#amateur haircuts

[rascheln]

While putting my hair in a bun is suddenly much harder, it's also SO much lighter. I no longer feel like my scalp is gonna die...!!

[that-dumbass-rabbit]

What's this? Self portrait 3rd try? I think it really is the charm cuz this one finally looks like me

[likeallbeforeyou]

literally i would be so cute if my hair had a style and not just . Long

[justdannyquinn]

January 25th, 2023

Had a wee trim. I can guarantee that the beard will be back before you know it, though.

[cloud-ya]

had an amateur attempt at shag/layered haircut last night, because it's a very rational thing to do at 2am

[ohhappyday123]

The Office - Communication Breakdown

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN SCRANTON OFFICE - DAY

The usual hustle and bustle of the office fills the air as employees go about their work. The camera pans across the bullpen, capturing snippets of conversations and the clatter of keyboards.

Y/N'S DESK

Y/N is seated at her desk, working on some paperwork. Dwight approaches with a stern look on his face.

Dwight: [seriously] Y/N, I need you to tell Jim something for me.

Y/N: [looking up, amused] Sure, Dwight. What's up?

Dwight: [glancing around to make sure Jim isn't nearby] Tell him that his prank was amateur at best and that he will never best me in a battle of wits.

[Y/N chuckles and nods, turning to find Jim.]

Jim's Desk

[Jim is leaning back in his chair, fiddling with a paperclip. Y/N walks over and delivers Dwight's message.]

Y/N: [smiling] Jim, Dwight wants you to know that your prank was amateur at best and that you'll never best him in a battle of wits.

Jim: [grinning] Oh, really? Well, tell Dwight that his sense of humor is as outdated as his haircut.

[She laughs and walks back to Dwight.]

Dwight's Desk

[Dwight is busy organizing his desk meticulously. Y/N approaches and delivers Jim's message.]

Y/N: [trying not to laugh] Jim says your sense of humor is as outdated as your haircut.

Dwight: [fuming] Tell him that I’m shunning him for the rest of the week, effective immediately.

Y/N: [sighing] Dwight, don't you think this is a bit much?

Dwight: [seriously] No. This is a necessary measure.

[Y/N returns to Jim's desk to relay the latest message.]

Jim: [smiling] Ah, shunning. Classic Dwight.

Interview - Dwight

Dwight: [looking serious] Shunning is an ancient Amish tradition. It's a way to show someone that their behavior is unacceptable. Jim needs to learn that pranks have consequences.

Interview - Jim

Jim: [grinning] Dwight shuns me about twice a month. It's kind of our thing. It's annoying, but also, it makes him easier to mess with.

Interview - Y/N

Y/N: [laughing] Being the middleman between Jim and Dwight is like being a referee in a game where only one person knows they're playing. It's exhausting, but it's also kind of hilarious.

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN SCRANTON OFFICE - LATER

BREAK ROOM

[Y/N, Pam, and Jim are having lunch together. Dwight enters the room, looking determined.]

Pam: [whispering to Y/N] What's going on with Dwight today?

Y/N: [whispering back] He's shunning Jim. Again.

[Dwight clears his throat loudly, getting everyone's attention.]

Dwight: Y/N, tell Jim that he needs to stop leaving his dirty dishes in the sink.

Y/N: [sighing] Dwight, he's right here. You can tell him yourself.

Dwight: [stubbornly] No. I will not acknowledge his existence.

Jim: [smiling] Well, Y/N, tell Dwight that I will stop leaving my dishes in the sink when he stops labeling all his food in the fridge. No one wants his beet salad.

Y/N: [laughing] Okay, okay. How about we all just clean up after ourselves?

Pam: [amused] Yeah, that sounds like a good plan.

Dwight: [grudgingly] Fine.

Interview - Pam

Pam: [smiling] Watching Dwight shun Jim is like watching a soap opera. You can't help but get invested in the drama.

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN SCRANTON OFFICE - AFTERNOON

BULLPEN

Y/N is at her desk when Michael approaches, looking confused.

Michael: Y/N, why is Dwight shunning Jim again?

Y/N: [smiling] Jim pranked him, and now Dwight's using his Amish shunning technique to teach him a lesson.

Michael: [nodding thoughtfully] Ah, classic Dwight. Well, keep up the good work. You're doing great as the office mediator.

Interview - Michael

Michael: [confidently] Y/N is like the glue that holds this office together. Without them, we'd be in chaos. More chaos than usual, I mean.

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN SCRANTON OFFICE - LATER

CONFERENCE ROOM

Everyone is gathered for a meeting. Dwight and Jim are sitting on opposite sides of the table, with the reader between them.

Michael: [excitedly] Okay, team! Today we're going to brainstorm some new ideas for our sales strategy. Y/N, why don't you start us off?

Y/N: [clearing their throat] Sure. I was thinking we could focus on improving our customer service by...

[The camera cuts to Dwight, who leans over to Y/N and whispers something in her ear.]

Dwight: [whispering] Tell Jim that his idea for the new sales strategy is idiotic and will never work.

[Y/N rolls her eyes but obliges, whispering Dwight's message to Jim.]

Jim: [whispering back] Tell Dwight that his idea for the new sales strategy is so outdated that it belongs in a museum.

Y/N: [exasperated] Guys, can we focus on the meeting?

Interview - Dwight

Dwight: [seriously] Communicating through Y/N is actually quite efficient. It ensures that Jim understands the severity of his actions.

Interview - Jim

Jim: [laughing] It’s like we’re in middle school. Dwight thinks he’s making a point, but really, it just gives me more opportunities to mess with him.

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN SCRANTON OFFICE - AFTERNOON

BULLPEN

As the day continues, the shunning persists. Y/N is caught in the middle of increasingly absurd messages between Jim and Dwight.

Dwight: [smirking] Tell Jim that he should be prepared for a battle of wits tomorrow. I won't go easy on him.

Y/N: [sighing] Dwight, maybe you should just talk to him directly?

Dwight: [firmly] No. This is how it must be.

Jim: [grinning] Tell Dwight that I look forward to it. And that he should bring his A-game.

Y/N shakes her head, amused by the ongoing feud. As she turn back to het work, they catch a glimpse of Stanley watching the whole exchange with a bemused expression.

Interview - Stanley

Stanley: [chuckling] I stay out of their nonsense. But it’s always entertaining to watch. Y/N does a good job keeping the peace.

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN SCRANTON OFFICE - LATE AFTERNOON

Y/N'S DESK

Y/N is working when Jim walks over, looking slightly sheepish.

Jim: [softly] Hey, sorry for dragging you into all this. I know it’s a lot.

Y/N: [smiling] It's okay. It keeps things interesting.

Jim: [smiling back] How about we get dinner tonight? My treat.

Y/N: [grinning] Sounds like a plan.

[As Jim walks away, Y/N catches Dwight watching them intently.]

Dwight: [seriously] Y/N, remember to relay my message about the battle of wits.

Y/N: [laughing] I will, Dwight. I will.

Interview - Y/N

Y/N: [laughing] It's exhausting, but I wouldn't have it any other way. This place is like a second home, and these people are like family. A very dysfunctional family.

INT. DUNDER MIFFLIN SCRANTON OFFICE - END OF DAY

As the day winds down, employees start packing up their things. Jim and Y/N walk out together, exchanging smiles and quiet conversation.

Pam: [smiling as she watches them leave] Those two are perfect for each other.

Michael: [beaming] Y/N and Jim make a great team. They're like the Romeo and Juliet of the office. But, you know, without the tragic ending.

[The camera captures Dwight watching Jim and Y/N with a mix of suspicion and grudging respect.]

Interview - Dwight

Dwight: [seriously] As much as it pains me to admit, Jim and Y/N are a formidable team. But that doesn't mean I won't crush him in our battle of wits.

Interview - Jim

Jim: [smiling] Dwight will never admit it, but he likes having Y/N around as much as the rest of us do. Even if he shows it in the weirdest way possible.

Interview - Y/N

Y/N: [smiling] At the end of the day, we’re all just trying to get through the workday with a little bit of fun. And if that means playing messenger between Jim and Dwight, so be it.

[backonrepeat]

BG3 Villains modern corporate au

Gortash: tech bro/genius entrepreneur. His "rags to riches" story has been covered in dozens of think pieces and business profiles. Probably was on one of those 30 under 30 lists, or something, at some point. He plays the "outsider" card to great effect (terrible haircut, fancy sneakers, no tie,...) and is quite popular, despite the numerous reports on the terrible working conditions in his company and his ideas not being near as profitable as he makes them out to be (or not being entirely his at all). Despite all his wealth, he's still ultimately beholden to his VC investors, Bane Inc. (I don't want to say he's like el*n musk, because i despise that man but... He's exactly like el*n musk except more charismatic and with jason isaacs' voice)

Orin (and Durge): nepobabies. Super rich family, Succession-style, where maybe dad Bhaal was the one to make a fortune and all his kids ride on the coattails of his success, fighting amongst themselves to be the one who gets to succeed him. Durge is the heir apparent, smart, charismatic, and with a true killer instinct, until Orin leaks some scandalous info that gets them cancelled and fired from the company. (Gorion's Ward is the kid that left the family to go and be a social worker or activist)

Ketheric: old school CEO, inherited a small family company, he used to be a good boss and look out for his employees. After a bitter divorce, and a fallout with his daughter after she came out, he buried himself in his work, became obsessed with success to try and win his family back. He sold the company to a large multinational in order to run Aylin's rival company out of business, screwed over his employees (and himself), and has been unsuccessfully trying to reconcile with Isobel ever since.

Auntie Ethel: runs a very successful MLM essential oils scheme

Raphael: bastard son of star lawyer Mephistopheles, tries his best to follow in his father's footsteps, to become a cutthroat lawyer. He even starts screwing his secretary, Harleep (Mephisto's spy, of course), to emulate his father's toxic behaviour. Deep down, he dreams of Broadway (and is part of an amateur musical theatre company)

The Emperor: former activist, now part of a political large lobby, still convinced he's on the right side of things. Tries to get all his activist friends and colleagues to join the lobby, after all the pay is so much better, and is puzzled when they refuse and call him a sell-out.

Vlaakith: career politician. Has been in office for what feels like forever, there's no removing her. There are better, younger politicians in her party who have great potential, but she sabotages them in order to remain in power.

[honeybeesources]

BO  BURNHAM:  INSIDE  SENTENCE  STARTERS! (Change  as needed.  NSFW  and  triggering  content  ahead.)

CONTENT "Interesting,  now  leave  me  alone." "Sorry  that  I  look  like  a  mess." "I  booked  a  haircut,  but  it  got  rescheduled." "Might  not  help,  but  still,  it  couldn't  hurt." "I'm  sorry  I  was  gone." "It's  a  beautiful  day  to  stay  inside."

COMEDY "What  the  fuck  is  going  on?" "It's  like  everything  happened  all  at  once." "Um,  what  the  fuck  is  going  on?" "The  more  I  look,  the  more  I  see  nothing  to  joke  about." "Should  I  leave  you  alone?" "Should  I  be  joking  at  a  time  like  this?" "The  world  is  so...  fucked  up." "Don't  panic." "Call  me  and  I'll  tell  you  a  joke." "I  swore  I'd  never  be  back,  but  now  I'm  back  on  my  feet."

FACETIME  WITH  MY  MOM  (TONIGHT) "Pour  me  a  drink  and  clear  my  schedule." "Oh,  look  who's  here." "How  you  doing,  bud?" "I'm  not  so  bad." "That's  the  deepest  talk  we've  ever  had."

HOW  THE  WORLD  WORKS "The  world  that's  around  us  is  pretty  amazing." "But  how  does  it  work?" "It�� must  be  complicated." "Everything  works  together." "That  is  how  the  world  works." "That's  how  it  works." "Hey,  everyone." "Look  who  stopped  by  to  say  hello.  It's  [muse  name]!" "Where've  you  been,  [muse  name]?" "Not  quite  dead,  not  quite  alive." "It's  similar  to  a  constant  state  of  sleep  paralysis." "Boy,  that  sounds  complicated." "How  about  you  give  it  a  try?" "Don't  you  know  the  world  is  built  with  blood?" "That's  pretty  intense." "No  shit." "Read  a  book  or  something,  I  don't  know." "Just  don't  burden  me  with  the  responsibility  of  educating  you." "It's  incredibly  exhausting." "I  was  just  trying  to  become  a  better  person." "Wait,  wait,  wait,  no,  please!" "I  don't  want  to  go  back.  Please." "I  can't  go,  I  can't  go  back." "Are  you  gonna  behave  yourself?" "Yes,  what?" "Yes,  sir." "I  hope  you  learned  your  lesson."

WHITE  WOMAN'S  INSTAGRAM "Is  this  heaven?" "I  can't  believe  it." "It's  been  a  decade  since  you've  been  gone." "I  miss  you." "It's  got  a  little  better,  but  it's  still  hard." "Still  figuring  out  how  to  keep  living  with  you." "I  got  a  job  I  love  and  my  own  apartment." "I  got  a  boyfriend  and  I'm  crazy  about  him." "I'm  crazy  about  him."

UNPAID  INTERN "Who  needs  a  coffee?" "I'm  writing  down  the  orders  now  for  everyone." "The  coffee  is  free,  just  like  me." "I'm  an  unpaid  intern." "You  work  all  day,  go  back  to  your  dorm."

BEZOS  I/II "Come  on,  [muse  name],  you  can  do  it." "Pave  the  way,  put  your  back  into  it." "Tell  us  why." "Show  us  how." "Look  at  where  you  came  from." "Look  at  you  now." "Amateurs  can  fucking  suck  it." "You  did  it!" "Congratulations!"

SEXTING "It  isn't  sex,  it's  the  next  best  thing." "I'm  in  bed." "I'm  ready  to  go  with  you." "Tonight,  I'm  thinking  of  taking  it  slow." "That's  pretty  abstract." "Crisis  averted.  Thank  God." "Are  you  naked?" "I'm  getting  hot  at  just  the  thought  of  what  I'd  do  to  you." "I  love  you,  baby." "Send  a  picture  of  your  tits,  please." "Jesus  fucking  Christ,  I  guess  I  never  learn." "I  sent  my  titties,  that's  not  fair." "Another  night  on  my  own."

LOOK  WHO'S  INSIDE  AGAIN "There  isn't  much  more  to  say  about  it." "You'll  do  any  old  shit  to  get  out  of  it." "Try  telling  jokes." "Look  who's  inside  again." "Went  out  to  look  for  a  reason  to  hide  again." "Come  out  with  your  hands  up." "We've  got  you  surrounded."

PROBLEMATIC "Please  forgive  me." "I  did  not  realize  what  I  did." "Are  you  gonna  hold  me  accountable?" "Isn't  anybody  gonna  hold  me  accountable?" "I  wanna  show  you  how  I'm  growing  as  a  person." "I  tried  to  hide  behind  my  childhood,  and  that's  not  okay." "My  actions  are  my  own,  I  won't  explain  them  away." "I've  done  a  lot  of  self-reflecting." "I  was  totally  wrong  when  I  said  it." "My  bed  is  empty  and  I'm  getting  cold." "What  should  I  do  with  it?" "I've  been  totally  awful." "I'm  really  fucking  sorry."

30 "I  used  to  run  for  miles." "I  used  to  ride  my  bike." "I  used  to  wake  up  with  a  smile." "I'm  turning  thirty." "God  damn  it!" "Now,  my  stupid  friends  are  having  stupid  children." "I'll  be  forty  and  I'll  kill  myself  then."

DON'T  WANNA  KNOW "How  are  you  feeling?" "Do  you  like  the  show?" "Are  you  tired  of  it?" "Never  mind,  I  don't  wanna  know." "Are  you  finding  it  boring?" "Do  I  have  your  attention?" "Yes,  or  no?" "Are  you  on  your  phone?" "Is  there  anyone  out  there?" "Am  I  all  alone?" "It  wouldn't  make  a  difference." "I  thought  it'd  be  over  by  now."

SHIT "How  we  feeling  out  there  tonight?" "I  am  not  feeling  good." "Feeling  like  a  bag  of  shit." "All  my  clothes  are  dirty,  so  I'm  smelling  like  a  bag  of  shit." "OMG,  that  is  just  my  luck." "What's  up,  you  useless  fuck?" "Are  you  feeling  what  I'm  feeling?" "I  haven't  had  a  shower  in  the  last  nine  days." "Staring  at  the  ceiling  and  waiting  for  this  feeling  go  away." "It  won't  go  away." "I'm  not  really  feeling  like  I  wanna  get  lit." "Tell  us  how  you're  feeling." "Well,  I  feel  like  shit." "Feeling  like  a  saggy,  massive  sack  of  shit." "Big  ol'  motherfucking  duffle  bag  of  shit." "Are  you  feeling  like  shit?" "Tell  me,  are  you  feeling  like  shit?"

ALL  TIME  LOW "My  current  mental  health  is  rapidly  approaching  an  ATL.  Which  is,  um,  that's  an  all-time  low." "You  know,  I  feel  OK  when  I'm  asleep." "Like,  when  I'm  asleep,  I  feel  all  right." "It's  basically  from  the  moment  I  wake  up,  I  just  get  this  feeling  in  my  body,  way  down  deep  inside  me." "I  try  not  to  fight  it." "My  heart,  it  gets  to  tappin',  and  I  think  I'm  gonna  die." "Um,  yeah,  not  doing  great."

WELCOME  TO  THE  INTERNET "Have  a  look  around." "If  none  of  it's  of  interest  to  you,  you'd  be  the  first." "Come  and  take  a  seat." "There's  no  need  to  panic,  this  isn't  a  test." "Just  nod  or  shake  your  head  and  we'll  do  the  rest." "Be  happy,  be  horny,  be  bursting  with  rage." "Don't  act  surprised." "Could  I  interest  you  in  everything  all  of  the  time?" "Apathy's  a  tragedy  and  boredom  is  a  crime." "You  know?  It  wasn't  always  like  this." "We  set  our  sights  and  spent  our  nights  waiting  for  you." "Now,  look  at  you.  Look  at  you." "If  we  stick  together,  who  knows  what  we'll  do?"

THAT  FUNNY  FEELING "I  can't  really  play  the  guitar  very  well,  or  sing." "Apologies." "The  backlash  to  the  backlash  to  the  thing  that's  just  begun." "There  it  is  again,  that  funny  feeling." "The  whole  world  at  your  fingertips,  the  ocean  at  your  door." "Full  agoraphobic,  losing  focus,  cover  blown." "The  quiet  comprehending  of  the  ending  of  it  all." "Hey,  what  can  you  say?  We  were  overdue." "It'll  be  over  soon,  you  wait."

ALL  EYES  ON  ME "Get  your  fuckin'  hands  up." "Get  on  out  of  your  seats." "All  eyes  on  me,  all  eyes  on  me." "Are  you  feeling  nervous?" "Are  you  having  fun?" "It's  almost  over." "It's  just  begun." "Don't  overthink  this,  look  in  my  eye." "Don't  be  scared,  don't  be  shy." "Come  on  in,  the  water's  fine." "Heads  down,  pray  for  me." "You  wanna  hear  a  funny  story?" "I've  been  hiding  from  the  world,  and  I  need  to  re-enter." "You  say  the  ocean's  rising  like  I  give  a  shit." "You  say  the  whole  world's  ending.  Honey,  it  already  did." "Get  inside."

GOODBYE "So  long." "Goodbye." "I'll  see  you  when  I  see  you." "You  can  pick  the  street." "I'll  meet  you  on  the  other  side." "Do  I  really  have  to  finish?" "Did  I  say  that  right?" "So,  this  is  how  it  ends." "I  promise  to  never  go  outside  again." "I'm  slowly  losing  power." "Has  it  only  been  an  hour?" "No,  that  can't  be  right." "Hey,  here's  a  fun  idea!" "Am  I  going  crazy?" "Am  I  right  back  where  I  started?" "I'll  panic." "Call  me  up  and  tell  me  a  joke." "You're  really  joking  at  a  time  like  this?"

ANY  DAY  NOW "It  will  stop  any  day  now." "Any  day  now."

[homunculus-argument]

I put a surprising amount effort into looking like I don't care about how I look. I've got three piercings in my face and a cockroach tattooed on my back, all done by the best professionals I could get my hands on. Besides my piercings, all my everyday wear jewellery are trinkets from a teen goth store's storage clearing outlet sale. My skincare expenses have now officially surpassed my annual clothing budget, I've got a face cleanse booked on monday that cost me more than my current shoes. I wear a capsule wardrobe consisting of five band tees, two hoodies, flea market/thrift store finds and hand-me-downs, all of which I 100% intend to wear untill they're too broken for me to mend at home. I have a twice-per-day hair care routine to keep my hair from thinning and my hairline from receding, just to cut it myself with shoddy amateur haircuts and dye it jet black at home with box dye.

Altogether, I'm a big proponent of how Dolly Parton put it: It takes a lot of time and money to look this cheap.

[beefromanoff]

Project Mockingbird Ch. 1

summary: Natasha identifies a girl who needs their help and makes a case to the rest of the team. the problem? the girl who needs the help was genetically engineered to oppose their friend.

pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC

chapter list

________________________________________

Three Months Earlier

The team filed into the conference room at The Avengers’ Compound in their usual order: Steve and Vision (fifteen minutes early), Peter, Bruce, Wanda, and Sam right on time, and Tony striding in five minutes late. 

“I have to admit, when I heard you wanted to see me, I was hoping for more of a one-on-one situation.” Sam joked as he plopped down in his chair. 

“Keep dreaming, Wilson.” She shot him a side-eyed glance, a shadow of a smile on her face. 

The room held a strange energy, remaining unusually quiet as everyone waited for Natasha to explain the reason for calling the meeting. Steve and Tony had historically been the only ones to call official team briefings. 

“I found a girl.” Natasha slid a stack of folders across the table. 

“Hey, love is love. As long as I can watch.” Tony grinned. 

“Shut up.” She ignored him and clicked a button on her computer, bringing a set video footage to life on the screen behind her. “Her name is Charlotte Julianna Rossi. She’s 21 years old, according to her Drivers’ License. According to her birth certificate, she’s closer to 100.” 

The room fell quiet, Steve and Natasha exchanging a sobering gaze. The screen on the wall showed several clips at once, all featuring a pretty young girl. Her hair was different colors across all of the clips, some showing her with long, blonde locks and some showing a cropped dark haircut with severe bangs, others showing varying shades of red. 

“She’s hardly been on the radar until the past two years. In that time period, she’s been hospitalized seventeen times for injuries consistent with overuse and extreme fatigue. Rhabdomyolysis, kidney damage, severe muscle strain, dehydration, the list goes on. Every single time, she’s admitted in a critical state but checks herself out against medical advice less than 24 hours later.��� 

As the team shuffled through the documents in front of them, putting pieces together, Natasha continued. 

“I found her because she made headlines earlier this year after getting kicked out of Team USA Olympic trials for women’s gymnastics. They tried to cover it up, didn’t want to get any questions they didn’t have an answer for. From what I was able to gather, she came out of nowhere, competed at the last National Championship meet as an unaffiliated gymnast, and won every event with a perfect score. The entire gymnastics community was up in arms about it. They tried to figure out where she came from, where she trained, but there was nothing. No record. Of course, Team USA begged her to come to the tryout, she blew them away. Somehow, one of the families of the gymnasts at risk of losing their spot got her kicked off for use of performance enhancing drugs. The thing is, there’s no record of her ever even being tested.”

“No offense, Nat, but we aren’t exactly looking to start a Cirque Du Soleil Troupe here.” 

“Tony, shut the fuck up and let me finish.” She gave him an austere look as he put his hands up defensively. 

“Since then, she’s won a dozen amateur MMA matches, three boxing matches, and won fifteen straight games of poker before being banned from the majority of Vegas casinos. She’s making her money drifting, picking up random things and kicking everyone’s ass at them. Clearly, it’s not without a toll, if you look at her hospital records.”

She clicked a button and the screen shifted, sending a chill down everyone’s spine. A grainy document had been scanned in, the HYDRA symbol emblazoned on the top of the letterhead. 

“Project Mockingbird. It was pioneered two years after the Winter Soldier project. Specifically, it was initiated only ten days after a record seventeen HYDRA agents were critically injured trying to contain their primary test subject during an attempted escape.” 

Wanda spoke slowly. “You mean…”

“Bucky.” Steve breathed out. 

“Right.” Natasha was solemn. “I didn’t want to leave him out of this, but I didn’t know how he’d handle it. I figured it was better to tell him once we have more information.” 

Steve nodded, brow knit together in concern. 

“Okay, so I think I’m tracking all of this, but if you could - just so I’m clear, what exactly does all of this mean?” Peter leaned forward nervously. 

Taking a deep breath, Natasha answered. “This is just a hypothesis, but I don’t see much wiggle room. It appears that when HYDRA was working on the Winter Soldier project, on Bucky…they had difficulties containing him. Controlling him. When it became apparent that ordinary agents couldn’t do it, they took to experimenting on others. Orphans, mainly. People no one would miss. Trying to create something…someone to be able to stand against him.”

She pulled out a chair and sat for the first time, regarding all of them seriously. “They had dozens of test subjects. The majority of them didn’t survive the initial round of experimentation. A few others suffered complications in cryo. She’s the only one left.”

“Forgive me for being so forward,” Vision spoke up. “But, if I’m understanding correctly, we have reason to believe that Ms. Ross, she was created to oppose Sergeant Barnes.” 

“Yes.” Natasha avoided Steve’s eyes like her life depended on it. “I believe that Charlotte Julianna Rossi was enhanced by HYDRA as a sentient weapon with the primary purpose being containment and control of The Winter Soldier.” 

Present Day

“Thank you.” Natasha gave a polite smile to the driver as he opened the car door for her to step out. They’d arrived at the Wynn, one of - if not the nicest hotels on the Las Vegas strip. 

She’d wasted no time after the mission was approved, spending the majority of the flight putting on full glam and finishing it off with the perfect red lip. Black cocktail dress, gold heels that caught and reflected all the Vegas lights, studded clutch purse with cash, lipstick, and a pistol. Tony had offered to book her a hotel room through his connections, but she’d waved him off. 

They’d be back in New York by sunrise. 

It didn’t take long for her to locate Charlotte. Though 8pm was early by Vegas accounts, the casino was lively. Natasha dodged several attempted pick-up attempts by drunken gamblers as she wove through the tables to her end destination: the high stakes room. A sultry smile paired with her low cut dress made quick work of gaining entry. It wasn’t unusual for beautiful women to be welcomed into the high stakes room. The only thing rich men loved more than blowing money was doing it in front of a pretty audience. Nat slipped into the intimate room, the air full of cigar smoke and jazz music. 

Seated at a small table was a pretty brunette, eyes dark with smudged shadow and lips glossy. A martini sat in front of her, completely untouched, judging by the lack of a gloss print on the rim. Charlotte tapped the table in front of her, signaling for the dealer to give her another card. She already showed a nineteen, meaning standard play said she shouldn’t hit. The crowd murmured, exchanging glances. In the betting circle was a stack of $1,000 chips that Natasha estimated to be around $20,000. 

To the shock of everyone but Natasha and Charlotte, the dealer flipped a third card to reveal a two of diamonds. Blackjack. 

Charlotte grinned, leaning back and relishing in the applause as the dealer paled and began counting out chips to pay her. Nat cracked a smile but immediately felt a jolt in her stomach. The dealer had given a nod to the guard at the front, who was now touching his earpiece and speaking softly. She couldn’t hear him over the music, but his lips read clear as day: She must be counting. 

Acting quickly, Nat stepped to the table, making herself wobbly and heavy lidded.

“Ohmygod, THERE you are,” she put a hand on Charlotte’s shoulder, who immediately tensed. “I’ve been looking for you everywhere, c’mon, the girls are waiting with the Uber,”

She squeezed Charlotte’s shoulder and briefly broke character to give an urgent look, hoping she’d pick up on the fact that the drunk persona was intentional.

“Oh, look at the time,” She said in mock surprise. “It’s been fun, don’t have too much fun without me!” Her manicured hands slid stacks of chips into her purse, a few falling to the floor with wide-eyed spectators locked onto them. 

“Get yourself something nice, Gary.” She flicked a purple $1,000 chip to the dealer who fumbled to catch it. Out of the corner of her eye, Natasha saw two men approaching them from across the casino floor. She elbowed Charlotte, who tracked her gaze and clocked them immediately. 

Waving her arm, Natasha knocked the still-full martini glass onto the felt of the Blackjack table. The gin spewed across the cards and glass splintered on contact. “Oh, jeez, I’m so sorry, I really shouldn’t have taken that last shot,” She called the apology over her shoulder into the chaos that descended over the mess, linking her arm through Charlotte’s as she fumbled to close her small bag around the massive amount of chips. 

They slid out the door under the cover of the bachelorette party walking past, slipping right into the middle of the drunken parade. 

“What’s going on?” The brunette hissed through a fake smile, keeping the facade up. 

“You were about to get busted. I thought I’d help a girl out.” Nat said through her own plastered smile, eyes darting around the room in search of their next problem. 

“I know what I’m doing.” 

“I know. That’s why I’m here in the first place.” 

Charlotte side-eyed her as they walked through the casino, still covered by the herd of pink boas and giggles. 

“Stark sent you.” 

“No.”

“I’m not stupid, I-”

“He’s the stupid one. I wanted to come in the first place, it was him who thought the testosterone brigade was the way to go. We can get into that later, but right now we’ve gotta move. There’s two coming up -”

“Yeah, six o’clock. Two more probably waiting around the corner up ahead. If we cut through the floor, we can make it to the cashier before they get to us.”

Natasha raised an eyebrow, impressed at how they jumped to the same wavelength. “You still want to cash out?”

Charlotte grinned, a wild gleam in her eye. “Duh.” 

A few minutes later, they’d steered the group of girls to the cashier and fanned them out so that each of the six windows had two girls standing in front of it. Each of them with roughly $4,000 worth of chips in their hands. They got through the exchanges in record time, leaving the bachelorettes in a flurry of drunken “iloveyou’s” with a stack of bills to show their appreciation for the help. 

“That should cover the rest of their weekend.” Nat smirked as they strode quickly to the lobby, positioning her body slightly in front of Charlotte so as not to draw attention to the thick wads of cash she was zipping into her bag. 

“I don’t know, I can blow three grand pretty quickly on my own, let alone with ten of my closest friends.” 

“I don’t think I want ten friends.” 

Charlotte matched her pace, the bag finally zipped. “I don’t even know ten people, I just thought it sounded good.” 

They reached the front doors, nodding at the valet who held the door open for them. 

“I have a driver, this way.” Natasha cocked her head to the front of the valet line, full of sports cars and sleek SUVs. Glancing over her shoulder at the casino, the men seemed to have lost them in the crowd. Charlotte weighed her options quickly, deciding that taking a getaway car with the Avenger was preferable to whatever awaited her if she stayed.

They slid into the backseat of the black sedan, breathing quickly from adrenaline. 

“You’re back so soon, Ms. Romanoff.” The driver called from the front seat. 

“It was getting stale, figured I could find something more fun.” 

The driver’s eyes crinkled in a knowing smile in the rearview mirror. Charlotte had a feeling he knew much more than he should, choosing to live in ignorance. 

“You hungry?” the redhead asked nonchalantly. 

“Starving.” 

_________________

The duo sat in a secluded corner booth of a dark bar. The remnants of two burgers sat strewn across the plates, a few leftover fries getting cold. Natasha signaled to the bartender for another round of martinis, extra dirty. 

“Who knew the best burgers in Vegas would come from a strip club?” Charlotte downed the remnants of her drink to make room for the new one. 

“Hey, I’m no stranger to Vegas.” 

“So I can tell.” She shifted to sit up straighter. “Do you wanna get into your sales pitch now, or should we wait for the drinks?”

Natasha remained casual, leaning against the pristine leather of the booth. “There’s no sales pitch. Just an offer. Take it or leave it.” 

“And the offer is…?” 

“Come with me. Back to New York. Live at the compound. Be around people like you.”

Charlotte shook her head. “There are no people like me.” 

“Spare me the pity party bullshit.” Nat leaned in. “I don’t know the specifics of your story, but I know enough to tell you that we are like you.”

Taken aback by her forcefulness, the brunette narrowed her eyes. 

“Enhanced individual? Pretty much all of us. Dark, twisty past? We’ve got ‘em. Done things we aren’t proud of? Goes without saying. No friends, no family? We have a very dysfunctional Thanksgiving of our own.” She gave a small smile. “Experimented on, dehumanized, controlled, stripped of autonomy? Specifically by one particular Nazi rogue science division?” Natasha changed her tone, speaking gently. “One of my very best friends knows a little something about that, too.” 

Charlotte tensed, eyes glazed as she stared into the dark room in front of them. “James Barnes.” It wasn’t a question. 

“We call him Bucky.” 

Chewing her lower lip, Charlotte seemed lost in her thoughts. A cocktail waitress interrupted with two fresh drinks, setting them down with a smile. Eyes still defocused, she reached out to sip the drink slowly. 

“I don’t think it’s smart.” 

“Why?” Natasha took a sip of her own. “There’s nowhere safer for you. The Compound is literally the most secure place on Earth, except maybe Wakanda, and before you say you’re worried about hurting someone there - don’t. We live with Dr. Banner, who you probably know as the Hulk. I’m sure you’re a force to be reckoned with, but I can assure you that even on your worst day you wouldn’t be putting us at risk.”

She spun the wooden stick adorned with olives between her fingers, thinking. “I don’t want to be an Avengers. I’m not a hero. I don’t want to fight.” 

“Then don’t.” Natasha shrugged. “I’m not a military recruiter. I just remember what it was like to be alone, scared. Unsure where to go or who to trust. I’m offering you a home and a group of people you can count on. Anything else is up to you.” 

Charlotte smirked. “You’re much better at this than the last three.” 

“Story of my life.” She rolled her eyes.

“So, what would happen if I said yes? Hypothetically.” 

“Well, hypothetically, I have a jet waiting at the private airfield. We’d go to whichever hotel you’re renting the penthouse out of, get your stuff, and fly back tonight.” 

“Why do you assume I’m renting out a penthouse?” 

Natasha grinned, biting an olive off the stick. “It’s what I would do.” 

Narrowing her eyes, Charlotte cocked her jaw. “I’m at the Cosmo.”

“Great choice.” She held her martini up, signaling for a toast. “How about this, we go out tonight. Do Vegas right. Do it big. If you have fun, you come back with me and try living with us. If you don’t have a good time, I’ll accept that I’m no better than the guys and go back on my own. We won’t bug you anymore, but the offer will always stand.”

“You know, a bet predicated on having fun in Las Vegas seems like a very unfair advantage.” She raised her own glass.

“I’ve never been much of a gambler.” 

“That makes one of us.” Charlotte grinned. “You’re on.” 

_________________

It was just after 4:00am when their dutiful driver opened the door on the tarmac. Heels in hand, two sets of bare feet walked up the steps into the sleek jet, Stark Industries emblazoned on the side. 

“I still can’t believe they kicked us out.” Charlotte rubbed her temples as she sunk into the white leather seat. 

“Well they don’t really encourage doing backflips off of the craps table.” Natasha sat down across from her. 

“Here I thought Vegas was the one place where anything goes.” She dropped her purse on the table in front of them, the thud echoing in the empty cabin. “At least we made out alright.” 

“I expect a cut for saving your ass.” 

“I’ll consider it.” 

“You like pancakes?” Natasha punched a few buttons on a screen embedded in the wall.

“Um, who doesn’t?” 

Grinning, the redhead slid her feet onto the seat, getting comfortable. “They’ll be ready in fifteen. Probably best if we get something in our stomachs besides tequila.”

“If I knew you were offering private jets and pancakes at four in the morning, I might have been an easier sell.” 

“What are you talking about? You hardly put up a fight.” She winked. 

“Whatever, you won fair and square. I’m just holding up my end of the deal.” Charlotte tucked her knees under her, relaxing into the chair as the plane ascended.

“We’ve got a couple hours back to New York. Eat, rest, and we’ll be there before you know it. If you aren’t up for meeting people when we land, I’ll sneak you to your room. You can socialize when you’re not coming off of an all-night bender.” 

“What, you don’t think I’d make a good first impression right now?” She joked, fully aware of her smeared eye makeup and tousled hair. 

“Au contraire, I think you’d make too good of an impression. I’m just trying to give the guys a fighting chance here.”

Giggles subsiding, Charlotte looked out the window at the pinpricks of light shrinking beneath them. The smell of pancakes and overly sweet syrup filled the air as a stewardess wheeled the food out towards them. 

“Natasha?” 

“Hm?”

“I’m glad you came.” 

She smiled, warmth extending to her eyes. 

“Me too.”  

[tossawary]

I usually grab my AO3 stats for my own personal record-keeping and celebration of achievements on December 31st / January 1st (end of the year) and on August 19th (the day I first started posting), but I was out of town this year on AUG 19 and kept putting it off. (I feel like I've been so, so spacey and busy this year.) So, I'm posting them now! What's a month between me and my blog?

Since my last check-in, I wrote and posted... "Stepping Up" (90,263 words), "First Contact" (7,166 words), and "if words could make wishes" (31,424 words). The "Scum Villain Stories" series is now at 1,216,156 words and 24 fics, which will make "Servant to a Different King" lucky number 25, it seems.

I don't write for the stats and don't track them outside of these little "hey, I should acknowledge the passage of time so it doesn't fall into one big blur" posts, but I think it's neat to take them and hold them up against both specific (SVSSS) and general fandom preferences. (Which fics attract clicks in which fandoms? Why? Why not? It's fun to speculate wildly and possibly wrongly.)

Hm, I really should write more rarepairs so I can broaden and continue my amateur, extremely biased, essentially useless data analysis of these things... (joking) or so I'll say to defend my decision to forcibly drag everyone onto an unusual rarepair ship with me someday (intended humorously, but I am seriously interested in exploring some rare pairings for their own sake). I'll be like a reverse-kraken. Instead of monstrously dragging sailors off the ship and into the depths of the sea, I'll be scooping innocent beach-goers from their swimming and putting them on my boat.

User Subscriptions: 1,924 Kudos: 59,584 Comment Threads: 13,690 Bookmarks: 21,036 Subscriptions: 7,573 Word Count: 1,223,304 Hits: 802,844

pride is not the word I'm looking for (408,395 words) Subscriptions: 1,215 Hits: 230,634 Kudos: 6,410 Comment Threads: 4,439 Bookmarks: 3,165

A Child Once (100,736 words) Subscriptions: 1,214 Hits: 109,140 Kudos: 6,892 Comment Threads: 1,447 Bookmarks: 2,650

Stepping Up (90,263 words) Subscriptions: 1,042 Hits: 61,069 Kudos: 3,987 Comment Threads: 1,516 Bookmarks: 1,704

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every haircut I've ever had has been a bad haircut (5,689 words) Subscriptions: 33 Hits: 16,013 Kudos: 2,572 Comment Threads: 87 Bookmarks: 540

anxiety and caffeine are having a cockfight in my brain (1,772 words) Subscriptions: 32 Hits: 14,554 Kudos: 2,750 Comment Threads: 71 Bookmarks: 485

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ever wonder if the person in the puddle is real (6,842 words) Subscriptions: 49 Hits: 12,559 Kudos: 1,552 Comment Threads: 53 Bookmarks: 166

this point of pale light (18,435 words) Subscriptions: 27 Hits: 9,868 Kudos: 838 Comment Threads: 61 Bookmarks: 333

the ability to remain sober and gracious (4,383 words) Subscriptions: 11 Hits: 7,346 Kudos: 1,055 Comment Threads: 33 Bookmarks: 199

you had me at hello (5,156 words) Subscriptions: 53 Hits: 7,055 Kudos: 985 Comment Threads: 49 Bookmarks: 73

System Icons (2,701 words) Subscriptions: 38 Hits: 6,665 Kudos: 411 Comment Threads: 25 Bookmarks: 253

Absolutely Ineffable (10,058 words) Subscriptions: 31 Hits: 6,633 Kudos: 906 Comment Threads: 48 Bookmarks: 269

The Red Cabinet (7,536 words) Subscriptions: 35 Hits: 5,499 Kudos: 767 Comment Threads: 36 Bookmarks: 165

but that’s fine because I like a hot mess (3,408 words) Subscriptions: 4 Hits: 3,332 Kudos: 521 Comment Threads: 22 Bookmarks: 135

Scum Villain Relationship & AU Request Stickers 2021 (2,345 words) Subscriptions: 8 Hits: 2,427 Kudos: 245 Comment Threads: 14 Bookmarks: 19

Scum Villain Valentine's Day Cards 2021 (578 words) Subscriptions: 4 Hits: 2,388 Kudos: 352 Comment Threads: 26 Bookmarks: 37

First Contact (7,166 words) Subscriptions: 34 Hits: 2,093 Kudos: 446 Comment Threads: 50 Bookmarks: 70

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[sleuth2k7]

Visualizing the Building Theory using BBC Sherlock

@amateur-deductions recently did a post on the Building Theory. In his words:

[The Building Theory] serves as a wonderful way to illustrate how much a deduction is a progressive process, with multiple little steps between observations and conclusions. It's also an amazing tool to analyze other people's deductions and break them down in a way that allows you to map out their trains of thought and learn from them

He provides an excellent explanation of how the theory works: basically, you think of the process of deducing as constructing a building, with observations and subsequent deductions representing bricks that are stacked on top of one another, building up to more complex deductions based on those original observations & deductions.

I’ve always liked this theory because it makes the process of deduction more tangible and visual, which helps me learn, and I know others like to use visuals to learn too.

I’ve mapped out deductions from BBC Sherlock before, so I thought sharing that here would help provide a visual supplement to @amateur-deductions​‘ work.

When Sherlock and John first meet, Sherlock asks: “Afghanistan or Iraq?”

You can watch the scene where he asks that here. And the scene where he explains how he got to that here.

While the show provides a decent verbal breakdown of how Sherlock got to that question, we can also visualize his process like this:

blue: observations // green: deductions made from observations // pink: deductions made from prior deductions & observations (level 1) // yellow: deductions made from prior deductions (level 2)

As you can see, Sherlock uses his initial observations about John to make deductions, and then uses those deductions to make additional deductions. All of this culminates in him asking John “Afghanistan or Iraq?”

Let’s break down this process a bit. We can think of this building as being made up of a bottom floor, and then two supporting sides that work together to build onto that bottom floor and also support the roof placed on top. 

First, the bottom floor:

When John enters the room, Sherlock looks up at him and makes four observations about him, which he uses to make two deductions.

1. stance + haircut = military

** Sherlock knows that these observations = military from knowledge he has about the appearance/behavior of people in the military.

2. looks around the room + says “bit different from my day” = medically trained at Bart’s Hospital

** Here Sherlock uses a combination of knowledge and logic. He knows that Bart’s Hospital is a well-known training hospital and if John is familiar with the lab that the pair are standing in (as opposed to a patient room), he must have been a student there.

Sherlock then takes those two deductions and combines them to create another: military + medically trained = army doctor. That deduction forms the base of the rest of the building.

Next, there are two supporting sides. Let’s call them the “limp” side and “tan” side, as those are the two observations that form the base of each.

First, the limp:

Sherlock begins with several observations: 

1. has a limp and uses a cane.

2. does not ask for a chair to sit in.

** Knowledge: Sherlock knows that people with limps may look for or ask for somewhere to sit.

From this, Sherlock deduces that John:

1. forgets he has the limp.

2. Why? Because the limp is psychosomatic.

** Knowledge: Sherlock knows about psychosomatic injuries.

3. Which means that trauma caused the limp.

Second, the tan:

Again, Sherlock begins with two observations, and each have their own subsequent deduction.

1. has a tan. = was recently in a sunny place.

** Knowledge: Sherlock knows that people get a tan from being in the sun, and that tans fade over time.

2. only has a tan on his hands and face. = was in a sunny place while wearing long sleeves, so he was not on vacation or sunbathing, but was on business.

** Knowledge: Sherlock knows that when people go on vacation to a sunny location, it is not typical to wear long sleeves or professional clothing but rather dress casual (shorts and a t-shirt, swimsuits, etc.).

Here is where Sherlock’s process culminates into the question. Relying on the deduction that John is an army doctor, and combining that deduction with these two new deductions (1) has a limp from trauma, and (2) was recently in a sunny place for business/work, Sherlock makes this final deduction: John is an army doctor who was recently in a war zone near the tropics. 

He cannot go further than this though, as there are a few locations that fit that description. So, Sherlock engages in order to get the information he needs: “Afghanistan or Iraq?”

~

I hope this provided a helpful visual example of the Building Theory - if anybody has any questions or wants me to go into more detail on any aspect of this example, please ask!

[fallinfl0wers]

thinking about xiao, who would be the last person on teyvat to care about your appearance.

don't get me wrong, he adores you, you're pretty much his biggest, and sometimes only, reason to live.

but he, out of all the characters in genshin, is the only one i can see with absolutely zero defined preferences. if anyone asked him, whether on his past or his present, about what traits he found desirable in a person, he would have no answer.

even if people say that personality is all that matters, everyone always looks at the one they find most attractive first.

xiao's case isn't quite like that.

where others, if speaking honestly, would mention specific ranges of height, build, hair colors, texture, skin colors and whatnot- like a super tall, muscular man with a well-kept beard, or a slender, elegant-looking man who wears suits, or a delicate and petite woman with big doe eyes and the longest, straighter hair possible, or a tall, well-endowed lady with a tiny waist and a piercing, alluring gaze, among an infinite number of other combinations, xiao would only tilt his head in disconcert.

was he supposed to think of any of those traits as attractive?

because to xiao, in a way, everyone looks the same.

be it humans, other adepti or the archons, xiao thinks nothing about any of their appearances.

although if you caught him people-watching during his free time or patrols, you could think he's harshly judging everyone's looks and demeanor from his unwavering, hawk-like gaze.

in truth, he takes in apperances all at once, in a fraction of a second.

woman of short hair. intact foreign green dress, according to the direction she's coming from she must be entering liyue from sumeru. no recent wounds in sight, her face is flushed from the heating sun. there is no trouble on this road. move on.

lanky man gasping for air as he reaches the peak of a mountain, adventurer's typical uniform. green eyes, black hair. the gloves on his hands ripped from climbing on stone, and his hands have minor scratches. the bandage on his arm is the work of an amateur but would've done the trick to stop bleeding. the cloth isn't soaked in blood, but he can make out the distinctive shape the blade of an arrow makes when nearly piercing flesh. whatever happened, this area is safe. send a minor breeze his way to lead him to a safe path.

the appearances of the people he sees every day are little clues that let him know of any immediate threat to the lands. he's not staring hard at that child because his haircut looks silly, but because for a second he saw a ghost following him. he's not staring at that woman with dulled out eyes because he finds her hot, but because he's feeling the beginnings of the effects of a karmic curse poisoning her soul.

xiao has no preferences, all he sees in people's apperances are traces of what they do and where they come from- he doesn't associate any specific trait of the human body to 'beautiful' or 'ugly'.

peace is beautiful. war is ugly. those are his only definitions.

it's only after you've spent long with him, letting him join you while you fulfill your duties in the city or just to take a stroll, that he starts to understand the concept of beauty as seen by human society.

differents sets of traits are deemed attractive to a majority and each individual will have a different set of traits they deem attractive- beauty is, therefore, in the eye of the beholder no matter how many times a standard is pushed as the only one.

he doesn't understand.

appearances will fade, that perfect and smooth skin will one day turn into fragile wrinkles, that tattoo won't look the same when enough time has passed, that hair will become frail and fall, humans won't look the same forever, there is no use in making such a big deal out of their appearances to the point of feeling miserable about it.

xiao doesn't find any particular trait as attractive.

until you.

due to his nature, he's not going to be immediately mesmerized by your looks, whether you seem overweight or like you have god-like symmetrical proportions everywhere, whether you're tall or average or tiny, none of that matters when he meets you or when he falls for you.

one would think an adeptus like himself would have high standards, but what makes him fall is something as painfully simple as honest, pure understanding and care.

be understanding to him, care for him, hold him on cold and dreary nights, smile for him, share little moments of joy with him, help him carry the weight of his constant grief, let him care for you, let him protect you, and protect his fragile heart.

he will fall for you.

and then, and only then, will he start associating physical traits to the concept of beauty.

beauty is you. you are beauty.

at least to xiao, that is the only logical conclusion.

whether you're confident on your looks or not, to him, it is that simple.

beauty is peace. beauty is you, and all that makes you, you, is beautiful.