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spencer-reid-in-a-pool · 4 years ago

Note

A - Z 🤍🤍

I’m assuming this means all the asks! So buckle up LOL. And thank you for taking an interest in lil ole me.

A: How did you come up with the title to [insert fic]?

Since you didn’t specify which title, I’m just going to talk about how I come up with titles in general. Normally, they happen one of two ways. Either I will come up with a title I think sounds cool out of the blue and then base a fic of its vibes, or I will write a fic to completion before deciding on a title. I like to use something that one of the characters say in this situation. It feels very full circle to me, if you will.

B: Any of your stories inspired by personal experience?

Unfortunately, my life is nowhere near as cool as the characters’ lives I write about. So no, I can’t say that my stories are based off personal experience. Unless you count me naming side characters my middle name every so often to indulge myself oops.

C: What member do you identify with most?

I guess by member it means character? And to be honest, I’m not really sure. I relate a lot to Spencer Reid I suppose, because I have never been popular and have always been a target for whatever shit life throws at me. I also like to think I’m kinda intelligent? Although if you look at my grade in my stats class right now, idk what to tell you-

D: Is there a song or a playlist to associate with [insert fic]?

Since there was no specific fic asked about, I can’t really answer this one! But to be honest, I don’t think there are any fics that I have written that I associated with songs.

E: If you wrote a sequel to [insert fic], what would it be about?

The first one that came to mind is Guest Speaker. If I wrote a part three for that, it would probably be fluffy domestic cute stuff with Spencer.

F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

“I don’t even know what it was…it happened so fast. Did you kill it, Geralt?” Jaskier asked in a huff. Geralt crossed his arms, and shook his head. “I figured I should make sure you didn’t die first, bard.” Jaskier nodded, a simple “Ah,” leaving his lips. “Well, no matter. You can fix me right?”

He sounded like he was poking fun at the situation, but I could hear the fear in his words. I decided to try and make him smile before I did this next part. It would be painful.

“Anything for Geralt of Rivia and his emotional support bard.”

(This was just really funny to me for some reason, and I feel like I did a good job with their characterizations! And then Y/N comes back with the emotional support bard comment and it’s something I would say in real life. From this fic.)

G: Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

It depends on my mood! Sometimes if I’m frustrated with a story or a scene, I’ll write them out of order based on what type of thing I feel like writing. But I would say 75% of the time I write my fics in order.

H: How would you describe your style?

To be honest, I have no idea. Do I even have a style? I just write stuff and hope that people read it and like it.

I: Do you have a guilty pleasure in fic (reading or writing)?

Happy endings pfft. So cliche, but like- they make me happy. Unless I am feeling particularly angsty that day and want to make an ending a complete train wreck >:)

J: Write or describe an alternative ending to [insert fic].

In this fic...I would let reader live LMAO. But like- I was feeling angsty that day okay-

K: What’s the angstiest idea you’ve ever come up with?

Reader dying at the end of the fic LMAO, in the fic linked in the previous one above this one.

L: How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Uhh 😬 Maybe once? If that 😅 I’m usually so excited to post that I just kinda go ahead and click post and hope for the best. I rely on spell check and grammar check a lot 💀And I just hope my story flows well.

M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?

I don’t think so! I keep my to do list public so everyone can see what fics I have planned. The only two I don’t have on there are the ones for the upcoming fic swap on @imagining-in-the-margins ‘s discord! But that’s cuz they’re secret :)

N: Is there a fic you wish someone else would write (or finish) for you?

I wish that I would finish the 85486824 WIPS I have, does that count? And that I would write down all the ideas I have in my head that I haven’t even given words yet.

O: How do you begin a story–with the plot, or the characters?

Ooh this is a tough one. I’m not really sure how to answer it actually. There have been fics that I come up with a general idea for a plot for first, and then others I will decide what characters I wanna write for before I have any clue as to what the plot might be.

P: Are you what George R. R. Martin would call an “architect” or a “gardener”? (How much do you plan in advance, versus letting the story unfold as you go?)

Oh I am 100% the type of writer to let the story unfold as I go. I have outlined two, maybe three of my fics? And then I didn’t even follow through with them because I had more ideas come to me as I was writing.

Q: How do you feel about collaborations?

I would literally LOVE to collab with someone!

R: Are there any writers (fanfic or otherwise) you consider an influence?

There are a ton, and I am so sorry if I missed any! @imagining-in-the-margins @randomfandomimagine @reidetic @lexieshuntingsstuff @writing-in-april @reidgraygubler @zhuzhubii @dreatine @andiebeaword @dontkissthewriter @spencers-dria @sunlight-moonrise @personofsinterest @ontheoddoccasioniwritestuff @reidlusts @itslatinamagia

S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?

Oh boy! 😅 There was only one bed, mutual pining, manic pixie dream girl, kissed to keep quiet, just to name a few!

T: Any fandom tropes you can’t stand?

Not that I can think of!

U: Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

But I have way more than three :’( @imagining-in-the-margins is definitely the first one off the top of my head. Last year I was in a really bad spot, and she invited me to her Discord, and it helped me get back into writing. Plus I made some life long friends in the server. @writing-in-april I love her sm because she is always around when I need her, and it’s nice to have a friend that thinks fairly similarly to me. @lexieshuntingsstuff and @reidgraygubler go hand in hand! They are the best sprinting buddies a girl could ask for.

V: If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Ooh this is a tough one. I can’t think of any off the top of my head! Lame answer, I know 😅

W: Do you like more general prompts, or more specific ones?

Definitely more specific ones lol. It makes it a lot easier on me.

X: A character you enjoy making suffer.

Reader >:))

Y: A character you want to protect.

SPENCER REID AND JASKIER OKAY THEY DESERVE THE WORLD

Z: Major character death–do you ever write/read it? Is there a character whose death you can’t tolerate?

Again- Spencer and Jaskier. I will not TOLERATE THEIR ERASURE !!

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tirorah · 4 years ago

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Road to Berlin’s ‘Road to Berlin’ Sure Was a Road to Berlin Episode

Hiya, everyone! It’s that time of the week, but don’t worry, your assigned reading is pretty light this time. Because, honestly? I don’t have much to say about this episode in terms of character arcs or themes or the like. Instead, you’ll find my brief thoughts under the cut, as well as my favorite stuff from Episode 11.

In the end, this episode was a follow-up to the ending of Episode 10, and also the start of the final offensive, which makes Episode 11 the middle chapter of a three-parter. This is always difficult to make satisfying--look at any pre-planned trilogy and you can see the struggle with ramping up the tension while also not blowing the series’ full load, as it needs to set up the final, climactic piece.

Consequently, Road to Berlin (the episode) didn’t do a lot of exciting things; it simply moved the story along. And that’s 100% fine. It’s just not as richly packed with content as most of the season has been. There was also some blatant reuse of old footage again (they really love that shot of Trude brandishing her guns, don’t they?) but again, I felt it was within acceptable parameters. I did feel like the episode was holding back a bit with the aerial combat, though. Seems the Ratte was the biggest star of the show for this week.

Without further ado and in no particular order, here are my favorite things from this episode!

Patton’s Redemption

Sort of. He was still a gloating idiot, but he actually valued Yoshika’s power enough to argue the 501st’s case to his fellow generals, and he showed admirable tenacity when the Neuroi’s full power gradually revealed itself. He didn’t shout nearly as often either, and was much more reasonable. Overall, he was far less cartoony and made a decent start at showing us why he attained his current rank.

Although I’ll never forgive him for this. That, and calling Yoshika a ‘little missy.’

This Line from Minna

It’s delivered calmly, but I like to think this is Diplomatic Minna Speak for ‘Fuck off and up yours, she saved your damn butts!’

And another thing: the doctor said it’d take Yoshika a week to be able to fly again, but Minna wants a delay of ten days, not seven. It seems she wants half a week extra so that Yoshika can recover more, which is both prudent and kind of her.

The Generals Being Children

Both amusement and disbelief filled me as I watched the generals of different nations bicker like bloody schoolyard kids. It’s true what they say: War. War never changes. (And especially not the ego of man.) The fact a bunch of grown men devolved into chest-thumping and throwing crap at one another is hilarious. Even Lucchini’s been more mature than that this season, and that says something!

Shizuka’s Turbulent Emotions

Again, Shizuka shows off her similarities to Trude; I feel like she’s definitely the type to hold this in until it comes spilling out in one ugly cry like it did here. She just wasn’t able to hold it in as long, likely due to her relative youth.

We also finally got to see the one character arc thing in this episode I was hoping for: Shizuka and her relationship with orders. For the entire season, we’ve constantly seen Shizuka’s rigid obedience to orders reinforced. But when Mio tells her to keep the Shinden’s presence a secret, we see the first time an order brings her true, internal conflict. Although it culminated in a good cry and not her disobeying said order, I have a feeling she’ll buck the trend and either tell Yoshika about the Shinden, or fly it herself.

Finally, it’s nice to see that she doesn’t let her injury scare her, and channels her guilt into some awesome attack runs. Much credit to her; she’s grown quite a bit, and not because she’s emulating the others, but by growing into her new responsibilities as a combatant.

Yoshika Doing What She Can

Respect was earned by Yoshika this episode. Although she was obviously disappointed she wouldn’t be able to fly with the others into the final battle, she didn’t let it get her down and decided to do whatever she could to help. That meant we finally got to see her newly attained medical skills again! All those books she checked out in Episode 1 sure came in handy now.

If you will, think back all the way to Season 1, Episode 2 for a moment. A Neuroi attacked the ship bringing Yoshika and Mio to Europe, and a sailor was injured by shrapnel. Back then, Yoshika was severely shaken by the combat, and when she tried to help the sailor with her healing magic, she was promptly rebuked by someone else, as healing him with the shards still inside would only hurt him further.

But here, people rely on Yoshika’s medical knowledge and even Patton greatly respects her for it. Her suggestion to hole up in the Flak Tower is also a huge success, likely saving all of their lives.

Shirley's Amusement at the Ratte

Why, Shirley, what are you insinuating here? Surely Karlsland isn’t compensating for something! They just like their prototypes huge.

And Perrine’s Dismay

Harrumph! Size doesn’t matter, obviously! Just look at Perrine’s chest.

But honestly, someone else pointed this out too: the fact they’re relying so much on experimental and/or new things shows how desperate they are, and how fragile their gains are.

Speaking of The Ratte

The Ratte is awesome. The way its rounds punched through the Neuroi walls... *chef’s kiss* It’s obvious where the love and attention went this episode: all the carnage! We also got to see a lot of Berlin’s ruins, which is a nice change from fighting over ocean and rural landscapes. In my opinion, this was the way to go with the budget.

Also, Dem Walls!

They were so cool! I was amazed by the way they could reform to cover the gap where they were under attack! They even showed the little drones coming in to stack on top of one another. And later on, how the main body used the walls to shield itself from the Ratte’s full power was also very impressive! I love how powerful the walls were, but that the Neuroi’s resources weren’t infinite. That’s how you write your antagonist.

Not to Mention the Dome of Death!

Let’s be honest: we all knew a snag was coming. But not only was this a clever trap by the Neuroi, it also showcased the Neuroi using the debris to build more of themselves!

Miscellaneous Things

Something I didn’t mention in my Episode 10 post was Lynne’s support. She’s been really good at looking out for Shizuka! And she also scored a huge hit on the drone horde, which was great. And this time, Perrine also took the time to reassure Shizuka; as the one who was originally assigned to train Shizuka, it’s good she’s showing her gentler side now.

The 502nd made a brief cameo! I haven’t watched Brave Witches yet, which I’ll have to get on after this season finishes. It was also really cool to see how the other Joint Fighter Wings were pitching in for the war effort. The 501st are definitely the stars of the operation (as they should be), but there’s a multi-prong attack going on off-screen. Exciting stuff!

I also really like the little touches that RtB’s been so good at this entire season. For this episode, it’s the blue tulip on Yoshika’s bedstand. Seeing as the episode starts on the day after the ending of Episode 10, this means someone (maybe Perrine?) had a Queen of Nederland shipped out to Kiel really quickly, just for Yoshika. It’s sweet!

Finally, while Minna and Trude clashed during the previous episode, here they work together to support one another during combat. Trude comes to Minna’s aid the moment she’s attacked.

The Stuff I Thought I’d Get, But Didn’t

I’d speculated on this episode and came up with things I thought I’d get to see. But nope!

First of all, what’s RtB’s deal with Mio? I can’t believe Minna’s had more subtext with Trude than with Mio this season! Even when the two of them finally spoke with one another for the first time since Episode 2, there was no blushing or anything like that! Are the days of Minna and Perrine fawning over Mio over? Is there someone on the writing team who loves Trude like I do, and has the same problems with Mio that I do? This is really...well, weird. I can’t describe it in any other way.

Anyway, she’s now bringing the B-17 to Berlin, meaning she might get involved somehow (and is also bringing the Shinden, possibly so Shizuka can fly it.) But here I was, thinking, ‘Oh, that plane they showed Mio with in the opening, she’ll fly that, and it’s going to have anti-Neuroi armor!’ and yet I’m not seeing any indication of that happening at all. Mio isn’t even in that plane right now. It’s the Ratte who got the anti-Neuroi treatment, and again, Mio’s presence felt...functional, I guess.

There’s something about her screen presence that bothers me, actually. I didn’t think about it before, because she was absent so much it just didn’t cross my mind, but...what happened to good ol’ jolly Mio? I don’t mind her being a bit more serious--RtB’s been a more serious season, after all--but we haven’t had a patented Mio Laugh since the first episode, and I miss it. Let’s hope the final episode gives her a nice sendoff.

Secondly, for all the fuss they made about Yoshika and Shizuka’s conditions with that downright tragic ending in Episode 10, the two of them bounced back pretty fast. It’s literally been a day and Shizuka’s already running around fine? And Yoshika doesn’t seem to be experiencing any lingering negative effects of her overexertion? (Aside from the obvious.) For a season that’s so focused on consequences and a consistency in tone, I feel like the two of them got off a bit light.

I was also expecting Trude and possibly Minna and Lynne having sad moments because ‘oh no, people we care about are hurt!’ but because Yoshika and Shizuka seem mostly fine, that didn’t happen at all.

Usually, Episode 11 is the one that ends on a somber note, but here it seems they moved that to Episode 10, and instead had Episode 11 strike a more optimistic tone. No one really showed off their flaws, either; maybe Episode 10 was the bookend to that theme after all?

Into the End

The episode ends on a very interesting note. Everyone finds out Yoshika is also trapped inside the Neuroi dome--and why, exactly, was no one informed of her presence on the Ratte?!--and they’re ordered to mount a rescue operation for their besieged comrades.

And then Trude comes with this absolutely surprising revelation:

I imagine at least one staff member had a chuckle at the fact the cast is now embarking on another Road (in)to Berlin.

The what, now? This wasn’t built up or alluded to at all; I have questions, show! Not to mention, how does Trude even know about this? And why is she the one announcing it, and not Minna, the world’s best mom and team captain?

Anyway, the preview seems to indicate some sort of tunnel run--I briefly wondered if they’d have to venture in on foot, but it seems to be big enough for them to fly.

This shot is ominous.

I’m highly intrigued by this decision. Obviously, the final confrontation will play out outside, but to yank the Witches from the air and into a much more claustrophobic space is a confident move. I can only imagine the surprises the final episode has up its sleeve.

Anyway, all in all, this was a decent episode, and while it did have lots of neat little character moments, it’s obviously setup for what I hope to be a spectacular ending.

Even if it doesn’t quite deliver next week, though, RtB’s been so consistently great that it’s already cemented itself as my favorite show ever.

#strike witches #road to berlin

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kayluh1915 · 4 years ago

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Questions for Fanfic Authors.

I answered these like... five years ago or so, but because the 6th anniversary of my first ever posted fanfic is coming up, so I thought I’d do this again just to see how far I’ve come over the years. It’s always nice to look back to see just how much you’ve changed and grown as a person.

Enjoy this completely useless information!

Stuck it under the cut because I don’t want to take up your dash space! <3

1. Describe yourself how you would describe a character you’re introducing. The young woman was shorter than average with long, curly brunette hair and eyes that matched the color of warm sea water . Although plus sized, she was healthy and stout especially in her legs where her muscles were the most defined. She was indeed a beautiful young woman.

2. Is there any specific ritual you go through while/before/after your writing? Eh, not really. I usually just get an idea and run with to see where it goes. If I think it’s worth exploring, I’ll properly plan or whatever needs to be done to flesh it out. At most, I listen to some ambiance to keep my ADHD occupied.

3. What Is Your ABSOLUTE FAVORITE kind of fic to write? As some of you already know, my guilty pleasures are mpreg, sickfics, and angst. My newest one is A/B/O, but I’m very picky about how it’s written and I have yet to write anything with it (hint hint, wink wink). I also enjoy writing smut, but I don’t normally post it.

4. Are there any other fic writers you admire? If so, who and why? I have a few, but they’re all spread out between different fandoms.

5. How many words can you write if you sit down and concentrate intensely for an hour? It depends. It’s rare for me to be able to focus that long unless I’m in a hyper-focus. I think my record is around 3,000 or so.

6. First fic/pairing you wrote for? I first wrote for the Ianthony fandom and my first story was a Oneshot I called “Polar Bear Swimming.” My first multi-chaptered fic was also for the Ianthony fandom and it’s called “Miracle.” Both are almost six-years-old and I don’t recommend reading them if you want to keep your eyesight, but they’re still up if you’re a daredevil. Just read at your own risk.

7. Inspiration, Time, Or Motivation? Choose Two. Inspiration is usually never that big of an issue for me, so definitely time and motivation.

8. Why do you choose to write? It’s an escape from reality... and it’s just really fun to pair people together. It most likely will never happen in real life, but it sure is fun as hell to make it happen in works of fiction. I also can’t draw worth crap, so words had to do.

9. Do you have plans to write anything other than Fanfiction? I might at some point. I wanted to have a book published not fanfic related by the time I was 21, but I’m 24 now and it hasn’t happened yet. Maybe one day, but for now I’m pretty content with writing fanfic.

10. What inspires you the most? Anything can be inspiration for me.

11. Weirdest thing you’ve ever written/thought about writing? Most of the things I write and think about are pretty normal for shippers, but the non-trans mpreg and A/B/O is definitely weird to the average person so probably that.

12. Fic(s) that you wished you had written better. EVERYTHING on my Wattpad. Everything over there absolutely reeks of new shipper and first time writer, but I keep it up just as a reminder of how much I have improved over the years. If you check it out, please do so at your own risk.

13. Favorite fic from another author? I have different ones spread through different fandoms, so I guess I’ll just name one from each fandom I’ve participated in. Some of these are old, but they’re still great!

Ianthony: Brilliant Blood, Beautiful Bones by @holmessexual-subtext. In fact, all of their works are just wonderful. Love you, Patricia! <3

Rhink: The Murmur of Yearning by @its-mike-kapufty. A wonderful writer/beta and an even better person. Hope you’re doing well, sweetie! <3

Victuuri: The Shadows On My Wall Don't Sleep

Danvin: The Robin to your Batman (the Louis Lane to your Superman)

Reylo: Baby, It's Just Biology

Freewood: Life is Good

14.Your favorite side pairings to put in? I tend to not use side pairings, but when I do it’s usually taken from real life couples.

15. Your guilty writing pleasure? Same as number three.

16.Do you have structured ideas of how your story is supposed to go, or make it up as you write? Normally, when I get an idea, I just throw it out on a word document. There’s no structure to it, it’s literal brain splatter. If I think it’s worth writing, I’ll then flesh it out to make it coherent. I used to do this only for my chaptered stories, but I now do this with my oneshots as well.

17. Would you describe yourself as a fast writer? Eh, it depends. Sometimes if I’m hyper-focused, I can usually type things out pretty fast, but more often than not, it takes a while.

18. How old were you when you first started writing? I wrote my first story on Microsoft Word 2003 when I was eight or nine-years-old. It was called The Little Ice Skater and it was just a poor retelling of the Disney movie Ice Princess and it was typed with caps lock on because I thought it looked cool.

19: Why did you start writing? I HATED reading stories because there would always be something about them that I wanted to change, so I guess my little 4th grade self just got tired of it and started making her own.

20. Four sentences from a work that you’re most proud of.

He’d known for years that Dan loved him no matter what, but what about his friends and coworkers? Would they have looked at him differently? Or would he even have any friends left at all? The answer seemed obvious now, but at the time he had been so unsure.

From my most recent in-progress fic Don’t Be Afraid of Who You Are for the Danvin fandom. It does contain trans-mpreg (shocker, i know) so if you wanna give it a chance, please be aware of that.

#kayla's ramblings #questions for fanfic authors #i would tag fandoms since i mention like six in this post but i don't want to clutter their tags so this is it

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thesausagequest · 5 years ago

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I am a sausageman of some renown as you probably already know if you...nown me? I have sausaged on many (two is many) continents, I’ve had good sausages, bad sausages, sausages I’ve measured against a baby, sausages I’ve accidentally put down on a seat at a cinema, sausages in pubs, bars, food markets, hockey games, on a boat one time and in a made-up place called ‘Prague’ that has a big clock that everyone pretends is real ok everyone it’s real. I once had a sausage from a place that suggested I lick my fingers instead of using a napkin. This is all documented in my previous work I would cite my sources but I literally am my source.

But I have never. Ever. Ever. Probably. Ever. Come across something as vile. As disgusting. As….vile. As this monstrosity.

When I emailed myself the photographs that I took of this sausage abomination, I gave the email the subject line ‘Bad Sausage’. That is true, and hopefully it a) gives you an idea of my feelings for this badpipe (not bagpipe that is a side project) and b) gives a thrilling - but safe - insight into how many photographs of sausages I send myself and also c) how proud my parents are.

These wretched, cylindrical, sweating foultubes were a lockdown emergency sausage situation - we have all had them I have asked everyone - and were very much a case of ‘I’d like these sausages please, John Tesco’, I call him John. At the outset, the auspices were good. There were sausages. That’s the extent of the auspices.

I got them in the pan - that makes it sound like I had to wrestle them which I did not but I think I did wrestle with my subconscious and sausage-sense which clearly knew trouble lay ahead - and cooked them. That’s the bare minimum, just in case you’re not as experienced as I am. Cook them prior to eating. Although it did not help in this scenario, it may have made them worse, we will surely never know.

The plan - which turned out to be folly, it was like a sausage Operation Market Garden but it is doubtful the movie about this sausage disaster will have as good a cast as A Bridge Too Far - was to cook - see above - two of these SUPPOSED nicepipes and then have them in a sandwich with a fried egg and some brown sauce, which is uniquely British in that we took the most disgusting colour, made a sauce that colour, then instead of calling it ‘lovely sauce’ or whatever we just stuck with brown sauce.

Look here is the lovely sauce.

I won’t show the cooking process, you’ll have to subscribe to my YouTube channel for that except it keeps getting taken down because they think Sausage Man 2000 is some sort of smut and not just a man enjoying meatpipes.

Here is the finished article, the Hindenburg of sandwiches. The bread and egg are fine and were of lower stakes to begin with, the lovely sauce is wonderful and brown. But the sausages my god. If there is a god. I can’t believe there would be one that would allow these to exist. They were simultaneously horrifically smooth in texture, but also contained what I can only describe as ‘grit’, but it’s unlikely to be grit isn’t it. It’s a bit of animal and I don’t know what bit but if I were to guess I’d say that if animals wore trousers it would be covered most of the time.

This is to sausages what a terrible sausage is to sausages. Greasy, textureless other than the trouser grit we discussed earlier [SausageQuest, 2020] and an all-round sandwich ruiner. Look at them again.

What’s the green bit? It’s not herbs! Is it a heretofore unknown part of animal genitalia discovered by John Tesco to befoul this even further? Don’t answer that as this food is now a part of me and I just can’t think about it. If I were to see, say, an elderly person putting these in their trolley I would dive on them like a grenade - the person, not the sausages - and say NO, YOU FOUGHT IN THE ‘PRAGUE’ THING, possibly breaking their hip and my own.

CURRENT LENGTH - I DON’T COUNT THESE AS SAUSAGES MORE AS SEMI-MYTHICAL TRIALS SENT TO TEST ME SO STILL 638CM

SAUSAGE RATING - 10/10 NO I AM JOKING I AM SUCH A JAPESTER IT’S 0/10

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embryon-heartbreaker · 5 years ago

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Finally getting around to this! Sorry about the delay! My phone doesn't have all of the emojis, so sorry about that. I'll add them in if I have them.

🎥 Do you have any favorite scenes from your hyperfixation?

Since my current hyperfixation is Digital Devil Saga and Quantum Devil Saga, I'll do an answer for both!

DDS: One of my favorite scenes that comes to mind from the first game has to be Heat interrogating Harley about Sera. Specifically, you can hear the build up in his voice. The desperation, the frustration, and just sheer emotion welling up as it practically explodes as his irises flash red. It's amazingly well delivered, and his voice actor did an amazing job! Haven't heard this scene in Japanese yet, though. I really want to! This, and the entire balcony scene at the end of the Amusement Park dungeon. You know what, I loved that entire dungeon tbh. Also, almost all of the scenes in dds2 were great, and I can't pick just one!

QDS: Part of me wants to say "Every part where Serph describes Heat", but I honestly feel like it'd be a bit cliche(even though those parts are GREAT!).

Although, I'd have to narrow it down to the parts where you can really see Gale's personality and mental state shining through his programming and conditioning, and almost any time Cielo and Sera are together. Those two are so adorable! So many books and shows feel the need that if a boy and a girl are close that they need to be romantically involved! It's absolutely refreshing to see those two being as close as a pair of siblings, and their relationship honestly reflects that. Also Cielo's line of "Your smile is better than any medicine!"(or something along those lines) just kills me from cuteness every time!

💕 Tell us about one of your favorite characters and why you like them!

Out of both pieces of media, I honestly can't pick just one character. I might end up picking two, honestly. XD

DDS: Heat is definitely a high candidate for "favorite character". No, this isn't because of "hurhur big hot beefy man me likey!" Legitimately, I find his character incredibly interesting and compelling. He goes from this angry and aggressive man who probably caused at least 1 character to have anxiety problems, to someone who quite honestly cares a lot about those under his care. During the return to the Maribel's base, he is the ONLY PERSON to voice concern about the fact that the only person with a High Atma who could protect Sera was Cielo. He was worried about the kids back at their base, and after you fight Bat, HE is the only one who immediately makes a b-line straight back to base. I'm not even going to get into the whole "Destiny Castle" deal, and everything that happens in dds2, because we'd be here all day otherwise.

Second favorite character in DDS would probably be Cielo. He starts out as the happy-go-lucky comic relief, but from the start, even before his emotions fully awaken, he shows signs of worrying and caring about everyone. He voices concerns when Heat suggests going to the Vanguards' base, and he's even still very close to Gale after the guy went berserk and tried to eat him! Let's not forget how he and Sera still have a brother/sister relationship in the games as well!

Although, I feel like his character fully blossoms during the second game, where one of the minor villains not only causes him to actually snap, but he still finds it in him to smile, laugh, and joke, despite his world almost literally crumbling around him.(Also, not trying to spoil this for anyone else, but the first time I watched through dds2, and I made it to the part where Cielo dances and jokes about showing God his "Latin Rhythms", the context of what had happened just prior, and what was going to happen… Seeing him do that fucking broke me. I was actually curled up on my bed under fuzzy blankets, my box of tissues next to me, crying. Bless you, funky little Cielo.)

QDS: GALE. 100%, one of my favorite characters by far in the books(besides still Heat and Cielo), would be Gale. Why, you might ask?

Gale in the books is shown to be exceptionally intelligent, but has a hard time comprehending his own emotions and expressing them. He tries to bury his own inner turmoils and anxieties under his own work, although he still cares a lot about the well being of his teammates, especially Serph, and that's beyond his programming as a Bishop. He is also shown to be very creative with his planning, and is able to relatively accurately judge how people may react to certain situations, despite not understanding himself. Also, he has some slight nervous fidgets(tapping his fingers on desks, rubbing his temples, etc), and he is shown to, despite having Sera's calming presence and the effects of her blood(long story) nearby, he does visibly have a lot of anxiety at having his whole world and environment changed, as well as his careful routine, and has a tendency to hyperfocus on things, and he spirals into a loop of repeating thoughts when Serph ends up causing Gale to question if his loyalty lies with Serph or with the Tribe.

Gale. Is. AUTISTIC.

I, myself, am Autistic. I have ADD, and a severe anxiety disorder on top of this. QDS is probably one of the best written autistic/neuroatypical characters I have ever come across, and he's not played off as "comic relief", "childish", or even bordline sociopathic! He CARES! He cares A LOT! He even ends up in a healthy and stable relationship in the end! Also, he's the team's designated driver, holder of the braincells, and the team mom!

(Also, I like all of the characters in the books one way or another. They're all wonderfully written, and I enjoy them all a lot!! 8D)

🍀 Do you have any kins or comfort characters from your hyperfixation?

Hm… I'm not entirely sure how to respond to this. I'm guessing this means whichever characters give me the most happy feelies?

DDS: Almost all of the Embryon squad+Roland. Characters that give me the most happy feelies would probably actually be Cielo, Sera, Heat, Gale...I'm probably gonna end up listing all of them. XD Also, O'Brien. Part Irish people unite!!!!

QDS: Gale for obvious reasons(I need to post/reblog my drawing of him later), Sera for being the physical embodiment of "babey", Cielo for being something similar, any time Serph and Heat are together and Heat's not being angry, and Argilla around Jinana.

Noticing that this is more situational, but this is the best way I can describe this.

This was really fun to to do! Everyone is free to ask me whatever they want! 8D

#;angel lookalike #ask meme #this was really fun to do! 8D

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1000-directions · 6 years ago

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annual writing self-evaluation

All answers should be about works published in 2018.

tagged by: N O B O D Y, i’m the one getting the party started this year 😎i’m going to tag every writer i follow, so please feel free to fill this out for yourself without feeling obligated to read my answers if you’re not into it!

i. Optional if applicable: link to last year’s self evaluation:

2017!

1. List of works published this year (in the order that they were posted):

tonight make me unstoppable

turn to dust or to gold

spring cleaning

since we’re alone

this modern love

i still remember

the gentlest feeling

think i’m gonna win this time

nothing but dreams inside

sending postcards to myself

dust to dust

lullaby for the new world order

gold dust in our hands

#ship 1d with superheroes 2k18

cloud on my tongue

sing it one last time

(unpublished winterhawk fic that will be arriving next weekend)

2. Work you are most proud of (and why):

hmmmm. i mean, if you count the luckyverse as a whole as one work, then obviously that. i’ve put a lot of time and thought into developing this relationship and finding ways to progress it over the course of several years and trying to justify why we are examining their relationship at the specific times that the stories take place. it’s the hardest i’ve worked on anything, it’s the most time i’ve spent on one idea, it’s the longest thing i’ve ever created, it’s the most i’ve ever enjoyed writing, and it’s gotten the most satisfying response. it’s not the most popular thing i’ve ever done, and i know there will be fewer and fewer people showing up for each successive part, but the people who support this have been just...the most generous and wonderful, and creating this thing has been such a rewarding experience for me.

3. Work you are least proud of (and why):

nope, this year i’m pretty proud of everything 🙃

4. A favorite excerpt of your writing:

from this modern love:

“Buck,” Louis says, and he’s looking at Bucky so openly, gazing at him so adoringly, and his fingertips are so gentle against Bucky’s face. He isn’t holding anything back, and it’s one of those moments where Bucky almost steps out of his own head and sees himself from a distance, and he has to tell himself, this is your life, you get to have this now.

“It was a nice day,” Bucky says instead. “I’m really glad I got to be a part of it.”

“You’re going to be a part of everything from now on,” Louis says, tracing the arch of Bucky’s eyebrow with his thumb. “Shit, I can’t stop touching you.”

“Don’t stop touching me,” Bucky says. His hands are on Louis’ hips, anchoring him in place, and they feel hot where they meet Louis’ clothing. His right palm is sweating, and his left is crackling with the anticipation.

There are two categories of energy. There’s kinetic energy, the energy of motion. The energy of Bucky reaching through space and time against all the odds to meet this man, to run after him down the street, to touch his body and kiss his sacred mouth.

And the other category is potential energy, the energy that is stored up and kept secure for the future when you’re ready for it. The energy of possibility, the energy that hasn’t done anything yet but promises you maybe, maybe, maybe.

5. Share or describe a favorite comment you received:

i got a lot of comments along the lines of ‘i didn’t expect this to work, but it did,’ which always brings me joy. i reread @queerlyalex‘s comment on nothing but dreams inside whenever i’m feeling :/ about myself and my writing. all seven comments on cloud on my tongue are so precious to me because i loved writing that one so, so much, it was my love letter to lucky and how far they’ve come. i really just treasure the people who are still hanging in there and reading about my precious weirdos and really picking up on all the things i was trying to do with that story.

6. A time when writing was really, really hard:

any time i have to write a scene with more than two characters is a struggle. the absolute worst ones this year were freddie’s birthday party and bucky and louis’ dinner party. just the worst. more than two characters is too many to keep track of.

7. A scene or character that you wrote that surprised you:

genuinely everything. at the end of last year, i was planning to write one (1) lucky fic for rarepair fest, and i was planning to write trans spiderlou, and that was it. and instead, this turned in the year of lucky, the #ship 1d with superheroes 2k18 that i was not expecting.

8. How did you grow as a writer this year:

last year, i was very focused on being a more minimalist writer, on ignoring plot and just writing the parts that i found interesting, just quick projects in one sitting for as long as they held my interest. this year, i spent more time stretching out inside a scene, just settling in and letting it take as long as it needed to take. i learned how to sustain my own interest in an idea for longer than a few hours. it used to be that if i didn’t finish something in one sitting, i didn’t finish it at all. meanwhile, i can’t even tell you how many sittings i’ve spent on lucky over the last year, and i’m still excited about it and invested in it. i wouldn’t say that i appreciate the concept of plot much more than i used to -- i’m still much more focused on small moments of character interaction. but i’ve learned to embrace the concept of outlining in order to make sure i cover everything i want to cover, and i’m not so afraid of the passage of time anymore.

9. How do you hope to grow next year:

this is my answer from last year:

i would like to try some new pairings. this is weird, but i’ve never really written a true nouis story? it feels like i should have, but i haven’t, and that’s something i wouldn’t mind tackling next year. also, when i first started out, i didn’t feel comfortable leaving canon behind because i worried that i didn’t have a strong enough grip on my characters yet, and i feared that if i started writing AUs or whatever, my characters would become unrecognizable. but i’d like to keep venturing out and trying new worlds and tropes. i want to write more trans characters. i’d like to write an ace fic. i’d like to bring my eye to things i haven’t written before and see what happens.

things i did this year: tried new pairings, wrote a true nouis story, wrote AUs, wrote more trans characters. and although it’s not explicitly identified in the story, bucky is demi in luckyverse, so i guess you could say i wrote an ace fic. so...i’m pretty pleased with all that.

‘i’d like to bring my eye to things i haven’t written before and see what happens’ is always going to be my writing mantra, i think. this year was very heavily focused on lucky, so i think i’d like to write more diversely next year, focusing on other stuff as well. i’d like to write more marvel stories, and i’d like to play around with winterhawk more and maybe find my own preferred niche inside that particular pairing. i just want to keep pushing myself and trying new things.

10. Who was your greatest positive influence this year as a writer (could be another writer or beta or cheerleader or muse etc etc):

i will say that @dearmrsawyer really stepped up and became my absolute mvp this year. jamila is the best for pure brainstorming, for just coming up with an idle idea and running with it until it’s something huge and important and vital to whatever project i’m working on. there is very little i wrote this year that she didn’t have a hand in to some extent. @nightwideopen was absolutely lucky’s #1 cheerleader, which means so much to me. @queerlyalex is always the best in terms of pure positivity and encouragement, about writing, about not writing, about life, about everything. @fleetwooded has been such a perfect beta for me, someone i absolutely trust to tell me the truth about whether or not something works, someone who is so thoughtful with comments and ideas, someone whose eye i 100% trust. @sarcathlon made me art!!!! holy shit, i’m never going to be over it, genuinely the nicest and most supportive compliment ever. and of course, bucky barnes has my entire heart and i’m never gonna stop yelling about how he is a good boy trying his best.

11. Anything in your real life show up in your writing this year:

uh, yes. lol. all of bucky’s anatomical awareness is a result of my stupid useless anatomy degree. at least i finally got to use it for something!! a lot of bucky’s anxiety and panic is based on my own. bucky’s hatred and fear of grocery stores is literally me.

12. Any new wisdom you can share with other writers:

i’m always going to say to write the stories that you want to write, and fuck all the writing rules that tell you there’s a specific way to tell a story. tell it your way. have fun. writing is pointless if you don’t genuinely enjoy it, because we aren’t getting paid for this, and most of us aren’t going to write things that are wildly popular, so the joy has to come from the creation of it. if you expect the joy to come entirely from other people’s responses to your work, you’re going to be disappointed. if you love what you write, then you are guaranteed that at least one person is going to love what you wrote. that’s all i got.

13. Any new projects you’re looking forward to starting (or finishing) in the new year:

we’ve got two (or three 😩) more parts of the luckyverse in the wings, and i want to write my zayn character study. everything else is up for grabs.

14. Tag three writers/artists whose answers you’d like to read:

listen, i’m tagging e v e r y o n e who i think wrote something this year because i wanna get this thing going again. so please, if i accidentally skipped you, or if you are someone i don’t follow who is reading this and you want to do it, please feel free, just say i tagged you.

@magicalrocketships @veryniceandgood @bigbrotherlouis @secretspeller @ferryboatpeak @zaptains @jiksax @mildlymaddy @dearmrsawyer @saysthemagpie @polaroidgirlfriend @clarz @imlouisaf @queerlyalex @nothanksweregood @musingsofmaura @niallspringsteen @foliealou @tintedglasses @sarcathlon @nocontrolforlouis @fleetwooded @nightwideopen @captn-sara-holmes @flawedamythyst @akai-coat @claraxbarton @kangofu-cb

#me me me #long post #writing #year in review #goodbye 2018 #it's hilarious how long this takes to do when no one is going to read it but it was nice to organize my own thoughts about the year i had

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marvelousmerriment · 5 years ago

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I just really wanna rant about Aladdin 2019:

(( this is incredibly long with not well thought out sentences because I genuinely just want to rant. Also Grammarly came for my neck and I don’t feel like going through and fixing typos because I’ll rewrite the whole thing))

So for starters, I had really low expectations. I was not excited and have been extremely skeptical since day 1. But I’m not going not see this dumb stuff because I can’t resist being a mindless consumer and I want to have a real opinion.

Arabian Nights opened with such a strong premise, but the sudden cut to introduce the sultan, jasmine, aladdin, and then Jafar at the cave of wonders was SO weirD? Like music video weird? You don’t need to show flashes of the characters to the audience??? We already know what movie we’re watching?

One Jump continues in the realm of twisting the original and flowing out of order? It was a great introduction to Aladdin’s theif ways but the choppy camera work just threw me out of the song. There was a moment where Aladdin and Jasmine are walking hand in hand down an alley and the footage literally FAST FORWARDS to get them on the caravan??? It was just not great. ALSO the freaking “I’d blame parents” scene with the Harem suddenly being a group of girls in school made me laugh!! The whole song was just kind of missing that vibrant feeling of the original and it sacrificed entertainment for realism.

I enjoyed Aladdin & Jasmine getting to know each other and her little white lie. And his sneaking into the castle was cute and felt a little more authentic to the story (vs Jafar lying that he got killed?) but Aladdin saying “Meet me tomorrow night” or whatever and her following up with that just didn’t make any sense??? If Ali/Aladdin wants to keep up the rouse that he was pretending to be a commoner later in the film why would he arrange a second date with this girl. ON TOP OF THAT why would she trust him so much later on if nothing in his stories adds up? So that entire concept just got lost to me.

As expected, introducing the Genie really picks up the film and I enjoyed it a lot. Will Smith was AMAZING and I was pleasantly surprised by how much I enjoyed his performance. Friend Like Me was well done and their chemistry was immediately a light at the end of this tunnel. I was smiling and laughing all the way up to the Prince Ali sequence.

Now. Prince Ali. Fabulous He. This song was a mess mess. Aladdin’s immediate discomfort even though he knew nobody would recognize him stole that moment where he could’ve been more excited to be there. The singing was rough, the VERY small ensemble was hilarious....it just kind of sucked. I enjoyed the *finale* of the song and Genie’s change of “heard your princess was a sight lovely to see” - it just fit his characterization and I laughed.

Ali’s introduction highlighted how awkward and unprepared Aladdin was and I liked that. Although Jasmine’s “not a prize to be won” line is so iconic I’m surprised it wasn’t....there? The party was nice - Smith once again stealing the entire show by doing the bare minimum tbh.

Whole New World was exactly what we expected and I was practically indifferent. The lead up with Dahlia/Genie was CUTE. But Jasmine’s interrogation of where his kingdom was didn’t really....make sense if hours later she realizes him and Aladdin are the same? That’s where the writing just started to fall apart for me. Is Jasmine this smart or not? Is she naive or not? Make up your mind and don’t pad your script with these randomly unnecessary “little white lie turned big” challenges.

Following this....the plot started to turn to sand for me. So they skip to the following day to have 1. aladdin‘s near-death second wish 2. Jafar being revealed as evil and being locked up even though he was going to escape? 3. Aladdin reveals to genie he was going to save his last wish (which was the only scene I felt like Mena was acting to a greenscreen???) 4. Aladdin randomly go into the city where he encounters a thief Jafar who has already escaped his obviously unnecessary prison....like what was the point of that padding if it was just going to end in Jafar getting the lamp? That could’ve all stayed in the castle without the dramatics. NIGHT arrives in all this - but then it’s the next day and Jafar has time to rearrange himself dramatically on the throne room steps and a weirdly rehearsed entourage comes in??? Did Aladdin stay at his old home the entire night and not realize he didn’t have the lamp in that entire time? Did it take him a whole evening to get back to the palace? Where was aladdin in all this???

*sigh* Jafar is such a fantastic Disney villain and to see him reduced to this was really rough for me. He gets his sultan-ness, and there’s this padded INCREDIBLY forced scene that leads into Speechless. And then he becomes a sorcerer because why? The guards don’t listen to him anymore? One of the best parts of the original movie is that Jafar is so power hungry he is BOOM wish BOOM wish and then sits on his third. That’s what the Genie meant when he describes “that guy” and the bad things “that guy” does. Making Jafar’s ambitions out to be “I’ll show you guys who’s boss” instead of his original nature was just so boring. The torture of the characters was stupid. The sudden “THEN MARRY ME PRINCESS” came out of nowhere because he showed no signs of being attracted to Jasmine before or thinking himself suitable for her hand. The original highlights how creepy it is that Jafar wants Jasmine to marry him - and that isn’t touched on?? in this version??? You make Jafar younger and arguable more handsome than his source material and you leave out the part where he wants the princess? Okay I guess.

WHICH LEADS ME TO MY NEXT GRIPE: The axe of the slave jasmine scene? Now, we all know that scene isn’t perfect but the message behind it is showing how calculating Jasmine is and how easily tricked Jafar was! If they are making us sit through another time jump where Jafar plans a quick wedding - and Aladdin’s in the artic - you’re telling me that he wouldn’t attempt the “make someone fall in love with you” moment? The entire concept of that original scene is a distraction. Aladdin is coming back and Jasmine is distracting Jafar. The entire concept of Speechless (reprise 2) being imaginary also steals a lot of signifigance from her message. It was just so unecessary. ((I’m also noteably not a fan of Pasek and Paul so I wasn’t expecting much from that song or it’s context))

So they axe that completely, Jasmine just gets to stand there and cry, and then jump off the balcony for a COMPLETELY. USELESS??? LAMP CHASE??? with the SCARIEST CGI MONSTER BIRD EVER?!?! - a whole choppy mess! All this extra expensive CGI carpet chase material that ends in Aladdin/Jasmine crashing, Carpet fucking DYING???, and Jafar with the lamp again. Why???

Following that dumpster fire, I did cry during the genie’s freedom scene because it was very very well done. Will Smith solidified himself as his own version of the genie and I adored that. My only wish is that Jasmine/her dad/Dahlia had been paying attention? It was kind of off that they weren’t. Genie confessing to Dahlia was cute but rushed, followed but the rushed reveal that she was the mother of the children in the beginning and that that was human him. It just felt like “oh god we gotta hurry and finish this because we spent an extra 40 minutes PADDING THIS MOVIE”

Aladdin sneaking away was cute, but waht we didn’t need was someone saying “is that the princess?!” following the ‘nobody’s seen her in years’ plot hole. She was present at the Prince Ali parade where Genie made a direct connection with the Sultan.....anyone could look up and assumet the girl in the NICE DRESS was her? Idk. That’s just me being picky.

The kiss transition was pretty. The final dance scene was very cute and I’d kill to see some fun B roll of that filming because it looked like a lot of fun. It was a sweet ending to a sour film.

I’m critical as hell of these remakes because I don’t see a lot of excuses to straying from basic elements of the source material. This movie is advertised like a remake....so act like it? Padding on padding for extra storylining and moderinizing the classics doesn’t make the film better. You’re delivering a fresh take to THE SAME AUDIENCE + their children. So I just don’t understand the obsession (also shown with BatB) with modernizing every single aspect of the princesses’ story. Belle & Jasmine are already some of the best princess role models predating Tiana. Princesses are special in their own way. A modern woman can relate to Mulan just as much as she relates to Snow White. Creating this “fresh” storyines to appease the ignorant modern audience is just so...boring.

Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk. I’m gonna go watch the original now.

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simplycarrie · 6 years ago

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yeethaw and welcome to ‘sierra drops a muse because she’s bored’ i’m your host sierra. and i’m here to introduce you to my smol kid Carrington, who might i add broke my streak of space names but whatever. also i’m 110% sure this bio is going to be a) long and b) something v different from what i usually do

╰☆╮ HALEY LU RICHARDSON ─ CARRINGTON ‘CARRIE’ ALDERIDGE-SANGSTER identifies as CIS-FEMALE and uses SHE/HER pronouns. they’re a SINGER-SONGWRITER/ACTRESS, and they’re only TWENTY ! they’re said to be WARM-HEARTED, but also DOGMATIC. i guess that’s why they’re known as THE FERVOUR in the tabloids. ( florence welch / lauren jauregui )

the baby doll + the contingent — aka her early years [ infant to 12. musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ]

carrington amelia elizabeth alderidge-sangster was subject to the same cruelty as her half-sister anastasia, getting the longest fucking name possible. although she doesn’t go by carrington, both her friends and family call her ‘carrie’

she was born june 30th making her a cancer: ‘ the crab. cancerians are seen as sensitive and emotional, and in fact they are. they’re the cry babies of the zodiac, though they’re a lot tougher than people give them credit for. they’re maternal and caring and empathetic as all heck, with a tendency towards traditional values- deep down, they want the white picket fence. along with virgo and libra, they’re one of the most romantic of the signs.’ but this information won’t be relevant until later

was v spoiled as child, and got basically anything she wanted? caused her to be a bit of a brat as a kid and she constantly needed validation from others. she had the picture perfect childhood if we’re being completely honest

always wanted attention, always needed to make sure that she knew other people were aware that she needed their attention

then she was shipped off to le rosey to follow in her sister anastasia’s footsteps and boy oh boy thing changed for her

the sovereign + the opulent — aka her teenage years [ 13 to 18. musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ]

remember how i said that carrington was very needy and constantly wanted validation? yeah just about the moment she stepped foot on the lush green grass of le rosey she changed

was immediately the girl who was colgate smiles and perfect posture on school brochures, brandishing a tennis racket beneath a blurb about the institute’s proficiency in churning out well-rounded pupils, but underneath? she was the devil’s reincarnate of blair waldorf.

although her sister was two years ahead of her but left a reputation behind with her, and so in turn carrington was immediately popular, and she used it to her advantage

mixing in her family’s pre-established wealth ( which she flaunted at literally every opportunity she got ) with new-found popularity carrington ruled the school brandishing a fashionably velvet fist

she was bitchy to everyone, she disregarded other people’s feelings was callous and abrasive, and didn’t care what anyone had to say about her ( because she’d end up ruining their reputation and smiling in their face afterwards )

although her family wanted her to be like anastasia playing tennis and being the model student ( which she was for her first year ) she ended up finding her passion for music, quickly joining and leading le rosey’s school choir

carrington was smarter than anyone ( including herself ) gave her credit for, she aced all of her classes, and was on the road to becoming le rosey’s next valedictorian

then, she met him. the supposed ‘love of her life’. the one who was so close to making her soften and lose track of her studies, and just run away with him. until, she found someone ‘better’ stabbing him in the back, and promptly sashaying away from the damage

though leaving him was perhaps the biggest mistake she ever made, the ‘better’ thing she found turned out to be much worse. she was abused emotionally and physically, and they had sex whenever he felt like it.

suddenly she was with child, and in a panic she called stas, who took her to get an abortion without her family knowing, to this day stas is the only person knows about her daughter that never came to be, supposed to be named cornelia anastasia daphne alderidge-sangster

finally senior year approached and not wanting to break her facade carrington continued on her studies, and when she graduated she was given the honor of valedictorian ( along with winning prom queen at both her junior and senior prom )

the fervour + the fallen angel — aka the current years [ 19 to present. musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ]

carrington had plenty of offers to go to college, but the one she settled on was the juilliard school in manhattan, new york she earned her aa in both acting and vocal arts, and also has full intentions of returning to juilliard in the spring to achieve her ba in those same two things

of course carrington’s talents didn’t go unnoticed, she was quickly offered a netflix show which is currently recording it’s first season, being one of the top rated netflix comedies/dramas ( think ‘one day at a time’ and ‘brooklyn nine-nine’ )

she’s very different from when she was a teenager, after her mother fell ill, and her step-father passed away she’s become very sensitive to the feelings of others, and her own feelings, she’s very maternal and will try to protect everyone, no matter how atrocious of a job she does

she’s very much a hopeless romantic, she’s read each and every single one of stas’s books at least five times, and she wants a love so deep she won’t have enough words in the english language to describe it

falls in love with just about anyone, no matter how bad they are for her, you could do something as nice as hold the door open for her, and immediately she’s falling head over heels for you, thinking about you, and planning your wedding together

wanted connections: ( there’s a lot skskksks )

familial —

half sibling - [ musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ] anastasia daphne margeurite sangster. when they grew up carrington was a bit of a brat, and they didn’t get along to well, but after spending so many years together they’ve not only become sisters, but also best friends.

romantic —

high school sweethearts - [ musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ] the boyfriend that she met and dumped at le rosey, she was in love with him, truly she was, and maybe a huge part of her always will be but she like to think that ship has long since sailed.

long distance relationship - [ musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ] an online relationship; something that actually lasted for a good while? he would’ve still been at le rosey so they’ve never met in person but something soft where they called and skyped all the time but over time things fizzled out because she got so busy with his school and work.

secret relationship - [ musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ] although carrington still isn’t out as bisexual, this was always the case, at one point she had to hide the relationship between her and the girl she loved, which is perhaps why it ended, but despite it all carrington will always love her to some degree.

toxic relationship - [ musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ] carrington probably got cheated on by this person, and dumped multiple times, but there was something about them that just made her keep coming back for more, and she did every single time. until one day, she just didn’t. Or maybe they didn’t come back, or maybe she moved on, either way they haven’t spoken since.

pr relationship - [ musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ] carrington is essentially america’s sweetheart, i mean imagine an heiress, turned singer-songwriter, and now a house favorite sitcom star, where’s the blemish in her status? that’s exactly what happened when their agents set these two up, i mean after all, how hard can faking a relationship be?

skinny love - [ musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ] carrington has an extremely bad habit of falling in love with people, the only twist is this time this person fell back, except carrington is much too afraid to admit to herself that they’ve moved their relationship past being ‘just friends’ and so she doesn’t.

unrequited crush - [ musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ] like i stated previously carrington has a really bad tendency to fall in love with those who don’t want her back, and this time is obviously no different, she’s probably never told them about her crush, and has absolutely zero intention to do so, but we all new york has a funny way of making people confess.

fwb - [ musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ] carrington is far from being known for her sexual prowess, but she is known for getting her heart broken, and that’s exactly what happens every time these two hook up. carrington tries convincing herself that it’s normal, and most of the time she’s successful, but every now and then she can’t help but wonder if they should stick to being just friends, after all she gets attached far too easily.

platonic —

squad - [ musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ] oh gosh these four have been inseparable from the moment they met, sure they fight but in the end, no matter what, they promised each other that they would stay friends until the very end.

best friend - [ musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ] after being the devil’s reincarnate throughout high school, carrington kinda pushed away the idea a best friend, she simply shrugged off the thought of finding someone who could understand herm and then suddenly she found them, her best friend, she loves them to bits and pieces, and somehow they just feel like an extension of her, nowadays carrington could never imagine going about life without them.

roommate - [ musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ] carrington has a fairly big penthouse, alright more than fairly big, and to keep herself from getting lonely she got a roommate, and about a billion animals for, although their house looks like a zoo, carrington actually loves her roommate? they’ve seen her at her highest and lowest points, and have decided to live with her dumbass through it all, they don’t even have a problem with the millions of animals living with them, honestly where would she be without them?

good influence - [ musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ] carrington is known for her impulsive decisions and irreversible actions, but with this person by her side the world seems like it’s at carrington’s fingertips. she’d probably rank them very high on the list of the best things that have ever happened to her, right next to anastasia and hot cheetohs.

bad influence - [ musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ] carrington has never been one for parties, maybe it’s the fact that she’s not old enough to drink, or that she’s a hermit half the time, but she’d much rather hang out by herself taking pictures of her pets, and going on her own little adventures around new york. but with them, her adventures seem to be hard to remember, and parties seem so much more fun.

unlikely friends - [ musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ] carrington is probably the exact opposite of this person, personality wise, fashion wise, but yet despite the odds these two are still friends, and she actually enjoys it? sometimes she wishes she was outspoken and brash as they are, that she could learn to distance herself so easily, but they constantly prove themselves to be one of the closest friends she has.

frenemies - [ musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ] one minute they’re insulting each other, the next they’re getting mani-pedis and getting brunch together. no one can quite tell if they love or hate each other most the times, not even them.

enemies - [ musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ] it’s just every little thing this person does just irritates carrington, for one reason or another, and at this point she’s given up trying to be cordial, or even pretending to be.

ex-best friend - [ musings: 01. 02. 03. 04. ] maybe they were best friends back in their le rosey days or maybe they met and immediately clicked but somehow in some way it just stopped. and carrington hates knowing that people don’t like her, plus they were really close and carrington really thought maybe she could glue their friendship back together, or that somehow if she held on tight enough then her best friend would stop slipping from her fingers, but it turns out the tighter you grip something, the easier you lose it, she definitely still misses them, and still probably accidentally texts them from time to time.

#intro #death tw #pregnancy tw #abortion tw #abuse tw #let me know if i missed anythine! because i promise i don't remember writing this #sksksks hennyways like this for plots!

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douchebagbrainwaves · 4 years ago

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STARTUPS AND TEST

You just have to do something grand or heroic about starting a startup generally. Most technologies evolve a good deal of that spirit is, fortunately, preserved in macros. Not likely. Things. Well, obviously overtly sexy applications like stealth planes or special effects software would be interesting to start viewing startup ideas this way, because now that there are a couple catches.1 Users don't know what we're going to do.2 The nature of the business means that you have to consciously force yourself to keep looking. The techniques for dealing with detail. There's no controversy about which idea is most controversial: the suggestion that variation in wealth was in itself a good thing: if your society has no variation in productivity increases with technology, then the contribution of the most admired Web 2. So I recommend being good.3

To change the interface both have to agree to change it at once. Ideally, you are getting together with a lot of I/O. More diffident founders ask Will you try our beta?4 I'm not sure why, but it seems very unlikely.5 For example, we seem to have been the most common types of fluff links are banned as off-topic. Either it's something they felt they had to make concessions. You want them to feel this way about the software they're writing for you. The defense of mosquitos, as a species, is that lawyers at some point.6 So long as you're not being paid to. I'll tell you why.7 Which puts us in a weird situation: we don't know who our heroes should be. If wealth means what people want.

When you only have a small number of early adopters. So a town that has attractions other than the university. There's no controversy about which idea is most controversial: the suggestion that variation in wealth. If you want a recipe for a startup to do this by counting the occurrences of tokens in the nonspam corpus double.8 Nothing will teach you about angel investing like experience. No web startup does. If you want to create a technology hub: rich people and nerds. Decreasing economic inequality means eliminating startups.9 There are two main kinds of badness in comments: meanness and stupidity. Ditto for investors. Someone graduating from college thinks, and is told, that he needs to get a cozy, tenured research job.

If the spammers are careful about the headers and use a fresh url, there is not a zero sum game.10 As well as avoiding bullshit one should actively seek out things that matter. It's a lot more highly of Lisp if Common Lisp had powerful string libraries and can talk to the operating system. Why work on problems few care much about and no one will pay for.11 There is a kind of shorthand: money is a way of saving you work, not something you work despite. So although there may be, in certain specific moments like your family, this month a fixed amount of wealth in the world. The variation between programmers. Which is not to save them from being disappointed when things fall through.

So governments that forbid you to accumulate wealth are in effect decreeing that you work slowly.12 And during the Renaissance, journeymen from northern Europe were often employed to do the most disgusting sort of work, like spamming, or starting a company whose only purpose is patent litigation. But they are relentlessly resourceful. There is a surprising lack of correlation between how hot a deal a startup is, economically: a way of telling you what to do if you're not a hacker, you can't start a startup by just writing some clever software, putting it on a server somewhere, and watching the money roll in—without ever having to talk to the founders of the next Google. You have to be just a model; you can refine it into the finished product.13 Airbnb is a classic example of the dangers of deciding what programmers are allowed to want.14 You have to go out of business.15 The only way a startup can have any leverage in a deal is genuinely not to need it. Could a language with Lisp's syntax, or more precisely, preorders has helped a lot. Organic growth seems to yield better technology and richer founders than the big bang method.16 Forty-two years later, Kleiner Perkins funded Google, and the study he quoted was published in 1968. So the test of mattering to hackers.17

5% of the company if he'd let us have it. It's the junk food of experience.18 A is unheard-of.19 You have to be optimistic about what you can see people doing.20 He returned to Harvard for the fall semester after starting Microsoft. If you plan to get rich, how would you do it? The cartoon strip Dilbert has a lot to say about programming languages. But people don't.

All the great hackers I know despise them. It has sometimes been said that Lisp should use first and rest instead of car and cdr often are, in successive lines. Bigger companies solve the problem by partitioning the company.21 To be attractive to hackers, and learning what they want. Why does this happen? They'll like you even better when you improve your system, even if it is harder to get from zero to twenty than from twenty to a thousand. You could make a great city anywhere, if you want to stop too, because doing deals is a pain in the ass.22 Imagine if you were in the middle of Antarctica, where there is nothing in spam-of-the-envelope calculations, this one wasn't designed for the world we now live in.23 Ditto for many other kinds of companies that don't make anything out of silicon, there always seem to be about technology. Any startup that could be described as a pie. In fact, this is the reason that high-tech startup is almost redundant. Consulting is the canonical example of work that doesn't scale.

You could have both now. I look them straight in the eye and say I'm designing a new kind of store. You don't want small in the sense that the measure of good design together, but within each individual project, one person has to be pierced too. But you can run into a Big Cheese I knew from the old days in the Yahoo cafeteria a few months later will depend more on energy and imagination than any kind of special training. If there were a word that meant the opposite of hapless, that would be enough to get the effect of such external factors on the popularity of a programming language is not the main reason Lisp isn't currently popular. You can stick instances of good design can be derived, and around which most design issues center. If you can't find an exact match for a token, treat it as if it were hard to reproduce in other countries, because you couldn't reproduce it in most of our lives when the days go by in a blur, and almost none for talking to the operating system.24 Things are different now, of course.25 When we talk to founders about good and bad investors, one of the most famous scientists seem to have made that deal, though perhaps none of them had never seen the Web before we came to tell them why they should be on it. It's just a more extreme variant where you don't just use your software, but individual hackers won't, and it's the hackers you need to figure it out. 5% of the company.26 But by no means impossible.

Notes

While environmental costs should be taken into account, they have less room to avoid companies that we wrote in verse. I know, Lisp code. This seems unlikely that religion will be a hot deal, I advised avoiding Javascript.

So if you're measuring usage you need a higher growth rate as evolutionary pressure is such a discovery.

A lot of legal business. Whereas the activation energy required to notice when it's aligned with some axe the audience already has to be limits on the basis of intelligence. The unintended consequence is that the web. Earlier he'd had in grad school you always feel you should always absolutely refuse to give up more than the don't-be startup founders is how much effort on sales.

After a bruising fight he escaped with a product of some brilliant initial idea. The lowest point occurred when marginal income tax rates were highest: 14. Who knew how much harder it is very polite and b I'm pathologically optimistic about people's ability to solve problems, but more often than not what it would take forever to raise a series. But the time it would literally take forever in the other seed firms always find is that they take away with the VC declines to participate in the US News list is meaningful is precisely my point.

Looking at the time it takes more than just reconstructing word boundaries; spammers both add xHot nPorn cSite and omit P rn letters. So whatever market you're in the case. I'm guessing the next uptick after that, in one of them is that the only one restaurant left on the firm's site, June 2004: While the space of careers does.

He couldn't even afford a monitor.

When you had in school, and only incidentally to tell VCs early on? But Goldin and Margo think market forces in the U.

They live in a large pizza and found an open booth. There are some whose definition of property. They did try to ensure none of your last funding round. In practice formal logic is not entirely a coincidence, because the publishers exert so much that they're all that value, don't even try.

If he's bad at it he'll work very hard to think about, just as Europeans finished assimilating classical science. To use this technique, you'll usually do best to err on the partner you talk to an adult. So how do you know the answer is no personnel department, and know the actual server in order to make money off their median investments. Corollary: Avoid starting a startup was a new airport.

Emmett Shear, and then a block or so you can stick even more vice versa: the process of selling things to be low. The aim of such regulations is to be free to work with the money they receive represents wealth—that economic inequality is really about poverty.

Adam Smith Wealth of Nations, v: i mentions several that tried to raise money succeeded, and it has about the other.

And for those founders. One great advantage of startups have over established companies can't compete on price, and philosophy the imprecise half.

That's probably too much to generalize.

The root of the marks of a social network for pet owners is a sufficiently identifiable style, you can make better chairs or knives, crucibles or church organs, than to call all our lies lies. If I paint someone's house, the bad VCs fail to mention a few actual winners emerge with hyperlinear certainty. You've gone from guest to servant.

But there's a continuum here. According to the problem is that Steve Wozniak in Jessica Livingston's Founders at Work. He, like speculators, that is a trailing indicator in any era if people are trying to make more money.

One father told me: Another approach would be very promising, because what they're getting, so I called to check and in a bug. But in this new world.

Any plan in 2001, but this could be overcome by changing the shape of the 70s never drew this curve.

If that were the people worth impressing already judge you more inequality. Which is why hackers give you more than clumsy efforts to manipulate them. The rest exist to this day, thirty years later. If you want to be evidence of a place to exchange views.

Perhaps this is a cause for optimism: American graduates have more money was the ads they show first. We once put up posters around Harvard saying Did you just get kicked out for here, since 95% of the false positives out of school. Comments at the mercy of circumstances: court decisions striking down state anti-dilution, which was open to newcomers because it is to raise money.

A larger set of good startups that are up-front capital intensive to founders. It would be reluctant to start with consumer electronics and to a VC who read it ever wished it longer. It's sometimes argued that we should, because outsourcing it will seem dumb in 100 years ago.

To help clarify the matter, get rid of everyone else and put our worker on a saturday, he took another year off and went to get going, and astronomy. Steven Hauser.

For example, would be to say for sure whether, e. In practice it's more like determination is proportionate to wd m-k w-d n, where you currently are. By Paleolithic standards, technology evolved at a middle ground. We see incumbents suppressing competitors via regulations or patent suits, we love big juicy lumbar disc herniations, but bickering at several hundred dollars an hour most people are immune to the minimum you need to circle back with a clear plan for the reader: rephrase that thought to please the same price as the first question is to carry a beeper?

I was a special recipient of favour, being a doctor. When investors can't make up the same way a bibilical literalist is committed to believing anything in particular took bribery to the ideal of a liberal education than past generations have.

Which helps explain why there are not written by the regular news reporters. He devoted much of the things we focus on growth instead of bookmarking.

You can retroactively describe any made-up idea as an adult. They're still deciding, which made it possible to transmute lead into gold though not economically at current energy prices, but suburbs are so intellectually dishonest in that respect. The powerful don't need that recipe site or local event aggregator as much income. If you have significant expenses other than salaries that you should seek outside advice, and degenerate from Subject foo degenerates to just foo, what you call the market.

The few people who chose the wrong side of making a good way to make peace. Which means one of them. Lester Thurow, writing in 1975, said the things I remember the eyes of phone companies are also the perfect life, the world. Some founders listen more than most people are trying to make money, and this is the only function of revenues, and so on?

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butterflyinthewell · 7 years ago

Text

A post in which I tell an ablesplainer anon where to go with a cactus and what to do with it when they get there.

The same message showed up twice and both disappeared when I hit delete. O_o Not sure what was up with Tumblr there, but whatever. I’m gonna make a post instead. I’m howling over this. It was hilarious.

Warning: this gets long and infodumpy. (I’m autistic, it’s what we do!)

I had the best anon ever. By best I mean they were an obviously non-autistic ablesplainer who tried to dictate autism at me. A non-autistic person tried to explain autism to an autistic person. Let that logic sink in.

Now laugh your ass off as hard as I am. HAHAHAHA!!!

This anon said my Groot fics are wrong because (paraphrased to the best of my ability) “I live with a very severely autistic teenager with a 1 year old mind who can’t communicate, wears diapers, screams all the time and is hell to live with! He shows no sign of self awareness or coherent thought that makes somebody a human being. Severely autistic people can’t function in society! You need to shut up and stop writing unrealistic tripe because your stupid headcanon hurts people who suffer with severe autism.”

And I just...

[Animated GIF of Groot (Guardians of the Galaxy) turning to face the viewer while laughing. Yes, anon, he is laughing at YOU.]

Can we have an Ableist Tropes(TM) somewhere? Because this anon hit almost all of the grossest ones about autism.

Anon, I’m gonna assume you’re not autistic, because everybody who describes autistic people like you did tends to be neurotypical.

First, I’ll plug my Autism Isn’t A Tragedy! series since you gave me an excuse to do so. All the autistic!Groot you could want is right here:

http://archiveofourown.org/series/275382

Now, that said...

I am autistic. I really do know what it’s like to be autistic. I live it every day of my life. I have the same difficulties as people who need a lot of daily help, they’re just distributed differently. I do not live independently and my meltdowns include self-injurious behavior. Being able to speak and dress myself does not mean I have zero struggles.

Forgive me for being a sarcastic ass here, but I guess that anon has lived with every autistic person ever and has seen how well every autistic person ever can or can’t do things in order to make such a judgment, amirite?

They must have spent the night with @lysikan, Amy Sequenzia, Carly Fleischmann, Ido Kedar and Emma Zurcher-Long. They are nonverbal / nonspeaking, need lots of daily help and use AAC. There is no such thing as no communication, only communications that are not understood. Anon’s housemate sounds like a nonverbal autistic person who needs lots of daily help and can’t make their communications understood.

(Sarcasm) Anon, you did a nice job of throwing the most vulnerable members of the autistic community under the bus. *Slow clap* Bravo, brava, brav-whatever! What an excellent representative of everything I hate in a caregiver. You could have read my fics and realized you were wrong about the autistic person in your life, but chose instead to push your ideal of autism instead of listening to an autistic person. *more slow claps* Congratulations! You totally missed the point! (/Sarcasm)

Now shut up and listen.

[Groot looking to the upper left hand of the frame. His mouth is slightly open and his expression is sad and pensive as he is processing that his friends are in danger.]

I'm gonna level with you here. If Groot was human, he would need diapers to stay clean. I’m gonna put that out there. He would be urge incontinent and release his waste the instant he felt an urge to go no matter where he was and he wouldn’t even think about going to a toilet because it’s already happening right there where he is. Yeah, oops.

Since he’s a plant, he gets rid of waste by breathing. Yay, that means no messes, right? Ehh, not quite. If you really read my fics, you would know why. But your comment sounds like you only skimmed, so let me go deeper.

Groot’s only “bathroom issue” is poop smearing, cuz he digs in the septic tank and smears to get rid of a triggering smell in his environment. (Ooh, did I mention his PTSD? Yup, two of the fics in the series, Inner Gardens and It Takes A Forest are about him being triggered as hell and flipping out.)

By the way, if Groot was human and wore clothes, he would need somebody to put the clothes on him or talk him through every little tiny step of getting dressed or else he will stand there holding a shirt and probably try to put it on as pants. Shirts have a lot of holes for body parts to go through, he’ll try them all until he figures it out. Dressing him would be faster and easier for him.

Groot can bathe somebody else no problem. He needs help to take showers himself because they’re so overwhelming that his motor planning goes kaput and he can’t coordinate the movements necessary to wash himself. It’s easier to let Rocket do that. Rocket taught everybody else how to shower Groot because there’s a routine procedure to it, and deviating from it makes Groot go into meltdowns. They go at Groot’s pace. There’s no such thing as “we gotta hurry up” when he’s getting showered.

Groot needs outside prompts to complete many tasks. He’s got no problem doing tasks that can only start and finish one way, like taking Rocket’s gun apart, cleaning it and reassembling it. One step prompts the next. Things that can go really wrong in several ways are a struggle. His brain gets stuck. Sometimes all he needs is to be talked through a task. Sometimes he needs physical assistance for part or all of it.

Groot doesn’t learn by watching, not easily anyway. He learns better if somebody moves his body through the motions of whatever he’s being taught. Moving his body tells his brain how to tell his body what to do. It’s how Quill taught him every dance move he learned to do once he got out of his little pot post-GOTG. <3

Groot can pilot a ship. You read that right. Groot can pilot a ship. Not in a dogfight, mind you, but he can fly something from point A to point B as long as somebody shows him around the controls of any ship he’s going to fly. Rocket teaches him how to fly by using hand-under-hand-- Groot places his hands over Rocket’s and follows them through all the standard procedures for a normal flight. Then Groot takes the helm and Rocket leads his hands to everything while telling him what it all does. A simulation for all the alarms and warnings helps Groot’s “omg what if I fuck up?” anxiety. Once Groot has all that, he’s fine.

[Still image of Groot flying the Milano. His hands are on the controls and he’s peering intently ahead at a green nebula reflected on the cockpit window. Inside that nebula is Knowhere.]

The way Groot processes his environment means it takes him longer than others. He has to process information from each eye, put both together and then he perceives depth. Movement is the first thing his visual systems pick up, so he can dodge something coming at him before he processes what exactly it is. It goes movement, shape, size, depth, color and details. He uses his peripheral vision first because looking straight on at something new overwhelms him. He’ll skirt his gaze around the edges of something before he looks dead on at it.

Hearing works similarly, though he doesn’t have to process each ear individually. He still has to put what he sees and hears together. This takes about a second or two. That’s slow compared to milliseconds.

Groot is nonverbal by alien standards although he talks fine by Flora Colossi standards. He’s okay with that description. He uses behavior and AAC as communication in my fics because my headcanon has it that only some of his “I am Groot”’s are understandable to Drax, Gamora and Quill-- Rocket understands almost all of them because he’s had more experience with Groot than the others.

Part of why Groot says “I am Groot” is neurological. The other part is his stiff, wooden larynx.

Rocket knows all of Groot’s behavior cues. He can spot a meltdown about to happen a mile away. (Groot gets a blank stare, and about a minute later the wrist biting and head punching starts.) He can tell when Groot is getting overstimulated by observing the tension in his body and how “cranky” he’s acting. Even though he knows, he often asks Groot “Are you getting overstimulated?” before he takes mitigation measures. Because Rocket respects Groot’s autonomy.

By the way, overstimulated Groot can’t navigate a chaotic environment safely. He almost gets himself seriously hurt in Disclosure when he takes traffic laws literally and stops in the middle of a street because the light turned and he thinks he’ll get arrested if he walks when the light says “don’t walk”.

Rocket usually gets on Groot’s shoulder and he’ll be a navigator instead, telling Groot where to walk. This lets Groot focus on actually walking somewhere so he doesn’t freeze up between “I need to walk” and “It’s too chaotic” and end up going into a meltdown. Rocket uses touch, pointing and short suggestions until Groot relaxes again. If a meltdown is inevitable, Rocket tries to get Groot somewhere less public and helps him through it. And Rocket is never embarrassed by Groot’s meltdowns, he’s more concerned with comforting Groot and keeping him safe.

Groot wants to be bodily restrained by his friends during a meltdown, and Rocket taught the other Guardians how to do that. Being restrained helps him “feel” his body and makes the meltdown less scary because being held onto is a tactile prompt to not bite himself. Even if he struggles, he prefers being restrained over beating the utter shit out of himself.

Plus, if he breaks his bark open, he risks pathogens getting sealed in when he heals and then he can get sick, and that’s about two to three days of almost constant SIB right there. He doesn’t want to have SIB, but he can’t control it once it starts. He needs help to calm down. (Contrary to what you believe, anon, autistic people are self-aware! Probably as much or moreso than NT’s.)

[Still shot of Groot staring at something out of frame. His normally brown eyes look silver due to the lighting. Possibly a nod to Riddick, a character with silver eyes played by Vin Diesel?]

Groot can’t live independently except on his home planet where all Flora Colossi have autistic neurology. Their brains are geared for that environment; it’s when they leave it that they have trouble. They’re innate carers, so they take care of each other. There were Flora Colossi more disabled than Groot who never uproot themselves from where they grow (No-Walkies), yet they were the most revered members of Flora Colossi society. They were the centers of Forests (families) and they got lovingly cared for.

I guess you completely missed that Groot’s brain and “everywhere not planet X” clash. I show it the most in Disclosure, where Groot barely makes it through the city alone (guided by a prompting program on his datapad) and can’t get back to the hotel because his datapad doesn’t have a return trip programmed in and the hotel doesn’t have a homing beacon like the Milano does.

So Groot can’t and doesn’t live independently, he lives interdependently.

Also, Groot is very well-supported by his friends. They are friends who understand his needs and work with them. They swerve into his lane instead of forcing him to swing into theirs because he’ll probably crash. He can’t help how his brain works, but his friends can adjust things so they’re less of a shock to his system and ask him what works best.

Rocket advocates for Groot, though he doesn’t pretend to know Groot more than Groot knows himself. He can admit when he’s not sure what to do. Groot’s ability to communicate understandably goes kaput when he’s in distress. If he’s flipping out, the other Guardians’ immediate goal is to soothe him, get him calm and see if he can tell them what’s wrong.

His behavior talks. His self-injurious meltdowns chill right out if he’s just overstimulated. If they keep going, something else is going on and it takes literally everybody in the ship to control Groot’s SIB until the problem gets worked out.

Groot can’t localize pain unless he sees what causes it. A cut off arm, yeah, he’s gonna know what hurts. An abscess in his cambium tissue? His entire body will throb and the SIB gets vicious. Sick Groot is not fun to be around, and he knows how hard he is to handle when he’s sick or his PTSD is triggered.

Drax was nonverbal as a child and learned to speak on his own. His input is highly valued, even though Rocket will be a snarky asshole about it sometimes. Rocket understands that Drax being autistic too means he has a better innate understanding of how Groot experiences the world around him. Even though Drax thinks purely in words and Groot’s thoughts are sensory information, they share similar sensory issues. Drax sometimes suggests things when Groot is having a SIB storm and those suggestions are always listened to. His advice helps the Guardians help Groot in It Takes A Forest.

Groot is 100% competent, but he can’t always show it. He is exactly a realistic representation of a nonverbal autistic person who needs lots of daily help and sometimes can’t make his communications understood if his communication aids aren’t present (be it Rocket or his AAC datapad).

More importantly, Groot is an autistic person with a lot of support needs who has those support needs met. Autistic people with a lot of support needs function well if they are accommodated where they are instead of expected to meet a standard beyond what their brain can cope with.

Rocket sees Groot as the best friend he has and will ever have. (I write them as a queer-platonic pair. Watch anon’s head spin!) Groot’s quirks are what make him Groot, they’re not problems to be trained away.

Rocket absolutely adores how caring Groot is-- and honestly Groot takes care of Rocket as much as Rocket takes care of Groot. Rocket has a lot of support needs himself due to mental illness (c-PTSD), chronic pain (cybernetic implants cause it) and an invisible disability (epilepsy). Rocket and Groot’s needs are like teeth in a zipper, so they support each other. It’s not one sided at all.

[Profile view of Groot looking directly into Rocket’s eyes (a rare, intimate gesture for him) as he is wiping Rocket’s tears away with a vine. They are surrounded by Groot’s greenery and Groot’s golden glowing spores hang like stars in the background. Gamora is also visible behind them, albeit blurry.]

Rocket loves Groot with all his heart, just as much as Groot loves Rocket back. And while Rocket gets frustrated with Groot sometimes (just like Groot sometimes is frustrated with Rocket), he wouldn’t change him for the world and he’ll blow the head off anybody who suggests otherwise.

Anon, you live with accommodations every day. You don’t think about them because they’re the “normal” kind. You got phones so you don’t have to run to someone’s house to tell them something. You’ve got cars, buses, airplanes and trains to get places faster. You live in a house somebody probably built years ago. Somebody built the computer or phone you’re using to send me your nasty ableist tripe. And those accommodations are acceptable.

But, in your mind, anyone who needs more than that is taking too much and “omg no fair!!!!” That seems to be the running theme of every ableist person who won’t accommodate a disabled person. They don’t want to be inconvenienced.

Disabled people CAN live great lives if their support needs are met.

And if you don’t believe me, just look at Stephen Hawking. Different disability, very similar needs. Take his computer away and he’s nonverbal, needs lots of daily help and can’t make his communications understood. He has all the support he needs to do the things he wants with his life. He is a man who revolutionized how we think about black holes and the universe.

[Stephen Hawking and his entourage meeting Queen Elizabeth.]

Ablesplainers are annoying. I hope my “autistisplanation” sinks in through their ableist skull, but I ain’t gonna hold my breath. Ablesplainer anon, please go fuck a cactus on Uranus and have a nice day. :)

#actuallyautistic #autism #Groot #autistic headcanon #anon hate #long post #tw unsanitary #tw feces #tw abuse #Anon was funny and ignorant #I feel bad for the autistic person in their household #autistic!Groot #autistic!Drax #Guardians of the Galaxy #q word #that got infodumpy fast lol #ablesplainer anon #go fuck a cactus on Uranus #and have a nice day =)

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themelaninmamifiles · 6 years ago

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Don’t Unpack Your Baggage at Your Kids’ Feet

It’s been a bit since I’ve written my own “think pieces” on MMF, but last night into today I read something so ridiculous that I was left saying “what in the Smokey Robinson is this?!” First, let me begin by saying, I’m a huge fan of Very Smart Brothas. It’s a site that got absorbed into The Root family of websites. But I always like them because they’re equal parts intriguing and shady—and I’m always here for a bit of shade. While I’m not a super fan who goes to their site daily to check out new content, if one of their article posts manages to fight the FB algorithm and win, I usually click through and read it. And if you’re not familiar with VSB or The Root, they’re both black-centric sites/platforms that looks at everything through the lens of blackness. And in the case of VSB, it’s usually taken from an angle of an enlightened black man.

Late last night I was scrolling through FB before bed (a bad habit which I don’t have any plans on changing) and saw a post from VSB written by a guy in an interracial relationship with biracial children. The title was How Raising Multiethnic Kids Reshaped My Blackness. I was intrigued because I’m also a black parent raising a multiethnic child. I wanted to see what he had to say and clicked the link. But the very first sentence was a hot ass mess, and it went downhill from there. The article basically rolls through the psyche of a man who married out to a SE Asian Indian woman and now has to grapple with the idea of raising biracial and multicultural children and how best to expose them to their culture. On its face, this would be a good article, but it wasn’t.

So I made a hot takes post on my personal FB feed, but I woke up still thinking about that ridiculous article, and decided to rebuttal...a tad savagely. As background if you aren’t familiar with MMF or its previous iteration, TM2B, I am a black woman raising a multicultural child who is half black and half Puerto Rican. So, I feel I can effectively talk about this article and everything I think it got wrong.

1. The first sentences makes being black sound like a life sentence.

My wife is not black.

Our daughters, by no choice of their own, are.

Quite frankly the entire tone of the article continued on in this fashion. But coupled with the picture he posted at the start of his two adorable daughters, it felt more like he was let down that his children didn’t come out super light and ambiguous. I’m not going to go so far as saying he fetishized light skinned children like a lot of people in general do, but he emphasized a bit too frequently how his daughters would be instantly identified as black rather than having people ask them “what are you” their whole life. So, as a result, the whole article reeked of “sigh...I guess they’ll be black then”.

There’s nothing wrong with being dark, or identifiably black or whatever culture you are. And this is the flip side of interracial/interethnic relationships that lead to children. The man’s wife is Indian, so even if she is light skinned, there’s a lot of genetic variation in India. I’ve been to the country (had a fab time!) and can tell you, I saw more people my shade and darker than super light. If you take Bollywood movies at face value for what Indians look like, you’re going to be disappointed. So, anytime two people from two largely varied gene pools hook up, you have no idea what skin color your child is going to have. The same thing happened with Tay Tay. Is she significantly lighter than me? Yes, however, she was born paler than my husband and now she’s his shade and there’s always the possibility she could still get darker.

2. This man mentions his wife’s ethnicity in a cringe worthy manner

Let me backtrack for a sec. While my wife isn’t black, she’s also very much not white. She’s Indian (see: Tandoori, not Thanksgiving), and she’s Canadian.

Sir...just no. Tandoori is not a way to describe people. It’s an oven and a way to cook food. Thanksgiving is hardly a positive thing to mention to Native Americans because, well, see history. I’m not sure if he was trying to be sarcastic or pithy here, but it fell flat and I wasn’t alone. People in the comments on the article page and on VSB’s FB post also called him out for it.

Also, let’s not pretend Canada doesn’t have an issue with minorities or even their own First Nations...that’s being intellectually dishonest. Are they more evolved on the whole than the U.S.? For sure...but I’ve heard plenty of stories from Black Canadians.

3. Black people are not a monolith

This was probably the most irritating part of this awkward article. I hate when people of other cultures try to pigeon hole us but it’s 10x worse when it’s coming from within. We’re not a monolith, we’re not the Borg. We don’t all have the same interests, thoughts, feelings and responses to things. If Joe in California stubs his toe, we don’t all suddenly feel a tingle telling us that Joe is injured. There’s no one defining way to be black. The narrator (a black man) had such a narrow and depressing view of what “blackness” was that if I wasn’t a black person and read that, I’d think being black was probably the worst thing that could happen to someone. According to him black people don’t:

Wear flip-flops

Listen to anything except hip-hop, R&B or soul/neo-soul music

Don’t play acoustic guitar (but like really? How would you come to this conclusion with all the black musicians who—wait for it—play the ACOUSTIC guitar?!)

Don’t go camping (I don’t go camping, however I’ve been hiking and in general do like outdoorsy things)

And apparently if we do the above, we might get our black card revoked. Meanwhile according to the author, all we do is play spades, watch Soul Train, fry up balogne on the weekends and speak solely in AAVE.

I haven’t seriously watched Soul Train since I was in high school. I don’t eat balogne because it’s literally scraps from meat processing plants pressed together into a mystery meat. I play a passable hand of spades but it’s not the first thing I run to at the cookout. And I DO NOT speak in “traditional” AAVE except for the occasional “guuurlll” or “chillllee”. However, I wear flip-flops religiously in the summer, and I live for K-Pop (BTS Army!).

4. I’m confused by what this man expected from “marrying out” but not marrying white.

In the article, he mentions how he married out, but his wife isn’t white she’s Indian. Okay. But his awkward explanation makes it seem like he thought that because he didn’t marry a white person, there wouldn’t be growing pains, disconnects or times where you won’t see eye to eye. What?!

Look, I’m 36 years old, and I’ve spent over a third of my life in an intercultural relationship with the same Puerto Rican man. Yes there are a lot of similarities between us and how we grew up, but there’s a lot that wasn’t the same. And culturally, we’re very different, even if we have shared pop cultural things like Hip-Hop, the Commodore 64 and Disney World. Heck, the hubs is probably closer to Hip-Hop than me because his dad was and is part of the rise of Hip-Hop and DJs as we know it in the Bronx in the ‘70s and ‘80s whereas I just consumed it in passing.

Even two black people from opposite parts of the country like the North and the South would have cultural differences. You could marry the boy down the street and still have cultural disconnects because...#3 WE’RE NOT A MONOLITH.

5. Why are you trying to force your kids to choose “your side” at the expense of your wife’s “side”?

I’m the first to admit that raising multicultural children can be challenging. But making the choice for them and treating them as only black or only Indian is a major disservice. They’re not just one thing. I get it, visually his children are black, but that doesn’t mean that you can legitimately deny their Indian side or downplay it—especially if mom is in the picture.

Right now, my daughter looks more identifiably Latina than anything else, right down to her hair. Although everyone says she has the hubs’ hair and skin and my face so... But the point is, she is Afro-latina. So, she’s going to learn about everything. And the choice of whether she more identifies with being Puerto Rican or black is one that she needs to make. My husband and I can’t force that on her. It’s her identity, not ours.

6. It’s clear you’re still grappling with blackness, don’t lay that at your kids’ feet

This was honestly the biggest takeaway I got from this article. He wasn’t sure how to define blackness for himself, and as a result, he’s trying to shape it in an odd way for his children. And maybe he really does feel like being black is the shit. But the way he caricatured blackness through the scope of this article was piss poor. Whether he’s feeling some type of way because he married out or because he feels his children are (unfairly?) labeled as black are things he needs to work out on his own time and not put those stigmas on his daughters.

Photo by Sai De Silva on Unsplash

#parenting #multicultural #multicultural children #think piece #melanin mami #the melanin mami files #blackness #black culture #black moms blog #very smart brothas #the root #black parents #black parenting

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lalka-laski · 4 years ago

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How many bank accounts do you have? I have a checking account & a savings account, but they’re kind of intertwined. So I guess 1-2? Have you ever been falsely accused of starting drama? Yeah, middle school were FUN times.... How old are you? 28 Do you attend church regularly? Nah. I don’t come from a church-going family. Have you ever found a song that describes your whole life? I personalize *everything* so I could find a way to attach myself to any song lyrics if I tried hard enough

What time did you wake up this morning? Sadly it was 6:17. Obviously, that was not by choice! What time do you plan on waking up tomorrow morning? Tomorrow’s Sunday so I get to sleep in! We leave for brunch at 11:15 which means I can sleep as last as like 10:45 if I wanted. What kind of car do you drive? I don’t drive. What kind of car would you like to have? Have you ever been to Dairy Queen? Yeah, fairly recently I had a frosted animal cracker Blizzard. It’s what dreams are made of!!! If so, what’s your favorite thing to eat from there? When I get actual food (which is rare) I get cheese curds How old did you turn on your last birthday? 28 Ever felt like falling apart? On a daily basis Have you ever been in an ambulance? Mhm Do you tend to worry a lot? Again, on a daily fucking basis. Actually, more like a minute-to-minute basis. How old were you when you lost your first tooth? I have no clue Do you remember your first time on the internet? My first time-ever, no. Which website do you email from? Yahoo for personal, Outlook for work. Do you enjoy receiving souvenirs? Oh yes! I love kitschy stuff. I hope the people in my life never shy away from buying me something out of fear that I’ll think it’s ‘tacky” because that has never been the case. Do you get angry with people easily? I get a lot more irritated with people than I let on. Do a lot of people dislike you or is it the other way around? Neither? I don’t think I’m a dislikable person and there aren’t many people I actively dislike. Have you ever had the flu? Knock on wood, I don’t think so. This year would be especially bad for me to get it because my immediate assumption would be “coronavirus!” and then I’d convince myself I was dying. What about strep throat? Many, many times. Sore throats are my most frequent ailment Have you ever been to a psychologist? Yeah, although it’s been years. I see a LCSW now (and she’s phenomenal). What’s the worst part about school? The worst parts of school as a kid/teenager were some of the social aspects. I had friends and I wasn’t necessarily bullied, but I still struggled to fit in. Or at least it felt that way, I guess. I excelled in academics though, so that was never an issue for me. Do you normally have a lot of homework, if you’re still in school? When was your last vacation? New Orleans last December Would you ever consider going on a cruise? ABSOLUTELY FUCKING NOT. You couldn’t even pay me. What did you last buy from the store? A bottle of Sprite that I thought was a normal 20 oz but turned out to be a whole damn liter. The worst part though is that I still drank *all* of it over the course of my workday. Would you say you enjoy being single or in a relationship more? I was always perfectly comfortable being single but now I could NEVER imagine my life without Glenn.

Do you try to stay busy a lot? No, but I really should be for the sake of my anxiety. Something something about idle hands or whatever... Do you lie a lot? Nah. My face is too readable and my conscience is too guilty. Do you still act childish most of the time? Not most of the time, but I certainly have my moments. Did you ever enjoy gym class? Not ever What is your biggest insecurity? Where do I begin? Have you ever painted a room alone? I painted most of my bedroom myself as a teenager, but my Dad came in and did a lot of tweaking & final touches. Speaking of which, when did you last paint your room? That was the last time I did so.... it’s been a while. What’s for dinner tonight? It’s only 8 am so I have no clue. Probably something simple since it’s a Saturday night and Glenn & I both have plans. Do you ever drink alcohol? Maybe a little too much Have you ever had a terrible hangover? Oh God, I’m notorious for my wicked hangovers! I’m trying to be more conscious about the type of drinks I choose now though. Wine is BAD NEWS. Do you ever get migraines? Thankfully, no. Although they run in my family so I feel like it’s only a matter of time before I start experiencing them Do you know how to garden? Nope. I always think it’s something I’d be interested in until I consider all the manual labor it’d require and I’m like “nah” What was the last thing you plugged into an outlet? My phone charger Do people consider you to be a funny person? Yes, and it’s one of my favorite compliments. Although I don’t know if it’s that I’m a naturally funny person, or if funny things just *happen* to me and I’m good at relaying the stories. Do you have any bad habits? Worrying, obsessing, over-thinking, over-drinking.... should I stop here or continue? Do you like children? I love them & I really think I have a gift with kids. I can’t wait to have my own someday. If not, why is this? What is your favorite snack? Chips & dip or cheese & crackers. Basically any cheap “party food” is up my alley. Do you own any gaming systems? Nope, but Glenn has a billion. How old were your parents when they had you? Mid-late 20s? Is there a big age difference between you and the person you like? He is 12 years older although it hardly feels that way. The only time our age gap becomes apparent is when one of us makes a pop culture reference that goes undetected. Like the time I said “No, this is Patrick” and he, in all seriousness, asked ‘Who’s Patrick?” Do you trashtalk people a lot? I try not to but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t ever. Sometimes it’s just too easy. What is the most amusing thing on the internet, in your opinion? Twitter is a goldmine, especially in the current political climate. Does the future excite you or scare you? It used to scare me a whole lot more but now that I have Glenn, I’m less afraid and more excited Do you try to spend a lot of time with family? Yes, although I haven’t seen them too much recently. I’ve seen Glenn’s family more than my own How often do you shower? Every 1-2 days unless I’m in a depressive slump What would you say is your favorite genre of music? Typically alternative rock with soft rock/pop rock elements Do you need to clean your bedroom? Not really. I’m good about keeping it tidy. Although I do have a popcorn bowl and a water glass sitting on my bedside table right now that I’ll have to take care of when I get home What do you plan on doing with the rest of your life? Who the hell knows!! Do you enjoy Chinese food? In very small doses, yes. When I eat Chinese food, I’m set for several months. What is your favorite movie from the nineties? Clueless! Which decade were you born in? The 90′s Are you good at giving advice to people? I don’t think so. I don’t dish out advice as much as I just allow my friends to vent. I am a great listener though! How many huge secrets do you have? Hmm... I can’t say I have many at all anymore How many people know these secrets? How many times a day do you brush your teeth? At least once but usually twice Do you ever floss? LOL I couldn’t even tell you the last time I did... Have you ever been in a long-term relationship? I am currently Is there anyone out there who makes you feel completely useless? Thankfully, no. I have good people around me. Do you like texting or calling people more? TEXTING. There are few instances where I’m ok with a phonecall. Otherwise, everything else can be done via text. What’s your favorite band? The Killers Do you have a lot of friends? Yeah Have you ever painted something and been impressed by it? I guess. I’m not artistic but I’m kind of crafty, and I’ve painted a few cute trinkets before. Would you rather go out to eat or stay in? Going out to eat is one of my favorite activities! And I’m so sad that Covid has (somewhat) robbed us of that little pleasure. When did you last babysit, if ever? It’s been months :( Yet another pleasure stolen by Covid! Do you have any younger siblings? A younger sister Have you ever thought of someone as useless? I don’t think so Have you ever considered bleaching your hair? I dye it but I have no need to bleach it as it’s already very light Do you drink vitamin water? Oh man, I haven’t even seen it in years! It was super trendy when I was a young teen though. I remember putting Vitamin Water gif/sticker things in my Myspace bio.... THAT’S how old I am! Are there any old movies you absolutely love? Of course Have you ever had a Big Mac before? Nope Do you think you attract the opposite sex at a reasonable rate? What is defined as “reasonable?” Where is your favorite place to travel? I could have fun almost anywhere. As long as there’s good food & drink! What is your goal for the next few months? I’m really hoping to get on an antidepressant of some kind and then once my mental health’s a bit more in check, there are a few other goals on my mind. Can you count to ten in another language other than your own? Polish & French Do you own a lot of shoes? Nah, I’m not a shoe girl Have you ever played on a sports team before? Soccer as a kid. It didn’t go well If you have, what was that sport and when? ^^ Have you ever filed a lawsuit on someone? Nope Do you think you’re a good singer? I’m not bad but I’m not a “good singer” quote un-quote. Would you rather wear jeans or sweatpants? Sweatpants are of course the comfier and therefore better option, but I never wear them in public. Do you think you have a good sense of style? I have a good eye for style I just never have the energy (or confidence) to wear what I want. Oh, money is a major issue too. Ha! Do you enjoy reading often? It’s my lifelong favorite hobby. Sadly I went through a mild depression during quarantine and didn’t pick up a book once. I’m making up for lost time now though. Have you ever had a deadly illness? No, thank God Ever had food-poisoning before? Not that I’m aware of Where did you last eat dinner at? Moe’s? Have you ever shot a gun before? Yep

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czyphr · 7 years ago

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Let’s try something different..

Like, live blogging. Blogging on the spot. Right now it’s August 29, 2017, 1:08AM. I’m charging my Fitbit Blaze, drinking coffee and working.. or not. There’s no queue right now which is why I can write down my thoughts. I’m a customer service representative, and all I can say is that it totally changed the way I think about cashiers, waiters, etc. If I was nice before, I’m positively angelic towards them now, specially to those who does their work right. If not, well I give them a piece of my mind. I’ve learned that it’s not just about providing what the customer wants, but how you say it as well. I’m not saying that I’m all compassionate and understanding and peaceful whatever now, but I’ve improved. I still have my privileged Catholic school girl provinciana attitude though.

I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I actually miss brewed coffee. The coffee that Papa brews back when we still lived together. If I remember correctly, it’s a mix of Arabica and Dark Roast.. I can drink that without sweetener or anything. The coffee I brew at home tastes horrendous even with sweetener and creamers so I just stopped drinking it altogether. I now get my coffee fix from either McDonald’s when I’m in school or the coffee vendo machine here at work.

1:31AM – I logged a 30-minute break to stretch my legs and get my second cup of coffee. I use this tumbler from Starbucks which hold 473 ml.. Which means 3 servings from the coffee vendo machine. Yep, I’m that addicted to caffeine. I love how it’s all foamy like a store bought latte, but that’s what happens when you boil milk and pour it with a slow steady stream. I also took the time to play my favorite mobile game of the month, Bloons TD. I used to play this when I was a kid, when y8.com was all the rage. It’s same game, but it’s better. Even my boyfriend’s hooked!

2:30AM – Now I’m planning my to-do list for later. Here’s what’s on my list right now;

8/29 File Pag Ibig Loan – ETA 3 weeks – for savings Home Film Hauls Wash Dishes Take out trash Pack clothes

I plan to stay at the office for the rest of the week so that I can make use of the gym. I miss going to gym. I miss the times when I’m able to micro manage myself.. I really really want to bring that back.

3:25AM – I just realized that my outfit consists of a hoodie, jogging pants and well worn rubber shoes. You can either say this is a super fitness or super slob. I’ve had these jogging pants from Sassa and they are so comfortable I’d wear them everyday if I can.

3:34AM – As per my MFP logs, I have now consumed 2/3 of my allocated daily calorie intake just by coffee alone. If I could just drink black coffee, that would surely go down considerably. You know what’s funny? I think something is really wrong with me. Like, inside me. I think I have an eating disorder.. I think this started when I started college. According to my grandmother, I was never a picky eater, I was always eating but I never gained any weight. Then when I got diagnosed hyperthyroidism and was treated as with hypothyroidism, a shift in me happened and I started being super self conscious. I literally shrunk before their eyes in college and checking back I look really tiny in college. I gained weight when I started going out with my current boyfriend.. and I think I can eat with no problem at all, but when I start eating I don’t know how to stop. And when I stop I don’t know how to start again. I can’t rest either when I don’t know what’s my current weight or how many calories I currently have. I’ve looked up eating disorders but I can’t place myself in any category. I think it would be best if I see someone, but I’m scared of the stigma of going to psychiatrists here in the Philippines. Like when I had my first OB visit, it’s like the doctor was expecting me to blurt out that I’m pregnant or something and she was giving me stink eye. Then when I said I was there for UTI issues, she condescendingly asked if I was doing the deed. I’m not, but but if I was, is it wrong? You can say that I never went back to her. Currently looking for non-judgmental doctors covered by my health card.

Anyway, I want to start a fitness routine soon. Exercise, food, sleep, water.. all that. I’ll keep you posted. I’m so inspired by the blogs I’ve been reading lately which is why I want to try it out for myself. I’ll start on September 1st.

4AM – I’ve been checking out possible diets and I found the Oatmeal diet. Here’s how to do it according to diet-blog.com

Phase One

Dieters eat nothing but oatmeal for the first week.

You can eat ½ cup of oatmeal for each meal, which may be combined with a ½ cup of skim milk if desired.

Only whole oatmeal is allowed, not instant oatmeal.

Instant oatmeal and granola bars should be avoided for the first seven days.

Calorie consumption for the first seven days should be between 900-1200 calories per day.

Phase Two

For the next 30 days, dieters continue having ½ cup of oatmeal three times a day in addition to their regular diet.

Instant oatmeal is now permitted.

Calories may now be increased slightly to 1000-1300 per day.

A morning snack of a ½ cup of fruit and an afternoon snack of ½ cup raw vegetables are allowed.

This is probably the friendliest diet I can manage for now, so I’ll try it and see how it goes. I’ll also go back to the gym.

Am I looking to lose weight? Not really. More like lower my body fat percentage. I don’t like being thin and flabby. Yes, I didn’t know that was possible until I saw myself in the mirror.

6AM – So my hunch was right. There is something bad that’s going to happen. I’m basically looking at a 4-day suspension which may or may not jeopardize my schooling. I can’t deny it, there’s no way that I can say I didn’t do it to myself, because I did and the records show it. I know my fault, and I know what to do to avoid that fault.

Confusing? Let’s back track.

I made the same mistake thrice. In real life, that’s okay. There’s forgiveness, and there’s unlimited options for change and improvement. In the corporate world, not so much. Everything is put on paper and forgiveness is measured by a set period of time and hierarchy. Right now I have nine months to achieve forgiveness.

I can’t help but think.. is this God’s way of telling me that I have too much on my plate and that I’m spreading myself too thin? I mean, if this pushes through, I will get suspended, and in turn cut off my TIU privileges. Which would free up time and money for me.. Which can help me achieve two major goals that I have (being debt-free and growing my blog and Youtube channel).. But my status as a working student is what I believe to be my edge among others. It’s what makes me special.

I don’t want to lose that edge. Right now that’s what’s grounding me and making feel that I’m doing something with my life instead of just being a millenial zombie who works to survive because I thought I was strong enough to cut myself off from my parents.

So why did I let it go to waste?

I started with dropping a course and then being truant altogether. Now it will be taken away from me totally.

I don’t want that to happen. I feel like I have adjusted myself and done what I can.. but I guess it isn’t enough and I didn’t try hard enough and now I’m paying the price. I have fixed my attendance, my satisfaction, my efficiency, all the other factors. I was flying high until two days ago. I feel like I’ve shot down. I was already celebrating and praising myself and thinking of how I’ll reward myself and now this. Distraught would be a light term to describe what I’m feeling right now.

I thought I was finally reaping the benefits of positive thinking for my goal of passing my metrics.. but then it’s not? I would blog about this, but I don’t have access right now so please forgive my ramblings. I just don’t know how to proceed at this point.

Although I have my Plan B’s ready.. I would much rather go with Plan A.

Plan A consists of the Law of Attraction. I will focus on not getting a suspension. Not getting my TIU privileges taken away. Not committing any similar mistake. Instead, I will focus on being debt-free with a deadline — before my 22nd birthday. I will focus on getting 5,000 blog followers and Youtube subscribers by August 2018. I will focus on getting a Baleen pay-out every month starting August 2017. I will focus on passing all my classes and being on top of the class. I will use the power of the universe to achieve my goals. If it requires that I micro manage myself, make sure that I know where I am every minute of every day and record it, I will. If it requires that I start right at this very moment, I will.

I will start with envisioning myself a year from now. Where do I see myself by August 29, 2018?

8:45AM – My shift’s almost done, and I’m packing up. I’ve been listening to various motivational speeches and I’ll full of positivity right now. I sincerely believe that I can make my goal changes in my life. That alone is enough for me right now.

This is quite a lengthy post, and I appreciate that you’ve reached this point. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments below, I’m always listening.

My mind runs better with coffee. Let's try something different.. Like, live blogging. Blogging on the spot. Right now it's August 29, 2017, 1:08AM.

#dreams #faith #future #ideas #inspiration #IRL #janessa pablo #jeopardy #life #Live Blogging #motivation #Philippines #school #thoughts #university

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markeishyafreeman-blog · 7 years ago

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1. "Love, New York" is a short comedy film starring Sydney Morton as Carmen; a struggling New York Actress who accidentally grabs the wrong cup of coffee on her way to an important audition, leaving her fighting a lot more than just nerves. Written and Directed by Dionna McMillian.” (youtube.com, 2016)

It was such a pleasure watching this short film, I was so intrigued by the title and initially thought that this short film would be about finding love in New, York. Prior to watching the film, I didn’t read the description of the film because I didn’t want to watch the film based on what was written. I wanted to look at the film with fresh eyes, without expecting something to happen. One thing that I really enjoyed about the film was how easily it flowed and how personable it was. The writer and director of the film Dionna McMillian, does an excellent job with capturing Carmen’s personality. The film does well with following Carmen and portraying her mood, her performance is very driven and vital to the film, she definitely sells it! I felt sorry for Carmen when watching the film because she was struggling and trying to make the best impression but her lactose intolerance got the best of her. I can’t imagine how that is, but I do know that when you gotta go you gotta go!

The logline in this short film would be similar to the description, it says enough without saying too much.

An actress goes out for a role in an upcoming film, but her lactose intolerance gets the best of her and instead of her controlling it, it controls her.

This is how I would describe the film in my own way.

The film is unique, I would have never thought that this film would take a turn such as this, but it adds volume to the film with its comedic transitions. The theme is witty, transparent and relatable. In the film, Carmen is so focused on making it to the audition on time that she grabs the wrong cup of coffee. She orders a large ice caramel coffee with soy milk, but instead grabs the coffee of the customer behind her, a large iced caramel coffee with extra whole milk. At first Carmen doesn’t pay attention to the coffee or hears the coffee stand employee telling her that she grabbed the wrong coffee because her mind is simply someplace else. She finally realizes that she’s been drinking whole milk all morning when the PA tells her that she chose a bold choice right before the audition and advises her on where the rest room is should she need it.

Aside from Carmen noticeably passing gas everywhere she goes, the obstacles standing in Carmen’s way of getting to the restroom truly makes the film. The first time she tries to go to the restroom the janitor is cleaning and she can’t go inside. She then has to go to the store downstairs to use their restroom because there are no other restrooms where the audition is being held. Once downstairs, the employee of the store tells Carmen that the restrooms are for customers only, she buys a bottle of digesterole and is stuck behind a lady who vomits in the restroom right before Carmen could use it. Carmen finds another restroom but all the stalls are taken, including one that is taken by another young actress practicing her lines for the same role that Carmen is going out for. She ignores Carmen’s gesture of asking for the restroom and Carmen, so desperate to use the restroom decides to use the sink! When she finally gets into a stall, the PA tells her that they’re ready for her. Still having not used the rest room, Carmen chugs the bottle of digesterole and gives the best performance she can with her lactose intolerance guiding her every step of the way… literally. Carmen lands the role and finally uses the restroom, but there is no tissue left in the stall, but at least she got the role!

I love how the film leaves the audience laughing, although we’re guessing and hoping that things end well for Carmen, it’s great to watch how Carmen deals with the pressures of being lactose intolerant and the auditioning process as well. The color scheme in the film is brilliant, it’s not too much, and it’s not too bright. New York is an array of things, colors and schemes and I love how the film makes it look like Carmen’s world without it being too busy, you get the feel of the city without it being overly done. I certainly wouldn’t take anything out or add anything to the film, Carmen’s look in the film literally looks as if she is a struggling actress, her dialogue, manners and wardrobe really sells the character.

The music in the film is really subtle, you barely notice that there’s music playing because you’re so into the story and it goes along with Carmen’s mood, whatever Carmen is feeling that’s the tone that the music will carry. The editor adds small sound effects that truly expresses the film in a new light, like the sound of Carmen’s stomach acting up and her passing gas during her audition, really makes the audience empathize with Carmen. Carmen certainly looks like a New Yorker, she’s not trying too hard or too little, her style is fairly simple and it gives off the impression of learning Carmen from the inside out without looking at her looks, this serves as a major factor within the film as well.

The genre of this short film is comedy and it’s done smartly, it’s not lingering, it gets right to the point without leaving anything substantial out of place and it holds the audience’s attention by making the comedic factor personable because we have all had upset stomach’s before. The look of the film is polished, the shots aren’t too jumpy and they follow Carmen easily. The angles of the cameras aren’t weird and the warm tones in the film really makes the film upbeat and moving.

2. After watching this film, I would employ simple techniques within my film that will truly give the film significant meaning without going over the top. Sometimes when some directors do short films they tend to try too hard because they want to employ the cinematic look but the best techniques used often within films are small ones. I have to keep in mind to stay with the script and not focus so much on the look too much when filming. I have to connect the dots from text to the screen and keep in mind what I want to accomplish visually. All other elements such as sound, editing and the production design should be added as needed.

After planning for the film in pre-production, you always keep in mind that things will change while in production. Always prepare for the unexpected and even when set designs, talent and props don’t work out always have a Plan B. The plot is the main focus of the film, and you should add what’s needed not so much of what so much is cinematic. Do what’s best to sell the story and grow from that point on without taking away from the film.

References

(2017). [Image of photograph]. Retrieved August 10, 2017, from