#am i being dramatic? yes XD

[per-the-jellicle-magician]

I would like to extend my sincerest apology to Mr Wyszogrodzki and Mr Nowicki, Ram Tam Tamek may not be the best Tugger name but it works and now thanks to @greenelectricsky I know there are worse ones out there

Like Tararabumbek from the mind of one and only Adam Pomorski

[ickyarson777]

Ooooh requests! I have one! I am dying for gamer boyfriend iii. Maybe playing games with him? Or just snuggling up with him, playing with his hair, while he slaughters digital zombies? XD Whatever you think!

GODS YES PLEASE

ahem anyway, of course love i can definitely do that for you! and thanks for the request! i hope it lives up to your expectations!!

content warnings: none!! just fluff and games today. tried to stay as gn with the reader as i could. only things used for them is 'love,' and 'lovely.'

notes before we start, this is about *not* about the actual people in the band, just the characters they’ve created on stage.

that being said, here you go! it's a bit short, wish it was longer but this was fun to write :)

Word count: 843

I curled up in bed, scrolling mindlessly through my phone, glancing every now and then at III, back facing me as he played his game. Since he’d downloaded Skyrim, he’d been playing it every chance he got. He talked a lot while playing, so I now had my own fair share of knowledge about the game.

“These damned draugr,” he’d mutter every now and then. “Fuck, dragon’s gonna eat my ass!” he’d groan as his character got snatched up. 

He was never one to scream angrily while playing, something I appreciated. He would, however, get very worked up, shaking me around and celebrating when he finally would pass a section of the game that was giving him trouble.

He’d lean over, ask if I saw how many times he’d died trying to pass that specific section, I’d tell him, laughing, ‘yes, I did see you die over and over, you sure you didn’t do it on purpose?’ He’d gasp in mock offense, ‘Seriously love? You think I’d willingly get fucked over by that shit over and over like that?’ then he’d lean in for a kiss, something to make up for the lack of focus on me, and get right back in. 

Tonight however, we played together. He’d recently bought a Nintendo Switch, and we’d spent the past couple nights staying up playing Mario Kart. We sat next to each other, leaning forward on our knees, deeply focused on the race. I’d hit him with a shell, he’d throw a banana peel. Each time I overtook him, or vice versa, the other would cry out in both frustration, laughter, or an attempt to rile the other up. Eventually after we’d played for a few hours, we’d lose count of the score and take a break to go get some snacks from the kitchen. After making our way back to the room, arms full of snacks and drinks, we’d lay back in the bed and he’d talk my ears off about anything and everything he could think of. 

“There’s a new Zelda game that came out, a sequel to Breath of the Wild! Supposed to have two whole new maps and shit,” he’d tell me, running his fingers through his long hair. “Can’t wait to play it.” 

I smile at him and yawn softly. 

“Getting tired, love? Or tired of losing Mario Kart,” he said with a stupid smirk. 

I scoff at his question, “You’d like to think I was losing wouldn’t you?”

He chuckles at me, “Of course I think that, ‘cause it's the truth.”

“Whatever,” I say , rolling my eyes. I lean back in the bed and slip under the covers. “Think I’m done for the night.”

He sighs dramatically, “Guess we’ll have to settle our score tomorrow then.”

“Mhmm,” I hum in agreement. I watch him as he picks the controller up again, and closes the game. He turns the tv down a bit, and opens Skyrim again. I watch through eyes fluttering, trying to stay awake a bit longer as he begins his in-game trek across the map, trying to reach new locations, every now and then stopping to fight some monster, creature or enemy in his path. Carefully, I nudge him with my foot and he glances back at me. 

“What’s up, love?” he asks.

I hold my arms out to him, wanting to cuddle up to him. He smiles at my gesture and crawls across the bed, leaning back against me, head on my chest, still facing the screen. I kiss the top of his head, and run my fingers through his hair, and listen to him talk. He’s always so loud, but now he mutters queitly to himself, perhaps trying to mind my tiredness, perhaps feeling his own tiredness start to take over. 

“Love you,” I murmur sleepily into his mess of red hair. 

“Love you too, lovely,” he mutters and then exclaims loudly, “Motherfucking dragons!”

“III,” I groan, having been snapped out of my almost sleep. 

He chuckles, “Sorry love.”

I smile, taking strands of his hair and braiding them carefully. “It’s ok,” I tell him. “What are you doing in the game?”

And then it begins again, his nonstop talk about the game. Eventually his accent gets thicker with sleep creeping into his voice, and I have no idea what he’s saying anymore. I drift off into my own slumber.

At some point, he’s gotten off the game and shifted to lie next to me, because the next morning, I wake up to him, arms lazily wrapped around me, mouth hanging wide open, soft snores excaping his mouth. I smile at his goofy expression, his messy hair tangles and spread over his pillow, over his face. The quiet moments with III are rare. Odd but not uncomfortable. 

I curl up next to him, and drift off to sleep again, knowing the moment we both wake up, its back to the games again.

‘Gonna need my rest if I’m gonna beat his ass at Mario Kart,’ is the last thing I think before drifting off again. 

---

how do you end stuff like this :')

anyway pls y'all give me more

[anthurak]

One thing that always feels so funny for me when it comes to the Rosebird Parents Theory isn’t when people simply disagree with the theory, but rather people apparently seeing the prospect of a ‘Raven is Ruby’s real father��� reveal to be this totally unthinkable thing and how could anyone ever think this could happen?!

Because once you get past the whole ‘two ladies making a baby’ hurtle, Raven being Ruby’s dad really fits into so many well-known fantasy/sci-fi tropes. Many of which RWBY notably has not done yet, or have already been tied to Raven herself.

I mean, the mysterious villainous and/or anti-heroic loner with ties to the family pulling an ‘I am your Father’ reveal on the protagonist? That’s a fucking CLASSIC. Hell, let’s consider a few things about Raven:

Big, intimidating helmet.

Clear Samurai inspiration.

Wields a katana-like sword that technically has an energy blade (dust=energy) which is generally RED-colored.

Possesses mysterious and terrible over-worldly powers.

Has a mysterious past tied to our protagonist’(s) family.

Was probably in love with our protagonist’s (apparently) dead mother.

Yeah I’d say Raven makes for a pretty good Darth Vader-expy.*

Beyond that specific case, we’ve already seen the story connect Raven to a BUNCH of ‘mysterious and angsty deadbeat dad who left their kid for unclear reasons’ tropes when it comes to Yang. Why not have those apply to Ruby as well? People have been clamoring for years about wanting to see Summer’s narrative dynamic with Yang explored as much as the one she has with Ruby, so why not have the reverse be true with Raven and Ruby as well?

After all, it seems that the story has now given Ruby a reason to seek Raven for answers just as Yang once did.

And as I’ve noted in previous Rosebird Parents posts, No I don’t believe Raven also being Ruby’s deadbeat dad would be somehow ‘redundant’. Particularly because the context is completely different: Yang has known that Raven is her birth-mother for most of her life, whereas Ruby would only just now be finding out that Raven is her birth-father. Far from being redundant, this would allow the story to explore two very different responses of kids to an absent parent: One who has had to live with the knowledge of that absent parent for years, and one who hasn’t and has to deal with this NEW information suddenly getting dropped on her.

Plus, as I alluded to earlier, it’s rather notable that RWBY hasn’t done some big ‘dramatic parent reveal’, given how much of a staple it is to the genre. And given how reimagining, twisting and flipping classic and well-worn fairytale/folklore/fantasy tropes (often via playing with gender-roles) is basically RWBY’s bread and butter at this point, I’d say giving the series heroine an ‘I am your father’ reveal from a woman would fit PERFECTLY in this series.

And if you’re going to ask ‘but how do two ladies make baby?!?’,

Raven can be intersex. Boom. Done.

Alternatively, magic.

As an aside, yes Summer being trans is a perfectly viable alternative. I just think logistically speaking, Raven being intersex and being Ruby’s ‘father’ makes a dramatic reveal a bit more streamlined. Also, the idea of Raven managing to be BOTH a deadbeat mom AND a deadbeat dad is just too funny XD

*Of course, this comparison gets even more fun when we consider Summer having her own Vader-parallels, ie; Summer almost certainly being taken by Salem and given what we can probably assume to be a Vader-esque makeover via grimm-hybridization in setup for a big reveal. So when we combine this with Raven, I think we can view what happened on their last mission as ‘What if Padme/Obi-wan got turned into Vader INSTEAD of Anakin?’ Like Raven in the present is basically Anakin doing Obi-wan’s traumatized hermit shtick, except all angry and edgy because it’s still Anakin.

[kizzer55555]

DP X DC School Project

So...I am part of a dp x dc Discord server under the nickname Jazz. Someone decided to post a Pinterest picture in the fanfic ideas channel. This is the conversation it created. I love this Discord server so much.

Eros:

Danny and Damain working together on school project together.

Or even Dani and Damian up to you.

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Danny and Damian just sounds so much more funny to me.

Eros:

Alrights 👌

BreKitten:

Oh my gosh, that's hilarious

Eros:

And they totally would act like this

Apricot:

crying lmao

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Damien: Why wouldn't we shop at [the expensive place]? I am an heir-

Danny: taps the paper 2k a month. You gave up your money to make me feel more comfortable.

Damien: Why would I care about your comfort?

Danny: dramatic gasp How could say that about your husband?!

Apricot:

Damian: husband?! what "husband"?!

Eros:

then proceeded to fight on types of toast and pricy vegetarian meals

Danny: look our family needs a balance diet, we can't live off vegetables alone! The very least we should mix it with some actual food like Ectoplasm.

(if Ectoplasm can be considered all kind of elements/a semi living organism since it revives things then any food brought to life should be counted as a beast of some kind)

Eros:

Also counts since Danny lived off ectoplasm for a fair bit of his life so he would see it as a food source

Eros:

Danny: me. I'm your husband, we agreed to marry to make it easier for the kids.

Apricot:

Damian: KIDS?!

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Danny: Danny Jr and Damian Jr!

Eros:

Danny: yes kids, don't tell me you forgot we had kids! I swear you'll say you forgot we have pets too!

Danny: shows the paper that says they have a pet and two kids

Jazz:

No wait, the ectoplasm comes last. Just the Wayne’s seeing Damian and this random kid fight about every single thing. Finally Damian comes home and says that they finally agreed on something.

The Wayne’s: finally. Looks like this is a good learning experience:

Damian: we have agreed to live off of Lazarus water.

Wayne’s: ABORT! ABORT! ABORT!

And the best thing is that they might not know about Danny being a halfa. So they think Damian is now corrupting random citizens.

Jazz:

Cause like, they both grew up with Lazarus water/ectoplasm and know the nutritional value.

Eros:

Indeed~

Jazz:

Great for child development too!

They both turned out great!

Eros:

Hehehe

Alright now both Danny and Damian are fully into this project now they have at least a agreed idea on food

Because the project they have is this; budget for every day living

So they have food set out

There is now trying to keep the house running and kids/pets alive and entertained

Danny agrees that with his skills he can do the majority of repairs, Damian agrees to take responsibility of the pets

They are now having an argument on how children should be raised.

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Damian is all for strict discipline, high standards of education, after school activities (he may not want his kids to be assassins but he still wants the best).

Danny's all for independence, finding your own way, encouragement and lots of love and support.

Damian: Do you want our children to grow up to be garbagemen?!

Danny: Do you know how much a garbageman makes?!

Eros:

Danny grew up around a lot of physical affection and love from his folks, except around the time of the accident/the holidays he always knew his parents loved each other very very much.

Damian comes from such an emotionally constipated house hold that he only gets the majority of physical affection from Dick

Jazz:

Lol

This is so perfect.

Danny then says something that puts Damian’s entire world view into question.

Danny: is this how you would treat our pets?!

Eros:

Damian: gasp how dare you, how very dare you!

Adonnenniel "Addy":

XD Danny, recounting the story later to Sam and Tucker: I swear, if he had pearls, he would've clutched them.

Eros:

Hehehe

Jazz:

Me imagining Damian going to Dick to complain.

Damian: can you imagine?! Raising kids and hugging them! Or saying it’s ok to fail!

Dick’s face.

Eros:

Damian complaining to his family: we might have agreed on living off Lazarus water, but now he wishes for our children to just go wild, then compared our pets to them!

Jazz:

Damian: obviously our pets would act nothing like those…savages.

Eros:

It just keeps getting better~

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Waynes are listening to this kind of like a soap opera

Eros:

Sam: wow Danny, at the very least your doing better then when you were partnered up with Val, like the majority of the time you were trying to pawn off raising the kid on each other until the flower was in danger, but I can't say much myself since Tucker pulled a Kronos.

Which opened a new can of worms; how much time were they going to take care and be there for their "kids" what kind of training would they go through

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Hehehe

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Danny: I learned from my mistakes. I wasn't ready to be a parent then.

Eros:

Their whole class and teachers are watching it like a soap opera

Eros:

The very least they get to see it live and not re counted

Jazz:

(Someone get popcorn, or they just get out their packed lunches early).

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Yes! The Waynes and Sam and Tucker get the play-by-play but the class gets to see the actual show!

Jazz:

No wait, someone records it and post it and then it goes viral. (Do they think that the Wayne’s make a lot more sense now hearing of how Damian thinks children should be raised?)

(Are there now more questions?!)

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Oooh. I can see people being even worse to Damian. Maybe pitying him because he grew up with so little love.

Eros:

Then the next day Danny brings up the issue of child raising again since Sam makes a good point.

Danny: okay so I've re think a few things, mainly on occasion the kids should get self defense classes or something like that since it would make most sense to keep them safe. But beyond work and school activities how should we spend our time with them?

Jazz:

People see the two about to continue their conversation and immediately stop what they are doing to bring their phones out.

What if this becomes one of the most popular ‘dramas’? Like, so much in fact even villains will stop what they are doing to watch?

Eros:

(because Danny comes from a physical affectionate house doesn't mean there was neglect from his folks working way too much)

Jazz pretty much raised him when it came to actual child care so Danny is determined to be there for his "kids"

Not just for the fun stuff or being pulled to random projects

Jazz:

They get super invested in this project.

Also, what if people intentionally goad them on? Like seeing them together and asking if a kid should be left alone at home or with a babysitter or what they’ll do during a blackout/tornado?

Eros:

Surprisingly it's Danny who brings a big book of plans in case if emergencies

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Yes!

Adonnenniel "Addy": - reply to students and citizens goading Danny and Damian on.

The teacher reworks their lesson plans to do an extended deep dive into home economics so that this can keep happening.

Jazz:

Absolutely.

Jazz:

Some of the emergency responses are normal like, if there is a tornado, evacuate kids to a shelter, others are strange like arguing whether you should fight the burglar or prioritize the kids. Others are just plain weird. A blackout? Both Damian and Danny will turn to face the questioner. Obviously they’ll be able to see in the dark. (Effect of ectoplasm/Lazarus exposure).

Eros:

Danny is even willing to share on the "in case of apocalypses" situations

Jazz:

Neither question why they know a massive amount of information about various world ending disasters/villains.

Eros:

Oh and how they should pack bags for school and for emergencies

Jazz:

Omg, they make a kid survival kit. Including blasters and knives.

Eros:

Danny insists they should put some of the survival kit stuff in the school bag

Jazz:

Everything a five year old should take to school.

Eros:

Ooo discussion on how old their kids should be to learn about weapons and how to safely handle them

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Danny: Eight should be good.

Damian: Eight is way too late to start!

Jazz:

The fact that both agree this is a necessary subject to teach their kids. Everyone’s reaction to hearing various ways you can kill/dismember a person and why this won’t work. Not because it’s immoral but clearly because young kids don’t have the necessary arm length to complete certain maneuvers.

Eros:

Damian: that's why we should put the kids into martial arts and gymnastics as soon as possible so  they can be flexible enough!

Jazz:

Danny: that’s why we should wait until their older and focus on their aim while young! Their muscle memory will be all wrong by the time they reach the appropriate age!

Damian: they will not always have a weapon to aim. The body is the only reliable weapon that will never fail.

Eros:

Now to add extra into the mix; Bruce and Jazz (who is now Danny's legal guardian) show up to school to pick them up as they are in a middle of an argument

Danny: and who will be the one teaching them? Because proper teachers will be expensive, at least we can teach them at home how to aim properly! It can be a bonding experience!

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Jazz: What are you talking about?

Danny: Teaching our young children proper aim.

Jazz: You will not!

Danny: I mean, you're obviously not going to teach them.

Jazz:

Damian: I can teach them perfectly fine.

Danny: what about work? You can’t be with them all the time. 

Damian: I can take them with me. We can travel around Gotham and learn to fight through experience. 

Danny: you are not taking our children to fight on the streets

Damian: what, didn’t you want us bonding?! Make up your mind!

Dick looking at Bruce. “This is your fault.”

Eros:

Danny: You're not letting our children out on the streets, they will put too many people in the hospital! You have any idea how expensive that would be!

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Damian casually dropping he's Robin?

Jazz:

Danny not even processing it.

Then casually stating he’s dead. Damian skipping that detail.

Adonnenniel "Addy":

XD They're too caught up in the roles.

Jazz:

Exactly.

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Maybe afterwards, if they think back on it.

Jazz:

Like vigilantism and the dead coming back to life is normal for them. They are focusing on the children right now thank you.

Adonnenniel "Addy":

And then they both come up with the excuse "I was just adding to lore, it was all pretend!"

Eros:

Not before this;

Damian: fine if you want to control our lives and children then we should just divorce!!

Jazz:

Danny: oh I’m controlling?!

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Do they get Alfred to be the judge to oversee their divorce?

Jazz:

Danny: fine, our kids and pets will be happier with me anyways.

Damian: don’t you dare bring the pets into this.

Damian going to Bruce to use the Wayne lawyers for this imaginary family divorce.

He will win this.

Danny actually going to Vlad.

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Vlad has been watching the whole time. He doesn't need to be brought up to speed.

Jazz:

Both of them are like, this is ridiculous. But on the other hand, my child actually asked for help from me for once.

Eros:

Hehehe

Danny uses Dani as an example of a child that is better off with him

Jazz:

Lol

Adonnenniel "Addy":

And Jazz even brings it up to Bruce that if Damian didn't get to play like this as a young kid, he might be making up for lost time, in his own intense way.

Eros:

Because that's what Danny is doing too

Jazz:

The absolute struggle both Bruce and Vlad go through on whether or not to actually do this and use up their lawyers, money, and resources.

The viral videos increase. 

Eros:

Danny getting frustrated enough that he is tempted to get Clockwork to be the judge

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Bruce gets his other kids involved? They play as Damian's lawyers?

Eros:

Yesz

Jazz:

Dick is having a blast.

Then Sam comes in for Danny’s defense.

Both Tucker, Tim, and Barbra (possibly Technis) get into a hacking war.

Eros:

Yesss!

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Yesss!

Jazz:

Cujo and Titus become best friends.

Eros:

Dani is still the example child

Jazz:

Tim is Damian’s example child.

Eros:

Peepaw Clockwork comes in a human form to judges

Jazz:

Alfred and Clockwork have tea.

And discuss their kids.

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Tim: I'm older than you! How am I your example child?!

Dick: whispers Hey, he's including you without stabbing you. Take the win.

Eros:

Clockwork: I do hope they figure this all out before their legit kids are born~

Jazz:

Yesssss.

Eros:

Danny: finally stops, going into a blushing and betrayed look at Clockwork

Damian: who doesn't know Clockwork sees the future what on earth are you talking about, we barely are keeping together for the kids we do have!

Gestures to Tim and Dani

Jazz:

Tim: I’m. Older. Than you!

Damian. Then start acting like it.

Danny: (trying to recover) tsk tsk, how can you treat your son this way?

Damian: he’s adopted.

Eros:

Danny: and she's a clone, doesn't mean they can't be loved and cared for as their own persons!

Danny: to prove a point he hugs both Dani and Tim, trying to smoother them with love and acceptance

Jazz:

Tim just looks so done with life at the moment.

Eros:

Danny: plus our pets are adopted, yet you wouldn't love them any less

Jazz:

Critical hit.

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Danny ends up adopting Tim by the end of this.

Jazz:

Lol

He wins Tim in the divorce.

Eros:

Lol

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Yesss!

Eros:

Tim gets a new dad

Jazz:

Bruce doesn’t know how to feel about this.

Eros:

This one says "I love you" and is into Tim's science projects

Jazz:

Dani’s like new sibling. Tackle Hugs.

And Danny doesn’t restrict coffee intake. He’s just as bad.

Eros:

If anything he shows Tim a whole world of coffee mixes

Jazz:

Jazz though. Jazz is a bit of a problem with Coffee.

Tim and his new dad form an alliance.

Eros:

Danny takes Tim to Frostbite to get a new spleen

Jazz:

Danny: see? I provide free healthcare.

Eros:

Then proceeds to show off Tim: This is my boi, I won him!

All while Dani is giggling and clinging to their sides

Jazz:

Vlad is looking at Bruce very smugly.

Eros:

Danny would show Tim and Dani off at school after this

Like: behold, my children!

Jazz:

It becomes public that Wayne enterprise’s CEO is Tim Fenton.

Eros:

(and since I'm going with King Danny in this)

That means due to Danny winning and Tim becoming his kid, Tim Fenton is now the prince of the infinite realms along with his new sister Dani

Cass and Steph come back from a big trip once everything is over

Jazz:

They ask what happened. 

Jason gleefully explains that Bruce went to legal war with another billionaire over an imaginary family and ended up loosing Tim to them.

Also, that Damian might have a crush.

Eros:

Jazz:

Lol

Eros:

Because he just went through one of the best non injury fights of his life with this guy

Jazz:

And lost

Eros:

Yet they do agree on a fair bit of things, and now know where their main issues are and can work on them.

Jazz:

The entire world witness this entire thing and there are going to be shippers.

Eros:

Pft imagine the Justice League hearing about this~

Jazz:

Also just think, when they eventually do get together. That high school teacher is absolutely going to brag that it was their project that started this.

Jon might have a crisis on being replaced as Damian’s best friend. Someone explains the difference between boyfriend and normal friend and Jon’s like, ok that’s fine then.

Eros:

Oh man, when Jon finds out everything that had happened

Jon would tell Conner

Jazz:

Conner hears about the clone comment.

Now Conner wants to be adopted.

Bruce “Kal-el” Wayne:

Absolutely

Danny be pulling a Bruce

Or would Bruce be pulling a Danny?

Jazz:

Omg, I just realized. Bruce Wayne lost a Custody battle.

Bruce “Kal-el” Wayne:

Major L

Eros:

To a child

Bruce “Kal-el” Wayne:

Ain't Danny technically a god?

Eros:

Still child

Who would definitely adopt Conner

BuriedReign:

Omg this is like a whole ass fic already, it’s soooo goood! I absolutely bursted out laughing at the “we plan to live off Lazarus water”

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Just got caught up and all I have to say is: 😂😂😂

Btw, I love the idea that Tim isn't legally adopted to Danny (by ghost standards, yes, not by mortal law) but he just goes with Danny cuz he's so done with his family.

Eros:

>:3

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Dani, Tim, Conner. Do we throw in reformed, de-aged Dan for shits and giggles?

Eros:

Pfft yess

And Damian only finds out about Dan after the divorce

This re sparks everything into a new battle~

Eros:

Damian is offended that Danny never told him about their other son Dan

Adonnenniel "Addy":

He wants visitation rights!

Eros:

Damian wants to win Dan, like how Danny won Tim

Adonnenniel "Addy":

That makes more sense

Eros:

Damian goes up to Dan and offers access to all sort of weapons, training/fights, being a heir to a different Kingdom, and possibly be ungrounded if he takes Damian's side in the new Custody battle

The Angst Queen:

When you catch up and burst out laughing

Also - I wanna add something

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Add, please!

The Angst Queen:

Damian would definitely pull a sword at some point - decide to attack and “miss” every time. He does not expect Danny to suddenly have an ice sword in hand. Do then they’re both going at it in a sword fight while still arguing about diaper brands

Damian - so then I attack him 

Dick - WHAT!?!? 

Damian - I know! He didn’t even have the decency to die! He pulled out his own sword! 

Dick in shock whispers - what

Damian - and he still refuses to consider Huggies! Insists on natural diapers!

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Lol

Eros:

Like when the arguments get too much they start sword fighting like the Adam's family

It's how they discuss things and keep up reaction times for both brain and body

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Do they fight in school or at the manor?

Eros:

School, just to add more to the soap opera drama

And for the bats to keep missing the live actions of it

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Yes!

Eros:

Except Babs but that's obvious to know why

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Their sword fights go all around the school, interrupting other classes. The security guards or other teachers try to stop them but Danny'll just pull them into the argument. 

Teacher: walking up to them, trying to grab the swords Now, boys, this must stop!

Danny: leaps up onto a desk, put his arm around the teacher's neck as he's still fighting Damian Hey, you look like a reasonable man. Tell me, why would you ever want to buy a waste product all for brand recognition and not cut down waste and get reusable diapers?

Teacher: That's a very leading question and calls on a few logical fallacies-

Danny: shoves the teacher away as Damian leaps for an attack

Eros:

And this is where Damian's crush really began

It's one thing to argue and have different trains of thought

It's another to have someone actually just as skilled as you in the battle of the sword and the mind

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Yeeees!

Eros:

Danny: Hopefully the castle is big enough for everyone

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Tim: You have a castle!? O_O

Conner: You have a castle!? : D

Danny: Yep!  Oh, and you two are now royalty!  Don't worry, you won't have to do anything unless you want to.

Eros:

I wonder if Tim rubs it in his other semi siblings faces

Like Steph, Jason, and Damian's faces in particular

Bruce “Kal-el” Wayne:

Does Tim take a pic of everything in the realms?

Eros:

Yes

Bruce Kal-el” Wayne:

Or try to

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Tim especially rubs being royalty in Damian's face.  He knows he should be better but damnit, Damian was/is all high and mighty about being the heir to the League of Assassins and Bruce's biological child - he stabbed Tim over it!  Tim gets to gloat a bit that he technically outranks Damian now!

BuriedReign:

Does this increase Damian’s crush on Danny? Damian tries to ask out Danny and makes it ‘rational’ by saying of course he needs to be higher ranked than Tim. While also trying to hide that isn’t the only reason why he wants to date Danny

Eros:

(make Damian unintentionally ghost speak which reveals his true emotions and reasons as to why he wants to date Danny)

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Damian: I want to date him for no other reason than to one-up my once brother.  That's it.  Nothing else involved here.  Just pure revenge.  I will not let Tim outrank me in this life or the next.

Jason: Uh-huh. flipping to the next page of Pride and Prejudice  Have fun on your denial date.

Omg, imagine Damian formally asking Danny out on a date!

And Danny's like, despite the divorce, I want to give us another shot.

Eros:

And the plot THICKENS

That's everyone's reactions 😁

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Yes!

Eros:

Where would they even go on a date?

Ooo what if they went to the museum

Or an art gallery

Bruce “Kal-el” Wayne:

Or a date to the literal moon

Eros:

I don't think Damian would survive that well

Bruce “Kal-el” Wayne:

Ecto shield giving an artificial atmosphere

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Damian would take Danny to a museum or art gallery.

Danny will chose the next date and take him to the moon.

Eros:

Then definitely the museum should be like the Glenbow Museum

This is just inside the front entrance

It's called the aurora borealis

Because they make the crystals actually glow different colors

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Ooooooh!

Yes!

Eros:

This is a full on walk through section where you learn about the stars and First Nations

Adonnenniel "Addy":

Holy shit, now I want to go to the Glenbow Museum.

Eros:

Art pieces, and they also have a section for mid evil times and even mini battle fields

The Angst Queen:

Side note - I bet Danny makes Damian work to get that date

Eros:

Definitely

[melkyt]

Been crying alot about the idea of the immortality surgery in the context of LawLu.

The vibes are immaculate for the angst xd

Say the side effect of the immortality surgery is that while Luffy exists forever, Law's soul is tied to his existence.

Say maybe Luffy's death was not some dramatic thing that happened in battle, no, he just used up the last of his life force by using the gears too often, and it presented itself as a disease sometime in his late twenties.

Law has gotten used to having him around, having a semblance of a family together, picking up orphan kids here and there. Luffy still goes on adventures and travels the world, but he always comes back.

Then he stops going out as he gets sick, on some days he can't even get out of bed.

Law hates watching the man he loves, the man who burns so brightly wither away. So despite his promise, Law can't do it. He does the surgery.

Luffy finds him in the garden, seemingly asleep, peaceful, and gone. His heart shatters and it takes weeks for him to recover, but eventually, he manages to keep going, as he has things to keep going for. Their children, his crew.

He does not know that he is immortal, and does not know what Law did until everyone starts dying around him.

Luffy slowly breaks as he loses everything, everyone he loves. It's when the last of his mortal friends dies, Zoro, who was determined to not go before Luffy, not to leave him alone.

That is when Luffy decides that he has had enough life. That he wants to be with everyone again. Brook once told him that immortality can be a curse. It's worse. Brook is still alive and they sometimes talk, the only thing that keeps Luffy's sanity together as the years pass and stop having any meaning.

He travels the world, looking for a way to break the curse, learning more than he has in years of adventure, still keeping his smile and finding joy but it gets harder, the more things seem to repeat. The world begins to feel small, and sometimes he still imagines Law or his crew being around. The hallucinations do not make life easier.

So when he sees a man who looks and sounds exactly like Law on the island where Law was once born. He brushes it off as another hallucination. "Can't get enough of me, huh Traffy? It's the third time this week" He sighs, running a finger over the rim of his glass.

The man just stares in something akin to shock. He blinks as if not quite believing his eyes.

Luffy tilts his head. The hallucinations usually have some witty rebuke. They don't just stare.

"Luffy?" The man's voice is shaky, he stumbles back, breath coming in quick huffs. "How did I..." Law grabs his head as a splitting headache brings memories with it.

It's Luffy's turn to stare in disbelief. It's been hundreds of years, he may come by the place once in awhile, this is the island where Law was born, its familiar, the little things that never change but he never expected to see the man again. "Don't joke like that" Voice low, a threat on his lips. "Traffy's dead"

"I, yes." The man's knuckles are white around his whiskey glass. "I was... I do... How am I here Luffy?

"If you're fake, I'm gonna kill you" Luffy gingerly approaches, poking the man on the arm. "My hallucinations usually don't feel like nothing"

"Hallucinations? Are there side effects to the surgery?" Law gets over some of his confusion, placing his hands on either side of Luffy's face, feeling his pulse. It beats like a drum, as it has since he awakened Nika. "Weird but normal for you"

Luffy chuckles "Only Traffy would go all doctor mode right now" he wraps both arms around Law, "I'm not letting you go this time." Now that's a promise he will not let either of them break, no matter what.

Luffy uses his willpower and gear 5 to keep Law alive out of determination and to spite whatever force tries to take him.

[thehobbem]

Jane Eyre - Part II

DKZJFBDGHSJAKSJD THIS IS THE WORST MARRIAGE PROPOSAL IN LITERARY HISTORY

*clears throat*

A few days ago I wrote this post about my first thoughts on Jane Eyre. Since people wanted to see my reactions to further events, here I am.

I gotta say: you were all holding out on me, because not only does Jane Eyre have a man more ridiculous than Darcy (by a CLEAR mile), but it also has a clergyman more insufferable than Edmund Bertram, which??? should not be possible???

Okay, so:

I was hoping Rochester would give up on the wedding and confess to Jane about his wife in the attic, but nope! And he would've gotten away with it, too, if it weren't for those meddling solicitor & brother-in-law. Like. This man is so idiotic, and felt so unbelievably sorry for himself, that he said with his full chest "yeah, bigamy is the solution! :D".

...Very uncomfortable how the narrative attributed the lowest possible vices to Bertha Rochester, while calling her "the creole". The vices weren't outright attributed to her being of mixed ancestry, but it felt like that was what was meant. All very uncomfortable. As uncomfortable as when the landed gentry wanted to visit a Romani encampment to see the Romani people (while, ofc, using the g-slur) as if they were animals in a circus? Hmmm, yeah, tough call!

(Look. I'm not gonna go around publicly denouncing books from past centuries for not being politically correct, bc that is an idiotic way to relate to literature from the past. Society was what it was, and not even the authors we admire so much were above that most of the time. But I can, and will!, look at certain things and go "wow, this aged like fucking milk". I think that's fair.)

AND THEN

Rochester, who can't possibly be thinking straight, proposes that Jane become his mistress!!!! Edward Fairfax Rochester, have you ever even MET Jane Eyre?? Do you know her but at all????

And he's like "me, me, me, what's to become of me, am I to be denied love, doesn't the world feel sorry for ME" and I nearly spit on my kindle, I was so mad XD How is this man, pushing fucking FORTY, putting on this preposterous show and leaving this 18-year-old girl to comfort him?????

(To bring up the sad sack that is Edmund Bertram again: it reminded me when Edmund wrote to Fanny: Maria has brought ruin to their name, Tom has nearly died, everyone is in distress, and he's like "But Fanny. Think of ME!!!" ugh)

But yes, honestly, Rochester's not evil, but he's so. goddamn. stupid. And draMATIC. I love him, he's a riot.

...I do not love how he kept blaming others for him marrying Bertha. Like. Sir. You were an adult and you married her of your own volition. "My father" this, and "her family didn't tell me" that, but YOU looked at her, thought she was gorgeous, and agreed to marry her. So fuck you. Hold yourself accountable, for a change. You man child.

So yeah, Jane runs away, which is totally the right decision, and without any money, which is totally the wrong decision, and ends up eating burned porridge again, and I'm like. If I had a nickel for every time Jane Eyre had to eat burned porridge while starving, I'd have two nickels. Which isn't a lot, but it's weird that it happened twice.

Jane is then saved by the Rivers siblings: Mary and Diana Rivers, who are absolutely precious, and St. John Rivers, who is absolutely

UNBEARABLE OH MY GOD WHY DIDN'T ANYONE TELL ME

Me, every time St. John appeared on the page:

Hey. Charlotte? Charlotte. Was this a ploy? Did you bring St. John into the story to have us like Rochester more? Is St. John your way of going "Yeah, I know, Rochester is deranged, and what he wanted to do was morally and legally and spiritually wrong, but look at how boring righteous people can be!"? Was it? If so, it FUCKING WORKED, BRING EDWARD ROCHESTER BACK RIGHT NOW.

*rubs temples*

Also??? aekjsdzcbvsdjfsk I can't: St. John: "I found you employment." Jane: "Really? Which is it?" St. John: rambles on about the will of God or something, for entire paragraphs. Jane, who patiently waited for him to finish: "So? The job?" St. John: "Right! I don't know if you're gonna like it, but" rambles on again about the will of God or perseverance or something, for entire paragraphs. Jane: "Right. And the job?"

SIR FOR THE LOVE OF GOD PLEASE TELL US WHAT THE FUCKING JOB IS

THIS IS LIKE MR. BROCKLEHURST ALL OVER AGAIN

...Oh. Oh.

That's the point.

St. John really is Brocklehurst again, I love it: both love to talk about how Christian they are, and how it's important to lead a life of humility, etc -- the difference being, ofc, that St. John is not a hypocrite, fat capitalist pig, he's actually leading by (insufferable) example. And they both make Jane feel bad about her true self, just in opposite ways.

And St. John wants to be a missionary, because of course this insufferable man wants to be a missionary and impose his views on nice people who are just living their fucking lives. And he goes on and on about... idk, bringing light to the unenlightened and saving pagans or whatever, and it's SO pedantic, and it's SO patronizing, and it's SO... UGH.

I cannot believe Jane gave this man a quarter of her entire fortune.

AND THEN

HE MAKES THE WORST MARRIAGE PROPOSAL IN THE ENTIRE ENGLISH LITERATURE

No, I have not read the entirety of English literature, but oh boy am I fully confident in my statement. This is the WORST. Like. Mr. Collins' proposal is a shining beacon of unbridled love and romance next to THIS.

Me, reading his proposal:

"Jane, you weren't made for love, you were made for labour. You were made to be a missionary's wife" QEIARKSHV\CZNB;SAEKFJSDVC I'M GONNA GOUGE MY EYES OUT WITH A SPOON

At least Jane, too, was full aware of the insult XD Love that when she told Diana of the proposal, she repeated those exact words, and Diana was like "Girl, what??? Nu-uh!!!".

But it's all great. She refuses him, and he gets all prickly and assholish about it in the most holier-than-thou way possible, I hate him, but then she hears Rochester's voice in the wind crying out for her, and she hurries back to Thornfield. Sure, we've all been there.

Then we find out karma does exist and is the proverbial bitch: Rochester lost an eye, all of his eyesight, a hand, and his manor. Wow.

And then???? They have the CUTEST reunion ever???? And I was so happy for him???? For them??? Charlotte 😭😭😭👌👌👌

Rochester being all jealous of St. John, and I'm like "no, you're safe, he's the worst, he told Jane she wasn't made for love".

He also holds himself accountable at long last (hard not to, after all that), and he thought Jane was deeeeeeaaaad, and he was inconsolable and I'm a MESS

So all is good in the end: they marry -- LEGALLY! :D -- and have a child, and he recovers his eyesight on the eye he still has, and the Rivers siblings marry and are happy, and the book ends... with a letter from St. John saying he's dying??? WHAT

I love all of it. Specially St. John dying. A few stray observations:

The foreshadowing of future events is very well-planted, nicely done, Charlotte. That horse chestnut tree being split in half by lightning after Rochester proposes marriage to Jane? 👌👌👌👌👌 If I ever saw an omen!

And Jane. So smart, so good, so compassionate, so horny on main, so witty, so brave. May God keep St. John Rivers far away from her forever and ever.

LOVE how Jane begins with an aunt (who knows her and hates her) and 3 cousins (a John who torments her trying to diminish her, and two sisters who don't care if she's alive or not) and ends up having an uncle (who doesn't know her but loves her) and 3 cousins (a John who torments her trying to "elevate" her and two sisters who love her and save her life). The story is obviously very cyclical, and I enjoyed that a lot.

Don't know if I love or hate the fact that Charlotte slapped a "St." in front of the name of the John who wants to be a missionary and is the opposite of the first John XD (Yes, I know St. John is a real name, I've seen it many times before, but it's a bit on the nose here!)

...I wonder if Miss Ingram ever found out that Rochester wanted to marry the governess. I would've paid Charlotte Brontë good money to write THAT scene.

And last but not least: Pilot is the goodest boy in the whole wide world.

[theramblingsofadork]

None of the boys on the Starpoint Squad have a professional background in engineering or chemistry, so when Starline tells them not to eat in the lab or while constructing the robot, they don’t take him very seriously.

This results in him flipping his lid (reasonably so) when he finds them doing just that, despite his warnings.

They do meekly apologize when they learn there is actually a real, scientific reasoning behind his words, and it's not just because he's being a stick in the mud.

Goes to show, Starline’s not the only one to get a slice of humble pie during the competition! XD

Accompanying fanfic below the cut!

vvvvvv

📘📙 Fanfic: A Slice of Humble Pie

Accompanying Music Track: World Trigger - 12/30

Starline stopped dead in his tracks the moment he stepped into the room. The platypus’ eyes widened when he saw Charge, Hex, and Lug standing around a table in the center.

Munching on cookies and cinnamon covered churros as they worked on the robot’s response system to Cello’s chemical mix.

Rivet immediately saw the problem too and clicked her tongue, green eyes shifting to the doctor besides her as his fists tightened at his sides. “Oh dear...” She managed to get out before Starline’s patience utterly cracked.

“GENTLEMEN!!” He exploded at the group, all of whom immediately looked up and froze like they had been caught with their hands in the cookie jar. (Ironic, because of what they were snacking on.) “WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT EATING AROUND THE EQUIPMENT?!”

The three stared at him blankly before Hex slowly crunched down on the cookie still in his mouth to reply, “Um… not to do it?” He squeaked.

“And yet, here you are, going against my very clear instructions and making an absolute mess!” Starline exclaimed angrily before he stomped over to them with balled fists. “Did it not occur to you—“ He yoinked the cookies away from Charge. “—That I had a very good reason—“ He plucked away Hex’s next. “—For telling you all not to eat in here?!”

He reached to grab the churro away from Lug, but the bulldog knit his brows together and quickly held it up out of Starline’s reach in defiance. The platypus merely gave him an unamused deadpan before a portal activated over his head, allowing Starline to easily take it from him.

The bulldog sputtered at his now empty hand and at being outsmarted, before growling deeply as the doctor continued by without so much as a second glance. “Grrrh… Well MAYBE we just thought you were being a big ole, grumpy stickler! I paid for that, you know!!”

“Well then, maybe next time, you’ll heed my words,” Starline stated with an over the shoulder frown as he crossed over to the nearest trash can to dump the confiscated goods into it.

“I don’t get what the big deal is, doc,” Charge said as he frowned and rested on his elbow on the counter.

“Clearly.” The platypus’s tone was practically dripping with sarcasm.

“…I mean, I get the whole liquids thing for obvious reasons, but is food really THAT much of a problem?”

“Yes, it is. And quite frankly, I’m surprised I even have to be saying that!” Starline exclaimed before the bag of cookies made a particularly loud ‘cur-chunk!’ as it hit the bottom of the cylinder.

Starline then spun to face them again, crossing his arms like a disappointed parent. “I understand that none of you have ever had formal training in a professional setting like this… but even so! I expected you to have SOME common sense!“

“Hey! You calling us dumb or something?!” Lug complained as he leaned atop the counter.

Starline sighed dramatically and pushed his fingers into his ivory bangs. “Your words, not mine, Lug.”

“HUHHH??”

“Regardless! Since it seems that merely believing the words of a professional isn’t enough for you, I suppose I have no other choice than to make it perfectly clear why we mustn’t eat in here.”

Gazing out to the annoyed faces watching him, Starline began to explain. “Contrary to what you all might think of me, I tell you this NOT because I am a stickler and want you all to starve. But rather because ingesting food or drink in a setting like this poses a very real and very dangerous health hazard! Not to mention it could potentially mess with the reliability of our tech!”

“‘Health hazard?’ ‘Mess up reliability?’” Lug squinted suspiciously, not buying a word of it. “How?”

Starline motioned to Charge, whose ears flattened at being singled out. “For example: Charge is currently handling the concoction Cello made, testing if the fluid is potent enough for what we need to operate the hydraulics system, is that correct?”

Charge nodded and picked up the capped glass container with the glowing blue liquid inside. “Yeah. Cello wasn't sure how concentrated it needed to be, so I’m adding it little by little to get the proper dosage. But I’m keeping it covered so it doesn’t spill and no crumbs can get inside.” He gave the bottle a little shake, causing the liquid to noisily slosh against the sides.

“A measly effort at best to prevent incident,” Starline scoffed dismissively, which earned an immediate frown. “By handling the chemicals, then eating and sharing your food with the others immediately afterwards, you’re running the risk of making yourself and the group quite sick from cross contamination!”

Charge’s grumpy attitude and expression almost immediately dropped when the realization of what he said clicked. The lemon colored cat meekly set the concoction back down on the table and dropped his gaze with it. “…Ah,” he mumbled quietly.

Starline then turned to Hex and Lug. “And you two! Even if you’re not handling the chemicals, you’re still getting crumbs everywhere! And no matter how tidy you may try to be, they’re still going to end up getting into the ports and components of whatever you’re trying to build! Which, in the long run, can and will affect connection integrity, and potentially cause a multitude of other problems down the line!”

“Oh.” Both bulldog and rat too shrank down like wet, burlap sacks in embarrassment.

“That.. might actually explain some problems I ran into back home…” Hex mumbled, scratching at a tuft of purple fur as he recalled his favorite robot struggling to work properly after a few tests. He had snacked quite a bit around that one as well. Namely, pretzels and granola bars.

Starline huffed out a breath, pleased to hear their arguments silenced, though he was still just feeling plain annoyed. “Do you understand now why I was so insistent on this? One careless misstep, and our chances of winning the competition could be over before we even get the chance to show them all what we’re capable of.“

He sighed and pushed up his glasses as he pinched the bridge of his bill. “Honestly, I get being hungry on the job, but if you feel as though you MUST feast so badly, then please, for the sake of everyone here, do us all a favor and take it to the cafeteria where that stuff belongs!!”

The boys went silent, and Starline took that as a sign of their understanding. “Thank you!”

With that seemingly now settled, the platypus huffed from his long winded speech, feeling the twinge of a headache coming on. “…Augh.. Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to get some air… I expect this place to be spotless when I come back, do I make myself clear?”

“Yes, Starline,” The three boys somewhat mutedly murmured in unison.

“Good.” The platypus shut his eyes and headed for the door, brushing past Rivet who hadn’t said a single word the entire time. “Honestly, the things I put up with...” he grumbled to himself as he walked out.

The room was deathly silent as the door closed shut behind him. Then Rivet shifted her gaze over to the group. Before she could even so much as breathe in their direction, Charge held up a hand. “Don’t say anything, sis.”

Rivet shrugged nonchalantly. “I wasn’t going to.” She paused. “…He is right though, you know.”

Charge groaned in response like he knew she was going to do that and grit his teeth. “I—!! Realize that! Ugh… Now, anyways.” He rolled his eyes sideways and slunk down.

“I didn’t mean to make him so upset…” Hex murmured softly, quietly picking at the hard plastic on his tablet. “I just didn’t want to fall behind on our tasks…”

“Augh, no, don’t blame yourself, Hex,” Lug groaned, rubbing his face with a gloved mitt. “We’re the older ones here. You were just following our example... Technically we should be the ones who are responsible..”

“Says the one who, up until a minute ago, was the most eager out of all of us to defy the doc’s instructions,” Charge pointed out.

Lug start, completely caught off guard. “WHA—! Yeah, okay, well— MAYBE I realize I was being petty… But it’s not exactly like you were any better!!” He then exclaimed.

“Yeah alright, you got me there.” Charge gave a small, sheepish huff. “I can admit I was wrong too…”

“Look, I’m sure you all didn’t mean any harm by it,” Rivet encouraged them. “But maybe from now on, just trust what he says when it comes to things like this, yeah? It’s clear to me that this competition is really important to him.” She chuckled weakly. “Otherwise, he.. probably would have kicked us to the curb about a week ago…”

The lavender cat then moved to join them at the table so she could lean back against it. “Yeah, he can be a bit arrogant, and… he’s a little rough around the edges at times. But I think he IS trying his best to work with us despite his pride. So… maybe we can do a bit more to work with him too, yeah?”

The room was quiet for a moment, then Charge nodded, seeing her point. “..Yeah. Guess it isn’t in our best interest to pull a him by ignoring his request.”

Lug grumbled and put a hand on his neck in bashfulness. “Mm.. yeah… Especially when at the end of the day, he’s just looking out for our wellbeing,” the bulldog glanced over at the trash can where their treats now lay discarded.

“We’ll apologize then when he gets back,” Hex stated, holding up his determined little fists. “Let him know we do appreciate him! And that we’ll try even harder from now on to be the best teammates he could ask for!”

Charge gave the rat a nod of approval. “Yeah, sounds like a plan. Even if he’s going to lord it over our heads for a while…”

“Better than him staying quiet and letting you accidentally poison yourselves, right?” Rivet flashed them a smile and pushed off the table to retrieve a roll of paper towels from one of the nearby counters. As she passed them to head to her own work station, she bumped it against Lug’s chest.

Lug accepted it and blinked at the roll, turning it over in his hands. “Yeah, you’re right about that,” he stated, before sighing and ripping off a square of it. “All right then.. come on guys! Let’s get this place cleaned up like the doc instructed.”

The coder and bio-electric kinetic nodded, and the three got to work on cleaning while Rivet sat down to resume work on her part of the project.

When Starline would eventually return to the group ten minutes later, their work area would be just as he expected it to be.

Bright, clean, and sparkling, with not a single crumb or drop of chemical concoction in sight. ✨

[commenter2]

The Show Must Go On episode review (Hazbin Hotel S1 finale)

The finale of season 1 of Hazbin Hotel. MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW! Also long post warning

Did the title of the episode strangely remind anyone else of the failed videogame “Showdown Bandit”? Anyone?

Charlie wishing her mom was there. Likely foreshadowing her appearing near the end.

Charlie really likes a man in uniform. Maybe take some notes on that Vaggie XD.

Looks like we got a glimpse at how Niffy sees the world, which is apparently similar to Randy Cunningham when as the Ninja.

Again CHARLE=PURITY

I’m not liking how Pentious said that quote about living and dying.

During Al’s speech, you can see Charlie realizing that Pen likes Cherri and being happy for him. Charlie is Pen X Cherri shipper confirmed XD

Could Al be really starting to care about the others?

Angel X Husk and Pen X Cherri fanservice, Charlie liking the last one XD

Oh now Cherri is interested in Pen.

COME ON, KISS YOU TWO! YES!!!

Gross, Adam’s personality is rubbing off on Lute. Even Adam is getting uncomfortable with it and considering its Adam that’s saying something.

The Heaven Bucks things sounds really fake, mostly cause I feel like money doesn’t exist/is necessary for Heaven.

WHAT THE HECK ARE THOSE OUTFITS CHARLIE AND VAGGIE ARE WEARING!?! And why am I getting She-Ra/RWBY vibes from them? Also Charlie is wearing her crown, cute.

I’m intrigued by Charlie’s shield cause I was kind of expecting to see Charlie use her pitchfork along with it, but the shield is still a nice bit of symbolism for how she wants to protect people and not harm anyone…that much. It also shows that she and Vaggie are a great team/couple as Charlie is the defense while Vaggie is the offense.

My fellow DEATH BATTLE fans (which is hopefully a lot of you) get ready to analyze Charlie’s powers, skills, and feats in this fight!

Al’s shield being another feat of how powerful Alastor is, though I wonder if his recent deal with Charlie helped with it?

Aww come one Niffty finally has a chance to go all psycho and all we see is her just stabbing corpses!

While Charlie’s crown is black on the outside, its gold on the inside/other side. Not only do I think this is a Dante’s Inferno reference (it reminds me of the hypocrites’ part but reversed) it also symbolizes how even though she is the daughter of the Devil, Charlie is still a good person.

Alastor’s using shadow jutsu!

OK I DID NOT SEE AL’S VOICE CHANGING after his cane got destroyed. At least this explains how those times I noticed his voiced changed in previous episodes.

Valentino was really saddened when Vox said seeing Alastor about to die was better then sex XD. It’s also funny cause there is a similar line in Netflix’s Castlevania series, which I could definitely see fans making parodies of soon.

Wait WTF is going on now with his voice? Ugh.

That’s our Charlie, even when in a war she is still apologizing. Also her glitter is WAY more effective than Dale Gribble’s pocket sand XD

Also if you slow down the scene enough, you can see that Charlie’s shield damaged and dented the angelic spear, meaning its likely made of something stronger then the angelic steel mentioned by Carmilla in “Hello Rosie”

Charlie shooting fireworks from her fingertips, a nice example of her powers AND a callback to the pilot.

NO NOT THE EGGBOIS! Luckily Angel finally used his secret set of arms to save one of them, we even get to hear his theme song.

And Pen X Cherri fans REJOICED! Also again showing how shallow Cherri can be.

Aww this can’t be goWHAT THE FUCK! I couldn’t even finish writing this sentence because of how fast Pen’s death was! I mean it was implied he was going to die but I thought it be more dramatic than that! Can the Helluva Boss writers at least do this for when they finally kill Striker, or have it happen in my episode idea where Moxxie and his father in law do it?

OOO ITS TIME FOR CHALIE’S DEMON FORM. And in a Sailor Moon kind of way too.

WAIT THAT’S IT? It’s just her regular horns and a tail. The writers really need to amp up these “full demon” forms of the characters as this, Ozzie’s, and Mammon’s forms have been really disappointing to me especially when compared to Stolas and even Helsa’s odd form from the pilot. I hope that this is some kind of semi form or one of many transformations of Charlie’s, and her REAL demon form is something more monstrous but it results in her losing control.

I do like Razzle and Dazzle being dragons, as I did recall them having such a power but this is better than what I was thinking they’d transform into.

DAZZLE NO! At least he died protecting Charlie.

VAGGIE VS. LUTE ROUND 2 (ding ding sound effect from episode)

(Adam slaps Charlie) Again we need fanart of Lucifer and Lilith kicking Adam’s ass.

So a part of me likes that Vaggie spared Lute cause it shows she is better than the so called “angel”, but a part of me knows this is going to bite back later on.

Lute riping her own arm off just proves the previous statement. Still I wonder what a cyborg angel will be like.

You can control fire and shoot fireworks from your fingers, you these things to make Adam let go of you Charlie!

SO Adam is wearing a mask, like I brought up before. I wonder what he looks like under it.

I’m not mad at Lucifer coming in late, cause he likely couldn’t as he probably realized it would just lead to more problems involving Heaven, but again he shows that he is the best dad so far in the series by coming in to save Charlie. Take notes Stolas!

Huh, Adam looks pretty normal looking, even looks a bit like Lute. I was expecting something really ugly under the mask like a pale complexion, sweat, and an unshaven face especially since he has worm that the entire time we have seen him.

OH HO now were getting that Adam ass kicking. Too bad that line from Lucifer kind of ruined it. I mean I can kind of see it being on brand with his goofy personality but still.

Again no one is saying Lilith’s name here. Also I know Lucifer is likely joking about him and Eve being together and just referencing the apple, but I really want to hear Lucifer say he’s only been with Lilith for all his life, then took a break after the divorce.

“NOT THE HOTEL”, is what I would be saying if the trading cards weren’t released early. Still devastating to see.

Like when Adam was choking her, Charlie had the means to save herself there as she is confirmed to have wings. Maybe their waiting for a special occasion to use them.

(Charlie transforms) What was that? At least this confirms that Charlie can transform and confirm that hoove/foot idea I brought up in the last review. I wonder if this is some kind of power from her mother?

Okay Lucifer’s demon form is pretty good. This does make me wonder what that shadow thing of his form the pilot is, if that is still canon. Hopefully it is and it confirms that Charlie can have multiple demon forms.

Holy crap they killed Adam off and Death by Niffy no less! I mean I wanted Adam and Lute to get out of the picture so someone better could take the role of angelic antagonist, but I never thought they would just kill Adam off. At least Vaggie is really happy about this, and I don’t blame her XD. It’s nice to see her smile like this.

Again we see that Lucifer has restraint, which is still interesting.

Lute took his halo. I sense some trouble coming from this. Fingers crossed that it involves how Heaven is okay with Adam being gone, and Lute becoming the thing she hates to destroy Hell AND the “traitors” of Heaven.

I’m still mix on Katie Killjoy being voiced by Brandon. It is making me wonder if Katie was always going to be like this or if they’re altering her to be more like Brandon’s female characters like Bryce. I mean I always though Katie would have a role where she just keeps spreading bad things about Charlie’s hotel, even making things up/ hire others to cause trouble for Charlie so the news can keep reporting on her. Heck she is even thanking them which I never saw pilot Katie never doing through she could be doing it to save face on livestream television. It’s still a funny idea and it has even remined me that there was a time in animation where shows had reoccurring characters whose main thing about them was being obvious references to other fictional or even real characters like Total Drama had characters such as Harold being a Napoleon Dynamite parody and Anne Maria referencing Snooki, Dr. Orpheus from the Venture Bros. was a cheap Dr. Strange knockoff (but still really funny), and there is one character in Atop the 4th Wall that I won’t spoil here cause it’s that crazy, so check it out for yourselves when you can.

Another cameo of Baxter and ARACKNISS!

I also wonder if the Exterminations will be put to a halt here as pointed out in the sliding text on the news channel. It would be interesting to see if Hell really does have an overpopulation problem, and what that would look like.

I’m surprised the V’s aren’t reacting to this more, more so with Vox but it’s likely that he saw the fight with Adam and Alastor and now has a plan on destroying Alastor. That would be cool to see in the next season.

THANK GOD FAT NUGGETS SURIVED! I think VIvzie would have had a riot on her hands if she allowed him to die.

Lucifer said the episode title!

So it looks like Alastor DID care for the others, but now he is dedicated to getting his freedom back from what I still think could be the Lilith imposter who will also be an upcoming deadly force/threat

KeeKee has a Keyblade form!

Yeah Vox and Val are definitely going to use this news for personal gain. The real question is if Velvette will aid them, as her recording them say all this feels like she will try and go out on her own, dragging her allies down in the process. Fitting given her song from “Scrambled Eggs”.

Nice song, great that both Sir Pentious AND Dazzle got memorials, and the new hotel looks amazing as it has a little bit of symbolism from all the others like Husk’s casino vibe and Angel’s career.

PEN IS IN HEAVEN! Emily is loving it while Sera looks confused and scared, BOTH cause she has never saw this happen before or knows that this will kick off some serious consequences like a version of the Armageddon prediction. This is great as now even if the recent fan theory of Emily becoming a fallen angel happens, Charlie now has another ally in Heaven to help spread her redemption plan on that side of things, great for what I can see happening in the next season.

Oh hey everyone its “Lilith”. Yeah I still believe in the “Imposter Lilith” theory that I’ve been talking about lately, and the sunglasses bit adds to it since it is hiding her eyes, like how her face was covered in “Dad Beat Dad”. Plus there have been many times in stories where sunglasses were used to hide something in fiction. Also in the past, we’ve gotten info on her saying how she would like to fight against Heaven, so its odd that she would want sanctuary in it unless she has plans that involve her being there. The biggest clue would have to be that the real Lilith would likely have cheered when she heard Adam was dead. I did talk about how the Imposter could likely want to destroy everything, so for all we know she is pretending to be Lilith who wanted sanctuary in Heaven (if they even know she is there) which is all just a ruse to get info on how to destroy Heaven to fulfill her life’s work and if anything ever happens, the Imposter can rely on her servant Lute and the Exorcist to aid her.

I will admit that it COULD be the real Lilith. I did make a recent post on my Tumblr going over how I think Lilith actually recruited the Imposter to help her take down Heaven a peg a long item ago, but she eventually realized the Imposter had bigger plans that involved destroying everything in existence and Lilith has since been trying to stop the Imposter. At one point things could have gotten so bad to a point that she had to hide in Heaven (again if they even know she is there) until she thought of a plan to stop it like having Lute work for her (again maybe Al works for the Imposter) and similar to what I have in my “Season 1 is a test for Charlie” Lilith knew Adam wasn’t up for the task of defending everyone from the Imposter, so she had to install Lute as leader of the Exorcist so there would be at least a small capable army to fight against the Imposter/upcoming threat if things got bad. However now that Charlie’s redemption plan is getting more support and is proven to be true, Lilith could be scared that the Imposter could go after her and Lucifer next, so I think next season she will try and convince Charlie to stop her goals until they have a plan of stopping the Imposter. Maybe since she made a deal with Lute, she has no choice but to stop Charlie or risk losing the one chance they have at saving everything from the Imposter…until she learns that her daughter was able to make an army to stop the Exorcist which could lead to Lilith changing her mind and maybe think that Heaven and Hell should work together to stop the Imposter/big threat. Even then there could be consequences as we don’t know what exactly happens if a deal with a demon is ever broken. Would said demon die or would the natural of the forces of the universe go crazy until something happens? For any non Percy Jackson fans and those that don’t care about spoilers for it, look up “Trials of Apollo” and “River Styx” to get an understanding of what I mean by broken deals.

That was a GREAT episode AND a great finale for the first season of Hazbin Hotel.

We got tons of action, drama, suspense, fanservice, and mystery just like how I like my shows. The finale was really good cause its on track for what I’ve been saying I would like to see Charlie go through when it comes to the next step of trying to convince the people of Heaven and Hell her redemption plan is a good thing in general for the afterlife.

The only minor problems I have with it is that they didn’t utilize Niffty as much as I thought they would in the battle.

When it comes to the season as a whole it was great, with episode 4 being the worst as we all knew those events were coming but thanks to Helluva Boss it was made less serious to me.

I also agree with other fans that biggest problem the season had was that there should have been more episodes. I mean people know how popular Hazbin Hotel AND Helluva Boss is so it’s a bit odd that they didn’t get more then 8 episodes, especially since they aren’t the usual hour long episodes that are everywhere. Not to mention how half the season came out all at once here on Amazon Prime.

Apparently this is a big problem with Amazon Prime shows in general, BUT luckily given how well received the whole season has been (wordplay pun not intended), I’m hopeful that this will convince the people at A24 and Prime to give Vivzie and the HH cast more funding to make MORE episodes for next season, like maybe 14 this time. Sure this could delay the release of season 2, which is apparently already being made, but I bet I’m not alone when I say I’d be okay with such a delay if it means more Hazbin Hotel.

Hopefully next season though there are less trailers and clips released, another reason why there should be more episodes to help dimmish such things, AND if there is another early release on A24 it should just be like 2 days before the season comes on Amazon Prime and NOT a whole week.

I’m also calling it now that the season 2 episode premiere of Hazbin Hotel will start with a news segment with Katie Killjoy and Tom Trench recapping some of the events of last season and telling us what has happened to both the characters and Hell/Heaven since the finale. I also predict that Lilith, whether the real one or the Imposter posing as her, will appear at the end of said episode starting off that season’s main story.

I definitely want to hear your thoughts on not only this episode, but also on the entire season so don’t be shy. What do you think/hope will happen in season 2? What kind of episodes or stories would you like to see in the next season? What theories do you have?

LET ME HEAR IT!!!

[desultory-novice]

Have you gone over your interpreted dynamics that Magolor, Susie and Taranza may have with each other? (asking for 1-on-1 each, so three dynamics total)

My apologies if you've gone over them already, I just don't recall.

I have not!

In fact, I don't think I've done many character + character dynamics, so please, everyone interested, I request you send me even more combos! (Must...clean all this angst...off my dashboard...!)

Now then! Onto the dynamics!

-

Magolor + Susie

[Continued Below]

These two are possibly my favorite dynamic-holders of the Wave 3 gang! You've got your classic red oni blue oni except that Magolor is the exuberant one and Susie is the (slightly) more reserved!

Magolor is interested in ancient tech for its ability to make his dreams come true. Susie is interested in turning it INTO something that can be used to make dreams come true. Re-use vs repurpose.

And I think that old tech > new tech disparity would be at the center of their dealings with each other. (Frankly, everyone in the cast is "old tech" compared to Susie but someone has to be at the top XD)

Susie operates on a planetary scale: "How can my (father's) company be used to make things better?" whereas Magolor is very "I will make a thing that people will come to from all over to feel better!"

They're so near to each other's way of thinking but fundamentally different in a few ways that means they don't quite see eye to eye. But I think they can absolutely get involved in long drawn out discussions that involve lots of "Yes! And...!"

Clash indicates to us that Magolor DOES find Susie somewhat pesky. I can't help but wonder if part of that comes from a (potentially incorrect) assumption that Susie must have had EVERYTHING she ever wanted while Magolor had to dig around in the dirt of Halcandra alone for X number of years hoping to find a magic theme park building doohickey amongst the wreckage. (We know Susie's childhood was anything but ideal but HE doesn't.)

I guess DX josses the idea that the two of them met while Magolor was wandering AD, which is a shame as that was a very neat headcanon, but even if they had, I always assumed it would have been a neutral/short-lived partnership. Not enough to dramatically change their feelings toward one another.

...I also think that Susie will be constantly looking for opportunities to opportunities to turn the Lor Starcutter pink (which it wouldn't necessarily mind, but Magolor is vehemently against!) So, yeah, I would say "great collaborators when they're working together but not all the time, and Magolor is usually the one to snap first."

-

Susie + Taranza

I've said I only "ship" one ship in this fandom, and that's true, but I am also guilty of thinking, "Susie/Taranza kinda makes sense, right?"

I mean, he very much seems to be preparing himself to flirt (?) with her in the Star Allies opening sequence. He's looking for a new queen to worship, and would Susie find that so awful, really...?

Not that I want to characterize Taranza as a pitiful loser simp-type for her, so I think it would be nice if they approached each other on more equal terms. In this case, I would think that  their dynamics come from a shared appreciation for beautiful things.

If you were to stick all three in one living space, Susie and Taranza would be the neat freaks, making sure everything is organized (and laid out in an aesthetically pleasing fashion too!) meanwhile Magolor lives on half-finished energy drinks and sleeps on the floor. XD

They are also, obviously, notable for being the two major characters in the modern games to have lost a loved one on-screen in a big Kirby game event. They really should be allowed to use this to bond.

And I'd like to think they have.

So they're kind of low-key get along. Nothing bombastic - they don't set the world on fire with how good they get along, but you're not too surprised when you see them out shopping together either.

-

Taranza + Magolor

I have a LOT of thoughts about the wizards. (In fact, I keep creating backstories for these two, because despite there being a few dedicated fans of this ship, I don't see a whole lot of people dig into Magolor having a shared backstory with Tara and Secty?!)

Despite that, my feelings on them tend to change depending upon how important I find giving them a potential backstory together. Because when on screen they feel very... neutral? They don't have the dynamism of Magolor and Susie's potential clashes, nor the obvious "lonely spider seeks confident beautiful queen" of Taranza and Susie.

Clash!Taranza sits on Magolor's shoppe, chilling out, and that is... really the best way I can describe them? They are very chill.

The concept of them talking deep magic with each other is interesting, but Taranza is a follower type of character. Someone who needs someone to be a catalyst before he will go off.

Magolor could be that for him, but I think Magolor needs to get in over his head first before he will go to Taranza for assistance.

Having said that, I think that what these two have over the other Wave 3 pair dynamics is the highest level of TRUST.

I once read a Japanese doujin about Magolor that was, frankly, even more depressing than MY most depressing works (if you know, you know, but I'm not linking it) but there was a moment when Magolor talks to Taranza about a serious issue and watching the two talk serious to each other (interspersed with some moments of comic melodrama from Taranza) was utterly FASCINATING~

I don't think they become their "true" selves to each other often, but I think that when they do talk about srs business, they are two of the strongest characters in the whole cast to do so...! (Which is probably why I would never "ship" them in the classical sense? I don't see them as going out on dates or sharing the same dessert or coffee shop stuff. When they are at their "closest" they are discussing forbidden history or the skeletons in their prospective closets....)

So, on the surface? They have a very vanilla friendship with nothing to stand out. But these two COULD (if they wanted to) get up to stuff so cursed it would drive even Marx from the room.

[amethystina]

Hi hi, I was drooling all over the tags of Who holds the devil again and I remembered to ask if the kidnapping will refer to Ga On? Or if it's a big spoiler then maybe you could please tell if we'll see protective Yo Han because you write his feelings so well I just can't get enough or over it, you're so talented.

I wouldn't call it a big spoiler, exactly, since I think most people can (correctly) guess that it refers to Ga On xD I mean, what kind of BL fanfic would this be if it was someone else? Gotta check all those dramatic romance boxes!

That said, I will repeat what I've said before, which is that it won't happen anytime soon and, if I were you, there are other tags I would be more worried about. But that's just me ;)

As for Yo Han being protective, that will feature quite heavily as a part of another plot thread long before the kidnapping tag comes into play. And I do mean protective as in full-on Abyss — with all the violence and ruthlessness that entails. To be honest, one of the scenes I look forward to writing the most right now is the culmination of that whole plotline. Partly because writing Yo Han when he's like that is so much fun, but also because Ga On will do what Ga On does best.

That's to say: Place himself in front of Yo Han and be the immovable object to slow down the unstoppable force.

And it will be delicious.

Because with all that Ga On has learned about Yo Han at that point, he's going to realise that the best way to calm Yo Han's desire for vengeance — and remind him of his humanity — isn't to get preachy or aggressive and demand he stop. It's to go soft and vulnerable and needy and a little desperate and just say:

"Please come back to me."

... I think we ALL know Yo Han won't stand a fucking chance.

So you've got that to look forward to, I guess ;)

And thank you so much! I have a lot of fun with Yo Han's emotions, not going to lie. He's got a pretty unique way of both showing and dealing with them and it's particularly interesting to try and convey that from an outside POV (Ga On's in this case). Because even if Ga On is correct in his observation the majority of the time, there are still times when he misses certain details. He often gives Yo Han the benefit of the doubt when he maybe shouldn't, for example x'D

Like, there are times in this story when Yo Han may seem kind, caring, and vulnerable but, in reality, something COMPLETELY different is happening inside his head.

Chapter 39 was actually a good example of that, specifically when Yo Han was pressing his thumb against the scar on his palm. Ga On automatically assumed that had to mean Yo Han was in pain, but that's not it at all. Not even close. Pressing the scar (which was first established in The Gentle Light, which I wrote over a year ago now) has become Yo Han's way of curbing his less-than-moral impulses when it comes to how he approaches his and Ga On's relationship.

Yo Han wasn't pressing the scar because it hurt (though he does have flashes of psychosomatic pain, too) but because he needed to remind himself not to do what he ACTUALLY wanted. Which certainly wasn't to resign himself to being rejected and go: "Then I won't."

In that moment, Yo Han wanted to claim and possess — not surrender.

And it was a struggle for him to choose the path he knew Ga On wanted him to.

In short, both Yo Han's protectiveness and possessiveness are sometimes hidden in the small things he does, which might not always be apparent to Ga On or the reader. Remember that Ga On is an unreliable narrator and while he is astoundingly good at reading Yo Han sometimes, not even he sees all.

And that, on the whole, Yo Han is a lot more vicious and immoral than Ga On wants to admit. It may not be as apparent now that Yo Han is without a revenge quest and more focused on doting on his family, but it's by no means gone. Just dormant.

The Abyss will never fully stop abyssing.

(Yes, I am definitely making this fic and the characterisation unnecessarily complex with breadcrumbs sprinkled across stuff I've written literal years ago — thank you for asking)

[giggly-squiggily]

Hi! How are you doing? THANK YOU for opening your requests, your writing is so fricking good! I have two fic requests in mind (you can choose one if you're doing one request per person :3).

platonic Lee! Sigma Ler! Dazai (BSD.). Plot: Sigma is 'air ticklish' and cannot deal with any form of anticipation without becoming a giggly mess and Dazai is a teasing jerk who takes advantage of this. That's it, that's the request XD.

platonic OR romantic Lee! Dazai Ler! Kunikida (BSD.) Plot: Dazai is ticklish but Kunikida is not. So, Kunikida finally has something to hold over Dazai's head and thus can get him back for annoying him. Little did he know, Dazai's ticklish laugh is different (read: CUTER) than his regular laugh and Kunikida accidently makes a comment about it out loud. That comment is now something Dazai can hold over Kunikida's head!

I'm not too sure how far you are in BSD, so feel free to ignore my requests if you don't feel comfortable writing it. Have a nice day and stay safe!

EKJEKJRJKE WAA! Thank you so much, anon! I appreciate the kind words! So- unfortunately I don't know Sigma yet, so I can't do that one; but I can do the Dazai and Kunikida fic! :D It's such a cute plot and I freaking love it akjejrkaejkrjaejrk I hope you like it!

Cloud 9 (Taglist peeps):

@thatbigbisexual29 @dirtpie39 @duckymcdoorknob @cupcake-spice13 @t-wordiiish @rachi-roo

“Oi.” A finger tasered his side, making Dazai shoot up in his seat with a yelp. “Stay focused.”

“I am! I am focused- I just…” Dazai huffed some upon meeting Kunikida’s eyes, turning back to his desk with a small pout. “I’m so boooored~ It’s all paperwork! And you won’t let me have my headphones-”

“Cause you spend the entire day dancing around the office and singing.”

“Hey- I raise the office morale with my incredible performances.”

“If by morale you mean headache risk, then sure.”

“GAH! My heart!” Dazai clutched his chest dramatically before falling against his desk, face down and slightly twitching.

“Paperwork. Now.” Kunikida went behind him, giving his ribs a quick tickle before heading out, leaving Dazai shooting up with a startled laugh.

“Mm…I’ll get you back, Doppo. That’s a promise.”

~~~

Dazai wasn’t kidding around either. He was determined to get Kunikida back.

Since the discovery of his…weakness, Kunikida had been adamant on using it against Dazai everyday. Not doing his paperwork? A poke to the ribs. Explaining his elaborate plan for his newest suicide attempt? Cut off with fingers against his neck. Singing and having a grand ol’ time? A squeeze to the thigh that nearly took him to the pearly gates.

Granted, he really shouldn’t have been dancing on the desk…

The point is- Kunikida was being a tyrant, and Dazai was gonna find a way to break him down!

“Hehehehe, this should work just fine…” The bandaged man grinned as he laid out his trap- like a carrot to the rabbit, he’d lure Kunikida in and attack! “Try to resist this, Kuni. Hehehe~”

~~~ “Where is that moron? First he bails on paperwork, then he has the audacity to dance on my desk-” Kunikida’s mutterings came to a halt when his eyes landed on a particular book lying across the coffee table. “Is that…no way!”

But it was! Upon the table was a brand new notebook! Pristine and shiny- untouched by other’s ideals and just waiting for Kunikida to sink his pen into! It was even by his favorite notebook creator- this had to be for him, yes? Oh how he wanted to touch it…

Just as quickly as it came, his excitement was snuffed out- replaced by suspicion. Was it really for him? Sure- he may be the only one to use notebooks for his ability, but that didn’t mean no one else had purpose for them. He shouldn’t be so bold.

….Surely just admiring it wouldn’t hurt, right?

Giving in to his weakness, he came over to the table, studying the craft with careful eyes. Oh, it was so beautiful! Wrapped in plastic to keep from dirtying and oh so lovely! With that- surely he could touch it? He reached out and…

“HA!” Dazai all but yelled from behind, latching onto Kunikida’s waist and digging in. “Gotcha! Gotcha gotcha gotcha! You can’t escape…me.” The brunette blinked. Why wasn’t Kunikida laughing? He pressed into ribs, wiggled his hands against his belly and sides, even pinched his hip! How…

Looking up slowly, he met Kunikida’s raised eyebrow with a sheepish grin. “H-Hello there. How are you today, Kuni?”

“Fine. Yourself?” Kunikida turned in his arms, gently taking Dazai by the shoulders as he forced him back into the couch. Dazai stiffened some, eyes wide as he leaned away. “You look nervous.”

“Oh no- no, not at ahahhall-” Dazai scrunched some with a giggle as the thumb closest to his collarbone massaged circles into his skin, already ticklish. “Dohohoho you like yoohohohur presehehehnt?”

“Oh, so it is for me? I’d say I appreciate the gift if it weren’t so obviously a trap.” The thumb on his otherside began to swirl, making Dazai scrunch up further, his giggle fits increasing. “Did you really think that would work? I believe I’ve told you before I’m not ticklish.”

“Thahahhahat’s buhuhuhuhuhuhuhull! I sthihihihihihll behehehhet you ahahahhahre- ahhhehehahah wahhahhait whahahahhait!” Dazai leaned back further when fingers began tracing his neck, his shoulders all the way up to his ears as he kicked. “Dohohohohon’t not my neehhehehheck!”

“Is it too ticklish for you, Dazai?” Kunikida smirked as he dropped his hands, giving the other a chance to breathe. “Very well then. I’ll skip your neck.”

“Whahahit reahahahally? Cause I don’t mih-Hhehehehehhehehehehehhehehehend!” Dazai shot up with a proper squeal when his ribs were assaulted from the front, ten fingers finding all the soft spots of his torso as they scratched and scribbled against them. “Aheahhahahhahaha, Kuhuuhuhuhnikihhihihihiihda! Gheahahahhaha, it tiihiihihihihckles!”

“That’s kind of the point.” The poet almost laughed himself, shaking his head as Dazai squirmed and giggled beneath him. Wait- what did he say earlier?

With a curious hand, he swept it up and tickled Dazai’s neck some more.

“AHEHAHAHAHAHHA!” A snort squeal shot out of his lips as Dazai attempted to curl up, falling sideways on the couch as he swatted at Kunikida’s hands. The laugh he let out was startling cute- soft and deep; rich with genuine glee as the brunette turtled up. “KUUHUUHHUNIKIHIIHIIHIDA!”

Oh right- he was still tickling. “Yes?”

“PLEHAHAHAHHHASE!”

“And thank you?”

“YOU KNHOOHOHOW WHAHHAHAHT I MEHAHHAHHAN!”

“Do I really?” He snuck a hand beneath his armpit, making the brunette wheeze into near silent laughter. “Come on- speak up. I can’t help you if you don’t tell me.”

“eheheheheHAHAHAHHAHA!” The sound came back when Kunikida removed his hand, returning it to Dazai’s waist and kneading gently. “STahhahahaap tiihiihihickling mehehehhehe!”

“Heh. Very well. I suppose you’ve learned your lesson.” Kunikida gave him one last scritch against his neck before pulling his hands back, watching Dazai slump. He looked so defeated- it was rather…

“Adorable.” Kunikida found himself saying outloud.

“Huh?” Dazai blinked, face red as he stared up at Kunikida. The poet felt his own flush a rivaling color, stiffening up at what just came out of his mouth. “Wait- Kuni-”

“I didn’t say that.”

“You just called me-”

“No! That was the wind.”

“You think I’m adorable! Is that why you always tickle me?” Dazai didn’t look alarmed anymore. If anything, he was grinning from ear to ear, eyes sparkling. “I knew you loved my antics! I knew it! No wonder you’ve been playing with me more recently!”

“H-Hush your mouth! I most certainly do not!” Kunikida twisted away, willing his face to cool. He was this close to getting away too! “Your antics are ridiculous and your behavior is that of a child! I find you annoying!”

“Say it to my face then, Kuni~”

The poet turned to do just that, but found the words stuck in his throat at the cheshire grin Dazai was wearing. “Oh, you son of a- GAH!” He turned to leave, marching out of the sitting area of the office.

A few seconds later, he came back, collecting the notebook.

“I’m keeping this. It’s my payment for the stress you give me.” He grunted before leaving again, Dazai’s childlike laughter following him out.

Dang…even his laugh is adorable.

Bastard.

Thanks for reading!

[iamvegorott]

Hello~. I had a great laugh reading the end of that last request you did. But then it got me thinking..... Can you do one where Anti is sitting on the couch, pouting, as he's getting lectured about coming home late after a date with Dark? And it's extra funny because he's technically the oldest, yet his younger siblings have him cornered.

Anti does have a habit of breaking curfew XD

----------

Anti stepped into the Septiceye House at some hour of the night. He had no idea what time it was, and the way he casually strolled in gave away that he didn’t care. He finished a date with Dark and was on that happy high he always got after spending time with him. If anyone ever mentioned said happy high, he’d deny it until he was blue in the face. Despite him and Dark seeing each other for several months, they were both still…shy about discussing it with the others. 

“You’re late.” Chase’s voice brought Anti back to the present, and he blinked at the sight of the other Septiceyes in the room looking at him like disappointed parents. 

“I’m not that late.” Anti huffed and tried to leave the room, but Jackie stood in his way. “You guys are being dramatic.”

“Take him to the couch,” Chase stated.

“Don't you-Jackie!” Anti yelled in protest when Jackie grabbed his upper arms and picked him up. “You and your stupid strength!” He let out a string of curses after that until he got sat down on the couch. 

“Thank you.” Chase smiled at Jackie before putting his stern face back on for Anti. “Where have you been?” 

“With Dark, you know this.” Anti rolled his eyes, crossing his arms and leaning back in a bit of a pout. 

“I always thought Dark was better at keeping track of time,” Henrik commented. 

“He is.” Marvin hummed as his grin grew. “But even the most time-conscious can get forgetful when they’re busy~” 

“What? You want details or something?” Anti scoffed. “I can tell you all about how I got bent-”

“Nope, nope, nope.” Jackie covered his ears. “We do not want details.” 

“I’m a grown man. I can go and have sex with my boyf-” Anti’s word turned into a long f sound as he caught himself.

“Boyfriend?” Chase finished for him.

“No!” 

“Our boy has a boyfriend!” Henrik joined the teasing. Anti felt his face getting warm and did not like that.

"‘Your boy’ is older than all of you.” Anti reminded as he stood up. “And I am not listening to this anymore. I am-” A new string of curses came out when Chase pulled him into a hug.

“They grow up so fast!” Chase played up a ‘crying voice’.

“I will stab you several times.” Anti squirmed with his threat. 

“Someone is blushing.” Marvin pinched Anti’s cheeks, giggling and moving his hands away when Anti tried to bite them. 

“I guess it is not shocking you stayed out so late. You must want to spend as much time as possible with your boyfriend.” Henrik chuckled. 

“I’m setting the House on fire.” Anti tried to escape from Chase again but got trapped by Jackie joining the hug.

“Can I be the best man at the wedding?” Jackie asked.

“Wedding!?” Anti’s eyes went wide, and his face turned a deeper shade of red. “There is no wedding! There will not-no-we’re not-no!” 

“Do you think he’s been punished enough for breaking curfew?” Marvin asked Henrik. 

“Give him another moment of sputtering, and yes.” Henrik watched the scene with a smirk. 

[walkingstackofbooks]

DS9 2x22 The Wire thoughts (I'm re-watching, so there may be future spoilers)

I'm so excited to watch this again!

I guess we don't know that Julian had the choice to "entertain one of his lady friends" the night before, but I certainly choose to believe he did, he wanted to finish Garak's book more :p

Garak's stammering in "Doctor, what do you think you're doing?" :3

"In my expert medical opinion, I'd say it's sick." XD

"Keiko would be proud of you." Hah - the thing is I can imagine the overly-excited Julian telling her about this at some point and her just sweetly saying "well done, I'm impressed" but in her teacher voice she uses for seven year olds

"It's not like you two are really friends." Julian is NOT being subtle here that at the very least he WANTS to be real friends 😅 this man and lying...

Okay and now he's stabbing the plant with the hypospray because he's so frustrated with not being able to help Garak

VERY dramatic entrance, doctor.

😬😂That looked suspiciously like Quark was miming giving Julian oomax while saying "maybe a late night session in a holosuite".

"Try not to yell at any more admirals for a while." "I wasn't yelling. I was just expressing my feelings. Loudly." Gotta love Sisko

Oh, his poor dejected face at the information recurring taking weeks :3

Love how Julian is called to take care of Garak - this isn't Dr Bashir being called, it's not a medical emergency. It's Julian being Garak's only known friend who's requested.

Is it just me or did Julian check Garak or when he said "We'll go to my quarters"?

That drink exchange was VERY smooth of Quark and Julian

"I routinely monitor all of Quark's subspace communications." "Is that legal?" XD

"I see your point"... That's actually the exact same phrase as altered!Julian uses in Dramatis Personae - only this time it's ihm agreeing to do something questionable with Odo, last time it was to do something reasonable with him.

" I hope you don't have one of those little bugs hidden in my quarters." "Should I?" What's the betting Julian's going to be paranoid about this for a few weeks?

Julian's "What?! *sigh*" after being told Garak had left the infirmary. Idk it gave me feels.

I'm here for his Angry Pacing

"Doctor, did anyone ever tell you that you are an infuriating pest" "Chief O'Brien all the time, and I don't pay any attention to him either." That answer came SO quickly, he didn't even have to think about it

"I'm a doctor. You're my patient. That's all I need to know" JULIAN I CANNOT WITH YOU

Ohh, his sad looking downness <3 <3

Endless endless compassion, I love you so much

"Right now I'm not concerned with what you did in the past. I'm simply not going to walk out of here and let you die. We need to turn that implant off and whatever withdrawal symptoms or side effects you may experience, I promise I'll help you through them." Is he really not in love with Garak?! Because this is some gay shit Julian Subatoi Bashir. GAY I tell you

"In that case I want to talk to him now. Wake him up." "I'll do no such thing." "Doctor, these are murder cases and Garak may be a suspect." "That may be so, but he's still my patient and I won't have him disturbed." I am WILD about calmly resolute Doctor Bashir

I love a sleepy Julian :3

Garak's manic speech is incredible. WHAT a performance. My word. I couldn't look away.

" I can't believe that I actually enjoyed ... staring into your smug, sanctimonious face." Staring into Julian's face sounds pretty gay to me, Garak. (Who wouldn't enjoy staring at it though?)

Ah yes, wrestling on the floor with your alien crush while he is out of his mind. Definitely never happened before in Trek. No parallels here to be drawn.........

"I don't want to hurt you." And presumably he actually could.

Julian whizzing through all the samples, brining one back having seen it for all of 2 seconds and immediately knowing which one to overlay it with. THAT SEEMS PRETTY GENETICALLY ENGINEERED TO ME. I swear I don't know how that crackpot retcon worked so well, but it DOES

"More than I deserve." Oooh, callback to earlier int he episode when he said "Has it ever occurred to you that I might be getting exactly what I deserve?" .... My HEART

"I've about given up on learning the truth from you, Garak."I The FONDNESS with which he SAYS this!

"We were closer than brothers...."Sons of Train" welp, that's the 'true' bit

Holding handsssss!!!

There's no way Sisko sanctioned this, right? Did Julian just steal the shuttle craft?!

Okay then, just beam into the house of someone you know to be extremely dangerous and start poking around?! Your curiosity, Julian, I swear...

*wide smile* "I always drink Tarkalian! ..." -suddenly realises that this is VERY personal information Tain has on him- "...Tea."

Did he just GIGGLE? *rewatches* Yep, it's definitely there - "Are all the Starfleet Lieutenants as brash as you are?" "I couldn't say - hehe - though I doubt it."

"I thought you were his friend." "I suppose I am." YES HE SAID IT that's the first step

"Information is your business." Julian you are bold as BRASS

"he'll never come home again" oof, knowing the double meaning of home as Cardassia and to Tain

The disappointment in Julian's face at the answer to his "Who was Elim?" question

Ohhh, that last conversation. Julian's so damn fond of him. That smile at the end. They ARE in love.

Well this was delightful. What a good episode. I had forgotten, and wasn't sure if it had just been hyped up. But no. Truly phenomenal. Thanks, DS9!

[swearyshera]

Alice,

I've loved being able to read Sweary She-Ra through the years. I happened upon it only a few months after finishing She-Ra (I was late to the party due to not having Netflix, oops), and it gave me so much wonderful content to keep my excitement for the series alive.

The way you explored the characters, especially Catra's mental health and her relationship with Shadow Weaver, helped give me a new understanding and greater appreciation of them. I bring up Catra specifically because, I'll be honest, I wasn't a big Catra fan for awhile. I liked her well enough, then kinda didn't in season 4, but grew fond of her again around season 5. But you helped me understand her thought-process, and I came to like her more because of it. I really like that you also handled her in a nuanced way, where, as you've said many times, you explained her behavior without excusing it, and that made all the difference.

One of the things I really appreciated about your take on She-Ra was how apparent your intelligence was, as well as your writing skill. It wasn't just "Catra says fuck and Glimmer has killed dozens," even though it could have been--you went the extra mile (or kilometer, since you're British :P) and gave us a variety of jokes, as well as mood shifts from comedic to tragic to dramatic to hopeful. All of the characters felt like themselves, even though they were pushed up to 11 and had some creative liberties taken, such as Frosta being a demon and Hordak's Geordie accent. You had a good handle on all of them, which can be very hard to do with a large cast, especially one written by another writer.

I also really appreciated that you took the time to answer asks and build a community here. It gave us lovely jokes such as Bob (that's right, I haven't forgotten about him), Catra's age, and Entrapta reading our comments. I've always been very shy online, but seeing you having such nice interactions with fans helped me open up, and I'm glad I did! I used to ask anonymously from time to time (yes, my first ask was about DT, all the way back during your start on season one, what else would it be? XD), and I'm glad I've gotten to chat and joke with you, as have the rest of us.

I'm so glad that you stuck with this and created such a wonderful fan-series. We never got a movie, but this was just as good, in my opinion. It was like watching SPOP for the first time all over again. I'm excited to see what you create next, be it SPOP-related or not. I hope the future has great things in store for you.

You brought us laughs, tears, and spectacular Glimmer-swears, and your blog means so much to so many people. You mean so much to so many people. I hope you find success in your future endeavors!

FOR THE HONOR OF GAYSKULL!

What can I say, it's truly been an honour (of Gayskull) to write something that I had no idea brought so much to many people. I'm genuinely quite humbled by the reaction.

I always wanted to be fair to all the characters, to show their reasons without necessarily validating the invalid stuff that they've done, and that particularly came across with Catra. It's no secret that I see a lot of parallels between her and my own history, but I've applied the same take-no-shit but be kind approach that I took with myself over the years. And I've learned a lot about mental health during that time, so I could give that sometimes painful realism, but also know just how to make fun of it in the right way.

In some ways, I feel like the characters I've written have taken on their own personality that's very distinct from the original, and that's probably why I think there's a little more mileage in them yet. Both in terms of original stuff (my pilot script Snowflakes has almost 1:1 versions of DT and Perfuma!), but also in the possibility for creating more Sweary stuff, and that is slowly taking shape - although I am taking it easy for a bit, I've already outlined a story which I'd love to make into an audio drama. Currently workshopping it with a couple of people, so watch this space...

It has been a joy to get so many asks from people, yourself included, and my inbox will always be open. I'm not going anywhere for a while! You were very much my DT-asker-in-chief, and I'm super glad you enjoyed their scenes (heck, you even got them a cameo at the end!). So thank you immensely for the support.

I'm happy I've been able to contribute to a wonderful fandom in such a way, and I'm eager to keep on giving back to a community that has given me so many amazing friends.

FOR THE HONOR OF GAYSKULL!

[zarvasace]

If you're looking for more requests, how about minish Four and Fairy Hyrule?

This perhaps isn't quite what you were after (sorry) but it's fun either way. XD ~400 words.

---

"Hey, Hyrule."

Hyrule looked up from the strands of grass he was working on weaving together to pass the time. "Four. What's up?" 

Four sat down next to him against the barn wall, stretching out his feet in the shade. He lowered his voice, watching Twilight and Wind splash each other in the river a distance away. "I want to warn you."

"...warn me?" Hyrule set the grass aside, feeling chilly. "About what?" 

"Nothing dramatic, don't worry. You don't need a weapon," Four laughed. "No. It's just that… well… Wars's new knife is… bad."

"Bad?" Hyrule asked slowly. He stopped reaching for his sword, but he remained tense. 

"Well, for one, it isn't great quality," Four said. "It isn't steel like the merchant said, just mostly iron."

Hyrule made a face. "Iron?" 

"It's an awful material to make knives out of. It's too brittle. It isn't even pure iron, so I'd have to purify it if I wanted to do anything with it." Four shook his head. "Warriors was disappointed when I told him. I don't know how he picked out the worst quality metal I've seen in a while, but he did." 

"Why are you��� warning me?" Hyrule asked slowly, still not quite relaxing. "I don't really care what Wars's knife is made out of."

Four sighed and looked at Hyrule straight on. "I only work with iron when I have gloves and an apron on. Otherwise, it would hurt. You probably think you're being subtle, but I can tell it would hurt you, too."

Hyrule's eyes went wide, and he felt somewhat foolish, and a little offended. "I think I'm being subtle? How—"

"Hyrule," Four said, a bit of a smile on his face. "I'm sorry for being circumspect. Look. I can tell you're fey. You hide it, but I can tell, because I am, too."

"You are?" Hyrule's thoughts ground to a halt, and he blinked at Four. He'd always noticed that Four's magic had a bit of a different flavor to it, but he had chalked it up to the Four Sword being odd. 

"Yes. Be careful around Wars's new knife, all right? You wouldn't want to get hurt." Four stood up, gave Hyrule a smile, and wandered off, as if he hadn't just upended Hyrule's entire view of the universe. 

…Hyrule should really look into those magic auras a bit. 

[fangirleaconmigo]

Are you taking requests actually? I want to know if Jaskier ever or often patches up geralt’s wounds

ETA: CORRECTION! THANK YOU ANON. PLEASE REBLOB THIS ONE FOLKS.

Hi Elsa! So here I am apologizing again to a tumblr fren for how long I take. But I really do open a gdoc and pick away at these for months. Hopefully they are worth the wait.

So. Here is your next installment of ...

I Can't Believe It's Not Fanon: facts that sound like Geraskier fic writers made them up, but that are in fact, book canon.

'Bandaging each other up' edition.

In Geraskier fic, the ‘’bandaging each other up” trope is wildly popular. That just makes sense. Geralt has a dangerous job + we all want them to show each other care and tenderness. Restrained yearning while touching is a great combo.

Now, is it book canon? (drumroll please)

Yes folks. It's canon.

They both patch each other up at least once that is mentioned. The time Geralt bandages Dandelion is much more dramatic so I'll focus there first:

Geralt does patch Dandelion up. And while it isn’t just like fanon (there are no kisses) it is an incredibly pivotal moment for Geralt. Seeing Dandelion get hurt and put at risk, fucks Geralt up so badly that it leads to one of the most iconic scenes in the series. It also portrays one of my most beloved tropes of all time. I will get into all that.

 Also, as a bonus, the way their friends react to Dandelion’s (relatively) minor injury, is so fucking funny and cute. There is this fanon going around, (I saw a post I can’t find now) where Jaskier gets minorly injured and the wolves fuss over him and make a big deal over his bravery. XD It’s very cute. 

And actually.

That is canon. Only instead of the wolves, it’s the hansa. (For the uninitiated, the hansa is an iconic group of friends who wander the continent through a war hellscape with Geralt to help him find Ciri)

Ok *clears throat* here is what happens when Dandelion is injured. I talked about this part a bit in my “Geralt being extremely protective of Dandelion” post, but I have something new to say about it, I promise.

So, in Baptism of Fire, Geralt and Dandelion are on the same horse, fleeing an enemy. They are in a clearing, and are trying to make it to a forest for tree cover. Geralt is riding in front, and Dandelion is holding onto Geralt for dear life in the back. If they are caught and overpowered, it would mean certain death. In that context, here is how Dandelion is injured:

When hope dawned that they might just make it, the night air suddenly sang with a whistle of fletchings. Dandelion yelled, this time very loudly indeed, and dug his fingers into Geralt’s sides. The Witcher felt something warm dripping onto his neck.

Uh oh. Bard down. What does Geralt do?

“Hold on!” he shouted, catching the poet by the elbow and drawing him closer to his own back. “Hold on Dandelion!”

So first, he draws Dandelion closer, hoping he can cling to his back. And how does Dandelion react? Well, Dandelion has been hurt before, when the djinn got him. But that was magical. There was no blood involved. No one has ever made him bleed his own blood before. So, he panics.

“They’ve killed me!” the poet howled, impressively loudly for a dead man. “I’m bleeding! I’m dying!”

The tongue in cheek humor is one of the hallmarks of the witcher books. But yeah. The poor guy utterly panics. They almost make it into the cover of some woods when Dandelion pitches backwards off the horse.

The poet thudded onto the dirt and lay still, groaning pathetically. His head and left shoulder were covered in blood, and glistened black in the moonlight. 

Now, this part I've discussed. The next part is where we see how it makes Geralt feel to see Dandelion harmed like that. 

The witcher sprang up, feeling a swelling wave of cold fury and hatred inside him...he wanted to kill.

Seeing Dandelion attacked makes him feel cold fury and homicidal rage. So he faces their pursuers and kills the leading rider in a grotesque way, by way of a blade into his open mouth up to the hilt. (Geralt is an intense motherfucker when you hurt someone he loves) Then he goes back to his friend.

“Dandelion! Where were you hit? Where is the arrow?”

“In my head, it’s stuck in my head.”

“Don’t talk nonsense! Bloody hell, you were lucky. It only grazed you.”

“I’m bleeding...”

Dandelion has never been shot before, so he thinks the pain means the arrow is stuck in his head. Geralt is massively relieved. And then Geralt does something that we do see a lot in fanon.

Geralt removed his jerkin and tore off a shirtsleeve. The point of the quarrel had caught Dandelion above the ear, leaving a nasty looking gash extending to his temple. The poet kept bringing his shaking hand up to the wound and then looking at the blood, which was profusely spattering his hand and cuffs. His eyes were vacant.

So Geralt takes off his own jerkin so he can get to his shirtsleeve and he tears his own clothing to get ready to bandage Dandelion. Dandelion is in shock. His eyes are vacant.

And here’s the part that really gets me.

The witcher realized he was dealing with a person who, for the first time in his life, had been wounded and was in pain. Who, for the first time was seeing his own blood in such quantities.

Now, again, Dandelion was horrifically wounded by the djinn. But it was magical and he was cured. But this is the first time he is bleeding from a wound. And to me it is so crucial that this is the thought that Geralt has. Despite the fact that he’s closer to a hundred years old than fifty, and has been injured countless times, he never loses sight of the fact that his friend doesn’t have the same experience of physical suffering that he does. (I’ll come back to that). Now. Back to the story.

“Get up,” he said, wrapping the shirtsleeve quickly and clumsily around the troubadour’s head. “It’s nothing, Dandelion. It’s only a scratch. Get up, we have to get out of here fast.”

So Geralt wraps up his wound. But since they are in the middle of a battle zone and he is emotional, it is quick and clumsy and he's trying to calm him. And now he needs to get him to safety.

Dandelion managed to get up, but immediately sat down again, groaned and sobbed pitifully. The witcher lifted him to his feet, shook him back to consciousness and hauled him into the saddle. 

Geralt mounted behind the wounded poet and spurred the horse east...

So, he reassures him, rips his own clothes to bandage him and he tosses him on the horse for safety. Now they ride off to find their friends, and now Geralt is behind him, holding him up.

Now, we get back to the hansa. If you don’t know hansa, there is Milva, who I have profiled here. She is a very tough archer who has been through a lot of shit and can beat your ass. There is Cahir, (nothing like tv Cahir) who used to be a soldier. So. Also a warrior. And we have Regis, a several centuries old vampire who can go from genteel to deadly in the blink of an eye. (we don’t have Angouleme yet). I'd be willing to wager that Dandelion is the baddest ass poet on the continent. But compared to Geralt and the other members of the hansa, he is a soft squishy little wet kitten, and they rarely let him forget it.

When Geralt reunites with them, Regis bandages up Dandelion with a real bandage. Regis is a barber/surgeon and very good at field medicine. 

And the way Regis talks to Dandelion is so sweet. Like, there is an inherent ridiculousness but to me it is so goddamn touching. Here he is treating him:

“Be brave, Dandelion.”

Dandelion was brave.

“Almost done here,” Regis said, setting about bandaging the victim’s head. “Don’t you worry, Dandelion., you’ll be right as rain. The wound is just right for a poet, Dandelion. You’ll look like a war hero, with a proud bandage around your head, and the hearts of the maidens looking at you will melt like wax. Yes, a truly poetic wound. Unlike an abdominal wound for instance. Liver all cut up, kidneys and guts mangled, stomach contents and faeces pouring out, peritonitis...Right, that’s done.”

It is so comedic how he talks to a grown man like a child but it's genuinely touching to me because there is real compassion in it. They may have suffered far worse (Regis has been quite literally torn apart), but they still are so proud of him for dealing with his wound. Also, he knows to appeal to two of Dandelion’s biggest priorities; good poetry and impressing women. 

Then, we really see the emotional effects of Geralt seeing Dandelion injured like that. 

Right after this happens, Geralt tries to drive his friends away. He says his mission (they are trying to find Ciri in a war zone) is too dangerous for them. He gives his “I’m going it alone now, you can all leave” speech. Dandelion has no intention of leaving him and sasses the fuck out of him, shading him in a very accurate way, as he does.

“It only concerns you,” Dandelion repeated slowly. “You don’t need anybody. Company impedes you and slows down your journey. You don’t expect help from anybody and you have no intention of relying on anybody. Furthermore, you love solitude. Have I forgotten anything?”

And Geralt’s response shows us how badly Dandelion’s injury had him fucked up. He replies to Dandelion:

“Had that arrow passed an inch to the right, you idiot, the rooks would be pecking out your eyes now. You’re a poet and you’ve got an imagination; so try imagining a scene like that...”

That arrow, that close call on Dandelion's life really shook Geralt. Though he always worried about them, Dandelion’s injury was the inciting event for him to try to push away his friends in order to protect them. But of course no one leaves him. They make him sit down and chop vegetables for the iconic fish stew scene. Ok, now back to the ‘everyone is proud of Dandelion for his injury’ trope.

The group reunites with Zoltan Chivay, their dwarf friend, and he shouts and embraces Dandelion. 

“Dandelion, alive and kicking, even if your skull is bandaged! And what do you say, you bloody busker, about this latest melodramatic banality? Life, it turns out, isn’t poetry! And do you know why? Because it’s so resistant to criticism!”

I love how all of these warrior/soldier/badass types love to tease him about being a poet. It’s the kind of teasing that shows affection and indicates that they consider him part of their group, even though his gifts are different than theirs. Then later, Milva talks about how she misjudged Dandelion and how he is a hero.

“I saw how Dandelion puts on a brave face: but thought him weak, soft, not used to hardship. I was just waiting for him to give up and we’d have to offload him...Now just look: Dandelion’s the hero...”

But of course, Dandelion cannot just be cool about the attention he’s getting. He has to make ballads about himself.

Dandelion followed behind Regis and Geralt on Pegasus, with a bandaged head and a warlike mien. As he rode, the poet composed a heroic ballad...the song clearly implied that the author and performer had been the bravest of the brave during the adventures.

The man just cannot. Be. Cool. About it. But I think it’s cute they all let him preen and they don't tell him to stfu about a damn grazing of the head. XD That's true friendship. True love.

So, can I tell you about what really really gets me about that bit though? 

Geralt, our main character, has been abused and traumatized in every way imaginable. He has been tortured, assaulted, discriminated against, experimented on, beat to shit, and people are always trying to kill him. 

In my experience, people who are traumatized can sometimes resent people who have had an easier life. They can begrudge other people their comparative innocence, freedom, or ignorance. It’s human. It happens. 

So when there is a fictional character (Geralt) who is that traumatized, and they meet someone comparatively sheltered (Dandelion has been beaten for sure, but it's hard to compete with Geralt's experience with harrowing violence), and instead of resenting that person, their instinctive emotional reaction is an undying, almost pathological determination to protect the more sheltered person, that gets to me. It hits me directly where I live.

The compassion and empathy it takes to have a wound like a crater and instead of begrudging other people their relative safety, you dedicate your life to preventing them from getting a scratch, that is profound. And when I see it in a fictional character, I fall in love with them. That’s it. I just hand them my heart. It also sort of implies to me a sense of vulnerability. An instinctive desire for healing. When you can heal someone else and it makes you feel good, isn’t that like wanting healing for yourself? It makes me ache.

Girl help, I’m in my feelings again about Geralt of Rivia.

Dandelion helps Geralt Sew His Wounds

Now, the fanon of Jaskier patching up Geralt is not on the page in book canon. He must have helps him with smaller injuries from time to time, just by sheer necessity given how many years they travel together. And while he hates murder and gore, I imagine he can handle small wounds. But that isn’t on the page.

CORRECTION: AND IT IS ON THE PAGE.

Thanks to a lovely reader/observant anon who reminded me AND hunted down the passage, it is mentioned at least once that Dandelion helps Geralt with suturing a wound. In Sword of Destiny p227:

" Just before the girl arrived, Geralt had poured a coagulating elixir on his mutilated forearm, and boosted it with an anaesthetic elixer, and Essi had caught them just as he and Dandelion were suturing the wound using a fishing line tied to a hook."

Now, other times, when Geralt is very probably-would-have-been mortally wounded (after the striga, or after the redacted), Jaskier is not physically present, and once someone else helps Geralt because they are much better equipped to do so. On the page, it is always usually women who put Geralt back together: priestesses, sorceresses, or dryad healers. 

The women in Geralt’s life challenge him in various ways, and their respect is sometimes hard earned. But they are always there when he needs them. They are all powerful or learned healers. And Yennefer specifically tries to think of his health. She indirectly pressures people to pay Geralt more for jobs so he has more of wages for medical expenses. It is touching, AND really important how it places Geralt and witchers as part of the working class.

Dandelion constantly defends Geralt. Geralt is his specialest boye. But he never bandages Geralt in the books. And he also canonically helps him suture his wounds.

So, this one is 50/50. Half canon half fanon. It's canon, folks.

ALSO, that story, (A Little Sacrifice, which is a short story in Sword of Destiny) is PEAK domestic Geraskier/Gerlion. They pool their money and get in brawls together, and they share a bed and clothing. They also philosophize, psychoanalyze each other, bicker, and swear not to leave each other when they get into trouble out on a hunt. If you don't want to, or can't read the books, I recommend that one short story.

The "male gaze" is heavy (most people's critique of The Witcher books is very true) in that story. The mermaids breasts are described at least twice every time she makes an appearance. But the story IS really fucking delightful and you get so much insight into Geralt and his friendship with Dandelion is in top form. Also, I adore Essi, and she is in that story.

Anyway, thanks again to the eagle eyed anon. I usually try to qualify "that is not in the books" with "that I remember" since my brain is so fallible. But I really thought I would have noticed something like that! Goes to show.

And I think it's HYSTERICAL that the ONE time I write that Gerlion DON'T entirely behave like they're in a fanfic, is the time that I'm wrong XD.