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junkdrawerfics · 1 year ago

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Swan Sisters (Part 4)

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3

Bella and Sister!Reader

Summary: You get dragged into dress shopping in Port Angeles with the girls, which turns out to be a good thing considering Bella is a magnet for danger! Jasper is not in this one cause it got too long!

Word Count: 3534

Warnings: some violence (self defense) and allusion to/attempted assault (Port Angeles scene) also possibly horrid writing, I've been up for 24 hours!

---

“How was the beach?”

You meet Bella at the door, fluttering around her hectically as she toes her boots off and shakes stray droplets from her coat. She hits you with a look, the ‘calm down before I walk right back out of here’ look. Smiling apologetically, you back off a few paces, though you can’t stop the habitual leg bouncing.

She obviously had something planned last night, when you talked about La Push. Waiting is not exactly your forte these days. After wasting a couple hours working, you called Alice, who hadn’t seen anything, a common occurrence when the wolves are involved somehow. So wait you did, not that it was easy. The living room is in a completely different arrangement than it was this morning.

“It was fine. It rained a bit, but everyone seemed to have fun. I think I convinced Angella to ask Eric out,” she recounts once she hangs up her coat and starts towards the living room.

“Really? Angella and Eric? Huh.” You never thought of that, but they do seem like a perfect pair. Eric’s not too crazy and Ang- Wait, she’s trying to distract you! Focusing back in you, you prod a little further, “Besides that, did anything happen? Any coincidental Jacob appearances?”

‘Coincidental’ because you know of Jacob’s little crush on your sister. If he heard about Forks kids showing up on the reservation, he’d probably show up out of pure curiosity.

“Yup.”

Hm, the shut out approach. Smart. Unfortunately for her, you are now undying, which means an eternal amount of stubborn snooping.

“How’s he?”

“Fine, Billy’s good too.”

“That’s nice.” You give her just enough time to sit down and reach for the tv remote before plopping down next to her, your next question spilling out, “What did you guys talk about?”

Bella rolls her eyes, “Are we playing twenty questions?”

“Until I figure out what you were planning last night before dad came in,” you reply, just as snarkily, “So?”

“Fine,” she huffs, “I got him to tell me about the legend behind why they don’t like the Cullens. Happy?”

“How’d you do that?” This question is just for fun.

A lot of fun, considering Bella goes positively red, pursing her lips in discomfort.

“I might have…flirted with him,” she mumbles, scratching the back of her neck.

Oh the poor boy. Being exposed to that so young, he’ll never be the same. And to think, Bella can actually successfully flirt! You can’t stop yourself from snickering, which makes Bella look even more miserable.

“It’s alright, Bells.” You try to reassure her, but there’s no hiding the amusement in your voice, and she just glares at you. “Sometimes you just have to use your feminine wiles to get your way, you know?”

She groans, head dropping into her hands. Her voice comes out muffled when she growls, “I hate you so much.”

The laugh you let out is truly a cackle, completely evil in intent, “You could never.”

“I am this close.” She holds out her fingers, except they are pressed firmly together, which just makes you laugh harder.

It takes a moment for you to calm down again. It’s a good thing you don’t need air, otherwise you’d be gasping, ribs aching. But now you can laugh as much as you want, as long as you want. A weird perk, but one you enjoy.

“So,” you start again, wiping a nonexistent tear from your eye, “What did you learn?”

Bella shifts, just enough to cast you a sidelong glance. Her eyes, thoughtful, calculating, seem to look straight through you as she considers her words carefully. You wish she would just spit it out, but it’s not too hard to guess what she might be thinking.

“He said that the Cullens are some enemy clan, and that they have some treaty with the Quileutes that keep them off the reservation,” she finally explains, though her tone is clipped.

“An enemy clan, huh?”

That makes sense. You get the feeling that there’s more to what Jacob said, something about what you are, but you don’t press further. Whether she figures it out or not, you’re not too worried anymore. Alice’s visions always come true, and your stubbornness alone will deter the more gruesome ending.

You look at her face. There’s no fear in her expression as she meets your gaze. So maybe he didn’t say too much. But there’s still something. She has to know something. You catch yourself, humming at the realization that you want her to know something.

Maybe the quicker she figures it out, the quicker that future will come true.

You give her knee a soft squeeze and push yourself back to your feet, “Whelp, I’m glad you had fun, Bells. You should talk to Jacob more often, he’s a smart kid.”

Her brow furrows, confusion flooding her face at your conspiratorial grin. With a quick wink, you dart upstairs, leaving Bella positively bewildered much to your own amusement.

---

Not much changes the days following the conversation. The weather gets a little sunnier, meaning the Cullens don’t go to school and you get a few off days with Jasper. Bella doesn’t mention their absence, much to your surprise.

It’s almost like things are normal for a little bit.

She even invites you to Port Angeles for prom dress shopping, which prompted the question-

“You’re going to prom?!”

And the subsequent answer.

“No.” Said with such disdain, you let it drop immediately.

Even so, that’s how you find yourself here, watching Angela and Jessica try on dresses while Bella stares out the window, lost in thought. It’s a good thing that you know the girls from your time in Forks High, otherwise this would be so awkward.

Maybe that’s why she just invited you, to spare herself the pain of doing it alone.

“I like that one on you, Ang,” you chirp, “Lavender is totally your color.”

“Yah?” She smiles meekly, looking down at herself.

“Totally! Don’t you think Bella?” You give your sister a hard elbow to the ribs, making her jump and glare at you before turning to her friend.

“Definitely, Angela, you look beautiful.” At least she’s trying.

The two more normal girls go back to fussing over their dresses. Watching them gives you a dull sense of nostalgia. It’s been so long since you’ve done something like this with humans. Since you’ve been able to.

“So, (Y/n), are you still dating Jasper Hale?” Jessica suddenly pipes up, eyeing you with poorly hidden jealousy.

Ah, that, you haven’t missed. Out of the corner of your eye, you catch Bella smothering a smug smile. Karma.

“I am,” you reply shortly.

“Is that weird?” She presses as she stares at herself in the mirror, messing with a pair of white gloves. “Ya know, since you graduated and he’s still in school?”

“No. I skipped a grade, so we’re about the same age.” Not even close, technically, but appearance wise it is.

“Still-”

Thankfully, or unfortunately, she’s cut off by a sudden knock on the window. A group of men walk by, whooping and catcalling. Angela and Jessica flinch and shuffle away from the glass, faces twisting with discomfort. You frown, a sudden flare of anger flushes through you.

You jump in front of the girls, flipping the bird at the men as you bark a low, “Piss off!”

It doesn’t do much to damper their attitudes, since they’re probably too buzzed to notice the typically unnerving edge you carry as a vampire. Anger simmers low and hot in your gut. What happened to common decency?

“That is uncomfortable,” Jessica mumbles.

“But really cool, of you, (Y/n),” Angela murmurs, voice touched with awe, “Thanks.”

“Oh please, it’s only decent,” you grumble and slump back into your seat, “I can’t believe that.”

You’re tempted to go rip their heads off, but that wouldn’t look too good.

“It’s disgusting,” Bella agrees, looking just as frustrated.

You fall into a tense silence. It’s tense to you at least, but that’s probably because you’re watching the window like a hawk, as if they’ll come back at any moment. For their sake, you hope they don’t. Their death would not be pleasant. No, you’d make sure-

“What do you think of this one, Bella?”

Oh right, dress shopping. Probably not the best time to get swept up in murderous thoughts.

“It looks great.”

You snort. Is it possible to sound less enthusiastic?

“You’ve said that about, like, the last five dresses,” Jessica says with a grimace-like smile.

Bella shrugs, “I thought they were all pretty great.”

Angela, who’s observant nature rivals even Edward’s, picks up on her reluctance easily, “You’re not really into this, are you?”

“I actually just really wanted to go to this bookstore.”

You perk up a little in interest, eyeing your sister, “A bookstore?”

She noticably avoids your stare as she nods. Curious. Maybe something to do with her talk with Jacob?

“Well let’s go to this bookstore of yours then! We’ll catch you girls at the restaurant?” A charismatic smile and they agree easily. You tug Bella up by her arm, though she quickly jostles out of your grip with a soft glare.

“You don’t have to come,” she grumbles.

“Hmmm, stay here dress shopping for a prom I’m not going to or accompany my twig-like sister around a dangerous town?” You pretend to mull it over, rubbing your chin theatrically, and Bella rolls her eyes. “I’m afraid I’ll have to go with the ladder. For your safety, of course.”

“I can hold my own.”

Swan stubbornness.

“A gust of wind could knock you over, Bells. Or worse, a nice patch of wet concrete.”

No need to remind her of all the times you’ve watched her trip on nothing. The girl was frightfully uncoordinated. Plus, you’d heard word of some strange “animal” attacks nearby. It’s safer if you’re with her.

Though the trip turns out to be mostly uneventful. You walk to a small store, Thunderbird and Whale Bookstore, who’s clerk gives you a weird look as you puruse the indigenous literature. Not completely abnormal, given your appearance. Just abnormal enough to make you wonder, not too abnormal that people ask. But the legends of their people definitely make you more conscious of your human habits.

Breathe. In. Out. Blink. Shuffle.

Until he focuses on Bella as she comes up to him with a book.

You peer over her shoulder at the cover. Quileute Legends. Seems you right.

She shifts, blocking your sight as she tucks the book to her chest. With a quick thank you and goodbye, you’re back on the street. The restaurant shouldn’t be too far.

“So…Quileute legends?”

“Yep.”

You huff, “You’re so boring sometimes, Bella.”

She meets you tick for tick, “You’re so annoying sometimes, (N/n).”

Unconsciously, you catch the sound of heavy footsteps down a nearby road.

“That’s my job,” you chirp, slinging an arm over her shoulders, to draw her close, just to be careful.

“I thought you’re job was to teach me about makeup and boys and all that,” she snorts back.

The footsteps get louder.

Pretending to be playful, you pull her hood up, synching it over part of her face, “What do you want to know, hm?”

Bella looks at you, glare equal parts amused and irritated, until she catches the faintest glimmer of unease in your eyes. You smile, but it’s forced, too stiff, unnarturally sharp. She grip the book closer to her chest. As you push her into an alley, she catches sight of the two men walking where you had.

And they catch sight of the two of you. A glint sparks in their eyes. An all too familiar one. The hunt has begun.

“Keep walking, Bells, please.” You urge, voice tight.

Their gaze burns on the back of your neck, much like it had at the dress store, dripping with hunger. It brings back every memory of walking through Port Angeles alone. The fear, gripping your mace with white fingers, keys held like claws in your other hand. All because men like them think they are entitled to touch touch touch-

Rage simmers up your throat.

Any other day you could show them what that fear is like. How it feels to be hunted. But you’re too aware of Bella tucked under your arm, one hand curling around your wrist so tight, it would break if you weren’t made of marble. She would see. As much as you want her to know, this is not how you want her to figure it out.

So you clamp down on the rage. Dismembering them might not be the best solution anyways.

Though it sounds more appealing as you step out of the alley and watch the last of the drunken men slither out from the shadows. Disgusting snakes. They were waiting for you.

“Hey, where you running to?”

“There they are.”

Bella flinches, and you envision their blood spilled over the pavement, fizzling alongside their beer. Something inside you craves it, longs to see these men wounded in the same way they hurt young women. But you keep it locked down. Not yet. Not unless it’s necessary, you snarl to yourself.

“Stay close to me, Bella,” you murmur, arm like a metal guard around her shaking, frail shoulders.

The girl merely nods. Her eyes are wide, unblinking, like a china doll.

You will protect her. At all costs.

Head kepts low, you try to force yourself forward, through the men, but they close in like vultures around you.

“Woah, woah, woah, where are you going?”

“Yah, why don’t you hang out with us?” They chorus in agreement.

Your eyes dart around, looking for any way to escape. There’s maybe ten men, and you feel your throat tighten with each step they take towards you. With each step, Bella’s heartrate spikes, panic flickering over her features. You pull her impossibly closer.

You go rigid when a scorchingly hot, sweaty hand gropes your butt. Snarling, you slap it away, disgust burning a pit in your gut.

“Don’t you dare touch me,” you warn, though your eyes flicker between their identical, sickening smirks, unable to tell who did it. If Jasper were here, they’d all die for it. They still might.

“Oh, she doesn’t like that.”

“Feisty one, eh?”

“What about this one?”

Everything slows down for just a split second.

Another reaching hand, palm covered in sweat and beer, nails rimmed with dirt, skin smudged with oil. Ready to touch. Ready to take whatever it wants. Reaching for your sister.

Fast - too fast - you block his way. Bella gasps almost inaudibly behind you, but you’re too distracted as you catch the man’s wrist. His face goes stark white at your crushing grip, and it’s like the clouds clearing, his eyes setting on you for the first, real time. The fear glinting in their depths gives you a sick sense of satisfaction.

“Keep your disgusting, filthy hands off my sister,” you hiss slowly and give his wrist a deft twist.

The satisfying pop paired with his pained yelp is music to your ears.

Alongside the sound of screeching tires.

Edward.

Bella barely has time to breathe as you shove her towards the Volvo as it skids to a stop, barely catches the imperseptible nod you give Edward as he steps out. Ignoring her sputtering, you push her into the front seat.

“What the h-”

“Just stay put,” you grumble and slide into the backseat.

You don’t watch as Edward approaches the men. You don’t care to see their faces again. If you do, you just might turn around and break the remaining wrists. Maybe that would keep them from laying their hands on any innocents again.

Eyes flickering shut, you let every muscle in your body go still. It helps somehow, like you’re resetting. You focus on the sound of Bella’s breathing, how it slows down, and how her heart eventually returns to a normal rhythm.

It picks up a fraction when Edward slips back in, slamming his door hard enough to make the car shake.

“Hold on tight,” you whisper, mostly to yourself.

Bella turns to look at you, but gasps and clutches at her armrests when Edward whips right out of the lot. The man drives like usual, like he’s trying escape the depths of hell. This time, you don’t give him grief for it though.

“I should go back and rip their heads off,” Edward snarls, fingers going somehow paler around the steering wheel.

“No. Bad idea-”

“Sounds good to me-”

Bella shoots you a glare. With an unapologetic shrug, you turn to watch the trees race by. They might not have hurt the two of you, but there’s no doubt in your mind that they’ve done the same thing to some other poor soul. They deserve to rot.

“You don’t know the vile things they were thinking.”

You resist the urge to slap your forehead. Or him.

“And you do?” Bella’s brow furrows.

Cover it up, cover it up, you idiot.

“Not hard to guess.”

Better than that, Edward.

The glare he sends you through the rearview mirror is remarkably similar to your sister’s. They really will make a lovely match. Good thing they can’t have kids, what with the amount of disapproval they can put together.

“Good thing you were visiting Port Angeles, huh Edward?” You tease with a lecherous grin pointed right back at him.

“You were just…visiting.” Bella’s voice rings with suspicioun.

Edward grinds his teeth, “Yup. Visiting.”

The word is slowly losing all meaning.

You settle back into your seat as an awkward silence fills the cabin. If you didn’t know better, you would think Edward was just another inexperienced teenager, new to the whole love thing. Though, he still looks ready to murder those guys, based on his black glare barely focused on the road.

Remembering them brings back a new feeling. Not fear, but a remanent, the faintest lingering of anxiety that makes you grit your teeth. Dread maybe, because you can’t help but wonder - what if it happened a year ago? It’s pointless, you know, but there’s no banishing the images that come to mind.

Something hollow opens in your chest as you shake your head, as if that will dislodge them.

Edward glances back at you again. His gold eyes crease with concern, but ignoring him seems better than admitting to something so stupid. You’re a vampire now, nothing like that will happen. Instead, you let thoughts of Jasper fill your mind. His smile. His eyes. Anything to keep you distracted until you’re in his arms.

Bella must tell Edward where to go, because the next thing you know, you’re pulling up to the restaurant you were meant to meet Jessica and Angela at. They are barely walking out the door as you park. Bella jumps out, probably to greet them, and Edward goes to follow, but you stop him with a hand on his elbow. Gold eyes flash back to meet yours, still concerned and questioning.

“Thank you,” you all but whisper, squeezing his elbow gently.

His features soften, a small, genuine smile flashing over his lips, “Go. I’ll take care of Bella. Alice told Jasper about tonight, he needs you just as much right now.”

Those words wash over you like a warm tide. Somehow, the thought of Jasper in a rage over your safety, despite you being almost stronger than him now, makes you feel a little better. His protectiveness almost matches your own, though yours spans to practically everyone around you.

Speaking of.

You slip out of the car and give Bella one last once over. She looks…okay. No bruises. No lingering fear. Like it never happened. Satisfied, you nod to yourself and pull her into a tight, almost crushing hug. She jumps, wheezing out a soft laugh.

“I’m fine, (Y/n).”

“I know, I know. Just, stay with Eddie, okay? He’ll get you food and take you home.”

Bella frowns, “Where are you going?”

“To see Jasper.” You offer her a guilty smile, though she nods her understanding. “Eddie called him right before he got to us, so he’s freaking out a little.” Another nod. “Love you, Bells.”

“Love you, too.”

One last squeeze and you pull away, offering the two other girls a short wave, “Night girls, get home safe, alright?”

“You too, (Y/n)!”

“It was nice seeing you again.”

As you turn to leave, you hear Bella flip on her heels, laughter in her voice, “Eddie?”

Edward’s following groan casts off the last of your dark clouds. You’ll pay for that somehow, you’re sure, but it’ll be totally worth the pure enjoyment it brings you. He hates it when you call him that. Almost as much as Bella hates it when you call her Tinkerbell. Another match.

The silver lining of this all is that you have a convenient reason to leave them alone together.

And based on the events of the night, Bella will probably have more questions than Edward can answer without lying. Plus the book. Everything’s lining up, it’ll just depend on how much Edward outs himself!

---

Part 5 (ending)

I hope y'all enjoyed! The next part will likely be the last! And sorry if you missed Jasper in this part :( I try to keep my stories to below 4k words, so I decided to keep that for the next part.

@avadakadabra93

@glaciuswduo

#x reader #reader #reader insert #jasper hale #jasper whitlock #twilight saga #twilight #swan reader #swan sisters

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hazshit-hotel-hater · 8 months ago

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What are your opinions on each of the songs? (you can answer with as much or as little detail as you'd like)

Big shocker that the songs from the 2 good episodes are in S and the only one that isn’t is still B tier/sar

The first 2 songs in S made me either tear up/shake violently or cry, and therefore they deserve to be up there IMO. Out for love is also just genuinely catchy and had actual build up to it. Also God “Ready for This” just. OOUGGGHHH IT SCRATCHES MY BRAIN SO GOOD LIKE A WARRIOR CATS MAP. I like it a lot. You cant have multiple characters sing about working together and expect me to NOT cry.

“Stayed Gone” isn’t one I listen to often but it’s so peppy and fast and full of hatred I can’t help but enjoy it. Also everytime the song starts my brain does this

I dont know anything about Welcome Home

I have. Issues. With “Loser, Baby” but aside from those the song holds a lot more weight to it than I usually give it credit for. And for as cheesy as the start if it is, the line before of Angel talking about self destructing resonates with me a lot. Also Husk lays down in a puddle of vomit and no one talks about that ever.

I think the first song in B is “Happy Day in Hell” and I’m adding it there 1. Because it is the first song 2. It gets a reprise thing 3. Charlie almost gets hit by a truck. Other than that it’s not really my favourite but I respect the impact it has.

“Hell is Forever” just fucks. End of story. Alex Brightman killed it.

“Respectless” is good I love Velvette’s VA, but the sudden start of the song and the ending are so out of left field the first time me and my friends watched this show we had to pause cause we lost our fucking minds. Could’ve been better but I’d listen to it again, yeah.

“Hell’s Greatest Dad” is silly and funny and maybe I’m biased as a violin player and jazz enjoyer but a lot of the instrumental tickles my brain so nicely. I will say though it confuses me so much because why does Alastor care about being seen as a father figure?? My mom said it could just be him wanting to show up Lucifer and that’s it but I dunno.

“More than Anything (Reprise)” AKA “Charlie and Veggie Kiss Scene - Hazbin Hotel”

This song sounds like it’s straight out of Barbie & Th Diamond Castle and I’m honestly pissed the girls in the movie didn’t kiss so I’m coping with this. ALSO THE FACT ITS A REPRISED SONG ABOUT LOVE MAKES ME A BIT CRAZY. I never noticed this was the same song Lucifer sang to Charlie SOMEHOW but that’s actually really cute.

“It Starts With Sorry” Has a big part in Sir Pentious’s character growth and just his character in general. I’ve been working on this in my Pentious rant but I never see people mention how much this song probably meant to him. Yeah it’s super corny, but he was fully expecting to be killed and had just been told to kill himself. This was definitely huge for him and I’m not gonna be convinced otherwise.

“You Didn’t Know” is really good but Lute’s part is by far the best and I pray to GOD she gets her own song in S2 her voice actor can SING. GODDAMN! I am very interested in Lute’s character development and I love seeing what people do with close-minded characters like that and hopefully Vivzie doesn’t condemn her to Vivziepop Woman Syndrome. If she isn’t important in S2 I’m going to be pissed but I dunno maybe S3 if we get one.

“More Than Anything” Wish my dad was like this! This song is incredibly sweet and I appreciate it a lot. Honestly might go way higher on the list if I keep thinking about it.

“Whatever It Takes” Sorry you will never be Imagine Dragons. Vaggie doesn’t sound anything like herself cause her VA is making her voice so much more gruff for her character, which is fine! I like her voice (the voice direction is not very good but I digress) it’s just her voice is so high in this I can’t even tell it’s Vaggie.

“Welcome to Heaven” is boring, but we got a Molly cameo!

“Poison”. Read this and this and this. -10/10. I’d rather make out violently with Elon Musk.

#hazbin hotel #hazbin critical #hazbin hotel criticism #hazbin hotel critical #raimble #hazbin hotel song #hazbin songs #hazbin spoilers #hazbin hotel spoilers

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lv-iceprince · 2 years ago

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ladybird ~ part i

~series masterlist~

pairing~ badboy! choi yeonjun x fem!childhood friend! reader

genre~ (s) (a) (au) (f)

featuring~ sickeningly soft yeonjun, crime, a dramatic & emotional yeonjun, protective bf vibes, yeonjun & y/n don’t know shit about love and romance, tfw when he’s a badboy but a baby for y/n, rough sex, unprotected sex, slight dumbification, accidental creampie, porn with hella plot, use of a sex toy, wet dreams, angsty angsty emotions and actions and body worship (recieving) .

synopsis~ you were the safety pin that kept his life from falling apart at the seams, so it was only natural that yeonjun felt his heart growing every time you graced him with your presence. but it was wrong, there was no way he was going to corrupt his innocent friend, yet his mind thought otherwise. his lewd dreams were never supposed to see the light of day yet here he was hovering above you, fearing the day you would leave his arms for good...

or the one where a wish on a ladybug and a dream changes the life of a boy with an affinity for band-aids and strawberry lollipops.

word count~ 11.4k

playlists~ 🐞 💗

a/n~ thank you @fallinforgyu for inspiring me enough to leave a six year long writers block because of your beautiful series cherry. now my amazing bunny, this is crazy because ladybird would never have existed if it wasn’t for your kindness and amazing way with words and i am truly grateful. (p.s. its me vampirateking! new blog new me).

now this fic and the lo$er’s in love universe was a year in the making but i personally feel like it was worth it. there’s a lot in store for this series so make yourself comfortable, grab a snack or a drink and lets get this show on the road.

and in terms of the fic yeonjun’s dreams are in italics until the ending scene. the main smut scene will be in italics but it isn’t a dream and the song playing in the car is dream lover by the vaccines

You were definitely going to get him back for this.

“College is overrated as hell.”

“You were actually going to leave me y/n? Shame on you!”

“Fine, whatever...Oh where am I going? To see my new best friend Beomgyu.”

So, what did you do? You rejected your college acceptance letter, just so you could stand in the kitchen of a sticky, heat-drenched diner and witness the one man concert your best friend was putting on.

To say your parents were disappointed would be a massive understatement, you had a lot going for you, or so they said. Sure, you were class valedictorian a few years in a row but at the end of the day that didn’t mean shit to you. You were set up for success, but that success was just another bragging right that your parents held above the heads of their associates.

It took Yeonjun a total of ten minutes to convince you to stay, and though you feigned reluctance you weren’t actually planning to leave. You could have made the decision to cut him off so he wouldn’t have to rant for the next hour, but he looked so cute. The way his forehead creased and the way he bit his lip as he tried to come up with another reason why you should stay with him was so heart-warming, so you let him continue his one-sided debate.

Sentimentalities aside it’s times like this when you questioned your decision, college was starting to look like the better option. At least Yeonjun was enjoying himself, gripping onto the spatula he swivelled his hips to the music pouring through the radio.

“I told you I’d change even, when I knew I never could. I know that I can’t find nobody else as good as you.” When those words leave his mouth, he spins into an elegant half turn, topping it off with a wink, the energy he had today was impressive. He just about kicked your bedroom door down this morning, “Ass in the car now! You still work a job you hate and I’m hungry.” He clearly didn’t care about your frustrated groans when he aggressively ripped the curtains back. And like that you were rendered blind. Much to your dismay when you could actually see again you were met with Yeonjun’s face mere centimetres away from your own. He would have been a sight for sore eyes if he wasn’t such a pain in the ass.

“I take it you’ve got a new girlfriend?”

“Nope.”

“Got laid?”

“Definitely not.”

You quirked your brow. Choi Yeonjun, the one who openly confessed that he absolutely loathes the single life was passionately performing a song for his loyal cutlery, and he didn’t get laid? Okay.

“Well can you at least enlighten me? It looks like you have enough happiness to go around, the least you could do is share.” Yeonjun paused before grinning, he placed the spatula on the table. “I was going to leave it as a surprise, but since you insisted... Do you have any plans tonight?”

You kind of wish you never asked, even the crappy air con was caught off guard, letting out a few coughs and splutters.

“Come again?” Yeonjun rolled his eyes “You can’t tell me he doesn’t deserve it! He broke your heart and left you stranded, if he could do that to someone like you, he isn’t a good guy. Okay, how about this, I’ll take you home and I’ll do it myself.” He turns away, facing a precarious stack of plates; his lips forming into a guilty pout.

Normally if your childhood friend confesses that he had brought his trusty baseball bat to work and subsequently invited you out to wreck your ex’s car when your shift was over, you should have cut him off with a no and called for an intervention of some sort. Or at least that’s what you assumed. “Normal” was a distant memory. You had abandoned a normal life the day a scrawny boy, who donned only the best thick rimmed glasses, came to your aid after you took a tumble onto the hardwood chips scattered around the playground.

Neither of you can recall what took place or why you were on the ground clutching your bleeding knee, the one thing you both agree on is that he was suave even back then. Out of all the things he could have done the 8-year-old reached for his bag, fishing out a pack of Doraemon bandages and a strawberry lollipop.

At the time you didn’t think to question what he was doing, you just watched him unwrap the lollipop and tap it against your lips, a silent jest for you to say “aah”. As soon as the hard candy was in your mouth, he got to work meticulously patching up your leg while he introduced himself, giving you narration of his life and its dysfunctionality.

Maybe you were biased but there wasn’t much that had changed about the boy, well that isn’t necessarily true. If he were the main character in an over-the-top coming of age movie, he would have dramatically thrown his glasses into the trash, slicked his back his hair, stolen his dad’s leather jacket and called it a day.

Nevertheless, the boy in front of you still held the same look of concern that he wore that day, and he still patched your bruises and scrapes up with his sickeningly sweet band-aids.

You couldn’t help but chuckle and approach the sulking boy. Wrapping your arms around his waist you leaned in close, lazily placing your head on his shoulder, he didn’t have to look you in the eye to sense the stupid grin on your face.

“Wow, you’re really committing to the silent treatment, it’s been what two minutes? You’re breaking my heart Junnie.” His eyes widen when he feels your grip on his waist tighten, he was thankful that you couldn’t see his flustered state. If you had heard the soft gasp he let out you didn’t show it. “Hey, you know I didn’t say no, it sounds like fun!”

Maybe your parents were right, he was definitely a bad influence but what they didn’t know couldn’t possibly hurt them.... right?

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

The wind traced patterns in your hair, moments before Yeonjun had any sense to tug you back into your seat. Neither drugs nor alcohol could mimic the feeling you felt, he had a habit of revving his car as if to tease you, something that was confirmed by the cocky look on his face.

The misplaced beats of Yeonjun’s favourite song added to the dreamlike state you were in. The lyrics were a blurred frenzy to you but in his case each word was nipping at his sanity.

Seeing you like that, a picture of perfection, brought back the feelings of guilt he felt at the diner. It wasn’t a complete lie, he was pretty stoked to be wrecking Changkyun’s car, however, he decided to omit the main source of his excitement. There were things that he just couldn’t tell you, no matter how much he wanted to let loose and spill the beans.

Sure, his own breakup had affected him, for the first time in his life he actually thought it would work out, but it didn’t. Normally he would have been out looking for a one-night stand within a day, that didn’t happen. Reality hit him hard leaving him inconsolable for weeks. While Beomgyu and the other boys refused to go near him, you were sneaking out of your window and spending the night at his house. That was when things had changed for him.

You had both passed out on his bed after some intense mutual venting, he was certain that he had only ever viewed you in a platonic light. However, his dream said otherwise.

“Jun, wake up, you’re having a nightmare”. Your warm voice coaxed his eyes to flutter open, he squinted in confusion, immediately realising what had happened. Shame engulfed him when he noticed the damp patch in his boxer briefs.

“Sorry”.

To this day he still didn’t know whether he was apologising for startling you or on behalf of his lewd dream, in that moment all he could do was swallow the lump that formed in his throat. He prayed to God that the entire situation was a once off, it wasn’t.

It was always the same dream, the one where he would wrap an arm around you while he gently coaxes you to lie down on your plush pink bedsheets. Hovering above you he would lean in and kiss you like his life depended on it. His fingers would trace your leg while he broke the connection. The moan you let out was music to his ears and your fingertips felt like silk when you reached for his arm. His needy baby was always so good to him, so he thought he would return the favour. “Ssh, I’ll make you feel good” each night you respond with the same three words, “I trust you”.

“I trust you.” Yeonjun’s eyes widen “H-huh?” His startled expression was met with your light smile “I was just saying, I trust you to not get us arrested. I know you’ll protect me; you’d be the worst friend ever if you didn’t.” “I will baby, when have I ever let you down?” the sly wink he gave you was pure ecstasy.

Not many people could say that they had such a loving relationship with someone like Yeonjun, in your junior years of high school you had actually begged him to be your first kiss. He denied your advances and majorly cock-blocked you from himself, despite that you still chose friendship over not having him.

Still reeling from the wink, you failed to notice the car come to a shuddering stop, within seconds Yeonjun was out of the car skipping towards the back seat. Exiting, you stopped to lean against the side of the car watching him reach for his trusty baseball bat.

If his arched back wasn’t provocative enough you just had to notice his work uniform riding up ever so slightly, exposing his lower stomach. You did your best to overt your eyes but it was a too late, even if he didn’t see your gaze, he definitely felt it. He wiggled his hips before exiting the car with the bat “Do you like what you see y/n? I’ve been working the pole just for you.”

“You know it doesn’t count as working the pole for me if you never invite me to your shows, inviting my mum and not me? that’s a low blow Yeonjun.” “I’ll invite you if you give me a low blow...” “Shut up.” Turning away in mock frustration you walk off in the direction of Changkyun’s house while Yeonjun trailed behind you.

Yeonjun was the only one who could make something illegal look so charming, he kept up the skip in his step, occasionally swinging his bat. He knew this neighbourhood like the back of his hand, he had lost count of the number of times he had dropped you off at Changkyun’s house.

The day Yeonjun had gotten his license he was officially the designated driver of his entire friend group, which consisted of you, Soobin, Beomgyu, Taehyun and Kai. He knew that the majority of you were just too lazy to drive yourselves anywhere, but he never questioned it. Despite Beomgyu spilling nearly every food and soda known to man in his car Yeonjun was still taking him on 1am convenience store food runs.

Some time had passed and Yeonjun had begun walking backwards up the sidewalk, his foxy eyes sparkling underneath the streetlights.

There is a shift in mood when Yeonjun spots the Lexus that he had come to actively despise. In the blink of an eye your best friend approaches it with a cocky saunter, he takes a moment to run his hand through his pink locks before striking the front of the car.

Somehow, even after the loud thud, the unassuming neighbourhood maintained its ignorance. And Yeonjun was just getting started. He is relentless, part of you feels like he has completely forgotten that he had brought you along. Whenever you got a glimpse of his eyes you could see anger, hurt, and an emotion you couldn’t quite comprehend.

Panting, he struck one of the rear-view mirrors watching as the glass fell near his feet. You had considered grabbing the bat from his hand and ordering him to stop but there was also another part of you that wanted to rip the bat from him and gain closure by landing a swing or two of your own. You swore the thought had only crossed your mind for a few seconds at most, nevertheless, he turns to you. As if reading your mind, he beckoned you to come closer and placed the bat in your hand. “Your turn! Really stick it to that asshole.” Noticing your sudden reluctance Yeonjun chuckled and placed his hands on top of your own.

“You’ve got this, forget you suck at baseball and follow my lead.” Placing his hands on top of yours he pulled you in so that your back was against his chest. As if he was leading you in a dance the boy swayed with you as you struck the heinous car. The boy let out a surprised laugh, part of him didn’t believe you would actually do it. His grip on your hand tightened, the only difference was that you were leading this time.

In his mind he had every right to be smug about this moment, your boyfriend had fucked up and now he held you in his arms. If he could have had it his way, he would have pulled you in for a messy kiss as Changkyun rounded the corner to find his car totalled and his girl taken.

“You’re doing so well bubs.”

Yeonjun hadn’t even realised that those words had left his mouth, why would he? He had recited them countless times in his hazy dreams.

Your thighs quivered while you tried your hardest to keep going, you were about to reach your third high of the night. Despite him reassuring you that you could stop at any moment you kept going.“Ah...fuck you’re doing so well bubs.” In these moments he is never able to control himself, placing his shaking hands on your hips he flips you over crashing his lips onto yours.

The last swing of the bat, the cherry on top, was all it took for the shrill car alarm to go off. The voyeur in him wanted to get caught just to prove a point, instead he pulled the bat out of your hand while his free hand reached for yours, and like always he ran. Yeonjun had learnt one important thing that night, that you couldn’t run as fast as he could. He was quite literally dragging you along the sidewalk, he couldn’t help but smile despite the ache that was forming in his chest when he forced himself to run faster. There probably wasn’t a need to run that fast but he was truly terrified at the thought of you getting caught. You miraculously knew how to talk yourself out of most situations, that wasn’t the thing that worried him. His main concern was with your parents.

They had made it clear on multiple occasions that they had an underlying issue with him, he was a bad influence they said, that he wasn’t going to achieve anything in life and that he would eventually want y/n in a way that would make any devout Christian clutch at their rosaries. Out of all the things your parents had claimed that was the one thing that had bothered him the most, but not anymore. Turns out that was the one thing they had gotten right.

Yeonjun collided with the car his shaking hands fumbling to open the door, huffing out a nervous laugh. “My god, why did I finally remember to lock my car?!” Yeonjun scrunched up a fist furiously slamming it at the window, as if that would magically unlock his ride.

It’s ironic. Yeonjun had just pulled you half way across the neighbourhood just so you both wouldn’t get caught, yet here he stood struggling to make a grand getaway.

“Yeonjun, Yeonjun, YEONJUN… sweetie just check your pockets, we need to go like, right this minute.” The word ‘sweetie’ dripping in the best kind of sarcasm.

In silent agreeance he leans the bat against the car, placing his hand in one of his pant pockets. Score.

He looks up at you with a dumb grin, dangling the keys in his hand

“Found them! What would I do without you?”

“I know, I know, now hurry up! Unlike you I don’t get hard disobeying the law.”

Yeonjun clicks the remote and pretty much dives into the car, pulling the bat in he brings a hand up stopping it from jabbing you in the head. Though every part of him wanted to reverse the car and trailblaze into the horizon he couldn’t pull his gaze from you. Your hair was plastered onto your forehead and your cheeks were tinged with a faint red; this wasn’t the first time he had seen you so dishevelled but he was always shocked at how good you looked. Lacking any self-restraint Yeonjun reached a hand out and brushed a piece of hair out of your eyes.

You shoot him a ‘What now?’ look, Yeonjun smiled poking your nose “Hmphh.” Everything he felt was laced into that one sound. “I can’t believe you just did that; I mean I know your birthday is in a couple weeks but wow you really are growing up.” You reached across and slapped his arm “Ow! I meant that as a compliment.” For some reason you were slightly sceptical that he wasn’t going to make a joke at your expense. “I’m serious! You were so cool y/n, dude is going to be shaking in his Birkenstocks or whatever guys like him wear.”

Yeonjun turned the key bringing his car to life once again. “Hey I forgot; we’re going to buy a little birthday gift for my best girl tomorrow.” “Really?! Wait who is helping you choose out a gift. No offense but I wasn’t really too keen on what Taehyun bought me last year.” You let out a devious laugh remembering your initial reaction when you had unwrapped the neatly wrapped present, you couldn’t help the look of utter disappointment that worked its way onto your face. You seriously respected Taehyun’s love of practical gifts but you probably weren’t ever going to use “the world’s smallest vacuum cleaner”, even if Taehyun insisted that your desk would thank him.

Yeonjun broke into a loud fit of laughter when he remembered the whole event that had transpired. “Maybe this year he’ll actually buy you a sex toy.”

“Dude stop! How was I supposed to know it was a freaking vacuum cleaner, he literally said it sucked, would bring me pleasure, make my life easier, relieve me of my stresses and would be my ‘perfect little friend’. You said it yourself! He was basically marketing a sex toy!” “No way I think that says more about you than Taehyun’s taste in gifts. But that’s beside the point “we” is us! You’re coming along for the ride.”

He seemed so sure of his proposal, a stark contrast to your deadpan reaction. “Oh yay, sounds like fun.” Yeonjun rolled his eyes, kind of concerning since he was just about to round a corner. “Quit being so pessimistic, it’s not like you’re gonna die out of boredom or anything.” Yeonjun went quiet for some time, only taking the opportunity to speak, when he pulled up at a red traffic light. “Please!”

Even though you failed to answer him Yeonjun wore the prettiest smile you had ever seen for the remainder of the car ride, all of his anxious thoughts remained with the wrecked car.

“Dude you can park in the driveway you know that right?” “And face your parents? No thanks.” You frowned “Come on Yeonjun! Just drop me at the door please!” “I’m sorry needy child, it’s a hard pass.” Though you were thoroughly disappointed Yeonjun’s gaze said enough, he wasn’t serious.You pouted at him “Yeonjunnie stop being salty” Yeonjun continued to look at you, still not answering. “Fine you win, I’ll tag along if you walk me to the front door.” Yeonjun smiled, exiting the car. Patting his work uniform down he held his hand out, eagerly awaiting yours.

“Well, I guess we should leave it here, see you tomorrow?” He tilted his head flashing you a dreamy look, one that you swear he only ever gave to the girls he brought back to his bed. “Yeah, see you tomorrow.” A chill made its way up your spine, you tried to convince yourself that it was thanks to the slight chill in the air, not him whipping out a cigarette just to let it hang loosely between his plush lips. “Goodnight bubs.” Your eyes widened in confusion “You aren’t coming in?” It was such a small thing, but you had come to expect Yeonjun literally walking you to your room, the only thing he drew a line at was tucking you in. “Not tonight bubs, I... I have somewhere I need to be.” It wasn’t as if this was news to you, Yeonjun had a... colourful... track record, one where he never failed to cut the night short so he could hook up with some lucky guy or girl. “Oh okay, I guess I’ll see you around then”. Yeonjun gave nothing more than a nod in agreeance before he turned on his heels and walked away.

You tried to ignore the slight pang in your heart, you told yourself that it didn’t matter whether he had another fling or not, but you would be lying if you said the idea hadn’t bothered you. You heart felt bitter at the idea of him holding someone close, sighing you graciously flopped onto your plush pink sheets. “I think it’s my room.” you murmured to yourself scanning the pink and cream décor. “Definitely friend-zoned material.” You’re jolted out of your depressed stupor by a knock at the window, you stopped yourself from letting out a startled yelp when you caught a glimpse of his pink hair. The fact that you didn’t hear him climb up to your bedroom on the second floor was honestly impressive.

You ripped the curtains open startling the boy, he signalled for you to open your window. You slid the window open “What do you want now?” You couldn’t hide the slight irritation in your voice. “Come on don’t be like that, you forgot your smile.” His words weren’t amusing “Okay I’ll stop, but you forgot your wallet.” Yeonjun tilts his head to the side, ensuring that the smoke from his now lit cigarette wouldn’t assault your senses. He reached into his pockets fishing out your wallet passing it to you “Oh, I forgot. Close your eyes.” You closed your eyes with a huff.

Yeonjun reached for your free hand, lovingly tracing patterns before sliding on a candy bracelet “You can open your eyes.” You smiled down at the hard candy “What’s this for?” “Just wanted to make sure you were joining me tomorrow. See you around y/n.” With that Yeonjun departed, as soon as his feet had met the ground, he turned to look you up and down once more before walking off into the evening sun.

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

Yeonjun shoved a glob of fries and soft serve into his mouth. “So, I was thinking of going to that one mall with the tree growing in the plaza. I saw something a couple of weeks back, made me think of you, fingers crossed it’s still there.”

“Really? That’s awesome but you really don’t need to” It wasn’t that you thought he couldn’t afford to peruse that side of town, he probably could if he put his mind to it, but the Berrymont Mall always came across as being the rich persons paradise, you couldn’t even afford to go there yourself. “Um of course I need to, I promised it would be special this year.” Yeonjun stood with a stretch allowing his cropped sweater ride up.

You rolled your eyes at the little show he was putting on for the worker manning the register. “You can’t be serious” “I saw the extra swirl they gave me; I’m thanking them.” You shoved the last nugget into your mouth “Come on let’s go lover boy, I want that gift.” Yeonjun smiles at the lucky soul before following after you. “Y/n you do realise that I’m not giving it to you today.” He smirked at his own innuendo. “We were both done eating, I wanted to leave.”

Yeonjun swore he saw a smidge of jealousy, but he still didn’t want to believe it. You had handled your breakup so maturely, yeah you cried into his shoulder, venting about your heart being torn to pieces but besides that you seemed to move on with your life. If you were even mildly attracted to someone you didn’t show it, well maybe you did stare into his eyes more than usual or trace his fingers with yours but in his mind it all boiled down to his own wishful thinking.

He couldn’t tell whether he had upset you but you hadn’t shown any sign of slowing down, leaving him trailing behind in the distance. “Hey y/n! I’m just checking my account!” Yeonjun ran to the ATM that stood off to the side, huffing at the sight before him.

-$5.36.

Okay so maybe he wasn’t as wealthy as he had led you to believe, he clicked his tongue out of frustration and placed his hands on his hips. He could hear you approaching so he quickly cancelled out of everything and turned around to greet you. “Are you okay?” “Pfft yeah, I’m totally fine, just don’t want you seeing how much I have, I’m not ready to be your sugar daddy bubs. Now let’s go, got to beat the rush.”

The walk to the jewellery store was silent as Yeonjun mentally hyped himself up for the crime he was about to commit. There was no way he would miss out on getting something that he deemed as valuable as yourself. “Did you want me to come in or?” Such a simple question made him panic. “No! I mean, I’d love that, but it wouldn’t be much of a surprise if you followed me around the whole day. Just relax, I’ll be fifteen minutes tops.”

He wasn’t about to wait for your answer, there is no way he wanted you to witness what he was about to do. Upon entering the store Yeonjun brushed his elbow against a round bear plushie sending it tumbling to the smooth tiles. Acting the part of an innocent bystander he reached for the plushie giving it a once over ‘Cute, Kai would love this’ with that thought he resumed his nice guy act, giving a smooth charming smile he returned it to the shelf. “And I’ll be back for you later.”

Yeonjun wasted no time pushing past the crowd giving the cashier a fright as he placed his hands on the glass counter with a loud thud. “Can I help you?” “Uh sure, I’d like to buy that bracelet please.” Yeonjun pointed towards the most dazzling tennis bracelet he had ever seen, if you didn’t accept it from him, he would definitely be able to find a use for it.

Yeonjun leaned against the counter, trying to lure the cashier in with a coy smile. “I bet it’s prettier in person” not letting his gaze falter he watched as the woman unlocked the glass cabinet. He decided to keep the conversation going to avoid suspicion “I’m surprised it’s still here; When I spotted this beauty, I knew it would be perfect for my girl.” He was too distracted by the shimmering bracelet to realise how easily the words had slipped out of his mouth. “You wouldn’t mind if I had a closer look, would you?”

Honestly, Yeonjun hadn’t expected her to cave this quickly. “It's her birthday in a couple of days so I thought I would treat her to a little something, I don’t know how to describe it but her smile is probably the cutest thing in the world, cuter than those plushies back there. Wish you could see it; I should invite you to her party.” He couldn’t help but chuckle at her bored expression.

Her expression transformed into shock as Yeonjun clasped the bracelet in his hand, turned on his heels and to ran out of the store. When he made it to the door, he tore one of the bears off of the shelf, unbothered by the rest of them being knocked to the ground.

He found you, leaning against the door, you hadn’t even registered what he was doing. Tucking the awkwardly shaped plushie under his arm and ran off in the direction of the nearest exit. You were his best friend for a reason, so without asking questions you ran after him, surprising yourself at how you managed to catch up with him this time. Yeonjun waited for you to dive into the passenger seat before bringing his car to life.

You hadn’t even managed to buckle up and Yeonjun had swerved out onto the road, already driving as if he was trying to lose somebody. You considered asking him, respectfully of course, what the fuck was going on. But before you could question him Yeonjun pulled over to the side, smiling as he replayed the event in his head, he felt so cool.

“Sorry for leaving you behind, I nearly dropped the bear, can you imagine? I would have looked so stupid.” It was the cockiest thing you had ever heard but the sheepish grin that followed was contagious. His happiness was shortlived.

Spotting the flashing red and blue lights Yeonjun turned off the interior light and reclined his seat, gesturing for you to do the same. You responded by reclining your seat, the overload of energy coursing through you made your hands shake. Those hands were borderline offensive, he wanted to grip your hand and comfort you but for some reason his nerves got the better of him. Yeonjun turned on his side making eye contact with you, it took a mere few seconds for the police car to speed past, yet the tension in the air was thick. You shuffled closer to Yeonjun, noticing how eager you were he closed his eyes and leaned in, his heart viciously thumping against his chest.

“Yeonjun... What are you doing?”

He had hoped that when he opened his eyes he would be met with your lips, but that wasn’t the case, instead he was met with the realisation that he was definitely jumping the gun. He cleared his throat and sat up, his mind racing as he tried to come up with a good excuse.

“All of that for a plushie?” Yeonjun’s guilty smile fell, it would have been better if you just straight up called him out for his attempted kiss. “What no that’s not for you, that’s for Kai. Your gift is here” He points towards his crotch causing you to furrow your brows in frustration. “Can’t you be serious for one goddamn minute?! You never- “He lifted his leg pulling out the bracelet. “This is yours.” He dangled it in your face and placed it on your lap.

“I don’t want it.”

“Oh, come on! Don’t be like that.”

“Wrecking his car was one a once off Yeonjun, I told you how I feel about you doing things like this. I want to return it.” Yeonjun bit his tongue, trying his hardest to keep composed. He was cursed with a hot temper but he always kept his composure around you. “There’s no way in hell that I’m going back there, if you don’t want it, I’ll keep it.”

“You’re missing the point.”

“No y/n you’re the one missing the damn point! How could you be so fucking mad at me when I literally did this for you!”

“Well, I didn’t ask for you to do that, seriously what were you thinking Yeonjun?!”

“Whatever.”

“No, I’m actually curious, what made you think this was what I wanted?”

“I’m not doing this, I’m done talking.”

Yeonjun swings the door open and takes a step into the frosty late afternoon breeze, tears pooling at the corner of his eyes. He turns away from the car, his hand raking through his styled pink hair. You can barely hear the words that are spoken, before he kicks the hood of the car. Every single emotion he was feeling deeply etched onto his face. He was always bark and no bite, at least that’s what he was told, and it was true. There was no way he would even think of hurting you; in the time you had known him he had never once raised his voice and he wanted to keep it that way.

Suffering from instant regret he inspected the vague dent in the hood, his car wasn’t anything awesome, merely a crappy hand-me-down from his dad. Regardless he didn’t want it bent out of shape, his fingers were centimetres away from the bruised-up metal when something caught his eye. A small red dot, a ladybug perched on the hood above where his shoe had been seconds ago. He swiped his hand, encouraging it to take flight and ultimately leave him the hell alone.

But you were his insufferable friend who held his heart in the palm of her hand, you saw right through his act, exiting the car and pulling him into a tight hug. Which made him crumble “I’m sorry y/n, life is just really fucking stupid for me right now.” He stooped his head low letting it fall into the crook of your neck.

When Yeonjun’s tears had eventually died down you pulled away from him, he looked at you, his sweet fox eyes now resembling that of a lost puppy. He watched you as you walked over to the car and fished out a lollipop. Removing the wrapper you shoved the lollipop into his mouth, his pout becoming a thing of the past. It was then that he noticed the same little red dot that he had tried so hard to be rid of, but this time it had found an even better place to relax. Instead of shooing it away Yeonjun cups his hand gently retrieving it from your hair and presenting it to you, and for a split second, behind those gleaming eyes you swore you could see the young Doraemon fanatic in the flesh. “If you don’t want the bracelet, at least accept this wish.” Even if he was still recovering from his outburst, he still managed to draw out twin giggles from the both of you.

Clasping his hands in yours you encouraged him to unfold them, both of you tried to move your attention down to the ladybug, you found it difficult to overt your gaze. There was something there, his heart was screaming out a confession of love, but it never met the light of day. Even after the little wish took flight you were still caught up in his eyes.

“What did you wish for?”

“Like I’d ever tell you Yeonjun...what did you wish for?”

Maybe expecting a genuine answer from him was the setting the bar too high “I wished that you would have an amazing day tomorrow, how does that sound? Is that the right answer?”

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

None of them were prepared for the Yeonjun that waltzed into Beomgyu’s house that night, they weren’t even expecting him to show. Beomgyu had gotten used to his friend cancelling on him at the last minute, even when it was blatantly obvious that Yeonjun was pulling every excuse out of his ass in an attempt to not leave his bed. Despite this Beomgyu let Yeonjun get off scot-free, since he really wasn’t one to speak. Even if he did have the energy of a chihuahua that downed a couple of Red Bulls he was also the king of shirking responsibility at the last minute, so he let Yeonjun, his personal jester parading around as a badass, do whatever.

“YAH! Popcorn doesn’t take ten minutes!”

Beomgyu sighed at the lack of response, brushing his arms against the smooth linoleum. Winning the game of rock, paper, scissors gave him the perfect excuse to lie upside down and shout orders.

The only reason he was still hosting movie nights was to annoy his younger friends, and while Taehyun barely reacted Beomgyu knew Kai would play along. Beomgyu started the imaginary timer, keeping in mind how long it took for Kai to respond.

‘Six, seven, eight-’

“I told you to choose a movie!” “Fine!”

Unfurling his body Beomgyu reached for Kai’s dvd case, the tattered smile of Mickey Mouse greeting him on the cover. With everything that had happened in the last year, it was comforting to see that Kai was still lugging it along to every movie night. Though it was none of his business, he couldn’t help but wonder if that dvd case was the reason behind Kai and his bitchlessness. Flipping through it he ignored each movie that revolved around boyhood and romance, which was half the case. Kai was always so soft, it was sickening. Beomgyu had no idea when he started getting so sentimental, but now everything reminded him of the happier days, when they were together. Pushing back that seasonal depression he reached for Toy Story, slotting it into the dvd player his ears pricked up when he heard a car engine.

Peering through the window he recognised the familiar license plates and ran into the kitchen to find Taehyun and Kai placing their big macs and fries onto a large tray.

They weren’t shit friends, quite the opposite actually; they had been on standby for Yeonjun most of this breakup, but even they had their limits. You hadn’t experienced dramatic until Yeonjun was the one being dramatic. They were so thankful that y/n had taken over for them so that they could have some alone time, and yeah, they had been texting him, but technically they hadn’t seen him since his last wave of post-breakup depression.

“Remember if he cries it’s Taehyun’s turn to comfort him.” And with that Beomgyu ran to the door to greet his best friend. Much to his surprise Yeonjun greeted him with a lovesick smile, clutching a plushie to his chest.

“Sorry I’m late, I was caught up in y/n’s eyes” was what he wanted to say but instead he went with a simple “Hey, thought I’d come over.” Beomgyu, still disturbed by the sight before him silently moved to the side waiting for Yeonjun to come inside.

Taehyun and Kai had since made their return to the living room clutching a bowl of popcorn and the tray of food. “Yeonjun!” Luckily Yeonjun was too far into his own fantasy to notice how nervous Kai was. With a wink he tossed the bear to Kai, not even reacting to Kai’s loud shriek as he scrambled to place the tray down in time to catch the bear.

Plopping down next to Beomgyu Yeonjun pokes his cheek with a grin. Somehow this felt even more draining than him crying.

“Hope you’re not hungry, we didn’t buy an extra burger.”

“It’s okay he ate.”

As if on cue all of the boys looked at Taehyun, who was currently slipping some fries into his burger bun. “I saw them when I bought our food.” “Well, shit, I didn’t see you there.” Beomgyu grinned, “Didn’t think y/n was that much of a distraction.” “Shut up, it’s just birthday stuff. Anyway’s it’s pretty much sorted, the party is at her place, show up whenever after six but definitely before eight.”

“Cool, that’s plenty of time for me to meet Soobin.”

The words seemed so casual, regardless, Yeonjun’s ears pricked when he heard that name.

“I didn’t know Soobin was in town.”

“He isn’t. He arrives tomorrow. I promised to meet him.” Yeonjun had always experienced a complex array of emotions whenever it came to the topic of Soobin, it wasn’t like he hated him, Soobin was his friend after all. It was more the fact that the wider public seemed to favour y/n and Soobin rather than Yeonjun and y/n.

When you and Soobin were cast as Mary and Joseph Yeonjun could only sulk as he played the important role of the guy who owned the barn. Even back then he couldn’t help but detest the idea of you two being together, if he could have kicked Soobin out of the barn in a fit of fourth grade rage he would have.

Despite his jealousy Yeonjun couldn’t recall a moment where he treated you like anything other than his best friend. There was no logic in being mad at Soobin for being your date to the graduation formal, Soobin was just repaying the favour after all. It wasn’t anyone’s fault that you and Soobin won cutest couple while he was preparing himself to mourn a relationship that was nearing its end. Despite the degree of self-realisation, he possessed he was still mad. “But he said he couldn’t make it, we were all okay with him not showing I don’t get why he bothered.” The others exchanged silent glances, they knew he had some issue with Soobin lately, but they never thought they would hear those words come from Yeonjun. It was hard to even see where he was coming from lately, after that week of you sleeping at his house Yeonjun had changed drastically.

After thinking it through Beomgyu was finally brave enough to combat Yeonjun’s harsh words. “That’s not your choice to make, y/n said she wanted him here. It was her wish. I don’t know what else to say.” “Wishes don’t always come true!”

“Look I just wanted to watch Toy Story, so you can just go away or be quiet.” Beomgyu pressed play, exhaling when the fluffy white clouds of Andy’s room came into shot. Yeonjun stirred, crossing his arms as he glared at the screen. “It actually is my choice, I’m the one organising the party not him.” Beomgyu paused the movie, clenching both his jaw and the remote. “Stop! Whats the deal? Y/n never asked you to be her gatekeeper, just give it a break.” Before Yeonjun could respond Beomgyu continued his small outburst “You can care for her but give it up, you can dream about having her but she isn’t yours.”

Yeonjun stilled, in his mind the whole room held its breath with him. “Fucking hell, I didn’t think she noticed.” Even if he was confused, Beomgyu used that to his advantage going with the conversation. “She noticed.” Yeonjun placed his head in his hands, freaking out the entire time. “She knows it was an accident, right? It was just a weird time for me, I promise I’m not a creep.” Beomgyu assumed he would be getting an explanation but somehow it took a very confusing turn. “Yeonjun... What did you do?” “Don’t rub it in we all know about the wet dream.” Beomgyu cleared his throat before murmuring under his breath “I didn’t know about the wet dream.”

The realisation had set in “You- oh shit.” Yeonjun paled, so much for keeping it a secret. “Look I wouldn’t take it seriously; it happens to everyone.” Beomgyu grinned “I don’t think I’ve ever had a wet dream about you so I have to call bullshit on that.” Yeonjun caved “Look I felt like shit when I fell asleep, and she was too close, her legs and those shorts.” After his rant Yeonjun looked Beomgyu dead in the eyes “I swear to god if you tell her.” “Why are you targetting me?! What about Taehyun and Kai, they’re here too.”

Honestly, Yeonjun forgot that his other friends were still present. Neither of them had spoken a word since he started his back and forth with Beomgyu. Kai was preoccupied with his bear and Taehyun really didn’t care. “Why should I worry about them when you’re the one with the motor mouth.” “This mouth is zipped, don’t worry about it.” It was slightly concerning how casual Beomgyu was about the entire thing, but now that was off of his chest maybe he was confident that he would be rid of his silly little dreams. Surely.

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

If he didn’t insist that you needed gifts from him you would have just settled for this. The bag of gifts he bought sat to the side, unopened, your focus on the empty space in the middle of your room. There was a delay before the rock music leaked through the speakers and Yeonjun slid in. His studded red jacket and slicked back hair sparkling in the morning sun that leaked through your window.

It was no secret that you had been spending more time with him, as a result you discovered that he really was a performer. His dreams and aspirations were nothing new, in his youth all he spoke about was getting attention for his good looks and charisma. But in a town like this, if you didn’t leave you, were a nobody. And sometimes that hurt you, Soobin was able to achieve great things and that was, well, great but that was because he left. For some reason Yeonjun chose to stay, kissing his dreams goodbye and you just wished he had more.

You would never know this but he felt he had it all when he was performing for you. No audience would ever make him feel this way.

Your gaze didn’t leave his body as it rolled in time with the sultry lyrics.

You red leather rocket, you little foxy queen Everybody's watching, pretty little thing Baby, tell me, what's your fantasy?

It took every bit of strength to not look away from his steely gaze as he swiped his jacket off of his shoulders playing it like a guitar. Your friend was a fiend and you loved it.

His chest was heaving at the end of the routine, his “sexy” stare was broken by a wide grin. He plopped down next to you, taking time to catch his breath before he spoke. “I would ask you what you thought, but going by your face I’d say that was a good birthday present.” I guess.” You chuckled awkwardly trying to hide just how flustered you were. “That reminds me, I think you should open these.” Using his foot to nudge the bag he brought it closer picking it up and placing it between the two of you. “You seem even more excited than I am.” “Enough talking, open.” Yeonjun pushed the bag closer to you. Swivelling yourself around you emptied the bag.

You were surprised, no shocked was a better word. They were beautiful gifts, a music box that doubled as a jewellery box, a cloud lamp, the bracelet...that he stole. But the small pink bullet vibrator rendered you speechless.

“This, no, Yeonjun what the hell?!” Yeonjun broke into a fit of laughter at your reaction “I know, I’m sorry it was too tempting, you were so disappointed by Tae’s gift last year. “Well, haha, funny, now take it back, it’s weird if I keep this.” “First the bracelet now this, accept my love you dummy!” Apparently, this was all just a huge joke to him, which was proved by him snatching the gift from you. “Fine if you don’t want it, I’ll have it. But let me charge it I might want to use it later.” Wiggling his brows Yeonjun crawled across to your bedside table plugging the charger into the socket before slipping the vibrator under your pillow.

The rest of the day was quite uneventful, the vibrator disappeared into the background, nothing more than a faint afterthought. Despite the simplicity of the entire day, everything he did filled your heart an ounce at a time. Especially when he got all domestic, switching to the mature one who meticulously organised a party you would no doubt remember for the rest of your life.

You knew he had it in him, that maternal side that kept everyone in check. His long pink hair was brushed back into a messy ponytail, as he stood with his hands on his hips trying to remember where he should put the last of the balloons. He looked like somebody’s aunt, pretty. You tried to avoid making eye contact with him, hating the butterflies that erupted in your heart. Spending more time with him was a blessing and a curse. Your school-girl crush on him only grew, even though you swore to yourself you wouldn’t pursue someone after Changkyun. Both of you were broken at the same time, and maybe Yeonjun was comfortable moving on but you weren’t ready despite your internal lusting.

Yeonjun noticed the silence, but judging by your face he didn’t want to push it. So, he opted for catching your attention through the fish tank. While you were peering into the tank after feeding them Yeonjun feigned checking the time before crouching down to meet your eyes. Nearly losing balance he steadied himself before motioning for you to smile.

The ringing of the doorbell startled the two of you, while you sprung to your feet to meet your guests while he let himself topple to the ground. His heart dropped at the squeal of excitement you let out, followed by the familiar voice of Soobin.

Yeonjun couldn’t prevent the dry smile that graced his features, in the time spent with you, in a magical world full of domestic interactions he forgot that Soobin would be here. Straightening his shirt he removed the hair tie, patting his pink locks down. He didn’t bother to greet the others, instead he plopped over onto the couch placing a cigarette between his lips, he was going to need it.

The smoking wasn’t the issue, it was the glaring silence. Shortly after the guys arrived the rest of your friends poured in, despite the music and the overlapping conversations Yeonjun refused to acknowledge Soobin. He had barely left the couch, getting another drink seemed to be the only exception. Luckily Beomgyu had lured you away with the promise of finally giving you his gift, leaving the two alone.

“Yeonjun?”

“Soobin?”

“It’s good to see you.” It was always the same, Soobin may have dyed his cotton candy blue hair black, but his endearing nature was still the same. Yeonjun on the other hand clung onto his pink hair, still refusing to give Soobin a chance.

“I actually didn’t think you’d come back; I saw your texts and assumed you had everything you wanted.” That jab didn’t go unnoticed by the other, but Soobin was hardly stupid. Not wanting to play into Yeonjun’s pettiness he smiled carrying the conversation further. “Not everything, is it weird that I miss your chaos? Especially the whole hiding in my house after you pissed off the wrong person. How’s Nali?” Yeonjun’s throat tightened. “You missed a lot, we broke up.” He took a swig of the hitachino and chuckled “But I’m fine, I’m actually seeing someone else.”

For someone who was so skilled at lying Yeonjun had a hard time believing his own words. Soobin was going to question his friend further, but then you and Beomgyu returned, squeezing yourselves into the space between the two. You were completely oblivious to the lie you were currently supporting when you placed your head on Yeonjun’s shoulder, waiting for him to wrap his arm around you. After you had gotten comfortable Yeonjun tapped your shoulder, once your eyes were on him, he passed you the beer. Taking a couple of sips you passed it back to him, though you thought nothing of the exchange Soobin was shocked. He had always held you in a very innocent light, he never understood how someone so gentle and kind could be so close to someone like Yeonjun. He still thought of you as the innocent friend he left a year ago, he never once thought you would ever date Yeonjun. Yeonjun was oblivious to the awkward glances Soobin directed towards him, too preoccupied by the conversation you were having with him and the food Beomgyu had placed on the table. “Thanks man, appreciate it.” Yeonjun reached out to place a hand on Beomgyu’s shoulder both out of love and to push himself forward to grab the food Taehyun had yet to touch. Taehyun blocked the food with his hand, before Yeonjun could start whining Kai passed him his paper plate. Soobin was still confused but he pushed his questions to the side so he could take everything in, it was as if he stepped back in time, to the good old days.

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

Yeonjun’s eyes flutter open, adjusting to his room. The darkness a soothing balm on his sore eyes. He couldn’t recall when sleep had overtaken him, or what he had even dreamt about but his heart felt heavy. Rolling onto his side he sat up a yawn ripping through his entirety. He wasn’t hung over, that much he could tell, but the sick feeling in his stomach had yet to leave him. With no thought into his actions, he managed to walk to the bathroom, still stuck in his drowsy state.

Once in front of the mirror he was able to take everything in, starting with his messy pink hair and ending with the light scratches that trailed up his back. It was pretty ironic, he just had to give a dry chuckle. He assumed that the night he would stop having those dreams would be a cause for celebration, that wasn’t the case. Returning to his room he reached for his phone, greeted by a string of missed calls and text messages from you. He wished his mind wasn’t as selective, he forgot when he walked home, he forgot what he took from his dingy refrigerator and he forgot when he fell asleep. All of this was overtaken by a memory, the one where his dream had become a reality.

He was incredibly sober, which at first seemed like a good idea. Being the other half of your parental duo, making sure that no one started shit or overstayed their welcome. The beer he had shared with you was the buzz that you both needed, so he was fully aware of everything, he knew just how hard he was falling for you in this moment. He distracted himself with the thumping music but once that was over and the only music was the buzzing of crickets while you sat on the roof he was doomed.

“You know Yeonjun, I think we did good. No one died, and we’re both sober as fuck.” “You make it sound like a success, to be honest that just sounds depressing.” “Hey! I said you could drink, that’s on you for being an idiot.” “Do you really think you could have handled your guests if I didn’t step in. You’re too soft.” For some reason that struck a nerve with you “Fuck off.” You followed those words with a chuckle, it wasn’t a serious thing but soft wasn’t a thing you necessarily wanted, it just happened. Some days you would wish you were cooler, which ultimately lead you to come to the conclusion that if you were a badass you definitely would have dated Yeonjun years ago. “You say soft, I say shut up.” Yeonjun pulled your arm “Don’t be like that you know I love you.”

The warm lights cast shadows against his cheeks, hiding the faint blush on his cheeks as you leaned close to his face before springing to your feet. A sinking feeling made its way to his stomach at the thought of you slipping, so in a panic he stood, immediately clasping your shoulder in his tight grip. “Are you sure you didn’t steal a couple more bottles?” You glared at him “I’m not drunk! You’re just a bad influence.” “And? You never complained about it before.” “But that’s why I love you, bad boys are where it’s at, though I don’t consider you a bad boy. You’re too cute.”

That made him falter, he knew how platonic that love was but he also couldn’t even determine why you loved him that much. His life was harsh at times, love wasn’t something he was given, hell he wanted his ex to love him and that didn’t work out, so why were you saying such things? “I think the air is getting to your head” The meaning was lost on you which was shown by your cheeky grin; but he was actually irritated with how bubbly you were. It was too cute.

He managed to predict your next move, grasping your wrist before you could poke his cheek. You sighed trying to yank your hand back but he didn’t let up, looking up at him was enough to erase your bratty frown. His dark eyes were hooded as his gaze flickered from your lips to your eyes and back again. Backing out wasn’t an option anymore. Yeonjun brought your hand up to place it on his cheek, a silent cry for you to kiss him like you meant it.

Every fantasy you had about kissing him was a poor comparison to the real thing. He was desperate and needy, something that would have been rough if it wasn’t for his soft lips. You could have kissed him all night but sadly you had to breath, you placed a shaky hand against his chest pushing him off of you. His lips reluctantly left yours, forcing out a soft whine as he caught your bottom lip between his teeth before finally parting. He was about to complain until he felt your hand slip under his tank top “I never knew you were such a little slut.” It was insane weak your legs had become, as far as you were concerned degradation wasn’t your thing, until Yeonjun made it seem pretty. It was completely unlike you to be so passive, but all you wanted, all you needed in this moment was him. With one more tug of his shirt you were being led off of the roof and into your bedroom.

Any sign of a gentle kiss was thrown out the window as soon as you made it inside. He wasted no time crashing his lips against yours. Lust clouded your vision, and every sense for that matter. You hadn’t even noticed him guide you towards your bed until he pushed you onto the plush pink sheets. Yeonjun towered over you with a pleased smirk, in this moment he was far from the gentle guy who fussed over you every single day, he was better. Yeonjun brought his hands up, pinning your wrists above your head. He casually nudged your legs apart before moving in closer, his lips finding their way back to yours.

Eventually his desperation resulted in him rutting his hardened member against your bare thigh, the rough material of his jeans another thing that you didn’t know you needed. “I know you’re the one losing it but you have no idea how worked up I am y/n. I’m so ready for you.” Never in a million years did you think someone would have this much of an effect on you, but it felt natural to be like this with him. You snaked your hand down to rest against his bulge “It’s kind of obvious, but enlighten me…show me how much you want me.”

His already dark eyes gleamed as they got impossibly darker. In his effort to tighten his grip he pushed a silken pillow to the side, accidentally revealing the small pink vibrator in the process. What had once been and afterthought gave Yeonjun a brilliant idea. Unplugging the device he brought it into his palm, showing it off. “Kiss me if I’m wrong but this is the best gift you’ve ever received.” He moved in closer, lifting your skirt and sliding your panties down your legs. You leaned up to kiss his cheek, catching him completely off guard “What? I can’t say it’s the best gift I’ve received.” “By the end of tonight I’m going to prove you wrong bubs, just you wait.” “That’s what I want to hear.”

The only thing his dreams glazed over was the ability you had to tease him to no end. “Yeonjun, please hurry. Just give me anything.” Yeonjun clicked his tongue “So needy, don’t worry, I’ve got you.” The vibrator buzzed to life; the gentle rhythm was far from what you desired until he pressed it to your entrance. You brought a hand up to muffle the whimpers that he worked from you by tracing the tip against your folds. “So, wet, but I haven’t even done anything yet.” “That’s the problem, stop teasing me Jun.”

The beauty of his smart mouth was that you were pleasantly caught off guard when he pushed the device into your soaking wet folds. His repetitive movements never failing to draw some type of reaction out of you. The overwhelming feeling of you being at your wits end was daunting, there was no way you wanted to cum yet, not without him inside of you.

Trembling wrists gripped at his messy pink hair as you fought against the coil that tightened in your stomach. “Y-Yeonjun stop.” The teasing tone wasn’t lost in his voice “It’s okay, let go for me.” Your grip tightened “No, I want you in me.” Yeonjun remained poker faced even when he pulled the vibrator out, pressing it against your clit, making sure to remove it when he felt your thighs quiver around him.

Call it déjà vu, but he knew exactly how this was going to play out.

Throwing the vibrator to the side he hovers above you, kissing you like his life depended on it. His fingers that were tracing your leg the entire time, remain when he breaks the connection. The tiny whine you let out is music to his ears, it’s his turn to let out a low moan after you reach for his arm, fingertips as soft as silk. His needy baby was always so good to him, so he thought he would return the favour. Yeonjun leans down to place feather-light kisses across your neck. Seeing you shiver under his touch was something he never thought he would witness. He doesn’t try to prevent the words that fall from his plush lips “Ssh, I’ll make you feel good.” You didn’t know it but your response was something that he was all too familiar with.

“I trust you.”

Up until then he had shown just how domineering he could be. So, it was odd to see his faint blush as he removed the rest of his clothing. His slender form pressed into yours as you pulled him into you, resting your forehead against his. Any sickening, romantic words you were about to throw at him disappeared as he removed your shirt, kissing down your clavicle. An easy distraction as he unclipped your bra. “How in the world are you prettier than yesterday?” “You’re so cheesy I-” Your own moan interrupted your playful jab, with good reason too. His tongue swirled around your nipple, refraining from any urge he had to gently bite you. He groped your tits giving them as much attention as he could, somehow, he thought he had enough self-restraint to tease you more.

Pulling back Yeonjun swiped at his mouth just to rest his head in the crook of your neck. His raspy words teasing the edge of your ear. “It’s obvious, but God, are you sure you want this y/n? ‘Cause I want it so bad.” He was already drunk on lust, but your words sent him spiralling. “That’s funny, last time I checked I’ve always wanted you.” In one quick movement Yeonjun pushed into you, stuttering a string of curses when you clenched around him. From the moment he entered you he had built up a merciless rhythm, just falling shy of your sweet spot. “Y-Yeonjun” You rolled your hips into him trying to satisfy yourself. “Is this what you want princess?” Yeonjun’s fingers danced on your thigh as he brought one of your legs up, trying to better the angle. He was acting coy, knowing that if he played out exactly what he had in mind you would be cumming soon.

He wanted this moment to be as beautiful as yourself, so he leaned giving you the last kiss of the night. Something heated and though it was rough, it was dripping with passion. While you were caught up in his everything Yeonjun jerked his hips forward finally giving you what you wanted. The strength of him holding you up and his strong thrusts blended together to rip out a scream that you were withholding. You arched your back, gripping onto his, trying your best to have mercy on him but your nails dug into his back leaving a string of red lines, littered with small crescent indents. “I’m close, Yeonjun” You let your head fall back, “Already? But my pretty little whore you’re doing so well.”

Your incoherent words told him all he needed to know “But let go, I want to see how you look when you cum.” His words were the encouragement you needed to completely lose yourself to him. You tilted your head to the side the pulsing deep inside getting more frequent. “Nuh-uh what did I say? Look at me y/n.” Though he was strict he let that caring side shine through once again “I want to see your pretty e/c eyes.” With a gentle touch he softly cupped your jaw and tilted your head up.

Looking into his eyes you let go letting yourself be engulfed by the harsh waves of your climax. Yeonjun never thought of himself as a needy fool but when your walls fluttered around his cock Yeonjun fell apart, eyes rolling to the back of his head as he came. In the past he prided himself on having enough control to pull out, but he was willing to accept it tonight.Brushing the strands of hair that stuck to your forehead he pulled out, coming to rest at your side.

After the dual panting had died down Yeonjun rolled onto his side. Placing a hand on your hip. “That was amazing. Sorry for going so rough, I hope it was okay.” Yeonjun interlinked his hand with yours “Happy Birthday y/n.”

The night was supposed to end like that, on cloud nine. But he had gotten ahead of him, the after-sex stupor was amazing, he wanted to live in that feeling. Staying by your side until the next day, but he couldn’t. He cared about you enough to delay leaving until after you had fallen asleep, he wasn’t about to share his post-sex guilt with you, you deserved better. In fact, that’s why he left, as much as he pretended to take it in stride, he didn’t want to be your bad influence. You stayed because of his stupid whining, you were a different person when you were around him.

While tracing your features with his hooded gaze it was apparent that despite his dreams and what he wanted to be his reality, you were never going to work out. So, with a soft kiss to your temple, he wriggled out of your soft grasp, replacing himself with a pillow. His heart sunk lower as he watched you cuddle into it murmuring something that he couldn’t hear. And he left.

Yeonjun’s fingers halted before he could press send, after a brief second of hesitance, he just deleted those pathetic words. Your texts were curious and innocent, asking why he wasn’t there when you woke up, and for once he didn’t have an answer. Turning off his phone he placed it to the side, his slow breathing became rapid has he placed his head in his hands, trying his hardest to prevent guilty tears from falling. But that task was nearly impossible considering he couldn’t quite get that late afternoon out of his mind.

“I wish I could love you.”

“I wish you could be my forever”

“I wish you were mine”

✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿ ... ✿°•∘ɷ∘•°✿

~in other words please don’t repost or steal my work as i’m a slow writer~

#choi yeonjun smut #choi yeonjun x reader #txt smut #badboy choi yeonjun au #txt x reader #yeonjun fanfiction #txt imagines #yeonjun imagines #kpop imagines #txt fluff #yeonjun fluff #mdni #not suitable for minors #kpop x reader #kpop scenarios #txt scenarios #txt angst #txt x fem reader #yeonjun x fem reader smut

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jim-kirks-bubble-butt · 11 months ago

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ok ok ok it’s time for my amok time thoughts-

first of all: s p i r k

spock what do you mean your omega heat was resolved by you rolling around in the dirt with your captain??? 🤨

but also just the way kirk was so respectful and understanding about spock’s pon farr and dodn’t make fun of him for it.

can’t believe the 1960’s scifi show had a fuck or die episode which did not result in heterosexuality. truly ahead of it’s time.

and also the way jim and spock were rolling around in the dirt was so gay. no one can convince me otherwise. the way spock slashed his axe thingy (forgot what it’s called) exactly so that it would give jim a tit window??? i know what you are spock.

and of course the biggest moment: JIM :D. seriously what the fuck was that. only time he smiles the wide the whole series (times when he’s under the influence of drugs excluded). homosexuality at it’s finest.

speaking of drugs i find it very funny that the only time spock likes women if either when he’s under the influence or when he’s being mind controlled.

the way spock grabs him and just gives him the biggest stupidest grin. i love spock and spock loves kirk. they are in love you can also see how wide kirk was smiling from the way his cheeks move.

spirk was just so soft with each other this episode, even on vulcan. the way spock was so hesitant to fight him and tried his hardest to convince t’pau even when under the pon farr influence.

the way jim clearly tried not to hurt him through the whole fight,

they make me fucking insane.

anyways

second thing i liked: BONES

i love bones mccoy

spock saying that he’s also one of his closest friends 😭 😭 😭

but he was so smart with the neural paralyzer and i love the way he clearly cares so much anout both of his dumbass friends under his grumpy doctor exterior.

third of all: women

t’pau and t’pring were so powerful and so wonderfully played.

obviously the whole thing with calling t’pring the property of whatever man wins her is very icky but as progressive as star trek was (and still is!), it is a product of it’s time unfortunately.

but besides that, they both just radiated power, and it was so nice to see a woman in a seat of major power.

on another note, stonn has a strikingly small forehead t’pribg i promise i could treat you better.

in my mind uhura wants t’pring (“she’s very lovely mister spock!” i know what you are ma’am.)

fourth: the episode was just. really good.

all of the tension build up before we find out about that spock is basically an omega is masterfully done, and even though i kinda new the plot, i was still sitting on the edge of my seat. incredible.

i also think tbe fight choreography during the gay sex fighting scene was actually really well done, especially when compared to other fight scenes in season 1 (the gorn fight comes to mind).

also the set design for vulcan felt like an actual planet. like usually when they go off the enterprise and onto a planet that’s not basically earth, you can tell that it’s just a bunch of foam blocks, but vulcan was very well made!

the conversation between spirk and kock kirk and spock about “vulcan biology” was very well written and acted in a way that was slightly awkward because of the nature of pon farr, but still felt natural and very in character.

side note: i see online that there’s a lot of people who think that shatner overacts. and i just don’t see it. idk i think he’s really good at playing kirk. i don’t really like the guy, but i like how expressive his acting is.

anyways this was very jumbled but i had a lot of thoughts and yeah.

i too would write the first slash fic in the 60’s if i saw this shit on my tv.

also does anyone know what tag i should use for kirk? i use like 4 different ones each time but is there one that’s more common? same for mccoy.

#star trek #star trek tos #spock #spirk #james kirk #jim kirk #leonard mccoy #first time watching #bones mccoy #james t kirk #amok time #star trek the original series #k/s

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suzteel · 1 year ago

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Ok it’s own post because I am OBSESSED with the bodyguard lunch scene in this episode. It’s like literally my favorite scene. Like…even my face VP scenes don’t top this scene for me.

Ok so god where to start. Let’s just go from the beginning:

Pete’s “Disneyland!🤗” joke is so fucking funny. Especially after looking so annoyed while waiting for Porsche to wake up. (This poor man has probably had to help carry the new guy’s unconscious body twice in like a month. I would be put out too.)

The fucking music shifting from this very light comedic beat to a fucking alarm when Vegas shows up kills me every time. No subtlety at all. This man is a walking red flag and the show wants you to know it 😂

Pete being SO jumpy. So many people have talked about his jumpiness in this scene over the past year but goddamn, it kneecaps me every time thinking about it with the full context of his past.

The fact that Vegas has barely sat down before Kinn shows up. You just KNOW Kinn was in the other room trying to hide his longing stares while he thought about Porsche and so he immediately saw Vegas make his way to the table and was like “oh hell no, bitch.”

One again a costuming note: Kinn in gray robes with Porsche, Arm, and Pol on one side of the table, Vegas and Pete in black on the other side.

This cheese ad is the second funniest ad on the show (after the bread obviously). Bible’s smiles especially are just…insanely funny.

Honestly wish we’d had more Kinn and Vegas scenes. The tension in this scene is sooooo good. I also love how Vegas kind of lights up when he realizes hitting on Porsche genuinely gets under Kinn’s skin. Before that he was just doing what his father asked, but now he smells the blood in the water. And he’s looking to make Kinn bleed as much as he can. I adore him bringing up Tawan here. He’s probably been waiting so long for an opportunity like this one.

TANKHUN WITH THE STEEL PAN

Lord, do I have thoughts about Tankhun in this scene. First of all, 100% big brother protection mode here. He heard that line about Tawan; you can’t convince me otherwise, ok? Secondly, I think it’s the first time we really see the original heir Tankhun come through. He has no fear of retaliation for assaulting Vegas. You know, the scary guy who tortures people for fun. But this is the Main Family territory. It’s Khun’s territory. So he does as he pleases, even to the Minor Family. But the moment Vegas is gone, he shifts right back to spoiled, petulant Khun Nu.

And Vegas…leaves. It’s actually one of those super telling moments about how unbalanced the dynamic between the two families really is. Macau is physically assaulted in episode two, and the Minor Family has to demand the lowly guard who did it be punished (instead of just doing it themselves). Vegas is physically assaulted by Tankhun here, and he has to shrug it off and leave. It’s so easy to see how these kind of little indignities have piled up over the years, festering. The toxicity carried over from their parents.

I just…I love this scene so much. It’s tells us so much about these characters in such a short period of time, it’s so funny and dramatic. It’s delightful. And it was probably THE moment for me when this show went from “eh enjoyable enough” to “ok you got me, I’m hooked.” Fave scene, hands down.

#kprewatch2023 #kpts

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temporarilyunstable · 1 year ago

Text

it's a monster of a ppp essay

Finally writing about this film I’ve pretty much obsessed over for months! Hopefully I can put some order into this but in case I ramble you have been warned lol. Spoilers will be discussed.

I first saw this film in Japan on opening day— prior to that I tried to gather as much information as I could via JP tweets and impressions, especially those of the pre-golden week screening on April 29, then adding more info as soon as spoilers were lifted to increase my understanding. And now a couple of months later, I finally have full context, but really happy that most of the information I got was accurate, and the only details that I had to clear up were related to the more complex elements of the plot, plus the ever-important talk-no-jutsus (tnj) in the film.

If I were to give this film a score, it’s a 9/10. Prior to this, my fave iteration was case 3, being the ever-economic-just-over-an-hour-but-does-everything-right entry to the series. Maybe it’s my Akane bias but PPP just knocked that one right out of the park. The animation was great (I am not well-versed in this so you won’t hear me talk about it much), even if wonky Arata took me out despite the emotion in the scene. Voice acting, no one does it better than the JP actors, I will not be convinced otherwise. It’s my preference and frankly if you’ve never watched this in sub I do think you missed out. The music was TOP-TIER. I’ve not stopped listening to this OST ever since it came out, blessdt Ennio-Morricone-esque Is this your choice, Akane Tsunemori? track #27 CD2?!!?!??! *INHALE*

I can’t actually use technical film critic jargon here so in short, I LOVE this film so much.

A bit of background info from the recent interviews Director Shiotani participated during the roundtables/live stages in JP - the “switching” of the timelines were at the behest of the producers (Fuji TV), including the introduction of new characters, in order to continue the story indefinitely from a TV perspective (link). It was a ballsy move, and in hindsight it paid off, but not without its pitfalls which I will touch on later. PP3/FI was developed during PPSS, and PPP was developed during PP3/FI, so you can imagine the difficulty of making sure the creative team have crossed their t’s and dotted their i’s. That being said, apart from telling the story it wishes to tell, the purpose of this film was to tie the past to the present, and I think that they did it very well.

My thoughts are still evolving, but interestingly enough, most of my impressions haven’t changed. So I’ll talk about some elements of the plot that interest me, then I’ll go to specific characters, and ofc I’ll talk about the ship (not the Grootslang 😉).

There’s a clear three-parts to this film: up to Saiga’s death, up to Atsushi’s death, and Akane’s career death (if it is to be said, so it is lol). Each part had their pros and cons, but it’s quite a feat managing to squeeze all the information in. There was no dull moment for me.

I think the deaths here (especially of the characters we were supposed to care about)— the manner and speed in which they perished, and at a certain point in the film, all for nothing— were part of the point.

Before I watched this with subs I actually thought that it would be more difficult to understand, but I have to say that the nolan-esque expositions were well executed and nicely placed, for example the talk about possession between Kogami and Shion was a good prep for the audience for when we actually get to hear about how it works from Akira. Also a great way to show both Kogami’s detective skills that have not dulled the slightest, and his and Shion’s closeness(?/familiarity? Call it what you want). Another example is the Mika-team essentially telling the audience what’s about to happen prior to us seeing Sugo get things done in the sky (also I forgot he was just flying a drone and was out of harm’s way ehehe). I would say that the hardest parts to piece together have to do with the elements related to PP3, including the involvement of Bifrost. I’ll touch on this later.

I’ve talked about Saiga’s death to my friends way before the first trailer ever released. Him not being present in PP3 was the biggest clue, and not that I wanted it to happen, but it was necessary to raise the stakes and make it personal. As a fic writer, admittedly I’ve never been happier to be right 😅. His scenes with Akane and Kogami at the beginning of the film were standouts. I particularly love how Saiga and Akane are so at ease with having a simple conversation— they’re talking about work but he could so easily talk about his doubts regarding Atsushi, for example. I love how he’s the same with Kogami, how he clearly states his allegiance to Akane, and ofc reminding Kogami to apologize (and something else I picked up that I will discuss later).

I can say that despite the initial ridiculousness of the Divider/possession, the way it was explained was quite convincing to me compared to how they brushed over how Arata’s mentalist skills worked in PP3. Also, there’s kind soul from the JP fandom who attempted to explain how it could probably work irl (link). It’s creepy, if you think about it, and well-documented too. Have a read if you’re interested.

Action scenes, definitely a strong suit of this film - you just know they can’t help themselves sometimes LOL. Kogami v Akira is definitely the best one (RIP Kogami’s balls hihi), and I’ve said this before but they definitely have perfected Kogami’s animation when it comes to fighting, and he is always the most flawlessly animated, however I think they did Gino really well here too. There’s this other really wonky one where Sugo falls down the escalator and it just looks like he’s a solid object and not a human body asdlfkjaskldfj. Honestly I finally understood the critique that the Sugo drone scenes were definitely way too long (I didn’t notice this bec it was hella entertaining when you don’t have subs plus it was super fun if you watch it in 4dx/mx4d).

Really dropped the ball on the Stronskaya Papers imo. I think, for something that was meant to be so important, the exposition regarding its use was really a lazy excuse. “SEAUn essentially proved its value” ain’t gonna cut it. If this is something so important people choose to kill/die for, then the implications of it should have been shown to the audience, not told.

I only noticed after the third subbed rewatch, but to me, everyone is being measured against Akane in this film. I will elaborate later.

Sibyl as an AI

Finally, the little complication about using the term "AI" when describing the Sibyl System. When the first impressions of this came out, there were a LOT of dissatisfied JP fans. Until it was described as such in the film, since the system constitutes actual human brains, then the interpretation is that it is human. I’m not sure if this was a general interpretation btw, but since this is the first time the term “AI” was used to describe Sibyl, ofc it rubbed people the wrong way, especially bec it feels like the whole concept of Sibyl was retconned.

I somewhat agreed with this interpretation— I had always considered the Sibyl System as an independent character in this series, who was meant to be impartial but somehow acts/reacts as a human would— and it's not hard to think so, when you look at the way the system has acted and evolved throughout the show. At times, the system is shown to be curious, greedy, and even cruel. I am ofc talking about them as a whole and not their androids (Kasei, Misako, Chuan Han, Hosorogi, even the dude in Case 2, etc)— individual brains act as human with a CA constitution (so still slightly different from a normal human), that’s clearly shown in the series.

When I read about this through interviews of Director Shiotani, I didn’t quite get the full context as it was used in the film. My initial interpretation was that the system was human, but the mechanisms that make it work (the claws swapping brains supposedly without human intervention, the city/country-wide whole network/surveillance system, the immediate reaction to process a Dominator’s request, etc) were powered by AI. I thought that they used the term AI to update the terminology, since this technology is quickly becoming commonplace irl. Now I've seen PPP with subs and thought a bit more about it, I still somehow think this is the case but also, all things considered, the term AI also makes sense.

Bear with me as I try to break it down. The Sibyl System is a system that is bound by its raison d'être: the greatest happiness for the greatest number of people (very important: not all). To achieve this, it has taken over control of the lives of its citizens via the Psycho- Pass, a quantified measure of mental states/psychological tendencies and aptitudes— a supposedly objective measure. This includes law enforcement, as the system is able to predict an individual’s tendency to commit crime. We also know that the Sibyl system has auxiliary functions, like planning citizens’ lives or recommending the best option for the individual’s happiness, matchmaking, art/cultural/historical/religious control. Its role is very simple: assign the best possible job that one is most capable of (essentially eliminating non-productivity as a society), and through psycho-pass measurements, maintain/execute (criminal) law and order under the PSB. It can be implied that other non-criminal laws can’t be divorced from Sibyl, since its functions make all these possible within the confines of what Sibyl constitutes as “right” (and is implied,) based on the rule of law. Sorta like a chicken and egg situation, but the law, being at the base of it all. Sibyl came into legal force - it is, first and foremost, lawful.

Applying that to the definition of AI, we could say that at its inception, the law would be Sibyl’s code/algorithm, prior research (be it criminal/non-criminal data/aptitude/psychology/physio etc etc) and eventually its actual application is its data set, and the use of human brains as its processing mechanism. If we review how the system has "acted" so far, it's all consistent with the fulfillment of their purpose, EVEN if exceptions, limitations and anomalies exist.

A key concept that has been repeated in the show’s run is Sibyl’s “evolution”, which coincides with the same concept of AI “developing/learning automatically”. If I still have your attention, you will probably know that the main driver of Sibyl’s evolution has always been Akane, be it directly (S1, PP movie, PPP), or indirectly (PP2, PP3). This has been introduced from the start, with Sibyl itself acknowledging its imperfection, but insisting on the need to maintain its perceived perception in the interests of a peaceful society.

What makes it a bit contentious is the fact that the individual brains ARE very obviously still human - so I think that the “the Sibyl System is an AI” really feels off somehow, or at least conceptually feels like it should have been carefully defined rather than left up for interpretation, given what we’ve seen in the series thus far. In any case, here are some references to help you think about it and make your own interpretation.

World Affairs (OffiPro)

Genesis 1-2

Genesis 3-4

Characters - I’m just gonna put this disclaimer, basically if I quote something from the film please just understand that it’s mostly paraphrased.

Akira

Definitely one of my favorite additions to this massive cast. Not the first one to say it but what a shame (he’s so sexy UwU). He’s probably less complex of a character than Atsushi (oh we’ll get to him), since his motivations are not “heavy” enough for me to believe such a sacrifice. He volunteered to be a double agent, burned his face to prevent identification, took on the mental (physical, actually) load of the chips in his brain and for what? For the greater good? Where did we see that anywhere? It is implied that as an immigrant he’s had his fair share of exposure to wars/conflict - we all know this was the same case with characters like Kei and Maiko, for example, but if we’re simply relying on the context of this film, I got the impression that he was merely doing it for his brother.

Things I love:

Dropping the machine gun post shootout with Kogami, signaling that he has no intention to go that far (gonna talk about the other side of this coin in a bit)

RECITING THE GREAT ASO on top of that holo cliff *chills*

In the JP version, his very VERY noticeable voice change when he surrendered to Kogami and Gino

His “please take care of Kei” never fails to make my heart ache T-T AKIRAAAAAAAAAAA

Atsushi (& a bit of Yabuki)

One of the best characters in this film (who no one will invite in their wedding— oh the irony lol). I think that a good baseline from watching PP3/FI really helps appreciate him, though I didn’t actually care much if not for Niki making me notice in PP3 that there are conflicting accounts about him (a malicious one c/ o Obata in her testimony, vs Arata’s POV of him as a good and loving father), plus the more I learned about the complexities of Bifrost the more I got interested in him, too. Atsushi is clearly a morally grey character, and in this film it both comes out of his mouth (as a form of admittance in his speech), and shows in his actions. His speech: "The right choice can be wrong in a different time, that’s because righteousness is relative, but the truth is absolute. What we need is the truth, the means to accept that truth and choose the path where no one gets hurt." is clearly directed at only four people in that room. The speech also served as an admission of his guilt— and once again, the theme “he did what he had to/someone had to do it”.

There’s a line during his interview with Akane where she says “you don’t make mistakes. Everything you do puts you a step further in your career, as if you’re following a path laid out before you.” When she seems to have hit the right line of questioning, he was clearly about to confess, but alas, it was not to be. I remember reading an interview where Director Shiotani said “he doesn’t get to have it easy” and you know what, ok fine.

Atsushi and Yabuki’s approach is, in a nutshell, big picture thinking, the end justifies the means. They make difficult decisions, get things done and can’t avoid people from getting hurt. This is also driven home by Yabuki’s words to Frede “ideals are not enough to bring about change”. (He also said something good about needing that kind of power to exact justice and being prepared for the infamy that would result - help me if you remember this was my takeaway from it). To me, they both represent the kind of people who are about to become obsolete in Sibyl society IF it is heading towards the path people like Akane and eventually, Arata, are aiming for (put a pin on that).

We know that he was a Bifrost Inspector, and interestingly enough, it seems that Yabuki is too since they’re communicating via the terminal we saw Kei use. As is on trend for anything related to Bifrost, you do not see the hands of these guys getting dirty despite all the dirty work they actually do. That said, Akira, Milcia and most likely Saiga, are probably foxes.

Things I love:

I think that he and Tonami, while they must have believed there was no other way at the time, acknowledged that there was no excuse, and as a result are inspired (or in Tonami’s case, persuaded though begrudgingly) to trust the newer generation to do it better than they could. I feel like Atsushi already knew his time was coming the moment the deaths of those he had personal ties with started piling at his door.

His conversation with Kasei/Sibyl: “we’ve been watching you for a while”, implying Sibyl being complicit in all the dirty work he’s had to do. “Do you believe in the potential of humans?” and the response “of course. this is the reason why we exist” — really rubs the god/religious themes here, handing him the gun that will take his life as their parting gift, as if to say “this is your judgment”. I’m gonna touch on this again with Akane.

I’m not the first person to say this but with the exception of Yabuki, who was killed, at the end, Milcia, Akira and Atsushi’s acts were extreme, and I’m just not gonna gloss over this, cowardly. Choosing to die instead of living. Choosing to be absent instead of being present (in his brother’s life, in her daughter’s life). Atsushi preached it to his son (“do not dive without a lifeline”) but not only failed to act on his teachings but continued his approach. You could say it was the only choice at the moment, but all their previous choices led them there, and it’s even worse that they got someone else involved and killed, even if that wasn’t their intention.

HOWEVER, and this is going to be brought up again: someone has to do it, and therein lies the nuance in the other main character in PPP we’ll talk about later.

Saiga

I don’t really have much to add except they made him especially handsome in this film… 😳 And ofc I love that he picked up the lack of people in the building, he really said you can’t hide anything from my keen observation skillz. I loved that he was pretty chill about it too, maybe he was trying to cool down his favorite student 🤗

Things I love:

Akane visited him at 23:41 in the evening, I am assuming on that same day (it’s the time stamp on his laptop, also confirmed by Director Shiotani). I guess the concept of after office hours does not exist bec it looks like they left for Dejima immediately after.

“People aspire for comfort and find themselves unable to escape it, like me” and Akane immediately saying that’s not the case 🥹

Coffee on the lips. Leaning back on the couch. The toast and the chuckle RIP

“She’s not a saint/bodhisattva”: I’ve understood this to mean that she WILL enforce Kogami if it comes down to, hence he better apologize to her while he can.

His very meme-able criticism of Kogami before they got on the elevator

“Well, that was crazy!”

HIM BEING PEAK HANDSOME WHEN HE HAD A KNIFE ON HIS THROAT LIKE?!?!

The desperation and VERY obvious there is no other way here when Akane’s whole body is about to fall just trying to hang onto him

That they muted Akane’s scream when he fell

That she went straight down to him without so much as looking back at the fighting still happening

That she fixed his body 😭

I’m really gonna miss him. I always used to hc that Akane and Kogami would have a moment with him at some point in the future, calling back to their visit to his house in s1 but alas… we can’t have everything we want, huh?

Tonami

AHHHH old man, old man.

My favorite part about Tonami is that they clearly improved on making sure they don’t paint him as an evil guy. They tried to do this with Garcia, but frankly the novel did a better job at making him look more nuanced than the movie did— and that’s saying a lot since like I said, I love case 3. This is probably because they had the benefit of time, of course, and we’re gonna touch on this again later, they spend less time making Kogami look good (i mean, not physically) in this film.

They were very economic with how they portrayed his character, too. With just that one scene of him and the kid, you immediately empathize and are forced to listen to what he’s actually saying. My favorite scenes of any iteration is the “reckoning”/tnj that Akane has towards the end, basically summarizing the thesis of the story, and the questions it poses to the audience. This film is probably the best at presenting the most nuanced argument of the series so far between two sides. Very simple, very straightforward, and the movie’s prior scenes have done the legwork for the viewer to connect the points each is trying to make, like neat little puzzle pieces that make you go oh.

Things I love:

“Don’t forget you were the ones who made me this way.” (mic drop).

Akio Otsuka’s voice acting, especially when Akane was crawling to grab the Dominator. THE FRUSTRATION IS REAL.

This was pretty much confirmed and I’ll touch on it again later: he was not going to kill Akane (link) . I thought this was up for debate at first, but actually after seeing the subbed version I am convinced this was actually not up for debate due to the following:

It was him talking to Kai when he killed Milcia, he asked “You killed her?” and said “You messed up, Kai”

We do not actually see him kill unless there is a purpose. Killing the SAD guys to get to Milcia, killing the SAD guys to get to Saiga. He revived Bokamoso because he needed to get the papers (wasn’t convinced that Saiga really didn’t have it, as already established by Saiga a few scenes prior), and was biding their time when he engaged with Frede & Gino after Kai confirmed the papers were not there, probably waiting for Kai to finish with Kogami (“time is up”). Decided the ops team (Ko, Gino, Frede) needed to die after they were exposed and the safety of the General and Raphael were put in jeopardy.

He shot Akane in the same place he shot Kogami a few scenes prior— this is also why I do not believe this is random, but rather just a means to incapacitate them while he needed to do what he needed to do: possess Kai bec he now knows where the General is and needed him out of there, (unclear whether he knew at the time that Kai had the papers but likely he did since he referred to the memory chip during his first meeting with Akane), and have Akane not bother him while he possesses the peacebreakers in battle).

Shooting Akane again, not fatally wounding her.

Akane’s line “why don’t you just kill me?”. Like, really, why didn’t he? The link above sheds some light on the creator’s vision on this and it’s delicious, lol. IMO, if he had wanted her dead they’d not have even talked. Very simple.

This is not to justify his actions btw, in fact, Akane even called him out “the same wars you helped perpetrate”, and her lichrally saying “I promise to expose the truth about the peacebreakers, but this doesn’t excuse what you’ve done”. Madame Justice said YOU WILL BE JUDGED BY THE POWER VESTED IN ME AS AN INSPECTOR OF THE PUBLIC SAFETY BUREAU ETC ETC

He cares about Kai/Akira (the line to Atsushi “so Kai is your pawn, too?” at the helipad, and his concern about the divider overloading and his reaction that Kai is choosing to die). He clearly cares about the peacebreakers, too. Nuance, man. Delicious.

“You can’t stop what you started here” CHILLS. Definitely reminds me of Kamui’s tnj in S2.

Frede

I have a soft spot for her. She’s clearly more loyal to Yabuki & the MFA than to Saiga, and, judging by her character we’ve seen so far, she’s taking after Yabuki as well 😉

The reason why? #21 in Director Shiotani’s Q&A space last June 15 (link).

So pretty when she was conflicted about not telling Saiga/Kogami about le grand ̶f̶a̶i̶l̶ plan

I like how she calls Yabuki “boss” 🥹

Fave scene when Kogami calls her out for lying to Saiga LOL, I just love that he can just do that and that she doesn’t even bat an eye, I like that about them.

Gino

He’s not my fave, but I’ve grown a bit soft on him here I have to admit. Love that they gave his devotion to Akane more context, and that this whole system of trust between them (and the rest of Div 1) is shown.

He is right, it’s his ego talking (the boat convo). Akane didn’t and isn’t staying/tied to the CID bec of them (Ko & Gino) jeez man. It’s not about YOU. LMFAOOoOOOOooo

Little Ginomika moment, I loved that. Speaking of…

Mika

“This is no time to be playing politician” sis— did anyone ever tell you that you have an aptitude for it? The whole plan about selling them out if they all die so she could save their asses, then actually coming to their aid when it truly mattered? Does your fave ever?!?!?!

While she’s probably the one who has one of the best charadevs in the show, I fear a little that she’s starting to become a gag character, ALTHOUGH i’m arguing that she’s clearly still a writer’s fave with the way they give her critical hero moments when it counts (the whole rock star raid at heaven’s leap in PP3, then this “I got it covered” in PPP). I think Mika best displays the balance required to stay (sane) in this job. She’s able to take on what she needs to, and accomplish the role she’s set out to play, and at the end of the day she probably goes home and has a boba, binges netflix and has a good night’s sleep.

I dunno where I read this - but there are main characters, and there are main side characters. This is Gino and Mika’s fate in the grander story, with their arcs pretty much over since Case 1.

Finally, the good stuff. If this ain’t much of an overly long essay already.

Kogami

Before I go off, my experience is as follows:

When the first trailer of PPP came out, his words “I have no regrets” were so jarring to me. I didn’t quite understand how that was supposed to add up to the Kogami in my head, the hopeful man who was ready to come home at the end of Case 3, and the guy who said sorry at the end of PPFI. This led me to find some answers by machine translating the PP3/FI novels, and the case 3 novel.

In a nutshell, I had thought that the ending of case 3 meant that he was going to turn a new leaf and fight for the same justice Akane was (in short, no killing). Guess what? I forgot that he did kill Jackdaw in PPFI, and the novel pretty much confirmed his actions and thoughts around it (aka, he was really going to kill the guy— I mean, he came into the scene guns blazing, you know? AND I FORGOT ABOUT IT (I call this my akane-tinted glasses 😉).

Another line in Akane’s monologue that cemented my reinterpretation of Kogami, and I was immediately reminded of this passage when Akane sadly spoke to him right after he shot Tonami:

“Believing in the meaning of the stars was something only she herself held, and it was as if she was being told that the stars were just stars by the others she believed to be her comrades. When she began to consider that perhaps it was not the incomprehensible others who were truly isolated, but rather herself, true loneliness arrived. The moment of being cast into the sea of true loneliness, without even the stars or the sound of waves.” (the stars here was implied to be either law, or justice)

It’s been confirmed by Ryo Yoshigami that Akane’s monologues in the PP3/FI novels were written with the plot of PPP in mind— so you all know, this was intentional. The novels really helped me take a step back and assess what I was really looking at as a character, and Kogami’s role in the overall story. I thought he was someone who was on his way to change, I was wrong. I thought that his values have aligned with Akane, again, wrong. Now I know what some of yall are gonna say, that you didn’t misinterpret him. Sure, this statement isn’t for you then. BUT don’t lie to me, those who DID. 🤪

As for the rest, go read and form your own opinion (PP3 Novels)

Kogami’s sense of justice

As a main character of the series, Kogami’s journey has been up and down, but one thing that’s consistent about him, in the simplest terms: his justice is personal. Whether it’s one of revenge, which he had closed the door on post case 3, his inability to turn away from injustice, and in PPP, his acceptance and taking responsibility of what he stands for, and what he can do.

In the beginning of Case 3, he was making an effort to avoid killing— even using it as a condition for cooperating with Kinrei on the raid in the train station. This was during a time when he was clearly at a loss of what to do, still swimming in his regrets and just letting himself go in whichever direction life takes him. Come the end of Case 3, we see his hopeful decision to return, and, in PPP, clearly stated during his convo on the boat, his reasons. He did not come back to die, but to help people. This is essentially an explanation of his choice and lack of regret that he failed to explain properly to Akane, but if it wasn’t clear yet, this is also where the lines have been drawn between the two protagonists, interestingly enough, since the beginning of the series. Akane’s sense of justice is directly tied to the law, whereas Kogami’s does not (and, I think a moot point to argue now, will never).

He does what he does because it’s what he can do. The difference between Kogami S1 and Kogami PPP/PP3 is that he’s found a purpose/place that aligns with his sense of justice. He owns it, and takes full responsibility for it. It’s a facet of growth, though probably not in a direction that would bode well for him if he fails to look from above, as was Saiga's last words to Akane. I can take this apart in a few ways, firstly, and especially towards his “belief” in Akane, he’s a hypocrite (LOL). Says one thing, does another. Wanting to be judged after the fact is like, are you kidding me, man? Right in front of the blood of someone she just tnj’d “you will be judged according to the law”?!?!?!!

Let's take a break, I’ll throw him a bone.

He simply cannot turn away from injustice and would rather get his hands dirty than allow others to get away with their crimes

This is a great callback to his time with Garcia “you hesitated, and now someone’s dead.” See? Charadev. (I’m being sarcastic). It must suck for him that though he didn’t hesitate, Saiga is still dead.

To me, he’s started walking forwards post case 3, and while he still regrets everything he did before that, he’s left that behind to fulfill a new purpose in his life

In this scene specifically, he would rather kill than have Akane be killed.

Very personal, very short-sighted, very impulsive, reactive sense of justice. That he agreed with what Tonami had said, for all that talk of his belief in Akane, he’s a funny ̶l̶i̶t̶t̶l̶e̶ guy, isn’t he?

I’ve always argued that if his aim was that good (and again, Tenzing commented on this, he CAN shoot to disarm someone), then why didn’t he? Kogami in PPP, in every scene, operates on a shoot to kill. I’m no longer here to apologize for the guy, even if he did, three years too late. I think that it helped me come to terms with their differences, and this is fundamental. Don’t get me wrong, I still like his character, maybe even more now that we’ve learned quite a few things about his… shortcomings (lol), but I’m not gonna make excuses for him in the same way he doesn’t make excuses for himself. He chose. He still chooses to. Cool motive, still murder.

Where this will lead him, it’s been alluded to in the film. Tonami is what a misguided Kogami could become, and even Saiga clearly reminded him of it. That’s a matter for his future, but know that this movie is sowing seeds the creators may decide to reap someday.

Things I love :

He got his balls kicked!!! Love that for him 🤣

Used to complain about how lousy his shirt looked is in pp3 and whoooaa he took the jacket off and I'm sweating

WET HAIR

TACTICAL GEAR

The PP OST and the dominator UI, before he takes his first shot *chills*

Despite all my beef about him, I still really do love the guy. Now I just dunk on him every chance I get, it's fun. And ofc, I still have a tiny bit of hope about his future, and I’ll be holding him to that standard, otherwise yeah, he can die in a ditch (or if we’re going there, he can die whilst leading an uprising to destroy Sibyl) 😉

Akane

So when I said earlier that everyone is being measured against Akane, I really meant it. She had taken a back seat since the PPSS films, and in PP3/FI the whole mystery surrounding her imprisonment was an invisible hand driving many elements of the show. PPP is HER film, and as a character, her continued relevance to the series' thesis cannot be discounted.

“The law doesn’t protect people. People protect the law.”

If Kogami was consistent about his sense of justice, she is even more so. What makes her leagues above him is that she’s driving change, and change DOES happen in the manner that does not allow her to break her principles… that is, until the end of PPP 😉. I’m not going to elaborate on her sense of justice, it’s pretty straightforward even if the series likes to throw stones at it as if following it is the hardest thing in the world. What makes Akane stand out is that it's actually not hard. Look, ask yourself whether it’s easier to kill another human being or not— I’m not talking about exceptional circumstances, but even then, I think you know the answer— there’s a moral and ethical basis here that she shares with a great number of people. Killing is wrong, it’s against the law to take another life. To me, the point of each iteration is to keep stacking odds against her through characters, each with their own complexities and nuance that the audience is made to empathize with and contrasted to her sense of justice, resulting in making it look like her principles are ideal and impossible to achieve, when actually, they're not.

One of my favorite lines of the film, when Tonami says to Akane, “these are the facts that lie in the shadow of the peace that you enjoy”. Let’s be real. Akane is privileged. She’s not had to fire a gun to defend herself in a war torn land— but the argument against this is the same argument for it— it’s because she doesn’t have to. Kogami is back in Japan, it stands to reason that he must adhere to its laws, because despite his experiences abroad, he is not and will never be above the law.

I’m gonna touch on something I already discussed on twitter, because there’s a difference between the way Kogami has killed, versus the way Gino and Sugo have.

As far as the series has shown, the following are Sibyl-sanctioned “killing”, the last one specifically relates to PPP:

As judged by the Dominator (LE/DD)

In cases of national defense/during the execution of duties as members of the NDF

In cases of self-defense in the course of an official operation

It stands to reason that just because they are sanctioned does not save the person from their hue deteriorating, because that part is directly related to a person’s view of guilt. Throughout the show, the audience is constantly reminded that the act of (indirectly) killing does not necessarily impact one's hue (e.g. the PP of the person who manufactured the gun is not the same as the person who fired it, the whole premise of the foxes in PP3, etc), hence the "guilt" associated with the act falls on the person who does it, which may result in a higher cc. A person is able to absolve themselves precisely bec they know they're doing it within the confines of the law, but this doesn’t always follow (e.g. Sugo’s hue deteriorating in Case 2). There's a good example of this in action during Akane's operation in PPP, when Tonami issues the order to kill, and the team, who had been disarming/arresting everyone a few minutes before, was left with no choice but to defend themselves, often resulting in a kill.

While the Peacebreakers were able to hand over this guilt to Tonami via the Divider, Gino and Sugo could not. At the start of the film, they only used the guns when the Dominator was not functioning. The difference with their actions in the last third of the film is they participated in an unsanctioned operation with Akane, have killed as a result and are now likely above regulation. Had no idea the words “once the hounds have thrown away their collars, public safety will never tame them again” also served as foreshadowing as this is probably why Sugo and Gino were requested for transfer to the SAD. And if you’ve been paying attention, you’ll notice that Gino actually gets the job done with fewer bullets than Kogami does. Kogami, from the start, comes into the scene, kills all his enemies on sight without hesitation. This is a huge difference, and this is what Akane is trying to keep him from defaulting to. Violence to fight violence was not the answer, but they clearly do not align on this. It’s a perspective thing. 😉

So why did she do what she did?

In principle, she made herself an anomaly, directly challenging the decision to repeal the law, by committing a crime in public while not having her PP deteriorate. In short, she pretty much broke the law to protect the law. So how did she objectively know that her plan would work?

I had a few discussions on twitter surrounding this, and frankly the “she knows she’s doing the right thing, not for herself but for the greater good” doesn’t cut it for me, nor does the premise of “leap of faith”. To do this, she HAD to have known with certainty that her hue would not deteriorate because if the dominator suddenly activates for her, then it was a pointless act, and more importantly, she was fully aware (as stated in the PP3 novels) that she was committing a crime.

There are cases to be made of course, the first being she knew that Kasei is merely an android and that Akane avoided shooting the brain (effectively keeping Kasei alive), but that still doesn’t establish the fact that Akane does not absolve herself of the act, and again, that she needed to objectively know this would work. This is theory time, but the only thing I can think about are two specific things, one in the film, one not.

Defying Sibyl orders to enact her own operation in the Kuril Islands - this is directly disobeying Sibyl, using her Chief Inspector authority to assign temporary roles to Kogami and Frede so they could participate, loading the Stronskaya Docs to her Dominator and giving it to the General, all these, unsanctioned and should have at least raised her PP. My guess is, in the aftermath, she noticed that it had not, despite the scale and the effort and potential losses had things gone wrong, and decided that was enough to go ahead with the “answer” she found for herself.

She had to have procured a gun. This was not in the film - but procuring the gun establishes her intent/motive, and should have also raised her PP - my guess is it did not. This would have been sufficient, but you can imagine, until the point of carrying the gun to the venue (probably hidden inside her hat), the fact that she wasn’t flagged basically made it certain her plan would not fail.

In the June 25 roundtable (link) , Director Shiotani wished that if he had 3 more minutes to add, he would have added a scene right after Atsushi’s death where the men in the roundtable ultimately decided to proceed with the abolition of the law. In hindsight, I think adding this scene would have been better, because it takes away room for interpretation that Akane was actually in a desperate situation, and not just frustrated at the close of the case. In the movie, this was supplemented by Kogami’s line “what Tonami said is probably going to come true, the law will likely be abolished.” Not as desperate, if you ask me.

Deviants

The difference between Akane and Atsushi is that, Atsushi, in his capacity as a double agent and methodology as a Bifrost inspector, is like a puppet master holding the strings, indirectly enabling change and leaving mere traces of his impact while others either take full credit (or fall) from it, whereas Akane pushes change by directly challenging Sibyl head-on. We have yet to clarify Atsushi’s motivations in rising the ranks of Bifrost (he was alluded to be on the way to being a congressman or that he had the talents for it), and the fact that he’s played double agent for so long with his methods steadily growing shady over time just goes to show that there was clearly a better way (and he ofc acknowledges it).

In the same way a CA can only be recognized by Sibyl by committing crimes OR if a Dominator was wrongly pointed at them, Sibyl becomes aware of these deviants (I’m gonna call them that) the moment they start defying Sibyl while being able to keep their hues clear. Perhaps Atsushi would be an imperfect version of a deviant, Akane the better one, and Arata probably the ideal despite being CA, sort of like Genesis 3-4’s Makami Sou. It would be interesting if Akane becomes APA, let’s see (read the Genesis links above 🙂).

“Do you believe in the potential of humans?”

Post-op Akane was forcibly promoted to Atsushi’s role (iirc, a Department Head of Statistics in the Ministry of Welfare c/ o Steohsama's translation). I think it can be read two ways: one, in the context of the recently closed case, to get her fully out of the way and busy with other, bigger stuff that she was already dipping her toes in prior to Atsushi’s death (referred to during their convo, about her not “making a fuss”). Two, that she really did have the aptitude to be someone like Atsushi— only that her methods would clearly be different. Now that she’s back in the CID, there’s obviously a question of Akane’s future as a statutory enforcer (fun fact, the creators pretty much confirmed that it’s just a name for someone judged according to the law but whose PP did not deteriorate / someone who was appointed as an enforcer whose PP is below regulation ( link / link ). If Hinakawa will be promoted to an Analyst, then there’s a spot open for her in Division 1, assuming she’ll be playing detective. While I think this is likely to happen, I think it’s a boring outcome for her. Like Atsushi, I want her to move up in the world, especially if the world is gearing towards Sibyl going public. It’s going to be interesting what role she’ll play in the future, especially because, as Niki had so nicely put, “she can’t do this alone”.

Oh, Koaka.

Objectively, I no longer think the ship is romantic in canon. I’m gonna copy-paste some thoughts I already shared at length in discord and edit parts of it, but if you’ve seen me the last few months, this isn’t new.

This is nitpicking, because I'm a writer and facts like they don't know each other, not really (they spent not more than 100 days in s1, maybe a few days in PPP) are things that are at the back of my mind always. I have yet to see Kogami and Akane treat each other more than the pedestals they put each other on (arguable for Akane but I think this is also why she keeps getting disappointed that their sense of justice doesn't align).

This divide between their sense of justice is their biggest flaw as a potential couple, and one that is too fundamental. I do not see compromise here, especially after the events of PPP. If Kogami were to gear towards a positive change, then there’s hope, but I leave very little room for that now. I don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing, either. I see it as a potential stance that the show is trying to make. “You murdered someone, you can’t go back.” If he had been heading towards change it should have been on the way for a while, not a “possibility” that he keeps failing to live up to. Getting over this hopeful assumption took me a while, but I think that it also helped me appreciate the wider story being told.

That being said, I think that romance in stories is important and I would like to see the writing team go there, not just from a shipping perspective but from a storytelling/amping up stakes perspective. In PPP I felt how Gino was much, much closer to Akane, and I didn't see this previously. In the past he was more like a controlling dad esp in s2, undermining Akane's POV, improved a bit in the pp movie though he still felt a bit on the overprotective i know better than you side (nicely resolved in ppp where we see a piece of his mind btw)— there's a whole lot of trust there. With Kogami and Akane, while they cleared the air after the infirmary scene, once again I saw that trust shaken when he shot Tonami.

These characters are depicted as human beings, and I think that entails grounding. While meaningful connections can be made through short moments (destiny, if you will), relationships built over time like literally and not let's have a nice moment in a film i'll see you next movie kind of thing, is something that, to me, means more. That said, Kogami was separated for a long time and it's lichrally impossible, but they're in the same place now. Where does that lead them? This is where part of my hope lies, small as it may be. Granted, this is not that kind of show and I'm fully aware of that, which is also why I'm happy to get what we get and that artists/fic writers are there to fill those gaps.

I still ship them but a lot less— I find it funny because even before PPP, I was always looking for more (I'm greedy haha!). I always saw the PPFI scene as just the beginning of their relationship— I wasn't convinced that scene was enough, despite the romantic undertones. And let me tell you the betrayal I felt when I found out the reason why they did the whole back to back thing in PP0308 was because... IT WAS AWKWARD FOR HIM TO CROUCH DOWN THE LITTLE WINDOW OF HER CELL and not the little romantic shit I had going on in my head— I just ( ╯°□°)╯ ┻━━┻

I went through the five stages of grief but at the same time it's not as bad since it's not like I didn't think that way from the start (it's just me being anal about it all, really. Because I would end up writing whatever I wanted anyway and canon didn't really matter in the grand scheme of things).

I do like their dynamic now given the recent developments, Kogami especially being particularly unskilled in the romance department just makes it all the more funny (I'm not capable of writing him that way though so I guess all my fics are ooc now 🤣). If they don't develop past the Arguably Platonic™️ way they treat each other then I won't be surprised if I stop creating for the ship, likely bec it will no longer satisfy my enjoyment of it.

Final Thoughts

I think it’s pretty much confirmed we’re getting more, it’s just a matter of when (can’t believe I’m staying here forever, huh?). Director Shiotani wishes that he will be making PP in the next 30 years, gotta love him for that.

As the series progresses, there was a clear tonal shift and hopeful direction it seems to be heading towards. To me this is partially because in a practical sense, this benefits the prolonging of the show (which we already know is true), but in a thematic sense, destroying Sibyl means the end of the series overall. No Psycho Pass without the Psycho Pass. And to this I give credit where it’s due. This is not the kind of progress you’ll see if Urobuchi is still in the writer’s room, and frankly, the complexity and depth of the show ever since he left has pretty much taken off in great strides. I had wished they were heading towards a natural conclusion (Sibyl going public) and leave it alone for a decade before they pick it up again, but I guess the producers have other plans. After all, they don’t have any other IP that has withstood the test of time, is ahead of its time and continued to remain relevant as time went on. While not perfect, this is an amazing feat of a series, and this movie is a stellar addition to it.

They’ve got a dilemma of course, because until now it seems they went with a serialized format (with a definite ending) versus an episodic one (criminal of the week). By choosing to expand the world and explore other facets of society, all the while connecting the threads in an overarching plot, they have to complete the “passing of the torch" before going back to an episodic format, which means they MUST give the new kids their time of day,̶ a̶n̶d̶ ̶e̶x̶c̶u̶s̶e̶ ̶m̶y̶ ̶a̶s̶s̶ ̶f̶o̶r̶ ̶a̶ ̶s̶e̶c̶,̶ ̶b̶u̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶y̶ ̶h̶a̶v̶e̶ ̶t̶o̶ ̶c̶o̶m̶p̶l̶e̶t̶e̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶l̶i̶n̶k̶s̶ ̶b̶y̶ ̶e̶x̶p̶l̶a̶i̶n̶i̶n̶g̶ ̶w̶h̶a̶t̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶h̶e̶l̶l̶ ̶i̶s̶ ̶t̶h̶e̶ ̶d̶e̶a̶l̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶S̶h̶i̶z̶u̶k̶a̶. Shifting the timelines allowed them to usher in the new cast, but now they’re marketing the legacy cast and have to contend with their obvious popularity compared to the new, fully knowing that the legacy cast is returning to the back seat once we kick things off again. This is a problem that can be solved if a spinoff is decided for SAD, because at least a chunky (huehue) part of the cast will be cordoned off doing their business in Dejima, while the CID with its usual players can stay where they are. I think if you’ve been following Director Shiotani though, this is not happening without him in the driver’s seat, so it’s like… if they’re smart he will delegate this task to someone he trusts and we’ll get both a main and a spinoff, then a converging point somewhere in the form of a movie. 🎶Psycho-pass forever!🎶 (to the tune of Emilia Clarke "best season ever" GOT S8 interview, iykyk).

Finally, I’m just gonna say that I love Akane so much, I’m glad she got the spotlight on her in this film. To be able to experience this film is unforgettable, I’m so grateful that it was possible for me. I’m training myself to expect she’ll take a step back next time I see her, but more than anything, I hope to see her happiness fulfilled, no matter what that entails. Once more, I just can’t thank these creators enough. They’ve made a series and a world I’m obsessed with, makes me think and makes me evaluate its implications in real life, makes me create!!!!! I’m so happy that they continue to believe in the stories they want to tell. I hope they are all healthy and resting now (until the next one, eheh!)

I’ve talked way too much and it’s really just because I want this out of my plate so I can start writing my fics now lololol. If you made it this far, thanks for reading! Always happy to discuss!

#psycho pass #psycho pass providence #pp #akane tsunemori #kogami shinya #ginoza nobuchika

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sheetsonfire · 2 years ago

Text

Free Will

Fandom: Chicago Med

Pairing: Will Halstead x Reader

Genre: angst, hurt/comfort, romance

Word Count: 6462

Summary: Will makes a decision that throws everything the reader thought they knew into question. Where will the road take them?

A/N: This is part of @resanoona's #resa.3kfiestabingo! I'm using this fic to fill the "Hurt Feelings" square! Thank you so much @resanoona for reading, suggesting and correcting my tired ramblings!

I'm so sorry it took me literally two weeks to get this fic done, but hopefully, the size makes up for it! Happy reading!

Sometimes it’s easy to convince yourself of something until reality so starkly and irrefutably proves otherwise. So the night you see Will kissing Nina Shore from pathology, in the middle of Molly’s, it hurts possibly more than you thought it could.

There had never been an official relationship between you and Will, but the both of you had become closer of late - a shared routine, the hangouts on off-days, the conversations you would share in quiet moments on shift, and the post-work drinks at various bars around the city had started to feel a lot like dating.

A year’s worth of getting to know each other beyond colleagues and now you weren't sure what you had to show for it.

You weren’t naive to the fact that a close friendship could be just that and nothing more. In some ways, you were okay with its platonic nature, yet Will always looked at you with such intensity and interest that you could have sworn it to be something else.

In fact, that night at Molly’s Bar was going to be the night. After multiple consultations with Maggie, April and even Connor who had chipped in with his encouragement, you felt ready to ask Will whether there was actually a chance of more.

Sometimes you considered asking Jay, Will’s brother, for his input on the situation but you were always afraid of the answer. There was always the possibility that Jay could tell Will and you hadn’t been ready for that complication either.

So, you were in the bar, wandering off from the large gathering of Med, Fire and PD friends, who had pushed tables together. They were well into their merriment of earned rest and you had decided it was time to visit Herrmann at the bar - liquid courage was definitely needed for what was coming next.

You smile brightly at the older man who gives you a wink, grinning at the sight of your familiar and friendly face. You were happy to wait patiently for him to be free to serve you, he had always been a source of wisdom and encouragement for you - one of the kindest people you knew.

Eventually, Chris makes it to you, a bar towel slung over his shoulder, “What’s up, Y/N, what can I get ya?” He waits for an answer, tilting his head curiously as you smile sheepishly. You're tapping your fingers on the counter as you measure your words.

“Hey Chris, can I get whatever will get me buzzed the fastest?”

Chris laughs, nodding, “Sure, Y/N, can I ask why?”

You knew that question was coming, and you cleared your throat.

Feeling the heat creeping into your cheeks, casting a brief look back at the table where everybody was sitting, laughing and engrossed in different conversations. You could see Nina shimmying her way around Connor to sit where you had sat next to Will.

Watching the scene with a jolt of irritation, you see her pressing up close to him. The conversation already seems intimate, and you can’t look away. Only brought back by Herrmann’s gentle call of your name.

“Sorry, Herrmann…Um, I was going to, uh, ask Will something important, I need something to quieten the nerves before I chicken out.” The words come out, but you can already feel your mind changing direction, the urge to abort the plan was growing fast.

Herrmann nods, holding his hands up in understanding, “Say no more. Good luck to you, kiddo.” Grinning as he pours you a few shots, he always was a champion for the romantic.

You hold out the shots to Chris in a ‘cheers’ gesture before knocking them back one after the other, feeling the liquid burn as it makes its way down your throat, a heat beginning to thrum in your veins. This was exactly what you needed, for better or for worse.

With the shots down and the confidence blooming in your chest, you say your farewell to Chris and start to shimmy through the crowd back to your table. You’re just passing where Matt Casey and Kelly Severide are sitting when your eyes lock onto an unwanted sight ahead of you.

Nina’s arm is looped snugly around Will’s waist, and he is the same in kind. You watch as he leans down to listen to something she’s saying, concentrating on her words over the hubbub of the bar, it makes him turn to smile at her.

From your position, you can even see the mischievous twinkle in Will’s eyes, and like a slow-mo car crash you feel your stomach drop as Nina leans up and Will leans into a kiss.

You’re frozen. Your trance was only broken by Casey’s concerned call of your name.

You blink, willing yourself away from the sight of your best friend making out with someone else. Turning to see Matt and Kelly watching you carefully like you were going to disintegrate at any moment.

“You alright, Y/N?” Kelly asks, standing from his chair to move closer to you.

There’s a ringing in your ears, and the full rush of embarrassment threatens to consume you, even if nobody else knew what you were thinking or how you felt. You felt transparent.

Eventually, you bring yourself to answer the firefighters, pushing a smile onto your face. “Yeah, I’m good, guys. Sorry, I just remembered I’m late for something else. Tell the others I’m sorry I had to go?” You ask hopefully, not at all in the mood to show your face again at your corner of the large gathering.

They nod, wishing you a good evening, and telling you to be safe. To which you nod back, reassuring them that you would be fine and that you would see them soon.

Ducking your head as you turn around toward the door out of Molly’s, offering Herrmann a half-hearted smile as he watches you leave, feeling sad that he would know your plan had gone awry.

Then, you were gone.

Unbeknownst to you, Will had not been pleased when he discovered your absence through Casey and Severide. It wasn't annoyance, but rather concern.

He got a sinking feeling when he found out you’d gone home, in the back of his mind he started to worry that you’d seen the kiss between him and Nina. On paper, he had no reason to fear that possibility, and yet it nagged at him.

You'd never expressed an interest in Will, and he had been desperate to not be too forward with you, he never wanted to give you the impression that you were a rebound or a distraction after Natalie.

If pressed, he would admit that his thoughts on being with Nina weren’t the soundest or most logical, yet he didn’t know what else to do. With Nina there was something to the dynamic that never got too deep, it never scared Will as it did when he thought about having something with you.

He knows it’s not fair to you or Nina to think that way, yet here he was. There was too much to lose by asking to date you, your friendship was cherished by him and it had to be protected.

Will messages later that night, asking if everything was okay. He wasn’t sure if you would answer at all, but the “Yeah, all good. Just forget I had something I needed to do. See you Monday!” went some way to quiet his worry.

Even if the seeds of doubt continued to grow.

[5 Months Later]

It had been an extra layer of sucky when you discovered Will was not only dating Nina but also moving in with her. Ever since that night at Molly’s, you had done your resolute best to act normal, to not freeze Will out or feel resentful.

He had asked a few times if something was wrong or if something had happened, but you didn’t have the heart to tell him the truth - what point would there be to hearing him tell you he wasn’t interested in you like that? It was easier to play it as cool as you could, being happy for Will like a good friend should.

Being invited to the housewarming was a real test of your resolve, however.

It was gone 7am at Med, the 7:30 shift was due to start rolling in at any moment, and you were wrapping up your patient notes from the night before.

Maggie was hovering beside you, she had come to investigate whether you were going to the Halstead-Shore housewarming, to which you’d pulled a face and she understood.

“Did you ever ask him if it was something more?” Maggie asks cautiously, trying to help you not feel so utterly rejected by someone who apparently didn’t even know they were rejecting you.

“No…I didn’t…but, oh Maggie, I’m still in shock at how I’ve got this so wrong.”

“Honey, you’re not an idiot, there must have been something there, alright? That man is like a brother to me, and I more than know his capability to charm. I've been trying to steer him right for years, but his dating game and communication skills aren’t always to the standard of his doctoring finesse.” Maggie smiles sympathetically, wrapping an arm around you with a small squeeze.

The charge nurse had offered to intervene a few times, but you didn't think it was fair to drop that on Will just because you didn't want someone else to have him.

You sigh, resting your head on her shoulder. Watching discreetly from behind the pillar at the nurses' station, Will passes Nina her coffee and kisses her cheek, no doubt promising to share lunch with her later.

You resist the juvenile urge to make a gagging sound and gesture with your fingers in your mouth.

Then, Will turns to move in the direction of the nurses’ station to get to the on-call room. You hastily disperse from Maggie’s comforting embrace and busy yourself with a computer, pulling up your last patient’s records, scrutinising them as if your life depended on it.

Breath held, eyes downcast, you dare not look as you feel Will’s approach, his fiery copper hair visible from the corner of your eye.

You type some sporadic notes at the bottom of your patient’s file, making a mental note to yourself that under no circumstances would you save the incoherent spiel once you were done avoiding the redhead.

Yet, there’s no such passing of the moment, Will makes a direct approach to you, a smile on his face as he watches you “concentrate.” His palm is warm on your back as he greets you, a cheerful tone to salt your wounds, “Good mornin’, Y/N.”

There’s a battle within to avoid sighing too loudly, you search for composure as you lift your head with a painted smile. “Morning, Will.”

“You’re here early?” Will queries, apparently convinced by your performance.

“Late, actually. I got called in to cover a shift, now my cover is a no-show, so now I’m taking my one.” Will frowns with a nod, knowing what was coming next.

He hadn’t been totally oblivious to the change in your mood lately, he just wished you’d get mad or say something, the silence was worse.

The more time passed, the more the sense of a moment missed weighed on him. He wished he could have put aside his fear and come right out and said “I love you!” all those months ago, but then after that night at Molly’s things had taken an altogether different turn.

With Dr Shore it was different, she had been a friend and a colleague too, but if Will was being honest, he knew it didn't ground him or scare him like his relationship with you did.

Between him and Nina, they understood the casual and mutually beneficial nature of being together, of sharing an apartment, and they had both agreed that they would take it as easy as possible.

You grimace, looking for absolution. “I’m really sorry, Will, I won’t be able to make it for your housewarming, I’m gonna need some shut-eye once this day is over.”

It’s the best excuse to not go to your nice new place and watch you be domestic and loved up with someone who isn’t me. You think to yourself, smiling apologetically.

“It’s alright, Y/N, it can’t be helped, we’ll miss you though.” He smiles too, a sadness settles in his eyes and you do feel a slight pang of guilt. It was for the best though, you decided.

He could spend the evening with his girlfriend and enjoy himself, and you could be spared from that. Your eyes struggle to steel themselves into an expression of unbothered and normal, Will catches a flash of it.

He squeezes your shoulder, trying to ignore the mantra of his own internal voice, the one that told him he had a mistake with you and, consequently, a mistake with Nina.

He couldn’t afford to think that now, not even if he wanted to.

“I better, you know…” He gestures to the on-call room, needing to put his stuff away and change into scrubs.

“Of course, yeah, you go ahead. See you in a bit.” You shoo him away, watching with a gnawing sensation in your gut. You couldn’t avoid this forever, you would have to face it head-on at some point.

However, as cruel fate would have it, as it often does, your replacement chose that moment to announce themselves. Dr Kumari had resolved their engine troubles with the help of a passerby, so here they were to relieve you of your double shift.

You had tried to somehow find a way to prevent Will from finding out, but that was impossible as soon as Dr Kumari had made themselves known and he had seen you with your coat and bag.

“Oh sweet, that’s great. Get some rest and we’ll see you later?” Will asks, hopefulness renewed. Maggie glances at you from across the nurses’ station, that sympathetic look was back as she offered an encouraging thumbs up.

You wanted so badly to find another way of squirming out of the obligation, but you weren’t looking to be an utter asshole to Will, he clearly valued your presence at this housewarming and, after all, you were still friends.

“Yeah, for sure! See you later, 7pm right?” You check, ignoring the cold thrum of anxiety that had started to tingle in your veins.

“Yep, 7pm, let me know if you get stuck finding us, our street is a little weird.” Will smiled, Cinderella could go to the ball and Will was elated to hear it.

You nod in acknowledgement of what he was saying, saying one more goodbye before turning towards the exit, letting yourself walk a considerable way out of Will’s eye line before exhaling defeatedly.

Now you’d need to buy some wine or a plant.

Despite your reluctance to even go to the housewarming, you had meandered into an ‘oddities and thrift’ store on your way home and found some gifts for Will and Nina. The store’s name ‘The Past and The Curious: Chicago Thrift’ had totally tickled you.

After being in danger of spending a whole shift’s worth of time in the three-storey building full of trinkets and history, you had stumbled across a few items that you thought would be cool to give them.

One was an old 50s dartboard that had both a traditional format on one side and a baseball format on the other; you knew that Will enjoyed a game of darts, and you were pretty sure you’d seen Nina outdoing a fair few colleagues at the bar on several occasions.

As an extra, you had found a vintage Cubs pennant you thought would make for good decor. Satisfied with your treasures you settle up with the elderly woman who sat at a counter that looked like something out of the Wild West.

Letting yourself into your apartment, you’re grateful to take off your layers of cold-weather clothing, placing your items on the kitchen table where you could arrange them in a gift bag later. For now, you are ready to eat, nap and then take a shower.

However, once you’d had some soup and put on your comfy clothes, the initial excitement over your purchases started to fade. As you roll over in bed, eyeing the red numbers displaying 11am, you feel the knots in your stomach ache in the background.

Exhaling frustratedly you shift again under the covers, desperate to find slumber in the plumpness of your pillows.

It’s Jay that answers the door at Will’s new apartment, apparently, he had taken on the role of security but also cloakroom clerk. Offering to hang up your jacket, take your gift bag and find you a drink.

“How’s it going, Y/N?” Jay asks casually.

With a swallow of the urge to spill your lovesickness to him, you smile, “All good, thanks, Jay. How about you?”

Jay lets out a small laugh, one that seems full of knowledge and scepticism with regard to your answer. “I’m good, Y/N, business as usual for me.” Jay doesn’t say anything else, but he’s looking at you differently, speaking without saying a damn thing.

You sometimes hated that Halstead smugness, it was clearly a genetic trait both boys shared. You were now sure he knew something about this whole debacle, but you didn’t know what.

You follow Jay through the small hallway into the front room where familiar faces are already gathered in different pockets of conversation. You spot Maggie and Sharon on the couches, with Will and Nina hovering nearby, and you spot Connor in the process of joining their group.

Jay sidles up to you with an extra beer in hand, seemingly getting it from thin air as he nods in Will’s direction.

The detective takes a sip of his own drink, again with that glint in his eye that makes you want to push him into the obnoxiously large cactus in the corner of the room. “Are you gonna say hey, or are we keeping a safe distance for the evening?”

You glance at Jay, a glare flashes across your features, settling into a frown and a half smile. You could tell Jay, for all his teasing, was actually looking out for you. He must definitely know how you feel about his brother.

A sigh escapes you, taking a swig of your beer. “Who told you, and why?” You ask, slightly disappointed that Maggie might have spilt to Jay of all people.

Jay chuckles softly, patting your shoulder. “Y/N, I got eyes. I see how you look at my pain in the ass, romantically challenged, brother.”

You’re about to say something when Jay continues, his face a little more sympathetic, maybe even sad, as he speaks. “And I saw you that night when they started canoodling, you looked pretty damn crushed. I had had my suspicions before then, but that night I knew. I wanted so badly to smack that idiot upside the head, but I didn’t know how you wanted to play it out. So I left it, and I want to apologise for not saying anything, but I figured you’d do what you wanted to do.” Jay shrugs, a grimace as he waits for your reaction, taking another swig to distract from the brief silence between you.

“Jay…” You start, your heart racing, and you half expect yourself to start crying but your brain protects you in front of all the people that could spot you break down. Surprising yourself as you remain composed.

“First and foremost, I’m not upset with you, why would I be? You didn’t know what I was thinking, and I had no idea you even knew as much as you do… I figured I’d let it be, who am I to stop him from doing what he wants? He seems happy, and we were long friends before we could be anything else, I don’t want to lose that.”

He nods, wrapping an arm around your shoulder in a comforting squeeze.

Jay is ready to continue, “Listen, I know he’s off with Nina, but you should know-” But Will’s voice bursts your private bubble and you almost jump out of your skin.

“Jay, you can’t use her as a shield from socialising with everyone.” Will approaches with a big smile, clearly glad to see you’d not abandoned ship at the last moment.

“Sorry, brother, just didn’t want you to bore her to death with the speech about where you got that cactus and the guy you got it from.” Jay grins, and Will rolls his eyes, steering you away from his brother towards Nina, Sharon and April.

You half-heartedly wave ‘bye’ to Jay, feeling the uptick in your nerves as Will’s hand stays on your back. “Glad you made it, Y/N, thanks for coming.” Your neck tingles with the softness in Will’s tone.

“Of course, Will, you got it.” You smile, internally cringing at your chipper tone. Your stomach flip flops at the slight brush of Will’s thumb on your back as he lets go, arriving at a stop next to Nina as you greet everyone.

The evening continues without incident, you find yourself enjoying it more than you thought you would. Nina turns out to be a good cook, having made a good proportion of the nibbles and snacks on offer from scratch. You even manage to have a few conversations with her, without feeling like you were suffocating under the secret you kept to your chest.

Will had kept a subtle eye on you throughout too, you had caught him a few times looking in your direction but for the most part, you weren’t tuned in to the way he worried about whether you were having a good time or not.

He also hadn’t missed the way you and Jay were talking earlier, he was itching to know what you were discussing but he didn’t want to intrude - the thought crossed his mind to pry it from Jay at a later date, which wouldn’t be easy.

Will was happy to have his friends around, and he really did think Nina was a great person, yet he couldn’t shake the gnawing wrongness in his stomach - the best way he could describe the sensation was “cold feet”. He sighs, refilling the ice box in the kitchen as he idly listens to the hubbub and music in the lounge, tuning in to the call of his brother requesting he hurries up in the kitchen

You’re sitting on a dining chair near the couch, next to Maggie as she squeezes you. You nod to reassure her that you were doing good, smiling as she keeps a comforting hold on your arm.

Nina and Jay stand at the front of the gathering, a natural aisle down the middle had formed to allow Will back into the room and to the ‘centre stage’.

Will sets down the ice bucket back on the refreshments table and faces his friends who are still chattering to each other, waiting for the speech to be made, a blush on his cheeks as Nina clanks her glass.

Will catches your eye for just a split second, you take a swig of your second drink of the night, a smile and a small silent cheers gesture to him before you look away and focus on something else.

Nina smiles brightly at the hush as she begins to speak, “Hey everybody. Um, thank you so much for coming. Celebrating with the people who know me and Will best, it means a lot…”

That was strike one for you, your stomach tensed in readiness for what else Nina was going to say.

“...But there is something that most of you may not know about Will. He’s still got a lot of Med School debt, but he paid part of his way through it by singing at Irish weddings.”

There’s a gasp in the crowd, a titter of excitement as Jay picks up Will’s guitar. You and Maggie look at each other, and Maggie is grinning, eyebrows raised in excitement. Neither of you knew you were getting food and a show tonight.

“What?” You hear Will exclaim, and you snorted as you took another swig of your drink. This was going to be good.

Ah, that was right. He’d left his guitar out earlier, forgetting to put it back in the case and stow it away.

He was going to kill Jay.

Will half-heartedly protests, but Jay thrusts the instrument at his brother with that same shit-eating grin you’d seen many a time before, along with a quip about needing to pay rent.

Sharon even pipes up, and it’s sweet to see Will almost immediately agree. Like a mother asking her son to play, he wasn’t going to be the one to decline now. Only further encouraged by Nina and the cheer of the group in front of him, including you, he takes the guitar in his hands.

The hush from before settles around the room, listening intently as Will begins to sing and play the strings beneath his fingers.

“Baby

It's been a long day, baby

Things ain't been going my way

You know I need you here

To ease my mind

All the time”

At first, you’re stifling your giggles of excitement, because Will had a great voice that you’d never heard before. Not only that, but you knew Will would totally smack Jay upside the head for making him play in front of everyone, and it tickled you to no end.

“And baby

The way you move me, it's crazy

It's like you see right through me

And make it easier

You please me, you don't even have to try”

However, with that excitement came the deepest urge to cry. An urge that you smothered by drinking your beer and squeezing the napkin you had in your other hand in a vice grip. Maggie’s grip on you had tightened too.

Jay was watching his brother, and that glint of pride in his eyes wasn’t hard to miss, despite Jay’s hesitation on the whole moving-in situation, he didn’t want to butt in on Will’s life, Will seemed to be happy.

You watched the man you admired and loved play with ease, his voice was somehow soothing and shattering as you watched Nina look at him the way you do when he isn’t paying attention.

A tidal wave of emotions that you’d managed to suppress since that night at Molly’s came crashing over you with each word of the song, feeling your heart stutter wildly as Will’s eyes focus briefly on yours.

You can’t look away, not even if you wanted to, the tears that you had so doggedly fought against now spilt silently over and down your cheeks. Quickly wiping them away lest somebody, that wasn’t Maggie or Will, notice.

“Oh, because

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing)

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing, baby)

You are the best thing

(You're the best thing, ooh)

Ever happened to me”

Will’s eyes glisten too, his heart thundering in his eyes as he plays on autopilot for the rest of the song. In the surreal moment of everyone else’s joy, the doting look on Nina’s face, he is crushed to see the look of grief on yours.

Listening to his head and his heart, louder and clearer than he had in all those times of fear and doubt, Will knows now without question he’s made a mistake. A mistake that will certainly hurt Nina going forward, but there’s also a mistake that’s already hurt you.

The latter is something that Will can’t live with.

It feels like an eternity as you try to calmly get up from your seat next to Maggie, hushed murmurs between the both of you as you quickly and quietly tell her that you need to get going. She can see the anguish on your face enough to not try and convince you to stay, offering a sad smile and an encouraging squeeze as she promises to text later.

You dare not glance back at Will, only offering a polite smile and nod to Jay as you squeeze past him between the clusters of people who had resumed their chattering and merriment. He doesn’t push now, the teasing at the start of this evening now makes him feel somewhat dickish as he sees the pain in your face.

Unbeknownst to you, Will can’t tear his eyes away from watching you leave, the prickly heat of worry and dread spreads across his skin. The desire to go after you was clear on his features, lost in his own moment of realisation, too caught up in the tumbling down of his own walls to realise Nina was witness to it as well.

She had never been clueless about your connection to her boyfriend, but to your credit, you had never overstepped or even tried to enforce your place in his life. However, now, as she watches the silent revelation play out in front of her, it’s hard to ignore the sourness in her throat. Her new chapter of life had been closed as quickly as it had started.

After the last of the guests say their goodbyes, a heavy silence begins to fill the air of the apartment, replacing the lights and the laughter with a stillness that sits like dark, weighted, rain clouds that threaten a downpour.

Will puts almost entirely too much focus on clearing away scraps of food, crumpled napkins and used plastic champagne flutes for there not to be something so obviously wrong.

Nina glances at him from time to time, the energy coursing through her body going into putting the furniture back with haste. She can feel her hurt and anger building, but there’s also a resignation, she just wishes Will had opened his mouth sooner.

Eventually, she can’t take it, straightening up the dining table, she can’t help thinking about the fact that it’s a huge mercy that their landlord had included a 7-day grace period in their rental agreement.

“Are you gonna say something? Or do I have to do that for you too, even at the very end?” Her first shot is fired into the thick air, which makes Will’s shoulders tense. A slow lift of his head from the fascinating sight of the garbage bag in his hands to the woman he was about to let down.

“Nina, I-” The look on Will’s face already has her jaw clenching, he was about to try and soften the situation somehow, something she didn’t want or need. She only needed the truth.

“Will, I suggest you think very clearly about what comes out of your mouth next. Just be clear and be honest with me.”

Will pressed his lips together, recalculating his sentence now that he could see this was really happening, it was now or never to face up to the reality of his feelings.

“Nina? I haven’t been fair to you. You deserve someone as committed to you as you are to him, and I haven’t been that person.”

Nina inhales a sharp breath, hearing it aloud stings, but at least it’s the truth. “It’s always been Y/N, hasn’t it?”

Will blinks, swallowing, staring his transgressions in the face.

“You messed me around. You acted as if I could be the only person you’d want this future with, but all along you knew the truth. You knew deep down that Y/N was who you really wanted, and you let us go through all of this - in front of our friends too.” Nina’s rage is the quiet kind, the kind that doesn’t need screaming or erratic behaviour to convey the gravity of its source.

“I didn’t know she had feelings for me, not for sure, not until tonight… I-... I’m sorry, Nina. I have feelings for her, and I shouldn’t have ignored them. I should have been honest from the start, from that kiss at Molly’s. I shouldn’t have let myself pretend.”

“Oh well, I’m so glad you’ve seen the light tonight, no more pretending, huh? Wow.”

Will’s eyes shuttered closed for a second, there was no getting around the mess he’d made for Nina and for you.

“Nina, I care about what happens to you, I-”

Nina held her hand up, shaking her head. She didn’t need to hear any more about how much Will loved you or how sorry he was that he still wasn’t going to pick her. “Please just go, Will. Get what you need tonight, we can arrange our stuff at some point. I just need you to go, please. Now.”

Will nods, picking up his phone from the coffee table as he silently heads to the bedroom to pack some things. He would be reacquainting himself with Jay’s couch tonight.

You were more than thankful that the following day was a day off for you. You could very well put your personal feelings aside for the sake of the job, but it was a relief to be allowed to cry in your apartment under a duvet and mindlessly watch episode after episode of Mythbusters.

Even though your eyes were staring at the laptop screen, your mind couldn’t be further from focusing on what was in front of you. You couldn’t stop replaying over and over the way Will had really seen you last night, he knew the truth now and you would have to live with that reality - whatever that might mean for your friendship.

So much was your melancholic reverie that the texts you’d received from not only Maggie but Jay and Will had all gone unnoticed and unread. Each passing hour was just as lovesick as the one before it until you felt like you were climbing the walls.

At around 2pm you decide to take a shower, put on some real clothes, open the curtains and take yourself out for a walk to get some food and some sunshine on your skin.

You’re just checking the lock on your front door when noise from further down the corridor grabs your attention, you figured that when you turned it would be one of your neighbours going back to their apartment. However, when you register the figure in front of you, you almost wish you could unlock the door and hustle back inside without being spotted.

Will was approaching you, a look of concern on his face that you’d rarely ever seen unless there was a serious emergency in the ED. As he gets closer his exhaustion is apparent, with hair that was unkempt and redness in his eyes that spoke of little to no sleep.

You were confused, to say the least, last night should have been a great night for him and he should have gone to bed with Nina to forget all about you.

As you stand frozen on the spot, pondering what could have possibly happened to have Will so stressed out, you almost jump when Will comes to a stop in front of you. He shifts from one foot to the other, hands deep in his jean pockets to stop them from fidgeting or rubbing nervously at his neck.

“Hi.” He murmurs, his voice gruff from a dry throat.

“Hi.” You utter, voice tight. It now occurs to you that your face probably doesn’t look too much better, even the shower wouldn’t have magically erased the bags from tossing and turning, and the redness from crying.

“What are you doing here?” You ask curiously, trying not to sound too blunt or rude.

“Can we talk?” He asks carefully, waiting for you to be upset with him as Nina had been.

You swallow, stomach flip-flopping with the gurgles of hunger to accompany it.

“Sure…I, uh, I was going to take a walk and get lunch. Wanna come?”

Will nods, taking a breath. “Sounds good.”

It’s not even 5 minutes into your walk until the silence between you almost becomes unbearable. The idea of breaking that silence seems to occur to you both at the same time.

“Will, I-”

“I broke up with Nina.”

You stare at each other as the words sit in your brain, coming to a halt tucked to the side of the sidewalk.

“You broke up with Nina? The Nina who you’re sharing a new home with?” You don’t mean for the sentence to be so blunt, but you’re stunned at this turn of events.

“Yeah, that’s the one.” Will gives a pained and sheepish smile.

You’re frozen for a moment, trying to figure out if it was because of you without seeming too self-absorbed. Will seems to pick up on your thoughts, however, pacing slightly in front of you and as the words tumble past his lips, hands gesturing wildly as he tries to get his feelings across.

“And it is because I care about you, Y/N. I haven’t acted right at all, and I don’t expect you to suddenly feel ready for anything. Hell, I don’t even expect you to want to be friends anymore, but I couldn’t lie to myself, and I couldn’t pretend like losing you wouldn’t be the biggest regret of my life. I shouldn’t have hurt you or Nina the way that I did, and I’m truly, deeply, sorry… I love you, Y/N.”

It’s surreal to think that this is happening in the middle of the street, whilst the world bustles around you. You look into the wild, soft, brown eyes of Will Halstead and you’re met with the truth now. You can see it there, the same sense of fear, grief and hope that had burned so strongly last night as he played the guitar and watched you cry.

You expected to fling yourself into his arms and kiss him senseless, but in reality, you nestle in close to wrap your arms tightly around him, your head tucked into his chest as you sniffle.

The warmth of his hand cradling the back of you makes you feel safe, his lips gentle as they press to the top of your head. A strong hold on your waist as you sniff rather pitifully, full of relief and shock, speaking quietly as though any louder would shatter some sort of illusion, “Please, please don’t change your mind.”

Will’s laughter rumbles through his chest, planting more kisses on your face as you look at him, laughter pulled from you too as you see your own joy mirrored on him.

“That was a one-time thing, sweetheart. I won’t be changing anything for as long as you want me to be here.”

Fin.

tags: @resanoona - @elius-learns-to-write - @dumb-fawkin-bitch

#resa.3kfiestabingo #will halstead x reader #will halstead #chicago med #one chicago

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wisecrackingeric-2 · 1 year ago

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Death Island Spoiler-Free Thoughts post!!!

I JUST finished seeing DI last night (In Aotearoa) and oh my GOD???????? It was S O G O O D????????? It ABSOLUTELY lived up to my expectations!!!!!!!! I’m gonna do a spoiler-free thoughts post first and then I’ll post my spoilers post!!!!!! And if anybody wants any clips of the movie I managed to sneak in, please just ask!!

Ok first off,,, holy FUCK that beginning was S O tense. My friend and I were gripping our seats the entire time and it takes place during a pretty important moment in RE history and I think people are gonna LOVE it

And the villains motivations????? His backstory???????? LITERALLY HEARTBREAKING. It’s ACTUALLY GENUIENLY COMPELLING AND INTERESTING. His backstory is all laid out in that beginning scene and dear GOD it’s SO SAD. I’m trying to keep it Spoiler-Free obviously but I will D I E on the hill that him and his “best friend” were actually gay lovers. You CANNOT convince me otherwise

He was also just genuinely pretty frightening of a villain. He has this one repeated ‘motion’ he does throughout the movie that really makes you tense up, and there’s this one scene with a doctor character that had my friend and I on the edge of our seats

Again, his motivations were actually interesting and made sense!!!!!! And him calling out the main gangs respective organisations (BSAA, DSO, Government, Terrasave, etc etc) for being hypocrites was actually a compelling argument!!!!!!!!! It actually made the characters think!!

I’m trying to word this as best as I can without giving any of the plot away, and @highball66 has talked about this in their posts too, but throughout the movie the main gang are called ‘Pawns’ or ‘The Governments Weapons’ repeatedly quite a lot, and it makes me wonder if that’s gonna come up as an important plot point in a future game or something???? It’s very interesting to think about coupled with the implications of their respective organisations being hypocrites

You’ll all be delighted to know there is SO MUCH shipping content in this movie my GOD. S O many good Chreon moments. So many good Valenfield (for both siblings) and Chamberfield moments (in fact, every scene Rebecca’s in, Claire’s in there too :)) Shippers will have a BLAST

Just as expected, Jill and Leon are the PERFECT duo. They’re SUCH GOOD BESTIES, they work off of each other repeatedly SO WELL. They’re constantly giving each other silly goofy one-liners and saying something sarcastic to make the other one laugh, it’s great

Also, I don’t think Leon has a single serious line in this movie HXNSHDNDHXN everytime he’s on screen he’s ALWAYS saying something goofy or silly or making a pun. It’s GREAT

Also, the characters traumas actually get explored in an interesting and compelling way!!!!!!!! ESPECIALLY Jills!!!! Which makes sense cuz the movies about her, but they all get their moments to talk about how X event effected them etc etc, unfortunately none of it really gets resolved but I’m assuming they’re saving that for a future game

Jill’s kinda does???? She has a Good-For-Her moment with the villain which is fantastic and her and Chris have a good heart to heart at the end

Also, Chris Redfield fans are gonna be delighted with his character exploration in this movie

LOTS of references to Re2 & 3. In fact a BIG plot point/ motivator of the movie all stems from RE2, so Raccoon City fans are gonna have a blast!!!!!

Also, HEAPS of old characters are either mentioned or do actually show up!!!!! Nobody that I think anyone would be screaming to be excited about, but still!!

Unfortunately, Rebecca does get the exact same treatment as she did in Vendetta, but like, in the opposite direction…… she dissapeares for basically the entire movie and randomly shows up to save the day. I can’t complain though cuz seeing her work together with everyone else was FANTASTIC

This truly did feel like the avengers endgame of the RE movies, but there were also PLENTY of hints and open ends to a sequel

Finally, this truly was JILLS movie. When I was told that Jill was gonna be the main character I wasn’t really convinced, but M A N she truly SLAYS in this film. She IS THE MOMENT. This is HER movie and it shows

Aside from Leon’s random goofy one liners, I think my favourite part of this movie was the villain. I WISH I could just spoil his motivations in this post because for resident evil standards they’re SO INTERESTING and AGAIN, his thoughts on the main gangs respective organisations leave a lot to think about when it comes to future instalments!!!!!

10/10 movie, would 10000000% recommend. Truly lives up to my standards. My only negative is that Rebecca was hardly in it for the middle half but that’s it. SO glad we FINALLY got to see everyone working together (Capcom, PLEASE put your characters together like this again!!!!!!)

Forgot to add this, but Jill is cannonically a Jurassic Park fan. In fact, the entire last half of the movie is just a giant Jurassic Park reference

And I can’t PROVE this, but,,,,,, I’m 90% sure there was a Mr Beast reference. You’ll know it when you see it

#resident evil #resident evil death island #re death island #death island #re leon #re leon kennedy #leon s Kennedy #leon kennedy #re chris #chris redfield #re rebecca #rebecca chambers #re jill #jill valentine #re claire #claire redfield #valenfield #chamberfield #chreon

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abooklover · 11 months ago

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Rewatching the first two episodes of the Percy Jackson series for like the fifth time like any sane person and just wanted to make a comprehensive (and I mean comprehensive so bear with me here) list of all my thoughts, however unhinged they may be so here goes.

EPISODE 1

Walker’s monologue at the beginning gives such great background and I’m not gonna lie it destroyed me hearing ‘look I didn’t want to be a half-blood’ as the first words. Not to mention the fact that half of that monologue is pretty much word for word from the book which is something I die over whenever it happens

Blackjack looking out for Percy - we love a bit of foreshadowing

The light that comes into the picture when he says things changed when he met Grover. This is literally everything to me, I am so glad even just in the first two episodes they’re showing how strong of a bond they have. Also let’s not forget that they have Mythomagic cards

Sally Jackson (my goddess) imparting words of fucking wisdom - ‘not everyone who looks like a hero is a hero and not everyone who looks like a monster is a monster’

Also her explaining to Percy the story of Perseus (his name sake) - like I am sorry but the centring of the mother/son relationship which only amplifies once Percy loses her is something I don’t know how to explain how much I love (like her even prays to her over his father who is a literal god but we’ll get to that later). ‘hold fast Perseus, brave the storm that was made to break us for we are unbreakable as long as we have each other’ 😭

‘hang on to that, it is a mighty instrument’ - oh yeah it is

Grover spouting scientific facts about bullying - ‘childhood trauma, feelings of inadequacy’ - like he’s written a research paper on it 🤣

Percy and Grover swapping things on their sandwich like they’re siblings

‘I was thinking more like shoving Nancy in the nearest dumpster’ and there mischievous smile afterwards - oh I love you Percy

Grover saying ‘If there’s one thing I know about bullies, you should never stand up to them’ and Percy saying ‘that doesn’t sound right’

I was a little underwhelmed with the whole Mrs Dodds encounter. I don’t know I think I just expected something longer and with the whole drama of Mr Brunner throwing Percy the pen but I think maybe in hindsight it makes more sense cause it’s easier to convince Percy that it didn’t happen

Gotta say that the first time I watched the scene in the principals office I did not even realise Rick was in it but now I can’t not see him

Grover ‘betraying’ Percy was heartbreaking cause you know Grover doesn’t want to do it but knows that he has to and you know that Percy feels like he has lost the only friend he had

Actually really glad that Eddie is a nice sympathetic guy not one of Gabe’s poker buddies

Still disappointed by Gabe - I still think he needed to be a bit more grimy and disgusting (and the way he talks in the scene was just not right for me, don’t know whether it was the acting or the script but it was a no from me). Though Percy’s ‘Losing at imaginary poker’ line was funny

Logical and Sally Jackson. That is all. Just know that I actively sob every time I watch this. Also her sitting in the rain so contentedly will never not hit me, on a personal level knowing how certain things can just provide peace and an escape from life otherwise but also more contextually with her and Poseidon (bottom line: water is the ultimate comfort)

Of course Sally believes Percy and brings him blue candy. Keeping the most important themes of the book. The mother-son bond (which I will to more later) and the blue

I always thought Brunner was pronounced runner but with a b in front of it

D’Angelo’s - yes I will take any peace of nico that I am given (fingers crossed for the lotus casino scenes)

My kin sally Jackson crying in a car while watching her son sleep knowing what lies ahead, nope sorry but I’m not okay and neither is she

‘You fell in love with god, like-like Jesus?’ - oh Percy my love. If nothing else this is who Percy Jackson is.

Percy fully believing that something is wrong with him because that’s what he’s always been told

‘What is he doing here, I don’t want to see him’. Grover and his impeccable timing and panic. Don’t get me started on why I think the ‘You didn’t tell him about me?’, ‘You’re early’ exchange between Grover and Sally is the funniest thing to me.

‘Why is there half a goat in your pants?’ and ‘Why is it wearing underpants?’ - Percy asking the important questions here

I honestly don’t know how they didn’t figure out Percy was Poseidon’s son after the whole Nancy no of it and then Clarissa like it was quite obvious

‘I’m actually 24’ oh Grover we know you bleat when you’re anxious

Sally’s goodbye to Percy - I am a sucker for sadness

I do agree that riptide should be bigger but the only thing I can think is that maybe it’ll grow with him

EPISODE 2

‘You drool when you sleep�� the iconic line. It kinda disappointed me not going to lie.

PETER JOHNSON-pretending to be Percy’s father-PETER-using Percy to break the rules Dionysus introduction and pipeline (oh he is horribly perfect)

‘Yeah but did you’ persassy is in the house and I hope he never leaves (one of my favourite lines and the way walker delivers it is perfection)

Camp looks incredible. I know people have issues with the grandeur of it all but that’s the way things work in the film industry and I personal adore it

And can we talk about Chiron’s injured back leg. Like am I forgetting something (probably) but I don’t remembered him being injured

For those who don’t know, finding out that like is the bad guy is probably gonna destroy them. Charlie bushnell really was like I’m gonna make everyone love me only for them to be crushed (and even though I know I am still gonna hurt - yes I have a soft spot for Luke)

I was so confused when Grover went into the woods and saw the council (it was the only part that I was like what in the world is this, this wasn’t in the books)

Luke being the one the comfort Percy and show him around - oh a genius choice narrative wise but I do miss my girl Annabeth

Introduction to Clarisse was everything - Dior is my goddess

‘Should I try again’ and the resounding ‘NO!’

‘Is there a Greek God of disappointment. Maybe someone should ask him if he’s missing a kid’ - Percy Percy Percy stop making me love you more than I already do like I don’t think my heart can take it

Then Chris’s lovely little tangent and Luke going man why the fuck are you saying this and reassuring Percy - you go storyline building up the loveable Luke (I’m already hurting)

‘They like the smell of begging’ - top teir line

‘You burn what you’re gonging to miss the most’ flash forward to Percy taking this and burning his blue candy praying, not to his father who is an actual god, but to his mother (I cannot handle this, like this kid knows that his mum is the real goddess)

Walker’s voice breaking on ‘well’ - I am sobbing

And the fact that he says he made actual friends - the narrative damning us to inevitable torture

The resentment in his voice when talking about his father - I am so glad they leaned into this

I kinda loved the bathroom scene. And how we are first introduced to Annabeth in this and how she is her blunt self (still don’t know how they could not have known)

Like calling Annabeth his little sister and saying he will always be on her side (I am hurting even more - we never get to see Luke’s perspective in the books and this, this absolutely ruined me)

Pronunciation of Thalia is still going to take some getting used to

Chiron forever in that suit jacket and fence is just not sitting right with me - doesn’t fit the whole trainer of warrior vibe he should be giving

‘Not you sunshine’ - honestly better than seaweed brain

Percy tripping over the branch and Annabeth just standing there and her facial expression (on Leah you are everything)

‘When it’s time he’s going to be ready. I know it.’ Cut to a montage of Percy doing the most 12 year old things possible, including but not limited to flossing (which I thought was kind of out of place and cringe) and petting a random gecko (which I thought was out of place but one of the most hilarious things ever so I’ll give it a pass) while his helmet and weapons lay discarded

Percy I thought you were meant to be proving yourself to your dad to get his attention or something, telling people where the flag is to avoid a fight is not exactly how to do that

Honestly any time Dior is on my screen is a good time - her manic laugh and anguished scream Dior is the moment

Annabeth’s bluntness will always be everything to me - ‘listen, Percy, I’m sorry’ and Percy’s ‘what is wrong with you’ (top five moments of the show)

The reveal - Percy Jackson son of Poseidon

‘I am Sally Jackson’s son’ yeah you tell them Percy (you will always be first and foremost Sally Jackson’s son)

#percy jackson and the olympians #percy jackson #pjo #pjo tv show #pjo spoilers #luke castellan #annabeth chase #grover underwood

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zirkkun-uthcs · 1 year ago

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Underswap Asriel Headcanons

I’ve always hated how overlooked Asriel is in Underswap. I get that the MK <> Asriel swap doesn’t make much sense, but implications of this swap are fun to think about

I image Swap!Azzy to be pretty similar to his classic counterpart with two major differences. One, he’s a big fan of Alphys, and two, he doesn’t have legs.

The legs thing is inspired by one comic of Monster Kid watching Mettaton’s show and getting super excited when MTT says “Who needs arms with legs like these?” Since Napstaton loves his arms, I though it’d be a funny parallel, on top of me just trying to be original.

Swap!Asriel has prosthetic legs that Undyne made at Toriel’s request. Azzy’s pretty self-conscious about them, so he wears super long sweatpants that he trips over a lot. Swap!Asriel also plays a bigger part in the story than classic MK. He still sneaks out against his parents’ wishes, but that carries a lot more weight when you remember that he’s the prince.

Asriel sticks a lot closer to you and basically becomes your only party member, possessing healing abilities similar to Ralsei’s. His anxiousness shows itself in his acts, especially when he has a flex off with Shyren, though he does seem to enjoy singing with Aaron.

Alphys’ chase scenes involve Chara dragging Asriel along by the hand, with Alphys attacking a lot less out of fear of accidentally hitting the prince. Alphys, along with the additional guards patrolling Waterfall due to the prince’s absence, are under the assumption that Chara is holding the prince hostage, or at the very least manipulating him.

Alphys attempts to reason with Asriel, but the path gives out, causing Chara and Asriel to fall into the dump. The flashback plays out the same, and Chara wakes up to Asriel worriedly calling out to them. Asriel’s clothes are all sorts of messed up after the fall, basically forcing Azzy to come clean about his prosthetics. He asks Chara if they think he’s lame because of it. Chara will say no regardless of which option you chose.

Asriel becomes a bit more confident, even after the Bored Dummy insults him for having such boring magic attacks. He mentioned his love of the stars if you poked around the wishing room, but he’s now more vocal about it. He really likes Hapstablook’s poem about the stars, and he looks through Sans’s telescope, only to find that Papyrus drew on the lense with marker. A classic Papyrus Prank TM.

After facing off against more guards, including 01 and 02, Chara and Asriel arive at the cliff. Alphys actually starts telling Chara the story of monsters before Asriel tries to sneak past with Chara, who seemed genuinely interested. The chase plays out similar to canon, only with Alphys trying to talk Asriel down. If you say just the right things, Asriel can convince Alphys to back off. If not, then the chase continues all the way to the bridge to Hotland.

Alphys doesn’t buckle under the heat, instead grabbing Asriel. In a panic, Asriel pushes her away, right off the bridge. Alphys is now dangling above molten lava. She’s struggling to hold on, and Asriel can’t pull her up on his own.

If Chara does nothing, Alphys falls and dies. Asriel, overwhelmed by the guilt of killing his hero and his only true friend doing nothing about it, runs back to Waterfall. In many resulting Neutral routes, he is still missing.

If Chara does help, Asriel will apologize profusely. Alphys asks one last time that Asriel stay away from the human, even though now, she seems a bit reluctant to. On more violent neutral runs, Asriel does just that, but otherwise, he stands his ground.

Undyne is ticked off by the visitors, but she tries to be more approachable when she realizes that it’s the prince and the human. Asriel mentions seeing Napstaton’s blue prints along with the designs for his prosthetics. Undyne talks about Napstaton, who then bursts through the wall.

Instead of TV programs, Napstaton’s encounters are them filming for their Music Videos. Each one is themed. A science song for the lab, a Halloween song, a love song (which is basically just the musical scene). Each encounter baring the first utilizes the Cyan soul, which is basically just DDR. Asriel can sing in each encounter, and he can even show up Napstaton, giving you the chance to freestyle. If you freestyle on all the previous encounters, then Asriel will (unwilling) play the part of the princess in the love song instead of Napstaton.

Catty and Bratty are now 03 and 04, and their fight is pretty much the same as the unused encounter. Grillby is tough to reason with, as he doesn’t talk, but Asriel can help the fire monster WARM UP to you. In fact, Asriel can help you spare a lot of monsters in Hotland and the Core easier than if you were alone. Also, Asriel can cause Grillby’s attacks to become stronger/more erratic if he attacks the fire monster because fire + fire = more fire.

In the dinner scene with Papyrus, Asriel confirms that the man behind the door is Asgore. Unlike classic Toriel, Swap!Asgore didn’t run away. He was purposely relocated to the ruins to… collect the human souls quicker. Papyrus drops a penny and takes his opportunity to stairwalk away and let you two talk.

Asriel talks about how tense things are between his parents. How tense the guards are as they walk him to ruins so he can stay with his father for the weekend. How tense his dad is when he tucks him in.

Asriel explains that he didn’t sneak out because he wanted to see Alphys, or the “stars,” or any of that. He snuck out because his parents were fighting over the phone. He needed to get out and clear his head.

Asriel chuckles at the irony. If he hadn’t been in such a bad situation, then he never would’ve met you. You, Chara, who saw him for who he was. Not “Asriel Dreemurr,” or “Asriel the prince.”

He was just Asriel.

01 and 02 are out in the back alley selling stuff if you didn’t kill them. Nice Cream Guy puts on a glossy exterior, but Asriel can tell that the bunny man is dead inside.

Undyne actually gives you the correct directions in the Core because she kinda wants you out of her hair. If you couldn’t tell, Hotland’s heat has made her a bit of a grump.

At the end of the Core, you face off with both Napstaton and Hapstablook, the latter now having a robot body and going by Mettaton. Chara can help Mettaton overcome their stage fright, while Asriel can cause Napstaton to tear himself to bits similarly to classic MTT. Yes, that means that Napstaton’s question of “who needs legs with arms like these?” is directed at Asriel. Que happy goat boy sounds.

Anyways, Napstaton has a bit of a Blooky moment before powering down, and Undyne steps in to sort everything out. While Undyne helps Mettaton calm down, Asriel and Chara ride the elevator to New Home. Asriel is the one who explains the situation with you taking the queen’s soul, though he’s even less tactful than classic Alphys.

If you killed Napstaton or Mettaton, not only would the fight end abruptly, but Asriel would lock himself in his room. Asriel would also do this if you started killing monsters after saving Alphys.

If neither of those are true, then Asriel will follow you through the judgment hall, where all of your sins (or lack thereof) are spelled out by Papyrus, and finally, you reach the throne room. Toriel is both shocked and relieved to see her son, but when her gaze lands on Chara, she goes numb. She tells Asriel to go to his room, and after much arguing, he obliges, though not before giving Chara something.

A heart-shaped locket.

#submission #undertale #undertale headcanon #uthcs headcanon #underswap #underswap headcanon #underswap!asriel #underswap!chara #underswap!undyne #underswap!napstablook #underswap!mettaton #underswap!catty #underswap!bratty #underswap!alphys #i hope i got all the chars #but this is sweet!! i love the idea of you having a party in underswap instead of just chara

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chirpsythismorning · 2 years ago

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Y’all will be your own undoing the fact none of you have not even the slightest bit of doubt is rather worrying. what happens if neither is endgame and let’s say Mike is killed off? You can’t say that won’t happen either because you don’t know the same way you can’t say byler is endgame because you don’t know hell even milevens can’t say they’re ship is endgame because they don’t know. Ego is ruining both sides and neither side is correct and shouldn’t proclaim to be.

I'm sorry anon, but I'm not all bylers. While there are a great deal of bylers like myself who have less doubts these days, there are plenty that have mostly doubts. PLENTY. Arguably the vast majority. And for good reason, ie. history.

To be completely honest anon, I don't think you're worried about bylers and their lack of doubts. I think their lack of doubt scares you bc it's caused you to go from confident to having doubts yourself. Why else would you be here on anon all condescending otherwise?

Personally, I'm not even here bc I want to believe byler's endgame. And no offense to those that have went through it, because the whole point of queer-baiting is to basically mock queer fans and lead them on with no intention of following through, but I have never been queer-baited before.

I did however, like many milkvans, go into Stranger Things loving Mike and El under the assumption they were peak romance. I literally skipped all of s2 during my first rewatch to get to their reunion! But genuinely, do we think the show is supposed to be watched that way?? Hell no.

If you're having to skip all of s2, most of s3, most of s4 in rewatches, bc Mike and El are separated, fighting, or broken up, what does that tell you?

If you're having resentments for characters like Max and Lucas and Will and Hopper bc the story has made points to have those characters interfere with your confidence in Mike and El romantically, I'm sorry, but I'm gonna go out on a limb and say you're probably watching the show wrong. To be clear, if you have resentment for ANY of the main characters, you are missing something!!!

And that was my problem back then when I subscribed to these assumptions, because I WANTED to believe Mike and El were the pinnacle of romance, despite the signs incoming that went against it. And what that meant is I had to hold resentments for all the characters, including Mike and El themselves and even the Duffer Brothers for ruining what I WANTED to believe.

After s3, me, my friends, family and quite honestly anyone I spoke to about the show, said that it went downhill since the previous two seasons. And I do think a big part of the reason why, is because of the Mike and El conflict conflating everything. It felt regressive. And s4 repeating that exact storyline????

It took me a while to even consider byler as an idea. It's not like I latch onto every non-canon mlm ship and just ship for nothing (very few bylers do this, no matter how much anti's need to convince themselves this is the case as an excuse to be homophobic).

I am a hopeless romantic. Doesn't matter if it's queer or straight, I only ship stuff that I feel confident is endgame bc why would I put myself through scenes of something that doesn't feel right to me, merely bc I want to believe it and despite everything pointing against it??

Full serious, IF I was confident in milkvan endgame as a possibility, I would probably just convince myself to like them and provide evidence supporting it, bc I would honestly rather be right? Who tf wants to be wrong?

The problem was it didn't matter if I was initially convinced Mike and El were the pinnacle of romance (I was a child okay, give me a break...). Once I let go of that assumption because of all the doubts I had of them piling up, and took off my heteronormative goggles, I went woah... Holy shit. This show is actually fucking epic. Doubts gone. And the rest is history.

So, what happens if neither is endgame and Mike's killed off? I guess I would be confused, especially because the Duffer's specifically mentioned not being able to kill off Mike in a podcast last year. They gave their reasoning as to why, being that they take deaths on their show very seriously, needing 1+ seasons for them to show the characters mourning the loss. And so ending the show on that exact note, would be kind of a spoiler since they brought it up specifically? Therefore kind of redundant?

I guess, sue me for thinking the Duffers care about the show and put a lot of meaning into it. All of my analysis and theories are based on that assumption. No one's going to change how I think about that, so trust me, not worth getting worked up over it, anon.

If your evidence is all based on the assumption that the Duffers are not that good of writers, that almost everything on the show is coincidental and there's no deeper meaning beyond surface level, why are you even watching it in the first place? You do you I guess, but I just don't know why you wouldn't want to watch something that is more worth your time?

People being confident in their theories wont hurt you. If it bothers you so much, maybe find a way to be confident with your theories after looking at all the evidence from both sides. All sides. Any sides. If you still come up completely indifferent, then don't work yourself up by going on anon and making it other peoples' problem.

If it turns out everything meant nothing, and I was wrong about everything or most of what I interpreted, I will be okay! Because the show went from being about what I wanted to believe, to just what I genuinely believed.

Would I be disappointed? Sure. But lets hope I'm right bc in my scenario the show is epic and everything means something... not sure why anyone would root for the alt...

#byler #ask #queer-baiting is messed up #but I don't think anyone arguing against byler all condescendingly cares about queer-bait #antis are out here depending on queerbait to feel confident in their take on things #if you're just an honest person and have been through queer-bait and are trying to warn ppl who you view as yourself in a way #i sympathize with that #i get it #but there's seriously no reason to target people directly and complain about how their lack of doubt irritates you #like lets get a grip #this is a tv show #if this was a straight ship ya'll would not be out here getting so angry over this and talking all condescending #that's what it comes down to #if you're not homophobic #if you're not holding onto the idea of milkvan bc it's what you want to believe #if you are willing to actually look at all the evidence #instead of just speaking about it like it's an atrocity without actually giving it the time of day #then you'd be a lot closer to the truth about a lot of things on the show #unfortunately a lot of fans have to convince themselves nothing means anything to subscribe to milkvan endgame #and bc of that there's a lot of stuff that they missed #again #if there was enough evidence supporting milkvan #i would find a way to make it work in my brain and focus on the evidence #it's just unfortunate that a majority of their scenes works as the strongest evidence against them

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oneinathousand · 2 years ago

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I love seeing people interpret Dr. Livesey as being a father figure for Jim in the 1988 version, it’s very wholesome, and I was pleased to see that it’s a similar dynamic in the book, though there’s two extra things in the original that I wish had been brought into the cartoon. I understand why they didn’t include these, because they wouldn’t have really gelled well with the more comedic tone they were going for, but still, I think they could have found a way to incorporate them:

The first regards Jim’s father. He’s unmentioned in the animation, but in the book, he dies of an illness around the same time as Billy Bones, and Dr. Livesey had been treating him, making frequent visits to the inn. That’s why Livesey showed up so soon after Billy’s stroke in the book (injury in the cartoon), because he was going to check up on the father, whereas since Jim’s father wasn’t included in the ‘’88 version, Livesey just… materializes when Jim calls for a doctor. Book-Livesey and Jim had a preexisting dynamic, and it explains why Jim is the closest to the doctor out of the other adults.

The second, about an extra scene between Livesey and Jim, requires some context. Book-Smollett got injured during the stockade attack and so he’s out of the picture for the rest of the plot, and Book-Trelawney (and another guy who was left out of the cartoon) were watching over Smollett, meaning that when Jim left the fort to steal the boat, everyone thought he abandoned them out of cowardice. After Jim got caught by Silver and his crew, Silver cruelly told Jim that Livesey and the rest of the survivors now hated him for his actions and would abandon him, which Jim believed and felt ashamed of himself. The book doesn’t confirm if Silver was actually lying or not, but he probably either did or exaggerated the truth, since when Livesey showed back up at the fort to treat the pirates (cause he’s such a chad doctor who will help anyone), he wasn’t mad at Jim, just disappointed.

Here is the scene where Livesey and Jim reunite, with them reconciling once Jim explains what he did after leaving the fort, Livesey attempting to convince Jim to run away from the pirates while they have an opening, and Jim refusing so he can keep his promise to help Silver, and just imagine the animated versions saying this!

I will own that here I began to weep. “Doctor,” I said, “you might spare me. I have blamed myself enough already. My life’s forfeit anyway, and I should have been dead by now, if Silver hadn’t stood for me; and doctor, I believe this, I can die - and I daresay I deserve it - but what I fear is torture. If they come to torture me -”

“Jim,” the doctor interrupted, and his voice was quite changed, “Jim, I can’t have this. Whip over, and we’ll run for it.”

“Doctor,” said I, “I passed my word.”

“I know, I know,” he cried. “We can’t help that, Jim, now, I’ll take it on my shoulders, holus bolus, blame and shame, my boy, but stay here, I cannot let you. Jump! One jump, and you’re out, and we’ll run for it like antelopes.”

“No,” I replied, “you know right well you wouldn’t do the thing yourself; neither you, nor squire, nor captain; and no more will I. Silver trusted me; I passed my word, and back I go.”

(BTW, for anyone wondering about John Silver, if you’ve only otherwise seen adaptations where Silver is the father figure to Jim like Disney’s Treasure Planet, that dynamic was made up for those versions. In the book, Jim gets along with Silver until his betrayal, and grows to respect him in a way, but doesn’t see him as a replacement for his dead father, and Silver for his part likes Jim not because he sees him as a son, but because he reminds him of himself when he was younger.)

#treasure island #treasure island 1988 #Остров Сокровищ #dr livesey #jim hawkins #robert louis stevenson

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tonydaddingham · 10 months ago

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hi!

it’s probably time for me to finally read the good omens book so i don’t have to go around asking things like this, but if you don’t mind answering, i’m curious about something.

was it ever stated that crowley tempted aziraphale into trying food? in the demonic sense of the word? because i saw people saying how he should apologize for tempting aziraphale (they also mentioned other two things he may have tempted him to do but i can’t remember that now) for basically, well, tempting him into doing things he wouldn’t have done otherwise.

i was so surprised to see that (and how many people agreed) given that i’ve never considered that crowley was actually tempting aziraphale. he said it, angels can’t be tempted. no shouldn’t, or mustn’t, but can’t. as if it’s not possible for them to be tempted. so when aziraphale says “are you trying to tempt me?” i’ve always assumed he was trying to evade responsibility. it’s easier, as an angel, to convince himself that he’s not actually the one giving into those earthly pleasures, but being “pushed” into them. if anything, he was tempted but in the human sense of the word.

sorry for ranting in your asks. i wanted to make this as a post but as i said, i haven’t read the book yet (and it’s been a while since my last rewatch) so i could be missing/forgetting something.

hi anon my love!!!✨ no worries at all, i love a good ask!!! as for getting to the book - everyone who watches the show first and then reads the book gets to it in their own time!!! in the meantime, perfectly happy to answer!!!💕

okay - does crowley explicitly tempt aziraphale into trying food? so first off, the job minisode is not canon to the book - the book doesn't have any flashback scenes at all where aziraphale and crowley are concerned; we get snippets, like when they talk about the origins of the arrangement, but that's about it*. whilst (iirc) there is no mention of how aziraphale first came by trying food, crowley influence or no, crowley does - relatively tongue-in-cheek - tempt him into eating thereafter though:

*and unrelated, fair warning for when you do get round to the book; there's a lot of dialogue and scenes that were extended/elaborated on in the show that aren't in the book, too. we never see the heaven/hell trials from s1, for example.

as for the interpretation of aziraphale being tempted, im gonna offer up my thoughts behind a couple of crucial bits that i interpret to be temptations, including the ox-rib. the way i look at it is this: there is the argument that temptation is a neutral concept; you can be tempted into something good just as much as something bad, and it's still ultimately up to the temptee whether or not they do it. however, there's also the point to consider that it can depend on the motivation behind the tempter, and also whether it really is true free will when you're essentially being persuaded into something.

i definitely interpret the ox-rib as a temptation in this sense. setting aside the sexual subtext for a minute, crawly entices aziraphale to try wine, aziraphale refuses, and crowley leaves it. crawly then tries with the ox-rib, aziraphale accepts, and crawy looks satisfied that he does. the fact that crawly looks proud/smug/satisfied about it says to me that he has a sense of 'winning'. whether you interpret this as crowley taking it as a victory for himself personally, or as a victory for hell vs. heaven, is debatable, but personally i think the former. i don't think crawly is doing it for any higher purpose than perhaps a sense of having the upper hand, and the satisfaction of it. which then takes me to the dialogue.

"a: are you... trying to /tempt/ me?" says to me that aziraphale has just recognised what crawly is doing. given the slight veneer of distrust that exists still between then (distrust that very steadily erodes over the course of the minisode, i hasten to add), it makes sense that aziraphale would jump to that conclusion. aziraphale is an angel, and a righteous one at that; it wouldn't do for him to be persuaded to something put before him by a demon, of all people (!).

"c: not at all; angels can't be tempted, can you?" "a: certainly not." says to me that it's not a case of angels being literally invulnerable to temptation, but instead that crawly is very aware of aziraphale's mindset - that angels are superior beings, and they won't succumb to such base trickery like a demonic temptation. aziraphale quickly agrees that of course they can't be tempted, they are agents of the almighty! demons are lesser! - and crawly capitalises on it; aziraphale's steadfast belief in angels being so superior that a temptation is beneath them, there's no way that such a mediocre power would hold over aziraphale himself, and therefore angels have no weaknesses in this respect, is the gateway into getting aziraphale to do actually do it.

"c: well, there you are then. you're free to try the food." then says to me that not only does crawly take advantage of aziraphale's naivety and, frankly, brainwashed belief that there's no way he or any angel can be tricked or tempted by anyone so low as a demon, but he also frames it in such a way that - 'hey! you're not falling for a demon's evil tricks! im perfectly powerless in the face of your mightiness, o' angel of the lord, so it's completely up to you whether you try the food.' obviously, aziraphale does, and... well, we know what happens in the millennia afterwards as far as aziraphale's penchant for tasty treats is concerned.

temptation is, imo, most effective when the tempted is already wavering on whether or not to do something; all the tempter would essentially would have to do is give the illusion that the obstacle preventing them has been removed. in this case, you could look at it like crawly has removed the obstacle of aziraphale refusing to try the food because it's a demon offering it; 'angels can't be tempted, so im no different to a human offering it to you instead!'. ultimately, angels eating is not the done thing, but aziraphale is halfway there anyway (it's not like wine, where it causes sinful over-indulgence by way of drunkenness), and crawly posits the action as food being innocuous by comparison, "you can't get drunk on food". as a result, aziraphale - now mollified that this is his own free will - eats.

the issue is that, whilst understandable as to why, i do think crowley has also used temptation as intentional manipulation, and/or to benefit himself. the main one i take issue with, and i struggle to interpret as anything other than as a poorly-judged, arguably horrific temptation, is the 'killing the antichrist' business:

+ the subsequent dialogue after this. aziraphale shakes it off* - to me, its because the thought never even crossed his mind, and it never crossed his mind because he considers it incredibly reprehensible thing to do. he gives a pretty lukewarm response of "ive never actually... killed... anything... i can't- i don't think i could...", which whilst not exactly expressing where his moral compass faces (ie. he doesn't protest 'but that's an evil, wrong thing to do!'), crowley presses on with all the reasons why he should. aziraphale changes the subject, and comes up with the plan to gatecrash the hellhound party instead.

*again, fair warning, this whole thing happens a bit differently in the book!

at the bandstand, aziraphale refuses again - he mocks crowley for the suggestion, and then leans into the superiority complex again - that crowley should do it because he's a demon, and heaven should not have blood on its hands. im under no illusions that aziraphale appreciates why the option has merit - he's not stupid - but this is an aziraphale that is not only squirming under heaven's thumb, but also one that i think is repulsed by the suggestion, and doesn't want to acknowledge why this may be a problem where his feelings for crowley are concerned. he's not on heaven's side, not really, but is very much hoping that the alternative option of beseeching to the almighty herself will do the trick - that an authority higher than gabriel &co. will see the light. and then at the airbase, aziraphale bows to the option because he's run out of all others - attempts to shoot adam - and tracy quite rightly draws the line... and killing children is one you just don't cross.

the reason i consider this to be manipulative, and immoral, is not so much that the figurative line is killing children - it's an awful, horrendous action, but in crowley's shoes i can understand his reasoning - it's the fact that he tries to tempt aziraphale into doing it in the first place. the literal act of tempting here, for me, is the horrible bit on crowley's part.

look - thinking logically about crowley's situation here, crowley can't be seen to be stopping armageddon in its tracks. but aziraphale, so far as they know, would be thwarting a hellish scheme if he did it - and so it would ultimately need to be aziraphale to do it... if they're to both have a chance of getting out of it alive. but crowley doesn't communicate this, he doesn't explain this or any other reasoning to aziraphale as to why crowley can't do it. without this explanation, to me, it strays beyond temptation and into coercion - and idk but attempting to coerce someone you care for, perhaps even love, into killing a child and not being transparent as to why is not cool to me.

the last one that also makes me wince a bit - and im sorry if this ruffles some feathers - is the kiss. as you can tell, this is an old post and very much in the immediate aftermath of s2 (so emotions were very high). id like to think my thoughts on the kiss have... mellowed? a bit since then - certainly a tad more nuanced and balanced than calling crowley childish (i wince a bit at this post now lmao) - but my principle feelings on the kiss being a temptation are near enough the same:

because from crowley's perspective? totally get it. desperation, last-ditch effort to make aziraphale understand, and maybe... yeah, trying to make him stay. he loves him desperately, so it makes sense. from aziraphale's perspective? this is what i think he 'forgives' crowley for, and why his face just drops partway through processing the kiss itself, before settling into anger, even maybe a bit of... revulsion? idk, but the dialogue of the ox-rib scene will always spin around in my head like a rotisserie chicken during this scene, because it genuinely feels like the kiss was meant to mirror it. i can't remember who came up with the post that said it (please link if you know it!), but one of the biggest shifts in my head post-s2 is when aziraphale touches his lips; "he didn't know he was starving." so yeah, to me, it's a temptation.

im slightly more conflicted as to whether i consider it immoral. on one hand, my logical brain wins out; whilst i recognise it was how crowley had to communicate in his desperation... aziraphale didn't ask for it, and it wasn't proposed to him - he didnt have any choice in the kiss. it was landed on him, in the midst of heartbreak and vast emotional turmoil, without prior consent or even a warning, and i think crowley knew when he broke away that it didn't work. that being said - aziraphale absolutely reciprocated it after the initial shock, that can't be denied, and didn't push crowley away/struggle during the kiss. i don't think that justifies it, personally, but that's just my opinion. the only thing i am personally certain on is that whilst i firmly believe it had no outright malicious intent behind it, it was a frantic and erratic action, intended to tempt aziraphale into staying. i think aziraphale realises this, and is understandably angry as a result (because, lets be real, it worked in tempting him to stay, or at least made the whole separation for him utterly soul-destroying); even at a very base level, being temptable is knowledge only crowley has, and he's arguably used it against aziraphale into making him do something he doesn't want to do.

however, anon, there's so many facets to all of these scenes, and this is just one of them (imo anyway). happy to discuss further if you so have the inclination, but even if this response wasn't what you were necessarily looking for, i hope it's at least put one side of the argument out there!!!✨💕

#good omens #ask #s1 meta #s2 meta #crowley meta #aziraphale meta #flashback meta #feral domestic/final fifteen meta

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eeblouissant · 5 months ago

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hii !! @witchybitchybisexual tagged me a while back to answer some tgg questions, and I’ve finally gotten around to it haha! Thank you soso much I had lots of fun with this :D (under the cut so I don’t clog anyones tl)

1. How did you find out about the show?

I was raised on it! My mother always (and I mean always. I’m very grateful she kept all her DVDs in such good condition so that I can rewatch!) had it on in the background when I was little, my great grandma too I believe. (I’m also convinced Bea Arthur was my gay awakening, i used to sit and stare for hoursss lol)

2. One storyline you'd eliminate?

Listen … there are so many but. I feel like you all already know what I’m about to say - firstly, the bit where Dorothy almost marries Stan again. I’d get rid of many of the Stan storylines (and get him much further away from Dorothy, honestly it’s a little upsetting to see him near her at all but maybe I’m just overly sensitive when it comes to the things Dorothy’s been through because of him? He shouldn’t have been a reoccurring character imo.) but that one especially. I can understand the need for it, because it dives into a part of Dorothy’s character that I find very interesting and that I love expanding on, but god it just hurt my heart way too much. He makes me very upset and I’m just a viewer - so I can’t imagine what it would be like for someone to actually have to put up with him. I really think I’m just overly sensitive because of the subject matter but oh well 😅. Anyway - that and, I’d change how the show ended. And not in the way you think !!!! I think it was crucial that Dorothy got her fairytale ending, she deserved it more than anyone (sorry rose, blanche, sophia) after the way she’s always treated, even if it’s not really meant, she deserved to hold that over their heads. I wouldn’t change a thing about that. But I would change that exit scene, where she isn’t able to respond to roses’ “is this goodbye?” It is goodbye. It shouldn’t have been goodbye - I hated that they ended it that way so badly. And the affect is seen later in the golden palace (they don’t even patch things up really!!!!!! It was so horribly done imo!!!! Maybe I’m just bitter I’m not sure 😭)

3. Best guest star/character?

The two times Sophia’s sister appears are my favourites, so I’ll have to go with her 😂

Also - I’m forgetting his name at the moment, but the trans man that made an appearance in that one episode. The way he was never misgendered or deadnamed!! that episode has a very special place in my heart!!! (Jean as well, that episode is also a huge comfort. But I don’t think I need to say that - it’s kind of implied)

4. Character you most relate to?

Dorothy and Rose equally 🚶🏻‍♀️ but is this really a shock at this point lol

5. Favourite character?

Rose !!!!!! You may think otherwise but she will forever be my favourite. She’s just too relatable, I see a lot of myself (unmasked) in her and it brings me a lot of comfort. Shes actually helped me start to be okay with the idea of unmasking a little more outside of the house. I love her soooo so much.

6. Favourite story of a cast member?

This one kind of involves all of them? So I hope it counts, but learning that the crew were the photos in the ‘men of blanches boudoir’ episode 😂 hilarious!! I can’t remember if the girls were expecting it, I hope it all came as a surprise because their reactions seemed genuine!

7. Which was the episode that got you hooked?

I can’t really answer this one because I’ve always loved the show, simply because I grew up on it 😅 my mum & I have a very similar dynamic to Sophia and Dorothy, so I actually think that’s what kept me hooked; the emotions and memories attached! And then of course growing up and picking up on how queer coded those three are, good lord.

8. You could wear one girl's wardrobe for the rest of your life, who would you pick?

Sophia and Rose, no hesitation. Dorothy is too tall and flowy for me (I’m 5’2, no way I’m pulling her wardrobe off lol), Blanche is too, well, Blanche 😭 although I do adore her wardrobe, it’s just definitely not for me (I will however be stealing her robes & housecoats immediately)

9. How many kids do you think they all actually had?

Okay, I know Dorothy for sure only had two. That’s talked about lots. Blanche had four? Because she’s only ever talked about having four, possibly adopting? And Rose, I’m actually unsure, does she ever say it outright 😅? I’d guess three or four. I know we see one or two of her kids but otherwise I’m unsure.

10. Do you think the actresses would've gotten along with their characters if they met in real life?

Why/Why not?

Sophia and Estelle would be two peas in a pod and I stand by that. They both just have this way about them that makes me think it wouldn’t turn out any other way haha

hhhhmmmm … I think that Dorothy and Bea would be able to relate on a different level for sure. Cheating husbands, very specific insecurities (until Bea was a little older that is. Her confidence was contagious!) fashion choices, similar opinions on how comfortable shoes actually are lol - but I feel like Dorothy is a little too much of a romantic. That might have thrown them off. Bea was also a very shy person, and Dorothy is a little more bold. That would have gone one of two ways I think! Either Dorothy ends up being her scary guard dog or they clash for all the wrong reasons 😂

Rose and Betty? I don’t have much to say other than, again, it would have gone one of two ways and been very black and white 😂 either they’re hitting it off, or never speaking again.

Rue mentions once that shes all Blanche with the exception of not being from Atlanta Georgia, and friends of hers have mentioned that she had a hard time shaking Blanche off after the show ended - so, I’d say they’re practically twins 😅 they’d question if they were related!

11. What are your other comfort shows?

The crown! (special interest, you know how it goes), I don’t watch much, because I always fear getting too absorbed in media and developing another fixation 😭 it’s also just hard when I’ve got such intense interests going on. I can’t delve into new media because it’s almost overwhelming? Idk can’t explain that one. Anyway, talk to me about the crown and I’ll marry you on the spot (/j)

12. Headcanons? (Feel free to list as many as you'd like)

Oh BOY. Oh here we go. You’ve all seen many of my headcanons by now so this might get repetitive, but I’ll list some anyway:

First off, because oh my god I think about it daily, Blanche has a natural tan!! Partly because she lays out in the sun so often but I also see her just being born with it. Something about it suits her so well! She gets a tiny bit paler in the winter but in the summer she’s almost unrecognizable (Thank you Blanche for adding some colour to the group lmao, those ladies are white !!!!)

I headcanon strongly that Rose is autistic. Or at the very least neurodivergent somehow (definitely autistic, but you get my point) - as an autistic person she reminds me a lot of myself when I’m unmasked and it’s actually really lovely unintentional representation! I feel so seen by her!

Honestly, a lot of what I would want to headcanon about Dorothy is already canon (her chronic illness, depression, hearing aid etc) but one thing I do headcanon her dealing with that isn’t explicitly stated is dissociation. It would come naturally with that one really awful thing that I won’t name that happened to her - and having to them live with Stanley for 38 years after the fact? I believe dissociation became less of a concern to her and more of a very, very dear friend. Anyway, I’ve rambled on that a million times so I’ll spare you all 😅

I also headcanon that Dorothy is an extremely repressed lesbian, be it her religion or, again, the very awful thing that shall not be named, etc - there’s something about the way she treads so carefully around the topic of lesbianism that just … yeah. We know Dorothy. It’s okay. I headcanon blanche being bisexual, since it’s kind of hinted at once or twice? Or like? Straight up implied? Cut to all the times she just happened to ask Dorothy to “help her out” or pick between her and rose lmao. I can see rose being pan or bi as well, but I think I headcanon her being unlabelled honestly! She just wants to love and be loved, if she loves someone, she loves them!

Honestly, I don’t have many headcanons for Sophia - she’s perfect as she is 😂 10/10 no notes!

13. What would you change (if anything) about the show/ characters if it was set in the modern day?

Again, how it ended, and in this case because of the insane amount of queer coding and subtext - need I say more? I can’t see this show being set in modern times, I honestly think it would ruin the vibe 😅

14. Which other Fictional Characters would you like each one of the golden girls to meet?

oh lord okay, I’ve saved this one for last because I’m actually not sure? I don’t think I can answer this one but I’ll edit and add if anything comes to mind later 😅

15. Who were your favourite duo?

Rose and Dorothy!!!! Although it’s very hard to separate the four, rose and Dorothy always had the most precious scenes.

16. Who should've got more 1:1 screen time with each other?

Rose and Dorothy 😭😭 pleassseeeee oh my god

16. Calmest season?

Two I think!

17. Most chaotic season?

Seven or three - season seven felt rushed, so it felt chaotic in a way I hated, but season three was so filled with lore and things that it felt chaotic for all the right reasons!

18. Favorite Season?

Three and four!

19. If the girls hadn't had their established careers, what other ones could you picture them doing?

Well firstly I’d give Dorothy her antique shop dream, obviously. I cant not see Blanche doing something with the arts… if she really put her mind to it I think she would make an incredible artist. & rose … hhhmmm. Maybe a preschool or kindergarten teacher! (Sophia is exempt here, let the woman rest lol she’s much to old to be working)

20. Best aspects of the show in your opinion?

All the different kinds of representation! How much it leaned into topics that were otherwise considered kind of swept under the rug. There’s been a billion posts made explaining this already though so I’m sure I don’t need to talk anyone’s ear off about it 😅

21. This question is for my fellow cheesecake lovers) favourite cheesecake flavour?

Ohhhh strawberry has to be my favourite.

22. Storyline you wished they had expanded upon?

Okay this is going to sound silly so bare with me, but that time Sophia got a job (dressed up in that pirate costume) - they never expanded on it, in fact she kind of disappeared for the rest of the episode!!!! I have to know what on earth was going on there 😭!!!

23. Questions you'd ask the actresses?

Honestly, if they actually got along. Because there have been rumours and things. (and then, you know. The Thing Rue Said that Bea had said about Betty because of the way she was picking on Estelle. And also Betty admitting that Bea was never too fond of her. I just have to know!) id also ask Bea Arthur specifically what she thought of the possible queer subtext around Dorothy’s character - I have a feeling she’d be fond of it actually 😂

24. Episode that brings you the most comfort?

Any episode that isn’t from the end of season 7 😭 I don’t think I can pick just one

25. Episode that made you laugh the hardest?

The episode where Dorothy sleeps with (or well, attempts to. We all know how that went) stans brother. I could write an essay on that one but oh my GOD I was laughing so hard at the parts that weren’t ripping my heart out!!!

26. Which other work that the actresses did you enjoy the most?

You’re asking me to pick only one of Bea Arthur’s other works???? I’d have to say Maude I think, basic answer I know - but oh my god I love her 😭 I’ll have to say Maude for Rue as well. The Beatrice Arthur special is Very close behind her though. & Betty - hhhmmm. Probably Password (if it counts?)

27. Best St Olaf Story?

The Great herring war hands down - I CANNOT with that scene 😂😂 when rue started to giggle I knew exactly what was about to go down - BEA lost composure, and I’d imagine that’s a hard thing to get her to do!!!!

28. Best slut story?

does this count I’m not sure … but I’m very very fond of that little moment where rose and dorothy are recalling different men Blanche has told them stories about to ask if they’re true (after she admitted that she tends to over exaggerate sometimes) like oh my god. They actually remember all the nonsense Blanche tells them 😂 I can’t !!!!

29. Best Sicily story?

The Pablo Picasso story !!!! Oh my god I think about it daily !!!!!!

30. Which girl would you be most interested in seeing a prequel of? And at which point in their life?

Young Dorothy !!!!!! OH MY GOD !!! She should have had her own show I’m so serious!!!!! The fact that she didn’t get a spin-off is a crime - I don’t know how that never happened. I’m so fascinated by her and how she survived back then. I need all the details big and small or I might (will, I will) die

#thank you so much again for this fun little game :D we need more of these here !!!!#the golden girls #personal #tag games

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