#am i going to post and reblog every one of their dances onto my blog? uhh it appears so | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

mcfiddlestan · 2 years ago

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I posted 9,799 times in 2022

92 posts created (1%)

9,707 posts reblogged (99%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea

@bouncydragon

@thekaiqueen

@maeve-curry-writes

@clintfbarton

I tagged 2,079 of my posts in 2022

#loki - 177 posts

#tony stark - 135 posts

#tom hiddleston - 102 posts

#frostiron - 84 posts

#sebastian stan - 79 posts

#bucky barnes - 60 posts

#chris evans - 44 posts

#steve rogers - 38 posts

#the essex serpent - 32 posts

#moon knight spoilers - 29 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃😃🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀👀😀😀😀

My Top Posts in 2022:

I hope Sebastian Stan gets to hang out with his crush, Tom Hiddleston at the BAFTAs.

23 notes - Posted March 13, 2022

I have been trying for about three days to write a smut scene between Bucky and Loki.

A lot of factors have contributed to this situation. My own frustrating block — I haven’t been able to write for the past three months. Lack of focus? Maybe. Mind blank? For sure.

Also since it’s smut, I need to be in a position to kind of picture it — like a movie in my mind (which, tbh, is how I write everything. I’ve had people tell me it’s easy to picture what I write bc of the way I write it. Now you know why). And that’s hard to do when parents are interrupting every five minutes asking for pills or help with making food/getting up/any mundane activity that they are both getting too weak to do on their own. And of course the nephew. Who just wants my attention. Because…I’m Nina and the closest thing he has to a Mommy.

Anyway….just thought I’d vent my frustration. Thanks for listening and here’s a snippet to what I’m working on…

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Loki was in the middle of the living area, standing before a large easel, swiping a paint brush furiously across it. He was barefoot, his black hair pulled up into a messy knot on top of his head, his worn-looking button-up shirt and loose-fitting sweatpants splattered with various colors of paint.

Bucky watched him for a moment, mesmerized by the intensity of his movements. It was like a violent dance. If there had been a way to punch the paint on the canvas, Bucky had no doubt Loki would have excelled at doing it. After a few moments, he remembered why he was there and crossed over to the stereo, lowering the volume to a level they would be able to hear each other over. Loki didn't bother to acknowledge Bucky's presence; he barely paused his movements, continuing to add more colors to his creation.

“Hey,” Bucky finally spoke up. Loki didn't respond, so Bucky took a step closer, studying the painting over his shoulder. “What's it supposed to be?” he asked quietly.

“I don't know yet,” Loki muttered under his breath.

“Look, I know you're busy…”

“That I am.”

Bucky swiped a hand over his forehead, carding his fingers through his hair. “Could you take a break for a second?”

Loki gave the canvas one more violent swipe of a bright red streak before stepping back, looking over his work. Bucky wondered if it was done yet. Judging by the way Loki scoffed at it and dumped his brush in a cloudy mason jar of water, he thought maybe not. Loki grabbed a hand towel and a bottle of what looked like oil, dampened the towel with it then dragged a stool away from its spot by the table. He dropped onto it, and lifted his eyes to settle on Bucky's, as he began to scrub at his hands.

Unsure why, Bucky expected Loki to say something first, but instead, for a few long moments, they just stared at each other. Until Loki finally gestured at him.

“Are you going to speak?”

“Yes. Sorry. Um.” He cleared his throat and rubbed at the nape of his neck. “So, I owe you an apology. For this morning.”

Loki said nothing, and made no movement but to continue scrubbing at his skin. Bucky swiped at the hair falling over his face, feeling more anxious than he expected. Especially with Loki's unflinching gaze directly on him.

“I admit, I jumped to conclusions.” He shrugged his shoulders when Loki still had no reply. “Obviously, I understand now that you were just trying to help.”

“I did help.”

“Right.”

“I picked you up off the floor, passed out in a corner, and put you in a more comfortable spot – which is how you ended up in your bed.”

“Y…yes.” Why did he suddenly feel like he was being scolded?

“I made sure you were safe and what did I get in return? Accusations and assumptions.”

“I know! I'm – Jesus, Loki, I'm saying I'm sorry here.”

“But for what are you sorry, James?” Bucky wasn't sure he was supposed to answer that. Thankfully, Loki continued, answering for him. “Insulting me? Or embarrassing yourself?”

Loki was more observant than Bucky gave him credit for. There were not many in this world who could call him on his bullshit. In fact, before Loki, there had only been one. His jaw clenched while he worked up the nerve to answer, “Both?”

After a beat, Loki scoffed lightly, and looked away as he tossed the rag to the table. Bucky tensed more. “If you're done then…”

“Hey, come on.” Bucky rushed forward, drawing up short when Loki whipped around again. He swallowed. Something about Loki being angry was strangely…attractive. He shrugged his shoulders, unsure of what else to do. “Haven't you ever made a mistake? I'm owning up to it, aren't I? The least you could do is accept it.”

Loki took a step forward, and it took all of Bucky’s strength not to retreat. “The least you could do is tell me exactly why you're sorry. Are you that unused to kindness? I'm not often that nice to people, so I thank you for helping me regret it.”

For a moment, Bucky's words jumbled together in his head. “No, I’m not – look. It wasn't about you, Loki.”

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34 notes - Posted April 3, 2022

WIP Game!

Post the titles of your current works in progress – then, if someone sends one of those titles to you, explain the concept or post a snippet!

Tagging: @rennemichaels @bouncydragon @slenbee @incredifishface @incubigirl and anyone else who wants to participate.

(I'm not including my ongoing challenges here, the 30 Day OTP Porn Challenge and 100 Ways to Say ILY challenge)

Fools Rush In

Just A Fool

Royals AU

The Flame

The House Guest

Untitled MaLoki fic

Untitled SamTasha fic

Untitled Post WS Stucky fic

Hurricane

The Christmas Date

All I Ask

Second Time Around

Whatever It Takes

P.S. Thanks to @mischief-and-tea-by-the-sea and @just-fandomthings for the tags! xoxo

35 notes - Posted July 26, 2022

New header.

47 notes - Posted February 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

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72 notes - Posted March 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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zozo-01 · 2 years ago

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I posted 3,772 times in 2022

That's 3,627 more posts than 2021!

1,431 posts created (38%)

2,341 posts reblogged (62%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sri-rachaa

@taelonsamada

@starlitangels

@zozo-01

@ejunkiet

I tagged 3,283 of my posts in 2022

Only 13% of my posts had no tags

#this is zo speaking - 1,568 posts

#zo answerin asks <3 - 1,136 posts

#♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ - 920 posts

#dollsy ♥️ - 527 posts

#gorgeous art done by a gorgeous person - 278 posts

#sleepy ♥️ - 168 posts

#another lovely fic from a lovely personnnn - 140 posts

#gum drop ♥️ - 117 posts

#another lovely fic from another lovely personnn - 113 posts

#redacted asmr - 103 posts

Longest Tag: 98 characters

#you wonderful bean and im so glad you're posting again ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️ ive missed youuuu ♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️♥️

My Top Posts in 2022:

recently i've been really obsessed with idea of darlin' and angel (romantically or platonically) cuddling

like, one day because [insert reason], darlin' has to stay over at david's house while he's away. eventually, both angel and darlin' get super tired an go to sleep.

in the middle of the night, angel is woken up by a scream from darlin's room and races to their room to see what's wrong.

once they get there, they realizes darlin' is physically ok, but they're suffering through a nightmare. they walk over to gently wake darlin' up and comfort them.

once it time for angel to leave, darlin' holds their arm and asks them to stay. angel agrees and crawls into the bed. they guide darlin's head to their chest and plays with their hair, letting darlin' cry if they need to. darlin' wraps their arms around angel and holds onto them like they're their lifeline.

just some wholesome cuddling for two characters who need it.

167 notes - Posted August 13, 2022

*clears throat* david has a bunch of different coloured pens and highlighters because he likes to colour code the shitttt out of his notes

170 notes - Posted September 15, 2022

Care To Join Me For A Dance, My Love?

Hey there! Some of you may have guessed by now that I am a sucker for royal balls. Now is the Monarchal Summit going to be a ball? Probably not. Will that stop me from writing about our favourite vampires and their partners at a ball? Fuckk no!

Anywho, already had fun writing for Darlin' at a ball once and I decided, 'hey, I'm gonna do it again.' So here is a more fluffy ball fic featuring our favourite Southern gentleman and his lovely Darlin'.

@dolls-circus and @sri-rachaa come and get your food!

Warnings: None (I know surprising for me.)

Darlin’ was used to this. They were used to having the eyes of everyone in the room focused on them. The stares happened when their family hosted parties. They happened whenever they walked late into a pack meeting, long before they had gotten with Quinn. It was always eyes filled with judgement, scrutinizing every action and word that was either said or wasn't said.

This was different. They felt the eyes of everyone in the ball, but there was no heat behind them. Instead, their gazes had admiration, awe and wonder. Who was this person and why are they here? Darlin’ was impressed with themselves. They had managed to capture the positive attention of all the Old Bloods in attendance.

But it didn’t make it any fucking easier for them to enter the ball.

Despite the admiration they received, one thing was for sure, they were still a wolf entering vampire territory. Not just any kind of vampires, Old Blood. (Old Blood like Quinn.) These are vampires that have been alive long before their great-grandparents were born. They have seen empires rise and fall, have more knowledge than Darlin’ could ever dream of, and as much as they hate to admit it, they can beat the absolute shit out of them. They were hesitant to walk in, in fear of angering the wrong person and having to answer for it.

‘Maybe I can turn back? Tell Sam that I felt sick and didn’t wanna come? Can I atleast not stand around like a fucking idiot and move?’

Before any more doubts entered their head, a pair of kind eyes caught theirs. From across the room, atop his golden throne, William was encouraging them to enter. They can already hear his voice in their head. “It’s alright little one, you’ll be safe here.” He didn’t have to say any words to make them feel at home. His presence was enough to have them feel like tonight was going to be alright. Fun even.

Darlin’ shook any remaining doubts, held their head up high and smiled. They remembered what their mother used to say when they were old enough to understand the undeserved judgements casted upon them.

“These aunties can smell your fear, my doll. You must smile, hold your head up high and let them know that you are not afraid of their words.”

‘Well these ain't aunties, but the same advice can be used against centuries old vampires who can kill me with a bite? Right mama?’

With their mother’s words echoing in their head, Darlin’ began to descend down the stairs into the main ballroom, eyes darting from person to person in search of a certain someone. Their eyes trying to find the silver eyes that they have grown to love.

‘Finding him would be so much goddamn easier if all of these stupid masks weren’t in the way. Fucking hell, where the fuck is he?’

Samuel Collins saw the sun set down the horizon and into the main ballroom.

They say to never look directly at the sun, but Sam decided that advice to be horsehit and glued his eyes onto his sunlight.

They look… there weren't words in the human language that could describe how beautiful Darlin’ looked walking down the stairs. Their confident stride and dazzling smile captured the eyes of everyone in the room. With every step they took, Sam heard most of the vampires' halt their breath in awe of his wolf. Had it been any other context, Sam would feel bothered, not jealous as some people would insist, with so many eyes on his Darlin’.

But how can he blame them when Darlin’ looked as enchanting as they did?

Somehow, a room full of vampires were put under a trance by a wolf.

His stubborn, reckless, lovely, beautiful, Darlin’ wolf.

“You know, instead of standing here with your mouth watering like a newborn, maybe you should go up to them and ask them to dance?” Vincent teased his best friend. He wore a cocky smirk to accompany his equally cocky comment. His partner lightly hit their lover on the chest and chastised him for his smart comment.

Sam turned to face the vampire prince with a smirk of his own. “Well I’m sure your partner here would love to hear about the look on your face when they walked into the room.” He couldn’t finish his description, one he so desperately wanted to tell, before Vincent slapped a hand over Sam’s mouth. Vincent stumbled over his words, trying to make a lie that he can use to maintain his pride.

Vincent’s partner covered their own mouth to muffle their laugh at sight of two normally dignified men fighting like children. “While I would love to hear about Loverboy gawking over me, you may want to help your mate Sam. It seems as though they have some unwanted attention.” The two men turn around to see an Old Blood noble talking to Darlin’. Not even a second later, Sam ran to his Darlin’ ‘safety,’ leaving behind the bemused vampire prince and his equally bemused partner.

“Oh he is so whipped for them.”

“Don’t tease him, you'd do the same for me, Loverboy.”

Sam ran through the crowd of nobles on the dancefloor. His masked silver, determined eyes locked onto the vampire that was talking to his Darlin’. ‘Thank the Lord for vamp speed.’ He stopped right behind Darlin’, who was blissfully unaware of their mate standing behind them.

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174 notes - Posted July 9, 2022

hi hello don't mind me

just thinking about darlin' having the habit to hide their laugh/smile and sam hating it because he wants to see their smile

just thinking about sam holding darlin's hands when they're together so that in the event he makes them laugh or smile, they can't use their hands to cover it

just thinking about darlin' hiding their face in their neck and sam gently cupping their face and moving it so he can bask in the sunlight that is their smile

231 notes - Posted August 2, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Four Times David Thought of Asking + The One Time Angel Did

*faceplants* Y'all I did ittt! Hello! Welcome to this behemoth of a fic! This was just me tryna break up the angst I was writing, but then I started thinking about David and his relationship with control and how Angel had a huge part in him easing up on said control. Add a little projecting onto David and thus, this turned into five stories in one mega-fic.

Thank you sooo much to @angel-bubbles for giving me some ideas! I really couldn't do this without your input! And tagging @bittersweet--chaos because they're a doll!

Warnings: Post-Inversion feelings and Depressive episode ->(Moment #3), Suggestive themes and Mentions of sex -> (Moment #4)

David Shaw was a man who valued control.

Every action must be premeditated and executed to perfection. Anything less would never be up to his standards. But he swears it's not a problem. If things don’t go his way, he won’t make a big deal out of it.

‘That is a fucking lie Shaw, you are the biggest control freak I’ve ever met.’

Ok, maybe he has some control issues.

There have been times in his life when David didn’t have a say in the situation. He didn’t have a say when either of his parents died, nor did he have a say when he was named Alpha at that young age. Both life experiences had caught him off-guard and left him scared, confused and hurt. A hurt that he refuses to let himself go through again. He will not let anything else blindside him.

Well, that didn’t exactly go to plan. Something did blindside him and that was when his future mate stalked him. Before anyone says otherwise, yes he fully believes that Angel was stalking him that night. That’s not the point though.

It will always baffle him how impulsive Angel can be with certain decisions. From asking him out that fateful night to moving in with him after less than a year of dating, he will never understand how they’re able to throw caution out the damn window.

‘It’s because I trust you, Davey! I have faith that you won’t hurt me. That’s why I can be carefree around you, and I hope you feel at ease around me too.’

Whether they knew it or not, his Angel succeeded. They somehow made the Alpha of the Shaw pack, known for his stoic nature and tense shoulders, relax. It’s a big ask considering who they’re dealing with, but like always, Angel did it effortlessly.

For once in his life, David was ok with not having control.

As he stared at the ring that adorned his finger, he realized that the moments where Angel made him let go are the reasons that they were the person he wanted to marry. He thinks back to those moments and the eventual proposal and wonders what the hell he did to deserve this.

Perhaps it was only when he finally put down the burden that rested on his shoulders that he was able to enjoy life.

It also helped that Angel made his life worth enjoying again.

Moment #1: They made him forget the unease of being in a car.

Over the years, David has developed some habits to cope with his unwariness in a car. His arms were stiff when holding the steering wheel, made sure his foot was hovering over the breaks, kept his eyes on the road at all times, and most importantly-

“Angel, for the millionth time, I do not want any music playing while I’m driving.”

One of the annoying things about David is that he refuses to let music play in the car while driving. He claims that he doesn’t want to be distracted on the road, but the pack notices the way his eyes glaze over and his voice slightly cracking. He would never say the full reason, but it would take a real dumbass to not figure that out.

“But Davey! It’s way too quiet and this is a damn road trip! If you won’t talk to me, then the least you can do is let me jam out,” Angel said while pouting. They crossed their arms and puffed out their chest to show that they’re annoyed, but honestly, David thought they looked cute sitting like that. Their adorableness didn’t negate the fact that he really didn’t want music to be playing right now.

David took in a shaky breath before continuing. “Angel, I know it’s boring without any sound, but I just-” Angel cut him off, “then I won’t play anything.”

What David didn’t know is that when he started speaking, his eyes had glazed over and his grip on the steering wheel tightened. ‘Maybe he was remembering something bad?’ Angel thought. They didn’t know. What they do know was that David needed this. And who were they to deny their boyfriend something he needs.

One thing about Angel that he loves was their ability to know when to push and when to stop. Of course, it has been a learning process for them both. But they were learning each other’s boundaries. And they were learning together.

“Thank you, Angel,” David sighed out, before focusing on the road again.

A few moments went by before Angel started humming a tune, one that David was familiar with. He let out a groan and if he wasn’t driving, he would have banged his head against the steering wheel.

“Oh, I’m sorry if the humming is bothering you. It’s just that it's a song that’s been in my brain and I have to hum it so it gets out, but I totally understand if you need me to stop and,” Angel kept on rambling and apologizing. The longer they were explaining themselves, the more out of breath they became.

David let one hand go on the steering wheel and held his Angel’s hand. “Look at me Angel, you’re ok just breathe with me.” Angel looked into David’s eyes and he swears that their eyes could only be compared to the moon. Once Angel's breathing calmed down, David explained why he became annoyed with humming.

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365 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #djisjdcisjf #dont mind meeee #and yes im gonna reread my own ballroom fic because its finals season and i am sawft <3333 #this is zo speaking

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thecoloursdontshow · 2 years ago

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I posted 5,542 times in 2022

171 posts created (3%)

5,371 posts reblogged (97%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@wenellyb

@thatmexisaurusrex

@spinachgarden

@subscribe-to-technoblade

@elektraking

I tagged 700 of my posts in 2022

#sambucky - 94 posts

#sam wilson - 87 posts

#winterfalcon - 69 posts

#sam x bucky - 65 posts

#bucky barnes - 64 posts

#bucky x sam - 62 posts

#sambucky fanfic - 51 posts

#sambucky fanfiction - 48 posts

#sambucky fic - 48 posts

#winterfalcon fanfic - 45 posts

Longest Tag: 133 characters

#and writing from both sam and bucky’s perspective about having kids tell them every day how they’ve affected them in a positive light

My Top Posts in 2022:

bruh. okay. this isnt like a BIG THING or whatever, but i think its still worth mentioning. sam doesnt look away after bucky goes to follow walker. bruh. how does one explain that. i dont understand why this just happened. why did he just stand there for an extra second watching as bucky goes. for funzies, obviously. also, take note of the line bucky tells him before he runs off. he looks at sam and says “i got it.”

and he keeps his eyes on sam as he turns the corner, then turning out of frame. and sam watches him leave. i genuinely dont have an explanation for this scene. because it sticks out to me every time, because sam watches him, and bucky tells him, without saying the words, that: “it’ll be fine”. like WHY.

275 notes - Posted January 18, 2022

i feel this is a general consensus in the fandom but im gonna say it anyway. Sam and Bucky are fucking stupid for each other. like holy shit. Bucky saw Sam smile and walked into a table. Sam saw Bucky in tight jeans and almost fell off the boat. Sam fell asleep on the couch one night when Bucky got home late and Bucky tripped over his feet. Sam passed by Bucky helping AJ and Cass with their homework and dropped whatever he was holding. they are just stupid. and generally, Sam’s a very smart, business, competent person. he’s captain America for gods sake, obviously he is intelligent, but Bucky just makes him fucking dumb. like it’s laughable. like he would stumble over his words and shit, he’d just pause mid debrief because Bucky looked at him in a specific way. and Bucky was supposed to be smooth, and he gets back in his groove eventually, but Sam was living proof Bucky simply could not be smooth. Bucky was just so not smooth with Sam, he stumbled when he danced, and he didn’t have a little flirty smile when he smiled with Sam, he had a giant, eye scrunch grin on his face that physically hurt. they are so stupid for each other it’s funny.

282 notes - Posted June 11, 2022

really think we should let taika have a go at Sam and Bucky. like just to see what he’d do exactly.

340 notes - Posted July 16, 2022

the way Sam is introduced in the mcu is so great because like it wasn’t a post credit scene or anything. the guy was just. jogging. and decided “let’s flirt with Captain America” and now he IS Captain America. that is the best introduction in the mcu because like he’s just a guy but he’s a FUCKING BADASS who has FUCKING WINGS (and ptsd) AND FLIRTS WITH CAPTAIN AMERICA. and like how the falcon is introduced is literally throwing a guy BACK ONTO A BUILDING, IN JEANS AND A TSHIRT, helps interrogate information out of the guy he just tossed like a fucking soccer ball. in conclusion; Sam Wilson is FUCKING AWESOME and i love him and his epic entrances.

415 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

okay but does anyone else just remember that Sam and Bucky just… happened? like these two fuckers with major pstd found each other and just- even if you don’t see them as romantic they are just BEST FRIENDS. they love each other in anyway you want it and it’s nauseating. Now you win even more if you think they’re romantic because they’re best friends who fell in love. someone once said “im in love with their love” AND YEAH. like HOLY FUCK GUYS.

HOW

AM I SUPPOSED

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565 notes - Posted February 12, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #that’s so real of me

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freelancearsonist · 4 years ago

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February Fic Recs!

Hi everyone! I’ve realized that part of the problem with interaction within the fic community is that not as many larger creators are doing their part to reblog and recommend fics like they used to when I first joined Tumblr. And while I wouldn’t really consider myself a “large” blog, I still want to do my part to help boost my fellow creators :) So here’s a list of what I read this month!

02.01 // “a letter addressed to the manager of the letter room” by @propertyofabelmorales (Richard Alsonso-Munoz) // I’ve read this at least three times omg because it’s currently the only Richard content we have and it’s wonderfully written and the letter format is unique but really interesting and so fitting given the character so yeah 10/10 please keep ‘em coming Vic 😂

02.02 // “Walls that Come Down” by @houseofthirst (Nathan Bateman) // this made me horny and made me cry at the same time and I think it’s really unfair that you have the power to do that to me tbh 😂 This is so wonderfully written and such a beautiful take on Nathan’s character and ugh lemme go cry in my corner

02.03 // “Meet Me on Endor” by @autumnleaves1991-blog (Poe Dameron) // “You are so beautiful, all the time” made me tear up a little bit because it’s so distinctly Poe and I also horny cried because god I’d give anything for this man

02.04 // “In the Night” by @jawabear (Santiago “Pope” Garcia) // this was emotional and beautiful and sexy all at once and it made me cry a lil bit in bed at 2am and honestly I thank you for it

02.05 // “Something About You And I” by @sacklerscumrag (Poe Dameron) // This was beautifully written and also so so so sexy and I realized I might have a bit of unresolved bondage kink while reading this so thanks for that 😂

02.06 // “The Night That Follows” by @roanniom (Poe Dameron) // I found this kind of by accident and then it turned out to be one of the most beautiful fics I’ve ever read in my life??? I’m seriously like trembling how can someone pack so much talent into one sexy fic I’m—

02.07 // “The Punishment” by @mandorush (Santiago “Pope” Garcia) // This is so fucking sexy what the fuck and then I found out it’s a whole series??? Yeah so needless to say my 2am binge was entirely worth it omg 🤤

02.08 // “Dessert is on the Counter” by @nathan-bateman (Abel Morales) // I read this before you posted to make the moodboard but I’ve legit reread like seven times since then omg. A quality fic in every way. 10/10

02.09 // “Affection” by @wasicskosgirl (Llewyn Davis) // This is one of my all-time favorite fics for my favorite man 😭 everything about this is so cute and I would literally die to snuggle with this sweet boy 😭

02.10 // “Tell Me” by @rebellou (Poe Dameron) // I don’t even know what to say omfg this is one of the hottest things I’ve ever read in my life and I’d like this fic chiseled onto my gravestone so I have something nice to take with me into the afterlife

02.11 // “Romantic Dreams” by @witchyavenger (Santiago “Pope” Garcia) // Yeah I want this holy hell this was so spectacularly written and so sexy and 😩 god I can’t even have kids but I wish he would breed me omg

02.12 // “Pressing Camera Questions” by @youvebeenlivingfictional (Nathan Bateman) // Omg this is so wonderfully constructed, even as something of an introductory piece to this series. I’m so excited to see what comes!

02.13 // “Free Fall” by @michaelperry (Mikael Boghosian) // There’s so little fic for Mikael on this site and so finding this kinda felt like striking gold 😂 especially because it’s so wonderfully writing and so sexy and 🤤

02.14 // #valentines fic tag by @propertyofabelmorales (Literally every Oscar Isaac character) // I got to read so many amazing fics today because of the Valentine’s fic exchange but shit dude you went above and beyond!! I wanted to only plug each author once on this fic rec calendar but there’s no way I couldn’t give you a shout out for this. Even in addition to your piece for the fic exchange you wrote so much incredible fic for literally every character I can think of (including Marcus!!!!!!!!! As I’m writing this you haven’t even posted his yet but I saw his name on the list and I’ve been having heart palpitations ever since) so yeah explore this tag because there’s fic for literally everyone and it’s all so wonderfully written and *chef’s kiss*

02.15 // “ghosts” by @unstoppableforcce (Javier Peña) // This one gave me CHILLS omfg this is just the first part and I was rolling on the ground. Everything about this is so beautifully constructed and haunting and UGH this is amazing 😭

02.16 // “Pretty” by @waatermelon-sugaar (Blue Jones) // Holy shit this unlocked like seven kinks that I didn’t even know I had 🤤 this was so wonderfully written and so sexy and realistic? Idk if that’s a good descriptor but like I could feel everything you were describing sdkfdkfjdkfj I LOVED THIS

02.17 // “home.” By @pascal-isaac (Llewyn Davis) // Look I wish I was kidding when I say that I’ve read this fic upwards of seven times sdkjskdjskd this is one of my all-time favorite fics and it only gets hotter with age 😩 this fic is like a fine wine and I would like to have it inscribed on my tombstone when I inevitably escape from this plane of existence

02.18 // “Turning to the Dark...” by @mylifeisactuallyamess (First Order!Poe Dameron) // If I’m being honest I’m not usually a fan of darker fics but this one worked for me. It was so sexy and honestly kind of beautiful in the way you describe the interrogation and later Poe’s willful turning. I really enjoyed this and will probably read again 🥺

02.19 // “My Best Decision” by @knivesareout (Javier Peña) // Fuck guys I’ve had baby fever like a motherfucker this month and this made it so much worse 😂 Dad!Javi is so fucking cute omg and this fic was SO SEXY and it really hit all of my bases 😩

02.20 // “my sweet baby” by @writingletterstothefire (Santiago “Pope” Garcia) // Look I’ve read this fic 293394 times and it’s good EVERY TIME. Dirty Dancing is the good kush and this fic made my obsession with that movie like 1000 times worse omfg. I read this every time I’m in a bad mood and it just puts a smile on my face so fast omg I would literally beg for a longer version

02.21 // “Sounds of Silence” by @veuliee2 (Orestes) // This fic? This fic right here? Lives rent free in my mind. To the truest capacity of the statement. I wish I was kidding when I say that not a single day goes by where I don’t think about this. I don’t even really know what to call this? Maybe Something along the lines of associates to lovers? Whatever this qualifies as it’s literally one of my absolute favorite fics of all time and I will never forget the way you shattered and mended my heart with one story

02.22 // “Mr. & Mrs. Cooper” by @aellynera (Bud Cooper) // THIS IS BRILLIANT THE ENTIRE WAY THROUGH ok first of all that this is like one of two fics for this character 😂 but also this is the most beautifully, ironically constructed fic ever? Everything about this is entirely grasping and there’s THREE PARTS that are all just as good as the rest and 😩 I literally couldn’t ask for a more perfect fic

02.23 // “Catch” by @ollypopp (Poe Dameron) // This is a short drabble but I had to include it because DAMN this is so sexy and wonderful for such a short piece and I’ll be thinking about this for the next month so thank you 😂

02.24 // “Blooming most recklessly” by @writefightandflightclub (Evgeni Kolpakov) // This is so beautifully written while simultaneously being so sexy???? How do you do it Luna I am forever in awe of your talent 😭 I can just visualize everything he says and does so clearly and I’m so in love with this piece 😭💛

02.25 // “falling for you” by @luminouspoes (Poe Dameron) // This is the cutest thing ever wtf 😭😭 The pining is so strong even though it’s short and it’s just all around so wonderfully written and I must go cry in my corner now

02.26 // “Liability” by @honeymandos (Nathan Bateman) // THIS WAS GORGEOUS WTF I’m crying over some soft Nathan in this house tonight 😭 I was legit so worried for a while that he’d send reader away but then he CAVED and my heart sang hallelujah—

02.27 // “electric spark” by @woakiees (Duke Leto Atreides) // Hi I need everyone to read this please so it can destroy your body and live in your mind and occupy all of your waking thoughts like it does for me k thanks

02.28 // “The Child” by @starryeyedstories (Poe Dameron) // This was the sweetest thing ever what the heck 😭😭😭 I am eternally sobbing over this lil found family-ish vibe and dad!Poe is literally everything I’ve ever wanted and UGH I have to go cry for the next month

#fic rec #february fic recs #poe dameron x reader #santiago garcia x reader #nathan bateman x reader #richard alsonso-munoz x reader #mikael boghosian x reader #javier peña x reader #blue jones x reader #orestes x reader #bud cooper x reader #evgeni kolpakov x reader #leto atreides x reader

105 notes · View notes

abarbaricyalp · 3 years ago

Note

handholding- 10/12/13

hugs - 34

kisses - 7/13/27

touching - 47

sambucky :)

Buddies, I literally cannot believe I managed to get all of these done without being too repetitive.

Handholding 10: Happily doing everything with one hand if that means they don't have to let go is already posted on my blog and on AO3: ElisabethMonroe: (til i carry you home) Your Hand in My Hand

Reblogging with AO3 links in a second

Kisses 27: Desperate Kisses

Inhale My Soul

(Listen, listen y'all, you don't know how many different universes of them dying and bleeding out in each other's arms y'all aren't reading here. I didn't do that to you. You're welcome)

Dissolving hadn’t felt like anything. Sam wasn’t sure he even understood what was actually happening. Maybe he’d thought it was just a trick of the reality stone. Maybe human minds weren’t meant to comprehend anything close to what had happened.

Coming back felt like dying.

He woke up on his back and he couldn’t breathe. It was like he had no lungs at all, just a trachea spasming in his throat without air, like a gills with no water. He grasped for the ground and the feeling of dirt was horrifying, a grave waiting to swallow him down into the Earth. The wind was knives on his skin. His suit felt like it was trying to pry his spine from his ribs. His legs ached like someone was trying to stretch the bones on a crank.

He must’ve screamed but there was no air to make a noise.

Finally sight came back and the first thing he saw were the trees falling over him, ready to crush him and hide him again.

Had anyone seen him disappear? No one was by his side. No one looked for him.

No, the trees weren’t falling. They were swaying in the wind. The sun kept gliding down through them with every shuffle of the leaves.

It was so quiet he felt like he could hear the leaves sighing as they grew.

It took him too long to realize the ragged breath that broke the silence like a gunshot came from his own chest. The hands digging his own grave shot to his chest, felt the rise and fall of his ribs and lungs, the proof that he was breathing. He was alive again.

He rolled onto his side and heaved until his ribs creaked, still firmly attached to his spine. There was nothing to come up, but the noise was comforting, the ache that he could name and handle was safe. Human. Living human.

His knees were in his legs when he leaned back on his haunches. They sank into the earth but the grave didn’t swallow him down. No unwilling sacrifice to be taken from him. He brought his dirt covered fingers--firm and whole and attached to him--up to his face. He found his cheeks, a beard with edges that were too straight for a man who had died and been put back together, his teeth. They throbbed in his gums like they were all about to fall out but they were there in his head. His tongue.

He could speak.

“Steve!” he shouted and his throat screamed in protest, the air in his lungs turned to fire. “Steve!” he called again and forced himself to his feet. His boots were tied. His pants were still tucked into them. There was no blood, which seemed wrong. He felt flayed open and left to soak into the ground. How could there be no blood?

“Steve!”

God, if Steve was dead…

Sam couldn’t lose more people. He couldn’t fight his way back. Not after this. Not while everything hurt so fucking much.

“Steve, please, God, where are you?!”

“Sam?”

Sam whirled around at the tired voice. The trees danced in his vision. The grass clutched at his legs, which still felt like they were being stretched out and sunk into the earth. The trees were going to take him over. The grass was going to eat him again. No one was looking. No one would find him. Why wasn’t anyone ever looking for him?

“Sam?” the voice called again.

Footsteps. Crushing grass. A metal screech in the bark of a tree. A colorful curse. “Sam, fuck, shout again!”

Sam stumbled forward, breaking free of the natural world trying to take him away again. He shoved himself away from a tree and crashed into a warm, solid, human body.

“Jesus, Sam,” Bucky breathed and wrapped his arms around Sam tightly. It hurt in the best way. Sam held him back, face hidden in Bucky’s shoulder. He didn’t even care about what gore he was smearing all over himself. Bucky’s hand came to the back of Sam’s head and Sam almost expected it to hit exposed brain but it didn’t. Instead his calloused fingers brushed over Sam’s short hair, smoothing over the natural lines and divots in it until goosebumps erupted over Sam’s skin.

Right. Things could feel good. That was part of being human and alive.

He had no idea how long they stood there. His shoulders were aching, but in a pleasant way that reminded him that there was something he loved right in front of him, in his arms.

Bucky was the first to move, stepping back half a step, a quarter of a step, barely any at all, just enough to bring his hands up to either side of Sam’s face. The cheeks and the mouth and the skin that was all there and new again. He tilted Sam’s head back, eyes intense and clear in front of Sam.

Had it not felt the same for him? Was he not grappling with his ridiculously weak claim to existence? Or, fuck, was this how he always felt after being frozen and woken up? Had he been going through this for seventy years with no one to run to? With no one to hold him and remind him that things could feel good?

Sam’s fingers tightened in Bucky’s vest and just as Bucky was starting to say something Sam couldn’t honestly answer--something about how he felt, if anything hurt, if he needed medical attention--Sam hauled him down into a desperate kiss. Their noses smashed together and pain bloomed across Sam’s face, made his eyes water, made him want to sneeze, made him want to lean into it all the more, like the pressed-on-bruise ache of Bucky’s arms around him.

He felt Bucky’s teeth notch a split into Sam’s lip by accident, crushed together with nowhere to go. Finally it softened. Bucky’s mouth pressed against his until Sam felt like he could actually breathe, until he could make his mouth do what he wanted, catch Bucky’s lower lip between both of his, wring out a noise he’d never heard the other man make before. Bucky’s hands on his face kept him close and Sam’s fingers tightened in his vest. He wanted to crawl into Bucky’s chest--felt like, maybe, he could after being unmade and remade. Their noses knocked together again as Sam tried to turn his head, kiss the other side of Bucky’s mouth, let Bucky bruise the rest of his lips.

Bucky pulled away, but didn’t let go of Sam’s face. Cool air flowed into Sam’s lungs until all of his bones and muscles felt like they slotted back into place.

“I can’t tell you how fucking happy I am to see you alive,” Bucky breathed.

We should talk about this. That. Later.

“I thought everyone was gone. I don’t know… I didn’t know how I came back. I thought it was just me.”

Bucky shook his head. “No. There’s hundreds of people. Not everyone, but at least half of us.”

Half of them.

“Oh my God,” Sam said. “Thanos won. He wiped out half of the universe.”

“I think that was us. I think...someone brought us back,” Bucky said. Pain flashed over his face as he looked at Sam and then pulled him in for another kiss. Sam tried to understand a second chance in it, but all he could feel was Bucky and relief and adoration. He wasn’t sure where that one came from more--him or Bucky.

“There’s still a fight,” someone said from behind them. Another magic shithead. Terror clutched at Sam’s chest like magic itself was enough to unmake him again, take him away again. “There’s still a world to save.”

Bucky’s hand found Sam’s between their bodies. Sam took a breath with lungs that almost seemed to work again. “What’re we waiting for then?” he asked.

Kiss 13: Frustrated Kiss

Better Than None

“Barnes, you wanna jump in? Any time’s fine,” Sam called out, though the volume wasn’t actually necessary, since he had an earpiece in and Bucky was only a few feet away, leaned on what was left of a building’s wall.

“Nah, you seem to be handling it just fine,” Bucky called back with a nod.

Sam ducked under the robot arm that had been flung at him. “Barnes, I swear, as soon as I get my hands on you--” he threatened.

“Y’know, normally that gets me going but seein’ as you were so anti-giving me a good luck kiss, I don’t know if I believe you anymore.”

“We don’t have time for this!” Sam threw the shield to cut through seven wire-y necks and caught it at degree 355 of its arc.

“It’s just a kiss. Takes two/tenths of a second,” Bucky said.

“I meant this dumbass argument.” Sam jumped out of the way of an electrical charge and Bucky watched it sail dangerously close to his head.

“Damn, maybe I am lucky without you,” he said and didn’t move at all.

“Bucky,” Sam sighed and ripped the head off of the nearest robot.

“Hot. Wish I could show you my appreciation.”

“How does me not giving you a good luck kiss translate you into not giving me any kisses?”

“It only seems fair. You’re putting my well-being at risk. There should be consequences.”

“That’s not how it works! You’re the one not--” Jesus, he didn’t have time to fall for the bait. He freed a mini-EMP from his utility belt and hurled it at the cluster of robots trying to scale the debris that first responders were using as a barricade to the rest of the street. A few seconds later, the robots fell away, powerless and useless.

“I kind of felt that in my arm,” Bucky said.

Sam growled out a huff and stalked over to Bucky. He shoved the front of the shield against his chest a little roughly and leaned in to kiss him, mostly teeth and irritation. The bastard still looked pleased when Sam pulled away.

“Good luck. Now will you please go do your job?”

Bucky grinned, all teeth and victory, and bolted into action.

Kisses 7: Passionate Kiss

Hand holding 13: Linking hands during s**

Bring Heaven to You

Sam swore he could feel Bucky’s mouth all over him. Every inch of his skin felt electric and alive. Frankenstein’s creature surging to life after a bolt of lightning, every nerve and muscle singing at the same time, overwhelming sensation in the best way. Like a freefall that keep him tethered to the mismatched hands clutching at his hips, his ribs, his chest, his shoulders, his thighs, the backs of his knees. Like Bucky couldn’t decide where he should be shocking Sam back to life either.

Bucky dragged his hand down Sam’s side, flat and steady so Sam could feel the golden band on his finger scorching his skin like it was made of fire. Like vows and rings and heavy promises weren’t enough to prove they belonged to each other, like they needed it written in flesh and blood like everything else about their lives.

Hahahaha, no. The rest is on AO3. Link in the reblog

Hand holding 12: Possessive hand holding

A Green Monster, And No We Don’t Mean The Hulk

“Welcome back to the show, Captain America!” a bubbly, young talk show host greeted. Bucky assumed he’d watched at least a few seconds of the program at some point when he was making it his life mission not to leave his apartment, but he couldn’t place her name for the life of him. “And you brought Mr. Barnes with you!” This she said with much less genuine enthusiasm and didn’t seem all that thrilled to have to look away from Sam to address Bucky.

“Well, you know I can’t stay away too long,” Sam said with a friendly smile. He held out his hand and the host took it in both of hers. It was less a hand shake and more an excuse for her to hang onto Sam, it looked like.

Sam and Bucky sat in the cushy seats for guests and, even though they’d already walked through the staging of this whole farce, Bucky was still deeply tempted to take Sam’s seat so he was between Sam and the host.

“So, Sam, last time we saw each other, you weren’t yet Captain America.”

“Funny how fast things like that can change, right?” Sam asked with twinkling eyes. Bucky wondered if the cameras were bolted down and if he could wrench one free even if they were.

“Well, I think it’s still not soon enough,” the host said and tossed her long hair over her shoulder. “You’ve always been Cap to us here. You’ve been so vocal about your mission statement as Captain America, so I won’t make you repeat yourself.” Sam nodded gratefully, though Bucky knew he’d repeat his goals and wishes until he ran out of breath if it meant one more person heard them and got inspired. “So I thought we could focus on what’s going on behind the scenes with you. Has anything else changed for you since you’ve been back?”

As if coming back to life wasn’t enough.

“Oh, definitely,” Sam said. “Buck and I just finished flipping a house down by my sister. Y’know, we got decent temporary accommodations--Buck still has his in New York--and staying with my sister again was nice, but there’s nothing like having a house to come home to that’s just ours. No pre-teens stealing all the food outta the fridge immediately after grocery shopping.”

The host laughed along with Sam, though her eyes couldn’t quite keep from flickering to Bucky. “It’s fun that you’re rooming with Mr. Barnes. Does it feel like having college roommates again?”

Sam frowned, opened his mouth to answer, ran through a bunch of diplomatic ways to say what should’ve been obvious but wasn’t because this lady was into Sam. Which, like, Bucky couldn’t blame her for. But he was anyway.

He reached over to grab Sam’s hand where it was picking at a loose thread in his pants. “Actually, it’s more like just living with a partner,” he answered for Sam. “That’s something else that’s changed too, huh?” he directed at Sam. “Turns out, with consistent showers and therapy, he thinks I’m pretty charming.”

Sam frowned again and scoffed. “No, I do not. That hasn’t changed.”

The host laughed again, forced but a decent show anyway. “Sure, we all love a good bromance,” she said.

Bucky’s eyebrows shot up.

“Don’t,” Sam warned.

“It’s a lot like a bromance, yeah. Just without the B,” Bucky said. “We kind of figured my name had enough Bs to last us for a while.”

“Sam, are you saying--”

Sam sighed and brought his other hand up to the bridge of his nose. “Unfortunately. And, yeah, he’s always like this. Some kinda puffed up bulldog or something.”

Bucky’s fingers tightened around Sam’s. “You’re my partner. I’m allowed to tell people that.”

“You don’t ever stop telling people.”

“Can’t blame him,” the host pointed out. Okay, maybe some of the hostility was misplaced, Bucky thought. Only some of it. “How did we not know about this, Cap?” she asked jovially, though Bucky thought she was still a little upset.

Sam shrugged. “Guess it’s not as exciting as superheroing. And cameras keep ending up destroyed,” he added pointedly.

Bucky narrowed his eyes at the accusation. “Half the places we go could be classified as an active war zone. It’s not always on me that media cameras get crushed under debris or aliens or something.”

“Every single one that catches you touching my face?”

Bucky shrugged.

“So...how long has this been a thing?” the host asked.

“Since before Sam took the shield. It’s actually a package deal. If you want the shield, you have to have me.”

Sam rolled his eyes and let out another long suffering sigh. “I’m sorry he’s ruining this interview.”

“Oh, no, I’m about to win an investigative journalism prize, I think,” the host laughed.

“I don’t know how investigative it is when your subject is physically incapable of shutting up,” Sam said, looking over at Bucky with a glare and the smallest pout that made Bucky want to kiss it off of his face.

So he did, holding their interlaced fingers next to their face to hide from the cameras at least a little bit.

Hugging 34: Hugging while grabbing butt

Get Sprung

(Man, I meant to put this in the fr@ story and forgot :/ )

The building came down faster than Sam expected it to. He supposed well placed explosives would do that. What happened to uncertain, uneven dynamite? Why was everything electrical and precise nowadays?

He had no idea how Bucky managed to get Sam and the shield bundled in his arms before the ceiling came down. He didn’t know how Bucky had managed to kick a piece of wall upright and then locked his metal arm to hold the shield in place above them. He had no idea how Bucky knew it’d make the perfect alcove for them. For someone who pretended not to know what math was when AJ asked for help on homework, he was very calculation savvy.

Bucky slowly freed his arm from the straps of the shield. The rubble shifted a little, pressed a little closer, and then stilled again. They both let out a small breath. There wasn’t enough room to lay out totally, or to stand fully, but they weren’t being crushed. Bucky’s arm joined the other around Sam’s waist. Sam dropped his face to Bucky’s shoulder and let Bucky’s pulse drum against his cheek for a second.

“Are you grabbing my ass?” he finally asked and Bucky coughed out a startled laugh.

“Yeah, you better hope it’s me and not some darkness monster.”

“Couldn’t blame the monster if it was,” Sam said.

“I gotta make sure it’s still there. Would be a shame to lose America’s ass, y’know.”

Sam shook his head and pulled away from Bucky enough to light up his wristlets. He shook them off and rested them on pieces of concrete and rebar to light the space.

Bucky sank down to the ground, legs bent a little to accommodate the space and Sam followed him down, settling between his legs.

“So, now we wait, huh?” he said, reaching for Bucky’s hands to tangle their fingers together.

“Guess we gotta,” Bucky agreed. “Are you hurt?”

Sam shook his head. There was still a ringing in his ears from the explosion and he was sore from Bucky tackling him out of the way, but nothing felt crushed or cut or broken. “You?”

“I’m fine,” Bucky said and then let out a breath at Sam’s arched brow. “I mean it. I’m not playing tough or anything. We got lucky. It came down on us, not sideways into us. I think there’s something lodged between the plates in my arm, but I don’t want you to do anything about it until we’re safe. It’s functional right now. I don’t need to be down an arm if we have to dig out.”

“We’re not gonna have to dig out,” Sam said. “Torres’ll track Redwing to us.”

“How’s your dumb robot?”

Sam reached for a wristlet and navigated to the Redwing menu. “Operational. Some exterior dinging, but nothing serious. He’ll be functional if we need.” Sam set the wristlet aside again and sighed. “Fuck, that was close, wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. C’mere,” Bucky said, opening his arms. Sam shifted forward on his knees and leaned against Bucky’s chest, hugging him close. “‘M glad you’re okay,” Bucky murmured, lips brushing Sam’s temple.

Sam nodded and rubbed Bucky’s waist for a second. “Buck?”

“Yeah?”

“You’re grabbing my ass again.”

“I know.”

“Alright.”

Touch 47: Touching their elbow to get their attention

Quiet Birds Circling in Flight

(Jeez, the only thing that came to mind for ages on this prompt involved a spaceship but these men have SEEN aliens and spaceships so that’s not as fun :(((((( )

Sam stood outside the cenotaph long after everyone else had left the service. And that was quite the feat in and of itself. It felt like the mourning could go on for years. There’d been enough tears around him that he wasn’t sure what his own would add to the spectacle.

To everyone else, the cenotaph was a mausoleum. But Sam had been next to Bucky when he told the military to quietly bury him in the cemetery where his parents were both buried. “You know,” Bucky had said one afternoon while they watched the cenotaph being built stone by stone, engraving by engraving, “I’d wager that most mausoleums are just cenotaphs. Grave robbing and reactions to grave robbing mean probably everyone just got moved somewhere safer.”

“Plus decomposition.”

“Well, shit, Wilson. When do you stop being you after death? When does dirt become dirt again? When isn’t it your resting place? Does it even matter where your body is when alls said and done? Is that ever actually you or just a space filler?”

Sam had elbowed Bucky’s ribs and they’d each taken a piece of stone and pretended they didn’t see.

Sam weighed the shield against his shin, knocking it slightly to the side, and then looked up at the stone one ten more feet above his head.

Steve would hate this so much. Sam felt like he could feel his raging blush from the after life. Sam and Bucky had both asked for something more muted, something quieter. Hell, something that would do good for the world Steve was always trying to save. All this money and work and art, for what? A place to take pictures for likes on the internet?

No, Sam had to remind himself, it was a place for memory too.

As much as Sam kind of hated the whole thing, he couldn’t deny that looking up at the effigy of his friend inspired him the same way glancing over at him had in life too. The words wrapping around and around the base of the cenotaph sparked the same intense pride and righteousness they had the first time he heard them.

Maybe he didn’t hate the cenotaph. Maybe he just wanted the real thing back.

He startled at a gentle touch at his elbow. He thought it might’ve been another mourner come to offer condolences, though those mostly went to Bucky when someone was brave enough to approach him. Most people hadn’t looked at Sam twice. Not when Captain America was, in theory, laying in rest thirty feet beyond.

Sam was not in the mood to listen to anyone else talk about the time Steve smiled at them in a cafe or grabbed their cat out of a tree. If he heard his name again, he was going to break down.

But he had the shield now. He had to do the things Steve did. Smile when he didn’t want to. Hide any sign of weakness, lest it reflect poorly on the red, white, and blue he carried now. So he ground his teeth together until his gums ached and turned with a screwed on smile.

But it wasn’t a mourner. Not a random one anyway.

Bucky still had his fingers on Sam’s elbow, a sad look on his face. Dawn was creeping over the horizon and Sam realized with a start and a bloom of despair in his stomach that he’d spent the entire night in the park.

“Think if we wait two more days he’ll shove that stupid stone shield out of the way and come out?” Sam asked, voice wavering like a flag in the wind.

“We would literally never hear the end of it if he did,” Bucky pointed out.

Neither of them smiled. Neither of them really meant their jokes.

Sam finally broke down.

He collapsed against Bucky’s chest. It wasn’t until he lost his breath in the middle of a sob that he realized he wasn’t the only one shaking. Bucky was crying too. They clutched at each other, both terrified they might drift away, that the other might decide this was too difficult too and go back to something better at the first opportunity.

Sam didn’t even blame Steve. He’d laid awake in the temporary accommodation the government had put him up in and tried to convince himself that if he was in Steve’s shoes, he wouldn’t have saved Riley and stayed in that timeline. But he couldn’t. He knew he would have, almost certainly. And it wasn’t fair to ask Steve to give up a happy, quiet ending after more than a century of fighting and hurting.

But understanding it and accepting it didn’t make it hurt any less. “What are we supposed to do, Bucky?” he asked with an irritatingly genuine hiccup at the end of his words.

“I don’t know,” Bucky said, sounding for all the world like he was grinding his teeth together, trying to pull himself back together. “You have a lot more options than me.”

And it was true. Sam had had a job. The Air Force had reached out since he’d been back stateside. He had a family who missed him, who he missed. But it felt like something heavy and tethering had been locked away in that empty cenotaph. He didn’t want to walk away yet.

Bucky stepped back, kept a hand on Sam’s elbow. “For now, we should get back home. You need to sleep.”

Sam didn’t want to sleep. Everything hurt too much.

“Sam, come on,” Bucky insisted. “You don’t have to make any decisions right now.We could both use a few hours of being quiet, right?

Sam reached up to wipe the tears from his face. He had the shield. He had to act like it. “My place or yours?” he asked, still watery.

Bucky pretended like he didn’t notice. “Yours is nicer than mine.”

“And I have a bed.”

“I have a bed.”

“It’s unassembled in a box.”

Bucky squeezed his elbow and then tugged him into a brief hug that Sam was pretty sure they’d never speak of again. “Let’s get out of here. He’s not goin’ nowhere.”

Sam rubbed at his face again and nodded. “We-- We should order in. When’s the last time you ate?” he asked as they walked away.

“I had a better breakfast than you.”

“You didn’t have to give a speech.”

“Yeah, I’m surprised you didn’t throw up in front of everyone.”

“Shut up, I’m a great public speaker.”

“Sure, Wilson.”

“Screw you, Barnes.”

The dawn bloomed before them.

Do not stand

By my grave, and weep.

I am not there,

I do not sleep—

I am the thousand winds that blow

I am the diamond glints in snow

I am the sunlight on ripened grain,

I am the gentle, autumn rain.

As you awake with morning’s hush,

I am the swift, up-flinging rush

Of quiet birds in circling flight,

I am the day transcending night.

Do not stand

By my grave, and cry—

I am not there,

I did not die.

#sambucky #sam wilson #bucky barnes #captain america #sambucky fanfic #writing #i answer things #the falcon and the winter soldier #prompt answers

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evil-m0nk · 4 years ago

Text

SHOUTOUT TO THE TWO PEOPLE WHO

ASKED FOR THIS; YOU KNOW WHO YOU

ARE ♡

LET'S BE HONEST, I WAS GONNA POST THIS ANYWAY

BUT NOW I HAVE A REASON LOL

JIROUSHI HEADCANONS.

IF YOU DIDN'T SEE THE POST THAT

INSPIRED THIS, CLICK HERE

FOR CONTEXT!

gay gay homosexual gay

DISCLAIMER BUDDY IS BACK WITH

ANOTHER MESSAGE FOR YOU

TO READ BEFORE YOU CONTINUE ON!

!!!Please note!!! All of the things stated in this blog are my own personal opinions and not meant to imply canon. My purpose is spilling out some headcanons for a crack ship cause it makes me happy. If you don't like this ship, feel free to ignore this post! Thank you and enjoy :)

*And if you guys wanna add onto this with your own headcanons for them, I would love that so much <33

///

These are in no particular order, just whatever comes to mind! I'll try to keep somewhat of a timeline in the beginning, but a fully-fleshed out, AO3 fanfic style timeline is a whole post by itself. (I'll gladly type that out too if you think you'll enjoy it 🥴) Creds to my friend for helping me out with some of this!!!

So without further adieu,

let's get into these headcanons!

///

RANDOM HEADCANONS ;

*Short and sweet, no particular order.

• They both love My Chemical Romance; Jiro's favorite album is Danger Days and Jyushi's is Welcome To The Black Parade. (another shoutout to my MCR fans.)

• Jiro plays MCR songs on his guitar for Jyushi to cheer him up.

• Jiro tried to teach Jyushi to play soccer, but he cried went he got mud on his boots and Jiro decided it would be better if Jyushi just watched instead.

• They read Junji Itō together on rainy days, usually accompanied by a blanket and tea that Ichiro made for them.

• They both have AO3 & Wattpad accounts for the sake of reading all the horrible fanfictions and giggling over them.

• Despite really enjoying each other's company, they still bicker like they did when they fake dated.

• Ichiro is proud of his brother for finally finding someone who he can spend time wish, while Kuko is completely disgusted by the fact Jyushi has a date. ( /lh ) Parents.

• Jiro once texted Ichiro, verbatim, "Can u tell your boyfriend's emo friend to text me back" and Ichiro left him on read.

• They once went on a double date with Ichiro and Kuko and I'm sure everyone can imagine how horrible and awkward that turned out.

• They are avid Guitar Hero and Dance Dance Revolution players and usually have competitions to see who can score higher.

• Jyushi gave Jiro a wolf stuffed animal to match with Amanda and Jiro falls asleep with it in arms reach every night.

• Jyushi is a vegetarian and Jiro always remembers to get him something meat-free when they go out to eat.

TIMELINE HEADCANONS ;

• Jiro and Jyushi originally didn't like each other very much; Jiro thought Jyushi might be as stuck-up as everyone says he was, and Jyushi assumed that Jiro thought that. They didn't avoid one another, but they definitely didn't go out of their ways to interact.

• They were in a fake relationship for a few weeks, just because they were tired of being teased for constantly being alone. It happened at a high school dance, when Jiro went to sit on the bleachers and saw Jyushi sitting there too. He decided to sit next to him and it caused them to bicker back and forth for a while, then it dissolved into them devising a plan to "fake date". (If y'all want that extended timeline post...)

cont. : When they were around other people, like walking down the hallway, they would very begrudgingly hold hands. Jiro comments about how cold Jyushi's hands are and Jyushi snaps back with something like, "Well, your hands are clammy- s-so. . . Shut up!" This would inevitably lead to them bickering, shushing each other, smiling awkwardly at the people around them, shared glare, and repeat.

• They only really started to like each other's company when they realized that they had none in common than they thought. In canon, Jiro loves manga and Jyushi likes alternative fashion (visual kei), so naturally one of the things they had in common was owning Junji Itō mangas. They also share similar music taste, My Chemical Romance being the main one. ;)) This was found out when Jyushi went to Jiro's place for the first time. It was necessarily planned, but in a moment of worry they made plans to hang out within earshot of the other students. Jyushi didn't really pick up on the fact it was just a show and showed up at Jiro's place later that day.

• Their first official date happened partly because they realized they may actually have feelings for one another, and because the questions about how long they'd been together, how many dates they'd been on, how they met from their classmates became unavoidable. Since both of them are pretty terrible liars, they decided the only way to get out of this was an actual date. . . Were they lowkey flirting then? Absolutely.

• Because they're both teenagers with not much in the way of an income other than their rap groups, their first date was at a foodcart. The place was too crowded and loud for Jyushi's liking, and Jiro being the natural gentleman he is offered to buy their meals so Jyushi could get away from the noise.

cont. // slight writing bonus : Jyushi sits on a stairway away from the foodcarts, looking at the bright lights of the Shinjuku division. It doesn't take long for Jiro to return with their food--burgers. Jiro digs around in the paper bag containing their food awkwardly for a moment before pulling one out and handing it to Jyushi.

Jyushi hesitates as well, but eventually takes it from Jiro, who only then sits down next to him on the stairwell. He sits closer than Jyushi would have expected. Jyushi huffes, pulling back the wrapping of the burger, he turns to Jiro with a slightly annoyed expression, opening his mouth to speak;

"You know, I'm vegetarian. . . -"

"I know. It-it's a veggie burger."

Jyushi closes his mouth again and a small blush creeps over his face. His and Jiro's eyes meet for a moment,

"Oh. . . Well, thank you. . ."

and then he looks away before taking a quick bite of the burger in order to hide his face.

It seemed silly. . . though, no one had ever been that observant or caring toward him.

HEYYYY......I'M SO GLAD YOU MADE IT TO THE END BECAUSE I AM CURRENTLY FINISHING THIS @ 3AM <33

THESE ARE SOSOSOSO FUN TO DO,, ESPECIALLY THAT STORY WRITING BIT AT THE END--I'M 100% DOWN TO POST A MINI FIC,, + MORE DETAIL AS WELL 👀👀👀

I'M A CLOUT-CHASER SO IF YOU GUYS WANNA LIKE/REBLOG/FOLLOW, I'LL LOVE YA TO DEATH,,, 💖

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uwua3 · 4 years ago

Note

hi! first off, congrats on the new blog!! i read that misumi piece and i really enjoyed it hehe,, if it's alright, may i request some domestic fluff with kazunari? mayb looking over old photo albums of each other from when they were kids and laughing and telling stories about what happened in the photos? thank you very much and i hope u have a nice day :D

hi!!! this made me so happy 🥺 thank you so much, i hope to keep this blog running for a long time! also, i saw your reblog of my jealousy hcs and i wanted to say thank you for your sweet comments!!! i go back to it whenever i need motivation, you inspire me to keep writing ♡ thank you! i hope to continue making you proud as a writer :D <3

summary: kazunari had to stop living in the past and make new memories outside of his yearbooks with you

author’s note: this is definitely a much happier piece than my others! this was refreshing to write and i treasure it dearly, it’s definitely much more on the humorous side! no angst today, folks!!! (ok just a little, but it’s barely noticeable!)

this is just a little look into a hoarder named kazunari and his sentimental, nostalgic personality ♡ i, myself, am a marie kondo supporter so i love decluttering! if you are a hoarder like kazunari, honestly go you! you keep those knick knacks that remind you of memories! do whatever makes you the happiest :D

word count: 2,151

music: make you mine – public, tongue tied – grouplove (this song is so Kazunari !!!)

nostalgia.

🌻🎨 miyoshi kazunari

it was that time of year again

kazunari hated spring cleaning with a passion. so what if his art supplies were all over the dorms? he knew where everything was! uh, mostly...

(if you ignore his daily panicked house searches which kept everyone up way too late if he couldn’t locate a very specific paint shade for a big project he definitely procrastinated)

so, it took, so much bribery to get kazunari to even consider cleaning out his entire dorm room

(muku was a very Good Boy and already had his side of the room perfectly dusted and organized)

yes, you had to promise to pose as a model for one of his paintings one day (hopefully, not the type of class you were thinking) (kazunari’s suggestive wink didn’t help)

the thing about kazunari was he was somewhat of a, putting it politely, hoarder

as an extremely sentimental person, it would take the whole mankai company to even force him to throw something away

(“no! it has a special meaning to me! i remember what happened when i got this~” kazunari would whine, holding the useless item between his hands with no intentions to ever look at it again)

so the boys employed you to be kazunari’s rational judgement when cleaning that day

(“please actually make him do something.” sakyo looked like he was on the border of begging; kazunari’s abundance of random knick knacks and shopaholic addiction problem was becoming an issue that affected everyone)

rule #1 of cleaning kazunari’s storage room: don’t open anything because kazunari will become very sentimental and nothing will get gone

so therefore, as a team, you two tackled the rather spotless room. the interior was minimal and modern, just like kazunari liked it with pops of color here and there

(he had one blank white wall and you realized it was the backdrop he used to film all his social media posts [dancing tik toks, fashion #ootds on instagram, daily vlogs on his growing youtube channel])

at first, you were confused where all his stuff went until you opened a closet against his terrible and unconvincing distractions

without time to react, you found yourself buried in tens of books you couldn’t even fathom how it all fit

(“i’ve played way too much tetris.” kazunari would admit later on when asked about his immaculate stacking)

“you’ve got to be kidding me!” you groaned, pushing your head above the surface of book covers that have either never been opened or were way too old to even be functionable

“i’m sorry~ please, forgive me!” kazunari pleaded, immediately pulling you out of his own mess and using all his cuteness to make you roll your eyes fondly at your best friend

you almost started ranting at him about the dangers of taking up too much closet space with useless items before you realized:

wait! stop! he’s trying to get you to forget about throwing these books out! you thought suddenly, crossing your arms as you stared at the pile, trying to figure out how to approach the situation

“you cannot distract me. we are going through this mound and you will be getting rid of something today.” you ordered, seeing his shoulders drop in defeat as he nodded solemnly, but accepting his fate without any arguments. thank god for that

you two bent down and organized all the books into categories. popular photography instruction guides, creative advice columns, and all his past art textbooks kazunari couldn’t sell were put into a seperate group because luckily, they were relevant to his art school

things like old newspapers with funny comics were recycled (you refused to let kazunari read them in fear of invoking some form of nostalgia) (also because he had the whackiest sense of humor ever and would die laughing)

it was going well, until you reached the thickest photo books of them all (you had almost forgotten what you and kazunari’s school mascot was)

but unsurprisingly, kazunari had every single yearbook from each year of his education all the way until his last year in high school piled high to his chest

even he looked somewhat shocked from his mass accumulation from his teen years

“ah! i’m so old now~ look at all this! what else can i do except die?!” kazunari dramatically flopped onto his bed, tired of lifting so much weight. hey! his arms weren’t meant for exercise, he was a painter!

lifting his head to see you were distracted from alphabetically sorting the first section lovingly dubbed, “art shit”, kazunari mischeviously grinned as he leaned down to snatch a random yearbook

flipping to a random page, kazunari smiled as he realized it was the first time he ever met you back in elementary

kazunari sang your name as he sat upwards, having a shit–eating look on his face as he started swinging his legs back and forth

oh no, he was up to something no good, you knew it but humored him anyways

“yes, kazu?” you turned your line of sight to the most horrible picture possible: you with the ugliest haircut in the entire world with kazunari’s black hair taking up the entire photo as you two sheepishly smiled for the camera. it was not a proud moment

okay, maybe it wasn’t that bad, you just couldn’t help but shriek at the sight of your hair

“oh my god! you can’t just jumpscare me like that!” you laughed despite yourself. you knew you had to be serious and focused on decluttering, but one look at your past made you remember all the good times before so–called “adulthood”

“look at your hair!” you cackled, reaching up to playfully yank at his mullet as he yelped and lightly smacked your hand away. rubbing the back of his neck, kazunari huffed childishly and pouted like he was back in his youth

“come on! this was the pinnacle moment i realized, i should not be a hair dresser.” kazunari commented, making you remember how you just let a random 8–year–old boy waddle up to you with safety scissors and advertise his salon business like a professional

(yes, you bought into it right away. your teacher had a heart attack when she saw you with a majority of your hair on the floor and kazunari keeping small talk like an actual hair stylist)

thinking back after the haircut incident, you weren’t allowed to chat with the funny class clown anymore as you were forced to wear a hat every day

(it was either that or go completely bald to fix the job kazunari did to your head)

it wasn’t until you received a very creative and colorful apology letter with tons of sad faces drawn with waxy crayons that you snuck out to play with him on the swings in recess

“i can’t believe we became friends because i wanted free hair cuts for the rest of my life.” you added, staring at the picture with a sense of nostalgia. you kinda got where kazunari was coming from, memories were fun to look at every once and a while

at least, eleven years worth of memories after being inseperable from that moment forward

(maybe, you should’ve held onto it, you thought, not knowing that would be the first of many art pieces you would be gifted by him)

kazunari knew he won. excited, he dropped down to lay on his stomach as you leaned against the bed, watching as he thumbed through the pages with ease, leaning his head on yours comfortably

it was rare to find kazunari quiet, he must’ve been like this all the time when going through his stuff, you thought, at peace for once

lazily smiling, kazunari put his finger against your yearbook pictures as he reminisced on the past. something about everyone ever in your grade, how kazunari knew everyone and had a special memory with each person, no matter how big or small

“—and here, the teacher somehow caught a pic of us swinging wayyy too high for kids our age!” kazunari laughed, breaking your train of thought as you snickered at the absolute joy radiating from both your faces as you two competed to see who could reach the clouds

(kazu won. you fell off right after and had to get picked up from your parents after badly scraping your knee. it took another sorry letter and art of you two holding hands with a heart for your parents to forgive kazunari)

“let’s go back.” you interrupted him, making him sit up confused as you swung your keys out from your back pocket. it didn’t take any convincing for kazunari to nod right away and took the elementary yearbook into his arm

you two only had to exchange a secret look before formulating a plan to sneak out, leaving music on from kazunari’s speakers to act like kazunari was still cleaning

you two giggled amongst yourselves before clambering into your car, speeding off and laughing loudly from your successful getaway. the manager was none the wiser!

during the short car ride, you and kazunari played your favorite mixtape of all time

(“you kept this?!” kazunari yelled, giddily bouncing up and down from excitement when he discovered the mixtape stash)

he slipped the disc in as you two yelled along to childhood favorites with the windows rolled down, letting the entire neighborhood know the best duo were back in town

(seriously, there were so many you stashed away in your glove department. all labeled in sharpie with compelling titles connected to the inside jokes only you two found funny)

arriving at the destination, you two exited the vehicle to see the play pen was abandoned as the teaching staff went home for the day

the sun was setting and it felt like the playground was in another rift of time as you approached it, hearing the weak movement of the swings going back and forth on their own. you sat down, holding onto the chains. you hadn’t been back ever since you graduated. it hadn’t changed at all

kazunari opened the elementary yearbook back to the original page, pulling out his tripod and phone he always had on hand in his backpack as he set it up right across the swing set

“what are you doing?” you inquired, tilting your head as he fumbled around pressing different buttons and filters too complex for you to remember

looking up, kazunari grinned as he set a timer for 10 seconds before sprinting back to the swing next to you

“swing contest right now! i bet i could swing higher than you ever could!” kazunari challenged childishly, quickly kicking his legs for the momentum. you narrowed your eyes, refusing to lose as you two laughed over the sound of his phone taking a burst of photos

you realized what he was doing. he was re–creating your memories together

but you turned to look at him and your heart skipped a beat. you never remembered him looking this, different, in the purple lighting. for a flashing moment, you swore you saw the silhoutte of his black–haired, child self sit next to you before you blinked and saw him. kazunari was the same, just older now

you slowed down your swing by dragging your sneakers against the wood chipped ground. you grabbed both the swings’ chains to hold them together

you didn’t want to live in the past anymore. you wanted to grow up with him, too

“what—” kazunari started, matching your pace before being cut off by your lips against his, the phone going off for one last time

you pulled yourself in close enough just to smile. he smelled the exact same as he did when he discovered cologne for the first time. he never changed

you pulled away first even if he tried leaning forward for more, like he was waiting all these years just for that one moment. like he saw you in the same light, too

“i wanted to do that for years.” you confessed, watching as he took your hand carefully, like he was afraid you were going to leave. for once, he didn’t know what to do, which face to show

“me too...” kazunari agreed, seemingly speechless before straightening his back, like he was about to run away. the hair on your neck stood up, what was he about to do?

“i promise i won’t cut your hair anymore, unless?” kazunari winked dramatically, mimicking the shape of scissors with his fingers as he tried snipping at your hair

he laughed as you shoved him with all your might, hopping off the swing to chase him throughout the school parking lot

now this was a memory kazunari would never throw away, no matter what

(no one thought the two of you escaped until kazunari posted the pics on his instagram, both of you getting a scolding from sakyo this time)

(busted!)

#miyoshi kazunari #kazunari miyoshi #a3! act! addict! actors!#a3!#act! addict! actors!#a3! actor training game #a3! headcanons #act! addict! actors! headcanons #mankai a3!#mankai company #a3! x reader #a3 x reader #kazunari x reader #a3! kazunari #a3 kazunari

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calamariimpossible · 4 years ago

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Magicians on the internet, crypto, and the email that broke me.

This is a continuation of a twitter thread that Muz (@mzkrx) started to write out in his car but then when he plotted out his thoughts, it made more sense to him to put it down in a blog format rather than a thread. You'll find out why as you read through.

Stuck in the car for half an hour so I'm gonna do a thread (Editor's note: Now a whole-ass blog post) about a strange email I got recently.

So I was casually watching magic tricks on YouTube. the funnest part of which to me is reading the comments. YouTube commenters love explaining how they think the trick is done and it's fun to read through their theories and connect dots between similar tricks, etc.

And then one time as I was scrolling I noticed a comment that didn't make sense. It was a string of an almost sentence. Intelligible enough to not be random words but odd enough to read like a trigger phrase for something.

The closest I can describe it as is like the string Zemo used to wake up the Winter Soldier, but with some syntax to it. Like "many thermos wiggle throughout exotic harbinger of circle ascending fuchsia entrapment".

Initially I thought nothing of it, but then I kept seeing them in these magic trick video comment sections. They're never the same string, and it's always under magic trick videos. from different channels even.

Hmmm.

The profiles that posted these comments are also always blank accounts with zero videos and no profile pic. Just their name. I felt like it was too much of a coincidence for these comments to only be under magic trick videos.

I also knew that the world of performance magic is thick with secrets. That is to say, there is deliberate obfuscation of information whenever you try to go online to find out how a trick works.

Magicians get together online and share information with each other just like performers of every other sort as well but the amount of code and doublespeak they use is an order of magnitude more annoying to decipher compared to say, an engineering message board or a gamedev forum.

Knowing that, I thought maybe this almost parsable gibberish I keep seeing everywhere was also some kind of code these people were using to talk to each other.

So I started investigating.

First things first, let's just Google one of the phrases. Maybe that's enough?

And it sorta was.

Pasting them onto the search bar lent me to only 1 result (wild!) and it was a website that looked really dank. Like geocities dank. Annoying neon colours and badly margined jpegs of tarot card images everywhere and a big bold header text that said something to the effect of:

"Congratulations, you've found our hidden message. This portal is only for those seeking knowledge beyond what is on the surface. Continue below."

* * *

I haven't been doing well. I feel like I say that too much. I say it on Patreon, on my personal podcast, whenever any of my friends ask me how I'm doing, pretty much everywhere. I feel very heavy. I understand I'm not the only one feeling like this during a pandemic.

Duh.

But I have this other version of worry that I can't quite articulate until right now: I'm scared I won't be funny anymore. Anwar and Farid can attest that even during our recordings I don't feel up to being funny. I question my jokes a lot. I barely enjoy telling them. I'm worried I'm letting everyone down.

To me, silliness and absurdism as virtues only make sense when the world has trace amounts of injustice and wrongness that training ourselves to see it in our everyday helps us remind ourselves of what is just and fair. The more we consume silliness, the more we are able to recognize silly and point it out. So we don't ignore it when things go wrong, so we talk about it, manage it. So we can take care of each other.

Maybe I can't be sure if we're all up for taking care of each other right now.

* * *

"Continue below" seems instructive, but it wasn't. Like I mentioned, the margins were haphazard and the CSS was all over the place. Some jpegs were straight up cropped off.

Meaning I can't be sure what "below" meant. But there were clickable images and text so I was readily intrigued.

It was tantalizing. Did I stumble into some secret order of Extremely Online Magicians? Maybe I'll finally find out why there aren't many female magicians out there. Maybe it's some sort of secret initiation to a secret message board full of secrety secrets. Secretly.

Y'all.

I didn't click on any of the linked images or anything. I closed the tab. That was the end of that.

An earlier version of myself would gladly run headlong into this rabbit hole to find out more and sink hours into some goddessforsaken labyrinth of links. But the current version of me recognizes this for what it almost certainly is: an abandoned roleplaying game.

Back in the early 00s when the internet was the realm of nerds and nerds only, it was full of people who loved sharing things for sharing's sake. It used to be punk rock to maintain a blog that only talked about snails or have a lo-fi YouTube channel that uploads biweekly 3-minute news about your house, or manage a little message board where people roleplay as wizards who rummage around the net looking for clues.

That last part was a thing I remember being actively involved in. In '03, a group of online friends and I wrote up a scavenger hunt of sorts where we sent people through various blog pages that we have where the goal is to just dick around and have fun. We wasted each other's time for sure. Hundreds of hours of it for literally no gain at all but for some laughs and fun memories.

The internet isn't like that anymore. People don't share something online for sharing anymore. Not really. There's this idea that if you put stuff out there, you want people's attention because numbers are good. You get a lotta reblogs and RTs and Likes which means people Like you.

If you don't have a lotta numbers, you don't matter. If you do, everyone has to talk about what you said or did because it's 'News' now.

Isn't that kinda gross, you think? That we need people to interact through an app to be sure that we're Liked? I say "we" but I mean me. I've successfully poisoned my brain to believe this to a certain extent too and it's not good.

I felt myself physically react when I closed that geocities magician website tab. I shuddered because my brain went from "this is cool" to "I gotta let people know I found this" to "this'll get me hella RTs" to "ew Muz why did you think that" within 3 seconds and I was disgusted with myself.

As a dude who started my online presence on YouTube and parlayed it into my real life comedy/writing career, I've believed for a long time that doing good work and putting it out there is what it takes for a working creative to make it because that's what I did. So there's this idea that making stuff and having it be seen is some kind of virtuous.

But it's not anymore. People pick fights with children for clout. Newspapers post about people's tweets as if its important. People are investing in crypto, a thing that literally only exists as electrical waste on a grand scale. We're boiling the oceans to yell at each other over nothing and exchange bits of code everyone agrees has ever-rising value but doesn't. Everyone is making and eating junk, it feels like.

So am I making junk? Have I just been making useless junk for literally over a decade now? Is that what I've been good for this entire time?

* * *

So the email.

It was a response from a company I applied to for a job. I applied as a creative writer and they're an advertising agency.

Receiving emails from a prospective employer when you're in need of a job is exciting! So soon after I applied, too. Wonderful. Here's what it said:

We just received your application today but would love to extend the opportunity for you to participate in the Case Competition as a prerequisite of your job application for Creative Writer position with [REDACTED] and stand a chance to be a winner for cash awards up to a total worth of RM1,800.

Yea.

They want me to enter a competition where I compete with other candidates to get a chance of being hired.

This company saw how many people applied for a job with them, and decided to dangle some cash and throw it over the fence to see which candidate will fight for it the most.

I didn't expect to feel vomitous after reading an email but that did it. I almost dry heaved. That's where we are now.

Recruiters see a glut of applicants and decided to play Fall Guys. These people watch Istana Takeshi and think Takeshi is the good guy. It hurts. It hurt me. That email caused me pain.

I can't at all empathise with recruiters who think this was okay to do. They really believed that creative writers will do a little dance for them just for money.

Look, I know we all need to eat. But I can also hate that people undervalue the work of creatives to this painful extent.

I don't give a shit about earning a lot of dough. I just wanna make things that tickle people. I want you to smile more.

That's the whole point of that weird little YouTube comment that led to the quirky website. That's the whole idea of making silly videos and dumb tweets and memes. We just want you to laugh.

But it seems people think so little of joy that they'll do whatever they can to avoid legitimately supporting and paying for stuff that gets them through the day. So much so that they want free work from us for the potential of maybe being able to get paid for more work. It breaks me, man.

I hate that I cannot make a living just trying my best to make people happy.

That's the best way I know to take care of you.

I know I don't just 'make junk' for a living. People have messaged me personally that my work has helped them get through tough times in school, in their relationships, at the office and I am eternally grateful that they took the time to tell me that.

I just also wish my feelings about my work aren't easily brought down by the majority of people who insist its worthless. Even if sometimes those people is me.

So forgive me if I won't be funny for a while. I'm gonna need some time to process this. Thank you for reading. I love you.

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dukedrakes · 5 years ago

Text

Pass The Sugar

Pairing: Drake Walker x MC (Rose)

Rating: G

Words: 2K

Summary: Drake attends his daughter’s tea party.

This image as literally been in my head for months!!! I can’t believe my headcanon of drake having a baby girl is actually canon now!! I started writing this before the first chapter of book 2 was released and the fact that in Drake’s diamond scene MC spoke about Drake having tea parties with his daughter…..it’s fate. PB just hire me to write a Drake centric book already. This is just pure fluff!!! A nice break from my usual mutual pining and angst.

Don’t forget to tell me what you think, Reblog and Like! Enjoy!

Find my other work here.

Taglist: @emceesynonymroll @butindeed @saivilo @ibldw-main@drakeswalkers @maxwellshippo @i-bloody-love-drake-walker @drakewalkerwhipped @cora-nova @kayden-vescovi @katedrakeohd @ladyangel70 @drakesensworld @ccolz88-blog @i-miss-trr @lady-kato @nazario-sayeed @perriewinklenerdie @furiouscloddonutpeanut @choicesyouplayandmore @drakewalker04 @innerpostmentality @carreraleigh

(I curated the tag list by adding people who wanted to be tagged + people who interacted with any of my posts of or about my fics and/or are mutuals/friends, so if you’d like to be added or removed, let me know!)

Drake could hear the high-pitched chatter and squeals from the other room as he sat on the couch in the living room. He had the T.V turned down low enough to hear the little voice of his daughter talk to her soft toys. He tried to concentrate on the news bulletin but her voice was too adorable to ignore. He turned on the couch and peeked over the back, looking into the room his daughter was in. He couldn’t stop the smile from breaking on his face.

She was wearing a Disney princess dress she had received for her fourth birthday a month before. Drake was almost 90% sure it was Princess Aurora’s. On her head, she wore a plastic crown encrusted with fake jewels, her ringleted hair in pigtails. She was pouring pretend tea from a teapot into a matching cup for a yellow bear with a bow tie.

“Of course, you can have more tea, Bernard—I mean, Sir. There’s plenty to go around” she said in her most polite and poshest voice. Drake’s smile grew.

“I’m so glad you could all come to the tea party today.” She said politely as she sat down and pretended to drink her tea, her small pinkie finger in the air.

Drake turned off the TV as she continued to chatter away to herself and her toys. He stood up and went to the kitchen, getting her favourite plate from the draws – the one with rose’s on them – like her mom’s name. He grabbed two of each of her favourite biscuits, the pink ones with the sprinkles, the teddy bear chocolate ones and the ones with jam in the middle and arranged them on the plate. He carried the plate to the room and peeked around the door and saw her clutching the yellow teddy with the bow tie’s – Bernard’s – paw with the cup and making him drink his tea. He smiled again.

“Hazel?” He said.

Her head whipped toward him. “Daddy!” She quickly forgot about Bernard and his tea and ran to hug his legs.

Drake placed his free hand on the back of her head, stroking the hair with this thumb. “I’ve brought some biscuits for your tea party. Only the bestest ones of course.”

Hazel looked up at him, her arms still around the backs of his knees and her chin resting on his kneecaps. “Can you stay and play, Daddy?”

Drake looked at his daughter. Saying no wasn’t even an option. He gently crouched down in front of her. “Only if I don’t have to sit next to Bernard.” He grinned.

“Daddy! That’s not very nice! But of course, you’re sitting next to me.” Hazel said as she went back to the table and got out another cup and poured some ‘tea’ into the cup for Drake.

“Where should I put the biscuits, Princess?” Drake asked.

Hazel looked at her table and thought for a moment. “In front of us, Bernard is allergic to biscuits.”

“Oh, is he now?” Drake smiled as he placed the plate down, knowing that she only just made that up.

“Yes. It’s very serious.” Hazel confirmed, nodding her head as she sat down in the small wooden chair. “Sit down, Daddy!”

Drake looked at the small chair and wondered how he’d fit his tall and broad frame on it. He sat down slowly on the chair, hoping not to break it with his weight. His knees were close to his ears, but it would work.

“Can you pass the sugar please, sweetheart?” Drake said, in a posh and polite accent.

“Of course, Daddy” Hazel replied and passed the plastic bowl of ‘sugar cubes’ to her father.

Drake took the bowl. “Thank you.” He said and pretended to scoop some ‘sugar cubes’ into his ‘tea’.

“Now, let’s sip our teas. But no slurping – it hurts Bernard’s ears.” Hazel commanded, sipping her tea politely with her pinkie out, her other hand holding the saucer.

Drake lifted the plastic cup, his large fingers holding the small handle and bringing it to his lips. He held the saucer in the other hand.

“Daddy!” Hazel exclaimed. “You’re not holding it right!”

Drake looked at his hands. “What am I doing wrong, sweetheart?”

“Your pinkie needs to be out! Like this! Like a proper lady.” Hazel shook the hand holding her cup and wiggled her pinkie finger to show what she meant.

“But I’m not a lady, Haze.” Drake said, his eyebrow raised mischievously.

“Yes, you are!” Hazel giggled, putting her tea down and getting off her seat and rushing her to her dress-up box. She pulled out dresses, fairy wings and wands onto the floor before she pulled out a tiara. Forgetting the mess, she ran back over and placed the tiara gently on Drake’s head. “There. Now you’re definitely a lady!” Hazel giggled.

Drake laughed as he touched the tiara gently. “Do I look pretty, Haze?”

“Very.” Hazel nodded seriously.

Drake shook his head. “I don’t believe you.”

“Daddy!” Hazel giggled.

“Look! Bernard is laughing at me! He thinks I look ridiculous.” Drake pointed at the innocent yellow teddy bear who was very clearly not laughing at all because he was an inanimate object.

Hazel erupted into giggles. Drake laughed along with her. “Daddy! You’re very pretty!”

“Are you sure?” Drake asked seriously. “I don’t want to be a lady if I’m not going to be a pretty one.”

“I promise, Daddy.” Hazel said, still giggling a little.

“Good. Now,” Drake said, placing his tea down on the table and rubbing his hands together. “is it time for biscuits?”

“Yes!” Hazel cried as she placed her tea down.

“Now, we have to be careful. We have to make sure Bernard doesn’t have any. Not even a crumb because of his allergy.” Drake said seriously.

Hazel nodded in agreement. “It’s a very serious allergy.” She looked at the plate. “Which ones should we have first, Daddy?”

Drake tapped his finger on his lips. “Hmm…well, the pink ones with sprinkles should definitely be last. Because they’re your favourite and we want to save the best to last.”

Hazel nodded. “What about the jam ones? They’re my third favourite.”

“Okay, let’s have the jam ones first, then.” Drake said.

“Then the chocolate ones!” Hazel chimed with a grin on her face.

“Good. Then it’s settled.” Drake nodded once and grabbed a jam biscuit for himself, Hazel reached for hers. Soon, they had finished all the biscuits on the plate. And Bernard was unharmed.

“They were yummy biscuits weren’t they, Hazel?” Drake said, rubbing his belly.

Hazel nodded enthusiastically. “MmHm” She replied as she copied Drake and rubbed her belly.

“So, what else happens at a tea party, Haze?” Drake asked.

Hazel tilted her head as she thought for a moment, her lips pursed before she had an idea. “Oh! There’s always dancing at tea parties.”

Drake frowned. “Is there?”

“Yep. But we don’t have any music.” Hazel pouted.

Drake pulled his phone out of his pocket. “I can fix that.” He opened up Spotify and Hazel peered over his arm, her small hands resting on his forearm. “Play The Lion King!” Hazel said excitedly.

Drake looked at his daughter with a quizzical smile. “Is that the kind of music played at tea parties?”

“Oh, yes.” Hazel said with a serious nod, very sure of her knowledge.

Drake laughed and pressed play on The Lion King’s Just Can’t Wait To Be King from the 1994 soundtrack. Hazel giggled and started dancing, her bare feet jumping on the carpet. “Come on, Daddy!”

“What about Bernard?” Drake asked, gesturing to the yellow teddy.

“Daddy! Can’t you see he’s sleeping?” Hazel said as she carried on dancing.

Drake looked over at the bear. “I thought he seemed a bit quiet.”

Hazel erupted into giggles as Drake stood up and watched his daughter dance for a moment. He was incredibly lucky to have her in his life. He had never known joy and happiness and love before her. He adored her. And would do anything for her. Anything to make her happy. Her smile and her energy were contagious and every day he thought he couldn’t love her more than he already does, but every day he loves her more and more. He knew that he and Rose were so lucky to have such a beautiful little girl.

“Daddy! You have to dance!” Hazel laughed.

“I don’t know how!” Drake threw up his hands in faux ignorance. “Can you teach me?”

“Okay, Daddy!”

Hazel reached out and grabbed her father’s hands and started jumping. Drake laughed and moved his arms back and forth and wiggled his hips. Hazel giggled and copied her dad, sticking out her bum and wiggling. Drake twirled Hazel around, making Hazel laugh more. Drake laughed and picked up his daughter, holding her on his side, one hand around her back and the other holding her hand as they danced together to the chorus. Drake spun and dipped her, making her laugh.

Rose placed her keys in the bowl by the door, hung up her coat and scarf and slipped off her shoes. She could hear music, squeals and giggles coming from inside the house. She smiled as she walked towards the noise and peered through the door. The sight she saw erupted butterflies in her stomach.

Her husband in a plastic tiara and their daughter dancing together to the Disney songs, with the remains of a tea party on the table, which included an empty plate full of crumbs.

She watched them dance with a smile and tried to stop herself from tearing up. Drake was laughing and smiling as he spun Hazel around, who squealed in delight and asked for him to do it again in between fits of giggles.

“What’s going on in here?” Rose smiled as she crossed her arms.

“Mommy!” Hazel cried and reached her arms out to her mother.

Rose moved to grab her from Drake and Hazel wrapped her arms around her mom’s neck and her legs around her torso. “Me and Daddy are having a tea party.” She said matter-of-factly.

“Are you, now? And is Daddy being the best lady at the tea party?” Rose asked Hazel as she looked at Drake with a smile on her face.

“Yes.” Hazel giggled.

“Are you sure?” Rose teased.

“Yes! I gave Daddy a tiara!” Hazel cried.

Rose laughed as she looked at Drake who grinned and adjusted the tiara still sitting on his head. “Good. I’m glad Daddy was the best lady.”

“Come and dance with us, Mommy!” Hazel exclaimed bouncing in Rose’s arms.

Rose looked at Drake with a smile. “Oh, I don’t know…”

“Please, Mommy!” Hazel pleaded. “Daddy! Tell Mommy she has to dance with us!”

Drake laughed. “I think it’ll be unwise to refuse the host, darling.”

“Oh! Alright then!” Rose conceded and placed Hazel down as she cheered with delight and resumed dancing to Strangers Like Me from Tarzan.

Rose and Drake moved towards each other and shared a kiss before they started dancing together.

“You have no idea how adorable you look right now.” Rose said to Drake with a smile.

Drake smiled back. “I think I have an idea.”

Rose laughed as they swayed together, Hazel jumping up and down with Bernard in their peripheral vision. “I’ll never tire seeing you with her.”

Drake looked down at their daughter who was spinning whilst holding onto Bernard’s paws. “I’ll never tire of being with her.”

Rose looked at Drake with an adoring look in her eyes. So grateful to have such an amazing man in her life that cared about her and their daughter more than he or she could ever describe.

Drake looked back at her with a smile before he moved in to give Rose a long and lingering kiss.

“Ewww!” Hazel cried in disgust, interrupting their private moment.

Drake and Rose laughed as Hazel held up her arms to let her parents know she wanted to be lifted up again. Drake lifted her up and Hazel wrapped her arms around her mom and dad.

The three of them laughed and danced together, blissfully in their own world.

A family.

I hope you all enjoyed it! Let me know what you thought!

Remember to Reblog and Like!

#playchoices #drake walker x mc #drake walker #the royal heir #the royal romance #larissa's fics #larissa's drabbles #pass the sugar #choices fic #playchoices fic #choices oneshot #playchoices one shot #drake walker fic #pixelberry #choices: stories you play #choices

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tjkiahgb · 5 years ago

Text

Listen, I got so caught up in Tyrus Week, spending hours and hours going through tags and liking posts and queuing reblogs, that I pretty much pushed everything else to the side. (Plus I’ve also been working on the next thing I’ll tell you guys about in the next few days.)

All that is to say, I got a lot of stuff in my inbox this last week, so I’m just going to tackle a bunch of them in... A LIGHTNING ROUND.

Let’s go.

And before you ask, yes, I made a graphic for it.

Looks like this Andi Mack finale party has turned into... a death party.

Would’ve been a strange choice for Terri Minsky to turn the finale of Andi Mack into a murder mystery, but if that’s what she wanted, I’d trust her.

I don’t watch that show but I know some people who do and they’ve told me it’s just light and airy and pleasant, so, yeah, sounds right up Cyrus’s alley.

You guys are shouting Lightning Round! every time the graphic comes up, right?

I, like TJ, am just some guy. I tell everyone who asks to call me Jay. Jay is long for “J”, which is short for another name that I, also like TJ, only let people related to me by blood or my soulmate know about. I will say it’s not Jagger, though. I wish.

That wasn’t my intention while writing TJ and the Gals, but as with all art, or whatever TJ and the Gals was, once it’s out of the creator’s hands, it belongs to the people.

No.

Thelonious Jagger Kippen Is A Hashtag Good Boi.

Shoutout to my FAQ page, where you can find information like this and more. Not blaming you, anon, I’ve gotten this a lot and the FAQ page is hard to find. I mostly just delete the question and let the anon live in mystery because I’m chaotic something. I’m only answering this now because it’s the

You know the shook_bitch? Thank them from me for getting Disney Channel to respond to them, and congratulate them on being the subject of the best comment the Disney Channel Instagram account ever made.

Yeah, I went back and checked and Jonah only says in 3x12 that his dad made a bad investment, not lost a job or anything.

It really seems like he’s been managing the Judy Bartholomew fortune all these years. We don’t know anything else of him other than he was once a background workout video guy and he has at least enough knowledge about baseball to coach little league.

Hopefully the new job is providing him with a solid salary, but if not, I think the world is ready for a Judy Bartholomew comeback.

Judy Bartholomew: Still Trottin’ After All These Years

I’m not entirely sure exactly which girl we’re talking about here. I think this one:

I will say, she does seem into it. She’s like, oh, things are about to get gay in here.

Honestly, there were so many background actors killing it in this scene.

You’ve got this guy...

...who hears the beginning of “Born This Way” and reacts like it’s ruined his evening. I mean, I was a little tired of it, too, when it was being played on the radio over and over and over, but it’s been some years. It’s not overplayed as much anymore and it definitely wouldn’t make me this upset. (He pops up later in the song and is happily dancing, so maybe he thought it was the beginning of a different song?)

Then there’s this girl...

...who is feeling it. She’s like, hell yeah, this is my jam!

And there’s this girl in the goggles...

...who, after TJ and Cyrus sing the “be myself, respect my youth” part, is like, okayyyy. I see you.

Here’s a fun(?) behind-the-scenes thing for this blog. A few months back, I was thinking about ways to replace “Moments” if we had, by some miracle, gotten a season four, since I would’ve run out of moments weeks after the finale. What I came up with was “The Random Andi Mack Extra of the Day.” It would’ve just been screenshots of random extras throughout the show’s run. Upon some reflection, this was a bad idea.

The first problem here is that I get the feeling those posts would’ve gotten, at most, 20-30 notes each, because no one really cares about random, out of context extras and it doesn’t seem like a thing people would want to reblog.

The second problem is, knowing myself, I probably would’ve spent hundreds of hours during the hiatus between s3 and s4 making 1000 of them in the first place, just so I could have them ready to go. I would’ve absolutely done this without testing the waters first to see if there was any interest. (Just like with the “Moments.” I made like 300 of them before I made the first post about them.)

So, the most likely scenario was going to be me, two weeks into “The RAMEotD,” looking at flopping posts, then looking at my folder of 800 screenshots of Andi Mack extras and going, “Well, what am I going to do, not post them? I already did all the work!” And I would keeping queuing them up, and they would keep appearing on this blog every day, and they would taunt me with their 22 notes. You remember the work you did? IT WAS FOR BUT A PITTANCE!

So I guess what I’m saying is maybe it’s for the best. The cancellation saves me from myself.

Hey, though, heads up. If and when you go back and watch the series again, pay attention to the extras -- the unsung heroes of the entertainment industry. There are some extras reallllly putting in work on this show. It absolutely adds to the delightful quality of Andi Mack. Every time I would spot someone in the background being goofy or really overselling whatever they were supposed to be experiencing, it filled me with joy.

It’s a fun show. Everything about it is fun, including the little details.

Ooh, a serious one. This is going to be my first ever hybrid Discussion/Analysis post.

Okay, so I think we’re talking about two different things here.

I won’t argue that I think Tyrus could have absolutely happened sooner and been explored more.

I obviously can’t say with certainty, but I assume that was at least somewhat the plan leading out of season two. The setup for their relationship was all already there by the end of it. They’d met, they had bumps, they grew really close, and they capped the whole season off with TJ looking back at Cyrus. All the elements were in place that you could jump right into this storyline in TJ’s next appearance. (Not necessarily them canoning, but at least the exploration of TJ’s feelings or some movement towards canoning.)

When Cyrus’s lookback happened, it was addressed in the very next episode (granted following a break in seasons). I don’t know that TJ’s would’ve been as immediate, but I don’t think you have him look back in the season two finale if you don’t intend on truly paying it off for 21 episodes. (Or, at least 13, if you want to say 3x13 was the real start of a storyline involving TJ’s homosexuality.)

So, yeah, look, I’m speculating wildly, but I would imagine the original creative idea was to address TJ’s lookback early in season three and start getting into it, and that, yes, that idea was likely kiboshed from above.

What I will argue is that the bench scene is subtle but not ambiguous. We’ve made the semi-joke constantly around here that there’s “No heterosexual explanation for this!” but, truly, there is no heterosexual explanation for the bench scene: two boys, one of whom has already explicitly stated he’s gay, slowly reaching for and holding each other’s hands, intertwining their fingers while they sit by the fire and stare into each other’s eyes, nervously smiling. This is something that has been built towards for multiple seasons. If you’ve been watching the show, if you’ve been paying attention to it, if you care about the characters, especially TJ and Cyrus, it’s very clear what’s happening here.

This feels like talking about people who weren’t sure Cyrus was gay after the first two times he came out because he didn’t use the word. Or people who thought Cyrus wasn’t gay anymore after he said his crush on Jonah was gone. I sympathize with some of the younger set who maybe don’t have the world sense to follow along with this, but, come on, at some point, we’re three seasons in and you have to keep up with the level of the storytelling. I don’t mean this in an insulting way, but if someone can’t get what’s happening here, then maybe this whole thing isn’t for them. Maybe if all they know right now is that Cyrus is gay and accepted and happy, then that’s good enough, and they can hold onto that idea and grow with that and catch the next train, whenever it comes along. Maybe this moment is for all the people who get it.

That’s about the kids in the casual audience. Now, if we’re talking about an adult homophobe -- one who would express the kind of outrage that we believe Disney fears -- it’s a different story. If an adult homophobe is really watching that scene and thinking, “Seems pretty straight to me” then it feels like it doesn’t matter what they would’ve done in the finale. They could’ve said “gay,” they could’ve said “boyfriend,” Cyrus and TJ could’ve lead a pride parade down the street outside Celia’s house while blasting -- well, I was going to pick a gay song here for the joke, but probably “Born This Way” would be the most appropriate one, so -- “Born This Way” from loud speakers, and that homophobe would’ve been like, “Nice parade.” As ignorant as homophobes are, even they are not that dense. An adult pretending Tyrus isn’t a couple after the bench scene requires a level of impenetrably willful ignorance.

Anyway, the truth is that angry homophobes aren’t watching the show. They never do. They like to read headlines and get mad, but they’re cowardly and, most of all, lazy, and they don’t like to put in the actual footwork. They like to leave comments on articles they haven’t read, about shows they haven’t watched. They like to post reactions to stuff they see in their Facebook feed or send one sentence responses like, “There goes Disney Channel!!!” or “What is happening to our country?!?!” And then they like to scroll on to the next thing that will feed their sad rage about how the world is changing around them.

If you want to think about Disney censorship as a way of preventing those homophobes from being outraged, it’s not the textuality of the scene itself, it’s the placement at the end. Delaying them canoning until the finale just makes for less work. Show’s over. There’s nothing to defend. No one’s signing a petition to get a show off the air that’s just aired its last episode. Most of the articles written will be about everything happening in the finale, and Tyrus would just be a part of it.

And that is more or less what’s happened. Just about every major article I’ve seen about the finale has discussed Tyrus, and discussed them as textually getting together -- again, there’s no ambiguity there -- but has also brought them up in conjunction with what happened with Andi and Jonah, with Muffy getting together, and with Andi getting into SAVA. And the articles themselves tend to largely be about the show ending as a whole and its impact. (No one needs to send me articles trying to prove or disprove this. I’ve been over a lot of them. Some are more Tyrus focused -- the ones in the gay media for sure -- and some just mention it -- more traditional media sources. This is the general gist of most of them.)

So the article headlines mostly read “Andi Mack Finale” or “Andi Mack Ends Run” or something like that. The homophobes -- who, again, aren’t watching the show and are getting all their information about it via article headlines -- see those headlines and don’t even remember Andi Mack was the show they hated from two years ago because their rage is mostly performative and short-lived. They get mad in the minute but forget about the specifics of the stuff within a day.

Like I said in the recap, I won’t argue that there’s a scene with more that wouldn’t work, but I personally don’t see the bench scene as not having accomplished everything it needed to.

Oh, that went longer than I thought it was going to be. Not very lightning round of me.

This actually got sent a while back but it was still in my inbox and I figured I’d throw it in here in case the anon saw it. Lightning round!

Sorry, anon, I wasn’t ignoring you and I appreciate you reading my old recaps, but you were the second anon to piece together that I am actually blessed with psychic powers.

I don’t really have any plans to, sorry.

I had only planned to do one set before and after the finale for Tyrus Week, but I will point you and anyone else interested in making their own TJ and Cyrus texts to this post I made that should give you the basic tools needed for the job. (Use them! You wouldn’t believe what a pain in the butt it was to get that background clean like that!)

Thank you, honestly. That’s so, so sweet. But I have no plans to do that.

Like I mentioned at the start of this post, I’m working on something now that I’ll tell you guys about shortly that’s look-backy and will hit on some stuff from those seasons. (Though not in the same vein as the recaps.)

The recaps take a long time to produce, and as much as I’ve loved this show and this fandom, I will be honest and tell you guys I am sort of planning my exit.

This blog has become something of a part-time job for me. Not in the work sense because I have truly enjoyed all this, but just in the time sense. I’ve put a lot of time in and I would like to rededicate that time back toward other things I’ve put on hold for the last year and a half.

It’s starting to feel like making you shout Lightning Round! each time was a mistake now that I’m answering stuff seriously or sadly.

I was getting emotional multiple times while writing it, because of the show, because of the fandom, because of this whole journey we’ve all been on together.

I appreciate you saying this so much because that’s what I’ve always hoped has come through in the things I’ve written about this show. That I’ll make jokes or point out holes or goofy details or whatever, but that I couldn’t do this -- I couldn’t commit myself to this as much as I have -- if I truly didn’t love the show. That everything I’m doing here comes from a place of love and celebrating the show and embracing it for its good stuff and its silly stuff.

It wasn’t a perfect show, but that was always what made it kind of perfect.

Thanks for the asks. Thus ends the lightning round.

#Andi Mack #analysis #discussion #blog stuff #LIGHTNING ROUND!

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amberandmetal · 6 years ago

Text

Covered in you

Square filled: Laughing together for @marvelfluffbingo Pairing: Bucky x Reader Warnings: Smut but not very graphically detailed, angst as in seperation anxiety but it’s not very angsty at all. As always with my fics there’s a big risk for f-bombs so keep that in mind. Rating: E Word count: ca 900 Summary: Back in the 40′s Bucky is ready to move out to war, he is not so entused however to leave his girl behind. Mushy half angsty fluff ensues. A/N: This is a short little something I wrote like a few weeks ago and for some reason I haven’t posted it, I think maybe I was a bit insecure about how short it is and thought I could make it longer- but you know what? I like it like this. Short and sweet, that’s how I roll! It’s very romantic kinda fluff imo and I really love this one if I say so myself. This too, I think, is a gender neutral reader as no pronouns are used. I am not a big blog so I don’t get a lot of comments or reblogs so if you like this, please take a moment to let me know. It really means the world to me and I answer every reblog and reply ♡ As always: english is my 2nd language, this is unbetad, all mistakes are my own.

~~~

“Mm, ‘m gonna miss this smell.”

A shiver tickled up your spine. A pavlovian response to the nose burrowing into your hair and neck, taking deep breaths that made your skin prickle. You gave him an amused look through the dresser mirror.

“M-hm, and I do stand by what I said.. This world is simply unfair, how is a girl gonna get anything done when all she can think about is how much she misses these hands,” you turned in his arms, making his hands slide around your waist, you took them in yours and brought them to your face, “these fingers,” you kissed each one carefully, “these palms,” you gave each the same treatment before holding them to your cheeks and looked up into his eyes, “and those sweet silvery blues, huh? Did they ever think about that before diving head first into this silly war?”

Bucky chuckled quietly, gripping your chin between thumb and finger and angling your head slightly to the side so he could delve back in, mouthing and nosing along your neck.

“It is what it is, sweetheart. And in the meantime I intend to commit every little piece of ya to memory, especially this, hmm- tantalizing smell,” he drew in a deep breath right behind your ear, making you giggle and swat at him, but he just chuckled, burrowing deeper “no, really what is that?” In no time he had you squirming and laughing in his arms, pushing at him half heartedly, not really trying to actually get away.

“Bucky!” you shrieked, happily retaliating by trying to kiss every inch of his face.

“Oh, now you’ve done it. You’re going down!”

He gripped your waist, flinging both of you backwards onto the bed, squeezing a very unladylike squeal from you in the process. You both laughed as you wrestled around on the bed for a while like a couple of children, until something in his touches changed; his hands started to grip a little bit tighter - rougher, his face bore into your skin with a little more force, and his breaths came in with a lot more weight.

You lay on the sheets facing each other, his hands squeezing rhythmically at your sides. You reached out to brush a strand of hair from his forehead, the colour shining umber in the low light from the streetlamp outside the window.

“I will miss you.” There was something heartbreakingly final in his voice.

“You’re scared.” It wasn’t a question, and he didn’t answer. He just pulled you close, letting his mouth fall open to close around your bottom lip. There was no desperation or urgency there, just an underlying current of need, and it was simmering in you both.

James Buchanan Barnes knew his way around a bedroom and he never left you unsatisfied. Sex with the newly made Sergeant was exciting and did not lack in neither laughs nor heat. But this time was different. There were no smirks, no playfulness, no filthy remarks to make your blood boil. Just a silent plea and an unspoken need.

He removed your dress slowly, not once extracting himself from you, letting those big strong hands trail over your naked skin as he pushed the garment down. His eyes looked big and open - soft.

He moved all over you, letting his hands, lips and tongue dance over every inch of your body, playing you like a finely tuned instrument until your skin was alight with song.

Neither of you spoke, there was something unsaid there that just made sense. This was him making sure you knew how he felt without risking the words.

Your knee. A kiss.

I love you.

Your hip. A kiss.

I love you.

Your neck. A kiss.

I love you.

When he finally entered you it felt like you could breathe for the first time in days; because whatever the future held for the two of you, you had him here now. You had Bucky in your arms, whole, safe and as close as two human beings could be.

He moved slow but with force, as if emphasizing every languid stroke until he reached as far in as he could go, pushing your buttons and making you gasp from the tiny fireworks that danced low in your belly.

His hands, his wonderful hands, were all over, stroking, petting, mapping you out; tracing the words across your flesh into a silent tattoo so you’d never forget.

I love you. I love you. I love you.

He slowed, keeping his hips firmly planted against the meat of your drawn up thighs- you hoped his weight would leave you with bruises to remember- foregoing the chase of his climax in favour of having you close. You moved together, hungry and silent, well into the night until you both were spent, falling together into a dreamless sleep; his arms holding you close, and every inch of your skin marked in invisible words, hidden away for only you to keep.

#marvelfluffbingo2019 #bucky barnes #bucky x reader #bucky imagine #40's bucky #reader insert #bucky barnes x reader #bucky x you #captain america #mcu #the avengers

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dobrienbabe · 5 years ago

Text

Answers || Lydia Martin

Original Post: on ssimagines

Pairing: Lydia Martin x reader

Word Count: 3402

Warnings: girl x girl?(don’t read it if you are sensitive to that), forced kiss, general assholeness, sorta unrequited love, and fluff

Request: # 71,83 & 97 with Lydia Martin pls <3

Prompts: 71. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life”

83. “You did this for me?

97. “If I ever see you anywhere near her, you’ll have to deal with me!”

Note: This is for a female reader specifically.

This is obviously already been posted, but since I started my smaller blogs, I wanted all my work for each fandom in one place. Instead of just reblogging everything I figured that I would repost it.

Request/Taglist

Masterlist

It was a normal unordinary day at Beacon Hills High School. That sentence alone sounded weird to you. Normal wasn’t something that you experienced often, so you were enjoying it.

The bell rang alerting you that your final class of the week was officially over. You wasted no time to pull your bag off the ground and rush out of the classroom. You scanned the hallway for the familiar strawberry blonde hair of your best friend. Making your way to the stairs, you tried to get a better vantage point to see over all the others.

Lydia was over by her locker. She seemed pinned to it by none other than Tommy Scott, a senior known for being a bit of a player. He was a grade A asshole, the human kind.

You pushed through the crowd of teenagers to get to your best friend before Tommy can do anything to massively stupid. Every step you made almost felt like a step backwards as you were meet with resistance from every push. Eventually you did make it through the massive crowd of teens trying to get out the building.

Tommy had Lydia almost trapped against her locker. He held onto the door of her locker with one hand and leaned against the wall of lockers on the other side of the girl. Lydia looked at him pained as if she was trying her best to hold her tongue. She was probably trying to hold back a quick-witted insult.

You caught her eye when you got out of the crowd of people and approached the two teens. You were able to make your way to them in a matter of seconds. Tommy was still completely unaware of your presence. He continued to talk to Lydia about some party this weekend at his place.

“Lydia, you ready to go?” you said interrupting the Tommy. He practically screamed as he jumped at the sound of your voice. A small smile emerged from beneath the disgust on Lydia’s face which brought a small smirk to your face. Now that Tommy wasn’t blocking Lydia off you went to stand by her side as she pulled you into a hug.

“Y/N, what a pleasure to see you,” Tommy hissed like the snake that he was. He shot daggers at you for interrupting, but that just made stand taller. Your goal for coming over was to get Lydia, but pissing off Tommy was definitely a bonus.

“Wish I could say the same, Tommy,” you said raising your voice up an octave. You even gave Tommy a small smirk.

“Tommy was just telling me about a party he’s hosting tonight,” Lydia said also using a higher pitched voice. “You should tell Y/N. She loves parties. Right, Y/N?”

“Yes, of course,” you said with still high tone. “Tell me about this party, Tommy.” Tommy just pursed his lips at you. Lydia reacted by wrapping her arm around you. Tommy let out a deep frustrated sigh and brought his hand to rub his face.

“I was just inviting Lydia here to a small party I’m hosting tonight,” Tommy said. His shoulders were slouched and his words dragged as he talked. “It starts at 9, my place. There will be a keg, but I’m trying to keep it sorta small for now.” “We will be there,” Lydia said looking to you for approval. You just gave her a sly smile in return as well as a nod.

“Yes, we will,” you said looking back at Tommy. He pursed his lips at the two of you as head nodded.

“Okay, see you there,” he said turning and walking away. As soon as he disappeared into the thinning crowd, you turned to Lydia. You took Tommy’s place leaning against the lockers. Lydia turned to her locker to take some books out of her bag and shove them in as well as take some books out of her locker and shove them into her bag.

“Tommy?” you said raising your eyebrows. She just rolled her eyes at you and kept moving books around. “Did he approach you or did you approach him? Do you like him now? Are you just trying to get laid? What’s going on Lydia?”

“Nothing is going on,” Lydia said. “Do you want to go to this party or do you want to dip out and stay at my place?”

The idea of staying in with Lydia was so appealing to you. You couldn’t help but want to be alone with her. She was your best friend, but she was your crush too. For that reason, you knew better than to agree to just spending time with just her.

The last time you had one of your just you two nights, you two had gotten massively drunk and confessed to her. You were lucky that she didn’t remember anything in the morning.

“Let’s go to the party,” you said with an encouraging smile. “If it’s a flop, we can just go back to your place.”

“Sounds good,” She said. “I’ll pick you up at 9:30?” “Perfect,” you said as you turned in the direction of your locker needing to drop some books off there. You waved to her as she headed toward the door.

You were nursing a red solo cup with bland warm beer. You weren’t actually drinking it, but rather holding to make sure no one tried to give you something else. Lydia was off talking to some of her other friends as you sat with Scott and Stiles. You were sitting to the left of Scott as Stiles sat next to him on the arm of the couch.

You felt the couch dip beside you. You turned to look to see a drunk Tommy sitting next to you. He had this shit eating grin on his face as he starred dazed ahead.

“Do you need something?” you asked. You were slightly amused at his demeanor.

“Lydia is so gorgeous, ya know that?” tommy said rolling his head to look at you before rolling it back to where he was looking before. You turned to see his gaze was on a smiling Lydia on the dance floor.

“Yeah, she is,” you said looking at her.

“You are so lucky to have such a banging best friend, you know that right?” Tommy said beside you. He let out a bit of a laugh. You looked at him disapprovingly.

“You’re such a pig,” you rolled your eyes at him. “You’ve been trying to get her to sleep with you for the past two months. You know that’s never gonna happen right?”

Tommy looked shocked for a moment. You let out a stifle of laughter at the expression on his face and shook your head to return to looking at Lydia.

You caught her gaze, and she smiled and waved to you. You gave her a half smile before waving back to her. The smell of alcohol overwhelmed your senses. You turned to the source of the smell to see Tommy’s face really close to yours.

You jerked back out of disgust and shock. Your face distorted as you scrunch your nose up and furrowed your eyebrows. He lurched forward connecting his lips with yours. Your mouth was filled with the disgusting taste of beer as Tommy’s rough lips pressed against yours.

You yanked away from him. Tommy just leaned back laughing.

“What the hell Tommy?” you practically screamed at him. You stood up from your spot on the couch catching the attention of the two teen boys that were sitting beside you. They stared at you confused.

Tommy stood up too moving towards you. He placed his lips on yours again. You stepped backwards quickly. You raised your hand to slap him, but you couldn’t bring yourself to slap him.

“What’s your deal Y/L/N?” Tommy said as he held his cheek in his hand. “Girls just fall all over themselves to get my attention. Here I am, offering myself to you, and you jump away from me? I give you an out to all the jokes that you like girls. I give you a chance to prove them wrong.”

“I didn’t really want you to kiss me now did I?” you screamed back at him. Scott and Stiles stood behind you protectively.

“Now you have these lackeys backing you up, huh?” Tommy said coming at you.

He was really close to you now. It made you uncomfortable with him looming over you.

“Tommy back off,” Lydia’s voice rang out from beside you. The two of you whipped around to see the strawberry blonde starring Tommy down. She had left her other friends on the dance floor probably after seeing the first kiss the he planted on your lips.

“What is to you, Lydia?” he asked looking her up and down. “You interested now or are you just here to defend your little girlfriend here? That’s what she is isn’t she or is it just a one-way street? She likes you, but you don’t like her. Am I right?”

“Leave her out of this,” Lydia demanded. She stood tall and held her head up high. Tommy approached her. Out of the corner of your eye you saw Scott and Stiles backed off slightly both being a bit afraid of Lydia.

“What are you going to do about it?” He said. Then he turned to back to you. He approached you and ran his fingers lightly up your arm. “She is all talk and no bite, aren’t you?”

You flinched away from him. That’s was the last straw for Lydia. She placed a hand on Tommy’s chest and pushed him away from you.

“Don’t you dare touch her. If I ever see you anywhere near her, you’ll have to deal with me!” Lydia said.

You gently took her hand in yours. She looked back at you to see the pleading look you wore on your face. She shook her head at him.

“You’re not worth it,” she said before turning back to you. “let’s get out of here, okay?”

You just nodded as she pulled you outside to get in her car.

Neither of you spoke the way back to Lydia’s house. The drive was completely silent as you waited for her to speak first.

When you finally pulled into her driveway, you realized that you were probably going to have to speak first. She turned off the car as you tried to gather your thoughts. The headlights turned off after a moment of the two of you just sitting there. You heard the click of Lydia’s seatbelt followed by the shuffle of Lydia turning in her seat. You leaned your head back against the headrest and turned to look at her.

“Lydia,” you started as she spoke too.

“Listen…” She said. You both stopped and waited for the other to speak. You let out a stifle of laughter as you watched her do the same.

“You first,” you said gesturing for her to continue. She let a deep sigh as she looked at you.

“Why did you have us go tonight Y/N?” Lydia said. A frown crept up onto her face. You weren’t sure what to say. You took a deep breath and let it out slowly. No longer wanting to face her you turned to look out the windshield.

“Lydia, I…” you trailed off as you looked at the strawberry blonde. What were you going to say?

If you were to tell her the truth, your relationship with her as you know would be over. How could you tell her that you didn’t want to be alone with her? If you made it out to be what it was then your feelings would be revealed, but if you didn’t you would come off as not wanting to be around her. You were sure that if you were to lie to her she would sniff you out right away.

“What Tommy said back there…” she said slowly. Her words eloquently flowed out of her mouth. “Is it true? Do you like me?”

You were in deep now. You only saw one option at this point. You were going to have to lie to your best friend which is something you’ve never done with Lydia. Sure, you avoided telling her your feelings, but you’ve never straight up lied to her before.

“Yes, I do,” the words slipped past your lips before you could stop them. Now what were you supposed to do.

Lydia let out a deep breath beside you. You couldn’t bear to look at her as you looked down at your fingers in your lap. The car was silent again. The only sound that could be heard was your breathing. It was eerily quiet.

The silence was broken by the Lydia’s car door opening. You followed suit by unbuckling your seat belt and getting out of the car. The silence between you continued as you went up to her front door.

She searched through her bag looking for her house key. You watched desperate to point out that they were still in her hand, but terrified of the reaction that you might get from her. You weren’t even sure if she wanted you to follow her this far.

“Where are my damn keys,” Lydia mumbled as her frantic searched continued as she continued to dig around in her back not saying another word. She shoulders were pulled to her ears practically as her movements became more and more stiff.

“Lydia,” you voice was a quiet as a mouse, but it caught her attention enough for her gaze to snap up to yours. “They’re in your hand still.”

She let out a deep breath and closed her eyes. Her shoulder visibly released the growing tension. She reached up to rub her head as she opened her eyes. She looked at you for a second as if she wanted to say something before shaking her head and looking away.

Lydia moved to unlock the door. You were unsure of what to do as you watched her struggle to move the key into the slot to unlock the door. You placed your hand over hers and steady it helping her guide the key into the slot.

“Lydia, do you want me to go?” you said. Your voice came out strangled and desperate. You were fighting back tears that you didn’t even realize you were holding back.

Lydia got the door open and she glanced back at you as she stepped across the threshold of her home. The tears were budding at the corner of your eyes as she looked back at you.

“Stay here, I’ll be right back,” She said with a confidence she hadn’t had since you were still at the party. She stood taller as she walked away leaving you standing outside the open door.

Part of you screamed inside run away. Run home and hope that this whole night was a dream, but there was another part of you. One that said stay and trust Lydia on this one. So that’s what you did.

You stood in the doorway looking into the house you had been so many times before. The house of your best friend. The house of the girl you loved. The girl you had just told you loved.

Now that Lydia was gone, the tears started to flow like a small drizzle down your cheeks. You were able to keep your breathing even as you wiped the salt water off your cheeks. You watched into her house waiting for her return. The longer she was gone the more you felt like you should turn around and leave.

Sure, enough she came back no more than ten minutes later. She said nothing as she reached you, but rather she took your hand in hers lacing her fingers with yours. Lydia pulled you into the house behind her. She closed the door once you two had gotten all the way into her house.

The majority of the lights were off, but you could see a small glow coming from her room. That was the direction she was leading you. You followed her silently. The tears hand stopped coming, but the remnants of them were still on your cheeks.

Reaching her bedroom door, she pushed it open revealing blankets and pillows set up on her floor almost like a nest and tons of candles were lite and placed all over to illuminate the room.

As you looked around the room, you could only think of how beautiful it was. You didn’t really know what all of this was.

“Lydia, what is this?” you said unsure. You turned to look at the strawberry blonde teen who was looking at you a way you’d never seen her look at you before.

“I need you to listen and not talk for a bit,” She said taking in a deep breath as if working up the courage to speak. “I’ve been in love with you my entire life. When we were little, I didn’t really understand what my feelings for you were. When we started high school, I was with Jackson for two years thinking that I was in love with him. It wasn’t until he and I broke that I realized that there was no way that I could be in love with him because I was in love with you. I didn’t know what to do about that, so I tried to get over you by getting with other guys, but nothing worked.

“Then one night you told me you loved me, but the next morning I was sure that you had forgotten, so I didn’t bring it up. I decided that I would just tell you how I felt instead. Then you would have to confess to me when you remembered. I’ve been trying to get you alone for the past two months, but every weekend you always opt for parties and raves and keggers. It couldn’t seem to get you to come to my house without you being completely wasted.

“But then tonight happened. When I saw Tommy kiss you, I was so pissed off. I was ready to scream, but that would not have gone over well. You pushed him away and then you started fighting with him. I just had to step in, and everything was such a rush, I didn’t even think about was happening I just did. In the car, I was hoping you would deny Tommy’s allegations, so I could know without having to confess to you and ruin our relationship, but you didn’t. I didn’t know what to say. I was so overwhelmed with my own emotions that I just shut down, but I can’t keep quiet anymore. I love you Y/N.”

You listened to her whole rant without saying a world. You couldn’t believe what you had just heard from her. There were no words in your head just one single thought. Kiss her.

You put your hand against her cheek and leaned forward. She met you halfway pressing her lips against yours.

There were no words for what you felt. Fireworks and butterflies had nothing on Lydia’s kiss. Her lips against yours was a magic that you had only read about but never thought actually existed. It left you completely breathless as you pulled away.

She grinned a large smile as her eyes fluttered open meeting yours. You let out a little giggle as you let a smile spread over your face. She leaned in again to press another kiss to your lips. This time when she pulled away to lead you to the nest like structure on her bed.

The two of you laid down together just pressing sweet kiss to each other’s lips and cheeks. You laid there together just enjoying each other for what felt like forever. Before you finally sat up and looked around.

“You did all this for me?” you asked. Lydia sat up behind you and wrapped her arms around you. She placed a small kiss to the back of your neck before placing her head on your shoulder.

“Anything for you,” Lydia said. A warm smile stretched over your face as you turned around in her arms. You placed another sweet kiss to her lips.

You had to admit there was something to thank Tommy for tonight. You now had Lydia. That was more than anything.

#lydia martin #lydia martin imagines #lydia martin imagine #lydia martin x reader #lydia martin x you #lydia martin fanfiction #lydia martin fanfic #lydia martin oneshot #lydia martin one shot #lydia martin angst #lydia martin fluff #teen wol #teen wolf imagine #teen wolf imagines #teen wolf fluff #teen wolf angst

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runaway-horses · 6 years ago

Text

Maybe It’s Selfish Of Me, But I Don’t Care About The World (Only About You)

Word Count: 2,003

A/N: I’m...so tired. Loved the concept but I’ve been fighting with this for days (I wanted to finish it and wasn’t taking writer’s block as an excuse) so I’m unsure how I feel about this. Comments! And reblogs! Feed my soul and water my crops!

Warnings: Nightmares, description of nightmares (all pretty vague and tame though), mentions of blood, sleep deprivation, hurt/comfort. Timing of fic is vague, loosely set after the events of S2 but Nick is still around and I don’t really mention the finale. As always please let me know if I need to add/remove anything

Tags: @imperfumedwithobsession (only because I want you to see this and I don’t want it getting lost in my blog. So sorry for tagging you without you asking)

Sabrina jerked up in bed, spooking Salem away from her. Her heart thumped in her chest as image after image flashed through her head.

Roz, dead.

Theo, dead.

Harvey, dead.

Nick-

She shook her head. Dwelling on the dream - because that’s all it was, Sabrina, just a dream - would do her no good. She sat up and swung her legs out of bed. There was always something to do, after all, and what harm could one night without sleep do?

And that’s what she said the next night,

And the next,

And the next.

///

Sabrina ran a hand through her tangled hair as she stumbled down the stairs, following the scent of pancakes to the kitchen, where Aunt Hilda was whisking batter and humming absently to herself.

“Blueberry?”

Aunt Hilda turned around with a smile that dropped quickly at her disheveled state.

“Sabrina? Darling, is this a new look you’re going for? Because I have to say, I don’t think the school will approve.”

“It’s the weekend, Auntie.” Sabrina frowned at her. Hilda cocks her head.

“No? Darling, today is Thursday.”

Sabrina paused and looked up at her aunt. Hilda stared back at her. Ambrose chose that moment to breeze in, stopping at the head of the table and completing their awkward triangle.

“I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?” A smile danced on the corner of his lips, and Sabrina took it as an excuse to whisk herself out of the room, stopping when she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror hanging in the hallway. Her hair was tangled and had the frazzled look of hair that had had fingers run through it repeatedly. Dark half-moons were stamped under her eyes as well.

“Oh Heaven,” She muttered, trying to parse out some of the knots. Eventually she decided it was a lost cause and shuffled up the stairs to take a bath. Hopefully she could wash off both her exhaustion and the fear that lingered at the edges of her consciousness.

Salem settled himself on top of her towel, neatly folded on the counter, and flicked a lazy tail towards her. His presence was nice. Salem rarely featured in her dreams, his visage remained firmly in her waking moments. If Salem was here, then she was awake. Not replaying hellish images over and over or reliving impossible decisions.

His presence was reassuring, yes. But if she had to pick the ideal post-nightmare comfort, it wouldn’t be Salem. If she was honest with herself, she wanted to see the people from her nightmares in the flesh. Whole, breathing, alive. But she couldn’t exactly call up her friends in the early hours of the morning to assure herself that they were alive. (They always were. And she knew this. But still, the uncertainty lingered. She wanted to touch them and see them and maybe cast a few hundred protection spells on them.)

Deep in thought, Sabrina found herself relaxing into the warm water, and she jerked herself away from the brink of sleep at the last minute.

She quickly finished bathing and stood up out of the water before she could relax again, coaxing Salem off her towel and wringing the water from her hair.

After going through the motions of her morning routine, she headed out the door to the Academy.

The fear lingered still, itching at the edges of her mind. She shouldered her bag and walked faster.

•••

The Academy was imposing in every sense of the word (up in flames, bodies draped over the stone stairs, a yellow sky behind it,) but the aura of power around it was also soothing.

The foyer looked oddly empty now, lacking the statue of the Dark Lord and the later statue of Faustus that had dominated the space. Sabrina was pulled out of her head by two hands gently covering her eyes.

“Hey Spellman.” Nick’s warm voice said in her ear. Sabrina smiled and turned around, grabbing his wrists and pulling them off of her eyes.

“Heya Scratch.” She smiled up at him, trying her best to ignore the wave of relief that washed over her. (His eyes were brown now, not empty and red. The smile he gave her was genuine, not cold and threatening.)

He placed his hands on the sides of her face and leaned down to press a kiss to her lips, pulling her closer. She sighed as he pulled away and resisted the urge to chase his lips. He tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

“You okay Sabrina? You look a little preoccupied.”

Her friends, dead, blood on her hands, a yellow sky with red clouds, hooves clomping closer, closer, closer…

“No.” She smiled up at him, hoping he wouldn’t notice that it was hollow. “I’m fine.”

///

Fine was not the proper adjective for Sabrina. Exhausted, more accurate. Tired, but not just from the lack of sleep. Tired of the constant fear, of pretending she was okay, of lying to her friends, to Nick. Wandering the streets of Greendale late at night might not have been her best idea, but she couldn’t stand to even look at her bed. The dread of another nightmare combined with the anxiety of missing another night of sleep had her turning out of her room and marching out of the house without a destination in mind.

So here she was, shivering slightly in the cold air and trying to steer her thoughts away from the dark corners of her mind. Her feet led her past Baxter High, and she stopped to stare up at the building. She had stood her, in this same spot, just weeks ago, a gallon of gasoline in her hand.

She had almost burned down her school. She had been seconds away, the gas was spread, the match was in her hand. She had almost done it. Sabrina walked forward, climbing up the first couple of stairs before sitting down. She gazed out at her town, quiet and asleep, seeming like its own pocket of reality with nothing but the streetlights and stars providing light.

She stayed there till the sun rose over the tops of the trees.

///

She snuck back into her bedroom just as her alarm was going off, and she flopped down onto the bed. Her feet hurt, and so did her head, and she wondered if walking around at night, mid-spring, without a jacket, was her best idea.

Aunt Hilda bustled into her room, a ball of energy, sing-songing “Wakey-wakey!” She pulled up short at the sight of Sabrina and dropped her voice.

“Sabrina? You okay darling?”

She rolled over. “I don’t feel so good, Aunt Hilda. I think I’m getting sick.”

It wasn’t really a lie, she probably was. And her pale skin, dark circles, and generally disheveled appearance certainly helped her look the part. Aunt Hilda, thankfully, just draped a blanket over her and told her to feel better soon before backing out of the room.

///

Sabrina’s day was long, each minute crawling by slowly and dripping with boredom. Twice, she drifted off to sleep only to jerk awake minutes later, heart pounding. She was sitting in bed, flipping slowly through the pages of a book, barely absorbing the words when there was a taping at her window. She jerked her head up and swung her legs out of bed. None other than Nicholas Scratch was at her window. She unlocked the latch and lifted the window, stepping back to let him in.

“Sabrina?” His voice was heavy with concern, and he climbed in through the window quickly. “Are you okay? You never came to school.”

Satan, she was glad to see him.

“No, I’m not okay, Nick.” Her eyes stung with tears at the admission. He stepped forward and gently cupped her face. ”I’m so tired. I haven’t slept in days, and every time I do I keep having these nightmares, and I’ve tried everything, rabbit’s feet under the pillow, lavender in the tea, but I can’t. Sleep.” Nick wiped away a tear and pressed a gentle kiss to her forehead.

“Nightmares?” He inquired, keeping his voice soft.

She nodded mutely.

“I keep seeing Him. Him and other things, the town destroyed, the Academy, I keep seeing you-” She cut herself off and shut her eyes. “I keep seeing you dead.” She whispered.

“Hey,” He soothed, stroking his thumbs up and down in an soothing manner. “I’m right here, ‘Brina. I’m alive, and I’m not going anywhere.” She gripped his wrists tightly and looked up at him. His eyes were swimming with concern and she leaned forward, wrapping her arms around him.

“I know,” She said, voice muffled against his chest. “But I keep seeing it, and I can’t stop thinking ‘what if?’”

Nick wrapped his arms around her, solid and warm and safe. He tucked her head under his chin, just holding her. A few tears slipped out of her eyes, and with them her last defenses crumbled down. A quiet sob wracked her body and Nick pulled her closer. The two of them stood together, Nick holding Sabrina as she cried into his chest and he rubbed soothing circles into her back.

“Shh, I’m here, I have you,” Nick continued to murmur in her ear as he rocked her gently. After a while, her sobs quieted, and Nick pulled away enough to look at her.

“Sabrina, I think you should try to sleep.” He felt the way she tensed up and he gently pushed her towards the bed. Once she was sitting on the edge, he pulled away to grab her a pair of pajamas. Standing in front of her as he handed her the clothes and helped her into them, Nick could really see the toll the exhaustion was taking on her. Her movements were sluggish and he had to help her with the buttons of her top. Nick shrugged off his jacket and hung it up, toeing off his shoes and crawling in bed with her. Sabrina was chewing on her lips, looking apprehensive. He stopped in front of her and stared intently.

“What’re you thinking, Spellman?”

She shrugged and locked eyes with him. After a beat of silence he leaned forward and pressed a soft kiss to her lips.

“I’ll stay with you tonight, and I promise that nothing will hurt you while I’m here.” He says into her lips. She gives him a quick kiss back and he slides under the covers with her. He pulls her gently into his arms, and she sighs and relaxes against him. They lay there in silence, Nick twirling strands of her hair around his fingers.

Her thoughts swirled as she tried to focus on the slight sensation of Nick playing with her hair, unable to relax fully.

What if she couldn’t fall asleep and went another night without sleep? What if she hurt him somehow in the throes of a nightmare, what if what if what if…

The prospect of another sleepless night had tears pricking at her eyes for the second time that night. She felt Nick’s fingers under her chin, coaxing her head up.

“I can hear you thinking, Spellman,” He said before kissing her, effectively silencing her mind for the first time in days. Sabrina relaxed into it, allowing the sensation of his warm lips and hands to wash over her. After what felt like infinity and not enough, he pulled away.

“Sleep, Sabrina. I’ll keep the nightmares away tonight.”

He sounded so sure, and she was very comfortable, Nick’s hand had now started to gently card through her hair, and she finally let go off the last shred of willpower keeping her awake. Trusting that Nick was here, and alive, and safe.

(And when she woke up, hours later, panting and drenched in sweat, Nick was there to dry her tears and sooth her racing heart, lulling her back to sleep again. Sabrina was able to fall asleep knowing that she was safe, and cared for. Loved.

She slept soundly after that.)

#athena rambles #love athena #caos fic #nick scratch/sabrina spellman #hurt/comfort #nightmares

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the-a-j-universe · 6 years ago

Note

On the ask where I mentioned Su community, I say that because I feel like I'm noticing if some of you have been a little political with these reblogs and to be honest I have this controversial idea that you, goopy-amethyst, who has been little political recently to the point where I believe she is going to automatically believe the false claims and immediately judge Vic without evidence while there is evidence proving false allegations and you don't want to hear it because it came from people...

Alright, let’s break this shit down.

Guess I know what this is about now, and who sent it. Let’s deal with that first.

I think, maybe, you should go and re-read it and be aware of what it says and what you’re implying with it before reading further. Assuming that you don’t, or you don’t get what I’m trying to imply, I’ll explain. Your statement in that other ask implies that I, and others in the SU community, don’t just believe allegations, but also support people making allegations that are knowingly false. I think you can understand why that’s insulting. If you can’t, then go ahead and stop reading right here and unfollow me, because you’re either too dumb or too fanatical to understand anything else that I’m going to say to you.

I’m not sure which “People [we] don’t like” you’re talking about. I honestly haven’t been following this whole thing closely enough to really know why it was who made the claims against Vic or who is defending him. I didn’t plan on talking about this at all unless I was asked to, so I decided at the start to wait until the matter was settled before reading up in detail.

This is another example of you making an assumption about me without context and without even considering asking me about it first. And I’m not talking about the super vague asks that you have been sending dancing around the issue. I think my reply to the ask linked above proves that I had no idea what this about until now.

I’m also a little confused why you would bring up another user in my asks. I’m aware of goopy-amethyst, etc., obviously, but I am in no way affiliated with them. If you have an issue that you want to bring up about them, do it in their asks.

As for there being no evidence against Vic, that’s a lie. Either that or you don’t know what evidence is. Each account from one of the alleged victims is evidence, and that there is evidence to the contrary (which again, I can’t even speak on since I have barely been following this issue) doesn’t invalidate that. The fact that you think it does proves your bias.

“Don’t even try to block yet. address this even if you don’t show that asked otherwise if you you are proving once again that your bias and it’s proving my suspicions and I don’t care if others don’t come out on this because I don’t want to be involved I don’t give a shit“

Yeah, howsabout you don’t tell me what to do immediately after and before insulting me. This entire ask chain was so disrespectful that I didn’t even need to reply, and you’re lucky that I did. So in the future try not to push that luck.

I have no idea what you mean by the rest of that. What bias would I be proving once again? Are you, perhaps, lumping me in with some of my light acquaintances and projecting their thinking, as well as your biased thinking, onto me as a result? ‘Cause it seems like that’s what you’re doing.

It also seems like you do want to be involved in this and that you do give a shit. I can’t even believe that you would claim otherwise when just the four asks addressed here prove otherwise.

Finally, just what “others” are you mentioning in the above quote who may or may not “come out on this” based upon these asks? I’m the only person on this blog. If I hadn’t posted this no one else would have seen it.

Regarding my stance on this whole situation, I’m glad that he has been taken off of conventions. I’m a little less thrilled that he’s been taken off of voice acting projects so soon after the allegations were put forth, but I can understand it. He had been accused of assaulting underage girls. Removing him from situations where he would be able to interact with underage girls, at least until we can be more sure of exactly what happened, is a good precaution to take, and preventing him from acting in works that his alleged victims might be exposed to isn’t a bad idea, either.

It’s also worth keeping in mind that, while I would still like to know more details about the investigation, Funimation did investigate the claims made against Vic and decide that they hold water.

It’s also worth keeping in mind here that taking action against the man in this way is not the same thing as prosecuting him for unproven allegations as some people are saying. Roosterteeth and Funimation, to use those two examples, are companies which have every right to take this kind of action against a suspect employee. People might have the right to work and support themselves, but no person has the right to a specific job or jobs.

As far as I know, and again my knowledge of the subject is limited, he hasn’t been accused of anything as outright or as severe as rape. I also don’t think that he has been charged with anything yet. I’m going to be a little more fair to someone in a situation like that than I would be someone who, for example, was charged with raping someone and the prosecution had enough evidence to take the charge to court.

In short, I do think that, if it turns out that Vic was falsely accused, he should be apologized to by the above companies and offered his jobs back. False allegations are evil. They don’t just harm the accused. They also weaken the position of every genuine victim who might come forward in a similar situation in the future.

…

No video today, guys. This got me really fuckin worked up and I just don’t have the energy to finish it. Tomorrow, maybe. No more asks today, either, probably.

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