#always trying to be better than me
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:(
#for context: i missed out on 4 years of having a true best friend#because i've been stuck with this selfish#egotistical#jealous#girl who's obsessed with grades and intelligence#always trying to be better than me#and then comes up with excuses when she falls short#like an annoying kid on a video game who insists theyre good and then says “i just have bad wifi” when they inevitably fail#she lies to me#she doesnt care about any of our other friends#she has no sense of humor#no shame#she doesnt understand any social cues at all and even if i TELL HER shes making someone uncomfortable she'll deny it#and shes always been like this#ive been calling her my bsf for 4 years#all the while ive missed out on having real genuine bonds with someone else#i still haven't found the watson to my holmes/the holmes to my watson#and i hate it#im so worried im gonna be stuck with her as my best friend forever#because she thinks we're gonna be best friends for life#but the entire time ive been friends with her i literally can hardly tolerate her#she radiates negative energy#always so pessemistic and depressed and she FAKES health conditions as an excuse for stuff#she blames her anxiety/insomnia on EVERYTHING#and she only talks about like 3 things anyway#i dont know what to do#i hate her#i need a new best friend.#im too scared to leave because i cant just say “i hate your personality!”#holmes/watson
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I read too many stories of "women" throughout history who lived as men and wore men's clothing getting beaten and arrested for it, sensationalized in the press as "man-woman," painted as perverts and monsters, put in literal freakshows, and forcibly institutionalized to sit by quietly while non-transmascs loudly and confidently claim that "female masculinity" has never been targeted as much as "male femininity" has. Read some trans and queer history that isn't only about gay men and trans women before you open your mouths about butches and transmascs, or better yet just listen to us about our history and experiences in the first place.
#not to mention the modern day lived experiences of trans men and mascs we are always trying to tell you about#I get laughed at and called a dyke for the way I present but yeah sure non transmasc tumblr user you definitely know my life better than me#I've compiled a reading/re-reading list for myself using material from my trans studies classes & over the next couple weeks#I'll be posting some important bits from them that illustrate some of these situations I've learned about once I have more details#trying not to engage with transandrophobes online but when this rhetoric is coming directly from trans academics it's like :/#transandrophobia#mine
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i think the thing that really gets me about pre-canon durge is their absolute sense of duty, and their utter isolation outside of the cult of bhaal.
most of the cultists seem eager to see durge upon their return, and one even says they were the first to feed him flesh. gortash tells them of an exhibition of a bhaalspawn's corpse and another bhaalspawn's creations and durge immediately plans to attack the hall of wonder to recover them. they then apparently entrust said bhaalspawn's corpse to sceleritas fel to "restore" through taxidermy. they deride orin for her artistry with corpses explicitly because "bhaal will never care" and because orin "[does] not understand lord bhaal".
even their infamous prayer for forgiveness is framed around their absolute submission to bhaal's plans, and the crime that requires forgiveness? admiring his rival's chosen. that's one line, and the next three paragraphs are swearing to carry out his plan exactly as they've been told to, all for his forgiveness.
hell, even their room reinforces this. orin has barely touched the place aside from installing her mother's corpse and her manifesto - and that is some of the only decoration. what was it before orin, an empty room with skulls, a bed, a desk, some chests and a wardrobe?
the durge didn't have any semblance of a life outside of bhaal, aside from gortash. and is it any surprise? the only other hint they ever had a life outside of the cult is the flashback of kid durge murdering their adopted family, all thanks to their father's urging.
bhaal even tries to force them back into isolation after they've been tadpoled by forcing them to kill alfira, and then trying to force a durge who resists him to kill their lover. if they continue resisting, bhaal kills them. bhaal will not allow them to have a life outside of him and, if it weren't for jergal, he would've succeeded.
#bg3 spoilers#the dark urge#honestly writing this all out it's weird that bhaal doesn't try to kill your party when you're at the temple#it'd be perfectly in line with everything else he'd done to durge up until that moment#also just makes me think of how sceleritas will tell an evil durge that the worst thing they've ever done#is giving a beggar a coin without asking for anything in return#ymmv and everyone has their own headcanons but pre canon durge was not a happy or enthusiastic participant as far as canon shows#which is reinforced by gortash saying you've always been better at controlling your urges than orin!#why would durge bother to do that when 'all father wants is death in droves death in numbers'!#honestly i think it's v reasonable to think that durge could've been tempted into bane worship given what little we know of them pre canon#anyway haven't played evil durge myself so very curious abt any insights from that route#baldur's gate
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Just watched Deadpool & Wolverine with polish subs based on dub and I have to be honest, there's much more funny stuff than I expected, considering that the rest of it made me glad I'm not watching it with actual dub
So, things that picked my interest:
Instead "207 when I watch Gossip Girl" he straight up says "207 when I watch porn" (Gossip Girl isn't especialy popular show here so reference wouldn't mean anything for majority of audience anyway, but to straight up say it instead replacing it?)
"Ok peanut, 'guess we're getting that team-up after all" got replaced with "Okej ptysiu, nie ma to jak seks grupowy", which translates to "Okay cutiepie, nothing better than group sex" (??? we're still in the first 5 minutes of the movie)
"you know what they say, when one door closes, your locker at work opens" translated to "Jak to mówią… Jak zamykają od przodu, to ładujesz się od tyłu" which translates roughly to "Like they say... when they close the front, you get in the behind" which I find kinda funny
Peters line about seeing Wade in suit comes of gayish cause he doesn't say he wants to see him in the suit again, he wants to LOOK at him in it again, you know what I mean
intead "This guy looks ready to throw it all away for me" he says "This cutie would gladly get hugged by my bowels" which is a lot more straightforward than I expected
Wades spiel to comic acurate height Wolverine is much more insulting and instead being all "what a cwute short king you awe" translates to "Oh fuck, a furball dwarf? Was there even dwarf like that? Furballs mommy drank lots of booze when she was pregnant? Maybe daddy was a ratferret? Don't even come near me, 'cause you surely have ticks"
"I need you to come with me, right now" to "Zapraszam cię na randke, i to natychmiast" meaning "I invite you to a date, and I mean right now" (Logan replies with "Złotko, nie kręci mnie to" which translates to "Sweetie, I'm not diggin' it" and by "it" I'm honestly not sure if he means Wade himself, the fact that Wade said he's only here because he's the Wolverine just a second ago, or because his suit looks like fetish gear)
"It's quite common to Wolverines after 40" to "It's normal when going trough menopause, I get it"
they replaced "peanut" to different endearments to not be repetive but the most often used one is "ptysiu" (ptyś is a choux pastry; if I had to translate it as english endearment, I'd go with cutiepie). its cute imo
Logans "bub" also got replaced by endearments/insults losely fitting situation but the stupidest one has to be Logan calling Johnny "misiu", which translates to "little bear" and let me tell you, it's HILARIOUS cause it's equvalent of calling a random guy "sweetie" but in the "your grandma asking if you want seconds (yes you do, no you don't have any say)" way
"my boy's wicked strong" is translated to "mój chłopak zna się na rzeczy". It's slightly like the papi situation from spanish dub cause yes, "chłopak"'s direct translation is often "boyfriend" but it is also used as "boy", "guy" or "dude", usualy towards guys younger/about the same age as you. However, the addition of "mój"/"mine, my" makes it much more angled towards boyfriend, wherever they wanted to or not. There are at least three different ways to translate it and make it less gae I know and the've still chosen this one.
They made, in my opinion, the "its a common curtesy to ask" "Its good thing I don't give a fuck" lines better by translating them to "you shoud've ask, thats polite thing to do" "and you can politely fuck off"
they replaced Star Trek reference with Star Wars one, using Han Solo instead Spock and idk. on one hand they did it to THE spirk moment but on the other they made, and I may be reaching, but it seems like covert reference to "I know" scene so ??? (star trek is nowewhere near as known as star wars here so they would probs replace it either way but it also can be just "star trek and star wars sound so much alike, they have to be basically the same, right?" haha joke)
them instead innuendos using the most over the top forms of insult that no one ever heard is kinda funny but only because I only had to read them; if I ever heard somone call somebody "kutasina" irl I would find a way for at least one of us to not be able to hear anything ever again ("cockleter" is my best attempt to recreate this horseshit)
If you guys want to share some treasures from your native dubs/subs, feel free to
#posting it as separate post too for reach#all in all more than i expected but less than i hoped for#cause other than that for me the translation is awful#ive never had such strong urge to find the whole dub script just to rewrite it and be aware i did better job than they did#they either sound like boomers trying to be cool by using all words from these PWN lists or phd owner explaining their thesis#but theyre both at the same time so it comes off even more unnatural#btw id like it to be noted that the star trek point is big reach by me and should be taken with big grain of salt#deadpool & wolverine#wade wilson#logan howlett#languages#poolverine#marvel#mcu#deadpool and wolverine#deadpool#wolverine#deadclaws#for these who dont know what PWN is: they manadge creating and publishing all official dictionaries and educational books in polish#and since 2016 theyve been doing “top words of the youth” list which basicaly gathers all slang used/created this year into top 10 format#users vote and then judges chose acceptable ones (cant be straight up insults etc)#but everyone jokes that these are rigged cause all judges are over 40 and always add words no one even heard of before list came out#and that it exist only so every company can put as much of them as possible into their adds because theyre so “cool” and “fresh”
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oh you know it's all latestage capitalism but the thing is. how are you supposed to be a person inside of this. a person trying to be a better version of yourself.
oh, you started working young, which was kind of hard, but it's just the way stuff works sometimes. and it was 2008 and your family couldn't afford heat. but it's fine, you grow a spine and get used to the professional world and besides it was the suburbs we're talking about here, like, your life could have been actually hard, so what if your father lost his job and you can't afford to move or turn the lights back on. and once you start making money, it's good. you keep doing that. because now they're relying on you. so you have to do that.
oh you were in thousands of dollars of debt at 17 years old so that you could go to school, because you have to go to school if you want to get a "real" job. you even did it "right", you worked parttime and attended community college before you transferred to a public school. you were under so many merit scholarships.
which is fine. you pick yourself up and you say like, okay. i graduated college. i'm holding down a job. i'm doing the Adult Thing, which looks and acts like this, according to all the books i've read. you start with the shitty job and then you climb that corporate ladder.
but the shitty job doesn't cover rent and you stretch yourself too-thin so you get sick. good luck with that. the shitty job no longer pays for your meals. everyone asks why you don't just move, but there's nowhere to move to. and with what money are you going to be moving? and then the loans come back, because they were never going to forgive them, because you were 17 and trying to do the right thing, which was stupid. people are now saying you shouldn't have even gone to school.
which is fine. but because you have no other option, so you do the shitty job, and you apply every day for like 5 new ones, and despite the fact everyone says "there's no one who wants to work!" it's actually just that nobody is fucking hiring so you can either work for 13 dollars an hour in the shitty place you know (where at least you have a passingly friendly relationship with the manager) or you can start from scratch again with a different 13 dollars an hour without knowing how much abuse from the new job you'll be taking.
and if you quit you lose your insurance. if you quit you lose your housing. if you quit, you'll be another burnout kid. the lazy ones. these assholes, look at them!
and you come home to a family dinner and you hear from your father the same old thing. how he worked hard at his job and yes it sucked for a while but he was able to provide for the family and then the house and the dog and the rest of barbie's dream vacation. how the insurance did cover some of it. how you just really need to start speaking up more in manager conversations so they know you're a go-getter. you want to tell him - did you know we're actually doing more now hourly than any previous generation? - but you can't remember where you heard that statistic, and you're far too tired for the fucking argument. and then he starts in on his usual bit. where's the house? where's your kids? where's your ambition.
the same job the same money the same hours doesn't do it anymore. the same nose-to-the-grindstone now just shreds your face off. there's no such thing as upwards mobility, not really. and as far as you're aware, the money certainly is not trickling. you do the soulless stupid shit you signed up for because you fucking have to or else you literally risk your life (food, the apartment, the insurance), but it's not getting you anything. you download the stupid "save more" app and you budget and you do every right thing and then the price of eggs is 7 dollars and you say - oh great! another thing i have to fucking worry about now!
and you go to your stupid job and everyone in your father's generation just tells you to be better about being an adult. they have their homes and their savings account and their bailout and they say. well have you tried not drinking starbucks. well your generation just spends too much on clothing. well you might just be too addicted to travelling. and you - because you need the job - you bite your tongue and don't say i am being held prisoner and you're suggesting i stop pacing my cell if i don't like the scenery and you don't say what the fuck do you think i've been doing with my money and you don't say i haven't spent a cent on something nice in literally forever much less coffee you arrogant asshole. you open and close your bank app and check your loans and check your credit score and check fucking zillow and ziprecruiter and apartments.com just one time more. and still they give you that demeaning little grin and say - see, what you need is -
what you need is for your meds to stop being so fucking expensive. what you need is for the housing bubble to explode into dust. what you need is for billionaires to choke on their wealth. what you need is actual help. what you will get is more economic advice from people who are older-and-wiser.
and above you, almost in a glimmer, you can see the wedged smile of your debt getting toothier, wider.
#i hate when people try to tell me i didn't do it right#what should i have done better#i did it ALL the right way#(not that there is a right way)#it's just that others feel comfortable believing that THEY did it the right way and that's how they made money#whereas i must have just committed a sin somewhere in there! i MUST be doing it wrong!!!#and i'm not a victim!!! im simply experiencing consequences!#and im like. where . where. wherewherewherewhere#i graduated top of my class. i was almost the student speaker.#i have always excelled at work and i work hard#i have been working since i was 13#WHERE !!!!! IS MY FUCKING !!!! MONEY!!!!!!#ps please do not make the assumption i am ablebodied or neurotypical.#i am neither of these things.#it DOES get worse if u are either of those things. so fuckin much#but @ the one anon who was like ''u could be X that would be worse u don't know how lucky u are''#.... don't i?#do i need to be luckier than someone else#or is it possible we are BOTH victims?#and that we need to work TOGETHER to resolve it#not just wave it off since it COULD be harder for someone else... it can be true we BOTH deserve better
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So you're a go to source for all things Dick&Tim bros and you tend to write primarily from Dick's POV. So, odd question, but if you were to summarize their relationship from his POV in FIVE panels which panels would you pick? Keeping in mind that one specific aspect of their relationship that you love needs to be clearly represented by each panel (loyalty, trust etc). I hope this is a fun challenge and not an annoying question so if you don't want to answer that's cool! Have a wonderful day!
No more talk. The same thoughts run through two minds... (SotB 29) / You're my equal. My closest ally. (RR 1) / I can't stop thinking how much I rely on him. (GoG 3)
25 Feelings Dick Has About Tim
This was such a kind ask & a cool challenge which I totally failed; here are TWENTY-five panels of Dick's POV on Tim sdfdsfds Look, I got carried away! Marcia and Cindy! The boys!!
OKAY SO BEFORE I GET TO THE PANELS A FEW NOTES:
WARNING THAT THERE ARE SOME NEGATIVE EMOTIONS IN HERE because I love conflict but but but you gotta remember those are not the final word!! They are complicated people and sometimes they get mad at each other BUT ultimately their relationship is so hugely important in both their lives & they love each other and rely on each other so much -!!! <3
Also I have CONCLUDING THOUGHTS at the end about what Dick's POV leaves out (mostly: a lot of Dick defending & protecting & supporting Tim, which Dick does instinctively but isn't very self-aware about most of the time)
I have loosely organized my list into 5^5 format (5 categories with 5 examples each!), so if you want to skip to a relevant one, here are the categories!!
Below the cut:
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1-5)
On second thought, he's endearing & fun (#6-10)
Grief is complicated & he's all tangled up in mine (#11-15)
I love him & think highly of him (#16-20)
I rely on him & though it's hard for me, I trust him (#21-25)
I hate him and find him infuriating (#1 - 5)
1) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze me and Bruce, but he doesn’t know me at all, he should get lost (New Titans 61)
2) He thinks he’s so smart and can psychoanalyze Bruce but he doesn’t know Bruce at all, he should get lost (Gotham Knights 26)
3) He is so nosy about stuff that is MY business (Robin 0)
4) He sounds like an insincere suck-up half the time... but okay, fine, if you push him he's got a sense of humor about it (New Titans 65)
5) I'm sure he's a better vigilante than me. It's my fault for being a failure, but I resent him anyway. (Nightwing 9 - Dick's having a nightmare)
On second thought, he's kinda endearing (#6-10)
6) He worries too much and gets anxious so easily, but it makes him fun to tease (Robin 67)
7) I'm not that competitive - okay, so maybe I'm a little competitive, I gotta make sure he doesn't get a swelled head (Prodigal)
8) I'm supposed to be his favorite! It is not cool for him to be fanboying over my not-girlfriend's not-boyfriend!! (Birds of Prey 19)
9) We have fun together. I can kick back and relax when it's just the two of us. Plus I get to boss him around a bit. (Prodigal)
10) He’s always trying to reassure me, and I guess it's a little comforting, but also he doesn’t really get it. Or me. He makes excuses that he shouldn't, because he doesn't understand that I suck. (Nightwing 64)
Grief is complicated and he's all tangled up in mine (#11 - 15)
11) He reminds me of everything I try not to think about. Sometimes the memories are so strong it hurts to look at him. (Batman 441)
12) WHY IS HE BEING IMPOSSIBLE ALL OF A SUDDEN??? THIS IS SO FRUSTRATING (Nightwing 139)
13) We're the same. He says all the things I don't let myself think about. It's like arguing with myself. (Nightwing 139)
14) He thinks he gets to tell me what to do but he doesn’t, fuck him (Battle for the Cowl)
15) Life sucks, so what. I sucked it up so he should too (RR 1)
I love him and think highly of him (#16 - 20)
16) He’s the closest thing to a brother I’ll ever have. If someone hurts him I will hurt them harder. (Nightwing 6)
17) I can't handle the idea of losing him. (Nightwing 97)
17) He’s so good and I’m not. I'm afraid I’m bad for him. (Nightwing 110)
18) He’s better than me, and it’s kind of a relief because I know no matter what he’ll be okay. (Gates of Gotham 3)
19) In my head he’s the responsible one. (Gotham Knights 10)
I rely on him, and though it's hard for me, I trust him (#20-25)
20) I know I have to trust him but I'm afraid he'll make the wrong choices and get hurt (Nightwing 139)
21) I'm sure I know what he should do because I see myself in him - not that I can take my own advice, but he should (Blackest Night 3)
22) I trust him. When I’m losing my grip on things, he pulls me back. (Gotham Knights 10)
23) I want him to trust me (Red Robin 12)
24) He can tell when I'm lying. Sometimes he sees my weaknesses better than I wish he did. (Detective Comics 874)
25) He’s always there when I need him. (Teen Titans / Outsiders Secret Files)
Final rambling thoughts:
TIM: Uhh, okay, so I'm just skimming this list - do you really trust me? you're not just saying that? - but anyway, I'm confused because you left some stuff out? Like some stuff that's kinda important? DICK: No? I think I got everything? TIM (starts counting on his fingers): The time I was having a bad day but then I called you. The time I got captured by Two-Face but then you saved me. The time I fell off a train but then you saved me. The time I fell off a building but then you saved me. The time I fell off a different building - DICK: I feel like you're trying to make some kind of point but I'm not sure what it could be.
SO THE THING IS, I put 25 panels in here and not a single one has Dick catching Tim when he’s falling!!! But I think that's a central motif of their relationship from Tim’s POV, not Dick’s. I love Dick, but in some ways I think he is spectacularly un-self-aware.
And I think he especially has a lot of blind spots about Tim. He kinda intermittently gets that Tim admires him, and he enjoys it in a playful I-get-to-boss-you-around way. But Dick tends to consistently underestimate all of his own good qualities & skills, and he meets Tim at a point in his life when he's especially down on himself & his abilities. And so he's unable to see his own influence on Tim, & therefore unable to fully understand a lot of Tim's priorities and loyalties and motivations, because you can't actually understand Tim without understanding Dick's impact on him. There's a fascinating moment in Bruce Wayne: Murderer when Dick's completely blindsided & upset to discover that Tim doesn't entirely trust Bruce, even though this has been a definitive fact of Tim's whole thing ever since he showed up with his Batman needs Robin theory, and Barbara has to actively remind Dick of the obvious-to-everyone-except-Dick fact that a lot of Tim's loyalty is to Dick, and Tim loves Bruce but feels free to be more wary of him. (And to give Bruce credit: this is not something he ever begrudges.) But anyway Babs points this out, and Dick manages to sorta process it for about five seconds, but he cannot actually accept it into his worldview so instead he discards it at the speed of light and goes off and has an argument with Tim instead sdfsfdsf
All of Dick's virtues - Dick's kindness at the circus and Dick's determination to fight through grief and Dick's rigid sense of morals and Dick's vigilante skills and every time Dick has ever backed Tim up or listened to him or protected him or saved him from something or just been casually kind to a stranger in Tim's presence etc etc etc - all these things loom really large in Tim's mental story of Who Dick Is, and What Dick And Tim's Relationship Is. Tim meets Dick before he meets Bruce, trusts Dick more than Bruce, aspires to be Robin instead of Batman. And so in Tim's default version of the story, Dick is the super-special and admirable hero and Tim is... nobody in particular, a tagalong outsider who's barely managing to be a hero, not part of Dick and Bruce's family and not part of their story, who, if he's VERY LUCKY and tries REALLY HARD, might be able to fight his way to proving himself and offering something to Dick that Dick will value, if Dick doesn't get fed up with him first.
But that's not Dick's version of the story!!!
Dick's version of the story is almost the exact opposite, a story where Dick's an outcast failure black sheep who's screwing up everything he tries, and meanwhile Tim is The Sudden New Perfect Robin Who's Better Than Me And Probably Bruce Loves Him More And Probably They Gossip About What A Loser I Am, mixed with a complicated edge of Tim Thinks He's So Smart But He Doesn't Know Me/Us At All. Dick gets much more attached to Tim over time, and Tim gets unnervingly better at the know-it-all psychoanalysis so then Dick gets to have complicated feelings about him being right instead of just annoyance at him for being wrong, plus Dick's relationship with Bruce improves a lot, so Tim stops feeling so threatening. But Dick never fundamentally changes his basic theory of their relationship in which Tim is highly impressive and capable, and Dick is not so much.
And so asking Dick about Tim is kinda like if you asked George Bailey to tell you about Harry Bailey in It's A Wonderful Life; like, you'll be there for five hours while he tells you how great Harry is, and how accomplished Harry is, and how he doesn't really get how or why Harry does the things he does, and maybe George does feel a little resentful or jealous sometimes, but that pales in comparison to all his admiration and trust for Harry who he loves so much, who's better than him in so many ways, and he's not gonna openly gripe but secretly he can't help but feel sometimes like he's such a failure in comparison to Harry, a perfect person who emerged fully formed from Zeus's head with all the virtues and also all the accomplishments, etc. etc. etc. --
-- and he will not actually remember the part where he changed and saved Harry's whole entire life unless you literally send him to an alternate timeline in order to force him to remember it. <3
#i enjoyed thinking about this so much i wrote a novel with All My Thoughts sorry sdfsdfs#tim drake#dick grayson#somewhat tangential but as i was writing this i was thinking about zahri's post#about how different types of stories offer different kinds of emotional payoffs#and i think for me for dick and tim the main two payoffs are:#1) someone who sees & understands your grief for deaths that will never get fixed or get better#and who will face your ghosts with you EVEN WHEN you're also mad at each other#2) someone who you look at and you see all the ways that you suck & he's better & you're a loser who's failed him etc etc#but it turns out that you're wrong. that you're good enough. not that none of the failures were real or that they were all in your head#but it turns out that it's okay that you didn't always immediately do or feel the right thing#and it's okay that you weren't perfect. you can fuck up six thousand ways & everything you did right will still matter#not because of making excuses or allowances or somebody pityingly trying to make you feel better#but because in the end the things you did right are just Genuinely More Valuable than anything you did wrong#all the times you tried & everything that you tried to give - everything you think wasn't good enough - it was.#IN OTHER WORDS they are both convinced they're not good enough & they are both wrong <3#anyway dick and tim are both INCREDIBLY SIMILAR and also CONSTANTLY misreading each other and i love that for them#and like. they will sometimes totally misread each other & then never figure out the part that they misunderstood#but then they manage to keep going anyway. we love each other on purpose <333#ask tag#dick&tim
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gothic lolita machete came to me in a dream
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#HHWAH#but he unironically kind of makes it work though??#I never realized that the leap from what he normally wears to gothic lolita would be this small#basically the same thing just a lot more lace and frills and embroidery#loving! the pomegranates!#it always makes me ecstatic when people find a way to include them or his other... symbols? motifs? objects of significance?#it's nice you kept the red gloves and red heels#the little crosses on the capelet and the stockings too hah#and the massive bow where the fascia would go#I support genderfuckery Machete by the way#his design and mannerisms have always been somewhat androgynous or at least that's what I've been trying to aim for#despite his sharp angular form he's supposed to have an aura of elegance and delicateness#at least on his better days when he's not in full rat man mode#given the choice he'd rather be called beautiful than handsome I'm pretty sure#folks have been mistaking him for a goth lesbian a whole lot lately so I can't be too far off#thank you this made me grin like an idiot when I opened the inbox#gift art#aggiepython#own characters#Machete
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you ever think about vex and percy being so stand-offish and snarky to vox machina but vex being the first one to call them all family and percy cushioning scanlan’s leaving by reminding them they are a family, and percy quietly confessing to grog that it’s nice to have an older brother again? you ever think about the fact that percy and vex, members of a party that — except on rare occasions — existed as a group of seven, had five kids?
#in case it wasn’t clear. I do#trying to work on fics for perc’ahlia week is just every five minutes being like. what if i lost my mind about this tiny insignificant#parallel. except it’s not insignificant to me it’s life ruining#the two smartest in the room to literal parents of five children pipeline is real and they’re living it#percy de rolo#vex’ahlia#percy + vex#vox machina#cr1#critical role#de rolo kids#tlovm spoilers#that always feels like an assumptive tag but better safe than sorry yk
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more clothing (featuring Mafuyu and Haruka)
#two things that bug me:#One: the match up. Previous duos were reasonable and in unit. But...I think Mafuyu and Haruka never interacted in a meaningful manner#I can reason it with them being both seawings..which makes sens but it's such a stupid compromise ong#Second: I initally wanted to go with my usual two designs but this time I noticed that they actually matched quite well so ig it's 1.5#nitpicks aside: more trying things out. I was a bit unsure how to tackle seawing clothes since cloth wouldn't be handy underwater...#but then I thought “But what about making cloth that resemble radiolaria?” and threw all reason away I suppose#It's fancy but not fully it...the armor was fun though. i don't fully think the shoulderplates are that well executed but still it's good i#I do think I'll do art like those without the clothing though#It helps portray bodyshapes better like how Mafuyu's bulkier than Haruka. Or how Shizuku is more roundet than Shiho#...but admittedly I think that's just me subconciously convincing myself to make updated refsheets...#but they are not only refsheets but also my silly little dress-up-game for when I'm bored (always)#art#my art#doodle#project sekai#prsk#hatsune miku colorful stage#wof#wings of fire#haruka kiritani#mafuyu asahina#prsk wof au
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i love the ballad of songbirds and snakes for many reasons, but my favourite has to be its complete and utter repudiation of the myth that humanity is inherently evil.
the first person to raise this idea is dr gaul, who uses it as justification for the games. if savagery is the unchanging, brute nature of human beings, then it must be kept in check; if chaos is inevitable, then so is control. the hunger games are a leash, necessary only because of the rabid dogs it's forced to keep in hand.
but of course, we know both from the original trilogy and tbosas itself that this simply isn't true. over and over again, there are people in the games who choose kindness and compassion and empathy, from lucy gray to jessup to reaper to katniss and peeta. the games reveal the best of humanity even in circumstances specifically curated to bring out only the worst. contrary to what dr gaul believes, they're actually testament to the innate goodness of humanity and its ability to thrive even amidst every attempt to quell it.
and multiple people, including coriolanus himself initially, point out that the worst aspects of the games are largely due to a lack of choice. none of those tributes would be murdering each other if the capitol wasn't forcing them to. but that highlights the very reason that this argument about the nature of humanity is used in the first place: to absolve those who choose to do evil from the guilt they should rightfully bear for that choice.
by the end of the book, coriolanus gives in fully to dr gaul's way of thinking simply because it excuses him from accepting blame for his actions. if he killed sejanus, it's because he had no choice. if he betrayed lucy gray, it's because she would've betrayed him first. coriolanus refuses to believe in the goodness of humanity because that would have meant accepting the goodness that existed within him, and with that came the potential for making a different, better choice - potential that he knew, deep down, he had wasted. attributing his crimes to an innate evil that no one can overcome means that he can't be held accountable, because it's out of his control. and ironically, it is this supposed lack of control over the fundamentals of oneself that coriolanus uses to justify his love for control and authority in all else, even to the bitter end.
the hunger games books have always been a love letter to humanity and the importance of believing in the goodness of your fellow human beings. but in tbosas collins shows you the flip side: that the only people invested in declaring the inherent evil of humanity are those who have no interest in bettering it.
#the hunger games#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#it always irks me so bad when people peddle that humanity is inherently bad nonsense#when it's really nothing more than an excuse to never try to be better or do better
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I got. thoughts. about valens and voices in imperial roman history. but I also got a lot of thoughts about uhhhhhh choosing your brother for co ruling the Fratricide Foundation Story Empire. many thoughts about themistius' oration too
Brotherly Love, Themistius (trans. Peter Heather & David Moncur)
⭐ places I’m at! bsky / pixiv / pillowfort /cohost / cara.app / insta
#it's also the Incest-Cannibalism Empire but that's a discussion for a different blog#all of the heavy hitters were Incest Empires btw. that's a feature of Empire across all of time. not always Cannibalism tho. TRAGIC.#but rome specifically being the Fratricide&Stuprum Empire is funny AND makes parts of this speech feel. uh. UHHHHH.#feels like you're trying to overwrite history and while you succeeded ONCE the uncle-nephew antagonism with a body count#somehow feels worse????? feels worse. i dont like anything that happened to valentinian 2#anyway. as a result: i personally will be including the bigamy accusations against valentinian into my belief system#stuprum babyyyyy! a requirement for every emperor! valens is lacking here so valentinian has to pick up the slack#valens will be giving me an opening to fire shots at figures in christianity i dislike which is honestly better than scandalous sex#later roman empire tag#komiks tag#brother emperors tag#IF. you missed my brother emperors posting. the head in hands thing here is meant to be a little bit offputting on account of#valentinian being valens' imperial maker. that's a life in your hands. overtures of fratricide. etc. you get the point#whatever other subtext you want to apply to it from the subtext spice cabinet. im not picky. this was a quick comic i did#to shake off the depression cobwebs lmao. eventually i'll style guide this era and do comics with more intentional thought later
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i feel like there are so many people who correctly identify what rgu is saying about the role of the prince being harmful, and how utena could never really help anthy through it because of how dehumanizing it is to view someone as a thing to be saved etc etc. but then immediately jump to the opposite extreme of "utena only views anthy as an object and not a human being and her desire to help people was always inherently selfish and bad" and it's just . you have to realize it's more complicated than that. surely.
#just because you understand that utena isn't perfect doesn't mean she's not . good. or at the very least trying to be#this isn't like about a specific post or anything just kind of a general trend in the fandom that has annoyed me for the longest time#and that i've probably posted about before if i had to guess#i am very defensive of utena always and forever. do not be mean to him i will bite#but also do not ignore her flaws obviously. just don't exaggerate them. some of you are basically just saying she's no better than akio#which you have to realize is ridiculous right#revolutionary girl utena#utena#m
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just some quick art of the vees for fun now that im back from my trip. feat. ganguro v1, kogal mirage and rokku v2
#a lil gyaru appreciation and me trying to compile better refs of older gyaru photography#yes v1 gets 2 outfits v1 ALWAYS gets more than one bc i love it#ultrakill#sketches#my art#v1 ultrakill#v2 ultrakill#mirage ultrakill
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i have been a ball of depression lately as well as my physical health worsening pretty severly this past week due to stress and so my friends have been. trying so hard to get me to get out and do things and its very sweet but i feel bad because the whole time i’m just a total mess
#they say they dont mind but i need to really. stop#im stuck.#and i know it’s hard on my friends to see me like this since i’ve been doing a lot better and now am back to my old habits#but i felt bad because they took me out shopping and to dinner tonight and i just had a headache and was limping and couldnt stop talking#about the recent death in my family and all the stress from classes and socially and how lost i feel#and i just wanted so bad to just. enjoy myself but i couldnt#but my friends know about how severe my depression is and are all very used to it#its in fact more normal than not. but i was really. feeling at my best for several months so the crash back down to not eating and sleeping#and being unable to fully tidy my room and all that stuff has been. difficult for me as well as those around me#it’s been normal for me for so long to live terribly that taking care of myself for a while and then losing the drive to has been. hard#im trying to get better but i slide back down#i need to work on my constant self loathing but i keep walking around just. conviced im such a burden and being sad makes it even worse#i just. am always overcompensating for my lack of#ability to love myself with just. constantly showering everyone around me with love and its. hard for me when i dont have the energy to do#even that anymore. its hard to let people take care of me when i just want to take care of them all the time
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I've been reading a bunch of Azula fics, I have three pet peeves (and they bother me a lot because I read "Azula-friendly" only).
Azula shot Iroh with lighting: she didn't. I've just watched one or those bending compilations and her shot even makes the fire noise. there's no crackling of electricity, there's not the whole bending movement she does for lighting.
the same goes for Mai, she was going to shoot fire. (it's not as if we see her shooting with two fingers multiple times...) fire is faster, she's good at it, that's a primary weapon.
sending the Kyoshi warriors, Ty Lee and Mai to prison is the worst thing she could have done. it makes sense to send Suki to the Boiling Rock, as it makes sense that Hakoda was there, they're the leaders. having prisoners of war is not a war crime. actually, war crimes ≠ acts of war. sending the Kyoshi warriors to prison after fighting them is exactly what you expect of people in a war.
Ty Lee and Mai committed treason on her face. that's not even about the betrayal, that's just a whole ass crime. that's the crown princess, the second most important person in the fire nation, literally the only one left to take the throne. if this wasn't a children's show, they'd have been executed before Azula could move again after being chi-blocked.
sure, being resentful about being in prison is fine, but if you don't want to go to prison, perhaps don't commit treason in front of the god-damned crown princess?
now, the worst of all: Azula always wanted to be Fire Lord.
Azula...
born fifth in the line of succession...
who has her grandfather, her father, her uncle, her cousin and her brother in front of her...
Azula always wanted to be Fire Lord.
you mean the kid that has abandonment issues?
not even counting that. after the whole shit with Lu Ten dying, Azulon dying and Ozai usurping the throne. she still has 1) her father in the throne and 2) Zuko as the crown prince. to want to be Fire Lord even then, when she's a lot closer to it, is making her want the people she loves the most to be dead or exiled.
even if you don't believe that she loves someone. why would she bring Zuko back home, restore him as the crown prince, if she wants to be Fire Lord? leave the guy there, betray him after he helped you, that would make more sense for a power-hungry secondborn daughter of the secondborn son than bringing your only competition to the throne.
I don't know where the idea that she always wanted the throne comes from, I just know it's stupid and doesn't fit anything in her show characterization
#atla azula#my little pet peeves#really the idea that she always wanted to be fire lord bothers me so much#trying to kill zuko is more about obeying ozai than anything else#azula is a better sibling than zuko
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...Nothing.
Chen Bowen as CHEN YI & Chiang Tien as AI DI KISEKI: DEAR TO ME (2023)
#kiseki: dear to me#kisekiedit#kdtm#kiseki dear to me#ai di x chen yi#chen yi x ai di#louis chiang#chiang tien#jiang dian#nat chen#chen bowen#uservid#userspring#userspicy#userrain#pdribs#userjjessi#*cajedit#*gif#this is both a chen yi being attracted to ai di gifset and a chen yi longing for the true ai di gifset. and not know how to say either#bc the first time chen yi sees ai di with dyed hair again after ai di gets out of prison... chen yi does try to kiss him. okay. like.#i think when ai di looked up at him there his heart skipped a beat seeing HIS ai di - the TRUE ai di - in front of him again after so long.#& like when ai di was in jail chen yi took months to visit. he knew he would be facing a different ai di than the one he knew before:#he was facing an ai di he knew had feelings for him AND he'd realized his feelings for him in return. & its almost like#the darker hair adds to the mask ai di puts up the times hes forced to face a chen yi he's slept with. a front that pushes chen yi away#but after ai di runs from the shop the next time they meet is in the bar. where chen yi sees ai di with dyed hair again for the first time.#AND it's that scene where chen yi starts actually putting together the pieces ai di has given him without meaning to.#its Then where ai di's mask Actually starts to crack (also shown through chen yi LITERALLY REMOVING A MASK FROM AI DI'S FACE)#'you look better this way'. you look better when you're being your honest self. ...you look better when you look like the ai di#ive always known and always subconsciously loved. chen yi cant HELP but be a little mesmerized i think... he rly just went for it
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