#am i overstimulated? (probably)
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Based on somewhat real events
I spent way too much time drawing this...
But yeah, Ford finally saying thank you
A continuation (kinda)
#sometimes my skin smells too strongly and I hate it. I wanna crawl up and die. it's not that bad usually#only when I'm already overstimulated#there were 2 times where I was sick and I started crying and almost threw up because the smells were too strong#one time the smell of tge city. the other time it was roasted chicken. I still feel sick when I smell reheated chicken to this day#I'd love to have someone comfort me and rub my back in these moments but 1. I don't want anyone to touch me and#2. I feel like I don't deserve to be touched because it's an inconvenience to others#anyway enough about me. I am now projecting in these characters#I hate drawing their faces so much#gravity falls#stanford pines#ford pines#young stanford pines#stan pines#stanley pines#young stan pines#art#fanart#traditional art#comic#long post#watercolor#forgot to mention but I can't take a shower when the sun is still up except if I was swimming in a pool/sea. no specific reason I just can'#projecting to Ford because Stan would never feel like that :/ oh well#is this cringe? maybe. probably. do I care? no. not really#I'm self diagnosing myself with 'definitely something wrong but not further specified' because this can't be normal#btw sorry if this is disappointing. I tried my best (the first part is pretty neat imo)#wonder if anyone is gonna read all of these tags#is this the worst thing you've seen yet?#teen stan#teen ford
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Why does the orange Addison's mannequin kinda resemble you?
#most of their mannequins probably look like him tbf#good average cyber-citizen sizing (SHORTASS)#i dont have a lot to say because it explains itself + if i say anything i remove possibilities of answering an asks with something related#to said thought so im not gonna#[you've got mail!]#spamton#spamton g spamton#deltarune#deltarune spamton#deltarune chapter 2#no.1 freak#something different about this one i think. maybe its the expressions. not a bad thing but its definitely. different.#i had thoughts but im tired and i dont hop on tumblr until i finish the ask im working on so i dont get stuck scrolling & unproductive#sorry i dissapearrreeeddd i was overstimulated like halfway through the week which is earlier than usual but it makes sense because i was#out doing more unusual social activities :-P but you dont care and nor am i obligated soo....#the hands look better not pixelated idk why#give me a little to respond to stuff and check up we be eepy#this one has a lot of freakin frames for some reason
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explaining to a coworker I don't socialize out of work bc of The Anxiety. then later explaining why i have gray in my hair.... it's... still The Anxieties...... goin' gray since my early 20s........
#man its rough when people who dont have anxiety have to ask a million questions that the answer is just The Anxiety#like im sorry i dont socialize or want to have a conversation while three other people are in the room talking#its just a lot of overstimulation ok im just suffering please stop asking me things...#i get the loop of im failing a social interaction in my brain which makes it harder to win at a conversation#like every normal person would consider conversations as something you can lose or fail or win (?)#had another coworker who ive only really seen ? but he argues with the one asking me about my hobbies n social life#and so i saw him today and he was i think probably training or showing another guy around#and he was real quick to say no to helping me and im lik e???? i didnt ask for help?#and the other guy was like is that a constant thing? and he said no not me yet but he had to assert dominance#and i looked at him and told him very plainly#i am a pushover with anxiety you dont have to assert dominance at all i promise#and he actually looked kind of taken aback and guilty for snapping on me for no reason so then im like#oh great just me saying i hope to not cause problems caused a problem#anyway ........ i wanted to draw a halloween thing but i just dont have the spoons rn
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One more day my precioussssssssss
#elvis presley#70s elvis#That belt will be mine#oh yes#it will be mine#nobody alert security#that I am on my way to London#to feel up what felt Elvis#and probably not throw up on it out of sheer overstimulation
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diversity win! the guy trying to remake the universe in his own image is autistic
#really and truly every time i think about cyrus#i become increasingly convinced he literally just needs some form of therapy#’emotions are useless and vile i will eradicate them’ my man…….. do you wanna like. talk about something………#and something about a less than optimal home life#and only being 27#he should be at the club#well. no the club is overstimulating. but like he should be at the young person healthy friendship environment#pokémon#dppt#this all just makes me a little insane that his ultimate fate is just. wandering the distortion world#he shouldn’t be so isolated and helpless like that…. but also like it’s probably very calming#like i can see him finding a sort of peace there#(ignoring stuff like. human bodily needs)#until he meets volo am i right. hehehehe#(can’t talk about dppt for more than 5 minutes without bringing up pla)
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QB ADHD test is crazy for autists bc tell me why you’re gonna strap this super uncomfortable headband to my head and also have the lights bright in the room bright af and then have the laptop flash images at me too
Like????????
#sillyposting#adhd#I asked if they could turn down the lights and it was soooooo haha funny to them#how quirky haha hehe no one’s ever asked for that before!#and then they turn the light off and it’s pitch black and the laptop brightness is still way too bright#I was going to be overstimulated either way probably#but still#I tried to make it a neutral environment for the best results it just didn’t work out#how am i supposed to live laugh love in these conditions#can you blame a girl for having a very cutesy very demure meltdown at the psych’s office#but anyway I did absolute shit on the test#I feel like it’s not even fully accurate because I was crying half the time :/#I couldn’t remember anything esp not with the sensory hell#but then again I already know I would have been shit at it without the meltdown too#and the nurse tried to comfort me when I said sorry for crying#and she’s like no it’s okay we’re all special in our own way!#Ma’am I don’t need your autism speaks pep talk I need all the lights in my vicinity to be turned off#at least if they say I don’t have adhd I have even more validation for the autism#because who else has a meltdown over l i g h t s#very neurotypical reaction I’m so normal actually#I’m fine I’m at home and I’m gonna chill in my room don’t worry
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GOING CLUBBING FOR THE FIRST TIME EVER SATURDAY NIGHT DOES ANYONE HAVE TIPS
#i've been wanting to go for a long time but i am also anxious and will probably get overstimulated in five minutes#ahhhhhhh
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I spilt my juice today
#oc: bean#sona tag#this was technically a vent bc today was so overstimulating that I threw up but something about spontaneous combustion is so funny to me#so silly post instead#I did spill my juice tho and I cried about it but I'm okay now#I have also been staring at a blank canvas for about 6 hours and I just needed to draw... something#can you tell I am not having a very good time right now#but I'll be fine probably
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mortifying ordeal of getting really fucking pissed off at someone ur stuck on a holiday with
#will the group chat make it out of the holiday probably not#unfortunately i am feeling murderous (overstimulated)
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#really feeling that urge to isolate and detach#from everyone#I'm tired and overstimulated#and this has been the case for weeks and months at this point#it's getting to the point where#Even things that gave me comfort like cozy and farming Sim games#Are exhausting#and#No where near as fun and comforting#how the fuck am I supposed to do this every day#for the rest of my life#will probably delete later
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Silly Game Time: SEND DUDESNo, NOT nudes, DUDES! For legal reasons (don't ask), I have to throw the biggest kegger in history! How many people do you know who you could genuinely call "dudes"?
.....Uhm.... none. I'm not really a party girl; my girlfriend's brother, and my brother are not party dudes. We're more likely to spend an evening playing board games, using silly voices while we get into character, and drinking non alcholic sparkling grape juice. I don't have many friends who go out and party.
#Thank you for the ask#Ask me#I am a boring little housewife gamer#I would probably not even come to the kegger because it would be too loud/ and I would be too overstimulated
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Do you know about Halloween horror nights and any of the icons/lore, Evan/Habit?
Well, a little... not as much as I'd like. Haha...
I KEEP FORGETTING TO LOOK INTO IT AND EVAN IS TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY TO GO IN PERSON... I FUCKIN WANT TO...
#Evan speaks 🗡 🎞#HABIT speaks 🐇 ☠️#evan emh ask blog#evan rp blog#habit emh ask blog#habit rp blog#answered asks#ask response#( ooc > )#cw caps#grahhhhhh i want to learn more of this.#both evan and i have trouble with haunted houses.#his problem is his first response is to punch or fight and he's punched scare actors#my problem is i get overstimulated and then either fight or freeze and am either way counterintuitive to those#i LOVE horror but scare zones/rooms or haunted house like attractions just break me#I'm getting better about it though haha#worst case scenario is i punch ANOTHER scare actor#Evan would very much absorb the lore from a distance#that and also probably have a bisexual panic over someone from the 13th Halloween Horror Nights. >:3 /hj
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mr paws is BITING ME today and i can't even be mad because i get it. i too want to bite the people i love sometimes.
#it's either play biting or he's feeling overstimulated but i am always very careful about doing consent checks when petting animals#or just in general interacting w them#and he was definitely asking for more pets every time i stopped and checked#so i think he was just playing. or he's just in that weird mood where he wants more attention but also doesn't at the same time LMAO#and i also understand that too LOL autism momence... cats and autistic ppl shaking hands#anyways i'd bite Guz a lot i think HFSDJKL but he'd bite me back so its a dont dish out what u cant take situation LMAO#with Wardell he probably would be SO offended if Dandyfae bit him sdfjkl#which is very funny bc of his dog-ness. but i do think he wouldnt rly understand play-biting or affection-biting for a while fdsjkl#dandy.cmd
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the way "annoying" is winning on that poll...are we self aware or do we all have anxiety aksdjfhajdf
#like i genuinely do not find any mutuals annoying unless i'm already in a bad mood/overstimulated/tired#which is on me to deal with ofc! it's never any of y'all's fault#idk. i am always afraid of being annoying therefore i just assume i am#and i probably should do that less#hannah.txt
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"i'm not disabled" followed immediately by "i've got bad knees and a bad back" is certainly something to read 🤨 you know it doesn't have to be cripling for it to count, right...? it's not normal to be in pain after 15 minutes of standing. ableds can stand for, like, an hour at a time before they need to sit.
i know! i appreciate the concern, but i uh. dunno lol. genuinely i don't know. but i included the afaik ("i'm not disabled afaik" was the original phrase, though i'm not like mad at you for excluding it or anything) because i'm well aware that it's a possibility. it's hard to explain but there's a lot of little things that don't add up to much but are like. noticeable. like i would prefer to do most things sitting, if i could, as a matter of comfort. it would be easier for me. and walking isn't as bad as just standing. i've never been great at taking care of my body, and this has only gotten worse with time. it's hard for me to know what i should read as necessity and what i should read as preference, and how much weight to put on said preferences. like you said, i know it doesn't need to be "if i don't sit down i'm going to collapse" or anything, but where to draw that line between Definitely A Medical Thing That Affects Me More Than Other People and.. not that, i'm not sure. i kinda just thought i was a persistently slightly tired and low energy person, but it doesn't seem bad enough to be chronic fatigue, so...? is it related to the half-diagnosed. idk it's complicated depression (and yes in hindsight i probably should've counted that as disabling but whatever)? idk it's not a rabbit hole i've explored much at all is my point. but i know it's there and uh i guess this was sort of validating in a way anon so.. yeah? yeah👍
#also in reference to the pain after 15 mins of standing thing it's.. usually closer to discomfort than pain? but it's not Not pain either#it's often more like 'oh i should sit down. i wanna sit down. i should sit down' and it's not that frequent but it's like a status effect#and the frequent reminders are only after like 20-30 minutes#sometimes i don't even notice it and sometimes (if i'm bored lol) i'll notice it a Lot#this is not helped by my body being.. iffy at telling me what's going on. it's always too much or too little input with this guy#ahh that rascal. anyway#listen anon 1) uh sorry for going off like this idk if that's like. socially appropriate or whatever but i'm doing it anyway 2) if you've#got ideas i'm all ears. like off the top of your head not like. im not asking you to do research for an internet stranger ok#plus it feels weird saying i could be disabled when i have no idea what it would even be. i mean i think i'd believe someone else if they#said that but it's a classic rules for me and not for thee situation. still working on that#point is i got brain gunk for sure i just don't know how much of the body gunk is because of the brain gunk or smth else#like the possibly-probably autism definitely affects me physically i just don't know exactly what to do with that information#like. am i exhausted bc i'm overstimulated? is it the burn out? or is that a separate thing? or are they working together? etc#anyway yeah got caught vagueposting about my symptoms here's the deep dive no one wanted. for self indulgence purposes :v#no but i think about it a lot with posts like this bc i mean. would an able bodied person react THAT strongly to finding out shower stools#exist? probably not. but who knows for certain#....coming to the conclusion of. probably. maybe. but in what ways specifically? uh. i dunno. i just got them heavy limbs#might be a thyroid issue now that im looking into it. but again this is Not my area of expertise
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its really wild to me that i can be known as just a chill guy. or like soneone who can be generally nice and funny. its not because i have some secret dark interior its just because it felt so out of reach in my recent memory yk
#if i went back in time and told me from like. even 2 or 3 years ago that i would show up to work and make people laugh#or talk to my tumblr followers regularly or make small talk with the cashier when i buy tea#i know his ass would be like 🤨🤨#i was being told woahh yr so scary youd probably kill me if i did xyz. on a regular basis. (not out of nowhere i did fight a little lmao)#and thats nice for a little while its great to feel strong#but in the long term people dont want someone strong to fight for them they need someone to help them move the furniture#and whats wild is theres some freedoms that have been granted to me that id attribute the majority of this change to#like it was not me! i did not self improve i just got to high school and improvements happened#and now my baseline feeling is not that of Oh fuck im a weird freak and they hate me already unless im scary or useful#like bro. getting to wear headphones at school was genuinely life changing to me and i think is such a great case study#on why people need help if they ever want to improve#i can wear headphones at school -> i am no longer constantly in trouble for wearing headphones because theres no rule ->#im less overstimulated and calmer and happier -> im nicer to other people especially the authority figures that i#would have formerly expected to punish me for wearing my headphones#anyway. thanks guys i guess 👍
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