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escapedtheconvent · 7 months ago

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The town that I live in is a building.

We are beyond isolated and we spend most of the year in the dark, but at least we still get the internet.

I was shocked after Easter weekend when the most gorgeous girl that I have ever seen in my life, kind of did a broody shuffle into our school room. She didn't look happy to be here, which I guess if you were from anywhere else, here would be the worst.

She sat next to me and rudely told me that I looked like the local cryptid. All I could think about was how much she smelled like strawberries. I just said 'thank you'. Eventually she drifts over to a different group while I just sat having gay thoughts about holding her hand.

Two months and she starts dating Samuel. It's fine. He's nice. Just your average boy. It's not hard to stumble upon them kissing somewhere.

They break up after five months. My best friend says she's going to run out of boys right quick, even though she only dated the one.

Three weeks later, she's dating Daniel. He's also just your average boy. He does sport and fake flowers drenched in his cologne. He makes jokes that aren't funny, but she laughs anyway.

She's gorgeous. She ignores me. I go about my days feeling like a ghost ever since she showed up, even though absolutely nothing has changed.

They break up during spring break. It was loud. It was messy. It spilled out into the hallway. Sophie and I couldn't be bothered to gape at the display of heterosexual spectacle, so family and friends were more than happy to recount the events to us later over the next few days.

Within a week, she starts dating Mohammed. The relationship only lasts until the summer. They had to sneak around since he is destined to be married to someone his parents approve of.

Sophie and I give each other stick n poke tattoos with a kit she ordered from Amazon at the start of summer. Our families tell us to get a better hobby, but otherwise there is no fuss.

There are a few eateries that we like haunt, but none more frequent than the pastry shop. It is there we discover her on a date with none other than Sophie's aloof older, Julian, back from college.

He plays violin in his schools orchestra and has an intense dislike for the girl in first chair. He tells us that she is rich and snotty. She had some not so nice things to say about his violin. It's second hand and some marks from years of use. It has our initials on it for good luck. A scratch from when he was playing on the hayride.

The run-in is unnecessarily awkward. We make plans to forage for mushrooms together, purchase our treats and then scurry away. Leaving them to their time together.

Days later find the four of us find ourselves carefully searching for mushrooms in the woods behind our town. She spends the entirety of the outing acting like she was so mature, as a means to impress Julian, but it just ends with her doing a belly flop into a particularly squishy patch of mud. She lashes out in embarrassment. The relationship ends then and there. On a warm sunny afternoon.

When I was fourteen, I asked for a projector for my birthday. Sophie inherited Julian's old dvd player. We took to Reddit to buy bootlegs with our pocket money. It is a lot more enjoyable than adherence to the cinema and our peers.

I was hurtling down the stairwell to pick up our latest haul while Sophie went about replenishing the food stores. I am stopped by the echoey sounds of crying by the time I reach the third floor. I slow to a creep, easing towards the door on the second floor landing when I am stopped by a voice.

A quivering....'hello'.

In a voice I remember.

It's her. Alone. Crying in the stairwell.

Now it's my turn to be needlessly rude, and I ask her what she is doing here without her friends or not on a date.

She tells me to 'fuck right off', but then stops me when I move to leave. She says she needed time alone. That her friends didn't care that she actually really liked Julian and their advice led to him dumping her.

Oh.

I don't know what to do here. I know running into her like this doesn't mean we are going to be friends, so I am not sure how much in her business I should get.

I shrug, awkward and just tell her that he would probably take her back if she explained things to him. Julian isn't a dick.

She did. She tried. He said it just proved his point. He was gentle about it. He was kind about it. It just made her feel worse. Hence the hiding in tears.

Ah.

Well...

Time to just suck it up.

Why Julian?

She launches into a tale that must seem wonderful to her, by how she lights up as she explains it. But to me.... it's just.... that's it?

So, then what about the other guys that she didn't seem broken up about? She dated them just because they asked. That's it.

It can't be that easy, but she says again that it is.

With that kind of logic, I asked her on a date.

'Okay.'

....okay?

Yes. Just no one can know, because I'm a girl and a freak.

Then she just disappears through the door with a two.

I sleep in her bed. Nothing happens. It is just a by product of our dates.

She has a small television with an antenna and her mattress is XL Twin.

We talk. We enjoy each others company. Sometimes she does my nails.

She calls me her girlfriend.

She means it romantically, not platonically.

She still goes out with boys.

I hate lying to Sophie, but it feels worth it. I never even considered this was an option when I was daydreaming about braiding her hair.

We have a weird run in at the roller rink. I didn't know she would be there, we don't really talk about her boyfriends.

It's Sophie's birthday and this is what we have done every year since her fifth birthday. I help make and pass out invites, which the both of them got and said they had other plans.

Travis. He's kind of a bully's bully. My dad said he's built like a line backer, which makes the fact that he dislikes sports all the more ironic.

He holds her around the waist like it's the most natural thing in the world. I guess for him it is. He gets to be affectionate out in the open. I still haven't held her hand. She is looking at me like it is the worst possible thing that I am here.

Travis doesn't notice.

Sophie notices. Doesn't think it is unusual. She generally looks at us like an inconvenience.

We part to put on our skates and have our pictures taken by Sophie's parents. Who will stay with the table until cake time, then they will take everything back home and come back for 'adult skate time'. Nothing special. They just turn on the black light and serve wine.

Sophie and I do our traditional birthday skate routines in the rink. We are a lot better at it than when we were five.

Every so often, we lap her and Travis in the rink. She doesn't seem know how to skate, so Travis is doing his best just tug her along.

Her face is red with embarrassment. People are whispering, giggling and whipping past them. Showing off.

Why is she here? Why is she putting herself through this?

They don't stay long. She struggles for about an hour, then they leave.

After that, we don't meet up for awhile. I still check my cubby area for a note, but it remains empty.

Sophie got a computer for her birthday. It lives in my room, hooked to the projector. We get bored of Netflix after a week, then spend two days watching videos of people making cheese.

She ignores me again.

Sometimes Sophie wonders what it would like to be like the girls who aren't like us. Who get told they were pretty and could hold a boys attention.

Like her.

Those could be dangerous thoughts. Maybe they are for Sophie. Maybe she changes, start dressing like them. Maybe she'll get invited to their parties and that will be that.

Sophie has always been outgoing. She is in clubs, does extracurriculars. Has other friends.

I tried. I started a media club to share in the bounty of my collection, but outside of watching Naruto: The Last movie, no one was really interested in what I had to offer.

That's how I feel about myself. No one is interested in what I have to offer.

I know I am loved, so that thought never really troubles me.

I hate PE.

I have been doing this regularly since I was six, yet I am still out of shape. All it is good for is having me change into something that makes it easier to be sexually harassed.

I have worn leggings under my shorts ever since Grant said he saw my penis flop out of my shorts during volleyball. I was already being made fun of for seem to have Adam's apple and short hair.

I am trying to run my laps and organize my thoughts about what we will watch over the weekend.

Sophie does sport, so she gets a pass from this for her own training.

I'm taken completely by surprise when someone bumps into me, very hard and very rude. As I straightened up, I take sight of a crumbled up paper at my feet.

It's a note. It's from her. She's out today with the flu. I am shocked that she would have someone make a delivery to me on her behalf.

She wants to meet up. In public. Tonight.

It's a lot to contemplate when you are gross and sweaty and wheezing like someone stole the surrounding oxygen.

The pier. That's where all the more outgoing kids hang out. There's a weird concrete set of stairs going up a hill, that's where Sophie and I hung out listening to all the more outgoing kids get up to whatever it is they do.

Probably drink stolen beer and smoke cigarettes and make out. All the popular spit swapping activities that is all the rage with the teenagers of any era.

Sophie and I smoke cloves, drink wine coolers provided by my parents and keep our spit mostly to ourselves.

My parents are big on the vibe of not having any of their children getting alcohol poisoning by drinking in secret. Sophie's parents just pretend like they don't know, as if they don't remember being out age and getting up to shit.

Sophie's parents do not vibe with my parents.

The pier at midnight.

It's just as uneventful as I built it up to be in my head.

I am greeted with the smarmy charm of Smega John. Real name Sean Hernandez. We call him Smega John because he likes to talk about his dick make dick jokes. A LOT.

LIKE A LOT A LOT.

There must be something about him that is redeemable about him, since he's Sophie's boyfriend.

They hang out without me.

We hang out together, he claims to be the third wheel and invites himself to be the middle of our 'sexual innuendo'.

I don't hold it against her that her childhood boyfriend is gross, otherwise she would have to hold it against me for being the weird one nobody likes.

He doesn't invite Sophie to the pier. He's not here because he is well liked and respected amongst our peers.

He's here because he's a local drug dealer.

He's as surprised to see me as I am to be here. Mouthing what seems to be an 'are you alright' that feels both deserved and unwarranted.

I just nod dumbly, because I know I shouldn't be here, but I don't want him to know it either.

I spot her over by the end of the pier 3 with a few other kids from class and scuttle over there like a crab at low tide.

Everyone is drinking the moonshine that Kelvin's dad makes and says he doesn't. I accept a cup just so I look like I am fitting in.

She won't even look at me, but I know she knows that I am here. Her body language isn't as relaxed as it once was. She looks like she is getting ready to speak up, if only the teacher would call on her so she could lower her hand.

Am I the teacher? Should I go and talk to her?

I don't.

I admit defeat.

I let Smega John walk me back home.

He must feel sorry for me, because he gives me a joint with a pack of matches 'on the house', as if I have ever paid him a dime.

He only made two dick jokes.

I slip into bed with Sophie that night. Just as I have done many other nights. It feels different. I am dying to say something, to reveal all that has been going on. Before I can utter a word, Sophie snores, back to sleep even before I crawled under the covers.

Another time then.

She continues ignoring me.

Life returns to normal.

Before looping back around into the surreal when I am volunteered to teach her sailing.

I'm not the only kid with a boat. I am the only one who can take someone out on their boat without supervision because I have my license.

I teach and run tours in the summer.

Fucking Capitalism.

When I meet her down at the pier the next weekend, I am surprised to find that she knew I was coming.

She asked for me. Specifically.

I help her with her life jacket, she slips a plastic flower into my hair.

We sit through ten minutes of my instructions before she lets me know that she doesn't care about learning how to sail.

"Home is too far away. No one is going to see us out here."

We never even kissed, now I am alone in a boat with her, wearing a life vest during my first sexual encounter.

I cry afterwards when I get home.

I don't know what any of this means. She kisses me goodbye before slipping away into darkness.

I forgot to fix the part I fucked up, but it's okay, just eat around it. If anyone sees, you can tell me it's trash, you won't hurt my feelings. I started writing this after my group therapy sessions.

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usmoonchild · 5 years ago

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How to Cook Quinoa Within 10 Minutes

I like to see myself as a quinoa master. I have cooked a ton of it for my cookbook. Limited quantities, or parcels on the double, with flavors and greens, or without—I've done everything. The standard quinoa cooking technique began bombing me from the get-go. My quinoa was soft and exaggerated, without fail, and it was driving me crazy.

I took a stab at utilizing marginally less water than expected, which has been suggested somewhere else. It helped a little now and again, however different occasions, I needed to include increasingly more water while the quinoa was cooking. At that point, the evaporate quinoa splashed an excessive amount of the dressing I included later.

Sooner or later, I pondered, for what reason do all the quinoa plans propose covering the quinoa while cooking? My quinoa was totally overcooked and soft, so covering it appeared as though the exact opposite thing I ought to do.

quinoa formula

Bingo! Here's the stunt for consummately fleecy quinoa: Use twice as much water as quinoa, obviously, at that point cook revealed until the quinoa has ingested all the water. The cooking time will differ dependent on amount.

When the water is totally assimilated, expel the pot from heat, spread it and let the quinoa steam for 5 minutes. That is the point at which the quinoa busts open into fleecy quinoa flawlessness, and that is the way to cook quinoa appropriately.

I've gotten many inquiries from you all about how to maintain a strategic distance from soft quinoa, so I simply needed to share. I composed up the full formula and directions for you beneath.

Look down for the full formula, in addition to a short video demonstrating my procedure and 10 of my most loved quinoa plans. For significantly more quinoa motivation, you can see the entirety of my quinoa plans here.

Flawless Quinoa

Creator: Cookie and KatePrep Time: 2 minsCook Time: 20 minsTotal Time: 22 minutesYield: 3 cups 1xCategory: StapleMethod: StovetopCuisine: Peruvian

Figure out how to cook flawless quinoa, inevitably. I've attempted the various quinoa cooking techniques and this one works best. It's anything but difficult to cook fleecy quinoa when you realize the correct method to do it!

Fixings

1 section uncooked quinoa (for example 1 cup quinoa—any shading will do—you will wind up with three fold the amount of cooked quinoa)

2 sections water (for example 2 cups water)

Salt, to taste (around ¼ teaspoon salt per cup of dry quinoa)

Guidelines

Flush the quinoa: Pour the quinoa into a fine work colander and wash under running water for in any event 30 seconds. Channel well. This progression expels any sharpness outwardly of the quinoa (brought about by normally happening saponins).

Join the flushed quinoa and water in a pan. Heat the blend to the point of boiling over medium-high warmth, at that point decline the warmth a piece to keep up a delicate stew. Cook until the quinoa has consumed the entirety of the water, around 10 to 20 minutes (limited quantities of quinoa will be prepared more like 10 minutes; bigger sums between 15 to 20). Diminish heat over the long haul to keep up a delicate stew.

Expel the pot from warmth, spread, and let the quinoa steam for 5 minutes. This progression gives the quinoa time to bust open into little curlicues, so it's overall quite feathery. Expel the top and lighten the quinoa with a fork. Season with salt, to taste, except if you're continuing with another formula as composed.

NOTES

SERVING SUGGESTIONS: I love to mix a sprinkle of olive oil and clove of garlic into warm quinoa for additional flavor. Different choices incorporate cleaved new spinach or arugula, or rubbed kale. New herbs or potentially dried flavors are decent, just as ground or disintegrated cheddar, sun-dried tomatoes, hollowed and cut olives, and so on.

Capacity SUGGESTIONS: Leftover quinoa keeps well, refrigerated, for 4 to 5 days. Ensure it has cooled to room temperature before covering and chilling.

▸ NUTRITION INFORMATION

The data demonstrated is a gauge given by an online sustenance number cruncher. It ought not be viewed as a substitute for an expert nutritionist's recommendation.

Did you make this formula?

If it's not too much trouble let me know how it showed up for you! Leave a remark underneath and share an image on Instagram with the hashtag #cookieandkate.

Instructions to cook flawless cushy quinoa! cookieandkate.com

Pause, what is quinoa?

On the off chance that you haven't experienced quinoa yet, it is a pseudocereal that becomes close to the Andes in South America. By pseudocereal, I imply that it is grain-like, yet it's in fact not a grass like wheat. Quinoa is articulated KEEN-wah, in spite of the fact that my father likes to prod me by calling it queh-NO-ah.

Quinoa is nutritious—it's loaded with fiber, protein, nutrients and minerals, including manganese, magnesium and folate. Quinoa's medical advantages are actually too long to even think about listing here, yet the key point is that quinoa is strikingly thick in supplements, and worth remembering for your eating regimen.

You can purchase quinoa in most markets nowadays, for the most part in the wellbeing segment or close to the rice. You can likewise purchase quinoa online at Amazon (member connect).

Instructions to cook impeccable quinoa (one basic stunt has a significant effect!)

10 Favorite Quinoa Recipes

This basic quinoa plate of mixed greens is ideal for stuffed snacks!

1) Sun-Dried Tomato, Spinach and Quinoa Salad

"I have made this plate of mixed greens twice in seven days it is that acceptable – simple and heavenly!" – Terri

Broccoli dish, improved with broiled broccoli, cheddar, quinoa and entire grain breadcrumbs

2) Broccoli, Cheddar and Quinoa Gratin

"This was so acceptable! I've been attempting to discover one dish plans that can likewise take care of child and this was great! I was too apathetic to even consider making the breadcrumbs yet I'm so happy I did in light of the fact that it was basic and thus justified, despite all the trouble! I likewise utilized a touch of cauliflower since I had it and it was acceptable in there as well. I believe I'm going to cause this to again and carry it to Easter! It's an ideal more beneficial rendition of a work of art!" – Stephanie

Quinoa dark bean tacos with avocado crema

3) Quinoa Black Bean Tacos with Creamy Avocado Sauce

"This is one of my preferred dishes ever! Adhered to the directions (first time at any point was not roused to transform anything) and appreciated a yummy supper with my accomplice, twice now. He cherished it also! A debt of gratitude is in order for sharing and good karma! :)" – Dessi

Crude Beet Salad with Carrot, Quinoa and Spinach in bowls

4) Colorful Beet Salad with Carrot, Quinoa and Spinach

"THE best plate of mixed greens ever! My better half and I completely love it! I'm offering to my loved ones!" – Jacqueline

vegetable soup with quinoa formula 1

5) Quinoa Vegetable Soup with Kale

"I simply discovered this formula by means of pinterest! I made the soup yesterday and I completely love it!! Never thought of quinoa in soup however this bodes well! I am continually searching for approaches to include protein without including meat so this is extraordinary and my entire family adores it! (I'm an undergrad incidentally, not a mother, on the off chance that you were unable to tell. lol) This soup is incredible for all ages!!" – Maya

Solid and generous Southwestern kale power serving of mixed greens formula - cookieandkate.com

6) Southwestern Kale Power Salad with Sweet Potato, Quinoa and Avocado Sauce

"We made this for supper 2 hours prior and can't quit discussing it! OMG! It was so tasty and brimming with flavor and it was anything but difficult to make. My children cherished it, as well. We as of now can hardly wait to make it again :) thank you so much!" – Tiffany

The best quinoa plate of mixed greens formula, made with chickpeas, red chime pepper, cucumber, red onion, parsley and lemon! This sound quinoa serving of mixed greens makes certain to be a hit. (gluten free, veggie lover, vegetarian)

7) Favorite Quinoa Salad

"Scrumptious formula, Kate. I've been crazing something light and reviving and this quinoa serving of mixed greens hit the spot. This is certainly outstanding amongst other quinoa plates of mixed greens I've made. Your plans never disillusion. Much obliged to you!" – Allison

You're going to adore this brilliant, crunchy Thai nut quinoa serving of mixed greens! It's made with carrots, cabbage, snow peas, and quinoa, hurled in a delectable nut sauce. It packs incredible for lunch. Vegetarian and gluten free.

8) Crunchy Thai Peanut and Quinoa Salad

"Made this for supper today when a companion came over. Indeed, even my four-year-old adored it! He isn't generally into crude veggies, however upon the principal chomp, shouted, "I like this! Definitely, I love it!" and had a subsequent making a difference. We left the cilantro as an afterthought for him. Will make this again very soon." – Lea

This sans mayo quinoa broccoli slaw formula is a pleasant bend on an old exemplary! It's veggie lover and gluten free, as well.

9) Quinoa Broccoli Slaw with Honey-Mustard Dressing

"Three of us finished this formula at a time. It was great! Tart, sweet and crunchy, because of the almonds. It was additionally so natural to make. Much obliged to you!" – Leah

Epic breakfast quinoa including toasted walnuts, coconut oil, cinnamon and dried fruits or cranberries -

10) Cinnamon Toast Breakfast Quinoa

"Made this for breakfast toward the beginning of today, and it's astounding! It's certainly going to be in my ordinary pivot." – Carly

More assets you may acknowledge: 23 make-ahead breakfast plans, 16 plans that pack well for lunch and 20 basic weeknight suppers. You can shop my basic kitchen gear here. Remember to tail us on Pinterest for a constant flow of formula motivation!

#food

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edorazzi · 7 years ago

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After the saga of the month-long Miraculous Christmas calendar review, it feels right to come back for round two with an Easter-themed treat!

(The alternative title is I Really Wanted The ML Easter Egg And Figured I Could Justify Buying It For Review Purposes, but thats a bit of a mouthful.)

I bought this from Amazon UK for £14.90 - you can find the listing for yourself here, but it’s currently out of stock! I guess I picked it up at the right time.

On opening the box, I’m already seeing shards of chocolate. I suppose that means the egg is a goner. I think I’m gonna have to complain about that - trying to ship a fragile chocolate egg is tricky enough (I was prepared for some damage, what can ya do), but it was crammed into a very small box with no extra padding to at least attempt preserving it.

I don’t mind too much, but for almost £15 I think I deserve something that actually looks like an egg, and I’m already suspecting this one won’t. Call me picky.

Here it is! Looking pretty battered and worse for wear after unpadded shipping, but still alarmingly cute. I’m excited to get into this.

Ladybug and Chat Noir share the spotlight (pun fully intended)! Ladybug’s still front and centre, but this is a much better balance than the Christmas calendar. Interestingly she boasts her CGI model while Chat Noir retains his 2D promotional art - the different images look a bit disjointed up close (not least because Chat Noir’s art is much higher quality), but at a passing glance it’s not too weird. I definitely get the impression of them being a close duo, at any rate, which is my favourite marketing angle.

Here’s the full display card, if that’s something anyone was interested in (naught to three sad onions). It’s clear this is European packaging, selling the egg in French, Spanish, English and... Portuguese? Huh. The ingredients/warnings are only in French and Spanish - good thing I took both languages at school or I’d have no clue what I was getting into here, this egg could be anything.

One thing it certainly is is gluten-free, and that’s really cool! I’m sensitive to wheat, which tends to get into all kinds of unexpected foods, so at least I can trust this egg to treat me gently. Thanks, Ladybug (and Chat Noir)! I’ll live another day!

Without the display card, our Easter goodie bag starts looking like more of an ominous sack. It looked a lot better on the website, but if you’re getting something shipped from Spain in an UNPADDED BOX I guess this is about what you should expect.

It’s taped up at the neck, and from trying to pry off the Amazon product label I noticed the foil print is liable to come off with the stickiness, so I spent an inordinate amount of time snipping the tape away to avoid more damage. I can already tell it’s cute paper, but let’s wait till we can spread it out.

And oh boy, does it spread out! Time to zoom the camera away. There’s a huge swathe of decorative foil included in this egg and I love it.

It’s really difficult to get a good picture with the lighting, but there are at least ten different pictures in use here - seven that I can count for Ladybug and three for Chat Noir - and all flipped around to make a total of 20 “unique” images. There’s so much to look at, and while Ladybug may have more variation the clear prominence of Chat Noir is really satisfying! This packaging is definitely selling them as a duo and I love it.

This is my favourite image. I’m not actually sure where this Chat Noir is from; it’s not one of the standard marketing images the designers recycle over and over - I’m actually not totally convinced I’ve even seen it before. New or old, that’s a really cute little smirk. I want to pinch his cheeks.

I’m definitely keeping this foil. I don’t know what I’ll do with it, but I’m keeping it. It’s lovely.

Now it’s time for what we came here for - chocolate! And... uh, well, that sure looks like it could have been an egg once. Hoo boy, someone at Amazon is getting a stiffly worded email.

Fortunately it looks like the egg wasn’t anything special, just the standard crazy-pavement design. I wasn’t expecting (eggspecting?) it to have a Miraculous design, and considering it got absolutely slaughtered on the way over that’s probably a good thing.

Unless it’s supposed to be a Carapace design. Oh my god, they finally bring out some Nino merch and it just gets destroyed. That’s cruel.

The chocolate itself actually tastes better than I was expecting! It’s got that standard “generic inexpensive cocoa” flavour, but instead of that slightly bitter/plastic taste I feared it’s a lot gentler and milkier. I could eat this and enjoy it. Nicely done, lads.

Something else lurks in the cup. This must be the “Surprise/Sorpresa/Surpresa” the front of the packaging warned us about.

What a haul! Don’t eat these, kids.

I’ll admit from the product listing I assumed this set came with a Ladybug and Chat Noir bracelet, but the rubber ball is different to the advertised design too, so I suppose what it means is you get a random selection. Either that or the reason my egg is shattered is because Astruc broke into the packaging and stole the Chat Noir bracelet to knock my level of satisfaction down a peg.

I wonder if these were inside the egg or just in the bottom of the cup? I guess we’ll never know. We don’t have the “no inedibles packaged with edible foods” law here (which prevents Kinder Eggs and similar gimmicks in the US) so it could have been either. Breaking open the egg to find these little things inside would have been cool!

The bracelet is teensy, but it does actually fit me, little baby wrists that I have.

Now I held off on yelling about this as soon as I saw it so I could get the bracelet out of the way, but-- aaaaa. AAAAA. AAAAA.

This is actual Chat Noir merch. Not Ladybug and Chat Noir, just Chat Noir. This disproves Astruc breaking into my Easter egg because there’s no way he would have overlooked something like this. From the product listing I could see they have other designs for these - Ladybug and both heroes together - so I’m counting myself exceptionally lucky to have landed the solo Chat Noir one.

It’s a rubber ball, if it’s unclear. But does it bounce?

IT SURE DOES. What a fantastic addition to my Shelf of Interesting Adriens.

So that’s that!

Was it cute? Yes! Was it worth the price tag? Absolutely not! Am I satisfied? Moderately!

It’s a nice product (when it doesn’t arrive in smithereens) where the main draw is obviously the show itself, and I’m far more satisfied with this than the Christmas calendar in terms of design, marketing angle and the quality of the little toys included. I adore that Chat Noir bouncy ball!

The price tag was absolutely not worth it - especially when it only comes with one bracelet, rather than two as I initially thought - but I’ll give it the benefit of the doubt in assuming Amazon’s marked it up a good bit, and hopefully I’ll get at least a partial refund for it arriving in the state it did which will balance things out. I’d expect to see this on a supermarket shelf for about £6.99 tops; at the cheaper end of branded Easter goods.

Overall, I had fun with this! I wouldn’t recommend it at the current price, but if it makes the rounds again more cheaply it’s a nice little thing to pick up if you’re into collecting Miraculous stuff. The chocolate tastes better than expected, the toys are cute (and especially cool if you get your hands on a Chat Noir one), and you’ll get a gigantic swathe of decorative foil to use however you please. I’m thinking I might line my shelf of Miraculous merch with it.

(LATER EDIT: Amazon responded and refunded me the entire cost, no returns necessary, which is absolutely wonderful! It might be an obliterated egg, but it’s a free obliterated egg, with the cute packaging and toys to boot. How lovely!)

Happy Easter! °˖✧◝(⁰▿⁰)◜✧˖°

#josie talks about things #miraculous ladybug #ml easter egg #the true meaning of easter is MIRACULOUS CHOCOLATE and we all KNOW this #it's looking like adding a Read More to posts is messing with the apostrophe/speech marks coding #so i DESPERATELY HOPE it looks okay under the cut #i'm terribly sorry if it doesn't

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newspapper99 · 4 years ago

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Express Recipes: How to make Creamy Papaya Raita

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alan-and-suzi · 5 years ago

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Tuesday 21st April 2020

Today I was playing about taking photos through an empty toilet roll lined in bacofoil (as you do!) ....this is us on our wedding day. I was pleased with the result, it looks pretty cool 😎.

We were going to get up at eight thirty this morning but we went back to sleep again and eventually got up about 10am. After breakfast we had two deliveries in quick succession. First one from Muck and Brass, some wallpaper that I’m going to use to line the glass doors of two kitchen cabinets and a small graffiti print. Then a delivery from Amazon of three balls of grey DK wool and six balls of black, I don’t know what I’m going to do with them yet, my pattern book isn’t due to come until after 25th May! After that Alan went off to Iceland with the Rolser and a big shopping list and I waited nervously for his return. Whilst he was gone I needed to keep busy so I sent this weeks quotes quiz to Rascals, Alan’s parents and Linda. Then I painted around our poetry with black paint, we had initially done it with black felt pen but the words showed through, the black paint seems to have done the job nicely though. After that I lined an empty toilet roll tube with bacofoil and took some photos looking through it, the best one was the one above. Next I checked social media and liked some posts on the Rascals Instagram, then thankfully Alan returned. He did indeed have a good haul from Iceland, including an Easter Egg, hurrah! We did a belated Mr Motivator as we didn’t have time before Alan went out.

After lunch I decided I would go to the Spa (it’s open again today) to pick up Nestea, Diet Coke, Milk and tins of veg. just to finish the replenishment of our stocks. It was quite warm today so I just had on a dress when I went out, and my mask of course. I managed to get all the things on our list, it was quiet on the streets and in the shop. Home again we packed everything away then had a cup of tea and a Daim bar. The builders over the road were noisy today, they had their radio on very loud most of the afternoon so Alan couldn’t concentrate on writing. We did the 8pm applause, our daily challenges, Mr M again followed by reading. We shared a bottle of wine and had half the Easter Egg each, when did they get so small?!

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savetopnow · 7 years ago

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grindhousefunhouse · 4 years ago

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youtube

1st collection update since this Pandemic madness started which covers March, April and May of 2020. Come watch as I transition from my iPhone 8 to my new Canon DSLR (a game changer for my channel) which was one of many lockdown purchases I knocked off my big ticket items want list.

On the physical media front, you'll see my Arrow Video Easter Sale haul, One DVD of an old early 80's Ninja TV-Movie, A few Amazon purchases, Vinyl Soundtracks I bought on my trip to Quebec City and some I ordered from Europe (how fancy of me) and a few more things that makes this collection update pretty damn stacked.

PLEASE LIKE! SHARE! & SUBSCRIBE!

• INSTAGRAM: https://www.instagram.com/grindhousefunhouse • FACEBOOK: https://www.facebook.com/grindhousefunhouse • TWITTER: https://www.twitter.com/grindfunhouse • REDDIT: https://www.reddit.com/r/grindhousefunhouse

#bluraycollectionupdate #collectionupdate #blurays #vhs #horrormovies

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jillianjmiles · 5 years ago

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Funnlot Cosplay Tie for Harry Costume Accessory for Christmas Party Easter Day Halloween Party Hand-Make Necktie (Burgundy)

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gefestix-blog · 6 years ago

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1pageatatime-blog · 7 years ago

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Need a Book for Your LO’s Easter Basket?

Ah, spring! Or, at least that’s what the calendar is telling me. In Pittsburgh, we got a TON of snow yesterday, and even though it’s sunny today, everything is still covered. Because of the weather, Max and I missed story time at our local library - which stinks, because it’s the highlight of his week. Luckily, we checked out a ton of books last week, so they have been holding us over during our snow days.

Our library haul included “We’re Going on an Egg Hunt” by Laura Hughes.

You’re probably familiar with “We’re going on a Bear Hunt,” and this follows the same cadence. It also features look and find flaps and gives children the chance to practice their numbers as they count the eggs they find. I also took time to go over the names of all of the animals inside and make the noises that each of them make.

The flaps made this book fun and interactive for my little guy, which has made it stand out from the other Easter books we’ve been pulling off the shelves.

You can get this in a board book format in two days with Amazon Prime (just in case you’re reading this a few days before April 1st!) or from Barnes and Noble.

Age Range: Birth - 3 Years

#easter #laura hughes

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31-in-31 · 7 years ago

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Krampus

Directed by Michael Dougherty

Released 2015

Krampus is a horror movie for those who don’t really like horror movies. If Krampus was a beer it would be Bud Lite. It’s kinda got the flavor of a beer, but it won’t get you drunk unless you never drink or are a complete lightweight. In the case of Krampus, it tastes kinda like a horror movie, but it really doesn’t carry with it any of the necessary flavors that a true horror movie has: fear, suspense, surprises, and hops. The plot is predictable and safe so when a character is eventually dispatched you almost expect Krampus to play a little song flute, and Oompa Loompas to come out to take the character away. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed this movie but it wasn’t because it scared me.

“So what did you like about Krampus, Mike?”. Well, reader, if you would wait and not interrupt me I could tell you. There were two things in particular I loved about this movie, the monsters and the attention to detail.

As for Krampus and his army of demented toys, I have a ton of respect for director and writer Michael Dougherty for his insistence that the majority of the monsters be practical effects. He worked with WETA Workshop and delivered some Del Toro-lite creatures that included Krampus, Jack In the Box, Cherub, Dark Elves, Snowmen, and Teddy Bear. The only CGI creatures were the psychotic gingerbread cookies.

Krampus’ roots date back to pre-Germanic paganism. His name originates with the German krampen, which means “claw,” and is the son of the Norse god of the underworld, Hel. In the 12th Century, the Catholic Church tried to ban Krampus (of course they did), but were unsuccessful. At some point Krampus and St. Nick teamed up to form the original SuperPowers Tag Team. They were quite the pair and not at all battling like you see in movies nowadays. While St. Nick was busy putting candy in the shoes of good kids and birch twigs in the shoes of the bad, Krampus delighted in going medieval on the bad kids by beating them with the birch sticks Santa set them up with or stuffing them into his Krampus sack and hauling them off to his place to be tortured or eaten. If you think about it Santa, like the Catholic Church, is complicit in the abuse, disappearance, and murder of little children all around the globe!

“Mike, you know a little more about Krampus then I’m comfortable with.”

If you watch this movie you’ll learn none of what I just told you. I did that research myself on the Smithsonian website, fucker. What this movie does do is put little German easter eggs (another odd addition to a Christian holiday) in the movie. The most obvious is the German grandmother (not sure that would qualify as an egg) who seems to have a pretty good understanding of the road her family is going down. We find out that her parents and siblings were killed by Krampus when she was a little girl and had lost her Christmas spirit, but in classic German coldness she lets them dig their own graves. The stop-motion animation of the grandmother's story is actually very cool and resembles holiday movies from the 1950s. Another example is the delivery service that brings a last-minute gift to the house. Now if you've seen the movie you may have noticed that the company delivering the package is DHL. It is not obvious at first, but that red and yellow is one of two things - a Kansas City Chiefs starter jacket or a DHL delivery truck driver uniform. When we saw this I immediately thought, who the fuck uses DHL?!? I mean, are they even still in business? Do they have physical locations that you can walk into and drop a package off at? I’ve never bought anything off Amazon and seen a DHL shipping option. Anyways, DHL was too random of a delivery service to be in the movie so, like my Krampus research, I rolled up my sleeves and went to work. After clearing some cobwebs and blowing some dust off the DHL website I uncovered a startling fact - DHL was founded in Germany!

We rate Krampus 33 snow globes out of 40.

October 22, 2017

#31in31 #horror #horrormovie #christmashorror

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kevinpolowy · 7 years ago

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‘Get Out’ already looking like legit Oscar contender

Daniel Kaluuya and Allison Williams in ‘Get Out’ (Universal)

Jordan Peele’s brilliant racial satire Get Out could be getting ready to make an Oscar run. For months now, the film has been in the conversation for geeks like me, but as Martin Lawrence put it in Bad Boys II, “s**t just got real.”

Get Out took a major step in the marathon that is the awards race Thursday by racking up a leading four nominations from the Gotham Awards, where it will compete for Best Feature, Best Screenplay (Peele), Breatkthrough Director (Peele again), and Best Actor (Daniel Kaluuya, as a photographer who uncovers a deeply sinister plot while visiting the rural suburban home of his white girlfriend’s affluent parents).

The Gotham Awards are doled out by the Independent Film Project, and Get Out stands out among the nominees for its major studio distributor (Universal) in a pool filled with indie companies like A24 (The Florida Project, Lady Bird), Sony Pictures Classics (Call Me By Your Name), and Neon (I, Tonya), and streaming giants Amazon (The Big Sick) and Netflix (Mudbound). Given the studio brawn behind its release, and massive $175 million box-office haul, it’s easy to forget Get Out was produced by horror hitmaker Jason Blum, et al. for a “mere” $4.8 million — or $200,000 less than the Sundance comedy The Big Sick.

But Get Out will ultimately differentiate itself in the awards derby because of the type of film it is. Namely, a genre movie; and namelier, a horror movie.

The Academy is famous for its aversion to scary movies. Psycho (1960), Rosemary’s Baby (1968), Halloween (1978), The Shining (1980), The Thing (1982): These are all classic films that had their hopes of a Best Picture nomination ultimately bludgeoned.

You can count the “true” horror films that have competed for Best Picture over the past 50 years on one hand: They are The Exorcist (1973), Jaws (1975), and The Sixth Sense (1999). Even if you add quasi-horror films like The Silence of the Lambs (1991) and Black Swan (2010), you’re still on one hand.

So the historical odds are not in Get Out’s favor, but there are plenty factors that are: The film was not only a critical and commercial hit, but it dominated the zeitgeist for weeks after its release as audiences debated its deeper syntaxes, discovered its heaping assortment of Easter eggs, and sprinted all over the damn place as part of the #GetOutChallenge meme.

Get Out Is the type of mass-consumed entertainment meant to benefit from the Academy’s decision to expand the Best Picture pool from five nominees to its current confusing, algorithmically dictated number (between five and 10) — an adjustment that finally paid dividends for a mainstream favorite with Mad Max: Fury Road’s nod in 2015. And Get Out is definitely a film that stands to benefit from the Academy’s efforts to make its voting body younger and more diverse in the wake of #OscarsSoWhite.

A Best Picture nomination, at this point, looks promising: Of the 24 awards experts on the awards-tracking site Gold Derby, 20 currently predict it will make the cut (including yours truly). Peele stands a much smaller chance of competing for Best Director, though he should land in the Best Original Screenplay category. After those races, it may not register elsewhere on the ballot, though I would love to see Catherine Keener in the mix for Best Supporting Actress for that haunting hypnosis sequence alone.

As for the film’s Gotham Award nominations, don’t dismiss them. The Gothams predicted Oscar’s Best Picture winner the past three years (Moonlight, Spotlight, and Birdman). There also tends to be a cumulative effect to awards season, once a film or person scores a string of early accolades, it just keeps going. The Gotham haul, then, may have just helped legitimize Get Out’s long-term chances.

Watch the hilarious impressions that Jordan Peele busted out while directing Get Out:

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