#although i do feel maybe im slightly too old for it?

[goatedgreen]

how do people normally find out about local cosplay meetups??? facebook??? im not using that shit.

[ohnoitstbskyen]

hello mr skyen... might i ask for opinions... for an elise thing im doing

Oh, this is interesting! I am not 100% sure what kind of opinion you're looking for - is this meant to be a skin idea or a full-scale redesign of the character? I'll give you some thoughts, with the caveat that these are off-the-dome impulsive reactions, and whatever I bring up is not meant to be prescriptive "this is wrong do it different" criticisms, they're just me bouncing ideas off of what you are presenting.

If anything I say is useful, then hooray. If it is not, or if it misses the point of what you are trying to do, please discard it without a second thought.

Bringing in some 1920s and 30s fashion energy is an interesting idea. Elise is meant to be this high society socialite who has literally been around for centuries and killing people, so there is definitely a solid idea in using an aesthetic which would be olde timey to modern eyes, but also a bit anachronistic and odd and instinctively a bit out of place in a high fantasy military state like Noxus. I think that's really interesting, and definitely more interesting than the somewhat directionless black leather lingerie her base design keeps her in.

We're playing around with gender presentation it looks like, which I think is a really solid play. Elise is generally presented as a fairly standard type busty sexy video game babe in League of Legends, with Legends of Runeterra opting to show her as a bit more spindly and flat chested. I think her general archetype definitely requires a level of sexiness, sensuality and seductiveness, she is an archetypal Black Widow character, but I don't think that means she necessarily needs to be stereotypically femme in body and presentation. Plus, the LoL universe has more than enough classic femme fatales already, anything that adds variety would be good.

I very much like the red and black fashion - she looks very credibly like an eccentric Noxian socialite, especially in the first two outfits.

I kinda feel like I'm missing something up around her collarbone and chest? A necklace? Tattoo? Cosmetic? I can see the idea of having the collar be exposed flesh for the allure of it, but I feel instinctively like it's conspicuously "empty" next to the highly made up and elaborate makeup and hair, and then the fashionable costuming.

Given that Elise is a transforming character, you could futz around a bit with her proportions? The shoes extend her legs by lengthening into points already, which is a good thing to carry over from the base design, but I think given the importance of long spindly legs to spiders, you could push it even further. think something like Bayonetta for example:

additionally, you could use something like a wrap-around collar, or a necklace, to play around with extending her neck, too, to make her even taller, and push a bit into the uncanny if you want. covering the neck up makes it easier, in my experience, to lengthen it without it looking too obviously odd.

it sort of depends on the impact you want her to have though. very tall, very slender, very long proportions are striking, and carry a vibe of the ethereal, maybe slightly mystical. height also often codes for power.

if you want her to be a more down-to-earth presence in her human form, though, especially if you want her to pretend to be harmless and/or vulnerable as part of her seduction and manipulation play, making her shorter is usually a better shortcut to achieving that vibe

hm... what else...

Well, the spider leg spikes on her arms are cool - I really like the idea of concealing them as some sort of high fashion eccentric accessory, although it's not 100% clear to me from the art here exactly how they are attached to her?

I really like the fashion design of the middle idea. I like giving her trousers and going right up to the edge of letting her have a naked upper body. It's a good way to play with the tease, I think, the allure of almost seeing what is hidden.

I'm not 100% sure about the green markings on the body. on the one hand, she DEFINITELY needs something Shadow Isles coded in her design, since that's where she draws her power from, on the other hand having it that much out in the open feels maybe a little... obvious? at least in her human form?

Of course, this again depends on the intention with the design. if you're designing this as a design to appear in League of Legends, whether as a champion update or a skin, then making her source of power obvious on her body is actually crucial, it's really important for in-game visual language. If it's for something like an appearance in Arcane, you could probably dial it back a couple of notches and make it more subtle.

Like, maybe the same idea of glowing tattoos that light up when she uses her powers, but they are subtle little spiderweb patterns on her skin that look like elaborate decoration when not in use? something like that?

anyway, that's all I can think of as a reaction just off the top of my head. this is really cool, I hope you keep working on it!

[kitybur]

𝐛𝐮𝐳𝐳𝐞𝐫 | 𝐪𝐮𝐚𝐜𝐤𝐢𝐭𝐲

⌦ in which you are a rather popular streamer, and get invited to a cut’s buzzer dating video.

— warnings: pronouns not mentioned, swearing, use of real name

| this is a draft from a while ago, idk why i was obsessed with the buzzer dating vids from cut's but here we are |

⋆｡ﾟ���︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

you were anxiously waiting in the room the producers had showed you when you first came into the building. it was a small comfy area; plush green couches and chairs with light blanket throw overs and soft pillows.

it was almost a mystery how you ended here. cut had emailed your team and asked if you were available to shoot a dating video for their channel. although it was a weird offer, you agreed nonetheless, hoping to maybe find someone out of it.

you rubbed your sweaty hands on your jeans as a woman walked into the room. she had just taken her turn but must’ve been buzzed since she came back. this worried you.

“how’d it go?” one of the other women asked. the one who had returned smiled and shook her head.

“he’s cute, but i’m not his type.” she paused, sitting down in a chair and looking over to you. “i really hope you get him, or someone in this room does.” you smiled nervously at her in thanks. just as she moved on to speak again, one of the crew members motioned you to come out.

it was now your turn. deep breath in. deep breath out.

you stood and walked out. the room was a dull white and had two chairs and a table with a button in the middle. you put a confident smile on your face as the man sitting in the chair spoke.

“hi! im alex!” his tone was rather soft, definitely not what you expected once taking in his appearance. he had shoulder length brown fluffy hair, the top of it hidden by a black beanie. his shirt baggy along with his jeans. you couldn’t deny that it was attractive.

you stuck out your hand, his instantly meeting it in a tight grip. “it’s nice to meet you, alex. i’m y/n!” you let go of his soft hand to pull out your chair and sit down.

“are you nervous?” he asked with a slight chuckle. in all honesty, he had felt the shake in your hand when he shook it, he wanted to make sure you were okay.

you let out a little laugh back. “just a little. this is all a little nerve wracking. are you?”

alex nodded, expanding his hands on the table. “a little, yeah. can i ask, how old are you?” he seemed nervous at the question, but you didn’t take it to heart. you would’ve asked the same thing eventually.

“of course! i’m twenty. how about yourself?”

“i’m twenty-one! nice that we’re around the same age.” you agreed with a soft smile. you went to ask a question when the button started to talk.

“what do you guys do for a living?” the robotic voice was loud and clear, coming from the tiny box in front of you. you both stayed silent for a moment, taking in what the button said before speaking up.

“i, uh, stream on twitch, sometimes.” you shrugged, feeling slightly embarrassed. alex looked at you with wide eyes, and you felt like you were a goner.

“no way! i stream on twitch too!” you let out a breathy laughed, shaking your head.

“damn, really? well, i’m glad we have that in common.” he stayed silent with a small smile plastered on his face. the button glowed red and you were sure he was going to press it.

“y/n is into humours people.” the button turned blue again and you felt your stomach doing flips. he didn’t press it.

“oh, really?” alex asked, eyes making contact with your own orbs. you nodded, making his face light up more. “i just happen to be the most funniest person alive.”

“i love the confidence, it’s hot.” you immediately bring your hand to your mouth as a way to shut yourself up.

“what did you say?” please, button. shut up.

alex was laughing, not at you but at the bright pink dusting your face he saw when you removed your hand. “oh, god. i’m sorry!”

“no, no, no, no! i’m flattered to know you think i’m hot. you’re not too bad yourself, mi amor.” your face was a shade darker of pink while his was light. this guy could be a flirt if he wanted.

“do you find each other attractive?”

you swallowed the lump in your throat, holding your own hand under the table. “yeah-yes. i do find him attractive.” you might’ve felt like dying right then and there.

“i too, find y/n attractive.” alex said in a sly tone. you stared at each other for a few moments before it was ruined by the room lighting up red by the button once again. you watched alex's eyes drop down to the button, then back to you. but he made no move to press it, and neither did you.

"this is the second time, and neither of you have pressed." said the button, turning blue. "do you wish to see each other outside of this video?"

you nodded, quickly, causing alex to laugh. "i would love to see him after this, if he'll have me." you gave a small wink and shy smile. alex shook his head.

"i'd love to have you, you don't even need to ask." you laughed lightly, trying to get rid of the warm feeling in your stomach and the tight knots twisting.

"go on, give each other a hug to end it off." alex stood out of his chair, slowly walking over to you and reaching a hand out. without thinking twice, you reach out and let him help you stand. you wrapped your arms around his shoulders, while his secured around your waist. he swayed you both for a moment or two before letting go, but not going too far.

"you guys are free to go now, hope you work out!" a female producer called out, clapping her hands along with a few other workers. you made your way towards the exit, slightly embarrassed and took a deep breathe as you reached outside.

"hey!" you turned around to see non other than alex, hands on his hips. "leaving so soon?" he smirked.

"not without my prize." you flirted back, stepping closer. his eyes widened and he let out a huff.

"speaking up now are we?" he let his palm rest against your jaw and he rubbed thumb rub back and forth. just when you thought he was going in for a kiss, he pulled back. "would love for your number so we can continue this."

you stared at him, mixed emotions in your eyes. lust, confusion, and even anger. sad to say, you may have desperately wanted to kiss him there.. who wouldn't have? in your haze state, you pulled out your phone and handed it to him. he punched in his number and handed your phone back to you. alex told you that he needed to leave to stream, which you understood. he pressed a kiss to your forehead and turned around.

as you watched him walk away, you thought about what would have happened if you didn't agree to do this video. but quickly put that thought behind you, because you had potentially met your future lover. you were definitely going to be stalking his stream before you had to start your own for the night.

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆

a/n: bye lol i rushed the ending i didnt know what to put LMAO. ok i hope you enjoyed.

[tan1shere]

can you PLAHESE make more Eva x fem!reader i don’t have like an idea but im thinking one of evas therapy sessions get a lil freaky

(idk this my first time asking for something lol, if you cant thats cool)

You're No Good For Me

Eva x female reader !

A/n: Oh gurl I just had the PERFECT idea for one, yes it's inspired by the song slightly 😇

Summary: you and Eva have known eachother for awhile, you go and spend your break at the place she lives, when you were in the therapy room together, things turn into something else. Something more.

Warnings: smut smut and more smut ! Scissoring guys 🤭 fingering, soft dom Eva, sub reader - and I think that's about it, enjoy !!!

Masterlist

You had to clear your mind, so this was the exact place to do that. Eva was an old friend who you had known for years, the both of you were texting one day when she suggested you come down for a long weekend to set your mind at ease. You never exactly knew what she did but you agreed nonetheless. Once you got there you head up to the door, knocking on it. And there she was. "Eva." You smile, going to hug her. "Hey you." She kindly leaves a kiss on your cheek. "Missed you." She finishes. Pulling back to place her hands on your face. "You look good." She grins. You smile again. "Too kind, but so do you my goodness!"

She lets you into the house helping you with your luggage. "I'll put them in the room you'll be sleeping in." You thank her, looking around the beautiful house. You saw some other girls wandering around. It made you think what she actually did, it was probably time you asked her. As she came back, she began to show you around. There was so much to the house, many rooms, big spaces. It was very beautiful. "I've been meaning to ask - out of curiosity." You then pipe up, making her look at you. "What do you even do? What is this place?" She smiles that intoxicating smile. Maybe you had, had a crush on her when you were younger. Is that feeling still there?

Because that just sent a shiver down your spine. "We run a female empowerment group. Just me and the girls that live here." She turns back around to continue the tour. But something felt off, was that fully the truth? Why did you get the feeling it was so much more than that. You knew Eva, and she seemed a little bit different. Especially with how she acted with the others. Although she didn't seem to do that with you. She knew how you saw her from all those years ago, she didn't want to blow anything and scare you. But if anything you were just more intrigued.

It had been a few days, you got to know some of the girls that lived there, doing little activities with them. You eventually started piecing it together on what was really happening. You were currently just drinking a tea, while sitting on a small sofa in the living room. When Eva comes in. "Join me?" Your head pops up from out of your book. "What for?" You asked. "Just come with me, ok?" You reluctantly get up, following her. "You're not gunna kill me are you?" You then say, half joking. For the first time Eva showed more emotion in her features while looking at you. "What are you on about?" You laugh a tiny bit. "Nuthinn." She still looks at you bewildered. You then reach a room, it was quite dark in there.

The only source of light was coming from the circular window on the wall. She sits down on a small pillow, encouraging you to do the same with the other that's infront of her. You slowly do. "I usually do therapy lessons but I feel like we haven't spoken much over the last few days. Gives us a chance to in here, away from everything." You nod at her statement. When a silence was being cascaded across the dimly lit room. "Are you going to tell me what this place really is?" She just looks at you. "I told you babe, female-"

"That's bullshit." You cut her off.

"Eva, just tell me." - "You aren't going to brainwash me are you?" You laugh a tiny bit. She knew how smart you were and that you caught onto what this place truly was. "I've known you since we were kids. And this is only for a weekend. Plus I don't brainwash I persuade." Your eyebrow raises. "Y/n it's me, just trust that." You take a moment, but you always trusted her, you knew she wasn't going to force you to stay with any kind of words. But she also knew you'd willingly come back to see her. Ever since you were younger there was something between the two of you. She knew that your friendship would last a long time, so she had no worries.

"I don't need to tell you then. Your smart-ass figured it out." She tilts her head forward slightly, having a tiny smirk on her face. Her head then tilts to the side as she leans forward. "You know I think about you often." She admits. "That so?" You ask intrigued, a small grin plastered on your own face. "Well I mean I'm sure the feelings mutual." She then adds, making your eyebrow raise again. "Says who?" Her smirk widens. "Well you did have a crush on me as teens." For some reason that makes your body stiffen. You never thought she actually had suspicions about it. "I don't know what-" But her face gets impossibly close.

"Don't even finish that sentence, because we both know I'm telling the truth." You were, silenced. "Still know how to zip it when told. Noted." You stare into her eyes. The perfect ocean blue. Except they had something more taunting in them now. Almost challenging. "So what if I did." You then speak. She looks down at your lips. "Yeah?" Silence. Her eyes meet your own. "Feelings mutual baby." As soon as she uttered those words you grabbed her face and kissed her, it was hasty. Feverish. Her hands move to place them on your thighs, getting you to lay back on the floor. You then pull away. "Won't someone come in-?"

Your worried expression just makes her grin. "Nah, rules are no one comes in here til I come back out. Even if they need me for something." You breathe out a relieved sigh. When her lips are back on yours in an instant. "To be honest-" You began as she kissed your neck. You always were a blabber. "I don't even know why-" your words cut short as she bit down, causing a small noise to come out of you. But nonetheless you continued. "-I liked you.. you were kind of bitchy to me- teen years." You breathe as her face comes in view with your own.

"Really huh? Bitchy?" You shrugged. "Ever think that was my way of saying, 'hey you're so fucking hot I just have to have you?'" Her eyebrows raise in question. Your face goes totally still. "That shut you up." Once again her smirk returns. Her soft lips returned to your neck, leaving a small mark. Your eyes flutter close. Was this really happening right now? "Ever since those years you've invaded my mind." Her hands move to pull the straps down on your dress, surprised you had no bra on. But she was definitely not complaining.

Her hands make contact with your tits, kneading gently. You gasp a tiny bit, still having your eyes closed. A small whimper leaves you as her lips travel down to them. She takes her sweet time, worshiping every sliver of skin around your breast. She was soft, but definitely firm with her intentions. "We-" You gulp back a moan, causing her to look up at you. "What? Dont think we should be doing this?" You nod ever so slightly, just a tad worried. She grabs your jaw getting you to open your eyes and look at her. "I promise. It's just you. And me." Her eyes stare into your own, and for some reason you just trust her by that single look.

Grabbing her face again and bringing her down to kiss you. Maybe you did still have a crush on her, maybe that feeling was still lingering. Her hands make their way down your body. Her fingers teased the thin fabric that laid under your summer dress. "Please.." You breathe, just wanting it to finally happen. "Eva please." You grew needier when she wouldn't budge. But that only causes your eyes to open again, looking to see her staring down at you. "Patience." She then says as your eyes meet. It was a warning. She was making clear that she was in control here. You whine with annoyance until you feel her hands back on your jaw.

"Uh uh, don't do that. You'll get what you want." Her fingers danced around your face delicately, moving down to your neck. "With time.." She finishes. "Being sooo good for me though." You swallowed at her tone, God she was even more mesmerizing than years ago. Her hands move under your dress, pulling your underwear off, letting out a satisfied hum. "Haven't even touched you and you're sopping." Her fingers go to touch. "Was it my words? My voice?" You're in a daze when you hear her fingers snap. Causing your attention to be back on her. "You wanna answer me pretty girl?" Your eyes meet. "Y-yes.. your voice.." Her face shone with admiration. "Your touch..." You carry on. As you soon feel her fingers sliding into you, you're gone.

Head back, arching just slightly to feel more. The worry of someone walking in fading away. "Keep going, know you can. Tell me." Her voice was like a drug. Her fingers curl inside you, feeling your gummy walls suck her in. You gasp at the feeling. "Come on, just want to hear it. Unless you want me to stop, is that it?" A fake concerned, pitty look is on her face. You swallow hard. "N-no please don't." She hums lightly. "What, else." - "Y- your eyes.. and-" Your lids screw shut as she suddenly adds another finger, making you stretch like crazy. "Fuck!" But her hand is quickly over your mouth.

"Quiet angel, not too loud." Her hand slowly moves but you grab it. "And.. your lips." You continue, grabbing her finger lazily. Sticking it in your mouth and sucking. She's impressed with all your sudden obedience. "That's better. Good, girl." Your eyes roll back as her pace quickens once again and you feel it. It gets harder for her to move before she pulls them out. You let out a whiny cry around her finger.

"I know my girl I know." She soothes. But Eva truly meant that, she wanted you to cum. But she needed it. To be against her. "You're being so incredibly good I just need to do something ok?" She pulls her finger out of your mouth as your face is tired, pouty. "Awww." She bites her lip at your face currently, it was too precious for words. "You're just so sweet."

"Just like all those years ago." She began, standing up to take the layers of clothes she was wearing. You watch intently. "Always nose deep in those books, not giving a care in the world. Style is still the same. Always made me want to rip those dresses off your beautiful body." Your head falls back as you couldn't keep it up any longer. "Eva-" You were about to say something else when you felt something warm and so soft on your cunt. Causing a moan to escape you. "And i get to fuck her raw." She breathes the words out. Your eyes open so quick.

Looking down at where you two were connected, her pussy against your own, making your mouth hang open. They fit perfectly together, your wetness making it easy for her to grind against you, the pleasure building up again for the both of you. "What if I told you I craved you." She then says, her velvety voice making you ache for her to speed up. A tiny whimper leaving you in the process. Your eyes shut again.

Focusing on the pleasure she's giving you. But she was teasing, causing you to whine. You just needed it. Her. But she needed to hear you say it, beg for her. "Please fuck me." You moan out, having your eyes closed. "What was that?" You let out an annoyed whimper. But you open your eyes to be in line with hers, they were full of adrenaline, lust. "Speak." - "Please just fuck me Eva please!" And so she does, more intensly fucking against your cunt. The feeling was everything, she felt way too good against you. "Mmm Eva." You whine out, going to grip her arms.

She leans over you, your breasts touching one another's as she grinds harder against you. Her head rests in your neck, kissing, biting sucking. "I'm so close don't stop!" You blab as if she was going to do that. She was enjoying this too much. As she ruts against you a moan of her own is let past her lips, against your neck and ringing in your ears. It was so hot you might cum from that alone. She balances on her hands still hovering above you. Face, to face.

"Cum against me, know you can." She breathes, out of breath herself, matching your ragged breathing, chest rising and falling fast. The eye contact increases every sensation you were both feeling. "Fuck, you really are an angel.. look at you.." She moans. "Eva- i-" She nods. "With me, come on baby." She says when you both shortly after cum against the other. The feeling was even better than you had anticipated. Your head falling back completely against the hardwood floor. Catching your breath and so was she. Until you make eye contact again, no words. No nothing. Just a beautiful silence.

Maybe she was brainwashing you. But at the same time she wasn't. You were just so intoxicated by her and you had to stay.

"Do you think we'll be inlove?"

"I count on it."

[generational-atrophy]

Sleepy cuddling with Ivan :3c

(HWS Russia x Reader) Sleepy Affection!

(Gender Neutral) Scenario ~ A/N WAIT THIS IS A A THOUSAND WORD.S WHOOPS. UM. IM NORMAL ABOUT RUSSIA (LYING LYING) I HAVE NOT BEEN DREAMING ABOUT THIS FOR YEARS (LYING I AM A LIAR I AM LYING)

Trigger Warning: None, just Fluff!

Meteorologists had predicted a large snowfall. While you had told Ivan that you would leave before it got too bad, that plan ended up dead in the water. Or more accurately, dead in the snow. Before you knew it, the ground nearly rose to your knees. That’s fine, right? It’s really no problem, staying with your boyfriend. That was… until the power went out… along with the heat.

He tugged on your shirt lightly, rubbing the collar between two of his fingers. In the background, the fire crackled quietly. The scent of a warm fireplace nearly drowned out your boyfriend’s faded cologne. He always smelled faintly of roses, something close to what you’d find in your grandmother’s home.

Months earlier, you recalled him mentioning that he had lived in this home for centuries. Which, to be fair you could’ve guessed. Normally it would be nothing more than an annoyance, how it creaked and groaned keeping you up at night. But now, its ancient architecture meant you two had nothing to worry about. The fireplace meant you two could make it through the night in comfort.

So there you two lay. A short distance away from the fireplace cuddled up on an old mattress he had dragged downstairs. On top of you lay layers of quilts and ratty old blankets, all of which smelled of must and people you’d never meet. 

“Крошка? Are you still awake?” His voice startled you out of your thoughts.

“Yeah…”

“Why?” He readjusted himself, sitting up and facing you.

“W-Why? This isn’t the ideal situation to sleep in, Vanya.” You replied, looking up at him in confusion. He paused for a minute, lost in thought, before reaching out and holding your shoulder tightly.

“I understand. We just have to get through one night. I am sure your hotel will have the power back by then, and you will be alright.” 

He laid back down, “Will you let me warm you?” 

A light pink rose to your cheeks, and you rolled to look away from him. Sure, you had been plenty affectionate with each other before, but nothing like this, “If you’re fine doing so… aren’t you cold too?”

“Of course. But I have been cold many times before,” Ivan responds as he presses himself against your back, “Besides, I cannot help but be slightly delighted by this arrangement.”

“You’re happy about this?” Your tone rises.

“As I said, only slightly. It reminds me of many nights I have had before.” He wraps his arms tightly around your waist, drawing you closer. You can feel his hot breath on the back of your neck, along with his eyes resting intently on you.

“I would have thought that an immortal would try to ignore any memories. Don’t they just make you sad?”

“Sometimes, yes. The world has changed very much. But I try to not let that bother me. It is all about looking on the bright side. Years ago, I could not have been seen with you. But now…” Ivan leans forward, laying his head in the crook of your neck. “We can be here… together.”

Smiling to yourself at his sudden affection, you begin tracing light patterns on his arms. Quickly, you hear him sigh, muffled by your neck.

“Be the romantic all you want, I still want our power back at least.” You joke.

“Really? I do not mind.” 

“Psh, of course, you don’t. But I’m a little used to the comforts of modern life.” He returns your playful tone with a smile.

“I enjoy this. It reminds me of nights spent with my old family. We would have to sleep like this often in the winter as well.” Although he smiles, you can hear his tone drop.

Although you had been dating for almost a year now, he rarely talked about his family. You had gathered that he had sisters… at least one… and maybe a brother at some point. There were pictures of this home, filled with people, placed everywhere throughout the home. Yet, they never seemed to be the same people. And anytime you would become curious as to why he would brush your questions off.

“Your family?”

“We never had much money. I was lucky to receive this home from the Tsar many centuries ago. It protected us well.” He lets go momentarily, just to grasp for your hand as his voice falters. 

You wiggle out of his hold, turning around to face him. His eyes soft, lost in memory, suddenly transfixed on you as you grabbed his hand. He leaned into your touch as you caressed his cheek and squeezed his hand tightly.

“It’s nice to know you have happy memories with them. Whenever you mention them usually, you seem so sad. I can’t stand to see you like that.”

Ivan closes his eyes, relaxing his tense face. “Those are not happy memories. It makes me sad to think about those why we had to huddle in those winter nights.”

“Then why did you bring it up?” Your face turns to concern as you begin running your hands through his soft, silvery hair.

“Because I am not sad right now. Regardless of how it reminds me of my old family.”

“H- Why? I know I would be upset if I were you right now.”

He opens his eyes, staring intently into your own, “Because I have done this with my old family,” he smiles lovingly, “and now I have done it with you.” 

As you look up at him in confusion, he simply draws his quilts tighter to the two of you. Grinning, he continues, “I did not think I would ever do this again. It means that even in this world I do not always recognize, I will still find my new family.”

Bringing your hand, still tightly holding onto his own, up to his face, he kisses your knuckles lightly, “You will be my new family. We are together here, like I was once with my family, and that is all that matters, любимый.”

Despite the intense emotionality of what he just declared, his face betrayed nothing but peace. “V-Vanya…” you pause, “I love you.”

“I love you too. While you sleep, I will make sure you are safe.” He put one hand behind your head, pulling you forward to kiss your forehead.

“Thank you, my love.” You say before closing your eyes, leaning back into his chest.

“Сладких снов,” he whispers, before falling asleep to the crackling fire himself. With you safe in his arms, everything felt just as he had wished it to be for centuries.

[zukkacore]

🌤️ & ☔ !!

🌤️Share your favorite piece of dialogue from your WIP.

okkk so this is cheating b/c this is actually. From an old draft of If You Want Divinity that was way darker. But I might reconstitute it for a new thing b/c I do.... like it, it just didn't fit with the tone:

“Or is this all a… What do you call it? A leap of faith?” He grabs Porter by the hair, pulling his head back so that he’s forced to look him in the eye. “Was there ever a moment you doubted my devotion?” His other hand wraps nicely around Porter’s throat, resting pretty. “Or did you always know I would choose you?” A Message. I can feel everything. All your rage, your shame, your desire, your lovely desperation. Your envy… Does that frighten you? To know you can never hide from me again? It must be some sort of miracle for him to actually intimidate Porter, but rage emboldens him. He’s kept two people under his skin so long that the company is comforting. You don’t have the guts. “You sure?” says Jace. A beat. Do it. His grip slackens.

I am gonna count Message as dialogue :')

☔Is there a fic concept you have that you'd like to just explain and share because you're not sure you'll ever write it? If so, what is it?

I have a couple that I'm not sure if I'm gonna finish or go for. A lot of these are kinda ambitious which i used to take on with gusto but i do have a problem with abandoning shit (and delayed gratification) so the idea of committing myself to a big piece is like. Maybe.... maybe.... At the same time, i am that kind of ambitious person, short things are not normally what i do. I have a few ideas that are not the most fleshed out:

I do genuinely really like the idea of doing a You've Got Mail rival academies AU but i also know that would probably take a tone of work and i'm like..... ughhhh. But i think they could do the hate to love thing. Its the Nora Ephron n Meg Ryan collab i think is the most fitting for the two of them (although if there was a when harry met sally (evil version) Take..... maybe)

Vaguely a timeloop au sounds fun. I LOOOOVE a timeloop. and have been wanting to write one for forever but i don't have a strong Vision on it right now. Don't know if its a timeloop to change what happened kind of timeloop or a timeloop to realize you can never go back kind of timeloop. There's also the Timeloop as Redemption angle that i think is fun, that's the groundhog day thing that's the happy death day thing and i think there's precedent of it being like. a Chronomancy thing. Aguefort subject these bitches to a timeloop so you can put them back on your payroll im begging you

Althought time loop purgatory also goes hand in hand with my joke that Porter and Jace should be subjected to a Bad Place Elmville as hell punishment. A vaguely inspired Good Place AU would be really funny i think. Again, it's too formless for me to know what to do with it. I don't actually think it should be that they think they're in The Good Place, i think the trick should be they're convinced ankarna gave them a second shot at life so now they life in elmville only everything is shifted slightly to the left bc its a pocket hell dimension meant to torture them. Like Chidi and Eleanor, oops they fell in love. Again. This is formless.

ALSO kinda goes hand in hand with my joke abt Ankarnatown i made a while back like Jace fetching Porter from hell??? no notes. But like. damn i gotta make it myself?? That sucks

I honestly sincerely might write some zara/clones or lucilla/clones stuff. That ones purely and indulgence. Purely just for me. I wanted to include a small zara/jace throughline or a lucilla/j2 implication in Almost but it just like. Did not have the air for that i just felt like it didn't fit for the tone it just kinda was detracting (as much as zarajace making porter jealouse wouldve been fun) and just in there for me b/c i like Persephades Orphydice

Again this is formless. All i'm gonna say is i drew a gamechanger au. and now i think the idea of Aguefort subjecting his staff to gameshows for personal enrichment is so funny. Aguefort heaven is porter hell its a very efficient system

[katthyacinth]

✨Trust Exercises!✨

Hi! This is a fic that I had on Ao3 its just a small scenario where you yes u reader pitch Charlie a great idea for a hotel bonding activity. no romance or anything just a fun scene.

“And you never make me do anything with this lousy picture box again, this face was made for radio darling” You hear Alastor say to Vaggie as you catch the ending of their conversation that you were totally not paying attention to, although what he said made you have a thought. “Wait I just realized that means have you never played a video game Alastor?” you vocalize immediately as the thought leaves your mind. He and Vaggie turn to you lying on the couch on your phone, realizing they forgot you were there. “No darling that sounds like an awful experience since games should be fun and nothing concerning this piece of junk ever is,” he says whacking the side of the old TV. You make a face and sigh “Too bad I feel like you would love some of them, I'm trying to determine whether you'd be more of an fps guy or an RPG guy but I think an fps would be too complex for you to start on…” you pause rambling to yourself. Maybe something 8-bit because those are more old school, well to my time, like oh-” you shoot up from your seat your eyes almost sparkling as a great idea pops in your brain. Vaggie makes a concerned face as you stand up and dart out of the room. “I'M GONNA GET CHARLIE OMG THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT!”

You run through the hotel and find hells Princess doing… well actually you don't really know what she does on her off time but she answers her door to you panting and rambling kinda like how she does from time to time “wait wait slow down, omg is this how I sound? Wow Im sooo sorry but start again” she says chuckling slightly. You start over “ok so I was thinking an activity everyone could do is play video games, I loved them when I was alive and I thought about it because I realized they didn't exist when a lot of our group was alive and I think thats sad and their missing out.” you quickly blurt and take a breath to then continue your ramble. “I thought it might also be good for rehabilitation because we have games where there's horror and shooters and gore so people can indulge without like actually hurting people you know! Like I could go and get beginner-level games for everyone for their interests I think it would be great!” you finally finish taking a breath. You beam at Charlie expectantly as she processes your information and you slowly see her eye sparkle too. “That… sounds… like.. A GREAT IDEA WHAT ARE WE WAITING FOR LETS GO!”

A few hours go by of you finding out how video games work in hell because as you forgot it's not one-to-one with Earth but after hours of aggressive keyboard typing noises you call everyone over. You stand in front of everyone in the lobby with Charlie as she explains what you explained to her as you antsy twiddle your thumbs as she ends with any questions. To which Alastor responds “I thought I made it clear I want nothing to do with your silly technology and TVs” he hisses “Well technically you're not going to be needing a TV and I think you’ll like the game so please everyone try for at least one hour and you can stop but I think you'll be hooked!” you state confidently “well then letssss do it! I'm exssssited!” Pentious states making you squeal. You walk over to him and hand him a phone, you had made sure to make the games easy for some of the less tech-savvy guests. “It's called Oppositions and Overlords, you tap the screen with your finger and you make your own battalion and fight other armies, you make whatever battle tactics you like!” you take a second to tap around and show him how to do it, it takes him a second and then you move to nifty. “Nifty it's called Community of Lambs and-” As you explain you realize she isn't picking up anything so you simplify “This button moves, this button stabs” She lights up snatching the controller from you as you sigh.

You proceed to show Charlie and Vaggie a game called pentagram valley that they play together and Husk a spooky card game called Engraving and Angel a dating sim called “Submit to me” which you open for him and he immediately whistles and shouts “Oh hello babes'' to which you giggle and suck in a breath to head over to Alastor at last, now this one was tricky. You needed something easy so that he wouldn't get frustrated. “Ok Alastor are you actually going to participate?” you ask meekly holding your laptop in your hands. He gives a small sigh and chuckles “Well my dear if you put all this effort in I suppose I will give it a shot then but I will not promise that your little screen will remain intact later.” you sigh, “ok then so it's called the underground fable. I loved the version of it while I was alive. It was actually revolutionary for games. There's multiple stories you can choose from. You're going to drag this to move and press here to do all the actions two buttons ok. There are two options which is save everyone or kill everyone and it's very sick and twisted when you kill everyone so I think you’ll like it ok and yeah I checked its very similar if not even creepier than what I played umm, yeah I cried anyway, have fun or not I one hour ok!” you ramble to him explaining. You really wanted to try your best to make him like this activity. Looking at his expression you couldn't really tell, well it was always hard because he never stops smiling. You stop trying to dissect his thoughts and slowly back away.

An hour passes and an alarm rings in your headphones. You begin to speak but then stop yourself as you look around and see that everyone is very much enjoying their games. Nifty is kicking her feet while lying on the floor yelling “Stab stab! Blood blood!” Pentious is mumbling something about glory and noble sacrifices or something saluting to himself in the corner. You're actually impressed when you see Vaggie and Charlie have made quite a pretty house and are raising a pact of hell goats on an impressively large farm. You then look at Alastor, inspecting him still not sure what he's thinking. You think you should probably tell him time is up or you think he might cut off your head for letting him be near modern tech for 10 seconds longer than he needed to. However, to your surprise and delight? When you walk up behind him you hear him chuckling slightly. “Alastor? Times up by the way you don't need to play anymore.” he turns to you slightly “Oh well then my dear I guess you're right look at the time a whole hour haha! How time flies!” he chuckles. “Although I would not like to admit you may have been right, seeing these little creatures explode into bits of dust is quite entertaining, and they yell at me too and plead as if they have any power over me it's quite hilarity” he chuckles darkly sending a chill down your spine. “Well, I never thought I'd see the day when The radio demon himself called modern technology entertaining! I think I have just won at life, well afterlife” you muse to yourself proudly “Haha yes dear I guess it seems so however, I think you should keep that one to yourself okay? A secret, my dear this information must not leave the hotel.” static fills the air as his eyes turn to dials, you know you should be intimidated but you chuckle.

“Ok, Alastor you got it it would be a scandal if you were caught cheating on the radio with video games oh the horror! GASP! The world would simply end” you chuckle sarcasm oozing from you. “Ha Ha funny my dear, now if you would be so kind I am keeping this device of yours to continue to slaughter these fish people” he muses chuckling darkly. A little sadistic you think but hey, you won they were all still playing. What did Charlie call it? A happy day in hell.

[sotwk]

Hi, Anon who asked about Celebrian here! Thank you for your great answer.

I just loved loved loved your HCs so much it made me sob, fr my 3-year-old sister offered me chocolate because she saw me crying (no I’m not that young we are just like elves: born one generation apart from each other).

Toddlers cuteness and generosity aside, I love that the two women have a sisterhood-type of friendship, me and my best friend are just the same, although not related at all but in Tolkien everyone is basically related to one another and we like it that way. (“Confusingly complex family tree” As you rightly said)

Also I do love your depiction of young!Legolas because he reminds me of my little sister and it’s such a joy to have her around and that is true for him too.

Not relevant to the topic discussed, the idea of Thranduil being jealous of poor Lindir is hilarious, and it absolutely MAKE SENSE. There is a reason he became a fan favorite over the years so I absolutely want to see how that will play out and maybe what his reaction to the knowledge that a prince, a Sindar of Doriath, thinks of him as competition. Hilarious but also true, i dare say.

One last thing: If I remember correctly, but feel free to correct me if I’m wrong, Maereth has/had a brother or a sister? Im not so sure of this, I think in The Crown you mention a nephew of the elvenqueen. But I didn’t see them mentioned when you posted about her genealogy. Im probably misremembering or it’s something I made up based on your HCs.

Now I stop ranting. Have a nice weekend! Byeee <3

my 3-year-old sister offered me chocolate because she saw me crying

I'm sorry for the tears, but I hope it was a cathartic cry! *hug* I'm glad the friendship between the two Elf-Queens (Celebrian is a Queen in my mind, titles be damned!) moved you so much.

Toddlers are so amazingly compassionate! My husband woke with lower back aches this morning and our 4-year-old seriously tried to give him a massage. XD You and your little sister sound very sweet!

the idea of Thranduil being jealous of poor Lindir is hilarious, and it absolutely MAKE SENSE.

I have such a soft spot for Lindir! He's just that shy, slightly awkward and nerdy guy who might get overlooked for being quiet, but he's actually a hottie who's unaware of his own sex-appeal. So yeah. Even though he and Maereth's friendship stays entirely platonic, stew on that for a while, Thranduil.

Maereth has/had a brother or a sister? Im not so sure of this, I think in The Crown you mention a nephew of the elvenqueen.

I'm gonna give you a virtual trophy for being the first one to notice this and bring it up with me! I've been dropping mentions of Maereth's nephew/the Thranduilions' cousin in multiple hc posts and fics now! Here are just a few of those sources:

The Crown

Greenleaf's Day Out, Chapter 5

Yuletide in the Elvenking's Realm, Day 5: Five Golden Rings

SotWK OC: Olondir, Master Craftsman of the Woodland Realm

Lord Olondir (oc) is the son and only child of Maereth's brother, Calinondo (oc). Although he died fighting in the War of the Last Alliance, Calinondo is a significant character in the SotWK AU because he became heir to the knowledge and craft of the great Celebrimbor, his uncle and mentor. (Remember that Maereth's grandfather is Maglor, which makes Maereth's mother and Celebrimbor first cousins--they were very close with each other.)

Calinondo passed on everything he knew to his son, so that by the Third Age, Olondir was named the Master Craftsman of the Woodland Realm. Apart from helping craft the Elvenking's famous crown, he was responsible for other creations such as the faemir/calarsil mentioned in "Greenleaf's Day Out". Most of the armour and weaponry used by Mirkwood's soldiers in the Third Age, as you see in BotFA, was also designed by him (alongside Mirion, who was a Master Bladesmith). These Noldorin craftsmen were responsible for upgrading the inferior armour and weapons that contributed to the Silvans' defeat at the War of the Last Alliance. In essence, the fact that Noldorin craftsmanship lived on in Thranduil's family helped Mirkwood survive Sauron's onslaughts.

Because I've been sharing fancasts right and left, here is my fancast for Olondir, nephew of the Elvenqueen: Jake Gyllenhaal.

Olondir is the the only Elf in the Woodland Realm who can grow a full beard in his Second Cycle. Remember whom else he descended directly from? Mahtan, the great smith of Valinor and father of Nerdanel! Olondir keeps his beard to honor that part of his heritage, which he is most proud of.

Side note: I have a creator's crush on Olondir. He's almost like a 6th Thranduilion Prince, and his character is quite sexy. He's got the Fëanorean edge to him. Although he's not super developed in my head yet, I would love to write more about him someday! XD

By the way, Maereth actually had three older brothers; her two eldest brothers were twins: Surlírë and Vëalírë, but they died in the War of Wrath alongside their father Eärondir, so sadly Maereth barely knew them. But boys and twins ran strong in their family, just as in Fëanor's.

Anywaaaaay, thank YOU for letting me ramble on this long again! XD I love you so much for geeking out about my OCs with me, Anon! I'm gonna have to write this down in a proper and more thorough post later on, but it felt really good to share this much!

[sketchdeath]

scott pilgrim thoughts

i liked it :3 it was really weird but fun

really cool writing! i liked that ramona took the lead. it was a very bold divergence from the comic and the movie um obv but im glad for it. this series was written for the established fanbase of the comics/movie. it felt like someone playing with their old ocs after a change in their life making a new au with the same characters <- nerdass sentence sorry. "a more mature and realized expansion of the story with familiar characters."

the first 5 episodes reminded me of the comics pacing-wise where the characters are just like. doing shit. lot of slow and "pointless" shots and cutaways just for comedy or atmosphere. (vs. the movie which leads each scene super deliberately into the next and everything is pretty much plot focused/"action packed") i enjoyed that the mini-series had the freedom to slow it down while still having a somewhat focused goal (finding scott) (the comics felt Very aimless plotwise IMO) and then after scott returns it picks up and becomes more action action action.

i really liked that matthew patel had a bigger role in the series. and his VA slayed. moody dramatic evil dude.

great animation! the 3d backgrounds were an interesting choice. smart for the fight scenes and not too noticeable against the other painted backgrounds (unless you were like, paying way too much attention to them like i was lmao) though sometimes the characters moving through them felt like paper cutouts moving in 3d space, it still looked nice. the fight scenes were great! although lucas lee's episode (whatever!) kind of dragged on with it.

i also liked that wallace was given a lot of on-screen time and funnies. very good handling of him as a fan favorite. episode 5 that's what boypussy does to a motherfucker. also mobile :)

ramona re-dyeing her hair every episode was cute

edgar wrong and the security guards eating cornettos in the last episode... that was cute. to me.

may divorce be with you

i def dont think that the series could be watched as a stand alone thing. it was great for what it is, and what it is is a response to the existence of the comic + the movie + the fandom + the backlash/crit of the series = this thing existing in this moment now. i don't think that the series will be timeless. (i don't think the film is the most timeless either, maybe as a time capsule of the era.) but it is fun now and that's what matters.

scott pilgrim dating a highschooler got slightly brushed over (plotwise)... which makes sense w everything else going on. im not sure how i feel about scott's apology to her. maybe that's just me i mean its always been a weird thing anyway. im glad knives chau got to be a part of the band and form a friendship with stephen stills. would have been interesting to go into why knives feels like she cant hang out with people her own age. she just existed as this sort of "young fan girl, a bit weird and overexcited"* and her anger and sadness weren't really there in the way it was for other iterations.

*maybe this was just me but because the audience is already familiar w the characters for the most part it was almost as if every character was parodying themselves to different degrees (not a negative just something i observed) really fun and self-indulgent expansion of the series that doesn't re-tread ground in my opinion.

the plumtree song :D also ANAMANAGUCHI <3

[fiberglassandflowers]

Tell the people about the letwos

alrighty! fair warning its not good in there theres some not good family behavior in there. under a read more its probably gonna be kinda long

okay so let me set the scene. its like the late 90s/early 2000s. trip just moved with his mom and sister to the suburbs around 6 ish years after their dad died. he's like 9 her sister is 5

pretty much the letwos moved to mary bell because of a funny little thing called laplace's inc. there's some stuff involved with that, but pretty much it's the heaven business and their mom deborah/debbie/deb is the worst and also the most catholic person you've ever met and you can probably fill in the blanks there.

when trip is around 13 he ends up getting really really sick with. something i dont really know what but its not good and its deadly and its not looking good for him. at the awesome age of 14 years old they're still fighting it and she thinks Hey you know what im gonna go on a walk. so he does and omg whats this whos that guy?? anyway its mortimer and it just kinda goes like

"hey youre dying right"

"......yeah?"

"ok what if i told you. that you didn't have to do that if you just shook my hand about it"

"what" "i mean i'll take your soul but thats no biggie right. i mean you'll stay alive you'll live the rest of your natural life" (<- they're like the grim reaper they can do that) "oh. yeah thats no biggie i guess"

[they shake hands]

"shit dude i forgot to tell you. if i take your soul you have to stay here in the town you hate its like this whole thing"

"WHAT."

"you can pull your hand away though i won't get mad"

"i feel like it would be too late now anyway"

"yeah lol"

its like this whole thing about 'would you rather die or live a life you hate' yk. oh also trip wasn't like totally completely hopeless either. he could have maybe lived through it [although the chances were low] and now she has to spend the rest of her life thinking about like, what if she didn't make the deal and he ended up being fine. lol.

okay flash forward its 2008 trip is 16 going on 17 [something something sound of music reference] and cotard [his sister] is 13. gonna go more in depth with this elsewhere but pretty much trip and cotard try running away from mary bell/their shitty ass mom. and like trip can't leave mary bell but technically he's never tried before and maybe if they go with someone it'll work [spoiler: it doesn't]

trip is like, kind of aware that it might not work out for him, but if it didn't she thought cotard at least could leave. and cotard doesn't either because she doesnt want to leave trip behind. there's some other stuff that i haven't mentioned but this attempt def results in some like stricter regulations around their house. they were already realllly sheltered kids [homeschooled, isolated from their peers, generally only taught what their mom wanted them to know] and this just kind of sealed the deal on all that

anyways then trip moves out like two years later and cotard's slightly bitter about that but understanding yk, like good on you for leaving but also now i have to deal with all this alone. cotard moves out as well a few years later and her and trip lose contact even more. she still lives in mary bell she just lives on the complete opposite side of town. i like to think that she gets out a fair amount though, like traveling and stuff [not for very long though since mary bell kind of does that whole moving thing]

honestly i really don't know enough as i should about cotard she's like fully fleshed out in my head but i really can't think of anything specifically about her. like i know she takes a while warming up to people, like quiet at first but gets louder as you get to know her [wow just like how the song goes from being quiet to being loud]. but i need to work on fleshing her out some more i really do

anyways. six years after trip moves out debbie dies and ohhhh haha that's so weird that she died of blood loss when the mayor is a vampire. thats so strange im sure those two things aren't related at all [they are btw vannie killed her].

annnnnd i think thats all? i feel like there's stuff im forgetting and i dont think this was as detailed as i was hoping but its at least the basics

[captainstressed]

going to try my best to formulate my thoughts regarding the finale.

genuinely thought they were going to kill of dave, i don't know how i would have felt about that. ssa papi is immortal no?

fuck rebecca and doug, creepy ass shining twin asses

rip doug. he grew on me during the episode where he joined the team for a hot minute but he was too big for his boots, his death almost felt inevitable.

willifer gracing our screens as an absolute badass duo!! their conversation at the end of the episode, i feel like its hinting at will joining the team and if that happens i will lose my mind. josh stewart is such a great actor and it would be amazing to see more of him next season and to see how he and jj get on working together.

"maybe we could lean on each other?" HELLO. my little garvez heart has been breaking throughout this season and i stand by luke deserving better than the pg this season gave us but god was this so sweet.

GOLD STAR? THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT?

is elias connected to gold star or does he just know about it and thats why the scene at the end transpired.

following on from above, the scene at the end, surely im not the only one thinking it's spencer walking through that door? him and matt have been on a 'secret assignment' all season and suddenly theres talk of this gold star and just before we fade to black theres someone. my money is on spencer. 100%.

BYE TYLER.

ok so, ive said it times a plenty that if we hadn't been baited with garvez then i would have been more open to tyler and pg, in spite of the fact that pg was mega out of order for getting with him in the first place.

am i glad tylers finally out of the picture? yes. i do also feel like we were baited just slightly with garvez towards the end of the episode but i am not holding my breath and have very little expectation for the next season because of obvious reasons.

pg kind of? took responsibility for her actions across the season and although i dont believe it should be that cut and dry for her because it really was a season of defamation of pg's character, i am hopeful that next season we will get our old garcia back.

overall, i thought it was a great episode and a great season. i had concerns from the beginning about how different it would be now that paramount+ had the reins and with the entire season consisting of one big bad instead of a case per episode. i really liked how gritty it became, no longer held back by the network on what they could show and say. im very much looking forward to season 17 and i can't wait to see y'all there!

[eyes-of-rock]

hello hello,

it is i, your secret santa. what’s up? feel like i sound like a bit of a fucking dork rn but i’m stoned so…yknow. peace n love.

to start out: i can tell by your blog that you really like kiss, which is cool! love kiss. first album i ever bought on vinyl was love gun, 25¢ at a thrift shop. class act in the early years. i see you’re a fan of the later years, though, which is cool if you’re into quote unquote “hair” metal. which i also am.

a bit about me, and then i’ll ask about you. i’m a big rock fan in general—raised on classic rock, got into metal and whatnot on my own in my teenage years, nowadays i listen to a lot of britpop, goth, alternative, grunge, whatever really. been super into 60s and 70s dark psychedelia as of late. got range, me. i collect records, and to a slightly lesser extent CDs and cassettes. i like shopping at thrift stores and antique malls, and i have a kind of weird hobby of collecting vintage kitchenware. like, today i thrifted a vintage le creuset tea kettle because i’m a fucking freak. lmao. uhhh also i skateboard and smoke hella weed. and i play guitar and a bit of bass, been on that for 7 or so years now. write a bit of music myself too. i’m a college student also although i leave a lot to be desired in the academics department. i’m majoring in arts management with a music industry concentration. (crazy, it’s almost like i have only one singular thing that i have ever in my life been interested in. lmao.) uhhh yeah i think that’s the basics. i’m kind of fucking weird but i’m an open as fuck book so feel free to ask me whatever the fuck you want idgaf i’ll answer it honestly.

now about you. tell me a bit about yourself—what makes you tick? any pets? weird hobbies? favorite beatle (mine’s john lennon)? 5 albums you can’t live without?

ok. i believe i have yapped at you enough for now. peace out.

- 🧼 (i will sign these with this cuz i use irish spring soap so it’s green and whatnot but also cuz that’s my favorite emoji like just fuckin look at it it’s so fire)

Hello! That's a cool choice of degree! I'm personally currently doing a degree in Media, arts and culture, but im actually going to change it to Marketing. I want to make money lol.

I have three cats, one who's 15, and a brother and sister who are 3 years old. Pepper, Axl (like Axl rose even though I'm not a big fan of him he just has a cool name), and Cleo. I'm also in the process of getting a fourth cat! We just haven't found the right kitten yet.

I'm a pretty boring person. I mostly listen to 80’s rock and metal, talk about it and go to uni. I don't really have a lot of hobbies lol. I don't really have time for that rn. At least Christmas break is coming up so that's good. I do a bit photography as a hobby though.

I'm going to be honest, not the biggest fan of the Beatles. They make some good music don't get me wrong and I appreciate what they did for rock and pop music, but I don't know alot about the members lol. I know the basic stuff, so I can't choose a favourite member, so maybe you can assign me one?

5 Albums I can't live without is like impossible! I listen to alot of different bands, and I love alot of music. Most of it is AOR and Hair Metal, but I do dabble in some classic metal (Judas priest, Iron Maiden, Dio etc ), and thrash as well, (Megadeth, Metallica etc ). Metallics is like my dads favourite band so I grew up listening to them. I also love Alice In Chains alot because I grew up on of them. My parents definitely laid the seeds for me liking this kind of music, I just took that love to a new level when I was on high school. My top five favourite bands are, KISS, Europe, Night Ranger, Stryper and Warrant though. What are your top five bands?

[logisticalandrewthinks-blog]

Rebirth

Feel like i gotta put an edgy title, even if I'm not feeling as edgy at this moment in time. its been a little while, a little over two years in fact, last i posted was August 7th 2022, now its August 30 2024.

I've graduated university now, and was lucky enough to have snagged a job before I finished that pays decent and has alright upward mobility. I'm wondering if I should feel happy now or if that will come later? it feels all a little too empty. Although I am not in the depths of despair that I used to always be in when I posted on here, i am feeling slightly empty on is this all life is now. I'm moving in with Hung next year, so theres that to look forward to, and also the Japan trip is finally happening, of which I have done my best to plan and organise, I realise now that if I want to do something, I should organise it, otherwise nobody will do it, since the people I tend to surround myself with are very low maintenance people who therefore aren't really planners much with the exception of like Kass I guess, who enjoys this sort of thing of being organised and planning for things. But I do have Japan to look forward to I guess, I am excited for that, but a part of me does wonder if all I will do now in life is just make money so that I can go on holiday, and then work, then go on holiday. I dont really have many aspirations to own a house or even relationship stuff much at the moment, though next year maybe ill try to date again to see if im any different to it, and if im alright to date now. Its more that in my future I see other people getting together with other people, and i feel like i should follow suit, like i should have myown person that im with too, since at a certain point of our lives i assume we wont see eachother as much since they'll be preoccupied with their significant others.

All this talk of is this all life amounts to and tangentially being related to that, the worth and happiness of a life made me go back and read an old manga that I really liked when i first read it back in the day called "I sold my life for ten thousand yen per year." which is about a guy who does just what the title says, he sells his remaining life til just three months, since he has nothing to live for but not a lot of money, so why not live a few months in luxury at least. I won't regurgitate the entire story but its worth a read again future Andrew if you're still there, thats quite touching and gets you thinking about the worth and happiness of a life.

This is probably the most mentally healthy I've ever typed into my blog, materialistically things are looking up for me, I'm gonna be making decent starting wage with benefits at a (allegedly) good company, Ill be doing hybrid so work from home some days and work in office other days. I have a group of friends online that i frequently join the voice calls daily to hang out and game if that occurs or watch things. These extend to real life too, seeing friends in real life and interacting with them. Its all going in a way, materialistically very well, and yet I can't help but feel, "is this it?". Like am I supposed to just do this for another 40 years til I retire, to then just rot away and die?

Something I did do this year which I really enjoyed was travelling, I went to morocco with oogin + HABS people which was an amazing short trip, a 8/10 experience could only be made better if we were there longer, paris with chrystal and josh 💀 was a 5/10 but mainly cause of being a third wheel of a couple that I don't think should be together, maybe I'll keep a record of their thing later if I can be bothered, and also went to the peak district to try outdoor climbing for the first time, and then to manchester recently for a wellness chec kinda thing for chrystal, since she always visited us but we never visited her but i said i wanted to, so i said fuck it ill organise it, when are you guys off and so 4 of us went up north to manchester for two days. But all this to say, I really do enjoy travelling, I finally understood why those hippie sorts of people spend their entire lives travelling, I used to think oh it must get so tiring and so boring so fast, wouldnt you want to just sit down and chill? but you can! you can sit down and chill underneath a blanket of stars, or sit by a warm fire, and just look out into the distant deserts of morocco. I really enjoy travelling and I hope to do a lot more this next year.

Something else i took up in the last two years is bouldering, its a hobby that i genuinely enjoy, I've been climbing for two years, on and off, (maybe like 6 months total where i didnt climb so technically one and a half years) but its what inspired me to then go outdoor bouldering with puru armaan and yossi which was a fun trip, though it was humbling how difficult it is! currently I can climb v4-v5 indoors but i could barely only climb V0+ outdoors, which is like beginner grading, which is pathetic 😭 hopefully next time will be better.

I'm not really here to say much else, If i think of something Ill post again soon, but its 8 am and ive stayed up all night to watch LE SSERAFIM's comeback "CRAZY" which is really fucking good. Thats another thing I've done in the last two years, is gone back to my kpop roots cept this time i have the disposable income to irresponsibly spend money on merch and albums for LE SSERAFIM. the music and obsession as a hobby has really helped though, it gets me through the hard times seeing the behind the scenes and watching the live streams and hearing them talk about their lives. Bias is Miyawaki Sakura since I already kinda was biased for her in IZONE when she streamed gaming content on youtube and made videos for gaming.

I would say to end this post that LE SSERAFIM and Bouldering funnily enough have saved me, in the last two years. Two years ago i was hurt fairly badly by people who i thought i was close to, though perhaps i never was since its an online friendship, how close can a online friendship be? obviously an online friendship can be very close, but it depends alot, and it seems perhaps this was not one of those times. I dont recall if i ever actually outlined what happened from my point of view as a record, so maybe ill do that. haha i always say ill write these things and never get round to doing it. it does help somewhat though, clear my thoughts by writing in this blog, so i really should do it more often, maybe now im more mentally well ill do it???? who knows. we shall see in the next one.

I shall leave with le sserafims latest song that got released 4 hours ago, which is the cuntiest thing i have heard in a while, and will defo be a bop to remember, and so future andrew!! relearn your roots!!! go back to listening to le sserafim and rest up!!!

[lilyy43]

midnight thoughts ☾

hey guys!! so this is my first drabble im publishing here, i hope u like it and tell me what u think and what would u like to read next!

have a lovely day \(˵ˆ ³ˆ˵)/

:･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.::･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.::･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.::･ﾟ✧:･.☽˚｡･ﾟ✧:･.:

i closed the door to my house as quietly as possible, trying to not wake anyone up. then i walk down the same familiar path i choose to go through almost every night.

right, forward, old house, miss Green, mister Smith, playground, preschool, blue house, and finally, the small lake that opens the park.

i walk into the park, looking down at my dirty converse shoes. they've seen it all, i think. i see my favourite bench under the big tree that's making an umbrella with it's large branches covered with leaves. i sit down and bring my feet up to the bench, pulling ma legs into my chest and hugging my knees. 

as i am drifting away as always, looking at the dark lake glistening slightly from the moonlight, i hear footsteps. i look that way and i see a dark human posture coming my way. my heart skips a beat and i instinctivly get nervous. i have never encountered anyone during my night trips, so this seems dangerous. i'm alone in an empty park, a girl, with nothing with me besides the keys to my house. congratufuckinglations.

but it's too late to do anything right now, the person is already a few steps away from me. if i'm about to die right now, i will die. 

the mysterious man sits on the other end of the bench. as i look closer, i can see that it's a boy. he looks in fact young, maybe even my age. that calms my nerves a little bit. he doesn't say anything, just looks at the water in a similar way to me.

i'd gladly come back to watching the lake but i can't take my eyes off of him. he's mesmerizing. he's wearing baggy black cargo pants and a big black hoodie, with the hood thrown over his head. when i bring my eyes down, i see him wearing the same converse shoes as me, also looking like they've been through a lot. i can see the side of his face, his sharp jawline, smooth skin glistening in the moonlight, perfect nose and those shimmering dark eyes. he seems relaxed, like he doesn't care. even a tiniest little smile hanging on his lips.

he must have felt my gaze on him, beacuse he turned his head towards me. he doesn't say anything. then he reaches his hand out, as if he's offering me to take it. at first i think he's mad, what is he thinking? that he can just come up to a girl in the middle of the night and ask her to take his hand? 

but all my curses towards him disappear, when i take his hand. he pulls me gently closer to him, so that we're sitting side to side, knees touching. i feel weirdly at peace. all the anxiety that i came here with going away when i rest my head on his shoulder. 

i start staring at the lake again, this time more calmly, not so aggressively. he stares at the water too, i think. and we stay like that, until i push myself closer to him and wrap my hands around him and i feel him embrace me back. i hear every noise going down, feeling completely relaxed, my body letting loose as i melt into him. i feel myself falling fast asleep.

the next thing i remember is waking up on the bench, although not exactly the same as i fell asleep. im sitting on it, just leaning on the side of the metal arm. it's already day, something about noon, the sun is at it's highest and it's hurting my eyes. it's really warm and i hear kids laughing and people talking. everyone is acting normal, doing some daily activities. some people walk past me with their dogs, other with bags from the grocery store. some sit on the grass and talk or read books. other dogs are swimming in the lake chasing the ducks. and i just sit there, watching the water again, now glistening from the sunlight.

and then it hits me. the boy. where is he?

i look further across the lake, there is a bench, exactly the same as mine, just on the other side, like a mirror reflection.

but it's covered in shadow, when mine is shining in the sun.

[cravingimpossible]

Whirlwind

It was a whirlwind as you re-entered my life. I, being too spontaneous for my own good, had bought non-refundable tickets to Zürich to meet the Swiss man I had met in New York. I fell in love with a piece of him that was a part of your puzzle. Maybe the fingers outlining my face or the deep brown eyes and unkempt raven hair, allowed me to find solace within you, within him. For you both admired me the same. For your similarities were the only things i admired about him. He is kind. He is safe. He never hurt me like you did. Intentional or not, it stung. 

Radio silence from you for months. You didn't even wish me a Happy Birthday. I booked those non-refundable tickets to see a swiss man to let you go. My mothers credit card maxed out and payment plans for a life I cannot have. You message me two days after they were booked. Fight or Flight? The man I love come back after so long. You hold me so close and carefully. You feel like home. How can I get on that flight to see a man I don’t want. I want you. It was always you. But then again, how can I break a heart of a man who is willing to fly halfway across the world to see me? A man who has been nothing but kind and lovely. A man who I have unfairly promised the world to. How can I do that to be with you. You made me an option once. How do I know you won’t again?

I say all of this. My non-refundable flights are booked. I need to get on that flight. I can't confuse him. I need to see it through. But I need you more. Or maybe I need Switzerland. Maybe I need a lobotomy. Fuck. I can’t make up my mind. Im in a lose lose situation. Why come back now? I missed you hug me tightly. Kiss me gently like you do. Play the music from the 50s and tell me about your favourite films. I gaze into your eyes and see a white picket fence. I see a golden retriever named Ziggy. I see bookshelves, antique furniture and drinking tea in our sunroom when we are old and grey. I made up my mind, I need you. But i fear you’re going to leave. I fear I’ll have to break his heart worse than the way you broke mine. Although your bandaids on my wound are there, they are peeling ever so slightly.

I can’t afford Europe. I’m the stupidest person alive. But i can’t refund my ticket. Homelessness for 6 weeks? Even the cheapest accommodation is too expensive. The only way is to stay with him. I want to. He is so lovely. He is so kind. He adores me the way I adore you.He is art and the Met Museum. Dinosaurs and children climbing trees. He is sleepy mornings and sunshine breaking through the windows. He is Not you. But you are not him either. This is the worst decision I have ever had to make. Somehow death is a sane option. but i couldn't how stupid of me.

\

[purplepink-blueberry]

actually im gonna add to this a story about the tablet keyboard bc it is slightly more interesting than “i bought a tablet and then i bought a keyboard”

so, characters in this story would be:

me (a chaotic disorganised uni students with (at that time) pink hair but for some reason everyone knew i loved purple)

my professor (a chaotic disorganised uni professor with possible adhd and misophonia)

my thesis advisor (a background character, really, but i like her and she was a witness to this; gender studies expert thanks to whom i know stuff about gender)

my best friend (also a background character but has witnessed this; fellow gender stuff enthusiast)

context for this story: early april this year, lovely spring weather. my friend and i are in our second year of uni (out of three, if the gods (those who grade our bachelor theses) are merciful) and we have similar areas of study for our bachelor theses. because of that, my friend (who, unlike me, is organised af) organises a meeting between the professor, thesis advisor, him, and me.

this meeting is set to happen at around 10 am. perfect time for meetings, i’d say. we don’t have classes that week, so i wouldn’t have to get up super early to get there.

however, i had work in the morning. teaching english, from 8 until 9:50 (two separate lessons. i love the groups, btw, amazing students). and the time for the meeting was set up too late for me to change the schedule.

so i tell my friend that i’ll be late because i work, he relays the message to our meeting companions and all is well.

i finish teaching, sprint down the flight of stairs out of the building, sprint to the tram stop and then my friend lets me know they went to a café my school essentially adopted. it’s closer to the tram stop so less running for me!

i still run, and i am only like 15 minutes late. i find the group sitting at a table with one extra chair that is also somehow not occupied by my professor’s dog (he always sits on a chair next to her - although, maybe not in a café). i say hi, everyone is super glad i joined.

my professor looks at me and takes out a cardboard box from her bag. she says “oh it even matches the colour!”

what matches what colour? i wonder, but i dont say anything

she hands me the box. i look at it. it’s a case for a tablet (my specific model) and it also includes a keyboard.

the professor explains. “you see, i have misophonia, i really really can’t stand the way your normal keyboard sounds* so i got you a new keyboard with a case and the keyboard is supposed to be super quiet and it even matches your t shirt!”

(i was wearing this light pastel purple t shirt and the case does indeed match it)

we talk about our theses and what to do and stuff and before we leave the professor asks me to try the keyboard out.

i do, i put my tablet in the new case and connect the keyboard to my tablet. it works and apparently sounds softer (i think they sound the same but my professor is happy)

i ask what do i owe her bc she spent her hard earned money on this.

she says it’s a gift for herself bc she couldn’t bear the sounds of my old keyboard but it’s also not my responsibility to accommodate her issues. i don’t argue bc i see her point kind of.

mind you, this is the first time she told me my keyboard is a problem. i mean she probably hinted at it before but i can’t read between the lines well enough.

so, we all go our separate ways. i go catch a train because i have an event in a different city to attend. my bag is now full of an extra tablet case and keyboard. i do some work on the train, feeling extra professional because i am working, using a fancy looking keyboard, on a train - that’s a moodboard, literally.

i try to charge the keyboard, it’s not working well but i’m on a train, i decide that is an at home problem. i can’t charge it at home either. everything is up to standard, how it should work, i try different cables and outlets and voltages and still, nothing.

so i keep using my old keyboard except for the classes with the professor who has misophonia. generally, i tried to use the new keyboard connected to a charger but that became impossible as it ran out of battery.

then i started taking my massive laptop to her classes instead

well, it’s summer. i don’t like using the old keyboard because it doesn’t work properly anymore. the new keyboard i can’t charge. i am also not able to just change the battery or charging thing or whatever is the issue between the keyboards.

so i am trying to find a new keyboard for my tablet so i can just take my tablet to class.

and i mean, i could suffer through one more year of awful keyboard. but now we are gonna have a class with the prof with misophonia (we originally weren’t supposed to). so i have to solve this.

and so i went to an electronics store like one does. i even asked them. but apparently they dont have it in that specific store.

but i was brave for asking them and so i got bubble tea and sat down to look at potentially buyable keyboards online.

except that i just finished my bubble tea and i was writing this post the entire time. on my phone. because even though i have my tablet here (to work on), i forgot the barely functioning keyboard at home

*i was told by one other person that the sounds were horrible. i got the keyboard from aliexpress with a case and at that point i had been using those for 3,5 years, the keyboard was also less and less sensitive and the case began to tear

getting reward (bubble tea) for doing a very scary thing (asking the staff in an electronics store if they have keyboards for tablets) like the adult i am (23 year old teenager)