#although I did suck on coins.

[rebloggingrexan]

#the plants at my old elementary hit different bruh /lh

INGESTED not just chewed on to clarify lol. based on real responses from my groupchat

[amarmoria]

Nepenthe

꩜.ᐟ Qimir x Padawan! Reader

Why would your master want a padawan like you when he has his acolyte?

Notes: I've seen fics abt padawan reader and none can quench my thirst eugh😫pls note i have nooo idea what goes on in the star wars universe please don't come for me😣

"Hand me that one, fast" He gestured to the purple fruit just beside you, not daring to glance at you. "Yes, sir"

You curiously peeked over your master as you handed the fruit, what was so important it had him rushing like this?

"It's for Mae," he says, the squelching fruit making you frown, you forget he reads minds as easily as breathing. Your frown deepens as you remember. Mae. His acolyte, he took you in a few months before Mae came, that first few months felt like heaven, it was just you and him, in this unknown planet, training, practicing.

Yet, after Mae came, it almost felt like you were some kind of servant for the both of them, he trained with her day and night, leaving you to fend for yourself, he told you it's because you've already been trained by him, that you don't need to anymore, you didn't mind, you got along with Mae... on your perspective that is.

Mae was a fast learner, you were proud of her, now you have someone to share your training with, converse like a normal person, but later you realized that him and her were two sides of the same coin, quiet, mute, they don't like conversations, although you made an effort to be friends with Mae, than you ever did with your master since she was the lesser evil, you're quite proud of yourself when your conversations with her turned from smalls nods and no's to simple phrases.

You didn't care that your master had two Padawans under his belt, that is until he taught her some things he never even told you about, every now and then he would drop hints about what he would teach you next, to prepare you, but this one was unknown to you, you thought, maybe, maybe he forgot to tell you since he was so engrossed in trying to make Mae catch up to you, but Mae didn't just catch up to you, she had already passed way above you, while your stuck on the pedestal she was weeks ago.

"Something on your mind, little bee?" That nickname, he never once gave an explanation on why he calls you that. "No, uh, nothing.. master"

You focus on his muscles grinding the stone bowl.

"I don't think that's nothing"

"I'm fine, really." You bite the inside of your cheeks. "Hm"

You blink, fiddling with the hem of your robes, you let a few seconds pass before speaking up.

"Why.. why does Mae need it?" He halted his movements, and right then and there you almost regretted asking, almost. "She's having nightmares"

He resumed his cooking, although his brief answer didn't provide you with anything, so what? You were having nightmares once too, and he told you to suck it up.

And as if he read your mind, which he did. "I don't want it to hinder her performance, we don't want any distractions during this time of her training."

What about my training? You wanted to yell at him, what about me? Why can't you make me one of your anti-nightmare potions too?

You could only clench your fists, making sure he doesn't hear some of your thoughts, which is hard considering he didn't teach you to, only Mae, along with healing your body by using the force, all her, and your left in the dust.

Your master said using negative emotions is the best fuel for people like them. Them. He told you, him and Mae obvi, you're nowhere near the equation, like an addition symbol in a multiplication question, makes no sense right? Because you make no sense being there when he clearly prioritizes Mae.

"—are you still listening?"

"I, huh," your eyes flutter up to him, frowning when he says nothing but look at you. A few seconds pass with only the both of you staring each other down, I mean, him staring you down with his creepy mask, he suddenly lets go of the pestle, the tool colliding with the mortar loudly.

He was now towering over you, and you realize then how big he was compared to you, it's like a dwarf next to a willow tree. (Guys no matter how big you think you are, Qimir is always bigger✋)

"I can't hear you, but I feel you" oh fuck, you forgot about that. "What is this plaguing your mind?"

Before you could answer, Mae comes running.

"You're back" He focuses on her, you let out a deep breath, for once your relieved Mae came in just a nick of time. "The ship's ready, master"

"Good, let's go" he grabs his robe from behind you. "Finish the potion before we come back"

"Whe, where are you guys going?"

"Nothing of importance, now go." He gestures to the stone bowl, his menacing helmet buzzing in your ears. "Yes, master.."

"Good girl." you couldn't hear his last few mumbles, only registering everything when they left the cave, leaving you alone.

-

You decided that you're gonna make an anti-nightmare potion for yourself too, because why does only Mae get it when you can make one in case you get nightmares?

And the best place to buy ingredients was with the best apothecary in town.

"Qimir?" You knock on the door. "I need to buy things for him, are you there?"

No answer.

"Hellooo?"

You pouted and turned around, now everyone's busy when you're not, you wanted to wait for a few more seconds but people might think you're crazy for trying to buy from an abandoned pharmacy, your master told you Qimir was there anytime you needed something to use for missions, but now that you don't go to missions, you love to annoy the clumsy pharmacy owner.

"Hey, wait!"

You tried to stop the smile creeping to your face when you hear the door bust open.

"I'm here!" He yelled, you turned around and waved, a big smile covering your face. "What took you so long?"

"What do you mean?" He playfully shrugged. "Been here since forever"

You felt more comfortable with him, you don't have to have to tiptoe around him unlike with the other, you liked to tease him about not taking a bath and for looking like a ragged hobo.

"What are you doing here though?" His eyebrows furrowed as you skip to him, you gave him a warm smile once again before making your way inside. "I need some things for him."

He frowned.

"Things? He didn't tell me he needed anything when they passed here."

"Well he told me, so go fetch it for me, servant" you chuckle and hit him on the bicep, he fakes a cry before hesitating to open the shelves.

"Here's the list of his majesty needs"

"His majesty?" He laughs, you just love making him laugh, maybe it's just you, or maybe you're just alone, but if there's anyone in the world you're going to survive an apocalypse with, it's Qimir.

"Uh huh, he keeps barking orders, finish this, finish that before we get home nyeh nyeh nyeh"

He chuckles once again. "Are you sure about telling me that? I might just snitch and get a promotion."

You feign an insulted look. "You don't dare"

"Oh but I do"

You both sat there laughing, forgetting about what you were here for. You clutch your tummy and struggle to inhale air.

"I can't— stop—" you burst out laughing once again, your face heating up, the tears in your eyes now brimming full.

"No no don't die on me" He jokes, you can see him staring, you wanted to look at him like that, shameless, but you can't stand looking at him for more than 3 seconds without blushing.

"Really?" He mumbles, but you heard him, clear as day. "What?"

"I, I mean, really h-huh? You can't stop laughing?" He waved both his hands in the air.

"You weirdo"

"Oh so now I'm the weirdo?"

"Uh huh"

"Since when?!"

"Since we met"

"Says the person who keeps barging in my shop"

"You like it though right?" You look up at him expectantly. "Like w-what?"

You gesture with your hands. "This?"

"This what?"

"You're always alone here, you must be grateful that I always visit."

"Yeah, always"

"What does that mean!" You put your hands on your waist. "It means you're always here, so you're like an everyday occurance by now"

You roll your eyes as he finishes up the list.

"Here's the last one—" you frown as he pauses. "What?"

"Isn't this," he picks up the list again. "It's for.."

You gulp, your fingers fumble with the wooden seat.

"N-no, no, it's not" you avert your eyes from him, the floor looking a little more interesting today.

"It's for nightmares isn't it?"

"I don't know, he only gave the list, nothing else."

"It is for nightmares, why do you need these?"

"I don't know, it's not for me." You clench your fists. "If it was for him he'd tell me himself"

Your eyes try to find something, anything, to tell him.

"I think it's for Mae okay? Maybe, maybe she's having nightmares and, and maybe he doesn't want it to distract her.."

"But I al—" he pauses, his jaw flexing. "I already gave him these."

His eyes narrow on you, like a deer in the headlights you could only look away.

"Tell me?" His soft voice lures you to him. "Are you having them?"

"No.." you sigh, do you tell him you're making the potion out of spite for your master? For making one for Mae and not for you, ugh it all sounds childish now, before you left you had a plan, and now you look like a child caught.

"Just—" you let out a deep breath. "Give it, and I'll be on my way"

He stares at you for a moment, before placing everything in a small pouch. You thanked him and left the credits on the table before hurriedly leaving, you could still feel his stare at the back of your head.

[lottienathive]

right off the bat, nat and lottie are introduced as complete opposites - lottie is rich, sweet, soft-spoken, etc. and nat is poor, extremely brash, and bold. even wearing a skirt and jacket, but in completely different ways. this is an easily understood set-up for their first time in the wilderness. the very first dilemma of the show—the allie situation—is also very representative of this. lottie is unsure on how to approach the situation and doesn’t assert herself (“she kinda sucks, but… i don’t know.”) whereas nat makes her opinion very clear (“that’s because it’s bullshit” / “you know what? fuck this.”) after the crash., nat throws herself onto travis almost immediately following the loss of his father. she immediately sticks up for him when lottie makes a jab (“who died and made him king of snacks?” “his dad, lottie, literally his fucking dad.”) this is already showing us that nat is considered with the individual feelings of people around her, whereas lottie is more focused on the hive mind and likelihood of the group as a whole.

further into their time in the wilderness, both of the girls establish themselves as providers. nat becomes a hunter, providing food and protection since she’s the one who earns the privilege of having the only weapon. on the other hand, lottie is slowly made into a group leader because of the spiritual comfort she provides the girls with. in a desperate time of need, both of them are ready to provide and protect the group, but in completely opposing ways. they aren’t so different, really just two sides of the same selfless, caring coin. this complex rivalry makes much more sense when you look at their childhood individually. we see in season 1 that nat grew up in terrible circumstances, with an abusive alcoholic father and a dismissive mother, she is responsible for making her own way. her father’s death is symbolic of this; although she didn't kill him directly, it was her fault he died. because of this upbringing, nat has heavy walls built around her. she sees the world for what it's been to her: cruel. however, despite this cold shell that her parents caused her to develop, she's incredibly caring all the less. this is especially represented through her relationship with travis. lottie, while she grew up rich, clearly didn't have very loving parents. the first scene we see of her at home is before the crash, and while most of the other characters are being goodbye-hugged by family members, lottie is receiving a bottle of her medication from her maid. at the beginning of season 2, we see that lottie has had some sort of psychic abilities, able to predict a car crash before it happens. instead of taking time to understand her, her parents throw her into therapy and pump her up with medication following the rescue, lottie's parents take no time to process that their daughter has been heavily traumatized, and immediately send her away to a whole different country. the dismissiveness of lottie's parents, similar to nats, affected her in a completely opposite way. instead of building up walls and becoming cold, lottie seeks to use her abilities to give comfort to everyone else around her. while dealing wth similar core traumas, they react to it in very different ways.

despite this, lottie (especially adult timeline) stays prominent as the only person who can comfort nat. after years following the crash of replacing her pain with drugs, sex, etc. it took one week at lottie's camp for her to want to start healing. lottie did that for her. the regression scene shows that no matter how old she is, lottie is still the only person who can bring out the parts of herself that she tries to bury, in both positive and negative ways. the season 2 finale is where everything about their relationship shifts. i don't think enough people process that "the wilderness" is really just, obviously not completely, but in simple terms a manifestation of lottie's inner nature. when you listen to it, it gives you what you want. when lottie decides that nat should be the leader by saying "the wilderness already chose who should lead us," what she's really saying, unconsciously and metaphorically, is that she has noticed nat's resilience and determination to lead as a reflection of her own determination to lead. now...we talk about nat's death scene. happening parallel to the scene where she's crowned leader adult nat is accidently killed during a hunt put together by lottie to give the wilderness its final sacrifice, an exercise intended to help them let go. in her final moments between life and death, nat finds herself in that plane again. in her very final moments of life, what is nats last sight?? young lottie next to her, hand on her heart, telling her that it's going to be okay. as she says, "IT'S not evil, just hungry." this line correlates with what lottie said a few episodes earlier: "just because you don't understand something doesn't mean it's evil." nat and lottie both don't understand each other's ways of dealing with their issues, so they argue and they oppose. in a tragic end to their story, nat's death is documented as a drug overdose and lottie is sent away to a psych ward by her friends. despite everything they went through, the ups and the downs and the healing, lottie and nat will always be the psycho and the druggie. they are similar in this way: they are stuck with these issues and that's all they're seen for by anyone else. but they see each other as more.

you made so many excellent points. great analysis! they really are two sides of the same coin and narrative foils.

"the dismissiveness of lottie's parents, similar to nats, affected her in a completely opposite way. instead of building up walls and becoming cold, lottie seeks to use her abilities to give comfort to everyone else around her. while dealing with similar core traumas, they react to it in very different ways."

this part in particular reminded me of a thought i had the other day. about lottienat and the deer + moose symbolism. it pretty much reflects what you just mentioned. lottie being associated with the deer (a creature considered in many mythologies to be connected to the supernatural and the divine, a creature that prefers to live in herds. just like lottie who doesn't isolate herself by choice. she surrounds herself with people) vs nat being associated with the moose (unlike other deer species moose do not form herds and are solitary animals)

[quesocheeso]

Okay play time is over

I’m joking no one is getting nerfed lmaoo

I’m not actually that horrible

Although the coin did land to get rid of the family and I would have but I was like damn that sounds like it really sucks and well I don’t like angst like that because why be sad when we can just be happy y’know

Sucks to only want angst when we could just have a happy au or something, maybe a lil bit of angst here and there for the funsies✌️

Just wanted to play along with the angst likers for a minute there lmaooo give them a bit of hope before crushing it lol😁👍

[fancyfeathers]

Ykw I guess that make sense, i feel like its only easier since daughter!reader can push him around a little since they're the same age. It's honestly hard to say who has the best relationship since they all suck😭. If I was her I'd be able to handle him. Except DICK AND BRUCE. they are basically two sides of the same coin and it would drive me crazy. I wouldn't stay in the same room with them if I could. Nothing could convince me otherwise. Although, when mother and daughter get older does the relationship improve with any of them or does it all just spiral out of control?

I know eventually that the secret will come out that Bruce blackmailed mother!reader to get back together. I just KNOW daughter!reader will never let this go. She'd do everything she can to help her mom out. Call the Kent's? Call her crazy (ex?) court of owls boyfriend? Anything to get away from these psychos. Might as well call the whole justice league

Yandere Batfam w/ Wife/Mother!Darling & Daughter/Sister!Darling Masterlist

Honestly I think I am gonna place this in a Yandere!Justice League AU so like say if she did get out and told someone like Clark about what has happening, he’d just take her back to Gotham, “I believe this is yours”. Or if the Justice League found her, cue the next meeting were Bruce walks in to see his daughter in one of Hal’s constructs, an oversized hamster ball and just, “Hey Spooky, I think you lost this one, she tried to bite off my finger so she’s definitely yours.” This whole idea makes the thought of her becoming an anti-Batman/Justice League vigilante later in life even more funny.

On the other end of things…

One would think it would have improved over the years and in some cases it has, like by the time Daughter!Darling is a junior or senior in high school her mother has just sort of accepted there is no way in hell out of this for her and after that point her marriage is fairly normal or as normal as it can get. Meanwhile Daughter!Darling only grows more agitated as the years go on, and at the point where she is almost an adult she is in her extreme rebellious phase as they call it, but in actuality it is just her being a normal teenager.

Like she leaves after school with her friends or boyfriend (before she found out the truth) and hangs out with them and while her mother said it was alright, her father never did. Like I am just imagining her and her friend group, which is small all ready because Damian scares away most of everyone else, along with her boyfriend going out to grab coffee after school and Tim shows up, telling her friends that he has to take her home because there was an accident-

Bullshit, they were tracking her location and he’s come to drag her back to the manor.

This sort of thing happens every time she tries to do something away from them…

Dick came to pick her up from the ice skating rink.

Jason practically dragged her away before she could even get in her boyfriend’s car when he was going to take her out to the movies.

Even Stephanie has shown up when she was shopping with her friends for a dress for a date with her boyfriend (he had given her his credit card to pay for the dress), but that date never ended up happening.

It all comes down to a boiling point one day after school, Damian was sick and she had convinced Bruce that she was tutoring a student after school but instead she was in the backseat of her boyfriend’s car (you can probably guess what they were doing) since they have not spent time with each other in forever. She is cuddled up next to him and he finally asks…

“Is everything okay at home?”

“You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Try me.”

She explains everything to him, well almost everything, right as she was about to reveal that her father is the Batman, there is a very loud knocking on the window of the car, and a very angry looking Dick Grayson was there, she had forgotten that he was going to pick her up from school. She pushes her boyfriend back when he tries to stop her from leaving but she tells him not to get involved right now.

The drive back with Dick is tense to say the least, he grips the steering wheel so tightly that you can practically hear the skin squeezing the leather. The worst part of it is that he calls Bruce in front of her and tells him everything…

“She had sex with a boy-“

“We didn’t go all the way-“

“You were half naked in his care, I- you have a bite mark on your neck- oh for fuck’s sake.”

When she gets home she is in huge trouble, even Stephanie and Cassandra, who normally somewhat take her side, are mad at her, so you can only imagine how fuming Bruce is at her. It is horrible for her to be sitting in the living room with everyone around her while they all yell at her and she barely gets the chance to talk.

“You are practically a child, what would make you think-“

“I turned eighteen a month ago!”

“I think you should have let me put that boy in his place when I first found them together, father.”

“Maybe she should stay with me in Blüdhaven for awhile.”

“No, we should keep her at the manor.”

“Really Timothy, and let her continue to let her to go to school with that boy who defiled her?”

“Damian, I was the one who-“

“We could confine her to her room until we find a better way to address her behavior.”

Then that is what happens, locked in her room twenty four hours a day, the definition of a prisoner in your own home. Every screen in the room has been taken out, cameras in her room, she eats by herself unless someone comes to join her, most books are taken away because they could be considered even mildly inappropriate, so literally all she can do is sleep, eat, shower, schoolwork that Damian brings her, and she could talk when one of them comes to see her but she really does not want to.

Meanwhile at school her boyfriend is fucking pissed at Damian and her boyfriend is one of the most influential people in that building, one of those pretty boys, so having him being mad at you isn’t a good thing…

Especially when his family are rather influential members of the Court of Owls.

His family holds enough influence to get Damian expelled from the school for his aggressive tendencies. His mother drags Mother!Darling off at galas and charity balls to join her circle of friends, most of which are members of the Court of Owls as well, and while Mother!Darling is drinking a glass of champagne and chatting, the boyfriend’s mother places a hand on her shoulder and gives her a smile…

“You know I am your friend, right? You can trust me with anything.”

Sooner or later something is bound to slip in the facade of a perfect family and when that happens everything becomes a clock, ticking away.

One night after everyone has left for patrol and the two darlings are getting ready for bed a few certain shadows slip into Wayne Manor. Now it may turn a few head in the court, sending out Talons to kidnap rather than kill, but it can be overlooked when one of them is going to be the fiancé of the heir of the Court’s most influential families.

Now this could end one of two ways…

The first of which is if the Bats get back in time, the alarms going off in the manor at the intrusion. Then by the end of it all Daughter!Darling is in the corner, crying and terrified, feeling horrible that her family was right all along about the boy she was dating, he was a horrible person. After that neither of them are left alone again, she moves rooms to share with Cassandra or maybe Stephanie, and not just share a room but share a bed, if something happens then they can’t waste a moment on reacting. Then someone is always with them, Bruce’s wife is stuck to his side during the day, being dragged along wherever he goes, then the youngest of the bunch has all of her siblings looking after her, wake up next to Cass, get dragged along by Damian after breakfast, forced cuddles from Dick (and Barbara if she is there) before lunch, Jason watching her during lunch to make sure she eats enough, watching movies with Stephanie in the afternoon, Tim keeping an eye on her while he reviews footage before dinner, and then when patrol rolls around one or two of them stays back to keep an eye on them.

Then the second outcome is if they don’t get there in time. They won’t wake up with the entire court present, no that is honestly far too intimidating and they certainly enemies of the court, but they do not wake up together either. Mother!Darling wakes up in an armchair in a sitting room, it is terrifying to see all of those friends at those galas she got dragged into all sitting there, laughing and talking like nothing was wrong, and then the boyfriend’s mother just smiling at her…

“Oh wonderful, you’re awake! I was worried you got hit too hard when you got knocked out.”

“W-what’s g-going on?”

“Oh yes, I suppose you would be scared, but you need not worry, I promise you that no one will harm you or your daughter again. Now that aside, would you like some wine? We have this one red wine that just came in from Italy that is absolutely divine.”

Meanwhile her daughter wakes up in a room that is not hers with her boyfriend next to her, holding that white owl mask, and he just smiles at her while she’s terrified because she thinks she was just kidnapped by her boyfriend who always felt too innocent to even get in a verbal argument with someone.

“Shh… don’t cry sweet thing, you’re safe now, nothing will ever hurt you or your mother again.”

[d3cay1ngst4tic]

— YOUR NAME SUFFOCATES MY GUTS, PLEASE DON’T STOP STARING .

synopsis. piercing blue eyes, and ivory locks— the town’s haunted by the unseen monster that lingers about, leaving you unsure of his existence.

but he’s already consumed you whole, real or not.

content. satoru gojo x gn!reader, vampire!toru, mildly grotesque imagery, fantasy, horror, jiah’s poorly invented currency, human nature at its FINEST LMAO, reader is a bookstore owner, ah yes pining 101 (he already knows).

word count. 1.26k

★ jiah’s notes. pspspsps vamp!toru. . . i have pomegranate juice. . . pspspps (i actually have half a mind to make this a series???)

series masterlist.

001 — nothing to hold onto but shattered glass.

now, the town folk aren’t exactly wrong about the vampire.

sharp eyes, they’d say. ones that make you feel that he’s tearing right through your gaze with daggers instead of a stare. “they were— they were glowing in the dark, too,” shrieks the old man, his grip white-knuckled on his beer, although you wouldn’t be so sure if it’s the heart-lurching horrors that’s making his chest heave or the ‘is that right’s and ‘good lord’s of the terrified ladies. “it’s a mighty relief that i looked away before he could notice, the devil.”

(. . . judging from the faint, pleased flush settling over his cheeks, it’s probably the latter.)

“flee the minute you catch a glimpse of silver hair,” the milk maid would say, wiping some sweat off her brow. you’d tilt your head a little, and so would her young son. “that’s fifteen aesills, by the way.”

your hands would then thrust the bronze coins into her outstretched one, although your mind’s really elsewhere.

something would urge you to ask the woman about him more, but a tiny voice would beat you to it.

“but— . . but mother,” the small boy would gulp, clutching onto her long, cotton skirt, earning a hum of acknowledgement from the lady, “do i have to run away from you, too?”

(a pause.)

you’d huff out a small laugh at the squeals that escape the poor child when the merciless mother throttles his ear, muttering curses under her breath and walking her own way, chest puffed out in haughty indignation.

(yeah, maybe you’re gonna make it a point to actually flee the moment your eyes land on an ivory strand or two.)

“my mikhail accidentally locked eyes with him when she woke up one night,” the troubled young man would say, holding onto his sobbing wife, “she’s been terribly ill, ever since. we’ve tried every healer in town, spent countless aurcels—” his voice wobbles a little, and your chest feels a tad tighter than before, “—but we cannot find any way to. . . to save her.”

“o—oh, good lords,” your eyes trail over the frail child in the woman’s arms as she screams to the heavens above, “what sins— what sins did i—i do for my daughter to suffer such torment? damn it, damn that monster—”

“nadia,” her husband murmurs, before looking away.

(you’re pretty sure he does that to diminish his own agony.

or at least, tries to.)

and so it is.

from the billboard square to the farthest, dustiest corner of the common bar— faint whispers, loud allegations, trembling mournings fill the air, contaminating it entirely, like tiny little pinpricks sticking into your lungs everytime you suck in a breath—

(—wondering why the dull ache in your chest just won’t go away.)

although, now that you think it over, the vampire isn’t entirely bloodied lips and frightened screams.

a medium— that’s what he is, a medium to feel awestruck gazes, a medium to achieve the unadulterated attention that measly mortals crave. that’s what he’s become; a tool for unnoticed humans who are just desperate for some sort of validation.

(honestly? you would’ve gladly done the things that he’s accused of doing, if it meant that you were reduced to nothing but a means of fame to a bunch of nobodies.)

or maybe that’s what you try to tell yourself.

because by the end of the day, you’re still fascinated by him. you know you shouldn’t, it’s wrong, it’s impure, it’s unholy— to take interest in a creature as sinful as this—

(— but the bloom tucked between your ribs tells otherwise.)

this strange little flower, blossoming in your bones like some forbidden fantasy. it’s a question, a plea, a request— what if they’re all wrong?

what if the vampire stares because he seeks, not because he wants to kill?

(that’s because seeks his prey first, you tell yourself.)

what if he has silver hair because he’s something to be worshipped— after all, nothing’s more pure than silver— not something to be feared?

(or maybe he’s feigning to be something worth purity, you tell yourself.)

what if his gaze is a means of his power? something to showcase his superiority— something to warn us all?

(no, he just finds twisted pleasure in ailing mortals, you tell yourself.)

either way, he’s invaded your senses entirely.

he’s the lump in your throat before you weep, he’s the glimmer in your eyes when you stare longingly at the sky, he’s the skipped heartbeat when you turn to look over your shoulder, seeking something unseen.

(this decayed morale of yours just finds a way back to him, every single time.)

“that’d be ten aurcels,” you mutter, eyes unfocused, hands idly wiping some dust off the ancient leather of the book.

“ah,” a rich voice quips, “i thought it’d be more, considering that this book is two centuries old.”

(a pause.)

you raise your head. really, who was this infuriating incel, teaching you how to do your job? a snarky retort dances at the tip of your tongue, but the moment you lock eyes with the stranger, your mind blanks.

“how d’you know th— . . .”

(blue.)

intensely so— suddenly, the book in your hands turns blue, and so does the half open drawer of the wooden counter— your trembling fingers, the dusty bookshelves, the jab of something through your guts— all of it. so, so blue that it hides away everything else.

(guess the man was right about his eyes glowing.)

“you seem a tad bit flushed,” his voice is a distant thing in the heavy mist that’s settled over your thoughts, but you can make out the airy, light tone quite tangibly, “do pardon me if my words came out as offensive. i was merely stating an observation.”

the apology is like insincerity embodied.

(you’re drawn to it, like always.)

“ten aurcels, then?” he hums, reaching for his pockets.

you barely register his words. he doesn’t seem to notice.

(although, the teensy little smirk on his face suggests that he’s pretending not to.)

“i’d like to leave a tip—” large hands gently pry the book out of your unnaturally still hands. you let go wordlessly. you don’t even notice the hundreds of gold being dumped on the counter. you don’t feel a thing, anyways.

(nothing except the needle thrust through your chest.)

“—after all, can’t leave a dear like you hanging,” he’s rambling now, and something in the back of your mind tells you that you wouldn’t have listened even if you were in your sense, “i’m terribly sorry for making such crude remarks. i do hope you don’t banish me from your store, my love.”

it’s only until you hear faraway footsteps that you snap out of your daze, feral-eyed and so incredibly cold.

(wait. wait. wait wait wait wait wait—)

“s—stop!—” you gasp, running the fastest you’ve ever ran, though your legs feel like they’ve been rendered boneless, “—stop, please.”

“hm?”

(silver.)

such maddeningly bright locks, making all the snow on the street look like false, cheap imitations of what white’s actually supposed to look like.

(you don’t look into the blue. you’ve got to speak.)

“w—what’s your—” there’s a stitch at your sides, and you hold onto it, heaving.

(it’s smaller than the one in your chest, anyway.)

“my name?” he hums, and you stop dead in your tracks.

(guess you’ll get caught either way, even if you don’t look at the blue—

— because the wide grin that he gives you serves the same purpose; sharp fangs glimmering in the dark and kissing the flower in your ribs.)

“satoru gojo.”

@stxrysnow on tumblr. do not copy or post any of my works.

[scarlicbread27]

i’m gonna make a statement and the sirius/severus fans might not like this one but…

sirius and severus are very much opposite sides of the same coin.

(before you continue, i would just like to suggest proceeding with caution as i will be mentioning topics such as abuse and bullying).

sirius grew up with wealth and privilege, severus did not. however, it’s heavily implied in canon that they both experienced some form of abuse whether it be mental or physical. gonna sight some sources because i’ve had people argue with me over that:

^ as shown above, we get a lot from sirius that suggests the way his mother’s portrait acts is similar to the way she acted in life (although presumably more extreme). furthermore, we get a direct comparison of harry’s childhood house to sirius’ from harry himself, implying there’s similarities in their treatment and the memories formed in these households.

it was actually much harder to find evidence for severus’ possible abuse, but there’s definitely signs of neglect. he was obviously poor, so his appearance might just be a reflection of that but the stuff about the arguing and his father’s distaste for everything does imply abuse.

^ as shown above, this is actually considered a form of emotional abuse.

ANYWAY, onto my original point! both sirius and severus do negative things, possibly as a result of this abuse:

- severus’ distaste for muggles, stemming from a young age, is arguably because of his father. he joins the death eaters and picks prejudice friends as a result. however, it’s also possible he joined the death eaters to feel powerful, considering it’s implied he’s felt anything but throughout his childhood (and also during hogwarts because of james and sirius). this, obviously, is an awful decision and cannot be justified but it’s always interesting to look deeply into the motives of morally grey characters.

- also, he rejects his surname and creates the title ‘half-blood prince’ which probably suggests bad relations with his father (or maybe he just wanted a cool name, although that’s not an argument that fits with my yapping).

- sirius similarly seeks power through his constant defiance: he becomes a gryffindor (there is some level of choice during the sorting, remember!), he completely opposes his parents beliefs and was probably only further motivated by their mistreatment considering he ends up disowned. additionally, he seeks out power through bullying in canon. it’s a well known fact that bullies maybe be acting this way due to bad situations in their home life.

arguably, these two guys are acting out in attempt to combat their shitty situations.

FINALLY, in adulthood these two guys seem to be heavily controlled by their past. sirius never got the chance to mature and grieve, stuck in a prison with creatures that literally sucked the happiness and positivity out of him. he was stunted, dealing with his grief and incapable of joining society. instead, he got trapped in his childhood home which was probably full of great memories!! (sarc) he remains impulsive and clearly still holds his childhood grudge against severus.

severus’ only purpose for living was avenging lily (i believe?). he joined dumbledore in attempt to save her, and then just continued to help him when he failed. he’s very clearly burdened by his mistakes and stuck grieving for his past friendship. adding onto that, he can’t let go of his anger at the marauders: he takes it out on harry, absolutely jumps at the chance to get sirius ‘kissed’ and blatantly despises remus.

i’m done! i’m not doing a conclusion because i hate those so… enjoy my badly worded ramble? please don’t be mean in the comments if you disagree!

[antimatterz]

lucky day

luka x gn!reader

summary: you found the cutest plushie in a claw machine, but can't get a hold of it. fortunately, a handsome stranger shows up to help you out.

cw: modern au, first meeting, probably ooc luka ?

content under the cut | masterlist

today was not your lucky day.

for the nth time in such a short span of time, you popped yet another coin into the slot, once again purchasing three attempts to get that adorable plushie from the claw machine at the local fair. you lost track of how much you'd already spent, and maybe that was for the better. you were pretty sure it was getting out of hand, but you were this far in and you didn't want to walk away empty-handed after putting in so much time, money, and effort.

a small group of kids was looking at you curiously as your hand moved to the joystick, navigating the robotic claw to be precisely above the desired plush. they'd been staring at you for quite some time now, because it must've been obvious how desperate you were to win. for you, it was torture, but you guessed it was pretty entertaining for them.

as you deemed its position to be correct, you slammed the button with a little too much enthusiasm, and the claw began its descend. hope filled your being as it gnawed at the plush, dragging it upward a few inches. but then the weight came to be too much to carry, and the stuffed toy fell down again.

it went like that for a good twenty minutes at this point, and although you've been stubborn for the past fifteen minutes, you were about to give up. you were out of coins, and the utter frustration you felt wasn't aiding in the game. yeah, it was time to head out and go home and forget about this stupidly cute plushie. you'd just find it online and get it way cheaper.

with a huff, you turned around, ready to stomp away from the cursed machine. but you nearly collided with a body that stood there and stumbled back in surprise. afore you was a guy with vibrant red hair and a smile that was evenly radiant. striking blue eyes gazed at you, and you momentarily forgot about your previous endeavors.

that guy was handsome.

"i'm sorry, i didn't see you," you brought out. "excuse me."

before you could get caught staring, you ambled away, but his voice calling out stopped you from moving any further.

"you wanted that stuffed toy, right?" the guy asked, his index finger pointing at the plushie you so desired.

"mhm," you nodded. "i just suck at... this." you vaguely motioned towards the clawing machine, smiling awkwardly.

"gimme a moment," the red-haired spoke, reaching into the left front pocket of his jeans and whipping out a coin. he tossed it up, flipping it mid-air before catching it again and popping it into the slot in one swift motion. he offered you an easy smile before he turned his back towards you.

the machine came to life again, emitting beeping sounds and lights flickering enthusiastically. you watched in awe as he confidently moved the claw towards the right position, and you realized what was going on. this dashingly handsome but unfamiliar guy was trying to win you the plushie you wanted so badly? you blinked. things like this didn't happen in real life, did they? then, why was it happening to you right now?

"alright, let's go," the guy hummed, before the palm of his hand met with the button. a buzzing sound followed, and the claw dipped deeper and deeper until it grabbed the plush.

together, you held your breaths as you gazed at the plushie's journey. the machine dragged it up and up, and with each stutter and hiccub, you feared that it would fall down – like it did when you wasted countless attempts. but it didn't, and it moved to the left until the stuffed toy dangled right above the square deposit. the claws opened, dropping the toy right where you wanted it.

victorious music came from the machine, and the handsome stranger bent down to retrieve it. he got back up, and when he was about to hand it to you, he seemed to think of something and retreated his hand.

"as a thank you, i think you should name it after me, hm?" he smiled cheekily, and it was such a contagious smile that the corners of your lips also curled up.

"that's fair," you agreed. "then, what should i name it?"

"the name is luka," the red-haired guy, now known as luka, introduced himself. he finally handed you the plushie, and you were quick to hug it against your chest.

"thank you so much, luka," you grinned widely. "you have no idea how much i wanted this one."

"oh, believe me, it was kinda obvious," luka laughed. "that's why i was like, okay, alright, i see a cutie and– oops."

he quickly slammed a hand over his mouth, but you had heard him clearly. for the second time in such a short time, you gazed at him in awe, and he looked back awkwardly.

"t-thanks," you uttered.

"w-what's your name?" he asked. "i don't think i asked."

"i'm y/n," you told him. "thanks again for the plushie, i'm–" you didn't know what else to say, so in order to emphasize your words, you rubbed your cheeks against the soft fabric lovingly. "i think the name luka suits it really well."

"well, y/n," luka began, scratching the back of his head in a cute, awkward manner. "if you want, you can return the favor by meeting me here again tomorrow? maybe we can play some games here together and–"

your gaze lit up at his words, and the shift in your expression allowed relief to ghost over luka's face. your answer was clear before you had spoken, and the red-haired guy smiled brightly.

"great, meet me here at seven pm?" he asked, and you nodded happily. now, you were really looking forward to that.

not only was this guy strikingly handsome, but he also was a sweetheart, judging from the way he stepped in and won you the plushie you failed to obtain by yourself. and now he kind of asked you out? it made your heartbeat pick up in joy, and you couldn't help the massive smile that almost split your cheeks.

you thanked him another time, and again, and again, until he jokingly shut you up by putting his index finger against your lips. after that, you bid your goodbyes – or rather, you parted ways with a see you tomorrow. on your way home, you were afloat in dreamland, because aeons, that guy stole your heart instantly.

maybe it was your lucky day, after all.

[raewritesfiction]

The Deputy [Jeremy Renner]

A/N: I watched the video for “Trouble” by Pink and it gave me this idea. Still…. ACAB. I know he plays the Sheriff in the video but for this he’s the Deputy! Also the daughter’s name was picked at random via a Google generator.

Plot: You’re locked in a cell in the Wild Wild West but Deputy Renner has a soft spot for you.

Pairing: Deputy! Jeremy Renner x Female!Reader

Warnings: Smut. Sex worker. Lesbianism. Unsafe sex. Handcuffs.

[[ Lemme know if you wanna be added or removed from tags; no questions asked ♥️ likes are amazing however I really appreciate Reblogs to help spread my writing further! Thank you 🌈😘]]

Tag List: @thegreatlarryfisherman @iraniq @snewsome756 @vikki-rogue @amelia-in-w0nderland @pandaliciouz @crispyimagines17 @marie-is-blogging @bonniebird @nutinanutshell @louise-buchan @differentcatcat @madsadgenius @dreamlesswonder86 @purplerain85 @lipstickandtanqueray @kandis-mom @melaclintbartoncorner @mcugeekposts @kcthescreamqueen

—

You sigh loudly just to piss off the Sheriff as he goes off duty and switches with his Deputy; you blow the man in charge a kiss “say hello to Scarlett for me!”

“That bitch stays put!” He says to the Deputy and walks out mumbling under his breath.

You’d get nowhere with the Sheriff but the Deputy…. Deputy Renner had a soft spot for you since you came to town and you were more than willing to use your own soft spot to your advantage.

The Deputy smiles at you behind the cell bars and shakes his head “ma’am… just what did you?”

“Hello Deputy Renner.” You wink “well… it seems I was caught stealin’ from a client… the thing is it was the heart of the Sheriff's daughter I stole…and he don’t like that none.”

Deputy Renner nods “uh huh…”

“The Sheriff wants Scarlett to marry some big wig in the city. Business type…. So he’s sending her off tonight on the last train of the day.”

“Well ain’t that a pickle?!” He grips onto the bars and flexes his biceps.

“Ain’t it just? I would very much like to leave and see her off… but it seems that I am stuck here in cuffs.” You pout and flutter your lashes at the Deputy.

“I would very much be obliged if you could let me out and although the sheriff took all my coins I can pay in a different way.”

Deputy Renner raises an eyebrow “I see…” re-adjusting his cowboy hat as he walks to the door of the cell you were in. “And how would you pay ma’am?”

“Well I know how badly you’ve been trying to get to my room at my… lodgin’s… but it seems I am always very busy with other clientele. Maybe I could forgo payment just this once to give you a very private experience right here?”

Deputy Renner smirks and licks his lips “well, the sheriff is gone until mornin’… but what do I tell him then?”

“You tell him I slipped my cuffs with a hair pin while you were taking care of business and then escaped my cell the same way… and you’re not in the habit of manhandlin’ a lady like that.”

“Well you have this all thought out don’t ya?” His hand was already unlocking the cell door for you.

“Yes sir, I most certainly do.” You smile and stand, flashing him your most seductive smile.

“You clean…?” He watches you.

“I sure am, it’s why my price is so high.” You nod “my clientele is very select.”

The Deputy nods and motions for you to step out towards him whereupon he guides you back towards the Sheriff’s desk “this would piss him off so badly…”

You nod “in which case I am all for it… and if it’s your thing… you can leave me in the cuffs.”

“Oh I am definitely leavin’ you in the cuffs until we’re done.” The Deputy nods and makes light work of undoing your bodice; it was re-stitched multiple times but it was still a firm favourite of your clients due to the way it made your tits so pronounced.

The Deputy licked his lips at the sight of your bare chest and his hands moved to massage and tease you, watching your nipples harden under his touch. You let out breathless moans and gasps; his name escaping you when his lips close around your nipple and suck lightly before switching to the other side.

You shuffle your legs and squeeze his hips with your thighs “please Deputy Renner…”

“So polite ma’am… I’m not so much when it comes to matters of pussy…” his hands glide up your legs and move the layers of skirts until he gazes at you “well look at that pretty pink pussy… I was almost expecting it to be made of gold the way other men and women talk about it.”

You blush and smile, leaning into his ear and speaking quietly “feels like silk, so I’m told…”

The Deputy moans low and reaches between your legs, sliding his fingers over you until they were slick and then pushing them into you with ease. You throw your head back and moan quietly; you had mastered the art of making the right noises at the right times but the way the Deputy moved his fingers inside you felt like he knew how to please a lady; curling and scissoring, thrusting them slowly then speeding up until you were whining against his ear and rocking your hips to his hand for release. Something you usually had to do for yourself between clients.

He withdraws his fingers and licks them clean, humming and closing his eyes “so sweet…”

You lean panting against him and nibble on his earlobe, wanting nothing more than to touch him but being bound by the cuffs behind your back.

Deputy Renner makes quick work of his belts and pants; pushing them down to free his hardening cock. “Want me to help?” You whisper and nip again.

“On your knees…” he commands

You drop down and open your mouth ready for him, your tongue peaking out over your teeth. His cock tastes a little salty, surely better than most of your clients and you bob your head as you suck along his length, taking little time to feel him harden fully.

“You’re over qualified for this…” he breathes and holds the edge of the desk “get up!” He groans and moves your skirts as you position yourself on the desk again; his hand grips your hip while the other guides his cock into you with ease, “God damn you really do feel as soft as silk…” he groans and pulls you down his length fully, both hands now gripping your hips.

You steady yourself and tighten around him in pulses to tease; a little something that drove other clients wild. The Deputy moans and gasps “keep doing that…” he starts thrusting into you and you’re glad the desk is against a wall for stability; his thrusts are rough and deep but he’s not hurting you like others who do the same. He keeps the pace measured and steady, your pussy coating his cock in your arousal until you’re both a panting mess.

The Deputy watches your tits move on every thrust, mesmerised by their sight and the way your body reacts to him. He watches your nipples harden into sensitive nubs and leans down to suck on them in turn making you whine and moan. Actual moans; you didn’t have to fake anything for the Deputy as he speeds up his hips and reaches to tease your clit - he wasn’t just about his own pleasure. You tightened and relaxed your walls around him as best you could and arched towards him as his teeth scraped over your nipple.

“Oh fuck!” You moan and pant quickly, violently tightening around his cock and pulling him into you with the force of your release. The Deputy grunts roughly and has enough thought to pull out of you, wrapping his hand around himself and jerking himself roughly, moving back as you fall to your knees and throw your head back again. After only moments you feel his hot cum on your bare tits, where his lips had been just seconds ago. His moan is rough and full of pleasure he’d been wanting to release; his jaw was lax and eyes tight shut and his chest heaving.

After a few of minutes, The Deputy is uncuffing you and watching you re-dress yourself.

“Come by anytime and tell them I sent you; I’ll make sure you get a good deal on any lady you like… and I’ll be sure to always have time for you, Deputy.”

He nods and offers a smile “Thank you ma’am… you’d better get running if you’re gonna catch her.”

You nod and leave to the sound of Renner sighing and thanking God.

-Fin-

[strawberriesinbloom]

Winning Plushies

Zayne/Gender-Neutral Reader

Summary: Zayne tries to win a plushie for you. Unfortunately, you are your own worst enemy.

Word Count: 791

This is a tickle fic btw!

~🍓~

You pressed your nose up to the glass of the claw machine, squinting thoughtfully at the plushies inside. Truthfully, you wanted them all. Alas, you were down to your last few tokens, so you really had to make them count.

“I want that one,” you said, pointing at the little Cone Crab plushie in the corner.

Zayne raised his eyebrows. “Really? It’s a little…”

You glared at him.

“…interesting looking,” he finished.

“Well, I still want it.”

“Fine,” Zayne said, inserting a token into the coin slot. “I’ll get it for you.” He moved the joystick to the right, as he carefully watched the claw move.

You two had been at the arcade all afternoon. While you had won a decent amount of plushies for yourself, you felt bad that Zayne didn’t have much of a chance to play. Although he seemed less than eager to have his turn, he finally relented after a little bit of back and forth.

You patted him on the shoulder. “You can do it, Zayne! You got this.”

“Is this your way of encouraging me?” He flicked the joystick a little to the left.

“Yes. Is it working?”

“Not particularly.”

He pressed the button. The claw lowered down and grabbed the Cone Crab, only for it to immediately slip out of its grasp. Zayne sucked his teeth and inserted another token.

You huffed. Zayne always had to be difficult. “Alright, then. How about this?” You hooked your arm around his waist. “Is this working?”

Zayne glanced at you momentarily before returning his attention to the claw machine. “You’re much too bold,” he said, a little color appearing on his cheeks.

You laughed a little, giving Zayne’s side a playful squeeze. You faltered when he jumped. “Zayne?”

“It was just a reflex. I’m not ticklish.” He said, a little too focused on positioning the claw correctly. If he wasn’t quick enough, the timer would reach zero, and he would miss his turn.

You smiled. “Really, you’re not? That’s disappointing.” You sneakily spidered your fingers up to his ribs, delighting in the way his entire body flinched.

“Stohop that!” he hissed through gritted teeth. “I’m trying to c-cohoncentrate.” Zayne was trying to keep his voice low to not disturb the other patrons, and perhaps to also keep his own dignity afloat.

“Stop what? I’m not tickling you, am I?” You asked, using your other hand to poke at his stomach.

Zayne buckled forward. “I’m tehelling you to stop this instant!” His ears had turned red, along with the rest of his face. Before you could respond, the claw machine beeped. You looked over, and, sure enough, the timer had reached zero. The claw automatically lowered, grabbed at nothing, and returned to its starting position. “Now, look at what you did,” he said, “You made me waste a token.”

“It’s not my fault that you’re so ti—“ One look at Zayne’s sneer made you stop in your tracks. “…jumpy. It’s not my fault you're so jumpy.”

“You’re much too touchy-feely with me. Just promise you won’t do it again.”

You held up your right hand. “I promise,” you said, closing your eyes for good measure.

Zayne waited for you to open your eyes before rolling his own. “Whatever.” He picked up one more token and slipped it into the coin slot. He started playing again, this time sneaking a couple of glances your way to ensure that you were keeping still.

Unfortunately, for Zayne, you weren’t particularly good at keeping promises. The moment his eyes left yours, you reached over and slowly dragged your index finger down the small of his back.

Zayne went rigid and let out a sharp gasp. He hit the button much too early, and, once again, the claw lowered down to grasp at nothing. He crossed his arms and glared at you over his sunglasses. You cackled.

“Sorry, sorry! I just couldn’t resist!” You covered your mouth with your sleeve to muffle yourself. His stern look was unwavering, which you only found more amusing. “Okay, okay, I’m really sorry. I promise not to mess with you, again. For real, this time.” You turned to face the claw machine. “I still want that Cone Crab.”

“Too bad.” Zayne shook his head. “That was our last token.”

“Really?” you said, searching your pockets. To your dismay, he was right. You didn’t have any more tokens left. “Wait.” You knelt down to search your tote bag, which was holding all of your plushies. “But, the Cone Crab’s the only plushie that I don’t have, yet. We need to win this one.”

The corners of Zayne’s lips shot up briefly. “Perhaps you should have thought of that before giving into your childish antics.”

Yeah…perhaps you should have.

[boatboys]

actually on the topic of old drawings; the first-ever drawings I did of Rich, Liam, and Sol turned up on my deep-dive of old discord messages and I was compelled to redraw/compare!

Rich very much predates the worldbuilding of the Michigan Fleet universe, as one of Key/rollerskatinglizard's oldest OCs, and was originally just a normal amount of un-tweaked big and buff dude, although I also sucked at drawing people with body mass back when I drew these lol. It does make me laugh that the huge crooked nose and sad, downturned eyes have been a constant from sketch one!

Liam predates the Michigan Fleet as well and was originally mine! He..... hasn't changed much actually haha. Although his size/prettiness/temper being a genetic modification is new, from the first lengthy discussion of mods where fourhands and hastings both got established (although not by those names). It looks like I coined the mod name "Babydoll", which I do NOT remember doing.

Sol was the most Group Effort of these three, looking back at the messages: Key invented a salty little gorgeous asshole with modded hearing for a snatch of interaction in a wildly different context than his new introduction; roach was the one who suggested the elf ears and iridescent hair to go along with it, I was the one who suggested he was from New York and threw several large pinches of "a big tsundere about Rich" into the mix, and a lot of the much later patrician worldbuilding was roach.

[bb-sg]

Beg Pt. 6

Gojo x Fem!reader, Geto x fem!reader

CW: Mentions of suicide

Part 6 is up. This is part of a series, I recommend reading the other parts first.

֍ Part 1 ֍ Part 2 ֍ Part 3 ֍ Part 4 ֍ Part 5 ֍

Please mind the warning, MDNI.

“Isn’t that right, Geto?”

Geto’s jaw locked while he stared Gojo down. You could feel the tension rolling off of him but he remained composed, not giving into Gojo’s attempt to rile him up. The air suddenly felt heavy and cumbersome. The playful and inviting aura around Geto was long gone, replaced with a more serious and menacing one.

Geto sucked his teeth and scoffed. “I don’t know about strongest. You did get beat by a non-sorcerer after all.”

Geto leaned back into the chair and turned his attention towards you. He gave you a disingenuous smile, one that may have been meant to put you at ease but ended up doing the opposite. You fiddled with the hem of your shirt under the table, not wanting to intervene.

“Did he tell you about that? That’s why you found him half dead, unconscious and defenseless.” Geto���s face didn’t convey any of the venom that was in his tone.

Your eyes flickered to Gojo’s but once his eyes met yours, he quickly diverted his attention back to Geto. The wheels in your brain began to turn as you recalled your first encounter with him. You remembered the faint fluttering of his heart as you tried your best to keep him alive. The memory of seeing his blood trickling onto the forest floor made you grimace.

A person did that to him without cursed energy? How?

Lost in thought, you barely registered the two men continuing to bicker amongst each other, the volume of the argument rising with each exchange. The quiet place you called home now being flooded with testosterone and anger.

Geto’s body language remained neutral, remaining seated in the chair but his words cut deep, his tongue sharp as knives. While Gojo’s fist were clenched against the hard wood of the table, knuckles turning white from the strain he was putting on them. He laughed off all of Geto’s sly attempts to put him in place. His voice had a lit about it, a playful cadence although his body betrayed him, unsuccessfully hiding how pissed off Gojo was getting. Once again, it becomes apparent that these two were two sides of the same coin.

“Tch, don’t forget who saved your ass numerous times.” Gojo laughed, pushing his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “Cmon princess, I’ll show you who is stronger.”

“Oh.. is that what’s got you so worked up? You want to show off for the pretty girl. Typical Satoru.”

Your face burned as you felt embarrassment warming your skin, shaking your head, desperately not trying to get into the middle of whatever was happening between them. Geto lightly touched your arm, squeezing gently as if you reassure you. Gojo chuckled and ran his hand through his hair, pushing it out of his face. This was not how Gojo imagined this would go. He had secretly hoped that you would fawn over him in front of Geto, not the other way around.

“This is about you and me, nothing more”

This can’t just be about me. Underneath the embarrassment that racked your body, you felt frustrated and annoyed. You pulled your mask down impulsively and shouted, “Stop talking!”

Both men stopped talking abruptly, mid sentence. Geto looked shocked, grasping at his throat in panic when he failed to produce any more words. Gojo straightened up, visibly upset that he was unable to continue the argument. He shook out his hair and his frustration as well. He finally looked towards you, smiling. There was something off about his smile. Underneath the surface you sensed a certain melancholy bubbling up. He turned on his heel and headed towards the door, not looking back at either of you.

Geto was staring at you, his eyes fixated on your cursed markings and lips. The look on his face told you that he wasn’t upset that you used your technique on him but that he was almost impressed with you. He hadn’t walked into this situation having high hopes for you but you quickly changed his mind. You intrigued him, made him want to know more about you, made him want to see everything that you could do.

Regret hit you like a tone of bricks when you realized how reckless you had acted. Using your cursed speech so impulsively around others was dangerous, that had been drilled into since you were young. Still, you acted before you thought it through. You sighed and pulled your mask back over your face, shying away from Geto’s gaze.

The curse you had placed over them wore off quickly, allowing Geto to cough up a few words after a couple minutes. You waited patiently for him to berate you, to scold you for being so reckless. Instead, he laughed and smiled at you.

“That was good, you actually caught me off guard. Strong and beautiful, you’re impressive.”

Geto stood up and held his hand out for you, helping you up out of the chair. You sat still for a moment, surprised by how caviler he was acting. Once you snapped out of your stupor and back into the present you smiled at him hesitantly. His dark eyes scanned over your face, reading you like a book.

“I apologize for Satoru’s behavior as well as my own. We will have to go get him though, he’s got a one-track mind. Stay close to me, I’ll protect you at any cost. Although, I sense you can handle your own.”

You scrambled to get your phone before texting him.

I thought you guys were best friends.

A small, emotionless laugh escaped his lips before he started leading you to the door.

“We are. Guess we’ve just been in edge from the last mission.”

This was more than just being on edge. There was something more passionate, more raw looming over them. You secured your mask, making sure to brace yourself as Geto and you ventured into the forest.

The trail you usually take, the one you’ve carefully mapped out to avoid any dangers, was long behind you. The untouched vegetation crunched under your steps, weeds and roots littering the path you were paving. Geto led the way, calling out to Gojo who had, somehow, disappeared.

The forest felt like an entity all on its own. A thin fog filled the air around the trees, the mist floating above the forest floor. The trees swayed back and forth, with an ebb and flow that reminded you of your own slow and deep breathing. These trees towered over you, gigantic living beings that had been growing there for hundreds of years. It made you nervous and small, the silence and the electric feeling in the air suffocated you, making it hard to breathe.

You focused on Geto, watching the muscles in his back ripple with his every movement. He moved quietly but with ease, maneuvering the life of the forest expertly as if he had been there before. You couldn’t help but marvel at his grace, carrying himself confidently as if he’s carefully thought out every step he took. His composure made you feel safe, like you could follow him into the depths of hell. He may even be able to talk you into it too.

He jumped over a wide stream with ease and landed safely on the other side before turning around to you.

“Need a hand?” His outstretched hand reaching for you.

You huffed, slightly annoyed that he thought you couldn’t do it on your own. You ignored his hand and took a couple steps back before running and jumping over the stream, landing further than Geto did.

You looked back and smiled at him before holding your hand out to him. His eyes sparkled with amusement, and he smiled at you as he pushed your hand away in humor.

“My mistake. I’m going to enjoy getting to know you.” He purred while walking alongside of you. You bit your lip and hummed, hoping to conceal how much you loved his praise. The smile that crept onto your face reminded you of the one you used to get when you were little and had your first crush. He called out to Gojo again and received no response. He sighed and looked over at you.  

“He’s probably way ahead of us, recklessly preying on any curses he can find.”

You tapped his shoulder, flashing him your phone.

Is he going to be alright on his own?

“Yeah he’ll be fine, even if I don’t want to admit it sometimes, he is more than capable of handling himself. He is from the Gojo clan.”

You were pulled from the conversation when several small curses crawled across the ground, slowly attempting to chase you. Geto flicked his hand and a small canine looking curse appeared from his shadow. He then commanded the dog-like curse to attack and before you could register what was happening, the small curses were ripped apart by Geto’s curse.

You gasped, bewildered by Geto’s cursed technique. He controls curses? Like pets?

“Return.” He called out to the curse which immediately returned to his side, guarding Geto protectively.

He turned to you, his smile crinkled his eyes. You carefully walked up to him, eyeing the curse at his heels.

“Don’t worry, it won’t attack unless I tell it to. That’s my cursed technique. Not quite as elegant ass yours but can be handy.”

You stopped a few feet away from him, not fully convinced the rapid animalistic curse was safe. You nodded your head at Geto, hoping he might believe your façade that you were at ease. He reached out and held your hand, gently pulling you closer to him and the curse.

“See? I wouldn’t put you in harms way.” His fingers laced with yours while his other hand ran up and down your other arm, relaxing you. The uneasiness you felt now was due to his touch, allowing you to forget about the curse next to you. Not wanting him to see how shy he made you, you pulled away and began walking forward again, motioning for him to follow you. You did a terrible job of hiding your feelings, he was able to see how nervous he made you easily. Geto chose to say nothing, only smirking as he followed you, the curse trailing behind him.

The two of you continued through the forest and looking for Gojo, who was still nowhere to be found. Several small curses popped out from the darkness of the forest here and there. Geto’s curse swiftly destroyed them with ease. You had wanted to use your cursed speech to help exorcise the curses but Geto was too close to you. You wanted to show off in front of him, to see that impressed look directed at you again.

Through the darkness something caught your eye. Geto sensed it too, holding an arm in front of you protectively. The darkness shifted, something dancing through the shadows. He ducked down, pulling you down with him. A big hand clamped over your mouth while his other hand wrapped around your waist. Your back was flush against him, you could feel his heart beating in his chest. His smell engulfed you as you felt him wrap around you.

“Be quiet and stay down.” His breath tickled your ear and made your heart flutter. The loose hair that hung in his face was now brushing against your neck.

The moment and his proximity overwhelmed you, and almost made you lose sight of the bigger issue at hand. You quickly scanned the forest, looking for what had put you both on edge but found nothing. Geto’s curse had ran off in the direction of the sound, searching for the culprit that caused it. Geto’s grip on you loosened slightly as he whispered, “I can’t sense any cursed energy, can you?”

You shook your head slightly, the hand that had been covering your mouth dropped and rested on your shoulder. His other arm released you, allowing you to stand up slowly. Then you heard it, the soft sound of someone crying in the distance.

You looked back at Geto and motioned for him to follow you towards the sound. Before you could start walking, he grabbed your arm and pulled you back behind him as he led the way.

“Stay behind me.” His voice was stern and tense. With slow and careful steps, he led you deeper into the trees, carefully and stealthily, hiding in bushes and behind trees as the sound of crying grew louder. You remained guarded as you got closer and closer. The sound just barely audible over the sound of your heart pounding in your ears.

God why did I agree to this?

You caught a glimpse around him and could make out a man, leaning against a tree with his face buried in his hands. There appeared to be no curses around, just the man, who presented no immediate threat. This relaxed you, as your heartbeat slowed down and the tension in your body disappeared. Geto did not put down his guard, he stayed low and watched the man intensely as if he was waiting for him to attack.

The sound of the man crying chilled you, his sobs were heart-wrenching and painful. You couldn’t help but start walking towards him, slowly assessing what this man was doing out here in the first place. Faintly you heard Geto quietly beckoning you to stay close to him but you ignored him.

The man was dressed in a nice suit, his wrist cladded with a nice Rolex watch as well as expensive looking rings blessing his fingers. A gold wedding ring caught your eye as you looked him over. He looked well groomed, not a hair out of place. The only indication that he had trekked though a dense forest was the mud on his shoes.

As you got closer, you crotched down to his level until you were only a few feet away from him. He didn’t acknowledge your presence unto you gently tapped him on the shoulder. He jumped and looked at you like a deer caught in the headlights. His eyes were bloodshot and swollen. Dark, hollow circled haloed his eyes. His cheeks were stained with tears that he quickly tried to wipe away.

“Who are you? What are you doing here?” The man’s voice shook as he backed away from you slightly.

Then you saw the letter and a photograph of a women he was holding in his lap. Then you saw the gun he lay next to him and everything came together. This forest was infamous around the world for being a place where people chose to end their life. This man seemed to be here for that purpose. Bile rose up your throat as you pieced everything together, your stomach churned at the thought.

“Could ask you the same thing.” Geto appeared close behind you, approaching without a sound. His tone and stance were abrasive and unwelcoming.

“Please, leave me be.”

You slowly reached over his lap to attempt to take the gun away but he quickly pulled back from you. Without saying anything, you shot Geto a look, nodding your head to the man. Wordlessly, Geto crouched down to the man’s level and held his hand out.

“Give it. You’re being foolish.”

The man shook his head and swatted Geto’s hand back. The mad grew angry with your attempts to intervene. He picked up the gun and aimed it at Geto, his hand shaking, barely holding it steady. You scooted back away from the man and pulled your mask down, ready to command him to put the weapon down. Your heart thumped hard in your chest as Geto looked down the barrel, unmoving and unresponsive.

“Take your little girlfriend and get the hell out of here!” The man’s voice quivered as he tried to tell Geto off.

Your eyes flickered to Geto’s, noticing the cold stare on his face. It seemed like an eternity had passed before Geto looked over at you, no longer acknowledging the man on the ground.

“This is a waste of time. We need to find Gojo, let’s leave him.”

There was an icy tone in his voice, he stood up tall and began walking away from you. You were taken aback by how callous he was acting in the situation. Frustration bubbled up inside you as you felt helpless in the situation. You focused on the man who had lowered his gun and stared apprehensively at you. You leaned in close and whispered so Geto could not here you say“Put the gun down“.

He immediately dropped the gun on the forest floor. Shocked, he stared at his hand as if it had betrayed him. Quickly, you grabbed the gun, noticing that the gun was light, empty. You sighed with irritation and relief. The relief did not last long before your noticed the pain in your chest and throat. You coughed and rubbed your chest trying to soothe the ache that only grew more painful.

Once your coughing ceased and you were able to take a deep breath, you turned around to Geto. Carefully, you picked words that you felt confident wouldn’t cause the other two any harm. Your voice was rough and uneven as you tried to keep calm and not let your frustration get the best of you.

“We can’t abandon him here. It’s not safe!” Geto clearly had no intention of helping the man, but you couldn’t walk away when someone was in distress.

Geto sucked his teeth and threw you a glance over his shoulder. “I’m not here to save some civilians from themselves. I mean he’s put himself in danger willingly.”

He shoved his hands into his pockets and continued back to the path the two of you have forged before stumbling across the man. His curse bound through the trees to catch up to him and walk alongside him. Desperately you tried to think of something to do or something to say to convince him to change his mind. This version of Geto was alarming, as if he felt nothing. You stared daggers into his back as you watched him walk further away.

Turning your attention back to the man, you saw him stare at you with fear, confused as to what was happening to him. You placed your hand gently on his shoulder and shook him, as if you could shake him out of it. He shoved you off and turned his head away from you before telling you off, pleading for you to leave him alone as Geto had done.

You opened your mouth, about to command him to go home when you felt a chill run down your spine. A sinister aura of cursed energy surged around you and shook you at your core. An overwhelming sense of helplessness and dread washed over you. Through the hum of the trees rustling in the wind, you heard a ominous laugh.

Quickly you looked around, trying to find the spirit that gave off such a menacing presence. Scrambling you shook the man harder until he looked up at you, tears streaming down his face once again.

“Fuck off! What’s your problem? I came out here to join my beautiful wife. You can’t change my mind so just go! There is nothing you can say to make being here without her worthwhile.” He continued to yell and scream in agony.

Above you branches snapped and leaves fell to the ground causing you to look up. Your eyes grew wide as you saw a cured spirit sitting in the tree smiling down at you. It looked like a spirit that had taken a humanoid form, with dark green, mossy skin that helped camouflage it in the leaves. Vines thread around it’s torso like armor, it flicked its hand and the vines moved and weaved around it’s body. Its face was disfigured and twisted in an evil grin. It laughed and mocked you when it noticed you could see it.  

You could feel the power emanating from it, it’s energy causing a chilling feeling to seep into your bones. Goosebumps prickles your skin as you sat in the cold and icy aura that had settled around you. You tried to call out for Geto, to pull the man away to safety, to do anything but you were frozen in place. Fear clawed at your insides and made it impossible for you to get your bearings.

I need to move!

The curse slithered further down the tree and closer to you. Your eyes fixated on the curse as you shook. You were afraid. This curse was not like the others you had face, this one was different. It acted like just like a human, forming facial expressions and smiling at you with glee.

Your heart beat reverberated in your chest so loud you thought the curse would be able to hear it. Stuck in a trance, all you could do was pray that you made it out of this alive.

I can’t die here. Not like this.

“Get up!”

Geto returned to your side and pulled on your arm encouraging you to move. His touch thawed your muscles and gave you the courage to move again. The curse laughed loudly, baring its razor-sharp teeth at you.

It began to sing in a shrill voice, “You should end your life.” It repeated the phrase over and over, making you feel sick to your stomach. The man’s eyes locked onto the cursed spirit. He shook violently and shuffled away from the tree; you could see the desperation in his face.

Geto yelled at you to get up and leave the man before forming a hand sign. In an instant, a powerful curse began to emerge from his shadow. A large worm spirit climbed out of the from the ground and laid dormant at Geto’s feet. You watched in awe as he instructed it to attack. The giant worm climbed up the tree, crawling and chasing after the vengeful spirit. The spirits moved from tree to tree, fighting each other as if it was a dance. There was a rhythmic exchange between attacking and defense, neither one ever gaining any ground over the other. It out you in a trance, unable to tear your eyes away from the chaos.

The sound of Geto screaming your name pulled you back into the moment just in time to notice smaller curses emerging from the trees, lurching towards you. Numerous curses charged Geto as well, causing him to call upon more curses to defend him. You scrambled over to the man, pulling him to his feet. He clamored to his feet, his knees buckling under his weight. A curse hit one of the trees next to you, making it sway and creak overhead. The tree threatened to topple and crash on top of you. You leaned over to the man and harshly grabbed him by the collar, pulling him to you until you were able to speak in his ear.

“Run home!” Cursed energy flowing from your lips and to his ear.  

Without skipping a beat, the man sprinted away into the forest, running so fast you were worried he would exhaust himself too quickly or get hurt. You hoped that the curse would wear off and he would be able to stop running before he collapsed. Although, staying here would have had a worse outcome for him. A weight had been taken off your shoulders as you watched his figure disappear and presumably head toward safety.

The deafening sound of wood splintering filled your ears, as the tree gave way and tumbled over, plummeting to the earth and falling straight towards you. The tree seemed to move in slow motion as you scrambled to get up and run out of the way. Your movements weren’t going to be fast enough, the tree was collapsing faster than you could react. Panic wracked your body, just as you were preparing for the worst, you were ripped out of the way and into the air. 

The tree landed on the forest floor with a loud crash that shook the ground. You watched it rumble and tremble as it settled, its branches and limbs cracking from the impact. The familiar smell of Geto’s cologne relaxed you as you realized you were in his arms again. Beneath you a large bat looking curse kept you and Geto levitating in the air. The motion of riding on the back of this curse made you queezy as it flew down to rest on the ground, far away from the ongoing battle between Geto’s curses and the powerful deity you two had come across.

Once you had landed safely on the ground, Geto grabbed your cheeks between his fingers and forced you to look him in the eyes.

“If you ever risk your life for some stranger again, I’ll make sure you regret it. Now stay out of sight until this is over.”

You fumed at his remark. Who does he think he is to talk to you like that? On the other hand, the way his eyes demanded your submission drove your crazy. Your skin burning up with salacious and impure thoughts. Especially when his silky hair was trickling out of his bun, framing his face, and barely brushing against your skin while he hovered over you.  

You pushed yourself up and out of his reach, hoping some distance would help quell the ache growing in your core. He helped you off the curses back, allowing the curse to fly towards where the fight was ongoing. You watched in amazement as Geto orchestrated such a complex dance with his curses. He commanded them with ease, quickly adapting to anything that was thrown at him. It almost made you envious, how in tune he was with his techniques and how skilled he was in combat. Compared to him, you were weak.

You felt helpless. All you could do is watch as he risked his life and did all the work in defeating this curse. Were you just a burden? A burden to everyone around you, not being able to speak without potentially harming yourself or someone around you. Tears prickled your eyes as the frustration built up, your heart pounding in your chest.

“Hey, don’t cry, I’m here to save the day.” You jumped when you heard Gojo’s voice teasing you. He was suddenly standing right next to you, calm and casual with no worry in the world.

His glasses had been discarded and you were blessed with seeing his naked eyes once again. The blue hues danced and swayed, reminding you of the ocean’s current. The weight of his daze was stifling and intoxicating. Simultaneously, you wanted to stare into his eyes forever, but you didn’t know if you could handle being caught in his gaze for that long.

He raised his arm, his index finger pointing out, forming the shape of a gun. His smile was wicked and manic, you could feel the excitement radiating off him. He aimed for the cursed spirit, carefully following its movements with ease. Geto’s cursed spirits continued to fight but he himself had withdrawn, seemingly stepping out of Gojo’s path.  

“Wanna see something cool?” He peeked over at you, his fingers still locked onto the curse.

You wiped the budding tears away and nodded unsure of what he was about to do.

The corner of his lips turned up more before he focused again on the battle at hand. You felt his cursed energy devouring the space around you, converging into a small red orb at the tip of his finger. It surged and sucked the air from around you. You looked down and saw pebbles and leaves being suspended inches above the ground as if he had altered gravity itself, as if the earth was holding its breath for him. Like this was the eye of the storm and everything was waiting to for the force stored at his finger tips to be unleased.

“Bang.”

It was loud, like a firework but as destructive as a bomb. The earth parted and paved a path for his cursed energy, barreling through any and everything it came in contact with. Your eyes grew wide with awe as you watched the trees and rocks in the path dissipate into dust. Geto had withdrawn his curses just in time to make it out safely but the cursed spirit they had been fighting took the hit head on. It had been oblivious to Gojo’s attack and was destroyed instantly as if it had never existed.

The aftermath of dust and dirt in the air caused you to cough, making it hard to see just how much of the forest he had carved out. You covered your face until the dust settled, only to be met with Gojo’s all too proud smile beaming down on you. 

This was the power of the Gojo clan. It terrified you to know that there’s a single person capable of such destruction and power. As you surveyed the damage, you were thankful that you were on Gojo’s good side.

In the commotion you didn’t notice that Geto had joined you two, standing off to the side.  

“I could have handled it, you didn’t need intervene Toru. That would have been a good curse to have.”

Gojo’s proud smile dropped, he rolled his eyes and reached into his pocket to pull out his glasses.

“Didn’t look like it. You almost got her killed.”

“You’re joking right? She would have been fine if she didn't try to help that...” He bit his tongue.

“We are supposed to help civilians, or did you forget that?”

The two began arguing again, getting closer with each snide comment they threw at each other. Their voices echoed through the trees, cutting through the silent ambiance. You stood out of their way as the argument grew more heated about who was better, about who was stronger, and about who was being more arrogant.

You used this time to look around you. Within a short time, this area of forest had been flattened. Erased. The doubts you had about either of them being the “strongest” vanished too. It didn’t seem possible for people to be capable of such devastation. 

A long, dramatic sigh brought your attention back to the bickering duo. Exasperated, Gojo slid his glasses back into place, before turning his attention to you, ignoring Geto’s rebuttal.

“And you. You just froze. I’m kinda disappointed.” He shrugged his shoulders and stepped closer to you. He stood directly in front of you, casually brushing off some dirt on your shirt.

“You don’t know how strong you could be princess.”

Your skin tingled at the sound of his pet name for you. You looked over at Geto just in time to see him shake his head and scoff, turning his back on you both.

“I’m sorry.” You voice shook as you whispered, avoiding eye contact with them.

“Can we get going? It’s going to get dark soon.” Geto yelled over his shoulder, his voice clipped. He walked back in the direction of your home.

Gojo tapped your nose playfully, before taking your arm and pulling you to follow Geto.  He leaned in close to your ear before whispering to you.

“Don’t worry, stick with me and I’ll make you strong like us. You’ll be my first student, so you better be good for me.”

He gently nipped at your ear causing you to yelp in surprise. Alarmed, Geto turned around to see what had startled you. Gojo smiled innocently and shrugged his shoulders. You bit your lip, once again embarrassed by Gojo’s antics.

“Quit messing with her Satoru.”

The remainder of the walk back was silent, neither of them speaking or acknowledging each other. This experience was supposed to give you some clarity on your cursed technique and skills but it left you feeling inadequate. You reflected on what Gojo had said, considering taking him up on his offer.

It was dusk by the time you got back, beautiful shades of pink and purple kissed the sky as the sun set. It was almost beautiful enough for you to forget everything that had happened but not quite. The man, the curses, Geto and Gojo, it was all too much. Too overwhelning. 

“Why do you look so down?” Geto rested his hand on your shoulder.

Hesitantly, you reached up to squeeze his hand, trying to wordlessly convey that you were alright. He gave you a warm and reassuring smile, seemingly returning to the version of Geto that drew you in. The two of you stayed like that for a moment. Neither of you moved or spoke a word but it comforted you. The look in his eyes told you that despite everything that happened, it was all going to be okay. You were okay.

Your heart skipped when he chuckled softly. His gaze wandered down your body slowly before snapping back to meet your eyes.

Gojo pretended to not to notice the way Geto looked at you or the subtle way you squeeze Geto’s hand. The look in your eyes drove him crazy. His thoughts were muddled with a hundred different ways he was going to punish you the next time he had you all to himself.

You slowly pulled away from Geto before heading into your home, motioning the two inside.

Gojo brushed off his irritation, smiling and joking again. “You just can’t get enough of me huh?”

“We should really be heading back.” Geto politely declining your offer. “I’m sorry about how crazy today ended up being.”

You brushed it off, trying to appear nonchalant. Standing in the doorway, you looked at the two men, amazed that these two men were able to turn your world upside down so quickly. Geto walked up to you and pulled you into a hug.

“You did great, don’t beat yourself up love.” He whispered in your ear before he released you. He held your shoulders and leaned in to kiss your cheek, lingering a little to look over your face. He blessed you with an easy smile before turning and standing next to the familiar path, waiting for Gojo.

Geto watched as Gojo approached you next, pulling you into a big bear hug and lifting you off the ground. You laughed and clung onto Gojo as he twirled you around in his arms before setting you down again. Gojo beamed at you, his lopsided grin cheering you up. He stuffed one of his hands into his pocket while he used the other to move your hair out of your face.

“Think about what I said. With training you may be able to control your cursed energy enough to be able to talk to others again. You wouldn’t have to live out here like a hermit.”

You rolled your eyes in response, ignoring his slight jab. His face turned serious while he brushed his thumb along your cheek.

“You really could be powerful. Just think about it. I’ll be back for your answer soon.”

You nodded, moving to close the door when he pulled away. Gojo was about to leave when he felt Geto’s eyes at his back. Suddenly, he hatched a devious idea. Just before you could shut the door, he stopped you, putting his foot in between the door and its’ frame. Gojo pushed the door open pulled you back out before his hands cupped your cheeks as he placed a rough kiss on your lips. He kissed you passionately and intensely.

Startled, you stood frozen for a second, not expecting this kind of affection from him. You closed your eyes after a second while his soft lips moved with yours. The kiss lit a fire in your core that made you ache for him. Gojo bit your lip and moan softly against your mouth. He loved the feeling of your lips on his and your skin under his fingertips. You made him lose himself, forgetting why he had started the kiss to begin with.

You were enamoured and lost in the moment to notice Geto’s eyes boring into the two of you as he watched the two of you. Your heart sped up and your skin burned as you felt your arousal pool between your legs.  All too soon, he pulled away from you, leaving you craving more.

“See you soon princess.” He winked at you nonchalantly and turned his back to you as he walked away. He was glad you didn’t notice how flushed his cheeks were or that you didn’t feel his growing bulge in his pants. Once his back was to you, he looked over at Geto, and smiled wickedly, shooting him a wink too. Geto huffed and started walking away without him, clearly annoyed.

Gojo laughed to himself while he ran to catch up to him. He hoped that Geto was seething inside. Once he fell into stride with Geto, he slapped him playfully on the back.

“Told you! She’s something else, don’t you think?” He joked with his friend. Geto offered him a nondescriptive hum and continued down the path. Geto ignored him, jealousy crawling under his skin. He remained quiet, lost in thought about you. He thought about your power, your smile and your beautiful soft lips that he should have kissed earlier, before Gojo had.

Part of him hoped you would take Gojo up on his offer to train you, maybe he would be able to see you more. He would help train you himself, spending more time to get to know you. Although, that meant Gojo would be with you all the time, and that didn’t sit well with him.

“She could be really powerful and dangerous.” Gojo droned on, pulling Geto from his thoughts.

Geto scoffed under his breath and looked over at him. “She already is.”

Gojo looked over at him, his playful tune coming to an end as he noticed his friend’s heated stare. He felt the animosity drafting off of him. Gojo looked away, feeling the tension between the two of them grow but also feeling smug that he had succeeded in making his friend so obviously jealous.

He almost felt bad that he had put you in the middle of them but if this was going to turn into another competition, Gojo was going to win.

֍ ֍ ֍ ֍ ֍ ֍ ֍ ֍ ֍ ֍ ֍ ֍ ֍ ֍ ֍ ֍ ֍ ֍֍ ֍ ֍ ֍ ֍ ֍

Thank you for reading! I hope you liked it! Side note: I'm trying to write this during the time that Gojo and Geto were drifting apart, not so buddy buddy. Smut will be coming soon ;)

If you liked this chapter please lmk I love getting comments and likes. Helps me keep going ;)

Reblogs are appreciated and help spread my work.

@purpleguk @shuxjodie @kama-star @creolequeen11210 @fonkymonkeyfriday @coffee-addict-32 @fullsoulpeach @ivartheblessed @satosuguswife @mialexandruh @saiewithakatana @cl-0-vr @starling511

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Gotham : Season 1 Episode 3

Earlier than I thought, here I am watching the third episode of the show.

Honestly, I can't wait to see what happens with Oswald because dude kidnapped a guy to ask for ransom... that he did not get. 🤣😭 I'm still not over the mother not believing it AT ALL.

My silly little crush wants to see Alfred so much! 🙄 I'm also all for having Brucey in his emo phase as I like to call it. I know that's not it, but just the 10 seconds frame of Bruce listening to metal-ish singers while doodling on a piece of paper was 🤌.

Selina is going to save her ass, but that sucks for the other kids though! She is one of the main characters, of course, but the other kids got their ass sent upstate! Don't you forget about that. 🥲

Anyway, here we go.

"There's a war coming..." Aaaaahhhhh! Honestly, starting the episode with Oswald's voice as a 'previously in Gotham' sort of thing, warms my heart. 😌

Gotham's streets... A bus... Oswald Cobblepot in a freaking pullover! Man is gonna be wearing a suit most of the time in the future. Let's enjoy these precious moments of him in casual clothing. 😌 The SMUDGE BLACK MAKEUP!! I know the man's got dark undereyes from exhaustion, but still.

Dude sees : Kids stealing a wallet from someone's back pocket. A cop taking money from an old asian guy. A man stealing a woman's bag. Prostitutes proposing their services to a person in a car... And all that Oswald is thinking is "home, sweet home". 🤣🤣😭😭

Okay, the story starting with a rich guy (Ronald Danzer) who did some shit. He's out on bail and plans on paying for his freedom and sneaking out to escape any problems. Like dude! That is sadly a great representation of how it works in real life too... 🙃

Balloons! And did you see that pig mask!? Foreshadowing I guess!? 😏

Oh MY! Cuffed to a balloon and being pulled up in the air!? That's so cool & terrifying at the same time. 😱

💥 INTRO TITLE 💥

Not the same punch as Oswald stabbing someone in the neck, but we'll settle for it.

Jim! 😍

"No body. We're calling it a murder?" I mean... If the guy went up until there was no oxygen available and died... I suppose it is. 🤷‍♀️ We'll see. Or, if he went that far up and then fell... He probably died from the fall... somewhere. So, it would be a murder.

For once, agreeing with Harvey. The man kinda got "what he deserved". I mean... It's a bit strong... But he probably ruined lots of people's lives so...

Bill Cranston... Switches so fast to being angry to having a hypocritical smile on his face... Dude. X) Okay, so the guy does interviews by beating people down with a little statue? I... 🙃

Hey, that's what I said! Two people killed themselves because Ronald Danzer ruined them...

Oh! Jim bringing up the Mario Pepper case! Ah!

Selina! 😌

Did she really steal Harvey's PEN!? 🤣🤣

Selina "I can see in the dark" Kyle. x) Kitty cat Kat

I don't know why, but Jim and Selina facing eachother with both hands on their own hips just makes me laugh. x)

Selina cuffed to a staircase. Legit... She's using the pen she stole to free herself from the cuffs? Damn! Plus, payoff!

Jim in the sewer. Yuk! Shoes in dirty water.

"Son of a bitch! She was telling the truth." 🤣 (Reminds me of Dean from Supernatural iykyk)

"Oh, Detective!" in Selina's sing-song voice. 🤣🤣 How she throws him back the cuffs in the sewer!

Jim's groan of frustration. 🙄

Fish! Oh no, Lazlo got beaten hard damn. 😮

Fish directly telling Montoya and Allen that Jim killed Oswald. Bitch! 🤣🤣 I mean, great move though. That's technically what happened, although he didn't actually do it. I love when the 'bad guys' tell the truth and it does serve their interests.

"Jim Gordon pulled the trigger, but who gave the order?" Yeay! Mama tryna bring Falcone down!!

"I just want justice for little Oswald." 🤣🤣 I would believe the earth is flat more than that blatant lie! 🤣🤣

Speak of the devil... 🙄

Oswald counting coins... What did he do with the guy he kidnapped? For real, are we ever gonna know? I suppose he killed him, but I would like to get some real answers. 😅

Pocket knife. 😭😭 For food at least...

"Hey, Cobblepot! You're supposed to be dead." Fuck! I wasn't expecting that.

"I'm afraid you have me confused. My name is Dimitri-" Still, the way he talks... 🥵 Plus, did he try to pull off a fake accent? x)

Oh no! Each time Oswald pleads not to be killed is... 😮

"I couldn't stay away. Gotham is my home. It's my destiny. You don't see what's coming. I do. Gotham needs me. I'm its future." Dude sounds like a cult prophet. 🤣😭 He's right though. Foreshadowing at its MAX. x)

Ouch! Achilles tendon! 😮 Killed. By the way, how Oswald manages to get rid of guys who should have physical dominance over him always impresses me.

His teeny-tiny walk! 🐧

"Can I have a tuna sandwich please?" Aw, he can be so soft... when he's been so violent ten seconds before. Bro! 🙃 I love the callback to episode 1. The first time he slits the throat of a stranger to steal his sandwich. The second time, he kills a bad guy, takes his money and actually buys the sandwich. 😌 Can someone draw Ozzie eating a tuna sandwich? 🥹 I just love seeing characters do every day activities. 😌

Waynes' manor! 😍 Okay, I might just like little Brucey ☺️ and crush hard on Alfred. 🙄

Alfred teaching Bruce fencing? Aaww.

"En garde." Aaaahhhh! I know it's the actual term for the sport practice, but each time a character says a french word, I just melt! 🫠 I am french, so just hearing my language makes me somehow proud! And boy... I'm wet. 🤣🤣 Kidding, alright. But it's AWESOME!! Plus, that's Alfred who says it. 🙄🥰

And how is the actor so good at manipulating that cane (used as a replacement for the foil)!? I'm so impressed!

By the way, that scene must have been so much fun for Bruce's actor at the time. 😌

Alfred apologizing to the armor he accidentally hit. 🤣

*Alfred hitting Bruce on the thigh or butt, not sure* "That's gotta hurt." BITCH. 🤣🤣

How did Bruce got the police file of his parents' murder? Okay, he said it wasn't hard. I suppose he just payed them. But how? I don't know if he has access to his money on his own. He's 11. Doesn't he have to get Alfred's authorization or something because he is his legal guardian? Anyway. 🙄

Bruce "If I find a clue, I am" Wayne. 🥲

Jim scrapping mud from his shoes with a paper knife? x)

Montaya straight up asking Jim about him killing Oswald. Not wasting time with innuendos. Effective.

"I didn't kill him." Which is the ACTUAL TRUTH! That's the best part. x) He is both praised and condemned for something that he did not do! I like that SO MUCH! x)

Oswald searching for a job.

"You don't even have the right shoes." Him directly looking down behind at one of the staff's shoes and grinning evilly... Is he planning on killing for SHOES now!? 🙃🙃

By the way "Here, you're on your feet all day." Me, thinking about his bad leg. 🥲

Jim and Harvey arguing about the whole situation of the Waynes' murder...

"For the last time Gordon, let it go."

"Or what? Am I gonna be the next person taken out to the pier to get a bullet in the head?"

AH! 🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥

OSWALD!! You actually really... The shoes. 😭😭

"What size are your shoes?" Blabla "What a coincidence!" 😭😭 His laugh. 😭😭

I CANNOT.

That reinforces the feeling that I have about the fisherman's sandwich scene... That was not Oswald's first murder... Surely not... And if it was... Dude's taking a long way down... 😭🙃

Right now, I'm just thinking about Oswald telling his story to Edward, like the very first steps he took into his villain career... That would be something. 🤣😭

The interview.

Oh, 4 balloons... Who are gonna be the three other supposed-to-be victims then? 🤔

"47$?" - "You're a disgrace to drug dealers." Okay, chuckled a bit. 🙄🙃

Cranston!? OMG, I did not even recognise the guy. 😱 Honestly... I don't really mind... We saw him once... But I don't think he really deserved the balloon thing... Man... That's tough...

Attached by the ankle is worse though.

In the night with a lot less witnesses too!

ALFRED! 😍😍 No, I won't shut up.

Bruce reading the newspaper. Yeah, totally doing that at 11. 🙃

Bruce, GIMME YOUR BREAKFAST! 😋 The lil' flower though. PLEASE!

"What's the new program? Trying to see how long you can go without eating anything? If that's the case I should save myself the trouble of making it." 🔥 DAMN! 🔥 I love how he doesn't miss a moment to shoot! x) By the way, Alfred... You can make breakfast for me. 🙄 Breakfast in bed? Breakfast in your bed... in OUR bed... 🙄

Alfred is trying SO HARD. 🥲😭

Gun holder, the gun, the tie, Jim's gaze straight into the camera aaaahhhh!! 😍 Man's going into battle!

Barbara! 🥰

"[newspaper talk] It says he killed a cop. You're not in danger, are you?" GIRL! Your man is a cop... in GOTHAM. He is in danger every second of his life!

"Everyone has to matter or nobody matters." -Jim Gordon. That did something to my heart. 💔❤️‍🩹

Barbara calling Jim a "hero" because he caught Mario Pepper for the Waynes' murder... That hits hard...

Jim talking about the fact that the balloon man's targets are dirty public figures... And Harvey going "Basically any elected official should stay indoors." is so legit. 😭😭

"Listen, one thing I know is how to find someone." Harvey chatting with prostitutes... I mean, he's not wrong! They can have a lot of informations. Tough job it is! Then he beats a guy down... Typical Harvey. 😅 Stopping to get food. TYPICAL HARVEY! That was the fastest summary of his character. x)

The SHOES. 😭😭 Oswald...

Him realising that he's been hired in a Mob boss owned restaurant! 🤣🤣 His FACE. 🤣🤣 Sorry Ozzie, but you deserve it a bit. "Don Maroni!"

"Great opportunity indeed." Oswald... I can't with him. x)

Harvey got so much informations about the guy they're searching for... Okay, I have to admit that's a damn skill! Respect.

DAMN! Harvey 'woman-handled', thrown around. I appreciate that. Sorry. 🙄

Lazlo being actually worried about Fish is so cute. 🥺

What!? Bitch is getting rid of some girl I didn't understand... AND Lazlo. I... 😭

Barbara. Oh hi Montoya!

Montoya HAS THE KEY!? DAMN!!

OMG yeah, Barbare is smoking... weed I suppose. Okay okay... 🤔

Talking about Jim...

"When we were together I did lie to you." I KNEW IT!! Former lovers! Aaaaahhhh

She's talking about being sober for a year etc... What she did blabla... What did Montoya DO!? 😮

Failed attempt at a kiss. I saw that coming. RIP.

Barbara being with another person (Jim) who might also be lying to her... The pattern is repeating itself... Girl must be feeling so down.

OMG the balloons are gonna pop? It's gonna rain bodies? 😭😭 Imagine you're going about your day and then a dead body falls from the sky... 😨

Totally what happened. The woman who died though. RIP for real... 🙏

A church guy being the third victim? Not surprised... 😅🙃

Maroni talking about Arkham!! I'm so excited!!

Obviously, Oswald listening in the background...

New name : Paolo. He's really trying, but he gets it wrong. x)

He's lying about being Italian on his mother's side, "the side that he claims", but the truth is that he actually does love his mother. Half lies. x)

Maroni just gave him money out of the blue?

The little talk about starting from nothing and making yourself by working hard etc... FORESHADOWING!! 😌

"Gotham is the city of opportunity." Hum... Shouldn't it be 'Gotham is the city of crimes'? x)

"Honestly sir, I didn't hear anything at all." "Atta boy." YES!! That's actually the ONLY way to react when you are asked if you heard ANYTHING! 😌

"Go take care of your mother, Paolo." That would be so sweet... but you know... x)

The walk! I like the fact that even when we just see his upper body, Oswald's actor actually always does the walk! I mean, that's part of the character so you HAVE to do it, but like, you notice it, you actually do notice it, and I love that about him! 🥰🐧

The guy actually hiding in the former juvi facility. Meh, can't be smart about everything. Gotta catch the guy 9 minutes before the end of the episode ya know. x)

Is it a TRAP!? Like for Harvey, or Gordon? 😮

Oops. Harvey's been caught.

Harvey pleading his case to the killer saying that he's thankful, that he's doing them a favor. Great defence. 🤣🤣

Oh my God... The killer's talk though... He's so right... Public figures almost never pay for their crimes... So he did justice himself... I feel that man...

Jim's conflicted because he knows that the man's right...

FUCK!! The whole man's speech!! This is the premise of Jim's morality path... Damn it!

NNNNNOOOO! Harvey cuffing the guy to the balloon was a fucked up move! Jim grabbing the man! Please I hoped he would, but damn he's flying in the air with him now. 😭😭

Jim didn't want to let go and begged (ordered?) Harvey to shoot the balloon instead! THANK GOD! Jim, you're doing so good there. I know you're gonna go somehow dark later, but for now... freaking thank you!

The landing on the top of the pickup must have hurt though. 😅

Falcone!!

OMG Natalia was Falcone's "girl"... 😮 That's the one Fish ordered to get into an "accident". 😭

Arkham again... Damn.

Btw, Fish's makeup. 🤌

Damn. Who's the guy's last target?

Bruce's "He killed people too. That made him a criminal." Okay, let me get this straight. I don't condone murder, but I get the idea that sometime you need to be a bad guy to do good. Imagine if killing that guy now would prevent a hundred innocent people to be killed. Killing is not something right to do, but in that context, you kill one to save the others, you know? What I mean is... It's a tough subject, but if killing one person saves a lot of others... And I mean one actual bad person against kind of good people... and I don't really mean "good people", just people who actually did not do terrible things, you know. I don't even know if I would be capable of doing something like that, but the self righteous belief that killing is bad in every context... I don't think it's true. Anyway.

Alfred with his APRON. 🫠 Make me dinner too. 🥰 Please. 🙄🥰

Alfred witty remarks. x)

Bruce is EATING, finally dude.

Jim, home, must be full of bruises, damn. The man struggles to sit down. He didn't break a bone because it's a tv show, hum. 🙄

Barbara concerned again. 🥲

Seeing Jim's face... It's like he's really been 'moved' by the balloon man's speech. It's like an electroshock. I feel like he's about to tell Barbara about Oswald. 🤔 (he did not, oops)

"I want you to know that you can tell me anything." BRO! She's giving you a chance to come clean. I mean, technically you are clean, but ya know.

"This city's sick. Sick in a way I hadn't realised." For real though. 🙃 Harvey told you in the first episode. 🙃

"Doesn't matter" That's the 'last target'? Disappointing, but I get it. That also genius 'cause basically the guy only had 4 balloons, but there's way more people that would 'need' to be cuffed to it...

Jim's speech on people, justice, the law... 👌

Barbara wants to believes him so bad! Girl's crying!

OOOOHHHH, the knock knock knocking... Tell me... I think I saw that... That's him right? HIM!?

OSWALD!! 🎉 In a SUIT!! I told YOU!! (Btw, did he buy a new suit with the money Maroni gave him ? Or did he take his suit to dry-cleaning to get rid of the blood stains? Just wondering 🤔) He wanted to look good for Jim. 🙄 Let me fantasize. x)

"Hello, James. *huffs* Old friend." AAAAHHHH!!

He's already calling him 'old friend'. 🙃🙃🙃🙃 I guess throwing you into the water, instead of shooting you, makes him somehow closer to a friend than an enemy, but... 🤣🤣😭😭 The AUDACITY!! x)

Jim's face. Oswald's smile. AH!

Jim had a freaking day... and it's not over. 😭

FUCKING HELL. MY GOD. I... AWESOME.

I don't even know what to say... Just... My brain's not working anymore...

[Okay, a tiny bit disappointed that we didn't see Edward this time, but I know there is going to be a lot of him in the future. So that makes up for it.]

1. Alfred did not say "bloody", not even once, in the whole damn episode!! 😮 I'm utterly disappointed!! 😔 But I still like him, of course. 🙄🥰

Late additions, two hours later, when my brain decides to function again :

Like, comment, loose your shit with me... It's your choice!!

2. Barbara will at least be relieved that her boyfriend is NOT a liar (not really yk) nor a murderer. Because here he is : Oswald Cobblepot, flesh and blood!! 😌

3. The fact that Barbara is BI, BI, BI! 🎶

Looking forward to the next episode!! 🫶

[stargazerlion]

Ok its late at night again so Im waxing vulnerable again. gonna put a break since its really long and i dont want to clog anyones feed, theres nothing nsfw or overly negative i hope. i do get pretty vulnerable but the end message is positive and happy and everything works out in the end.

Ive always had a lot of anxiety about keeping friendships. I moved every 3-4 years as a kid, and changed schools a lot, and didnt even have a cell phone until middle school (and even then, a lot of my friends didnt until almost COVID) so I had no way of really staying in touch (with landlines being less and less common). I didnt form a lot of deep bonds until covid. during covid, since we had a discord server for dnd, which eventually branched off into other dnd servers and some social ones, we were able to stay in touch more easily than a whatsapp group chat. i still had anxiety about my friends. i was newly planted in a new neighborhood, only knowing a few friends who i could see irl reguarly (see covid), and i was bitter and argumentative at the time so conflicts arose from time to time. There were highs and lows. Somehow, despite everything, Im still good friends with a few of them, and with several more who werent on the orignial group but joined the peripheral ones. This is friend group 1.

The next few years as lockdown ended didnt fare much better for my social anxiety. I had ridiculously long school hours with no phone access, keeping me out of the loop most of the day, at a new school i had no friends in. Nonetheless, group 1 made time and space for me, being chill with me butting into conversations several hours later and scheduling dnd in the late evening so i could join. The next year, I was in a different school. Here, the problem was more nuanced: while i still had friend group 1, we were now doing a lot more work across a lot of different schools, so i couldnt rely on it as much for social time. This school had a couple of the people from friend group 1, but outside of that, there were a lot of cliques. some i got to the edge of but was never able to make it in. The good news is that the people in these cliques were variable: while the general feel i got was not being wanted, there were some people in these groups who genuinely were welcoming-call these group 2, even though at the time, and still to a certain extent nowadays, arent a closed set. tbh none of the groups are, theyre just ways for me to categorize these things. But, i was blind to these peoples acceptance of me at the time, and as 10th grade moved into 11th and i realized i was an outcast, i got more and more pessimistic and more and more outcast. i would say 11th and 12th grade were the worst for my anxiety. i felt i had few good friends, and those i did were prone to deciding they didnt want to be around me anymore at any moment (which to be fair did happen once, which sucked). im not going to go to in detail b/c the arc of this post is positive and also i dont want to.

I have in my bio that i worked a formative half year at a coin shop. thats very true, although little of it has to do with my actual position. What it gave me was a space to recover from the emotional wreck high school left me in. High school was a high pressure social environment-there were a lot of rumors running at any given moment, no private spaces, and social pressure to be constantly socializing, which i wasnt able to do b/c i had like 3 friends. This job i did not have to do any of that. no expectations to be social or make friends b/c i was the only worker under 40. it allowed me to stop feeling so bad about not being able to keep up with the social demands of high school. it also gave me space to interact with my friends outside of dnd and school. more free time, money, and mobility meant things like in person events like bday parties (something which i could never do until my friends stopped going to sleepaway camp, and always felt left out on) or in person dnd, going hiking with a friend, anime night, knitting lessons, craft meetups, a schmorgesbourg (idk how to spell it) of different activities. now, "friendship" wasnt an activity i had to engage in constantly or be an outcast, it could happen at a comfortable time, place, rate, and intensity. great environment. of course, there were still anxieties, increasing levels of vulnverability means more room for conflicts and hurt feelings, and since my autism makes it hard for me to follow social cues i often only realize this afterthe damage has been done. and i still felt a bit isolated, but less so than before. now i had agency, and that was key.

College. im there now. there was a lot of anxiety going into college. long distance friendships are hard work to maintain, and i didnt know how i was going to make new friends. and tbh, i really struggled. all of fall and a good part of winter was rough, trying to figure out what relations with my friends would look like, both back home, where ppl were often hard to contact or busy, and in college, where i was meeting a bunch of nervous freshmen who also often had social issues or other circumstances. but over time, i built up groups 3 and 4, on campus. were a lot farther than 1 and 2, but thats ok, we havent known each other as long.

So now its spring. the floor one of my friends in group 4 is on has a tight-knit culture and usually eat at a particular table, when this friend is there i will sometimes join in to listen to the drama. one day, the friend was not there and the table was mostly full, so i decided even though im a known face to not sit there, i didnt really feel like socializing anyways. lo and behold, the leader of the group comes up to me, specifically me, and invites me to the table, if i am so inclined. i dont think i can convey how much that touched me. core to my anxiety on friendships are two things, impermanence (moving, drifting apart, etc) and inadequacy (being a downer, not being commensurately nice, etc). The first has largely been solved, i now have a lot of experience with digital and long distance friendships. the second is harder b/c i have a pretty big inferiority complex, so my default assumption is that im imposing. so to be told, by a FRIEND OF A FRIEND, not even just a friend, that I, specifically, am wanted and invited...it just pulled at my heartstrings so much.

So, things are good. I have a lot of friends and I love them all dearly. and there are some ive missed talking about: the Children of the Whales fandom, my tumblr circle, the cute 4th year from Spanish class, and a handful of other people who dont fit into any of the particular groups. and i feel...good! and happy! and content! im sure next time its overcast for 3 days in a row some of the anxieties will return, im still working on things and expect i will be for a long time. but to know i have so many friends and i love them and they love me, the effort of years and years of struggles and harshly learned skills and frienships forged in crucibles of pandemic or mutual dissatisfaction with an environment...its all paid off in the end, and i feel so full of warm fuzzies.

Ok im going to bed now i have class in 5 hours byeeeeee

[milky-rozen]

Why is Horus "exactly" with Seth?

———

What is your attitude to the "Deity of the Duat"?

Heya Anon!

So, if we're speaking about them as characters in my comic, I'd say that it's very complicated. I'm still defining their relationship as they haven't met yet officially, and it's going to take a long while before that can even happen lol

But what I can say is that Horus is both his greatest enemy and his most precious ally at the same time. It's like the other side of the coin to Seth: so similar he can be the only one who can trust and understand him, and yet so different he can't help sheathing his sword against him when he feels like he's being nothing but an obstacle to his plans.

So, basically, I'd say that it really depends on the circumstances under which these two interact. If they're not fighting or they're not forced to fight against each other, they can get along pretty well and be friends. So, in a nutshell, mythologically speaking, I'd say he would be something like his "other half" in a possible dyad.

As for your other question, if you're referring to Tenicola's project (I'm sorry I can't remember the name of the project, if I got your question wrong, I'm sorry ahah I suck at remembering names) I discovered their work last year and I think it's amazing! They did an astonishing work, although I'm not sure if they're still working on it, and it's such a pity bc the project itself is so cool and inspiring!

[joshuadunshua]

[Image ID: a cropped image of an excerpt from “The Will to Change” by bell hooks. Various spots are highlighted in different colors. Beginning from the first full sentence, the paragraph reads, “He was not interested in forgiving him or understanding the circumstances that had shaped and influenced his dad’s life, either in his childhood or in his working life as a military man.” The following paragraph reads, “In the early years of our relationship he was extremely critical of male domination of women and children. Although he did not use the word ‘patriarchy,’ he understood its meaning and he opposed it. His gentle, quiet manner often led folks to ignore him, counting him among the weak and the powerless. By the age of thirty he began to assume a more macho persona, embracing the dominator model that he had once critiqued. Donning the mantle of patriarch, he gained greater respect and visibility. More women were drawn to him. He was noticed more in public spheres. His criticism of male domination ceased. And indeed he begin to mouth patriarchal rhetoric, saying the kind of sexist stuff that would have appalled him in the past.” The last paragraph is cut off, the top which is visible reads, “These changes in his thinking and behavior were triggered by his desire to be accepted and affirmed in a patriarchal workplace and rationalized by his desire to get ahead. His story is not unusual.” End image ID]

Trans mascs that “speak out” against transandrophobia/anti-transmasculinity/transmisandry/antimasculism/whatever word of the month they’ve forced us to coin, I need you to see yourself in this. This is you. This is you leaning into the patriarchal role of “protectors of the poor weak permanently victimized women,” this is you leaning into the patriarchal role of “ignore your pain, ignore your emotional distress, ignore your psychological needs, stuff it deep down inside and suck it up.” This is you enforcing patriarchal (and therefore also white supremacist) attitudes about gender. This is you learning to shift how you operate under the “logic” of a white supremacist, capitalist patriarchal system so that you can get and maintain access to what little scraps of privilege the system will give you for your conformity.

You cannot apply “logic” to oppressions—it is not a math equation you can solve for. It is not internally consistent.

(And when I say logic, I mean formal logic, I mean mathematical logic, I mean specifically Western conceptualizations of logic.)

You can’t simply state that “men don’t face oppression for being men because that then logically means [something untrue about women’s oppression] would be the case and it’s not.” Oppression is inherently illogical. To assume it operates on a truly definable and fully understandable logic is to suggest there’s a “good” reason for its existence. Which if you examine that for just a moment, you find it also then suggests that there is truth behind how oppression works. Or rather, that oppressed people did some thing or are some way that deserves oppression in response.

White supremacy doesn’t operate on any logical basis. Patriarchy doesn’t operate on any logical basis. They weren’t constructed to be logical, they were hardly “constructed” at all. They came about specifically to uphold and maintain powerful people’s access to power. To call the systems “constructed” is almost to give people too much credit.

Perhaps at one point “white supremacy” was a very specific spark in the mind of quite a number of powerful fair skinned Western Europeans, (though many would understandably point out that white supremacy existed well before it was made explicit), but to suggest that white supremacy as it exists now, as a self-perpetuating system that is able to chug away, an engine for capitalism built and sustained on the exploitation and slaveability of Black bodies, was consciously and carefully designed to operate only within specific bounds that we can define and uncover? That’s trying to use the master’s tools to dismantle the master’s house.

Trying to equate the operation of white supremacy with patriarchy, or any system of oppression with any other system of oppression (though you really do see this most often with people equating racism with sexism) similarly does not work because they are not organized logically. They are not separable entities, either. It is true that there are common elements to different oppressions (see: Suzanne Pharr, bell hooks, Paulo Freire) and it is true that the different systems are interlocked and work together to hold it all up (see: Audre Lorde, Patricia Hill Collins, Andrea Smith) and it is true that they impact people at different intersections of oppressive systems uniquely and dynamically (see: Kimberlé Crenshaw, Jennifer Nash, Bonnie Thornton Dill & Ruth Enid Zambrana) and the systems themselves intersect and interact in different ways to produce unique effects which are dynamic across time and space and context (see: Cathy J. Cohen, Patricia Hill Collins, Rita Kaur Dhamoon).

At the end of the day, too, this whole conversation is also excruciatingly Western-centric, and most often Americentric. The white trans mascs (and any other white queers) decrying the concept that men could ever be oppressed for their being men, that men’s experiences of oppression could ever be shaped by their manhood (or their proximity to it), betray their ignorance to men’s experiences outside of their specific version of Western patriarchy. It betrays their understanding of patriarchy, white supremacy, and feminism as having been wholly informed by white radical feminists who appropriate the language of Black feminism while maintaining essentialist perspectives that reify and protect the same patriarchy they want to critique. As though patriarchy is just about men holding power over women and not also about men holding power over other men, not also about women’s complicity in maintaining and perpetuating it, not also about Western nations holding power over the Global South, not also about kinship organization, not about nationalism, not about colonialism, not about international and transnational politics, not about capitalist globalization.

I suppose this turned into something much bigger than it was originally meant to be, but I have fucking had it. I am fed up with white trans mascs from Western countries whose understanding of feminism is stalled at the stage where they’ve learned that white neoliberal feminism is bad because it’s not anticapitalist or intersectional enough but they haven’t actually learned what the fuck that criticism means because they think or behave as though “intersectional” is just another word for “diverse,” which they also maintain a neoliberal understanding of. I am also fucking heartbroken for all the trans mascs who are willing to lean into this patriarchal role where they close off their own emotions and dismiss their own problems and downplay the reality of being a transgender person at their particular intersection all because they’ve been convinced that men’s problems aren’t real problems, that the oppression they experience because they are transmasculine people is nothing to do with their masculinity or association with or proximity to (and subsequent distance from) manhood.

To claim that there is nothing unique about transmasculine experiences of oppression at the intersection of trans identity and gender is to willfully ignore reality in quite the same way that transphobes do when what they protest is “trans ideology.” Trans people will exist whether you personally believe our gender claims or not, right? So to fail to incorporate us into your reality is to have the temper tantrum of a toddler all because the world and its people aren’t as simple and uniform as you wanted them to be. Similarly, transmasculine people will experience oppression at this intersection regardless of what you want to call it, but to demand that we capitulate to language that flattens our experiences along the lines of either being transgender (it’s literally just transphobia) or our proximity to womanhood (it’s literally just misogyny), or even the two together but-not-really (it’s transphobia and misogyny but it’s not because of your proximity to manhood), is to suggest that there is nothing unique about our experiences of transphobia and misogyny as transmasculine people. Is to suggest that unless and until we are perceived as men by society, our experiences with oppression and penalization (and privilege by this logic, but notably not in practice) are indistinguishable from those of cisgender women and there is no value in discussing, dissecting, naming, or otherwise acknowledging anything transmasculine people experience—and then on the flip side, when society does perceive us as men, suddenly our experiences with oppression and penalization (and privilege by this logic, but notably not in practice) are indistinguishable from those of cisgender men, and so there is no value in discussing, dissecting, naming, or otherwise acknowledging anything transmasculine people experience.

We’re either basically cis women or basically cis men, whichever is more convenient and makes it easier to disregard us in the moment.