#am i a coward for posting this so late at night? MAYBE SO
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buckymorelikefuckme · 7 months ago
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curiosity
jake jensen x fem reader
words: 1.3k
warnings: **18+ ONLY** smut, oral (m and f receiving), anal fingering (m receiving), prostate milking, a little overstimulation. let me know if i've missed anything!
a/n: idgaf this is purely self-indulgent. perhaps it reveals more about me than i care for but idc!!!!!! let me live!! (thanks and sorry to @brandycranby for inadvertently helping me with this lolol) not proofread in the slightest, so any and all mistakes are my own. feedback is encouraged and appreciated :)
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It starts with your curiosity.
You've had moments of wondering with past partners, about whether or not they'd be into it, but you never acted on that curiosity before. You never felt like you could, like you'd be safe to explore something new sexually with those people.
But with Jake… Jake makes you feel the safest you've ever felt in a relationship. You're still a bit shy, unsure of how to ask how he'd feel about it, because what you're wanting to do might be too much for him. At the same time, you know he'd never make you feel bad for asking.
So, when it happens, you don't actually verbally say anything.
You've got Jake sitting on the edge of your bed, with you on your knees between his, mouthing wetly at his hard cock. He’s making soft sounds above you, one hand propped behind him holding himself up while his other hand is holding your hair away from your face.
When you look up at him through your lashes, sucking on the tip of his cock, he bites his lip and tips his head back with a sigh. Slowly, you begin to take more of him into your mouth, bobbing your head and adding suction on the way up. You see his abs clench as he grunts when you dip your tongue into his slit. You trail your hands everywhere; you slide them up his thighs, across his hips, to his pecs to thumb over his nipples.
“Fuck,” he breathes, whispering your name reverently as you suck him harder.
You hum around him and he curses again, dropping to his elbow, hips shifting minutely upward into your mouth. Meeting his heavy-lidded gaze again, you cup his balls, softly applying pressure to them. He groans deep in his chest and falls completely on his back, legs spreading wider. It feels like the perfect opportunity.
Keeping your eyes on him, on how he's breathing heavier and squeezing his eyes shut, you let your fingers wander down to his taint, waiting for his reaction. All he does is let out a rumbling noise, so you bob your head a little faster and shift your fingers lower, to his crack. Cautiously, you press in to pet over his hole.
His eyes fly open then, glancing down at you with blown pupils and lips bitten red, cheeks much pinker than they were just a second ago.
“What–What are you doing?” he asks, voice gruff.
You lazily pull off his cock, swirling your tongue the whole way and making his lashes flutter, a moan punching out of him when you let go of him with an obscene pop. “I'm just curious,” you confess quietly, looking up at him innocently, stroking him at a leisurely pace.
He swallows roughly as he continues holding your stare. Your heart is racing, wondering if you've gone too far, if you've ruined everything.
“Okay,” he says, after a lengthy pause.
You sit up a little taller. “Really?” you ask, trying and failing to keep your eagerness out of your tone.
He nods jerkily. “Yeah, we can—you can try.”
You smile so wide your cheeks bunch up. It makes Jake huff a small laugh, some tension leaving him.
“Do you need, like…” He flushes again and waves his hand vaguely. “Lube?”
You feel warmth rush up to your own face, contemplating, but then you reach between your thighs to where you're throbbing and dripping. He sees your shoulder moving as you coat your fingers with your slick and mutters a heartfelt fuck under his breath.
“No,” you purr. “I’ve got it covered.”
You moan when you slip two of your fingers in your cunt to make sure they're as wet as they can be. Jake’s breathing picks up, watching your every move. He rises to his elbows again after you remove your fingers and bring them back to his hole, rubbing gentle circles around his rim. You can tell he's nervous, but he doesn't tell you to stop, so you unhurriedly begin to slip one finger inside him.
His brows furrow, lips parting as he exhales shakily at the new sensation. In case he's experiencing any discomfort, you take his cock back into your mouth, an act he vocally appreciates with a drawn out whine. As you’re sliding up and down the length of him, you carefully start thrusting your finger in and out of his hole. Jake lets out a noise you've never heard him make before.
“Shit,” he hisses, grunting and clenching his jaw.
You curl your finger, searching. When Jake jerks, moaning in surprise and shock, you know you've found his prostate and you hum, rubbing at that spot more.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck,” he chants, gritting his teeth and panting, his flush spreading down to his chest.
You keep pressure on his prostate while you suck him faster, your own need skyrocketing, wanting to see Jake come apart from your mouth and hands. He’s letting out nonstop moans and whines, hips kicking up, his hands flailing as he searches for purchase somewhere, anywhere. You can tell he's close, and after a second of contemplation, you pull your finger out and slowly press back in with two.
Jake shouts, thrusting hard into your mouth and half-heartedly apologizing, jaw going slack and eyes rolling back into his head when you rub insistently at his prostate. His thighs shake on either side of you, his stomach clenching and unclenching.
He’s fucking stunning.
“I–I think I’m—fuck—I’m coming,” he stutters, voice high and breathy and needy.
You reach up with your free hand to cup his balls again and he sobs, curling upward and gripping your hair harshly as his breath hitches in his throat. With a ragged groan, he comes, body jerking while you milk his cock and prostate. You moan as you swallow around him, squeezing your thighs together to try and appease the aching throb between them.
Letting out a sharp exhale, he drops onto his back. His legs, hips, and arms twitch uncontrollably as you work him through his orgasm, until he finally whimpers from oversensitivity. You pull off of him, kissing his tip as you remove your fingers from his hole.
“C’mere,” he instructs, urging you up on the bed with him.
He directs you to sit above his mouth, and before you lower yourself you take his glasses off and place them on the mattress next to you. Impatient, he yanks you down, sucking at your clit straight away and making you cry out, holding on to his hair. He uses his hands on your hips to guide you in a dirty grind, letting you ride his tongue.
“Jakey,” you whine, following his lead, watching him below you.
His eyes are blazing, eating you out enthusiastically. You're already so close and it doesn't take long for you to come, his tongue fucking into you and nose stimulating your clit from the messy way you're grinding down on his face. Your climax leaves you trembling, thighs shaky as you try to lift off of him and collapse beside him. Jake follows, swiping his tongue across your pussy, making you jerk and whimper weakly pushing at his head because you can't tell if you want to let him keep going or to stop.
When he manhandles you flat on your back and pushes your legs apart as far as they can go, his hands under your knees, the decision is made for you.
By the time he's done with you, his mouth and chin are shining with your wetness and you're pretty sure you've seen god. He kisses his way up your torso, dipping his tongue in your bellybutton and grinning at the way you writhe away from the ticklish feeling, places gentle kisses to your breasts, and finally kisses and licks up your neck to your mouth. You make out with him for a long while, until your taste is gone from his tongue and your jaw is sore.
All in all, you'd say your curiosity has paid off this time. You wonder what else you can get him to try…
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rwbie · 29 days ago
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Words || Iso x reader ||
Iso x reader - School AU
Posts on Iso have been very slow lately and I've been compelled to write one myself. I write to fulfill my fantasies and maybe yours too? I am an English learner so feel free to give feedback or shit on it. If you like it, please like the post so I know <3 ^^
- Not proofread
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"I love you..." The last thing you heard from Zhou Yu before you stupidly ran away.
It was a mistake to run away... Zhou Yu had confessed a few weeks ago, and you were left shocked. How could someone like him love you? In a result to that, when he did confess you panicked and ran away. You deeply regrated that, after time to yourself you realized contact with him had been cut off since that day. You tried texting him, but you were blocked. Going up to him? He wouldn't even look at you. Ouch...
You had a back up plan, writing a note and slipping it in his bag... hopefully he'd read it and give you a chance. While walking to the cafeteria to meet up with your friends you saw him leave his bag in the classroom, this was your chance. So you went in and left the note. This is what it read:
Li Zhou Yu, I'm sorry, I ran away after our most recent interaction. I hope this didn't rub off in the wrong way, I guess I'm just shocked. I wish I could talk to you again after that, but I lost touch with you, and you wouldn't even look at me in school. I'll be at the park tonight, usual place and time... will you be there?
And it ended with your signature... Once the note was dropped, all you had to do was wait until after school... But would he really go? So you went to the cafeteria to meet up with your friends and let the day pass by.
𓇢𓆸
Later that night, the sun had set and you sat on a swing that you would usually chill at. The moon was full and lit up the night beautifully, the stars barely making it through the light pollution. Checking your phone, it was getting late... Maybe he wasn't going to show up after all? Should you just leave...?
𓇢𓆸
Light footsteps were heard to your right. Surely it was him right? Your gaze fixated on the moon, the footsteps stopped followed by a heavy sigh. Definitely him... Hesitantly you look over to where the sound came from, and there he stood, his hands in the uniforms pocket, he said nothing. He leaned against the support of the swing.
"Zhou Yu...," You said quietly staring at his eyes that were perfectly captured by the moon.
He didn’t say anything at first he just continued to stare at you.. he was quiet, he was still upset. Then he spoke, "Why did you do that?"
"I'm sorry...," You paused and turned your head away breaking the stare. That's all you were able to say in the moment. Pathetically coming up with an excuse you still spoke quietly, "I panicked..."
He looked at you as you turned your head away from the eye contact. Letting out a scoff before he spoke again, his tone was a bit more serious this time, "Is this why you ran away and avoided everything I did? Were you just embarrassed after I told you how I felt?"
"No, no… I just needed some time to myself, I needed to process everything. I tried talking to you but it seemed like you didn't care, you just ignored me. You even blocked my number..."
"Because you ran away after I told you how I felt, and disappeared to who knows where, not speaking to me for days. You are really a jerk...," He said in a slightly rude tone, he was clearly annoyed.
"Sorry, I didn't want it to look like that, it's just..." Your hands slid down the chains of the swing, "Damn, I don't even know how to put it into words..." You mumbled to yourself and paused, having to put your thoughts into words. Something you do often, he knew that. You looked back at him.
"Zhou Yu... I do love you. I'm panicked. I'm just shocked how someone like you could love me...I don't understand why. What do you see in me? I- I'm sorry for running away. I'm such a coward..." She mumbled that last part, her eyes getting slightly watery.
As much as he was annoyed, he listened to what you had to say, looking into your now watery eyes. He sighed, "I love you because you always treat me tenderly. Every time I'm with you, I'm always very happy. I love the way you look. Every time I'm with you, I feel meaningful..."
He gently grabbed one of your hands.
Your gaze softened hearing what he said, you didn't expect him to actually respond to that question... you glanced at his hand that grabbed yours. You hated being so emotional. Yet again, he left you lost for words, but this time you wouldn't run away. Not again...
He held your hand tighter, he pulled you towards him. He put his other hand under your chin and made you look up to him..
"I know you feel shy easily…but I didn't know you could be so scared…"
He paused for a second, looking at your watery eyes..
"Are you really worried about why I like you…?"
Using your other hand you moved his away from your face, turning your head away again not sure if you could face him again before bursting into tears, "I-I just… I'm surprised, I believe you can find someone better than me…"
He watched as you turned your head, looking away.
He let out a scoff again, he firmly grabbed your chin and turned you to look back at him.
He pulled you even closer to him. You looked up at him.
"Stop worrying about me finding someone else, because I just want you, no one else, just you."
As he made you look at him again, you broke... Tears slowly flowing down your face, you muttered your words, "停止,停止……" (Stop, stop)
He saw as you began to cry... Seeing you cry made his heart ache, he had never seen you cry before... He wiped some of your tears away with his thumb, he then spoke in a gentle tone
"Don't cry... Don't cry..."
The last time he had seen you cry was in primary school over some stupid reason, but now is it still a stupid reason? Though your face was towards him, your eyes looked away not being able to meet his gaze.
He noticed that you still looked away…
He pulled you even closer to him, he moved your arms and wrapped them around his waist, so that your face was now pressed onto his chest. He pulled you up from the swing, pulling you into a hug. You mumbled to yourself as the tears still ran down your face, "I hate the way you make me feel…"
"Hey... don't say that."
He gently ran his fingers through your hair, he could hear you mumbling against his chest, he let you lean against him, he felt how tears were still streaming down your face on to his shirt yet, he held you tight...
He pulled away slightly so he could look at your face. He gently held your chin, tilting your head up, he looked down at you. Your face tear-stained. Your eyes were red and a bit puffy, you looked at him in the eyes this time. You spoke softly, "why do you make me feel like this…?"
That was something he couldn't answer, nor were you expecting one.
He decided to stay silent and comfort you, you needed it. As you looked up at him, he gently wiped the remaining tears on your cheeks. He could see how your eyes were red and a little puffy. He stayed quiet, as you spoke softly, he gently caressed your face. He knew you didn't expect an answer from him.... So he just stayed silent, letting you speak what was on your mind.
"Every time you come near me, I feel pain in my chest… and when you look at me, it speeds up. Every time I see you, I feel excited… but for me, this feeling is a bit scary…," You spoke in a soft tone, your voice slightly shaky, you looked at him with watery eyes.
He just stood there, listening to what you had to say, you always called him a good listener... as he continued caressing your face with his hand.
"我爱你..." You said quietly still looking at him. (I love you)
He felt and heard as you said those words to him. Seeing and hearing you say it to him, made his heart beat faster...
He gave you a gentle and warm smile, and he pulled you closer to him, he held the back of your head with his hand, he gently caressed you and pulled you into another tight hug..
He spoke in a soft and gentle tone "我也爱你…" (I love you too)
You held each other for a bit longer before you spoke up breaking the comforting silence, "So…what are we? What do you want to be?"
He held you tightly in his arms for a while longer, he then leaned back a bit. He looked down at you and he replied, "I want to be your boyfriend, if you'll let me be..."
You were stunned yet again, "Yes, yes, I'd love that…"
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lusc1nia · 2 years ago
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gift for @dustofthedailylife, event hosted by @2022gisecretsanta
okay so like have you ever felt so angry because i lost like ~10k worth of words because MY GOOGLE DOCUMENT GOT CORRUPTED? I HAD EVERYONE IN THEIR LIST WRITTEN ANd I AM SO ANGRY BECAUSE NOW ITS ONLY 1 CHARACTER *AND* LACKLUSTER and then you keep rewriting aND REWRITING BECAUSE YOU AREN't SATISFieD AND YOU're STILL NOT SATISFIED BUT IT's THE 29TH AND YOU FEEL BAD BECAUSE THE PERSON RECIEBVING THIS IS WoNDERING WHERE THEIR PRESENT IS AND AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHJHHH
if the person whose receiving the gift wants me to i'll rewrite ayato's and zhongli's parts in separate posts later on because boy they weren't as angsty as al-haitham's and i was trying to do a mix of fluff, angst w/ comfort, and angst no comfort
sorry if i'm rambling too much i'm just genuinely so mad at my pc and google docs
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wc: ~1.1k
Al-Haitham x Reader: Coward
only in Al-Haitham's perspective, reader makes a short appearance and is implied to be missing in action
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Al-Haitham is a coward.
The Scribe of the Akademiya is a coward.
The savior of Sumeru’s deity is a coward.
No matter where Al-Haitham is, or what he thinks, he’s a coward true and through. And as he stands in the Grand Bazaar’s stage, with his newfound ‘friends’ celebrating the reinstatement and the saving of Lesser Lord Kusanali as the archon of Sumeru, Haitham could only remember the expression on your face when you last saw him.
The traveler smiles, speaking in a feminine, child-like voice.
“Everyone, it’s me.”
A soft, adoring smile adorned the traveler’s facial features as she placed her hand over her heart.
Paimon shrieks, and immediately the Scribe begins to tune out the conversation.
“My, I didn’t expect to be having a conversation with the consciousness of Lesser Lord Kusnali in the Grand Bazaar,” He glances at Nilou expectantly, “How interesting. Was this also planned for the feast?”
Nilou shakes her hands in front of her face, replying to Al-Haitham, (who bitterly shakes his head) “No, no.. of course not!” She turns towards the traveler with hesitancy, “are you.. are you Lesser Lord Kusanali, then?”
Lumineー or Nahida, who's occupying the traveler’s body, giggles, “Hello, Nilou,” Nahida gives a short wave.
Taking a step back, Nilou gasps, “You.. you know me?!”
Al-Haitham turns away, tuning out the conversation slowly, but Cyno nudges his shoulder, “The least you could do is pay attention. It’s our archon for Celestia’s sake, show her some respect, Al-Haitham.”
Opting to not respond, Al-Haitham silently glances at Cyno, and Cyno returns the glare.
Dehya stares at them with a pensive look on her face, mouthing, “Not the time for this.”
Cyno relents, breaking the eye-contact between them, “No need to be so ceremonious, Lesser Lord Kusanali, it has always been my duty to protect you.”
Al-Haitham scoffs, “That’s how the relationship between the Akademiya and our Dendro Archon should be like,” Remaining with a cold poker face, Haitham takes a jab at Cyno, “but we just did what was necessary to set things up on the right path.”
Dehya ignores Al-Haitham’s jab at Cyno, and adds on to Cyno’s sentence, “You’re an Archon, but you act so humble. You really don’t need to be..”
Dehya’s words mash together in a distorted way as Al-Haitham drives his focus away from the conversation at hand. Even when faced by a deity, he's still focused on you, and you alone.
No matter what he’s done or what he’ll do, he won’t ever escape your grasp, the hand that’s holding him by the neck and cornering him into a loss. Something the Scribe doesn’t experience daily.
He remembers a time late after everyone had finished with the graduation ceremonies, where everyone went home, rushing to find a position in the Akademiya, or maybe still studying late at night in the archives of the House of Daena.
Al-Haitham remembers finding you sleeping with obvious eyebags under your eyes, and he felt sympathy for you.
How many nights have you spent like this? He wondered. How many times have you fallen asleep, your brain calling to the comforts of sleep? The freshly graduated Al-Haitham looks down at you with (once again) sympathy.
Sure, he was your past so-called academic rival, just in different fields, but he realised at that moment when you both argued about the morals of the Akademiya, that you both were kindred spirits.
You both took different paths, but arrived at the same solutions. While he believes that humans are naturally bad, and choose to do good things to better mankind, you believe that all humans were born kind, but choose to do the wrong things.
“Scribe, and what makes you say that? Why are you commenting on moral philosophy when you’re a Haravatat graduate?”
Al-Haitham rubs his temples furiously, “Suddenly, I’m not allowed to have opinions anymore, as dictated by you, my supposed ‘equal’.”
You shook your head in discontentment, “Maybe, just maybe, Scribe, you should try to stay in your own lane, and not question the ethics and morals of the Akademiya,” you say, tucking your hair into your ear, “I represent the Akademiya, I reinforce the ethics and morals of the Akademiya. You just have to sit pretty and write down the important things for archon’s sake, I swear, you truly are impossible..”
Al-Haitham shakes his head, mocking you in that subtle way that he always did, “You expect me to back down, and bend over for the Akademiya,” His lips previously in a thin line were now turned downwards. Al-Haitham stares at you with amusement pooling in his eyes, and he folds his arms in that weird way he had always done.
“You’re.. you're kidding me. Right?” You stare at him, a bewildered look in your eyes, “you certainly can’t be serious.. A high ranking position at the Akademiya, who doesn’t share the same morals as the Akademiya for Greater Lord ... sake! Next thing you’re going to tell me is that you have the utmost respect for Lesser Lord Kusanali!”
Closing his eyes, Al-Haitham curtly replies, “You’re not wrong.”
At this point, Al-Haitham can imagine that you were pulling your hair out with a furious look in your eyes. That’s how it’s always been, hasn’t it?
But he opens his eyes, just to see you staring blankly, without reason and without a shine in your eyes.
His eyes narrow in on yours, and you simply shake your head, “I should’ve expected someone like you to defy the Akademiya,” you said, a deflated tone in your voice, “maybe you are just better off as a scribe, huh..”
Al-Haitham watches you walk away, he was ultimately the victor of this, ‘pleasant’, conversation, but he certainly didn’t feel like one.
Intrusive thoughts echoed throughout his head as he walks away from the House of Daena:
Coward. Why was it that you always needed to fight [Name]? They were like you, stubborn, but more emotional. You should have just backed down for once. You’re such a cowardー remember those roommate posters you put up after graduation? It had to have been for [Name], but you got cold feet, didn’t you. You had to have picked Kaveh, just because you didn’t want to see [Name] walking around your house, you would’ve caught feelings, huh? You already caught them. So what was the point, Scribe?
Al-Haitham is snapped out of his thoughts of you when the traveler approaches him after the feast.
“Oh? What do you need me for, Traveler?”
But in the end, Al-Haitham is still a coward. He is many things, but he is a coward, true and through.
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callowaysinks · 3 months ago
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for sale: twink that writes you things
I love meeting new people and writing their commissions. I hate landlords. I will provide two simple reasons why when I write you something, it's both safer, more compassionate, and imminently less intimidating than tier-based commissions for a first-timer in TWO bullets (the same number of bullets that were fired into the trunk of my 2003 toyota prius last Wednesday).
You can pay me, a friendly twink, roughly $30 USD to write you a story that you really want written. Word counts may vary, but they won't be less than 7,500, and imporantly, they will be complete! I will put time and energy into telling a good story.
It fights landlords (mine) and their dark sorcery (the rent)
Maybe you're going, oh god, that's so embarrasing. I can't imagine paying a stranger to write something in my head. I've never done that! But here! Bang! Just like last Wednesday, one more bullet!
I am a twink from south florida. nothing you can say or do will approach, even fractionally, the fear I metabolize every time I open grindr. My body has kept the score and it has won. Is your story idea going to force me at gunpoint into the trunk of my own 2003 toyota prius? Then stop being a coward and pay the twink
Additionally:
I am a pathetic gay man in his midtwenties. If you're requesting yaoi, this is basically as close as you can get to buying organic. Archive of Our Own is but Plato's Cave and I am the shadowmaster. The words on that screen are real and I have lived them. I and I alone posess arcane boykissing knowledge and I do not intend to use it responsibly.
Okay! Reading comprehension check! $30 for me to tell your story between 7,500 - 10,000 words, you don't pay until you have the comission in your hands :) friendly neighborhood twink, here to make your stories actually happen in a way that is relational, fun, secure, and not weird or transactional.
DM me or email [email protected] ! I am chronically online and should respond pretty quickly even late at night or if this is an old post.
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theearlgreymage · 1 year ago
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It is yet another Six Sentence Sunday, and I have only two more Sunday's until break. The freedom is close. I can taste it.
Thankfully, these last two weeks should be a breeze and I can get back in a more regular groove with writing.
Maybe.
Here's hoping at least.
Hello to the wonderful @artsyunderstudy @nausikaaa @aristocratic-otter @confused-bi-queer @rimeswithpurple and @ic3-que3n for tagging me despite my lack of posting lately. You are all amazing <3
Despite my quietness, I have been tapping away at a couple of different projects. So, enjoy six series of six sentences --
COBB Project #1
She’s been making these excursions on her own every few months. Claiming them to be for her research, but I followed her last time. I saw the supplies she took, and didn’t bring back with her. We were outside Bristol when I lost track of her. Somehow she managed to lose all her supplies and beat me back to Watford.  There’s no way she managed that on her own.  But until she’s willing to admit the truth to me, I’m on my own with finding Simon.
COBB Project #2
Coward.  It’s the last word I’ll hear from him for a while as I step into the warm sunshine. While he can technically reach me beyond the Underworld, it is a lot harder for him to do. From what I can tell, it’s not worth the effort.  Not caring whether the chlamys around my shoulder gets dirty, I collapse onto my back into the grass. Letting the sun warm my chilled skin. 
A Gift for Someone
Nothing to see here. I wonder how many other students at Watford have used this spell for elicit sexual acts. How many students have had their trousers pulled down in the middle of the Great Lawn with none of us being the wiser? Of course, this isn't the Great Lawn - it's the back table in Astronomy that I'm crouched beneath. And it's not just any student who's trousers I'm pulling down eagerly. They're Simon Snow's trousers.
Another Gift for Someone
The snap of leather against leather sends a chill down my spine. I do my best to conceal it. The click of heeled boots on the wooden floor let me know that he's walking towards me, and still I fight the urge to shiver in anticipation. But when I feel the soft brush of the collar and warm press of fingers on my throat, I can't help but shudder. "Are you going to be good for me tonight?"
Something I'm working on in secret that may or may not see the light of day
Even if I’d come to accept myself more - feel more comfortable as my own individual person - I was still hung-up on the idea of having children that weren’t mine. It became an even bigger issue after Simon admitted to wanting a child. My mind became full of the impossible; of a small child with golden skin, freckles, dark hair, curls, and light colored eyes.  We thought it impossible, and set the topic off to the side. There were plenty of other things for us to worry over. My graduation and the wedding being the top two items on the list.
Chapter 4 of Infinity in Your Chest Pocket
This time, when I spot the movement out of the bedroom window I don't hesitate to leave the room. Fuck these wraiths. I'm not spending another night alone in a room with them. Baz can complain about me following him into the woods all he wants. It's not like he's doing anything all that secretive. We both know that I know that he's a vampire - one that has apparently never tasted human blood.
Tags and Hello's to Everyone under the Cut. Please know that I am eternally excited over everyone's projects and cannot get enough of the talent you all have. Also, I officially made a gosh darn spreadsheet to keep track of people for tagging!
@aroace-genderfluid-sheep @bazzybelle @bookish-bogwitch @buffy @captain-aralias @chen-chen-chen-again-chen @cutestkilla @ebbpettier @erzbethluna @facewithoutheart @fatalfangirl @foolofabookwyrm-activated @gekkoinapeartree @henreyettah @hushed-chorus @ivelovedhimthroughworse @ileadacharmedlife @ionlydrinkhotwater @j-nipper-95 @johnwgrey @krisrix @larkral @letraspal @martsonmars @moodandmist @mostlymaudlin @onepintobean @palimpsessed @prettylightsbigcity @raenestee @shrekgogurt @skeedelvee @stardustasincocaine @stitchyqueer @tea-brigade @theimpossibledemon @thewholelemon @upuntil6am @wellbelesbian @whogaveyoupermission @yellobb @you-remind-me-of-the-babe
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aaronstveit · 6 months ago
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I saw you talking about the gifs you were excited to make because they’d make you happy and I can def relate to knowing only a couple of people will be interested/will like my creations and yet that won’t stop me from creating them because I want to see that idea become something *concrete*. It is pretty lonely, though. Like, sometimes I trick myself into thinking I won’t care nobody will like something I’ve made and then it happens and it really gets to me. Especially because I wish I could share it with someone. The enthusiasm, my creative process, etc.
My hiperfixation has tired the friends of mine who know about it, since I’ve had the same one for years. So it’s not new to me, I struggle to accept this lonely/rejecting feeling, but I accept it (most of the time).
What’s been making me really sad lately though is that whenever I create something to gift to someone, their reaction to it is very… underwhelming. I feel like I see in my art something others don’t see. I mean, maybe my drawings aren’t actually good and my stories aren’t really moving to others? Maybe I’m only good at it in my head, and whenever I want to surprise someone with a portrait or comment with them about fics I’ve been working on and stories I wish they’d like, I get to see what I make through someone else’s eyes and… it happened this week again, twice, and it devastated me. Because it’s not the same person, a lot of people have reacted the same way. So I’m always putting my heart into these creations and giving people pieces of my soul for them to look at it and not say anything in return. To treat it like it’s nothing, like it doesn’t mean anything to them. To not even tell me if they’ve read what I wrote, let alone talk to me about it. It’s like my best is not only not enough, it’s less than ordinary to those around me.
I don’t know how to live with this feeling, I know you’re very kind and pretty good at giving advice so I wanted to ask your opinion, or what would you do if you were in my shoes?
Sending you love xxx
hi anon, first of all i'm sorry for the late answer, i meant to reply last night but i'm sick right now and getting my brain to put words in a functional order is. a task.
i am really sorry that you have those experiences :( sharing your art with someone is one of the most intimate and personal experiences you can share with a person and when you're just sort of written off, that is genuinely one of the worst feelings in the world. and it's so natural to want to share your art with others, even if you made it for an audience of one (yourself). art is an extension of who we are. of course we want others to see it and to love it.
i want you to know that your art is good. i don't have to see it to know that. your art is good just by definition of being yours. your art is something that wasn't in the world and now it is, because of you and you only. that is amazing! you created something that only you are capable of, and that is nothing less than a miracle.
i wish that your friends would tell you all of this and would appreciate your art. you deserve friends who love the things you make, who get excited about them, who support your art and all your ideas. i hate that they make you think that you and the things you create aren't enough. you & your art will always be enough, even if some people can't see that.
i hope you can find a community that appreciates you & your art and makes you feel extraordinary, because that's what you are. this is some pretty hilarious advice coming from me, the world's first and foremost discord coward, but i really recommend finding or creating a discord server for your fandom. post about it on tumblr, invite people who seem interested, and really try to make it an environment where everyone feels good sharing their art & engaging with each other's.
i wish i could offer you better advice. you really, really deserve to be able to share your work with people who are just as excited about it as you are, even more. you deserve better friends than people who make you question if the things you make are even good. and you deserve people who love and appreciate and treasure the art that you make for them. you put your heart and soul into it, and you deserve the same energy back. i'm sending you lots and lots of love, i hope your experiences get better ♡ you are always welcome to come talk to me about your art and your hyperfixations, even if we don't share the fandom! 🫶🏻
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crowned-peony · 2 years ago
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I'm just posting it here @the-masked-ram♡
Maybe in another lifetime....
Tw: Angst no comfort? Implied emotional cheating?
Word count: 806
Notes: No pronouns mentioned for the reader. Just basically had idea of what if you met your soulmate and realized a while later that you aren't meant to be and found someone that gives you that same feeling you felt before
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His soft calm breathing echoes through the room. Another night of staying up and hoping that things will get better. There was no argument for the last few days but the silence is more brutal. Cuts deeper into the soul. At least the arguments are filled with emotion, better than this numbing coldness. No sweet words, no gentle touches, not even a shared look anymore.
They say "if you love something let it go" but what if you love something so much that you hold on to the feelings that once were. You hold onto the memories of your first date. How nervous you both were but so happy to hold hands and the flustered feelings of the first kiss. The sweet words whispered, all the 'I love yous and you are my world', the teasing and laughter. Cuddles and hugs after a long day. Sharing stories and smiling all night long. Friends saying "you both are too cute" "I wish for what you both have" " you make me believe in love". Yet here you are now. Laying awake in bed. Clock says it's 3 am. Your thoughts blur together and your heart is trying to find something to keep holding on to, something to say this is all worth it. The memories feel like they belong to someone else, that they happened a lifetime ago.
Fighting the tears that are screaming to escape you get out of bed and quietly make your way to your living room. The pictures of you both are lightly glowing in the moonlight and haunting you. What would you do to be able to slip back into that happiness you once were surrounded by. What went wrong? What moment did love turn to coldness? Did happiness turn to resentment? That your home turned into a prison. Grabbing one of the pillows on the couch you hold it while curling up into a ball and cry. Letting the tears just spill out while trying so hard to get all the hurt to follow as well. How many more nights of this until you just give in and call it quits? How many more nights of crying before you just pack up and try finding happiness again?
Maybe tomorrow will be better, when you know that it will be a copy of today. You will cry until you're tired, make your way to bed and fall asleep due to exhaustion, wake up and he will be gone. No sign that he was even there. No cute notes or packed lunch, no coffee waiting for you and a text that says 'Hi angel, enjoy the coffee and have a wonderful day. See you at home♡'. Just silence. Swallowing the bitter truth of the relationship is over just neither of you want to admit such defeat. Get ready for work and try not to be happy about being there. Try and not feel like the world is better at work because of Him. Him that makes you laugh and smile. Him that lightens up the room cause his presence is so bright. Him that remembers your favorite flower, cause he got you a single one on your birthday. That asks you about the new show you are watching. That he loved the book recommendations and loved to talk about it. He spends his lunch break with you so you won't eat alone and walks you to your car after work. That tells you to be safe and have a sweet night. Him that sends you home when it's getting late. Shows up early and has something for you to eat and a new hand drawn emoji on the note. Send you work emails with silly videos to make you laugh. He made you believe in love again.
But how can you think about such a sweet feeling when you are nothing but a coward that can't cut the current tie. Can't cut it because the universe played some sort of sick joke and said your current relationship is one you destined with. That's tied you to him for the end of your life because of a stupid mark. Why couldn't you just been born without one. Cause maybe then you wouldn't be so unhappy. Stuck in a relationship going nowhere cause you were told "this is the one, this is your forever". Just a few more months, you can hold that long and just get the soul mark removed and start a new life. By then maybe you will have courage to tell him how you feel and ask him if the offer for coffee I still available and maybe your life will once again be filled with color and happiness. Not be so cold and silent. Maybe just a bit more. It be all okay, just need to hold on a bit more.
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foxoftheninetails · 1 year ago
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Anxiety attacks dont make any fucking sense. Usually I know why I'm having one, but never see them coming.
This time I could feel it coming on, for over an hour. I thought having music would make the difference, but its not my stim music, so of course it wouldn't work. But I dont know why. Its not money related, I dont feel like my friends hate me.
I'm just scared. And tender, if that makes sense.
I dont understand all of this, as is blatantly clear by my saying "I dont get it" in every autism/anxiety/panic attack related post I've made in the last 6 months. Does anyone? Are we supposed to analyze this and apply logic to an illogical situation and...reverse engineer it?
Because I can't fucking think straight to save my life right now. I had enough presence to plug in my phone and dig out my ear buds.
I think fondly of the days when I would feel anxious and just push it down. Then get a migraine a day or two later.
The common trigger (as unoriginal as it is) seems to be staying up too late. And here I am tapping on my phone instead of trying to sleep. But is there any point in laying in my bed next to my partner and shaking, sighing, and twitching? Why disturb her? Even though I feel guilty on the nights I dont go to bed.
I might pass out in 10 more minutes, or lay in bed until day. How did I get here? I went from calm, confident and capable to a mess practically overnight.
I masked so hard I didnt know I was. I didnt know I was suppressing everything, I didnt know I was making myself sick. I thought I was feeling things in the moment and moving on.
Then seemingly overnight (maybe a couple of weeks, it was disturbingly quick) I didnt take my armor off in stages, I ripped it all down to nothing. I have no protections: anxiety attacks in the grocery store, an inability to move some mornings, a crushing weight on my chest, a racing heart out of nowhere. Right now I'm shaking so badly autocorrect is doing most of the work.
There wasnt any point to this. Not really. No one who might read this hasnt already gone through it 1000 times. This is old hat, not that it diminishes the severity.
On a positive note, they do seem to be coming less frequently. I'll take it, its a damn sight better than 5 or 6 a day, laying on my floor gasping for hours.
Same rules as always: scroll by if you want. I dont ask anything of anyone, even to read it. Not like I'm comfortable enough to actually say anything here. This is all vagaries, which makes me mad at myself. I need to be hoenst with myseld and those around me, and in some instances I just can't. Because I am a coward and I'm afraid of how people react.
This is just making me spiral, and I just want to send it before I delete it.
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goldrushenthusiast · 1 year ago
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there come a time when you must realize not everything in the world needs to or ought to be associated or made about taylor swift and this is one of those times. i’m sorry but in what way is barbie and ken dear john? respectfully reflect a bit (not about taylor but on you without taylorswift associations) because you’re losing touch
Jesus Christ why is this so serious.
Anywho I am referring to them in the new Barbie movie- so many lyrics relate to their relationship in it. I tagged that post the Barbie movie lmao.
“Long were the nights when my days once revolved around you” screams Ken when he was in love with Barbie in the beginning. How sad he would be without Barbie.
“You paint me a blue sky and go back to turn it to rain” is Ken literally taking over the Dreamhouse, something he was so desperate to be invited to.
“The girl in the dress cried the whole way home” Ken literally made Barbie cry and feel like she wasn’t pretty or even anything.
“Well maybe it’s me and my blind optimism to blame” Barbie was sooo excited to meet Sasha, her girl, and she was so hopeful for how everyone would greet her in the real world. She had blind optimism and it turned into something terrible for her.
“And you’ll add my name to your long list of traitors who don’t understand” is Barbie to Ken, when he betrays her but he feels like she’s the one who had already betrayed him (by not being in love with him, he feels it’s a betrayal)
“You’re an expert at sorry and keeping lines blurry�� ok so Ken never apologized for taking everything from Barbie and changing Barbie forever. She had to comfort HIM at the end of the movie even though he did objectively worse to her.
“All the girls you’ve run dry have tired, lifeless eyes because you burnt them out” is just relating to the movie in general and how women are treated in the workplace.
“But I took your matches before fire could catch me so don’t look now. I’m shining like fireworks over your sad empty town.” Is Barbie to Ken when she took Patriarchy from him and took her life back and debrainwashed all the Barbies before it was too late.
Anywho chill, if you have such a problem with me liking/relating things to Taylor Swift then get off my page. Like it’s genuinely none of your buisness? Why does it matter to you if I relate the Barbie movie to dear John?
Like you’re not my therapist so fuck off with your reflection bit and passive aggressive undertones, and maybe think about why you’re so upset I related a song to a Barbie movie when so much of my page(s) is dedicated to looking into the deeper meaning of things and expanding on stuff.
Also we’re not in a quest in a fantasy land, so drop the “there come a time” line 😭. I’m perfectly happy finding random things to relate to Taylor, and if annoys you, gtfo or block me. Stop trying to hate on everything, and if you’re going to, at least don’t be a coward about it and turn off anonymous lmao.
Plus I post about many things not taylor swift related, so it isn’t even everything. Just one movie. Lol.
Also, there’s one note on that post. It’s pretty fucking obvious who you are, Grace.
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happilylovingchaos · 10 months ago
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Post-ep Thoughts: Last week was… let’s say, could have been better if I hadn’t been a coward. But hey, silver lining: with help from this illustrator Chika Miyata Sensei, a few ref pics and this ep, I’m starting to practice doodles again! Last week:
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Blake Family Mystery:
I think so far, Liv has been acting like she’s in an independent art house mystery movie and not a procedural drama. Maybe that could be one way of looking at how stilted some people consider her acting to be? But on that note, I think her more emotional scenes as she found Iris’ belongings in the truck, then listened to her 9-1-1 calls… they all hurt to watch. And Lyndsy indeed stole the show! Side note, I am a little wary about portrayals of mental ailments (specially knowing what we know now about the first 4 eps in season 4), so I kinda refrain from commenting about the manifesting schizophrenic signs. But, all in all, this was the best part of the mystery arc. (Also, “Michelle ‘Blue Eyes’ Blake”… “Sad Eyes”… I might have aggressively HM’d in the episode 7 discussion comments about that connection. But the last scene? That was why.)
Buttercup Arc:
I feel for big fluffy dogs living in tropics/ warm inland environments. It’s really easy for them to get dehydrated, and that feeling rubbed off from my mom— Hawai’i in summer plus a mountain dog equals potential hyperthermia. But undeniably, Buttercup is officially now the goodest boy in the 126! And he definitely sensed that TK needed a hug deep down— maybe that, and he shared Owen’s smell. Might just be me, though. (“This hoomie smells like my new master but sadder. I want to be your friend because I love you and want to comfort you 😍😛”)
And yeah. TK, eventually, you will also be headcanonned as similar to your new canine friend— innately cute, little-kid-at-heart, mischievous, and so. So. Assertively. Compassionate. Things and the state of them are perpetually impermanent, and that’s always hard to relearn. (But Owen, come on. You didn’t realize TK might have still been processing the cancer bombshell? Did you see how fast he deflated when you brought up Buttercup’s same cancer!)
Featured calls: The call with Trevor, in hindsight… I’m not sure how much I have to say w/o being armchair psychiatrist again, but I feel the character was in the middle of emotional decompensation in the days following his mother’s death. Michelle and her team did what they could
With Bruce and Amy and the elderly family… even if it was a little contrived, I felt for both parties. I think ultimately, accountability doesn’t fully matter; that kid who shot TK after Bruce was talked down and out of the house does have some responsibility for what he did, but that was a scary situation— he and his grandparents couldn’t have known they weren’t the first people to live in this house. Bruce’s dementia also brought to mind the Huntington’s plot point, so… make of that what you will. I just thought it was a bit of a sad possible call forward.
TSP:
General timeline: Late May-early June 2019: Owen and oncologist —> adopting Buttercup (I think this takes, like… this appointment could have been back in the middle of February or March 2019. Owen needed to have let Buttercup be processed, given a clean-ish bill of health to bring home, and let the dog get used to one place at a time, from the adoption center to the firehouse; by this ep Buttercup is cleared to go?) —> dog shenanigans (1-2 days) —> mistaken identities and TK’s shooting —> coma #1 or 2 (considering next eps, maybe a week and a half if we’re suspending some disbelief)
Michelle’s timeline: same months. If it’s a fast-tracked investigation of the truck, possibly half of that same week in late May 2019 (2-4 days) —> phone call listenings (day after) —> “American psycho call 1” —> visiting mama Blake (same night) —> mistaken identities and TK’s shooting (same night) —> sanctuary hearts reveal (same night. Ooof.)
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Week Four: 1x07: Bum Steer / 1x08: Monster Inside
More info about how you can participate
Remember to mention us or tag 911 lone star rewatch 2024 in your posts!
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seafoam-taide · 2 years ago
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when i cant say "i love you" so i just say i love the things you do
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wonderlandleighleigh · 2 years ago
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Midge seeing her Show Corsets for the first time post dry clean - blue room
When she gets the dry cleaning home, she goes about getting everything put away, but pauses upon stumbling her black show corset, touching the lace gingerly and fretting a little.
Pristine now, as if it had never spent any time at all on the floor of Lenny's very blue hotel room. As if that never happened at all.
She thinks seriously about throwing it away, but settles for stuffing it into the back of her lingerie drawer where she can't see it. She has other show corsets, after all. None that have been unhooked by those very nimble fingers.
It wouldn't be so bad if he hadn't completely fallen off the face of the earth after Carnegie Hall. Even if just to tell her he never wants to see her again.
But this deep, heavy silence has settled in her chest, seemingly slowing her down with heartache.
Which sounds melodramatic to be sure, but it's no less true.
She takes a breath and goes about putting everything else away. Leaving a couple of her father's suits in her parents' room.
She makes dinner, feeding the kids. Making sure her parents eat during their busy days, before getting dressed for a gig.
Deep green corset under her black dress tonight. She smooths out the skirt, satisfied with how she looks, and tries not to think about the other one. tries to get on with things. Succeeds, mostly.
Her gig goes well. Susie is there. She looks happy, and Midge feels satisfied with sticking the landing on it. They grab a drink and Susie glances at her.
Midge had come clean to her friend and manager over a bottle of whiskey over Christmas. About hiding, being afraid to fail. About Lenny. It had felt so good to be honest with her. To try and get their friendship and partnership back onto an even keel.
"Still no word?" Susie asks cautiously.
"No word," Midge confirms. "It's okay, Susie. Really. It's not like he owes me anything."
"He fucked you and then disappeared off the face of the fucking earth," Susie snaps. "If he were actually your friend, he'd actually talking to you. Not hide like a dumbest coward on the planet."
"I can't control what he does," Midge shrugs. "And I don't want to. I don't want to fix him, or change him. Lenny is who Lenny is, and he's going to keep being that person. The best thing I can do is accept it and move on."
Susie sighs heavily and orders them both another drink, and by the time they're ready to leave, they're both completely shitfaced.
Midge is less drunk, somehow, and hails Susie a cab, paying in advance to take her friend home, before waiting for the next cab.
"Long night?" a familiar voice asks from next to her, and when she turns, stumbling a little, Lenny is standing there, reaching out quickly to catch her elbow, keeping her from hitting the pavement.
"Oh! You're here!"
"I am," he grins sheepishly. "You're a little drunk."
"Maybe," she says petulantly. "It's possible I finished my set and drowned a few sorrows in a few martinis too many."
He nods, taking in her appearance without responding.
"Anyways. I was just about to hail a cab to go home," she tells him. "It's late. There are kids at home. You know the drill. You have a kid, too, so."
"Yes, I do," he nods. "Midge-"
"Do you want my corset?" she blurts out.
"I'm sorry?" he blinks.
"Not the one I'm wearing," she clarifies, teetering a little, his warm hand still on her elbow. "I need that one. The black one. The show corset. Do you want it?"
"I-"
"I'm not going to wear it again," she tells him. "I thought maybe you'd like it. As a keepsake. Or something. Or maybe you want to forget. That was presumptuous to think you'd actually want to remember. Anyways, you probably have a place to be, so-"
"Midge."
She stops talking, looking up into his face, and she can't really read his expression between the dim streetlights and her hazy drunkenness. "Right. I should just go home." She raises a hand, even though there isn't a cab in sight.
He reaches up gently, his hand circling her wrist to lower her arm. "How about we get some coffee?" he asks. "My treat?"
"Oh, I exist again? that's nice," she tells him with a giggle. "I like existing."
"Believe me, you've existed," he assures her, grinning at her a little. "In so many ways, Midge."
She takes a breath, looking into his eyes. "Fine. Coffee. But you're paying."
"Yes, I said that already."
"Fine," she says, crossing her arms.
He sighs and offers her an arm, which she waits a moment, before taking.
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psychovigilantewrites · 3 years ago
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Stay Away
Pairing: Reader/Jason Todd
Genre: Smut
TW: AGE GAP!! PSEUDO-INCEST! PLEASE READ SUMMARY, IVE RECEIVED LOTS OF CRITICISMS FOR THIS FIC SOOOO 
Summary: THIS IS A REPOST SINCE TUMBLR TOOK IT DOWN DUE TO POSSIBLE REPORTS LOLOL 
This fic is about a young Robin!Reader with a much older Jason. Mentions of past sexual abuse. This started out as a drabble lol, I got carried away. Anyway, Hope you enjoy! I love reading comments, so don't be shy!
Edit: Due to this fic being my only controversial one, I’d like to update the warnings by giving a brief description of what happens. Reader is adopted by Bruce at 14, she has a small innocent crush on Jason that isn’t explored until she is older (Jason has ZERO feelings for her at this stage because SHE IS JUST A KID HERE). At 16, she becomes more aggressive in flirting with Jason. At 17 (Gotham’s legal age of consent- I based this on New York’s age of consent), she has oral sex with Jason. At 18, they have sex (Jason is 27).
I wrote this a while back, and now that I’ve learned a few things along the way, I realise that a sexual relationship between a 27 year old and an 18 year old is still highly problematic- even though legal. I do not condone these actions in real life, and I doubt Jason would as well. This is purely fictional, an outlet for my fantasies when I was younger. I still do not believe in creative censorship and I want people to enjoy this fic even if it has no place in the real world. We are all allowed to escape into fiction and our own fantasy and enjoy them privately without guilt. 
“And this is Jason,” Bruce introduced you to him.
Another one?, Jason thought, though he felt slightly guilty for thinking it. He had many problems with Bruce, but deep down he knew that Bruce adopted all of them out of kindness and good intentions.
“Hey,” he grunted, holding out his hand.
You just looked at him with big, frightful eyes, still sticking close to Bruce’s side. You looked young. You couldn’t have been older than fourteen. Your hair was cropped messily short, and it made you look almost like a young boy.
Jason raised an eyebrow and dropped his hand when you didn’t take it.
“Who’s he?” you whispered to Bruce with a soft voice that the average person wouldn’t have been able to hear.
“He, well,” Bruce hesitated, “He’s Red Hood.”
Jason’s eyebrows shot up.
“I decided to tell her everything,” Bruce explained to Jason, “So she can make an informed choice since young.”
“When you’re that young,” Jason glanced at you then back to Bruce, “Anything would sound cool. Even something dangerous that will rob you of your childhood. It’s not an informed choice, you’re basically dangling a cookie in front of her.”
“I’m not young,” you squeaked, “You’re just old.”
Jason scoffed at that.
Though you had voiced out your comeback, you were still shaking in nervousness, refusing to meet his eye.
Jason couldn’t blame you for that. He knew how his eyes looked.
“All of you were younger than her when you chose this life,” Bruce said softly.
“Did we really choose, Bruce?” he argued back.
“I’m not encouraging her,” he defended, “In fact, I’m doing the exact opposite. This time, I’m telling her the truth and nothing but the truth. The good, and the ugly.”
Jason saw how you didn’t like the way the conversation was going, talking about you as if you weren’t there. You had a deep frown on your face that made you look older than you were, but also, paradoxically, a cute pout that brought out the child in you.
“Whatever,” he finally shrugged, “Your kid. As if any of us had a say in anything anyway. If this was the only reason why you asked me to come here, I’ll be leaving.”
He turned to leave the manor, to go back to his safe house.
“Good riddance, old man!” you called out after him in a shaky voice.
Jason looked back and raised an eyebrow. You immediately blushed and avoided his eyes. In the back of his head, he thought about how he could recognize your accent anywhere.
***
The next time Jason visited the manor, which was about two months after the initial introduction, he found Bruce training you basic self-defense in the Cave.
Your hair had grown slightly, and you probably fixed the cut to suit your features better.
“What happened to being discouraging?” he said out loud.
You jumped at his voice, but Bruce looked at Jason knowingly.
“It’s just self-defense,” Bruce explained, “Useful regardless of Robin or not. She’s a fast learner.”
Jason saw how your face lit up at his praise.
Great, he thought. You weren’t even Robin yet and you already got that Robin complex every one of them seemed to have had.
The constant need for praise and emotional connection from Bruce, as well as a sense of delusional idolization of the man who adopted all of you.
“Where’s Grayson?” he huffed.
“Right here, Jay,” Dick’s warm and bright voice came from behind. Jason resisted the urge to jump just like you did.
Dick was already in his Nightwing costume, and walked towards you.
“Hey little sis!” he greeted, arms open. You flung yourself at him for a hug.
Jason rolled his eyes.
“Don’t the two of you live here?” he scoffed.
“Just because you’re emotionally constipated doesn’t mean the rest of us are,” you shot at him.
Jason smirked. You were feisty, yet still wary of him.
He found that adorable.
“She’s right,” Dick chuckled, “You wanted to see me, Jay?”
“Later,” he mumbled, and changed into his alter ego.
Once Jason and Dick were alone on patrol, he brought it up.
“Don’t you disagree with this?”
“With what?”
“Her,” he said, “Or more specifically, him bringing her into all of this.”
“I did at first,” Dick frowned, “But you’ve only met her once, Jay. You don’t live with her. She’s been through a lot, and her being Robin, well, I think it’d be good for her.”
Jason felt his chest tightening. Bruce had always used the excuse that he made all of them into Robin to help channel their emotions into doing good, to prevent them from falling into darkness.
Yet, Jason still did. And he fell right into an abyssal void that he was still trying to get out of.
“Maybe,” Dick continued, “You should get to know her. You’ll see what I’m talking about, and what Bruce sees in her. Tim disagreed at first as well, but after a while, even he warmed up to the idea.”
He frowned at Dick, and then looked away, sighing.
“Whatever.”
***
A month later, Jason had agreed to meet Dick and Tim at a diner.
The food wasn’t that good, and the service average, but it held many memories for him. Dick used to take him there after patrol when he was still Robin. When he went rogue, Dick had brought Tim there. Post-rogue, all three of them would meet up.
He was early, because he was closer. He waited about ten minutes before he saw Tim walking through the door, with Dick behind him. Following Dick, he saw you.
He frowned.
He supposed that he had to get used to you being around, since you were already in the picture.
He didn’t know why he felt like distancing himself from you. With Tim, he had a good reason. A personal reason that he had moved on from.
But you? He had no reason to push you away. Though, Jason had the tendency to push everyone away.
Dick took a seat next to Jason at the booth, and across from him were Tim and you. You were dressed simply in an oversized hoodie he recognized belonged to Dick. It made you seem smaller and younger than you really were. Your hair was in a short bob now. So you were growing it out after all.
Fine. He decided to give you a chance. He had been unfair to you, after all.
“Isn’t a bit too late for you to be out, kid?” he poked at you, “Don’t you have school tomorrow?”
“Fuck you, you colossal freak of nature,” you cussed at him.
Jason was taken aback.
And then he started laughing out loud.
You weren’t so bad after all. The shyness and wariness that you displayed the earlier times almost all gone, and then there was that familiar accent that he somehow felt at ease listening to.
Dick let out a loud groan.
“You owe me twenty,” Tim suddenly said to Dick.
“Come on,” Dick addressed you, “I had faith in you! What happened?”
“It’s just in my nature, okay?” you pouted, “I can’t help it.”
Dick fished out a twenty and threw it at Tim.
“What is happening?” Jason asked, confused.
“I bet ten that the first thing she says to you would be an insult, twenty if she threw in the word ‘fuck’,” Tim grinned.
“And I,” Dick enunciated dramatically, “Thought that she would at least hold it in until after we finished eating.”
“What, you a potty mouth or something?” Jason smirked at you.
“Unless Alfred or Bruce is around,” you grinned.
It was the first time you smiled at him.
“Coward,” he shook his head, “I used to say all sorts of shit even in front of Bruce and Alfred. You gotta step up your game, kid.”
“And Alfred got you bankrupt, didn’t he?” Dick reminded, “You had to put so much of your allowance in the swear jar.”
“I believe in freedom of expression, alright?” Jason huffed, “I had to stand by my principles.”
“Principles?” Tim scoffed, “You?”
“Yes, me, Timbers,” Jason reiterated, “I’m a man of my word. If I’m gonna swear, I’m gonna go all the way.”
“You’re an old man of your word,” Jason heard you mumble.
“I’m only twenty-three, sweetheart,” he responded, “Dick’s the old man here.”
“Am not!” Dick protested.
“Yeah, Dick’s not,” you agreed.
“How does that make any sense?” Jason challenged.
“Because Dick doesn’t treat me like I’m a kid,” you shrugged, “He brings me up to his level, so I don’t see him as an old man. You on the other hand…”
“But you are a kid!” Jason argued back, “What are you, twelve?”
“You know for a fact that I’m fourteen!” you growled.
Jason grinned at you, and expected you to continue defending yourself. But for some reason, you just remained silent, and he saw a blush of red settling on your cheeks.
“Whatever you say, kid.”
***
The time that passed between that night and the next time he came back was shorter. He watched you train with Dick, and saw that you had already improved a lot.
He went back, and came back again, three weeks later. Your moves were faster, cleaner, more efficient.
He went back, and came back again, a week later. You landed a blow on Tim.
Soon, he realised that he was looking forward to his visits, because he wanted to see how much you progressed during the short time he was gone- and you never disappointed.
“She must be training nonstop,” he casually said to Tim one night on patrol. Bruce still didn’t allow you out with them yet, because you were still too new.
“Dude, she wakes up at four every morning to train for two hours before going to school,” Tim told him, “After she gets back, she does her homework and studies for a bit, and then trains again for another three hours before going to bed. She’s borderline crazy.”
Jason frowned to himself.
He knew that pattern. Training relentlessly to lose himself in the physical exertion, to feel like he had some sort of power every time he landed a punch, to regain some sort of control.
You were either running away from something, or towards something.
“I never asked,” he started, “But how did he end up adopting her?”
“Uh,” Tim rubbed the back of his head in hesitation, “I don’t know if I should be the one to tell you. You should ask her yourself.”
“Oh, come on,” he groaned, “You mean to tell me that you asked her yourself? Dick or Bruce didn’t tell you?”
“Of course!” Tim grumbled, “We’re friends, Jason. We hang out. We talk. You’re the only one missing from the circle.”
“Fucking whatever.”
***
He really wanted to ask, he really did.
If not out of care, then out of curiosity.
But honestly, a heart to heart talk with another human being? That wasn’t him.
Yet, he really wanted to know.
He had tried to sit down next to you when you were just watching TV alone in the living room, he had tried to knock on your door while you were blasting shitty music out loud. He had even tried to call you up and see if you wanted to meet him for dinner somewhere.
But he never got to it.
In the end, a year had passed since he first met you, and it was your big night. It was your first debut as Robin.
“Stick to at least one of us,” Jason overheard Bruce instruct you in the Cave, “Don’t go off on your own, don’t act first, and always listen to orders.”
“Yes, sir,” you rolled your eyes, then put on your domino mask.
Jason smirked at your attitude. You had come out of your shell and he learned that you were really a feisty, sassy, annoying little brat.
He thought the Robin uniform suited you. It was more modern than his was- the colors more muted- and he saw that you probably had demanded Bruce to include designs of your own. Like how your black cape sort of shimmered in the light, and how there was fucking lace at the lateral sides of your legs.
Your hair was long now.
All of you split up during patrol, and Jason had found himself panting on a roof after taking down a dozen guys who thought it was a good idea to seek revenge for the time he pissed on them from the edge of a building while they were doing a drug exchange.
It had been pretty funny, the way they were so furiously humiliated.
Out of the corner of his eye, he thought he saw a movement. He turned to look at the building from across the street, and saw that you were sitting there on the edge, legs dangling, overlooking the alley below.
He grappled to where you were and silently approached you from behind.
“I thought he told you to stick to someone,” he said.
“Jesus, fuck,” you jumped, “Stop doing that, you asshole.”
“Think of it as training for your ears,” he chuckled, and sat down next to you.
“I was with Bruce, then Dick, then Tim, then I ran away from Tim to find you,” you explained, “Looks like you found me first, though.”
“Why did you want to find me?”
“Dunno,” you shrugged, “It’s my first night. Just wanted to see everyone in action.”
“Well, you missed one big fight,” he said, “Took out a dozen guys in under five minutes.”
“Not bad,” you smirked, “Wish I could have seen it.”
“You will eventually,” he hummed, “It’s not a big deal.”
“Yes, because you obviously have done worse,” you poked.
“Is that why you were so afraid of me in the beginning?” Jason wondered, “Because you knew I killed people?”
“I was never afraid of you,” you frowned, “What gave you that idea?”
“You couldn’t stop shaking the first time I met you,” he reminded.
“Fine,” you conceded, “You looked pretty big and scary. And when Bruce said that you were Red Hood, that shook me up a bit. But it wasn’t because you killed people.”
“That’s a first,” he scoffed.
“But now I know that you’re just a massive prick who pretends to be badass to cover up the fact that you’re just a sad, fragile being- well, it’s hard to be scared.”
“Oh, we’re throwing shade now are we?” he snickered, “What about you and your obsession with training just to compensate for the fact that you feel small and weak inside with no control over your life?”
He had expected you to retort, but you just frowned and looked down towards the alley.
Shit.
Jason always had that problem where he didn’t know when to shut up, or what not say to people. Granted, most of the time he didn’t care if the other party got offended or not.
But he didn’t want to hurt you.
He was just going to open his mouth to apologize until-
“I’ve been here before,” you started, “This alley. A long time ago. My big brother- he dragged me here away from my dad so he could beat me up.”
Jason remained silent in shock.
“Not that my dad was any better,” you added, “I guess my brother was like that to me because my dad was like that to him.”
He didn’t know how to respond to that. Was he supposed to comfort you? Or tell you something funny to distract you from the sadness?
Instead, he asked, “What about your mom?”
Jason’s mom had been there, yet not fully there. But when she was, he was grateful at least, to know the warmth of a hug in a run down apartment with no heater during the winter.
“Died giving birth to me,” you explained, “Dad always blamed me for it. He’d tell me that he wished I was never born- that he wished he wore a condom when he fucked mom, that at least if she was alive, he didn’t need to fuck whores.”
“And fuck whores, he did,” you continued bitterly, “But they weren’t enough, I guess. He- he even- I-”
You never finished your sentence, but you didn’t need to. Jason was smart enough to put two and two together.
He felt his blood boil, his rage seeping in. It was like he was that Red Hood again. And for the first time since he came back to Bruce, he didn’t try to push that memory away.
He could go rogue again. Just one more time.
“Where is he- they- where are they now?” Jason managed to grit, tasting blood in his mouth.
“Dead,” you snorted, “Thanks to you.”
“What?”
That took him out of his burning anger.
“Turns out dad was working with Black Mask,” you elaborated, “He dragged my brother with him as well. It’s how he managed to afford all those prostitutes and heroin, I guess. I think they were at one of those shipments you crashed or something back then. You left twenty dead.”
Fuck, he remembered.
Black Mask was at the docks, waiting for a shipment of weapons, drugs, and girls. He remembered feeling frustrated that Black Mask slipped away before he got to him, so he took out his anger on everyone else working with Black Mask.
“Lived in the streets after that,” you continued, “Fend for myself. Cut my hair short so people would think I was a boy. I had to stay tough, you know? When Bruce found me, I was doing an odd job for one of the local gangs. Small one. Was supposed to recruit people my age. Start them young, he said. I guess Bruce had been following me for a bit. He approached me and that scared the shit out of me.”
You paused to smile sadly at the memory.
“But he just asked me for my name, and age,” you stared into space, “And he told me that I could do better than that. That I had potential. He asked me if I wanted to help people rather than drag them into dangerous stuff. And how could I say no? Especially after wishing for so long that someone would come and help me when I was with my dad and brother living in a run down apartment with a leaking roof near Crime Alley.”
You finally looked at him.
Jason was glad that he was wearing a helmet, because he wanted to hide from the stabbing guilt he felt. He didn’t want you to see him that way.
“So you’re right,” your blank white lenses pierced his own, “I train because I want to feel strong, because I’ve felt weak my whole life. I train to feel as if I have control over my own body, my own movements. Hell, even the fact that I grew my hair long gave me a sense of control.”
“I’m sorry,” Jason finally managed to croak, “I didn’t mean to-”
“It’s fine,” you dismissed, “Plus, you did me a favour before. I kind of owe you one.”
“Favour?”
“You got rid of my dad for me,” you stood up, “Thanks.”
And for the first time, looking up at you as you were looking down, smiling at him, he didn’t see you as a kid.
“Sure thing, kid.”
***
Jason started dropping by once every two weeks. Sometimes he would even come around twice in a week.
He had warmed up to you after you told him your story, though he was kind of frustrated that Dick, Tim, and Bruce were all right, and he was the wrong one all along because he didn’t know you.
But then, you also started warming up to him.
And that became the major issue.
Since you donned the Robin uniform, your ego had spiked up. Your confidence and arrogance came with every progress you made. A year into Robin, Jason couldn’t see a semblance of that frightened little girl with the short hair, voice shaking as she tried to insult him.
No, now you were just so fucking annoying.
And for some reason, you started to be more aware of your sexuality as your confidence grew.
At the age of 16, you had started coming onto Jason strong.
“Jason,” you pouted at him, “Why don’t you come stay at the Manor anymore?”
“Because you’re there, kid,” he joked, staring at Gotham’s skyline from the rooftop where you, him, and Batman would occasionally stop to catch a breath.
“Jasooon,” you whined, high pitched and long, “I miss spending time with you.”
Jason raised an eyebrow, because you were touching his arm, squeezing his biceps. Not that you could see his face, given the helmet he wore. He kind of missed how you were back then. All you had were insults and swear words for him, and you definitely didn’t whine.
“Don’t you have Tim to annoy?”
“He’s always busy,” you huffed, “And when he’s not busy, he’s sleepy. Tim’s boring. You’re more fun, in an assholey cocknose dickweed kind of way.”
Ah, there it was, your colorful language. He had to admit, your creativity impressed him.
“Well, I can’t argue with that,” he chuckled.
“So why don’t you come over some time and we can have some fun?” you purred seductively.
Jason was taken aback.
He wasn’t sure whether you meant it innocently, or whether you had hidden motives. He glanced at Bruce who was minding his own business, ignoring the two of you.
He didn’t think you would flirt with him in front of Bruce, so he dismissed it and blamed himself for thinking lewd things.
“My idea of fun involves a bottle of whiskey and B-Grade horror movies, kid,” he patted you on the head, “And you’re too young to drink.”
“Hmph,” you slapped his hand away, “That’s not what I was talking about, but whatever.”
You strutted away.
It wasn’t that he didn’t find you attractive, it was that he shouldn’t find you attractive. What was a 16 year old doing flirting with someone his age? Weren’t you supposed to have crushes on the quarterbacks in your school?
Hell, even if you wanted someone who knew of your nighttime activities, there always were the Teen Titans, whom you regularly joined. That Aqualad wasn't a bad kid, but for some reason he didn't like the thought of you dating just yet.
But still, you had no business with someone like Jason. Age wise, or personality wise.
*** Two weeks later, he dropped by again for movie night.
When he walked into the living room, the only person who quirked up when they saw him was you, probably because the rest had already heard him coming.
“Jay!” you squealed, and ran to him, flinging your arms around his neck in a hug.
“Hey- oomph,” he slightly stumbled. It was the first time you hugged him.
And now that you were so close, he was hyper aware of you. You were wearing shorts and a tank top- with no bra. He could smell your vanilla lotion and your chocolate spice shampoo.
He could feel your strong arms, your heavy weight, your burning heat against him.
And for the first time, he actually got turned on by you.
Fuck, he thought. He shouldn’t be thinking of you like that. As if the age difference wasn’t vast already, you were still underaged.
He awkwardly patted you on the back, in an attempt to respond to the hug. He could make out Tim and Dick snickering at him at his obvious discomfort.
“You’ve gained weight,” he gruffed, trying to break the hug because he was dangerously close to popping a boner.
As expected, you let go of him.
“Yeah, I did!” you grinned happily, “I’ve gained about five pounds of muscle mass!”
You started flexing your toned biceps comically.
“Maybe you can gain five pounds of brain mass next time, kid,” he smirked and ruffled your hair.
“I’m pretty sure that’s a medical condition, you twatwaffle arsebadger,” you shot back at him.
“Jar,” a chorus of lazy mumbles from everyone else rose.
You grumbled and walked towards a coffee table, where a clear mason jar almost filled to the brim with folded notes sat. You shoved in five dollars.
Jason took off his jacket and sat next to Dick on the long sofa. You then hopped towards him and started snuggling next to him.
Jason looked at Dick in question.
Dick merely shrugged.
Jason had a hard time concentrating on the movie that night, because you leaning your head on his chest, and playing with the denim of his jeans absentmindedly.
He wasn’t used to it.
Human contact.
And he knew how you were. You were probably the same with Dick and Tim. You just chose him that night to snuggle up to.
But then you made a comment about how hot the guy in the movie was. Jason didn’t think much of it until you leaned up to press your mouth on his ear and whispered, “Not as hot as you, though.”
That made him jump out of his seat in panic.
Everyone else looked at him suspiciously, but you were just looking at him with a knowing smirk.
“Toilet,” he mumbled, and left.
“What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck,” he paced in small circles in a washroom down the hall.
He looked at his reflection only to see how red he was at his ears. He gripped the edges of the sink and took deep breaths, trying to play it cool.
Now, it was obvious that you were flirting with him. There was no denying it.
But why on God’s planet were you?
Jason groaned quietly to himself.
Whatever. He thought that you’d probably just drop it eventually.
***
Half a year later, and it didn’t.
And it got bad. Real bad.
Jason still kept visiting regularly, and every single time he did, he would get almost sexually harassed by you.
He was just sitting down in an armchair in the living room, reading a book, when you came along, and with the most arrogant, most entitled smirk, sat on his lap.
“Get off,” he grit, eyes never leaving his book. He was scared of what you were wearing this time.
“But you’re so warm,” you hummed, swinging up your legs across his lap, so that you were being cradled by him and the armchair.
“The fire’s right there,” he pointed to the fireplace, “If you need help, I can throw you in it.”
“I’d rather you throw me in bed,” you purred.
He snapped his book shut and squeezed the bridge of his nose.
“Just. Get. Off,” he growled.
It was dangerous. Your smell was intoxicating, and you were shifting and shuffling against his front. His mind started to wander, and he hadn’t even looked at you yet.
“But Jasooon,” you whined, “You’re nice and soft.”
He glared at you.
And regretted it.
You were wearing an almost see-through white loose t-shirt that exposed your shoulders. The thin fabric clung onto the curves of your breasts which were- thankfully- covered by a pink bra. You had a pair of satin booty shorts on which hardly covered your ass, which was sitting on top of his crotch.
“Actually, no let me take that back,” you pretended to wonder, “You’re pretty hard.”
And you gave him a wicked grin.
His eyes widen in panic and he stood up suddenly, causing you to fall flat on the floor.
“Fuck!” you cursed, “What's the big deal, jizzcock?”
He left the room and rushed to the toilet. He looked down, and found his penis was normal, flaccid, non-erect, unfilled.
That bitch fucking tricked me, he thought.
And he fell for it.
He went to look for Bruce who was in the cave, in front of the computers.
He took a wheeled chair and sat behind him.
“Bruce,” he started, “I need to talk to you.”
“What is it?” Bruce asked without sparing a glance at him.
That ticked him off a bit.
“It’s about your daughter.”
Jason saw Bruce pause, and then turned around to finally face him. “What about her?”
“She’s been flirting with me,” he grumbled.
Bruce raised an amused eyebrow.
“She’s sixteen, and she’s flirting with a twenty-five year old man!” he complained, “If she’s doing this to me, God knows who else she’s been doing this to!”
“And?” Bruce questioned.
“And? And?” Jason repeated, “And aren’t you worried?”
“She can take care of herself,” Bruce stated, “She’s mature. She won’t let herself be taken advantage of.
“Look, Bruce,” Jason squeezed his temples, “It’s great that you trust her and all that, but don’t you think it’s kind of fucked up? Christ, she’s sixteen!”
“And she’s well aware of that,” he said, “What would you have me do? Do you want me to talk to her?”
“Forget it,” he gave in, and left for his safehouse without saying goodbye to you.
Because that night he laid on his bed in the dark, guiltily thinking about your ass on his dick earlier. But thankfully unlike earlier, he had allowed his cock to fill up.
He knew he shouldn’t, but he thought of that time when you and him went jogging around the manor. You wore just a sports bra that showed off your cleavage, and sports shorts that rode up your ass. He couldn’t resist looking at the way your tits bounce with every step, and when you ran in front of him, his eyes darted down to check out your ass before he realised what he was doing and excused himself.
Excuse himself because he needed to stop looking, to stop thinking.
But now, he let his thoughts free.
He thought about how that one drop of sweat trickled down between the valleys of your breasts, how your muscular back glistened in the sun, how flushed your cheeks were.
He glanced down at his cock, which was already hard and leaking precum onto his stomach, twitching in need of attention.
“Don’t touch it, don’t touch it,” he muttered.
He couldn’t stop his mind from wandering, but he could try to resist from touching himself.
He owed you that at the very least.
He gulped loudly.
It really wasn’t fair. You didn’t look sixteen, or act sixteen. You were far mature even at a younger age.
But you were still sixteen.
And it wasn’t fair how you could tease him and get away with it.
“Fuck,” he groaned in frustration.
The way you swore sort of turned him on as well, oddly. He loved your use of language, and how dirty your mouth was.
How even dirtier your mouth would be if he shoved his cock in-
“No,” he whined, and he touched his cock.
He stroked it once, twice, three times, and then he came hard, long ribbons splashing onto his chest.
“I am a jizzcock,” he whispered to himself in shame, and then cleaned himself up.
***
Three months later, Jason had just come back from a mission in Mexico. Throughout his trip, he’d been bombarded with texts from you.
The topics spanned from the usual banter about training, Dick, and how you’ve been annoying Alfred with “ok, boomer” memes, to you sending him mirror selfies of yourself in fitting rooms trying out clothes that made Jason almost drool and you attempting to flirt with him.
Jason responded normally to the former, but sent short uninterested texts to the latter.
But when he came back to his safe house, he found his spare handgun on his bed- which was not where he last put it. On it, was a sticky note with a written message:
Try not to lick. R.
“What the fuck?” he muttered. R must have stood for Robin, and then suddenly Jason gulped, wondering what the fuck you had done to his gun.
He opened his phone to check his conversation with you, only to find that you had sent him a ten-minute length video.
His thumbs were shaking when he clicked play.
The video started with a closeup of your face in an awkward position, setting what Jason presumed to be your phone, on a surface with an angle you had in mind. Jason looked behind him and saw that his chair had been placed right in front of his bed, where you must have put the phone on.
“Fuck,” Jason realised. He did not like where this was going.
Or did he?
In the video, you then strolled to his bed, fingers touching his sheets. You were wearing nothing but a white flowy sundress that Jason thought made your skin look absolutely radiant. But instead of sitting on his bed, you had gone out of the frame, and then came back with the gun.
He swallowed hard.
You sat on the edge of the bed with a naughty glint in your eye. And then, you started to caress yourself sensually, squeezing your breasts as you made your way down to between your legs.
Jason realised he had started sweating and panting, getting aroused as his cock slowly started to fill out.
You spread your legs and dipped your hand beneath your dress, but Jason still couldn’t see anything because you had taken the fabric and hid what was going on under. He saw your mouth fall open and you let out a long, loud moan.
“Jason.”
Jason’s breath stuttered. His cock was aching in his jeans, begging to be touched.
Your hands were working underneath the fabric, teasing Jason with only an idea of what you were doing.
“I’m so wet, Jay,” you purred at the camera.
And then, your other hand went to take the gun.
You brought it up to your lips and flattened your tongue against the gun and licked all the way to the muzzle. Even in the low quality, he could see your saliva wetting his gun. Then, you gave him a wink and brought the gun to where your other hand was, between your legs.
Jason stopped the video then and squeezed his eyes shut, breathing hard through his nose at an attempt to calm himself down. Once he did have a semblance of control, which took almost five minutes of just trying to steady his breathing, he opened his eyes and dialled your number.
“Hey, Jay,” you picked up.
“What the fuck?!” he roared, “How the fuck did you get into my safehouse? Hell, how did you even know where it was?!”
“Oh, Jason, please,” he could hear you roll yours eyes, “You’re overreacting.”
“Over-?” he growled, “Overreacting?! You came into my house and then started to- started to-”
“Fuck myself with your gun?” you giggled.
His dick twitched.
“You need to stop this, kid,” he tried to bring his rage in, “Stop it, before you regret it.”
“Or what?” you teased, “What would you do to me, Jason? Spank me?”
He couldn’t. Jason just couldn’t with you. So he ended the call and threw his phone across the room.
He sat down at the edge of the bed and buried his face in his palms. His cock was still aching, and he was dying to touch it.
He glanced at the gun next to him.
“Fuck,” he groaned, and then unbuttoned his jeans, letting out a hiss of relief when he could finally take it out.
He started to furiously stroke his cock, just staring at the gun laying there. He wanted to smell it. He wanted to lick it. He wanted to see if he could still taste you on the metal.
“God fucking dammit,” he cursed, and then he came in pulses.
*** “What’s up, fucktrumpet?” you poked.
Jason let out a long and heavy breath from his nose, the sound becoming static as it went through the voice scrambler of his helmet.
It was a week later, and Jason had joined patrol with you, Bruce and Tim.
“Fuck off, kid,” he walked away from you, pretending to be looking out for something from the ledge of the roof.
“Oh, come on,” you whined, coming closer to him anyway. “You enjoyed it.”
“Tim,” Jason turned away to approach the younger man, “How’s things?”
“Don’t ignore me!” you ran after him.
“Leave me out of whatever this is,” Tim sighed. “I’m not in the mood.”
“Pfft, you’re always in the mood for me, Timbers,” Jason nudged his side with his elbow.
“No, she’s always in the mood for you,” he pointed to you, “For some reason.”
“Well, I’m not in the mood for her,” he grit.
“Meanie,” you pouted, “All I’ve ever been is nice to you, Jay. And what do you do? Act like an absolute thundercunt.”
He wanted to laugh at that, but he couldn’t. He had to keep up his appearances.
“Listen here, you brat,” Jason finally turned to you and poked your shoulder hard with his finger, making you wince. “You stay the fuck away from me.”
“Hey, Jay,” Tim suddenly interrupted, “You don’t need to do that, man.”
“This little bitch broke into my house and started defiling my things, Tim,” he growled, “Yes, I need to do that.”
“Defiling your things?” Tim repeated.
You let out a soft giggle.
“Forget it,” Jason threw his hands up in the air. “I’ll patrol alone.”
Jason saw the slight disappointment in your eyes when he left which made him feel a little guilty, but he ignored it.
Whatever, you were basically just asking for it.
***
Another half a year went by, and Jason found himself at the Manor for Dick’s barbecue and pool party. He was already dreading it, because he knew you would be up to no fucking good, especially when you had the excuse to wear a bikini in front of him.
He had contemplated about not going, but Roy was going to be there, and Roy was making him go.
The first person Jason looked out for was you, because he had to be on his guard. He was standing at the glass sliding door of the manor that opened to the pool to survey the crowd. He spotted you in the pool, laughing at who he assumed was Aqualad- Jason didn't bother to learn his name- wearing a dark red bikini top that fixated behind your neck.
“Jaybird! You made it!” Roy’s voice boomed all the way from the other side of the pool and came running to where Jason was standing awkwardly.
He knew many of Dick's friends, but he was never particularly close to any of them besides Roy and Kori. Now that Kori was gone, Roy was all he had left.
“Don't call me that,” he grumbled back.
“Aw, come on,” Roy groaned, “You came to a pool party in a t-shirt and jeans? Seriously?”
“I wasn't planning on swimming,” he shrugged.
Roy was sporting a horrible bright yellow swimming shorts with green palm leaves.
“Well, I was, so I’ll catch up with you later, okay?”
“Yeah,” Jason nodded and decided to head to the pool chairs and put on his sunglasses. He even brought a book to bury his nose into to avoid social interaction.
He heard a splash of water and from the corner of his eye, saw you coming towards him.
“Don’t even,” he snapped at you before you could get a word out.
“I wasn't even going to do anything, fucking dipshit,” you shot back.
Jason forced his eyes back to his book to avoid getting caught looking at how the water trickled down your glistening skin that looked oh so soft-
“What do you want then?” he huffed, turning a page.
“Well,” you began, taking a seat on the pool chair where Jason's feet were, “I was going to ask you about Roy.”
Jason glared at you, peeking from the top of his book.
“What about Roy?”
“You guys are close, right?” you hummed.
“I guess so.”
“Like, best friends?”
“What are we, twelve?” he scoffed, “Why are you asking me so many questions?”
“Well, since you're close to Roy,” you started, “I was wondering if you knew his type.”
“His type?”
“Yeah, like what kind of girls does he like?” you grinned.
“Ones who aren't underaged,” Jason growled.
“Jason I'm already seventeen,” you reminded, “Which is the legal age of consent in Gotham.”
“It doesn't matter,” he grumbled, “He's older than me, which makes him way too old for you. Forget it.”
You pouted, and then stood up. He had to redirect his gaze back to his book.
“It’s like you don't even know me, Jaybird,” you snickered, and with a flip of your wet hair which splashed droplets of water onto him, you strutted away.
He was gritting his jaw so hard he could feel his teeth ache.
Fuck, why can't you just stop?
“I need a fucking drink,” he muttered to himself and left for the kitchen where he rummaged through the refrigerator to find a stout.
He popped open the bottle cap on the marble edge of the kitchen island.
“Alfred would kill you if he saw you do that,” a voice laughed.
Jason rolled his eyes at Dick, who was sipping on a can of beer behind him. “I’ve gotten in trouble for worse.”
“God, I forget how similar you guys are,” he leaned against the counter.
“Who?”
“You know who. Her,” he pointed out.
“We’re not the same,” he denied, heading back outside.
“No, she deals with her issues better than you did,” Dick followed him, “As a matter of fact, you're still dealing.”
“Get to the point, Grayson,” he snapped.
“The point is, she’s not a kid, Jason,” Dick told him, “Why don't you give her a chance?”
Jason stopped in his tracks, standing still before exiting through the glass door. It was quieter inside the manor.
“A chance for what?” he grit.
“To prove herself to you,” Dick explained, “I've noticed how you treat her, Jay. Tim as well. It's like you're trying to push her away. Why? You don't think she's good enough?”
“Holy shit,” Jason started laughing humourlessly, “You think this is about me simply not liking her? You guys think I'm just being angsty?”
“Isn't it?” Dick cocked his head to the side.
“She's been fucking flirting with me, Grayson,” Jason said.
“Okay, I get that, but she sort of flirts with everyone,” he shrugged.
“She comes and sit on my lap, whispers stupid shit in my ear, sends me pictures of herself trying on revealing clothes, makes vulgar motions with her hands, fucking tries to seduce me,” he listed down, “Don't tell me she does that with everyone.”
“Okay, maybe not,” the older man frowned.
“Let me tell you, then,” Jason walked closer to Dick, “She broke into my fucking house, sat on my fucking bed, and started recording herself on her phone, and then sent the video to me.”
“Wait, what?” Dick sputtered, “Recording herself doing what?”
“You fucking know what,” he stated.
“Oh, Jesus,” Dick ran a finger through his hair, “Wow, she's ballsy.”
“That's your reaction?” Jason scoffed, “She's ballsy?”
“I mean-”
“She's sexually harassing me, Grayson!” he argued.
“But,” Dick began, “What did you really think about it? I mean, really?”
“What do you mean?” he hissed.
“Did you watch it?” Dick persisted. “The video?”
“What- I- no, I just-” Jason spluttered, caught off guard.
“You can't lie to me, Jason,” Dick gave him a mischievous smile, “You like her, too. That's why you're pushing her away. Because you don't think you're good enough for her.”
Fuck Dick and his fucking superior detective skills.
“She's too young for me,” Jason simply stated.
“Well, apparently not too young for Roy,” Dick smirked.
“What-” Jason turned around and looked outside.
You were in the pool, standing in the corner. You had a hand on Roy’s chest, looking up at him and laughing. He had a hand on your waist, and was whispering something into your ear.
Jason went into a fit of rage when he saw Roy touching you.
“Mother fucker,” Jason swore, and without thinking, went straight to where you were. He stood there at the edge of the pool, arms crossed, and looking down at the two of you who were both unaware of his presence.
“Roy,” Jason growled.
Roy jumped and looked at Jason in panic, and as if you electrocuted him, immediately jumped away from your touch.
“H-hey, Jaybird,” he awkwardly laughed, “I was just- I was- uh- I was telling her about what a great friend you were.”
“Oh, really?” he raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah!” he nodded vigorously, “Jason here is super good with his aim as well. Could even rival mine.”
Jason ignored Roy, and glared at you, who was looking up at him with obviously fake innocent eyes.
“Out,” he commanded.
“What?”
“I said out,” he repeated. “Out of the pool. I need to talk to you.”
“Oh, come on, Jason,” you started to whine, but then stopped when you saw his expression.
You climbed out of the pool, and again, Jason had to avert his eyes. Without sparing a glance at you, he gripped you by the arm and pulled you to go inside.
“Ow! Jason, let go, fucking cocksucker!” you cried.
He snatched a towel from Tim’s grip as he walked, ignoring Tim’s protests and stares from others, and then threw it on top of your head.
“Ugh- Jason!” you complained. He continued to lead you inside the manor, up the stairs, and to his old room.
He slammed the door shut behind him.
“What's the big deal, you shitpouch?! Who do you fucking think you are? Fucking cumwipe, pisswizard, cuntpuddle...”
That wasn't the end of your swearing. You went on for another good minute of words that could make Batman blush, before stopping.
You were fuming. Your face red, your expression twisted into a scowl, water dripping all over the wooden floors, the fluffy towel around your neck that you hadn't used.
God, you were so hot when you were angry.
“You done?” he deadpanned. He sensed that you were going to go into another stream of name calling, so he cut you off.
“I told you to forget Roy,” he grit.
“And since when have I ever done what you told me to do?” you shot at him
You had a point.
“Look, kid-”
“I'm not a fucking kid, Jason!” you yelled at him for the first time, “I haven't been a kid since my dad- since I was twelve!”
Jason suddenly felt pain in his chest.
“I know you've been through shit,” Jason acknowledged, “What happened with your dad and your brother- I’m fucking glad I killed them. And even if I hadn’t back then, I would have broken every single rule and hunt them down and make them suffer before ending their lives after finding out what they did to you. Hell, before you told me that they were dead, I was already ready to turn every single rock to find them.”
Your expression softened at that.
“And I know you had to grow up fast,” he continued, “All of us who lived there did. But you're out of that now. You don't have to fucking try so hard to act older than you are anymore.”
Your eyes shone with anger once more.
“That's the thing you never got, Jason,” you spat, “I'm not trying. I never did. This is who I am.”
You were looking at him with such fierce intensity that Jason almost forgot how to breathe.
Because you were right. He had gone through the same process where he was made to grow up fast, where he couldn’t afford to act like a kid.
He looked at you, trying not to show much emotion on his face.
Somehow in the heat of the argument and you yelling cusses at him, the two of you had gotten closer to each other, and Jason could even see the tears brimming in your eyes that were threatening to spill.
He immediately felt like a piece of shit, like every word you called him. He never wanted to hurt you.
“Whatever,” Jason huffed, looking away to avoid your glare, “Just stay away from Roy.”
“Why, you two dating or something?” you smirked.
He simply glared at you. You obviously had recovered from your anger and was now back to your usual snarky self.
“Or,” you began, “You were jealous.”
“Don't be ridiculous,” Jason objected, “Why would I be jealous?”
“Because,” you drawled, walking closer to him, “You like me.”
Jason had backed up each time you walked to him, and before he knew it his back was hitting the door.
Fuck, he hated how much you affected him. You had him backed up against the fucking door, for fuck’s sake.
To get a semblance of power back, he stared at you straight in the eye, unblinking, and leaned closer to you.
“You wish,” he said coldly.
He noticed that your breath stuttered, and a blush creeped up your cheeks.
Then, he leaned back and smirked.
“Oh, no you don't,” you shook your head, “You think you can win this game, Todd?”
“Unlike you, I'm not playing a game.”
“But yes you are, Jay,” you placed your palms flat on his chest, “You’ve been playing hard to get with me.”
“Playing hard to get is only used when the other person actually wants you,” he scoffed.
He didn't know why, but he was sweating. His respiratory rate had gone up, and shit.
Shit.
He could feel his dick getting filled up.
Maybe it was how close you were to him, maybe it was the fact that you were half naked in front of him with all the privacy he could have asked for.
Maybe it was the fact that it was you who had him in a corner instead of the other way round.
“I'm not a fucking idiot, Jay. Batman trained me, too. I've seen how you look at me and I’ve seen how you tried not to.”
Fuck.
“Your pupils dilate, your breathing gets faster, you start to sweat,” you went on, “And then suddenly you excuse yourself. You run away.”
Your hands went up to his shoulders, and your body was now against his, getting his clothes wet. He could smell the chlorine on you when you leaned into his ear and whispered.
“You fucking coward,” you breathed.
Jason's breath hitched and he had to squeeze his eyes shut. He pressed his palms against the door behind him to restrain himself from touching you, grabbing you, squeezing you, slapping you.
Jason knew he was fully hard now, because it was getting painful.
Suddenly, the pressure and heat of your body against his own disappeared. He opened his eyes.
But sucked in a breath when he saw that you were on your knees in front of him, eye level to his crotch, the tent in his pants mere inches away from your lips.
“What the fuck are you- mmpf,” he threw his head back, hitting the door.
You had gripped his shaft hard, sending a pulse of pleasure through his body.
No. Jason had to stop this. He couldn't go through with this. He shouldn't.
“You want me to suck your cock, Jay?” You purred.
Jason swallowed hard, just trying his best to restrain himself.
He remained silent for a beat. And then-
“Do whatever you want,” he managed to choke out.
You showed him a winning grin, and then unbuckled his belt and unzipped his pants, pulling down his jeans.
You started to mouth his length through the fabric of his boxers, getting it translucent with your spit. He had never been so horny in his entire life.
As much as Jason’s head was screaming at him, telling him to stop you, telling him how inappropriate it was, he didn’t have the strength to voice it out.
He wanted to tell you to stop teasing him, to hurry up and put your mouth around his cock already, but again, it was like he had lost his voice.
He was utterly conflicted, so he opt to just stay silent.
You hooked your fingers in the waistband of his briefs and then pulled it down, revealing his cock to you. He hissed slightly at the relief.
Jason wanted to remember your expression the minute you saw his cock forever, he wanted to burn it in his brain and immortalize it. Your eyes had gone rounder, your mouth popped open with a gasp, and your excitement grew.
“It’s everything that I’ve dreamed about and more,” you fluttered your eyes dramatically before gripping his shaft and licking one long, steady stripe from the base to his tip.
Jason bit his lip to muffle his groan.
You licked him again, and again, and then started to swirl your tongue around the head of his cock, tracing your tongue around the sulcus underneath his head.
Fuck, you were so fucking good at teasing him, and making him squirm.
He looked down at you, and you were looking up through your long lashes, eyes almost innocent. And then, you took him in his mouth, going all the way down.
“Fuck,” Jason gasped.
You immediately built a rhythm, the most perfect rhythm that he liked. It was suspicious how you knew his preference, and at the back of his head he made a mental reminder to check his room for hidden cameras.
You provided him with the right amount of tongue, the right amount of suction, the right amount of teeth gently grazing him from time to time that he swore could have drove him insane.
Your mouth was soft, and warm, and wet, and before he knew it, he was ready to fucking explode.
As if you were familiar with his expressions, you picked up the pace and started sucking even harder each time you bobbed your head. Jason felt his balls tighten, the heat spreading to his toes and making them tingle.
“Fuck- I’m gonna- I’m gonna-” he rasped.
And then he released with sudden explosion into your mouth, going through a sensory overdrive because as he was releasing, he could still feel you sucking him dry and swallowing.
When he was done, you released his cock with a pop and a grin.
Jason had to catch his breath for a while, because it was the best head he had ever received in his entire life, and he had managed to keep his hands off you the entire time.
“You made me jealous on purpose,” he panted.
“Duh,” you stood up after politely zipping him back up, putting your hands on your waist so fucking proudly, like a power stance.
“Where the hell did you learn how to suck cock that good?” he interrogated.
“You’ve lived in Titans Tower before,” you winked, “You should know.”
He didn’t like that. He didn’t like that statement and implication one bit.
“This can’t,” he started, “We can’t-”
“This can’t happen again?” you finished for him, rolling your eyes. “Typical. Just get over yourself already, Jason. It gets tiring.”
“I’m no good for you,” he avoided your eyes.
“You say that right after coming into my mouth,” you scoffed, “Sure.”
He clenched his jaw. You were right. He was trash for doing that to you, defiling you like that.
Jason must have let his emotions leak, because you suddenly added, “What I meant was, we’ve already crossed that line. We don’t have to go back to how it was before. I like you, Jason. And I know you like me, too.”
“That doesn’t matter,” he muttered, “This was a mistake. We can’t do this again. I’m sorry. Just stay away from me.”
He left.
***
He had avoided you for a long time after that.
Months went by, and he ignored your texts and your calls. Even the knockings outside his door. He had made sure to upgrade his security, with both Tim and Roy’s help so you couldn’t break in again.
When he went on patrols with everyone else, he made sure you couldn’t catch him alone, so he arrived at the very latest, and left at the very soonest, never exchanging more than a few words with you.
And every time, it killed him. He saw the hurt flash in your eyes every time he left quickly, he noticed that you had texted him less and less as the months went on, and eventually came to a complete stop.
You had even stopped calling him those weird, creative swear names that he loved so much.
Jason finally won. He had managed to get you to give up on him.
But hell did it make him feel like absolute shit.
Eight months had passed by, and he was getting ready for the event he had absolutely been dreading. It was your 18th birthday party that Bruce had used as an excuse to host a charity gala at the manor.
Jason thought it was a dick move for him to take advantage of your birthday for the sake of his own gain, but apparently you had been more than supportive over it, understanding Bruce’s position as one of Gotham’s elite.
He didn’t want to go. He couldn’t bear to face you again where you could pull him somewhere private to talk to him. But Dick and Tim had convinced him.
It was your birthday after all.
When he arrived, everyone was staring at him.
Well, he was wearing just a leather jacket over a black shirt and a pair of dark denim jeans after all.
“You couldn’t have dressed for the occasion, Jason?” he heard Tim approach him from behind.
Tim was sporting a suit, just like everyone else.
“Couldn’t be bothered,” he shrugged, “What’s the agenda?”
“Mingling, dinner, speeches, more mingling,” Tim listed down, “Typical charity ball. The others are at the tents. We should get going.”
“I’m the dead son, remember?” he pointed out, “I don’t need to sit with you guys.”
“We’ll introduce you as Dick’s boyfriend or something, come on,” Tim gestured.
“Oh, the media would love that,” Jason muttered under his breath and went along.
The banquet area was set outside in the backyard of the Manor, where tents with clear plastic canopies were propped up, decorated with fairy lights. Since it was spring, the weather was cool enough for suits and warm enough for strapless dresses.
The main tent had a stage where a band was playing classical music- typical tunes you would hear at any other fucking gala.
Each table seated ten, and Tim had brought Jason to a table closest to the stage where he saw Dick, Bruce, and you were already seated with four others. He recognized the Mayor, the Commissioner, Lucius Fox, and a middle aged woman with greying hair he didn’t recognize with who Jason presumed was her husband.
Jason avoided looking at you, but he knew that you were staring right at him. Tim took a seat, and Jason cursed softly when he realised that the only other seat available was in between you and Dick.
Looking straight ahead, he calmly sat down. From the corner of his eye and from a portion of what he could make out, he saw that you were wearing a midnight blue dress, and a silver bracelet around your wrist which you rested on the table.
Bruce had started to converse with the guests, and Dick and Tim were having a banter amongst themselves.
“Hey,” he heard your voice.
“Happy birthday,” he mumbled.
“Thanks,” you replied.
And that was that. The two of you remained silent, with Jason occasionally checking his phone and still avoiding looking at you.
“It’s time for our speech,” Jason heard Bruce whisper to you.
He heard you get up and shuffled to the stage. He was hardly paying attention during Bruce’s welcome speech.
“...and then, the woman of the hour, my lovely daughter,” Bruce introduced you. The audience broke out in applause. Jason still hadn’t turned your way.
“Hello, everyone,” he heard your uncharacteristically nervous and shy voice over the sound system. He took a sip of wine. “T-thank coming for you all- uh- I mean-”
The audience laughed, but not in mockery. Jason couldn’t help but look at you now.
He accidentally inhaled his wine, and ended up trying to cover his coughing fits.
Up on stage, where the spotlight was on you, he had noticed your midnight blue dress had small sparkling stars on them, making you seem like you were wearing the clear night sky. Your hair was done in a simple graceful updo, which exposed your neck that he noticed was flushed, a blush creeping up to your cheeks at your own embarrassment.
Your eyes were wide in panic, and you kept on playing with your thumbs subconsciously.
His breath stuttered, because he thought you were the most beautiful creature he had ever laid his eyes on.
You were usually so snarky, so full of confidence, and wit with a mouth that could make a sailor blush- but there you were spluttering all over the microphone, a blushing mess. And hell, did that make Jason’s chest tighten in yearning for you.
“I’m sorry, I’m not used to crowds like my father is,” you tried to laugh it off, “Here, let’s try again.”
Despite your fumbles, you had a certain charm on stage that made everyone just like you.
“Thank you all for coming to my eighteenth birthday party,” you started, “I must admit, at first I wanted my party to be small and intimate. But I realised that this celebration could be used for something good instead.”
Another round of claps.
“I come from a very… humbling area in Gotham. I’m sure we’re all familiar with Crime Alley,” you stated, confidence growing as you got used to being on stage, “It was hard, living as a child in the streets. But I got lucky. Bruce Wayne found me.”
“Being the daughter of Bruce Wayne has taught me a lot about understanding and acknowledging my own privilege and using it to help others. Growing up there, myself and many other children were faced with the harsh reality of poverty and abandonment. Therefore, I would like to announce that I have started a foundation called Wayne’s Foundation for Children of Hope, where all proceeds will go to the development of Crime Alley.”
You paused and smiled at the flashing cameras of the media and waited for the applause to die down.
“Our first initiative is to build a home for lost children aged eighteen and under, to provide shelter, basic healthcare, food, and education. The primary goal of these shelters is to help kids find a place where they belong, and to help set them back on the right track. These kids also have the option to maintain anonymity for cases that involve abusive environments.”
Jason was looking at you in awe. You were standing proudly at the podium, graceful in your posture, a fierce intensity in your eyes- all previous nervousness completely gone.
Next to him, Dick leaned in and whispered, “It was all her idea, you know. Every single plan for this foundation, even the future plans she hadn’t mentioned. All hers.”
Jason remained silent and watched as you continued your speech.
“But the truth is,” you smiled sadly, “It’s still not enough. The situation in a lot of areas in Gotham is painfully swept under the rug. But hopefully with this, people like us can make things a little better for them. If you’d like to donate to the foundation, it would mean a lot to me, and to the other kids who had to grow up too fast.”
You made eye contact with Jason at that last statement, causing his heart to suddenly drum faster.
The crowd broke in a loud applause and you thanked them graciously, waving as you stepped down from the podium to take your seat.
This time, Jason didn’t take his eyes off you.
“That was great!” Tim gave you a thumbs up, “You did great!”
“Well done,” Dick grinned.
Jason took your hand and gave it a little squeeze, just smiling at you in silence. You looked at him with obvious shock, and then grinned back.
“Beautiful, Ms. Wayne,” the Mayor sitting across from you beamed, “You’ve taken after your father’s charms.”
“Thank you, Mr. Mayor,” you nodded, “But I’d like to think that my charms are my own.”
Jason had to bite back a laugh when he saw the man turn red.
He was somehow more relaxed now, even sparing occasional glances at you as you conversed with others. The dance floor was now open, and the guests had left their seats to mingle with others. The MC also announced that the bar was open.
“That’s my cue,” Jason winked at you, and then went straight to the bar to get himself something strong. From there, he just leaned back and watched how the disgustingly rich people made themselves feel better about themselves by donating the occasional couple of million dollars. Soon enough, he got sick of the pearls and diamond earrings, the solid gold watches.
He checked his own battered and scratched Swiss Army watch he had lifted from a drug lord many years ago. He should be going back soon. It wasn’t like he was needed there anyway. He had already wished you and made peace.
“What do you think?” he heard your voice approach him.
He turned and saw you come up next to him.
“Too fancy for my taste,” he started, “Looks like it took you a whole hour just to get into the damn thing. And those shoes? Looks like the crowbar was less painful than walking around in that.”
It took you a couple of seconds before realising that he was talking about your outfit.
“I meant the foundation, you fucknugget,” you hissed.
“Be careful there, sweetheart,” he raised an eyebrow, “Don’t want these people hearing you speak like that. You’ll lose your charm.”
“I don’t know how Bruce does it,” you shook your head, “It’s so exhausting.”
Jason hummed back at you as a comfortable silence fell. The two of you leaning back against the bar and just watching the crowd.
“I think it’s a great idea,” he finally said.
“Thanks,” you pursed your lips, “I kept on thinking of you, you know? When we were coming up with the plans. Was wondering what you would think of it.”
“You’re making it sound like I’m the only one from there.”
“Well, you’re the only one who would understand,” you explained, “The others, of course they empathized. But they wouldn’t understand. Not like how you and I do.”
And Jason realised that it was that factor that probably drew you close to him when you first came to them, the fact that Jason understood at more than just a superficial level how shit your life was before coming to the manor. It was a painful past that only the two of you shared, and only the two of you could talk about.
Silence fell again.
“I’m sorry,” you suddenly brought up.
“For what?” he frowned.
“For making you uncomfortable for so long,” you whispered, “I don’t know why I did it. I guess I liked your reactions. And I guess I just wanted your attention. And during that pool party- I- I thought-”
Jason waited for you to finish your sentence.
“Nevermind,” you looked away, “Forget it. I just wanted to say sorry. I crossed the line. After you stopped talking to me, I just. I don’t want that. So I’ll stop, okay? You don’t have to avoid me anymore.”
He turned around to face you.
“I stopped talking to you not because I was mad at you,” he told you, “I stopped talking to you because I was mad at myself.”
You faced him with curious eyes.
“I thought- well- fuck,” it was Jason’s turn to splutter. He took a deep breath and started again. “I thought that it was a real shit move for me to do what I did to you.”
“Wait, what?” you questioned, “What you did to me?”
“Yeah,” he grumbled, “You know. That.”
“Jason, I was the one who practically jumped you,” you scoffed, “I basically forced it on you. Why are you blaming yourself?”
“Force me? Pfftsh, you couldn’t force me to do anything.”
“Jason.”
“I liked it, okay?” he threw his arms up, “I didn’t stop you because I liked it, and I shouldn’t have liked it. I was taking advantage of you. It was wrong of me to do so.”
“God, you’re so fucking stupid,” you laughed, “I’ve been pining over you since Bruce told me you were… You know who.”
You lowered your voice.
“Want to talk inside?” he offered.
“Good idea,” you agreed.
The two of you made your way past the garden and into the manor.
“Is it okay for the birthday girl to disappear from her own party?” he smirked when he closed the door to Bruce’s study, which was the nearest room that offered privacy.
“Oh, please,” you waved your hand and sat on Bruce’s desk, “The whole party was never about me. I’m just another excuse for those cuntflaps to show off their new diamonds.”
He chuckled. “Anyway, you were saying? Something about Bruce telling me I was Red Hood?”
“Yeah,” you bit your lip in nervousness, “I’ve had a crush on you since then.”
“Really?”
Jason knew that you obviously had a crush on him, especially because of the neverending teasing and seductions, but he didn’t know it stemmed from that long ago.
“Yeah,” you nodded, “I remember thinking to myself, like wow. This is the guy who killed them. And you know what? You looked exactly like how I thought you would.”
“What? How so?”
“Huge,” you started, “Scars everywhere. Grouchy as hell.”
“I’m not as grouchy as Bruce,” he defended himself.
“Still,” you chuckled, “You looked exactly like how I imagined my hero to look.”
“Super hot, sexy, and good looking?” he joked.
He had expected you to roll your eyes and throw an insult at him, but you just tightened your lips and looked away.
“Look, k- sweetheart,” he stopped himself from calling you a kid. From what he saw on the stage earlier, you were already so much better than he was. “I’m going to be honest, alright? And you better damn well appreciate it, because I’m never honest.”
You giggled softly. He walked to stand in front of you at the desk.
“I think you’re great,” he stated, “And I think you’re beautiful, and sexy. And…”
He hesitated, thinking of whether or not to continue.
Fuck it. He might as well.
“And I like you,” he forced out, “More than you know. Fuck, I like you. I like you so much it fucking hurts sometimes.”
You looked up at him with hopeful, glistening eyes.
“But I’m no good for you,” he repeated what he said all those months ago, “I can never do what you just did. Start a fucking charity on your birthday and announce it to the world as if it was nothing. Fuck, I don’t think I should even be seen walking around next to you when you look like that. I’m a fucking mess, sweetie. You don’t want that.”
He saw as you digest what he had just said. Then, you looked up at him and asked, “What do you think I want?”
“What do I think?” he repeated.
You nodded.
“I think you should be with someone who’s closer to your age, for one,” he rolled his eyes, “And someone who doesn’t have scars all over their face. Someone who isn’t grouchy. Someone charming who can stand next to you on stage wearing a proper suit and tie.”
“You’re right,” you nodded, “I should be with someone like that.”
Jason felt a pang in his chest at your agreement.
“But I don’t want to be with someone like that,” you continued, “I want to be with someone who was ready to hunt down and hurt the people who terrorized me for years. I want to be with someone whose face is littered with scars as proof that they went through just as much shit as I did and survived.”
You hopped from the desk and stood up straight, stretching your hand up to cup Jason’s face. He leaned into the warmth of your caress, his breath hitching at the close contact. His hands automatically went to rest on your waist, still respectfully high.
“I want you, Jason,” you whispered, pulling him down to your lips, “I want someone who can handle my bites.”
To demonstrate, you sucked in his lower lip, eliciting a low moan from him.
And then you bit down hard.
He gasped at the stinging pain, and then sighed when you massaged his lip with yours. Heat suddenly spread throughout his body, particularly at his member which was growing hard fast. He could smell the wine on your breath that you must have snuck a few sips from, the vanilla lotion you always wore, and a new particularly enticing perfume that you must have gotten for the occasion.
“I want someone who can call me a little bitch straight to my face,” Jason felt you grin against his lips.
The two of you were kissing now, harsh and forceful, as if deprived of touch. Fuck, he loved how you were nipping at his lips and his tongue, tugging his hair lightly.
Both of you gasped for air, and just stood there foreheads against each other, his erection pressed against your stomach, your hands around his neck.
“I want someone who is resourceful enough to enhance his home security to make sure I don’t break in and fuck myself with his weapons again,” you chuckled.
“Was it…” he started, “Was it loaded?”
“You bet it was,” you smiled.
“Fuck,” he swore and then crashed his lips against yours again. He lifted you up to sit on the desk, and then stood in between your open thighs. At the slightly elevated level, he could properly grind his erection against your pussy, still covered by your dress.
“You liked that?” you giggled, “I thought you weren’t into that. I got a bit worried.”
“Hell yeah, I liked that,” he rasped, “What kind of sane man wouldn’t?”
He started to nibble on the skin on your neck, sucking and biting and licking
“I’m pretty sure not everyone is into the thought of fucking a loaded gun into a pussy,” you laughed, “Which proves my point. You and me? We’re perfect, Jay- fuck, don’t leave any marks, dumbass.”
“Point taken, baby.”
“Mmm, call me that again,” you moaned.
He stopped nibbling on your neck, brought his eyes to yours, and with a defiant smirk, he said, “No.”
It was like Jason saw the switch in you flick on, because you suddenly pushed him away aggressively. He stumbled, not expecting it.
“Oh, you think you’re in control, Todd?” you purred, twisting your fists in his leather jacket. You were shorter than him, and your frame much smaller. But Jason just loved the authority that radiated from you.
“You think you’re the one who has power over me?” you drawled, pulling him to the side where Bruce had set up a leather sofa and a coffee table.
“When all this while, I’m the one who had you wrapped around my finger?” you snarled, and then pushed him down on the sofa.
Before Jason could even register what was happening, you were already on top of him, straddling him. He looked up at you, the pressure of your weight on his crotch making him pant with want.
“So are you going to call me baby again?” you asked sweetly, tugging at his jacket to remove it.
“Maybe in due time,” he gasped when you bit the flesh that connected his neck and shoulder hard.
Fuck, he was throbbing in his pants.
You took off his shirt and ran your hand down his body. Jason smirked when he saw you bite your lip as you took in his figure.
He still had a bit of fight left in him, and he wasn’t going to beg.
Yet.
“Why must you be so stubborn, Todd?” you breathed, teeth catching at his earlobe and biting. You were rocking your hips against his erection, and he swore that if you didn’t take it out, he was going to rip a hole in his pants with it.
“H-hey, you’ve always been the pushy one,” he stuttered.
“That’s because I like to get what I want,” you pinched his nipples hard.
“Fuck!” he yelped at the sudden pain, and then glared at you as you just grinned cheekily. “I don’t know why I never took you for a sadist before this.”
“Because you’re an idiot, Jay,” you teased, “All I did was torture you.”
“Yes, you did,” he rested his hands on your hips, motioning for you to grind on him harder, “You made me so fucking hard on purpose, and then I had to go back and jerk off to you, which made it worse because I felt so fucking guilty after.”
“That was your own fault,” you frowned. You were finally, finally unbuckling his belt. “You saw me as a kid when I wasn’t.”
“You were still underaged, you brat,” he laughed, “It didn’t matter if you were wise beyond your years- ah, fuck yeah.”
You had finally unzipped him, releasing him from the constraints of his denim.
“Take everything off for me, Jay,” you demanded, sitting up on your knees to give him room to do so.
He listened to you happily, glad to be rid of his clothes. His cock slapped against his lower abdomen, already leaking so much precum.
“Why am I the only one naked?” he voiced out his displeasure.
“Because it took me twenty minutes to get into this dress, and I’m not undressing for anyone before the night is over,” you announced.
“But, baby,” he pouted, rejoicing at how he made your breath hitch, and rested his chin between your breasts, “I want to see your tits.”
You frowned and bit your lip as you looked down at him, considering his plea. He made a mental reminder that you must like dirty talk.
“Then make sure you don’t go home so early tonight,” you managed to choke out.
Jason thought that you also must have liked to be the submissive one, as well.
You leaned into him and kissed him again, this time less rough. He moaned into your mouth, slipping his tongue in as he grabbed your hips and tried to rub his cock against your pussy, underneath your dress. He gasped when he felt that you were already bare, and leaking.
“What happened to your- your panties?” he rasped.
“Long gone,” you winked.
“Fuck, you fucking nymph,” he chuckled, and then groaned when you started to slide the head of his cock between your wet lips.
“Jason, I’ve wanted your cock so bad,” you muttered into his ear as you rubbed your slick all over his length, “You’ve no idea how many times I’ve fucked myself with- with whatever I could find, pretending it was you.”
“Fuck, baby,” he whined, throwing his head back against the couch. Your dirty mouth was doing so many things to him, he was worried that he was going to come right there and then.
“After that time I sucked you off?” you continued, “All I wanted was to choke on it, Jay. I just want your dick in my throat.”
You lifted your hips and sank down onto him. Both of you groaned lowly in pleasure. Fuck, you were so tight, and warm, and wet, and oh so soft.
“Ah! Jason!” you cried out when he bottomed out, “Fuck, I’m going to feel you for fucking days.”
“Shit, baby,” he choked, “Baby, please. Please, move.”
“You want me to move?” you teased.
“Yes,” he whispered.
“How would you like me to move, Jay?” you smiled.
“Any- I don’t care-”
“Nice, and slow like this?” you lifted your hips up, and Jason could feel the torturously slow drag of your walls against his shaft, even as you sanked back down you were slow.
“Hnng- fuck-” Jason mewled, lost for words. “Please.”
It was all he could say.
“Or hard and fast like this?” you slammed your hips down, and started bouncing on his cock at a brutal pace that knocked his breath out.
“Fuck!” he yelled, “Fuck, baby, fuck!”
You weren’t being any softer as well. Through tear-filled hazy eyes, Jason saw your eyes fluttered close in pleasure, your mouth falling open as you cried out wanton moans, and gasped, and groaned for him.
“Jason! Fuck, Jay, fuck!”
He couldn’t take it anymore.
He gripped your hips hard, and then started to fuck himself up into you, matching your pace, making you fucking scream.
He could feel your walls tighten around his cock, the same time you started whining, “Jason, Jason, I’m gonna- I’m gonna-”
“Me too, sweetheart, me too,” he gasped.
“Come inside me, Jason, please!” you sobbed.
“But-”
“Just- just- please, please, please,” you squeezed your eyes shut and threw your head back.
Jason felt your pussy clench tight onto him, triggering his own orgasm. He released inside you while still fucking you hard, trying to prolong both of your highs.
Soon, he was oversensitive, the feeling of your walls almost painful. You calmed down, still panting above him, and he just couldn’t help but stare at you in amazement.
“Holy shit,” you giggled above him, “Holy shit, that was the best sex I’ve ever had.”
“Uh- I,” he panicked, “I came inside of you, fuck!”
“I’m on the pill, don’t worry,” you smiled, “Fuck, I just. I just wanted to walk around after this with my panties soaked in your cum.”
“How the fuck are you eighteen and already so fucking kinky,” he groaned.
You only laughed and slowly lifted yourself off of him. He hissed at the movement, feeling hypersensitive at every touch.
You went to look for your panties, which Jason noticed were a lacy black, and then put them on under your dress.
He was still sprawled out on the sofa naked, sweaty, and well spent.
“I also didn’t want any of your spunk to get on my dress,” you told him.
“S’pretty dress,” he mumbled back to you.
“You should get dressed, Jay,” you walked towards him, hands on your hips.
“Do I need to get back out there?” he complained, “Can’t I just wait in your room?”
“If you get dressed and attend the party, I’ll let you fuck me with one of your guns,” you promised.
“Really?” his eyes widen, and then he jumped back up to put on his clothes.
“I gotta tell you something, though,” you started.
“What is it?” he hummed, tucking his black shirt into his jeans.
“The safety was on,” you said, “On the gun, I mean. It was loaded, but the safety was on.”
“Oh, baby,” he looked at you seriously, “If you told me the safety was off, I would have shot you myself for being so stupid.”
You giggled.
He gave you his arm. “Shall we?”
“Yes, we shall,” you took it. “By the way.”
“What?”
“Are you going to switch back to a more lax security?”
“And have you breaking in again? You wish, kid.”
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unoriginalmess · 3 years ago
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A Second Mask: Chapter 4
Did that just happen?
Hello guys! It's me. I'm finally writing again. Sorry about the delay. I'm going to explain more at the end of the chapter, but I'm just going to keep the beginning short. So here is chapter 4:
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To say Adrien was concerned would be a huge understatement. He was downright disturbed. Its been weeks and still Marinette hadn't changed back to the happy, peppy, nice girl that he knew. AND SHE WOULDN'T EVEN TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT!
He tried to talk to her for a whole week after her original trasformation, but after the repeated firm rejections, he stopped altogether. He figured that maybe with some space, she might be able to work through whatever she was going through, but at this point, he's losing hope.
When he is feeling this distressed about something, he usually turns to his lady, but she has been acting weird too. Ever since she suggested they start sparring, she's started to show that she is going through kinda a rough time as well. She is the same ladybug when everyone is watching, but when it's just the two of them, she looks sad and tired. She has also started saying some concerning things while they are sparring. She has started talking about how she has started taking being Ladybug and the Guardian more seriously, and how she has less distractions now, which would be a good thing if she didn't say them so sadly.
The good thing is, the sparring has given him a chance to get out his aggression because of the whole Marinette-situation and his anger at his father in a safe environment. He didn't like the idea of hitting Ladybug at first (especially in the face) but with her not holding back on her hits, he felt more comfortable doing the same. It has helped them fight better too. He hopes that whatever Ladybug is going through in her civillian life will work itself out soon, but until then he will be there for her. He just needs to figure out how to be there for Marinette.
•••
Felix was making good progress with Marinette. After they first asked marinette about (insert fashion question of your choice here, I legit know nothing and I didn't have time to research anything for this chapter), she had started answering their questions on a daily basis. After a couple of days of that, she had started to rant to them about different things in the fashion world that were bothering her, exciting her, or confusing her that particular day. In response to that, they had started to respond to her rants with their own opinions on the subjects and even start their own rants.
It had gotten to the point where Felix would now consider them to be friends, though they know that Marinette would never call them as such, it was fine with them. They know she has trust issues, and they can understand why, so they are fine with being friends in everything but a name.
Felix was looking forward to their daily banter as they waited in their seat for Marinette to arrive. When she did, she was followed by a very pissed-looking Alya. Felix turned to look at her and noticed that she had what looked to be tears forming in her eyes. What they didn't notice was the little black butterfly that had entered through the window in the back of the room, and was making a beeline towards her.
•••
Marinette walked to school in yet another one of her newest fashion creations: a pair of oversized grey ripped jeans and a navy blue sweatshirt. She was actually really liking her new look, and the comfort that it offered was just an added plus.
She was actually feeling excited to talk to Felix about Gabriel Agreste's newest fashion flop. They were the only person that she had met that actually cared about fashion as much as her. It made her happy to talk to them. It kind of scared her how excited she was. Shouldn't she be distancing herself from everyone? she thought to herself. No. Felix isn't my friend, they aren't close to me, they are just someone I talk fashion with. Like a coworker, yeah. Totally. Felix is just a coworker. ("Liar" says the inner voice in her head)
She was shocked out of her thoughts when she was pulled to the side by someone as she entered the courtyard. Her mind immediately thought of an akuma, when the person spoke.
"Marinette! Girl," Oh it's just Alya. Wait Alya? "How long are you gonna keep up this cry for attention? Are you really THAT jealous of Lila? I know that Adrien likes her, but that doesn't give you the right to act like this! And you are hanging out with Felix, who accused her of sexually harrassing Adrien on their first day here-?" She looked absolutely furious at her, but Marinette had heard enough. She cut Alya off in the middle of her presumably long rant.
"ALYA!" Said girl jumped at both the inturruption and the tone of voice used, "First of all, this isn't a cry for attention, if anything its a cry for leaving me the fuck alone. Second of all, I'm not jealous of Lila. I'm not in love with Adrien anymore, and haven't been for a while. You knew that I was dating Luka right? Why would I care who Adrien likes? Lastly, I am allowed to hang out with whoever I choose, whether you like them or not. It's none of your fucking business Alya, and if you think that I'm just some jealous, attention-seeker why do you even care?" With that last question she stormed off to the classroom, leaving a speechless Alya behind her.
When marinette sat down in her seat, she just kept thinking about how Alya was just talking to her. How could she think that about her? They used to be best friends, and Alya wasn't even concerned about her not talking to her anymore, she was just concerned about her being "jealous of Lila". It made her so furious that she could feel tears trickling down her face. She sees the black butterfly out of the corner of her eye and without hesitation grabs it out of the air.
(Next part is taken from this post by @bigfatbreak)
"Go ahead and akumatize me- See what happens, Hawkmoth!" She screamed the words with a slight madness that the energy of the akuma was giving her, "Every leash has two ends! I just have to pull until I find where you're holding it!"
At this point, the entire class was frozen in place watching her and listening to her crazed-sounding voice threaten an actual terrorist. Marinette felt Hawkmoth's confusion and terror through the bond. What in the- She's sensing me through the Akuma?! The akuma then started to fly away, and when it couldn't it zapped her hand like it was made of lightning and fluttered through the same window it came from. Marinette felt like she had failed yet again and collapsed down on her desk, muttering, "Uuuuggghh. It escaped anyway... What a waste. I didn't realize that Hawkmoth was such a coward. He usually likes grandstand..."
She was startled when her hand was picked up by Felix's, "You likely scared him off by managing to locate him like that... A risky move, I should mention. I would ask that you not attempt that a second time. No one knows what his akuma is truly capable of. You'll want to keep off of this hand for a while, too."
"Oh, are those the doctor's orders? Why, Felix, it almost sounds like you care about meeee." Marinette was all too amused by Felix's concern for her. She also liked to tease them... AS COWORKERS DO.
"I have an investment in your presence. Now don't be cheeky and let's get you to the nurse's office," They said while holding her wrist and gently pulling her in that direction.
Marinette scoffed, "'An investment in my presence'??"
Felix chuckled while still semi-dragging her by the wrist towards the front of the room, being careful not to hurt her injury even worse, "What did I just say about being cheeky?"
On their way out of the door they passed a VERY distressed-looking Adrien. He seemed to be sharing the sentiment with the entire class of: Did that just happen?
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And thats chapter 4. It is VERY LATE! I know. I've been swamped with work, and when I went to write it, I had zero ideas on how to write this chapter. I never ended up getting those ideas. I just went where my writing took me, so if it doesn't really match the characters that's why. I will try to be better at updating regularly, but it probably won't happen. Sorry to everyone with a normal sleep schedule, but this is the time that I write things. Also I didn't have my outline with me while writing this chapter, so it might not have everything I planned to write in it.
I would like to thank you all for all of the support I've been getting on this fic. Despite all of the chapter delays, you guys have stuck with me through all of it, so thank each and every one of you. I love seeing so many people loving this au as much as I do. Without you guys this story wouldn't exist, and I would've stopped writing it after the first chapter.
As always, constructive criticism is always accepted. I love being able to improve my writing whenever possible.
Thank you for reading. Have a nice day/night/whenever you are reading this. See ya next time guys, gals, and non-binary pals.
Taglist
@queer-illusion @apasponsor @heckinggremlin @1-ahiro-1 @hewantedbeefintheparkinglot @sassakitty @lennauts @rianoel @dorkus-minimus @khneltea @welp-that-was-unexpected @mlnchlymrshmllw @lovelyautumnsunflower @chariphrasis @lovesbooks @komatsuna-yuki @polyvirnl @innocentlyguiltyfrenchfry @qhobias @ive-tumbled-down-a-rabbit-hole @hammalammadamdam @cloudydaysomewhere @alcoholic-barney @basenikon @xxbehindthemaskxx @corporeal-terrestrial @shadowymemoirs @moonlight-densetsuu
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letstalkaboutshtufff · 4 years ago
Text
A Bad Feeling Pt 1
Levi x Reader
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Part 1
Paring: Levi Ackerman x Cadet reader
Warnings: 18+ attempted rape/assault, cursing, mention of injury, violence
Summary: Reader feels uncomfortable around a overly friendly captain. Are they just over reacting? Or is there something else going on. What will Levi do when he finds out?
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A.n. ok so I literally wrote this in one go, it's probably trash but I wanted to post it anyway. Please lemme know what you think in the comments! Thank you!
"Y/n! captain Oro is asking for you" you did your best to hide the discomfort Armins words made you feel.
You smiled what you hoped was a convincing one and nodded. With a deep breath you made your way to Captains Oro's office.
Ever since you had been introduced to him those few weeks ago, he had taken a special liking to you. At first you had been excited, having such a highly skilled and well known captain take notice of you was one of the best feelings. Especially since your squad leader, Levi wasn't exactly heavy on praise.
Everyone loved Captain Oro, he was known for his strength and stamina on the battle field. He was both charismatic, and charming. Your fellow cadets practically swooned over him. You couldn't help but also get caught up in his perfection. At first that is..
Over time you noticed things about your meetings that put you on edge. An unnecessary shoulder touch here, a too low pat on the back there. Something was off. And although you had done your best to distance yourself from him, it was hard when your squads often had to work together.
But it was hard to say anything against him because even your cold blooded captain seemed to enjoy his presence.
Once you brought it up to your friend Sasha, about how you felt he was being too friendly. But she waved her hand and basically said you were worrying for nothing, he was just a friendly guy. And you were being dramatic.
Maybe you were overreacting? If captain levi approved of him, surely that meant he was a decent person right? Maybe he was just being really really friendly.
You decided to give him a chance and knocked on his door when you finally arrived.
"Come in" a muffled voice came from the other side.
With a click you entered the candlelit room. It was nearing sundown after all.
"Ah cadet y/n! Perfect, I was wondering if I might ask your opinion on something?" He smiled angelically and gestured towards a parchment on his desk.
"Of course sir" you nodded and approached him, reminding yourself of what sasha said. Just relax.
From the way the parchment was positioned you had no choice but to come to his side of the desk.
"Do you see this area here?" He gestured to what you now saw was a map. "What do you think of leading a squad through here instead of what we originally planned?"
The next 30 minutes you spent completely and professionally discussing strategies. Being the member of your squad that was best at this, made him asking for you completely justified. You felt bad for ever doubting his intentions.
"Thank you y/n, I think I have a better idea of what course we should pursue on our next expedition" he smiled sincerely.
"I'm glad I could be of service" you nodded and allowed a relaxed smile to pass your features. Feeling stupid you had judged him so harshly.
" If you wouldnt mind just one more thing?" You nodded as he pulled out a stack of papers.
"If you could look over this report of the last mission before I send it out? See if theres anything else to add?"
"Sure, I'd be happy to Captain" you grabbed the stack.
"And please if you can, return them to me tonight, I'll need them for the meeting bright and early"
"Yes sir, I'll finish it asap, good evening" and with that you exused yourself.
Tonight? It was already sundown. Well whatever, hes so busy he probably doesn't know what time of day it is.
You found a quiet spot amonsgt the crowds in the common room and got to work.
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"Oi brat, it's passed curfew, go to your room now, we have important work tommorow" the unmistakable voice of your captain rang through the now empty hall.
You looked up in surprise and meet his usual scowl, not even realizing how late it had gotten.
"Hai, s-sorry captain, I'll go now" you gathered the report and quickly left, not wanting to receive another scolding for taking too long.
Oh crap you still had to deliever the report. Changing routes you snuck quietly down the familiar hallways. Not particularly feeling like running into Levi again. Something about him always made you act just a little dumber and it was definitely not because of your non existent crush on him...definitely not.. he was just intimidating is all.
*knock knock*
You waited patiently but there was no answer. Crap did he already go to bed? But he knew I was coming? Ugh what should I do? He needs these reports..
With a sigh you change direction again and head for his personal chambers. There was no way you were getting in trouble for not delivering these reports on time.
You smiled when you saw dim light flood from beneath the door.
Lightly you knocked, "Captain Oro, its y/n, sorry it's so late but I have the rep-" you were cut off abruptly when the door swung open and there stood Oro.
Except he looked nothing like the Oro you were used too seeing. His hair was loose from it's normal slicked back do, and the edges were dripping slightly. His shirt was loosely thrown on revealing a decent amount of skin. He must've just bathed.. you could see why the girls were so obsessed with him. He was, platonically speaking, a very gorgeous man.
You were taken aback but reminded yourself that you did knock after hours so of course he wasnt going to be all soldiered up.
"U-um s-sorry Captain, I have the reports" you averted your eyes and shoved the reports in his direction.
"Ah y/n, thank you, would you please put them on my table? My hands are still slightly wet." He laughed holding them up innocently.
"S-sure" god why were you stuttering so much, you fight goddamn titans for a living?! But somehow you were more nervous now than when a 10meter was clawing at you.
You entered the room and tried to avoid looking around too much.
You always wondered what the inside of the higher ups rooms look-
*click*
You whipped around, alarm bells suddenly back in full force.
"Captain what are you-"
"You're such a good girl, you know that y/n?" Oros whole demeanor changed and you cursed yourself for not trusting your earlier instincts.
"U-um" you really did not know what to say or do as he took a couple steps closer.
"Always so obedient for me, I think you deserve a reward don't you?"
Shit
"That's not...that's not necessary captain, I really should be going" you tried to lunge for the door but he was quicker and much much stronger.
"I don't believe I dismissed you cadet..." he purred pinning your arms to the door in the blink of an eye.
You were by no means weak, but your struggles were useless against him.
"Let me go" it took all your strength not to stutter in fear.
"How adorable, you know I love it when you follow my orders so well, but I think..." you shivered in disgust as you felt his lips near your neck and press down.
"I'd like to see you fight me as well" you whimpered as he sucked and bit down on the soft flesh.
"S-stop it, p-please" he smirked and looked into your fearful eyes with his lustful ones. "Stop? But that's not what you really want is it? You see I know exactly how girls like you are" he chuckled darkly and moved one of his hands to grip both your arms, while the other slid lower. You gasped when he cupped your breast. "S-stop! I'll, ill scream If you don't!" You felt a tear slide down your shaking form.
"Scream?" He snickered like you had told the funniest joke.
"Go ahead and scream doll, itll be very interesting to see what happens"
"W-what?" You were utterly confused.
"Think about it, if someone walks in on us, what would they think? Seeing a cadet after hours in her superiors chambers?"
"B-but I! I was bringing the reports i wasn't-!"
"Do you honestly think theyll care what you have to say? Who do you think theyll believe y/n? You a nobody cadet who's been fighting titans for 3 seconds? Or me, a selfless hero whos saved countless of scouts lives? All I have to tell them is that you came into my room and tried to seduce me. When I tried to restrain you, you screamed. Who do you think theyll listen too? Why else would you be here so late at night?"
"Y-You're..you're insane, you're not a hero, y-you're a coward who-" he grasped your jaw harshly causing you to wince.
"I'd watch that mouth of yours y/n" he squeezed harder. I am your superior after all, and we wouldnt want any nasty rumors going around that would have you suspended from the survey corps now would we?" He bent down and to your horror pressed his lips against yours.
Fuck fuck what do I do?!? Hes blackmailing me now. I cant fight him, hes too strong, think think think.
But your mind was blank when his cold lips pressed against your lips again. "Open your mouth" he ordered in a voice laced with animilistac lust.
You abruptly turned your head away desperate to get away.
"Heh, always such a tease" he traced a finger up and down your cheek, flipping over your lips. "I'll enjoy this-"
"CAPTAIN ORO, COMMANDER ERWIN REQUESTS YOUR PRESENCE IN HIS OFFICE IMMEDIATELY" a voice shouts from the other side of the locked door.
With an annoyed sigh, Oro pulls away slightly, "Did he say why?" He lazily looks over in the direction of the door.
"NO SIR!"
"guess it can't be helped... Alright tell him I'll be there shortly" he yelled out.
"Hai" the footsteps recended and you stood deathly still.
He pulled away from you and you immediately pulled your wrists to you, they were an angry red, and it scared you how much strength he had so effortlessly displayed.
"Sorry doll, it looks like we'll have to continue this another night" he stepped away and began dressing normally as if he hadn't just been assaulting you 5 second ago. You quickly make for the door but his voice falters your step, "Oh and y/n?"
You dont look at him, but fear held you in place until he finished, "If you mention our little moment to anyone, you know what will happen" you nodded quickly, anything to appease him and get out.
When the door shut behind you, you felt the flood of tears break through.
D-did, d-did that really happen?!?
You held a hand to quiet your sobs and quickly dashed through the hallways.
You're heart thumped and you felt the need to vomit. You hadn't felt this way since the first time youd encounted a titan. All you wanted to do was get to the safety of your room, just through the hall.
It felt like a bucket of cold water had been thrown on you when a cold voice shouted out and halted your movements. Please not now, oh god any time but now.
"Oi cadet y/n are you deaf as well as dumb? I asked you a question.
"Why are you out past curfew?" he sounded definitely annoyed and you gathered all your strength to hold the sobs out of your voice.
Without turning around you answered, "I-I had to deliver some r-reports..I'll head to my room now.." you stepped forward hoping he would let you go but you were not so lucky.
"Oi brat, did you hit your head? I didn't dismiss you yet. Not to mention you haven't even addressed me properly, maybe some time cleaning up horse shit will remind you how to respect your superiors" fuck he was definitely angry now.
Still you didn't turn around, you couldn't..."S-sorry Captain Levi, I'll do better in the future.." you barely could even focus on the words coming out of your mouth, your heart was beating a mile a minute. Please just leave me alone!
"Hahh" Levi uttered in disbelief and severe annoyance, even the most novice of cadets turn around when being spoken to by a superior. "Are you trying to piss me off brat?!?"
"No sir..." still you didnt turn around, but gulped in fear when you heard sharp footsteps near you.
"Cadet y/n, you have three seconds to turn around and salute me properly before I throw you into the cells for insubordination" he ordered in his dangerously calm voice, that you never thought would be directed at you.
Having no other choice you slowly turn around, hoping to god the darkness of the room would be enough to hide your current state.
You kept your head down, letting your hair fall over your face, but gave a proper salute. Hiding the Wince that came when the tender flesh of your wrist had to bend.
Your eyes were trained on the floor. And you tried to remember how to breathe normally again.
"At least you remember how to-" abruptly his harsh scolding stopped.
Why did he stop?! Fuck did he notice something. No no calm down, he probably just is coming up with another punishment...right?
Wrong...
Levi was far from being done with dicisplining you but he caught sight of your bruised wrist and furrowed his brows immediately. He knew for a fact the last time you spoke in the hall those had not been there. He was quick to take in the rest of your demeanor and knew immediately that the reason you were acting disrespectful was because something was wrong.
"Cadet y/n.." he said suspiciously slow and not full of anger anymore.
"Y-yes?" Please dont ask me, please dont ask me, please dont-
"Look at me"
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Part 2 here
Okay so that's part 1! Please comment and lemme know what you think🥰also I'm super sensitive so please no hateful comments. Thanks for reading!
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ellana-ravenwood · 4 years ago
Text
“My fake boyfriend is a billionaire ?!” - Bruce Wayne x Fem!Reader
Synopsis : After a few shitty weeks of everything going wrong, you somehow find yourself faking a relationship with the one and only Bruce Wayne. 
That’s it. I did it. After 3 years posting stories on this platform, I finally succumb to one of the biggest fanfiction cliché of all time haha. The infamous fake boyfriend trope. And I really hope you will like it : 
My masterlist : @ella-ravenwood-archives
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The Gap Year of Disaster
Today, you were an utter mess, and you couldn’t care less.
You know, this kind of days where you wish you would just have stayed in bed ?
Where everything goes wrong and you just want to hide under your blanket and pretend you don't have any responsibilities ?
Well today…Today was most definitely this kind of day.
It was suppose to be your first day at an exciting new job and you were so psyched about it, that you hadn’t been able to sleep all night. 
You finally fell into a deep slumber during the very early hours of the day, and…
Of course you woke up late ! You didn't have time to take a shower, or to do your make-up nicely or even to brush your hair. But worst of all you didn't have time to get coffee !
When you got out with your bike….it was pouring outside. Ah but of course, because when one thing goes wrong everything has to follow. Everything WILL go wrong. Murphy's law or some stupid things like that !
It's in those moments you wish you had a car ! Because when it rained in Gotham…It felt like Noah was ordered to built another ark !
So, sleep deprived, soaked, in a bad mood and looking like a mess, you managed, by some miracle, to arrive at your job on time.
Only to discover that this wasn’t at all what you were expecting. It was NOT what was promised to you, which was experience in an exciting workplace and a way to make the most of it. 
Instead, it was a desk job where you ran errand for everyone. Amazing. 
This was supposed to be your first try at “real life”, this was why you took that gap year from college. 
“I want to find myself, find who I really am !” You told everyone around you, ignoring those who were negative and telling you you should finish your study first. 
Now, as you were stuck in a tiny cubicle with an endless list of coffee orders you had to get for everyone else, you felt like maybe they were right, and that this wasn’t quite the way you were going to “find yourself”. 
Then again, wasn’t it through hardship that this sort of things unlocked ? Wasn’t it with great determination and knowing how it was to struggle, that you were going to thrive ? That’s what they said in TED talks dedicated to “success”...
So far in your life, things had been rather normal. Not particularly easy, but not hard either. You grew up in a small town in New Jersey, no troubles on the horizon. You then moved to Gotham for college as you had a scholarship for Gotham’s University, and as you were about to start your third year you sort of questioned wether or not this was your path...
One of your favorite professor told you to maybe take a gap year. A few semesters off, to think things through. Taking advantage of it to do some soul searching and try to know what you really wanted and...It sounded wonderful ! 
That’s when you started to have job interviews in many different fields, and it took you three months to finally find something. Three very stressful months of wondering how long you could live off of your measly savings, and wether or not you’d have to move back in with your parents (anything but that !)...Not a very good start to that gap year for sure. 
And when you landed what you thought was going to be a great job, things definitely were looking up ! Ah, but the fact that you were chosen while you had NO experience and such, should’ve been your first warning that this was too good to be true. 
You were trying to stay positive though. Maybe it was only for the first day ? Maybe their coffee person was sick or something ? It’d get more interesting later ? Yes. Yes let’s keep a positive outlook on everything. 
Except right now, as your entire morning was made of you walking up and down the building (the elevator was not working, but of course), to the coffee shop at the corner of the street, and bringing back orders for people, you didn’t feel in the mood to try and stay cheery. 
And the worst in all that ? You didn't even get ONE cup for yourself…This “real life” thing was not starting very well. 
And so here you were, during your lunch break, looking like a mess, bag under your eyes and still wet from the rain (your trips up and down the street for coffee runs not helping drying yourself off), your morale at its lowest..And…
"That'll be 3 dollars and 50 cents for the large latte with triple espresso shot, m'am."
Catastrophe. 
Proof that things could ALWAYS get worst. 
As you were looking through your bag, you couldn't find your wallet !
Did you leave it at home ?! Maybe. 
People at your work gave you the money to buy them coffee (and not a single tips, bunch of cheapskates). And you didn’t notice you were missing that oh so essential part of your daily life...Your credit card. Or any type of money. 
Damn it ! 
“Um, excuse me miss, that’s 3,50 please ?”
“Oh yes yes, um, you know what I just-” 
“Here, miss, you dropped this.” 
As you were about to explain that in fact, you didn’t need coffee (even if when you asked for it you might’ve mentioned it being a question of “life or death”), too embarrass to admit you didn’t have the money to buy it, a...very handsome man handed you a twenty dollars bill. 
You were a hundred percent sure this wasn’t yours. You never carry lose cash like this. A quick look to his kind deep blue eyes, and soft smile, and you realize...
Oh. Great. A total (very handsome) stranger took pity of you. 
You probably looked even worst than you felt. You were about to say this was a mistake, but before you could, he gave the bill to the barista, and left with a last smile to you, taking his own cup of coffee away with him. 
Damn. You didn’t have time to say “thank you”. He vanished as fast as he appeared, disappearing in the crowd of the busy coffee shop. 
“Here’s your change, m’am.” 
“Ah you know what ? Keep it buddy. Thanks for the coffee.” 
“Wow, thanks !” 
You were pretty sure that barista never had such a big tip, and it oddly made you feel better, to make someone else’s day like that. Your grandma did always say that you found true joy from helping others...
Oh, yeah, ok, you just helped someone out, why was the universe so angry at you ?! 
As you turned around and started to leave, almost at the exist of the shop, mood a little better after this nice encounter with a (again, handsome) stranger, and the barista, you see him. 
Him. One of the reason you sort of decided to take a gap year. 
Him. 
Your ex-boyfriend, Eric, who cheated on you with your friend Monica. Needless to say, it wasn’t a good memory. And you hadn’t seen neither him nor her since you left college, especially not since you heard they actually got together. 
Your FRIEND. With your BOYFRIEND. And it went on for a while, before you finally discovered it (that day was as shitty as today...). 
Oh. And of course Eric wasn’t alone. She, was there too. The one you thought was your friend, and who stabbed you in the back like that. Both of them discarding you like a dirty old sock. 
Great. Really. Awesome. This day was going from “bad” to “please kill me.” 
“(Y/N) !” 
He looks surprised to see you, although also a little pleased. And it makes you want to punch him in the face. You don’t care if it’s because he wished things ended another way, they both betrayed your truth and then never even tried to talk to you again afterward. 
You’re not sure you would’ve forgave them, but at least, it would’ve shown they still cared about you in a way. Nobody chooses who they’re going to fall in love with (that, you’d soon discover for yourself). But she was your best friend. And he was with you for over a year. 
She’s a little more awkward than him, and smiles, clearly embarrassed. You always knew she was a bit of a coward, if she wasn’t, she would’ve face you, right ? 
And that’s when it happened. The decision that would forever change your life.
In this great moment filled with despair and awkwardness.
From the corner of your eyes, you saw that nice stranger who paid for your coffee. The handsome one. He didn’t leave the shop, but instead went to seat at a table that was a little further away than the rest of them. 
His eyes were glued to his phone, and you thought : “Well, fuck it, all this can’t get any worst right ?”
You were sort of hoping that, since he had been nice with you once and offered you those twenty dollars without knowing you (although you were very aware it was probably just pity), maybe he could help again ? 
Maybe it was the fatigue, the fact you were getting sadder and sadder, that you had a terrible day, and that you just saw two people you loved and who threw you away like you meant nothing (oh but not before being super fake to you, pretending they WEREN’T cheating behind your back)...maybe it was a combination of all of that, that made you act crazy. 
But here you found yourself, sitting at that stranger’s table, and saying, as he looked up from his phone clearly surprised : 
“How are you guys ? As you can see, I’m great.” 
You don’t dare to look at the handsome stranger, and hope he’ll be too stunned to say anything, and you can make your ex-friend and ex-boyfriend feel embarrass enough they’ll leave quickly. But then Monica says something that makes your heart skip multiple beats : 
“You...You know Bruce Wayne ?!” 
You turn to the man who gracefully paid for your coffee, and your eyes go wide. Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. How did you NOT recognize him ?! Of course. Chiseled face, beautiful blue eyes, a suit that was definitely worth your entire year’s salary, a very charming aura...
Your hazy mind full of “fuck this day” didn’t register that THE Bruce Wayne, was the one who helped you out. How did you miss that ? His face had been plastered everywhere in Gotham for the past year, since he came back to the city, in fact. 
You hear yourself wish with all your might to be struck by lightning this instant, as the two assholes who hurt you so much are looking at you expectantly and are not about to live (of course, they just met celebrity BRUCE WAYNE !! Could someone be as unlucky as you were today ?!)
And that’s when you hear a chuckle, a beautiful deep chuckle, and finally turn to look at Bruce. He smiles at you, and takes your hand, saying : 
“Honey, who are your friends ?” 
Your brain go full “ERROR 404″, not quite able to grasp the fact that THE Bruce Wayne just ran with what you were trying to do. How ? How was this possible ? You initially went to sit with him in the hope that Eric and Monica would see you were totally ok and with a hot date, not quite sure still yet how you ever thought this was a good idea and...
It was turning out alright ?! 
HOW ?! 
“Oh um, I’m..Eric. And this is my gir...This is Monica.” 
What a piece of shit. Not even brave enough to call her his “girlfriend” when he cheated on you with her for months and months. You glare at him, unable to stop this gut reaction. 
And that’s something Bruce caught. 
In fact, as soon as you sat down, avoiding looking at him and nervously looking at those two people, Bruce sort of knew you were in an uncomfortable situation. One that made you take an irrational decision. 
And oh, he didn’t like the look Eric and Monica gave you. Like they felt superior as they caught you in a bad moment. Bruce hated, people who thought they were superior to others... 
And you clearly seemed in distress and in need of help so...He ran with it. 
Bruce had to pretend to be someone he wasn’t enough that it felt natural, to run along with what your hazy mind thought was a good idea. 
“Nice to meet you, are you friends with-” 
Damn it. He realized he didn’t know your name. Quick thinking saved him, and he managed to keep his tone even, as to hide his hesitation : 
“My love ?” 
His hand around yours felt warm and reassuring, and you still couldn’t believe that, not only a total stranger, but THE Bruce Wayne was helping you out like that. Especially after you had such a bad day. 
Him calling you his “love” made your exes feel very awkward, and they shake their head “no”, suddenly pretending they’re very busy and have to meet up with someone. They leave the coffee shop, clearly stunned, whispering things to each others that you knew were probably : “how did she get a guy like him ?!”
You can’t help but glare at them some more...But then your hand feels cold again, and you realize Bruce let go off it. Well. Duh. Of course he would. 
You turn to him, your feature softening, and say : 
“Are you an angel ?” 
Ah yes. Your defense mechanism. “Humor”. 
He chuckles, and says : 
“Well, I’m afraid not. My butler would think this is very funny. But thank you.” 
Awkwardly, you rub your neck, your free hand nervously turning your cup of coffee clockwise in your palm. You don’t really know how to end this, what : “thanks for that” and leave ? 
“Thanks for the coffee. And for um...Saving my ass, just there.” 
He smiles, and wow hello white teeth and charming dimples ?! 
“You’re very welcome. They looked like they were jerks.” 
“Haha oh you have no idea.” 
“Glad I could help.” 
“Thanks again. Really. This means a lot, especially since we don’t know each others. Well, I know you. Everyone in Gotham does haha. And ok I’m going to leave now, my lunch break is almost over and I don’t want to make this even more awkward.” 
You start to rise up, but he holds you back by catching your sleeve, and says : 
“Actually miss…?”
“(Y/L/N). (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”
“Miss (Y/L/N), you are kind of saving my life right now.”
“…I am ?”
A flash blinds you. Not a lightning, a camera flash. You turn, just in time to see a guy hastily hiding a camera and running away. 
“What the...” 
“A paparazzi. Good timing, for once.” 
“Huh ?” 
You wish you had some witty come back, or would just know what to say. But you’re confused. And this has been a really weird day. 
“I am sorry if this will seem forward, or like I helped you wanting something in exchange. But I promise I will make it worth your while if you just sit back down and listen to me for a few minutes.” 
You sit back down. More because you’re unsure your leg can still support you in this moment, than because he asked you to. With a smile he continues : 
“Thank you. So. Let me explain a little, and again, sorry if this is too forward. If you don’t want to help of course, I would understand. I’m about to ask you something rather odd, I guess. And I’ll clear things up with paparazzis. I also promise I did not help you with your “friends”-”
“They’re not my friends.” 
“I figured that much. And I promise I didn’t help you with them and ran with whatever you were trying, just so I could ask you this.” 
“Ask me what ?” 
“Well, you see…it’s arranged marriage season.”
“What ?”
“Every year, every single rich family try to make me marry their single daughters. It’s a very tiring season, but I’ve never been able to avoid it…I thought about having a fake fiancee before but could never find the right person.”
What he says does not register with you. His clear proposal doesn’t hit your brain. And you just stare at him, waiting for him to keep going. But he doesn’t, and by the way he looks at you, you slowly starts to understand where he’s getting at. 
You gasp, now pretty sure this is all a dream (or a nightmare) and say : 
“And I’m the right person ?”
“Well, yes. You seem to be a...“normal” person.”
“…Thanks.”
“In that case it’s good. It’s very good. It means that if I’m dating you, a woman that has nothing to bring me, then it must be true love.”
“Wow, stop with the flatteries already mister Wayne, I can’t handle it…”
Ah, your slight wits are back. Good sign that you’re regaining your senses. Everything that happened in the last ten minutes still feel like a bad dream, but you’re back in reality now. 
“No no no, I didn’t mean it in a demeaning way ! But it’s just, you’re not rich, and you’re not famous or have political ties. You’re just a regular person. So they won’t think I’m trying to trick them, even if I am, do you know what I mean ?”
“Gotcha. My broke ass person cannot bring you any value, so it must be love and not just an arranged thing they can break. Cool.”
There’s a slight silence. And you find it a little fun, to play a little bit with the famous Bruce Wayne. He seemed so confident and cocky on TV, you never thought you’d be able to make him look so guilty. 
“I’m sorry if I offended you.”
He says, clearly meaning it. But you shake your head and smile at him (and oh why does he feel his heart tightening slightly at your smile ?), and reassure him instantly (you feel a little bad, actually, to mess with him while he did just really do a huge favor to you while he had no obligations to) : 
“Haha, just messin’ around with ya Mster Wayne. I’m not bothered by it, it’s the truth. I’m really broke, and I don’t think you could find more “regular” than me right now. So, and because you really did save my ass from an extremely displeasing experience back there. And also because you allowed me to see those assholes’ face of surprise and “how did she manage that ?!”, tell me more about your plan, and let’s see if I can help you back.”
And so Bruce starts to explain to you how, every year, this beginning of Fall is the worst time ever, as it’s a moment where everyone seems to want to marry off their daughter. And of course, Bruce Wayne is a good “party”. 
The plan was fairly simple. You’d fake a relationship with him, so he could avoid all of this, and in exchange...Well. You’d gain a lot in exchange. 
This is how you started to really feel like you had fallen into a “romcom” by accident...You and Bruce, became an actual living trope. 
************
“And then when the “marrying season” is done, you can break it off.”
“I ?”
“Well yes, I can assure you you’ll gain quite a rep if you break up with me haha.”
You raise an eyebrow, unsure you like that sort-of overly confident side of him. But you can see something behind his eyes, like a slight unsureness as he looks back at you, trying to see if you’ll agree or not.
“I don’t really need a “reputation”.”
Breaking up with THE Bruce Wayne himself. For sure people would talk about it a lot, and maybe it would help open some doors for you ? But you felt a little odd taking advantage of this like that. 
Seeing that he hadn’t convinced you quite yet, he adds : 
“Of course, I will pay you.” 
What kind of Pretty Woman sort of nonsense was this ?! You were about to protest when he added, realizing how he sounded : 
“I mean, you ARE doing me a great service. You ARE going to have to act, you know ? An...actual job ? And I will be honest with you, it won’t be easy, to find yourself in the public eye. I think it definitely justify a salary.” 
Put that way, you had to admit that, well, yeah it sort of did. Especially since you knew how crazy tabloids were about Bruce Wayne. Becoming his “girlfriend” would definitely put you on the front lines. 
“And it would truly help me tremendously.” 
Your grandma always said it : “True joy comes out from helping others !” So. What if you benefit from it a little ? If it helps you financially, and you can get a little network out of it ? First rule of Alchemy (what a weeb) : “equivalent exchange” ! Plus, he did really help you with your coffee, but also with Eric and Monica so...
And hey, this gap year was meant to help you find what and who you wanted to be. Help you go through this little twenty-something crisis. And this ? Living a literal romantic comedy cliche by faking being someone’s girlfriend ? Well, it definitely felt like the kind of adventure that could help you figure things out.  
With a smile, you finally nod and shake his hand, not knowing quite yet in which mess you actually put yourself into...
Briefing. 
Like every “secret mission”, this one too needed a “briefing”. 
A little meeting to put all the rules down, and the goals too. 
And here you were, feeling very out of place in a huge conference room in the biggest and tallest building in Gotham : “Wayne Tower”.  
The concierge stared at you for a very long time, when you said you were there to see Mister Wayne. No “nobody” like you ever called for his boss. 
Suspicious, as it was his job, he called security on you...Until it was finally cleared up that you DID have a meeting with Bruce Wayne ! 
Both the concierge, and the security guys, stared at you as you left to take the elevators they indicated to you, wondering who the hell had the kind of credentials to go all the way up there to see their boss ?! They didn’t recognize you from anywhere, not a model, not a famous politician or CEO, just...A regular person ? 
That was odd. And they noticed, it was odd. Which you assumed was what Bruce was aiming for, but it felt so awkward, to walk through this huge hall under their scrutiny. 
You finally arrived on the right floor, and oh look, some more staring. 
From his secretary, this time. She was used to see women coming to see her boss. But they’d usually wear Prada, and have plunging necklines full of pearls and fanciness. They weren’t...like you. 
You felt like it was easy, to know that you were just a “normal” person. You were definitely not wearing any designer clothes, and you were pretty sure the way you carried yourself made you super obvious. 
Hence all the staring. You could clearly see in her eyes, that she was wondering who the hell you were... 
She had her answer when Bruce came out of his office, and made a gesture as if he was going to throw his arm around your waist, and kiss you (which made you downright panic). But then, he looked awkwardly at his secretary, and instead just shook your hand. 
Something that DID NOT go unnoticed by his secretary. 
You saw how her eyes widen, and how she clearly hitched to take her phone out and call everyone...and you realized Bruce did this awkward thing because he knew his secretary, and her tendency to be a little gossipy. 
You’d discover later, in fact, that he hired her entirely because he knew if he said something, she would pick up on it and it would help him control rumors and such. Clever. 
For the moment though, he took you to a large conference room with huge windows. 
“I’m sorry for the weird “hello” back there, I wanted Shirley to think I was embarrassed to display affection to you in front of her. Usually, I do not mind at all. So doing it would make her think that-”
“I’m someone special to you.” 
“Exactly !” 
He smiles widely as you understood his plan (not sure how you felt about it, then again, that’s why you were here for, making sure you knew where both of you stood in all this), and then tells you he’ll be back in a few minutes. 
You have time to feel anxious and stressed before he finally comes back. 
“Sorry for the wait.” 
“Oh no, I bet you’re a busy man.” 
“Yes well. Anyway. Let’s get to it shall we ?” 
“Yes.” 
“Ok. So. I thought we’d settle sort of a little contract, so neither of us ever feel uncomfortable ?” 
“Sounds good, mister Wayne.” 
“Yes well first, please call me Bruce.” 
“Only if you call me (Y/N).” 
Oh and you two were still on the path of “romcom cliches”, with this conversation. He smiles, nods, and continues : 
“Ok, then I thought we could-” 
And so your fake relationship started, with some little ground rules. Like he could only kiss you after you gave him permission, if you ever felt overwhelmed everything would be called off, etc etc. 
Most rules were in your favor, to be honest. And WOW the paycheck he was going to give you for this little farce...Hey, maybe this gap year was finally gonna get interesting ?
Meeting the Little Buddy. 
It was sort of necessary. By then, Dick had been his son, officially, for a few months. He wasn’t calling him “dad” yet (and Bruce didn’t particularly want him to, at the time...ah but everything change one day, right ?), but they were already family. 
And it was a needed step. 
It wasn’t in the little “contract” you made, and honestly you could’ve refused to meet him but...Well, you liked kids. In another life, it felt like you could’ve been a teacher (A/N : AH, like in this story ;) : “Can you be my dad’s girlfriend, please ?” ). 
And you’d feel awkward, to fake a relationship and not ever meet his boy. 
The first time he saw you, it was at the Wayne Tower, and his eyes widened as he exclaimed : 
“Wow you’re so pretty ! Are you Bruce’s girlfriend ? You’re too good for him, you know.” 
You could feel your heart melt, how adorable this little guy was, right ? You chuckled, and almost full on laughed as you saw how vexed Bruce was by the comment. 
Not that he thought he was too good for you, no, he was just a little unhappy his son was stealing the show, and thought he couldn’t land someone like you...Oh but that, you couldn’t guess at the time, of course. 
“Nice to meet you, Dick. I’m (Y/N). And...I’m not really his girlfriend.” 
“Can you be mine then ?” 
You laugh again. You and Bruce had decided to tell him the truth, Bruce assuring you that kid was good at pretending too. You answer : 
“No, I’m saving him from marriage proposal.” 
“Oooooh !” 
Good at pretending. Dick had no idea what you were on about, but he was very good at acting as if he knew. 
It’s only way later, that he finally got it. By then, he already accepted you as : “his dad’s girlfriend”, and even knowing the truth, there was no way to change his mind. And to be honest, out of everyone, little Dick Grayson was probably the most aware of what the situation truly was. 
He had a knack, to notice how people felt. 
A “family” outing.
Two months in, and it was going GREAT. Faking a relationship was actually pretty easy. All you had to do was hanging out with him (and he was very nice to hang out with), and when a paparazzi was around, quickly kiss his cheek, or hold his hand, or let him put his hand in your hair...All those cute things new couples do. 
Today was one such small date. 
You could see Bruce was nervous, though.
After hanging around with him that many times, you started to know him a little better. Started to know he wasn’t really that persona he portrayed publicly.
He was actually quite a dork. What a pity, nobody else would ever know his real self...Yet, it made you happy you were one of the few in on the secret.
“Ok, out with it mister, what’s up ?”
He looks at you with such surprise in his eyes, as if it was the first time someone guessed what he was feeling...and, well, yes. It was. It was the first time someone who wasn’t Alfred got it. Someone realized something was on his mind. And asked him about it, didn't just ignore and move on. Actually cared to know. 
“I-Um...”
“Well ? Come on, I think literally nothing can surprise me by now, given you know, I’m faking a relationship with a billionaire, and it’s like, my job now.”
He smiles, and he couldn't possibly know how soft his look was, as he gazed at you.
“I...well, people don’t quite believe in us because-”
“WHAT ?! With all the “dates” and kisses and lovey dovey shit we did ?!”
He chuckles at your reaction, loving how honest you always were, and adds :
“The problem apparently is that you weren’t seen with my son yet, so many don’t believe we’re serious.”
“Oh...”
You met Dick. Because it felt like a necessary step to yours and Bruce’s scheme. And you knew he knew this was all fake...But neither of you wanted to confuse the boy in any way so he was kept mostly out of the plan.
“I talked to him, and it’s actually really up to wether you’re comfortable with it or not. I know he wasn’t part of our contract, and I should’ve probably thought about it, I’m sorry. But um...If you’re ok with it, we could..Do things with him, too ?”
Bruce is really nervous; And you’re pretty sure no one but you (and maybe Alfred) ever saw him like that. It’s kind of...sweet. But you let the silence linger for too long and he hurries to say :
“You really don’t have to ! It’s ok if they don’t think we’re that serious and I get some proposals. I can manage ! You’re still a great help right now. It was just an idea. Dick is a very social kid, he would go along with anything and loves to do activities outside. He would be fine. But if you’re not then we can-”
“No. No no it’s...It’s ok Bruce. The few time I saw him, Dick did seem absolutely a peach to be around. And I always have fun with you, so sure, let’s organize a little something and show those bastards we’re totally real.”
You chuckle a little, your smile and carefree face making his heart skip a beat, for some reasons...Bruce also decided to ignore how happy it made him, to know you were always glad to be with him, and instead, he smiled and settled a date.
************
And here you were. In one of Gotham’s biggest park, opening a basket full of delicious sandwiches made by the one and only Alfred. Pretending to have a great family outing.
“Hey, hey look !”
Dick was absolutely amazing, at acting as if you were really a thing. As if you were really a “family”. Right now, he was doing flips and cartwheels, demanding your attention with avidity.
Bruce made sure to always hide his face from pictures (he was GREAT at noticing where paparazzis were hiding, a life of practice, you assumed), as he wanted to keep as much as he could his son’s privacy (especially after he made all the headlines when he lost his parents).
It was quite adorable. And...You were really having fun.
Dick was such a lively kid, and he was full of talents. The food was good, and it was so comfortable around Bruce. It felt so natural.
This wasn't all that bad. To fake being a family. A good use of your gap year, really. 
You purposefully decided to ignore the glint in the boy’s eyes. The way you sort of suspected for him, this was getting real, and not only pretend.
You and Bruce purposefully ignored it, actually. And you both felt shitty for it. Because not only were you risking to break that little boy’s heart when it was all over but...It was too hard to accept that maybe, maybe he was right.
And that all of this ? Might’ve not been as fake as you’d love to repeat yourself.
First Official outing. 
First gala. You were terrified. So far all you had to do was hang out with Bruce in the afternoon, there and there. It mainly consisted in him buying you coffee, and keeping the addiction to caffeine real, while talking about anything that would come to your mind. The conversations between you two was always fluid and pleasant. 
Or you’d go out with him and Dick, to do some fun things like mini-golf or catching a movie. Nothing too big and scary. It was mainly just you guys, no one else. 
It seemed like he knew where the paparazzis would be (most likely because he was “anonymously” tipping them off himself), and he’d take you on random short dates when he had time in between his work, slowly fueling the rumors Bruce was not a heart to steal anymore. 
And that he was dating a “commoner” ! (He hated this name for you, while you really didn’t mind that much). 
And this gala, was what made it completely official. Finally. It was your idea, to take things “slow”, and hang out with him and his son BEFORE hanging out in public areas like this. 
It was clever, really. To make it seems like you were trying to “hide” your relationship by being low-key, to then finally announce everything in public like that, at such an event. 
Bruce went to get a drink for the both of you, and you were looking around you, horrified at the mere idea that someone would come talk to you. 
But for some reasons, nobody seemed to dare. Maybe Bruce made sure that people would leave you alone ? Even as if you were clearly the talk of the evening, all eyes on you, and not even trying to be subtle ? 
You knew he did the same with little Dickie. That he made sure he was safe from the paparazzi and that no unsolicited journalist would come around him.
Thinking of it, where was the little one ? Usually, according to Bruce, whenever there was a gala he would spend his entire time near the food table, eating as much as he could, and he would come home feeling nauseous because of it...Haha sounded like Dick alright. That kid was so-
Oh oh.
Who was that sleazy looking gal talking to him ? He seemed so uncomfortable, yet too polite to brush her off...Oh no, she wasn’t one of them, was she ?
Without thinking twice about it, wether it was your place to do what you were about to do or not, you resolutely walked towards them.
“-Think it’s because he relates to you ? As both of you lost your parents in horrific situations, you know ?”
“I-I don’t know m’am.”
When you saw Dick’s distressed face, and his eyes slowly filling with tears, there was no doubt in your mind.
This woman was not supposed to be there, and was definitely not supposed to talk to that child...
This woman was a - shiver of disgust- tabloid journalist.
Your blood boiled as you saw her take a picture of the teary eyed Dickie, and you were standing protectively in front of him before you could even think about it. When you felt the boy clutch to your sleeve, hiding behind you and holding on for dear life, you knew you wouldn’t regret it.
“Can I ask you why you’re talking to that boy, please ?”
“What, it’s illegal to talk to fellow guests now ?”
“Lady, you’re well in your thirties. He’s eight. You have no right talking to him. Not only is it weird, but I know what you’re doing.”
“Oh, and pray tell, what am I doing, lovey ?” 
“You’re trying to get a story out of him. And you should be ashamed of yourself. He’s eight ! And from what I heard, you were asking some very disgusting things back there !” 
“I-”
“Shut up.”
Your words came out harsh and determined, and the woman was so shocked she stayed silent for a while. You crouch down to Dick’s level, and ask : 
“Are you ok, my little buddy ?” 
He nods weakly, and then burst into tears as he launches himself in your arms, clinging to you tightly. You turn your head towards the woman, glaring at her so fiercely she doesn’t dare to take a picture of the scene, even as she knows she could sell them for a golden price. 
“You should be ashamed of yourself. He’s just a child !” 
The woman was about to say something else, something you knew would fuel your anger further, when Bruce arrived, and it was clear from his face that he was not happy. 
A quick look to you holding his crying son in your arms, and to the lady with the camera in her hands, and he understand what happened. With a cold voice you never heard him use before, he says : 
“I suggest you leave the area now, before I force you to.” 
There was something almost scary, in his demeanor. Almost like...No. Impossible. In any case, you didn’t worry about it much, drawing soothing circles with your hand on Dick’s back, trying to calm him. 
People around quickly stopped staring as they met Bruce’s assassin glare. It was not secret, that he was very protective of his son. And of his new girlfriend, apparently. 
You picked the little boy in your arms (Dick, at the time, was still so tiny), and Bruce comes closer, trying to soothe him too. And it really looked like all this was real...
Dick fell asleep in Bruce’s arms shortly after that, and was still there when it was time for the gala official pictures. Not wanting to wake him up, for once, Bruce allowed people to photograph the boy, as long as they did not frame his face. 
He laid his free hand on the small of your back, and just like you got used to those past months, you pretend to be head over heels for him and have one of your own arm around his waist.  
“Would you please allow me to kiss you on the cheek, for the cameras ?”
His question is so sweet, softly whispered in your ears. And you felt like a tease tonight, and maybe a little tipsy too. You tell him : 
“On the cheek only ? Let’s give them a show no ? Let them forget about what happened with Dick.”
Of course, you’re only joking, but there’s a light in Bruce’s eyes you haven’t seen before and...It disappears quickly. He chuckles, of that low chuckles that would charm anyone in the world, and says :
“I don’t want to force you to do anything you wouldn’t want to. Actually kissing me, I realize, might be too much.”
You know he caught on your joke, but you can’t brush off that light in his eyes that ignited when you suggested to kiss him...You don’t know why, and it feels you’re not controlling your own words, as you hear yourself say :
“Oh because kissing you would be such a horrible thing wouldn’t it ? Oh my, you’re only one of the handsomest man in Gotham, a rather attractive fella, how could I handle kissing you ? So disgusting !”
Your tone is teasing, and a little bit challenging. He catches on that, too. He answers : 
“But I am merely here to serve. I will do as you wish. You only have to say the words.” 
His smile fills your vision. His face. And the way he softly holds your waist, even as his other arms is carrying his son (the man was BUILT). And you think...Well, fuck it ! It was time for the first (fake) kiss, right ? 
Right here, in front of the cameras, where everyone was seeing you. Making it go full circle. Making it “official”. 
“Kiss me then, if you dare.” 
You simply say. Releasing a breath you were unaware you were keeping in. And he feels his heart squeeze, and as if he’s sweating a bit. When was the last time he was nervous about kissing a woman ? 
He couldn’t remember. 
And then he kisses you, the flashes of cameras slowly fading away as his lips melt onto yours. 
Wow. What a perfect, and nice, first kiss. 
As fake as it might be.
Your room. 
Your room at Wayne Manor was bigger than your entire apartment. 
You and Bruce decided that sometimes, so you wouldn’t raise any suspicion, you’d sleep at the Manor. Paparazzi were so on top of everything, it would seem weird if he was in a “committed relationship” and you never slept at his place. 
So Alfred settled a room for you. 
Oh. Alfred ! You met him not long ago, and he was the best ! 
It felt like he could magically guess what you wanted when you wanted it, and magically appeared with that warm cup of tea you craved, or that meal you’ve been thinking about all day. 
But beyond that, he was genuinely nice and made sure to make you as comfortable as possible. He showed you around, and his conversation was so pleasant ! 
You could actually see a lot of Bruce in him. Or, rather, it was evident that Alfred had raised Bruce most of his life, because they had a lot of similar mannerism, and were both kind and caring (Ah, imagine if Superman knew what you thought of Bruce, how crazy it’d sound to him eh ? But of course, that you’d discover way WAY later). 
You never went to explore much when it was time to go to bed, too afraid to get lost. This place was huge, and you never quite had a good sense of orientation. 
One could only wonder, what would you have discovered if you ever dared to wake up during the night, and explore his home ?
Build a Bear. 
Sometimes, Bruce really had to wrack his brain for original date ideas. Ever since he came back to Gotham, his dating days consist of pretending to sleep with every model in the World. 
He’d take them to fashion shows, to galas, to charity events...All very public places, unsuitable for a “serious” relationship like he was hoping to make yours and his pass for. 
Enter : Clever little Dickiebird, who always had an idea (and who might’ve been the best wingman someone like the Batman needed...that, of course, he’d discover it way, WAY later) :
“You can take her to a build a bear !” 
“Build...a bear ?” 
“Yeah, you know. You go and you make your own teddy bear !” 
“I do know, I took you to get Chester - the name of Dick’s favorite plushie toy now, and maybe with which he slept-. But...For a date ?” 
“What ? It’s cute and intimate !” 
“Huh ?” 
It has been a long time, since Alfred Pennyworth had to hold his laughter in that hard, and try to stay impeccably neutral. And there, faced with his master Bruce, who was known as the “ultimate womanizer”, the “perfect playboy”, and who was currently taking advice from his eight years old son...It was really hard to keep a straight face. 
It was also incredibly adorable. Especially how Bruce seemed to genuinely listen to the little one, unaware that he seemed actually way too interested for things just to be for his “fake relationship” to be more convincing. 
Not that Alfred was going to tell Bruce anything. 
“Dick, you know (Y/N) isn’t really my girlfriend, right ?” 
The way the boy talked about taking you to a date, felt to Bruce like he was forgetting this was all fake. And it was important to remind him.
But Dick had to invoke all the efforts in the world to not roll his eyes as to say : “sure she isn’t”, by now, it was oh so obvious to everyone but you and Bruce that there was a very real thing forming between you two. 
Instead, he said : 
“But you’re suppose to make the public really believe it right ? If you take her to build a bear, I can assure you they will think you guys are the real deal.” 
Bruce pondered this for a little bit, and realized that his son was right. It did seem like a cute and intimate date to bring your girl to, even if she was your fake girl...
Ah. Bruce forgot his own words. “Dick is great at pretending.” He is. He really is. Just like right now, he was pretending his idea was completely innocent, while he knew it would bring you two ever so closer. 
That whenever you’d see those bears you were going to build in your home, you’d think of one another. And remember fondly of the memory. 
And oh. Oh that boy was right. 
Your bear was sitting proudly on your couch, and every time you saw it, you remembered how clumsy Bruce had been, filling his own bear up. And how cute he was, carefully thinking of his options. 
And every time Bruce saw his own bear, that Alfred, for some reason, settled in the Batcave on the “trophy shelves” (and for some reason Bruce didn’t take it off of it...), he couldn’t help but think how he had genuine fun that day. 
Genuine fun, for the first time in what felt like ages. And how your smiling and giggling face didn’t seem to leave his mind, whenever he saw that bear...
Conniving traitors. 
“We both agree, he’s in love with her right ? He’s just too dense to realize it.” 
“Oh yes, young Master Richard, he definitely is. And he is dense, at times.” 
“Should we do anything ?”
“No more than what you’re already doing.” 
“Which is ?” 
“Which is continuing to push them in the...Right direction.”
“Oh ! I get it ! I’ll keep going Al’!” 
“And I’m sure you’ll make miracles, young master.” 
Dick’s smile to the old butler was so pure and happy, that Alfred had a hard time keeping his composure once again. 
And oh. Oh how he wish they were right, and that his Master Bruce would FINALLY allow himself to be happy... 
Rumors and Truth 
Bruce was just a tiny bit older than you. 24, according to his wikipedia page. 
And you couldn't help but be a little jealous, as you were looking at the page to re-enroll yourself in Gotham’s university, knowing he was done with college.
Then again, he was obviously a genius and would’ve been done faster than you anyway, even if you were the same age, since he finished his PhD just the year before, while most people don't even START their doctorate until they're around 23/24. 
Mmmm. Made you think. Was this just yet another rumors about the man ? 
Maybe not, after all it was proven he started college at age 14, and in Ivy Leagues ones, all across the world. 
From Cambridge, to Oxford, without forgetting La Sorbonne (A/N : by the way, this is canon haha, Bruce really did start college that early and went to many different places, and honestly, is anyone surprised ?). 
This wasn't really something you absolutely couldn't believe, compared to other crazy rumors about him. And you knew he WAS smart. 
By then, you couldn't count how many things were circulating about him, and how hard it was to know the truth from just plain old rumors. 
He had over a thousand lovers, he had MORE than one PhD (impossible, right ?), he had died once but survived somehow, he was part of a cult, he often lost his status as a billionaire because he gave so much money to charities and such, but his companies meddled in so many areas that his bank account was always filled more and more…
Honestly that last part didn't really surprise you. You saw him gave his money away to things he cared about (like education and medical care) without a second thoughts, so the fact he constantly oscillated between "billionaire" and "multi-millionaire" didn't really surprise you, not when you knew him like you did now. 
You totally trusted the rumors that said that by now, he gave away more than he currently owned. It sounded like him alright…But how to know the truth from the downright crazy ? Did he really have a PhD or was this just an addition to how special and different Bruce Wayne was in Gotham ? What kind of PhD did he have anyway ? 1000 lovers, really ?!
So many questions. And not a lot of answers. Even if you grew closer (as friends, of course), Bruce was still somewhat of a mystery to you. 
He never really tried to dismiss rumors, even the bad ones (unless they touched his son). Which made you wonder if they were true or not. And you really, really, for some reasons, wanted to know more about him...
“Is something the matter ?” 
He asks. Oh goddamn you, day dreaming on one of your regular “coffee date”. 
You shake your head, sipping on your drink and say : 
“Was just thinking about...Tabloids.” 
“Ah.” 
He frowns. For understandable reasons.
“I was just thinking about wether some rumors were true or not.” 
“What do you think is not true ?” 
“I don’t really know, and you never really say a rumor is false so it’s hard to know.” 
“Do you want to know anything in particular ?” 
Bruce knows it’s dangerous, to let you enter his private life like that. There’s a reason, after all, why he never dismisses any rumors. 
It helped build his fake persona, and take away any suspicions that he might be the infamous Batman. 
But he felt weak, around you. As if he just wanted to please you, no matter what. Sometimes, he felt dangerously close to just tell you : “ask me anything and I’ll tell you the truth”, even if it meant revealing his night activities...
Crazy, right ? 
He knew it was. And that he shouldn’t let it happen. Yet here he was, asking if you wanted to know something. Craving your attention. It felt so unlike him. But...You seemed to unlock a certain part of him. 
The one that didn’t die with his parents, and remained hidden. The one that was the old little Bruce, full of hope, honesty and happiness. Full of wish for the future...Even if he knew there was none. 
“How was college, for you ?” 
You hear yourself asking, really wondering if it was true he was 14 when he started, and if it was...How different you guys were, right ? You were 21 right now, and taking a gap year after two years of college...When he was your age, he had already finished a master (or even maybe two). 
"My college years were actually pretty boring, and unlike some rumors say, weren't particularly wild. I was really young."
"Ah, I heard the rumors."
"Those are true, I'm afraid haha."
"Afraid ? You're a genius !"
Which is why you found, more and more, his "himbo" persona to be odd. WHat was Bruce Wayne trying to hide ? Mmm…
Bruce recognized that look in your eyes. The look of someone who was onto something, and it was too frightening to let it happen. So he said :
"Yes well, I feel I missed a lot, during those years. Which is why I make it up now hahaha !"
His boisterous laughter seemed genuine, and totally fooled you. You couldn't always be on top of everything eh ? And this, did answer your question about his himbo persona…Oh, Bruce was good.
And he knew it. He trained for years, to make sure nobody would ever even suspect him to be Batman.
But he had to be careful with you. He knew it. It was obvious. You weren't that easy to fool…
The Day Batman saved you. 
The fact he had to be careful with you was confirmed not long after. When, as Batman, he came to your rescue.
He should’ve known, that even with a voice changer, and a mask covering most his face, plus a demeanor that was completely different from his usual one, you’d still get suspicious...He should’ve known because he, by then, knew you quite well. 
But, what ? Was he suppose to just let you get mugged ? 
He couldn’t. 
Even if in the grand scheme of things, it would’ve been better, and he would definitely intervene if it got too rough...He couldn’t. 
He couldn’t bear the thought of you getting hurt, or feeling distressed.
He knew this was stupid. That he shouldn’t get so attached. That muggings weren’t really his area of expertise, that to stop them, he had to hit the big bosses. He knew. Small thugs weren’t his target. He had a much bigger vision. And rationally, he should be somewhere else right now. 
Yet he couldn’t resolve himself to. Because, and that was a dangerous thought and feeling, he was in l- 
“Why are we spying on your girlfriend ?” 
Dick’s voice takes him out of his reveries, good. It WAS getting dangerous. Still keeping you in his field of vision (you were slowly going back to your apartment, a few minutes still, and he could leave to do other things knowing you were safe and sound in your home), he answered :  
“We’re not spying on her, we’re making sure she’s safe. And she’s not my girlfriend, you know that.” 
“Oh yeah ? We’ve been following your “totally not girlfriend” since the night started, awfully looks to me like we’re um, you know, stalking her.”
“We’re not.” 
“Suuuuuuuuuure.” 
Bruce gives an annoyed look to his son, who had way too big a smug face right now, and says : 
“The night is calm, if something comes up we’ll go. But right now, it’s alright. And it has been made official, that she and I are a couple.” 
“Fake couple.” 
“Fake one to us, not to the public eye.” 
“Ooooooh !” 
Connections were quickly made in the boy’s head, and he understood why they were following her. After all, this was Gotham. And if THE Bruce Wayne had ONE known lover...Well, it was easy to know it’d attract some nasty business. 
Dick was about to make a smug remark of which he had a talent for, when it happened. He pointed at you, fear in his eyes, and Bruce focused your way again. 
“Stay here.” 
“What why ?! I wanna help her too !” 
“Because she’s too smart not to put two and two if she sees you with me. She knows us in our day lives. She’ll recognize us for sure, if we’re together.”
“Oh...”
“Just stay still, ok ?” 
“Ok.” 
Without a second thought, Bruce jumped down in the street down below, under Dick’s worried eyes. If anything happened to you, he knew his dad would never be the same again. 
And he knew he couldn’t bear to lose yet another person he cared about. Even loved. Yes. Yes Dick loved you, as if you really were part of his family...
The months of “faking” family outings made it so. Your worst fear happened. Dick was getting attached, hardcore. And he really hoped you and Bruce would figure out you were actually in love with each others before the end of your “contract”, and before his sometimes very dense dad would decide to let you go...
For now though, he was anxiously looking at Bruce making his way to you, after he spotted a suspicious group of men genuinely stalking you. 
************
“Hey pretty girl, can we talk ?” 
You stop in your track, turning around, cursing yourself for not having the instinct to just take off running. Oh. But you can see at least one of them has a gun. You can’t run faster than a bullet... 
“Ah it is you, isn’t it ?” 
You don’t answer, knowing what they mean. Bruce sort of warned you against this. But you didn't take his warnings seriously, and here you were, going home at night, something he definitely told you not to do. 
You just couldn’t sleep that night, and needed a walk...And here you were. 
“You’re gonna come nicely with us, right ?” 
���I dont’ think so.” 
Uh ? You’re pretty sure that weird robotic voice wasn’t yours. Even if that’s exactly what you wanted to say. And that’s...oh wow. 
That’s when you see him. Batman. 
Immediately, the atmosphere grow even tenser. And you can see the thugs who wanted to take you with them fearfully looking at him. 
“This has nothing to do with you Batman, leave us alone, we didn’t do anything wrong !” 
“It has everything to do with me. Leave.” 
“We have to-You don’t understand. We have to take her to-” 
“Nowhere. Leave.” 
Even if he was protecting you, you had to admit that, that dude was frightening. He had his back to you, and even then, he looked so intimidating and tall and broad...
Bruce was tall and broad too. But he was soft and sweet, not scary at all.
“OH MY GOD LOOK OUT !!” 
One of the thug had a gun pointed at Batman. Right at his head. He didn’t have the time to enforce his helmet yet, and if he shot around his mouth, he was done for...
A rock coming out of nowhere hit the thug right in the face. 
Coming out of nowhere ? To you, maybe. But Bruce knew that this was little Dickie’s doing. “Robin always has Batman’s back”, he said often...
For the time being, the one taking his gun out being knocked out triggered a “fight or flight” reaction in the others, and as two took off running (and were mysteriously hit by rocks too, knocking them out), three decided to attack Batman. 
Bad move. 
Very bad move. 
In a matter of second, it was over. 
He turns to you, and it’s hard to discern any emotions with his lighted eyes and mask. He asks : 
“Are you alright, (Y/N) ?” 
“How-How do you know my name ?”
“Well, you’re Bruce Wayne’s girlfriend, right ?” 
There was no hesitation in Bruce’s voice as, as soon as he pronounced your name, he knew he messed up...but he trained himself to think quickly. And this “fake” relationship was a perfect excuse, of course. Everyone in Gotham knew about you two, by now. 
“Oh, right, ok.” 
You seemed a bit disappointed, and Bruce couldn’t quite understand why...
It only hits him later, as he was going to bed, why you looked like that. And it made hi heart beat widely. Because he was pretty sure that it was because you sort of hoped Bruce talked to “Batman about you...Oh...Oh this was getting dangerous. 
But of course, Bruce had a reputation to be the one funding Batman’s gadget (a really good cover for the fact he was actually Batman). So they’d know each others...
But right there and then, as he just saved you, you felt so stupid, hoping that Bruce would’ve talked to you to Batman. Why would he ? How the hell would your name even show up in a conversation between Bruce Wayne and Batman (but oh, if you knew you occupied his thoughts many times, and who he really was, maybe you’d feel less bad ? It was, in a way, Bruce talking about you to Batman, right ?). 
You smiled weakly and shyly at this impressive being in front of you, and thanked him one more time. He nods, smiling too (oh ?), and bid you farewell. 
Ah. But Bruce didn’t notice your eyes go wide, as he took off with his grappling hook, and you caught the side of his face in a certain light...
Fake ?
"You know, he smiles more when you’re around.” 
Dick tells you once, you look at him curiously, as he continues : 
“And before you say it’s “all pretend”, let me tell you there’s a difference between this smile and the fake one. Look, that’s how he pretend.” 
On that note, he looked at you and smiled widely, exaggeratedly, but his smile didn’t reach his eyes. And it was so like how Bruce portrayed himself in public, that it made you chuckle. 
It also scared you a little. 
Not because there was a possibility Bruce did smile more around you, but because as that little boy was being silly, and now imitating his adopted father further and oh so perfectly...You felt a surge of love for him. 
And that wasn’t good. 
Because the day, which was coming soon now, you’d have to “dump” Bruce Wayne, you wouldn’t be able to see that little one again...why would you ? 
It’d be too weird, right ? Someone like you, once “broken up”, would have no reasons or ways to ever interact with billionaire Bruce Wayne or his son ever again. 
That little boy was the sweetest child you ever met. He suffered a great loss so early in his life, and there he was, making you laugh and being nice by saying you made his dad genuinely smile. 
It hurt, to know that one day, you wouldn’t see him again. That he’d grow up, and you wouldn’t know what he became. 
You were sure he was destined to become a great man, and you wished you could see it...No. No this was bad. This was so bad. 
“I mean it you know.” 
His little voice brings your attention back to him. 
“I think you make him happy. With you, it feels he can be himself. He laughs more, really laughs. And it’s often that he tells me “oh this makes me think of (Y/N)” and calls you. He doesn’t need to call you for the fake relationship thing, right ? Yet he does. That means something. I think he likes you.” 
You shake your head, smiling at this little boy’s wild imagination. No way. No way was THE Bruce Wayne falling for you in any way. Were you guys becoming real friends ? Sure. But it definitely stopped there. Right ?
Oh but if only you knew Dick had a knack to see this kind of things, and to guess people’s real feelings. If only you knew, that yes, Bruce was starting to fall for you...It would make the next episode way less painful for you. 
“Catch me dead before you catch me catching feelings” - You to yourself, a few days before starting a fake relationship with THE Bruce Wayne. 
“Fuck you” - You to yourself, almost six months in faking a relationship with Bruce Wayne. 
This was...bad. 
Soon enough, you and Bruce will break this entire deal off, you will “dump” him, and you’d go on your separate ways. And...
This was bad. 
Why ? WHY COULDN’T YOU JUST HANG OUT WITH THIS AMAZING CHARMING MAN AND THAT’S IT ? Why ? WHY DID YOU HAVE TO GET OUT THERE AND CATCH....
Catch...
Catch those body shivering “feelings”. 
Not just for Bruce though. But for the little buddy too. 
You felt yourself fall for Bruce slowly, and as if it was completely out of your control. But you also felt like if Dick wasn't in your life anymore...You wouldn’t feel whole again. Like he was sort of your son, too, by then. 
This was so bad. How did you get yourself in this mess ? What was that FIRST rule you gave yourself when all this started ? 
Right, “Catch me dead before I catch feelings”. Damn it. 
Thanks GOD the “marrying season” was finally coming to an end. Both you and Bruce settled you’d wait a few weeks after it to make your break-up official, so nobody would be tempted to cancel any wedding plans to try and force their daughter onto him.  
And it couldn’t happen soon enough. 
Being around him now, faking being in love, was torture to you. 
Kissing him knowing he felt nothing. Holding his hand in public while you knew in your heart he was just putting a show still. And hanging out with him feeling that you had absolutely no chance of this ever evolving...
It hurt.
It hurt so bad. 
And you were slowly hoping you never agreed to being his fake girlfriend. Being a living cliche, the money and the fame were REALLY not worth the heartache. 
So not worth it...
The end...?
"Well mister Wayne, it has truly been a pleasure to be your "girlfriend" haha. Seriously, I had a lot of fun, and a little revenge on life. You know, I saw Eric and Monica not long ago. They tried to become my friends again, knowing I was with you. It was great, to ignore them like they ignored them. You’re right, they’re really not worth it. And honestly I still don’t think we’re even after they hurt me like they did but...In the end, they looked so outraged. Win-win, really. Thank you very much."
"Thank YOU, for playing along and doing more than you bargained for. You really saved me a lot of hassle and…I had fun, too."
Your taxi was pulling in front of the Manor, and honked as he parked. Clearly, not a very patient driver.
"Well, see you around, Bruce ! If you're not too busy, you know…I kinda consider you a friend by now ?"
"Me, too."
Bruce lied. A "friend" ? No, it couldn't cover and explain all his feelings for you. A "friend". How ridiculous.
As you walked away, giving him a last smile, Bruce felt a pang in his chest.
A painful and yet happy one. A longing one. One that told him that "friend" wasn't what he wanted to be…Not anymore…
But was there really a future for you and him ? Probably not. His nightly activities would get in the way. You deserve more than the life he could give you. Being his "fake" girlfriend, you only took part in his public matters. Part in a fake world full of nice things, that was far from his actual life.
"Friend", he wished he could be more to you than this.
But he knew.
He knew that for your own good, he had to stay away. And oh, oh how he wished he could be more than just your "friend" or "fake" boyfriend. 
Yet he watched as you walked away. Without doing anything. 
He watched you leave, and felt the hole in his heart expand a little more. But didn’t try to catch you, or stop you from leaving. 
And your taxi was already far, now. On its way to Gotham. 
"So you gonna run after her oooor…??"
Dick's little voice takes him out of his reveries.
“Mmm ?” 
“(Y/N). Are you gonna run after her, or stand there looking like a sad puppy for the rest of your life ?” 
“I do not look like a sad puppy.” 
“Yes you do, and you know it. Come on dad, why are you doing this ?” 
This was the first time Dick called him dad. Which didn’t go unnoticed to Bruce. It meant...It meant something was definitely happening. He felt it in his heart. Something that was dangerous. Oh so dangerous. 
Hope. Like the “old Bruce” had. Hope. Full of it. Before his parents were murdered in front of him, for no reasons. Meaningless. 
Hope. 
To have a family again. Ah. But...Being with you was impossible. And Dick would be enough. He would. He was already enough... 
“How long are ya gonna torture yourself exactly ?” 
That boy was too smart for his own good. Bruce said : 
“I’m not. I just...I can’t be with her.” 
“I cAn’T bE wITh hEr !! ...Why ?!” 
“You saw what happened, when it was made official we were together. She almost died.” 
“And you saved her. Your point being ?” 
“Dick...”
“Don’t -he takes a mock Bruce voice- “Dick” me mister ! You’re afraid to be happy, and I won’t have it. You gave me another chance to have a family. A dad. And I’m not about to let my dad punish himself for feeling good. You told me yourself my parents would like for me to be happy. Well yours would too, you big idiot ! So now, you listen to me.” 
Dick, meaning business, jumps on the stairs’ bannister to sort of be on eye level with Bruce, and says, pointing his finger at him : 
“You take one of those fancy useless sport car, and you run after her. Capish ?” 
There’s a moment of silence. During which Bruce is unsure of what to do. And then...Then he smiles at his son. 
His son. 
“Capish”, he simply says, and he rushes towards the garage’s entrance, under Dick’s happy look. 
Success. 
Bruce’s car was leaving the estate, when Alfred joined Dick at the front door. 
“You did it, Master Richard.” 
“I hope I did !” 
“Oh you did. You did. Thank you. Thank you for taking care of my son...”
Dick turned to Alfred, who couldn’t keep a straight face this time. Small tears gathered in the old man’s eyes, and sweet little Dick did not hesitate one second before jumping into his arms and giving him one of his famous “Grayson special” hug. 
It’s real. 
Back to square one. 
You. A bad day. Looking like a mess (this time not because of the rain, but because you cried a lot). Your gap year almost over and still not knowing who you were. With no coffee, but at least, you had a tub of ice cream. 
You already missed Bruce. And Dick. And Alfred. 
You couldn’t believe those six months of “faking” would end up meaning so much to you, and feel so devastating as they ended. 
You wish you had never met Bruce. And that you’d been ridiculed by Eric and Monica, that your life would still be pathetic...Pathetic maybe, but at least, your heart wasn’t completely shattered. 
You don’t hear the hurried knocks on your door, at first. Entranced by your own sadness. It’s only when they become loud and insistant you react. 
You really hope it’s not a journalist. They sort of tried to talk to you so many times, since you “dumped” Bruce...You knew he made sure that they’d stay away, but some were particularly persistent. 
Including that awful woman from the charity, who was asking Dick those horrible questions. “Vicky Vale”, was her name, apparently. What a witch. 
Clearly, the knocking wasn’t gonna go away, so you stood up, settled your tub of ice cream on your coffee table, and went to the door, ready to fight if need be. 
But there was no need for fights. 
At least, not in the literal sense of the term. 
“Bruce ?” 
He seems out of breath. Incredible, given how in shape he was. He doesn’t really leave you any time to say anything else, as he blurts out :
“I was wrong.”
He blurts out out of nowhere, and you’re even more confused. Before you could ask what was all this about, he adds : 
“I was wrong. When I said you were the right person because you were “normal”. You’re everything, BUT “just a regular person”. You’re the most fantastic woman I’ve ever met. You decided to help a total stranger just because. I know I helped you before, but it doesn’t compare to what you did for me. Especially on a matter that seems so silly to me now. You put yourself in a very awkward position for someone you didn’t even know. In front of the public, for a guy like me. You knew I was a “playboy”, and that I could very well use you. Yet you still put up with it. You accepted my son, even as you didn’t have to. Even as, just like me, you are so young. You were nice to Dick, even if all you needed to do was pretend. You’re...You’re...You’re just something else entirely. It feels like you know me, the real me. Like you can read my very soul. Like you’re the only one for me. I’ve known for a long time. I ignored it because I was afraid of what that meant but...but a certain little one made me realize this was time. It’s time to move on. It’s time to allow myself to be happy. And so, here I am.”
Was this...it ? The point of your gap year ? To discover that finding yourself...Meant finding your soulmate ? 
It sounded silly. While at the same time, not. Because you felt it. You felt it deep within you. From the moment Bruce handed you that twenty dollars bill, fate was in motion. 
You meeting Eric and Monica wasn’t bad luck. It was the opposite. It was the Universe’s push towards your real Destiny. 
Towards Bruce. 
“You’re not saying anything. Is this bad ? Or does it mean I blew your mind away ? I’m clearly hoping for the latter...”
Over the months, you discovered how huge of a dork Bruce Wayne could be. Even as if there was often a darkness right behind his smiles. Deep within his eyes. You discovered he wasn’t always this cocky arrogant man he portrayed himself to be while in public. How he was actually pretty funny and oh so empathetic. How...How so many things, the list seemed endless in your mind. 
And it only added to everything, that he looked so unsure. And so you smile. You just smile at him. And everything you feel is in that smile. 
You don’t even realize you’re holding each others now, and that you’re kissing...
It’s not pretend this time. 
A real first kiss. 
Though maybe all your kisses until now weren’t as fake as you pretended them to be. 
In any case, this, right now, is a real kiss alright. 
A real one. 
Full of all the pent up emotions. Free of all the fear and hurt you both felt as you realized you were in love with the other one, yet you thought things were all “fake”. 
Because it wasn't fake. It wasn’t. 
“I love you.” 
You don’t know who said it first. You, or him. You felt so in sync, that it didn’t matter. What is sure, is that you both said it. Before you closed the door to your apartment, leading him in. 
Before you spend the night in each other’s arms.
Bruce not even thinking about going out as Batman..
For the first time in years, he decided to fully embrace being happy. 
“You always told me my parents would wish for me to be happy, well yours too !” Dick said. And oh, he was so right.
By the way, I’m Batman. Surprise. 
“It’s not like I didn’t know, you know.” 
“Huh ?” 
Oh. Oh the delight to see that surprised expression on Bruce’s face. It was quite a rare one, really. And as he finally gathered the courage to tell you who he really was, risking losing you in the process but wanting to show you his full self...
It was particularly delightful. 
“Busted you on that night you saved me. As if I wasn’t going to recognized that jawline.” 
“Wait, really ? I really thought you bought my lies !” 
“Well now, you know not to underestimate me.” 
“I...Do.”
A natural smile reaches his face, and he approaches you, pulling you to him, and laying a soft kiss on your lips. Feeling fully accepted and loved, like never before. And he could see you-
“Oh NO EWWWWWW !!!” 
You pull away from Bruce’s kiss (noticing his slow grumble, displeased to lose  your warmth), and look at little Dickie (your son too, now !), staring at you two, looking disgusted. 
“Get a ROOOOM !!” 
This makes you laugh. A lot. And oh. Oh how would you ever guess, in that moment, that one day, this “get a room !!” said in such a disgusted tone would be the trademark of your children (SIX OF THEM) whenever they’d see you and Bruce display any sort of affection to one another ? 
You couldn’t guess, of course. But even in that moment, as you softly laughed, in Bruce’s arms, while looking at your son now making exaggerated noises and acting silly, you knew this...
This was what you’ve been looking for during this gap year. 
This was who you were. 
Right there. 
At the heart of a loving family, even if right now, it was just the three of you (four, let’s not forget Alfred !). 
The end. 
_________________________________________________
And here we are. I hope you liked it ? I feel particularly nervous about this one haha. Don’t hesitate to leave a little comment and reblog :),  It’s always greatly appreciated, and encouraging :D. Thanks in advance, and see you soon with a new story ! 
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