#although this part might not happen for a while

[cheshiresense]

Starrk time travels with Ichigo to TBTP is everything I never knew I needed! The pain of surviving again, of still being too strong to die- to give up and rest with Shunsui is chef’s kiss beautiful.

I have questions, ideas, thoughts- feel free to ignore any of them lol. First is do you think Hollows/Arrancars have pack instincts/pack bonds. I can imagine the horrible aching emptiness of reaching for friends and family who aren’t there anymore. Pack is forever, should be forever- but now they have to go on looking in the faces of people who loved them once and see nothing in their eyes. No pack bond or instincts that used to link them.

Second is do you think Starrk and Ichigo would eventually start napping together once they settle in a bit more? Starrk might be able to control it now, but I feel like there would be something reassuring about the fact that Ichigo could take it, wouldn’t buckle under the pressure. And then there’s the fact they’re the only ones who know, who understand the weight of it all.

Third is do you have an idea of who you’d ship Ichigo with in this au? I myself am partial to Koyonagi, but I can also see Shinji noticing something off and prowling around like the big cat he pretends he isn’t to investigate. I also imagine that not a few people would assume Starrk and Ichigo are in a relationship lol.

Lastly is I think it would be really interesting if Starrk and Ichigo ended up in the same division, especially since the draw to join the Eighth would be even more tempting. Do you think they’d stick together or try to spread out to be able to investigate/access more.

Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! And I haven't even gotten to the ShunStarrk parts yet but the prospect of it is incentive to write more lmao.

This got a bit long so I'll shove it under the cut:

1) I haven't thought much on this particular aspect of Hollows, although I do see it around a lot, it seems a pretty common headcanon. I def do think they have pack instincts, because even in canon you see Harribel and Grimmjow and others forming "packs" but idk if I'd go all the way to pack bonds. For me it would prob depend on where I want to take that particular fic. In this AU, I imagine Hollows do have pack instincts (again, that's basically canon) and Hollows in general are more sensitive to the reiatsu of pack members, but Starrk's gone so long without them that he's used to the pain of not having anyone. Plus he's like part wolf so I think that makes it worse, but after a thousand years he's probably numb to it. Then of course he got Shunsui for a while, and I imagine he kind of adopted the Fourth as his own and probably a few other Shinigami he'd grown close to, and now all of them are gone. He's in the same situation as Ichigo and grieving that loss, but it prob also feels physically worse for him. He knows what it's like to have pack now, and then he loses them all, and yeah he can sense Shunsui's reiatsu signature halfway across the Seireitei, and half the Fourth is a comfortable bubble at the edge of his awareness, but at the same time, they're not the same and his instincts can tell that too, so it's basically just a constant reminder of everything he no longer has. But he has a thousand years of experience at ignoring this sort of thing, and it's easy to fall back on it, he has to fall back on it because it's not like he can do anything about it anyway. His people, his pack, are gone, and like all the other things he was never able to change over the course of his long life, he can only resign himself to it and shoulder it as best he can.

But Shunsui in particular is a relentless ache in his chest, at the back of his mind, in the pulse of his very reiatsu, like pressure on a bruise on the days he can force himself to ignore it, like a gushing wound when he can't. It's still okay when he's at the Academy and doesn't actually have to see the man. Then Ichigo goes and picks up a stray who just so happens to be Shunsui's family, damn you too Mimihagi may you suffer from carpal tunnel for the rest of eternity, and because his luck has never been what anyone would call good, Starrk's practically expecting it the first time Ichigo awkwardly pesters him into joining their tutoring sessions behind the Eighth Division compound because Ichigo's excellent at Shunpou but he's never quite managed Yoruichi's flawless execution of it, and even before they'd become allies, Starrk's Sonido had been her equivalent, which had seamlessly translated over to Hohou once he'd gained the ability to learn it. Fujiwara's decent enough at it for an Academy student, but still far too slow for Ichigo's liking and also stupidly clumsy and Ichigo can't for the life of him figure out why, so can Starrk please come take a look and see if he can spot the problem or just tell him that there is no problem and all Academy students are just hopeless like this. Starrk wants to say no, but for all that Ichigo gets irritated with his own family for not being able to take no for an answer, the kid himself is actually no better than them, he's just a little more self-conscious about it, but the family resemblance is definitely there beyond just the appearance. Repeatedly refusing would take energy Starrk doesn't have, and he supposes it's nice too to see Ichigo starting to make friends again in this time period, starting to look past his grief. Starrk knows if he really puts his foot down, Ichigo will back off, but he doesn't want to set the kid back in case Ichigo gets the idea to also return to being a perpetual shut-in just because Starrk is, and if that means indulging Ichigo's whims, then so be it. He'd been sent back to serve as babysitter anyway so he may as well do the whole thing properly. And because his luck is just like that, the first time he goes, he finds that Ichigo has already somehow managed to lure his nosy Shiba cousin, his cousin's captain, and the Eighth Division captain Starrk's Shinigami but no he isn't not really not anymore never again to the training grounds even though it's the middle of the afternoon and they should all be at work. At least, judging by the disgruntled expression on Ichigo's face, this hadn't been Ichigo's idea of a good time either. Familiar grey eyes meet his from across the clearing, and for a moment, Starrk is certain someone's ripped his heart out again, leaving only an empty gaping hole in its wake once more, but a thousand times worse than it had ever felt when he'd still been just a Hollow and had never known anything else.

-

2) Honestly Ichigo already spends like 70% of his time in Starrk's room, his own is there just to gather dust and like fake out Kaien cuz the guy either hasn't thought to or at least still has enough manners to refrain from invading Starrk's room too (for now). So like two weeks into the Academy and Ichigo spending five days out of seven crashing on Starrk's floor, Starrk just gives up and goes out to buy an extra futon (and even more pillows because he's a pillow fiend and you can never have too many in his opinion) and Ichigo basically moves in after that. It's definitely comforting for both of them to have the other close by, especially Ichigo because his reikaku abilities are still hit or miss some days. Starrk can relax because his control hasn't been anything less than perfect since his Aizen days but occasionally he still worries about slipping up, except Ichigo is one of the few who can bear the brunt of it so it wouldn't matter even if he does. And Ichigo can relax because he's never really been one for subterfuge, it's actually killing him a little that he can't just bust out his Bankai and either beat Aizen to death or beat some sense into him over the skies of Soul Society like the good old days, but there's nothing he has to hide from Starrk, and Starrk's one of the ones - the only one left now - who's seen Ichigo at his very worst, and likewise it would take a lot of conscious effort on his part to actually hurt Starrk. Lashing out in the midst of a nightmare would wake Starrk but otherwise wouldn't even make him blink.

They can lower their guard around each other in a way they can't anywhere else outside of their room, and with Starrk's habit of carpeting most of the floor with soft things to sleep on, it's only natural to go to sleep next to each other and wake up - in the middle of the night or in the early morning when dawn hasn't even broken yet because it's easier to stare at the ceiling than spend another minute dreaming of faces they'll never truly see again - the same way. Neither of them really moves much when unconscious, and their instincts mark each other as safe, so these days, they sleep best in each other's company.

(This aches too though, sometimes, even though Starrk won't ever voice such a thing out loud. But sleeping with someone else beside him, even when they don't touch beyond an accidental brush of shoulders or a nightmare-fueled flail of a limb digging into his gut, reminds him of another warm body he'd spent close to a decade sleeping beside, half-draped over him or plastered against his back or letting him curl around them in return. It's another thing he'll never have again, but that's hardly Ichigo's fault, and he knows the kid doesn't do well alone either - who in this world does? - so Starrk's hardly going to say anything that would definitely chase Ichigo away because the kid's stupid like that. He locks the sense-memories behind his teeth instead, even when it keeps him up all night or wakes him in the morning just to make him feel like shit all over again when he remembers where and when he is. And it's not always bad. In this era, Ichigo is the only truly familiar thing that doesn't make Starrk's instincts bristle, which means he can sleep more deeply than he would allow himself anywhere else, and that's a comfort in and of itself.)

-

3) This I actually don't know, even in SP I don't really have a ship for Ichigo. But ship candidates are a dime a dozen for him lol. Kisuke's always my go-to for him but I guess he hasn't really been that prominent, although I can def steer things that way. I've written a few KoyoIchi so that's def also a possibility. Shinji is equally likely, and if they could give past!Aizen future!Aizen's memories, I could even pull off AiIchi, although if they could do that, I'd just do the same with Shunsui and then we would have less angst lmao. And it might be weird but I'm not opposed to Ichigo/Asuka but in a platonic neither of us are interested in other ppl and don't want to be bothered by marriage offers so let's just get engaged and it'll even be good for clan politics close friends sort of way. They might develop feelings for each other sometime down the road, but arranged marriage AU would be how it would start (this is actually a wip idea I've had for a long time that I've just never written). Also I just feel like Starrk would be vaguely amused by how they both got attached to Kyourakus (or Kyouraku-adjacent I guess), like what is it about that family 😂 But yeah nothing really concrete yet. Ppl might assume that Starrk and Ichigo are a thing because Ichigo doesn't hang out with anyone else at first, and Starrk basically only leaves school grounds to accompany Ichigo somewhere, but I imagine that would clear up after like thirty minutes of watching them interact, esp once Rangiku and Asuka and Gin are more permanent fixtures in their group and Starrk's just trailing after them like a long-suffering dad, the generational gap would be pretty obvious.

-

4) Oh man I've definitely thought about this. So unlike SP where Ichigo's like It Is My Duty To Go To The Fifth Just To Keep An Eye On Aizen's Shenanigans Even If That Means Self-Inflicted Emotional Torture The Entire Time, Starrk puts a stop to that nonsense in this AU. He doesn't actually care where Ichigo wants to go, Ichigo can take care of himself even if Aizen breaks cover and goes all traitor on them a hundred years early, and he's not here to tell the kid what to do anyway, but when Ichigo's waffling between the Eighth or the Fifth, and it becomes pretty fucking clear that he only wants to go to the Fifth because he thinks he has to, because there's no other way to keep track of Aizen, and he starts getting tunnel vision the way he does when he's brooding and obsessing over protecting people, that's when Starrk steps in.

"It's one thing if you want to go because you want to," Starrk says, watching the kid pace their room like a caged tiger. "But I don't think you do, not with the way you behave around Hirako. Besides, are you even going to be able to get anything done when you'll be constantly stressed out by being so close to Aizen?" He pauses, then adds with a ghost of a smile, "And then there's the fact that you're a really bad liar."

Ichigo swings around to splutter indignantly at him. "I am not! I can lie!"

Starrk shrugs. "Good enough to fool Hirako and Aizen when they'll be right there observing you up close every single day?"

Ichigo opens his mouth, then closes it again. Good, at least he's self-aware.

Starrk lets him think it over for a moment, tracking the conflicted shift of emotions across Ichigo's face - and he wants to play spy in front of the likes of Aizen like this? - before continuing quietly, "This is it, you know."

Ichigo blinks at him, thrown by the non-sequitur.

Starrk sighs and leans back against the windowsill at his back, slanting his gaze to the sky outside, winter-pale but clear. "What we're doing--it isn't a job with an end date. We don't get to go back home once we're done. There's no home to go back to."

In his peripheral, Ichigo is suddenly very still.

"This is it," Starrk repeats without taking his eyes off the distant horizon. "And you gain nothing from focusing all your energy on one man who won't even be showing his hand anytime soon. If anything, finding out you're suspicious of him will only move up his timeline or cause him to do something drastic, and then we might not be able to predict him at all. And that's not even getting into what the Quincy might do if you show your hand too soon, with or without their king. But even that's beside the point."

He turns back to Ichigo, taking in the weary grief in the furrow of his brow and the bitter curve of his mouth, and he knows Ichigo already understands. Still, he finishes as gently as he knows how, "This is where we live now, and maybe it isn't home yet, but maybe it's time to start thinking about what it will take to make it one. How do you want to live, Ichigo? Once everything is over, what kind of life will you have built for yourself by then? Or will you let Aizen dictate that too?"

A minute flinch ripples across Ichigo's shoulders. Starrk presses on, as ruthless as he'd learned from Aizen, from Shunsui even more. "Will you let him hound you all the way to your final grave? Or will you let Yhwach do it again? Your mother died to save you. Your friends died protecting you. Is their love for you only worth yet another suicide run at a bunch of madmen and would-be-gods? Do you think that this was all you were worth to them?"

Ichigo flinches again, and for a split second, his expression scrunches like he wants to take a swing at Starrk.

Starrk waits him out, because Ichigo isn't an idiot, but sometimes, it's like he just can't understand certain things without them being spelled out for him. And some things, Starrk thinks, should be heard, should be said.

He wonders if anyone's ever told this kid that he's allowed to live for himself too.

(He also wonders how much of a hypocrite every word coming out of his mouth right now is going to make him in the future.

But it's different, with Ichigo. Starrk is over a thousand years old. At this point, going to his grave isn't a big deal. But Ichigo hasn't even reached three decades, and he's spent a solid ten of those years on one battlefield or another. If one of them has to die at the end of all this, it definitely shouldn't be Ichigo.

This kid needs to learn how to live. There's no time like the present to start, and if that means Starrk has to hit where it hurts, well, infections must be lanced sooner or later.)

At last, Ichigo's shoulders slump, and he deflates like a balloon, anger and hurt deserting him, leaving only exhaustion in their wake.

"Sometimes, you sound so much like Kyouraku-san it's scary," Ichigo informs him, flopping bonelessly onto a nearby pile of pillows.

Starrk says nothing. If that had been meant to hurt, well, he probably deserves it.

"Aizen does need to be watched," Ichigo persists, but he sounds almost relieved at the possibility that he won't have to be the one to do it.

Starrk grunts dismissively. "I can sense him from here. I know when he's in his office, and when he leaves a double and takes off for Rukongai. I think that's enough for now."

Ichigo's eyebrows shoot up in surprise. "His hypnosis isn't affecting you?"

Starrk tips a glance at him. "The soul remembers. It doesn't affect you either, does it?"

"That's true," Ichigo concedes. "But wait, did he never show you his Shikai? Or you touched his blade somehow?"

"My reiatsu ate it," Starrk summarizes succinctly, then clarifies with a flicker of exasperation at the wide-eyed look he gets, "His hypnosis, not his blade. He never put much effort into hypnotizing the Espada, just enough to make sure we'd obey without too much fuss. And when it comes down to it, even Zanpakutou abilities is just reiatsu cast in a specific shape. It was easy enough to get rid of it after I was whole again."

He thinks of Lilynette and breathes through that particular ache, old now, more scar than open wound, but there all the same.

Ichigo makes a comprehending sound. "That's pretty handy. Can your reiatsu eat it if it's cast on someone else?"

Starrk nods. He'd done as much for Shunsui, and a few others as necessary. Aizen had never been able to affect the Captain-Commander again after he'd been let out of Muken. And for all that they'd been nominally on the same side, Aizen had actually tried a few times. Starrk thinks he'd probably just wanted to see if he could, because after each attempt, he'd turn and look at Starrk with something like amusement and something like contempt.

(Once, he'd remarked in private that Starrk certainly had a preference for kneeling at the feet of Shinigami masters, and he'd asked what made Shunsui the better one to serve, if perhaps he also should've forced Starrk to spread his legs for him, if that would've succeeded in breaking Starrk further, in making him even more eager to please, as much as Shunsui had clearly accomplished with him.

Shunsui had overheard. On hindsight, Starrk's fairly certain Aizen had wanted him to, had waited for him to get close enough to hear everything, though for what purpose even Starrk hadn't been able to figure out, because the resulting confrontation hadn't been pretty. It'd been one of the few times Starrk had seen his Shinigami lose his temper, his wrath a silent deadly creature no one would expect, and in that moment, the shadows around them had almost devoured Aizen whole. They'd certainly left their mark in the aftermath, Aizen's flesh cracked open with scars as black as the void. Even then, Starrk doesn't think Aizen had truly been intimidated, but he'd also never said another word of the sort to Starrk ever again.)

"I'd have to get closer to detect his more intricate workings," Starrk admits. "But I think between that and being able to sense him, it's enough of a safeguard without needing to join the Fifth as well. There isn't much of a point to that anyway. It's not like we don't already have a general idea of what he's doing, or where he's doing it. He isn't the sort to leave evidence lying around either so I doubt you'd be able to gather any."

He glances at Ichigo again, finally letting himself relax when he sees the kid nodding along, albeit with a rather grumpy expression.

"For now," Starrk concludes. "It's best to establish our presence here in this time, make connections, make allies, and eventually make sure we have enough people on our side to tip the scales in our favour. Aizen is one thing, but even the two of us can't take down the entire Wandenreich on our own. When the time comes, there must be people willing to believe us even without concrete proof of the Quincy's existence."

He catches Ichigo's eye, intent to get this point across, if nothing else. "No matter how powerful, there is only so much one can do alone. And you are not alone, Ichigo."

Ichigo's face crumples a little, and for a half a heartbeat, Starrk is terrified he's about to cry. Thankfully, that doesn't happen, and a moment later, Ichigo nods, his eyes a little brighter now, his shoulders a little less weighed down.

"Okay," Ichigo says decisively. "Then… I think I want to go to the Eighth." He smiles a bit wryly. "You're both bastards, but somehow, I like that about you guys. And if it's Kyouraku-san, it wouldn't be hard to work under his command."

He stops and grows more solemn, his gaze a little too sympathetic this time. "Will you join the Eighth too?"

"No," Starrk doesn't hesitate. He's already thought about it, had already made up his mind months ago, even before he'd met Shunsui again. His answer had only cemented further after meeting him. Besides, "I'm going to the Fourth."

He thinks of the agreement he'd hashed out with Mimihagi. He thinks of one of the things that had immediately come to mind when time travel of all things had been proposed to him. He thinks of the things he can do, the things he can create.

He thinks of the life he'd bargained for.

"Back in our time," Starrk only says in the end, meeting Ichigo's gaze calmly. "I was told by everyone who knew her that Unohana-taichou was the best healer in living memory. Now she is alive again, so that's what I want. I want to learn from her."

Ichigo snickers, oblivious. "Well, you are a huge medical nerd so I should've known. So long as you're happy I guess. Try not to take over the division again within the year. I wouldn't bet on your odds against Unohana-san."

Starrk rolls his eyes because honestly Kotetsu had practically gift-wrapped her division for him, he hadn't meant to take over, he hadn't even been a halfway respectable healer at the time, he'd just been strong, with the manpower to support the actual healers, and apparently, that'd been enough. He'd been horrified when Shunsui had sided with them.

Ichigo laughs outright, Starrk shakes his head, and with their choices made, the future begins to take shape once more.

[beevean]

I understand the miscommunication now. However, there is a difference between saying "I never played the 2000s games that gave closure to ShTH, and I like how SXSG handled things" and

I think what I appreciate most about Shadow Generations is just that it gives Shadow ACTUAL, CANON closure for his struggle between good and evil.

If you missed out on the games, fair enough, it happens. Personally, I played Heroes and ShTH some years before Adventure 2, and it shaped my perception of Shadow. But if you put it in an objective way, as in, "Shadow never got proper closure before", then I would say "no, he did, multiple times, here's proof - you may not like the writing, but it still happened".

I didn't even talk about '06 itself because I am not going to think about its place in the canon timeline lol. But in a meta sense, it counts for my point: we players experienced Shadow's story and how it precisely exists to show us "look, he has moved on, he can no longer be swayed or manipulated, he knows who he is and what he's fighting for". Sure, the events with Mephiles didn't happen or he forgot, but that game still counted as closure to us after playing ShTH.

I really like that Shadow Gens doesn't emphasize his promise to Maria - he's not doing this out of obligation, but because he chooses to.

It's true that Shadow doesn't talk about his old promise, it's good and shows that he has grown. To be fair, though, another reason for this could be that the story is much more focused on Shadow's biology and ties to Black Doom than his relationship with the world (plus, it wouldn't make sense for him to tell Maria he had promised her to make people happy when she hasn't died yet lol). And, this is an issue I have with the part where Shadow briefly contemplates to stop Rouge and use Chaos Control to freeze Maria and Gerald in White Space: the fact that he has to be told to let them go is still, conceptually, Shadow needing Maria as moral guidance.

As for the mandate bit, I'm aware Boom isn't canon and Forces shows Shadow cares about his team (shout out to their banter in Team Sonic Racing for backing it up as well); I was more referring to the general 2010's vibe. Once you get past 2010, Shadow appears in Generations, where he just wants to "finish" Sonic… And then nothing until Forces, with everything extracurricular from Boom and IDW (while not being strictly canon) pointing to Sega and the writers… not treating his character well.

I disagree. I don't think it makes sense to talk about "general vibe", when the list of Shadow's appearances in the 2010s is so small they can be dissected one by one. Once you remove Boom, which again doesn't count at all as Boom Shadow is a different character from main Shadow (or you might as well argue that the 2010s as a whole turned Knuckles into an illiterate Kronk-like idiot or Eggman into a softie who is frenemies with Sonic), his portrayals in the games are generally decent, with perhaps the one exception of Free Riders where everyone was a dick for no reason lol. Speaking of Gens, sure Shadow challenges Sonic out of nowhere, but then he cheers for him to defeat the Eggmen and then even sticks around for his birthday, so he's not just "the Vegeta" as he has been described since then.

We can argue that Shadow was used very sparingly in the 2010s, which is true. The 2010s were a response to the backlash of the 2000s, and one of the complaints was precisely that Shadow stole the spotlight, along with all the "shitty friends", so they all took several seats back. The reason I insisted that Boom and IDW don't count is that they aren't canon, they shouldn't be used as proof to talk about the character, and they aren't proof of how SEGA sees the character - although they certainly didn't have an iron grip on the external writers except for some basic guidelines, and maybe they should have. I think we are still feeling the consequences of the series stumbling 10 years ago (that 2013-2017 gap was painful), and the fandom growing sour because of it.

I don't think SXSG is a bad game. I have a couple of complaints with Shadow's writing, but they mostly stem with how the story uses him, other than that I can see they tried to make him sound like he did in '06 and he works. My issue is wider: I would like these characters to move on and stop clinging onto games that are by now older than the average fan. We had Frontiers which mostly retreaded character arcs that we have seen in Sonic Adventure, way back in 1998; and now we got SXSG, which was a long, long way to tell us "hey remember ShTH? Now Shadow is tired of BD's shit. Here's a reminder of that game's twist regarding Shadow's biology, but he doesn't care. Also he still misses Maria." So I'm here like... the older games are there. Shadow's multi-game arc is there. Couldn't you have just re-released them? Couldn't you have announced a sale for SA2 on Steam? Or ported Heroes and ShTH, which would have been appreciated by a good chunk of the fandom? SXSG may be fun to play and a testament of ST learning lessons on level design and gameplay style, but the game itself was not the point of the experience, right? It's for newcomers attracted by the incoming movie to get an idea of who Shadow is. I understand and respect that I am not the target audience here. But that doesn't mean the older games are suddenly invalid or should be forgotten.

i guess tl;dr please port shth and battle and then let's write new scenarios for the cast

(Spoilers for Shadow Generations)

I think what I appreciate most about Shadow Generations is just that it gives Shadow ACTUAL, CANON closure for his struggle between good and evil.

By the end of Adventure 2, he remembered his promise to Maria and made his choice to save the world, but then he "dies".

When Heroes revives him, he doesn't remember any of that.

His namesake game (and I say this as gently as possible), as cool as the multiple endings were, feels so unsatisfying. We get to see Shadow's potential for good and evil, sure, but then the true canon ending comes, and it doesn't specify what he did (or even what exactly he remembered about his past) to get there, and then he just decides not to let his past control him. Which isn't a terrible direction on paper, but the symbolism of him literally throwing away a picture of his family just seems... Like the opposite of what made this character appealing in the first place?

And from there, the games kept giving mixed signals. Sonic '06 shows how deeply he and Team Dark come to care for each other, but then its events get literally removed from the timeline. Sega begins to pretend that Team Dark aren't even friends in their mandates for a while (despite the fact they clearly care for each others' wellbeing before anybody else's). Shadow becomes practically a popsicle stick puppet for "angry, serious, violent rival", and they never feel a need to explain his motivations or reactions beyond waving at that four word character description again.

Shadow's appeal (at least to me) was never that he was a character who didn't care about anything - it was that he cared very deeply, actually. (Someone who nearly lets the world be destroyed as revenge for losing his family is the exact opposite of someone who doesn't care!) He may not be cheerful, he may be quiet and stern, he may have a temper and be capable of terrible things if he isn't careful, but he isn't heartless.

And Shadow Generations FINALLY got it right, I feel.

There's now no doubt that he remembers his past, and that it did matter to him. It still does, in fact, and we're dropping the idea that he'll move on from it like it never happened. That's not how tragedy works.

But he will be able to move forward.

He has finally, WITHOUT GETTING AMNESIA, IN THE CANON TIMELINE, gotten to become the hero Maria wanted him to be.

That doesn't mean his story's over: I'm sure they can still find adventures to send him on. And that doesn't mean he needs any kind of complete personality overhaul, either. He can still be more aggressive than Team Sonic, and more stern, and maybe even more willing to resort to questionable methods to fight next week's bad guy.

But all of Team Dark has gotten to acknowledge that they do, in fact, care for each other, even if their attitudes aren't as chummy as Team Sonic.

Shadow has gotten to hear from his family that they are proud of him, weird alien DNA and all, and that even though he will have to go the rest of his long life without them, their love will always go with him, and give him the strength he needs to overcome any of his darker parts.

Shadow having a darker edge than Sonic and Shadow being a hero are things that can and SHOULD coexist, and I'm so glad we finally got to see it for him without it getting wiped from canon or his own memories again.

[thefallenangel2008]

I came up with new stuff about my take on the Relativity Falls AU! Ok, so, I talked about it here (and here are some design choices in case y'all are interested). Although these are with Bill like he is in cannon because I hadn't come up with that idea yet but these were mostly concept plans for this AU, SO IT'S OK.

ANYWAY, so, at first I thought about leaving Bill kinda the same, but at school I was blessed with enlightenment by the gods of hyperfixation and I realized. I COULD SWAP HIM WITH CANDY. AND HERE'S WHY.

Okay, so, I think you remember that in the show there was an episode in season 2 where Stan took the twins plus Candy and Grenda on a road trip and Candy had a crush on Dipper which was one-sided on her part. And it reminded me of how in Billford the feelings are one-sided on Bill's side after the betrayal (whether those feelings are romantic or pet-owner thing is unclear, but yeah). So I thought to myself "What if Candy saw Dipper, was fascinated by him and his nerdiness and also figured he could help her with her plans for Weirdmageddon (of whichever the motives I'm still trying to think)?" And then Candy would actually fall in love with Dipper while Dipper stayed the same. He would of course be fascinated by her but he wouldn't have developed any romantic feelings towards her. Just admiration.

I feel like she would also like pain like Bill but because humans feel pain differently than her kind does, it would be mostly because of interest and for experiments. She would be mad at Dipper after the portal incident and him giving up but would try not to show it (much), so when Dipper would fall asleep she would possess his body and work on repairing the portal (and maybe slap his face and stab a few objects on his arms for leaving her after he found out her plans) until Dipper got that metal plate inserted.

Also Candy would be a circle. I came up with that thing mostly so that Mabel can joke about knowing that her brother liked curves, lol. Btw Dipcifica is happening because I swapped Pacifica and Fiddleford together (and in this after the Northwest family kicked Pacifica out they left Gravity Falls out of shame that one of them lost her mind, and the mansion was empty until the Mcgucket family, a rich, country family moved in. I might change that bit, idk).

Also, since I swapped Candy and Bill, I thought about Bill and Stan being friends, but their canon rivalry is just too funny to pass up so maybe whoever swaps with Grenda (maybe Pyronica? I low-key like that. If I keep that idea her name will change to Veronica or Pyronica is gonna be a nickname cause she would like arson) will be trying to make them boys get along, and the only reason Bill wouldn't leave would be because that person is his only friend. One reason why Stan would hate Bill (other than him being a spoiled little brat) is because he likes his brother and Stan KNOWS he's gonna be a bad boyfriend for Ford. Also Bill and Fidds would have some beef (Robbie and Dipper kinda vibes) because they would be both crushing on Ford while Ford would remain completely oblivious and be head over heels for Manly Dan (who is swapped with Wendy).

But Ford would be fascinated by Bill because he would know how to do magic tricks. Bill in this is VERY Helga Pataki codded because his parents would be mostly focused on his successful, normal, with-no-eye-deformities older brother Steve (yes, I came up with it rn while writing it, and yes, I'm putting Pyramid Steve there CAUSE I CAN) and because he would hide his true feelings for Ford (everyone knows but Ford). Bill wouldn't outright bully Ford, but sometimes Ford would wonder if Bill likes him or pretends to because he's "friends" with Stan due to the jokes he makes.

Bill would come from a kinda wealthy family and his parents would give him everything he wanted (except their attention) which is why Stan calls him spoiled. Bill here also has a false schizophrenia diagnosis because when he was little he would say he saw some weird stuff (they're real cause, yk, it's Gravity Falls) and he takes a bunch of medicine, both for schizophrenia and anophthalmia (which is a rare condition where you're born with only one eye. Bill hides his missing eye behind his hair). The medicines make him feel drowsy, and like he's not really there, but he's good at masking it behind a wide smile and a cocky personality.

At some point Bill will come to the conclusion that he doesn't deserve Ford because he can be so kind, and sweet, and understanding (everything that he's not) so he would (begrudgingly) let Fidds have Ford and step out of the unofficial "contest".

One last thing, I'm swapping Soos with Durland and Melody with Blubs.

[sweatyracoon]

Hey:) can you please do a part 2 of Tell me and make it smut

A/n: This is part two to a story I made a while ago, but can be read separately. Enjoy! Thanks anon for the ask! Feel free to suggest more.

Warnings: smut, obviously. Vampire Felix, biting, blood?, pinv, unprotected sex, dom felix, pet names, let me know if I missed anything

It had been nearly a month since you and Felix had the heart to heart, and things seemed to be going smoothly.

His features matured in ways you would have never thought.

He switched back to his natural blonde about a week ago, and you almost felt relief.

Although you didn't mind the black, you had noticed that it affected you in ways you shouldn't be by your best friend.

He was hot.

The black made him look mysterious and sexy. It nearly killed you to look at him, much less be near him.

Today was one of your mandatory hang nights, more specifically, a movie night.

You had found out that he no longer had the same needs as normal people. He doesn't sleep, but can force himself to for a short period of time.

He doesn't eat like he used to. He found that yes, he needs blood, but not often. And when he eats, he takes a few bites before feeling full. He can walk in the light, but it makes him a bit weak, like muscle aches.

It had been surprisingly easy to accommodate these new discoveries. And he had been so grateful to you for being so accepting.

He was sitting on the couch, his blonde hair peaking from above the head rest. You smiled as you walked around to join him, a bowl of popcorn in your hand.

"Ready?"

He grinned at you, his eyes shimmering from the blue light.

"Yep!" He barked, snuggling against you after you got comfortable.

You pressed play, watching the beginning with interest.

The movie was barely forty minutes in when you felt Felix tense against you. He felt colder than normal all of sudden, even under the blankets.

"Felix?" You turned to look at him, seeing that he was avoiding your gaze.

"Lix, what's wrong?" You went to reach for him, but he flinched, making you stop.

"Don't." His voice was deeper than usual, rough around the edges.

It almost sounded like a threat.

"Felix what's wrong? Remember, you promised you wouldn't shut me out," you whispered, unsure of what was wrong all of the sudden.

He sighed before drooping his shoulders, still not looking at you.

"I lied the other day. I-" His voice cracked. "I wasn't able to feed on Thursday."

Your eyes widened, your blood running cold. Wasn't that needed for him to stay sane or something? You weren't entirely sure what would happen if he didn't feed, and he wasn't either.

It was still entirely new.

"So what's wrong now? Are you hungry?" You asked, turning your whole body to him. He had your full attention, even if the movie was still playing.

"Yes, but that's not all," he gulped, looking at you finally.

You gasped, seeing the bright red hue in his eyes. They almost seemed to be pulsing, as if they glowed in the dark.

"I felt the blood going through your arm...when I was laying on you. It was weird." He frowned, wanting to look back to the tv.

Suddenly an idea popped in your head, thinking you might be able to help the poor guy out.

"Have you fed from a human?" You asked.

His eyes blew up. "Uh...Kinda? Bang Chan, he's like me, and he let me bite him. But other than that, just animals," He cleared his throat, his eyes getting brighter by the second.

"Do you want to feed from me? Do you know when to stop?" You tilt your head, watching him freeze like a deer caught in headlights.

"What? No! I don't want to hurt you,"

You blinked. You didn't think about that.

"It hurts?" You couldn't stop the words from leaving you. You cringed.

"Well, Chan said it felt really good when he bite people, but it doesn't have the same effect on him."

"Bite me then," you giggle, shoving your wrist to his face, making him recoil.

"I've never fed from a person. I can go out real quick so we can still have movie night-" he was stuttering at this point and you just wanted him to stop and breathe.

As you listened to him, you brought your nail you where your shoulder and neck meet, scratching just hard enough to break the skin.

Even though it didn't breach your skin yet, the sudden smell of the iron liquid reached Felix's nostrils, igniting something within him he didn't even know was there. His eyes darkened, and before he could stop himself, he was on you in seconds.

You let out a yelp of surprise, now on your back with Felix straddling your hips, locking you in place.

His face was buried in the crook of your neck, and you heard him breathe in deeply, wanting to burn your scent in his memory.

You heard his jaw clenching beside your chin, and you took a deep breath.

"It's okay, Felix. I want it," you breathed. You didn't know entirely what it is you wanted, but he got the idea, latching his teeth into your pulse point.

It hurt at first, the pierce through the skin, his sharp teeth cutting through the many layers of skin. But once he got deep enough, it turned into a cooling heat that then turned into a flame, one that burned hotter with each passing moment.

The shock ignited the pooling arousal in your abdomen, and you let out a moan into his ear.

He growled as he knawed at your neck, squirming above you. You could feel his hardening cock through his sweats, your mind reeling at the thought of him inside you.

He groaned, finally pulling away from your neck to look at you.

His eyes had gone back to their natural color, and his face was flushed. His breathing was heavy, and his lips stained red with your blood.

He looked like an angel.

"You okay?" He asked softly, bringing a hand to rest on your face.

You nodded, unable to speak all of the sudden.

Your gaze blurred, your mind fuzzy.

He seemed to have caught on, hearing the small whimpers emitting from your throat.

"Whats the matter, honey? Can't talk? Did it feel that good?" He cooed at you with a grin, rubbing circles on your cheek.

You sniffled, nodding in response, nuzzling into his touch.

"Can I, y/n? Can I touch you?" He whispered, staring into your eyes deeply.

His free hand rested on your waistband, gently messing with a stray thread.

"Please, lixie," you mutter, suddenly hotter.

You lifted your hip gently, the skin of your torso meeting his cold fingers. You sighed at the contact, tilting your head back slightly.

He watched in awe as he pushed his fingers under your clothing, his index and middle finger playing with your folds before flicking your clit. You groaned, your arms coming to grasp at any part of him that you can. Your left hand found purchase on his forearm, your grip tight. The other fisted the fabric of the couch, scratching roughly on your skin.

“More, lix. Please…” you breathed, loving the way he touched you.

He said nothing, but showed that he heard you by shoving two fingers deep within your sopping cunt, pushing at a fast pace. Though his hands looked small, they seemed to be finding your g-spot immediately, grinning as he abused that sacred spot,watching as you let out louder moans. He forced himself down to catch your lips in his, sucking the air out of you as he continued to finger you, curling his fingers every other thrust. He brought his other hand to rub roughly at your clothed nipples, feeling them harden under the fabric.

“Want me to fuck you, y/n? Just tell me the word and I’ll take care of you, love. Let me take care of you,” he all but begged, sounding fucked out before even undressing.

He loved the way you clenched around his fingers, pulling him in, not wanting him to leave. If Felix had it his way, he’d never let his fingers leave from you. And if you wanted it to be his cock instead, who was he to deny you?

“Yes! Please Felix!” You moaned, your stomach doing somersaults as it begged for release. You whined as h pulled his fingers from you rather quickly, and watched as he fumbled with his sweats. He rushed to pull them off, nearly falling from the couch in the process, making you giggle at him. It quickly died down once you saw him.

He sprung out of his pants, a loud thud emitting rom where his cock hit his stomach. You nearly let yourself drool at the sight of him.

No other guy has made you feel this way about his cock, but boy was Felix beautiful. What he lacked in length, he made up for in girth, almost looking like the stretch would be painful. But you’d take it. You needed it. Almost as much as he wanted it.

He grabbed the bottom of his shirt, bringing it up to bite, showing of his abs. You moaned just from the sight of them.

“You sure you want this? We can stop…” he mumbled with the tee between his teeth. His eyes shimmered in the dim lighting, looking as if he held stars in his eyes.

“Yes I’m sure, lix. I just have one question…” you smiled at him. “Could you…bite me again?”

His eyes widened at first, but he felt himself twitching at the thought. Your blood was certainly way better than that of an animal. Yours was more fresh and almost electric with the way your adrenaline spiked. It was almost like his own alcohol just walking around in the apartment. He was head over heels for your taste, plus his long term crush on you.

He relaxed before placing himself at your entrance.

“Of course, baby,” he pushed in slowly, watching your back arch off the sofa.

He quickly came down to latch onto your neck, sucking, hoping to ease the pain with the pleasure of the bite.

It seemed to calm you down, because shortly after that, with each draw he took from you, your moans became louder. He started to move, cursing himself suddenly. Drinking from you was enough to make him finish, but he didn’t want to finish before you. He pulled his mouth back, looking you in the eyes as he picked up the pace.

Once again, his lips were stained with your blood, the amount a lot more than previously, making droplets form, and threatened to fall with each thrust. He hit deeper, pushing harder against you causing slapping sounds to echo the room. You both grunted with one another as each of you closed in on your high.

You felt the knot forming in the pit of your stomach, watching as his eyes fluttered shut as he rammed into you as if he never would have sex again. He wanted to make it last. He found that he was struggling just to not cum from staring at you. He loved how helpless you looked right now.

You finally felt the knot snap, your high washing over you like a ton of bricks. You shivered as he continued, your walls clenching around him desperately, wanting to absorb his delicious cum.

One droplet of blood finally parted from his lips, landing onto your own. He watched as you stuck your tongue out to taste yourself, moaning at the flavor. The sight of you tasting your blood finally made him snap. His cum shot out in spurts inside you, riding out his high until he was shaking from overstimulation. He collapsed onto you for a few seconds before pulling out, making you whine. He grinned, pulling his shirt of all the way.

“One second,” he muttered, cleaning you both before pulling the blanket over you both once more. “How are you feeling? Did I take too much?” He nuzzled into you, trying to make sour you weren’t uncomfortable.

“No, I’m okay. I don’t feel any different,” you responded with a yawn. Your shoulder aches slightly, but you deemed it worth it.

“You might not feel that way later, though!” He whined, pawing at your hands.

You giggled as you saw the ending credits to the movie you were supposed to watch.

“Good thing I took the next two days off!”

[chesirecatsmile]

max chuckles deeply as he starts to run his hand up the leg of daniel's jeans. they’re sitting on the double bed in max's hotel room together, both a bit drunk and a bit high from the race.

"do you want to–" he starts, palming daniel over the thick layer of denim.

daniel's breath catches in his throat as max looks at him straight in the eyes like he hasn't just turned daniel’s word upside down. there is no denying that he's just been propositioned. by max. max has just propositioned him.

"answer. even if it is to say no.” max’s hand presses again, more insistent. “but i want to, and i know you do."

daniel carefully presses his lips together for a moment before speaking. "i’m not going to say no."

max laughs, and his laugh always makes daniel’s stomach flip and tighten. for a moment he wonders if max is tired and drunk enough to regret this in the morning, but it's hard to make excuses for this.

the room is warm. daniel feels the heat down his back and on his legs, where max is pressing.

"go on then," max growls into his ear, daring, closing the gap between them. he starts to undo his own jeans.

it shouldn't be this easy. there should be more consideration, more build-up. 

more time.

then again, daniel considers, isn't his whole life long enough?

max thrusts into daniel's hand and moans, his pink lips parting and neck thrown back. after a while, it's clear max isn't going to move to reciprocate, so daniel puts his other hand down his jeans to get his own dick out, never taking his eyes off max.

****

"why did that take us so long?” max says quietly afterwards. he rolls over to the other side of the bed and gets up to pad around on the floor for his boxers. 

he doesn't seem worried at all. he's not talking about it, not pleading with daniel to never tell anyone about this, ever, and daniel keeps waiting for it to happen, but instead max just suggests that daniel should probably get back to his room because it's late and no-one should find them like this in the morning. 

daniel nods dumbly in agreement and leaves. If max isn't initiating a conversation, he certainly isn't fucking going to.

****

daniel doesn't regret it the next day, but as soon as he wakes up - still wearing the same jeans, unbuttoned and unzipped - he knows that something will have changed between them.

but, day-to-day, nothing different happens, although he wasn't quite sure what he was expecting. marko is still there being a pain and max still bickers and disagrees with him on all the same points as he used to. daniel sometimes thinks he sees max watching him out of the corner of his eye in a way he never used to, but that might only be because he wants max to be looking at him like that.

they still haven't talked about it. kelly still stays over at max's three times a week, and daniel tries not to think about that too much.

It takes several weeks and plenty of liquid courage for daniel to see max outside of work, at a team gathering in london.

"are we ever doing this again?" daniel hisses, his fingers digging into max's shoulders and his body pushing max against the wall of a shady alley just outside the pub. max doesn't answer. "i want to fuck you," he mutters, wishing that saying it didn't make him blush. 

a hot twist of satisfaction rushes through him as he feels max tremble slightly at the statement.

"really?" max breathes. "we’ll see about that." daniel tilts his head to kiss him, but max pulls away, grabs daniel by the wrist, and calls for a taxi.

it’s no time at all, or that's what it feels like for daniel, whose thoughts alone could take him miles away - before they're in max's bedroom and max is above him and holding him down on the bed with his hands on daniel's hips. now, daniel realises max's intentions, and despite the concerns he has about what going where, he finds with a slight shock that he is more than happy to let max do this to him.

max pulls down daniel's jeans, an action momentarily uncomfortable for daniel due to his erection on the way, and shoves daniel's t-shirt up to his underarms, exposing his chest. one trip to the bedside cabinet and then there's two, three lubed fingers like max has done all of this before. we really should be kissing, daniel thinks, but you can't have it all.

as if asking daniel if he were sure would be admitting too much or breaking the spell, max just pushes daniel's bent legs back and slides in. everything is slick with lube, but it's still a little rough because daniel hasn't done this for a very, very long time. but that's max's face in front of his and it feels fucking good, he moves to meet max's gentle thrusts and grunts in shared pleasure straight after max does.

at least this time max touches him, telling him to keep his legs held back as he moves one hand to daniel's inner thigh and the other to bring daniel off with smooth, steady strokes. daniel's neck arches back from the feel of it and he can't reign in the desperate sounds he's making.

it's not long before max is hitting him deep inside and running the pad of his thumb across the head of his dick and he's coming all over max's hand. max is face to face with him when that happens; they're still not kissing, but daniel knows they shared the same breath when he came, parted desperate lips so close to each other's, and the thought alone makes his mouth go dry.

max follows him soon after, coming inside him with one hand sliding against daniel's stomach, slick with daniel's come.

"can i stay?" daniel asks, before max has even pulled out.

"yes," he replies, but doesn't say anything else, just pulls out and climbs out of bed, leaving daniel alone.

daniel hears him making a drink or a bowl of cereal in the kitchen for half an hour. when he finally returns, daniel takes the easy route out and pretends to be asleep.

****

at least things don't stop altogether this time.

max touches him a little more often than he used to whenever they're alone or in a safe space, but he's still as careful as he's always been with anything that matters, and daniel uses that thought as reassurance. the jokes and banter they've always made about each other have a charge to them now. daniel notes that social media laughs like always did when the dating jokes and rumours came around, but he feels this time around they are both contributing to them.

after a long day of filming at the red bull ring, max corners daniel in the cafeteria bathroom when it's just the two of them.

"do you still want to fuck me?" he asks almost politely into daniel's ear, managing to look up at daniel even though he’s taller, one hand splayed across daniel's ass and the other holding him firmly against the wall. daniel stares at him and max presses his body slowly and deliberately into daniel's.

"yeah," daniel says, barely hearing himself.

"okay," max replies, "good."

then they are interrupted by max’s ringtone that sounds like a fucking ambulance.

"hello," max says, quickly removing his hand from daniel and stepping away. he nods several times as the caller gets across their point quickly and max says nothing else except for, "see you, bye," before ending the call.

"that was kelly," he tells daniel, although daniel barely needs the confirmation. "she's coming to my hotel later."

"perhaps we could...here..."

max's eyes dart around the empty room. "no. another time," he says, his head bowed in silent apology. two jerky movements later and he's shut the door behind him and left.

daniel bites the skin around his nails the entire taxi drive back to his room.

****

three days later, max calls just as daniel finishes replying to the last email in his inbox and is about to switch on netflix

"come over," he says, like daniel lives just across the road.

"right now?"

"right now."

daniel takes a single, deep breath. "alright."

after flinging out a quick excuse to michael and driving all the way from almost fucking france, daniel finally arrives to max’s in a frenzy before he can think about it.

when he rings the doorbell he can hear other voices; when max opens the door kelly and a couple daniel knows only vaguely peer at him curiously from max's living room.

max coughs and very quickly leads daniel away from the house.

"daniel-" he stutters. "i forgot to say...I'm sorry. you're going to have to go. unless you want to join us?"

"no, thank you," daniel says coldly, the beginnings of arousal fading fast, and he gets straight back in his aston martin.

****

on monday, they're both in meetings in milton keynes.

"sorry about the other night," max tells him when they run into each other near the men's toilets on the fourth floor. he smiles slightly like everything is alright now and launches into discussing their respective sim sessions scheduled for the next day. daniel smiles back as he listens but feels a familiar pang in his chest and the whole brief exchange confirms what daniel's thought all along- that max has no idea how to deal with this.

their friendship does continue to function well, at least. it's not like there's much choice about it, not right in the middle of the season and straight after renewing their contracts. they are contractually obligated to get along well.they still make each other- for the most part- happier, filling their roles as predictable, constant mates.

and so daniel resolves to put this recent bizarre series of events in their entirety down to a few bad decisions and forgets about it, but one evening (an otherwise entirely normal evening of two six-packs of beer purchased from the carrefour at the end of max's road and bickering) max pushes daniel right up against his bedroom wall and daniel lets him. it’s wrong, and daniel thinks for a moment about stopping, but he's hard and he needs this and daniel is never one to say no to something he so desperately wants.

from his bedside drawer, max hands over lube and a condom. "do you want to?" he asks, a shy smile in place. 

daniel nods.

max manoeuvres daniel onto his back in the middle of the bed, it seems that max takes it for granted that daniel will get hard for him as he's still not touching him more than is necessary- still reserved, still fucking holding back- although at least this time max is completely removing his and daniel's clothes efficiently.

kneeling in front of him and slicking his fingers, max reaches behind and prepares himself, and daniel's fingers twist in mid-air in his strong, conscious desire to do it for him. 

but he can only watch as max's eyes flutter closed and mouth falls open, his hard dick quivering and twitching, and a deep flush runs from his cheeks to his chest. after a while - daniel hasn't moved, doesn't touch himself, can't stop watching- max's hands are flat on the bed either side of daniel, and he briefly leans forward and rubs himself against daniel's stomach, leaving a trail of pre-come there before spreading his legs and carefully lowering himself so that daniel is inside him

they both shudder as max slides so that he is firmly seated in daniel's lap. daniel grips him tightly as max slowly shifts.bdaniel looks up at him, prompts him to go ahead wordlessly, too shocked and turned on to say anything.

"i haven't done this for a while," max says in a low, tight voice. he frowns. "and never like this." daniel feels a bolt of inquisitive jealousy shoot through him- who managed it, many years ago? Who had max under them, naked an needy?

it is- are you okay?" daniel asks somewhat gruffly.

"i’m fine," max replies, starting to rock his hips. "it’s good."

they don't really talk after that. max sets the pace, but falters often; daniel keeps his hands on max's hips to keep max where he is. eventually, daniel reaches for max's dick and fists him insistently.

it's over quickly, intense rather than drawn out. when max switches his angle and gets daniel in deeper at the same time daniel flickers the head, max comes. he shudders all over, and it's so incredibly sexy enough to push daniel over the edge straight after.

****

bathed in the gentle, low sun that falls over monte carlo the next morning and lying next to max in bed, daniel realises how awkward and fragile and raw their relationship is now. they are moving towards something both wonderful and frightening; a transition they won't be able to back away from is impending and well within their reach.

"good morning," daniel says, seeing max waking up. "did you sleep well?"

"yes-” max tails off as daniel rolls over so he finally has max under him. he presses max into the mattress and grins before leaning in to run his tongue along max's jawline and neck and clavicle.

but, as he runs his hand up max's still-naked thigh, daniel makes himself really look at max this time, looks firmly at him to try and find what he is feeling mirrored in max's eyes. daniel doesn't see it.

it is then daniel realises his mistake.

"we are sleeping together," daniel says uncharacteristically quiet, stopping, but still hovering above max in the same position. "things are going to get complicated, but that doesn't mean we can't-"

before he's finished his sentence, max's eyes grow wide in panic and he sits up; instinctively, daniel moves back to the other side of the bed. "we've fucked a couple of times," max says with a mirthless laugh. "i  mean, we can't be...there's our career. and kelly."

"but-"

"i'm sorry," max continues, "i don't think we can be teammates and friends like we are and do this. i can't be that close to someone."

"okay," daniel replies, biting back frustration. "we will just… okay- fuck." he doesn't let himself admit anything. he doesn't want to look any more of a fucking idiot.

daniel can't even bring himself to feel heartbreak because anything tangible they had, anything describable, was momentary, barely there. and it is never going to completely disappear, he realises now, this strange tension between them. for years he'd thought an eventual affair was the inevitable conclusion, but as it turns out, that's not the solution either. 

that’s not the ending.

"marko is going to kill me if i don’t call him back,” max says as if nothing ever happened, and things feel the same as they always have except daniel knows now what could have been and that this isn't what he wants.

read on ao3!

[the-cosmic-cauldron]

Unpopular Synastry Opinions 💘💓❣️💚💞💖💙💛🖤💗💜💔❤️💕

Disclaimer: This is a long post. If it doesn’t apply, let it fly. These explanations in my perspective resonate most with your Synastry based on the Whole Sign system.

💕 For me, in order to have a romantic connection with someone, their planets must fall into the houses of romance in your chart. If not, it doesn’t mean you won’t have a romantic relationship, but it does suggest that the connection might be more rooted in friendship, familiarity, work, career, or business rather than romance.

🏡The houses of romance are the 5th, 7th, 8th, and 12th houses.

1️⃣ The 1st house in synastry isn’t particularly amazing to me. In fact, I think it can cause more issues than it provides benefits. The reason is that everything becomes tied to the house person’s identity. For example, if your Sun falls in their 1st house, everything revolves around the house person’s sense of self. While there might be attraction and allure, it also creates a dynamic where the focus is heavily on one person. To me, this doesn’t really scream romance as much as it functions as a confidence booster for the house person. I think it works well if there are other connections to the romantic houses (5th, 7th, 8th, or 12th), as the 1st house overlay can complement those by boosting someone’s confidence within the relationship. However, on its own, I don’t see the 1st house as particularly compelling or significant for fostering deep romance.

(My first house falls in the Moon of my ex, and although he always gave me so many compliments, I never felt like I was extending that same energy to him. This can sometimes lead to the planet person feeling used. First house energy can often come across as selfish.)

2️⃣The 2nd house in synastry always points to a business partnership, working on a project, or trying to accomplish a goal together. To me, it is not a romantic house. It’s heavily focused on assets, finances, and values. While some people tend to romanticize it—because that’s part of the allure of synastry and the desire to find romantic connections—it’s ultimately a serious house. This is where you and the other person are likely to focus on discussions about goals, plans for making money, or increasing stability, rather than romance.It’s not a romantic house at all, and it can also be easily afflicted because it deals with sensitive matters like finances and personal values. If the planetary interactions aren’t beneficial, it can become detrimental. Someone’s planets in your 2nd house could mess up your money, disrupt your goals, complicate business ventures, or undermine your responsibilities and stability.

( All the people I’ve met whose planets fell in my second house were people I encountered when I was trying to accomplish something, had a goal in mind, or was driven and focused on achieving that goal. That’s why I believe the second house isn’t really a house of romance—when you meet these people, you’re not necessarily looking for romance; you’re focused on your goals.

For example, I met two people whose planets fell in my second house while I was in cosmetology school, focused on earning my cosmetology license. I also met a guy in college while I was working toward my degree and pursuing education. Another time, I met someone whose planet fell into my second house, and they actually introduced me to someone else whose planet also fell into my second house.

I’ve noticed a consistent theme: most of the time, when you meet people whose planets fall in your second house, it’s in structured environments like work or school. You might meet them while handling finances at the bank or while pursuing a skill or goal in life. These connections often happen when you’re focused on something significant.

However, these relationships can go either way—they may uplift and support you, or they may become a detriment. In my experience, many of these people ended up being more of a detriment than a positive influence, likely because the second house can sometimes be afflicted and easily lean into its negative aspects.)

3️⃣The 3rd house, to me, is best suited for friendships. The reason it works well for friendships is that it fosters a talkative dynamic. With someone’s planets in your 3rd house, you’re likely to have a relationship where you both enjoy talking about your day-to-day lives, sharing what’s going on, gossiping, and having casual chit-chat.This placement often involves doing things together around town, like going to the mall, visiting restaurants, hanging out at bars or clubs, spending time in nature, or attending events. The energy of the 3rd house brings a sense of local community and a hometown vibe. It emphasizes communication, sharing ideas, and bouncing thoughts off one another.Because of this, the 3rd house is ideal for friendships, as it creates a lighthearted, engaging, and socially active connection.

(The third house is another place where you can meet people, particularly in learning environments. This could include retreats, workshops, hobby classes (like candle-making), or even orientations at school or work. Essentially, any setting where learning takes place is a likely spot to meet someone whose planet falls into your third house.

For example, I once met someone whose Ascendant fell into my third house, and what’s interesting is that we met in a communication class in college. I always find that so fitting for third house energy. When we started talking, we really hit it off—we were texting 24/7, chatting constantly, and hanging out frequently. We’d go to local places like restaurants or ice cream shops, which is so typical of third house energy.

Our activities were very local: we’d attend festivals, events, bars, and clubs together. It wasn’t about long-distance travel; it was about enjoying day-to-day life in the same area. We’d gossip, share details about our daily lives, and even FaceTime when one of us went on vacation—she would literally show me her day in real time.

The third house energy also shaped the tone of our conversations. Since her Ascendant was in Aquarius, we often had open-ended discussions about the future, radical ideas, activism, and LGBTQ topics. This placement is fantastic for friendships—it’s the “bestie energy,” where you always want to hang out locally and talk endlessly. It’s the type of connection where you’re constantly saying, “Let’s go anywhere in town and just hang out.”)

4️⃣The 4th house, to me, is not really a good house for romance or friendship. The reason I say this is that for romance, the 4th house is about familiarity, but that familiarity doesn’t always feel good. It can be something like, “Oh, you remind me of home,” but what is home? That’s different for everyone. People come from all sorts of backgrounds, and what feels familiar to one person might be unhealthy. For some, home could mean toxic people, manipulators, narcissists, abusers, or individuals who lack compassion. Navigating the 4th house can be difficult because not everyone has a positive experience with familiarity. This house also focuses a lot on home life, and when it’s negatively afflicted, it can cause tension between you and this person’s family. Their family might not accept you, they could judge you, or it could simply create a dependent relationship. In friendships or romantic relationships, the 4th house can trigger old wounds, leading to feelings of being stuck, codependent, or bogged down.That said, if someone comes from a healthy, nurturing home environment and has a positive background, the 4th house can create a sense of comfort and security, especially if familiarity is what they’re seeking. However, most people are often looking for something different than their family or roots when they seek a partner or even a friend. They want something new and different. So, for many, the 4th house can be an afflicted house.

(In my experience with people whose planets fell into my fourth house, the relationship always felt like I already knew them. With fourth house energy, there’s this overwhelming sense of familiarity—you feel like you’ve met this person before, or they remind you of someone from your family or home life. It’s almost as if they embody the essence of your upbringing, and that familiarity can create an instant connection.

When you meet someone with planets in your fourth house, they might remind you of your family or your home life, making it feel like you can understand them easily. There’s a sense of relating to them on a deep level because they reflect so much of what you’ve already experienced.

However, what I don’t like about fourth house energy is how it mirrors so much of your home life and your past. The relationship tends to reflect your prior experiences, including your upbringing and relationships within your family. If your home life wasn’t healthy or was filled with challenges, this can be incredibly triggering.

For example, I grew up dealing with manipulation at home, and I met someone whose personal planet fell into my fourth house who was also very manipulative. Another person with this placement was extremely emotional, which mirrored the highly emotional environment I grew up in. Like me, this person had also grown up in an emotionally destabilized home and dealt with similar abuses. Relationships like these can create a trauma bond because you’re connecting over shared wounds and struggles from your past.

Of course, if you had a healthy and happy home life, this dynamic might feel completely different and positive. But when that’s not the case, it can feel overwhelming and even draining. Most of the fourth house relationships I’ve been in have felt familiar and similar to me, but that similarity wasn’t always a good thing. At times, it felt like it hindered the relationship because it didn’t foster growth or bring anything new to the table.

The fourth house energy often brings relationships that reflect what you’re used to. But I think most people, myself included, are usually looking for something different—something outside of their comfort zone and past experiences. Fourth house relationships tend to repeat patterns from the past or bring people who are too similar to you.

For instance, I tend to avoid confrontation when I have issues, and I can be quite passive. I met someone whose planet fell into my fourth house, and they were exactly the same way. Instead of addressing problems, they just blocked me, which is something I’ve been guilty of doing as well.

People whose planets fall into your fourth house can act like a mirror, reflecting your past or your unresolved issues. They can be so similar to you that it becomes difficult to grow or create the kind of relationship you truly want. These relationships often feel like they have unresolved tension or lingering issues, and they don’t always foster a deep or fulfilling connection.)

5️⃣ To me, the 5th house is all about romance. Some people often talk about how the 5th house is fleeting, but you have to understand that they only attribute that perception because they’re projecting their own idea of romance onto the 5th house. The 5th house represents the type of romance you see in the movies, where someone gives you flowers, shows up for dates, writes love letters, and you’re going to different places together, enjoying time with each other. It’s the kind of romance where you’re so in love and captivated with one another, always wanting to be around each other, bringing each other happiness. You smile more when you’re together, and life just feels better because you’re doing things you love, inspired by the other person. The 5th house is a deeply romantic house. I don’t fall into the trap of thinking, “Oh, it’s not long-lasting.” I think people often say that because they’re projecting their own idea of romance onto it. But the 5th house brings that idealized, cheesy romance—the kind where you write each other love letters, poems, or even sing to each other. It’s giving gifts, roses, and all the Pinterest-worthy relationship moments. That’s the energy the 5th house brings.When you see an artsy couple painting together, that’s 5th house energy. When you see a couple who’s always laughing, giggling, and having fun, that’s 5th house energy. And when you see a couple who can’t keep their hands off each other, always touching and feeling on each other, that’s 5th house energy too. It’s a house that brings a fun, playful, and passionate vibe to relationships.

( The people whose personal planets fall in my fifth house always make everything feel like a fun time, where the focus is really just on fun, romance, and romantic things. Even with my sister, whose personal planet falls in my fifth house, we are really close. She’s done so many romantic things for me, like giving me romantic gifts, and we’re affectionate with each other. We write each other long paragraphs, compliment each other, and do fun things together. We try out hobbies like planting plants, doing artwork, and doing makeup together. We just have so much fun—we laugh together and always watch these dramatic shows, which is such fifth house energy.

Even in friendships, the fifth house energy makes things so enjoyable. You’re always going out to eat, doing things that make you laugh, and creating memories together. You’re really loyal to each other and don’t want that loyalty to ever break. You go on a lot of dates and genuinely have fun. My ex, whose personal planet also fell into my fifth house, and I did the same things. We’d go to Dave & Buster’s to have fun, ride scooters all around town, and spend hours on FaceTime joking and laughing. We’d go out to eat together, enjoying food, and listen to music together. We wanted to start things together like hobbies. He’d write me love letters, send me paragraphs expressing his love, and dedicate songs to me. We had songs that were “ours.” He’d get me flowers and buy me gifts, things he didn’t do for other girls. He was so deeply in love with me and wanted to do all the cheesy and romantic things.

Fifth house energy is truly needed—it makes you feel so attracted to each other. You just appreciate each other so much, and giving gifts, compliments, and doing romantic things comes effortlessly. Even in friendships, you’re always ready to have a good time. You really become besties because you enjoy each other that much.)

6️⃣Again, I know a lot of people romanticize certain houses, but the 6th house is not one to romanticize. The 6th house is a boring house. It is not about romance. I think it’s a good house to have in your relationship with your parents. If you have a parent with a 6th house placement, it can make them a great, responsible parent to you. The 6th house handles day-to-day routines, work, goals, projects, responsibilities, and health. So, yes, if you have a relationship with your parent that involves the 6th house, that’s fine.However, you don’t want to have a friendship in the 6th house. It leads to a boring friendship—one that you probably have because you work together or attend school together. It’s a friendship that’s likely to fizzle out because, outside of the goal or task you’re working on, it lacks depth and becomes dull. It also requires a lot of work. With a parent and child, the 6th house is somewhat inevitable because parenting is a lot of work. But in a friendship or romantic relationship, if it requires too much work, it can cause strain. It can make you feel miserable, as if there’s no romance in the relationship.There’s also a level of service and duty in the 6th house. You might even feel obligated to the other person. That’s why I said the 6th house is best for parent-child relationships. In that dynamic, you’re more likely to feel obligated, but in a friendship or romance, it can feel burdensome.

(The sixth house is really a boring placement for me. I know a couple of people whose personal planets fall into my sixth house, and there’s always this sense of boredom. I feel like they’re boring, and I want more fun, adventure, and excitement, but they just can’t provide that for me. That’s what the sixth house is—it has a very dry energy, and it often comes with a feeling of obligation and work. You might feel obligated to these people, even if you genuinely don’t want to do things with them. You might still feel like, “Oh, I just have to do this for this person,” or, “Let me just suck it up and go hang out with them,” because that’s the energy they bring.

One thing I’ve noticed is that there are often really boring periods in the relationship where nothing exciting is happening. All your hangouts feel really dry—maybe you don’t have much to talk about or share. You’re only talking about your job or your goals, and there’s nothing else you’re really discussing. People with a sixth house placement will talk a lot about work, responsibilities, and their goals. There’s rarely any deep or fun conversation. A lot of these people focus on education or other serious topics, which adds to the boring feel.

Also, with sixth house energy, these are the kind of people who might give you only what they can offer, rather than meeting your expectations. You might expect more romance, fun, or excitement, but they’ll just give you, “Oh, let’s hang out and do this,” and nothing else is really planned. I had one person whose personal planet fell in my sixth house, and they were so boring to talk to—it was just a snooze fest. Another person, I always felt like I never had fun around them. Everything just felt dry. Communication can be deep in some aspects, but I feel like a lot of what they want to do is super boring and routine. They really just want to stick to their routine, and that’s what I don’t like about people whose personal planets fall into your sixth house—they’re unwilling to break out of their routine. You have to adjust to their routine, and if it’s someone in your family, you’re going to feel heavily obligated to them. You may not even care to be around them, but you still feel like you have to stick around and do things for them.)

7️⃣ The seventh house represents the quintessential romance that we are told about—opposites attract, and you find someone who completes you. The whole idea of the seventh house is that you meet someone who complements you, someone who makes you feel loved and makes everything in your life more meaningful. The seventh house is about opposites attracting. You come to this earth with only a certain amount of traits, attributes, or space for yourself, and then you find a partner who completes that picture for you. So, the seventh house is all about finding a soulmate. To me, the seventh house really indicates soulmate energy—the energy of your other half, the energy of what we could even call a twin flame. That’s the energy I get from the seventh house.For example, if you’re an Aries Rising, the seventh house would be Libra for you. In saying that, the seventh house is Libra for you, meaning Aries holds a certain energy opposite to Libra, and Libra holds a certain energy opposite to Aries. When they come together, they almost become complementary. The passive and the assertive unite to create a wholesome picture.When you think about the seventh house, you think about people bringing different qualities. You think about Libra bringing the romance, flowers, and all the beautiful romantic things. You think about Aries as the provider, the protector, the person who takes care of the house, makes sure the bills are paid, and makes decisions. It’s a traditional type of relationship that you get with the seventh house.For some people, they prefer the romance of the fifth house, but I would say the seventh house is more about a traditional relationship. It’s where the woman is more submissive and the man takes on the role of the head or the leader of the house. The seventh house energy suggests that we have roles that we’re assigned and we play, and that’s how we navigate our relationship. The seventh house is about courtship—the person you’re with courts you. It follows the traditional steps, like courting, proposing, getting married, and living happily ever after.

(People forget that your 7th house is based on your rising sign, not your sun sign. A lot of people will say, “Oh, I couldn’t go with this type of person based on their sun sign,” but it’s based on your rising. Every person I’ve met whose personal planet fell into my 7th house has had a crush on me. They’ve been interested, thought I was attractive, and enjoyed our conversations. I’ve had two people whose planets fell into my 7th house, and yes, they did find me attractive, but at the same time, they got really into me when we were talking. Just being able to have discussions with me drew them in even more. I feel like a lot of them thought I was the perfect person for them or the “good girl” for them.

I feel like 7th house energy represents someone feeling like you’re the right person for them. With friendships, it’s that type of bond where the other person really understands you. I had someone whose personal planet fell into my 7th house, and I felt like they truly understood me. They easily grasped my perspective, and I also felt like they were my vibe. I like to talk a lot, and they liked to talk a lot too—we just clicked.

7th house friendships can be really fun. Every time someone I’m around lands in my 7th house with any planet, they always want to talk to me. They get curious about me, feel like I’m a good person, and are drawn to the positive elements of me. I feel like people with a personal planet in my 7th house really like me. That’s what you often get—an affinity for you, even if you’re just friends. If you’re in a relationship, they always kind of like you. Even if you’re different, they’re interested in those differences. They don’t shy away from them; in fact, the differences pull them in. )

8️⃣Unlike the 5th and 7th houses—where the 5th house represents cheesy, romantic, fun couple goals, and the 7th house represents the traditional couple that leads to marriage—the 8th house represents the deep couple. Imagine a couple that has long, meaningful conversations, getting to know each other on a level most others don’t, where they can read each other’s minds and pick up on cues without speaking.Imagine a relationship where you can have tantric intimacy, or where just being around each other creates a sense of arousal. Picture a bond so strong that you feel like a ride-or-die partner, with unshakable loyalty to the deepest degree. No matter what happens, you remain devoted to this person, willing to go through thick and thin, hell and high waters, as long as you’re together. This is the type of person you would fight for—literally. It’s the kind of relationship where you protect your partner to the highest degree, never allowing anyone to disrespect them. That’s 8th house energy.The 8th house energy is staying up late, talking for hours about each other’s lives, bonding over past experiences, traumas, fears, and the most vulnerable parts of yourselves. It’s the kind of relationship where you can stare into each other’s eyes and see straight into each other’s souls. This type of relationship teaches you so much about yourself, both inside and outside the bedroom. It’s a bond where you trust your partner so deeply that you share things with them you wouldn’t with anyone else—your secrets, your money, your entire self.The 8th house energy is not for everyone, just as 7th house energy isn’t for everyone. The 8th house demands a level of depth, vulnerability, rawness, authenticity, and intimacy that touches every aspect of the relationship. It’s not a surface-level bond. It’s not the type of relationship you post about online for the aesthetic. Instead, it’s the type where you pour your heart out, writing five-page letters detailing every reason you love this person.The 8th house energy can feel so intertwined that when your partner goes through something, it feels like you’re going through it too. At times, the intensity can become overwhelming, leading to moments when you feel the need to take a step back and catch your breath. These relationships often experience heated arguments and deeply emotional highs and lows. Yet, despite the challenges, this is the type of relationship that fosters immense growth. It’s the ultimate catalyst for personal and relational evolution.

(Be prepared for deep bonds when someone’s personal planets are in your eighth house. Every person I’ve had dealings with whose personal planet is in my eighth house has resulted in a deep relationship. Usually, what happens is that if you’re dealing with someone of a gender you’re attracted to, there’s automatically a lot of focus on intimacy. That comes to the forefront, and it’s something that isn’t always talked about, but the eighth house brings up raw, primal energy—those suppressed desires. When you’re around that person, you just really want to unleash them. It also gives you this perspective of navigating intense emotions and channeling them into physical intimacy.

With friendships, the relationships are very deep, with a lot of loyalty. You can easily talk about deep topics quickly, often diving into trauma bonding. You discuss your fears and vulnerabilities, and you may feel more open to talk about things you normally wouldn’t. But with other people, especially in romantic dynamics, the eighth house energy can also be fearful and uncertain. You may not know if you can trust the person, and sometimes those bonds never fully develop because there’s a lack of trust. Trust issues often arise with eighth house energy.

I’ve had eighth house energy with people where I could talk to them on the phone for hours. With this energy, when you’re around them, you can feel their emotions. It creates an empathetic bond, especially depending on the sign it’s in. I’ve also noticed that eighth house energy prompts you to confront your trauma or unpack your issues. So, a lot of talking about personal struggles, trauma, and vulnerabilities happens. It creates a very ride-or-die relationship—you might hate the person one minute and love them the next, but there’s a loyalty that remains. It’s a very passionate relationship, and there’s a lot of passion shared between you.

What I’ve noticed in eighth house relationships is that they often go through cycles. You may be super close, then fall off, and then come back together. You’ll never really forget someone whose planet falls in your eighth house, or vice versa. They’re the type of person you think about deeply, even if things are no longer happening. These relationships can get overwhelming at times, and you may need space from each other. At some point, stepping back from the situation is necessary. Money often comes into play with eighth house energy—either the person doesn’t want to spend on you, they’re going through a financial crisis, you need money, or you end up loaning them money. Money is always somehow tied to eighth house relationships.)

9️⃣The 9th house is not typically seen as an ideal house to share with someone in a relationship. It often represents distance, usually physical distance. Whether the relationship is with a family member, a friend, or a lover, there’s likely to be some physical separation involved. At some point, you may find yourselves apart due to opportunities for personal growth, education, or differing life paths—such as one person moving to a new city while the other stays behind. This distance can create challenges and make the relationship feel tricky to navigate.Another aspect of 9th house relationships is the potential for arguments and conflicts, especially when it comes to philosophies, beliefs, and education. Everyone has their own perspective, and if these perspectives clash, it can lead to constant disagreements. For example, if you and the other person have opposing beliefs, the relationship may turn into a cycle of asserting your viewpoints without finding common ground. This might look like one person being Christian and the other Muslim, which can create difficulties in navigating shared values. Or it could be a dynamic where one person is highly spiritual while the other is deeply religious, like a mother forcing religion on a child who leans more toward spirituality. In romantic relationships, differing beliefs can also show up in lifestyle choices, such as one partner favoring traditional provider roles while the other prefers a 50-50 partnership. These clashes over philosophies can make the relationship feel strained. However, if both people share similar beliefs, the 9th house energy can foster open discussions, thoughtful debates, and mutual growth. It becomes a space for diving deep into shared values, exploring ideas, and expanding together. This mutual understanding can make the energy of the 9th house productive and rewarding. The challenges of the 9th house also include the physical distance that often arises. Travel may be necessary to see each other, and the lack of physical closeness can take away from the intimacy of the relationship. Additionally, the 9th house often focuses on growth and expansion, which can mean that personal journeys take precedence over the relationship itself. One person may prioritize their personal development or career, while the other might not, creating a mismatch in priorities.In summary, while the 9th house can provide opportunities for intellectual growth and shared exploration when beliefs align, it often comes with challenges like physical distance, differing philosophies, and an emphasis on individual journeys over the relationship. In my personal perspective, it’s not the easiest placement for building a strong, intimate connection.

(I’ve had two relationships with people whose personal planets fell in my ninth house, and what I can tell you is that, at some point, there’s going to be distance. At some point, it’s going to be long distance, and you’ll have to decide which path you want to go on: do you want to stay together, or are you growing apart? Ninth house energy often leads to relationships where you just grow apart. You get together initially, share common philosophies, outlooks, perspectives, and beliefs, but then you grow apart as you’re on different paths, and it no longer aligns.

In both of those relationships, there were clearly two different belief systems, and I feel like that’s usually what happens with ninth house placements. It typically means that you come from two different backgrounds. For the first person, I wasn’t religious, but they were. For the second person, we had different upbringings—I grew up in apartments with both parents, and they grew up in a house with a single mother. Just two different lifestyles. Both of these people had different beliefs from mine, and it created a lot of tension because we had conflicting belief systems and perspectives. That was a big struggle for me.

Ninth house relationships can sometimes feel like you’re longing for something you’re not getting. You’re yearning for something, and it’s more about hope than reality. Another thing I’ve noticed in ninth house relationships is that they tend to occur when you’re going through a period of growth, challenges, or transition—when you’re moving on to the next chapter. You often meet these people when you need someone to pull you out of your circumstances or give you a new perspective. You might meet them when you’re more closed-minded, struggling, or isolated. But what I’ve found is that these relationships are often meant to help you in the moment, and then, at some point, you break up and move on because they don’t last forever, on and off again relationship)

1️⃣0️⃣To me, the 10th house is not a good house for anything other than work. It functions well in a professional setting because, in the workplace, there’s an inherent understanding and acceptance of authority. You expect to have a manager, boss, or supervisor—someone above you in the hierarchy, such as a CEO. Even if you dislike your manager or supervisor, you generally respect the roles and the structure. This hierarchy makes sense in the context of work, but when it comes to friendships and romantic relationships, the dynamics become trickier. The 10th house works better in a parent-child relationship. For example, having a 10th house placement with your mother or father can be beneficial. They can provide structure, guidance, and support in making decisions about your education, career, and other life matters. Parents in this placement can help you build discipline and make strategic choices. However, in any other relationship, particularly romantic or platonic, the 10th house tends to introduce issues like power imbalances, abuse of authority, narcissism, and overly critical or forceful behavior. This house can easily become afflicted and detrimental.In romantic relationships, authority is not a desirable dynamic unless you’re someone who explicitly seeks a traditional structure, such as a woman looking for a man to be the provider, leader, or authority figure. However, in modern times, many people don’t want that kind of dynamic in their relationships, and as a result, 10th house placements in romance often create friction. Additionally, the 10th house focuses heavily on public image—how you’re perceived by the world around you. This can lead to relationships or friendships that look perfect on the surface but are completely different behind closed doors.For example, a romantic couple with 10th house energy might appear polished and ideal to the outside world—they dress well, present themselves as successful, and seem like the “it couple.” But privately, their relationship could be riddled with conflict, domestic violence, or toxicity. Think about Beyoncé and Jay-Z: they were seen as the ultimate power couple, but behind the scenes, they faced challenges that tarnished that perfect image. Similarly, a 10th house friendship might look like two people who are inseparable and deeply connected, but in reality, they talk down to each other, bully one another, or even blackmail each other. The public perception is completely at odds with the truth. When the 10th house energy is working positively, it might involve mutual support to achieve success or maintaining a strong public image together. However, even in its best form, it lacks depth and intimacy. It’s more about external appearances and worldly accomplishments than genuine emotional connection. For this reason, I don’t see the 10th house as conducive to romantic relationships. Its focus on power dynamics, public image, and superficial success often overshadows the qualities that make a partnership meaningful.

(In the relationships I’ve had with people whose personal planets fall in my 10th house, one being a romantic relationship and the other a friendship, I’ve noticed a pattern. The person with the planets in my 10th house often idealizes you for your appearance or public image, even before they get to know you. They might be attracted to you simply because you’re pretty, have a nice style, or present yourself well. It’s not in a dreamy, Piscean way, but more in a superficial, external way—they want to be part of your life because of how you look or what you represent.

For example, the first guy I dated with personal planets in my 10th house thought I was attractive and liked my style, but he focused more on how we looked as a couple and wanted to present a perfect image. He would tell everyone how much he loved me, but behind closed doors, he treated me terribly. He was rude, critical, and even talked to other women. The second guy was similar, but in this case, he made me look good publicly, like we were close friends, but secretly had a crush on me. Eventually, he started expressing his feelings, and everything turned awkward.

What I’ve learned is that 10th house relationships can be very mismatched. What’s presented to the public isn’t always what’s happening behind the scenes. You might look good on the outside, but your relationship could be falling apart, or vice versa. There’s often a disconnect between how things are presented to others and what’s really going on privately.)

1️⃣1️⃣To me, the 11th house is really just a house for friends. It can also work well in parenting, especially as the parent-child relationship evolves and the child gets older. With 11th house energy, a parent might be more accepting, allowing their child to fully embrace who they are. This house also functions well in a work environment, where you’re collaborating with people you respect, find intriguing, and genuinely enjoy being around. That kind of energy makes for a great professional setting. However, when it comes to romantic relationships, the 11th house doesn’t feel romantic to me. Unless you’re looking for something unconventional—like a friends-with-benefits situation, a sneaky link, or a polyamorous relationship such as a thruple—the 11th house is not ideal for romance. This house gives off a vibe of I like being around you, but I don’t want any strings attached. Some people argue that 11th house energy represents “besties to lovers,” but I disagree. Synergy in a romantic relationship is something that typically exists from the beginning and continues throughout the relationship. I don’t believe it starts as friendship and then grows into something deeper. Instead, 11th house relationships often lead to situationships. For example, when someone says, We’ve been talking for three months, but they haven’t brought up commitment, that could be a result of 11th house energy. It tends to avoid true commitment and romance, sticking instead to a friendship-like dynamic. In our modern culture, when you’re dealing with someone you’re physically attracted to, this energy might naturally lead to intimacy, but that doesn’t necessarily mean it will lead to commitment. If you share 11th house placements with someone, it’s important to recognize that the relationship will likely be unconventional. That’s just the nature of the 11th house—it prioritizes friendship and camaraderie over romantic spark.For example, have you ever seen a couple who are so alike in personality that they seem more like friends? They can laugh, goof around, and have a great time together, but imagining them being romantically intimate feels almost impossible because their energy is so platonic. That’s 11th house energy. It’s the type of connection where someone might say, We’re sneaky links; we hang out late at night, but I’m not trying to commit to this long term. Couples with 11th house energy might describe each other as my best friend, not necessarily because they’re deeply in love but because that’s exactly how they view each other—as best friends. This is the person they talk to about everything, the person who gets them like no one else. While that dynamic can be valuable in a relationship, I don’t personally see it as romantic. It feels more like a friendship with an unconventional twist, rather than a deep, lifelong romantic partnership.

( People with personal planets in my 11th house feel like good friends to me. One relationship I had, I felt like it messed up the romantic part because I just wanted to be friends and be intimate whenever we felt like it. That’s the energy the 11th house brings—it’s very friendly.

We shared common interests, like nature, traveling, good food, and psychology. Another person I knew had similar interests, like anime, photography, and activism. I’ve found friendships with 11th house people are easy to develop because we click right away. It’s also the kind of unconventional friendship where the person might be a bit “weird” or have niche interests.

In romantic relationships with 11th house people, I’ve never been able to stay in them. Even when a friend wanted to try a romantic relationship, it felt like we were just better off as friends. The connection felt more like friendship than romance, and that’s how I’ve felt in all 11th house relationships. Even with someone I was in an actual relationship with, it felt more like a friendship than a romance. We shared interests, had fun together, and talked a lot—often through online mediums. I met one person online, and we communicated a lot this way. So, relationships with 11th house people tend to be more about friendship and shared experiences.)

1️⃣2️⃣The 12th house is a controversial house because it represents many things that can easily be misunderstood. It is undeniably a romantic house because all the water houses are inherently romantic. Water represents emotions, depth, and the connections that bond us together through shared emotional experiences. Romance, at its core, is built on emotions—falling in love and staying in love are deeply emotional processes. However, the 12th house can be difficult to navigate because we live in a concrete, practical world. We’re expected to work, go to school, and handle daily responsibilities, which often strips away the romantic energy to begin with. The 12th house is especially challenging because it represents a spiritual kind of love, and many people don’t focus on spirituality in their daily lives. Instead, they’re preoccupied with the practical.Additionally, our cultural ideas about romance—such as courting, dating, talking stages, and following a linear progression to commitment—don’t align with 12th house energy. This energy doesn’t follow those parameters. If you’re looking for a relationship that fits into your physical, practical day-to-day life, 12th house energy might feel out of place or even disruptive. This is why some people with 12th house energy in their relationships may end up having secret affairs. For example, someone who doesn’t have time for romance in their primary relationship might seek out a secret connection to fulfill that desire for something mystical and boundless. The 12th house is a house without boundaries, concreteness, or structure, which can lead to things like secret love affairs or deception. However, people often misunderstand what 12th house energy truly is. It’s a spiritual love, a telepathic connection. It’s when you meet someone and feel like you can read their mind. It’s when you feel an inexplicable familiarity, as though you’ve known them in a past life. It’s soulmate energy, often tied to karmic lessons and spiritual growth. This is the type of love where you might dream about each other before even meeting or have dreams that predict the circumstances of your first encounter. It’s a connection where you feel deeply attuned to one another’s energy, where simply being in each other’s presence feels like entering another dimension. Words often fail to capture the depth of this connection because it’s not a verbal or physical relationship—it’s intuitive and telepathic. This type of bond is reflected in relationships where couples explore spirituality together. They might meditate for hours, burn incense, study astrology, or discuss esoteric topics. It’s a relationship that transcends the physical and focuses on the soul. You see past each other’s flaws and physical appearance, loving the person’s essence unconditionally. In a 12th house relationship, you often want to escape from the world together. This isn’t a connection where you want to be surrounded by crowds or in busy, chaotic environments. Instead, you crave solitude with this person—whether that’s staying at home, retreating to a cabin in the woods, or finding some secluded, peaceful place to be together. Even intimacy in this relationship feels deeper than the physical. It’s about unlocking parts of your subconscious and evolving together. You help each other discover more about yourselves, exploring hidden facets of your being and diving into the depths of your soul. The 12th house often leads to relationships where you avoid focusing on practical matters. Instead, you want to engage in hobbies, dance, play, or simply escape reality together. This avoidance of the practical is what makes the 12th house dangerous for romance—it lacks boundaries and isn’t rooted in the physical world. It’s boundless, spiritual, and open, which can feel both freeing and unsettling. Ultimately, the 12th house is about a love that transcends reality, existing in a realm of its own.

( Relationships where someone’s personal planet falls in my 12th house are really hard to manage. Often, you’re not even prepared for what that relationship brings. I had an ex with their personal planet in my 12th house, and we kept coming together. There was so much between us—he’d walk me to the train station, call me all the time, and we were great with intimacy. But I had intense feelings I couldn’t understand. That’s the thing with 12th house energy—it’s confusing. You can love someone deeply and feel close to them, but sometimes the lines blur, and you can’t figure out how you really feel. The 12th house energy is internal, spiritual, and psychological, not as physical. Sometimes, you feel so close to someone, yet distant at the same time. There’s a lot of weirdness in these relationships. You end up talking about things you’ve never discussed with others, and sometimes you find yourself attracted to the person in a way you’re not used to. You care deeply, but it’s hard to express that care. This energy also requires a lot of alone time. You feel like you can only truly be yourself with each other. When you’re around other people, you act differently. It can be a very private relationship where you don’t share many details about each other or the connection. The relationship just happens, and you keep it to yourselves. There can be weird tension when you’re together, as it feels like you’re picking up on each other’s emotions without knowing how to interpret them. Trust issues often come up, and the energy can feel confusing. In one situation, I literally thought, “This is my soulmate,” but at the same time, I felt the need to get away from him. It’s a confusing, isolated energy. These relationships do best when they exist in their own world, but trying to bring others into it can cause problems. There’s a lot of love and care in 12th house connections, but it’s not always easy for others to understand.)

💜My favorite aspects in synastry are trines and oppositions. The reason I love trines is that they come naturally. There’s nothing you need to do in the relationship to create that element—it simply exists when you’re with this person. It’s like being with your mom, who naturally wants to make food for you, nourish you, and pamper you. You don’t have to ask her every day, “Can you make me food?” She just comes home, whips up a pot, and serves it to you. That’s the energy of a trine—effortless, nurturing, and harmonious. Oppositions, on the other hand, remind me of a defiant child. For example, a child might insist on touching a hot stove despite their parent’s warnings. They’re so set in their thoughts and feelings that they ignore the warning, touch the stove, and get burned. Then the parent says, “I told you so.” Oppositions are about growth. They challenge you to expand your perspective and adapt to new ways of thinking, feeling, and living. For example, a naturally passive person might enter a relationship with someone assertive. While the passive individual may have always “gotten away” with their passivity, this relationship teaches them that they must assert themselves at times. They learn a life lesson through this dynamic. That’s why I appreciate oppositions—they foster personal development and growth.Now, sextiles are not my favorite because they feel underutilized. To me, sextiles are like having a talent or hobby you enjoy, such as digital art. You love creating digital art, but you’re too busy with responsibilities to actually pursue it. A sextile is similar—it’s an energy that doesn’t naturally show up in a relationship unless you consciously decide to activate it. That can be frustrating, especially if life is too chaotic or busy to make use of the potential. You might experience small glimpses of the energy, but it doesn’t fully manifest, leaving you feeling unfulfilled.As for squares, I don’t like them because they feel overly contentious. Squares remind me of a Karen—the type of person you see in viral videos, arguing with strangers in public or refusing to learn, change, or compromise. They’re stuck in their ways, and no amount of reasoning or problem-solving will get through to them. Instead, they escalate situations, creating unnecessary tension and conflict. In a relationship, a square feels like constant resistance, drama, and pushback. It’s exhausting and difficult to navigate, which is why I avoid squares as much as possible.

💚I think it’s important to also look at the aspects and the signs involved. A lot of people might say something like, “Oh, my Venus conjuncts my partner’s Venus!” but overlook the fact that both Venuses are in Gemini. If you’re looking for that romantic, ooey-gooey love story, and your Venuses are conjunct in Gemini, well, it’s not the same as you might expect. Gemini isn’t a traditionally romantic sign. It’s a sign that focuses on duality, intellect, versatility, creativity, and sociability—it’s not centered on romance.If your Venus is conjunct someone else’s Venus, but it’s in a sign that values intellect and versatility over deep emotional connection, what does that mean for your relationship? And more importantly, is that what you want in a relationship? That’s why I don’t place a lot of weight on conjunctions alone. For instance, if your Venus is conjunct someone else’s Venus in Pisces or Cancer, that’s different because those are more emotionally-centered, romantic signs. But if your Venus is conjunct in Aquarius, for example, Aquarius represents innovation, progressiveness, and community. Sure, you both might value free thinking, but that doesn’t necessarily translate to romance.When analyzing a chart, you need to consider the signs, not just the aspects like conjunctions, trines, or sextiles. The signs tell you how the energy of the aspect will manifest. Otherwise, you might enter a relationship thinking, “We have so many romantic aspects!” only to realize that they’re not as romantic as you thought when you dig deeper. For example, let’s say your Mercury is in Aries and your partner’s Mercury is in Libra. This creates an opposition. You might immediately think, “Oh no, we’re going to argue all the time.” And yes, that can be true. Most people don’t know how to navigate relationships, whether interpersonal or romantic, in a healthy way. Many people are still maturing, learning, and, honestly, in need of therapy. So yes, even a single opposition can create tension in your relationship because as a species, we’re not always emotionally evolved enough to handle relationships harmoniously from the start.If you’re naturally fast to speak and your partner is slow and methodical, that opposition will come up again and again in conversations. It’s inevitable. But that doesn’t mean the relationship is doomed—it just means that oppositions highlight areas where growth and compromise are necessary. Relationships are part of our evolutionary process, and most of what we learn about ourselves happens through those challenges. That’s why I don’t believe in a perfect synastry chart. Do I think there are synastry charts that favor romance and foster loving, emotionally deep, and physically intimate relationships? Absolutely. But people often romanticize aspects like “His Venus conjuncts my Venus—he’s my soulmate!” without considering the nuances. For example, if both Venuses are in Leo, you might struggle with pride and ego clashes, constantly feeling like the other person is wrong and you’re right. That kind of energy requires work and self-awareness.In synastry, it’s crucial to acknowledge that as humans, we’re still evolving emotionally. Relationships will inevitably reflect tricky elements from the chart. And no matter how many positive aspects exist, challenging ones like oppositions will have an impact. It’s up to us to decide whether we’re willing to grow through those challenges or not.

💘 Lastly, some people’s charts simply aren’t geared toward romance, so their relationships are going to look a bit different. For instance, there are people with very heavy Earth charts. Earth energy is practical and focused on everyday life, routine, work, and responsibilities—it’s not naturally inclined toward romance. The same applies to Air signs. Air signs prioritize intellect, communication, and social connections over traditional romantic gestures. In contrast, Fire and Water signs tend to be more romantic, at least from my perspective. People with strong Fire and Water placements crave romance. They want the cheesy, heartfelt gestures. They’re drawn to passion, intimacy, and the idea of partnership. Fire and Water individuals often seek traditional or deeply emotional connections. On the other hand, someone with a heavy Air chart might not want a traditional relationship. They may prefer a bond centered on intellectual connection or friendship rather than emotional depth or physical closeness. Similarly, someone with a heavy Earth chart may desire a relationship but also value personal space. They might not be interested in moving in together or merging every aspect of their lives.

💛This is why it’s so important to understand both your own needs and the needs of the other person. For example, I have a water-based chart, so I need that emotional connection. I also have a fire influence, which means I crave passion and excitement. Not everyone is going to need or value the same things in a relationship. Before diving into synastry, it’s helpful to ask the other person questions like:

• Do you care about romance?

• How do you feel about commitment?

• Do you want to get married someday?

• Are you looking for a soulmate?

• How deep do you want love to be in your life?

• In friendships, what do you value most? Hobbies? Going to events? Daily conversations?

These questions can reveal a lot about someone’s priorities and expectations. When you pair that with synastry, it becomes easier to see how a relationship might play out. Sometimes, what people call “unrequited love” is just a mismatch in romantic inclinations. For instance, there’s this growing sentiment that men aren’t courting women as much anymore, but I think a lot of men just aren’t naturally romantic. These might be men who don’t see the value in grand gestures like flowers or serenades. Instead, they express commitment by simply being present or spending time together—but they’re not especially affectionate or expressive. Looking at a person’s chart can give insight into this. If you’re dating someone with the Moon in Aquarius, can you really expect the same level of romanticism as someone with a Moon in Pisces? Or if someone has a Pisces rising, they may approach love with sensitivity and idealism, whereas a Capricorn rising might prioritize pragmatism and stability over emotional expression.I once knew someone who valued friendships far more than romantic relationships. He was mainly interested in physical intimacy and wasn’t emotionally invested in long-term commitments. Understanding these differences is crucial when dating. You need to ask yourself:

• Am I okay with someone who’s more focused on casual connections?

• Or am I looking for a deep, long-term commitment?

Thank you for viewing my post💛👋

[pushspacetocontinue]

"I thought as much," Leofric said, although it didn't seem like he was going to tell Lucien off, "But I am glad you were able to get here safely at least."

"You'll have to teach me how to do that," Bill said, with a grin as he eyed the vent himself, "Impressive."

"I will see what I can do," Leofric said, "Conventional gas masks may provide protection, but it might not hurt to see what I can add to that."

Russell gave Lucien a small smile on seeing him. As much as he was concerned about him leaving the safety of the apartment (and felt guilty for causing him to worry enough to leave it), it was still nice to see him.

"Urf... r-right," Russell only replied. He clearly didn't approve of the idea of not having his beloved coffee, but he was hardly in any position to argue.

Bill laughed a little bit. If not for the circumstances, this actually felt kind of nice. Like a family gathering of sorts, trying to work out a problem together, and just sharing a small break from this coming chaos. It seemed that Rook felt the same.

So Russell told how he had ended up in that situation. Of the two men who drove and that annoying gadget user who he described as 'Emperor Kuzco's knockoff cousin'. The context was needed after all. He kept that part brief, mainly because he didn't remember much about that anymore. It hovered on the edges of his memory like a fading dream.

"So, they had me, me in this, this dentist chair, and, and after a while he, he just walked in. He, he acted like, all, all nonchalant, like he, he wasn't worried about me going anywhere. I, I mean, to be fair, I, I was all tied up and I had started to like, um, act like I, I was too scared to do, to do much, and well, just, just look at me. Not all, not all that intimidating, am, am I?"

"Well, I wasn't going to say anything," Bill said, "And then what happened?"

"Indeed, you don't." Lucien stated cooly as he faded into existence. He was hardly recognizable with his hair down and wearing a hoodie, of all things. But that was the best he could do until he could get rid of the sling holding his arm in place.

"Oh, hello, Zartan!" Rook greeted him with a grin, "Where the hell did you come from?"

"The vent." Lucien replied as he stared at Rook, quietly telling her not to say another word on the matter, before turning to Leofric, "That will be fundamental. The balm won't help much if we can't breathe."

He then moved to stand by Russell, as that was the actual reason for his presence there. "No caffeine until you're fully reestablished, okay?"

"It wouldn't be the first time I fall asleep while listening to something."

Though she had a feeling sleep would already come easy once she was exhausted enough now that she knew they were all more or less getting along again. It was a bigger weight off her chest than her bruised ribs healing up, honestly.

Rook smiled, settling back down, "There you go. The family's all reunited."

"Great. We can finally move on to a new topic for our late night chats." Lucien rolled his eyes, looking back to Russell, "I'm quite curious myself. And please, don't spare us the details."

Hopefully, they would be gory.

[aleiiii]

-slides in to the ask box with I.V bag.-

Angst thought of the day for you my friend

How did Na react to Wukong's prison ( that piece of scroll of memory Azure trapped him in ) get sliced in half? With the thought of maybe never being able to get him out again?

And would she insist on going into the scroll with MK and Macaque? And to see him (Wukong) so broken inside as he relives some of his worst mistakes?

hello frosted 🤭

It already worried Nà to death enough knowing he was trapped in the scroll and currently in the grasps of Azure. It was another punch seeing the tablet get sliced. I feel like for everyone there, it felt like a drop in their stomach.

After this, it’s when MK takes this leave, and the others are onto their training arc with master Subodhi. I’ve had the idea that Nà might have some sort of support power (similar to tang), and I believe I might’ve mentioned it in the other angsty posts hehe. BUT taking that time to hone in on her powers, however can’t focus because she’s too entirely focused on never seeing Wukong again. In the training, it might be addressed that her dependence on Wukong is ultimately her downfall, and would only have to trust that they will be able to get him back ( he is Monkey King after all!) Also other tidbit on Nà having to overcome her own issues, her being dependent on Wukong’s attention is what made her happier, but ofc it’s backfired when he’s not around- this coming from her being kind of lonely in her life in Megapolis, away from her family, and not having many friends (yet).

ANYWAYS

we come back to the point where they get the sliced tablet thingy

Definitely a stress crier

And finally her trying to tag along with Mac and MK into the scroll. Macaque would be so very against the idea, it’s far too dangerous and he wouldn’t want to risk putting her in such a predicament. I think it would be funny for Nà to see both of the monkey boys coming back out from the scroll and being nicer (?)to each other. As from the incident with possessed Wukong and LBD would’ve tarnished their relationship just a bit. In the moment where they find Wukong, there’s an understanding between the two that Wukong wants to be better in his ways.

Maybe the three of them from then on out would have a better relationship… maybe learn how to share Nà

[front-facing-pokemon]

[erytherion]

Oldest Dream: arguably could be considered the “end all be all” of TWSA world lines

Han Sooyoung: also arguably the “end all be all” of TWSA world lines

Yoo Joonghyuk: not the “be all” of any of it, he’s just him every time, but without him the other two wouldn’t have been able to be the “be all” that they are, since he is technically the “end all” that came before they could become the “be all”, technically making him the “end all first one”. Do you get me?

[titsthedamnseason]

i reside firmly in camp “jack never really loved parson” not because i can’t critical think or recognize the nuance of canon or anything like that but because i think it’s extremely cunty if kent parson was like a mess over himself confessing his undying love for jack every day in the juniors and jack was high out of his mind just like “k. wanna go practice face offs?”

[aparticularbandit]

Thinking about how Haruhi absolutely screwed over Asakura.

Because like.

Haruhi makes the club. The club goes looking for trouble and finds nothing and also the straws were not in her favor and she didn't get to go looking for trouble with Kyon.

Haruhi gets depressed because nothing has happened in the club in its one week of existence.

Five minutes later, Asakura: Hey. Kyon. Let's play stabby!

One day later, Haruhi: HEY KYON ASAKURA DISAPPEARED YOU AND ME GONNA TEAM UP AND LOOK FOR TROUBLE.

And like. Asakura is stated repeatedly to be the prettiest girl in their class other than maybe Haruhi, and Haruhi can't go after Mikuru because Mikuru's part of her gang.

What I'm saying is Asakura suddenly being stabby is entirely Haruhi's fault.

....

And, as a result, it is highly likely that Yasuke should be concerned.

[inbarfink]

When talking about the distinction between Simon Petrikov and the Ice King,  it’s important to remember that originally, the Crown wasn’t trying to turn Simon into Ice King -

It was trying to turn him into this guy.

At the time, the Ice Crown - or rather the Wishing Crown - was programmed with Gunther’s wish to become Evergreen. So everything related to making the current wearer like Evergreen is a very direct result of the Crown’s Magic. The physical changes -

And the obsession with the name ‘Gunther’ -

And maybe some of the irritability and anger issues -

That is something the Crown is very directly forcing unto its current wielder. 

But everything else?

Ice King, personality-wise, was not much like Evergreen at all, or even like Gunther's view of him. And Ice Finn of the Farmworld Universe was also pretty different from the both of them.

At the time, I remember people assumed Ice Finn’s behavior is more indicative of what the Crown is actually trying to do with its wielders. That Ice King is so different because of Simon’s subconscious resistance against the Crown - while Finn’s much younger and dumber brain is a lot susceptible to the Curse’s influence to become some sort of mad world-conquering emperor of ice and snow. 

But, with the context of the Crown’s actual backstory. That doesn’t seem very likely anymore. I think what’s actually happening there is that the Crown is just trying to make its wielder an Ice Wizard on par with Evergreen (who was the Actual Goddam Ice Elemental) and that means pumping the wielder’s brain so full of Magic, Madness and Sadness to a level that is bound to overwhelm anyone.

And Simon’s and Farmworld Finn’s very different behaviors after putting on the crown is indicative, more than anything, of how their psyche reacts to Madness and Sadness in general. You know, Finn has a very proactive and kinda aggressive personality - and you add Crown-induced-Madness-and-Sadness and a compulsion to use Ice Magic as much as possible and you get all of…. this 

Meanwhile, for Simon, the compulsions of the Crown originally filtered exclusively via the language of protection 

As his madness always manifested as romantic obsession 

And using goofy humor to try and deny the pain he’s going through 

Because that’s how Simon’s mind specifically reacts to being flooded with so much Madness and Sadness.

That’s why there’s so many parallels between Ice King and the sort of mistakes and screwed-up stuff Simon does right now! He’s even kidnapping people again!

Because the Madness and Sadness of Ice King might’ve been induced by the Crown, but now Simon has plenty of personal home-grown Madness and Sadness inside him - and it’s no surprise that Curse-Induced or not, his mind reacts to it in a sorta-similar way. (Although obviously not as intensely, again, there was a LOT of MMS in the Ice Crown).

Now as for Ice Thing, and the fact that he seems to be actually rather well-adjusted under effects of his version of the Wishing Crown. I mean... not by the time of the 1000+ Era, but that’s literally eons in the future and also maybe more Gibbon’s fault. Even if the Crown will eventually take some sort of toll on him, for now he seems to be doing pretty well considering his wish. I mean, there's still some sort of Loss of Identity stuff going on

But everything we've seen of Ice Thing (in the present day, at least) shows him as a friendly and cheerful individual that gets along well with others. A far cry from how maladjusted every single wielder of the Ice Crown acted.

At the very least, if there's any notable amount of Sadness in him, we really haven't seen it yet.

There might be several factors here:

First things first, I should acknowledge the possibility that it’s just that Orgalorg’s eldritch brain is better at intaking all that MMS juice. That could play a part, but I think it’s probably more important, at least thematically, to look at the distinction between ‘I wish to be Evergreen’ and ‘I wish to be Ice King’. 

First in the sense that while Ice King was occasionally mean to Gunter at times - he was generally much kinder than Evergreen ever was for ‘his’ Gunther. So, like, pretty much the one Personality Flaw of Ice King that you can directly link to the Ice Crown’s attempt to mimic Evergreen is the occasional anger issues.

And how they relate to Gunther’s view of Evergreen, so grumpy and controlling and constantly saying ‘NO!’

(Both Finn and Simon’s demonstrable not-crown-induced trauma responses can make them pretty short-tempered as well. So I’m not going to say this is purely the effects of the Crown. It still probably plays some sort of factor at why the wielder of the Ice Crown is Like That).

And that is not a factor in how Gunter views Ice King. For him, Ice King was a doting and loving father figure - so if the Crown was ever trying to implement any sort of specific negative personality traits, this is absolutely no longer a factor. Because the original Ice Crown was a reflection of Evergreen’s abuse, and now Ice Thing is a reflection of Ice King’s fatherly love.

Which is, itself, probably an echo or remnant of Simon’s own strong parental instincts. 

Secondly, while the Crown was trying to make the Ice King just as powerful as Evergreen…. Ice King was obviously not as powerful as Evergreen. Because he was already a second-rate copy of the Ice Elemental’s power, and because Ice King was often just too doofy to use his powers correctly and probably because some remnant of Simon’s original sensible self is subconsciously holding his powers back.

Either way, being ‘like Ice King’ as Gunter sees him requires less Magic than being ‘like Evergreen’ as Gunther saw him - and therefore less Madness and Sadness. Leading to the wearer or, um, the eater being a lot more well-adjusted from the get-go.

And I think that the implication that Ice Thing has fused with the Crown, so there's never going to be another poor sap who puts on the Crown and gets Ice King'd. But if there is one somehow... at least the process is going to be less mentally detrimental that time around?

Maybe one day Simon could look back and appreciate how much he (or Ice King, or both of them, or however you want to look at the situation) is responsible for basically neutralizing the Crown that ruined his life in the first place.

[gojonanami]

❝ 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄, 𝐈𝐍 𝐒𝐋𝐎𝐖 𝐌𝐎𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ! ❞

❝ PROF. GOJO SHOWS YOU JUST HOW THE LAWS OF ATTRACTION WORK !! ❞

✧ pairing: professor!gojo x f!reader (part one of the prof gojo series)

✧ summary: satoru gojo was only stuck at this weeklong conference to appease his new boss, so what happens when he finds you at the bar and can't stop thinking about just how attractive you are? and what happens when the conference is over?

✧ warnings: 18+, nsfw, smut, hooking up at an academic conference, reader is a professor, fingering (f! receiving), oral (m! receiving), gojo getting very horny around you, so much flirting, amateur's take on physics, art by found on Pinterest (pls let me know if you know the og artist)

✧ wc: 10,878

“Come here often?”

If someone had asked Professor Satoru Gojo that a few months ago, he would have said—no he would have scoffed and asked if he looked like a professor who had to beg for funding — and he didn’t. But now, he swirled his drink, ice cubes clinking against the sides of the condensation-ridden glass — who knows?

His new department head might have his termination papers drawn from the moment he returns to the university from his very extended research trip — with no results to show for it. Normally he wouldn’t be worried — not with his renowned academic record, but he had extended this trip twice — and one of those on the university’s payroll.

And it wasn’t a cheap payroll.

To top it off, the new department head was doing a lecture here today at this conference hosted by his university, He had heard the new head was a real hard ass, a person who had straightened out the department while he had been away — garnering more grants, but also cutting funding to continual failures. And he and his research had been asked about.

Fuck. He downed his fruity mocktail, the sweet syrupy fruit juice doing little to soothe the bitter aftertaste of failure that lingered on his tongue.

He usually wouldn’t be so worried. He was Satoru Gojo — he had been the youngest in his field to achieve a Ph.D. in the field of Quantum Physics, a respected expert and renowned lecturer, and one of the scientists most likely to win a Nobel prize within the next few years or so. Or so his biography on LinkedIn said.

But that had gone up in smoke — his research on the potential curvature of quantum space-time as a method to slow or speed up time between two points of matter had been a complete failure.

One of his first major failures.

He sighs, and here he was feeling sorry for himself — alone. Or relatively so. His glass clinked against the sticky bar top of the tacky bar of the hotel they decided to hold this conference in — the rings from long-gone drinks lining up and down the relatively empty bar, other patrons having left for their rooms.

But not you.

He hadn’t met you before — not really. Although it was not as if he had made a habit of befriending people at any academic event, he knew if he had seen your face before, he wouldn’t have forgotten. He stole a glance as he sipped at his drink, eyes flickering over your form as you approached the bar.

Honestly, if he had, he wouldn’t forget someone like you.

He had seen you earlier during the conference, a particularly biting question asked during a keynote presentation that had wiped the obnoxious grin off the pretentious guy’s face, his reply then ripped to shreds in seconds with a smile on your lips.

And you had left so quickly he didn’t get to thank you for your daring rescue of his captive audience as he finally ended his victory lap with a scurry out the door. But maybe now, he could thank you with a drink — eyes flitting to those pretty lips that hid your sharp tongue — or something more.

You order your drink, sitting a stool away, the creak of the rusty seat catching his attention, as your eyes slide to his, “And another of whatever he was having,” Satoru tilts his head as you shrug, “looks like you could use it,”

He gapes at you in mock offense, “Eh? I’ll have you know I’m the most excited person here,” he replies as the bartender places both drinks in front of you, “who wouldn’t be excited to be in some hotel for this prestigious academic conference?”

“Almost every sane person?” and he chuckles, swirling his drink with his straw, “and the good news is that it’s only just begun. We still have the whole week to be bored to tears and have our brains turn to mush when pretending to be interesting to get funding from stingy donors,”

“I don’t need to pretend — I am interesting,” his lips curl, and you snort, downing your drink, before setting it down, ice rattling at the bottom.

“Well, I’ll say your face is more interesting with a smile on it,” you take money from your bag and pay off the tab with a tip.

You’re slipping from the stool with ease, stepping past his stool, nearly brushing against his back, as you make your way out of the bar, and it almost feels as if you're slipping from his fingers, “Is that a compliment?”

You pause, looking back over your shoulder, “You’ll know when I’m complimenting you,” and your smile is far better than his is, a heat settling over his cheeks at the sight of it, “see you around,”

And you’re gone, and he’s left dumbstruck, bitter taste in his mouth slowly beginning to fade — but he knows that the only way it would completely sink into sweetness is if he could have your name roll off his lips — maybe something even sweeter.

He paid for his drink with a tip, sliding off the stool himself, running a hand through his hair.

He could only hope you came here often now.

~~~

It was pathetic how often he had found himself frequenting this bar over the weekend. How frequent? The bartender had learned his name by memory the third time he showed up, his order already known and being prepared by the time he walked in.

So his drink was present — but you weren’t.

He hadn’t seen you around, but he had walked the floors of this conference and hadn’t seen even a glimpse of you. But why was he so desperate for a stranger that he met once? He wasn’t one for people — even from when he was a kid. People always saw him and his intellect as something they could take, they could use — an attraction that he only wished he could repel just as magnets did. He always had been shelved as a commodity in his field, but never trotted out for events because he never wanted to bother kissing up — he was better for a blunt word than mindless dribble.

Fuck him.

And now here he was — possibly at the end of his career and all he could concern himself with was this mystery woman he met at the hotel bar. Maybe because it was easier to think about — motion was the only thing he knew how to keep doing. Easier to keep in motion after a force acts on him than to keep still.

And you were a force.

“Y’know when I asked you if you come here often, I didn’t think I’d have come here to see you again,” the now familiar squeak and groan of the bar stool makes him want to bite his lip, “how long you’ve been here?”

He bites back his own grin, hoping not to look so desperate as he felt — was this a distraction from his own impending problems? Yes. But you were a welcome one.

“One drink, about fifteen minutes,” he replies, “I haven’t seen you around either — get stuck inside a conference room?” And you order your drink, “put it on my tab,” he tells the bartender, and the man nods wordlessly, but adds a raised eyebrow when you’re looking away.

“Something like that,” and you’re wiping the counter with napkins before leaning against it with your arm, “but more like I was always doing something—I’m not one to—“

“Stand still?” you raise an eyebrow, as the bartender sets your drink in front of you, “staying in motion is the only thing I know how to do, especially these days,”

“Staying in motion?” you repeat, and Satoru shakes his head.

“I’m the type to go from thing to thing — my best friend always joked that I was no better than the first law of motion—”

You snort, cracking a smile, “Being in motion is better than being at rest,” you sigh, swirling the liquid in your glass, toying with the straw stirrers in your drink, “it’s easy to get used to stay still once you are,”

“Sounds like you speak from experience,” and you’re sighing, downing the rest of your drink, as the ice clinks against the bottom of the empty glass.

“Ever have a failure that feels so deep it feels like there’s no going back? Not even a failure — just even a gap, and it feels as more time passes, the chasm widens before you and it becomes harder to see yourself making it to the other side,” you order another drink, turning to face him again, “soon you become more preoccupied with the abyss than thinking about how to make it across,”

“If you asked me a few weeks ago, I would have said no, but now,” he sighs, as he asks for a refill himself, “now I’m in that sinking ship with you,”

“Who said I was still there?” you reply and he’s gaping at you, before a laugh escapes your lips, “I got to shore, you will too,”

“And how do you know that?” And you only shrug, a smile on your lips that makes something in his heart stir that hasn’t in far too long.

“You don’t look like the type to drown,” and he tilts his head, “you look like the type who stubbornly figures out to swim, despite the odds,” and he snorts, as his drink is placed in front of him, “so maybe don’t give up so easily, after all the first time is the hardest,”

And he chuckles, “Personal experience?” You shrug, tracing the rim of your glass, “No, I always get what I really want the first time,” as you pause to catch his eye, a smile on your lips.

“And if you don’t?”

“Then I didn’t really want it,” you smile, as you get to your feet, “I have a dinner to get to, but I’ll leave you with this,” you wrote something down on the napkin you had gotten with your drink, folding it and handing it to him.

He takes it, but his eyes remain on you, “You’re always disappearing — want to keep me wanting, Professor?”

“You’d want me anyway,” and Satoru is turning in the stool to watch you walk off, a glimpse of a small smile on your lips, as he looks at the writing on the napkin.

—because he knows you’re right.

~~~

“You want me right, Professor?” you murmured in his ear, hot words said as your warm breath fanned across his skin, but your lips were more sinful than your words — pressing torturously chaste kisses along his jaw, your front pressed to your back, as your hands ghosted along his chest. One of your hands toyed with the top button of his shirt, while the other traced along his collarbone, “you followed me after all.”

And he did, Satoru had caught you by wrist, a graze that had your head flicking back, finding his blue, and your lips curled — and he just knew he was fucked.

He just didn’t know how well.

You had him sat on the couch, back to the armrest, biting back needy noises that he refused to let leave his lips, not yet at least, “Y’know I want you, sweetheart,” a small shiver crawling up his spine as your lips graze the soft skin of his ear, “I’m not exactly playing hard to get by coming up to your room, am I?”

And your hand drags lower, brushing against his growing bulge, a low groan in his chest, “Oh I’d say you’re fairly hard, Toru,” and your forefinger presses teasingly against his clothed slit, “so hard already, wonder what would happen if I got you in my mouth, flicked my tongue over the length, made you moan my name as your cock fucked my throat?” And fuck, maybe he was wrong — maybe your words were worse, his dick twitched against your touch, desperate as he felt for more of your touch, “where’s that mouth of yours now, Satoru?”

And you’re rounding him, guiding his legs so he’s sitting properly on the couch now, feet on the ground, but he certainly wasn’t clear-headed — not when you climbed into his lap. A grunt left his lips, a weight that’s a comfort rather than a burden, something he welcomes because he only needs you closer and closer until there’s no space left between you at all.

“My mouth is desperate to do something other than talk, baby,” and his fingers winding their way through your locks before resting against the nape of your neck, and the other trying to slide down the swell of your hip only for your hand to stop him, “but only if you’ll let me I guess,” his lips curl into a smirk, one that you drag your thumb down.

“I will,” your lips are barely a breath away from his own, noses bumping, as the anticipation grows thicker than honeyed molasses one that seems to consume every one of his thoughts at a snail's pace as he remains stuck on two things — you and your lips, “once I’m done teaching you my lesson,” and your lips brush.

“Sir?” The bill is slapped down in front of him, as he snaps back to reality, the sounds of bar stools thumping against the counter as they are mounted on top jars him, as he shakes himself free from his thoughts, “bar isn’t for sleeping, go to your room,” His cheeks burn.

Satoru pulls several bills out and leaves a generous tip, before sliding off his stool with a shake of his head, and a distinct ache between his thighs, that he quickly hides with his suit coat draped on his arm in front of him.

“Not anything you serve here.”

~~~

You’re like a daydream, Satoru realizes when he’s making his way to the hotel bar again. One that he’s using as a distraction — but a lovely daydream all the same. His conference days are spent waiting for a respite at the bar in the evenings — the only time he felt intellectually stimulated at a mechanically orchestrated event like this.

And one that he couldn’t get out of his head. The daydream he had was so vivid, he could swear it was reality if he hadn’t been so rudely awakened. And right when it was getting to—

Oh, what the fuck was he thinking? He shakes his head as if it would rid his head of his thoughts (it doesn’t).

He ran his fingers through his hair, what was it about you? You were gorgeous, sure, and brilliant enough to match him barb for barb, but you were just —- gravitational. He could feel him pulled in by your orbit and he found himself not resisting your force in the slightest — only hoping to accelerate.

Was this the phenomenon of quantum entanglement? He knew it was true for the tiniest of particles, the very same forces that pulled him close, he knew were pulling you close too — doomed in the same downward spiral without having to spare a glance. But did he?

He didn’t know the first thing about you — he only knew you were someone related to the field of physics — you had to be a professor, far too smart to be a generous donor. He only knew your first name, and you knew the same about him — and there was a part of him that preferred it that way. He had grown used to the attention given to him for simply his name — and he felt as if it was as if he had been placed on a pedestal that no one would dare to climb to speak, but instead only looked up. He almost chuckled at the thought of you ever doing that — but you were more the type to kick the pedestal out from under him, and force him to meet your gaze.

And he much preferred that — and you.

And now, he glances at the bar as it came into view, a double take almost warranted at the sight — was he dreaming again, even before his head had even attempted to hit the pillow? Or was it true that you were sitting at the bar nursing a drink alone? Pretty eyes glancing at the time on your phone and he bit back a smile, stepping towards you — eager remark about how long you’ve been waiting for him? Even though he wasn’t one to talk — as he had spent his whole day waiting for this.

Waiting for you, rather.

He stopped when another man approached you — Satoru paused, and he supposed he had to wait longer. Who was this now? You didn’t seem to know him, leaning away as he stood near you, not too close, but he seemed to be talking shyly, and yet his words never seemed to stop. Even though it seemed you wanted them to.

And when he caught a glimpse of the man’s face, he realized just who the man was.

Well, well — he knew just what to do to get rid of him — appear.

“Hey,” Satoru walked over, leaning on the bar, meeting the man’s gaze with a smile, before his eyes slid back to you, “make a new friend?” He orders his drink with the bartender as he slides his gaze back to the man lingering, whose face had grown both soured and pale all at once.

“Sort of, yes, this is—“

“I actually must go, please excuse me,” the man abruptly says, bowing politely to the two of you before shooting a glare at Satoru before heading off towards the elevators.

“Nice seeing you too, Gege!” Satoru called after him, smirking at the man’s flinch just before he turned the corner, “that guy hates me,” he orders his drink, taking a seat beside you, “don’t know why,”

“I can see that,” you chuckle, glancing back where the man had disappeared off to, “he’s some sort of author?”

Satoru nods, as the bartender places his drink in front of him, “He is — a mangaka fascinated by physics, he pestered me with questions, but he didn’t like when I did the same,”

You snort, only imagining what kinds of questions he had bothered the man with, “You freaked out the freak?”

“Well, he couldn’t match me,” you smirked, as he leaned against the counter, sipping his drink, your head tilting, “can you?”

“We’ll have to find out, won’t we?” you raise an eyebrow, as he grins, “think I’m doing a pretty good job so far,” and you shrug, a wry smile pulling at the corners of your lips as he pouts, “so cruel to treat the man that saved you from an uncomfortable conversation,” and he sighs dramatically, “maybe I’ll call Gege back down,”

You raise an eyebrow, “He wouldn’t come if you called,”

Satoru pauses, “He might if I promised to leave,”

“Is this your way of trying to get me to ask you to stay?” You were far too quick-witted for his own good.

“No this is my way of getting you to tell me that you want me to stay,” but lucky for him, he had the same biting tongue to match.

And you laugh, and he wants nothing more than to make you laugh again and again — a better achievement than any academic accolade that graced his walls, “Well I do owe you one,” you order another round.

“I think I earned more than a round of drinks,” and you raise an eyebrow, as you down the rest of your drink.

“And that is?”

~~~

“When you said we would be doing research, I assumed we would be doing research related to your speciality in physics, not—“

“This is important research,” Satoru led you through the streets, the stuffy halls of the conference growing more distant, “crucial to the furthering of our goals, our destinies,”

Satoru grinned, his smile somehow brighter than the sun itself, and even more obnoxious — but begrudgingly charming. He truly was a paradox incarnate — somehow bright but blinding, sweet but sharp, and enticing yet out of reach. Even more so in the casual white t-shirt and dark blue jeans he had opted for today, sunglasses perched on the tip of his nose as he looked at you over the rim with that irritatingly endearing grin.

And that grin must have been hypnotic because how else would he have convinced you to skip half a day of this week-long conference that you had been preparing for months to attend (that and you had grown tired of simply chugging your drink of choice between workshops and keynotes and skipping almost every meal except for some stale pastries offered at one of a dozen talks).

“And this crucial research is the best sweets shop in the area—“

You snort, as you eye the crowd of people in front of this particular shop, “Because that’s a question the physics community has been pondering — not dark matter or Baryon asymmetry—“

“Well, I know your specialty is astrophysics now,” and you roll your eyes, as his hand finds yours, fingers laced together, as he pulls you into the throng of people in front of the shop, “don’t wanna lose you there,”

“Is that your excuse to hold my hand?” You reply, lips nearly pressed to his ear with how loud it was.

He leans closer, his body pressed against your side, lips brushing your ear, “was I that obvious?” He grins, and pulls away as quickly as he had come, fingers parting yours as you both reach the front of the line. And why was it — your heart sinks ever so slightly at the absence of his warmth — that you mourned his touch as if you’d had it all your life instead of the first time?

“You coming, sweetheart?” and you snap from your thoughts, and follow up to the counter — brushing your thoughts aside as you occupied your head with the sweets in front of you — instead of the man obsessed with them beside you. You realize what he’s said and you’re not one for pet names, but the way it rolls off his tongue and sticks syrupy sweet in your head almost makes you like it

“Noooo, don’t!” You shield your strawberry dessert from his fork, as it prodded gently at the back of your palm, “you already ate so many desserts, why do you want mine?”

You had watched this grown man down half a dozen different cakes, pastries, and cookies — he was a walking advert for what not to do to contract diabetes. For as sharp as his tongue was, you watched him lick a bit of frosting from his lip, it probably tasted twice as sweet.

“Exactly because it’s yours,” he still tried but you caught his fork again with your own, “it’s so much sweeter when you steal it,”

“So we’re adding thievery to your list of crimes,” and he clutches at his chest in mock shock, “theft, harassment—“

He gapes at you, “Eh? When did I harass you?”

“Gege,” and he rolls his eyes.

“He loves me, he lives for me,”

“I think he wishes you would do the exact opposite,” and he pouts only to dart his hand out quick and steal a dollop of the airy frosting from the top of the cake on his form, he grins in victory, but you only lean forward, grabbing at his hand and lick it from his fork, “you’re right, it is sweeter, when you steal it,”

His eyes find yours and fuck, your heart nearly contused itself against your ribs, what was it about him that made you never want to look away? It was a game of chicken for you — stare until the other flinches, because then you could see them and they would never see you — and you had never lost—but he made you want to lose. But you also couldn’t bear to look away all the same.

“Suppose that was my first lesson for you, sweetheart,” and that sweetness seems to stick with you, the pet names growing on you.

“You do have a way of making me look at things at a different angle,” you admit, and you wonder why a man like this was so lost as he seemed — he was definitely seen, wherever he went, but never understood, “is that a talent of yours?”

“I tend to do my best with my back against the wall,” and you can’t help but imagine how he’d look with his back to a wall — it’s not a bad image.

Your lips curl, “I bet you do,” and you continue walking off, taking another bite of your cake, not noticing the way his eyes watched you — the same way you had.

~~~

“I can’t believe you don’t trust me to choose a place for dinner,” Satoru sighs, as the two of them are seated at the bar for dinner, the tables all full for the night, “I could have found us a place that would have given us an actual table,”

“For all I know, you would have somehow found a place that only serves dessert,” he scoffs, and the two of you order your drinks, as the waiter parts to bring your orders, “Don’t scoff at me, I know you probably know at least one place, if not ten,”

“I don’t know—” and you tilt your head, eyebrow raised, and he shrugs, a small smile pulling at his lips, “none of them are in the area, but there is a good ice cream place—”

You snort, not glancing up from perusing the menu, as the waiter brings over your drinks, and the two of you order — and to your surprise, he orders something savory and not sweet, “Surprised you didn’t ask for the dessert menu first,”

“Well, I do like to take my time, after all,” his lips curl into a small grin, as he lifts his glass to his pretty lips, “dessert is better when you’re patient,”

Oh? Oh.

“You don’t look like the type that’s used to waiting for what he wants,”

“You keep saying I look like this or that, screw that,” he leans back in his chair, “I can wait for the things I really want — and I always get what I want, sweetheart,”

You were toeing a line you shouldn’t be toeing — it was Schrodinger’s cat, and a box you shouldn’t look inside — because until you did, there was always a chance the cat was alive, and there was always a chance that this wouldn’t be a mistake — but once you opened it — there was no going back. But still — the words are pulled from your mouth as if you had no choice, the box tipping open of its own accord.

“And what is it that you—”

“Huh? Gojo?” your eyes snap over to a woman — a far too gorgeous woman, in a long black dress that floated down to her ankles, her black heels clicking against the wood of the floor of the restaurant, her silver hair in a tight high ponytail, bangs framing her face.

“Mei Mei,” his attention falls to her, and you’re left sitting, fully out of the loop and completely irritated, but you didn’t know why, “I didn’t know you were in town,”

“For good reason, then you might have a reason to avoid me,” Mei Mei smiles, “I saw Geto recently. He told me you were coming back soon from your sabbatical,” and you see a flicker of emotion cross his expression and disappear as quickly as it appeared, “and who’s this?”

You offer your hand and introduce yourself, “And are you a professor as well?”

“No, I’m a donor,” and you nod, “and what do you—” but then her friend is calling her back, her head turning.

“I should go back to my party, it was nice to meet you,” Mei Mei offers a smile before her gaze slithers its way back to Satoru, “I’m sure we’ll be speaking soon, Satoru. Let me know about that night out we had discussed.” Her fingers brush his shoulder, giving you a wry smile before slipping off.

And a sinking feeling settles over you — as he waves at her — a night out? Was this all this was? Another night out?

And your skin crawls as she walks off, Satoru turning back to look at you, your lips a thin line as you force your gaze back to his, “What were you saying again? And the waiter comes soon enough with your meals, placing them in front of them.

“Nothing,” your lips curl, perhaps this box was better left unopened, “nothing at all.”

~~~

“What’s wrong?” This was why Satoru didn’t care to get invested in others. When he couldn’t make heads or tails of himself — they expected him to make heads and tails of them. It was easier to write people off, put distance between him and them, than it was to draw close. He was used to too many being far too close, gawking as if he were an illustrious painting, unable to make out a single brushstroke much less who he was. But he never cared to explain or have anyone understand and he paid others the same courtesy.

Except you.

“I told you, nothing,” you sighed as you and Satoru made your way back to the hotel that was hosting the conference, “it’s just been a long day,”

And he could let this go, fall silent with a sharp remark that would only push you away, the same distance but eons further than you had ever been — a space-time curvature of his own making.

“You’re a terrible liar,” but he doesn’t.

“Well, my specialty isn’t lying I guess,” you snap, scrubbing a hand down your face, “sorry, I—“

“What do you think I lied about?” and you pause, as the two of you stand a few feet from the hotel, people filing in and out of the structure as bellmen and cars pull up to help them in and out of their cars, “about my brilliance? I know it can be hard to believe how someone can be so handsome and—“ you glare at him, and he sighs, “c’mon sweetheart, just tell me—“

“Who is Mei Mei to you?” your question surprises him, but seems to surprise you more, words falling from your lips without a first thought, much less a first, “I-I mean, uh—“

And he can’t help the grin that spreads over his lips — “I didn’t take you for the jealous type, sweetheart,” and your words failed you for once, “or maybe I should be calling you, Princess, because being jealous isn’t usually so sweet,”

“Satoru—“

“Except maybe when it’s you,” he takes a step forward, and fuck, you look so cute like this — your eyes unable to meet his with the usual defiance or smugness, teeth baring down on his bottom lip, “think you’d be sweet no matter what you do,”

“I’m not jealous—“

“Uh-huh,” he smirks, “Mei Mei is just an old friend and tycoon of business — and she tends to have a night out to discuss opportunities and investment into education for a mutual benefit—“

“She wants a tax break?” And he nods, but your brow furrows, “then what was with the shoulder touch?”

“The shoulder touch?” and you click your tongue.

“She touched your shoulder, intimately,” and he raises an eyebrow, “it was! It was like this,” your fingers gesture over his shoulder, your thumb barely grazing over his shoulder blade.

He tilts his head, “That’s what you consider intimate?”

“Yes! Like,” you step forward, and he refuses to let his breath catch, but your perfume floods his senses, fingers nearly twitching to touch you — but he can’t, yet that makes it all the more tempting. Your fingers ghost over his shoulder, featherlike almost, and heat floods his body as if it’s his first time being touched by another — and it wasn’t, but it was his first time being touched by you.

“Like this,” and your words warm his skin, and it would be so easy to touch you — give you a taste of intimacy, and show that the only touch he craved was your own.

“I think I missed it, could you show me again?” he can’t help but tease when it’s so easy to do when you’re like this, “aw, come on, Professor, isn’t this supposed to be a hands-on lesson?”

Your body is far too close, yet too far all the same — had you managed to create the very phenomenon he had failed to study?

Your eyes finally found his, a spark of want that was only another match struck for the kindling, and your fingers drifted to his cheek. And he couldn’t help but lean into your touch, flames licking at his skin, but it was a burn he wanted more of, one he wished could consume him.

He leaned closer—until a group of people passing by, rowdy and drunk, made you flinch apart. And the moment was broken, flames extinguished—“I should go,” you murmur, and he nods, both of you taking a step back, “but if you’re not too busy falling asleep at keynotes, come to room 188 at 11:00 AM — I’m on a panel,”

“And you want me to come ask all the hard questions?” A smile graces your pretty lips, one he wishes he could memorize and map with his fingers — because it’s your smile and he’s the one who made you smile like that.

“I expect nothing less,” you turn to go inside as he calls after you.

“Was that a compliment?” and you cast a gaze over your shoulder yet again.

“Like I said, if and when I compliment you, you won’t need to ask that, Professor,” and with a flash of your smile, you were gone, and he was left outside in the humid air of the summer and the distinct sounds of cicadas and faint laughter and chatter of people outside the hotel. His fingers brushed against his shoulder, the ghost of your lingering touch still haunting him in the best way.

The flames were out, but the spark was still there — and that’s all you both needed.

For now.

~~

Fuck, he was late — and this time not on purpose.

Usually there was nothing more Satoru would like than to be late for a moderated panel — it was an excuse to skip altogether, to get lunch, a treat, a drink — anything other than sit through another session of educators and researchers alike stroking their own egos. But this was different.

It was for you.

He tugged off his crooked and badly tied tie and stuffed it in his pocket, sprinting to the conference room where you said you would be doing the panel. He had to oversleep — but it really was your fault. He couldn’t get to sleep, not after last night. The scent of your perfume still clung to him tauntingly, the phantom of your touch still haunted him, and the sight of your smile etched onto his eyelids each time he closed them.

He was so fucking screwed.

He wasn’t the time for sentimental bullshit. No, the world had bullied that deep inside of him, softness only reserved for the few friends he had and his students. But you had ripped it all to the surface. And now he was stuck moving at the same pace you were — a quantum coupling without the couple.

He gets to the door and he bursts in, a dramatic entrance much too loud for a conference. The room fell pindrop silence as all eyes stared at him. But his eyes, flitting like comets, finding their landing with you, and he would burn up in your atmosphere all the same with the glare on your face.

“Sorry, got a little lost,” he offers a small smile, before taking his seat, his eyes unwavering from you.

The moderator clears his throat, turning his nose up at Satoru, “Well, let us continue,” he turns to you, “you were saying, Doctor?”

Oh, a doctor.

He leans back in his chair, how was it you got so much hotter? If that was possible somehow.

“I was explaining our current understanding of Hawking radiation, the theoretical thermal black-body radiation that releases out a black hole and its theorized to cause black hole evaporation,” and yet as you spoke, he felt himself grow hot, a slight flush settling over his cheeks — he was right when he guessed astrophysics was your specialty. And he should have known you would have been an expert while he was at it — how could you not be? Even now your lips and tongue formed sentences he could only dream of making, and he did dream of your lips before.

“There are many unknowns about quantum fields and electromagnetism, especially regarding black holes in particular — one of the counters to electromagnetism—” the other speakers go on to interject and bristle at one another, but Satoru barely hears any of it all — too preoccupied with you.

You were far too pretty for your own good — how was no one else completely distracted, shifting in his seat as he carefully adjusted himself — and turned on.

“And now we open it up to the audience,”

The first few questions are fielded by the others and then the one of the last questions is for you. A person stands from the audience, fiddling with the question card they had in their hand, “when you were speaking about electromagneticism, you said there are many mysteries still — there is a theory called the law of attraction,” there’s a few distinct murmurs and even a few chuckles, but even so Satoru still finds himself looking at you, “they say the energy you put out into the world is electromagnetic waves, and when that interacts with the quantum field, which helps you attract what you’re looking for, what do you think of this theory?”

And for the first time, your eyes find his, the corner of your lips tugging upwards, before your gaze settles back on the audience.

“I don’t think there’s anything in physics that can explain what brings something or someone into your life,” you lean back in your chair, “if it were that simple, I think a lot more physicists wouldn’t be married to their labs,” Satoru snorts, and you garner a few chuckles from the audience, “but although all that stuff about quantum fields and electromagnetic waves isn’t rooted in physics, I think there’s something to figuring out what you want and letting yourself have it,” and he found your eyes on him again, and he wondered if he could let himself have you — even if he felt like he didn’t quite deserve you.

And his phone buzzed in his pocket, he glanced at the name and groaned — why was Ijichi calling him now? He lets it go to voicemail, but then messages come through.

Four-Eyed Annoyance: please reply. I have some news for you about the department head.

He bites his lip, but hauls himself to his feet, slipping out right as the panel wraps up. He presses the callback button and grumbles as Ijichi picks up, “this better be good or I’ll slap the shit out of you when I get back—“

“Huh?” Ijichi cried, aghast, “you told me to call once I had news,” and Satoru groaned.

“Just spit it out,” he sighed, rubbing his head.

“The department head said they would like to see you attend the mixer for professors in the department — a chance to meet you more informally — it’s the day after you return,” and Satoru scrubbed a hand down his face, and a chance to grill him about his failed research, “I thought you should know so you could prepare—“

He spots you disappearing around the corner, and hes curses under his breath, “Ijichi, you’re in for a serious slap later,” and the man doesn’t have time to react before Satoru cuts the phone. Great, not only was his career definitely in jeopardy, without a buffer to bullshit, but now — he rounds the corner, following after you, but in the throngs of people he doesn’t see you — he had lost you.

He shoves his phone back in his pocket. Not that he really deserved you.

~~~

Satoru doesn’t see you for the rest of the day — he didn’t know how long he spent waiting for you at the bar, About how long it takes him for the bar to close his tab and the bartender to shoo him away, until he meanders back to his room. Were you upset? You had noticed he came in late and then he left before it was over—and now he hadn’t seen you. And he couldn’t even ask you because he hasn’t seen you and he doesn’t even have your number—

Because he was an idiot, who wanted to play coy, instead of being direct.

He strips off his shirt, undoing the buttons one by one, a heavy sigh caught in his throat, as he tosses the button down onto the desk chair nearby, knocking over his bag and spilling papers onto the floor.

Great. Was this supposed to be some grand metaphor for his life? He knelt down to collect them, maybe he should call Suguru and have him give him some philosophy bullshit to make him feel better. He picked up something scrunched underneath the papers, and it was a napkin — but not just a used one.

Well not exactly.

One free pass to take what you want.

He snorts at your scrawled handwriting — for how perfect he thought you were, your handwriting certainly wasn’t.

He continues to pick up the rest of the things scattered on the ground until he finds the cover sheet for his research. Messy doodles littered the sheet — ones he had messily scratched in frustration — including one of his own face breathing fire.

He presses his hand to his lips, how was he going to turn this into something remotely useable? The basis of research was that most of it never leads to great revelations or huge discoveries — it was a domino effect of building upon other research and one study tips it over. And research was also about framing — about seeing what was there and making something of it.

He was flipping through his research — and he pauses at a particular page that had the tables of his research, the one he had ruminated over for nights and days, but now — it seemed far less daunting.

You do have a way of making me look at things from a different angle.

Your words fill his ear, as if you were there whispering it to him — a different angle. He pulls his laptop out and gathers the papers in his hands before he pockets the napkin you had written on.

Maybe that’s just what he needed.

~~~

You had avoided him.

It was so fucking embarrassing. What were you? A rejected teenager hiding from her crush? And you down another drink at the bar, the alcohol burning down your throat as if it could erode away the words you had said during the panel.

But it couldn’t.

It shouldn’t have happened. The moment the night before, with his lips a breath away that hung like a promise in the air — if magnetism existed between two people, it was in that moment — because you never felt so drawn to someone, as if there were actual magnets between you both. But as much as magnets attract, they could also repel just as well.

And you supposed, as you swirled the bits of your drink with your ice melting at the bottom of the glass, that was what had inspired him to run after your little show. You hated being a fool — but you hated not taking a risk more — you drank the rest of the watered-down drink before setting the glass down — so you had made the right decision.

So, why did you still feel like shit? You hiccuped slightly, the buzz now settling into a haze over your head, clear thoughts lost in a slight fog.

It might be the alcohol.

But even so you ordered another drink, pushing the empty one forward, avoiding the bartender’s dubious gaze. What was it about this man?

You didn’t know the first thing about him — aside from the fact he was a professor, just as you were, and his first name was Satoru—and fuck, you didn’t even catch his last name. But you knew how his lips curled into a smile that was far too infectious, that he was flippant to a fault but he only used it to hide his vulnerabilities, and that for someone so intelligent and knew of his own abilities — he found his own failures and shortcomings unforgivable.

But you wanted to forgive all the same — even now.

Even after not seeing him, and avoiding this very bar like the plague for the last day and a half. But now, it was the last night of the conference, and you don’t know what possessed you to be here — but you did — it was him.

“Come here often?” your eyes don’t need to look up from the drink placed in front of you by the bartender to know who it is, “let me have what she’s having,”

You raise an eyebrow, “This isn’t the fruity mocktail you prefer,” and he slips into the stool beside you, his arm brushing your own, as the bartender heaves a sigh at the sight of you two, “think you can handle it?”

“Well even if I can’t, I have you to take care of me, don’t I?” and you snort, licking the salt rim of your glass, before washing it down with the drink, “c’mon sweetheart, I thought you were opening yourself up to me,” and you choke on it, a distinct heat settling over your cheeks and it wasn’t from the liquor.

You choose your words carefully, as you wipe your mouth with a napkin, “I did, but that was before someone ran out,” and you wish your words significantly less slurred.

He bites his lip, “would you believe that it was a life threatening emergency and only I, Satoru—“ and you cut him off with a glare, and he sighs, “I’m sorry, I got tied up on a call and by the time I had finished, you were gone,”

“And here I thought my little soliloquy scared you off,” you mutter, “but a phone call? Was it a life threatening emergency?” The bartender comes with two drinks for the both of you.

“Not exactly, it was about my research. Found out my department head wants to meet with me right when I get back,” but his lips were curled in a smile, until he lifted his drink to his lips and took a sip, a grimace replacing it.

“You don’t seem like you’re dreading it anymore,” you sip your own drink, pressing the cool glass to your too-hot cheeks, alcohol roasting you from the inside out.

“Well, someone said I had a knack for looking at things from a unique angle,” he gives you a grin, “so I just did what I did best,”

“I see that ego of yours has recovered,” and his gaze catches yours, “I’m glad this conference was good for something at least,”

“I don’t think that’s all it was good for,” and your eyes can’t pull away from his — a current that sparked between your gazes that only wished to pull you closer than further apart, “you’re selling it short — moderated panels, the workshops, the stale coffee, the networking opportunities,” and his fingers brushed yours, “what’s not to love?”

And any sluggishness from your intoxication is chased away by his touch, a live wire pressed to your skin, “Networking?” You repeat, the warm brush of his fingers against your skin feather-like, “what chances have you had to network?”

He decides to down his drink, a flinch as he swallows, “Not many, well, not many that hadn’t ended without people glaring or fleeing,” you snort, but still liking his thumb rubs across the length of your knuckles, “but the ones that went well have been more than satisfactory,” your eyes flit to his hand and then to his lips, before settling to his gaze.

“And you’re satisfied? With the conference?” you add, and it’s a dangerous game to play, fingers curling around his as if by instinct, a current completed by its circuit, and you were needlessly addicted to the feeling.

He hums, in mock contemplation, as he leans closer, until your knees brush, “Not completely, but that’s because I don’t think I’ve taken what I want yet,” and he pulls a napkin from his pocket, handing it to you, and you see your words scribbled on there.

And you know it’s already far too late for you.

You’re close. Too close — as you can see the specks of dark blue that you could map like constellations in his eyes and you were sure his cologne was melting every brain cell that told you this was a bad idea, and leaving only behind need — but still you spoke.

Your fingers brushed his as you took the napkin, next words far too breathless for your own good, as if the spark between you had caught fire from your touch and sucked the oxygen from your little bubble — and you were just waiting for it to burst.

But it didn’t. Instead, he leaned closer, a breath away, fingers cupping your cheek, “can I?” And you nod nearly out of reflex, and he kisses you — despite the alcohol, you can taste the hint of sugar from the sweets he undoubtedly had before. It’s chaste and much too brief, but you two fall into a second as if it’s second nature.

“Well, are you going to take it?”

~~

“This is a such a fucking bad idea,” you manage to huff out right as the elevator doors close, but not before Satoru has you pressed to the mirrored wall of the elevator, “we shouldn’t do this—“

But all the same, your hand cupped his cheek, mapping the contours and curves of his jaw until it melted into his hairline, fingers running through his soft white locks with reverence, and his cheeks are flushed red, and even warmer than they look, “did one drink affect you this much?” you chuckle, and he pouts, drawing a full laugh from your lips, “oh this is definitely a bad idea,” not only because both of you were drunk, but he was far too cute to resist.

His eyes flutter close for a moment at the sensation of your touch, lips parted as he relished in your touch — and when had he been touched so softly before? Your noses bump, as the heat is engulfed in honey for a moment, caught between breaths.

“I have nothing but good ideas, Princess,” his nose brushes your cheek, as he inhales — fuck, how did you smell like everything sweet, even after a full day of conferences and two hours at a rundown hotel bar, “you may be my best one yet.”

“Flattery, Professor?” And his lips dare closer to yours again, as the elevator finally reached his floor, “you’ll have to do better than that,”

And as he steps forward out the elevator, fingers finding yours, he grins, cheeks warm from intoxication — and whether that’s the alcohol or you is a mystery. “Y’know I’d do just about anything for you, sweetheart.”

You follow him out, as he leads you to his room, tugging you along as your lips curl, “Anything?”

He catches a glimpse at the wicked curve of your lips as you grin while he unlocks the door, that curve soon pressed against his neck, and he knew he wanted nothing more than to be pulled into your orbit — because there isn’t a thing you could do to repel him.

“This isn’t—“ Satoru bites his lip, as he watches you sink to your knees, a shaky gasp parting those same lips, spit slick from your kiss, as you dragged your thumb down the kiss-ruined flesh, “what I had in mind when you said anything,” his words are slurred, and you’re seeing the glow settle over his cheeks, making you only want to litter the red flush with kisses.

“I see why you don’t drink often if one drink does this to you,” your nose bumps against his, “we don’t have to do this if you’re—“

“I’m fine, I promise,” he cuts you off gently, his fingers closing around your wrist, before bringing your hand against his cheek, “I don’t want to stop, please,” and your thumb rubs along his cheekbone, “do you need me to solve an equation? Motion? Velocity? Force?”

You snort, your fingers ghosting over his jaw, “There’s something else I’d rather do,” and you undo the button of his slacks, “or someone,” and his lips curl — which only makes you want to wipe it off his face, until his lips are only parted with your name on his tongue.

You had stripped him down to his boxers, every button of his shirt undone painfully slow, as your fingers ghosted up and down every inch of exposed skin, “such a good boy, Satoru,” you had murmured, as you finally had reached the last button of his shirt, choosing to kiss your way up his stomach and chest — and fuck, it was hard enough not to blow his load then and there, “gonna make you feel good, baby,” your hand slid up his body, dragging over his chest, and onto his cheek until sliding into his hair again, tangling in the locks before you tugged, hard, drawing a pretty gasp from his lips and sending a wave of heat throbbing between his thighs, “but not before you earn it,”

You take a step back, his hands twitching as they reach for you, “Just watch,” You strip slowly, your jacket already tossed aside, as you undo the buttons of your blouse torturously slow, as your lips curl at the sight of his pout.

Muscles winded and tense like a spring ready to snap at your word, but you didn’t let him, and when you step out of your slacks, his boxers strained against his erection, a dark patch over taut pulled fabric, “look at you, I’ve barely touched you, and you’re already about to rip through your boxers?” You click your tongue.

And your careful steps back to the bed have him swallowing thickly, resisting the urge to bite his lip as he watches you, “Please,” he’s murmuring, “please, baby,”

God, he looks too fucking pretty begging, and you were only that much sure he would look prettier with tears in those eyes of his, whimpers and moans parting those pretty pink lips.

“Please what?” you leaned closer, your knees pressing his legs apart, brushing against his inner thighs, teasingly close to where he wanted them most, “gonna have to use some of those big words you got your degrees with, Satoru,”

Your knee grazes his clothed bulge, “Fuck—“ your fingers find his undercut with ease, nails grazing the nape of his neck as you did, a delicious shiver running up his spine. He was so sensitive for all the bravado he had — for how intelligent he was, how high he held himself, it only took a few of your touches to reduce him to this.

And fuck, it was so hot.

“Not that word,” your hand draws up and down his thigh, tracing the muscle, before drawing a path over the elastic of his boxers, “tell me what you want — my fingers? My mouth?” Your fingers dip inside his boxers only to snap the fabric against his skin, earning a sharp hiss and a jerk of his hips.

His eyes flicker up to your lips, and you know what he wants, but you’re still waiting to hear the words, “your mouth,” and you tilt your head expectantly, “please,”

“Good boy,” you don’t miss the way his dick twitches at the praise, as your fingers tug his boxers down, pooling around his ankles. His cock slaps against his stomach, pretty precum dripping down his length — and how’s it possibly that his dick is as gorgeous as the rest of him? Pretty red tip that melted into a blush pink length, lovely veins that wrapped around as if it was made just for you. And you didn’t believe in the law of attraction — but you knew you’d welcome his dick inside you anytime.

You sink to your knees, and the sight must be pretty by the way his gaze grows dark, “Like the idea of me on my knees for you?”

“Can’t I like the idea of using that smart mouth for something other than a verbal lashing, sweetheart?” And your tongue darts out to lick the precum from his tweeting tip, making his head loll back.

“You can,” and your fingers ghost over his balls, “but don’t forget who’s in control, Satoru,”

You press a kiss to his slit, before letting the length slap on your tongue. And already his chest is already heaving, as your fingers curl around the base, slowly pumping and smearing precum along his dick. You hear the crumple of the sheets as he grasps at them.

“You’re so fucking big — can’t wait to feel you inside me, g’nna feel s’good,” and a pretty moan parts his lips, hips bucking into your touch, boneless nearly, as you watch his precum slip down your fingers and wrist, “does it feel that good?” your teasing only draws a pout to his lips that’s quickly fading into another moan as you thumb at his slit, making him whine, “so fucking whiny,” you goaded, but no snark can find it’s way from his lips.

“F-fuck, sweetheart, can you blame me?” And your lips curl, as his tip bumps against your lips, dragging precum along them, “you’re gonna be the death of me,”

“And you’d thank me for it,” and you finally let his cock slip past your lips, and his mouth falls open, muscles tense as he feels his length settle along your tongue, until it’s tracing up the bottom, flicking against the tip.

“F-fuck, baby, you take me so well,” and you do, so fuckinh pretty as your head bobs along his length, messily sucking and licking, cock growing impossibly larger, just as his tip grazes your throat, “shit, ngh,” and he’s threading his fingers into your locks, beginning to buck his hips so that his swollen tip bumps against your throat, even deeper.

His lewd groans send a wave of head straight to your needy core, and you can’t wait, a hand slipping up to grasp at his waist, but the other slips into your panties and your fingers brush against your drenched folds.

You’re a fucking vision when he glances down to watch his white pubes brush against your face, half spit and half pre dribbling from the corner of your mouth. He’s practically fucking your mouth at this point, tears slipping down your cheeks, he’s not sure if he’s drunk from the alcohol or from his cock anymore. And when he sees your fingers buried in your cunt, fucking yourself because sucking him off was too much—it was too late.

“F-fuck, not g’nna last much longer, need—“ but that only makes you suck around his length, letting his tip hit your throat, and his nails dig into your scalp, as he finally cums, hard, your name on his lips. Thick ropes of his cum paints your mouth, hot release burning down your throat. You swallow every drop, relishing in the soft groan of your name that leaves his lips, enough for you to hit your sweet spot with your three fingers stuffed in your cunt before cumming.

You’re panting around his cock nearly as you pull your mouth off, strings of spit and cum stick to your lips and his dick, as you hear the creak of the mattress as he lies back against the bed, probably too fucked out to think. And you’re getting to shaky feet after easing your fingers out, ready to have him taste your own juices. But no, you can’t.

He was too fucked out to be conscious.

“Satoru?” You asked slowly, but you were only met with soft snores and the easy rise and fall of his chest that told you he was asleep.

Well fuck.

~~~~

Satoru never drank. And it was for good reason.

He always felt shitty afterwards. Headaches, nausea, and body aches. And that didn’t account for the side effect that had afflicted him the most — regret. The events of the night flash through his mind, a slideshow movie of the worst kind as he shoots up in bed to find himself alone in bed. He glances around, rest of his body still frozen in place, as if he had stopped moving, you wouldn’t see him.

But no, you wouldn’t see anything — because you weren’t here.

Not a single sign of you. The bedside beside him empty, and no trace of your clothes left behind — you had left. His eyes flickered to the time, 10:00 AM, far too early this morning. But what had you expected? He scrubs a hand down his face, cheeks burning — especially when he had cum down your throat and then had thanked you for it by passing out like a virgin.

And still he woke up hard. He glared down at the erection tenting in the blanket, as if it was the reason for his own downfall, but it didn’t have the courtesy of falling down itself.

Oh, he was never going to live this down.

And then the phone rang, and his heart leaped, likely bumping against his ribcage, as he reached for the hotel phone, wondering if it could possibly be—

“Hello? Is this Mr. Gojo?” The receptionist asks.

No, of course. Perfect.

“Yes, this is him,” he rubbed the sleep from his eyes, this day could only get better, couldn’t it?

“I’m calling to remind you that you had selected the early check out time, and your check out time is in exactly an hour, and we are unable to extend it due to other guest check-ins,”

He shouldn’t have bothered to hope.

A frantic packing job and harried check out, he had slumped in his taxi to the train station. He didn’t even get your number. And he scoffs at the thought, like you’d give it to him after last night. He leans against the cool glass of the window, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. Maybe he shouldn’t have gone to see you that night. Maybe it would have been better to stop. But the two of you were always in motion — night by night rushing by each other, and last night was no different.

But now you both are still in motion — just not together.

And maybe it was better that way. But if so, his eyes open to take in rushing outside, why couldn’t he stop thinking about you?

~~~

Satoru forgot how much he hated this department.

Satoru found himself sipping his drink by the makeshift bar again. He had waded through the questions of the other professors, wanting to know the details of his research. He saw the sharp gazes behind plastered smiles, and they were just hoping to learn something to tell the new department head. But he told them nothing, hiding his smirk behind the rim of his glass at their sour glances. He wouldn’t give them the satisfaction.

And then he spots a familiar figure.

“Oi,” Ijichi tensed at the sound of Satoru’s voice, he makes his way to Satoru’s side, “I thought you said the department head would be here,”

“She’s on her way. She got stuck in a meeting. Haven’t you been checking your email?”

“Who checks their email when they’re away?”

And Ijichi mutters under his breath, “People who are actually responsible,”

Satoru glances at him, “That reminds me, didn’t I owe you a slap?” And Ijichi squeaks in terror, before he takes a step back, as his phone goes off.

“The department head is on her way now,” and Satoru raised an eyebrow.

“Her?” And Ijichi frowned.

“Have you really not checked your email the entire time you’ve been away? The new department head’s name was announced months ago, and she’s sent consistent emails, and Satoru runs his hand through his hair.

“I’ve had all department emails sent to spam,” and Ijichi gapes at him, as Satoru pulls his phone out and opens his spam folder, scrolling through the hundreds of unread emails, “what’s her name?”

And just then the doors open, and he wonders if he’s dreaming, if he’s back in that hotel room again and he would wake up any second beside you.

But he doesn’t, as your eyes find his, stepping through the crowd of other professors, as Ijichi steps forward, “Ma’am, this is—“

“I know,” you smile, before your eyes slide back to his, “come here often?”

And he knew he was far too deep already.

✧ a/n: this took so long to write — I thought I would be done last week but I was not haha. I hope you guys enjoy. there will be a part two! I have plotted out part of it. thank you guys for being so kind :)

✧ taglist: @dazailover1900, @being-me-is-not-a-sin, @satorusmochis, @dreamtardisspace, @mixmatcheds, @kxouri, @kakashineedstotouchgrass, @happystrawberrytyrant, @mynahx3, @destinyrosexoxoxo, @iwannaeatthewolrd, @parkeronii, @nanasukii28, @9419x, @5sos-wdw, @zeee26, @saintlesssaint, @forest-fruits-jam, @cowgirlcujoh, @somrou, @satowooo, @buddhas-bunny, @spider-fan72, @daintyfaintyy, @flyingtranscatofeffed, @nightfloweruponahill, @xxemmarldxx, @hanxyy, @caramelmac-chiato, @faeryli, @penutjuice, @waterfal-ling, @buttercupblu143, @ilikeweedalot, @amy-chaan, @johannakhalafalla, @alexithemiyatic, @theshylittleelfgirl, @kittykattysstuff, @shervinss, @catsgomurp, @notgoodforlife, @anth0nyx, @caelestine-the-caelicatto, @fackeraccount, @fushitoru, @svt-backup, @suguwife, @mua-for-now,

[zickmonkey]

Want to share thoughts but the person I want to shovel them to is off limits rn

[rubys-domain]

so... i think i've achieved consistent one-phase pyro regisvine by leveling up kazuha's burst to 6 and bennett's aquila favonia to 85. which is good. but it can be better. i want to get to the point where popping chongyun's burst is enough to kill it. for now i still have to do some normals and a second pop of his skill in order to kill it