#although the pain and sadness is not as overwhelming as it once was

[helloleed]

+5

[neiptune]

always for the first time

c/w: 1.2k wc, reader is deep in her head, gojo is stupidly in love & wants nothing more than to be the best boyfriend on planet earth, sickeningly sweet, disgustingly self indulgent, inspired by andré breton's poem, wrote this in like 10 minutes, reader discretion advised: you'll drown in fluff

Life has been brutal in teaching Satoru the consequences of not picking up on things in time and with that now comes the anxiety of missing out on hints, small details, imperceptible signals.

He is a good learner, although he wasn’t ready for what you had in store for him. He can be too much, always has been too much, people have told him. Too strong, too loud, too obnoxious, too dumb. He didn’t know how to juggle his worst traits and keep them under control around you, has never wanted not to scare someone away so bad.

Satoru is also, and most importantly, a keen observer.

He has to be, not only to watch his back every now and again but also to pick up on more subtle things that could escape a less trained eye. You are one of those things.

He has studied you, mapped out every twitch of your lips or crease between eyebrows, he has memorized the heaviness of your sighs and which limits it’s best not to push. He knows you need your space and that some people don’t appreciate how overwhelming his interest in them can be. Because what if his insistence ends up crushing them? What if he cares so much you eventually drift away?

So Satoru knows when to keep quiet, when to leave you be or wrap his arms around your waist to bury a gentle kiss in your hair. You have taught him that he doesn’t have to prove his presence all the time, a broken record of I’m here, don’t you know that I’m here for you?

You know. His presence is embedded in every aspect of your life, in every soft thought crossing your mind. He’s there when he lies on top of you in bed, infinity turned off for good measure, cheek pressed to your stomach and arms wrapped around your frame in a petulant attempt to convince you to stay five more minutes. He’s there when he gets back early from a mission and you come home to the tall, familiar figure making a mess of your kitchen. I had half an hour to spare and I thought you’d like soup.

Satoru sees the flow of individual atoms that make you, you. Which means that he knows when you’re in pain, feels your sadness creeping up into his very bones, only experiences true fear the first time you bury your face into his chest and your body shakes in his arms, consumed by the terror of not seeing him again. Satoru is not scared because he thinks the thought of something happening to him is even remotely rational, it’s the thought of leaving you without him for a second too long that petrifies him.

He’s there when he looks at you and sees everything there’s to see, the good and so much of the bad. Satoru has eyes that grant him extraordinary perception and cause a constant, exhausting influx of information. But he can now see you as well as he sees cursed energy: the flux of excitement, sadness, rage or embarrassment. He sees how big your heart is and yet deems it not nearly large enough to contain the love you have for him and for others, threatening to bubble over at all times.

He sees your shame and insecurities and how desperately you attempt to keep those from him. Sometimes he forces himself to respect it, other times it’s hard not to at least attempt to work his charm.

You could get mad but he can’t risk skipping the chance of reminding you once more that he’s there. Just in case. He’s there.

“What’s up?” he asks nonchalantly, nose still buried in that book you couldn’t stop talking about for an entire week.

“Nothing’s up. If something was up, you’d know first” your grin is charming although a little forced and when you go back to the cooking show you’re watching on television, Satoru lets a few seconds pass.

“I think something’s up”

You sigh. He’s not even looking at you but you feel the wary concern vibrating in his voice.

“I’m okay” your own pitch gets softer, a gentle reminder that there’s nothing to really worry about. It’s just that your mind can get very loud at times, but that’s not to become another one of his battles. He has enough of those already.

But that’s when he puts the novel down, a bunch of dried lavender twigs used as a makeshift bookmark.

“I can see that” he knows the punchline will always make you roll your eyes with fondness, especially if he has his blindfold on “your limbs are still attached, your hair looks pretty, skin is fairly hydrated” you huff out a laugh as he crawls over you only to slump his long, inconveniently heavy body on top of yours.

“But something’s wrong” he whispers it into your skin, hopes that it’s easier to get you to open up if you can’t see him and think he can see less of you. His lips are pressed to your neck and snowy hair tickles your chin, so you attempt to comb some of it back with a light scoff.

“You currently obstructing my airways?”

He lightly pinches your side and you squirm underneath his weight with an airy giggle.

“Stop doing that”

“Doing what?” you flick his forehead but he doesn’t even flinch.

“Deflecting. Something’s wrong, I can feel it”

Satoru wishes he didn’t sound every bit as pathetic as he did. But he’s made peace with the fact that this is what love does to him a long time ago. He’s in love, and pathetic, and simply prays it’s one of the times he’s lucky enough you’ll give him the green light to make a breach in the walls.

“You can feel it?” you muse “what are you, obsessed with me or somethin’?”

“I am” he lightly nips at your jaw and draws a gasp “what a stupid question”

As obsessed as an invincible man can be, one that spends each day hoping he’ll be allowed to gain yet another victory over the ache throbbing in your ribcage. What good is being the strongest if he’s barely allowed to shield you from yourself?  

“I’m just tired” you articulate the words slowly, attentively, and your heart swells in your chest when he instantly stills his movements “it’s a tiring day. I’ll be fine”

And Gojo hums against the warmth of your skin, tightens his arms around you. Of course you’ll be fine, he’ll be there to make sure you will be. Not that you need him to fight your battles, you never needed him in the first place.

“Thank you” for making this one of the moments I’m allowed to climb over those walls, even if just to take a small peek.

“You’re so silly” you smile and don’t even understand how the hell someone could get so lucky.

“S’why you love me”

“Wrong, I love you because of your pretty face and remarkable abs”

“I’m more than a nice piece of ass, y’know?”

Another silent laugh fills the air, now lighter, and you can already feel his smile as you gently pull his blindfold down. Satoru lets you, lifts his face to make your job a little easier and when his eyes slowly flutter open there’s nothing but sincere adoration swirling in them. There’s trust, and love, and you can’t help but force them shut again as you gently press your lips to both his eyeslids.

To tell him that you love him with just as much fierceness, with every fragment of your flawed, human body.

To thank him for seeing you with such earth shattering clarity, always for the first time.

[astrolynnworld]

Can I have a Chris fluff where he lifts the readers bump?

baby bump

pairings: chris x reader

summary: your back has been killing your active pregnancy. chris does whatever he can to relive that ache

warnings: fluff, pregnancy, sad thoughts, reassurance, comfort, love

a/n: in this fic, you and chris are already married

word count: 662

it’s been almost 8 months since i found out that chris & i were having a baby girl.

i wanted to do the whole gender reveal theatrics but chris and i both agreed that we did not want to wait.

when we revealed the pregnancy to our family and friends, it was like endless masses of support.

everyone congratulated us, gave us money, sent gifts, and offered endless hours of help.

there are still gifts coming into this day.

although the pregnancy is starting to overwhelm me.

The cravings, the nausea, the headaches, and the pain that finds itself everywhere, especially my back.

it’s so hard for me to do the tasks that I once enjoyed.

I feel bad for chris because a once active wife had probably just become a burden to him.

I hated this thought, but I was left with no other choice when I would see Chris pick up everything that I used to do.

he was switched to start working at home so he could take care of me, our baby, and our home.

tonight I thought I would surprise him by making dinner to reward him for all his generosity and support with our new lifestyle that I was trying to adjusted too.

he had went to the store to go pick up a few items for the house that we have been needing, so i took this moment as an opportunity.

half an hour into cooking, my back starts to ache really badly. i decide to sit because i realize that i had been standing for a while

I take a five minute break, but this does not stop the ache.

I get back up to finish dinner since i had only had a few more steps left to complete in the recipe.

but, as im finishing up i hear keys start to unlock the door along with bags tussling as footsteps enter the house.

“babe?” chris calls out

“im in the kitchen” i respond

he follows the sound of my voice

“babe what are you doing? you’re supposed to be resting.” his voice says laced with concern

“i just wanted to surprise you with someone special. you’ve been doing a lot for me and i want to show you my gratitude” i say back in a soft tone

“baby.. you’re pregnant with our kid right now. do you really think you’re the one that needs to be showing gratitude to me?” he asks with a soft smirk

i smile at his rhetorical question

“i will never be able to show you enough gratitude for how much you mean to me and how lucky i am that you stick beside me everyday” he says while wrapping his hands around my back to give me a tight hug

i coo at the added pressure

“im sorry, did that hurt?” he asks with concern

“no, you’re fine. my back has just been aching all day.” i complain

“can i try something?” he asks

i nod my head yes with a bit of confusion.

he gently puts his hands under my belly and lifts its slowly.

the released pressure on my back and pelvis felt like heaven.

i drop my head on his shoulder as a sign of relief.

“i did not know about this relief tactic” i state with shock laced in my tone

“yeah. i did my research about the do’s and don’t’s with a pregnancy wife!” chris replies

i laugh at his humor

“i love you so much christopher.” i say as i lift my head up and look into his eyes

“i love you so much much y/n” he responds back.

he bends his head down to give me a kiss on the lips.

“now lets turn off this stove and get you into bed. you did enough for tonight.” he says while switching off the stove letting the, now cooked, food shimmer down.

he grabs my hand and guides me back to our bedroom.

———————————————————————

a/n: this was so cute to write, i loved it! hope you guys love as well

[justnatoka]

Deliver me from darkness

Poly! The Lost Boys x GN! Reader

A/n: This piece is very special to my heart. This is for everyone who felt self-hatred before or like they didn’t deserve to be loved (me included). Of course, these issues are not so easy to solve, but I hope this little thing can make at least a few people feel better. Please, if you know someone who has these thought, show them kindness, a few caring words really can go a long way.

Word count: ~3.2k

Warning: depressive thoughts, feelings of self-hatred, of not being enough, self-isolation, angst with a happy ending

Prompt: “Nobody’s seen you in days.”

Song recommendation: In The Androgynous Dark by Brambles (I know it doesn't fit the vibe of the movie, but it's what I was listening to while writing.)

The fluttering of wings infiltrated the quiet of your bedroom. A slight push, and your windows slowly opened, bringing with them the scent of the warm summer night. Your heavy curtains that kept the room dark for the last couple of days got caught in the breeze, and in the small gap between them a sliver of moonlight stretched across your floor. It was soon blocked out, however, as a familiar figure stepped into the room, pausing for a second as he noticed the lump of blankets on the bed. When all he could hear was soft breathing, he made his way over there, his footsteps echoing loudly in the stillness.

You knew who he was the second he entered, the smell of cigarette smoke clinging to him like a second skin. And as you felt the bed dip behind you and a hand on your shoulder above all the layers, you could faintly make out a scent underneath, one that was all him, so indescribably David.

“Nobody’s seen you in days, darling. We were starting to get worried. I came to check on you.” He spoke with such tenderness, as if afraid that you would shatter any second. It was a tone so uncharacteristic of him, but it made your chest ache with longing. When you didn’t answer, he continued. “Can you say something? Just so I know you’re alright?”

You wanted to scoff at that. You were obviously not alright, and he could clearly see that as well.

“Why did you come here, David?” Your voice sounded rough and unfamiliar, not having been used in a while, and although you couldn’t see it, his eyebrows furrowed in concern at the sound.

“Like I said, we were worried. You didn’t come to meet us on the boardwalk, and none of us heard from you in a while. We even went to ask Michael if he knew anything.”

As he was explaining, you slowly tuned him out, not wanting to hear anymore, not wanting to listen to his concern. It only made you feel more miserable. When he stopped, you spoke up again.

“You shouldn’t have come here,” you whispered. Sensing his confusion you added, “I didn’t want you to see me like this.”

David’s heart clenched at how pathetic you sounded, and it only made him more sure of himself.

“Well, I’m not going anywhere, and neither are they.”

You heard whispering as more people stepped in through your window. They were probably waiting outside for a sign to come in, not wanting to overwhelm you all at once. The thought caused your chest to ache even more.

“We won’t let you suffer alone, sugar,” Marko declared.

“We’re here to take care of you, dollface,” Paul added.

“Whatever you need,” Dwayne finished.

You felt tears welling up in your eyes as you finally made a move, slowly turning over and looking at them. Their heart broke when they took in you appearance. You hair was a mess, your skin pale and tired, your eyes puffy and red from crying, fresh tears running down your cheeks. You looked sad and exhausted, and all they wanted was to take the pain away from you, to see your sunny smile once again.

Paul was the first to move. “Oh, honey,” he sighed as he came over, scooping you up and into his lap, enveloping you in his arms. You sniffled as you buried your face into his chest. You felt more hands on you, Marko draping himself over you from the other side, and Dwayne sneaking his arms around all three of you. Not feeling like he had any space left in the group hug, David opted to link his fingers with yours, holding your hand and caressing your knuckles gently.

Feeling all this love around you, you broke down. This time, crying your heart out actually felt cathartic, not full of bitterness and sorrow like the past few days. As if their mere presence, the smallest sign that they cared, that someone cared at all opened the floodgates and washed away all the miserable thoughts you bombarded yourself with while no one was watching.

Their love was overwhelming. It’s what drove you to lock yourself away in a dark moment, the small voice in your head slowly poisoning your mind with doubt. Not feeling like you deserved any of it, your thoughts spiraled, constantly questioning why they chose you, hurling insult after insult towards yourself until you felt like breaking. After a while, there was just numbness, having tired yourself out with trying to withstand the waves of self-hate. But it was also their love that drove the darkness away, and as your sobs quietened down, so did the small voice in the back of your head. When you lifted your head, your eyes meeting David’s over the limbs and shoulders, all you saw was affection and reassurance, and after a long few days, you finally started to feel like you were going to be alright.

When they felt you shift, the boys unwrapped themselves from around you. Your heart swelled as you saw the tear tracks on Paul’s cheeks, moved that he cared enough to cry for you. You reached over and wiped them down, not wanting to see him sad anymore. You couldn’t help but notice that Marko’s eyes also glistened suspiciously, but he turned away, rubbing at his own face in hopes you wouldn’t see.

“Do you want to talk about it?” Dwayne’s gentle voice drew your attention.

“No, at least not now,” you shook your head, your voice hoarse from all the crying. “Maybe I’ll be ready to talk about it later, but right now I just want to be with you guys.”

He nodded in understanding. “We’ll be here when you’re ready.”

You took his hand and gave it a thankful squeeze, your words failing you. He smiled back at you warmly.

“Well then,” David spoke up, his gloved hand still holding your own. “How about we help make you feel better, kitten? Come with me, let’s take a warm shower while the boys set everything up.”

He was already pulling you with him, out of your cocoon of blankets, out of the bed you barely left in the past few days. The only time you got up was to get something to eat from the kitchen or dragging yourself to use the bathroom, your limited amount of willpower only able to do so much. Now you let him guide you out the door, sending one last glance behind him at the others, silently communicating as you’ve seen them do so many times before, and you couldn’t help but wonder what he meant by ‘set everything up’.

He brought you to the bathroom, letting go of your hand to turn on the faucet, even pulling off his glove to check the temperature. When he was satisfied, he started making his way towards the door to give you some privacy. A sudden desperation clenched your lungs, and the next instant you were holding onto his hand tight. His face mirrored your own surprise, both of you caught off-guard by your fast movements. You felt your stomach flip, anxiety gradually turning into embarrassment, and you had to drop your gaze to the floor.

“Could you… would you stay with me?” You had to force the words out of your mouth. Shame crept into your mind about how pathetic you sounded, but after the last few days the thought of being alone for just a second sounded even more unbearable. After a long moment, gentle fingers cupped your cheek, the chill from his bare skin creeping into your own. David brought your gaze back up at him, and every little doubt disappeared at the understanding that radiated from his cool blue eyes.

“Of course I’ll stay, kitten, if that’s what you need.”

A smile turned the corners of your lips upward, a small one, but a smile nonetheless.

“There you are,” he teased softly. “That’s my darling I like to see.”

When your smile grew even brighter, he looked visibly relieved, feeling glad that he could finally pull you out of that suffocating cocoon of darkness bit by bit. He sat down on the closed lid of the toilet, making himself comfortable. You looked at him fondly a moment longer, letting the bathroom fill with steam from the hot water, fogging up the mirror. You wondered if he was feeling warm in all those layers as you turned your back at him and started peeling off your own clothes.

Your embarrassment returned when you felt his eyes on your bare back, your shirt dropping to the floor, soon joined by your pants and underwear. You felt completely bare standing in front of him in every sense of the word. He’s seen you naked before, they all have, but this was the first time you’ve been so vulnerable. You didn’t share your dark thought with people, not wanting to hear their pity, not wanting to seem as weak as you felt sometimes. But for the first time, he’s seen your everything, all your flaws and doubts and fears. It was a whole new type of nakedness, and it made you self-conscious. However, when you turned around to face him, all you saw was love in his eyes, and just like that, baring your soul didn’t feel so scary anymore. You knew this was a huge step, a new, deeper kind of trust was forming between you, and it made you feel safer than ever.

You stepped under the warm spray of water, not bothering to close the shower curtains all the way. You didn’t feel the need for it anymore, you had nothing to hide, and in your current state, you couldn’t care less if water got all over your floor anyway. Slowly, the tension in your muscles started to ease up, the hot shower washing away any remnants of the dark cloud that’s been festering in your mind. And you were pretty sure that David’s presence just a few feet away had a lot to do with that too. Just knowing that he’s there was enough.

As you got out of the shower, feeling refreshed and warm after the grime and sadness of the past few days have been washed away, David was already waiting for you with a towel. He wrapped you up, rubbing over your arms and back as you leaned into him, burying your nose against his collar and breathing in his scent.

“I’m gonna bring you some clothes, okay? I’ll be right back.” He seemed just as reluctant to let go as you were, but the shower helped, and you nodded, signaling that you would be alright to stay alone for a few minutes.

As he opened the door to leave, the sound of Paul and Marko bickering filtered into the bathroom along with clattering and something crashing. David and you shared a look.

“It’s okay, go and sort it out. I’ll be fine,” you reassured him. He let out a sigh as left to see what the hell those two were up to. Before you closed the door behind him, you could hear his chastising voice, followed with Marko’s complaining, and you cracked a smile.

By the time David came back, you’ve already dried you hair and was just sitting around, waiting for him. Accepting the pajamas he brought you, you dropped the towel and started getting dressed. This time, the feeling of his eyes on your body stirred something inside you, but you pushed it aside. There will be time for that later, when you didn’t feel so raw, when the memory of your pain wasn’t so fresh.

After you finished, he took your hand again and guided you back into your room. You were amazed at how different it felt now, as if someone sucked out all the darkness and negativity while you were in the shower. You had a feeling that Dwayne had something to do with that, as he was just finishing up with piling every pillow he found in the house on your bed. He had changed the sheets, and made a little nest from pillows and blankets that you honestly couldn’t wait to sink into. You also noticed that all the trash you accumulated the last few days and couldn’t bother to clean up, every single food wrapper, empty water bottle and used tissue disappeared. He even found some candles god knows where and lit them up around the room, creating a truly cozy atmosphere. The curtains were fully open now, the balmy summer night air seeping in through the open windows.

Dwayne raised his head when he heard your footsteps, and by the way his eyes wandered from you to David, you were sure he felt that something had changed between you two. Guided by a sudden urge, you went over to him and wrapped your arms around him, burying your face into his chest, wanting to reassure him that you were better now. You felt him hugging you back, but you couldn’t see him exchanging a look with David over your head, the leader sending him a silent answer to his unspoked question. He smiled at last, satisfied with what he heard, and finally letting himself really sink into your embrace.

The moment was broken by the sound of more footsteps and bickering back and forth, stopping at the door, then everything went silent.

“Babe?” Paul’s voice was hesitant, but as you unwrapped yourself from Dwayne, turned around and smiled at them, all his worry seemed to disappear. A huge grin lit up both his and Marko’s faces, and quickly discarding what was in their hands, they were on you the next second, wrapping you in a tight hug from both sides, almost knocking you over.

“It’s so good to see you smiling again, sugar,” Marko laughed into your ear from behind, while Paul peppered kisses all over your face, causing you to burst out in giggles as well. You couldn’t help but feel your heart grow twice in size, so full of love for these four. A few tears escaped your eyes, and hearing you sniffle softly, they instantly let you go, fussing over you with panicked faces.

“It’s okay, guys, these are happy tears,” you smiled, your voice thick from all the emotions you felt at once. Paul moved to wipe them away from your cheeks, just like you had done to him before. The moment he was out of the way, Marko pulled you against him, his fingers digging into you as he held you tight, his forehead resting on your shoulder.

“We were so worried when you didn’t show up for days. You could’ve gotten hurt for all we knew,” he mumbled against you. “And when we came to check on you and saw that you really were hurting and didn’t tell us I couldn’t… I felt to useless. I felt like I failed you.” His voice cracked at the end, and a fresh bout of tears escaped your eyes as you tightened your hold on him, your fingers sneaking into his hair and stroking his head.

“I’m sorry I made you worry. But you are not useless, you hear me? Do not blame for yourself for this. I should have come to you when I first started slipping into darkness. But that doesn’t matter anymore. What matters is that you are here right now, and that’s more than enough,” your voice started to waver. “I love you all so much. And even though I might have some similarly dark moments in the future, I want you to know that you make me so incredibly happy, and I couldn’t be luckier to be loved by all of you.”

By now, tears were flowing freely from your eyes again. However, these weren’t tears of sadness anymore, but of healing. It took a few more minutes for Marko to let go of you, and as you looked into his eyes after retreating from his embrace, they were as red as your own. You sent him a watery smile, and swore to yourself deep within your heart that you would do everything in your power to not make him cry again.

“So,” you started, not wanting to talk about sadness anymore that night, “what were you guys doing in my kitchen?” you peered over Marko’s shoulder to discover two big trays they discarded on top of your dresser when they came in. They were practically overflowing with stuff.

“Oh, right,” Paul picked them up and brought them over one by one, setting them on the coffee table they brought in from the living room. “We got some snacks and some takeout, and we even made hot choco.” He looked very proud at that. “We would have marshmallows in it if someone hadn’t forgotten about them.”

“Hey, I told you already, that was your job,” Marko countered.

“No, it wasn’t!”

“Guys, it’s fine,” you chuckled. “It’s going to be just as good without marshmallows.”

“No, it’s not,” Paul pouted. “I wanted everything to be perfect for you.”

Your heart swooned. “I appreciate it, Paulie. That fact that you guys did all this for me,” you motioned over your little cozy setup of pillows and blankets and snacks, “is already more than enough.”

He seemed to relax at that, his ever present smile sneaking back onto his face.

“And there’s one more thing,” he pulled out a VHS of your favourite movie, having gotten it from the video store earlier. He put it in the player under your small TV, and as the opening credits started to roll, he pulled you with him onto the bed, positioning you into his lap, your back against his chest, cuddling up to you.

“Dude, don’t hog our sweetheart,” Marko complained, already next to you and draping your legs over his lap.

Dwayne handed you a mug of hot choco before settling down on your other side, taking one of your hands in his. Not having any more room right around you, David draped himself over the foot of your bed, resting his head against one of your pillows. He didn’t mind it, the precious moments the two of you shared in the bathroom earlier satiated his need for your attention.

Not long after everyone settled, right before the movie really started to pick up, you felt Dwayne gently squeeze your hand. Glancing up at him, you already found him looking at you, his eyes filled with fondness.

“If you feel like you’re starting to sink again, just tell us,” he whispered. “We’ll be there. We will always be there.”

You heart swelled at his words, nodding that you understood. And you did. You knew that after this night, you bond with them will be even stronger, your trust even deeper, and your love even more all-consuming.

[willalove75]

Alcina's New Maid Pt. 10 Lady Dimitrescu x Reader

Summary: Lady Dimitrescu brings you in as one of her maids, at least, that's what you thought she brought you to the castle for.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI

Tags: flirty, fluff, slow burn, smut, angst.

Notes: Part 10! This one is a tad longgg but it's cute and fluffy so enjoy! Also: Should the notes be in cursive font? I felt like it took away from the content of the notes but let me know what you all think!

Click here for the rest of the series

Over the course of the next few weeks, a sense of peace was restored to castle Dimitrescu once again. Things between you and Alcina still weren't back to where they were before everything happened, but you've been happy with the progress the two of you have made. Alcina has respected your boundaries; taking things slow and giving you the time and space you need to regain your trust in her.

You still haven't had dinner with them, but you've been having lunch with them almost every day and breakfast a few days a week. On the mornings you decide to have breakfast in your chambers, Alcina personally delivers you your tray while you sleep. Around the third or fourth time she brought you your meal, you found a little handwritten note left on the tray.

The very first one you found made your heart swell a little. In her beautifully perfect cursive, she wrote:

I am still uncertain if I am worthy of your forgiveness, or worthy of a second chance, however I am forever grateful that you think otherwise. I will spend the rest of my eternal life proving my loyalty and devotion to you if I must. I give you my word, I will do everything in my power to make the changes needed to regain your trust. Thank you, for gifting me this second chance, for allowing me the opportunity to fix this mess I've created and to attempt to heal the wounds I've caused you. I will be indebted to your altruism until the end of time. Forever yours, Alcina

After reading the note you held it close to your chest, it was the most hope you've had about things changing for the better since you both agreed to try and reconcile.

Ever since then, a note was left on your tray each time Alcina delivered your breakfast. In some letters, she expressed her regret and how she resents herself for what she had done.

. . . I fear that no matter what I do, I will never earn your forgiveness. I am finding it near impossible to forgive myself for the pain I've caused you. I know for certain if I were in your shoes I would resent the person who hurt me so deeply for the rest of my life. I promise to never stop trying, in hopes that one day I will be truly worthy of your forgiveness. . . .

In others she talked about the hope she has that things will one day return back to where they were.

. . . In times of desperation I look to your eyes, when I feel that all hope is lost I find it within you. The hope has once again breathed new life into me and the spark is reignited in my soul. The fickle ember in my heart burns solely for you and if I must reach out for it every day with my bare hands to keep it alive, I will gladly accept the burns. . . .

In total you have nearly a dozen of them, keeping them in the drawer of your bedside table. Although the two of you haven't talked for as long as you did that night, knowing that Alcina takes the time every morning to confess her deepest thoughts and feelings, pouring her soul into each letter touches you. As if it's her way of apologizing every morning without bombarding or overwhelming you. She's able to express herself while still being able to give you the space and time you asked for. There are some mornings where you want to have breakfast with them, but decide against it just so you can get another note. On mornings when you wake up and feel the sadness or numbness lingering in your chest, the feelings subside after reading what she's poured out onto the page. They bring you a sense of comfort, making you feel seen and loved.

Early one morning you're in a deep sleep, you didn't even hear the door open or the clinking sounds from the tray as Alcina places it on your bedside table. You barely register the feeling of the mattress sink when Alcina gently sits on the edge of the bed.

"Y/n." Alcina says softly. She smiles as she watches you sleep, gently sweeping the hairs away from your face.

You finally begin to wake up when you feel a large hand rubbing small circles across your back.

"Y/n."

"Hmm?" You mumble, still mostly asleep.

"Come on, it's time to wake up."

Waking up, you roll over towards her and prop yourself up on your elbow.

"What time is it?"

"It's still early," Alcina says, gently brushing away the hair that had fallen onto your face. "but I have a surprise for you this morning."

"You do?" You squint at her as you adjust to the morning light, sitting up in bed you rub the sleep from your eyes. "What is it?"

Alcina chuckles.

"If I told you it wouldn't be much of a surprise now, would it?"

"Oh, right."

"I brought you breakfast. I was hoping I would be able to join you this morning, if you don't mind." She says, almost meekly, grabbing the tray and placing it on your bed between the two of you. Looking up at her, she's exuding a shyness you haven't seen before.

"I would love that." A smile crosses her face when she hears your response. You look down at the tray to see if there was a note, mostly out of habit and a look of disappointment must have flashed across your face for a moment.

"Is something wrong?" Alcina asks, her eyes worriedly scanning the tray.

Looking back up at her, you see the worry on her face.

"Oh, no. Sorry, I was just looking to see if there was a note, force of habit at this point."

Alcina visibly relaxes.

"Oh," The look on her face goes from relief to touched. "have you been reading them?"

"Yeah, every time you leave one. I really enjoy them." You say, looking away as a small blush crept across your cheeks.

"You do?"

"Yeah, of course."

Leaning over the side of your bed, you open up the drawer of the nightstand and pull out the small pile of letters.

"I keep every single one."

Alcina's eyes gloss over when she watches you open up the drawer and pull out every letter she's written you since she started leaving you notes in the morning. Carefully taking the stack from your hands, she looks down in disbelief.

"I can't believe you kept them all."

"Of course I did, what did you think I was doing with them?"

Looking away, a little ashamed, Alcina replies "I honestly thought you were throwing them away."

"I would never throw these away, they mean a lot to me Alcina."

"They do?" She asks as her golden eyes widen.

"Yeah, of course. Truthfully, now I look forward to each morning when you bring in my tray because I know there's going to be a note from you on it."

Alcina gently tucks a piece of hair behind your ear and rests her hand on your cheek for a moment. Neither of you have said "I love you" since that night, but you can see it in her eyes. Her hand leaves your cheek and you take the letters back from her, putting them back in the drawer and closing it.

"This smells amazing." You say, looking down at the tray of food.

"Go ahead, eat. I'm sure you're hungry."

The two of you enjoy a quiet meal together. This is probably the first time you've ever had a meal by yourselves, but you enjoyed it. As you ate you both lightly chatted, making each other laugh every so often. It was nice being able to enjoy each others company in private for a short while. You could feel the foundation of your new relationship solidifying as you ate breakfast together, and it felt good.

After you finished eating, Alcina placed the tray back on the nightstand.

"So when do I get this surprise?" You ask.

"Very soon, go and get yourself ready and come get me when you're done. I'll be in my chambers. Okay?"

"Okay. Anything in particular I have to wear or something?"

"No, dress as you wish. But we will be outside for a bit and it's supposed to be a beautiful day out." She says with a smile.

"Okay."

Alcina stands and grabs the tray and head towards the door. She opens it and turns back and gives you one last smile before ducking out and closing the door behind her. After she leaves you throw the covers off of you and hop in the shower.

Down the hall, Alcina sees a maid and gives her the tray to bring back down to the kitchen. She makes her way down the stairs and finds the girls in one of the sitting rooms.

"Is everything all set girls?"

"Yes mother!" Bela says.

"She's gonna freak out." Cassandra says.

"Oh I can't wait to see her face!" Daniela all but yells.

"Very well, thank you daughters. I'll be in my chambers, please see that everything is ready to go when we come back down."

"Yes mother!" The three girls say in unison.

Alcina heads back to her chambers and sits at her vanity, touching up her makeup and hair. After a little bit she hears a small knock on her door and takes a deep breath in and out before getting up and opening the door.

When she opens the door she's taken back when she sees you in the sundress she had bought you.

"Is this okay?" You ask, looking down at the dress.

"Yes," she breathes. "it's perfect." Her eyes meet yours and you get lost in her bright golden orbs for a few moments before you both snap out of it.

Alcina calls for the girls and Bela appears next to you.

"Is everything ready?" Alcina asks.

"Yes mother! Everything is ready for the both of you."

"Thank you my dear, we'll be down shortly."

Bela swarms off and she turns towards you.

"Are you ready for your surprise?"

"I think so!" You say with a smile.

You genuinely have no idea what she planned, you hope it's not an expensive gift or something extravagant, but you're still excited to see what it is.

Alcina leads you downstairs and towards the courtyard. Before she opens the doors she looks down at you with a big smile on her face, she looks excited and it makes your heart flutter.

"I know there's one thing that you've wanted since the day you came here, and I wanted to personally make sure it happened."

Alcina opens the doors and it takes a moment for your eyes to adjust to the light. When they finally adjust, you see the kids, all five of them, running around the courtyard with Daniela, Bela and Cassandra.

Freezing in place, you can't believe they're here, in the courtyard, playing and running around like they always do. Tears begin to fill your eyes and Alcina places her hand on your back, gently pushing you forward.

The fears that you had of never seeing them again vanish into thin air. As much as you didn't want to admit to it, there was a small part of you that was worried Alcina was lying about letting you see the kids again just to give you some piece of mind. Fearful that she never had any intentions of letting it happen. But here they are, right in front of you, and Alcina was the one who organized it and planned a surprise visit.

"Y/n!!!" You hear Ana yell.

All of the kids stop and look at you, in an instant they're running into your arms. Kneeling down on the ground, you do your best to wrap your arms around all of them as the tears fall from your eyes. Your heart feels so full it's about to burst.

"Oh, I missed you guys so much." You say softly, burying your face into them.

Daniela, Bela and even Cassandra look on with huge smiles on their faces. Alcina looks down at you, her heart swells from seeing you so happy. She hopes that this surprise conveys how much she cares for you.

One by one you give each child a hug and a kiss on their head. The boys quickly go back to the game they were playing as you finish saying hi to the rest of the kids.

You hug and kiss Crina, the second oldest of the three girls. After her you hug and kiss Ana, the oldest.

"How are you doing love?" You ask as you hold her in your arms.

"I'm okay."

"Yeah? Are they listening to you at all?"

"Barely." She says, rolling her eyes.

"Oh boy, I'm gonna have to have a talk with them then." You say with a laugh.

"Are you okay?" She asks, looking up at you with concern on her face.

"I am."

"You promise?"

"I promise kiddo, they've been really good to me here."

"Good." You give her one more hug and turn to the last of the kids, Elena.

You bend down again and outstretch your arms towards her and she jumps into your embrace, almost knocking you over.

"Woah," you say, balancing yourself. "hi my little angel."

Elena doesn't respond, instead you feel her starting to cry. You stand up with her in your arms and hold the back of her head.

"Oh, it's okay honey, it's okay. I'm here."

"I missed you so much." She cries into you. Just when you thought you were done crying, tears begin to fall again.

"I missed you so much too baby."

"When are you coming home?"

"Oh honey, I'm not sure. But I promise we're going to keep seeing each other, okay?"

She nods into you and you rub circles on her back, soothing her.

"Do you like it here more than at home? Is that why you won't come back?"

You feel your heart break a little, hating that Elena thinks you're staying away because you like being here more than you like being with them.

"No, not at all El. There's a lot of complicated reasons why I can't come home, but it's not because I like it here more, okay?"

"You promise?"

"I promise sweetie, but I want you to know, I think about you every single day."

"You do?" She asks, pulling back to look at you with tear stained cheeks.

You wipe away her tears and cup her little face.

"Yes, every morning when I wake up I think of each one of you, and I do the same thing every night before I go to sleep."

"I think of you every day too y/n."

You kiss her on the forehead and hold her tight and she squeezes you back. Looking up, you see Alcina sitting on one of the large benches across the courtyard, watching you with Elena with a soft smile on her face.

Only having seen you interact with the children once, and just for a very brief period of time, Alcina studies you with the girl in your arms. The very same girl being the reason the two of you even met in the first place. If she didn't stay back in the road and almost get trampled by the carriage, you never would have had to run in front of it and knock her out of the way. The carriage never would have halted and Alcina and the girls would have gone back to the castle and their lives would have continued on without ever having met you.

Although Alcina would never harm a child, she's grateful that little girl put herself in harms way that day. Because if she hadn't, the two of you never would have met and the empty space in Alcina's heart, the one she either didn't know was there or blatantly ignored for so long, would still be residing in her chest.

As she watches, she notices how naturally caring for these kids comes to you. Sure, it could be from years of practice, but something in your eyes, something in the way that you look at that little girl in your arms, says otherwise.

"You would make such a wonderful mother, draga mea." Alcina thinks to herself.

Your aunt walks up to the two of you and you smile at her.

"Hello y/n."

"Hi."

"How have you been? Have you been," she pauses for a moment and her eyes shift from Alcina back to you and lowers her voice. "treated well?"

You watch as Alcina's smile fades into a scowl when she hears your aunt, thanks to her supersonic hearing, and you have to hold back your chuckle.

"Yes, I have. I promise. They've treated me exceptionally well." You decide it's best not to mention the events that have occurred over the last couple of months.

"Well I'm glad to hear that. Are you one of her maids?"

"I was, but I don't do many of the maids chores anymore."

"Why is that?"

"I, uh, bonded really well with the girls-"

"The girls?"

"Yeah, the Lady's three daughters." You say, nodding to the three girls as they play with the kids.

"Oh right, they're, peculiar."

"They're good kids. But I got close to them, to all of them, including the Lady, really quickly. Within just a few weeks I was promoted to being her handmaid. Although I haven't been here long, they accepted me right away; they really made me feel like I'm part of their family." You look over at Alcina and you can tell even from this distance that her eyes glossed over a little as she listens.

"Family?" You aunt scoffs. Alcina's softened look hardens and her eyes narrow at her.

"Yes, their family. They have a mother and three daughters, they're a family."

"How can they be a family when they're mon-"

"Don't." You say, cutting her off. Alcina's body tenses with anger as she focuses on the two of you. "Do not say that. You don't know them." Anger begins to bubble inside of you, an instinct to want to protect them, to protect your family, begins to kick in.

"Surely you must know first hand of the horrors that-"

"I don't expect you to understand. But I will not let you talk about them like that. You don't know anything about them," You go to speak again but stop when you see a tall shadow loom over the both of you.

Alcina walks over, she has a smile on her face, she looks happy but you know her better than that.

"I do hope you're enjoying yourself and that you are finding Castle Dimitrescu to be a suitable home for your wonderful niece." She says, gently stroking your cheek. Alcina has a smile on her face, but you see a hint of murderous rage in her eyes begin to develop as she looks at your aunt.

A little frazzled and scared your aunt stutters for a moment.

"Oh, uh, yes, of course. It is incredibly beautiful here, t-thank you for opening your, h-home to us, and to her."

Staring down at your aunt, Alcina doesn't have to do much to intimidate or scare her. Her presence alone can be quite frightening. She begins to tremble lightly and you decide to change the subject.

"Is uncle here?" You ask your aunt.

"No-"

"My apologies draga mea, but a longstanding rule in Castle Dimitrescu is that no men are permitted to enter the premise. So that, manthing, was unable to attend."

You feel your heart skip a beat when she calls you "draga mea" and your aunt gives you a bit of a look despite her frazzled state. You know she said it mostly for appearances, but you didn't realize how much you missed hearing Alcina calling you by your pet names.

You're pulled out of your thoughts when Elena tugs on the shoulder of your dress to get your attention.

"What's up love?"

She cups her hands around you ear and whispers to you.

"She's very tall."

Unable to contain it, you let out a laugh and nod your head at the girl.

"Yes, yes she is." Looking up at Alcina, she has a smile on her face. Any trace of the murderous rage in her eyes is now gone.

Cupping her hand around your ear, she whispers to you again.

"Are you scared of her? I'm scared of her."

The amusement in Alcina's eyes disappears, fading into a look of sadness that she quickly masks. You feel your heart sink in your chest when you see her reaction to Elena's question.

"No, I'm not scared of her at all. I actually like her quite a lot. I know she's very tall, but she's not scary. Remember when we talked about how some people are different from others, but just because they look different, doesn't mean that they are different from you or I on the inside?" Elena nods her head. "This is a perfect example of that! See the Lady is very, very tall, so tall she has to bend down through doorways to get into rooms." Elena giggles and Alcina shoots you a playfully annoyed look. "But, besides that, she's not much different from you or I."

Elena whispers into your ear again.

"People in the village say she's really mean."

"You should never let someone else's opinion of a person influence your opinion of them. There were a lot of people in the village that said mean things about me, do you think any of them were true?"

Elena shakes her head "no."

"Exactly. So why don't I introduce you to her, so you can find out for yourself if she's as mean as the villagers say. How does that sound?"

Elena shakes her head "yes" and you turn her towards Alcina.

"Elena, I want you to meet my friend, Lady Dimitrescu. Lady Dimitrescu, meet my youngest cousin, Elena."

Alcina bends down so she's eye-level with the girl and gently holds out her hand.

"It is lovely to meet you Elena. Please, call me Alcina."

Elena looks at you, unsure of whether or not she should be afraid.

"It's okay." You say.

"There's no need to be afraid little one, I don't bite." Alcina says with a smile. You eyeballs almost pop out of your head when you hear her. Alcina's eyes meet yours, you see a mischievous yet playful look in them before looking back at Elena. Looking over at your aunt, she's lost all of the color in her face, she looks like a ghost.

Elena, who's none the wiser, puts her tiny hand into Alcina's. It's comical at how small it looks compared to hers. Alcina gently closes her fist around the girl and shakes her hand.

"Now say 'it's nice to meet you too, Alcina.'" You say, encouraging her.

"It's nice to meet you too, Alcina."

Elena looks at Alcina with wonder in her eyes after she lets go of her hand. With her fears slowly melting away, Elena observes the woman in front of her with curiosity.

"Elena! Y/n! Come play with us!" Crina yells from across the courtyard.

Elena begins to wiggle in your arms, you let her down and she runs over towards the rest of the kids. Alcina returns to her seat and your aunt sits on the other side of the courtyard, trying to put as much distance between the two of them as possible.

You join the kids as they play with the Dimitrescu girls. For the next few hours, all of you are running around, playing tag and other games. The entire time, Alcina and your aunt watch on.

It's been so long since you've had this much fun. Of course spending time with the Dimitrescu women was entertaining, but you missed running around and playing with the kids like this.

During a game of tag you're it, you go after Daniela and right before you tag her, she bursts into a swarm of flies and ends up behind you.

"No fair!" You laugh.

The kids, and your aunt, give questioning looks and the two of you brush it off as a fun magic trick to evade any more questions. The kids immediately buy it, although Ana might not have been totally convinced. Your aunt however, was not convinced at all.

Running up behind one of the boys as he runs away, you grab him around his waist and lift him into the air, spinning him around.

"Got you!" He cackles as you spin him, the laughter is like music to your ears.

Cassandra eventually gets bored and sits next to Alcina. Your aunt watches the two of them carefully. Alcina looks down at Cassandra as they talk, she brushes some of Cassandra's hair out of her face and looks lovingly at her daughter. Out of the corner of her eye, Alcina catches your aunt watching them. Glaring at your aunt, she wraps an arm around Cassandra and pulls her in close, as if she's protecting her and turns her attention back to her daughter.

Quickly looking away, your aunt is unsure of what to make of the interaction between the two. On one hand, she knows the rumors and the few first-hand accounts she's heard about how ruthless and horrific the four women could be. But on the other, the Lady of the castle just seems like a mother, caring for her daughters and, for whatever reason, her niece. She's still unsure of how such monsters can have a "family" but she begins to think about what you said to Elena earlier.

Zina walks out into the courtyard and announces that lunch is ready. You all head into the dining room, Alcina pulls out the chair next to hers and offers it to you and you gladly sit. Once all of the kids are seated, the maids begin assisting the children with making their plates and Bela, Cassandra and Daniela head into the kitchen.

"I expect you three to come out looking as clean as you do in this moment. Understand?" Alcina says to the girls.

"Yes mother." Bela says.

"Yeah, Dani." Cassandra says.

"Shut up Cass!" Daniela yells at her sister.

Alcina lets out a low growl and the three girls fall silent and head into the kitchen.

"Are your daughters not joining us?" Your aunt asks.

"No, they will not be. They will be taking their lunches in the kitchen. The girls have a, peculiar, appetite so it's best that they eat away from the children." She replies with a haunting smile.

Petrified once more, your aunt quietly eats her lunch as Alcina sips on her wine, pleased with herself.

After lunch is finished, Bela, Cassandra and Daniela enter back into the dining room, much to both yours and Alcina's surprise, clean. Daniela gives you all a brief tour of the castle, the kids are fascinated when they get to see your room, given it's nearly the size of the living room at their house. The tour comes to its conclusion at the library, of course, since it is Daniela's favorite room.

All of the kids pick out a small book, one of the boys picking up "Poems of Sappho" which you quickly take out of his hand as he pouts.

"Sorry bud, this isn't a book for kids."

Alcina walks over and plucks the book from your hand.

"I'll take this one." She says with a smirk, her voice smooth as velvet, and takes a seat on the couch near the fireplace. You sit next to her and Elena crawls into your lap while the rest of the kids sit around you while you read to them.

After a little while you notice that Alcina had stopped reading the book in her hand. With one long leg crossed over the other, she fiddles with the loose string on the armrest cover, listening to you read to the kids.

By the time you finished reading each book a few hours had passed, dinnertime is now right around the corner. Alcina goes to stand but looks down to find Elena's head resting on her leg, the rest of her body curled up in your lap, fast asleep. Looking over at Alcina, you notice she's looking down at something and you follow her eyeline to find Elena. You both look up at each other with smiles pulled across your faces.

Gently lifting Elena up, you pass her off to Daniela as your aunt begins to wrangle the kids, getting them ready to leave.

"I'll be out in a minute." You say to Bela as she leads everyone out towards the main hall.

The library door closes, leaving you and Alcina alone. She stays seated when you stand and you turn towards her, the both of you practically at eye-level. You wrap your arms around her neck and hug her, your action taking her by surprise a bit. She hesitates for a moment, but decides to wrap her arms around you, holding you tight.

Tears begin to well up in your eyes when you think about how much her surprise meant to you. You were so genuinely afraid that you would never see the kids again, that they would grow up thinking you abandoned them without a second thought and didn't care about them. Alcina knew your fears, and she promised that you would see them again, and she followed through with that promise. Her keeping it a surprise for you made it all the better.

When you were racking your brain trying to think of what the surprise could be, seeing the kids never once occurred to you. It was the best surprise of your life, and you are so grateful for her for doing it.

"I hope you liked your surprise." She says.

"I loved it." You say softly as a few tears escape. "Thank you."

Pulling away a bit, you look into Alcina's eyes and see hope, and love. She gently wipes away your tears, cupping your face with her hand.

"I can't tell you how much this means to me Alcina, really."

"I know this doesn't make up for everything, but I hope you know, I am trying."

"I know."

"I will do anything and everything to regain your trust."

"I know, and you are. This today, this meant everything to me. You heard my fears, you listened to the one thing I wanted more than anything and you made it happen without me having to ask you to. It doesn't make up for everything, but, this, the letters, it's exactly what I meant when I said I wanted you to put in effort to make things better. And you've been doing it, and it means so much to me. It really does."

As you look into each other's tear-filled eyes, you feel butterflies for the first time in a long time. Your eyes wander from hers, down to her lips and back up. A nervousness you're not accustomed to floods your body, like a teenager about to have their first kiss.

Your first kiss with Alcina was rough, passionate, on the heels of her teasing you for weeks. It led straight into your first of many long, glorious, nights of intense passion.

Right here, right now, the sexual tension is nonexistent. The only thing drawing her to you in this moment is your love for each other.

You watch as her eyes shift down to your lips and back up, you can tell she wants to make the move, but is hesitating, not wanting to overstep or make you uncomfortable.

Gazing into her eyes once more, you can feel them screaming "I love you" at you. Truthfully, you feel like your eyes are doing the same. With your heart feeling like it's about to burst, you tuck a strand of hair behind Alcina's ear and cup her face. Slowly, you begin to move in, you feel your heart beating out of your chest, you think you can feel hers pounding as well.

You both close your eyes as your lips gently meet. A jolt of electricity is sent through your body, as if you've finally been woken up after months of being asleep. Her soft, cool lips feel like home to you, a place you haven't been to in so long. A lump begins to form in your throat as you slowly kiss, you love her, so much. And you've missed her more than you ever could have imagined.

When your lips part you wrap your arms around her and hold her tight again as tears fall. Alcina holds you tight and buries her face into your neck.

"I love you, draga mea." She says softly.

"I love you too Alcina."

The two of you were so enthralled with one another, neither of you noticed your aunt had come back into the library, witnessing most of your tender moment together. Quickly, she slips out before either of you notice.

Pulling back a little bit, Alcina brings her hand to your face once more, studying you as if she's looking at a work of art. You gently nuzzle into her hand and close your eyes, letting yourself relax into her touch. It's almost a relief knowing that you'll have her back soon enough. Although you know the road the two of you have ahead is a rocky one, deep down you know that if you both keep putting in the effort you have been, the two of you can overcome anything together.

[urdepressedslut]

Stray ❝part two❞

♡ Pairing: The Winter Soldier x Fem!Reader/Bucky Barnes x Fem!Reader

♡ Summary: Bucky takes shelter in your house, waiting for the storm to pass. He notices something a little off about you.

♡ Warnings: hinted dark themes, light angst, fluff

Part 3

“Okay, just for tonight.” He agreed.

Even though you had opened your home to him, letting him know he was allowed anywhere he pleased, besides your room, he made himself comfortable outside on the front porch. Attempting to take up as little room as possible, deciding to camp out in the corner.

You had offered to help him set his arm back in place, but he immediately grew tense and shook his head violently fast.

Note to self: He doesn't like to be touched?

You felt bad watching him grimace as he moved around, trying to make himself comfortable. But you had to respect his space. If for some reason he didn't feel his arm should be set, them so be it.

You watched him from the window, not feeling like you were doing enough. You felt overwhelmed suddenly at having a guest, wanting to care for their every need. Taking a deep breath, you forced yourself to let him be, and busy yourself with the multiple tasks throughout the house.

Just for tonight.

His words rung in your head, and you couldn’t stop yourself from feeling sad that he’d only be here a short time.

“It’s fine…” You mumbled to yourself, unaware that Bucky could hear your distant voice through the window.

Bucky didn’t know what to think of you, he was confused and cautious around you. Despite your kindness, he thought it was too good to be true. He was used to mistreatment and harsh environments, it was his normal for a long time.

Now he feels he has whiplash from how different things are. He was used to the cold, dark cells of HYDRA. Normalizing the guard’s treatment towards him, how he had been manipulated into thinking he deserved it.

But now he sits on a rustic front porch of a charming ranch house, in the middle of nowhere, it seemed. Patches of flowers covered large sections of the fields, the vibrancy of all the colors overwhelming to him. Although his environment was extremely different than what he’s used to, it was you that had him lost for words.

For so long he only ever knew pain, and the sudden change of character was discombobulating.

How could you be so caring towards him? Did you know what he’s done? We’re you secretly scared and just not showing it?

He didn’t think it was possible to find such a sweet soul after all he’s experienced, he truly believed he’d be surrounded by the abuse forever. But you showed up, offering food, water, clothes, even shelter, and he still didn’t believe any of this was real. He didn’t believe you were real.

God, he wished— hoped it all was.

✿

The storm had rolled in several minutes ago, the ranch now shadowed in darkness, harsh winds jingling the wind chimes. Bucky found the storm to be scary but breathtaking, watching the streaks of lightning paint the sky in beautiful designs. The wind felt cool and dried his clammy skin, relaxing him in a state of calm that he had forgotten he craved. Waves of rain would blow into the front porch with violent gusts of wind, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. He was relaxed, and he feared if he moved an inch, he’d lose the calm.

He was perfectly content in his corner, not caring to even attempt to sleep.

That was until he heard a loud thud from inside the house, causing his body to tense up, fearing that HYDRA had found him.

Meanwhile, you were exhausted and frustrated, throwing things around in the basement. You had thrown the shovel down, not caring that you’d hit the furnace, causing the loud thud to echo the walls.

Glancing down to the dirtied sheet, you felt conflicted. How could one feel relief and guilt so strongly at once? Your eyes watered, your stare not breaking, your mind clouded once again with faces. Ones that felt familiar, but the harder you looked, you felt you couldn’t recognize them at all.

“Am I sorry?”

You whispered out to no one, the concrete walls of the basement making you feel claustrophobic. You couldn’t stomach the sight before you anymore, and turned and ran up the stairs, slamming and sealing the door of the basement.

Clicking the last lock in place, you pushed away from the door, backing up with slow steps, eyeing the door as if it would open itself. Afraid that you’d see the faces striding up the stairs, eyes red with rage.

“Not real.”

You whispered to yourself, in attempt to ground yourself from all the noise in your mind. You backed up more and more, eyes burning from the lack of moisture, but you felt terrified to blink.

Suddenly your back hit a solid mass of muscle, and you shrieked jumping back towards the basement door, fears forgotten as you turned towards the intruder.

Your eyes locked with the man’s fear blown orbs, and you instantly softened your gaze, in shame that you’d startled him.

“I-I’m sorry, you scared me I… I didn’t hear you come in.” You told him, trying to catch your breath.

Bucky had crept into the house, the wonder if you were okay lingering in the back of his mind, and he was concerned to find you creeping away from a door, unaware of his presence. You whispered something, he assumes to yourself—considering you didn’t know he was there, and he felt uneasy.

Something about the way you spoke when you thought no one was present, he was able to get a glimpse of your true self. But it disturbed him when your voice sounded so dull, empty of life. You had so far portrayed yourself as helpful and cheery, and this change in demeanor had him confused.

“Are you okay? Did you need something?” Your voice broke him out of his thoughts.

You were suddenly aware that he had come inside the house.

“I heard a noise.” He spoke, keeping his voice particularly quiet.

He watched your eyes flash from confusion to realization, watching you swallow nervously and glance back at the door.

“Oh…Uh I just dropped something downstairs, no biggie.” You waved him off, relaxing your shoulders and taking a deep breath to get yourself together.

Bucky tilted his head slightly, trying to get a look at the door behind your head. You noticed and tried to hide your panic. Luckily a loud clap of thunder broke him from his focus on the door.

“It’s getting bad out there, you can take the couch in the living room.” You offered, headed to the kitchen for a glass of water.

Bucky winced from your offer, he preferred to keep his distance. Your living room had looked comfortable and homey, but he didn’t want to burden you with… Well himself.

“I shouldn—“

“I insist, I promise you won’t bother me.” You told him, almost like you had read his mind.

He opened his mouth to object, but closed it once he saw you smiling. He didn’t want to make you unhappy, you had given him more than he could ever ask for. He couldn’t find it in himself to say no to you.

Bucky had grabbed his small collection of stuff, plopping it down on the floor near the couch. He sat on the window bench, watching you cover the couch in a silk sheet, then covering the sheet with a comfortable looking blanket. He felt guilty at the sight, he felt awful for taking up space in your home.

Finishing up, you plopped two white cased pillows down on top.

“This okay?” You asked him, watching him nod shamefully.

You wanted to ask what was wrong, as he always looked guilty like he was doing something wrong. But you decided not to pry, and left it alone for now.

The lights all went out in the house suddenly leaving you and Bucky in the dark. Immediately you knew where to find candles, and went and got them. You placed many candles around the house, lighting up the area. You didn’t want to admit it, but the dark was terrifying to you and if Bucky weren’t here you’d probably be freaking out.

Lighting the last candle on the table next to Bucky’s bed, the couch, you snuck a glance at him. He sat in the same spot, eyeing the couch but never making a move to get up.

“I know this isn’t much, and I’m sorry if it feels like I’m forcing you to stay here… I…” You trailed off, taking a breath, “You know you’re allowed to leave whenever you want… I just— I just wanted to help you.”

He listened to your nervous rambling, feeling bad that he’d unintentionally made you feel like you were forcing him to do anything. You weren’t forceful, not like the people from HYDRA, you were quite the opposite. He was suddenly tired of not being able to put a name to your face, and wondered why it had taken this long.

“What’s your name?” He asked you, and you seemed confused at his sudden subject change.

You hadn’t realized you’d never told him your name, that probably made him uncomfortable.

“Oh uh, (Y/n).”

Bucky hummed at the name reveal, and he decided quickly that it fit you well.

“What’s yours?” You shot back, watching his expression drop.

After a few moments of silence, you took it as a sign that he wasn’t going to answer. Thick tension filled the living room, making you fidget with the ends of your dress again.

“I think my name is Bucky.” He spoke, ruining the silence.

You smiled and repeated to yourself in your head, Bucky. You couldn’t stop yourself from asking.

“You think?”

He glanced at you, hesitating whether he should be honest with you or not. He feared you’d run, and for some reason he didn’t want you to be scared of him.

You sensed his discomfort from your question.

“I like Bucky. It fits you.” You told him cheerfully, watching his eyes meet yours and you swear you saw a smile ghost his lips.

Deciding to try and give him his space, and go to your room upstairs, you started to get up from your spot from the arm of the couch.

“(Y/n)?” Bucky got out before you took your first step away.

You faced him with a gentle smile.

“Yes Bucky?” You waited, watching his lip twitch at you saying his name.

“Can I ask you a question?” He asked quietly, watching as you sat back down on the arm of the couch.

“Sure.” You gave him the go ahead, and he surprised you by standing up.

You tried to keep the smile plastered on your face, but it wavered in shock that he was moving closer to you. You stayed very still, in fear that if you moved, you’d spook him. Instead you sat and watched him take slow steps, up until he got to the couch, and lowered himself, multiple inches from you.

Your smile grew back as you watched him sink into the couch, the soft feeling comforting him. He was relishing in the feeling like he had never been on something so soft.

Facing you, he held your gaze, and you grew nervous from the intensity that his blue eyes held. It was in this moment you realized just how blue his eyes were, they were piercing… Haunted.

“I saw some pictures… When I came inside before.” He started, and your eyebrows were furrowed in confusion.

“Pictures? I… I don’t…”

“It was of a family.” He finished, and you felt your limbs freeze up.

Bucky watched your eyes slowly go unfocused, and he grew concerned at the lack of light suddenly within them.

Swallowing harshly, you tightly gripped your dress on your thigh in attempt to ground yourself.

“Oh…” Was all you could muster.

“Is it your family?” He asked, debating whether he should stop, but he knew you wouldn’t answer if you didn’t want to.

“Some of them are, yes.” You answered, your voice more monotone then it was moments ago.

“You…” He swallowed nervously, “You said it was j-just you here?”

Finding out that there may be more people living here, he felt betrayed that you would lie to him. But he didn’t understand why he was so bothered, he didn’t even know you. He couldn’t help himself from clinging onto the first kind person he’d come across.

“No no—I swear it’s just me here.” You held your hands up defensively, “You can check the house, if you want.”

Bucky kept that offer in the back of his mind, not trusting you enough now that his mind was clouded with doubts about you.

“If what you say is true… Then where’s your family?” He asks, like the final nail in the coffin.

He was just a stranger to you, but you couldn’t help yourself from fearing what he might think of you, if he knew everything. You felt judgement from his questioning, but it was judgement in which you felt you deserved.

Just for tonight.

Right, he wasn’t going to be here in just a few hours. What’s the harm?

Unless he goes back to town, alerting the towns people of your baggage. He wouldn’t do that, he’s running too. Unless he’d use you as a distraction? No— Maybe?

Your head ached, your eyes threatening to spill tears. Faking a yawn, you stood up and started walking to the stairs.

“You can help yourself to anything in the kitchen, you can watch tv… I don’t care. Goodnight.” You muttered, feet heavy with dread, knowing what you’d see when your eyes would fall shut.

Bucky watched your form drag up the stairs, he was confused at what he had said wrong. He’d been getting a read on you ever since he’d seen you, and he never expected you to have something dark following you. His words seemed triggering, maybe something happened to your family. That thought alone made his heart hurt, you living here all alone. Well that made his heart hurt even more.

His mind was conflicted with thoughts, his brain not wanting to turn off. He knew it would be a sleepless night, instead he’d lie awake, wondering why a part of him didn’t want to leave tomorrow.

A/N: this is going to take a much darker turn than y’all were expecting 👀 hehe let me know what you think!

taglist: @viperchick47 @hunitweet @vixi-3303 @mirtaqueen

[mari-the-bimbo]

Epilogue: ex husband Gojo

A/N: although I absolutely love the ending, this epilogue is for my softie followers who wanted something to soothe them! If you enjoyed the original ending, ignore this epilogue! <3

Despite the storm in his eyes, the turmoil in his head and the grief in his heart, the white haired sorcerer held his children tight for dear life, kissing them, incoherently whispering sweet nothings to them, promising their mother was going to be okay even though he didn’t believe it himself.

He was good at staying strong for his children, they were always his priority. He was undoubtedly a good father, but an awful partner.

It took the death of the love of his life to realise that.

The warmth radiating from his body and kisses, and the strong hold around his babies were enough to console the crying, grieving children to sleep. They were tired. So tired.

Gojo slumped against the wall with his children in his arms.

“Is Yuuta and Shoko still not picking up?” Gojo asks Geto tiredly. The only two people who could cure his beloved, unlike these ordinary doctors.

“No. They’re probably asleep, it is midnight after all.” Geto replies. The black haired man sighs as he slowly pulls the children out of Gojo’s hold and into his.

“I think we should go home Gojo, I don’t think there’ll give an update about y/n until morning. Staying up won’t fix the problem”

“You take the kids home” Gojo mutters.

Geto sighs but decides not to push any further. Footsteps faded as Geto left the hospital with the kids.

Gojo’s ear suddenly peek as he hears the doors open. “Doctor?” Gojo asks urgently as he jumps up from his chair.

“I have good news and bad news Mr Gojo”

The doctor explained to him you survived, but suffered amnesia as a result of brain damage. Leaving Gojo with the paperwork and visitors procedures before leaving.

And once Gojo was left alone in the empty, dull corridor of the hospital, he fell to his knees, trying to regulate his breathing as good as he can.

She survived.

Gojo quietly thanks God and promises to love and cherish you forever in return that he gets to keep you.

Gojo quickly dries his tears and throws his emotions to a side. He silently stands back up and internally schemes his next move. You’re alive, but being alive wasn’t enough for the greedy sorcerer. You have to become his wife again, for him, for his children.

And you having amnesia? Golden opportunity. Oh how the universe loved him.

And with that, the determined ex husband saunters into the patient room. A smile on his face as he walks in. It’s almost as if the man was never sad in the first place.

A deadly sweet smile adorns his face as he entered and sat next to you, watching you intensely as you rested on the hospital bed, the urge to kiss you awake like the past is tempting but he controls himself. He smiles as he watches you flutter open your eyes, squinting but then widening as your gaze landed on a handsome white haired man you couldn’t quite recognise.

Oh angel I’m so glad you’re okay” he whispers sweetly while stroking your head, with a charming smile that made you blush.

“W-who are you? Sorry I can’t- I-“ you say unable to finish your sentence, feeling overwhelmed from your own confusion.

He ignores the pain in his chest at your words, and instead fakes a frown, “you don’t even remember your own husband y/n? It’s okay, we can work on it together” he reassures you kindly, taking your hand in his much larger pale ones, kissing the back of your hand.

“O-oh thank you” you say gratefully. You muster up a smile to the handsome man who claimed to be your husband. You couldn’t help but wonder how lucky you are! Such a kind, understanding and handsome husband.

“The kids were so worried about you” he sighed, making your eyes widen “kids?”. He hums in agreement, pulling out his phone and showing you his lock screen of all of you together.

Tears start building up in your eyes as you stare at the picture that showed beautiful young children who resembled you and the handsome man laughing as he held all 3 of you in his muscular arms with ease. They’re so beautiful, they’re yours. Oh what a shame you couldn’t remember these sweet memories..

“Oh don’t cry my angel, we can always build new memories together! And maybe we can try for another child you were pestering me for yeah?” he lied with a sweet cheeky smile, leaning forward with a tilt of his head, catching your tears easily, resisting the urge to lick your tears.

“Oh? I wanted another one?” You say bashfully making Gojo chuckle. “Yes you did my love” he answers. “And I must give my wife anything she asked for” he states, leaning forwards and pressing his soft lips onto yours, making your eyes widen in surprise. You don’t stop him, because it felt so good, it must be because he’s your husband right?

Right?

[monoghost]

𝒟𝑒𝓁𝒾𝒸𝒶𝓉𝑒

(No TW just comfort)

   There he stood across the room not really grasping why you so suddenly came to him without uttering a word even in response to his own, that is until he saw the look in your eyes. His gaze soften upon seeing your melancholy expression, the way your head hung low, and your hands dejectedly falling at your sides. Initially, he was worried he had upset you but upon observing you he knew it wasn’t that, you had something much more pressing going on. Although he couldn’t quite read exactly what was causing you such distress he just knew the emotions you had felt by one look at the way you carried yourself. You hadn’t dared to meet his stare knowing that if you did so everything would come crashing down at once, and the weight of the burden you were carrying would become too much for you to bare. You refused to let the pools that were building in your eyes overflow in front of him. He noticed you holding back, it slightly pained him as he would never want you to feel the need to put up a front around him. He slowly made his way towards you, his eyes fixated on your gloomy expression. Although Erik wasn’t one to typically initiate large amounts of physical affection in the relationship as you both were still fairly new to this however at this moment none of that mattered. All that matters is that you’re in front of him in need of his soft touch and protective grasp. He slowly reached for your hand taking it into his own then lifting it softly to his lips all the while maintaining eye contact with you even if you tried looking away. The way you so helplessly stared at him absolutely broke his heart, he knew you struggled with so many things all at once but to see how truly distraught you are in this moment made it all more real. He stared softly before gently wrapping his arms around you his right hand subconsciously guiding itself to the back of your head to pull you into his embrace, and the other slowly running up and down your back.

“Everything is okay now, I promise you my love I’m here.” He spoke so softly and delicately while running his hand down the back of your head. This was enough to set you over the edge, tears falling rampant from your now reddened cheeks as you raised your hands to grasp the material of his shirt from his chest your other hand grasping the back.

“I’ll protect you I promise, share your burden with me Angel don’t hold back it’s only me.” His voice was so soothing to the burning of your heart, he was so genuine and was happy to comfort you the way you have with him. His delicate words and voice caused you to bury your face into his neck just so you could feel more surrounded by his protective presence. Recalling everything that had caused you to be this way your shoulders shook as you now audibly sobbed into him. It was so much emotion at once, the overwhelming feeling of affection you’re getting from Erik, the sadness you held in your heart, and your gratitude for finally having someone to genuinely try to soothe the wounds of your heart. 

Upon hearing your audible sobs he softly shushes you while pulling your body impossibly closer to his own. 

“When you’re ready tell me what’s going on but for now I’ll just hold onto you until you’ve calmed.” He softly reassured leaving gentle kisses on the side of your head and the tip of your ear. Although you didn’t tell him what was on your mind that night he still stuck beside you and held onto you giving comforting words here and there without forcing anything out of you. He simply stuck by your side the entire night until you fell asleep in his embrace once he had taken you to lie down, your face still buried into the side of his neck while he held you with both arms. Although it was a simple gesture it was truly all you needed and he understood that happily caring for the person he loved more than absolutely anything.

[hugheswritetr]

Fresh Start

MASTERLIST

Heartbeat | Jack Hughes

- prologue part 1

author’s note: so this is the first chapter, let me know if you like it

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JUNE 2015

The long drive from New York to Michigan made Thalia anxious, looking through the window watching towns pass was not pleasant when the each town passed reminded her of the growing distance from her childhood, her father. Her mind was filled with questions, would she find friends? Could she make it in a new state by herself? The mind of the 12 year old never quieted. The biggest question was if her father, would stay with her even if every reminder of him was left in the soon to be sold penthouse in New York.

William Mariott, the greatest man Thalia ever known. Loving father, devoted husband, taken too soon from their lives. She often thought of herself as the luckiest girl alive, exotic vacations, hotels all around the globe, and all the benefits of leading a privileged life on the Upper East Side, living her own Gossip Girl dream. Her perfect life was crushed by the sudden diagnosis of her father, lung cancer they said. Thalia’s young mind couldn’t comprehend the severity of the diagnosis until her beloved father suddenly died, leaving behind his wife and two children who would spent forever digging themselves out of the hole their father’s death buried them in.

Although her mother tried to put on facade, Thalia knew better. The countless nights spent against the door of her mother’s bedroom listening to the gut wrenching sobs of a shell of a woman her mother once was would scar the young girl forever, hearing her mother’s sobs even on her own deathbed. That is why she made no fuss about the move even though it was killing her inside. Maybe the change of scenery would erase her mother’s memories of the death and she would find some inner peace, that was all Thalia wanted for her beloved mother.

Her brother, Theo, 15 year old boy already called the head of the family. The former heir was left with regrets of not spending time together with his father, the memory of countless nights he was asked to work by his side in the future made the teenager want to turn back time, but it was impossible. All he could do now was complete the dream his father supported him in, paying multiple training camps, private trainers and the best equipment there was. Theo would make it, he had to. The brave face he put on was all he could do for his father now, being there for Aurelia and Thalia, they were the ones who needed him the most.

Aurelia, Thalia’s mom was excited for the reunion with her childhood best friend Ellen, but the overwhelming sadness and pain was still looming over her head. She was sure the time would heal the wounds, but for own selfish reasons, she had to leave the city. The dying face of her husband imprinted in her mind. She swore she would protect the kids and their inheritance, she took the role of taking care of the hotel empire until Thalia turns 21.

As they passed the exit to the new town, Thalia for the first time since her fathers death felt at least a bit of excitement, because maybe this could be her fresh start, the beginning of much needed healing for her and her family.

When the car parked in the driveway, Aurelia let out an exciting shriek, before the house stood the Hughes family. Thalia didn’t know then that the family would change her life.

As soon as they left the car, the mothers embraced themselves with such love only a lifelong friends could radiate. The reunion made Thalia feel warm. For the first time since the tragedy, her mother’s slim frame radiated something other than despair and sadness.

,,Thalia, Mattheo, come here” her mother’s warm voice invited them to step forward. That’s when she saw him. When her chocolate eyes met the most beautiful sea blue eyes, she knew he would be the doom for her. That’s when the infatuation for the boy began. He was sporting the cheeky grin that would be associated with him for the next following years. Jack Hughes, the boy who will steal her heart and never fully return it. Even young, she was sure of it.

,, Hi, I’m Mattheo, this is my younger sister Thalia” the older brother taking the initiative to introduce them. Thalia stepped forward, being pulled from her admiring gaze trained on the middle child of the Hughes family. Thalia greeted the family with practiced elegance only a heiress of multimillion dollar company could carry, Thalia carried elegance from such a young age, given she was born to live this life. Even when she was in the womb, her parents knew she was going to be a lifelong member of the high society.

,, I love your skirt, It’s my favourite colour” spoke the youngest, Luke. Thalia immediately began the conversation with him about the shade and how it reminded her of her vacation to Caribbean, the memory of her family spending time together surrounded by the endless waves and eternity long sunsets made her smile. Thalia shared the details of their getaway , the young boy enchanted by the story. Ellen and Aurelia immediately smiled at their youngest children, seeing a new beautiful connection forming right in front of their eyes.

Their weren’t the only ones forming a now connection as Quinn immediately recognised his future teammate from the multiple images his mother had shown him. The eldest duo starting their own talk about the program and how they were excited for it. Both Mariott children smiled at the thought of their father proudly looking down on them. Maybe the move wasn’t so bad after all.

And that left Jack, but the young boy, always the star of the show was not left alone for long as he quickly inserted himself into the conversation with the adults, his charming personality making Aurelia swoon.

,,Come on, let’s talk in the kitchen” Ellen chuckled , inviting the family into the house for much needed reunion. The house had walls adorned with countless memories, providing warm feeling not only to the Hughes family, but to the Mariott as well.

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Luke led Thalia upstairs, wanting to show her his pictures from his own vacation, the young pair’s conversation never faltered. Thalia felt sense of relief, because for the first time since the tragic incident, the light at the end of the tunnel shined a little brighter. Lukes constant rambling made her feel secure and welcome, which was a pleasant feeling after a life of private school kids who were not so nice.

,, He didn’t bore you yet?” Spoke a voice from the doorway. Both of the kids turned around and saw Luke’s older brother, the boy with the most beautiful eyes, Jack. The blush that adorned Thalia’s chubby cheeks would be embarrassing if it hadn’t matched the one on the older boys own cheeks. Jack joined them on the floor and began sharing his own stories about the perfect holiday by the sea.

Mattheo and Quinn soon joined them, all of the kids forming a connection that will last through all of their adult lives, soon sharing their experiences together, laughing together, crying together a and some of them starting life together, but who will it be?

[amazinglyegg]

Paladin Danse headcanons because I love this little dude

Doesn't like being talked about behind his back, even if they're saying positive things about him. If he's talking about someone not in the room he's bringing up the things he said in that conversation next time he sees them because he thinks they deserve to hear the praise/critique.

Never really looks at the little things in life. The smell of brewing coffee, the way the sun rises over the trees, the calming ambient chatter of a shared living space... it all goes unnoticed by him. He finds himself thinking about the future constantly, and it takes someone who consciously points it all out to him for him to learn to live in the present more.

LOVES learning, although that passion dies down a bit while he's in the Brotherhood, partially due to grief/trauma and partially due to the Brotherhood indirectly teaching soldiers that outsiders are bad and the Brotherhood is always right. His love gets rekindled when he joins the Minutemen.

Doesn't really believe he has PTSD and pushes away medical help because he sort of feels offended that he was diagnosed despite his skepticism. The type of person to think "I don't have PTSD because I don't have any flashbacks, I just have nightmares and intrusive thoughts and sometimes I feel the same overwhelming emotions I felt when the trauma happened... but none of those are flashbacks!" (spoiler alert, man, not all flashbacks look like they do in movies).

Touch starved but not in the "cute clingy boyfriend" way. More like the "cringing away from touch because it's physically painful" way. He hasn't gotten any sort of physical contact in SO LONG and it's seriously fucking with him.

I was going to make a separate post about this but this man would fucking LOVE laser tag. He would be IN HIS ELEMENT. He would be THRIVING. Let this guy play a game of laser tag with some other soldiers please it would be great enrichment for him.

Strangely passionate about socks. Yes, socks. Do you have any idea how GOOD high quality socks feel?? If you complain about any sort of foot pain he has sock brand recommendations for you. He's the sock equivalent of "It's 'cause you're always on that damn phone" that parents use. "Danse my head hurts" "It's because you didn't get the socks I recommended to you" "????"

Will drink as a social activity, but mostly drinks alone. Also a sad drunk.

Would love any and all fidget toys he gets his hands on. Probably refuses to use them because most of them are colorful and "toys", but if you manage to sneak a fidget cube or a tangle in his hands while he's sitting around? That bitch will be used non-stop until he leaves it somewhere and forgets about it. Will probably adjust whatever action he's doing so he can keep one hand free to keep fidgeting.

Doesn't like anything that sticks to his hands or makes a mess on surfaces, like slime, putty, paint, mud, etc. If you hand him slime he will touch it once and then leave to go wash his hands.

Sleeps hot, probably without a blanket often because he overheats. Tosses and turns a lot. Does that thing where he can sleep through basically anything but the second you try to tiptoe past him he will shoot awake.

Keeps Cutler's and Krieg's dog tags in his bedside drawer. Doesn't do so with anyone else's, not because he doesn't care about any of his other teammates who died, but because he knows if he let himself keep doing that the drawer would get filled way too quickly. That realization was at about the same time he "toughened up" a lot more and fell into the commanding officer mindset he's still in today.

Doesn't like needles. He'll get shots and whatever if he needs to, obviously, but unlike most other undesirable things he'll actually complain about it a bit instead of acting like the tough guy. Probably looks away whenever he needs to get stitches.

Eats a ton of food, not so much water. Will absolutely demolish several servings of pasta and then complain of a dehydration headache, completely unaware that the last time he drank water was 7 hours ago.

Likes training new recruits, makes him a bit nostalgic for the old days with him and Cutler. Tends to be a bit soft with the ones that really remind him of Cutler, but in the type of way where he pulls them aside just to say "You did really well today :)" completely oblivious that the poor initiate assumed they were going to get reprimanded and are now having a mini panic attack.

[girlwtdragontattoo]

Halsin x TAV Fanfiction "Until we meet again, my heart"

DISCLAIMER: SPOILERS FOR BALDUR'S GATE 3 ENDING. My TAV is a tiefling, so I wrote it with that in mind. You can substitute whatever race your TAV is, if you'd like :)

If you want me to continue, please let me know! I wrote this, because I am truly a sucker for everything Halsin and I wish for soooo much more in the Romance Ending, although I am really happy with the Canon ending of it. I hope you enjoy!

_________________________________________________________

Halsin cupped TAV’s face with his hands and initiated a long, deep kiss. They leaned into him, wrapping their arms around his broad back as much as they could and enjoying the overwhelming surge of belonging, relief, love and peace. The Absolute was finally defeated and Baldur’s Gate could finally return to its former self. The wind blew gently around them, as the city lay before them, engulfed in golden light.

Slowly, the druid released his lips from theirs and stared into the starry eyes of his lover. TAV smiled and noticed that his took a bit longer to form than usual.

“Is something wrong?” they asked carefully.

“No, my heart. Nothing is wrong.” His hands dropped from their face, but he still stood ever so close to them. “But I feel a greater purpose coming out of the shadows. One that I cannot ignore, as much as I’d like to.” His eyes were confusing. On the one hand, the tiefling felt the radiating love they always emitted. On the other, there was a spark suddenly appearing and they agreed, it was hard to overlook.

“What do you mean?”

Halsin sighed briefly, and gently rubbed TAV’s cheek. “We have defeated the Absolute. And I am overjoyed at our victory. But there are so many displaced citizens, refugees, orphans... animals that need my help. Nature needs to heal and it is my calling to help it do so.” There was a slight pause, as he blinked slowly. “I cannot stay with you here, if I am to fulfill my duty.”

A sting. TAV felt their stomach collapse within itself, heat engulfing their spine and neck. They felt as though their body would erupt. But all they showed on their face was a slight consternation that swiftly turned to understanding. They smiled, as much as they could, mirroring the forced one the druid was displaying: “I see. It pains me so much to see you go, but…”, they took hold of his hand on their cheek, kissed it gently and held in their own, “I understand.”

Halsin sighed once more, this time deeply and TAV couldn’t tell if it was out of relief or sadness. He pulled them into an intense hug, one where his arms shook slightly from the pressure. TAV reciprocated and held onto their bear as if their life depended on it. There was no telling when they would cross paths again, so this moment needed to last. TAV felt the druid’s breath in their ear: “My heart, I adore you. This isn’t goodbye. We will see each other again, I promise. But this is something I have to do.” TAV sunk into the embrace even more: “I will miss you dreadfully, until then.”

The embrace lasted eons to TAV, but even that wasn’t enough time. Halsin released his grip, looked into their eyes again and gave them another, long, passionate and gripping caress. Finally, after smiling gently down at TAV for a while, he stepped away, turned to leave and said with his head still turned towards his lover: “Until we meet again, my heart.”

The druid walked away.

TAV stood at the same spot and watched Halsin walk with purpose, once again. They couldn’t help it. The sting, the heat, the overflowing cataclysm of sorrow overwhelmed them and as much as they tried, they couldn’t stop the tears from streaming. Turning to the lake, having the setting sun warm their face, TAV crumpled down on the landing stage and sat there ever so still, letting the tears run down silently.

Not much time passed and TAV’s three closest friends started to gather around them on the landing. Karlach sat down behind TAV and pulled them into a bear hug, her legs dangling with theirs. Shadowheart joined on TAV’s left side, sitting down gracefully and looking into TAV’s tear-stained face. Lae’Zel finally completed the foursome, plopping down on TAV’s right, staring intently into the setting sun.

Karlach tightened her hug and said: “Don’t be sad, soldier. We’re here for you.”

Shadowheart continued to look at TAV, analyzing the state they were in carefully, and choosing her next words with extreme care: “Love can be a wonderous thing. But terrible at the same time.”

TAV nodded, closing their eyes and letting another tear run down. Shadowheart rested her head on TAV’s shoulder, unsure on how else to comfort.

Lae’Zel didn’t say anything, but placed her hand on TAV’s, continuously looking at the horizon.

Finally, Karlach spoke once more: “You really love him, don’t you?”

Those words intensified the heat even more around TAV’s throat. Barely able to control the water leaking out of every orifice, TAV finally nodded intensely and let out a painstaking "Yes". All three companions edged closer to them, offering only their company as solace.

They sat together on the docks for what felt like ages. Being together, having survived the most intense and horrifying battle any of them ever have and probably will in their lives, was a gift they all appreciated greatly. TAV had convinced Lae’Zel to stay with them, which meant they would need to outwit the githyanki, who will surely come after her at every turn. TAV even convinced Karlach to go back to Avernus, promising fiercely to visit as often as possible, letting Karlach come back into Baldur’s Gate occasionally, and most importantly, letting her live. Shadowheart would accompany TAV and Lae’Zel, seeing the little camp of theirs as a new family and one she truly belonged to. Their company would ease some of the pain TAV felt, but it would never fill the hole that Halsin left. They travelled through Faerun together, making camp or allowing themselves a nice stay in a city once in a while, frequently returning to Baldur’s Gate, to see Astarion, Gale, Jaheira or Wyll, but mostly so that TAV could see if Halsin wrote.

It took some time. Too long. To the point where TAV convinced themselves that the druid had forgotten about them. The companions were walking the streets of Baldur’s Gate, Lae’Zel disguised as a halfling by Shadowheart, when a duck fluttered in front of TAV’s face. Surprised, TAV stared at the flapping poultry in front of them and finally noticed a small, rolled up piece of paper stuck to the bird’s leg. Hastily, TAV untangled the note from the animal’s leg. As its duty had been fulfilled, it plopped down on the ground and greedily pecked at the cobble stone for nuggets of food. They unraveled the note and read quickly:

TAV, my heart,

I hope Collin finds you swiftly in Baldur’s Gate.

TAV looked down at the duck vehemently pecking around their shoes. This is “Collin”, supposedly. They continued to read, with a beeming smile on their face.

There have been so many amazing things, that have happened along my journey. I have found a lovely group of helpers, some former refugees, who have assisted me in building homes, repairing the land and adopting children. Most importantly, through my travels, I got to see Thaniel and Oliver again. The former shadow-cursed lands are truly a sight to see. And I want to show you what you have changed here.

If this note finds you, meet me at the Last Light Inn on the day of the full moon.

I have much to tell you and we have much to catch up on.

I miss your eyes, lover.

Until we meet, my heart.

Yours,

Halsin

[fallout4-reacts]

Let's do something else while you wait for a new react (I am not often in my computer lately and making the reacts ask a set-up... yeah, I know.... anyway) Here's my thoughts on companions to do my reacts with them.

Cait : Cait is like a delicate flower. Awfully introverted--you say no? That she is really vocal? Let's me explain.

If nothing terrible had happened to her, she may have been a princess. But then she got hurt, and hurt, and hurt. Her own parents betrayed her. The sun does not shine; he burns.

As a sad tiny flower all alone, crashed and burning in the sun, she had two options: turn to ash or blaze back.

Something within her ignited, and she has since blazed the world.

Codsworth : This is a unique one. He was a well-programed Mister Handy. He remains still. But midway through the eternity of waiting for nothing, his code evolved. He is still Mister Handy, but he is conscious of this.

Unlike others of his type, he has become self-conscious and has begun to question himself, his life, and his own purpose.

Because what is his point if he can't wax the rust off your car?

So why is he still... on? Alive? Alive?! Is he alive? What determines life?

Fuck, poor robot, he weren't made for such philosophical notions...

Curie : Curie represents curiosity. What defines Curie? Curiosity. How far can a robot go to satisfy her curiosity? Considered from the perspective of an unborn being, which lacks the capacity to comprehend or fear mortality: A long way.

Then... on this route, continually moving forward, she upgrades herself and discovers.....what?????? Feelings? Overwhelming feeling? Something more mind-blowing than simply wanting to know everything!!!!

She then wishes to continue on this path, but it might be painful at times.

Another concept she can't stand...

Just how much further could she push herself?

Danse : Danse knows precisely where he is. He understands it so well that dying for this place is insignificant. Nothing at all. He is a part of something far bigger than himself.

But, Danse, you didn't follow that when you went to get Cutler back...

It was to... not waste... another soldier......

But it wasn't an order from the BoS?

He did what he had to do

But why insist on retrieving the lost patrol from the Commonwealth?

That was his...

It was not requested by the BoS; it was his initiative.

But, no, he works FOR the Brotherhoods! Period, or did he?

He didn't question it, at least. Not until someone stands in front of him and says, "Bad Danse, bad Danse. Do not assault ghouls or synths on sight; they are people."

Danse is a mess, although he doesn't want anyone to know it, not even himself.

He didn't dare to kill Nick or Hancock, and it was his decision, and he will never admit it. The truth is that he COULD. Why didn't he do it, though?

He didn't question it.

He didn't have a choice.

It was his only option to have you by his side, wasn't it?

Furthermore, he never once feels any sort of respect for a synth as events progress. Nick is just... hmm.... a strategically important part of the Commonwealth and he don't want to jeopardize the position in the Commonwealth by... and the Mayor of an important... hm.... well... See! A Deathclaw!!! Shooooot!!!

Deacon : This one... it feels close to home. Knowing everything bad in his soul and being fully aware of it. And knowing that everyone, to some degree, has it.

So what is important?

Nothing.

Nothing at all.

Nothing is important, and existence is USELESS.

But it's still not lacking in anything.

Then, establishing some strong beliefs regarding the right to life, which shall be considered.

If nothing matters, then no one is more important than another.

As nothing matters, he is free to pick what is truly important to him.

All life matter because nothing matters.

So, why didn't he become the most fervent defender of the very life he despised?

That is a purpose, just like any other—one that can allow him to live his life the way he wants it to be—interesting, thrilling, and fulfilling.

And he is quite skilled at it.

Hancock : Ah, this one. It could have been worse, and in some ways he is. He has clothed himself in the worst and displayed it in front of everyone.

Life's a joke. (You'll tell me it's Deacon's way? But no, it's truly Hancock's. Life is a joke! A extremely terrible, wacky joke.)

He was lavished with everything a man could want, and what did it do? It's made everything tasteless.

Consuming was not solely for the chems. For the day, the people, and everything.

To taste something, he had to take it anywhere and in any form, in many forms.

The flavour of life had faded away...

Up until the day he saw a really nasty guy being really mean with the neighbourhood synth.

Seems insignificant and far from the Of the Peoples and Save all the Ghouls man?

This was the first seed.

Why did anyone disregard the synth? He was a decent damn man, the only one who was always nice, never judging--okay, he was a gigantic judgement on legs, but he was never cruel about it, and he never rejected anyone who did not meet his standards--why be an ass for such a kind man?

Because Nick is as manly as him.

Okay, so these Upper Stand assholes are like this for synths, ghouls, the poor, and outsiders?

His own family?

His own brother???

Something in Hancock has broken because his blood and his own were so awful. And there was an intense feeling of dislike. 

An intense feeling nonetheless. 

The seed grows.

No amount of chem can destroy it now.

Nothing can hide it anymore.

He has no family.

He has no brother.

The seed had transformed into a sturdy tree with a protective layer of bark on this very, awful day of Diamond City history.

And, even though it was still a young and, in some ways, vulnerable tree when he left the place, it has only grown stronger.

And now it's a fucking bloody large tree with so many ramifications to offer shelter to any outcast in need, no matter what kind of outcast--such as a tree harbouring insects, birds, squirrels, raccoons, and so on...

A fucking massive tree that no storm can shake from the deep roots of his convictions.

MacCready : This one... yeah, this one.

A father.

An anxious parent who knows that displaying any emotion will kill him and his son. Even as a young boy, he learned that adults in his community were treated with distrust. And he's learned that as an adult, everyone is so selfish.

Then there is nothing more important than Duncan. The only unwavering love left in his life. He can only rely on this one person.

Nothing is worthwhile to demonstrate, express, or feel.

He only has one goal.

And splitting up is a complete and utter waste of time.

Because the universe revolves solely around Duncan.

And he had no time to waste explaining it to anyone.

"Think anything you want; I don't care. Give me my caps."

Did I really need to explain?

But why did he quit the Gunners? Knowing that it will be more worse for him afterwards? Knowing how risky it would be?

Because, even if he can do anything for Duncan, he couldn't bear the thought of destroying someone else's family like his own...

Even if it's not in Ghoul's hands or due to illness, he knows that killing innocent people would break families and cause other children to suffer, and he can't stand it.

He could hear Duncan's crying in the midst of every child's cries.

Yes, but... Vault 88.

It is something else.

It's not that he doesn't want this kid to be saved, and it has crushed his heart deep down.

But losing you is worse... because... maybe... something other than Duncan now matters to him... and he doesn't want to lose it.

Maxson : This is one of my favorites. Not because I prefer this one over any others. Many people know that Nick is my most beloved of all.

But Maxson is a case.

Maxson is frequently portrayed as a narrow-minded zealot who is little more than a forceful fanatic.

In the fan community, an author can dealt with in a different light.

But not enough.

Maxson is a complicated person, yet he is incredibly subtle.

First and foremost, we must remember that his name is the cornerstone of THE Brotherhood of Steel.

From the beginning of his life, he felt this burden on his shoulders with each stride.

A very profound brainwashing began, most likely before he was even conscious of who he was. Every first impression was undoubtedly tinted with the realization that he is a Maxson. He can't be anything less than a Maxson.

The indoctrination is quite deep, beyond anything you could conceive. A product of the Bos' pure, straight, tight, and negative mindset.

A Maxson, a humankind that cannot make mistakes and must be grandiose.

Since his early youth.

And even if...

Even if I can name what I want to express several times, I have a fantastic illustration of what I mean when I say he is more complex.

The Blind Betrayal.

Damn you for thinking he can't just take down Danse and Sole.

He can.

He absolutely can.

But he does not WANT. And he is relieved that Sole is arguing and offers him an exit door.

He plays the game throughout the entire length. Because he is Maxson! He can't be less.

He cannot have friendship jeopardize the BoS's entire belief system!

He cannot be weak!

He is the MAXSON!!

"Now that it is state, excuse me, I need to go into a dark place, roll upon myself, and cry my heart out. After that, I have a meeting where I will have to show no mercy and use a fine strategy. Have fun and comfort each other; I'm all alone on my podium and will always be this way... because now I don't even have the man who was the closest definition of a friend I could have...."

Nick : Oh my god. The Tin Man.

I'll explain my own feelings toward this man.

In my entire life, I've only encountered one person who has been truly good and selfless: my grandfather.

And Nick's voice! And, due to the game's structure, his running style...

Nick is a personification of my grandfather, as if he came back from the grave to remember me. To remind me of the ideals my grandfather had taught me.

And, as in the past, I feel like that little girl who wants to make her grandfather proud.

Also, my granddad was incredibly small for a man. And extremely very good. People openly insulted him, denigrated him, and treated him in the same way that they do to Nick.

Even while some people acknowledged all of his nice qualities and how amazing it was that he lived, there were always other people who took advantage of his kindness and wiped their feet on him.

My grandfather took it without offence.

"Poor ones, let them be, it's not their fault."

- Is it not their fault that they are bad?

"You have to understand them..."

- But they don't need to understand you?!

"It doesn't matter..."

He wakes up each day thinking about how to improve the world for everyone. And he goes to bed every night worried that he hasn't accomplished everything he could.

This kind of man... did exist... and I hope it still does. Because if someone conceived of creating Nick, it was because he had met someone comparable to my grandfather... didn't he?

And, to be honest, if I ever met this type of man, I would care for and cherish him in ways that cannot be imagined.

Because now I understand how empty the world feels when they left...

Preston : Another case.

Preston. This is a shame.

It's a shame he was designed to be the radiant... because this man deserves far more respect.

The very man who was willing to die because he believes he failed.

But it's not even his own failure.

But he carries it on his shoulder, with the world.

He finally found you.

And hope returns and...

Be serious for a second. The Minutemen Reborn is not you. It's not the fact that you're the General.

The Minutemen, the entire idea, faith, and philosophy are his and his alone.

Without him, there will be no Minutemen, no hope for a better world.

Even if he claims to be broken and defeated and unable to accomplish anything else, he has lifted the sun on the earth with nothing but his dream and benevolence.

What else could I possibly say?

Porter : Ah, man. He needs a hug. In a more twisted fashion than Preston, he is of the same type.

Just more of the lazy type.

Becoming a farmer or whatever is just not in is blood.

Simply having a negative example is enough to make him a bad man.

I believe Bethesda has slipped it here.

Porter may have been a great addition to the Commonwealth.

I think there should have been another alternative.

Porter was the alternative for living as a raider. But if you eventually decide otherwise, it would have been far better to persuade Porter to follow you.

Could he have lived with the knowledge that he had to kill, or at least allow others to kill, everyone on his responsibilities?

I don't think so.

He would have collapsed at some point.

What a waste.

He just needed more hugs...

(Have you ever heard his comment: A gift? For me?-- the way he sounds, well, my heart has melted as for Hancock.)

Strong : Aaaaah, Strong. A kind of developed super mutant... kind of...

He has his own colour, I must say.

Not my favorite companion as Marcus was, but still, his own color is worth it.

I adore how he dislikes everything you can accomplish that he believes is not worthwhile.

It's quite vibrant.

And the dread in his voice as he realizes what Virgil does.

Strong could have been an Orc. He is noble, proud, and appreciates something about his culture.

Even if he is difficult to deal with, he is well worth it.

Because it's amusing to have a character idolize you, but getting Strong's regard feels meaningful.

It's so easy to not earn it.

X6-88 : Give the man a break!

Poor X6.

No, not a hug. You will freeze his brain and cause his own doom!

NOOOOO!!!! DO NOT KISS HIM!!!!!

Poor, poor little thing...

Give him a break.

With enough time, you will find your way.

But give.this.poor.man.a.break!!!

[inkpot909]

Rohan Kishibe Falling for an Assistant!Reader

↳ Reader’s gender is not defined/is gender neutral. Reader is in college and not a stand user.

A/n: ‘roHan KisHibE wOuLd nEveR hiRe an asSissTant-‘ Rohan Kishibe loses in fights against teenagers. He’s been famous since the age of sixteen; there’s no way he can even do the dishes properly.

Warning(s): Swearing.

Rohan Kishibe began the process of finding a personal assistant not a year after Yoshikage Kira’s death.

Not too long before, the idea of hiring an assistant was one the mangaka would openly mock. Him? Needing assistance? Not a chance. His work ethic is unreal; able to disregard what other artists would consider as valuable help. The Great Rohan Kishibe works solo at every opportunity and everyone ought to know it.

Although his reputation to many of the people around him can be rocky, one would be hard pressed to find anyone with the opinion that he needed an assistant at all.

However, the kind of aid he sought was, for lack of a better term, a glorified maid.

The Kishibe resident itself is big enough to comfortably home a family of five, and Rohan famously lives by himself. And completing tasks associated with home ownership had always been a big pain in the ass to the artist. Too much of his time was wasted on ‘unnecessary’ trivials (things others would describe as regular adult responsibilities).

Not only does he lose precious work time to maintaining a house, but also to grocery shopping, sending messages to his editors, and even cooking.

In short, he independently searched for someone to take care of his home and busybody tasks on the regular. Releasing an ad, he felt confident that he’d find someone. Even if the job itself turns a handful away, a generous payload would be sure to entice a fair amount of people.

Trudging through resume after resume, interview after interview, Rohan eventually came across you.

A young college student, taking a small yet steady stream of classes. Your resume was average to many your age, but stood out to him for other reasons. Namely, your application was well-written and to the point (something he had increased appreciation for at that stage in the interviewing process). Not only that, but the specific experiences you have had in the workforce was good insensitive as well. The final nail in the coffin was a general feeling of honesty pooling from your written words. Judging by how it was written, he could sense genuine realness. In short, you didn’t bullshit.

Amidst your educational endeavors, you searched tirelessly for a stable income. Spotting Kishibe’s ad, you resolved it wouldn’t hurt to give it a shot. And as fate would have it, you were contacted in order to set up an interview.

Unsure of what to expect, you dressed yourself up and swallowed your nerves. The interview itself was to take place at a tiny coffee shop in Morioh Cho and you were thankful for the short trip.

Meeting one another at the agreed time, Rohan’s character quickly confused the hell out of you (as much as it was intriguing). He’s certainly the type to leave a lasting first impression, while seeming careless to your own thoughts on him.

It was intimidating, overwhelming, and admirable all at once.

Also, he made it clear his work’s extremely important to him, the sole reason behind why he searched for help in the first place. More time to work; more time to dig for inspiration.

His dedication is what truly sold you, finding it weirdly motivating. Within just fifteen minutes of speaking to him, you’d forgotten that he’s only a year or two older than yourself.

That was, until the interview went on longer and he let it slip that certain worries plague him. Especially between chapter releases. The prospect almost made you sad; both his ego and anxiety possibly due to being a well-renown artist from a relatively young age.

Your personal response to the questions plaguing your brain was to disregard them, and instead focus on an expectant Kishibe. His eyes were sharp, looking down at you and impatiently awaiting a response to a question you completely missed.

You didn’t need to hear the exact words, though. Smiling sheepishly, you reached out your hand and shook his own. In the back of your mind, it was assumed any answers to your questions would eventually arrive one way or another.

They were bound to, considering Rohan Kishibe was- from that moment onward -officially your boss.

And to say it was a rough start for the both of you would’ve been an understatement.

Initially, you were a little shy about making any more assumptions or even observations. Hell, you were shy in general. Adjusting to the new job became a top priority over any curiosity about your peculiar boss. But when working with a man like Rohan Kishibe, it’s difficult not to hang over his every last word despite yourself.

However, time brings with it familiarity. Not only with a usual work routine, but with Rohan himself. His initial sternness made meeting his expectations all the more satisfying. Without a doubt, you were proud of how quick you got into the swing of things.

He prioritized quietness and swiftness, but was also surprisingly fair. Even after accustoming to the work environment, he always comments on a job well done.

Except for when he’s deeply invested in his work. To you, it’s difficult to tell if he even notices your presence upon entering the art room. However, it’s not as if you slipped into the background, but he simply grew used to you being there on occasion.

Months passed. You grew to have less and less questions about a man you no longer called Mr. Kishibe, but instead by his first name.

The two of you don’t necessarily need to speak in order to be communicative. You’re at a point in your relationship now where you found reading into his actions to be surprisingly easy.

That’s an aspect he certainly wasn’t expecting either, not used to such things.

Just the smallest shift of his facial expression- just a lift of a brow -and your eyes light up with understanding. Sure, he can ‘read others like a book,’ but you’ve seemingly mastered the language of Rohan Kishibe’s demeanor without any stand power.

Then he notices that you’ve started doting on him. An extra selection of sugar with his morning tea. Always taking an enthusiastic intrest whenever he shares his art. And a specific kind of contentment or pride you put into your work that he honestly would have never foreseen.

For the longest time, he was adamant that he wouldn’t use his stand to peak at your past and present. His power had grown considerably, and became more selective of who he investigates. However, his curiosity overcomes a sense of restraint on his own abilities.

He couldn’t help but take a peak. Besides, he could find something usual for his writing. Regardless of whether or not he did, he found something else as well. Written in on your second page, his name was the most recent in a list of people you harbor (or have harbored) feelings for.

Rohan can move on after that. No problem. It wasn’t the first time he’s found his own name written down in someone’s book as a crush. It’s nothing to pester you about; nothing to even ponder. Nope. Just go back to work. Not a hint of romance is going to suddenly appear in his manga (it’s psychological horror, why would it be?) out of thin air.

A week passes. Two weeks pass. He’s become a little more silent as of late, but it’s nothing you care to mention at all. Rohan gets absorbed in his work often, and you figure you’ll get the chance to ask him about his work a later time.

Your patience is respectable; it’s downright endearing. But the lack of investigation on your part made his teeth grind together in frustration.

He doesn’t think of you that much. Not really; don’t flatter yourself. His mind just lingers on your memory when you leave. Rohan’s thoughts merely turn to you when introducing a noticeably beautiful character in Pink Dark Boy. And it’s nothing special that he gets agitated when he doesn’t see you for a few days.

While you put him out of your mind (the thought of him is far too flustering), Rohan’s lingers on your more and more. The glances he throws at you dwadle, observant in the way you’ve been for months.

Standing in the front hall of Rohan’s home, your body is leaning against the wall while you pull your shoes on. The sun hangs low in the sky, kissing the horizon line. A pinkish blush spreads across Morioh Cho, dusk signaling the end of your work day. While making your effort, footsteps travel from the top floor and down the stairs.

Lifting your head, a smile spreads across your face when meeting your boss’s gaze. He’s made his way to the bottom of the stairs, stopping a comfortable distance in front of you. “Taking a break?” you ask gently.

“For a short while,” he confirms, before adding in a mumble, “Although I know you’d lecture me about working late.”

“You said it, not me,” you jest, straightening your back upright after slipping on your shoes. You fold your hands behind you, long coat softly swaying as you momentarily rock back and forth on your feet.

“Only so you don’t say it yourself.” Rohan crosses his arms, shifting his weight onto his right foot.

“Because you prefer the sound of your own voice?”

Rohan opens his mouth, only to close it anticlimactically a moment later. His brows furrow, and eyes dart away from your person. Biting the inside of his cheek puffs out his lips subtly.

It’s times like this that you wished you were the artist. He’s so insistent on capturing reality, in all it’s forms. But he’d be your muse of choice. Yet he neglects that he’s a work of art himself, you mentally note with an audible giggle.

Rohan’s demeanor changes, his pondering expression morphing into a curious one. It merely strengthens your smile.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Rohan,” you finally speak.

“Yes, of course,” he replies dismissively, as if it was redundant of you to mention.

Chuckling once more, you move forward. The mangaka’s breathing catches in his throat when you wrap your arms around him, and forehead collides with his chest. The hug is short, but noticeably warm.

You pull away far too quickly, waving him ‘goodbye’ and going on about buying him a St. Gentleman’s sandwich for lunch the following day while walking out the door. Rohan merely nods, watching the front door delicately shut behind you.

He’s stunned. Unmoving in his spot, only his eyes blink dumbfoundedly. Is he really going to head upstairs like nothing happened? Even now? Just continue working a few more hours of the night away? Maybe he should mull you over in his mind for a moment or two. Maybe for a couple of minutes. The way he’s starting to feel around you may not be a problem, but it certainly is something isn’t it?

He bites his lower lip, silently cursing your name. He attempts to ward away the rising heat on his cheeks with a shake of his head. For once, he’s glad he cannot use his stand to read his own mind. Because even without such ability, he has no doubt it would clearly state that The Great Rohan Kishibe has grown much to close to his assistant.

[doctorofmagic]

Final thoughts on a lovely journey

*deep inhale*

Please, come inside and sit with me for a moment while we discuss this final issue.

In all my years as a Stephen stan, I’ve never felt this happy to see HIM happy, cared for, surrounded by such meaningful and deep love. I had many beautiful moments so far *coughcough hellfire gala/savage avengers* but this one means the world to me, mostly because he’s reunited with the love of his life.

Love has always been the fundamental force that drives his very existence. He has never healed from the guilt and sadness for watching Clea leave. He couldn’t forgive himself and fell into self-destructive behavior, which later worsened and culminated in depression in the shape of Mr. Misery.

Stephen hasn’t been happy in a VERY long time by our standards of time. It was never clear that he and Clea were in good terms after Sorcerer Supreme by the end of the 90′s and Defenders v2/The Order, but he did go through A LOT ever since she left to lead the rebel army. After the conclusion of Sorcerer Supreme, he made a few cameos here and there until he was adopted by Bendis in New Avengers v1 and v2. He was loved by his teammates but he also made tons of mistakes due to his actions in the Illuminati. He could never forgive himself after what he did to the Hulk, and abusing dark magic only made him feel even more miserable, turning his back to Wong and Linda and embracing once and for all his self-destructive instincts in order to atone for his sins and mistakes.

Hickman’s New Avengers and Secret Wars were no different. They were a downhill towards his own perdition and posterior tragic death by the hands of one flawed man he loved to a fault.

And then v4 happened, the lowest Stephen has ever faced. Alone, fighting himself to preserve a friendship and struggling with his own flaws: his need to be in control, his insecurity, his white and half lies. He was NOT in a good place.

V5 was an exception because, well, not a good portrayal, let alone when it comes to continuity, although he did severe his relationship with Clea.

And then Jed had all the diligence to fix pretty much 30 years of pain, loneliness and Stephen’s inaptitude to be open about his feelings. In fact, Jed is more than willing to work hard and deep into Clea and Stephen’s marriage, and that’s the most important part of this last issue in my opinion.

Because, you see, it’s not the first time they merged and became one. There was one time when Dormammu and Umar forced them and it was pretty much a nightmare. But aside from that, it has always been consented by bonding their souls (with tons of implied sexual semantics, of course). Still, the point is, they deal with magic. I always mention that the magic community is deeper than any other bond in the Marvel universe, mostly because they tap into the spirit and essence of things. So love here... Sure, it’s demanding and takes lots of work, conversation, understanding, patience. On the other hand, when it comes to magic... It’s hard to explain but it’s pretty much how I personally feel about love. It goes beyond the limitations of the physical instance. It connects you to other person in such overwhelming levels of intimacy and trust. It’s not something that should be taken lightly because it goes DEEP.

And that’s precisely what Clea and Stephen’s relationship is all about. Jed, Ferreira, Poggi, Tartaglia, Petit and Garbett did a wonderful job in portraying the depth of this feeling. And it’s just so amazingly done that even when they merge in the being called Strange, they're not 100% on the same page. And this is literally what a deep and meaningful relationship represents. You’re not one with your S/O. You’re your own person. Your relationship creates a strong bond, but you and your partner(s) will disagree on many issues. You will have to find the balance between your needs and the sacrifices you’ll do along the way. Then again, it’s not just about romance. It’s a never-ending mutual journey of growth.

In short? Stephen and Clea are one, but also different in their own uniqueness. And they’ll have tons of work ahead to find said balance. Which is amazing because you don’t see this kind of approach in comic books very often. It’s mature and it reflects how far they’ve come together.

Strange actually reminds me of Garnet and Rupphire, and all the lessons we learned by watching their journey. Steven says Garnet makes it look so easy, to be in a stable relationship. But only Ruby and Sapphire know the ups and downs of their shared lives. And the struggles can only be overcome through kindness, acceptance, conversation, trust, and so many other details that come along with love.

It’s not supposed to be easy, but it IS rewarding. It IS special. It’s fuel to the soul and dew to the world.

Those were humble words to show my gratitude. It’s not just a reunion, but it’s healthy, mature and deeply meaningful. And it really means the world to me that Stephen is happy. It really does. So thank you. A thousand times thank you.

FIN

[coramatus]

A Unovan in NYC outline snippet

A reunited Emmet and Ingo slowly figure some things out between them.

Meanwhile, Emmet is helping a freshly washed Ingo get set up for the night. He insists that Ingo take the bed and he’ll sleep on the floor. Ingo tries to insist that he has a bedroll and will be more comfortable on the floor anyways, not wanting to steal Emmet’s bed. They go back and forth on this before Emmet sighs and throws his bedding on the floor. Ingo is startled, wondering what he’s doing when Emmet declares that they’ll both have to sleep on the floor. He offers Ingo a cheeky grin. This way they get to sleep side by side again!

As Emmet sets up both his and Ingo’s sleeping spots, Ingo feels more hesitant about everything. He’s unsure of where he fits in Emmet’s life anymore. Hell, he hadn’t remembered he even had a sibling until Arceus told him he needed to go fetch him barely a day ago. The fact that he needed to physically see Emmet to finally remember his name makes him feel intensely guilty.

Emmet senses Ingo’s brooding and asks him what’s up. Ingo tries not to worry Emmet and just says he’s just thinking. Emmet considers this for a moment before reassuring Ingo that he already knows about the amnesia.

Ingo is shocked, wondering how Emmet knew, to which Emmet explains that he found a book on Old Hisui that had a few passages on him, one of which mentioned his memory loss. Ingo says he isn’t sure whether to be relieved that he doesn’t need to offer a painful explanation or uncomfortable that someone saw fit to give him a place in history.

To his confusion, Emmet makes a weird face, snorting that someone else saw fit to do even more than that for Ingo. Ingo asks what he means but Emmet brushes it off, saying he’ll explain when they aren’t so tired. He pats the bedding, telling Ingo to get over here and go to sleep.

As Emmet slips under the covers and settles in, Ingo sets his things aside. He quietly looks around Emmet’s room, noting how well his brother settled into this world. He finds pictures of unfamiliar train designs and subway system maps mixed with curious, marked up charts of unknown stats. Although for a universe without Pokémon, Emmet sure seems to have a curious number of Pokémon-themed trinkets scattered about…

After turning off the light, Ingo slips in next to Emmet. His brother is quick to affectionately bump shoulders with him. He asks how Ingo is doing, to which Ingo replies that he’s a bit overwhelmed. This is a lot to take in all at once, this universe, this city, even Emmet is a lot for him to handle. Emmet seems sad at this and asks Ingo if he can hug him. Ingo is quick to agree, which brightens Emmet’s mood. Emmet considers that a good sign that Ingo is more than ready for Emmet to return to his life. As Ingo thinks about it, Emmet rolls over to hug him, snuggling against him with a happy sigh.

“I missed you so much,” Emmet says, his voice hitching with emotion.

Ingo isn’t sure what to say until he’s struck by a dawning realization.

“This entire time, I couldn’t remember you… I… I still missed you too, Emmet,” he whispers in awe. A sheen of tears builds in Ingo’s eyes as he pulls back to stare at his brother’s dimly lit face in open wonder, as if he’s truly seeing him for the first time. He raises his hand to gently cradle the side of Emmet’s face in his palm, his calloused thumb brushing over his brother’s cheek. Choked with pain, his words border on a sob, “Everyday, it hurt how much I missed you. But I didn’t even know I was in pain until I finally got you back.” Ingo softly bumps his forehead against Emmet’s, his voice brimming with an overjoyed smile, “Emmet, it doesn’t hurt anymore.”

Emmet whimpers with a wet sniffle, his tears freely flowing as he presses his forehead back against his brother’s.

They hug again, unwilling to let each other go, even as they doze off together into a sound slumber.

[cutelittleriot]

Return to origin chapter 9

Sorry for a short chapter but Branch has a tail now horray! Now time for Poppy to get whacked with the angst stick.

Branch groans as he wakes up.

What happened to him the last thing he rembered was......pain......so much pain.....he doesn't even remember ever being in that much pain ever in his life.

He was doing as ok as he could but when all of sudden the pain had just skyrocketed in one go and he could hear himself screaming and while he was screaming he could hear his own bones crunch and snap and all of that. He would have taken a look but all that pain and screaming just took it out of him and he must have passed out.

There is only a slight ache in his legs now but he could move them now without having horrible pain being his reward for moving them so that's good.

Looking around he sees that Poppy is still asleep although it looks like she had some trouble sleeping if the messed up sleeping bag was any indicator.

Quietly he grabs his robe and gets out from bed when two things happen at once.

He is greeted with a dull ache at the base of his spine. He also looses his balance for some reason like there was somethingnwrong with his.....legs.

Luckily he manages to land back onto his bed. Trying again he tries to walk but is having a very difficult time to walk like something wasn't right so he has to lean on the wall for support as he makes his way out to get a better look at himself. Turning on the light in his bunker he couldn't believe his eyes.

"My legs.....what happened to my legs?!" He quietly exclaims not wanting to wake up Poppy. Gone were his normal straight legs like all trolls well most trolls have and instead were now digigrade shaped like a....a animal.

"Why" He asks himself as his ears lower in sadness. Why does this have to happen to him? Doesn't he get enough bad stuff dealt to him in life already?

Sighing he knows he has to learn to walk with these new legs of his. He keeps trying for 10 minutes and each attempt has him falling on his butt which also gives him a sharp jolt of pain at the base of his spine.

What was he doing wrong? He has been trying to walk like he would normally. Wait maybe that's the problem he shouldn't walk like he had normal feet anymore. Thinking of animals with feet similar to his new ones he begins to try and walk putting more weight on just around his pawpads mostly leaving his heels off the ground.

To his delight it works and he is finally able to take a few steps without falling. Still something feels wrong with the way he walks like something was missing but he can't guess what. Deciding to take a break for now he heads to his couch to relax and maybe yo see what was causing him so much pain on his spine. Along with pain it also feels like pressure is there like something was building up getting ready to be released that's the only way he could describe the sensation.

Laying down on his stomach as when he lays on his back or just sitting in general hurts he feels around where the pain is he stops when he feels a small lump. When he touches it can you guess what happens? Yep he is rewarded with pain!

"Can't I touch something without it hurting me?!" Branch was really starting to get sick of this. Going to the bathroom he takes a better look and it's just a small lump barely bigger than one of his pawpads. It's the same color as his fur so it shouldn't be noticeable as it's covered up by his shorts.

Sighing he isn't in the mood to cook anything right now he will if Poppy wants some when she wakes up but right now he just wants to lay down on the couch and be left alone and maybe nap a bit he doesn't know with all the stuff that's been going on he just feels overwhelmed.

Laying on his side he decides to get out the notebook he was working on and get to writing. He might have gone into great detail about the last stage he went through but it's needed. No troll should ever go through that pain. He remembers that Poppy is going to go through that exact same agony tomorrow he needs to be ready for it.

While writing the pressure that was at the base of his spine finally releases and he let's out a sigh of relief that it's gone when all of a sudden.

*Riiiip*

Ears perked up at the sound of ripping fabric he quickly reaches back only to fell something that was soft and fluffy and it was.....moving? Why could he feel his paw grabbing whatever it was that he was grabbing?!

He scrambles to the bathroom falling a few times still getting used to his new legs he looks around and has to do a double take to see if he was seeing was correct. He even washes his eyes with water and looks again and yep it was still there.

'Is that a tail?!' He so desperately wants to scream just how much more was he going to change?! It's one thing to have paws now it's another whing to have your legs rearrange their shape but it's a whole other situation when you grow a new appendage!

The tail is small at the moment it is currently wiggling a little as its only the size of one of his fingers. It's teal with black stripes in the middle of it. "Just put me out of my misery now" He groans having a tail is going to be so emberassing. And since the tail still aches he knows it's going to get bigger and longer and he isn't looking forward to it. He tries to move it but since it's so small nothing happens it seems to have a mind of its own.

He decides to just wallow in misery on his couch while writing in his notebook. It's around lunchtime when Poppy finally exits his room rubbing her eyes from sleep. "Hey Branch" She greets not like her usual happy self.

"Hey Poppy" He greets back. She goes over and makes herself a glass of oj. "Are you alright? I mean your not your usual cheery self?" He asks concerned for his girlfriend. "Its just....what I saw happen to you yesterday well.... I....I don't think I will ever be able to erase those sounds or that image in my mind. And that very same thing is going to happen to me tomorrow.I'm scared Branch I really am" She admits.

"You won't need to worry Poppy now that we know what to expect I will help you in whatever way I can I promise you that. I would pinkie promise but well this isn't the best setting for one" He says showing how serious he was.

She gasps at that as Branch doesn't ever make pinkie promises so he truly does mean it. She smiles at how caring he was being to her and she can't believe how lucky she is to have a boyfriend like him.

She looks back down at her feet seeing the pink pawpads that were growing at the moment. She knows tomorrow is the last day she will ever see them the way they are right now.

She heads back over to the couch "So anything new this morning?" She asks him. Before he can answer his traitorous tail makes a appearance by wagging as he looks at his gf. It has grown alot since this morning now it's almost to the back of his knees and it's almost at thick as his arms. He had felt it earlier and it was mostly fluff though.

Poppy gasps and near drops her cup. Her boyfriend now has a tail....he has a tail. He looks at her and it seems her mind is having trouble processing his new limb that he is quickly growing to dislike. "Branch.....you have a tail" Poppy says stating the obvious. "Yes I do" He replies back waiting for he knows what's to come next.

"I thought you having pawpads and paws was cute but this.....this takes the cake!" She says grabbing his tail making him yelp as she accidentally pulls on it just a bit by accident. Turns out his new limb is sensitive at the moment but hopefully with time it won't be as so.

Quickly she let's go apologizing before gently holding it and beginning to pet it. "Oh wow Branch it's so soft" she says amazed as she continues to pet his tail and he will not admit to her that it feels nice when she pets it.

"Wait....that also means I'm getting one! I hope it will be this fluffy!" She says excited for when her tail grows in. She begins to come up with ideas as to how she could style her tail even though they don't know if it will even look like his when it grows in.

As she says ideas he realizes he now has to cut holes in each of his pants to accommodate this new limb of his. Great just great, he gets up and heads to his closet and grabs some scissors along the way. Meanwhile Poppy is back to working on her scrapbook and soon enough all of his pants have holes in them.

After Poppy gets done with her scrapbook chapter she can't decide what to do next and is quickly becoming bored. "Braaaaanch I'm booored" She complains. "There's nothing we can do, you can't leave remember until this transformation situation is over" He reminds her and she just groans. "How about we get ready for tomorrow?" He suggests and she tilts her head confused.

"I mean gets get everything prepared for well...what's going to happen tomorrow. I got some pain medicine to help relieve it..well hopefully and we need to refreeze those icepacks cause they really did help me early on. And we also will need a......makeshift gag. Cause something tells me we are going to need one if my screaming was any indicator as to how bad it is" He explains and she nods.

It takes a few hours but soon they were both prepared for the inevitable onslaught of pain that was headed Poppy's way. They both give eachother a high five at their work and Poppy gives Branch a hug. "Thank you so much for doing for me Branch I really mean it" She thanks him and he return her hug.

"Its no problem you were there for me when I was hurting and now I'm gonna do the same for you" He says and she giggles confusing him. "What?" He asks confused. "Your tail is wagging" She says pointing to the still wagging appendage that now reaches his ankles. The tail as if sensing his anger stops and simple goes flat.

Yep he is going to hate this new limb alot,it shows how he feels all the time and the worst part is that it isn't even prehensile so he can't hold stuff with it! At least he can store stuff in it he found that out after doing some light testing on it so that's a good thing but still! He can only imagine the teasing he is going to get when he returns to the village and they see his new form.

It was getting late so he makes them some dinner and they both head to bed. "Hey Branch?" Poppy asks him. "Yeah?" He replies back. "Again thank you for this tomorrow could not come any faster I swear" Poppy jokes before turning over in her sleeping bag.

Smiling at his girlfriend he lays on his side as his new tail prevents him from sleeping on his back comfortably he tries to sleep he needs to be awake and ready to help Poppy tomorrow.

He soon falls asleep but his dreams are plagues by Poppys screams.

Sorry for a short chapter but Branch has a tail now horray! Now time for Poppy to get whacked with the angst stick.

Branchs tail is basically a raccoon tail only fluffier cause I saw art of him having one and I went yes.

His tail isn't prehensile but it's fluffy enough to where it can be used to store items sort of like trolls hair.

Branchs tail is basically a raccoon tail only fluffier cause I saw art of him having one and I went yes.

His tail isn't prehensile but it's fluffy enough to where it can be used to store items sort of like trolls hair.

Here is what Branch looks like now