#am in constant pain
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this bitch got botox before the age of twenty
#i got botox last week#found out i have a tmj disorder#am in constant pain#thats why i havent been on tumblr like at all#i cant open my mouth all the way anymore :l#vent
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This is probably my nichest kink but like imagine being pregnant. Imagine getting pregnant. Being bred full of cum day in and day out till it takes and then some just for good measure. Imagine being kept pregnant. You're all plump and round and soft and your tits are full of milk and you're so dumb now but it's socially acceptable coz 'pregnancy brain lol'. And you're so consistently, so insatiably horny. And sensitive. You can have a train run on your pussy, ass and mouth and that clit is still tingling.
Imagine in a fantasy world being cursed with perpetual pregnancy. You're so soft and sensitive and pliant and just easy pickings. Just being taken care of and fucked all day every day. Tits full of milk hanging low, sometimes milked like a cow in heat, sometimes in public as a show people pay to watch. Sometimes having those big soft milky tits tied up so you can't even leak and just get fuller and bigger till it hurts and you have to beg to be milked like a cow. Dumb as one too. Pussy constantly drip drip dripping. The perfect toy.
#the more fertile I am the more my brain tells me to get bred proper#just tied down and bred till it takes#pregnancy#tw pregnancy#pregnancy kink#milky t1ts#m1lking#big t1ts#t1tties#t1t torture#huc0w#hucow fantasy#want plsss#pls pls pls#i love being useful 🥰💕#bimbo doll#pleaseeeeeeeee#d@ddy#bd/sm kink#bd/sm community#bd/sm blog#preggo kink#perpetual pregnancy#constant preg#big no to the idea of being pregnant irl but like please make me pregnant and KEEP me like that#no baby anywhere btw just an empty womb & all the pregnancy symptoms and effects otherwise including hormones and physicality and labor pain
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hi hello, who here gives really good back massages?
#ghost queen#please rub me#i am in constant pain & deserve a little treat#queer#goth sex worker#femme for EVERYONE#i also need shoulder kisses thanks#genderfluid#pale as holy fuck#pierced to shit#little creep#me
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rewatched panty n stocking instead of doing stats hw and i wanted to try redrawing skk in the artstyle
#i love geometric art styles sm they always look so sharp and clean cut its so aesthetically pleasing#but as you can tell idk how to replicate it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i am in constant pain#ALSO I FORGOT THE HEIGHT DIFFERENCE IK IK SHHHHH JUST SHUHSH ENJOY TALL CHUUYA (or short dazai idc)#bungou stray dogs#bungo stray dogs#bsd#dazai osamu#osamu dazai#nakahara chuuya#chuuya nakahara#soukoku#skk#lotus draws
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Actually, I hope Jiaoqiu stays blind (at least for a couple years in our time) and just bullies the Xianzhou alliance into inventing disability aids and treating disabled people better
#hsr#honkai star rail#hsr spoilers#jiaoqiu#i want to make it very clear that this is not a Jiaoqiu hate post#i am simply a disabled gal (chronic pain + shit eyesight + neurodivergent) who wants more disabled characters in the game#and with blindness in particular- that rant from the sanctus medicus lady really stuck with me#as did the treatment of the kid#and curing blindness irl is absolutely something that would be great and i think its fine to explore in game too#but its frustrating to watch the game act like thats the only way blind people can live their lives without constant suffering#especially in such a futuristic setting#like if you got space travel i think you can also make cains and railings and audio messages and braille#and I'm just hoping thats an intentional flaw of the xianzhou and not just writers ableism leaking through#with hsr's recent track record of disabled characters though i am learning towards believing its probably the former#I'm just saying that if mail delivering robots are a regular thing i dont see why other forms of robot assistants couldn't
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Curly Mouthwashing I dislike you but I could never hate you.
Mouthwashing has me by the throat rn shoutout to ADHD and hyperfixations
The only truly innocent person on board is Anya, Daisuke I love you dude but I feel like you could’ve helped Anya and just kinda assumed someone else was gonna do it. Swansea, you kinda redeemed yourself but not enough.
Jimmy deserves to live in horse purgatory forever
#mouthwashing#curly mouthwashing#anya mouthwashing#daisuke mouthwashing#swansea mouthwashing#jimmy mouthwashing#Anya deserves better#Daisuke was tragic#Jimmy is a piece of fucking mosquito shit#genuinely one of the best horror games recently#Curly I’m sorry it went down like that#Jimmy should be in your place#I personally do not believe in the Jimly toxic yaoi Headcanon#I think they’re just a fucked up brotherly bond tbh#important context for the last two I am a gay man and my most popular post is literally abt billford#I also don’t ship anyone on the crew together I don’t think it makes too much sense in the context of the game#Daisuke is too young#Anya probably does not want a relationship at all atp#Swansea has been married and seems like a grumpy divorcee who doesn’t want to do love again#Curly is non-verbal as well as in constant extreme pain and probably just wants a kiss from Lady Death#and Jimmy is an asshole who deserves nothing close to happiness#my art
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Why am I so addicted to tragic pairings 😭 It's a special kind of torture and I am living for it
They do nothing but hurt me in the worst ways possible but still I crave for more
#i just delved into obikin after years of seeing them around#and all i can say is godDAMN#obikin#also#grindeldore#thilbo#bagginshield#merthur#lams#valvert#eiji x ash#asheiji#patrochilles#i am in constant pain
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Fuck it twinkifies your Twi and untwinkify your Wars
#linked universe#linkeduniverse#lu twilight#lu warriors#lu memes#I was in constant pain while drawing this#it hurt to do this#with all that said#I am not sorry
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experiencing the horrors . save me lil guy from comic book. lil guy from comic book PLEASE
#rimi talks#genuinely kind of sad/upset i wont be able to do more than 1 MAYBE 2 fics for superfam week#bc this whole week and last week have been taken up by health bullshit and all i want ot do is sleep#i had plans. i had outlines. unfortunately i also had my stupid body betray me and now here we are :(#i had a doctors appt yesterday. and the day before. and i have one monday and one more that i haven't scheduled yet#i am. so tired y'all#and im extra tired of being in pain all the time. i have been in constant pain since wednesday at noon#it's a little funny i was texting my friend abt steel '94 and there is a timestamp visible for when i stopped responding#bc i was suddenly in too much pain to put words in order or even sit up straight at my laptop lmao#and luckily it HAS gone down like im not in so much pain i genuinely can't breathe anymore. no longer feel like im in danger of passing out#but i do still feel pretty damn bad and im so tired of it aouhghuhgghghhhhhhhhhh#comic book man save me (he can't bc i can't even fuckign write?? what's the POINT)
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i got diagnosed with Cervical spondylotic radiculopathy today which is causing severe nerve pain in my neck but the annoying part is that it spreads down to my shoulder and right arm/hand which means i will be less able to draw :( it will take a few weeks to improve (maybe months idk) but hopefully get better (basically im hoping it wont get worse bc i really dont want to have to get surgery)
#maxmeows#guy who is in constant pain yippeee!#my ribs still hurt a lot btw and that started 9 months ago#this isnt even counting the EDS pain#ermmmmmmm#i may be losing it but fuck it we ball#life goes on i refuse to die yet#oh also i have scoliosis because i am cool like that
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im being so so brave but also i am gripping you by the shoulders and leaning in and letting you know i am so tired of being brave
#my job has invented new and even more agonizing ways to make itself stressful to endure#and that isn't even counting the fact that i've now seriously fucked up my wrist transporting 30lb boxes up and down stairs#or the fact that i occasionally get piercing shoulder pains if i'm not super careful about how i use the hand truck#or the fact that whenever i come home on mondays my entire lower body is so sore that i can't move beyond a weak shuffle#it's the fact that my boss has no sense of organization#so my supervisor and i are basically salvaging or starting from scratch every week#it's the fact that some of our clients are asking for things we're not even contracted to provide#like access to our company materials or additional resources outside of our scheduled bookings#and that there's this constant looming threat of 'ohhh don't be bad at your job!! or else we'll lose our contract with these people!!'#but 'bad at your job' in this case means 'not bending over backwards to accommodate the least accommodating circumstances possible'#like 'hey you need to lead this training exercise meant for 20 people except actually you only have 4 people'#'and actually none of them are familiar with the prerequisites for this training or have any experience with the skills'#'and also none of them want to be there and half of them just Don't Do These Things as a rule'#'and if you try to make them do anything they don't want to do (even if it's literally the point of the training) they Will leave'#'and then we will no longer have enough clients to pay you'#like. what am i doing. this company was not designed to work with this format. we're not an arts and crafts group or a club meeting#hi so i wrote this post before starting weekend work prep#it has been 3 hours now#im still not done#i haven't eaten and my wrist hurts so bad#i need to.................. take a break................................
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when I took a month off work I was lowkey worried I'd come back and find everyone had been fine without me and I wasn't needed at all (because being terrible at every previous job I've had did some ✨damage✨ to my self confidence)
but that is not what happened
I have never encountered someone so fucking happy to see me as my boss' wife was on my first day back, her face lit up like it was christmas, she was practically jumping for joy because now that I'm back she doesn't have to do the ops team's fucking timesheets anymore
I have been told by one of the ops guys that my leave of absence had caused a genuine rift in the boss' marriage because his wife hated doing my job so much they were actively fighting about it
to be clear, his wife is lovely, she doesn't usually throw a shit fit about just anything, it was just that my job is just so fucking annoying that she hated every second of it, and that was the most validating shit I have ever experienced in my LIFE
and the reason she was pissed off at my boss/her husband about it is because he's too soft on his crew and doesn't make them all report their hours for the week
which, as you can imagine, makes building their timesheets extremely fucking difficult
it basically turns the whole process into a puzzle that I have to solve using roughly three different sources of information, one of which is the boss himself who isn't always easy to get ahold of when he's on a site
this puzzle is made even more difficult by the fact that a glitch in our form system keeps messing up the dates on the timecards, so I have to cross reference the time cards from the two (2) ops team members, who actually DO fill out their forms, with the roster, but my boss often changes the roster at the last minute without telling me or noting it down, so then I have to cross reference with the reports they have to submit for certain ongoing jobs because they'll have correct dates and also a list of who was present (if they were doing one off smalltime jobs that week I'll have no physical records and will rely entirely on the boss' memory to confirm dates and staff numbers, unless I can get ahold of one of the ops team members themselves and there's only one who will reliably communicate with me but only when he's not currently on a site)
I tried to explain this process to boss' wife before I left and, looking horrified, she asked me 'is there no way to streamline this?' I replied 'this is streamlined'
as far as I'm aware, as long as I've worked there, there has only been a handful of times people were paid incorrectly, and it was because I was not given correct information by the boss, in the time I was gone, his wife told me that she had incorrectly logged several pays because of this broken ass system
so, as you could imagine, my ego is through the fucking roof right now, I am GOOD at this bullshit job, I took an impossible system and made it work, I am playing on hard mode and killing it, in a field I had zero experience in before taking this job other than a natural inclination for organising and scheduling
and to be clear, I love this job, the boss is too soft on his staff but he's a good guy, he makes us all feel valued and appreciated, he paid me above my award rate, he's absurdly accommodating, and I have an insane amount of freedom to do what I want with company files
I may be working with a bullshit system but I can take naps in the office whenever I want and tell my boss off when he's being too soft (one time his wife literally started clapping when I told him off for sending clients their reports before they'd paid for them) and I get to control when I work, and whether I work from home or the office (which is GREAT when my back flares up)
I might not get many hours (only 16 hours per week) because the company is so small and I run out of things to do because I've streamlined everything (boss literally called me TOO EFFICIENT), but he'll give me those 16 even if I spend half of it playing solitaire and watching youtube
so just, yeah, it feels so good to be confident in my work, to feel valued and appreciated and like I'm actually successful at something after being handed dud jobs for years that I wasn't cut out for, and now knowing that what I'm doing is actually genuinely hard but I've been doing it anyway without fail, makes me feel good!
so tldr; taking a month off work taught me I have phenomenal job security because if my boss ever fires me his wife might actually fucking kill him
#lula's life#I have genuinely hit a point in my life I never thought I'd reach#I'm happy with my job#I'm not in constant pain#and I am living very comfortably with a friend I love dearly#I don't make a lot of money and still rely on government benefits but that's okay because I make enough to be comfortable#life is actually good I can't believe I made it
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UUGHH I JUST HAD THE WORST DAY IM SO ANGRY AND FRUSTRATED GRRRR !!!!! goes to draw my best friend @jumjum-crafts 's guy to blow off steam
★ version without text + reference image under cut :
★ song : "STATIC ELECTRICITY HUMAN – Computer Flavor" – kairikibear
#before you ask . dear jummy – yes . this was what the ask i sent you the other day was alluding to#i have a very complicated relationship with your colin . but you should be aware of the fact that seeing him invokes intense primitive –#– feelings within me . and one cannot decipher whether they are positive or negative#in any case#JDHDHDJRJRHT I HATE MY LIFE#I HATE THIS SHIT#I WANT TO BE DEAD#there's so much stuff happening every day and im constantly overwhelmed and tired and it's so hard to get out of bed and i don't even want –#– to wake up in the morning . every day just gets worse than the last#everyone around me is doing so much . living their life to the fullest . making huge future and career decisions and planning way ahead#and what am i doing ?#im laying in bed . crying because today was just too much to bear . trying to gain an ounce of happiness by ripping out another piece of –#– my soul to hand out to someone i admire#is this what it's going to be like forever ? bleak nothingness ? constant desolation ?#...#im gonna go to bed#dhmis#dhmis art#dhmis colin#colin the computer#fanart#fanart for a friend#vocaloid#vocaloid inspired#i actually had a lot of fun with this . even if the background was the biggest pain i ever had the pleasure of drawing#this entire song makes me feel comfortable#i might make something for someone else#and im debating if im actually gonna be doing a halloween drawing in the first place . at least one that will be on time with the holiday#whatever#please ignore me
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My weirdest headcanon is that at the end of 4th year Remus bites his leg off during a transformation. It's the first moon after his mum's funeral so he's extra distressed and the wolf isn't having it. Pomfrey is terrified when she finds him all mangled and cold from blood loss, and it's the first time James, Peter and Sirius aren't allowed to see him right away. Pomfrey magically sews his leg back together, of course, but like all his werewolf injuries it doesn't heal quite right. Now Remus has to hide his newfound limp to avoid suspicion. It makes Severus question him even more than before though, especially with Professors making up new excuses for Remus' absence after that since, you know, his mum's illness can't be a reason anymore. It also makes James, Peter and Sirius work faster on their animagi master plan cuz "bloody hell he chewed off his leg!"
#it's a win-win for all subplots#not for remus tho#all my hcs for him just add to canon suffering#i'm so sorry my dude#initially wanted him to have a full-on amputation#with a prosthetic leg#then remembered they're wizards#big yikes#post-hogwarts he uses aids on occasion#when all the eyes aren't on him anymore#and more regularly with age#tho not during poa obviously#so in 1993-94 he's extra miserable#just. constant. pain#emotional and physical#again i am so sorry#remus lupin#i love him i promise#poppy pomfrey#james potter#peter pettigrew#sirius black#severus snape#the marauders#marauders#marauders era#marauders headcanon#why tf are there so many tags for those guys#smh
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sometimes looking at like Self Help Strategies lists for the symptoms I'm having is always just like:
thing that I already do
thing I have tried 10 times
thing I already do
thing that I don't have the money to do
thing I already do
thing I've been doing since I was 10yrs old to no avail
thing that is impossible given my situation
thing that doesn't apply to me
thing that I already do
thing I have already tried
hrmm, oh wait, maybe finally- OH, yeah.. okay. thing that I already do but it was just phrased slightly differently
thing I have already done
#I think maybe productivity tips help less if the reason you're unproductive is partially like.. physcial health and other extenral things#out of your control. rather than just like having trouble paying attention or spending too much time on tiktok or whatever#all the strategic to do lists in the world are not going to somehow prevent me from waking up with a debilitating migraine or whatever#or having external stressors or lacking resources and connections or other Productivity Essentials etc.#especially many tips involve stuff like 'cut off from social media' since thats the modern day time waster for so many poeple#and it's like.. lol.. i can hardly even maintain a blog even thuogh i actively WANT TO DO SO. 'shut off your smart phone!' already#done babey i fucking hate smart phones i shall never use an app unless i am forced to. 'delete tiktok' yep. already covered. tiktok and#all of those thinsg are my enemies. 'save money by cancelling some of your services' cool. already ahead of you.#who the fuck is out here paying for like 10 different subscription services. pirated videos uploaded to google drive and youtube to mp3#my beloved. etc. etc. and so on. 'socialize less' .........LOL.. if only you knew.. mr.writer of the article. i can barely muster#talking to friends more than once a month and even less if I'm actively sick (often occurence) etc. etc. ... hewoo#I think maybe instead of generic productivity tips I need more like.. how to refocus and be productive anyway even if you have a headache#or are nauseous or etc. Not that those are always things to ignore. and of course you should let your body rest and etc. But plenty of peop#e have mild physical symptoms and just work through them. Ithink something about the way my body/mind is SOO hyper attuned to all#sensory information just makes it like... constantly 'GRR well I cant focus on WRITING right now because my lef#t ear feels weird and my socks are too itchy and my back has a strange pressure and I'm vaguely warm and my eye feels some ssort of#way it doesnt normally feel and I'm hyperaware of my breathing and also nauseous for no reason' and like half of those things I#think '''normal''' people wouldnt even notice or at least would be able to just live through. but for me it's like.. nealry impossible to i#gnore and soooo distracting always. like 'wahh.. nooo we can't draw or get anything done.. my legs feel slightly heavy or something!!'#like............. ok......... who cares. thats not even a PAIN sensation it's just something weird. but it's just like.. NO. constant#mental alerts about the 'heaviness' of your legs be upon ye. Though Imean like.. yes.. 70% of the time I am in genuine pain#or having some sort of actual ailment with trackable physical symptoms. but sometimes it's just like... we could totally be working right#now and ignoring this silly thing but my brain is fixated on it for no reason uncontrollably. etc. etc. I guess it's the same way that like#most people can go to a grocery store without the whole experience being so overwhelming and so much stuff going on at once#that they have to rest afterwards but like.. in my own HOME doing NOTHING i feel like I should be able to not get overwhelmed lol. ANYWAY#Rolling my bastard little rock up a dumbass hill and so on and so forth
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Ahsoka Tano/ Barris Offee
Celebrating 6 months of the Star Wars Sapphics Server
Here I am on my people who were failed by the Jedi Order kick. Let me present you more pain.
AO3
Go check out the other works made for this celebration Six Months of Star Wars Sapphics collection
#ahsoka tano#barriss offee#Ahsoka/Barriss#star wars clone wars#clone wars#I am in pain when I think about both of them#and what could’ve been#if you know the Jedi weren’t such assholes all the time#insert my constant rambling about the order#anyway#I leave you with pain#and i hope you’re doing well#because I am not#carlav.art-blogs#swsbirthday
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