#am i in the right program. what am i doing after i graduate. can i write poetry again in a way that is meaningful

[clipartdinosaur]

Griddlehark Fics

I have read an absolutely insane amount of Griddlehark fanfics in the past few months so I figured I could make a like...list of all of my favorites that I bookmarked. I'm not sure if anyone will use this but if anything it will be for my own self-indulgence LOL. Just a heads up, this list WILL contain spoilers up to Nona the Ninth, so proceed with your own discretion. Anyway here we go!

(♥︎ = favorite!)

Short (<15k):

"By the Sword" by JeanLuciferGohard (2.6k)

The Reverend Daughter of the Ninth, Necrosaint, Ascended, the greatest bone adept in an Age, does one push-up, and collapses. Harrow does not beg for her cavalier. Harrow rakes her hair back and snarls, “Nav, I am going to unzip your cranial sutures. One by one. And zip them up again sideways.”

"Your Necro Questions Answered" by Magichorse (8.8k)

Syndicated columnist "Nav the Cav" offers a sympathetic ear to cavaliers across the galaxy and dispenses practical, no-nonsense, real talk advice on how to properly manage and care for your necromancer.

"A Lesson in Bones" by Magichorse (3.8k)

One of the laboratory trials at Canaan House compels Harrowhark to swap bodies with her cavalier. What will Gideon do with the power of the most talented bone adept in generations at her disposal? Nothing good, probably.

"Visions of Gideon" by tothewillofthepeople (13k)

Oh my god they were roommates...

"true love's kiss, or something equally nauseating" by corpsesoldier (4.6k)

She was where she needed to be. She was going to pull her necro out of this godforsaken tomb, end the game of musical bodies they were playing, and then everything would be all right. Harrow would be alive. And Gideon was going to give her shit for approximately the next myriad for not just taking what she’d offered and saving them a whole lot of trouble.

"The Big Warm Dark" by decalexas (haelstorm) (2.7k)

Gideon Nav knows how to swing a longsword, brandish a rapier, bridge the gap between life and death, punch the dead in the face, and maybe overthrow an Empire along the way. What she doesn't know how to do is reach for the girl who made all of this possible.

"carrion comfort, despair (not feast on thee)" by NotAFicWriter (5k)

Some time after Alecto wakes, Harrow and Gideon finally have a moment to speak to one another. Hearts are bared. Teeth are bared. Intentions are bared. It all comes at great personal cost (emotional honesty).

"never exhale all the way" by pigflight (1.2k)

Harrowhark paints Gideon's face.

"such an almighty sound" by CountingNothings (10k)♥︎

“I need you to marry me,” Harrow says, a propos of absolutely nothing that Gideon can see. And, uh, okay, this is not what childhood best frenemies say to each other upon discovering that both of their graduate programs have weird residence requirements. “What,” Gideon asks, “the fuck?”

"A Handsomely Dangerous Thing" by zoicite (1.5k)

Had Harrow ever looked at Gideon and felt pride before? Surely not. It sat like a tumor in her chest, a cancerous lump that had grown where it did not belong.

"How it didn't happen" by Nary (1.5k)

"How did you lose it?" Coronabeth asked, more softly than her sister's shrill voice. The group assembled at Canaan House barely knew her, and yet here they were, asking the most irritatingly personal questions, and acting as if they were being kind and thoughtful by prying into her secrets. "I dropped my pen into a vat of acid and reached in to grab it without thinking," Harrow said dryly. Coronabeth recoiled, screwing up her pretty nose. Ianthe looked unsure whether to believe her or not. Their meatslab of cavalier just stared blankly. "The Daughter of the Ninth House was blessed in this manner from her birth, as a symbol of her strength and power over the mysteries of necromancy," Ortus interjected. Harrow glared at him. "Oh," Coronabeth said, an expression of disgusting sympathy on her flawless face. "But then you would never have known who your soulmate was!" Harrow's glare intensified. "My soulmate is bones."

"Halcyon Nights" by Morike91 (10k)

It was hard to tell what was worse: feeling the full warmth of those unguarded honey eyes fall on Harrow, or watching them narrow in recognition and contempt, their warmth now hotter with something else.  “What can I get you?” It has been at least four years since Harrow last heard the voice of Gideon Nav, but it was still as familiar as her right hand. 

"I completely fucking hate you" by ClaraZorEl (7.5k)

In the coming weeks, Harrowhark learns an unfortunate great deal about Gideon Nav. The kind of porn she likes, the number of bread rolls she can fit into her mouth at once, that she always leans too heavily on her left leg when she fights but can do fifty-seven push-ups in a row without stopping, that her biceps rates 11/10 on the scale of good biceps, that her laugh rumbles like an army of skeletons, and most importantly, that she can’t fucking stand her. Gideon Nav is so grating that Harrow has no doubt she will be her undoing. OR Harrowhark Nonagesimus has been invited to Canaan University's ball. But to successfully represent her house, she needs a cavalier, and unfortunately, her only option is her least favourite barista from her least favourite coffee shop.

"A Thousand Teeth, Yours Among Them" by pipistrelle (7k)

"In the end, she poisoned Ortus; so it was Harrow Nova who walked out to the shuttle a half-step behind the Daughter of the Ninth, the chain of Samael Novenary wound about her offhand wrist, the black blade of the Ninth at her side."

"The Only Prayer We Know" by pipistrelle (12k) [Part 2 of "A Thousand Teeth, Yours Among Them"]

It's like a bad joke: two cavaliers (alive) and two necromancers (one dead) walk into a rebel faction of humanity, looking for a new life -- in every sense of the phrase. What they find is each other, and (in some cases) themselves.

"The Flames of Hell Are Warm" by silverapples (7k)

In which Harrow is a repressed evangelical Christian and Gideon performs burlesque in a lesbian nightclub. Feat. nipple pasties, chewing gum, and a steaming mug of gay coffee (wake up and smell it, Harrow).

"Necro Business" by rnanqo (1.6k) ♥︎

“Gideon,” you said carefully, “I will need to examine your mouth. Various structures, primarily the jaw, but also the lingual muscles—the tongue—” You stopped there. Your cheeks were going red, probably with indignity. “Yeah,” I said, a bit too loudly, “yeah, sure. Do it.”

"Holy Cross, Alaska" by softieghost (10k) ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

Harrow meets Gideon. They go through it together.

"my love will be your armor" by TheKnightsWhoSayBook (2.3k)

"The princess has a right to bestow her favor on whoever she wishes to win a match," Gideon tells her. "Are you going to?" "Why would I? I don't want to marry him," Harrow answers bitterly. "Do you want me to win?" Princess Harrow will be engaged to the winner of the tournament, and her only champion is her useless bodyguard Sir Gideon Nav, who isn't going to save her. Unless...?

"The Meaning Of The Word" by pipistrelle (8.4k)

Harrow, along with a good percentage of Canaan University's necromancy students, has the flu. Gideon has a lot of feelings that she is in no way equipped to handle. It's a tough week.

"(i shine only with the light you gave me)" by sashawire (1.7k) ♥︎

God prods, gently, “Even just starting with their physical description, and we can go from there.” “Imagine,” you say, from somewhere outside your body, “the worst shade of orange you’ve ever seen in your life.” * Harrowhark receives her saintly title.

"i will learn to love the shears" by corpsesoldier (4.7k)

The avulsion trial left Harrow's hair in a sorry state and Gideon offers up her expertise with a blade. Or, Gideon gives Harrow a haircut.

"The Titty Texts: A Work of a Stupendous Titty Nature" by EleniaTrexer (3k)

Gideon accidentally sends Harrow boobs. And then just keeps on sending them.

"can we start over?" by breeeliss (10k)

Gideon needs a tutor. Harrow needs someone to get her out of college gym class. All in all, a pretty straightforward arrangement to make with your ex.

"Dark Mode Enabled" by senseoftheday (12k)

Tech Company AU in which a certain Sales bro with no filter decides to ruin Harrow's life (and feature roadmap) by initiating the cross-functional project from hell. At least, Gideon has the decency to work remotely, and Harrow's new office crush makes some pretty great coffee.

"deconsecrated graves" by emotionsandphenomena (4k)

Gideon and Harrow got out of the cult they were raised in. Okay, what's next?

"settle up in heaven" by liesmyth (3k) ♥︎

“Isn’t this arrogance, Harrow?” Kiriona says. “Think you could fix what God couldn’t?”

"Quoth the Maiden" by Sarsaparilla (10.9k)

The bold outlaws Nova Hawk and Gideon meet for the first time on a narrow log-bridge. But is it really their first meeting? Or: what if Robin Hood and Little John were both lesbians?

"twice in a blue moon" by sinshine (8.7k) ♥︎

Gideon snapped out of her depressing reverie and blinked at her. "That's a really good idea." "Obviously," said Harrow, and it was only a little bit condescending. "Step one, sneak out of the party. Step two, acquire the necessary items at a store. Step three–" Harrow gestured vaguely at the deer in Gideon's hands– "And step four, profit." [G&H rush to fix a smashed snow globe that Dulcinea made so that Cam doesn't kill them before the clock strikes midnight at their NYE party. The fact that Gideon is back in her hometown after a long time away and she and Harrow have unresolved romantic tension is secondary and definitely won't be a problem.]

"It Came From Planet Slut" by LockedTombMemes (8k)

Well. Evidently going undercover to an Idan society fling in order to deliver a message to a high-profile BoE agent was a tits-out kind of look.

"Apostate's Yuletide" by sinshine (12.6k)♥︎

Gideon raised one eyebrow comically high. She smiled easily, erasing any hint of the anxiety that Harrow might have sensed. "What's with all the questions today?" Harrow huffed indignantly and fidgeted with the blanket draped across her lap, worrying the frayed hem with her fingers. "I thought your ego would appreciate the interest." "Yeah, but it's weird coming from you. I'm used to you monologuing, not playing twenty questions." "Perhaps it's a Christmas miracle," suggested Harrow, with an expression so absolutely devoid of joy that Gideon couldn't help but laugh. [Harrow and Gideon burn down a church on Xmas.]

"when it's over" by Adertily (2.5k)

Harrowhark had sworn to herself to live to see the girl in the locked tomb awaken. Alecto has risen. Now God is dead, along with everyone who had ever been dear to her - and Gideon has returned as a distorted creature. The war is over. Harrow wishes she could be too. Or: A character study based on Harrow's suicidal ideation and Gideon's determination to never run anywhere unless she absolutely has to.

"Supernova Bloom!" by sinshine (13k)

"It's just for a week, and then you never have to see me again," said Gideon. "I don't have time to find anyone else." And, "Please." Slowly, Harrow took her hand off the door and cautiously turned around. Gideon watched a dozen unspoken questions flicker across her face. She voiced none of them, but eventually settled on an expression of grim resignation. "I suppose I could suffer you for a week." [Gideon needs help getting her new flower shop ready for the grand opening. Harrow needs cash.]

"I still need your teeth around my organs" by sinshine (7.8k)

Although she was a beloved Daughter and a talented necromancer, Gideon's greatest vice was that she dearly loved to fuck around and find out. Knowing this, perhaps it shouldn't have been as shocking when she lifted one of Nova's hands, flipped it over, and kissed her palm. [4 times Gideon kisses Harrow, 1 time Harrow kisses Gideon]

"cuckoo, cuckoo" by sashawire (1.2k)

What Wake gives it is not a name. To do so would be a moronic, unnecessary cruelty. But she does deign to give it the microscopic dignity of a title, a goal, a purpose. Bomb. Eighteen years later, in the rubble of a once-sacred home, Harrowhark Nonagesimus reaches up and touches Gideon Nav’s grit-covered, blood-rimed face, splits a laugh like the world is ending, and calls her “flower.” * Six times God's unwanted daughter was nicknamed, and once she wasn't.

"my teeth will only cut your lips, my dear" by sashawire (<1k) ♥︎

Gideon chomps into her tongue as hard as she can convince herself, stifling a very dignified squawk. Her eyes water, Emperor’s left tit that fucking hurts, but—it works. Blood weeps from the bite marks, creeping down the back of her throat, up into her nasal cavity, staining her teeth. Okay. She has blood in her mouth. Blood that, somehow, needs to get into Harrow’s mouth. * Step #6: Consume the flesh.

"fifteen percent concentrated power of will" by surreptitiously (9k)

Teaching someone to do a push-up is a love language, when that person is very annoying.

"GHAZAL WHERE I'M BEGGING YOU TO TOUCH ME" by igneousbitch (12k)

You had your body and I had mine, and it was a miracle. Your hands against my face were a miracle. The rest of your meat attached to your hands was a prayer answered and a promise broken, but we were flush and gasping and alive, and Harrow—I really thought you might’ve kissed me then. But I felt it happen. The way your breath suddenly stilled, and your body locked up beneath mine, remembering. How with splintering gentleness, you pushed me away. “I’m so sorry,” was the second thing you said upon waking. The first thing had been my name. Stranded in a safehouse on an Edenite moon, Gideon and Harrow try to put themselves back together.

"catch you on the flip side, sugar lips" by corpsesoldier (4.9k)

Maybe if Harrow's brain runs enough scenarios, she'll find a way to keep what she's lost.

"hand to heart, I swear" by corpsesoldier (5k)

Gideon has a broken heart, and there's only one necromancer who can fix it.

Medium (15-30k)

"If you're doing it right you'll break their ribs" by almostnectarine (22.4k)

"How do you know Nonagesimus has gone somewhere dangerous?" asked Isaac. "Have you wired some kind of alert system?" "It's, uh. It's on the schedule," said Gideon. "I just... forgot. Because of the bread." Nobody was convinced by this, least of all Gideon. "It's a Ninth House thing," Gideon went on, backing away with increasing desperation. This was a slightly more plausible explanation, if only because nobody wanted to look too closely at what fell under the awful skeletal-ribbed and rotting umbrella of Ninth House things. "Gotta go—!" And she was out the door, gone. But it wasn't a Ninth House thing, except inasmuch as it was happening to the only two representatives of the noble and decrepit Ninth House on this quite literally godforsaken rock. Gideon knew Harrow had gone somewhere dangerous—knew that Harrow was back in the lab where they had only just completed a horrible trial—because she could see it, clear as day: an awful overlay on her vision of that terrible dangerous room and a pair of terrible dangerous hands drawing some kind of ward next to the plinth. The hands were definitely Harrow's. This was definitely a problem.

"If Home Is Where the Heart Is (Then We're All Just Fucked)" by JeanLuciferGohard (17k) ♥︎

When Gideon Nav gets a call that her ex-girlfriend, who never bothered to change her designated emergency contact, is in the hospital, she goes against her better judgement and responds. Everything after that just gets more complicated.

"blue gray green lavender" by smolranger (29k) ♥︎

Laser Radial sailor Gideon Nav just wants pass her classes, win a few regattas, and keep her head down. FJ sailor Harrowhark Nonagesimus has grand plans to qualify for the Olympics, preserve her parent's legacy, and save her home town. Despite the ties binding them together, the two have kept their college lives carefully separate for two years. But when Harrow's helm, Ortus, suffers a concussion mid-way through the fall season, their carefully separated lives collide. Harrow needs someone capable of taking Ortus' place for the remainder of the season or her Olympic dreams — and Canaan College's entire sail team — are in peril. And Gideon is her only option.

"Daughters of Hungry Ghosts" by zoicite (24k)

Harrow and Gideon and times they have (and also have not) shared a bed over the years.

"Disney World, Florida" by softieghost (24.6k) [Part 2 of "Holy Cross, Alaska"]

After the events of Alaska, Harrow thanks Gideon the only way she knows how: devotion. -- Chapter 3: The journey concludes. More confessions.

"we've got a good thing goin' " by sinshine (14.6k) ♥︎

“Not to sound ungrateful, but being here makes me wish that you had left me for dead,” said Harrow. Gideon had been staring hard at the face of the fountain’s statue. She was pretty sure that it was carved in the likeness of Naberius himself, but she didn’t want to say it out loud and make it true. She shook her head and turned to Harrow. “Leaving me to live out eternity in your bony sock puppet of a body? Hard pass.” Palamedes and Camilla shared a look. It was the mutual understanding of two people who had been trapped in close quarters with the bickering of Gideon Nav and Harrowhark Nonagesimus for far too long. [Team 69 hide out in Babs's vacation home. Because it's not like he's using it anyway.]

"Cake by the Ocean" by zoicite (15k)♥︎

Okay, so the thing was, Gideon had always been shit at plans. She knew that. Everyone knew that, but this--she really didn’t think it would be this hard! Gideon’s voice was like the least memorable thing about her. Bargaining her voice for a well-shaped set of human legs--that really should have worked in her favor.

"careful fear and (un)dead devotion" by sinshine (23k)

[Gideon and Harrow wake up back in their own bodies but both of them are missing large parts of their memory. Camilla tries not to kill everyone.]

"who ya gonna call?" by igneousbitch (24k)

“Fret not, honeybun.” Gideon shook her red hair out of her eyes, belligerent. “I’m not totally sold on your whole skepticism thing.” “Well,” Harrow said, ignoring the nickname. She turned to the rest of the room, clearing her throat politely before addressing the empty air. “Ghosts, if you’re real, give us a sign. Make a noise. Move something. Send a shiver down our backs. Whisper softly into Nav’s left ear—” “I seriously fucking hate you.” - (Casual sex and paranormal investigation. Not necessarily in that order.) (or: the Buzzfeed Unsolved AU in which Gideon is ready to fight a ghost, and Harrow just wants to be haunted.)

Long(>30k):

"Beneath a Blue and Foreign Sky" by zoicite (35k)

Harrow has a decision to make.

"A Heart Full Of Sutures" by Rohad (40k)

All Gideon wanted was to get outside and ride her motorcycle. No part of that plan had included eight weeks in Canaan Medical Center with a broken Pelvis and the meanest little doctor this side of the eastern seabord.

"Midnight at the Mithraeum" by zoicite (66k) ♥︎

It'd been two years since Gideon Nav gathered her wine key and her gaming license and escaped The Locked Tomb, a speakeasy-style cocktail bar managed by the hateful Harrowhark Nonagesimus. Now, dealing tables at The Mithraeum Hotel & Casino, things were really looking up. So when Gideon scored a date with the most beautiful showgirl in the Gilded Halls of Ida, the last thing she expected was to wake up married to her old nemesis and former coworker. The story starts the night of Gideon's date and alternates between the events leading up to the wedding and the weeks that follow as Gideon tries to navigate life married to someone who claims to want nothing more than to forget she exists.

"Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea" by pipistrelle (90k)

Being the journal of Reverend Daughter Harrowhark Nonagesimus, chronicling the journey of the Emperor's warship Cenotaph on its hunt to slay an immortal Resurrection Beast. Or: the Moby Dick crossover AU that nobody asked for.

"The Darkest Night, The Brightest Light" by eternaleponine (50k)

Harrowhark has known for a long time that her home's financial situation is dire, and not getting better. She has plans to fix it all, but can't implement them until she turns eighteen in a few months. When her parents announce that the best (perhaps only) way to save Drearburh is to marry off its heir, Harrow realizes the timeline has changed and she needs to take action now to save her home... and herself. Desperate times call for desperate measures, after all. Enter Gideon Nav. Detested foe, and Harrow's only hope.

"putting your fist through a thick sheet of glass (i know you don't want to)" by oretsev (46k)

Harrowhark Nonagesimus and Gideon Nav have always been at each other’s throats, and the animosity has only intensified since the death of Harrow’s parents. But when a car accident leaves Gideon without any memories of her past, Harrow sees a chance at the clean slate she’s wanted for years. Becoming involved in Gideon’s recovery assuages some of the guilt, but as she and Gideon become closer and increasingly involved in each other's lives, Harrow worries that some of her secrets may be more than she can atone for.

Ongoing:

"semi-charmed kinda life" by strangedelight (182k+) ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎ ♥︎

Gideon asked questions. Harrow surprised her with answers. They reached an agreement; they decided to be smart, to be patient. Gideon made a promise, Harrow gave her one in return. Wait and see. OR the year is 1994, and Gideon and Harrow leave their small town for life in the city. OR team 69 roommates au only this time it's the 90s

"Intern the Sixth" by apocalypticTaco (33k+)

ADDRESSING THE HEIR TO THE NINTH HOUSE, OR PRESUMED EQUIVALENT: PALAMEDES SEXTUS, HEIR TO THE SIXTH HOUSE, PRESENTS HIS COMPLIMENTS TO THE NINTH AND REQUESTS A FORMAL ARRANGEMENT WHEREIN HIS MASTER WARDEN AND CAVALIER APPRENTICESHIP UNDER THE NINTH FOR FOUR YEARS IN EXCHANGE FOR THE SIXTH’S SERVICES. *Details to be discussed. Please turn to back page. Timeframe variable. Services and agreements variable upon the Ninth's request. An internship of this caliber is highly unprecedented and likely unheard of, but any information valuable to the Ninth and into the Tomb will remain undisclosed upon request; Primary experience and study is required as the Master Warden has already decided upon such being his final thesis prior to his end studies. No takebacks, no denials. Pleased to meet you. Palamedes Sextus, Heir to the Sixth and Master Warden and Camilla the Sixth, Cavalier Primary and Warden's Hand of the Library

TO THE MASTER WARDEN: FORMALLY REJECTED.

"What's Eating Gideon Nav?" by labyrinthineRetribution (40k+)

After a miserable fifteen years at Blessed Saint Anastasia's School for Girls, Gideon's luck finally changes.

"We Have Always Lived in the Apartment" by labyrinthineRetribution (171k+)

John looks up from his Jack and Coke in drunken curiosity. "What's with the face, Harrowhark?" he asks, genuinely concerned. "Contrary to popular belief," Gideon butts in, "her face just fuckin' looks like that, bitch." She tends to use "bitch" as liberally as commas when off her ass. "You're piss drunk," you shoot back. "And you, my good bitch, are just as contemptible as the day you clawed your way up from Hell." - It is Harrowhark Nonagesimus' birthday, and it only gets worse from there.

PWP (basically):

"I'll hold in these hands all that remains" by corvidlesbian (6.5k) ♥︎

“Do you want me to try?” Gideon said. “What?” “You got all hot and bothered without me trying. Do you want me to try?” Their newfound habit of cuddling gets interesting.

"sting of a wasp" by brightbolt, imperfectlyctor (42k) ♥︎

"You’re a virgin,” Gideon said, testing it out. "Huh." Harrow didn’t like the sound of that huh. She knew Gideon’s noises, and that was a thoughtful, sinister huh. That was the same huh she’d made before putting canned tuna in Crux’s work boots. Her eyes narrowed. “What.” Gideon cocked her head to the side. “Is there a reason you’re waiting?” There was no judgement in the question— only genuine curiosity. Perhaps it was this that made Harrow more inclined to answer. “I don’t have the time to look for someone new,” She shrugged. “And my available pool is… somewhat limited.” “Well,” Gideon said, with just a hint of conspiracy in those glittering golden eyes. “If you ever want to change that, you have my number.” What? What? Harrow blinked. “What?” Or: the five times Gideon and Harrow successfully bone, and the one time they don't.

"Suckle, Honey" by zoicite (7.9k)

“You crave my juice,” Gideon accused. “I do not crave your juice.” “Fuck, you do though. You went off to explore that study alone, without your cavalier, using a key that I nearly gave my life for, and then you snorted some powder that made you crave my juice! Harrow. I never would have let you sniff powder from a ten thousand year old jar.” This was untrue--Gideon probably wouldn’t have noticed Harrow breathing in a puff of jar powder until it was too late--but it sounded like something Camilla Hect might say, so Gideon went with it anyway. Camilla definitely would have stopped Palamedes from accidentally sniffing old as fuck Eighth House jarred juice addiction powder.

"Five Times We Hatefucked and One Time We Didn't" by rnanqo (8k)

“Fuck you,” you said. “Fuck me yourself, you coward.” You ran a hand through my hair, fisted it, and pulled my head up. From here I had a spectacular view of your weird blown-out seething expression, like I was the worst thing you’d ever seen. Also a view up your blood-crusted nostrils. Choice. “Maybe I will, Griddle,” you said. “Maybe I will stop fucking you over and start fucking you." Gideon and Harrow realize, abruptly, that their hatefucking is no longer hatefucking.

"a call to motion" by groundedsaucer (coasterchild) (10k) ♥︎

Harrow and Gideon watch a porno.

"put her canine teeth in the side of my neck" by stranded_star (8.8k)

Harrowhark Nonagesimus is getting a PhD and a divorce. Against her better judgment, she goes out to the bar to celebrate and meets an incorrigible, absolutely ripped salt-and-paprika butch who takes her home and gives it to her good. To her horror, it's the best night of her life, and she sneaks home with her tail between her legs. Harrow has more important things to worry about - like raising her daughter and building the next stages of her career. But when her daughter's favorite teacher, someone named Griddle, turns about to be the Gideon she met at the bar, she's forced to contend with allowing herself (and her daughter) to find the happy ending she never thought they'd have. Featuring MILF!Harrow, Teacher!Gideon, and a very amused Camilla Hect.

"The Wound That Swallows" by seelieunseelie (7.8k)

Harrow can make out an uncomfortable amount of detail about Gideon’s body beneath. Powerful, strong as ever, yet somehow vulnerable for its supplication below Harrow’s. “Are we gonna get this over with?” Gideon says in a voice softly scratchy. She blushes then when Harrow sits on the edge of the bed. “It will hurt,” Harrow says. “Yeah,” Gideon says. “I think I can handle it.”

[beatrixstonehill2]

"That's why I'm so excited for this stupid semester to be over! I'm trying to be a professional fashion model and the stupid guys at my university can't stop thinking with their cocks. It's kind of pathetic, really. But if in the meantime it placates these horny nerds and gives them something to play with and enjoy. On one hand..... I hate having these enormous cow-tits bouncing and jiggling every time I do literally anything. They're just so fat and swollen and sweaty..... God knows what boys see in silly stuff like this.

At any rate, like most universities these days our insurance is given out by the university and we're signed up for all kinds of programs and drug trials. You know, normal stuff. But I was oh so lucky enough to be selected for compulsory breast growth so my boobs can get big enough by the end of every semester that the surgery students can reduce my boobs back to a dignified girth. I shudder to think of all the money my family spent on tuition just for my body to be at the mercy of a bunch of horny med students.

Apparently the boys there had a crush on me, selected me and sent my info to the university insurance provider. So now for my whole time here at this school, earning my Bachelor's, my breasts will be subjected to this humiliating torment over and over. Imagine how mangled they'll be by the time I graduate? Might as well lop the things off by then...... I mean, just look at what I'm dealing with! Men play with them incessantly, whether through my clothes or they insist on pulling them out to have their fun. It is rather amusing, I'll admit. I like to stroke their faces and call them handsome as they handle my oversized breasts. I enjoy seeing them squirm, their cocks getting so big, a lot of boys cum in their pants simply from kneading and groping me. It's kind of empowering.....

And to think this is only after a couple months of these rapid-growth injections. Two months left. I could double in size. How will that even work? My poor back aches as it is. My boobs have huge stretch marks and look so swollen and red I tend to keep them covered. Boys don't seem to mind but other girls giggle and gossip. Then in another two months, when these hornball magnets are unbearably huge, I guess I'll be begging like a pathetic Hentai princess to not have to grow any bigger. For my captors to please stop forcing my body to expand! The med students will love hearing me beg. Then the whole university gets to watch my tits get dismantled, streamed live. I'll be flat chested again, given a couple weeks to recover, then I'll be given the injections yet again.

And this will be my life for over three more years! Forced to watch helplessly as my breasts grow to absurd, male-jerk-off-fantasy proportions, only to be chopped down to nothing, over and over. If these boys need so much practice why not line up all the busty girls and just chop off their breasts one by one like a regular community college? No.... instead these students see fit to get creative with me. So, I'll get the humiliating pleasure of growing massive blimp-tits every four months. I feel like my brain my start to crack..... Having to endure this for so long as I try to study and not look ridiculous in front of my peers. My growing breasts groped and pulled from my clothes, slapped around and fucked. I already feel like I'll never get the stink of cum out from between these sweaty, fat udders of mine. Even once the students chop them down to mincemeat in two months. I feel like a lab animal. Like all I am is this pair of breasts that exist solely for men to play with and torment and experiment on. Maybe instead of being a model I ought to donate my body for medical research, sign away my rights, and literally just become a pair of breasts for horny old doctors to run tests and trials on..... One thing at a time, I need to graduate first. Not for my diploma, but so I don't disappoint all these boys looking forward to four years of inflating and chopping off my boobs.... I simply can't abandon my purpose like that. ❤️"

[bunnylovesani]

Daddy Issues

(This is what I imagine him looking like in this fic)

Content warnings: MDNI, reader has daddy issues, 20 year age gap, Anakin is your best friend’s dad, drinking, fingering, dirty talk, general smut with a bit of fluff

WC: 2.6k

You and Leia met in your first year of college and your friendship quickly blossomed. Despite being from the same town, you’d never bumped into each other. If you had, you’re sure you would’ve remembered him. The first time you’d met him was Christmas, 4 years ago; it was your first time coming round to the Skywalker residence and all you knew was that Leia was raised by a single dad, who was now in his 40s. The moment you laid eyes on him, you were fascinated. He had dark blonde hair which curled into golden ringlets at the ends and a mysterious quality about him you were sure made the women weak at the knees- how he’d managed to stay single for most of his life was beyond you.

Despite your fervent initial attraction to him, you tried your best to put all of it aside. Besides the obvious reasons to restrain yourself, he was also the first positive male figure you’d had in your life. He was a damn good father; always present in Leia’s life and, since you two were joined at the hip, by extension yours too. You ignored every sign, every impulse, every sizzling moment of tension that came between you two- tension you naturally assumed was one sided- he’s a decent, respectable man after all.

You had it all under control- until you received a call confirming the graduate program you’d applied for months ago had been accepted. The subsequent week was spent getting daydrunk while hesitantly packing your entire life into a van full of brown boxes- or rather, directing Leia to do it for you since you were too inebriated. It all boiled down to your final night; one last night in the suburbs you’d felt suffocated by your entire life before you moved to the big city to start your shiny new life.

So why did you feel sad? You suspected you knew the reason but spent the better half of an evening denying it and battling the growing urge to pay him a visit. Eventually, when the reality that you were about to leave him forever sunk in, you found your feet taking you out the door of their own volition. Preparing to ambush him with the help of some liquid courage you’d choked down prior to leaving, you rung the doorbell of his house for what you thought may be the last time.

“Oh, hey honey. Leia just left to spend the night at her boyfriend’s house, you just missed her. I thought you’d already said your goodbyes?”. He innocently questions as he opens the door and lets you in.

“I know, it’s you I came to say goodbye to.” You say anxiously, staring at him intensely through your lashes.

“I see, I’m honoured.” He smiles and approaches you, pulling you into a hug. “Good luck with everything sweetheart, stay safe and above all- remember to have fun! Life passes you by in an instant and one day you’ll wake up as old as I am and kick yourself for not grabbing every opportunity you had.”

“Funny you say that, Sir. That’s the exact mantra I’ve adopted recently. Fuck it, right?” You help yourself to the glass of whiskey he was holding out of his hand and take a sip.

“Can I sit with you for a little while?” You plop onto his cushioned couch before he can reply.

“Erm, yeah of course, make yourself at home.” He says welcomingly, though with a perplexed expression on his slightly wrinkled face. “Are you okay?” He wonders if there’s a reason you’re acting so strange. You don’t usually drink.

“I’m great, thank you Sir.” You bat your lashes. “Just feeling sentimental with the circumstances and all.”

“How many times have I said, call me Anakin. I know I’m old but after so many years I’d say we’re on a first name basis.” He chuckles, taking a seat beside you on the sofa, keeping a respectable distance. “I know I’m nothing much to you but I really do think of you and Leia as my girls. I’m so proud of everything you’ve accomplished.” He says endearingly, smiling at you kindly.

That’s when you’re reminded of the reason you came here tonight. You had every intention of telling him how you truly felt, how you’d had a raging crush on him from the moment you met him- and now that you might never see him again, you saw no reason why you shouldn’t act on those feelings.

But hearing him compare you to his daughter filled a hole you felt inside you ever since your father abandoned you- while simultaneously making you feel sick to your stomach.

You stared into his warm eyes, encased with crows feet and accompanied by two prominent creases on his forehead. You shouldn’t find a man of his age so attractive but you do.

“You know, I don’t think you’re old.” You state simply.

“What?” He asks somewhat confused by your meaning.

“You said one day I’ll wake up as old as you. I don’t think you’re old at all. If anything, you’re in your prime.” You look away. “You’re not nothing to me either.”

He looks visibly stunned, though he tries to mask it by refilling a glass of whiskey, the brown liquid almost spilling everywhere.

“Right back at you, kid. Well I’m sure you’ve got a lot of packing to do so I won’t keep you. You need a ride?” He shuffles in his seat.

“No. Not the kind of ride you’re thinking of anyway.” A wave of boldness overcomes you and you feel the alcohol burning through your veins as you shuffle closer to him.

“Uh, I think that whiskey’s gone straight to your head. Why don’t I get you some water?” He’s about to get up but you grab him by the hand and force him to stay seated, holding onto it longer than necessary.

“You know how I feel about you Anakin. I know you know.” You stare deep into his mature blue eyes as his Adam’s apple bobs up and down with an apprehensive gulp.

“Now that’s enough young lady. You absolutely should not be thinking about me in that way. I’m almost twice your age.” He sternly warns you and you can’t help but wince. The way he’s scolding you is triggering some deep rooted daddy issues. You knew you always had them to some extent but you never knew just how bad they were until you met Anakin.

“I dont mean to make you uncomfortable, I just couldn’t hold it back anymore. I’ll leave right now if you want me to, you’ll never see me again. Just tell me you don’t feel anything towards me and I’ll be on my way.” You’re huddled over him with your legs on the sofa, hand slowly inching its way towards his thigh.

A flash of conflicting emotions run through his eyes- he’s obviously embarrassed, perhaps shocked - though you find it hard to believe he had no clue at all- but there’s something else. He’s debating with himself, you can see the cogs whirring in his mind.

“I can’t say that.” He meets your gaze. “I care about you a lot, you know that. Which is why you need to leave. You’re not in the right state of mind.” He gets up again but you pull him down and climb onto his lap, wrapping your arms around his neck.

“I have been in love with you for 4 years, Anakin. You are my every waking thought. I know it’s wrong and you’d never be with me but I can’t control myself. If I can’t have you forever, let me have just this one night- please.” You wait for him to object to the way you’re sitting on him but to your surprise, he doesn’t.

“Alright, honey.” He grumbles softly after a little while, looking at you with a subdued expression that conveyed both concern and understanding. “Alright, if that’s what you want, I’ll give you what you want. I’m yours for the night.”

You sit there, stunned. You were fully expecting him to kick you out of the house and tell Leia everything. You were expecting anything other than him giving in. Is he just taking pity on you and thinks this will help you get over your daddy issues? He knows you have them. Or is he as sick and twisted as you are?

“Can…can I…” You lean in, pressing your fingertips against his lips.

“Leave it all to me sweetheart. Daddy will make it all better.” He wastes no time taking your hands into his own and kissing your fingertips softly, before pressing his lips against yours.

You’re too stunned to react so you allow him to kiss your motionless lips, your eyes still wide open in disbelief. You’d never been so grateful to someone for taking the lead.

“Close those pretty eyes for me baby, you’re safe now.” He kisses your eyelids softly and his gentle caresses awaken a deep urge within you.

You grab at his collared shirt, loosening his tie and unbuttoning it. “Been working more late nights at the office?” You mumble into his lips as you push the crisp white shirt off his shoulders, leaving his muscles exposed.

“That’s because I have two women in my life who bleed me dry.” He chuckles and you smile at the memory; he’s shelled out for you on more than one occasion- from plane tickets and birthday gifts to a new MacBook for college because your one broke and you couldn’t afford another since you’d been fired from your waitressing job- he even agreed that that guy deserved to get a drink thrown in his face for grabbing you. He said that if he were there, he would’ve done worse.

Before you freefall into a psychoanalytical hole, Anakin rips your skirt off - it’s as if he can hear your mind working overtime. You gasp a little as he kneads the fat of your ass cheeks roughly, guiding you until you’re grinding against him. You can feel him getting hard, and oh did it feel big. You’d stolen subtle glances at his crotch on numerous occasions, contemplating what it might look like, what colour the tip might be, what it might taste like. You couldn’t bare to be left in the dark any longer so you reached for his belt and impatiently started undoing it- but you were stopped by his large hands cupping yours.

“Not just yet princess. I wanna take my time with you.” He whispered coarsely and the feeling of his warm breath on your neck sent shivers down your spine. Before you knew it, he had spun you around so that you were sitting on his lap with your back facing his front. He traced his tongue in big open kisses along your neck while his hands trailed up and down your thighs, before he hooked his fingers around your panties.

“Lets get these off shall we?” He purred and his words sent sparks straight down to your core. He lowered your underwear only down to your knees, before spreading your legs a little, his hand placed under one of your thighs to keep it up. You felt the cold air hit you and knew instantly that you were soaked.

You breathing was reduced to short little pants as his fingers reached the inner folds of your pussy, and it felt like every caress touched your soul. You started squirming about in his lap as two of his fingers slid into you.

“Goddamn… oh baby, I didnt even mean for that to happen but you’re just so wet they slipped right in.” You mewled at his lustful words as he curled his fingers inside you, rubbing your clit with the base of his thumb.

“Oh Ani…ah fuck!.” You cried. “Anakin!”

“Yes sweetheart, what is it?” Gaining speed, he grabbed your cheeks with his free hand and turned your head to force you to look at him but you were too stimulated to respond.

“Do you hear how wet you are? And here I thought you were a good girl.” He maintains eye contact and your cheeks flush at the lewd sounds coming from your core. You take a glance and see his hand is glistening with your arousal, wetness squelching as it pours down to the Rolex on his wrist.

“Aah…I, I’m sorry daddy! Mm can’t help it” You manage to squeal out, embarassed by how wet and helpless he made you.

“Don’t you dare apologise sweetheart. Daddy loves how wet this pussy gets. Is this all for me?”

“Yes, yes Sir it’s all for you- mm all yours!” You moan as you feel your climax fast approaching. “Please can I cum? Pleasee daddy!”

“Yes princess, cum for me.” He pumps his fingers in and out of you at such a tempo you have to hold onto his arms for stability.

As if someone opened a dam, your orgasm washes over you and you let out a stupified scream- you wanted to say his name but your brain is so scrambled all you can manage is a mumbled moan of incoherent syllables.

“Such a good girl baby, well done honey.” He plants kisses all over your cheek and neck as your heart rate climbs down.

As you come down from your high, the realisation of what you’re doing dawns on you. As if he could read your mind, he takes your face into his hands.

“What’s going on in that beautiful mind of yours? If you think you’ll regret it, tell me now. I don’t think I could handle it if we made love and you woke up regretting it.” He speaks softly, as if being too harsh might scare you away.

“No, no it’s not you.” You quickly respond. “I just feel a little cheap. I don’t ever have one night stands so I’m kinda out of my depth here… and the guilty thoughts about Leia creeping up on me don’t help either.”

“Hey, you’re not cheap.” You scoff at his attempt to reassure you. “Stop that, I mean it. I have nothing but the utmost respect for you regardless of the outcome of this. But…I mean I’m out of my depth here too. If we’re being honest, I haven’t had sex in years.” Anakin admits and your jaw drops. How could a man this damn fine not get laid for that long?

“It’s a personal choice.” He corrects before you jump to any conclusions about what might be wrong with him. “I don’t like one night stands either and if I’m not in love, I have no real interest in sex.” Your heart leaps at the insinuation- if he’s willing to sleep with you, that must mean…right?

“So let’s not have a one night stand then.” He continues and your heart drops. I guess you thought wrong.

“Let’s keep seeing each other. I ache all over at the thought of this being the last time I see you. I need you in my life. I don’t care if it’s wrong, I don’t care what people say. Leia will come round to the idea eventually, she has to.”

“I love you.” You reply a little too quickly, staring at him with so much admiration you think your heart might burst.

“I love you too, my sweet girl.”

Part 2

[sagan-starstuff]

XF Meta: Scully's Medical Training Timeline

At the request of @randomfoggytiger, I wanted to do my damnedest to make Scully's education and training timeline make even a little sense. I'm a physician (specifically a specialist in adult infectious diseases), and it's fairly clear to me that CC and Co probably didn't actually talk to any doctors about how medical training works. Love my girl - I'm a Scully Effect kid, I don't think I'd be a doctor at all if it weren't for the inspiration of Dana Scully. But her timeline is...iffy at best.

Disclaimer: My medical school and post-med school training occurred from 2009-2018, Scully's occurred in the 1980's-90's. From what I can tell, the durations of many residencies and fellowships don't seem to have changed much, but I can't say that for certainty for all programs at all institutions. I am also from the US, so I cannot speak to medical training in other countries.

Our girl was born in 1964, and so unless she skipped a grade (which some schools would do if students were classified as "gifted" or otherwise exceptional, she would have graduated from high school at age 18 in 1982 and went straight to college. Let's assume she didn't skip a grade, for the sake of argument.

You have to have a Bachelor's degree to apply to medical school. These degrees typically take 4 years, though if someone arrives at college with credits from dual-enrollment high school classes or AP exam credits OR if they take summer classes some people can complete them in 3 years. I don't know what the availability of dual enrollment or AP classes was like in the early 80's (and like CC, I'm too lazy to do the research to find out), so we can assume that Scully graduated from college in 1986.

Medical school is 4 years long - no shortening this at that point in time, and even now in almost all cases. So that puts medical school graduation in 1990 IF she's following a traditional timeline and went straight from college to medical school.

Now, if someone is going to go into practice they have to do a residency in at least one of a variety of specialties (Internal Medicine, Pediatrics, Surgery, etc.) in order to be board certified and practice independently. There are very, very few job options in clinical medicine if you DON'T do a residency, so if you want to practice, you have to do it. Residencies can be anywhere from 3-5 years, depending on the specialty. You can also further subspecialize after a residency by doing one or more fellowships (typically 1-3 years depending on the fellowship) before sitting for your board certification exams and starting independent practice. For example - after medical school I did a 3-year residency in adult internal medicine, then a 2 year fellowship in adult infectious diseases to be eligible to sit for the boards and enter my specialty, so 5 years further training after medical school before I could get a job, get board certified, and practice.

Scully is a forensic pathologist. She would have had to do a 3 or 4 year pathology residency (both were options at the time) followed by a 1 year forensic pathology fellowship. You CANNOT perform autopsies right out of medical school, if you are going to be a forensic pathologist you HAVE to do this training. So, following a traditional timeline this puts her as having completed forensic pathology training in 1994 or 1995. Pilot starts March 7th, 1992, so this is loooooong after she's canonically already an FBI agent and teaching at the academy.

But our girl's a smart cookie, so let's take a little leeway with her timeline. Let's say she skipped a grade some time in K-12. This puts high school graduation in 1981. Let's say she ALSO graduates with a bunch of AP credit and does summer semesters and finishes her undergraduate degree in Physics in 3 years. This puts her as starting medical school in 1984, with graduation in 1988. She'd still need to do that pathology residency and forensic pathology fellowship - let's assume a 3 year residency, then 1 year fellowship, so she'd finish training in 1992.

Still doesn't fit.

Let's go totally off the rails here - we know Scully was recruited out of medical school to the FBI, so she didn't do a traditional residency at all - UNLESS the FBI has an internal forensic pathology residency. It would HAVE to be accelerated in some way - some programs combine residency and fellowship by giving less elective time and more focus to the fellowship content. It's not common but they exist. Let's say in theory the FBI has an accelerated forensic pathology residency that takes 3 years, in addition to the 20 weeks of the FBI academy training. This has her finishing residency AND FBI academy training some time in 1991.

This is the ONLY way she could have finished forensic pathology training AND the FBI academy with enough time to be a fully certified forensic pathologist and FBI agent with some time left to teach at the FBI academy before being assigned to the X-Files on March 7th, 1992.

I can suspend my disbelief enough to be on board with this. You'd have to be pretty damned special, which we know she is, to get recruited out of medical school by the FBI. Maybe they even developed the accelerated combined residency/fellowship just for her! She's Dana Katherine Motherf***ing Scully, people!

Now, IWTB is where things get REALLY unbelievable. (Disclaimer: I have not watched IWTB since seeing it in theaters in 2008. I'll get around to rewatching it someday soon. Probably with a bottle of wine. Not a glass. A bottle.)

Mulder and Scully go on the run in 2002. We don't know how long they were in the wind, but by 2008, she's been allowed to resume a career and is practicing at Our Lady of Sorrows. Clearly in pediatrics - but general pediatricians sure as hell don't do stem cell transplants, so she'd almost certainly have to be a pediatric oncologist. We aren't told what her specialty is specifically, but that's what she'd have to be to do a stem cell transplant.

(That scene in the OR isn't even what stem cell transplants LOOK LIKE but that's a rant for another day, back to my point.)

MEDICAL BOARDS DON'T JUST LET YOU CHANGE YOUR SPECIALTY FOR FUNSIES.

(Deep breaths. Serenity now. Ok, let's do this.)

Scully would have had to do an ENTIRELY NEW residency AND fellowship in order to practice as a pediatric oncologist. Pediatrics residency is 3 years long. Pediatric Hematology/Oncology fellowship is 3 years long. In order for this to be even remotely possible, she would have had to START residency in 2002 to finish fellowship by 2008 and start her job at Our Lady of Sorrows.

And she's a former FBI agent harboring a known felon, on the run from government officials and alien hybrids who want her and Mulder dead.

There is absolutely no way even the smallest, most hard-up pediatric residency program is going to accept her with that hanging over her head. I'm not going to get into all the details of how rigorous and stressful the post-medical school residency application and match process is, but even if she didn't apply until she KNEW it was safe to come out from underground, she'd still have to explain a multi-year gap in her resume/CV to the program directors. Multi-year gaps in career and training without a reasonable explanation like a medical issue, time off to care for an ailing family member, time off for research, time away in a different, legitimate career are NOT looked on kindly when applying for residency positions. She would have a HELL of a time getting into a totally different residency.

It could happen - if anyone could do it, she could. But there's absolutely no way there's enough time for her to complete that training by 2008.

"But sagan-starstuff, it's CC, it's X-Files, we know there was no show bible and no one but the fans gave a shit about continuity or things making sense, there's no logic just vibes"

I KNOW, OK. I KNOW. And I love this insane, beautiful masterpiece anyway. I love exploring the possibilities of how and when it all could have happened with my fellow insane Philes who work so hard to glean meaning and order from this perfect mess of a show.

But couldn't CC have talked to one (1) doctor about what medical training is like at some point between 1993 and 2018? Just one?

Anyway. Yeah. That's my meta. Scully's training timeline makes no goddamned sense. Compels me, though.

@randomfoggytiger, this is for you. Honorable mention to @precedex-files who I ranted about this with in messages a while back.

[what-even-is-thiss]

Hi roman. I know this is very weird, but i've seen you give some life advice to other people, so i thought i could give it a try too. Don't answer if you don't want to. Anyway

Do you have any advice/tips for a 15 y/o who thinks they just have no control over their life? Like, my concentration is dog shit, i think my grades are slipping. My executive dysfunction so bad and i think i'm disappointing a lot of people. I have no idea how to handle anything in my life. I can't force myself to do the things i need to (not that that'd be any good, i'll immediately cry lol). I just, don't fucking know how i could make things better for myself. And i can't really talk to adults about it, they'll repeat the stuff i already know, and i am the worst person to put their feelings into words, so they'll prob never understand. Not in the edgy way.

Yeah so sorry for half venting into your ask box. Thank you in advance if you'll answer it, if it's too weird and you don't want to do that for whatever reason, that's ok. Peace and love <3

Dude, you’re unfortunately suffering from being 15. And possibly a learning disorder. Godspeed to you.

And I don’t say that to belittle your problems. In many ways as a teenager you don’t have control over a lot of things. You’re still under the control of your parents, you’re still learning how to deal with adult level emotions and ideas. A lot is expected of you and a lot of things are made to seem more important than they are. It’s hard to tell what’s actually important and what’s just adults blowing things out of proportion. It sucks and it’s frustrating!

If you can, you might want to talk to a counselor. If your parents or guardians are anti-counseling you might try to talk to someone at your school like a teacher or administrator or school nurse about the possibility of getting counseling without your parents knowing. Some schools have programs like that.

The adults closest to you might not understand but if you keep looking you’ll eventually find someone who remembers what it’s like to be in your shoes.

And I remember fully feeling like I’d never get control over anything. The end goal of life was graduation from high school and god only knows if I keep existing after that. But the thing is, you do! You keep existing and you figure a lot of stuff out. Wisdom does come with time, it turns out. And legally and practically you end up getting a lot more autonomy as time goes on.

And I know hearing things like this might not feel comforting. When you’re stuck, you’re stuck and no matter how much you logically know it’ll get better right now it sucks.

Just find ways to keep going. And try asking for help sometimes. If your family won’t listen, find someone who will. Take the time to write down your problems and how you feel if you can’t come up with explanations of what’s going on. Or find a friend to talk it out with so you can practice explaining yourself.

If there’s one thing I can promise you, when you’re a couple years into adulthood all of the problems from your teenage years start to feel small. At the time they were big and important though. And that’s what you’re going through right now. And a lot of adults forget about that. Hang in there, and when all of this is behind you, remember how hard it was and maybe someday you can help someone like you.

I’m sorry if all that wasn’t helpful. I don’t know too much about your individual situation. But ask for help when you can. Someone out there understands. You’ll find them.

[jtl-fics]

Math Nerd AU

I’ve got quite a few time travel AFTG fics banging around in my head but by far the funniest one is this:

Neil dies in 40s to a drunk driver after a respectable professional Exy career, two olympic golds, a very successful and healthy relationship, a steady post-injury career as Ichirou Moriyama’s preferred accountant (kept himself squeaky clean) and years to get his shit together. He wakes up back early on into his runaway life with his mom and is immediately like “oh no I’m NOT doing this shit again.”

He makes a lot of changes, mostly for Andrew’s benefit but also gets Mary to the Hatfords, and gets himself set up in Ichirou’s confidence again because man he’s gonna play Exy again but Ichirou was actually a very solid boss if you’re competent and Neil is very good at managing finances.

Ichirou had plans for Neil. He’s waiting for his father to pass before he brings Neil fully out in the open as one of his since his father is still demanding that the Wesninski heir be given over to his brother and Ichirou is not about to let the only accountant who has ever gotten him a completely legal tax refund go to the NEST. He’s also not about to let the Butcher near Neil so he puts Neil off in the middle of nowhere with a steady paycheck and orders to graduate highschool. Neil picks Millport.

Hernandez still notices that no one ever comes to Neil’s games and that the kid is driven but doesn’t make any real attachments with his teammates despite Millport becoming the Arizona State Champs the year Neil leads the team. So he sends tapes to Wymack and Kevin. Neil is surprised to see them since he’d planned on never getting anywhere near Andrew after he set things up for the blond. (Killed Drake, paid some people to legally adopt and look after Andrew, got CPS to investigate Tilda properly, paid off the right people so that the couple who took in Andrew took in Aaron too, and paid for them to move out to SC (it’s close to the twins remaining family) and then Tilda managed to die on her own from an OD and the twins got the money without Andrew needing to have any part in it.)

Neil ends up signing for the Foxes despite Ichirou having plans for Neil to start attending University of Texas (Great Accounting Program) in the fall. Neil of course completely fails to tell Ichirou this since Ichirou hadn’t said anything beyond finishing highschool and if he had plans for Neil then he should have told him.

Neil, the utterly self-sufficient adult that he is, proceeds to just be the most bizarre stabilizing force the foxes have ever encountered. He knows all about their shit, their issues, their triggers, and how to help them. The Foxes all kind of crave that stability and Neil can take whatever they say unflinchingly. He’ll give as good as he gets but he also makes team breakfast pretty much every morning after he finishes his absurdly early run. Kevin is in heaven with his Striker pick (Neil in this thing is so incredibly boring and well-adjusted that Andrew just cannot believe that he’s a spy so Kevin and Neil start night practices almost immediately & Neil shows Kevin drills that he and Future!Kevin had made and Kevin is just like “I am so good at picking talent. I am a god.”)

The 3 things that make this so funny (at least to me) is:

1. All the Foxes just like not understanding why the hell Neil is a Fox (They’re glad he’s there but it feels like a clerical error that such a nice well-adjusted guy is on the team) until they see him without a shirt and until immediately after the Kathy Ferdinand show where Ichirou shows up and is like “Palmetto doesn’t even have a nationally ranked accounting program!? Also what if this sport gives you a TBI and you can’t do my taxes anymore????”

2. Andrew is just inexplicably and infuriatingly smitten, enamored, crushing, heart-eyes for this BORING ASS MATH NERD. Neil’s sense of humor was honed against Andrew so he’s got like a direct line to Andrew’s funny bone. He never has never once for even a second confused Aaron and Andrew (and they’re a lot closer in this fic because there’s no Tilda angst and the ‘parents’ handled getting Aaron’s rehabilitation handled off the books so he could have a future in medicine.) Even after the whole mob accountant reveal Andrew is seething because even with that Neil is just incredibly well-adjusted and normal despite all the insane shit going on with him. He propositions Neil when Neil mentions having a past male significant other but Neil has the AUDACITY to get all sad-eyed and say that he can’t be with Andrew because his heart still belongs to some CHUMP in his past. (Cue Current!Andrew having an unknowing bitter hatred / rivalry of Future!Andrew and swearing that he’ll woo Neil away from a guy who’s probably in the mob or shitty because Andrew hasn’t seen any evidence of Neil’s SO reaching out to him but he knows Neil isn’t lying)

3. One of the reasons that Andrew is inexplicably and infuriatingly attracted / smitten to Neil is that Future!Andrew did not really spend a lot of time in the future after Neil died and he’s slowly seeping through until Neil’s confrontation with his dad and then Future!Andrew fully wakes up and he’s PISSED because at least in the original timeline Andrew was inexplicably and infuriatingly attracted to the mysterious freshmen who was hiding his appearance, looked like he was seconds away from running across the country at all times, and had a whole aura of danger around him. Now he’s revealed that he’d have fallen for Neil no matter what because he fell for Neil when he was just a BORING ASS MATH NERD and WORST OF ALL Neil went and made him jealous of HIMSELF because Neil didn’t want to cheat on Andrew with ANDREW. What an asshole. He’s gotta kiss his entire face off and tell him that he’s never allowed to cross a street without Andrew again because if a drunk driver is going to take one of them out then it’s going to take BOTH of them out.

[goodluckclove]

I've been meaning to say something. (100 follower hot take)

Hey! Thanks for stopping by. I hope you've had a nice day. Why don't you rest with me for a while? I made some chocolate chip cookies - with shortening instead of butter, so they're very soft and very chocolatey. I made way too many and they aren't my wife's favorite, so I could use some help in eating them.

You're probably a writer, right? Or maybe you think about how you could be. Browse the tags here, or on other social media platforms. Maybe you used to write stories as a kid. I bet those were fun. Teachers might've thought they were impressive, or they dissected them line by line until the words didn't make sense in your head anymore. Either way, if you're here you're probably here for a reason.

(rant alert)

I dipped a toe in online writing communities on and off. My last attempt was forty-five minutes scrolling through the writing hashtag on Youtube Shorts (so TikTok, I guess? I don't know). I didn't like it. I really didn't. The thing that sticks out the strongest in my mind is one particular video where a woman claims that every story needs a second act plot twist.

Huh? Every story? All of them? Why? Since when? Who are you? What qualifications do you have to make a statement like that?

That's the common thread that makes a lot of writing spaces very uncomfortable for me. Successful writers are really only successful in their genre and for the given moment, so they don't have that much objective authority in the craft. And yet I see a lot of people deciding the things that you can't do in writing. Or the things you have to do, and how you have to do them. It was so much of Writeblr at first glance that I almost dipped out once again. I didn't, though, and I'm glad I didn't because now I get to watch some of the next great storytellers from across the world grow and examine and forge their way forward.

No one can teach you how to write. No, that's not true. Teachers teach literacy. Handwriting. Typing maybe - do schools still teach typing? Let me try saying it in a different way - no one, not one single person on this goddamned planet, has the right to tell you how to make a story.

I was supposed to get my MFA in creative writing before my first breakdown. My uncle stayed in the program I was meant to be in, and a few years after I dropped out he graduated. Recently I had the thought to look up his thesis novella, and as I searched I found myself regretting my decision to leave school. If I stayed and got to develop my writing in an actual class, with other writers and a knowledgeable professor, how much further along would I be than where I am right now?

It was bad. His novella was terrible. It was so bad I had a small existential crisis for, like, three days. He spent so much money on years and years of professional education and came out with a truly soulless story that read as if you prompted an AI to write the next Great American Novel. So if you think you need a writing degree to be a legitimate author, it could help connections-wise, but it ultimately won't be the thing that does the work for you.

Not all advice I see online on writing is bad. I find the people who are able to capture the "I" statements of therapy and phrase advice as things that have worked for them, or things that they personally enjoy, to be fine. Some writing advice can spark inspiration.

But if someone is the type of person to boil every story down to troupes and cliches, and then immediately say that every story that uses the trait they don't like is automatically bad for everyone? I'm dropping the kindness for a second - that's trash. That's a trash take and I see far too many writers use it as a reason to stop before they begin.

I don't like whump. I say my reasons in previous posts if you go back through my blog. But you will never hear me say that any story with whump in it is bad, because I don't know that. You might prove me wrong. I am an adult human being and I have the humility to admit that I can like something I didn't expect to. I genuinely enjoy the direction of The Human Centipede (only the first one) and if you cringed just now that probably means you haven't seen it.

There are so many types of books and movies and plays and comics out there. To enjoy a specific genre is fine, to ignore the existence of everything else is a really, really, really odd thing to do. Maybe someone will hate your story because they think everything should be Neil Gaiman, and therefore have no way to understand your epistolary high-Western. You are not the wrong end of that situation just for existing.

And at there is a definite threshold on how many writing tips you can gather before they stop being useful. If you find them interesting, that's one thing. That's fine. But if the culture of creativity online has made you feel like you need to educate yourself on every possible angle before you can write a story, you are actively harming yourself.

Imagine taking the level of structure you put on yourself in that way and putting it on children playing pretend in the backyard. Oh, Susie, don't you know that it's overdone for your Kitsune have dead parents? Xyler, shouldn't you ask someone else before you decide how Spiderman would react to this? It would make no sense and they do not need it. Kids will make a whole world out of nothing and it's the most fucked thing in my heart that at some point they get access to Reddit and dipshits start insisting that's wrong.

They aren't wrong and you aren't either. Your favorite creative influencer can't tell you your story, strangers on the internet can't tell you your story, your teachers and loved ones can't tell you your story. They can influence it, but they can't write it honestly the way you can.

You do that. That's the thing you do.

Man that makes me upset. I can't tell you how to make a story, either. If anyone sends me asks for writing advice the most I'll do is say what I've done before hopping into your DMs and starting a direct conversation. it's so personal to each individual artist, and I'd like to think that the people selling these classes and software and promoting these platforms haven't thought about that before. Otherwise it does feel manipulative. If you have a willingness to practice and imagine and really experiment with the possibilities, you are ready to write your story.

And if it doesn't work? Try again. That's what you do.

Stephen King has written roughly a thousand books and maybe five of them have decent endings. He is unimaginably successful.

I'm rambling now. I think I got that out of my system. I was really worried to say this out of fear of being too weird or somehow reverse-gatekeeping so hard that it circles back into also being a bad thing. I've just spoken to a lot of people who I still think of throughout my day, and I truly ache for them to get past the fear of creation. Because it's worth it. It's worth it and it's fun, even when it's messy and you're tired.

Let it Be just came on. Beatles. I haven't listened to The Beatles in a long time. Feels a little apropos.

I love you, reader. Reader, Writer, Colleague. Take care of yourself. Especially the little you, still sitting there in the backyard of your soul, bathing in the sun with their bare feet in the damp earth.

Consider joining them, maybe.

[penvisions]

garnish {chapter 10}

Pairing: Chef! Joel Miller x Bartender! Reader

Summary: Time doesn't heal all wounds, but it does make the heart grow fonder. You find yourself missing Joel, too stubborn to reach out but Ellie is tired of seeing you both pinning as she navigates classes with you and her homelife with Joel now that she's back in the city.

Word Count: 3.8k

Warnings: canon typical language, reader is a dumb dumb, reader is stubborn and heartbroken, mentions of reader's past, trauma, complicated family dynamics, stressful family dynamics, reader mourns her past relationship with father, verbal abuse (past tense), ellie being a scheming lil shit, language, sexual content, references to sexual relations (past tense), smoking, cigarettes, nicotine, drinking, consumption of alcohol, melancholia, manic depressive internal monologue

A/N: WE DID IT, we made it to the end!! i've never finished a fic before so this is all so exciting and a little terrifying, to be honest. i hope hope hope that i've done this lil au justice, with it growing a mind and story line of its own i never even planned for somewhere around chapter five. but we did it and i am proud of this lil one and maybe self-indulged a lot with my own birthday on the 17th! please tell me your thoughts!! a HUGE thank you to everyone that interacted with this. y'all made this possible by engaging with me and inspiring me to continue on even when my own brain was working against me ♡

i would love to take prompts for these two dummies to expand their universe and story in the future if anyone is interested? but i'm still getting used to having what little attention my fics are getting and i dunno if that would be something people are interested in ♡

ao3 link || series masterlist || main masterlist || ko-fi

“Well, you certainly have the enthusiasm, Ellie.” A smile passed over the desk, fingers curled over her application and subsequent documentation. She had already graduated from her Boston school at the end of the previous spring semester, already set up to TA for a favorite professor of hers in the new year after a successful first year of doing so for another. But she had a pending application for a secondary degree. One here in Austin. 

Her life laid out in front of you once she had begun school, having applied and gotten into an art program in England right out of high school, something she had gushed about excitedly for a few moments when you asked her about it. Sure, you had talked about it in passing over shared meals both in the comforting environment of father’s home and while out getting coffee that had developed as a regular occurrence any time she was in town.

She was only four years younger than you, both her and Sarah. So driven and excited about this time in their lives. Sarah having relocated to work for a company that fought for her attention and hire after a phenomenal performance in communications and social work out in California. Both supported and shown love in a way that used to make anger and jealousy flair up in you, but that you now saw as a blessing for those who had that kind of nurturing environment to flourish in.

“I just…the perspective of art and language of art you’re trying to explore is really fuckin’ interesting. I know it doesn’t necessarily fall in line with my focus of studies, but-“

“Classes that interest you are just as important as those that help along your degree.”

“And dad said that I could go for it, said if it’s what I want, he’ll help me in any way he can.”

“Ellie, it would be a pleasure to have you take part in the program. There is a two semester commitment, I will remind you. And the application you submitted for Austin is still pending. But if you’re on board, I can sign my approval and walk it over to the admissions office when we’re done here.”

“I was…actually going to see if you could give me a ride back to the house…dad was in a hurry when my car wouldn’t start, and I left my keys with him so he could take a look at it.”

“Oh,” Your bottom lip was between your teeth, nervousness taking ahold of you. “Um, well-“

“I totally understand not wanting to, but I would feel better going with you than taking a bus or somethin’.”

“It’s okay, I can. But let’s walk this over to admissions and see what we can get in the way of aid first, yeah?”

“Fuck yeah, thank you so much!”

Your class sessions were at nine and lasted for two hours every Tuesday and Thursday. Not wanting to over log the students with a long block of class time on top of all the reading you did end up requiring of them in order to participate in the discussions. Only two days a week to allow for some leeway with the readings on top of the other responsibilities you were all to familiar with. You had explained to Ellie once her application had been switched over from pending to accepted.

You did miss the social aspect of working at the restaurant, the different foods and drinks you could try on a whim, the ability to get as much or as little human interaction as you wanted. But…you had made a choice to leave it behind. For good. Focusing finally on the things that you wanted to do for the rest of your life and a plethora of memories and stories of a time now past.

And Joel….you missed Joel.

But you were stubborn, sure that the man wanted to wash his hands of you after never getting a response.

Ellie was banging her head along to the tape that had been stuck in the trucks deck for years now. An old one from your childhood, one of the only things you father had intentionally gifted you. His love of music something you shared despite the rift and space created between you both. Your birthday up until you moved resulting in a gift card to the local record shop and a few tapes or CDs he wanted to share with you.

The younger girl belted out the lyrics, the loose strands of her hair whipping around from the cracked windows. You sang along with her, though not as loud, indulging her despite the ache that had settled in your bones. Having overthought yourself into a weird mood before class.

Suddenly the music faltered before the warbling completely as the ribbon inside began to loosen from the spool and hang out from the deck.

“Shit, that’s not good.” Ellie lamented as she reached forward to push the play button in to pause the music. She hit the ejection button and carefully pulled the tape from the mouth of the player. Her charcoal stained fingers spinning the spools one at a time to wind the ribbon back where it should be. A few moments later and she was reloading it and pushing play but the speakers only crackled before the tape ejected itself.

“Damn, it died.”

You didn’t say anything, thoughts a whirlwind as you panicked over loosing the last tangible connection you had with your estranged father. If she picked up on your tense silence, Ellie didn’t comment on it, leaving the tape hang half out the deck and moving to use the radio for the remainder of the ride.  

The house looked the same, Joel’s house, nestled to the side of a small cul-de-sac. The neighborhood calm and quiet in the early afternoon.

The graying curls you would recognize anywhere peaked from where Ellie’s care was being inspected by Joel laid out on a roller underneath the carriage. The hood was propped open and a giant tool storage cabinet had been wheeled closer to the opening of the garage. She bounded up to him, talking too fast for you to make anything out from the curb.

But Joel must’ve been able to decipher at least some of it because his gaze turned to you, oil staining one of his cheeks and his chest puffing up with a deep breath.

You felt your own breath catch low in your throat, a lump of air making it hard to breathe.

You drove off with your heart hammering in your chest.

It was now February, the dreaded holiday of the month approaching and your birthday right along with it. A shame, that such a day overshadowed any plans you had once made. The holiday taking precedent with prefix menus that brought in generous tips from happy couples and friends. But this year, this year you could do whatever you wanted.

Stay in, go out, order takeaway, drown yourself in fancy truffles. Whatever you wanted. But the weight in your heart didn’t have you all too keen for the day to arrive. Wondering what Joel had decided for his special menu, the drinks Millie worked with Mary on to pair alongside it. Maybe….maybe you could snag a seat at the bar and indulge?

You let the thoughts trail off and focused on grading the papers in front of you. Needing to get them done before your attention was pulled by a movie night with your friends.

You were up at exactly one minute before the clock stuck midnight. Bleary eyes watching the progression of the last sixty seconds before it was officially your birthday. Your phone buzzed with two texts immediately, all camps too much to handle in the early hour. Turning it to silent mode, you turned over and listened to the faint sounds of Sweet Pea playing with a bell down in the living room, hoping sleep would come back to you.

Waking up for a second time was a whirlwind, snooze allowing for you to sleep in until the absolute last minute before you had to get up. Shoving the tube of fabric that was a simple, off the shoulder dress over your head and fluffing up your hair with dry shampoo and you were out the door and headed to the campus.

“Alright, everyone, since I’m feelin’ a little generous today!” You clapped your hands once, noticing Ellie slink in at the last minute before you typically announced the beginning of class. “I’m gonna play a documentary for today- but!”

You interrupted the happy chuckles from the group of about thirty or so individuals you had interviewed and approved for your program. “I will need a paper on the methods used to help identify the remains and artifacts, with your general interpretation of the cultural basis hypothesized from them due next class!”

“Professor, c’mon. It’s my birthday, it’s your birthday: let’s all just take it easy.”

A chorus of, “Is it really your birthday?! Why didn’t you tell us!” rang out across the room. Certain individuals looking genuinely upset that they had missed out on a chance to let you know how much they appreciated you and liked you. It made the ache in your heart lighten just a bit, weird mood about the day waning slightly in their unabashed openness. Ellie was oddly silent, normally one to engage loudly and enthusiastically, her phone in her hand, fingers a blur as she fiddled with it.

“If you really want to do something for me, please, concentrate on the documentary!” You turned your back to the class, booting up the video on your laptop and tugging down the projector screen that was closed and stored up above the whiteboard. Turning the lights off, save for one in the back for them to take notes with, you pressed play and offered one last tidbit before the opening credits rolled, “But it doesn’t hurt to bring a gift card for any local coffee shops.”

“Need a ride today, Ellie?” You asked the lingering girl, slow to pack her bag up once the class had ended and hesitant to disembark from the campus altogether. Her car was in the shop, something needing repair that was beyond Joel’s skill set. As well as a new set of tires they were waiting on to get delivered before installing them. The ones she had for the more intense weather seasons of Boston worn down over the years and needed replacing. You didn’t mind totting the younger girl around, offering her help with proof reading papers and going over terms that didn’t easily stick. Talking about nothing in particular, though Joel had been diligently inside the house or away each time you dropped her off at home, no more awkward glances since your little display of speeding off the first time.

“Was gonna offer to get you a coffee,” She wouldn’t look directly at you, setting you on edge. You were about to ask her if everything was okay when she suddenly swung her bag on her shoulder and faced you. “I’m helping at the restaurant today, assumed you wouldn’t be cool with dropping me off there.”

An hour later, you were both loaded in the car with too expensive coffee drinks and pulling up to the front of the restaurant. You didn’t want to test if you had clearance to park in the employee lot, not sure what would hurt more. The denial of your code beeping or the approval of your code chirping and opening the gate. Sighing, you put shifted into park and let the engine idle.

Ellie seamed to be taking her sweet time once again. Moving slow to collect her things, having hesitantly showed you the project she was working on for one of her art courses. The bell above the front entrance sounded as the door opened and your head snapped up to see Joel walk through it. He paused, holding the door open beside him as he gave a small wave to Ellie and a somber nod to you.

Yous lips lifted at the corners as you noticed the stain of what had to be beets on his otherwise pristine apron, the white of it displaying the dark red in a disturbing way. His other hand was behind his back, shrouded in the shadows of the interior. He shared a hushed work with Ellie as she finally exited the truck and slinked past him with a last wave toward you.

But Joel didn’t follow her inside.

He stepped outside completely. The door closing behind him with a soft thump.

He was walking toward the truck, the passenger window down all the way as Ellie relished in the fresh air before knowing she wouldn’t leave until well past midnight after the rush of the holiday. 

Your fingers dug into the skin of your thighs, dress having ridden up during the drive to expose the tops of them. The sun warm on them as your nails made crescent shapes in their softness, making your anxiety for the world to see. You were otherwise frozen, unsure of what to say, how to talk. He looked so good. Longer hair slicked back, sliver glinting in the sunlight at his temples and in the scruff of his face. A vaguely heart shaped patch where it didn’t grow in too tempting of a sight as you recalled the way it felt to pepper kisses there.

Joel’s eyes flickered down to your mouth as your tongue swiped out to wet your suddenly dry bottom one, his hidden hand finally shifting from behind his back.

You couldn’t help the little gasp that pushed from your chest as a boquet of flowers was revealed to be in his grip.

The colors of it shades of orange, gold, and yellow. A mix of chrysanthemums, sunflowers, and peonies all wrapped in a delicate tissue paper with a white ribbon holding it all together. In the middle of the front of it, there was something shiny.

“Thought it was an emergency, when she started blowing up my phone a few hours ago.” He finally spoke, stepping off the curb and up to the passenger side of the car. He extended the bouquet to you, hiding his face from you for a moment. You were able to make out the shiny thing in the middle.

It was a copy of the tape that had died the first time you had given Ellie a ride home. The one you couldn’t find anywhere online. The one you had almost just ordered a CD or digital version of. The one you had almost reached out to your father to ask about. It was impossible to find, to replace. But it was there, in the middle of a beautiful arrangement of flowers.

A sob suddenly wracked through your body, hands coming up to cup your chin and hold any others in as fat tears fell hot from your eyes.

“Oh no, no – this – this was supposed t’make you smile, darlin’, not burst into tears.” Joel quickly lowered it, moving it out of view of the windows frame and pulling it back behind him. “I’m so sorry, I – I was just trying to do somethin’ nice for ya on your special day.”

You hiccupped as you reached out a hand in a weak wave, wiping at your cheeks with the other.

“No, Joel, it’s…it’s really sweet of you to do this. I just…I don’t deserve it.”

“Of course you do, you deserve everythin’, darlin’.” He reached through the open window and gently placed the bouquet down on the passenger seat. Molasses eyes catching yours as he offered you a weak smile and a nervous display of his fingers slinking his hair back. “Just wanted to do somethin’ for you today. I didn’t know last year and well, this year I do.”

“Joel…”

“Don’t need anything from you, really. They’re for you and that’s that.” He shuffled on his feet, watching as the breeze ruffled your loose hair and the fabric of your dress, sleeves flowing in the wind, the shine of your necklace in the sunshine.

“Thank you, really. I- I appreciate it.” You reached over to tug the cassette from its secure spot. Turning it over in your hands, taking in the scratches on the plastic of the case. The memory of looking over the massive collection he had displayed in one of the guest rooms, the small shelving unit he had made himself to store all the tapes he had previously kept in boxes in the garage. “Joel, this is from your collection, I can’t-“

“You can ‘n I wanted to. Ellie told me yours got ate and I don’t listen to the tapes much these days, just the vinyl.”

Voice gone and heart beating fast, you nodded. Feeling the urge to lean over and pull him into the truck to drive around for hours and listen to the reverent offering in your hands. But he had a holiday menu to get back to and you had a new recipe to try out. Each on their own and in different worlds.

He patted the window sill twice with a wide palm before he was turning away and disappearing back inside. You watched him go, heart urging you to call out to him while your mind told you it wouldn’t ever be that simple again.

Friends had come and gone, sharing dinner and gifts with you. Crappy movies and good liquor, laughs abundant and feelings so alive. The kind of day that reminded you that you were alive and well. The kind of day that made everything else worth it, small moments tiding you over until you could feel like full and bright again.

You stared at the flowers until the alcohol in your system blurred them, the colors running together and dimming as sleep pulled you under in the late hour. The tape playing through to the end before the machine finally shut off, blanketing you in your passed out state.

You would stare at them, as if they were pulling your attention every time you were in the kitchen or the living room. Choosing to hide away in your office or upstairs when you were home where they were out of site. When they began to wilt and dry up, you moved them to the back patio, not able to through them out but not able to reach out to the man who had gifted them to you.  

Finally removing them from the vase and cleaning it out. You bagged them up and left them on the counter to deal with after class. One that went by in the blink of an eye, almost like the day was rushing toward something. Rushing you toward something. The slow thrum of…something deep in your bones as you engaged in the discussion, leading it back to the focal point if it got too off tangent.

The routine of giving Ellie a ride one that hadn’t been prevalent lately since her car had been fixed and the end of the semester rolled around. But today it seemed to be one of the things that time was ushering you toward. Driving Ellie home with post class treat of milkshakes this time, the weather beginning to inch toward the dry heat that was prevalent most of the year.

“Thanks again! See you Thursday, professor!” Ellie hollered over her shoulder as she all but tore out your truck and ran towards the front door. By passing the scene of Joel stood in the driveway, garage open behind him once again.

“I better! You have a final!” You hollered after her, no real malice in your voice.  

She whizzed past Joel who was stood at the front of her car, hood open and engine block exposed to his perplexed expression. His hands were on his hips, a wrench in one and a screwdriver in the other. He was looking down into the exposed parts with a look you couldn’t quite read from the curb but when he spotted Ellie he called after her.

“Babygirl, I don’t see anything wrong with it. You said it was making a rattling sound, yeah?”

“Oh, yeah! A rattling sound.”

“From…where, exactly?” He turned a furrowed brow to her but she was determined to get away from his prying gaze, scurrying off without any more words. Her bag thumping against her shoulders as she rushed toward the door.

You had been so focused on watching her nearly trip over the steps leading to the front door that you didn’t notice Joel rise from his spot tinkering with something on her car and approach the side of yours.

“Hey there,” His cautious voice greeted you too close through the open window.

“Oh jesus, fuck! Joel don’t do that!” You startled so bad the seatbelt locked up and tightened around you, preventing you from taking a deep breath to calm yourself.

“Shit, sorry. Thought you saw me comin’ over.” A sheepish rub of his hand along the back of his neck, had your eyes roaming over the picture he made in the frame of the open window. Perfectly fitted, as if he should be on the inside of the truck beside you instead of standing outside of it. Close, but not close enough.

Quiet fell over the both of you, Joel looking into the cab of the truck, grease and oil marring his beautiful skin and white t-shirt and you gazing just to the right of him, not able to directly do so now that his attention was focused. The words shared between you both, all of the good, all of the bad, and all of the confusing floating in the heavy air between two people who had lived far too much in such a short amount of time. Echoes of everything passing in the charged air between you both.

Your name being uttered had your eyes glancing at his, the sun lighting them up into a bright hue and your heart fluttered in your chest. You held his gaze for a few seconds, heat creeping up your neck from the pulse of warmth that only he could cause filling your chest.

“Alright, well…thanks for bringing Ellie home.” He reached a handout to pat the side of the truck before shoving away.

“Hey, Joel, wait…” You leaned over, hoping that the words in your throat didn’t get stuck. When he turned quickly back to you, there was a hopeful pinch to his features, lips pursed as he waited with bated breath for you to continue. Taking a deep breath, you locked eyes with him again, keeping up the connection. The hope that glinted in them helped the words to flow from you in a quick push.

“Do, um, do you want to grab a coffee sometime?”

previous chapter || end

taglist: @hiddenbabynyc @jessthebaker @clevergirl74 @anavatazes @samiamproductions @76bookworm76 @tuquoquebrute @sarap-77

dividers by the lovely @saradika-graphics

[yuzurins]

# to tell you the truth

04 — strangers with memories

smau masterlist ∗ previous chapter ∗ next chapter

was it foolish for you to assume that you wouldn’t encounter anyone you knew while working at a bookstore less than a kilometre away from your university? 

probably.

be it anyone else, you most definitely wouldn’t have reacted this dramatically. but of course it had to be itoshi rin, coincidentally the one guy you wanted to avoid at all costs. you haven't seen the guy in person since high school graduation, and this was definitely not how you expected it to go.

when you first realized it was him back at the bookstore, you quickly bowed and turned around to pack up your belongings, hoping he got the message. it irked you to even spare a single glance at his face, as his features dug up memories that you worked too hard to bury. knowing rin, you expected him to leave immediately after to avoid interacting with you, but to your surprise, the athlete walked over expressionless and casually placed 2 books down.

“these two," he pauses and inhales, "please.”

you held back a very strong urge to gasp; never in a million years would you have ever believed that the itoshi rin would ever say that 6 letter word to you. what was this guy up to? was he trying to deploy reverse psychology or something?

“okay.” you pursed your lips, and scanned his books. “are you signed up for our membership program?”

he merely nods.

you raise an eyebrow. so it isn’t his first time here?

as he punches in his phone number, you take the moment to examine his figure out of curiosity, though not much as changed about him since high school. you do notice that his eyes seem half-lidded, and you hate it so much how the first thought that comes to mind is the fact that it’s past his regular bedtime. 

"what are you even doing here..." you mumble subconsciously a little too loudly, widening your eyes immediately after as if you had asked yourself that question. (though it wasn't really a question and more of a complaint)

rin scoffs, breaking his stupid act. "buying books? obviously?"

"did you have to come to this store?" the receipt starts coming out and you place it in a bag with the books, handing it over to him reluctantly after. "and this late too?"

he snatches the bag from you with more force than needed. "why does it matter to you? shouldn't you be grateful i'm even giving you business?"

"gee. wow. thanks."

"you better be."

you roll your eyes at him. "thought you still slept at 8 like an old person.”

"thought you were smarter than to assume nothing's changed." rin furrows his brows, narrowing his eyes at you.

shrugging, you rest your head on the back of your palm and stare at him. "i just thought you still had no life. and i'm not wrong about that, am i?"

he grits his teeth and you find yourself smirking at his exasperation, until he says, "at least what i do with my life gets me results, miss second place."

he did not just say that.

you retract your arm from the desk to cross them, a scowl adorning your face. "watch your words, itoshi. you better savour that moment as much as you can because it's not happening again."

rin smiles sarcastically before turning around and leaving. you scoff, but it isn’t until you hear the bell of the door ring that you feel safe enough to exhale. there was no way that that just happened right now. you were so focused on not trying not embarrass yourself in front of rin that it slipped your mind what books he bought, but it didn’t matter anyway. why did you even care if you embarrassed yourself in front of him? every memory about what happened then has been locked away, and you swear that you wouldn't hold a childish grudge anymore. the only reason why you still act bitter to him is because he suddenly keeps scoring higher than you, and your pride refuses to back down to him.

rin’s just an annoying guy who just keeps getting lucky in school, that’s all. 

a notification from reo brings you back to reality, reminding you that you’re technically working overtime now and you need to close up as soon as possible. 

as you walk out of the door, you fish out your phone and respond to incoming texts from the groupchat, humming to yourself as music played in your ears. the route home is more than familiar enough to you, but you still take a glance at the area around the bookstore just in case. there’s a park, a ramen store, an aesthetic cafe, and a convenience store that someone dressed in all black is exiting. that’s unusual, you think, because it’s late, and this neighbourhood is fairly secluded.

then you remember who was just at your store and would be in the proximity of the area. 

hurriedly, you turn around and speedwalk in the direction of your apartment. he shouldn’t have seen you, right?

there’s a slight rustling of leaves and you warily steal a quick glance behind you without thinking.

why on earth is itoshi rin walking behind you now?

notes: hi sorry it’s late i fg LOL n e ways i don't like this !!! but writer block is killing me and i need to write something so bear with this t-t you get the idea anyways (barely proof but its ok)

pairing ∗ itoshi rin x f!reader

synopsis — all you wanted was a peaceful and productive uni life, but despite your pleas, your plans start crumbling when the star of the football team, itoshi rin, begins to beat you in every aspect possible. as you confront the inevitable, what happens when you uncover secrets behind an unforgettable event from the past?

taglist ∗ send an ask / comment to be added or removed

@kitorin @starthz @jleijl @rintosei @strawberrypockybox @beanxiv @ode2rin @h4nman @hanmastattoos @kaitfae @idk-bro-gay @piichuu @wishiknewwhatiwasdoingwithmylife @invictax @chaosinanutshell @exatse @kirameki-kumo @heartsoji @mellozhi @certaindreampost @limerence-lu @nutsinspector @kawaii-angelanne @rroxii @saesins @anngelllla @anurst @y-sabell-a @hellothere9597 @evilenchantresss @msameikanevaeh (if your name is in bold it means i can't tag you)

[jungshookz]

jimin's kind of a dickhead & y/n is very close to losing it

➺ pairing; park jimin x reader // dickhead!jimin x TA!y/n 

➺ genre; clearly i’m in my university!au era (can u blame me)!! honk honk humour!! do i smell enemies to lovers?? clichés clichés clichés but who around here isn’t a sucker for a good cliché!! let me indulge!!

➺ wordcount; 3.5k

➺ summary; y/n’s a teaching assistant for the summer semester’s english class and she thinks she’d have a much more pleasant time if one of the students wasn’t an obnoxiously-huge-sunglasses-wearing-comes-to-class-fashionably-late park jimin.  

➺ what to expect;  “you look way too young to be an actual TA. or at least a TA who knows what they’re doing.” 

➺ currently spinning on the record player; popular (with playboy carti & madonna) — the weeknd

»»————- 📚 ————-««

you’re not sure if you’ve ever been this nervous for something before. 

it’s not that you don’t know how to speak in front of a large crowd or you have stage fright or something like that, but after working your way up and finally landing the position as a TA for your english professor, the fact that you have to speak in front of a big group of students close to your age and have them actually respect you didn’t hit you up until now, ten minutes before class starts

and you feel like you’re about to simultaneously piss your pants and shit a brick at the same time. 

you spent nearly forty minutes this morning picking out an outfit because you wanted to wear something that said “i’m professional, but i’m still cool and casual and you can talk to me about anything BUT there’s still a line that you can’t cross with me because i’m the TA and i’m not just one of you guys even though i kind of am one of you guys” and to be honest, there wasn’t a lot in your closet that screamed specifically that 

you ended up going with a pair of bootcut jeans and a tank top with a light cardigan over top: professional, but still approachable… at least, you hope that’s the vibe you give off. 

“okay, y/n…” you mutter, looking at your reflection in your little compact mirror to make sure your eyeliner isn’t smudging and there are no remnants of your breakfast croissant in your teeth, “‘hi everyone, i’m y/n, i graduated last year but i’m in my first year at our school’s grad program… really excited to get to know everyone this semester! promise i’ll take it easy on you when i’m grading your papers…’” you recite neatly, nodding to yourself in content

that’s a good way to introduce yourself, right? 

it’s lighthearted but you’re still reminding all the students that they have to be on their best behaviour and they should be handing in their best work 

“god.” you snap your compact shut and slip it back into your purse, leaning back against the wall and reaching up to adjust your glasses 

…but what if they think you’re trying too hard to get them to like you? 

this feels like you’re about to go out on a first date with eighty people all at the same time 

and now that you think about it, you don’t feel like you’re going to shit a brick — you feel like you’re about to shit out an entire house. 

“good morning, y/n!”

“professor kim! good morning!” you stand up from the bench when professor kim walks in through the doors, offering him warm smile and straightening your posture a little, “i got here earlier than i’d expected and i wasn’t sure where to go so i thought i’d just meet you at your office, sorry about that…”

professor kim seokjin had been your english professor from second year up to when you graduated, and after you told him that you were planning on continuing your studies and that you’d been accepted into your school’s graduate program, he made the generous offer to take you under his wing as his TA for the summer semester 

you took the opportunity, of course, not just because becoming a TA would look really good on your resume, but also because you genuinely enjoy professor kim’s company and his classes are never boring (and it certainly doesn’t hurt that kim seokjin is very nice to look at) 

and to be honest, you didn’t have much planned for the summer in the first place so it’d be good to make a little money and get some teaching experience 

“what are you sorry for? the early bird catches the worm, you know what they say,” he beams, nodding towards the exit, “are you ready for your first official class as my TA?”

“i am!” you lie, forcing a bright smile on your face as you walk alongside him, “i mean- i’m- i’m a little nervous, but i… it should be fun! and summer classes usually aren’t as big of a size as the fall semester classes, so that’s easing my nerves a bit…” 

“don’t worry, you’ll be great! and because this is our first class, you really won’t have to do much. i’m just going over the syllabus and then we’ll move onto a few writing exercises — and you’re right, summer class sizes are much smaller than the ones in the fall semester. there are only 80 students.” professor kim flicks his wrist casually and your eyes widen in surprise

eighty 

eighty students

eighty sets of eyeballs staring right at you 

you weren’t expecting eighty students — maybe, like twenty at the most

it’s summer!!! why the hell are people going to summer school?!

“eighty!” your voice cracks slightly and you clear your throat quickly before letting out a light chuckle, “right! i knew that. eighty.” you adjust your backpack over your shoulder as you trail alongside professor kim, chewing on the inside of your cheek anxiously 

“and all you have to do today is introduce yourself and then walk around the auditorium and tend to any raised hands. honestly, you’re going to be fine. you were a fantastic student and i’m sure you’ll be a fantastic TA.” 

“thank you, professor.” you smile shyly, feeling a little more confident knowing that professor kim thinks you’re going to be a fantastic TA

he’s right

you have nothing to worry about 

you’re going to be great and this summer semester is going to be even better! 

»»————- 📚 ————-««

you can feel your heart thrumming away in your chest as you stand in the corner by the front, keeping a polite smile on your face as the students begin to trickle in and the auditorium starts to fill up 

a few of them smile at you and a few of them don’t, which is what you expected so you’re not taking anything personally 

(of course, there was a group of students who looked at you and then muttered something to each other and looked back at you, but you’re trying not to hyper-fixate on whatever the hell that was) 

((you will hyper-fixate on it in the privacy of your own apartment after class)) 

you have to admit that during your time as an undergraduate student, you usually never really noticed the TA and you were more focused on finding a spot in the auditorium or finding your friends 

so maybe you really don’t need to be as nervous as you are right now! 

you force yourself to stop clicking your pen anxiously before shoving it into the back pocket of your jeans, holding your hands in front of you as you continue to smile and say a few quite hi there’s and hello, hi’s as the students walk past you 

a few more minutes of settling in goes by and you’re not sure what to do as you stand up at the front, occasionally looking over to see what professor kim’s up to 

his back is turned to the students as he busies himself with connecting his laptop to the big screen up front and you would help out but you already offered at the beginning but he said he could handle it so… 

“alright, everyone! welcome to english 405… settle down, please… thank you…” professor kim claps his hands together a few times to get everyone’s attention, the voices from the crowd dying out little by little, “thank you so much for being here! i know summer classes aren’t exactly ideal, but i promise our time together won’t feel like a giant drag in the mud.” he smiles, leaning back against the table as he folds his sleeves up to his elbows, “now, i see a few familiar faces in the crowd because i’ve had you in some of my classes last semester, but for those of you who don’t know me, my name is seokjin. you can call me professor kim or just professor if you’d like. you can’t call me seokjin or jin or man or my G or whatever the hell else you people are calling each other nowadays because i worked far too hard for my PhD for a 20-something year old to think it’s okay to come up to me and call me ‘dawg’.” 

you can’t help but giggle with the class at professor kim’s introduction as you settle into your seat by the front, crossing one leg over the other and leaning back comfortably (you’re reminded that because you’re at the front and can be perceived by people that you should probably sit properly and not like a boiled shrimp) 

“now, to be honest, i don’t have too much planned for our first class together just because it is the first class, so we’ll most likely cover the syllabus, do a few writing exercises to warm up those thinking caps, look over the reading list- that should’ve been emailed to you two weeks before classes started, so if you didn’t get that email, please let me or my lovely TA know-“ professor kim turns towards you with a smile before gesturing to you, “speaking of my lovely TA, would you like to introduce yourself?” 

“i-“ before you get the chance to stand up from your seat, the auditorium doors swing open and smack against the walls, causing you to jolt in surprise and for everyone to turn back and look at who the hell is being so disruptive, “i…” 

whoever he is has a pair of giant sunglasses on as he trots down the steps, clearly not in a rush, an iced americano in one hand and a laptop tucked underneath his armpit 

an oversized black hoodie hangs on his figure along with a pair of ripped jeans, and you can’t help but frown because on one hand, it’s fine to be late if you come in and take a seat in the back quietly (you’ve been late to more than a few lectures because of a missed alarm, but you always try to be as courteous as you can as to not disrupt the class because you’re a decent human being), but practically kicking the door down and then making the auditorium steps your own runway is another thing 

“jimin! so nice of you to join us this morning.” professor kim clears his throat, and you watch as this jimin guy takes a seat right in front of where your seat is off to the side, “i was wondering when you were going to show up.” 

“what, i’m not late, am i?” jimin checks the time on his watch before taking his sunglasses off, leaning over and tossing it onto your seat, “it’s 9:06, prof.” 

“surprised you even showed up at all.” professor kim mutters under his breath before reaching over to gently tap you on the shoulder, “sorry about that- please, go ahead and introduce yourself now that all of us, hopefully, are here.”  

“i, uh- yes, thank you, professor-“ you clear your throat with a polite smile, turning back to face the front even though you find your eyes flickering over to glance at jimin, “i’m y/n and i’m super excited to get to know all of you this semester! i graduated last year but i’m in my first year of our school’s graduate program. and i’ll promise to be nice when i’m grading your papers if you promise that you won’t hand in any bad papers.” you try to bite back the shit-eating grin on your face when that gets a laugh from the audience and you press your lips together (jimin, you notice, hasn’t even cracked a smile), taking a small step back before turning to look at professor kim for your next move 

“yes, y/n will be the one who’ll hand your papers back to you and she’ll be the one who deals with your ‘can you bump my 65 up to a 98’  requests, so please be nice to her…” the class laughs again and you’re reminded of why you loved being in professor kim’s classes so much, because he’s such a charmer! “does anyone have any questions for y/n?” 

“not a question, just an observation-” jimin chimes in, leaning back against the seats as he runs a hand through his hair, “you look way too young to be an actual TA. or at least a TA who knows what they’re doing.” 

“i- well, sorry to disappoint, but i am a TA.” you chuckle lightly, eyes narrowing slightly, “and i can assure you i know what i’m doing.” 

“alright, we’ll see about that.” jimin raises both hands in defence and you can’t help but feel your eye twitch at how much of an asshole he’s being despite literally not knowing you at all 

“by the way, class starts at 9, not 9:06.” you force a smile on your face, “not a question, just an observation.” you hear a couple of ‘oh, shit’s’ and low ‘oooooh’s’ from the crowd and you have to remind yourself to keep it professional because the last thing you want is to look like you’re bullying the students in front of professor kim 

jimin’s jaw ticks as he shifts in his seat, “right, thanks. i’ll keep that in mind.” 

“alright. we’ll see about that.” you shove his own words right back into his face again before turning to look back at the class, your smile softening significantly 

“if there are no other questions or observations for y/n, let’s get started!” professor kim jumps in before anyone else gets the chance to say anything and you can’t help but feel a little bit of relief because one more second and you probably would’ve said something out of pocket like how massive jimin’s sunglasses are and how it makes him look as though one of santa’s elves escaped from the north pole and decided to go all wannabe emo, “now, i hate technology so i’ve printed the syllabuses out which will be handed out to you by y/n…” 

you immediately snap into TA mode, turning around to pick the stack of syllabuses up from the table and cradling them to your chest, splitting them into sections so you can hand them out to the students at the end of the rows for them to hand them down the line 

for the most part, everyone seems very nice and well-behaved, and you get a few compliments on your cardigan or your earrings or your glasses as you continue to hand the papers out (you’re pretty sure it’s because everyone’s trying to get on your good side so that when they beg you to change their grade on a paper you will, but you’re not that easy to bribe) but you find the smile fading on your face as you walk down the steps only to see jimin with an arm raised lazily in the air

the rings on his fingers twinkle slightly under the bright auditorium lights and you can’t help but notice how pretty his hands are

…they would be prettier if he wasn’t such a jackass 

“jimin! how can i help you?” you press your lips together, resisting the urge to pretend like you never saw his arm and just keep walking 

“could i get another one?” jimin asks, raising the copy of the syllabus he has to show you, “the staple on this one is weirdly wonky.” 

“is that so? so sorry about that, i can get you another one if you can just give me a sec…” you decide to play nice considering the fact there’s always a TA evaluation at the end of each semester and you don’t know jimin but he seems like the type to completely rip someone apart in an anonymous evaluation

“i’m guessing you stapled them?”

“i did.” you nod, making your way over to your bag before bending over to dig through it for your spare copies

“hm.” jimin tilts his head slightly as his gaze drops to your ass, “makes sense.”

to be perfectly honest, he couldn’t give less of a shit about the wonky staple on his syllabus 

he just didn’t like that dig you made at him about being six minutes late (six minutes isn’t even that big of a deal, you’re so obviously a teacher’s pet and he hates eager little teacher’s pets) so now he’s made it his mission to make this class a big ol’ nightmare for you for the rest of the semester 

and sure, he can admit that you’re actually pretty attractive and he could see himself hitting on you if he met you at a bar or a club or something, but you’re his TA and you’re a stickler for rules so that kind of kills the vibe

…well, that’s not entirely true

there’s something about you being his TA that’s making his stomach swirl and he can’t really blame himself when his brain conjures up the image of him bending you over your desk as a way to bribe you to give him a higher grade on his papers because he’s certainly not planning on investing a lot of time or effort in this class since it’s just an elective 

jimin shifts in his seat as he watches you crouch down so you can dig into your bag even more, your waist dipping and curving out into your hips quite nicely from this angle 

…

he’s totally going to get you fold for him and convince you to give him a good grade by the end of the semester.

his tongue pokes out to swipe over his bottom lip at the thought of him coming to see you after hours (because of course you’re going to make an exception for him and allow him to see you at any time he wants, he’ll make sure of it) and again, he can’t blame anyone but himself when he can practically hear you moaning for his dick in his head (“what’s that, baby? you gonna bump me up to an eighty or am i gonna have to do a little more convincing?” “e-eighty, i’ll- ah- i’ll bump you up to an eighty, i-i will-“) 

“here you go! a fresh copy for you.” jimin is rudely yanked from his fantasy when you suddenly shove a fresh copy of a syllabus in his face for him to take, “sorry that took me a minute, i have a lot of papers in my bag…”  

“you’re good, y/n.” jimin smiles up at you as he takes the paper from you, “thank you for finding another copy for me. and i’m sorry about that comment i made earlier about you looking too young to be a TA, i was just being a shithead. i’m sure you could tell by the way the prof talked to me that this isn’t my first rodeo.”

you blink rapidly in surprise and almost immediately jimin can tell the wall you had up crumbles away as you give him a genuine smile in return, “oh! no problem at all, thank you for apologizing… i’m- i’m sorry i called you out on being late to class, i just- yeah, didn’t appreciate the comment you made about me-“

“oh, no, i totally get it. i would do the same thing if i were in your shoes. your comebacks were really clever. i would’ve laughed but i didn’t wanna give you the win.” jimin teases with a boyish grin and you find yourself blushing at his compliment 

huh

maybe you were too quick to judge him so quickly 

and even if he hadn’t come to class late and made a dig at you, you can’t deny the fact that the man is absolutely gorgeous 

“alright, well- oh, coming!” you nod, raising your hand slightly to acknowledge one of the students in the back when you see them raise their hand before looking back down at jimin, “lemme know if you need anything.”

“oh, i will. thank you, y/n.” there’s almost a playful glint that flashes in jimin’s eyes and you nod again before heading up the stairs, your heart skipping a beat in your chest 

interesting

very interesting

🎙️ compliment y/n’s regular-sized glasses or make fun of jimin’s giant sunglasses (talk to my characters!) 

📚 why not explore the rest of the library while you're here? (full fics!) 

💫 or perhaps you want something shorter to read? (drabbles and mini series!)

🌟 or something even shorter? (teeny tidbits!) 

[mallgothyamaguchi]

what haikyuu characters would major in at My College™ -karasuno edition!-

it is summer i am not at my institution of learning but i thought this would be fun ! we have some quirky majors and everyone is a double major or has a major and a minor… very rare for someone to just major in one thing lol

daichi - oh he’s definitely political science and political economy and public policy, perhaps on the pre-law track. also would consider public health (haha that’s my major!) major or minor with a focus in public safety or workplace health

sugawara - suga is so psychology major on the education track (we don’t have an education major, but we do have the track and a graduate program)

asahi - unfortunately my school doesn’t have fashion design, however, we do have a large theatre program with a subcategory in stage management, design & technical theatre and i think he’d like the costume design aspect. another area i could see him in is studio art or art history. definitely intertwined with the art department :)

nishinoya - hot take maybe but anthropology and definitely international studies! i think he’d also fight the school to go abroad multiple times

tanaka - might be a different take but i think he’d start out as business administration or finance because he didn’t really know what he wanted to do, but then he took a random sociology course for a credit and fell in love with it, leading to a double major

ennoshita - this man is so obviously biology on the pre-med track, mr. physical therapist

kinoshita - business administration i can feel it in my bones,,, with a sustainability studies minor

narita - another business administration guy, but i would consider adding in finance major or the innovation and entrepreneurship minor

kageyama - ooo i get to have fun with this one! i could totally see him as a media & communications major or a sociology major for the analysis purposes (i think after his volleyball career he’d become a sports journalist or analyst) and for where he ends up in present day, i grant him an italian studies minor

hinata - i get to have fun with hinata too! he’s sooo definitely on the education track (he’s a great teacher), but with particular majors i can see him in international studies or media & communication (more the latter, kind of for the same reasons as kageyama) and a minor in latin american and caribbean studies!

tsukishima - oh this is so easy. double history and accounting major (he wanted something practical mixed in with his passion), and an analytics minor

yamaguchi - my boy! i think he’d take an interdisciplinary approach to mathematics with a focus in business and technology (perhaps a computer science minor?), but there’s also sustainability studies and information systems management incorporated in his degree somehow :)

kiyoko - i’m heading way off from canon, but i totally think she’s on the pre-med track with a biochemistry major looking to pursue a medical leadership certificate or graduate degree. it just feels right to me.

yachi - babygirl is so vibing in the studio arts major, but for practical application she’s also majoring/minoring in media & communications. can’t convince me otherwise that she’s a women and gender studies minor.

this was so much fun!!! i’m definitely going to be expanding upon this universe, since i already have a bunch of ideas lingering in my head. next, i’ll be doing other secondary characters’ majors and minors !

[i-am-grell]

Anime Poll to Ignore my Zoom Class

I have 10 episodes of Fairy Tail season 1 left, so I'm being ambitious and starting the next poll.

If you're new here, I like anime, but sometimes finishing series and starting new series is hard, so I eliminate the decision paralysis by letting Tumblr tell me what to do.

As always, propaganda* (*semi-entertaining rambles) below the poll. You are 100% allowed to reblog and bully your followers to your cause or just gush about how I'd love this series. For other peoples' followers and assorted Tumblr users who stumble onto this poll: you do not have to know me, follow me, like me, or even like or know much about anime to pick a button and give it a press.

Propaganda:

A Note on Long Series - For the superduper long series we all know and love, each poll option will count as roughly a season/arc/however-the-series-is-divided of watch time (give-or-take for any short seasons, but we'll play it by ear there). I will always specify how much I am watching for the particular poll here in the propaganda.

Rambles

Pokemon - I've straight-shot binged Kanto -> Sinnoh in my lifetime. For this poll, I will be watching Season 14 (Black and White) and any movies that fall within that season's timeline.

Sasaki and Miyano: Graduation - Movie night! You'll force me to pay attention to something for like 2 hours because there's no dub (Kellen Goff pls. Pls go beg Crunchyroll). The downside is there would be an immediate poll right after so you'd get poll-spammed yet again.

Horimiya: The Missing Pieces - Romantic shenanigans. Also please tell me I'm not the only one who gets relentless bisexual vibes out of literally every character.

Bungo Stray Dogs - Heeeeey guys. I was talking to someone in my program and long story short, you can vote for this if you want me to make friends! Also, hi, I'm an English Major-

Buddy Daddies - Same for the above; new friend also recs Buddy Daddies. And I'm already very in love with the visual designs of Rei Suwa.

Tokyo Revengers - Wild that time traveling gang wars is on Disney+. That's all I have to say about this really. Y'all seeing this shit?

[fountainpenguin]

Riddle watches New Wish - Post #16

Battle of the Dimmsonian

I want to highlight them specifically. Look at that FOP-style fairy boy! Baby's all grown up!

Jasmine and Winn are so ready to party at the museum sleepover.

Oh, they are SO ready for this (Also).

slifdj, Peri looking ahead, noticing Cosmo and Wanda in disguise, and screaming "MY PARENTS?!?"

What the heck, Fairywinkle-Cosmas? You left your son for 10k years? Why? Look at him; he's got anxiety!!!

Dev: I haven't talked to Hazel since our fight :'( I need to get to her. /apparently doesn't talk to her all day and now it's night and he's trying to scare people with ghosts for no reason

Removing the staff during the sleepover night (after a spooky presentation) seems like something a museum would totally do as a prank.

Peri has been onscreen for like 2 minutes and he's already sad inside.

-> Hey, I think he outgrew his fear of the dark!

Dev, I am begging you to make it clear to the audience what you're doing right now. This is not an apology. This is not close to what you said you were going to do earlier??

-> Confirmation Dev is Peri's first assignment, so my "high school trial run" lore hasn't been disproven yet. I can work with that in 'fic. We'll see if he says he's graduated.

-> I do have a fanfic set-up where he's going to do a trial program as Foop's partner when they're still in Spellementary, but I don't think this disproves that either since that's a very supervised experiment for him (It's their extracurricular).

I don't think I've said it, but I really enjoy the way this art style has been handling the hairstyles. These angles of Peri's swirl are really interesting.

Peri... Don't take this the wrong way, but if you can't handle Dev being mildly needy and pushy, you're not ready for the big leagues.

idk, Peri strikes me as WAY too overconfident. He showed up ready to go a couple episodes ago. This is the first time he's back onscreen, and this immediate crash on his end is just proof to me that his inexperienced little tail doesn't know what he's doing.

Peri is the guy who's super hype for kids because he thinks they'll be cute and fun, but he's unprepared for work and responsibility. I'm getting "Tries to avoid changing diapers and/or feels smug about how little housework he does" vibes.

-> What decade is he designed after? Cosmo was designed with 50s aesthetic and I feel like this is actually on-brand for attitudes during Peri's aesthetic parallel time period. lol.

-> It's not like Poof was doing the hard work of godparenting when he was a baby. This is new for him and probably different than he fondly remembers.

-> I looked it up and apparently suspenders made a comeback in the 1980s. I designed my teen Poof for the late 60s-early 70s (and he's my flower child), but it makes total sense that he'd be a little farther forward in time since Cosmo and Wanda weren't allowed to have kids for the first 10k years of their marriage.

- Yeah, I would look at this man and say he's giving me "macho 1980s breadwinner husband who has a fragile ego regarding his manliness and doesn't do his own laundry" energy. - Please tell me he started dating Goldie and she broke up with him because he's not good with stress and now he's clingy and wants her back; "He lost the pretty girl because he wouldn't pull his weight" would be the funniest possible direction to take their relationship - I might need to write a 'fic about Goldie showing up while Dev is out and she and Peri have a fight where he's groveling and begging and then Dev walks in and he's like "... Oh boy, I can't wait to have a business relationship with this guy."

Peri came to this party like "I grew up with Timmy Turner. My grandma teaches godparenting classes. I even did a trial run with Mrs. Crocker... I know the ropes! :)"

-> His crown did not know the ropes.

Diagnosed "would not take full custody in the divorce."

Peri, I cannot be any clearer that you can't behave this way around a neglected child right after establishing yourself as a trustworthy figure he can rely on. If this plot goes in the direction of Peri throwing in the towel (or snapping at Dev), I'm gonna crack up.

Like, at this point I am 100% expecting Peri to yell at Dev (maybe not this episode, but someday), and that's going to break this kid. I feel like Jorgen might get involved and separate them, unless Peri is desperate to "not have a failure on his record" or something (seeing as he seems embarrassed his parents know he's a godparent.

-> idk what's up with that yet. I'm genuinely confused. Peri, this is your first chance to see your parents since they dipped for 10k years. I can't get a read on your feelings. Are you angry? Did they invite you and you said No? How old were you? Did you grow up with Mama Cosma? Big Daddy? Boarding school? Inquiring minds need to know!

Maybe it's not been 10k years for him? Was he still existing in the slower-moving present day? Maybe Peri embarked on his own 10k-year trip? I'm puzzled.

-> I feeeeeeel like the time travel is a convenient plot device for the purpose of aging him up without jumping us forward to a more destroyed planet, and we're not going to get a straight answer about what happened with him, which is a shame.

Hmm. I suspect we're not going to delve into his backstory, but I'll hold out hope. Why throw that in there if you're not going to discuss it, though?

Did I miss something? Why does Dev think he doesn't need friends when earlier he wanted to talk to Hazel? Huh. I feel like there's a missing scene there. Hazel rejecting his attempt at an apology would've been helpful for me.

For some reason it's funny to me that the Tooth Fairy offered Peri a job, which he turned down. My brain immediately went Peri -> Cosmo is his dad -> Jorgen is Cosmo's distant relative but they refer to each other as cousins -> Tooth Fairy is Jorgen's wife. I wonder if they hung out together sometimes at like, extended family reunions or something.

-> von Strangles are big on family and Cosmo and Wanda kinda dipped out on theirs, so...

-> omfg, Mama Cosma is out there somewhere like that meme of the guy in the chair leaning over way far, head in her hands, because this is the 2nd time she lost her baby for 10k years. Left to get milk (Again).

He's so cute. I'm so glad to see him back in the series; I missed him so much. He's always been a favorite for me, which was largely based on my own 'fics, so it's really cool to see a character I love showing a wider range of personality onscreen.

HAZEL! If you weren't mad at Dev anymore, you should've told him! He's been miserable about you yelling at him without giving him a chance to share his side!!

His tushie cannot read minds!!

Dev is the kid that you want to get in a fight with because he's mean but then he looks at you like this and you're like " :| "

-> I hate that this is likely how Dale looked at Vicky once upon a time. Dev looks so much like his dad and now I'm like. "Yeah, she probably kicked him down the stairs."

Aww, reunion... <3

I really do like their color scheme and vibes. I've always thought Poof was a good blend of his parents (Good blend of smart, clean, and on top of things while also getting into trouble, holding petty grudges, and making bad or dumb decisions). I'm happy to see him and it's cool to see their hair designs and colors together.

I'm glad "Certifiable Super Sitter" wasn't his swan song from the franchise. It's nice to see a deeper take on his character <3

Patty Possums Party Playground

I'm glad they're making an effort to balance Hazel's Dev interactions with Jasmine and Winn. I keep wondering if they'll get sidelined. This episode seems to be about them, though.

Is the animatronic going to be run-down?

Winn is having the TIME of their life.

Cosmo: We're gonna do this without magic! Hazel: Isn't shrinking Wanda magic?

Immediate prediction: the possum mascot has been summoned to party with them and now she isn't going to let them leave. She'll get aggressive if they try.

Oh no, Cosmo just suggested Wanda use her wand to try getting his out of the claw machine. Is she about to blindly follow and stick it in there like when they were swallowed by a bear and Cosmo suggested dipping it in stomach acid to measure how deep it was and it dissolved? And she just... did it?

YES, sdlkfj. Never change, Wanda.

Nobody tell Gary and Betty there's a Smack-a-Mole game here.

The possum's singing a song about how the party never ends. Yeah, I think I called the plot.

-> Oh, I NAILED THAT!

They're so cute:

Hazel: Friendship isn't only about the moments you're together! It's also about holding each other in your hearts when you're apart! :) Dev, abandoned and confused since their fight: Hey. what.

Wanda dunking on friendship is very funny to me.

A Date to Remember

... Is this with Hazel's parents I assume?

-> Okay, maybe! That title card looks like it is. Also, waning crescent AGAIN? Y'know, the moons were so useful for my OG series episode timeline and I think some will have to be non-canon in New Wish.

I like how Cosmo and Wanda push their backs against each other the same way they used to dance. And I really appreciate how we seem to have a consistent floorplan for Hazel's apartment.

-> Okay, I treat "Cosmonopoly" as the first time they met so if I want to canonize New Wish, I have to un-canonize Cosmo's line about the diner being their first meeting spot, but I can't be mad since I pretty much never see anyone use "Cosmonopoly" for that.

Did Hazel just erase her parents' memories. Oh no, now they've never met! ... Are Cosmo and Wanda allowed to do that? It sounds like they just altered true love.

-> Hazel's parents look the same 11+ years ago as today. I'm a bit surprised by that.

CUPID! ... Oh, wow. His design's changed. I don't think I love it, but I guess it's cool they're doing unique shapes in this show since the OG had the same bodies all the time. I'm glad he's still a grump <3

-> Is he a lot older than Cosmo and Wanda? I'm surprised he aged(?) during normal time when they didn't during 10k years of travel? Is he old or just redesigned? Unclear.

I would make another "IS HE ALLOWED TO DO THAT?" joke here [Cupid trying to set Hazel's mom up with someone else] but... I mean, he's literally the only person who's allowed to do that.

egg baby.

It's hilarious that Hazel convinced her dad to listen to her by saying she's psychic. Of course the parascience scientist would go for that.

-> Note to self, he was interested in it at least 11 years ago.

Cosma confirmed to still be Cosmo's surname!

Cupid's bragging that he won because Brewster (sp?) is going to ask out Angela, but she's totally going to turn him down. Get wrecked, fool.

I am OBSESSED with the fact that Cupid knows all the humans' names. That is a man who does his job. Also I love how he keeps nipping at his bottom lip with his silly buck teeth.

-> I don't remember Cupid knowing people's names in the OG series (I don't think he has much opportunity to say them besides on the dating show in his debut) and now I want to see if that's always been his thing.

-> I'm pretty sure I remember Timmy was given an arrow with his name magically engraved on it at the end of "Love Struck Out," so... interesting.

[communistkenobi]

would you be at all willing to talk about your experience of undergrad vs grad school? personally i struggled quite a bit in undergrad but am still always tempted to go back, and i think maybe the narrowed focus of grad school would be a little easier to handle, but i'm not sure if that would actually be the case... & perhaps your experience was something else completely and maybe this is too vague also lol, but i'm very curious about how you felt they were different!

yeah totally! My experience is doing graduate degrees (writing a thesis) in the faculty of social science in Canadian universities, so everything I’m about to say comes from that specific context. Definitely not universal lol

in my experience grad school is a lot more customised than undergrad. You still have required courses, non-course degree milestones (usually you’re required to present your work at conferences, which can get expensive and isn’t always covered by your department, as well as produce summaries of work you’ve done, research proposals, scholarship applications, etc), and standardised expectations, but you have a lot more choice in the courses you take and what topics you focus on. One university I was at was very relaxed about deadlines in grad school (I easily got extensions from profs without needing doctors notes or official accommodations, i was given the ability to redo assignments, etc), and the other was the ecact opposite (treated me like a idiot for needing extra time with work). If you’re doing a thesis project, a lot of your degree is independent work that you do in your own time - this was a huge struggle for me at the end of my masters, and I had to do “martial law” with my graduate friends at the very end, which basically meant us instituting a highly regimented schedule together made up of work sessions and breaks where we would each meet up and work on finishing our thesis (1 hour of work then 15 min break, rince and repeat, do this for four or five sessions a day every day). You are on a time crunch as you only receive funding for so many years, if you get offered funding at all.

your supervisor has a lot of control and influence over you - they are meant to guide you through the research process, develop your project, give you feedback, provide you with appropriate literature, double check your work, and help you get grants / funding. If you get a bad one it can legitimately ruin your life. I have had hilariously bad luck with supervisors (I’ve had to switch supervisors twice due to discrimination and breaches of provincial human rights law - which is not the norm to my understanding lol).

it depends on why you want to go to grad school and what you plan to do after. I want to stay in academia so that’s where most of my advice comes from. Tenure-track positions are incredibly difficult to secure and if you’re serious about staying in the academy you should be publishing your research while you’re still in graduate school, and treat every term paper as a draft of something you’re going to publish. I also have backup jobs I know I can apply for outside of academia if I don’t get any academic offers.

it’s relatively common for students to join a two or four year grad program but take way more time than that to finish. Usually if you get any funding packages, they only cover the official allotted years (in my experience, two for a master’s, four for PhD), meaning that if you need extra time, you could be finishing your degree with no funding and no guaranteed employment. If your supervisor is cool/connected they might have money they can swing your way, but it’s a tenuous and scary way to live if you have no other source of income.

funding usually comes from 1) grants your department gives you (they will tell you if they’re giving you money on your acceptance letter), 2) teaching assistant positions (I was/am required to be a TA, which usually involves grading undergraduate work, running labs, or leading teaching sessions/“tutorials”) and 3) federal scholarships that you are required to apply for. You need to write applications for these scholarships, usually including a research proposal, a CV/resume, a transcript of your grades, and recently, they’ve added a requirement for a diversity statement explaining any minority statuses you have and how that affects your education. TA work has an uneven workload from week to week, and usually most of the work is towards the end of the term when you’re grading final essays/exams, which creates crunch periods where you’re both working on your own coursework and grading undergrad work.

again a lot of this might not apply to your particular discipline or university or country. Usually universities list a lot of this info on their website, which can help you figure out what’s required of you. Grad school is structured like a full time job and it doesn’t pay very well even if you are funded. I lived with my parents for most of my master’s which gave me the financial stability to complete it. It’s not easy and it takes up most of your waking time, and it can leave you in a financially precarious position with a lot of debt. It’s definitely not something I would recommend for fun unless you have a lot of money and time to burn

[official-linguistics-post]

is it hard to get into a grad program if it's been a few years since ur bachelor's. do your professors forget about you and not want to write you letters

I graduated last year and I want to get an advanced degree but I don't think I'm ready right now, plus I'm doing career stuff that's important to me. is grad school a thing I could feasibly do in the future or is it like, if you don't do it pretty quick after you graduate then probably not. and am I supposed to keep in touch with the professors who I want to ask for letters of rec???? what do I say???? I only ever had two locked down, I never even asked my linguistics professor but she's the only other prof I can think of who I could really,,,, possibly ask

idk how much you know about this stuff but

i would definitely touch base with those profs well in advance to make sure they're confident with writing you letters of rec. if they're not, then talk to your contact(s) at prospective programs about what an acceptable alternative might be, like some other professional supervisor writing you a letter. if you go a particularly long time before applying, then some other career contact may even be a preferable recommender, because they'll be more familiar with your current skills!

however, i've never been on the admitting side of admissions, so take this with a grain of salt please! but i guarantee you're not the only person they'll have seen who didn't come directly or quickly from undergrad. plenty of people have entire careers before they go for advanced degrees.

[octuscle]

Could I take DEL 2 suitcase?

Actually, you don't know what you would have expected…. What do you associate with India? Spices? Colorful robes? The gold treasure of a maharajah? You certainly didn't expect a suitcase that heavy. And full of strange boxes and ampoules. All labeled in a language you don't understand at all. What on earth are these letters?

Disappointed, you put the suitcase in the corner. No treasure of gold. So you have to try honest work again. But first you should finish your MBA. Otherwise your parents will cut you off.

While zapping through the TV program, you get stuck on a Bollywood tearjerker in the evening. Hey, you recognize those letters. They are also on the contents of your suitcase. And in fact, after a while, you find the tearjerker not so bad. Some of the actors look really hot.

You fell asleep in front of the TV. When you wake up in the middle of the night, the news from Delhi is on. The morning is already over there. It's getting close to noon. Drowsy, you listen to see if anything is going on. But only the usual reports of government crises and floods. What is wrong with this country. You fall into your bed and fall asleep immediately.

Your alarm clock rings at 06:00. You have to work a bit before going to university. You work in the first level support of a software manufacturer. Annoying customer inquiries. But well paid. And if you're lucky, you'll be hired after graduation. Although, as a Data Scientist you will always find a job. As long as you have your bachelor's degree.

On campus, you'll be drawn outside during your lunch break. The others avoid the heat. But 32 degrees Celsius is not heat for you. You're used to something else. You do a few pull-ups on the horizontal bar. It's time for a proper workout. Tonight you really have to go to the gym.

When you finally get home, you remember the suitcase. Some of the things are not quite legal here. But if you want to reach your goals, you need support. You pick out a protein shake. And take one of the L-carnitine ampoules. Why didn't you clear out the suitcase yesterday? You sort everything neatly into the cupboard and prepare your nutritional supplements for the next day. And you go to bed.

You get up at 3:00 am. Damn the time difference. But as the head of your startup, you have to attend one or the other online meeting in Noida. You hide your long hair, which you are so proud of, under a cap. When the call is over, you go to the gym for an hour. And after that, your hair is washed and groomed. But right after sleeping you can't show it to the public.

Good workout! Now you can show the losers in the lecture hall that they know nothing about data science. They may make fun of your Indian accent. But you are the youngest lecturer the faculty has had. And the only one who teaches in a tank top.