#always blame the watchers
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enderwoah · 2 years ago
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absolutely in shock and awe at how all three of the bad boys' curses went off and remained unbroken in one episode. jimmy's canary curse, grian's 'kills the person he cares most about' curse (as he was the person to suggest that jimmy should push off the tnt minecart; also killed jimmy like three times), and joel's end-game madness curse. like we were all so hopeful for some reason that THIS would be the season where it all ends but no. business as usual. jimmy's dead, grian's sad, and joel is mad. and also dead.
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moonlightspencie · 7 months ago
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by the way, to all of my fellow shane madej fans who don’t want to believe a person we all really liked FOR his seeming relatability and shit would think the paywall was a great idea… check out his wife’s tumblr.
sara states that “paying people fairly and making a survivable living while making cool things is hard”. survivable. while they’re living in LA more-than-likely not having to worry about if they’ll be able to afford groceries or car payments or medication each month (if steven lim’s published lifestyle is any proof of what kind of money those boys are making.)
sorry, folks, but we can’t absolve shane of blame with this, no matter how tempting it may be to think he would never betray what he’s said or insinuated his values are.
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katyspersonal · 5 months ago
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@val-of-the-north when my brain shut down from simping for Midra too hard, to the point I can only babble something incomprehensible, am drooling, am incapable of sleeping tonight and even can't think about lore despite the fact that normally not even serious illnesses can stop me from loredigging:
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sskk-manifesto · 8 months ago
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MITCHELL AKUTAGAWA EPISODE!!!!!!!!!!
#MITCHELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#///AND/// AKUTAGAWA EPISODE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! And Yosano and Kenji spotlight too. Episode written precisely for my personal liking#Too bad no Atsushi then it would have been perfect (╥﹏╥) At least we got his voice in the episdoe preview#Alright I **LOVE** Mitchell. This is not the space to talk about it properly but I just really like how flawed she is‚#but also in a way that results funny and endearing. And I love love love how much she cares about her family and is loyal to it!!!#It makes her so noble and virtuous. I know she has so little screentime but really the way she's so harsh and in apparence self-absorbed–#But in reality so kind and altruistic... The way her hearsh ways are implied to be only a consequence of a life of struggles and her will–#to save her family's name through a noble behavior and appearance too... It makes her so complex and multilayered imo#AND just how her innate tendency to defend people spans out of her family too!!!!#In my interpretation she did NOT care for Hawthorne or like him. But she still gave her life for him because she just instinctively–#protects the people around her. I don't have any strong feelings for haw/mitch but like how to blame Hawthorne I would have–#fallen for her right that istant too.#Now to Akutagawa. I'm really endeared by this episode because I'm pretty sure that's when I started sympathizing with / liking him :')#Like that's the moment when the things Dark Era showed us and the canon Akutagawa behavior click together and the watcher goes “Oh. OH.”#At least I'm pretty sure it was for me. It's bittersweet but especially sweet.#One more thing is... Wow bsd really has been like *that* since the beginning hasn't it. It's kinda silly to think back to all the criticism#the latest arc got now.#The criticism regarding how the ridiculously high stakes have been solved seemingly effortlessly in a way that resulted very anticlimatic??#That's ALWAYS been there. “Oh no the ada is done for if they found out our base!!” *holds literally ZERO consequences*#“Oh no the Guild is done for if they destruct Zelda!!” *holds literally ZERO consequences*#“Oh no the Guild knows were our clerk is!!” *holds near to ZERO consequences*#And#“Oh no Akutagawa died!” “Oh no half world population was tuned in vampires!” “Oh no Fukuchi obtained One Order!”#“Oh no Chuuya is a vampire siding against Dazai!”#It's really the same‚ isn't it?#But like‚ we're still glad all of it happened right? Because it makes the experience enjoyable lol.#It's really about enjoying the ride I suppose.#I have more to ramble about but I've ran out of tags so I'll be doing it on my main blog reblog later#random rambles
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fisgon-fisgon · 2 years ago
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can't wait to go back to being the protagonist in my life
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ohnonotthehorrors · 1 year ago
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Life series lore is insane, but especially if you take most of the ‘understood’ Watcher and Listener lore out.
Because here’s the thing, I love ‘the watchers are just the audience’ and ‘Grian used to be a watcher’ and ‘they Pushed Jimmy!’ As much as anyone else. But there is something so much more terrifying about them never being there.
You are trapped in a loop of death, where dying is treated like a Game, where the world Ending is treated like a game. And there is no one to blame.
You’re neighbor turns on you, angry and vicious, and there was no possession. There were no voices in their head.
You wake up in a ring of people that are your closest friends, your greatest enemies, the only real beings you have ever met, and you are going to kill them all or be killed by them before the year is up. There is no one that put you there. There is no one to fight.
You are here of your own volition. You have known nothing else. It’s always been this way. The universe itself is keeping you here.
(There is no reward to winning. There is no escape when this is all there is. It is just all of you and you’re own bloody hands clutching each others)
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grandline-fics · 3 months ago
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Can I just say I LOVE your writting? 'cause I do! And I'm so happy requests are open! 🥹 Here I am wondering if you can indulge little old me with a request. I went through your prompts and picked two! If you can combine them, I'd be delighted! If not, it's okay!
Here:
Jealousy fuelled kiss with the sentence:
"Do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now?"
My request is a Fem reader and I would love to read Ace, Zoro and Law, if you don't mind! Throw in more if you'd like, I always love me some feral Kid, for instance... But whatever tickles your fancy! I just like some jealous boys! 🤭😋
Thank you again for sharing your gift! 🫶🏻❤️
DESCRIPTION: Prompt: Jealousy fuelled kiss w/ “Do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now?”
WARNINGS: jealousy! but nothing else apart from that
CHARACTERS: Ace, Zoro, Law, Kid, Rob Lucci
WORDS: 3,531
A/N: Thank you for this request! I added Kid for you and also did one for Lucci because why not haha. I tried to make each scenario different and interesting and I hope you like what I came up with.
*REQUESTS ARE OPEN*
DIRECTORY | PROMPT LIST
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ACE
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“Do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now?” You looked over in the mirror in front of you to see Ace appear in the doorway, arms folded and pout heavy on his lips. You let out a satisfied laugh and finished getting ready for a night out on the island the Moby Dick had just docked at. As you adjusted your outfit-the one Ace loved you in the most- you noticed how his hands twitched. You could tell he wanted nothing more than to close the distance and do exactly what he’d just confessed and ordinarily you would have let him. However tonight was different and Ace only had himself to blame. Earlier in the evening just before you’d gone to get ready you made a comment about hoping Ace wouldn’t be as flirtatious with the locals this time. He in turn responded with an idle wave of his hand and a comment that. “It’s just harmless babe, you know you’re the only one I want.”
While you knew that was true, the fact that Ace hadn’t even taken a second to consider how you felt was what annoyed you. You weren’t even asking him to stop flirting with others since it sometimes worked in the crew’s favour, you just wanted him to tone it down a little. So after that comment you’d told Ace that from now until you both returned to the ship you were both to pretend you weren’t a couple and you could also flirt with the locals too. Ace had initially grinned and shrugged, happy to play along since it was only flirting and you’d be his again when you both returned to the ship at the end of the night. His grin dropped though when you reminded him that this meant he wasn’t allowed to kiss or touch you at all.
The harsh reality of the situation hit him hard when it was less than hour had passed in the bar and he could barely concentrate on those he was talking to. Try as he might to be laid back as normal he couldn’t help but have his gaze pulled towards you every time the smallest movement occurred in your direction. You’d drawn plenty attention when you’d arrived and he’d expected it. Ace had always counted himself the luckiest man alive you have been the one you chose and jealousy was a foreign feeling to him so to feel it now was unsettling. Over and over he’d reminded himself that it didn’t mean anything. 
Then he heard you laugh and watched when the person talking to you stepped just a little closer. At the same time, the glass in his hand exploded and he looked at his hand engulfed in fire and slight scorch marks on the table. Ace rose and handed money to the barman to cover the cost of the minor damages before stepping out into the cool air to clear his head. He got as far as the fountain in the town-square and sat down, closing his eyes. “Not as easy to be on the watcher’s side is it?”
Ace turned his head sharply to see you sitting down beside him. Immediately he wasted no time in leaning forward. With his fingers pinching your chin and free hand sliding into your hair he claimed your lips, pulling you dizzyingly into one of the most intense and fiery kisses he’d ever given you. Surprised, you managed to recover and return the kiss with equal fervour while letting your boyfriend dictate the pace until you felt you couldn’t breathe. Finally you reluctantly pulled back just enough to catch your breath while Ace pressed more kisses against your jaw and throat. “Lesson learned.” He rasped against your skin, lifting his head to smirk at you. “Jealousy sucks.”
“I dunno…” you laughed, securing your hands on his shoulder and chest. “Has its uses if I get more kisses like that.”
ZORO
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Zoro normally has no problem voicing his own thoughts. Someone’s being a moron? He’ll tell them to shut up and get out of his way. Someone fought fiercely and strong enough to earn his praise? He’ll do so and even make it a point to name something specific he witnessed to ensure them he is being genuine. Zoro prided himself in being upfront and unfortunately he had to call himself a fucking coward. Because he just couldn’t bring himself to tell you how he felt and anytime he considered it, he backed out just as fast. Instead he had to subject himself to the self-inflicted torture of being close with you but not in the way he fully wanted while also trying to convince himself that he only sees you as a friend because at the moment that’s all he can see you being with him.
“That drink say something to piss you off or something?” Zoro glanced out of the corner of his good eye to see Nami appear and lean against the railing he was also using to brace himself against. “You’ve been glaring at it instead of drinking it and I got concerned.”
“Nothin’ to bother yourself about.” He answered gruffly, forcing his gaze to look out at the lower section of the deck and sipped his drink as if to prove her worry wrong. Though now he had to look at the one thing he’d been trying to avoid; you talking and laughing with the others.
“You should just tell them how you feel already.” Nami hummed, her knowing smirk hidden by the rim of her glass. “Better do it soon too before your chance disappears.”
“Dunno what you’re talking about.” Zoro tried to sound casual but her second remark had made him tense. “Definitely don’t know what you mean about my chance either.”
“Oh please, most of us know you have a feelings for them, we’re just shocked you never made a move yet.” Nami kept her gaze steady on the swordsman, trying to get him to finally see sense. “But now Sanji’s patience has run out. Says if you’re going to be such a coward about it all he’ll finally do what he’s wanted to for ages.”
“Hah!?” Zoro shouted a little too loudly, even drawing the attention of the group below. You looked up at Zoro curiously, watching as he abruptly looked away from the collective stare to focus on Nami with a harsh stare, turning his body slightly to face her. “What’s that shit cook think he’s planning? When the fuck did he call me a coward? I’m gonna slice his smug face off.”
“Wow…for a second there I’d think you were jealous at the thought of them actually falling for Sanji’s charm.” Zoro scoffed and rolled his eyes. The only charm the cook had in his opinion would barely fill a thimble. There was no way you’d fall for that over the top, dramatic, overused nonsense that he threw at anyone with a pulse. Would you? 
Cautiously Zoro looked down at the scene again and his face contorted in disgust to see Sanji’s arm loosely over your shoulder as the two of you laughed at something Usopp was telling the group. Feeling his stare, Sanji glanced up and smirked at Zoro, lightly squeezing your shoulder in affection to you but in also brazen challenge to Zoro. Sharply Zoro turned on his heel and walked down the small staircase, approaching you silently. You looked up at Zoro with a smile, excited that he was finally going to join you all but your smile lessened and became a look of concern to see how serious he was. You were about to ask if he was okay but he spoke first. “I need to talk to you in private.”
Immediately you got to your feet. You knew Zoro well enough to understand he was a man of few words and if he needed to speak to you in private then it was serious. Silently you followed him below deck, only stopping when he felt he was a safe enough distance away from the nosy crewmates left above. You let the seconds tick by, allowing Zoro take his time in voicing his thoughts but seeing him so tense made you worry. Gently you lay your hand on his arm in a way to reassure him that you were there. A gasp left you as Zoro turned suddenly and pulled you against him. His hand fell to your waist as he stared at your parted lips with growing hunger.
“Do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now?” The words dropped from his mouth barely a whisper but he was so close each syllable lightly grazed your skin. Unable to speak you could only nod in consent and sank headlong into the kiss Zoro secured on your lips.
LAW
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When Law was captivated by his research, medical procedures, and all over Captain duties, you had to take it upon yourself to keep yourself busy. Normally that was no issue when you were on the Polar Tang and had your own duties and routine to occupy your mind with. This time was different. After running into the Strawhat crew on Punk Hazard you could only sit back and watch as Law proposed an alliance with the rival crew in order to take down one of the four Emperors. You’d been taken by surprise seeing as your Captain and boyfriend didn’t tend to play well with others who weren’t on his crew. Quickly you saw him begin to regret his offer when events began to unfold and Law found himself being dragged along by Strawhat’s whims rather than his planned course of action. 
Everything had worked out in the end though and now you and Law were on the Thousand Sunny, set for Dressrosa. Even though Law wasn’t on his own ship, he quickly made himself at home in the ship’s library and began to indulge in the large collection of books now at his disposal. Knowing you wouldn’t see him anytime soon you had to explore the ship for something to catch your attention since according to the allied crew you were a guest on board and didn’t need to do chores. It went against your nature. You wanted to help and be useful so you still offered each day you were on board. “Aren’t you tired wearing that all the time?”
You turned at the sound of Nami’s voice and immediately you looked down at your boiler suit. It was your normal clothing for the Polar Tang so you really hadn’t considered wearing anything else. Plus being on another crew’s ship it made you feel more at home, unable to stop yourself from missing the others that you knew you would reunite with at some stage. Casually you shrugged and smiled at the red-haired woman. “It’s comfy.”
Apparently that wasn’t a good enough answer because the next thing you knew, Nami had you dragged to her room and was throwing clothes at you to try on while telling you that you were far too good looking to hide everything under so much fabric. Mostly you went along with her whims because it would be a way of taking up your unending free time on the ship. Another part of you also got drawn into how nice some of the clothes felt and looked and it was harmless fun.
Law finally dragged himself from his spot in the library and stretched out his stiff limbs. Despite his medical knowledge, he still ended up sitting in the most unwise positions that would leave his back aching and neck tensed. With a groan he made his way out onto the deck only to stagger to a halt when he saw you wearing something completely different to what he was used to you wearing but he was in no way complaining. He loved how you looked regardless but you were breathtaking. His adoration for you was suddenly soured when he saw the others fawning over you. The cook he had no issue with, but to see the sniper blushing and even the swordsman openly talking to you made him glare. Then Strawhat had to push his luck too. “You’re so great! You know you should stay on my crew!”
Law’s room activated and you were promptly swapped to now be pressed close against Law’s side. Before you could reprimand your boyfriend for being rude you were pulled below deck to the library once more and pushed against the door as it closed. You looked up at Law with widened eyes and quickened heart rate, the look in his eyes making your mouth dry and skin warm.
“It’s bad enough that I see you looking so good. I mean do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now?” He began lowly and you shuddered slightly. “But then I have to see them trying to get too close to you and Strawhat thinking he’s worthy of having you? Ridiculous.”
Law quickly closed the distance, using his frustration and jealousy to spur him on, kissing you passionately.
KID
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Kid had no problem with people looking at you appreciatively. I mean, why wouldn’t they? Look at you. It was clear to anyone with any sense in their skulls that you were one of the hottest people about. For him to see the looks you deserved filled him with a smug sense of pride because you only had eyes for him. He was the lucky bastard that got you all to himself in the ways that it mattered. So they could take their pathetic glimpses and live with the fantasy of picturing what it was like to be with you because he got the real thing. However what he didn’t like was to watch anyone to touch you in a way that wasn’t friendly. 
On this occasion he sat in the darkened corner of a bar having to watch as you were being talked to by some drunken lech. You’d gone to the bar to collect the next round of drinks for the crew when someone approached. At first Kid had shook his head and smirked at the poor fool’s attempt to flirt but then he drew too close to you that Kid disliked. Still he knew you could handle yourself so he just had to grind his teeth and wait for you to expertly disengage yourself like you normally did. However you seemed drawn into the conversation with this man and Kid’s eyes narrowed. 
Immediately he stood with the intent on breaking things up but stopped when you quickly met his gaze. When the drunk turned his head to order another drink you had time to mouth ‘Marine’ to your boyfriend. Kid remained standing and glanced at the man warily, now seeing why you were being careful with him. Slowly he drew closer, making sure his movements were careful and silent while you kept the Marine’s attention effortlessly. Kid knew it was an act but seeing you indulge the man more made his anger grow. Just as Kid stepped behind the Marine, he drunk set his hand on your thigh and squeezed it while leaning closer to your face. “Do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now?”
Kid had planned to just give the bastard one quick hit to knock him out but seeing that and hearing the words spill from his mouth, he snapped. Reeling his metal arm back, he tapped the Marine on the shoulder. When he turned, his hulking fist connected with the man’s face sending him launching off his feet and slamming painfully against the bar’s wall with the impact smashing the glasses and bottles. Seeing the Marine slumped on the floor helped Kid’s pent up rage but it wasn’t enough. Quickly he grinned at you and pulled you into his arms so he could throw you over his shoulder and leave the bar, no longer in the mood to drink. You stayed happily on Kid’s broad shoulder with a growing smirk as you listened to his jealous mutterings the closer you drew to the ship. 
When you were finally set on your feet on the ship you turned in Kid’s hold that he refused to let you out of and smiled up at him expectantly. When Kid got like this you could practically time the sequence of events and this was your favourite part. Kid stooped down and with a low groan kissed you, devouring your taste and consuming your thoughts with only him while letting your magnetic presence and intoxicating touch leave him wanting more. You were the only one for him and by the morning should anyone look your way in appreciation again they’d spot some pretty marks on your neck to admire too.
LUCCI
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Lucci was a master of his emotions for the most part. He could adopt a personality and live it perfectly for the purposes of a mission and then discard it when it was finished. He could keep his true nature at bay should he need it but in the freedom of Cipher Pol’s base he can just be himself. With powerful strides he walks down the corridors only to stop outside one of the training rooms in time to see you land a kick against Jabra’s stomach. Quickly he recovered and sent an attack your way. You managed to dodge it in time but Jabra caught you by surprise by sending a followup attack and knocked you to the ground, his hand at your throat to keep you pinned down.
For a moment you let your body go slack in a sign of surrender and the second you felt Jabra’s grip loosen you acted, disentangling out of his hold and attacked, taking advantage of his moment of surprise. Just as you were getting into the rhythm of the fight another agent appeared beside Lucci. “Jabra! We have a mission! Did you forget or something?”
You and Jabra paused your fight and you scowled at your sparring partner. You wouldn't have asked him to train with you had you known he would have to cut it short for a mission that he apparently knew about. Jabra briefly glanced at Lucci and quickly threw his arm around your waist before answering his mission partner. “Nah, didn’t forget. I just got a much better offer.” his wolfish grin spreading when he spotted Lucci’s eyes narrow at the comment. You however rolled your eyes and stepped out of the older agent’s hold. “We’ll pick this up when I get back, right?”
“We’ll see.” You told him dismissively which only earned you a quick wink before he left, leaving you alone in the training room with Lucci who remained leaning against the door, looking at his shoulder in disgust when Jabra had the nerve to brush past him on his exit.
“Didn’t know your standards were so low when picking a sparring partner.” He noted, watching you critically. You tilted your head at him curiously and slowly smirked. 
“I’ll be fighting degenerates and unsavoury people out in the field, I wanted someone as close to that as possible for authentic training purproses.” You explained with a light shrug. “Jabra fits that closely, don't you think?”
Lucci allowed himself a low chuckle and pushed away from the doorframe, while pulling the door closed behind him to grant you both a moment of privacy. Your relationship with Lucci was one ou both didn’t feel like putting a real label on. For now you merely enjoyed the physical and social benefits it brought. You remained still as you watched him approach, your eyes alight with interest and mischief that not even he could find himself immune to. “I can see the logic but I can smell that filthy mutt all over you.”
��Jealous?"
“I don't get jealous.” Lucci growled, his hand setting on your waist, merely a coincidence that his hand covered the precise spot Jabra had touched. Your lips twitched into a disbelieving smile and you playfully nodded, pretending to accept his claim. Lucci’s free hand reached up to skim along your throat, again pure coincidence at the placement before he curled his fingers under your jaw to coax you to tilt your head up. “Do you have any idea how much I want to kiss you right now to get rid of that mutt’s stench?”
“Then do it, Chief.” You said stepping a tiny bit closer. “Let Jabra come back and know for sure that I’m a cat person.” 
With a growl Lucci kissed you possessively, hungrily with purpose of doing just as you suggested. His main goal was to wipe any lingering trace of Jabra from your skin and wipe the other man’s name from your mind. He was very aware that you didn’t see the wolf man that way but still it brought out that animalistic conflict in him, the need to be better than him and from your reactions to his kiss he knew for sure that Lucci was the clear winner.
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giamee · 3 months ago
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🌺 ᯓ★୭ ˚. ᵎᵎ
𝐒𝐀𝐕𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔𝐑 𝐓𝐄𝐀𝐑𝐒 𝐅𝐎𝐑 𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐑 𝐃𝐀𝐘!
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STARRING. ノ dan heng
request. ノ anon: helloo if it's right up your alley, could you do a danheng x reader hanahaki au? one where the reader thinks he and someone else have something going on given how caring danheng is through that stoic face of his! but really, danheng is just too kind and you're much too caught up with your own feelings
word count. ノ 3.4k
contains. ノ hanahaki!reader, u and dan heng r both kinda dumb, angst pertaining to the hanahaki trope, you can tell how old this fic is because it's set during the jarilo-vi story quest, some unfounded jealousy of march 7th?, mentions of death and injury and some graphic descriptions of blood and illness
gia's notes. ノ this was the very first request that i ever received on this blog. over a year ago. i drafted this fic and wrote out about 70% of it then let it rot at the bottom of my drafts. anon, you have the patience of a saint if you're still here.
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THE MOMENT THAT YOU STEPPED FOOT ONTO THE ASTRAL EXPRESS, you had the sneaking suspicion that you were doomed. Your fate was set in stone as soon as you felt the hard encasing of a seed clutch the walls of your heart in a vice grip when you first laid eyes upon him.
Dan Heng was elusive. The others had been warm in their welcome, but it took the combined efforts of yourself and March 7th to find him hidden in the recesses of the train’s records room. His greeting was a mere nod in your direction before Welt required your presence again, but that’s all you needed.
His eyes were cool, practically piercing through your skin as March 7th ushered you pack to the parlour car, and you felt yourself shiver as his intense stare burned itself into the back of your head.
And while he’s intimidating, sure, that’s not why you stayed away from Dan Heng. He had a cold and callous exterior that you had never seen crack, yet all the same you had felt the start of a crush start to take root.
And this may not have been a problem at all if it weren’t for two details that were like a slap to the face for you.
One, you were fairly certain that Dan Heng had his eyes for March 7th.
And two, if your crush didn’t return your feelings, you would die.
It wasn’t a case of exaggeration, either. You had been aware of the fact that to develop feelings for someone was dangerous, as it had been drilled into you from a young age by your parents. They had gripped your hands, steering you away from other children with little more explanation than that, always chastised you for wanting to forge a human connection, keeping you isolated from the world around you, better safe than sorry.
And you had felt so alone.
Being forced to live a life in confinement was not an easy one, and despite your parents’ wishes, you had told them of your plan to to finally go out into the world, to live a life from experience and not watching it unfold as an impassive reader of a book or on your phone screen, danger be damned.
So it wasn’t really your fault that you had been so quick to develop those feelings that had been so often described in the books you read, as an explosion of butterflies erupted within you upon meeting someone else, another person for the first time.
And yet you found yourself in the same predicament- a watcher from afar. The heart wants what it wants was a bitter mantra that seemed to enjoy your misery as you watched March 7th excitedly chatter with Dan Heng, and you could have sworn the man even cracked the smallest of smiles at whatever she was saying. And really, could you blame him for it? March was kind, bubbly, outgoing- a perfect match for the stoic and seeming immovable Dan Heng.
It was more common sense than pessimism that had you concluding that you didn’t really stand a chance for his affections against someone like her. You doubt that Dan Heng even looked at you more than he had to. You, so secretive and elusive that you gave him a run for his money; and two similar poles never attracted each other. It was a funny hand that fate had dealt you, but you had to play with those cards regardless.
As if to mock you, you ducked away from the outskirts of the room, feeling a coughing fit coming. You had barely made it to your room before you doubled over, feeling your insides run ragged by the prickly thorns of the rose bush that grew inside you.
A single bloodstained petal fell into your palm.
Besides the quickly growing issue that you refused to acknowledge, life on the Astral Express wasn’t awful. You hadn’t yet confided in anyone about your condition, so to speak, and not entirely because you didn’t want to. To be completely honest with yourself, there was much that you didn’t know about it.
And so you timed it well- you waited for the subject of your affliction- for Dan Heng to leave his unofficial bedroom before you slipped through the door into the records room, desperate to find any sort of information that might help you find some sort of cure.
There was a small computer in the corner that you quickly typed your symptoms into- flower. unrequited love. coughing fits. You didn’t know if the single digit of entries was a cause for concern or not, but your brows furrowed as you began to scan through them. The number of obituary entries that were listed on this one document alone was making you shiver. You clicked out of it, about to open the next one before the door sliding open had you starting like a frightened animal.
Dan Heng strolled in, eyebrows shooting up to his hairline as he registered that you were in the room, in his room. He spoke your name, softly, as if trying not to scare you further. You would have said something, honestly, if it weren’t for the sudden explosive coughing fit that came on a lot quicker than usual.
You could barely get a word out before you were bent over from the force of your coughs, tears pricking your eyes from the newfound intensity of the pain coming from inside you. Despite your hands clasped over your mouth, a couple of petals escaped and fluttered down to the floor, some distance between you and the horrified Dan Heng.
He was frozen in place, fingers itching to reach out to you and comfort you, but with the way you practically flinched away from him, he wasn’t sure if his presence was wanted. He barely caught a glimpse of your pained face before you darted around him and back to your own room on the train.
Dan Heng scrubbed a hand over his face in frustration at his inability to act, before his attention diverted once again to the bloody petals on the floor, and the files on the record searcher that you hadn’t completely closed. He cast one last guilty glance back in your direction before heading closer to the screen and beginning to read.
The Trailblazers’ journey must progress, and your heart hammered for another reason other than a sighting of the raven-haired male who you still harboured feelings for. You had ultimately left your home to explore the world, and with the Express finally stopping at the planet Belobog- your promise to yourself was a step closer to being fulfilled. You disembarked alongside Stelle and March, doing your best to avoid Dan Heng like the plague ever since that fated day. You didn’t know how much he exactly knew, but you had no intentions of finding out.
Your plans of peaceful exploration, however, were short lived with the arrival of Silvermane guards to greet you. In the chaos of the smoke, it was not lost on you that Dan Heng had instinctively protected March, practically shielding her with his body. As Stelle dragged you along some backway path in pursuit of some mystery saviour, you felt the excruciating addition of a new thorn in your heart.
The adrenaline of the escape had worn off by now, and you could feel your secret threatening to spill over any second now. You could barely warn Stelle to let you move off to the side before you were keeled over, closer to gagging than coughing as a large ball of petals and dark, dark blood forced its way through your throat. You felt faint, barely registering the panicked calls of your name as you felt your world turn sideways, Stelle’s face and voice being quickly replaced by another deeper one, with fear in their eyes and a certain desperate edge as you felt yourself slip into unconsciousness.
It's a dreamless sleep, yet it isn't restful, judging by how you feel like you've been hit by a bus when you sit up. Every fibre of your being aches, and there's a harsh overhead light that dazzles you as you blink awake.
As your eyes grow accustomed to it, there's a surge of panic as you don't recognise your surroundings. It looks like a clinic of some sorts- and there was the cloying smell of chemicals that invaded your nostrils. You struggled to sit up, until you felt a hand place itself gently against your chest.
A dark-haired woman with a doctor's coat smiles down at you warmly, and you eye her warily.
"Who are you?"
"My name's Natasha, I'm a doctor in the Underworld. Try not to move around too much, dear. You've been unconscious for quite some time and your condition is unstable, you still need rest."
"Where's the people that I was with?"
"They've all awoken a few hours before you." She casts a quick glance at the clipboard in her hands, as if to fact check herself, giving herself a quick satisfactory nod. "Don't worry, you haven't been abandoned. They should be just outside. The young man sat by your bedside while you were unconscious only left a few minutes ago- he got whisked away by one of my... colleagues."
Your mind's racing now, wondering who she could be talking about. Hoping that it was who you thought it was. But she reiterates her request to lie back down, and you comply begrudgingly. You start to settle down, until you catch a glimpse of the mess lying atop your blankets. A visceral combination of blood and crumpled petals rest upon the fabric, and you watch the doctor's expression become grave.
"That is the unstable part of your condition that I wanted to discuss." She pulls up a chair besides you, settling neatly, hands folded in her lap. "How long have these symptoms been ailing you?"
You furrow your brows, recalling how they started a mere month or two ago, after you joined the Astral Express. After you met him.
"A couple of months." Natasha nods, a frown forming on her face again.
"Considering how quickly it has developed, I imagine that your case is rather severe." You shrug, a humourless smile on your face.
"There's not much that I can do about it, Doc."
"I'm sure that you're aware of the risks that come with a confession, but as a bystander rather than a doctor, I think that you should talk to him."
"Who?"
"The man who refused to leave your side for all of these hours."
You hoped that Natasha was right. Deciding to ignore her advice of continued bed rest, you force yourself up, walking out of the clinic in search of him. Welt was no young man, and there wasn't anyone else that came to mind based off of Natasha's description. It couldn't be anyone else than him, right?
You stumble out onto the streets of the Underworld, garnering a few odd looks from passerbys as you wander around, looking for not just Dan Heng but anyone that you recognised.
You round a corner, seeing the back of a head and clothing that looks an awful lot like him. Who you're planning to confess to. You call his name, out loud, voice a little hoarse.
And he turns, beautiful crystalline eyes meeting yours. Call it a trick of the light, but you could have sworn that they shone a tad lighter when he saw you. But your gaze drifted past him, and all bubbling hope was quelled once again in your heart as you recognised the figure of March 7th stood with him.
Of course he would be with her.
If you looked closer at the pair of them, all signs indicated an intimacy to them that made you feel sick. There was a serious look on her face, one of her hands rested against his arm, but she soon recognised you too, her face instantly perking up as she began to ran towards you, calling your name.
"You're finally awake, you're OK!" she calls out in delight, her arms wrapping around you as she practically barrels into you, threatening to knock you off balance. You stumble, returning the hug, the nausea turning to guilt as you remember how the girl has been nothing but good to you. Of course Dan Heng would harbour feelings for her, not you.
The Doctor's order was wrong.
You sigh to yourself in defeat, unwinding your arms and shooting March 7th the best smile that you could muster in the moment.
"I feel better, but I'm still feeling weak so I might go back to the clinic."
March 7th frowns, eyes scanning your figure in concern.
"Are you OK, Y/N?"
"Do you want me to walk you back?" You twitched, not even realising that Dan Heng had caught up to the pair of you. He was also looking at you with concern, and you could feel an onslaught of petals coming.
"No, it's fine, I'll go back on my own." You don't really give either of them the chance to respond, spinning on your heel and trying not to run back from where you came.
You felt... worse. Before, you had at least been able to function, but now you felt so much limper, and weaker. You cursed at yourself for allowing false hope to be instilled, just as the coughing begins. It wracks through you, so hard that you almost dry heave as you keel over, and you watch in horror as you wipe your mouth with the back of your hand and see it come back crimson.
At least the clinic was around the corner.
You barely make it inside, unable to stand up straight by this point. Natasha springs to action, helping you back into a bed, helping you through the worst of the coughing. It's so much more draining than before, and you're quick to fall into a fitful sleep.
Even unconscious, you don't get a reprieve. Even in your dreams, he's all you can think of. There's a spitting image of him stood before you, eyes soft and voice like honey as he calls out to you, hands outstretched. And you try to join him, fingers straining to touch his before you watch them turn into branches and flower before your very eyes. You look down, and it hurts, with brambles wrapping themselves around your middle. And just as fast as they grow, your new floral appendages wilt before your very eyes. Branches drooping, flowers losing their hue, and you feel yourself start to fade, his name one last desperate cry from your lips.
You wake up, tears staining your cheeks and you trembling. For a few panicked seconds, you think you're still dreaming because he is here, sat by your bed, and as he stands up to wipe your tears you shrink back in fear of turning back to branches again.
But his warm palm cups your face, solid against your trembling state, deft thumbs wiping away your tears, an uncharacteristically soft hushing and cooing coming from Dan Heng as he promises you that everything is okay now.
It's easy to believe him, with the way he moves even closer to hold you, cradle your form against his warmth, patting your hair and letting you cry until you can't any more amidst the petals on your bedsheets.
You don't know how long the pair of you stay like this, your face pressed into his chest, his heartbeat leading yours back into the range of one at rest rather than its prior pounding against your ribcage. You would stay there for the rest of time, if you had a choice, but you had to admit that the oxidation of blood and its drying against your skin was making you feel ever so slightly uncomfortable.
You clear your throat, as best as you can in your hoarse state, and Dan Heng picks up on your withdrawal as he all but flinches away from you, returning the distance that usually lies between your two bodies. But his eyes still scour your figure, your face, for any and all signs of discomfort. Like a lover would. The thought melds with the already-bitter taste of blood residing against your tongue, and you frown down at your lap. At the petals. At your pathetic form lying beneath the blanket, obscured from view.
“How long has this been happening for?” Dan Heng sounds so timid, as if he were walking on glass sheets around you. Ever since that fateful day in the records room, it felt like he had done nothing but tiptoe and tread around you, a careful dance of avoidance that you were forced to be his partner in. You sigh deeply, a hand gingerly beginning to gather the gorey sight of such beautiful pink marred by the visceral crimson that remained, not yet dried.
“I’ve had it all my life, apparently, but it only started making itself known once I joined the Astral Express.” Once I met you.
“I, um- I looked into it more. In the records.” His admission made you snap your head up to face him, cautious of his next words, whatever they may be. He looked nervous himself, with eyes that refused to meet yours and fingers that twisted into his clothes, toying with the hem of his jacket.
“I read of many such cases where people were able to make a full recovery.” He sounds so hopeful, even daring to meet your eyes, that you almost feel bad for him. It was like looking back at a past version of yourself, so hopeful for a happy ending that once sparkled in your eyes, now a dull flicker you can see when the lighting is just right.
“It’s not that simple, Dan Heng.”
“What do you mean, it said that there weren’t any later cases of symptoms returning-”
“That’s because it’s not an illness from the body.” You’re snappier than you intend to be, you see it in the way his mouth snaps shut and his throat bobs against his collar, as he sits up straighter, waiting for you to continue. “The only cure is to confess to the person that I love.”
“And why haven’t you?” His voice is barely above a murmur, and even from his place in the seat next to our bed, you hear him just fine.
“Because I’m sure that he has eyes for another.” You’ve collected all the petals in your palm by now, observing them with a dry humour as you notice that they’ve begun to wither, much like yourself. You doubt that you could go on much longer after this conversation. Part of you urges to get it over with, to confess now and let yourself bloom with one last glance upon his face.
Dan Heng must have scoured each and every record, because you didn’t need to offer an explanation of what would happen with such unrequited feelings. He’s silent again, an awkward and palpable tension as you can feel his confliction from here.
He finally manages a lame “you never know” that has you laughing, a brief reprieve before you dissolve into another coughing fit. It’s hardly something to worry about, but Dan Heng is by your side again, palm smoothing over your shoulder blades as you are wracked with coughs. You appreciate it nonetheless.
“What would happen if someone else confesses to you?” You shoot him a sideways glance, confusion written all over your features, urging him to elaborate. “What if you held no feelings for them, but they confessed to you all the same. Would that cure you?” He’s earnest now, hands scooping up your dirtied ones, clasping them in his grasp as he looked at you with stars in his eyes.
Your shrivelled heart begins to beat again.
“What- what do you mean?” Play dumb. Don’t mistake curiosity for what you desire most.
“What if I told you right here and now that I love you?” His eyes are searching yours, pleading with you for an answer that you’ve been screaming at him for so long. One that he does not have to search for, because it’s been laid there at his feet this whole time.
“I would tell you, Dan Heng, that such a confession is not unrequited.” You’re grinning now, the smile on your face growing wider and wider as you watch recognition flood his features.
And then he’s smiling too, laughing, holding you ever closer to him before he pulls away again, just to cup your face now. It’s only natural to close the distance between the two of you, lips touching his for a kiss that quickly becomes searing, welcoming a new season of heat into your body.
The thorns in your heart reside. Spring begins to bloom.
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➤ IF YOU LIKED THIS, TRY ... enjoy the silence
roommate!dan heng x reader
➤ alternatively, you can find my hsr masterlist here!
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sturniolosiphone · 26 days ago
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⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪ MDNI, angst, loose mentioning of ED, fluff⋆౨ৎ˚⟡˖ ࣪
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divider by: @issysh3ll
Sunday
“No, your body doesn’t look odd,” your mom assured you.
“Come on, sweetie, it’s the holidays. Eat some pie,” your grandmother pushed the plate towards you. But you remember what your pediatrician said when you were ten. You remember the workouts. You remember the Weight Watchers meetings. You remember growing up as a girl. You remember. You’re better now, but that doesn’t mean those feelings don’t linger.
Your boyfriend was good about it. He’d kiss your stomach and whisper how much he loved you against your skin. He’d braid words of encouragement and love into your hair. He’d sit with you in front of the mirror, picking out everything he loved about you while you stared at yourself until you were unrecognizable. “I love the freckle under your eye,” he’d whisper into your hair. “You know I love this spot right here?” he’d look up at you, head between your legs, kissing your inner thigh. “so soft, baby.” He loved you, didn’t he? He never gave you a reason to question, speculate, or wonder. But your brain was sick.
You were insecure. Jealous. Jittery. But who could blame you? You knew Chris had a substantial following but you didn’t seem to reasonably wrap your head around what that meant for you. The constant ridicule, the speculation around your relationship, the nitpicking of what you did, said and wore. It was a lot. It was always a lot.
“Take a deep breath,” you’d whisper, closing your eyes, gripping your phone, trying to forget what ‘chrissturnsgirl’ commented on your photo. Chris said it didn’t matter. He’d take your phone and delete the social media apps from it. Chris would hold you in his arms and say sorry until his lungs gave out. He felt responsible for the attention and hate aimed at you. You’d tell him he wasn’t. You’d say to him how much life he breathed into you. You’d watch as he tried to believe it, how he gripped onto the words that fell from your mouth, how he wanted to drink them in.
It wore Chris down. The constant questioning.
“Who is that? Did you talk to her a lot?” you said. At the same time, he showed you pictures of an event that he and his brothers were invited to.
“Baby, I don’t know,” he shrugs, trying to stay calm to diffuse the conversation. “She was just there and wanted a picture.” Chris looks up at you, already knowing what’s coming next. He puts his phone down on his lap. He stretches his legs out, leaning more against the couch, bracing himself.
“She was just there and wanted a picture. Still, you had no clue who she was?” you raise your eyebrows, crossing your arms as if it was some sort of shield. Chris sighed and rested his elbows on his thighs, putting his face in his hands.
“Not tonight, please.” It sounds like he’s begging you and pleading with you. You can see how his jaw tenses and how he almost curls into himself. He looks nearly scared.
You dig your nails into your arms, begging your brain to cooperate. This is Chris. This is your boyfriend. He loves you. Does he love you? “I just don’t understand why you have to always be so friendly, Chris,” you decide to say.
“You don't understand why I always have to be friendly? I’m a public figure, in case you forgot.” he looks up at you, sitting a little straighter now.
“Oh, believe me, I could never forget.” you knew this would hurt him. Why were you being mean? It’s not his fault that the fan base mistreats you. You shake off that thought. He scoffs and gets off the couch.
“Yup, and you never let me forget it,” he mumbles, heading towards the fridge. You don’t know how, but your shaky legs follow him.
“And what exactly is that supposed to mean, Chris?” you stand on the other side of the table. He puts his drink down, closes his eyes, and takes a deep breath.
“Let’s just…never mind…”
You can tell he’s holding back. He’s trying not to fight with you. Why are you pushing it? “No, I'd love to know exactly what you meant by that,” you huff. His demeanor changes at that moment. He’s less guard. His eyes look cold, almost detached.
“It means I’m fucking tired of this. God, it never ends, huh? I can’t do anything right! You can’t just throw your insecurities on me and expect me to carry them” his voice is raw. You stand there shocked. “And then this?” his voice cuts right through you.  “You stand there and act surprised. How could this possibly be affecting me, right?” he shakes his head.
“I don’t know what else you want from me, what else I could offer you. I’m faithful to you; I’m in love with you…god, I love you so much, but how can you not trust me?” he looks at you, distraught.
“I do tr-“ he cuts you off.
“You don’t. You don’t trust me. And I’m at my wit's end here,” he sighs. You go to open your mouth, but nothing comes out. He’s at his wit's end? “Baby, I wanna help you. Trust me, I do, but this..this isn’t fair to me, you know?” he rubs his face with his hands.
Isn’t he right? Doesn’t he attempt to make any change necessary to make you comfortable? He doesn’t have a passcode on his phone, although you’d never go through it, but he told you he wanted you to understand he has nothing to hide.
Didn’t he unfollow everyone that made you uncomfortable without question? Without a single word? He did. And you knew he’d do it a million times over. Chris is surrounded by beautiful women all of the time because of the line of his work, but he still looks at you as if you were the only one to exist to him. This wasn’t fair, and you knew it.
“I don’t like yelling at you. I’d rather die than yell at you, but this is wearing me out.” he sits at the table. You walk over to him, kneel before him, putting your head on his lap.
“I’m sorry,” you whisper tearfully. You feel his hand go through your hair, and his body relaxes. “You don’t deserve this, Chris. I just…I just get messed up, and my brain forgets who you are. The kind of person you are,” you sniffle.
“I shouldn’t have blown up on you like that, baby. I don’t know what came over,” he says with a heavy sigh.
“No, you were right. I needed to hear it. This isn’t fair to you.” you look at him with red-brimmed eyes. “I’ll do better,” you whisper, and he smiles a little.
“Here, come sit on my lap so you’re not on your knees,” he says, helping pull you up and sitting you across his lap. “Better?” he smiles at you, and you nod. “I’m sorry too,” he whispers, touching your face to wipe away your tears. “But we gotta work on this. I don’t like that you feel so lowly about yourself and could question my love for you. I adore you; you’re my baby. I will do anything, okay? If you need therapy, I will come to every session and wait in the car. If you think journaling will help, I’ll buy any journal you want. Anything, baby. You just gotta talk to me.” his eyes scan your face.
“I think therapy could help. I used to go when I was younger, and it did help,” you say, your voice hopeful.
“Yeah?” he smiles. “We can look into it tomorrow. Look, I know this is a lot for you. I see that you receive immense hate for being my girlfriend, and I’m sorry if I minimized that earlier. You’re strong, and I’m very proud of you.” he kisses your cheek.
“Thank you, Chris.” Your cheeks heat up from the compliment. “I am pretty strong, aren't I?” you wiggle your eyebrows.
“Oh, just the strongest girl I know.” he tickles your side, making you laugh. “Want me to run us a bath, baby?” he rubs your back, soothing you. “We can relax a little before bed, and I’ll even rub your feet because I feel so bad for yelling at you,” he chuckles.
“I’d love that,” you smile. 
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diorcities · 8 months ago
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⠀   ⠀ ── ᰥ ๋ 🚀 ̯࣪ ⭒ playing videogames together !
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nct dream sfw headcanon. fluff, crack. so late for the hype only up had a couple of months ago but anywayyy. cleaning my drafts. mdni. library.
⠀ ୭ 🧷 ♡: only up — haechan.
jokes on you just for thinking you were going to remotely get near his pc, because this is a gameplay. he gets cocky pretty quick when he's playing. “don't worry, sweetheart. you get to play when i lose,” he'd say with an arrogant tone; he never loses. he also whines your name because you get in the way.
he'd probably brag about finishing the game in record time just to impress you.
he's a pain in the ass, honestly; his game nights sum up to him playing and you watching him play which you don't mind that much since you get to snuggle with him on his gaming chair. the truth is that he likes to annoy you, but he does it with love; after all, his computer is full of games he has downloaded just because he knows they are your favorites.
⠀ ୭ 🧷 ♡: bread and fred — mark.
“yo, i almost got it!” he'd take his head in his hands, sullen. “mark! oh, my god!” constant yelling at each other but on the inside you love each other. you think you're having a good time but the truth is mark's about to burst into flames; he's the worst gaming pal ever, but it's okay because you love him. “babe, c'mon, focus.” he gets so sulky sometimes.
a lot of nervous laughter when he messes up. would suggest playing spiderman because he's sure he'd be good in that one although there is some chance that he might be terrible at that too. pouts a lot and blames himself, causing you to stop the game and comfort him; just as he planned.
his exclamations would make the moment enjoyable and fun even if you have more defeats than victories.
⠀ ୭ 🧷 ♡: detroit become human — jisung.
so chill and cozy when playing games. jisung is so the opposite of haechan; video game afternoons with him are calm and peaceful. “you forgot a clue earlier, babe.” the best playmate in the world. mainly because he only wants to cuddle with his pretty girl, and since you're always moving around with episodes of hyperactivity, he found playing was the only way you'd stay still.
his hands innocently rubbing your tummy would make you lose your concentration. you won't be so happy with it, “ji, we're in a serious business right now, hello?” and it would end up with him nervously laughing on your neck “i swear i'm not doing it on purpose.” (he's in fact, doing it on purpose). actively participates in what is happening so he can be forgiven for being a puckish goofball.
he comments a lot during your gameplay and gives you advice on what to do when you need help.
⠀ ୭ 🧷 ♡: call of duty — chenle.
it's all laugh until it doesn't. i mean, take this seriously or receive a silent treatment. he's pretty chill until the team starts to lose, so you better man up. “no more funsies, bon bon,” he'd say before teaching you some 101, prayers for you to learn fast. this is a job, a lifestyle, like a life or death situation; he can't let ningning know she's better than you under any circumstances, he'll teach you to be a pro if that means rewarding you with kisses when you do well.
he's the scariest of all. full concentration. even the way he speaks becomes severe. if you happen to be nervous about disappointing him and he notices it, he'd pause the game to make sure you're okay, and probably joke about how bad you are at it.
“that's my girl!” kisses between victories “don't get used to it, tho” he doesn't want to spoil you. but... if it keeps you motivated, sure he will.
⠀ ୭ 🧷 ♡: ds games — jaemin.
more a watcher than a player. he likes to listen to you rant about a game you played when you were younger. it's so relaxing hearing your voice he falls asleep while you're talking. “oh, did i fall asleep? i was just resting my eyes.” “jae, you were snoring...” try to fix it with guilt tripping you because your voice's calm, yada, yada, “can you blame me, angel?” afternoons with him are peaceful, laying on his bed while you play cooking games and naming pokemons like they're your pets.
it becomes fun because he's very bad even at games that don't have difficulty levels. you're surprised at how bad he is, but you actually find it cute that he at least tries it for you.
⠀ ୭ 🧷 ♡: dayz — jeno.
he knows you're not good at it so he takes it pretty chill. the most understanding boyfriend, although it annoys you a little that he doesn't have competitiveness; he just wants to find a hobby that both of you like. friendly matches even when you guys lose on the battle royale cause you both suck. “gosh, not even two minutes in and we're out...” he teaches you how to play but it's only an excuse for you to sit on his lap while you're at it. he, in fact, chose it because he thought you would get scared of the zombies and would cuddle with him.
he's the one who suggests kisses between victories... and then suggests it every time you run into a zombie. he's the type to get obsessed with a game you recommend him so he can impress you when you play it together.
⠀ ୭ 🧷 ♡: mario party — renjun.
you're his known enemy. no friendly matches here, like for real. this is a win or a-win situation. the type who would do the silent treatment if you allowed yourself to lose to haechan. pushing the buttons furiously as if it actually did something, and putting all his energy into making body motions into the games as if it adds points if he's extra. “you're laughing?” “no, honey.” you are. he looks bite-sized and makes all this fuss.
you actually envy his passion. he's the best option when playing in pairs because he's the mastermind. making all the strategy moves. any ounce of shame when he takes your game controller and plays for you. it's not even funny anymore, but in renjun we trust.
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excalibur-gone-missing · 7 months ago
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Paring: jeonghan x fem!reader
Genre: fluff, 70's au, little to no angst
warnings: none, maybe a few swear words here and there
summary: Jeonghan might be a cocky bastard but when it comes to you he will turn the world upside down, or so he claims.
words: 2k
a/n: I request each and every one of you to comment on this fic don't be a silent reader it helps me as an author to understand my readers and i would love to communicate with all of you. Constructive criticism is always welcomed by me so do talk about this fic or send me an ask.
a/n 2: i heard a podcast and it made me want to write this fic because the love story of the two hosts was sooo damn cutee.
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You knew Jeonghan from when you were literally a kid.
His father had moved to your city after a presentation from little Jeonghan on how to make a pocketknife using ice cream sticks that he learnt from his local friends, his mother mortified that her little sweet child would grow up to become a goon forced his father to change cities to go as far away from the place they physically could.
It was during his fathers pursuit for a stable Korean community in Canada’s ever-growing cities did he come across the name of your grandfather’s in the phonebook that sounded very much similar to his. Your grandfather being the trusting and kind man he was invited his father for a dinner in his house the following day and this event kickstarted a relationship between the two families wherein, his father bought a house six minutes away from yours in the small part of your city inhabited by mostly Asians.
You both had met when he was seven and you were only three, he still remembers babysitting you when you were in middle school as your parents trusted no one more than him. So, when he broke the beautiful glass table in your living room, he had skillfully blamed you resulting in a three-hour long lecture from your parents about taking care of ones possessions.
You hated Jeonghan then, you really did, so you refused to talk to him for the next almost five years.
Until you both found yourselves in a duet dance opposite to each other because it was the neighborhood talent show and it was mandatory for the kids to participate. Typical Asian parents.
To no ones surprise your dance number got a tad bit too much hype from the watchers and it kickstarted another full year of you both not talking to each other at all because of the teasing glances and suggestive remarks from adults and children alike.
The time you both talked to each other again was when it was you senior year prom at high school and your father being the overprotective man he was, did not allow you to go because according to him ‘prom is how American kids end up getting pregnant.’
He was wrong of course; kids get pregnant due to having sex but you being the soft-spoken kid you were did not have the gal to inform him that. You would rather spend the night being sad and watching Simpsons and crying about how unfair it is for your parents to not let you go and experience the night considered to rank number one in peak American high school experience.
This was the first time you saw Jeonghan as your lord and savior, which you obviously will never tell him because it will do nothing but fuel his over-the-top ego. But that day he had stepped in and talked to you father.
“It’s an experience and everyone should be able to experience it, I think you are wrong sir to take away this from your daughter,” he had oh so righteously said.
“Son, I would let her only if you take her, as I don’t trust anyone but you with my daughter.”
“So, I shall then.”
Now did this conversation shock you? Yes, it did especially your father’s response to Jeonghan, but you were not going to stir up any feminist conversation with your father right now, not when you just got the pass to go to prom.
That night was something you barely remember; it has been twenty years since then and you barely care about the overly hyped kids and the future alcoholics that you encountered that night. Now that you are wise and older, you understand your parents concern. Suzy from you class had become a mother at the prime age of eighteen, nine months later. You are thankful that your father made the wise choice for you that day.
That night from what you remember was just plain boring, you had come back at 11 to a quite house, had talked to the boy for the entirety of the night, watched the sunrise with him and at the end had hugged him thanking him for taking you to prom.
After that incident, you both had again gone onto your own ways and had not talked to each other for another year till the next family function, where you both were the only kids of the same age present as all your other friends were out of the country for college.
That weekend had sparked a friendship between you both, as you always stuck to each other’s side seeking comfort from one another as talking to anyone else somehow always circled back to your marriage and their extreme concern for your depleting eggs.
The friendship you both wove lasted a long while, throughout your college. Till one day you come back from a trip to Daegu, and he was there standing at the airport ready to rush you away from your family to the nearest Starbucks because he had some news for you.
Once in the café he informed you that he had landed the job he had been trying for right after finishing college. You were elated for him, so happy that you almost forgot to tell him about the potential marriage partner your parents had whipped up during your two-week-long stay there.
Jeonghan being the man he was asked you up front to marry him, confessing his hidden feeling for you and how the weight of them might have just decreased his height. Dramatic bitch.
You being brough back to reality told him no and stated the reason to be man you could have potentially married. He obviously told you to say no to this unknown ‘son of a bitch’ and accept his proposal.
So being the bigger person, because Jeonghan obviously refused to, you reminded him that you had never dated anyone let alone him and you will not marry a man you have not dated.
This conversation then ignited your relationship the first step of which was turning down the said ‘son of a bitch’ while telling your father you wanted to focus on your career more, which you really did. Fast forward six months and while keeping up the long-distance relation with frequent phone calls late at night because your parents might pick up the landline and eavesdrop if its during the day, while at the same time trying to search for a job near Boston went on.
On one late Sunday afternoon as you were sitting on the kitchen island sipping on coffee you got an email from on of the companies, you had given an interview to, informing you had gotten an onsite job that would require you to move to Cambridge, and you were over the moon.
So, the preparations began for your send off and again Jeonghan stepped in like the messiah he is. He is absolutely not one, you refuse to accept. The man went ahead and told your conservative father he will give up his life to take care of you, till this date you claim it will be the opposite if a situation like that befalls you both. After packing your bags, you were on your merry way to live with the man.
It took you both some time to adjust to the new settings he would be over at your place during the weekends and sometimes you would be at his. This continued for another year or so before one night as you both were laying on the bed together when Jeonghan suddenly piped up.
“I think you should see other people.”
Not understanding what he meant you turned towards the guy and asked, “what do you mean?”
“I know we will end up marrying each other, so I want you to experience dating other men too, so you don’t get to ever claim I was the only guy in your life,” he explained to you.
You had yet to get a taste of exactly how much of a cocky motherfucker you are dating, said innocently.
“But Jeonghan you are the only guy I ever dated.”
That was the end of that conversation that night before you both went to sleep, but his urging never stopped. It went on for a few days till one day your exhausted and a tad bit insecure self, lashed out at him claiming he wanted to cheat on you, and he wanted a break. So, you gave one to him.
That entire year you had a flower bouquet delivered early morning to your house with an apology letter, although the apologies lasted only for a month before you forgave the terrified man, who apologized profusely after you accepted to talk to him. Even though you did feel a bit bad after seeing him, the guy looked like he was living during the great depression.
After that all was smooth sailing and he never ever tried to upset you at all, but his playful nature persisted anyways, not like you minded that.
Five years later during your sister’s wedding in Singapore was when his proposal was finally accepted. You had just arrived at the airport and yet again the man had swooped in and taken you away from your family under the guise of some kind of sound check that was needed to be done in the wedding venue.
Your clueless self agreed to go with him and without a second thought he took you to the cables to take you to an island that was nowhere close to the wedding venue. As you were getting increasingly confused, you kept asking him where exactly you both were going. He kept deflecting the topic, so you ultimately gave up and, as another family came up on the cable car, you started talking about your flight that you took with your family. The poor man did not hear one word, he was sweating bullocks and was essentially confused why another family was in the cable car that he had fully booked for you both.
As the family got down at the end, he stopped you from doing so too claiming it is not the stop, even though it was the last one. It was then the nervous wreck of a man got down on one knee in front of asking for your hand in marriage once again, and you being so in love with him accepted to spend the rest of your life with the man.
The rest of it was history, you both had to tell your parents none of whom were shocked at all, rather relieved that you both had at last agreed to get married and be together forever.
Now ten years later and with your two children, you are perfectly content with your life. Waking up with Jeonghan beside you everyday sounds like a dream and you are happy it came true for you.
As you tossed around the bed you saw Jeonghan eyeing you in his half-awake state.
“What are you thinking about?” he asks.
“Us,” you answer snuggling closer to him.
“What about us, huh?”
“The way you forced me to date some other guy because you wanted me to have more experience in dating,” you laughed at the memory.
“Don’t tell me about that it still haunts me till this day” he retorts with a shudder.
“Why did you do it anyways?” you ask.
“I knew I was going to marry you so I wanted you to have some more experience with dating others so whenever you have an argument I could say ‘hey remember that looser you dated!’”, he answers with laugh.
With a laugh you slapped his shoulder exclaiming, “I sometimes forget how cocky you can get!”
"How else do you think I got the permission to propose you in someone else's marriage!" he states sassily.
With that Jeonghan snuggles closer to you some more, its Sundays anyways the kids are with their grandparents and you both have all the time in the world to just bask in each other’s presence and not do anything at all.
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nobodyfamousposts · 1 year ago
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Do you think people cling on too much to Adrien's high road advice as a reason to salt on him?
Yes, especially when there are plenty of other reasons to salt him that have previously been ignored. But to that end, it DOES serve as the final straw for people after a SERIES of problems that had previously gone unaddressed.
Much like many aspects of the show, Adrien has displayed problematic behaviors that have been overlooked and waved off in the earlier seasons. This is likely or especially due to the way how in each and every incident, Adrien was narratively shown to be correct. In his stance. In his choices. In his behaviors. He was always right. It doesn't matter if he shouldn't be, because he is.
Now unless you're a hater or anti or salter or whatever negative name people tend to get for not liking a story as it's presented, readers and watchers tend to follow along with the narrative as it presents things and how it presents things. It's a common setup in any story. Protagonist Centered Morality, I feel framed best by Susan in the Discord series:
Susan: ...and then Jack chopped down the beanstalk, adding murder and ecological vandalism to the theft, enticement and trespass charges already mentioned, but he got away with it and lived happily ever after without so much as a guilty twinge about what he had done. Which proves that you can be excused anything if you're a hero, because no one asks inconvenient questions.
Pretty much this. Most people will follow what the narrative says because it's the narrative. If the narrative wants you to focus on Marinette being embarrassed, you're going to focus on how much she's cringe. And if the narrative wants you to view Adrien as a perfect sunshine boy who never does anything wrong, anything he does is going to be framed through that lens and it's difficult to break from that view and call out the times when he is wrong. Not unless he does something particularly severe.
It should be noted that outside of Chameleon, Adrien had, among other things: lied to his partner, caused someone to get akumatized and had his partner take the blame, was messing around during life-threatening and city-threatening situations, did nothing as Chloe tormented people right in front of him, DEFENDED Chloe after she tormented people right in front of him, bailed on an event with friends to set up a date with someone who said she had other plans and then got mad at HER for it, tried to flirt or confess in the middle of an active crisis which took necessary attention away from said crisis, caused himself AND his partner to get hit by akuma powers and needlessly be taken out of commission.
And yet people could mostly overlook these instances. They weren't his fault. Chloe is his friend. Marinette is worse. He's just a kid. He has a tragic backstory. So on and so forth. Easy to overlook. Easy to ignore in favor of the Sunshine Boy setup people were given and want to believe in.
But there were three major instances that really grabbed people's attention and stayed:
His attitude in Frozer. It probably wouldn't have been so bad except this rejection already happened in Glaciator, where he was supposed to have learned a lesson and accepted just being Ladybug's friend and now apparently didn't, despite it happening earlier that very season. Then in response, he decides to date Kagami as a rebound, drags Marinette with him on his date (without realizing how he's asking his friend to be a third wheel on a DATE) and focuses on her when he's supposed to be with Kagami, throws another tantrum in the middle of an akuma fight and refuses to work with his partner when the city is literally frozen, and requires Ladybug to apologize to him for hurting his feelings before he finally working with her. Again. But okay, he's a teenage boy in love. Not used to rejection and got his feelings hurt. Lovesquare is endgame so of course it'll work out anyway, so it's not like this bump in the road is really going to matter long term so we shouldn't hold it against him. Fine. Dumb, but fine. We've forgiven it in other shows and other poorly done teen romances, we can forgive it here.
His behavior in Syren in which he demanded to know secrets from people when the secrets were not theirs to tell him, and went so far as to attempt to blackmail his kwami (which was funny) and threaten to quit and abandon the Ring that the big bad is after while the city is flooded and people were trying to not drown (which was decidedly less humorous). But it was played for wholesome when Plagg reassured him and he got what he wanted by Fu revealed himself even if Adrien did nothing to actually show he earned it, so all's well that ends well, I guess? And people could justify it because "they're partners" and "part of a team" and "she should trust him" and "it's not fair he's the only one left out of the loop" and "he has a right to know" and just general "Fu is an idiot" (which is admittedly hard to argue). So people were disgruntled, but most were willing to overlook it.
His holier than thou lecture to Marinette in Maledictator over everyone being happy Chloe was leaving. When all Marinette was doing at the time was watching everyone else have fun. When Adrien specifically guilted Marinette and not any of the other actual partiers involved who were literally throwing a party over his friend leaving and probably should have warranted a lecture more than the girl just standing there. When the girl in question was also Chloe's main target and out of everyone had valid reasons to be happy that her bully won't be around to bully her anymore. When Adrien himself has historically been present to witness Marinette being targeted including twice he witnessed Chloe attempt to steal from Marinette, once he witnessed her try to blackmail Marinette, and numerous other times when she actively caused harm to Marinette and others. When Adrien then proceeded to sit in a corner and pout rather than do anything else or just leave if the party really bothered him. When Adrien, if he really cared so damn much, could have gone after Chloe himself! Or y'know...have stood up for Chloe earlier when she got upset in the first place. But fine, okay, Chloe is his childhood friend. So maybe he's just being biased and oblivious to the fact that his "friend" is a horrible person. But people can excuse and justify it in that they are friends and friends support each other, and the longer someone is friends with someone else, the harder it is to break from them. And that Marinette was probably just the target of his lecture because she was the one there in the moment (and the only one who would listen without arguing). And her calling Chloe useless was "mean" despite it being quite frankly the least of what she could have said about her in the moment (coughcough theft cough blackmail cough punished the entire school cough TRIED TO CRASH A TRAIN AND NEARLY KILLED HER AND HER PARENTS COUGH-FREAKINGCOUGH). Fine. Childhood friend means Adrien supports her in all her horrible and even deadly actions. Frustrating, but again, able to be explained and you can see where he's coming from.
These are all things that definitely got Adrien some side eye at best and some detractors at worst.
BUT if you really think about it, all of these examples are objectively worse than his lecture to Marinette in Chameleon. Not accepting being told "no" and continuing to chase a girl who isn't that in to him (while leading on another). Putting lives at risk over personal wants that could quite honestly wait until AFTER the crisis is over. Defending someone who is harmful and guilt tripping the victims. Compared to those, telling someone to leave a liar to their lying seems relatively minor.
So why this? Why here? Why is it Chameleon that has people saying enough is enough? Why is it this episode that is causing the sunshine boy to be so tarnished and the subject of salt in fan fiction?
Because this is the time when it couldn't be rationalized. There wasn't even a valid sensible canon-based reason for his stance. The arguments that Adrien "knew confronting her wouldn't work" or that he "handled her like paparazzi" or that he "knew Marinette previously failed when she tried" (even though he wasn't there and didn't know) or that he "didn't think anyone would believe him" don't come from canon. Those were fan arguments made after the fact to justify him after the base was broken and the outcry became too much to ignore.
This case didn't have any of the ties or rationales of the previous incidents. Adrien wasn't defending himself or his place in a partnership. He wasn't fighting for his love or his dream or an outcome he wanted and that we all knew was coming—if anything, he was fighting against her. He wasn't defending a friend like he did with Chloe—I mean, it's pretty evident he doesn't even really know or like Lila at this point, and for all intents and purposes, this is apparently only the second day he actually had any interaction with her. There was no notable reason Adrien really had for why he essentially chose to protect Lila over literally anyone else as she wasn't a friend and it wasn't in his interests to protect her from a consequence that wouldn't hurt her short term as much as it would likely harm everyone else long term.
And yet, he still defended her and her freedom to lie. Over Marinette. Over Ladybug. Over his friends. Over any sense of right and wrong he seems to have no problem throwing around when it comes to Marinette/Ladybug. Which seems like he targets her 9 times out of 10 compared to pretty much anyone else by this point. So it's little wonder then that people who didn't already hate the lovesquare because of the cringe factor from Marinette started to hate it for being incredibly unhealthy given that their relatively limited interactions tend to involve him lecturing her for failing to live up to his double standards that only seem to apply to her in any given situation.
This incident by itself doesn't seem like much, but when looked at as part of the series as a whole, it's when people couldn't keep overlooking this trend. Where he seems to admonish the wrong person. Where he acts like a mouthpiece rather than a person. Talks like he’s wise in a situation he seems to have a childish and one-sided view of. Acts like a brat but is treated as though he has no accountability in the situation he causes. Where he is wrong but no one and certainly not the narrative acknowledges it (not until season five and two seasons too late when it doesn't matter and he's still not the one facing consequences for it).
And it's not like he actually follows the stances he himself promotes. In Chameleon, canon presents him with this idealistic stance that Lila could change if given a chance, except he doesn't give her a chance. He doesn't push her to be a better person. He doesn't support or in any way help her to be the better person he insisted to Marinette she could be. He also doesn't do anything or warn anyone when she keeps lying and actively harms the people he says he cares about. He doesn't do anything one way or the other other than some lackluster encouragement to stop lying and a warning that goes nowhere. It just further gives credit to the argument that Adrien either simply doesn't care about other people, or that he doesn't care for Marinette specifically. Neither is conducive to the lovesquare or the increasingly tarnished view of the "sunshine boy".
And it could have worked. Canonically and intrinsically to his character. His idealism and trust in the wrong person comes back to bite him. He learns and grows from it. Except that, much like with nearly everything he does in canon, Chameleon set it up that Adrien was the writers' mouthpiece and thus was not "wrong". I'll grant that they did have him admit it and apologize to Marinette for it two seasons later, but it is pretty evident that during Chameleon, they intended his lecture to be right, with no foreshadowing and no implication otherwise. And I'm fairly certain they only backtracked and had him do that much because of the amount of fan outrage over the episode.
So yes, I think his lecture in Chameleon was really a final straw since unlike Chloe, Adrien has NO relationship with Lila to justify his defense of her. Especially when the argument is in favor of letting her lie to the people he's supposed to care about. That combined with how jarring it was how most of the class just sided with Lila over the seat issue in the first place, and I think people were less inclined to just ignore the problems in the episode specifically and with the series as a whole as they were compared to the first and second seasons. Not just with Adrien, as we see that Alya also started getting more callout and salt since then as well as more retrospective scrutiny over her behavior in earlier seasons.
But yeah...Chameleon was where things seemed to take a 180, so it's bound to be the deciding episode and deciding incident that sticks out in people's minds with these characters. That's probably why it ends up the go-to for salt and complaints on the characters involved instead of any of the other incidents that would arguably warrant it more.
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honeyspawn · 11 months ago
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I feel like we don't talk enough about how tragic Alice's fear of being cheated on in Watcher World is, especially in the context of her home life.
Bill revealed in Forever and Always that the reason he and his ex-wife got divorced is because she was having an affair and left him for her affair partner. Alice is living in an environment where her entire world was ripped apart by infidelity, and she spends the majority of the month with the one who cheated. What's worse is that Alice all but directly says that she blames Bill for this. She thinks that her mom cheating on her dad is her dad's fault. Likewise, she thinks that if Deb cheated on her (which I fully don't think she would do btw, I think it was a vision of the park), it would be her own fault. It wouldn't surprise me at all if Bill's ex-wife was shit-talking him to Alice and blaming him for her infidelity. Alice has internalized that if your partner cheats on you, you were the one who wasn't attentive or committed enough to the relationship, which is just tragic. Poor Alice.
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Text
You're his favorite show.
Choso is obsessed with watching you cum, going broke just to do it.
Divider: @rookthornesartistry
Content: fem!reader, reader is a camgirl, self pleasure (reader, choso), growing parasocial behavior (choso), he loves you, can you love him back?, pretties (nickname for readers watchers)
Wc: 1.3k
Part Two, Part Three
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Choso wouldn't say he had a problem. Not entirely. So what if his bank account was currently showing pretty red numbers? A little “-” before his balance. You were worth it. He'd just pick up extra shifts, work overtime, anything for the chance to see your pretty pussy on his screen. Mm, just the thought had his dick straining against his pants but he needed to keep it under control. The last thing he needed was to get fired for sporting a boner.
His phone vibrated in his pocket, a short numbing sensation signaling it was a notification. The people around him would've been concerned with how quickly he yanked his phone out; if they weren't so absorbed in their own phones. But he doubted it was for the same reasons.
‘Hey pretties! Liveshow will be a little later today than usual but don't worry. I'll reward you extra special for being so patient with me. Hugs and kisses♡’
Fuck. He didn't blame you, you couldn't help it but he needed to get rid of the erection you just gave him with words alone. Written ones. Excusing himself, he made his way to the employee bathroom. Quick to lock the door before he shoved his pants down his legs, his underwear following with it. His tip, already leaking and red, slapped against his clothed tummy. Hopefully no one would notice that little spot. And he quickly worked at his phone, pulling up the video you'd sent him. The one he paid for. Two minutes of you playing with yourself as you moaned his name. He'd missed rent that week but fuck, this was better. Choso spit into his hand, stroking up his length as he fully covered it. “Choso…” Your voice moaned on the screen, pretty little fingers dancing along your clit. As the other held a decent sized faux cock to your lips, licking the tip before slowly feeding it into your mouth.
“Fuck..” he breathed harshly through his nose. The sound of slick skin filling the room, mixing in with your almost muted pretty moans. Imagining, quite vividly, that it was his dick disappearing behind those pretty, red stained lips. God, he wished it was. Badly. And when you moaned his name again, muffled from your mouth being stuffed full of cock, he came quite hard. Painting his hand white, while some of it leaked onto the floor. Shit. He'd have to clean that up.
A thin layer of sweat covered his face as he pressed pause on your video. And he just stared at it. Your body paused in pleasure, mouth stretched, pussy glistening. If only he could see your face. He gave a sigh as he looked at the half-formed mask you always wore. Only your mouth and eyes could be seen, which granted was still perfect but…he wanted all of you. Every inch.
One day, he swore to himself.
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His house was quiet, dark when he came home. He immediately shrugged off his jacket and shoes, making his way to his bedroom. Choso knew you said you'd be late but this was routine. And maybe, just maybe, you'd notice how early he showed up to watch you.
He shrugged off his pants, leaving his boxers on as he pulled out his laptop. Setting it nicely on a pillow beside him, his finger moving swiftly across the track pad. Navigating his way to your site, clicking on the big heart. Bolded words, ‘Liveshow’ written next to it. He frowned, it seems like he wasn't the first. Hundreds of people had already shown up before him. It's okay though. No one loves you like he does. He wet his chapped lips, quickly checking his bank account to make sure he got paid and smiled widely when he saw he did. Minutes passed before the black screen flickered, now showing you.
His heart skipped, his dick already giving an interested twitch. It's like he couldn't help but get hard when he saw you.
“Hey pretties,” you cooed. Eyes glancing down, more than likely reading the chat. He sucked his lip between his teeth, using one hand to type in chat. ‘You look so pretty tonight’, amongst the sea of ‘show me your tits’ and ‘I wanna fuck your pussy.’ Don't get him wrong, he thought those things too but he loved you. And wanted to show you as such. Maybe you'd grow to love him too. “Aww, thank you, princ3charming.” You blew him a kiss, his fingers itched to catch it but he wasn't that far gone. Yet.
“Alright~ I think I've made you all wait long enough.” Your slender fingers roamed up your tummy, gently caressing your clothed breasts. “Shall we get started? And don't worry, I didn't forget about spoiling you for waiting so patiently. But after the show hm?” He nodded like you could see him, spitting into his palm as he languidly stroked his cock. Watching you undress yourself, perfect tits bouncing as you freed them. What he would give to suckle on them, massage them in his hands. “Fuck,” he whispered, watching you scoot your chair back. Resting your legs on the arm of your chair, lifting your skirt only to find you had nothing underneath. He licked his lips. Wanting to taste. Needing to. With his free hand, he quickly typed the command to send little purple hearts. They flooded the screen when he hit send. Along with many others, his hope for you to thank him again dwindled. “Mm, you all being good boys and girls, touching yourself?” You cooed.
“Yes…yes…” choso panted, fisting his cock a little quicker now. Sending another wave of hearts your way.
“Aw, I bet you are..”your pretty lips let out a moan, your finger swirling around your clit. “Touching yourself so good for me.” Fuck. His head fell back as he listened to the squelching of your pussy. How warm was it? How hard would you clench around him if he fucked himself into you? Your beautiful tits smushed against his face, lathered in his spit because he simply couldn't stop licking and kissing them. Fuck he was close. And it didn't help that your moans were getting louder, mixing with the squeaking of your chair. “Gonna make a mess for me pretties? I'm sure gonna make a mess for you,” the sound of your voice sent him over the edge. Spurts of his cum painting his tummy white as he fucked up into his fist. Dick twitching as a layer of sweat, just like earlier, covered his skin.
He tuned in just in time to hear your pretty whines. Your fingers fucking in and out of your hole, making a mess as you squirted all over the chair.
More hearts flooded the screen as he stared at your beautiful, blissed out face. The part he could see anyway. Adding his own into the mix as well. ‘Thank you.’ He typed, hoping you'd see it. That you knew how grateful he was for you to let him see your pussy.
With a harsh intake of breath, you sat up fully. Looking through the messages before looking back into the camera. “We'll have some more fun in just a moment. While I recharge, I'll tell you what special gift you all are getting for being so patient.” He pulled himself closer to the screen, hanging onto every word. “During this next little…show, whoever sends the most hearts, wins a special one on one private video session with me.” His heart skipped a beat. Private? Alone? With you? “Ideally, I'd love to do this with all of you but..” a subtle pout of your lips made his dick harden again. “I simply don't have enough stamina for that.” You giggled.
He licked his lips. Choso was definitely going to miss rent this month.
A/N: this was supposed to be a one-shot but now I'm thinking, a part 2? Maybe?♡
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gauloiseblue · 7 months ago
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If I were a good man / I'd understand the spaces between friends
(König × Reader)
I'm a sucker for a childhood friend AU, but combined with the obsessed, loyal dog AU? I'm gone. I'm further than gone.
Words: 4.7k
König isn't the type of man who believes in superstitions, but he'll never buy you shoes.
It's something that's been engraved in him, since he saw his mother leave the house, with the shoes he bought for her. She only looked over her shoulder once, watching him with tears before she turned away, and never came back.
His father was an angry man, and all he did when he went to an empty home was to blame him.
The scars that his father left on his body weren't as painful as the wound that his mother left in his heart. She abandoned him. Leaving him with an angry man in the house.
Sometimes, when he wasn't busy loathing, and resenting his mother, he brood over the choices that she made. Why she abandoned him. Why she didn't take him with her.
Yet what came was an echo, and he found himself biting his lip until it bled.
He carried his feelings around, to the point that it's clear for anyone to see. People began to avoid him, though some of them would tease him for the things he didn't have.
And all of them would end up with a broken bone.
He was trouble. He was hideous, inhuman, and it's only natural for people to look away from him.
That was, until he met you.
It was horrible for both of you, since you both were like oil and water. But you had no choice, since the teacher assigned you as a volunteer to help him with his grade.
He didn't hide his vexation when you tutored him, and he knew you're holding back your irritation inside. It was hell, but it was him who fed the fire. You were patient, but you had your limit. He knew it'd come to an end someday, but it came not in the way he expected.
It was the fifth day of your lesson, and the day you resigned as a volunteer. He couldn't remember exactly what he said, but it made you snap as you slam your fist on the table.
"I'm sorry that you have a shitty life and sorry your mother left you, but have you ever been kind to your mother when she's still around?"
He snapped back at her, telling her it's none of her business, but when she left him, something clicked in him.
Have you ever been kind to your mother?
Just like the wind, she swept away the mess, letting him see what's underneath. It's not always an echo, it's not always a wall, he just needed to take a step back and see.
It was disorienting, as if he had learnt something forbidden—something that's only reserved for the watcher in the sky. But he did, and it's all because of her.
Have you ever been kind to your mother?
Have you ever been kind to the one who held your hand?
You held his hand, you pulled him from the dark place, and all he did was to make you leave. Just like what he did to his mother.
Several days after the fight, he came to you with a silence that's strange. You thought he was possessed when he muttered out the word sorry.
"I'm sorry." He mused as he kept his face turned from you.
You heard your friends gasping, while you tried to make sense of the situation.
"Sorry?"
"Should I get on my knees when I apologize?"
"No—" Your eyes widened when he hunched down, "Of course not! Let's uh, let's talk somewhere else. You and I."
You pushed him out of the crowd, and into the empty room. In the space full of unfinished art, he confessed his mistakes, and all the things that he did wrong to you. You gaped at him when he bowed down, with a honesty that you didn't know existed.
He was given a second chance when you accepted his apology, and he saw it as a way of repentance.
The two of you became friends, despite of the strange dynamics that you both shared. Your friends teased you when he's around, saying that he's more of a guard dog than a friend. You'd explain in fluster that it's not true, that he just wasn't used to having someone around, but he didn't deny it. He did follow you around after all.
When you helped him with his study, he quickly found that he's weak academically—except for history. He didn't know what drew him into the topic, but he's always fascinated by great events, including war.
Perhaps that's the reason why he joined the military.
When he told you about his plan, you were quiet as you listened.
"I'm glad you've found your way," You commented, "You'll certainly fit in in no time."
He looked at you, as he sensed a continuation.
"But…" You sighed, as you rubbed your neck, "I just… don't want you to get hurt. You've suffered enough, and I don't want you to go through it again." You shook your head, before giving him a smile, "But it's your future, I don't have a say in this."
The silence filled the room as you looked away, and he kept his eyes on you, before he reached out to touch your hand. "It's the only thing I knew I'd do it right. I don't have any talent, and I don't live a normal life, so," He squeezed your hand, "It's the only way for me."
You pressed your lips into a thin line, as you didn't say anything further.
The night he's leaving for the army, he walked aimlessly, before his feet carried him to your home.
Your window was closed, and the lights were dimmed. You might’ve been sleeping, but he wanted to see you for the last time. He picked up a pebble by his boot, and threw it to your window. Carefully, as to not break the glass.
That was the only time he's been the softest. In his hand, everything breaks. But that night, the window didn't shatter.
You peeked through the curtain, before you pushed it open upon seeing his face. You stare at him, dumbfounded, as you asked him the obvious question.
"What are you doing here?" You hissed.
"I wanted to see you." He replied.
"It's late, my parents will kill you if they see you here."
"Won't be a problem."
You were ready to scold him, before he suddenly jumped, and grabbed on your window railings. You closed your mouth as you watched him climb, before he landed on your floor.
"You're crazy."
"I've heard it a million times."
"No, you're really crazy. You're insane, mad, not—"
"—right in the head?" He grinned, "Call me something else."
You let out a long sigh, as you pressed your hand against your forehead.
"Alright." You huffed, "Why are you here? Are you trying to scare me before you leave?"
"I told you I wanted to see you."
"And why did you want to see me?" You tilted your head, "Is this a goodbye?"
"No." He replied as he leaned against your window, "I wanted to say thank you."
You raised your brow when he said it.
"I'd still be in the dark if I never met you." He told you with ease, as if it wasn't a confession of the heart, "Thank you. I mean it."
He didn't say anything, as the words sinked into you. Your face softened, as the tension melted away from your body. He was surprised when you pulled him into a hug, but didn't utter any complaint.
"I'm happy for you." You murmured against his chest, "Write me a letter, okay?"
He said yes to a promise he never fulfilled.
It's not that he didn't want to write to her, he just thought that it's never good enough. He wasn't good at talking, moreover retelling his day in a letter.
It didn't mean he carried no guilt in his heart. It was a promise, something that he should've kept after all. But his days were terrible, he was terrible.
He couldn't pass the sniper's test, he made several mistakes in the missions, and he couldn't make any friends. It was when he's away from you that he began to appreciate your company. You put him at ease, and he never felt the need to hide himself. He could say what he wanted, and you'd just scold him if it's wrong, but you didn't leave him. You didn't treat him like a plague.
Sometimes when he felt weary, he'd imagine you beside him, telling him about your day instead. He wondered what you're doing, and how you're feeling that day. He wondered if you're reading a new book, or you're getting ready to sleep. It comforted him when he kept the phantom of you by himself.
He didn't count the day, and he just let it pass. One or two times, he thought of you when it's holiday. He wanted to go back, but he didn't have home anymore. He left it the day he went to the military, never to return.
He always hoped you'd send a letter to him, telling him about your thoughts, even the most insignificant. He wanted to hear from you, just so he knew you're still thinking of him.
Unfortunately for him, he heard about you from other people.
He was on a rescue mission when he met his former classmate, the one he broke his nose in a fight. He spoke to him like a friend, and treated the incident as something that's in the past. He told him about the school, and the update about their classmates.
That's when he found out about your relationship.
He didn't hear the rest of it, as his ears were ringing. He knew you weren't his, but he couldn't help but feel betrayed. Was that the reason why you never wrote to him? Because you're too busy with your boyfriend?
That day, he almost failed the ops because he went on a rampage.
It was supposed to be a quiet mission. Secure the site, and escort the hostages out. But he rammed through the door, and killed everyone on sight. Though he didn't harm the hostages. He received a penalty from his General, and he's never again received a delicate mission.
But he's a strong man, he could easily take down the whole squad if he's angry enough. His anger was just like his father's, violent, and combustible, and it was a boon in volatile battlegrounds.
It earned him a higher rank faster than his peers. Since he was efficient, despite of him destroying everything in his wake.
Years went by, and he began to forget about his hometown. Until one letter arrived, informing him about the death of his father.
It had been foreseen, since the amount of alcohol he consumed could rival the sailor's.
He didn't want to go back, but he had to tie up loose ends if he wanted to be completely free from his father.
His hometown was still the same, except for a few stores that had closed, and a few of the new ones. His house didn't undergo any change, it's still messy, with bottles and bottles scattering around the floor.
His father died on the sofa in the living room, and he could still see him there, sitting down, drinking himself to death. There's no longer an angry man in the house, but his rage still lingered in the room. As if refusing to pass.
They said when you're worn out, you'd seek comfort just as you seek fire in the winter. So when he walked out of the house, aimlessly and unthinking, he found himself striding to your house, unconsciously.
He's never a lucky man, but that day, the Goddess smiled at him. You were just about to leave when you saw him by the gate. He saw your frowned, before your eyes lit up as you recognized him.
"I told you to write me letters, you bastard."
He opened his mouth to answer, but you already pulled him into a hug, interrupting him from replying.
"Welcome back." You told him as you squeezed his arms.
Since then, he has spent more time with you more often. Whether by talking, or enjoying each other's company. She helped him with the paperwork, as he was busy with his father's burial. When it's all over, he told her his desire to sell the house.
You opposed it at first, before he explained that he's planning to move his home. His house was old, and there's several new apartments around. He was alone, and he wouldn't stay for long, so a little room would be enough for him.
He ended up buying a smaller house, for you he was convinced that he'd find the use for it someday. And he did, he did find it when he looked at you.
But he was afraid. Afraid that you'd reject him despite of your current status. You weren't dating anyone at that time, and it should be easy for him to enter your life. Yet all he offered, was for you to use the house.
"I'll be gone for months, so I need someone to take care of the house." He said, "Why don't you live there? It's closer to your college, isn't it?"
It was a good offer, but you refused it politely. Saying that it's not necessary, that you didn't need that. The next morning, he went back to the base, feeling dejected, wondering if he should've been braver.
This time, he kept his promise. He wrote letters to you, although it'd take about 3 months before he could write more than five sentences. Sometimes they'd talk through phones, and he'd listen to your rambles about your day. When he talked, he mostly told you about his job. He was cocky about it, but you pulled him down to the ground somehow. He didn't realize it, until all of his teammates pointed it out to him.
He didn't come back at Christmas, and he spent his time lounging around the empty base. You were busy that day, but you made time to call him in the evening. It was short, but it was the nicest thing someone ever did to him. And when you hung up, he stared at the phone for minutes, wondering if he should've just gone home instead.
When you graduated from college, he took his day off to attend the ceremony. You were surprised, but glad nonetheless. Your family was present as well, and they shot him funny looks every time you talked to him. It wasn't until your father leaned in to talk, that he found out the reason for it.
If he said that he should stay away from you, he'd believe it. But the way he spoke, and—Lord help him—implied that you're interested in him almost sounded like a ruse. He stared at your old man as if he's gone mad, but when he turned his head towards you, his heart was burning. How easy was it, to be consumed by greed upon hearing a just few words.
He wanted it to be true, he desperately wished it to be true. But once again, he left with his feelings kept.
He wanted to rip his hair off, as he screamed into the pillow. You liked him, didn't you? Wouldn't it be easier for him to ask you? To have you by his side?
In that moment, he swore to himself that he'd do it the next time you both met. Because he wouldn't forgive himself if someone else took you before him. So he swallowed his pride, and asked for advice.
He expected his teammate to laugh at him, but to his surprise, they were very eager to give him one. Though most of them strayed from the topic.
When he first flirted with you, his hands were cold, and if they were talking face to face, she'd be able to see how much of a mess he was. Even when you noticed the tremble in his voice, you didn't say anything. He only did it for a week, before he settled with calling you Schnecke.
It wasn't until he was listed for a long mission, that you called him for a question.
"Hey." He could hear the uncertainty in your voice when you muttered, "Does the offer still stand?"
He almost asked her for it, before the realization struck him.
It was about his house.
His body turned stiff, as he felt the warmth in his loins. He was silent, and you began to think that it was a bad idea.
"Forget it, you don't have to ans—"
"Yes." He breathed out, "Yes, it still stands."
From that day on, you began to live in his house. He had to send the key via mail, which arrived three days later, according to the letter you wrote for him.
It felt… strange, pleasantly strange, knowing that you lived under his roof, filling his house with your things. He'd feel his skin heated up, as he pictured you on his bed, sleeping. At night, he dreamt of you in the house. Just you and him, doing a mundane routine, and even in the middle of the battlefield, he still couldn't get the image out of his mind. But why should he? It was everything that he ever dreamt of.
When the long mission came to an end, he visited his commander's office to request a month off. His boss was perplexed, but it was soon granted, in exchange for his contribution in a Tier 2 mission.
It was past midnight, when he arrived at home. You must've been startled when he knocked on the door, since you opened it with the latch still intact.
You helped him with his things as he stepped inside, admiring how warm his house became. There were traces of you in the living room—an empty mug, a soft blanket, and several files that you worked on before you slept. You sheepishly told him sorry as you tidied them up, but he stopped you, telling you it's okay.
"It's already late, let's just sleep."
"Go on then, I'll sleep on the sofa."
"What are you saying?" He retorted, "Take the bed. I'm not letting you sleep here."
"I can't. This is your house."
"I don't care."
"I care." You frowned.
"Schnecke." He said with a sigh, "It's either me on the sofa, or we share the bed."
He didn't mean to say it, but the words slipped out of his mouth so easily, before he fully realized it. Your mouth hung open, and all of your protests died down in your throat. He'd be horrified of it, if it's not for a burst of confidence, and a portion of sleep-deprived that made him a bit braver.
"The bed is big enough for both of us." He added.
You were hesitant at first, but you agreed on it later on.
That night, he woke up to find the side of the bed empty. Panic rose from his chest, before he sucked up a breath to calm down. He stepped out of the bedroom, and into the living room.
He found you curling on the sofa, with the warm blanket around you. He let out a sigh of relief, before silently cursed at your little escape. He scooped you into his arms, as he carried you to the bedroom.
He could see your reluctance to share the bed with him, and he understood it. He's a man, and it'd be strange for you to sleep with him on the same bed. But still, it affected him in the way he's afraid of.
You apologized to him the next morning, when he climbed up to the bar stool to watch you cook.
"I didn't know you moved me to the bed. I'm sorry, it should've been uncomfortable for you."
"It's fine." He said as he stretched, which made his joints pop, "I've had worse."
"Still, it doesn't mean you can sleep on the sofa forever."
"I don't want you to sleep on the sofa either."
"Ugh." You groaned as you placed the breakfast in front of him, "If only we could afford another bed."
"We?"
You stopped on track, as he tilted his head.
"Th—" You faltered, "That's because it's our problem now. You don't want me to sleep on the sofa, and I don't want you to sleep there too. We're running in circles."
He let her have a moment, before he said, "We've figured out the solution, haven't we?"
You almost dropped your plate after hearing him speak, he observed you as your face turned red. "You must understand, I can't sleep with you on the same bed. That'd be… improper. And no, I won't let you sleep on the sofa either."
He watched you as you paced back and forth on the kitchen floor.
"Fine, we can sleep on the same bed. But we won't share the same blanket, alright?"
With that, the new rule had been set. You'd sleep on the left side, while he took the side near the wall. He used the fleece blanket, and you cocooned inside the thick bedcover. Outside the bedroom, he's the one who (begrudgingly) cleaned the house, while you took care of the food. They went to the grocery store twice a week, and they'd split the bills into two.
He quickly fell into the routine as he found the comfort of it. He enjoyed the domesticity of it, something that he never knew would fit him. Whenever they went out, he'd keep himself neutral while secretly reveled in the attention that people gave to them. He'd hold your bag, and open the door for you. He might’ve not realized it, but those gestures pushed their relationship into a strange territory—where you harbored a conflicted feeling, while he stayed blind to your frown.
Alas, everything had to come to an end. When it was time to go, he stood at the door as he teased you by asking where's his kiss. Your face turned red, and he chuckled when you stammered. He didn't expect anything out of it, but when you leaned in to kiss him on the cheek, he found himself at loss at words.
Back at the base, everyone stared at him for wearing his sniper hood. But he'd rather people asking him about the mask, than the cause behind his flushed face.
As he promised, he was transferred to a new team for a difficult mission. It was a secret ops, consisting of retrieving an important document from a small terrorist group, and finding the leader's whereabouts. They've reviewed the plans several times, before they put their gears on.
When they breached the base, he was the one in the front line, with a technician beside him. They knew there'd be traps and bombs, and it should've been the technician's job to detect and disarm them. But when he barged into the main office, they missed a little bomb at the corner of the room.
He was the first to shout, and the one who took the damage. When the explosive was triggered, it went off with a deafening boom, sending shrapnels into the air.
They fulfilled the objectives, but they didn't minimize the casualties. While there's zero count in death, he and three other members suffered quite injuries.
When the doctor came, he knew he would deliver bad news. He cleared his throat, before telling him about the wounds on his face. It's quite possible that he'd suffer permanent scarring, from all the shrapnels that was dug into his skin.
He didn't know what to feel about it, except for the fact that you'd see him differently.
When he came home a half year later, his gut churned when you stared at him with wide eyes. He almost turned back, if not for your hand that reached out to him, while you softly spoke.
"What happened?" You mused, "Does it still hurt?"
He was quiet when you touched him, subtly shaking his head to reassure you.
"Oh…" You frowned as you traced the jagged scars on his cheek, "It must've been hurt."
It didn't hurt as much as he thought it'd be, but the way you looked at him that moment made him silent. He wondered if he denied it, he would end up with less amount of care.
You bought him an ointment the next day, and you told him to sit down as you put it on his skin. He told you it was unnecessary since he's healed, but you said it was for the scars.
He was moved, but troubled at the same time. The thing that you'd do and the length that you went through for him, it was… endearing, to say the least. But when you touched his face, you'd wince at the roughness of the new skin.
One night, when you spread the cream on his cheek, he asked,
"Do I look so hideous with the scars, that you want them gone?"
You stopped at your track, before you stared at him. "I don't think I understand what you're saying."
"You brought me ointment just to make them gone."
"You thought I was disgusted by them?"
He didn't answer.
"Look," You shook your head as you sighed, "I'm sorry if I offended you in any way, but whatever you thought about me is wrong. I—" You bit your lip, almost wanting to stop yourself from talking, "I just, I want to do something… for you. That's the least thing I could do."
He watched you look away, with a red flush creeped up across your face.
"Why?" He asked.
"Why?" You snorted, "Well, I don't know. I'm not gonna answer that."
"Do you like me, (name)?"
This time around, you were the one who stared at him.
"What are you saying—"
"Do you like me?" He repeated.
He left you speechless, tongue-tied for the question.
"(Name)."
You didn't flinch when he touched your cheek. For whatever reason, your head turned to him instead. While your eyes searched into his.
At that moment, he forgot about his doubts and went forward to kiss you. Something that he wished he'd done years before, in your bedroom, where he said his first goodbye.
You moaned against his lips, and he growled as he pulled your body into his arms. You didn't resist him, as his hand slid under your garment.
The next morning, he woke up to you on top of him, sleeping soundly, as you quietly snored against his chest. He'd thought he's still asleep, if not for the warmth of your skin against his. When he stood up, his head throbbed, as if he had a bottle of wine last night. While he wasn't drunk, he surely felt like he did.
For a moment, he couldn't remember anything, before the memories hit him all at once. The taste of your sweat, your sweet moan, and a shudder of bliss when he first came. It all came down to him like cold water.
He wasn't an innocent man, he wanted you from the start, but he knew that, once he had walked down the path, he'd have no way to return. The rage that he felt when you weren't his, and the impulse he had when you looked at him through your lashes, they were untamed. It was out of his control, and he's afraid that he'd hurt you with his obsessiveness.
But he couldn't help it. That's just his nature.
When you woke up, you found him on the side of the bed, staring at you. And you smiled at him, so sweetly, that he wished to lock it away from anyone's eye.
And when you kissed him that morning, he felt the exhilaration and the dread of free fall. Where he'd feel the sense of freedom before the gravity pulled him toward a grave. A grave that's reserved only for him.
At that moment, he knew he had to die before you. Because he wouldn't know what to do with himself when you left first.
König doesn't believe in an old wives' tale, but he'll take away your shoes if that means he'll keep you forever.
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with cc by @ice-creamforbreakfast and @surely-sims!
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everyone, i apologise for the quality of these pictures. truly atrocious. the moschino stuff pack is fired.
LILAC: So this is our first fashion feature where we spotlight a cc creator (or two). Hopefully it won’t be our last, but we know what a flake the Watcher is.
ARAMINTA: She has good intentions.
LILAC: Yeah, and we all know what the road to that Dine Out pack is paved with. Anyway, I don’t think we can entirely blame her for the screencaps this time. Dodo is maxed out on photography, Moschino pack, and this is the best you can do?
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ARAMINTA: Quite. I can… understand photographs regularly being ruined by the flash when one is first acquiring the skill. At Level 5, however, the Watcher shouldn’t need to delete over half the captures from her screenshots folder.
LILAC: Plum right she shouldn’t. Anyway. Minta, what do we think of Poppy?
ARAMINTA: Oh I love it - and her! How about you?
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LILAC: Well coming from @ice-creamforbreakfast and @surely-sims, I was expecting quality. What I was not expecting was just how versatile this set would be, especially considering that it’s based on a 60’s spy aesthetic. I knew that you’d find things you like but you’re the Pattie Boyd to my Anita Pallenberg. You’re Kensington Gardens while I’m more Haight-Ashbury. But these Daffodil glasses and this turtleneck from the Daphne set? Sweet - I mean, groovy.
ARAMINTA: Well-made clothes stand the test of time, regardless of era.
LILAC: Yeah? And with these two, you know that you’re guaranteed a great product. The Watcher’s downloaded like every single item of theirs to her cc folder.
ARAMINTA: Speaking of versatility, how did you find the cut?
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LILAC: Perfect. As a curvier girl, I know that I always look amazing. But the problem is that CAS doesn’t always look amazing on me. This though? Actually does the deity that is Indya Drake justice - and that woman has curves like an Indy 500. The stretch test? These pass.
ARAMINTA: EA, take note. Your favourite item of the set?
LILAC: The Wolfsbane dress. In the black and white palette. And you?
ARAMINTA: The Larkspur dress. Absolutely timeless.
LILAC: And Dodo? I bet I know what yours is.
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DODO: The Holly set. But I think I’d like it better on the floor.
ARAMINTA: Really, you should put it in the hamper - oh, Dodo!
LILAC: Well if that isn’t a ringing endorsement, then I don’t know what is. You may get your wish later, Dodo, but for now we’re taking these to the clubs.
DODO: Yeah? Have fun.
ARAMINTA: Oh, do come too!
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LILAC: You won’t look out of place. In fact, Rosamund and I put together the perfect ‘fit for your new ‘dirty smelly hippy’ ethos.
DODO: Fantastic.
DODO: And I’m not smelly!
LILAC: Only because you have someone to help you with the soap.
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DODO: Yeah, about that. I’ve kind of forgotten and need a reminder?
LILAC: Later, Tarzan. Jane is coming out with me, and so are you.
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poppy was last sighted here & here. catch her if you can! dodo's clothes by @ice-creamforbreakfast
indya by the ever talented @cinamun. dodo is loaned by @akitasimblr (likely much to his regret)
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