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nicoismywaifu · 7 years ago

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FYI: Nico’s a Spy - Part 1

Summary: Nico is the coolest, suavest, Number One Spy in the Universe. Maki is the Bond Girl. And you can't spell evil without Eli. A Love Live Spy AU! Words: 7245 Estimated reading time according to Hemingwayapp.com: 30 minutes Pairings: NicoMaki are just getting started, with RinPana, KotoUmi and NozoEli(?) in the background. Ao3 link: click here!

His foot flat to the floor, the sound of a screaming V12 wailed through the winding roads of the Swiss Alps.

The man looked in his rear-view mirror and gasped. What was left of his head start had disappeared, replaced by a very quick, very loud and very pink Aston Martin behind him, which regarded slowing down for corners as an interesting idea to try some other time.

He brought his eyes back to the road ahead - just in time to slam the brakes for the hairpin. His tyres made a small squeak on exit. His chaser drifted around the corner in a pool of smoke, tyres squealing for mercy.

With another panicked look in his rear-view mirror, he instead a sigh of relief. Because now chasing after the very fast, very pink Aston Martin was a reassuringly grey helicopter gunship, loaded with two healthy racks of missiles either side. That would solve his problem.

Still looking in his mirror, he muttered a word which rhymed with duck, as he saw the pink Aston’s boot lid open and fire a rocket of its own at the helicopter.

Still looking in his mirror, his heart dropped as he saw the explosion.

And this time, still looking in his mirror, he forgot to look up and brake for the upcoming corner until it was too late.

The black Lamborghini hit the railing both side-on and too fast, and pitched into a barrel roll before gravity took over, sending the car roof first down a snowy bank. Embers were already visible from the car’s underside, along with a trail of petrol and fluids leading to the wreckage.

The driver’s door opened and a man crawled out onto the snow. They inched their way from the wreckage with a gun in their hand. And not a moment too soon, because the car then exploded gloriously behind him, causing him to drop his gun in shock and slide just out of reach.

The pink Aston slowed to a stop; its driver stepped out like they had all the time in the world. Her black hair tied with red ribbons either side, she smirked and drew her gun from her holster before making her way down the slope.

‘Who…’ he stammered out, now face to face with his imminent demise. ‘Who are you?’

‘You don’t know?’ she asked, haughtily. ‘I’m the Number One Spy in the Uni-‘

The man tried to reach for his gun discreetly, but all it earned him was a stamp to the wrist. He groaned.

‘How rude! Now I have to start over.’ There was a small cough as she cleared her throat. ‘The Number One Spy in the Universe, no one does it better than Nico Yazawa: the spy who loves you!’

She levelled her Walther at his head.

‘And you are… Well, you’re dead!’

A gunshot cracked, then silence.

‘And… cut!’

In an instant, the silence picked up into a hustle and bustle in the background as the "deceased" miraculously picked themselves off the ground with a helping hand from the actress. The director made her way over to congratulate the star of the show.

‘That was an incredible performance, Yazawa-san! It’s almost like you really are a spy!’

‘Um, yeah,’ said Nico, her smile not faltering. ‘Almost.’

‘Thank you so much for your hard work! I’m sure the music video for Secret Activities will be a success! But can I just ask…’ the director dropped her voice to a whisper. ‘You’re on top of the world right now – you’re the Number One Idol in the Universe! Are you really sure you want to take a break now? What are you planning to do?’

There was a moment as Nico placed a hand to her chin and pondered over how to answer. She eventually settled for a wink. ‘Sorry! That’s classified information.’

With bows to the production staff and the other actors, Nico made her way backstage to her dressing room, where she flumped down into her chair.

‘I’m almost like a spy, huh?’ She chuckled to herself. ‘I think I can go one better than that.’

The director grabbed her laptop and set it on her table. ‘Now then, let’s take a look at the finished product…’

(If you’re curious, it goes something like Nico walking onto shot from the right-hand side of the screen from a camera angle which looks kinda like the barrel of a gun, before firing her gun towards the camera. And then the screen might go red, and the camera angle might sway back and forth before perhaps fading to black and into a grandiose pop song with lyrics vaguely foreshadowing the events to come, while guns, naked women and naked women with guns all dance around in an avant-garde background...)

(Of course, it’s not exactly like that, because copyrights are pesky things. But you get the general idea.)

There are three constants in this world. The first two are death and taxes. The third is that whenever spies are involved in a story, they come in immaculately tailored suits.

Nico Yazawa was no exception to this rule as she stepped out of the taxi in an impeccable dark grey suit, decorated with designer sunglasses, a white pocket square and a salmon pink tie – more than ready for her first day of work.

Standing before a building which looked high-tech even by Tokyo standards, all silvery, shiny and sleek, Nico allowed herself a moment to take in the sight as people bustled by. But there was one recurring topic of conversation which she overheard. Her ears pricked at one which was particularly interesting.

‘Did you see Nico Yazawa’s new music video?’ asked an excited woman.

‘I did!’ her companion replied. ‘She’s amazing, isn’t she? Number one on the charts and beating out A-RISE, with the fastest YouTube video to reach one billion views…’

‘She’s UTX’s star alumni, with a waterfront apartment in Tokyo,’ the other added, a dreamy look in their eyes.

‘I wonder what she’s up to now… probably laying in bed with A-list actresses or the like.’

‘But idols have a love ban, don’t they?’

‘Oh, yeah. That’s one thing I don’t envy. Speaking of which, how about we get to some of our own “secret activities” tonight? It’s been a while.’

‘Oh, you.’ There was a shoulder nudge. ‘Absolutely.’

It was a good start to the day – and not just for Nico. With a spring in her step, she scanned her temporary ID at the door and was escorted into her first day as an agent of espionage.

There wasn’t any time for getting sidetracked. The first thing to do was report to M’s office to be briefed and receive her paperwork, both probably involving lectures about the fragile geopolitical climate and the importance of her role in maintaining safety and global security. The boring stuff Nico couldn’t really care less about, in other words.

Thankfully for her, her more productive ideas disappeared as soon as she entered M’s reception and saw a pretty woman humming to herself as she typed up notes on her shiny, metal desktop. Long ashen hair, tidy grey blazer, posture perfect.

As a professional, there wasn’t any time for getting sidetracked. As an idol, there was always the pesky love ban. But as a spy, there was alwaystime to flirt with the cute secretary.

It would’ve been the perfect time for Nico to make a stylish entrance by throwing her hat at the hatstand and have it land all nice and suave. But that would’ve required her to have a hat – and that would be a crime against modern fashion. Instead, the woman noticed Nico and stopped typing.

‘Ah, good morning!’ she chirped. ‘Can I help you?’

Years of idol training now came in handy, as Nico kept her voice low-toned and effortless, calculated for maximum flirting potential. ‘I’m believe I’m scheduled for a briefing with M, Miss…?’

‘I’m Kotori Minami, but my nickname is Moneypenny,’ she said with a smile. ‘I’m M’s secretary.’

‘Secretary?’ asked Nico, surprise in her voice. ‘That’s a shame. You’re wayyy too cute to be sitting behind a desk all day.’

Kotori giggled – light and sweet. ‘I don’t think my girlfriend would approve of such flattery, Yazawa-san.’

Nico leaned her arms onto the table, grinning as she met Kotori’s gaze. ‘And as for yourself?’

‘I don’t dislike it,’ said Kotori, winking.

‘I hate to interrupt such professional behaviour in my office, but I think it’s about time Yazawa-san was briefed on her assignment,’ said a voice coming from the speaker on Kotori’s desk.

Sighing, Kotori pressed a finger to the intercom. ‘Right away, M. She’ll be with you shortly.’

‘Someone’s impatient,’ Nico said, annoyed at having a good flirt interrupted.

‘Don’t worry,’ whispered Kotori, gently placing a hand over the intercom’s receiver. ‘We can always pick this up later.’

(That was the moment Nico knew joining the secret service was the best decision she’d ever made.)

Looking to get the meeting over with ASAP to resume the more important stuff, i.e. flirting with Moneypenny, she stopped for a moment after ushering herself inside M’s office proper. It’s not that it was strange. Just unexpected.

The walls, the woman’s hair, everything was just so… purple, like a ripe eggplant. Some well cared for plants at the corner of the room, a few scattered comfortable chairs, and a plaque reading simply “M” on her desk.

Her long ponytail swished behind her as the woman stood from her chair to greet Nico. She offered her a warm handshake before inviting her to take a seat at the polished wooden table.

‘Greetings, Yazawa-san, and welcome to the Japanese Secret Intelligence Service! Is what I’d like to say. But I’m actually rather concerned. Can I ask why you thought it was a good idea to make a music video where you prance around “pretending” to be a spy, when you’re actually our newest agent?’

‘It was too good to pass up when I thought about it! Who doesn’t like slinky guitars and sexy women with guns! And besides,’ Nico’s tone turned dismissive, ‘it’s all show business anyway. No-one will think it’s actually real.’

‘And if they do?’ asked M, eyebrow raised.

‘Then I’ll just have to deal with the consequences,’ Nico replied, all confidence and self-assurance.

M made a disapproving look for a moment, before smiling and clapping her hands together to relieve the tension. ‘Confidence is a good trait to have! And besides, if anything goes wrong, it’s your funeral.’

Nico’s smirk turned to a grimace. ‘How reassuring…’

‘Now then, let’s get to business and discuss your assignment. Simply put, it’s the Russians.’ With a stretch of her arms, M settled more comfortably into her chair.

‘Not content with interfering in foreign elections and getting idiots elected as president, the Russians have returned to what they were planning before the end of the Cold War. That is to say, they’re planning for world domination. And this is the woman whose been doing their dirty work.’

Pirouetting her chair 180 degrees, Nico looked to the back of the room where a projector was set up. Definitely Russian, Nico mused – what with the blonde hair and blue eyes and being tall, long legged, plenty of assets…

Not like Nico was jealous or anything.

M continued her explanation. ‘The KGB’s top agent: Eli Ayase. Nicknamed the Fox, she’s clever, cute, and not to be messed with. And as for what they’ve been up to lately…’

Opening her desk drawer, M pulled out several dossiers and placed them before Nico. What stood out most was that they all had a certain bit of Cyrillic emblazoned on them.

Проект Юрий

‘The Russians call it Project Yuri,’ M explained. ‘Through coercion, extortion and a series of defections, they’ve obtained important research on exotic chemicals, neurological processes and rockets. It’s a little foreboding.’ Making a sombre look, she folded her hands together in front of her. ‘We lost a good agent to Ayase in getting these materials. But it’s still not enough. We don’t know how it all fits together, or what their plan actually is.’

Nico felt a lump rise in her throat. ‘This agent… Ayase killed her?’

‘No,’ replied M, ‘not kill. Ayase’s trade is seduction to obtain her information. She’s a whirlwind, leaving a trail of broken hearts and tear-stained pillows in her wake. Something we witnessed in person, as she also stole the access codes to our important databases last month.’

‘All of them?’ Nico was incredulous. ‘Who did she seduce to get all that information?’

‘Um… well…’

Now blushing for some reason, M shifted her shoulders and brought her gaze downwards to the table. Nico watched her, curiosity piqued.

‘So, that might have been me...’

Nico placed a hand over her face. ‘Oh for god’s sake.’

‘I couldn’t help it!’ M shouted, arms crossed in front of her. ‘I was tired and lonely from working all those late nights at the office, and suddenly there’s this beautiful, tall blonde who treats me right for once! How was I supposed to know she was a Russian spy only after our encryption codes?!’

‘It’s actually obvious when you think about it,’ replied Nico.

‘But those legs. Elicchi was a ballet dancer and my god it showed-‘

‘Too much information,’ said Nico, eyebrow twitching. ‘Also, Elicchi?’

‘It was totally worth it; I’d let all our secrets get stolen again-‘

‘M!’

‘Huh?’ She paused, blinked a few times, and then seemed to snap back into reality. ‘Sorry. Lost myself for a moment there. As such, your mission is to track her, and figure out what they’re planning. And due to the gravity of the situation, we’ll be assigning you some special help.’

M pressed a button on the remote and the projector flicked over to the next slide containing a picture and vitals.

‘Maki Nishikino,’ Nozomi said by way of explanation. ‘Prodigious daughter of a family of doctors, top of her cohort at Tokyo University studying medicine. Already published several ground-breaking research papers at the age of 23. If there’s anyone in the world who can understand the Russians are developing and find a way to counteract it, it’s her.’

The lack of a reaction from Nico surprised her, so M turned to find Nico gazing intently at the screen, mouth agape.

‘Is something wrong?’ asked M.

‘No, it’s just…’

It’s one thing being prodigious, but how did this “Maki” get to be so pretty as well? And tall. But again, it’s not like Nico was jealous of that or anything.

‘It’s nothing,’ Nico said eventually.

M shrugged. ‘Ah, well. Your first task is meeting with her, so you can stare at her all you want in person as well.’

Nico’s reply was a faint blush. ‘I… I wasn’t staring!’

‘Suuuure. We’re just about done apart from the paperwork.’ M produced a sealed file from the desk’s drawer and handed it to Nico, who felt the weight of something solid inside. ‘Everything an agent needs: your gun, licence to kill, licence to sleep with beautiful women, and finally, your permanent ID.’

Removing the documents from the folder, Nico’s eyes settled on the small card which she fished out.

Yazawa, Nico

Japanese Secret Intelligence Service

Agent no. 25252

‘Track Ayase,’ M concluded, her emphasis stern. ‘Don’t do anything stupid. I don’t want to lose an agent to her clutches. It’s a lot of paperwork. Plus if anything were to happen to Nishikino-san, her father has some important connections. Not that it’ll matter if the Russians get their way…’ She looked right at Nico, surveying her eyes. ‘Are you ready, Yazawa-san?’

‘Of course!’

M smiled. ‘Wonderful. We’ll call this Operation Hanazono. And since your first duty is to rendezvous with someone… well, I’m sure you know what that means. The garage is right next to the labs. Allow me to show you there.’

‘Great!’ replied Nico. ‘Just give me a moment.’

‘What so important that you don’t want to see your shiny new car?’

Nico replied as if it were obvious.

‘I have to finish flirting with Moneypenny.’

‘Ah, Yazawa-san!’ Kotori looked up eagerly as Nico exited the room. ‘What’s your assignment?’

Nico rebuttoned her suit. ‘I’m off to rendezvous with a Maki Nishikino, apparently.’

‘Ah!’ Kotori’s face lit up. ‘I know her – she’s an old family friend of ours. She’s a nice girl when you get to know her.

‘And when you don’t?’ asked Nico.

‘She might be a little brusque.’

‘If only they could all be as sweet as you, Moneypenny,’ Nico said, sighing.

‘Have a safe trip, Yazawa-san!’ Kotori waved her a fond goodbye. ‘Remember, I always appreciate souvenirs!’

Practically bouncing on her heels, Nico followed M down the hallway, ready to be introduced to her new vehicle. ‘Is it an Aston? I already drove one before, so maybe a Lotus would be nice…’

‘It’s more… Japanese,’ M said carefully.

Nico’s eyes lit up regardless. ‘A 2000 GT?!’

M sighed as she scanned her ID before entering the garage. With no easy way to do things, she elected to break the news. ‘Nicocchi, I’m sure you know that the economy isn’t what it used to be. There’s been a few budget cuts. And the Department wasn’t happy with footing the cost of our old fleet, so we had to make some sacrifices…’

Nico’s eyes went wide with disbelief as she checked out her new set of wheels. ‘Surely you can’t be serious?’

‘I am serious. And I’m Nozomi, not Shirley!’ M paused for a moment, before placing a hand over her mouth. ‘I wasn’t meant to say that.’

‘And now I see how our secrets got stolen,’ Nico muttered under her breath.

‘Whatever.’ M (or Nozomi, whichever) waved her hand dismissively, bringing Nico’s attention back to the car. ‘What do you think of your car?’

‘What do I think?’ Nico parroted with derision. ‘I think calling this thing a car is an insult to other cars.’

It was white, square and tiny: a metal tissue box with wheels.

Nico got the impression that she could tip it over by glowering at it hard enough, and she was trying her level best. What kind of spy drives a kei car?!

She didn’t hide the disgust in her voice. ‘Does it have any gadgets, at least?’

‘Oh, it’s got gadgets,’ M replied brightly. ‘It’s got all the latest technology, such as a reversing camera and blind spot indicators. It’s very practical!’

‘Does it have rockets? An ejector seat? Can it turn into a submarine?’

‘No, no and no.’ Sensing Nico’s obvious displeasure, M sighed. ‘Do you really have to complain about the car so much? I mean, it’ll probably be destroyed in a climactic moment anyway.’

‘True,’ Nico said after consideration. ‘Fine, I’ll take it. On one condition.’

Nozomi’s response was wary. ‘And that is?’

‘Make it pink,’ said Nico, already walking off in the direction of the laboratory.

The lab was the typical pristine white affair, though with a few patches amongst the walls – and sizeable ones at that. Probably from some prototype projects being run. Watching from behind, Nico observed a tall woman with long blue hair removing vials from a centrifuge. Dressed in a lab coat,

‘You must be Yazawa-san, correct?’ When Nico nodded, she made a polite bow.

‘I’m Umi Sonoda, nickname Q. Naturally, I’m the head of Q branch.’

Nico matched her bow, but her eyes strayed to the other occupant in the room.

A ginger haired girl, making vivid colours in a flask as she mixed their contents together. Umi noticed Nico’s reaction. ‘This is my assistant: Honoka Kousaka. Nickname R.’

The ginger looked up and beamed. ‘It’s a pleasure to meet you!’

‘Now pay attention, Yazawa-san,’ said Umi, voice sharp with the sound of someone who became weary of agents ignoring her instructions and using her gadgets for more comic purposes. ‘This equipment will be the difference between life or death out in the field. I cannot stress enough how important it is for you to listen to my instructions and-‘

‘Oooh, what does this button do?’ asked Honoka, her finger already in motion.

‘Honoka, no!’ Umi ducked herself and Nico behind the cover of the lab bench.

*bang!*

An explosion shook the lab, sending vials rattling and textbooks scattering. Not to mention the new, sizable hole in one of the lab walls. Honoka sheepishly rubbed at the back of her neck.

‘Umm… oops?’

‘Every time,’ Umi moaned, hand resting against her forehead. ‘She’s like this every time. But don’t worry, I’m used to this. I won’t let it affect my work-‘

Another *boom!*, followed by Honoka shouting ‘whoops!’

‘The repairmen are on standby-‘

*bang!*

‘We have a good insurance policy-‘

*explosion!*

‘I’m so sorry!’ Honoka begged, facing Umi in a deep bow.

Umi’s patience ran out. ‘Tell me, Honoka: how are you still in this job?’

‘M said she keeps me around because I make everyone else look good,’ Honoka replied brightly.

‘That isn’t a compliment,’ Umi groaned in reply. ‘Yazawa-san, I’m going to need a lie down and some tea with Moneypenny. I’m assigning you one task: prevent Honoka from doing absolutely anything before I return.’

Nico saluted. ‘Roger that.’

‘Umi-chan’s always mean to me,’ Honoka huffed as soon as Umi’s footsteps were safely down the other end of the hallway. ‘Just because things tend to explode around me. Causation doesn’t equal correlation! Or was that the other way around?’

Nico almost felt sympathetic. Then she realised that she was meant to be keeping watch over Honoka, and stopping her from making things worse. But there were just so many red buttons, all just waiting to be pushed. And Umi never said anything about Nico herself...

‘Say, Honoka,’ said Nico, as if struck by a sudden thought. ‘What does this button do?’

‘Mmmm,’ said Honoka, appraising the button with curious blue eyes. ‘I’m not too sure.’

The two took a moment to pause, turned to each other in perfect sync and grinned. ‘Let’s find out!’

‘Yazawa-san.’

Umi’s voice was ice-cold, as Honoka took to inconspicuous whistling in the background. ‘Is there a good explanation as to why my lab has been completely ruined in the five minutes I’ve been gone, despite my instructions?’

Nico did her best to look innocent. The task was made more difficult by standing amongst rubble which wasn’t there fifteen minutes ago. ‘I think it just came apart by itself, really.’

‘I could feel the building shake. From explosions, if I had to guess.’

‘Well,’ Nico said carefully, ‘Japan has a lot of earthquakes…’

Umi crossed her arms. Made a long, hard stare. Then she pinched the bridge of her nose with resignation. ‘Against my better judgment, I’ve decided to grant you access to our latest, most cutting-edge developments.’

‘Because I’m amazing?’ asked Nico.

‘Because M ordered me to,’ replied Umi. She opened a bench drawer and brought out two small objects. ‘I believe your trademark is your hair ribbons?’

Nico nodded, curious.

There was a swell of pride in Umi’s voice. ‘These are hair clips manufactured from a special high-tensile weave. Hold it like a throwing dagger, just like you were trained, and…’

With a quick motion, Umi drew her elbow back and let fly. The ribbon spun through the air with a swish, before sticking into the wall at the far side of the room with a satisfying thock.

‘Eep!’

A few inches left of the impact was Honoka. She turned around to face Umi. ‘You’re so mean!’

Umi dusted down a lapel and ignored her. ‘…it makes for an effective throwing implement, capable of slicing through steel cable.’

‘Well, I’ve always liked to dress sharp,’ Nico quipped.

Umi also ignored the pun. Instead, she walked over to a different lab bench and retrieved another object: dull chrome colour, about the size of a paperback. ‘Now, I’m sure you’re familiar with this.’

‘A make-up case,’ Nico observed.

‘Correct. Except this one has a few tricks, to make your charms even more irresistible.’ Unlatching the box and holding it in one hand, Umi pointed out the gadgets in turn.

‘First, lipstick with the power to hypnotise when applied to the target – several colours. Then you have amnesia-inducing blush powder, your standard issue stun-gun mascara brush and… ah.’

Holding a miniature container in her hand, Umi turned to her assistant. ‘Honoka? Rapid expansion foam, quick escape smoke or the highly volatile plastic explosive: which one did you put in the eyeliner tube?

‘Ummm…’ said Honoka, placing a finger to her chin. ‘I forgot?’

Umi pressed both hands to her face in exasperation. ‘Good luck on that one, Yazawa-san.’

‘I have to find out for myself?!’

‘One last thing, Yazawa-san.’ Caught by surprise, Nico flinched as Umi drew close enough to whisper next to Nico’s ear. ‘Would you kindly stop flirting with Moneypenny? It’d be an awful shame if one of your gadgets were to malfunction one day...’

Nico stood bolt upright. ‘Y-Yes, ma’am.’

‘Good,’ replied Umi, smiling. ‘Then I wish you the best of luck on your assignment.’

Honoka perked up, energetic as ever. ‘Good luck, Nico-chan!’

Strolling her way through the exit with gadgets in her handbag and her new car keys in hand, Nico was sure the last thing she heard before exiting was the routine sound of something exploding, followed by a shout.

‘Honoka!’

‘I’m sorry, I’m sorry!’

It’s a two hour drive from Tokyo to Numazu. Or it would be, in anything except the abomination Nico drove. But at least she could use the extra time to take in the soothing sights and sounds of the coastal beaches when she finally got there. Staring at the sand, taking in the sunshine... the car was slow enough that she might develop a decent tan behind the windscreen.

A high, ornate gate signified that she had reached her destination. One of the Nishikino’s holiday homes. If that wasn’t enough to demonstrate their privileged position, there was even a maid to answer the intercom.

‘Hello, may I help you?’

‘I’m Nico Yazawa – Nishikino-san should be expecting me.’

‘Ah, yes. Certainly.’

The gates parted and allowed her access. Nico found that the villa inside was as lavish as the exterior of the place. After she had parked her car in the garage (and very thankful to be out of the damn thing), the maid greeted her with a bow, before leading her Maki-ward.

‘The young mistress is currently in the middle of writing an important research paper,’ the maid explained. ‘She prefers writing here. There’s no distractions here, unlike in Tokyo. When she was halfway up the staircase, the maid smiled as something else caught her attention. ‘But I think she might be taking a break right now.’

Nico fell silent, hearing the sound of a piano played by skilled hands resonating down the hallway. An encouraging look from the made set her off to check things for herself.

The hallway was almost endless, but she finally found the source. She opened the door and there she was.

She found Maki in full flight. Just caught in the flow and letting the music course through her, as natural to her as breathing. Nico found herself mesmerized at the sight and sound.

With a delicate finish to the piece, Maki reclined herself and let loose a contented sigh.

‘Beautiful.’

Maki started before turning around. She warily eyed the stranger she saw. ‘Thank you.’

‘I’m not just talking about your playing,’ said Nico, taking a step forwards.

There was no reaction from the pianist. ‘And who are you, exactly?’

‘The name’s Nico-‘

‘Nico Yazawa?!’ An excited squeal interrupted their conversation. ‘Is that really you?!’

In the blink of an eye Nico found her personal space invaded by a bespectacled, brown-haired woman. Their noses touched together.

‘Oh my god it is you!’

Nico and Maki watched as the woman sprinted down the hallway, out of sight, then back clutching an armful of posters, CD’s, pamphlets, books – on second thought, it was more difficult to see what the woman hadn’t brought over as she ran back to Nico.

‘Could you please sign my albums and my DVD’s and my posters and my shirt and if it’s not too much trouble can we please take a photograph together?’

‘Anything for a fan!’ replied Nico. She took the phone being offered to her and lined up a two-shot selfie. ‘You know the drill! One, two, three…’

They struck a pose. ‘Nico Nico Nii!’

The brown-haired woman took her phone back and marvelled at the picture. ‘Thank you so, so much! Your new music video was incredible, I’ve watched it so many times, the song was amazing, I loved the part where you have the pink Aston Martin with the missiles, it’s so cool and-’

‘Hanayo,’ Maki said, placing a hand on Hanayo’s shoulder. ‘You should introduce yourself first.’

‘I didn’t even introduce myself?’ In an instant, she became all quiet and blushing from embarrassment. Where did the person from before vanish off to? ‘My name is Hanayo Koizumi. I’m one of Maki-chan’s attendants,’ she mumbled, looking down at the floor and shyly wringing her hands together. ‘Do… Do you remember me? I attended one of your fan meetings this year…’

Nico leaned in for a closer look; Hanayo fidgeted under the scrutiny. ‘Are you sure?’ asked Nico. ‘Because I’m sure I’d remember a cutie like you.’

‘C-Cute?’ she stammered. ‘You… do you really think so?’

‘It’s more than think,’ Nico said with a smile.

Maki cut in, her tone acerbic. ‘Very smooth, Yazawa-san. Sadly, she already has a girlfriend.’

‘Awww,’ said Nico, not bothering to hide her disappointment.

Hanayo giggled. ‘Would you like to meet her? I think she’s getting some exercise on the beach.’

Hanayo led Nico across the grounds to the Nishikino’s private beach as Maki trailed behind them. More accurately, Hanayo rattled off the hundred things she liked about Nico’s latest album and how amazing it was to be meeting the Number One Idol in the Universe while walking in the beach’s general direction. It was only interrupted when she pointed and said ‘oh, by the way, that’s my girlfriend over there’.

If Nico had to describe what she saw, she would have used these terms: a ginger-haired torpedo, swimming against the waves like they weren’t even there. When that torpedo noticed the figures appearing in the shore, she rocketed out of the water like she had afterburners.

‘Kayo-chin!’

The ginger hadn’t bothered to use a towel before launching into a hug and a kiss – but Hanayo seemed used to that as she hugged back. Rin nestled her head against Hanayo’s shoulder to greet the others.

‘And also Maki-chan! And…’ Gazing at the newcomer, she made a confused head-tilt. ‘You look familiar…’

Hanayo’s excitement returned ten-fold. ‘Rin-chan, this is Nico, in the flesh!’

‘Wow, so you’re Nico Yazawa!’ Rin said, bouncing up and down with excitement. ‘Rin’s been to a few of your concerts with Kayo-chin! They were all nyamazing! But it’s strange - I never expected that in person you’d be so much more…’

‘Breathtaking?’ Nico asked. ‘Beautiful?’

Rin beamed. ‘You’re much shorter than I was expecting!’

Maki tried and failed to suppress a giggle, as Hanayo gasped in mortification. ‘Rin-chan!’

‘I’m sorry,’ said Nico, eyebrow twitching. ‘I didn’t quite catch that.’

Still with a hand in front of her mouth, Maki spoke up. ‘You know Rin, she was hitting on Hanayo earlier.’

Rin moved across to place protective arms around Hanayo from behind. ‘That’s no good - we’re about to get married, and Kayo-chin will be Rin’s beautiful bride!’

Hanayo spoke up, timid but sincere. ‘What are you talking about, Rin-chan? You’re the cute one, so you’re going to be the bride, and you’ll have an elegant white dress.’

‘Cu… cute?’ stammered Rin. ‘No way! Kayo-chin is a million times cuter, so she’s going to be the bride!’

‘No, Rin-chan’s the bride!’

‘No, it’s Kayo-chin!’

‘Rin-chan!’

‘Kayo-chin!’

And so the two began a fierce argument as to why the other one was cuter and by how much. Having been interrupted before, Nico decided now was as a good time as any to break the ice with the princess.

‘So… does this happen often?’

‘They live in their own world,’ Maki said, a smile making a brief appearance before she coughed and folded her arms. Instead, she turned to Nico and took the opportunity to look her over without interruption. If she was impressed, she sure didn’t look it. ‘I wanted to say this before. Idol to spy doesn’t seem like a natural career progression.’

‘You’d think that, but a lot of things carry over. How to not stand out in a crowd, how to ward off pushy men, how to handle pretty girls with sharp tongues looking to cut you down.’ The last sentence was punctuated with a smirk at Maki. ‘It’s perfect preparation, really.’

‘Mmm,’ Maki hummed in response.

‘Not to mention that you have to be fit if you want to perform the choreography I do night after night.’ She made a show of putting her arms up and stretching. ‘I think it shows most in my abdominals. Would you like a closer observation, doctor?’

‘No thanks,’ scoffed Maki. ‘Do you really need to hit on every girl you meet?’

‘Yes,’ Nico replied. ‘That’s why I became a spy!’

‘Not that I care or anything, but you haven’t called me cute yet.’

Nico grinned. ‘That’s because you’re not cute.’

‘Oh?’ replied an unimpressed Maki.

‘You’re hot,’ Nico said, adding a wink.

Maki blushed this time, a finger going up to twirl at her hair. ‘S-Shut up.’ She turned her attention to the other two, still engaged in a furious debate as to which one was cuter. ‘You know you can both be the bride, right?’

They turned towards Maki. ‘We can?!’

The Nishikino family maid smiled as she surveyed the scene. The young mistress was getting some much needed human interaction, a nice change from secluding herself in her room and working on her research. And she was never that talkative around strangers, anyway. The newcomer just knew how to push her buttons (though she would never suggest such a thing out loud to Maki).

The chime of the intercom reminded her that, unfortunately, it was time to return to work. She walked to the screen, finding a motorcycle and its rider – quite short, actually – wearing light brown leathers and a matching helmet. Her visor was dark and drawn down.

‘Yes?’ the maid asked. ‘Do you have business here?’

‘A delivery for Maki Nishikino,’ she said, gesturing to the small satchel bag at the rear of her bike.

The maid eyed the unfamiliar courier and bike with suspicion. That said, it wasn’t untoward for the young mistress to purchase items online, especially as gifts for her friends…

‘Very well. I’ll be down to take the delivery.’

Beneath the helmet, the courier smirked.

‘What are you delivering?’ asked the maid, picking up the clipboard handed to her and preparing to sign.

‘Anaesthetic.’

The maid only had time to look up in surprise before the courier delivered a chop to the base of their neck, sending them falling to the ground with less consciousness than normally advisable. The gate creaked as the woman stood up from the bike and opened it wider. Her two companions rode through in an instant. Their leathers were purple and orange respectively.

Maki’s group fell silent at hearing the unexpected purr of motors, and watched with wary eyes as they approached.

Dismounting from their sports bikes on the sand, they moved across the beach towards the other group with purpose and menace, not bothering to take their helmets off. Clearly not a social call.

‘Expecting more company?’ asked Nico.

Maki shook her head. Rin and Hanayo shifted with unease.

‘I’ll take care of this,’ said Nico, taking a confident step ahead of the other three.

She was surprised as Rin stepped forward to flank her, her fists clenched as she crouched into a martial arts stance. ‘We’re nyaut Maki-chan’s bodyguards for nothing!’

And Nico was even more surprised to see Hanayo also walking forwards to stand right beside her, a bo staff wielded in her hands.

‘Um, Hanayo?’ asked Nico. ‘Where did you just get that-‘

‘I really hate fighting,’ Hanayo said, a nervous quiver running through the staff she held in both hands. ‘But the Nishikino’s trust us to take care of their daughter. So… I’ll do my best!’

The two charged into action, Rin leading with a volley of kicks to try and create an opening for Hanayo to strike. They occupied the attention of purple and orange.

The brown-clad one broke away from the skirmish and headed Nico’s way instead. Nico scoffed.

‘Martial arts are fine and everything, but all I have to do is take out my gun, and then…’

She reached down to her hip. Then the other. Patted down a trouser leg. And then the other. Then she unbuttoned her suit jacket, checked her waist and finally her hip once more, her opponent closing in all the while.

‘Well,’ she said sheepishly, tossing her jacket to the side and loosening her tie. ‘It’s lucky I learned taekwondo.’

One on one, Nico was wary as she sussed out her opponent. She also kept her peripheral vision on the other skirmish. The striking thing was the way they moved - more like choreography to a dance, weaving in and out of attacks and countering with lightening footwork. It looked familiar to Nico.

Too familiar.

‘Where have I seen those moves before?’ she murmured, still keeping herself out of range.

Not getting anywhere fast, her opponent showed their annoyance in kicks and punches becoming wild and inaccurate. Tried searching for a decisive blow.

And when that didn’t work out, they turned their attention to Maki instead, who was now isolated from protection. Nico clicked her tongue and sprinted to cut her off. The figure made another sharp turn.

Nico realised too late that she was only acting as a diversion.

Further down the beach, Rin and Hanayo had been separated. Rin held her own against one with ease. That wasn’t the issue.

But without Rin by her side, Hanayo struggled to keep up with her own opponent. She snuck around Hanayo’s strikes, before dancing her way into range and disarmed Hanayo, kicking the staff out of her hands. Hanayo turned to get away, but slipped on the sand.

Tall and intimidating, the purple-clad figure raised the staff above their head with both hands.

Hanayo shut her eyes and brought an arm up to defend herself.

‘Someone… Someone please save me!’

‘Just a minute!’

Eyes opening with trepidation, Hanayo gasped as she saw Rin leap high into the air, aiming a ferocious kick at Hanayo’s attacker. The latter brought up the staff to block the attack. It didn’t matter.

Rin’s foot broke through it and delivered a strike to the crown of their helmet. The figure staggered a few steps, before dazedly slumping into the sand. That’s when the fighting stopped, as the other two switched their attentions to recovering their stricken member. Nico moved to pursue them, but…

‘Rin-chan? Rin-chan!’

Hanayo and Maki hovered over a distressed Rin – tears in her eyes and a swollen foot Nico could see from metres away. Maki got to her knees, before she extended a hand and gingerly pressed it against the base of Rin’s foot. Rin flinched from the touch and groaned.

‘Hanayo.’ Maki’s voice was low. ‘Please go into the house and bring the first-aid kit.’

Hanayo sniffled and rubbed at her eyes and nose. ‘Y-Yes!’

The squeal of tyres and the ear-piercing sound of powerful motorcycles making their exit meant the assault was over. Yet Nico didn’t feel there was much to celebrate as she sidled beside Maki and dropped to her knees in the sand.

‘Is there anything I can do?’ she asked, quietly.

‘Call an ambulance, please.’

‘On it.’

After winding on a bandage with expert precision, Maki double-checked her work. ‘That should be good enough.’

‘Rin-chan!’ Hanayo went back to hovering over Rin. ‘Are you okay?’

‘I’m perfectly fine- ouch!’ Rin winced as she shifted herself and tried to stand up from the ground. With a gentle hand to Rin’s shoulder, Maki eased her back down.

‘Don’t get up, Rin. You’ve broken your foot in several places. I’ve bandaged it up and applied a splint, but you’re going to need to get it plastered up in our hospital.’

Unable to contain herself, Hanayo wrapped her arms around her girlfriend. ‘I was so worried about you…’

Rin nuzzled herself against Hanayo’s neck. ‘Kayo-chin…’

The two shared a tender moment between them.

When she was satisfied that she wouldn’t interrupt, Maki spoke up and drew their attention. ‘One more thing. Rin, Hanayo. You’re both relieved from duty. You are no longer my bodyguards.’

Hanayo gasped. ‘Maki-chan?!’

‘It’s all over now,’ Rin lamented. ‘Now Rin will live the rest of her life with a permnyanent limp, selling her body to make ends meet…’

‘Don’t be so dramatic,’ scoffed Maki, before softening her tone. ‘It’s because I hate seeing my friends get hurt over me. Especially when they have a happy, married life to look forward to. That’s why you’ll both be the housekeepers, taking care of this place while I’m away.’

Hanayo teared up again, touched. ‘Maki-chan…’

‘Maki-chan!’ Rin was so happy she almost jumped up; the three quickly held her back down before she could cause herself more damage. ‘Ow.’

‘So it’s fine if I get hurt instead?’ asked Nico.

‘Exactly,’ said Maki.

Nico rolled her eyes and opened her mouth to retort, before she felt a timid hand clutching at her jacket sleeve. She turned and found Hanayo. ‘Nico-chan,’ she said, as if anticipating Nico’s reaction. ‘I know she can be… a little blunt sometimes, but please look after Maki-chan for us. If something bad happened to her, Rin and I… we wouldn’t…’

Nico reassured her with an arm around her shoulder. ‘Leave it to me, Hanayo.’

The ambulance arrived, and Rin was loaded into the back on a stretcher. She was back in good spirits – almost like she had never been injured in the first place. Though that might have been the painkillers kicking in.

‘Don’t try anything funny with Maki-chan!’ she teased, addressing Nico. ‘She’s still pure and innyacent, you know! After all, she still believes in-‘

Hanayo quickly muffled Rin’s mouth. ‘Rin-chan, no!’

The paramedics closed the ambulance doors and then drove off, leaving Nico and Maki to stand there in bewilderment.

‘What was that all about?’ asked Nico.

Maki shook her head. ‘No idea.’

Things went quiet. Nico took the opportunity to reflect. After all that had happened, there was still a nagging question needing to be answered. ‘Is being attacked by bad guys a usual occurrence?’

‘Of course not,’ answered Maki.

‘Then, why…?’

Nico racked her mind. No motive, no identity. Nothing to go off other than a Kawasaki one of the three left behind. But those were things to check out later. Right now, they were both on the clock for something else.

‘In any case, let’s get in the car, Nishikino-san. We have a mission to get on with.’

As she walked with Nico over to the guest garage, Maki’s jaw dropped as soon as she saw it.

‘You call that thing a car?’

‘Just get the hell in, would you?’

#nicomaki #and now for something completely different

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