#am I going to continue blorbo posting? yes absolutely

[sitzfleischh]

I GOT INTO MY TOP CHOICE PLAYWRITING PROGRAM AND I JUST RECEIVED THE FULL CAST LIST FOR THE WORKSHOP OF MY PLAY THAT'S HAPPENING IN JULY AND IT'S SOOOOOO GOOD IM TRULY SCREAMING

[pink-november]

You know who I want (threatening) (trying to be) (actually this was an attempt at flirting and not referring to Cold at all) (could’ve been referring to anyone) (who care!!)

*crawls out my hidey hole covered in dirt and blood* I'M ALIVE!

I definitely know who you're referring to 🤭 hope I did him well here <333

• First impression

Oh, he's emo. The emo voice. Saw him first with Paranoid in Wraith. Looks like the type to be easily misunderstood because he just sounds like that. Hot voice though, er well, cold voice. 7/10

• Impression now

THE BLORBO. PERIOD. One of the faves. He's actually so silly? Also he's got a lot of depth to him that goes under the radar because it's so easy to assign him as a typical "villain" since he doesn't show any remorse in killing the Princess and sucks at emotions uh, I mean, is emotionless. The rare moments of him showing anything than boredom makes me salivate and feral because my boi you are fucking lying to yourself about not feeling anything at all.

• Favorite moment

He has so many great moments actually: his Razor's entrance, the sheer difference of attitude when it came to his presence in The Greys and his entire show in Spectre. But my top favorite has got to be Moment of Clarity, especially after getting to know him a lot after replaying the game. There's just something absolutely heart-wrenching hearing him continually dismiss the other voices and insisting that he's the only special one here, trying to appeal to LQ that he only needs him alone.

• Idea for a story

Every idea I had about Cold gets sucked into the black hole that is Ouroboros Well, I do have that one story idea where it's a post A New Unending Dawn and Everyone Hates You where all the voices tore themselves out of The Long Quiet and got separated from one another because of how messy they got out their progenitor. They became something close to Catastrophes because of how violent their ascensions were and they bring disasters to wherever they go. And because I need more tragedy, all of them try to seek one another but find out they keep missing each other due to fate fucking with them. Also this is a fic where Cold is a vampire. And Smitten's there too, I guess.

Well, there's also my Swap AU. Gravedigger Cold still lives rent free in my head alongside his bestie, The Revenant.

• Unpopular opinion

He really should be elevated to Tumblr Sexyman status. He's got the qualifications for it even!

• Favorite relationship

I am Burned Bridges truther, mainly because of you Dicey. I have become ill for their dynamic and despite how rocky and nigh impossible reconciliation is with them, I do think they can be good friends under the right circumstances. Also, I love how Cold makes Smitten worse, just saying. They need to get a room smh.

But before Burned Bridges, I do adore Cold's relationship with Hero and The Long Quiet. It's only by virtue of having Nightmare as my first route and The Moment of Clarity happening that Spectre falls short on my favorite chapters, ending in a nebulous second place.

• Favorite headcanon

I love Cold collecting knives! Yes, I love that headcanon very much! Also, he's afraid of The Damsel.

[idledreams4]

"Would you really unfollow someone because they said they had a problem with fictional incest?"

Yes. And I will encourage anyone who thinks that's obscene to either block or unfollow me

I know that fiction isn't reality

These are characters. They do not have feelings, they are not governed by laws or morality, they are objects.

If I told you "hey I think a fork and a spoon should make out" you'd probably be like "weird, but whatever you're into man"

But if I dare say "hey I think Sam and Dean Winchester should make out" suddenly it's "nooooo!!! You can't do that!!!! They're related"

Guess what? The fork and the spoon are related too. They're both utensils.

You only have a problem with the second statement because the characters are human characters. This can apply to any humanoid or vaguely anthropomorphized character. Once something has human traits you forget that it's just an object.

Sam and Dean Winchester exist only in ink, film, and the minds of the creators and fans. They are not out there driving around in a 1967 Chevy Impala, hunting monsters and stealing credit cards to pay for cheap motel rooms.

You cannot police objects, and you cannot police fandom.

And you know what, since the callout post this is responding to brought rp/kink into it, I'm going to do the same:

WHAT TWO CONSENTING ADULTS DO IN THEIR OWN TIME IS NOT YOUR BUSINESS

That's all that should really need to be said, but allow me to continue for those who can't get it through their thick skulls.

Roleplay is FANTASY

What is fantasy? NOT REAL

THINGS THAT ARE NOT REAL ARE NOT HARMFUL

Murder? Rape? Assault of any kind? All harmful when commited by real people.

But me writing a story where Blorbo from Hyperfixation drugs, kidnaps, and brainwashes OC is not harmful because the characters aren't real

A BDSM scene where my partner ties me up and uses whips or flogs on me is not harmful because it is pre-negotiated and has safety measures in place to make sure we are both safe and comfortable.

If two consenting adults agree to roleplay as siblings or step siblings that is no different. If they want to introduce a parent/child dynamic all the power to them. These things aren't harmful because they are not real.

I'm not going to sit here and advocate for actual incest. Absolutely the fuck not. But I am going to keep writing stories about my favorite twins going on little dates, or being horribly codependent thanks to their mother, or just being flat out abusive and terrible to eachother. Why? Because. Its. Fiction.

Make sense now? Are we all on the same page finally?

Oh, before I go actually. Anyone who consumes media portraying incest and immediately thinks "this is ok and I'm going to do it" lacks the ability to critically consume media that the vast majority people have. They are not the average, they are outliers.

Anyone who uses media to justify doing bad things is pathetic, and a coward who can't take responsibility for their own actions ❤️

[utilitycaster]

Big D20 and ACOC fan here. The "they won't get the rich lore" argument just also feels so ridiculous from a technical standpoint? Like, CR fans watch long ass episodes, the campaigns for it span over a hundred episodes lmao. I'm pretty sure they're actually primed for lore retention and are fairly used to intricate plot points. I personally can't wait to see Matt take this on and bring in more viewers.

Right! Like...firstly, fans of Critical Role, or Matt, do tend to be massive fucking nerds, and CR in particular is pretty heavy on lore so assuming the worst of them is pretty dumb. Secondly, as I said, there's very few resources for this lore other than watching (requires a subscription) or reading the transcripts of the episodes - and I want to be clear, I don't blame the D20 wiki editors, who have as far as I know been minding their own business - but the people hyping up the rich lore have done nothing to bring that canon to potential new fans, instead just tsk-tsk-ing and saying "you wouldn't get it." Thirdly, I'm going to take a wild guess and say again that Matt and Brennan have gone through the lore together and are going to set the stage adequately for new viewers.

Which is the big thing that I think the people attempting to say "you wouldn't get it unless you've continuously been in the fandom specifically for ACOC for three straight years" are fully missing (and which your ask here does take into account appropriately). Dropout needs subscribers. That is their business model, and D20 is one of the shows that brings in the most new and continuous subscribers since many of the other shows, while great, are unscripted quiz-style shows and permit a more, well, drop in and out style of viewing.

The past few D20 seasons have not been pulling in the same viewership, and we can speculate why that is but it ultimately doesn't matter. They are specifically bringing in a popular and well-known DM, having a group of experienced roleplayers, and returning to this specific beloved setting on purpose to do so - both to mine the overlap in fandom between D20 and CR and perhaps expand it, reach out to fans of Aabria or Anjali, and perhaps bring back in people who watched A Crown of Candy but haven't kept up since. A lot of the discussion truly feels like it paints Matt as "asshole who wandered on set and seized control over my blorbos" and not "person who was very deliberately invited to DM this particular season and has the explicit blessing of Brennan, Sam Reich, and anyone else involved in the decision-making at D20." (I honestly don't know if the D20 powers that be are aware that there's a cohort of D20 fans who just passionately hate CR or Matt but the thing is, if I were a hypothetical executive who was, shall we say, plugged into the fansphere? I'd pick the setting of Calorum specifically so that we retain its passionate fandom, even if they don't like the DM, while also bringing in new fans. It would be the smart business decision, and also pretty funny.)

But also...look. I am certainly not above criticizing fan theories based on poor understanding of lore, or when people are like (smug voice) "well I'm a lore muncher so combat doesn't interest me", or when they respond to thoughtful meta with irrelevant projections. But if someone wants to watch Critical Role and make liveblog posts of "hell yeah, Fearne just stole that guy's watch, iconic" without going deep into the lore? That is absolutely just as valid a form of fandom as writing meta, or fic, or creating fan art, or cosplaying. The same goes for any other show. If you want to get into lore discussions and meta then yes, you should be relatively up on the lore, but if you just want to hang out and enjoy the show? You can show up to episode 1 absolutely cold and pick it up as you go along. It's fine, and anyone saying otherwise is an asshole who does not have good intentions.

[theearlgreymage]

An Ask Game for Writers to Procrastinate Working on Your WIP(s)

Soooo -- The lovely @ic3-que3n decided to tag me in this little game. Because they know I am eternally procrastinating on all my WIPS.

(Original Ask Game)

1. 🦈Tell us the name of your/ one of your WIP(s):

Vogue in Paradis (And I will be using this specific WIP for all remaining questions)

2. 🍄Describe your WIP/one of your WIP(s) in the format of “___ + ___ =___”

Fashion Designer Erwin + Makeup Designer Levi = Rivals to Lovers Office Romance

3. 🌍What tags or warnings will your / one of your WIP(s) need if you intend to share it?

Guys. Come on. This is ME we're talking about - they are going to fuck. Explicitly.

4. 🧭An alternative title to your/ one of your WIP(s)?

This one was originally unnamed when the premise for it was created. I started this a while ago, and then set it on the back burner, but then Lewi dropped this amazing art and it sparked that flame of motivation to continue it -- and gave it a Title.

5. ⚠️Which WIP your most likely to finish or update next?

Either May Their Blood Boil will get an update OR I will finish Vogue in Paradis

6. 💾What is your document of your WIP/ a WIP called? (not the stories actual title but what you’ve saved it as)

Despite how meticulously I keep my Google Drive organized, there is absolutely no rhyme or reason to my Docs Names. Most of the time it is just an extremely vague phrase. But I do keep my Docs ORGANIZED. Each fandom has it's own folder, and within that there are folders for oneshots, series, ideas, and @ic3-que3n (yes - they have a whole ass folder because they put that many ideas in my fucking head.)

7. 🖍Post Any sentence(s) from your WIP.

“Smith.”  At the mere mention of Erwin’s name, Hange starts laughing.   “Stop that,” I sneer at them as I lean back in my chair and cross my arms defensively. Already anticipating where this is going to go – which is why I didn’t want to say anything to them in the first place.  “Stop being in denial then,” Hange wheezes out between fits of laughter.  “I’m not in denial!”  We’ve had this argument before – anytime I bring up Erwin, Hange insists that I have a crush on him. Which I do not.  “Keep telling yourself that,” Hange drawls as they wipe a tear of laughter away from their lash line.  “We’re not having this discussion.”  “And you’re still not getting laid.”  “Hange.” I practically snarl at them.   It doesn’t perturb them in the slightest. “Look me in the eyes and tell me I’m wrong,” and I’m about to answer their demand but then they keep going. “Tell me you don’t think he’s a whole ass meal. That you haven’t thought about what he’s hiding under those bland Oxford shirts and wool pants.”  “I don’t –”  “Or that you don’t think he’s infuriatingly good at his job.”  “That has nothing –”  “Or that you can’t seem to keep your eyes and ears off of him in joint meetings.”  “Well that’s only –” “Or that it’s a damn shame no one has been able to take him off the market.”    The silence that falls over us is uncomfortably tense. And I can’t decide if I want to crawl beneath my desk at the sudden, horrifying, realization that I can’t deny a word they just said – or leap across the table and strangle them for making me realize I can’t.  “That’s what I thought,” they chime triumphantly as they lean back on their hands. Pushing a pencil cup out of its place.  “Get. Out.” I snip between clenched teeth. My hands balled up in fists in the crooks of my elbows to keep from lashing out at this idiot I call my best friend. 

8. ♻️A scrapped idea for your current WIP.

Hmm. No. I'm holding this information incase I un-scrap the idea.

9. 🤔What’s a story you’d love to write but haven’t even started yet?

I have a WILD backwards-reincarnation plot cooking in my head right now. I'm going to make the CANON the reincarnation and write a whole pre-canon/part reincarnation for my blorbos. And I am ITCHING to write it like it's no ones fucking business, but I'm determined to get some other projects off my plate first so that I can give it the attention that it rightfully deserves.

10. 🤡How many WIPS are you actively working on?

Hahahahaha...ha...ha... Well. You see...That's not an easy answer. Because I am not good at math and cannot count that high... But. In the last 30 days...Going off of WIPs that I've typed at least 500 words on... 11...

11. 🛠Is there a scene or anything in the WIP you are struggling with right now?

Yes 😎

12. ❤️Not a question, just a second Kudos to send.

Bless. You're too sweet my love ❤️

And now so I can spread the procrastination, I’m tagging...

@artsyunderstudy @shrekgogurt @buffy @j-nipper-95 @aristocratic-otter @cutestkilla @facewithoutheart @fatalfangirl @hushed-chorus @martsonmars @skeedelvee @thewholelemon @wellbelesbian @you-remind-me-of-the-babe @palimpsessed

[bombshelllblonde]

hiiihihii!! im backkkk to tell u abt my rdr playthough bc im bored asf haha

¡love this game omg!! the graphics, the story, the details UGH!!!!

hunting is actually so fun for no reason- i bought so many fancy ass guns too 😭

also my play type whenever i play ANY story game thats open world is to do every possible thing every except the actual story so i get a bunch of stuff and then its so muvh easier

in short i have 6000+ dollars 😋

bonus of exploring everything is i got thw white arabian and i love her sm ‼️‼️ i named her pearl and she is my baby

dress up is my seconf favorite hobby

my fav outfit rn is the red vest w the floral pattern on the front (i forget what its called) n the black french dress shirt underneath + the bison necklace talisman

(also arthur w medium-long length hair n short facial hair>>>)

this game is so detail oriented, its kind of insane- im doing a high honor run atm, and i came across the blind beggar for the third (?) time and the blind guy said and i quote

"that is which killing you will finally help you, friend- to hear and see."

is this foreshadowing this feels like foreshadowing

also ik arthurs dies (bc of tiktok edits and fics, they artists in this fandom is amazing!!!) and im not prepared at all 😭 im going to procrastinate so bad 

ALSO CHARLES DESERVES SO SO MUCH I LOVE HIM

yk the hole lil speech he has at the campfire yk "most human beings seem to know why they were born but, for me- its seems i was just mean ton hurt and suffer myself" that one

im bawling istg if he doesnt get a good ending im going to be writing a formal complaint to rockstar games

anyways

tw opinions (ik bro its crazy to have opinions in 2024 whattt no wayy)

ive gotten to the point in playing where im in ch 3, and the only way i can progress the actual story is to help micah rob a stagecoach or whatever

micah is a bastard and i dont like him

him as a character is rlly well written and awesome but,,,,,hes,,,slimy,,and i hate him,,,,so he can wait for a little longer ☺️

my favorite characters rn in no particular order is

arthur (obviously) , charles , sean , javier , tilly , marybeth , and kieran

my pookies ‼️‼️

moving on im so sorry this is so so long 😭 idk anyone who likes rdr irl lmao

anyway hope u have a nice day and no wolves attack you and spoke ur horse who bucks you off a cliff

(in rdr btw)

((true story also))

yo, having 6k in chapter 3 is amazing. good for you!

my first playthrough i got the white arabian and i named her Lemoyne Tree as a tribute to the state of Lemoyne and my favorite post malone song Lemon Tree. But she always got super dirty so i then went to the lake next to Strawberry and tamed the red chestnut arabian. I LOVE LOVE LOVE that one, she's gorgeous and arthur always gets that one when i play it. my beautiful baby girl Diablo <3

also yes. heckin FUCK MICAH BELL. even from the beginning he's been a slime ball. hate that man <3

i won't go too far, but just keep yourself high honor towards the end of the game. you need that to be your first ending. :')

Charles deserves the absolute world. just listening to him speak and hanging out with him at camp, and the missions you continue on to do with him throughout the game are so much fun. charles is someone i wish i could have in my real life because he seems like he would be the best person to speak to and hang out with. he is so lovely and down to earth. even arthur says it a couple times throughout the game. charles gets a good ending i promise.

my top blorbos are Arthur, Dutch, Charles, Hosea, and Josiah Trelawny my absolute beloved <33333 just wait until you go on the mission with Charles to find trelawny. one of my favorite missions ever ever ever ever!!

a lot of people dislike dutch, but i love him so much. he is my actual father. i love him.

i also hate john. let me know how you feel about that little greasy weasel of a man. :)))

i'm so so so glad you're having fun and i am very invested, so please continue to keep me updated on what ur doing because i need to live vicariously through you. if i could erase my entire mind and replay the game over and over again for the first time, i totally would

[quietbluejay]

Angel Exterminatus 2

so the purplish prose continues but i'm finding it's not getting in the way as much

like yeah it's there but we're not slowing down the pacing and at least its not "sapphire orbs" no i am NEVER going to let that one go McNeill, you put that in a published novel

rip Kroeger he's still in shock

you guys have been in the business of war for two hundred years

but in this case, it feels like they're meant to be acting immaturely these guys also seem to have more slave labour on display, or at least be a) more honest about calling them slaves and b) more brutal towards them "oops maybe we shouldn't have done a genocide" thought no iron warrior ever note from future bluejay: hehehehehe the closest is forrix thinking "we haven't recovered from genociding perturabo's homeworld" and yes the actual word "genocide" is used i am not working off of implications

i wonder if we're ever going to get it explained why perturabo picked Kroeger

okay so, perturabo lives in a literal labyrinth designed by leonardo da vinci absolutely normal behaviour here

man lives in a video game dungeon is there any wonder he acts the way he does

at least get some sunlamps in there

actual kind of smile! is that....an actual possible friendship i espy? of course he's friends with McNeill's blorbo lol perturabo: there's another labyrinth i built. it's on a ship. don't ask why. it's for a special prisoner. this is normal.

I wonder if the other labyrinth is a surprise tool that will help us later

I had some Magnus slander here but I shall refrain from posting it because I think it might be unnecessarily mean.

oh. ugh. apparently some architect dude cried when he saw perturabo's drawings and asked if he could build them. Groan.

he can do real smiles???

charming fellow

"don't call them loyalists, because that means we're traitors!!!"

oh time for Fabulous Bill who will be playing the role of Dr Frankenstein tonight

Fabius: whatever mystery voice: i always hated you anyways oh okay so he's working on this guy's body and his head is sitting on the other side of the lab complaining about it taking so long there's the dark chaos funnies I've been waiting for

Forrix:

Ending this here because I really want to start the next post with the next bit

[rontra]

your art is making me go absolutely feral about wondermagic. I never looked at Zatanna comics before (or much comics in general), do you have any recommendations on where to start? I need more of this funky gay stage magician and her huge dork girlfriend in my life.

oh god. I MEAN first of all YES!!!!! WONDERMAGIC W!!!!!!! im so happy to hear it. they make me actually crazy im glad youre enjoying The Art

however SECOND OF ALL i must confess (as i have confessed before!) that i am a fake ass comic book fan. i've barely read Anything for Any character (LOL) i am not at ALL versed in her various appearances/history. so tbh i hope my more knowledgeable followers can drop recs for both me and you if there's anything particularly noteworthy

but i can talk about what i HAVE read bc my journey with her has been very . memorable to me. THIS IS NOT A HELPFUL POST this is just me infodumping--AT LENGTH--about my and zatanna's relationship. but i do talk a little about what ive read. like casual rontra followers can stop reading here its just rambling

anyway my first exposure to ms zatanna was in the first proper dc comic i ever read. which doesnt count because its extremely not about her (this is a tangent) but its notable for making me out loud go "who is this MAGICIAN" which prompted my partner to immediately reply "you mean zatanna zatara". oh you know her. you know the magician. bitch who the hell is--

you gotta appreciate the experience here. its babys first ever comic. i know superman i know batman ive seen them around (from being alive as a human). i have never in my life heard of the stage magician who hangs out with them (in full costume??) and is their friend(?????)

SHES VERY MEMORABLE. WHO THE HELL IS THIS MAGICIAN

anyway that's all a tangent. flash forwards to last month. i was already working on CTDE from the kara^2 angle (bc i majored in n52 power girl w a minor degree in supergirl: woman of tomorrow, of course) but i was like "i should expand this roster". my friends suggest their blorbos ofc and i have a fun time reading wiki pages from multiple storylines/continuities just getting a wide array of impressions from different places. just snooping around the Vibes. and im like. man i should look at that Magician. read some of HER pages

you gotta appreciate knowing nothing at like 3am, to figuring out ctde zatanna's palette at 5:43 am

i can't resist her.

anyway i already knew here that i was going to do something weird with her in the CTDE that wasn't necessarily connected to any of her published material. i was cooking independently. the stove was on before i had ingredients on hand bc i had the IDEA first. but i was like "i should look at some of her stuff first-hand and try and refine the Vibes" yknow. like theres limits to how much of a fake zatanna fan i can be

so we put out a call in the Mutuals Network and someone was like "you Could watch the justice league dark movie from 2017 she's in that". i was like ok 1hr15 animated movie i can handle that EASY

i didn't love the movie. so i'm not going to say anything else about it. however something VERY IMPORTANT TO NOTE:

thats right. wondermagic took hold before i read a single zatanna comic. just as it has for you anon.... we're not so different you and i...

couple days pass. im just relaxing. hanging out. looking at random tumblr blogs that post comic stuff bc im curious. so i stumble on this one post and it has a clean edit of This Fateful Image 👇

this. GODDAMN image

i was like Wonder Woman is HOW TALL? excuse ME? (>he has also never engaged with a single piece of wonder woman content)

SHES SO TALL........??? and Next To Zatanna? (diesel voice) back in my day we called this spitting distance. and we would post it on /u/

im like okay what comic is this from im going there and im going NOW. to view her. like it's that easy folks. just show me wonder woman, Tall, next to another woman. and i'll go read it

nyway this is Justice League Dark from 2018-2020 it's like 30 issues or so and theres a stretch of chapters where diana is a real hunk its unbelievable. then the art changes but it was amazing while it lasted

(and then i immediately stumbled and wondermagic ctde real)

i really enjoyed this comic actually. i have NO idea how its generally regarded by zatanna nation, but i had a fun enough time. absorbed a lot of DC Comics Magic Lore for my AU which is important

at some point it starts doing Weirdly Umineko Coded dialogue totally unprompted so if you've read that it might tickle your funnybone to see comic book characters asking each other "was this a trick or was it magic 😏". made me feel right at home

my main complaint is that SHE'S NOT DRESSED LIKE A FUCKING MAGICIAN IN IT!!!! COME ON!!!!! they chickened out on the full magician garb in this whole era. which is just so sad. the fishnet fingerless gloves are funny though i might steal that. but i think she is so funny when she's wearing the full magician costume. like call me shallow but her commitment to the bit is so important to me

on the upside she interacts with wonder woman A Lot. the rest of the team is fun too. the justice league dark team is just wonder woman severely failing to put together a squad with any star power at all and i think that's adorable. her failgirl era. now she's out here with her also-rans. i like them all im fond of them

diana scruffs zee like a cat??? she's just hanging there like she's ok with it LOL

it technically jumps off of another comic but tbh if you're willing to hit the ground running and just Accept some stuff in medias res and go with it it's pretty easy to pick up if you wanted

("Just Going With It" is a vital survival skill for getting into comics in general because even if a comic isn't part of a longer continuity its always like "omg glup shitto is here!!! for the fans!!!" and you just have to be like Okay someone else will know who that is. ill just go w it. yknow 😭)

anyway i got a lot of DC Magic Lore (Strangely Familiar Edition) and Zee Content AND!!! Wondermagic Content. in this one. so even if i had an inkling about them before, this comic is really what detonated the charge so to speak. they interact so much

and the dynamic created w their relationship to magic and stuff is really interesting. brainwormy for sure. it took me from "who the hell is this magician" to "DO PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT WONDERMAGIC????? FOR THE LOVE OF GOD HELLO???" in one comic. i have a LOT of thoughts about them like genuinely i think there's meat on the bone conceptually for wondermagic

but i think pretty much any time they appear together in general they're just Like That. whenever theyre both in a comic they have to be gay about it (what the fuck did she mean by this). i was losing my mind when i was catching up on DC/RWBY (ABHORRED. avoid if possible) and zatanna is immediately on her bullshit again. IS THAT HOW YOU GREET HER

anyway to sum up my rambling here's a peek into my league of comic geeks library of Shit Ive Read Since Then (that had zee in it). basically i have no further wisdom for you but for the knowers this is where i'm at (click to enlarge)

it's a totally random selection LOL my strategy is that i look at comics that list her as a cast member and spin an actual roulette wheel in my brain to decide whether i should read it or not. there's very little else going on here. just monkey sees funny magician -> neuron activates

that pretty much catches us up on my zatanna journey. youll notice if you paid attention to the date/time stamps that it took a mere matter of Days to go from "yeah i can watch a movie" to "i think about her kissing women every night before i sleep". it is DIRE in here. im not sure ive ever had such a Severe escalation of worms

i love her. she's my funny girl. anyway. zatanna nation. if you're still reading this. if you're still with me. what is your wisdom. what should me and anon read. please.

this is a matter of international consequences.

[tiredassmage]

can we hear more about in dreams, hopes to die... 👉👈 those lines are so tasty..

CHOMPING AT THE BIT, AYE AYE CAPTAIN!!!!

Would you believe me if I reveal that this snippet is from the same piece? It's obviously an overall not very good time kind of piece, so I felt a tiny bit bad about it for once and decided to throw Tyr a bone. Valkorian and Tyr's own conga line of bad times couldn't be the only thing in five years worth of dreams, I figured, lol.

Also, that very scene is where the banger In the dark, it’s easier to hide and easier to tell the truth came from, lol.

Don't get too excited though because that's... very short. And also it's mentally set to Eyelids by PVRIS, so uh. It still punches me in the face.

Eventually I'll hopefully throw him another bone and give him and Theron's time on Rishi or Yavin IV a little pass because I'd like to think Theron's at least a little right and something came up. And stars know Tyr needs a fuckin' break, good gods almighty anlkfdnafldsf. Says she who continues to put that man in Situation after Situation after Situa-

And it was very hard to stop at just the first line for that initial post because the three lines that follow it are the meat and potatoes of what is currently the opening sequence of what I hope will eventually be a coherent fic. Or at least kinda coherent. It's still a very nebulous piece and I kinda like that, so I might not really do much more setup because it seems fitting that there wouldn't be a lot of setup and transition in something like the carbonite dreams era.

And, perhaps unsurprisingly given the nature of the setup of that chapter, but a lot of these scenes flirt with the concept of death. Tyr's dangerous dedication to "finishing the job" isn't anything new to those of us who have been here a while, lol, but this is a good character study piece if you're newer to my favorite blorbo, though it's an undeniably heavy one and obviously a bit fucky and nebulous by nature.

Also, fair warning, yes I'm giving you lines, but also I am going to give you a ramble and a half about Tyr lore because this is the piece I'm stuffing some juicy tick-tock workings into because I realized it was good for that and I love my boy so much, he's so fucked up. I love him though.

Anyway, I teased, so the next three lines of that scene, as foretold beneath the cut:

At first, it’s a firing squad. Mud cakes their boots and the rain pelts heavy on worn, drawn faces.

Tyr pushes to his feet unsteadily. A flash of lighting breaks overhead, glancing off of leveled blasters and hollowed eyes.

It will end as it should: without a soul remembering his name. He’d prefer it that way.

Okay, so... this is also not necessarily a piece I intended to write, but I realized there is... almost no better place to do a deep dive into some of the things that tick inside of Tyr that maybe aren't best portrayed in dialogue alone. This also wasn't meant to be in present tense, but it didn't feel right in past, so I ended up caving and that's... been a theme of the week, I guess, lol.

This is also like. I always chuckle a bit in that scene from Visions in the Dark later where Valkorian threatens you to meet his challenge and grow stronger or die alone and unremembered because wouldn't that just be ideal for a former Cipher. Wasn't that how the story was supposed to end? He didn't ask for your bullshit, grandpa.

There's currently two other scenes I have - they're all relatively short as I try to keep with that sort of drifting feeling. But the other one that might [Large Eyes Emoji] be of... relevant interest...

What’s been done has already been done. It doesn’t matter what it was. Maybe it won’t matter to anyone else.

Because it’s going to end here and now. Such were the decrees of the Sith - of the Empire.

Absolutes.

It matters to him that he tried. This is one of the kinder ways this could go - quietly, without the fanfare of blood on his teeth and a fire in his eyes.

“For what it’s worth, sir?” Nine exhales long and slow as he closes his eyes. “I’ve always admired you… You did your best.”

Finally.

No.

More.

Running.

“But I’m not going back.” The old man’s one of the few he could ever hope to ask this final favor. “Finish this - what we started.”

The Minister of Intelligence pulls the trigger.

It’s over before Tyr feels the ground beneath him.

Also topical given the "are others concerned about their sleep schedule" tag post reblogged earlier today, lol, and the idea of chronic nightmares. That Tyr and I haven't talked about. To each other. Or the world. Possibly not with the people he cares about, either. I'm sure Theron knows nebulously that he can have some troubled sleep - you don't share a bed with someone and not notice how consistently they have trouble falling or staying asleep.

But I think the fuckiest part of the whole Castellan Restraints period for Tyr is how he doesn't want to let the old man down. The Minister is more a father figure in Tyr's eyes than his own father, quite honestly [Tyr has a... kind of non-existant relationship with his entire family, unfortunately - and it's not because he went into Intelligence], and there's absolutely a part of that dynamic that is mentor and protégé.

And it's important to me that he sees this scenario with the Minister and not Shara - at least in Chapter Two, where it first haunts his nightmares with some consistency. Because I made a conscious choice in Shara knowing as Keeper about his Restraints - not because that ever comes up in-game, but because it adds something very crunchy to their already doomed narrative. And the background to that decision is that I decided it's... the kind of silent acknowledgement that the Minister can afford to give of their more intimate relationship. It's damage control, mitigation. With a heavy heart I imagine he tells her this in private, off the record, because Nine was her Cipher. And both of them still hold him in high regard.

Nine's given a possibly unusually loose leash to pursue the SIS investigation because of the Minister and Keeper's word; Watcher Three mentions this in broad strokes when he questions you about the blackout in records.

Anyway, the point to me mentioning this is actually that Tyr makes a very conscious effort to not think about this in the midst of the Restraints causing problems. He's reluctant enough to cede that he should hold the Minister responsible for this gross violation of his privacy and trust, but he's even more reluctant to give that the woman he loves has any knowledge or hand in the process - unwittingly or, especially, wittingly. Ultimately, he stubbornly doesn't hold them responsible. It hurts less to place the blame elsewhere. And he never loses the inescapable nostalgic kick to go home in the sense of the old paradigm - him and Keeper and the Minister.

He gave them everything.

And there's something in here about his regret at not being able to say all of this respect in better words or more directly. There's that acknowledgement that there's one person he trusts to understand why this was his breaking point. And, ultimately, there's the acceptance of the likelihood that none of this is going to end well, that he's living on borrowed time stolen from fate or destiny, or hell, maybe the Force. Tyr doesn't give a whole lot to whatever higher powers might be out there - relying on them hasn't ever saved him and he doesn't expect it to.

It makes it very interesting to watch him knowingly and willingly lie about the Black Codex after he lets Ardun walk with it and promises to double for the SIS. In a way, he's committing the greatest failure and throwing away everything the Minister has fought so hard with him to maintain and keep, especially when both of them have spoken of ideals instead of goals, etc. But it's necessary. It's what's best for Tyr, mentally, at that point. And even one of the figures he loves and respects the most can't override that desperate intrinsic need to fight for himself. The old man is, after all, one of the largest advocates of it throughout his career as Nine.

And, I suppose speaking of the nostalgia for Intelligence, my favorite set of lines from the final scene so far:

She’s sobbing against his shoulder. Dust and blood stain an almost unfamiliar uniform - he hasn’t worn uniform on Dromund Kaas in months, maybe years…

Everything’s been such a blur since Intelligence was disbanded…

so YEAH. I uh. I have a lot of feelings and this is where I'm sniffling and sobbing and word vomiting them into one doc but in story format, I suppose, lol.

Also completely unrelated to this particular fic but I am. Still thinking so intently about Eight x Tyr thoughts. They're now living rent free in my head and all of this.... absolute devotion stuff... hrhrhghghghghghghghrhhg. Brain vibrates because this is obviously all related to it because of the few people who could ever possibly understand any part of this series of events and feelings, it'd be another Cipher.

Tyr really does mourn Intelligence like... ghhghg. I'm unwell about it. He gave everything to it and its success. He doesn't regret it. The SIS investigation and the following fall of Imperial Intelligence were some of the worst fucking years of his life and it's destroyed him, really. He's living in and with the ruins like a bombed out city. It destroyed his everything and he'd almost gladly let it finish the job and destroy him to finally get his retribution. And he'd just as gladly let love destroy it all and rebuild it from the rubble when he has the right person beside him. Something something doesn't realize that he doesn't want or need to continue that destruction, he just needs fucking... idk validation or something. Acceptance. Acknowledgement. And then they can work on what "okay" looks like in the aftermath. He needs to be just as responsible for someone else's "okay" to even begin figuring out what the hell it looks like for him. hOUgh anyway.

I'm fucking normal about Cipher Nine, obviously. Thanks for comin' to my TED Talk.

[agentmmayy]

november & december rotation

combining these last two months of 2022 into one rotation post since i did not listen to that much new music but what i did, i found some really good songs to end the year with so here’s a post to start the new year off 

golden child - paravi: whole bop!!!!!!!!! paravi’s voice is gorgeous. delivers the struggle of growing up “the golden child” so poignantly and without remorse. it’s absolutely delicious and cathartic 

remember why you fell in love - natalie madigan: not to blorbo this but i will. chenford. ‘we were adding up sins in the city of angels’ ‘if i said i’m gonna die i’m gonna do it my way’ this song is their entire arc no i don’t take criticism

don’t say - gabrielle aplin: the kind of song to listen to when dancing in the rain or driving through the city looking up at the tall buildings and realizing how so very small and insignificant you are. emo song. 

craigslist personals - WRENN: usually averse to titles like this but this song pleasantly surprised me. the chorus has been stuck in my head and rattling around in it for the past 2 months especially with the line ‘if you pretend i’m not around can you pretend to hear me out’ also the vocals are insane 

don’t go - kate stephenson: ‘you think you could leave me when i need you most i guess i’m dancing with your ghost’  it’s about the continuous cycle of being let down and being ready for them to leave and to get out of the relationship or situation but not wanting to leave the security of it and then the song shifts with same line but instead ‘i guess i’m laughing at your ghost’ the growth!!!!! the journey!!!! the realization that you don’t need them!!! 

nostalgic for the moment - kathryn gallagher: this song has a soft core early-mid 2000s rock aesthetic. favorite part in particular is ‘i like it when you touch me i like it when you call i picture how your clothes look on my living room floor’ something about the cadence and the vocals and just how vivid and honest it is. but also how sexy it is. ‘i pretend my hands are yours whenever i’m bored’ hello??????? 

rivers of my love - natalie madigan: tbh i wasn’t as impressed with this song as the previous one but as soon as i heard ‘i got restless in the bed that we made’ it put me thru the mf roof!!!!!!!!!!!!! what the fuck!!!!!!!!! enraptured ever since. the song is a relentless cry of admission and it hurts so good 

moonlight - madison rose: perhaps my favorite song on this entire rotation. the sing-a-long capability is unparalleled and yes i have sung along to it and danced in my chair and around my room. the perfect song to round out the previous ones 

GHOSTS - PI3RCE: i think this is ranking right up there with ‘memory lane’ on the gut-punching scale because every lyric came for my ass. which. ‘all i know is you’re the only solid thing i’ll ever know’ + ‘all my older loves have crumbled in my memories just like stone now they’re just ghosts’ how am i supposed to live laugh love in this situation!!!!!!! i’m not sure if it’s the slow almost syrupy music or the gentle hushed vocals but the yearning and the grief and the love is so palpable i tear up every time listening. the part about this song that blew my mind the most is that the singer is also a ghost. that’s why the song feels so ephemeral. and i will blorbo this. derek hale. and i’m a sucker for a cello.

putting this here at the end because the transition from don’t go to nostalgic for the moment was too perfect but this is such a contradiction regarding the use of ghosts compared to don’t go. a ghost being someone you’re glad to let go of where it’s bittersweet vs a ghost you can’t let go of and follow them onto the same plane of existence and even then you’re still looking for them is so insane to me. don’t go has the journey and the growth past that state of being meanwhile GHOSTS is stuck just like, well, a ghost

i won’t need to dream - jude york: everything about this song is dreamy (obviously) it reminds me a lot of similar songs, at least lyrically and in the first few lines, from disney films. it’s so hopeful and not exactly an adult version of those songs but one that makes our dreams seem more reachable. also i think my soul ascended hearing 1:04-1:16 for the first time 

[tau1tvec]

In response to anonymous below. It seems to me that the problem for many in this situation is not at all that their photos from the game are worse than others. Here everything is much more global. I'm not saying anything, but probably the point is that people do not have enough attention and approval in real life. There are not enough people who could share their interests. Many in this way try to raise their self-esteem. After all, if they are praised, it means they receive recognition, it means they are good or talented. But the problem is that the simbler community is not really where you should look for a way to raise your self-esteem. My advice to anonymous. Don't try for someone else, play for yourself. Enjoy it. The more you try to keep up with those who do what you think is better, the less motivation you will have to go further. And this applies to everything in life. Not just posts on tumblr. When I first came to Tumblr, I didn’t post anything for a year. I just followed people and liked them. But then, when I started sharing photos, at some point I caught myself thinking that when I start building or creating a Sim, I first of all think about how it will be appreciated on Tumblr. Will others like it? And I stopped enjoying my game. Because it has become a pursuit of the perfect picture. And still it did not turn out perfect, because others were better. I stopped playing and uploading photos. But then I realized that I miss my game. And I began to just play, sometimes share moments from my game and not wait for the approval of others in the form of likes. I am always glad to likes and comments, and this is very important. But I try not to take it as motivation. Even if my photo gets 1 or 2 likes, I'll just move on. It just doesn't matter. Although you may not think so now. Sorry for such a big text and my bad english.

No need to apologize, and I know you're just responding to anon, but I'd also like to respond to this as well, bc I agree with some points, but am wrestling with some.

Firstly there is nothing wrong with turning to online spaces for peer validation. I know it isn't the case everywhere in the world, but this isn't the late 90's, the majority of ppl on this site fall in an age group that was basically raised online, all the time, an online that was so normalized, it's even how you kept up with your irl friends, classmates, coworkers, and family, and a lot of ppl still do this.

There is no difference to me between an elderly man posting a new birdhouse he built on Facebook with other bird enthusiasts, and a teenager showing off their sims blorbos in their cute new cc outfits on Tumblr with other teenagers. Both these people are looking for peer validation, and sometimes yes that can help one's self-esteem, and there's nothing at all wrong with that. For teens, this is actually a part of their adolescent development, if you've got a teen of you're own you know what I'm talking about, and have had a conversation with their pediatrician about "screen time", which is why they encourage both parents and teens to work together to make sure it's managed in a healthy way, so you are absolutely right on that one. Simblr shouldn't be a person's only outlet to build self-esteem, and this isn't an issue that only harms younger ppl, even adults are constantly being encouraged to continue keeping and building irl connections. The ramifications of social media harms us all.

This is human nature, we are meant to want to connect with, love, and bring joy to others, we want to fit in, bc it's how our ancestors quite literally survived. This is how shame worked to govern societies prior to modern day law and order. The problem is a lot of how modern society has been for years is that it's focused on an individualist mentality, despite the fact that our bodies and minds are built for a community mentality.

Okay, now that I got that out I appreciate your concern, and your suggestions, I've used this method myself a few times, and it's certainly helped me rekindle my love for just playing games in general, and letting the creation of content for it be second, I've also picked up other outlets to escape and be creative, some new, some old, and many that don't involve a screen, or a screen name.

I'm a lot better for it, but I understand that this isn't easy or attainable ( whether physically or financially ) for others, so I really wish others would try and remember than when you see ppl like last anon cross your dash.

[thewholedamnboulangerie]

5, 13, and 19 <3

Eee thank you Talia my beloved!! 💕💕💕

5) TV show of the year?

I think we can safely say that it was KinnPorsche The Series: La Forte!! The show that inspired gnome chat to greater heights of insanity than ever before during its runtime, single-handedly tripled the number of fics I have posted on AO3, consumed my brain from April until - well, it's still gnawing on there tbh - and brought me some wonderful new fandom friends. Yeah it wins 🥰🥰🥰

13) How was your birthday this year?

My actual day of birth was super chill and snoozy, it was basically just cake and a takeaway and finishing watching Wheel of Time with my housemates (who had bought me a cake, which was GREAT bc I'd also bought myself a cake. allllll the cake). The exciting bit was supposed to have been the previous day, as I'd had tickets to a play starring literally the man himself, yes you guessed it, Toby Goddamn Stephens, BUT the last three performances (including that one) were cancelled due to cast illness, so a last-minute replacement plan had to be made!! And since Austentatious (stand-up comedians improvising a Jane Austen play based on a title suggestion from the audience, I adore them) had a show scheduled for four days later, and they're a shared fave of mine and the friend I was supposed to see Toby Stephens with, we rounded up five additional friends for good measure and had a lovely after-work theatre outing the following week 🥰

19) What’re you excited about for next year?

Oooh a very interesting and difficult question, because the things I'm most excited for haven't been planned yet, and exist even in my brain in only the most nebulous of ways!! The most certain one is that I'll be spending a lil bit of time at home in the summer, because not one but TWO of my friends from high school are getting married within ten days of each other (insane of them); I think I'm going on holiday abroad with my parents in the early autumn, which will be very exciting if we ever decide on a destination; I will almost certainly be taking a lil trip down to London over my birthday weekend for various antics and shenanigans (again, if I ever get round to planning it); E4 next instalment (not to repeat myself AGAIN, but: if we ever plan it); and ofc IF there is a BOC world tour Europe edition. Well. It WILL be Going Absolutely Insane O'Clock!!!!!! So like. To sum up. I will probably be going places and having a nice time but also I don't have all the information.

...but what I DO know is that I will be continuing to go absolutely insane about the blorbos with all the little gay people who live in my phone, and I am ALSO very excited for that!! I love you all 🥰💖❤️✨🥰

[bohemian-rhapsody-in-blue]

Star Trek for the fandom ask owo

Absolutely! Thank you so much for the ask! (And sorry I didn't see it in my askbox until, like, three days later 😅) I'll be answering for TOS and AOS, as those are the series I'm most familiar with.

Blorbo (favorite character, character I think about the most): My two favorite Star Trek characters are Spock and Chekov, but I'm using Chekov as an answer for a later question, so we shall go with Spock. My boy!!! My half-Vulcan half-human boy!!! My beautiful, intelligent, sarcastic, logical, conflicted, "I am in control of my emotions" boy—neither fully at home with humans or Vulcans, but truly belonging to the Enterprise crew in such an integral, inextricable way that it just wouldn't be the same found family without him!!! I just love this boy. And as this post notes, he is, in fact, the original Blorbo from my shows!

Skrunkly (my baby, character that gives me cuteness aggression, character that is So Shaped): Now THIS would be Chekov, especially AOS Chekov. This sweet Russian whizkid with his adorable accent and his head full of curls and his enthusiasm that "I can do zat!" I'm obsessed with him. He deserves so many hugs. He also counts as a Blorbo, though, because I think about him a lot—especially when I was younger and had skipped several grades, so I was consistently the youngest person in my classes, making it hard to relate to my classmates or make friends. In fact, this very much inspired one of the first fanfics I ever wrote and finished, Shining Star.

Fun fact: AOS Chekov was one of my first and strongest fictional crushes, when I was about 11-12. I desperately wanted to date him and thought he'd be the sweetest boyfriend ever. Even though he was relatively young and cute in comparison to the rest of the Enterprise crew, though, I knew he'd be way out of my league/acceptable age range in real life, as he was 17 in the first movie. It kind of blows my mind, then, that I'm now older than him! The years really do start coming and they don't stop coming.

Scrimblo Bimblo (underrated/underappreciated fave): I feel like Sulu's pretty underrated. I love him in either continuity, though—what's not to love about a simultaneously funny and badass guy who loves plants so much and has SWISHY SWASHY SWORDS? I don't know why he's so underrated!

I also think the casting of John Cho as Spike in the live-action Cowboy Bebop has caused a resurgence in my Sulu appreciation. I love Cho as Spike, but looking at pictures of Sulu reminds me why I like him in the first place! 11 year old me watching Star Trek 🤝 18-year-old me watching live-action Cowboy Bebop: loving (and being very attracted to) John Cho.

Glup Shitto (obscure fave, character that can appear in the background for 0.2 seconds and I won't shut up about it for a week): I don't know if this even really counts as a "character," but the Alfa 177 canine from TOS (The Enemy Within, I believe)—AKA the unicorn dog. They literally just. They stuck a horn and antennae on a dog's head and called it an alien species and we all just accepted it. I'm obsessed with this dog. I love it. I want to see a whole spin-off series just about the dog alive and well and having adventures.

You can't go wrong with the uni-dog.

Poor Little Meow Meow ("problematic," unpopular, controversial, or otherwise pathetic fave): *sigh...* Khan from the AOS movies, which I say only because I had a massive Benedict Cumberbatch phase from ages 11-13. Do I like Khan as a character? No. Would my seventh-grade self swoon whenever she saw him onscreen? Unfortunately, yes—solely because he was Cumberbatch, and that was enough.

Horse Plinko (character I would torment for fun, for whatever reason): Listen. L I S T E N. I wouldn't really torment Kirk for fun. I love my boy Jimothy, and I don't want to see him suffer. (He's been through enough!) What I would do is, I would put him in a slightly compromising situation. Ever-so-slightly. Just compromising enough that it would cause him to rip his shirt. That's all. That's the entirety of the horse plinko torment I would perform. I just want to see one of the famous Kirk Shirt Rips.

Eeby Deeby (character I would send to superhell): I don't actually hate that many characters on Star Trek—plus I have too many happy memories and positive emotions associated with the series/movies to really hate anyone on them. But if I had to send anyone to superhell, I'd pick Sarek. That's what he gets for his A+ parenting skills.

[Blorbo Asks]