#alvareider headcanon

[schneider-man-imagines]

okay but if anyone has alvareider requests, please bombard me with them because i’m in a huge mood

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

Important alvareider question: What petnames do you think they would have for each other when they start dating? And, do you think Penelope would start calling Schneider by his name instead? I have the headcanon that *everyone* knows they are dating because one by one, each memeber of the family heard her call him 'Pat' in random moments.

I left this question in my inbox for way too long, sorry @actuallylukedanes for basically my whole adult life and had no reason to be awkward about anything with them–I just feel really weird, and sort of fake, trying to use terms of endearment. I don’t know if it’s an autistic thing, though that’s my best theory, because I know some people on the spectrum have quirks about how they relate to people’s names.

So it was hard for me to try and headcanon Alvareider petnames when I don’t even know how to mentally be someone who uses them. But since I’m trying to answer outstanding ODAAT asks this week, no matter how tricky they are…I like ‘babe’ for Penelope to Schneider, on a casual everyday basis, and I think she would also tend to call him things that don’t sound romantic but in a really loving voice, cuz that’s kind of their dynamic already. With them, I could see her using ‘dummy’ as a petname, lol. 

For Schneider, I think he’d probably use all the endearments he could get away with, because worst-case scenario she laughs at the really cheesy ones, and he likes making her laugh so it’s kind of a win-win. ‘Sweetheart’ is one I like for him, also ‘darling,’ but with seriously random old-fashioned ones thrown in like ‘honeybunch’ or ‘angel.’ I mean, I think this ask might be from before s3 came out, but as of now, canon Schneider is someone who spent his free time brainstorming petnames for Syd and Elena when they didn’t even want him to! I’m guessing he would get creative.

And my headcanon about Schneider’s first name has always been (since back when I wrote my very first Alvareider fic and we didn’t even know what his name was yet) that Penelope still calls him Schneider, most of the time--but when she does call him Pat, she uses his first name like a caress, like a precious thing, so that it always gets his attention or hits him hard or is otherwise meaningful. Because there’s a kind of intimacy to it that just makes it feel like love. 

In which case, your headcanon would absolutely match up with mine, because nobody could hear her say his name like that and not figure out what was going on between them. (Even if maybe she does it a couple times before they’re actually together, because she has The Feelings without knowing it yet and it makes her feel closer to him to use his name now.)

[jicklet]

Penelope’s sitting with Schneider in his apartment after dinner, just the two of them. He’s going on about more about seahorses than she’d ever thought she’d wanted to know (one of his many hobbies that’s managed to stick), and she finds herself watching his face more than listening. He really does love those little guys, she thinks, smiling softly. 

Schneider loves, it’s what he does. 

Elena and Alex have both left, started college, and although they’re her babies and she’ll never stop worrying, it’s less of a constant these days. Things feel a little more settled, like she can catch her breath. And in the calm, she’s begun thinking of herself, and what she might want after all. 

She realizes Schneider’s stopped, grinning at her expectantly, and he must’ve asked her something or made a joke and she’s meant to roll her eyes--but she’s missed her line. 

His expression turns questioning, and she knows the look on her own face must be something along the lines of unbearably fond. 

“I’m sorry,” though she doesn’t sound it. “I wasn’t listening.” 

And he’s just started to look offended when she leans in and presses her lips to his. 

He goes still, and she can feel the question in it. A Schneider who’s conscious is a Schneider in motion, always trying to adapt, and she likes the idea that she’s made him pause. 

She presses against him a little more firmly, decisively, and feels him start to smile, tilting his head to respond, warm hand sliding gently into her curls. 

It’s not that she needs this, needs a man, not in that empty lonely way she’d felt when she was younger. She’s happy, surrounded by love and purpose as she is. Her blessings are many and her life feels fulfilled. 

But she’s begun to think she deserves something nice. And it just so happens, she’d like to be nice to him.

[jonofdany-moved]

Okay, so the building is kinda old. Not in bad conditions, but a oldie but goodie. And so one time they needed to make some repairs on the rooftop and redo the waterproofing (or whatever that’s called in english, okay?). Point is, Schneider has to leave his appartment for a few days, and Lydia insists he can stay with them.

She says there’s no need for an hotel when he can stay in her room and she can sleep with Penelope, plus it’s not going to change anything since he is in their apartment all day every day anyway! Somehow, between being tired from work and Schneider’s puppy eyes, Penelope accepts.

Everything is okay until one morning, she realizes Schneider and her mom team up to make breakfast and the kid’s lunch. And hers. Ok, kinda weird but not out of character for her crazy mami and friend, so she moves on from that.

But then Alex, half asleep and stressed because he has a test of a subject he’s not doing all that well, says “Thanks, papi” when Schneider hands him his lunch. No one says a word, until Elena is laughing out loud, waking up Alex who realizes what he has done. They tease him all week about it, Penelope reasons it’s like when a kid calls their teacher ‘mom’. Nothing else.

Next is Elena kissing Schneider’s cheek when he has to take her and Alex to school since Penelope was running late for work. Alex has already left the car and she’s listening to Schneider wishing her a good day when she, in autopilot, leans on and kisses his cheek. “Bye”, she murmurs and it’s not until she’s half way into second period when she realizes what happens. 

Back at home, no one seems to know, she secretly thanks him for not giving this intel to Alex. She reasons that with her tías and tíos, they always greet hello and goodbye with a kiss, and he is her sort-of-goofy-and-weird-white-uncle anyway.

Finally, that week Penelope gets sick with a little cold and calls in sick to work. When she goes for her sopa de pollo, she greets everyone at the table with a kiss on the cheek or top of their head, then goes to the kitchen where Lydia has her soup ready. Penelope greets her half dead, half asleep still and then she greets Schneider.

She gets on her tip toes and he leans down thinking she wants to tell him something when Penelopes pecks his lips and says ‘good morning’ before passing him to take her all mighty soup and go back to bed.

There’s silence between everyone, Schneider is still in the same position he was when Penelope kissed him and his face is suddenly so red, he makes his way to her room when she gets out and rans into him the hallway.

“I’M SO SORRY!” both said at the same time.

“What? What are you sorry about?” She asks.

“Bueno, we are leaving now. Come on, nos vamos!” Lydia announces, hurrying the kids to get out the apartment. “But you can stay, Schneider. Forever if you want!” and then she’s gone.

[fandammit]

Hi! Sorry to bother you but do you have any headcanons about people's reactions/opinions when Schneider and Penelope start dating? And I am not only talking about family but also friends, colleagues, ex partners etc.

It’s not a bother at all -- I love headcanon requests! 

And I’ve thought about this a lot, and have many, MANY different ideas, but one that I’ve enjoyed thinking about quite a bit recently is this one: 

So, Penelope and Schneider decide to tell the whole family -- including Syd and Dr. B -- that they’re dating. Penelope is a little nervous about it, but she’s also relieved. She’s really not into keeping secrets 

Especially not one this big or important 

See, she and Schneider have just started dating and she wants him to know that she’s serious about him and about this 

And she also knows him well enough now to know even though he’d totally go along with hiding it for as long as she wanted, it’d also make him feel less than and generally unwanted and that is the last thing she wants for him or for them 

Still, she’s nervous -- she’s spent so long acting like Schneider wasn’t even a possibility that she’s worried that Alex and Elena and, god, her mami, won’t be able to take their relationship seriously 

So she sits them all down and says that she has an announcement to make 

Or, not an announcement, just something she wants to share 

A really good thing that makes her really happy and she hopes for that reason it’ll make them happy, too 

And then everyone is looking at her expectantly, so she just takes a deep breath, then looks over at Schneider and takes his hand in hers, laces their fingers together and says -- 

Schneider and I are dating 

Then she waits for the fallout -- wonders who will start laughing (probably her mami), who will gasp loudly and dramatically (probably also her mami and maybe Elena too), who will just stare blankly like they can’t believe it (probably Alex, and maybe Syd, too) 

None of that happens 

Instead, everyone just looks completely unsurprised, just glances at one another -- she actually sees Alex turn to Elena and shrug before looking down at his phone 

Her mami gets off the couch and loudly huffs -- that is it? Lupita, I have known this since New Year’s

“Yeah,” Syd says, laughing and shaking their head. “Watching When Harry Met Sally on New Year’s Eve together was a little on the nose” 

“Ok, first of all, that just happened to be on TV that night” 

“And secondly...New Year’s?” She splutters. And she’s about to say that’s impossible when Elena jumps up and points at them, then gestures between her and Syd 

“Well, Syd and I knew when you guys chaperoned our Winter Formal dance together, and that was in early December, so I win” 

Alex rolls his eyes 

“It’s not a competition, Elena” 

He looks at his mami and Schneider, then grins 

“But if it was, I’d win, because I knew when mami got in that car accident and that was in October” 

He flashes a gloating grin at Penelope, then a wide, happy one at Schneider 

“And it was weird at first and all but now, I have to say that I’m really happy for the both of you and glad you finally told us” 

Penelope glances at Schneider, who’s torn between being joyful and being confused

Honestly, she’s right there with him 

So she squeezes his hand and looks back over at Alex

“That’s great, sweetie, and I’m really glad but -- “ 

“But I beat all of you,” Dr. B announces with a wide smile of triumph. “Because I knew when Schneider first started taking Penelope to lunch on Wednesdays, and that was all the way back in August.” 

And the whole group just nods in agreement and declares him the winner -- though her mami complains loudly that Leslie did not tell her about it 

And Penelope is just staring open mouthed at the group, because this is somehow both better and worse than she thought it was gonna be 

And Schneider is just standing next to her, trying to gauge her reaction and keep a neutral face but really just too happy to be able to hide it 

“Seriously, mami,” Elena says, “it’s like you guys weren’t even trying to hide it” 

"That’s because there was nothing to hide,” she says, throwing her hands up 

And now everyone’s looking at them, surprised and confused 

“What do you mean?” Alex says 

“Well, we haven’t been dating since December,” Schneider finally says 

“And we definitely weren’t together in either October or August,” Penelope finishes up 

Of course now she gets the stunned silence she was initially expecting  

“So when did you two start dating then?” Syd asks

Penelope glances over at Schneider and smiles, leaning against him 

“Our first official date was last Friday” 

And apparently she’s all sorts of off when it comes to predicting her family, because it’s actually Elena who laughs loudly, Alex who gasps dramatically and her mami who just sits and stares at her like she can’t believe it 

“I should’ve known that I wouldn’t win,” Dr. B says. “I never win.” 

“You mean to tell me that you two danced THREE slow dances together at Winter Formal and kept finding excuses to touch each other all night and you weren’t dating?” Elena demands 

“The kids are at your school are so good, there’s nothing else to do at those dances but dance! And we were not finding excuses to touch each other,” Penelope says, feeling weirdly defensive

“So Schneider nearly crashed his own car getting to you at the hospital after your accident and stayed the entire time and snuck you in lunch, dinner and a chocolate shake at 2 a.m. and you two weren’t dating?” Alex asks, completely incredulous 

“Ok, to be fair, do you really think I’d force your mom to eat hospital food if I could help it though?” Schneider says, as if he’s offended by the very idea 

“What about when you two went to watch the meteor shower together and ended up falling asleep in the middle of nowhere?” 

“What about when we had to get the apartment fumigated and you stayed over at his place for two days?”

“And that time he got a concussion playing raquetball and you let him lay his head in your lap and tell you all his movie franchise ideas so he wouldn’t fall asleep?" 

And finally she just has to throw her hands up and tell everyone to just stop 

Because all those times, they were not together in any way, shape or form

Their first official date was last Friday, like she just said 

"And I’m guessing no one has any questions or concerns or anything like that?”

And they all look at each other, then back at her and Schneider and shake their heads

“I have a question for the two of you,” her mami says, looking at the two of them with a deeply serious expression on her face

And Penelope takes a deep breath because she was afraid of this, but she just stands up straight and wraps both her hands around Schneider’s and draws up closer to him

“What is it, mami?” 

And Lydia just looks down at their intertwined hands, at the way Penelope leans into Schneider, at how he looks down at her daughter with a wide, bright smile she doesn’t think she’s ever seen before 

She tips her head to the side and crosses her arms 

“What the hell took you two so long?” 

[sventheolsen]

I know posts having discussed Penelope having to choose between Schneider and potential love interests but

Imagine Penelope getting irrationally jealous of Avery

- She cant go to his apartment at night when shes having a panic attack again bc that raises too many questions when Avery is there

- So she sits in her room alone desperately messaging Schneider her deepest and darkest thoughts

- Schneider ofc even at 2am responds bc unknown to anyone shes on a special alert that pings even when his phone is on vibrate

- He sneaks in and gives her the sweetest speech and shes gripping onto his shoulder tightly

- and gets a pang of something in her chest when Schneider smiles and leaves to be with avery and something Drops in her chest

- Pen has never thought about having to compete for schneiders attention before and it unsettles aher for reasons shed not examine

- or Schneider really really really wants to have an official Alverez-Avery sit down and get to know you session through a boardgame night

- Penelope keeps lying about having no time or keeps brushing him off and trying not to feel at the obviously hurt expression Schneider has

- "I just want my best friend and my girlfriend to get to know each other Pen"

- Pen huffs and caves in but grows increasingly irritated at how in sync Schneider and Avery are in Monopoly and keep winning against her and Alex

- "You are perfect for each other" Lydia announces at the end of the night after Avery leaves and Schneider sits by the couch and grins broadly

- and something inside Penelope snaps

- "Mami, you never once said that about me and Victor" they dissolve into a loud argument in espanol while Schneider stares confusedly

- Schneider tries to apologise and takes it as Lydia showing favoritism to him compared to her failed relationships

- She doesnt try to correct him instead orders him to leave

- She starts working late nights and skipping dinners when Schneider is there

- She doesnt text him anymore when shes upset something about boundaries

- and during one of those terrible times she realises WHY

- she needs him. she misses him and she loves him-

- and thats where you leave it at folks while Pen represses this thought for the rest of the season

- cue the inevitable makeup episode where Schneider is relieved that Pen is not mad at him and bullshits an excuse about how shes just unhappy with the lack of love in her life

- cue pining and mutual obliviousness yall its perfect

[wittywallflower]

@wolfshadow thaaaaank you. I called into work today and this is definitely a better way to spend my time :D

1) Family vacation that includes Schneider

Penelope really wants to take a family trip before Elena goes off to college because while she is so, so proud of Elena getting into Bryn Mawr, she is already feeling a little panicked about her daughter moving so far away.

But Lydia still hates flying, and Dr. B has been letting Penelope run the office more as he starts to consider retirement, so its hard to find enough time to take a trip before the end of summer

Schneider blasts through a dozen suggestions but especially wants to take them hiking in British Columbia. Not a single Alvarez is interested in that. Most of them grew up in LA, they aren’t exactly one with nature.

He’s kinda sarcastic when he suggests Disneyland because it hardly counts as a trip when its only an hour away, plus its such a cliche, right? Alex is too old to really experience any childlike wonder anymore and Elena never enjoys huge displays of blatant consumerism. She probably has 3 articles at ready discussing the environmental toll of theme parks.

But no one voices a single objection because Penelope’s eyes start shining at the idea of her family in Mickey Mouse ears and she starts imagining (hallucinating?) her kids when they were younger, back when she could barely afford to take them to a street fair let alone Disneyland. Sometimes her papi shows up in the imagined memories; sometimes Victor is there and they had never separated. Weirdly, Schneider is always present in these visions.

Schneider is pumped when Penelope agrees. Yeah, he might have been joking when he suggested it. But he’s totally been to Disneyland like 6 times. All the sights and sounds, the frenetic energy, the sugar overload from all the churros... its like an innocent natural high that doesn’t trigger his addictive personality.

Penelope starts fishing change out of the sofas and recycling cans for extra spending money but Schneider insists on paying. Penelope hates it when he spends money on them like this. Bringing over a load of groceries he is going to eat most of it is one thing, but Disneyland isn’t cheap and even though they are comfortable financially these days, it still feels like charity.

Schneider finds several clever ways around this. He insists he has to treat Elena, a combination farewell and birthday present. Schneider has never been able to shake the feeling that he still owes Alex after that ugly scene in the laundry room so obviously Penelope has to let Schneider do this for him. Dr B has an extra pass to the park he never uses, so Lydia only needs to be kept hydrated.

They’re a little worried about how Lydia will manage all the walking until Alex shows her a couple viral videos of older folks doing stunts on electric scooters set to rap music. She is willing to be convinced that a Rascal can be cool so she can join the fun. “And when you get tired, papito, you can ride with me.” Sometimes she forgets Alex isn’t a little boy anymore and wont exactly fit into the basket.

Once convinced, Penelope goes all out. She is hunting groupons and researching where to find the cheapest deals in the park. She has matching t-shirts and caps made for everyone, to make it easy to find each other if they get separated

The best part of the entire endeavor for Schneider is when Penelope hands him the cap embroidered with ALVAREZ, and the shirt with his name screen-printed across the shoulders like a jersey. Everyone has a matching one of their own. He’s never felt more included in their lives as when he is strutting around with the Alvarez family name written all over him.

Elena throws up. Twice. But she’s determined not to spoil the day for anyone. Eventually she figures out what part of the rides to close her eyes for, then she doesn’t feel nearly as dizzy after. Schneider stops buying her churros though.

Penelope goes on a few rides when the kids beg her to but mostly enjoys the mami moments of waving to Elena and Alex as the rides spin them closer and then away again.

When Lydia needs a break from the sun, Schneider keeps Penelope company as she watches. The childlike part of him is buzzing to run on to the next ride, the next cotton candy stand, but mostly he enjoys how the scene feels. Standing next to the best mom he knows, seeing the joy on the kids’ faces as they wave madly at him on their way past.

Schneider never expected to have the life others had with a happy home, a partner for mutual support, kids to watch grow up, taking family vacations together, sharing good times as well as bad. He knew his addiction would never let him build that kind of life. Yet somehow... here he was. With everything he never thought he deserved.

He is not getting choked up with standing less than 5 yards away from someone in a Donald Duck costume. He just isn’t.

As the fireworks fade from the sky at the end of the day, the exhausted family prepares to leave. Elena is bogged down with bags. It turns out blatant consumerism is easier to ignore once you find the lgbt pride merchandise section in the gift shops. Schneider bought her every single thing she stopped to coo over. Alex is regretting his shoe choice. Yeah, he looks fly, but there’s zero arch support in the trendy sneakers and his feet are sore.

Lydia managed to kill the battery in the electric scoot when papito convinced her to try stunts with it and they spent 20 minutes doing donuts outside the bathroom while Elena was puking. They almost hit like 3 people and it was the best thing for everyone that Penelope was inside helping her daughter clean up

Lydia’s cane was.... somewhere in their mess of merchandise. Possibly in the bag that contained authentic Disney mouse-ear caps with embroidered names. Rather than stop to dig it out, Schneider hefted the tiny woman up for a piggyback ride. She giggling like a teenager and the aroma of violets managed to overpower the theme park smells.

Instead of taking the tram to the parking lot they end up at one of the resort hotels and Penelope is too tired to scold Schneider for booking them a suite without asking. Instead she ignores how much it must have cost him and just thanks her lucky stars she didn’t have to make the drive home.

She barely manages to get Elena and Alex through a shower before they collapse, too tired to even complain about sharing a bed with each other

Lydia is fast asleep in the bed Penelope cant wait to crawl into herself.

First she wants to thank Schneider again for giving them this day. Its hard for her to accept a big gift like this, even when she knows the money doesn’t mean anything to him. But she takes his hand, trying to convey how much it means to her that he wants to give this kind of joy to her children just because he loves them.

They fall asleep on the sofa, hands still linked, heads pillowed on each other, both still wearing their matching ALVAREZ gear.

This got long, imma have to do another post for the other prompt. Thaaaaaank you again for giving me an excuse to rave about the Alvarez family for a bit.

[lisbonsteresa]

Blease point me towards more alvareider theorists.... I’m.... desperate

aaAAAAaaah let me see.....(I literally only found out they had like, established fans this Friday so I’m just as new to this as you might be whoops)

I know @actuallylorelaigilmore has written some great metas and fic i think? (honestly maybe I should defer this list to them also this is the second time I’ve @-ed them today sorry..... @minyoungah has some great posts (this little possible future headcanon is a fave)

from what I’ve seen @fandammit it has some wonderful fics too, and the gifs @sisterzelda​ and @mersephesie​ make are *chef’s kiss*, and that might be all I’ve got I’m new ok!!

[captainafresh]

anyone have any Alvareider headcanon requests or me? :)

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

for sleepover weekend i have a fandom headcanon-y question for you! In an Established Alvareider situation, who would bring up the subject of consolidating households? Who would move in with who? When/how do you think that would happen?

this is such a good question! (from forever ago! my inbox is drowning) and i think it would totally depend for me on a ton of other variables. which is why sometimes i’m terrible at headcanons, especially with these two–because i’ve written so many stories for them and spun them in so many different directions (secret affair! pregnancy! regular dating! fake dating!) that all of those versions exist in my head at once, equally alive and valid up against canon. 

which is a terrible answer lol because the true response would be ‘i could argue every side of how that could work out’ but that’s not fun. 

so i’m going to just pick one. in an Established Alvareider situation where, let’s say, avery never showed up at the wedding, and post-s3 penelope slowly realized she was glad he was single and focused on his recovery, because maybe he was also important to her in a ‘would like to make out please’ way, and therefore it was her who made the first move? i think they would date while carefully stepping around the bigger questions like that for at least a few months, because after all, they’re in the same building and he’s already at her house all the time–why introduce any more change into the situation than they have to? 

in that case, i like the idea of them finally having to figure it out because either alex or lydia presses the issue. elena’s going off to college or is already there, so it doesn’t matter that much to her, she just wants them to be happy–but lydia wants to know about Serious Things like marriage and home and committment, that’s always what she’s wanted for penelope and also for schneider for as long as she’s known him. 

and alex has coveted schneider’s awesome apartment since the first time he saw it. sure, once he’s playing professional baseball he’ll be on his way to owning mansions…but until then, he’s got a few years left at home. if he has the option to spend that time in a giant room, with daily access to a giant tv and all the best games, instead of his tiny room? somebody needs to tell him that now.

i think that (thanks to strong lobbying from both lydia and alex; schneider’s in favor of whatever penelope decides) penelope and alex would move in with schneider and lydia would stay in the family apartment, moving herself into one of the proper bedrooms. they would still have family meals and coffee and lots of hanging out time in that space downstairs, but it would give pen and schneider more privacy and once alex left for college as well, as long as lydia remained in good health, it would be easy for them to be able to check on her lots without making her feel like she was less independent. 

i also think it would work out well for schneider because it’s clear that his apartment is full of all the cool stuff he likes and could ever want…but there’s a reason he spends more time downstairs than he seems to in his penthouse. maybe once most of the family is there with him, he’ll like it more. :)

[jonofdany-moved]

Watching Schneider take Elena to work with him to repair stuff around the building, It suddenly occurred to me that this can parallel a little with what Penelope mentions earlier that episode about her and Berto?

She said that her best time with her Papi was to go back home in the car with him, because they spend a lot of time together and they would have good conversations alone.

I imagine Elena had to spent a lot of time alone with Schneider as he was teaching her around and all that, and they are curiously alike in little things that manage to build a good relationship between them.

So the headcanon now is that spending time with him gave Elena the chance to talk about things she feels she may not be able to talk with other memembers of her family, mostly about Syd and liking girls, like wondering how someone so silly like Schneider gets to date so much (”I can’t believe I’m going to say this, but teach me your secrets”, “Just be you!” “THERE’S NO WAY YOU GET TO SLEEP AROUND JUST BEING YOU!”) and, “... You really are straight?” “No?” “NO?! WHY YOU DIDN’T SAY ANYTHING?! OH MY GOD, I COULD HAVE ASKED YOU--” “That’s why.”

Elena once thinks, “this is really nice”, and to banter with him is a lot of fun. He’s such a doofus, but he always listens to her and he always seems to learn whatever she is telling him. It’s such a change from school and sometimes home, where she is hardly listened to.

One day Lydia comments to Penelope how similar this is to her and Berto having time together on the car, and it gets Penelope thinking about how close she has allowed Schneider to get to her children, how much he means to them, their education and grow. It makes her wonder how she didn’t realize before, and how it doesn’t actually bother her or freaks her out.

It makes sense now why that one guy she was seeing didn’t like Schneider and then, it hits her like cold water in the morning. How much Schneider fits with them. She sees Elena and Alex laughing together at how bad Schneider is doing with some game they are making him play in the livingroom, and how normal it would be for her to sit down at his side and wrap herself around him while the kids laugh.

Maybe she should talk to him.

(Or not. Maybe she should just bottle it all up like a good Cuban and wonder in silence)

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

penelope and schneider for the ask meme

who’s the cuddler: Schneider more than Penelope, who really likes *being* cuddled. But she’s not opposed to cuddling him when he needs it.

who makes the bed: I think Penelope does, out of habit, until she realizes Schneider’s kind of a neat freak and actually enjoys the process. Then she enjoys the extra few minutes with her coffee every morning while he takes care of it.

who wakes up first: Between her years in the military and her years as a mom, Penelope’s internal alarm clock is unavoidable. So she wakes up first a lot. But Schneider goes through periods of new interests and enthusiasm for life that have him out of bed before the sun, some weeks. When Pen gets up first, Schneider always follows. When Schneider gets up even earlier than her, Penelope groans into her pillow and buries herself in the blankets and refuses to rise until it’s actually morning…or until he brings her surprise breakfast in bed, which he does sometimes just for fun.

who has the weird taste in music: Schneider, though he insists Penelope is really the weird one for being so stuck in the past and unwilling to branch out into underexplored genres. Penelope tries to be supportive and listen to his new discoveries for the first few months they’re together. But between ‘zouk’ and ‘neurofunk’ and something called ‘catstep’ that she’s pretty sure has nothing to do with cats, she reaches her limit quickly. They limit music playing while they’re hanging out to things they both like, and take turns choosing what to play in the car.

who is more protective: Penelope is more loudly, aggressively protective in all situations. Schneider would never want to seem like he doesn’t think she can handle herself, when he knows full well that she could beat HIM up if she needed to…but in his own quieter, anxious way he’s as overprotective as Penelope is in her most intense moments. He’s just more likely to throw money and lawyers at a situation and try and defuse things first. (A couple of times when he wanted to keep Penelope out of it he maaaaaay have punched a racist asshole in the face and then thrown money and lawyers at the situation afterwards. He’s not proud of that but it seemed like a good idea at the time. Pen is proud of him for it and thinks he doesn’t know.)

who sings in the shower: Both of them. Schneider thinks he’s a rock star and Penelope stops teasing him about it as soon as she realizes it’s a soft spot. Penelope thinks she’s a pop diva and Schneider likes it when she wakes him up to sad 90s ballads.

who cries during movies: Penelope cries sometimes, Schneider cries almost every time. Pet movies, buddy movies, dramas, romcoms…he cries, and he doesn’t care who knows it.

who spends the most while out shopping: Schneider. And sometimes they fight about it. Eventually they work out a compromise on the money stuff, but Schneider’s not usually someone who looks at prices and does math, whereas Penelope tries to bring her own drinks to restaurants. So it’s always going to be Schneider who spends more.

who kisses more roughly: I mean, define roughly. Penelope can be more forceful, and more likely to take over–but Schneider is incredibly enthusiastic because he’s kissing PENELOPE and also when he’s half-asleep and not really thinking about it he’s less likely to be gentle…so I think it depends on the moment. 

who is more dominate: Penelope. I feel like this is a rare fandom-wide consensus among the shippers. Pen, no question, and Schneider really likes it that way.

my rating of the ship from 1-10: About a 15. This ship is so nearly canon while also being not canon at all that you will get sucked into it and not be able to climb back out. This OTP is the tol & smol trope, the hold my flower trope, the friends to lovers trope, the slow burn trope, the found family trope, etc etc. It’s almost TOO good. But only almost. :)

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

Please consider pen sleeping in Schneider’s T-shirt’s and them coming down to her thighs because of the size difference - A

I actually love this idea so much that I put it one of the chapters of my fake dating fic for them :D but since I didn’t go into that much detail I now present to you some headcanons:

The first time, they aren’t even dating. Penelope occasionally sleeps over when Avery’s out of town and Schneider’s having a rough night. They watch movies and play video games and talk and she thinks that if only Victor had trusted her to be there for him half as much as Schneider does, they might have made it through his recovery together. It doesn’t occur to her that she compares her best friend to her ex-husband an awful lot these days. When she gets salsa on her pajamas in an accident Schneider dubs ‘The Great Saucesplosion of 2019,’ he offers her one of his shirts while her PJs are in the laundry. She argues with him about whose fault the incident was and forgets to feel weird about sitting curled up on his couch in just his shirt. It smells like his detergent, which reminds her of his hugs, and she has only good dreams that night.

After they get together, Schneider is as casual about sharing his clothes as he is about everything else–which is to say, very. It makes him smile whenever Penelope leaves the room and somehow comes back in one of his shirts and he isn’t even sure where she found it or where her own clothes went. She loves them though, he spends way too much money to get the super-soft cotton ones she always wants her hands on or under, and then of course she finds an excuse to sleep in them instead of her Target pajamas.

She steals his shirts whenever she thinks she can get away with it, sneaking them home to wear when she can’t see him and misses him and needs to feel safe like she does in his arms. It works a lot of the time, and Schneider never complains. As soon as he figures out where his t-shirts are disappearing to, he just buys extras. When he has to travel and she can’t go with him, Penelope starts finding extra shirts tucked into her dresser or under her pillow, shirts that she can tell he wore before leaving them for her.

When it’s too cold, she’ll wear her long pajama bottoms–and still find an excuse to borrow his shirt along with them half the time. When it’s warm enough that she can be comfortable in just his shirt, it tends to eventually get the better of Schneider, who is perpetually distracted by her legs and her skin and her everything. It’s not why she likes them…but it is a nice bonus.

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

Headcanon for Alvareider and/or Sylena???

Cuz October is finally here, Halloween Alvareider & Sylena headcanons!!

Syd and Elena have absolutely no chill when it comes to their Halloween costumes. They start planning months in advance, and go through several rounds of ideas before settling on the biggest and best one. The winning set is always super geeky. They don’t care at all about being ‘too old’ for Halloween. Alex makes fun of them but ends up getting their help every year with dressing to impress at parties.

Penelope stopped dressing up for Halloween as soon as her kids decided they didn’t need her to go trick-or-treating with them anymore. Once she and Schneider are together, though, they wear costumes to hand out candy. His enthusiasm is contagious. He adores all things Halloween, especially getting dressed up in costumes that have some political or pop culture reference most people don’t get. Penelope and Elena gently-but-firmly steer him away from offensive ideas after the Stephen Hawking debacle.

Pen refuses to dress up in cheesy matching outfits, no matter how excited Schneider is for Halloween–she won’t be ‘one of those couples.’ Lydia doesn’t share her daughter’s objections, and occasionally dons a costume she only kind of understands just because it makes Schneider happy.

The family has always given out fun-sized bags of candy for trick-or-treaters in the building, but after their first year as a couple Penelope gives in to Schneider’s persistence about adding king-size candy bars to the mix. He can afford it, and he loves watching kids’ faces light up at the door.

Syd and Elena step outside their comfort zone on the last Halloween before graduation, and attend an LGBTQ-centric party thrown by a local community center. Among a ton of Supergirls, Xenas and Buffys, they hit it off with a couple dressed like WayHaught and meet up with them for game nights the rest of the year.

Penelope bought pumpkins for carving when Elena and Alex were little, but only twice. After the novelty wore off, Alex decided getting covered in pumpkin guts was too gross, and Elena was easily frustrated when her jack-o-lanterns turned out less perfect than she envisioned them. Years after their last family pumpkin disaster, Schneider takes a class in pumpkin carving and decides to devote himself to the art…which is when Elena learns Syd picked it up as a hobby as a kid and is actually pretty great at carving elaborate decorations.

send me headcanon asks!!

[fandammit]

You know what would be a nice parallel?

If somewhere down the line -- say in season 4 or 5 -- after Penelope and Schneider have been together for a bit (allow me to dream y'all ok) and they're sitting watching Alex's baseball game together. There's a couple next to them with a baby who is just enamored with Schneider -- keeps reaching for him, grabbing his glasses, pulling at his ridiculously styles hair. And Schneider just lets him, smiles and laughs it off every time the mother apologizes for her baby's behavior. And Penelope sees this -- sees how good Schneider is with the baby, how much he's smiling -- and that familiar weight of dread starts to sit heavy on her chest.

She doesn't say anything on their drive home, just smiles and nods as Schneider talks about the plays Alex made like she wasn't there with him watching them. She never minds it, though. She likes how excited he always is about Alex, how proud he sounds. Besides, she knows how much he hates having serious conversations in the car, how much it reminds him of conversations he's had with his father. So she waits until they get back to the apartment.

"Hey," he says the minute the walk in the door. He reaches over and grabs her hand. "What's wrong?"

"What do you mean?"

She knows she should just come out and say it, but there's a part of her that's scared, that's worried about what might come next.

Schneider tilts his head at her, narrows his eyes.

"Something's bugging you." He squeezes her hand. "Ever since the game." He crinkles his nose as he looks up and tries to think. "Was it because I said I don't like Hot Cheetos? Because that mostly stems from the fact that -- ."

She laughs. Marvels at the fact that what she used to find annoying she now just finds endearing.

"No, it's not that. Although I do think you need to give them another try." She looks down at their intertwined hands and sighs. "It's just -- you were really good with that baby today at the game."

He furrows his brows at her.

"Ok..." Then, recognition dawns on his face. "Ooooooh." He shakes his head. "Pen, you don't have to worry about that. Like, at all."

"Are you sure? Because it looked like you were really having a lot of fun with that baby." She bites the edge of her lip. "And you were really good with him."

"I mean, I have a lot of fun playing hackysack and I'm really good at it. Doesn't mean I want to become a professional hackysack player."

She laughs.

"That's not the same thing." She squints at him. "And are you really that good at hackysack?"

"Embarrassingly so."

"I think just playing it is probably the embarrassing part, babe." He shoots her an affronted look that makes her smile. She purses her lips to the side, plays with his fingers for a moment before looking back up at him. "I just -- I want you to be happy."

He gives her a long look.

"I learned to pitch a curveball over the summer so that Alex could learn how to read the ball and hit them. The other day, Elena and I built hanging bike shelves in the second garage." He glances at her, and she feels a smile tug at the corner of her mouth even as she a lump forms in the back of her throat. "I've started teaching Alex how to drive, Elena can now drive stick because I taught her and every Wednesday, I pick them up from school and take them to get ice cream." He blinks rapidly at her. "Except pretend I didn't tell you that because Lydia would hate knowing that I'm the reason they never have much of an appetite on those days." He smiles at her as she laughs.

"Pen, I don't know how to even begin decribing how happy I am. And I don't need or want kids because...well, because I already have Alex and Elena."

She swallows thickly and has to look away to keep from crying.

He must mistake it for uncertainty though, because his next words come out quickly, an edge of panic to them.

"And I know they're not really mine and you know I'd never want to replace Victor. Uh, first of all because he could definitely kick my ass and secondly because -- ."

She leans up against him and silences him with a kiss.

He smiles into the kiss and she thinks that's one of her favorite things about him -- how happy he always seems to be kissing her.

She breaks off the kiss and brushes a hand down his face.

"Are you sure?"

He smiles at her and nods.

"I'm sure." He leans down to give her another kiss. "What I have -- what we have...it's more than I ever thought I'd get to have." He shakes his head and gives her a wry smile. "God knows it's way more than I really deserve."

She shakes her head firmly at him, takes both his hands in hers.

"No, this -- all this --." She lifts their linked hands and gestures around the apartment -- to the picture of them all at Alex's championship game last season, the fire escape garden he helped Elena build, the cashmere blanket he bought her that she loves that's draped across the back of the couch. "This is exactly what you deserve." She tips her head up at him. "Ok?"

He looks down at her, at the fierce look in her eyes, the firm set of her mouth, and can't imagine saying no, can't quite believe he gets to say yes.

"Ok," he says quietly, then grins when she mock glares at him for the lingering uncertainty in his voice. "Ok," he says again, louder this time. You're right."

She smiles, then stands up on her tiptoes and kisses him.

"Of course I am."

[actuallylorelaigilmore]

Fanfic asks: 6, 8, 14, and 19?

6. What’s the last thing you read that made you laugh?

Ooh I had to think about this. Probly this Alvareider fic. because I can completely picture Penelope tossing a bucket of water on Schneider and there’s something believably hilarious about him telling himself in confusion, “It’s not raining, it doesn’t rain in L.A.”

8. Bed sharing or roommates AU?

Both but probably bed sharing. Maximum pining there, and I’m not sure I’ve read a roommates fic?

14. (For authors) Post a line of dialogue from one of your WIPs without context.

“Spider in the parlor.” “Is…is that code?”

19. What’s your favorite character headcanon?

The one that’s most important to me is the TWW one in which Toby isn’t the leak but Andrea is. I’ve talked about that one before, though, so my current favorite headcanon is from One Day At A Time, and it’s about which Hogwarts house Penelope belongs in.

She took an online quiz that said she was a Hufflepuff, and some fans seem to take that as canon proof that she is one, but it is my firm belief that Pen is a Gryffindor who, because she doesn’t see herself as being especially brave or daring but DOES put a lot of importance on caring for her loved ones, would score as a Hufflepuff on a self-administered quiz.

PENELOPE ALVAREZ IS A GRYFFINDOR YOU CAN ALL FIGHT ME

fanfic asks