#am i projecting onto steph?

[casscainmainly]

I headcanon that Jason, Cass, Barbara, and Duke are the major lit lovers in the Batfam, but they have very different tastes. Jason's taste leans toward British literature, stuff like Shakespeare and Alexander Pope (and Austen of course), but he also enjoys dystopian novels like Brave New World, 1984 etc.

Cass loves contemporary novels, including romance (stealing this from Shadow of the Batgirl!). She prefers stories with happy endings, and she also loves detective fiction, specifically British/American Golden Age - I think she'd adore Agatha Christie's cosies.

Barbara has the most diverse reading taste, and is the only one who can discuss books with the others without it devolving into a fight about whose taste is better. Her specialty is feminist fiction, stuff like Virginia Woolf, Mary Wollstonecraft, and Audre Lorde. She's not big on poetry, though.

Duke is THE poetry fan. He's a big defender of contemporary poetry, particularly poetry by POC authors, and loves Hanif Abdurraqib, Toi Derricotte, and Ocean Vuong. He does love Harlem Renaissance too, but makes fun of Jason if he brings up Langston Hughes (along the lines of 'oh is that the one Black poet you know?'. Jason, as a genuine Hughes fan, hates this). Duke, like Cass, loves detective fiction, but he prefers hardboiled noir over cosies. Cass and Duke get into tons of fights about this.

Duke and Jason both loathe BookTok, while Cass enjoys it. Barbara is neutral but prefers BookTube. They tried to form a book club once but Barbara didn't show up (she knew what would happen), Duke left halfway (he can be very elitist in his literature views), and then Cass threw Jason out a window (he insulted her reading taste).

These are just my thoughts, feel free to disagree/add on with any of your own!

[bliklotepblogs]

lautski nation i have started writing another fic i repeat lautski nation i have started writing another fic

[amaraudermind]

I just think Steph would love wearing wigs. She'd like the ability to change up her entire look just by grabbing a wig. Randomly deciding she doesn't like her haircut but instead of getting it styled again or chopping it off in the middle of the night she can just put on a different style or colour or all of the above whenever.

[totaly-obsessed]

Opposites Attract

Kyra Cooney-Cross x reader

-> Kyra joins Arsenal and is intrigued by their young, quiet midfielder

➳ Masterlist

•─────⋅☾ ☽⋅─────•

The transfer window of the WSL was coming to a close, but that didn’t necessarily mean that everything was set in stone. It was Ian Wright who set the project “KCC to Arsenal” in motion – the people who had to do most of the work however were Steph Catley and Caitlin Foord.

It was their job to convince their fellow Aussie to join them in London. The youngster didn’t need much to be convinced, she was however interested in her new teammates, begging Steph and Cait for introductions.

She obviously knew most of the team already from watching them play the previous seasons and from stories but Steph obliged, while Caitlin excused herself. By this point they had gotten through most of the team, even the new signings when they came to the most important section, according to Kyra – the people her age.

“And then we have the younger ones – obviously the iconic duo of Gio and Katherine. They keep to themselves a lot though, and I am sure you noticed that neither got a lot of game time last season.” Kyra did in fact know that, already having done some of her own research. Gio’s TikTok page looked like she hung out with the blonde Danish girl a good bit.

“Teyah is the youngest, currently in recovery though.” Arsenal had its fair share of people going through rehab, among them Teyah Goldie, Beth Mead, Vivianne Miedema, Leah Williamson, and Laura Wienroither.

“Second youngest is y/n. Keeps to herself a lot, is quiet, and loves her books. Tends to be a little awkward at first.” The young Australian was curious now, she had seen you play - a fellow midfielder - but no matter how hard she tried, there was barely any social media content of you. Your personal account has just one picture with just you in it, which is the signing picture.

“Very close to Kim and Jordan before she left. The nicest girl I know.”

Kyra wanted to know just about everything, being incredibly interested in the mystery that was you.

Her signing was announced on the 15th of September – deadline day. You, like most of the Arsenal players, were in Germany at the Adidas Headquarters in Herzogenaurach – It was nice to be home again. During lunch, sitting beside Kimi you were nose-deep in your newest book when Caitlin and Steph burst onto the outdoor terrace “It’s official! Kyra is coming to Arsenal!” And just like that everybody was excited to meet the young midfielder everyone had heard so much about already.

Upon returning to London everyone met Kyra, who was already on the training pitch, waiting for her new teammates to arrive. Most of the younger girls immediately liked her, starting to joke around – and while the young Australian was incredibly stoked to meet you, she remembered Steph’s words ‘shy and awkward’. 

“Hi! I’m Kyra!” You sat next to the pitch, ignoring the break that was usually meant for drinks and reading instead. Your book was always next to the various bottles – Alessia had already tripped over it twice in her time at Arsenal.

“Hi – nice to meet you.” Your smile was a little crooked and unsure, not certain if the brunette would like to have her hand shaken. Kyra however, excited how she was, pulled you into a quick hug and promptly sat down next to you. She didn’t really say anything, just sat there while you read a few pages of your book – handing you a water bottle when Kim asked if you have had anything to drink yet.

The Scot waited for an answer but you didn’t hear her, too deep into your book. A soft nudge to your shoulder made you look to Kyra, who extended an arm with said bottle “You really should drink something.”

Yeah, the first time the two of you talked was awkward. But the brunette would not give up on you, getting closer to you day by day while getting to know your other teammates as well.

Not even two weeks after her signing Kyra was singing in the gym – loudly. While amusing, the sheer loudness the girl possessed, scared you a little. She and Caitlin were messing around on the ceiling-mounted rings, while Steph stood next to them filming the spectacle. In the background, the fans could see you just blatantly staring at the Aussies when Jen came up to you. “You know that you can just talk to her right?”

Your flinching showed the older footballer just how deeply you were distracted. “I don’t know what you mean.” And with that, you were off – but the Australians had already seen you.

“I think you have a better chance than you think Kyra!” The brunette who had her back turned towards you was confused – “What do you mean?”

It turns out that Kyra was much more relentless than you had thought, roping you into one conversation after the other. She even visited you at home, when you were not expecting her - filling your home with endless talks and many giggles.

The Arsenal woman appreciated how far she was willing to go, knowing that you had tried befriending Gio and Kathrine – but due to your shy and closed nature, they thought that you wanted nothing to do with them.

After Jordan left last season you hadn’t been quite the same – the extrovert to your introvert was missing. Kyra however, gladly took the job without even applying for it. She just showed up and stole it – just like your little heart that seemed to beat out of your chest whenever her hand brushed over your back, or when she kept sending you her most mischievous smile.

While Katie liked to make jokes about your inability to speak whenever the brunette was around, it was she who convinced you to ask Kyra out on a date.

She had been very upfront about her feelings towards you and confessed quite early on, but understood that you weren’t ready for anything at that point in time – So she waited for you to make the first move.

It was at your apartment when you asked her out. Kyra had noticed that you seemed off today, however, she didn’t know what was going on – so she filled the silence with her talking, and talking, and even more talking.

This was weird to her.

When it was just the two of you, you usually couldn’t stop talking either, stumbling over your words. “Okay! That’s enough. What is wrong with you?”

Your big eyes staring at her were enough to send Kyra into a deep state of panic, “It’s just- you seem so off! So I thought tha-“

“Go on a date with me?”

The silence was deafening. And just as you were about to ramble, your face already heating up, Kyra jumped quite literally on top of you, hugging you close to her “Yes! Thought you’d never ask!”

[isupposethisisagoodusername]

I know that it's very popular but I don't really like much the idea of Damian being murderous and super serious with his family and a sweetheart with Jon and maybe friends.

I find it stupid.

I do smile and think it's cute when I see Damian being cute with him, but the idea of him being the biggest and baddest assassin ever when not around him just, doesn't make sense to me?

I think Damian hugs his family and gives them gifts and can be a sweetheart with them.

He'll cling onto Bruce and be carried around like a small child because he probably adores the affection

He'll laugh at Dick's shitty jokes because he knows it's sort of Dick's crappy way of showing affection and Damian pays back by laughing

Sure, he won't flat out laugh a lot in the beginning until he's very comfortable with him, maybe a not frown, then a little twist of lips, then a small smile and soon enough he's giggling like a kid who really admires his older brother and will laugh at whichever stupid shit he does (me fr fr, I'm usually acid and don't laugh a lot but I swear to god, my brother makes a funny face I am dying with laughter)

He bonds with Jason and they sit on rooftops late at night, talking about the League and Talia and Bruce and getting used to it and they sit in the library and read together and Jason presents Damian his favourite books and Damian gives him animal themed bookmarks that he drew himself and Jason picks one for each favourite book and they both adore it.

With Tim I think it'd be a bit slower but once the breaking point is reached they'll be thick and through. They'd probably bond over some smart people thing or discussing theories or smart people things, maybe attack strategies or languages (though languages sort of are Bruce's thing) or homework or skating.

Sometimes Damian can't sleep and he doesn't want someone worried (Dick or Bruce) over just some insomnia and he'll knock on Tim's door and they don't need to say anything because Tim can see it, he sees it on the mirror every day, how could he not recognize it?

So he opens the door and lets him in, Damian sits on the bed and Tim grabs the extra pillow that has the density Damian likes but Tim can't stand. The pets come in after a bit but by then they're already both asleep.

I don't know how to write Steph, Cass or Duke or nobody else, so please add to this with bonding with them and Damian.

Tim will be some days playing videogames and he'll tell Damian about his favourite ones and the kid probably adores animal crossing and Minecraft. And every time they fight they'll meet in the Minecraft world when they're ready to make up and they'll make up.

With Alfred it'll be more subtle, it'll start with Alfred learning Damian's favourite dishes from home and Damian will absolutely learn how to cook to give him food too. He'll give him hand painted aprons, cup holders so the towels and table cloths don't get wet or stained (yes they're animal themed let the boy be autistic & obsessed I am projecting fuck off) and he'll absolutely paint Alfred pictures of Thomas & Martha, and pictures of the current Waynes and he hangs both together.

I can add more, I certainly can but my bus is almost at my stop.

So heading over to Jon.

With Jon he'll start out careful and demon brat-y because that's how he is with strangers.

He'll eventually warm up to him, laugh at his shitty jokes that probably remind him of Dick in the beginning until he realises that isn't the affection show, that's a way to try to get Damian to smile which probably pisses him off in the beginning but he does warm up to it.

What he realizes is the affection show is physical touch and quality time so Damian endures that because he himself ends up growing affectionate towards him and he appreciates it and then he ends up enjoying the physical touch and quality time too.

I personally see Damian as a gift giver & menacingly gets rid of your troubles (acts of service).

So he'll give Bruce gifts, he'll give him things to collect and trinkets and things he made himself.

He'll give Dick art and things Dick wanted to buy or whatever.

He'll give Jason books and bookmarks and probably weaponry.

He'll give Tim tech things and alien stuff he probably stole and when Tim gets sick he'll absolutely do all his homework and Wayne stuff

He'll give Alfred aprons, cup holders, mittens, seasonings, books, ties, tea sets, and anything Alfred lets on that he likes and paintings of people Damian knows he loves.

He'll make animal themed things, paper weights, bookmarks, decorations, computer set up decorations, he'll paint their jackets (Jason probably came up with that once he saw a cool jacket and asked Damian if he could paint something similar).

He'll gift Jon flowers and also pet themed shit because yes and other useless shit Jon probably appreciates.

He will also do things to help them out.

Maybe one day Bruce gets down to the cave and finds the whole place organized and the reports he had spent weeks delaying are all done and the ones he has to read has resumes on top and there's fresh coffee ready and there's a new cup holder under his favourite mug.

Jason goes to the library or his apartment or his room and finds a brand new hand painted wooden shelf with his books meticulously organized the same way he'd organize them and there's shelf nook thingies (those decorations themed to book worlds) of his favourite books and he knows damn well Damian did those and there's a note on the bookshelf telling him to pull a specific book that Jason wouldn't really read and he pulls it and there it is, hidden, all his criminal stuff which was previously shoved into the closet.

Dick will find a book with animal jokes on his desk and maybe new kitchen utensils and a cook book and a new coffee maker on his apartment and the place is suddenly cleaned up and a set of new cup holders

Tim will find info on people he's been tracking or whatever, if he's sick all his homework is done and set into a neat pile, Damian will absolutely clean everything up and organize it and Tim also gets a new coffee maker and new cup holder

Alfred he can't really help much so he'll help by setting the plates together after dinner and helping remove the table cloth, he'll clean any dirt he sees before Alfred does.

With Jon he'll help him do his own homework because Jon is probably more interested in knowing how to do it rather than having it done and so, Damian will help with it and teach him tricks and things to do

And don't fool yourself for one moment thinking he doesn't give them all nicknames.

Sure, Jon's beloved.

Alfred's is grandfather in Arabic don't let him find out he already knows

Alfred's is probably grandpa in Arabic or something he doesn't call Ra's by. Don't let him find out. He already knows

Tim will probably be spleen because Damian will absolutely make fun of him for it, but correct me if I'm wrong, I saw it on a Tumblr post I have no real sources, but I think Arabs give nicknames that are like organs or something? So Damian will nickname him spleen either in English or another language first sort of as bullying sort of you're important to me and then it'll turn out a caring nickname

Jason I don't really know which would be but probably some nickname Talia could've given him while he was in the League and Damian copied or something like that.

Dick I don't know either, maybe something to do with Robin and maybe the circus but I don't know.

I know both of them are nicknames probably in the same style as Tim's.

Bruce's dad in Arabic because I'm clichê, let me be.

Alfred's is probably grandpa in Arabic or something similar since he won't call him the same thing as he calls Ra's, and don't let either find out. Alfred already knows

I know it's very characteristic for him to call them by last names but understand my boy was not comfortable and familiar with them yet.

I'm sick and tired of people seeing Damian as murder child instead of child because that's what he is

Jason wasn't the angry Robin, Dick was, so maybe Damian can be not murder Robin. I'm sick of that shit

Let the child be soft. He soft. He squishy. He animal lover. He artist. Yeah, sure, he's a trained assassin, he's super smart and well trained but have you considered that I don't give a fuck about cannon

Also Talia and Ra's and the assassins were darlings with him fucking fight me I'll punch whoever wrote them otherwise

He spends holidays with the other Al Ghuls however the hell holidays work for the total amount of Damian's relatives

Let my boy be soft and squishy and child because he may be totally Jon's boyfriend but he wasn't tamed by Jon.

His family loves him and he loves them back.

[bat-in-the-machine]

I have like FIVE fics currently languishing with chapters in varying states of completion, but NOOOOOOOO I found a new fandom and now I have to write in it...

---->SNIP<----

Marinette's sewing was interrupted by the chorus of Meredith Brooks's "Bitch." Frowning, she stared at her phone, sitting on a table to one side of her workspace. After a moment, she shook her head, and went over to answer it.

"Dáskalos! To what do I owe the honor of this call?" She said, cheerfully. There was a moment's pause and she frowned. "That... is quite the coincidence. Yes, I am willing to speak with him. In fact, I am in Gotham now, though I am currently a guest in a family friend's home. Oui. Oui, c'est vrai. I would ask how you know, but I have my suspicions. I am in a ballroom in the..." She paused, glancing at the nearest window. "In the east wing. Oui. I look forward to seeing you again, Dáskalos."

"May I ask who that was?" Damian asked politely.

"My self-defense instructor. A colleague of hers wishes to speak with me. She should be arriving momentarily." Carefully, she eased her current project, a glam-rock styled top inspired by the current Batman suit, onto one of the dress forms. She spent a moment examining the way it hung, gently tugging this way and that and pinning the seams for adjustment before nodding, apparently satisfied.

"You take self-defense courses?" Damian asked, sounding almost impressed. "What style?"

"It's not a well-known art. It is called Gynaikratos."

Jason, Cass, and Damian all reacted with surprise, leaving Steph confused at the sudden response.

"You're shittin' me," Jason said. "There is no possible way."

As if specifically to prove him wrong, Alfred strode briskly up the hall. "Miss Marinette, Wonder Woman is here to see you. Shall I escort her in, or will you be meeting her in the foyer?"

[starwarsmum]

Maribat Mix Match Monster Mash day 1, "I am not Supposed to Be the Final Girl" & Claws

Steph crept through the house, boom-stick at the ready. The distress call from Cass had been short and desperate and Steph had panicked. Cass never called for help so she locked onto the beacon and raced for the house that was showing as her location.

It was a rundown shack, two stories with grimy windows that flickered with some sort of light. The front door was broken in, huge, uneven slashes down its centre, creaking ominously in the wind. Steph's heart pounded in her ears as she whispered that she was entering the address into her comm-link. 

The door continued to creak ominously as she had passed it, and it set her nerves on fire. Pushing onwards, she saw that candles had been lit haphazardly around the first room she came to. There were piles of fabric strewn everywhere with a slightly more…human looking lump next to what looked like an altar.

Approaching the altar with trepidation, she almost cried out when she recognised the red, green and yellow costume of her youngest not-sibling. His dark skin was paler, arm bent at an unnatural angle beneath him. His other arm was spread over another person, smaller in stature with a red spotted mask on her still features. The smaller person's eyes were wide and glassy, staring at nothing.

Not wanting to confirm that the sticky pool around the pair was what she feared, she hesitated. Her heart squeezed as she realised that Robin Damian had been protecting Marinette from whatever had hit them, even if it hadn't worked. In the flickering candlelight, the only thing Steph could say with certainty was that it had to be some kind of animal.

A strange noise came from upstairs and Steph froze as a chill ran up her spine. If something had taken down Marinette, with the power she wielded as Guardian of the Miraculous and Ladybug, what chance did anyone else stand? Was Cass even still- no. She wasn't going to finish that thought. She refused to believe that both of her sisters were gone. She looked around to see if she could spot anything that would tell her what she was facing, but the only thing that drew her eye was the broken forms of Damian and Marinette.

Stepping out of the room, she tensed as the noise increased in volume; whatever was making it had exited a room upstairs. Steph crouched in the shadows of the entryway and watched as something moved on the upper landing. 

She could hear slithering and scraping as the creature moved and she focused on trying to detect other signs of life. Fear had settled in her gut and she was desperate to find another member of her family so that they could take down this villain. 

The whatever-it-was started to inch down the stairs, claws gleaming as it trailed them along the hand rail, and Steph's grip on her boom stick tightened until her hand shook. She sidestepped as the creature cleared the bottom step and stood once more in the doorway to the candle room. She raised the stick high and-

-screamed when something grabbed her from behind. The room had been empty save for-

“Whoa, Spoiler, deep breath!”

The voice was Marinette's, but Steph knew that nobody could have survived that level of blood loss and she tried to bring the stick down on the person that was restraining her. She could hear more yelling and lights snapped on, practically blinding her.

“-took it too far, Red!” Marinette was shouting, dodging each downward swipe of the boom stick. Things were starting to filter through the panic and Steph took a deep breath at last when she saw Orphan's mask in front of her.

When it was clear that Steph had calmed down enough not to hit anyone, Marinette released her and immediately stalked over to someone dressed in oranges and reds. She began a ten minute rant about how he had told her it was supposed to be a joke and that she was under the impression that she was supposed to look unconscious, not dead. 

Finally, when she was done shouting, she held out a hand for the Fox Miraculous, face hard. Red Robin appeared in the fox’s place, looking sheepish.

“I'm sorry, Spoiler,” Tim said, looking at the ground like a naughty child. “It's just- you said that haunted houses were too predictable and that they never scare you anymore! And I remember, when we were kids, they were your favourite part of Halloween. But I get that I took it too far.”

Steph looked around at the four of them, stunned for a few moments. Then a giggle bubbled up and out of her, her entire frame shaking as she tried to suppress it. Marinette looked at her, concerned, and it only made the giggling worse. Even Damian was frowning in a different way to usual when she finally straightened up from her hysterics.

“Jesus Christ, Red, overkill much?” Steph giggled again, clutching her sides. “Ah, man, now that it's over? That was the best haunted house I have ever been to! Ten out of ten, I almost wet myself when LB grabbed me at the end there.”

“You're not angry?” Damian asked, sounding confused. She shook her head, beaming. 

“Honestly? I appreciate the gesture and the time you all put into this! I can't believe Red got you to take part, Robin, what did he have to promise you?”

“Tt, it is unimportant, just know that I will be collecting on his promises,” Damian said with a smirk.

All in all, it had been a terrifying experience and Steph was relieved that everyone was alive and well. But she wouldn't be letting Tim forget this any time soon.

[mangoisms]

circle k (back to you)

summary: in which you're just the graveyard shift employee at circle k bombarded by vigilantes.

━ chapter five: i am found on the ground | read chapter four

━ pairing: tim drake x f!reader

━ word count: 4.5k

━ warnings: none

━ masterlist

━ a/n: if you'd like to see my notes (and my thoughts behind a certain inclusion of a character in this chapter), you can find them here <3 (also i'm on fire is playing in the last scene the formatting of the lyrics just killed me so i had to get rid of it thank you all)

“You just can’t beat it.”

“It was okay.”

You turn sharply to look at Tim, who shrugs, a small smile playing on his lips. 

In the kitchen, Steph snorts. “Here we go.”

You ignore her. “Okay? Inception was okay—”

“Uncalled for—”

“But true. This?” You gesture to his flatscreen TV, where the end credits for Interstellar are playing; you’re a little bit red-eyed from the end scenes with Cooper and Murph but no less passionate. “This is more than okay. It’s—”

“Not technically scientifically accurate.”

You grab a pillow and gently whack him with it. He tries to hide a growing smile. You don’t understand what exactly he’s smiling at but you don’t care in this moment.

“It’s not about scientific accuracy, duck boy, it’s about love.”

“Yeah!” Steph yells from the kitchen. “Go love! Woo!”

You gesture in her direction. “He literally said it in the movie, Tim. How can you miss it? And Brand, too!”

“It wasn’t enough to save who she loved, though,” he points out—ever the devil’s advoactate, honestly…

“But it was there and she knew that, too, and she was okay with it. And it was enough for Cooper and Murph, too. I mean, literally to the point that she was able to save humanity. Right? Brand said it—love is the one thing we are capable of perceiving that transcends dimensions of time and space.”

Tim looks… well, far from upset or annoyed. He seems amused, almost… almost fond, the way he looks at you, but it’s too much for you to handle, so you look away, pouting a little.

“And also, okay, I know entering the black hole wasn’t ‘scientifically accurate’ but that’s the point, that some higher being switched them out so he didn’t die. You do have to admit, however, that the depiction of the black hole, which I’ll give Nolan props for, was great.”

“Okay, true,” he concedes. “The score was pretty good, too.”

“It was excellent.”

Steph steps out from the kitchen, looking at her phone. “Give me a sec, you guys, my mom’s calling me.”

You both give her an affirmative and she steps out the front door. You and Tim quickly resume your discussion.

“Inception’s score was good, too,” he points out. 

“Bah. They both had Zimmer. Of course it’s going to be good. But Interstellar has the benefit of being enhanced by it because it’s already a good movie. I mean, it surprises even me that Nolan could manage to pull off something like this.”

“He has the range,” Tim protests. 

“Yeah, yeah, whatever, you Nolan stan. I’m still a bit hung-up on you saying it’s just ‘okay.’ I mean, sure, it could just be me projecting my own grief about my dead parents onto the story about a dad crossing space and time to get back to his daughter but still!”

That’s the understatement of the century. The scenes between Cooper and an old Murph never fail to make you tear up. Any of the scenes between them, really. 

The prolonged silence from Tim tips you off and it’s only when you look at him do you realize your mistake.

His eyes are wide as he looks at you, surprised, with something else. 

“Oh, it’s fine—”

“Your parents are—”

You both stop. 

You clear your throat, waving a hand. “It’s fine. I… I mean, sorry if it made you uncomfortable, I joke about it sometimes.”

“No,” he says. “It’s okay. It just surprised me. I guess… I don’t want to—I mean—I’m, uh, sorry?”

You shift on the couch, turning more toward him. “It’s okay. It was… well, not that long ago, but—”

You stop, because your instinctive response is ‘I’m over it’ but that’s not totally true, is it? You don’t think you’ll ever be over it. One part of you still feels horribly robbed of them, and some days, their deaths feel so monumental you can barely get through the day, while others, you can function normally for the most part. 

“No, I understand,” he says softly. “My parents, too. My mom when I was younger but my dad died when I was sixteen. It’s… not really something you get over, I think. No matter how much time passes.”

A quiet moment between you. It’s not like he’s tried to make you feel ostracized—if anything he’s gone out of his way to make you feel welcomed here, to make sure he and Steph don’t get too caught up on their own and they include you—but… This is a common thread between you and you know he knows and you know he knows you know. 

“Yeah… Yeah, exactly.” You pause, glancing at the TV, where the credits are rolling now. “It happened when I was fifteen. The, um, earthquake.”

“I’m sorry,” he says again and you know he means it. 

“I’m sorry about yours, too.”

Tim nods, the look on his face still soft, still gentle, then he glances back at the TV. 

“I was kidding, you know,” he says next. “It, uh, really was good. Better than I thought it would be. Scientific inaccuracy aside…”

“It’s good,” you press, ignoring the last comment. “And I don’t think it was trying to fool anyone into scientific accuracy.”

“Also true. I just…”

“Wasn’t expecting it to hit that hard?” you guess, smiling. “Yeah, I get it. Cried like a baby when I first saw it. You’re stronger than me for getting through it dry-eyed.”

“Oh, I’m just waiting for later,” he says. “Saving my sorrows for my pillow. That kind of thing.”

You laugh loudly. He smiles. 

“It does unearth all the dead parent trauma, though,” he says. 

“Oh, tell me about it. Cooper wanting to try to go back home after they find out Dr. Brand never intended to help those on earth…”

“And then having to sacrifice himself to give Brand a chance,” he finishes, shaking his head. “Only for it to turn out well in the end. If only real life was like that.”

A shade too dark for right now but you can’t say you disagree. 

The front door opens. Steph slips back inside, raising an eyebrow at you two. Though she hardly means what you think she means, you find yourself inching away from Tim, turning back forward slightly. You’d hate to give her the wrong impression.

And of course, that is not at all what she is thinking about.

“Why do you two look like someone just died?”

“Well, we were just talking about our dead parents, so,” Tim responds without missing a beat.

You burst out laughing. Steph groans. 

“I was wrong. You two shouldn’t be friends.”

“It’s too late for that, I think,” Tim says, grinning. 

You can’t help but grin, too.

She groans again.

Catwoman is your next vigilante visitor.

All skin-tight latex and a coquettish attitude that makes your face hot.

Luckily, she doesn’t appear to mind. She even pays for her stuff. 

(“I was told,” she purrs. “And I don’t much like being told what to do but… you’re cute enough to convince me to go along with it.”

You don’t think the noise you made was human but it amused her enough.)

Alongside that, you have the others who regularly drop by. Your vigilantes, but then, as you pick up a few weekend afternoon shifts (much to Steph’s disapproval), some normal faces, too.

Barbara, a red-haired woman with sharp green eyes who has a stately and intimidating aura to her but is always pleasant when you two chat. Sometimes she has another woman with her, a pretty blond Barbara calls D. Then, that one man, the stocky blonde with the tortoise-shell glasses and a quiet but kind disposition, who eventually introduces himself as Jean-Paul. 

You spot him during one of your weekend shifts, waiting his turn as you finish ringing up a harried-looking lady. Another man joins him, a little bit younger, you think, with dark hair and an odd white streak at the front; they’re both dressed in scrubs. 

“It’s been a while, Jason.”

“You know how it is, JP. Work doesn’t stop. How’s Leslie?”

“Doing everything at once and somehow managing to pull it off. I’m sure she’d like to see you, if you could find the time.”

“Sure. I’ve got a couple days off from the hospital. I could drop in. Lend a hand.”

A soft chuckle. “If she doesn’t turn you around and tell you to go rest.”

“I’ll rest when I’m dead.”

He coughs. The other man snickers.

Just as the lady leaves, Jean-Paul says, “Let me pay.”

“I won’t say no.”

They both step up to the counter. Jean-Paul gives you a small smile in greeting and seems to decide to forgo your usual small talk—probably because of his new company, which you’re a bit grateful for. The other man—Jason?—nods, eyeing you curiously. Why, you have no idea. But that’s the only thing odd about it. You ring up the coffees without issue and soon, they’re stepping out, Jean-Paul giving you another small smile in goodbye. You return it. 

Having regulars like that reminds you of the ones you had in Keystone City. Kind Mr. Garrick, who stopped by about once a month for lottery tickets, his wife typically in tow; they were always kind to you, always a little bit concerned over your wellbeing, whether you were getting enough sleep or eating well. Painfully reminiscent of grandparents you never had. 

A little more frequently, there was Linda Park-West, a face you easily recognized from WKEY-TV for the Channel 4 News. She didn’t miss much, always so perceptive, but kind to you, sometimes testing your PR skills as a reporter. She usually stopped by for coffee before work but on occasion, she brought along her kids, Jai and Iris, to let them pick out something for themselves, too. Quite literal balls of energy, they were a handful but always good-intentioned. 

You miss them all a lot. More than you thought you would. The Flash, too. Especially these days. What you’d give to talk to him about all this stuff…

But you’ve managed on your own since your parents died. You can keep doing it. 

The following week, Tuesday night, you get another new vigilante visitor.

This one?

Robin. 

He is, admittedly, a figure you are considerably more scared of. It’s a bit… silly on your part, too, because he is a kid, you think, a teen at least, but, well, teens can be scary. This one certainly is. If only because of his close proximity to the one who scares the most. The one who you are happy not to have visited you thus far and Robin’s appearance… well, you don’t entirely know if it’s a good thing. 

But it might be foolish to assume that Batman doesn’t know this is happening. 

But then thinking of him knowing you exist makes you horribly anxious, so, you shelve the thought for now and try to focus on the situation.

Which is…

The three dogs in tow collapse in front of the door, panting, tongues lolled out, appearing to enjoy the air-conditioned bliss of the inside of the store. Robin stares at you, his face a blank mask. 

“Water?”

“At the back. Far left.”

He nods and turns.

You wait there, uncertain, glancing at the dogs. They look worse for wear, fur dirty and matted, old scars healed over; the sight tugs at your heart, so you step around from the counter, heading to the coffee machine. The store doesn’t carry bowls but the extra-large soda cups are wide enough to work for now. 

Robin appears near you, several big bottles of water held in hand. He doesn’t say anything, just looks at you and the cups.

“Don’t have any bowls,” you admit. “So, I thought this might work.”

He wrinkles his nose. “Styrofoam. Wasteful. But it’ll do.”

“Yeah, Circle K isn’t breaking barriers in terms of eco-friendliness.”

He says nothing to that, just turns and heads for the dogs. You follow him, not that turned off. You’ve heard rumors about this particular Robin. He does a good job but can be… rough around the edges. Like Bat, like Robin, you guess.

Glancing at the cups, you get an idea, stopping to duck around the counter and grab a pair of scissors. You cup off the top half of each of them, Robin taking them as you go, until all three cups are cut, allowing for the dogs to have better reach. 

You join him with the last one, filling it with cold water. Most of the dogs are so heat tired, they only lift their heads to drink, seemingly unable to stand.

You and Robin stay kneeled in front of them, filling the cups when necessary. You gently stroke the head of one nearest to you, smiling as his tail thumps against the tiles. 

Robin says nothing else and neither do you. That’s how his time there goes, spent in silence, petting the dogs, letting them cool down and rest. 

Eventually, he starts to leave, and you can’t help but ask, “What’s going to happen to them?”

He regards you for a moment and you get the unnerving feeling of being picked apart and analyzed. Still, you hold steady. It’s good practice, you try to tell yourself. One day, you’ll be faced with bloodhounds for journalists and you have to keep it together. Let yourself practice with Robin because if you can pull it off with him, you can do it with anyone. 

“The shelters are closed for the night,” he eventually responds. “I will take them somewhere safe, off the streets. Then in the morning, they’ll go there.”

“That’s good. Thanks for doing that. It’s kind of you.”

He pauses, looking back at the dogs, who are rejuvenated by this point, stretching and standing up, tails wagging as they look at you two. 

“It’s the right thing to do,” he says at last. “And… thank you, for your help.”

You glance away, picking up the cups. “Sure. No problem.”

A nod and Robin is soon corralling the dogs out of the store, murmuring more gently to them than you would expect, but from this experience, you suspect he has some kind of soft spot for animals. It’s endearing, in a way. 

You hope you made a good impression on him, too. 

(And if your good impression keeps Batman out a little longer, well, that’s just a lucky coincidence.)

The start of July creeps on you. 

There is still achingly little contact between you and Tim. By this point, you haven’t seen him in person for more than a month.

You miss him, in the same way you miss a limb. Scrolling through your social media, whenever you find something funny or that he would like, your knee-jerk reaction is to send it to him. But your conversations on those respective platforms are made up of messages from you and none from him, so you have to stop yourself, because it wouldn’t be worth it. He wouldn’t see it. 

Steph tries to preoccupy your time, though her behavior regarding Tim grows increasingly skittish, to the point where you almost think she might know.

She might know that you’re in love with him, him, her ex-boyfriend and first love. The thought brings on the usual amount of soul-crushing guilt and disgust with yourself. How can you do that to her? She’s your best friend. You love her to the ends of the universe and back and… How can you do that to her?

But… something else about it all niggles at you, too. She switches between reassuring you he’ll come around, and dismissing him the other times, saying you ‘don’t need him to have a good time.’ It makes you think they may be having their own issues, too.

The thought is sobering. 

You’ve always thought of Steph and Tim as—as insane as it sounds—a pair of bonded kittens. Not exactly getting along all the time but…

You couldn’t separate them. You shouldn’t separate them. 

And it feels so wrong for it to be just you two, sometimes. Like you’re missing another piece of the puzzle and it’s noticeable. This empty space between you two that he usually filled. Your group chat, at his insistence, is called the three musketeers. Well, you’re missing your third. Desperately.

“We can rebrand,” Steph says to you one day, the two of you at the mall’s food court. Tim said he was busy. Again.

“No,” you sigh. “That’s not… no. Anyway, Big Belly?”

“I—oh, you have got to be kidding me.” She sounds annoyed, voice sharp.

“What?” you ask, your eyes still on the menu in front of you. 

She grabs your arm. “I think we should eat somewhere else.”

You frown at her. “But you said you wanted to get—”

“We can get Big Belly somewhere else. Maybe a little more quiet, you know, it’s kinda crazy in here,” she laughs, though it sounds strained as she tugs you over to the exit. 

“Crazy? It’s not that busy—Stephanie!” You yelp as she drags you forward before you can take a look around. “What is going on—”

“It’s just—I think I see Jordanna—”

“Where—”

“Let’s not look! Don’t want her to see you or me, you know how she is, so, let’s get out of here…”

“Well, I—okay—you don’t have to—”

She tugs you all the way through the exit, out into the burning mid-afternoon heat. Humidity swallows you whole, turning your skin tacky, sun bearing down on you full-force. Outside, it smells sharply of gasoline and hot blacktop.

“Honestly, Steph,” you say, shaking your head. “You didn’t need to drag me out like that.”

She gives you an apologetic smile. “Sorry. I just… didn’t want to deal with Jordanna. She’s been really annoying me recently.”

“Has she?” You can’t imagine why Jordanna would even be talking to her since it’s the summer, but to be fair, there isn’t much Jordanna wouldn’t do in the name of annoying her. 

“Yup. Just… acting way out of line. So, let’s go somewhere else.”

“Alright, that’s fine. Let’s get out of the heat before you have to scrape me off the pavement.”

“Food’s on me,” she promises, looping her fingers through the belt loops of your jeans, tugging you gently; too hot to hold hands or twine your arms together like usual. 

Though the whole thing bothers you a little bit, you are too used to Steph and Tim’s sometimes strange ways. Leaving abruptly, missing scheduled hangouts, a penchant for tardiness. The occasional bruise or cut that they both wave away. The exhaustion that wears them down sometimes.

It’s odd.

But stranger things happen in Gotham, so, you heed their wishes for that stuff to be ignored. 

Just like you let this one go, too. 

Really. The things you do for them.

Oddities aside, as Tim remains virtually radio silent, you miss him more. Think about him more. 

Dream about him more.

“Steph’s going to be late,” is what Tim says as soon as he steps inside your dorm. 

You snort. “Of course she is. You’re both terrible at being punctual.”

“I… am less bad at it than she is.”

“Right,” you say, smirking, pointing to your clock. “You’re only twenty minutes late, compared to what her forty minutes to an hour will be.”

Tim grimaces as he shuffles off his shoes by the door, then steps in further. “She said she was showering.”

“So, we have even more time. That’s fine. I wanted to paint my nails.”

In the bathroom you share with your ‘roommate,’ the shower turns on. It’s really just the bathroom you two share. Your small dorm is entirely private. The perks of being a junior. 

You go over to your dresser, where your collection of makeup and nail polish is. Above it, your window looks out to the grassy quad, the sky clear of clouds, unusually blue today without the typical smog; the sun shines in, dust motes dancing in the rays.

Tim comes over, too, but he goes for your phone instead, which is connected to your Bluetooth speaker, music playing lowly; he got that for you this past Christmas. 

“Gonna play your old people music?”

“Bruce Springsteen is a treasure to this country and, to quote my dad, one of the few good things to ever come out of the state of New Jersey.”

You laugh. The song changes. The upbeat notes of Hungry Heart start. You’ve heard this one more than a couple times since meeting him. It’s not so bad. 

You fiddle with the bottles of nail polishes. Tim sets your phone down and leans over, dropping his chin to your shoulder as he watches you, humming quietly under his breath. 

The contact makes your heart skip a beat, tendrils of his cologne wrapping around you, the heat of his body palpable through your thin t-shirt. It’s a contradicting sensation, with the AC working hard to beat the May heat that’s settled in. Maybe too hard, as your fingers are a little bit cold. You warm up quickly with Tim so close to you, your heart thudding in your ears. You desperately hope he can’t feel the heat that expands in your face.

That’s a more recent development. One you hate looking too closely at, for fear of what it means.

(You do know what it means. You’re just still in denial. Because admitting it means you have feelings for your best friend’s ex-boyfriend. For your best friend.)

You keep fiddling, not sure which color to pick. Tim huffs softly, reaching past you, picking out a bottle of wine red nail polish.

“Fine. But you have to help,” you say, taking it from him, then grabbing another bottle for the top coat. 

“Don’t I always?”

You just nudge him back, stepping away from the dresser and taking a seat on the floor. The floor is hard, polished concrete; not pleasant to sit on or walk on, so you’ve invested in several cushioned rugs to cover as much as you can. 

Tim grabs a Zesti from your mini fridge, then joins you as you set to painting the nails of your left hand. This one is easier since you’re using your dominant hand and you manage to paint your nails without catching any of the skin around them. 

The shower in your bathroom hums underneath the sound of the song as you finish your left hand. The first coat, anyway. Tim passes his Zesti to you, wipes a hand on his jeans to get rid of the condensation, then takes the bottle of nail polish. 

You sip the soda, extending your right hand to him. He carefully balances the bottle on the rug and sets to painting your nails. 

Like with most things he does, Tim dedicates himself to his task wholeheartedly, cornflower blue eyes trained on your hand, tongue poking out in concentration. The sight makes your heart skip a beat. Warmth unspools in your chest like cotton candy.

Sunlight pours in from the window above the dresser, bathing him in warm, golden rays; it makes the shade of his dark hair warmer, the blue of his t-shirt, too, softening the pale of his skin. 

“So… how was that date?”

The question jars you. You avert your eyes. 

Ah. The date you agreed to go on with a guy in your communications class in an attempt to… you don’t know. Distract yourself from Tim? Try to find someone else to latch onto? All… not so great reasons, you know, but needs must. 

Not like it worked out, anyway…

“Terrible.”

He stiffens, pausing in his work to look at you, eyes narrowing, and you send him a small smile, privately pleased—though you shouldn’t be—at seeing him get all protective. You can take care of yourself and he knows that, too, but… one can appreciate having a cute guy be like that for you. Within reason, anyway. 

“He didn’t do anything, Timmy, relax. He was just… well, seemed nice initially. But when we got to the restaurant, he was horrible to the waitress. I already wasn’t feeling it, but after that, no way. So.”

He glances away, thumb rubbing idly at the back of your hand from where he cradles it in his. “Sorry to hear that.”

“It’s okay. It wasn’t a good idea.”

“To go with him or—” he clears his throat, turning back to his work “—dating in general?”

“I don’t know. He just wasn’t what I was looking for.”

“What are you looking for?”

You, you want to say, but don’t. 

Frightening to realize, really, that the answer to that question is immediate, as sure as the day. 

It’s Tim. 

Always Tim. 

But you’ve never felt this way for someone. This strongly, like you want so much, you could never be satisfied. 

“I don’t know,” you say quietly, watching the brush of the handle glide over your nail in easy, practiced sweeps. “Does anyone?”

“I guess not,” he concedes softly. “But still. I hope you can find it.”

The song changes. Something calmer, with the strum of the guitar. Familiar croons of I'm On Fire.

I have found it, you want to say. It’s you. It’s this. Right here, right now.

But just because you found it doesn’t mean it’s yours.

“Do you?” you find yourself asking because apparently you’re feeling extra masochistic today. “Know what you’re looking for, I mean.”

Steph sometimes teases him. Tries to point out nice boys and girls he might like. You used to play along. You don’t so much these days. 

He would always wave it off, anyway. Just shake his head and change the subject. He has dated before. Obviously. Someone as gorgeous as him… all of Gotham wants a piece of him. You do, too. Well. You want all of him. Which is another thing you are just now realizing. But anyway, since you’ve known him, he hasn’t dated anyone. He used to date a boy—Bernard? Steph said he was a character—from one of his old high schools but that didn’t work out. And now he still has the occasional date, but it never pans out. He says they just aren’t compatible. 

Makes you curious.

You’d never match up to it, you know, but you want to know, anyway. 

Tim looks up, his eyes slowly scanning your face. This close, with the sunlight, you can see the shadows his lashes cast on his cheeks, the flecks of silver in his eyes, like mercury, the odd scars, too, that he excuses behind clumsiness as a child. Everything inside you squeezes.

“I guess you can say that,” he eventually says, voice soft. 

The words hurt, but distantly, like it’s all far away from you. You’re too caught up here, now, close enough to smell his cologne. 

Tension thickens the air between you. It’s unfamiliar, unknown, but not unwelcome with how your stomach swoops like you missed a step, heart pounding in your ears. 

Tim looks… contemplative. Your eyes are immediately drawn to the movement of him biting his lip, teeth sinking into plush pink, and the urge to soothe away the indents with your own lips is fearsome, monumental, like a hurricane. 

His fingers tighten on your hand. You want to get swept away in this moment, no matter the consequences. It’s a dangerous kind of feeling you aren’t used to. 

But the shower abruptly shuts off in the bathroom, plunging the room back into silence with the strum of the guitar and the croon of the song as it ends. The moment is broken. 

Tim clears his throat and returns to his work. 

Neither of you say anything. 

Too much for you to want. 

Too much you cannot have.

Too complicated.

reblogs are appreciated!

taglist: @peachesona @knoxx-seresinbradshaw @kikis-writing-service @sweetistic @soundsfunbutno @ginevraxrogers @fridaenpina @skcj24 @bath1lda @omfg-its-tay @laughydaphne @fhrjrirj @iamthesimpmother @alittlelateforstars @thaliadoesthings @scarlett13 @zelabee @coffee-love-alltheabove @benstormy @sad-girl09 @lockofspades @thereallchristine

[ask to be tagged! either here or my inbox! ^_^]

[ynbabe]

Batfam x male reader

Jason: How did you know there would be an extra uniform in the bag?

Tim: Everyone knows flight attendants are required to carry extra uniforms, in case they get called to work unexpectedly.

Dick: Or if something happens to the one they're already wearing.

Tim: Everyone does not know that. How did you both know that?

Roy (yes he’s a bat now, no idgaf abt queen): Worked airport security.

Jason and Y/n: *Simultaneously* Slept with a flight attendant.

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Jason: *sighs* I have no friends...

Y/n:

Y/n: *coughs* Bitch, what am I? A roach?!

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Tim: I can’t go, Dick’s mad at me 

Y/n: Why?

Tim: Well there was too many people watching on the Netflix account so I texted him and told him to check the news ‘cause Batman was dead and when he saw I was lying he couldn’t get back onto the Netflix because I had taken his spot

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Jason: [on the phone] Hey do you remember when I said that me and Y/n were gonna have a calm night out?

Steph: Yes?

Jason: How much bail money do you have?

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Jason: [takes off his shirt and jumps into a fighting stance] Fight me you bitch

Y/n: [picks up Harley’s shirt and puts it on] What’s your next move?

Jason: Wait what-? Gimme my shirt back

Y/n: No you’ve made your decision 

Jason: L/n I’m cold

Y/n: Should’ve worn a shirt then

━━━━━━━━━���━━━━━━━━━

Dick: Damian loves the outdoors

Dick: That time we went camping he was like Mowgli running around those woods

Dick: I swear Y/n, he was that happy that I honestly thought about just leaving him there

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: Are you all caught up on homework?

Tim: I have a project due on Tuesday and I’m not saying I haven’t started but if you ask to see what I’ve done so far there wouldn’t be anything 

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: Pete, why did you put syrup on the shopping list?

Steph: Cause I like syrup

Y/n: Yes but now it’s all sticky

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n, serious: Don't go falling in love with me

Jason, also serious: Yeah, that's not a problem

*A few days later*

Jason: *yelling as he runs to Dick's room* DICK, I HAVE A PROBLEM

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Dick: Do NOT drink the night before the awards ceremony 

Jason: Yeah yeah, be on time, don’t mess things up

Dick: NO. Alfred’s booked a bagpipe choir. You do NOT want to be hungover for a bagpipe choir

Y/n: Oh fuck

Dick: We’ll go out AFTER the ceremony

Dick: When the bagpipe choir has left the premises 

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: Tim got so drunk last night he puked all over my living room

Tim: It was the laughing! You made me laugh and I threw up!

Jason: Yeah it wasn’t the nine vodka sodas, it was the laughing

Y/n: “Oh my god! I drank so much laughter before this!”

Tim: 

Jason: You owe us a new rug

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: [climbing down the side of the building]

Tim: Y/n!

Tim: Y/n come back! You’re gonna miss your cocoa!

Y/n: [in the distance] I know!

Tim: Well can I have it then?

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Jason, after getting Tim duty: Horror movies don’t scare Tim

Dick: But Chuckie is so creepy though

Tim, spending wayyy to much time on Y/n with this: If I had to fight Chuckie I’d stand in an open field and kick him like a soccer ball every time he came towards me

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: We need to find Dami, do you have a picture of him?

Tim: No but I can draw him from memory 

Tim: How tall is he? Like 2 feet?

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: Have fun at your party

Tim: Thanks

Y/n: You know what they say: “Liquor before beer, never fear. Don’t do heroin”

 Tim: It’s a parent-controlled sociale for rich kids in Gotham I’ll be back before 9

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: Fuck sake Bruce you said I had to babysit one kid

[Dick, Jason, Steph, Cass, Tim, Duke and Damian waving]

Bruce: They don’t exactly come separately... and you only need to look after Damian

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: [waking up from a near death injury] You were scared

Jason: Nah, I was waiting to inherit your millions

Y/n: Let me know where you find them, huh?

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Bruce: Can’t you leave Damian alone?

Tim: I got all the Justice league, young justice, teen titans, titans, everyone at WE and a bunch of interns to sign this notebook I had and then I wrote “Sign here if you think Damian is stupid” on the cover

Tim: He almost cried 

Tim: It was great

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Dick: Kid, could I have a moment in private with Y/n?

Tim: Sure, I’ll just plug my ears and sing an old sea shanty

Dick: Wait-

Tim: There once was a ship that went to sea-

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Tim, crushing on Y/n: Can I just say that I’d love to listen to you talk about Hell all afternoon Y/n

Jason, dating y/n and having met in hell: And can I just say that if I had my guns right now I’d shoot myself

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n: Uhhh

Damian: *scoffs*

Y/n: You want a beer?

Dick: He's ten!

Y/n: I don't know, what am I supposed to do with him!?

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Damian: I wanna ride a horse

Y/n: Alright sweetie here’s the horse

Damian: That’s a horse? 

Damian: [picks up book] I thought this was a horse?

Y/n: Damian that’s a cow

Damian: I wanna ride that

Steph: Me moo

Y/n: You’re not helping 

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Tim, clearly drunk: I don’t even know how to drink! I’ve never had one! Like what do you even mix vodka with?

Y/n: A straw

━━━━━━━━━▼━━━━━━━━━

Y/n, at a PTM meeting: Wait- that guy is the bullying you?

Cass, under strict orders from Bruce not to fight: Hmm 

Y/n, knowing Bruce can’t say shit to him: [powering up] Not my first human, doubt it will be my last 

[im-not-a-l0ser]

I’ve seen a couple posts of yours pop up on my dash, and (absolutely no hate here) I’m getting the impression that you don’t really like Grace? Now, I am incredibly new to the Hatchetfield community (as in, I watched early Starkid, fell out of it because Darren Criss left, and am just now returning), so I’m not sure what all has happened in all multiverses.

With characters like Grace, maybe I tend to project a little bit of my old high school self onto them, because I used to exude an air of moral superiority since I was vocally and unapologetically Protestant in a classical Catholic school. I find ultra-religious characters interesting to play around with, especially in predominantly queer spaces like Starkid, since I was that ultra-religious kid (who is now vocally and unapologetically queer).

So, I guess what I mean to ask is: What is your opinion of Grace, and why? You seem to know a lot about this universe, so I’m hoping to grasp at the general attitude of this fandom towards women before I jump back in.

Oh, so you're... you're going to make it about gender then.

I actually had a whole thing typed up about why I don't like Grace and people's perception of her, but I suppose I'll just post it separately. Maybe I'll link back to this idk. Good base for a post I was already planning on making.

So here's the thing. I don't hate Grace because she's a woman, I hate Grace because she's a fucking psychotic bigot who people need to stop perceiving as something she's not.

I've gone on a whole rant already specifically about this. But there are spoilers in it, so if you haven't seen NPMD bc you're waiting to get a grasp on the vibe of the fandom, you shouldn't read it. Or you should at least watch NPMD first.

So, just a rundown. I hate Grace because she is hyper-religious and I have religious trauma. I hate that people don't see her religion as a core part of her identity, making her fundamentally for and against some things, but still joke about her being christian.

And, before someone get's at me about how I still like Mark. I really didn't, but Curt Mega posted this, which made him a much more complex character in my eyes. I'm sure he was joking, but Mark being gay and having a double life that causes him guilt in both directions is forever embedded in my head.

And sure, Grace is a complex character, she really is. But parts of the problem are 1, people don't pay much attention to her actual complexities, and 2, she's seriously psychotic. And that's not me being like 'women be crazy,' that's me watching the show and thinking... 'oh my god, she's fucking insane' at the end of act one, and at the end of Virginity Camp.

But Grace is really the only girl character in Hatchetfield that I dislike, especially so passionately. I like Emma and Steph and Becky, although Linda I'm not really a fan of actually. But y'know, another "she's a fundamentally bad person" thing there. I even like Ruth, who I initially didn't (I'm asexual and her whole thing made me really uncomfy watching it). Jeri's a weird case, but mainly because both her and Jerry are fucking stupid. Like... just get married! Just get married, you two have liked each other for over a decade, just get married!

So, if you want my attitude on women, there it is. I like good characters and I dislike bad characters. I dislike characters who are against things that I stand for, like being queer, and... idk, not starting cults.

[doublestandardlove]

G

Black Friday Eve y'all! I might write smth new for it tomorrow :) also, if you couldn't tell, Grace is my favorite blorbo to project onto

G is for:

Grace knelt down in front of his body with tears streaming down her face. She'd planned this down to the last detail.

Dismember the body. Douse the area and body parts with bleach. Wrap it up in plastic and under the floor boards it would go.

It. He would no longer be a person, but an amalgamation of body parts. The reality of the situation began to sink in as Grace continued to sob.

She hadn't planned for this. The raw emotion that would come from taking another person's life. But hadn't he deserved it? It was his fault for tempting her away from her faith, not hers.

She was meant to withstand temptation. That's why she'd done this. To get rid of those dirty and sinful thoughts that had been plaguing her mind.

Grace set the hatchet aside and pressed her blood-stained palms together in prayer. "Dear Lord," she began, resisting the urge to wipe the tears from her face.

"Thank you for these challenges you have put into my life. I am reminded of your sacrifices and prepare to make my own. I have tried my hardest to abide by your commandments and encourage others to do the same."

Her voice caught in her throat, making her stutter. "I know Pete did not believe in you. But I do. Please, spare his soul. He had time to grow, to change. And I... I took that from him."

She did, didn't she? Grace had taken the matter into her own hands and sent him straight to Hell. Sure, he wasn't always chaste in his affection with Steph and frequently affiliated himself with sinners, but he didn't deserve eternal damnation.

Grace slowly opened her eyes to look down at Pete. Lying flat on his back, he almost appeared to be resting. Almost. His glasses were knocked askew and his eyes stared up blankly at her.

But she knew the truth. If she turned him over, there'd be a bleeding gash on his neck, only a few minutes away from congealing.

Only she could know the truth. Grace had to get it together. Know the steps. Execute the plan.

"Please, Lord. Spare his soul at any cost. Allow him to enter into Heaven—let him take my place—and forgive me. Amen."

[notanerdyprude]

fun things i noticed rewatching npmd act 1:

sam sweetly was investigating richies death

richie messed with his fingers absentmindedly

everyone pronounces stephs last name correctly (law-ter) except the teacher (low-ter) because teachers cant pronounce peoples names correctly

pete is almost always curled into himself while steph is almost always sat more like. outward. i dont know how to describe it.

petes plaid on his suspenders and bowtie matches stephs flannel

stephanie wears a lot of jewellery

ruth and richie hold on to pete at the end of “literal monster”’s first chorus

the literal monster choreogrophy fucking SLAPS byw

richie is such a bitch “its LIPSCHITZ 🙄🙄” “i never intended to walk through your hallway”

richie keeps his hands under his armpits most of the time

graces little “mhm. mhm.” after she says “his name is jesus christ” >>>

max and grace nodding at eachother is never not going to be funny to me

kyle is max’s biggest hype-man. homosexual activity if you ask me.

ruth and the nerd in purple enter the stage hiding behind the bleachers during max’s verse

“next time youre going to cheat do it like a lauter and dont get caught” so solomon most likely got to his position illegally

“somebody WALKS to the office with STEPHANIE LAUTER 🙄” richie is a Bitch

ruth cares very deeply about library rules

she immediately stops caring about them as soon as stephanie lauter calls him

ruth rolls her eyes when richie starts his “aot > star wars shit”, so shes clearly heard this a shit ton before

petes jumper also matches stephanies foannel

pete is in the shadows for a good part of cooler than i think i am because he keeps walking through them

as soon as the bridge is done he goes from being in the light to beingbik the shadows again

peter can also be a bitch

max doesnt come from money

max started being a prick in 4th grade

jason seems to be an actually good dude.

max has a major god complex obviously but like. it is bad. it is BAD.

mark, despite being married to her, calls graces mom ‘mother’

graces mom also wears butterfly clips

richies side eye the second steph walks over im DECEASED.

richie looks so horrified by steph touching him

cooler than him tune plays when they walk into the boys bathroom

richie side-eyes people a lot

“steph-an-ie”

pete’s “grace 🙄” i love him hes so bitchy

hatchet town tune plays in the bg a lot

richie naruto runs into the waylon place

richie is VERY excited by the plan “WE’LL MAKE HIM SHIT HIS PANTS 😁”

petes a marvel nerd. he does both the hulk and spidermans gestures

richie is ruths wingman confirmed

richie fiddles with the little tassles on petes jacket

max is very good at puns

will is scarily good at sounding like blood is coming out of his mouth

pete has a very short temper

grace actively cheers for ruth after she cuts off max’s nips

stacy calls richie “mr. lipschitz”. for some reason.

THE HARMONIES IN GO GO NIGHTHAWKS ARE SO GOOD

richie calls jason jace :(( /pos

“theyre my bros for life” they said ONE nice thing to you get some standards i BEG

richies face immeidately dropping as soon as max says “richieee”

richies wearing 4 layers on top and a pair of shorts. transgender.

max’s blood is sparkly.

max shakes his hand after touching richie

max thinks people in the smoke club are cool

max locks the door on richie

he does the choreo from thriller by michael jackson

richies squeal after max makes him fall

max is heavy projecting onto richie

max seems genuinely pissed when richie says ‘im not a loser.’ he only chills when richie says ‘please don’t kill me’.

he taunts richie by calling him his actual name. he never called richie his real name, only shit-lips. false sense of security type shit.

[gamesception]

Sception Reads Cass Cain #41

Batgirl (2000) #20 - November 2001 writer: Chuck Dixon...............pencils: Damion Scott inks: Robert Campanella......colors: Jason Wright

That month long hiatus turned into two months & change. Whoops. And I'm not really back on a regular schedule yet either, am super busy with real life stuff through the end of June at least, so this project won't be back onto a reliable weekly schedule till then at the earliest. But it's been too long since I posted one of these. so here we go.

We've got a pretty interesting issue from a couple angles here, in that it's sort of an echo of Cass's early appearances with Tim, where Cass first appeared together with him in his book, an appearances that imo didn't work very well or build an interesting dynamic or present Cass in a good light, but then Tim appears in Cass's book and is handled much better than she was in his, and they do take the time to start building a dynamic while acknowledging that the previous teamups were more strained than they needed to be.

Well we sort of have that again here, where Cass's first interaction with Steph over in Robin 88 was brief and gruff and had Cass acting kind of uncharacteristically rude and dismissive, but then Steph appears here in Cass's book and the interaction is a bit more substantial, with more of an effective dynamic built up, and with Steph handled imo better here than Cass was there. One ~could~ start to frame a pattern of Cass's creative team treating guests from other gotham books better than those teams treat Cass, an impression I admit to having back in the day.

However, that framing isn't (and wasn't) well founded, especially in this case. Mostly because, while this is Cass's book, Chuck Dixon, Robin's usual writer, is guest writing this issue. There's also far less of a disconnect between the depiction of Cass and her interactions with Stephanie going from Robin 88 to Batgirl 20 than there was for Cass and Tim going from Robin 73 to Batgirl 18. Which I suppose isn't too surprising given that Dixon wrote both Robin 88 and Batgirl 20, but it's also worth pointing out that there was far less time separating those issues than the other two. Cass was still brand new when Robin 73 released, and those writers not directly responsible for inventing her can maybe be forgiven for not quite understanding her back then.

I do think Dixon does a much better job with Cass here than he has when writing her previously, and while Scott's art certainly factors into it, it's not just that. Like, seriously, I've complained about Dixon in the past, but this is a good fun book worth reading if you haven't yet before I go spoiling it. It's also a proper Cass story - 'street level' story with no super powers or costumed villains, somewhat downbeat tone - despite Steph livening things up a good bit. Emotional/interpersonal focus, with themes of family connection, obligation, and strife - which keeps Cass's core motivations and relationships in mind even though they aren't brought up explicitly in this issue.

Honestly, I remember liking this one even way back when it first came out, and at the time I hadn't even noticed that there was a guest writer at all - though looking back there are a few tell tale signs.

Cass's attitude towards Steph still feels kind of uncharacteristically rude & aggressive, very much in line with her portrayal in Robin 88. While you can kind of feel them building a bit of a rapport over the course of the issue, you don't get the feeling of a fundamental shift the way we did with Tim's comments towards the end of Batgirl 18.

Then again, Tim is a self reflective and verbally expressive character, and Cass isn't, so a similar "I realize I've treated you unfairly in the past and I'll try to be better in the future" would have been even more out of character for Cass. Especially at this point in Cass's development where she's still more or less at a low point - living on her own, not really having any life or connections outside of Batgirl, 100% believing that Shiva's going to kill her in a few months. Which I guess is a fair enough in-character explanation for her attitude towards Stephanie, so there we go

That's a lot of rambling without even getting into the actual issue? I kind of don't feel up to the whole panel by panel playback, but it is a solid issue and worth going back to look at for fans of Cass and Steph - particularly as a pair - through the years. This isn't their first meeting, but it is their first adventure together, their first real interaction, and the start of an interpersonal connection that would come to be particularly important for both characters, a connection for Cass outside of her foundational dynamics with Bruce, Babs, and her father. Something they tried to do with Conner though it didn't quite take.

The set up plays naturally. Cass accidentally interrupts a money exchange situation for a kidnapping, ends up with a ransom note and a bunch of goons too dead and/or unconscious to interrogate over the kidnappee's location. Cass can't read the note, and she doesn't want to ask Bruce because she doesn't want to disappoint him by not being able to take care of the situation on her own, and she doesn't want to ask Babs because she doesn't want to disappoint her by demonstrating how little progress she's made on learning her letters. So she turns to Steph, someone she isn't worried about disappointing because, to put it bluntly, she doesn't respect Stephanie and so doesn't care about her opinion.

so a few things to point out from these panels alone - once again we see the most immediately identifiable difference between Puckett writing Cass and anybody else writing her - that reliance on narration blocks to convey Cass's interior thought process instead of letting the art do that work. Not that narration blocks are inherently bad, or used poorly here. They're kept short and sparing, they authentically feel like Cass's voice, and they don't clutter the panel art. As we've discussed several times, working with another artist they might even be necessary, especially with Cass's full face mask. Though with how Scott draws Cass I think they could have been pared back even further.

Speaking of Scott's art, I love these panels. The close up panels on isolated bits of text conveying how meaningless and arbitrary the markings feel to Cass. Her 'ugh' facial expression as she realizes all she's got to go on is this written note that she can't read, meaning she's going to have to ask for help. That panel with Cass and Steph sitting on the bed, lit by the window behind them is also amazing. I'm sure a lot of the credit there goes to Campanella's inks and Wrights colors as well, so yeah, once again the whole team for Cass's initial run really was great.

It's not just Cass, either. Stephanie's expressions are also fantastic here - in the bits where her face is visible. In costume, Scott doesn't do the drawn-through / shrinkwrapped face thing like with Cass, you can't see steph's expressions in the costume as that would mess with the look of her mask & hood, though I think Scott could maybe have pushed the expressiveness of her costumes eye shapes a bit more, spiderman style.

Some other just random bits I like in this issue:

Take out the speech bubbles and the target retinue and I'd love to have a poster of this panel of these two just sitting on a street light.

Though I'm not sure what the point of the target is here? I don't think anybody has a gun pulled on them?

Fighting as a team. Real dynamic duo stuff.

Oh, yeah, turns out the kidnapping was faked, with one guy pretending to kidnap himself to get money his brother had refused to just give him for his latest scheme. A fun little twist.

And we end on this nice bit which potentially sets up more of an ongoing relationship between Cassandra and Stephanie. And she does appear again periodically, more so than Conner did, including in the very next issue.

Adly, though, she didn't really become a regular supporting Character on par with Bruce or even Barbara. Which is too bad. As I said with Conner, the addition of a voice in Cassandra's life outside of Bruce & Babs, more of an emotional peer rather than mentor/parent/older sibling type, someone who could provide a more effective counterpoint to Bruce's emotional influence, would have done Cass good as a character, and might also have provided some appreciated levity to Cass's book, which, yeah, the sombre tone is intentional, but sometimes it can be a bit excessively downbeat.

And while Conner could have done that, Stephanie is a much more natural choice for it - fitting into Cass's street-level focus, plus all the natural character parallels with them both having villainous fathers - an obvious connection that somehow doesn't come up here.

Then again, the regular presence of someone as chatty as Conner or Steph might have been overbearing - overshadowing the less verbal Cass in her own book and working against that foundational principle of letting the art carry more of the burden of conveying the narrative and characterization. So maybe its better that Steph was used as sparingly as she was.

Still, there's a reason why a duo book pairing Cass and Steph was #1 on my comic book wish list for the longest time - pretty much right up until the new 52 reboot that removed the version of those characters that I was invested with from continuity. And the strength of the pairing can already be seen here in their first real outing.

[carpenoctemnyx]

Every single little moment in NPMD in order that just scratches my brain in the best way. I mean tbh the whole show does, but these moments are what the tism is grasping onto.

(WARNING: Its a LOT of moments, so theyre all under the cut since the post is so fuckin long)

"And I can survive it for only so long"(all of them)

The "im so fucking dead" from the ensemble during steph and pete's convo

"'CHEATER!!' 'OH GOD BUTT OUT CHASITY!!'"

"My melody! My melody! My melody"

"AWOOO! AWOOO! RAWR!"

"Grace just be cool! NEVER!"

"Im so fucking dead! YEAH!!"

"No! I wanna be invisible! Then why do you come to a public school dressed in suspenders and a fuckin bow tie?"

"Sycamore? I'd rather starve to death."

"Oh my god!! YOU'RE Micro-Peter! Oh, god."

"This outfit it the tapestry of my trauma!"

"Anyone every do this? *snap* Every damn day. My titties are tenderized!"

"It's polish."

"Spankoffski! Who are you running from? Ehh."

"He's straight ahead!"

"You wont defeat his kind. Never look in the eye. He's a literal monster!"

"Everyone knows how he BANGS!"

"He roars, and we cry, hes the reason with no why. He's a literal monster! A damn literal monster!"

"It's 3rd period, Shit-lips. I gotta get to remedial algebra."

"I never intended to walk through your hallway. Ohhh well theres a difference between intent and impact."

"FUCKNUGGET!!"

"Haha YEAH! NO dumbass!"

"Ohhh sorry! Fresh out of your favorite food! I guess im just gonna have to flick it!"

"Ohhhh a two bagger? Hahahaha! Whats a two bagger?"

"Oh!! That's so sick bro! Thats so fuckin funny! PYAHHH *punch sound*"

"Get him up!! Get this fucker up!!"

"Now deposit this trash in the nearest receptacle."

"Haha haha hahaha! Spunk! You're funny."

"*appalled* carry my books!?"

"Chasity, come on! You're breakin my balls."

"You dont know me very well, do you??"

"Watch some p0rn! You'll see! Tell me im wrong dirty girl. Dont call me that!"

"My little dirty girl *that one audience member OHHH*"

"And his name is Jesus Christ!"

"Forbidden fruit, dick hole!"

"You can leave, but you wont, stay in your seat!"

max's lil dance when hes singing "better leave your hopes behind no ones gonna stop me" that leads into that lil airplane arms move

also including the dance move with kyle "you wont defeat his kind, never look in the eye"

"You can watch as i rise! I will claim what is mine!"

"Learn to multi-task!"

"Well, well. If its not my october surprise."

"Stephanie, please, I'd like to have an intelligent conversation with you. In other words, shut up."

"Hooow ominous"

"Hey that looks like my... phone. It is."

"Please daddy?"

"NOO!! *dives forward and shoves hand in the way* Did you just put your hand BETWEEN the hammer and the phone??? ...yeah..."

How... am i supposed to study withOUT LISTENING TO SPOTIFY!?!? DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING?? YOU'RE KILLING ME WITH WHAT YOU'RE DOING!!! If only, Stephanie. If only."

"This project's on thermo-dynamics. What the fuck are you talking about?"

"God! I just want someone to touch me! Anyone, PLEASE! Jesus! Calm down Ruth."

"Somebody walks to the office with Stephanie LauTer and suddenly he's Stefan Urquelle."

The way Richie Says peTe and uuusing you

"What was it like when she touched your arm? DID YOU CUM??? Ruth! Quit it!"

The way Richie says peTeR

"I'll never hold the real Rei and Asuka in my arms"

The way Pete says "Sorry!" To Ruth when his phone is ringing

The way Richie says TelemArkeTer

"NANI!?!?" *Ruth and Richie creeping towards Pete*

"What is she saying? What the FUCK is she saying!?"

"Oh my god!! Oh my god!! What's the matter with you guys!?"

"WEEOO WEEOO!!"

"I'm actually the smart one in the group, if you can believe that."

"Really Ruth? A star wars analogy? Need i go into why Attack On Titan is superior in EVERY possible way!?"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!! Excuse me? Uh, not you. Just these two FUCKING nerds that wont leave me alone."

"They dont call it a cram session for nothing! Watch some p0rn! You'll see!"

"You're telling me I gotta be funny, AGAIN? I didnt do it on purpose the FIRST time!"

The way Richie says opportunity. It sounds like opportudidy

"Thats your perspective"

"Oh whoa whoa oh"

Then again im deranged"

"What if people see me as someone other than who I am"

"If i can finally be cool i will know that im not a loser!"

"I'm the ruler!"

"OHHHH! *crowd cheers* SHUT UP!"

"EUGH!! So you're a POOR piece of shit then?"

"Well im sick of your sh-sh-shit"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP JASON!!"

"I dont give a fuck what she said! I did not consent to this rendez-voos!"

"I decide if Kyle can date Brenda. *turns to Jason* The answer's still no... by the way!"

"I willed it into existence"

"Im your God. Now on your knees, bitch. It's time to say your fuckin prayers! *cuts to the Chasitys* Amen!"

"Mmm, that house. What's wrong with it? Its haunted. Everyone says so."

"DAD GROSS!!"

"Mom will you pass the butt stuff? The butter. Butter. Will you pass the butter? Eheh I just want some head and butter. BREAD! BREAD! Bread and butt sex to go with this big shaft of meat im gonna choke down. Ohhhh boy. Oh criminy!"

"And theyre flyin reaaal low today"

"Some big, dumb, sexy, sweaty, hooot, football star"

The way Grace says "Hello??" When fantasy Max is calling her name

"Im hungry, and here you are brewing up a big ol' pot of dirty girl soup *siffs aggressively* ahhhh! My favorite!"

"You call my bath water dirty girl soup? This is wrong! This is sooo wrong"

"I know!" *max rips off his jacket and the crowd screams*

"I love... to FUCK!"

The entirety of Dirty Girl Soup song but extra extra emphasis on certain parts

"Hey boo, daddy needs a little of that dirty soup"

"You're lookin all filthy like, you know its wrong i know its right"

"I'll never ever tell ya to behave i am expecting you to be-betray me"

"Ima love you all night long" including Max's lil hip thing

"Oh! Dirty dirty girl wont you sing for me wont you love me like you dont care. (all of these esp the ones with Grace)

"Hey brute"

"Its clear you never stepped in a classroom" including Grace's lil dance move here

The way Grace says School

"For shame. I am expecting you to be-behave" including Grace's lil dance move here too

"On your knees pray along, if you wanna last until dawn"

And then the dirty dirty girl section including the dance

"RAH-AHH" *hand wave thing* and the second one of this too

"Got me hungry for more. Hungry for more."

"Im a im a im a good girl x4 WHO ON OCCASSION GETS DIRTY!!"

Again cue the dirty dirty girl bit + dance

Grace's lil shaky moan thing after "poisons the air"

"Damn these wandering hands! Damn these sinful loins!"

"This is a no-moan household!"

".....I'll get the plunger...."

"Girl! That must be so embarrassing for you."

"Standing up the mayor's daughter like he's got no fucks to give? Not gonna lie. Thats really sexy."

"Oh my god! The fucking bowtie kid??"

"Hey uh... dweeb! *both Richie and Ruth respond* yeah?"

"Oh shes touching meee! Luckyyyy!"

"Its better than i even imagined" *cute lil twirl*

"And what, pray tell, may that be, Stephanie?"

"God, you suck, Grace."

"Isn't this like breaking and entering? Im not breaking anything. My dad's the realtor!" *jingles keys*

"Hacked em to bloody bits!"

"PottyPants? How about PissyPants? Im not comfortable with the plan if it involves that kind of language."

"Im not comfortable with this place. Its not structurally sound."

"Don't bully me!"

The whole Bully the Bully song but extra extra emphasis on specific parts

Grace's lil snap and spin moment

"Petey gonna jump on out" *Pete's lil move here*

Ruth saying "we're gonna cut off his nips!" And then Richie's lil shimmy move

"Ahhhhahhhh"

"Richie the whole point is that its in the dark! Well then im gonna have to shoot the whole thing in a wide, and its gonna look like shit!"

"No! We're gonna be cool beans. We're gonna keep the beans cool. We're gonna gonna keep the beans, beans the cool, keep the beans, the cool, keep the beans, bean school. Beans school? Excellent!"

"I still wanna talk.... Hello...? Hello....? Hello? Who was that? My boyfriend! Sounded like a telemarketer. Okay, my EX boyfriend."

"You're the best friend ive ever had. Oh thats sad. I think im in love with you. Okay..." *walks away*

"Am i reading as ghost, or Lin Manuel Miranda?"

"You kinda look like that homeless guy from downtown. Ohhh. But that could still work, he gets pretty scary sometimes."

Ruth's lil butt wiggle

"I mean you could just hit it and quit it, bro! Yeah... I dont want to though... You're fuckin useless pete!"

When Max walks up and burps and says "i gott piss" and this does a cute lil bouncy move

"Oh shiiiit. Wheres that creepy music comin from?"

"do it alfuckinready"

"Who's there? Maaaaax Jagermannn. WHAT!?"

"Oh shit! Oh fuck! Its a fuckin ghost!"

"Its time to stop running!" *chugs bear and smashes the can on his head and yeets it, then puts up his fists* "float over here ghost,* starts punching the air* im gonna kick your fucking ass!"

"Uhhh you cant fight me im an etheral being soooo... we'll see about that. Ima make you say boo-hoo, bitch! *charges at pete and pete runs away screaming* YESSSS I MAKE THE DEAD RUN IN FEAR!!! I AM JAGERMAAAAAN!!! I AM GOOOOD!!!! GOOO NIGHTHAWKS!!!"

*skele-ruth runs ins and does her lil scream thingy* "oh shit! Oh fuck! I didnt think there'd be a skele'en here! Im so fucking scared of skele'ens! Maybe i should just run! Where, Max?? Back home so Dad can call you a little cuck?? Can't even fight off one lousy skele'en?? No! I got not choice! Hey, Skele'en! I got a bone to pick with you, bitch!"

"It's working for me! He's sooo violent!"

Ruth's lil yelp after steph tells max to stop

"Steph we cant have a party here! This place is hella haunted!"

"It's all a prank. A trick to scare the shit out of you cuz you deserve it. What??? You're telling me you nerds put this whole thing together just for me? Wow. I though you guys hated me. But thanks. This was really great. You're not pissed? Oh! Are you kidding?? Nonono this is like THE nicest thing anyone's ever done for me."

"Ohhhh! And the skele'en. Oh. That was really special" *Max bows to Ruth*

"Look what you fuckin nerds made me do! I pissed my fucking pants! ....mission accomplished???" *Pete signaling to cut it out and Ruth and Grace behind him like wtf Richie*

"This wasnt murder! And it wasnt an accident! It was an act of God!"

"Oh yeah! Like thats gonna hold up in court! He was smote!"

Grace's snap and spin again and Richie groaning "oh nooo shes snapping again!!"

"We're gonna hack all his limbs off! Did you say hack all his limbs off?? Yeah! We're gonna hack all his limbs off!"

"You want me to films this!?!?!?!"

"Aaahhhahhhh"

"Thank god Max is gone. Wasnt he your friends?? YEAAAAHHHH but he forbade me from dating, AND he wrecked my dad's Ski-Doo. FUCK that guy."

"Good news! You passed the test?? With flying colors! Oh-ho! Aaaaaa C+"

"Ya know, this is really your C+. Oh... Steph... you can keep it. It'd really bring down my GPA."

"No, Jagerman doesnt let nerds go to footba-... huh... you know maybe i will."

"Go, go Nighthawks! We'll take the fight unto the victors go the spoils! Go, go Nighthawks! We're taking flight we are the leaders and the royals! AHH-AHH!" Including the lil bird wing flappy thing

"N! I-G! H-T! AHH-AHH! KS!"

And the dudes in the background goin "Night! Hawks! Night! Hawks! Fly!"

"Fuuuck you Clivesdale go get fucked! You're fuckin losers, and we'll kill you! Kill your ass!"

They're my bros for life!"

Richie struggling to take off the mascot costume

"Ohhh. I remember what /I/ said. Do you? You FUCKIN NERD?"

"That aint good news for you, ya bitch"

"You shouldve joined the smoke club, you nerdy prude! NERDY PRUDES MUST DIE! *cue Jon bein fuckin goated at imitating a levitation* Nerdy prudes must diiiie!"

"I want you to repeat after me. Okay... Who will pray for me? Who will pray for me? When im gone? When im gone? Until another Richie, comes along. Can you repeat that one? WHO WILL PRAY FOR MEEE WHEN IM GONNNE OR IS THIIIIS THE ETERNAL DARK WITHOUT A DAWN! Who will pray for you? Who will pray for me? When your body's gone? When my body's gone? This is the consequence for what you've done! I'M NOT A LOSER! WHAT DID YOU SAY!?! ᵈᵒⁿᵗ ᵏᶦˡˡ ᵐᵉ. Im not a nerdy prude. Im not a loser! Of course nooot, Richiiie."

“He wasn’t sexy at all… MAMA IM CURED!!!”

“Shoot n shinola!”

“Mornin Daaaaadddy!”

“You don’t say? You don’t say! Welllll I’ll be down there in a jiffy! What did they find dad? They didn’t say!”

“Gosh! I hope it’s not termites! Haha”

“Ohhhh heck. I’m so heckin fudged!”

When the gang is getting called to the principals office and Pete just says “oh no” in like a monotone-y way

“Dont look at me! Get your hands out of your pockets! ….sorry sir….”

The reluctant “go nighthawks”

“Shut the fuck up Ruth!”

“We lost to CLIVESDALE!! FUCKIN *kicks chair* CLIVESDALE!!!”

“Yeahhh… thanks for NOTHIN!!!”

“Yes Ruth! We are fucked!”

“People tell me to die everyday!”

“Someone spilled the beans! All our cool beans!”

Again Ruth’s “Don’t bully me!!”

Pete’s lil “no” when Grace accuses him

“I’m gonna get those pigs off our backs!”

“Shock! Despair! Tragedy!"

“I’ve never known darker times, and I covered the protest live at the Hatchetfield Kennel! I am Dan Reynolds! With action news, week days at 10pm.”

And down down down down, who’s swinging the hatchet now in hatchet town! Someone’s got their hands on the hatchet handle. Swingin on the youth it’s a hatchet scandal. Careful or your folks will end up a cannibals plate. It ain’t great! You’re better on the run than you are hiding, suddenly this quiet town’s exciting.”

“I heard that their brains were soup, their intestines cut in two. So it’s gotta be Donna! What??? Yeah it’s gotta be Donna! DAAAAN!?!?!”

“I certainly don’t LOVE killing”

“Barry’s on the loose and he’s got a gun, and he’s got a motive to kill. IM IN A HURRY!!!”

“Get your hands off me!!!”

“Careful or your kids will end up on Charlie’s plate. Excuse me?? He just ate! How dare you!”

“Singing all these songs gives him greater windows to kill, but we’re singing still!!”

And now THIS PART. The ENTIRETY OF BRYCE CHARLES’ SOLO. It’s fucking transcendent!!!

“Until GERALD! went on his murder spreeeee! I KNEW IT WAS GERALD!! Linda, call my lawyer. Let’s kill him!!”

“Can I shit or will I drown??”

“Ohhhh barbecue monologues, eh? I saw that in New York. Really? How was it? Fuckin ✨transcendent✨”

Joey's whole monologue thing here but extra emphasis on “Every Kah-bob”

“I wanna remember who I am….”

Trevor’s “My barbecue!”

*ruth throws hands up* “I guess!”

“Betcha I could do it! Betcha I could!”

“in my dream, it’s MY barbecue!” *ruth’s little arm wave thing*

“How can something be medium AND well?”

“All of the trappings of the well to-do!”

“And life is fine, if only it were mine.”

“Judge me!”

“And the world’s a stage, when you’re middle of age.”

“It’s well done on the outside, not within! OOOH!”

“Oh ohhh just for once! Just for once! Just for oooooonce!”

Ruth’s cute lil tap dance move

“I used to dance. I used to dance”

“Oh nooo my anxiety *gags* I’m gonna hurl!”

“I believe your next line is AAAAHHHH”

“Project Ruth! They can’t hear you in the back row! Ow, my butt! You’re splitting me in two!”

Max slowly putting the “underwear” over Ruth’s head and then petting her

“Take a bow, bitch!”

The theater director’s dramatic screaming

“No nonono! You can’t do this to me okay?? This isn’t my fault! This isn’t my plan! Woah woah woah who’s place was it Grace? IT WAS GODS PLAN!! And now he’s leaving me out to dry! DO SOMETHING YOU SON OF A BITCH!!”

“Don’t! FOLLOW ME!”

“And he gives me his numberrrr! Very smooth!”

“EXCUSE ME! *audience screaming* I have been waiting for what feels like five fucking years and I STILL have not received my goddamn hot chocolate! Sorryy sir *deadpans fake spitting* here you go. …thank you….”

“MY dad sells women’s shoes!”

“Don’t spin this back on meee”

“Because you’re crazy about me. …..WHAT!?”

“On the first date, Steph? Have some respect for yourself!”

“If I loved you, you would know it. If I loved you, I would show it. If I love you like you should be loved. If I loved you like I’m capable of. If you were the one I’m thinking of, woah ohhh, oh babe I’d let you know”

“Wake me up when you turn eighteeeeen”

“LEAVE ROOM FOR JESUS!” *shove*

“Did they buy it? Ha!”

“Gimme a cup of hot water, and make it strong!”

“Does your phone plan cover calls to hell?”

“She’s bisexual and dead! Where else would she be??”

*whips out gun* “JUST COOL YOUR BEANS, STEPH! Just cool em right the heck down!”

“Shut the front door, spankoffski!”

“SIR! DOOOO NOT APPROACH ME! GET YOU HANDS OUTTA YOUR POCKETS! PUT YOUR HANDS DOWN! HE’S GOING FOR A GUN!! *runs at paul*”

Pete’s “HOLY SHIT!!” When officer bailey rushes at Paul

“STOP RESISTING! STOP RESISTING!” *cue Emma screaming*

“You ruined our lives Grace!! I knowwww *sobbing* I just haven’t been thinking clearly lately. All I wanted was to be a regular girl, with no sexual desire, until she was safely married. I never asked for this tickle in my mommy spot. I’ve done so many terrible things, like touching myself and lying to the police. …..and dismembering a body….. well… we all did that, so…. But I called god a son of a b-word. Who am I!?!? *more sobbing* ohh.. it’s alright Grace. Don’t comfort her. She’s fuckin weird.”

“Stephanie, please. I’ve been bugging your phone since you were 12.”

“I don’t give a shit who you kill, but you just HAD to go and do it in that house, didn’t you?”

“A book??”

“You mean… satan? Oh no… they’re much worse.”

“K-yuck, k-yuck, k-fuck!”

*head gets thrown on stage* *collective screams* “Damn you miss tessburger! You were worthless!”

“Nerdy Prudes must die. That’s not me! I’m an elected official!”

“I can buy you beer!”

“I hate politics! It’s for NERDS!”

“Pete get behind me! I’ve got a gun! Steph, it’s a ghost… I don’t think that’s gonna do any good…. On the ground, bitch! I’m a cop!”

“Heck! Heck no!”

“Are you a woman of faith? Catholic. I’ll take that as a no.”

“He’s right there! WHAT THE FUCK!?”

“Pete, is she okay? Can you feel a pulse? I have no idea what I’m doing.”

The entirety of the summoning scene. It’s my favoritest part of the whole show.

Extra extra emphasis on “we don’t give a shit about your phone!”

Max’s slow mo run beat boxing to stop the bullet

“So you do know the Bible”

Grace taking her hair down and shaking it out

“Grace what are you doing?? SHUT YOUR FUCKING FART HOLE SPANKOFFSKI!! I wanna hear this! As you were saying Grace….”

“Brewin a pot of dirty girl soup, just for you! What?? Uhh, It’s what you call my bath water in my sexual fantasies. *GASP* that’s nastyyy….. I like it.”

“What… the fuck… is happening right now!?!?”

“GRRRR! I’ll be right back!”

The background dialogue of Grace and Max and then Peter saying “holy cow they’re doin it! Grace is having sex with a fucking ghost!”

Grace sauntering out and smoking a cigarette and saying “wooow I needed that” and then max being baby girl and swinging his legs in the air and saying “where you goin? Don’t you wanna cuddle a little bit?”

“I paid the price, now fuck off” *Grace twirl*

“Nonooooooowwwhatever! It was fuckin worth it!”

“What the fuck you just say to me!?!?”

“Mom said it would help me make friends. Boy was she wrong.”

“Liek eye dew”

“That was… absolutely disgusting!!”

Graces evil laugh “the souls of the pervs make me strong” more evil laughter

“DIRTY DUDES MUST DIE! DIRTY DUDES MUST DIIIIEEE!!”

“RUN YOU LITTLE BITCH”

“Darkness will spare my soul”

“Run dudes. RUN”

[breadandblankets]

:pulls up a chair and plops my chin in my hand: pls talk about your aus

kai my beloved i care you so (lmao this is going long no ragrets)

okay! so lets talk calamity jason, this is just an excuse for me to 1) reread some old faves 2) read some new faves cause i want to understand the blorbos and 3) shove more headcanons than can possibly ever fit into my lil tumblin posts

so this whole thing started as an off hand comment to local of @/localizationed fame about how jason kinda reminded me of hua cheng lmao (theyre also obv very different but the comment was Enough) and i was like lmao what if jay was just Literally a vengeful ghost and then AUs

i really want to explore chinese jason here, as lady shiva being his mom is one of my favorite theories (which is basically supported by canon, plus or minus a little tweaking) also!!! jason and cass being siblings with vastly different philosophies of violence and justice as products of their respective upbringings are just so fun to think about

im also including duke a Lot in my story plans just cause 1) i like him and 2) i am giving jason a lot of sky/sun/stars symbolism and there is one other bat that has that in Spades it feels wrong to basically give jay some fusion/solar flare powers without Also including duke's meta powers (even if at this point in the story duke legit didn't exist)

this is shaping up to be a very jason cass duke story line, steph will be showing up pretty soon (as indicated by the ending of chap 5!)

i want a satisfying ending with some good dad bruce im sorry for the haters but i like it when bruce has any amount of character development, doug thomas is already holding the weight of me projecting my dad onto him, he needs the backup (actually dukes parents are really a chance for me to fulfill my quota of giving One of these mfers good parents)

this is literally the header of my working document, it sums up my feelings on the direction this is all going quite nicely

jason as a vehicle for my rage at the writers who killed off steph without so much as a by your leave? its more likely than you think

okay here are some rapid fire fun things

jay misses chinese micky d's something fearce, he doesn't know how to explain that its Much Better than US McD, luckily distance shortening arrays are a thing

he has a distance shortening knight chess piece, black water loves him a Theme

i have a crack scene written of jason calmly flipping over tables in metropolis when he wants to Really Fight

black water spritzed him with water when he was bad, but because hes black water, he just summoned a jet of water and made the spray bottle sound with his mouth

if i was going to have duke's parents jokerized i had a whole thingy where jay takes him in but because thats not going to happen, im thinking about duke's parents low key adopting jay (because who Wouldn't want more parents)

jay has a "demon mode" that he lives in when he's doubting his humanity, it would be big sexy if it wasn't so gosh darn sad

thank u kai, im sure this is more than what was anticipated but i can (and will) talk about this au for hours it has subsumed my brain

[horsechestnut]

I would love details on the Reverse Robin AU idea, I always adore those. (Though I often feel they miss an opportunity by not having Duke be first. Then again I sort of have a "Either its the first four Robins being reversed, or its all of them and thus Duke is first" system. A lot depends on what swerves the story best.) Sorry for the off topic ramble and no pressure to share, but yeah it'd be cool.

One thing I am notably curious about is how you'd handle the pre death relationship between Bruce & Stephanie. Cos so much of their canon one is filtered through his grief over Jason and projection onto her which led to his awful treatment of her, which led to her desperation to please him. Without that death things would probably be a lot more chill.

Still, I could see a similar death happening if Bruce got to up his own ass with trying to play master mind and it all blowing up in his face (Which I insist would have happened with his crime control plan regardless of Stephanie.)

No apology necessary! I love off topic rambles and am prone to doing them myself (see how long this explanation ended up for reference lol).

Here's a link to a sort of fan-fic/sort of explanation I wrote earlier (Though I think you already found it). I would love to flesh it out into a full fic, but I'm not sure that will ever actually happen.

As for Steph and Bruce specifically though, I think there's still tension between them, but it comes from a different place. Spoiler is a rouge agent, a teenager with no training, no oversight, and a personal score to settle, and Bruce isn't really prepared to handle that. Damian came to him pre-trained and if Tim comes second (which I think he should since he's both before and after Steph in canon) he was doing it because he believed it was the right thing to do. Without Jason Bruce has never had to deal with anyone who's completely untrained before, and without Dick he's never had to deal with a personal grudge as motivation (except his own, and he's really not prepared to get into that), so the combination of them in Steph seems far to dangerous to have in the field. Besides, it sets a bad precedent, he can't just let any teenager start running around fighting crime or he'll have a We Are Robin situation on his hands, and he already has a Robin. I don't think it's really personal for him, it just makes logical sense for everyone if she would stop, but for some reason she won't, even after Cluemaster is dead. (She also reminds him a little to much of himself at that age, but he's not going to think about that).

On Steph's end I think things are a little more complicated. I think the indifference would both drive her insane and give her this sort of false hope. No matter what she does it never seems to be enough, but the parts of her Bruce seems to dislike are all related to Spoiler, not Stephanie, which means she can change them! But there are parts of Steph that are baked into Spoiler, which carry over to Robin in turn that she can't get rid of no matter how hard she tries. Plus there are just enough similarities between the way Batman talks to her and the way Arthur did that sometimes it activates her fight instinct when logically she knows she should just listen to him. And unfortunately Bruce doesn't respond well to being snapped at, but he also never seems to hold it against her for more than a day. So Steph just keeps running in this circle and never knows where she stands with Bruce, and in some ways it's better and in some ways it's worse, because at least with her dad she knew where she stood and could stop trying.

I don't like that answer, trust me I wish I could say things between them would be better, but personally I don't think so. Bruce might be nicer about the way he says it, but I think he'd still want Steph to stop and Steph would still think if she tries hard enough he'll realize he was wrong.

Sorry, that got away from me, but anyway, I think the concept of including Duke is interesting! I just don't really know enough about him to know how it would play out or have thoughts on how We Are Robin could happen without Robin.