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amberlynnmurdock · 11 months ago

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Neighbor Pt. 4 - Christmas Edition

Matt Murdock x Reader

Summary: Matt Murdock dreaded Christmas until she gave him a new meaning to it.

Words: about 2.3k

Genres: FLUFF, light angst

A/N: Merry Christmas Eve!!! <3

Part 3

The holidays were finally here, and Matt Murdock was dreading them.

He used to love Christmas. Before his accident, he remembered waking up at three in the morning to the sound of his father wrapping gifts under the tree on Christmas Eve. Yeah, his father had a match on Christmas Eve one year, and Matt was disappointed when he told him he had to stay home. He watched the match on their old TV, lights on the Christmas tree twinkling behind him, blood splattering on the camera as Battlin’ Jack Murdock knocked out his foe. Matt sauntered off to bed after that, passing the tree with missing presents, not giving a damn because the greatest gift he could have was watching his father win on TV. But Matt remembers that crinkling noise of tape on wrapping paper and the growing excitement in his chest that his father did get him a present.

After the accident, and after his father was murdered, Christmas started to feel less warm and more of a thing to get by. The only time he ever felt anything close to how he did before was going to mass. Even mass started to lose its lure as he got older and understood the heartache that came with Christmas, mostly from prayers—prayers only he could hear because of his senses. Parents prayed to God for a Christmas miracle to afford gifts, and orphaned children prayed for someone to adopt them in time for the holiday.

Christmas hasn’t been the same for Matt for a long time. He still attended mass at his old church, said hello to Father Lantom and the sisters who practically raised him, and continued to carry that heaviness in his heart that’d been growing since he was a kid. It will never go away.

It was worse living in Hell’s Kitchen alone. But at least in recent years, he had Karen and Foggy to celebrate Christmas with. Except, this year was different. After years and years of space her father needed, Karen’s dad was finally ready to reconcile with his daughter. She left work early Friday to drive up to Vermont. Foggy was spending Christmas with Marci’s family this year, all the way in South Jersey. This left Matt on his own for Christmas for the first time in years. He didn’t know what he would do.

Come Christmas, the entire apartment was nearly empty. Everyone had left to go to the country to visit family. Everyone but her. She was alone today as well…soft classical music played from her apartment—she never played music too loud, unlike other tenants. The movie How the Grinch Stole Christmas played in the background, too. And Matt’s mouth started to water and his stomach growled when he smelt gingerbread cookies from her oven.

To feel closer to her, Matt reached for the latest book in braille she brought him. She said it was one of her favorites: The Old Man and the Sea by Ernest Hemingway. Matt was never a big fan of literature, but for her, he could be. While he couldn’t make sense of some metaphors (he blames law school for teaching him to take things very literally) he still appreciated the way authors could write beautifully. And he loved reading what she loved.

When she tried to explain the allegories and metaphors in the book, Matt joked to her about a book his father used to read to him all the time: The Giving Tree. That was the last book he ever read for pleasure, juvenile and silly as it was. His father read it to him before bed every night. And there it was again, that familiar ache and break in his soul whenever he thought of his father.

He closed the book and closed his eyes as he let the sounds of the smell of her apartment fill his senses. He longed to be there with her. He longed to say hello. Eventually, he would work up the courage. Eventually, he fell asleep instead.

***

Matt woke up to a gentle knocking on his door. He shot up on the couch, disoriented, and clicked his phone for the time. It is 6 PM, the automated voice read. Matt felt his heart drop as panic set in. He fell asleep for that long?!

When he listened for the knocks again, he realized it was her at his door. Matt panicked again and ran his hand through his chocolate brown hair, hoping he wouldn’t look like a mess when he answered his door. He cracked his neck and adjusted his shirt as he walked over to answer. He didn’t bother to hone in on his senses to get a feel for what she had with her if there was anything at all. Matt opened the door.

“Hi Matt,” she said, her voice an octave higher out of nervousness. “Is now a bad time?”

“Oh no,” Matt answered quickly, running a hand through his hair again. “I just—was… I accidentally fell asleep,” he ended up admitting sheepishly. There was no use in lying.

“No plans either today, huh?” She asked a hint of irony in her tone. Matt huffed out a laugh, ignoring that tugging feeling in his heart.

“Well, I might attend mass later, since I at least didn’t sleep through that,” Matt answered. “Merry Christmas, by the way.”

“Merry Christmas!” She exclaimed, and it was then that Matt finally noticed she was holding a plate of gingerbread cookies in her hands. “I baked some cookies and thought you’d like some. Some have frosting and some don’t. I wasn’t sure what you preferred.”

“Are you kidding? I don’t discriminate cookies,” Matt smiled, taking the plate from her hands graciously. “Thank you. You didn’t have to do that.” He suddenly felt guilty—he didn’t have anything to offer her.

“I wanted to,” she shrugged. “You’re the only person here I can share this day with, so why not?”

Matt smiled softly, wondering why she was celebrating Christmas alone. No family, like him?

He wasn’t sure what to say now. Well, he knew what he wanted to say… he knew what he wanted to ask. But he wasn’t sure if he had the courage to.

“Well,” she said, “I’ll leave you to it. I hope you like them,” there was a hint of urgency in her voice like she too was holding something back. Uncertainty. He wasn’t a stranger to it.

“Hey,” Matt suddenly said, swallowing his pride, his lonesome, his fear. “Would you—if you’re up to it, would you want to join me for Christmas mass? It’s at my old Catholic Church a few blocks down. I could—use some company.”

“Really?” She jumped at the opportunity. Matt’s heart skipped a beat. “Even though I’m not that religious, I could go?”

“Of course,” Matt answered, “they always welcome strangers. It starts at 7:30.”

“Well, okay,” she answered happily, “I'd love to join you.”

“Alright then,” Matt said. “I’ll come by your door at 7. Until then, I might finish this plate of cookies.”

She laughed. He wanted to tell another joke just to hear it again.

***

The walk home from Mass was quieter than the way there if that were possible. Perhaps, neither of them was used to being with the other outside the apartment—or maybe, both of them had a lot to say but no idea how to say it. What did Matt want to say?

It’s been a while since he went to mass with anyone. For her to accompany him to something important to him meant the world. She didn’t know how much it meant to him for her to join. Most people groaned at the idea of going to church—but her? She nearly leaped at it. It made him even more curious as to why she was alone on this day, but he would save that question for another time. Right now, he was just grateful.

She reached in her pocket for the keys to the building. Matt listened closely to her. Her heart was beating slightly faster than normal from walking. She was taking shaky breaths from the cold. When the door finally opened, Matt held it for her to walk in first. He was thankful they didn’t run into any trouble on the way home.

“I’m not used to the building being this quiet,” she said on the way up the stairs, in an attempt to make conversation.

“Me either,” Matt said. “I could get used to it, though.”

“I hope I’m not too loud,” she laughed lightly.

“You?” Matt scoffed. “You’re a dream of a neighbor. You drop me off books and now cookies.”

She laughed again, “You save me from bad dates. I guess you’re not bad of a neighbor either.”

When they finally reached their floor, Matt walked her to her door and listened from the outside, just in case. It was quiet, and still. Safe. Safe for her to walk in. She paused at the door, that familiar uncertainty filling her voice again as she spoke.

“That was beautiful,” she said softly, “the service. It’s been a while since I’ve been to something like that. I forgot how fulfilling it was.”

“I’m glad you enjoyed it,” Matt said. “Most people find it boring—which I suppose it can be, but on days like today, I could really use it. It��gets lonely during the holidays.”

“I understand,” she whispered, leaning against her door. She didn’t want to leave him. She didn’t want this to be the end of their night. “I feel the same.”

“Yeah,” Matt spoke gently. “Thank you for joining me. It means a lot to me.”

“You’re welcome,” she sighed. “Before you go, I do have one last thing for you. Do you want to come inside real quick, before we say goodnight?”

Matt was stunned by her question—it was at that moment he realized he’d been waiting for her to ask it.

“Sure,” Matt tried to sound as calm as possible. She smiled and unlocked her door.

Matt tapped his cane in front of him to walk inside. If her apartment wasn’t intoxicating enough, being inside was downright exhilarating. A soft vanilla scent wafted through her apartment. There was a suede couch in the living room and a velvet carpet. Matt took a seat on her couch as she sauntered off to her bedroom. Her bedroom…

“Okay,” she softly announced, reappearing in the living room. “Hold out your hands.”

Matt rested his cane on the floor and held out his hands smiling. She sat down next to him, her knee touching his. She placed what felt like a thin rectangle, wrapped in paper, in his hands.

“You can open it,” she giggled.

Matt began to slowly rip at the present, careful to not completely rip it apart. Whatever he held, it was upside down. Matt flipped it in his hands. It was a book, of course. When he ran his fingers over the cover, his heart nearly dropped in his stomach.

⠞⠓⠑ ⠛⠊⠧⠊⠝⠛ ⠞⠗⠑⠑

The Giving Tree

Translated in Braille

The Giving Tree. His childhood book. The last book his father ever read to him. A book he hasn’t picked up in years.

“I know it’s juvenile,” she began to explain as she saw the utter surprise on Matt’s face, even behind his dark glasses. “But there’s something special about revisiting childhood books. They shaped us. I remember you told me your dad used to read this to you all the time. I thought maybe you’d like to have a new copy in braille.”

Matt was overcome by so many emotions—the thoughtfulness behind her gift, the memories it brought him, the feelings he hadn’t felt since he was a kid—it was all too much, too much for him to pretend like this didn’t impact him. It did. So many things made sense for him at this moment. From being the only two left in this apartment on Christmas, to the book she’s gifted him.

He whispered her name, placing the book in his lap. He didn’t care if his next actions were too forward, it was the only way he could convey what he felt. He took both her hands in his and rubbed his thumbs over her knuckles, feeling each bone slowly and the way her fingers melted in his palms.

“Thank you,” he uttered, choked on emotion. His heart felt too big in his chest. “This means a lot to me. I wish… I wish I could explain it better,” Matt whispered. “I love it. Thank you.”

“Of course,” she whispered in return, surprised at his sudden vulnerability. “I’m happy you like it.”

Suddenly, Matt pulls his hands away from hers, placing them on the cover of the book. A dark expression fell over his face. “I didn’t get you anything. I’m sorry.”

“Oh, Matt,” she laughed, “it’s not about that for me. Your reaction alone was more than I could ever want. And spending this dreadful day not alone for once was the best gift of all.”

She walked Matt to the door. It was getting late and she felt ready to go to sleep. It was an emotionally exhausting day but fulfilling. She only wished it didn’t have to end with her alone. Spending Christmas with Matt was a treat. She didn’t know how badly she needed it.

Before he was completely outside her door, he turned around and offered a small smile.

“If you ever get lonely,” Matt began in a voice above a whisper, “Christmas or not… I’m only across the hall.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” she smiled, “the same sentiment applies to you, too.”

When she shut her door, Matt waited to hear the click of the lock. He stood for a moment, book in hand, cane in the other, heart on his sleeve. He left a part of himself with her. He wanted her to keep it forever.

For once, Christmas didn’t feel lonely and it didn’t feel like something he once longed for. There he was, holding a part of his childhood in his hands carefully, while perhaps a glimmer of a future waited on the other side of the door.

TAGS: @mattmurdocksstarlight @yentroucnagol @danzer8705 @allllium @i-marvel-bitch @mattsgirlsworld @babygrlmurdock @writtenbyred @uncle-eggy

#matt murdock #matt murdock x reader #matt murdock x you #daredevil #daredevil x reader #charlie cox #charlie cox x reader #the defenders #marvel #mcu #neighbor

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