#always anxious lmfao | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

dragqueenpentheus · 2 years ago

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oh baby it was a night im grateful i keep a writing compliments folder around

#i love this project very very much #i know she isnt in her final form and im! EXCITED to do draft three #ive only done a couple thousand words on it this year and im just !!#always anxious lmfao #ESPECIALLY about if my writing is any good. by god. it weighs upon me constantly. lmfao #submitted a poem to a magazine and i did a huge rework of it but its one thats already been rejected from another magazine and its just #woof i would like to be at least a LITTLE BIT published #and i would like to know im not wasting time trying to get there #and i would like to be able to feel like im doing good work. and just let go and enjoy the process.#IM GUNNA. TRY.#the most i got done on this project was when i was going out of the house to write SO #ill be doing this again !!!!#coffee ahop and library time!!!!!!!!' im gunna go be a person in public places and bot shit myself ideally #and try to forget my feelings while i work on this project i do really like!! i like her !!#just ough. oughhhh. i know she needs triage and logic and character reads and voice reworking and dialouge edits and and and #gotta zap myself outta that. we are editing later. not WHILE writing.#we can do complete character overhauls in draft two #its fine its all fine its. fine #just hard to not feel like ur a little dancing jester whose trying to preform shakespear :/#irl #personal

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wardensantoineandevka · 5 months ago

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I feel like some people putting Phineas MidstPodcast into the "nervous golden retriever from the shelter" box did significant damage to the way he's seen and thought of and talked about in portions of the fandom.

#not using his last name to stay out of the search lmfao #I was just thinking again about like his journal entry and truly it sometimes feels like...#like some people don't really see him as having done HORRIFIC things bc there's this investment in him being like #yes he's socially anxious and uncertain and is said to have a gentle soul but... dropping him into the Goldie archetype shaves down a LOT #like Phineas isn't actually some Golden Retriever Shelter Dog situation and it always feels it just sidesteps the more tangled parts of him #I won't go on about it like it's I am not really that into like the constant invoking of it for Phineas bc I often find it just yadda yadda #tbh I also feel like even further other people don't treat him as intelligent but that's a whole other thing #Midst things

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ofmdee · 24 days ago

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part 31 is edited and i am starting on the pics!!!!!!!

wanna catch up?

#mine #ts4 #sims 4 #the sims 4 #simblr #sims #ofmd #gentlebeard #ofmd sims #breathing underwater #mermaids #i added abt 1k words while editing lol so im glad i split it into 2 separate parts #using the same poses over and over again i hope it doesn't get boring!!!#ive probably said it before the pics always feel like... kind of a shield somehow?#like...... i am not confident abt my writing lmfao im just not! idk if i ever will be! i struggle w it a lot #and using pretty pics to distract from perceived imperfections in the text makes me feel..... safer? somehow?#and then i worry if i make too many pics too similar #ppl will see past them and be more critical of the writing and i know that is ridiculous!!! 😂#i need to stop inventing things to be anxious abt 😅#ANYWAY okay all that to say #hello!!!! it's still not friday somehow??????? smdh #also it's 78 degrees the day before halloween???????

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ashmp3 · 6 months ago

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i had this sense of dread overcome my senses today felt like walls were closing on me etc and as always i was right its literally been hit after hit after hit today i will never find peace

#literally called aqua bestie we will go on a walk in 2 hours both of us on the verge of a breakdown LMFAO maybe the beach will calm us down #and its always the things that make me SO anxious like probably stupid to you but to me i literally contemplated suicide three times today #and i cant even say im fine now i am not and the last nail to the coffin happened 10 minutes ago so you know. Deep breaths and all #FUCK MY STUPID LIFEEEEEEE AND FUCK MY STUPID LAPTOP

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gemharvest · 5 months ago

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observation I have made about myself and the fixation cycle that I wanted to put into a visual form.

#ramblings #i guess the ``ugh why did it have to be THIS`` thing depends on the specific interest #like danganronpa i hid that shit from everybody until it got too much for me to keep in LMFAO #funkin i didnt necessarily try as hard to hide HOWEVER i was still super fucking nervous about developing this current fixation on it qwq #but i guess the previous two before this current one i havent been as anxious about #mob psycho 100 i know is really liked so i was super excited to be fixated on a piece of media that doesnt have a lot of detractors #and then fnaf ive been into since i was fucking 9 and i make this super clear since when im not fixated it remains a constant casual-#-interest. so theres no shame in me admitting im into something thats kinda just always there with me #soooo fucking curious what the next one is gonna be. i say that as if the second fnaf movie isnt supposed to come out #december next year so i have a ticking time bomb on my fucking ass #tho theres still enough time to where this fixation can fade and a new one kick in. so i guess we will seeeeee #im not betting on this fixation becoming one that lasts longer than a year like dgrp did but itd be nice i think

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anotherpapercut · 1 year ago

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people acting like there isn't still very much an active stigma against cannibas and cannibas users is going to be my joker origin story

when i go to the doctor they still put cannibas use under the tab "substance abuse". not even just substance use. it is fully assumed that people who use cannabis, even as a prescription medication, are abusing it. just because you're friends with a couple of dumbass stoners doesn't mean that we've abandoned the idea as a culture that weed is a bad and scary and dangerous and highly addictive drug that will ruin your life if you use it once

#idk what its like in other countries but in the us and especially in red states fear mongering about weed is alive and well #'it ruins lives' -direct quote from a library board member making it so we can be fired for testing positive even w a prescription #i just take umbrage with posts about addiction that go out of their way to mention weed which we all learned in 6th grade is addictive #but dont also mention that this true of all prescription drugs and that a person can be dependant on a drug for health reasons???#yeah i get anxious and cant go a day without weed. because i use it to treat my anxiety and pain. i also get anxious without my wellbutrin #but people arent lining up to make posts about it?? and like you CAN obviously become addicted to prescription drugs its super common!#so i kind of feel like it would be far more useful to say 'this is true of ALL drugs. including weed caffeine and prescriptions'#you should always research ANY drug you take. prescription or not. find out about addictiveness + side effects + other drug interactions #and you should talk to someone if you feel anxious about your relationship to drugs. prescription or not #there have been many times where i was prescribed way too many drugs at once and it made me feel anxious and uncomfortable #so i talked to my doctors and consolidated several and it actually made them work a lot better #locked reblogs because i KNOW people are going to read this is 'so you should never ever talk about negative consequences of weed'#and im pretty sure the people who follow me will be able to understand thats obviously not what im saying #but as soon as it leaves my blog whos to say. but anyway like. I think we should talk more about addiction to all substances #and not just the ones that were already covered in DARE #I feel like at this point everybody has heard all of the negative possibilities with weed use at least once #and that's not necessarily true of caffeine and even like. benadryl lmfao #I might delete this in 10 minutes if I psych myself out akbdjznsjf

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gentlethorns · 1 year ago

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i have always been and will always be utterly fucking insane. help

#she bork #tbd #i am so so so so anxious and idk why!!!!! we found a house just need to get two of our roommates subleased from their apartments so it's not #the house hunt and i've stopped worrying about grad school as well since there's no use worrying about all the ifs and pros and cons when #idek if i'll get accepted in the first place so i don't think it's that either. idk i'm just like off the chain like i was putting up ad at #work literally thee MOST low-pressure activity imaginable and i was like about to have a panic attack like why!!!!!! i've had like three #cups of green tea which is caffeinated but not heavily so like probably the equivalent of two cups of coffee so it shouldn't be affecting me #like this. work is also stressful rn bc we keep rolling freight due to call ins so maybe that? i have no idea i just know i want to throw up #lmfao. idk maybe i'm not getting enough vitamin d bc i'm already deficient and daylight savings time has reeeeaaally cut down on my sun #exposure not to mention the weather has been super cloudy so maybe it's that. or maybe the idea of so much change at once is scaring me even #though it seems like it's all gonna work out and ik that it will bc it always does but change is just scary. so maybe that. regardless i #wish i would just fucking calm down i'm miserable

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misteria247 · 2 years ago

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Saw the new brackets for tomorrow's competition and I saw mine going up against the one and only Apocalyptic Cass au. (The really fantastic one that's absolutely stunning like it's lowkey one of my favorites).

I just wanna say it's been an honor gentlemen shsgsgsgsgsfs.

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mainfaggot · 1 year ago

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Hi guys I'm sitting under a tree on the side of a road in the suburbs bc i ran out of breath while biking uphill LOL

#everytime i go up this road i have to sit down afterwards bc it gets me so tired after hfjdkaks #ppl always stare out of their car windows so curiously bc im on someones lawn right next to a busy road ...#like stop staring im just chilling #idgaf im too breathless from.exercise to feel anxious rn lmfao #z.post

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taniushka12 · 2 years ago

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The thing abt me is that i only come out when its strictly necessary for Me to do it, otherwise id just tell someone that knows im a guy to spread the news so when i arrive i dont need to have That conversation at the very least

#fun fact when i came out to my dad he asked me if he could tell my aunt (frm my moms side) and it was like sure.#fastforward a day and my aunt Calls me asking me if she could tell the rest of the family and it was like By All Means!#it saves a lot of time lmfao #tani's personal shit #saying this bc my uncle frm my dad's side keeps inviting us for lunch and now that i started the tshots itd be really uncomfortable #if he + his wife dont know.... yknow?#yes i told my granny and she always gets it wrong but she's the only person allowed to misgender me bc shes got memory problems so w/e #but my uncles gotta know... by tomorrow.....#wont lie im a bit anxious abt how that'll go bc both of my cousins are different flavors of transphobes last time we touched the subject..#but i Am his favorite and only nephew so....... anyway. im not the one having this conversation anyway but i still hope it goes well #anyway goodnight

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patronsaintofgirls · 2 years ago

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#i’ll delete this in the morning probably #i just don’t have anyone to text about it right now so here i am. lmfao #i am like…. becoming increasingly convinced that i have ocd and i’ve been researching it a LOT #and it’s very validating 👍🏻 i recently came to the conclusion that a. Something is really wrong #and b. whatever it is has been debilitating for years #and i’ve never told ANYBODY about intrusive thoughts or anything because i always thought i was just Like That u know #but now i’m like wait a minute i’m NOT actually awful??? this is an illness??#anyways hopefully gonna call a psychologist tomorrow if i’m less anxious. thanks for reading i guess lmao #thanks for letting me hide in the tags

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heirloommtomatoes · 2 years ago

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my hormonal acne is coming back after going off the birth control pill :|

#ugghghhhhhh.#so sick of it.#it's in weird places too like my cheeks and forehead which has never happened before #it's not so bad but i feel like it's just gonna get worse #it just sucks man #like is this gonna be something i deal with my whole life now?#it's so limiting and humiliating #and all my other health issues are coming back too #the debilitatingly painful periods #having a weird ass cycle #fatigue #but ON the pill i'm insanely anxious and depressed as always #plus i just hate what it does to my body in general + increased stroke risk #and a billion other side effects lmao...#so i can't go back on it #even tho my skin looks great on it lmfao.#ugh.#it just suckssss mannnnnn #and i know it's whatever but i'm seeing my partner in 2 weeks and i just don't wanna have to worry about feeling self conscious :/#and i DO #and my teeth are moving but i can't afford a retainer or anything so i just feel so ugly sometimes :( balugh.#and i feel silly for even being upset about any of this #they'll heal ig #i just hope it's not a repeat of how my health was during the summer of 2020-2022 man...but it will be <3 #bc last time i got off the pill was 2019 <3 and then my health deteriorated 2020 - 2022 <3 so <3 #guhguhgughaldghbalgughhhhhhhhhhhUGHH #ellie yodels

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aloyssobek · 2 years ago

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jesus fucking christ i truly feel like my mood fluctuates between like. fine. and super low at least once a week but also bc my period is supposed to start soon it's worse and everything feels like such an effort and i feel fucking insane because i want to get better but everything is so hard all of the time like if i'm not debilitatingly sad it's fucking herculean for me to even do basic fucking tasks i feel like such an idiot and such a failure im fklawnklwejnf !! >:( the novelty wore off ages ago can my brain just be fucking normal now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! thnx

#dnt rblg #health tag #like i'll be fine #i just need to sleep #i'm just So Sick of being Aware of what my brain is thinking 24 fucking 7 #i'm always reminded of something to be sad or anxious about #oftentimes that includes myself so like. yeah #whatever. i'll take my meds and go to sleep #not that i think my meds are really working anymore lmfao

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theghostofashton · 2 years ago

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#getting a new job w really good health insurance probably (finally) means i can get back into therapy #which......thank fuck lmfao #i have been an anxious mess for so long i don't even remember what it's like not to feel that way #never truly relaxing bc i'm always finding new things to worry about #it's always been bad but the pandemic made it so much worse #but therapy is so goddamn expensive lol #i just want to not lose entire days panicking anymore #just want to be able to enjoy days off like actually enjoy them without incessant worry #so here's hoping for that in 2023 ig

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what-if-i-dee-eye-do · 2 years ago

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I wish that more ppl knew about systems as it relates to mental health. Good for you for recognizing that what I'm experiencing is anxiety, however I am a part meant to hold almost Nothing Else so it's not like it'll go away until I Stop Existing Again. but alas that's not something that you can say to (most) singlets

#who's fronting?#other #for later me #negative #like. whatever coping mechanisms singlets use never work for us bc of how the brain is split up #and it always makes it feel like our fault bc like. we're not even normal for the mentally I'll ppl lmfao #tbk for example is almost exclusively Having A Massive Fucking Breakdown and can't soothe at all and can only wait for it to End #like. sorry that grounding tips and affirmations and kind words don't work? that's literally not their fault they're a kid just leave them #ALONE because that was always better than whatever they (we) were being put thru #'oh you're anxious try this grounding tip or breathing' like no sorry if I suppress it again then this part will just come back later #because I was never allowed to feel anything (and if I was I wash shamed for it)#*was not wash

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chillabuse · 1 year ago

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TW IN TAGS: MENT OF FATHERS, SH, AND IMPLIED AB*SE

#I want to die #I am so fucking depressed and anxious all the time #anytime my dad is around I get so anxious and on-edge #I don’t feel safe and haven’t talked to him in a week #my mom is mad at me bc I relapsed #and they’re like. the opposite of a shallow wound #lmfao #things have been terrible at home. I’m always leaving the house or the common areas when he’s around #I wanna relapse but I think my mom will be able to sense it #bc I try to let these ones air out bc I didn’t suture them this time #and if I keep them covered they ooze and it’s nasty as fuck #so she knows what they look like rn #but I meannnn I already did it so why not lmao #trigger warning #tw #negative #ab me #ab dad #this is mine #trauma #the only thing keeping me here are my dogs. that’s literally it #cuz I don’t think they’ll know what happened to me if I leave #so I don’t wanna do that to them

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