#altho personally while it could come across as mean i feel like it does also paint a better picture of him too

[gibbearish]

sorry to derail a bit but i just reread the article and-

"Was James’s behavior an open secret among YouTubers? How much was unearthed for the first time in your video? I’m thinking of Folding Ideas’ Twitter thread about James’s expensive equipment.

There’s a streaming service called Nebula which I’m on, and James wanted to be on it violently. So much so that he was deliberately asking followers on his Discord, “I am once again asking you to email Nebula to insist I get on the platform.” Then he started claiming Nebula didn’t support queer people as a result of not letting him on, and accused them of blacklisting him, which was just not the case. He just saw a podcast by one of Nebula’s creators saying that they blacklist people if they’re really annoying, and then assumed that that must be him because he knows he’s been annoying; he had started a lot of fights with various YouTubers who were queer and on Nebula. When that happened, a lot of people started going, Hold on, what is this guy’s deal?"

and

"You have 25 extra minutes of material on Iilluminaughtii on your second YouTube channel. What else did you leave on the cutting-room floor?

[skipping over stuff abt internet historian here]

I have so many little mini-tangents about James that I cut out just because I thought if I talk about this, I feel like I’m just being mean. Kat felt very strongly about the misogyny section. Initially, I thought it should be a smaller aside, but as we kept looking, we realized this was a pattern of behavior that needs to be talked about. There’s a lot of other stuff we worried was poisoning the well. At the beginning of that section, I talked about how I’ve always had trouble watching his videos because they’re full of mistakes, and also he used to aggressively promote himself at me. He followed me on Twitter and linked me all of his videos. And then eventually when I didn’t respond, he unfollowed me. It’s very strange, and I decided not to talk about that. Even when you’re dealing with a vile person, if you talk about it wrong, you come across as vindictive, and I genuinely have no vendetta against James."

i just. cannot with this, every new thing i learn about james makes my brain break a little more. he wanted in the Cool Respected Queer Youtuber Club sososo bad that he was regularly bothering them to pay attention to him and then threw fits when they didnt. incredible

"I love the joke of “people love to say be gay, do crime” until you actually do it. We’ve entered a new era of complicated queer characters. It was difficult to be gay and complicated before, so I appreciate that we live in an era where you can be a gay person and a criminal. That’s a new tack."

Mr. Bomberguy is extremely based as usual.

[genderjester]

i liked tma s5 actually

[i wrote so much in the tags fhrhfjdj it's mostly just me venting about a pet peeve but it's good i feel better now sometimes u need to get something off ur chest and then it's all good <3]

[normal-thoughts-official]

I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOUR BEAUTY AND THE BEAST IDEA. But may I also propose: Magnus cursed from a young age (probably bc of Asmodeus) that anyone who touches him is hurt by a blast of magic he can't control. (This may result in his mother's death). He locks himself away of his own will. Alec teaches then that it's fear that makes him lash out. Featuring: touch starved Magnus.

this idea is GENIUS actually and i love it. tbh me and my friend have a similar idea that we talk to each other about (lol) but it isn't a B&B thing, its more of an adventure AU. anyway, lets go!

so in this universe i guess magnus banished asmodeus like in the original sh verse but asmodeus cursed him with the "everyone you touch will be in indescribable pain" thing. maybe just as revenge, maybe to try and use it as bargaining chip because okay magnus, is it freedom that u want? u want to be able to have ur own friends and ur own life? fine. get me back, and ill leave u alone, and ull be free to have friends again. if not, ull be still isolated just like before. so is it gonna be win-win, or lose-lose?

but magnus doesn't budge because he knows that if he lets asmodeus free things will only get worse not only for him, but for the whole world. he is too dangerous to be out there. so, magnus resigns to his fate

and i guess in this version he wouldnt have a lot of close friends because he had been with asmodeus his whole life before he was cursed, so he was just. alone in his self-imposed isolation with no one to talk to. maybe he enchants the furniture so they gain sentience but they can't really feel pain, so at least he has someone to talk to. god im so fucking sad already

so is the furniture his friends in canon? im not entirely sure how i feel about that but also the idea of ragnor as that clock from the original movie is great. thats my most important thought on the subject ngl

btw its 4 degrees Celsius in here so im typing with gloves on so ull have to excuse my typos i am a mere brazilian and i want death

anyway okay so i guess his friends are like pieces of furniture that he spelled into sentience and they aren't his servants or anything cuz that's gross but they just like, hang out. wow im actually managing to type pretty well all things considered

so at least magnus has people to talk to but he's still touch starved because you know... a clock can't hug you and that'd just be weird. maybe them becoming sentient was an accident? lmao like magnus just wanted to automate some functions like having the clock talk to tell him the time or something and it turned out that they became sentient. possibly his magic is a little fucky because of the curse so that's why that happened? or maybe he just is way more powerful than he realizes and we all know he invented the spells he used to try and automate the things anyway. but if he gets people to talk to, well, he's not complaining

im focusing too much on this. anyway. id also like to note that im making rapha the cook/stove thing because i mean, come on. it's right there

and ok i guess alec comes into this because he uhhhhhh no u know i might go with that izzy thing. so izzy ran away from home because of maryse's bullshit and alec was sent to bring her back. so he was going after her but in the middle of the path there was the whole wolf attack thing that scared off his horse and LUCKILY magnus' house/tower/whatever was right next!!! so of course they take alec and his horse in but also WHOOPS there's a huge snowstorm that lasts for days (par the course for where magnus lives, actually. he DID want somewhere people would avoid. but also i think maybe his magic being fucky has something to do with it) so i guess alec is stuck at magnus' for the foreseeable future

which is HELL for magnus because he is terrified out of his mind that they will accidentally touch and alec will be hurt. and like.... his Constant Crave For Touch is already bad on a regular day, but having someone who could actually hug him in theory just makes it worse, you know? he hasn't interacted with other human beings in so long, just having one there is enough to make his need for touch almost unbearable and just... completely constant. it's hell

so magnus is scared, which means that he keeps to himself. so he tells alec not to go into his room, he tries not to eat at the same time, and other stuff like that, bUT his friends keep sabotaging his plans because they want him to have another friend, jesus christ!! (rapha being like "come on now magnus, you don't want my soup to get cold, do you? i'll be deeply offended. i guess you have no choice but to eat with alec". so magnus goes but the first thing he does is magic his regular table into a gigantic rectangular table with 41908410 seats and seat on on the side opposite to alec. alec just sighs

so like he's constantly coming across as rude because he is trying to avoid alec, alec just doesn't know why

but alec is also a stubborn bitch who goes stir crazy and refuses to just sit around isolated doing nothing while they wait for the stupid storm to finally be over so he can go get his sister. and magnus saved his life, so it's the least he can do to repay him in some way. besides, this is what, the first time that he's been completely away from his mom? for such a long time too? and he's finding that he feels... weirdly free and just relieved and he doesn't want to waste that opportunity with standing idly around alone all day. he had enough of that at home, thank you very much

besides yeah magnus is being rude but alec is used to straight up assholes and abusers (jace. i'm talking about jace. also maryse ofc but mostly jace) and magnus is not that. in fact he makes very polite conversation and is actually pretty fun during dinner, all things considered. he's just.... super private, i guess

AND magnus' friends are all being a nightmare with the making them interact so you know. they end up interacting. and alec makes it a point to help him take care of his house because it is a certified Depression Lair™. magnus can take care of it magically but it's like... so dark and almost suffocating at times and there is stuff like bad painting and piping problems that he never bothered to fix because it isn't affecting the functionality too much but it DOES makes life harder and alec "everything must be at 100% always" lightwood is not here for it so for a few days they are working on fixing the house and... magnus actually feels a lot better when the place has actual sunlight and looks inviting and like a home, he has to admit. when he says that to alec it might be the first time he's given him a real smile and man, is alec smitten

sidenote i guess this means that magnus doesn't exactly... dress well in this au lmaoo i mean it makes sense too because canonically magnus uses dressing up as a way to convey an image of power and untouchability and he doesn't really need that in this AU since he is completely isolated. so i guess he is a bit more like twi magnus - bare-faced and wearing comfortable clothes and the like. this isn't a twi au i'm just saying that it makes more sense for him to dress like that in that context

anyway. after the whole house fixing thing, they officially become friends. it turns out that alec also knows a bit about what it's like to feel isolated and touch-starved (altho he's always had izzy to help in that department, but still) and also what crappy parents are like. magnus shows alec his little mirror that he's enchanted to be able to show him anything he wants and how he uses it to be able to see all the places in the world he'd like to visit - he loves people, he loves culture, and sometimes it's all he can do to watch what's going on in Mumbai and it makes him feel a little better, so, he does that. he also admits that sometimes he catches on some drama happening and uses the mirror to see the people involved and make sure they are okay. kinda like a soap opera of his own but he has the means to interfere and help because of magic, so he will have someone who's struggling with money suddenly find hidden cash or have an "unknown dead relative" give them a lot of money in their will, or something like that. and if he also watches some of their personal drama that unfolds, well. he is lonely and it's not hurting anyone

but magnus doesn't tell him about the curse, and he still makes sure to keep his distance. it stings a little to alec, but it hurts magnus the most because fuck, maybe he just desperately needs someone who will give him the time of day, but he likes this guy and that only makes it harder to keep his distance. he makes it a point to always be at at least two arms length from alec, which alec thankfully respects and doesn't try to get him to breach, but. shit. it's still so hard to not want to just rest his head on his shoulder or get a hug or even fucking touch pinkies like stupid children and he can't. alec even once jokingly suggests that they have a ball since magnus doesn't know how to dance and magnus is actually excited for a second before he remembers that he can't, it would have to mean that alec touches him, and he can't

someone - maybe ragnor - even suggests that maybe he could try gloves and heavy clothing so alec isn't really touching him but magnus refuses to try because he doesn't want to risk it not working and alec getting hurt, because he'd never forgive himself. besides, getting a taste would only make it hurt more. he can't. he can't

but it's alright because at least he has some human company - he loves his friends, he does, fiercely, but it's different when they kind of have no choice but to be with him and also are enchanted creatures. he doesn't even know if they aren't nice to him just because he enchanted them into life, even tho to be fair if he had a choice ragnor wouldn't be that grouchy - and alec makes him laugh and gets him and helped make his place feel more like home, a little bit. and he can pretend that he feels the warmth from alec's body when they are sitting by the fire and feed these crumbs to his desperate need for touch and company

and then the snowstorm ends and it's time for alec to go

honestly, alec himself is kind of heartbroken, but- he loves his sister, and he can't just leave her alone in god knows where, even if he dreads the thought of coming back home now that he's been away from his family for so long. but magnus doesn't want to keep him, and doesn't want alec to feel pity for him, so he's all but pushing alec out of the door (not literally, of course. he can't do that, it would mean touching him) all "go, go, you never know when another storm might start. go see your sister. take my mirror, you can find her more easy". and alec's all "but it's been the only thing-" and magnus waves him off, of course, all "i can always make myself another one. besides, you'll have something to remember me by. now go"

so.... alec goes

and hooo boy magnus is heartbroken and a mess because even tho he knew how much having someone else there helped he had almost forgotten what it was like to be the only human in the house. he just feels extra lonely and even kind of bad about it because hey, his friends are there - not that they begrudge him for it, of course. it's not like they don't also hope for the chance to get out of the house and do other things, but well. they can't. so they understand him. and they know how awful he's feeling right then, but what can they do?

meanwhile alec finds izzy pretty quickly - she's living with this one insufferable villager named clary that alec absolutely can't stand, but- she's happy. and she doesn't want to come back, which alec expected, but he finds that he can't actually insist for her to come back. how could he, when he himself doesn't want to go?

and izzy insists that he stays with her - there's no reason for him to come back. they can stay in the village, and work, and build a life for themselves. alec is the only thing she's been missing ever since she left, and in here the both of them can actually be happy. and do it together, like they're meant to

and when he first gets into the village is the first time since izzy ran away that he was hugged and fuck, it's hard to say no to her

but also... he misses magnus already

and he doesn't know if he can just stay and leave him behind

and of course izzy is like "who is magnus?" so alec tells her the story, how he was attacked by wolves and rescued by this house that miraculously was in the middle of the single most inhospitable placealec had ever seen in his life. and the kind but wary stranger who always keeps his distance but seems so eager for connection, who made alec feel welcome and laugh and feel like he built a life for himself there

and clary tells him that she's heard of the story, but she never knew it was more than a legend - no one really remembers what happened. some say that magnus made a sacrifice to rid the village of a demon, and it turned him into a beast, forever locked in his castle. some say that he himself is the demon, and it's the tower that's containing him and keeping the village safe. some even say that he died battling the demon, and it's his ghost that keeps watch on the tower

she wants alec to explain which one is true, but it's all alec can say that none of these are right and he knows nothing because magnus never told him. all alec knows is that he doesn't want to leave magnus behind

and clary is like... well, if he's not a demon or a ghost, maybe we could bring him to the village too. he has magic, right? he could bring the tower closer. and maybe the other villagers could, you know, visit him and hang out. and he wouldn't be as lonely, and then alec and izzy could both stay

driven by this failproof plan, they decide to go back to magnus and tell him their great idea

except they are IDIOTS and forget about. you know. the damn wolves

and like holy shit is this pack big or what? like no seriously why are there infinite wolves in that one singular pack in beauty and the beast. like holy shit dude there's more wolves near the beast's house than in the whole yellowstone park

anyway there are Many Wolves and while alec is a good archer, izzy is a fantastic fighter, and clary is Fucking Crazy if you give her something stabby, there's only so many wolves they can take on at the same time

good thing magnus is a pining idiot who did in fact make himself another magic mirror and was watching alec with it. so he knows that the dumbass is in trouble and for the first time in years, he uses the portal (his own invention, and he had never gotten to use it before!) to get to them and fight off the wolves

so magnus saves all their lives, at the cost of getting severely injured and passing the fuck out. izzy, who's the one closest, runs to get to him and help put him on one of their horses... and is immediately hit by a blast of magic that almost makes HER pass tf out too

which is when they finally learn that, oh. that is the curse

izzy is fine, of course - the pain ended as soon as she was away from magnus

but it does pose the problem of How The Fuck Are They Getting Him Back To Safety, because they can't exactly wait for magnus to wake up (it's freezing, for starters) but with this amount of pain it won't be physically possible for them to hoist him up and get him on the horse. shit, will the curse work on the horse?

they bring alec's horse (by far the strongest of them because alec is huge buff mcgee) and try to get him to touch magnus and the spell does NOT work on the horse because in order to be dramatic asmodeus was like "you shall never feel human touch again" when he cast the spell, which accidentally gave a LOOPHOLE for non-human animals. so magnus could have had cats the whole time, which he had always dreamed of, but he didnt want to risk testing. besides, his house would be a poor environment for a cat and [self torture noises]

anyway thats one less problem to deal with, 99 to go, so they use some ropes to hoist magnus on top of the horse and bring him back to the tower (it's closer than the village) so they can tend to his wounds. thankfully, as the assigned Big Brother of a very irresponsible izzy, alec has experience with first aid, altho he never really dealt with anything quite this bad. and magnus' friends help, too, as much as they can. inevitably this means that alec ends up touching him even if by accident sometimes, but he knows what to expect so he Powers Through It because he won't let magnus die, damn. and as horrible as that is alec has experience with powering through pain, so. he's gonna bandage him up god damn it

izzy can't stand to see him dealing with that himself tho, so she helps, and clary ends up helping as well because they figure sharing the pain makes it easier and alec doesn't have to be too hurt. minimal touching accidents for alec! good

*narrator voice* And Then Magnus Wakes Up And Alec Hugs Him

full on launches on top of him and brings him into his arms and Magnus screams like NONONO OH MY GOD WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALEC NO GET OFF ME YOU'LL BE HURT and his shock and distress at the whole thing sends another whole blast of magic that explodes that whole mf before it can touch alec and alec feels no pain and magnus is like.............. did i just COUNTER the spell? and everyone's like well! it looks like u did!

which earns him ANOTHER hug (oh my god alec stop he's so stressed out by this) (who knew alec was so touchy?) and this time he's paying attention to that gut reaction and because magnus is a Certified Magic Genius he realizes what it is that he's doing to counter the spell and immediately starts working on a way to turn this into unhexxing himself for good

which he DOES after some time idk how long but alec stays with him meanwhile and maybe izzy and clary do too, because magnus needs all the company he can get and besides, izzy has always wanted adventure and clary has never left the village before, so this is interesting to them at least. and magnus gets to meet new ppl which is nice

eventually the Begone Spell spell is performed and it works and turns out that when it does that it also unfucks magnus' magic and perfects his sentience spell turning all of his friends into humans WOW WHOD HAVE THOUGHT. so all of them are free to leave the tower as ppl at the same time and GROUP HUG!! and magnus cries like a baby in the group hug because holy shit hes been needing something like this so bad for so long and he never expected to have that with his friends but here he is :)

and then yeah they all move to the village to live a simple but fulfilling life and Magnus and Alec start living together in a little cottage and become husbands the end <3 this is so long too rip me

[wandaposting]

wandavision: the criticisms post

tl;dr: i liked the show, but there were aspects that were annoying and dumbfounding to me and here’s the post that covers That ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

this was gonna be my comprehensive wandavision review post that had both cons and pros, but the cons kind of ran away from me lsdfjs SO YOU’RE GETTING THIS FIRST. if you find my views diverging from yours in either direction, you’re valid, please don’t shiv me. this is just how i Feel in a somewhat shitposty (as per usual) format. 😔

the big con list:

the way wanda’s actual villainy gets brushed away by the narrative: or specifically the way wanda strolls past the people she mentally tortured and traumatized for a week to apologize to monica, who then goes “gg girl i would’ve done the same :)” and then wanda leaves that entire mess—that she caused—behind her and bails lol. that scene is a microcosm of my problems with this show’s attempt at portraying what the creators have described as her ““complexity””. they want us to feel sorry for her, but not in the way that we can sympathize with walter white while still acknowledging he’s broken bad. rather, this show seemed to want to paint her as more of a victim than the people she victimized. they still want her to come out looking heroic and triumphant and rewarded from her journey with new powers, a new superhero outfit, a new superhero moniker. and that falls flat when you realize she’s basically been a self-absorbed asshole throughout the course of this show. she was confronted no less than four times, and told point blank that a few thousand people were suffering under her control. that is not something we can excuse with depression and denial. that means that at multiple times she is making at least the subconscious choice that her happiness matters more than the wellbeing of her meat puppets, which includes children, across the span of a week. i don’t see monica rambeau “doing the same thing.” the fact that they made her say it while the townspeople glared on in miserable silence just rubbed me the wrong way. if they really wanted to make her responsible for westview, while also wanting her to come out looking remotely good, they needed to invest in a much more substantial redemption arc for her than “i didn’t mean to, gonna go self-exile now.” or even holding everything else constant, they could’ve delivered a more nuanced take where westview was in dire straits before her arrival. the westview she initially drove through already looked economically depressed, so i don’t know why they didn’t just follow through with this. but they could’ve made it so that by granting herself happiness and prosperity, she could’ve spread that genuinely throughout the citizens. instead of hex vision waking norm up in horror, you could’ve had him begging to be put back under. that way, her decision to accept and face reality head on could also be reflected by the people of westview. where everyone, perhaps aided through wanda’s mind link, decides they shouldn’t let fantasy consume themselves at the expense of improving their actual reality. there’s still moral ambiguity, there’s still mistakes being made, we can still side-eye wanda for doing the equivalent of drugging people, but at least these npc’s would've gained something from wanda blundering into their lives. but no she made 3 thousand people suffer through the literal plot of Get Out, giving them life-long ptsd and trauma with nothing good, and i think that’s bad. if she has more haters after this series, i can’t even blame them. but apparently she has a shit-ton more fans after this series, so... OH WELL, IT IS WHAT IT IS sdkfjkls

TYLER: which brings me to the thought that, if this show had hayward acting like a three dimensional human person with the bare minimum intellect required to run SWORD ... instead of an incompetent jackass scooby doo villain ... a lot of us would be spamming #HaywardWasRight. tyler hayward might legitimately be the worst villain mcu has ever produced, like edging past malekith. is he supposed to be an analogue to real world tr*mp appointed deputies? unlike agatha, he’s not even entertaining to watch. he’s the ted cruz of the mcu, which is bizarre when he was introduced as the strict but not particularly vexing or unreasonable successor to maria rambeau in episode 4. it ended up feeling extremely contrived how the show attempted to aggressively signal us with “hayward bad” and “wanda good, actually” through the lens of monica, darcy, and jimmy. it’s like they had to make hayward come across as Extremely Dumb in order to make wanda come across as the more sympathetic party, when she was the one doing [gestures vaguely at wall of text above].

and SPEAKING of agatha: she also ended up being the exact kind of simplified reductive cackling “gimme ur powers wanda” evil super witch that i didn’t want her to be. that’s all.

the theorybaiting: i didn’t care about the lack of mutants/doctor strange cameo (lol what happened, charles murphy)/multiverse/blue marvel/reed richards/mephisto/nightmare/chthon (altho we did get the darkhold wink wonk) so much that it ruined my experience. ralph bohner was disappointing, but i got over it. my issue here is more that they deliberately baited a more interesting story than they delivered, and i think they shot themselves in the foot with that. the first 7, even 8 episodes had set up this atmosphere of mystery and intrigue, only for them to wrap up all these questions with the most boring, uninspired answers possible. question: what does hayward want and what is he up to? answer: hayward is simply a stupid dingus. question: who is agatha harkness and what is she up to? answer: an evil witch who just wants to steal yo powers. question: who is fietro? answer: lol boner. question: was it wanda all along? answer: yes, but no it was actually agatha, but actually yes, but she didn’t mean to and is kind of sorry and now she’s gonna fly away so have fun with your ptsd, westview. ????????? yeah they could have ... done some of that better.

the pacing in the end: i remember when they said it was gonna be “around 6 hours,” and we got 4 and a half hours of actual content instead... they should have given us that extra 1 and a half hour to flesh out the finale. the sitcom portion was fun, it feels like the sitcom portion was prioritized in the writing room, and that the overarching narrative beyond the sitcom suffered to accommodate it. when it came time to break away from the format, they stumbled. so in the beginning, there were segments that felt authentic to the era but were fairly critiqued as “dragging on” ... and in the final episode, we had... the final episode. monica and wanda’s ending conversation felt unsatisfying, both wanda’s apology and monica’s acceptance of it rang particularly hollow [also gestures vaguely to wall of text above]. the appearance of white vision should have had much more of an impact on ... everyone, especially wanda. except the dude just dips and no one mentions him ever again. i feel like hex vision being revealed as the the vision that had always been ~part of her should have also had more ... fleshing out. darcy and jimmy basically ended up having no arcs in this show. they served as stand-ins for the audience, and because they were written to feel sorry for wanda (in a situation where she was absolutely deserving of more scrutiny), the audience too gets manipulated toward doing so.

there’s probably more to add but i’m running out of brain juice BUT THOSE WERE THE BIG ONES STORY-WISE

[haikyuu-drabble]

Hi Annie! Could you write a soulmate au with Akaashi?

hello anon c: !! thank you for requesting this omg i really had a lot of fun writing this one lol it kinda required just slightly more creativity because i wanted to have something diff than the usual thing that people write. altho who knows this may not be as new of an idea as i think LOL 

---------------

Akaashi x Reader | 3 Stages

word count: 1776

“One last thing before I go. Tell me why you hate the idea of finding your soulmate?” your friend asked you.

“I just hate the idea of someone else having so much power over me.” You explained, “I want to make decisions that are best for me and no one else. I dislike the fact that as soon as you meet them, they completely take over your whole life.

Your friend sighed, “That’s not how soulmates work.”

You and your friend were catching up in a café during your friend’s lunch break and your day off, to your dismay she had brought up the whole idea of soulmates again. It was expected of everyone to find their soulmates regardless of age, but you weren’t really a whole fan of the whole concept.

“From what I’ve seen,” you began, “that’s exactly how it works.”

“Well, you’ve never actually experienced it, so you can’t be 100% sure.” Your friend laughed, “Isn’t the whole point of a soulmate to be someone who is inherently supposed to make you a better person?”

“Why can’t I be the best person on my own?” you retorted.

Your friend rolled her eyes, “But life isn’t about going through things alone. That person is meant to help you when you’re down or teach you things you could never do on your own.” Your friend then conceded, “Whatever. I give up for now. But I can’t wait for you to meet them.”

“I can wait.” You smirked, “I already feel lucky that I haven’t come across that person yet.”

Your friend sighed, “I don’t feel as lucky as you do. It seems like most people from our high school has met their soulmate. I thought I would’ve already met mine by now. I’ve experienced what I thought were 2 out of the 3 stages to finding your soulmate with some people a couple of times, but the last stage never came.”

“It is strange that we haven’t met our soulmate yet. They’re supposed to be in close proximity to us since that’ll increase the chances of meeting them.” You continued, “The whole ‘stages to finding your soulmate’ thing is odd. I think I’ve only experienced stage 1 when I was around met a stranger once.”

Your friend went wide eyed, “Only once?!”

You shrugged and kept talking, “The first stage is a chill running through your body.” You tried to recall the stages in your head, “The second is the something with the flu?”

Your friend rolled her eyes, “You get an allergic reaction from the sudden shock of meeting that person.”

“That.” You laughed, “I completely forgot the third one. Remind me, please.”

“I think it’s more of a mental thing, rather than physical. They say that your world just gets brighter, and you feel overall lighter.” You friend explained.

“Well, how are you supposed to know the difference? It could just be a really sunny day.” You replied.

“Nope.” Your friend shook her head, “They say this is the most obvious stage. There’s no way you could confuse it for anything else in the world. If you could, then so many people wouldn’t even know they’ve met their special person.”

You chuckled, “I feel like I can get all three stages just by drinking. Maybe alcohol is my soulmate?”

“If only it were that easy.” Your friend checked her watch, “I really should get going. My lunch break is nearly over!”

You waved good bye to your friend and also figured it was time for you to leave. When you left the café, you felt a sudden breeze hit your face. This spring was a little chillier than most. You turned to your left and immediately ran into someone causing their ice-cold drink to spill all over the both of you. The drink’s ice cubes got caught in your shirt, and it made your whole body shiver.

You cursed at yourself for not being more careful while shaking your shirt to let the ice cubes free. You looked to see who the person was and saw a tall wavy-haired man, looking at you wide eyed. He immediately bowed, “I’m so sorry.”

You saw that his shirt was completely drenched from the collision as well and laughed, “It’s fine. I shouldn’t have been so distracted.”

He grabbed a handkerchief from his pocket and handed it to you. You gratefully took it and used it to blot your shirt. He offered, “I can pay for you to get your shirt dry cleaned!”

While drying your shirt, you chuckled, “It’s really fine! I don’t really care about this shirt much anyways.”

“If anything, I’ll treat you out to a meal.” He offered, “I’m Akaashi Keiji.”

You smiled and introduced yourself. Once you were able to take dry yourself as well as you could, you got a better look at him. You immediately thought that he was actually quite attractive. You smiled at him, “I could go for a meal.”

“We should probably both go home and change first, though.” He suggested, “Are you free later tonight?”

“Actually, yeah. Today, I’m off from work.” You admitted

The two of you traded numbers and then headed your separate ways.

Akaashi found himself doing peculiar things today. He’d never order an iced coffee, yet today he felt like it. Then after literally running into you and spilling an ice-cold drink over the both of you, he asked you out on a date.

Once Akaashi reached his apartment, he showered and changed into clean, non-sticky clothing. He checked his phone, and he saw a text. It was from you. He smiled and then suggested a casual restaurant for the meal. You quickly replied and agreed through the text message.

When he finally reached the meeting place, he saw you sitting at a table already, looking outside the window. Your head was propped up on your hand, and you were smiling. Without saying anything, he sat across from you and asked, “What are you looking at?”

You jumped at what seemed like a sudden arrival and laughed, “You scared me!”

“Sorry,” Akaashi smirked, “But what are you looking at?”

You smiled and looked outside again, “I was thinking how pretty the cherry blossoms are this year.”

Akaashi followed you line of vision and saw nearly everything decorated with cherry blossom petals, “I didn’t realize it this year, to be honest, but you’re right.”

“If you find yourself too busy to look around you, you might miss out on something important.” You replied with a grin.

“I have a bad habit of getting too into my head.” He awkwardly chuckled, “It’s definitely something I should fix.”

‘’That’s probably the exact opposite of me. I get too distracted by everything around me.” You admitted, “It’s probably why we ran into each other earlier today. I was too distracted thinking about the weather and how it’s a colder spring than normal.”

“Well, I guess we can level each other out.” Akaashi joked.

You grinned, “If that’s how it works!”

You both ordered, and the food soon came out. You found out that the two of you lived very opposite lives. He was in the world of business, and you were more in the creative line of work. But, that didn’t mean you didn’t get along. Since the two of you lived very different lives, it was fun hearing each other’s perspectives of the world. The two of you genuinely enjoyed each other company. The conversation flowed easily, but when it was quiet, it wasn’t uncomfortable. When the two of you finished eating, Akaashi offered to walk you to the train station. On the way there, the two of you walked through a path surrounded by the cherry blossoms. It was windier than usual, and Akaashi stuck his pockets in his hands, “You were right about spring this year. It’s a little colder than past years.”

“Right?” you agreed, “Although, the wind decorates everything with flower petals, so you can’t completely hate it.”

“It has been triggering my allergies a bit though.” Akaashi sniffed.

“But, that’s just what spring is!” you grabbed a packet of tissues from your bag and passed it to Akaashi.

As soon as you passed him the packet, you sneezed. Akaashi looked at you and then smirked, “Are you sure you don’t need it more than me?”

You gave a playful glare, “Just hand me a tissue, please.”

Once the two of you reached the station, you looked at Akaashi, “Well, I guess this is it.”

“Does it have to be?” Akaashi asked.

Your cheeks turned red, and you could feel your heartbeat beat faster. However, you immediately stopped yourself. You took a deep breath, “Are you sure we should be doing this?”

He was confused, “What do you mean?”

“This.” You pointed back and forth at the both of you, “Have you met your soulmate?”

“I-I haven’t.” he admitted.

“I just don’t want to be left behind if you ever do.” You looked down, “I like you, Akaashi, but I’m scared. You have to have realized it by now, but we aren’t each other’s soulmate. Let’s say things work out between us—heck, what if we last a long time? But the moment one of us finds our soulmate, one of us would have to leave the other. Do you really want to go through that?”

Akaashi creased his eyebrows, “Why can’t we just try?”

“I don’t want to waste your time.” You replied.

Before he could say anything, you started to walk away. But Akaashi wasn’t going to give up, and he reached out for your hand. When his fingertips touched yours, there was a bright flash of light. It blinded the both of you for a moment. When you could finally see again, everything was different. Everything was… vivid. You looked at Akaashi, and even he looked different. He was brighter. In fact, it felt like he was the source of all the light in your vision. You looked at him and asked, “D-did you—”

“Feel that?” he finished your sentence.

“Does that mean… we’re soulmates?” You hesitated, “But we didn’t even go through the stages!”

Akaashi started to list them, “Number one, a chill.”

You felt your eyes widen, “The spilled drink.”

“Two, allergic reaction.” He continued.

“Cherry blossoms.” Your shoulders dropped.

You suddenly burst out laughing, “What the heck? Have you ever heard of a soulmate encounter like that before? I’ve never heard of such a convoluted way of going through the stages.”

Akaashi felt his heart warm at the site of your smile, “Nope, but… I can’t say that I hate it.”

You faced him and admitted, “I was always scared that I’d meet my soulmate and find out that they be a terrible match for me.” You grabbed his hand, “But I guess, there wasn’t anything to be scared of.”

He smiled at the sight of your intertwined hands, “I just hope that I can make you feel that way for the rest of your life.”

[primarch]

okay it’s about time i pulled one of these together so liking this means you’re okay with me:

sending memes on meme day without the worry of first interaction first !

plotting ! this is a plotter call after all so if you’re not comfortable with me messaging you to plot then i am..... sorry, but this includes approaching or being approached for a plot in the event either of us get ideas !

general messages like IMs and asks ! 

other miscellaneous things i may be missing ! 

✩ pre-established relationships: i’m going to preface this by saying anything listed here ( sans romance, although i am open to a ‘hey they could be good this way’ talk and we can see where it goes icly ) is of course welcome as a pre-estab ! i don’t mind these a whole lot and actually prefer them myself sometimes especially if other people like or prefer to jump past the ‘first-meeting’ thread, and it does help stuff goin a bit faster imo ! so if you’re interested in this + whatever’s listed ( and some of what’s not, but i’ll delve into this in the other section altho not...deeply. ) feel free to let me know !

✩ acquaintances: neither friends nor enemies, stuff on the surface level of getting to know one another but not in a deeper sense than that. these kinds of dynamics could be friendly or somewhat antagonistic really ! sandalphon isn’t like the captain in that he’d lay down his life for absolutely everyone he comes across, he doesn’t try to live up to the whole hero role because he doesn’t consider himself one, so the likelihood that he’ll go around saving people is... slim. especially with how limited his powers are at the moment.  he will, however, still lend his aid depending on the situation.

✩ friends: manage to somehow break through his general broodiness and abrasive personality? cool ! if he considers you one of these then he’ll be more likely to lend a hand when it’s needed in more dire situations. he may bring up stuff from his past or avoid it altogether, depending on what kind of questions are asked and whatever kind of mood he’s in. on a more positive note, he’ll be friendlier, although his personality doesn’t do a 180 where he’s intensely friendly all of the time, he just has fewer bad moods in pleasant company.

✩ enemies: antagonistic relationships fall under here... whether someone is completely detestable or just gets on his nerves the right amount that’d be under here ! he does make some attempt to be a good person, but he knows there’s a lot of habits he needs to personally break first. that said, it’s not too hard to get on bad terms with him. people that poke and prod at him or put him / his existence / lucifer’s existence down he loathes. not that a lot of people would know about lucifer.. but still ! if you’re interested in this we can work something out ! 

✩ coworkers: sandalphon works in a cafe located in ( redacted. ) he is friendlier in these settings because he’s soothed by the smell of coffee and the act of making it, but he’ll likely still be snippy even with coworkers. that’s just how he is. but, people can note the differences if they see him outside of a work setting. he spends the majority of his time here, and whether people are part-time or full-time or any time, he’ll likely talk to whatever coworkers he has especially if they share the same shift.

✩ customers: branching off of the coworkers section, he generally enjoys the company / presence of people who enjoy his coffee. unless they’re outright atrocious or annoying, if he’s on break or what have you then it’s likely that should someone wish for his company while they enjoy their own cup that he’ll sit with them as well. he’s not a great conversation partner, but if it’s about coffee then he has plenty to say ! at least, in terms of stuff he will willingly talk about.

✩ fellow nonhumans: sandalphon's expected to be around for a very long time, being immortal and all, but essentially he's an archangel, a primal beast created by lucifer, and on taking up the mantle from his deceased creator he is also the supreme primarch. i don't mind other nonhuman characters or even characters with a kind of clairvoyance realizing that he's not human. it's not so rare that he's seen with his wings out, but it's not super common either. he's still sandalphon, though, so even if someone isn't human as well that doesn't necessarily mean he'll get along with them. it's just that he'll have some kind of relatability to them !

✩ romance ( ? ): this is definitely the most difficult thing in regards to dynamics with him. his feelings are jumbled and when he develops them for someone it’ll be harder for him to confront it because of how long his affections lasted for someone else. for that someone else they’ll of course always be there regardless of if he develops new feelings for someone else. while he doesn’t necessarily have a type, this is more likely for people he’s on friendly terms with because once he considers someone an enemy / someone worth despising that’s all they will be to him. he has a strong preference for other masculine-aligned and / or nonhuman people, but primal beasts ‘have characteristics that may outright contradict the ways mortals perceive them.’  in essence, he doesn’t care one way or another what a person is, if he likes them then he likes them.

✩ other: if you have ideas for something that’s not listed here or something in addition to a category i have up there feel free to tell me all about it ! i love hearing other people’s ideas and am very receptive ! if we’ve done stuff before but you have ideas for more stuff or something else then feel free to like this as well and i will hit you up !

[wattanvs]

hello squad fam, my name’s alex and i’m 18 and uhh , yeah! i’m excited to be here and i also don’t know what i’m doing at all ever so pls accept me :~) this is my girl achara who goes by the nickname bella, and she’s a total mess! she hates her life and she hates being in student debt and she hates herself so you could call her something of a… triple threat. HENNYWAYS please give her lots of plots and maybe force some love or more pain onto her

my girl here is a choreographer and has her own youtube channel

she started dancing at the age of five and tbh she’s been hooked since,,, to this day she remembers coming up with different choreography with her older sister and freestyling to any song she would hear

even though both of her parents pushed her towards college she absolutely detested it and was like no ?? that’s not for me ?? but eventually, like the slight pushover she is, ending up caving and going and majoring in dance, so tbh it wasn’t too bad of a decision bc she’s living out her life dream as a choreographer

the downside...she’s drowning in student debt rn pls help

( death, familial loss ) buuut two years ago she lost her sister in a car accident and when that happened she got really sad? she was soo close to her and relied on her for nearly everything, so once that happened she became very reclusive and hid in her room for days

until one day she sorta came to terms with it and just got out seeming like a whole new person, like a 180 degree change

became more upbeat and cheerful, makes herself the brunt of jokes just for fun

bella has 0 shame, gives 0 fucks, which makes her fun to be around ig

she’s the kind of girl who if u walked in on… while showering….. or whatever…… would ask u to join in

also the kind of girl who appears at all these bomb ass parties but disappears 30 min in bc she’s in a room asleep

she doesn’t even care she’s labeled as a “celebrity”...she’s honestly kinda confused?? like when a video of her dancing to her own choreo went viral she was like wtf bro that’s not even my best and ranted for like an hour why another video deserved it

100% a perfectionist but she’s such a sweet choreographer...if you ask her to choreograph anything for you she will make sure it’s the best okay

v v attentive and will make sure you get everything right but absolutely will not yell at you and will try to make you laugh if she thinks you’re getting frustrated

also calls herself a local meme enthusiast & there’s a 99% chance she’ll quote some type of vine during a conversation

but deep down despite all her stupid memes.. .. or whatever… it’s mostly a kind of coping mechanism to her? like she just really HATES feeling vulnerable so she makes up for that by being super outgoing to distract herself from thinking too much about her sister’s death

but she’s a Good Girl she really is, esp hates seeing people struggle or be in pain and would do as much as she can to help/defend them, which is why she often puts herself second and sacrifices a lot in the process

kinda hard to take srsly, but she gets annoyed pretty quick too despite how easygoing she is, so u’ll def know when she means smth is impt to her

at the same time people might get easily annoyed at her bc she might come across as someone who doesn’t take stuff seriously but it’s just bc she doesn’t wanna get too emotionally invested and hurt

so if you think you’re gonna have a heart to heart with her ... well, good luck charlie

isn’t afraid to speak her mind and voice her opinions, so uh if she despises u she will tell u and (sorta) make u feel like shit

if she’s not working she’s usually holed up in her room but sometimes she comes out n does nice stuff for her friends like leave random gifts (like dildos) on their doorsteps LOL (w notes that say: u need to get laid bro)

generally nice to be around?? altho she does stupid shit n would accept anyone’s dares in a second and seems like she has NO regard for her life

BUT she’s a funny girl and works hard

trustable 4 sure, ur secret’s safe w her

would make a friend in general despite everything FOR REAL she’s good for cuddles n making ramen and making you laugh

anw LOVE MY BBY PLS!!!! thank u babes i look forward to interacting w u all cuties

[weiwuxiian]

Because I am a fool and I love Lan WangJi with all my heart. This is all in LWJ’s POV. Even though I’m a WWX blog I’m posting about his family ok.

Objectives: 1. LWJ needs more love 2. I love family feels 3. Since Wen Yuan is introduced in the Eng translations lately, I felt like it’s appropriate to post this 4. Slight novel spoilers altho I feel like all of u might already know 5. Might add a bit and then publish it to AO3 maybe P.S:  Personal blogs please DO NOT REBLOG this post. Comments, however, are welcomed.

Lan WangJi took thirty-three strokes of whip marks to his back.

When the whips were carried out, all he could think of is that it also took thirty-three strokes to write his name. To write three letters: Wei Wu Xian.

Lan WangJi never uttered a single word, never even released a pained groan as the Gusu Lan Sect’s whip bit into his flesh. A loud whack resounding in the air repeatedly. Again and Again. Lan XiChen caught him biting down on his lip as sweat gathered above his brows, yet his expression remained passive, natural, as they always had.

He knelt in front of the altar for three long hours. And next, three years on bed awaited him.

Lan WangJi had fallen into a coma.

When he woke up, everything felt like a bad dream.

Lan XiChen was the first one to greet him. Lan WangJi sat up, his eyes drifting down to the thing in his elder brother’s hand. Lan XiChen had brought him a walking stick.

“You will find it easier to move around with this.”

Lan WangJi nodded, “Thank you, brother.”

It was difficult sitting up. Lan WangJi had never felt so clumsy before in his life until Lan XiChen grips his arm, helping him sit up and guides the stick onto his hand. For a long while, Lan WangJi didn’t speak. He only watched the concerned expression forming on his brother’s face.

“How long?”

“One week. Seven days.” Lan XiChen answers casually as if he’d expected WangJi to ask such questions. “Does it still hurt?”

“...A bit. It will heal in time. Brother need not worry.”

Lan XiChen’s look of concern never left his face. He added quietly, “Uncle is angry.”

Lan WangJi froze visibly, but only barely. His grip around the handle of the walking stick tightens as he answered with a determined gaze. “I know. I will explain it to him. However, my answer will be the same.”

“Why?” Lan Xichen let out a long sigh. His brother was impossibly stubborn, just like his uncle. After a moment of thought, he finally offered, “No need to see him. I will talk to him. He might listen if I beg.”

Lan WangJi thanked his brother the second time that day in their short confrontation.

After he managed to figure out how to walk with a stick, the first thing he did after he steps out of the Jingshi was to visit his rabbits. Over the years, they multiplied. Or rather, at first there were just two, then one day, another pair of white and black rabbit appeared. The two he originally had apparently found their mates.

Then from there, more and more rabbits began to appear.

They greeted him whenever he visited the garden at the black of the Cloud Recesses, piling up excitedly to greet him. Lan WangJi didn’t like to speak, and the rabbits couldn’t speak, preferring to show their excitement through their actions. Round, fluffy things gathered around him as he limped his way into the valley, leaving a small space between themselves and his walking stick, deciding the strange new object wasn’t something they should touch or topple over.

Lan WangJi found a tree and knelt beside it. His back still ached from those thirty-three whip marks.

When he sat down, his lap was immediately filled with rabbits. Of course, they missed him. He’d been in a coma for almost an entire week. Lan XiChen must have fed them for him.

“...”

Bright, golden hues stared down, and it seemed as though the rabbits had gotten used to his stoic, cold, facade somewhat and didn’t feel the same sense of intimidation others would have felt. Perhaps they couldn’t tell. Perhaps they trusted Lan WangJi’s touches that were soft and gentle in contrast to his face.

Lan WangJi patted them with a single hand, while his other hand held on to his stick.

“Lan Huan! Look after your brother!”

It was the voice of an elder of the Lan Sect. Hundreds of disciples were rushing out to gather at the bottom of the Cloud Recesses, apparently, they were ready to take down the Yiling Patriarch as a means to an end. Lan WangJi had woken up in the middle of the night with a blank expression, proof of being uninformed. But Lan XiChen’s own face contradicts his own. His brother knew.

“Elder brother, what is happening?”

“They’re doing what they should. We were given orders to stay out of it.”

Doing what they should? Doing what? The door was locked, XiChen standing next to it as if he was guarding it. Even a fool could tell something wasn’t right. Immediately, Lan WangJi reaching to the corner of his bed where he had kept his walking stick only to find it gone.

Immediately, he pulled himself to the window of the Jingshi, looking down below. Hundreds of angry cultivators and villagers were gathered at the bottom of the Cloud Recesses, angry expressions written all over their faces. Some holding pitch forks, lanterns, and torches; but the most eye-catching one of them all were the ones holding up wooden signs with red paint written in large, bold letters: ‘Kill the Yiling Patriarch’.

“...No.” Lan WangJi has always been composed, calm, but in this instance, he’d let out a word he hadn’t intended to.

Without his walking stick, he continued to drag himself stubbornly to the exit of his room. Lan XiChen immediately stood between the door and himself.

“Leave!”

Lan XiChen’s eyebrows narrowed. “I am sorry, WangJi.”

What does he mean by that?

He’s finally desperate. “Leave,” he repeated, attempting to shove Lan XiChen away, but his hand was caught by the elder of the two Jades.

“Master Wei should have expected this coming. There is nothing we can do. His errors have transcended his reputation, WangJi. Protecting him would mean going against the entire cultivation world!”

“I cannot care so much.” Lan WangJi shook off his grip, “Those people don’t know what they are doing!”

“Your body is injured to this extent; what can you do, and where can you go? Going alone would only mean killing yourself!”

As much as he hated to admit it, his elder brother does have a point. Lan WangJi reminded himself to calm down, to stop panicking, giving it some thought. “Look for Sect Leader Jiang.”

“Jiang Cheng? Jiang WanYin?”

Lan WangJi nodded. Jiang Cheng was previously the younger brother of Wei WuXian and Lan WangJi knew they shared an intimidate bond. Surely, he will hear him out and discuss matters with him? Surely, they could conspire a plan to rescue Wei WuXian from the fate that awaits him downstairs?

However, what had been a faint candle of hope were instantly blew out the moment he saw the look on Lan XiChen’s face.

“There is something you don’t know, WangJi.” Lan XiChen’s face looked pitiful. As if the moment he feared the most has finally arrived. “The raid to annihilate the Yiling Patriarch…”  he said, “...is led by Sect Leader Jiang.”

Everything was over in a day.

The Yiling Patriarch is dead.

Lan WangJi hasn’t slept since, and already, dark circles were forming under his eyes. It’s been three days since he was locked in his room, and finally, on the third day, a junior disciple was ordered to unlock his doors.

When the junior disciple walked into the Jingshi to serve their HanGuang-Jun his meal, he was greeted by three trays of cold food that were previously brought to his room before this.

But Lan WangJi was nowhere to be found.

With a broken branch as his temporary walking stick, Lan WangJi limped his walk from Gusu to Yiling and finally up the Burial Mounds. The stench there was unbearable to any ordinary human being. If given the chance, no one in their right minds would willingly settle down in such a place. Unless they had no choice, with nowhere else to go.

For two days he wandered the mountains with only his new walking stick to defend him. Bichen hung by the side of his waist. But due to his injury, he couldn’t use too much spiritual energy at the moment, so the need to unsheathe Bichen was kept at a minimum.

Finally, three days have passed. He found nothing. Except for broken items and houses Wei WuXian had kept, not a single corpse or sign of life was present. It was as if all traces of the Yiling Patriarch had vanished into thin air.

Batted, dirty, and tired, Lan WangJi managed to drag himself to a stump of a tree and sat on it, inhaling aggressively to regain all the oxygen he has lost while travelling here. His breath is the only sound that could be heard in the Burial Mounds.

It was Winter that year. Snowflakes had begun to fall, along with ashes from the fires and smokes of the siege that had taken place several days before. Mixing into one, black and white particles fell from the sky.

Suddenly, he heard the sound of a child sniffing.

Lan WangJi immediately stood up. There is zero chance that it could be Wei WuXian. Lan WangJi recognized his voice anywhere, but this one also sounded familiar. Grabbing his stick, he quickly limped across the thin layer snow, following the source of the sound.

It led him to an old oak tree. In the heart of the tree, there is a hollow.

A child is wrapped up in a thin layer of cloth. The cloth was something familiar to Lan WangJi’s eyes. Only months ago, Wei WuXian was wearing it when they were having a meal together.

“A…..A-Yuan….wants…. A-Yuan wants Granny.”

A-Yuan…? Wen Yuan…?

“B-Brother Xian…. Brother Xian where are you?”

“Why haven’t... Brother Xian come back? A-Yuan…. hungry and cold.”

Almost instinctively, Lan WangJi took him into his arms, wrapping his own cloak around him. He immediately felt around his head, unsurprised to find that A-Yuan is having a fever. Like any child, especially since he was left in the cold and alone for many days, A-Yuan’s tiny arms clutched his robes as if he was afraid whoever the person has come to pick him up would leave him.

Wen Yuan barely managed to open his eyes, “Brother Xian…?”

“Mn.”

He nuzzled into Lan WangJi’s chest, burying his face in his chest. Within a few seconds, Lan WangJi felt the child’s grip on his robe loosens. Probably, Wen Yuan had either fallen asleep or passed out.

“We go home.”

Wen Yuan was still wrapped in his own cloak when Lan WangJi was carrying him, his tiny head lying on its side on Lan WangJi’s shoulder. The younger of the Two Jade of Gusu Lan was kneeling before the gate of the Cloud Recesses. Lan WangJi’s expression remained neutral, unfeeling, expressionless. However, his grip on Wen Yuan was tight and almost defensive. Several disciples had offered to take Wen Yuan the moment Lan WangJi returned to the Cloud Recesses, but he refused. The wounds of his back had split open once more after limping for hours without the aid of a walking stick and carrying a child.

Lan QiRen had been so angry that he only spared him a glance before turning away and returned to his room.

The last time Lan WangJi saw of him was Lan XiChen following after his uncle. And it had been twelve hours since.

The snow had gotten heavier. His hands were growing cold. But Lan WangJi held on to Wen Yuan, refusing to let anyone touch him.

“...”

The shadow of an umbrella overshadows his figure. Lan WangJi looks up at that and saw a junior disciple holding an umbrella, his eyes pitifully looking down at him with a mixture of confusion and sympathy.

“Go in if you don’t want Master Lan to discipline you.”

The junior disciple shook his head. He looked only about four or five.

“...” Lan WangJi didn’t know what to say, “...what is your name?”

“Lan JingYi.”

Lan WangJi says slowly, “Go in.”

Lan JingYi shook his head. Then, staring at Wen Yuan, Lan JingYi felt his head as well before he immediately withdrew his hand as if Wen Yuan’s forehead had burned him. “Is he sick?!”

Lan WangJi nodded. “Fever.”

Lan JingYi steps back a few paces before he ran into the Cloud Recesses, dropping the umbrella as he did.

Lan WangJi picks it up and holds it above Wen Yuan.

An hour later, the gate of the Cloud Recesses opens again. This time, Lan XiChen stepped out, bidding him to come in with a hand and a solemn expression although his usual smile is still there. Lan WangJi stood, shivered a little when his legs tried to adjust to a standing position after kneeling for so long. He looks around. Lan QiRen and Lan JingYi were nowhere to be seen.

Once he got in, Wen Yuan was immediately put to bed and nursed by the medics of the Gusu Lan Sect.

Two days later, Wen Yuan woke up.

“Who… are you?” the child had asked. “Who… am I? Brother Xian said no talking to strangers…”

Lan WangJi had been the only one by his bed when Wen Yuan woke up. He blinks in slight surprise. “...”

Had Wen Yuan lost his memories?

“Am I… not familiar to you?” he asked.

Wen Yuan stares at him with his large, round, toddler eyes and shook his head. “We… met?”

Lan WangJi nodded. “Once.”

“If you want to keep him, then he is your responsibility.”

Lan WangJi was sitting under the same tree behind the Cloud Recesses where his rabbits roamed. A wooden table was set before him, a brush and paper spread across the surface of the table. Whenever it was peaceful times like these, Lan WangJi spent his time writing poems about the scenery or practised his calligraphy.

It was as if the rabbits knew when to pester him and when to not. Such as now, they didn’t gather all around him like they usually would.

A moment later, Wen Yuan wandered into the same garden Lan WangJi was in. Rubbing his face, he apparently seems to have just woke up and decided to take a stroll in the garden.

Seeing Lan WangJi, he wanders up the small slump of hill and sat beside him, watching at whatever he was doing with keen interest.

Lan WangJi stared back at him, an eyebrow raised.

Wen Yuan appeared to be troubled, somewhat. After a while, he begins. “HanGuang-Jun, do you think Master Lan, Lan QiRen, hates me?”

Now, Lan WangJi understood but instead, he asked, “Why?”

“Um…”  Wen Yuan never thought he needed to explain in such detail, “He doesn’t look at me. During class, he never asked me questions or spoke to me. Have I done something wrong?”

Lan WangJi turned back to his paper and brush. “He does not hate you.”

“Then why he treats me like this?”

“...” Lan WangJi didn’t know how to explain that Lan QiRen hated him and not Wen Yuan. So he picked up his brush and waited for a moment before saying, “Would you… like to write your name?”

Hearing this interesting topic, Wen Yuan immediately dropped their previous topic. “Yes!”

So Lan WangJi settled down to work, drawing his brush over the paper. He never did ask Wei WuXian what the character of Wen Yuan’s  ‘Yuan’ is, so Lan WangJi used another character that also pronounced as ‘Yuan’, but with a different meaning.

He placed the brush back down when he was finished. On the paper, in large, calligraphic letters, were five letters.

                Lan Yuan

Courtesy Name: Lan SiZhui

[dmdumouchel]

Sigh...

Ok, so, I wasn’t rly gonna address this here, but it’s been on my mind.

Under the cut bc this might get long. Why?

1) I talk a lot. Like...it’s just how I am.

2) This is hopefully the last time ...at least for a while, that I’ll be addressing this. And I have a lot to say.

A while ago I got into a few arguments about the ol’ Di/sc//ourse and you know the one (bc I’m impulsive and lack self control...and I was rly annoyed. I know it was pointless....altho at least one conversation was calm and civil and I even ended up changing the other person’s mind about something).

And basically, I’m a bit disheartened, because what I feared was basically confirmed, which is the abundance of misunderstanding when it comes to a/se//xuality.

Why do I put dashes in that word? Because I can’t even post in that tag without having someone latching onto the post and spewing b.s. at me.

Seriously, you don’t even have to post about Di///scourse(TM) to have someone start a screaming match with you. It could be the most harmless un-opinionated (is that even a word??) post ever about being a//ce and someone will immediately try starting a fight. That’s how much the di/sco//urse has polluted the online community. So uh...no thanks lmao. (and if this by any chance still ends up in any of the tags, you will be immediately blocked if you try arguing with me. The purpose of this post is solely to vent).

Anyway, this is what I’ve discovered, which honestly isn’t new...

- Many people think of a/se//xuality as a modifier and not a se//xual orientation in its own right. I had a civil discussion with someone about this though and managed to change their mind (which is the person I mentioned earlier).

- I’ve had someone claim I’m bigoted because I’m a/s//exual. Because being a/s//exual...automatically makes you bigoted?? As if that makes literally any logical sense at all.

- Said person generalized the entire a/s/e//xual community as being bigoted. Even though there’s bad apples in every community, for some reason, the a//ce community is the only one generalized in this way to this extent.

- And I can’t believe this has to be said, but no, I don’t mean generalizations in general. Ofc other communities have generalizations placed on them. But that’s not what I’m talking about. I’m specifically referring to certain generalizations pple within the LGBTQ+ community make about the a//ce community, and how it’s hypocritical. If you’re familiar with this dis/co/ur//se, you know what I’m talking about.

- Said person also claimed we don’t /have/ a community, which is contradictory and just...well, wrong lmao.

- Pple mock the a//ce community for being small. Like, seriously? You’re mocking a minority group for being...well, a freaking minority group??

- Our community is growing. We don’t have many resources or information...but we’ll get there.

- Pple tend to pull the “I used to identify on the a//ce spectrum” card, as if it serves as an excuse to generalize, and speak for all a//ces, as if they somehow know or represent all a//ce experiences.

- Pple assume the worst things a//ces are told is “so like a plant?”

- Pple also assume the worst things that happen to a//ces is “pple being mean online.”

- Pple with no knowledge whatsoever of a//ce experiences try speaking for us and telling us what our experiences are.

- Pple continuously, over and over, and over, and over again, incorrectly define a//se//xuality. They define it as someone who doesn’t have sex. To take issue with this is not nitpicking. You don’t define a se//xual orientation as who you have sex with, or whether or not you have sex. Behavior does not equate to an orientation, and is completely irrelevant.

- Pple think of h//et a//ces as “st//raight pple who don’t have sex.” This is incorrect.

- Speaking of which, I’ve even had someone call h//et a//ces “h//eteros/exual a//s/exuals” .....how does that make sense. Do the fucking math.

- Pple continuously invalidate a//se//xuality as a se//xual orientation.

- Pple think it’s totally ok to bully a//ces online. In fact it’s encouraged. Seriously, no one cares if an a//ce is bullied. They don’t give two shits.

- Need I remind you being bullied leads to feeling suicidal for many pple? You don’t fuck around with that.

- And no, once again, being bullied online is not the worst thing a//ces ever experience, you ignorant dumbasses. But it’s still not ok. Fucking obviously.

- A//ces are under NO obligation to reveal personal info in order to “prove” the prejudice etc. they experience. Some a//ces have gone through some traumatizing shit and to pressure them into sharing such personal info is super fucking gross.

I didn’t even wanna ever bring this shit up again on my blog. But pple are still spreading all this toxic bullshit online. I’ve done a pretty good job of avoiding it here, but then find it on other sites too. That’s when I snap. Bc even after all my efforts to avoid it, it still finds its way back to me.

I’m soooooo sick of it, you don’t even know.

I never even check the a//s/exuality tag anymore. Hell, that’s why I’m leaving dashes in every other word, because I don’t want my post to end up in any of the tags and have to interact with anyone there.

Sometimes I get so annoyed with misinformation that I have to speak up, even if I don’t always get my thoughts across as well as I’d like. But I get tired easily and I don’t wanna do it anymore...I’m going back into retirement lmao.

I’m tired of having to explain a//se//xuality to pple who are overly nasty and aggressive, and don’t want to listen to someone with a perspective different than their own.

From now on pple like that will be blocked on sight. Unless they’re willing to have a mutually respectful, calm, and level-headed conversation. Arguing is utterly pointless.

Just want to make that clear.

[thewingedwolf]

Ben and Lonnie are Actually BFF’s - headcanon/meta brought to you by Rani and her need for her faves to have been friends and also a little wish-fulfillment. I wrote this forever ago and it’s A Lot but I’m posting it before it gets jossed by Descendants 2 (which....who knows maybe my broship will be canon but whateva).

So for my First Piece of Evidence...it’s less evidence and more me spit balling (I’ll get to actual evidence later). But they’re pretty evenly matched in temperament, they’re both happy, cheerful, and kind kids with a general positive outlook on life which would make me think they would get along. I mean, Ben seems to get along with everyone so its not far of a stretch that him and Lonnie would get along.

Second, she seems pretty down with the proclamation. Which could be chalked up to her just being a good person but uh. Considering the pushback Ben got from it (warranted or not), it doesn’t seem very likely that’s the reason. Or likely all on it’s own anyway. I mean most of the parents are against it, at the very least the more popular kids are against it (minus Ben), so that’s a lot of people around Lonnie that don’t like it, but she seems sorta down with it, even if she’s a bit reluctant. Which obviously means that Ben was like “look literally even my parents aren’t in love with this idea I need someone in my corner Lonnie pls I will do your math homework for a month” and she went along with it bc THEY ARE BFFS.

Third point which is - Lonnie tries quite often to be their friend, initially in a way that looks like she was put up to it by someone else (...maybe...idk...Ben...) but then keeps trying

she’s one of the first to reach out to the four and she does so fairly early on

also. why would she go to them for magic hairdo she’s the kid of two big military leaders i am positive she has the money to go to a nice hairdresser or like, her grandmother.

she also comes across a bit better than chad and jane do - evie wants a boyfriend, chad plays on this by using her to do his homework, mal has to chase after jane and jane only stays bc mal makes her popular. the minute audrey and them accept jane, she drops mal fairly quickly. lonnie wants them to do something for her yeah, but she offers to pay for it, so it’s not like she’s taking advantage or anything.

her reaction after she gets her hair done like she’s SO EXCITED AND SHE WANTS MAL TO KNOW THAT and then she rips her skirt in a really obvious i’m-gonna-be-cool-like-you way

she continually reaches out to them, not just for her hair and her own gain but she goes when they’re making cookies and mentions everyone wants Mal to do their hair, which points to her talking Mal’s makeover skills up.

Which. LET ME TALK ABOUT THAT SCENE. She tries to make conversation during that scene, she offers help, she’s genuinely trying to be nice, and wants to know about their lives. And when their lives turn out to be worse than she thought, she doesn’t brush it off or blame them for t heir shitty lives like other characters do, she is KIND AND SYMPATHETIC and tries to offer comfort!!! It even seems to work for a half a second but you know, plot happens and all.

She also sits with the girls at the game even tho she obviously has other friends, but she reaches out anyway.

she is literally the only character besides Ben to constantly reach out to them, in what is initially a way that is her not happpy with it (like she’s been put up to it by a friend) but then keeps trying to be their friend

Piece the Fourth - evidence she’s friends (good friends!!) with Ben. [note: some of this would do better if I had gifs to back it up but I can’t gif. So I have caps, altho it might be a little hard to tell but it’s the best I can do sorry]

Again, first person to actively seek them out (Chad and Jane sorta fall into their laps, and Doug is their guide thing. She’s the one who makes first contact).

the way she phrases it “you hate us and well...you’re evil” strikes me as someone put her up to it. like your friend is like go talk to the new kid they seem nice and you’re like fine and you’re a bit of an asshole initially cuz u don’t want to be there. Considering the fact that Ben has seen they’re having some issues blending in, and then the weirdness of Mal chasing Jane into the bathroom, it would make sense that he’d want to make them feel more welcome so he sends a friend he knows won’t be a dick to go talk to them. Lonnie agrees bc Ben and also she’s nice.

She's so happy for Ben and Mal during Did I Mention

Like seriously she's like squealing and grabbing Mal and pointing at Ben, like there's excited and then there's Lonnie during that scene.

[Image Description: Lonnie smiling gleefully while Ben makes his way towards a nervous looking Mal]

^^^^^^^^^^^that is the face of a girl who wants her bff to date someone she approves of at long last

During the Family Day debacle, everyone else starts walking away after Chad wakes up, but she stays

[image description: Chad and Audrey walking away from Ben during Family Day, while Lonnie and Doug look on, Doug looking very dejected while Lonnie looks sad and possibly worried]

She starts walking towards Ben  

[image description: Lonnie has walked forward several steps towards Ben. Doug has a hand on her arm, and Ben looks on]

and only leaves when Doug takes her hand and literally pulls her away from Ben

[image description: Doug is pulling on Lonnie’s arm and walking away, pulling her with while Ben watches on, his shoulders sagging. Lonnie wears the same worried and sad look]

Later, she doesn't gossip like Jane or Audrey, she lookes upset like Doug and a bit mad about what just happened.She also loks v disappointed in Doug when he rejects Evie and then sorta shakes her head and looks annoyed when Jane and Audrey come over after they had just insulted Mal. I don’t have great caps for this bc she’s not the focus on the scene (this is where giffing skills would come in siiiigh) but I did find one cap that isn’t too terrible

[image description: doug sitting down after chad called him over from being with evie. lonnie watches doug, looking disappointed and a bit sad]

She does leave with the group but unlike everyone else, she doesn't look afraid, she's just pulling a Chad away from the group (probably stopping him from getting his ass put to sleep again bc come on nobody is happy during that scene)

So she very obviosly is not happy about this, attempts to comfort Ben, and is not ok with the petty shit Chad, Jane, and Audrey pull off, and disappointed in Doug not reaching out to Evie. To me, it seems less like she’s in with the other kids, and more like she feels very torn and not sure of how to react to the situation. So, similar to Doug - which, I was very annoyed with Doug and while it is disappointing that Lonnie wouldn’t say something either, peer pressure is a hell of a motivator and when you go to school with literal princes and princesses, that peer pressure is probably multiplied by 10000. Not to mention, we know characters like the dwarves are treated badly by Auradon per Isle of the Lost. While Mulan and Shang are human, they’re also not royalty and I wonder how well they would be treated. 

And then in Set It Off, she just jumps into the happy right away. She doesn’t need to be cheered up and she’s not a love interest, she’s just genuinely happy for everyone. Which is a) part of part three in that she’s just a really nice person and b) she’s happy bc her best friend is at least dating someone she likes I mean idk about any of you, but I’m always much happier when I approve of my friends’ dating choices

In conclusion I just love Lonnie so much, she’s so nice to the rotten four and she wants to give them a chance and I want Ben to have friends that actually support him and I want Lonnie to have friends that aren’t catty as hell and I think it would be cute if they were friends, I think there’s a decent amount of evidence that points towards them being friends, and it’s my headcanon and I say so :P

[rezby]

reminiscions, so to speak

I’ve been thinkin about this for a while, but havent really sat down to try to formulate this. But a lot of people whom I knew as teenagers or early 20s, when I was a teenager. There are sooo many people who are now (publically) trans, or at least not-cis, that I remember from back in jr high or high school, before anybody had really figured out The Genders. It makes me really glad, to see how many people are self-actualizing. I love to see the updates in their lives that they post on fb, at least the ones who haven’t defriended me. (This enjoyment is only a little vicarious, truth be told. It is mostly genuine happiness for them).

I know its very likely that I’ll never reconnect with any of the people with whom i’ve grown distant (not through any fault of their own. it really is 90% circumstances (everybody moving across the country, to either like boston or ... seattle? portland? Big Oregon City, or for those who are still local just issues of me not having a lot of free time with which to hang out with them) and 10% my hell brain self-sabotaging relationships/avoiding everything), but I often think about them and how they’re doing.

One of the people I’ve mentioned hasn’t defriended me on FB, and I still interact with their posts every now and then - I think a lot about the time when I was 16 and said some really horrific things to them without realizing just what I was saying. I’ve been feeling terrible about it, but I know I’ll never actually send them the apology I want to send - they deserve better than to be reminded of it out of the blue.

At one point last October, I was on this other person’s FB wall, i dont even remember why. sometime in like january or Dec, I saw a comment on somebody else’s status by somebody with the same last name as this person, with similar viewpoints. I click around, and figure out that this person has defriended me, and also publically came out on fb as trans. Last week I saw a photo posted of them with their sign at the chicago trans liberation march (which obvs I didnt go to, i’m not Out and I dont intend to be, until the time of my choosing, so i dont interact publically with Trans (tm) things. i’m fb friends with both my parents), and they looked really happy. Not about the occasion, but as a person, it looked like they had let an awful amount of weight off their shoulders. I remember them being as deeply unhappy as many of us  were, back in high school (a lot of us were deeply depressed. It just turns out for a few of us that the depression was tied to the Genders so getting stuff done for the one helped the other). So, I’m glad that theyve realized their gender and are happier for it. I also wonder (a lot) if thats why they defriended me - I’m not really out on fb, and since I haven’t spoken to this person in years they probs wouldn’t even know that I’m also non cis, so maybe they defriended me when they did their official fb transition stuff. I get it, it would make sense to, but... it still wounds me, a bit.

those two were a couple years older than me and I was never that close to ‘em in high school. this third person was in my grade and a couple classes with me, and.... I was a horrible person to them. Not intentionally, I’ve always had the best of intentions, but that doesn’t mean the actions i had done weren’t horribly misogynistic or racist. A few things I didn’t even realize until years later, what I actually had been doing. They defriended me a couple years back. They’re non-cis as well, but I dont know anything more specific than that.

That was the Complicated Feelings w/r/t the non-cis folk i knew in high school. I had some online friends whove also come to realize their own genders as well, who I’ve also grown apart form. This one was largely due to MSN messenger no longer being a thing, and then me getting busy with irl stuff and basically never being online anymore. I don’t really got any Complicated Feelings for most of this group, its mostly that I miss them but realize there’s p much no feasible way to get back into regular comms with them, and I’ve accepted that.

There was one person, who knew they were trans all the way back when I first met them. But they never talked about it with me. At least 85% of our conversations were political. At the time, I was in early high school, where I was a libertarian at the time. They were staunchly communist, I figure marxist is probs the best term for their beliefs but I’ll be honest, I know jack diddly squat about the academic details of the different schools of communist thought. Anyways, we chatted a lot on MSN back when that was around. At one point I started FB friending the other online friends I’ve got, but this person never actually accepted the friend request. its still in their inbox. I last talked to them about 3 or 4 years ago, I believe in my 2nd year of college. I asked why they hadnt accepted the friend request and they said somethin to the tune of ‘im an asshole lol’. this persons typing style is completely different from that but thats the effect my memory has of that message. Our conversation at the time also turned political. Now, after getting to college and having my eyes opened at, well, a lot of stuff, i’ve since become fairly leftist. probably communist? socialist? idk. Anyways, at the time, I was pretty caught up in the politics of one tumblr user Moneycat. If you weren’t around for that, the gist of it (as i recall) was that... actually, i honestly can’t recall the minutae or which parts werent very good. there are other posts going around from some years back that go over her politics and the flaws thereof. one of their ideas was that gender is a social class, inasmuch as bourgeoisie or proletariat are, and that trans women are a distinct social class from cis women and men. I had recently read one of her posts about how gender theorizing had led her to become a communist, and how the two were inextricably linked, and tbh she was this huge popular rly smart trans lady blogger so i p much hero worshiped her and adopted as many of her politics as i could understand. So I tried explaining this gender theory of communism to my old communist pal, and they were very displeased by it. I did a poor job, to be sure, but they disagreed staunchly. I dont remember the other details of what I was arguing but I do remember it was more out there than just what i’ve typed so far. Cuz I opened the conversation with “hey did you know that i’ve also become a communist now?” or somethin like that, and they were like ‘oh nice, how did you come to this conclusion?” and I went into moneycat’s gender communism and they did not agree. And that was our last conversation. and idk how to start conversations. Even tho we’re not fb friends, i can still IM them via fb, so the option is always open, but I never do it. I miss this person a lot, and its been hurting me for years that they never accepted the friend request. we actually had been decently close online (as far as I recall. i have poor memory at best in general, and there’s a good chance I actually have brain trauma that’s making my memory even worse but that appointment is in may). and they’re fb friends with all our mutual online friends. so its just me. i’m not good enoguh.

And I know if I actually ever made a snapchat I could probably easily get back in contact with literally everybody ever, I know for a fact that all but the last person have snapchats, and I’m p sure that they’d all be receptive to at least messages over it, but.... I tried making a snapchat once, and was immedietely conflicted. Do I go with my IRL name and snap with my family and classmates and colleagues? If I do that, I dont want to have my snapchat available online here cuz I want to maintain at least a veneer of separation between my online identity and my “family” “professional” identity.  Or do I go with my online name, but then refuse to snap w/ like my mom and sis? I ended up deleting the app and never doing anything with it. so I basically refuse to have a snapchat, and p much only have fb these days, which... is not the best method of communication.

Compounding this is my awkwardness with people i’ve known for a while - my memory really does get atrocious about some things, to the point where i’ve hung out with people for years before actually knowing 100% their name. this is deeply embarassing for me, and I dont wanna hurt em, so I dont let on that I dont remember their names. especially if i’ve known them for forever, but havent had a ton of meaningful interactions with them, theres a v good chance i’ll know them, i’ll recognize them, but i wont be able to drum up their name from the depths of my mind. this is awkward. so i sometimes avoid going to places where there are people who might fit this bill. some people from high school who I kinda knew and hung out in the same friend group as me, and a lot of my not immediate (step)relatives. so at the photos for the trans march, where I saw the photo of the one person from 2nd bullet point, I also saw a lot of other people from high school who I’d be awkward around. altho this reminds me, there was a 4th person actually, from high school as well. i think... they blocked me? i dot remember. i know they werent on fb a lot, but they were fb friends with me. i just went through my own friend list as well as that of 2 people who i thought would be mutuals with them but... i dont see them. I’m p sure i recall seeing like,,,, last year or 1.5 years ago that they had changed their fb name from their birth name to a feminine name, as well as changed their gender and all that other stuff that comes with coming Out? but I dont recall and I cant find em anymore. if they have blocked me.... oh well. nothin i can do about it. about any of it really. nothing that i’m going to do anyways.