#am i happy with this gifset?? no but i made it and therefore i need to post it | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dingyuxi · 4 years ago

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COMPREHENSIVE GIFFING TUTORIAL (vapoursynth + ps cc 2018) + some tips and tricks on color correction, blending and subtitles

You guys asked for it, so here we are! This is by no means the gold standard to giffing. Rather, this is simply my process and my own preferences. Take it as you will. Additionally since I use a mac some of my controls/panels may look different than what you would see for windows users.

DOWNLOADING YOUR SOURCE

This step is extremely important to the quality of your gifset. If you want high-quality gifs I would recommend giffing sources in 1080p whenever possible (especially if you’re going for larger dimensions). You may get away with 720p for smaller gifs. For kdramas, your go-to source would be dr*maday or torrents. (you can search my faq tag if you’d like to know specifics on finding and downloading torrents).

IMPORTING + PROCESSING YOUR FILES WITH VAPOURSYNTH (VS)

Please note that this tutorial does not cover basic installation and set-up of vs. If you would like to know how to download and set-up vapoursynth (it works for both mac and pc) along with some of it’s basics you can find more information at: https://hackmd.io/@nibreon/vapoursynth-book/%2F%40nibreon%2Fvapoursynth-book

Once you’ve identified what portion of your video you’d like to gif, simply drag your video file into VS. Specify the start time and duration of the clip you’d like to import. Typically you’ll be aiming for ~3-8 second clip depending on how big your gifs will be. I am very lazy when it comes to importing. The less of it I have to do, the better. Therefore, I often import clips that are 10-15 seconds long, sometimes even up to 20 seconds. I wouldn’t recommend going over 15 seconds most of the time though, because this will usually bring you over the 500 frames photoshop allows you to import at once. (when I do go over, I will sometimes import the processed VS file into PS in segments). You can also choose to import the VS output as segments if you want all your gifs on separate canvases. (I'll go into more detail on this later)

Once you’ve imported the clip into VS your screen should roughly look like this once the resizer pops up:

In the top left is where you will be applying your cropping, sharpening and denoising filters. Cropping: Keep in mind the Tumblr dimensions: 540px for full-width gifs and 268px for half size gifs, 177/178/177px for 3 gifs across. The height is completely up to your own preference. Usually I work in 540x300px. Once you edit those parameters you can drag/resize your video file to fit your new canvas. Sharpening + Denoising: You can choose to skip this if you would rather sharpen in ps. I personally do all my cropping, denoising and sharpening in vs. I use finesharp and KNML for sharpening and denoising respectively. Once you select those two filters from their drop down menus, be sure the select the checkbox as well. You should now notice 2 additional lines of code in the top right box. The line that reads: video = core.knlm.KNLMeansCL(video, 0, 6, 4, 1.2, channels="YUV") is where you will adjust your denoising parameters. You will only be adjusting those 4 numbers. I usually use: 0, 1, 0, 1.2. Now find the line that reads: video = hnw.FineSharp(video, sstr=0.22). These are your sharpening parameters. once again we’re only adjusting the number at the end. I typically use somewhere between 0.33-0.55. Depending on the quality of your source and preferences these parameters may change.

Here is a breakdown of the KNML parameters (source: @/nibreon HackMD):

Once you have finalized your parameters, copy all the code in that top right box and paste it into your vapoursynth editor. Note: you can ‘inactivate’ certain lines of code by adding the # symbol at the start the line. That line of code will then be greyed-out. This is what your code should now look like (the highlighted section is the part I just copy and pasted):

If you would like to preview your filters and see if you need to make any adjustments, simply navigate to the top bar and select script > preview. If you like what you see, great! If not, you can adjust the parameters directly in the editor until you see a result you’re happy with. Once you’re happy you can move onto the final step in vs: processing.

Processing: Once again, navigate to the top bar and select script > encode video. Another window should pop up. Make sure you set ‘header’ to ‘Y4M’ then click ‘start’. Patiently wait for that to finish processing. The longer your clip is and the more filters you add, the longer it will take.

IMPORTING YOUR CLIP INTO PHOTOSHOP (PS)

Now you’re done with the vapoursynth section! Not too hard, right? I use the timeline method when I gif. To import your video file into ps navigate to file > import > video frames to layers. Here you can use the sliders to further specify what range you would like to import. Make sure the ‘make frame animation’ box is checked. To optimize smoothness of your gif, avoid checking the ‘limit to every _ frames’ box. Hit ‘OK’ and wait for the frames to import. Depending on the size of your clip, ps may notify you that you are importing a large file and it may take a long time to process, simply say ‘ok’ to this. UNLESS you get a message saying it will limit to 500 frames. This means your clips contained more than 500 frames and you should select a smaller section to avoid cutting out any critical parts. (Note: you can always go back and repeat this process to select a smaller range of frames from the same video clip until you’ve imported all the frames you need).

Timing: You can adjust the timing of your gifs before converting to timeline. Select all the frames (Navigate to the icon with the 4 bars at the bottom right of you screen. Select “select all frames”). Click the drop down next to the timing of any of the frames. Select ‘other’ and input a your preferred timing. I personally use ‘0.04′ but I've seen people use anywhere from 0.4-0.8ms. Also as a note: when you convert your gif to timeline it has a tendency to mess up your timing so even if you input 0.04 or 0.05 it won’t actually be that timing later. If you want the true frame rate you can set your timing right before saving. You can also adjust timing at the end. (see export/saving gif section for more info)

Now the next part can be tedious and for that reason I’ve created numerous actions to speed up this process. But for the sake of this tutorial I will walk you through the steps. At the bottom of your screen is your timeline. As you can see, it defaults to frames, but we want to convert this into a smart object so that all your coloring/edits are made to all of the layers. To do this: 1) Navigate to the icon with the 4 bars at the bottom right of you screen. Select “select all frames” 2) Now select all your layers in your layer panel. On mac you can use cmd + option + A as a shortcut. 3) Back to the icon with the 4 bars, select “convert to video timeline” 4) Right click on all layers (which should still all be selected) and find “convert to smart object”

(Aside: Actions) actions are SUPER helpful to streamlining your giffing process. you can find actions people have made available on resource blogs like itsphotoshop OR you can choose to make your own custom actions. To do this, all you need to do is locate your action panel. Then from the controls at the bottom of the panel select the one that looks like a sheet of paper to “create a new action” Once you’ve named it and hit ‘ok’ the record icon should now be red. PS will now basically ‘record’ whatever you do. To stop recording hit the square icon. Now whenever you want ps to execute the same set of steps you just did, you can locate the action you just made and ‘play’ it by selecting the triangle icon. I highly recommend making an action for the steps I just outlined above to convert your gif into a smart object timeline. It will make your process much faster and more painless.

COLORING

Now the fun part! I focus on emphasizing the colors already present in the video source or getting rid of some less-than desirable overtones when I color. It gives the gif a natural look, but makes everything pop a little more. We will be working with selective color, curves, levels, and brightness/contrast mostly. This is the original gif I will be using to demonstrate coloring:

Curves: I always start with curves. The first curve layer I use to set a desirable black point. To do this, locate the top dropper icon from the curves panel and select the darkest point of your image. This will set that section to “true black” Feel free to play around with this until you find a desirable outcome. Now add another curves layer. This one we will be using to adjust the brightness/contrast. First, I always start off with ‘auto’ and see where that takes me. If you like the outcome, great! If you don’t play around with the different curve points until you get an outcome you like.

Selective Color: This adjustment layer will be your best friend. For me, I will typically work with reds, yellows, and black. If the source has a lot of blue/cyan I will use those too. Basically look at your source and determine which base colors you’d like to emphasize/alter. For blacks I usually up the black by +1-5 depending on the source. For reds, it also depends on the source. But I will typically either decrease cyan (to make red stand out more) or increase cyan (to make the red not look so overexposed). You want to be careful here. Overexposing the red can make your skin tones look like red tomatoes! And for my content base, where most of the actors are of asian descent, we should be emphasizing the yellows and NOT the reds (see aside on color correction + skin tones for more info). After altering the reds to my liking, I do the same process for the yellows. To bring back natural skin tones and color, you will likely want to darken the yellows, expose them a bit more and maybe even up the yellow slider. A common rule of thumb: if you want to make any of the colors less exposed, increase the cyan. If you want to increase exposure on any of the colors, decrease the cyan. If you want a color to appear more strongly or prominently, increase the black. The magentas and yellows I use more to adjust hues. You can add multiple selective color layers to further emphasize your changes.

Levels: Now we will work on the lighting some more. This creates more contrast and depth to your gif, often making them look ‘crisper’ To emphasize the bright parts, move the right-hand slider to the left. The emphasize the dark parts, move the left-hand slider to the right. You may also choose to move the middle slider to adjust more neutral lighting. Do so until you find a setting to your liking.

Miscellaneous: Depending on your gif you may need to play with other adjustment layers. Some other ones I often use are the brightness/contrast and exposure to adjust lighting and add more dimension to the gif. For additional color correction I use color balance and to a lesser extent hue/saturation and vibrance.

(Aside: Color correction + skin tones): We are anti-whitewashing and anti-redwashing when it comes to asian media. Like I mentioned earlier, natural asian skin tones have yellow undertones, not red/pink. Therefore when you’re bringing in color you should be mindful of this delicate balance. Adding more red does NOT equal un-whiteashing. Be VERY careful how you balance the yellows with selective color/hues/color balance.

^^ Here is an example of what I mean by overexposing the reds. Poor seungho is looking as sunburnt as a cherry tomato. Note: if your original source is already overexposed with red, fix it! You can do this by applying the same basic principles I explained earlier. Try upping the cyan on the reds in selective color, or shifting the color balance to favor cyan over red with the color balance adjustment layer. You may also choose to favor the yellow over blue.

^^ Now this is straight-up whitewashing. This is what happens when you are not careful with your correction of yellow. I’m not saying you can’t touch the yellow slider or get rid of some yellow form the overall image (because sometimes it is very much needed), but you should be very mindful how your corrections can affect skin tones. If you decide to decrease saturation of yellows, or decrease yellow in the selective color section of the reds, do so with caution. If your reds are looking too pink, add some yellow in the red selective color, up the yellow and black of the yellow selective color.

^^ If you hit that happy medium, you can emphasize the natural skin tones without overexposure. Here the underlying tones are very much still in the yellow range.

(Aside: Blending): I will very briefly talk about how to blend two gifs together. First make sure you’ve imported both your gifs into ps and converted them into the timeline format. On one of the gifs, right click the gif layer in the layer panel > duplicate layer > select the canvas of the gif you’d like to blend the gif with. On the canvas you just copied your second gif to, you can now drag the two layers around the on the canvas to get your desired positioning. On the top gif apply a layer mask. This can be found in your layers panel at the bottom, and is indicated by the white rectangle with the circle. Next, make sure you select the mask in the layer panel (it will show up as a white rectangle on the layer you applied the mask). Grab your paintbrush tool and make sure your color is set to black. Now you can effectively ‘erase’ the part of the top gif you don’t want to show anymore. I recommend setting your brush hardness to 0% to get a smoother transition. You can also play with the opacity settings. If you want to add back in a part you erased, just switch to a white paintbrush and you will be able to undo what you had just ‘erased’ with the black. When you merge the gifs, they will play the same number of frames. This means your blended gif length is limited by the gif with the fewer number of frames. You can move around your timeline layer and shorten the included portion by dragging either end of the timeline layer in until you get both gifs to play the parts you want.

CAPTIONS/SUBTITLES

I often get asked about my subtitle font/styling settings. Personally I find the best fonts for subtitles are calibri and arial. I use calibri with the following settings: 12-14px, bold italic plus faux bold, 1px black stroke (optional: drop shadow set to ‘multiply’ at around 85% opacity), and tracking (VA) set to 75. If you would like your subtitles to fade-in or fade-out you can apply the ‘fade effect’. Locate the b/w square icon in your timeline panel. Select fade and drag it onto your text layer in your timeline. You can then right click on the wedge shape to adjust your fade duration. I usually use 0.35s. If you drag and drop the effect towards the beginning of your text you can get the fade-in effect. To get the fade-out, simply drag and drop your fade towards the end of your text layer.

SAVING/EXPORTING YOUR GIF

We’ve reached the final stretch! If you need to adjust your frame rate timing: you will need to revert your timeline to frames. To do this: 1) Navigate to the icon of 4 bars at the right of your timeline panel. Select convert frames > flatten frames into clips. 2) Navigate to the icon of 4 bars at the right of your timeline panel. Select convert frames > convert to frame animation > when promoted hit ’ok’. If at this point you see more than one frame in your timeline panel, delete the frames until only one is left. In the example below I would delete the first frame by hitting the trash icon from the timeline panel.

If there is only one frame, leave it as is. 3) Navigate to the icon of 4 bars at the right of your timeline panel. Select ‘make frames from layers’ You will most likely need to delete the first frame in your timeline panel (it won’t have your coloring). Sometimes ps adds in some ‘blank’ frames as well, delete those too. Now you can adjust your timing.

Once your timing is set: When you’re saving your gif, just keep in mind it must be under 10mb. Navigate to file > export > save for web. When it comes to your save settings I typically use either selective diffusion or adaptive diffusion. I also also occasionally use adaptive pattern (I find this is best for dark scenes without a lot of contrast). Set colors to 256, quality to bicubic and looping options to forever. If you want to preview your gif, hit the preview button in the bottom left. Otherwise, go ahead a hit ‘save’ and you’re DONE!

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

Feel free to check out my ‘ps things’ tag for more photoshop stuff/mini tutorials. Additionally @/nibreon and the hackmd site I linked previously are your best resources for vs questions. If you would like to see my giffing process in motion feel free to check out this video. It’s sped up but you can slow down the playback. Additionally be sure to check out resource blogs like itsphotoshop for more helpful tutorials and resources.

If you reached the end of this beast, kudos to you! I hope this helps and never be afraid to reach out with any questions.

#gif tutorial #itsphotoshop #resources #kdramaedit #ps things #m:tut

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imaginejamesandsirius · 4 years ago

Note

Titanic au? I need angst

((A/N: Warning for suicidal ideation in the beginning (in keeping with the movie), and some referenced period-typical homophobia. Also I’ve never seen the movie before so this is based on the synopsis I read and some gifsets. Therefore, scenes are almost certainly out of order. It’s a sort of open ending, so you can imagine it ends like the movie or they both make it out))

Over the course of his admittedly short life, Sirius had come to the conclusion that he was always going to be miserable. His parents didn't like him very much, but that was just the beginning of his issues. Granted, all the other issues stemmed from that, he was sure.

Like this. He was getting on a bloody boat and he hated boats. He didn't even know how to swim-- and sure, no one was going to be getting into this water because it was freezing, but that was beside the point. Or how about the part where he was being forced on this trip to go and meet his fiancé? A fiancé that he'd never met and had zero interest in. Sirius was of the mind that they should've been introduced, at the very least, before getting engaged, but his parents hadn't agreed.

He was on a boat that he didn't want to be on, on his way to an engagement he didn't want to be a part of, and part of a life that he didn't want to live.

They boarded the ship. Time passed. They were having a grand old party. Sirius was standing on the deck in a suit because he was supposed to have attended the party like a good son, but instead of attending, he was looking out on treacherous water. Without really meaning to, he went to the back of the ship and gripped the railing, leaning forward like he was going to pitch over the railing and into the ocean.

If he climbed on the outside of the railing, it would be so easy for him to lose his grip and fall. He'd be lost in the waves and terrified as his will to live suddenly flared, but he didn't know how to swim so it would be a short fight. No one could prove that he'd done it on purpose. He could just... stop existing, here, on this expensive boat where first class tickets had been a small fortune and third class tickets still cost a hefty sum. He'd be able to leave, and no one would be able to stop him. It wasn't like back home, where there would be an investigation and he'd get a big funeral; his body would be as fake in death as he'd been in life. He wouldn't have to marry some random woman that he cared nothing about, and that seemed preferable to him right now.

"Nice view," a deep voice commented.

Sirius jumped in surprise and turned to see who'd snuck up on him. He noticed right away that the man must be on here third class, and he hated himself for it being the first thing he saw.

But it was so obvious.

Not at the party, for one. No suit, for another. His clothes weren't cheap, but they certainly weren't expensive. Economical. Sirius had never owned an economical piece of clothing in his entire life; his parents wouldn't have allowed it.

"Though something tells me that it's not what you were enjoying."

Befuddled, Sirius glanced out at the ocean. "It looks like shite."

The man snorted, then started laughing. "Fair enough. I figured it was a better opening than asking if you were planning to jump, though."

"I wasn't going to jump," Sirius denied automatically.

"Sure you weren't. That's why you chose this part of the ship to stand at, where no one would catch you."

"You caught me,” Sirius couldn’t help but point out. It wasn’t a course of conversation he wanted to follow though, so he said, “Anything else to say now that you've ruined my time alone?"

The man looked at him for a long moment. "Just in case you had been thinking of jumping, I want to tell you that you shouldn't."

"What?"

"If I wake up one day and find out that you've jumped, I'm gonna jump to."

"Are you stupid?" Sirius asked, the words slipping out of his mouth before he could filter them.

"Generally, yes. But people who are suicidal aren't willing to kill other people too, that I've seen. So if you had been thinking about it, I want you to know that it wouldn't be just you that died."

Sirius stared at, dumbfounded. That was... "I wasn't going to jump," he muttered, pushing past him and heading back inside. Joining the party wasn't on the top of the list for things he wanted to do, but it was better than this.

"My name's James," the man called after him, before he got very far.

Sirius paused and turned to look at him.

"This is the part where you tell me your name."

Sirius started walking again. He wasn't going to see this bloke-- James, apparently-- again. Third class was in a completely different section of the ship from first class; he wouldn't have to see him for the rest of the trip.

"What do you do for a living?" Sirius asked.

"I'm an artist," James said, not bothering to ask about the suddenness of the question. It's not like Sirius had built up to it, after all. He had a habit of blurting out whatever he was thinking, no matter how rude it might be-- his parents hated it.

"Like oil paintings?"

James laughed. "That would make me far richer than I am. No, sketches mostly. Watercolours sometimes, but never on a ship," he said with a smirk. "And only a few, at that."

"If that's what you do, how did you afford a ticket?"

"Lottery," James admitted, with no shame. He was so comfortable with himself.

Sirius wondered what it would feel like to be that way. "What do you draw?"

"People. Flowers." James's smile went soft as he looked at Sirius. "Anything I find beautiful," he said, voice low so that no one would overhear.

Sirius's face flamed. No man had ever complimented him before, and he'd certainly never had the courage to do it to them.

"Not clothes though," he added casually, but he still kept his voice quiet. "Never did get the hang of those."

"I'd imagine that makes quite the portfolio," Sirius managed to reply. He cleared his throat. "Did you bring any with you?"

"I did, though I'm not sure how comfortable you would be with some of them."

"Would you describe them as racy?"

"I wouldn't. Some might, by simple virtue of me being a man."

"Despite what you might think of me, I don't think anything you've drawn would scare me away."

"I think a great many things about you, but it's been too short a time to know which ones are accurate."

"Pretty big gamble telling me what you draw, then." Sirius had never told anybody what he liked, after all. Though sometimes, he wondered what it would be like to find someone else like him. What they'd talk about. If they'd kiss, of if they’d just be friends who shared an interest.

"It wasn't a gamble at all," James said.

"You say that rather confidently. Everything's a gamble."

"When you have nothing to lose, I would argue it makes nothing a gamble. Like when I found you on the railing? You remember that?"

"When you said you'd jump if I did?"

James nodded. "It wasn't a gamble. I knew you wouldn't jump."

"Did you?"

"Yes."

Sirius hadn't known that for sure. James's confidence boosted his own, though. Maybe it truly hadn't been a gamble.

James was... alive. It felt stupid to think-- because of course he was alive, they all were, it's the only reason they'd been able to meet-- but he lived and he was happy about it. He took joy in living, and Sirius wasn't used to that. He said so, and James gave him a strange look. "Like... ever? You've never been happy to just exist?"

"I don't know."

"You've at least been happy before, right?"

Of course he had. He just couldn't think of an example.

"When was the last time you enjoyed yourself?" James asked, since it didn't look like any answer was forthcoming for his other question.

"I guess... when Regulus was around."

"Who's Regulus?"

"My brother. He got sick when I was- oh, maybe fourteen? Fifteen? Went in hospital and never came back out. My parents always liked him better," Sirius added without really meaning to. Then his mouth twisted. "I know. Poor little rich boy with his rich boy problems. Other people have it worse."

"I wasn't going to say that. Although it is true that somebody will always have it worse than you. You could be in the middle of getting tortured, and there would still probably be someone who had it worse than you. But that's not the point," James said, shaking himself.

"What's the point?"

"That being rich doesn't make you exempt from having problems. You lost your brother, and it sounds like your parents hate you. All being rich means is that you're not worried about having a place to live or something to eat on top of that. I have that problem sometimes, but you know, I don't even think of it as my big problem. You want to hear my big problem?" James asked with a grin, nudging him.

Sirius chuckled. He never knew how serious James was when he said things like that, but even if it was just a joke, it made him feel better. That was more than anyone else had done for him in a long time. "Sure. What's your big, bad problem?"

"Sometimes, I draw with the wrong pencil."

Sirius stared at him for a moment, but James kept his face straight. Sirius started laughing. "Really? How do you have a wrong pencil? Aren't they all for drawing?"

"Yeah, but there are different types. Some have hard graphite, some have soft."

"And what does that mean for your poor drawings?"

"Well, if I use the wrong pencil, sometimes it'll smear everywhere. Or it can make the subject appear much harsher than they are."

"Truly tragic."

"Isn't it?" James agreed mildly.

"You want to know my big rich people problem?"

"It's not going to be like losing your brother is it?"

"No, this one is definitely ridiculous."

James grinned. "Alright, tell me."

"There's a horribly expensive necklace that I'm supposed to give my fiance when I meet her."

"How horribly expensive?"

"I feel like it's more than the boat cost to make," Sirius said flatly. It might be an exaggeration, but it didn't feel like much of one.

"Sodding hell. That's..."

"Right?"

James nodded numbly.

"What's with all the automobiles?" James asked, looking out at the rows of them.

Sirius snorted, assuming it was a joke. Then he noticed that James looked confused. "Oh, er- they belong to the passengers. That one's ours," he said, pointing at one with gleaming black paint. "Pretty much everyone in first class is bringing their automobile with them." He knew, because it had been part of the ever-so-titillating conversation they'd had at lunch one day. "Some are just here for the ride so they can be sold once we reach land again. I think the crew might be transporting a few for the government."

"Rich people really are living in a different world than me," James said with a chuckle. He grabbed Sirius's hand and they headed down the stairs. As always, James's touch made his heart race. "If you could go anywhere right now, where would you go?"

"My room, since anywhere else would have a high likelihood of housing my parents," Sirius snorted. His parents only went to his room when they were specifically trying to find him.

"No," James said, rolling his eyes. "I meant like, anywhere out in the world."

"We're surrounded by water," he reminded him.

"You're no fun at all. Use your imagination," James said. He let go of Sirius's hand and sat in one of the automobiles at the edge that didn't have doors. He mimed putting a cigar in his mouth and puffed. "Where to, sir?" he asked in a gruff voice meant to imitate a cabbie’s accent.

Sirius laughed and sat in the backseat. He hummed, thinking it over. Imagination... all he'd ever imagined was getting away; he'd never thought about where he would get away to. He leaned forward so his arms were resting on the back bench of the front seats. "To the sky," he said, thinking about the dozens of hours he'd spent looking at clouds and dreaming that he was flying among them, because anything had been better than walking on the dirt.

James glanced at him, grinning. "What's the point when you already have a star?" he asked, dropping the accent.

"Because we'd be there together," Sirius said under his breath.

They were close enough that James heard him. His smile widened tellingly, but he didn't say anything about it.

Sirius's parents were busy and would be for several hours, so Sirius didn't think twice about inviting James to his room so he could finally look at his pictures. Maybe it was silly, but Sirius had spent a lot of time thinking about those drawings and what they would look like. It was pretty much as described: pretty people and pretty things.

The people in his drawings were nude, but it was hardly pornographic. About half of them didn't have a full view of their- ahem, special place because of the way they were posed. Women... and men. There were quite a few of nature and buildings as well, but Sirius couldn't take his eyes off the portraits.

"Who are all of these people?"

"Some were models. Others were just people I met at parties and the like."

"You met people at parties and they volunteered to pose for you?" Sirius asked doubtfully.

"Well," James smirked, "they were French. Very different, that."

"I see," Sirius agreed, also smirking. He flipped through a few more. Was it his imagination, or could he see the love these had been done with? He'd never been a great admirer of art. He'd never understood it; it had never spoken to him. It had all seemed lifeless, but anything James did couldn't be confused as such. A person with that much love and light could never make art that didn't reflect it. Even the buildings he drew were love letters to architecture. "Would you ever draw me?" he asked.

"I don't think it would be the sort of portrait you're wanting."

"What makes you say that?"

"As you can see, and if you recall, I told you that I only do nudes."

"I know."

James looked over at him, hands frozen in place where he'd poised one drawing up to show Sirius.

Sirius met his gaze evenly, even as his cheeks pinked.

James's throat worked. It seemed like he was speechless, and Sirius didn't quite know what to make of that.

"You don't have to if you don't want to," he mumbled after several seconds of silence.

"I didn't say that," James said immediately. "But I don't want you to do something you'd be uncomfortable with."

"Do I look uncomfortable?"

"You might once you're naked." He paused. "Have you ever been naked around someone before?"

"Does the doctor count?"

James raised his eyebrows. "Not even for sex?"

"Saying yes now would be lying on two fronts," Sirius said. To help distract himself from the deepening blush across his cheeks, he reached into his pocket. "This is that necklace I told you about."

James reached out and stabilized the jewel in the center. "It's beautiful."

"I was thinking... maybe I wear this. If you draw me. It'd be nice to think about it as something other than a symbol of the decay of my personal life."

James's eyes flitted away from the necklace and back up to Sirius. "You're serious about this."

He nodded.

"Alright," James said.

"Try not to use the wrong pencil on me. I want to look as pretty as all your French blokes."

"You'd look prettier than them no matter what I did," James said softly. "I'll lock the door, and you can... get comfortable."

"There's a party tonight in third class," James said. "You should come with me."

A party in third class. Sirius didn't even know what that would like, but refusing would make him more like the person his parents wanted him to be and less like he wanted to be. But, "I don't know why you'd want me to come with you." It's not like they'd be able to dance together, and that was the point of a party, wasn't it?

"You invited me for that stuffy dinner in first class. We might as well see how the other half lives, while we're at it."

"You're part of that half," Sirius pointed out. "You already know how they live."

"Then maybe it's something I think you should see. I think you'll have fun there; it's nothing like the dinner in first class was, or how you've described the parties you've been to."

Sirius worried at his lip for a moment. Then, "What should I wear?"

"Dress down a bit. More like me," James said. He got to his feet, putting a hand on Sirius's knee and squeezing as he did. The touch was mostly hidden by him moving, and it was fleeting; it still made Sirius's blood run hot. That was silly, wasn't it? James had seen him naked-- had drawn him naked-- and a touch on the knee was getting his blood pumping? They'd held hands; they'd talked as though they had a future together. Comparatively, a touch on he knee was nothing.

But it wasn’t nothing, and Sirius couldn’t even try to pretend otherwise.

And now they had a date to go to a party together. He didn't even have to worry about impressing him; all James had wanted was for Sirius to be himself. He still worried a bit for how it would go.

He didn't quite know how it had happened. They'd been laughing, and then Sirius had pulled him out of the main room, still laughing. He was pretty sure that he'd meant to ask if that’s what all parties were like for him, but then they'd been sharing the same breath, and there wasn't a damn thing that could've gotten Sirius to step away.

"We should go somewhere we won't get caught," Sirius managed to say when he got enough space from James's mouth-- not an easy feat.

"Your room?"

Sirius grimaced. "My parents have a key." He wasn't sure he had a key, but they definitely did. "They like to make sure I'm not getting up to trouble. Yours?"

"Third class," James reminded him. "It's not just my room; there's loads of other people there."

"Bugger. Wait, I've got it. C'mon," Sirius said, and started pulling him in the right direction. He was sure that it was obvious what they'd been doing, but most of the people in third class were still at the party, no other passenger would be down in this area, and there was nothing here that the crew would need.

"Where are we going?"

Sirius grinned. "The sky."

He loved the way that James's eyes lit with realisation without him having to say another word. James cared as much about him as he did about James, right? This was proof. It wasn't idle flirtation and animal attraction; it was something more than that.

They hurried down to where all the automobiles were, and not a one of them was locked because they were on the water. Sirius picked one that wasn't near the edge, and they tumbled into the backseat.

"I love you," James whispered against his neck, his hands on Sirius's back under his shirt and hot as a brand. Sirius was his, now. "I love you," he said again, when Sirius got a hand around his prick. His tone was worshipful and awed, like he couldn't believe the universe had let them find each other at the exact right moment.

Sirius could hardly believe it either, and he wasn't about to turn it away. "I love you too."

"Sirius, where are you going?" Orion screamed. He latched a hand around his son's upper arm to try and stop him from getting any further away from the lifeboat.

"I'm not leaving him!"

"He's going to die here!" They were yelling because they were angry, but the sound of everyone else panicking and the water and the boats was enough to make them have to speak louder anyways. "If you go after him, you'll die too. Even if you make it out of here alive, you'd be executed wherever you lived!"

"I'd rather die with him than live another second with you!" Sirius screamed, wrenching his arm out of his father's grip and running towards the lower decks where he knew James was. He didn't know how he was going to get him out of the handcuffs or where they'd try to go after he was free, but he couldn't just leave him there.

If you jump, I jump. James had said that it wasn't gamble back then, but this time it was. Sirius still believed it, though. He wasn't leaving this boat without James, and if that meant not leaving it at all, then he'd be okay with that.

#prongsfoot #marauders #james potter #sirius black #fanfic #filled #fusion #getting together #siriuslystarbucks #Anonymous

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jcmorrigan · 4 years ago

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001 - Kingdom Hearts

Favorite character: On the villain side: VEXEN IS BEST ORGANIZATION XIII MEMBER. Shoulda stayed evil, though. I like it when he complains and screams about everything and hates everyone. He's one of my favorite villains, just, like...in general. So fun to write. Also attached to Demyx, but I actually liked him more in III than II because it reminded me of my rawr lolspeek weeb days when I f/o'd him without knowing what f/o'ing was and then transitioned this to shipping VexDem like heck. On the hero side: MY GIRL KAIRI! But honorable mentions go to Sora, Riku, Aqua, Ven, Terra, Xion, Roxas, Lea, Ienzo, any Disney character I loved beforehand (this is way too fuckin many to list), Merlin (OKAY I WILL SINGLE HIM OUT), Yen Sid (I'LL SINGLE HIM OUT TOO), you know what let's also single out the Mickey+Donald+Goofy power trio...just...any KH hero who isn't part of the Yozora stuff or the KHUX stuff. ...Except I also LOVE Strelitzia, and she is the only KHUX-exclusive kiddo I care about but I care about her MANY. (Oh, and there's a least fave I have who's a "hero" but that's a debatable label). I would go on about why I love all of them but...that's too many characters to elaborate on

Least Favorite character: See, I think the real answer is Yozora, but the thing is I just tend to forget about him or not care (unless I'm doing a weird AU where he's Noctis' bratty Nobody, don't ask). He kinda represents the Shark Jump and I don't like watching that scene where he literally petrifies Sora for not being strong enough. But again, I can just kinda forget about him if he's not fed to me through a social-media unit. The one I LOVE TO HATE is Master Eraqus. The man actually triggered me back in the day. He is purity culture. He is the overbearing parent who will not accept you unless you are perfect. He is by and large the reason VAT didn't communicate with each other properly. He was the one who taught Aqua to think in absolutes. He lied to Ventus for years and then insisted to kill him was the only option, and then, when Terra tried to defend his brother figure/friend without knowing WHY Eraqus was doing such a thing, Eraqus didn't offer an explanation and instead switched targets to Terra citing that the problem was Terra's lack of OBEDIENCE. Eraqus is just very "my way or the highway" and uses his moral high horse to justify doing things that utterly lack compassion in any regard, which is something that GETS to me on a deep level, and let me tell you, I hated him for so long until I realized he was actually a super fuckin fun guy to imagine as a Bigger Bad in AUs that either have the KH protags teaming up or have villain protags needing a "greater good lawful evil" figure. And I just have found too many good memes about him cheating at chess and killing children. I have to laugh. Making fun of him is fun. He's a ridiculous character. That said, this recent trend of "erase everything bad he ever did and paint him as the ultimate hero of the saga" makes me raise eyebrows for SEVERAL reasons

5 Favorite ships (canon or non-canon): VexDem, SoRiku, Kairi x Jaune Arc (RWBY), Aqua x Rosalina (Super Mario Galaxy) x Bayonetta, IsaLea, Ventus x Papyrus (Undertale), that was six but they all needed to be mentioned

Character I find most attractive: Ienzo. HOO BABY he is adorable. I saw someone make a Valentine's Day gifset of KH and FF characters shortly after III dropped and seeing his smiling face paired with a romance quote made my heart FLUTTER

Character I would marry: Probably Ienzo, see above. He's also a very kind guy. Favorite redemption in the modern era.

Character I would be best friends with: I hope the Destiny Trio would adopt me into their friend circle the way they've tended to do with every other inter-world denizen they've come across. I would love to have them as my positivity squad. Or, y'know, two positivities and one "it's okay to screw up" guy. Just. I would love to hang out with them. I often worry that I'm unlikable to my faves, but even though I would usually prefer to hang with the villains, I can pretty much guarantee these three would be open-minded about me. (Do I kiiiiinda wanna be friends with Vexen though? Of course I do. He'd hate me but maaaayyyyybe he would see me as one of his pet idiots who makes him look smarter, and we could bond over our fragile egos?)

a random thought: You ever think about that one NPC lady in Traverse Town who refused to tell you where she was from because it was none of her business? You ever wonder where she WAS from? What her world was like? How she ended up being the survivor of the Ansem Apocalypse when it hit her? All I know is that when I read her lines out loud (I used to read KH speech balloons out loud all the time), I gave her a Southern accent for no discernible reason and I stand by it. That woman has a twang.

An unpopular opinion: I don't want KHUX to be canon because I feel it's smaller-scale and takes a lot of mystery out of the worldbuilding. I always assume that the KHverse just includes ALL worlds in fiction, and that includes their thousand-year histories, meaning the Age of Fairy Tales should've happened long long long LONG LONG LONG ago and not five generations. And whatever screwed up the world should've been more than just five people having a fight, and whatever saved it should've been more than just five people getting along, and Daybreak Town really suffers from having to stick to mobile-friendly graphics and therefore is the least aesthetically attractive KH town ever, and I don't like that Lauriam and Elrena used to be such selfless people. I do still love Strelitzia because she's shy and relatable and quirky (sitting on the roof) and she questions authority and if you go with shipping subtext she's probably bi (or pan?), but I don't like the "Lauriam's dead sister for his arc's drama" bit. I liked when Marluxia was angry because he wanted to run Organization XIII but it was in the hands of an idiot who wasn't him. And more than anything I just like imagining that the Age of Fairy Tales was something bigger, further in the past, and more mysterious than something designed for a mobile game. Scala ad Caelum, however, I like a lot better because there IS a lot of mystery there and also it's a very pretty town with an amazing design.

my canon OTP: I really only count the Disney couples as the "canon" ones, so this is a question of picking my favorite Disney couple that shows up onscreen. I hope I'm not forgetting an important one, but I think the title has to go to Aladdin/Jasmine, which is always perfect in everything. (This would be an ENTIRELY DIFFERENT STORY if KH had ever adapted Treasure Planet, and if it ever gets the mind to adapt Treasure Planet then even if I don't care about that game I will immediately declare that Amelia/Doppler takes the KH canon OTP crown. *taps watch* Get on it Squenix)

Non-canon OTP: SoRiku, which I counted as "basically canon" after DDD until III decided it wasn't sure. But I'm just a sucker for how DDD is the two of them all "HE'S GOT MY BACK AND I'VE GOT HIS AND I'D DO ANYTHING FOR HIM SO LONG AS HE'S HAPPY." It's just the best kind of Friends-to-Lovers, except when you take all canon into account it's Friends-to-Rivals-to-Enemies-to-Friends-to-Lovers and that's a very juicy dynamic. BUT ALSO: VexDem, which is a nostalgia ship SO STRONG I had to accept that it eclipsed my former Vexen ships by a mile and I wanted to go back to my roots. That one, I have a much longer essay about that I'll just have you refer to so I don't repeat myself for pages. To make a long story short, their scene in III was JUST DELICIOUS.

most badass character: OOF THEY'RE ALL BADASS but in the end it's between Sora and Aqua, because Sora gets the widest RANGE of abilities across the series that he masters while Aqua gets the most POWERFUL abilities due to her Mastery (Command Styles seem like they'd be the most OP things ever in-universe and I'm here for it because flashy battle moves make brain go brr).

pairing I am not a fan of: SOKAI, Xehaqus, RikuNami, Vanitas/anyone not evil

character I feel the writers screwed up (in one way or another): OH BOY. KAIRI THE MOST. YOU ALL KNOW WHY: lack of screen time, Fridging for drama, forced romance to invite death flags (they really wanted to milk that death to get people talking didn't they?), giving Alyson Stoner ZERO direction to actually follow up on Hayden Panettiere's performance. But then I remember that they made Vexen redeem and lose his entire personality and I just...uuugghhhh. I can't believe he died twice in this series. And then Demyx is FUN but also I know he's flipped sides as well, which means he won't be fun much longer! Xehanort seems to switch motivations to whatever makes him the biggest threat (and several of Eraqus' old flaws seem to be mysteriously glued onto him), Sora isn't a motormouth anymore, Riku just doesn't get anyone who cares about him anymore because everyone's distracted by Sora and Kairi, IS ANYBODY GOING TO ADDRESS THE ACTUAL ISSUES THAT DROVE THE WAYFINDER TRIO APART, oh God Marluxia and Larxene you're good guys now what have they done to you

favourite friendship: I really like each of the trios. But you know what's even BETTER than the trios? If you put...all of the trios together...meaning Sora, Riku, Kairi, Mickey, Donald, Goofy, Aqua, Terra, Ven, Roxas, Xion, Lea, Hayner, Pence, Olette...and then you added Isa back in there...and you gave them Ienzo...and you brought back Naminé...and you say that Subject X is Strelitzia and you have her turn back up so she can have justice done...AND YOU HAVE AN ULTRA KEYBLADE GROUP OF FRIENDS. As for Vexen, any purely platonic relationship I have for him is a crossover but trust me I have many crossover pals for he

character I want to adopt or be adopted by: See everyone I listed above in the friendship question. They can either mentor me or let me be their big sis/mom. But also, I will GLADLY be Merlin or Yen Sid's daughter. (But also would I kiiiiinda wanna be a VexDem daughter? This is the worst idea. Still wanna try)

#kingdom hearts

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professor-glasses · 4 years ago

Text

Tagged by @kunikiiida-kuuun and @samsa19, thank you!!

1. why did you choose your url?

It’s a reference to my favourite character from the Professor Layton series, Desmond Sycamore! In the English translations of the game he’s referred to as Professor Sycamore, and he wears glasses, therefore “professor glasses”!

2. any side blogs? if you have them, name them and why you have them.

I have a sideblog that I make and post stimboards on! It’s not very active, because I take an epically long time to do anything ever, but it exists!

I also have a bunch of secret sideblogs but those are secret!

3. how long have you been on Tumblr?

Oh let me see... I think it’s since late 2018? But I only started becoming more active around mid-2019 I think? I’m not sure exactly!

4. do you have a queue tag?

I used to just tag queued posts with queue but at some point I stopped doing even that so now you can just try to guess the queue schedule to find out which ones are or aren’t queued instead (hint: most things I post are queued)

5. why did you start your blog in the first place?

I think I wanted to interact with Professor Layton blogs. I was in a strong Layton phase. I’ve still got the Layton influence in url, pfp, and a bit of theme!

6. why did you choose your icon/pfp?

I drew it! It made me happy. It still does.

7. why did you choose your header?

AKUTAGAWA WATERING PLANTS

8. which post of yours has the most notes?

A gifset that I made for the Owls of Ga’Hoole movie. It has over 1000 notes now. I never expected it to get even half that much.

9. how many mutuals do you have?

26, I believe!

10. how many followers do you have?

175, according to the count.

11. how many people do you follow?

152, but most of them don’t post frequently.

12. have you ever made a shitpost?

I would say so at some point yes

13. how often do you use Tumblr?

Way too much. I have Tumblr open like the whole day, but due to my timezone there isn’t as much happening as you might think.

14. did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? who won?

Thankfully not!

15. how do you feel about 'you need to compare this’ posts?

I do not know

16. do you like tag games?

I like them!! But I am a great big snail doing them half the time

17. do you like ask games?

Same as above!

18. which one of your mutuals do you think is tumblr famous?

I have a few mutuals who have/had bigger followings and posted more stuff for fandoms and all that, but I don’t know if they count as Tumblr famous.

19. do you have a crush on a mutual?

What is a crush sdhfnsdhfn

20. tags:

I’m going to chicken out here actually and tag no one but if anyone would like to steal this and do it consider this a free space tag just for you

#tagged

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gothamstreetcat · 4 years ago

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Please share your thoughts based of the bingo cards below because I wanna know 👀

i am absolutely going to be talking about all things controversial below the cut: ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ʳᵉᵃᵈ ᶦᶠ ʸᵒᵘ ᵃʳᵉ ᵃ ᶠᵃⁿ ᵒᶠ ᵇᵃʳᵇᵃʳᵃ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵗᵃᵇᶦᵗʰᵃ

season one

there isn't much I think is super controversial in season one, but I will definitely be talking about selina, the batcat kiss, and the overall season itself

on selina i have to say i was a little nervous before the show aired. it’s silly but also understandable for me because i always find myself getting nervous whenever someone new takes on a character I love. but honestly, i think camren is the best selina kyle we could have asked for. there is just always something about each catwoman/selina kyle i didn’t like, but with camren i think we get the most true and genuine portrayal because gotham shows her childhood—a obviously important part to selina’s character. it’s a side of her we never get to see much of in the comics or in films, and i just find it a very important part to her character.

sometimes I think people are too drawn into making selina something more (holy tim burton, batman! she’s got cat powers!). and I hate to throw tim under the bus with this, but over time the whole cat powers thing really pissed me off because part of what I loved about selina was how she was a regular person. she didn’t need cat powers to be great or special. it also kinda makes me sad when people compare cam’s selina so much to pfeiffer’s because a. camren is her own selina and shouldn’t be put under that kind of pressure and b. I really can’t see someone as tough as camren’s selina becoming some old man’s assistant with “corndogs” as a (cat)chprase(?)

i know it’s silly, but another thing about cam’s selina is how much i just love her. i just grew up wanting to be her and be like her. i wanted to be hardened by city streets and i know it’s dumb but i don’t think i have to explain why i feel such a strong way about her. we all have our favorite characters. **more of this hot mess in the tags

moving into the batcat kiss i was initially really uncomfortable and disappointed with it. david and cam were young at the time, therefore, so were bruce and selina, and i just honestly feel like it was too soon. however, i know in an interview they talked about it and were okay with it—cam saying how she was able to separate herself from the character—so I have grown to be more tolerant of it (is it dumb to say i was a little embarrassed for them because that’s how i would feel if it was me?) i am also not innocent because i did make a gifset of the kiss but it was also paired with selina asking for bruce’s consent, and i only made it because i liked the parallels (queue a young me making gifs on makeagif.com) Now, I will highly advocate for that gifset because to me it really shows how much selina went to get bruce’s ‘okay’ before she kissed him. i feel as though we are always advocating so much when it comes to a woman’s consent but never when it is a man’s and both are equally as important but we’ll get into that later in this post.

another thing i want to add, is how i’d like to believe i have some idea as to why they did the kiss in the first place. i want to believe it had something to do with the trauma of the day, or the fact that bruce is a boy who showed selina genuine kindness when she is clearly someone who has gone without. god forbid it only to be seen as ‘cute’ but perhaps, because selina wanted to know what it felt like to be touched in that sort of way. by someone like Bruce (who was innocent and had never been kissed) maybe it was some sort of way to thank him or a parting gift, to which i’m sure people would say that’s wrong but i feel with selina’s background it makes sense. as if it was a way for bruce to remember her by. now, i personally wouldn’t know what any of that feels like so maybe that throws all my credibility out the window but these are just my ideas.

the season overall i hold onto dear, i know we all have our favorites and this isn’t controversial, but you can’t beat the first. sometimes, i do feel like shows lose their way and loose that little spark when they first got started. and to be honest, i did feel that a little with gotham. not only that (and i’ve said this before so i’m sorry if i’m a broken record) but with gotham it gaves us these characters we are so used to seeing a certain way. the show took these seeming monsters and turned them human and we as watchers related to them. edward nygma was a nerd working at the gcpd. oswald was a guy holding an umbrella, turned dishwasher who then became the king of gotham. poison ivy was just a kid. everything was so new and fresh and exciting. so yeah, i think that’s a wrap on season one

season two

the only thing i am really going to talk about from this season was ‘babitha.’ again, i am sorry for anyone who follows me, is reading this and is a fan of them but in all seriousness: their relationship was toxic as hell. first off, i really didn’t like barbara nor tabitha before hand. barbara always felt whiny and needy while tabitha was played like some ditzy woman for her brother. together they were highly annoying, and i almost hate say that because independently tabitha was a really strong character. i still didn’t like her but i see and appreciate her without her brother.

going into that i really think there where times barbara dragged her down. times where barbara was unstable, power-hungry and it just seemed like tabitha was not enough unless she had more. barbara also didn’t seem to like the idea that butch had a special place in tabitha’s heart (and then later killed him). i mean this is a funny way, but barbara can come off like that kid who was never told ‘no’ in her life.

not to mention when tabitha died and barbara went and fucked jim for the sake it of, i guess. i know everyone grieves differently and holy batgirl, batman! but it doesn’t seem right.

i wish i had more to say on them with better examples, but i honestly have way more to say regarding the sirens so i’m gonna let you read that instead.

honorable mentions include: bridgit pike deserving better because that girl could never catch a break. and the true ending of herself and karen jennings meeting, falling in love, and leaving gotham together. it honestly makes me sad i made up this ship and it feels like i’m the only one keeping it afloat.

season three

again, i have my issues regarding the siren’s team up, so i was unhappy when they decided to make tabitha galavan selina’s mentor. i personally would not want to pair someone as vulnerable as selina with someone who physically and mentally abused her, but okay gotham. so that is where my ted grant comment came in, i assume you’ve read the comics and know that ted was one of the few who originally trained selina before becoming catwoman. therefore, i was disappointed they didn’t use him as i find him a better canidate for a mentor but also such an important person in her story. he would have been a great addition to the show.

of course my first honorable mention must go to the batman returns scene because you’re only hip if piggy-back off of tim burton. as i mentioned above i don’t like how much cam’s selina is compared to pfieffer’s. i don’t understand why they had to re-create something i already think is over hyped when gotham is already a great show on it’s own, it would have been redeeming if they had not done the ‘cat power’ thing in season five but thankfully they didn’t really use it.it really pisses me off how much they really tried to make that scene frame for frame.

my second honorable mention is going to be given to selina not knowing five was bruce because of his scars & alfred and maria respectively. i could talk a lot about why i love maria and alfred--i understand why people don’t like her and they’re right to do so, however, i do think they are right for one another. they both have jaded pasts, and yeah, the show was teasing love-interests for alfred a here and there but how can you not be happy for him when he saw selina’s mom? i think people should be redeemed and i honestly think maria was at least changed by her time at wayne manor and if you want i wrote a fic about alfred and maria but it’s totally bad writing wise so don’t read it. also. i’m sorry it’s dirty and i couldn’t go through with it. it’s kinda bad

as for selina and five i think there is something imamate about selina knowing bruce’s scars (not gonna lie,i was honestly going to talk about this but i’m too tired and don’t think i have anything meaningful to have)

season four

this is probably going to be the hardest season for me to talk about. and the only two things i’m going to cover are the toxic manipulation and abuse between the sirens team-up, as well as the sexual abuse bruce endured.

on the sirens i just wanna say i hopefully plan in the future to make a master-post involving this trio. i want to be as clear as possible and include the episodes but in case i don’t i’m just going to try my best. keep in mind i made this post regarding this topic a long time ago if you want the quick version. if you do check it out it’s been a while since i read it so it is probably messy and ugly. i also want to point out i’m going to try and talk about how much of the adults in selina’s life failed her. barbara and tabitha hit this mark pretty hard since at least barbara was there in the beginning stages of her life, and the trio themselves were made to appear as some sort of strong power-house.

i get on a surface level why fans like the barabra/tabitha + selina team-up (because girl power i guess), but i honestly can’t get over the abuse selina endured to even get to the point of being in a group. much of their relationship seemed more about tabitha and barbara loving to have her rather then love her, period. there were times during their involvement that it was clear selina was not an equal, and times where being with them made selina weaker (speaking about when she called upon them for help in that one episode where she was trapped, yet you’re telling me this is the same girl who took out that guy’s eyes from season one?) several times, selina appeared to be talked down to and treated as though she couldn’t handle tasks, yet has been homeless her whole life and has broken in and out of prison.

the interaction between barbara and selina from season one haunts me a great deal for the way barbara spoke to selina and was objectifying her. i made a long-post/ask about it here which i encourage you to look at. this is particularly hard for me to talk about for the simple fact of selina being a child of the streets and barbara speaking to her like she’s trying to pimp her out *for lack of a better way of saying it* i just don’t think this is something an adult should be saying to selina because the truth is that barabara is the adult and should do better. her and tabitha even dressed her up for that club commercial (in which selina was clearly unhappy) and had her running a club full of underage kids developing a drinking problem and one very small boy being taken advantage of.

people hate it when alfred slapped selina but when tabitha punched selina unconscious and kidnaped her for barbara it’s no big deal

and the episode “to our deaths and beyond” hits deepest and is a clean sign of manipulation when they both tricked selina into bringing bruce so they could mutilate him for his blood. even when he was crying and panicking barbara help him down and tabitha held selina back from helping him.

here is a gifset about the scene and *lex i’m sorry for using your set if you happen to see this (but please don’t see this because i don’t wanna make anyone feel bad and i just want to speak freely about what i believe)

again, not treating selina with respect, and when she straight told them she would have not brought bruce BECAUSE HE IS HER FRIEND, tabitha got defense and questioned her loyalty. first off, you are an adult and should know how to act better. she knew selina wouldn’t have brought bruce otherwise because they knew what they were doing was wrong. they knew how much bruce meant to selina and for them to try to guilt her is awful in itself. tricking and manipulating bruce is awful. mutilating him is awful. and holding selina back from helping her friend after you lied to her is awful--this is honestly one of the most sickening things for me to watch *not to mention why you would not want selina to be friends with bruce when he’s clearly a great guy* (but the gifset is pretty no question. shout-out to lex for being so talented)

in addition to this, the entire selina getting shot storyline is right up there too. i understand the writer’s didn’t have enough time to flesh everything out but it wasn’t even mentioned once that barbara and tabitha went to visit her. i believe tabitha might have mentioned it but it was only to get revenge over jeremiah, but they never visited her or checked on her, and she tried to kill herself and still nothing.

now, i’m not trying to be all biased for bruce wayne because he was there for her every singe day and never left her side. nor would i ever mention that idea of bruce physically helping selina care for her own body when she couldn’t. how he got her that medicine to heal her pain and held her while she screamed that she wanted to die. all the while doing everything he could to help her not feel that way again.

you can say a lot of things about bruce wayne. people love to talk shit about him. but at the end of the day you can never say he was a bad friend, because he was the best. and you can’t say that for barbara and tabitha (not only to add how all the abuse was never brought up nor apologized for)

now, onto something that i am a big advocate for and particularly boils my blood. bruce’s alcohol problem and constant physical abuse by the adults in the show.

i am mainly speaking about ivy (peyton list) however, while reading a reddit thread someone said that grace’s actress as twenty-one years of age, also kissing david (who i believe was sixteen at the time). someone else, also said that it wasn’t really illegal but i honestly do not care. if the roles were reversed and it was a young girl vs an older man, people would be in outrage and i don’t think that should change be it david.

the scene with peyton particularly bothers me because she is substantially older, and while you could argue it might not be david based off how the scene was shot, i highly doubt it. it’s wrong no matter how you slice it and it particularly bothers me because the abuse surrounding men/boys is taken so lightly. i’m not trying to put presidency over female abuse, as i believe both are equal in how awful they are, but there is evidence behind males being mocked. something that is at a higher volume, and it makes me wonder the number of rapes that go unreported or those who can’t talk about it because they won’t be believed. i’ve already seen it but i would be lying if i said i wasn’t worried for david to be conditioned to think what happened to him was fun or cool.

on top of all the kissing in the club scene followed by waking up in bed with the two girls--i would not hesitate to think he was taken advantage of in some way. i also can’t even think of his drinking days and not think of all the people who potentially abused him.

i obviously can’t speak for david and perhaps i’m grasping at straws but this is something that bother me and no one talks about enough.

season five

nothing to add here except while i did miss cam in the final and it wasn’t complete without here, i very much respect her for her choice to walk away. i think it shows a high level of intelligence and integrity (something i wish i had). and i most admire her for passing on the torch when she felt she wasn’t ready, which i think speaks volumes of her and her character. again, selina one selina will always be my favorite so i love the idea of my favorite staying a young girl before she was ready. i don’t think the show was ready. and as much as i would have loved for her to have a cameo like david did, it isn’t here or there and she said she favorite scene was on the staircase. so as far as i’m concerned, that’s the best place to leave on (even though that wasn’t the last scene but we’re ignoring that)

i hope this wasn’t too wordy or long!

#i'm so sorry if me not using capitals was really annoying. i wanted to be aesthetically pretty #thank you dear!#please feel free to add to this!#sorry this took so long #gotham bingo #asks #asks: ashlyn #also. in case I don't talk about it in the post (because I always write the tags first)#street selina is really important to me because it’s something we don’t see enough of in the comics #it’s what I crave so I’m sure it makes be biased to rave about cam’s performance #but long ago I used to think Kitt and Newmar were over the top (now I find them endearing and funny)#plus 60’s catwoman comes off more like a villain and maybe the only redeeming thing was how she was considering change for batman #unfortunately though when newmar left they didn’t have the romance with kitt but also in a weird way I grew up with cam #she was not really *catwoman* but I do think selina Kyle on her own is just as fucking important #as I say with bruce because really anyone can be batman or catwoman but it takes someone special to be the one underneath #and I’m around the same age as cam and when I watched that show my life was a certain way #and when it was over my life was totally different #I wanted to be her and I used to think if selina could do something so could I. which is why I hold so tight onto season one #with the other catwoman. I like Phiffer but I think she’s a little overrated. again. I hate the cat thing. I hate the assistant thing #but all an all I’ve grown to love the film more and more. with Hathaway I don’t think she had a lot to work with #also. I’m a nit picky motherfucker and I didn’t like that she didn’t have her whip nor did I like that she used guns #there was really nothing wrong with her but there wasn’t much special either (again. she didn’t have much to work with)#and a speical mention for Hally Berry who was not selina and again the cat thing but she was my first catwoman and who got me into the #character in the first place. don’t know why I’m fucking judging newmar and kitt though considering I pulled the same shit when I was a kid #but okay Haley

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scoundrels-in-love · 5 years ago

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Exit Rant & Rave of Extraordinary You

Because I was watching with a friend and often had to go to sleep immediately after, I did not blog much commentary as I watched the series, but tonight I’m saying fuck sleep and writing some thoughts as I’ve just wrapped up the series.

Obviously stuffed with spoilers to the brim. (It’s long and I probably forgot something.)

Every character in the story believed that the changes they made had some superb effect one way or another the WAY they WANTED or BELIEVED they went/would go, without any proof. Dan Oh believed from get go she could save herself through changing her story. Without a single proof. Similarly, Kyung believed changing her story would kill her. Also without proof, other than his want to keep everything same as on stage. Meanwhile, to a reader it seemed obvious that while Saeguks are all about the tragedy, high school romcom is not likely to have a death of a character on whose romance there’s been quite the focus. Of course, that’s an outside POV. And desperation to live could spark such an idea in Dan Oh, I imagine. But it really got very frustrating around ep 24-26, how all of them kept blaming each other for ‘changing the story’ and dooming Dan Oh, even for things that happened in Trumpet Creeper when neither even REMEMBERED if any of the Stages got changed!!! This made the eps/that part drag for me and frustrate me and it deducted points from story, for me.

Similarly, as watcher/reader it was obvious Writer very much liked Kyung and some readers had been upset with the outcome, so Writer wanted to redeem him through a properly done romance where he Learned to be kinder/had happy ending, and the way to do it while telling a fresh story was to write Haru out and put them in background. More points in ‘Dan Oh ain’t gonna die’ goal. At one point I wondered if messing with the story really wouldn’t end up killing her because maybe grandma was meant to die and she wasn’t.

I still like @gizkasparadise theory his little brother was Writer’s self insert. The other option was he had mad crush on sulky Kyung.

This is how to do a Soulmate trope without mentioning soulmates right. While essentially nothing changed from Writer’s plan, Haru’s and Dan Oh’s feelings were so strong they basically drew him back into existence. His consciousness was tied to hers, it materialized in attempts to protect her and then into the world. Not to mention, all the lines they finally got to say as they had wanted to, the way they couldn’t forget each other. This is something that Dried Squid Fairy glossed over when they spoke of ‘mere extras that can be erased’ when they spoke of comic ending. That he already broke through it once just because he loved so much.

Also the cinematic parallels of him Remembering her and going into the next world versus her Remembering him as she goes into the next world. Whew.

Some more points are docked from the story for the way Do Hwa could NOT keep his mouth shut about anything and how much trouble he caused, but while that made sense for his character overall, the way Dried Squid Fairy told Kyung about erasing one’s self awareness was entirely plot-serving and made no sense.

DSF as narrative foil to Haru and Kyung as narrative foil to Do Hwa was gorgeously done.

Joo Da is Aro, in my head. While I can see it as Polyamorous thing, for me it’s more of an Aro being confused as what counts as ‘liking’ and ‘loving’ someone romantically, so intense care and friendship gets mistaken as one and therefor she just wants them all 3 to be together, happy, and can’t pick one, sticks with the one that needs her more as friend. She really seemed to struggle with word love and also never saw any kisses, on Stage or otherwise!

As a clear proof of being extensively spoiled for story doesn’t replace watching experience, I did not expect to have SO many feelings about DSF and his lady. I think I teared up over them before our main couple, oops, when he treated her to a meal. The YEARNING. Somehow, the way she played a soft matchmaker when Dan Oh forgot, the way they mirror each other... They were very powerful baseline for what the show was telling, putting it all in a sharp and cutting focus.

“Congratulations on graduating from this world” was one of the, if not most, powerful line in the series for me, somehow. The bittersweet taste of it. ‘You endured through the pain and the longing. You learned. You grew. You are leaving it all behind. And maybe there will be no more you, or me, ever. Congratulations. You did well.’ Oh god. I just can’t deal. (I need this on gifset)

Kyung is Fuckyung as my friend deemed him. That’s all. While I did feel sympathy for him at various times and was like “Dan Oh, if only you gave him chance to speak/didn’t literally run off to Haru quite in most brusque/fuck you way”.... He still Fucked up, he was still messed up and chose some really messed up things even full aware of making those choices and consequences. His ‘redemption’ was short and without proper momentum and idk. I hope he can be happier and more whole in next volume.

Speaking of which, I am so upset most of their belongings and memories like photos and such disappear. And that we can never know who will live through iterations, how many lifetimes Haru and Dan Oh will have. The thought Sae Mi might’ve gotten through to uni life and DSF and Do Hwa might not have... Fucks me up, in a bad way.

Also what’s the deal with ERASING a world? I’d never erase my own worlds. And I like to think that after story is finished, if you think about it and things like fanfiction keep it not being ‘shut down’ like this.

Also it’s a SOFT COVER BOOK, it’d not shut so loudly, lol.

I really loved the softness of our couple. Like, YESSS. Perfect. Overall, this did so many of things I love right and even when it went into territories I wasn’t fond of, it was still quite good. I can say, yeah, this goes in top favorite drama list. It’s hard to say good bye to it and watching it with my friend was a huge highlight of my April.

#rainy watches kdrama #extraordinary you #day found by chance #kdrama

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angelhummel · 5 years ago

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wanted to get out some britt/ana thoughts before bed and they’re all negative so if you don’t wanna read them don’t read them. i’ll even put it below a cut so you’ve got no excuse if you want to avoid. anyway i don’t want your rebuttal or whatever klaine insult anon message you might send in retaliation bc i’ll delete it without answering like i have the last few so save us all the trouble. thanks in advance

ANYWAy of course i’ve been thinking about this before in the wake of me realizing how much i absolutely hate brittany and how she is the worst character on the show for me. but watching thetrophymuncher react to the show for the first time as someone who’s never seen or i suppose even heard about it, and seeing the issues he points out, makes it that much more obvious to me

i’ll spare everyone my rehashing of why brittany is the worst character on the show. i know i’ve talked about it enough. but besides the fact that she is literally less consistent than quinn, she also just. does nothing. and to me, that’s part of why britt/ana fans think they have the perfect relationship

i keep thinking back to the one gifset i saw that was that shady ass “happy anniversary britt/ana and klaine!” gifset that was all of britt/ana’s best moments side by side with klaine’s worst moments. and idk why but the one i remember the most is the wss cast list going up. and brittany is smiling and hugging santana and kurt is hugging blaine but also >gasp!< kurt isn’t 110% thrilled bc he also wanted the part of tony and he has conflicting feelings. the fucking rat bastard

brittany’s wants never conflict with santana’s because she has no wants. she’s a boring character and it makes their relationship boring. we’ve heard it a million times that no one wants to watch two characters sit around saying “i love you” all day but that is literally all they do. am i saying they need to fight to make things interesting? no. but no couple is going to get along 100% of the time. they’re going to butt heads eventually. i mean, they will if they’re actual individuals with their own thoughts and opinions, at least

i hope this doesn’t come as a shock to anyone, but you are not your best self in high school. people grow and they change and that’s okay. it’s allowed, actually. but brittany and santana are such enablers of one another’s shitty behavior. they let each other be as selfish and bitchy and mean as they want and they don’t care. they let each other go unchecked and are just like “well we’re hot so it’s okay”. and the fandom is the same goddamn way, which is why i dislike them as much i dislike the ship

circling back around to ttm’s reactions because that’s what made me want to word vomit this all up in the first place. when brittany was running for class president and he’s like “oh this will add a lot to her character”. It didn’t. During I Kissed A Girl and Santana’s coming out, he’s like “oh i thought they would at least focus some on Brittany and their relationship”. They didn’t. They have no scenes together, Brittany has no lines, Brittany doesn’t even sing the other part of the I Kissed A Girl duet!!

Brittany has no conflict or arguments with Santana or anyone else because it would literally be like arguing with a rock. She is a blank slate that only comes to life to deliver some cringe one liner that creates an awkward silence before everyone moves on with their lives. The writers put no thought into her and it shows over and over again. And fans will jump through hoops explaining why she’s an amazing character and Britt/ana is an amazing ship, because all they care about is two hot girls making out

And the shit that Brittany gets away with in regards to Santana is absolutely astounding. Season one, she literally outs herself and Santana to half their friends, in the middle of a crowded school hallway. No repercussions because we had to save it for s3 when the same thing happened but this time It’s Serious. In s3 she literally leaks hers and Santana’s sex tape to the entire world (which, hello, child pornography?) and in s4 Santana says that tape will literally follow her for her entire life. But no, it was a totes sweet gesture and her heart was in the right place. And the whole thing about Brittany deciding which college to sign Santana up for and sending in the applications without telling her and giving Santana absolutely no say in her own future? I’ll tell you THAT never sat right with me, never will. And the one that re-sparked this whole feeling for Britt/ana is the gem of a moment in s3 where Brittany takes part in Mr. Schuester’s offensive as fuck number where he’s a bullfighter and she’s literally dressed up as a bull running and dancing across the stage while he sings. Bc y’know, culture

And Santana delivers that whole speech about how offensive it is that he’s perpetuating these stereotypes and he’s so clueless that he really doesn’t know better. So where’s this for Brittany? We’re just ignoring her? I mean yeah we are, because she’s nothing. It’s like the whole thing of people trying to say she’s the sweet summer child too good for this world too pure naive little lamb that must be protected, but she’s also the math genius epic troll that’s always three steps ahead of everyone else. And that’s what makes me hate Britt/ana no matter how you slice it, and even dislike Santana when she’s with Brittany. Either Brittany is too naive to know what’s going on, and therefore Santana is taking advantage of her (“Which isn’t cheating because..?” “The plumbing’s different”). Or Brittany knows exactly what she’s doing at all times and is the one who’s manipulating Santana because, idk, she’s the fucking puppet master genius or whatever the fuck. Either way, she does some shitty, shady, stupid as fuck shit and gets away with it bc all people care about is two hot girls making out

Anyway wow look how long that was and how much I rambled. If anyone reads all of this I will be shocked. But like I said I just wanted to get some thoughts out and I don’t care for whatever argument you have against this bc it really just does not matter to me. Okay thanks goodnight x

#glee #lol glee #anti brittana #lol brittana #anti brittany #anti brittany pierce #lol brittany #lol brittany pierce #i hate brittany #that should just be my new tag #bc why be coy about it #my thoughts #long post #negativity tag

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softjeon · 5 years ago

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The perfect Illusion | Final

• Pairing: Geisha!Jimin x Namjoon | Side-Pairing: Geisha!Jungkook x Yoongi • Genre: Fluff / Angst | Geisha!AU ( → Gifset Trailer) • Words: 9,2k | ↳ AO3 • Disclaimer: mentioning of abusive behavior

*** please note that this story doesn’t mean to represent accurate geisha tradition, it was solely inspired by the beautiful art form, giving it a modern twist in a fictional universe and therefore has been dramatized for entertainment purposes.

written with @cassiavioletblue

↳ He was the perfect illusion. The getaway for anyone who didn’t want to face reality. And yet, there was something in his eyes, something vulnerable and hopeful as if he was dying for someone to see through him, to care for him enough to look behind the mask and draw out the real Jimin. And Namjoon couldn’t wait to do exactly that.

« previous chapter | masterlist | next chapter »

“You did fucking what?” Yoongi’s eyes were wide as he stared at Namjoon in surprise and shock with a hint of nervousness that washed over his expression. “Wait. Start from the beginning again…how did you get from asking me if I wanted milk in my coffee, which I, by the way, never do, to telling me about paying Jimin’s debt?”

Yoongi felt a little too breathless, too tired from spending almost all night with Jungkook. And now he was sitting in front of Namjoon when they usual morning get togethers for coffee (even though they lived in two different apartments, every sunday morning Yoongi still shuffled down the hallway to Namjoon’s place just like they were used to from living together) made his best friend literally spill his tea, or well…his coffee.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t think of a better way to tell you so... yeah, I asked Hoseok to give me permission to marry Jimin. But the sum Jimin owes Hoseok is no joke and I don’t have enough in my private account to pay all that so I wanted to ask you if... if I could either lend something from the company - or use it as loan security when I ask for money at the bank. I know it must sound crazy to you and maybe I am but… I mean it. I really do. This isn’t altruism or charity. I fell in love with Jimin. And if me marrying him improves his life then why shouldn’t I do it?”

“Sure.” Yoongi nodded, taking the cup of coffee to take a big sip from it, his eyes focused on something completely else than Namjoon. How could he scold his friend about something like falling in love with a geisha, when he was guilty himself? And he was bad at lying, especially when it was to his best friend. So, he quickly reached for his pocket and got out his phone, opening the app of his bank account. “How much money do you need?” This would definitely keep Namjoon from asking question about where he had been last night and simultaneously make him the happiest man alive.

“W…what?” He stared at Yoongi, completely confused. “You… you are kidding right? I thought... won’t you try and talk me out of this? Because of Jimin’s job, his training, the short amount of time we know each other and the amount of money I would have to pay just to be with him? Didn’t you say that it’s all an illusion in there, fake perfection to sell an image to people like us who can pay for it?”

“Love is love, Namjoon. I see the way you changed and Jimin is making you so much happier. Gosh, I just want you to finally get some…,” Yoongi groaned low, trying to keep every attention off of him, “Sometimes it’s worth it, you know? To fight for someone, you love. We’re doing good and we’re making more money than we can ever imagine. Our stocks are doing great, our products are selling fast and now that we are establishing our work in Japan with Mr. Lings investment…we’re fine.” He waved Namjoon off, “We’re doing just fine…so go and get married. Live life, love Jimin…do whatever makes you happy! Life’s too short to question everything. Sometimes you just have to do what your heart is telling you. There’s nothing wrong with falling in love and wanting to marry them. No matter how long you know them. You just know it’s right…you feel it in your heart,” Yoongi pointed at his own, nodding determinately, before adding quickly, “So, just tell me how much you need and the date when we take the boys with us and I’m your man!” Yoongi cocked up an eyebrow at Namjoon, “I’ll be your best man, right?”

“Who are you and what did you do to my grumpy, wary and sarcastic friend?” Namjoon laughed, carefree as if someone just lifted a hundred pounds off his heart. Yoongi didn't judge him or acted shocked by what he was about to do. Even better he actually offered to lend him money which meant the company would be fine and there wouldn’t be any risk of losing it to a bank. Also, he rather paid interest to Yoongi who totally deserved it than to a bank. So, he told him what sum he would need, half expecting Yoongi to gasp in surprise or take his offer back.

But Yoongi did neither.

“Okay, done,” Yoongi announced, turning his screen around to Namjoon, so the other could see that it was indeed the sum he had asked for which was now sent off to Namjoon’s account. Yoongi had saved up enough money to be okay with this and although he needed to lay low a little more with his money now, he had nothing to worry about anymore. If Namjoon was happy, then Jimin was happy, therefore Jungkook was happy. And that’s all he wanted in the end. With a big sigh, he leaned back against his chair.

“That’s...wow. Wow I mean, thank you, Yoongi! So much! I’ll pay you back, with interest and... thank you, really. You can’t imagine how much this means to me! I won’t ever, ever forget what you just did for me. For us.” He chuckled, realization settling in. He had the money. He could pay Hoseok back the moment Jimin told him he was ready to leave. He was in love with a beautiful person who loved him back - and he would marry him.

Like a fairytale come true.

Namjoon couldn’t even hide the smile behind his hand because it was so broad, his dimples showing it a way that spoke of pure happiness. “By the way, of course you’ll be my best man. And Jungkook can be the flower child; I bet he would enjoy that.” He could almost picture the boy throwing flowers around and onto all of their heads.

Apropos Jungkook… his voice grew a little softer, a little more careful when he continued, “How... how long did you stay at the tea house last night? Did you see Jungkook... afterwards or…” How did you ask your best friend if he was able to comfort the boy he liked after they had to spend a night with a stranger?

“W-what, what do you mean…did you see me? Where? In the theater…of the tea house?” Yoongi coughed awkwardly, the nervousness was rushing through him so fast that it was making him stutter. What was that about being bad at lying again?

Yoongi tried a smile, chuckling nervously, “What are you implying? That I bid on Jungkook? My sweet little Jungkookie? My maiko? T-that is now a geisha? B-because someone…paid him…and that someone definitely wasn’t me. Because it was…is a lot of money that you have to pay. You said it yourself we shouldn’t support the ritual! Maybe I just wanted to see him again. I like him, okay? He’s cute. Very much so. I like him. There. I said it. Are you happy now?” Yoongi was stammering, throwing his hands up in a defense, while his voice sounded a little more high-pitched than usual, “Even if I did bid on him, which I totally didn’t do, so stop asking me! It’s none of your business, okay? You are getting married and that’s what we are talking about now. You and Jimin. Marriage. Yes. Not about how I bid on Jungkook for his mizuage. Is it too much to ask for a little privacy here?”

Namjoon blinked, a little bit overwhelmed by the sudden gush of words that had come out of Yoongi’s mouth. His brain had trouble catching up on the meaning of it and when it finally clicked he almost choked on nothing.

“You… no way! I just saw you in the main room when Jungkook was on stage, I never thought that…” He shook his head. Yoongi hadn’t judges him so he shouldn’t either. “Did you see who had the highest bid at the end or did you leave before that? If you want we can go there today again, check up on Jungkook and... I can tell Jimin that you lend us the money.”

“Jungkook is fine,” Yoongi nodded, ignoring Namjoon’s angry expression as if his best friend just disregarded that Jungkook had lost his virginity to a stranger. That the younger could be hurting right in this very moment. But Yoongi knew better. “He…He was with me. Because I bid on him.” Yoongi didn’t dare to look at his friend, who was looking at him in a mixture of disappointment and shock. “I was the one who took Jungkook’s virginity.”

“You...what?”

“It’s not a big deal,” Yoongi shrugged his shoulders, taking his cup of coffee to gulp the rest down hastily, “Virginity is a dumb concept made up by society. Jungkook is fine, that’s all you need to know.” Yoongi bit down on his tongue to keep himself from spilling more secrets. He wanted to keep Jungkook safe, even if that meant lying to his friend.

Namjoon couldn’t wrap his head around it. He just couldn’t. Just a few minutes ago Yoongi had lend him a massive amount of money to make sure that Jimin wouldn’t have to endure living under Hoseok’s roof any longer - and then he was telling him that he had taken part in the most violating tradition of all! Mentioning it as if it was nothing! And then Yoongi even had the audacity to play the “virginity is a concept” card which was true for a discussion about concepts, but definitely not appropriate if you literally had just slept with someone for their very first time. This... this just couldn’t be true. Yoongi must be making an awful joke. Maybe he was teasing him. Or testing their friendship or...something else. As always when he was completely overwhelmed he just kept on talking, stating facts while his emotions were balling up into an uncomfortable thing sitting heavily in his stomach.

“There’s a rumor they showed off the silk sheets after, like some kind of marriage ritual from the Middle Ages where the groom shows off the bloody sheets as proof that the marriage has been consummated.” Namjoon shook his head. It was incomprehensible to him how something degrading like this could still be common. “Looking at stained sheets after sex - that’s simply disgusting!” Yoongi was strangely quiet and so he pushed further. “You didn’t... really do that, did you?”

Yoongi shrugged his shoulders, turning away a little so Namjoon couldn’t see his face which had warning bells ring in Namjoon’s head. “Wait, tell me you didn’t!” His voice broke when the realization sunk in that this had actually happened. That Yoongi had really actually fucking done that. When he spoke again his throat was tight. “Then tell me that at least you didn’t treat Jungkook’s first time like that; like some kind of proof of how mighty you are because you had him first. Tell me you were gentle, and kind and you made him feel safe.”

Yoongi tried to smile but it came out a little off. “Don’t make such a big deal out of this, Joon. It’s a tradition. It had always been like that. And no matter if we like it or not if we don’t play along the rules then it’s Jungkook and Jimin who have to live with that. We have the luxury of making our own rules, but they... if Jungkook wouldn’t have let me have him then he would have never become a geisha. You just can't be a geisha and a virgin at the same time. It might be a stupid rule, but it is one of the basic ones and ... it’s a onetime thing! No one has to touch him ever again if he doesn't want to. He can work as a geisha or get his own tea house or marry now, depending on how much money he earns. He has options now. And all it took was one single amorality.”

Namjoon scoffed but kept his opinion to himself. “As long as he liked it and you didn’t make him bleed I guess I can’t really say anything against that.” Yoongi shrugged his shoulders again and Namjoon felt like he was going to be sick. “You didn’t, did you?!”

Yoongi bit his lip, very obviously feeling like he was getting into a fix right now, “It’s just a symbol, Joon. It doesn't mean anything.”

“A symbol? Are you... Yoongi, goddammit! No one ever touched him before you, they aren’t even supposed to have physical contact with anyone outside the house! You knew how inexperienced he was! How could you... how could you hurt him? I thought you liked him!”

“I do!” Yoongi hastily tried to defend himself without giving their secret away. He had promised that it would be safe with him but right now it wasn’t easy to not just spill the truth, so he tried to play it down which was absolutely the wrong thing to do. “It’s not... it just got a little rough, he’s fine, he just...”

Namjoon held up his hand. “Enough! I don’t want to hear your sorry excuses. How could you. I never thought... I never thought that you of all people…” His heart was aching for Kook, the sweet shy boy who had trusted Yoongi and had gotten hurt in return. He couldn't imagine how betrayed the younger must feel - or maybe he didn't even know that it wasn't supposed to be like that, that sleeping with someone you cared for meant to be safe and that there could be pleasure, not just pain. He felt guilty himself, for letting this happen and Jimin... oh Jimin would be so sad and angry at them for hurting his little Maiko. He needed to get out of there or else he would have continued to scream at Yoongi. He needed to concentrate on the good that Yoongi had literally turned Jimin’s life around with helping him and he hadn’t even thought twice. He felt like he couldn’t get the Yoongi who had just helped him and the Yoongi who was paying to hurt Jungkook on his very first night into the same picture.

He just needed to get some air before he would be sick.

Namjoon felt like he needed to do something, anything, really to show that he was sorry, so he went to Jimin. Because hurting Jungkook also meant hurting Jimin. And as he felt like he definitely couldn’t look Jungkook in the eye right now he wanted to at least give Jimin something for the younger, something to make it better - if that was even possible right now. Also, if Jungkook was hurt…then maybe he couldn’t dance, therefore didn’t make enough money and he needed to wait even longer to get out which would also affect Jimin and therefore himself and.... Namjoon could feel the headache settle in and tried not to think about it.

When he finally stood in front of Jimin he held a bag in hand that was filled to the brim. He had thought through each and every apology he could think of but in the end he still found none that expressed how sorry he was about Jungkook’s first night turning out to be like that, getting hurt by someone who was supposed to care for him. He still couldn't wrap his head around it that Yoongi would do such a thing. He should have known, when Yoongi had told him that he had bought Jungkook’s innocence that Yoongi would treat this no different than all the other power hungry, ruthless men who got off on ruining something perfect and pure for their own pleasure. He bowed deeply in front of Jimin, apologizing with a tight voice while giving him the bag. There was a cushion in it, extra soft for Jungkook to sit on when his back was hurting, relaxing tea in case he couldn’t sleep. An herbal remedy for bruises as he didn’t know how else Yoongi had hurt the boy, anti-inflammatory drugs to keep his body from getting infected which could easily happen even with minor tears in that area and cute, colorful sweets to cheer Jungkook up. He still felt awful. Nothing he bought could turn Jungkook’s first night into something pleasant and Namjoon knew that Kook would never forget it because you just... didn’t.

Especially not like this.

“I can’t tell you how much I regret that I let this happen. Please tell Jungkook that I’m sorry and that I will keep Yoongi from coming here ever again if he wants to.” Jimin looked at him in confusion and when he opened the bag his frown just deepened.

“Joon, what are you talking about?”

The older’s heart sank at the prospect of being the one to tell Jimin why he was here. He had thought that Jungkook would have confided in Jimin right away but maybe he couldn’t. He swallowed harshly before whispering, “He hurt him. Yoongi hurt Jungkook and I’m... I’m so very sorry!”

Jimin’s expression changed and now it was Namjoons turn to be confused. There was a smile on Jimin’s lips. “You mean because of the blood on their sheets? Because he made sure there would be no doubt that they had sex? Joon…”

Namjoon interrupted him immediately horror dawning on him, “Jimin this is not how it’s supposed to be! Please tell me that you don’t think that this is how it should have happened! You should treat someone you…” Jimin held up his hands to stop him, smile growing more softer, but it was still there.

“So, he didn’t tell you? He really didn’t tell you even though you probably accused him of abusing Jungkook to his face?” Namjoon felt dizzy. How could Jimin be okay with all this?

“What do you mean? Of course, I did! I am unimaginably angry at him! How…how are you not? How can you be okay with Kook…”

“He didn't do it.”

That effectively shut Namjoon up and he just blinked at Jimin in confusion until the younger explained: “He really didn't do it. I was just as worried about Kook as you even though the sheets thing is not uncommon. But other than Yoongi, Jungkook told me right away. Yoongi paid the full fee - and then told him that yes, he’d like to sleep with him but only if Jungkook wants and when he feels ready. I honestly was a little worried because as beautiful and thoughtful as that gesture is it could destroy Kook’s reputation completely if it ever comes out. Though I don't think we have to worry if he rather lets his best friend think he hurt the one he loves than breaking his promise.” Namjoon’s head was spinning.

“And... the blood?”

“A smart move actually. That way they won’t ask Kook for details as it’s proof enough on its own. He just cut his finger. And then he held Kook for the rest of the night, brushing through his hair and whispering praises into his ear. Jungkook was practically glowing the next morning with a smile that couldn’t be wiped from his face. No one will ever doubt that he’s gone through with it and is happy to be a geisha now.” Jimin was smiling brightly, taking one of the strawberries he had taken with them as they sat outside in the garden close by the pavilion where they had kissed for the first time.

“I missed you, Namjoon. I was scared you wouldn’t come back,” Jimin leaned his head against his shoulder, closing his eyes for a moment only to snap up immediately though when he realized he had now smeared white powder all over Namjoon’s shirt, trying to wipe it off. “Oh…and then I guess he didn’t tell you about the proposal either, right?”

…

The night of Jungkook’s mizuage and after Namjoon had gone; Jimin had been sitting on his bed, hands folded together, while nervously tapping his foot on the ground. It was late, way too late and Jimin had been worrying so badly about what had happened to Jungkook and about Namjoon. His thoughts had been running wild with endless possibilities - until the younger finally showed up.

Jungkook felt a little dizzy - from happiness. Yoongi had just said goodbye to him, with a kiss and a look in his eyes that was so soft Jungkook was about to start crying again. Though he had cried enough that night. His eyes were still teary and red, but he just couldn't help himself. The moment it had sunken in that Yoongi wanted to marry him to bind their lives together forever in love and trust and everything he had ever hoped for he had just broken down. And Yoongi had been there to catch him, to hold him calming him down with ��I love you’s’ and the sweetest promises Jungkook could ever think of.

How he would show him the world and take him as he was, they would explore what Jungkook liked and what he didn’t, what hobbies he might enjoy and what his favorite food was. The younger felt as if he had walked through a door last night and ended in a dream world that was everything he ever wished for.

He had sneaked out when they had come to clean up after Yoongi, taking the sheets with them. He had felt their looks on his skin and blushed heavily, but they hadn’t asked anything or talked to him in any way, just nodded their approval and then let him go. He needed to see Jimin, right now, or else he might burst from all the happiness inside.

“Jimin?” He knocked and barely waited for something affirmative from the other side of the door before barging in, closing the door behind him and then sinking down at Jimin's feet to bury his head in the others lap like they did sometimes, when Jungkook wanted Jimin to card through his hair and calm him. He just couldn’t sit properly right now and talk about this normally when his whole world had just turned on its axis.

“Hey,” Jimin instinctively reached out for him, soothing over his hair and holding Jungkook softly. “Are you okay?” It was a simple question, one that Jimin spoke so calmly that it surprised himself with the storm that was raging in his heart and mind. But he needed to know if Jungkook was alright, if he was hurting if he needed anything from him or if he just wanted to sit like this for the rest of the night. He didn’t care.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Jungkook sniffled, the tears coming again when he remembered how scared he had been just to feel this endless rush of relief when Yoongi came in and then gave him back control over the situation. “It... it was Yoongi who bought me and at first I thought he would just have sex with me, but... but...” His voice broke and he took a deep breathe, wiping the tears off his face to speak properly. He had never understood why sadness and joy brought the same reaction when it got too much and he pouted as it was kind of ruining the happy mood right now.

Reaching out for the young geisha, Jimin lifted the youngers chin to make him look at him. “Y-Yoongi? He didn’t want...w-what did he do, Jungkook?” Jimin was fearing the worst right now, his thoughts spiraling out of control, not really getting that Jungkook was crying because he was happy. But Namjoon had said, Yoongi liked Jungkook - that they would protect the younger. “What happened? He didn’t hurt you, right?”

Jungkook shook his head at that question and then broke into tears all over again, sniffling in between as he managed to get out, “He... he proposed to me, Minnie! He told me that he would ... marry me and he didn’t…we didn’t have sex. He realized... how... how scared I was and said he wouldn’t do it like that but... he still... still wants me and.. Minnie, he said he loves me! Can you imagine that? He... he loves me and he can get me out and no one will ever control me... ever... ever again!”

Jimin gasped, pushing a hand onto his mouth – and still he couldn’t stop the tears from rolling. He instantly reached for Jungkook and embraced him in the tightest hug, feeling how shaken the younger was. It was everything Jimin could have hoped for and more. All he wanted was for Jungkook to get out of here and now it was about to come true. And if Jungkook was safe…then Namjoon could come and get him as well.

Jimin closed his eyes, the sobs taking over as he kept holding the younger just a little tighter. “Of course, he loves you! Who doesn’t love you! You’re the sweetest geisha that has ever graced the earth,” Jimin mumbled with a soft giggle, leaving a few soft kisses on the younger’s cheek, while soothing over his back, “You’ll be out of here soon. I told you…I told you it’s going to be alright.”

They were holding each other, crying together and washing away everything that they had kept inside. All the insecurity and tension, the lost dreams and fragile hint of hope, the bottled up emotions and disappointments - everything just broke its way out. When the tears finally dried up Jungkook felt relieved as if he only weighted half of his weight, the pressure on his chest gone so he could breathe more freely. He also was exhausted though. He had slept a little last night, but not much and he ached for a long, deep sleep - and to wake up to the knowledge that it was still true; that Yoongi would propose and take him home with him.

Jimin had helped him up and into the bed with him, neither of them letting go off each other. Jungkook fell asleep almost immediately, snoring softly in the geisha’s hold while he was playing with his hair. Jimin smiled at the thought of Yoongi proposing to the younger, wondering how it had happened if the other had been on one knee or if he just had told him – just like Namjoon had done it. Biting his lip, Jimin looked down at the sleeping boy, tracing the lines of his face softly.

He hadn’t told Jungkook about Namjoon’s visit, just as much as he had never told him anything else bad that had happened. He knew that Jungkook would scold him for staying when he had a way out of here immediately. But now that he was sure Jungkook would be out of here soon, whether it was through working his debt off quickly or Yoongi paying everything and marrying him right away – he didn’t care -, Jimin dared to dream again.

...

Namjoon plucked a strawberry away from Jimin’s heap. “That idiot.” His voice was fond and sweet. “You know I told him that I proposed to you. And I expected for him to be shocked and everything, but he was absolutely fine with it. Now I know why: he had just proposed to Jungkook himself. But he couldn’t tell me, probably because he was afraid to say too much and spill Kook’s secret. I knew it! I knew he had a soft spot for Jungkook. And I’m glad it turned out that it’s even more than that.” Words lingered on his tongue, those who would tell Jimin that Yoongi had lend him the rest of that money that he needed to buy him out of here. But suddenly he got shy. He had proposed to Jimin so shortly ago. Maybe he should wait a little longer before bringing it up again. He should probably let Jimin cope, there’d be so many changes now. And who knew when exactly the two would marry. He could wait. And then, after Jungkook would have left the tea house then he could ask again. That would probably be for the best. He bit his lip, nonetheless, still itching to just blurt it out and ask Jimin again.

“Don’t call him an idiot, Namjoon!” Jimin softly nudged his side, giggling quietly. Reaching out for one of the napkins, Jimin put a finger under Namjoon’s chin to turn his head around. “You’ve got strawberry juice all over you.” The geisha smiled at him fondly and cleaned it up with a featherlight touch. “I’d kiss you if I could right now.” He added in a whispery tone, not wanting anyone else around to hear although they were pretty far off from the usual spots the other geisha’s took their clients in the garden. “If…If Yoongi is marrying Jungkook. If he is taken care of then…,” Jimin began to speak as he set the napkin down again, playing with the hem of his robe nervously. “W-will you…will you come back?”

Namjoon couldn’t help the smile from spreading all over his face. Just like the warm, fuzzy feeling that was spreading inside of him until it filled up his whole chest. “Why? What should I come back for?” He asked, playing dumb. “If Yoongi and Jungkook won’t be here anymore - then what will there be that’s worth coming for me here? I can’t think of anything; honestly.”

Jimin’s eyes widened but his expression soon turned into a smile. “But I am here,” He pursed his lips into a pout, sulking prettily. “But you’re right…watching Yoongi and Jungkook being in love and all…lovey-dovey at work…at home…and everywhere else, when you’re all alone, is probably better anyways.”

“You will be here?” Namjoon feigned surprise, “But why would you? I didn’t think you’d want to come back here after you moved out. But sure, if you want to we can go there together. I actually wanted to ask you for a favors regarding that anyway...” He wiped off his mouth and then placed the napkin aside. Jimin could swear that his heart had jumped right out of his chest in that moment. He blinked the tears away hastily, trying not to show how much it meant to him that Namjoon still thought about getting him out of here. “A favor?” Jimin shifted a little closer, seeking the warmth the other always provided for him, “What is it that you need?”

Namjoon left the joking aside and turned towards Jimin. His eyes were soft but his face serious as he was about to ask something very personal and uncomfortable of Jimin. “I wanted to ask you if you... if you could think that maybe... you could tell the others in the tea house. About what happened to you.” He could see Jimin’s eyes widening and his body tensing up in defense and he took his hand, squeezing it reassuringly. “Just listen to me please. You don’t have to give me an answer right away just.. I talked to a lawyer, as I said I would. And they told me that even though he is sorry about what happened we can’t... we don’t really have a chance at winning a case. Because we don’t have proof. And I hate that Hobi will just get away like that, but I don’t want you to get through any of this again, not even for getting ‘proof’. So, I wanted you to talk to the boys living here, tell them what Hobi did so that they are warned and then tell them that if he ever tries something with them then they can call me, anytime. And together we will get proof and Hobi in jail.“

“Joon,” Jimin cupped his cheeks, not knowing what to say anymore. He took a few deep breaths before answering, “O-okay…but no word to Jungkook. I need you to promise me that.” Jimin gulped heavily, his hands shaking from the sudden anxiety that overwhelmed him. “J-just give me a bit time, okay?”

Namjoon nodded, squeezing Jimin’s hand again. He hadn’t expected Jimin to agree right away. After all, Jimin had kept it a secret since it had happened, telling no one but him. It must be a scary thought to open up - but it might be what kept the other young boys in the tea house safe. If they knew they had help if they knew that they had to look out maybe none of them got hurt. Hobi might even get wind of it that if he ever tried to touch one of the boys again he would be in jail quicker than he could make up a lie. Maybe an anonymous letter would do…

“You’ve got all the time in the world. We only plan further when Jungkook is out and he never has to know. No one has to know, ever. Except for... a therapist. As I’d really like for you to see one. Though as with everything else we’ll go at your pace. You can settle in, get comfortable, feel like home. I just want you to heal, at your own pace. And if it helps you talking about it, opening up to someone who can help you better with this than I… then I’d like for you to try please. But before that - before everything I’d like you to marry me please.” As Jimin was still sitting it was a little strange to kneel in front of him, but he still did, taking out the ring that he had bought. It was a small and delicate band, no decoration, no inscription, just a silver band to fit on Jimin’s finger.

“I figured as we more or less have a date now for when you come out it would only be appropriate for you to have something to visualize my promise to you. I kept it simple so that you can wear it at work as well. And when you’re out then we can look for our wedding rings together and you can choose whatever you like best. I’m assuming it’s still a yes?”

Jimin was completely frozen, only his eyes blinking gave away that he was still alive. His mouth stood open as he stared at the ring in front of him. “It’s perfect,” His voice sounded so small, almost timid, “Y-you are perfect.” Jimin’s lip began to tremble, tears spilling over. “Of course, I still want you. I always wanted you! Yes!” Jimin didn’t care about any rules anymore, but let himself fall into Namjoon’s embrace, holding on tightly and just when he was sure no one could see he placed a sweet, chaste kiss on his lips. Just one time, before he sunk back into his arms.

…

Everything just felt surreal as if he had spent each day in a dream, one unique stolen moment suspended in time when he was with Namjoon. And every day brought him a bit closer to him – until he would come back and take him home.

But Namjoon didn’t come back. Not the following week, or the one after.

Jimin had waited to see his name on his appointment list, but there was no ‘Kim Namjoon’…just everyone else but the one he wanted to see so desperately. Jungkook passed him on his way up to the tearooms with a smile, practically glowing in his geisha attire and it was enough for Jimin to know that Yoongi was there again.

Jimin smiled back at the younger, separating from him and going into a different direction.

Jungkook didn’t need him anymore and now that the young geisha was almost done paying off his debt it only made Jimin awfully aware of his own state. But Jungkook wasn't to blame, only himself. He was trying to work more than usual, get more tip from the customers and even doing main room services again – even though it stressed him out completely – to pay off more of his own debt with Hoseok. He was the first one to start his shift and the last one to go. One day, Jimin had fallen asleep over the box filled with his laundry, being completely exhausted.

To Hoseok it was a fun game to watch, to see Jimin struggling just to get a glimpse of that hope again. To see him trying to keep the debt as low as possible, but it was a hopeless, tiring fight. But Jimin didn’t want Namjoon to pay more, just because he had decided to stay here and make sure Jungkook was safe until he could go. It was his own fault. And Namjoon had told him he would take care of everything else. He just needed some time to prepare it, right? It was about Jungkook first, anyways. Jimin shouldn’t worry too much about it.

But what if Namjoon wouldn’t come back for him?

What if he decided that waiting for Jimin would take too long, that it would leave him in ruins and the geisha wasn’t worth it. Jimin couldn’t blame Namjoon. He was a dancer, nothing more than that. And even though he had gotten a good education, Jimin never learned any other job than this. The contract between Hoseok and Namjoon only lasted for a month and if the businessman didn’t bring the money or prolong the contract, Jimin would get dropped – just like that.

Jimin looked down at his hand, the ring still on his finger – the only reminder he had of Namjoon’s promise. Wiping over his eyes tiredly, the geisha made his way through the darkness of the garden and into their room again. He was forcing himself to push down every bit of sadness, while the doubts were eating him alive – and still Jimin didn’t want anyone to see him struggling. In some ways he knew it was irrational, but how did one tell their heart that it didn’t need to be scared?

So, he put his mask back on, doing his job with a perfect smile, dancing with the same expression all over again and listening to Jungkook daydream about Yoongi. He smiled through the pain, urging Jungkook on to tell him more, ignoring the aching inside his chest, the jealousy that felt like it was leaving a hollow.

And sometimes, when the younger was sleeping in his arms, his head on Jimin’s chest and arms tightly wrapped around his body, Jimin just cried. Silent tears falling down onto his cheeks. Some were because he knew that he had made it, he had saved Jungkook from this and that the younger would be free from it soon. And he would be taken care of.

And about his own life, then the sadness washed over him like a wave, pulling him under and leaving him to drown. It was making him want to scream out because the pain wasn’t bearable. But then he soothed over Jungkook’s hair just a little softer, trying to stifle anything else to not wake him or started playing with the ring again. There had never been anyone protecting him, so he wouldn’t dare to bring Jungkook the same fate when he was so close to his happy end.

Sometimes Jimin wondered if this story, his life, had never been about him but all about Jungkook. Maybe it was solely about protecting the innocence and keeping him that way. But hadn’t he been innocent himself once? How did he tumble into this life? Namjoon once said it hadn’t been his fault…that nothing of what had happened should have happened in the first place.

The moment he thought about him again, his heart did a painful jump. Jimin wondered where he was right now, if he maybe couldn’t sleep as well and if he was thinking about him. Namjoon had told him, that sometimes he was going out for midnight bike rides – maybe he was doing that? Looking up at the stars? The same one’s he could see now. Jimin had never ridden a bike before. Sighing deeply, Jimin tried to close his eyes again, imagining himself riding a bike but in the end it only made him awfully aware of the things he couldn’t do. What was he even good for? He couldn’t even cook properly, and he wasn’t so sure if Namjoon was a great cook considering how clumsy he was and maybe the other didn’t even want to teach him.

Jimin was a burden. That’s all he had been from the beginning.

When Jungkook stirred in his sleep, Jimin quickly buried his face in his hair and told him to go back to sleep. From where they were lying, Jimin could see the sun slowly rising, but Jungkook needed a bit more sleep. “I’ll wake you up, but now just sleep okay,” Jimin mumbled into the younger’s hair, before closing his own eyes and trying to ignore the way his heart was hammering against his chest.

It had been two weeks since Namjoon had visited him and the more days passed, the more did Jimin lose his hope.

It was wilting away so easily, the fear of getting rejected growing bigger than believing in Namjoon’s promise – no matter how long he stared at the ring.

…

Sitting outside, Jimin was reading – or more likely he tried. He was reading over the same couple of sentences repeatedly for the last couple of minutes. He just couldn’t concentrate, his mind racing, making him feel dizzy. So, instead of reading ahead, he closed it and put the book aside. Leaning his head against the wall, Jimin let the sun shine directly on his face and although he easily got a sunburn, he didn’t mind the heat right now. He almost dozed off, his tired mind slipping when a happy yell made him jerk his head up, his eyes searching for the source of it.

“I got it! Jimin,I finally got it! The paper! This is it! I got it” Jungkook was running towards him, bunching up his silk robe with one hand so that he wouldn’t fall over his own geisha attire. He was waving wildly with a paper, his face beaming so much that Jimin could see it from where he was sitting.

The geisha was up on his feet right away, ignoring the shiny spots that appeared and the dizziness he felt and instead ran ahead to get to Jungkook. His own doubts were far gone, because nothing else mattered right now. “You made it,” Jimin whispered, taking the paper from Jungkook to read over them quickly before he jumped in happiness, hugging the younger. “Yoongi must be on his way now! You should go and sign it now!” Jimin squealed, urging the younger to move, “Go! Go! I’ll go and pack your things…and…and you go and sign this…then…then when he’s here you can leave right away. No one will hold you back.” Jimin took in a sharp breath, when the realization settled in that he would let Jungkook go today. With a smile, he nodded into the direction of Hoseok’s office, “What are you waiting for?”

Jungkook hesitated. “I just... wanted to tell you and now... I don’t really know what to do.” His doe eyes were wide and dark, a little worry mixed into all the happiness. “I don’t feel good leaving you here. I know it won’t be for long and that Namjoon will be here soon, maybe even tomorrow but... I don’t want you to be alone.” He took Jimin’s hand and held it a little too tight. “I’m gonna miss you, so, so much, Jimin. You’re my family. And you always will be.”

They hadn’t talked about any of this yet, fantasizing and dreaming about the happy aspects of their future while leaving out completely that they wouldn’t live together any longer. Of course, they would see each other all the time with Yoongi and Namjoon being friends and owners of the same company and living close to each other. And yet it would be a big change. “Promise me that you will call whenever you want to see me, no matter when and where?” He took Jimin’s other hand as well and squeezed both of them, “And we will have sleepovers when our... our husbands are away on business” He giggled at the word husband because it still got him shy. “And we will have breakfast together, the four of us every Sunday. And I need to see you at least five times a week. Okay?”

“I’m not alone,” Jimin answered with a smile, although inside he was crumbling, ignoring the pain he had felt the past weeks, nodding at everything he said. He stiffened when Jungkook talked about ‘their’ husbands, when Jimin had never told him about Namjoon’s proposal or his promise. Jungkook just believed in the good.

“I-I know I always have you, please don’t worry about me, Jungkook.” He squeezed the younger’s hand lightly, “I’ll be there with you soon but until then please be happy. If you smile, then I smile.” Jimin soothed over Jungkook’s cheeks, his eyes flickering onto the ring on his finger, before he quickly retreated it again. “I promise you…and now go!” Jimin laughed, pushing the younger lightly into the direction.

Jungkook hugged Jimin once again, a sudden, happy hug from all the joy he felt inside before he finally ran off. He had felt awful about leaving Jimin behind so one night Yoongi had told him a secret and had him promising that he wouldn’t ask Hobi or Namjoon anything about it. Apparently Namjoon wanted to marry Jimin as well though for whatever reason they had to wait for a while longer.

Jungkook just hoped Namjoon would keep to his promise and also hurry up a little.

He didn’t want Jimin to be alone. If necessary he would come to the tea house every day at Jimin’s lunch break to make him smile until Namjoon had sorted out whatever was stopping him to take Jimin with him. It was probably the money. Jungkook bit his lip, thinking to himself that the moment he got a job he would start saving his earnings to give to Namjoon so that he could buy Jimin out of there just like Yoongi had with him. The older had refused when Jungkook had offered to pay him back but Jungkook thought about doing it anyway. After Jimin was free of course. But right now, he needed to sign the papers, give them back to Hoseok and then… then he could go with Yoongi to spend his first night outside of the tea house since more than a decade.

Jimin’s heart was aching as he watched Jungkook run off, almost stumbling over the doorstep and shooting him a smile as if to reassure him that he was fine. The geisha smiled back at him, before he turned on his heel, grabbed his book and returned to their room. Taking the bag from their closet, Jimin put it down onto Jungkook’s bed side looking around the room to look for the things he could pack. There wasn’t much: except for their normal day clothes and daily robe and a few personal essentials they barely had anything. When he lifted the bag, it was still light and not like he would move out, but rather just stay overnight somewhere. He plopped down onto the mattress, letting his gaze wander around for a moment until the pain became a little bit too much to endure. He took in a sharp breath, one that hurt his throat. Mindlessly, Jimin had started to play with the ring again, rotating it on his finger until his breathing calmed a little more and it didn’t felt like he was free falling into a pit dark hole.

With his smile perfectly in place and bag in hand, Jimin hurried back out again. He could already see Yoongi with his arm around the youngers waist at the garden gate, the biggest smile on both of their faces. Seeing Jungkook so happy, so close to being free was all he had needed to make joy blossom in his heart again.

Honestly, Jimin wasn’t sure how he was surviving this whiplash of emotions for weeks now. He was a mess that was for sure.

Bowing deeply in front of Yoongi, Jimin spoke up, “Thank you, Mr. Min.” He bowed even deeper, trying to hide that his eyes were tearing up from pure joy and relief that Jungkook would be safe from now on, “For everything that you did, for Kook…and for me as well. You showed yourself to be a great gentleman and best suitor for being Jungkook’s fiancé.” He didn’t plan on speaking so formerly, but Jimin felt safer using his geisha persona or else he feared it would have overwhelmed him completely.

Yoongi reached out for him, gentle touching his arm. “Jimin, there’s no need to talk to me like that. We’re friends. At least from my side. And you aren’t a geisha anymore. You don’t have to be overly polite to people. You can let yourself breathe. I’d say we all meet at my place tonight. Till then Jungkook has had the time to take a look at the apartment and decide which room he wants as his own and then we can order pizza tonight and celebrate him moving in with me. You want to come?”

Jimin only nodded at that, not sure if Yoongi knew what he was talking about. Of course, he was still a geisha. Didn’t Namjoon always say he knew more about the rules of a tea house? It was a nice thought though, so Jimin only smiled at him before turning to Jungkook. Soothing over the younger’s hair, Jimin cupped his face to place a soft kiss on the youngers cheek. “Call me tonight, will you? I bet I can make Hoseok let me use the telephone, and then you can tell me about the room…about the view out of your window and everything else, promise?” Jimin hugged Jungkook close once more, before pulling away, sniffling quietly and mumbling something about allergies. “I’m sorry I can’t come but I’m sure it’s going to be a lovely night.” The geisha turned to Yoongi and bowed in apology, “I do have to work tonight, but it would make me really happy to hear from you soon.” His voice broke a little and his hands began to shake, while Jimin tried to cover it up with an awkward wave.

“I think you’re a little over excited there, sweetheart.”

Jimin jumped a little from the sudden voice behind him and Namjoon chuckled as the younger’s eyes widened in surprise. He had practically begged Yoongi for them to drive to the tea house together as soon as he got the call from Jungkook that the papers were ready: because he didn’t want Jimin to stay there for a minute longer after Jungkook was gone and he was practically allowed to marry Jimin officially now. The last two weeks had been hell without Jimin but he still had a job and then he had cleaned out a room in his house and had tried to make it as comfortable as possible without putting pressure on Jimin because Jimin should decorate the room how he wanted and maybe he also wanted different furniture or other colors or he wanted to turn the room into a dance studio or a hobby room and... Yoongi had laughed at him a couple of times for it, saying that he was thinking too much and that they would have enough time to sort that out when Jimin was there. The rest of their lives to be precise.

“So... Jungkook is officially his own man right now. Or Yoongi’s, however you want to see it. Does that mean you are ready to come home now?”

Jimin just stared at Namjoon, mouth hanging open, his mind and heart trying to catch up. His bottom lip began to tremble, when Namjoon was talking about ‘coming home’ as if it didn’t mean the world to Jimin.

Stumbling a little, he walked up to Namjoon, reaching out for him, still not really believing this was happening.

“I’m not a geisha anymore?” He asked with a quiet voice that only Namjoon could hear, feeling his arm wrap around his waist just right when Jimin felt like the world slipped right from underneath him. “We’re going home? You and me? And we’re going to order pizza? Drink sugary coke? And I will live with you in your apartment? Sleep next to you? In your bed? Will you teach me how to ride a bike?” The questions spilled out of him so quickly, but he needed to know the answers to make sure that for once his dream had become reality, that someone had kept his promise.

Namjoon chuckled at Jimin’s cuteness, kissing him sweet and passionate now that he finally could.

“I told you we would!” Yoongi yelled in the back and then, murmuring to Jungkook “Though no bike riding in the house please. You want to ride a bike too? We can make trips on the weekends then; would you like that?” Jungkook nodded happily and then, as soon as Namjoon and Jimin had stopped kissing ran over to them to hug them from the side, pulling Yoongi along so that he stumbled into them and they were basically all hugging.

Leaning in to Jimin the younger whispered quietly so that only Jimin could hear it: “You were right all along when you told me that this all would be worth it one day. That if we stayed strong and kept going that we would find happiness. I found mine with Yoongi. And I guess Namjoon’s is yours. And even if something changes one day no one can take this moment from us. And we will always have each other. I can’t wait to find out what life will be now outside of the tea house. And I’m so glad that we’re all together.”

Jimin smiled, reaching for Namjoon’s hand to hold it tight as they followed Yoongi and Jungkook who was happily skipping. He let himself get pulled along and to their car and not once did Jimin look back. He didn’t care about his stuff that was never his to begin with. He had everything he needed right here with him. Taking a deep breath, the young man looked up at Namjoon who just opened up the car door for him to step in. His handsome face was turned towards him in smiling welcome; eyes full of love and trust. Love is a road long and hard, which makes it even more important to travel it with the right person. Love was a fight worth fighting and a victory worth having. He found it in Namjoon and found comfort and security in knowing that it would be all okay with him by his side. And no matter what the future still hold, no matter how many times he had to face Hoseok once more, he knew he wasn’t alone anymore. And if love was a choice, he would chose him, over and over again.

A/N: Another story is done :) What did you think??? We hope you enjoyed this story!! Yes, we know we don’t give too much closure on whats going to happen with Hoseok - but we can ensure you that Namjoon will go against him and make him pay but it was most important to him to get Jimin out first. And he will love Jimin forever and ever and hold him tight every night and give him everything he needs. And yes, maybe Jungkook will accidentally bump into Yoongi’s expensive vase because he tried biking in the living room. But he will still love him.

Don’t forget that I posted a new fic trailer for the next upcoming fic. A guardian angel AU with Minjoon and Yoonkook - again. Lmao, yeah. It’s just what we love writing :DD But there will be two Yoonmin stories coming out soon as well as we participated in an event. So look out for those!

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callmecayce · 6 years ago

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Happy Donghae Day!

2011 | 2012 | 2013 | 2014 | 2015 | 2016 | 2017

Today marks the seventh annual Donghae Day. That is, it’s been seven years that I’ve been a kpop fan. This year also marked my two-year anniversary at my full time job (for those who don’t know, prior to 2016, I had been working two jobs for almost nine years). Not everything has been good, the state of the world gets worse, we lost three idols from groups I love, as well as author/chef who meant a lot to me personally. But it hasn’t all been bad or sad, it has been like so much of life - full of everything.

My journey into kpop started with this post and has continued forward ever since. The links above are all of my previous Donghae Day posts, including the original reblog. This day has become more than just the simple reminder of my love of kpop. Instead it has become a celebration of the things, and the people, that I love. To me, Donghae Day, like kpop, isn’t just about the music or the idols. It’s about everything that comes with that - it’s about friends, food, love, life, and joy. It’s understanding that kpop is more than just an escape from the shittiness that is the world today. I am forever grateful for that Donghae gifset and for everything that has come after - from the music itself, to the tv shows, to the concerts, to all of the friends of I have made.

Before I get into the really fun stuff - I want to take a moment to talk about those friends. People talk shit about women who like pop music, they judge you for liking cute boys, for writing fanfic, for listening to music, going to concerts, buying plushies/albums/whatever. But none of that matters, not really. What does matter? All these people I’ve become friends with. Over the past year (Donghae Day year as well as 2018) I have made friends with so many new people - some close friends, some not - and it is wonderful. This, to me, is at the heart of what I love about kpop and is deeply important to understand why Donghae Day is so important. Of all the things I love about kpop, it is my friendships that are the single best part. So, to all of my friends (kpop fans and non fans alike), I love you all. Thank you for being amazing people. ❤️❤️

And now … the fun stuff!

So, you say, seven years? And I say: FUCK YEAH, SEVEN YEARS!!!

What has happened since last year’s Donghae Day? A LOT and sort of not much at all. Kpop-related, there were two really big events for me. One of the was that @namjoonrecyclables and I went to Chicago to see VAV! It was a fantastic concert, though we both realized that we’re getting too old (lol) to drive down to Chicago the same day as the show. It’s also the only concert we’ve been to in 2018 and our wallets are grateful. The other thing that happened was that I flew out to Colorado to see @jillwandersen after not having seen her since the concert in 2014. It was also quite a lot of fun.

A lot of smaller things have happened this year. As I said above, I’ve made new friends. I’ve also gotten into a ton of new (and not so new) groups that I am trying to learn. I also bias way too many people (the list is ever-growing). I finally admitted that my favorite groups (aside from Speed) are Seventeen and SHINee. My husband is still there, though he’s left BAP. My boyfriend list has held steady (though this may be changing - read: growing).

I also made this playlist, called Everything’s Gonna Be Okay. It’s 20 tracks long (for now) and about an hour and 12 minutes long. You can find it on YouTube and Spotify. Please, enjoy.

Last year I talked about all the nugu/underrated groups that I love - but I can’t do that this year. Not because there aren’t any, but because there are too many. I was talking to @killerzebras (also known as my sister) the other day about why I love kpop. She told me I didn’t need to justify why I loved it, but it got me thinking about what it is that keeps me loving kpop. I am really good at loving things, but it tends to be fleeting (for many reasons, most of them perfectly reasonable) - but kpop? My love for kpop appears stronger than even my love for pro-cycling, which, for a time, I thought nothing could break (that is another post for another time and probably not on here).

I think there are two huge reasons why I continue to adore kpop. The first is because of the friends I’ve made, as long as I have friends who love kpop, I will keep loving it, too - sharing is something I have slowly learned to love and, within the passed year, have worked on embracing. The second reason is that there is always new content. People often talk about the fact that their fandoms (books, movies, tv shows) only have limited content and often the endings are just that - endings. That works for some people, but not for me. Kpop is different (again, for me), it is, for now, the gift that keeps on giving. I get new groups to love (my heart is forever big enough), new idols to care about, new music to listen to, and the groups I already love give me more music. There is always, always something new to love while still loving what has already been. It’s not all unicorns and candy, sometimes it’s heartbreak, but there’s always something for me to love.

I’m sure that there are quite a few things I’ve forgotten to talk about this year, but this post is already way too long. Therefore I want to talk about two (hilarious) moments in 2018. The first is the release of Infinite’s song, Tell Me, and their comeback in January. Some of you know that for many years I was not a fan of Dongwoo, for various (and dumb) reasons. However, 2018 became the year that I turned into a Dongwoo fan.

I mean, really. How did I resist for so long? Thanks, 2018 Infinite comeback, for changing me.

The second … the second thing is something I am still embarrassed about even while having embraced it. It is something that several of my friends (especially @namjoonrecyclables) have been waiting for literally ever to happen. I have, somehow, after all these years, become a proper fan of EXO. Why, you ask? WELL, THAT’S A GREAT QUESTION. And the answer is as equally as embarrassing - it’s because of a stupid Soompi EXO quiz. You think I’m joking, but I’m not. Google said, hey you like Soompi and kpop quizzes, why don’t you take this What’s Your Relationship With EXO? quiz and I said no, but also why not. I mean, I can’t count and didn’t notice that it was just the current EXO members in the picture (it was early in the morning and I didn’t look too closely and I like quizzes … ) and so I took it and then this happened:

Look, I’m not saying it was a good idea. In fact, it was a terrible idea and I joked about it and then SM released the We Young MV with Chanyeol and Sehun and even while I love that song I joked some more because it was funny, right? Me, stanning someone in EXO just because a Soompi quiz told me to. Except … I kept joking about it and everyone who knows me knows that my biggest kpop weakness is soft rappers and @namjoonrecyclables told me (on purpose, for which I love her) that Chanyeol is a soft rapper and I was like no. But also, wait he is? And then, because I’m me, I took another quiz and it confirmed the first Soompi quiz and then I was like, this is embarrassing as fuck but why not embrace it and now, HERE I AM.

I love Chanyeol. I bias Chanyeol. And I’m an EXO fan. I think I need help because no one knows who I am anymore. But, honestly, that’s fine. So, I guess, thanks for that Soompi.

This year’s Donghae Day is on a Friday, which means it is a full-ass day packed with stuff. @namjoonrecyclables and I have both taken the day off from work (yay!). We’re watching kpop mvs and a kdrama. We’re going out to lunch and doing more of the same. Then my friend H and I are going out for dinner and to see a movie. Why? Because we can. Because it’s Donghae Day.

Seven years is a long time. It’s the seven-year curse year not for me (I hope!), but for groups that debuted the year I got into kpop. Of the ones that debuted in 2011, these are the ones I love: B1A4, Boyfriend, and Myname. Myname debuted a few weeks after I got into kpop, it’s so wild. We’re all still around, hopefully for longer than seven years.

Donghae Day is about all of this. It’s about having fun, it’s about loving the things you love so much that sometimes it hurts. It’s about doing what you love and being with people you love, and it’s about living.

I say this every year, but I don’t know where I’ll be in a year. Will I even still be a kpop fan? The trend so far seems to be yes, of course! But you can never rule anything out. Which is why I love to pour my heart into being a kpop fan. Nothing lasts for ever, but I’m going to love kpop for along as I can with as much of my heart as I can.

I want to thank you all for accompanying me on this journey - whether you’re a kpop fan or just someone in my life who tolerates my love. Thank you all and here’s to many, many more Donghae Days if that’s what the future holds for all of us.

#donghae day #donghae #kpop #dongwoo #chanyeol #yongguk #husband

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elizabethrobertajones · 7 years ago

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i love jack a lot but i don't get everyone's excitement about dean eventually adopting him. like why would you want to force him into another parental role with a kid with unstable powers JUST when he's escaping his role with sam? i'm not accusing you or anything i'm just really really frustrated at fandom's mentality

Yeah, there’s some good posts around discussing the various metaphorical and direct representations of the bad family dynamics going on here. I think it’s possible to enjoy and dislike the same thing from different angles. I LOVE Jack choosing Cas as his father and setting his personal compass by Cas. It’s perfect. But for Cas’s sake I’m genuinely skeeved out by it because of the way Jack(’s powers) latched onto him from the womb and that it is basically what I figured all along - that Jack himself is an innocent sweetie pie because he has a soul and he is therefore gifted free will and a blank slate to be what he wants and is at the very least not inherently evil…

But his powers still did something because of his increased awareness and powers in the womb that I don’t like, which is… convincing… Cas to be his guardian. Cas being forced into the dynamic is one of the metaphorical parallels to the brothers’ issues which I’ve enjoyed the meta about, because of course Cas can still love Jack and all and have meant it because I don’t think he wasn’t acting from the heart in 12x23 because have you met Cas, that was a classic example of his heart on display. And I’m actually hoping they do have a sweet dynamic when Cas gets back. But I still don’t like HOW it happened, in the exact same way I really dig sweet moments between Sam and Dean which don’t have the complicated baggage, but I can still be uncomfortable about romanticising other parts of their relationship, and critical of how Dean was forced to parent Sam…

So yeah. Anyway, I think the thing with Dean and Jack is that it’s the goal - Sam already likes Jack and wants to give him a chance. Cas has his connection to him already and it’s unlikely he’ll hate Jack on his return :P Dean is not wrong to be upset and critical based on the information he has like @k-vichan‘s post I just recently reblogged was explaining (Sam hasn’t even told him on camera that Jack said that Cas is his father which means until we get past the point of disbelief that he hasn’t said it off-camera that’s still something we might find out later from Dean’s POV to affect how he feels about him. Although I’m usually careful not to get over-attached to what hasn’t been said on camera in case the writers start assuming it’s obvious they shared it and leave an emotional gap… But this is such a big thing it might HAVE to be said on screen or else be a gap.)

Like… Obviously the emotional hook for “coming to like Jack” is something that falls on Dean to have while the others are already seeming to be clear on it. He’s the obstacle - the thing standing between Jack and a happy families thing (so it might be a long haul or Dean is just starting to warm up when things go bad either with Cas’s return or something that happens with Jack for what will be a frankly bizarre season if they don’t tease him ~going dark~ to test him at some point). It’s like a will they won’t they on Dean liking Jack :P

And I think that in this case it’s not forcing anything on Dean when he comes to NATURALLY adopt random youngins and other hapless friends (like Garth, tbh :P) but that he has to want to do it and it is something he does instinctively because he’s a nurturer and has a caring soul. Maybe because of the Sam stuff but it’s not weird when he does it to, like, Krissy or something. It’s one of his softer traits but in this case it has mytharc relevance, since Jack is, WE can tell, really sweet, but Dean is in no position to see him for what he is, which may compromise them looking after him, and even if Jack is sweet and squishy right now, he has cosmic powers and intentionally or not he’s going to be dangerous on a huge level even if it’s just for drawing attention. I think Dean coming to like him will play a big part in reconciling this whole situation just because he’s the one who instinctively doesn’t like Jack already. And that’s something where he’s messed up with grief and hasn’t seen anything to convince him Jack isn’t a problem, so it’s set up to be a bigger struggle for him.

And that probably also plays into Dean as the emotional centre of the show - that Sam is usually dealing with the plot stuff head on, while Dean is the filter we struggle with it through. I think Dean not trusting Jack is another way of drawing out uncertainty and tension about Jack in the narrative. Is Sam wrong to trust him? Is there still something hinky between Jack and Cas? Will Jack turn bad? Even if it’s seeming quite clear that Jack is not as bad as Dean thinks by far, and Sam’s made the right call here, to go with his confidence in leadership and standing up for himself arc, playing the reconciliation to Jack’s presence in their lives through Dean is giving us (or, well, the surface level read of the show, which I pay as much attention to as I can out of curiosity as a writer about stringing appearances and cheap drama out of more complex stories and I watch the episodes from the POV of “what is the show trying to tell us” before “what can I read into this”) a more drawn out exploration of who and what Jack is and the conclusion on what his character can be.

And I think that means Dean will be challenging Jack too, and always probably be more on the side of checking if he really is what he seems or second-guessing his actions etc. It will give Jack something to grow and fight against, especially since people HATE letting Dean down and Dean is the moral centre of the show when it comes to love, humanity, what is the right thing to do, the free will choice, just generally a beacon of these themes. If Jack has to win Dean’s approval, it’s going to be a complex and satisfying story and a good way of proving we can definitively trust him. Not because Sam makes bad choices or because Jack doesn’t already seem like a good guy, but just because Dean has Standards which are so high you can define and navigate the story by them. Like Cas rebelling in 4x22. Or on the flip side, 6x20.

This is all kinda wishy washy stuff for later in the season that what we already have, though, and I don’t know how thoroughly others have thought it through or if I am missing some really obvious lines of thought here myself, but I don’t think the instinctive reaction that people are wishing Dean adopts Jack is all just forcing a new child on him, or that people think Dean shouldn’t come to that choice himself, and approve of Jack for real reasons. One of the short posts out there about it that I like is a line of spec that Dean will start to like Jack after he does a Benny - does something to save or help Cas that Dean can’t deny Jack is good any more after seeing. That’s not just wishing another child to look after on Dean, that’s a complicated series of Dean recognising Jack’s potential to be good and understanding him better or now having a motivation to reach out to him.

And I do personally find it kind of creepy to be super gung ho about Jack as any of their children - Cas for the reasons I already said although I like it for Jack and would be open to Cas being cool with it :P But Sam and Dean as well because I think there’s a lot of point scoring going on with who gets to parent Jack like it’s a token or trophy for them, unlocking a whole bunch of parent headcanons and also, and I know it’s weird to say about a 1 day old baby, infantilising Jack. I think he’s already starting to get an idea of the more complex stuff and a lot of his literal born yesterday mannerisms will disappear as he gets older, since he has an adult intellect to deal with the world, so I’m very curious about his character growth.

I think it’s just a fandom thing to be eager for the main characters you care about to have fun relationships and the idea of just giving them a kid can be appealing to some people, but it kinda weirds me out. I saw a gifset of the father reveal to Sam captioned with “Sam realises he’s an uncle” and I like that a lot more because it emphasises his brother relationship to Cas, and puts Jack in that context to him. I think since Jack said Cas is his father, “parenting” just means “we are responsible for guiding this young soul” not “I will be his father” and Sam and Dean are basically his uncles, not surrogate fathers, and I’m pretty much just gonna treat it that way, personally, since it’s less skeevy to me. That’s a YMMV thing, though, so I’m not saying you can’t enjoy the dad TFW stuff, I just don’t wanna :P

(The Claire stuff was different since they didn’t have a whole bunch of responsibility over her and the episodes she was in never made it weird, and it was a side storyline… With this it’s all such high tension it sort of feels to me like I need to draw much stronger lines, especially since with all the fatherhood parallels some/all of TFW are going to be examined through being John at some point or another… There is a LOT more going on with Jack that makes it complicated and fraught :P)

So… uh… tl;dr… I have no idea if I’m even answering your original thought any more :P Idk about the wider fandom of crack posts and cracky art, but I think the meta folks I follow are not being too weird about it or will at least entertain all the posts being critical or introspective about these dynamics and I think some crack posts are just made in the spirit of fun, though it doesn’t help NOT give the impression everyone’s gaga for dad TFW and not being very considerate of the deep dark meta stuff and character angst going on… :P

#Asks #nougat winchester #dean analysis #season 13 speculation #I still kinda hate spec but at least I've got the grounding of knowing how #13x01 #played out... which makes me a bit more confident making a few stabs in the dark :P

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terrencellovesyou · 8 years ago

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It’s time for one of my wonderful rants

I was bored ~still am by the way~ and I decided to go through both the anti-Dair and anti-Chair tags on Tumblr. Well, it has been a while since I’ve decided that I wanted to write my opinion on all of this, but with university and my internship, time wasn’t really something I had. Anyway, if you are bored as well and want to read what I’m about to say, I would be thrilled, especially if any of you have any opinion on it, regardless of who you ship.

So, Gossip Girl first episode came out almost 10 years ago, yeah I know, and I still watch it periodically. I first started watching the show when I was 11 years old and I instantly became obsessed. As the years went by I matured, when through all kinds of life experiences (especially in the last couple years) that made me view some aspects of the show differently. Since my Tumblr name is waldorfbasss you can infer that I ship Chair.

As I said, I was bored and went through both tags to read people`s opinions on both relationships, analyzing what Chair shippers thought of Dair and Chair, and vice-versa. It was clear that both sides are completely biased and I could say that Dan and Blair shippers are a little more delusional (I promise I’m not being partial, or at least I’m trying not to be). Why do I say that? Because if you go on the anti-Chair tag, one of the first posts you’ll see is a gifset comparing the terrible things Chuck has said to Blair to the good ones Dan said. I think it’s valid, honestly, but let’s not forget to do the comparison for both sides. I thought I had seen a gifset doing exactly that, but I did not find it, but anyway. You can point out things in a way that is more beneficial to prove your point, and that works for basically anything in life. Chuck did his share of dreadful things to Blair, I’m not even gonna try to deny that, but so did Dan, and worse, he was supposed to be older and presumably, more mature and he always pretended to be better.

There are two key points when it comes to Chair critics: Chuck was abusive and a horrible person, who manipulated Blair and made her be less than she was. First things first, I don’t know how many times I’ll have to say this but BLAIR WALDORF WAS NEVER A FUCKING SAINT. It amazes me how people in general forget who was the most manipulative and bitchy character in Gossip Girl and try to put on Chuck all the blame of being a “horrible person”. I’m not defending Chuck at all, especially when it comes to the Empire/Blair trade and the “you are mine” + accidently hurting her with glass. Both attitudes were despicable and way worse than anything Dan has done, but (yeah there’s a but), those were clear mistakes that he later on apologized for (and was forgiven), and most importantly, did not commit again, or anything remotely close to that. In spite of these two “episodes” Chuck and Blair’s relationship was not abusive. Yes, you read it write. If you don’t believe me just google “abusive relationship”. I’m not saying, though, that it was one hundred percent healthy or that those two very specific moments were not abusive. You can say Chuck was manipulative, but so was Blair. This was actually a trait that they liked about each other, together with their games and schemes. Since we mentioned the two horrible things Chuck did to Blair, I should also point out when Blair was blatantly abusive to Chuck. Do you guys remember when Chuck was dating Eva and minding his own business, when Blair did everything she could to put Eva down and destroy their relationship, just because Chuck was happy with someone who was not her? Or when Blair made him wait for her while she dated Dan? They were both abusive assholes to one another in specific scenarios and extremely manipulative on a regular basis (as said before, they weren’t in a healthy relationship for some of the time), but they both were and at first they didn’t mind, but later decided to grow out of it.

Argument number two: Chuck was a horrible person. There are a lot of things to say about this, inside and outside of the tv show context. It’s obvious that he abused two girls (Serena and Jenny) trying to rape them both on the pilot, but that was a fucking pilot, he even had a mother and rode the bus, so. I’m not trying to excuse him on this one, but when saying thigs like that, the whole context should be taken into consideration. He was still a pig on season one and on other occasions, but, fortunately, he matured and changed (I know, right? Unbelievable that people can actually change wow). Chuck was a horrible person, but he started to change and mature during season four and five, and it’s clear by the end of this extremely bad written tv show, that he had become a better person (by the way, best character development on the show). People change, grow up and mature (eventually), even if it is for worse, which was Dan’s case.

It’s ridiculous hearing people say Blair was weak around Chuck and that her goals revolved around him solely. Blair was strong and independent since day one, she never bowed herself for men (except when she dated Dan, an OOC moment). Season six was a mess, but don’t get me started on how much Chuck encouraged Blair on everything and I quote “Don't let anyone tell you you're not powerful. You're the most powerful woman I know.”. What a horrible selfish prick.

I wanna start off by talking about myself and my personal experience to justify what I’m about to say. As I mentioned before, I was 11 when I started watching Gossip Girl and I never kissed anyone until I was 18 and that guy ended up being my boyfriend for two and a half years. So, before the end of 2014 I didn’t even know what kissing was, let alone the dynamic of a relationship. Being broken up now for four months after two and a half years with someone, I can base a lot on my personal experience. As soon as I broke up I started rewatching GG for the 17th time and when Dair started happening I actually didn’t think they were as bad as I thought before [being in an actual relationship]. Not once, though, I liked it or thought it was cute, but I understood Blair a little better. If I had a friend like Dan was to Blair, I would probably give him a chance after my relationship ended, because I was fragile and missing having someone there.

The things I’m about to say, therefore, are based on what I saw of Dan and Blair’s relationship and on my personal experience. There are many things about Dair that are delusional and unrealistic (that I will gladly accept responses on) and with Dan himself. Again, first things first. Blair was in a really bad emotional place when she started dating Dan and that was so wrong and unfair to him, because, as you can see later, he fell for her and loved her, but she didn’t, she just needed someone to help her bounce back on her feet and he was there. The relationship started wrong right dair (got it?). Many of the Dair shippers defend that they were equals and that they liked the same stuff and, therefore, were perfect for each other. Well, trust me when I say that having things in common is not enough, especially when you are completely different people. Someone once said that Blair went from being an Audrey Hepburn fan to being a cult movie and art aficionado and I agree. This “common interest” was molded and created so that they would have something to bond over when they became friends, but even if we let the horrible writing aside, I’ll repeat, having things in common is not enough to neither make a relationship work or maintain a “good” relationship, let alone make it perfect. When you have different life perspectives, dreams and values it’s pretty damn hard to put those aside to consider only the points you think are good, and that happened a lot with Dair. Blair didn’t want to go to Rome for multiple reasons, but imagining that she did want to go, don’t you think that she would like to stay on the best hotel, eat at the most exclusive places and shop whenever she had the chance? And it’s clear to me that Dan would not be a fan of those things. As to the being equals part I don’t have to say much, I’ll just take Blair’s words from season six “tasks are for minions and Dan Humphrey”. They were not equals and definitely didn’t see each other as such.

What gets me the most about this relationship is that Dan never truly loved Blair Waldorf. As I mentioned before, Dan said his amount of shitty things to/about Blair, and he thought he was right. Dan built in his mind what he wanted Blair to be, cutting of all of the things he didn’t like and pretending they didn’t exist. He fell in love with Claire, his character from Insider. It was nothing other than an idealistic Blair that he manufactured to be what he wanted, but who in the real world had a lot of the flaws he despised.

Another aspect that is really interesting to me is how can people say that Chuck was horrible and put Dan on a “great guy” pedestal? Did you forget that he manipulated everyone around him? He was Gossip Girl for fucks sake. It was sociopathic the way he maneuvered the scenarios and planted the gossip that was good for him, such as posting that video on Blair’s wedding and posing as the victim, so she would think Chuck had done it and go running back to him for support. I’m not talking exclusively about Blair in here. Dan was creepy and in the end the most disturbing thing about GG’s finale was how easy everyone accepted the fact that he was manipulating information, plotting and using people to get what he wanted. Regardless of Dair, Dan was the worst character in the show, since season one, only getting worse with time.

I could go on and on about both relationships, but I just wanted, on this post, point out the mainly points I saw on those two tags. I am pretty aware of all the flaws Chuck and Blair’s relationship had, but one thing people don’t seem to get is that they were both disturbed and dark, but they matured and changed. They are extremely alike in more ways than one. I hate that people forget how bad Blair is and blame it all on Chuck. As for Dan and Blair, they just didn’t match and the only thing they had in common was their love for movies. The same way all relationships have flaws, theirs did as well, and quite a lot, mostly because of the fact that Dan loved Claire and Blair loved Chuck. She was fragile and lost after losing Chuck and the baby, and then Louis; she needed someone and Dan was there, she used him (unconsciously of course). Dan on the other hand wanted to be Blair’s savior, like he wanted to be for Serena.

One thing I like to make pretty clear: Chair should not be relationship goals. Serena once said, “two wrongs make a twisted right”. Twisted right describes them perfectly, they are dark twisted and troubled, but somehow, they are right for each other. Chuck evolved and matured and so did Blair, but neither are examples of great people. Nor is their relationship an example of healthy. Their evolution, though, is something to take into consideration. The way they wanted to be equals and have their minds set and focused on the relationship is awesome. Their relationship, especially in the end, has great lessons, both good and bad.

We are adults and should be able to spot the differences between fiction and reality, to be able to see what’s wrong on tv and try not to mimic in real life. This serves for all the relationships, not only the ones involving Blair or Gossip Girl.

#chuck and blair #blair and chuck #chuck x blair #blair x chuck #blair waldorf #chuck bass #gossip girl #anti chair #anti dair #Dan Humphrey #dair

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