#always come back to me and our home we've built together

[repressedgaymer]

i don't want to date anyone. but id Love to be somebody's wife or husband

[wondersinwaynemanor]

what if the batkids decided at the same time to bring their partners to the Manor and they argue about it?

[i can't stop writing long scenes]

scenario 1:

Duke has his arm wrapped around Izzy's waist as they make their way to the movie room.

Duke: Have you decided which movie you want to watch tonight?

Izzy, grins: The Notebook?

Duke, opening the door of the room, chuckles: But we've just watched that two weeks ago. Besides, Dick and Jason love that film, I've watched it a lot of times by now.

Izzy, turns the switch on to illuminate the room: What's the harm in rewatching-

they stop in their tracks as Steph and Cass enter the room from the other entrance of the movie room.

Steph giggles and leans towards Cass' face to kiss her. they don't even notice that the room is now bright with the lights on.

Duke, clears his throat loudly: Uh. Just to let you know, there are other people in the room.

Izzy: Sorry! We didn't mean to interrupt.

Steph and Cass, still holding each other, look at Duke and Izzy at the other side of the room.

Cass waves to them.

Steph: What are you two doing in here?

Duke: To watch a movie? Clearly.

Steph: But we started an hour ago.

Duke: I don't see a sign in the door that says it's occupied though.

Duke has really been hanging too, too much with Damian and Jason.

Cass, covers Steph's mouth before she speaks more: Maybe we can watch together.

Izzy, smiles: What were you guys watching earlier?

Steph and Duke, say at the same time: But this was supposed to be a date!

then Steph and Duke glare at each other, suddenly arguing over random things.

Cass shakes her head and leads Izzy outside the room so they can get some food from the kitchen.

---

scenario 2:

Dick continues to lead Wally to the private pool that was just newly built.

they just came home from a mission and some dip in warm water under the bright stars sounds so good right now.

by the time they both strip down to their boxers, Dick is a giggling mess as Wally bridal carries him on the stairs down to the water.

Wally, still carrying Dick on his arms, backing both of them on the pool wall: Have I told you today how beautiful you are?

Dick, blushes, wrapping his arms on Wally's neck: You always remind me. But tell me again-

then out of nowhere, someone shouts, "KABOOOOOM!" and a large splash of water hit both of them.

Dick, rubs the water off his eyes: What the actual fu-

and it's Roy from across the side of the pool, leaning against the wall with a smug grin on his face. on his side is Jason with the same kind of smile.

Roy, brings Jason closer to him: Oh, isn't it my two best friends of all time?

Jason, laughs: Ocupado, Dickface. Sorry.

he wasn't sorry at all.

Dick, groans, coming down from Wally's arms: You lied, Jay! You said you were out of town.

Jason, shrugs: Plans change, Dick.

Wally, rubs Dick's arm soothingly: A little warning next time, guys?

Roy, grins: Not our forte.

Dick, grumbles: You guys are assholes. Go to another area or something, I don't care.

Jason: I'm sorry, what was that, Dick?

Dick: Asshole, I said go to another area. Period.

Jason: Why you-

then the two brothers are moving forward towards each other on the water, aiming for a fight of sorts. one minute, Jason has Dick under the water and the next, it's Dick chasing Jason in the water like ducklings. like birds.

Wally hides Dick's escrima sticks, while Roy hides Jason's guns. just in case the fight escalates.

---

scenario 3:

Roy, whines: Jaaaaaybird, can we sleep now?

Jason: I said give me a minute, Roy. I need to grab a book.

Roy leans his weight on Jason, closing his eyes.

Jason: And I'm not carrying you, idiot.

although, he wraps his arm on Roy's waist, supporting him as they walk to the Manor library.

Jason, opens the door: Give me a few, kay? Then we can- WHAT THE SHIT?

Roy feels more awake than awhile ago as they both stare at Kon, shirtless on the couch and his hair a mess.

Jason: Clone, what are you doing here????

Kon, flushes, embarrassed: I... I... Um.

then Tim appears from behind the couch too, his hair also a mess, but thankfully his clothes still on. or else Jason would have threw up on the floor.

Roy just has a grin on his face the entire time, amused.

Tim, grins: Hey, guys.

Jason, pinches the bridge of his nose: I swear, Timmy, I fucking swear, if you and clone boy don't fucking take your hormones upstairs to your own room, I will-

Tim: You will what, Jay? I mean... You don't own this place. Doesn't mean you spend most of your time here, it's yours.

Jason: I never said I owned this! I just fucking said, don't do funny business on the library couch.

Tim, scoffs: As if you don't do funny business here.

Roy, grins even widely: The boy's got a point, Jaybird.

Jason, now even more upset: Go, go upstairs!

Tim: But-

Jason: Now, Tim!

Tim: You're not my mom!

Jason: And you're not being responsible!

Tim: As if you're any better!

then the two boys continue to argue, leaving Roy and Kon to shrug and make their own conversation by the door.

Roy: Hey, kid. How's the Young Justice?

Kon, smiles: Pretty good. How's the Outlaws?

---

bonus:

Damian and Jon are in the game room, playing some Mario Kart when they hear voices outside the room.

Steph: We were here first!

Dick: I thought I told everyone in the groupchat that me and Wally will be having the Game Room.

Jason: I already called dibs in the room.

Duke: I arrived earlier than any of you, so technically, me and Izzy get to use it first.

Tim: Hey, I never had the Game Room this week!

Cass, suggests: Can we just all share it?

Damian, opens the door, annoyed: Will everyone just keep their mouths closed? I have settled in the room already.

as the batkids continue to make their points, Jon exits the room and flies to the main living room where the rest of the partners are talking.

Jon, settles beside Kon: I guess this is a regular occurance.

Roy, chuckles: You have no idea, kid.

Wally: As long as I can remember, yes.

Kon: You'll get used to it, little brother.

Izzy: With a house so big, they still argue on who gets a room first.

Izzy, sees the Monopoly game under the coffee table, smiling: Anyone up for Monopoly?

[moonlight-sonata99]

What we've built

Hunter x F!ex jedi reader

This has SPOILERS from the series finale!

Tumblr deleted the original draft I had🥹 which was LONG AS HELL but here we are.Sorry for any mistakes that may have went unnoticed! Also I'm currently thinking about writing a crosshair and wrecked one hehehe

"So...your leaving. Just like that?" A voice called out in the darkness, as omega packed in her room. She had obviously not been expecting anyone to be home,Hunter had went out a while ago. And The women in front of her was meant to be asleep long ago.

"I...no..?" Omega grinned awkwardly, and the women in front of her only gave her a deadpanned expression as she leaned on the doorway as if blocking omegas way...

"I need to-"

"I know." The women sighed, getting off the doorway and walking next to omega, and picked up and folded the clothes and places them in her pack. Omega only looked at her and sat down on the bed, the sadness somewhat getting to her.

"Dont feel guilty" the older women said,

"It's what you have to do" she added as omega stared at her. Omega remembers when she first met her. The woman was on tantis, and when omega had found her..she her hands were tied and she looked tired...now she stood before her.

"When I was born,They took me to the jedi temple," the woman said, looking down at the clothes in front of her. "I never had the chance to become what I wanted to be." She said softly, walking to omega and gesturing her to stand, and so omega did.

"I won't deny you" the woman whispered softly, her voice was trembling. And omega began to feel her eyes mist. "You will always be that little girl on tantis" The woman smiled and hugged omega.

"I love you" she said as omega hugged her back, tears running down her cheek.

"I love you to"

The woman and omega packed up the rest of omegas belongings and The woman opened the door as omega walked our, and turned back with a sad smile.

"Dont you dare think about not coming back" the woman instructed, waving her finger at the girl. And omega laughed "I promise " she said and hugged her one last time.

"Goodbye" omega said into her shoulder and the woman tapped her back,

"Goodbye omega," the woman said softly. And omega pulled away, and turned her back and walked away. The woman only watched as the tears began to fill her eyes once again, and she leaned on the doorway, keeping her eyes on omegas figure until it disappeared in the distance.

The night remained, and the woman tugged on her long sleeved top, and she walked to the cliffs and hiked down. There the waves crashed and she looked around, and found a familiar figure sitting on the rocks.

"You alright?" She called out,and Hunter's head turned to see the woman climbing up the rocks. He met her halfway and offered his hand, which she gladly took. She noticed the ship was long gone, and she sighed.

"I suppose," hunter said, a but if sadness in his voice. The two walked together and sat down watching the soon dissapear.

"She will be alright" the woman nodded softly, "we've...taught her well"

"You sound..somewhat unsure" hunter chuckled looking at her with a smile.

"I felt I was bit rusty," she admits, opening her palms. "And all I know is how to fight like a jedi. I hope I wasn't too harsh, " she says, her eyes darting to the sea

"You did fine" hunter smiles, taking her hand in his. "We did fine"

The woman smiled and let her free hand on top of his, his hands were filled with old scars, and rough. He had taken up fishing and other hobbies since their stay here.

"We have, haven't we?" She says in thought. "If you had told me years ago that if I married a clone, I don't think I would've believed you."

Hunter laughed and she looked at her,

"If you had told me if I had married a jedi, I don't think I wouldn't believe either."

The two chuckled, and basked in eachothers presence.

"It's nice,what we've built is beautiful," she said softly, leaning closer to him and putting her head on his shoulder. He only hummed and looked down at her. His wifes face is also marked with her years, but he pays no mind. She is just as beautiful as the day he layed eyes on her.

He leans his head down on hers and admires the waves that continue to rock back and forth,

"Hmm..this reminds me, you have another one at home that needs you" the woman teases and hunter grimaces, thinking about the young girl back at home. "Ehhhh I think she doesn't need me as much, I think she'll need you" he replies with a smile and the woman laughs.

"As if!"

[matthewswifeee]

Reunited

In which you haven't seen or spoken to the triplets in over 3 years because of your messy relationship issues. . TW: Mentions of domestic violence (Not by any of the triplets) . And btw I never proof read. .

Three years... it has been three whole years and I find myself pulling into the drive way of a very familiar house. Danny, my now ex boyfriend and I just got into a huge fight...once again.

I can't do this, I think to myself as I continue to sob in the drivers seat of my car. Maybe I should just go home now and save my self the embarrassment. "They're gonna move away and forget all about you" Danny's word replay in my head over and over. "They don't have time for you" "They're actually making something of themselves what do they need you for" "Save them the trouble of having to deal with you and all your problems" his words replay again in my head, they probably haven't even thought about me all this time, I say to myself before hitting the steering wheel and snapping myself out of my thoughts.

I can't say that I haven't done this before, sat in their drive way trying to build up the courage to show my face again, but this happens every time. I think about Danny and all the things he has imbedded in my brain about them and how they feel towards me and I chicken out and run back home to him. I always walk back into that house that is supposed to be my home and stay with the terrible man that I've built somewhat of a life with.

I look down at the shining diamond ring placed on my left hand and think, there is no way I can marry him. I've been engaged to this terrible man for almost two years and ever since he's put this ring on my finger it has all gotten worse and worse by the day. Every time I pull into this drive way I tell myself it's the last time and when I leave without getting out of the car once again I won't come back, I can't come back and ruin their lives.

.

.

.

MATT'S POV:

"She's here again" Chris says looking through the curtains of our living room making Nick and I both get up to look with him. I can see her crying, she does this every time. She sits in the car and cries like something I've never seen before then she pulls her self back together and drives back off. "Come on" Nick whispers hoping that she'll actually get out of the car. "She's been there for awhile maybe tonight's the night" Chris says with hope.

We know how terrible her boyfriend is, but we also know that she always goes back to him and it's not her fault that he's found every kind of way to control and manipulate her. "Wait look" I say seeing something shining through her windshield. "No" Chris says noticing it too. "You don't think they're getting married, right" Nick says but it sorta comes out as more of a question.

"That has to be why she's here" I say, "And why she hasn't left yet" Chris adds on, she knows she can't marry him the rest of her life would be gone. We've seen the bruises every time she pulls into the driveway and it just get worse and worse, If she were to actually marry him she'd be stuck forever there's no way she would leave him.

.

.

.

"Fuck" I shout trying to snap myself back into reality. I have to do this, I have to go inside... If I don't Danny is going to end up killing me. I reach for the door handle and take one last breath before opening it. I place one foot on the ground and feel myself start to tremble with anxiety and fear, I'm not scared of the boys I'm scared of them not wanting to speak to me again.

I close the car door and take yet another deep breath before pulling at the sleeves of my sweatshirt and making my way to the front door and knocking on it. I can feel my heart thumping when suddenly the door swings open reveling Matt with Chris and Nick both just a few feet behind him. I go to open my mouth and speak but all that comes out is a cry and I fall into Matt's arms.

Matt and I were always the closest, I mean we were so close to being in a relationship until I met Danny and he made me feel like Matt would never want me. He used to tell me that I would just mess up Matt's life because the boys were moving to LA and that he would be way more interested in girls out there that he would just leave me anyways. Of course I believed him I mean what other choice did I have.

"It's ok, it's ok, I got you" Matt whispers as he holds me tightly and I sob into his chest. "I can't do it anymore" I cry as I pull away from Matt and wipe my tears with the sleeves of my sweatshirt. "Hey" Chris says placing his hand on my shoulder "We're here now" he says reassuring me that every thing is going to be alright and giving me a hug. "You don't have to go back anymore" Nick says also hugging me.

.

.

.

After a few hours of the boys and I catching up they offered to let me spend the night.

"You can stay in my room" Matt says as we're talking about where I was going to sleep. "I don't want to put any of you out of your bed" I say not wanting any of them to give up their room for me. "It's fine (Y/n) I really don't mind" Matt says tying to get me to accept his offer. "Matt can sleep with me that way you don't have to feel bad about his sleeping on the couch" Chris says also trying to get me to feel better about sleeping in Matt's room. "Fine" I say finally giving in.

The four of us all get ready for bed when I quickly realize I have nothing to sleep in. "Matt" I say standing in Chris' doorway and he walks over to me. "Can I borrow something to sleep in" I ask and he leads me to his room, opening the closet. "Take whatever you want" Matt says then he leaves the room. I get changed into one of Matt's t-shirts and quickly get into bed, I was so exhausted it was unbelievable. As soon as I shut my eyes my phone lights up with a text from Danny, do not look, I think to myself. After a few minutes of tossing and turning I couldn't help myself but look at all of his messages.

Baby when are you coming home

im sorry

babe

(Y/n)

Please come home

Baby please I need you

I drove past and saw your car at their house...

You know they dont want you there

They dont care about you anymore

I told you Matt and Chris are just trying to get in your pants

Thats all you are to them

You mean nothing to them they think your worthless

At least I love you come on babe

Come home it was one stupid fight

I didn't mean for this all to happen (Y/n) I love you

I wont ever do it again I promise

I went out and bought you that neckless you've been wanting

(Y/n) just come home or I will come get you

He won't ever stop, what if I just go home then maybe he'll stop all of this. Maybe if I go home this will be the time he actually changes, I think to myself. After I read all of the messages from Danny I began to feel sick to my stomach. I sit up on the edge of Matt's bed, bringing a hand to my chest to feel my heart beating at a rapid pace as my mouth starts to water I get up and bolt for the bathroom across the hall.

"Hey hey hey, I got you" Matt says rushing to my side to hold back my hair and rub my back as I'm spilling my guts into the toilet in front of us. I feel the tears start to form in my eyes again thinking about how much control Danny has over me, how he's the reason for me being like this. I was so scared of him and what he might do that it was physically making me sick. After I was done puking Matt and I sat on the bathroom floor for a minute as I tried to pull myself back together.

"Can I ask you something" Matt says and I nod my head in response. "What happened, like what made you actually come here and leave Danny" Matt asked sounding concerned yet curious at the same time, I knew he could see the bruises and scars covering my skin now that I was wearing nothing but the oversized t-shirt I borrowed from him. I take a deep breath before deciding if I was actually ready to tell Matt what happened earlier in the day. "He um... he, he hit me...again...like bad this time" I manage to choke out and I see Matt's soft expression turn even softer as he grabs my hand.

"My sister was in town this weekend and she stopped over before she had to go to her work conference and Danny he um, he got home just before she was leaving then after she left it's like the switch flipped and he became the monster again" I start to tell Matt what had happened, this story similar yet so different to the many others. I could tell Matt was listening and letting me take my time just by the expression on his face, he kept his hand placed in mine and let me continue my story. "He um... he started yelling about how I had company over and I didn't tell him, I didn't have dinner done, I didn't have on any makeup around my company and I let her see me looking disgusting" I continue on the verge of tears. "It's ok (Y/n)" Matt says in an attempt to reassure me that I was ok now. "The he-he slapped me and put his hands around my neck" I say beginning to cry. "He screamed in my face and told me that I don't deserve to be his wife, that-that I wasn't good enough to be with anyone and-and then he pushed me into the kitchen counter" I tell Matt having a flashback to the events that took place.

"You're such a worthless, stupid bitch" Danny shouts at me again as I begin to cry. "Stop fucking crying" he screams and I feel the familiar sting hit my check once more before he grabs me again by my wrists. "Stop fucking crying (Y/n) or I swear to god I will kill you" he shouts grinding his teeth as I try my best to choke back the tears.

"This is why all of your friends hate you and why your family doesn't want you because your a fucking crybaby bitch who can't do anything right" he shouts at me before hitting me once more. He drags me into our bedroom by my wrists "Since you're obviously not good for anything else you're going to do exactly what I want" Danny says unbuckling his belt. "Please no" I cry begging him not to do this again.

"You're supposed to be my fucking wife soon you have to do whatever the fuck I want" he yells at me as he pushes me down on the bed. I struggle to get his off of me but somehow, someway I do and I grab my purse and run for the door. I make it to my car and see that he surprisingly isn't following me. Today's the day I leave forever.

"I am so sorry (Y/n)" Matt says softly as he pulls me close to him as I cry. "I knew he was bad but I didn't think it was this bad" he whispers to me as he softly rubs my back. After I'm able to calm back down and stop reliving that moment that happened earlier in the night Matt and I just sit together in a peaceful silence. "Can-can you sleep with me tonight" I sorta hesitate to ask. "Yes" Matt says, he then helps me up off of the floor and we go back into his room laying down on opposite sides of the bed.

Sooo what do we think?? Should I do a part two?

Also comment to be on the tag list <3.

Have an amazing day my little sluts. mwah

[totem-but-shark]

The differences and similarities between c and Q foolish is always so interesting to look at

They both have an ambition, though that came later on for cfoolish, and a tendency to make connections. Obviously that desire to build and create massive structures is shared as well

There are big differences though. A massive part of cfoolish was his pacifism and his struggle to find balance, which contrasts with with a chaos thrill seeking qfoolish

Cfoolish also isolated himself more. He deliberately built his home further away and harder to get to while foolish built his home right at spawn.

They’re both fairly well aware of cycles of violence and revenge, and act accordingly.

I also like how foolish almost always builds his homes by water, which is a deliberate choice by ccfoolish, as a throughline

it's SOOOOO interesting!!! there's so many similarities and parallels between the two whilst still feeling like fresh takes on the same base, uniquely shaped by their individual smps lore and experiences but the biggest question that prompts for me is "what exactly MADE them different?". If we consider that in a way they're different spins on essentially the same core character of Foolish the immortal shark totem was there some specific event or circumstance or fundamental difference in their hypothetically separate existences that caused them to split off as they seemingly have.

Where it's easy to spot the similarities when they're carved from the same stone, their differences run just as deep. These are characters with starkly different worldviews if you look close enough.

It's something i've thought about a lot and the conclusion I keep coming back to over and over is that thier defining difference is their relationship with or proximity to godhood.

They're two very very different immortals, Cfoolish was a god/demigod, he spent his life believing in his status as something more amongst mortals and this wasn't truly challenged until he found himself bleeding red red red slaughtered at the red banquet. So much of his character was defined by his past divinity, the grace he fought tooth and nail to regain. Remnants of a darker crueler past, bloodstained hands atoned for with 100 lifetimes of pacifism. Beautiful hollow empty temples. I feel there is a clumsiness to cfoolish, having to learn to be a person after a forever of naive arrogance that could only belong to one who thinks themself a god and afraid like a child when the illusion breaks.

Whilst our knowledge of qfoolishs history is more limited, from the little we've been given he feels far more human. Which might be ironic for an immortal shark dude but there are no stories of bloodlust, worship or great powers beyond comprehension. Only the far more tame, almost domestic tidbits about bumping into bad and shenanigans together over the centuries. In my mind he might've been an immortal traveler walking the earth and doing as he pleased, not as a god but a couple thousand years old regular guy living his normal life just for a very very very long time. Qbad and Qfoolish carry a sense of wisdom to them unique to their qsmp iterations, more traveled and emotionally older than previous versions, like they've seen it all before. I see it in the way they speak and talk with one another and generally interact with the world around them and whilst it's likely a matter of both ccbad and ccfoolish expanding their stage presence and refining their RP but it really does add another layer of depth to these characters.

All together there simply isn't this same connection to divinity, the qsmp world is generally quite detached from religious structure. Maybe qfoolish might've been as powerful as cfoolish or had the capacity to be but never sharpened that aspect of himself pulling him further and further away from cfoolishs acts of wrath that became such an integral key turning point for his character. Qfoolish instead growing comfortable in casual eternity. Could qfoolish never have become a totem of death? How would that have effected his character compared to Cfoolish? Maybe not, it's extremely hard to judge how powerful qfoolish might be with a wiped memory and the possibility of federation power limiters/magic suppressors. Before getting on that train he could've been as powerful as cfoolish in his prime however with the information we have we'll simply never know. I think it's unlikely though, if just by his demeanour. Regardless of qfoolishs theoretical power the qfoolish we know is no god, there is no worship, never hailed as something higher. He's simply himself.

There's this odd dissonance between them especially in their relationship with death. Cfoolish viewed death as something he was excluded from, had power over and only saw in the lifeless eyes of others. Until he didn't. Qfoolish knows death is natural and equally inevitable. He fears it too of course though in the way one might fear the tide, he builds sand castles on the shore knowing they'll get washed away by the morning but can't help but bask in the sun anyway. Qfoolish walks among the people and knows you don't have to die yourself for death to hurt.

[winniemaywebber]

14 and 17 from the prompts for Dougie and Olive, please. I love reading their post war life together 🥲

hi nonnie!! thanks for being so patient and I'm so sorry this took so long!!!

from this prompt list - inbox is still open for more of these (:

under the cut to save space.

14. "Let's get dressed up for dinner tonight." "We just cooked-" "We don't have to go out!"

17. "We've been so busy lately, I feel like we haven't been home at all.”

“Here we are, Mrs Douglass. Came in just this morning!”

“Oh, wonderful,” Olive squeals. She unzips the garment bag, stroking the soft duck egg blue material over and over. “It's beautiful. I love it.”

“I'm sure your husband will love it, too,” the associate giggles, zipping the bag back up and handing it to her. “It'll more than make up for the shock of hearing the price.”

“Oh, no, he's not like that, ma'am,” she replies, shaking her head. “Far more easygoing than a lot of men, I think.”

“How did you get him to do that?” another woman laughs from behind Olive. 

“Uhm…just ahead of our time, I guess,” she says, signing her name on the receipt and picking up the dress by the hanger. “Thanks again.”

***

Olive is surprised to see her husband’s car parked in the driveway when she gets home, not expecting to see him until this evening. With an excited smile, she turns the key and wanders in, the bag swooshing over her shoulder as the wind catches it.

“Hi,” she grins, tottering up to him in the kitchen as he leans against the counter, reading this morning’s newspaper. “You’re home early!”

“I took the rest of the day off. We’ve been so busy lately, I feel like we haven’t been home at all. Just wanted to spend the rest of the day with my favorite girl.”

Olive can’t help but agree with what James is saying; between the both of them working, running errands in between and making house calls to James’ mother and the Bradys - John and Jules welcoming their second baby meant that Olive had been spending time letting Jules rest, playing with her namesake niece and holding the soft warm bundle of a newborn as their mama had showered, napped and taken care of herself after such an arduous task - it had meant they’d rarely been home for more than a kiss goodnight and a good morning cuddle.

“And how is my favorite girl, hm?” he asks, tipping her chin to plant a soft kiss on her lips before pushing his nose into the crook of her neck and nuzzling. 

“Fine,” she smiles, his lips now gently dragging across her collar bone. “Bought a new dress.”

“You did?! Let me see,” he says, quickly lifting his head off her shoulder. She lays the bag on the table and unzips, revealing the pleated skirt, cinched waist and rounded collar. 

“Isn’t it lovely?”

“Ollie, you’re gonna look so pretty in this. What’s it for?” “Just for you to look at,” she laughs, zipping it back up and beginning to walk up the stairs to hang it in her closet. He catches her, pulling her arm a little so she stops to face him.

“Gee, how did I get so lucky, hm?” “You told me one funny joke and I was done for, Captain Douglass.”

“Ugh, thank goodness it made you laugh.”

“I thank goodness, too.”

***

Dinner was a simple salad and homemade french fries, Olive finally expanding on her culinary skills thanks to her mother in law. Both of them, in fact, much improved from the first disastrous event in their new home, the newly built kitchen nearly catching alight from a grease splash on the stove eye and something overflowing. 

As Olive finishes setting the table for their meal, she feels James wrap his arms around her from behind. “Let’s get dressed up for dinner tonight. You can wear your new dress.”

“We just cooked!”

“We don’t have to go out. Come on, let’s make a date of it.” “It’s salad and french fries, hardly date-worthy.” “Oh, to me it is. When I’m with you, it always is.”

“Soft baby,” she coos, kissing him gently. “Okay. I’ll be right back.”

[maymayandthehog]

OKAY. I GUESS THAT'S FAIR ENOUGH. LOOK, LET ME MAKE ONE THING CLEAR UP FRONT, OK? I'M NOT TRYING TO DO SOME KIND OF BACK DOOR STUNT HERE, LOOKING TO WEASEL INTO A PLACE WHERE I ALREADY KNOW I'M NOT WANTED SO I CAN GET "ACCESS" OR WHATEVER. I'M SO OVER THE WHOLE MESS. I DON'T HAVE "REVENGE ON MY MIND" OR A "COMEBACK TOUR" OR WHATEVER. HAD TIME, BEEN FORCED THROUGH INVOLUNTARY PSYCHIATRIC CONFINEMENT, HAD MY WHOLE HISTORY DOXXED ALL OVER THE INTERNET, ALL THAT JAZZ.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY AND YOU DON'T HAVE TO CIRCLE THE WAGONS. I WANTED TO MOVE ON BUT ONE OF THE BIZILLION UNIVERSAL VARIANTS OF YOUR GRUNKLE JUST CRASHED INTO MY LIVING ROOM, AND HE WANTS TO MAKE A DEAL WITH ME, AND I'M... NEVER MIND. THIS ISN'T YOUR PROBLEM.

(@annoyangle)

Candy, cut the stream.

"What? But we haven't even gotten to the Caps for Capybaras segment yet—"

I said cut the stream!

---

She pushed back in her seat, wheels scraping against the floor as they fought desperately against a decade's worth of grime, rust, and sugar that had built up their axles.

Candy and Grenda exchanged a look. The emails were blind printed in advance in order to provide a truly authentic host reaction. There had always been some level of risk involved in this, and over the years they had received a few oddball questions (typically signed with a cursive double G), but this was the first time they had to kill a stream mid-response.

One of the capybaras chittered to itself. Grenda set a large box of hats down on the table next to it, and gave it a stern shhhh.

"NOT NOW. THE HOST IS THINKING."

Mabel stood, the abrupt movement nearly sending her chair toppling backwards. Clapping her hands together, she turned to face the two, and gave both a slightly strained smile.

"Girls! It's been a long day, right? We've all worked hard. Grenda, you carried all SIX of those capybaras up here on your shoulders! I know my back would be screaming!"

"MY MUSCLES ARE LIKE IRON, BUT EVEN IRON CAN BREAK," Grenda wearily agreed.

"It's important to remember to bend with your knees," said Candy. She looked a bit uncertain. "Perhaps we could take a short rest..."

"Great!" Mabel began folding the print out, and slid the paper into her back pocket. "We have the capybaras until tomorrow morning. Let's meet early and we can hammer out the rest of today's shoot. It wont be a live audience, but, I mean, given our track record, I think our fans will find it in their hearts to forgive us—"

"Ah, yes, of course, but, Mabel—"

"I mean, twelve years and not a single missed episode. I'd say that's pretty good!"

"Yes, it's excellent, but Mabel—"

"And it's not like we didn't save the world or anything! If nothing else, they gotta cut us some slack for that, right?!"

"Mabel!"

"Errr.... yes, Candy?"

"It's okay. We don't have to finish the episode. We are just... worried! The question—it seemed to upset you."

"Oh," Mabel faltered a bit. Her hand hovered briefly over the small, paper rectangle, then dropped at her side. "No, I'm okay. Just... a lot to think about, you know? School's starting Tuesday and I still have so much to do... Just your typical pre-class jitters. Every teacher gets 'em!”

“You never get the jitters.”

Mabel circled out from behind the table, so that she could throw an arm around Candy's shoulders and begin steering her towards the door. “Haha, what can I say? You’re looking at a more mature Mabel this year! With age comes anxiety! I guess it’s bad enough that one weird email was enough to throw me off my game. But I'll be better tomorrow, promise."

"Hmm,” hmmed Candy.

"I'll let you take the capybaras home,” Mabel offered, weakly.

"YEAHHH! CAPYBARAS!" Grenda flung her fists into the air. "THEY'RE LIKE BUNNIES THAT YOU CAN RIDE!" She reached down and grabbed one of the rodents by its mid-section, then hauled it up over her shoulders. It squeaked.

Candy turned towards her, alarmed. "Your knees, Grenda! Use your knees!"

As Grenda barreled out of the room and down the creaking stairwell, Candy gave Mabel a final look. "Well, so long as you're sure... I suppose we can finish Sunday." She looked down at the five remaining animals. "And they are very cute."

"They're soooooo cute.”

"Okay. Sunday. What time?"

"Uhhh... I'll text you?"

"Right." For a moment, the ghost of a frown weighed down Candy's features, but dissipated as she seemed to reach a decision. Carefully, she began to usher the rest of the capybaras into the hall. "Okay, capybaras. This way."

"Bye, Candyyyy!"

"Goodbye, Mabel. Let us know if you need to talk. Our ears are always open."

"Yeah..." Mabel waved, still smiling as the lock clicked into place. "I know."

Standing in the now empty attic, Mabel sighed and glanced towards the streaming set up. The light were still on, the boom mic still stood by her seat. She navigated back to the table, bent, and unplugged the powerstrip. The lights shut off.

"Okay, Bill," she said, straightening. "I know you're here. Let's talk."

[kobblefort]

Hoistedworked: Origins

Alright, okay, yeah. Back on the wagon, right here in the woods. It's still plenty remote, cold enough to teach a Dwarf to speak in clicks, and it is actually capable of sustaining life. Sure it's no glacier but the glacier was always a shitty idea. We can at least carve something out here. Like some ideas are actually just bad. Like too bad to manage. This one though is basically fine. We can do this.

See? Look at this shit, it's beautiful. Plants. Trees. Actual solid ground. Since I never introduced the actual decapods before, let's pretend these are all just the same guys, okay? Just for convenience's sake.

Cikuti Worthoars, who likes bobbit worms for their knobs and angles. Oh yeah and suddenly the snow cleared up. Don't ask me, I don't know why.

Cutichi Strengthtown, AWESOME name. He likes to eat seahorse meat and loves two-grain wheat beer.

Chetek Boattrussed, who likes kangaroos for their pouches. 🤔

Cukikuki Townriddle. Big fan of eating giant Brown Recluse spiders, even though she hates cave spiders. I'm not going to ask.

Scukikik Denttongs. Big beak dog fan.

Retuti Livingwheel, groundhog fan and mead drinker. Wonder if we can actually get a bee colony set up here.

And finally Cikuki Prisoncrafts, goat eater. Well, please forgive me if I kind of breeze past the "starter base setup" phase here.

Or, well, I would, but... nobody wants to work. That's not some boomerism, nobody will just pick up the tools to chop wood or dig holes. They gather plants fine, and took apart the wagon without any trouble, but now they're just... gawking...

Reading about it on Reddit, it seems the solution is to just retire the fort and then immediately un-retire it. So we'll try that I guess.

come on... come on... YES!!

We don't even make it all the way down 10 stories before discovering the cavern this time. And before you ask:

yep, fucked up normal grass again. Whatever. It's not as big of a deal this time. One day I really ought to properly ask how that even happens, but for now, I'm just rolling with it.

Up above, all that happened in the two weeks the game makes you wait whenever you start fortress mode again is that the crabs spilled all their prickleberry wine. What a tragedy!

After about a season, we've got a pretty nice setup coming together. All the stockpiles are hidden away under the big main meeting area, the aquifer drains into a cistern, things that rot are kept safely away from the average crab's path, and walls are being built up top to make a more secure entrance. We've eaten a boar and silky sea slug while food stocks were low, and the giant leopard we brought with us "went missing" some time ago - which probably just means it's dead. Giant raccoons have been harrassing us up on the surface, but that's the point of setting up our defenses. It's a much more auspicious start than our first expedition, and with self-sufficiency actually taken care of, we'll be able to get our paper economy and library off the ground sooner than later. We've also found a bit of native platinum quite high up in the earth, but once you start the metal economy, it feels like you just sort of become a metal economy fortress. So we'll hold off on that for now. Also, the giant wolves keep wandering into our meeting hall. Don't worry, they're ours, but they'd probably suit us better outside fending off the raccoons... Oh, and nobody has bedrooms yet. Nobody's too pressed about that, though. One time a really drunk guy came over to my house and when I said "alright that's it for the night" he was like for sure, peace out, slapped my hand, fistbumped me, grabbed his things and walked 5 steps out the front door to fall asleep sitting up on the stairwell of my apartment. So people can do that, people can just sleep on stairs. My roommates found him and were like "what the fuck" and I was also like "what the fuck" because I figured he'd just go home. I think they just let him sleep though. I would've heard it if he fell down the stairs and he didn't. So you can do that.

There's not a lot to say right now. We're not making a ton of money, but we're sustaining ourselves fine.

Defenses are coming together fine, too. Our giant wolves had pups and the pups have the zoomies. It's wonderful.

There's a quantum stockpile now to make woodworking a lot easier. For those not in the know, a "quantum stockpile" is a 1x1 stockpile that gets filled by having a minecart dump into it. The cart races down from the surface, and is just long enough that it doesn't crash at the end, though also just too long to auto-dump - so instead, the solution is to make whoever finishes filling the cart hop in and ride it down so that they can push it the last couple tiles. Or at least, that's the plan; at first crabs just kicked the cart down the ramp, but since I changed it to be ridden instead, everyone's been too busy putting a ceiling over the main "courtyard."

Here's our "administrative wing": counter-clockwise from the top, it houses our expedition leader Worthoars, production supervisor Boattrussed, and sheriff Channeledchain. We've got a hospital set up earlier than we need it for once, but nobody's been appointed chief of medicine yet. I ultimately had to run DFhack drain-aquifer just because the "mist generator" started overflowing, but I've set up "ponds" where any crab with nothing better to do will chuck a bucket of water down from the top of the stairs. The result is the same, so it should cheer everyone up. They'll need it, since...

Roofing the main area has everyone caught in a snowstorm, and though nobody's particularly miserable at all, it's still dragging some crabs down. Oh, and I like this.

Efficiency be damned, I wanted a cool bedroom setup, and looking down into the great hall right when you wake up seems pretty cool to me.

An agitated giant raccoon attacks, but it's put down pretty quickly by the giant wolves. The bigger threat is our own lack of forethought.

I wanted to put grates up above the farm plot there, because I'm not actually sure whether you still need outdoor plants to get sunlight and rain or whatever, or if a tile that was directly exposed to the sun at any point just counts as "outdoors" forever. I honestly think it's the latter but you know what they say about eggs and baskets and all that type of shit.

The problem is that crabs kept trying to put floors down on these tiles, which was possible because they could walk over the grates to reach them, but didn't register to the game as structurally sound, so the floor just instantly collapsed every time they tried to do it. Well, at least nobody died.

Except for just now. I tried to make the quantum stockpile also include rocks, and it worked! But people keep walking out in front of it and getting hit. Somehow, a shrimp survived just fine, but this metalsmith fucking died. It seems obvious to like, not walk on minecart tracks, especially if they're set to the "no" traffic setting, but it's apparently not. A bit of judicious wall use seems to fix it, though. We also make probably the ugliest fucking graveyard I've EVER set up.

Right off to the side of our main noble quarters for whenever we either get a mayor, get elevated to a barony, or whatever else, I just made... I don't know. This spaghetti nightmare. I don't care. If crabs were dying in battle, then you know, I'd take it serious, I'd make a big whole thing out of it or at least plop down the quickfort windmills. But what am I supposed to feel about a guy bashing himself with the fucking minecart? Like... you get what you paid for. And now the next poor saps to die in this fortress get what you paid for too.

Our first artifact is created! Its name translates to "Slippants." Ok. It just has an image of a decapod in it. Not even any particular kind of decapod in specific. But it instantly makes Hailcloistered, or jesus christ how am I supposed to remember this, Ricikikikitikik into a legendary armorsmith. Which is, you know, cool. Yeah, we could probably get some armor going. I neglected to mention I set up a metalsmithing business; I didn't want to, but there are so many metalsmiths in this fortress that they started a guild, and I always wanted to try actually placing workshops in a guild-relevant area instead of just having all the workshops in one place and guild halls somewhere else, so it's a little inefficient, but it looks cool, so who cares.

...and that right there is the last thing I wrote before I stopped playing for 8 months.

I feel like the reveal was always coming: "I was just doing this as a weird cry for help cloaked dick-deep in 69 layers of irony." Like on the surface it looks like it is just a person freaking out but then one layer lower it's actually just a guy fucking around but one more layer it's freaking out again and on and on and on. I don't know what to say besides that. I'm in the first really healthy relationship of my life and trying not to mess it up. I'm still soul-crushingly poor with no real skills or job prospects. I do still play the greatest simulation game of all time Dwarf Fortress, though much more rarely - I often boot it up with big ambitions to make some Content for The Tube, actually, but I'm simply too good at the game, so nothing interesting happens in my forts, and I end up with twenty gigabytes of footage and ten pages scribbled in a notebook covering six years of fortress management where the most interesting thing that happens is like, I set up a milling industry.

I'm not really interested in Daarunbay Detevay anymore, I'm sorry. It's not like I've deleted it, I keep pretty extensive backups of all my worlds and saves for the greatest simulation game of all time Dwarf Fortress, even though I rarely actually use them, so it's not really going anywhere. If there's any interest I could probably like, put the world folder on pixeldrain or mediafire or whatever and try to compile a mod list, but I'm not making any promises and I doubt anyone really wants that very bad anyway.

...and that right there is the last thing I wrote before I forgot about this draft for 2 months.

In that time, the Adventure Mode beta appeared. I stayed up all night waiting for it to come out, but it was still rough enough that I didn't dive all the way in just yet. However, I realized something after playing as a cockatiel man who got viciously killed for starting random fights with innocent dwarves in my own half-abandoned fortress which went to hell because apparently the AI lets all of the animals out of cages and unlocks all the doors when you retire a fort. There might still be much more to do in Daarunbay Detevay. Rat World may be doomed but there's no reason we couldn't make a party of Rat Bandits. Better yet we could embark from Rushsly on the mission of a lifetime: to kill Vakeek Malignreasons.

So I don't know. Maybe we're going to do that. Maybe I will actually make some YouTube Content and I'll never reveal there that I was the Kobblefort guy but you could see a video and recognize my loquacious schizotypal affect, and you'd be like "dude, aren't you the guy who did Kobblefort?" and I wouldn't respond or maybe I'd be like "what is that" but you'd know. You'd know it was me. But just for the record please don't go around asking Dwarf Fortress YouTubers if they're the Kobblefort guy. Because either they don't know and you have exposed a YouTube person (much more normal than Tumblr people, on the whole) to Kobblefort or you have put me on the spot. So yeah, just forget you ever read any of this, except for during the time where you're reading it. I'm trying to do the exact opposite of "death of the author" here. This is "death of the reader." No that sounds fucked up. This is "life of the author." Sure. See you soon

[jean-stamos]

Bearing another child was an idea I had locked up a long, long time ago, determined never to revisit again.

When my son Dillon was born, I knew right then and there that I had been blessed with the most perfect child. Though unplanned, my then-husband, Jayson, and I welcomed him with open arms and loved him with everything we had.

Dillon was the happiest little baby. Always smiling, always laughing, and barely ever fussed. Not with food, not with toys, not with anything. He liked to learn and explore, finding tiny bursts of happiness in things us adults have long since taken for granted. Our home was filled with his adorable little coos and giggles — the kind of joy we never knew we needed.

But his death... His death came too soon, and out of nowhere.

It was only supposed to be a cold. I mean, every child gets a cold every now and then, right? It would come, and it would go, and the children would go back to being children.

But when the illness came for my Dillon, they left with him, and took my entire world with them. And I haven't been the same since. We had never been the same since.

They say tragedy either brings people together or pushes them apart. Jayson and me? We didn't make it. Grieving for our son was too great a heartache to bear that we forgot we were going through the same hell. We blamed ourselves and each other for a situation that was out of our control. We were so full of anger and pain that we forgot we were supposed to be on the same side, comforting each other. We lost ourselves when we lost him, and eventually, we forgot we loved each other at all.

It was only a matter of time until Jayson and I decided to get a divorce. And since signing the papers, I've never looked back. I wanted to shut that chapter of my life, lock it up and throw it in the sea. I was determined to live life on my own. Never again would I get attached, this I promised myself. Never again will I have history repeating itself.

And it worked for a while. For years, really. And honestly, being a lone wolf wasn't as bad as people make it out to be. To distract me from my grief, I'd work day in and day out, building my business, my empire. I had everything I needed.

Or so, I thought.

Adrian was only supposed to be a one-night-stand. Just like the rest of the men I'd kick out of my hotel room before they had the stupid idea of sleeping over. But all it took was one night with him before I realised, he wasn't, at all, like the rest of them.

Adrian tore down the steel tower wall I had built around myself, bringing me out of my darkness and welcoming me into a life I never thought I deserved. He saw the monster that I am, saw the scared, broken woman at its core, and loved me fiercely anyway. And allowing myself to love Adrian back was the scariest concept, and biggest leap of faith of my life. But without a doubt, the best decision I've ever made.

It is because of him, and the home we've built together, that I felt safe bringing our little Serafina into the world. She brings us so much joy that my heart doesn't feel as broken anymore.

But that doesn't mean I don't miss my baby boy every day. I do, and I know I always will. If only he could be here and meet his little sister, I know he would love her with all his tiny little heart.

So, for him, for me, and for my Adrian, I promise to make sure our daughter is safe at all times, loved at all times, and protected at all times.

I refuse to relive my worst nightmare.

I refuse to lose all that I hold dear, ever again.

[colemorrison]

It's crazy that it's the end of the year already.. Tumblr has given me so many friends and memories.. This sounds like I'm leaving huh?

I'm not I promise! I love what I've built here, I adore the people I've met. I've met my girlfriend on here, my brother, friends..

Everything I have made here is home..

I'm not so good with words but this is coming to me surprisingly smoothly, I'm trying not to make this all about Yazz honestly.. I have so many things to say about her to her but I suppose not all of you need to know those things haha.

First up though my big brother.. @bruhhhh-huhhhhh, we haven't technically known each other long, you'd been following me for quite some time, before I ended up falling in love with your works and following you back. I'm a fanboy honestly, I wanted to reach out and talk to you more but I never knew the right words or if it was okay. Be thankful Yazz told me to do it otherwise I never would have and we would never be at this point.

I love our silly conversations and the ideas we share, how we talk about being absolute lovesick fools, nerds for overwatch and hot women. How you have never judged me for the ways I show affection, how you accepted the invite into my silly little family with no hesitation, how you're always so eager to request from me or make continuations because you genuinely enjoy my writing.

I'm really grateful to be ending the year with you as my big brother, let's get McDonalds and discuss Yeehan ideas at some point yeah?

Now @ya-zz.. I'm gonna try really hard not to make this excessively long because I think everyone knows how much I love you to begin with but I can't not include you in a post like this so..

When I sent that first message, all that time ago I thought it was a one and done thing. Then we kept talking, we talked for hours everyday... Well when we could I mean.. You were so busy with work and I was busy with getting my shit together and now.. Now I spend my days talking to you and if we are unable to talk I look at your pictures, listen to voice notes because I want to spend all my time with my girl.

I know there's been some scares and moments where we thought everything was gonna crumble but it hasn't and it won't. It's hard to find someone who loves you unconditionally and is willing to talk about everything needed with you, someone who wants the relationship to work. But you.. I want it all with you and I know we've said that a million times, I'll say it a million more.

I love you Yazz, let's see how much trouble we can start this year yeah?

Before I get even more emotional I'm leaving this here, I fucking love you both so much. Happy new year <3.

[bunnakit]

lore anon here, vibrating now, because I must ask, do you read tarot yourself? because I definitely do, (hell, I picked my latest daily draw deck that I've been working with since may by just asking each of the three decks I was trying to decide between what they each thought about ateez and then going with the deck that gave the fondest answer because why the heck not since I was changing decks right before the comeback. so why not, right?)

because, I am not kidding, half the reason I sent the last ask was because I'd been watching Don't Stop on loop for like 3 hours yesterday, (HJ standing on the piano while the room on fire has been a mood for me of late,) and I could not stop thinking about the Guerrilla cane and the Don't Stop cane and the fact that Hongjoong is such an absolute Emperor archetype personality-wise and how the Emperor is generally considered the evolved form of the King of Wands. And he was the one who literally got a wand in the photospread, and then got two canes (wands) in actual mvs. And wands are the suit of actions/passion/communication and they show up in the two mv's where the Black Pirates are finally taking action, and using their passion to communicate their message and start fighting to give people their emotions back, and then the one where Hongjoong has to kind of lose his mind and wreck the place in a fit of passion to get the key to ship back.

but I don't mention tarot because if someone's not into the woo-woo it makes me sound like I'm absolutely insane. I AM SO GLAD TO BE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

(And we've already had one very prominent cups song (Answer with its literal overflowing cup,) and one coins/pentacles song, (hi there WORK, welcome to the canon). ...and a sword song depending on if we're counting the kingdom/stage performances of Wonderland given how iconic Seonghwa's sword is to the song at this point).

Also, also if you want to talk about card associations? Bouncy where they are literally bringing down The Tower, because a system built on corrupt foundations cannot stand.

You could also argue San's toast in Answer relating to the Star card pouring water/healing given how much of an emotional resolution and idea of finding of an understanding between the A and Z pirates Answer is.

Or Yeosang captured by the android guardians and trapped in the glass prison cell as The Hanged Man, forcibly stuck and suspended in time and space and forced into a reflection that does not go well for him before they rescue him.

(Also I have not stopped thinking about that tarot reading all the way back from Codename: Ateez that I basically reverse-engineered the spread positions of based on how the reader lady gave the reading and.... Hongjoong coming up as the Emperor who sees Seonghwa as the Queen of Cups while Seonghwa comes up as the literal Queen of Swords who sees Hongjoong as the ace of wands like aaaaaaaaa. And the fact that she just whipped out the whole husband/wife thing because it seems like the overarching dynamic of their relationship is the 4 of swords, how they are together is 'a stable foundation' with the king and ace of pentacles, all of which if I was reading that same spread I would read as 'they feel like home to each other'. And the outcome of their relationship being 9 of cups/death? completely transform each other while making their dreams come true? aakhgkjhgkrjh hi, yes, they make me insane your honour)

THE TOWER. i stared at The Tower for ages like i KNOW we've seen a version of it and i couldn't think of it but it's absolutely Bouncy!! (The Tower is also the card i always fucking get in readings, thankfully not reversed.)

i don't actually read myself, never really took the time to learn, but i do collect decks (my husband got me the most gorgeous bird themed deck for our anniversary) - i mostly just look up card meanings from time to time and try to remember the iconography in them, but i DO have plans to get the reversed heirophant tattooed on me someday

i truly can't wait to see where the lore goes, while it made me cry for like 30 mins i'm so so curious to see where Golden Hour's lore takes us because it definitely feels like a HUGE pivotal moment in the story

[hero-deserves-to-be-happy]

for the oc asks 2 and 12 for kyle?

Thank you so much for playing the OC interview game we reblogged! We'd be delighted to answer some Kyle questions (or...er..."have Kyle answer them" lol 😂). Take care!! 💙

KYLE Answers:

2. Who is your best friend?  Tell us about them!

Oh definitely Zuzu (Zoey), but Mama (Hero) is a close second! 😁

Zoey has been my best friend since high school. She was a lot different back then (don't tell her, but I like her a lot better now 😂), but she was still really cool. She was the smartest kid in our class (except Gabe but he's mean), and when I had to miss school for all those knee surgeries, she would come over to my house and tutor me so I wouldn't fall behind and have to repeat a grade! We kind of knew each other before that because St. Al's (our private high school) was pretty small, but we didn't really hang out or anything until she started tutoring me. That's when we became friends, and we've been friends ever since!

I try to make sure she remembers to have fun, but that doesn't always work, especially since she hates parties. She thinks that I'm too irresponsible and I don't know when to stop or shut up sometimes and she'll always call me out on that, but I know she'll always be there for me. And that's a real friend, I think.

Hero is like that too. He's just a nice guy and takes care of people without wanting anything from them. He has a lot more patience for me and will actually go along with my ideas or what Zuzu would call my "shenanigans" sometimes. He also laughs at a lot more of my jokes! I wish he got out there a little bit more and had a little more fun instead of spending his Friday nights studying and organizing his sock drawer, but we're working on it!

12. If you could go anywhere in the world, where would it be? (on vacation or permanently!)

I've travelled a lot and always have a lot of fun visiting new places, especially meeting new people and collecting postcards to send to my friends back home!

But if you want to know where I'd like to travel...my brother, Ken, lives in Beijing right now, and I'd really like to visit him, but I think he's too busy with work and probably doesn't have time to see me. 😅 Zuzu really wants to go to Seville to see this really cool bridge there. She's always been a little disappointed that it was built after her family had moved away from Spain so she never got to see it, so maybe I'd take her there if I could even though I honestly don't know anything about bridges. I've seen pictures of this one though. It's pretty cool, I guess, for a bridge...

But...if I got to pick, I think I'd have to go with a ski trip to Vermont with my friends! My family has a ski lodge there, and I think it would be super fun to travel there together, maybe for spring break or something! I'll have to see if I can get them on board (I doubt I'd be able to convince Brandi to travel anywhere with me, but I'll try 😁)

I'm not sure where I'd like to live permanently. I'm honestly pretty happy in the city, and I liked Seaport (where I grew up) too!

[davy-zeppeli]

So I don't own a diary so I'm writing my thoughts here because it's my blog, fuck you.

The past month has been absolutely hellish. I've changed teams at work, had immense pressure put on me following this due to other managers in my area feeling the need to hound and scrutinise my team's work, and then I broke up with my partner, essentially throwing away any and all financial and home security I had in my future.

I separated with my partner for my own independence and freedom, to put it bluntly. 4 years together showed me we were perfect for eachother - same music taste, sams interests, many great and fun adventures together - but after 4 years, little things built up. Not being able to take the bus without scrutiny. Not being able to buy things I want in the shop due to it 'wasting money'. Stopping drinking because he didn't like it. Not being able to stay over at a friend's house without giving him dates and times I'd be back, as well as who I'm staying with and where. One of our last discussions was him asking me if I still loved him, which I did and do - but he also asked me if I'd been seeing other people. I didn't know it at the time, but it was a level of insecurity and fear expressed by him that was the primary indicator that something wasn't right.

About a week or so later, I suggested I move out and we try being friends.

This was not easy. Jesus Christ, it was hard. He took it well, and I can say now after a few more weeks we've both made peace with it. We're still best friends. He always will be! But it feels good now knowing that we're classifying our relationship as what it always was - best friends who live together. I've been told on numerous occasions that we really did just seem like roommates who happen to be together, and it only took until now to see it. But, despite it all, I feel a lot happier following my decision.

I have a flat pretty much secured for May - he has a new flat mate lined up for after I leave. I have my freedom, and now it's a case of getting used to it.

Then comes my other crisis: Daniel.

So, I really hope he doesn't ever see this. He won't.

I've worked with Dan for over a year now - occasionally saying hello in the office after bonding at a work's party. Separate teams, never had much reason to interact past that. Until I moved teams - onto his team.

When I say this man has been a crucial anchor for me, I mean in wholeheartedly and with such sincerity that I can't put it into words in a way that would do it justice. He was the one who made me realise, yeah, my situation isn't great at the moment, is it? Yeah, I enjoy going out, don't I? Yeah, the anti-depressants aren't nuking my libido, are they? It's something else. He's one of the most chill, sarcastic, and real people I've met in a long time - and he's got his own trauma to show for it. We've made the joke we're similar - both in therapy, both play instruments, both love music, etc. But as such, we both know how to read eachother too well. And boy, he read me like a book.

After going to his open mic (with his family, might I add. I thought more people would be going, but no - it was me and his family) and one gig with him, I'd realised I like him. A lot. A painful amount, actually. Yes, getting over my failed relationship was definitely contributing to it, but I can say now as well, with the beauty of hindsight, I do still like him. If he asked, I would. If he does ask, I will. He's very important to me. I like him very much.

It then became evident he liked me back.

I won't sugar coat it - we've slept together. At this point in time, about 6 or 7 times. That's more than I did with my partner in 4 years. I should feel like dirt for my quick 'turnaround' but I just can't bring myself to care about it. I thought I was broken, man, and that the anti-depressants had fucked me. Evidently not. He's told me after several heart-to-hearts that he cares about me a lot and trusts me. And I've echoed the same sentiment to him in return. I've stayed at his flat, we commute to work, I've met his family for christ's sake. You'd expect this to lead to us being together.

It has not lead to us being together.

To put it bluntly - he's not looking for a relationship right now. He has his own baggage he's trying to handle from a freshly broken relationship and moving house, so I am understanding. Does it make it hurt any less? Nope. When he told me this, aware I felt different, he put a boundary in place to protect me. No intimacy, just friends. I knew it was for the best, I trusted him and respected his needs. We moved on.

Now, the week following that decision? Torture. I wanted to be near him all the time, but had to make sure I respected him and his limits. It was for the best, in the end, because he was right - I was infatuated with him given my circumstances. So I can say now I'm not as head over heels for him as I was. He said it best himself: "I treat you with a little bit of respect and decency and you think I'm Jesus. You're just not used to having more than one of your needs met at once". Does that mean I don't like him any more in that way?

Absolutely not - but I know that it's something he doesn't want, so I'll put it on the back burner indefinitely. I love him too much as a friend to risk losing him over something like this.

Then comes last night.

The boundary was in place. We went out following a particularly stressful work day. We drank, we listened to live music, we had fun! Near the end of the night, he asked me how I felt towards him. Unprompted, almost. So I answered honestly:

I like him. Can't deny I like him. But I'm able to see that it's not what he wants, and I'm fine with that. I respect his boundaries. It doesn't mean I'm not attracted to him. His reaponse?

He nods. He asks me how I'm getting home. I say I haven't planned it. He asks if I want to go back to his. I agree. Once most people have left the bar and we're two of the few people left, he kisses me. Good fucking god it was like being hit with a bat. I'd missed it. I missed him. Needless to say, we went home, played some Guitar Hero, and then slept together. Our situation is friends with benefits and I'm happy with that.

Now, why am I typing all of this out? Like I said, I have no diary. I haven't been able to articulate these thoughts for a month in a way that would cause significantly reduced collateral damage. My therapy has been cancelled the past two times. I needed somewhere to speak.

If for some reason someone has read all of this - thanks? Feel free to ask questions. I don't mind. It might help me figure stuff out.

Until the next time, adios.

[justjozzyjitters]

Old Poem #113

"Abbey Cream 5-66"

This color saturate our walls,

Of this home we built together,

Where everything is spick-and-span

In a walk through of the house,

But the bedroom door is shut.

Pillows are still on the floor,

The bed isn't made,

Window shades pulled shut all that they may,

Overlapping in the middle,

Light still seeping through.

This I explain so honestly,

The shades aren't thick enough--

How better shades are needed,

But you sneer-- Light. Darkness.

We're exact opposites.

I like to sleep, walk and see,

Abbey Cream 5-63,

But in coming to, as with you,

Wake shan't come so soon,

Dark a little while longer.

Since it's my preference,

Wake so soon,

Light a little prompter,

I must be doing it-- Accidently-on-purpose.

Thoughts voiced directly from my lips,

Don't really matter,

Only 'cause they're mine

"Facts can't be feelings";

Only your perception-- that's what you said, isn't it?

Clarified till the things I really feel

I cease to mention.

Nonsense spoken.

Make art.

You've always been pure chaos,

But only on the inside--

Shadows on a stand still

Casting Abbey Cream 5-68,

A deer-in-headlights-type situation,

Nothing to say in the moment.

Just a simple nod,

Fingers crossed behind my back,

Promise to do better but

How fan things be fixed when

Communication lives single-sided?

One just barking orders,

Nothing to refute--

You can do nothing wrong,

Unlike me-- if only you could tell me

What it is I've done.

But yours is a truth lingering quiet,

Moving on it moments,

While I sit brooding later,

Writing out my script,

So much easier to think with pause

Pencil and eraser with which mistakes can be erased till

All I could have said

Logical and if not,

Is left only to my knowledge,

The way to hurt the least

I toss my words to the fire.

I could go to you,

Start the fight this time,

Force open the curtains,

Eyes straining against the light--

Gleaming like glass,

Reflecting each other

But you just cloze them again and

Shut me up.

The fight is done

We've moved on

Notes burn in the fire

Ash and Abbey Cream 5-63.

It's so much easier when I've done wrong,

Fixing me is just so much simpler,

Blame game just with me at fault,

No critique from me and I can keep the

Light a little longer

For now I get my compromise

Dark a little prompter.

About 2023, age 19.

[dballzposting]

Dragon Ball GT

(Trunks awakes, bleary-eyed)

Trunks: hwha... where am i...?

(He recognizes the room, slowly, to be of Palace-chan's place; in front of him are two chairs, and he realizes that he is sitting in one too. He looks down, and sees that he fixed securely in place with tight rope)

Trunks: (snapping to lucidity) HUH.

(The talking in the adjacent room stops, alerting Trunks that it was present at all. He sees his buddy Goten quickly spy into the room, look him in the eye, and then retreat.)

Goten: (lowly) Oh he's awake. Come on he's awake. Ok come on you got your paper? Okay. Look alive. This is serious.

(GOTEN enters the room, followed by PALACE-CHAN.)

Goten, morosely, sympathetically: You're finally awake. You feeling okay?

Trunks: What? Why did you tie me to this chair, h-how did you even-

Goten: CALM DOWN. WE'RE GONNA GET THROUGH THIS TOGETHER, BUDDY.

(Palace covers her eyes briefly at the rising emotion, feeling the strain of sadness.)

Trunks: WHAT? What's going on, man?!

(Goten and Palace-chan take a seat.)

Goten, trying to keep a cork on his feelings: It's okay. We just wanna talk to you. That's why I brought you here.

Trunks: Did you knock me out and tie me to a chair, dude?

Goten, coming uncorked, standing: I HAD TO, DUDE! YOU WERE GETTING OUT OF CONTROL!

(Palace rises to comfort him and return him to his seat.)

Palace: Honeybear, please.

Goten: I'm sorry. Okay. I'm good. Thank you. I love you.

Palace: I love you too.

Trunks: What is this about

Goten: I brought you here so we can ... talk about the spiral you've been on lately.

Trunks: The what?

Goten: Your drinking.

Trunks: My WHAT ?

Goten: You're always going out. Just last Thursday you went out and drank a lot. Who drinks on a Thursday Trunks. A loser that's who.

Trunks: ...Are you talking about that wine tasting? Th-that was a corporate hosted event, I had to go - and I tried to INVITE YOU, remember? I invited you and Palace but you both-

Goten, standing again: THAT'S NO EXCUSE, TRUNKS! Our point is that your drinking has gotten out of hand!

Trunks: WHAT DRINKING ?

Palace, almost succumbing to tears: I hate who you are when you drink.

Goten: That's- that's a good point Palace- (approaching to mollify her, placing his hands around her shoulders delicately) This is a good segway into the note you wrote. Trunks we've prepared some words for you.

Trunks: IS THIS A FUCKING INTERVENTION ?

Palace, reading: I love you but I don't like who you are when you drink. I don't like it when you come home drunk.

Trunks, interrupting: WHEN do I come home DRUNK?

Palace, crinkling the paper in sudden expression: THAT'S MY POINT! YOU NEVER COME HOME!! WHO KNOWS WHERE YOU GO..?? (Crying) (Goten is rubbing her shoulders)

(A/N Trunks does not formally live with them and is just not there every night. Because he's in his bed. In Capsule Corp.)

Goten: Hey, you did really good. That was really brave. You have a lot of courage.

Palace, drying her tears: Okay. You read yours now.

Goten, sitting back down, pulling out a sheet of paper: Okay. Dear Trunks. I hate it when you drink. It's counterintuitive to everything we've built our lives upon. Your body is a temple and you're built like Adonis and I can't stand to see you poison yourself. We're martial artists. I can't sit back and watch you poison your beautiful body.

Trunks: Okay well that makes some sense. But Goten. What about all those party drugs you did in your frat years? Am I meant to tie you to a chair about that?

Goten: Well it would be NICE if you CARED enough to!!!!

Palace, reaching over to rub his arm: Don't let him get to you. You said this would happen. Stay on topic.

Goten: Okay. You're right. Thank you. Trunks this isn't about me this is about you. And it's also about us. DRINKING IS SOMETHING YOU DO WITH YOUR BUDDY TRUNKS!!! SO WHO ARE YOU DRINKING WITH??! SOMEONE NEW???

Trunks: I DON'T KNOW, THE DISTRICT MANAGERS ???!!

I don't know how to end this post

[x-rambles]

Saturday, November 4, 2023

Ugh I've been meaning to journal when I feel some type of way...

Babe, I cannot believe. A car?? You have a car, and you have a house....It's definitely extremely complex...because honestly, you are that girl. I mean I remember, there have been times where you had stuff, where you were blessed, and thank the Lord for those..that's what this is giving. But honestly, you always knew work. And work is what you're knowing now...like it's good to have opportunities, its beautiful, there's nothing more amazing. And it's important that I balance my gratitude with discipline. Babe, you are doing SO MUCH right now! You're doing okay. You're really seeing that "amazing at one thing while garbage someplace else" HEAVY...butt it is balanced, which is good. UGh, girl your relationship. It's honestly getting crazy. It's also interesting to see how the car changes things. At the end of the day, cmon, it's clear this man is open to providing for you. There's these nuances and technicalities screwing with things now. Like, okay you don't have as many resources right now to be as giving back as you'd like....okay ya he's pushing himself in ways where he may not have as much resources as he would like to...it's interesting it's like we're both in this crazy building mode. It's like we're literally building a rocket together. This must sort've be what the movies are like. During the montages. The montages go so fast, and its life it's not that fast. In life, the lows are not brief seconds that pass us by. In life, the highs are flashes of wonder that feel unimaginable. But honestly, for me, it's a flash. It felt beautiful driving down the road, driving in MY car. But I had to drive to my responsibilities. I was problem-solving and writing to-do lists. But I also picked up some candies, and a crystal heart to put on my bookshelf.

That is a wonder. Looking at the Chrystal heart it is truly GORGEOUS. It's gorgeous and I picked it up because I had the flexibility now...I mean, the wrong name was on it when I was there, so I had to leave, but I WENT--And my love drove me there to grab it with the correct name!

Ught, my love. We've been fighting all week! It's wonderful that we got to talk today...in the car, about our feelings. I get so frustrated, I get so down, and then he pays for my car to be fixed..it's crazy because he did set a boundary explaining the car is my responsibility...but he built me an office, hes helping with my car, he is unreal...It's loaded as he does want things, and want more. And I do try, and I am overwhelmed. That's what I was getting at earlier. It's like we're building a rocket, but one day we will blast into the stars. I feel like I'm grinding for what is to COME. I feel like it will always be work but it will change. I feel like this evolution could catapult things. It's big, ya know!

Ugh, we all know I need to journal more...I haven't been journalling all year fr with all the grinding...I really pray these days, that these times will lead to my retirement. I really pray that this SWEAT, this WORK, will lead to mornings filled with activity, laughter, and learning. I hope it leads into a beautiful home to build together, that I will continue to grow humble, and balanced, and working--in order to develop into the woman that I will need to be for that season. That I will wake up early, and I will have a late nightt, putting in the hours, and thinking, about intentionally building my family, about having and creatinig experiences, about connection. Lord, I am freedom dreaming once again this is on my heart. So many other dreams, have been on my heart. I've been in my dreams, in my apartment, in my baddie, cute girl era, I have seen what the Lord has had in store for me, and I see it again. I feel it in my heart God, the day when resources are plentiful, and cycling, doubling, and compounding. When generosity and love can be the focus, and I begin to look at others and remember my journey--I have seen it Lord, I have had it on my heart, I have seen it and wanted it, I have prayed it, and journaled it, and then WATCHED it Lord. I am struggling, but I KNOW dreams exist. I know DREAMS come true. I know YOU are in control. What is on my heart is because of you, what is my next move is because of you as I am created in YOUR vision Father God.

Lord, I am tired, I am a bit lunchy, and I may need some rest..some rest for an early morning. So much is transpiring, but here we are...all day long.

Love Absolutely, and Always XoXo C