#amused bc that's hilariously SAD

[radioactive-earthshine]

Google still says Bart is gay and I am still banking on some illiterate DC writer and editor to accidentally make him come out 💀

[jamminvroomvroom]

no more mister shy guy.

OP x fem!reader

in which you can’t work out why he just won’t sleep with you

i am neither normal, nor am i hinged! i hope you guys get the vision, i literally wrote this last night possessed by some feral urge bc i just love oscar sm and i’ve been needing to write for him sooo baaad. enjoy! pls lemme know what you think <3

songs to set the vibes: delicate by taylor swift, good looking by suki waterhouse, my kind of woman by max demarco, feeling myself by wolf alice

warnings: 18+!! minors dni!! smut, pwp but also there is some plot? overstimulation, crying in a hot way, choking, unprotected sex (L bozo don’t do that!) the most minor moment of angst, fluff

2.8k words

you watch him make coffee, daydreaming, balancing your heavy head on your hand. you study him while your free hand taps against the kitchen counter, nails drumming a random beat. sunlight streams through a gap in the curtains, framing him golden. you don’t think he knows how pretty he is.

oscar is oblivious to the way your mind is ticking behind him, twisting the cap on the carton of oat-milk. you hear the plastic fall onto the counter and your tongue wets your lower lip as he reaches up into the cupboard, his back flexing beneath his shirt as he finds your favourite mug. you realise then how swollen your lip is, snapped out of the trance he had you in, the one that had you biting your lip so hard, completely mindlessly.

he’s bulked up over the winter break, filled out a lot over the course of his rookie season. he’s no longer the scrawny, anxious guy you’d met at your fathers work event a year ago, he’s broader, thicker in your hands, utterly delicious. as much as you like the way he looks, you like his mind a whole lot more. if only you knew what was going on inside it.

oscar is an enigma, quiet, hilariously dry, the kindest man you’d ever had the pleasure of meeting. you’ve been together since the start of the winter break, november, after awkward run ins and plenty of pining since the start of his first season. you’d travel to races with your dad, a mclaren sponsor, and run into the australian, stare at each other and pretend no one noticed. after months of teasing from lando, oscar finally got the kick up the arse that he needed and you’d said yes to dinner before he’d even finished asking the question.

it’s february now, a week til he needs to be in bahrain. the last three months had been serene, spent with a man made of sunshine, and you’re sad to see him go, as if you won’t be in the emirates a mere four days after him. you fear the way you’ll ache for him, having been inseparable since the dinner that started it all.

but then again, it can’t be worse than the way you ache for him now.

“sweetheart?” oscar is waving his hand in front of your face when you realise he’s been calling your name for a good 15 seconds, and you have, in fact, been staring. hm? you jump, staring at him bewildered. he looks amused. “you okay?” he coos, sliding the coffee across the island towards you.

“yeah, sorry, i, um, i just- why won’t you have sex with me?” you blurt, slapping your hand over your mouth as soon as you realise what you’ve just said.

oscar just blinks, mouth forming a little o, the permanent blush he seems to have increasing tenfold. you instantly feel guilty for ambushing him, but you were at the end of your tether. three months of nothing, nada, zilch. every move you made was refuted, ignored as if he was oblivious. you were ravenous for him, he’s so gorgeous! and you didn’t want to pressure him, but you were starting to feel like there was something wrong with you.

you’d wake up in bed with him wrapped around you, grinding against your ass in his sleep, and you’d revel in it, the rare times that he actually seemed to want you like that. you loved him regardless, of course you did, but you’d be lying if you said you didn’t need to be… dealt with. urgently.

“i- um- what?” oscar splutters, and the bottom of his mug blinks against the granite.

“is there something wrong with me? am i not pretty enough?” you whisper, shy. “do you just not… like- do you not want to do that?” you ramble.

panic fills his face, and he’s rushing around the island, by your side in an instant. he takes your hands into his, finding your eyes. they’ve grown watery, a mixture of guilt and desperation swirling in them which makes him feel ill.

“baby, no, god no.” he rushes the words out, desperate to convince you that it wasn’t you. “you’re the most beautiful person in the entire world, prettiest girl i ever saw.” he promises. “i’m just… it’s scary.”

“oh, osc.” your face falls, and you want to throw yourself off of the balcony. “i’m sorry, i didn’t mean to pressure you. if it makes you feel better, i’m scared too. but i love you so much, i just want to feel even closer to you.”

“you didn’t make me feel pressured, i’m just sorry i made you feel unwanted. trust me, i want you like that. drives me insane. but i’ve never had sex before with someone that i love. not the way i love you, anyway. scared that i won’t be good enough for you.” he murmurs.

you’re hung up on the part where you drive him crazy, the part where he loves you like that, and then you remember how vulnerable he’s being, baring his entire soul to you, and you rip yourself from the fantasy.

your hands smooth over his shoulders, until you’re softly fisting a clump of hair at the nape of his neck.

“i love you. insanely. we’ll go slow.” you state. he moulds further against you, and you quickly realise it’s for leverage, because the next thing you know, you’re in his arms. he has his hands hooked under your thighs and he’s kissing you so, so deeply that you’re dizzy. you don’t realise that you’re halfway to his bedroom until he pulls away.

“i don’t wanna go slow anymore.”

oscar places you on your feet at the end of his bed, the large, plush king-sized mattress that is currently calling both of your names. your blouse gets unbuttoned first, his hands shaking in a way that makes you melt, and his lips trail over every inch of bare skin that he uncovers. when it finally falls to the floor, his pupils are blown wide, his hands palming intricate black lace. your jeans are stripped away mercilessly, his hands shaking less now, and you take it as a sign to crawl backwards onto the bed.

he stands there, watching you, apprehensive again. you can see how hard he is, how desperately strained his cock is through the light grey of his sweatpants, and so you switch tactics. your hand grazes your tummy, skimming up your abdomen until you reach a bra strap. you toy with the elastic, holding the kind of eye contact that makes him twitch, tugging it until it hangs loosely off of your shoulder.

“i need you, osc. i trust you.” you utter, soft and enticing. one finger runs under the cup of your bra, flicking over your nipple. he can just about see the hardened bud through the lace of your bra. it’s not enough, though, and every ounce of self control depletes when you whine, “want you inside of me so badly.”

the elastic band snaps and he’s on top of you, rutting between your legs like a man starved. you drag his shirt up and over his shoulder blades, moaning as you feel each and every muscle under your fingertips.

“just wanna make you feel good.” oscar rasps, rolling his hips even harder into your core.

“take these off.” you beg, pulling at the waistband of his joggers. he somehow musters the strength to pry himself off of you, just long enough to discard the uncomfortable material of his sweats, but as soon as he looks down, his plans change.

painted over the crotch of them is a shiny pool of your slick, and when his eyes flit hungrily to your core, he sees where you’ve soaked through your panties. you’re panting when you see the stain, and you just want to get him inside of you, but his priorities have changed. oscar collapses between your legs, head buried, tongue exploring.

he groans, carnal and needy, into the fabric of your underwear, laving his tongue over the lace. your eyes widen as he dives in, licking over the wet patch until he grows frustrated. you hear the tearing of the fabric, feel his big hands pawing at your thighs to spread them as wide as they’ll go. his tongue slides right inside of you and he whines. he fucking whines. the vibration nearly makes you scream. you can’t believe this is your oscar, the same oscar that had quivered with nerves a mere five minutes ago.

“oh my god.” you chant, rolling your hips against his face. you must be all over him by now, what with the way he’s sucking and slurping, obscene sounds of wetness sounding around the room. you’d be blushing a deep red if you weren’t so turned on, shaking against his bedspread which will probably need changing once he’s done with you.

you thought that maybe he was inexperienced and that was the source of his fear, but if he was, you never would have known. he was a natural in between your legs, nipping at your clit to get you even louder for him.

you cum faster than ever, and he’s mumbling something incoherent into your pussy when you do. you’re riding the high, midway through the bliss, when a thick finger slips its way inside of you. oscar realises that he can easily slide another in, and he does. he doesn’t thrust them in and out, he grinds them against your walls, and your mouth falls open as a silent scream forces it’s way out.

you cum a second time, in record time yet again, and he still doesn’t let up. he’s hitting that spot relentlessly with his fingers, keeping your clit between his swollen lips, and you’re begging him. for what, you’re not sure, but you’re whimpering his name like you’re going to die. and what a good way to go this would be.

his eyes meet yours, and he looks unhinged. that’s when you feel it. that all consuming, belly twisting rush.

“oscar!” you try to warn him, but it’s too late, and he knows it. he makes you squirt, because of course he does. the shy guy who was scared that he wouldn’t be able to please you makes you squirt.

he pulls his mouth off of you but keeps his fingers buried deep, eyes fixed on watching the way your pussy convulses.

“holy shit.” you cry. you’re staring down at him like you’ve gone insane. he’s smiling innocently.

“was that good?” he almost sounds shy and you want to kick him.

“are you… are you serious?” you rasp. oscar just shrugs. “get up here.” you reach for him and complies, slotting himself between your legs once more.

oscar resumes the rolls of his hips, and the friction of the grey fabric against your core makes your eyes roll back.

“please, oscar, fuck me.” you whine, his head falling into the crook of your neck. he bites down, leaving behind the sting of his teeth and a faint purple splotch.

“fucking love you.” he slurs, his accent thickening in a way that makes him sound that extra bit fucked out already.

“i love you.” you murmur, forcing his sweats down his legs. his boxers are wet, just like your panties were, and you can’t help but stare. oh, it’s big.

his boxers are peeled down and you can feel yourself throbbing. his cock hangs heavy, red and dripping, painfully hard. you reach for it, looking at him to make sure it’s okay to touch, and he’s rapidly nodding his head. your small hand struggles but you make it work, and his head tips back, exposing his thick neck that you want to suck purple. your hand works over him a few times, and a visible shiver running through his body makes you stop.

“you ready for me?” he asks through gritted teeth.

“please.” you gasp, locking your legs around his waist. “however you want me, ‘m yours.” you breathe.

oscar’s eyes roll back in his head, your words sending his brain blank, and then he’s pushing home, slow and deep.

“fucking hell.” he groans, guttural. you’re so tight, warm, soaking wet. he feels like the biggest idiot in the world for waiting so long for this.

“oh.” you gasp, your eyebrows knitting together. he’s so deep. “so full.” you pant.

“can you take it, sweetheart?” oscar’s lips bump your jaw. “want you to take it.” you nod profusely, desperate to hear him run his mouth even further. your eyes clench shut when you feel him move, just the tiniest bit, readjusting.

“move.” you plead. he’s staring down at you, watching every single micro movement of your face.

oscar pulls out the smallest bit and thrusts back in, nice and slow. the drag drives you feral, the weight of him on top of you makes you weak. you want to stay like this until the end of days.

“good?” he hisses, trying to keep composed. he’s finally inside of you, claiming you as his in the most intimate way of all. he tries not to think about how many times he could have had you begging under him in the last three months.

“so good, so good.” you repeat, pushing your hips up to try and meet his.

“so pretty like this for me. always so, so pretty.” he rambles. he realises that he never quite made it as far as getting your bra off, and he needs to see all of you. the cups are tugged haphazardly down, and oscar stares at your breasts like he’s never seen tits before. you hear him hum, low and greedy, and then you feel the wet drag of his tongue across your nipple.

the animalistic whine that he rips from you makes him thrust harder, upping his pace a bit. he can hear how much wetter you get when he picks up his pace, and he changes up his rhythm, pushing all the way in and dragging out again at lightning speed. your jaw goes slack and your eyes are damp.

“baby, what’s wrong?” oscar slows to a stop, and you want to scream.

“no, no, no, keep going.” you choke out, your throat constricting with a sob. “it’s so good. feel so good.” you sound drunk, all for him, and he loses his mind completely.

he taps into that athletic stamina, fucking into you with a newfound vigour that you didn’t think was humanly possible, and you feel things that you didn’t even know you could feasibly feel. you see stars behind your eyes, his face, and nothing else but bright white. calloused fingers find your clit, and you wonder fleetingly if he’s trying to kill you when he rubs messy shapes into the much too overstimulated bud. his teeth graze your nipple, and everything seems to come together perfectly.

thick tears run hot down your cheeks, only to be licked away by eager tongue. your belly tightens, aflame for him; he’s wound your body up perfectly and you’ve never in your life teetered so dangerously over the edge.

“can feel you, baby. want you to cum, okay? ‘n then i’m gonna fill you up.” oscar grunts. you clamp down on him even tighter, thanking god for oscar’s filthy fucking mouth and birth control, and then everything snaps.

you think you scream, you know that you’re sobbing, and your throat is raw when the wave hits. oscar keeps going, intensifying your pleasure, and when he finally let’s go, it’s the most beautiful fucking thing you’ve ever seen. it’s surreal, the way his neck flexes, eyes clenched tight, brown locks flopping over his sweat damped forehead. and the sounds he makes, god. he’s muttering into your ear, lewd and shameless, and a fifth orgasm nearly takes you under.

“gonna need you everyday like this, tight fucking pussy, all mine. can’t live without this now. fucking perfect.” he’s rambling, burrowing deep into you one last time. you feel his warmth spilling into you, feel his hot breath fanning your face. he licks into your awaiting mouth.

“fuck.” you giggle, breathless.

“good?” he raises an eyebrow, grinning bashfully.

“more than worth the wait.” you whisper, mustering the strength to lift your head just enough so that you can peck his lips. “you better not hold out on me ever again though.” oscar laughs at that and you feel the rumble in your flushed chest.

“you promise?” there’s the shy guy again.

“osc, honey, that was the best. ever. ever. need you to be mr sex god more often.”

“only if you behave for me.” he smirks down at you.

“there he is.” you sigh happily.

when he snakes his way back between your legs, lapping up the mess he’s made, and then some, you wonder just what you’ve unleashed.

-

whoops? lol

-

taglist

@thegirlinthefandoms @mcmuppet @japanesekel @vinvantae @ggaslyp1 @dr3lover @smiithys  @rachstash @infinitebells @fizzpopsnap101 @gaily19 @icecoldtires @mysticalnightenthusiast @thatchickwiththecamera @oyesmendes @disneydaydreameralways @canyouseethesainz @ferrarifwendvale @fcbformulaeri @tony-stank3 @maih23 @nokiaholland @soleilgrec @carolineworld @anthonykatebridgerton @allywthsr @iamasimpingh0e @ophcelia @lovelynikol16 @coffeehurricanes @jennx03 @blueflorals @lqvesoph @sidcrosbyspuck @better-dead-than-smeg @buendiabebeta @pjofics @kovalcin @wintergilmore3 @for-writing-shit @youdontknowmeshh @im-an-overthinker @jule239 @darleneslane @jazzy722 @weasleyswizarding-wheezes @therealone4r @pleasecallmeunhinged @theonlyadrienne @spideylovin @charli123456789

(run outta space on my taglist lol, lemme know if u wanna be added or removed)

[badartxd]

This has literally taken me a couple of weeks now, which is funny bc it was initially going to be a doodley comic but I ended up having fun with the lighting and then procrastinating on drawing Zevran’s fire and rendering his face for 2 days instead… so yeah. I’ll ramble a bunch now.

So! Pardon the jumbled words but this has lived in my head rent free for a month at least! Vasylysa isn’t suuuuper stoked to be out of her element and around so many people she’s unused to, and gets through the first few weeks avoiding socializing with her teammates, aside from maybe Barkspawn. She does, however, like observing, and spends quite a bit of time off to the edge of camp taking little notes and doodling things around her. (Which is also why her image is so much darker! She sits away from the fire, at the tree line.) Which…. Admittedly kinda creepy maybe, but I don’t reckon the Circle is well known for good social skills, especially for ND mages. She is content with staying unseen and minding her business, and captures some things from around camp - Alistair dozing off with Barkspawn, lulled to sleep by Leliana’s songs (I think it’d be of some comfort, given his upbringing. Also Vasya is guilty of that too, Ferelden is rubbing off on her), Morrigan reading what seems to be a grimoire(where did it come from?), Leliana jamming to some tunes with the Fat Lute they picked up from Bodahn(you can really hear the Orlesian in her singing voice), Sten looking over the fire with a bit of a softer, more melancholic and introspective expression than he usually permits (he must miss home, surely), and the newcomer rogue… he almost looks… sad? Which nearly catches her off guard, given his outwardly disposition the past few days. The doodle comes out almost automatically, as she looks up and back down at the page, adding the finishing touches to the eyes. Once she looks up again, the eyes meet hers, the rogue’s face donning a smirk that almost certainly was not there before.

I’m both uncertain and amused about the face I ended up giving Vasya here - she looks absolutely mortified, and she would be, but by the Maker, she takes things a little too seriously. Also, she should really have known better than to spy on an assassin who also happens to be the only other person in camp who’s capable of seeing in the dark. It’s funny, because in truth, both of them are fairly uneasy in their position, Zevran is just much better at masking it with a smile and a wink. That and the Warden’s reaction itself is hilarious and who knows, perhaps he is also flattered?

Ok thanks for reading here’s a close up xD

[cenvast]

Hello it’s the kabru x toshiro anon again! AAAH i love your answers thank u so so much!! I adore the way u approach both of them without making them feel out of character its so good!

U saying that kabru would be giddy about toshiro wanting to marry him made me laugh cuz i imagine both of them trying not to act like 2 teenagers deeply in love (and failing at trying to suppress it lol lol)

side note i instantly thought of that wedding scene from Up where one family is happy and excited while the other family is super duper calm and stoic

absolutely dying at the idea of one of them coming through the door holding up a 16-year-old and saying “we’re dads now!” while the other one does a spit-take

funny thought of kabru's party also being present in this kid's life like they r aunts and uncles. uncle mickbell wouldnt be a good influence lmaoo

but also sad thinking about kabru visibly getting panicky or nervous from ptsd :( i wonder if toshiro would figure out how to calm him down

that’s all the thoughts i have rn! Love love love the way u approach both of them and explore their characters beyond laios, i adore seeing some love given to toshiro considering sum people are… strange with him. Thank u again for answering and thank you for the kabshiro food im eating it all up!!!

omg I'm eating good today, too. TY for feeding me with your lovely hcs!! and it's so nice to hear your follow-up. it's always such a high compliment when y'all like my characterizations <3 i lowkey reread every manga scene with either of them before writing my kabshiro meta post to make sure i got it right lolll

LOL real, it is hilarious imagining them acting like teenagers w their first crushes /affectionate bc by the time they'd be getting married, they'd be like 27 and 31 prbly lmfao. ig that's what happens when you don't let yourself be emotionally vulnerable w anyone until you're well into your twenties dslkjflsdj

the up scene is fantastic. each other's families being their new in-laws... amusing, chaotic thought

and yes exactly! if children happen for them, i want them to be thrust into parenting a teenager right off the bat lollll

i love love the idea of kabru's party being like family for their kid. uncle mickbell is truly a terrifying concept... at least, the rest of them would be fairly normal(?) though i can see holm being a sleeper agent of chaos and teaching the kid gnomish swears and feigning innocence afterwards

yeah :( fr justice for kabru. toshiro would def have to learn how to handle kabru's ptsd episodes bc i doubt he's ever seen good models for supporting people with panic disorders/anxiety/similar mental health issues before, but after consulting with others, i think he'd be able to support kabru by staying calm and present and doing the "name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, etc." exercise with him. the first real struggle in kabru's healing journey will be getting him to admit that he's not okay :sob:

and LOL anon, i see you... and i hear you and i agree with you. free my asian kings from that white man

[shioritsumi]

Actor AU SVSSS but slightly different....

A drama for PIDW is in the works, and they've got a great talented cast! They even have the mysterious famous star Zhao Xiao starring as Shen Qingqiu, and a new and upcoming star Luo Lixin as Luo Binghe!

Luo Lixin is new to show business and he tries his best to fit in and get accustomed to the job, but canon Luo Binghe is hard for his tender insecure personality to wrap around. He constantly wonders about Bingge's own emotional journey and won't stop talking about his own headcanons about his own character.

Zhao Xiao, however.....he's well established in China as a talented, experienced, and VERY STRANGE MAN. People are constantly spreading rumors that he might be a vampire or smth bc they're pretty sure he's been acting for like a hundred years and the only thing that's changed is how long his hair is. He's lazy, he's affectionate, he's prone to random outbursts and giddy laughter, he plays the most serious dramatic characters with profound speeches and sad backstories and even villainous arcs-he has made it his personal goal to be the Tumblr sexyman of every show and movie he's in. He wants to be your problematic fave.

Zhao Xiao may also literally not be human. He makes references to having met Luo Binghe and encourages Luo Lixin frequently with his headcanons. The man may be a transmigrated character from the PIDW universe and he absolutely weaseled his way onto the set but no one knows why. He seems fixated on Luo Lixin, but whether it's bc he wants the young man or if he just wants to cultivate exactly his perfect impression of how Luo Binghe "should" be depicted is still unclear to everyone.

Especially Luo Lixin.

What he knows is he joined a drama cast and one of the other lead actors immediately took him under his wing and started giving him lots of advice and suggestions that seem to help??? He has a mentor! Right? Other members of the cast have asked directly if Zhao Xiao is trying to groom him for some reason but Luo Lixin refuses to believe it and Zhao Xiao is so amused by the idea that he won't even dignify it with a proper response aside from laughing until they change the subject. (He is of the opinion that if Lixin WANTED a relationship he wouldn't be opposed but people assuming he's trying to groom the 20-year old into a relationship by....giving him advice about the field he has excelled at for the past 50+ years so he can do his job better....that's some hilarious shit.)

Luo Lixin literally having a backstory similar to Luo Binghe and still being on set as a literal ray of sunshine.

Zhao Xiao wonders if perhaps this guy is also a half demon? NAH....that'd be funny but those don't exist here lol that'd be hilarious.....unless. NAH, of course not, in this world all magic exists only in fairy tales. Of course he also has magic so. NAH that's a fluke of transmigration, of course Luo Lixin is a human and him having the same surname and playing Luo Binghe is a coincidence. Then again, what were the odds of him, a dragon from PIDW ending up in this world and playing a major character in the PIDW drama series? NAH none of that counts bc he forced himself into that role.

so wait

is this a coincidence or not that all this has come together all at once? He'll just play it close to the chest until he figures it out, and play his role as the shizun to his new Binghe to the best of his ability. He wonders if anyone else in the cast is also from PIDW too....he wasn't like an "important character" and his meetings with the main character didn't end well for him, but maybe he's not the only one. Surely Luo Binghe killed other demons or creatures that ended up here too? Or maybe he's reaching bc he's gotten bored of humans. Luo Lixin better be really interesting before he gives up on humanity again and decides to become a hermit again and sit out on the world for a few decades. He did that around the turn of the century and it didn't turn out too shabby....

[fallstreakfeathers]

Urogi Headcanons

bc I'm in love with he??? brainrotting so bad for this guy.

General:

Aizetsu helps preen the feathers Urogi can’t reach, mostly because Sekido won’t help and Karaku occasionally pulls the wrong feather (ow) for shits

He is not unintelligent, but definitely makes really dumb decisions based on how fun the result might be

He is the most ‘feral’ of the clones, operating and making decisions based mostly on instinct rather than logic- which greatly frustrates Sekido

Really bad at identifying his own feelings. If he were to ever grow attached to someone else (especially romantically) he wouldn’t understand it. He’d just know that he wants to be around that person a lot/etc.

Very easy to distract, and the most forgiving of a fight if you can distract or entertain him (”forgiving” in that he might not kill you afterward)

Urogi hates rain. It soaks his wings, preventing him from flying. The change in air density also makes flight difficult. He has been know to throw tantrums over rainstorms.

Despite a dislike of rain, he loves water in general. You can sometimes find him flapping about in a lake or pond like a massive bird bath

Better at soaring than active flying but is incredible at diving. Reaches surprising speeds.

Loves birds! Won’t ever hurt them but sometimes accidentally terrifies them when he tries to race once in the sky. He doesn’t always realize he’s scaring them.

Has a room in Hantengu’s hideaway to keep his stuff because Sekido complains if he leaves anything around.

Knows how to knit, for some reason??? Has a massive blanket he painstakingly made for himself and the other clones and it’s one of the few things they ALL take care not to destroy in any way.

He likes knowing how to create things, even if they don’t always turn out quite right.

Woe betide you if you make fun of Urogi’s knitting or that blanket.

Honestly just likes learning new things, doesn’t matter what it is. It makes him happy. He loves when people want to teach him things!

Adrenaline Junkie. Sometimes folds his wings together just to plummet thousands of feet. For fun.

Tells really dumb jokes that he thinks are hilarious. Sometimes they don’t even make sense.

Doesn’t care for traditions or social taboos. He’s likely to break social rules just because it’s funny.

Though he cares in his own way for the other clones, Urogi is particularly fond of Aizetsu. Given the choice, he will always help Aizetsu first. Tends to be shockingly patient with Aizetsu’s morose personality.

Knitted a small blanket for Aizetsu to hold when he’d particularly down.

Urogi is the 3rd least likely to be convinced to let someone go free once he’s targeted them (the first being Aizetsu, 2nd Karaku, and the least likely is Sekido)

this man cannot draw worth beans but still has his art pinned on the wall at Hantengu’s place.

Has explosive sneezes- often accidentally emits sound wave of varying strength. Whoops.

Behavior:

His tongue pokes out of the corner of his mouth when he’s really concentrated on something (like... knitting).

Tilts his head like an owl or hawk when curious about something he sees or hears.

Frequently goes off on his own when separated, much to Sekido’s annoyance.

Sometimes attempts to groom the other clones- to Sekido’s obvious irritation, Karaku’s amusement, and Aizetsu’s confusion.

Will playfully nip and headbutt people he considers friends

flies more than he walks because he looks a little silly walking and it's one of the few things he's a little self-conscious about.

Uses his wings to propel himself forward even short distances.

Chirps! Also (like many birds) can growl, hiss, purr, and (of course) screech. Has an enormous vocal range but tends to make only a handful of noises compared to what he’s capable of.

If he is extremely upset about something, he can screech so loud that the vibrations can shatter trees. Though he is rarely ever even remotely that upset.

His bird-like calls also change when he’s sad or threatening someone from afar. He releases very low frequency rumbles that border on being infrasound (see: cassowaries)

If he can’t devour his prey immediately, he will impale the body on a tall branch to save for later.

Extremely excitable. He does get the zoomies. Don’t bother trying to stop him, just wait until he calms down a little.

Tends to attack his opponent's eyes in battle.

Doesn’t know personal space (doesn’t care, really) but is, ironically, protective of his personal space regarding his wings. Unless he offers, do not try to touch them!

Uses his wings in combat! They’re not just for show or flight. Has a lot of strength in them and he can use them to bludgeon an opponent.

He does like to perch on the shoulders of other people. Since his body is quite light, you should be fine if you have a strong back.

He is the most emotionally immature of the clones.

Also the chattiest! This guy can talk for hours, about everything and nothing. Karaku is 2nd most talkative. Has bit his own tongue from talking so fast.

Urogi has the strongest survival instincts of the clones. He’s not afraid to flee a battle if things are going south for him- though that hasn’t happened in decades. The idea of honor in battle means very little to him.

Collects shiny things, and stuff he steals from Slayers. Has a bit of everything- bones, rocks, gems, cool sticks, nichirin swords and shards, metals, books, animal fur, etc

Doesn’t actually read very well tbh but he does like the concept of books

frequently demands that Demon Slayers ‘play’ with him but it’s always a gamble what he means by that. Sometimes it’s a friendly tussle, sometimes a full-scale battle, and sometimes it’s just dropping you from 700 feet in the air and seeing if you survive.

When they’re free as a group, Urogi will often soar high above, scouting the area for the other clones. Since nobody can hear him hundreds of feet in the air, he’s developed several aerial signals for various things (Slayers in the vicinity, potential prey, coverage from the sun, the sun is rising soon, etc)

Physical:

His ‘pants’ are actually thick, silky feathers. I will never change my mind about this.

He wears the string of pearls around his waist mostly just so Sekido stops complaining about him being completely naked all the time. 

Doesn’t smell bad unless he just ate, and therefore smells like carnage, but he has the rather distinct smell that feathers do

His scales are prone to getting mites, and flea’s on his upper legs, so he’s always taking surprisingly good care of himself. He doesn’t get infestations, because the parasites generally die after biting him, but those bites itch and make him miserable. Frequently bathes and rolls in dust to prevent them.

If he has down time, there’s a good chance you’ll find him preening himself.

Has some feathering on the nape of his neck. It’s hard to tell because it’s the same type he has on his legs, and so it blends in with his actual hair pretty well

Urogi’s feathers molt every few months. During this time, he’s super itchy and irritable. This is the time he’s most likely to uncharacteristically snap at someone.

Hantengu has been intentionally beheaded before just to release Urogi because the poor guy was so uncomfortable that it was affecting everyone else. 

Molting is one of the few times he MIGHT let a stranger touch his wings, if he’s desperate enough, but God help you if you cross him in any way.

Injuries to his wings tend to cause him pain where injuries to other parts of his body wouldn’t. They're sensitive enough to feel and process changes in air currents.

Body temperature is always on the warm side. He’s a walking furnace, and it helps keep him from getting chilled when he’s higher in the atmosphere.

His scales are not stone-hard! They’re more akin to the way a snake’s scales feel- firm but with a lot of flexible give.

His feathers raise subconsciously when irritated to make him look bigger and more threatening.

Most of his bones are hollow.

Extremely good eyesight

When he’s not giving you his signature, toothy grin, his smile is actually a little crooked.

[his-tamine]

I was just getting my t-shot ready, and I subconsciously started singing “t-shot, t-shot!” to the tune of the “backpack, backpack!” song from Dora😂

I was literally all alone in my room and it was completely unprompted. Like, I haven’t heard that song in years.😅 I didn’t even realize that I was singing to the tune of Dora until I had done it a few times…

Anyways, just thought you might find that amusing! Lol

Also, I hope you’re doing okay! I’m in a tight financial spot myself, so I can’t commission you atm, but I hope that you get plenty of other people who can! Your art is amazing, so I imagine you will!!🤗💖

HELPP,, the way i ironically did not see this ask until after getting my own shot today (supposed to be T-shot Tuesday,, but this time it's T-shot *Wednesday* bc i was late this time </3)

but nah that's hilarious,, and real tbh. I still get random dora echolalia as an adult who hasn't watched dora in years too

ty for sharing & checking in on me, homie :3 I'm alright,, just busy, a little stressed (always), but generally cool. not angry or sad or anything rn. my mom's still working her ass off and I still feel bad for her, but ever since I started comms (literally 2 days ago) she's been real chipper, and bragging to her friends ab how proud she is,, which I love to see. I'd ofc much rather her not be having to work that much at all, but I'll take her working 12+ hrs a day happy, over her working 12+ hrs a day miserable.

I'm sorry ur in a tight financial spot too,, sending u nothing but well wishes - trans ppl are fighters,, we'll get thru just fine. tough as nails with no milk >:]

[jackals-ships]

longer post now that i have a chance for the dog ghb first meeting + some relationship stuff that i am realizing is closeish 2 the original but Listen. Vibes;

still fiddling with the bg information bc gestures at the hemospectrum humans wouldn't y'know. Fit There being not trolls but id put them at ~at/below rustbloods in most regards for this timeline just 4 ease

bc of that Dog as Jackal worked primarily in information and infiltration, very much a "got lucky and noticed" type of deal. since bc of the above point a lot of trolls will just kinda gloss over Some Dude in the bg (TO be fair that is universal) + even more so if ur like. shorter than tit height,

ends up getting noticed by HIC who's kinda amused by the whole situation + like me goes :3c y'know what would be REEL funny?

enter jackals no good very bad awful day bc what do you mean the empress wants to talk??

one fear

opening the door and seeing A Fucking Clown

many fear. the fears are in there having a fear orgy

especially once they realize it's not just A Clown it's THE Fucking Clown?? HELLO?

internal monologue is just "what would hurt less me killing myself or him killing me" "probably myself right??" "should I run? no he's Fuck Off Huge"

vibrating at speeds known only to shrimp. b4 this they've Never interacted with these two. hilariously they DID bump into The Orphaner once ("bump" they saw him and wisely scampered The Other Way)

HIC: :3c hey you wanna work for the church ".......what." HIC: it's a yes or no question guppy ".....y. yeah?" HIC: okay cool hey clownfish have ur new boy

im looking at him he's looking at me we're looking at each other + WHAT?

she didn't tell Bachus (goes <3 @almostourgalaxy 4 letting me borrow the names) before hand so he's also "....what?"

i AM a sucker for heart (diamond,) eyes at first sight but it seems more fitting that he's initially "??? NO???" (jackal doing the dog whale eye at the clown bc YOU TOLD HER NO???)

there's a lot of back and forth arguing that boils down to "you're taking them and you're NOT killing them yourself neither is anyone in the church On Purpose" "this is so stupid" "Do It Anyways"

jackal.exe has shut down. the first like 2 weeks they are Not With It! it's legitimately shocking they DIDN'T die by accident

i think the 👀 huh happens when jackal is finally more Themself and he walks in on them throwing hands with another new recruit over smthin stupid

just the combo of them being bloodied and obviously Reckless As Hell he's just "god FUCKING damn it okay"

jackal is now dangling from bachus's hand like a ferret. they've now discovered that having him pet their entire face Is Kinda Soothing. Huh. Neat

immediately back to many fear dot png once they realize WHOMST is holding them by basically the scruff

the relationship is a lot more slow burn bc jackal is Constantly skittering out of his reach, it's like trying to get a feral kitten to stop hissing at you

im deciding still on How They Get Together Properly but i DO know that half the church is contemplating locking them in a room together bc he keeps making sad damp eyes at them and there is only so much everyone can take,

also at least in this regard they are 100% a roach of a man. there is NO way they should've made it thru any training. And Fucking Yet !!!

[daisychains111]

live "tweet" books with me (via the Goodreads progress bar) pt. 5 A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J. Maas

(the first two books plus Frost and Starlight can be found in part 4/4.5)

Alis and Lucian don't believe her "I was a prisoner at night court" BS for one second, and I love that for them

I'm gonna miss Alis...I love her 😭😭

I'm a very enthusiastic Lucian and Elaine fan...I want them to work, even if I know they won't

I'm also an AVID Cassian and Nesta fan....SWOON

once again declaring my absolute distaste of using males, females, and "my mate"

"oversized bat who throws temper tantrums" Nesta is an icon

"Eventually, Mor and Nesta are gonna be besties....I can feel it in my soul

would love for feyre and Nesta to finish their sister heart-to-heart

Alis better be alive somewhere bc istg if Sarah killed that sweet lady I'll riot. also, Tarquin needs to get the stick out of his ass

hehe, Nesta's worried about Cassian

BOOO HISSSSS TAMLIN

literally just fuck him, derogatory

see you used man one time and it was grand then you had to go and correct yourself...bitch ass omagaverse simp

Nesta verbally annihilating Tamlin is my new favorite thing

I'm quickly becoming Nesta's biggest fan

feyre you really just showed every single one of your cards.... those old bastards totally deserved it tho so good on you

girl, you're 20 and married...literally stfu

WOOAAHHH AFFAIR BABY LUCIAN

Nesta doesn't give two shits about the high lord title. she'll tell you to stfu if she feels like it

hehe feyre making fun of Nesta for Cassian will never not be hilarious

HA scary overgrown bat men scared of Nesta

I do not believe that Jurian is on their side, lying until proven not a jerk...also FUCK TAMLIN

you better knock it off with this Mor and Cassian tension...gross

good riddance Ianthe you bitch

not you genuinely making me feel sad about the surial....brutal

absolutely not...Mor and feyre will not be fighting about this...I refuse

awwww Amren and the summer court guy (varian)....cutie pop

SARAH IF YOU HURT SWEET ELAIN I WILL MAIM YOU

damn...if tamlin dies rn trying to redeem himself rn, I just might have to forgive him for being a fuckass

hehe sister hug

hehe elain and azriel

how I didn't realize Mor liked girl is absolutely beyond me...my gaydar is EXTREMELY lacking bc fucking duh

awwww they're holding hanndddsssss

if any one of them dies I'm gonna kill you

if Nesta kisses Cassian bc she thinks they're gonna die I'll forgive Sarah of all her sins

YUUUHH FATHER DEAREST FOR THE ABSOLUTE WIN

once again Nesta saying fuck you and your title I do as I please...icon

AMREN WTF

YAY KISSING WHEN WE THINK WERE GONNA DIE...you're not forgiven tho, not til they both live

YES ELAIN YUUUHHH

goddammit Amern 😭😭

I'm like 80% sure that Rhys doesn't actually die BUT ISTG IF HE DIES RN

AYAY RHYS STAYS ALIVE AND YAY AMREN IS NOT GONE AND YAY

shout out to Tamlin...you're officially redeemed

rip the Tamlin and Lucian bromance

(Afterthought in post-production, WTF happened to Alis. She just disappeared from the planet and I'm not amused.)

I'm starting Silver Flames tomorrow so stay tuned for then hehe (even though I literally should just do my how instead of reading lol)

[quillyfied]

Things I’m noticing on this rewatch, which I’m hoping to take slow and ponder on but we will see how it goes, PART FIVE (obviously major Good Omens season 2 spoilers throughout, specifically for S2E5)

- Okay. Shax’s belt buckle certainly looks very snakelike, but her mannerisms are almost more lizard like to me? Very abrupt jerky movements. Straight lines.

- Okay but this whole discussion with Furfur is both hilarious and makes me wonder about the actual climate of heaven and hell post-Apocanope. Bc the idea that the actual legions of hell and hosts of heaven aren’t actually interested in fighting…yeah, seems supported by the text, actually.

- “Can I watch?” Always

- Alright the immediate way that Aziraphale is prepared to give away rare parts of his collection in order to get everyone there…unsettling? Surprising? Another drop in the bucket of suspense??

- Alright but the fact that he’s actually bothered by it is making me feel Some Kind of Way actually. Something something appears that he’s lost interest or is prepared to sacrifice his material comforts for The Greater Good, in actuality is doing his duty as a protector and guardian even if it hurts him. Don’t mind me, just need to lie down on the floor for a moment.

- Shax’s continued troubles with securing her demon army also continues to make me wonder what Beelzebub themself is playing at. If even Satan himself can’t command 10,000 killer demons into being, and would have to settle for about 70 creepy and unease-radiating layabouts…wtf??

- Unless Furfur is messing with her. For not backing him up in 1941. Entirely possible.

- FEZ. EVEN I KNOW THATS A DOCTOR WHO REFERENCE.

- Also Crowley’s goofing around with the crystal ball. Just want to bask in pure delightful silliness for a moment.

- Alright, back to Shax, who has a whole leather battle outfit? Certainly scary but all I can think is “did it take her an hour to squeeze into it?”

- Eric! Beloved Eric! And the manifold unfortunate ways his superiors dispose of him. Feels familiar and comfy, actually.

- Shax not knowing what she’s doing and being bad at winging it, Example 664

- Aziraphale persisting in French despite Justine really getting fed up with it: second clue that Aziraphale is putting this “night to remember” under more pressure than initially anticipated.

- Eric clarifying that they don’t really want to be fighting angels: lending more credence to my theory that The Big One/the Second Coming is going to fall apart due to out of touch management tbh

- I have deep curiosity about what the Christmas lights debacle is all about

- Nina! DRAG HIM.

- THE SHEER OUTRAGE OF AZIRAPHALE BEING CROWLEY’S BIT ON THE SIDE.

- Other people’s love lives always seem so much more straightforward than our own. Coupled with melancholy romantic music. And a frankly heartbreaking expression on Nina’s face. I’m so sad for her. I’m equally sad for Crowley tbh.

- Lots of use of lightning this season. Noticing that Shax’s is dual blue and red…have to go back and see what color Crowley’s is.

- Shax’s shoulder pads remind me of a dragon or a lizard too tbh

- Something too about the opening that I can’t seem to articulate clearly but strikes me: when the bridge between the two planets breaks apart after Crowley and Aziraphale’s little dance back and forth (still on the wrong sides btw), the bridge reforms after a few seconds, but sideways. And one of the bridge halves is an entirely different bridge. Foreshadowing?

- This episode’s theater feature: The Ball, by Jane Austen. With the onscreen picture being, I believe, a couple of the demons?

- Can I just say—adore the pretty rose in Crowley’s shot. Also paused at the exact right moment to catch Aziraphale’s amused and fond expression while Crowley tries to express a real concern. Love that he cares, wish he would listen.

- The complexities of being in a toxic relationship. Even knowing you’re well shot of them, the ways they break you down don’t really leave. Nina is a mirror for Aziraphale.

- I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, I do truly think that Crowley spilling the beans here will have consequences in the future.

- Crowley’s rage and hurt tho. Thank you for that, David Tennant, we have been blessed beyond measure.

- Shoutout to the person in the notes of my post about the second episode who said the little hissing chime happens whenever Crowley takes off his shades in an important moment, bc I caught it this time!

- The way Jim is so childlike in his un-Gabriel state makes me wonder if angels in their natural state are just Like That—joyful, trusting, full of genuine love and care. We see it in angel Crowley, we see it in early days Aziraphale, we see it in Jim, we see it in Muriel. Which makes the Fall feel all the more harrowing in concept. If any of the angels who Fell truly understood WHY they fell, just that they were loathsome in some way and deserved what they got.

- Crowley pulling back from causing actual harm because despite his very good and logical reasonings for not wanting Gabriel there…he’s still himself. Gabriel in his right mind would be one thing. This is Jim. He’s something else entirely right now.

- The understanding of the empty house metaphor though. Breaking my heart here.

- “Where is your memory, then?” Brings to mind immediately another John Finnemore quote: “you see, that’s a very stupid question that you just happen to have gotten lucky with.” And THE MATCHBOX! Aha! The plot continues to thicken!

- OH. I missed that the “institutional problem” line was something Crowley got to hear first before going to heaven was even on the table.

- I’m sorry Jim’s adorable little nod, GET THE MAN SOME HOT CHOCCY THEN

- Okay okay—the way Michael instantly dismisses Muriel’s assessment that Crowley fed them about love and humans being weird—brings to mind the meta I cannot find now of angels post-fall just. Not asking questions. Not questioning anything at all. Even taking credit for knowing things that are blatantly incorrect. They are just as broken as the demons tbh.

- I wonder at Michael’s slow glance to the side at Uriel’s insistence on labeling Aziraphale a traitor every time. Michael not liking Uriel stepping on their toes as acting supreme archangel?

- Muriel’s subtle little eyeliner. Love it.

- Also how they know a super powerful miracle occurred at the bookshop, how everyone seems to know or suspect that’s where Gabriel is, and YET. Jimbriel hides in plain sight anyway. Because a miracle that powerful is affecting even the archangels. Also interesting to note that they know a miracle occurred but they don’t know why. I know this is known but somehow I’m just now connecting the dots fully. They can track miraculous power. They can’t know the reason until the angel who did the miracle reports. What an elegant loophole to exploit for thousands of years.

- Nobody would believe you anyway XD

- WAIT AND SEE. I cannot believe Neil wrote that in after tormenting tumblr with it for months. I have such irreversible fondness for that phrase now.

- The soundtrack being so pretty ;A;

- Also, I know it’s actually not great the way Aziraphale’s ball moves forward in stealing away free will to a degree, but moment of quiet glee for how he gussies up everyone entering the shop, too

- MRS SANDWICH. I will be committing it to memory.

- “Everything else was taken” Nina what does that MEAN

- Okay the creepy fog and Crowley’s insistence that something is wrong—we are starting on the topsy turvy carousel of the night! Stuff is getting Weird!!

- Shoutout to the magic shop owner’s spouse! A lovely color on them indeed!

- How is it that Justine is reduced to stereotypical Frenchwoman? Aziraphale. Good grief.

- Also, Aziraphale: why is Gabriel dressed like Elton John?

- Aziraphale. Aziraphale you are sounding like the guy in Sense and Sensibility who keeps trying to push the Dashwoods into dancing and enjoying themselves when they’re emotionally distraught.

- Interesting how Maggie doesn’t notice the demons at all. Or Crowley shouting at them from across the street.

- Wondering how in touch Crowley is with hell to know that these are low ranking demons and if Shax is fully aware that Furfur likely screwed her over big time.

- The warm reddish interior at odds with the eerie greenish exterior. Love that framing.

- Mrs. Sandwich finding the best and most erotic way of getting around the language block Aziraphale has put in place now (SERIOUSLY, ANGEL), deffo a highlight of the second season for me. What a delightful little scene. With horrific implications re:Aziraphale’s unwillingness to break his own fantasy of helping to realize the actual danger he’s put them all in until it’s too late.

- Tiny miracle chime when Nina grabs Maggie’s hand

- Nina and Maggie not being entirely taken in by the atmosphere Aziraphale set. Intentional? Incidental?

- I can’t hear that wet slapping noise without thinking about Monty Python.

- Aziraphale and Crowley? Failing to communicate whilst danger draws near? NAAAHHH

- (I remember reading someone’s very innocent “I hope they dance this season!” pre-s2 prediction and having the reaction of “nice thought but there’s no way. Save it for fandom.” AND HERE I AM. WITH THE EGG ON MY FACE. FRIED BY THE WATTAGE OF MICHAEL SHEEN’S SMILE.)

- Okay but the way Crowley lets himself be led out though too

- SHAX TOOK THE ELEVATOR WHILE EVERYONE ELSE TOOK THE STAIRS. I DID NOT CATCH THAT AT FIRST EITHER.

- “I’m not afraid of hard work.” MAGGIE. DELIGHTFUL PRETTY EARNEST MAGGIE.

- “I think you’re overestimating how much trouble we’re actually in.” NOPE.

- Aziraphale, in trying to help solve the tangle he’s in, has just created the perfect storm of harm for all involved. France in a frilly frock coat all over again. Only worse.

- Jim being willing to go tho TT_TT

- “You came to me. I said I would protect you. And I will.” HES. A. GUARDIAN. I. AM. CRYING.

- The fact that Shax sends Jimbriel back inside instead of trying to rip him apart is so funny. As is her attempt to spell toast XD apologies. Toste. (Throwback to Hastur and Ligur joking about toasting Crowley. Such fond memories.)

- Crowley throwing around rules he’s made up: the exact thing he would do and I’ve been deeply hoping he would do one day

- “I won’t leave you on your own.” “I know” WEEPING

- I was going to make a comment about the freaked out faces of Crowley and Aziraphale as Mr. Brown is quite possibly eaten or maimed, but I just found out one of the demons is named Skittles and I have to be joyful about that first.

- The miracles not working on Nina and Maggie!! WHY??

- “We aren’t leaving you on your own.” Maggie is brave and cares about her friends. Maggie is a mirror for Crowley.

- “But rescuing me makes him so happy” CANON. DECLARED. TEXT AND NOT JUST SUBTEXT.

- Crowley going James Bond with Muriel. ADORING IT

- The convo about tricking?? And then CROWLEY being the one to order the doors closed?? PARALLELS.

Okay. One episode left. Not many brain cells remaining. Time to grab a snack and buckle in, bc it’s about time to watch my heart get ripped out a second time.

[renewedmotionforjudgment]

Bc I’m in the middle of a Lan Ling Wang rewatch (I don’t think I ever finished it back in the day but it’s mostly bc I read the actual dude’s Wikipedia page and went “okay so this will be sad.”). But honestly, A++ OTP first meeting. They introduced him like the cover of a Johana Lindsey novel circa 1992 (he’s shirtless and there’s a horse!) and she tried to protect him! Although I am amused that his hair is crimped like it’s 2001.

Also everyone talks about Chinese history in terms of the forbidden city and great wall etc but I like to remind people that yes, there’s a real life Chinese historical figure who was apparently so attractive that he wore a mask to not “distract” his opponents, which I find to be extremely hilarious. Personally, I think dude should have tried for the Edward Cullen dazzle.

Oh my guh. The OTP’s first meeting in King of Lan Ling is so perfectly manga and so perfectly perfect, it hurts!

He is bathing in the hot springs after battle and she stumbles across him and because of his long hair and the fact that it’s ladies’ springs (which he doesn’t know, being a stranger), assumes he is a beautiful lady. Heeeee. And climbs in with him.

But that was just adorable and cute. No, what really got me was that then they are surrounded by soldiers, who are there to capture the legendary warrior that is Gao Chang Gong, and Xiewu jumps in front of him and attacks the soldiers to protect her new acquaintance. And his face, when he sees this tiny slip of a girl jumping to his defence. His faaaaaaaace.

And she takes out one soldier while he basically decimates the rest in two seconds flat.

And then he turns around and she sees the stranger is a man and eeeeee!!!!

This drama owns me already. So much. Which is going to be baaad, because the legend of Lanling Wang is a tragic one and the drama is ladling it heavily with the foreshadowing…my heart is going to be so broken!

This is gorgeously filmed, the plot moves fast, I love the battles etc but what really gets me and makes this drama work as well as it does is the ridiculously intense chemistry between Ariel Lin and Feng Shao Feng. After all, it’s the story of star-crossed lovers and chemistry is necessary for this. Luckily, it is here in spades. Not surprising, since both Ariel and FSF are capable of chemistry with a stone block and together - oh my God, oh my God, oh my God.

Oh, and I remember some netizens commenting that FSF is not gorgeous enough to portray a man who wore a mask into battle lest his beauty distract his enemies. Either they are blind or I am. Because FSF as GCG makes me sort of stop breathing. But then I am a FSF fangirl in general and thus biased. But then, he is one of the only two men I’ve seen pull off the horrific Qing queue and still look like sex on legs (the other man is the inhuman perfection that is Kevin Cheng) so maybe I am not as biased as all that :P

[dahliasanddimples]

Day 16: should I do it?! Should I do it for April fools LMFAAOOO omg should I do it and ruin his weekend but also make him happy that I finally reached out. Im getting that feeling again, in my stomach bc it would be SOOOO funny…. If I’m not blocked lol

Ughh just looked through screenshots and I’m glad it was only on screenshots bc damn i fucking miss you 😭💔💔💔💔 and I miss my apartment. Trusting in God and having faith that this IS the right path for me. I wasn’t using it to my advantage and it was a waste of money and I was feeling some type of weird way about it anyways. But damn I miss my apartment 😢 and you 😭 and us 💔 ugh wow what a life. You really don’t appreciate it until you don’t have it anymore. Sigghhh I needed that. I miss you and if I text you even if it is just a joke.. it’ll open that door back up. A part of me today was thinking it would be a little fun to be toxic for the summer. But that’s blocking my blessings and hurting my own feelings. If I ever saw you with another girl I’d flip the fuck out and I wouldn’t have any right to bc well.. we wouldn’t have been back together. Don’t let me send it.. even if it is just a joke. Even if it is funny. Even if I have no plan on getting back with you. Bc right now, I’m weak. Right now, I can’t say no. If you asked me to come over I would.. say no. But only once and by the time you’re asking a second time I’d already be outside. I wanna send it tho 😩 like how funny would that be lol and then just not say anything after. Block you. Don’t pick up any of your calls your text that would be funny and then say april fools literally at 11:59 that day lol it would be funny and toxic which is what I am. But damn. I can’t. I shouldn’t. Not like I’ve been writing about how much I hate you and how much better off I am without you. Maybe I AMMM the problem.

Had the decision to go to an amusement park this Saturday and then dinner with the G baby’s or a luxe resort with the bitches and her side piece. G baby’s didn’t reply so I had to confirm with the snow. I’m hoping we get cute pics at least at dinner or something. But if the g baby’s do reply I think I might bail on the resort plan, I think I wanna have fun and I forgot were also doing dinner after the amusement park. LE SIGH.

I misshhhh yoouuuu and now that I’m not angry, can we try again? I wanna be cute again 🥺 i feel like we’re over this break up, are we not? Like are we done breaking up? LMFAO okay I’m the toxic one I see that now. Like is the break up over? I’ve been sad about us but now I’m not and I’m ready to try again lol sigh sigh sigh. I think I’m just at that point if I’m not sad and I miss you and I’m over it. That’s the point I’m in right now. Content with the situation

I frustrate myself bc all I’ve been doing is literally laying in bed on my phone. Like at least I’m going to the gym but I’m gonna need a new routine bc this isn’t it.

Can’t block my own blessings. Manifesting my partner in crime broad shouldered hot man who is fit fine and funny. A Gemini 😌✨ it’s crazy bc we were literally the worse match like it says we were actually THE least compatible and now I understand why. Bc you’re a bitch makes Tiffany. Like I really can’t be the one to baby you and reassure you all the time AND be the big spoon but that’s what you need but on the other hand that’s what I need too? It’s literally fire with fire.

Don’t let me text you don’t let me text you don’t let me text you don’t let me text you. Idc how funny it is. Bc then you might end up having a fun night knowing I’m still there. Still being funny. Giving you that jolt of happy high. Me too but I’m content so I don’t need that. It’d be HILARIOUS tho. But a part of me still wants you to be sad. I hope they play sad songs. I hope you miss me and it hurts. I just realized this weekend is the weekend I’m supposed to pop up. April fools, it’s me again bitchesssss. I think I’m gonna post on Monday. When everyone’s on their phone, looking through weekend pics. And then BOOM. Gotcha mf. It’s me again bitch. Miss meeeee 🙃 what’d I miss

If he doesn’t email me back should I still follow him? Ima give it a few weeks then follow him. Or just follow him. If I follow him I have to immediately comment something. So maybe a couple weeks after I pop out.

[rucow]

i have this headcanon that fíli unintentionally invented middle earth santa and that he IS middle earth santa. listen it all makes sense

when fíli was little he wanted to have an excuse to give kíli presents every winter bc they couldn't go outside and play cuz it was too cold and dangerous and that made kíli sad, so fíli wanted to help cheer him up with presents. but he wanted to surprise kíli as well so he'd leave kíli gifts when he was asleep so he'd find them in the morning, but kíli was used to fíli always spoiling him with gifts so fíli had to invent a mystery old man (dwarf) that comes and leaves presents for kíli every winter. but then fíli had to start leaving himself presents too so that kíli won't be suspicious about why he's the only one receiving presents. fíli would leave himself something small like. 1 fruit. while kíli got the fanciest things that young fíli could acquire (mainly toys and sweets and new clothes), and it all starts spiraling out of control when kíli starts asking gimli what HE got from santa, so now fíli has to leave gimli presents too otherwise gimli will tell kíli the truth about santa not being real (little gimli is blackmailing fíli)

fíli has 100% had breakdowns over this bc it's been years and kíli still expects santa to come every year and he'll be disappointed if santa doesn't show up so fíli continues being santa every year. he has to be santa for all the kids kíli interacts with. he has to sneak into their rooms for this (dangerous) and he has to wear his santa disguise (thick furs and a long beard so that he won't be recognised), this is how he got so good at being stealthy later on in life. he has tried asking dís and thorin for help with telling kíli the truth but they won't help him (they find it incredibly amusing) so now fíli is stuck being santa. he doesn't have the heart to tell kíli the truth because he has NEVER lied to kíli before and he's terrified that kíli will never trust him again or something, considering how much he believes in santa being a real elderly magical dwarf that leaves presents for dwarflings. on the occasions that fíli couldn't leave presents for whatever reason, he comes up with the idea that naughty dwarflings don't get anything, and although it makes kíli sad that he hasn't received anything that year, it also motivates him to be much more well behaved so it all works out in the end and dís and thorin approve of this idea immensely

when they're all grown up and kíli has kids of his own, fíli has to leave them presents too. except that kíli guards his kids constantly and fíli can't sneak into their rooms to leave presents into their cribs, and long story short, kíli catches fíli in the act and everything is brought to light and fíli is MORTIFIED that kíli will hold a grudge against him or that he'll never speak to him again and will never forgive him for LYING to him about something SO important. but kíli just laughs it off and finds the whole thing hilarious and reassures fíli that he doesn't Hate him for this and finally, finally after nearly a century of being santa, fíli is finally free of this responsibility.

and now kíli is the one leaving presents for his kids, and the tradition spreads and so the idea of santa in middle earth is born. all because of fíli's love for his baby brother and wanting to have an excuse to spoil him with presents every cold winter.

bonus: kíli gets fíli presents every year now too, to make up for the emotional turmoil that fíli had to go through for him :')

[diabolikpersonals]

Can we have Reiji × Yuma headcanons please 🙏?)

YEAH BABYYYYY I love reiji/yuma!!! sorry it got rly angsty but I just think angst is so much fun

I think Reiji developed his crush on Yuma as an adult but I there was a moment when they were kids...You know that moment in canon when little Reiji is like "ok edgar let's see u dance! >:)" and Edgar is like "I can TOTALLY dance!!!!" and then he makes a fool of himself bc he can't dance??? I don't think Reiji thought Edgar would really try so sincerely, and I think it catches him off guard. Somewhere in the back of Reiji's mind, a complicated feeling appears.

Now that Yuma's back and everything ends up fine and we're all friends now (like post-DF or LE), Reiji's...awfully guilty. But Yuma doesn't give a shit. It's sad for Reiji but it's also a little funny, u know?? Reiji's thinking "I basically killed him and there's no way I can atone except through death..." and Yuma's like "hey reiji I grew too many tomatoes, do you want to take some home"

Come to think of it, I want to torture a guilty Reiji with Yuma's generosity lol. I want Yuma to be nice to him and it makes Reiji feel even worse, especially because Reiji can't even apologize for anything properly >:D

Upon realizing "oh I have romantic feelings for Yuma" I think Reiji loses sleep over it. When he does sleep, he has nightmares. He dreams of all the bad things he did and, of course, he dreams about getting rejected for them, and it all comes back to "I can only atone through death." Eventually it becomes super obvious that Reiji's doing bad and Yuma has to put a hand on his shoulder and ask him if he's doing okay.

Yuma: Dude, what are you talking about?? I don't care about any of that stuff at all; it's all in the past. Whatever you're stressing about, I've forgiven you already.

Reiji, running on maybe 10mins of sleep and years of silent self-torture and pining: ...oh

Then it starts to get to the point where Reiji can only relax if Yuma's there to assure him :) lol

ANYWAY as a couple I think they're hilarious. Reiji is stubborn and needy and Yuma is kind of oblivious, so Reiji will be like, waiting for Yuma to make a move on him for a long time and get more and more frustrated. Then Yuma's like "why are u tapping your foot so much" and Reiji's like "I am WAITING for you to kiss me." and Yuma's all "ohhh well you should've SAID so, stupid!!"

I want them to have an amusement park date so Reiji can see Yuma get all scared in a haunted house, and Yuma can see how much Reiji loves roller coasters. Like seeing a new side of your partner. It'll be fun!!

Yuma is inviting Reiji over constantly and it pisses off both families. Ruki is like, "I want that weirdo out of my house for ONE day" and the Sakamakis are like, destroying the place since Reiji isn't home

Reiji 100% thinks that true love is fake except for him and Yuma. He's like, "Nobody will ever have what Yuma and I have." lmao

[jrueships]

35:10 - 1:15:13 🤧 imma be honest, im lowkey here for the tatman sauce content. it's a bit sad but it's what sad little rarepair crackship enjoyers like me must do to survive 😭

i think im gonna take this 30 at a time and then in the last reblog finally tag up n add some more info idk! We will see where the night takes us!

Tat man just singing away as sauce tries not to cry beneath him 😭 this shit hilarious

Sauce contemplating baldness??? Chat thinks he's going bald or smthing bcs hes been rocking that beanie forever like reeces cup kd. Didn't teach him to stop wearing that beanie sadly 🙄. Sauce wondering if he should go bald and get tats on his head .... id cry

Kyle corrects a chatter's Grammar. Heard does not equal hard

Sauce wanting to show the viewers his face now... starting to groan more frequently now 😣 this shit is heard (hard* -kyle)

I sped forward some bcs the sound kept cutting in n out but he's still on the same side of his neck so idc. Apparently Sauce has not seen All American or hasnt seen it in a while, idk i cant hear over this stupid music 😭. I heard it went downhill on some tubi shit like bmf so it's a lost cause tbh

Feels like watching some boring ass p*rno where they stay in the same position doing much abt nothing 😐. Kiss or smthin 😑 cmon

At 59:36 with some skipping.. sauces beloved 'females' who he let's in his far more beloved sauce world for free are asking kyle to take some pity on the poor sauce. 'Let him take a break...' LOL. He's their knight in shining tat ink.

There's some more stuff that happened way later, Kyle asked who been in chat since he started.. surprisingly some!! The attention span is insane

Ok We're in hour 1 now so just remember that. I'm not gonna write that whole thing out or I'll get confused 😭 im just gonna write the minutes and the seconds, just imagine the 1 in front of it

1:44 Chat: You Muslim Sauce?

SG: no i'm Not 😑😤😑 !

Chat: I was finna ask that 😭 laugh emoji (i am not putting that in my recent section on my phone)

Chat: I thought he was Muslim bc of his name laugh emoji x3 (ahmad) (tbh me too)

Sg: a lot of people think that 😒

Chat sometime later: Sauce leaking (in response to an ask if he was bleeding)

10:39, Sauce getting a bit overwhelmed by the pain. Whines, groans.

Sg: how long you think it's gonna be 😖😭

K: *unintelligible*

Sg: *groans*

11:37: WE RANDOMLY CUT TO SAUCE WATCHING SPED UP TIKTOKS ON HIS PHONE??? He has it facing the screen so we can see like We're inside his mind 😭 is this saucevision? I'm scared 😭😭

Omg. PLOTTWIST??? IT WAS KYLE'S HAND HOLDING THE PHONE AND WATCHING THE WEIRD TIKTOKS THAT WERE AKIN TO AN ELSA GOES TO THE DENTIST APPS LMAO??? Why was he showing us that 😭??????? It's like they're coparenting the chat or something. Gen Z babysitters.

Chat after being shown some weird dentist video of a woman getting her teeth done thanks to kyle????'s phone sharing generosity??: what.

Wth

Is that woo lady?

What did I just see.

Kyle: hahahaa YEAA her teeth were FUCKED up! hahaaa talm bout what did i JUST see hehehehehaha

Sauce enters the room. Apparently he left kyle in the room alone with us so he can get some food I think?? And I guess he told him to entertain the chat (kid) while he was gone by showing us the games he got on his phone (traumatizing tiktok video)

Kyle laughs and shares his very funny moment with sauce about traumatizing the local saucelings, quite amused. Sauce falls to his knees and contemplates whether life is worth it, as he is in pain. He cannot protect the saucelings from tatman and his weird dentist videos. He is too weak.

Chat: I see ur rib cage (?????? J*F D*HMER IN THE CHAT????? SAUCE GET DOWN!!)

Sauce comes back bearing gifts though, he got em both Gatorade then hands Kyle a hot cheetos bag. Then seal for the tat. While checking himself and his tat out on the camera the whole time (shirtless, of course)

He then brags about feeding his tat man lol, such a humanitarian 🥰 empath king

Chat complains about not being offered any

Sg: chat yall want some hot cheetos 🤨? Want some Gatorade?

K: *holds hot cheeto bag up in front of camera/in corner of it* yall want some :] ?

SAUCES LEFT ARM MUSCLE KEEPS TWITCHING FROM THE PAIN???? AND THEN HIS LEFT BOOB STARTS JUMPING UM. WHY ARE WE RIGHT IN THE LINE OF FIRE TO SEE THIS. IM SCARED. That left arm is dancing man, cus he got the neck tat on that side. That's crazy.

Chat: Damn your(e) so hot. I'm a guy

K: aw hell naw they talkin crazy 😳 (inch resting of you to notice that one comment specifically.... hmm.)

OKAY PAUSING AT 1:15:13 RQ. ILL BE BACK

taking lil notes on the sauce getting a tat stream.... will be reblogging with more bcs this video is fucking long as shit plus with me always pausing to write whatever nonsense i find funny? yea, idk if ill be able to get thru this all lmao 😭 but yea this will just be lil blurbs rewritten n commented on as i watch on one device and take notes on another like a lil movie major or smthin LMAO. To shorten typing time, Sauce will be SG and tat man will just be K as his real name is Kyle. ok? ok

SG, impatient & cocky, trying to show out 4 the stream like a little loser: ay cmon bruh im ready 😤!!🤘🏿 *goes to lay down on the jets styled?? tatting bed??? idk what that is i don't get tats.. i just know they probably fucked on it cus sauce winced when he had to sit down LMAO. went from ay bruh im ready to EUAGH 😫!! Eh 😣😖!! in a millisecond LMFAO*

K: *checks himself out on camera for a split second*

K: *very polite to the stream's viewing. Apparently has never streamed or got an audience up close n personal during his tat sessions. Only shows the before and after photos so this is a new but very fun experience for him. aww, so cute <3 sauce getting him to try new things!!!! He's nervous about getting the best angles for us and he's always trying his best to please!! ( he's so service top it's Mad. it's MADDENIN!!! ) Sauce dramatic diva demanding hot n s*x fierce reporter mean fake bitch and his quiet polite and personable yet professionally firm, keeping sauce in line when he needs to fulltime cameraman part time bodyguard when the situation gets unexpectedly (or expectedly. Not everyone has Tat man's insanely loyal patience with sauce...) hostile WHEN??? Slowburn We're just workers/he's just my minion to ........... don't ask why we came out of the same bathroom at the same time STFU ?? HELLO??? TAT MAN!!!*

Chat: cook up kyle

Kyle: !! :] !! yea 😺!! im boutta cook 🥰 (HE KEEPS GETTING SO SWEETLY HYPED UP FROM SAUCES LIL AUDIENCE. IT'S SO CUTE LOL)

1:05 (around there idk none of these time stamps will be any accurate bcs i pause late after realizing smthin was funny then guestimate where it started so sorry :( ): sauce walking his big b00bies up in our face jumpscare :/ . To help Kyle zoom the camera per his chats demands. He lowkey high key very anxious and micromanaging abt kyle using his camera equipment lol. He just loves telling people what to do but also that shit is probably very expensive. But cmon sauce. Kyle the cameraman's got it!!! HE EVEN HAS THE PERFECT CAMERAMAN NAME LIKE?? Let him take care of you bbygirl ..😼

Sauce once again (a bit more gingerly this time) sits himself on his jets style seat thing and let's out a little cry of pain when his ass hits it??? sauce these bttm allegations are BEATING ur ASS lmao????

Kyle does what sauce was about to do for him and sauce kinda :/// >:( 😰😰😠. Sauce try to go five seconds without micromanaging challenge impossible. Complains about chat being able to see his facial expressions being too close up now and how he won't be able to fuck with Kyle no more cus of it cus they'll make shit is weird. Kyle simply responds ' That's love 🙂. '

Sauce goads the chat asking if he should end stream. Kyle at first thinks maybe he isn't cameramanning right and gets a little nervous/sad at disappointing sauce but quickly catches onto the strategy and joins in on the bait. The chat take it with a chorus of Nos. Girlboss sauce malewife Tat man media powercouple ftw?

2:58, K: wait turn ur head a lil bit? *Sauce looks at him* no, other way *sauce looks away, exposing neck to him and pre-ink*

K admires his work. Shows it off to the chat, tells them he's getting them right. Zooms in on sauce's neck

SOMEBODY SAID 'L NIPPLE' IN THE CHAT WHAT???? Chat language is so.... beautiful 😭

'Stop being a lil girl take the pain like a man'????? Yall sure this is twitch and not p*rnhub ??? tf?

Kyle zooms in. Chat: "glad to get the nipple off the page" HELP. my thoughts exactly

Kyle tries hiding sauces face with his zooms bcs he knows sauce was self conscious about his expressions lmao. Chat, instantly, and these are different people too. Everyone is a sadist here apparently. My kinda people 😼: 'WE NEED TO SEE HIS FACE FR' 'HIS FACE BRO WE NEED TO SEE HIS FACE' 'WE NEED TO SEE HIS FACE IF HE CRIES'

3:38 Sauce, reading the chat bcs if he doesn't have attention that he can feel for five seconds he explodes and dies: is my face in there ? <- literally just whined about not wanting his face seen bcs he'd get weird comments and ruin his very heterosexual very platonic relationship with tat man. But is now turning his whole tune around for some shred of people pleasing attention omg 🙄 poo fimbly 😑

K: nah they be clownin 😿.. *just wants to protect him*

Sauce agrees a bit then quickly changes subject to compliment himself.

Sauce notices camera needs shifting so he tries but Kyle's on it before he can. Sauce keeps trying anyways until eventually the needles settle him slougish

5:10 chat tells them to zoom out but sauce defends his cameraman: AINT NO ZOOM OUT 😾😾!! HE TRYNA GIVE YOU THE UPCLOSE LOOKS !!

Kyle zooms out anyways

Sauce whines about his nipple lol

Sg: yall weird af 😑 Yall tryna see my nipple or smthin 🤨? *incredulous look to camera*

K: FREE THE NIP!!!!! <- reading off chat, sadly

THE CHAT BULLIED HIM INTO HIDING HIS BOOBS LMAO. He got a blanket 😭 so now he's gonna be with another man... while under a blanket ? um. sauce I think this is pretty lose lose if u ask me .

Kyle wearing those black tattoo gloves gently touching sauces neck.... soft dom and not even trying to hide it 🤨?

Chat: stop moaning 😐

Sauce: my bad bruh 😔

Someone: get the tissues ready (????)

Sg: in da trenches 😼. in da trenches 😼

Someone in chat: sauce do u like when men fuck u? ( 🤔.. it's a fair ask 😳.)

Chat: the right side of my neck hurted the most (average sauce fan iq, im afraid )

Chat: SAUCE BABY START TWERKING

( now im just finding funny chat stuff cus all sauce doing rn is trying to not cry by randomly singing along to the music and kyle is working)

Chat trying to plot lies on kyle by spamming kyle messed up smthin so sauce can get worried lmao

9:40: around there, maybe a bit later, sauce starts groaning and cursing more

Chat: Sauce is it hard

Sauce asks how many people watching bcs u know he looooves an audience. Kyle doesn't know how to check so he has to stop and ask the chat

Kyle: Seven- ..... 776? 800? a thousand? man idk :(. yall play too much >:( yall play too damn much 🙄! ... i fuck with yall tho >:)

Chat trying to gaslight sauce into thinking Kyle's actually tatting a dick on his neck

I've been skipping or doing other stuff during some of the tatting. Sauce got up to try and figure out some twitch function? Mic suppression? idk. He lowkey stalling lol.

Kyle starts asking what the chat been saying around 31:40, curious.

Sauce and Kyle mumble to songs internmentedly lol

33:25 around there kyle raps to a song he rlly likes. Sauce adlibs it's cute

PAUSING THIS AT 35:10. We basically got an hour left in this jawn. YALL WE WATCHED ALOT IM PROUD!!!! OK im leaving this here for now, reblogging l a ter maybe even finishing it idk? I just need this shit sent cus im a lil nervous if it'll even load... this was a lotta work 😭 all for tatman and sauce interactions damn... ion even know this man's last name .. i need to go do strong people things now BYE see yall soon hopefully

[kakashihasibs]

for the four headcanon ask, sakumo! tell me your thoughts on this dog grandpa

Oh boy

1) realistic.

Perhaps a contributing factor in Sakumo's social awkwardness is that the Hatake clan was a newer addition to Konoha and there were some internal politics that made the Hatake clan's position in konoha slightly more precarious than what Sakumo was comfortable with.

It probably didn't help that Sakumo was exceptionally strong, meaning he was a possible candidate for Hokage in the minds of more progressive konoha-ians.

His more compassionate nature was probably well known as well. I could easily see his failed mission being a set up to get Sakumo out of the way.

Send him on a mission they know will cost lives to complete knowing he'll forsake it to save those lives. Then when he gets back as a failure lambast him until he's no long a threat to the established order.

Maybe they didn't mean for him to commit suicide bc he still could have been useful but thats what it ended up leading to.

(The precarious situation might have fed into him trying so hard to get kakashi to be a little politer in public as well lol)

2) hilarious. Maybe? Idk more like amusing to me than hilarious.

This poor man has social anxiety so bad. When his future wife 1st flirted with him he turned beet red. (It wasn't actually the 1st time she had flirted with him. She kept having to up the obviousness and it was just the 1st time he realized what she was doing)

Once he got used to it tho he got good at flirting back 😌 Sakumo could be pretty smooth when he lets himself be.

3) sad.

Okay listen. I dont like the headcanon that Kakashi looks like his mom and seeing Kakashi's face made Sakumo sad so Kakashi started wearing a mask. i don't think that Sakumo was that bad of a parent. Kakashi never seemed upset or overly ashamed while Sakumo was still alive.

I think Sakumo loved that Kakashi looks like his mom and loved seeing her smile reflected in Kakashi's smile. And while Sakumo thinks baby Kalashi wanting to look like a cool ninja is incredibly cute and Sakumo is certainly supportive, Sakumo does miss seeing Kakashi's smile. He doesn't let that show bc he's not gonna be weird to his son about his dead mom.

And while i think Kakashi's mom died of childbirth complications just given the time frame, i think she lived for a while and actually got to meet and hold Kakashi for a while. Like maybe she passed a few days after the birth :[

4) unrealistic.

Hmmmm. This might not be unrealistic given everything about konoha but uh if the Hatake clan is newer to konoha then i bet there are more members of the clan outside of konoha but after setting Sakumo up for failure and his suicide they probably wouldn't want them being contacted.

During the funeral while kakashi is out i can see ANBU agents going through the Hatake estate steal anything that has info on members outside of Konoha, effectively cutting Kakashi off from a possible line of support or even protection.

Kakashi was exhausted so he probably never noticed the missing stuff. Scrolls or books with with family trees and history stolen so Kakashi would be alone and cut off from them :(