#am i still gonna miss knowing i can open it and it'll work? a lot yea

[petrolwave]

thanks for everything eshop <3

also: eshop and hshop are friends to me i will NOT pit them against each other

(also also: don't forget to get pokemon bank and transporter! this'll probably only work for next few hours but i'll put it in anyway)

[aohisworld]

BROKEN CD

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ when the world picks on Aohi, she crumbles gently, and Ri-ki’s there to put her back together, piece by piece.

ʚɞ ⁺˖ ⸝⸝ nishimura ri-ki x addedmember!oc. mentions of poly!ot7 x addedmember!oc, contains. cringe writing, angst (as always).

| : ̗̀➛ MINTIE’s NOTES: a little self-indulgent because I feel like poopoo honestly 😞 I apologize if this mini- drabble? fic? Is short, I really barely have any time to write to my pieces, and I can only offer you guys these small little fics 😭

| : ̗̀➛ WARNING! How I write ENHYPEN is not meant to portray the idols irl, this is my au and I write this for fun.

✧. ┊    No one’s a stranger to the familiar feeling of coming back down from a successful peak, the sudden feeling of clouded thoughts or the slow burn-out of your sociality or productivity being a familiar dull sting to your body and mind.

And sometimes you can’t understand just why you have to burn out, and with that comes along frustrations, anger, the tantrums inside your mind when nothing goes your way when you’ve already had a bad day.

Aohi’s world dulls to grey for a little while, the exhausting schedule and the upcoming recording for memorabilia took a lot out of her.

All she wanted was to sleep, maybe for a week straight, if she could, she’d hibernate like a bear. Aohi knows she can’t though, engenes would miss her too much.

Despite her frustrations with the slightly wrong tones or the wrong words being sung out, she trudges on, continuing to work, to rewrite, to practice.

She’s repaid by the loss of her voice, and recording’s been pulled back a week later due to the sudden situation. Aohi sits in her seat speechless when her manager explains it on the way to the studio.

“But then, why am I going if I’m being put on vocal rest?” Aohi’s voice croaks out. In a comical way, she sounded like a Justin Bieber when he was in his teens, cracking and going airy from time to time.

“I didn’t want you to come in either, but the studio was insistent on it,” Aohi groans, despite how hurtful it was on her throat. ��Trust me, I tried to fight for a day off, all I could do was move your session to a later time tomorrow.”

“I can’t even do anything at the studio, the whole point of a vocal rest is so I could rest!”

“First off, stop yelling, don’t use your voice-“ Her manager looked up at the rear view mirror, shooting her a glance that told Aohi to fix her attitude.

"Second, just get through this recording, it'll be over before you know it.."

Aohi just rolled her eyes, feeling already irked that she had to come in today. Aohi stared out the window as she ended up tuning out her manager’s voice and locking herself inside her mind.

There wasn’t much to do for her especially when she had a sore throat, even if she could, Aohi doubts her current health would even be able to keep up with anything.

“Aohi, let’s go.” Her manager could be heard unbuckling her seatbelt, Aohi following. Aohi grabbed her phone and opened her car door, squinting at the bright sun.

Her instant response to the sudden rays was to put up her hoodie, entering the studio.

“Batsy!” Sunoo chirps, reaching for the girl before any of the other guys could call for her, and with her call, Aohi gravitates towards Sunoo, his arms taking her in like a cuddly bear.

“I missed you..” Aohi mumbled into his clothes, and Sunoo just hums and kisses her forehead, “gonna keep with the PDA or are we actually recording?” Xiulin amusingly spoke from behind the two.

And it would’ve been funny, if Aohi hadn’t hissed back at her. “Unnie, respectfully shut up.” Aohi replied with a hoarse voice, and Sunoo was taken aback by her sudden reply. Xiulin must’ve been as well, looking at Aohi with widened eyes.

Aohi’s furrowed brows seemed to soften after realizing the stunned faces across the room, and she sighs, pulling away from Sunoo.

“Sorry, unnie… i just… don’t feel well.” Aohi walks into the studio booth trying to rubbing her temple with a frown. Xiulin was still waiting out her aftershock as she just watched her dongsaeng walk away.

“What’s her problem?” Ri-ki pointed his thumb at Aohi inside the booth, looking towards the boys who looked equally confused. “I know manager-nim said she wasn’t feeling well… but she’s never snapped at me like that before.” Xiulin frowns at the booth door, rubbing at her neck in discomfort.

“It’s okay noona, I’m sure Aohi just didn’t feel up to the teasing, you know how she is..” Jungwon tries to ease Xiulin’s feelings, patting the older girl’s back to comfort her.

“We’ll talk to her, don’t worry.” Sunoo added, giving Xiulin a gentle and reassuring smile as the group trailed into the booth.

Aohi sat in one of the couches, trying keep to herself, quietly playing on her phone. The boys looked to each other, trying to figure out how to approach the girl without already irking her more than she already was.

“Heeseung-ssi, Xiulin-ssi, we can record your lines now.” One of the producers called the eldest of the hyung and maknae line to come in, and Xiulin glanced at Aohi, who glances at her and Heeseung.

Aohi quickly darts her gaze back onto her phone as she tries to focus on her games, trying to get the day to go by faster.

Xiulin sighs, looking towards Heeseung who was already waiting by the booth, he mouths to her as if to tell her, that the boys will handle it while they’re gone, and not to worry too much.

Jay decides to make a move towards Aohi, sitting beside her with caution. Aohi squirms at the sudden dip in the couch, but refuses to look up anyway.

“Batsy.. look at me, baby..” Jay encouraged, his hands gently reaching for her tense ones. “You want to tell me what’s wrong?.. we just want to help, Aohi, baby.” Aohi feels rather suffocated in Jay’s hold, and she knows he doesn’t mean to cage her in, but she feels like she can’t breathe.

Aohi shakes her head, trying to pull away from his hold, and Jay’s eyebrow twitches, his first indication that something was worse than just annoyance or tiredness. She mumbled something that Jay couldn’t decipher, he leans even closer.

Jay knew that even if Aohi was annoyed, she’d never turn down any of his hugs, even going as far to tell him that he’s the best at cuddling besides Ri-ki.

“Look at me, Batsy.” Jay reaches for her face, his gentle fingers barely touching her cheeks when Aohi slaps them away. “I told you to leave me alone!” Aohi’s voice croaks loudly, and Jake stands up from his spot in the room.

Her hand reaches to push Jay away, who seemed hurt at the way Aohi raises her voice at him. Despite being scolded by Aohi before, it never sounded worse like it did at this moment.

Aohi’s hand is stopped by Jake’s hand around her wrist, and her attention’s turned from Jay to Jake, trying to pull her wrist away from him.

“Let go!”

“Aohi, that’s enough! We’re just trying to help you!” Jake holds her tighter, and Aohi squeezes her eyes tight, letting out a sob. “I don’t want your help!” Aohi stands up from her spot, shoving Jake away.

Jake toppled over a few instruments, hissing at the impact. “Hyung!” Jungwon and Sunghoon quickly stood up, rushing to Jake’s side. Aohi’s breath hitches, and she sniffles, glancing around, Sunoo and Ri-ki looking at her with disbelief.

Aohi could feel her heart beating with intensity as she only looks for her only escape, running out of the room to the front door.

She has no idea where to run, but her legs certainly aren’t stopping, Aohi doesn’t register which way she goes, turning all sorts of corners, and the sun blinding her.

Soon enough, her body stops running, and Aohi has no clue where she is, she sits on a random bench, the area seemed deserted, some patches of weed growing through the brick path she ran down on.

Aohi brings her legs up on the bench, and she remembers that she’s left her phone at the studio with everyone else, and the air doesn’t do much to calm her.

She digs her face into her knees, and she could feel the familiar sting of tears in her eyes and she squeals into her knees, as if angry that she’s crying.

Aohi has no idea why she’s been so upset lately, maybe she needed to be alone for a while, or maybe Aohi felt like the world hasn’t been so nice to her lately. She’s tired, so tired.

Aohi just wanted to rest for a little while, and she can’t do that when her company wants her to go to these recordings despite putting her on vocal rest.

Aohi can’t afford to go home right now either, for one, she has no clue where she is and Aohi knows that she needs a ride to even get back to the apartments.

She only whimpers, and lets herself cry into her arms, pitiful sobs leaving like a lullaby from her lips. Aohi’s back shakes as her sobs continue, and she realizes that she can’t even stop herself or quiet herself.

And in an ironic way, the world sends a somewhat comforting breeze to her side, despite being certainly mean to her the couple of days, Aohi takes the breeze with gusto, sniffling as she’s blanketed with the wind.

Aohi cries her pretty little heart out in a deserted part of this random park, and she cries and cries until her eyes tire out, Aohi can feel the creeping tiredness loom over her as her eyes don’t fight the urge to close, to get sleep.

She just lets it happen as her eyes blanket her vision with darkness, and she sniffles once more, the need to sleep heavy and she doesn’t fight.

The sun’s starting to come down, and Aohi can barely register the muffled call of her name. Aohi could feel the approaching headache from dehydration, obviously from crying her eyes out the previous hours, but she looks up anyway.

“Aohi.. wake up, damn it..” Ri-ki curses, and he sits beside her balled figure on the bench, he runs his hands through his hair, sighing out of worry and concern.

“nini…” Aohi mumbled out, and her voice is still coarse, maybe even worse than it was the last time Ri-ki heard it. Ri-ki stops himself from softening at the nickname she calls him, one that she got from other fan accounts on Twitter, thinking it was adorable.

“Do you know how fucking worried we were?…” Ri-ki breathlessly spoke, and he gently placed a hand on her cheek, his eyebrows furrowed. Aohi whimpered, digging her cheek into his palm anyway.

“I’m sorry, nini…” Ri-ki curses under his breath, and he takes off his jacket, placing it over Aohi’s body, he felt the alarming heat of her body on his palm, he stands up from the bench and takes his arms under Aohi’s knees and supporting her back.

He lifts her up with a huff, carrying Aohi bridal style. “Don’t think just because you’re sick means you’re off the hook for running like that.” Ri-ki walks down the familiar path, the sun was going down and soon enough, he won’t be able to see the path out of the deserted park.

“You worried the fuck out of everyone… Jay and Jake were out in the cold for hours, you left your phone so we couldn’t even…” Ri-ki blinked his tears away, the worry and the thought that something could’ve happened to Aohi overwhelming him.

“We couldn’t track you down, and who knows where the hell you could’ve gone?…” Aohi, despite being too tired out of her mind and sleepy, felt guilty anyways, she felt stupid for running then, and she still felt stupid now.

“I don’t know what I would’ve done if I couldn’t find you… hell, what would we tell the engenes? you hate disappointing them..” Ri-ki grits his teeth, it takes a little while for them to regroup with the others, and Ri-ki had gone silent from walking for a bit and he finally walks out to a familiar path, seeing the boys and Xiulin waiting anxiously by the van.

“You found her!" Heeseung sighed in relief, jogging up to the two, Aohi seemed to knock out on the walk, and Heeseung reaches to check on her.

"She's burning.." Heeseung curses, and he walks to the van and opens the door, "Let's get her home before she gets worse." Sunoo agrees, nodding as he climbs into the vehicle, helping Ri-ki climb in with Aohi in his hold.

"Careful.. she's going to bump her head.." Sunoo whispers, placing his hands on her head, looking at Aohi with worry in his eyes.

The boys and Xiulin are silently driven home by their staff, and they all apologize to the staff member for keeping them waiting as Ri-ki, bowed, before walking up to the apartment.

"Ri-ki-yah.. I can carry her.." Sunghoon offered from beside him, and he shakes his head, just continuing to walk up to their dormitory, which Jungwon opens for the youngest.

"Wait! You should bring her to our dorm, I can't take care of her from your dorms.." Xiulin voiced, and the boys turn to her, "Noona, don't worry about it, I'm sure you're tired, me and the hyungs will take care of her." Ri-ki shoots their eldest girl a reassuring look, and Xiulin can't help but sigh.

"But-" Jay shakes his head, asking Xiulin not to fight them on it, "You can trust us, Xiu, don't worry." Xiulin softly frowns, but she couldn't go up against seven boys, even if she wanted to.

"Okay, just.. make sure she gets some rest..." Xiulin reaches over and places a small kiss on Aohi's burning forehead, a quiet goodbye as she recovers in the boys' dorms.

The boys and Xiulin part from the stairs, and Aohi's brought into the boys' dorms, they all have separate rooms now, the countless complaints from singer to manager had worked, and given them some sort of privacy.

Ri-ki makes a quick move to place her onto his bed, tucking her with record-breaking speed, trying to keep her warm, feeling Aohi shiver all throughout the car ride.

Despite his worry, he still feels sour about earlier, knowing Aohi wasn't feeling well, and her mood was not best, did not excuse the fact that she ran off, and for hours they couldn't find her.

"I'll go grab a rag for her fever.." Sunoo whispers from beside Ri-ki, patting the youngest's back in comfort before leaving the room. The rest of the boys seemed to follow after Sunoo, quiet excuses pouring from all of their lips.

"We'll get dinner started, make her some food.." Jay and Jungwon walked out together, and Sunghoon runs his hand through his face, "We'll give you some space.." Heeseung pulls Sunghoon with him, who seems hesitant to leave Aohi's side.

"How could you be so reckless, batsy?" Ri-ki whispered, his tone scolding. For once, he was babying Aohi without any complaint. Well, not that she could anyway. "I thought something had happened to you.. and I wouldn't of been there..."

Ri-ki sat by her side for a while, he repositioned to the ground, gently rubbing his thumb against Aohi's palm. A calming gesture for both of them. He quietly watches Aohi's sleeping figure, and despite the underlying cringe from him, feeling creepy for watching her, he couldn't help but worry, truly.

"...I would've lost it.. batsy, I need you," Ri-ki whispers, and it seems like every time they were by themselves, he starts to speak in Japanese, like he's at his most vulnerable with her. "I need you like water, my love.." He continues his sentence, hoping she'll awake for a little bit.

Like a miracle, Aohi twitches from her sleep, and she lets out a quiet groan, her eyes fluttering from her nap, and she's faced with the familiar ceiling of Ri-ki's room. She calls for him with a broken voice.

"Nini..." And Ri-ki makes a move, sitting up on his knees to coo at her silently, "I'm here, lovely.." He feels Aohi's hand squeeze his, and he feels himself relax. Ri-ki is relieved, comforted by Aohi's presence.

"Why.. would you go look for me..?" Aohi croaks from her spot, looking at Ri-ki with a hurt expression, and he's almost confused on why she would ask such a question. "Why wouldn't we?.." Ri-ki tilts his head, his thumb makes comforting swipes at the back of Aohi's hand.

"You could've gotten sick.. stupid.." Aohi tries to flick up at Ri-ki's forehead, and he shakes his head, making her drop her hand. "I don't care about getting sick, I care about finding you." He replies, and Aohi sighs, turning her head from Ri-ki to the wall.

"I hate when you say stuff like that.." Aohi whispers, and Ri-ki is confused, sure, his words would fluster the girl, but her? Hating such words from him when she was as affectionate as him?

"Why? You and I both know it's true," Ri-ki responds, and Aohi makes a move to almost throw a slight action of defiance. "And that's what I hate about it, I hate that you're willing to break your back as long as I'm with you.."

"And it's the same for the other boys, and I love that you love me so much," Ri-ki listens, despite his dislike for where the conversation was heading, "and I love you all the same, if not more, but I hate that you'd disregard your own well-being for me.. I wish I wasn't that important to you.. any of you."

"How could you say that?" Ri-ki asks, standing up from his spot and sitting on the bed, and Aohi sits up from her spot, "Ri-ki, how could I not? Hell, you gave me your jacket even when you knew it was cold.."

"You're always bending over backwards for me, and I wish you'd be a little more concerned with yourself." Aohi looks towards him and Ri-ki furrows his eyebrows. "You're the same way."

Aohi stays silent, "It's the way I am.." Aohi fiddles with her fingers, looking down at her lap. "And so what? You think we should just take and take, and you get nothing in return for yourself?" Ri-ki assumes, and Aohi looks to argue, to deny, but words don't come out of her mouth.

Ri-ki waits for a reply from Aohi and when she doesn't seem to speak, he continues. "What's the point of us dating you if we'll just be selfish while you break like this?" Aohi still doesn't reply, and she knows there's nothing she could say to fix her words, and what she meant.

"Are we even your boyfriends that way?" Aohi finally moves from her spot, "Of course you are! I just don't want you to be so consumed with being with me that you just.." Aohi brings her hands to her face, "It feels like you have to take care of me all of the time, and I'm just.."

"I don't want any of you to help me because it's not your job, I should be able to do this myself!" Aohi sobbed, and Ri-ki feels angrier than before.

“if you didn’t want any of us to help you when you’re crumbling like this then why are you still dating us?!” Ri-ki yells, and it’s the first time in a while that Aohi had heard him so loud.

Aohi blinks at him and for once she’s surprised of the way Ri-ki stared at her with angry tears. Ri-ki was angry at her.

“Are you angry at me?…” She whispers, and Aohi doesn’t miss the way her voice quivers as she asks this to Ri-ki who turns away from her.

“You don’t know how much it hurts when we see you like this… when I see you like this.” Ri-ki sobbed, his fists grab at his hair, and Aohi makes a move to stop him, knowing it’ll hurt.

“I feel like the worst fucking boyfriend when I see you fall apart like dust and I can’t help you.”

Aohi doesn’t say a word more, unable to reply. Her tears cascaded down her cheeks and she pulls Ri-ki into her arms. “I’m sorry.” She repeats like a mantra.

And it seems like Ri-ki breaks alongside Aohi, and she starts to think that maybe the world was a little too cruel on both of them, or maybe she was being too cruel on him, on all of them.

how could she fix this now?

"I'm sorry nini... I didn't mean to make you feel like that.. I just... feel awful and I've been too cruel.." Aohi holds Ri-ki tightly, and she could feel her hoodie starts to dampen with the boy's tears.

"I'm so sorry... I feel like the worst girlfriend to you... you don't even know nini.." Aohi hugs Ri-ki like she could never let go, and she knows she would never.

"Then help me know, I want to, let me understand, let me help.." Ri-ki begged from her, and Aohi feels worse than she already did.

Aohi places a gentle kiss on his forehead, continuing her apologies. Ri-ki seems to cry for forever he felt like, he just couldn't stop, and his fingers had gone red from how tightly he held Aohi in his arms.

"You don't deserve such a cruel girl like me.." She whispers, lifting Ri-ki's face, wiping at the streaks on his cheeks, and with a quiet voice, Ri-ki speaks, "I want you anyway, I'll always want to be with you, even if you don't."

"How did I score someone like you, hm, nini?" Aohi laughed through her own tears. "I don't know, but you're never getting rid of me." Ri-ki replies, before taking Aohi's cheeks in his hands and laying a gentle kiss on her lips.

The two's lips intertwined like perfect puzzle pieces, Aohi's hand reaching to cup Ri-ki's in a warmth he'll never deny. Aohi thinks that she could never get used to how warm Ri-ki's lips were, always comforting her in ways she could never do herself.

The two pull away, and Aohi almost chases after Ri-ki, already missing him so close to her.

"...I love you, so much." Aohi spoke after a while, using her hoodie sleeve to wipe at her nose, and Ri-ki laughs, grabbing a tissue from his bedside, "Don't wipe it on your hoodie, batsy.."

"I really do love you though, you know that right?" Ri-ki smiles, and nods, wiping at Aohi's tears. "aigoo... you big baby.." Ri-ki kisses at her nose, and Aohi squeals at the ticklish feeling.

"You cried too! I'm not the only big baby!" Aohi retorts, gently slapping Ri-ki's shoulder, the two continued to giggle for a little before they quiet down, the only evidence of their silly behaviour being their smiles.

"Don't ever be scared to crumble, we'll be here to pick you back up... just like you are for us.." Ri-ki hugs her tightly one more time, and Aohi's never felt as loved as she was with the boys, and it makes her realize how much she could never actually live without these boys.

"So.. how does soup sound?"

"Sounds lovely, nini."

"Good, you're going to have to apologize to Jay-hyung and Jake-hyung, they've been sulking since this afternoon." - "Oh... about that.."

[gretagerwigsmuse]

rocketman: part i - it's just my job five days a week

Summary: in which lieutenant commander bradshaw is on a three month special detachment in the pacific and the holidays have never felt lonelier for either of you. it's just three months, it'll be fine, right?

OR you and bradley write each other 159 emails

Pairing: Rooster x Fem!Reader 11.8k

Warnings: 18+, explicit language, suggestive dialogue, bradley needs to remember this is a government email server...(okay yes, i am perfectly aware that our esteemed lieutenant commander would probably get kicked out of the navy for some of these emails…that being said, i also don’t particularly care! we’re playing fast and loose with the time stamps too because i may be smart, but math has never been a strong suit of mine!) enjoy the companion playlist! rest of the series can be found here!

12/17 @ 6:19am

I miss you already and I haven’t even left the parking lot. I’m still in my car typing this after having stayed for probably far too long watching your C-40 take off (like people were staring at me I was there so long)(and, yes, I looked up the name of the plane). Pete asked me if I wanted to get breakfast with him, but I said no. Felt too lost. Plus, I need to get ready for work. We’re going to get dinner on Wednesday before I head up to Berkeley Thursday morning, though!

Hope you have a safe transport and settle onboard quickly. I left you something in your duffle bag (yes, it’s safe to open around other people…head out of the gutter, Bradshaw).

Love you and stay safe, x

12/18 @ 5:46pm 

Just dropped off the gifts at the Junior League for Caroline’s adopt a child thing. She was completely in her element (they gave her a clipboard and a bullhorn!), though she did say we went wayyy too over the top. But little Carter asked for all that stuff! We couldn’t just not get it all for him? She also appreciated your wrapping skills, very impressed with the bows and tight corners. I met a couple of her friends there, which was nice and they invited me to stay for drinks (the prosecco was flowing…), but I wanted to head home. 

I miss you so much already, it feels weird not going over to your place after work and making dinner and prepping lunch together - and it’s only been two days. I know you’re on a comms blackout for the next couple days, so I’m just gonna keep sending these so you’ll have a bunch to read all at once.

All my love, x

12/19 @ 11:48am

My brother and Lauren decided to come out here for Christmas after all! My dad was so excited when he called me, but I think Mary’s a little less enthused. Feels like shit knowing we were the backup option for them. Apparently, Lauren’s mom is sick and the whole house is in disarray (not hard in that family…) so my dad is paying for them to fly in from New York tomorrow. I think it’ll be nice, we’ll almost have a full set (baring you, of course, my darling rocketman), so the house won’t be as lonely. Do you think we’ll get to talk on Christmas or Christmas Eve? You should be getting a package soon (‘twas preemptively sent!) and are under strict orders not to open it until Christmas Eve, buddy!

Going to dinner with Pete tonight, I’ll let you know how it goes. Amelia’s coming with us, but I don’t know about Penny? I hope they like the gifts we got them. I’m going to stop by your place, do a once over, and make sure the tree is ready for Pete to take, etc. before I leave on Thursday.

Love you and talk soon! x

12/20 @ 7:03am

House looked good! In my seat on the plane. If my morals were shakier, I would 1000% have taken Max up on his offer to fly me up to Berkeley. But alas! Climate change is real and private jets account for 20x as many carbon emissions as commercial planes, so I am up at the ass-crack of dawn for this 7:15am flight. I’ll message you when I land, love you!

12/20 @ 9:04am

Just landed - easy flight. Now to find my dad in arrivals…

Love you, talk when you get the chance! x

12/23 @ 4:45am

Hey sweetheart! Back online and all settled in. I’m bunking with Payback and we actually have a pretty decent layout. He graciously offered to give me the bottom bunk, due to my ‘geriatric status.’ Honestly, I’m just glad I don’t have to sleep in the bunk room with the ensigns and rest of the crew. I forgot how noisy it is being on an aircraft carrier, which makes Payback’s snoring surprisingly pleasant. I’m glad he and Bob are with me. The rest of this squadron’s from Lemoore and Bob knows some of them. It’s interesting seeing him and Payback fly together, but they mesh really well.

Glad Mav is there to keep an eye on you. 

Okay, I had way too much fun picking out all those presents, so I really hope Carter loves them too. And please tell me you have a picture of Caroline yelling into the bullhorn? I can truly think of nothing scarier than Caroline Calloway ordering the young women of San Diego county around like Santa’s chief elf. And speaking of gifts, I loved my pictures. The one from the Christmas party is my favorite, did Fanboy take it? I saw him running around with his Pentax. When the hell did you have time to print it? I’ve got it hanging up in my bunk so I can see it every night. 

I still don’t understand why you don’t fly into Oakland instead of SFO? Like I get it, you’re not a Spirit or SW girl, but kid….it’s an hour and forty minute flight? Live a little. And I think it’ll be nice having your brother and Lauren around for Christmas. How many people do you think it’ll be? I always loved seeing Christmas Eves with large families in movies and stuff, all the chaos and whatnot? But it’s just gonna be you five Christmas Day? I’ve heard rumblings that I might be first in line for a Facetime on Christmas Eve, so save some time for me too, kid. I’ll let you know for sure in a couple days. 

Okay, think we’re all caught up now. Talk soon and love you so much,

Your Bradley

12/23 @ 9:08am

Bubs! I read your email four times since I woke up, I can’t stop smiling. I’m glad you’re all settled in - Reuben’s snoring and ageism aside haha. How’s the food? Do you want earplugs? A sleep mask? Are earplugs allowed for sleeping? What if you need to get up right away and you can’t hear? I could send you a white noise machine? Or is there a fear of hacking with that? I should’ve done more research on this before you left. Tell me if you need anything, I’ll send it out express! Oh, I’m just so happy to hear from you. Keep me posted!

Lots of love, x

12/23 @ 8:53pm

You and me, hot date tomorrow night at 11:45pst - don’t be late. (And look cute.)

Your Bradley

12/23 @ 8:55pm

I’ll be there 😉 Love you, x

12/25 @ 9:56am

Bradley Bradshaw you absolute sneak! How on Earth did you pull a Christmas miracle off!?! Mary said she had no clue, so I’m extremely impressed you got my dad to keep that secret!? I was totally not expecting another present from you? The cooking lessons and apron were more than enough - to say nothing about moving in together!?! I love the bracelet so much, you have no idea. I started crying when I opened it! Mary took a video, which I’m sure she’ll send you. God, Bradley? You didn’t have to do that! It’s perfect, it’s like we’re locked together. I’m gonna wear it everyday. Please email me later if you get the chance! 

(Also, Lauren looked really jealous 😉 my brother was sweating)

Love you and Merry Christmas Rocketman! x

12/25 @ 11:38am

Ummm, not sure what you’re talking about, kid? That sounds like something Santa would do? Probably heard about how good you’ve been this year? x

12/25 @ 11:40am

Thank you, I love it so much and wish I could give you the biggest hug and kiss right now. I’ll have an extra slice of babka for you tonight, talk soon and Merry Christmas, Bradley! Love you x

12/27 @ 4:49am

I miss sleeping next to you. Whenever I can’t sleep, I think about the way you looked at me in the living room after our Christmas party. You looked so happy and I hate that I have to leave you for all our firsts. First Christmas, first New Year’s, first Valentine’s Day. And god, sweetheart, you’re so fucking gorgeous it makes me want to lose my mind sometimes. Always thinking about you, Bradley 

12/27 @ 8:38am

I miss sleeping next to you, too (especially since your body is like a furnace and you hold me close when I get cold). And I know you being away during the holidays is hard, but look at it this way - we’ll just have our firsts next year. Next year will be our first Christmas, first New Year’s, first Valentine’s Day together, not an ocean apart. We have all the time in the world, rocketman. Love you today and every day x

12/29 @ 6:02pm

There’s already so many things I’m dying to tell you and stories about the squadron we’re teaming up with, but the Navy will have my ass if I give away too many details so I’m just going to leave it at this: are we sure Max doesn’t have a twin on another continent? Take that as you will. What’re your plans for New Year’s? Your Bradley

12/30 @ 9:20am

Sorry for the delayed response! A minor issue with my brother and my dad that I won’t bore you with had the whole house in a tizzy. Thankfully, he and Lauren are gone even though my dad still won’t tell me what the issue was? Anyway! God, I wish I could hear more about Max’s twin? I am honestly kind of scared about knowing there’s a Max doppelgänger in the Navy (jokes!). For New Year’s, I’m going to this party with Mary and dad in the city, it’s at this fancy venue and I have a cute black dress! It’s very different for me and I wish you were here to see it! I’ll have to wear it again. Message me when it’s the New Year your time! Love you! x

01/01 @ 12:09am

Happy New Year, sweetheart! They had a little party for the officers - we even got cake and Bob snuck me and Payback seconds somehow. It’s always the quiet ones you gotta look out for. You absolutely need to send me pictures of you in that dress, I can’t wait to see it on you in person someday. Hope you have a great time with your dad and Mary, give them my best. Love you and again Happy New Year! 

Your Bradley

01/01 @ 12:01am

Happy New Year, Bradley!!! You got cake!! You broke some rules! I approve! Milk them for all the cake they’re worth! I’ll send some pics of the three of us and one just for you big boy 😉 Talk soon and love you so so much! x

01/01 @ 10:59am

Had a late start! Here are the pics from last night! Try and sneak some more cake xx

[mary_and_dad_being_annoying.jpg]

[me.jpg]

01/02 @ 6:12am

You know you labeled the pictures wrong…luckily no one was behind me…

01/02 @ 9:04am

Who? Me? I would NEVER! (Just trying to keep you on your toes.) Hope the flying is going well and you’re staying safe, B! Love you!

01/03 @ 8:00pm

Yeah, it’s going well. It’s so different flying on the open ocean after so long? Last time was in September when I went to Hong Kong. The desert is cool, don’t get me wrong, but seeing the clouds and the water together is unreal. The pink and purple clouds remind me of you (sorry, that was lame). You still gotta let me take you up, kid. I’ve heard Mav is trying to convince you, but you gotta let me be the one. Can’t trust just anyone with my girl. Love B

01/04 @ 10:13am

Bradley…he’s practically your father, I’m pretty sure you can trust him to take me up in a plane, you silly boy. Not that I’m saying you won’t be my first…but come on! And it’s not lame. I like that the pink and purple clouds remind you of me. Every time I see a plane I send a little call out for your safety. Gotta keep you safe, rocketman! Talk soon and love you! x

01/06 @ 4:45pm

My parents just dropped me off at the airport and no matter how many times I leave them, I always cry. I think the only time I didn’t cry when I left their house was when you were with me over Thanksgiving. You always make it better, bubs.

They’re coming down in a couple weeks to help me start packing, anything in the house you wouldn’t want them to see while dropping off boxes? I can still bring my old bed, etc for the guest room, right?

All my love, x

01/06 @ 9:58pm

I think I get that, having you around this time makes it different. I’ve never had anyone to really write to while I’ve been away before. Sure, I talked to my grandparents when they were still around and my aunts and uncles, Nat, Ice, and a couple others, but not like this. And I don’t ever want to not feel like this again. 

I’m an open book, kid. Ain’t got nothing to hide. And yeah, anything like that feel free to bring with you for the guest room or office. It was the bed, nightstands, and dresser and then your couch for the office, yeah? We can get new bedding and pillows for it if you want? I’m on comms blackout for a couple days, so message me whenever you want so I can read them all when we’re back online.

Your Bradley

01/06 @ 10:07pm

Perfect! Love you and stay safe, rocketman.

01/06 @ 10:09pm

Love you too, kid.

01/09 @ 6:11pm

Bradley, I don’t mean to alarm you, but there was a raccoon in your garage! Scratch that, a FAMILY of raccoons!??! I’m sure Mr Harrington was ready to call the cops when he heard my scream. They’re so cute, but also terrifying at the same time? So, I called Pete and he came right over, a true knight in shining armor! Amelia and I did a THOROUGH sweep of the house to make sure they were relegated to the garage. Pete got them out safe and sound with a random tennis racket and your 4 iron, but somebody’s coming tomorrow to check on how they got in there. And I know they aren’t hurting anyone, but I just don’t want there to be any issues later on? (The babies were actually so cute and reminded me of my cat growing up, Porter.) Anyway! Enough drama for tonight, I hope that gets a laugh out of you - talk soon!

Love you! x

01/10 @ 8:05am

Well, the exterminator got here around 7:30 and sprayed all this stuff and blocked the hole in the crawl space of the garage. He showed me pictures and let me tell you, there was quite the nest up there. These raccoons were living large over the holidays. 

01/12 @ 5:21pm

Okay! I’m in the parking lot, waiting for my first cooking class to start. Is it weird I’m a little nervous? I hope everyone else’s skill level is similar, I don’t like feeling behind. I brought my new apron, ironed it and everything. I feel a little like Ina Garten, isn’t she just divine? Okay, okay, I’m going in now! I’ll let you know how it goes! Thanks again for getting me these xx

01/12 @ 7:03pm

I feel so tired? Like my hand cramped a little bit? We started off the class with knife skills, which we’re going to do every week and then made this “simple” egg dish, which was NOT simple and I overcooked the egg. Ina would be so disappointed. Alas! Onto next week. Love you!

01/15 @ 9:12pm

Bradley you’re not going to BELIEVE what just happened on Succession. My heart is POUNDING? Do you think if I called and asked really nicely the Navy would get an HBO subscription for everyone? That is what I would like my tax dollars to go towards. Can you get me a direct line to someone in charge please? Love you!

01/16 @ 7:47am

Not to worry my little Barefoot Contessa, I have returned back to civilization (ie the internet), though am dismayed to have missed this mind blowing Succession episode? Has Perry Mason started back up again or will we be able to watch that together? 

Bob and I were in the gym earlier and he almost dropped a dumbbell on my foot, I swear my life flashed before my eyes. But I had a new PR on the bench press today, up to 285 pounds. Glad the cooking lesson went well though! What’s the class makeup like? x Bradley 

01/16 @ 9:04am

I’m glad you’re back online and safe! Perry Mason has not started yet, though I’m still certain you’re the only person under the age of 55 that watches it (I guess I should say we’re the only people under the age of 55 that watch it, but whatever). You’ve also missed a couple Top Chef episodes, but we can always binge this season later. 

There’s about 12 of us in the class and it’s pretty evenly split? Though there’s tragically this really annoying couple who were at the station next to me. I hope we get to change next week, I don’t think I can watch them feed each other food another week. 

And I’m still waiting for that direct line to the Navy, Bradshaw! Love you! x

01/1 6 @ 6:59pm

Wait, wait, how did I miss there? There was a WHAT in my garage? A raccoon? Multiple raccoons? We need to get a dog or a cat or something. x Bradley 

01/18 @ 7:02am

Bradley!! I know we talked about a trip once you got home (provided you still feel up for it with the transition and all), what if we went here? I was talking about our tentative plans with my dad and Mary before I went back to San Diego and they went to Punta Mita this past fall and LOVED it! What do you think? Love you!

01/18 @ 6:03pm

Holy shit! That looks absolutely amazing, yes I’d love to go! Can we afford that though? It looks expensive? xBradley

01/18 @ 6:05pm

YAY!! Ahh, I’m so excited you have no idea! I want to hug and kiss you so bad right now! We can fly for free since I have a bunch of AA points (thank you pwc) and then I have like a million Amex points, so it’s not full price!! 

01/18 @ 6:12pm

When you say ‘like a million’ do you actually mean a million or?

01/18 @ 6:14pm

Yes! I’ve had this card for like 15 years! My whole family does the pooling on it! It’s a drop in the bucket, promise! Plus, I always use my other card for work and that has a whole bunch of Bonvoy points on it, too. We could stay at one of those? I think there’s a St Regis next door?

01/18 @ 6:22pm

Sweetheart, I want to go, I just don’t want you to waste all those points on this. 

01/18 @ 6:26pm

What if we go for 6 nights instead of 9? Maybe no plunge pool? Or we could pay cash instead? And then I could get 6x the points from paying that way? So, really….the points just keep accumulating, we’ve got to use them sometime! The points can pay for the flights and the hotel and then we can split the room charges and incidentals 50:50?

Will you think about it? You don’t have to give me an answer right away and we can always pick another hotel? But if we want to go someplace in late March/early April, I think we should book soon with spring break and all? Not that I imagine many coeds will be staying at the Four Seasons, but you never know…

01/18 @ 6:33pm

You gotta send me a ppt on all this points stuff, you know math stresses me out. And no, I don’t think many coeds will be staying at the Four Seasons, kid. 

01/18 @ 6:37pm

Can I send you a dossier with everything!?! Even if you say no to that I’m doing it anyway ;) just promise me you’ll think about it, please? I’ll do whatever you want, Bradley <3

01/18 @ 6:40pm

Yes, please send the dossier my way henceforth, Moneypenny. 

And you’ll do whatever I want, huh? Might have to send you a dossier of my own now…

(But yes, I promise I’ll seriously consider everything. I just don’t want you to feel like you have to spend all this money to make me happy. I’d say we’d both be happy camping out on the beach, but I think that might be a security issue down there, plus neither of us like camping - anyway, you know what I mean.)

01/18 @ 6:43pm

Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw!! Is this a dossier for my eyes only? What will M say!? I’ll send you mine if you send me yours?

(But seriously, thank you! I’ll send you more specifics tomorrow - like pricing and whatnot - and you can take a couple days to think it over. And thank you for clarifying the camping thing, I was worried for a second there.)

I love you so much rocketman and we’ll talk (email) tomorrow 

x Moneypenny 

01/18 @ 6:46pm

I’d say ‘sleep tight,’ but that’s a given considering you haven’t been fucked in a couple weeks. 

(Perfect, I genuinely am really excited about it, just want to make sure it works out for us both.)

Love you so much, kid 

Your Bradley

01/18 @ 6:58pm

Bradley Bradshaw!! You did not just say that over a government email server! 

Imissyourcocksobadlyit’sdrivingmeinsane

01/18 @ 7:01pm

Couldn’t help it. Plus, we both know it’s true. 

01/18 @ 7:04pm

Oh, shut up. Shut me up

01/18 @ 11:43pm

I’m sorry if I came off too strong about planning earlier, I might’ve gotten a little carried away and been a little too eager about planning something five days after you’re home from a three month detachment. If at any time before you come home or even right after you come home you don’t feel up to the trip, please please please tell me. I want to do something nice for you and give you a chance to truly relax, but I’d hate for it to come at a price. So, just let me know, okay? Say the word and we’ll push it, alright? I don’t exactly know what you’re going through, but tell me if it’s ever too much. I’ll always be here, promise. Love you x

[dossier_for_your_eyes_only.ppt]

01/19 @ 8:29am

Kid, no. I promise I’ll tell you. You know I love how excited you get planning things. I think I like it so much because you take care of it all. Sure, you ask for my opinion and what I want, but I just have to tell you one thing, one idea and you take care of it. 

Funny though, isn’t it? How it’s totally opposite in the other side of our relationship? You tell me one thing, one idea and I take care of all of it? Bet it’s hard for you not having someone around to do that for you? Maybe next time we Facetime we can talk more about that? x B

01/19 @ 10:11am

Luckily, I have a very creative imagination, Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw. 

See right now, I’m in my office, sitting at my desk, feeling so overwhelmed. It almost hurts how overwhelmed and frustrated I am. And you bust down the door, hair windswept like you’d flown to Del Mar, and you have that slutty flight suit on and I don’t even mind that you’re sweaty and gross. You smell absolutely divine and I rake my hands through your hair as you eat me out underneath my glass desk. I get a conference call, but you don’t stop the entire time. You like how squirmy and fussy I get, I can’t focus on the deliverable I’m working on for the client. You like that I can’t control myself, that I squeeze my thighs around your head. Eventually, you can’t take it anymore, your cock is aching so badly, and you need to fuck me on top of my desk. You’re so strong it almost breaks. You fuck me so good everyone in the office can hear me crying out for you. 

(actually, I’m on the couch, watching college football, but it’s more fun to imagine you fucking me in my office - see, creative imagination! Make sure you get a quiet room for that Facetime...)

Love x

01/19 @ 7:29pm

You think you’re funny, huh? You have any more of those thoughts, feel free to send them my way. ‘m taking out that picture you gave me for Christmas right now. How you taking care of yourself? My imagination isn’t as creative as yours. B

01/19 @ 7:40pm

Guess you’ll have to wait for our next Facetime…

x

01/20 @ 4:24pm

Your dad and Mary write me emails, you know. They aren’t as good correspondents as you are (for how could they possibly be, my dear?), but they check in about once a week or so. Mary sends me some of the articles she gives her students and talks about the show she’s watching with your dad. Your dad mainly talks about you. It makes me wish my parents were still around to do this stuff with me. Just checking in and writing emails and bragging about me to my girlfriend? How was yesterday’s class?

Your Bradley

01/20 @ 5:39m

I didn’t know they wrote you that often and I’m beyond embarrassed that my dad talks about me that much? But come on, Bradley…you have someone who does that, too? He’s about 5’8” (on a good day), looks great in a leather jacket, and just spent about two hours last weekend cleaning your gutters and telling me about how you won your high school’s debate scholarship?? Like how could you not tell me that? It’s literally one of the hottest things I’ve heard about you!

Class was good! They taught us a trick to cut onions without crying and one of the other girls complimented my apron! We’re doing meats next week, cutting, marinating, cooking, etc. and I’m excited!

01/20 @ 5:42pm

Oh gee, I bet it’s just awful for you to have Mav around all the time. Knight in shining armor…

01/20 @ 5:48pm

He’s not a bother! And it’s not all the time! We’re actually going to get lunch together on Saturday! It’s this new place on the water.

01/20 @ 5:50pm

Sounds like a cute little date! You’ll have to tell me how he is. Love you so much B

01/20 @ 5:55pm

I’ll keep ya posted, bubs! Love you!

01/22 @ 10:01am

Breaking news, kid. Your esteemed, naval aviator boyfriend is going to be on 60 Minutes at the end of February. Totally came out of left field, but I couldn’t say anything until they finished filming. It’s about the Navy in the Pacific and “the lost art of shipbuilding.” They even rigged up a camera on my plane and everything, it was so cool. I’ve been dying to tell you, but again couldn’t say anything until it was official. I probably won’t be on it long since they interviewed the Admiral and Pac Fleet Commander for most of it, but yeah, Payback and Bob and I will be on with my girl Norah. I made sure I had enough sunscreen on so I was camera ready at all times. Love you B

01/22 @ 10:09am

YOU’RE FUCKING SHITTING ME????? Oh my god, Bradley! That’s amazing! Margie even ran into my office to see what made me shriek! I am TOTALLY having a viewing party! Oh my god, how do you think it went? Did they get your good side? What about hair and makeup? I know you get helmet hair, bubs. 

Seriously, so so excited and proud of you, Bradley! I’m going to make my dad and Mary come down for it! She doesn’t teach on Mondays, so this is perfect for them to stay over Sunday night! But now don’t go letting all that fame get to your head, Lieutenant Commander Bradshaw 😉 Love you so much x

01/24 @ 12:17pm

Rocketman - 

I was sitting at my desk earlier and listening to some music before my 12:30 meeting and Elton John’s Rocket Man popped up on my shuffle. Obviously, as you are my rocketman, I always think of you whenever I hear it, but today the lyrics really scratched that special part of my brain, so I did a deep dive into the song’s origins. 

Please note, I’m including this time in my billable hours to the client (re. you). My findings are as follows:

Bernie Taupin was inspired by a Ray Bradbury story written in 1951 titled ‘The Rocket Man’ - not drugs as the urban legend states! Drugs! Imagine!

Bradbury’s ‘The Rocket Man’ was first published in Maclean’s, a weekly Canadian magazine, before it was published in the short story collection ‘The Illustrated Man’ that same year

‘The Illustrated Man’ later was made into a film, though ‘The Rocket Man’ story was notably absent

Some of more popular and renowned stories from the collection include ‘The Veldt’ and ‘The Long Rain,’ the latter of which is commonly read in high school honors English

Was client in honors English? Please confirm in follow up correspondence

Client has mentioned extensive library resources at disposal - perhaps he can check this collection out on his next visit? But for now, an executive summary has been provided:

With space travel more commonplace in society, Doug’s father, an astronaut, is sent on frequent, three- month journeys into space

Despite missing his dad, Doug also longs to be a Rocket Man, though his mother frequently prevails on Doug to beg his father to stay on Earth and be with the family

“What’s it like, out in space?” Mother shot me a frightened glance. It was too late. Dad stood there for a full half minute trying to find an answer, then he shrugged.“It’s the best thing in a lifetime of best things.” Then he caught himself. “Oh, it’s really nothing at all. Routine. You wouldn’t like it.” He looked at me, apprehensively. “But you always go back.” “Habit.”

The father finds that his work is ruining his life, but the draw of the stars is too great: "You don’t know what it is. Every time I’m out there I think, if I ever get back to Earth I’ll stay there; I’ll never go out again. But I got out, and I guess I’ll always go out.”

Even while on vacation with the family, having Thanksgiving dinner, or sitting on the back porch, the father’s eyes are always on the sky…

Doug’s father begs him to not be like him, to not be a rocket man, but what happens when his father goes on one last journey to the stars?

Through much reflection, I have decided that ‘The Rocket Man’ was written about you - and your mom and your dad and me and on and on until there is no longer a need for Rocket Men - or the rocket man simply stops and breaks the cycle

You are both the Rocket Man and the little boy, forever waiting for his father to come home from space

The allure of flying, of being a ‘rocket man,’ is both too great and too sad for you to ignore

None of this is to say the rocket man is selfish, no. He simply cannot resist the temptation. He knows nothing other than the thrill and peace of being amongst the stars

And his mother shielding Doug from the sun at the end is like your mom asking Mav to pull your papers, she does it to save him, but it cannot keep him from becoming his father

Needless to say - I had to postpone my 12:30 meeting until tomorrow as my eyes were far too puffy and any word I tried to say felt like cotton in my mouth.

I miss you and I love you - your ‘Lilly’  

01/24 @ 8:22pm

Fuck - I love you so much. My clever girl.

01/24 @ 8:28pm

I pour my heart out to you and that’s all you have to say, rocketman? ‘Fuck - I love you so much’

(of course, I also love you so much, my clever boy.)

01/24 @ 8:30pm

Darling - it’s going to take me a little longer to come up with any commentary you deem appropriate, so for the sake of time, yes. I gotta read this story in full. I’ll be at the library at my earliest convenience. ‘The client’ will send an annotated copy with his notes henceforth.

01/24 @ 8:32pm

Of course, sweet boy. Goodnight, I love you so much. x

01/25 @ 11:44am

As promised, my darling girl. Love you.

[b.bradshaw_the rocket man_final paper.pdf]

01/25 @ 7:14pm

Oh Bradley! I love you so much, rocketman. Yes, I couldn’t have said it better. Yours x

01/26 @ 10:39am

Bradley! They’re sending me to London in February for two weeks! I even get a swanky corporate apartment for the stay. I wish you could come with me - even if it was just for a long weekend? We could go to all my favorite restaurants and afternoon tea and for walks in all the parks. One day it’ll work out! 

But tragedy of all tragedies! I just realized I’m going to miss a couple cooking lessons when I’m in London! I already emailed the instructor before today’s class and she said there’s other classes throughout the week that are behind us, so I can make it up with them! Ahhh I’m so excited! Talk soon, love you!

01/26 @ 11:13pm

I didn’t realize how nervous I was about the trip until I went to bed tonight. It’ll be my first trip abroad since I got my promotion in November. Plus, it’s a completely different client than my last trip abroad and I’ve only met one person on this new London team before. Sometimes I go into these meetings and still feel like a little kid? I’m always the youngest person in the room and normally the only woman and on one hand, that’s cool? But sometimes I feel like someone’s daughter instead of their colleague? Like these guys are my dad’s age? And they’re actually supposed to listen to what I have to say about their company? Do you ever feel like that? Like you don’t really belong, despite knowing you’ve earned your place? I wish you were beside me right now. My bed feels way too big tonight. Love you.

01/27 @ 7:48am

Sweetheart! I am so unbelievably proud of you! That’s amazing! You gotta celebrate, go out to dinner with Caro and Darcy, maybe even Nat! I know you’ve been working so hard these last couple of weeks, you absolutely deserve this. I can’t say I know exactly what you’re going through, but yes. I have absolutely felt like I haven’t belonged or deserved something despite having ‘checked off all the boxes.’ I felt that way when I got promoted to LC and when I got that award in October. Everytime I see it on my uniform, I feel a bit like a faker? Like do I really deserve this? But then I remember the way you smiled at me when I got back to my seat that night and how proud of me you were and I think maybe I do deserve it? Plus, I also think of how goddamn gorgeous you looked all fucked out later that night. 

And please note, I would happily slip into bed alongside you, especially since my bed feels way too small tonight. Love you, Bradley

01/27 @ 10:56am

Thank you for earlier. I don’t know, sometimes I just feel like I’m just too soft for all of this? Like I’m always trying to prove something to everyone and I get a little lost. Tell me something good? x

01/27 @ 7:01pm

How about this? Every time I go up in the sky and see the way the sun hits the clouds, I think of you. I’ve never wanted to be with someone as much as I want to be with you. I love you so much, kid

Your Bradley 

01/27 @ 7:06pm

Sometimes I can’t believe we love each other this much, it feels like a dream  x

01/27 @ 7:11pm

I can. Your Bradley 

01/30 @ 7:08am

i slept in one of your shirts last night. it doesn’t smell like you anymore, but it feels like you: soft and safe and warm x

01/30 @ 7:23am

Well I spray my pillowcase with your perfume whenever I miss you so I guess we’re even

Your Bradley

ps - can you send me another bottle?

01/30 @ 7:34am

You’re already out? What sort of illicit behavior are you engaging in with that perfume bottle? 

01/30 @ 10:33pm

I burrow my face in my pillow so I can smell it while I fist my cock, why? What’d you have in mind?

01/30 @ 10:37pm

How does that work though? Like genuinely? Do you jack off with Reuben in the top bunk? Or wait till he’s in the gym? I’ve been curious about this for a while now. What about the showers? Is it like an open floor plan thing? Or are there stalls? Is there a Zillow listing for this aircraft carrier?

01/30 @ 10:41pm

Now why would I ruin the mystery? 

01/30 @ 10:43pm

Bradley!!!!

01/30 @ 10:44pm

Atta girl, that’s the spirit! Love you 

02/02 @ 6:30pm

I am so sick of going to the gym. It seems like it’s all Payback and I do lately. We got this new workout regime that’s been killing me - don’t say it’s because I’m old. Though, I have been using my Theragun. Payback does my back if I do his in return. It was only awkward the first time he turned it on too hard and yelped (please tell everyone that). 

02/02 @ 6:46pm

Oh, so you and Rueben Theragun each other, huh? Say more Lieutenant Commander!

02/04 @ 2:45pm

Going to Pete and Penny’s in a bit to watch the Super Bowl! Max is at the game, apparently his golf buddy Jimmy G hooked him up, though he neglected to bring me or Caroline. I feel like you would’ve been his first choice, so take that as a compliment I suppose. Do you guys do anything onboard for it? I have $350 on the 49ers winning by 3. Have a lovely day my darling boy x

02/04 @ 9:30pm

Guess who’s as snug as a bug on a rug in her bed AND $1400 dollars richer? That would be me! When you get home we’re going to Juniper and Ivy, my treat, bubs! x

02/06 @ 4:57am

Awww sweetheart are you gonna sugar mama me again? 

02/06 @ 7:03am

You do know the only reason you’re getting away with that is because there’s an ocean between us, right? 

02/06 @ 6:00pm

Sorry, couldn’t resist! Love you! B

02/06 @ 6:10pm

You’re lucky I love you so much. x

02/08 @ 9:58pm

Can you imagine if I was gone for 20 years?

02/08 @ 10:11pm

Bradley that’s not funny 

02/08 @ 10:13pm

It’s not supposed to be. I’m reading the Odyssey and it got me thinking. 

02/08 @ 10:16pm

Bradley I love you something awful, but you are such an old man sometimes. 

Are you going through some sort of midlife crisis reading the Odyssey while you’re at sea?? Is the Old Man and the Sea next?

(ps i love the thought of you reading in your bunk in your spare time and being so struck by something composed thousands of years ago that you have to email me)

02/08 @ 10:20pm

They wait 20 years to get back to each other - practically half their lives. They miss so many things and barely knew each other before he left, but they’re still so - I don’t even know? They’re just so intent on getting back to the other in Odysseus’s case? While Penelope makes sure there’s something for him to come back to? And I must’ve read this stanza ten times before I had to email you: 

"...the gods cast me upon Ogygia, Calypso's island, home of the dangerous sea nymph with glossy braids, and the goddess took me in in all her kindness, welcomed me warmly, cherished me, even vowed to make me immortal, ageless, all my days - but she never won the heart inside me, never" 

And I know it’s not a perfect comparison or parallel, but I read that last bit and I couldn’t help but think of you? And how you’re the one who won my heart and it’s always going to be that way. Whether I see you in twenty seconds or twenty years.

02/08 @ 10:23pm

You’d come home to me whether it took twenty seconds or twenty years. You’d come home to me and I’d know you anywhere. I love you so much. 

02/08 @ 10:58pm

“Now help me, please, to get back home, and quickly! I miss my family. I have been gone so long it hurts.” 

Your Bradley

02/09 @ 7:03pm

At the airport for London! Taking off! And I may or may not have used points to upgrade to a Club World seat…but like? It’s a nonstop flight, so it’s okay, right? Work’s already paying for business class? It’s points from my work card? It’ll be fine, right?

I had to take an ativan in the lounge. I just hate that I still get so nervous whenever I fly long distance? I fly all the time, I shouldn’t be like this? You know, one time, I pretended you were flying my plane. I know it’s kind of dumb and silly and a completely different type of plane, but it made me feel better because you’d never let anything happen to me. 

Anyway, we’re book buddies!! I went to the bookstore a couple days ago and got a copy! I read the Odyssey back in high school, but forgot so much. I was reading in the lounge and this part made me think of you:

“...this lovely house, my marriage home, so full of wealth and life, which I suppose I will remember even in my dreams.”

I’ll text you when I land my darling boy, love you x

02/10 @ 6:02am

You gotta squeeze every last bit of your per diem out of pwc. You’ve been working way too hard lately. Fuck it, on the way home just put the upgrade on your work card or put it on mine. Have a safe (rest of your) flight - maybe one day you’ll let me take you up. Love Bradley 

02/10 @ 10:08am

Just landed and on my way to the office (already…)

I thought of you as I read and stared out the window on the plane. I could pretend I’m flying towards you, rather than further away. I can’t imagine how you feel doing this everyday, but I imagine it’s like feeling limitless, like everything is in front of you, there for the taking. Maybe, just maybe, I’ll let you take me up one day. 

I’ll keep you posted on how everything’s going if you do the same. All my love x

02/12 @ 5:49am

How’s it going, kid? They working you too hard? You’re in London! Try to enjoy it, you deserve it. One of the guys I’m with gave me a restaurant rec for you, said the drinks were amazing, his wife loved it. Do something fun while you’re there! And send me some pictures dammit!

Love you, 

Bradley 

02/12 @ 8:22am

Bradley! It’s been so so crazy here! I feel like I haven’t stopped since I landed. My ���flat’ is so cute and right by the client’s offices, so it’s an easy commute. I feel so professional taking the Tube places too! It’s one thing I’d like us to have in San Diego as opposed to all the traffic. Also, it’s CHILLY here and I’m so glad I dug my big coat out of storage. I’ll try and check the restaurant out this weekend, I’m gonna sneak in a trip to the Tate, too. I’ve always wanted to see the Turners. Talk soon and love you bunches! x 

02/14 @ 9:54am

Bradley Bradshaw! You absolute SAP! HOW!?! Did you conspire with my dad again? Thank you for the flowers! I’m going to have the biggest smile on my face all day. I love you and hope this is the first of a lifetime of Valentine’s Days together. Always x 

02/14 @ 7:33pm

Happy Valentine’s Day to you too, kid. I’m not gonna lie, I gave your dad very specific instructions for the bouquet (I was going to ask Max, but he’d probably swap it for something ugly and cheap and keep the change…kidding (not)), so I’m glad they turned out well. It was a very big day on board today: we got special red heart cookies for the holiday. The mood was infectious, I can still taste the sprinkles. Maybe you could cook for me on our next Facetime? Have you learned anything good in class lately? It doesn’t have to be fancy, just wanna see you (and maybe also live vicariously through whatever you’re making).  

02/14 @ 7:33pm

Bradley! I think I can swing that for you, when do you think our next call will be? 

02/16 @ 3:18pm

Kid, you spoil me. This package is amazing, I don’t know where to start (just kidding it’s with the Cadbury chocolate and the Sudocrem as my burnt shoulders thank you), but everything is wonderful, thank you. I love hearing about London and seeing the pictures you sent last time. But I do have one complaint…you’re not in any of the pictures, kid, and that’s truly egregious. (Think we won’t be able to Facetime for a while, I gave Payback my slot the other day.)

02/16 @ 3:23pm

That’s not true! I’m in the one in front of the Tate!

02/16 @ 3:25pm

Yeah, but I can’t see you under all those layers! Just want to see your face. It’s been way too long since our last Facetime.

02/16 @ 9:52pm

As requested, Lieutenant Commander. I had one of the girls in the London office take this at dinner tonight. She really did wonders with the lighting and even managed to get my sidecar in the pic! x Love you

02/17 @ 6:55am

You look pretty. New dress? B

02/17 @ 7:17am

Maybe…it was on sale, couldn’t resist. But you’re gonna hate me because all of my clothes are very much not going to fit in your closet. Also, I bought you a new jacket and some socks. x

02/17 @ 7:20am

Ehhh I’m not too worried about the closet thing. But if you keep buying me clothes we might have a problem.

02/17 @ 7:24am

It’s so cute though!! You’re going to look so handsome in it! I got the green one for you!

02/17 @ 7:29am

Okay, admittedly a very nice jacket, thank you. But you are aware that we live in San Diego…

02/17 @ 7:31am

I am aware of that fact, LC Bradshaw. You can wear it when we visit my parents. Hell, I had to get my coat out of my storage closet for this trip. 

02/17 @ 6:53pm

Sighhhhh you raise a good point. Alright, alright, thank you for the jacket and socks my darling girl. What’d you have for dinner last night? We had chicken with these absolutely awful biscuits, tasted like saw dust, my stomach was growling for some more of that Cadbury chocolate (yes, Payback and I ate all of it already, though it was mainly Payback) for hours afterward. 

02/17 @ 6:59pm

Oh my sweet boy! Who do I need to call about your meal plan? Give me the number and I’ll call the Navy up right now. And I had scallops with truffle risotto. It was delicious. Wanted to lick the bowl clean. Love you bubs x

02/19 @ 10:22pm

Bubs, I cannot eat another meal out. I feel like I’m going to burst. I’ve gone to so many work dinners and lunches even before coming here, it almost makes me feel like a glutton. 

I miss you and your cooking (though I’ll have you know that my skills were vastly improving before my trip abroad!) and you standing behind me at the counter while I try to perfectly cut peppers. Sometimes I do it wrong on purpose so you’ll put your arms around me and I can feel the rumble of your voice. Would we call that weaponized incompetence? You better be ready for some Michelin Star meals when you get home, buddy. I just can’t wait to be home with you and roll over next to you in the morning and to tell you to stop snoring and that the battery in the smoke detector needs to be changed. I can’t wait to be home with you and make a life with you. I’m going to be really sappy now, but let me have this because I was reading this poem the other day and thought of you. 

“I am supposed to be touched. I can’t wait to find the person who will come into the kitchen just to smell my neck and get behind me and hug me and breathe me in and make me turn around and make me kiss his face and put my hands in his hair even with my soapy dishwater drips. I am a lovely woman. Who will come into my kitchen and be hungry for me?” (x)

Only a month until you’re home with me, I hope you’re hungry. 

All my love x

02/20 @ 4:50am

It’s only weaponized incompetence if the other person minds. I, however, do not mind. I loved that quote you sent me, going to be thinking about that one for a long time. I hate to tell you this, but I’m gonna be offline for a couple days. I hate that it’s at the end of your trip, but please please message me when you’re leaving/taking off and again when you land, you know I worry. Love you and am so unbelievably proud of you, kid! You killed it in London. Your Bradley

02/20 @ 7:03am

That’s okay, I totally understand. I’ll give you all the details on our next Facetime. In the meantime, I message you when I leave. Stay safe and love you, Bradley! x

02/23 @ 3:45pm

Taking off soon! I got an upgrade again, thankfully! And I made sure to put your new coat in my carry on - I don’t trust British Airways not to lose it! Taking an ativan again so hopefully I’ll sleep the entire flight - love you and talk soon!

02/24 @ 10:33pm

Just landed, slept through….90% of the flight! Apparently, there was bad turbulence, so probably for the best. Now, I know you would never have me deal with that my darling rocketman! Talk later - love you! x

02/25 @ 7:09pm

Feels kind of weird being back? I can’t quite get back into my routine. I’m not sure if it’s jet lag or something else? Feeling a little lost? x

02/26 @ 7:55pm

Bradley!!! You were so good, I’m so so proud of you! Max had everyone over at his place for us to watch you! We have quite the party here including my parents, Pete, Penny and Amelia, Natasha, Mickey and Cielo, Caroline, and Darcy. I’ll have to tell you about the parents meeting later. I wish you had been here for it, they took to each other like bees to honey. 

You looked tragically handsome, I practically had to hold back a moan when you were standing on the flight deck talking to Norah O’Donnell (is she as nice in person as she is on TV?). God, I want to ravish you, you sounded so fucking smart. You know like half the country is going to be in love with you now, right? I’ve got to get back to everyone, Max ordered dinner for us afterwards, but I had to email you as soon as you finished!

Just wanted to let you know how proud of you I am and how much I love you x

02/27 @ 5:09am

Thanks, kid. Sorry it took me a bit to respond, things have been getting a bit crazy, you know, now that I’m a celebrity and all? We’re winding down this training, so the next couple weeks are gonna be full of debriefs and paperwork, which means I should have a more stable schedule. Love you B

02/28 @ 11:48pm

Sometimes I wonder if you were here what would you do? Hold me? Love me? I never feel small except when I’m in your arms. x

02/29 @ 11:48pm

Some nights in bed, if I try really hard, I can imagine I’m laying down next to you. And it makes everything just a little easier. Bradley

03/01 @ 12:56am

I haven’t taken anything besides my fingers in months. You’re going to stretch me out so well when you get home. 

03/01 @ 7:19pm

And I’m gonna mark your ass pink for that comment. I can’t believe you sent that in the middle of the day. You getting yourself off at work? Dirty girl. 

03/01 @ 9:41pm

Never feels as good as when you do it. 

03/01 @ 10:01pm

And my hands pale in comparison to your pretty little cunt. You know that first time we slept together you were so fucking tight, I knew you hadn’t had a good fuck in ages. It gonna be like that again when I come home?

03/01 @ 10:05pm

Where are you going to have me first?

03/01 @ 10:06pm

In our bed, in our house, after you make me dinner in our kitchen. 

03/01 @ 10:09pm

Just over two weeks now, I can’t wait to see you. x

03/03 @ 5:55am

How you holding up, kid? You doing a little better this week work wise? Try and log off around 5 if you can. Don’t want you getting all worn down on me. 

They had us doing these war games yesterday that made me think of you. You would’ve walked circles around some of these other guys I swear. Think I can get a Facetime for us in a couple days? Probably will be our last one before I come home. Love you, B

03/03 @ 7:12am

Bradley! That's the best news I’ve had in ages! I can’t wait to see you! Definitely felt a little lost after coming back from London, but I hope my rut will be over soon? Tying things up with a client is always so lengthy and tedious. 

War games! ‘Would you like to play a game?’ I’d ask if you won, but no one ever wins in the art of war 😉Love you!

03/05 @ 8:54pm

So, here’s a new one. My mom called? She’s going to be stateside and wants to get lunch tomorrow. Could’ve done with a bit more warning, but apparently, she has a layover in San Diego on her way to New York to see my brother? I didn’t even know she was going to see him? I don’t even know if I want to see her? It’s funny, I can already tell you exactly how it’ll play out:

We’ll go to lunch at some sort of vegan restaurant, probably Donna Jean

She’ll make me pay

She’ll try to get me to use some sort of herb to promote weight loss since I’m looking a bit “pudgy” around the face

Though she’ll forget to ask about you, she’ll tell me about her latest string of failed relationships with bartenders and surf instructors in Canggu. Or is it Ubud? I genuinely don’t remember, she started in Ubud, but honestly my knowledge of Balinese geography is rudimentary at best 

She’ll ask how ‘that woman’ is doing as if Mary is just the woman my dad is seeing, not the woman who raised me and my brother

And finally, she’ll ask for money though betting is still open as to what for!

So, what do you say? Wanna put a wager on it? Your terms.

Love you! x

03/06 @ 6:30am

$100 she orders the caesar and makes you pay. I’m not even going to entertain the third parlay, pretty girl. Oddly feeling like she’s got a winner on her hands so yes she’ll talk about her new paramour. Does she really call Mary ‘that woman?’ And yes, without a question, she will ask you for money.

Your move my gorgeous girl,

Bradley

03/06 @ 7:49pm

I really wish you were here right now. She doesn’t even know me, but she somehow always manages to make me feel small. 

Caesar - no croutons 

I paid

Pudgy and frumpy, but she was hawking shakes not herbs

Failed relationship? No, she’s actually GETTING MARRIED

She did not ask about you much other than to say I need to watch my figure for you (see bullet point no. 3)

Mary was called ‘that woman’ six times before I stopped counting

She asked for money as a wedding present 

So, you didn’t get them all, but not a bad showing. Love you. Talk tomorrow on Facetime. x

03/07 @ 6:09am

God kid, I’m so sorry. She doesn’t know what she’s missing. Actually, I don’t even think she deserves to know what she’s missing. Did you talk to your dad or Mary about it? I know we’re talking later, but I just wanted you to have a message from me before you start your day. What’re you wearing to the office tomorrow? Have you worn that wrap dress lately? You know it’s one of my favorites and that I always love unwrapping it when you get home from the office. 

Can’t wait to see you tonight. All my love, Bradley

03/07 @ 9:55am

The dress doesn’t fit. My mom was right, I shouldn’t have gotten the french toast.

I’m planning on talking to dad and Mary later today before you and I have our Facetime. I know they’ll make me feel better, much like you have my darling boy, but it still feels pretty crummy. Especially since I’m sure she’s going to have wonderful time in New York with my brother 🙄 and I’ll have to hear all about it next time I talk to him. 

And I’m not sure if I’ve unpacked that dress yet! I’ll have to do some digging. Talk soon! x

03/10 @ 3:26am

We had a little baby. He was always giggling and laughing and we were making silly faces and he looked so small in your arms, Bradley. So small and little and he was ours. And then I turned around and he was toddling around the house and we were chasing him and his little legs were moving so quickly and we all wound up on the couch in a tangle of limbs, giggling under the blankets as we tickled him and he called you daddy. 

It wasn’t our house - or what will be our house, I guess? Instead of the leather couch you have, it was white and big and wide and the three of us could easily fit on it, snuggled together. 

And I could feel your arms around me, rocking me back and forth. I could feel you humming in my ear and kissing my neck and telling me you loved me. I could feel it. I could feel you. I could feel him and you. And it was nice and I felt warm and safe and cherished and loved. Because I felt so much love for this little boy in my arms - the perfect mix of me and you. Everything felt right and perfect. 

Except when I rolled over in bed to tell you about it, I realized I was alone in my bed, in my apartment, and not in the house that we shared or with the little boy that looked so much like you and I haven’t felt so empty and sad since I can’t remember when. 

And I just miss you so much, Bradley. I know I can come across as glib and unfeeling sometimes and like this doesn’t affect me as much. But it does and sometimes I feel like my heart is going to burst because I’ve never felt like this for anyone else before? It’s never been so easy for me to love someone and let them love me to the point that I always want to be beside them. And I know with your job - and mine - that can’t always happen, but god Bradley I wish you were here right now so you could hold me and tell me you loved me because I just want to feel your arms around me and know you’re real. I want to tell you about the little boy - the perfect mix of me and you. 

I love you rocketman x

03/11 @ 12:49pm

I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said anything. I realize that’s a lot to drop on you, especially since we can’t talk in person. I guess I’ve just never missed a person more in my life and seeing that future showed me what we could have when you come home. God, Bradley I want you to come home so badly. I want you to stay here with me forever and never leave and to have that cute little boy who was the perfect mix of me and you and to have you here in my arms every night. And I know it’s selfish of me to ask or even make you think about it, but I want you right here - in twenty seconds, not twenty years. 

How did your hop go today? x

03/11 @ 7:03pm

I have dreams like that, too. I’ll be little, but still older than I was when my dad died and we’ll be at the beach, running around, and he’ll pick me up and spin me around like I’m flying on an airplane. 

But then it’ll be me and my kid, running around and I’ll pick them up and spin them around like they’re flying on an airplane. Sometimes it’s a girl, sometimes a little boy. But I always just can feel and tell that I love them and I’d do anything for them. 

And I used to hate waking up alone after I had them and I’d feel empty and sad and like I had the feeling that they should still be there? Except now I have you and I know it doesn’t just have to be a dream?

Sorry it took me so long to reply. Today was hectic and I didn’t get to check my email until later. But if I checked it earlier, my day would’ve been a lot easier on my heart. 

All my love,

Your Bradley

03/12 @ 7:11pm

How do you always know exactly what to say? I’m sorry for springing that all on you, know it wasn’t exactly a quick/easy message, but I love that you knew exactly what I meant. My day’s always a lot easier on my heart when I hear from you, too. Love you x

03/13 @ 10:17pm

i miss having you around to take care of me. and telling me what to do and what to wear for you and how you want me and where you want me and when you want me and and and. and how good i feel around you as you come, how you take what’s yours. how i need you to take control and tell me what i need because i’m too much of a dumb slut to figure it out on my own. i need you so much bradley. and it’s so hard because i’m trying to take care of myself like you do and imagine what you’d do if you were with me right now. but i’m so frustrated since no one takes care of me like you do. i feel so empty. nothing stretches me out like you do, nothing makes me feel as small as you do, nothing makes me flush like the sound of your voice against my neck as i come, nothing soothes the ache inside me like you do. need you to call me good girl, pretty girl, sweet girl, anything as long as it’s yours. 

i need you i need you i need you i need you bradley bradley bradley bradley

3/13 @ 10:39pm

Awwww sweetheart, did you get yourself all worked up over me? It’s okay, I know it’s hard for you all by yourself. Must’ve been real bad for you to risk this getting flagged, huh? Poor thing, don’t worry, I’ll take care of you. 

Want you to pretend I’m next to you, leaning over you as you lay down and touch yourself. Say yes Bradley, more Bradley. Bradley, Bradley, Bradley. Good girl. 

Want you naked under the covers, no frilly little pajama set or anything. No, I want your cum to stain the sheets and then for you to have to clean up in the morning, all embarrassed because you did this. You made yourself like this because you can’t control yourself without me around. All that cum being wasted. Nobody around to lick it off your pussy. So what doesn’t get on the sheets, you have to taste. Good girl. 

Want you to use your fingers - only your fingers, I’ll know if you use anything else. Start with your breasts. Think of how perfectly they fit in my hands and how yours aren’t quite the same. They aren’t as big. Aren’t as strong. Play with your nipples, drag your nails across the soft skin on the underside of your breasts.

Want you to sigh my name as you slide your hands down your stomach towards your pretty little pussy. Have you shaved? Gotten a wax? You know how I like it, want it just like that when I get home. Pretend it’s my fingers sliding into your cunt. A few touches and you’re already clenching on air and I’m not even around. 

In and out, in and out. Circle your clit with your thumb. Add another finger, then another. You rocking your hips yet? I know you’re soaked. I know you want more. Three fingers can’t stretch you out nearly as much as you need. But I don’t know if you can handle anything else without me around. And I know you would never disagree with me, right? Because you’re my good girl and good girls do what they’re told. 

Don’t hesitate to get loud. You’re in our house, in our bed, you can be as loud as you want. Bet you’re getting close, huh? Try and last a little longer, can you hear yourself and how wet you are? Are you shaking yet? I know you’re close. Go ahead, speed up your fingers, just the way I do. It’s okay, you can come. Know you’re gonna get sleepy soon, wish I could sleep inside you, nice and tight.

Now say thank you Bradley. Good girl. 

03/14 @ 5:49pm

Thank you, Bradley. Thank you for taking care of me last night 

You like chicken piccata, right?

03/14 @ 7:33pm

Yeah, kid, I like chicken piccata. 

03/14 @ 7:39pm

Okay, that’s good. I’m going to make it when you come home. I ran it by my cooking instructor. Ina’s recipe of course. 

(I’ve read your email seven times since you sent it. I’ve thought about it constantly. I want you to take me softly and slowly that first time. But after that? I can’t wait to let go and float. Love you so much x)

03/15 @ 6:09am

You’re the boss. Good thing I’ll be home soon, you’re gonna run out of material. As is, I had to type that last one with one hand. 

Love you,

B

03/15 @ 7:21am

I’ll be good till you get home, promise. 

Have a good day, do you think we’ll get to talk much from now till Friday? Love you x

03/15 @ 7:24am

I’ll hold you to it. 

I don’t think so, might be able to send one out before leaving the boat. Better make it a good one. 

All my love

Your Bradley 

03/15 @ 7:25am

You got it! Love you bubs 

03/18 @ 11:08pm

Kid - there’s this lyric that keeps running through my head: ‘and I want you right here.’ I want you beside me - today, tomorrow, all my days. I want you right here, beside me forever. In twenty seconds, not twenty years. See you tomorrow.

All my love,

Your Bradley

03/18 @ 11:11pm

See you tomorrow, rocketman. I’ll be the one in blue.

Love you x

a/n: thanks for reading! i'll be back with part ii and part iii (hopefully not in...4 months). i had so much fun writing these and getting to explore a different format and side to their relationship! thanks to alexa @sometimesanalice, kylie @ofstoriesandstardust, cass @notroosterbradshaw, elle @dissonannce, nik @cherrycola27, and loren @heartsofminds for all the support!

[imabeautifulbutterfly]

Once Upon a Time on The Razor Crest

Summary: You and Din come to an agreement

A/N: Hello lovelies,

Another Friday, another part to the OUATOTRC. I do apologize if the chapters appear short, but with the crazy schedule for work, looking after my mom, I'd rather give short chapters than no chapters at all.

However, I am almost done the next section of Gym Membership, once it's completed I will be able to upload it, for you all. It'll be focusing on Crosshair.

I hope you all have a lovely weekend.

Love oo.

Due to the past history of the OC there will be discussions alluding to past domestic abuse, please note that as it could be a trigger for some.

Warning: mentions of past trauma, discussions of children, truth test, I think that's it. If I miss any please let me know.

AO3 Link |   Words: 1,016 |   Previous -> Next

Main Master List   |  Once Upon a Time on the Razor Crest

THE RAZOR CREST SEVEN

CHAPTER FIVE

There was no going back now that Din opened his mouth, “Why don’t we try it out for three months. Three months with no commitment or expectations. At the end, if either of us feel uncomfortable or we realize it’s not working, we move on. No harm done.”

“Really?” I couldn’t help the smile that broke out across my face.

“Yeah” he chuckled, matching my smile. “However there is still one hurdle you have to cross, and if you fail that, there’s nothing I can do. Fair?”

“Understood. What’s the final hurdle?”

“Oh well that’s for me to know and for you to find out. In the meantime, I’ll let you know our daily routine. We start every day at 5:30 a.m., no exceptions. My son has to be up that early for me to get him ready, fed, and off to school.”

“Even on the weekends?”

“Even on the weekends.”

“How old is your son?”

“Six”

“Grade One, right?”

“Yeah, you have kids?” Din tilted his head at the woman who surprised him.

“No”

“You good with kids?”

“Haven’t really been around them much” the experience I did have couldn’t even really amount to experience. My hand itched to rub my womb, the past making another appearance in my mind. Stop it. Focus.

Din simply nodded, it was a fair and honest answer, again she surprised him, “Lunch is usually around noon or one or sometimes not at all, depending on what I’m doing and where I am. Grogu usually gets home by four, we tend to eat dinner by six, and he’s promptly in bed by eight or nine, on the weekends I’ll let him stay up till about ten.”

“Understood”

“It’s a bit strict the timing, but I find it works best for him. He’s a bit of a hyper kid, always trying to get into trouble.”

Huh, that was different from what Cobb said, but then it wasn’t my place to say anything, “I get it, I was like that as a kid”

“Tell me something about yourself, if you’re going to be staying here, I would like to at least known something about the woman who will be looking after my son”

Made sense, as much as I didn’t want to reveal too much about my past and about myself in general, Din strangely made me feel safe. It was such an odd feeling, but a welcome one. 

“Umm… not much to tell, I’m 30. Single, obviously. Grew up on Saleucami, and just started moving around, basically that’s it.” To a degree what I said was true, certainly not gonna tell him what my name really was, that was more for his and his son’s safety.

“Where in Saleucami? My brother use to be stationed there”

“Oh nice, I lived closer to the mountainous regions of Saleucami”

“I think that’s where my brother was, he always mentioned a burger joint that was out there, that only the locals know”

“Eopie Burger” I responded, nodding my head.

“Yeah, pretty decent burgers he said”

“That is if you’ve never been to BurgerNuna. Awesome burgers, but then you also have Hamburger Nexu, those guys know how to layer. Anything else you want to test me on?” I smirked, I had a lot of fond memories of Saleucami; at least that was before I ended up on Coruscant and the nightmare my life turned into shortly after. 

“You catch on quick, gotta respect you for that” Din couldn’t help smirk at her, he didn’t think a city brat would’ve caught on to his test, but she saw right through his question. He had to hand it to her, she was starting to grow on him. 

I could understand why Din was being cautious, “Hey I get it, you have a six-year-old, I’m a stranger who walked in off the street with no credentials, no background, and you’re supposed to take my word for it. I would be cautious too.”

“Thanks.” Din took a moment to decide if he was going to go through with this, he didn’t get any sort of evil intentions coming from her, and Vanth would never allow anyone who could be a danger to eitherof them to come to his home, “Alright I guess I should show you to the room we prepared for whoever was going to take the job. It’s down here on the main floor. Family rooms are upstairs. I hope you don’t mind.”

“Not at all, totally get it.” 

Din stood motioning for her to follow him. He didn’t believe a single thing she told him, but she was genuine about being from Saleucami, or at the very least was genuine about living there. He’d have to talk to Vanth later about who this woman truly was; he had a feeling she was one of Cobb’s special people, he pushed it to the back of his mind. 

The entrance to her room was just off the main hallway that connected to the foyer, “It’s just back here, the room isn’t overly furnished or anything, just basics,” Din opened the door turning on the light, “My brother stays here from time to time, so if you do find something … unsavoury, I apologize. I did clean it from top to bottom, but you know sometimes things get missed.”

I looked around the room, it was cozy, like he said it wasn’t overly furnished, but cozy. The fireplace was covered in white brick on the south wall, the window on the west side of the room was wide enough that you could sit and read on it if you wanted to, but it was in need of a cushion or something. There was a desk in the corner with a landline communicator, the bed on the opposite side of the fireplace was a nice full sized bed. The walls were a soft comforting grey colour with an accented yellow wall. 

The room was so different from all the cramped and shared spaces I’d been living in the past few years. It brought a tear to my eye.

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[heeheesang]

practice makes perfect? not really

slow dance ☆°`~

"class dismissed!" professor lim yelled loudly as the school bell rang. the girl next to me, yuri, immediately got up with her little minions and her minions gathered around her, making her look presentable.

"move, bitches! i need to talk to him!" yuri yelled and everyone made way for her, including me because i wanted to see how heeseung was going to react.

as soon as she got to him, i waited at the door for a while, squatting and listening to their conversation.

"heeseung... the famous year two, basketball captain and main dancer. i'm oh yuri, famous year one, not really into sports but i'm into you." oh god i wanted to gag.

"yeah... i'm heeseung. i'm actually waiting for my girlfriend, so if you don't mind—"

"who's your girlfriend? is she prettier than me?"

"she actually is, she's your seat partener." oh no. did heeseung want hell to break loose on me?!

"you mean... you mean kang kyojin? the lame kid? the loser?"

"hey! you're in no position to call her a loser, take a look at your makeup before saying anything. you don't suit red lipstick, you definitely should touch up on your eyeliner and fix that fake mole of yours."

oh wow, well played lee heeseung. but how am i ever gonna face yuri ever again?! once she left, i stood up in front of heeseung and shocked him. he rubbed the back of his neck while i stared at him, punching his arm playfully.

"really?! girlfriend?! couldn't say your contact or future?"

"you wanna be my girlfriend?"

i left him there and ran off to the dance room, tripping a lot on the way there but i balanced myself quickly and ran away from him, hiding behind changmin once i arrived.

"go away!" i yelled from behind changmin, using him as my shield while heeseung tried to tackle me.

"why me, god." changmin whined.

soon enough, heeseung gave up and placed his bag down. or so i thought, as soon as i got off changmin because he went to buy a drink, he ran to me and started tickling my sides, resulting in us laying down on the floor next to each other. my body was facing him because i still had my bag on and he was laying down on his back.

"i feel like we're gonna get really close, kyojin."

"me too, lee."

going over the dance again was like torture being repeated several times on spotify. i was losing it, literally. it's like the sixth time going through the dance and my legs were collapsing, thank god for heeseung being atrong enough to pick me up each time i slipped.

"are you really okay kyo? we could rest if you want to?" heeseung asked as soon as the dance was finished, sitting me down on the floor and miss jang came along.

"good work both of you. remember, this is really tiring but it'll be worth it for next next weeks competition okay! you can do this, fighting!" i gave a small smile before my eyes slowly closed and the next thing i knew, i had a dream about running on melted ice cream.

"kyojin~ kyo~ earth to kyo~"

i opened my eyes in a familiar bright environment, "break was over an hour ago, it's time to get home, c'mon." heeseung joked, packing my items and his items.

the dance room.was completely left empty, it was just heeseung and i. i quickly got up and stretched a little, "could we do the dance one last time? it's okay if you—"

"let's do it." he put his items down and i recorded the whole dance, trying to get a grip of how i was at the moment with the dance and how i could improve in the next two weeks.

"thank you, hee." i yawned as we left the room and got to the bus stop.

"it's no problem really. what time did you sleep last night?"

"around one am, i was really, trying to improve in my biology..."

"kyojin... you could've asked me you know. you should really sleep early tonight, get all the rest you need. you don't even have to text me if you're home already, just get your rest."

i nodded and we soon boarded the bus together, eventually i fell asleep again.

a/n : aw heekyo!

seven | nine

chapters

[sunnyie-eve]

12 | It's not her

Series: Indispensable | Teen Wolf

Paring:  (Stiles Stilinski x OFC Martin)

Word Count: 2.5k

A/N: Might be a few mistakes

| MASTERLIST |

~~~

"Julia." Lydia calls me as I walk into the house. 

"Yes?" I walk into her room to see she's been crying. 

"Can we talk?" She asks so I take a seat on her bed. 

"Sure." I tell her. 

"What's going on with me? I feel like I'm going crazy? I keep seeing things" She breaks down. 

"Start from the beginning, Lydia." I pat her knee. 

"You know I wondered around naked in the woods... I keep seeing Peter Hale at school then ice rink under the ice. Then I punch a mirror without knowing. Mom and Dad are making me see the guidance counselor now." She cries to me. 

"Wait, you're getting visions of Peter?" I ask her confused. 

"I don't know why. But it feels like he's actually in front of me." She tells me but I didn't know what to say.

I had no idea if she was just really traumatized or her Banshee was going now and he somehow was getting to her. "It'll stop after sometime. You went through a lot." I just tell her. 

"You know, how you seem crazy at times... have you ever experienced seeing things?" She asks me. 

"Never but I've experienced different crazy things." I sigh. 

"Thank you for listening to me. I'm sorry I've always made fun of you for acting like this." She gives me a hug. 

"It's okay and of course. You're still my sister Lydia. I miss our talks." I hug her back. 

"Me too." She squeezes me. 

"Get some rest or you'll look a mess tomorrow morning." I kiss her forehead getting up. 

"Love you Julia." She smiles. 

"Love you too."

This morning Lydia gave me a ride to school and was gossiping to me but I wasn't listening because I didn't care. "You have no idea what I'm saying do you?" She turns to me. 

"Nope." I give her a smile. 

"There's my sister." She giggles walking ahead of me. 

"You look nice today." I hear Isaac's voice. 

"You're back? I thought you were still-," 

He cuts me off, "Jackson's story sorta changed after some talking..." He lets out a cocky chuckle. 

"Well, I mean that's sorta good... for you of course. I mean, you didn't kill your father and no longer have to be looked at." I say eyeing him.

"Like what you see?" He smirks stepping slightly closer to me. 

"New look. The bite gave you some confidence I see." I look up at him. 

"Yeah, I don't feel as weak anymore. It's nice." 

I just nod my head, "Well, Mr. cool guy, we still have class to get to. Or are you too bad ass for that now?" I cross my arms. 

"I like the attitude. It's new." He steps closer making me step back. 

"No, it's not. You just don't know me personally." I turn to walk to class and he follows closely. 

"You've never used that attitude here at school before. You've always been quite and awkward. Why suddenly show your true self." He bends down some. 

"I've noticed being friends with Scott and Stiles, I'm more open now." I look at him. 

"I like seeing who Julia Martin really is." He nudges me.

"How's the other Martin sister? Still a snake? Or is she acting slightly different?" He makes me stop walking. 

"Why exactly are you talking to me? And why suddenly start asking me questions about Lydia?" I tilt my head confused. 

"Just curious like Derek." He walk into the classroom. 

"Like Derek?" I say to myself then go in taking my seat behind him leaning forward. "Why is Derek curious about my sister?" I ask him. 

"She was bit by an alpha and didn't turn into a werewolf. Aren't you curious too?" He turns to face me leaning on my desk as well making me lean back some.

"No because in the past I was bit by an alpha too when I was 10. I didn't turn into a werewolf." I let him know.

"Why's that?" He narrows his eyes at me. "What are you then?" The corner of his mouth goes up.

"None of your business but my sister isn't a Kanima. I know that's 100% true because I'm not one, Isaac. And let me add... If you're thinking about testing the venom on her... it's not gonna work if she's what I am. It didn't work on me. Maybe Derek forgot that part from the pool." I narrow my eyes at him.

"Julia Martin, people don't know what they're missing." He eyes me before giving me a wink and turning around.

Scott comes in seeing Isaac and stares at him. When Stiles comes in rushing to the the news, Scott tells him we already know.

After class Stiles tells us why he could find online about what a Kanima is. "That thing was not a jaguar." Scott tells him. 

"Yeah, and I'm not exactly a murderer." Stiles tells him as we walk. 

"Yeah, but you did see it kill somebody, which is probably why it tries to kill you. And it's still trying to kill you, and it probably won't stop until you're dead." Scott makes Stiles stop walking for a second. 

"You know, something I really begin to question this friendship." Stiles start to walk again making me laugh. "Shut it." Stiles smacks my arm as we head to class. 

In class when the bell rang, Jackson takes his seat that happened to be beside me. "Hey, testicle left and right, and dick." He calls the boys and me making us look up from our books, "What the hell is a Kanima?" He says making us look back at him.

"All right, listen up. Quick warning before we begin our review. Some of you, like. McCall, might wanna start their own study groups, because tomorrow's midterm is so profoundly difficult, I'm not even too sure I could pass it. Okay, I need a volunteer to answer the first question." Coach tells us. 

I listen to the guys talk and Jackson talks about being paralyzed from the neck down because of Derek. "Do they think it's Lydia?" Stiles asks and I cut Jackson off.

 "Yes. That's what Isaac told me." I lean over to them. 

"I head her name and something about chemistry." Jackson tells them. 

"Jackson! Do you have something you wanna share with the rest of the class?" Coach asks him. "Um, just undying admiration for my...my coach." Jackson lies. 

"That's really kind of you. Now shut up! Shut it! Anybody else?" He walks away and Scott grabs Stiles talking about are they sure it's not Lydia. 

"It's not her!" I whisper yell at them hitting my desk.

"Julia." Coach looks over at me. 

"Sorry." I look away and notice Lydia writing somebody help me over and over in the board with tears. I get up from my seat and walk over to her ignoring coach asking me what I was doing. "Lydia." I carefully touch her and she snaps out of it panicking. 

She turns to look at the board, "It was him again." She whispers to me. 

"Just go back to your seat." I take the chalk from her and put it on the board then go back to my seat. 

For our next class which was chemistry, we had to do rotation experiments and we wanted to stay with Lydia to keep her stare from Erica and Isaac. Turns out the venom didn't work on her either so after class the guys, Allison and me meet up to talk. "Derek's outside waiting for Lydia." Scott tells us. 

"Waiting to kill her?" Allison asks. 

"If he thinks she's the Kanima, then yes, especially after what happened at the pool." Scott says.

"It's not her." Stiles tells him. 

"Stiles, she didn't pass the test, man. Nothing happened." Scott says so Stiles huffs glancing over at me. 

"The Kanima scratch me at the pool and nothing happened to me." I speak up confusing Scott. 

"I was confused too just like she was." Stiles adds. 

"It doesn't matter if it's her or not because Derek thinks it's her. So either we can convince him that he's wrong, or we've gotta figure out a way to protect her." Allison says so I exit the room going outside to find Derek. 

"What makes you think it's Lydia? Because the venom didn't work? Well, it didn't for me. I'm not letting you or your stupid pack kill my sister. She's not some homicidal snake. She's most likely like me but she's getting visions of Peter that are terrifying her." I explain to him but see he doesn't care. "If you hurt her..." I scoff walking off.

"Where did you go?" Stiles sees me as I walk down the hall. 

"Went out to Derek." I keep walking but he grabs my arm pulling me back. 

"You went out there alone?!" He look at me like I was crazy. 

"Yeah, so?" I tell him. 

"What if he hurt you?" His eyes scan my face. 

"He wouldn't." I sigh. 

"You don't know that. You don't know him. He could've had Boyd, Isaac, or Erica hurt you instead." He lists the three. 

"I was nice to Isaac and Erica before they were turned. I doubt they would hurt me." I add. 

"Julia, can you just think what if they did." He sighs.

"Then I would've gotten hurt but I'm not. You can stop worrying about me and worry about Lydia." I remove my arm from him. 

"You're doing it again." He follows me. 

"Doing what?" I ask not looking back at him. 

"You know exactly what I'm talking about." I stop to face him. 

"Well, this time I can because Lydia is the priority. Not me."

Later when school was over we lie to Lydia saying we were having a study group and she was super confused. We all get in Stiles Jeep going to Scott's house and she was still confused especially with Stiles locking up. "Uh, there's been a few break-ins around the neighborhood." He tell her then puts a chair under the door knob making her raise an eyebrow. "And a murder. Yeah, it was bad." He says in the awkward silence making me throw my head back as Jackson takes Lydia away to talk. 

"You couldn't have gone any smoother." I give him a thumbs up. 

"Shut up, please." He gives me a sarcastic smile. 

"Maybe. I'll think about it." I send him a wink. 

"Can you elaborate on why the venom doesn't work on you as well?" Allison speaks up causing us to look at her then at each other. "Do you know something we don't Stiles?" She asks him.

"No, like I said, she was just as confused as well." Stiles lies to her. 

"I don't know how to explain why but it's true." I tell her going to look out the window. 

"How long are you gonna keep your secret from her and Scott?" Stiles stands next to me whispering. 

"I don't know. I just really want to know and understand what I am before... Like why? Why did a bite from an alpha waken this in me? I'd like to understand everything to help Lydia out if she's just like me. I know she's not the Kanima. She might be terrible at times but that much. If it's anyone it's Jackson. Derek bit him and nothing happened to him. What if the venom worked on him because he doesn't know what he is. Like Derek said when it saw it's reflection it didn't know." I sigh keeping my eyes focused on the outside.

"You're probably right but we're all too stupid to even think of that. Plus you always seem to be right... So I believe you." Stiles says so I look at him and slightly smile. 

"That's a first hearing that." I look back out and we the other. "We need Scott." I say so Allison calls him. 

As we wait we keep looking out at them and Allison wanted to call her dad. "Allison. You don't need your dad. You can do this by yourself." I say so she gets her bow. 

"I got an idea. Just shoot one of 'em." Stiles tells her. 

"Are you serious?" She tells him. 

"We told Scott we could protect ourselves, so let's do it. Or at least give it a shot, right? Look, they don't think we're gonna fight, so if one of them gets hit, I guarantee they'll take off. So just shoot one of 'em." He tells her so she asks which one so Stiles says Derek. 

"No, he'll definitely catch the arrow." I tell him. 

"Just shoot one of the other three them." He tells her and she corrects him saying two so we look.

"Where the hell is Isaac?" I ask and he comes up knocking Allison to the side then does the same to Stiles. I grab the chair whacking it in Isaac's back breaking it as Allison rushes to Lydia. 

"That didn't hurt." He turns to face me so Stiles gets a broken piece to hit him with so Isaac knocks him down again. 

"I know what will hurt." I jump onto his back grabbing a handful of his hair yanking hard as I can making him groan in pain. He walks around as I yank in different directions till he backs up into the wall hard hitting my back and my hard making me get off him as Scott shows up kicking his ass. 

"Thanks for helping me." Stiles helps me stand up. 

"No problem." I groan standing up straight as Scott throws the two out so we all head outside with him.

"I think I'm finally getting why you keep refusing me, Scott. You're not an Omega, you're already an Alpha of your own pack. But you know you can't beat me." Derek tells Scott. 

"I can hold you off until the cops get here." Scott says because we all hear hissing above is so we move to see the Kanima. 

"Would someone please tell me what the hell is going on?" Lydia marches out of the house. 

"It's Jackson." Scott looks off where he went. 

Stiles puts his hand up for a high five told me so I give him one, "Told you you were probably right and I trusted you." He tells me. 

"What?" Scott looks at us. 

"She said a if it's anyone it's Jackson. Derek bit him and nothing happened to him. What if the venom worked on him because he doesn't know what he is. Like Derek said when it saw it's reflection it didn't know." Stiles tells him. 

"Allison, take the sisters home. We got Jackson." Scott tells her so we leave.

We we get to our house I get out wanting to get in the house. "Does my own sister what to tell me what's going on?" Lydia comes into my room. "Derek? Jackson? Erica?" She crosses her arms. 

"I truthfully don't think you're exactly ready to know the truth. You're going through something right now and those three aren't going to be any help. It's very complicated but I will explain everything to you soon." I sigh.

[ventilation4thesoul]

The session went well, he said a lot of false things that are upsetting, but our therapist seems really nice and good. We're going to be going once a week, I'm really hopeful. Like I feel like shit and we have a lot to work on, but at least we're starting.

He also said that he genuinely considers me his soulmate. Which feels good to know he feels that way. I have .. mixed feelings as of right now. I definitely want a future with her, I can picture it, I want it. But as of right now, I have a LOT of hurt to work through. And hopefully open po's eyes to how badly *I* was treated by them. And to see where I am coming from, instead of labeling me an abuser with false information. But like.... We'll work through it.

She gave us homework, which I think will help. And we're taking a break from our talk tonight too. Still saying goodnight, and if anything needs said we can, but overall not gonna be chatting today. I think that's a good thing.

We hugged like 4 times. It was nice to hug and feel him again. She even nuzzled me at the end, answer held each other really really closely. I cried a lot too. Bleh. But when we were finally ready to leave, we just stared at each other while we were still hugging and I felt my heart break bc I wanted a kiss so badly. I didn't want to ask, but just as I was about to Po asked me. I said yes, of course. Reached my hand up to her cheek, and we had a kiss. It wasn't long, we didn't go beyond that threshold. But we kissed. I missed her lips so much.

My hearts achy, but I know that we'll figure this out, and if it ends it'll end on good terms. I'm scared of being too hopeful and getting my heart broken again. But I'm going to be working towards being more optimistic about things.

She gave me a necklace that was left there, one of my favourites actually, the 2 cats. They said they tried it on but it didn't fit her sadly, but that it felt nice to wear it for a second, and that they'd like something like that maybe, in the future. I'm thinking of putting the second ring in a chain for her. Something that can be a small reminder, not too heavy, goes with most things.... I'll pitch the idea tonight or tomorrow maybe, we'll see.

[taiblogcomics]

Fights and Delights

Hey there, anachronistic tacos. It's September now! Countdown is still going! Do you see now? Do you begin to see how this was as a weekly series? And this is me being diligent about it! I genuinely don't know if there were any delays or what have you. I know that 52, for all its splendor, missed a deadline or two in its still very impressive run. And I know that because the trades for it include a lot of supplementary materials, including stuff by the writers about behind-the-scenes work. What do the Countdown trades (which I am reading this from) have? Nothin'. Because Countdown sucked, and they know it sucked, so they cheaped the trades out as much as they could~

Here's the cover:

All right, it's no secret I've been harsh on more than a few covers in this series. But it's this series, so can you blame me? Now this one, though, this is a cool cover! I will absolutely give it that--if Batman actually appears in the issue. That's my caveat! In fact, I will make you a deal. As long as there are no other outstanding major issues (e.g. character deaths), I will give this issue a full pass if Batman is actually in it. If they're just putting Batman on the cover to bank off his personality, it fails. That's the deal, man. The total deal.

So, in the recap, Pied Piper and Trickster are on the run for murdering the Flash and hid out in Gotham, where they're confronted by Deathstroke (not Batman). Donna Troy and Jason Todd are searching the multiverse for Ray Palmer, and are held captive by a magical queen (not Batman). Mary Marvel, in pursuit of magical power, is expelled from her apprenticeship by Zatanna (not Batman). Karate Kid and Una are searching for answers and fought a '90s reject (not Batman). Holly Robinson is recruited by Athena's women's shelter to fight in a gladitorial arena (not against Batman). And Jimmy Olsen takes his new superpowers to the Justice League and is rejected (including by Batman). Now let's get into today's issue (with or without Batman).

So, remember two issues ago where Trickster and Piper tried to pass themselves off as in Deathstroke's employ to escape from Poison Ivy, only for Deathstroke to show up and call their bluff as a cliffhanger? And then the previous issue didn't even feature their subplot? I hope that anticipation and build-up was worth it, because we open today's issue with Deathstroke having beaten them up off-screen. Seriously. Slade must be getting paid by the minute, because he is in one panel in this entire series. "What was even the point" is the tagline for this whole series, but it feels especially fitting here~

So anyway, Piper and Trickster got beat up by Deathstroke, who then tied them up, hung them upside down, and pointed the Bat-Signal to shine on them. So page two does fulfill its promise of Batman, as he shows up where the Bat-Signal is being shone, as he always does. Like Bat-moths to a Bat-flame. Batman's about to pull them up and Bat-interrogate them when they disappear. We then see they got whisked away by the Flash--not the one they killed, but I believe this one is Wally, who has returned from the Speed Force he got stuck in during Infinite Crisis. Batman notes that they're probably in for even a worse time than he was gonna give 'em.

Hey, do you remember how this whole series started? With Duela Dent's murder, and Jimmy Olsen trying to write an article about it? Well, Jimmy suddenly did. Now that he's been rejected from the Justice League, he's back to square one. He reasons that there must be some connection between the murders of Duela, Lightray, and Sleez. To that end, he's visiting DC's resident tech genius, John Henry Irons (AKA Steel). He's got a bio-feedback scanner, and Jimmy's hoping it'll tell him more about his powers. And true to form, if you didn't read Steel's or his daughter Natasha's parts in 52 or Infinity Inc., you probably don't know why he has this.

We cut away from that back to Wally having hauled Piper and Trickster out of Gotham and to Keystone City. To Bart Allen's grave, specifically. Naturally, he's furious. See, both Trickster and Piper had reformed some years ago and were allies in the pages of Wally's own series. So not only did they participate in Bart's murder, they betrayed his trust to do so. So he's even madder about this than he is at the actual villainous Rogues like Mirror Master or Weather Wizard. Mad enough that he won't hear them out, he just starts beating the hell out of them.

Over with the Multiverse Crew, Donna Troy and Jason Todd got captured by a fairy-tale queen, Ryan Choi (the only non-white character in this whole story) got turned into a bug, and Bob the Monitor got thrall'd. Queen Who-Cares amuses herself by turning Ryan back and forth from bug to human, and when Donna comes for her, she uses Bob to blast her away. She's very interested in Bob's ability to move between realities, figuring this will be of great help to her once the Great Disaster strikes. And when Donna gets up again, she calls in her bug squad to have a fight scene.

Speaking of fight scenes, we check back in with Athena's combat arena. Holly Robinson's still squaring off against the combatant in the comedy mask. Holly reveals her secret of how she's survived on the streets for so long: there's no such thing as a fair fight. If you find yourself in a situation where you have to cheat, do it, coz your opponent would do the same. So she manages to get around behind Funny Face and start choking her out with her whip. Funny Face does a scorpion kick to break free, and Athena calls the match. She deems both of them worthy, and Holly's opponent removes the mask to reveal she was Harley Quinn all along! Gee, who could have guessed~?

Mary Marvel, meanwhile, is not in a fight scene. In fact, where she is is actually kind of funny. She's in a marketplace in China called Chung Ling Soo Square. And when I went to look that up to see if it was real (given DC's track record of having over a dozen fictional major cities in the US alone), it turns out Chung Ling Soo was an American stage magician in the late 1800s who performed in yellowface. Like, you get the connection as a magical person, so he has a magical market named for him. But you probably won't find many places named after him in real-world China. Anyways, I think that's some fun trivia for you.

Oh yeah, where were we? Mary Marvel, magical marketplace. Wandering around in her black latex cheerleading uniform, she looks a little out of place in the Asian mysticism-themed stuff. Naturally, the only other person who also super stands out notices her. It's Klarion the Witchboy! Klarion's a fucking delight whatever he's in, the scheming blue-skinned Puritan. He and Mary have a friendly chat, which is mostly all Klarion assessing both Mary's magical ability and naivete, after which he binds her in a bubble and plans to sell her on the market himself. See? Dastardly~

Meanwhile, Una and Karate Kid have finally met with this Mister Orr that Oracle recommended they seek out. That dingus Equus is nowhere to be seen, thank god. Orr asks if they're familiar with the OMAC Project (which resurfaced in the leadup to Infinite Crisis). Whatever Karate Kid is infected with, it bears a resemblance to the OMAC virus. So Orr suggest they track down Buddy Blank, the guy who invented OMACs. And as they leave, Orr calls up a mysterious silhouette, reporting he did as was asked by sending them to Buddy. The silhouette replies that his master will be most pleased. And on the other side of the screen? Desaad, rearranging Darkseid's chess set again.

Back over with Jimmy and John Henry, the machine is showing a visualisation of what's going on with Jimmy. More specifically, it's showing a projection of the Source Wall, the mysterious barrier at the edge of the universe. Jimmy's also getting that classic sci-fi trope of his head swelling painfully from having too much info in it. A brief projection of the multiverse also appears. The machine is overloaing, and Jimmy's brain is projecting it back, catching them in an overload feedback loop. Steel has to smash the machine to turn it off, another classic sci-fi trope. Whatever's going on with Jimmy, Steel can't even determine it.

So for the final page of this issue, we return to Wally beating up Piper and Trickster. Once he's satisfied, he asks them what they were babbling about in regard to a "secret mission". Piper and Trickster state that they were only with Inertia and the other Rogues to act as spies. From there, they found out Poison Ivy, Deathstroke, and other villains are planning to attack Green Arrow's wedding (another well-publicised event at the time). How or where they got this info isn't explained here, so it must've happened in the same off-screen fight with Deathstroke. Wally considers this, then starts pulling on their handcuffs. The ones that will electrocute them if strained too far. The comic ends with Wally's face in shadow, stating they deserve to die for killing Bart.

So! As promised, I'm officially declaring this a good issue. It paid off that Batman appearance, even if not as excitingly as the cover. But I think it deserves the title for other reasons, too. We got to see Klarion the Witchboy, we learned a little about American stage magic in the 1880s, we used some funny GIFs in the review. Equus wasn't in it. All that's good!

Which is not to say even a mostly enjoyable issue is not without its, well, issues. The cliffhanger with Deathstroke concluding off-screen and introduction of new info about Green Arrow's wedding is very badly written and baffling (probably happened in a tie-in, but the comic doesn't even include a little "see issue #whatever of Countdown: The Tie-In!" box to tell you where). Ryan Choi gets constantly mistreated, as is a common thing in his history. And you start to see how Karate Kid's storyline will play out: it's a long fetch quest. He will track down a person, who will tell him to go see another different person. This will continue until the end of the series. So, like, strap in.

Still, no one died, and the comic didn't lie about having Batman. That's basically all I asked! It's sad when that's the minimum~

[sincelastsession]

Vent post. Take with grain of salt.

My articulation is not how I wanted it to come out and so idfk if it'll read right. Just understand I'm not trying to act like a bitch. I'm processing.

I was gonna get food but now I feel like I can't fucking eat. I feel once again completely misunderstood and it's really frustrating.

I feel like assumptions etc are constantly made. I'm not even known yet. Have the charts for all the work I have done been found?

Am I just bad at being a person.

Sure I'd love to have a magical fix it medication but I'm on xanax (nessesary not only for psych but for other issues) and I smoke weed for pain and ptsd. It's highly unlikely I'll ever get Adderall to function unless I stop the weed. The weed is primarily for servere chronic pain. I used to get punished for CRYING so I'm not really ever showing how much I hurt.

I understand a conversation is turn taking. I am worried about time. I'm worried about being misunderstood. I feel rejected. Idk perhaps it was the delivery. I'm triggered. It just feels like the same as everyone else tired of me and when they tell me I'm too much. There's people that don't who have no problem with me being myself just talking how I talk. I understand it's not conducive to every situation. I don't like how this lack of hunger and anger and irritation and frustration is the result of that. Because how do I know I've been understood. How do I trust that?

It's incredibly hard for me to even be open enough to process it via writing in this blog.

I get it and I don't get it.

I really wish I could get my charts to save a hell of a lot of time. Yeah there's urgency for me. I never feel like I have time.

I miss my old psychiatrist because this shit wouldn't be happening. I'd be able to take my med and he would be brave enough to speak to the medical board.

I think a lot of people think I'm trying to discount how hard I'm struggling just being a person doing normal things. My executive dysfunction is terrible.

As far as meds go I've been on EVERYTHING and it's quite possible some of those meds contributed to fucking me up. I see a geneticist. I've had medical testing done. I have genetic mutations that cause me issues with a whole mess of medications.

I'd have to stop taking certain thinks to do the ket treatments and with my cptsd I'm not sure that that is a good idea. I don't want to experience side effects or an adverse reaction. I've almost died enough. I'd LOVE to try a SGB or TMS but my insurance doesn't cover it.

The sheer amount of adrenaline rush I felt and what I was able to absorb is not great. Just being told that even though no harm was meant was super triggering because it's not something I've been able to easily fix. The sheer amount of energy I'm putting into managing other things while I'm trying to listen etc I wish I could get someone to understand.

Idk if there's a different way it can be looked at. I'm not trying to be ride or take the session over. I know it's best intentions but honestly it felt like criticism and a cognitive distortion like an assumption directed at me. I understand that I'm not easy. But understand I don't have control over it fully. I don't always feel like im driving this fuckin flesh prison.

It is frustrating to have a brain that goes incredibly fast.

It's frustrating to feel completely rejected even tho I was told that's not what it was it still feels that way because it's very hard for me to trust anyone fully.

It's frustrating to be at a loss for words.

I do feel like I need to defend myself. Because shit I'm so fucking tired of hearing how I'm difficult basically. No it's not easy for everyone to talk to me an no not everyone can wrap their brain around what I'm experiencing.

I just feel gross. I want to eat I went to get food but now I'm sitting in a fucking parking lot with a cop staring at me as I cry and vent and feel overwhelming feelings.

You know it's not just family that hasn't heard or seen me. It's been therapists and doctors etc...

So that is related to trauma.

This is a controversial opinion of mine but I truly feel sometimes that a therapist will think they have me figured out and they don't, I feel like this process happens way too fast. I didn't even notice a cue or get a chance to jot down a reminder. I'm trying to listen to listen. I was trying to save time. I was trying to communicate.

I needed to talk about other things. But I feel like I've just been told everything I'm doing and saying us wrong and that is generally what people do to me when I try to speak.

It feels so shitty.

It takes forever to regulate when people point shit out that I'm aware im doing but can't really control. Like yes I get it. It does make things hard.

I feel that ppl think I'm trying to shoot down everything but this isn't new to me. I'm not trying to be defensive or whatever it looks like. I'm just trying to communicate before the thought poofs from my brain or save ppl the trouble of telling me shit that I'm completely aware of. I don't really plan to fuck up and interrupt etc it just happens and I don't feel that I have full control over that.

I am pissed because I'd really like to get my damn files from the last therapist I'd made headway with.

I originally thought I'd be doing emdr which we've discussed you aren't certified in.

I don't want to quit therapy. I'm scared I'll get the talk and it feels like I'm already about to be discarded so quickly.

Do I have proof that any of this is true? No.

It's just currently how I feel.

I had plans the rest of the day and now I can't even think to figure out where I needed to go and what to do. I can't pick a food. I'm not wanting to go to the post office. I feel like I'm shutting down.

I do have a suggestion that may actually help because I'm not sure if you know how you came across visually when you spoke to me.

I notice patterns I see micro expressions. I can see anger in people even if it's more a frustration.

So idk maybe put a mirror up and look at how the body language etc may come across. Or better yet perhaps say it to yourself in the mirror.

Look I'm probably still coming across in a way that will be misinterpreted or would be by someone else.

I don't want to build resentment so I'm sharing my CURRENT feelings which are subject to change.

I wish you could understand what's going on in my brain and could just magically understand but it takes time with me.

And yeah I'm always worried about everything.

I'm worried you'll read this along with everything else and just be like OH GOD NOPE

A Tree can't describe the Forest.

I have trouble wording things so sometimes also when I've got it in my head worded well and I'm telling people and I get chided even gently even just someone pointing out that I've interrupted and that is so triggering because it took me so long to try to figure out how to word it and then it goes unheard everyone feels unheard there's this mess and it's my fault and the import thing is gone. I get tongue tied. I stutter. I have trouble articulating sometimes.

I'll try to continue to not fuck up but I already feel I have with this post with my reaction with the obvious frustration which is not invalid because I know you're trying to help.

This is similar to how I react to my mom and dad via text but honestly 1000x nicer.

I don't even feel like I've said anything right in this post.

I feel like I'm completely not understood.

I understand locus of control. I don't feel that I even have a full locus of control though.

When you have autonomy when you first develop it and it's suddenly under micromanage control and you grow up with passive neglectful controlling fucking insane people who do the same shit you get fussed at about it's really hard.

I don't feel like a whole person. I feel like I'm just the manager or the pilot. Idfk where my core is my inner child etc. I know that I age regress sometimes. I know I do a ton of things but I'm not always in the driver's seat.

I don't understand myself either. I feel like parts of me are in charge of various things.

I hate this entry.

I just feel shame. I just want to hide.

Maybe I should play the 13-15 or so minute long audio I have of a past abuse so you can understand how absolutely nasty I'm spoken to and why it's so triggering to even hear constructive criticism etc...

I'll make more entries later. I still need to let my emotions chill out.

I am worried that therapy is now a trigger. Not because of you. Because it has always been me trying to tell people what is happening. I had times where cps should have been called but because I was interrupting etc... that was more of a focus than my own safety. No adult in my life has stood up to any abuser and done anything about it.

Now I'm an adult who is profoundly fucked up and like idfk how to be understood or to trust that I'm being heard or understood or anything

I feel like the people that get it in my life are the ones that have had a very hard life not the same as me but on level with me.

I don't know if this shit is gonna help you understand me any or if I've just unintentionally confused you more or whatever.

I have to go ahead and go home. I don't have the bandwidth to do anything else today. I'm pissed about it. I had plans.

Is it your fault? No. You don't know me. You don't know everything. You weren't not being professional. I don't know how to explain how it triggered me. If I could play it back to you I'd point it out the moment so you could understand.

I don't want to delete parts of this that I could go write better. It's hot, I'm trying to wrestle my emotions, I'm embarrassed, I'm still various forms of upset. I need to eat but im just sitting in this wholefoods parkinglot crying like an idiot. I feel like I've wasted a session talking about the wrong things thus creating a stupid kerfuffle.

I guess I'll see you next week.

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Wreckless - Water Slides

*Warning Adult Content*

Finnegan

I got lots of lovies this morning.

When Emmy woke up he just rolled us over and stretched me open.

He wasn't as rough as last night but it was good... really good.

I sort of missed my morning yummies but I'm gonna try to get some later before we have the car ride.

My bottom aches but that's okay... it reminds me of him.

He's letting us eat our breakfast outside because it's nice out.

I'm wearing a new t-shirt he got me and my undies but they're getting wet from him.

I need a shower but I like this feeling a lot.

Maybe that's why he told me to sit outside while he gets his shower.

Huh.

"Finish your pancakes Finn, we still have a lot to do and need to head to the hotel soon."

Water slides... I shove three pieces onto my fork and eat them all.

"Slow down."

I give him a look because he just said to finish.

"Eat normally... instead of daydreaming, darling. What are you thinking about?"

"You in my undies," I say and he laughs.

"I imagine that is pretty distracting."

He comes over and kisses my forehead and it makes me smile.

"I'm having a hard time concentrating this morning too... just look at what a mess I'm making of getting us ready. I'm going to pack while you shower."

"Okay."

Our suitcases are on the bed when I finish.

"I need swim trunks for today and car clothes."

"I know... I'm leaving everything accessible so we can change when we get back. Your dinos are dry, want them?"

"Yep," I say and I put them on along with T-shirt and my flip flops.

"Do I need to be sprayed?"

"I don't know if the slides are inside or outside so I'm just gonna bring it and if they're outside I will take care of you there."

He's really tan.

I didn't notice yesterday.

"You're darker today."

I push my fingertip against his pec.

"Yeah... comes quick once it starts. You're not too red so I'm happy with that. Love your freckles, cutie. Okay, we should head over. We're supposed to meet them in the Lobby at ten."

It doesn't matter what time things are... Emmy will take care of it.

The hotel isn't super close... we have to drive like ten minutes but I roll my window down as soon as we arrive so I can stick my head out and see better.

There are all different colors of slides and some of them are super tall.

"Look."

"I see them. We'll need to spray before we go in. Looks like it'll be a lot of fun."

I take off my shirt and hold my breath while I squeeze my eyes closed so he can spray the icky stuff all over me.

He seems happy and grabs his bag and I follow him up to the building.

Rhys is here.

"Hi, Rhys."

"Finn, hey hey hey.  We can go now, daddy. We can go now."

He has on a swim-shirt with a huge shark on it and blue and black trunks.

We sort of match.

Quincy laughs.

"Yes. Now we can go."

Then he talks to Emmy about how the card works as we go through a glass door but I ignore that part.

They put some stuff in lockers and Rhys and I follow them to some chairs in the shade.

Uncle Quincy takes Rhys' hands.

"What are the rules, bunny?"

Rhys gets as serious as I've ever seen him.

"No running. Take turns. Be nice to other kids. No leaving without daddy. Um... Is that all?"

"That'll do. You want me to come with you for the first one?"

"Yes," he answers and they head towards the blue slide.

Me too... I want Emmy to go with me.

"Me too, Emmy. Please? They're so big."

"I liked Quincy's rules. Can you follow them too?" he asks.

"Yes. I'll be a good boy."

"I know you will, grasshopper. Okay. Which one do you want to try first?"

"Let's get on the blue one with them."

They're getting ahead... they're already over there and we're still waiting.

Why?

"Lets go, Emmy."

"No running," he tells me and I know that's one of the rules and I am not running. 

I'm sort of speed walking and skipping. 

That is NOT running but I slow down anyway.

Rhys and Quincy splash down into the water as we start up the stairs. 

He sees me and waves.

"It's so much fun. I wanna go again Daddy."

I make Emmy go first so he can catch me at the bottom and then I zoom. 

It's scary but super fun.

"I wanna go again."

But a different one maybe.

"ALL the slides."

Emmy has his hair up in a little knot and he's so damn sexy that I have to look away. 

"You okay Finn?"

"Yes." 

We're still in the water but away from the bottom of the slide so I don't expect anyone to bump into me but someone is grabbing my leg. 

I look down and it's...

"Rhys."

He jumps up. 

"I got you so now you're it. Hey. Come on the red slide with me, please? Is that okay uncle Emmett?" 

He looks around and sees Quincy walking over after returning the rafts. 

"Daddy can Finny and I do the red one?" he asks, pointing to the red water slide.

Emmy looks at me and I smile. 

It'll  be fun and we won't have big people slowing us down. 

"Go have fun, boys."

[the-inglorious-king-of-dunces]

First time posting

Yo, internet, first time talking to the vast void of the interwebs, I guess.

Uhm, wanna say hi, if anybody reads this, and wants to continue reading this blog in general, it'll be a lot of me talking about life stuff, dnd stuff, transformers stuff, devil may cry, marvel, dragon ball, JJBA, and whatever other stuff I feel passionately about in the moment, as well as some *insert jazz hands here* trauma *insert more jazz hands here* from my ex, who if you see this somehow, I truly forgive you for hurting me, I understand that you were hurt by so many people, by so much trauma you went through, I forgive you because I have to to move on, and I hope that you believe that.

Moving on from that, uhm, something I'm extremely excited about that's happening really soon, gonna be selling my PS4 to a friend of mine so that I can then buy a PS5 within the next week and a half, so that's very cool. I find it very funny, that PS4, my ex gave that to me, after one of their ex's gave it to them, so I guess I wanted to break the cycle and give it to someone I call my brother.

I am also extremely fucking (oh probably should mention, I fucking swear a lot, sorry in advance) excited about the new Spider-man game coming out in October, it looks so awesome, and I'm so happy that I'm finally deciding to buy a PS5 so that I will actually be able to play the new game!

I guess I should also mention, I kinda sort of applied for a part-time job, at my local farmers market, like, when there is an opening available, they might consider me for it. I find it funny, I went to a technical high school for I.T. stuff, now that I'm out of high school, been thinking about what I actually want to do with my life, thinking about making a difference, I'd rather do something like work at a great local business, or work at a homeless shelter, and directly help people in desperate need. I just, I feel like helping people is what I'm supposed to do, like it's what I need to do, like it's what a younger me would be proud of since it's the next best thing to being a superhero, which a young me definitely wanted to become. But, most importantly, I feel like it would make my mom proud. I've been thinking about my mom lately. How much I miss her. I still remember her voice, which I'm happy about, since that's what people forget about a person first after they pass away. She helped people a lot. I really want to do the same. I hope I won't fuck up.

Next on the updates list, I have sent in an application for adult driver's ed at the high school I just graduated from, which is not gonna happen for a while, cause there's no spots available until the fucking winter! I guess people had the same Idea as me, lol. But, at least it's been started, so hell yeah!

I think that's about it for today, might say something again tomorrow, might not, probably will forget to, but know that I'm not dead if I don't say anything tomorrow. Everyone have a wonderful day, and remember to drink a lot of water throughout the day.

[myheelsdontmatchmysweatpants]

A/N: I would like to preface this by letting everyone know that I am in no way knowledgeable about actual science things. That being said I am amazed that in a random draw I actually managed to get a prompt that had to do with flowers lol. This is my contribution to the BakuHarem Collab! Please take a second to check out the other contributions here!

Warning: bad science, no protection, swearing, overs!mulation, accidental exhibti0som, intoxicated smut? idk sex pollen is a drug i guess.....

W/C: 3.5k

“Bakugou, dude. We should not-”

“Shut up Kirishima!” Bakugou walks through the sterile hallways checking every corner for signs of other people. “That bitch took my top spot with some bullshit flowers?!” He finally gets to the lab that was granted to you for your research. After winning first place, stealing first place in the UA university science expo. He walks into the observing lobby, looking through the large window to make sure you weren’t working in the lab after hours.

“Just keep quiet and listen for any one coming this way.” He walks over to the security door and holds his key card up to it, the light on the scanner turns green and he hears the dead bolt slide open.

Kirishima is lingering behind him, hovering in the doorway. He turns to Bakugou to talk him out of this again but his friend has already entered the lab. “Ahh geez.” He didn’t even wear any safety gear.

As the door clicks shut behind him, Bakugou stops to examine the lab. Several different species of flowers in full bloom behind temperature controlled enclosures. Some of them are recognizable; lavender, chamomile, and jasmine. “I thought it would smell like the perfume department, this fuckin place smells like heaven.” Guess it wasn’t a new shampoo she was using then.

He walks through the aisles turning his head this way and that, trying to find something, anything that he can fuck up without it being overtly obvious. He gets to the back corner of the lab and sees a piece of familiar equipment. “Perfect.”

*****

“He said WHAT?!”

Your roommate flinches at your reaction to her news. “He told Professor Aizawa that your ‘Viagra flowers’ are a joke to the science department and they should ‘wither and die’.”

You’re fuming. That fuck tard Bakugou, mister my shit don’t stink is ridiculing my research? “All that man knows is how to blow shit up! Just cause I beat him in the expo this year, he thinks my research is a joke?!” You stand up from the couch, pacing in front of it and you can’t decide whether to scream or cry. “Why did I ever like that twat?”

Cause he has wide shoulders, big hands and scarlet eyes that -

“Oh for the love of god shut up.” Screw your inner thoughts.

Ochako watches you pace, worrying in her eyes when yours line with silver and your neck flushes bright red. “I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have told you that.”

You stop moving and look at her, guilt flooding through you as she slumps forward. “Don’t apologize, I was talkin to myself babe.” She nods her head weakly and you stand up straight “I’m gonna go.” You walk to the door grabbing your coat and key card.

“W-where are you going?” Ochako follows you to the door and grabs your wrist gently. You turn to her and smile, she was always so sweet but you knew that if shit went down she would be right beside you, kicking ass.

“I need to blow off some steam, so I’m gonna go check on my ‘Viagra flowers’.” She huffs a laugh and let's go.

“Alright, don’t stay too late.”

You nod, put on your shoes and leave the dorm. It’s a bit of a walk to the building the lab is in and hopefully the cool breeze will calm your mind.

*****

As you walk into the building you are grateful that your professor is more of a night owl than most students. Considering how many naps he takes during lectures it is no wonder he can’t sleep at night. You contemplate going to his office to say hi but think better of it.

Don’t wanna end up venting about Bakugou to my professor of all people.

You walk down the hallway and notice the door to your lab is cracked. Not unusual, a lot of students from your class have been coming and going to see the different species of flowers and plants you are growing. Assuming someone didn’t shut the door behind them you take your phone out of your pocket to check the time. Out of the corner of your vision a quick flash of red and you walk right into Kirishima, Bakugou’s friend and one of your classmates.

“Hey! How- how's it goin?”

You take a step back, rubbing your nose from face planting into his giant chest. Does this guy eat boulders for breakfast? “Hey Kiri! Just gonna do some late night tests! You checkin out my garden?”

“Yeah! Flowers are pretty.” He laughs, it’s high pitched and obviously forced.

You take in his nervous appearance, the fact that he is still standing in front of the door and your mood sours.

“Where is he?”

Kirishima looks like he is gonna try and stall but one look at the fury in your eyes and his head hangs down. “He’s in the lab,” you rush past him and punch in the code to open the door. “I tried to talk him out of it!”

The door clicks shut and the spiky blonde huffs in annoyance somewhere in the back of the lab.

“I told you shitty hair, if you’re gonna keep a look out you have to stand outside.”

You clear your throat and his head shoots up. You walk over to him, taking note of all of the plants and equipment, taking note of anything that looks different. As you get closer to him you notice that he smells particularly good tonight.

Keep it in your pants idiot

“Really Bakugou?” You stop a few steps away from him, noticing the various disassembled parts on the counter top behind him. “What were you gonna do, break my extraction equipment and make it look like a malfunction? Are you a B-Movie villain?”

He stands up and you are reminded of how small you feel next to him, wide shoulders, arms barely fitting the t-shirt he was wearing, strong chest that tapers to a toned waist. He laughs and you look at his face. What I wouldn’t give to just lick from your navel to your neck.

“A B-Movie villain huh? That’s rich coming from the fanfiction cliché scientist.” He crosses his arms, your eyes quickly dart to the sight of his biceps flexing with the movement then back at him.

“Fanfiction cliché? What the actual fuck are you talking about?” You take another step towards him, softly inhaling his scent. Why does he smell so good?

He laughs at you again, the sound caresses your skin and you realize your feeling very, very hot. You drag your fingers through your hair, your eyes zeroing in on a bead of sweat running down the side of his face. When you lick your lips and shift to take another step closer a small part of your brain connects the dots. “What. Did. You. Do?”

Bakugou looks at you, noticing your flushed cheeks and eyes that show you aren’t quite your normal smart and sexy self. Reaching behind himself you hear the unmistakable sound of clinking glass, he grabs a beaker, an open beaker. “Just grabbed this from your equipment, I know how long it takes to extract this stuff. Would suck if it were to suddenly go missing.”

“You idiot! Do you know how potent it is in that form?!” You reach for it but he pulls the beaker out of your reach. “Why do you think I keep it enclosed? You have to close it up now!”

“Why should I?”

Honestly how stupid can this guy get?!

“Put it back in the enclosure first and I’ll explain it to you!” Your breathing is getting heavy, the closer you get to Bakugou the hotter your body feels. You lunge for him again and trip, he hurries to put the beaker on the table behind him and catch you. Put off balance from the position you both crash to the floor with him underneath you. Sighing in frustration you lift yourself up only to bump your head on the table, knocking over the beaker and spilling the extract over you both.

“Shit!” You scramble off of him and run to the door, pressing the exposure button and effectively locking it. You turn to Bakugou and back up trying your best to keep your distance. “Stay on that side of the room, if we’re far enough apart the effects won’t be as bad.”

“What are the effects?” The question is spoken so calmly that you almost convince yourself he didn’t speak at all.

“What are the fucking side effects!?” His shirt is soaked, sticking to his tanned skin. The outline of his chiseled body makes your mouth go dry. You look back at his face, his mouth twisted in frustration at your silence but no less attractive. The sharp angle of his jawline, pink lips slightly chapped, aristocratic nose, scarlet eyes that-

“Take a picture, it'll last longer.” Shaking your head to clear some of the fog in your brain, you focus on him again.

“It’s an aphrodisiac so obviously it enhances sexual desire.”

“Yeah-yeah, sex pollen I get it. But what else?” he rings out the bottom of his shirt, lifting it slightly and you avert your eyes.

“It is not sex pollen, I don’t even use the pollen of the plant.” the last part coming out in a mumble. “The aphrodisiac only works on people who are consenting adults that are attracted to each other.” You clear your throat.

Bakugou freezes for a moment and looks up at you, examining you. The flushed skin, short breaths, and how you keep as much distance between the two of you as the small lab provides.

“So why are you so far away then?” The smirk on his face is sinful as all hell.

Cheeky bastard.

“Surely I don’t have to spell it out for you.” Resisting the urge to turn your face away from him like a pouty child..

“HA!” The smug look on his face momentarily lifts the cloud of lust and replaces it with anger. “Of course you’re attracted to me, who wouldn’t be?”

“Well, aren't you a cocky bastard?” Hoping you're not about to embarrass yourself you take a chance and muster up some courage. Slowly walking up to him you notice that his forehead is glistening with sweat, his breathing heavy, ears and back of his neck flushed with pink. “Tell me, Katsuki. How are you feeling?”

A few steps and you can see his hands balled up in white knuckled fists, a few more his jaw clench and unclench. Once you are only an arms length away you can see him swallow harshly, Adam's apple bobbing, nostrils flaring. You push your breasts against his toned chest, the light friction causing a moan to escape your mouth, the sound going straight to his cock.

“I’m - I’m fine.” Bakugou clears his throat, the sound of his first name from your lips sweeter than it should be.

“Lookin a little flushed, you feeling hot?”

He doesn’t answer, his attention captured by the closeness of your body, your lips, the tops of your breasts peeking out of the v neck top you’re wearing.. He stops breathing when your tongue flicks out to lick your bottom lip.

“Cat got your tongue?”

On impulse his hands move to rest on your hips, eyes never leaving your lips. “What was the question again?”

“How. Are. You. Feeling.” you walk your fingers up his chest with each word before pulling his head down so you can whisper in his ear, the anger fading fast. “Katsuki.” You hear him growl, the sound reverberating through your core, then you're being picked up.

“I’m gonna ruin you.” Bakugou crashes his lips to yours, pressing you up against one of the walls and bracing you with one hand so that the other can wrap around your throat. “Fuck, you drive me crazy.” He bites your lip, licking it to soothe the hurt. “Smart, funny, sexy, beautiful.”

You whine at the words and grind against the bulge in his pants, your pussy throbbing with need. “Need to feel you touch me Bakugou.” He stops moving and you shift to try and grind against him again but he holds you tight, slightly squeezing the sides of your neck.

“What happened to calling me by my first name, baby girl?” Loosening his hand and crouching down as if to put you down you sputter out “Kat-Katsuki Please touch me.”

The feral grin on his face has your pussy drooling and you all but sigh in relief when he stands up straight and slips a hand under your shirt, cupping one of your breasts. “Oh god yes.”

“You’re so soft baby,” he pulls one of the cups down and rolls your nipple in between his fingers. “Take off your shirt, wanna see those pretty tits.”

Katsuki keeps playing with your nipple when you rip your shirt off, making short work of your bra and tossing it. As soon as the other nipple is in view he dives down to suckle it, his mouth hot. You throw your head back, grabbing fistfuls of his hair and pushing your chest out to give him better access.

He is merciless in his teasing, alternating between breasts, making sure to suck each nipple till they are both hard peaks. Kissing the top of your soft globes, your collarbone and neck, everywhere his mouth goes is left with a mark in varying shades of red and purple.

You grow impatient with him, needing to make him feel as good wanting to feel him with your hands, mouth, teeth.

“Wanna feel you too Katsuki.” you whine as he pinches one nipple while nibbling the other one. When you pull on his hair a little he groans but lifts his head, pulling both nipples with him before letting them go.

“What do ya wanna feel, baby girl?”

With all your inhibitions throw out the window you lean down and whisper in his ear. “Wanna feel you fuck me.”

You pull away and he quickly sets you down, you’re about to object when he takes his shirt off in one smooth motion then starts unbuttoning his jeans. You rush to follow, unzipping your pants and pulling them down, before you can pull down your panties he grabs your hand stopping you. “Leave ‘m on.”

Katsuki picks you up again before you can get a good look at his cock, but when it's pressed against you there is no need to see it. “Fuck you’re huge.”

He smirks at you, smug pride in his eyes. “Glad you approve.” Reaching a hand down he pulls your panties to the side and runs his fingers through your wet folds. “This all for me?” bringing his fingers up to show you the slick dripping down them he puts them in his mouth and sucks. “Gonna have to enjoy that tasty treat later.”

Your body is burning up, breathing is heavy as you both watch him drag his cock along your wet slit before pushing in. Your moans echo in the lab and neither one of you cares as Katsuki's cock drags against your inner walls until bottoming out. Right now is not the time for slow strokes, not with the aphrodisiac flowing through both of your bodies, so he starts a pace that has your ass slapping against his thighs.

“C-cumming!” You scream out before your body bows in on itself and you're creaming around his cock.

“Already?” a sideways grin on his face Katsuki starts moving you up and down in time with his thrusts, his cock reaching that much deeper. “Gonna cum for me again? Come on baby, wanna feel you milk my cock.”

Your mind is going blank, the only thing running through it is Katsuki. “Please don’t stop,” you dig your nails into his shoulders. “M Gonna cum again.” His thrusts go shallow and the head of his cock drags against your walls, hitting all the right spots.

You’re repeating his name endlessly, the only word that is in your mind then you’re cumming again. Your legs tense around his waist and your pussy clenches down hard enough that he has to stop moving or risk hurting you. He watches your face contorted in pleasure and starts thrusting as soon as he feels your orgasm subside.

“One more.”

Your head fuzzy, body limp from two orgasms. “I can’t!”

“Wrong,” Katsuki pulls out for a second, setting you on the floor and pushing on your back. You obediently bend forward grabbing the edge of the counter top and he wastes no time in rutting back into you. “You want me to stop?”

“NO”

“Then you got one more beautiful thing.” He sticks two fingers in his mouth, getting them wet then reaches around rubbing soft circles on your puffy clit. His other hand gripping your hip, before moving up and grabbing your shoulder using it as leverage to fuck into you harder.

“Come on, cum for me.”

You turn your head to the side trying your best to look in his eyes, yours tearing up at the overstimulation. “You cum too, fill me up Katsuki.”

“Oh fuck yeah.” Bending his knees he thrusts up into you and with the new angle, teasing circles being rubbed on your clit and the feral moans coming out of his mouth you cum one last time.

Fuckfuckfuckfuck

Katsuki cums after you, rope after rope of cum coating your fluttering walls.

You both stand there catching your breath. Katsuki pulls out and you whimper, “Oh don’t worry beautiful,” he picks you up again, walks over to a chair and sits down with you in his lap “not done with you yet.”

By the time you are spent both of you are exhausted and lost track of how many times either of you came. He helps you stand up, quickly pulling your panties back in place. “Don’t want you leakin.”

You giggle and pick up your clothes from the floor, he helps you get dressed and you both walk to the door. Making sure to check the air quality before leaving the lab you confirm that nothing is left in the air and unlock it. Before opening the door you turn to him opening your mouth to ask a question but he talks first.

“Let's go back to my room, yeah? I’ll help you clean up.” His voice rough from moaning and growling but you can see a small smile on his lips. Even though you know that the effects of the extract have worn off you can’t help but worry that he is still under their influence. Nodding your head you turn away from him again and open the door, walking into the lobby.

“I assume you're finished with the lab?”

You stop dead in your tracks, Katsuki bumping into you. “P-professor Aizawa?” Red hair peeks out behind him and Kirishima looks at you both with a nervous sharp toothed smile and red face. The fog of your memory clears and you vaguely remember hearing knocking on the window and door while you were… indisposed.

Katsuki steps in front of you, from the lack of red on his face or neck you know he isn’t nearly as mortified as you. “How long have you been standing there?”

The tired eyes of your teacher examine both of you. “Long enough.” He sighs heavily and pinches the bridge of his nose. “You are both to meet me in my office tomorrow morning.”

And just before you can’t get anymore embarrassed he walks out and says over his shoulder. “The labs aren’t sound proof, and these walls echo.”

@doinmybesthere @patchworkpuzzle @eyebagsbutglam @sugarspiceanddynamight

[har-rison-s]

your good will: 34

never too much 

a/n: hi guys. an update. this is the latest chapter i've written, and i wanted to publish it now so it'll be something for a while. because...... my diploma work is gonna take me the next week or more to finish, and it's A LOT of work. i'm exhausted and stressed out of my mind already, but i can do it, so i have to sacrifice writing and other things for just a short while, and then i'll be back. so have this while i'm gone for a bit. what do you guys think about argyle? i honestly can't wait to write him into this story as a side character, he's soooo fun and i feel like maggie would have fun with him, too (no cheating, i promise). so happy reading!

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word count: 6.7k

warnings: none, really, maybe hints of anxiety towards the end

gif credit goes to owner! and yes i love steve in the yellow sweatshirt ashfdgsdjhkjds

It seems each night is easier than the last, for both Maggie and Steve.

Sleeping together has made their slumber heavier, and Steve hasn't had a nightmare since that first night Maggie stayed over, which he counts as a big success when he wakes up calmly and realizes his dreams were nothing but pleasant. He blinks his eyes open and rubs his face over with his hands, a way of waking himself up faster. He knows he's got a sort-of a busy day ahead of him, and he knows himself and his ways of sleeping in late very well, so he knows he has to get up as early as possible.

The clock on his nightstand tells him it's just a few minutes past nine am, and Steve is pretty pleased with that. He turns back around in the bed to still lay in it just a little longer, and he finds Maggie waking up, too. Wordlessly, he withdraws his arm from underneath her to let her have the regular morning stretch, knowing her well enough to be able to tell when and how she does it. He just lays next to her and looks out the window while she stretches, wondering how she feels today.

Maggie turns to lay on her stomach by Steve's side, and she greets him with a gentle smile, her fingers picking at each other afterwards. Her eyes seem more serious than usually, so something must be on her mind. “Hey there,” Steve tells her and moves his body slightly over onto its side so he'd have a closer look at her, “penny for your thoughts?” He asks as he continues to study her serious face.

She gives Steve a shrug at first. “Nothing interesting, really,” she says, but Steve can tell it's not true. Well, to her, maybe, but to him - every thought of hers is interesting.

“Come on,” he pokes her leg slightly with his own, “you can tell me anything. And you always have something interesting on your mind, anyway.” Steve says and tilts his head. That compliment makes Maggie smile.

“Alright,” she says, “I was just thinking of uh, the last… normal day, so it seems, before all of this. I'd visited Hop during the day,” Maggie admits and lays her head back on the pillow it was previously resting on. She sighs deeply, staring at the headboard in front of her, “and then you and I went to Lovers' Lake, remember?” She looks to Steve, and he nods. A soft smile tugs at Maggie's lips. “I told you I was already missing that day, and for good reason. That was literally the last day before shit hit the fan again.” She sighs heavier. “I brought Hop lunch to work, and… we had made plans to, uh…” she makes a chuckle, “I was gonna teach him how to make pasta carbonara at the cabin.” Maggie smiles, but an absent look paints across her face. Steve nods, listening intently. “We were supposed to do it last saturday, I think. Couldn't have been this Saturday because of LiveAid, so… last Saturday.” Her smile fades. “It just hurts, you know?” Maggie looks to Steve with the hope for understanding from him. And there's plenty of that.

“Yeah, I can imagine,” he tells her quietly, “you know you can talk to me about him, right?”

Maggie gives him a nod. But at the thought of Steve and Hopper, she has another chuckle. “He never really liked you, you know?” She tells Steve, and he raises his eyebrows. “I didn't even realize I never told you that, but it wouldn't have made a difference.” She breathes a light chuckle.

Steve shakes his head, confused. “Wouldn't have made a difference? He's like a father to you, Mags, he was a very important man to be liked by.” Steve makes a point, and Maggie chuckles whole-heartedly now. “Why didn't he like me?”

Maggie shrugs. “I don't know, really,” she says, “maybe not you exactly, but just… disliked the fact that you were with me.” She looks at him again. “He's very protective of his kids, and the women around him. I was like a daughter to him, as well, just like El was.” She looks down at her hands. “Maybe he just doesn't like his girls having boyfriends. He didn't like Mike very much, either.”

“Oh?” Steve raises his eyebrows in surprise. “Interesting. But yeah, sounds about right. No father is happy to let his daughter go off with a boy, or a man–whatever.” Steve shrugs, and Maggie gives him a sneaky glance.

“Hey,” she calls out to him, and Steve looks at her, “thought we'd established yesterday that we both deserve each other.” Maggie says, and Steve shakes his head with a laugh in response.

“Yeah, yeah.”

“Look,” Maggie scoots closer to Steve, “Hopper is important to me, always will be. And as much as his opinion is important to me, as long as I'm happy with you, I won't take his or anyone else's grumpiness about us to heart.” She assures him. “Okay?”

Steve's face cracks into a grin. “And you are happy with me?” He makes sure, and Maggie just gives him a sure nod without hesitance.

“I'd tell you if I wasn't,” she says and cuddles into his side. Steve lays his arm lazily across her form, “you make me the happiest girl in the world, Steve.” That makes the boy smile.

“I'm glad to have that honor,” he tells her and lays a kiss in her hair, “Hopper's a complicated guy. Very intimidating, too. Those times when I was over at your house on the birthday parties, and he was there, too, I was mostly scared to talk to him.”

Maggie groans with a shake of her head. “Ugh, you're just like him, Steve!” She says and laughs. “What is with this prejudice and weird opinions of each other, I don't get it…” she lays with her back facing Steve now. “You men.” That makes Steve burst out laughing, even though the words kinda hurt his pride. “Always have to over-complicate everything with these weird things…” Maggie sighs. “You're also a complicated guy.”

“Wh–how am I a complicated guy?” He's in disbelief, and Maggie shakes her head. She turns back around to face him.

“How are you not,” she tells him, “your feelings and how you express them and don't express them–that is all very complicated. You think you shouldn't feel this or that, when it's completely human to feel every single thing under the sun! You'll just… make everything more complicated if you don't express exactly what you feel in the most fitting way possible.” She turns to lay on her back. “And then you assume you shouldn't show certain things when I'm around, and you have a complicated relationship with your parents, you know… all of that.” She mumbles.

Maggie knows Steve's watching her with a goofy grin all the while. She also knows that he loves it when she's feisty or very passionate like this, worked-up maybe. He's told her a couple times, because that's exactly how rarely he gets to see her like that - just a couple times. She's not one to stand up for herself, she'd rather just ignore any blow or bite towards herself from others rather than stand up and say something in return. So when she does get a little pissed off, worked-up or just feisty, it's a sweet sight for Steve.

Right now, she just tries to ignore that grin and look of his, but it's not working. Even though she's looking away, she can't help but smile, and Steve sees that, too. He knows he's irresistible, and that its extent sometimes really annoys her. So when he leans down to lay a kiss on her cheek or wherever else, Maggie is quick to shake her head and sit up in their bed. “Come on, we have to shower so you can take me home,” she tells him and stands up on her two feet on the carpeted floor. But Steve doesn't move for the next few moments, he just watches her walk across his bedroom to his bathroom, nothing but underwear and his shirt clothing her body. When she notices he hasn't got up yet, she pauses by the bathroom door and looks over her shoulder at him.

Steve pouts. “Don't want you to leave so soon,” he tells her. Maggie shakes her head and chuckles. This man…

“We'll see each other on Saturday, Steven,” she says and uses that nickname for him she knows he hates. And it shows now. His playful expression dropping immediately makes Maggie, in turn, giggle harder. Steve hurriedly gets the covers off of him, and then he's in a full sprint towards Maggie. A smile stretches his serious features even now, as he makes to tackle her down for that nickname as payback.

And so the both of them fall to the floor of the dark bathroom, limbs entangled together, laughing like hell, laughing until their stomachs and even bruises hurt. And Steve's tickling her, as well, not letting her rest, only aiming to annoy her more but to make her laugh while he annoys her. That plan is going well so far. “Don't,” Steve says between tickles and both of their laughs, “call me that.” He says, but Maggie only laughs even harder.

“St–stop, stop!” She protests against his tickling mania, but Steve doesn't let. Only after a few minutes does he stop, and Maggie feels like she can breathe again. God, he makes her breathless in more ways than one. She sighs heavily as she looks up at Steve, her hand running through her own hair. “Won't do it again, I promise.” She tells him, though the grin on her lips promises otherwise. Steve shakes his head at that.

“You tease,” he tells her. Maggie only sticks her tongue out in response, giggling like crazy afterwards.

“I'll be all yours Saturday night, I promise,” she says, “that I can promise. After everyone leaves.” Maggie sends Steve a wink, and that makes him raise his eyebrows slightly. They'd agreed to that already, but just a reminder of it makes him pleasantly surprised. He leans back so he'd be sitting beside Maggie now, and she gets to see his toned, bare chest in all its glory above her. Her teeth sink into her lower lip as she looks him over, and her hands fidget slightly as she somehow feels nervous again, as if it was her first time seeing him without a shirt. She remembers that time very well.

Steve grins. “Like what you see?” He asks, one hand on his thigh and the other running through his mess of hair. Maggie nods, and now is Steve's turn to make a teasing grin. “Let's shower, then. Fun's over.” He says and helps her stand up. Maggie chuckles.

“That's definitely the opposite of fun stopping.” She says. “With you especially.” That comment earns her a kiss on the head from Steve, to which she can hardly respond to because next thing she knows is he's pulling that shirt of his she wore to bed up and over her head. Once they're face to face again, Steve gives her a loopy grin, and Maggie giggles at that expression. She's so in love with him. Anything he does amuses her.

“Love you, you know that?” He softly asks before they rid themselves of their underwear. Maggie laughs. Of course she knows that. She's reminded of the fact all the time when she's with Steve. When he helps her undress before the shower, when he turns on the hot water for them both, when he holds her close to him as they stand in the shower. And the way with which he looks at her. And how he always has the thought to be affectionate with her, at all times. His constant touches anywhere, wherever he can reach–it's his love language. All the gestures, and the thoughts behind them. They're proof of his love for her, and so many more things are, too, and Maggie adores them. Just like she adores him.

After their shower, the pair of them get down to the kitchen to make some breakfast. They find the kitchen in slight disarray from the past few days, and though Steve makes a point that he'll clean everything up, both of them are too famished at the moment to think about cleaning. After they're done eating, however, Maggie insists on helping him pull the house together.

Steve shakes his head. “It's my house, and I'll clean it,” he tells her, a dish sponge already in hand, “I do know how to clean, you know.” He reminds her jokingly, a pointed index finger in the air.

Maggie sighs with a slight smile on her face. “I know you do,” she answers, “it's just that I've been here, too, and it's my mess, too. Kinda.” She shrugs. Steve turns back around to face her, his hips leaned against the counter that his hands are gripping.

“You're my guest, baby, okay?” He says. “I don't mind, I never do. You gotta let me do something for you once in a while, too, you know?” Steve points out with a sheepish grin and turns back around to continue doing the dishes.

Those words sit on Maggie's mind. They're similar to those her mom told her a few days ago. That actually seems like eternity ago, but it's just been a few days. A few days since Maggie called Steve, a few days since she and her mom had their long conversations about everything. She told Maggie something about… letting people take care of her for a change.

But it is in her nature to take care of everyone around her. It's a crucial part of her dna, and she can't shake it as easily as people would want her to. She wants to help, wants to take care, wants to tend to everyone, whoever they are. It's some sort of motherly instinct she can't quite explain the roots of. But Maggie knows that Steve and her mother are both right. She does need to take a day off sometimes. The world's not gonna fall apart if she doesn't lend a helping hand for a day or two.

So she says, “okay,” and leaves the kitchen to get her clothes and other little things from Steve's room together. While she does that, the tune from one of the songs in Back to the Future playing on repeat in her head so much so that she starts humming it, Maggie lingers on this packing process. She picks her clothes up one by one and folds them to stuff them into her bag. And she realizes that it's what she'll be doing very soon. Not just packing away these few clothes, but packing away everything she owns.

She stalls a little in her way, just for a few seconds, while she really takes that in. Her eyes blink slowly. She doesn't know how soon yet, but in some time this is all she will be doing. Packing her clothes, her books, her photo albums, her type-writer, her records. Wrapping some things in bubble wrap, putting them into bags and boxes and marking them as fragile and not fragile, marking them with a color for the room they'll be going in. She'll probably have to help El and Will with their stuff, as well. Though mom will probably volunteer for that position, too. And something tells Maggie that Steve could, too.

It's probably gonna be hard on him. As it will be on all of them. Those four walls in her room, and all the other walls and corners in their house here, in Hawkins, is the place Maggie has called home her entire life up until now. Though, truth be told, she'll probably still call it home, and picture it absent-mindedly when she thinks or speaks the word 'home'. How can she ever truly leave that place? And how can they give a house full of memories, childhoods and adventures to complete strangers?

Maggie will have new routes from home to school in the new town or city. Maybe she'll even have new woods to explore. It would sound a lot more appealing and exciting to her if it wasn't for the grim side of the situation. New things and places and people to discover is exciting, but… she's attached to Hawkins. Very much attached. And not just geographically.

She holds the last article of clothing to be packed to her chest and gives Steve's bedroom a look-over. These dark blue walls and this carpeted floor. That king-sized bed, clothes thrown around carelessly and some scarce posters on the walls. Pictures on the nightstand. She'll not be seeing these four walls for some time, too. Her chest makes a heavy sigh as a pout grows on her lips. Looking at each corner and spot in the room, different memories spark up like drops of color in clear water. Laughter, focus, teasing, intimacy, earnestness, closeness, freedom. All of those things were felt here, were experienced here, in many different ways. Such fond memories have been made here.

How will she be able to look at a completely new room, a new house, and feel nothing? Nothing but dread, sadness, and maybe even remorse. Move to a stale new house that's completely estranged to Maggie and her family, a foreign ground. It will be weird, to say the least. But maybe good memories will be made there, too. Eventually…

The radio is playing at medium volume as Steve sits behind the steering wheel and Maggie stares at the road ahead in the passenger seat beside him. Her eyes blank and tired, mind and heart filled with thoughts, conclusions, wonderings. She sighs quietly. Steve looks over at her for just a moment, knowing how important it is to keep his eyes on the road in this particular part of town.

“Hey, I was thinking,” he starts to say, and glances over at Maggie once again, to see if she's coherent and present, in a way. She turns her head to look at him, and her eyes hold nothing but wet and deep sadness, “maybe I could come over for dinner after that Gremlins screening,” Steve suggests. He knows Gremlins and the thought of watching it again will cheer her up. He raises his eyebrows for slight effect.

Maggie nods subtly. “Sure,” she agrees, “if it's not gonna be screening too late.” She makes a pause of silence, thinking the offer over. “Do you remember the date?” She looks up at Steve from her hands.

“Um…” he squints his eyes in the sun as he tries to remember, “it was nearly a whole week that they were showing it. From… next Wednesday to Saturday.” Steve says and gives Maggie a confirming nod. “Not a week, but…”

Maggie makes a gentle smile. “I got it,” she says and turns her eyes back to the road, “well…” she sighs heavily, “we could do Thursday, maybe, a week from now? I'll have to ask mom.”

“Thursday? Hmm,” Steve says and raises his left hand as if to look at a wristwatch. Maggie furrows her eyebrows, “Thursday might not be very good for me, actually. I have… nothing at 10am, nothing at 2pm, and then another nothing from 4 to 9pm that day.” He looks over to slightly-amused Maggie with a scrunched-up nose, putting on his best performance of disappointment. She giggles, her cheeks blushing up, immediately making Steve's acting façade drop. He can't help but melt into a smile at the sight of hers.

He turns back to look at the road, that smile still on his face. And Maggie's lips are still curved into a smile, as well. “As funny as you are,” she says to him as he pulls up on Old Cherry Road, “we need to do it before mom breaks the news to everyone else. I don't want the mood to be… off, I guess.”

Steve glances at Maggie as he makes a turn. “Oh,” he says, “uh, yeah, okay.” Maggie's glad he understands.

“I know she wants to do it as soon as possible, so we have to move in quick.” She concludes and peels off her seat as they drive up to the Mayfield's house. There's two little heads poking out of the front door already. Maggie unbuckles her seatbelt, and looks over at Steve. “I'll go get her.” She tells him quietly, and seconds after isn't even sure why she said it. Steve nods at her words either way. “Unless… you wanna try to?” Maggie offers.

Steve's eyebrows raise. His eyes switch between Maggie and the view outside her door's window. “I–I could try,” he agrees, “could use the chance to invite Max to LiveAid, as well.” Maggie nods with a subtle, slightly-proud smile on her lips. She slinks back into her seat as her eyes are still on Steve's all the while. She can see he gets a little nervous, and only after a few moments remembers to unbuckle his seatbelt. Maggie stifles a chuckle, and hopes Steve just won't chicken out of this. “If you see me bolting back to the car, take that as a sign to take over.” He says before moving to open his door, but he stalls. Steve turns back to look at Maggie, at Maggie, who's looking at him cluelessly, unaware of his motives. She pats his hand, but then is surprised by a quick kiss from him on the lips. When Steve pulls away and looks into her wide eyes, he grins. “Just a little courage.” He says and kisses her again. How she wants to make him stay here for the rest of the day and not move an inch away from her… She grins into the second kiss. “You know, some men need alcohol for courage.” Steve states with an important air to his voice. Maggie raises quizzical eyebrows at him and tilts her head, as if asking him something. “But I… just need you.” Steve finishes, and his words make Maggie chuckle.

She pats his chest and pushes him slightly away, so he'd be on his promised way. “You have me,” she assures, “now go.” Maggie gives Steve a certain look, because she just knows his ways too well. “Go on,” she urges when Steve gives her the second series of those lovey-dovey eyes he usually does when something's on his mind, such as procrastination or a wicked plan B. He grins and shakes his head at how well she knows him, and finally does pull away and get out of his car. The thud of his door closing introduces silence to Maggie, but she knows she won't get bored. She turns to sit more on her right side and watches Steve through the window, watches him approach the two girls on Max's doorstep.

A smile stretches her lips as she sees Steve moving to hug both girls, and he actually succeeds, though Maggie sees from here how unexpected a little awkward that exchange is for both girls. She laughs into her hand, nearly getting second-hand embarrassment from the scene. But with half her face hidden by her hand, she raises her eyes and continues to watch what's happening.

Steve's conversing with the girls, hands on his hips. Then he offers to take El's bag from her, and she accepts, so he throws the backpack that looks a little silly and small on him over his shoulder and nods. After a bit more conversation which Maggie can't hear, he gives Max a high five and begins walking El back to the car. As she feels that either or both of them might be looking towards her, she slowly shifts in her seat so it would look like she wasn't watching everything. A playful smile still tugs at her lips, and she just stares ahead while Steve helps El get in and settle inside nicely.

Once she's sitting down and Steve is making his way around the car, Maggie turns around in her seat to see El. She looks… better, if Maggie might say so herself. Her hair looks a little different–Max has done a hairstyle on it that looks pretty good, and natural. El's still wearing her own clothes, and she looks a little more up-beat than the last time Maggie saw her. That natural stoic face she was taught to wear in her earlier years has been replaced by a more natural expression, one that looks like El is about to start smiling any next second. Maggie smiles wide at the girl.

“Hey,” she says in a soft voice, reminding El of a whisper. She gives Maggie that smile she was waiting for.

“Hi,” El responds and tugs nervously at her seatbelt, “thanks for… coming to get me.” She says and Maggie just gives her a shrug.

“Always, sweetheart,” Maggie tells her, and the sounds of Steve opening the door and getting inside interrupt their conversation a bit. But Maggie doesn't turn away from El, “how do you feel? Have you eaten anything today?”

Eleven shrugs. “Cereal,” she says, and at first Maggie thinks she's dodging her first question, but then she's proven wrong. She chuckles at the choice of meal El had, “I feel… okay.” Maggie sees her glancing from Steve to her hands, and it makes her realize that the poor girl probably feels exposed in front of him. Last time the three of them were together, El didn't say much. But she's talkative when she's alone with Maggie. So that explains it, she guesses. She feels awkward talking about her feelings and overall herself in front of someone else who isn't Maggie. Who isn't someone she trusts that much.

“You wanna go home?” Maggie asks her, and El gives her a nod. “You sure you don't wanna stay with Max?” Maggie teases.

Eleven gives her a quiet laugh in response, Steve starts the car up again. “Max needs… to be alone, too,” she says and looks outside her window as Steve begins driving. Maggie and him exchange a quick glance, and then Maggie looks back at Eleven. She's so much more… in touch than the both of them expected.

“Okay,” she tells her and turns back around in her seat, so she'd be sitting correctly, “you're right about that.” Maggie looks at Steve again, and they giggle at seeing that the both of them have that same certain smile on their faces. Maggie shakes her head and Steve pulls his car onto the road again.

“You have your seatbelt on, El?” Steve asks, glancing at the younger girl through his rear-view mirror. Maggie just thought to ask that question. Eleven gives him a look in return, complimented by a smile, and nods while tugging the seatbelt in question upwards, so that Steve would see. “Uh–huh, good.” Steve says in response and gives El a big smile. Maggie chuckles into her hand and keeps looking out the window. Always the baby-sitter.

“What did Max say?” She asks Steve after a couple moments. There's that silence settled between the three of them in the car, which Maggie knows that Steve hates. So because she's genuinely curious and wants her boyfriend to not feel on edge during this wonderfully simple car ride, she thought of the first thing to ask him.

“Oh, uh… I asked her whether she wants to come over for LiveAid on Saturday,” Steve starts to say, “she… didn't seem very excited, but… she told me she'll think about it.”

“Mmm,” Maggie nods along, “well… I'd love for her to be there, but I understand if she won't make it.” She says and looks over her shoulder at El again. “What do you think, El? Wanna watch some musicians dance around on stage to raise money for children who need it? Saturday?” She gives El a subtle smile.

She returns one, though she looks like she's not fully here right now. Maggie can understand that. “Sounds funny,” she says, which makes Maggie laugh again, but in an affectionate manner, “will Mike be there?”

Maggie exchanges a look with Steve. He shrugs. “If he wants to, yeah,” he says, “I'll ask the boys today, alright, El? Maggie will let you know.” Steve gives Eleven an encouraging smile. Maggie glances between El and Steve, and she notices the subtle blush and smile on El's face. What could it be for? Steve calling her by the nickname probably. He's charming even her now, is he? Maggie looks at her boyfriend and leans her head against the seat's headrest. He gives her an oblivious look with raised eyebrows, but diverts it back to the road soon, after Maggie makes a smile and a shake of her head at him. It's nothing. To her, it's just a little amusing.

But that's Steve for her. The naturally ever-charming Steve Harrington, who was King of Hawkins High. Able to woo girls with just a smile or a single word. And that's younger girls for Maggie, too, of course. She knows how she was at El's age–which, she assumes, is 14 or 15–when an older boy talked to her. Even if it was just a prank, it made her all flustered.

Now Steve is in the role of older sister's boyfriend, which is the right material for a kind-of intimidating and charming role. And, of course, he's very charming naturally already, so those two factors just add up. So now you've got this older guy, big sister's boyfriend Steve who'll swoon any girl he looks at. Including El, though she only appreciates that he's nice to her and includes her in the conversations he has with Maggie.

The adults or older teenagers in this top-secret Upside Down group have always cared for the kids, of course, but they've never really been inclusive to the younger kids. Maybe it's because of the age difference, that could be. But Maggie has always tried to blur that line drawn between these two groups, no one else has before. But El appreciates that Steve is doing that, too. What with his friendship with Dustin–the younger boy once said Steve's like an older brother he always thought he wished for–and with everything that happened last year and this summer. And now his intention to talk and maybe even bond a little with Eleven. She sees all of that, and she appreciates it. Not really her intention to blush and smile, that's just a natural reaction she can't help. Taking the way she was raised – by very cold and controlling people – she really appreciates any sort of kindness.

“Okay, girls, we're here,” Steve states the obvious as he pulls up in front of the Byers' house. Maggie's eyes fall onto the repaired wall with the hole in it, and memories from one certain night splash up in her mind like water thrown suddenly from a glass. Maggie unbuckles her seatbelt and spins around in her seat to look at El, giving her a smile.

“I'll be right there,” Maggie says, hinting to her sister that she needs a couple moments with Steve. Eleven understands without hesitance, and nods. Maggie watches her unbuckle her seatbelt and grab her bag, pushing the car door open and getting out by herself next. Steve would have opened the door for her, but he's in a bit of a misunderstanding about what's happening here, so he stays put in his oblivious state. Once El is out of the car, Maggie watches her walk up to their family home and then turns back to Steve.

“What's that all about?” Steve asks with a nervous chuckle.

“Wanted to say goodbye without making El feel… awkward,” Maggie says and then leans closer to Steve, her body still rested in the seat. Steve nods, realization crossing his face, “so,” Maggie says quietly, “Saturday? What time do I have to be there? With El, hopefully?” She makes a sweet smile.

Steve doesn't catch on at the first instance, but when he does, he nods. LiveAid. “Well…” he reaches a hand towards Maggie slowly as he talks, “REO Speedwagon's gonna be on stage at 10am already…”

“That early?” Maggie's face scrunches up slightly. She's not exactly a fan of waking up early. Steve nods.

“It's not that early,” Steve defends, “it's REO Speedwagon, after all.” He makes a point as his hand now rests atop Maggie's on her thigh. She smiles at his point, and nods along. Steve catches the far-away look in her eyes with which she glances out of the window, and he reaches his hand out to stroke her cheek with his finger softly. Maggie turns her eyes to him once more at that gesture, now holding a sort-of questioning gaze in them. “You sure you want to do Saturday? With everyone?” he asks her quietly.

Maggie furrows her eyebrows. Steve's anxieties have risen again. He worries he's putting too much on her again, having forgotten it's in her nature–like he said himself–to take care of everyone. Such a sudden attack of those nervous thoughts, sudden and out of thin air. “Yeah, I'm sure,” Maggie assures and then tilts her head at Steve, her eyes squinting at him and lips holding a slight nervous smile, “why? I know I'd forgotten about it, but I want to watch LiveAid with you, with Robin and the guys… Why the question now?”

Steve shrugs his shoulders, and gives Maggie a dismissive shake of his head. Dismissive towards his suspicions and worries. His eyes drop to his lap. “No, it's–it's nothing, I just…” he sighs, “don't wanna put too much on you now, you know,” Steve looks up at her again. Maggie searches his eyes, fondness overtaking her features, nearly making her tear up, “if you'd… rather be home with your mom and with El, it's no problem, we can watch LiveAid… another day.”

Maggie chuckles. “We don't even know when it'll be out on VHS, Steve,” she butts in.

“I can cancel the LiveAid watch, I can cancel my birthday party–I don't even know if I want it, you know–”

She furrows her eyebrows, “Woah, woah, woah. Slow down, Steve,” Maggie requests, now more genuine worry setting into her features. Steve's hesitant eyes find hers again, “you don't have to cancel everything, okay? Not for me, at least.” She makes a nervous chuckle. “And you're not putting… a lot on me. I promise.” She assures him.

“I just don't want you to feel like you have to do all these things as if nothing happened, you know,” Steve continues with a shrug, “you can stay back any time. I don't know how it feels to go through what you're going through right now, but I do understand if you want some… alone time, or time at home with your family.”

Maggie hears his words, takes them into account, but looks out the window again to really process them and come up with some decent response. It seems like Steve's under pressure, and he's worrying too much about things he shouldn't be worrying about. These anxieties have creeped into his mind out of thin air. She thought they'd settled all this without really doing it already, that everything was plain to see. Maggie breathes a short sigh. “I had some alone time already,” she tells him finally, “and I will still have it onwards,” she looks back at Steve, “and I'll have all the time in the world with my family because we're moving away. I'm sure I won't see anyone else for some time except them.” Maggie makes a breathy chuckle. Maybe those weren't the best words to say, but… she did say them, because it's what she thinks will happen. “Just… if I didn't want to do all these things with you, I'd tell you. I want to watch LiveAid with all of you, and I want to plan the best birthday party for you with Robin,” she smiles at the idea of it, “it's not too much. Nothing with you could ever be too much for me, okay?” She looks into his eyes strongly for understanding.

Steve's eyelids flutter, he considers her words and plays them over again inside his head. And eventually he nods. Thank God. “Okay,” he tells her, and suddenly feels very emotional, as if there's a knot in his throat threatening to itch more and more until tears start spilling. Steve's eyes fall to his hands again, looking at the figures he draws on Maggie's skin with them, “I'm sorry I ever asked, I just…”

“No, it's okay,” Maggie says and instinctively reaches her hand towards Steve's cheek, cupping the side of his face and stroking his cheek gently afterwards. That makes his eyes immediately connect with hers, “you're looking out for me.” She states in a whisper, and Steve nods, though bashfully. Sometimes his pride doesn't let him feel good about people acknowledging his feelings. And he hates that pride for doing it sometimes. Maggie's thumb still softly caresses Steve's skin, and then she leans in closer to lay a kiss on his forehead, putting her other hand on his other cheek, too. Steve closes his eyes at the gesture, and realizes Maggie's never that before. Sure, she's kissed his cheek, and his neck and many other spots, but never his forehead. What a weird realization.

His arms wrap around her waist as they sit there awkwardly, Maggie's head rested atop his, their bodies slightly uncomfortably leaning across the car's console. “I'll call Robin and Dustin up,” Steve says dreamily, “tell Dustin to tell Mike and Lucas,” he continues, and Maggie chuckles at his words, “and I'll see you… Saturday.”

Maggie pulls slightly away and looks at Steve with a wide smile, “bright and early,” she confirms and boops his nose with her index finger, “I could bake something for all of us… a pie or something,” Maggie suggests. Steve scoffs, but with a grin.

“You think those teenagers eat anything other than chips and M&Ms?” He asks, and the question makes both of them burst out laughing. “No, but they'll love it. They love anything you make, actually.”

“They do?” Maggie asks. “I've never heard that…” Steve just smiles up at her at that confession.

“They do, I promise,” he says, “make whatever you like, and they'll eat it up. I'll buy some things, too, go proper grocery shopping. Mom and pops called a few days ago, and said they'll be out of town longer. Thank God, actually.” Steve laughs nervously.

“Oh, business trip?” She asks him. “I actually met them that day I left your house, before… everything went down.” Steve nods.

“Yeah, they mentioned it,” he says, “won't even be in town for my birthday.” Steve says quietly, a breathy, sad tone over his voice as he speaks. Maggie looks at him sadly. She thought he didn't want to celebrate his birthday, but parents not being there for the celebration or even acknowledgement can sure hurt, even or especially if they're not the best parents in the world.

“They'd just ruin your mood if they were there,” she points out, hoping that it'll cheer him up, or at least make him look at the situation more realistically. Steve nods with a sad chuckle, “but I'll be there. And Robin. And a lot of people we're not particularly friends with, but… it'll be fun, I promise.” Maggie assures. “I'll ask Will about LiveAid, and I'll see you then, okay?” She makes sure, wanting these to be the first of their parting words. Steve looks at her after they've slinked back into their seats and Maggie's now getting out of the car slowly. “Nine thirty am, Saturday.”

Steve nods with a wide, tight-lipped smile. “See you then, baby,” he says in response. Maggie's cheeks heat up with a blush, and she gives him a smiling nod. She takes her bag, pulls it over her shoulder and gets out of Steve's car by herself. Steve watches her close the door, smile and wave at him, and make her way towards her family house, her white sneakers contrasting her tan legs and the colors of her dress just the right way. He watches her up until the moment she disappears into her house through the front door, and he drives away from there with a single thought in his head. She's the best thing that's ever happened to him.

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[fratboykate]

how does Yelena tell Kate she’s prego? have we discussed this yet?

I don't know how I start writing half of these with the "it'll will be quick and easy" mentality and then 3k words later you have....THIS...I play myself each and every time.

---

Yelena shows up at Kate's job on a Thursday morning with a suitcase. She rolls into Kate's office and Kate is like "?????????".

"Got our passports, packed SENSIBLE clothes, and our flight leaves in four hours but it's rush hour so we need to leave now if we want to make it to JFK on time."

"Why do you always want to get to the airport three lifetimes early? Also WHY ARE WE GOING TO THE AIRPORT???"

"We're going to Cabo San Lucas for the weekend."

"Did I..........miss something?"

"Nope. Come on. Let's go."

"I'm...at work."

"Kate, you think I didn't figure this out already? Move."

Yelena exits the office and begins to move down the hallway.

"Hey Sam! Love the haircut."

Yelena casually greets one of Kate's coworkers. Back in the office, Kate hurries to pack her stuff. Then, it clicks and she rushes after her wife.

"You called Keith?!"

"Keith loves me. He agrees you could use a weekend off. He said to take more time but I'd already made the reservations also *I* can't be gone more than the weekend. But yes, Keith says it's okay so hurry."

"You can't just call the CEO and ask him to give me time off???"

They get to the elevator area and talk in hushed tones while they wait.

"You've been here since day one. You've built this place from the ground up. If he can have my wife fifty hours a week then he can handle me calling him once a year and talking to me for fifteen minutes....Besides, what are the perks of you partially owning the thing if you can't act like a boss every so often?"

"I do act like a boss...a lot!" Kate argues, mildly offended. "I get to work from where I want whenever I need to."

"Yeah, well, so why are you making a big deal out of it. You now just get to work from Mexico. Except...you're not going to work. Because that's what a vacation is."

"I wasn't planning on it this week! That's the big deal. It's gonna throw my schedule for the whole next month off."

"Kate, you'll live."

They reach the sidewalk and hail a cab.

"Are we really going to Mexico or am I being tricked into thinking we're going to Mexico?"

"There's four really skimpy bikinis in the bag if you want to go digging and confirm."

Yelena eyes Kate in a coquettish way.

"I swear if we're going somewhere so you can study turtles or something sexy nerdy like that instead of me watching you walk around in a bikini while doing nothing and getting drunk all weekend I'm rioting."

Yelena laughs.

"You can save your rioting for another time."

Off to the airport they go.

---

Friday.

They've been there half of Thursday and have spent all of Friday messing around at the beach and in the pool (with escapades to the bedroom in between to have sex).

Friday night rolls around, but instead of going out to one of the hotel's restaurants, Yelena tells Kate that she decided to order room service while she was in the shower. They can eat on the back porch of their small villa that overlooks the ocean.

Kate cracks a beer from the mini-bar and lounges on one of the outdoor beds while Yelena showers. A few minutes later she steps out, hair still wet but changed into a short - VERY SHORT - dress that makes Kate's eyes wander to all the right places.

"Hmmm..."

"What?"

"You're fucking hot and absolutely slumming it with me."

Yelena laughs and makes her way to the futon. Kate opens her arm and Yelena curls up into her. She extends the beer but Yelena passes.

"Pretty out, huh?"

"Yeah."

"What'd you get for dinner?"

"They had a dinner for two thing on the menu. I chose duck for you. I'm doing fish. There's sides, salad, dessert."

"Oooohhhh...do I get to eat the dessert off you...?!"

There's a knock on the door.

"If you're a good girl." Yelena places a quick peck on Kate's lips and heads for the door. "Come sit at the table."

Yelena rolls the food cart to the balcony while Kate relocates to the table. There's an ice bucket with six beers on the bottom shelf of the cart but no other type of alcohol.

"You didn't get wine for yourself?"

Yelena shakes her head no.

"Just beers for you. Not feeling like drinking tonight. A little sun drunk still."

Kate nods and buys it. Yelena loves a wine, but she doesn't ALWAYS drink, so it's not crazy uncommon that she hasn't had a drink all trip.

They eat.

---

About an hour later, they're done having dinner and are hanging out, simply watching the ocean and hearing the waves crash.

"This is nice. We should get away more. We used to do it a ton, let's get back into it."

"Sure. Where do you wanna go next?"

"Vineyard in Sonoma?"

"No."

"Whiskey tour in Scotland?"

"Won't work."

"I went on a Prague beer tour in college and..."

"That's also going to be a no."

"OKAY WELL, why ask for my input if you're gonna shut everything down? Tell me where we're going next then."

Kate gets all testy with her. Yelena shakes her head, stands from her chair, and walks to the other side of the table where Kate sits.

"Scooch..."

Yelena motions with her hand that Kate push her chair back from the table, giving her space to squeeze in between the wood and the metal chair. As soon as there's a big enough gap, Yelena swings her leg over and straddles Kate. She sits on her wife's lap and wraps her arms around her neck. Kate wraps her arms around Yelena's waist and pulls her close.

"Hmmm...this is nice too...." Yelena starts to ghost her fingers over the back of Kate's neck, knowing full well that's one of her weaknesses. "Are you trying to take advantage of me while I'm a little intoxicated, Mrs. Bishop? Is it to make me forget you turned down all of my ideas?"

Kate buries her face in Yelena's neck and starts trailing kisses up her skin.

"No, but why did all of those have to involve booze?"

"Nothing wrong with booze."

"Not in general, usually. There is a little issue for the foreseeable future tho, so instead of getting pouty on me just pick a different, non-alcoholic centered trip and we'll go."

"An issue? What issue?" Yelena looks at her and smiles but says nothing. "You're being weird..."

"Am I?"

"More than usual, yeah."

"I love you."

"I love you too but I feel like I'm being entrapped."

Yelena hangs her head back and lets out a full belly laugh.

"How is this entrapment?"

"Weekend away...I'm getting wined, dined, sexed, and then a hot girl walks over and sits on my lap unprompted...Feels like a trap. Last time this happened I spent my summer working from a cabin with shitty ass WiFi in the tundra because my wife needed to do research. I refuse to willingly go anywhere where the temp doesn't go over the tens for more than a week now. I'm lucky I still have nipples. We live in New York. Not spending any of our non-freezing days in the cold. It's a bit psychopathic."

Yelena continues to laugh.

"I'm not taking you back to Tiksi."

"GOOD...because I don't want to go back to Tiksi. Besides, not being able to hold your hand in public that whole time might have sucked even more than the perpetually stiff nipples."

"Yeah." Yelena plants a kiss on Kate's lips. "Thank you. For letting me drag you around to all the crazy places."

"Are you kidding me? I'd never miss you nerding out full time. It's hot as shit...So what am I getting talked into now? Just rip the band-aid. I have a fake knee now. Keep that in mind. I *might* have been able to at some point but I *definitely* can't outrun any large cats anymore so would absolutely prefer to not be anywhere where I might end up as a tiger or a lion's dinner. Ideally. But could be convinced to put my life on the line...with certain incentives on the table."

Kate's hands move from where they sat on Yelena's hips and sneak under her thin skirt, delicately running their way up mid-riff to underboob. Her hands come to rest there, and her thumbs move up to graze the perfect, compact mound over the bralette her wife is wearing. An unintentional gasp escapes Yelena's mouth when she feels the cold hand that was holding a beer until a moment ago comes in contact with her nipple.

"Why are you like this?"

"Like what?"

"Like this...so very...Kate Bishop."

"Again...your question has entrapment written all over it."

"Shuuuut uuuuup."

Yelena tells her with a smile before kissing her.

"For real tho. What's up?"

"What I can't take my wife on a weekend away without some ulterior motive?"

"I've closed multimillion dollar deals that require less negotiation than me getting you away from the lab for a full forty eight hours. You taking me away for FOUR DAYS??? I feel like you're gonna tell me you have cancer and only have six months to live or something...Please don't tell me you have cancer and have six months to live."

"I don't have cancer."

"AMAZING NEWS!...Does ANYONE ELSE I care about have cancer and only six months to live? Everyone always seems to leave passing on bad news up to you..."

Yelena laughs.

"No one is dying, Kate." Yelena takes a long beat then smiles. "It's the opposite actually."

"What do you mean?"

"What's the opposite of dying?"

"Not dying."

Yelena rolls her eyes.

"That's not the opposite that's just avoiding it. Opposite?"

"Staying alive."

"You just said that same thing in different words. Antonym of death, Kate."

"Damn! Antonym. We're breaking out the fancy words!"

"You're a nightmare to try and talk to."

A mildly annoyed Yelena tries to stand, but Kate moves her hand from where they caressed her breasts, grabs her hips, and sits Yelena back down on her lap.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry." Kate places a series of kisses on Yelena's neck and without hesitation, Yelena's elbows land on Kate's shoulders again before her hands come to rest on the back of her head, and she begins to run her fingers through Kate's slightly tangled beach waves. "Give me a clue."

"Antonym of death is a pretty massive one."

"Okay. Life."

"There's a more specific one."

"Now I'm picking the wrong antonym. Great."

"Not wrong just..." Yelena kisses her. "...think a little harder. What typically happens at the start of life?"

"Uhhh...you cry a lot and..."

"You went to an Ivy League, Katherine. Seriously. How is 'you cry a lot' an antonym for death?"

"Listen, I've been drinking all day and now you're playing The Thesaurus Guessing Game with me on hard mode. That's apparently where some words are more correct than others. Can we skip the part where you get frustrated then angrily tell me what it is you wanted me to know to begin with and switch it up so you just say what it is you want me to know and then I can take your clothes off?"

Yelena shakes her head.

"You're so very fucking lucky I love you. ANTONYM OF DEATH, KATE."

"OH MY GOD I DONT KNOW...............BIRTH?!" Yelena smiles. "Aha! That was it. Okay. Birth. What about it?" Yelena doesn't speak. She's hoping it'll click. "What? Why are you looking at me like that? I got it. What about it?!"

"There's no way you made it to this age being this clueless."

"No. I've had you to be my common sense for the last...math is hard right now...a lot of years."

"The fact that you don't know how long we've been together..."

"I DO! YOU'RE ASKING TOO MUCH OF ME RIGHT NOW. VACATION. DRINKING. ALL DAY. DON'T REMEMBER."

"Eleven. Eleven years."

"Gross! We're so old."

"Speak for yourself."

"I'm so old. You're beautiful and sexy and perfect and young and I want to have sex with you ALL NIGHT LONG."

"Sure. Stop derailing the conversation."

"I'm not!"

"You are."

"ANTONYM OF DEATH! BIRTH!"

"WHAT ABOUT IT?!"

"Think."

"I'm thinking. I'm thinking. I'm thinking....I got nothing."

"If you're this useless the day off I'm kicking you out of the room and doing it by myself."

"The day of what???"

"The birth." Yelena is really hoping this will do it, but Kate is very much giving her a 'lights on but no one's home' look. Not a single thought in that head that doesn't involve them being naked on the bed Kate can see behind them. "In thirty-three weeks."

"What's happening in thirty three weeks?"

"Oh for fuck's sake, Kate. I'm pregnant and my due date is in thirty three weeks. I'm giving birth in thirty three weeks."

"Nice. That's awesome, babe." Yelena stares at her and gives her a beat because she knows there's a delayed reaction coming here in...5...4...3...2...1..."OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! YOU'RE..." Kate jumps to her feet while holding Yelena in place. She's standing, but Yelena is hanging from her neck and her legs are now tightly wrapped around the brunette's waist while Kate supports her thighs with her hands. "YOU'RE......ARE YOU SURE???!!!"

"Stick test, blood test, ultrasound. I wanted to be extra sure."

"YOU HAVE BABY PICTURES?!"

Yelena laughs and nods.

"In my bag."

Without putting her down, Kate carries them from the balcony into the room.

"Which bag?! Big bag or purse?!"

"Big bag. In the one place I knew you'd never look."

"I'm going to pretend to not be offended by whatever you say next."

"It's in my skincare bag! Not offensive. You'd never go in there. You were blessed with perfect skin and even then choose not to take care of it. THAT is offensive."

"SHHHHH..." Kate hobbles them over to where their suitcase is open and dangles Yelena over it so she can remove one arm from Kate's neck and reach down to grab the pouch full of beauty products. "BABY PICTURE! BABY PICTURE!"

Yelena brings the bag to the sliver of space between them and reaches into the very bottom. She produces an envelope and Kate's eyes light up. Yelena zips up the bag and throws it back in the general direction of the suitcase. She slides her hand into the envelope, unfolds the string of images, and then holds them up.

"Holy shit! That's a..............gray blob?"

"A baby, Kate! That's a baby."

"Looks like a gray blob." She looks at Yelena utterly confused. "Why does it look like a gray blob? Was the machine broken???"

Yelena laughs.

"No. Just too tiny yet. No features."

"Right. Right. I knew that!" Kate goes back to staring at the images Yelena is holding. "Fuuuuuckkkkkkkk. That's a human."

"Uhum. Half you, half me. All ours."

"Shit."

"You're gonna have to start watching your mouth."

"Fuck no."

"KATE!"

Kate smiles and walks them back towards the bed. They plop onto the mattress, Yelena's legs remain wrapped around Kate's waist and neck, but Kate holds herself up by extending her arms, stopping herself from squishing her wife. She surveys every millimeter of Yelena as she lays down below her.

"You're perfect." Yelena pulls Kate down for a kiss. Kate allows SOME of her weight to land on top of her wife but still props herself up as much as she can. She leans back again. "But I knew you were looking a little thicker!" Yelena glares at her. "...IN A GOOD WAY! IN A GOOD WAYYYYYYY! APPLE AND BANANA HAVE JUST BEEN LOOKING AND FEELING EXTRA PLUMPY LATELY AND..."

"Kate, seriously, stop talking so I don't make you sleep on the floor the same night I tell you I'm pregnant."

"No floor. I'm sorry. It was chunky in a good w..." Yelena stares at her and Kate shuts up. "Can we have sex now then?"

Yelena rolls her eyes.

"Sure..."

Yelena places the ultrasound images next to them, then wraps her around Kate's neck again, and they fall into a deep kiss. After a long beat, Kate pulls back and flips the ultrasound over so that the image is facing downwards and onto the mattress.

"Felt like it was staring at us. It was weird."

"You're absurd."

"You still let me knock you up!"

"If you EVER tell anyone that 'I let you knock me up' you're moving out."

"But...that's what happened tho...Bishop gene juice in you so I techn..."

"Nope. Stop. NEVER say 'Bishop gene juice' again either."

"IknockedyouupwiththeBishopgenejuice!"

Kate blurts out super fast before Yelena can stop her, then smiles.

"If this baby is even 1% as...Bishop...as you, you're gonna be a single mom."

"WOOOOWWWWWWWW...threatening to walk out on us before they even get here??? Did you hear that?" Kate lifts her body slightly to tilt her head down and look at Yelena's stomach. "I'm clearly the reliable, responsible parent here."

"In what parallel universe?"

Kate, undeterred, keeps talking to Yelena's stomach.

"Ring me up if you ever need anything. I'll leave my number on a sticky by the belly button for easy access. Any time. 25/8. You just...beep boop bop ring ring...call me. Oh what's that? You appreciate it because you can tell she's mean and bossy already. You have NO IDEA, kid. Reach out. We'll talk when she's not eavesdropping. I gotta fill you in on some shit."

"Things. THINGS. Not 'shit'. Baby appropriate language. Gotta start practicing now."

"Have you never seen those videos of the cursing babies??? They're adorable. They need my training to be one of those."

"No cursing baby. Also, what could you possibly have to 'fill them in on'?"

"That's a private conversation between me and other people who share the Bishop gene juice. Sorry."

"Kate, you're NOT going to make 'Bishop gene juice' into a thing."

"Sorry...oh...what is that? Two Bishop Gene Juice carriers just outvoted you. Two to one. Democracy at work, babe. Getting 'Bishop Gene Juice' tattooed on my neck."

"You'd literally have to pack your shit a..."

"AHT AHT! I THOUGHT WE WERE ONLY DOING BABY APPROPRIATE LANGUAGE."

"You really are so fucking obnoxious."

Yelena laughs while Kate smiles down at her. Kate leans forward to place a kiss on her lips. It all looks innocent and well-intentioned until...

"Stiiiiiiiiill let me knock you up tho..."

Kate whispers against Yelena's lips and grins mischievously.

"KATE!"

[vannybarber]

The Prenup: Final Chapter

Summary: After four years of being together and finally being engaged, Chris wants you to sign a prenup.

Chris Evans x Reader

Warnings: angst, swearing, chris getting his ass handed to him, a lot of pain.

Part One Part Two Part Three Part Four

You lied.

You didn't come back the day after. Or the next day. In fact, you stayed at the hotel for almost a week. You didn't stay in the same clothes of course. You went out to buy everything you needed. Clothes, hygiene products, prenatal vitamins. You were the saddest and most ridiculous thing to walk this earth.

Lisa and Scott eventually came over with your permission of course. You couldn't say no to them. You weren't upset with them.

"How've you been, sweetie?" They both look for your answer, trying to read your face.

"To tell you the truth, I actually feel like an asshole. I honestly realize how immature I was. Chris definitely was, but I was stooping to that level myself. But I won't admit to him just yet. I want him to recognize how immature he was too."

It was crazy to even hear it from your own mouth. But you had time to think it over. You recognized how stupid you looked living in a hotel because you couldn't put your immaturity aside.

"Well this might be a shock to you, but I had a talk with him also and it might've did something." You make eye contact with her and your eyebrows jump. Indeed, you were surprised. She continues.

"I know you guys will be able to resolve this. But you need to try. You've have been together too long to let this get in between you two. I think he finally understands." She sets her hand on yours, which was placed in your lap.

He finally understood? You had to see this for yourself. You hoped to everything that she was right. You actually wanted to fix this and he needed to be on board and feel the same way.

It occurred to you after some time that his points were actually valid. It was just the way he came across is all. You were in your own feelings and took it really personal, which was understandable, but you got stubborn. Even though he got a prenup for his own reasons, you felt as if he didn't love you as much as you love him.

This could all be fixed, but he needed to set some boundaries with Megan. He had no choice. Wait till she finds out about the baby. Evidently none of the other Evans' knew about the baby because it was never brought up. You secretly thank Chris for keeping that between you guys, even though he was most likely still upset that you weren't gonna tell him about the baby right away.

You both are grown ass adults and you're having a child together. This bullshit needed to end.

"Oh my gosh this is great !! All my shit talking did some good." Lisa clears her throat at him. "Along with Ma's great advice of course." You just laugh. You loved your family.

"I think I'm ready to see him. Scratch that. I am ready to see him. I want my fianceé back." You smile and grasp your hands together. You don't think you've ever seen them smile so hard.

"Oh yeah we know you're pregnant." You stop smiling and stare at Scott like you've been caught in the cookie jar. "You know Chris can't keep his big mouth shut." Well that's a Gemini for you.

"Now its really important that you solve this. You're bringing another life into the world!" Lisa exclaims. "Plus I'm gonna have another grandbaby!!"

You giggle and shake your head. "Well we need to head over there right now then!"

Little did you know Chris was on the exact same page as you. Down to every line and every word.

He has always been indecisive and this situation really forced him to take some responsibility and rethink his behavior. You had all the reason to feel the way you did, his intentions clearly being missed by you. Whatever they even were.

He also decided that he was going to set Megan straight about his personal life and respecting you. You were his future wife. And now that you're bringing a baby into the world, she definitely needed to be put in check. He can't even believe how he allowed her to disrespect you like this.

Now he only hoped that you'd want to sort this out and forgive him. He needed you no matter what he said. He did make up excuses because your relationship was too good to be true. He's never had a connection like this before. He never allowed it, but clearly it was for a reason because it give you a chance to come in his life and completely change it for the better.

When he had gotten home from visiting you, his feelings were all over the place. Upset that you didn't come back with him and guilty for making you feel the way you did. He just felt like he was doing the right thing because Megan told him to. Deep down inside, he really didn't even want to get the stupid prenup anyway.

"So where's Y/N? Is she okay?" Shanna asked for everyone. They all expected you to come back too. They didn't know you were this stubborn.

"She's alright. She said she wasn't ready to come back just yet. Which I completely understand. But I feel like a failed once again." He slumps on the couch and lies back. "I don't deserve her at all."

"Now Chris, you know what you have. And what you have is good. Better than anything you had before. You two were made for each other. You're a hard head and I know you're not giving up this easily" Lisa says to him, taking a seat to his right.

"You know she's pregnant." He really shouldn't have said that and he knows it, but he can't keep a secret to save his own life. Everyone in the room gasps. "I found the tests in the bathroom. If I didn't go in there and discover them myself, she wasn't planning on telling me yet."

"Well she probably wanted to fix this before adding more on top of it." Scott adds. And he was absolutely correct.

"Well I'm happy for you! But I you still have this going on." Lisa's voice goes from excited to monotone. She's super happy, but she wished this could have been evented at a much better time.

"Well this could've made things better...or worse." Chris throws his NASA cap on the couch angrily.

Carly speaks up.

"You and Scott should go visit her. I doubt she'll turn it down."

"Yeah Ma. We should see where her heads at. Maybe her mind will change with our advice" Scott agrees. He loves you as a sister. Anything threatening that would have to be put to death immediately.

"Guys, I don't know about that. She seemed pretty definite on how she felt." Chris didn't want to make it worse than what it was, but he always found a way to do that anyway.

"Chris come on" Scott drags out. "We have to try."

"Y/N is a smart girl. She knows what she needs to do and it will come to her. I know it'll work out. And when it does, you'll realize your love is inevitable." Lisa smiles knowing she is absolutely right.

Now she just waits for it all to fall in place.

You were currently outside in the driveway of your house. You drove back there in your car with Lisa and Scott behind you. When you arrived, you hopped in her car to discuss how this was going to go.

Looking at the property, you admit missed your place, but you allowed your infantilism to get in the way.

"Okay he's in there, but he doesn't know you're coming back." Scott speaks lowly from the back seat.

"Wait you didn't tell him?" You snap around mystified. Why did they not tell him?

"Because we wanted it to be a surprise. Well I wanted it to be a surprise." He corrects himself when Lisa throws him a look through the rear view mirror.

"Well um okay. Then this just has to play out itself. Hopefully he's happy to see me..?" You were unsure yourself. The little intimate moment you had before he left couldn't dictate how he'd feel now.

"I'm positive he is, but you won't know unless you get up in there. Go ahead! We'll get your stuff," Lisa encourages. You think she's more excited than anyone. You thank her with a kiss on the cheek and high five Scott then head out of the car. You walk up the driveway to the front door. You didn't get the key out your bag so you rang the doorbell.

A few moments, the door is jerked open. You automatically know he didn't even look through the peephole before he opened the door. He needs to stop doing that.

You appear in his vision and he pauses.

"Y/N? Baby?" Incredulity is all in his voice.

"Yes, that is my name." You giggle. "Can I come in?"

"Uh of course! You live here, ya know." He steps back so you can walk inside. Walking through the threshold, you look around the house as if it was foreign to you. For whatever reason, you expected some dramatic changes. One thing that didn't change is his shoes in the middle of the floor. His bad habit.

"Chris what did I say about your shoes in the walkway?" You scold him and move them to the corner with his others. You can't count how many times you've almost fell face first because of his shoes in the way and truthfully, you not watching where you're going.

"Sorry I forget a lot" he says sheepishly with a tiny smile on his face stopping behind you. This makes your corners turn up as well.

You stand facing him and him facing you. Neither of you say anything. You can't tell if it is because you don't know what to say or that you just really missed each other's faces. Before you do speak, Lisa and Scott are inside with your things.

"Oh guys just put that stuff on the couch. Thank you again!" You point to the sofa, absentmindedly moving closer to Chris.

"We need to talk." Turning back to him, you nod. You remember why you're here in the first place. You needed to put an end to this.

"Right. Patio?" You always go out there to have conversations or just to chill with each other. He nods his head and turns to his family.

"We're gonna go outside and talk for a bit. Okay?"

"Oh yes take all the time you need," Lisa exclaims, shooing you both off. Scott is grinning himself. You just smile and walk to the back door onto the patio. Chris follows quickly behind.

Once you both get outside, you sit down. You wouldn't say it was awkward, but there was definitely some tension. You decide to break it.

"I'm really sorry, Chris."

"Baby I'm so sorry."

Guess he wanted to as well. You were about to talk, but he spoke up first.

"I want to apologize first. I was completely wrong here. I was being an asshole and I deserved everything you said to me. And everything Scott said to me as well." He rolls his eyes at that part. You could only imagine the dragging Scott was giving him. "I allowed Megan to disrespect you and that was a dick move. No one should allow their partner to be treated like that. You're were going to my wife and I stooped that low. I'm truly sorry." He searches in your eyes for something to let him know that you forgave him, knew that he was really sorry at least.

You look away about to let the flood come like Noah and the Arc. You've been waiting to hear that for a while and you knew he meant every word. But now it was your turn. Clearing your throat and wiping your eyes, you speak up.

"This isn't completely your fault, baby." You take his hands in yours. "I am also guilty as well. I acted so immature and didn't even truly try to resolve this because I wanted to victimize myself the whole time. Although you were acting like a huge dick, I still played a part. I am so sorry for not planning on telling you about the baby. That was unfair of me. I know that you love me and that I am important to you, so if you still want me to sign the prenup, I'll do it."

Hearing the words come from your mouth surprised you both. He didn't think you'd ever give in and you sure as hell were making sure you wouldn't. But here you are agreeing to it because you love him that much and wanted to make him happy. Your relationship would work so it would never come to be used. You had strong faith in that.

"That's another thing." He shakes his head and you're now confused. "I don't want you to sign a prenup. We're not doing that. I already plan on talking to Megan about it. And I'm going to address her on knowing her place working for me. Since you know that I love you, so fucking much, I don't need to worry about money. Nor a divorce. Like Ma said, we were made for each other and I'll be damned if I let you get away from me."

"So no prenup?" You needed to hear it again.

"No prenup, love." He grins at you, squeezing your hands. You pull from his grip and jump up busting out random dance moves. His mouth is ajar.

"No prenup! Ain't signing no prenup! Lalalalalaaaaa! No prenup!" After your little dance number, you sit back down with no shame. You needed that.

"I'm glad that you finally came to your senses, Christopher. Your mother taught you well" you say in a pompous manner. He just can't help but laugh. You truly were something else.

"We have a little one coming soon and we have to be out best selves for them. Pinky promise each other that we never ever argue and not fix it in a matter of 25 minutes ever again?" He holds out his pinky finger waiting for yours.

"I promise." You wrap yours around his and grin. "So we're good?"

"Well there is one more thing." He stands up and reaches in his pocket. He pulls out your engagement ring and gets on one knee. Just when you had no tears left to cry.

"Y/N, baby, will you be my fianceé again?" You laugh breathlessly and nod your head.

"Yes, you meatball!" He slips the ring back on your finger and you jump in his arms. Almost knocking him over, he grabs your face and kisses you. You wasted zero time kissing him back because you needed it. It had been so long.

Finally pulling away and balancing your breaths like you just ran a 5k, you both make eye contact and burst out into laughter.

"Come on. Let's go tell them." He grabs your hands and you rush inside the house. Heading into the living room you see them both watching with anticipation.

"So?" Scott speaks and they both stand up.

"Guess who's getting married ?!"

HELP-😌 im so proud of myself. i decided to end this with a nice fluff. it was well deserved. i read you guy's comments and it influenced how i wrote it. some of you mentioned immaturity in y/n and that was really valid. and the point about the prenup making sense.

thank you so much for reading. i am honestly so grateful that you guys liked it. i didn't expect it to blow up like it did. im crying now so bye ✌🏽🤧❤

tags:

@mayafatimakhan @attitude-times @shawn-youth @traceyaudette @kyraroseficreblogs33 @radi0active-thoughts @youthought-iwasa-nicegirl @ohbarracuda @katelyneannxo @jennamarieee623 @craycraycraic @ilikeurdad @captainson-of-coul @joanne-stan @ilovetheeagles @cristinagronk16 @kelbabyblue @onyourgoddamnleft @jessycatth @misz-adrii @geminievans1 @saltyflowermakertaco @a-moment-captured @harrysthiccthighss @dauntless2022 @allboutdatmarvel @ineedpineapple @illyrianprincess @ladycumberbatchofcamelot @thesecretlifeofdaydreamss @marianas-studyblr @obliviatevamps @thevelvetseries @coffeebooksandfandom @shamelessfangirl-3 @quietmyfearswith @kissme-hs @lvgllre @arabescapr @careless-intuition @lady-x-red @donutloverxo @princess-evans-addict

[jboofan]

Chances 16

YN's about to find out that sometimes a gorgeous man can come up with a plan all his own, and it's a given that it'll mess hers up.

Jungkook x YN

Chapter 16 The Plan

(A/N- thank you everyone that's liked, reblogged and read my work! Honestly, thank you so much 💜💜)

Jungkook woke, hoping to have suddenly felt different after having lost his cherry. Perhaps, in an alternative universe somewhere he would be waking up to her beautiful face.

The whole naked in bed, I'm so happy to wake up to you every morning gig.

Jungkook shook, why the hell am I even thinking that?

He was not imagining it. There was definitely someone else in the bed with him.

One eye peered over, ready to meet YN's face, the face that haunted him both asleep and awake.

Turning over to his left, he opened both eyes bravely.

"Arghh!!!" he nearly slid of the bed, clutching his bedsheets.

"Where were you last night?" Hope sat on an elbow, eyes scanned him suspiciously.

"What-what are you doing in here?" he nervously cleared his throat.

"You came in at three. Stupid look on your face and then went off to bed. Where.were.you. and why didn't you answer your phone asshole?"

He mumbled off an excuse about wanting to be alone to clear his head and then feeling crap about the club.

As tempted as he was to text her right that minute, maybe just a quick message, Hope was still sitting on his bed not sure if he believed Jungkook.

"I'm gonna go shower," he said, trying to look natural as he grabbed his clothes.

"What's for breakfast?" he scratched his stomach.

"No so fast," soon Jin entered and then everyone else. "And breakfast was hours ago, it's almost four pm. This pabo, Aish."

"Look, we were talking about it, whilst you were off clearing your head last night."

"Well that sounds ominous," Jungkook sat back down again.

"We wanted to apologise," Namjoon started, "to you and to YN. I guess we weren't being very supportive when we were privy to everything that was going on. After she dumped you we didn't do anything to make you feel better. And the club yesterday when she called us out on treating her life as entertainment I was really ashamed."

"And scared," Taehyung put his hand up.

"Very scared," Hope added.

"We shouldn't have treated you guys like that, so we're sorry."

Jungkook looked back at them, remembering not just last night but the fact that he missed her. A lot right now. Flashbacks at how upset she was at the boys in the club, and how it must have made her feel began to upset him too.

"We will make it better," Jin agreed, "We can call her right now and we can try and apologise. Maybe invite her to a peace offering breakfast?"

Everyone agreed, after all Jin was the professional negotiator of the group. There wasn't a deal this man couldn't make, whether it was for Run BTS, or for a midnight ramen run.

"How hard could it be?" Jin scoffed, holding out his hand.

Jungkook looked at him confused. "What?"

"You're phone obviously. I ain't using mine."

"Don't you have her number?"

"More like he's too afraid to use it," sniggered Jimin.

"Just, um call her. She's your ex," Jin pointed at Jungkook.

"I really could do without the reminder thanks, I know she's not mine!"

Everyone looked at him bemused.

"Jesus, if you don't want to text her you only had to say," Jin cleared his throat, "but since you didn't say anything - call her. Go on. Palli Wah!"

Now huffing, and praying she didn't pick up the phone he dialled her number and waited for it to connect.

Why was he disappointed when it simply continued to ring out?

"She's not picking up," he tried to cover his disappointment with a loud cough. "I'm gonna go shower," he threw the phone to the bed and clutched his towel to the bathroom.

She really wasn't joking when she said she was catching a flight the next morning. Was he too late? Should he have tried to go see her the next morning instead of heading back to the others members?

And why hasn't she called back? Even if she couldn't answer because she was on a plane, surely his missed call would have registered when she turne fit back on? Right?

True to her nature YN hadn't messaged him, her social media outlining how much she was enjoying herself without him.

He scowled to himself. No messages. Nothing. Zilch.

"Enjoying herself way too much if you ask me," he mumbled to no one in particular.

Jungkook was confused, and angry and definitely not jealous he told himself. But his ass did feel like it was sweating. Like I think my bum is sweating again nervous. Standing backstage at the AMAs had that effect on you; but his mind kept flooding back to her.

He checked his phone habitually, fingers moved quickly to her Instagram, a notification everytime she posted. Her against the big apple skyline.

Part of him wanted to look out and see her in the crowd, the other part of him thought it was best to have some distance; at least to attempt to think clearly.

Jungkook told himself the reason his face felt so warm was due to the lights backstage. He huffed.

How did this woman have such an affect on me?

Everything he did to resist her was futile. It was dangerous to his own health to try and move away from her. The more he did, the more it pained him to admit that the last thing he wanted was space from her.

**

That was now a week ago.

Right now he was sitting in the living room in front of one of the biggest TV's he had ever set eyes on, nestled between a mutely laughing Yoongi and a hysterical Jin as they watched some comedy movie. Taehyung was chuckling to himself, throwing popcorn at his general mouth area hoping one might actually fall in, whilst Jimin lay across the other armchair laughing incessantly.

"What's up with you? Why ain't you laughing? Chris Rock is hilarious." Hope took a break from cracking up and looked at him weirdly.

"I am laughing, you just laugh louder than everyone. I'm surprised you didn't notice that."

"Oooh someone has their sassy pants on," Namjoon joined in.

If he strained his ears, he really thought he could hear her voice.

Great, now I'm going crazy too.

He swore he heard her voice this morning as he walked down the complex's hallway after rehearsals.

"Why is everything about me tonight? If that's all you're gonna do, I'm gonna go do something else," he threatened them.

"Yeah yeah, relax. What's wrong?" Jin paused the TV and everyone groaned. Even Yoongi.

"I was getting into that. The little man is funny."

"Come on," Jin said standing up in a blanket of popcorn. "Kook clearly has an issue and for this we need to pause to help him."

"Let's maybe not do that," Taehyung reminded them, "YN was pretty angry at the club, and she hasn't answered our messages either."

Namjoon sighed, "I feel really bad for being so irresponsible. She must have felt so uncomfortable because we made a joke out of it all."

"I've seen her get heated up in the studio when we work on the albums," Yoongi mentioned as Namjoon agreed, "But I've never had her completely ignore me or Joon before like this."

"Maybe we need to reach out again? I wanted to apologise in person and make her something to eat perhaps she might forgive us?" Jin suggested.

"She's not even replying to me," Jungkook sulked. They'd spent that heated night together but she was still not replying to his messages.

"Why on earth would she reply to you?" Jimin couldn't fathom the youngest's thought process. "You're literally public enemy number one. You would be the last one she reaches out to - you're the ex."

"The ex that still wants her," Taehyung added.

"Not the point. She doesn't want me.." he sulked again. Why won't you answer my messages YN! She hasn't even told me if she will agree to our deal.

"How about messaging one of her friends? Maybe they can tell us where she is?"

"What about that cute one, her friend Adora?" Hope suggested.

"Nah, she's a loyalist.. She looks so sweet like candy, but she's been trained by YN. She'll slice you in half our dear sunshine," Namjoon advised.

**

It's almost Wednesday. It took being on the other side of the world to him to gain some clarity. It didn't however stop her head from rethinking about their night together every moment she lay awake.

Everytime she thought about it, her stomach did a somersault. Everytime she thought about Jungkook YN felt nervous, that under the surface parts of her that never felt anything until she had spent time with him were all coming to the fore.

It didn't help that YN had developed the ability to sense him before she saw him. 

As she walked to her studio that morning, there sitting pertly against the door was a bunch of flowers. No messages, but simply addressed to her.

On a walk to a meeting she didn't notice anything out of the ordinary, but on her return, Adora and YN discovered coffee waiting for her.

Soon after, a box set of candles arrived, and it was just a little while later that security called her down in the middle of a editing session to sign for a very expensive bottle of wine.

Jungkook hid behind one of several large plants in reception, spotting her in the distance. Smiling as she nodded, signing and collecting a slim bag. He waited for her to head back upstairs before calling Taehyung and Jimin.

**

YN slowed down as she made her way back to the studio. She spun around and inspected her surroundings.

"This feels off," she muttered to herself as she carried on down the hall and turned a corner.

"Fuck, she nearly caught us man!" Jimin slapped Taehyung's arm in a panic, the other members running in behind them.

"Just remember the mission, give Kook time with her, and stop any interference." Jin instructed everyone. "Cmon we gotta keep her in the studio!"

YN punched in the code, the door opened and she slipped in. She didn't notice that the door hadn't closed behind her as she sat the heavy box to the side and went back to her chair.

What the hell? She shook her head as she looked back over the lyrics on her page. Wasn't he meant to be off on some far flung concert somewhere with the rest of the members? This was the fourth time in a week she swore she saw him. It couldn't be a coincidence.

"Wow something else? I wonder who it it's from?" she asked herself quietly, although she was pretty sure she knew the answer.

**

Jungkook mumbled to himself as he got out the lift and headed to her studio. He was so tense and silent that it proved to be overwhelming. The guys should have already been in there, convinced her to stay and then exited so it was just the two of them left.

Forgetting to check where the others actually were, nervous he carried on down, turned the corner to walk past the rap lines studios - he counted them off as he went, arms feeling limp.

"Joon hyung Rkive," he touched the door, "Yoongi hyung Genius Lab," he touched the handle, "Hope hyung Hope World," he tapped it, went past an empty one and then saw her door.

He read the plaque, feet suddenly faltering. Why has he never bothered to pay attention to the name of her studio? Why had he taken so long to know she even existed??

"The Magic Shop."

"C'mon Jungkook, fighting," he muttered as he banged on the door loudly thinking about his speech, not noticing the door hadn't been closed as he nearly fell in.

Scared to lose his nerve, momentum on his side, he stormed in, YN sat in an armchair.

"I don't care what you say, I'm declaring my love, you're gonna accept, we need to eat Jin's food and then live happily ever after. End of story."

YN looked up from her papers, "The flowers, coffee, candles and whatever this is are from—" she pointed to the wrapped gift.

Jungkook wasn't listening and was on a roll, trying to get out all his words before he forgot.

"I don't care, there's enough feelings between the two of us to make this shit work. With me you know you don't need to worry. My heart will always be in the right place, and forget that you get the best thing here. Me. You know I ain't gonna fuck around. I got you babygirl. Yes I'm an idol nearly 8 years but I will protect you, I promise." He stared at her, his eyes filled with security, strength and loyalty. Generations of Jeons stood with him as he pushed her to embark on this new journey together.

He pointed at the rest of the boys standing there confused, and their juniors TXT who had been sitting around the table discussing songs. "That's all I have to say. As you were.." his confidence took a hit as he realised.

They stared at eachother, but instead of getting up and having a go at him for disturbing her meeting, for embarrassing her in front of her colleagues, blurting out shit about their private lives, she simply looked up from her papers casually.

Jungkook cleared his throat loudly, confidence deflated. "C-c-can I pick you up t-tonight for dinner? P-p-please?" she continued highlighting the page she was on, he stood to attention like a good soldier before she looked up at him through those long eyelashes once again.

He waited. She was quiet, but she saw everything. She didn't say anything, but then again, her silence spoke volumes to him.

"I'm busy," eyes went back to her notes.

"You still need to eat."

"I'm fasting."

"I'll just come back tomorrow and t-t-the next day then. Baby please," he managed, failing to sound threatening at all, "YN," he corrected himself.

"Dinner date?"

"No."

"Dinner?" he gulped, "with friends?"

"Sustenance with strangers," she countered.

"Dinner, no date. All of us," he tried to make it exciting until he saw the literal fear in Jimin's eyes.

"Bam! Bambam misses you. He's not the same."

"I'm not sure when I finish."

"I can wait," he blinked back, big eyes becoming moist, "forever."

"I'll meet you at 8," she sighed as if he'd asked her for her drinks order.

"G-g-good," he noted the surprise in his own voice. "Cos I'm not letting you deal with any shit by yourself anymore. You ain't alone anymore. You got me. Whether you like it or not. And as for him? I'll make him pay in every way for what he's done to you. Make no mistake babygirl."

Whatever she was, whatever she had become, he knew, somewhere deep down it wasnt because of her. It was because of that asshole Kai. But now wasn't the time to ask about that. She'd tell him, let him in on her pain when she was ready.

Jelly legs shuffled over to her, daring to not look at anything but her. Scared he would bottle it if he made eye contact with anyone else in that room, he closed his eyes and willed himself to be quick.

Mouth dry he scanned her, her face was back down, eyes on the paper hair masking her from him. Jungkook leaned in, draped her hair back, kissed her beside her temple slowly, and found himself inhaling her scent. A floral one which he enjoyed.

Their relationship was close now and it was a trusting unbreakable bond. He just had to tell her it was there, that he was here for her before she left again. Or worse walked out the door. He couldn't deal with it.

YN looked up at him with unreadable eyes as he stepped back from his kiss. He swore he saw fire in them.

"Did he just—" someone whispered frightened.

"I'll pick you up at 8," he cleared his throat putting space between them.

"No, I will meet you. No picking anyone up."

"I can't hear you. Have a good session j-j-jagiya," he quickly licked his dry lips and stumbled over a leg as he made a mad dash for the door. "Guys listen to YN. She's so talented. She is a hit maker!"

The room feel into silence again.

"Um, I sent the flowers," Hope put his hand up bravely, waiting to be given permission to speak. "I spent a whole day learning. I wanted to apologise. The roses are from Jungkook but the chrysanthemum and the sunflowers are from us they mean friendsh-sh-hip—"

YN cleared her throat, not looking up from her lyric sheet.

"wewantedtosaysorry!" he squealed quickly reaching out for the door handle.

"The um, coffee is from me. Iced Americano, double roasted, filtered water." Suga shot his hands up in a boxing stance, worried she was going to lunge out of her seat as she suddenly turned the page loudly frightening him as he grabbed onto Hope and ran out the room.

Her eyes lazily looked up, Jin and Namjoon arguing over who should go next. Lightly placing a leg over the other she cleared her throat as Namjoon and his shaking leg cleared his throat.

"Speaking at the UN was easier than this," he giggled nervously, sure he was sweating. "The candle is vegan, ethically sourced and I hope the crystal wards away negative vibes," he coughed, mouth dry, "Jin h-hyung has been prepping all day for you," he shoved him forward and ran out the room.

Jin stood confidently, hands on hips. He wasn't scared of her. She was literally the same age as the maknae.

"Ya, I've been slaving over a hot stove all day, but do you have anything you prefer?"

"Loyalty."

"I meant like any intolerances?"

"Foolishness."

"Any um allergies?"

"Liars."

Jin tipped his head, for once out of words, "Right well, um thank you for your time. We know you are incredibly—"

YN glanced at her watch.

"busy, soweshallseeyouwhenyoufinish! Okaybyee!"

Taehyung and Jimin stood together for support. Neither said anything except give a full 90 degree bow and mumbling a scared apology.

"We are sorry for that thing, we are sorry!"

She was sure she heard a yelp as the door quickly closed and it was again just the TXT boys and her.

"Wow, so romantic!" Soobin and Yeonjun gushed, whilst the youngest commended Jungkook for being so alpha.

"But why are they apologising YN noona?" Huening Kai asked.

Whilst her heart beat faster, she couldn't ignore the effort he was putting into this whole thing. Her mind was conflicted but YN knew how to keep her shit together.

She closed the lid back over her neon yellow highlighter. Her favorite highlighter. Sure she had remained silent during most of whatever the hell that was that just happened, but it wasn't because she was cool, calm and collected.

YN just had no idea what was going on in her mind and heart. Sure she'd heard all the jokes about not having a soul, taking that of others, being a grim reaper around the office, but she was seriously considering whether she had one left anymore. Did she even have anything else left to offer Jungkook?

How could she offer anything when her father had categorically warned her to break things off with him. Though her mother encouraged her to find someone to hold in her heart, her father was about what was good for business. Idol's dating did not however fall under that category.

"If we're done discussing my private life, how about you guys pay attention to what y'all getting paid to do!" she snapped forcibly embarrassed, as everyone looked back at their booklets amoungst stifled giggles, and Taehyun continued talking about what they wanted the song to convey.

YN flopped back into the armchair, eyes closed as she listened, a lump developing in her throat as she no longer heard anything.

"That Jeon is gonna kill me," she groaned inward.