#although what hurts the most is that i can barely get myself to do anything | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sanzaibian · 3 months

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I look at my watch, it’s already 3 PM. He is one hour late, although I feel that he’s not as much late as he is not coming.

I sigh, and go back to the locker room. I wanted to surprise him by waiting in the lobby shirtless, but after so much time loitering and being told off multiple times by the staff, I guess I must cut my losses. I knew that he wasn’t all that fussed about me wish for a second date in the gym, even if he seems to be a health nut, but still, ghosting me like that really hurts…

As I walk next to the mirrors in the locker room, I look at my body.

Honestly, with a body like that, guys should be drooling and yearning to be my boyfriend ! Yet, when I go on Grindr to find dates, I can only find people who will take me for a quick fuck, and never agree to anything further along… And this is why, no matter how fat my muscles are, how much hair is dusted on my body, how symmetric my face is, or just… how conventionally attractive to a gay audience I may be, I find myself waiting for a whole hour for a prince charming who will never come.

With a disappointed face, I walk towards my locker. By now, it’s no use to try and squeeze in an actual workout in addition to that whole hour full of variants of nothing – not that I really want to work out at all. However, as I reach my locker, I suddenly notice Ilham standing there in gym clothes, that he has presumably just put on.

I guess you can call him a friend ? In the barest of sense ? We do talk sometimes, only the bare minimum, but he’s always the one who leads the conversation… Well, you can’t fault me he’s so ridiculously hot without even trying, it makes me feel self-conscious even when I look how I look ! And, as if on queue, he notices my gloomy expression, and immediately confronts me about it.

“Hey Vítor ! Good workout ? Why do you look so sad like that ?” He asks, way too energetic for the situation. - Ah, it’s nothing, I had a gym date, but I was ghosted…” I answer succinctly. I don’t want to dwell on it too much. - Oh…” I can almost see the gears turning in his head, as he tries to makes sense of what I say, before he gets it. “Oh ! I’m so sorry, bro ! What a bitch to abandon you like this ! Ya know, I know a few girls I could hook you up with, I’m sure they wouldn’t do that ! - I’m sorry, girls won’t do.” I smile at his answer. “Once again, I’m gay ! - Sorry bro, I forgot again ! I swear I can make up to you !” He apologies.

He’s Azerbaijani, and due to how homosexuality is seen over there, he has a really hard time conceiving of masculine gay people. But he tries, and that’s by far the most important.

“Don’t worry, don’t worry ! But I won’t hold you up too much, especially since I already butchered my workout by waiting for him.” I urge him, as I do want to come home sooner than later. - Oh, too bad… then see you next time, bro ! Have a good afternoon ! - Have a good workout !”

He smiles to me while I wave him goodbye, visibly trying to empathize with me, before leaving the locker room in a small trot. This is how far our “friendship” goes, just simple courtesy when we see each other in the gym, which isn’t often since I don’t have a lot of time to go in the first place, and nothing beyond. I could likely try to deepen our relationship, but I feel we don’t actually have much in common, since he’s much more of a social butterfly than I’ll ever be, no matter how eager he may seem to get to know me, with all of these allusions of making me meet people or inviting me to parties.

Finally reaching my locker, I open it and find inside all my regular clothes, my phone and my other belongings, as expected. However, I also find a small piece of paper inside.

Curious, I examine it, and notice that there are actually stuff written on it. Handwritten. A secret message ? In the gym ? That’s weird…

It reads :

“You with no name and no house, do not forget who you are.”

I try to find a signature of any kind, but I do not find anything but this… warning ? poem ? I don’t really know what it’s supposed to be…

But whatever it is, it doesn’t seem to have much substance. I guess it’s not that important for me to take further notice of.

I stick the piece of paper inside my bag and take my clothes. I’m happy to have thought of taking two sets of clothing, since with loitering this long in the lobby, the staff needs to see me leaving, even if it originally was in order to have something to wear for the after-workout date. So I change, I stock everything in my bag, and leave the gym, bidding farewell to the staff at the same time.

Once I’m out of the gym, I look around to find somewhere secluded enough. I wouldn’t want to do anything in public, after all. So I walk around a bit, until I find a public bathhouse, in which I enter, since it is perfect for what I’m about to do.

See, I have quite a big secret… or rather, you know the secret, but you don’t know why it is a secret…

Suddenly, my muscles start mellowing out, my abs fading, while the rest seem to deflate. My pecs start retreating inside my body while my shoulders narrow, losing at the same time all the muscle mass making them fuse into my neck. My v-line disappears, my calves and my arms thin out, and I’m losing mass all round. At the same time, the light dusting of hair on my torso starts thinning out, just like my big beard, losing loads of length until only a few short hairs on my lip and on my chin remain. My hair also grows wildly, covering my forehead in messy coiled hair, losing any order it may have had. And as both of these processes come to an end, I lose a few centimeters of height, while my face rearranges to become more square, my facial features arrange themselves in a less symmetrical way, until it all becomes… well… not a model’s face, just a normal guy’s face.

Here is the secret : the guy that was in the gym wasn’t the real Vítor Nunes. This is the real Vítor Nunes. Just a normal guy, a bit skinny-fat, a bit twinky, a bit nerdy, but most of all an unremarkable guy. And that normal unremarkable guy gets out of his big clothes to go into his small clothes, complete with jeans and a red t-shirt. When everything is secure, I go back out to the street to head to the cafe I go to every time after the gym.

I think I owe you an explanation.

The way I look right now is the way I always looked – well, minus aging. However, one day, about a year ago if my memory serves me right, I suddenly gained the ability to transform. I still don’t know what caused it, but all of a sudden, when I concentrate, I can change my body to reflect what I have in mind.

Of course, I’m gay, so my first instinct when I discovered this gift was to give myself big muscles, and so they magically grew. God, I loved it, it was so exciting to see my muscles swell in the mirror, it’s really a one-of-a-kind experience ! However, this is also when I learned of the limits of this power : it’s actually really uncomfortable to maintain another form for too long, especially when it’s quite far from my normal form. If you have that experience, it’s a bit like when you are in high heels, everything starts to become tricky to do (don’t ask me how I know that). That’s why when I tried to become a woman, it was so uncomfortable I could barely remain like that for a few seconds before I made my boobs go away. Therefore, while I have access to a very hot persona, I can’t maintain it forever, meaning it’s not actually that useful aside from some kind of party trick.

However, the temptation was always too strong.

I used to be a virgin, both in sex and in romance, and the dream of prince charming was a reoccurring one, especially for someone as lonely as I am. However, with this power, I could spend some time in another body, in a body in which I could look like god amongst men. And so, the Vítor Nunes you saw, the one well-thought out to be as attractive for gay men as I could think of, was born. And it’s using his body that I lost my virginity in what could be its own sub-story.

But it never went beyond that, a quick one-night stand, even though I looked very hot and not very picky. I don’t even know what I am doing wrong ! Like, sure, when I’m on dates, the other guy always wants to directly fuck, but still ! Suddenly, someone hails me.

“Hey ! Vítor ! You hear me ?”

I’m jerked out of my thoughts, and quickly cobble an answer.

“Oh, er… hey, Satoshi ! I… didn’t notice you here ! - Well, I noticed.” He answers me, dryly.

He’s always been quite dry with me, and I don’t know why. We go to the same university, and are in the same curriculum in writing, although most of our classes reflect our different paths throughout this degree. So we talked in the few classes we had in common, but nothing more, really. I guess he’s the closest person I could classify as a “friend”, and even that is a stretch. Recently, though, he’s been acting quite weirdly. I know that he’s started attending the gym, and he’s also bleached his hair. I wonder if he is trying to impress someone or what...

“What are you doing in this part of town ?” He asks me. - Oh, I… I was just at the gym, I want to be healthier, you see…” I half-lie, hoping he will be convinced. - I see…” He looks at me, squinting. He doesn’t seem convinced. “Well, what matters is that you become the real you. Now, I’m sorry, but I need to go. Bye.”

What ? What was he mumbling ? I look at him as he continues his way opposite to where I’m heading. He seems to be in quite the hurry, I wonder where he’s heading… Recently, he hasn’t got a lot of time, I always find him almost avoiding talking to people, and always disappearing once class is dismissed. Is gym this much of a time-eater or does he also have something I don’t know of ? … N-not that it interests me this much, of course, that’s his own private life !

Ugh… To save myself from my own thoughts, I enter the cafe and go at the back of the file. When I’m finally at the counter, I go to order, before the woman behind the counter, Sandra, recognizes me. I’m a regular at this cafe, after all.

“Hey Vítor, I didn’t expect you this early ! - Yeah, I had something to do with someone, but he never showed up.” I once again lie by omission, though I admittedly give her a more accurate picture. - Oh, I’m so sorry for you !” She brings her hand on her mouth to empathize with me. She’s always been very expressive. “But speaking of people not showing up, I’m guessing you want an americano, like usual ? - Yes ?” I answer, unsure where she’s heading with this. - Well that’s great ! Because a kind soul actually bought you one !”

Smiling, she gives me an already prepared americano, to which a piece of paper is attached, that I take with a confused look.

“And… to whom I owe the honor ?” In ask her. - Well, that person asked to remain anonymous ! But they told me that you should be able to piece together who they are thanks to this piece of paper I attached !” She answers, radiating in glee. Yeah, she also loves drama. - Okay… well, give them my thanks if you see them, I guess…”

I wave her goodbye and take place at an outside table. Another piece of paper ? It must be a coincidence, the consequences of it not being are way too scary for me to dwell on too much. Yet, when I read it, these consequences seem more and more like reality…

“For you really have a beautiful self, especially when you show your true face.”

It’s the same handwriting as the note I found at the gym ! Plus, when putting the two pieces of paper, it really does seem to be directly talking about my transformations… But who is it, and what do they want from me ? How did they find out about my secret ? And why this sudden… flirty tone ?

I sigh, and quickly drink my coffee. Due to the fact that it has already been prepared, it means that it’s a bit colder than usual, meaning it’s easier to drink. Wait… if it’s barely colder than usual… does this mean that the one having ordered it was here barely a few minutes ago ? But if it’s so, then how could they have slipped another piece of paper inside my locker ?

The caffeine starts hitting my brain, making me mull over the facts and imagine who could be the one to deliver these notes. Whoever they are, they seem to know my routine, since they knew that I would go to this cafe after the gym. It means that it’s very likely someone I know, or at least someone whose face I have already seen. They also have been witness to one of my transformations somehow, so they’ve likely hung out at the gym… or been one of my earlier dates perhaps ?

Everything is confusing, I just cannot find a way to make sense of all of that ! And… what will happen now that my secret is revealed ? Am I suddenly going to become a lab rat, as my weird condition is revealed to all ? Am I going to have to perform weird or even illegal tasks to stave off outing of my power ? Am I going to be recruited by a criminal organization in order to perform heists as an unknown person ?

Looking at my empty cup, I understand I’ve now gone too far in my thoughts. I’m likely not going to be coerced by a criminal ringleader to commit crimes. That’s ridiculous.

I dispose of my cup and head home. I’ve seen enough today, and I really need an actual break. So I take the bus, a few connecting ones until I’m finally back where I live. Before entering, I quickly go to check if there’s anything in the mailbox. And as if on queue, there is, some random account statements and other official stuff… and another of those papers.

They know where I live ! Now I can actually be scared ! For sure they’re going to make me do crimes or intern me inside a research center, I know it ! Shaking, I take out the piece of paper, and read it. It is written with the same handwriting as the others, so it confirms the fact that they do know a lot about me, but… er… eh ? Here is what it says :

“You are always worthy of love, so never forget the above.”

Wait wait wait, from the beginning, the flirty was what it was all actually about ? It is a love declaration ? … I guess it does rule out the criminal possibility… So who could it be ?

Thinking about it… It can’t be Sandra at the cafe, her shift wouldn’t let her go in the gym when I was there, and she was the one saying that they bought the coffee and left me the message. It can’t be Satoshi, although he could have bought me coffee, he couldn’t put the message in my locker, since I didn’t see him entering the gym, and he was actually walking towards the gym when I saw him. Plus, he’s so dry with me I’d think he hates me before I’d think he loves me. It can’t be Ilham, although he could have put his message in my locker before I entered, he’s currently at the gym, so he couldn’t buy me coffee. Plus, to my knowledge, he’s straight, and he’s still learning English, so he couldn’t have written such a complicated “poem”.

And I didn’t see anyone else during my little trip, so it could literally be anyone else !

But wait… looking back at the three pieces of paper, of the sequence they put together… it reminds me of something… I open my door and quickly make my way to my computer. I need to check something. To check a certain creative writing homework I had in first year.

And finding it… yes. I was correct. This is directly taken from it. The homework we did in duo back in first year of college. It’s weird… is it… really him ?

I close back up my computer, put down all of my stuff while continuing to mull over this revelation. But all of my thinking leads me to one conclusion and one only : I need to call him. So I take out my phone and do just that.

“Hello, Vítor ? Why do you call me ?” He asks, picking up almost immediately after me calling. - I just wanted to ask… do you remember our creative homework, back in first year ? - Yeah, I do, of course I do. - And… have you recently used it for anything ?”

I hear a sigh. Of course I was right.

“So you understood that it was me. I think we both have things to say to each other, so let us meet. - I guess we do.”

And so I go back out of my house, back to where it all started. Back to the gym. I walk for a bit, take a few buses, and when I’ve finally arrived, none other than Satoshi was waiting for me in front of the gym.

“Hello again, Satoshi.” I hail him. “So, you said we had to discuss ? - Yes. Let me be clear at first : I know that you have a muscular alter-ego that you can become. I don’t know why, or how, but I know you do. - How… did you know ?” I ask, a bit anxious, while he smiles at my question. - Well, you see… since the beginning of the year, you’ve been quite absent, and it made me quite worried.” He began recounting, feeling in his way of speaking way more personal and warm. “Honestly, while at first I thought to myself that you can have your own life, and that I shouldn’t interfere with it, your presence started to feel… missing.”

Huh, I didn’t know that I turned him down this much when I discovered my power. I thought that everything was just going as usual, only talking while in public transports and all… Yeah, I guess since I started going to the gym to get hookups, I changed my route after class, meaning that it overlapped less… I didn’t consider that…

“So, one day, I decided to follow you. Discreetly, of course, until you went to that gym. I… I didn’t know why you would go in there, but following you, I saw you entering a changing room… and out left a muscular man. It doesn’t take a genius to understand that it was you. - So this is how you understood that I had powers… - Yes. But this is not the end of my tale. Because I then thought of why I cared so much about you not being available. It wasn’t the first time someone would more or less abandon me out of the blue like that, but it was the first time I was this agitated. Especially because our relationship wasn’t that deep, all things considered. This lead me to the conclusion that I… er... want to spend more time with you, and made me realize that… in truth… er…” He blushes, suddenly trailing off and having a hard time to articulate clearly. “That… that I’m in love with you.”

Although I expected it, I still blush. He’s so straightforward ! And… it’s so unexpected, all things considered ! I guess I still had in mind the possibility that he was just trying to hype me up, somehow ?

“And what really angers me most,” He continues “is that you are overt there trying to be as ‘masculine’, as ‘beautiful’ or anything else to woo people, even though you’re already great the way you are ! And how you sabotage yourself by catering to this image of yourself you invented, going to the gym and all…”

I don’t know what to say. I guess I’ve been really focused in being as much of a gym rat as I could, else my cover would be ridiculous…

“Is it like that ?” I can finally manage. “That people don’t bye the muscular self I have ? - No. I- I don’t think that’s it. It’s more that you do it too well, so they don’t see you as anything more than a gym rat. I guess it all feels wrong and not personal, because it’s not you ! You’re forcing yourself to be someone you’re not ! B-but… since I have the privilege of knowing who you really are… I want to say that the real you is more. It’s beautiful, and warrants love…” He says, blushing even more. - H-how are you saying this with a straight face…” I answer, smiling, while being swept by the wave of awkwardness he radiates. - I’m not… But I really want to tell you what things really are. Because you deserve it.” He takes a large inspiration. “So. Do you want to go out with me ?”

By now, I fully knew what was coming.

And I know my answer.

“Yes, I do.”

“Hey, I’m home !” I announce, coming back home.

However, I do not find any answer to my call, even though Satoshi is supposed to come to my house this evening. He’s likely not there yet, I’m sure taken by his work, meaning that it’s going to be at least a small while until he makes it here.

I smirk. I know what to do to him. He will hate that, but it will be way too fun an opportunity to pass up. So I go to my room, completely undress, and take out some of the special clothes I still have stashed in the corner of my cupboard. In particular, I take out a very big par of jeans, the kind that would usually never fit me.

Then, all of a sudden, I feel my muscles tense up. They’re pulsating, getting progressively bigger and bigger. My pecs are the most noticeable of all of them, rounding up and sagging down in big globes attached to my torso, but everything else gains in mass. My shoulders crack as they’re pushing apart, muscles growing between them and my neck, and a light dusting of black hair starts appearing on them. They descend all over my body, on my torso, beneath my armpits, in my crotch, and on my legs. My crotch also embiggens, the hose hiding inside taking more and more place, while on the rear side my ass cheeks firm up, and gets bigger just like the pecs upstairs.

As it all happens, my face also itches, as the little hairs that are on it start growing, elongating my face at the same time. These hair grow all over my chin into a long beard, while on my lip they only grow denser. At the same time, my face rearranges to become more conventionally attractive, more symmetrical, and my hair starts shortening a bit, and becoming more well-kept.

As the last few details of my transformation arrange themselves, I put the large jeans on, not even bothering to put on underwear before that. Yup, that’s very sexy alright, he’s gonna hate that ! And so my muscular self takes place in the living room, waiting for his beloved to come.

Because this time, I know my prince charming will come.

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Hey ! A story (that was again hard to write) for the last few hours of Pride Month, if it's even still on in your part of the world ! ^^'

I hope we in the TF community can recognize all the colors of the rainbow and all the letters of the acronym, including bi (and similar identities) and trans people ! And I also hope that we can all help to build, each to our ability, a better and more tolerant world (especially in the face of the rise of hateful ideologies around the world, yes I'm quivering at the results of my elections ^^')

So yeah, happy pride, everyone !

#male transformation #male tf #jock tf #nerd tf #gay tf #muscle loss #muscle drain #transformation #tf story #gay story #gay male story #queer romance #happy pride !

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nvuy · 4 months

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Argenti has really been on the brain as of late…I miss my wife….how do we feel about vampire agrenti//getsranover

love bites! — argenti

summary. argenti would do anything for you, even if that anything went against his own moral code.

notes. i think ANON YOU COOKED. YOUUUU COOKED. YOUUUUUUUU COOKED.

warnings. ehhhh… i’ll give it a 16+, suggestive content, as per usual you’re a freak, but argenti is also a freak so it’s okay, as the ask suggests argenti is a vampire, blood, biting, ummm, yk. vampire stuff. but it’s romantic i think.

You feel the couch dip next to you with added weight, and Argenti rests his head in the crook of your neck.

He has barely just gotten comfortable on the couch when you decide to be a thorn in his side. You grin wryly down at him. “Wanna try it?”

Argenti flutters his lashes in confusion.

You huff. “There’s a reason I wore a low cut shirt, dude.” You gesture towards your neckline.

“Oh!” Suddenly, he looks guilty. “As much as I appreciate your offer, I’m afraid I must decline.” He shakes his head and offers you a kind smile of his own. “I have staved off blood for years. I cannot start now. It would be… very unbecoming of me.”

“But, I want you to,” you try lightly. “And it’s your birthday.”

Birthday. As if his birthdays meant anything anymore. Argenti has had hundreds by now. Still, you always manage to make him feel like the most important man in the universe.

He laughs. “My birthday is two months away.”

“Early present,” you conclude firmly.

Then, you lean forward and wrap your arms around his shoulders. His skin has been bloodless since the day you met him, but there’s something so beautiful about it’s near translucency. It’s iridescently white and brilliant, and it’s like pearl silk when his hair spills over his shoulders.

Speaking of which, his hair smells of cherry and coconut.

Hmm, hmm. He’s used your shampoo—not that you mind. Not at all. He uses it because it is something to remember you by when he leaves for extended voyages. And it’s cute.

“C’mon.” It comes out as a childish droning low whine as you hit his shoulders gently. “I see the way you look at me when I get hurt. It'll be good for you.”

Argenti appears sheepish, though he indulges in your hand that cards over his scalp. His fangs poke from behind his bottom lip.

He glances away for a moment. His eyes have traced down to your neck, and he almost abandons his willpower to taste your skin.

“Just a teensy weensy bit.” You pinch your fingers together for good measure.

“It will not be ‘teensy weensy,’” Argenti explains softly. Although his voice falters for a moment, his hands do not tremble. “I will not be able to stop myself. You have always been tempting.”

“Aww.” You bop him on the shoulder. “You’re worried about me?”

“Well, of course. I do love you.”

Your heart falters. You’re sure he can hear how your blood stutters in your veins. He’s said it those words again—how many times? Almost everyday—and it still manages to fluster you.

How you managed to score this dude was beyond you. Maybe the ‘tempting’ part of you was the friends we made along the way.

You giggle like he’s smacked you over the head with his giant spear and caused a concussion. That’s what it feels like, at least. He makes you feel dizzy, but in a good way, like you’re being spun around and around by a lover when you return home after a long day.

Your fingers are still pinched together. “Just a little bit.”

You see him swallow.

He fidgets with his fingers for a moment.

He’s staring at your jugular, and though he appears apprehensive, there’s something clouding over his gaze.

He can’t say no to you. It goes against all of his moral principles.

“If it will make you happy.” Just a taste. He’s set in his ways, now. He’ll prick your neck, allow your blood to wash over his tongue, and then he’ll pull away.

And he really does love to make you happy.

“Hell yeah, it will.” You press your chest to his. “All yours.”

Oh, goodness. He swallows harder, and his hands that are usually confident with how they move, are suddenly hesitant now that they rest on the sides of your face. His hands are free of his gloves, and though his skin isn’t warm, you enjoy the callouses and marks that rub against your flesh.

Dutifully, you push his hair behind his ears.

You’re jealous of how lovely he is.

“Are you certain this is–”

“Yep.”

His brows knit together. “But this–”

“Argenti.”

He smiles apologetically. “I just want to make sure this is something you want, and not something you are doing for my sake.”

You sigh.

Then, you press your lips to his. You don’t let the taste of him distract you, however—and you know that’s secretly what he’s plotting by how his eyes flutter shut.

Argenti appears disappointed when you pull away.

“I want you to do this.”

Uh oh. You’re in for it now. You know that look.

He wants to. He does. He’s wanted to for a while now. But it is selfish of him to drink the blood from your wounds, so he instead ignores the desire.

Now, he can’t ignore it any longer.

His lips press to your cheek first. Then he moves to your jawline, painstakingly slow, but still considerate with how he dotes upon you. Maybe he’s trying to coax you from making the worst decision of your life. Wouldn’t be the first time.

You hum, pleased.

His nose is cold when he buries his face into the side of your neck where the throbbing arteries lie beneath thin supple skin.

And you smell delicious. He smells every throb of your veins as your heart pumps in your chest; that metallic earthy smell, like soil after the rain, and dew on rose petals.

Suddenly, you grow nervous.

He notices.

He tries to reel back, but you lock a hand behind his head.

Still, he tries, “you’re uncomfortable. I won’t–”

You’re excited. Your legs are jittery. The adrenaline rush is exhilarating, and sugar flows through your veins like hot ash.

Your skin feels set alight. You’re burning to the touch.

The scent of you is too much. He pinches his eyes shut in a desperate attempt to control himself.

“Bite me.” You feel his lips bump against your neck. “C’mon.” He lets out a stuttered gasp against your skin. “Do it.”

His will is not strong enough.

He wets his lips and they then part to allow sharpened canines to dot along the skin above your veins. He knows each and every path beneath your flesh. He knows where danger lies. He understands your fragility, for he was once the same.

He steers clear of the artery, as enticing as it is. It’s wrong; and he could very well hurt you beyond repair.

Your heart stutters when his fangs slice through your skin.

And it hurts. Of course it hurts, and Argenti knows as such. His other hand that is not trying to hold you still rubs along the other side of your throat soothingly. The pinpricks of his teeth are slow and deliberate. Perhaps it would hurt less if he was quick, but the sharpness stirs hot on your flesh anyway.

You try not to voice your anguish. Instead, your fingers curl firmly into his hair.

He lingers with his teeth lodged into your vein.

It’s uncomfortable, especially when you feel something hot and wet trickle from the puncture wounds and slip over his cold teeth, but you’ve never felt so alive.

His teeth pull away with a wet pop and you shiver.

You’re bleeding, rightfully so. It’s not a major wound—he’d never. You knew he’d never—but with how sticky the holes were growing, you would be convinced otherwise.

Gingerly, you felt a warm tongue swipe over the wound.

That hurt, too. You hiss then, and you feel Argenti wince against your skin.

The damage is done.

“I’m fine.” And you are. You’re practically jumping out of your skin. “Keep going.”

After a pause, his tongue cards once again over the fresh blood spilling from the wound. It doesn’t help the fire in your veins when he slots his lips over the punctured skin and begins to suck. The noises are alarming at best, and you can hear him swallowing.

It hurts.

But it’s good.

You stiffen in his hold.

Argenti stops for a moment to pepper sticky kisses over your wound. You’re sure it’s stained in the shape of his lips. Stupidly, you giggle at the idea.

He continues to indulge and he’s slow. Maybe he’s hesitant, or maybe he’s savouring you. You’re not sure.

When you’re sure he’s finished, Argenti’s bloodied teeth scrape lower along your neck until his fangs sink into the junction of your throat and your shoulder. Somehow, it hurts more.

More bloodied kisses that make your skin stiffen. His tongue draws over your flesh again.

Both the wounds are still bleeding when he decides to add another to your body.

This one hurts even more. You can tell because his teeth don’t sink in cleanly. The other side of your throat has that arterial vein you know he wants to get to. You also know he wouldn’t ever. He’s inching dangerously close to it, though.

He’s sucking and sucking and you smell copper in the air and you’re stomach is churning and your neck is covered in blood.

Your hands slacken from around his head.

The fourth puncture wound comes over your shoulder.

Your eyes flutter for a moment.

He’s not stopping.

In fact, he hasn’t even opened his eyes to check on you. He’s way too absorbed in your taste to notice your slackening grip on his shoulders.

His tongue grazes your shoulder.

“Argenti.”

He doesn’t even hear you. You move your hands to push him away, but your arms tremble. You’re growing weaker with every second.

Oh, God. This was a bad idea. You’re good at making those.

You hit his shoulders weakly.

“Argenti.” It comes out strangled and weak.

His teeth pop out of a new wound. He hums.

You’re already dizzy. Weakly, your arms wrap around him and grip loosely onto his clothes.

As sexy as this is, and because you feel like the main character in some cheesy vampire story, the stupid primal urges in your brain to survive shut down the idea of laying there, taking it, and letting him ruin your neck until you fall unconscious.

Argenti finally understands just how strong you smell and is horrified at what he’s done when his eyes finally refocus on you.

He lays you down properly on the couch and rushes to get a first aid kit.

When he comes back, he’s mumbling strings of apologies. He looks forlorn, because he’s betrayed himself, and you.

You don’t think it’s appropriate to comment on how the blood around his mouth is almost enough to make you jump on him. Only issue is you’re not sure your bones can support your weight at the moment.

The alcohol stings as he tends to the punctures, but not as much as his teeth did.

You sigh, but it’s happy.

Argenti looks at you. Guilt is smeared over his face like a thick paste.

“You look just as beautiful as the day I met you,” you murmur to him. Because that day had been a wild day. Not only did a giant man with flaming red hair stop to offer his sincerest compliments on how radiant you were—dressed in flip flops and pyjama pants because you were simply hosing your front lawn—with two squirrels at his feet and five birds resting on his shoulders.

If Argenti could blush, you figure he’d be bright red by now.

Instead, he lets out a shaky laugh. “You flatter me so. I know nothing more enchanting than you.”

The wounds have stopped bleeding now, and he makes sure to clean each one thoroughly. He expresses no concerns about a stitch job. You’re relieved at that one.

Weakly, an arm raises to push his hair behind his ears again.

That alone takes all of the strength out of you.

“You okay?” you ask him.

He looks confused at your question. “Fret not, I have had my fill. It is you who I’m worried about.”

“I feel alive.” It’s partly true. As woozy as you feel, it’s like warm sugar still lingers in your veins. “That was great. I bet you enjoyed it.”

Argenti’s grin turns crooked. “Very much so. Perhaps too much. I’ve hurt you.” His fingers rub over the tender skin surrounding the puncture wounds. “But, you are as sweet as I thought you’d be.”

“I’m so in love with you, dude.” Very appropriate thing to say. Maybe it’s the blood loss. Amazing pet name, too.

Still, Argenti flusters. He clears his throat for a moment and his fingers still around your neck. “Words cannot convey how often I think of you, or better yet how often I long to hold you.”

He behaves as if this is his first confession of many to come.

Oh. Your heart is racing in your chest.

Arms much too tired to move, you instead pucker your lips obnoxiously.

Argenti eagerly leans down to kiss you again. His lips are still bloody, and the scent and taste of metal makes your stomach twist for a moment, but it’s him. It’s him and how gentle he always is—and how can you still be so gentle when you’re enraptured in cutting holes into your partner’s neck? Beats you.

“Still so sweet,” he whispers against your lips. “Is all of you this sweet?”

You kiss his cheek. “Wanna find out?” You’re happy to play pillow princess for an hour.

Argenti smiles at that, but it’s cheeky. His eyes crinkle with mischief as he moves to your lips again.

#✦ ( love mail. )#✦ ( anon. )#( ANONNNN I LOVE YOUUUUUU. )#argenti x reader #argenti x you #hsr argenti

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tired-teacher-blog · 1 year

Text

I'm presenting this to myself as a birthday gift 😌

Broken angel

Characters : Hawks/ Fem reader

Warnings and Genre : NSFW/ 18+/ Angst/ Sexual Intercourse/ Creampie/ One Shot

Summary : The heroes might have won the final war, but its scars are a whole other story, so what happens when Hawks finally breaks down in your presence?

Please do not read if you're a minor

Masterlist|Second Masterlist

You kiss his scar once, twice, thrice, and a couple more times until he starts chuckling tiredly, "okay okay I get it, you can stop now!" and he's playfully pushing you off of him but you refuse to budge.

_ "No not yet!" and you kiss the scar reaching the side of his face yet again.

He's been gloomy lately, quiet and distant.. understandable right? the war has left its trace on him as well as it did everyone else, and your once cheerful and lively boyfriend is now but a shell of what he used to be.

You refuse badgering him into reliving those painful memories, although you wish he would open up to you— even a little. If only he would do that..

_ "Alright, get off me sweetheart, seriously." he squeezes your ass cheeks teasingly before giving you a playful smak.

_ "I love you Keigo, you know that right?" if you're unable to get through to him, then maybe you can remind him that he's never going to be alone.

_ "I know that, and I love you too." his fingers trace your thighs lazily, almost absentmindedly as he turns his head to the side.

That's how it's been lately, almost every exchange between you two ends in him slipping away further from you, one way or another.

It hurts, of course it does, watching the one you love the most stubbornly fighting his lurking demons all by himself, makes you feel powerless.

_ "Keigo, please look at me." you push a bit more, cautiously so, tightening your thighs on each side of his slim waist, and placing your palms flat against his chest.

He's looking away still, and the lump in your throat only grows with each second that passes, "Keigo.." you call out again, and yet.. nothing.

You lean in once more, pressing your forehead to his cheek and sighing heavily, "I just want you to know that I'm right here, for as long as you'll have me, I can only imagine what's going on in your mind and I know it's a struggle, so please allow me to share your burden."

Your lips trail soft kisses along his scarred skin, from the side of his face and down to his neck where you linger, bracing yourself for yet another dismissive response.

_ "I want you right now." his words are dark, almost desperate as he growls his demand and cradles your butt cheeks, pressing you down on him and grinding up against your clothed pussy.

Your body stiffens but only for a moment, as you did not foresee this turn of events. If anything, you anticipated that little fake laugh which has never fooled you, as well as the good old "I swear I'm fine love."

But something is different tonight, he's finally holding on to you after weeks of running away, he's finally expressing his desire clearly after silently suffering for long, and you find yourself biting those burning tears back as you are suddenly reminded of that night -some years ago- when he broke down and bared his soul to you, keeping nothing in as he weeped and screamed and held you throughout the night, it was him Keigo Takami, not the nation's beloved Hawks.

That night -some years ago- the facade he kept up for most of his life had finally come down in front of you, but these past few weeks wrecked it all and reminded you of the way things were when you only knew him as Hawks.

_ "I'm all yours Keigo," you whisper back and press your lips against his parted ones in a heated liplock, it's warm and urgent, same as the hands hiking your shirt up and sneaking past the silky trim of your panties.

You raise your hips quickly, wordlessly begging him to rid you of the soft garment and ravish you at once. You miss this, you miss him.

He groans into the kiss, pushing the delicate fabric down, and you clumsily work it out of your legs without breaking apart of your boyfriend's lips.

You cradle his cheeks, as a strangled whine leaves your throat when he licks his way into your mouth. His tongue is burning hot and his hands are relentlessly exploring every inch of you he can reach from his position.

His slender fingers squeeze your buttocks firmly, pinning you down on his throbbing bulge and you both moan at the tempting friction created between you.

And with a sudden gasp, you find yourself on your back, sinking into the fluffy bedsheets, as he flips your positions and settles between your legs.

_ "Stay still." the darkness in his voice only deepens as he hastily peels off his shirt and lowers his sweatpants.

You swallow thickly watching his cock spring back against his abdomen, hard and raging, as if reflecting your boyfriend's impatience to be sheathed deep into your core.

You're a bit intimidated by his overwhelming aura as your eyes travel up to study his face, his gold brown irises gleam with intense longing, his strong jaw clenched and his lips sealed in a firm line.

He grasps his raging shaft and pumps it lazily, hissing while his knees nudge your legs further apart. His thick brows are knitted and his breathing is labored as he huskily demands you remove your shirt.

It should be frightening right? He has never been so forceful before, never so unhinged, but something about this unusual side of him is intriguing.

You follow the order and struggle to take off your remaining garment as gracefully as you possibly can from where you're laying under his watchful eyes, whimpering unintelligibly and biting down on your lip when he swiftly grabs onto your thighs and pulls you closer.

He's not speaking, not smiling, nor is he touching you gently or kissing you softly like he always does right before easing himself into your heat. No he's not.. not tonight.. tonight is all about a primal desire that's been fueled with weeks of stifled emotions.

_ "Don't hold back, Keigo.." you beg breathily, too afraid of losing him again, and it was the sign he's been waiting for, to snap his hips and sink deep into your core with one hard thrust.

Your eyes roll back and your mouth falls open, but nothing comes past it except for a strangled mewl as you dig your nails into his arms while feeling the delicious sting of the first intrusion.

His eyes are trained on your flushed skin and heaving chest as he pulls back to the tip and slams his way into you once more.

The remnants of his beautiful crimson feathers flutter restlessly around him, old scars mixed with recent ones are scattered across his otherwise fair skin, and an alluring expression is adorning his features as he pounds you into oblivion..

At this moment, and through your hazy eyes, he looks like an angel.. a broken angel.

_ "Keigo, Keigo, kiss me, please.." tears form in your eyes as you reach out a shaky hand, clumsily smoothing out his scowl and bringing his face closer.

His lips crash against yours painfully, sloppily, as he bites onto your bottom one and swallows your desirous whimpers.

His hands travel up to clutch onto your bouncy breasts, groping and kneading the soft flesh as his thrusts turn even harder and faster.

Your fingers caress his arms and shakily move around his neck and back to trace every fading scar on his sweat glistening skin.

_ "Talk to me, Keigo, please tell me what you're thinking." you whimper between sloppy kisses only to receive another hard plunge as a response.

He's not ready to talk yet, and you get it.

His lips leave yours and travel along your jaw, trailing wet kisses in their wake and move further down to suck on the sensitive skin of your neck.

You cry out his name over and over again, pulling on his hair weakly as that familiar warmth is strating to pool within you.

You will not be able to last much longer, and neither will he.

His twitching shaft and erratic hips are slamming mercilessly against your own, again and again, and then you hear it..

The sound of your name flowing out of his mouth, gruff and desperate as he fucks you even harder.

The bruising clutch on your sides trembles, and the lustful growls of your name don't seem to subside.

Your fingers leave his ash blonde hair to dig into the flexing muscles of his shoulders, and you squeeze your legs around his stuttering waist while shockwaves of pleasure wash over you as your lover's voice fills your senses.

You shudder violently with every deep thrust he delivers, and your vision blurs as he pushes one more time into your heat before releasing his pearly seeds and coating your clenching walls without a warning.

He has never done it before, not without asking for your permission beforehand. But even so, you're not mad, you're not pushing him away or asking him to stop and pull out.

In fact, you're squeezing him in your arms, tears are falling down your face as you beg him to keep going, "please, don't pull out, Keigo please!"

And he does as instructed, fulfilling your wish and emptying his thick load in your welcoming cunt before collapsing on top of you, with his softening cock still sheathed within.

Labored breathing, desperate gasps and sweaty bodies are entangled in the warmth of your messy bed. And for a moment, no words were exchanged between you.

But suddenly..

_ "I can't get it out of my head," he's talking, "I can't stop picturing the blood and the terror," he's talking, "even when I close my eyes, I can still see it all," just like that night -some years ago- he's burying his face in the warmth of your neck and finally speaking, "the destruction, the victims and their screams," he's finally talking after weeks of shutting down, but his words are stabbing at your heart.

You get it though, you always have. Many have fallen during the war, and just as many were left with permanent scars on their souls, and Keigo is but one example.

You run your fingers through his disheveled hair, placing the softest kisses on his shoulder and tracing the expanse of his scarred back where you linger a bit, to caress his feathers, "I know Keigo, I understand how you're feeling, it's hard and it's suffocating but trust me, it will get better eventually," you bite back a sob and take a deep breath before carrying on, "you will never be alone, I'm right here and will always be," you squeeze him tighter as warm tears start to fall down your face once more.

You hate how weak you're being, you feel so powerless when the person you love the most needs you, "I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better, but I promise that we will figure it out together."

He's not talking anymore, but.. something warm and wet is trickling down your neck, soft sobs are escaping his throat as he breaks down in your arms.

It kills you, crushes your heart and devastates you, but maybe this is what he needs, maybe he should feel the pain instead of escaping it, maybe he has to face his demons and fight, maybe then he will have his closure.

You listen to his whimpers and cry with him, as his arms crush you between them. It will be a long way, but you'll walk it alongside him.

_ "I'm sorry honey, I'm so sorry for taking my frustration out on you, please forgive me." he sounds weak and broken, too ashamed to look you in the eyes, but you refuse to lose him again.

You cradle his tear stained cheeks and force him to face you. His eyes are red and puffy, a soft loving gaze is emanating from them— unlike the one from earlier, and the sight of it brings a little smile to your face, "there is nothing to forgive Keigo, you can do whatever you want with me, you can even scream and cry or punch a wall if you wish, and I'll do it with you, just don't run away from me again, please."

He hums softly and pecks you once, pulling away but only for a moment to word his response "you have my word," before pressing his lips with yours yet again.

He's been alone most of his life, fending for himself against the world, but not anymore, because now he has you.

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michelle-is-writing · 7 months

Text

Protector, Warren Worthington iii

Word Count: 4.5k~

I had been best friends with Warren ever since I met him.

Throughout our years in school, Warren and I had always stuck by each other's side. We hung out together, ate lunch with each other, and nearly forgot about all those people around us who would point out his wings to hurt him. It was like we were in our own little world, and in a way, we were.

We met in the second grade while our class was in the library. While looking for a book, I found Warren, huddled up behind a bookshelf in the elementary school library. He was red in the face and crying as he held his knees close to him. Instantly, I noticed his wings, of course - how could I not?

However, this didn't stop me from going up and asking him what was wrong. I can still remember the way his curls bounced against his scalp as he turned his attention away from his lap and up to me, quickly wiping away his tears to cover up his emotions. Despite being so young, he knew how to expertly do this as he pretended that nothing was wrong and he wasn't crying merely thirty seconds ago.

"What's wrong?" I asked, sitting beside him. I saw him tense up, his back straightening up as he laid his legs out in front of him instead of hugging them to his chest.

"Nothing," He instantly answered me, once again, pretending as if everything wasn't as it seemed.

Instead of saying anything more, I let the boldness I had as an eight-year-old takeover and pulled him into my arms, his figure becoming even tenser. Although, he didn't pull away, and instead, just stayed in that position until I spoke up.

"The kids are mean to me too," I told him, his breath catching in his throat. "And they shouldn't be because you seem pretty cool," I explained with a smile as he turned his eyes up to look at me again. "No one else here has wings, and they're really pretty."

From then on, we were practically inseparable. We weren't seen without each other, and despite bullies picking on us, we didn't let their words bother us. Even as we got older, nothing changed, and in spite of living in an expensive house with nearly triple the amount of space that my house was, Warren chose to stay at my place most nights. His parents didn't care about what he did, and my parents were more than happy to have him over.

When we reached high school, our friendship turned into an actual relationship between two lovebirds (no pun intended). Now we really were inseparable.

However, this changed one night when he went out to grab something from the store. I was sick, and needed medicine; so, being the thoughtful boyfriend he was, he decided he would go out and get some. I guess we underestimated how much mutants were hated in the area as Warren never came back.

Now it's been three months since he disappeared.

Every night since, I went searching for him, only to return to some hotel or hostel without him. I don't know what came over me tonight though. For all my life, I've always been told to avoid putting myself in dangerous settings, and yet, all of those lessons were cast away as I heard people screaming and hollering down an empty and dark alleyway while in Munich. My searching had taken me far away from home, but I wasn't going to stop until I found Warren.

Following the sounds of excitement and fury, I found a hidden door that led to what seemed to be a fighting ring. People surround the caged area, but I push through them, ignoring their waving arms with money held high. I stop at the metal fence separating the people from the ring, only to gasp in horror as my eyes fall over the white, fluffy wings I've loved for many years.

"Warren..." I hear his name being whispered through my lips, tears forming in my eyes as I look at his hurt and pained figure. Fighting for his life against another mutant, he spits blood from his mouth as he wipes away the blood forming on the cut across his cheek. The tattered t-shirt he wears, the same thing he wore the night he disappeared, barely hangs onto his shoulders by a few strips of fabric, the band emblem on the front no longer being recognizable. His arms have fresh bruises forming all along the skin while fading bruises covers the visible parts of torso. How the hell did he get here?

Too shocked to move, I watch as Warren throws a punch at the other mutant, only to hit the fence in front of him, the silver eliciting sparks as soon as Warren touches it. "Shit!" He yells while the blue mutant seemingly teleports to different parts of the cage, only to receive the same treatment as Warren did. Hearing his voice after so long makes me nearly choke on the air in my throat, the tears now falling freely. Seeing Warren makes me want to rip through the fence and save him, but seeing that the metal fence is electric, I can't simply do that.

Blinking the oncoming tears away, I glance in every corner of the underground hideaway and try to find something that might resemble a control panel. It isn't until I see a switch box on what seems to be a surveying floor that I begin running to it, successfully climbing up the steps to the higher level and stopping in front of it. Gazing back to the fighting ring, I see Warren shouting at the dodging mutant while people standing around the cage yell out vile words of hate and absolute greed.

"Warren!" I shout his name as loud as I can, placing my hand on the handle to the electrical switch. Instantly, his head darts toward the voice calling his name, every inch of his being relaxing once he sees me. I smile at him before nodding, his eyes following my hand as it begins pushing the handle downward. Just before the electricity goes out, I see Warren's dirty wings perk up just as the entire underground arena goes pitch black.

In the darkness, the people's screams die down while the clinging sound of the fence being ripped apart follows it. Mere seconds pass before I familiar arms wrap around me and tug me close to their body, Warren's wings flapping rapidly as he lifts us into the air and to the hidden door I entered through. Once we're outside, we quickly run as far as we can before stopping in another alley, far away from the other one.

As soon as we stop, Warren wraps his arms around me and pulls me close to him, his lips immediately attaching to mine in a fervent and much-needed kiss. His hand on my waist never falters in its hold on me, and instead, it squeezes the flesh there as if he were testing if I was real or not.

"I'm here," I tell him, sliding my hands down his face as endless tears fall from his cheeks and onto my hands. Staring into his tear-filled eyes, I can't help but cry tears of happiness as well. "I'm right here."

Nodding, Warren folds his wings behind him, slightly wincing at the pain of them conforming against his back. "Fucking hell," He mutters, placing his forehead against mine, his eyes closed. A few seconds pass of him just holding me before he kisses me once more. "I've missed you so fucking much."

Our sweet reunion is cut short by a black vehicle slamming on their brakes at the end of the alleyway. "Warren," I say his name, concerned at the sight in front of us. Warren turns around, only for his wings to burst out again, shielding me from seeing anything. Peeking under one of the long feathers, I see two men leave the vehicle before one of them points at Warren.

"That's him!" The man yells, "Get him!"

In an instant, Warren swings around and wraps his arms and wings around me, protecting me from the flurry of oncoming bullets. What appears to be eight shots sounds throughout the alley before the same car speeds off again as Warren begins to topple over. Was he shot?

Trying to catch him before he falls on his face, I wrap my arms around Warren and hold him up for a few seconds, only for his size to take over mine and fall to the side. Landing on his back with me on top of him, Warren waves his hand at me while shaking his head, his eyes shut. "I'm fine," He mutters, his voice now suddenly tired and drained.

Eyes wide and concerned, I turn him onto his side and look over him to see blood pouring from his wings. Between the layers of feathers, I find what seems to be four bullet wounds, causing me to practically lose it as the crimson liquid touches my hands. "No, no, no, no, no," I mutter uncontrollably as I place him onto his back. "Warren, Warren," I repeat his name, running my hand against the side of his face, his own blood smearing across his flawless cheek. "Warren, don't go to sleep!"

At my heartbroken plea, Warren opens his eyes, frowning at the sight of tears pouring from my eyes. "Don't cry, my love," He begs, his voice even weaker than before. He lifts a hand to my face, doing the same to me just as I had done to him. I quickly place my hand over his, holding it there as I feel the warmth in his skin begin slowly leaving it. "I... I love you..." He whispers, his eyes closing once again.

Just like a few seconds ago, I feel every ounce of sanity leave me as I watch the love of life wither away in front of me. "Warren, don't do this to me!" I shout, the tears now falling like a waterfall. I could barely manage not seeing him for the three hellish months when he was missing - I can't live the rest of my life without him.

"Warren!" I scream his name again, utter desperation being the only recognizable thing in my voice. Releasing a sob, I push my head against his chest and hear his still-beating heart. However, I know that if I don't get him to a hospital within the next few seconds, his heart won't continue beating like that. But what hospital will even help us?

"Ma'am?" I hear a woman's soft voice coming from the end of the alley, causing me to jerk my head up and see a blonde woman standing twenty feet away. Concerned, she walks closer to me before kneeling beside Warren and me, the knees of her pants becoming stained with his spilled blood on the alley ground. His wings are the first things that catch her focus, making me want to hold him closer.

"Please, don't hurt him," I beg her, my hand holding his hand a bit tighter. "He-he's a-" The woman cuts me off.

"He's a mutant," She points out, looking over at me. Still crying, I nod once, watching as a small smile appears on her face. Within a short second, the fair skin she once had transforms into blue flesh with darker blue scales, her eyes turning yellow and green while her hair changes into a much brighter orange/red.

"It's okay," She assures me, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I am too, and I can help."

Her words, not to mention her sudden change of looks, shock me, but I nod at her, ready to do anything this woman says if it means saving Warren.

"Where's his family?" She asks me, her hand remaining on my shoulder as she kneels on the ground beside me.

"Me," I quickly answer her, tears still falling from my eyes. "I am his family."

"You're not a mutant," She points out, shaking her head with squinted eyes as she looks at me a bit confused. "And you care for him?"

"He's my best friend, the love of my life..." I answer her, my heart clenching as the words leave my lips. "Please, you have to help us!"

The woman nods, giving me a small, encouraging smile. "Kurt!" She abruptly yells, a teenage boy with blue skin and carvings appearing behind her with a blue puff of smoke following. I instantly recognize him as the other mutant in the pin with Warren earlier, and in spite of this, he doesn't try to get back at Warren while he's down.

Pulling his hand to get closer, she makes him get on our level before wrapping his arm around her and me. The stranger, Kurt, then wraps his other arm around Warren's almost lifeless body and tugs him a bit closer as well. "Get us all to the mansion nurse's ward - now!"

With the woman's last words, Kurt somehow does so, causing us to suddenly be in a nurse's station only a second later. This all confuses the living hell out of me, but with Kurt having a tail and red eyes, and not to mention blue skin like the lady, I don't know if I should be questioning the normalcy of anything at the moment.

Immediately, three scrubbed nurses rush up to where we are and pick Warren up from the ground. "He was shot, multiple times," The blue woman quickly explains, standing up from the ground. "He'll need blood, and you need to act quick."

Listening to her, the three nurses nod before taking an unconscious Warren back to what I could guess is surgery. Numb, I sit on the cold tile floor as I reach my blood-covered hands up to cross my arms and hold myself, my eyes stuck on the swinging doors that Warren was just carried through. Beside me is Kurt as he places a consoling hand on my shoulder, giving me a small smile.

"He vill be alright," Kurt assures me, his words helping me out a little. Giving him a small nod of my head, I take his held-out hand and stand up with him. "That is Raven, by the way," He adds as the woman from before moves to stand in front of me, taking my hand in hers despite it stained crimson.

"This is the Xavier mansion," She explains to me, "You're safe; we won't hurt you."

At her words, I nod. "I know," I tell her, giving her a small smile. "I trust you."

Smiling back at me, Mystique's eyes flicker behind me before her mouth slightly parts, her hand holding mine slightly faltering. "Who is this, Raven?" I hear a soft British voice speak up, causing me to slowly turn around and see a man in a wheelchair now in front of me. His eyes quickly catch my blood-covered hands and arms, shock taking over him. "Dear heavens, what happened to you, dear?"

I go to answer him, but my voice defeats me in doing so. Instead, Mystique speaks for me. "Charles, her and a fellow mutant were shot at in an alleyway when Kurt and I were passing by. He has wings, that's where most of the bullets hit him," She explains to him, "She has no ill will toward any of us - she just wants her boyfriend to survive."

A few seconds pass before the man, Charles, nods, staring at me with a frown. "I'm sorry to hear that, love," He tells me, giving me a single nod. "Raven, help her get cleaned up and fetch some fresh clothes for her as well," With that, Charles wheels himself out of the room and into the hallway where he enters the room at the end.

In a puff of blue smoke, Kurt leaves Mystique and me, letting us head to what I presume is her room where she wets a washcloth and begins rubbing the drying blood from my arms. "He will be alright," She tells me, saying Kurt's exact words from moments ago. "Trust me."

I nod at her words, but I can't believe them myself. What if Warren isn't okay? What if one of the bullets when through his spine and he's now paralyzed? I couldn't see all of his wounds so I don't know where they all hit him, minus the few I could see in his wings. What if the nurses and doctors can't do anything and he dies on the table? I can't bear to lose him - not again.

With my arms their original (s/c) color, I change into a pair of pajama pants and matching top with a school emblem given to me by Raven before walking with her to Charles' office. Stopping in front of his desk, Mystique and I watch as the man from earlier sits at his desk with his attention stuck on the novel stuck in his hands. However, it doesn't take long for him to notice our presence and put the book down with his glasses following.

"(Y/n), is it?" Charles asks me, turning his attention up to me. Surprised, I hesitantly nod as he speaks up once more. "No need to worry, dear," He assures me with a smile despite my caution. "I'm able to read minds and communicate through them as well," Charles further explains. "Raven and I were talking while she helped you with your arms and hands,"

"I understand you've been through a lot in the past hour, so I won't force you to talk about it," Charles tells me, making me let out a small sigh of relief. "But I am a bit concerned over the fact that you were in such a predicament that your partner was shot," Holding his hand out, Charles waits for me to place my hand in his. "I won't scour through your brain and look at everything you've ever seen or done - I just want to see what all transpired tonight."

Hesitating, I bite my lip in thought before shakily putting my hand in Charles, his touch being warm and welcoming. I feel as Charles does what he told me he would do, the images of the past month flashing before my eyes. Warren's disappearance, me finding him, and helping him get out are all shown before me like a home movie shot from my perspective. Because of this, I gasp a little, shocked at Charles' ability to do such a thing.

Slowly slipping his hand from mine, Charles' eyebrows furrow in thought before flashing his eyes up to mine, confusion written all over them. "You're a human with no powers or anything," He points out, slightly pausing in his words. "And yet, you've always loved a mutant?"

His words come out as a question, but to me, they're a true statement. I love Warren - I always have - and nothing about him will ever change that. "He's human just as I am," I tell Charles, giving him a small smile. "but, with wings," I further add, my smile growing sad as I lightly shrug. "How could I not love my angel?"

My words washing over him, Charles smiles back. "I like you," He tells me, Raven putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder. "Your friend, I think he'll pull through. After all, he has a great incentive."

Because of Charles' words, I smile and give him a nod of thanks just as a question rises to my mind. "What... what is this place?" I ask, gesturing to the overall building. I know it has to be an establishment of some sort going by the built-in medical wing and wide hallways.

"This," Charles states, pointing his finger to the ceiling while his eyes remain on mine. "Is Xavier's a school for gifted youngsters," He informs me before nodding his head once. "This is a school specialized for children with mutations such as Warren, or Kurt, whom you met earlier."

Furrowing my eyebrows together, another question comes to mind. "Why have I never heard of this place before?" I ask, receiving a small smile.

"We're a relatively small school," Charles simply explains, "Ultimately, if your boyfriend would want to join, he could - now, you're not a mutant, but the unique and understanding attitude you give off, I'm sure we could work something out for you too."

His words make my cheeks turn pink in response to the compliment as I thank him, turning my eyes toward the ground as I try to fight the ever-growing smile on my lips. Just as I do this, I see Charles put a hand to his forehead as his eyebrows furrow before looking over at Mystique with a smile. "Raven, take her back to the medical ward," he tells the fiery-haired woman. "It seems that her friend was easily operable and now they're just waiting for him to wake up."

Almost immediately, I turn and follow Mystique out of the room with my pace just a little faster than hers. Soon enough, we walk through the doors and directly to the beds where only one of them is occupied, and the sleeping body in it is Warren's. The window behind him shines down on him with the bright and early morning sun highlighting his now washed and pure white wings that lie behind him. The sight is a complete contrast to what I saw only an hour ago with the almost black sky darkening everything around us and only emphasizing the dirt and grime that covered Warren's perfect wings.

"We told you he'd be okay," I hear Mystique's gentle voice beside me say, causing me to nod with an onrush of tears rising in my eyes. They were right, and my Warren is okay.

Moving closer to him, I sit beside Warren on the bed and take his hand in mine, his unconscious body unresponsive toward my touch and his perfect face never changing. "I'll let you two be alone," Mystique speaks up before doing as she says and walking back toward the door. Once I hear the swinging door shut, the tears residing in my eyes quickly fall over the barrier and down my face as I try to hold in my sobs.

When you love someone, you never want to see them in pain or hurting, and when they're laid up in a hospital bed with consciousness being a waiting game, it hurts you. It physically hurts you to the point where your chest feels heavy with dread, and your stomach feels sick with worry. It's terrible, and I wish there was something I could've done to protect Warren from getting shot.

"I'm so sorry," I sob, turning my eyes away from him and toward the floor. Raising my free hand to cover my mouth as the sobs tumble out, I don't notice Warren's hand gently squeezing mine until I feel the bed beneath me slightly moves.

Immediately looking back over to him, I see his eyes flutter open and quickly dart to me, confusion taking over his tired face as soon as he sees my crying form. "Why..." Warren slowly starts speaking, his voice raspy and scratchy with sleep. "Why are you crying, love?" He finishes his question, now trying to sit up.

"No, no, baby," I usher him to continue lying flat, moving to stand on my knee on the side of his bed before pushing his shoulders back down onto the mattress. Despite this, he still doesn't listen and moves to wrap his arms around me before pulling me fully onto the bed and holding me to his chest. Finally, Warren does lie back down, but in a matter of seconds, his wings are fluttering around me like any other time I'd be on top of him. My eyes quickly catch sight of the now bandaged wounds, and now that I get a better look, I see that there was one more bullet-wound than I initially thought. "Warren, your stitches!"

"It's okay, love," He sleepily responds, leaning his head back to look up at me with a happy face. "I'm so damn happy to see you," Warren confesses, his eyes gazing over me as if I were a precious gem.

If it weren't for the nurses cleaning the dirt from his face and body, I wouldn't have been able to assess the full damage the fighting ring did to him. Above his left eye is a healing bruise that covers a majority of the side of his forehead, and his bottom lip is split, making it swollen. On top of all of that, his green eyes are sunken in and practically taken over by dark circles.

Still, he continues staring at me, acting as if nothing is bothering him until a look of confusion fall over his face. "Now, are you going to tell me why you were crying?" Warren repeats his question from earlier, making me shake my head as more tears rise to my eyes.

"You almost died, Warren," I inform him, his face still unchanging. "I've been without you for three damn months, and the night I get you back, I almost lost you again - for good!" I add on, raising a hand to wipe away my fast-falling tears.

However, Warren beats me to it and places his hands against my cheeks where he gently holds me, his face now soft. I guess he hasn't assessed the severity of the situation. That, or he hasn't taken the time to fully realize that he has stitched-up bullet wounds adorning his wings.

"I'm sorry," Warren apologizes after a few seconds of silence. Despite expecting those two words, it still doesn't hit me any easier as I'm sobbing once again, this time, into Warren's chest.

Holding me close, Warren waits a few moments before moving his hands back to my face and turning me to look at him directly. As soon as he gets the chance, Warren places his rough lips on top of mine, the skin chapped from the harsh things he's been put through. Despite crying moments ago, my tears ultimately stop as I come to the realization of how much I've missed the feeling of Warren's lips on mine. Chapped or not, his lips are the pure definition of Heaven, and when they're on top of mine, it's like pure ecstasy.

Pulling away for air, I pant above Warren as he does the same, his hands now sliding down to grip my waist once again. "I love you," He tells me, "And I've missed you- God, how I've missed you," Warren adds, shaking his head as a small, almost unnoticeable tear falls down his cheek. "Each day was hell without you, and I can't be without you, not again."

Smiling at him, I lean down once more and peck his soft cheek before nuzzling my head next to his on the pillow, his hold on me never changing in the slightest. "You won't have to, Angel," I tell him, watching his lips quirk up in a smile at my nickname for him. Deciding on leaving the explanation of where we're at for later, I close my eyes alongside Warren and fall asleep, finally able to relax knowing he and I can be together with no one to stop or hurt us.

#ben hardy #ben hardy imagine #ben hardy imagines #ben hardy x reader #ben hardy fanfic #ben jones #ben hardy x fem reader #ben hardy fluff #roger taylor imagines #roger taylor imagine #roger taylor fanfiction #roger taylor fanfic #roger taylor #warren worthington x reader #warren worthington iii imagines #warren worthington imagine #warren worthington imagines #warren worthington iii imagine #warren worthington iii

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ghostsvacuumcleaner · 1 year

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Hi! I saw your alejandro NSFW alphabet and I was in love! Mind doing a John price NSFW alphabet if you are comfortable?

Absolutely comfortable with my favorite dilf omg 🥵 took me a while since I'm working on other requests and I'm sorry bout that but I hope you're still around here! also I'm so SORRY this is so LONG, couldn't help myself!!! Hope you enjoy even so 😭 To work:

TW: NSFW, SMUT. MINORS DNI!

John Price NSFW Alphabet

masterlist | ao3

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

There will always be plenty of it, even if he's in a bad mood, even if he's really pissed at you: he'll always love praising his babydoll the most. After he's done with you and absolutely sure your thighs are sliding from the slick that's still down there and exhausted from intensely riding him, he'll hold you fondly against his bear chest and kindly brush his worn fingers through your hair, caressing that very soft spot in your scalp. Although you're in his office and it's kind of necessary for you to get ready and leave quickly before someone can come in and catch you fucking your captain, he'll take his time and offer you a drag of his cigar, and find it very adorable if you inhale wrong and cough; "Gotta let the smoke get to your lungs, love, inhale... that's right, good. Now let go... there you go." he'll say, while his fingertips brush deliciously calmly your bare back, contouring your spine; if you don't choke and is actually an avid smoker like himself, he'll be glad to share and will offer you cigarettes or cigars from his pack evertyime he feels like.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

You'd hardly say he has a favorite body part of yours, because he'll spare no efforts in worshiping it whole - every part of it. If he absolutely had to pick one particular thing, he'd probably say your thighs and legs. Before the two of you engaged in a official relationship, it wasn't often he could see them because you'd mostly wear those average cargo pants; the very first time you accepted to go out with the team and not so unintentionally decided to wear that damn tiny dress, your thighs started living rent free in your cap's mind. He had a hard time staring them all night long, craving it as the dress kept riding up your thighs while you danced - against other men. Almost like you were challenging him in finally coming to you after days of incessant innuendo and stares at work.

As for himself, he loves his hairy, perfumed and broad chest. He feels vivid like he doesn't in much time when you brush those small soft hands of yours across it, when you're with them all over him like you own him - particularly in those times you feel jelly when you see some other woman staring at him. Like stating he's your man. He loves it.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Before the two of you made a commitment, he was very careful with it. By that time, you getting pregnant could be a very big problem for both of you - not only because you're considerably younger than him, but mostly because he is your boss. Your captain. That could come off the wrong way for his superiors, could hurt both of your reputations. He'd grab a twisted handful of your hair, his other hand digging tight on your waist as he digs, buries his cock deep within your swollen walls - your leg bent, resting over the desk and your cunt so exposed your clit rubs lightly on the wooden surface each time he thrusts - you're going insane. You came minutes ago and there he is still fucking you dumb, making you bite your own cheeks trying to keep your voice down, till suddenly contact's broken and he steps back, pumping his cock a few times only to release his spend on your beautiful thigh, with a muffled groan. "Bloody fuckin'- ah, doll, y' gonna kill me like that..."

Today's day with the two of you dating, nothing will get him more relaxed than forcing his seed inside you, watching his own cum drip through your folds once he pulls off - and he'll gladly tell you after, that he really hopes it catches this time.

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

He's been watching you closely from your very first day of work. He'd never tell you or anyone else - and sometimes, he denies it to himself out of shame, that he intentionally recruited you on his team because of his crescent infatuation with your young, beautiful and strong self. It's not that you're not highly competent and good at your job, definitely not. But that wasn't his only reason to pick you, and he'll bury this secret with him - that he once in his life chose to be unprofessional, because he wanted you. But btw that didn't stop him from being tough and demanding with you, especially on your first days. heh

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

He's definitely very experienced, in every pure aspect of it. It was a part of the reason you grew interested on him with no time - he was experienced like none of these young guys you had before. Knows every right places, mature, caring. Bit old fashioned. It was all you wanted; It'll get on your nerves sometimes although, because you're not the only one to think that he's the hottest shit alive. Many woman fancy him, some older than you - which will get you really concerned sometimes. He'll reaffirm you whenever it's necessary, he's yours, have never been anyone's like he's yours.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)

It generally depends on his mood, but again if he had to absolutey state a favorite one: on your side or behind. Stressing day at work, comes home to find you waiting for him in bed - he'll love fucking you on your side, heavy panting on your ear as his hand squeezes your perfect sized breast - his hips moving ever so slowly as his hand brushes the skin of your belly down to your folds, where he'll comfortably make room for his fingers against your clit in slow, circular movements. "God I fuckin' need you today, hun..." - he'll grunt in your ear in his raspy voice.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

Not in the moment particularly, not when fucking you - but on all other times, he'll find room to be goofy and make you laugh at his terrible jokes.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

He's hairy on all parts of his body, no thread. He's very clean and groomed, yes - he loves his beard and moustache, spends a hideous amount of money in lotions and perfume and combs it after every shower he takes, religiously. Wears a big beard for so long now he probably can't picture himself with a shaven face anymore.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Price is the perfect balance between rearranging your guts whenever you're a brat and he's got to teach you a lesson, and pulling multiple orgasms out of you by fucking you slow and passionately when he's affectionate. He'll have you on his lap, his arms wrapped around you, his hand supporting your back while he spares no efforts in trailing kisses from your breast to your neck, smelling your hair and letting out a low mewl to how amazing you feel. He'll be lazy, slow, move your hips ever so slow making you roll against him like you're dancing on his lap. "Mmm-" he'll moan, before taking your mouth in a passionate sloppy kiss again.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

He doesn't need much of it anymore, so only in cases of much need - in mission and can't concentrate in anything else but work, some of you had to travel for any type of reason, he's really horny and you're sick - he'll do it. But as for before having you, he'd be embarassed to admit how many times he had masturbated to you in the shower.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

Brat tamer, and it doesn't surprise anyone. He doms almost everytime. He absolutely loves it when you put up an attitude - not acting childish, no, when you stand up and defy him. He'll be the boss. He'll be proud of himself for marking you everywhere he possibly can, for owning you.

A bit of exhibitionism. He loves fucking you raw against his office desk or honestly anywhere else it's plausible in the headquarters; he loves it that he has to cover your mouth or else you'd be a loud moaning mess. It was hard restraining himself when someone knocked on the other side of the door, all curtains down and the slight sound of your mouth gagging on his cock. When you mentioned to stop, he forced your head hard till your nose met the hair in his groin, and oh only God knows how hard it was finding room for all that length in your throat.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

When I mean anywhere he can, I mean anywhere he can. He even would enjoy it if he had someone watching the two of you, but for the bare reason of: he's the one fucking you. He's making sure that this other person watching knows it, that you're his and only his. If anything, he wouldn't share, quite the opposite. But the idea that there's a dangerous possibility that someone catches the two of you arouse him; so, in his office, in the deposits, sometimes in the briefing room if it's late and empty.

Of course, that doesn't exclude the special place in his heart that his big, comfy bed has. He loves having you on his bed, cozy, warm, and very domestic.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Seeing you being the badass youngster you are turns him on; not exactly when at mission, because at those times he keeps himself strictly professional and very concentrated. But in the backstage, he loves it when you defy him and when you brat around - that'll give him further reasons to punish you later.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

Wouldn't do anything if he gets the slight sense that you don't want to, nothing to hurt you (not for real) and wouldn't share. Perhaps, he'd love to have someone seeing it but sharing is a huge no. Watcher can't touch or get closer, only watch, while he makes you cum.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Can't possibly say he has a preference, he adores both equally. He'll love burying your face deep in his groin till you feel that little ache on the back of your throat, and keep you there till you're out of air; he'll also love burying himself between your thighs, especially when you wrap them tight against his face and squeeze it - he could die on the warmth of your thighs and cunt.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

As mentioned before, it highly depends on his mood. When taming, when fucking you rough, punishing - he'll go fast and rough enough to get you out air while trying to restrain your voice; "Hell- hm, d'you like it now, are you gonna keep the attitude- hn- now? Hm?" he'll moan, pressing your whole body against the wall, fucking you standing.

If passionate, he'll take his time with you in a slow pace, slow movements more like a dance of his hips against yours in syntony. He'll hum pretty words in your ear and promise you the world; "M' gonna fuckin' marry you, hun... have this pretty little cunt everyday."

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Although he likes to have freedom and time to fuck you straight and get at least two delicious orgasms out of you, he's a very busy man and you're too a very busy woman, and quickies are simply very convenient for the both of you. I'd say quite often, giving the circumstances - which doesn't mean that he doesn't, at least twice a week, spares time to fuck you the way he likes.

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

He's a bit old fashioned, but he's willing to experiment if it's nothing too eccentric. If you ask nicely, he'll try; if you're not familiar with it he'll also love teaching you a bit more of bdsm, since he's bit of an adept.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Lots of stamina. Wouldn't go all night long because he simply doesn't have to, he's very experienced, good at what he does and he knows it. He knows what buttons to press to make you feel good; he lasts two good delicious long rounds, and that's enough to get you to heaven.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

Again, a bit old fashioned; so I don't think he own many toys. He does own ropes he'll love to use on you, and as for the rest he'd rather use his own hands. He wouldn't refuse to use toys if asked though, probably wouldn't be too comfortable with using on himself, but would definitely use them on you.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh, he loves restraining you, girl. Days without seeing him? You won't touch, won't relieve yourself in any other way. You'll wait, patiently, agonizingly, like the good girl you are, for him to arrive. He'll let you climbing up the walls, craving him. If he's in mission, he'll send you pictures, videos - that'll make you want to scream for not being able to touch yourself while watching. When he comes back, IF he thinks you deserve it, he'll fuck you; if not, he'll make you beg. If you disobey him, get yourself ready for when he arrives. That'll be a fun ride.

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Not exactly loud, but very vocal. He grunts, says dirty things against your ear in a low, raspy whisper - will get moans out of you for he loves seeing his little girl squirming under him. Will encourage you not holding your voice back, and if you're in a dangerous spot and could possibly be seen, he'd shush you with a deep thrust - or by occupying your mouth with his fingers instead.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Has a picture of you in his wallet and finds it the most absolutely romantic and cute thing ever. And he's right it is

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

He's definitely big, but that's not the best part of it, not what really caught you off: he's thick. Swollen, a little thicker in the middle and thins towards the tip - just enough to stretch you out entirely anytime he goes inside you. Full of blood pumping veins and surrounded by a fair amount of hair, arghhh I want it

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

He though he was going back to his teenager years in those first months after meeting you. Hell, he'd be craving for you for the least things - he definitely felt young again. It's high, he's not compulsive but the bare sight of your body makes him think of the nastiest things - and that's been even before the two of you actually started that fling, that later one became the relationship you have now.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

This is a very tired man we're talking about. After making sure you're okay, all good, clean, warm, cozy, not thirsty and feeling loved, he'll collapse on your bare breasts hugging you for dear life - don't you dream of waking up before him because you won't get to push him out of yourself, like - no way.

#cod fic #john price #captain john price #john price x you #captain price x reader #captain price x you #captain price x female reader #price x you #cod mw2 #price smut #john price smut #captain john price x reader #captain john price x you #cod smut #call of duty smut

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save-the-villainous-cat · 1 year

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Inspired by that previous snippet of yours, write one where in the bathroom Villian is taking care of their hero's numerous hickies they gave them all over their body? Post frickling frackling?

The villain’s fingers slid down the hero’s exposed back and even though the hero was a little more than just tired, their body flinched.

“Easy,” the villain murmured and the hero could see their eyes piercing into their back in the mirror. Subconsciously, the hero’s gaze fixed on the villain’s, observing with the same intensity the villain used to observe their back. Once they actually looked at each other through the reflection, the hero was quite flustered. “Sleepy?”

“Yeah,” the hero answered. The hero didn’t know where the villain got their stamina from but it was impressive to say the least. Most of the time, the hero fell asleep immediately but the villain could last several rounds and go after their day five minutes later.

Their fingers travelled down the hero’s back again.

“I overdid it.”

“I like it,” the hero said. “It’s like putting paint on a canvas.”

“You’re a masterpiece without my artistic efforts.” They kissed the hero’s shoulder very softly. “You don’t need me for that.”

The villain put their flat hand on the hero’s shoulder, trying to cover as much space full of hickeys. The hero felt the familiar warmth as the villain attempted to get rid of the blood beneath their skin with their powers.

As always, the villain traced the long, deep scar on the hero’s back. Sometimes it was distracting, especially when the villain was under them and the hero tried to concentrate. But the hero guessed it was their subconscious telling them to obey.

“You know that happened years ago, right?” Their shoulder got hot and the hero knew that was the only comfortable pain they had ever experienced.

“Hm?”

The hero reached the scar and let their fingers go over it.

“Oh, yeah…” The villain let go of their shoulder and found a new place to heal. “You were still so young.”

“You were young, too, you know. I forgave you.” The villain looked at the hero’s reflection and despite their attempted smile, they seemed to feel guilty.

It had been painful. To get stabbed in the back felt horrible but being betrayed? God, the hero hadn’t been able to leave their house for months. They hadn’t eaten, had barely slept…all of it had pulled them into a depression that sucked on them like a parasite. Forgiveness had taken its sweet time.

“You made a mistake. People make mistakes. Especially at seventeen,” the hero said. They wanted to take the villain’s hand but they knew they couldn’t reach it.

“We didn’t talk for years. We lost too much time,” the villain said. “I feel like all I can do is apologise over and over again but it doesn’t change anything.”

“Hey…” The hero turned around and hooked one finger into the villain’s pants to pull them closer. “We needed that time for ourselves. We didn’t lose anything.”

The villain didn’t seem to be satisfied with that answer.

“I hate hurting you,” the villain said. “I hate that I can’t heal that scar. I hate that…I hate what I did to you.”

“I’m not something broken you have to fix, darling,” the hero said. They smiled and cupped the villain’s face gently.

“I know…but I carved myself into you. I forced this onto you and it’s a reminder for both of us what kind of monster I used to be.”

“You have changed, though. And I forgive that kid who followed orders blindly because they were scared.” The hero stood up on their tiptoes, now the same height as the villain. “And there’s absolutely nothing you can do about it.”

They grabbed the villain’s jaw and kissed them very gently. Although they knew the villain needed more time, the hero would repeat these words for centuries if it meant that their partner would finally accept this.

#writing snippet #heroxvillain prompt #heroxvillain snippet #heroes and villains #hero #villain #hero x villain #heroxvillain #an answer for an ask #request

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imagined-rubbermen · 4 months

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There's a lot that no one ever tells you about acclimating to becoming a rubber drone. Granted, everyone that used the Dronification Kit can't really talk about it, and most of them won't communicate just because their "master" forbids, or something. The lack of needs wasn't hard to get used to, if anything that's a lot of worries off my back. But no breathing? No talking? The lack of bodily functions felt alien. At least I could still see and hear, even if I lacked the body parts to do so. But my hearing and vision was so clear, so crisp, that it was overwhelming. The combined sensory deprivation and amplification was a lot to handle, so I did what usually helps me; I took a walk.

It was raining that night, and the rain kinda helped calm me down. I could differentiate each droplet hitting my new rubber skin, and it drowned out my anxiety. The increased sensitivity was a godsend now, and I savoured it. As I walked, my movements became more simplified, rigid, focused, yet flexible, softer, pliable. I assumed that's my flesh and bone turning into rubber now. The ideas in my mind about how to use my new body made me feel like my blood was pumping, even if I lacked such.

When I got home, I went to the bathroom to dry off. However, the rain made me so smooth, I got a little carried away. I relaxed and felt myself up right on the spot. I rubbed myself all over, my tightly defined chest, my smooth helmet like face, even my crotch. That last one was the biggest surprise, I didn't have anything down there. No shaft, no balls, no anus. There was a weird lock imprint on my bulge, but other than that, I really liked it. I knew I'd love being a featureless rubber drone.

Eventually I felt the sensation of climaxing; the rush, the release, the exhaustion, but I didn't come. After all, I didn't need human anatomy to pleasure myself. The best part? It took almost no time at all for my new rubbery, smooth, elastic body was ready for round two, and I went again, my body squeaking alone on the bathroom floor. After climaxing again, I let myself fall asleep on the bathroom floor.

It's weird now, my life that is. So many people think I have a "master" or an "owner" but instead I'm the master of my life. I'm made of rubber now, and if anyone gives me any issues, they can barely hurt me, while I show them what I can do. Now I have complete control of myself, my emotions, my body, my life. My libido is ready to fire on all cylinders whenever, and I can feel myself for hours sometimes, and can easily stop. I was like a machine, although I kinda am.

Of course, I saw an opportunity, and sometimes sell my "services" to lonely men that need that sexual satisfaction of an object. Of course they know I'm in charge, and getting into a fight with a rubber drone is not something I'd advise (although some of those guys really liked it, so what do I know?). I'll let them play with me. Some guys like to smell and lick me, like how I would play with rubber drones before I became one. Some guys would try to fuck me, although without any orifices, their shafts rubbed against me until they came. A few beat me, which I kinda liked, probably cause my rubber body would bend and twist with ease.

Mainly though I've found myself being kind of a therapist, letting men air out their emotions out. Sure, a few were still in the closet, and few were still a virgin. For those men, I went the extra mile. Of others, they'd just talk. I guess being a gay man can be isolating at times, like how almost no rubber drone I met seems to be independent. Unsurprisingly, being made of rubber meant I was comfortable to hug and cuddle, and in those moments, being a rubber drone is really worth it.

From that, my life is perfect now. The strangest thing is that I don't need clothing anymore. My body is so featureless that I don't feel naked, like my rubber skin is a suit anyways. Even when I do wear clothes I tend to mainly wear plain, oversized clothes, mostly gym stuff. However, sometimes at night I'll walk alone in the nude, just me and the night air. And when it rains like that first night I was a drone, it's so... Perfect...

It's not for everyone, maybe not even you. But if you still want to experience it, I'd suggest a gimp suit first before getting a Dronification Kit. Or if you just wanna find out what a rubber drone is like, I'm $50 hour.

#ai generated #rubbermen #gay rubber #gay gear #rubber drone #posts with a story #personal favourites

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yzafre · 1 month

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thoughts on tmnt 2003

I finally finished watching 2003 for the first time! I've been compiling thoughts as I go along, so here they all are, for the "I like hearing what new people think of my favorite things" crowd (and also just to give myself a place to put them).

Spoiler alert: it's mostly positive, and forgiving of the less-than-positive. This gets long, so I put it below a read more:

Okay, so I saw everyone talking about how different Rise was from 2012, and how it jarred people, and some people couldn’t stomach it, but I never saw anyone mentioning 2003’s place in this discussion? Because I didn’t realize just how much 2012 pulled from 2003, and I feel like the expectations that set about what it means to do a new iteration of the franchise definitely had a place in how people received something different

On that note, I kind of want to do a “who wore it better” post about all the arcs 2012 adapted... (although 2003 probably also pulled its ideas from somewhere else – I've heard the comics, maybe? I barely know anything about those, so have no idea how closely they’re connected.).

The City at War arc (good series of episodes, btw) really clarified a point of difference for me in how I understand 2003 and 2012 Raphael. And by that I mean I think 12!Raph would agree with 03!Leo? Not on the honor/it’s our fault point, but on the “the gangs are out there hurting people, and we should do something about it”. I’d need to re-watch some episodes to check my work here (I think the episode where they meet Murakami sticks out most in my head?) but 12!Raph seemed to have – at least verbally – an investment in the idea of stopping bad guys simply because they were hurting people.

Okay so obviously Same As It Never Was is agonizing, BUT. Leo in Usagi’s world was SOOOOO funny to me. omg. Everyone just being all “ninja deceit”! “Dishonorable ninja”!! With Leo’s whole... deal. Like from the beginning of the show I was like “isn’t bushido a samurai thing?” when Leo brought it up, so to see it being highlighted here is. Mwah. Even Usagi being “bluh bluh you’re turning me into a ninja with all this sneaking around >:(". SO funny. I was dying.

I’ve talked several times on how 2012 invested in inter-connected, long-form plots rather than being purely episodic, so it’s interesting to see 2003 move that way as the seasons go on! I don’t think it ever quite reaches the level of ‘12, but you can definitely see how the writers were inspired by the plot work going on here, and went “okay, can we do that but more?” The differences between how the two shows do it is interesting, too, but that would be a whole other conversation.

Similarly, I can see how part of Rise’s inspirations might’ve been some of the weirder world-building stuff going on in ‘03. Everything about the underground city/ the Y’Lyntians, the idea of the Utrom/Kraang being here since long ago, all the more mystic stuff that ‘12 only sometimes dabbled in. ((I also think part of the way Rise was written was to be in dialogue with the themes of ‘03 and ‘12, but that’s also a different conversation.))

I was aware of Grudge Match before watching the show, but given what I knew about it I honestly expected Mikey to be much more obnoxious about it? Like yes he wouldn’t shut up about it in the multi-part immediately after the Nexus arc, but after that it seemed like he only mentioned it, what, once every couple episodes? Grudge Match implies he was louder about it off screen – which would be in character – but given how good the show usually is at “show don’t tell” for setting up characterization it stood out to me.

Okay this is petty but. I am getting very tired of the constant movie quotes. Stop that.

Okay so on the topic of “show don’t tell” characterization – Leo's ptsd arc was good. Like this was a thing I knew about before starting the show but everyone was right it was goooood. Like obviously within the limitations of a kids show, but a wonderful amount of nuance for that audience. It tracks so well start to finish, even from season 1 where Leo was shown to have this. Really strong but devastatingly rigid sense of identity? Like what it means to be a warrior, and who he has to be because of that. Like the thing with his identity being tied to the swords, and then the reason why he was tempted by Shredder’s initial (lying) offer. It all tracks to like. Okay when he fails. When he can’t live up to it. Of course it shattered his mental state and threatened his sense of identity. Of course it did. And then just several arcs of different plots but with this other character story woven through them. Just in how he was approaching it. This is the shit I was wanting from ‘12 the whole time.

And Usagiiii. Usagi. I love him so much, and this was such great use of him. Building up a solid, believable foundation for a very enjoyable relationship between him and Leo, then bringing it back at this critical juncture in Leo’s character. FUCK their conversations in Samura Tourist were so good. Amazing. Fantastic.

Actually just all the work that’s done with the turtle’s allies is great. The homeless/junkyard people. The super-heroes. Leatherhead. Usagi. The Daimyo. Just... all of it? I love it? It makes the world feel more alive and the turtles grounded in it as like. Real people. Who make connections and upkeep them and. Yeah I love it.

I reached Tale of Master Yoshi and noooooo it’s. It’s the 2012. It’s the 2012 backstory. The inspiration for 2012’s whole thing… its right here… ((Although is it just me or,,, does Yoshi (our hero) look a lot more western compared to Mashimi (our villain)? There’s something about that.... hm. Hmmmmm.))

Hello season 5! A!Ni!Me! Bullshit!!! Very accelerated anime bullshit. Obliviously this is a huge inspiration for Rise, though I appreciate that that show took more time for the powers to build up. Also the ninja tribunal are assholes and very questionable teachers. Would it kill you to actually explain anything ever.

Huhhh okay so I am picking up a LOT of Rise vibes not just from the mystic powers/glowy lines, but from Splinter’s deal with the ninja tribunal, and how they wouldn’t hesitate to sacrifice the boys, and how the brothers need to stick together. VERY reminiscent of Rise!Splinter’s deal with the Hamato.

Noooo not Oroku Saki getting possessed by a demon. Hello Rise backstory. I see. It really all comes back to 2003 doesn’t it? Rise was definitely made by people who looked at S5 and went “okay, can we do that but more?”

Have I talked about how much I love that from the beginning the show was just like “oh yeah also actual superheroes exist in this world, it’s just an accepted thing”? Because I do. Love it a lot. Having most of them be really old/kinda retired/people are forgetting about them was a good idea though because otherwise. Their spotty presence at cataclysmic events would be much more noticeable.

Dragon fight is cool. That is all.

The fact that at this point Stockman is just straight up like “Let me die. Please let me die” is. Well it sure is something!

I’d heard the last two seasons weren’t as good and… yeah. Like it’s not bad, it’s just… less good. I miss the world and characters of the previous season. Though hey did the Rise gear designs steal some inspo from this season?

HOWEVER. The episode introducing the dark turtles. Where Leo’s like “if you’re really my clone, you should value honor and the code of bushido!” and his counterpart just... stares solemnly for an extended time before being like “lmao yeah nope” and sucker punching him was hilarious, and got a sharp laugh out of me. Favorite moment in this season. I actually liked this episode overall, too.

So. Hm. Mikey has always been very un-serious – a jokester, (verbally) a bit of a coward at times, easily distracted. But as this season goes on it really feels like they’re amping it up/exaggerating those traits, to the point of stripping away anything else at times. Similarly, his brother’s willingness to indulgence/reactions to his silliness seems to fluctuate wildly, but on a downward trend - they always razzed him, but in this season... well they paired his increased goof-offs with increased put downs/jokes about it. This, while a bit annoying to me as a characterization choice, does track on a more meta-textual level. By this point it’s 2006-2007. 2007 is the year Big Bang Theory aired, which I find to be, uh…. Tonally representative of the cultural attitude in the US between 2008 annnnd… 2013-ish? There was this extra-concentrated feeling of, like… snideness and sarcasm that I remember around that time period. It’s also very prominent in TMNT 2012 – especially in Season 1 (when binging that show I was hit by high school memories so viscerally that I said, out loud, “oh, GOD, we really were all Like That, weren’t we?” only a few episodes in). Similarly to my post about the increasing frequency of the “Gibbs slap”, I find it interesting to see the way the changing attitudes are reflected in the same show as time passes.

LET STOCKMAN REST jeZUS

Overall, I see three kinds of episodes in season 6: mediocre, good, and what I call “good but out of order”. What I mean by that last bit, is like… okay, the Graduation episode was good in theory, but felt very strange coming after Season 4/5, you get me? Things where the concept is solid, but seems to be placed in the wrong position in their arcs, which I think is a knock-off effect from the lightened tone of the season.

Oh. I just got to the second episode of S7 and. I don’t…. hm. So, I could deal with the simplified designs in Fast Forward, because they got some cool new gear stuff added in as well, but this is. Uh. Worse. But even beyond that – the dynamics also feel sort of off. If Casey has been going to this gym for a while, why is April only now doing something about it….? I don’t feel like she would have let this go just because the guys weren’t there. Also I'm putting it down here now that I think the whole digital world thing is kinda dumb

I do think 2012 looked at a lot of the ideas for S7 and went “interesting idea, we can do it way better”, which I commend them for. Admittedly, these can also be stock tropes: April getting possessed also reminds me of Ghost Busters/Zuul, and mind control is a pretty standard trope, but… well, you know. 2012 took so much else from 2003, you can’t help but wonder if they pulled inspiration here, too.

Oh they are wayyyy over-using the Shredder/Foot Clan sting/motif this season and it is getting,,, annoying,,,

I kept waiting to see what they were doing with it, but they did not handle Donnie’s guilt arc with anywhere near the finesse they did Leo’s. It wasn’t… horrible, I guess. It’s just notably lacking in comparison. They didn't even have Leo really sit down with him to talk about his own experience like???

I did appreciate them bringing back all those side characters in the finale. I’ve already mentioned I love the plethora of allies and friends they gave the turtles in this iteration, so obviously that was going to please me, though they could have gotten a little bit better showing in the final fight.

Lmao the guy I thought was gonna be rat king!!!! He’s there lurking and watching in the distance???

Good show! But yeah I’d agree with people who say that the heart of the show is really in the first 5 seasons. After that the characters and stories feel a bit… flattened? The more I pushed through the last two seasons, the more I was missing the first 5, which I really, really enjoyed. Ranking on my personal tastes of the series I’ve watched so far, meeting each show where it's at, it goes Rise > 2003 > 2012. Rise and 2003 are really close, with Rise just beating it on account of “it was my first show” and also “I REALLY like anime bullshit”, although there’s potential for that to shift or fluctuate as it marinates in my brain. That being said, 2012 is the one that makes the creative part of my brain go crunch-crunch, so take that as you will. Continuing to go backwards puts me at the 1987 series, so I suppose that’s next. I have plans to watch the new TotTMNT with family during the holiday season, so unfortunately I’m up for an (agonizing) wait on that one.

#tmnt #tmnt 2003 #yza talks about a thing

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udretlnea · 1 year

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An Idealized Image

Prompt: You die after getting hit by a truck and inspect your suddenly ideal appearance in the new world. Inspired by this post by @mists-reading-nook

A/N: Man, starting a story with disconnected parts is fun and difficult. First time using this literary device so be patient with me.

Words: 755

You hadn’t expected getting hit by a truck to hurt so damn much. But you’d gladly do it again if it meant you’d protect a child from getting run over.

Although you were dying, you still could feel the barest sensations around you; vaguely there was muffled shouting and crying. Good, the kid was safe and the driver was getting yelled at. Not that that mattered to you anymore.

Oh well, at least it’s over now.

The first world has been chosen. Initiating upload link.

You thought you heard someone, but that’s crazy. You were dead. The dead don’t hear voices. Maybe this was one of those post-death auditory hallucinations. Do…do the dead even have those? Actually, I guess nobody would know…except the dying. Ugh. What a morbid thought. I expected myself to have prettier final thoughts.

Link established. Uploading soul to the Samsara system now. Beginning samsara cycle #1…godspeed.

There it was again. You started thinking that maybe you weren’t dead, when suddenly you felt your soul being pulled down…down…down into the darkness. Rather than become panicked you felt a sense of peace. You allowed yourself to be carried until you felt a shift in the pressure around you.

Before you could realize what was happening, you blacked out.

////

He’s not waking up…should I do it manually?

Hang on, what are those kitsunes doing?

You feel something tap-tap-tapping against your side. Your eyes flutter open, barely registering the fact that there’s green all around you. Turning your head, you see several orange foxes nudging your body. The sleep leaves you immediately. You surge to your feet and back away from them

They didn’t make any moves toward you. The littlest one stared at you with its big eyes; after a moment it seemed to be satisfied. It turned to the others and made a sound. It wasn’t long before they ran away, leaving you by yourself. Come to think of it, where were you?

Everywhere around, you can see plants, trees, and just general things you’d find in a forest-wait, forest!?

Oh no, where the hell did I end up? Is this some kind of spiritual afterlife? You run, not really going anywhere, just someplace to get your bearings. You find a small stream. Thinking quickly, you examine your reflection, fearful that you looked like a ghost. However, what greets you instead is your pristine face without any blemishes.

Huh? Is that…me? No, no it can’t be. I’m not that…I’m not this immaculate! This is a dream, this has to be a dream! You do anything you can to wake up; you smack, slap, and pinch yourself all in that order, but it’s no use. It seems you weren’t dreaming.

Defeated, you decide to examine yourself. Amazingly, your skin was smooth, but you don’t recall it being like that. Furthermore, your eyes were completely different. Since when were your pupils a yellow pinprick, or your irises a brilliant shade of silver? Most concerning of all was your hair. It was white as snow. You pull at it, looking closely at the roots to check if it wasn’t dyed. You looked rather beautiful. Additionally, you finally noticed that your clothes were different.

When you died, you were wearing a hoodie and regular pants and shoes. Now, you were wearing a simple white kimono; a closer inspection revealed that it looked like genuine silk. Confused yet satisfied with your examination, you looked at your surroundings. Everything was slightly dark as if it were nighttime.

Weird, but ultimately it doesn’t matter. What DOES matter is figuring out where the heck I am. You push yourself off the ground, shaking the dirt off of your clothes. You look around you, wondering which direction to walk towards when something catches your eye. Squinting, you could make out the silhouette of a city in the distance. It almost looked like Japan, but at the same time, it wasn’t. Well, there’s the path to civilization right there. Now all I need to do is get over there without trouble.

You notice a well-worn path. You take it, pleased that you took the first step in your journey. Hopefully, you’d find what you needed to know.

////

Elsewhere, a solitary figure was meditating alone in a different plane of existence. Here in this space, she would achieve eternity and resist erosion.

And then she felt it. A sudden wave of divine energy sent tingles throughout her incorporeal body. This was unprecedented…what could have caused it? She needed to know. She had to know.

#sagau #self aware genshin #genshin self aware #genshin imagines #it’s short but they can’t all be long. Or winners.#I’m satisfied I managed to include a somewhat cohesive story with hints of a plot #perhaps making a story with disconnected events will be easier than I thought.#genshin impact sagau #genshin fanfic #what if we started in Inazuma instead of Mondstadt btw?#I imagine Ei would be curious with you #oh we'll see where the plot goes

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celestialsoyeon · 16 days

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Exhausted

Summary: Soonyoung pushes himself harder than anyone else because he doesn't want to let the other members down as the comeback is nearing. But his stubborness will have consequences, this time.

content: exhaustion, fainting, members turned medics.

wc: 1,22k

Soonyoung was rehearsing the choreography again, stubbornly bringing changes and corrections to everything he deemed perfectible despite Minghao being by his side and tell him the choreo was good as it was. It was late at night, but he couldn’t resolve to go back to the dorms until the choreography was ready for the other members to practice.

There was no way he would fall behind on the schedules. He needed to get it all ready for them. He would sleep later. He was Kwon Soonyoung after all. He had boundless energy in everyone’s eyes, he would be able to go through the day even if he didn’t get much sleep, as always. He was always able to hold on.

Today would be no exception, right?

It would. Soonyoung thought he would be able to hold on for the day, but around midday, he started feeling dizzy. He dismissed it as nothing, never complaining. Never ever would he burden his bandmates with his problems.

But they all had seen something was amiss with Soonyoung. They all started being worried about him as they saw him doubling over and being barely able to stand. Seungkwan instantly got worried and held him steady, helping him to sit down.

“Hyung, slow down. There’s no need to rush right now. You’re just going to get sick doing all that by yourself..”

The worry in Seungkwan’s eyes broke Soonyoung apart, although it was far from being the first time he saw him like that. Seungkwan always had the tendency to worry a lot about his fellow members and was taking care of all of them as best as he could.

Soonyoung just smiled at him, not showing how much pressure and fatigue he was feeling. But Seungkwan knew. He knew Soonyoung better than anyone else and knew he was really pushing his limits.

“I’m fine” Soonyoung simply said, only to see Seungkwan shaking his head.

“No, you’re not. We’re friends since ten damn years, if you think I can’t see you’re reaching your limits, then think twice because I can see it. Even Jihoon’s worried about you. And it takes a lot to do so because we all trust you. But you’re pushing too far.”

“It’s not like I have a choice, Kwan. I have to do it. I have to do better. I have to be the best and to live up to my reputation. I’m the performance team’s leader, I can’t afford to fall behind.”

“You’ll fall behind if you push yourself too hard and get sick. It’s when you risk it the most.”

Soonyoung shook his head, stubborn as ever.

“I’m fine. Don’t worry about me. I’m not pushing myself that hard.”

The vocalist sighed in defeat. No matter what he said, Soonyoung would probably not listen to him. He had the comeback on his mind, nothing else. Not even his own health. So despite his worry, Seungkwan decided to leave him to do whatever he wanted. He didn’t want to spark an argument with him.

However, he promised himself to keep an eye on him, and be ready to act if anything was to go wrong. He wasn’t even focused on practicing anymore, his focus was solely on making sure Soonyoung was safe.

This moment of dizziness had been a first warning, and Seungkwan knew that if Soonyoung kept going, things would get really worse. He could collapse, and he really didn’t want this. He couldn’t see him collapse. Not once again.

It wasn’t the first time Soonyoung was pushing himself too much. Even the two other leaders said it was best to stop him before he gets hurt. But even Jihoon couldn’t get Soonyoung to slow down the slightest bit.

Soonyoung was too stubborn to admit this way of working was taking a toll on his health. But he couldn’t hide it for much longer. Not when he couldn’t even stand anymore. He had been unable to get up after taking a small break - Seungcheol had forced him to sit down for a while and drink water- and at this very moment, Seungkwan understood things were about to go awry.

He was about to tell Soonyoung to slow down again, but as he was starting to talk to him, the dancer collapsed, going limp on the floor.

The vocalist ran to him, his eyes widening.

“Soonyoung!”

He called his name once, twice, shaking his shoulders. He got no response and Soonyoung remained limp.

“Damn.. Someone call an ambulance! Seungcheol hyung, help me lay him on his side!”

The leader immediately came to help Seungkwan while Joshua, ever the collected one in crisis situations, called for help. Seokmin ran in the corridor to get the first aid kit, coming back with it in a matter of seconds.

Seungkwan thanked him and checked on Soonyoung again, trying to get a response from him. He still got no response. Soonyoung wasn’t waking up at all. With trembling hands, Seungcheol checked his friend’s vitals, his eyes widening.

“He’s still there, but barely.. Time is a luxury we can’t afford, we have to do something now..!”

Everyone looked at each other, their leader’s words shaking all of them to the core. Seungkwan’s hands were moving efficiently, doing everything he could right now, without much success. Soonyoung still wasn’t waking up, his condition was deteriorating rapidly.

Seungkwan looked up at Joshua. He was worried, terrified deep inside, but stayed collected for Soonyoung’s sake. His best friend needed him, now more than ever. He couldn’t afford to fail him right now.

He checked on him again, only to find even more worrying results.

“Joshua, call them again and tell them to hurry. Soonyoung won’t be able to hold on for much longer and we don’t have a lot of supplies to help him. We need help, now!”

Joshua nodded and immediately called 119 again.

“Please, we need some help now! Our friend is getting worse and he won’t be able to hold on much longer! He’s barely there anymore..!”

The operator tried to reassure Joshua, telling him help was going to arrive soon, but the latter remained really tense.

“We don’t have the luxury to wait any longer, we have to do something or we’re going to lose him!”

They were all getting anxious, but they were doing their best to stay calm and collected. They were Soonyoung’s best shot at surviving until the paramedics reached them, so they couldn’t afford to fall apart right now.

The operator guided the members through first aid, but the more time passed, the worse things were going despite the care his bandmates gave him to the best of their ability. Seungkwan was doing his best to keep Soonyoung alive, checking very regularly on him.

After more daunting minutes, the paramedics finally arrived, when the members thought Soonyoung might die before help reached them. They worked to stabilize the exhausted dancer, and soon after treating him, things got better, though Soonyoung was still unconscious.

Seungkwan didn’t say anything. He was just standing there, eyes empty. He just had the scare of his life and needed to be cared for too.

Jeonghan laid a hand on Seungkwan’s shoulder before pulling him into a hug.

“Soonyoung will be okay.. He’s going to be fine.. You did well, Seungkwan-ah.”

Seungkwan nodded, but he remained tense. The road ahead would be long and daunting.

#kpop sickfic #seventeen #seventeen fanfic #kpop #svt #hoshi #hoshi centric

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icekingofhope · 7 days

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who is your favorite character from LMK? And your least favorite?

oh well I have many favorites of mine although my main favorite is the camel ridge trio (Peng tusk and azure) they are honestly not just my most favorite villains of lmk but in media

And what the season 4 special did to them was such bullshit but I already went in why I hate the special before

Cause like I can see their cause and actually rooted for them to win in season 4 I can see why they want to dethrone the jade emperor and why they wouldn’t let anyone stand in their way!

especially considering the times of ancient China cause let’s face it despite how beautiful and amazing the ancient times were…they were really problematic cause like slavery was a thing and normalized back then

and we also have problems in modern society with politics world hunger etc so it would make since why azure Peng and tusk would do the things they do and I can understand why they felt so betrayed by wukong cause imagine your leader who you haven’t seen in 500 years (assuming they didn’t even know he was sealed away under a mountain) and hearing about him again but he is working for a monk who was a celestial to get scriptures from India and your said brother had attacked not only demons but your old sworn brothers as well and even killed one (aka macaque)

I would honestly feel betrayed and angry myself yet I love how azure doesn’t hate wukong or hold grudges he literally was gonna keep him in the scroll till he killed the jade emperor then he would have released him and help him see reason

like I can talk about these three All damn day they are my absolute favorites of mine and they deserved a lot better then what the special did (and azure definitely did not deserve to be villainized and transformed into some type of tyrant and don’t say “well he had a lot of power so-“ my friend he was king before and from what I seen in jttw he was a great leader he literally calls his soldiers little wind cutters and don’t say they were always evil keep in mind it was wukong who attacked first they weren’t gotta hurt the monk or anything it just when wukong attacked they got pissed off cause it this)

and it makes me sad that people would hate these guys subjecting them to stereotypes that Peng is a asshole azure is a evil person and Yellowtusk…well who cares about him? Cause like all three of them are amazing characters in the show and book and mythology (even though it’s mostly Peng who is most of the mythology)

anyways for my least favorite…

it has to be either xiangliu or the mayor

unfortunately I could care less for xiangliu like I personally think he is a massive hypocrite and also batshit insane-

like he is not a monster he is just a psychopath cause who in their right mind literally starts the end of the world CAUSE OF FUCKING CHAOS?!

Now he may probably come back in next season I don’t know but right now I hate him

for the mayor….to me I don’t really also care much to me he is just the lady bone demons servant and it sucks cause like we don’t get to see why he is the way he is and why he fellows lady bone demon like a lapdog

and it feels weird at the end of the season 3 special he is nowhere to be seen i feel like if they expanded his lore more i may would have find him cool but like there is barely shit about him

(also I kinda hate his design it just looks so basic like I’m not asking for full details but make him not look like a business man with a bad haircut)

so yeah my main favorite is azure Peng and tusk and my least are either xiangliu and mayor

#lego monkie kid #monkie kid #lmk azure lion #lmk peng #lmk yellow tusk elephant #yellow tusk elephant #yellowtusk the wise #golden winged peng #azure lion #xiang liu #nine headed demon #nine headed beast #the mayor #lmk the mayor #Lmk

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leeknowsnot · 1 year

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scenario — hold me (han x reader)

genre: angst, comfort but also not comfort

warnings: mentions of death, reused scene of you breaking plates, friedrich's ataxia again because i cannot get over your lie in april, implied character death, implied sex but no detailed smut

summary: you and jisung broke up, only to be reunited by the worst scenario possible; you fainted at a bar that he was in as well and now you're in the hospital, waking up to a confused jisung. you tell him you inherited a rare disease from your family called Friedrich's Ataxia and you've been diagnosed with this for almost a year, after the both of you broke up. it's clear neither of you are over each other

kind of reused the whole breaking plate scene but i swear this time, it's a lot more detailed, and different too so i hope you'd still give it a read!!

He didn't expect to hear that. That you would tell him that. At first, he thought you were joking. He thought it was a funny ploy to get some guilty reaction from him but your face showed none of the sort.

His whole body feels frozen in time as he continued to listen to you. He feels like he's been stabbed in the heart the moment the words leave your mouth.

"Friedreich's Ataxia..." he repeats.

The words felt so hollow and empty in his ears.

"...Y/N..."

There is nothing more he can say at the moment. He's completely speechless now.

You bitterly chuckle under your breath. "I... didn't tell you before because we already broke up by the time I found out."

"And I knew you'd be worried, but I was... trying to get away from you. So you would have enough time to move on to not feel hurt once I..."

You stop, the reality of everything finally sinking in like a boat. "...Once I die."

"Y/N..."

He can't help but let out a deep sigh of disappointment. He's not even mad at you for keeping a secret like that. It's not like you both had any commitment to one another anymore. But that doesn't change anything right now. In fact, this makes him want to cling on to you all the more.

"Y/n, I don't want to move on..." he whispers gently, "I don't want to lose you..."

His voice is filled with desperation, as if trying to beg you to not leave him behind.

You reach out for his hand, holding it tightly. Although for a split second, you could feel your grip falter.

Y/N close your eyes as a tear escapes. "I... I don't want to lose myself either," you say. "Jisung, I... What do I do?"

You look at him, a look of desperation bearing deep into your gaze. "I don't... want to die."

"I want to be with you..."

"Just a little bit longer."

...

Eventually, months pass for the both of you. You decided to let both your past problems and shortcomings behind, trying to live a new life together for the remaining duration of your life. You moved back in with Jisung.

However, it wasn't all clouds and rainbows.

Jisung was out at work, returning home within a couple of minutes and you were left at home. You were busying yourself with trying to help with house chores. After all, it was the least you could do after quiting your job since you barely had five months left until your impending demise.

You had a pile of plates in your hands, having washed them before you would put them back in the cupboard. You and Han only needed two at most anyway. However, as you were walking towards the kitchen, your legs suddenly became numb, making you yelp in surprise and fall on the floor, dropping the plates. It was a complete noise as the plates shattered upon impact on the ground.

You panicked, having lost feeling on your legs as you tried to find a way out of the broken plates.

Jisung hears your scream the moment he steps inside of the house. He quickly drops his bag and rushes towards you, only to see you struggle on the ground as you lost the feeling in your legs.

"Y/N!" He exclaims, quickly helping you up.

"I'll help you with those later. Are you okay?" He glances down at your knees, which now had a small bruise from the impact.

His eyes are filled with worry, not knowing what to do in this situation.

You tremble, alienated and freaking out at the sudden loss of feeling on your legs. Your eyes filled with tears as you look up at him.

"Jisung, I'm sorry I..." you sob, glancing at the mess. "I was just trying to help with the chores but my legs... My... legs, they just..."

You break down, sinking into his chest. With only a few months left to live, your condition was starting to act up frequently.

He brings you into his embrace, feeling you tremble as you broke down in his arms. You were crying, scared and confused as to what you were experiencing now.

Tears stung his eyes, feeling utterly powerless about the situation.

There was no cure.

There was no treatment.

He and you were left with nothing but time.

"Y/n..." He whispers gently, kissing your head as he rocks it back and forth. He wants to stay by your side despite the entire kitchen being a mess right now.

You apologized profusely as you cried into his chest, hands balling into fists.

You were afraid. Afraid of losing yourself. Afraid of death. Afraid of not being able to see Jisung again once the inevitable comes to claim your life.

"There's nothing to apologize for, really." His voice is gentle as he holds you tighter in his arms.

There was nothing he could do for you but hold you tight. In this situation, this was the only way he could comfort you, even if only a little bit.

"Don't be scared... I'm right here," he whispers softly. "I won't leave you alone, no matter what."

Eventually, your sobs die after a couple of minutes, turning into nothing but sniffs. You finally pull away, though hesitantly, to glance around at the mess.

"I broke so much plates..." you dejectingly said.

"That doesn't matter, Y/N." He takes a look at the broken plates beside them, feeling worried for you but deciding to not bring it up.

He brushes your hair away from your eyes just like what he used to do so many years ago each time you'd break down crying. He never thought he would be doing this again now.

"Don't overwork yourself anymore. Let me handle it." That was the least he could do for you.

You look at Han, tears attempting to pool within your eyes again. "But... you have so much stuff at work and... this is the least I could do to help you," you stop, looking down as your eyes flutter. "But I guess I just made things worse."

"Y/N..."

He brings you to his level once again so you both were face-to-face, and that's when he notices how much your eyes have gotten darker, more sunken. Your condition has grown worse and worse, and he can't help but feel helpless.

"Just rest up for now. My job is at least manageable. That much I can handle."

"Right now, you should just get better. I don't want to see you in this condition again." He tries to bring a smile onto his face, trying to ease your worries.

He was always so good at putting up an act just to make you feel better. Even if he was hurting too, seeing you like this.

You sniff, eyes staring into his. "But..."

"Please, don't push yourself," he begs, cupping your cheeks with his hands. "I just want to see you getting better."

"Just... promise me you'll give yourself a bit more of a break, yeah?"

The thought of losing you in this state pains him a thousand times more. He wants to see you smiling and happy for just a few more months until your time comes.

Both of you knew you won't get any better. Only worse. But Jisung's words always seemed to make it better. It always seemed to make you believe and hope that you will get better.

You give him a short nod, clinging onto him.

He smiles gently at you, caressing your neck and cheeks as his heart starts beating faster. He really couldn't stand to see you like this... not when everything was slowly coming to an end.

He wants to hold onto you... at least until the end.

"I love you, Y/n," he whispers. "There's nothing I wouldn't do for you... and that includes never leaving you alone."

"I love you too," you whisper back to him, exhaling a sob.

Eventually, Jisung carries you to the couch as you couldn't walk by yourself at the moment. You watch him sweep the broken plates from the floor, head resting on your arm as you gaze on him lovingly.

It was like falling in love all over again. And yet your remaining time would always come slapping you back in the face again with reality.

As he swept the broken plates away, all he could think about was the memories he shared with you. The walks around the park, the dates you had at restaurants, and the night he made love to you for the first time... they all replayed in his head, making his heart ache more than ever.

He looks up to see you, your eyes fixed on him as you gaze at him lovingly.

He smiles at you and sits beside you, taking your small hand into his. Just like how it always used to be.

Your lips part, eyes trailing from your intertwined hands to Jisung's face. You take in his features. The feeling of his hand on yours, because one day... One day you'll lose your ability to feel and touch him too.

So you savored this moment.

His heartbeat quickens for a moment as he looks into your eyes. He can feel his stomach flutter and his mouth get dry, unable to say a single word right now.

"Y/N..."

He wanted to say so much more, but his breath was caught up in his throat. He can feel his hand shake slightly, as if his body is being overwhelmed by his emotions. So, instead of saying anything else, he just stares at you and takes in your features. Trying to memorize all of it.

With your unoccupied hand, you caress Jisung's cheek. You memorizes every bump, every curve of his face.

"Jisung," you whisper. "Make love with me for the last time. I want to memorize all of you at this moment. While I still can."

Your eyes meet once more before he answers your request. His fingers caress your other cheek, as well as your lips because he wants to feel everything of you.

"Okay..." the word barely even leaves his lips as his body goes on autopilot.

He leans forward, pressing his lips against yours in the softest kiss imaginable.

It's like time has stopped for the both of you right now, where you're nothing but two people sharing their love for one last time.

Every kiss. Every touch. Every gasp. It held so much love as you both reveled in each other's presence. He held you as if he didn't want to let you go. He really doesn't want to.

The both of you laid on the bed side by side, naked bodies pressed against each other.

It was like you never wanted to let go and be apart from one another again. You were two love-stricken lovers, not wanting everything to end even though you knew that you were running out of time.

Jisung gazes down at you, your foreheads touching. He caresses your cheek gently.

"Let's stay like this forever," he whispers to you, "just like this."

With half-lidded tired eyes, you give him a small smile, nodding as you close your eyes.

"Yes. Let's stay like this," you say, exhaling comfortably. "Forever."

Both of you knew there was an underlying meaning in your statement. Forever was an impossible word. Especially for you whose days were counted.

"Hey, look at me."

Jisung stares intently at you, knowing that he needs to see your beautiful eyes once more as they open to look at him.

"Promise me that you'll be waiting for me on the other side," He whispers softly, touching each one of your fingers. "I might be late, but I'll come and look for you, alright?"

"I know it's silly, but that's what I truly feel right now."

He looks down at you once more, his eyes sparkling the moment they meet yours.

You give him a soft laugh. "I'm not dying yet right now Jisung," you lightly joke, closing your eyes once more.

Even if your eyes were closed, tears escaped your eyelids. "I'll wait for you. Even if it takes forever."

"And if reincarnation happens to be true," you pause. "I'll love you in every life."

Jisung can't help but let out a quiet laugh despite the tears streaming down his face. He gazes down at your face.

You looked so beautiful in his eyes right now... more beautiful than ever before.

"I'll love you... in this life, and in many lifetimes to come," he whispers. "Even if we can't be together forever this time."

He smiles softly before bringing his lips against your forehead.

"Rest, my love. Rest."

like and reblogs are very much appreciated!! (i cried while writing this at 2 am ngl)

#skz #stray kids #skz imagines #skz fanfic #stray kids fanfic #stray kids imagines #skz x reader #stray kids x reader #han jisung #han jisung x reader #han jisung x you #han jisung x y/n #han jisung angst #skz angst #stray kids angst #angst

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lucy90712 · 1 year

Text

Pedri- Messy

WC: 2.2k

I thought moving in with Pedri would be great we spent so much time together that it just made sense to officially move in together. I was always at his during the day and barely even slept at my place so it felt stupid paying the rent to only be there for a few hours a week. I thought it would be a simple transition as I thought I knew pretty much everything there is to know about Pedri but I was wrong. Turns out Pedri has been hiding the fact that he's actually a complete mess most of the time. He must have actually bothered to put things away or tidy when I was just visiting but now I've moved in he's stopped that and the place is a constant mess.

Everyday I come home from work and spend at least an hour washing dishes or picking up Pedri's training kit that he's just leaves all over the place. Today is my day off and usually I would do things I like to do such as go to the gym, read a book or catch up on my favourite shows but today I had to clean. I've been doing loads of overtime this week as I had a big deadline so I haven't been able to do the tidying I would do each day and now the whole house is a mess to the point that I can't stand to look at it any longer. It was hard to know where to even begin but after walking around to get ready I decided the best way forward was to start with all of my things and then work through each room.

Over the course of the day I went round and tidied then deep cleaned each room as the place was very much in need of it. It took me all day I was at it from when Pedri left for training to when he came back after meetings and other filming he had to do. By the time I was done my back and arms were hurting from the constant bending down and scrubbing. As much as it was hard work it felt so good to have it done and see all my hard work pay off as the house was truly spotless for probably the first time since Pedri moved in.

Just as I finished putting away all my cleaning supplies the door opened and Pedri came in and put his bag on the floor to come and give me a hug and a few kisses which were much appreciated. After greeting me he headed upstairs to change taking his bag with him but leaving his shoes and his boots in the middle of the entrance which any other day might not bother me but today annoyed me a bit. I put them where they are supposed to be and then headed upstairs myself to go and change as I had got a bit sweaty from cleaning. When I got to our bedroom I almost had a heart attack as yet again Pedri's stuff was everywhere and he had messed up everything I had organised neatly on his side of the room. Although it really wasn't that big of a deal it physically hurt to see everything that I had done all day be ruined in a matter of minutes. I could feel anger bubbling up inside of me as not only did Pedri not acknowledge that I had even cleaned the place he just went and made it a mess again expecting me to clean it up at some point like I'm some sort of maid and not his girlfriend.

"Baby can you put this stuff away please?" I asked him as nicely as I could as I entered the room

He completely ignored me and kept looking through his draws for something specific. The longer he ignored me the angrier I got but I didn't want to start an argument so I turned away to try and calm myself down until he actually spoke.

"Why do you always do this where the fuck have you put everything" he yelled

"Woah don't yell at me what are you looking for?" I asked angrily

"It doesn't even matter why are you so obsessed with putting everything in a certain place I hate it just leave my stuff where it is" he continued to yell

"But the place is a constant mess Pedri I can't live like that I cleaned this entire place today and all you do is come home and mess it up" I argued

"Well if you didn't hide all my stuff then the place wouldn't be such a mess" he retorted

"But it would be I'm the only one who ever picks anything up don't tell me you haven't noticed the state of the place this week when I've been too busy to clean I have turned into your maid Pedri not your girlfriend" I said

"I never asked you to do it so don't complain to me about it" he said

We were only going to keep fighting and getting angrier until we both said things we would regret so I decided to just walk out. On my way out I grabbed my phone and keys before just sitting in my car trying to decide where to go while thinking about everything that just happened. In the end I decided to go to Gavi's place as the two of us are really close plus he should be home. Along the way I calmed down so I wasn't so angry anymore instead my anger turned into sadness as I felt tears brimming in my eyes. Pedri and I never argue so when we do it always feels awful and now we have moved in together I worry about us drifting apart and eventually splitting up.

By the time I actually made it to Gavi's the tears had started falling even though it's only a short journey. Before actually going to the door I tried to wipe the ears from my face and hide the redness as I know Gavi will worry if I turn up crying but it didn't really work. When I actually knocked on the door I started to hope Gavi wasn't in. I mean why did I choose to to go to Pedri's best friends place after an argument we might be close but there's no way he'd take my side and even if he did I don't want to ruin their friendship. Before I could turn around and get back in my car the door opened and Gavi looked at me for a second before pulling me straight into a hug. When he pulled away he led me inside and sat down next to me on the sofa in silence for a few moments before starting to speak.

"What did he do?" Gavi asked

"Nothing we just had an argument and I needed to go somewhere before it went too far" I lied

"Now I know that's a lie you wouldn't be so upset if it was just an argument" he said

"Fine since we moved in together I noticed that Pedri never cleans up anything and usually I do it but this week I've been so busy with work that it all built up so today I deep cleaned everything and then when Pedri came home he just made a complete mess of everything I just feel like he doesn't appreciate me making an effort to keep the place clean" I ranted

"So he's being an asshole just like I expected" Gavi joked

"Yeah I guess so" I replied

"Look Pedri can be annoying but trust me he loves and appreciates you he is just very set in his ways and clearly having the place be a mess is one of them over time he will change I promise but in the meantime you have to get used to messy Pedri" he explained

"Thanks Gavi hearing that makes me feel better" I said

Pedri's POV

I was arguing with y/n when it just went quiet so I stopped what I was doing to find her as she never usually just walks away without saying anything. Just as I was about to head downstairs to see if she was down there I heard the front door shut which meant she had really just left in the middle of a fight. It made me more angry that she would just leave and not try and work through this as we never fight but when we do she always makes sure we don't stay angry at each other. As I thought about it more instead of staying angry I felt really bad especially when I went back into the bedroom and saw how much of a mess it was.

Y/n has spent her day off cleaning instead of doing what she wants and I can't even keep it tidy for more than 5 minutes. I know I'm not the tidiest person in the world and I always just leave things places but I always know where everything is but y/n has always been very neat and likes things to have their place. Before we moved in together I used to actually clean a bit more as I wanted to make her feel comfortable staying with me but since she has officially moved in I stopped trying and went back to my old ways. I have noticed that each day when I come home the place is cleaner than when I left which doesn't happen magically so y/n spends her free time doing that even though I know cleaning isn't her favourite thing to do.

Of course I had to go and start an argument just because I was in a bad mood and couldn't find what I wanted. I just feel awful that I shouted at her for something that's really my own fault after she put in all that work all day. All I wanted was to tell her how sorry I was but she left for a reason so I know I need to give her some time to calm down before I either wait for her to come home or go and find her. To really show her how sorry I am instead of just saying it I decided that I would actually tidy my things and organise them so that I can put them away and still know where they are to make the both of us happy.

It took a while but eventually everything was put away so I ran downstairs to head out and find y/n to apologise. I would wait for her to come home but I can't wait any longer before I apologise and make things better. It didn't take long for me to work out where she had gone as out of everywhere she could go when she's upset she would go to a friends and one of her closest friends is Gavi. Just to be sure I text Gavi to ask him if y/n was there before I headed there to see her.

Your POV

Gavi and I played video games together as that was he was doing before I arrived until someone knocked on his door so he got up to answer it. I didn't look over until I heard a familiar voice and I knew exactly who it was but I still turned around to check and of course it was Pedri. He looked at me before coming over and sitting next to me; he tried to put his arm around me but I moved away not wanting him to touch me until we talked things through. There was silence for a few minutes as we sat alone after Gavi left us to talk.

"I'm really sorry love" Pedri said breaking the silence

"Do you understand why I was even mad in the first place?" I asked

"I do and I'm really sorry I shouldn't leave you to clean everything and I should've appreciated everything you have done today on your day off" he said

"I'm just really used to living on my own and being able to leave things where I want that I didn't think about changing that when you moved in and I'm sorry from now on I promise I will try and be tidier and we will share out the chores so it's not just you doing them" he added

"Thank you babe I appreciate that I just wanted you to understand that I don't want to do everything only for it to be a mess the next day" I explained

"I understand that now as soon as you left I felt awful and I cleaned everything up and organised my things so I know where they all are so the place will be tidier from now on" he said

We made up and decided to move on from the argument and just both do better at communicating from now on. He went to pull me in and this time I allowed it so he hugged me tightly and gave me a few kisses before picking me up so we could go back home. I tried to tell him that I took my car but he just said that we would worry about it tomorrow so I gave up trying to tell him and just let him bring me home. We both said goodbye to Gavi before Pedri drove us home where Pedri made dinner and we watched my favourite show which usually Pedri hates for the rest of the evening. He also made an effort to keep things tidy throughout the evening which made me happy that he finally understood that the place isn't just his anymore.

#pedri gonzalez imagine #pedri imagines #pedri gonzalez imagines #pedri imagine

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dsireland86 · 10 months

Text

There is Beauty in the Pain: Chapter 4 Pt.2

"Cause your love is fire warm I'll be the calm babe, before the storm You got me fallin' in love, in this bad dream" -bad dream- Nerve

TAG LIST: @lma1986 @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @missduffsblog @bngurngheart @thatamazingvampirestory

Noah:

“She’s a wreck, Jolly. I don’t know how she’s managed a normal life with all the baggage she carries.” I was pacing the living room floor back and forth, hands on my hips, then to my hair, then to my jaw then back to my hips. “Dude, calm down before you become almost as wrecked as Sophie. She’s okay now; she’s safe. Relax.” Nicholas was right. I needed to relax. “I know, I know,” I agreed, flopping down on the couch next to him. Sighing, I ran my hands through my hair again and laid my head back. “You should see all the fucking bruising on her ribs and stomach. They stretch around her sides to her back.” I choked back sob, afraid to let the others know how affected I was by Sophie’s appearance, although I’m pretty sure they could already tell by the way I was acting. “Shit, that bad? He really fucked her up then,” Nick said, seeming to be seriously shocked. “Did you not think it was that bad?” I asked, my voice taut. “No, I knew it was that bad, I just, I don’t know, guessed it wasn’t that bad,” he confessed with a shrug as his brows drew together in concern. I turned my head away, laying it back down on the couch. “What a fucking mess,” I breathed, dragging my hands down my face. “It’ll be fine, Noah; Sophie will be fine. She’s got us now.” Glancing up at Jolly, I wished I could have his optimism, but I didn’t. My gut was telling me this was only going to get worse.

Sophie:

I was pulled from a deep sleep, awakened by the intense pain and pressure in my body. Even though I should've been used to it, I wasn’t. Healing sometimes hurt more than the actual abuse and it was those moments that always made me break down and close up into myself. But oddly enough, this time I didn’t feel the need to; I didn’t want to. Maybe it was because subconsciously I knew Noah was around and the idea somehow made things a little easier. But if there was anything I knew for sure from past experiences it was that laying around after being used as a human punching bag always made things worse. I needed to get up. Taking a deep breath, I used the muscles that were screaming at me not to to sit up and toss my legs over the side of the bed. I seethed in frustration, angry and disappointed with myself that all of this was a result of me not being strong enough to fight Perry off. I should have been. I should’ve been ready for him, no matter what.

The quick, sudden breaths I took burned as they penetrated my lungs and I wished that the arms that held me last time were holding me now. For some unknown reason to me, I desperately wanted Noah; I needed him. “I can do this,” I told myself, taking short breaths through my nose and lifting myself up. I cried out softly, pushing through the pain, and the longer I stood and straightened myself, the more the pain subsided and I felt better. I exhaled with a sigh, looking around for the door.

“Dude, you have no idea what it’s like being up in the back with barely any light. I can’t see shit,” Folio laughed. “Wasn’t that how you hurt your knuckle that one show?” “Yeah, I wacked it with the fucking stick so hard I thought maybe I broke it.” Laughter rose from down below as I walked out into the dark, empty hallway. I was hesitant to leave the room, unsure if I was ready for anything; I wasn’t, but I had to at least try. I peered over the side of the wall and looked down, recognizing the three faces: laughing, passing popcorn, and watching Anime. But there was one face I didn't see. Where was Noah? My head raced with all kinds of negative thoughts about him and why he wasn’t here, none of which I knew were true. But that was how my anxiety worked in my head most of the time. It took a situation, made up shit, and ran with it. The end result was always horrible. Breathing deeply through my nose, I sat down with my back against the wall, fixing my mind on things I knew were fact; my name, my age, my phone number, things like that. Then I thought about the color of my eyes and my hair, then somehow switching over to the color of Noah’s hair and eyes both brown; a warm sort of brown like smooth chocolate. How was it that he kept finding his way into my thoughts every time I needed him? I scowled, trying to think about something else, but failed. Noah was it, the perfect distraction away from my anxiety attack and I swear at one point I felt the feeling of his arms around me. “Wishful thinking” I told myself. Getting up off the floor, I made the quick decision to return to the room. I wasn’t ready for all of this yet. I needed more time.

"Sophie!" I jumped, startled by the calling out of my name, looking down to see Jolly peering up at me. Shit. Before I could process anything the sound of heavy footsteps on the stairs wrecked my plan as Jolly appeared, not even the slightest bit out of breath even though I was pretty sure he took the stairs two at a time.

"Sophie, hi," Jolly greeted, his smile wide and bright. It was hard not to smile back at the tall, handsome Swede. Jolly had one of the sweetest smiles I’d ever seen and it made me feel less anxious. “Hey, Jolly,” I replied, only glancing at him before dropping my gaze. I didn’t know how my appearance looked, but from past experience, I knew it wasn’t pretty. “You’re up and walking around. That’s a good thing,” he expressed with a slight grin. I could tell Jolly was trying to be encouraging, “I guess so,” I replied. “How are you? Besides all of this,” he said, waving his hands around between us. I shrugged, not really having an answer. “Honestly?” “Of course,” he replied sympathetically. The evidence of my sadness became visible as a few single tears rolled down my cheeks. “I’m scared, Jolly. I have no idea what to do right now. I don’t know if I should stay, if I’m even allowed to stay, or if I should go home, assuming Perry isn’t there anymore.” The words kept rolling off my tongue as the anxiety in my chest rose, making me feel like I was starting to spin out of control again.

“Okay, hey, hey, hey, listen to me, relax, Sweets, you’re okay,” Jolly asserted, pulling me into his arms carefully and stroking my hair. He pressed my head gently against his chest making me feel that safety and security I’d been longing for earlier, and even though he wasn’t Noah, he was a perfect substitute. I took some deep breaths while gripping the back of his shirt until I calmed down. “See, you’re okay,” Jolly repeated as he pulled away to look me in the eyes. I nodded, wiping my tears aways with the sleeves of Noah’s large hoodie I’d forgotten I was still wearing. “It’s a little big on you,” Jolly chuckled, eyeing the length of the hoodie that reached almost to my knees and the sleeves that protruded out way longer than my hands. I laughed, finally feeling calm and together. “I was cold.” “Sure you were, it’s okay. Noah won’t mind. You good?” I nodded, tucking some hair behind my ear."Come on," he urged, holding out his hand to me and nodding towards the stairs. I was reluctant at first, but decided to trust Jolly despite my feelings. He tucked me snuggly into his side, wrapping his arm around my waist to safely secure me close to his body and led me down the stairs."You still good?" he asked when we reached the bottom. I shot him a painful smile, clenching my teeth. “Yup.” "Liar," he chuckled.

Walking into the living room, lots of eyes turned and looked at us. I lowered mine so I didn't have to look at them, knowing I couldn't handle the scrutiny. Jolly led me to a long, white sofa where Nicholas was sitting, and I sat down next to him, feeling very self conscious and nervous. Usually the day after, I would lay in bed and avoid the world, and try to process everything that happened, but this time that wasn’t an option. I was quickly realizing with these guys, I didn’t have very many options; and that was a good thing.

“Hey beautiful,” Nick greeted, reaching over and placing his warm hand over mine. I shifted around, trying to get more comfortable while Jolly took the chair across from Nick. “Here,” Nick said, placing a pillow behind my back for support. “How’s that?” I sighed as I leaned back, feeling a hundred times better. “Better?” “Mmmhmm, much,” forcing a smile and sitting back with better ease. “You’re awake!” I looked up to see Folio coming out from the kitchen, holding another bowl of popcorn and wearing such a sweet smile that my heart skipped a beat. I returned the smile, quickly looking away out of self conscious fear. “Don’t worry, you’re still pretty,” he sweetly complimented, handing over the bowl still in his hands to Nick. Folio was a very easy going guy, never critical, never judging, just understanding and supportive. He reminded me of an oak tree; dependable, resilient, and strong. He took a seat next to me, our shoulders pressed together, and at first he just sat there with me with no interest at all in talking. Then he reached over and took my hand and placed it between his. They were slightly cooler than Nick’s and more calloused, but the feeling of mine tucked safely between them was indescribable. I raised my eyes to meet his eyes, seeing nothing but concern in them. “Be honest,” he advised, biting his lip then looking away. “How are you?” When he looked back, his mouth was taunt and I knew he was thinking of things that weren’t sitting well with him. I examined his face and all the little things about it that made him so irresistible, one of them being the small gold hoop that sat snuggly in the bottom left of his nose, and the other was how his unaligned teeth made his lips look so pouty and soft. I smiled and he noticed, cheeks turning slightly red. Sighing, I swallowed, trying to make my dry mouth moist, thinking of how to properly put my thoughts and feelings into the right words. I couldn’t though and since Folio asked for honesty, that’s what he was going to get. “Like shit,” I answered bluntly. Nick and Jolly both snickered and Folio grinned. “Honest enough?” I asked, raising my eyebrow. “Honest enough,” he repeated with his grin growing into a wide smile.

The sound of the front door closing disrupted our small reunion as Noah walked into the living room, wearing a pair of band merch joggers and a hoodie. He was sweaty, the moisture covering his forehead visible even from where I was sitting and out of breath. He had yet to look up and notice me, as he placed his earbuds back into their case, but man did I notice him. His tall presence loomed before me, looking like something that had just walked out of a wet dream. My core tightened just from the sight of him. With a lump in my throat, I brought my hand to my neck, quickly diverting my gaze away from him and began to nervously play with my skin. Even though my mind and body had been longing for Noah since our last encounter, I suddenly found myself uneasy. “Hey,” his voice called to me, soft yet low and deep. My eyes snapped up to him, finding his dark brown eyes intently fixed on me. There was a look of relief in them, yet I could see the tension. He looked worried. “Hey,” I answered. At first we just stared at one another, but then he walked over, offering his hands to me. He opened and closed them quickly, implying he wanted me to take them. Obliging him, he helped me up, steadying me before placing both long hands on my hips. “Why are you staring at me like that?” I asked, looking away. My cheeks felt like they were on fire. “I’m happy,” he stated, plainly. “Do you stare at every girl like that just because you’re happy?” I quickly glanced at him, seeing the grin on his face. “Just you.” It felt like there were a million butterflies in my stomach. “Nice hoodie by the way.” I looked down, completely forgetting again that I was still wearing it. I thought that maybe I'd overstepped a boundary and Noah was upset, but the smile on his face said otherwise. I couldn't hide the shy grin on my face, but I turned away just the same. Noah leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my forehead, before wrapping his arms around me and holding me close. I didn't hesitate to lay my head on his chest, inhaling the scent of his cologne, and slide my own arms around his waist, suddenly feeling a small sense of possessiveness which was utterly ridiculous. Noah was not nor would he ever be “mine”. But I couldn't overlook the fact of how easy it was for the two of us to share such intimate affections with each other either. “You should sit; take the pressure off your feet. Standing too much might cause more swelling.” I looked at him, puzzled. “And how do you know that?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. His coy smile made me feel so weak. “Doesn’t matter. Now sit.” He pointed to the spot next to Ruffilo. “I'm gonna get you some pain medicine and a glass of water. Are you hungry?” I shook my head, thanking Noah, before he walked off towards the kitchen.

I was at peace; completely relaxed despite the excruciating pain ravaging my body. Folio left his spot next to me, saying something about having to do his laundry to which Jolly asked if he would do his too. Folio grumbled and rolled his eyes, but in the end agreed. Nick, however, was still next to me, busy sketching flowers in the notebook on his lap. “Those are beautiful,” I commented on the simple, yet intricate detail on the vines and roses. Nick’s charming smile did something to me. The way his soft green eyes twinkled when he looked at me took the edge off my nerves. “I can give you one if you want.” “A flower?” He chuckled. “Well yes, but as a tattoo. Do you have any?” “Yeah I have a few.” Nick raised his eyebrows. “Really?” “What? Why is that so surprising?” He shook his head, turning back to his work on the paper. “You don’t look like a girl who would have tattoos, that’s all.” Jolly laughed as I scrunched up my face in confusion. “Holy shit, Nick, judge much,” he chided. “What! I’m just saying.” Nick dropped his pencil and looked at Jolly. “So rude,” Jolly teased, shaking his head. “She has three tattoos,” Noah’s deep voice startled me as he appeared from the kitchen, holding a glass of water and some crackers, and my pain medicine. “And you know this how, exactly?” I stared at Noah, puzzled that he would know such a detail about me that most didn’t; not even Alex. “Who do you think got you into those clothes,” he pointed out, handing me the stuff in his hands, his magnetic eyes trailing me up and down. I licked my lips, wincing when my tongue skimmed the swollen cut on my lip, trying my best to steady the nervousness rousing up inside me. Not only was Noah implying he saw me in only my underwear, but that also meant he saw all of the bruising on my body, and that didn’t sit well with me.

Taking the medicine and handing the glass back to Noah, I couldn’t bring myself to look at him again knowing what he saw. I was too embarrassed. “Anyway,” Nick chimed in, quickly changing the direction of the conversation. As I listened to him I risked a glance at Noah only to find that he wasn’t there anymore, and a part of me was glad. I wasn’t ready for that yet. I wasn’t ready for all of Noah’s sympathy and words concerning my bruises. They would fade in time and eventually be forgotten and when all was said and done, the trauma of it all would too. I knew this, but Noah didn’t and I had to consider that; for his sake. “Now that I know you like tattoos, I can do one if you want.” I smiled. “I would love that, Nick. One of those?” nodding to the paper in front of him. “Sure. The ivy would look sick on you.” The excitement in his voice was adorable. Discussing tattoos was obviously something Nick liked doing. “That’s what I was thinking of too.” We both chuckled and Nick went on drawing, but I couldn’t escape the uneasy feeling I had. Noah was upset. I saw it on his face and it hurt me that he was. But he would just have to learn that once something bad happened to me, I didn't like talking about it. What was done was done. Besides, none of it was his problem nor his burden to bear.

“Are you watching the next season or can I put something on?” Nicholas snatched the remote from Jolly quicker than lightning. “Don't even, bro,” Nick growled. “There's one more season left and we're watching it.” “Ughh, fuck Nick, come on man, no more Anime. You can watch it later. Let me pick something.” “Okay, fine, Sophie gets to pick.” I popped my head up from Folio's shoulder, who had finally come back from laundry duty, shaking it quickly. “Nope, I'm good. Honest. Let Jolly choose.” “See,” Jolly said hotly, grabbing the remote from Nick. As Jolly picked out something new to watch, Noah appeared freshly cleaned and looking more relaxed, holding a thick fluffy red blanket. His hair was still wet with pieces of it falling over his forehead and eyes and it made me squeeze my thighs together because of the unholy feeling he was giving me. “Here, I brought this for you,” he spoke softly, holding out the blanket, but I didn’t take it. Instead, for some stupid reason, I hung my head and to avoid letting Noah see the tears that had formed in my eyes. Nick got up and Noah sat down, gently laying the blanket around my shoulders. I shivered from its warmth that created a warm barrier between me and the cool air. Noah was still, our knees practically touching, and to say my body wasn't screaming internally would be a lie.

I took a deep breath, breathing in the intoxicating scent of him and slumped into the warmth and security of the blanket. The feeling of his hand slipping over my thigh caused me to stiffen. Noah retracted it, but I grabbed it quickly before he could take it away entirely. “It's not what you think,” I said softly as I drank in the beauty and handsomeness of his face. His full, pouty lips, the freckles over his nose, his dark almond shaped eyes, they all did something to me I'd never felt before and weakened all senses. His eyes searched mine, looking for answers that I believed he would never find, but those eyes saw right through my tough-girl act; they saw through my walls.

Tears threatened to fall again so I dropped my gaze, breaking the connection and retreating into myself. I didn't deserve to get close to anyone, let alone Noah. I was toxic. I was a mess, and I wasn't about to drag this perfect man down with me to the gates of hell and force him to battle shit he had no obligation to fight.

"He's never going to hurt you again, Sophie," Noah whispered in my hair.

I stiffened and tears that I’d been fighting finally flowed down my cheeks. “It makes my blood run cold when I think about what he's done to you; all the pain, all the hurt. It's not right.” Tears dripped from my chin. “I'd give anything to battle this fight for you.” I shook my head in confusion? “Why?” I asked a little louder than I meant to. “Why would you want to, Noah!?” I jumped up from the sofa, shrugging off the blanket. “I'm a fucked up mess, Noah. I'm nothing but a broken vessel, all used up, battle worn and tired.” By now the tears were falling faster than I meant for them to and my words were more hurtful and mean than intended. “You owe me nothing. None of you do. And I can't,” I paused for a moment and as the tears and crying caught up with me, I began to sob uncontrollably. The shit that had been pent up the last forty-eight hours was now coming out, as if the dam had broken. Folio got up and stood beside me and for a moment just stood there, but when I couldn't catch my breath, he took me into his arms and there I cried until my throat hurt. The reality of my life was all coming to a head and I couldn't or maybe just didn't want to, deal with it all anymore. I wanted out. I wanted to die. I screamed this into Folio's chest as he held me tightly. I gasped for air and when it didn't come, I began to panic. The anxiety attack came harder and faster than ever. I slipped from Folio's embrace and dropped to the floor hard, and there I sobbed completely and utterly confused about everything. “Shhhh… It’s okay. I've got you.” Noah's arms snaked around me and wrapped me up tight against him. His body covered mine, covering me like a shield. “I'll keep you safe, Sophie . I'll shelter you. No matter the cost.”

CHAPTER 4 PT.3

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