#americans have the memory range of fruit flies

[roseband]

oh my god im so tired of these political ads that are like "are you better off than two years ago"

like.....yes? yes i am.... there's no longer a morgue truck in my neighborhood thank you very much?

im tired

[vantovan-blog1]

A beginning

Well, here we go, better late than never? This is a blog to get some of the experiences Tash and I have had and will have this year as we travel Australia and the world to find family, friends and fun, ending up in Vancouver where we plan to stay for a while before we head back to Melbourne, our home city, when it feels right. 

Our instagram account (@van.to.van for those playing along at home) has captured a lot of the best moments, but it's time to get some words down too. It's been just over three months since we set off from Melbourne. 

Leaving was harder than we anticipated. We found it tough to say farewell to our house, having only been in it for a year, to friendships that were really solidifying, and to family and familiar faces and places. It was an emotionally, mentally and physically tiring couple of months leading up to departure - there is a lot to organise when you upturn a settled existence - but we got there in the end and drove away from Melbourne excited, nervous and a little uncertain about what was ahead of us.

Australian road trip

Life in the van was amazing. It's a cliche, but it's remarkable how simple life becomes (temporarily at least) once you've pared down your possessions to the essentials. Fewer things in front of your face means less to think and worry about, and we quickly fell in love with the lifestyle, where the principal concerns are what you will eat for the day and where you will park the van for the night.

Our road trip took us almost all the way up the east coast to Port Douglas, a small tourist town north of Cairns, then cross country to meet the Stuart highway, down through Alice Springs to Adelaide, then back home via a few wineries in the Mclaren Vale, Barossa and Clare Valley regions.

It's difficult to pinpoint highlights as there really were so many; this trip gave us both a newfound appreciation for the beauty and variety of Australia, and as is often the case when you travel, the journey itself was as good and sometimes better than a lot of the destinations. I will, however, pick out a few.

We rushed through it more than we should have, and really want to go back again, but the section of coast between Sydney and Brisbane was spectacular. Some of the best beaches we have come across anywhere in the world are in that region. We stayed with friends in both Sydney and Brisbane who generously hosted us and put up with our larger than normal car.

There were some pretty amazing beaches above Brisbane as well, a highlight for us being the Agnes Water/1770 region, where we stayed in a bush camp right above a surf beach. Magic. Another highlight was Magnetic Island, just off the Townsville coast, where we spent a few days with some family friends Ric and Candy in their oasis of a home. A beautiful house at the end of a cul de sac right below a cliff, complete with decor from PNG and a dip pool, all accented with colourful lead light lamps and wall art made by Candy. They were very lovely hosts as well, which made it a very special few days. 

Above Townsville we ran into bad weather and didn’t get to see the best that the Cairns and Whitsundays regions had to offer, but still got a good day on Whitehaven beach (Whitsunday Islands) and out on the Great Barrier Reef. It was nice to see it while it is still there; who knows how much longer it will be alive. I tried diving for the first time and had a ball. 

We got rained out in Port Douglas and spent a solid two days in the van in a caravan park as landslips had closed the roads in and out of the place. That was testing, and we got very bored at times. Thanks to our good friend Pat Fountain who we stayed with in Brisbane, we had a fan to keep the insane humidity at bay. At times, it was intolerably hot and muggy. Combined with the inability to move from the car, we went a bit crazy in Port Douglas.

Once the rain cleared we schlepped across Queensland and half of the Northern Territory to the Stuart Highway, taking the long route as flooding had closed the main highway. Long stretches of road were at times very fun and at times intensely boring. We listened to a lot of true crime podcasts and audiobooks. There was also a fair share of silly dancing to loud music, something I hope we will never stop doing. The heat up north is something else in March and we were very grateful for the quality air conditioning in our van, Sheila. 

We stayed with a friend in Alice Springs who took us on a tour of the West Macdonnell ranges just outside town, exploring water holes and canyons. We also spent a good chunk of our time in Alice Springs watching Ru Paul’s Drag Race; an American reality show about drag queens I hadn’t watched previously but now love. A lasting memory of Alice Springs this time will be the flies, they were awful. Not awful enough to ruin the experience, but enough to leave an impression!

After Alice, we took a few days to get down to Adelaide (via Uluru), covering big distances across the NT and SA deserts, which are vast. They are beautiful in their own way and we came to love the landscape. In Adelaide we stayed with friends of a friend and had a couple of lovely days and nights out in a city we fell in love with. It has to be the most underrated city in the country and we want to go back for the fringe festival sometime. We used the opportunity to taste some excellent wines in the regions around Adelaide and had a couple of nights on the coast south of the city. A fantastic section of Australia. 

We stopped for a night in Ararat with a friend to break up the drive home, having a quick look at the new build he is project managing and were back in Melbourne just before the end of April. 

Another massive highlight of these two months was the three weddings we attended, two of which we flew back from Townsville then Alice Springs for. They were all wonderful and we felt very lucky to have such great friends around us and to be invited to such beautiful events. The first was for Simon and Bec (Simon is Tash’s old boss at Isobar). Theirs was at Emu Bottom Estate just outside Sunbury in Melbourne. The next was Tom and Hannah, good friends and neighbours of ours, who got married at Wye River where Hannah’s mum owns a house. The last was Andrew and David (I work with Andrew) who got married at Mt Ophir Estate near Rutherglen in the Indigo Valley, Victoria. 

South East Asia

This leg kicked off with a bit of minimoon crashing, as we joined forces with Tom and Hannah of above wedding fame for a beach/poolside holiday in Bali, split between Canggu and Uluwatu. This mostly consisted of chilling at the private villa we had in Canggu (outrageous I know), eating great food, drinking too much and reading lots. It was particularly nice to explore Uluwatu a bit, where Tash lived for a few months in 2014. Spending time in the beach clubs (the Lawn Club and Ulu Cliffhouse) also deserves a mention; it’s amazing what you get for your money in Bali. Only lowlight of this trip was Hannah coming off a scooter and badly hurting her leg, though this turned into a highlight when they got to the airport as she got ushered through check in and security in a wheelchair. Win. 

Next stop was Vietnam for a couple of weeks. We flew into Ho Chi Minh City to hang out with old friends and colleagues of mine from when I lived there back in 2006 and to explore old haunts. It was great to see the school I taught at again and spend lots of time with my good friend Mr Huy. We had dinner at his family’s house one night which was fantastic. Tash was unwell for much of our time in Ho Chi Minh which was disappointing, but otherwise it was a good time. It was also fun to get back into speaking Vietnamese, which I can speak conversationally, and which came in handy when getting around outside the tourist districts. 

We then spent a few days in Hoi An, where we surprised one of our neighbours from Flemington, Mara, for her 40th birthday. This was great fun, particularly the day we all dressed in matching fruit salad print threads and went out for lunch. Mara and her husband Petro have three adorable boys aged 7, 9 and 11 who were great to have around, and the whole thing was made possible by the two socialites of our street, Mark and Adrian, who are a bunch of fun to be with. Being with our neighbours made us miss home a bit and solidified both Tash and my love of our neighbourhood. 

Next was Hanoi for a night then up into the mountain town of Ha Giang on a sleeper bus to do a five day motorbike tour of the hills near the Chinese border, something I did with a uni friend back in 2011. The scenery in the mountains is spectacular, and seeing it from a motorbike is definitely the best way to do it. We ate fantastic local food, feasting every night in homestays. The only downside of this part of the trip was doing it with a guide, which seemed unnecessary. When I did it seven years ago, we didn’t see any tourists on bikes and didn’t even consider the possibility of doing it solo, but this time there were a lot, most doing it without assistance, which made us feel a bit silly for spending money on the guide when we could have done it ourselves. It was nice not to have to deal with the bike breaking down though, which it did, three times. 

We had one more night in Hanoi after the tour then spent five days in Bangkok with my uncle, who owns an apartment near Sukhumvit where he spends a few months of the year escaping winter and learning Thai. It was lovely to spend some time wiith him, poking around the local streets and riding the Klong (river canal) boats. A highlight was a night out at Blue Elephant restaurant, a Michelin guide restaurant, for a fancy many course meal with matched Thai wines.

Serbia volume I and Bosnia

We arrived in Serbia on 2 June where we will be spending about a month, collectively, in Novi Sad, the city where Tash’s dad’s family live. We are staying with her aunt and uncle in their house with a huge vegetable garden that spits out flavourful tomatoes, cucumbers, peppers, lettuce and all kinds of fruits and berries. These are fantastic complements to what is otherwise a very carb and meat heavy (and endlessly delicious) diet. Tash’s aunt is the best cook in Serbia in my humble opinion.

We have spent a lot of time hanging out with family, drinking coffees, rakija (brandy) and beers in the back yard, and doing a bit of gardening when the time is right. We have done a few trips into the city to explore and shop, and been for long training walks (for the West Highland Way walk we are doing in Scotland in August) and bike rides. We have also had a couple of days at the Strand, a beach on the Danube river where there are lounges, bars and loud music playing all day. Fantastic people watching and a great way to spend a sunny day.

We recently had five days with Tash’s mum’s side of the family in Banja Luka, the second largest city in Bosnia and Herzegovina, in one of the Serbian controlled regions. I have been brushing up on my history a little, learning about how complex the politics and consequent wars were in its region of the world in the 1990s. There is just nothing good that seems to come from war. It is striking how recent it was and to notice some of the cultural, physical and emotional scars that still remain.

This week, there is an international wine festival on in Novi Sad, which we will imbibe in, then we have a family friend’s apartment booked in the city centre for the weekend. Next week we are taking Tash’s aunt white water rafting, then the week after that we are off to Greece for a couple of weeks. Tough life...

[limejuicer1862]

May 2

..scratching..

quiet now

we can hear the birds no problem one lorry on the road essential travel

then

we hear the scratching

when dark comes comes the scuttlings

flutterings outside

bats fly round our houses

inside others live and die

the fly

&

the moth comes lovely soft and tasteful

nothing distasteful

we saves them lifts them out the bath a dry flannel as assistance

remember that fly in the room you wanted to swat for annoying. left alone it went quietly away

night came full of sounds

mice scratching enough to leave

marks

enough to leave marks

the fly does

buzz when it flies buzz as it dies

zzzzzt

-sonia benskin mesher

*

Inclined to mention the halo of a mountain, somewhere I am fourteen years old. This is a mountain behind a house where I still remain, in this thought-process, every child chews spearmint gum. It is definitely spearmint gum, and the mountain is only a halo, now, this time, elsewhere. Like, I don’t know, like Mark Fisher says, this stasis has been buried – ‘the inventor of the term, a frustrating thinker’.

*

In the summer’s taped shut windows, without seeing flies in years.

Hit mosquitos against the wall, once observing blood left behind.

-Alex Mazey

Geyser

Soul rumbles as grumble dark bellows push their boiling fist. Hot drops, boiled rain.

Angry fats splatter into faint signs, streaks of early mournful light.

Fire waters bubble and churn chained by conventions, damned by convection. In breaking songs of earth’s heat, brash displays of prorogued grief.

Water crouches, fluid evasive. As pain it cannot be broken. Desire free to flow, hurt a haunt of generations.

So strictures die and violence will be a multiple of passing times.

https://thewombwellrainbow.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/geyser.m4a

-©️ Dai Fry 1st May 2020.

In memory of those left behind : 9 December 2019

Sun’s first sleep-breath sweets the dropped shoulder of te puia whakaari, her bones

in early mistlight, are all grace and delicate pickings, gulled clavicles of a hard dancer, stilled. Coiled tension, resting.

It is hard to recognise a haunting, in the rose-gilt of sunrise. Do you know her name? When you recognised it, did you forget to exhale? Release your living now to cloud

the pane we do not see – watch deep scratches creep across this vision. The guardians are always here, and the light oh the light may change any moment.

-Ankh Spice

The Yellow Forest

Awakening – Dry mouth burning eyes skin burn, breathe. Pin point vision echoing mission failed fission, inhale. Heavy feet slow reaction no connection – A siren a siren! Wake up stand up react retract, breathe.

Forest Walk – Dislodge move seek react engage stop! Burning embers leaves glowing eagles falling feathers floating, breathe. Listen observe – A lark hark the warning A flash a flash, breathe. Eyes open sight broken, breathe.

Chokehold – Black river dead fish foul odour slow down, Breathe. Soil on fire charcoal roots sprouting rotten fruit – Stop smell retreat, breathe. Dead of night presence sucking remaining air laboured breathing heartbeat slowing – Find the opening, breathe. Look beware – Run!

https://thewombwellrainbow.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/the-yellow-forest-mp3.mp3

The Gamdroela

Far beyond the Hottentotshuisie Mountains, a mythical creature awaits to reward the chosen one – Elected by the Bokmakierie Korrelkop, a strange elusive soothsayer, traditionally enshrined to make a wise choice – A new ruler for the remote Belhar nation to once again wear the sacred crown of Sekueb Nodmai, she whose voice still echo from deep within the Bolemakiesie marshlands – A treacherous journey awaits the young Tandpyn, Prince of the Bloekomboom tree nation, whose Lands have nearly been scorched bare by the Fiery blizzards of Macassar – Now charged with the ultimate sacrifice, crossing the Moddergat fynbos wetlands to eventually reach the steep trail leading up to Fluweeltjie – Lair of the ancient Gamdroela , a kleurvolle Colourful but powerful oracle who will Decide on the worthiness of the young Tandpyn…

-Don Beukes

The Dream

I had a dream last night Of walking thru a forest-like place Filled with earthy illuminances

I could barely make out the sharp Round edges of branches and limbs Bathed in a heavenly glow

These trees, so strange yet so familiar These giants, so murky yet so real Their aromatic odors filled my essence

And for the briefest of moments I believed to be back home among these ancient pines Until my eyes opened to the sterile white walls

-Carrie Ann Golden

Fly Away, Dream

When television broadcasting Ended after late night news And comedy shows, yellow, blue, magenta hues

On test patterns Would send humanity To bed, to fly away wistfully,

As on insect wings, To a place of dreams And endless possibilities.

https://thewombwellrainbow.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/fly-away-dream.m4a

-st

flaiku

what to us is dross is a rainbow to the fly perspective is key

-Rich Follett

Her Splash Of Veins

flutters, is still, proboscis twitch. Flutters, is still, twitch.

Splash of wheat in fields, Flutters as flywings.

Strands of wheat flywalk skin as she passes she swats the touch away.

Till as she treads down more stalks into the unmade bread of the field bunches of wheat stroke her thighs and she smiles at the bright sun of it all.

Snatches a stalk, lets it hang from her mouth a proboscis tremble in the gust of her dreams of flight above the ready to be harvested grain rises toward sun blaze newly risen

warm bread a splash of veins in full colour, breathes in her baked youth like goodness.

https://thewombwellrainbow.files.wordpress.com/2020/05/her-splash-of-veins.m4a

-Paul Brookes Bios and Links

-Alex Mazey

(b.1991) received his MA (distinction) from Keele University in 2017. He later won The Roy Fisher Prize for Poetry with his debut pamphlet, ‘Bread and Salt’ (Flarestack, TBA). He was also the recipient of a Creative Future Writers’ Award in 2019. His poetry has featured regularly in anthologies and literary press magazines, most notably in The London Magazine. His collection of essays, ‘Living in Disneyland’, will be available from Broken Sleep Books in October 2020. Alex spent 2018 as a resident of The People’s Republic of China, where he taught the English Language in a school run by the Ministry of Education. His writing has been described as ‘wry and knowing,’ with ‘an edge that tears rather than cuts or deals blows.’

Twitter: @AlexzanderMazey

Instagram: alexmazey

Here is my interview of Alex:

https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2018/12/18/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-alex-mazey/

-Rich Follett

is a High School English and Creative Writing teacher who has been writing poems and songs for more than forty years. His poems have been featured in numerous online and print journals, including BlazeVox, The Montucky Review, Paraphilia, Leaf Garden Press and the late Felino Soriano’s CounterExample Poetics, for which he was a featured artist. Three volumes of poetry, Responsorials (with Constance Stadler), Silence, Inhabited, and Human &c. are available through NeoPoiesis Press (www.neopoiesispress.com.)

As a singer-songwriter, Rich has released five albums of independent contemporary folk music. His latest. Somewhere in the Stars, is available at http://www.richfollett.com. He lives with his wife Mary Ruth Alred Follett in the Shenandoah Valley of Virginia, where he also pursues his interests as a professional actor, playwright, and director.

-Ankh Spice

is a sea-obsessed poet from Aotearoa (NZ). His poetry has appeared in a wide range of international publications and has twice been nominated for the Pushcart Prize. He truly believes that words have the power to change the place we’re in, and you’ll find him doing his best to prove it on

Twitter: @SeaGoatScreams or on Facebook: @AnkhSpiceSeaGoatScreamsPoetry

-Carrie Ann Golden

is a deafblind writer from the mystical Adirondack Mountains now living on a farmstead in northeastern North Dakota. She writes dark fiction and poetry. Her work has been published in places like Piker Press, Edify Fiction, Doll Hospital Journal, The Hungry Chimera, GFT Press, Asylum Ink, and Visual Verse.

-sonja benskin mesher

born , Bournemouth.

now

lives and works in North Wales as an independent artist

‘i am a multidisciplinary artist, crafting paint, charcoal, words and whatever comes to hand, to explain ideas and issues

words have not come easily. I draw on experience, remember and write. speak of a small life’.

Elected as a member of the Royal Cambrian Academy and the United Artists Society The work has been in solo exhibitions through Wales and England, and in selected and solo worldwide. Much of the work is now in both private, and public collections, and has been featured in several television documentaries, radio programmes and magazines.

Here is my interview of sonja benskin mesher:

https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2018/10/16/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-sonja-benskin-mesher/

-Samantha Terrell

is an American poet whose work emphasizes emotional integrity and social justice. She is the author of several eBooks including, Learning from Pompeii, Coffee for Neanderthals, Disgracing Lady Justice and others, available on smashwords.com and its affiliates.Chapbook: Ebola (West Chester University Poetry Center, 2014)

Website: poetrybysamantha.weebly.com Twitter: @honestypoetry

Here is my 2020 interview of her:

https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2020/04/08/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-samantha-terrell/

-Don Beukes

is a South African and British writer. He is the author of ‘The Salamander Chronicles’ (CTU) and ‘Icarus Rising-Volume 1’ (ABP), an ekphrastic collection. He taught English and Geography in both South Africa and the UK. His poetry has been anthologized in numerous collections and translated into Afrikaans, Persian, French and Albanian. He was nominated by Roxana Nastase, editor of Scarlet Leaf Review for the ‘Best of the Net’ in 2017 as well as the Pushcart Poetry Prize (USA) in 2016. He was published in his first SA Anthology ‘In Pursuit of Poetic Perfection’ in 2018 (Libbo Publishers) and his second ‘Cape Sounds’ in 2019 (Gavin Joachims Publishing). He is also an amateur photographer and his debut Photographic publication appeared in Spirit Fire Review in June 2019. His new book, ‘Sic Transit Gloria Mundi’/Thus Passes the Glory of this World’ is due to be published by Concrete Mist Press.

Here is my interview of Don Beukes:

https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2019/11/02/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-don-beukes/

-Dai Fry

is an old new poet. He worked in social care but now has no day job. A keen photographer and eater of literature and lurid covers. Fascinated by nature, physics, pagans, sea and storm. His poetry seeks to capture image and tell philosophical tales. Published in Black Bough Poetry, Re-Side, The Hellebore Press and the Pangolin Review. He can be seen reading on #InternationalPoetryCircle and regularly appears on #TopTweetTuesday. Twitter. @thnargg Web    seekingthedarklight.co.uk

Audio/Visual.       @IntPoetryCircle #InternationalPoetryCircle Twitter #TopTweetTuesday

-Paul Brookes

is a shop asst. Lives in a cat house full of teddy bears. His chapbooks include The Fabulous Invention Of Barnsley, (Dearne Community Arts, 1993). The Headpoke and Firewedding (Alien Buddha Press, 2017), A World Where and She Needs That Edge (Nixes Mate Press, 2017, 2018) The Spermbot Blues (OpPRESS, 2017), Port Of Souls (Alien Buddha Press, 2018), Please Take Change (Cyberwit.net, 2018), Stubborn Sod, with Marcel Herms (artist) (Alien Buddha Press, 2019), As Folk Over Yonder ( Afterworld Books, 2019). Forthcoming Khoshhali with Hiva Moazed (artist), Our Ghost’s Holiday (Final book of threesome “A Pagan’s Year”) . He is a contributing writer of Literati Magazine and Editor of Wombwell Rainbow Interviews.

-Mary Frances

is an artist and writer based in the UK. She takes a few photos every day, for inspiration and to use in her work. The images for this project were all taken in the last two years on walks during in the month of May. Her words and images have been published by Penteract Press, Metambesen, Ice Floe Press, Burning House Press, Inside the Outside, Luvina Rivista Literaria, and Lone Women in Flashes of Wilderness. Twitter: @maryfrancesness

-James Knight

is an experimental poet and digital artist. His books include Void Voices (Hesterglock Press) and Self Portrait by Night (Sampson Low). His visual poems have been published in several places, including the Penteract Press anthology Reflections and Temporary Spaces (Pamenar Press). Chimera, a book of visual poems, is due from Penteract Press in July 2020.

Website: thebirdking.com.

Twitter: @badbadpoet

Here is my interview of James Knight:

https://thewombwellrainbow.com/2019/01/06/wombwell-rainbow-interviews-james-knight/

Welcome to a special ekphrastic challenge for May. Artworks from Mary Frances, James Knight and Sue Harpham will be the inspiration for writers, Alex Mazey, Ankh Spice, Samantha Terrell, Dai Fry, Carrie Ann Golden, sonja menskin mesher, Rich Follett, Don Beukes and myself. May 2nd May 2 ..scratching.. quiet now we can hear the birds no problem one lorry on the road essential travel…

[aftaabmagazine]

Home After 20 Years: Travel to Herat

words and photos By Fariba Nawa 

From the 2001 issue of Afghan Magazine | Lemar-Aftaab

Journalist Fariba Nawa traveled to her hometown in 2000 which was then under Taliban rule. Here is her story. 

Flies buzzed and circled around my face. I swatted them away with my hands as I slowly looked up to a dozen men watching me. Standing in line at the Iranian border waiting to cross into my hometown Herat, Afghanistan, the men stared at my face and hands - the only bared parts of my body. My hair and the rest of my body were covered in observance of Iran's dress code for women.

Keeping my eyes to the floor to avoid the ogling, the Iranian border agent called my name. My hands trembled as I handed him my Afghan passport - perhaps the least useful travel document in the world. In a matter of minutes, I would be home again after nearly 20 years. I was eight years old the last time I crossed the Silk Route. The desert I was about to cross was the frontlines of war. My parents, sister and I walked as donkeys carried our belongings for six hours until we reached safety in Iran.

My family fled Afghanistan during the Soviet invasion in 1981. We escaped to California where I grew up.

As an adult, I am Americanized but Afghanistan is in my heart and memories. I visualized returning to my grandfather's orchard home, where I used to play with my cousins and eat the sundry of fruits we picked from trees. The 5-acre home was a sanctuary from my parents' neighborhood where the boom of rockets and bullets echoed in our backyard.

The Afghan-Soviet war has turned into a civil war now as Afghans struggle to survive in the wake of more United Nations sanctions. One of the poorest countries in the world, Afghanistan is facing a severe drought as well as the threat of starvation. The Taliban, the militia ruling the majority of the country, enforce a strict code of law. In the name of religion, they forbid women from going to school or working in most fields and force men to pray. Women must travel with a male kin and wear a burqa, which covers the body like a tent with only a mesh for sight. Men must sport long, scraggly beards. This was the Afghanistan I was about to enter.

My cousin's best friend was my rented male kin or mahram traveling with me. Mobin was a merchant who traveled across Iran and Afghanistan, selling buttons and lace to survive. He saw his wife and 18-month-old son in Herat one week out of every month. Shrewd and experienced on the road, Mobin promised to take me from Iran to Afghanistan and finally back to Pakistan, where I worked as a freelance journalist.

With my American passport hidden under my bra, I held my breath as we passed Taliban customs. We rented a taxi with two other women. Mobin was also their mahram. The Taliban banned music, but the taxi driver popped in the latest Afghan folk songs and increased the volume as we headed toward Herat. An ancient city once known for its art and culture in Central Asia -- now it is the only Afghan city with a running economy.

The station wagon rolled up and down on the sand dunes. I took out my journal and wrote under my black coat. Every time a man appeared in the distant, the other women and I covered our faces with the edge of our headscarves.

"Don't worry. The Taliban are scared of women," Mobin said.

"They usually stop cars with men. The ones with women, they turn their heads."

We decided to don the burqa once we reached the city. In disbelief, I closed my eyes, smelled the air and listened to the folk singer, who had recorded his music in Virginia. The singer lamented that he was distant from his homeland. But I was finally home.

Two hours later in pitch dark, we entered the gates of the city. My heart was throbbing. The adobe, high walls hid the houses, but downtown was lit up in neon-colored lights. Men rode their bicycles on the unpaved roads. It was 10 p.m., and there was not a woman in sight.

[caption: A shrine in Herat.]

The taxi stopped in front of Mobin's house, I stepped down and kissed the ground, then looked up at the sky. The fall breeze blew the dust in my eyes, but I could still see the constellations, shooting stars and the moon. That's the closest I have gotten to euphoria.

The people I knew in Herat were distant relatives with the exception of my step-grandmother, who still lives on our land. My mother's uncle was the only one who knew I was coming because he was one of the few owners of a telephone. I stayed with his two wives and their children. They were fairly well off and rebellious. Disobeying the Taliban's ban on music and television, a satellite dish propped up on their porch, a television and musical instruments in the basements. My five female cousins, mostly teenagers, did not clandestinely go to home schools as did some girls. They did their house chores and learned to read the Koran from a religious teacher for an hour a day while their 15-year-old brother attended public high school and took English courses.

This family's attitude toward the Taliban was typical of other Heratis. They have accepted the limitations in exchange for peace. However, they want Ismail Khan back in power. While warlords, once freedom fighters against the Russians, fought each other, Ismail Khan began to develop Herat, and he was still corrupt but better than the Taliban, my relatives said.

[caption: Few of the minarets built during the 15th century Timurid Empire are still standing. Others were toppled during the past 20 years of war.]

The ruling militia has instilled a chilling fear in Afghans, especially women. Since Herat is the Taliban's base for money, they give its residents more leeway to break the law. Heratis take advantage, but they go about it in a schizophrenic manner. My cousins would drum on their tambourines at midnight, cursing the Taliban as they sang. The next day, the girls whispered in conversation, afraid the Taliban were coming to get them. One way of appeasing the Taliban was to invite their ringleaders to parties where they joined in the festivity.

I kept a low profile, not asking too many questions and staying inside most of the time. I fit in surprisingly well despite my liberal ideas and informal mannerisms. My relatives assumed I had forgotten the Persian language and Islam, both of which I have kept.

[caption: One of the sarachas; strangers live in my family home now.]

On the second day of my journey, I bravely put on the burqa like my mother used to and hit the streets for the first time with my cousins. I walked slowly embarrassed that I might trip on the flowing fabric. There is an ironic power in being invisible. Men in public noticed my ankles and hands, but they did not look at my eyes watching them. I stared at their expressions and actions, reading them without the interruption of their gaze.

We first rode a decorated Toyota Corolla taxi, then a horse wagon to reach my family home. I knocked at the old brass gate. A child opened the door and led me to my grandmother. She was praying. I lifted the front of my burqa as she turned her head. My grandmother, 70, screamed in disbelief like I was a ghost. She passed out for a few seconds before hugging me and sobbed on my shoulders.

[caption: Our four-acre house in Herat was sold and divided into four small homes. This is the doorway leading to one of the sarachas.]

The next few days passed so quickly in glee. I went shopping, visited shrines and my school where I stopped attending after I witnessed a bomb kill my second-grade classmates 19 years ago.

On the seventh day of my trip back to Herat, I stepped into the orchard home, saving the best for last. I threw my burqa on the ground and sprinted toward the living quarters, hearing my family's laughter inside the hallways.

[caption: My cousin Ehsan, 16, stands in front of Gazergah where renowned Sufi poet Khwaja Abdullah Ansary is buried.]

But there was no one and no laughter. The doors of the 11 rooms were locked shut, some of their windows broken. I ran out to the field, frantically looking for the mulberry and pomegranate trees where we had picnics.

I found the trees but no harvest due to the drought. The entire place seemed much smaller. I kept running into walls. Then I recalled that my uncles sold three acres of the land a few years ago. My happy nostalgia turned into despair. I climbed the roof overlooking the city, buried my face in my hands and wept.

[caption: My maternal grandfather's orchard where all my happy memories of Afghanistan live. The orchard yielded little harvest because of the drought in the last couple of years.]

The tears were a catharsis, an acceptance of the past as past. My distance from Herat for these 20 years had left a void in me. I was missing something as I had lived my comfortable Western life in San Francisco. But 10,000 miles away, leaning at the edge of my childhood roof, I felt a sense of completion, that I was coming back full circle, fulfilling a spiritual journey. 

About Fariba Nawa

Fariba Nawa, an award-winning Afghan-American journalist, covers a range of issues and specializes in women’s rights and conflict zones. She is based in Istanbul, Turkey and has traveled extensively to the Middle East, Central and South Asia. Visit Her Website

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Communication Build Up and Break Down

The nervous system is the information highway of our bodies. So, what happens when there’s a traffic jam, or a rogue traveler refusing to go with the flow? This week’s Speaker Spotlight will focus on those who are working to understand how this system works, and what happens when it doesn’t. Communication in the nervous system is dynamic, ranging from electrical signals to the transfer of genetic material, and the communication can come from some unlikely places, like our gut. This communication is critical, and when it breaks down, we see a variety of ailments and illnesses emerge. The question is, how can we stop this communication breakdown?

A good place to start is to establish just how our neural network communicates. Jason Shepherd, an associate professor at the University of Utah, studies how the brain stores information, as well as how these processes can malfunction due to neurological disorders and age-related cognitive decline. Jason and his team at Shepherd Lab have discovered how Arc, a neuronal gene protein that is critical for long-term memory and synaptic plasticity, is able to form viral-like capsids capable of transporting RNA. Jason sees that the larger implications of this discovery could transform genetic engineering and gene therapy, as many gene therapies often use viruses foreign to the human body, and this protein is native to it. As we learn more about how our nervous system transfers information, we remain hopeful that scientists like Jason will be able to find ways to prevent the communication breakdown from occurring.

When blood flow in the brain is disrupted, leaving the neural communication system without oxygen, a communication breakdown occurs. This can have devastating effects on a person’s life, making stroke prevention and treatment critical for our internal information interstate. According to the American Stroke Association, stroke is the fifth-largest cause of death in the United States, killing nearly 130,000 people a year. It is also a leading cause of long-term disability and the leading preventable cause of disability. Inspired by the loss of a patient who would have benefitted from more immediate care, Chris Mansi and his team at Viz.ai got to work developing an artificial intelligence (AI) platform to dramatically reduce the amount of time it takes to detect and triage strokes. Using machine learning software to evaluate brain scans, Viz.ai’s technology is getting critical patients into treatment faster. In February 2018, the FDA granted a de novo clearance for Viz LVO, the first-ever computer-aided triage and notification platform. Most recently, Viz.ai announced its second FDA clearance for Viz CTP through the 510(k) pathway, offering healthcare providers an important tool for automated cerebral image analysis. While the brain is getting choked by a blood clot or bleed, Viz.ai has found a way to improve the communication system outside the body to treat it.

Sarkis Mazmanian, the Luis & Nelly Soux Professor of Microbiology in the Division of Biology and Biological Engineering at the California Institute of Technology, is looking at how unlikely systems are interacting with the nervous system and impacting brain function. With the majority of research for neurodegenerative diseases, like Parkinson’s Disease, focusing on the brain, Sarkis has turned to the gut, looking specifically at the microbiome and how it communicates with the brain. There are a variety of ways in which scientists are studying the relationship between the gut and Parkinson’s, as well as Alzheimer’s disease. Sarkis focuses on how the specific microbes in a person’s gut can impact the brain. In addition to researching how the gut microbiome impacts our nervous system, Sarkis has done extensive research on the relationship between the gut microbiome and the immune system focused on answering the question: why are these bacteria not attacked by our immune system? Sarkis’s team found that the immune response to these bacteria actually benefits both the bacteria and the host. With his most recent published work focused on how the gut microbiome impacts locomotor behavior in fruit flies, Sarkis continues to deepen our understanding of how our microbiome communicates with our bodily systems.

While a good diet and proper sleep are good for everyone, they can be especially impactful for those who may be prone to Alzheimer’s disease. Zooming out of the microbiome and zooming back into the brain, Padideh Kamali-Zare created computational models to understand the role cell structures play in their function during her PhD studies in Sweden, and she has applied this learning to how Alzheimer’s progresses in the brain. At Darmiyan, Padideh and her team are developing software that can detect Alzheimer’s disease up to fifteen years before symptoms of cognitive decline. Using just regular brain MRI scans, Darmiyan produces maps and scores that can detect the progression of the disease. With early detection, they aim to dramatically change lives and therapeutic development, including incorporating the best candidates for clinical trials in new therapies. By alerting individuals earlier about the potential onset of Alzheimer’s disease, Darmiyan’s technology can empower them to take steps to delay cognitive decline.

Today’s healthcare system places a heavy emphasis on healing the body, but often less so on healing the mind, leading to mental health issues that slip past doctors unnoticed and untreated. And where a mental health need is detected, physical care providers are often disconnected from our outnumbered mental health professionals, making care coordination and referral difficult, at best. Quartet Health is focused on bridging this divide, by providing primary care providers with the technology and tools to identify patients who need care. To do so, Quartet connects primary care providers with four key stakeholders: patients, behavioral health clinicians, medical health providers, and payers. Robert Accordino, Chief of Behavioral Health at Quartet, will join us in Palm Springs to share the exciting potential of Quartet’s approach that connects care of the body with the care of the mind.

Yuri Maricich and his team at Pear Therapeutics are taking a radically different approach to treat matters of the mind. By literally reshaping how we think about therapeutics, Pear has found a way to treat substance abuse, mental disorders, and neurodegenerative diseases—wherever and whenever. Based on the premise that software not only has the power to change behavior, but can also change brain function, Pear created their first app, reSET, to help treat patients with substance use disorder. reSET, a Prescription Digital Therapeutics (PDT), is the first of its kind to receive FDA approval, distinguishing it from the 10,000 other apps that may show up when you search the App Store. Through their work, Pear is finding new ways to repair the brain’s communication system while also providing a better communication system between patients and doctors.

While there is still much to learn about how the human brain functions and communicates, it is clear that we are making significant progress. Whether that is identifying Alzheimer’s disease earlier or improving how we provide treatment for mental health conditions, there are many ways that scientists, researchers, and entrepreneurs are improving our understanding of our body’s vast information highway. With improved understanding, we also are able to develop better technologies and treatments for diseases and disorders of the brain. These exciting discoveries in how the brain functions, as well as innovative ways to treat brain diseases, are shining a light toward a healthier future.

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