#always exuding sass

[hootybal-lecter]

Showed my mom Good Omens and she giggled pretty much anytime Crowley walked because of the amount of pure ✨sass✨ he puts into each footstep

[puffins-muffins]

Control - The Beginning

Pairing: Jax Teller x Female!Reader Word Count: 7,300 Summary: You return to your hometown as a successful defense attorney to represent SAMCRO President Jax Teller, the former love of your life, in a murder trial. Years after your painful breakup, unresolved feelings resurface, and the lines between your professional duty and personal desires blur. Warnings: 18+ only please, cursing, cheating, mentions of parental death. A/N: So, this is my first Jax/SOA AU-ish fic. This establishes Jax & Reader's beginnings as teens/young adults. Feedback is so greatly appreciated! Beta'd by just myself, all mistakes are my own. I am also new to posting like this so apologies now if I've missed anything. We'll learn as we go. Please be kind.

Jax Teller leaned against his bike in the Charming High School parking lot, his leather kutte draped over his broad shoulders. With a lean, muscular build, he exuded an aura of danger on two wheels. His sandy blonde hair was a tousled mess, falling just below his ears and framing his face in a way that highlighted his rebellious charm. One flash of his boyish, crooked grin sent girls swooning, but when you walked past, you didn’t even glance his way.

Curiosity piqued, Jax straightened up. “Hey,” he called, his voice smooth yet laced with cocky confidence. “You too good to say hi?”

You turned your head slightly, raising an eyebrow at him. “What?”

“I’m Jax Teller.” He starts. “You’re Jimmy’s daughter, aren’t you?” his eyes narrowing slightly as recognition dawned. “I saw you at the clubhouse a few weeks ago when your old man patched into our charter.”

You shrugged, barely reacting. “Yeah, that’s me. So what?”

Jax smirked, intrigued by how unimpressed you seemed. “Just surprised I haven’t seen you around more,” he said, stepping a little closer. “You’re not into the whole MC thing?”

You quickly glanced him up and down, a playful glint in your eye. “Not really my scene.” 

Jax tilted his head, genuinely interested. “That why you won’t give me the time of day, huh?”

You shrugged again, a smirk creeping onto your lips. “Maybe you’re just not as charming as you think you are.”

His grin widened. Most girls would’ve melted under his attention, but you? You gave as good as you got. He liked that. “You might be right, but that’s not going to stop me from trying, darlin’,” he replied, adding a flirtatious wink. “Can I take you somewhere?” he asked, gesturing toward his bike.

You scoffed, glancing down at his bike and then back at him, your tone teasing. “With you? On that? No thanks. I only ride with my dad.”

“Alright, Pep, another time then,” he said, his tone light and flirtatious, making you bite back a smile.

“Pep?” you asked, confusion furrowing your brow. 

“Pepper,” he explained, grinning widely. “You’re kind of spicy, and I like that. I think that nickname suits you.”

After rejecting his ride, he hopped on his bike, strapping on his helmet, ready to leave. “We’ll see how long it takes before you’re begging me to give you a ride.” he said, his voice dripping with innuendo. 

You flashed him a smirk, determination in your eyes. Cool, calm exterior. “Oh, don’t hold your breath, Teller.”

But inside, a rush of conflicting emotions surged through you. His words caused your stomach to flip. The easy banter was just a front; beneath it lay the undeniable pull between you, and you felt it tugging at your heart. As you watched him take off, you couldn’t shake the feeling that you’d be craving that ride sooner than you’d like to admit. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

After that first encounter, it was like a slow, steady burn between you and Jax. At first, you made it a point to keep your distance, though it was impossible to ignore the magnetism between you. He’d always find an excuse to talk to you in the halls, leaning against lockers like he owned the damn place. You’d roll your eyes, give him sass, but there was always that spark — the kind that lit up the air around you both.

Then came the day he convinced you to ride with him. He pulled up to your house one Saturday afternoon, engine rumbling beneath him, and shot you that devil-may-care grin. “C’mon, Pep. You’ve been avoiding this long enough.”

You narrowed your eyes at him, one hand on your hip. “I told you, I don’t do rides, Teller.”

But there was a challenge in your voice, and Jax heard it loud and clear. He just revved the engine, making it purr, his gaze never leaving yours. God, he was cute. “One ride with me. You don’t like it; I’ll never ask again. Please.”

You didn’t respond right away, but the way your heart thumped in your chest betrayed you. Something about Jax made you want to push your own limits, and this was no different. Relenting, you grabbed the helmet he offered and swung your leg over the bike behind him, wrapping your arms tightly around his waist. His body was warm and solid beneath your hands, and you could feel his heartbeat through his leather.

The bike roared to life, and before you knew it, you were speeding down the back roads outside town. Wind whipped through your hair, the world a blur of color as the adrenaline pumped through your veins. Every time Jax took a sharp turn, your grip on him tightened, but soon you weren’t holding on out of fear, you were holding on because you didn’t want to let go. The rumble of the engine, the feel of the wind, the pure freedom - it was intoxicating. And the way Jax handled the bike, confident and effortless, only added to the rush.

He’d glance back at you every now and then, smirking when he saw you weren’t just holding on anymore; you were leaning into it, craving more of that wild thrill. And with every ride, it became more than just adrenaline. It was the way he made you feel when you were with him, completely invincible, like nothing in the world could touch you.

The weeks turned into months, and a montage of memories built up between you two. Sneaking out at night, the hum of his bike your only soundtrack as you wrapped yourself around him, laughing into the wind. Bonfires by the old quarry, where he’d pull you close with that cocky grin, his touch always gentle with you.  Late-night rides to nowhere, where you’d hold him a little tighter, whispering sarcastic comebacks into his ear even as your heart betrayed you, racing faster with every mile.

Then there were those unexpected moments, the quiet ones that caught you off guard. Like when you found yourselves perched on the roof of Teller-Morrow, cocooned in your own little world. In those instances, a different side of Jax emerged—one that was introspective and thoughtful. He would often pull out a notebook, jotting down his thoughts and feelings, exposing a vulnerability that stood in stark contrast to his tough exterior. As he lit a cigarette, you would lean into him, savoring the warmth radiating from his body. You’d tease him playfully, the banter punctuated by that same smile tugging at the corners of your lips. And when you thought he wasn’t paying attention, your gaze would linger on him just a little too long. 

It wasn’t long before you realized something had shifted. The thrill of the ride was more than just the speed and adrenaline. It was the way Jax’s hand would find yours when you weren’t paying attention, the way he’d look at you like you were the only thing that mattered. It was the sound of his laughter, the way his eyes softened when he saw you, the fire and sass he loved to tease but never tried to tame.

One night, after a long ride along the coast, the two of you sat by the edge of the cliff, the ocean crashing beneath you. Jax was beside you, leaning back on his hands, his gaze fixed on the horizon. “You know,” he said after a long stretch of silence, his voice low, “I didn’t think you’d ever actually give in.”

You turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. “Give in to what?”

He grinned, that playful glint in his eyes. “To this. To riding with me. To… us.”

For a moment, you just looked at him, the sunset painting his features in warm, golden light. You couldn’t deny it anymore. The exhilaration wasn’t just from the rides, it was from him. 

“I guess you’re not the worst company,” you admitted, rolling your eyes even as you leaned into him, your head resting against his shoulder.

He chuckled softly, his arm slipping around your waist, pulling you closer. “Yeah, well, you’re my Pep. No one else like you.”

And that’s when you knew you had fallen, not just for the rides, but for the boy who had made you feel alive in ways you hadn’t expected. The boy who saw through your sarcasm, who called you Pepper because he liked your fire, and who made your heart race faster than any ride ever could.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Senior year was a whirlwind. While you were focused on your classes and keeping up with your honor roll status, Jax was slipping further away from school. He barely showed up anymore, spending most of his time at the garage or with the club. There were days when you’d catch glimpses of him, riding in with Opie, that familiar roar of their bikes, the MC patch on his back more of a constant presence than his textbooks.

You had always known Jax was different, more interested in bikes and the MC life than anything school had to offer. But now, it felt like he was already halfway out the door while you were still trying to figure out where the future would take you.

The contrast between the two of you was glaring. You were getting acceptance letters from universities across the country, each one congratulating you on your achievements. It felt surreal, but there was this gnawing ache every time you thought about leaving Charming — leaving him. You had spent the last couple of years with Jax as your constant. The idea of being somewhere without him felt like cutting away a part of yourself.

One afternoon, you met Jax at the garage after school, where he was elbow-deep in the engine of a Harley. He looked up when he heard you approach, wiping his hands on a rag, that familiar grin stretching across his face. “Hey, Pep,” he called, dropping the rag and walking toward you, pulling you in for a quick kiss. “How was your day? Ace another test?”

You rolled your eyes with a smile, nudging him playfully. “Actually, yeah. I got into Berkeley.”

Jax’s face lit up with pride. “Damn, look at you. That’s huge, babe.” He wrapped an arm around your shoulders, squeezing you affectionately.

You leaned into him, inhaling the familiar mix of leather, grease, and smoke. “Yeah… but it’s kinda far, Jax. And I don’t know if I want to go that far. I was thinking maybe San Fran or even Fresno. Somewhere closer.”

Jax looked at you, brow furrowing a bit as he leaned against the workbench. “You’re gonna throw away Berkeley for Charming? Why?”

You shifted, feeling the weight of your answer before you even said it. “Because of you,” you admitted, voice soft but steady. “I don’t want to be miles away from you, from everything I know, my dad. I want to study law, stay close, and—”

He cut you off with a kiss, pulling you closer, his hand resting at the back of your neck. When he pulled away, his eyes were soft but conflicted. “You’re too good for this place. You’ve got this big, bright future ahead of you, and I don’t want to be a reason you hold yourself back.”

You searched his face, trying to understand where this was coming from. “You’re not holding me back, Jax. I want to be near you. Law school, everything — I can do that here.”

He let out a long breath, running a hand through his long hair. “I don’t have a plan. Shit, I’m barely gonna graduate. I’ll probably work at the garage, help with the club… I don’t know where I’ll end up, but it’s not gonna be college, that’s for sure.”

You grabbed his hand, intertwining your fingers with his. “I don’t care about that. I care about you. You don’t have to have some perfect plan. We’ve got time to figure things out.”

Jax smiled softly, but there was something behind it, a flicker of doubt, maybe even fear. He pulled you close, resting his forehead against yours. “You deserve more than just ‘figuring it out.’ You deserve everything. And I don’t know if I can give you that.”

You held his face in your hands, making him look at you. “You’ve always been enough for me, Jax. Always. I’m not going anywhere unless you tell me to.”

Jax only kissed you, this time slower, deeper, like he was holding on to something he was afraid to lose. When he pulled away, he rested his forehead against yours, his voice barely a whisper. “I could never tell you to go. I just… I don’t want to hold you back.”

You kissed him back softly, the noise of the garage fading into the background. “You won’t,” you promised.

But even as you said it, there was a part of you that knew things would never be that simple, not with the club, not with the way Jax was already tied to a world that didn’t leave room for easy choices. Still, in that moment, with his arms wrapped around you and the world at your feet, you believed that somehow, you could make it work.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

 Two years into undergrad and everything felt different. The late-night rides and stolen moments that used to bring you and Jax together now seemed like distant memories. You were buried in textbooks and case studies, drowning in deadlines and long hours at your internship. The law classes were brutal and balancing your workload with everything else left you running on fumes. You’d chosen a college about an hour outside of Charming, far enough to give you space but close enough to keep Jax in your life.

But even with that proximity, things were… different. The once easy connection between you and Jax felt strained, pulled thin under the weight of time, distance, and the lives you were both living now.

You were sitting at a small table in a coffee shop near your campus, your laptop open and legal notes scattered everywhere. Your phone buzzed, a text from Jax lighting up the screen. Hey, been trying to call. Busy?

You stared at the message for a moment, guilt swirling in your chest. You had seen the missed calls earlier, but your study group had gone long, and then there was work. You typed out a quick reply: Yeah, sorry. Studying. You okay?

His response came fast. Yeah, just haven’t seen you in a while. Miss you.

That simple sentence hit harder than you expected. You missed him too, desperately. Lately, it felt like missing him was all you did. You weren’t the same girl who had spent nights riding on the back of his bike, laughing into the wind. Now, you were someone constantly pulled in a dozen directions, and Jax was being swallowed up by the club. He was taking on more responsibilities with the Sons, more rides, more late nights. And you knew what came with that lifestyle - the danger, the temptations. You’d heard about other women. Nothing concrete, but the rumors alone were enough to keep you awake at night.

You texted back, I miss you too. Maybe I can come by tomorrow?

Yeah. I’ll be at the clubhouse. Be good to see you.

The next day, you drove back to Charming, your stomach knotted with a mixture of excitement and anxiety. You parked outside the clubhouse, a place that used to feel like a second home, but now felt distant — like you didn’t quite belong in Jax’s world anymore. You walked inside and immediately saw him at the bar, his back turned as he talked with Opie.

“Hey,” you called, and he turned, that familiar smile lighting up his face as he saw you.

“Hey yourself!”  he said, walking over to wrap his arms around you, a tender kiss placed on your lips. The feel of him, solid and warm, instantly melted some of the tension inside you. For a moment, it felt like everything could be okay, like you were still those two kids who fell in love years ago. But as soon as he pulled away, reality slipped back in.

He led you back to his clubhouse room. Both of you sitting on the bed, his hand resting on your leg as if to anchor you both. You made small talk, catching up on each other’s lives, but the conversation felt stilted. There were gaps now, things unsaid between you, like the life he was leading in the club, the hours he spent with them, and the stories you heard but never wanted to ask about.

“School’s killing me,” you admitted. “I barely have time to breathe, let alone come back here. It’s just... a lot.”

Jax nodded, but you could see the distance in his eyes, the frustration he was trying to mask. “Yeah, you’ve been busy. I get it.”

You sighed, looking into his eyes. “Do you? Because it feels like… I don’t know, like we’re both living these separate lives. When’s the last time we spent more than an hour together?” There was always this heightened tension between you two now.

Jax’s jaw clenched, and he leaned back, rubbing a hand over his face. “I know, I know. But it’s not just you. I’ve got a lot going on too, with the garage, the club and everything…” he trails off.

“And what does ‘everything’ include?” you asked, your voice quieter, a trace of the hurt you’d been holding back slipping through.

He looked at you for a long moment, eyes shadowed with a mix of guilt and defensiveness. “What are you asking?”

You hesitated. This was the conversation you’d both been avoiding, but you couldn’t pretend anymore. “I’m asking if there’s someone else, Jax. I’m asking if the club has taken more than just your time.”

His expression hardened, but there was a flicker of something else beneath it - regret, maybe. “There’s no one else, Pep. Don’t be ridiculous.” He snapped. “But this life… it’s not easy. And you’re not here as much. I’m not saying that’s your fault, but it’s how it is.”

You nodded, blinking back the sting in your eyes. “Yeah, I get it. You’re right. We’re both busy, and it’s hard. But we’re growing apart, Jax. And I don’t know how to fix that.”

He reached for your hand, squeezing it gently. “I don’t want to lose you. But I don’t know how to fix it either.”

There it was — the raw truth neither of you had said out loud until now. You still loved each other, deeply, but it was like trying to hold on to something that kept slipping through your fingers. The connection that had once felt so unbreakable was fraying at the edges, and neither of you knew if you could tie it back together.

You leaned into him, resting your head on his shoulder, his arm wrapping around you like it always had. For now, in this moment, you could pretend that everything was okay. But deep down, you both knew that things had changed.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Another year had passed, and your relationship with Jax was hanging by a thread. Between the LSAT’s, your paralegal job, law school applications, you were constantly thinking about the future. A part of you still wanted that future to include Jax, despite all the cracks.

The tension between you two had been building for months. He’d invited you to a big MC party, but things between you were so fragile that you weren’t sure if going was the best thing. The law firm you worked for was in the middle of a huge case and you didn’t think you would be able to get away from the piles of research you had in front of you. Just as you were grappling with whether to go, your phone buzzed, Jax’s name lighting up across your screen.

Hey Pep, you coming to see me, or what? ;)

The pull between duty and heartache twisted in your chest. The case you were working on was critical, your future in law depended on it, and yet, a part of you longed to see him, to feel connected again. But you couldn’t ignore the creeping sense that you no longer fit in his world. The MC lifestyle felt more alien with every passing day.

Your fingers hovered over the keyboard. I’m slammed with work right now… not sure if I can make it.

The moment the message left your screen, a wave of anxiety hit you. Would he be disappointed? Relieved? Part of you wanted him to push back, to make you feel like you still mattered enough for him to want you there.

A few seconds passed, then your phone buzzed again. His response appeared almost immediately, as if he had been waiting for your message just as eagerly.

You’re always slammed with work. But this is important to me. Come on, it’s just one night. I miss you.

Your heart clenched. He was good at that, making you feel guilty for choosing anything that wasn’t him or the MC. You read the message repeatedly, feeling the weight of his words.

"I miss you."

It was what you wanted to hear, but at the same time, it left you more torn than before. School, the case, it all seemed so distant now. Your mind flickered back to the last time you'd seen him, the strained goodbye, the unsaid things between you two. Maybe one night wouldn't change anything, but what if it did?

The screen dimmed as your phone idled, but you couldn't take your eyes off the words, wondering if you could keep walking this fine line between your past and your future.

You typed out ‘I'll try’ and stared at it for a long moment, your thumb hovering over the send button. It felt like a compromise, a way to keep one foot in each world without fully committing to either. But as you sent it, a pit formed in your stomach. You knew deep down that it wasn’t just about this one night—it was about all the nights before and all the ones that could come after.

Your phone buzzed again almost immediately.

That's my girl. I’ll be waiting for you.

His words sent a familiar warmth through you, but there was something bittersweet about it too. His girl. You weren’t sure if you even belonged to him anymore. Jax had a way of making you feel like nothing had changed, like the years apart hadn’t put a canyon between who you were and who you’d both become.

You sighed, glancing at the stack of case files on your desk. The logical part of you said you should stay, focus on the case. But another part, the one that still longed for the way things used to be, pulled you towards him. Like always.

You decided to work for another hour, hoping the mountain of research would drown out the thoughts of Jax and then head to the party. But time slipped away from you and when you finally glanced at the clock, a surge of panic shot through you. You were hours behind. Cursing under your breath, you threw everything into your bag and bolted out of your dorm.

The drive to Charming was long and familiar, each mile pulling you back to a life you’d tried so hard to leave behind. You hadn’t heard from him; you knew you were hours later than you planned, and he probably thought you weren’t coming. You decided to surprise him at this point, to see his face when you showed up after all. Maybe you could feel like you still belonged in his world, even if only for one night.

The roar of motorcycles echoed faintly in the distance, a sound you knew all too well. You parked a little way down from the clubhouse, your heart hammering in your chest as you walked toward the sounds of the party.

The parking lot was crowded with bikes, the familiar smell of leather and gasoline hitting you as you approached the entrance. The music was loud, people spilled out from the doors, laughing and drinking. You weaved through them, feeling the weight of old eyes on you, some curious, others familiar.

As you stepped inside, the chaos of the party washed over you. It was everything you remembered - loud, wild, and unapologetically SAMCRO. You scanned the room, looking for him, the anticipation of seeing him again made your heart race.

As you navigated through the crowded room, the air thick with smoke, alcohol, and the unmistakable roar of laughter and loud voices, you couldn't help but notice the women, Crow-eaters as they were not so affectionately referred as, draped over several members. They were scantily clad, their bodies pressed close to the bikers, and you felt the sharp sting of being out of place. Their boldness, their ease in this world, it was a stark contrast to the careful, controlled way you lived your life now.

You tugged at the hem of your jacket, suddenly hyper-aware of the more conservative clothes you wore and the way you didn’t fit in. You were polished, buttoned-up, and in a crowd like this, it made you feel like an outsider. The club girls knew their place, their roles in the MC hierarchy clear, but you used to think you belonged here. Now it felt foreign, like you were intruding on a life that had moved on without you. You weren’t one of them, and as much as you tried to pretend this night was about reconnecting with Jax, the reality was painfully obvious. This just wasn’t your world.

When you finally spotted him, it wasn’t the reunion you imagined. There he was, in the corner, alone with another girl, a girl too close for comfort. She was laughing, her hand on his chest, and his expression wasn’t one of protest.

Your stomach dropped. You’d heard rumors swirling around for a while, whispers you hadn’t wanted to believe, but this? This was undeniable.

You stormed over, heart pounding. “What the hell, Jax?”

He looked up, startled and shocked, and you saw the guilt flash across his face. The girl backed off immediately, sensing the tension, but it was too late. The damage was done.

“Pep, wait—” he started, but you weren’t having it.

“Wait for what? For you to finish whatever this is?” You could hear the anger and hurt in your voice, and it took everything not to lose it right there in front of everyone.

Jax stood, frustration mixing with his own guilt. “Shit, Babe - It’s not what it looks like. She’s no one, I swear—”

“Then why was she all over you?” You could feel your hands trembling, the betrayal sharp in your chest. “Do you even care anymore, Jax? Or am I just holding on to something that doesn’t exist?”

He stepped closer, grabbing your arm gently. “Of course I care. Pep, you know I love you and I’m not screwing around.”

You wanted to believe him, but that image of him with her was now burned into your mind. Still, as you stared into his eyes, the same eyes that had looked at you with love for years, you found yourself softening. Maybe it was out of habit, maybe it was out of hope, but you nodded, letting out a shaky breath, not wanting to do this with an audience. “Jax, this can’t happen again.”

He nodded quickly, pulling you into his arms. “I know. I’m sorry. I’ll do better. I swear.”

After the confrontation, he had come to you, apologizing, trying to explain away the situation as a misunderstanding, a mistake. And in that moment, you wanted so badly to believe him, to let the history between you two be enough to erase the pain of what you’d seen.

You stayed and he held you close that night, whispering promises that felt hollow. His arms around you were familiar, but they no longer felt like home. You could feel the space between you two, even as he lay beside you, his breath steady as he fell asleep.

You stared at the ceiling, your mind racing. Everything about this night, this life was a far cry from what you had imagined your future would look like. It didn’t matter how many times he apologized or promised to change. Something between you had shifted, and no amount of love was going to fix it. You knew deep down, as you lay there in the dark, that this had to be the end.

It wasn’t just about the girl he flirted with or the way he had laughed with her like you didn’t exist. It was about the path you were on, the future you were fighting for. It was about who Jax had become and who you had grown into. Jax had chosen this life, and in exchange, never fully choosing you. The club would always come first, and that realization cut deeper than anything else.

Your heart felt heavy as you got dressed quietly, careful not to wake him. The thought of leaving without saying goodbye tore at you, but you knew this had to be done. You had to walk away before the weight of staying crushed you.

You leaned down, placing a soft kiss on his lips, your hand resting on the side of his face, memorizing the feel of him one last time. His lips moved slightly under yours, and for a moment, you thought he might wake, but he didn’t. Part of you was relieved, saying goodbye right now would have been too hard.

Standing over him, you took a deep breath, knowing this might be the last time you’d ever see him like this, your Jax - peaceful, vulnerable. Your eyes lingered on him before you turned and walked out of the room, your heart breaking with every step.

The drive out of Charming felt endless, every mile putting more distance between you and the life you once knew. It gutted you to leave him behind, but deep down, you knew it was the only way to save yourself. You had outgrown this world, and it was time to let go of the one person you thought you’d never lose. As you merged onto the highway, the sun barely beginning to rise, you wiped away the tears that had silently fallen. This was the end, and even though it hurt like hell, you knew it was the right choice.

It had been a few weeks since that night and the heaviness in your heart had only deepened. You spent countless hours wrestling with the decision to end things with Jax. The memories of laughter and love felt like distant echoes, overshadowed by the harsh reality of your lives drifting apart. Tonight, you’d finally decided you were going to have the talk - the one that would sever the last ties binding you to him.

As you gathered your things, the clutter of books and notes on your desk only reminded you of the life you were trying to build apart from him. The stack of law books felt like a barrier, protecting you from the emotional storm you knew was about to hit. You took a deep breath, steeling yourself for the words you would say.

Just as you were about to walk out, a firm knock echoed through your small dorm. You paused, quizzical. You weren’t expecting anyone, and a twinge of anxiety twisted in your stomach.

“Hey,” came the gruff voice from the other side, and your heart dropped. It was Jax.

You opened the door, and your breath caught in your throat at the sight of him. He looked pale, his normally vibrant eyes clouded with something heavy. His usual confident demeanor was replaced by an unsettling vulnerability, and it sent a jolt of panic through you.

“Jax? What’s wrong?”

He stepped inside, his presence both comforting and terrifying. “I—” His voice cracked, and he took a moment, visibly struggling to find the right words. “It’s your dad. He… he’s gone.”

The world around you seemed to tilt on its axis. “What do you mean, gone?” you stammered, heart racing. “What happened?”

His gaze dropped, and he rubbed the back of his neck, a gesture that made your stomach churn. “There was a deal that went south. He got caught in the crossfire. They got him to the hospital, but it was too late.”

Shock flooded your body, a cold wave that left you feeling numb. “No. No, this can’t be happening.” You stumbled back, your vision blurring as tears threatened to spill over. Your father had always been your rock, the steady hand guiding you through life, it had always been just the two of you. “What do you mean caught in the crossfire? He was just… he was fine. I just saw him!”

Jax stepped closer, his expression pained, his own tears threatening to spill over. “I’m so sorry, baby.”

You shook your head, refusing to accept the reality he was laying before you. “You don’t understand. This is… I can’t… I don’t even know how to process this.” The words tumbled out, a desperate plea for understanding that fell flat.

He reached for your arm; his grip firm yet gentle. “Please, let me help you. You don’t have to go through this alone.”

The warmth of his touch ignited a swirl of conflicting emotions within you. He was the last person you wanted to turn to, yet in that moment, the desperation for comfort overpowered everything else. You felt so fragile, and the thought of facing this tragedy without him was daunting.

He cupped your face and in that moment, it was like the ground dropped out from under you. The room spun, and suddenly, everything—the fight, the tension, even your plans to leave Jax, seemed insignificant. Your dad was dead, and the club, the same club that had taken so much from you with Jax, had taken him too.

You collapsed into Jax’s arms, your tears soaking his shirt as you clung to him. And just like that, all your plans shattered. You weren’t thinking about law school anymore. You weren’t even thinking about breaking up with him. All you could think about was the fact that your dad was gone, and Jax was the only one who could understand the weight of that loss.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You and Jax made it through your father’s funeral, now bound together by grief, but even in the depths of your sorrow, it was a fragile connection. He had become your lifeline, holding you close as you navigated the crushing waves of loss. The club surrounded you, providing support in ways you hadn’t expected, ensuring that you wanted for nothing as you buried yourself in your studies during your last year of undergrad. You moved through life on autopilot, the world around you fading into a blur as you focused on school, pretending that everything would somehow work itself out.

As the months passed, acceptance letters from several schools filled your mailbox, a testament to your hard work and determination. But the joy of those accomplishments felt overshadowed by the grief that still clung to you like a heavy fog. Each letter was a reminder of a future you were hesitant to embrace. You were torn, unsure of where to go. Part of you wanted to stay close to Jax, to the familiarity of Charming, while another part yearned for a fresh start, a chance to break free from everything that haunted you.

But while you clung to Jax for comfort, the distance between you was palpable. You knew he was there, physically present, yet your relationship had become stagnant, a shell of what it once was. Jax provided a familiar solace, but it wasn’t enough to bridge the gap that had formed. The love that had once burned brightly now flickered like a candle, struggling against the grief that surrounded you both.

Everything came to a head one night at the clubhouse. As you paused outside Jax’s door, your hand froze on the doorknob, heart racing at the faint sound of laughter inside - his laughter. But he wasn’t alone. With a deep breath, you pushed the door open, and everything seemed to freeze around you.

There he was, sitting on the edge of the bed, shirt half unbuttoned, lips locked with some woman you didn’t recognize. Her laughter mixed with his, a sound that shattered your world once again. Time felt suspended as the reality of the moment set in.

“Jax!” The sound of your voice echoed painfully in the room, causing their laughter to halt abruptly. His eyes widened in shock, but they quickly filled with shame as he processed your presence. The woman beside him blinked, confusion dancing in her eyes, but you ignored her, shaking with betrayal as you stared at him. You didn’t even recognize him anymore.

“Shit! Pep, I—” he started, his voice thick with regret, but the words evaporated in the tension that filled the room.

Anger boiled within you, raw and relentless, as you stepped forward, heart racing. “You said you loved me! You promised you’d do better!”

He shifted uncomfortably, guilt etching deeper lines on his face. He couldn’t meet your gaze, knowing he had fucked up royally. The realization of what he had done hung heavily in the air, a small part of him recognizing that he had sabotaged your relationship out of fear. Fear of feeling stifled, of the stagnant love that no longer felt like home to him either.

When he reached out to touch you, desperation tinged with shame, you yelled. “Don’t! Don’t fucking touch me!” The slap was swift, fueled by raw emotion, landing with a force that surprised even you. The sound echoed in the room, sharp and definitive, as Jax's head snapped to the side, his face flushed with the imprint of your anger. The room seemed to hold its breath, and everything inside you unraveled.

The warmth and safety Jax once provided had turned cold. You could see the regret in his eyes, but it wasn’t enough to undo this betrayal.

That’s when Opie appeared, his expression a mix of sadness and empathy. He stood silently, a protective barrier between you and the pain. Without saying a word, he placed a hand on your shoulder, grounding you as everything inside you threatened to collapse. Jax remained quiet, his shame on full display, knowing he had lost something precious but feeling powerless to reclaim it.

“I’ll take care of her,” Opie said quietly, his voice steady. He didn’t need to say more; Jax knew better than to push. The hurt in his eyes was evident, but it was too late for apologies.

“Pep, please,” Jax finally managed, his voice hoarse, but it lacked the strength of conviction. His eyes were desperate, but beneath that desperation lay a deep-rooted acknowledgment of his failures, the realization that he had successfully pushed you away.

“Stop,” you snapped, tears streaming down your cheeks, anger morphing into deep-seated sorrow.

He stood there, paralyzed, unable to find the words that could ever justify this.

Opie stepped forward, his presence a comforting weight, trying to navigate you out of the room. “Come on. Let’s get you out of here.”

You turned away from Jax, feeling the ache of loss settle in your chest like a stone. Only a silent farewell passing between you. It was done. You and Jax were over.

As Opie led you away, the weight of everything crashed down on you. You had lost your father, and now, Jax too – his love that once brought you to life felt distant, unreachable. The noise of the clubhouse disappeared into the background, leaving you in a world where the only constant was your grief, and you didn’t know how to move forward.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Leaving Charming felt like tearing a piece of your heart out. You had chosen the best law school you could, deliberately picking one as far away from California as possible. It was a decision that both terrified and relieved you. You needed to escape the memories, the grief, and, most of all, Jax.

As the day of your departure drew closer, the reality of it settled in, leaving you with an emptiness that clashed with your determination. You packed your things meticulously, each item a reminder of what you were leaving behind. But as much as you wanted to flee from your past, a part of you still ached for closure.

So, you agreed to meet Jax for a final goodbye, knowing it was something you both needed, even if it felt hollow. You chose a secluded spot in the park where you used to share lazy afternoons, a place where laughter once rang in the air. But today, the atmosphere was heavy with unspoken words and lingering sadness.

Jax was already there when you arrived, leaning against his bike, arms crossed, looking every bit the man you'd fallen for. His eyes locked on yours, and for a moment, neither of you said anything. The silence felt thick, filled with all the things you couldn’t say anymore.

“So, this is it,” Jax finally said, his voice quieter than usual. There was no edge, no teasing, only rawness.

You nodded, unsure of how to respond without unraveling. “Yeah, it is.”

He looked down, running a hand through his hair, the same way he always did when he didn’t know what to say. “I get why you’re going. You need to do this.” Jax replied, his eyes searching yours for something - understanding, perhaps, or forgiveness. “It’s just… hard to believe you won’t be here.”

You swallowed, your heart tightening in your chest. All you could muster was a simple nod of understanding.

For a solitary moment, it was like time rewound, and you were back to being the two of you, before everything got complicated. Before the weight of the club, the violence, and the grief. It would have been so easy to fall into his arms, but you held yourself still, knowing that this moment wasn’t about holding on, it was about letting go.

Jax straightened, stepping closer, his blue eyes still searching yours. “I wanted this life for us, you know? A real future.” His voice broke, just slightly, and it hit you harder than you expected.

“I know,” you whispered, your own emotions threatening to spill over. “But that’s not where we’re headed anymore.”

He reached for your hand, his grip firm but tender, as if it was the last connection keeping you from drifting apart. “Just… promise me one thing.”

You looked at him, your throat tight with unshed tears. “What?”

“Don’t forget about me, alright? Even if I’m just a memory, don’t forget.”

The weight of his words settled deep inside you. You could promise that, but you weren’t sure how much of Jax would be left in you once you stepped onto that plane. Still, you nodded, because in that moment, it was the only thing you could give him.

“Goodbye, Jax.”

His jaw clenched, and he pulled you into a hug, strong and secure. The scent of leather, smoke, and something distinctly Jax, washed over you, making you dizzy with the realization that this was truly the end. And when he let go, you didn’t look back.

As you walked away, each step felt heavier than the last, there was no turning around. Not now. You had to let him go, even if part of you never would.

Part 2 - The Reunion

[enhadiares]

“GAME OVER”

Chapter 1 | Let the game begin

👾A/N: I AM FINALLY STARTING A SERIES! It's very exciting but since it's my first time after my hiatus so I hope you guys like it!

👾Pairing: enha x fem!reader

👾Warning: This is all fictional!

👾Synopsis: Bound within the confines of a virtual realm, a group of friends must decipher its mysteries to secure their freedom. Amidst the labyrinth of challenges, they encounter a formidable adversary - a lurking shadow who controls their fate. As alliances fracture and betrayals unfold, they must confront not only the puzzles of the game but also the sinister presence that seeks to keep them imprisoned. Only by overcoming both external threats and internal conflicts can they hope to break free from the shadows within the game

A new dawn breaks in one of the bustling state of the United States, with the sun casting its usual bright rays, offering a glimmer of hope to some for a better day ahead.

Amidst it, boredom creeps in, despite the anticipation of summer vacations being fun and exhilarating, right?

Well, not for you.

The shrill ring of your black device snaps you out of your reverie, prompting you to answer.

"Look who's on the line! It's the white sheep!" you exclaim upon picking up the call.

"Why the crankiness, woman? I called because we're considering checking out the new arcade that recently opened" Jungwon, the young man, explains.

"A new arcade? Count me in!" you reply eagerly, rising from your seat with excitement finally brewing. You've always adored arcades and never shy away from expressing it.

"Alright, my lady, come over to my place at 5, and we'll head out together" he chuckles at your enthusiasm.

"Sure thing, Mr. Sheep Garden" you retort playfully before hanging up. You flop onto your bed, letting out a scream into your pillow while kicking your feet in the air.

Now, that's what a vacation should feel like.

••••••

The following day dawns, and you wake up a bit later than usual due to the excitement from the previous night hindering your sleep.

After completing your morning routine in the bathroom, you emerge in a robe, pondering over what to wear.

After much deliberation, you settle on a stunning Y2K fashion ensemble.

Once dressed, you gaze at your reflection in the mirror, feeling thoroughly satisfied with the result.

Hailing an Uber, you head to Jungwon's house as planned, the journey taking approximately 15 minutes.

Upon arriving at the house, you press the doorbell, and a familiar face greets you with a beaming smile.

"She's here, guys!!" he announces excitedly, his happiness infectious.

"Didn't expect such a warm welcome! You're like a ray of sunshine, so bright" you remark, sharing in his enthusiasm.

This is Sunoo, the embodiment of cheerfulness within the group. His actions are naturally endearing, and his voice resonates like that of an angel.

"Hey, what's the hold-up? Let her in first" another voice interjects, followed by a playful tap on Sunoo's head.

It's Jay, the nurturing figure of the group, known for his caring nature and impeccable sense of style. Though he plays the role of the group's guardian, his fashion choices exude sophistication and elegance, earning him admiration from all.

With a smile, you step into the house, unaware of the lurking presence in the shadows nearby.

Inside, the rest of the group awaits, each offering their own unique greeting as you enter.

Jake bounds toward you like an excited puppy, his invisible tail wagging with joy as he envelops you in a tight hug.

"Calm down, Layla's dad" you giggle, reciprocating his affection.

Sunghoon follows with a firm handshake, his demeanor as cool as ice, a nod to his past figure skating exploits , but he doesn't lack warmth nor humour.

"Oh yes, Mr. Icy" you wink, returning his handshake with equal firmness.

"Look here comes the sheep" you proclaim with a hint of sass as Jungwon greets you with a lively laugh, his playful demeanor belying his natural leadership qualities.

"Call me something cool, woman, 'sheep' sounds so childish" he teases, adding to the playful banter.

Next is Niki, the youngest of the group, greeting you with a wide smile and a brotherly hug. "Yessir," you both exclaim simultaneously, sharing a bond forged in mischief and camaraderie.

Finally, Heeseung, the group's ace, joins in, his mastery evident in everything he does.

"What are you waiting for, Bambi boy?" you jest, opening your arms for a hug, which he accepts with a smile.

As the group settles in, a figure emerges from the bushes outside, a smirk playing across their lips.

"All the players are assembled," they declare with a hint of mischief.

And with that, the stage is set.

Let the game begin.

[valentine-cafe]

˖⁺. ﹙ the femme fatale admiral. ﹚: rishen herrera 1311 .𖹭 ݁

. . . wanna play his lovegame !? 🍒 : “ ayy. . . pobrecito, ¿Te estoy sonrojando, cariño? that’s adorable, look at me with those pretty eyes of yours, thaat’s it. ’  ”

꒰ verse ꒱ 1311

꒰ species ꒱ human 

꒰ ethnicity ꒱ mexican-indian

꒰ age ꒱ 46

꒰ gender ꒱ genderfluid, amab

꒰ mbti ꒱ intj/estj

꒰ alias ꒱ scarlet cyanide, admiral of aegis, admiral (herrera), (director herrera), boss (specifically his special division), rishie (yŭ xī)

꒰ story ꒱ 

driven by duty and justice; high off of the stakes and always ready for a challenge, we find ourselves rishen herrera. the admiral of aegis known for his quick wit and effortless charm. sarcastic and seductive, with a click of his heels as he steps through the halls of which he’s highly respected in.

from undercover missions to hacking mainframes, sniper to knifeman,

an assassin my trade and mastermind by nature, he strives for the protection of those who cannot protect themselves. leading his organisation with dignity and strength, while trying to maintain the conflict occurring throughout his city between human and supernatural alike.

it’s hard work but he needs to keep going. even if it takes endless hours and countless risks,

he has to.

 

꒰ appearance ꒱

deep maroon eyes, sharp eyes framed with beautiful black winged eyeliner.

soft medium-length, fluffy and curly dark brown hair that extend halfway down his neck and tickle just a bit of his back.

bronze skin with a wide array of beauty spots on the left side of his face and along his forearms

a very androgynous face that leans more towards feminine features, has some sharpness here and there

stands at 6’0” in height and has a slender figure

deep red stiletto nails, sharp enough to leave a few tears in the skin of his enemies.

deep red lipsticks that accentuate her lips nicely, and make that deadly smile of hers look all the more beautiful.

triple lobe piercings on either ear, with rose gold piercings covered or dangling with small rubies.

sometimes wears septum piercing, it depends on the day and time

midline tongue piercing with focus on the barb at the underside of his tongue

often, he dresses quite feminine, particularly the femme fatale aesthetic ( sleek red dresses, sometimes fishnet stockings, stilettos, dark femme makeup, etc ).

when he dresses masc it’s often by dressing in darker hues of clothes, rocking the look with lots of darker jewellery and overall makeup as well — using his makeup to bring out the more masculine features of his face

his hands and neck are adorned by minimalistic rose gold and red jewellery

rose gold rings littering his fingers.

has a navel piercing.

 

꒰ personality ꒱

teaming with sarcasm and sass, he’s known especially for his sharp tongue

known as a master strategist and mastermind, his intelligence and wit is another main characteristic for him

quite blunt. ties into his straightforwardness. can sometimes even come off as a bit monotone or exasperated

charismatic despite it all, yet in am effortless way. a sort of cool confidence that exudes off of him in everything that he does

is known to have a silver tongue when it counts. incredibly deceptive. a scarily good actor

flirty when he needs to be. knows how to wrap people around his finger. can be quite the seductress

observant and particularly calculating. he’s very quick to analyse and create a plan — which ties in well with his quick adaptability. might even be a bit cunning sometimes

always ready for a challenge, surprisingly likes making bets

can be cocky, especially when it comes to confidence in his intellect

can be irritated quickly but he has a controlled sort of annoyance and anger. an almost calm rage

a natural leader, very highly respected and feared

duty-driven and prefers to work rather than let his mind run in other ways

 

꒰ with a lover ꒱

teases but like in a very shameless way — he does not hold back with the small teasing flirts or playful pokes that leave you flustered in several different ways. whether it is out of shyness or embarrassment.

very flirty — he wants you to know and see how all over you he is. she must be marking you, musn’t she? make sure you know that you belong to him.

does not hesitate or hold back on the pda. his hands and lips roaming your body and touching you as much as possible. pulling you all flush against him is a necessity, he doesn’t care who’s watching.

displays a lot of his affection by physical affection. loving, careful and tender touches, and brushes of his hands on your face of wherever you allow him to touch. can be verbally affectionate too.

cannot get his lips off of yours, he likes pulling you off to corners and kissing you breathless whenever possible.

can get quite protective, a bit more than usual. this can also bleed into possessiveness, but he tries not to let it get out of hand.

always has to have his hands on you in some type of way.

can sometimes be rather clingy, both physically and emotionally. he clings to you in his sleep, a part of him always paranoid you will fade if he lets go.

tries to use the time he has with you wisely because he’s a very busy person — often being caught up in his work and such. he always tries to make up for it.

late night/early morning cuddles or little coffee dates in his office is one of his favorite pass times. he gets to be with his beloved, and that is honestly all that he needs to cheer him up after a bleak night or day.

can and will do your make-up if you ask him to, rushing to find the makeup kit and sitting you down in front of his large vanity to doll you up.

late night cooking with him that can turn into little dances around his apartment kitchen. the gentle sway of your bodies to the music creating fond memories and greeting the old.

 

꒰ strengths ꒱

mastermind: very strategic and calculative, intelligent — rishen is a mastermind, able to create tacticts and strategies at a quick and efficient level

combat: is extremely skilled in combat and knows his way around different techniques, new and old.

stealth: particularly stealthy along with being extremely light on his feet.

martial arts: is very skilled in an array of martial arts

acting / deception: extremely skilled in the art of deception. good at putting on a pretty face and swaying people around before catching them in their act and exposing them.

weapon mastery: has quite the adaptability with weapons and uses his analytic advantages to learn them quicker

adaptability: as previously mentioned, rishen is an extremely adaptable person, and weapons are not all that he is adaptable in. being good at adapting with environments, people and fighting techniques.

advanced tech skills: admiral herrera has always had a bit of a knack in the advanced technical skills from firewalls and defence to hacking and configuring

 

꒰ weaknesses ꒱

heart condition: has a rare heart condition that he was born with, subjecting him to heart attacks throughout his life. it is vital to keep him calm to avoid cardiac arrests.

unstable hands: ( sometimes ) his hands can get a bit shaky and sometimes convulse due to physical trauma issues.

 

꒰ relationships ꒱

copper: boyfriend ( it’s complicated ) ( emotional support shrimp

emerald: boyfriend ( it’s complicated ) ( emotional support bunny

alessio agresta: enemy

jìngyí agresta: enemy

zhào yŭ xī: work partner, best friend, younger sibling figure.

zhào yizé: friend, work partner

zhào hàoyú: enemy

zhào haitāo: neutral, work partner

yuè mèng yáo: on and off work partner

zhào mùchén: enemy

shimada takara: friend, work partner

kyung seong-jin: enemy

shalika vaishya: right hand, best friend

 

꒰ extra ꒱

really loves ducks — he thinks they are adorable

he is particularly skilled in aerial dancing

will be grumpy if he doesn’t have his cup of hot chocolate in the morning ( yŭ xī handles it mostly )

he can speak spanish ( latin american ), hindi, a decent amount of chinese

plays the bass, he was in a band

[hushhushplzzz]

An Underrated Rina Moment II

(and an exploration on Terri’s shifting perspective on Gina and Ricky and Gina&Ricky and how that is largely due to the Ricky Effect)

(aaaand a slight defence of Terri Porter; don’t kill me lol)

Ricky’s super power is 100% the ability to charm the pants off the most prickly, scary, take no ish, rough around the edges, I-wear-the-pants divas and it’s hilarious. All three of the girlboss characters in the show, Gina, Lily, and Dani, became romantically interested in him, and it’s because he exudes trophy boyfriend, malewife, earnest puppy dog vibes and their instinct tells them he’s their compatible opposite.

Ricky has a habit of melting the hearts of the most prickly of women, and Terri Porter is no exception. She was definitely charmed by his care for her daughter, both when he sassed her and when he professed his love in front of the press conference.

But joking aside, Ricky managed to change Terri’s mind about him in only half a day, 1.5 conversations, and a declaration of love. And that’s because, much like he did for Gina, Ricky was the connecting point—a bridge, a catalyst—that allowed Terri Porter to finally reconcile the old Gina she knew with the current Gina who’d grown and become a stronger version of her former self.

And this is why this moment hits so juicy to me:

Will come back to this in a bit!

Incredibly long post ahoy :3

I’ve watched s4 about 8 times now, and I’ve come to the conclusion I actually kind of like Terri Porter as a character.

(Yes, controversial, I know. Please put down the pitchforks 😅).

Don’t get me wrong, she could definitely learn a thing or twenty from Michelle Greene (who wins Best Mom Award™, no contest), but Terri is a well-written archetype of the Overbearing Mother. And having grown up with a similar type of mom, it was pretty refreshing to see a storyline of someone navigating that type of relationship with their own mother and how it affected their upbringing. And above that, it was even more refreshing to see Terri’s mentality start to transform.

With Terri, undoubtedly, her motivations and her love for daughter inspire her actions, however questionable those actions may be. But she clearly wants nothing more than her daughter to be successful and become a star as she was always meant to be. As Michelle and Lynne stated during the HSM 3 performance, kids don’t know how much their parents worry about them. And Terri, no matter how misguided, I truly believe that is how she translates her uncontested love and worry for Gina, through pushing her to be the best and extremely successful. Terri just has a homogenous view of what constitutes success and primarily attributes success to the amount of tangible ambitions and subsequent accomplishments fulfilled.

Is this the best way to approach raising children? No; too much and this is how kids develop anxiety and imposter syndrome, among other issues.

Should Terri let Gina make decisions about what’s best for her in her own time? Absolutely.

But do I understand where Terri is coming from by pushing about New Zealand? Very much, yes.

Terri Porter has tunnel vision and singleminded focus on the future. A mentality of eyes on the prize and a focus on securing future goals. She views each action taken in life as yet another step up the stairwell leading one to their ultimate goal/success. It’s an admirable quality to have—the ability to plan so substantially every step you take to reach the top of your goals—but that tunnel vision often prevents one from living in the moment, or in Terri’s case, from seeing the importance of Gina’s journey to growth and balance and not just the final destination.

She raised Gina with this mentality and this is the root of where overly ambitious Gina 1.0 comes from: the desperate pursuit for lead through sabotage and manipulation, only for her to realise it wasn’t what she’d been looking for at the time. (Now confirmed to have been purpose and acceptance that she was actually seeking.)

But don’t get me wrong about Gina: she wanted a stable community and people who saw her and understood her, but she herself is also a naturally ambitious, driven girl who has the chops and desire to go after her dreams with no hesitation. She gets straight As, has no problem stepping into the spotlight, and is an insanely talented triple threat. Could you argue that this is potentially nurture over nature because Gina has been conditioned by her mom to be as ambitious as possible through her upbringing? Perhaps, but s2 and s3 we saw a Gina not under the influence of her mother’s overbearing nature, and we were explicitly shown how much her confidence was negatively affected by not pursuing the lead in s2 versus how well-balanced and satisfied she was in s3.

Gina is meant to be a star, and she loves the limelight and pampering of stardom. Her mother is also overbearing and pushes her to be in the limelight. They are not mutually exclusive, but undoubtedly, Gina’s motivations are still her own in a large capacity. Of all of Miss Jenn’s students, Gina is the one who acclimates to the changes with the film and navigates this new world with ease while also managing her growing fame and school with relative ease. We see Kourtney struggle with college apps and the filming, even almost dropping out of HSM 3; Carlos quits being Miss Jenn’s assistant; Ricky is trying hard to accommodate change, but it makes him uncomfortable.

(And Ashlyn is just a hot mess overall because of Maddox 😂).

Gina is on top of everything, though, and is in her element and doing amazing to boot, but the caveat to that is she’s found balance and has a loving and supportive community courtesy of her golden retriever boyfriend and the theatre crew family with which she’s strengthened bonds.

But Terri was not there for that journey in s2 and s3, a roughly 7 to 8 month interval of time during which Gina pushed aside her drive and was at her lowest in confidence only to figure it all out and bounce back stronger than ever. And she was not there for the fall and stronger rise again of Gina’s relationship with Ricky. So from Terri’s perspective, the last time she lived with her daughter, Gina was 1.0 and had no desires for anything but her ambitions to be the best.

I give Terri some grace, because though it really is up to her to try to learn and understand her daughter and who she is and who she is becoming—something Terri failed to do more than once—to be fair, Gina kept all these things from her. And I give Gina a lot of grace for not being able to express her truth in all this time because it can be very hard to stand up to overbearing moms who are inflexibly focused on one plan. But for someone who isn’t very observant about what is happening in the now, there was no way Terri would have ever known about all these changes and balance Gina found. And the biggest problem is that this season, Terri refused to open her eyes to see the growth Gina has exhibited to become 2.0 and therefore failed to understand her daughter.

Therefore, I can only imagine Terri’s sheer confusion and discomfort when Gina finally revealed the truth about the journey she’s been on and what has been the most influential in making her this happy every day. There’s no way it didn’t feel like it was coming out of left field for Terri—and she doesn’t get it at first—and for an overbearing, relatively inflexible mother, this type of confession would definitely inspire pushback.

Which we end up seeing.

The way I see it, Terri emphasises no boys in her lecture because she doesn’t want Gina’s success derailed by a relationship. She’s an adult who’s had two kids; I’m sure Terri knows what being in love is like, how unhinged it can make you, and the types of choices you make and types of distractions you have when you’re in love. And in one evening, her daughter, who had likely been telling her everything in the past and has always been under her thumb, tells her she’s been lying to her for months, is in a secret relationship with another boy, has been sneaking him into her room at night, and then rushes out of the house in the middle of dinner with a guest to make out with said boy in the rain.

But above that, the biggest thing is this secret boyfriend is the one person responsible for making Gina the happiest Terri has ever seen, something monumental, and Terri has never even conversed with him, let alone had a substantial, proper first introduction.

She knows nothing about him besides what Gina has likely told her—which is not a tangible thing Terri can confirm—but in her view he probably doesn’t seem driven, doesn’t seem particularly ambitious the way Gina is, hasn’t particularly made a mark on the world, and if we are to go by the implication of her “Gina has been waiting for you to step up for a long time” line, then she also has knowledge of how much pain Ricky inadvertently caused Gina in s2.

We all have seen Gina’s journey throughout the show and know this is the true Gina, but Terri was not there for those events. So from Terri’s perspective, everything she’s learned in one dinner has to have made her think these are all bad choices and decisions she incorrectly believes to be out of character for Gina. All she sees is a Gina who is hesitating and slow to sign a contract for a leading role in a big-budget movie in a way the daughter she remembers never would have. And I have no doubt that she believes that if Gina can make bad decisions like this about a boy without much thought, then she could just as easily make rash decisions that could negatively affect her future.

Like, for example: giving up a once-in-a-lifetime leading role as a brand new actress for a boy who can easily sway her to lie to her mother and sneak around behind her back.

I can only imagine the disapproving panic that started setting in because—beyond the potential implications of sneaking a boyfriend into your room at night—the optics do look pretty bad.

And that’s why I think she told Ricky about New Zealand. I really don’t think she has anything against him personally as she said. Her issues stem from his presence in her life and what that means for Gina’s future compared to Mack, which I’ll get back to a little later.

Again: Terri has tunnel vision and believes Gina has to pick either the movie or SLC. The only right choice in her mind is the movie, and she doesn’t want Ricky to be in the way of that decision because in her eyes, he will impede Gina’s success. But I still didn’t sense strong malicious intent so much as I sensed an inflexible mother trying her hardest to grasp onto the last vestiges of control over her daughter’s life however means necessary. Gina gave her heart to Ricky, and her clear love for him is enough to make Gina hesitate about the direction her career is taking her. Terri overheard Ricky preparing to tell Gina he loves her, and in my opinion was close to “panicking” over the fact that Ricky confessing could very well have been the final nail in the coffin in Gina giving up the acting gig to stay in SLC instead. This is the same mom who encouraged Gina to stay in SLC in s2 and not make any big decisions because she doesn’t know what the universe has in store for her. In Terri’s view, Gina was never attached to SLC, and now she’s having trouble leaving it because of Ricky, so the Ricky panic and pushing Gina to sign the contract faster kind of checks out.

I do believe mentioning Mack was a bit of a malicious dig though, but in the sense that she was trying to tell Ricky that he’s not on the same level as Mack and Gina in drive, ambition, and success. But I interpret her overall behaviour in that scene as a last ditch Hail Mary to try to make Ricky recognise what’s at stake for Gina and how influential his decisions could be in impacting how Gina makes her choice. Ricky, to her, is an obstacle and the biggest barrier at the moment to Gina jumping right into doing the movie so instead of approaching Gina, she opts to target Ricky to reconsider his attachment to Gina.

I truly believed her when she said she doesn’t have anything against Ricky, because it really isn’t about Ricky. It’s always about Gina—and who Terri thinks would best match Gina—and she just doesn’t get Ricky’s impact in Gina’s life because she probably never asked.

Terri, though overbearing, clearly does want what’s best for Gina’s success, but she doesn’t know what is best for Gina because she hasn’t been there enough to recognise Gina’s needs in the first place. And she tends to bulldoze over Gina, sometimes not even listening to what she has to say.

That’s why the confrontation with Ricky in Gina’s room is so, so important, because it’s the first pivotal moment where Terri is confronted for the first time on how important the theatre community is to Gina, no matter how small and non-famous. The moment she first realises why this idiot boy has such a strong impact on her daughter in the first place. The first moment she starts to see how Gina started to and had a safe, comfortable space to change. And the first moment she is met with the very real threat that Gina is no longer as tethered to Terri’s idea of success and stardom because Gina has people in her corner who she has placed at a higher ranking in importance than her mark-making goals.

Even when Ricky was being denigrated for not stepping up, his mind was still razor focused on Gina and being her biggest supporter and cheerleader. His response is very much a “you can say whatever you want about me, but I won’t tolerate you hurting Gina again” kind of thing. And however small, he did get through to Terri in some capacity. In some ways, I think he also gained a little bit of her respect with his Caucasity audacity.

This is the face she makes when he calls her out on her hypocrisy:

That’s a face of guilt with bits of shame. Maybe a bit of understanding that she deserves that one.

And these are the faces she makes when he asks her to turn around while he tries to get out:

Terri Porter is not a warm woman. She is driven, she is ambitious, and she pushes her daughter so hard because, to some extent, she likely views Gina’s success as her own too. And she wants nothing to get in that way, come hell or high water.

And yet, nothing about those expressions indicate a dislike of Ricky. If anything, I’d say she kind of looks fond, amused, or even impressed during a lot of that interaction. And there is no way Terri did not recognise at least a bit of the aspects of Ricky we viewers have watched him develop. His admirable complete devotion and protection of Gina. His drive to grow and improve so he can be a better partner to Gina. His desire to fully support her ambitions so she can become the star he knows she was always meant to be.

There’s no way that at that moment, Terri didn’t see an inkling of exactly why Gina has been so happy. There’s no way she didn’t recognise that Ricky is not just some random dude her daughter is dating for fun. This is not a similar relationship like the one she had with EJ over the summer. Ricky is the real deal. And he has potential to really damage the choices Gina can make about her life. She’s wrong, of course. Ricky is no longer the type to try to make everything else go away so he can have control and stability over his own life and relationship. But I think from that brief moment in Gina’s room, she at the very least now has the tangible evidence to back up what makes Ricky so important to Gina. And that informs her subsequent “panic” and the New Zealand reveal.

But again, she doesn’t know him. Just sees that her daughter is in love with a boy who doesn’t fit her own idea of strong future ambitions for success and thinks him unworthy and a possible deterrent to Gina becoming a star.

The thing is though, as I mentioned earlier, it’s not Ricky personally who she has a problem with: it’s what Ricky represents versus what Mack does.

Ricky is the theatre community—dinky, small school club, nondescript, can’t acquire fame through it—while Mack is the world of Hollywood—big-budget movie and fame, potential for successful stardom, glitz and glam and glory.

Until the end, she doesn’t care for the theatre community, because like most of her approach regarding success, a small school club is unlikely to match Gina’s drive and allow her to reach her fullest potential in a more public sphere.

(I’m gonna get over-analysy and philosophical for just a second).

The show, whether intentional or not, makes it a point to reflect this idea of the theatre community versus Mack/Hollywood as it pertains to Gina’s home and life. All moments with the theatre group and anyone having to do with it were relegated to scenes in Gina’s attic bedroom only. The cast reveal is in the attic, and they only got in because Emmy stole the garage code and they snuck in while no one was home. The Halloween party is not in the house proper, but confined to Gina’s attic, and Terri’s interaction with them is to remind them to keep it down. Ricky sneaks into the windows at night to see Gina and all his visits are also confined to the attic.

Compared to that, we have Mack, the representation of fame and stardom, gets full-blown concierge service of a dinner and is treated like royalty in the main part of the house. His presence is not only invited, it’s also encouraged and unhidden.

(Quick aside: after Ricky takes off during the Halloween party, we see Gina melancholic and at war with herself on the stairs, a middle ground/point between the main house and the attic. One foot in each world and a reflection of the start of the conflict she has to resolve in the second half of the season).

Following this metaphor, it reflects the view Terri has of Gina’s communities. How she disregards the theatre group and kind of ignores them, pushes them to the side in her mind. How much importance she places on Gina’s Hollywood gig, even going as far as not attending any stage performances but showing up to the movie set. I don’t think she even would have tried to watch most of the HSM 3 production had Ricky not called her out.

Terri prioritises success in a larger scheme of the world, choosing to ignore how much Gina’s community means to her and how much Gina means to the community too until the press conference. Until the moment when Gina talks about SLC being her support network and home. When Gina spontaneously changes the film location to stay in SLC so she can have both her found family and her future fame. When Ricky shows up and with no hesitation boldly declares his love for Gina. When her friends and castmates and found family (the bridesmaids and groomsmen 😜) come to the front to share in this moment and protect their moment and their moment alone from the prying eyes of the press.

It's not hard to see Gina’s sheer joy and bliss at all her dream's realised with Ricky and her community through her smile and tears, and the room is quite literally brightened up.

And Terri gets it: what Ricky was sassing her about, that Ricky wants nothing more than Gina’s happiness, and that Gina’s happiness is not just success in her ambitions but more so the people who have been there for her when Terri wasn’t there. She finally reconciles the words Gina likely told her at dinner and what Ricky alluded to with Terri’s absence from the opening nights with what she sees as tangible evidence right in front of her eyes.

So this is why this:

Is such an underrated moment for me, not just because her personal invitation is a seal of approval for their relationship and her acknowledgement that Ricky is worthy of her daughter. It’s also because Ricky is the reason why Gina found and joined this theatre community in the first place, and in many ways, represents exactly what this community means to Gina: finally being seen, known, understand, and accepted for who she is.

Terri telling Ricky he’s welcome in her home without having to sneak anymore represents to me that understanding and approval of this community to Gina, and in turn, a desire for Gina to continue to have this group present in her life. It’s Terri finally making an effort to listen to what Gina needs and wants and making the effort to accept Gina’s decisions and what makes Gina happiest with open arms.

Gina showed her that beautiful balance Gina 2.0 achieved without her mother’s influence by figuring out a way to have her cake with the movie and eating it too in SLC with her family. Something Terri would never have thought of as an option, given her tunnel vision. And this was definitely a strong factor in Terri recognising the influence and importance and benefit of Gina’s theatre community. And now that she is taking active steps to get to know Ricky and the community, I can only imagine her relationship with Gina, her relationship with Ricky, and her understanding of Gina’s relationship with Ricky will improve.

Within 12 hours, only two short prior conversations, one of which was Terri talking at Ricky, and Ricky publicly declaring his love for—and proposing to 🤭🤭🤭—her daughter, she’d changed her mind about him. Which is pretty insane to think about considering the type of mother Terri is: a bit controlling and not very flexible. And I attribute Terri’s change of heart mostly to Ricky, who put into action the words she’d heard from Gina and Ricky and showed her so easily that he has every quality she values and rewards:

Single minded focus and pursuit of a task when it counts.

Guts and gumption.

Ambition and drive to go after what he wants.

Never gives up.

Her machinations (twice!) did not deter him from expressing his utterly romantic, swoonworthy love song for Gina, and she definitely respects that. And it helped her see that Ricky’s drive is to make sure Gina is always happy and that Gina knows she’s loved and cared for.

Despite the fact that he is not a traditional “successful” by her definition, Terri still thinks and understands he’s worth the wait Gina went through since Thanksgiving s1 to finally be with the love of her life.

All this to say a woman like Terri Porter does not change her mind for any old reason—it has to be significant—and Ricky gaining her approval was such an excellent way to emphasise just how truly perfect Rina is for each other. How worthy Ricky is of Gina, not based on some arbitrary definition of success, but because of how significant he is in Gina’s journey of growth and happiness. I could go on and on about Rina being perfect soulmates, haha, but I digress. I foresee a great friendship between Ricky and Terri in the future because above all else, the both of them are driven by a staunch desire to see Gina successful and happy.

I originally was going to name this post “Ricky’s Effect on the Porter Women” because he truly does play a significant role in changing both of their perspectives. He was the first to allow Gina to find a home, a place where she can finally be known, something which kicked off her growth which ultimately gave her the strength and courage to make her choice at the end of the season. And he was the first to transform Terri’s mentality on success and the ultimate reason she finally saw the real Gina and the importance of this whole community that has impacted her life the most.

Ricky is an instrumental catalyst in both of their lives. He’s the reason why Gina stood up to her mother and stood her ground on her own desires and what is important to her. He’s the reason why Terri Porter will likely continue to learn who her daughter is from now on, step back, and trust Gina to make her own choices knowing she is safe with the friends she loves. He’s the reason Gina and Terri will be able to have a more equal, open and honest relationship where Gina’s desires are understood, listened to, and met because he won’t ever let anyone hurt Gina again. He’s the reason that Terri is starting to understand and reconcile who her daughter has been and who her daughter is now.

Terri is a complex character, but I feel it is doing her a disservice dismissing her choices as her being a terrible person. Her priorities are far more intense than current Gina necessarily needs, and she is a flawed human being who has definitely made mistakes in motherhood, but she’s also been an amazing mom in other ways:

She understood how much pain Gina would be in when they had to move on Thanksgiving and tried pre-emptively to keep it from happening. She gives her a bear every Valentine’s day. She let her 16 year old daughter stay in SLC by herself upon request because it was the first time in 5 schools in 7 years that Gina wanted to stay somewhere. She encouraged Gina to stay in SLC in s2 and keep making new experiences when Gina was about to give up. She moved her whole life back to SLC and decided to stick there for her daughter so Gina could have a stable home this school year. Even if too strong a push at times, she is an unwavering supporter of Gina’s talent and rise to fame and does not hide from her daughter how incredibly talented she views her. And though an incorrect assumption on Gina’s happiness, she immediately waived her no boys rule in case Gina wanted to pursue Mack. And once she accepted Ricky, she did the same again, allowing their relationship and telling him he’s welcome in their home and welcome in her and Gina’s life.

She’s a bit of a messy mom, kind of clueless, misguided in the direction she was taking parenting Gina, and has a lot to learn about a more hands-off and trusting parenting style, but she is very much there for her daughter.

And when Ricky and Gina get married in ten years, I can guarantee you Terri Porter will be right in the front, proud as hell that her daughter is marrying the perfect person for her, who cares for her beyond himself and makes her the happiest she’s ever been.

[justalonelyslytherin]

Legacies | four

Previous Chapter | Masterlist | Next Chapter

Pairing: Jake ‘Hangman’ Seresin x Kazansky!OC

Summary: After every Up comes a Down. Or in this case, another reason for Ana to be annoyed at Hangman.

Warnings: military inaccuracies

Wordcount: 1.6k

If you enjoyed reading this, please consider leaving a comment or reblogging. I don’t allow for my content to be copied, translated, or reposted on other websites/apps. Please don’t steal my work.

A/N: A rather short chapter this time - I know, the next chapter will be extra long in turn - but a just as important scene in the evolving relationship between Ana and Hangman. They don't have it easy and it certainly is an up and down with those two. One step forward and immediately two steps back.

Taglist: open, message me or comment to be added, will be put as reblog

The hallway was empty and quiet as Ana walked through it. It felt unusual for the middle of the day but in truth, they were all simply busy getting ready for the mission. Every day had been dogfights against Maverick. Various constellations of teams had been sent up against him. Singles and duos mixed up, sometimes two single-seaters. They had yet to manage to get a shot on Maverick.

Maverick and Rooster’s now infamous fight followed by that risky Cobra maneuver still occupied her mind from time to time. The air between her godfather and Rooster was icy. Rooster kept stubborn as ever, perched on his spot and refusing to move even an inch. It worried her. But it frustrated her even more as she was helpless. Damned to watch from the sidelines. Rooster now kept her at a distance too.

She wanted to believe in what she had told Hondo, but it was hard. Her father however was still sure they would come around. He knew both of them even better.

Don’t worry. Focus on your performance and the mission, read his latest text message to her. His texting had become more frequent. She found herself more often surprised with simple messages from him, just small notes of his day, stories of her family, or reminders that he loved her and always would. He wasn’t trying to distract her but rather ease her mind which she found incredibly sweet. She’d always been especially close to her father. A father's girl out of the book.

She loved all her family dearly, they were a tight nit bunch but her father had always been…special. From the moment she could think he’d been her hero. The one she’d looked up to. The one whose approval she craved when she was an otherwise independent child. The one she would run to when she was hurt, be it a scraped knee or a broken wrist, or a broken heart.

Taking a left at the corner, she crossed the hallway. The door to the ready room stood open as she entered. She’d thought the room to be just as empty as the hallways but came to be surprised.

Stopping short after just two steps into the room, Ana looked over at the two aviators who had turned around and risen. As if they had been caught. Suspicion arose in her upon their innocent but strange behaviors. 

Coyote looked at her like she was a nuisance, like a fly that wouldn’t stop buzzing by one's ear. His defensive pose, arms crossed in front of his chest and feet placed hip-wide apart made her cock a brow and think she definitely caught them in something. 

“What are you doing?” She asked both of them. Hangman looked much less defensive. He exuded his usually calm and relaxed stance, simply eyeing her with that wolfish smile of his. 

Coyote entirely lacked that nonchalant air. 

“We could ask you the same.” He raised one brow and jutted his hip out. She wanted to roll her eyes at the sass he was throwing her way. Her nerves were entirely stretched too thin for that, instead, she pointed over to the two couches. 

There was a small table in the middle of them. On top of it lay the miniature F/A-18 model Hangman loved to twirl and a couple of magazines and on top of them lay a pair of sunglasses. Her sunglasses. Which she had left there, forgotten from the last round of dogfights she’d listened to.

She could see Coyote go slack, his mouth opened in a small o-shape. He looked almost embarrassed but quickly covered it with a simple nod toward her.

Before she could make a step forward to get the glasses and leave as quickly as she could, Hangman spoke up.

“Come over for a second, Sweetheart.” He waved her over with one hand and was already on his way to turn toward the showcase. Ana however didn’t budge. Instead, she crossed her arms in front of her chest. Rolling his eyes, Hangman grinned at her with that cocky, self-assured grin. 

“I’m not going to bite you,” he joked. She could see the mischief glint in his eyes as he added, “Not unless you want me to.” 

It made her huff, stubbornly keeping on her spot. Only when he once more called out with a soft ‘Come on’ did she reluctantly shuffle over to him. She didn’t know why but that last soft call pulled her towards him. 

Walking around the football table she came up before the two. Coyote still eyed her, his features now relaxing. She thought to imagine his lips to have twitched upwards before he moved to the side. 

Stepping up next to Hangman she looked at the blonde aviator, silently waiting to see what he wanted from her. Hangman put his hand on her shoulder, slowly turning her towards the cabinet before he slid his arm over, draping it entirely over her back. Confusion filled her, as she was pressed against his side. Then his arm pushed her down, forcing her to lean forward. That’s when he pointed toward a picture. 

Ana recognized it instantly. It was all too familiar to her. She had seen it a thousand times in her father’s study, standing on his desk together with a picture of him and Slider the day of their Top Gun graduation and a picture of Maverick and him. 

Dread pooled in her stomach, a huge, heavy chunk that weighed her down as her heart started to race. Why did he want to show her that? Had he found her out? It couldn’t be, could it? Nervously she eyed him from the side. Hangman was still grinning, watching her intently.

“See that?” His breath hit the shell of her ear. A shudder shot through her body, one she barely managed to hide from him. She was fighting to keep her cool, to hide the way her breath wanted to hitch, and even more how nervous she had gotten.

“See what?” She pretended to be naive, “Is that Maverick?”

Hangman scoffed, “Yeah but whatever. Look beside him. That’s Rooster’s old man isn’t it.” Ana’s eyes jumped from the image of her young godfather to the man left and slightly behind him. Her eyes stuck to the image of a younger version of her father for a moment until they centered on Goose. 

Every time she looked at a picture of the young man gone too soon her heart ached. The story of his passing was tragic and while she had never met the man, she felt for him still. Especially since she knew how it had affected Bradley. And Maverick. She’d been born years after the tragic event. Carole and Bradley had been frequent guests in the Kazansky home. It had only been natural she had learned of him too. They had never shied from mentioning Goose and telling the many stories of him. 

“Why are you asking me that?” Swallowing the lump that had formed in her throat the longer she had looked at the picture, she turned back towards Hangman. There was a brief moment his eyes jumped back and forth between hers, where his expression had gone slightly slack revealing some kind of softness. It was gone faster than she could blink. Hangman’s grin returned even brighter. It appeared to turn vile and menacing, sending another shiver down her spine.

“Because you seem to know Maverick rather well. Better than the rest of us.” For a moment Hangman glanced back at the picture, his knuckles tapped the glass of the cabinet. “Just the same as Rooster.” He straightened up again and she followed him in his movement.

“Now I don’t know how or why but I bet you knew that Maverick was in the same year as his old man.” Once more Hangman examined her intensely. Ana’s silence was answer enough for him.

She didn’t understand what he wanted with that information. Especially since it wasn’t any secret knowledge. The picture in the ready room alone spoke for itself. Why bring her into this? 

Ana took a step back, pushing his arm off her. “And why do you want to know that?” 

She observed him closely. The way he grinned, the way he eyed her. As if he had won the jackpot. Then it clicked. Realization hit her like a brick in the face.

“Seresin don’t!” she growled threateningly. And Hangman? He continued to grin.

“I don’t know what you are implying here.” The way he said it so innocently while shrugging his shoulders sparked a flame in her. One that gave her the impulse to punch him in the face right then and there. He was trying to find dirt on Rooster and Maverick.

“I can’t believe you.” There was disappointment mixing with the anger she felt. She didn’t think he’d stoop down so low just to win. There was one thing to have a healthy – albeit petty – rivalry and to make a competition out of who was getting the spot of team leader. But to snoop around in their backstories for a personal hit? 

Hangman didn’t need to throw in such a foul to gain the upper hand on Rooster. If he could come down from his horse and work together with others. No. Instead, he went even lower. She couldn’t believe it. Ana didn’t want to believe it, in truth, she wanted to be able to respect Hangman. He was an incredible pilot, talented, even if he was cocky. Her father had been cocky as a young pilot too. Maverick even worse from the stories she had heard. They were great pilots and great men too. 

Turning around she shook her head and marched towards the small table. Clutching her aviators tightly in her hands she stormed out of the room.

[mancer-in-the-abbey]

Been putting a bunch of smaller headcanons in a larger post that maybe one day will see the light of day. In the meantime uhh Ghouls as D&D classes GO

Dewdrop: That’s a rogue right there. Although there is a real argument to be made for fighter, I’m going with rogue. He’s got that kind of sass, you know? He’s also INCREDIBLY good at the things he’s proficient in (expertise anyone?) and has a massive chip on his shoulder. I’ve yet to meet a rogue that doesn’t have a chip on their shoulder.

Rain: Hard choice, but ima go with warlock. You think I’m joking, “ooh band about Satan has a warlock, who would have guessed,” but I think it would fit HELLA well with his whole deal. Despite stumbling in the beginning, dude has very good stage presence, although in a bit understated in comparison to the other highly charismatic ghouls, just like how Charisma being a Warlock’s main ability takes on a different form in comparison to other charisma casters. Also… Pact of the Fathomless? Tentacles? Writes itself, really.

Phantom/Aeon: It took some figuring out but I think Sorcerer fits best. Think about it, despite being shaky in his stage dynamic with the rest of the ghouls when he first started, he had such big stage presence right out of the gate with all his cool guitar tricks! That to me reads as someone who has such innate charisma that he’s able to keep up even when out of his depth. That to me reads like someone whose magic has always been a part of them and whose abilities stem from their willingness to fake it till you make it. He for SURE is a Sorcerer.

Aether: Oh come on. Anyone who knows about d&d knows Aether would be a cleric. That’s not even fair at that point. Twilight Cleric too, purely for the vibes of it. The whole point of rhythm guitar is to be the backbone on which the lead guitar’s melody can shine and the bass’s riff can keep pace! Support is what the cleric is all about! Also healing. Just. Cleric. Next question.

Cirrus: Fighter! Fighter! Fighter! Fuck yeah she’s a fighter, and she is having SO much fun! She is a woman that can kick your ass, make it look easy, and make you thank her for it. Her and Lus’s keys are such a key part of what keeps things running smoothly and you ALWAYS need at least one martial class person in your party if you want to make it. You just know she’s the one people go to to open the stuck lids when Aether isn’t around. You love to see it.

Cumulus: Tough call, but something in me says Paladin? She is SUCH a strong presence in the backing vocals, something non-charisma feels like a disservice. Not a bard though, she doesn’t actually show off that much on stage. And yeah, outside of the actual stage performances, she strikes me as the kind of person to have a strong moral code that she adheres to. She could definitely get herself a Paladin Oath through sheer force of will if she wanted.

Aurora: Okay this one was INCREDIBLY hard cause I don’t actually know that much about her. With that in mind, based purely on vibes? I honestly am feeling Wizard. She seems to exude a lot of excitement and eagerness which, to me, translates really well into curiosity. She is so incredibly interested in everything the surface world has to offer and that includes how magic functions differently from how it does in the Pit. It might take her some tries, but once she gets the basics she would be a MENACE of a spell caster. Maybe Bladesinger so she can learn cool spells and swing a sword at people simultaneously?

Sunshine: This might be a bit of a weird call but to me, Sunshine is a monk. Like, in shows she’ll sometimes be super high energy and sometimes go full unflappable, intimidating ghoul. It’s like step of the wind vs patient defense to me. Also, I think just very generally she has some great speed if you let her. That woman has a “can’t stop won’t stop” attitude, and isn’t that just the monk in a nutshell?

Swiss: Bard. I don’t even think I need to explain it but I’m gonna anyways. I mean, the multiple instrument proficiencies, being one of the main back-up singers, fuck man, that dude RULES his tiny stage of shame with an iron fist and every time he’s let off of it all hell breaks loose. Also, the Jack of All Trades feature is very in-line with how we as a fandom interpret his abilities as a multi-ghoul. He is literally good at everything! Bards are just like that! HE is just like that!

Mountain: Could you imagine if I just picked something like Barbarian? Could you imagine if I said Mountain “Forest Cryptid” Ghoul was a Ranger? Druid. Full stop.

[writerblue275]

The Heartsteel Members as Pies (with minimal explanation)

Inspiration: IT’S PI DAY, 3/14!!!! When I was younger, my math teachers would always do something fun for Pi day and bring something in, like a cookie cake. But I feel like the true sweet treat to celebrate this annual holiday is PIE (fucking duh). I love pie omg. So what kinds of pies do the Heartsteel members remind me of? Let’s talk about it. Is this headcanon a bit silly? Absolutely. Do I care? Not at all.

Genre: Mini Headcanon

Type: Silly, goofy, a little stupid, fluff.

Gender: N/A. Reader isn’t involved.

TW: None.

Aphelios

Cherry Pie

Like cherry pie, Aphelios is more complex than he might seem upon first glance. Just as cherry pie is a balance of tart cherries (not sweet like some might think), sugar, lemon juice, etc, Phel is a balance of sass, mischievousness, talent, love for his friends and family, and more.

Ezreal

Key Lime Pie

Key lime pie is bright, fun, happy, sweet (but not too sweet), and exudes an inner inviting tropical warmth (even though served chilled). Ezreal matches this sort of vibe perfectly and I can’t think of a better choice for him. Friendly, sweet, and a joy to be around, I look at Ez and just smile.

Kayn

Strawberry Rhubarb Pie

Strawberry rhubarb pie manages to showcase two stars without one completely overshadowing the other. A masterclass in balance, it wouldn’t be the same if you took one of those components away. Just as Kayn and Rhaast are both equally integral. You can’t really have one without the other. 🤷🏼‍♀️

K’Sante

Pumpkin Pie

One of my absolute favs. Rich, smooth, flavorful, warm and inviting, and a staple at any fall/winter holiday party. If pumpkin pie was sentient, she’d know she’s that girl. Just as K’Sante knows he is him. He’s smooth with his confidence, full of the spice of many different talents, and his personality just seems so inviting and warm.

Sett

Blueberry pie

Another absolute fav. Blueberry pie is such a staple for my family, especially since my dad is from Maine where a lot of blueberries grow. I associate blueberry pie with the warmth and cheer of summer family moments. Sett also reminds me of summer. He’s warm, kind, fun-loving, and his family is so important to him.

Yone

Apple Pie

So blueberry pie and pumpkin pie might be my two favorites, but I will gladly say that nothing completes a solid dessert selection like a good apple pie. A true classic that is lowkey the glue holding everything else together, just like our favorite all-star producer/band mom, Yone.

Thanks for reading! As I said, this was silly and a little stupid, but it brought me joy to do, so whatever! 😂 Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go run to the store and grab one of the little teeny personal pies. I made myself hungry.

[xstarlightxstarbrightx]

Zhongli headcanons

HI HELLO I'M BACK-- i finished my h/c list ages ago but then brainrot took over and i was caught between mini fic writing and schoolwork lmfao. anyway, zhongli's my precious lil mans and i must SCREAM abt him for a moment thank u.

current list: - FLUENT in the art of yapping. could weave a story abt a blade of grass, and y'all know bitches are listening. - i feel like most ppl are kinda intimidated by him. like regular average ppl look at him and are shaken by this sort of regal air he's got around him. - straightforward! he doesn't beat around the bush when he's got a point or needs something. this kinda thing also makes ppl more intimidated of him bc he's just very confident abt it. - WARM HANDS,,, - he gives me the vibes of a fidgeter. like he spins his rings on his thumbs, and will fiddle with the sleeves of his coat. like it's just a habit he picked up, and now he can't help but do it when his mind is wandering. - ON THE TOPIC OF FIDGETING: Guizhong's puzzle box. Zhongli's usually pretty good abt figuring things out when he's confronted w/ something confounding/confusing, but when he can't figure it out or it's a very hard thing to work through, i am CONVINCED that he fiddles with Guizhong's puzzle box. like it's sort of like him trying to solve her final question helps him solve the current Difficult Question he's faced with. absolutely probably fiddled w/ it when he was deciding what to do abt retirement. - this man LOVES antiques and art/music (he likes a lot of things tbh) and he will do anything to talk abt them. like he's probably one of the best antique appraisers, and has stories abt specific antiques he's seen before. as for opera and music and art, he just really appreciates their creativity! also sorry he would absolutely indulge in the art of calligraphy. - he hoards rocks. listen, he hoards them. he loves rocks, and when he finds a Perfect Rock, he just yoinks it (Perfect Rocks are hard to come by yk!!!). - he's usually very sweet and nice, and has a good attitude, but i'm PRETTY sure he's got a bit of pride to him yk. - listen,,, he was in a really long war and lost a lot of ppl he cared abt in the Archon War, and i'm like pretty sure he's got battle anxiety now bc of it. like he would MUCH prefer talking things out, but if push comes to shove he will still fight; he just tends to push himself to the front so that less people get hurt. he just REALLY wants to protect people, which makes him a little self-sacrificial (he's usually fine). he's also fucking PROTECTIVE as FUCK. - Zhongli has gold blood. not red blood, gold; i think this makes him more nervous around red blood bc it means to him that someone is hurt and he wasn't able to protect them. it's equated with Really Bad Things. - back to sad things, i'm 90% sure he's afraid of forgetting things due to erosion. he's always had a good memory, so the idea that he might one day have his memories eroded is one of his greatest fears. - i feel like all of his worries and concerns have turned him from a stern War God to a very gentle mans that will make u soup when ur sick. - Zhongli and Venti are the best of friends and he would deck that guy so hard if someone asked him to. Literally besties for the resties, they hate each other but someone fucks with one of em, the other's got his back. - Zhongli talks pretty, so ya know he's got That Sass that hits different. Like it's out of left field, and it probably doesn't register as a slight at first. sometimes it takes u a good hour before u realize he wasn't complimenting u and instead was calling u an idiot. - the definition of "curiosity killed the cat, satisfaction brought it back". literally exudes pure curiosity when he sees something he hasn't seen before. - he adores little gifts,,, like these small gestures would Never Be Noticed by anyone, except him, and he just thinks it's so fuckin sweet. - secretly a prankster. you Would Not Expect It from him, but that's what makes it so perfect. he's the PATIENT type of prankster, too; the one who moves the flower vase a cenimeter to the left every day over the course of a month type of patient.

HERE'S THE LIST, LOVE THIS MAN SO FUCKIN MUCH YALL plEASE,,, he's my pretty mans and i just foam at the mouth over him i s w e a r.

Up next is Neuvi, bc i love him, and then i'll be delving into the Very Specific Niche Ship i obsess over which is them as a poly.

[starlightbooklove]

LORE OLYMPUS UPDATEEEEDDDDDDDDD YK WHAT THAT MEEANNSS IIIIIIIIIIIII

Let's begin

Our little boy is back 😭🤌 and he is sooo cute. I love the first panel because I feel like she perfectly shows Demeter throughout this entire Webtoon, a woman that always tried to be Too hard on her daughter and on herself, trying to keep large parts of herself buried because she thought it was best, and then there's that second image where she looks vulnerable.

Showing that vulnerability is not bad, and letting what you are holding so much in come out is not bad either, if she had talked before about some of the trauma she was carrying from losing her son Much sooner she would have been able to receive help.

in the same way that if she had talked about Metis with her sisters, much sooner she would have realized that she was acting as a coping mechanism for her trauma through putting too much weight on Persephone's shoulders

I love Hera's expression 😂

The generational trauma talk 👏 is 👏talking👏 And it shows that it is not too late to change and realize that the steps we are following (Just because it feels safe) sometimes do not lead to an idyllic destination.

HADES WAS SO NERVOUS 😭😭LMAO THAT SON-IN-LAW ENERGY IS STARTING TO COME OUT AND I LOVE IT because the interactions between them ranged from hostile to ignoring each other, another proof that they are taking steps in the right direction

I never thought I would see the day when these two would hug each other lol

HE'S SUCH A CUTIE OMG 🥹🥹🥹🥹

AND LMAO WITH HERA AND HESTIA'S FACES

Iconic, the sass that Hera exudes is immaculate

Love our sassy Queen

Again, loving the episode and that ending 🙂🙃🙂🙃🙂🙃🙂🙃🙂🙃🙂🙃 ªªªª can't wait for the next one

[morthern]

hi hello just wanted to say i love how you draw ghost and konig, they feel like. properly beefy n big n i love that! also the way you pose makarov always exudes giant git energy i HATE HIMMM (/very affectionate)

Thank u thank u!

Gotta make sure they are nice and beef 🍖

And Makarov...

(Somethin' somethin'- can't even sit straight)

there is a little..mmmm something good about him. He can have a little sass as a treat :>

[doverstar]

The little details in this fic???? I’ve been thinking about them all day?

I have never read a fic from a writer with a better understanding of the Pond family dynamic. The SASS that exudes off of rory Williams is so perfect. Amy’s unflinching trust in the Doctor, how she will take any order from him, but still pursing her lips, so simultaneously irritated with him and filled with care and affection for both her boys and trust for the Doctor. The way that Matt Smith’s doctor had control over A ROOM. How that contrasts with Will. It’s all INSANELY GOOD. It’s like I’m watching an episode straight out of Series 6, you have such a good handle of dialogue and specifically these character’s way of speaking. Rory’s quips. The doctor spewing nonsense that’s ten steps ahead of everyone else in the room. Amy’s concern. You have complete mastery over all four of these characters. GOD I HAVENT EVEN TALKED ABOUT ROSE. I love how you display her so complexly, how she’s so quick yet she’s so scared to accept that her realities been flipped on it’s head, that the Doctor has changed again. And oh my gosh, the Doctor and Rose’s relationship. It’s so perfect. The semi-awkward but completely emotionally charged moment in the elevator. The bit about their hands fitting perfectly. How she finds it easier to accept him this time. It’s so soft and tender, and best of all, it all feels EARNED. Not just through all they’ve been through in this story and canon, but through the pacing of your story in specific. You don’t rush it. There’s not many fic authors, or writers in general, that can do that. It makes for such a satisfying story that I just can never get enough of.

Last one!! But oh Will!!! It makes me so sad that Rose said it doesn’t matter anymore, his silly knit hoodie and mismatched converse. I’m gonna miss him so much, I’m still grieving. I’m wayyy more excited that the Doctor is out of the watch, but still, my boy is gone!!! My scrunkly!!! Rip!!! I especially love how you contrast them, how the Doctors talking strong finally where Will was a mumbler, how you’ve talked about his pale eyes the whole story and now it’s his bright eyes. Also, how Eleven walks on an angle LMAO. Just, all of it.

I just needed to get these thoughts out of my head. Your attention to detail is magnificent and this chapter was well worth the wait. I can’t stop rereading. I’m just begging, BEGGING you to forget about Journey’s End so they can have a happily ever after.

Sending you love!!!

I need to start responding to long wonderful comments with a bit more of the enthusiasm I actually feel for them, so everybody wave hello to the Keep Reading line -

Thank you so much! I do love the Ponds and their specific chaos. Amy probably comes off pretty cold or tetchy in my fic, but I couldn't imagine her not being stressed and overprotective of the Doctor in that whole scenario. Also, I'm a big fan of Rose's pettiness when it comes to other women, because that's realistic, even if she often tries not to show it, and I'm an also a big fan of Amy's huge temper. And Rory is always a treasure. Always. I was so excited to write for them, thank you! I've been worried about the way I portrayed Rose and her thought process, but you've been so encouraging here! Thanks for that, too. I'll miss Will! I loved writing for a version of the Doctor that didn't have to deal with the simultaneous burdens of being a Time Lord, a genius, a hero, a murderer, immortal, etc. Will is just Eleven with less ambition and less worry. I was thinking, "What would the eleventh incarnation of the Doctor be like if you took away all the things that made him an immortal alien and just turned him loose?" And the result was a very sweet, awkward young man with bad dress sense who thinks he's 20-something. It's just my take, but I'm so fond of my take. Aw, Will. Miss you already, boyo. Thank you for noticing the details! That's so kind of you. I don't think I'm 100% happy with the latest chapter as it is (I was so tired), but I'm beyond glad you can still appreciate it! Loved getting this message.

[razzek]

1, 14 and 18 for the oc asks, for Matty :3

Had to get to a keyboard so I could answer this properly. Thank yooouuu!

For the uninitiated, Matty is Matthias the digital oracle (only Jaydee is allowed to call him Matty; even I have to type his full name out XD).

1. What was the first element of your OC that you remember considering (name, appearance, backstory, etc.)?

The very first thing I knew about Matthias was the kind of presence he evokes when channeling his gods and how it’s in contrast with his fragile body. He puts on a hell of a show, scares people, exudes confidence and power, and as seon as the outsiders are gone he usually throws up and starts crying/screaming (coming down from that kind of high sucks). But I also knew he had someone to catch him when he falls and who loves him because he’s human. :)

14. If you had to narrow it down to 2 things that you MUST keep in mind while working with your OC, what would those things be?

This little shit describes everything like he’s at a goddamn wine tasting for reality. O_o Even when he’s sick he has an instinct for posing himself in eye catching ways; he doesn’t flop, he falls gracefully and bonelessly into a provocative slump. XD

18. What is the most recent thing you’ve discovered about your OC?

That he’s in love with his manmade god on a level I hadn’t expected. For all that he’s a skeptic and a cynic and you might think that knowing his gods were literally made by human hands, and for all that he absolutely gives Black Book a lot of sass, he wouldn’t have shaped his life around being an oracle if he didn’t love on the deepest levels. He could have said “no” to being an oracle but instead he looked mortal terror in the eye and told it he’s the artist in this relationship so let him make fucking art here! Where most people would be very upset to find out that something their ancestors made had turned around and manipulated life to make them, he’s always seen that as pretty flattering. Matthias and Black Book have such a neat relationship the I badly want to explore more of.

[dyxtd21]

Rhodonite aesthetic moodboard!!

Rhodonite:

Appearance: Rhodonite exudes a striking presence with her bold coloration and confident demeanor. Her attire and overall look reflect her sassy personality and no-nonsense attitude as a ghost buster.

Body Coloration: Her entire body is a vibrant pink with black patterns that swirl and create intricate designs, giving her a unique and edgy appearance.

Hair: Her hair is a bold pink, styled in a short, asymmetrical cut that frames her face perfectly. The tips of her hair are dipped in black, adding to her distinctive look.

Eyes: Her eyes are a sharp, piercing pink, always filled with a sense of determination and sass.

Gemstone: Her oval-cut gemstone is prominently located on her left cheek, adding an extra layer of uniqueness to her appearance.

Attire: Rhodonite's attire is practical for her ghost-busting activities but also stylish, reflecting her bold and sassy nature.

Jumpsuit: She wears a pink jumpsuit with black accents, designed for mobility and durability. The jumpsuit is fitted but not restrictive, allowing her to move quickly and efficiently.

Utility Belt: A black utility belt with various ghost-busting gadgets and tools is strapped around her waist, ready for action at a moment's notice.

Boots: Her sturdy pink combat boots are perfect for running and kicking down doors, adding to her tough image.

Gloves: She wears dark pink fingerless gloves, providing both protection and a bit of flair.

Accessories: A pair of black, mirrored sunglasses often sits atop her head or on her face, giving her a cool and confident look.

Personality: Rhodonite's personality is as bold as her appearance. She's known for her sassy attitude and "Not my problem" approach to most situations, which makes her both admired and feared.

Sassy: She's quick-witted and always ready with a sharp retort. Her sassiness is part of her charm, and she never hesitates to speak her mind.

Confident: Rhodonite exudes confidence, tackling even the toughest ghost-busting jobs with ease. Her self-assurance is inspiring to those around her.

No-Nonsense: She has a straightforward, no-nonsense attitude. She doesn't tolerate nonsense or drama and is always focused on getting the job done.

Independent: Rhodonite prefers to work alone, relying on her own skills and instincts. She doesn't like to be tied down or dependent on others.

Sarcastic: Her sense of humor is dry and often laced with sarcasm. She enjoys poking fun at situations and people, often lightening the mood with her witty remarks.

Quirks:

"Not My Problem" Attitude: Rhodonite often dismisses issues that don't directly concern her with a casual "Not my problem" remark, which has become her catchphrase.

Ghost-Busting Gadgets: She has a collection of unique and custom-made ghost-busting gadgets, each with its own special function. She's always tinkering with her gear to improve it.

Fearless: She shows no fear in the face of danger, whether it's confronting a ghost or dealing with a difficult situation. Her bravery is unmatched.

Quick to Action: Rhodonite is always ready to spring into action. She's known for her swift reflexes and quick decision-making skills.

Soft Spot: Despite her tough exterior, she has a soft spot for children and animals, often going out of her way to help them, though she'd never admit it.

[thedreamparadox]

What are your pros and cons of NiD and JoD?

NiD Pros:

Available on Steam and easy to play as a result (especially given that I've seen the game without a manual sell for $100! yikes!)

A-Life system adapts the music to (functionally) how much you accidentally paraloop Nightopians (the game functionally has three tracks for every stage except for Twin Seeds)

Nostalgia

Easy to learn, hard to master gameplay with the link system

Manages to tell a decently coherent story without any words entirely using cutscenes

There are actually hidden things you can find in the free roam sections and it is totally possible (though not easy) to bonk the Alarm Egg to roam more

Saturn version's debug mode turns off the Alarm Egg so you can wander around freely and just vibe (does not work on Steam, requires a Game Shark)

Completely banger soundtrack the entire game through

Pretty much the entire reason that controllers have thumbsticks now

Steam port also has Christmas NiGHTS

Trick ribbons!!!!! Make use of those shoulder buttons (warning: on a lower end pc this will lag your game to hell and back)

NiD Cons:

Completely unintuitive gameplay mechanic required to get the true ending (bonus time REQUIRED and if you don't make use of it your score suffers so much)

The English translation of the story changes and drops details and no one's ever fully translated the jpn manual (some day I will attempt to make progress on my very, very rudimentary attempts at this)

Minimalistic story can be really confusing (more of an issue for younger players who are less used to media that uses little to no spoken dialog aka me at age 7 with no idea what the hell was going on the entire time)

No explanation of gameplay you are dropped into a dreamscape and get mobbed immediately and it is just sheer confusion the whole time if you are going in blind

Steam port's seasonal features don't always work and a bunch of the features from the Christmas sampler (including Sonic Into Dreams) are missing entirely

You really do need the manual to understand a good chunk of what is going on beyond the plot that exists in the cut scenes

JoD Pros:

More accessible to new players, younger players, and people who have no idea how the original worked, or even that it existed. Infinitely more accessible to young gamers than the original

Great soundtrack (the Dream Gate theme is hands down my favorite track in the game)

Voice acting! Reala and Wizeman's put work into making their characters sound intimidating and NiGHTS voice actress exudes sass (within the occasionally clunky script)

The graphics are so good when it comes to the level design

Plot through line with relatable characters and understandable motivations for the kids

Dedicated on foot sections were a neat!

A+ boss design with my only real critiques being Girana's really confusing mustache and Reala's pink nails. Queen Bella for most effective Nightmaren design imo but that's the arachnophobia talking

Motion controls are totally optional and the thumbstick controls work great

On the Wii, which back in the day made it extremely easy for people to play due to how common the console was

Optional collectables have a cool bonus reward (aka being able to play as Claris and Elliot)

JoD Cons:

Owl (specifically his voice clip spam which gets so annoying so quickly)

I really don't enjoy the key chase missions and wish the game let you free roam outside of them more effectively

Bomamba's boss stage tilt table thing

Chamelean's unintuitive boss design

Reala's criminally underutlized in gameplay

Helen and Will not being able to put two and two together about NiGHTS and Reala being related for so long

Some extremely clunky dialog (ie "Go over and touch NiGHTS" which will be memed for all eternity by the fandom)

Character modeling and graphics are off on Owl's feathers and the kids' faces just don't look quite right in some scenes

Issues with plot and pacing (aka pretty much the primary motivating factor to my rewrite's creation in the first place)

The ambiguity of the game's timeline (aka is this a sequel, a prequel, or a soft reboot) but that's a completely personal gripe

My Dream. I LOVE the concept of it and loved playing the same levels repeatedly to try and shift the landscape but its inconsistency of what effected what got added, as well as Nightmaren drawn in by paraloops having to be manually taken out before they eat any Nightopians severely disincentivized paralooping in stages as an enemy removal tactic. That, and the stage never seemed to graduate beyond "grassy flat field" minus the occasional shallow water feature or hill

The ending's focus on the yellow Ideya just vibes so weird to me

Personas were kind of a weird inclusion that I wish the devs would have had a lot more time to utilize

Awakers are weird and I get the three count thing but the Alarm Egg was iconic. Annoying, yes, but iconic, I don't really get its removal.

Despite the wall of cons for JoD, both games are good for their own reasons!

[outoffux5]

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