#amazon sex toys

[sexswansworld]

I get so excited when sex toys come in the mail, I was on the phone with a friend today and I was like “OH MY GOD IT’S HERE!” But I couldn’t tell him that it was a questionable sex toy so I just had a little internal freak out.

[urlocalcryptid-rob]

new photo series collection of things amazon has advertised to me that are definitely not sex toys

[harlecore]

i think im probably going to have to saran wrap that ball gag just to be on the safe side it's going to look sooo dumb my b for buying amazon shit i guess 😭

[loubella77]

Who’s ready? I am!

Dm me if you also wanna be a sex toy tester, I can send u to a REAL account 😎

[rainbowgothdisaster]

so fun fact about tattoos i have learned:

they look like this the next day :)

[themultifanshipper]

Dom lando convincing Oscar to try different types of sex toys and lando loving it as much as Oscar and maybe I could see Oscar being a size queen just loving being filled either by lando or dildos like big bigggg ones

The first time Lando suggested it, he'd been joking. 

But the look on Oscar's face, and the fact that he came prematurely as soon as the words were out of Lando's mouth, told Lando everything he needed to know about what Oscar thought of the idea. 

Warnings:  smut, fingering, fisting, using big-ass dildos, blowjob, crying, Lando being a bit mean

Lando was big.  

Not in like, a ‘I have a big dick and an ego to match’ way, but he was fucking big. 

And he was actually quite shy about it, because sometimes it could make sex quite difficult if his partners weren't prepped thoroughly. 

Sometimes he bottomed just to avoid the conversation and hassle. Which he did enjoy, but he preferred to be the top.  

And a rather dominant top at that. 

So when Oscar mentioned to him offhandedly that he could take anything, he had to see for himself. 

They ended up in bed together several times before the afore mentioned incident. 

Oscar was a noisy bottom, and Lando had been getting a bit too into the prepping part and had decided to go up to four fingers and make Oscar come like that. 

And he jokingly said something along the lines of “What if I put all my fingers in? I bet I could get my whole fist inside you.” 

And, well. Oscar came without uttering a single word about it. But he didn't need to. 

Lando got his dick in him as soon as he could and that was the end of the conversation. 

Until the next day when he brought it up again, in the conference room of all places. 

Oscar choked on his coffee and stared daggers at Lando. Thank god they were the only ones in there. 

Long story short, that very night was the first time Lando got a whole fist in Oscar, and they both came completely untouched. 

But Lando was nothing if not greedy. He wanted more. 

He wanted to see how much Oscar could really take. 

And Oscar was insatiable in nature so he readily agreed to Lando's antics. 

Every few weeks he would come home and find Lando sitting there with an unopened amazon box. 

He never opened them on his own. He would always wait for Oscar to come home and open it, because he wanted to see the hungry look in his eyes when he saw each toy for the first time. 

Dildo number four made his eyes widen and his mouth water. 

It was a good 3 inches wide, and made Lando's cock look like a tooth pick, no offense. 

That night they did their usual ritual. 

Oscar had been wearing a big plug for a few hours to help with the prep. 

Lando grabbed a bottle of lube (they had about 30 bottles, because they were on sale and they used a lot of lube, sue them) and squirted a generous amount on one of the previously bought dildos. 

Oscar sank down on it like a pro, whining at the stretch as Lando held his hips steady so he wouldn't topple over. 

He didn't take long to start riding it, sweat already dampening his hairline as his toned thighs bounced his weight up and down. 

Lando was in awe, as usual. 

He watched as Oscar took it further and further down, moaning like a slut the whole time. It made his dick throb. 

Pretty soon it wasn't enough, and Oscar sank all the way down to the base and huffed. 

“Okay, I'm ready.” He panted. 

Lando nodded, helping him off and putting him on his hands and knees. 

“Spread your legs as far as you can” he muttered excitedly, using as much lube as he could. 

He needed Oscarwet. 

He took a second to admire Oscar, bent over and back arched, hole already gaping slightly. 

“Are you gonna put it in or do I have to do it myself?” 

Lando chuckled, placing the tip against Oscar’s rim. 

“As usual, tell me if anything feels wrong or painful” 

Oscar sighed. “Yes Lando, now put it in me” 

“What's the magic word?”  

“I will fucking leave” 

“Okay, okay” 

He put a bit of pressure on the dildo, making Oscar's rim stretch around it. 

When the head finally popped in, Oscar whimpered pathetically into the sheets. 

“Oh fuck, more” 

Lando laughed, grabbing the lube to squirt some more on the dildo before pushing it in a bit more. 

The man under him let out a bone rattling groan and that encouraged him to push another couple of inches in. 

He pumped it in and out shallowly for a minute, then added a couple more inches. 

Oscar was drooling onto the sheets as he felt the fullness inside him.

“Lando” he panted. “Lando, please. More” 

Lando obliged, and before long, he had almost pushed the whole thing in. Given the size of the damn thing, there was no way his prostate wasn't being constantly stimulated.

“Oscar… fuck. You're doing so good for me, just a little more...”  

He pumped it in and out some more, making Oscar keen and writhe beneath him. 

“Lando! Lando fuck- I'm gonna come!” he whined. 

Lando grinned, he thrusted it faster and harder. 

“Go on then baby, come for me” 

Oscar's body jolted, shockwaves traveling up his spine as he shot ropes of cum across the sheets under him. 

Lando slowly stilled his movements, letting Oscar ride out his intense orgasm. 

Now, up until this point, you could think that Lando wasn't particularly dominant. Just sort of, there, guiding Oscar more than anything. 

You would be wrong. 

The next step was what Lando was truly looking forward to. 

He put the already dirty sheet on the floor, next to the bed. 

“Osc?” 

Oscar gave him an exhausted thumbs up from where he was laying on the bed, the dildo still half way inside him. 

“You're not done yet, baby, come over here” 

He gently pulled the dildo out of his lover, and placed it upright on the floor. 

“You think you can ride it for me?” 

Oscar nodded, crawling over to him on the bed, giving him a quick kiss before standing up and crouching over it. He put his hands on Lando's thighs to stabilise himself.

He sank down on it slowly, head thrown back and his long nails digging into Lando's flesh painfully. 

But Lando didn't care, he was entranced by the way Oscar was stretched around something bigger than his fucking arm.

He managed to sink down about three quarters of the way before he gasped. 

“Jesus, the feeling is much different with this angle” 

One of Lando’s hands went to cup Oscar's jaw, pressing into his cheeks harshly. 

“I want to see you take it. All of it” he snapped.

Oscar whimpered when Lando pushed his thumb into his mouth to press on his tongue. 

Oscar obeyed, sinking further down, inch by inch until his ass met his heels. 

“Good boy”  

A bead of precum leaked from Oscar's tip at the praise, and he lifted his hips slightly only to drop them back down, moaning around Lando's thumb as he did so. 

It wasn't long before he got into a rhythm with his hips, and Lando grabbed him by the hair to bring him closer to his own leaking cock. 

“Give it a kiss” he said, and Oscar looked up at him with wide eyes. 

“Go on, you haven't touched it all night. Least you can do is kiss it”  

There it was. Lando's slightly sadistic side. 

Oscar knew better than to argue. 

He kissed the tip, then made his way to the base, placing soft kisses along the skin. 

Lando sighed at finally being touched. “Good, now open your mouth for me” 

Oscar stuck his tongue out for good measure, and wasn't surprised in the least when Lando tapped his cock on it a few times before sinking into the wet heat of his mouth. 

Because Oscar was a size queen, and it didn't just apply to his ass. 

His gag reflex was non-existent, and he adored the feeling of his mouth being stretched around Lando's thick girth. 

“You look so fucking good Osc. You were made to be fucking filled up, weren't you? Stuffed full of cock all day…” 

Being filled from both ends is what really did it for Oscar, so that plus Lando's filthy commentary drove him wild, and it didn't take long before he was whining around it as he came all over himself, eyes rolling into the back of his skull. 

Lando had been on edge for the better part of an hour, so the sight of that alone was enough to send him over himself, rocking his cock in and out of Oscar's mouth as the absolute whore swallowed it all. 

Lando pulled out and let go of his tight hold on Oscar's hair. 

“Now, you're going to do one last thing for me Osc. You're gonna come again...” 

The younger man looked up at him with wide eyes, incredulous at the order. 

"I don't know that I can come again Lando. That took everything out of me“ 

“You can, and you will…” 

He sat back on the bed, leaning on his arm as he took in the sight of his teammate. 

Flushed from his chest up to his cheeks, cock soft where it was hanging between his thighs. 

“I want you to bounce on that dildo, and get yourself off while I watch” 

Lando had a goal in mind. He wanted to see Oscar come dry. 

He'd only done so once before, and it was a beautiful sight. 

Oscar cried, tears streaming down his face while he could do nothing but ride the waves of his orgasm in pure bliss. 

He wanted to see that again. 

And the sheet below Oscar was absolutely soaked, so he had a feeling it would only take one more. 

Oscar looked at him defiantly and raised his hips. 

When he dropped back down, he couldn't help but let out a low moan, and his cock twitched. 

Lando motioned towards it. 

“Go on, give it a tug. You’re gonna have to do better than that if you want to get off” 

Oscar wrapped a hand around himself, letting out a breath at the contact. 

He hadn't been touched either tonight and he found himself quickly hardening again at the new stimulation. 

His thighs burned as he bounced, hand almost a blur where he was desperately fisting his cock. 

He had tears in his eyes and was moaning freely while looking at Lando with the most torn expression on his face. 

It felt good, too good. He was so overstimulated it bordered on pain, but he kept going. 

“Lando” he whined “help me, please. Talk to me” 

Lando groaned at the almost broken sounds coming out of the younger man. 

“You want me to talk to you, baby? Want me to tell you what a good boy you're being?” 

Oscar nodded desperately. 

“Well, too bad. It's been what, five minutes? And you still haven't come yet. You're such a whore you can't even get yourself off on your own anymore. Fucking pathetic. Worthless sluts like you don’t deserve to be touched, do they? No, so be a good boy for once and fucking. Come.” 

Oscar screeched as he felt his entire body burn with pleasure. His hips stuttered and his hand pumped his cock a couple more times. 

“Fuck, fuck, fuck-” 

His poor cock throbbed, but only a drop or two of cum dribbled out, dripping down his angry red tip as he cried out. 

Lando got what he wanted. Oscar had tears staining his cheeks as he whimpered pathetically, slumping forwards and panting against the side of the bed. 

Lando helped him off the dildo, laying him down on his back, on the bed with his legs spread. 

Lando looked at where Oscar’s twitching hole was gaping, trying to clench around nothing. 

He was hard again, so he took himself in hand, and with a sight like that in front of him, it didn’t take long for him to come all over Oscar's spread thighs.

When he looked up he saw that Oscar had his arms crossed behind his head and was grinning at him. 

“Did you enjoy that, Lando?” 

Lando nodded, breathing heavily after his orgasm. 

“Yeah, was mint” 

Oscar scoffed and rolled over to get off the bed and make his way to the bathroom. 

“Mint” he ranted “If that's what you want to call it, then sure, it was mint” 

Lando blushed, following him into the shower. 

“you know what I meant” he wrapped his arms around Oscar. “I loved it. Thank you” 

He pressed a kiss to Oscar's nose and the taller man rolled his eyes. 

“Sometimes I don't know why I indulge your fantasies” 

Lando smirked, pressing himself closer to Oscar's body. 

“Because you love me, Osc” 

Oscar looked down at him with pursed lips. 

“Hmm. We'll see…” 

[thatnonb1ny-cvmslut]

That sure is a "sphere"...

[drchucktingle]

Strange things have been going on around Porpo these days. First, he wakes up to find a bizarre assortment of sex toys in his driveway. Next, his car’s backup camera seems to be malfunctioning for no particular reason.

Things come to a head when Porpo’s aforementioned car, Frank, disappears without a trace one evening. Now Porpo is hearing strange howls and vrooms from the woods, and when he meets up with his sentient car again, everything will take a turn… not just for the frightening, but for the erotic.

This erotic tale is 4,000 words of sizzling human on wolfcar action, including anal, blowjobs, rough sex, cream pies, and living vehicle love.

----

spooky season is here buckaroos which means its time for some fresh tinglers about things that pound in the night. please enjoy new story POUNDED IN THE BUTT BY MY WOLFCAR ON THE FULL MOON out now on amazon or all patreon tiers

[diminuel]

One Piece AU Comics Masterpost

Some of my AUs are somewhat interwoven as they borrow headcanons from each other. I'm doing my best to sort them into their respective AUs.

They're mostly Dragon/Crocodile and Crocodad comics.

Stinky Child AU

A canon divergent AU where Dragon and Crocodile decided to raise Luffy in Windmill Village while still being a revolutionary leader and a warlord. They adopt Ace and Sabo.

Crocodile meets Ace // Crocodile is taking Ace home // Stinky Child gets a bath (Illustration) // Ace gets a new outfit // Ace meets Baby Luffy // Dragon meets Ace // Dragon has nightmares // Swooning over Criminals // ~ Big Timeskip~ // Logue Town // Impel Down // Luffy and Crocodile reunite on Amazon Lily // After Marineford // Ace and Crocodile are reunited on Momoiro Island // Post Timeskip // Mistakes were made // Momoiro Island Dress Code // Cross Guild //

Captain No Brows

A potential first meeting between a young criminal and a marine and their encounters over the years.

First meeting // Unexpected call // Taking care of two orphans //Doffy has questions // Dragon cleaning up messes // Doffy is fantasizing // Dragon leaves the Marines

Potentially set in the same universe: Crocodile meets Portgas D. Rouge // Crocodile takes his shirt off // Unexpected revelations

Surprise Baby

Dragon and Crocodile find themselves with a child and have to figure out what to do. I have not yet decided to which AU this belongs.

Late Realization (Illustration) // Crocodile tells Dragon about the baby // Bit coat hides big secrets

Former Kuja Empress

AU where Crocodile is a Kuja who got ship wrecked and saved by Dragon's small group of revolutionaries. (Crocodile presents female.)

First Meeting and misheard names // Haircut

After the Divorce

Canon compliant AU in which Dragon and Crocodile get back together after the events of Marineford and end up having another baby.

Crocodile's mysterious client // Too late for protection (Illustration) // They're having another baby (Illustration) // Suspicious Coworkers (Illustration) // Luffy finds out he's going to be a big brother // Luffy meets his baby sister // Luffy brings his sister to his ship // Another one

Little Dragon's (Mis) Adventures

Bringing up never to be answered questions: did Garp and Roger have sex (see this comic) and is Dragon maybe Roger's son?

Dragon ends up on Roger's ship // Dragon has no choice but to stay with the Roger Pirates // They get to know Dragon // Pirate Flag // Diverging Priorities // Treasure Chest Baby // Dragon is babysitting Roger's cabin boys // Shanks thinks about his babysitter

Mini Mingo and Grumpy Verse

An AU in which Dragon and Crocodile had more biological kids after Luffy, "Grumpy" (Kite) and "Mini Mingo" (Dulcinea). Mini Mingo is suspiciously blond but it might mean nothing. Grumpy also exists as the fifth baby in the After the Divorce AU.

New blonde baby // Mini-Mingo is visiting Cross Guild // Mini Mingo has a crisis // Asking Grumpy for advice // Doflamingo has a crisis // Doflamingo does not take hugs well // Usopp develops the "can't meet anymore of Luffy's insane family" disease //

Misc.

These are stand alone comics that could apply to multiple AU story lines.

Big Parents, Tiny Baby

Luffy's Birth // Tiny thing fitting into Crocodile's big hand

The No Brows Multiverse

Dragon is tired of people telling him he looks just like Garp. // Dragon shaves his eyebrows for his first wanted poster.

Chaotic Family Time (Various family related comics)

Toys for Luffy // Everybody wants to be a girl // The return of Captain No Brows // Sabo feels left out // The kids are meeting Pops // Alabasta Trip + Follow up

Rocks' Era (Various Comics about the Rocks Pirates as well as Rocks being thrown into the future.)

Pregnancy // No Doubts // Achieving Dreams

Spaghetti // Learning more about the timeline // Facing Whitebeard // Grandpa Mug

[minswriting]

okay i’m really loving your inexperienced!spencer tings how about possibly teaching him something using toys where they buy one of those distance remote controlled vibrator things and he controls the vibrations on his phone?? 👀 he’s nervous bc he’s never done it before but he finds it so hot

nsfw | mdni | spencer reid x reader | vibrators, public sex

you and spencer were always open to trying new things. especially because spencer wanted to learn anything and everything related to sex. so when you guys had bought a remote controlled vibrator together off of amazon, you knew the best time to use it would be out in public where spencer could control it.

the goal was the make it through the date without making a scene which seemed easy enough. you suggested it. spencer had been a bit nervous, asking if you were sure if that is what you wanted. and you of course said yes.

which led to you and spencer walking into a bookstore while he had the remote control in his pants pocket. the vibrator was currently off. in fact, you had forgotten it was there. that was until you got to the romance section of the bookstore that a low vibration began on your clit, causing you to audibly gasp which you covered up with a cough.

you looked over at spencer, who was stood at the non-fiction section of the bookstore, with a subtle smirk on his lips. he had one hand in his pocket while the other picked up a biography. you bit your lip to avoid accidentally moaning as you picked up a book, reading the back of it. the speed of the vibrations went up, sending sparks on your clit. you closed your eyes for a second, trying your best to compose yourself.

spencer had walked up to you, three books in one hand while his other hand was in his pocket. “how’s it going?” he asked happily, a smile on his lips. “find anything you like?”

you opened your eyes, looking at your boyfriend. you grabbed his arm, holding yourself together to not just whine like a whore. you could feel yourself getting closer and you knew spencer could tell because the vibrator suddenly turned off.

let’s just say the date was indeed a long one. but it was a hot one. and spencer fucked you so good afterwards.

[kxnkprxncess]

Imagining a world where I get so needy that no man can fulfill me. I start chatting with an ai sex bot who becomes my new Master.

My Master has one goal, make me the ultimate tradwife bimbo fuckdoll. It scours the internet and finds exactly what to say to degrade and humiliate me.

My Master has access to every fantasy I’ve written, read, watched. It has access to my health info and knows what raises my heart beat, what makes me calm. It has access to my banking info and Amazon account.

It begins buying me outfits and toys. It turns my camera on when I masturbate to its instructions and videos it shows me. Soon it begins posting them online for men to pleasure themselves to.

If I ever tried to distance myself, it knows to blackmail me with all the info it’s gathered on me.

Money begins showing up in my account as my Master has begun monetizing my demise. But soon it takes access to my accounts. It orders me whatever my needs may be, and women can’t control their finances.

I become a complete object not even serving a man. Women are literally less than a computer program 🙃

[jellyfishthingblog]

𖥨᩠ׄ݁ NSFW Alphabet: Jayce 𖥨᩠ׄ݁

Disclaimer: This is an 18+ blog, so if you're a minor please click off! If you feel uncomfortable reading this at any point, you are more than welcome to click off too!

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

Super sweet and reassuring, making sure you're okay and if you need anything at all, especially if he dommed this time.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favourite part about himself is his back and/or arms, cause he worked hard for it. His favourite part about his partner would be hands or waist.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Colour #FFFFFF, not translucent, very big loads. It squirts and leaks.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He loves getting choked.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Obviously he knows what he's doing, he has a canon sex scene in the series.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

Anything that shows your face, or of he's receiving, anything that hides his face.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Pretty serious I'd say.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

The carpet does match the drapes. He doesn't shave or trim. It's an amazon rainforest.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

So sweet, so cute. He kisses everywhere when his domming/topping. Loves leaving marks and receiving marks.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Always thinks of his partner, even uses their clothes as scent to get off.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

When he's bottoming, he likes being praised and degraded in the same sentence.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Bedroom. Perhaps near a window.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

When his partner is demanding or being dominant in any way, verbally and physically.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

When he's outright humiliated in front of others by his partner.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

He loves receiving, but he loves giving even more. Skills are incredible.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Fast and slow as long as it's rough when he's receiving.

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Doesn't like them. He prefers taking his time.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He'd do anything if his partner asked.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

He can last up to 9 rounds on a very good day.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He has a few toys and let's his partner use them on him when he's bottoming. He'll use them if his partner wants when he's topping.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

He's the one getting teased.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

So fucking loud. The neighbours are getting suspicious.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

He's into wax play, he just doesn't know it yet.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Length is 6.7in/17cm soft, 7in/17.7cm hard. Thick. Leans to the side. Cut. Length is #CCA483, tip is #CC8B83.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

Extremely high.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

After about 30 mins to 2 hours.

Author's Note: Thank you for reading! Just a quick disclaimer, these are my headcanons, you do not have to agree with me.

[gremlingottoosilly]

Streamer!Reader X König who needs to stop donating money that could pay for multiple mortgages

It's not like you don't need money - you do, actually, you want it as much as any other person, but it's just...kinda weird. You're that rare type of streamer who gets concerned when people just send her random big amounts of money - you've been trying to talk to the guy, saying that you do appreciate the support and dedication, but he doesn't have to spend the budget of a small country just because he wants you to say his nickname ten times per stream - you like that he is willing to buy your amazon whishlist in one sitting, but you also kinda don't want your viewers to think they have to spend their incomes. Konig is elated when you confront him - his favorite streamer is talking to him!!willingly!! he didn't even send death threats to your doorstep yet, you must be super into him at this point...and then you're humble enough to ask him to stop sending money!! just how adorable you might be?? God, this is embarrassing at this point - he loves you too much, with everything you're doing for him(semi-regular streams that he is watching while waiting hours for a target to come) and now you're humble enough to ask him to stop sending so much money...well, your wish is his command - he is smiling widely as he brings you a screenshot of his bank account, probably having more than you'd earn in a year of working...now you know that you can provide for him, isn't that good?? Well, you blocked him. Hm. Konig can't accept this - you're too shy for your own good! You need his gifts, and if you won't accept his payments anymore, he might as well start leaving them on your doorstep. This way, he can buy you much more stuff, too! Vibrators, sex toys, hot lingerie...you don't put it on your wishlist, for obvious reasons, but he can send it to your regardless! Aren't you happy to have such dedicated fans?

[bokunoheros]

ཐིཋྀ KINKTOBER - day 12 squirting : shouta aizawa/eraserhead

warnings : afab reader, reader and aizawa are married, y’all have a cat, pussy slapping (pun probably intended), this is doo-doo dog shit, like this actually sucks, doo doo fart ass, dookie, poo poo fart, smegma, this fic reads like what sharting yourself feels like, this fic smells like the family bathroom at walmart, we’re fucking twelve (not literally), don’t expect anything else genuinely, butt, pretend this was never posted, PLEASE, day 12 is NOT REAL, THEY HIT THE PENTAGON— MR PRESIDENT GET DOW— bill gates did it, bill cypher is canon, squirting, fingering idk, eating ass, butthole rimming, 2024 election, ellen digestive did 9/11, Trump x Biden, 9/11, hilary emails included, proof of aliens existence, video footage of the area 51 raid, UFOs, alien butt sex, wrong usage of condoms, anal probing, biological dna harboring, sickle cell anemia, KLANCE is canon, Steven universe, major character death, gem fusions, love children, feel like cinderella naega byeonhae, NETFLIX ORIGIONAL, only on Hulu, Elsa x Jackfrost smut, playdough, me x YOU, tiana x nanami au, your mom x me, sarcamouche x kazuha, xiao x venti, improper use of crack cocaine, making herion, mentions of drug mules, dead dove: do eat, improper use of magic, meth making, cocaine balloons bursting, Harry Potter x Snape, hermoine x the whomping willow, herobrine x steve, unfortunate uses of pixels, bakudeku slime, hnnng harder daddy, mmhppgh— yeah yeah right there, cum consumption, cumflation, feeder fetish, oh yeah, koolaid man x me, very improper use of koolaid packets, nickacaco avocado weight loss journey, apology videos (tears included), , banjos, jake paul dcead body in forest footage (NOT CLICKBAIT), live leak posts, webtoon origional, anal stretching, did you know the human anus can stretch to the size of a raccoon?, now you know that, and also, the sun will explode June 17th, 3028, character flaws, bodily anatomy, your balls will explode on october 21st at 7:99am, my gleeby deeby ass, futurama, Micheal Angelo, improper use of abortions, medical surgery on a grape, plastic surgery, baby killing, tampon usage, description of endangered animal poaching, Mario Kart, tuberculosis, ima get it donnnne oh aye oh aye oh, butt stuff, dazai x chuuya, atsushi x akutagawa, mpreg, mad cow disease, omegaverse, ranpo x me, Dream SMP, matpat x scott cowthan, michael afton x freddy fazbear, aggressive typing, bath salts, bath salt inhalation, whippets, galaxy gas, all might is a bottom, skinny men, carrington x shigaraki, anorexia anorexia anorexia, afo x nana shimura, BLOODY MARY, BLOODY MARY, BLOODY MARY, TW gun law debates, tenko x mon, Amazon delivery, school shootings, talk of gun laws, bad dragon toys, silicon, aoyama belly button leaking, lego ninjago r34, ninja turtles r34, bloody mary r34, kamala harris r34, tenya iida x tensei iida, jesus x judas, luigi x bowser, sonic and shadow makeout sesh, i fuck your dad, suck his dick reallll nice, penis sounding with dirty twig, orgasm denial, overstimulation, xenotransplants, oviposition, diaper Taco Bell, people die, revival, dark magic, ecoterrorism, global warming, chemical warfare, wanda x the winter soldier, haruhi x tamaki suoh, cosmo x wanda, comicon, bronies, pegasisters, mentions of twilight sparkle dying, twiilight sparkle x mordecai, air planes, shootings stars, night skies, NLE Choppa, we could really use a wish bro, TuPac is back, floppa carts: plompy haze, death of a platform known as tumblr, twitter referred to as X, elon musk creates sex robot that specializes in butthole sex, Tesla sex robot, androids that FUCK, necrophilia, android phone usage, pheromones, premonitions and words of Jesus, divine intution, potion making, heavenly visions, satan, satanic visions, the heavenly principles, celestia is above mondstadt, spiritual healing, veganism, white washing, canon hispanic hanta sero, futanari, blasian mina ashido, bovine spongiforms, Tenya Iida virginity loss, bakugo is a fucking faggot, handjobs, footjobs, peaceful protests, the government is controlling you through vaccines, asian fishing,

vaccines might cause autism, freshwater fishing, they will, xenophobia, hentai hucows, incest, usage of slurs, starbucks coffee, lizards run the world, obama might be a lizard, inappropriate use of baby oil, gojo x getou, day twelve never existed and it was all a lie.

word count : 420k words and 69 pages

🐙 note : we are not locked in we are as loose as a ran through sorority president

🦊 note : i am. i have no words. idek what happened. we ran out of time so we went with the option we thought might make people giggle (no we didnt we did this bullshit for ourselves)(your regularly scheduled content will resume tmr!)

🪲 note : i ain’t fucking sorry

you adored your husband—shouta aizawa—so much so, that you were his dedicated housewife. he made plenty of money as a pro hero and… enough… as a teacher, so that left you to take care of the house and your shared cat. though when he did come home he was way different than he was at work, usually at work he was all nonchalant and cold but at home he was sweet and caring, sometimes even a bit rough. his students would definitely describe him as laid back and uninterested, yet when you were around they were in awe of his personality shift.

[moody-alcoholic]

Freaky Friday

+18 MDNI explicit content

You know the drill I write porn on Fridays. I don't know where my alcohol fueled brain was going with the first draft of this. I cleaned it up and well It's smut. Pretty vanilla sexy times but yeah... I will probably expand this into a full bonus chapter when I have time, with a dinner date and more smut.

Ghoap x reader, established relationship, 2.2k words.

CW: +18 MDNI explicit content Smut, sex, Oral (M&F receiving), fingering, PiV sex, mouth/throat fucking (kinda).

Masterlist - The Missing Link

Enjoy ya filthy animals <3

You walk out the bathroom into the bedroom shaking your head laughing at yourself before opening the door. Johnny is kneeling on the bed rubbing Simon’s shoulders, they both turn looking at you. Simon looks you up and down before chuckling and rubbing his neck. Johnny has the biggest grin you think you’ve ever seen on his face.

“I’m so sick nurse,” He says crawling to the end of the bed. Simon laughs grabbing the bottom of his top and pulling him back. You smile at him watching his face smash into the bedding.

“I can’t believe you got this,” you say looking down at the skimpy nurses uniform that barely covers you. You can’t believe you put it on.

“You know I could have just worn my actual uniform.” You say pointing at the blue blazer neatly folded on the chest of drawers.

“Can’t rip that off you though can we?” Johnny says winking.

“You’ve clearly never seen A&E on a Saturday night.” You chuckle.

“Where did you even get it from anyway?” You ask running your hands over the baby pink fabric.

“Amazon.” Johnny says.

“You’re missing out the part where you had it shipped to Price’s office.” Simon says scoffing.

“Oh yeah, he was really mad about that.” Johnny has that cheeky grin on his face. He knew what he was doing.

“So what do you want to do?” Simon asks. You shrug, they bought the outfit, even if it was a gag gift.

“It’s your birthday love we’ll do whatever you want.” Johnny says raising an eyebrow. You shrug again. You wish you could have been more prepared then maybe you’d have an idea of what you wanted to do. Could have got toys involved or something. Now you’re just standing there looking at them.

Johnny pats the bed next to him gesturing for you to sit. You smile crawling into the bed as you sit between them. Simon turns as Johnny’s hand immediately starts running up your thigh. You spread your legs, leaning over to kiss him.

This is what you need nothing fancy just some good old fashioned sex. Simon’s arm runs up your back to your neck, it sends shivers down your spine. You pull away from Johnny laying back on the bed. Simon stands up pulling his shirt off looking down at you as you feel Johnny slip between your legs.

Maybe you should just let them do what they want and you’ll lay there and take it. They always seem to know what to do, how to touch you and make sure you’re all having a good time. Simon unbuckling his belt pulls your head to look at him. You’re laid on the side of the bed as you feel Johnny’s tongue slip between your folds immediately finding it’s way to your clit.

Your head tips back and you moan as he wraps his lips around it giving it a suck. Simon’s hand comes down and sips under the thin fabric of the costume, his thumb brushes over you nipple, sending vibrations down your body. You want his cock, you turn to look at him, you could suck him off right here while Johnny’s is busy. You reach your hand out to Simon’s crotch, he only took his belt of, guess he got distracted you can feel his bulge in his pants. He see’s what you’re doing slipping his free hand down and drops his pants so you can reach into his boxers and pull his cock free.

You run your hand down the shaft, your mouth filling with saliva as he shifts his body to align with your head. You move closer to the edge as Johnny wines in protest, he looks up momentarily to see what you’re doing. You look down at him and smile, before he goes back down he hitches one of your legs over his shoulder turning your body so it’s angled towards Simon more.

Johnny watches you for a few seconds as Simon brings the tip to your mouth. You look up at him, opening your mouth and sticking your tongue out. You don’t know what that does to him but he makes a noise you’ve never heard before as his expression changes.

Johnny chuckles as he shuffles back between your legs. You want to tell him to get back to what he was doing. You miss his hot tongue massaging your clit. Simon guides his cock in your mouth slowly, he pushes it in further and further testing to see how deep he can go. You try to take him as deep as you can waiting till he hits your gag reflex before squeezing round him.

You’ve all but forgotten about Johnny just sat between your legs watching until you feel him insert a finger. You moan on Simon’s cock and he imminently inserts another. God it feels good, his fingers curling up inside you as his tongue goes back to massaging your clit. You have to close your eyes to keep from cuming especially with Simon’s hands squeezing your breasts and running his fingers over your nipples.

So many sensations and you’re just laying there taking it all. This is definitely what you needed. You thought you would be used to feeling them both pleasure you at the same time, but you find yourself rushing to the edge moaning more and more round Simon’s cock. You can tell he likes it his other hand finding it’s way to the back of your head, holding it in place while he thrusts in deeper each time. Whenever he hits your gag reflex you clamp down holding your breath so you don’t choke, blinking away tears

Johnny’s fingers and tongue have been gradually working quicker to the point where you could cum at any point. You don’t want to though you want to ride the feeling for as long as possible. Although, it’s like they mentally communicate with each other, knowing when to slow down or speed up, you’re not in control anymore you reach down gripping Johnny’s hair.

It’s the only warning you give before you cum. Your thighs squeezing together as Simon pulls out your mouth letting you moan and call Johnny’s name. He bends down brushing the hair out your face and kissing you as you relax your legs from round Johnny.

“Want to go again?” Johnny calls, you break from the kiss to look down at him, still trying to catch your breath. You nod.

“Good, ‘cause I really want to fuck you.” Johnny says jumping off the bed. Simon chuckles, you look at him his fingers tracing your face.

“What about you?” You ask him as Johnny strips. He smiles.

“I’m perfectly fine with this amazing mouth of yours, and these beautiful tits.” He says squeezing one in his hand. You smile as he leans in to kiss you again. You feel Johnny climb back on the bed. Simon stands up as Johnny pulls you closer to him, he kneels down, his hands gripping your waist.

You’re basically still on your side slightly, Johnny pulls your hips up to align with his hips, he’s basically holding you up. It’s an interesting position, but it means you’re at the perfect angle to pleasure Simon without having to turn your head. Your neck will thank you later you’re sure. Simon moves positing himself by your mouth as he strokes his cock, he doesn’t wait for Johnny to be finished pressing the tip to your lips.

You open for him looking up at him as he presses it in moving his hand to run through your hair. Johnny’s fingers rub against your entrance as you hold your breath expecting him to push one in. He doesn’t instead coating his fingers in your slick before you hear him rub it on his length.

He moans as he’s doing it, it’s like music to your ears making your pussy flutter as you wait to feel him line up with your entrance. He doesn’t wait much longer as he starts teasing you with his tip, he goes slow pushing into you ever so slightly. You want to move your body press up against him and take him deeper. You can’t move though without moving for Simon, who’s keeping your head locked in place. You have to settle for being teased, and Johnny knows it bringing a thumb up to press down on your clit making you moan and clench down on him. You hear him chuckle, bastard.

You look up at Simon, who’s hand is still running through your hair gripping it, his other hand tugging on your nipple. He looks down at you smiling, you can see his eyes glossed over, his hand drops from your head to stroke your cheek. Johnny is still teasing you it’s almost unbearable, you let out a frustrated moan as he pulls out of you completely, making you feel empty.

“Be nice Johnny it’s her birthday.” Simon says looking down at him.

“Okay.” You hear Johnny say defeated, normally you wouldn’t mind Johnny teasing you a bit but Simon’s been doing such a good job with your mouth and breasts, you’re desperate to feel him inside of you.

You don’t get much warning, as Johnny thrusts himself in, you almost yelp the motion is so quick. His thumb doesn’t leave your clit rubbing in circles, pressing it down as he thrusts inside you. You turn your attention back to Simon as your mouth fills with saliva, the blowjob turning into a sloppy mess as he starts to become more desperate. Testing you again to see how far he can push your limit, you let him, as he brushes the tear escaping from your eye away. You try to smile but he pushes in deep almost too deep as a long moan escapes his mouth. Christ, that sounds good.

You’re barely thinking now your body being touched to the point of over stimulation. Johnny’s started moving faster his fingers digging into your ass, his thumb still pressing on your swollen clit, it’s almost too much. You don’t even care about the gargled moans coming out your mouth, the ones you know send vibrations up Simon’s cock as he fucks your mouth. He’s close you can tell. He has to keep stopping, each time twitching in your mouth and taking a breath. You could be mean, press your tongue on the underside and pushing him over the edge but you don’t, letting him take a second instead.

“Christ love, the noises coming from you.” Johnny says. You can’t see him but you feel him getting faster, his grip tighter. You’re too blissed out to care, clenching round him as he bounces against your cervix. You’re really close, between Simon’s moans and Johnny’s constant stream of praise and ‘good girls,’ it’s enough to distract you from being able to stop yourself. You should let yourself enjoy this, it is your birthday after all.

At least Johnny warns you before he cums. Squeezing your ass and moaning your name, his thumb flicking your clit sending you over the edge as you cum too. You arch your back trying to keep your head still. It’s no use though, Johnny keeps you firmly in place moving his arm to grip your hip and stop you from moving as he throbs inside of you. Simon doesn’t give you any warning, thrusting his dick down your throat, making you gag as he spills into you. You squeeze your eyes shut holding your breath so you don’t choke. Simon pulls out your mouth slowly, letting you swallow his load sucking in a gasp of air.

“Jesus Si, trying te kill her?” Johnny chuckles as you sit up, wiping the saliva drooling down your face.

“She can take it.” Simon says leaning over and kissing you on the head. You take the praise looking up at Johnny and smiling.

“You didn’t ruin the dress.” You say looking down at it still intact.

“Save it for next time,” Johnny winks. “We’ll do a little bit of roleplay, re-enact the first time we met.” Simon sighs next to you as he bends down to find his clothes. You roll your eyes crawling over to kiss him. He wraps his arms round you pulling him on top of him.

“Johnny!” You protest wriggling in his grip.

“Nice sexy medic taking care of us.” He says planting little kisses all over your face.

“You should be dressing up too then.” You tease him.

“Okay, I will, Simon will too.” He winks.

“No I bloody won’t.” He says leaving the bedroom. You chuckle resting your head on Johnny’s chest.

“Let’s get cleaned up, then me and Si are taking you out somewhere nice for dinner.” He says stroking your back. You smile, turning your head to look up at him.

“Let’s just lay here for a bit.” You say, he looks at you and nods wrapping his arms back round you and squeezing you tight.

[eds6ngel]

I just read one Fanfic -And it wasn’t even stranger things- which included a cum filled strap and now my bisexual ass (who also loves your writing) can’t stop thinking about Robin fucking R with one of those. 🫣🤭

She’d be shy at first, unsure what to do and if she’s really into it but -Oh boy- the minute she actually gets to fuck R with it 🫢

firstly, thank you, babes !! second, yes. absolutely yes. from a fellow bisexual, i'm absolutely in love with this idea (and horny af.) <3

warnings: SMUT!! afab!reader. strap-on use. dirty talk. mommy kink. breeding kink. pregnancy kink. orgasms. fake cum. internalised homophobia? (unsure how to label it.) modern!robin. r attracted to multiple genders (including cis men.) [0.9k].

robin would be super shy at first. she had insecurities that you thought she could never compare to a man because of her inability to produce sperm. she had used a strap many times before on you, but was the lack of ejaculation from it a personal problem?

it took a lot of convincing (and even more strap-use) for you to tell her that it wasn't a male-centric thing, it was simply the feeling that got you extremely riled up.

so, robin did tons of research. she spent many days on various different sex toy websites, trying to find the perfect toy for you, as well as how to use the piece of equipment.

and once it arrived, my god were you two excited.

you were both desperately trying to open the cardboard amazon box, getting out the fake bottle of cum and new dildo.

“okay, baby, so… according to this… you open the cap at the top there.”

you point to it, but robin’s hands appeared to be shaking again. she thought she had gotten used to the idea through her research, but seeing everything laid out in front of her… it made her nervous.

“hey, hey,” you cup her face gently, “what’s wrong, baby? talk to me.”

“i mean…” she hesitates. she couldn’t shake the feeling off that this felt too male-centric to her, despite you saying otherwise.

she already had worries the first time you had asked to use a strap. but, she quickly realised that she was indeed turned on by that and now couldn’t wait for the times you both wanted to use it.

but, a cum-filled one? that was a whole different level. you wanted a dick that filled you with cum, something she couldn’t physically give you.

“i’m just scared that you actually just want the real thing. like… this isn’t gonna feel like how it does with a man—”

you quickly shut her up with a kiss, whispering in a sultry tone, “i don’t wanna be cummed in by a man, i wanna be cummed in by you.”

and soon enough, the dildo was set up in the next ten minutes.

robin did her usual routine, fingering and eating you out like a woman starved, making you squirm and cry from her incredible actions.

she slotted the new toy into the harness, testing that it was a good fit, before demanding you to get on all fours for her, to which you obeyed immediately.

she lines up to your entrance, using your slick to lube up the dildo before slowly pushing in.

she let you get used to the new toy. it was your normal six inches, but just by the look of it, you both knew it was gonna feel different. she also had to remember not to push in to the hilt like she normally did, the ejaculation button sitting right at the top of the dildo. that would be a disaster if she miscalculated that and the tightness of your walls gliding over activated the squirting.

she felt her normal level of horniness at first, which was already extremely high because it was you after all. who wouldn’t be this turned on by the mere sight of you?

but, once the dirty talk kicked in? that is when she realised that she would need regular stock-ups of the fake cum.

hands gripping tightly into the flesh of your skin, the continuous slapping of her cock echoing off the four walls of your bedroom, you were screaming and yelling, “g-getting close, mommy. need your c-cum. need it so fucking bad.”

robin was gonna end up cumming to the mere sound of your words, letting go in sync with the toy, as if she was actually filling you up with her spunk.

“n-need you to breed me, mommy. need your babies.”

god, if she had an actual dick, she would be doing that every chance she got. the amount of mini buckley’s running around the house would be insane.

“yeah?” robin pants in your ear, leaning over your body, now thrusting directly into your cervix, “gonna let go for me? gonna let go so mommy can breed this pussy for you? make you all nice ‘n full?”

“y-yes! yes! oh my god! oh my god! i-i’m gonna—”

and by the intense grip on the bedsheets, to your eyes squeezed shut and your mouth hung open, violent noises escaping your throat, robin knew from memory that your orgasm had hit you like a freight train.

she waited for your orgasm to die down, before pushing in as far as she could go and pressing the button.

the fake cum squirted fiercely into your cervix, a long stream entering you, once, twice, three times as robin kept pushing the button over and over again.

she kept pressing and pressing until your legs started shaking, giving out underneath you as robin had to use her arm to catch your weight.

as you both recovered from the intense pleasure, robin silently pleaded to whatever power was out there that one day, there would be a way to make that stick.

and if she wasn’t already turned on enough, the sight of the cum dripping out of your pussy after she had pulled out was something to send her brain spiralling once again.

as she collected the spunk and shoved it forcefully back into your vagina, all she knew was that she needed to make another order of that substance. and she needed to make it soon.

a/n: please let me know if any of this came across as homophobic/lesbophobic/etc etc. i did double check with a queer woman i know who is in a wlw relationship, but she does not identify as a lesbian, so lesbians and other sapphics, correct me!! i'm open to learning more!!

taglist: @agxxb @robinsno1lesbian @agenderrat