#am i projecting? peRhaps

[lesbospirk]

I get frustrated by fandom mistaking Kirk's impulsiveness + optimism for stupidity. Just because he can be a silly little gambler who believes in the good in the world doesn't mean hes dumb. He is a really interesting and complex character and shoudn't be put into the 'happy idiot' archetype.

Plus, I really hate how optimism is treated like a naive or childish trait in general. It's hard to be optimistic, especially when you've seen half the shit Kirk has

[karikarasuno]

part thirteen | part fourteen | part fifteen

the last few weeks for law have been unnecessarily difficult. he's tired. but really when isn't he? but this exhaustion doesn't sit in his bones like it usually does. it doesn't make a home in his muscles like he's used to. this exhaustion tucks itself in, snug and comfortable, in his mind.

he knows the culprit, the cause, the perpetrator. cora. it's not often that they argue. they have disagreements and they bicker, but arguing isn't commonplace for them. except this time cora has really gotten under law's skin.

you and law have been happily engaged for months now. the kind of happy that people write songs about. the kind of happy that 'happily ever after' dreams about. so why is it that when cora suggested that law go visit doflamingo did it feel like the walls began to close in around him?

it's not like he hasn't dealt with his trauma. after almost losing cora, law's parents made sure that years of therapy were provided to him. and now that cora's fine (besides the nasty gunshot scar in his abdomen) law doesn't care much about seeing doflamingo. better yet, he could live out the rest of his days without giving that man a second thought. so then, really, why can't law shake the feeling that cora is right? that law has unfinished business he never took care of.

he's been short-tempered and irritable ever since. which hasn't been easy for you and he knows it. you try, desperately, to help him. you ask him questions when he's willing to talk and you don't when he's not. you give him space when he needs it and you don't when he doesn't. still, something ugly and altogether unmanageable festers within him. he just needs to relax and clear his mind. unfortunately, he doesn't know how. not when the panicky feeling sits in his chest reminding him that something is wrong.

it's been a very difficult few weeks. the kind that makes him itch with anxiety. something he hasn't felt in a very long time. something he never thought he would feel again. especially with you.

on his way home law receives a text from you. it's a terse 'meet me at your place.'

law finds this odd considering you've moved in together and he's in the process of selling his house. it's taking a lot longer than it should. it's not a buyers' market. at least that's what the real estate agent said. he doesn't question you though, learning long ago that that is a hopeless endeavor considering how good you are at withholding information. depending on the circumstances.

when he gets home, he still pulls in the driveway of your now shared home. but instead of opening the garage and heading inside, he walks across the lawn and through the unlocked door of his old place. it's dark and silent. which is unsettling. it makes that gross feeling in his chest that he can't get rid of wiggle around.

but it smells familiar. it smells like you.

"hello?" his voice even echoes in the nearly empty space.

"in here!" you call out from what he can now determine is the master bedroom. honestly he should've just followed the scent of incense. there's a lamp on in his old room, but most of the light is reserved for the bathroom. and with the door cracked open he can see tealight candles lit on the bathroom counter and your shadow moving around behind the door.

"what are you doing?" he asks before he reaches the door. obviously skeptical.

"taking advantage of this humongous tub before we lose it." when he cracks the door open he sees a scene that is so like you, yet so surprising he can't help the chuckle (practically scoff) that leaves his lips. the tub is filled with an overwhelming amount of bubbles and rose petals are scattered on the floor and around the edge of the bath.

"what's the occasion?" he asks, stepping further into the bathroom to admire your hard work.

"just felt like you could use some tlc." you shrug as you toss a handful of rose petals into the tub and he watches as they sink through the mountains of foam.

"by attempting to suffocate me with smells and bubbles." he's referring to the fact that among the tealights there's an incense burning as well as your most coveted candle. you only light it on special occasions since the scent is discontinued. he should really appreciate the effort.

"oh law," you sigh, dramatic and playful. "how quickly you forget how well i know you."

"and how well is that?" he feels himself soften. involuntarily. a response he only has with you.

"well enough to know that you need a break. a reset." you straighten in front of him. and for the first time he notices how tired you look. your shoulders are tense and your eyes don't carry the same light as they usually do. law feels guilty because this is his fault.

"so get naked and in that tub and i'll be right back," you say before walking around him. but before you reach the door you turn to him, "unless you also require my help with that."

law is concerned that you put some type of sedative in the air because the exhaustion that's nestled in his mind begins to seep into the rest of his body. and suddenly the idea of getting undressed all on his own sounds like such a chore. so, instead, he raises his arms over his head and glances down at his shirt.

your steps towards him are intentional and slow. your eyes are locked on him the entire time too. and your fingers are shockingly warm when they slip beneath his top. you use your wrists to lift the hem of his shirt over his torso until you reach his armpits. you're not tall enough to pull the fabric over his head, so he bends his knees enough for you to tug it off of him.

"kick off your shoes," you instruct as you toss the shirt onto the floor. he does as you ask while you occupy yourself w untying the strings of his pants. you curl your fingers in the elastic band of his bottoms and he forgot how much effort it took to take off his clothes. it’s nice not having to do it for once. it soothes him when all he has to do is lift each foot as you finish undressing him.

“ok,” your fingers trail along his naked hip bones, “get in before the water gets cold.”

he sighs under your touch, his eyes suddenly so heavy. “will you be joining me?”

“yes,” you smile, kissing his sternum before pulling away completely. “i’m gonna pour us a glass of wine first, though.”

he nods and can't bring himself to say anything more as he watches you walk away. it’s not easy for law to give up control. sometimes the idea alone physically pains him. but right now, his body is screaming at him to just relax. his brain is a mess. he swears it’s giving him a tension headache.

he dips a foot into the water and hisses. apparently you’re trying to boil him alive. but he can’t deny how great it feels, so he sinks the rest of his body into the tub until the bubbles skim the bottom of his chin. it really is an egregious amount of bubbles. he chuckles at the thought of you pouring half a bottle of bubble bath in the running water. and then sprinkling it with rose petals as if that would make it better.

“here, love.” you nudge his shoulder with your fingers. he didn’t hear you come in and he hadn’t realized that he shut his eyes. you’re holding a glass of red wine in front of him, a matching glass in your other hand.

law doesn’t savor it like he knows he should. he gulps down half the glass in one go. because he needs it.

“good thing i poured an extra glass since you’re not in the mood to share.”

you unzip your bottoms, shimmying the denim down your thighs. he stares, sipping his wine in an attempt to savor you. you catch his eye when you reach for your shirt, winking at him slyly before pulling the thin material over your head. your bra is next. and he knows you don’t intend for this to be a strip tease, but his body has a mind of its own when it comes to you. that’s one thing he truly has no control over. as frustrating as it may be.

he rises in the water against the back of the tub when you make your way towards him. naked, tempting, and beautiful.

“no no,” you wag your finger at him. “scoot forward. i’m squeezing in behind you.”

“that makes no sense,” he argues. “we won’t fit that way. my legs are too long.”

“yes we will.” you lean over and nudge his shoulder forward. “now, hurry up, i’m getting cold.”

you don’t give him another opportunity to argue with you. instead you slip one foot behind him, not giving him a choice but to shift forward in the tub unless he wanted a knee to the neck.

“so,” you start when you’re comfortably seated behind him. “hair or body first?”

you’re running your hands over his chest. massaging the foam into his tight muscles until most of his weight is resting on you. his eyes fall shut again as he allows your hands to wander and knead. feels like he’s floating beneath your attention.

“guess we can start with body.” he hears you giggle above his ear when he doesn’t answer. and then some splashing before he feels a rag press to his skin, rough but attentive. you rub all the places on his body you can reach before forcing the rag into his hand so he can scrub his legs. he doesn’t have the energy to do it himself, but he finds enough to drag the small towel over his shins as you massage your thumbs into his shoulders.

“all done.” he hands the rag back to you, but it slips from his hand and lands on the floor with a wet slap.

“babe,” you scold him, poking him to elicit a reaction. all he can do is laugh and say “sorry.”

a few seconds later and your hands are in his hair. your nails scratch dully at his scalp as you lather shampoo through his short strands. he suppresses a groan from how amazing it feels. he doesn’t think anyone’s ever washed his hair before. not like this, anyway. with love and adoration.

“have you made a decision yet?” your question breaks through his syrupy relaxation. startling him in the comfortable quiet of your embrace.

“about?” he knows what it’s about, but a small part of him hopes he’s wrong. because if he’s right then this is the first time you’re bringing this up. and he has a really hard time hiding things from you, especially in a position as vulnerable as this one.

“visiting cora’s brother.” you start rinsing the shampoo from his hair by cupping your hand in the water and running your fingers through his tresses. all law wants to do is sit here with you and relax. but you’ve deceived him into being honest. cornering him in an effort to confront his feelings. he should be mad at you, but in all honesty he’s far too drained to be angry. at least with you.

“no,” he answers plainly. “i haven’t because i’m not sure it’s a good idea.”

“why?” you squirt conditioner in your palm and he realizes belatedly that you’re using your hair products. no wonder he’s so at ease. most nights he falls asleep with his nose in your hair or neck. like the only way for him to find rest is if he’s inhaling you.

“i don’t know,” he mutters, allowing his neck to drop the weight of his head on your shoulder. “it’s been so long i don’t see a point. it’s not like i want an apology from him.”

“if he did apologize, would you forgive him?” the question rattles in his brain violently. it takes hold of his thoughts and clutches at them in a desperate attempt to find an answer. one that isn’t readily available. because he's never entertained the prospect of forgiveness. especially forgiving a man as insidious as doflamingo. simply because he doesn't deserve law's forgiveness. it's something so precious and safely guarded. reserved for those he deems worthy of it. but is that rigidity starting to breed resentment?

does law resent him?

"if not for his sake, then for your own," you add, your thumb rubbing soothing circles across his scalp. "holding a grudge has a funny way of manifesting in your body." your thumbs move down the column of his neck. "you retain tension." they smooth over his shoulders. "your muscles get tight." and then dig between his shoulder blades. it hurts. the way you're taking your time loosening him. but it's nice.

and the sigh that leaves his lips borders a whine. he can feel the soft release of your chuckle against the shell of his ear.

"what do you think i should do?" he asks in a halfhearted attempt to compartmentalize. he's usually so good at it. separating his emotions from the situation at hand. setting aside what he feels for what needs to be done. but he's running on fumes. his tank is empty. and every time he thinks he only gets more agitated. maybe if you thought for him, he'd be able to actually find a solution.

"you know as well as i do that it's not my place to answer that." you wrap your arms around his neck and lay your cheek on the top of his head. "but since i love giving you my opinion, anyway..."

he laughs softly, already feeling so much better than he has been. "i think if this means you'll get closure in some way, then you should go. but if you really don't think that'll help then we can stay here. like this, if you want."

"in the bathtub?" he jokes lightly.

"mhm, i already planned on getting wrinkly with you anyway."

he kisses your arm. he's not sure what he did to deserve you. what choices he made in life that lead him to you. you to him. and maybe in some really weird and cosmically ironic way, doflamingo's hand in his life brought him the gift of peace. a gift wrapped in something so precious he'd live out this timeline every time if it meant that you were there to meet him at the end.

"fine." he sinks further in the tub until his knees peek out of the water and his ear rests just above your beating heart. "i'll go see the son of a bitch. but i won't be happy about it."

[avery-braindump]

Sometimes I think abt klint and barok and I wonder. If they were as close as Barok thinks they were.

Like. Grief tends to distort people from how they really were, and over time memories fade. People will only remember the best parts of a person, the things they liked most.

Barok idolised Klint for sure but there were 10 years between them and he must've been a busy man. How much time did he really have for Barok.

Anyways thinking about what if Barok pursued his brother's career path in an attempt to reach a man whom he loved but never had enough time for him

[kiwiaok]

firm believer in neil josten having just as many issues with sex as andrew

[coding-the-lyoko]

I feel like Jeremie would definitely thrive when it's time for college. Not only has the threat of XANA been negated by then, but truly he just is able to work on his own schedule, or at least close to it. I feel as though he'd really appreciate asynchronous or general online college, in fact. Being able to sit at his own desk and do his lessons whenever he wanted to (aka in the middle of the night)? AbsoLutely. Sign him up.

[trans-hua-cheng-agenda]

Thinking about teenage demisexual xie lian who develops a crush on Feng Xin but doesn’t recognize it as a crush at all (partially because he doesn’t know gayness is an option)

Over 800 years and he never feels whatever *that* was again and forgets about it

Then Hua Cheng shows up and obviously develops feelings and only after they’ve been dating for a while does Xie Lian look back and go “WAIT A MINUTE-“ about how he had felt about Feng Xin

[daemon-in-my-head]

Also cuz I can and cuz I think the concept of Durge is great for it; Fine very much has no opinion on his gender. Very strong case of "I'm a monster before anything else".

Also a healthy dose of gender egalitarianism thx to growing up in the environment he grew up in (with perhaps a bit of a softer spot for women thx to spending the majority of his life in matriarchal societies and praying to goddesses or queen-goddesses whatever the fuck is going on with the Raven Queen in FR).

[thejesterstears]

In my heart Pomni has an anxiety disorder and ADHD

[max--phillips]

Hot take: I think Astarion is ace. Sex favorable, sure, but ace.

[inkyrainstorms]

I was a fool, Stanley

I didn't realize what I had until I lost it

I didn't know I had anything left to lose

[keldjinfae]

As far as I'm concerned, Derek and Stiles find in each other someone who they view as a refuge because they know the other won't rip them open to see what's inside, what's theirs. They've both been through some shit, they both keep it close because it hurts. When you're wounded, you're vulnerable--you don't talk to anybody about anything, period. They both interact with people on their own terms; they've healed, they've dealt with their trauma as much as they want to.

isn’t it weird how Teen Wolf brushed over the fact that Derek was basically groomed ??

like, they don’t ever mention that Derek was like 16 (??) and Kate was an adult (i think she’s supposed to be in her 20s) 😭

[drawingswatson-holmes]

Retired and Thriving 🐝🍯

Go wishlist and play this game by @beekeeperspicnic / @jabbage, it should be out by March 26th (less than 24 hours)! 🩵

Alt version + Doodles :)

[livlocus]

if jason grace ever got an iphone the only nonessential app he would have would 1000000% be a solitaire app that he plays only to try and beat annabeth’s score (he can’t)

like leo or piper would be like “you got any games?” and take jason’s phone only to see solitaire and just throw the it back at jason like “you’re a loser??”

[loganslowdown4]

Fairy Godmother: Remember, at midnight the spell will be broken

Roman: Oh that’s no problem, I’ll be done and in my pajamas by like 9pm

Fairy Godmother: Oh but my dear, you have until mid—

Roman: Look I’m in my 30s, 9pm is as long as I’ll last—

[deeply-unserious-fellow]

Im gonna be honest, my feelings on ShadowVanilla tend to fluctuate wildly from day to day? Mostly bcuz the fans of the pairing can be fucking. Insane. And they scare me. But also bcuz I think, while romantic readings of ShadowVanilla are perfectly valid and genuinely make a lot of sense, it's also really fun to read Shmilk as someone who's just like. WEIRDLY possessive of his friends. We need more characters who are just deeply weird abt their platonic relationships imo.

[wolfienation]

rhaenyra is such a girldad. and i dont mean that in the typical "rhaenyra you are the father" green kids jokes kinda way. i mean that rhaenyra has traumatized jace in a way only a father can traumatize his eldest daughter while still loving her unconditionally and no i will not explain further