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listentothelittlebird · 4 years ago

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This was a first draft to Protect Our Own, from my Code Bat series on Ao3! It’s a reimagining of Jason Todd breaking into Titans tower, in a world where Robin is a myth and Tim Drake goes by Alvin, unnamed vigilante, with the Titans. Enjoy!

Shit. Jason was screwed.

Even as he held the tablet in his hands, watching the very concerning stalker-level footage that the League had gathered, he knew. He knew without a doubt that he was watching the new Robin. The target chosen for him was, of all the options the world could give him, Robin.

“This boy is a member of a group of young superheroes known as Young Justice. They recently went under the mentorship of older superheroes, to become the newest team of Teen Titans,” Talia Al Ghul explained passively, and Jason did not like the gleam in her eyes as she watched the young boy fight, “Lady Shiva met the boy, once, and agreed to train him. Even she is unaware of who his previous mentors were.”

Thank goodness for small mercies.

Then Talia turned to Jason. “You have done an admirable job of controlling your Pit Madness,” she smiled sharply, and Jason was reminded of all the deaths he had caused, all the people who had taught him and were murdered by him, using their own tactics, “And you have learnt fast. As promised, you will complete one contracted kill, and you will be released to exact your own revenge.”

Jason gave himself a mental pat on the shoulder, because even in the early days of crazed anger, not once had he given proper clues towards the fact that his killer - the one he wanted to exact his revenge upon - was the Joker himself. “White-faced asshole” could just be a white man, and “fucking green-haired piece of shit” could still just apply to anyone with green hair.

The Robin secret was still safe, surprisingly. Code Bat was still safe.

The assassin base was in the middle of nowhere, but there was still a little town nearby, with enough reception to surf the internet on a phone he had nicked from a particularly rich-looking traveller.

Talia did not control what he knew, the League did not control what he knew, so even while he learnt of the Joker still being alive, he also learnt about the helicopter crash, how Batman had purposefully fled empty-handed. Truthfully, he still wanted the Joker dead - but he recognised that there was a chance that no matter how many times they tried, the bastard would come back. He would rather not try than to get stuck in a never-ending loop, something that B- that Bruce must have realised.

There were other stories he found. Jason could not deny destroying several rooms in the base when he read the kid’s story. All the money in the world, and his very-much-alive parents could care less than Jason’s own barely-there mother had.

He had not known if the boy had taken up the mantle after him, but he was unsurprised at the confirmation in front of him. Robin was as much a part of the Wayne family as champagne, fancy suits and camera smiles.

“The boy is young, and already he is excelling in combat, research, and investigation. In a few years, he will be a real threat to the League. This is your final assignment. Kill the boy, and we will let you go.”

Well, fuck.

Jason carefully controlled his reaction, turning to meet Talia’s eye with his blue-green eyes. “You want me to kill a minor,” Jason spoke slowly, allowing his incredulity and a tinge of anger to slip into his voice.

“Either you take the job, or you will continue training, until another opportunity arises,” Talia replied evenly. Which meant anything from a week later to never.

Jason gritted his teeth, sucked in a deep breath, and pushed it all out at once. “When are we leaving?” he questioned. Talia’s grin was sharp, like a predator before their strike.

Double shit. This just got way more complicated.

Jason had bargained with Talia for a week of preparation work - a week to scout out the Titans tower, as if he had not memorised the layout of the old one. As if they had not built the new tower in the exact way as the old one had been.

“We will have League members surrounding the building,” Talia announced, a day after they had landed in the city. Jason raised an eyebrow at her.

“We are curious as to who has trained this boy,” Talia explained, “Subdue the boy’s teammates, and make him vulnerable. Don’t block radio transmissions. If the boy has maintained contact with his mentor, they would come running at their call.”

Jason cursed inwardly, keeping his face carefully blank as he nodded his assent.

He had to play this right.

“I don’t trust this,” Bruce rumbled for the fourth time, in full Batman mode despite being in a casual sweater and sweatpants.

Dick hummed along, casting a concerned glance Tim’s way.

On the table was a note, delivered through an unassuming envelope.

It stated a date and specific hour, and, Don’t call the Code.

“The code,” Tim mumbled, “Like, Code Bat? There’s no way they’d know that, though, right?”

The note was written on red paper, flecked with green and yellow. Tim’s tone was wavering, lacking its usual confidence. He was always so sure when it came to cases, but this?

“What’s happening at this time?” Dick wondered. Bruce pulled up his own schedule for the following week, and Tim mentally went through his own plans. Nothing of note, but-

“I’ll be in Titans tower,” Tim stated aloud, and there were gears turning in his brain. Wild gears that were nearly off their hinges, but they were the same gears that had made the Batman-is-Bruce-Wayne connection, and he had learnt to trust them.

“Is someone trying to warn us?” Tim voiced, “I get a lot of speculation from the public, about what my official superhero name is, but also where I came from, who I trained with. What if it’s not just the internet wondering?”

Bruce pursed his lips in thought. He turned to Tim, his eyes hard and determined in that certain manner that meant he was being overprotective.

“No,” Tim blurted, “I’m not staying at the Manor during that specific timeframe.” Bruce shut his mouth and blinked down at his adopted son.

“Whoever this is, they risk being found out if I don’t show up,” Tim gestured to the note, “It might just escalate from there, anyway, if we prolong whatever is supposed to happen.”

“It could be a trap,” Dick pointed out, and now he too had taken up the overprotective undertones of discomfort. Tim squared his shoulders and smiled reassuringly. “I’ll be fine,” he promised, “I’ll stay in the tower. Besides, all my teammates will be there. If anything happens, they’re right there.”

Bruce and Dick exchanged worried glances, but eventually Bruce sighed and clasped a hand on Tim’s shoulder. “Code Bat has always been for your safety,” Bruce stated firmly, “I don’t care if our enemies find out about us - if it gets out of hand, if it looks like a trap, call us.”

The morning of the date stated on the note, Tim found another one in his Teen Titans bedroom.

They want you dead. Play along.

What jolted Tim was the symbol at the bottom right corner of the note - it was one of the made-up symbols that Dick had taught him. The symbol on the note meant “burn after reading”.

The handwriting was not Dick’s, nor was it Bruce’s. It was cursive, almost like Alfred’s, but it was also much more scrawled and uneven, like someone still unpractised in writing.

The gears in Tim’s brain must have really come unhinged this time, because the only name it could conjure was Jason. Jason was dead.

Tim was quietly uptight right until the hour came. He almost did not realise his teammates were being picked off, meticulously, skillfully, one by one. Almost.

Tim still had yet to press his emergency beacon. He had not activated Code Bat. He wanted to see where this went, before anything else.

Then the mysterious attacker descended on him, a blur of black and the smallest glimpse of white, and Tim was fighting for his life.

The man moved like an assassin - Tim had met some League of Assassins members, back when he had trained with Lady Shiva. He moved like them, but there was also something else to his movements.

Tim dodged a hit, and that was too short to be aiming for his throat, that would have been a non-lethal hit-

The man was not aiming to kill. He fought like Batman. He fought like one of them.

Tim opened his mouth, made to say something, although he was unsure what. He was swept off his feet before he got the chance.

“Who trained you, kid?” the voice growled, and it was a deep voice that should have unnerved him, but something struck him as familiar. The drawl, the barely-there accent.

Jason, his brain screamed.

Real answers, please, Tim pleaded.

The man pulled him by his tunic collar, and he shifted to pull him towards his face. There was a glint of metal on the man’s uniform - a recording device.

“Who are you?” he growled again, with Tim pulled close.

Tim got a good look at the man’s face, and while he instinctively bantered back, he was internally reeling. Looks like his gears were working, after all.

“Just a kid with a dream,” Tim smirked, a crooked smile already leaking some blood.

Jason - because this man was Jason, somehow, how was Jason alive - interrogated Tim while punching him out. His blows hurt for sure, but Tim swore that he was aiming for the areas that would cause the least injuries. He swore that when he grunted as a rib was broken, Jason had paused minutely, cringing slightly, before he barreled on.

Something was placed on his chest.

“Say goodnight, kid,” Jason sing-songed, and there was the sound of a gun cocking. Tim barely registered that when the gun shot, it had shot at him. There was the hard thump of something near his chest, just above his chest, but it had barely touched his tunic.

Jason tapped a finger-signal, a “stay low and don’t move”, and Tim remained where he was. He waited as footsteps receded, waited for several minutes, with a bag of fake blood leaking from his chest, bruises and other injuries blooming in pain underneath his uniform.

He felt rather than heard the presence appear beside him. The looming figure crouched down and gingerly maneuvered Tim into a firm grasp.

His “assassin” stared down at him. He had switched out his black assassin get-up for casual clothing. He was… tall. Built like Bruce. His eyes were different, too, and he had a white lock of hair curling just above his eyebrows. Yet…

“Jason?” Tim croaked out, and Jason Todd smirked. Tim knew that smirk - Robin wore it a lot, when he watched him. “You better be damn glad no one can hear you, anymore,” Jason gruffed, and started moving with Tim in his grasp, “Let’s go somewhere else, though, for good measure.”

They ended up in Tim’s room - sound-proofed, and therefore the safest location in the tower for this conversation.

“You’re alive,” Tim blurted out, as Jason dressed his wounds. His hands stuttered before resuming their work. “I died,” Jason stated flatly, “And I dug myself out of my own grave. Talia found me, and threw me into a Lazarus Pit.”

Jason raised his eyes to meet Tim’s, and Tim could see the eerie green glow in his eyes.

“Don’t tell Bruce about me,” Jason rushed out, and Tim immediately jumped to object, but Jason was faster, “Don’t. Listen, I-” Jason breathed deeply, “I’ve killed, alright? I’ve broken his big rule and all that jazz. I might still find myself going back to the streets of Gotham, but to the Manor? I’m not ready to face that shit.”

Jason paused for real this time, having finished taking care of Tim’s more visible injuries. He cringed.

“You should get Alfie to check you out, just in case you have internal bleeding or whatever the fuck I gave you,” Jason waved his hand around uselessly, “Lie low for a few days, alright? I need to make myself scarce. They’ll find out I didn’t follow through with the deal, and I’ll need to have disappeared, by then.”

Tim was silent for a few long moments. “Will I see you again?” Tim finally asked, his eyes wide and hopeful, “They miss you, you know? We miss you. We all do.”

Jason swallowed, and blinked back the water gathering in his eyes. “How can you miss me?” he chose to ask, “S’not like you knew me very well, before… well, before.”

Tim grinned, bright and eager.

“You once snuck out for patrol on your own,” Tim informed him, “And got stuck on a rooftop that you flipped onto with your grappling hook, because the other buildings around you were all too far away to grapple towards. You had to slide down the water pipes and run across an empty street to make your way back home.”

Jason sputtered, because that had happened, he did remember that, but when the heck did he hear about it?

“How the hell do you know that?” Jason asked, unable to keep his dismay from leaking into his voice.

“I’ll tell you when I next see you,” Tim smiled cheekily. Smartass.

Jason checked the time. “Your Superboy buddy will be waking up soon,” Jason reported, “Don’t come looking for me, alright? I’ll… I’ll return to Gotham soon. I just have to make sure the League’s off my back.”

Jason got up and hesitated. “When I return to Gotham,” he warned, “I’ll come in guns blazing. There’ll be deaths. It won’t be pretty. Just- just stay out of my way.”

It would have been more convincing, if Jason had not spent the last thirty minutes treating Tim’s wounds.

“Who are you?” Tim called abruptly, Jason hovering at the door, “You come in and take us all out, one by one. They’d want a name. Who are you?”

Jason smirked sharply.

“Red Hood,” he droned, “Call me Red Hood.”

He slinked away, and like a true Bat, was out of the tower in seconds.

#Jason Todd #Tim Drake #bruce wayne #dick grayson #talia al ghul #fanfic #BatFam #straight from the trash doc #I seriously hyperfixated on this series for three months and haven't wrote anything since

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thegirlfulloffandoms · 3 years ago

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please list the jatp characters in order of whos the biggest simp? explanations welcome but not required

Luke for me is one hundred percent biggest simp there is no question about it in my mind,he simps for music (understandly its mint and as someone with a music hyperfixation i completely get it), he simps for Julie whether she's singing or simply talking about her day,and no doubt he simps for Willie and most certainly he simps for his band (romantically or platonically that depends on the fan) the connection they have through music and personally (even if he is a little off with his helping sometimes aka: reminding the boys of their trauma in the beach scene etc).

Willie is a simp but its more a case of everyone simps for him but he doesn't simp for everyone,he is a 'dedicated simp' his simping is directed towards one person really which is Alex,like luke could play the drums shirtless and willie would say it's rad but if Alex plays the drums shirtless or in general Willie absolutely freezes up like he was just put into a vat of liquid nitrogen and absolutely bluescreens.

Alex i would put around the same league as Willie,he is less dedicated to one person i mean you can't tell me that man saw 90s boy bands and skaters and didn't completely bluescreen,that boy is a blushing baby tomato when it comes to Willie specifically though,this was a difficult choice let me tell you. Couples that simp together slay together okay.

Reggie is what i would call an unconscious simp,he's not the biggest (although the 'that was hot' scene certainly shows it) but also not the least simpy if that makes sense? The boy simps platonically,hes the kind to give compliments because he's a nice person,not because he's a simp per say,if you're hot he'll tell you in most cases. He could also be classed as a dedicated simp if you're a boggie shipper (totally not me) like have yall got eyes? have you seen young Bobby?!

Flynn is a simp but its more general (i know some might disagree on this but hear my 5'2 short ass out aight),she has her moments when it comes to the boys,'mama needs her eye candy','where have you been hiding those cute ghost boys' but quickly becomes an aquaintance/friend with them and its more like these are my friends weird band mates and the more i spend time with them the more i realise maybe friendship is a good line to draw it at (see the reggie/flynn plot that was orginally gonna be in the show). The boys over time become more like her friends annoying brothers sort of thing. Carrie might be a different story though (STAN FLARRIE)

Nick: (some of yall gonna disagree on this one i know it) that boy isn't really a simp,and the reason for that is HE IS DOING THE BARE MINIMUM A GUY SHOULD DO! he has a crush on julie i am not denying that however that boy accepts that Julie likes someone else or doesn't want to go on a date with him,although he's jelous of Luke he doesn't push about it (the flowers could be classed as that but i see that as just congratulations rather than like 'hey julie marry me im a simp for you my everglowing flower'). Nick is what a guy should be,respectful and understand goddamn boundaries when they are set.

Julie i wouldn't really class as a simp other than for luke even though it took a lot of time for them to finally connect and for her to realise that she simps for his dedication to music etc. Julie isn't a fangirl like 'oh my god luke ride off into the sunset with me on a white horse like in a cheap fantasy rom com',Julie simps for drive,for passion,looks i feel are just a bonus.

Carrie is a simp but again very much like luke's simping for music,Carrie simps for luxury and to be on top like her father,live up to Trevors legacy rather than people as such (although i bet under the surface she misses the triple threat friendship.

Bobby i've put lower down the scale because we don't know very much about him but i can imagine he,again,like Willie, was the bands awakening in the 90s,everyone simps for him but he doesn't simp for everyone,with the exception of Reggie. Bobby doesn't simp really though,he genuinely cares about people so when he offers to help it's not simping rather saving and solving (problems and saving/helping his friends not solving his friends thats just wrong broski nuh uh). Bobby in my boggie brain though defo bluescreened when Reggie first wore the black tank.

I think that's all the characters i'm going to include,please remember this is just my opinion and it's fine to disagree but don't come into my ask box being nasty and stuff because that ain't nice. Feel free to ask me though about my list and anything else.

i love a good ramble so feel free to leave more things like this in my ask!

#jatp #thegirlfulloffandoms #ask

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askaceattorney · 4 years ago

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Dear youngbounty,

Co-Mod: I didn’t see any clones, but thanks!

Dear BDC,

Co-Mod: That idea sounds interesting, but unfortunately, I don’t know enough about Dangronpa to be able to pull that off. I can see if the other mods do, but I can’t promise anything more than that.

I agree with you about the Proto Badger, though. I hate him more than Dr. Eggman hates “that hedgehog.” Sadly, it looks like we’re stuck with him for now. Why couldn’t you have taken him with you, the Mod?

Dear MB,

Co-Mod: I’m glad (and impressed) that you were able to free yourself in such a creative way, but it’s all good. I used to do the same sort of mockery with submitters’ letters before someone pointed out its potential rudeness, since some of them don’t speak English as their first language, so I've got no room to complain. In fact, I’m a big stickler about getting my spelling and grammar correct, so please feel free to point out any errors you find.

Dear Anonymous,

Co-Mod: Which ones, specifically? I know that some of the ones from the Court Record are glitchy (and I failed to inform the new moderator about that), but I haven’t noticed anything unusual in any of the letters. Show me an example, and I’ll see what can be done about it.

(Previous Letter)

(Link in Letter)

Dear Anonymous,

Mod Vera: That’s a good point! I must have missed that Easter egg. I was also originally going to make a joke about Ga’ran needing wigs for herself, but decided to keep it to something closer to canon.

For real, though, with Maya, Iris, Inga, Ga’ran and now Dhurke, it’s really convenient for spirit channeling disguises that so many people in this world have long black hair!

(Previous Post)

Dear AnthonyDeadman,

Co-Mod: I don’t know if I used this sprite before, but it captures how I feel perfectly, so I’m going with it:

Wait, not that one. This one:

Actually, they’re both pretty accurate.

This letter means a lot to me, not just because I love knowing that my work and dedication have paid off in some way, but because I’ve been going through some serious struggles lately (more on that in a later post). Being part of a blog that brings fun characters from an fun video game series to life has been awesome enough, and watching it grow into something bigger than it was has been even more awesome, but being able to provide some much-needed opportunities to laugh, smile, and escape from reality during a time of sorrow, fear, and uncertainty has been nothing short of a blessing for me. Not to mention it’s helped me to enjoy life in new ways, so thanks for that, Capcom.

What I really appreciate, though, is you and so many others wishing me the best for the future. It just so happens that the future has been one of my biggest fears for a long time, so hearing this kind of support, even from people I don’t know, is precisely what I need right now. Allow me to offer my heartfelt thanks for it, and to wish each and everyone one of you the same. The world needs people who can withstand any sort of circumstance right now, so don’t give any less than your best!

Stay gold yourself, pal.

(Previous Post)

Dear mungeondaster,

Mod Vera: Aw, thank you so much! I’m really happy to be here, and to have Co-Mod help me learn the ropes. I also love Vera! Her appearance is brief, but I do love the withdrawn artist trope, especially with a Pearl-level ignorance of the outside world.

Plus her design is just so dang good! Almost as if she drew herself.

(Previous Letter)

Dear ajanisapprentice,

Mod Vera: Ahahaha, twas I who thought of that! I count that as my first report card as the new Mod!

(Previous Letter)

Dear mungeondaster,

Mod Vera: Oh, you know Nick relied on Maya’s budding big sister energy while he was figuring out single fatherhood. As Maya would say, he’s hopeless without her.

Though my personal favorite new headcanon is Pearls helping Gumshoe win Maggey’s heart. (I still need that fanfiction to happen!)

(The Previous Posts)

Dear yuesworld,

Co-Mod: It’s great to hear from you again! Dang, it’s hard to believe your first letter was sent 2 years ago. (As if turning 30 didn’t make me feel old already...)

I both appreciate and admire your dedication toward translating the letters we’ve answered here. I hope you’re able to continue doing so in one way or another, but even if you aren’t, I’m still glad you’ve been so willing to share our character portrayals with a broader audience. In fact, we might even have you to thank for part of our increased follower count, so thanks just in case!

I’m glad you enjoyed the essays, too. I honestly hadn’t considered the possibility that I’d have to write some of those myself after the Mod left, but I’ve had some fun with them, and I hope they helped to make the characters they were about more enjoyable, or at least more interesting. I’m still planning to finish the remaining requests after my departure, by the way. Hopefully I’ll be able to post them a little more frequently than before.

I’m happy to report that I’ve been staying healthy and well (although I feel like I keep dodging bullets with people around me getting infected), and I hope the same can be said for you and for everyone else reading this. I won’t lie, things have been tougher than usual for practically every human being lately, even aside from the pandemic. Thankfully, we have someone who’s all too familiar with trials and tribulations to provide us with a helpful reminder:

That’s Phoenix speaking, by the way, in case you forgot.

In other words, this too shall pass, as the Persian adage goes. In the meantime, stay healthy yourself, and thanks for the reminder that we’re not alone in these challenges.

Dear AnthonyDeadman,

Mod Vera: Thank you so much! I’ve also been a fan of this blog for years, for almost as long as I’ve wanted to be a writer! It’s such a weird elated feeling, to go from being a fan of something to working on it. I almost feel like those people starting their first day at Pixar or something!

Mod Kristoph: Thanks for the kind response! I’ll be sure to get some letters in there when I get the chance!

Mod Paups: Thank you!

(Previous Letter)

(Video in Letter)

Dear BDC,

Co-Mod: Me too, except I’d add a few more “nope”s.

Mod Vera: Hahah, same. But I’ve have politeness so ingrained into my being, I’d probably throw in a few “no thanks” just to be safe.

-The Mods

#youngbounty #bluedragoncody #Anonymous #AnthonyDeadman #mungeondaster #ajanisapprentice #yuesworld #Mod Post #Co Mod #Mod Vera #Mod Kristoph #Mod Paups

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yandere-society · 5 years ago

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(ex)fuckboy maknae line hcs trying to convince the reader they're willing to settle down for her but the reader keeps refusing, not believing them.

admin / author: @an-ambivalent

Warning: This post contains yandere themes, abusive relationships, and the characters display other behaviours that can be triggering or uncomfortable to read. This is not for the light-hearted so read at your own risk. I do not believe any of the mentioned members would display any sort of this behaviour in real life and I do not condone this behaviour either. This work is purely fictional.

A/N: hello, I sort of used your prompt as a loose guideline. I tried to stick to what you asked for but some scenarios differ slightly from specific details of the request just because I think its good to have this scenario lead to various endings through different choices. Nonetheless, I hope you like it!

Jimin

It began with pleas.

“[Name] please, just listen to me,” Jimin begged, and he forcefully cornered you to the quieter side of the bar. He calculatedly situated you in between his body, and the wall to make sure you would not be able to get away.

He hovered over you threateningly, and it was a position you had long forgotten. However, just like unclean wounds that heal on the surface but deteriorate once they get exposed to the right stimulus once more, Jimin had returned in your life as the infection that would worsen the damage. The scars he left behind had not healed and now, would never heal because he was ready to inject the sick in you once again.

His touch lacked warmth and felt utterly icy – it was like sleeping with someone with hypothermia – he was going to steal your warmth for himself and then leave you shivering with his own coldness.

The long forgotten memory of his hurt had remained ingrained in your muscle memory. This was because you instinctively flinched as he grabbed your face with both of his hands firmly, and made you look up into his eyes.

Pathetic and utter desperation clinging onto the last remains of his sanity was strangely lustrous in his eyes.

“Baby, you haven’t been replying to my messages… That’s… You know I don’t like that,” He started, and as he spoke, his voice gradually lowered and his eyes narrowed into a glare. Momentarily, he ended up applying a bit more pressure on your face, and you visibly winced. Immediately, Jimin eased the amount of force he was applying on your face that could have potentially injured you.

“I, I’m a better person now so I’ll look over that this once. But I-I’m here because I’m ready to settle down with you now. I’m a changed man now I-I swear! I won’t exploit your trust ever again and I’m ready to commit myself. So, you’ll give me another chance won’t you [Name]?” He stammered, and although he was not gripping your face like a tyrant anymore, there was a dangerous glint of the devil etched in his eyes.

You shook your head.

“Doesn’t matter what promises you make now Jimin, it doesn’t change the toxicity and hurt you left me with. I– I can’t trust you, not after you cheated on me–”

“I only did that because I loved you too much! Because I was scared that you were so good for me

and that I was going to lose you!” He proclaimed, and in response, you scoffed. Fear forgotten, and with a new burning fire in your heart, you shoved Jimin off you.

“Go take that bullshit to someone else who’s stupid enough to believe you!” You snapped, and turned to walk away. However, Jimin grabbed you by the arm, and roughly pulled you back to him. With his warm breath fanning your ear – it was the warmth that he had started to seep off you without your realisation until this very moment when the cold shivers prickled your skin – his whispered threats killed the newfound determination you thought you had discovered within.

“I warned you I would only overlook you ignoring me that once. Do it again, or disobey me again, and I’ll upload your private little recorded videos from when we used to be together online.”

(Taehyung and Jungkook under the cut!)

Taehyung

The air in the atmosphere was tense, and the fact that Taehyung’ was close to reaching his breaking point, was evident in the way his irises were empty of emotions.

What was supposed to be a night of fun, something that would help you destress from all of the other ongoing stress in your life, had turned out to be the opposite; the situation was dire, and its’ twisted plot had just manifested the distress you wanted to get rid off in the first place.

“You thought I was just a fling?” He asked, and the way he spoke it was posed like a usual question, but you knew better. Beneath his seemingly calm state, there was a volcanic fury on the edge of bursting. The lack of emotion in his voice – a rare phenomena for Taehyung, made you gulp in nervousness. And this nervousness only manifested when you abruptly became aware of the fact that you were having this conversation while you were bare.

Feeling conscious about the physical aspect of your nakedness was never a problem with Taehyung. With his guaranteed experience that came hand-in-hand with his reputation of being a playboy, it never left any room for dissatisfaction. But much more than that, unlike with anyone else you had ever been with, he always took his time to appreciate – almost worship each aspect of your body. The concept of insecurity was nothing but a fleeting dream in the moments you were involved intimately with him. However, that was not the case right now. So, you could not help but pull the sheets around you closer to yourself, hoping they would provide you with some sort of comforting security.

“I– You can’t blame me for that can you? With your reputation, how am I supposed to think of this as anything else other than a fling?!” You responded, and the unintentional accusatory tone in your voice, caused Taehyung’s fingers to twitch in anticipation.

He really hoped you wouldn’t test his self-control again because he could only hold himself back for so long.

“I told you I loved you, and you said it back.”

“I– I thought it was an on the spur of the moment kind of thing,” You admitted sheepishly, and then all Taehyung started to see in that moment was red.

However, before he did something that would have worsened the situation for you or even himself, it was fortunate presently that you were willingly and had decided to speak just in the nick of time.

“I’m not opposed to becoming serious but I– honestly, I still have my doubts so if you’re willing to prove your loyalty and give me the time I need then we can try,” You offered honestly. Although, your suggestion was not his optimum response, it was better than what you said to Jimin in another alternative universe.

So, knowing that the situation could be better, but also could be worse, Taehyung decided this was okay… For now. In due time, once he proved himself to you, you were going to give him all of you, and nothing less.

He gave a smile that was strained ever so slightly.

“Sure, I’ll wait for you and do whatever it takes to gain your trust. I hope you willingly put the same effort that I do too.”

Jungkook

“You don’t really think you can leave without my permission, do you? Tell me you aren’t that stupid [Name],” Jungkook said, sighing. Then, he rubbed his temples as if to say that dealing with your shenanigans again was a headaching chore to deal with.

You bit your lip and shifted your gaze to the ground. The small packed bag you held in your hands that consisted of your necessities, was close to slipping out of your grip because your arms were trembling. Whether this was due to sorrow, fear, or both – you did not know.

“I, I don’t want to be with you anymore Jungkook. I can’t be with you! No matter how much I try to move on from what happened, I just, I can’t deal with it, it’s not healthy for me. You’re not healthy for me. P-Please just let me leave,” You pleaded, and the amount of unease you felt while pleading this, made you feel queasy.

Jungkook raised an eyebrow and scrutinized you with a judgemental stare, before he scoffed at you.

“How many times have we done this now? This is the third time you’ve brought it up. I told you I’m sorry for sleeping with others behind your back, and I promise I won’t do it again. What else do you want me to do?! I can’t go back in time and change the past. Get over it already,” He snapped, and you winced at the harsh loudness of his voice.

“Why are you so awful–” You started, but Jungkook cut you off.

“Why are you always nagging me about this? Did you ever stop to think that I slept with others out of my respect for your wishes?! You were the one who wanted to wait for your first time, so I respected your wishes and gave you the time until you were ready and fulfilled my own needs with someone else. And it meant nothing! Each time I slept with someone else it was always you I imagined, and after you became ready to sleep with me, I became ready to settle down with you,” Jungkook stated, and to him, what he said made perfect sense. He could not understand why you kept on bringing this up and not understand it by now.

And he was right in the way that you truly did not understand the logic behind his absurd reasoning. If anything, his logic left you feeling completely flabbergasted. The fact that he did not see anything wrong with his actions, and simply apologised for the sake of apologising and did not mean a word of it, repulsed you so much that you lost your touch with reality and were unable to grasp it.

Seeing the frozen look on your face prompted a sigh out of Jungkook, as he walked towards you. He grabbed your bag out of your hands with one hand, and one of your now free hands with his other.

He guided you back into your shared abode, reminding himself to arrange something that would prevent your attempts of escape permanently.

“It’s late at night, let’s sleep on this and talk about it tomorrow,” He said.

Jungkook decided he either had to lock you up so you could not get access to your belongings or any money to escape in the first place. Or he would need to induce memory loss to make you forget about the whole sleeping thing so you would stop bringing it up and live together with him in peace.

—-

I sort of associated fuck boy thing = cheating in this ;;

I sort of wrote and edited this (both) while being half-asleep so that may have contributed to some of the poorer writing ;_; I hope you enjoyed reading it nonetheless!

#yandere bts #yandere x reader #yandere makane line #yandere jimin #yandere taehyung #yandere jungkook #yandere jeongguk #jimin x reader #taehyung x reader #jungkook x reader #yandere kpop #obsession #possessive #yandere imagines #bts x reader #bts scenarios #bts reactions #bts imagines #ambivalent writes

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mantra4ia · 4 years ago

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Hello Bad Guys: Top tier Lucifer ‘villains’ s.1-4

August 5, 2020

One of Lucifer’s main weaknesses as a show is the episodic “cop procedural” not giving us a very long time to stew with the antagonists and really appreciate their villainy enough whether we love to hate them outright, or we really torn by their evil doing because the characters are layered. That being said, there are a few rare exceptions that add just the right amount of darkness to balance the devilish shenanigans of the show, to give depth to the stakes. I very much hope that we get more antagonist complexity in season 5. Villains are interesting in comic narratives and should be treated with care.

Lucifer: Tom Ellis delivers a masterful performance whether he’s being Saint Lucifer, or going on a truly vengeful bender. Although Lucifer is the central protagonist, when the show explores Lucifer at his darkest or most desperate, we get to see him at his most antagonistic. Two of the most recent examples are his against the Tiernan family in “Devil is as Devil does” when he breaks McCaffrey’s back and against his own brother Amenadiel when he lashes out at him trying to start fights. His one monologue against Amenadiel where he compares him to a masochist soul in hell - his “pointless existence...reminds me of you”- is still one of the most painful parts of the show to watch, like powerlessly watching a car wreck. That’s one of the reasons I am looking forward to him portraying Michael in s5, because not only will we get to see Mike brewing and developing hopefully long term over the whole season to get to know him, but Tom is so gifted at those chaotic nuances.

Malcolm played by Kevin Rankin: Celestials and supernaturals haven’t been the biggest baddies on Lucifer, which is good. I think Malcolm is so great as an antagonist because his character is 100% human, a corrupt cop (making Chloe vigilant about more corruption in the department), which grounds the show in reality despite other fantastical elements and shows how the scariest evil isn’t cosmic as much as the depth of depravity when people are consumed by greed. And when he comes back to life hell hungry / crazy as a fox, it’s legitimately scary because he’s unpredictable.

Maze played by Leslie Ann-Brandt: Again, although she is technically a protagonist, when Mazikeen is hellbent she is ferocious. Case and point when she teams up with Marcus, tortures Lucifer, and hurts Trixie. It’s hard to watch her spiral, but she does it spectacularly.

the decoy Sinnerman, Marcus’ associate played by Kevin Carroll. I believed he was menacing and committed to a life of crime, dude stabbed his own eye’s out with a pencil. I wish I got that intensity from Cain.

Mum / the Goddess played by Tricia Helfer: this character illustrates well, even as a larger than life cosmic entity, that you don’t have too be malicious or overtly intimidating to be an entertaining bad guy, just have a very clear motivation of what you want, misguided intentions, and a ruthless kind of tenacity to let nothing and no one stand in your way.

Perry Smith the prison warden played by Alex Fernandez: great bio (again, corruption in the prison system is both insidious and relevant) just not a very long arc.

Jacob Tiernan played by Jere Burns: I just love Jere Burns and I think that every actor from Justified should make an appearance on the show. Can you imagine? In all seriousness though, that human trafficking plot was hella grim. I wish we could have had a few more multi-ep arcs like that.

Oscar Rivas, the zealot from Los Xs played by Joseph Melendez: Jason Ning knows how write all the dark episodes! Season 4 “O, Ye of Little Faith ” sees Rivas go out by impaling himself on a stake. As far as murderous bad guy goes, literally nailed the dismount with insidious gore. The only disappointment was that this guy was a pawn of Father Kinley.

Honorable mention:

Nick Hoffman the paparazzo played be Jeremy Davies: I know he’s not a true villain as much as a painful antagonist from Chloe’s past, but I love his reckoning in her backstory. Did I mention how everyone on Justified should be on this show? Walton Goggins, pleeeasse be next.

Underwhelming baddies:

Amenadiel played by DB Woodside: before he became part of the Heavenly bros protagonists, I had really high hoping in season 1 that we would get more of Amenadiel as an enemy. We get great brotherly conflict from him to be sure, but apart from his first confrontation with Luci where he literally goes for the throat and the wing burning beach scene, there’s never a defining moment where we just get to hate him or say “Woah, that’s scary.” He’s just too charming to be worthy of that pilot line “I look forward to eating your heart one day” which was a stellar set up by the way. Which is why I love Amenadiel as a character, not as a baddie.

Uriel played by Michael Imperioli: I love Uriel, his power, his cleverness. I don’t think he was ever meant to be a conventional a bad guy. That’s not my disappointment. The underwhelming piece was that he was a 2-part setpiece for Lucifer’s character development (once in the flesh, once in the hellscape) rather than fully formed character

Father Kinley / Dromos the demon played by Graham McTavish: same problem I have with Cain (below). Father Kinley and Dromos are treated more as obstacles than threats. Granted, Dromos possessing Kinley is creepy, but not threatening although he’s meant to be ‘evil.’ Now Walton Goggins, he would have been a very scary vatican priest.

Lt. Marcus Pierce / Cain played by Tom Welling: Cain is an underwhelming big bad for me, specifically because we don’t get into the gritty of his past, just a lot of exposition that says but doesn’t show which makes it hard to connect the dots between tormented eternal, crime lord, and occasional straight arrow. It would be nice to get a sense of what triggers him to reinvent himself and what drives him to toe one side of the moral line or the other. We do get a flashback of him with the LAPD, but that’s when he’s on the right side of the law. I believe the motive that he wants to die, but the torture and mental instability of age that would lead into something menacing doesn’t translate on screen, just sad and bored Cain - therefore I don’t really believe him as an underground crime boss. Which is a shame, because I like Tom Welling, I enjoyed Marcus’ relationships with both Lucifer and Chloe, even the dynamic where he tries to use Chloe as a means to an end and has a change of heart. However, I never got the sense that the season arc knew where it was going with his villainy, and his descent back into crime near the end felt very unearned.

*21 Days of Lucifer Countdown: Here’s looking forward to the season 5 villains/antagonists. I cannot wait to meet Michael.*

#Lucifer Morningstar #mazikeen #marcus pierce #uriel #malcolm graham #lucifer on fox #Netflix Lucifer #villain appreciation #21 days of Lucifer

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festivecuriosity · 4 years ago

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[October 13, 2020]

♡ Mercury retrograde in Scorpio is happening tonight. I can already feel/see it's influence. It also doesn't help matters that my current household is primarily made up of Scorpios or Plutonian individuals (most of my roommates are "essential workers" like EMTs or caretakers). Brad (the most Scorpio of the house) has called for a rare consideration; that there be silence in the living room (communal space) when he comes home. He's never asked for that before. This feels very symbolic of Mercury Retrograde in Scorpio. A moment of silence in our otherwise very talkative household. Besides that, he's coming home right around the time MRX/Scorpio would be officially beginning.

♤ Identifying omens is part of my practice. It's one of my oldest, foundational, cornerstones of how I communicate with the Universe and my guides. When you notice something (really notice it) to the point that it stands out in your mind and you end up thinking on it all day, it is an "omen". A symbolic representation of the message the Universe is sending you. I was given an omen by the Universe yesterday as to the immediate future/Mercury RX in Scorpio. I was outside (smoking) when I saw a hawk soaring in the air, being pursued by two black crows, and navigating around their assaults. The hawk (personally) represents my spiritual vision/focus/accuracy. The two crows, I believe, represented thoughts that attack my focus. I.e. Huginn and Muninn, thought and memory. Although, Huginn and Muninn are technically ravens. Not crows. I still think the message from the Universe is to tame my PTSD/where my mind goes/stay focused on my goals instead of letting my negative thoughts pick at me.

Also kind of reminds me of the qliphothic sphere/inverted sphere of Netzach. Where the "crows" pick at the beauty of Source. Another reminder to keep my inner criticism from attacking my spiritual focus/my ability to see the beauty in my life and self.

Two other people in the household got omens on the same day as me. One person got a vulture eating roadkill on the side of the road, the other got a brown cricket. Since the vulture means rebirth and ressurection through shadow work, I think the household is going through a transitional phase (what affects one person in the house typically touches all of us). I am not certain on the brown cricket, however. Good luck? What struck me the most about it was that my roommate was trying to catch it...and it always knew when to hop away just in the nick of time.

♧ I've been rearranging/unpacking my boxes from Seattle finally. For a long time now, I've just been living out of boxes, and refusing to do much magic. I didn't even set up my altar when I got all my stuff back from [Redacted abuser]. It's taken awhile to even get myself back to directly communicating with my guides...much less the Universe/Source. Anyways, I'm finally going through my boxes, and setting up an official altar area. When I was getting into my old rock and crystal collection (I was into that stuff way back before I realized how harmful the crystal/gemstone trend is for Earth's environment), I found an old piece of Mookaite that I friend gave me. And I shit you not, the thing physically vibrated in my hand when I touched it.

I've been holding it ever since. Have totally and honestly forgotten all the exact properties of the stones I own. It's been such a long time. I was also practicing "crystal/crystal energy psychicism" when I was homeless as a means to survive the streets so...I'm pretty sure my PTSD is blocking a lot of that information out.

I guess it's time to rediscover crystals again? Not buying any new ones. Just utilizing the ones I already have to the best of my ability. I feel like it was wrong that so many of them were taken from the ground to be pretty baubles for people. I might as well make it worth something by using them to help myself/others/incorporate them into my active life so they hold meaning.

Mookaite feels very grounding and soothing already. It feels like a very receptive stone, inviting energy into it much like organic pearls do. I also notice that it has almost a dream/trance-like affect to it's grounding energy. I think maybe I'll take time to meditate with it tomorrow.

◇ Brad pretty much runs the household that I live in. Further details; I live in a BDSM polycule, Brad is one of the doms. One of Brad's relationships was very close to being homeless recently. While normally, being homeless is... [redacted PTSD disassociating moment] being non-binary and homeless during COVID-19 is even worse. So we took them in. Inevitably, we had to make some major adjustments (about space, because technically we're fitting 9 people in a 2 bedroom house). It's been a test of adaptability through chaos for everyone. One of the major areas of contention is that everything inside the house is getting moved, rearranged, or tossed. And some people (mainly [redacted name]) is absolutely 100% terrible at adapting to change, unless someone is literally dying. Also, while I get that none of this can really be helped, I'm also a bit annoyed by the sudden introduction of someone new.

But even if I'm annoyed by it, I wasn't about to say "no" when Brad told us what was going on. I'm not a monster. I was homeless too and Brad helped me get off the streets. This person, while I don't know them well enough to make a judgement, deserves the same chance that I did to get stable in an era where stability is a pipe dream.

I'm actually not the one having the hardest problem. Surprising, it's the spirit of the house that's having the hardest problem. Our house is an old 1950's model built at the corner of a crossroads. Technically the house kinda exists as a liminal space. And there's so much stuffed inside of it that theoretically anything *could exist* in the house. Sometimes weird shit pops up and then disappears. It's very similar to the Seattle house I lived in when I was with [KILL BILL SIRENS] but has less of a metaphorical underworld cave vibe and more of a Howl's Moving Castle vibe. Anyways, the house itself is having a bad time adjusting to all the change/cleaning that the new roommate is doing...because it keeps hiding and moving (specifically) all the stuff that the new roommate has. They're not a stoner. They have a decently good memory. And I know that nobody in the house would do something like that. Plus, they apparently heard disembodied laughter right after discovering something was missing. The genuis locci (house spirit) is fucking with 'em hard.

I've never seen the genius locci do this before. The worst it ever did to me was hide a really expensive Egyptian cotton pillow case once. It eventually spat it back out after cuddling with it, I imagine. Seriously; Egyptian cotton sheets. Get you some.

So after the 100× time today that the new roommate was swearing about their missing things, I suggested that maybe they need to butter up the genius locci with gifts. Kinda romance the house a bit. Give it something so that it builds a relationship with the spirits that live here. They're a (self-professed) baby witch whose background is Jewish. They mostly excel at kitchen witchery (for now) and incorporating the works and wisdom of the Torah into their life. So they weren't too certain on ritualistic offerings to a house spirit. But with some suggestions from me and listening to their own intuition, they were able to put something quick together. It's nice to see people using magic around the house and learning new skills. And to their benefit, I felt the house chill out a bit after the ritual/gift giving was done.

I have been giving the house/my guides a portion of my nightly tea every now and then. It's honestly nothing fancy but I figure small gifts count for something right?

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saiilorstars · 4 years ago

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Dare To Forget Me

Ch. 21: Birthday Blues

/ Previous chapters /

Fandom: Law & Order SVU

Pairing: Rafael Barba x Original female character

Warnings: Due to the nature of the series’ plots, I do have to rate this as ��mature’ for constant mentions of rape.

~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ` 0 ~ 0 ~ 0 ~

Chapter Summary: Montserrat makes her decision about her transfer and returns to Manhattan on the night of her birthday...the day she'd been dreading so much. Rafael wants to help, part of a way to make up to her for his past mistake, but will it turn out fine this time?

While things with Heba's case had died down, though not with a good ending, SVU gradually seemed to fall back into its normal routine that week. There was only one thing that was still up in the air for everyone to see.

Montserrat was on her way out of the bullpen while Rafael was coming in. He walked on like nothing but despite his efforts to keep going, he came to a stop anyways. He had fresh new thoughts thanks to one Carisi who, for some reason, had gotten the idea that he, somewhere along the way, had developed some feelings for Montserrat. Rafael thought that was probably the moment he ever felt so much anger towards one person. Needless to say, he'd thrown Carisi out of his office with the threat that he better not say such ridiculous things in his face again.

That had been this morning. It was lunch time now which had given him some time to think about Carisi's words, no matter how uncomfortable it made him.

"Montserrat?" Rafael had gone back to the hallway and stopped the detective halfway towards the elevator. She turned back and, for the first time that week, she didn't look like she would kill him on the spot. "I know you're not speaking to me but...I just need to say that I'm sorry. Again. I'm really sorry. I was never owed any of your secrets and...I still screwed up."

Montserrat could immediately see differences between now and then. She had finally managed to control her feelings. Before today, she was furious beyond belief. If this was still before, she wouldn't have heard Rafael out - she'd probably curse him and then leave. But that hadn't been getting her anywhere expect for fueling more rage. For her sake - and for the sake of her blood pressure - she needed to calm down. After all, like she once admitted to her therapist, Rafael accidentally letting her secret out took away the fear of having to do it herself. She hadn't been brave enough to tell the squad of her plans. And now, with a clearer mind, she could straight away see the guilt on Rafael's face.

"I know," Montserrat said quietly, even nodding her head to show she'd heard him loud and clear. The mere fact she'd listened was already surprising for Rafael. "And I'm sorry it took me this long to understand."

Rafael gave her an uneasy look. She was acting too strange, too...180. "... you're not upset anymore?"

"I mean, I am but…" Montserrat drew in a deep breath and sighed, "I'm... I'm leaving for Brooklyn," she instead said, now truly surprising Rafael. "I'm visiting their Homicide division for a few days. I think it's a good idea to put some space between me and everything here."

"Right," Rafael agreed, although he wasn't sure why he would. He didn't like it.

"I should be back on Friday."

"Your birthday?"

There was visible dislike for that reminder. "Friday," Montserrat reiterated. She offered him one small smile then turned to leave.

There was a feeling in the pit of Rafael's stomach warning him that even if Montserrat returned, things would not be the same as before. He didn't quite like that either.

~ 0 ~

Montserrat packed light, after all she was only going to be gone for two days. She argued with Kara probably during all her packing and preparation time.

Kara was relentless that Montserrat was running away from problems. And she was not quiet about it either. "Montserrat Irene Novak, this is the most childish thing you have ever done!"

Montserrat scoffed after shoving in a blouse enter suitcase. "Really? Going to observe a different division is childish?"

"When you're doing it to avoid facing reality, uh, yeah it is!"

Montserrat rolled her eyes and continued moving around her room to get the last of her things into a suitcase. "I promise you, Kara, that I am not running away. I really think some space is what I need to clear my head and maybe get rid of any lingering anger I have. Hell, I think it might even be good for us to have some space. We might end up killing each other."

"I think you're doing things wrong," Kara folded her arms. "And it is kind of scaring me because I've never seen you act like this before."

Okay, that one Montserrat would give to Kara. She was confused herself why she needed to do all this just to be okay again. But the point was that she needed to do this.

"It'll just be for a few days and then I'll be back," Montserrat said with a cheery smile.

"Well, what if you end up liking it there?" Kara frowned for a second. "And you don't want to come back."

Montserrat thought about that possibility and could only shrugged. "Then I like it."

"Montserrat!" Kara whined.

"What?" Montserrat laughed for a bit. "Kara, you and I were supposed to be only temporary roommates, remember? I was supposed to find my own place eventually."

"Well, yeah, but…" Kara shifted on her feet, looking more like a child than an adult right now. "You're my best friend. It's kind of fun living with you."

"Thanks," Montserrat offered the woman a smile. "But I just have to go. I'm sorry."

Kara saw there wasn't no point in arguing with her. She'd made her choice to go, but it didn't mean Kara would stop hoping Montserrat hated the place.

~0~

Two steps into the Brooklyn Homicide bullpen and everyone already knew who Montserrat was. She felt bombarded with all the "hello's" she got as soon as she walked in. There was a moment where Montserrat felt overwhelmed enough to turn around and leave.

"Miss Novak," a tall, older man emerged from the Captain's office. He was already gray on the head but he had piercing green eyes that looked like they could catch anything wrong in a second. "You made it. And I see that my squad has already given you a vibe of our dynamic."

"Uuh, yeah," Montserrat couldn't come up with anything to actually say right now. She didn't like being the center of attention from strangers.

"Captain Delisle," the man held a hand to shake with Montserrat. She smiled and shook hands.

"Montserrat Novak. Can I ask how everyone knew who I was before they even saw me?"

"Simple, you're the only redhead we know in the building," one of the detectives answered from their desk. Montserrat turned to give a strange look, making the man laugh. "Kidding. We know your cousin? ADA Novak? You guys got the same hair."

"Oh," Montserrat didn't know if that was worse or better than the former explanation.

"Alright, Detective Novak is here to observe how we run things in this precinct so let's make a good impression," the Captain said. "Novak, if you'd stay you'd be Mulvoy's partner," he directed her towards a man who'd risen from his desk at the call of his name.

"Jake Mulvoy," the detective introduced himself as he crossed through the desks to shake hands with Montserrat.

"Montserrat," she smiled politely. He looked nice enough, though there wasn't that playfulness Sonny seemed to naturally carry.

"Please treat Montserrat well as she visits us. She might become one of ours by the end of the week," Delisle said playfully then spoke to Montserrat. "We can talk at the end of the day to see how you like it here and discuss other things."

Montserrat nodded and was freed to mingle through the bullpen. She got to know the rest of the detectives, which she immediately could tell would not be like her SVU squad. For one, Detective Miranda Kim was, to put it in simple terms, was a downright bitch. It appeared that Mulvoy's previous partner was Kim's best friend who was transferred to a different department. In Kim's eyes, Montserrat was there to replace her best friend.

Great.

Detective Xavier Lance, Kim's partner, was a somewhat better person. He was tall, had a charming smile, and was kind to newcomers. He lamented their old detective's transfer but was excited for the prospect of a new co-worker. He kind of reminded Montserrat of Nick, except that Lance could be a bit more snippy once you started asking questions about their specific cases. It was as if Lance thought Montserrat was there to steal the cases they were already working on.

"Don't worry about them," Detective Connor Shein brought Montserrat to his desk. He wasn't as tall as Lance but he was still taller than Montserrat. He had nice blue eyes and rather shaggy brown hair. "They're a little more on the reserved side. But they're good detectives."

His partner, Detective Paulina Quell, was a smiley blonde woman that made Montserrat instantly think of Amanda. The only difference was Paulina was taller. And no accent. She came to stand beside Montserrat and placed a gentle hand on Montserrat's arm. "Yeah, if you stay they'll warm up to you."

"Would you like to see some of our cases right now?" Shein asked Montserrat and gestured to the files sitting on his and Quell's desks.

"Sure," Montserrat gave a nod. "It'll almost be like a trip down memory lane since I used to work homicide back in Queens."

"You did?" Mulvoy suddenly asked then exchanged looks with Shein and Quell stopping to glance at each other then to look at the ginger.

"You've been around then," chuckled Quell. "Homicide and SVU? Which one do you like better? If that's not a weird question…"

"Well, they each have their own things," admitted Montserrat. "Homicide you don't know how to deal with live victims which saves you a lot of sleepless nights and standoffs with the victims and their families. But SVU gives a little bit more of a satisfaction because when you do get the victims' culprit, you got the satisfaction of knowing that you got the guy and you made justice for someone who's alive to see it." And as Montserrat said these words, she grew distant with thoughts. SVU, however challenging at times, always brought a different type of satisfaction when they were able to put the culprit away because more than often the victim was still alive to see it happen. They could see the impact they made on the victim. Homicide didn't offer that.

"Do you mind if we ask you why you're thinking about transferring here?" Shein asked quietly. "I mean, you've started making a name for yourself back in Manhattan."

"I have?" blinked Montserrat. That's the first time she heard any of that.

"Yeah, you and SVU as a whole. You guys are pretty good at what you do over there," Quell said and had the agreeing nods from the other two detectives. "I mean, don't get us wrong, we would love to have you on board with us but we're just a little curious why you would want to leave that department that's doing so well?"

"Fair question," Montserrat nodded. "It's just personal reasons. Um, just wanting to see if Homicide is my true calling." Well, she couldn't very well say the truth here could she? Still, the answer was deemed good enough for the two detectives.

For the rest of the day, Montserrat spent her time going through cases with Mulvoy, Quell and Shein, featuring remarks from Lance but absolutely nothing from Kim. She got to know a few of the officers lingering in the office, and most importantly she began to get the feel of the squad as a whole.

"So, how do you like it here?" Captain Delisle asked once they were both seated in his office.

"It's different than what I'm used to now," Montserrat began with, considering it was the easiest things you could say that didn't involve a lie.

"I'm sure it is," Delisle nodded. "I've talked to your sergeant and she doesn't seem like she wants to let you go. But that didn't stop her from giving me good remarks about you."

"Olivia's very kind," Montserrat said with a small smile. "Too kind."

"May I ask why you're looking to transfer?"

If Montserrat was score how many times she'd been asked that question today, she'd probably lose count. It was a fair question, she knew, but it didn't mean she wanted to keep hearing it. It involved a lot of things she couldn't (and didn't) want to talk about.

"I used to do Homicide," Montserrat began with what Delisle probably already knew, "And it was hard, sometimes, to see what we had. The corpses. The way they died. But sometimes, SVU is a little harder. We typically have live victims and...hearing what they've gone through…"

"It's tough," Delisle nodded. "But someone's gotta do it, right?"

Montserrat took those words more to heart than she planned to. "...yeah…" She felt her phone buzz inside her pocket but didn't get it right away.

"Well, we'll see you tomorrow then. Hopefully by then you'll have made your decision regarding where you want to be," Delisle got up to shake hands with her then led her out the door.

As Montserrat checked her phone, Detectives' Mulvoy, Shein and Quell called to her from their desks.

"Hey, how'd it go?" Mulvoy's question didn't register for the first few seconds as Montserrat had focused too much on her phone.

A smile came to her face after checking the new text message she'd received from Rafael.

If you haven't already had dinner, try Morgan's Barbecue. I think you might like. Your type of food I...

"Hey, Novak?" Quell's voice finally broke through Montserrat's concentration.

The ginger looked up from her phone with blinking eyes. "I'm sorry?"

Quell only chuckled. "We were just wondering how'd it go with the Captain."

"Oh, it's fine. I'll be back tomorrow to keep observing. Thank you for letting me do that, by the way. I know it's probably annoying to have some newbie looking over your shoulder."

"Nah, it's fine," Shein assured. "Better to know what you're getting into before you put in your papers."

Montserrat nodded. She looked down at her phone for a quick second then smiled. "Would either of you know where Morgan's Barbecue is?"

~0~

As much as they offered, Montserrat reassured the Homicide detectives that she was fine eating dinner on her own. She was tired anyways so she wasn't sure if she'd even eat inside or just do take out in her hotel.

She had to admit the restaurant was nice, though. Its lights were dim to give it a nightly look, but gave off a relaxing atmosphere from the moment one stepped inside. When Montserrat saw bar right on the side, she immediately pictured Rafael coming in at least four times a week. The stock looked pretty full...and good.

She eventually found herself drifting towards the bar counter after having enough of looking around. From there, she looked at the menu and, to her delight, found that there was indeed many barbecue options. After ordering, she started going through the wine selection and was surprised to see so many options. They seemed to have a lot on whiskey so of course Rafael would know the place.

"Now I know why you came here," she mumbled her thought about Rafael. He could get over the barbecue because of what was at the bar. She was so focused on choosing a drink, she didn't notice someone taking a seat beside her.

"Can I buy you a drink?"

Montserrat, of course, flinched and looked up from the menu to find a blonde sitting next to her stool. "Me?"

The man nodded. "Who else? You're the only pretty redhead in this place."

Montserrat cleared her throat and offered one polite smile. "Thanks, but...no thanks."

"Are you waiting for someone?"

"No, but I'm not interested. I've got...things going on." What things Montserrat spoke about she had no idea, but neither did the man anyways.

"I'm James," the man first introduced himself, giving Montserrat the indication he was not leaving soon. "I come here every week, so believe me I know the best drinks here."

"Well, my friend probably came here everyday so I'll just go with his recommendations, thank you," she smiled ever-so-politely as she got up from her stool and picked up her menu and bag, "And just so we're clear, this is my definite no. Don't need to show you my SVU badge, do I?" her snappiness came as a surprise to James but she didn't stop to see his full reaction as she stormed off to take a seat at the very end of the bar.

Okay, maybe she shouldn't have been that snappy since the man hadn't really done anything except ignore her first 'no'.

One of the bartenders, a woman who looked just a bit older than Montserrat, stopped by Montserrat's new seat to chuckle. Montserrat could see the name 'Elise' written on the bartender's name tag. "Nice one. I don't see a lot of snippy women around here. It's like they're too scared of being mean or something."

"Well, I'm a bit guilty right now, so…" Montserrat admitted.

"Oh don't be," Elise waved a hand to the side. "That guy's in here every night trying to pick up women. And let me tell you-" she leaned an elbow on the counter, "-that he is not interested in dating, if you know what I mean."

"Oh, well in that case, screw him," Montserrat nodded, making the bartender chuckle.

Elise gave an approving nod of her head. "What can I get you, then?"

"Honestly," Montserrat put a hand over the closed menu on the counter, "I have no idea. I'm from Manhattan and, really, the only reason I'm here is because a friend who used to live here in Brooklyn told me I should come here. Though now that I think more about it, I assume he only ever came in here for drinks than actual dinner. Rafael's more of a eat-while-on-the-job guy than actual breakfast, lunch and dinner."

Elise seemed to pause for a second, something Montserrat caught but wasn't sure how to ask about it. Luckily, Elise spoke up after a few seconds of pondering. "You wouldn't happen to be talking about Rafael Barba, would you?"

Montserrat blinked, and somehow nodded slightly. "...yeah...how did you…?"

Elise smiled at the woman's confusion. "You said SVU before and then Manhattan, plus what you mentioned about a friend living in Brooklyn? The name was just a bonus."

"Wow, maybe you're the detective in this conversation," Montserrat tilted her head, honestly impressed by the woman.

Elise laughed for a moment, but Montserrat seemed dead serious which just made Elise laugh even more. "Okay, you're definitely his type."

Instead of snapping like she usually tended to, Montserrat quietly sighed and closed her eyes. "I'm not…" she didn't even bother with the same response. She opened her eyes and came at it from another angle. "Can I ask you something?" Elise nodded her head. "I literally said 'friends' like two or three times so...why would you say something like that to me?"

"What -- the being 'his type' thing?" Elise asked and Montserrat nodded. "Rafael used to come here every night, literally every night, when he worked for the Brooklyn DA's office. So believe me when I tell you I know him very well."

"Were you and him…?" Montserrat found herself asking and when she realized it, she felt a warmth on her face. "Sorry. Didn't mean to ask that…"

Elise just smiled again. "Nah. We just really bonded over what drinks were the best. Though due to his profession I lost almost every argument."

"He's snippy but not impossible to win, believe me," Montserrat said all too proudly. "I've won a few rounds against him."

"I believe that based on how you got rid of that guy earlier," Elise smirked. "I told Rafael he'd meet his match sooner or later. Too bad it's not yet happened, huh?"

Montserrat was more pensive than she would've liked to be. As Elise recommended some of the drinks she thought were good, Montserrat's head was somewhere else - more specifically on someone else.

~ 0 ~

"Okay, just, please change if you get a stain or something," Kara trailed after Sonny into the bullpen, ignoring his looks for her to stop talking and the others' amused smiles.

Sonny went straight to his desk and plopped down, but that didn't stop Kara either. She was a woman with a plan today and she was getting things done. "And you said you'd be out by 7:00, right?"

"I guess," Sonny shrugged.

"What's going on, Carisi?" Amanda just couldn't stop smiling at the pair. "You had lunch for an hour, what could you possibly have done in that hour?"

"Nothing," Sonny scowled, and thankfully Kara was still there to clarify.

"I'm just making sure everything's good for Montse's birthday," the woman smiled excitedly.

"Oh right, that's today," Amanda looked to Fin and Nick, all three realizing it was indeed Montserrat's birthday today.

"Yup! And I'm expecting everyone at eight o'clock today. It's Montse's favorite restaurant," Kara wagged a finger at them as if she were speaking with children.

"Yeah, but, Montserrat's still away in Brooklyn," Nick thought Kara needed a reminder since the woman was probably going detail-crazy. "What if she's not back today?"

"She said she would be," Kara shrugged. "I don't think she needs more than 2 days to realize Brooklyn ain't happening."

"How are you so sure?" asked Fin.

"Because I'm Montse's best friend and I know she's not going to stay in Brooklyn," Kara seemed very sure of herself they almost believed it. "So-" she clapped her hands together, "-we're all set for eight, right?"

"Set for what?" Olivia asked as she'd only caught the last part of Kara's question.

Kara looked back to see her and Rafael coming into the bullpen. She grinned, though, because now she had all of them in one place. "Montserrat's birthday, remember?"

The two in question looked at each other then nodded.

"Yes, what about it?" Rafael was the one to ask.

"What do you mean?" Kara raised an eyebrow. "It's today."

"Yes, and she asked us, many times, not to celebrate it," Rafael reminded her, looking pretty serious in that he'd be following the request.

"But that's what everyone says," Kara rolled her eyes.

"But she means it," Olivia said, internally sighing because she knew without a proper explanation Kara would never give up this birthday party. "And that's what Rafael and I are going to do."

"You're not coming?" Kara's face fell but was quickly replaced with offence. "Neither of you?"

The two shook their heads. Behind Kara, the rest of the squad exchanged confused looks amongst each other.

"It's what Montserrat wanted," Rafael reminded once again but with a touch more annoyed.

"Oh of course you're going to listen to her," Kara waved him off. "You still want to get into her good graces."

"I decided that a long time ago. I don't need your incessant shouting for us to do something Montserrat specifically asked us not to."

Seeing Kara getting actually mad, Sonny shot up from his seat with the intention of removing the stressor - which in this case, unfortunately, was his girlfriend. "Kara, let me take you to your car."

"Fine," Kara said and only because she was on a tight schedule. She let Sonny walk her towards the exit but she stopped at Rafael's side. "But you and I both know that Montserrat would want you to come. And you want to be there anyways."

The glare Rafael was giving Kara wasn't something anyone wanted to be caught under, but Kara just smirked and went on her way rather proudly.

Sonny mumbled a quick 'sorry' to Rafael as he followed Kara out into the hallway. Of course once they were out of hearing shot, he had a go with Kara. "You can't do stuff like that!"

Kara just rolled her eyes while she waited for the elevator to open. When they finally did, Sonny blocked the way inside with an arm.

"I'm serious, Kara. That wasn't okay!"

Kara's eyes flickered to the detective, getting annoyed by the second. "Let me go through, right now. I have plans I can't be late for." With a sigh, Sonny did but he followed her in. Kara pressed the down button then stepped back and allowed a heavy silence to fall on them for a couple seconds. "I'm not choosing to be an ass, you know."

Sonny still lightly sighed. "I didn't say that-"

"-no, but you're thinking it."

"No," Sonny said loudly for it to be clearly clarified. "I just disagree with how you're taking this whole...situation. I don't think it's your place-"

"-my best friend is in Brooklyn right now, thinking about staying to live there!" Kara exclaimed and walked out the moment the elevator door opened again. "I have to do something and, unfortunately for Rafael, he's the only one I can think of who can stop Montse. And you know why, Sonny, so stop pretending like those two are."

"Okay," Sonny put his hands on Kara's shoulders, hoping to calm her down before she left the building. Now that he saw where her mind was, he could help better. "You don't want Montse to leave and that's completely understandable. What's not going to work, however, is you harassing both Montse and Rafael. It's not going to end well and you know that."

"I'm desperate here!" Kara frowned. "I don't want her to leave, and much less run away from someone. Doesn't it feel like that?"

Sonny bobbed his head while he considered the idea. "On some level, sure, but...we can't be 100% sure about it. We'll just have to wait for Montserrat to come back and tell us her decision. In the meantime, let's just make sure she has a nice welcome back party."

"It's a birthday party," Kara pointed.

"Well she didn't want that so let's call it a welcome back party or she might just hurt us."

"Good point," Kara nodded.

"So...we good…?"

Kara's smile said it all. "Yeah." She let him hug her tightly for a few minutes before it was time for her to really go.

~ 0 ~

"Just out of curiosity, will you be going to this party?" Rafael simply could not help himself with the matter. He watched Olivia drop her things at her desk and give him quite a look.

"I thought you were smarter than this," she said bluntly. "Of course not. I respect Montserrat's wishes and I wished everyone else did too." Now it was Rafael's to give her a look. She noticed it after sitting down. "What?"

Rafael tilted his head at her, continuing to stare at her until she shifted in her seat. "You know more than I do."

Olivia raised an eyebrow at him, clearly not getting what he meant. "What?"

"You're the only one actually not going," Rafael continued with his words, letting Olivia wallow in confusion for the next minute, "And that can only mean you know exactly why Montserrat hates her birthday. Like Casey."

Olivia shook her head, doing that noise with her mouth that Rafael had come to learn was her 'You got me but I'm not admitting' noise.

"Casey's also not attending," he said for her sake. "What is it that made you and Casey so trustworthy that Montserrat decided to confide in only you two?"

Though Olivia would never openly admit that he was right, she did turn her gaze back on him. "Why do you sound so bothered by it?"

"No so much 'bothered' as I am tired of this same subject."

"Look, I cannot say anything except what you already know. And what we know is that this party will only hurt Montserrat, and us attending - just as everyone else - will only show that we don't care what she decided."

While that sounded logical, Rafael had to disagree. He didn't say it because there was no point. Olivia knew what he didn't, and no matter how much he asked her, she would never tell him because Montserrat wouldn't tell him.

But there was this idea of his that compelled him to do the opposite of what Olivia and Casey were planning. Sure, Montserrat would hate anyone who attended this godforsaken party, but if he, Olivia and Casey didn't go then she would be stuck with the clueless people who believed she wanted the party. At least if one of them went, they could help her out.

~ 0 ~

When Montserrat entered her apartment, it was a literal twenty minute hug-fest from Kara. Montserrat felt truly loved in that moment, as well as a little claustrophobic.

"I'm just so glad you're back!" Kara exclaimed as Montserrat was finally able to peel her off. "And happy birthday!"

As Kara went for another hug, Montserrat dove to the side and wheeled her suitcase towards the hallway. "Thanks, but...please don't."

"Oh c'mon, don't go to your room," Kara tailed after the ginger down the hallway. "Let's go out for some drinks. My treat."

"I'm not in the mood for it, Kara," Montserrat opened her bedroom door and walked in, along with Kara.

"But it'll be fun! And relaxing! Plus, you can tell me about Brooklyn. You can start with whether or not you'll be moving."

Montserrat sighed as she brought her suitcase to her bed. "I just...Kara, I've said this before over and over...I don't like my birthday. I'd really rather stay in my room."

"Well that's just depressing," Kara folded her arms over her chest. "And I'm not leaving until you say you'll get drinks with me."

"You're being extra childish today," Montserrat took notice. "Who pissed you off today?"

Kara would love to say it was her almost boyfriend but she knew if she did Montserrat would never agree to going out. "I'm a little upset you won't come out with me, that's all."

With another sigh, Montserrat turned to her roommate. "I'm sorry. I really did miss you, though."

A smile returned to Kara's face. "Then c'mon! Let's go out! Couple drinks and then we can come home."

Montserrat nearly rolled her eyes. She knew this 'drink night' was really Kara's surprise party that wasn't such a surprise. She did have to hand it to Kara in that she was persistent and thoughtful. She should be more grateful, she knew, but her birthday still felt...wrong. Like, what was she meant to celebrate? Her rapist was still out there, living his own life, while she had to switch jobs, move cities, make new friends.

But you did have some good times, she thought after a moment.

Yes, she did switch jobs but she did find SVU to be a good place. The city was okay too. And her new friends? Yeah, they were good too. She couldn't deny she hadn't been handed some good things this year but...it was hard to focus just on that when the bad was so...impacting.

"Montse?" Kara was now putting her hands together to plead. "Let's go out, yeah? For a little bit?"

"I'm going to regret this," Montserrat mumbled under her breath before agreeing.

Kara was ecstatic and, to Montserrat's surprise, she already had an outfit in mind for the night. Though after a moment, Montserrat realized she should've seen this coming. Still, she told herself to be prepared for this party and its livelihood she wasn't quite ready for.

~0~

Montserrat's mind raced the moment she stepped into the restaurant. Everyone screamed 'Surprise!' and while they cheered for her and wished her a happy birthday, Montserrat kept a tight smile on her face as she thanked each person. It shouldn't have been that hard considering these were people she liked. There was Sonny, Fin, Amanda, Nick...there was Madison and Caroline. Her father was even there, sans Damian, Gael and his daughters.

"Yeah they're still away on that seminar," Montserrat's father said after giving her a hug. "But he wishes you a happy birthday too."

"Thanks Dad," Montserrat said.

"How does it feel being 30 now?" He picked up his glass of bourbon from the table.

"Honestly, not that great," Montserrat knew that was as much as she could say without lying.

He didn't get it of course. "Yeah, I remember that one. But this doesn't mean you're old, sweetie. Just means a new chapter of your life is starting." Montserrat nodded, listening to his words but as seconds passed by she felt like she had to breathe harder. "Could be that this is the year you finally settle down…"

"Oh, Dad…" Montserrat knew this topic definitely wouldn't help her feel any better.

"I'd like some more grandkids, dear--"

Montserrat nearly choked on her saliva. A certain memory was popping into her mind and it was not letting her breathe easily. As her dad went on and on about new grandchildren, Montserrat started to feel like she was going to drown. Eventually, she just couldn't do it. "Sorry Dad, I gotta go." She turned away and made a hasty stride for the entrance doors. She practically shoved some people out of the way, ignoring their dirty looks, till she could see the doors. Her heart was racing and she honestly felt like if she didn't breathe in fresh air she would pass out.

Am I having an anxiety attack? Montserrat realized this was a possibility. It never really manifested past biting her nails but it certainly wasn't impossible. She had feared her birthday for months and now that it was finally here she was spiraling.

She practically slammed the doors behind her and leaned against them, breathing hard and fast but at least she was outside now. Oh dear Lord help me. She closed her eyes for a moment and focused on just breathing.

"Montserrat?"

Montserrat nearly fell from the door - if that was even possible considering she'd been leaning against it - but got her balance in time. She saw Rafael cautiously approaching her, probably wondering what the hell was wrong with her. "You came…"

"Yes, and I know you didn't want this--" Rafael made a nod at the restaurant where they could hear the loud party going on, "--but I'm not here as a guest."

"You're not?" She leaned away from the door and looked him over. He wore a white collar shirt with a dark jacket and matching pants. "Because you're dressed like one."

"I could say the same about you," he countered with the same accusing tone she used, only his came with a smirk.

Montserrat wore a sleeveless, tight, black dress that hugged her body and ended a bit above her knees. There was a golden necklace around her neck, bringing some attention to her plunging neckline. Her red lips didn't smile nor smirk like they usually would.

"It wasn't my choice," she frowned. "Kara had everything planned…everything."

"You don't look good…" he noted her nervousness, accompanied with a frantic glance at the restaurant.

"Yeah, I'm not," she didn't hesitate to confirm. "I'm, well…"

"Not good?"

"Yeah," she bit her lower lip. She awkwardly folded her arms over her chest. "I thought I could handle it but it turns out that I can't, and if I don't get out of here I'm going to lose it."

Even though it was a quick paced ramble, Rafael followed perfectly. "Do you want to go home? You know that's why I came. I may not know what's going on but I would like to help you."

Montserrat could appreciate that and she would take it. She glanced at the restaurant before deciding she really did need to go. "Let's have drinks. Somewhere away from here."

"Are you sure--"

"--yes," she said rapidly. "Let's go!"

Well, he wouldn't argue with that. She looked like she would chew someone's head off at the first chance she got and he was not putting himself on the line. Luckily for her, he was an expert at knowing places that had great drinks.

Once Montserrat was in the presence of a new, peaceful restaurant she seemed to act more like herself. "Thank you." Her gratitude was so quiet Rafael almost missed it.

"Of course."

The two had sat down at a particularly empty bar counter. They'd already ordered some drinks and were just waiting.

"So you came to this party just to...help?"

Rafael bobbed his head. "More or less. My logic was that I'd be the only one who knew you actually hated the damn party so I could actually help you out."

"Well thank you," Montserrat honestly said, and meant it too. Who knows where she could've ended up if he hadn't shown up. "I needed it."

The bartender passed by to hand out their drinks at the same time. Rafael picked his up first and with a light smirk on his face he said, "Not-so happy birthday to you."

Montserrat chuckled as she picked up her own drink to clink with his. "Sure."

"Thirty is an awful year."

"Really? You still remember yours?"

Rafael rolled his eyes. He took a drink from his glass then set it down to reach for something inside his jacket. "Even though it's not a wanted birthday, I hope you'll accept this."

Montserrat's eyes blinked when he set down a small rectangular black box on the counter. "Please tell me you didn't actually buy something…"

"My mother would kill me if I went to a birthday party without bringing a present," Rafael said and looked dead serious about it too.

"I gotta meet your mother some time," Montserrat smirked for a moment then looked down at the present again. "But, I mean, you shouldn't have. And I know that's what a lot of people say and don't mean it but in this case I do. You shouldn't have because I said I didn't even want a birthday."

"But I'm happy you made it to another birthday. It's a small win but an important one nonetheless. And I don't know what your year was like before coming to Manhattan but I am glad you made it here."

Montserrat blushed against her better instinct. "Wow, didn't think you could say things like that." Rafael frowned for a moment, about to ask what she meant by that when she spoke up again, "... I'm staying at SVU." She rested her arms on either side of her drink.

The sweet smile on her face unintentionally reminded Rafael of a time, months ago, when they had drinks together after working their first case; though now Montserrat had shorter hair and was far more comfortable with him. Whether or not he'd wanted to, he ended up smiling as well.

"What made you decide that?"

"Honestly? It's just not the same as Manhattan," Montserrat shrugged. "Everyone's nice there, but...I like it here."

"I did say Brooklyn wasn't as nice as Manhattan," Rafael picked up his glass again to take a drink.

"Well, there were some things that...were good," Montserrat had a secret smile on her face that grew when she said, "I, uh, went to that restaurant you suggested and wouldn't you know it? I met your old friend, Elise."

Rafael choked on the alcohol in his mouth. "What?" came the scratchy voice a second later.

"Yeah," Montserrat started bobbing her head. "She remembered you and she had a lot of stories to tell."

"Don't…"

"Should we start with June 2012? The day you-"

"-I said don't, Montserrat," Rafael warned. Even the way he said her name had become sharp, but not at all terrifying. In fact, she started to laugh instead.

It didn't stop her from re-telling all the stories Elise had confided in her. And boy was there a few. With each story, it got harder for Montserrat to say it without laughing...until she just couldn't stop.

"And here I thought you went to Brooklyn for work," Rafael sourly said, side-glancing her laughing figure. He had to admit, however, that he preferred this Montserrat over the version he had earlier. She was happier, livelier...just her.

"I did, I did, but-" Montserrat couldn't help it. She just couldn't do it. She brought a hand up to her mouth to cover her laughter, but she had to lean away to get all of it out.

"Happy birthday I guess," Rafael raised his glass to the air as if toasting before taking a last drink.

"Okay! Okay! Okay! I'm done! I promise!" she had to take in a deep breath in hopes of finally calming herself down. "Here, let's switch subjects." She raised her hands to show she was done, or at least that she was going to try and be done. She noticed his present was still sitting on the counter, unopened, and that just couldn't be. "I know what'll help."

"Will it though?" Rafael sent her a hard look that subsided once she smiled again. She really had a knack for that smiling thing. Her nose seemed to crinkle each time.

Montserrat ignored his snippy question, as well as his look, in favor of the present. When she took its lid off, she found a rose-gold necklace inside with a pendant in the shape of a ballerina. The ballerina was in a dance pose - one foot on the other leg - with her skirt outlined with silver stones.

"That is...beautiful," Montserrat gawked with widened eyes. "This could not have been a $20 gift."

"You are not guilt-tripping me for this," Rafael warned, but she could see he was shifting in his stool. She was right.

"I can't take this," she shook her head. "It had to have been expensive. I can't--"

"Well, you have to because I'm not taking it back," he looked her dead in the eyes and told her the same thing with them. "It's for you." Montserrat opened her mouth as if to protest but...there wasn't much to do if he'd already decided against it. "It's for you and your ballet dancing dreams."

The fact Rafael still remembered that she'd once said she'd originally wanted to become a dancer was...it made her feel special.

She smiled so widely it could've cracked her face in two. "Can't believe you remember that."

"I remember everything you say," he said matter-of-factly then smiled for a brief moment, "Even when you're yelling it at me." She chuckled but gave that to him.

"Thank you," she said softly. She drew her hands to the back of her neck and unfastened the necklace she was already wearing. She put it down on the counter and gingerly picked up the new necklace.

"You need help?" Rafael asked her after watching her trying and failing to put on the necklace on her own.

"Please," she said and handed him the necklace. "But don't break it. You break it, you buy it."

"Because I haven't already done that?" He got up from his seat like she did.

She turned away and raised her hair off her back, giving him perfect access. As his hands moved forwards on each side of her neck, she could smell whiffs of his cologne. Each time she smelled it, she remembered she loved it. Get ahold of yourself Montserrat, she berated herself. She always did this. Every time. Without fail. Like it was a--

Rafael's fingers had brushed along her skin. He hadn't meant to, of course, but it was impossible to avoid.

Oh dear Lord. Montserrat felt chills and she really wished she could stop acting like a teenage girl but it was so difficult.

Putting a necklace on someone shouldn't be taking so long, but for some reason Rafael doddled with the task. He could smell Montserrat's perfume from where he stood and each time he did he felt like backing away was out of the question. He couldn't budge from his spot even when he was more than unprofessionally close to her. He'd never stand that close to, say, Olivia? Or Amanda?

But Montserrat was different. She always was. Whether it was her ability to keep up with his mouth or handle his snark, she always had something to throw back at him. It was like she had the perfect talent - the perfect ability - that allowed her to pull the right strings with him. And he really liked it...but it was really wrong. When his fingers touched her skin, he felt her flinch in surprise. Yet when he set the necklace on her and let his fingers stroke down her exposed skin, she didn't shy away from it.

Montserrat turned around to face him and let her hair fall back over her shoulders. "How does it look?" She asked, raising her head to give him a better view of her necklace, though Rafael could see a little more than just her neck.

"...good," he said, sounding like he needed more air. Even his nodding was off. Maybe Montserrat knew why, maybe she didn't...but she probably did. "We...should probably go," Rafael's suggestion went right over Montserrat's head.

"It's not that late, is it?" She stepped closer to him, if it was even possible, and brought her hands to his chest.

Rafael was pretty sure it wasn't late but that's not what he was going for. For someone who rarely felt nervousness, this was probably his worst case. She smelled absolutely delicious, and if he got into how she looked right now...I'm losing it. How the hell am I losing it?

Montserrat smiled sweetly and unknowingly answered his question. He watched her fingers stroke circles over his chest, playing a wicked game with him. His hand suddenly snatched one of her wrists and after taking her second one, Montserrat thought enough was enough. She kissed him.

It was surprising but Rafael wasn't ready to pull away. Her lips tasted of alcohol and when he put his hands on her waist he discovered she was curvy. He wrapped his arms around her, unknowingly reminding Montserrat that, apart from his scent, she loved the feeling of his arms. It was probably the first thing she ever noticed about him. Back when she was his witness, 9 months pregnant, he'd caught her in a moment of imbalance. He was able to once again see the very light freckles under her eyes and she saw the flecks of brown in his green eyes. He was strong, and the way he held her made her feel...protected? She didn't know if that was the right description, but it was close enough. To have him back, like this, was even better.

The two seemed to find their fit with each other in a matter of seconds (which, if they'd been more in-tune with reality, they would've been surprised by). It could've been minutes of beautiful bliss if someone's cell phone hadn't gone off.

Rafael was in a daze as he got to his phone in his pocket. He wasn't even sure if he'd actually answered it but upon hearing Sonny's voice on the other end of the line, reality started settling again. Montserrat watched him with more or less of the same daze in her eyes.

"Have I seen Montserrat?" He repeated what he was being asked. He saw Montserrat silently shake her head, almost looking like a plead. "No. I didn't even go." Rafael scrunched his face for a second, looking like he was getting irritated by the second. "I know what I said, Carisi, but I didn't! Go find her yourself!" He ended the call with that snap and turned away from Montserrat. He pressed his hands on the bar counter and leaned forwards, closing his eyes for a moment.

She recognized the look on his face. It was regret. And it hurt.

"I'm sorry, Montserrat," he apologized quietly. She opened her mouth to respond, but he cut her off before she could say anything, "It's unprofessional. And it's…" he leaned away from the bar counter and faced her once more. He looked her over, wishing nothing more than to have her all to himself.

But it wasn't right.

Least that's what he kept telling himself over and over.

Montserrat, being who she was, couldn't take his words without protest. "You can't tell me this after a kiss like that. You want me like I want you." The fact the words slipped through her lips so easily didn't even faze her at the moment. She'd need a few hours.

"Yes, but it's not--" Rafael forced himself to stop before he got more upset. He took a deep breath in and started again, though he knew he had to keep it short so that he could get the hell out of there without falling back. "It just wouldn't work. Your age, our jobs...the way we are with each other? It just can't."

Montserrat's eyes widened slightly at his words but only briefly before anger started settling across her face. That was the moment Rafael knew he had to leave. He knew if he faced her while she showed clear pain that he caused, he would not be able to leave her. At least with anger he could tell himself she'd hate him and that'd be the end of that. If he was lucky, maybe it would work out that way.

Either way, he didn't know because he finally walked out.

He was right, though, because Montserrat only spent a few minutes in rage before anguish sought her.

#ocappreciation #svu #rafael barba #svu fics #rafael barba fics #svu imagines #oc: Montserrat Novak #fic: dare to forget me

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ameth18blog · 4 years ago

Text

Unexpected Encounters. Chapter 2: Aggretopia - New Friends

Retsuko, Haida, Fenneko, Ookami arrived at the restaurant with their respective children being guided by Washimi and Gori. It was a two floors building that could see from the outside that it had a nice atmosphere. They could see that the children's play area was extensive and on the second floor. There was also an area for parents to observe. When the adults looked at Koka and Hana, they saw that they had stars in their eyes from excitement.

"The emotion is noticeable in them" said Washimi.

"That's how I was when I was a child. What memories of the past" said Gori.

"Well, we better get inside," Haida said.

Once inside they saw how elegant and neat the place was. It was very different from the other restaurants they had been to before.

"You find a table, while Haida and I order the food" Ookami said.

"What do you want to order?" Haida asked.

"I'd like to order Soba," Retsuko said.

"To my Shabu-shabu," Fenneko said.

"I would like Tempura" said Washimi.

"And I Takoyaki" said Gori.

"I want Mochi, dad" Koka said.

"I would like to eat Onigiri, Mr. Haida" Hana said.

"Well, with that we will also buy refreshments for everyone. How about a cola drink? "Haida said.

They all nodded in affirmation.

"Well, let's get in line to ask for our order, as long as the children are taken to the playground, it looks like they are anxious to play there" said Ookami.

After that, Haida and Ookami went to line, while Retsuko, Fenneko, Washimi, and Gori led Koka and Hana to the second floor of the restaurant.

...

Inadvertently, a small fly-shaped camera entered the restaurant when a customer entered, just in time before the door closed. The camera had a type of sensors that allowed it to detect where it was what it was looking for. He went through the first floor and there was nothing, so he went up to the second floor where in the area where the children were playing he began to detect just what he was looking for.

"Perfect, I have already located two of them, and as I see it are some children who have them" said a person who was observing through a screen what the camera was seeing, which was focused on Koka and Hana.

"It will be like stealing a candy from a baby" said a flying robot circling from side to side.

"Very true, and the best part is that there is no trace of that blue hedgehog anywhere to interfere with our plans."

"Sir, sir" It was heard to say two voices that came entering the room, which were two robots, a tall yellow and a short silver.

"What's going on! They don't see that I'm busy! "

"We know," said the yellow robot.

"But this has to do with it," said the silver robot, pulling out a radar.

"Wow, two others have appeared and have just appeared in the same place where the previous two were."

He moved the camera and could see that an adult red fox, two adult rabbits, an adult fennec, a small vixen and a small rabbit had entered the restaurant. And he could see that the two children were the ones who had what he was looking for.

"We are lucky. It has been children who have found them and with four of them in the same place, I think it is better that we go looking for what belongs to us" he said pressing a button to make the camera go back to the base, then he gets up the chair and leaves the room being followed by the three robots.

…

Once Haida and Ookami had in their hands what they had ordered they were going to go up to the second floor they realized that it was more than they could carry, between the trays of food and drinks. They had only been able to take a few steps and realized how difficult it was going to be for them to get there and since their respective wives with their respective children and their two friends had already gone up to the second floor, they couldn't ask for their help, because of that, they weren't there was no other choice but to make a second trip. But before they accidentally dropped their food, they were approached by a red fox, a rabbit and a fennec fox.

"Do you need help?" asked the red fox.

"The truth is, yes, but we don't want to bother anyone by asking for help" Ookami replied.

"We prefer to take care of ourselves," Haida said.

"Are they completely sure?" asked the striped rabbit.

The hyena nodded, but when he took another step he lost his balance and dropped the tray with which he had the food, but he was able to hold the drinks. It almost fell to the ground with the food, but was fortunately caught by the fennec fox.

"Oh, thank you very much little one" said Haida stroking the fennec fox's head as if it were his son, although he only did so for a few seconds before withdrawing his hand.

"Don't speak to me as if I were a child" said the fennec fox with a deep and threatening voice that surprised both Haida and Ookami, as they thought it was a child.

"Oh sorry" Haida said as he bowed his head.

"Don't worry, it happens all the time. Even when we are at home and walk together, many mistake him as my son" said the red fox.

"Are you not from around here? Truth?" Ookami asked.

"We come from The United States, specifically from Zootopia. My name is Nick Wilde" replied the red fox.

"My name is Savage, Jack Savage" said the striped rabbit.

"And my name is Finnick" said the fennec fox still holding the tray.

"My name is Haida" said the hyena.

"My name is Ookami" said the red wolf.

"So where will you take the food?" asked Jack.

"On the second floor, our wives, children and some friends are waiting for us," Haida replied.

"Well, we'll help you" Nick said taking the drinks that Ookami was carrying so that he could only focus on bringing the food.

For his part, Jack took part of the food, which was for the children, to take it himself.

...

In the children's area, Koka and Hana were playing in the ball pit. When one submerged, the other had to find it and when it did it brought it to the surface. It was so funny that when they came to the surface they couldn't stop laughing.

"That looks fun," said a female voice.

"We can play with you," said a male voice.

Koka and Hana turned to see a vixen and a striped rabbit (both gray in color) behind them.

"Of course you can," Hana said.

"The more the better" Koka said.

Upon receiving the affirmation, the half-siblings were delighted and jumped into the ball pit.

"My name is Nicole Wilde, and he is my twin brother" said the vixen, pointing to her brother.

"My name is Jerry Savage, nice to meet you," said the rabbit.

"My name is Koka" said the red panda.

"And my name is Hana" said the wolf / fennec hybrid.

"Well, what if Nicole and Hana hide among the balls first, while me and Jerry look for them," Koka said.

The other children nodded. The vixen and the wolf / fennec hybrid got into the sea of balls first and behind them came the rabbit and the red panda.

…

"How nice it would be to be a girl again" Retsuko and Gori said at the same time, while Fenneko and Washimi just watched without saying anything. But they had all heard a third voice. When the four of them turned around they saw a gray rabbit that had a fur color identical to that of the vixen and the rabbit that were playing with Koka and Hana.

"Excuse me, you are the mother of the two children who are playing with our children" Retsuko asked while pointing at her and Fenneko.

When the rabbit saw the red panda and the fennec fox, she realized that the children who played with their respective children looked alike "Yes, I am".

"I see your children love to play a lot," Fenneko said as she watched the children.

"Yes, when they are at home they play so much that sometimes it is difficult to put them to sleep at night" said the rabbit.

"It's understandable, sometimes younger kids are like that" said Washimi

"By the way, is you alone? If you want you can sit with us" said Gori.

"Well, I'm not alone, but my companions went to order food, but I would like to while I wait for them," replied the rabbit.

When the girls sat at a nearby table, they introduced themselves in formation.

"My name is Retsuko" said the red panda.

"Mine is Fenneko" said the fennec fox.

"I am Washimi" said the secretary bird.

"And I am Gori" said the gorilla.

"Nice to meet you, my name is Judy Hopps. I come from The United States, from a city called Zootopia" said the rabbit.

"I know that city, once I and Washimi went on vacation to that place, about 10 years ago" said Gori.

"It was a lovely place, we were planning to go again, but with all the work we have, we haven't had time to go again," said Washimi.

Retsuko, Fenneko and Judy were surprised that the two of them have been to that city. Retsuko and Fenneko because they never mentioned that city, Judy because she met someone from another country to visit her home.

"Tell me, is it still a lovely place?" Gori asked.

"Yes it is, a few years ago when I joined the police department there were certain problems in the city, but fortunately after having solved the case with help, there haven't been many situations, in fact the city has remained peaceful since then" Judy said.

"You're a cop, you're great," Retsuko said.

"Yes, it was my dream since I was little. And although at the beginning many, including my boss who was the worst in that aspect, they didn't take me seriously, I managed to earn everyone's respect "said Judy.

Retsuko was surprised to hear that, it reminded her of when she started working in accounting, but unlike Judy, she herself has not been able to earn the respect of Director Ton or Miss Tsubone, the most she managed is that Komiya I became a fan of hers when she was part of the OTMGirls, but that was not the kind of respect she wanted, it even became quite annoying.

She was taken out of those thoughts when Haida and Ookami arrived, but they were accompanied by a red fox, a striped rabbit, and a fennec fox. They all brought the food they had ordered.

"Haida, Ookami, how good you came, introduced you to Judy Hopps. She comes from Zootopia" said Washimi introducing her with the hyena and the red wolf.

"Nice to meet you" Haida, Ookami and Judy said in unison.

"We want to introduce you to Nick Wilde, Jack Savage and Finnick. They also come from Zootopia" said Ookami.

"Nice to meet you" said Retsuko, Fenneko, Washimi, Gori, Nick, Jack and Finnick.

"I see you made new friends" said Jack as they watched their companions.

"You could say yes, and you three too," Judy replied.

"Do you know each other?" Washimi asked.

"Yes, Finnick is a good friend of the three of us" replied the rabbit pointing to herself, the red fox and the striped rabbit.

"Nick and I knew each other since we were young, we did illegal things, but thanks to Judy we ended up leaving that world and finding a better life," Finnick said.

"And Jack, well, let's just say it's a bit more complicated. And how do you know each other?" Nick asked.

"Well, Ookami and I are married," Fenneko said.

"While Retsuko and I are married," Haida said.

"And we are good friends with them. We even work in the same place" said Washimi pointing to herself and Gori.

"Well, you are welcome to sit here with us" Gori said while the others nodded.

Nick, Jack, and Finnick sat next to Judy, while Haida and Ookami along with Retsuko, Fenneko, Washimi, and Gori.

"By the way, guys, where's our order?" Judy asked.

"They told us they will be bringing it to us soon," Finnick replied.

...

Nicole and Jerry kept playing with Koka and Hana in the ball pit until they were a little tired. They surfaced.

"That was fun," the siblings said in unison.

"Same here" said the two friends.

In that the red panda a doubt came to his mind.

"Nicole, Jerry. I can ask you something. If you are twins, because you are of a different species and have different last name" Koka asked curiously.

"It's because we have a mom and two dads," Jerry replied.

"I've never heard of anything like it before, how can they have a mom and two dads?" Hana asked.

"We don't know, mom and our two dads have only told us that we will know when we are older," Nicole replied.

Right at that moment the four children began to notice a strange glow coming from their pockets. When they took out the items, Koka and Hana along with Nicole and Jerry were surprised to see the items the other duo had.

"You also have one of these" Hana said when she saw the jewels of the two siblings.

"We thought they were unique objects, where did they get them?" Jerry asked.

"We found it in a nearby park, in a sandbox," Koka replied.

"We found ours at the airport, behind a fountain," Nicole said.

Just at that moment the emeralds stopped glowing, but before they could say anything else their parents called them to come eat. They put the jewels in their pockets again.

As they came out of the ball pit they were surprised to see their respective parents, honorary uncle, and honorary aunts sitting together. So they went with them.

Everything was normal until the moment they finished eating and wiped their hands and mouths with their napkins. They got up from the table with the intention of leaving the restaurant when something unexpected happened.

One of the windows on the second floor of the building was broken and a number of robots began to enter the building through them. These surrounded Retsuko, Haida, Fenneko, Ookami, Washimi, Gori, Nick, Judy, Jack, Finnick, Koka, Hana, Nicole and Jerry. The children clung to the arms of their respective mothers.

The other people present on that floor took their respective children and escaped downstairs quickly, unfortunately since there were robots surrounding the outside of the building, no one could escape.

At that moment, a flying vehicle appeared outside the building, there was a being that was unlike anything that anyone had seen before in their lives, it had no fur of any kind on its body except for a large mustache of a color between orange and Brown. He wore dark purple glasses that covered his eyes, had a pointy pink nose, and wore a red and yellow suit, black pants and boots, and a pair of white gloves. He was accompanied in the vehicle by his three robot assistants.

"Let me introduce myself. My name is Dr. Eggman and I have come for the objects that the children have, if you don't give them to me, all of you will pay a very expensive price" he said in a threatening voice.

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vfdbaudelairefile13 · 5 years ago

Text

Chapter Forty-Four:

The One Where Olaf Takes Over the Hospital

The children did not like the prospect of sleeping in the half-finished wing of the hospital but Violet was right. What choice did they have? If they weren’t able to find vacant beds in a more secluded part of the hospital that was what they were going to have to deal with. The three children stood in silence waiting for Hal to come back. The entire time, Violet debated taking Klaus and Sunny and just leaving the hospital altogether. She assumed Olaf would never be the wiser. She could hotwire a car and drive the kids far away to that little town that her father had taken her several times during his many years of hiding. She knew of a coffee shop that they could hide at even if the owner was there, the woman with the green eyes who was just as secretive as her father might be there, but she was sure that if she explained her situation the woman would be kind enough to allow the siblings to hide out there. She wasn’t sure if the woman would actively help her and her siblings clear their names but she had hidden her father a few times. Violet could just casually mention her father’s passing and maybe the woman would still help. But a nagging part of Violet, a part that hadn’t shut up even when her father was alive, wondered what in the world the secrets behind VFD would tell her.

Now all three siblings were very desperate to learn around the real VFD and the secrets and mysteries revolving them, their parents, their enemies, and their overall misery. But if anyone was more desperate for answers it would be Violet. She had sought them out when her father was alive, even going out of her way to disguise herself to follow him, breaking into his personal belongings and even confronting him with a mountain of evidence in hopes of getting him to admit and explain everything. That last part definitely did not go as Violet had planned, although it did go how she expected. Her father continued to lie to her and even claimed that she didn’t need to know. This, of course, ended in Violet saying three words that she had never said to him in her whole fourteen years of living and it was three words that still haunt her to this day. Casually replaying in her head reminding her of the day she broke her father’s heart and the night she lost him for good. Unable to take back the words that she screamed to him. I hate you! She remembers shouting as loud as she could. Violet sought desperately to answers because these answers might explain to her more about the lives of her mother and father and maybe even shed some light on what had happened for her upbringing to be untraditional and not what either of her birth parents had wanted. So the nagging voice in her head convinced her to stay as she hoped that Brandon Spats was correct when he had told the kids that Heimlich Hospital’s Library of Records could, in fact, answer all of their nagging questions.

Her thoughts were put on hold as Hal walked in right at the time that a loud thudding noise was ringing above the children’s heads. The three children glanced up at the two chutes that Hal had indicated were for incoming files.

Hal sighed happily. “There’s nothing like the sound of a file coming down those chutes,” he said as the file hit the empty basket with a loud thud.

“It looks like a film,” Violet noted confused.

“Yes, a lot of our recent files are films. We have projectors along the south wall for anyone who wants to view them, but no one does because no one is allowed.” Hal explained as he picked up the file and squinted at it for a very long time. Finally, he turned to the three children. “Could you three excuse me? They have very specific instructions about where to file anything marked Volatile Film Document.” He held up the film that was titled ‘The Snicket File’ in front of the children’s faces.

It was a brief moment, but it was enough for Violet to read the title and predictably the film’s title sent Violet’s heart to the ground as she stared at her own last name appearing in front of her face. Even if she only was given a moment to glance at the film, her eyesight was far better than Hal’s and even Klaus’ and she noticed that right under the file’s title, there was a white sticker with black lettering that indeed declared it a ‘Volatile Film Document’. Hal turned to walk away as the children stepped closer to one another so they can talk privately unsure if Hal’s hearing was as bad as his sight.

“Volatile Film Document,” Klaus repeated looking at Violet.

“VFD,” Sunny chanted, intrigued. She may have good eyesight like her sister but her disadvantage was that she had been standing on her own two feet when Hal had shown the document’s title to the children, so she, like her brother, was blissfully unaware of what the file was named after.

“...you guys...it was…” Violet said, currently staring into space as if the film was still directly in her face and she was simply reading her name over and over again.

“What?” Klaus asked as Sunny turned towards Violet concerned.

“Did you guys see it’s title/” Violet asked unsure of what to think.

“No,” Sunny replied.

“It was entitled ‘The Snicket File’,” she whispered putting a strong emphasis on her last name.

“ What?” Klaus asked incredulously. “Are you sure?”

Violet simply nodded her head.

“That...that file can help us...we have to see it,” Klaus freaked as Sunny nodded her head in agreement. Klaus looked desperately around the hospital’s Library of Records. Snicket file? That file is either about Jacques Snicket. Or maybe it was about Violet? Or even her father...Lemony, I think his name was. It could have all of the answers that we have been desperately seeking. He thought to himself. His eyes scanned the large room looking for Hal.

“How?” Violet asked but almost immediately Klaus followed it up with, “Hal?!”

“Yes, Nick?” Hal called back immediately.

“We…” He began. He took a breath. He had to convince Hal to break his stupid rules so that the siblings could see that damn file. “We need to see a specific file,” he called out frantically.

“A file? Why do you need to see a specific file?” Hal asked confused.

“We need to watch it,” Violet called out as they tried to get closer to Hal’s current location. Sunny walked in front of the two older siblings hoping that her height was more of an advantage than a disadvantage in this case. With Hal’s poor eyesight, Sunny was sure he wouldn’t see her coming at all.

“Watch?” Hal repeated. “Our job is to file files, not read or watch them. We just went over this, Lilac.”

“Yes, we understand that but…,” Violet began.

“It’s very important, Hal,” Sunny interjected, still trying to locate the man. The two older siblings took a second to smile down at Sunny, who was actually starting to speak in a manner where everyone around her could understand her. Sure, there was still times where she crafted only one or two-word sentences or used her baby talk to articulate her ideas but for the most part, Violet and Klaus could tell that even through their hardships, Sunny must have been taking the time to learn how to speak so she can back up her siblings in arguments with either their enemies or ineffectual adults to where Klaus and Violet didn’t have to translate for her much anymore. And although this did spark some pride into both of her siblings, it also sparked a bit of sadness in both. For Violet, she felt like she had missed a pivotal moment in Sunny’s growth seeing that she had just met her baby sister recently, but for Klaus, it felt as though, Sunny was once again showing off how she no longer needed him and with each passing day as he watched Violet and Sunny operate through the siblings’ misfortune Klaus felt more and more unneeded and useless.

“It’s...it’s a matter of life or death,” Klaus explained desperately.

“Life or death, you say?” Hal repeated as he appeared in front of the children. None of them could tell which direction he had come from. “Well that does sound important…” he began as he pondered it. After a moment, he sighed. “I’m sorry, children. But rules are rules.”

“But…” Violet began.

“Enough,” Hal said sternly. “Now, I’m very appreciative that you three children wanted to volunteer here, but if you continue to argue with me I will have to ask Babs to find me three new volunteers.”

“No,” Klaus cried desperately. “We’ll...we’ll drop the subject,”

“Thank you,” Hal said as he held out his hand for Sunny’s. “Solitude. Follow me please,”

Sunny glanced towards her siblings with a small frown as she followed Hal down the Z aisle. Half-heartedly Violet and Klaus got to work filing the information that was falling from the chutes, some were paper files and some were films like the file that they were desperate to see. While Sunny followed Hal throughout the library using her teeth to open the file cabinets that he had lost keys to. But the children’s minds were not on filing, or on the file cabinet locks, their minds were strictly on the Snicket file.

Just about everything in this world is easier said than done, with the exception of ‘systematically assisting Sisyphus’s stealthy, cyst-susceptible sister,’ which is easier done than said. But it is frustrating to be reminded of this fact. As Violet filed a piece of paper containing information on cuttlefish under M, for mollusks, she said to herself, “I’ll just walk down the S aisle and look under Snicket,” but Hal was already in the S aisle, filing away paintings of sewing machines, and she could not do what she said. As Klaus filed a survey of thimbles, under P, for protection of the thumb, he said to himself, “I’ll just walk down the F aisle and look under F, for ‘fires’, but by the time Hal had moved to the F aisle and was opening a file cabinet to rearrange biographies of famous Finnish fishermen. And Sunny twisted her teeth this way and that, trying to open one of the locked file cabinets in the B aisle, thinking that perhaps the file was inside, filed under ‘Baudelaires’ but when the lock finally broke just after lunch, the youngest sibling opened the cabinet to find it was absolutely empty.

The three children sat together unhappily in the antechamber as they ate a few pieces of fruit. True to his word, Hal had used his lunchtime to get the kids fruits that they preferred even bringing a bundle of raspberries, which Klaus and Sunny were surprised to find out were Violet’s favorite, too.

Klaus leaned in close to his sisters as he peeled an orange for Sunny. “How can we get ahold of the file, when Hal is always around?” he asked.

“Maybe we can just try asking him again?” violet suggested. “Maybe...we should explain ourselves.”

“Do you want to go to jail?” Klaus whispered.

“No, of course not,”

“Then we aren’t ‘explaining ourselves’,” Klaus said sternly. “Besides, that never worked. No one listens to us.”

“Maybe we can leave some details out when we explain ourselves?” Violet suggested.

Sunny looked towards Violet and shook her head. “Too risky,” she said. “Can’t lose you,”

Violet smiled down at Sunny. “You ain't losing me anytime soon, Sunshine,” she said caressing the toddler’s cheek gently. Sunny leaned into Violet’s touch, smiling. Violet reminded her so much of their mother.

“Solitude,” Klaus whispered, reminding Violet.

“Shit, sorry,” Violet said sighing. “We need to see that file. I’m open to suggestions,”

Klaus and Sunny looked at one another and then glanced at Violet. Both shrugging their shoulders.

“Then what’s wrong with my idea?”

“Your dad was on the run, correct?” Klaus asked.

“Yeah? Why?” Violet asked.

“Would he ever suggest explaining himself?”

“No,” she admitted sheepishly.

“Well, maybe we should follow the expert,” Klaus suggested.

Violet sighed. “I guess you’re right,” Violet agreed. “But I still think it wouldn’t harm to ask Hal again. This is a library, right? If this was a regular library, we would as the librarian for help. In a library of Records, we should ask Hal,”

“But you heard him…,” Klaus began before Hal appeared in the antechamber.

“You can ask me anything you want, Lilac,” Hal said smiling. “But first I have to ask you something,” He walked over to the children and pointed at one of the fruits. “Is that a plum or a persimmon?” he asked squinting at the fruit. “My eyesight isn’t what it used to be, I’m afraid.”

“It’s a plum,” Violet said, handing it to him.

“Oh, good. I wasn’t in the mood for a persimmon,” Hal squinted at the bowl and chuckled a little. “I see you kids really liked the fruit I bought you,” he said. “The bowl is nearly empty,”

The kids blushed. “S-sorry,” Klaus muttered. “We...didn’t have breakfast,”

“Or dinner,” Sunny muttered sadly. She glanced at her two siblings and realized that she was the one who had devoured most of the fruit in the bowl. But her siblings didn’t blame her, she was recently in Olaf’s captivity and the two older siblings doubted that he properly fed Sunny and the Quagmires.

“Oh, don’t be sorry. I rather you three eat as much as you please than allow the fruit to go to waste,” Hal explained.

Violet sighed and pulled out her father’s wallet. “We can pay to refill the bowl,” she offered. “How much?”

Hal shook his head. “No, no. You three are helping me for free. Consider the fruit as your payment,” he said patting Violet’s shoulder. “Now what was your question, Lilac?”

“We had a question about that specific file,” Klaus said carefully, not wanting Hal to become suspicious. “I know it’s not customary for us to read the files, but if we were very curious, would it be okay to make an exception.”

Hal bit into the plum and frowned. “Why would you want to read that file?” he asked curiously. “Children should read happy books with bright pictures, not official information from the Library of Records,”

“But we’re interested in official information,” Violet said. “And we’re so busy filing things away that we don’t get a chance to read anything in the files. That’s why we were hoping to take one home with us and read it.”

Hal shook his head. “Paperwork is the most important thing we do in this hospital,” he said sternly. “That’s why the files are only allowed out of the room if there’s a very important reason,”

“This is important,” Sunny explained.

“As we said earlier, it’s a matter of life and death,” Klaus reiterated.

Hal opened his mouth to reply to the kids. But he was interrupted by the intercom.

“Attention! Heimlich Hospital! This is Babs, Head of Human Resources, hospital administration, and the party planning. Due to budget cuts, the cafeteria will be closing in nine minutes, the gift shop will be closing in three minutes. And the library of Records is closing right this very second,” Babs announced and all three children’s hearts fell to the ground at the same time as the lights around them and Hal turned off. Klaus looked around desperately as Violet wiped a tear from her eyes. Sunny stomped her tiny feet on the ground in response.

“Looks like you can’t see that file, after all,” Hal remarked as he leads the children out of the library.

The children watched in dismay as Hal locked the door to the library. He bid the children goodnight and left the children stranded outside the door of the Library of Records.

“I just don’t understand it,” Klaus muttered, which was something he rarely ever said.

Violet sighed, nodding her head in agreement. “It’s a puzzle I’m not sure we can solve,”

“We need that file,” Sunny whined, stomping her feet again.

“We can worry about that later,” Violet explained picking her sister up. “Right now, we need to find a vacant room with a bed or two,”

“Hospital beds are small,” Klaus explained. “We’ll need two,”

Violet shook her head. “We’ll take what we can find. Most hospital rooms have chairs for visiting family, I’ll sleep on that.”

“I’d fit better,” Sunny volunteered.

“No, Sunshine. You just spent the last two weeks sleeping in cramped spaces. You and Klaus can have the hospital bed.”

“Or you and Sunny can,” Klaus interjected. “I slept in the firetruck. You didn’t. Someone should stay up and keep watch. Olaf is here, he made the mistake of making that obvious. We need to keep the upper hand.”

Violet sighed. “Look, let’s just find somewhere to sleep and we’ll go from there,” Violet said irritated. Sunny positioned herself to where she was hiding Violet’s face while she held the balloon tied to her wrist in front of Klaus’ face. The children wandered around the hospital, Violet was busy looking out for Olaf and his troupe while Klaus was looking to make sure no one recognized him or Violet from the paper. While Sunny did her best to not look at anyone directly since she was unaware if Mrs. Poe would have included a picture of her seeing that she was considered a kidnapped child. As they wandered, they whispered to each other different ways to convince Hal to allow them to see the file. Finally, after a half an hour of wandering around, it had seemed that violet had finally found a vacant room in a somewhat secluded part of the hospital.

“This seems secluded,” she said looking around.

“We may be in the quarantine area of the hospital,” Klaus said.

“Is that good or bad?” Sunny asked.

“Well, it depends on how we look at it. Right now, it’s entirely empty...but if they get a case that needs to be quarantined...we may be trapping ourselves,” Klaus replied.

“Do you guys want to sleep in beds or not?” Violet asked. She walked closer to the door and reached for the handle, but as she touched the door’s handle. The intercom started up once more.

“This is Babs,” the children could hear Babs’ voice coming from the intercom but something seemed wrong to the children. The woman’s voice that came from the intercom sounded scared which caused the children to be scared. Violet let go of the door’s handle and held on to her siblings’ tightly. “Head of human resources, hospital administration, and the party planning committee. I’d just like to announce my super unexpected, super early retirement. My replacement will begin immediately.” her frightened voice called out.

“ Thank you, Babs,” a new voice called out from the intercom. The three siblings looked at one another in shock and horror. The voice was familiar to the children. It was faint and scratchy, some would even call it wheezy. It was a voice that the three siblings heard wherever they went, no matter where they lived or who tried to protect them, and even though the children had heard this voice so many times before, they had never gotten used to its sneering tone, as if the person talking were telling a joke with a horrible and violent punchline. “You certainly appreciate all my hard work over the years,” he said smirking. “Attention! Greetings...Heimlich Hospital! This is Dr. Mattathias Medical-School with an important news bulletin.”

Sunny whimpered at the sound of Olaf’s sneering tone and Klaus shuddered, grabbing onto Violet’s shoulder tightly. Violet glared at the door in front of her as if she was staring at the cruel smile that Olaf always had on his face when he was tormenting her and her siblings. “Some murderers have been spotted in the hospital,” he sneered. “So we will be conducting a thorough check of each and every bed until they’ve been caught.”

Klaus glanced up at his eyes widened when he noticed a security camera. “Vi…?” he whimpered.

“What?”

He didn’t respond, he merely pointed at the camera. Violet looked from the camera to where the room number was posted. She slammed her fist against the door when she realized that the camera could clearly see the room number.

“After all, no one wants to be murdered to death in their sleep,” Olaf continued, his voice still sneering at the children. They didn’t know it, although they suspected it, he could see them in one of the many security monitors that were inside Babs’ office. “ Goodnight and sweet dreams,” he said laughing into the intercom until the children could hear Esme whispering to him that the intercom was still on.

The three children stood frozen in fear, unsure of what to do and unsure of how to react. Violet pulled her two siblings around a corner as she started to frantically think.

“Violet, he’s taking over the hospital,” Klaus whined.

“I can see that, Klaus,” Violet replied angrily.

“Leave?” Sunny suggested.

“We need that file,” Violet insisted.

“Are you sure that file was named the Snicket file?” Klaus asked as Violet grabbed on to his wrist and began dragging him along.

“Yes,” Violet replied.

“What are we going to do?” Klaus asked.

“We’re going to hide,”

“Where?”

Violet didn’t answer because she wasn’t sure. She knew the kids had to hide from Olaf and anyone who had read the paper. “We need to find somewhere in the hospital that they won’t look,” she whispered.

“Half,” Sunny suggested.

Klaus frowned but nodded his head. “If there are no walls, there can’t be any security cameras,” Violet explained. “Good idea, Sunny.”

“Now all we gotta do is get there without getting caught,” Klaus whimpered.

“Which is easier said than done,” Violet grumbled under her breath.

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mustlovemustypages · 5 years ago

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Yuletide 2019 Letter

Dear potential writer,

I’m so incredibly excited that it’s Yuletide season again and I hope you are as well. Thank you for reading my letter and also thank you in advance for anything you decide to write for me!

Below are my desired fandoms and pairings along with story ideas that I would love to see written. Please don’t feel stifled by my prompts; I’ve also listed my general likes and dislikes at the very bottom of this letter if you decide to go a different route.

Peanuts:

Characters: Charlie Brown and Lucy van Pelt

This is my most unusual request, so I figured it best to put it out there first. I grew up both reading the Peanuts comics and watching the various Charlie Brown movies/television specials, so this is fueled by pure nostalgia upon seeing the nomination in the tag set.

Even as a kid before knowing what shipping was, I wanted desperately to see Charlie Brown and Lucy get together. Their back-and-forth banter with Lucy’s sharp remarks and Charlie Brown’s wry sense of humor is perfection. I don’t often request things too far from canon, but I would love to see a story with them as adults and how even though they didn't see eye-to-eye as children, over the years they have become just what the other needs.

Story ideas:

It's their high school class reunion, and it's been years since the Peanuts gang have all been in one place. Charlie Brown and Lucy are either already together, surprising the other characters by how well they get along and know each other, or everyone at the reunion sees how perfect they would be together except for them.

Lucy becomes a psychiatrist (although she charges way more than 5 cents for advice now) and Charlie Brown a child social worker. They run into each other by coincidence while they're both dealing with difficult cases and help each other cope.

Charlie Brown has recently broken up with the Little Redhead Girl and Lucy with Schroeder right before the holidays. Both disillusioned, they run into each other in the big city and decide that what they need is a road trip back home. Amazing banter ensues.

Similar to the last prompt, both Charlie Brown and Lucy have recently broken up with their respective partners. Not wanting to go back home for the holidays single, they decide to give the ridiculous, we'll-never-fall-for-each-other fake relationship thing a go.

The Boys (TV 2019):

Characters: Starlight|Annie January and Hughie Campbell

Just when I thought nothing new could be brought to the superhero genre, Amazon comes out with this smashing success. It reminds me of X-Men in a way due to the social commentary made by several of the plotlines. I especially appreciate how the show comments on celebrity status and social media.

Aside from that, far and away one of the best things about the show is the relationship between Annie and Hughie. Even in the midst of so much corruption, these two characters somehow remain so earnest and pure. The fact that they formed a connection on that bench before even knowing the other's name speaks volumes about their respective characters and chemistry.

Story ideas:

Despite being integral to the plot, it was crushing to see the moment Annie realized Hughie had been using her to enact revenge. Canon divergence where Hughie tells her the truth almost right from the get-go and Annie immediately is onboard to help would be really fun to read!

Another fun twist would be if Butcher approached Annie instead of Hughie for help, and she agreed to act as a double agent. The scene at the bench still goes down as does the one where Hughie realizes Annie is Starlight (although he's a real photographer). Perhaps Annie sneaks off to do some double agenting and Hughie follows. Annie almost gets caught and pretends to be dating Hughie as a cover.

After the explosive conversation with her mother and finding out she wasn't born with her powers like she thought, Annie tracks down Hughie to rant.

Season 2 can't come soon enough. I would be interested in speculation of what could happen next as long as it includes Hughie/Annie!

Impulse (TV 2018):

Characters: Henrietta “Henry” Coles, Lucas Boone, Jenna Hope, Townes Linderman

This show became a surprise favorite of mine in 2018, mostly because it’s on YouTube Red and I haven’t given most of their original shows much thought. Also because it tackles rape and recovery in such a raw and interesting way, especially in the context of a sci-fi show.

I just need more Henry Coles. If you want to do a romantic relationship, I’d prefer seeing something explored with Lucas Boone or her canon love interest Josh (who was only in 2 episodes but really seemed to “get” Henry). Otherwise, gen stories between Henry and any/all of the tag set characters would be great. Season 2 is just now coming out as I write this, so feel free to ignore or include it as desired. I tried to keep the prompts general enough that they can apply to either season.

Story Ideas:

Henry will never be fully “recovered” in the sense that one can never truly recover from rape. It will always have an impact on her life. The other characters get that and try to help her in any way they can.

While Lucas is aware of what his brother did to Henry, he has no idea of the real impact. I’d love a story where he learns more about her seizures and the way her anxiety/fears manifest themselves as teleportation.

Hurt/comfort in all forms because Henry has been hurt enough for a lifetime, but she could do with a whole lot more comfort. Either within the confines of season 1 or imagined opportunities for comfort in season 2.

We get the story from mostly Henry’s perspective, but I’m sure a lot is going on in the minds of Lucas, Jenna, Townes, and Anna as the events of season 1 play out.

The Folk of the Air

Characters: Cardan Greenbriar and Jude Duarte

Holly Black is an evil genius and I bow down to her greatness. Starting off the first book in this series, I never would have imagined that by the end I’d be rooting for Jude and Cardan to be together, but here we are.

They are the ultimate enemies-to-lovers and I can’t wait to see what happens to them in the third book coming in November.

Story ideas:

Maybe I'm unrealistically optimistic, but despite Jude’s betrayal at the end of the first book and Cardan's at the end of the second, I think these two can work it out. Perhaps Jude helps Cardan cope with the stresses of being king and he is able to move past what she did. Or maybe they each realize how impossible their respective situations were and come to accept the questionable decisions the other made.

Madoc is a horrible father. Jude basically knows this from the beginning. Still, she was genuinely upset in discovering what he had done. I’d love to see her finally release all of that pent up anger - either her using Cardan as a sounding board for her rants or even having her completely breakdown under all of the stress and him comforting her.

We get the perspective of Jude throughout the entire book, but I would really enjoy seeing some of the scenes from Cardan’s point of view as his feelings for Jude change.

There is no way that Jude’s sister, Vivienne, wouldn’t be alarmed when finding out that Jude and Cardan kissed. Jude having to explain her changed feelings for Cardan and Vivienne, realizing that Jude is in love would be hilarious and heartwarming.

With the third book coming out soon, feel free to either include or not include elements from it. As long as there is Jude/Cardan, I will be happy.

Nancy Drew (TV 2019):

Characters: Nancy Drew and Ned "Nick" Nickerson

Only one episode in and I was impressed by this show. Up until now, I hadn't seen or read an iteration of Nancy Drew that I didn't enjoy, but I'll admit I was scared as sometimes the CW makes questionable choices with their adaptations. They have done a fantastic job with casting, though, and updating things just enough for the modern era without taking away the charm of the original.

When it boils down to it, Nancy Drew appeals to me because she is unabashedly herself, not ever pretending to be something that she's not to get others to like her. And although it's just getting started, so far the interactions she has with Nick and her father, Carson, are my favorite.

Nancy is a guest on a true-crime podcast featuring amateur detectives. Nick tags along and watches from outside the recording studio in amusement, or perhaps the hosts bring up Nick's criminal past on-air and Nancy gets defensive.

Maybe Nick and Nancy start a true-crime podcast of their own and it's an unexpected hit.

Carson Drew is not 100% onboard with Nancy and Nick's not-so-secret relationship. When Nancy suddenly stops shutting down Carson's attempts to connect with her and Carson finds out it was due to Nick's influence, he changes his tune about his daughter's boyfriend.

The gang goes to an escape room for fun. Nick is amused by how seriously Nancy takes it.

We haven't gotten very far into the season yet, but any speculation fics about where the mystery goes would be interesting as well!

Out-of-left field request: If you're not a fan of Nancy/Nick in the new show, I'd be open to a story where the Hardy Boys arrive in River Heights (I'm not so secretly hoping the CW makes this a TV show if Nancy Drew succeeds). Although I love Nick and Nancy together, I have always loved Nancy/Frank stories as well.

Things I don't like:

Alternate Universes – For the specific fandoms that I picked, I really like the universes as they are. I’m definitely okay with deviations from canon, but please don’t make Peanuts into a supernatural werewolf story or have the fantasy/sci-fi canons take place in a mundane coffee shop setting. (I don’t mind Soulmate AUs or something similar because those can be incorporated into canon with little change to worldbuilding).

Non-Con/Rape/BDSM/Sexual Violence/Graphic Sex – I like my characters to be happy and everything within ships to be 100% consensual, no question about it (mentions of non-con if it occurred in canon is fine). I also prefer plot over porn, especially with one-shots.

OT3s – Two people per romantic relationship, please. Any more than that makes me uncomfortable.

Character Bashing - Unless a character is a bad guy in canon, I don’t want to read hundreds of words about how awful they are, especially if they are one of the characters that I requested. Don’t take it out on the characters. If you hate my pairings, just write gen.

Things I love:

Hurt/Comfort – There is nothing I love more than one character comforting another. The hurt can be physical, psychological, or both.

Happy Endings – I’m all for the realistic endings… but if they could be plausible AND happy-ish, that would be amazing.

Expanded Scenes/Contorting Canon – Feel free to expand scenes and change up the canon to your heart’s content as long as it makes logical sense.

Humor/Banter/Snark – I thrive on this stuff.

Bonding/Building Relationships – Whether it be a friendship or a romantic relationship, I adore reading about two people growing closer together. When characters know each other so well that they can have conversations with just their eyes or anticipate the person’s next move (especially if it’s to the surprise/confusion of everyone around them), my shipper heart is thrilled.

Dark to Light – Seeing a character come out of a bad mindset or situation and get better is so satisfying.

Thanks again and happy writing!

- Maddy @mustlovemustypages (on Tumblr, Ao3, and FF.net)

#yuletide 2019 #the cruel prince #nancy drew #the boys #charlie brown #impulse #yuletide

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completeoveranalysis · 6 years ago

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TRC Translation Notes Volume 20 Part 2 (Chapters 157 - 158)

With this we’re all caught up on the translation notes so far! What a wild ride. I’m so thankful to @giniroangou for all her incredible work.

Highlights of this last batch of translation notes for now include: dramatic gasps from Nick in the distance, Yuui really did that after all, an extra layer of shame, Ashura continuing to be as Ashura as ever, important memory erasure, and full retranslations of that important line. In short, it all makes sense now!

Chapter 157

p.142 - The word that’s been translated as “guilt” is “tsumi,” which in this context would be better translated as “a sin” or “a crime.”

p.146-147 - The words over this dismal double-page spread are all printed in katakana, just like the words that kicked off this flashback on page 101. Again, I’m not completely sure why this is, but it’s attention-grabbing enough that it heightens their impact.

p.149 - Fai talks here about wishing he’d died “at that time/back then,” which I’ve always presumed to mean when the king offered them the choice, but on second thought he could even be referring to the time of their birth.

p.151 - More specifically, Fai’s wish here is to tell someone to save Yuui alone, and the way he states it is not so much a wish as it is a responsibility - as in, he can’t die until he’s managed to convey this message to somebody.

p.155 - In the bottom panel on this page, Fei Wang says, “I’ll grant your wish, but only one of you can leave.”

p.156 - If the final panel on this page follows directly from the previous ones, then this is Yuui referring to himself in third person when he says, “Then free Yuui.” It’s a more common practice in Japanese for people to do this than it is in English, but it’s generally a childish or cutesy thing to do and it’s not something either twin has done before this point, so it still feels a bit confusing or at least a little weird in the Japanese version IMO.

Chapter 158

p.164 - Just a quick reminder here that this first curse was mistranslated (see my notes for chapter 148: “But one day, if someone appears before you who surpasses the reason why the two of you were restrained in separate places all this time, that enormous magical power, you will put that person to death.”)

p.168 - Yuui says “Gehenna” here but the kanji printed beneath the reading are 地獄 (“jigoku”) meaning “Hell.”

p.170 - Ashura’s line here could be interpreted as either, “To grant me a wish” or “To grant your wish” (which fits in better with the context of the previous pages) - there are no pronouns used so it’s ambiguous at this point.

p.171 - As I mentioned during this flashback in an earlier chapter, although Ashura is literally taking Yuui to another world, it feels more to me like he’s saying, “There’s more to the world than this.”

p.173 - Ashura says that in taking his twin’s name, Fai(/Yuui) erased his own name from the world. The way it’s worded in Japanese makes it feel more like an act of shame and self-erasure than the more passive English translation.

p.174 - Again the word “tsumi” is translated as “guilt” here, but I would read it as “sin” instead. Ashura’s point is that Fai erasing his former name isn’t enough to erase the sin he committed in condemning his twin to death.

Ashura says that he’s showing Fai’s past to the others in the group as well (which it seems came across just fine, but that translation felt a bit wonky to me.)

p.176 - Just a little change in nuance here, but Ashura says he’s going to show everything that Fai “knew” (past vs present tense) - there’s more a sense of, “Hey, let’s reveal all the things you were keeping from them this whole time.”

p.177-179 - The first line here is actually the conclusion of an exchange that we haven’t yet witnessed. It’s: “...that is your other curse.” The implication - given the text on the next page about not remembering - is that Fei Wang laid another curse on Fai and then erased it from his memory, which is why the scene skips over any explanation of what the curse actually is. The lines that follow aren’t describing the curse itself, just an elaboration on what Fai is being tasked to do.

A full retranslation for the sake of everybody’s sanity: “...that is your other curse. In the case of this curse, there is no need for you to remember it. And, I will have you go on a journey, a journey that crosses many worlds, along with a desert princess and a clone I have prepared. As my pawn.”

“Pawn” is the more popular translation for this line and I think works the most smoothly in English, but Fei Wang literally describes Fai’s presence in the group as his “itte” (一手), which indicates a move in a board game. He’s used the same word in the past to discuss some of the other plays he’s made to manipulate the characters in the direction he wants.

#I'm not even kidding about the dramatic gasp #I am SHOCKED #also hot damn Ashura why you gotta be this way #giniroangou #who is the actual best #liveblogging the reservoir chronicle #Tsubasa #Vol 157 #Vol 158

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postmodernmulticoloredcloak · 6 years ago

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Speculation time~~

So, to recap where I am aboard the speculation train:

a) Michael has effectively left Dean’s body. Dean said so. When an angel leaves a vessel, you can see/feel that, and Dean knows. The alternative would be to assume that Michael fabricated the perception in Dean’s mind of an angel leaving the body, light and all, but that, unless proven otherwise, is too far-fetched to be assumed as valid speculation at this point. Occam’s razor and all.

b) Michael has done something to Dean’s soul/body that leaves the vessel still connected to him even after he’s left. We know that there’s a “line” between angel and vessel, especially in the case of archangels and their ‘true vessel’. The scar in 14x02 is probably the physical manifestation of that link.

Curiously, I’ve seen spec on my dash that, with names and little else changed, could pretty much have been written during the Amara arc - the fandom has long speculated about the handprint left by Castiel being a “brand” that connects Dean and Castiel (the line from 6x03 “when a claim is laid on a living soul, it leaves a mark, a brand” has sparked a lot of speculation, although in that episode they were talking about “buying” souls, and I wouldn’t talk about Castiel “owning” Dean’s, but it is possible that some kind of connection was made, although I’m more of a fan of the idea that there’s nothing supernatural linking them, just “human” feelings and experiences).

When Amara was connected to Dean but his bond with Cas was still more powerful than that connection, people also speculated that the handprint had been the physical manifestation of a spiritual bond, and the Mark of Cain had then bonded Dean and Amara, but Dean’s soul already had that pre-existing bond with Cas and that’s why Amara’s bond could never be fully implemented.

Now I’m seeing posts speculating where this new scar on Dean’s body is something similar to Castiel’s handprint or the Mark of Cain, signaling a bond of Dean’s soul to someone else. Some people are speculating that again, in Michael’s case, the archangel won’t be able to fully implement a bond with Dean because Dean is already bonded to another. I am not a fan of this specific scenario, because I don’t like to think of Dean and Cas’ bond as a metaphysical one, but I can see how it’s perfectly possible that there is something in common between the handprint, this new scar, and maybe the Mark of Cain, because we are in the territory of angels, human souls, bonds, all that jazz.

Of course we will have some answers when 14x03 airs, for now I’m accepting as plausible speculation that the scar is the physical manifestation of some kind of link between Dean(’s soul) and Michael, that it belongs in some form to the same family of phenomena as the s4 handprint (vague enough :p) and possibly of the Mark of Cain (if the name means something, we can infer that Lucifer’s own 'lock’ for the Darkness did not have the appearance of the Mark of Cain, but it took that shape in Cain and Dean, two humans, so maybe on Lucifer it looked like it did on Amara - more like a tattoo than a scar - and it looked like a scar when Lucifer, an angel, did the thing to Cain, a human).

c) This is just a theory, but I think that it’s possible that this link between Michael and Dean will be used by Michael to gaslight Dean in some form. Imagine a storyline that is a parallel and reversal in certain ways to the Hallucifer storyline: Sam hallucinated Lucifer and doubted his perception of reality; Dean might have his perceptions manipulated by Michael (this time not a mere hallucination, but the real deal, thus the reversal) and question his reality.

It is also possible (again, theory that could be 0% true, but since it’s speculation time...) that Dean will act somehow ‘weird’, sort of Michael-like maybe (or simply do little things he doesn’t remember doing, that sort of stuff), and thus attract suspicion and mistrust from the hunters in the bunker. Cas himself will wonder whether Dean has been damaged by the possession and become a bit more like Michael, like he has seen Nick being damaged by the possession and acting a bit more like Lucifer. Regardless of what is true for Nick, whether he killed his family or not, etc - Cas believes that the possession damaged Nick’s psyche and a bit of Lucifer’s personality bled into him, and it would be interesting to have him suspect that the same might have happened to Dean, whom he obviously holds dearer than Nick. (Of this theory I like how it makes the Nick storyline a narrative tool for Dean’s).

Maybe Michael will remotely manipulate Dean in order to create distrust and suspicion among the hunter community, and even inside Dean himself who won’t be sure of what’s happening himself. It wouldn’t be out of character for Michael, who had Zachariah use his talents on Jack before, who used Kevin to break Jack’s spirit, and so on. Jack and the humans from the AU world have - understandably - a strong sense of Michael’s dangerousness, and this is where the fracture could happen: they realize something wrong is going on with Dean, and suspect that Dean might work as a webcam for Michael (or even as a spy!), or even that Dean could personally, like, snap and attack them (possibly in the meanwhile somebody finds out that Nick is doing unsavory things, and they are afraid whether Dean might do the same...). Maybe Sam and Cas themselves start suspecting that Dean is highly dangerous, but they don’t exactly master common sense when it comes to Dean, so.

In all of this, Michael - who represents the trauma, repression and the whole good ol’ baggage Dean carries because of John’s parenting - symbolizes how the trauma and repression have distorted Dean’s perception of reality, for instance his perception of his self-worth as a person (interestingly, the 14x05 summary makes me think of 3x10, when Dean confronted himself and the issue of how his father shaped his sense of self-value as zero, and 14x02 also contained an interaction between two ‘faces’ of Dean via the mirror that reminded of the dream scene) but also the possibilities in his relationships with others, especially the ones closest to him.

Thoughts?

#my spn thoughts #spn spec #spn 14x02 #spn 14x03 #i am tempted to go with bichael as a tag #dean and michael #spn

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musicmixtapes · 6 years ago

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Halloween Mix (October 31 ‘18)

Happy Halloween to all my favorite witches, vampires and ghouls--This week's mix is pretty self explanatory but I had so much fun making it and think that it can be listened to even when it's not Halloween because we all have spooky hearts year round

Listen on Spotify

1. Witch by the bird and the bee - The beginning of this song with the xylophone sounds already sets us up for some interesting tones and makes it all the more spooky vibed throughout, which was automatically very ear catching when I first listened to it. But other than that, the entire love-lust-desire themed song of a witch entrapping someone in their spell and taking names without mercy is such a great trope for female empowered music. There are so many references to the "spells" "biddings" "conjurings" "hauntings" in this piece which makes it a classic halloween song. But I didn't find this during witching season, in fact, I discovered it over the summer which goes to show that it holds the test of time and can be enjoyed not just on this specific day (although I highly recommend it going on your own Halloween mix for sure). There is also another really cool instrumental segment in the mid part of the song where an electric guitar or string instrument of some sort is introduced followed by the step down chords of the synthesized creepy piano/string sound that is recurring in this piece.

2. Ungodly Fruit by Wax Tailor - This artist, who I have featured one other time on a previous mixtape, produces some of the the smartest and most unique pieces that I have had the pleasure of hearing with unworthy ears. There are not many words in this piece and in Wax Tailor true character, the words in the song are samples from different films. The first lyrics heard are Sampled from Professor Alexander Siletsky in the 1942 film To Be or Not to Be. The second portion of lyric is sampled from the 1934 film The Man Who Knew Too Much. Listening to the extravagant horns throughout the piece along with the interesting harp and assorted strings woven through create a vintage love/horror movie vibe that perfectly aligns with the samples of the movie lines that are showcased.

3. Black Magic Woman by Fleetwood Mac - Please for the love of halloween and all things magical, do not try and tell me that this is a cover of Santana's song because it is the other way around actually. His much popularized cover is quite fantastic, I agree, but there is something special and essential Fleetwood Mac about this piece that sets up the vibe of the band from very early on in the metamorphosis of the group. Now, if you are only familiar with the more recent group, you would be confused by this track because it sounds different and queen Stevie Nicks is not anywhere to be found. The group used to consist of Peter Green, Mick Fleetwood and Jeremy Spencer before the grouping was changed to what we know now. Honestly, this song is just a prediction about the queen witch that would later grace the band, but also a desire song about a mystifying woman.

4. Monster Mash by Bobby Boris Pickett & The Crypt Kickers - If you have been living under a rock for every October since you were born, then you don't know this awesomely spooky hit. Otherwise, I'm absolutely sure you've sung, you've danced, you've enjoyed this graveyard smash of a song that has created a rippling effect over halloweens for over fifty years. I remember being in kindergarten at my Halloween parade and walking around showing off my angel costume to this song, so yes, it has had a lasting effect on me for sure. Lou Simon, senior director of music programming at SiriusXM Radio, says, “‘Monster Mash’ has timeless appeal. The generations who grew up with it have fond memories of the song from the ’60s and again from its ’70s renaissance. The familiar arrangement is uncomplicated and delightful. It’s just one of those records that wears well and makes people happy.”

5. The Boy With The Thorn In His Side by The Smiths - Ok starting this one off with a literary definition, just in case you don't know exactly what Morrissey is referring to... To have a thorn in one's side is to have something or someone that continually causes problems for you; my definition of this is when someone will not quit pissing you off and making life hell even if they are unaware of doing so, we all have one of these and they are utterly unshakeable such is the way of life. When asked if this song was inspired by Oscar Wilde in an interview, Morrissey replied: "No, that’s not true. The thorn is the music industry and all those people who never believed anything I said, tried to get rid of me and wouldn’t play the records. So I think we’ve reached a stage where we feel: if they don’t believe me now, will they ever believe me? What more can a poor boy do?"

6. Leave Me Be by Beau - This is one of two songs on this week's mix that does not exactly conform to theme I laid out but there was no way I was going to leave it out because the sounds and emotions included in this piece is perfectly in line with the general feeling of the playlist. The singer's voice is so weird and unique, I have not heard anything like it before, but it definitely reminds me a bit of Lene Lovich's (80s singer) voice when she does those big jumps in range and pitch in the chorus of the song. I guess the voyeuristic image of someone bothering the speaker of the song and pestering her like an impetuous ghost following one around does conform to the theme of ghoulish natures and general halloween-ness. My favourite line from the song is the repeated phrase "All I ever wanted was just to be left alone/All I ever wanted was something to call my own" because me too... me too.

7. The Piano Duet by Danny Elfman (Corpse Bride) - Sitting in the piano room of my college dorm in the East Village on a Monday night a couple of weeks ago, I was exhausted of studying statistics and needed something to bring me to a peaceful state of mind. At first, I tried playing other pieces of music, but they proved too complex for my muddle mind at the time. Then I came across this simple and wonderful piece hailing from the classic animated king of Halloween, Tim Burton's The Corpse Bride. I was fascinated by the wandering notes that can be played with literally one finger which turns into this complex two handed piano piece that takes more time than I had to learn in its entirety. Danny Elfman has composed a lot of music for Burton which has become well loved and renowned but this short piece is striking and emotional for me. If you have the chance and a piano, you should play around with it because I think it is so satisfying to play. 8. Agony by Yung Lean - Originally I found this song in another version, one that was done by the alternative band Beach Fossils and I was hesitant not to put that version on the mix, but in the end decided the original needed to be heard and loved more. Coming from the Swedish hip hop/rap/emo/etc performed and artist Yung Lean, this vulnerable piece of music which describes how it feels to become unraveled is unrivalled by a lot of other songs about chaos that traps you in your own mind. What's more is that the song comes from a place of truth because the artist, Jonatan Hastard's (Yung Lean), spent time in a psychiatric facility due to mental health issues which were making him unable to live successfully. I think that it is so important that mental illness be represented in the music industry because it shows not only that having illness is okay, but that you can deal with it and get through it. So, thank you for showing us yourself, Hastard, and encouraging us to do the same.

9. Skeletons (Acoustic) by Yeah Yeah Yeahs - How fitting for this celebratory day with none other than the queen of being spooky and distorted. In this track, the speaker asks her lover to basically tear her apart, to destroy her by any means necessary because she has already been destroyed by the love she has experienced. Now, one of the most important things to remember about a song that has very few lyrics is that the ones that are there, are there for a particular reason. The phrase "frost or flame" returns more than once, and it is due to the reference to the poem by Robert Frost "Fire and Ice" in which he details which way the world ending would be better. The speaker relates this to the way that her lover can destroy her: either by burning her or icing her out. I am going to include the poem because I love it so much: Some say the world will end in fire/Some say in ice/From what I’ve tasted of desire/I hold with those who favor fire/But if it had to perish twice/I think I know enough of hate/To say that for destruction ice/Is also great/And would suffice.

10. Femme Fatale by The Velvet Underground - I'm sure you've heard of this phrase before, but do you know why and when is became such an iconic phrase? No? I didn't either until I heard this wonderful song. This phrase has actually been around since the turn of the 19th century with the mass popularization of the gothic type of novel, but it resurfaced with this song in the 60s and has stayed relevant to this day. What I didn't know about the 'femme fatale' is what I found from contributors on Genius music (I use this all the time for insightful explanations): "Edie Sedgwick was an American socialite, actress, and model that came from a very wealthy and prestigious family. She was a part of Andy Warhol’s “factory” crew, and became one his closest friends and muses as Warhol brought her to fame." I think that this tribute to a friend and inspiration makes for the perfect song and gives a deeper meaning to a tale of a heartbreaker and 'take no prisoners' woman that is depicted here. 11. I Put A Spell On You by Annie Lennox - Classic. Breathtaking. Magical. Three words that describe this song and specifically the Lennox cover of this song. Something about the way the high chords of the keyboard are struck in the beginning of the piece is so gratifying, I just knew I would be in love with listening to this in the first few seconds. Honestly, and I never thought I would be saying this but, I have to thank whoever put together the 50 Shades of Grey film because that is the reason the cover of this song exists, which is kind of annoying. Nonetheless, it thankfully exists, and tells about a man who cannot be faithful to the woman who is telling the story in the song. So, she puts a spell over the man so he will not leave her and remains faithful to her instead. Despite having such amazing music to go behind it, this is such a wicked sentiment and fits perfectly with the season.

12. Found Love In A Graveyard by Veronica Falls - This song is really, really sad. And I wasn't sure I was going to include it because it is really striking and makes me feel very emotional due to the intense meaning behind it. But, I think that music is, yes, supposed to uplift you and put you in a good mood, but not always. Sometimes, songs have a power to touch the things deep and dark inside of us that are untouchable by anything else, and this is a beautiful concept; sad, but still beautiful. The minor and eerie chords and drumbeat that start the song off with the discordant "ooohs" let us know this is not going to be one of those sunny, uplifting songs, but one of the darker ones. This piece can very well be about the literal sense of finding love in a graveyard with someone who is no longer alive, but I think it's about finding love in someone who is not present in one's life and wanting them so much but not being able to have them anymore. Listen with caution if you are already in your feelings.

13. Zombie by The Cranberries - Let me paint a picture for you: it was summertime five years ago. A thirteen year old girl who was just discovering her musical genre for singing and listening alike stepped onto an outdoor stage in mid-June. The heavy guitar of a somber rock song come on and she begins to sing; surprise, the song is this one, and the girl is also this one who is writing to you. This song particularly has had more influence over my own writing and singing style than any other in this mix, both because it is beautifully metaphorical and because it is truthful to the point of tears in some respects. The song tells about the Troubles which occurred in Northern Ireland between the unionists and nationalists, the tensions and violence which spanned over decades and literally tore families apart. Dolores O'Riordan, the writer and singer of this song said, "This song is our cry against man’s inhumanity to man, inhumanity to child."

14. Time Warp from The Rocky Horror Picture Show - Not going to lie, I first heard this song and saw the scene performed when I was 12 and discovered the wonderful television program that is Glee. After that, though, I further investigated the chaotic goodness that is the Rocky Horror Picture Show and became enamoured with the explicit messages of open sexuality, breaking social norms and utter weirdness that makes up the show. This song is the most recognisable from the show, but by no means diminishes the other pieces that are performed. If possible, I really suggest either seeing a live performance or watching one online because all of the different characters, which you can hear in the recording are produced on the stage; the visuals make all the difference in the holistic experience of listening and I think in this instance, enhances the value you will hold with the song particularly the ever shifting point of views and voice sounds exhibited.

15. Werewolves Of London by Warren Zevon - First and foremost, all credits for this song being in my life go to my father because I have been listening to this with him since before I could write, much less write about music on a blog for my friends and family. Because it was such an integral part of my music experience from a young age, I enjoy examining not just what it means, but what it means to me. The song is based on the 1953 film "Werewolf Of London" and if you haven't seen it, I recommend the viewing of this, because it's a really good movie, but either way you can enjoy the song separately because it stands on it's own. It describes and details a werewolf doing all normal human behaviour and a man meeting him and being like "wow this is really strange". Even just the first line of the song depicting a werewolf getting chinese food at the store is so funny and strange, and then talks about in the next lines a woman being mutilated by werewolves. I love the contrasting images outlined in this piece with such a simple 3-chord progression that is so catchy.

16. Voodoo Child (Slight Return) by Jimi Hendrix - The distortion of the guitar in the intro for this track is so awesome, I cannot get enough of it and it is quintessential Jimi Hendrix classic rock. Hendrix's gruff and raw rock voice comes through amazingly in this song and tells us a story about psychedelic experience of exaggeration with voodoo practice that was popularized especially during the 1960s and 1970s. The image of chopping a mountain down with the edge of one's hand presented in the first verse suggests that this is a drug induced experience in which the narrator is having an out of body vision of this happening, or so we can assume (I don't think Jimi chopped down a mountain, but who knows). As for the much iconic phrase 'voodoo child', I attributed this notion to the feeling of some of the African heritage and cultural spirituality that centers around practice of voodoo which has traced back through centuries. The intervention of God given to shamans or mediums, the servants of the spirits, results in a magic of spiritual nature.

17. Blood In The Bathtub by Bonny Doon - I think the only scary thing pertaining to this song is the title and matching phrase that is repeated in the chorus of this low key song, but otherwise it is really of a loving, sensitive nature for year round enjoyment. Again, the guitar in this song is so present and the riffs included are indicative of some blues inspiration which is really nice and adds a lot of colour. As for the meaning, I ascertained that the speaker feels bad about his actions towards the end of his and the subject's relationship and is trying to explain his feelings about their demise. The aspect I appreciate about this song is that the speaker isn't trying to get back or win the affection of the subject, but instead agree that they have the right to leave and be lost or confused, which is a really valid feeling. The blood can be many things, but I like to see it as an impurity where the goodness (water) of the relationship was supposed to be.

18. Scary Monsters (And Super Creeps) by David Bowie - I often find that this spectacularly strange man can describe feelings that we all have in surreal ways no one would think to, yet do it so precisely we can't help but love it. This is a description I found online for the piece that I think is really perfect and I couldn't say it better myself: "The song title was inspired by a Kellogg’s Corn Flakes ad campaign: “Scary Monsters and Super Heroes”. It describes the feelings of an obsessive man when he gets a shy girlfriend. Though his influence on her initially works out well for the relationship, it becomes too much for her. She soon becomes a recluse, leaves the man, and descends into madness, seeing all strangers as ‘scary monsters’." I love this thought of being terrified of strangers and can relate on days in the city when I don't feel like talking to anyone.

19. Monster by ALASKALASKA - A new song for this mix, which was hard because surprisingly, not many artists cater to the halloween aesthetic genre of songs. I impose the thought that we need some bands/artists that only write for this holiday and season because I want more halloween music, not just the same old same old. This song is not about making someone else the monster, but the other way around of someone making you out to be a monster in order to place blame and flip the script. If you've ever been in a relationship where someone uses an ugly aspect of you in and twists the conversation to make you look bad, you can definitely relate to this song. The electro indie sounds in this song which are discordant and not so pretty go perfectly in line with the songwriter's intentions of meaning, in my opinion.

20. Which Witch by Florence + The Machine - A bonus track and a demo from the How Big How Blue How Beautiful album and quite possibly my favourite song from the album at the same time. This song makes so much sense coming from Welch because she exudes the witchy nature in every way and writes about pagan nature and deity folklore a lot in her music which is so outside the realm of regular music that we are used to, which makes her so likeable and a force in the music industry. This track describes a two fold witch trial: one in the realistic and historical sense of witches being put on trial for having sinister ways and doing unexpected things for women for their time period. The other is her having her heart put on trial for loving in a way that was not desirable from her lover, even though she never tried to hide what she was. Now that she is escaping from the relationship, she explains she has no regret for what has happened, no matter what the man says in retaliation to her opinions.

Thanks for listening and reading!

See you next week,

Julia

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