#able to make anything better would get boring and i am thinking again about a post i saw ages ago that did pose the question of

[seellove]

Could You Stay a Little Longer // drug dealer!sukuna x reader

Masterlist

Chapter 4 // (8.8k words) // Explicit - 18+

\|/ AO3 - Chapter 4 | << Chapter 3 | Chapter 5 >>

You're pursuing a master degree across the country, but are currently back in your hometown housesitting for your parents. They've told you all about their undesirable new neighbor, but when you start to get to know said neighbor, you realize he isn't all that bad. Your controlling boyfriend won't let up on you and you grapple with enjoying the company of this drug dealing neighbor boy, Sukuna. Nothing about this is going the way you planned, but is it so bad to let yourself be treated well for a change?

The cultural setting for this is technically economically depressed, rural USA where good paying jobs are hard to come by and there's not many opportunities in small towns, but it could really be anywhere that meets this criteria!

Content Tags/Warnings Throughout Work: Reader and Sukuna are mid 20s, mentions of recreational drug use and drug dealing, mentions of abusive/controlling/manipulative relationship (not Sukuna), could possibly be considered cheating depending on your interpretation (not Sukuna), angst, smut, fluff, time skip, prison time, happy ending trust!

AN: FYI we go on a date but it's nothing super graphic. Also I don't know much about the inner workings of a relationship with an inmate, so I apologize if anything seems weird, I just hope I am capturing the complicated feelings that would come with it. Italicized portions are letters between us and Sukuna and bold time stamps are how many months have passed since Sukuna was arrested.

2 Months

Sukuna,

Sorry I haven’t reached out until now. It took awhile to figure out how to mail this to you, and it was hard to know what to say at first. I feel bad talking about my life out here knowing you are confined to a cell. Your lawyer told me your hearing is next month. Thank you for letting him contact me and keep me in the loop. Mr. Higuruma is a nice man and seems like a good lawyer. I don’t wanna to get my hopes up, but I’m optimistic that he can help make this better, maybe that’s just me in denial though.

Enough rambling, how are you though? Are you nervous? Scared? I’m sorry I’m so naive to what prison life is like…have you made friends? If that’s a stupid question just tell me. What’s your room like? I have so many questions, if this is annoying just tell me. The last thing I wanna do is irritate you considering you’ll get one of these every other month.

I’ve been able to hang out with my friends a lot since I got back home. When they heard I’d broken up with Cam, they were so happy. They never held it against me, but they truly didn’t know how else to help me while we were together because I wouldn’t listen to them. Having an outside party like you was really what I needed to finally cut the cord. It’s weird not being around him all the time, but I’m slowly learning how to trust myself and be independent again. 

Surprisingly he has pretty much left me alone. I think me cheating on him knocked him down a few pegs and made him see I’m not the huge pushover he made me out to be. Oh well, onto bigger and better things. 

The spring semester is almost over for me, I’m planning to teach some undergrad classes to make a little extra money but other than that I’m going to try and take it easy. Maybe do some hiking and camping, I’d like to climb some of the mountains out here so I’m going to start preparing for when the snow melts off the highest peaks.

I’ve included my address with this, so I hope you can write me back. I miss you, feel free to call me anytime. 

I hope this isn’t a weird sign off, but I do love you and hope you are okay. Don’t feel pressured to reciprocate.

3 months

Sukuna smiles when he sees the letter come in. The guard had slid it through the bars before he woke up so it was a nice surprise.

How am I? Fucking bored out of my mind, he thinks to himself, chuckling under his breath. You are so nice though and he appreciates how thoughtful you are, but goddamn anything you share is more interesting than what’s in here. Starting at a concrete wall and a steel wall of bars can only be so stimulating.

He won’t be calling you, that will just make things harder for him and you. He stands by his words of wanting you to have a normal life and leaving you to figure out whether or not you want to leave him behind. 

God he wants to reciprocate those three words. Nothing in his mind right now is constant, every day feels different even though the motions are the same: Wake up, breakfast, back to the cell, lunch, some yard time, back to the cell, dinner, back to the cell. Day in and day out.

While the physical routine is repetitive, his emotions and feelings are a roller coaster, never knowing how he will feel when he wakes up in the morning and when his head hits the pillow at night. He has no idea what his future holds, everything in the hands of some damn judge who just knows him by his charges and a lawyer who probably just sees him as another paycheck. He’ll get paid whether he wins or loses.

The only thing he can be sure of is his love for you, and that grounds him just a little. The thought that someone outside these walls cares and worries for him brings some comfort in those moments of panic.

Sukuna’s parents were beside themselves when they heard and offered no support. He tried to explain himself, but to them, it was just another failure in the litany of fuckups that was his adult life. 

How could he blame them? He just got lucky he met you when he did, you didn’t know him as the kid who could never get his shit together, who’d let everyone down for years. The piece of shit who wasted his parent’s money and time. 

Then again, you are joining him on this next chapter of his life which will surely be nothing but him disappointing you, so maybe you’ll feel the same way by the time he gets out, or more likely, sooner than that and drop his ass. This is why he doesn’t want to get his hopes up. 

He reads the letter over and over while lying on his bunk and eventually starts to read it every night before bed. Touching the same paper that your hands held before you sealed it up, the smeared ink that he can tell you brushed by accident brings him a comfort that he can’t explain. Maybe if he’s lucky, you kissed it before sliding it into the envelope. 

He stares up at the same ceiling he’s been looking at for three months now. Sukuna’s not sure if he’s slowly starting to lose his mind, but he swears he can discern patterns and shapes in the texture of the material. Squinting his eyes, he tries to put a name to the shapes, but it all just looks like a jumbled mess, an accurate representation of his current mental state.

His mind wanders to you as it normally does, the crushing feeling of shame and remorse settling in as he thinks about how he could be with you right now if he hadn’t stopped driving, if he’d let that family die. 

Having nothing to do but think all day does dangerous things to his mind. Once he gets sentenced and settled for a while, things should get better and he should get to participate in the various prison programs and activities available to a long term inmate. For now all he can do is work out and watch his pink hair get longer and messier. Oh and overthink every millisecond of his life to date and wonder what you were doing and who you were thinking about when you’re alone.

He prays you won’t hate him, but he wouldn’t blame you if you did when it’s all said and done.

4 months

Tomato girl!

Long time no talk. I’m assuming you know what my sentencing is from Mr. Hiruguma. Ten years with the opportunity for parole. Shit sucks, I’m determined to hopefully get this parole though, whenever that is. Mr. H said usually after serving a quarter to a third of the time they’ll reassess, but he said depending on the needs of the prison system and if they need more space, inmates can get moved around or even moved to parole early. 

How am I doing? Honestly, scared, sad, bored, any and all combinations of these words. 

Some things I am hopeful about though? Now that I’ve been processed and placed in my new home (long term detention facility :P) I can start participating in the prison programs. Thankfully I was deemed not a threat or a danger to others and myself, so I was able to go to a lower security facility that is focused on rehabilitation. I should be able to finish my degree, AND, they have trade programs I can get into as well. Pretty cool right? I had no idea this was even a thing. 

So maybe my plans aren’t as out of reach as I thought, just a bit delayed. It’s the first glimmer of hope I’ve felt in months. There is something relieving about not being caught up in a life of moving drugs and running an empire. Like I can finally just breathe and start over. Obviously being locked up is not the ideal way I’d have liked to do that, but I’m grasping at anything positive at this point.

I’ve made a few friends since coming to my new facility. My cellmate, Gojo, was a dealer from a rival organization. There’s some bad blood, but at the end of the day we respect each other. He wants to be better too, he’s got a girl on the outside, so we have that in common. He has a kid though he hasn’t seen. He got her pregnant right before he got arrested so she was born while he was incarcerated. He’s never met her, never seen her first anything. It makes me sad and it’s not even my kid. 

…you aren’t pregnant with a little mini me are you? The thought never crossed my mind until I met him and told him about you. I might actually lose it if that’s the case. I wouldn’t hate it though, it would just mean I’m the fuckin’ man and have the most elite swimmers ha. Just wouldn’t want to leave you alone to go through that.

Fuck Cam, don’t wanna hear about him anymore. He’s lucky I’m locked up is all I can say. I’m glad he’s gone for good. 

Please share anything and everything, I wanna hear it all. Also ask me random questions, nothing is off limits.

Hiking and camping sound awesome, I haven't done that in years but now I want to when I get out. I love fishing too. Something so relaxing when it’s just you and the river. Even if I didn’t catch anything, it was never a wasted day in my eyes.

Hopefully I’ll have a more interesting update when I’m more settled, but I guess for now I’ll just buckle up for this ten year long ride and hope some luck is on my side.

With love and a kiss on the cheek,

Sukuna

PS - do you ever seen patterns or objects in the texture of ceilings? Let me know, I’m collecting data.

5 months

You practically drop all your mail when you see the letter from Sukuna in your slot in the mail room. It takes all your willpower to wait to tear it open until you get up to your apartment.

You sit down on the couch and carefully open the envelope, not trusting yourself to stay standing once you finally lay eyes on it.

His lawyer had unfortunately shared the news about the sentencing and it had broken you when you heard. 

Your friends knew about the man behind bars. You’d shared the story one day when they dragged it out of you after breaking down in tears, overwhelmed by everything. They were very supportive and listened to everything you had to share, but also felt Sukuna wasn’t completely off base with wanting you to live your life. Ten years was a long ass time and it seemed unrealistic to expect you to wait for someone you’d known for so little time.

At one of your wine nights, you’d found his social media pages to show them what he looked like. Going through old pictures of young Sukuna had you all laughing, he was such a little punk and must’ve thought he was the hottest shit in high school and college with that fratty attire. White backwards hats over a mess of pink hair while holding red solo cups surely full of some kind of cheap beer with a cigarette hanging out of his mouth seemed to be his staple. You wished you could tease him in person but through a letter would have to do. 

They agreed though that his most recent pictures were hot and were very proud of you for fucking him all night.

Speaking of that, you were absolutely not pregnant. You can’t deny that the thought crossed your mind given how many times he’d blown his load inside you, but that birth control held strong, leaving you childfree. You can’t even fathom how much worse this could have been, raising your felon baby daddy’s child by yourself for ten years. Your parents would have just been thrilled. 

Which by the way, they knew nothing about what happened. Well, not exactly nothing, but an abridged version. Just that you’d met the neighbor and hung out with him a few times while you were house sitting. They were unaware of the anguish and suffering that had followed as everything blew up in your face.

7 months

Papa Kuna,

Let’s address the elephant in the room, you are not going to be a dad, at least with me…not sure about anyone before me though :D

That’s great that you get along with your cellmate. I’m sure it’s a little less lonely in there with someone you can at least interact with. I think being scared and nervous is completely normal. You got dropped into an unknown place where you knew nobody and had no idea how things operate, who wouldn’t be affected?

The news about your degree and trade school…that is so fantastic!! I looked into it too and sure enough, that’s a thing in other prisons. I hope they’ll see you want to be better when you get out and that helps your parole chances. 

I stalked your social media and saw some pictures of high school and college Sukuna. You were…something haha. Showed my friends too, we all had a good laugh, but we all agreed you were a cutie. I was so lame at that age you’d never have looked my way, I’m lucky I met you when I did. 

What is prison food like? I’ve been cooking a lot of Mexican food lately, throwing anything and everything into a taco. 

I’ve climbed three mountains so far this summer. I’ll have to show you the pictures one day, for now enjoy this stick figure drawing of me on a mountain at the bottom. I didn’t look nearly as happy as that horrible drawing shows me, more like a hot mess gasping for breath. But the views were amazing! I could see for an eternity it felt like, and I was really proud of myself for doing something like that. 

My classes I teach are full of some real brats. A lot of them are having to retake the class in the summer to stay on track and they just have the worst attitudes and seem to take it out on me. Like guys I didn’t tell you to fail, I’m just here. I don’t get paid enough for that shit.

Staring up at my ceiling now, I can see a few things. A dog, an alligator, and a banana are what I’m sort of seeing. What do you see? 

For your random questions:

Did you play any sports growing up? I played soccer and basketball.

What’s been your favorite vacation? Mine was a trip to a national park seeing all the animals. Especially grizzly and black bears.

What did you want to be when you grew up? I wanted to be a doctor but realized I’m scared of blood so quickly abandoned such endeavors.

Lots of love and a kiss on your dick,

Tomato girl

8 months

Sukuna’s jaw hit the floor with a gasp when he saw your sign off and then he got way too hard with the visual that bulldozed all rational thought out of his brain. 

“You good bro?” Gojo laughs from the other side of the cell, watching Sukuna’s face flush.

“No, not really,” Sukuna groans, staring up at the ceiling and adjusting himself as best he can. There’s no shame in here, no privacy, no secrecy, so he doesn’t really care.

“Get a sexy message?” Gojo teases. “If you did lemme see, gotta take what we can get in here.”

“She made a reference to sucking my dick,” Sukuna laughs, folding up your letter and tucking it under his pillow. “And no you can’t read it, for my eyes only.”

“Oh being possessive are we? Thought you said you two weren’t exclusive like that.” 

“Doesn’t mean I don’t love and adore her. I just can’t have her to myself right now,” Sukuna scoffs, pulling his shirt off now that he’s all hot and bothered. 

“Think she’s seeing other people?” Gojo asks. 

Sukuna shifts in discomfort at the thought. The images of you kissing his cock combined with the possibility of you getting fucked by someone else results in a whirlwind of emotions that he’s not sure how to process.

“I really hope not, but who am I to say? I don’t really wanna know honestly. Just want her to be there when I get out. I’d be okay never knowing. What about you?” 

“She better not be! Utahime better not bring my one year old daughter around other guys!” Gojo exclaims. “My daughter better never be around guys for that matter. Would you want your daughter hanging around pieces of shit like us?”

“Fuck no bro.”

Both guys laugh in response before Sukuna speaks again.

“Is she gonna bring the baby to see you?” 

“I told her not to until she’s older. While I’m dying to hold her, I don't want her coming to a place like this so young. It’s not right. It kills me to miss out on her firsts and knowing I left Utahime to be a single mom makes me feel like a disgrace. All I can do is make it up to her when I get out,” Gojo sighs, eyes getting glossy with tears. “What if your girl had gotten pregnant?”

Sukuna pauses before speaking. A part of him would love it. So full of something he made with you except for no one would know it’s his. People would see you pregnant and not realize you belong to him considering he’s locked away. Plus his baby being fatherless for a majority of their underage life is sickening. 

Then what? He randomly appears ten years later to a woman and child who don’t even know him? He’d be just another man to his child…a stranger. He swallows hard, trying to maintain his composure but he’s spiraling faster than he can keep up with. 

Lord knows he wanted that with you. He fell so fucking hard and now here he was thinking about you as his wife and making the cutest babies. His throat feels heavy at the sad realization that he might never have that with you.

“It probably would’ve been best if she didn’t keep it,” Sukuna says softly, not wanting an ounce of that even though it would have been the most logical decision. 

Fuck why did he feel like he was fighting a tsunami from breaking through his eyes? He turns away from Gojo to face the wall, the gravity of his situation starting to crush him all of a sudden. Not only did he have the luxury of continuing your relationship normally, but he might have missed out on you choosing to spend the rest of your life with him, a family together, growing old and watching your kids grow up. He’s never had thoughts like this before and of course the first time he does, it’s tearing him apart. 

Shouldn’t something like that be happy? Sure he had stupid relationships when he was younger but normally it was his girlfriends spouting such nonsense while he was just in it for a good time, never thinking long term. 

Not you though. A good time would surely have been a given, but he’d been excited to face the challenges of life together, learning and growing as one. Life’s normal challenges, not this fucked up series of events.

He feels a firm hand on his arm, lightly tugging him to roll over. His eyes are burning as he squints hard, trying to hold back everything threatening to spill over from his crimson gaze.

“Sukuna, look at me,” Gojo’s voice is soft but firm.

“Fuck off man.” Sukuna’s shaky voice tries to force out, but his whole body is shaking, heart pounding so hard he feels like it might burst.

“No, turn around. It’s okay. You think I’ve never been where you are? You’re panicking. I get it. Talk to me, you can only bottle up shit for so long in here.”

Sukuna finally surrenders, rolling back around to face his cellmate. 

“I just, I-I really loved her. So damn much. And I tried to push her away, albeit gently, when I got locked up. I wanted her to be able to live a normal life, but I don’t fuckin’ want that man. I never did, I wanted us to be together, I still do. But I feel so helpless, I have no control over our future, I feel like one day she’ll stop writing back, and then I’ll know she found someone else. Fuck I feel like such a loser for even saying this shit,” Sukuna starts to cry, wiping the tears from his eyes in this moment of weakness.

Gojo just listens, not chiming in, soft blue eyes full of empathy for his cellmate…no, his friend. The only real friend in here. He understands, prison can break a man and do things to your mind that you’d never think possible on the outside. Even the toughest criminals with a bloodied past have someone they care about, someone who loves them. Being without them during life’s most challenging time is a terrifying and trying time. 

“It’s okay man, how could you not feel this way? You’re a good guy, you don’t deserve to be in here. We all had dreams of how our life would go and how we wanted to be better, that’s why we are in a rehab facility and not maximum security. Watching what could have been slip through your fingers is horrifying. Have you thought about telling her how you really feel? If you really love her, you owe it to her to be honest. She still writes you all the time…”

You also try to schedule visitation but Sukuna declines them all. For what? He doesn’t even fucking know. He’d kill to feel you wrapped up in a massive hug, your body pressed against his, your scent in his nose as he buries his face in your neck. 

He thought it was incredibly selfish to want you to wait for him, but maybe what he’s doing is even worse. Trying to control and manipulate your feelings like this suddenly seems wrong, no better than your ex. You have free will to do what you want, and if waiting for him was what you choose, who is he to fight you on that? 

He feels like he’s going to pass out, breaking out into a cold sweat, breaths so shallow he can’t even tell if oxygen is getting to his lungs.

“Here, get on the floor, take your pants off so you’re just in your boxers,” Gojo says sternly, yanking Sukuna out of his bed onto his back.

The cold hard floor takes Sukuna by surprise, offering a distraction from his racing thoughts. He spreads his arms out, letting the chill touch every inch of his skin, staring up at the ceiling, eyes searching for something, anything. 

He swears he sees a heart. A lopsided one at that, but it’s there, even if it looks like it’s about to break. Kind of like him, all this time he’s been trying to break your heart, but the best he’s done is bend it and likely just confuse you. 

His however? 

He’s broken it without even knowing. 

He needs to talk to you. He can’t wait another two months to get a response. He’ll call you, hopefully you’ll pick up but he wouldn’t blame you if you didn’t. He’s been forcing you to live life on his terms, withholding multiple lines of communication this whole time. 

The guilt is gnawing at his stomach, the acid boring a hole in his gut as he tries to keep himself from vomiting in disgust. 

“I fucked up Gojo. I really did.”

“I don’t think you’re as bad off as you think. She still writes to you, apparently sent you something sexual, and asks you questions about your life. She wouldn’t be doing that if she didn’t care. She just would stop. But fucking call her you piece of shit. Acting like the phone is your mortal enemy like a little bitch, quit being a pussy and man up,” Gojo says, only half teasing. 

As much as Sukuna wants to argue with Gojo, he knows he’s right. White haired fuck.

Fuck that guy. 

Now he’s nervous like a teenager to call you. How pathetic to be 24 years old and terrified to talk to a girl you said loved…to her face. 

9 months

My favorite tomato girl,

Great questions at the end. I played football, quarterback to be exact. Your cliche high school jock that thought he was way too cool. Also I think I’d have liked you in high school just fine, I wasn’t above being friends with anyone, maybe if I’d hung out with you I’d have had a better future cuz you know what’s not cool? Jail.

My favorite vacation? Probably African safari for my high school graduation. I got to choose anywhere for a trip and I chose that. Seems we have wanting to see animals in common, my favorites were the lions. Guess when I get out we will need to plan some animal themed vacations. Polar bears in Canada, manatees in Florida, whale sharks in Mexico, take your pick, I’ve got enough fucking cash to fund anything you want.

What did I want to be when I grow up? When I was really little I wanted to be a chef, then when I was older I wanted to do something with cars and also have my own business. As you know I love working on my own car so I wanted to mod people's cars for a living. And…well here I am. 

When I stare up at my ceiling, I see a heart.

Also sometimes a truck. I’ll need to lay in other parts of my cell to see if there is anything else, that’s just above my bed.

I’m glad I’m not gonna be a dad yet. I’d prefer to do that together when I’m out…so you aren’t doing it alone. Give it some thought and maybe one day we can try for one…if you’d want it to be with me that is. 

I don’t want to burden you with my feelings, but I’m not doing well. It’s like the realization that this is my life for the next ten years suddenly hit me the other day. You’re the only person I can talk to though outside of here, I hope you are willing to entertain these feelings of mine. 

My cellmate Gojo is decent at listening, he’s been in here a little longer than me so he gets it, it’s nice to feel not so alone in that regard. 

I’m sorry, I’m rambling, almost treating this like a diary I guess. I want to call you, but I’m really nervous for some reason. If you don’t want to talk to me I understand, you can just ignore the call, but I wanted to wait long enough for you to get this letter before I did. I didn’t want you to get it out of the blue. 

I miss you tremendously, I really hope you’ll answer.

You read the letter as you are about to walk out the door to go out. 

Out on a date. 

You wanted to take Sukuna up on his request for you to try to see other people. The man had very little in the way of freedom to do what he wanted, so the least you could do was honor his wishes.

Your heart sinks and you feel a shiver run down your spine. The letter has you concerned for him, his mental state seems to have declined rapidly if he wanted to call you, something he swore he’d never do. 

You leave the letter on your kitchen table, you’ll revisit it later. For now, your Uber is waiting outside your apartment and you don’t want to keep your date waiting.

Slipping into the backseat, you greet the driver and settle in, buckling the seatbelt and pulling your phone out. You begin to scroll social media but eventually stop, opting to stare out the window instead at the buildings whizzing by. 

It’s been nine months since you last saw Sukuna, since you last heard his voice. One letter every other month was all the contact you had, but it’s how he wanted things to be. If you had it your way, you’d have talked more often, but his boundaries were more stringent than yours. He had his reasons you suppose.

This would be your first date since Cam. You and Sukuna never truly went on a date. Maybe you could call eating dinner at his house one, even though it had ended badly. Fucking all night hardly constituted a date either, but you’d gotten to know each other slowly up until that point. It felt more natural than meeting someone on an app and going in blind like you were right now. 

A pang in your chest was starting to develop. This isn’t what you wanted, you didn’t want another man, but you wouldn’t know for sure unless you put yourself out there.

The car abruptly stops, signaling the end of your ride. Thanking the driver, you get out and turn towards the trendy looking bar where you were meeting. 

Just go in there, the worst that can happen is you aren’t having a good time and you can just leave. You don’t even know the man, dating app meetups end this way all the time.

You swallow hard one last time and head inside, eyes darting around the room looking  for the guy you were meeting. Finally your eyes lock onto the familiar face you recognize from his profile. 

He stands up, smiling at you and waving you over. The first thing you notice is that he’s tall and muscular. The pictures kind of hinted at that, but in person it’s even more obvious.

“Nanami right?” you say nervously as you approach, holding out your hand to shake his. His handshake is firm but gentle, dress shirt cuffed up at his forearms which flex as he grips your hand.

“Yep, so glad you could meet today. I just got off work, how about you?” his voice is low but confident as he pulls your chair out for you.

Wow, what a gentleman. 

“I was in the lab most of today. I’m doing the last touches on my research before I really dive into my thesis,” you respond, scooting your chair in as he takes his seat opposite of you. 

“You said you should be graduating in a few months right?” Nanami says as he leans his elbows on the table, paying close attention to you. 

“Yes! Then it’s off to find a job,” you laugh, trying to settle into the small talk. The pit in your stomach is still gnawing at your insides as you attempt to relax. Maybe a drink will help settle you out. 

You order a simple gin and tonic while Nanami opts for a beer. Thankfully your drink is strong which should hopefully give you a quick buzz and calm your nerves. 

“So you’re in finance?” you ask, trying to keep the conversation flowing.

“Yep, investment banking. Not the most exciting job in the world, and I don’t like it enough for all the hours I work,” he glances down at the table while speaking, fingers trembling lightly against his glass.

Maybe he’s a little nervous too. You give him an encouraging smile in response.

“I’m sorry if it seems like I’m nervous,” you begin, “I haven’t dated in almost a year since I broke up with my ex. Then some stuff happened in my personal life, so I’m kind of testing the waters so to speak.”

That’s a generous way to put it, you think to yourself. Do you even mention Sukuna? Your boyfriend of a grand twelve hours that technically never broke up with you but told you to see other people? Who you won’t see again for a decade? 

Your throat feels heavy at the thought. Trying to push the feeling away, you take a big sip of your drink. 

“That’s okay. I haven’t dated since college two years ago. My job has been so demanding, I’ve never felt like I could devote time to a relationship,” Nanami says, sympathy in his eyes. “We can just take this slow, no pressure.”

The relief you should feel from his words doesn’t come, if anything you just feel guilty. You don’t want to lead the man on and you also feel disingenuous about keeping Sukuna a secret. Which in itself also seems disrespectful to Sukuna. 

What in the world have you gotten yourself into?

You try to remember what you told yourself earlier. Just see where it goes. 

“Thank you Nanami, I’d like that. Let’s just have fun and see where this goes,” you answer with a smile and another big sip of your drink.

Your hypothesis was correct in that the more you drank, the easier the conversation flowed and soon you both were bantering and laughing about your shared grievances with college and the working world. Nanami was a smart, well educated man who could hold an intelligent conversation which was right up your alley.

After a few shared appetizers and two more drinks, the bar was starting to fill up with the late night crowd. Nanami was very adamant about getting a good night's sleep before work, as were you, so he paid the bill and led you outside.

“Wanna come hang out at my place? Still have a few more hours before I should go to bed,” he asks, resting his hand on the small of your back. 

His heavy touch sent sparks through your body, warming your skin in the evening chill. You really enjoyed his company. Plus he was hot and respectful, a man of such tasteful flirting that wasn’t too over the top but made you feel comfortable and desired.

“Is this you asking me what I think you’re asking?” you give him a small grin, moving closer to him as his hand pressed you forward.

“Maybe. Like I said though, no pressure. I’ve just found your company to be enjoyable enough that I’m not really wanting the night to end just yet. I’ll be happy with whatever we decide to do after this,” he says with a kind smile. 

Fuck, why was he so nice? It’s not like you were complaining, but it really gave you no good reason to say no. You hadn’t planned on hooking up with someone tonight, but fuck it, you were really starting to lean that way. 

You missed feeling intimate and cared for by someone. The feeling of someone pleasuring you and feeling their skin on yours was a distant memory. Technically it had been years because lord knows Cam didn’t give you that feeling and Sukuna was essentially a one night stand given what transpired. 

You stand up on your toes, pull Nanami down by his loosened tie, and plant a soft kiss on his lips. His strong arms move to wrap around your back, hands not venturing any lower than your hips as he pulls you closer, swiping his tongue across your bottom lip. You part your lips, letting his tongue entwine with yours in a calm and slow dance. 

Fuck, you wanted to have sex with the man. He felt safe and respectful, which is what you needed right now. It wasn’t even about the emotional connection, you needed something physical. 

Making out on the sidewalk leads to straddling him on his couch in a high rise apartment, his hot breath on your neck as you ground yourself against his lap. 

Your eyes flicker open as the image of Sukuna pops into your head. The first time you’d ever kissed him was in a similar position on his couch, except you’d panicked and stopped, feeling like you were being unfaithful. 

Why did it feel like you were about to be again? He’d given you permission to do this, and you weren’t even sure if he actually wanted you after trying to push you away and denying everything you countered with. You’d never felt like you had physical needs before, but after that night with Sukuna, you were desperate to feel something similar again. Someone worshipping your body and focusing on pleasing you. 

“Wait,” you force out, briefly pulling away from Nanami.

“Is everything alright?” he stops immediately, hands hovering behind your back. 

“Yes, but I just want to be honest with my intentions,” you say with a shaky voice.

“Here, sit next to me,” Nanami guides you towards the spot next to him on the couch, eyes softly looking into yours as he waits for you to continue. 

“I, um, it’s complicated. Fuck, I’m sorry,” you shake your head trying to compose yourself. 

“Hey, we can stop if you want…” Nanami says, studying you carefully.

“I-I don’t know. It’s just, almost a year ago I met a guy. I loved him, I saw a future with him. But something bad happened and he’s, well, he’s in jail now. For ten years. We made it official and then twelve hours later, bam! Arrested. He didn’t want me to wait for him, so I’m trying to honor his wishes…” you start to spill everything while Nanami just listens, not interrupting. Your face heats up in embarrassment as you spew all of this at a stranger.

“I just feel guilty for enjoying this with you. And I wouldn’t want this to have any emotional meaning, just sex. Because I love him, and I don’t think I’ll ever love you, or anyone else right now. But I feel like I should at least try. And you seem so kind and respectful, but I don’t want you to feel used or taken advantage of,” you say, looking back at him. You have no idea what kind of response you are going to get, putting yourself in his shoes you can’t imagine what you’d say. Holy baggage.

“Wow, that’s a lot. Are you okay? Not just physically, but in general?” Nanami asks, the sympathy in his eyes is apparent. 

“I’m as okay as I can be,” you respond. “It’s been almost a year so I’ve kinda accepted it.” 

“I see. Well I’m sorry that happened to you, that must be so incredibly hard. I can’t imagine being in that situation and I bet there’s only a very small population of people who could truly understand what you are going through. If it’s just sex you want, I can respect that, and I won’t judge you. Truthfully, I’m not looking for anything serious either right now. I can assure you I won’t try to take you from him or sway your feelings if all you are looking for is some physical relief. But maybe you should take a bit to see if this is what you really want. I’m not sure what it’s like communicating with someone inside prison, but maybe talk to him, and if he’s okay with it, we can try again,” Nanami says, clasping your hands between his and pulling them to his lips. 

Tears begin to prick at your eyes as you absorb his words. This guy was so caring and you’d only known him for a few hours.

“I’m so sorry, this can’t be what you had in mind for tonight,” you chuckle as you wipe your eyes repeatedly. 

“I still had a good time regardless and worst case, I met a nice person who I could see being friends with. Life happens,” Nanami smiles, rubbing your back before going to fetch your coat from the closet.

Sukuna said he would call you in the letter you left at home. You’ll ask him one more time what he wants, and if he gives you some bullshit answer, then you’ll go back to Nanami. 

An hour later you are home, more confused than ever. Thank god Nanami was a good man, you both knew you would regret going further and decided to pause everything. You take Sukuna’s letter to your room and read it again. This time you realized your fists were clenched around the paper, wrinkling it from the way your fingertips twisted the delicate material. 

You were pissed. You’d been nothing but honest with Sukuna that last day, seeing him in person about wanting to stay loyal to him, but he couldn’t grant you the same. Instead he seemed to be dancing around the topic which resulted in this train wreck of a night. If he were here right now you’d slap the tattoos right off his jawline and demand him tell you how he really felt. 

It’s the least he could do, he wasn’t the only one with a mental state on the decline. 

10 months

“This is a collect call from an inmate at the Southeastern Regional Jail, press 7 to accept.” 

At 9AM you received a call from an unknown number and you were shocked to hear this. 

You sat there staring at first, unsure if you wanted to answer. All your pent up anger from the other night suddenly evaporated and fear was the only thing left. 

The prompt played 2 more times before you finally smashed the 7 button.

“Hello?” 

“Oh thank god you picked up,” Sukuna’s voice answers on the other line. Your breath hitches as his deep tone reverberates through your ear. You exhale loudly, not realizing you were holding your breath. Briefly you mute the phone as you try to control your breathing, trying to take deep breaths and calm yourself.

“Are you there? Hello?” Sukuna says your name almost frantically while you are trying to regain your composure.

“I’m here, sorry, I just can’t believe it’s really you. I haven’t heard your voice in so long,” your voice cracks as you hold back a sob. This is all you’ve wanted this entire time, not realizing finally hearing him would affect you this way.

“It’s okay. For what it’s worth, I’m sorry too. That's actually what I wanted to talk to you about,” he continues, sighing audibly. 

“Well I have an earful to give you as well Sukuna, but why don’t you go first.”

“What? Why am I getting an earful?!” his whiny voice responds with a tinge of fear. 

You just sit silently for now, taking everything in you to not just explode at him.

“I know I deserve it, I just didn’t know you felt so strongly and it makes me feel worse,” he continues.

“Enough of the cryptic shit Sukuna, I have no idea what you are talking about,” you start crying.

“Okay okay, I’m here. Please just say what you need to say,” Sukuna’s voice deepens as if he’s trying to contain his emotions now.

“Do you want to be with me Sukuna? Like, actually want to be committed to each other? Only each other? And don’t give me any of this bullshit like ‘yes I do, but blah blah’. It’s yes or no. Enough beating around the bush,” you say sternly.

“Fuck you’re scaring me, where is this coming from?” he pauses before speaking. 

“I went out with another guy the other night and started to have sex with him, Sukuna. That’s what this is about, this is what it’s come to.”

“Shit…ahhh shit! Fuck!” Sukuna curses before going totally silent. Everything in you wants to apologize but you hold your ground. You refuse to apologize for this. 

“Wh-wh-what do you mean started to? What does that mean? Oh god I don’t know what to say…” his voice stutters and cracks, registering the pain in his words. 

“I told you point blank at the prison that I wanted to be loyal to you, but you shut me down and left it ambiguous. You told me you didn’t want me to wait for you, you told me you wanted me to try and move on, to see other people. So I tried Sukuna. I tried the other day. But we stopped because I still love you. How can I fuck someone else when you’re all I want?” you start crying, forcing out the words as best you can. “Y-you seem like you don’t want that with me though. You don’t want to talk to me, don’t want to see me, made it seem like you didn’t care if I strayed from you. So I’ll ask you again, do you actually want to be with me?” you say through a combination of sobs and hiccups.

“Oh my god, yes! That’s why I called you!” his pitch is higher as his voice cracks again. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. Fuck! The truth is I don’t want you to be with anyone else! I’m sorry I wasn’t honest. I want to be together, I want to be loyal to each other. God willing you do too, but I don’t blame you if you don’t want that. 

“Listen, I - ah - fucked up. Real bad. I don’t know why I wasn’t honest back then, it was shitty of me. I don’t hold it against you for going out with someone and going however far you did, I don’t wanna know specifics so please don’t tell me. It is what it is. I never meant to put you in this position, I thought I was doing the right thing, but I realized I wasn’t and I love you more than anything. It was manipulative, I didn’t give you a direct answer and because of that, you had no agency in this, and that’s not okay.” he says through sniffles as his voice gets harsh with emotion. 

“Then why did you say those things?” you say through choked back tears.

He sighs again and you can hear him crying in the background before trying to speak again.

“I just felt so guilty. Felt like a shitty man to put you in this situation after promising you the fucking world. I didn’t want you to feel trapped, but I didn’t even listen to how you felt. It was selfish. I understand if you hate me-“

“You’re right I do fucking hate you,” you interupt him. “If I could pull you down by your stupid pink hair and slap your stupid jaw tattoos around and knock some sense into you I would. 

“I hate that you made me fall in love with you, that you’re the first thing I think of when I wake up and the last thing I see when I go to sleep. I hate when I wake up and you weren’t in my dreams, the one place where you and I can actually feel real right now because you refuse to fucking interact with me. I hate that I need to wait for you. I waited my whole life to find you and now I need to wait even longer,” you ramble on, crying into your pillow and twisting your nails into your sheets. 

“I hate that I can’t hear your laugh, can’t see your stupid goofy smile, can’t feel your soft touch. Fuck Sukuna I hate all of this. But I hate the thought of anyone else even more, so your godforsaken ass is worth the wait. I’ve already done it once,” you say with a humorless laugh, mouth dry and scratchy, eyes burning as you pour everything out into the open, holding your breath as you wait for his response. 

He’s silent and unresponsive. Fearing the call dropped, you were about to lose it if he didn’t hear anything you said. 

“Hello?” 

“I’m here sweetheart. You really mean all that?”

“What the fuck, of course I did. Boy I swear I would beat your ass if you were here, dense ass motherfucking-”

“I’m sure you didn’t mean that to be romantic at all, but I’m at a loss for words,” he interrupts with a chuckle. What you don’t know is now he’s leaning against the concrete prison wall, biting his tongue and looking all giddy as he tries to replay everything you just said over and over in his mind. 

“You think this is funny?” you lash out again. Holy shit this man is testing your patience.

“Kinda yeah. I’m just such a fucking idiot, I’m laughing at my asinine behaviour. I’m so relieved though to hear you say those things. You really love me huh?” he says and you are sure he’s fighting back the biggest grin.

“You’re smiling right now aren’t you?” you say more calmly than before. 

“Yup, got a big ole smirk on my face. And crying. You make me happy. It’s happy tears.”

“You make me happy too. And insane. But also insanely happy, even from a concrete cell,” you feel a laugh escape your lips. 

“Fuck, wish I could scoop you up and fucking break your little bones from hugging you so hard,” his voice is more husky and even now.

“Um ouch? A little violent don’t you think?” 

“I don’t mean it literally. Just that I wish I could be close to you. It’ll be worth it though. One day.” 

“Yes it will. Can you actually call me from now on? Also what’s this about wanting to try for a baby when you get out? When did I ever say I wanted one?” you blurt out, remembering that insane part of his last letter.

“Yes I will call. I can’t call often, maybe once a week at most. It’s pricey and I wanna have money left for me when I get out…well for us. 

“And yeah, about that. See my cellmate got his girl pregnant right before he got put in here and he got me all paranoid since I busted in you about six times that night. But then I was like well if we are mid to late thirties when I get out, better get to it since time isn’t on our side”

You burst out laughing but feel your heart swell at his words picturing little pink haired terrors running around his house. 

“Well you need to get your degrees and trades or whatever in order. I’m not footing the bill for all of us because for some reason I don’t see you being able to keep your hands off of me to stop at just one,” you tease.

“Oh please, don’t act all high and mighty. I saw you that night, begging to take every last drop-“

“Oh my god can people hear you?!” you squeal, interrupting him.

“Um, darling it’s a bunch of dudes locked up in here with no females to be found. You just get used to being shameless after a while. Like when we are done here I’m gonna go tell Gojo to look the other way while I jerk off.”

You practically choke on your own saliva. What the actual fuck?

“Uh, wow, okay. That’s pretty wild Sukuna not gonna lie.”

“I do the same for him after he’s talked to his girl. He owes me, horny little fuck,” Sukuna scoffs. 

“Oh, the call is gonna end in a few minutes. I’ll try to call you every other week on Saturdays around this same time. Sound good?” Sukuna changes the topic as the warning sound chimes over the phone.

“That sounds good. Keep writing too. I like it, it’s special and I look forward to it,” you respond, feeling the weight that was heavy on your heart start to feel a little lighter.

“Of course I will. Anything for you. I love you. So so soooooo muuuuuch,” he says in that whiny voice of his that just makes you smile and shake your head. He’s your whiny Kuna though and you love it. 

“I love you too Kuna, talk to you later.”

The call ends and the tears come again. Except this time they’re tears of joy. Relief. Filled with hope for what’s to come. Almost a year down with so much more to go, but at least now you know where you stand. Plus now you have calls to look forward to as you inch your way closer to being reunited. 

<< Chapter 3 | Chapter 5 >>

Masterlist

taglist: @clp-84 @zeunys @aquaberrydolphin @nynxtea @yuujispinkhair @ssc7514 @sukubusss @scorpiosugar @kiixonmm @xlilycoco

[dadsbongos]

megumi x airhead fluff please don’t let gege get u again 😔

iehjejeueueh

GASP this has been in my drafts so long and i totally forgot about it, i am sooo sorry nonny :')

761 words no big warnings just fluff n idiots pining, not super proofread

the ghost of gege has been cleansed from my soul!!! ~~~

“Do you really think that?”

Megumi stiffly avoids your gaze, soon after shrugging, “Yeah. What of it?”

You frown, and it could be how attuned he is to your mood but Megumi swears the sudden shift actually overhauls the entire room’s energy. Something morose and slithering around the darkness, somehow the gloominess only thickens in the areas sparsely lit by Megumi’s lamp.

“That’s sad,” you lean up from your sit and onto your knees, fingertips just barely pressing into the springs below, “You’re not a bad person, ‘gumi.”

“I don’t think I’m the devil,” he turns his whole head to avoid your piercing stare, “Just not a good person.”

“That’s sad!” now you’ve flung your hands up on his shoulders, squeezing down his arms as if a heartbroken widow clutching her poor, dead husband, “‘gumi you’re the best guy I know!”

Scrunching away from you, Megumi presses his back into the headboard of his bed, swallowing harshly and continuously dodging your stare, “Yeah, sure.”

“Hey,” you whine, now squishing his hands between yours, “You are! You’re super nice all the time, and you’re way smart.”

The accusation of kindness pulls a little chuckle from Megumi, especially considering how often Yuuji and Nobara curse his nasty attitude. He cannot comprehend why you’d marvel over him this way, or in any other way for that fact. Megumi’s eyes flutter shut, he soaks up the warmth of your hands on his, and your face by his cheek. If he dared lean up, he’d easily be able to kiss you (he’s not so bold, he thinks he’d rather die actually).

“And you’re so pretty,” you tack on, as if you can sense the worst possible thing to say right now.

Though, Megumi knows better -- you’re soft and mellow, his opposite if anything. The knowledge of your earnesty in the compliment does nothing to calm his racing heart, or the raging red slathering his face.

“Whatever…” Megumi sinks down until he’s laid back on his mattress. He sucks in air slowly, boring holes into the ceiling rather than your face, “You’re pretty, too. And you’re nicer than me,” he cringes, “If you’re still sure I’m nice.”

“You are,” you lay beside him, petting a hand over the bunches and wrinkles in his sleep shirt, “You’re being nice now! You let me come over after my nightmare.”

“You sounded scared,” he tries to shrug off the praise, but your words are clinging to his brain stubbornly, “Why would I make you sleep alone after that?”

“Exactly,” you’re bolder than Megumi, bold enough to spike your chin onto his chest, “You’d be a great boyfriend.”

“You don’t say,” he chokes out, heat clogging his cheeks and red burning into a deep crimson. He prays the dim light emitting from his nightstand doesn’t expose the sight to you. 

A melodic knock on Megumi’s door makes the duo flinch, and despite logic telling him nothing is wrong Megumi lets his arm come around your waist protectively. When its Satoru that pokes his head in, the boy grumbles.

“Hey, problem children,” Satoru coos, “if you’re gonna break rules, at least move apart when your teacher comes to scold you.”

“They had a nightmare,” Megumi’s hold on you tightens, “they didn’t wanna be alone.”

“Is that right?” Satoru’s blindfold is still snug around his face, but Megumi can feel his teacher’s stare pointed at where your head lays on his chest.

You nod viciously, “It was so scary! I thought I died for real, so ‘gumi let me stay with him so I don’t have another one.”

“Well how sweet,” Satoru taps the doorframe, “But c’mon, time for everyone to go to their own rooms.”

“Huh, no way!” you cry in protest, rocketing up straight.

“No way,” Megumi parrots.

Raising a brow, Satoru grins at his student’s sudden audacity, “You want me to stay in here with you both, then?”

“You want me to tell Yaga about the secret number in your phone?” Megumi glares, “The one you know by heart.”

Satoru grimaces down at the boy, then sighing and back out of the room, “Don’t do anything to make Yaga yell at me.”

“Wow, ‘gumi, you really got him.”

“He’s easy to wrangle, like training a big, stupid dog,” Megumi feels his heart thundering in his chest the longer you go without saying anything, simply sitting there and grinning at him, “What?”

“You stood up for me.”

“Duh.”

“That was really nice of you.”

He rolls his eyes, grabbing you by the arm and pulling you back onto him, “Yeah, whatever.”

[flemingology]

Biggest Little Fan | Jessie Fleming x Reader

In which: you take your daughter to her mum's football game for the first time

Warnings: none

WC: 1.6k

A/N: based on this request. Realized I am not good at writing the kid dynamic. I don't know if I'll do it again but I still hope you enjoy!

Divider: @cafekitsune

Amelia, you and Jessie's 5-year old daughter, had started picking up an interest for football the last couple months. It was almost inevitably really, seen the household in which she grew up. You and your wife had kept your daughter away from football in her first couple years, wanting to avoid that she became a thing in the media – like you had seen happen before to other players and their children.

Nonetheless, she had been nothing but nagging the both of you to go see one of Jessie's games. "I want to see mama kick the ball," she would claim excitedly. As much as you were fond of the idea, it took a little convincing to get Jessie on board. Although she loved the idea of her wife and her daughter coming to watch her games, both adorning shirts with number 17 and Fleming on the back, it was more the whole footballing environment that worried her. The noise, the people, it could get really busy and loud in a stadium and she knew her daughter was prone to be overwhelmed.

A couple weeks after it was initially mentioned, though, you'd finally been able to convince her. You had pushed her out the door the morning of matchday with the promise of bringing earplugs for Amelia, the koala teddy she brought everywhere with her that Jessie got her after she came back from Australia from the World Cup and a couple toys just in case she would get bored in the family box.

Your wife and you had struggled quite a bit with getting pregnant before it eventually worked out. After 3 failed IVF rounds, you were ready to give up, but Jessie convinced you to go for one more try. And as she promised, the fourth time was successful. You couldn't have wished for a better, more caring partner than Jessie during the 9 months. Now, though, it was like you fell in love with her again and again every other day. Jessie caring for you was one thing, but seeing Jessie care for your daughter had you feeling ways you don't think would ever be replicated by anyone or anything else.

Jessie would get quite insecure from time to time about how much time she spent away from home. Before Amelia was born, you two had grown accustomed to spending time away from each other, but ever since you had your little girl Jessie seemed to struggle with it a lot more. Endless Facetime calls from across the world would never ever come close to the real thing, but they would have to make do for the time being.

That's why, even though she only reluctantly agreed to the plan of bringing Amelia with you for the first time, she couldn't contain her excitement about the prospect of having her daughter in the stands for the first time. Occasions like these didn't come around too often, especially since you didn't travel around the world anymore to watch your wife now that you had a daughter. So to have a game in Portland on a time and day that worked out perfectly for you as a family, you really couldn't let the opportunity pass.

Your usual routine of getting ready for Jessie's matches now included getting your daughter ready too. Instead of bringing Amelia to your or Jessie's parents, she stayed with you throughout the day. You were both wearing matching Portland kits, your wife's name on the back. You knew how much Jessie loved seeing you wearing her last name on your back, let alone her daughter of 5.

Before you knew it, it was time to leave and you and your daughter found yourselves in your car, making your way to Providence Park. You'd left quite early, not wanting to be stuck in Portland traffic, which you knew would have driven your daughter crazy. Forever impatient – a trait she'd definitely taken over you –, it was never a good idea to be on a drive with Amelia during rush hour.

You parked in your usual spot in the family car park, making your way over to Jessie's family box. Her parents and sister were already there, neither would they miss the opportunity to watch their daughter and sister play football, especially now that they didn't have to watch Amelia for once. You held your daughter comfortably on your hip, her outstretched arms immediately looking for her grandmother when you said hello to Jessie's mum. You let her take Amelia while you said hello to everyone else, mingling a little and having a drink before you made your way over to your seat and waited for the match to begin, Amelia sitting proudly on your lap.

Your daughter couldn't contain her excitement when the teams walked out and she saw Jessie, jumping up and down in your lap and clapping her hands when the league anthem sounded in the stadium. As part of her routine, Jessie looked up towards her family box before she walked to her spot on the field, shooting the five of you a small wave before taking her concentration back for the following 90 minutes.

The game went by quick, your daughter asking you questions every now and then about what was happening. She was surprisedly interested, not sparing her koala teddy or toys a single glance – up until Jessie was subbed off in the 80th minute, then she found it a little harder to keep still. Elysse proposed to take her off you for a while, entertaining Amelia for the remaining couple minutes of the game. Not long after, the referee blew the whistle, signaling the end of the match that ended in a 2-1 win for Jessie and her teammates. She didn't get a goal or an assist, but she had been instrumental in her team's build-up play and you knew that she would be happy with her performance.

The team made the lap around the pitch and made sure to thank the fans that had come out to see them, signing a shirt or taking a picture every now and then. You were enamoured with the way Jessie interacted with kids, it had always been a topic of conversation between the two of you before you had Amelia. She was so good with kids and whenever you would see her interacting with her mascot, or children that had come to see the game, you felt a strong sense of domesticity overcome you and simply couldn't wait to have one of your own. Standing here, Amelia on your hip animatedly telling you about how she thought her mama was so cool playing football, you couldn't really believe that this was life.

Before long, Jessie and her teammates arrived at the family section and players started to climb over the bars to make their way to their family and friends. Jessie lingered a little with Janine's family before she made her way over to her family, engulfing her parents and Elysse in a big group hug. She hadn't seen them for quite some time, football wasn't a particularly forgiving job so she was happy that she got to see them whenever she could. Amelia grew restless quite quickly and kept poking you and asking to be put down, but you knew Jessie liked the little moment of peace with her parents so you relented.

After a couple more moments Jessie managed to wriggle herself out of the conversation and eagerly made her way over to you both, a big grin forming on her face when she noticed Amelia sitting on your hip. Your daughter stuck her arms out for Jessie to grab and you let her, your wife smoothly taking her from you and settling her on her hip. "Mama, I watched you the whole game!" Amelia exclaimed, looking on with wide eyes at your wife, proudly telling her everything about the game that she noticed and remembered. You watched on as they interacted, your feelings overcome with pride as you thought about the little family you and Jessie had created.

A couple minutes later, Jessie put Amelia back down as she asked to go play with Elysse, the both of them now running around the family box as Amelia's giggled could be heard throughout the whole block. Jessie moved closer to you and pressed a quick, sweet kiss on your lips. "Thank you for coming, thank you for bringing Amelia. I loved it more than I thought I would," she exclaimed, leaning her head on your shoulder as you affectionately rubbed her back.

You pressed a kiss against her crown before speaking up. "I knew you'd like it. I loved it too, it's really nice to think about the little family we've created together."

Jessie looked up at you and you couldn't miss the unshed tears in her eyes, quickly wiping them away before they could spill. "I'm proud of this. Of us. We did so good," Jessie said, intertwining her fingers with yours. You both watched as Elysse was now running around with Amelia on her shoulders.

"We did very good. I love our family and I love you, Jess." Jessie squeezed your hand. "Forever."

[iouinotes]

Show-off | Mike Ross

pairing: Mike Ross x female!reader

show: Suits

genre: smut word count: 2,9k

summary: you and your co-worker Mike dont get along very well. But when you have something that he needs, suddenly everything is different.

a/n: Just watched the first two episodes of "Suits" and something about Mike is really attractive-

Working in a well-known office as a lawyer has it's advantages. Such as being respected by business people or being able to afford a lot of things, you spend all your evenings analyzing documents rather than meeting actual people.

Nevertheless, sometimes there are also negative factors. For example, my co-worker Mike, who really believes, that he is with his ridiculously skinny tie and sarcastic humor better than the others. Or right now, better than me.

"God, I cant believe you. Can you behave for once?" I use my fingers to push my hair back in frustration, noticing how my head starts to hurt. Its 10 pm and I'm currently trying to stay calm, though because of one man in particular, my nerves seem to be getting thinner within seconds. Valuable time is wasted that I could spend somewhere else instead of with him.

"Now it's my fault, that you don't have the documents with you? Sorry, I can't help you being organized in your own workplace." His voice irritates me. Everything about him is so frustrating.

"I told you, I didnt get the message! How am I supposed to know, that you need something, when you don't tell me anything about it? Maybe you should stop being so childish and ask me in the first place, instead of running to Rachel!" If our job had nothing to do with justice and we werent literally standing in a law company right now, I would kill him. And then I wouldn't hesitate to go to court and say it was self-defense, because I didnt want to hear any of his miserable excuses anymore.

"So what do you think, I should do? I need these documents for tomorrow. Please, I know you don't like me, but it is really urgent." Why does he has such blue eyes? The look he is going me is even more irritating than his voice.

I sign, exhibit my laptop and try to put the pens back, that are laying all over my desk.

"Okay, fine. As I said, the documents are at home, so-" I don´t even get to finish my sentence.

"Great, so I'll meet you there. And I wont even tell anyone, if your place is a mess." His eyes wander over my messy desk, and even If I don´t like to admit it, it's a bad habit of mine. But, he shouldn't make any assumptions about the neatness in my apartment.

"I hope you loose the documents on your way home." At my words, he grins smugly.

"Well, then I could lie and say you didnt found them anymore and I hadnt had the chance to go through them." He leans towards me.

"I'll run you over with my car." He raises his eyebrows at my threat.

"You sure should do something that makes you smile more often. Is that even something you know how to do?" I show him my middle finger and turn to left my office. When I close the door, I hear the laughter in his voice.

"The next storm should be named after you as quickly as you left the room." He follows after me.

"Can you shut up for once? Oh, I forgot. You don´t last one second being silent. Thats a shame, the world could finally heal." His hand rests on his heart, his features fake a hurt expression.

"Ouch. You really don´t like me that much, huh?" His eyes try to search mine.

"You get on my nerves on purpose every fucking day. Should I thank you for that?" I turn my head to look at him.

"Yes, you should. Your life would be so boring without me." He grins at me again from the side, that typical grimace that is always adorn on his face.

"You wish." When I tell him my address, he raises his eyebrows, but before he can make an unfavorable comment, I get into my car.

Darkness surrounds me and when I see him going away, I lower my head to the steering wheel. He really is the best at confusing my emotions.

~~~~~

I turn off the lights of my car and get out of it, so I can finally make my way to my flat. Its not something special, I mean I have a living room, which is quite big and connected to the kitchen, a bedroom and a bath. But I am very lucky, because I have a small balcony, from which I can watch the stars at night. But I usually only do that when I can't sleep.

So, when I enter my apartment, I let my eyes wander over the manageable mess, I put some clothes back in the closet and the dishes in the washing machine. The place almost looks decent, when I hear the doorbell.

As I open the door, I'm nervous for some reason. I let him in and turn to my office drawers, looking for the document.

"Nice place. You live here alone?" His fingers trace my bookshelf, I see him reading the titles.

"No, my wife is still at work." When I look at him dead serious, I see him laugh in surprise.

"So, you do have humor. I thought, you were one of those exceptions that wouldn't be able to do that." He means it as a joke, but something in my chest hurts.

When I reply with a monotonous voice, I see his eyebrows pull together. "I live here alone. That's what you wanted to hear?" I'm getting more frustrated again with every second he's around me.

"No- I didnt mean it that way. I'm sorry. My intentions were good, I promise." When I look at him for a moment, I see his honest expression.

It would be so easier for me to hate him, if I didnt know, he was a good human. Well, most of the time.

We are silent for a moment, but when I hear his footsteps, I tense up.

"What are you doing?" He's now standing right next to me.

"Helping you. You seem a little, tense?" I glare at him for a moment and he raises his hands in defense.

"Just pointed out the obvious. But dont worry. You still look lovely." I stop in my movements at his words.

"Thats such shock for you?" His voice shows surprise and a certain curiosity.

"Only that you say it." I look into his eyes.

"Well, you may think I'm dumb, but I'm not blind."

He just called me beautiful, sort of. It´s confusing me.

When I finally find the documents, I hold my hand out to him.

"I don´t think you are dumb. I think you're annoying. And a show-off. I don´t like that." His eyes follow me.

"What do you like then?" His question surprises me. He slowly takes the documents out of my hand, his finger gently brushing mine.

"I don´t think that is any of your business." I try to clear my voice. His touch makes me shiver.

"Come on, tell me. Would that be so bad?" His whole presence is making me nervous and I feel my hands start to shake.

At work, I can always hide behind a mask, pretend that nothing he does affects me. I can act like I truly hate him, even though I catch myself looking at him, from time to time. Especially when he shows off his intelligence without realizing it, impresses his clients and -I would never admit it- me too. It's a certain charm about him, the way he always knows how to answer, while being mischievous and clever about it.

But now, that he's in my apartment and so close to me, it's suddenly different. And I don't know how to react to him being nice.

"I look for someone who isnt afraid of commitment. Someone who is honest and kind, but who also challenges me. I want to feel safe, so I can put my trust not only in myself."

He nods and is quiet for a moment, I begin to feel stupid for telling him all of that, when he responds.

"I get that. Someone whose shoulder you can lean on when things get too much. Someone who meets your needs, who wants to be in your life. For longer than a one-night stand." He smiles at me and I see for the first time, why I possibly could like him.

"Also, statistics show higher rates of being robbed or kidnapped, when you have one-night stands." This remark almost makes me laugh, even though it's frightening.

"Well, who would even notice, if I would disappear? Probably only my clients, because they need me." I lower my head, being completely honest with him for the first time.

"I would notice."

When I look at him, he takes a step towards me. His fingers gently slide over my shoulder and brush my hair aside, the touch makes a warm feeling bloom in my chest.

"I couldn't annoy you anymore. My life would be pretty boring without you. And it's not so bad to be able to look at such a pretty face every day, even if it always looks at me annoyed, like all the time." I quietly laugh at that, feeling surprisingly good because of his compliment.

We look at each other, now being really close. My eyes travel to his lips and I don´t even know how it happens, but suddenly he is all over me. His lips on mine, his hands on my waist, lifting me up to sit me on the desk. I moan softly when his hands tangle in my hair and he pushes himself closer to me, so that he's standing between my legs. One of his hands gently wraps around my neck and I feel my loud pulse.

My hands move too, stroking his back and holding him closer to me by his tie. As he pulls his lips away from me, he lifts my chin with his finger. Now, looking down at me with widen pupils. I hold his eye contact, forgetting all about my issues with him, when he speaks to me with a deep voice (which I suddenly don´t think sounds irritating anymore).

"Be angry at me tomorrow and mine for tonight. I bet, all your frustration from work and your thin nerves can catch a break, what do you say?"

Not much. Because I pull him towards me by his tie and kiss him again. I don't want to stop at all anymore. He returns the kiss with the same enthusiasm and his hands find their way to my waist again to lift me up again. When he crosses the living room with quick steps and lays me down on the sofa, I already feel out of breath and clearly turned on.

His kisses become more intense, his lips move from my mouth to my neck, leaving marks there. But it feels too good to make him stop.

"I will gladly hear your excuses, when someone asks you about your hickeys tomorrow. Because you will be all flustered, when you think again about this moment. Where you are ready to be fucked by your colleague, who you despise so much." I whimper as he pushes up my dress and his hands pull my tights down to my knees. The cold air hits my skin, but I don't really notice it, because his lips are on my neck again and his fingers connect first with my stomach and then further down. I hold my breath as his lips touch my ear and his fingers stroke my folds.

"So wet for me. Didnt think, I would turn you on this much." I kiss him to shut him up.

"You are-" I moan, when he finally puts a finger in me. "-so annoying." He laughs at me.

"Am I? But you seem to like it." I feel myself getting wetter, his fingers feel so good as they move gently but firmly inside me. One of his hands moves to push my dress further up and somehow, he manages to pull it over my head. Now, I'm lying in front of him in just a bra, his hands slowly find their way over my body and to my back, which I lift slightly so that he can open the clasp.

When I lie naked in front of him and he massages my breasts, his lips touch mine and his fingers stimulate me, I feel like I'm in heaven.

He breaks apart, so he can look at me and I draw my eyebrows together, when his fingers increase in speed. My mouth opens and the sounds that escape me echo in the apartment.

"I'm- god, I think I am going to come-" at that he starts to tease me, going slower but a lot deeper. My eyes almost roll back as he hits a certain spot inside me.

"That feels good? What do you say, when you want something?" You stupid idiot.

"You stupid-" I begin to say as his lips graze my nipple and his finger scissor and stretch me out further.

"One word, darling. Say it." And because I feel this knot inside me (and maybe this side of him turns me on, like a lot), I finally open my mouth to please him.

"Please, Mike. I-I need to-" My sentence is cut off as his fingers speed up and I moan loudly.

"Thats a good girl, you can be so good to me, if I make you." His lips search mine as I finally come. My breathing is heavy and when I come down from my high and look at his face, I see the satisfied expression.

"You are done-" I can't maintain my strict facial expression and suddenly have to start smiling. His eyes widen in surprise and I raise my eyebrows, still smiling softly.

"What?" I quietly laugh at his expression.

"Nothing, its just- I have never seen you smiling so happy." I roll my eyes gently. As I look at him closer now, I see the bulge in his pants and the loosened tie. As I lean forward, his eyes shift to my body.

"You still are fully clothed. A bit unfair, don't you think?" I watch him swallow and my hands move to his chest to slowly unbutton his shirt. As I also remove the tie and slip the shirt from his shoulders, I sit myself on his lap. Rocking my hips forward and seeing his eyes close. His hands move to my hips and begin to control the movements, my eyes close too and my head leans into the crook of his neck as the movements become faster.

Sighs and heavy breaths leave his lips and once again, one of his hands moves to grab my breasts, lightly grazing the nipples.

I look at him, noticing his swollen lips and his flushed cheeks. His hair is a mess and his forehead is furrowed, but he tries his best to pull himself together.

I groan as I look at him and suddenly think back to todays afternoon, when he was on a phone call and I heard how he listed one reciting fact after another, without any difficulty.

"What are you thinking about?" His voice pulls me out of my thoughts.

"N-nothing" I'm definitely too embarrassed to admit how much his intelligence and the way he seems to know everything, turns me on.

One of his hands moves to my entrance and teases me by just circling around it. When I try to push myself down, he pulls his fingers away.

"You tell me, whats going on in that pretty head of yours and you'll get me." My body feels so hot, I can't think properly anymore.

"You where on a phone call today and you just- you listed without any effort every single point that will help you win the case. You just said it like- it's nothing."

When his fingers dig into me again, I bite my lips. I try to control my moans and not pay attention to the fact, that I just gave him every opportunity to make him be more complacent than his usual self.

His fingers pump into me and I feel slightly overstimulated. But I wouldnt want to stop now.

"You get off by the thought of me, saying memorized facts? Who would have thought that my intelligence would turn you on so much." God, his ego probably doesn't fit in this apartment anymore.

"Don't think too highly of yourself, you still annoy me." Now I'm really just trying to get myself out of the situation. I lean towards him, so he can't say anything anymore and pull on his blonde hair to distract him.

Moans escape my lips and when I notice that his noises are also getting louder, I pull away from him. He looks at me confused.

"I want you inside me." Thats all I say, but he quickly complies with my request. I slide off his lap and wait for him to take off his pants and boxers until he's finally on top of me again. His fingers find my bottom lip and while maintaining eye contact, I open my mouth so he can insert a finger. My tongue brushes against his and after a few moments of him pressing on my tongue, he lets his fingers move back to the spot that needs him the most.

He stretches me for a few minutes until he finally guides his cock to my hole and slowly penetrates me. My eyes close and I hear his breath in my ear as he pushes further.

"You are so tight- good thing finally someone fucks you." I nod without thinking and hear his laughter in my ear.

"You think so too, huh. Would you let anyone fuck you then?" My stomach tenses, I feel the pleasure growing again and every movement of him. This feels so good-

I try to shake my head, but I'm too lost in the sensations to pay much attention to his words.

"No? But I thought, you hate me. Why would you let me fuck you, if you don´t even like me?" His thrusts become faster and more uncontrolled, I feel him getting closer to his own high.

"I-" I try to stutter "d-don´t hate you." I feel myself getting closer and reach into his hair, pulling at the roots and feeling his lips on my shoulder. His thrusts become more powerful and as he moves his hand and massages my clitoris, suddenly everything goes white in front of my eyes and I come.

I feel every inch inside of me, feel his fingers brush over the visible bulge in my stomach and think to myself: god I feel so full

When he comes too, I moan so loudly that it's impossible that my neighbors didn't hear me. His hand finds its way around my chin, he slides a finger into my mouth and I feel my vagina tighten because of it.

He hisses and his thrusts slow down until he finally pulls out of me, trying not to fall on top of me. As I give him some space next to me, he falls halfway on me, but pulls me on top of him in the next second and I can hear his strong heartbeat. With his outstretched hand he pulls the blanket over me, that had fallen to the floor.

We both try to catch our breath and as the minutes pass, only the wind outside is heard. He is the first to break the silence.

"So, you don't hate me?" I lift my head from his naked chest to look at him.

"Only sometimes." He shakes his head and smiles, gently stroking my back.

The evening went by quickly, we ordered a pizza and ate it (clothed) on the terrace. We were going over his documents for tomorrow, I blushed at the thought that this was the real reason he came here, but he just hugged me from behind after we finished and continued watching the stars.

It's not really clear what this evening means for us, but I don´t want to get into that, not yet. Because I'm not sure what it means anyway.

Because now, I have to get used to the fact that his voice no longer irritates me, that his jokes no longer annoy me and that he as a person, is actually not as bad as I imagined.

"Who thought, I was the one to get you relax."

But he is still a show-off.

[wildernessuntothemselves]

Now See Them Burn in Fire | Part 2

Genre: dark fic, future smut, angst

Word Count: 9.6k

 Chapter Excerpt:

But you can’t answer them, throat closed shut and eyes glued to the detached orbs on the floor–there in front of you lay the sacred bull’s missing eyes. Its eyes that used to be so bright in life with warmth and light now replaced with icy blue crystals crudely jammed in the middle of the irises to form the evil eye, and its menacing gaze was set directly on you. 

You can’t deny it anymore. You are the intended target. If the gods were watching you through the creatures eyes in life then this monster is watching you in death. 

He was here again, in your home, in your room, just like he had been in your temple. There is no refuge of your own that is safe from his dark presence. 

“Oh dear gods, save us.” You hear your father whisper fearfully, following your line of sight and realising what had alarmed you so. 

“It’s for me. I have been cursed.” You say, your voice devoid of any emotion, body going cold with a numbness that can only come about from the realisation that one is utterly doomed. “What am I to tell Kai?”

Warnings: fem!reader, DARK FIC, FUTURE NONCON/CON, gore, mentions of cruelty to animals, character death, iron age au, supernatural au, yandere beomgyu

___________________________________

A small part of you feels guilty about it. You know it hurt him to hear you accuse him of the same hearsay everyone else flings at him. You were supposed to be different, he must've thought, and you’re ashamed to prove you aren’t, but you can’t risk your future and place in the tribe to stand by him when at best he is being misjudged and by choosing him you doom yourself to a future of living as outcasts together, your offspring having no hope of any viable future, and at worst, everyone is right about him and he drags you to the depth of blackness with him. 

Beomgyu keeps his distance from you much to your surprise. Given how bold he was in that forest, you half expected him to continue to pursue you despite your rejection but you suppose you finally got your message across. 

But you can’t think about it for too long. You and Kai are now official and you have to focus on your future and the future of your family, especially because you still don't know what the fallen star was meant to foreshadow. Your parents weren't able to find much on it, only stumbling across vague warnings of falls from grace, being cast from heaven, ruin and damnation. The doom and gloom of curses–the most powerful of them all–but no more details than that and no way to intercept or stop it. 

Was it doom for you? For your family? For the entire tribe? They couldn’t tell you, but you knew that associating with the dark boy was not likely to make things any better. 

You had suggested seeking help from the elders, perhaps someone else knew more about it, but your family quickly snuffed that idea out. How could you ask such a stupid thing? You think the others would take kindly to doom tellers? You think they would welcome an inescapable prophecy of blood and death? 

No, you were to keep your mouth shut and work in secret to get to the bottom of this. It doesn’t even have to mean anything. It could all just be a coincidence.

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing from your parents. It was borderline blasphemy. A coincidence? There was no such thing in the art of reading the stars. The stars do not simply plummet themselves to death because they were bored one day. This is a sign and you all know it but they choose to turn a blind eye to what they can’t fix, like a mouse freezing in place when it encounters the jaws of the snake. 

Still, it is easy for them to forget and brush it off when things have been going so well for you. With the announcement of your betrothal to the future leader, your already esteemed place in the tribe climbs right to the top. 

You parents are quite pleased with it. They always thought they deserved more than they were getting. They even thought they deserved more than the leader’s family. After all, you were the spirituals and divinators that guided the entire tribe and the ones who they entrusted their eternal souls with. Why shouldn’t your place be at the top?

It was jarring to see how close and dear your parents have gotten to the leader and his family and how flattering and generous they were being–regaling him with poems about his bravery and wisdom when behind closed doors they would rake him over the coals with their scathing remarks about his intelligence and short temper, likening him to the beasts that live in the forest. 

But it isn’t like the leader wasn’t aware of their duplicity or that he didn’t enjoy their excessive flattery. He purposefully encouraged them to continue feeding his massive ego, caring nothing if their intentions were true or not. 

Truth be told, this situation was making you see them all in an unfavourable light. You used to look up to them as tough but reliable and wise, only doing what was best for the tribe, but now you see how they're all working for their own favor.

But you can't act too righteously, for you also found it shamefully easy to not care about the hypocrisy or the lies or even the threat of damnation hanging over your heads, not when Kai was your prize–and what a sweet prize he was. Unlike them, he was pure of heart. Beneath his angelic features was an even more generous and kind soul. You actually believe the words he speaks. You know he does not lie and so when he acts loving and sweet towards you, you know to trust it. 

You get so caught up with him and your family gets so caught up with his that you start neglecting your calling and your duty to the tribe. Even the search for the star is momentarily forgotten. After all, where was this fabled curse? Here you are having the best time of your life, your fortune more blessed than ever. Maybe the fallen star really didn't mean anything at all.

Oh how arrogant you were. How blasphemous. The stars are not there for your entertainment. They're not little light shows just there to brighten your night, and you should’ve heeded their warning. Maybe if you did, you could have saved everyone. 

It starts small, like most horrible inescapable fates do, with the farmers finding odd symbols burnt onto their fields. The shapes strange at first but then vaguely familiar as old runes you’ve all collectively lost the knowledge of. Some similar to the stone pillar in the heart of the sacred temple and others unseen by any of your kind before. 

They were written off as youngster mischief at first–the youth just finding new and creative ways to occupy their time and mess with their elders. Even as the farmers started growing more and more anxious as more and more of these strange symbols cropped up, ruining a sizable portion of their crops–done seemingly by an unseen force as no one has been able to catch or even catch a glimpse of the culprit in action despite the numerous watches being set up–they were brushed off and assured it would stop when the culprits grew bored of not getting the reactions they wanted. 

But the culprits were not dissuaded. They just took it a step further, and soon the symbols were found not just on crops but burned or carved onto the flesh of the animals. That’s when the people really started panicking. They didn’t understand what this meant but they knew something was seriously awry. 

Even the other animals knew, as they seemingly avoided the ones marked by the unseen force as if being near them could infect them too. The farmers refused to consume the goods of these afflicted creatures and no one tried to convince them to–and maybe for good reason as soon these poor souls were slaughtered one by one by that unseen force in the night. 

They were found massacred as if by a wild animal, bits of fur and fat and brains scattered around fields. Entire body parts missing. Heads chopped off and found in children’s cots. 

This was no mere joke. This was the work of a demented individual or individuals, and no one even knew what they wanted. But this new development finally got the elders to pay attention and take this seriously. 

They started by calling for meetings. First between themselves in order to figure out the source and meaning of these runes and how to stop this malicious energy, still foolishly holding onto the hope that this was under control and that they can stop it. But when they came up as empty as your family did, they turned to you and other young apprentices in their desperation, seeking any suggestion that could help them decipher the code. But of course that yielded even less results and led to panic spreading across the tribe when the looser tongues of the less experienced spoke too much. 

As more and more crops and livestock gave way under this unseen dark force, there was a widespread fear–almost expectation–of what to do when it reached the people themselves. Again the elders reassured the people–lying through their teeth that there is nothing to be concerned about, still insisting this was the work of a group of troubled youth, all while they used their precious powers and resources to bless and protect themselves and the people and sites most important to them, resting easy for a while in the belief that at least they were safe hiding behind their powers while the rest of their people were left in the open with whatever was out there, watching and waiting to see if it will start developing a taste for humans next. 

The good gods will protect them just like they always have, they thought. After all, they were their most esteemed servants and this dark force–whatever its origin may be–could not possibly stand up to the combined powers of such godly men and women, right? It will soon stop and retreat back to the dark groves from whence it came. 

It was disgusting to witness it all, seeing the people you admired and respected so much only thinking of themselves. This thing–whatever it was--has lifted the veil of naivety and innocence off your eyes and exposed you to the brutal reality of the world around you–a world you once thought was built on altruism and honour but have now come to realize was all a lie. Your heroes weren't wise, virtuous leaders, but scared, selfish and arrogant hypocrites who hoarded their powers for themselves while simultaneously covering their eyes with their own hands and refusing to see the danger right in front of them.

They completely refuse to acknowledge that the animals weren’t butchered with wanton and random cruelty–there was something spine-chillingly deliberate about the slaughter. The savage cuts may have seemed like the work of a mad spirit hungry for blood at first glance but if they were to look even just a little more closely they would see that they were deliberate, intentional–the missing body parts of the corpses were not mere bits of meat torn away to be devoured. They were key pieces to a gruesome bigger picture–the tongue of a cow, the heart of a deer, the testicles of a bull, the feet of a chicken–these are all ingredients used in dark magic.��  

You had said as much to your family, and you knew they knew it too but they still arrogantly–or fearfully–dismissed it. After all, who would possess the knowledge to perform such dark arts apart from the priests and priestesses themselves, and not just any of them–this knowledge is only accessible to the most powerful and most respected of the lot such as your parents. There is no way one of them has gone rogue with the others being none the wiser. 

But you know that’s not fully true because you have accessed such knowledge secretly after spying on your parents, and if you could do it then someone else could have done it too. Some of the children of the other powerful priests and priestesses could have done the same. Or someone could have let it slip to an outsider…

But even the elders and even your parents can’t shut their eyes and cover their ears any longer when the hand that works in the shadows reaches forward to touch the most cherished and protected, right in their midst. 

You were the one to find it–the sacred bull that resided in the heart of the temple–or what has become of it.   

It was a gruesome sight. Its body butchered, the entrails pulled out and hung over its altar, the scent of blood and organs heavy in the air and tasting of metal, the corpse posed in a grotesque mockery of the god it represents. 

It was such a gentle animal, friendly with wise eyes that often made you feel as if you were being watched by the gods themselves. But it never made you feel judged. Instead you felt safe and protected by the large, strong animal that was only easy to shepherd due to its gentle nature, but was also capable of great force if provoked–as you’ve witnessed first hand when it was handled incorrectly by someone it didn’t deem worthy. You knew it wouldn’t have been easy to take down the majestic beast and it certainly wasn't easy to string it up and flay it in this grisly way. Its eyes that comforted you so much were nowhere to be found, plucked right out of its skull and leaving behind black hollow sockets that stare you down with the ghastly gaze of death itself. 

An overwhelming sense of nausea built up in your stomach at the thought of being so alone without the watchful eyes of the gentle creature–even more so than you were at the abominable mockery that has been made of its remains, and you couldn’t even make it more than a few steps away before you fell to your knees on the floor and vomited your guts out. 

It kept coming and coming even when your stomach was long empty, your body purging itself as if your insides were trying to escape it and run away from the danger it sensed. 

It didn’t take long for someone to be alerted to this catastrophe, and a small crowd soon gathered around the slain animal, sobs and gasps of horror filling the once serene sanctuary. 

The elders eventually made their appearance and after getting over their initial shock and revulsion at the sight, quickly dispersed the crowd, ordering them not to mention this to any of the tribes people and instructing some of the other apprentices to take you outside for some fresh air, thinking that only the sight of the slaughtered beast was the cause of your intractable sickness. 

But you couldn’t even get to your feet. They had to drag you out as you shook and dry heaved, a cold sweat drenching your body and making it slippery in their grasp, causing them to lose grip and plummet you to your feet more than once, each time your weak body slamming against the ground as you had no strength to break your fall, the impact making you even more nauseous and weak. 

The only small reprieve you got is when the outside fresh air met your drenched skin and cooled down your overheated body, allowing you a moment of relief. But that fleeting reprieve was quickly gone as your body went from cool to cold and you started shaking. You curled up into a ball, trying to conserve your body heat and unable to utter any word of reassurance to the poor apprentices who watched you, horrified at your stricken condition. You’re sure their minds were conjuring up all sorts of terrifying tales about what had just happened, but none of it would come close to your bizarrely confident belief in who exactly was behind this. 

Because it's not what you've seen that terrifies you, it's what you haven’t. You saw no evidence of this being the work of a group of demented individuals like your elders have been insisting. This was not the work of any human at all. This was something cold and evil, and you think you know exactly who it is–the shiver currently racking your body more a product of breathtaking dread than the cold. 

Mercifully, your mind eventually tires your body out, but before all strength leaves you, you become vaguely aware of being picked up by someone–a warm, strong body pressed against your own, grounding you and preventing you from giving in to the terror completely.

________________________

“She's waking up!” Someone shouts, entirely too loudly for you tired and sensitive ears, and you flinch away, trying to nuzzle further into the softness surrounding you in order to block it out. 

“She is.” Another voice adds, and you immediately recognize the deadpan voice of your mother. “See, she is okay. You can head home now and we'll take it from here.”

“Darling, can you hear me?” The first voice gets closer, ignoring your mother, and you feel a feverish touch against your face, almost scalding against your own overheated body which makes you pull away. 

“What is wrong with her?” The voice asks, and even through your delirious nightmare state, you could hear the obvious concern marring it.

“Nothing. She will be fine if you just let her rest, Kai.” Your father says sharply and you force your eyes to flutter open when you finally realise who the person touching you is. Your vision swims and you find it hard to focus but you can recognize Kai's worried gaze even through the haziness. 

“Kai?” You ask, wincing as the sound cracks your parched throat. 

“I am here, my love.” He tells you and gets even closer to you but you use what little strength you have to pull away, grimacing at the look of hurt that crosses his handsome face. “How are you?”

“I am okay.” You repeat your father's sentiment, your tired brain still recognizing the need to get him away from all of this–for his sake and yours. You don't want him to see whatever is happening to you and you don't want it to hurt him. “You don't need to be here.”

His blurry frown still hurts your heart, as does the hesitant way he pulls his hand away. “I was just worried. I know about what happened at the temple. I can’t imagine how you must feel having witnessed that dreadful sight. Oh, what they did to that poor animal was heinous. And for you to see it like that… I know how much you cared for the beast–”

Bile rises up in the back of your throat at the reminder, and you cut Kai off. “I’m okay. I was just shocked, is all. You needn’t worry yourself about me.” 

“What are you on about? As your future husband and leader of this tribe, I must protect you and my people from the scum who did this. Rest assured, my love, I won’t let those barbarians get away with it.” 

Your eyes widen and your heart rate picks up in fear at his words. No, no, this is exactly what you didn’t want to happen. You don’t want him to get involved in this. He is no match for the darkness looming over all of you. It will swallow him whole and spit out bones. You must keep him away from this. 

“No!” You blurt out loudly, making him jump back in shock. Out of the corner of your eyes you can see your parents shooting you warning looks, silently telling you to get a grip and not reveal too much. 

You clear your throat and try to reign in your terror. “You don’t have to worry about me, my love. The elders have it all under control. We must keep our trust in them. That is how we’ll remain safe.” 

“Of course!” He agrees immediately, sheepishly. “I do not mean to doubt the elders. I simply wish to do my part for you and my people.” 

Your heart twists guiltily at his innocence and the untainted good in him. He is the one who must be protected. He must remain pure, which is why you have to keep him away from this. 

“You always do, my sweet. But we should leave this to the elders. They know what to do.” You reach out to cup his cheek, your soul aching at the way he melts into the touch for a second before he leans forward to press a gentle kiss to your forehead. 

You close your eyes, quietly savouring the act of kindness and tenderness before pushing him away. “You should go now, love. I need to rest.”

“You can rest. I'll stay by your side.” He gives you a gentle smile that hurts you even more.  You want nothing more than for him to stay by your side and ward the evil spirits away but you know you must make him leave so you can speak to your parents in private about this new disturbing development. 

“There is really no need. I will rest easier knowing you are also rested.”

“But I–”

“My lord, you really must allow us the chance to tend to our daughter. You being here will only excite her more and delay her recovery.” Your father says irritably, flustering Kai. Really, must your father be so short with him?

“Oh, I didn't realise that. Forgive me–”

“You are forgiven. Now if you'll excuse us.” Your mother interjects, shooing him off the floor and towards the door. Your heart lurches in your chest at the dejected look on his face. It flings itself against your ribcage and demands for you to follow him, but you can’t. 

“Very well. I will see you soon?” He asks hopefully and you nod, mustering up the smallest smile for him. “Very soon.”

He smiles widely at that, but you hardly see it before your mother pushes him out the door and closes it behind him, all warmth suddenly leaving the room with him, and as soon as you are alone with your parents, they are on you, interrogating you about what happened as if you had a clue. 

“Did you see who did it?” Your father asks. 

You shake your head.

“Were there any clues?” Your mother follows up.

You shake your head. 

“What does this mean?” Your father quickly adds and you sigh deeply, feeling the dread gnawing at your bones. “I don't know. But I know it is related to the fallen star. The end is coming.” 

You expect your parents to scold you, to tell you to stop your prophesying of doom and gloom–that it really wasn’t as bad as you were making it out to be and that they will find a way to fix this. But instead, they wring their hands and exchange nervous glances, and that’s when the panic really starts to set it. 

________________

The elder’s now feel affirmed more than ever in their terrifying conclusion that this was not the work of one demented soul but an organised effort by a group of individuals working together in tandem to bring chaos to the tribe. To what end, they still didn’t know, but they were certain that no one human can achieve this feat of superhuman strength by themselves and that this must mean that there is a secret cult working to undermine the very foundation of this tribe, to take it down from its strongest link and watch everything else will fall apart following suit. 

But you have a more terrifying proposal that you do not dare utter. This was the work of a single individual, a dark rotten soul that has crossed the invisible line between flawed but salvageable human to complete corruption into a demon. 

But you won't say it. You can’t even bring yourself to fully accept it. There is no way he could have achieved this level of power. There is no way he has forsaken his soul so completely…

But when you had looked into the hollow sockets that had once contained the bull’s gentle eyes, you couldn’t help but conceitedly think that this was intentionally targeted at you. You were one of the privileged few tasked with caring for this most sacred and divine animal, and through its familiar eyes, the gods watched over you and protected you for years. But now that it has been blinded, will they be able to ward off the creeping evil that they can't see? 

The elders interrogate you about that cursed day over and over again, along with everyone else that had access to the sacred temple in order to try to piece together who could’ve done this. They reasoned that whoever did this must be someone from within your midst, otherwise how would they have managed to slip in unnoticed and bypass all the protections meant to keep outsiders away?

But who were they and what exactly did they want, is what they’ve been desperately trying to find out, but their interrogations led them nowhere. Sure, suspicions and accusations were flung around–everyone blaming everyone else in their scared and panicked state, any perceived suspicious look or action was reported to the elders and investigated heavily but no concrete evidence against anyone has been found yet and all this inquiring has managed to do is breed fear and mistrust amongst your ranks. Everyone had one eye on their back and one eye on the other apprentices and priests, watching out for any sign of betrayal, fearful of meeting the same fate as the poor beast. You were now more divided than ever, and if the assailant’s purpose in doing this was to take you down from within, then they’ve already succeeded. 

The rising tensions are made even worse when things start to go missing from the temple–powerful totems, valuable ingredients, ceremonial weapons wielded by the gods in their battles… piece by piece they start vanishing, further proving to the elders that the assailants had help from someone within the temple.  

They start keeping inventory of everything that goes missing in an attempt to divinate the next movement of the culprit, trying to predict what spell or potion they have got planned and what they might seek next, and piece by piece a horrific picture starts to form. They can’t tell exactly what the assailant’s plan was, but they quickly realise that it involved some ancient and dark magic that has largely been lost to time. 

Whoever or whatever is doing this has found a way to unlock knowledge no longer available to the rest of you, and you had no way of protecting yourselves against it. 

________________________________

Kai tries to take your mind off things. Every day after your morning of prayer and interrogation has finished, he walks you along flowery fields and bubbling river banks and speaks to you of the bright futures and happy endings he has planned for you. He tells you how he can’t wait for you to be married and what he imagines your family life will look like–filled with joy and love and the tinkling laughter of a house full of children. You’ll have many, he says, both boys and girls. They’ll be strong and smart and beautiful, just like you–he says. And when you ask if they’ll be priests and priestesses like you or political leaders like their dad, he says they’ll be whoever they want to be just as long as they’re happy and healthy and you all have each other. His sincerity and earnestness almost brings tears to your eyes. You can tell how much he wants it and you want it so badly as well. 

But neither the sweet smell of the roses nor the soft sounds of the water can soothe your nerves. Your fear to touch the roses lest thorns tear your skin. You fear to dip your feet into the water lest it wash you away. And most of all you fear to let yourself step into the enticing dream he has laid out for you lest you fall into a trap and get swallowed whole. You feel severed from the world around you, unable to tell if it would turn against you at a moment’s notice, and even Kai senses it. 

“Hey, it will all be alright. The gods will protect us.” He smiles at you, trying to reassure you but your frown only grows deeper. 

Will they? They couldn't even protect their own vessel so how will they protect you? But you don’t dare share your worrying thoughts. Kai may be kind but even he must have his limits. He may not tolerate such blasphemy. 

You feel his hand on your cheek as he turns you to face him. He brushes the lines of your frown with his thumb gently, his own smooth skin furrowing in response to your distress. 

“What are you thinking about?” 

“Who might be behind this and what their purpose is.” You tell him truthfully but leave out your one suspect. He may be the tribe outcast but that doesn’t mean that your conspiracies about him wouldn’t sound unhinged to Kai. After all, what reason would he have to be doing all of this? What does he gain from it apart from getting back at you and sowing chaos amongst the tribe’s people? No, you have to have better evidence than this, otherwise you’d be exposing yourself and your connection to him for nothing. 

“Maybe the gods are testing us.” He offers, unsure but hopeful. “Maybe they wish to ensure our faith in them is strong and this is our chance to prove this unwavering faith to them, to show them that Gija and his mistakes won’t be repeated again.”

You hesitate. Did Gija face something similar to this? Is this the untold story of why he turned against the gods? Because they had seemingly forsaken him when danger loomed its vicious head? 

No. You must refrain from these sacrilegious thoughts. This is precisely the type of doubt and fear these attacks are meant to provoke, and as a woman of religion, you should have more faith than this. 

“Maybe.” You answer, wincing at how unconvinced you sound and hoping he can’t hear it.

But Kai, ever the caring and tolerant being that he is, doesn’t strike you down for it. Instead, he meets your doubt and fear with compassion and sympathy. “I wish I could take your worries away… or at least lighten their burden on your precious shoulders. If I could bear some of your worries so you can finally get some rest, I would in a heartbeat.”

You give him a small but genuine smile. He is too sweet, too pure. This world doesn’t deserve him. You know you certainly don’t. “I could never wish such pain on you, my sweet. You're the only thing that keeps me going.” 

He sighs, a hint of frustration coming out in his breath that surprises you, and he tangles his hand in your hair and leans his forehead against yours. “I want to help.” He insists, exasperated.

“You are helping.” You maintain, trying to silence his self-doubt, but you both know that’s not the full truth.

“Not enough.” He murmurs sadly, pressing a chaste kiss against your lips–so soft and unsure, beseeching, seeking approval from you, everything that his kiss wasn't. 

You are suddenly angry. You don’t want to be thinking of that stolen kiss. You don’t want to judge your future kisses by it, no matter how favourable they appear in comparison. It shouldn’t have happened and you certainly shouldn’t still be thinking about it.

But you can’t stop. Not when he has been on your mind since this calamity has been set in motion. You’ve barely seen him since that night in the forest. He has not made any attempt to speak to you or get your attention in any way again but you still can’t shake the feeling that he’s behind all of this. 

Is it superstitious and judgemental? Yes. Should you as a priestess rise above these base accusations that so many of your fellow people so easily fall into without thinking? Yes. But you can’t help it. Not when his mere existence has poisoned your mind–shutting your eyes and plugging your ears to the point that you are barely hearing the sweet sounds the boy in front of you is making. And when Kai tries to press his tongue against yours, you flinch back, breaking the kiss as if you were doing something wrong. As if you’ll get punished if you keep going.

“What is it?” Kai asks, concerned and a little bit hurt at your apparent rejection. 

You put on a fake smile for him. “Nothing. I just thought I saw something.”

He frowns. You can tell he wants so badly to believe you and so he tries to lean in for another kiss, hoping this time you won’t reject him, but you instinctively do, taking a step back from him, and now he really looks wounded.

“Are you okay?” He still asks, your well-being still his first thought and it fucking stabs at your heart. 

“I am.” You say and his frown grows deeper and takes on a bitter edge, now probably thinking that if you’re alright then you are rejecting him for him and nothing else, and you can’t let that stand. “I mean, I am trying to be but I just feel a bit overwhelmed with everything that has been happening.”

“You shouldn’t worry about that, my sweet. I'll protect you.” He proclaims and a small airy laugh leaves your lips before you can stop it, unintentionally offending your lover further. 

“What is it? You don't think I can protect you?” He moves away, finally having enough of your disrespect, and you panic, quickly grabbing his hands and squeezing them tightly. “I do not mean to offend you, my love.” 

He scoffs, taking his hands out of your grip, rejecting you for the first time, and just the thought of it squeezes the air out of your lungs. “But you do not deny it. You don't think I can protect you.”

“I am not sure anything can protect us.” You confess cautiously. You wish you could lie and make this better, but you can’t lie to him. At least not anymore than you already are. He has to be warned. “This… thing. It is much too dark and powerful for any of us.”

“Surely it isn't stronger than our courageous religious men and women. They have the gods’ favor. What can prevail against that?” He asks, and you pause. You have to navigate this carefully. You can’t let him see the cataclysmic doubt that threatens the very core of your beliefs. What would you even be if you didn’t have your belief anymore? What is a priestess without her gods? 

“Nothing, my sweet boy.” You paint your face with the most sincere smile you can muster and reach out to cup his face in your hands lovingly. What that looks like, you don’t know, but he still leans into your touch, breaking your heart further as he answers your fake smile with a genuine one of his own and stares at you with the night stars’ twinkling in his pretty eyes.

All the stars of the night sky but one. 

________________

The panic has now spread to the elders. They can no longer turn a blind eye to what is happening around them, especially because despite all their efforts, they are no closer to finding the culprit whose hands have now reached into their midst and left them scrambling for an answer that would explain this threat's surprising prowess. 

Was this the work of a rogue priest? A mythical demon? Were the gods themselves unhappy and smiting you down?

That last one is becoming worryingly and increasingly popular among the tribe's people with every passing day. With no real answers to turn to in times of trouble, this is the one most people eventually fall back on. If the gods are the source of prosperity in good times then naturally the opposite would happen if you fall out of their favour. 

But you refuse to believe this. It doesn't make sense to you. If the gods are behind this then why would they target their own vessel? Why would they make it look like an attack on the gods themselves?

But once again, you couldn't say that. It's blasphemous to even imply anyone or anything can harm the gods. And so who do you blame when the gods aren't happy with what their subjects are doing? The leaders of those subjects, of course. If they did their job correctly and faithfully the gods would've protected them from whatever was out there lurking at the edge of darkness. 

This is the line of thinking that scares you the most. If people fall into this trap then it could quickly turn ugly for Kai and his family, even you. You're not at the top of the command chain but you're a priestess of the gods and if the people perceive that you're failing in your duty to appease those gods then you are in trouble.

Kai tries to calm you down, reassuring you that the people are just stressed and panicking but that once the culprit is caught, this will only strengthen their loyalty to his family and the religious leaders who have protected them. Which all sounds great in theory, but how in the hell were they going to achieve that when they still haven't the faintest clue as to the culprit's identity? No one knows who is behind this and at this point, everyone has started turning on everyone else around them. Neighbours were suspicious of their fellow neighbours, dear friends no longer trusted each other. Even families were starting to break at the seams with fear and doubt. The whole tribe was on the verge of moral collapse and the elders and leaders could do nothing to stop it. 

You, of course, retain your perhaps paranoid inkling about the dark boy. It all makes sense to your panic stricken mind. He knows the layout of the temple from your stupid stories. He knows where the sacred items that have gone missing were kept. He even knows some basic spells and he could learn much more from those stolen artifacts. 

But surely that's not enough? You've trained for years and even you could not carry out an attack of this magnitude. There is no chance he could be capable of this. And what would he even be doing this for? What does he gain from it? Just to spite you? Surely not. You’re being delusional, succumbing to the same panic the common people were. You have no proof and going around accusing him will just land you in trouble. It would just reveal your ill-advised past friendship with him and cast you in an even more suspicious light. 

You have to keep your diseased thoughts to yourself, but it becomes increasingly hard each passing day, especially when you receive yet another “gift”.

When you first saw it perched there innocently on your table, you thought it was from Kai. He has a habit of leaving you gifts, big and small, here and there to try to brighten your day and make you think of him instead of being trapped in your gloomy thoughts. They ranged from little sweets he liked or a pretty flower he found to extravagant rings or hair ornaments he had made specifically for you. 

This one is an ornate, delicately carved wooden box which is one of the most beautiful containers you have ever seen–and for a moment you wonder if that is the gift in itself–already thinking about how you'll surely be using it to store all the precious jewelry he has already gifted you. 

But you were curious to see if it did contain anything, and you find yourself eagerly grabbing the lid and pulling it open to see if there is anything inside. 

But as soon as you do, you quickly drop it with a scream, your knees giving way under you and plummeting you to the ground next to it, the contents of it rolling on the floor in a bloody trail towards you as if it was chasing after you. 

You scramble like a trapped hare away from it, barely realising that your parents have joined you in the room after hearing your cry and the crash. 

“What is it, child?” 

But you can’t answer them, throat closed shut and eyes glued to the detached orbs on the floor–there in front of you lay the sacred bull’s missing eyes. Its eyes that used to be so bright in life with warmth and light now replaced with icy blue crystals crudely jammed in the middle of the irises to form the evil eye, and its menacing gaze was set directly on you. 

You can’t deny it anymore. You are the intended target. If the gods were watching you through the creatures eyes in life then this monster is watching you in death. 

He was here again, in your home, in your room, just like he had been in your temple. There is no refuge of your own that is safe from his dark presence. 

“Oh dear gods, save us.” You hear your father whisper fearfully, following your line of sight and realising what had alarmed you so. 

“It’s for me. I have been cursed.” You say, your voice devoid of any emotion, body going cold with a numbness that can only come about from the realisation that one is utterly doomed. “What am I to tell Kai?”

Your beloved will surely abandon you once he finds out and you cannot fault him. Even love has its limits and who would stand by someone who has the evil eye upon them? 

“Have you gone mad?” Your mother hisses, grabbing you by the shoulders and pulling you to your feet, shaking you. “No one is to hear of this.”

“But mother–” If you don't tell him, he will be dragged into this curse too and you can’t do that to him. It is one thing to be cursed but it is another matter entirely to be so vile as to knowingly extend the same fate onto your beloved.  

“Nothing! If you speak a word of this to anyone, we'll all be cast out. Do you want to kill us?” She asks and you blanch. “No, of course not. I would never wish to hurt you but I do not wish to hurt him either.” 

“He will not get hurt. We can fix this.” She tells you and you stare at her in disbelief mixed with a small inkling of hope. “How?” 

“Every curse has its antidote. Just as someone put this curse on you, likely a jealous girl who wanted the future leader for herself, we can lift it off.”

“You believe this is the work of a mere jealous girl?” Your father asks, clearly doubtful, and she wrings her hands nervously, not believing it herself. This was too advanced, too dark. “Perhaps. Doesn’t matter. Whoever did it surely cannot stand up to our combined power. I am confident we can dispel this.” 

“There is no use.” You shake your head, despairing. “The evil eye is set upon me. I am doomed.” 

Your mother slaps you. “Hush you stupid child. Do not speak such things. You are not doomed. This is merely the work of someone who is trying to ruin your reputation. They're bluffing. They may not have even done this correctly. See, they've already made their first grave mistake. Now that we have an item connected to them we can reach across the ether directly to pull them to us and reveal their true face. Then we shall strike them down and end this once and for all.”

Your tears start to dry and you look at her hopefully. You hadn't considered that. Of course! With this–this vile object in your grasp you can finally trace all of this back to the abominable culprit. “Really, mother? We can stop him?”

“Him?” Your father asks sharply and you cringe back, cursing yourself for the slip-up. “Him. Her. It. Whatever is behind this.”

You hold your breath as he scrutinises you. You imagine a look of suspicion in his eyes and you look away in guilt. Oh gods please don't let him see. You would not bear the blame and disappointment. You felt awful enough already. 

Finally, after a measure of silence, your father proclaims, “Yes. whoever is behind this has some power. I can feel it. But we have had the blood of the mages in our family line for centuries.” You almost breathe a sigh of relief. If your father says it, then it must be so. But then he continues, “He is no match to us.”

You gulp, nodding. 

___________________

Your parents are fluttering about, arranging the final pieces of the ritual. The smells soothe you, the routine familiar. You know this. You're good at this. Even if he is behind all of this, he still doesn't know as much about it as you do. The art of magic has been in your family for centuries while he is a mere novice. He doesn't stand a chance against your family's power. You’ve gotten yourself into such a state over nothing. 

You step up to the circle with a smile. This will all be over soon.

Your family places the wreath of weaved Mugwort and Enchanter’s herb around your neck. They bless you with burning sage and mark your skin with precious dyes in divine symbols meant to invoke the protection of the gods. Once you’re anointed and dressed appropriately, you all reach out to clasp hands and start the chanting, calling upon the gods to watch over you during this perilous venture. You feel a cold breeze overtake the punishing heat in the air and cool you down for the first time in weeks, the bone-deep fever that had been hanging heavily over you starting to seep off your skin. You feel your face naturally relax into a smile as the healing, soothing power of the gods you adore touches your soul once more .

This is it. The curse will lift off you. You should have never doubted the gods. They would never let a true believer like you succumb to such vile forces of evil. 

But your relief is short-lived, barely there before it is whisked away again as your parents continue to chant, now demanding the evil come forth to reveal itself, and you start to see a black cloud materialise in the air and sink down over you, first clouding your vision then stifling your breathing and eventually coming to wrap itself around your body, paralysing you with its sweltering heat. 

You look to your parents in panic, barely able to see them through the steamy haze. You try to open your mouth to say something but it gets swallowed up by the damp darkness surrounding you. 

Please. Cast it away again. I don’t want to do this anymore. I’m scared. Please. You desperately wish to tell them, a sense of dread flooding your paralysed body so fully you fear it would drown you. 

But they don’t stop, going on with their spell, this time attempting to pull the evil away from you to force it to take shape in the centre of the sacred circle so that they can finally start to attack it without hurting you. But it will not let go of you. It fights back, lashing out and digging its claws into your skin with savage force, making you cry out in pain and almost let go of your mother’s hand, but she holds onto it tightly, not letting the spell break.  

You gaze towards her, a fearful look in your eyes as you experience the real pain of your skin being torn into. This thing is even more powerful than you all thought and you can see it in their eyes too. It frightens them but they steel their resolve and chant louder, demanding the evil to let you go and reveal itself to them. 

You wish it wouldn’t. What you’ve seen of this force so far has been nothing but alarming. Just the awareness of its malevolent presence is enough to make you want to run away and hide. You don’t want to face it. You know that’s stupid and irrational of you. Even if you can’t see it, you will still know it is there, coiled so tightly around you and blocking out all the goodness and light in the world. It is too late to back down now, not when you have already called it forth. 

You hear the strain in your parents’ voices as they grapple with the force, bellowing at it and demanding it let you go, but that just makes it dig its claws deeper and deeper into your body until it almost reaches bone. The pain is becoming unbearable and your head starts to swim with the sensation of losing too much blood. You look down at your body, half-expecting to see it gushing out of the deep gashes you can feel in your skin, but your eyes don't meet any red. 

Instead what you do see makes you almost pass out in horror–black leathery hands engulfing your figure in its hateful grip, its dirty claws digging into your skin as it struggles to hold onto you against your parents’ forceful invocations for it to depart. You can feel the anger and malevolence emanating from it and burrowing into your body. It doesn’t want to let you go. It wants to keep you in its hold until it has consumed you whole. 

But your parents won’t let it. Their power reaches forth to wrap around the vile creature and pull it off you, brutally yanking at it until its claws tear off your skin and it is finally forced to let go. 

You shake like a leaf as you see it standing there towering over all three of you in the middle of the enchanted circle. You cannot make out much of its features–the dark cloud like a veil seeming to shimmer and sway over it, obscuring most of its face and body, but you can see the ghastly pointed horns atop its head and those same deathly blue eyes fixed right on you. 

“Who sent you?” Your father asks, but the figure does not answer. It doesn’t even acknowledge your father at all, its cold gaze squarely on you as it reaches forward towards you, desiring to reclaim its grip on you.

You shrink back and try to yank your hands out of your parents grip, wishing desperately to run away from this thing before it manages to latch onto you again.

But your parents hold onto you tightly, your father shouting at the creature, deciding it is too dangerous to try to gain any answers from it and focusing instead on attempting to banish it. “Begone, foul spirit. Cease back to the underworld from whence you came.” 

A shock of power springs up and shoves the creature back and away from you. Its cold, dead eyes light up with fury and it finally moves its ghoulish gaze away from you and fixes it onto your father who slowly starts to be surrounded by the same dark cloud that looms heavily around the creature. 

“What are you doing?” Your father asks as the cloud sways and slithers like a pit of snakes over his body. “Oh, heavens, please.” 

The fear in his voice is almost the most gruesome sound you’ve ever heard, second only to the howl of pain he subsequently lets out as the ghostly tendrils tighten themselves around his body and squeeze, crushing him. 

“No, please!” You cry out, once again trying to pull your hands away. You like to think that if you succeed you’d try to liberate your father from the force’s deathly grip, but you know your terror is so great that you’re just as likely to run away instead.

You don’t get to find out however as your mother keeps her grip on you almost as tight as the creature does on your father, her voice ringing loudly around your home, indirectly telling you to focus on the incantation and not break the spell as the black tendrils coil tighter and tighter around your father’s body. 

You do your best, you really do, joining your shaky voice with her forceful one to keep the spell going but you know your mind is unfocused–your soul not present fully as you watch the life being choked out of your father in horror.

You see it in his eyes first–the fear breaking through his usually steely and stoic gaze. Then it’s his voice, hesitant and strained as the evil spirit coils tighter around him until the words are barely choked out. Then it’s the horrible crunching noise, like bones getting crushed by a boulder, followed by a strained wail that barely sounds like your father, barely sounds human at all.

“Father!” You can’t do it. You can’t keep the spell going, not when blood starts pouring out of the corner of his mouth and his eyes protrude forward as if they’re being squeezed out of his skull. 

The last sound you hear from your father is a haunting low groan that comes from deep within his chest before it gets abruptly cut off as a spurt of blood comes forth from his mouth to drench you and your mother, his hands finally letting go of you as he falls limply to the floor. 

“No!” Your mother screams, also letting go of your bruised hand and rushing forward to catch her husband, only to recoil in horror as his body crumbles gruesomely in her arms. 

You back away, not looking at them but instead staring at the shadowy figure still standing over them. Your mother is too busy wailing over your father’s corpse to pay it any mind but you cannot take your gaze away from it. The danger is still here and it’s coming right at you.

You try to run away but it is too fast for you. Its shrouded hand shoots forward to grab onto your arm, its oppressive strength keeping you in place.

Oh gods, what have you done? Your ritual meant to bring the dark force forward in order to defeat it has only succeeded in giving it shape and allowing it to dig itself even deeper into your lives.

And it knows it too. It’s obvious in the sinister way it smiles at you before it slowly dissipates back into the night air, unseen but ever-present. 

________________________________________

Your father’s burial is a quiet affair. Your mother claims publicly that his death was the result of a terrible attack by a wild animal but you’re not sure if people believe it or not. There are bound to be rumors and gossip swirling around about your father's mysterious and sudden demise in the morning, your family’s name will undoubtedly be in everyone’s filthy mouths as they sling forth accusations and suspicions at you and your mother the same way they did to Beomgyu. You don't miss the irony in that. 

They’ll wonder if your mother has killed your father to hide a lurid affair or if you���ve done it because he discovered some terrible secret you’ve been keeping. But those few who have seen his body and helped return it to the earth will know it was neither one of you, because like the sacred bull, what has become of him couldn’t have been done by a mortal hand. They’ll lie down in their homes at night, clutching their families close to their bodies and wrestling with the harrowing knowledge that the darkness is now coming for them and their children. 

Your mother stays by your father’s grave all night, weeping and wailing–her cries rattling the hearts of all those who can hear her as if she’s a spirit heralding all the death to come. 

Kai tries to stay by your side but you refuse to let him. You’ve seen what you’re up against. None of you stand a chance and you won’t be so selfish as to let it hurt him too. He needs to stay away from you. 

But as you lay down for the night, wrapped up in all your furs despite the suffocating heat that refuses to leave you, you selfishly regret keeping him away. You wish he was here with you. He would not have been able to protect you but at least you wouldn’t be alone. 

No. That’s not true. You’re not completely alone. It’s here. You can feel its dark presence and yet it toys with you, not making a single move. For hours you lay there staring at a singular spot at the roof of your home, unwilling to let your gaze wander around and confirm your dreadful suspicions. For hours, your body stays as rigid as a dead mouse with eyes just as frozen, waiting for that same suffocating grip to coil around your body and crush the life out of it the way it did to your father.

But it never comes. And slowly the energy drains out of your tense body and your tired eyes can stay open no more, falling down and letting you slip into a dangerous slumber.  

That’s when it finally makes its move–when all your defenses are down and you cannot muster enough strength to lift a single finger in your defense, not that you had any delusions of being able to fight it off. 

Your mind is sluggish–caught in a state between consciousness and sleep. It can barely process what is happening, just vaguely aware of its presence above you that stifles your breathing, and when your heavy eyes slowly open, your vision dark and bleary, they are met with that unmistakable bright blue gaze. The evil eye. The creature is upon you. 

It reaches its hand forward to cover your face, your eyelids growing even more heavy at the touch. 

“Please.” Your voice sounds distant and strangled to your own ears but the dark figure doesn’t answer back. It is as silent as death as it coaxes your mind back into darkness.

______________________________

A/N: please leave a message letting me how you're finding the fic so far. feedback is what keeps me going and I am so excited about this fic and wanna know if you're excited about it as well

you could let me know what you think will happen next, what you think the ending will be, who you think she'll end up with or who you want her to end up with, if you think gyu is actually involved or not and what he might be doing. the possibilities are endless lol

[sinnabarmoth]

Tribute for the Dragon (6/18)

Pairing: Dragon|Sylus x Fem|Reader

Summary: After the events of the hot spring you take to avoiding Sylus. It goes well until you accidentally wander somewhere you shouldn't have been.

Content Warnings: Adult language.

Length: 2k

Chapters: (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (7) (8) (9) (10) (11) (12) (13) (14) (15) (16) (17) (18)

Read on AO3

“I am going to hurl myself off the mountain.” you muttered into your pillow. “I’m really gonna do it. I can’t go back out there and face him now. My only option is death now.”

You had been hiding back in your bedroom since that morning. You knew you technically had duties but you could not bring yourself to leave the room. When you thought about what happened back in the hot spring your entire body got heated.

It was one thing to have your own little forbidden fantasies that confused you but it was another to actually live them! You couldn’t act like Sylus wasn’t attractive. He was. If he were human then you probably wouldn’t be feeling so conflicted about it. But he is at least part dragon and while it looked like the only differences were cosmetic ones, you had not taken into account that there would be biological differences too!

He could really smell when you were aroused! That was beyond unfair! Now what were you supposed to do? Apparently if you got aroused you stunk up the entire mountain! You would reek and he’d know and how were you  meant to go about your normal duties knowing that at any moment you could have a sudden fleeting desire and he’d pick up on it like a hunting dog tracking a rabbit!

Then his offer to help! Dear gods above, you were going to get aroused again if you thought of the implications.

Maybe it would be fine. You could survive this. Knowing what you knew now the lust would eventually fade and things could go back to normal. He’d get bored of teasing you and--

No. He would not get bored of teasing you. It was stupid to think otherwise. But he may at least stop making blatant comments about it at some point.

With that in mind you decided to be brave and go back to your work. You were just going to do your best to avoid Sylus until you felt that you could be normal about this again. And avoid him you did. You crept through the tunnels like you were a thief in the night. The moment you heard him you darted in the other direction.

When it came to preparing meals you cooked them, shouted that the food was ready, and took off again. And you knew that Sylus could tell that you were avoiding him. If he really wanted to he would come seek you out wherever you were. For whatever reason he was letting you play this out. Perhaps he found it humorous or maybe he understood why you were doing it and was giving you that space. It was impossible to say which was correct.

All you knew was that the thought of seeing him made your skin alight and your legs tremble. Honestly, knowing that he could sniff out your desire made you feel aroused more often now. It was like when your foot was itchy but you didn’t realise it was itchy until you thought about it. If he had never said anything you probably would have been fine.

You didn’t know how long you could keep this up. Something had to give.

Then one day you were walking about the mountain when you heard Sylus coming down the same hall. You panicked and ducked into the closest room to you. At the time you hadn’t noticed the X carved over the archway.

You ducked inside, pressing yourself into the shadows waiting for him to pass. You stared into the darkness of the room and slowly your eyes adjusted. It looked like an empty spacious room. The only thing you could make out was the glint of metal further in.

Your curiosity got the better of you, no longer worried about Sylus coming down the hall and got closer. In the wane light you were able to make out what was there. It was an old chest. No shiny adornments on it or anything, just plain wood and iron.

Why was this in here all by itself? You glanced back at the doorway. You didn’t hear Sylus. He must have passed by.

Slowly you hefted the lid, the hinges creaked loudly as if they had not been moved in years. Perhaps they hadn’t. You had to squint and angle the chest towards the light from the doorway but you could make out a few things inside. Most of it was some old books and clothes but there were two things that caught your eye. One was a large piece of what looked to be an eggshell and the other was a shining gold pendant. Pendant was the wrong word. The disc you held in your hands was as wide as a dinner plate on a chain as thick as a rope.

It was dazzling. It almost seemed to glow in the darkness, a thin shine of red coming off of it. The design on the face was simple but masterfully done. Swirling designs crisscrossed the surface into some looping star shape.

Why would Sylus keep something like this in here and not the hoard room?

“Are you done snooping?”

Shit!

You froze, dropping the pendant back in the chest and closing the lid. Sylus was standing behind you, silhouetted in the door. You couldn’t see his face against the shadows but the ice in his voice was indicator enough that he was pissed. “I told you not to come in here.”

“Sorry.” you blurted out. “It was an accident.”

“And was it an accident when you went through my things?” he stalked further into the room.

“No…I just saw the chest and my curiosity got the best of me. I’m sorry. Really I am.”

“Well, I hope it was worth it. Now get out.”

In all the time that you had been here, this was the only time you had heard him genuinely angry. Your heart clenched and you held your arms close to your chest.

“Yes, master.” you squeaked out and fled the room as fast as your feet could carry you.

You did not see Sylus for the rest of the day and this time it wasn’t because you were avoiding him. He had disappeared from the mountain again. The room, when you walked past it later, had been blocked off with a mountain of rubble. Whatever that room was, whatever was in that chest meant, it was clear that Sylus did not want you in there again.

You felt guilty about looking through his things. There was no excusing your actions and if you had been smarter about it you would have never touched that chest. You would have recognized you were in a room you shouldn’t have been in and left the moment you were sure Sylus was gone. But now he was angry with you and you did not know how that would affect things between you.

This was arguably worse than the whole masturbation debacle. At least you knew where you stood with him regarding that. Now, you were scared. Not of him. You didn’t think he would hurt you. But you were worried that he would put you at a distance now. What if all you ever were to him from here on out was a servant? What if he decided he didn’t want you around anymore? Would he send you back to the village?

“Damn it.” you sighed. “I have to talk to him.”

You searched the mountain but like you had suspected earlier, he was missing. Probably gone on another flight. You went to the entrance and sat down. He’d come back at some point and you’d be waiting.

~~~

Sylus had been trying to give you the space you so desperately wanted after what happened in the hot spring. You were embarrassed and nervous, he expected that. But he had been sure you would get over it in time. So he let you hide and run, partly amused by how nervous you were.

Then he had caught you in that room. There were few places he didn’t want you treading, most of them were for safety reasons. The room that you went into though trying to hide from him was one that he had marked off for personal reasons. What he kept in there was for his eyes only. At least it was until you opened that chest.

He had seen what you were holding and all he wanted was for you to drop it. Forget everything you had seen.

When you looked at him…what he saw…what he smelled even. You were scared. Scared of him. The sour stench followed you out of the room. He didn’t want that. You were never supposed to be scared of him.

He went to the chest, checking the contents inside and slammed the lid shut once more. He then blocked up the entrance so no one could enter again. There was no reason for anyone to be going in there. Never again.

That sour stench of your fear was still in the hall. “Damn it.” he didn’t want to be here when the mountain smelled like this. It only reminded him of that terrified look you had thrown at him. You had looked so helpless, so small. The only time he had seen you look half as scared was when you first came to the mountain in that ridiculously extravagant dress and the makeup that had sweated off your face. But then, that fear had never been directed at him. You had always been so strong and so brave about everything that happened to you.

With one look he was scared that he had destroyed the trust you had put in him. What if you wanted to return to the village now? If you were truly that unhappy he would let you go in an instant. But the mountain would be so quiet without you. He needed to correct this before you were too far gone. But he also needed to clear his own head first.

He stayed out in the sky, flying without direction. He hadn’t noticed how long he had been gone until the sun started to set in the sky. He immediately turned back, hoping that he could catch you before you went to sleep.

It was dark when he returned. The mountain no longer smelled of your fear. And to his surprise, there you were.

You were at the mouth of entrance, propped against the stone wall, eyes closed as you slept. Had you been waiting for him?

“You didn’t need to wait out here,” he murmured to your sleeping face. He shook his head and gently scooped you up into his arms to take you back to the bedroom.

He had just gotten you back to the bedroom when you started to rouse, your eyes opened and squinted up at him. “Sylus? Where did you go?” you said through a yawn.

“Doesn’t matter. I’m back.” he set you on the bed.

“I’m sorry.” you rolled over to keep looking at him.

“I know you are. Go back to sleep.” he pulled the blankets up around you. He turned to leave but you caught him by his hand. “What is it?”

“I really am sorry. I don’t know what it was about that room or that chest that you didn’t want me to see but I do feel bad about going through it. I just…” your hand gripped his tighter, “I guess part of me looked through it because I wanted to know more about you.”

Sylus had not been expecting this. “What do you mean?” he asked, kneeling next to the bed so you were eye level.

“For as long as I’ve been here the most I feel I know about you is your name.” you said. “I don’t feel like I know anything else.”

“You wish to know my past?”

“Not even that.” you sighed, “I just want to know you. If I am to spend the rest of my life here, I may as well know the only person I may ever get to talk to.”

The rest of your life…

You weren’t asking to go back to the village. That’s all that mattered to him.

“That is fair enough.” Sylus said. “You may ask as many questions as you want, in the morning though. Then we can both get to know one another better.”

You smiled, it was sleepy and small but you had smiled at him. “Good.” your eyes closed again.

He looked down and saw your hand was still curled around his claw as you drifted on back to sleep. “What a strange little human you are.”

[slxtarchive]

𝐝𝐫𝐮𝐧𝐤 𝐭𝐞𝐱𝐭 𝐦𝐞. ᥫ᭡ 𝐦𝐚𝐭𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐨𝐥𝐨

𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬. you and matt had recently separated and it’s been a couple weeks. you decided to keep off social media for a while but this one particular day you didn’t. part two <-

𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭. I AM CRAVING A MATT STURNIOLO X READER INSPIRED BY THE SONG DRUNK TEXT ME BY LEXI JAYDE. - hearteyes4chris <-

𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬. lots of angst!!!

𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬. i really hope this met your expectations and im sorry if it’s short! i went straight based off the song so hopefully you see the relations between! lmk if u want a matt x reader make up like a part 2 where they get back tg idk but enjoy!!

𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭. 700+

it’s been almost a month since you and matt both decided you needed to separate. you hated using the words break up because it would make it real; although it felt real now.

things didn’t end on the best of terms and because that you decided you wanted to stay off social media. you knew people would begin to speculate and try to predict what happened and knowing you, you wouldn’t be able to stop reading comments once you started.

you woke up one day feeling better than usual. you had a spurt of energy so you decided you should get out of the house for real and not just to get food.

you decided to go to the gym and get brunch by yourself. you then went on a walk, something you had never done before.

unfortunately the walk wasn’t as pleasant as brunch. everything reminded you of matt. the way you’d hear someone laugh and think if you were ever going to hear his laugh again. how there are some things he’d point out and you’d both have a good laugh at them.

those thoughts brought your mood down so you decided it was time to go home.

you got home and took a long hot everything shower trying to get yourself together.

once you got out, you continue your normal routine until finally you felt nice and clean and settled in your bed.

you put a movie on trying to distract yourself for the rest of the day.

evening came along and you were officially bored of the tv.

you stared at your phone contemplating your future actions. you felt it was time to log back onto social media. you had to mentally prepare yourself for the backlash, the comments, the pictures and photos. anything that could potentially trigger you.

you took a deep breath before logging back into instagram, twitter, and tiktok.

you opened instagram and the first thing you saw was a video of a party. you continued watching until the video showed a guy and a girl full on making out in front of the camera for a few seconds. then, the video ended and started over.

you gulped, looking closer and seeing the familiar locks of hair and earring. all of a sudden you felt sick to your stomach.

while you were here, trying to heal…matt was…

you looked at the caption.

sturnioloteam | 📸 matt with a girl at a local club in LA!

via @/anonymous on instagram

you clicked on the comments. terrible mistake.

view all 178 comments

@/sturnbabyyy: that does not look like y/n

reply to @/sturnbabyyy from @/stunagirl91: what im sayin 👀

@/mattloverzzz: THAT SHOULD BE ME!! but get it i guess y/n.

reply to @/mattloverzzz from @/colbyjackcnm: I don’t think that’s y/n 😭

@/youdontknowme: this is crazy…

you stopped reading. your eyes started to sting as you scrolled further into your feed seeing more and more photos and videos.

after your separation breakup, matt was hooking up instead of healing…

you thought hard about how what he did. no matter how much he hurt you, you would never had done something like this to him.

you hated how much you were in love with him and because of that his actions pierced right through your heart.

the fact that when he got drunk his initiative wasn’t to drunk call or text you and spill his feelings out. his initiative was to hook up with a random girl. seeing those videos and photos was like getting hit in the stomach and getting the wind knocked out of you.

you couldn’t help but wish that he was thinking of you while he was with her. you wanted him to crawl back to you and tell you that she was nothing. that every second he was with her was a second he wishes he was with you. that no matter if she brought a smile to his face, the smiles you brought to him were bigger. that he can’t live without you. that he’s still in love with you. that he needs you.

that’s what you wished for.

instead, you were granted with more pictures and videos, this time tweets as you scoured the internet on twitter x.

tears were cascading down your face, blurring your vision. you stared at the pictures. your heart aching. you told yourself you’d never put yourself in this position but here you were.

fully and uncontrollably sobbing.

you hated that after all he’s done, after the hurt he’s caused; that you still want him. that if he called you right now you’d take him back…

instantly.

© slxtarchive

[yanderederee]

Hi there! Can i please request Yandere Kazutora with letter H?

Hell: What would be their darling’s worst experience with them?

Oh boy… Karutora is delusional and dangerous if he’s tested. Any little thing will set him off even normally, but if you deliberately did something to get a reaction out of him? Babes, welcome to hell.

The worst thing you could do to him is make him feel like you will leave him. Kazutora needs you to only think about him, rely on only him, forget everyone else, and hold him close to your heart. That’s not so hard. And he loves the way you will always validate him when he shows you those puppy eyes begging for your attention.

Hypothetically; let’s say you pulled a harmless prank, sent him the “My boyfriend just left, you can come over now♡” prank text.

It’s over. Doesn’t text back. Immediately turns around, and slams the door wide open with a crazed blank stare. He’s pissed Off. You’re actually scared, despite claiming he could never do anything to make you feel that way. He slams the door shut and locks it, comes over to you, and puts his hands round your throat.

Even when you try to explain that it was a prank, there was no one else, you didn’t have any intentions of inviting anyone— None of your empty words mean anything to him. He’s delusional and doesn’t believe you.

You can’t tease him like that. He’s not okay.

“Who is he? I’ll kill him. Did you think this would be funny? A prank? Am I just a joke to you, something you can laugh at once you become bored? I don’t understand. It’s not funny.”

You’ve broken him. It only takes that one time to completely make him snap. Kazutora feels hurt simply by the thought of you leaving him for another person. And after making him even slightly believe it could be true?

You’re not leaving your (now shared) living space for a long, long time. He’s broken your phone, and if you attempt to retaliate, Kazutora in his blacked out state doesn’t have the willpower to hold back from hitting you. He’s made it plenty of mistakes while in blackout rage, and he’s wanted to grow from those mistakes and be better. But old habits aren’t easy to change.

You think it’s been a month before you see Kazutora smile again, and treat you with care. The hell he put you through had finally come to pass. All the bruises he’d left on you had finally healed, and if he decides to let you both go outside (for a date), no one would be able to tell you’d been locked up for weeks. Kazutora may appear the same on the outside, but you know what kind of monster lerks inside him.

Don’t make him feel like that again.

[wayfayrr]

Alright, I wonder how long an ask can be. U asked for it!😝

Also, if u were curious, since I’ve only played Botw and most but not all of totk, 98% of the time my yandere self-aware ideas will be of Wild/Tears.

How does Wild/Tears feel about the fairies? Like, is he embarrassed that reader has to watch that? Does he worry what they think? Or is he just like “eh, I can’t control their upgrade animations, sorry”. Then how does he feel when reader thinks it’s kinda cute/funny? I don’t want to traumatize the poor guy, but I must admit watching the level four animation is slightly funny bc I feel so bad for him. And in level three when he covers his face is cute.

What about when he just has to sit there for 10 hrs his time? Listen, I wanna upgrade the darn champion’s tunic but the stupid upgrades require 2 of each farmable dragon Zelda item. And I couldn’t find her for so long it was annoying. Ik she follows a certain path but even so u have to just keep following the path hoping u eventually run into her. So I just decided to farm an item, then sit there for 10 minutes r time until she’s farmable again. So how does Tears feel? Am I wasting his time? Is he bored? If he had an animation for it would he fall asleep? Would he glare at me for making him sit there for 10 hours? Plus, ima be honest. For those 10 minutes of me just waiting, I’ll usually scroll on my phone. I’m not gonna stare at the tv for 10 minutes, sorry lol. So is he mad that I’m not paying attention to him and stuff?

What about if I laugh at him? Alright, I don’t do it That much lol, just if I make an embarrassing mistake w him and he looks a little funny. Would he be embarrassed? Mad? ….?? I think he’s cuuute! It’s fiiine, right…?😭

Thinking about my one ask where I used him for science, totally not using bombs on him for any other reason! Anyway, so I have to admit, his overheating animation I like. I’m all for angst/whump w characters. Whenever I read AO3, 98% of the stories r angst/whump for Wild/Tears. Sicfic? Yes please! Nightmares? Yes please! Psychological torture? Sign me up! There was this one fic someone wrote about Wild being hit by a curse that trapped him in his memory next time he unlocked one, so he had to watch it over and over and over. The rest of the chain had to save him. Tho, if it makes u feel any better, I only like happy endings, no open ended ones, no sad ones, or character deaths. Nope. Fairy tale where they all lived happily ever after please and thank u lol. So anyway, I got sidetracked lol. My question was, would he be mad if I just put the game on the clothes menu when he’s overheating so he doesn’t lose any hearts over it, just watching him do it for a minute or two?

Sometimes I need to wear like one clothing item per outfit so I can use like 3 different abilities. For example, maybe bandana to climb faster, gloom shirt for an extra heartbreak, and snow pants bc it’s freezing? And sometimes I’ll complain that he looks ugly, well, not him, but the outfit, and say that I wish I could make him look cuter but I need these abilities atm. Does he hate the outfits like I do? Does he care more about function? Does he hate that I care so much?

How does he feel not being able to talk? Like literally every other character can talk except him. And he can’t do anything by himself. Everything he does is either a programmed animation or an action by my controller. I bet he has a lot he wants to say but can’t. Does he ever worry that if he were to get out and see me, what if he couldn’t talk to me??

🐰

yeah it's always a lot easier to think about the links you know better for stuff like this ngl, so I don't blame you for sticking to them. plus wild and tears are just fun too right? :3c

so starting from the top -

I think the fairies are a touchy subject for him, if you like the cutscenes then he can set his discomfort about being picked up and kissed somewhat - don't get me wrong he doesn't enjoy it but for your happiness he'll do it as many times as you make him (although, unless he finds a way to override the controls then it's not really like he has a choice in it) he'll make notes about how you like him acting in certain ways though - I mean if you like seeing him as a blushy mess covering his face in the game then you'll like it more when he's doing it in person right? Please don't make him recreate the level four one though.

To be honest, there's nothing that you could do to him that he could ever consider a waste of time. would he prefer you to be actively engaged? sure. Is he bothered if you're still there but just waiting for a bit for the dragon to recharge? Not really, yeah he'd prefer to be doing more, but at the same time it gives him a chance to observe and to get more of a grasp of how the game works while it's on and running compared to when he's robbed of his body and is left a being floating in a desolate void of numbers and machine code. He can relax and still have feeling and eyes on you and your eyes on him every now and then even though it's not as often as he'd like. as for the time? I think once he became aware he stopped running on hyrules time, so it's only ten minutes for him too. Ten minutes that granted feel longer than that cause of the scenery, but still only ten minutes. if it were a situation where he was still in a hyrule then he'd be further detached from anyone else. (my thoughts are if the game is left in standby on the switch then it's all still loaded and the links have free reign but if it's closed and you're playing another switch game then it tosses them into the abyss)

laughing at him for being cute is all good but please don't make fun of him ;-; he's only doing what you make him do after all!

I need to write more whump and hurt/comfort for tears actually, thanks for the reminder Well, he's not getting hurt by it -soooo he's kinda a bit deluded into thinking that it's another show of love for him. You simply love all the sounds that he's making <3 (and I don't blame you, his whimpers are actually just so adorable?????) You care so much that you're not letting him get hurt for your happiness!!!!

I think he takes it as a compliment that you care so much about how his outfits look, he wants to look his best for you too!!! If he could he'd find a way to stack the different bonuses so that you could treat him like a proper dress up doll without having to worry about the environment and how it impacts him :c he doesn't care what outfit he 'wears' cause it's not like he's actually wearing and interacting with it. it's glued to him like a second skin so whether you're keeping him shirtless or putting him in the thickest shirt possible there's no difference to him just don't mod him so that he's no longer himself please

The fact that there's a chance he wouldn't be able to communicate with you is something that he worries about alot, not even just not having a voice. He'd be fine with being mute if he can write or sign to you, hell he could probably delude himself into being fine that he couldn't do that if he could move freely and hold you. what scares him the most is the idea that he'd be like a puppet cut, that if he gets out that without the code acting as his strings he falls limp like a puppet cut loose. that's what's horrifying to him. anything else he could learn to live with, but that potential keeps him from making any rash movements where the cost could outweigh the benefits. I like to think that out of desperation, (this goes for sky in the fic too) they stole another characters voicebank from another game :) one that speaks your native tongue preferably, but at the very least one that shares a language you speak

[monsterswithimagines]

Undisclosed Desires - Part 20

Joe Goldberg x female!Reader

Summary: Twenty minutes before he would have met Guinevere Beck, Joe meets you instead. You intruige him, but it will soon become clear that there is something off about you.

Words: 1472

Masterlist

Smuuuuuuut. For those of you who are getting bored of the sex parade, don't worry. This is actually the last smutty part in a while. We need to be getting on with the storyline lmao.

What I'm going to do is nothing.

We are having a great night with Paco. He is dressed like Spider-Man, and you love Spider-Man. The two of you talk about the movies and the comics all night.

I feel like a third wheel, but the good kind. We are a tricycle.

One day in the future, we will have a child or a couple of children of our own, and it will be just like this. You will be able to talk to them about their interests and I will be the smiling, overindulgent father who listens and brings home gifts - books, toys, anything they want - and grosses the kids out because he still loves their mother, even after ten, twenty, thirty years of marriage.

I really believe that's our future, (Y/n), and you believe it, too. That email I sent was a mistake, but when you find out about it, I'll say it wasn't me. You'll believe me. You'll think you've been hacked. And of course, it will never happen again.

What was your mother thinking, anyway? Why would she send you an email like that? Doesn't she know how much it hurts you when she speaks to you that way?

One thing's for certain: I see why you feel the need to keep all your anger inside. Your mother is like a child who's tantrums you need to endure. You don't want to be like her. You want to be her opposite in every way.

She was right about one thing, though. I am the perfect man. And as the perfect man, I understand better than her why you try so hard to please your grandparents. Without them, you have no family you can depend on.

You have me, but we are not a family yet. You're not ready to take that step. You like to take things slow, and I'm beginning to better understand why.

At the end of the night, we drop Paco off at home and then go inside. You flop down on the couch and yawn. You worked all day and babysat all night. You are tired.

I sit down next to you and wrap an arm around you. You lean into me and close your eyes, breathing deeply.

This is perfect. I love you when you're like this.

“Hey,” I say.

You answer softly: “hey.”

“You want me to run you a bath?”

“I'll fall asleep and drown.”

I have to admit, that seems like a real possibility. You are just about falling asleep on me already.

“I'll get in with you,” I offer. “And carry you to bed after.”

You humm. You're not agreeing, but you're not disagreeing, either. I get up and go run that bath. You follow me and get undressed on the way. You are not shy about being naked in front of me, now. Even if you were, you're too tired to think about it.

Once the bath is full, I get undressed myself and step into the water. I hiss, because it's a little hot for me, but that's how you like it, so I'll just have to deal. You follow me in and you rest your back against my chest. I wrap my arms around you and you relax even more.

“I love you, Joe,” you say.

“I love you more.”

You don't fight me. We both know it's true.

You tilt your head so I can kiss you. It's slow, almost agonising. We've never had sleepy sex before, or sex in a bath. And you've never been on top while we had sex either. All new possibilities to try.

You notice I'm hard - how could you not? - and you smile into the kiss. Even though the bath is tiny, you manage to manoeuvre around so you're facing me, stradling me.

“I'm really tired,” you tell me, even as you guide me into you with your hand.

“Uh huh,” I say.

You grind. Water makes sex dryer but you are so wet for me that it doesn't matter. You huff out a breath at the tiniest amount of friction and I could come from this, right now. I could. Because of the look on your face. Because of the way your eyes flutter closed when your tiny, tiny movements become a rhythm.

Thank God I didn't fill the bath all the way to the top. Some water sloshes over the edge and I'll have to clean the bathroom later, but it could be worse.

“So tired,” you repeat. “I just want to have this nice bath and go to sleep, Joe. Can we do that?”

“Of course,” I say.

Somebody could hear this conversation and not realize we're having sex. But I am hard inside you and you are pulsing around me and you want my cock, all the time, no matter how tired you are. If you could carry it around inside you, you would.

And I completely understand, (Y/n). Because I want to be inside your pussy forever.

Your movements speed a little and this is driving me insane, this slow build. I stand and I lift you and you let out a squeak. I've never heard you make a sound like that before, but now I want to hear you make it again. You are tired and your guard is down, and I bet I could draw the most beautiful noises out of you tonight. I just bet I could.

I don't care that we're both still wet, and you don't care either. You wrap your legs around me as I carry you to bed, and you pull me with you when I lay you down.

I enter you again in one fluid stroke. I keep the slow pace you set for us, but my thrusts go deep. Our hands interlace above your head as we kiss.

This slowness, it's new. Neither of us are patient when it comes to reaching our peak. But tonight, you are tired, and I am in a mood to explore you. To see what you'll let me do with you.

I want to tie you up. I want to make you come again and again until you're begging for me to stop.

Not now, I decide. But it's not a bad idea.

I kiss your face, your neck. I pull out of you so I can kiss your breasts. You were close already, I can tell from the low moan you let out when I leave you.

“Joe…”

You rarely say my name during sex. I love it.

I massage one of your breasts with my hand while I lick and suck your other nipple. Then, I allow myself to wander. I kiss down your stomach and your legs and I even kiss your feet. My hands rub your thighs and I can see you clenching, but I won't touch you where you want it most. Tonight, you'll only come on my cock.

“Joe…”

I kiss my way back up your body and I kiss every knuckle, every finger, and when I finally enter you again you are a gasping mess. You need it. You need me badly. You are not usually loud but even your soft moans are exquisite, (Y/n). And when they get louder, I know it's because you've never felt like this before.

I feel you cum. Your pussy clenches and your body jolts, and you only let out a single, short “ah!” but it is beautiful. And I am not done with you.

You tremble as I continue to make love to you. My name is a prayer on your lips now. I whisper yours in your ear like a mantra. Your body is tense from your first orgasm and you are close to a second, I can just tell you are. After you cum again, I'll cum. Then, we'll fall asleep just like this, with our bodies still locked together.

“Please, please,” you whisper.

Your second orgasm rolls over you more slowly than the first. You tense and you shudder and I am so, so close behind you. I just need–

“Please, Joe. I need you. I need you.”

That's it. I still as I empty myself inside of you. You stroke your hands through my hair and hold me close and you are not the only one making noises you've never made before, (Y/n). I didn't realize sex could be like this. I feel like a new man.

“That's it,” you tell me when my body finally relaxes. “Thank you, Joe.”

We fall asleep just like that, my body draped across yours like a blanket. Then, an hour later we wake because we are wet and cold, and you complain as I get up to flip the mattress and change the sheets.

And I love you. I love you.

[yayll]

https://www.tumblr.com/yayll/759326311116308480/havent-slept-yet-but-just-as-i-was-about-to?source=share

Hi, this anon again😅 haven't slept yet again...it's 6 am🙃. I just love the idea that Dazai with all his godlike intelligence is the kind of guy to see immediately what troubles or struggles his significant other has with themselves or in general.

If you have trauma he will immediately catch on, self esteem issues? Immediately caught on, mommy or daddy issues? People pleaser? He knows it, and many other things, he will immediately figure it out as you both date.

He'll probably even do little things that you'd think he doesn't understand how much it means to you, like validating you, making sure you always have a specific comfort of yours at hand, you'd think he just does it because he saw that you liked it, but it was because he knew what it would do for you, what it makes you feel.

Dazai sees you and he doesn't just see your traumas and things you struggle with of course, he first sees someone he loves unconditionally. Dazai knows you love him with all your heart especially after knowing about his past.

Dazai will tell if you're sensitive, if you're uncomfortable with loud noises, if you get emotional about a lot of things, if you're lonely around people, if you're masking your real personality around other people, if you've only heard criticism instead of any praise, if you've been undermined and seen as a second choice, Dazai will know.

And he will show you from the moment he picks up on everything, that you're never gonna feel like that again as long as he's there, and he will always be there. He will validate everything you always wanted to be validated. Dazai from the Port to ADA is very much "gun is love, gun is life" to "what is gun, what is this metal thing that can hurt another human being!?" An exaggeration of course but that's how he probably would be even though he's joking, but the second someone tried to mess with you, suddenly every training he had in the Port comes back and he's immediately shown to be this incredibly intimidating and ruthless man to anyone who tries hurt you.

Have a beautiful forever Hun💖🥺 I know you said in the last message you've had a rough time and I genuinely hope you're doing better 🥺💖 a reminder that you're so amazing and you deserve the best, you deserve to be happy and i wish you the uttermost happiness and love and good health, you're still so incredibly young, you have so much time to accomplish everything or anything you want, you're doing well, get some sun, hydrate yourself, sleep the best you can(because I know sometimes we don't always get enough sleep) and eat well💖🥺

I'll leave these emojis for now so you'll know it's me next time😅

- 🥺💖

HELLOOOOO my sweet 🥹💖

i'm so sorry i have such a late reply! i've been working on some writing and also quite literally irl so i'm just trying to catch up. you are amazing and i'm wishing u the best of health and happiness right back :') love is all we rlly have in this world. things are a lot better lately on my end and i hope you've been able to sleep comfortably even if it takes u a while! MWAH.

and also. i just rlly wanted to indulge those lil things you said about dazai because they are sooooooooo true. sooooo fucking valid. GUN IS LOVE GUN IS LIFE TOOK ME OUTTTT LMAO i actually love the way u talk abt dazai's highly intuitive side, it's quite literally what makes him so compelling as is. and in a relationship/partnership? oh it's a goddamn dream. he's like a hawk watching and registering your every mood fluctuation and the cause of it, tryinf to see how he can rectify it immediately. and i also FIRMLY believe he will use any and all past PM training to facilitate ur happiness should he ever need to. he'll be like:

"Hey, take five. You've been at it for hours now and frankly, it's boring watching you work."

"I can't, I'm so behind on reports and I'm helping out with the agency holiday party, I also need to-"

Dazai's eyes narrow, and shakes his head rapidly. Mission accepted, he thinks. He knows what you need, and if you won't cater to your needs, he'll have to just do it himself. He lives to see you at ease, because you deserve the entire world. You will not, under any circumstances, be stressed under his watchful eye... And he also just really wants an excuse to cuddle later without having to hear about dumb things like work. It's a win-win, and you don't have a choice! He sighs, and puts on his little performance.

".. You expect me, the great Osamu Dazai, to simply watch as I witness my favorite detective work themself to the bone?! Absolutely not! I refuse. Come, we're going to the cafe downstairs."

You groan as he pulls you, smiling in reluctance.

"Dazaiiii, i'm serious.. plus, don't you have like, a huge running tab there?"

He flashes you a sly smirk and a wink.

"That's why I have you, silly! Your philanthropic and generous heart is willing to treat me as your penance for being so stubborn. How noble of you. You really shouldn't have."

You roll your eyes, sighing deeply as you zoom out of the agency with him.

"The waitress there wants to kill you, you know."

You mutter under your breath with a playful smile. Dazai gasps dramatically and looks back at you, still holding you by the arm, tighening just a smidge.

"Oh, goodness! I'm quaking. well thank god i'm bringing you, my precious little scapegoat~"

Despite your feigned annoyance, your cheeks redden, and it's hard not to become endeared with how relentless he is in his pursuits to distract you. what a slack off, you want to kiss his stupid face until he shuts up. You might just have to.

"You're the worst, Dazai."

"Mm, what a weird way to say 'I love you.' I'll take it."

this is a silly little thing, but basically overly observant and on the case Dazai he just NEEDS to make you the happiest whether you like it or not!

i love u, mwah :')

-ivy

[yuriko-44]

Am I the only one that doesn't really use affirmations on the regular?

One thing about me is that I don't want to do things unless I have fun with them. Luckily this doesn't apply to studying lmao (at least most of the time-), but it does to shifting.

Saying the same things over and over and over again is too repetitive and boring for me, so I just...don't really do it-

There are times in which I do use affirmations, but most of the time I try to focus on other things for the sake of not getting bored and dropping whatever I'm doing to shift.

If there's anything I've learned about shifting is that we shift constantly. I don't need to affirm to get up and go to the kitchen to get a snack, I just do it. So why would I need to do it to shift?

There's also the fact that when I keep repeating something in my head for a long time I kinda forget what I'm saying- or even how to say it unless I stop for a minute (you know that feeling when you say a word multiple times and suddenly it doesn't sound like a real word? Yeah, that). And most of the time my mind just ends up thinking about something completely unrelated and I completely abandon my method.

Instead of affirming that I'm in my dr I try to 'feel it'. Basically I think about being in my dr without using words- if that makes sense. I'm not sure how to explain it to be honest.

And obviously, since I've never seen anyone in the shifting community not mentioning affirmations, my smooth little brain HAD to start overthinking- but he better shut up, because I'm tired of his shit💀

And actually I just remembered that not everyone has 'a narrator' in their head when they think. And since literally anyone can shift then why wouldn't I be able to do it without affirming the way most people do? Also, there are people who have shifted on accident/without meaning to- AND ALSO, there are people who have shifted without knowing what shifting was- HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO NOT MAKE IT WHEN THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO HAVE SHIFTED WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT SHIFTING WAS??? I don't think they went to bed while affirming of being in their dr SINCE THEY DIDN'T KNOW WHAT SHIFTING WAS- AND YET THEY DID IT!!

So yeah, I'm going to shift now, goodnight!!

[queerprayers]

Hello Johanna :), sorry to drop something so negative into your inbox, but I was wondering if you'd have any wisdom or insight to share about how to square God's love with a disabling condition I have which is over time becoming more and more disabling, and taking away the things I love and which filled me with life when I was able. I lean on God so much, but I am finding it difficult to feel loved (and loving) when everything is taken. I was an athletic person, that was taken away, I loved to read all day and watch films - I am now unable to focus my eyes on a book or screen for more than 10 minutes at a time and rely almost entirely on text to speech. Even typing this out hurts. Life hurts right now, I know God's love is here, always, but I don't know where to find it when I struggle to see, struggle to walk, am stuck in an extremely small and limited life. I can't help feeling that I would be a much better Christian if I could see without struggle and pain, could read more, watch 2 hour films again, if I could walk and run in nature like I loved to do. I could help people with my body and my mind. I feel like an empty cup for the world and for God. Anything you throw at this I would love to receive

Hello beloved, I'm doing my best to keep this succinct for your sake, but this is not one of my strengths, for which I apologize. I do live with disability, but I don't pretend to understand your experience and if I say something you don't connect with or doesn't reflect your life, I hope you'll forgive me. Thank you for using some of your precious energy to reach out to me—I'll try to make it worth it.

No apologies for negativity. This is honesty. Personally I hate unearned positivity. Your pain is real, and I know what it is to lose the ability to do something beautiful or important or even just not boring. I want to give you hope, not optimism without substance.

The reality is, the ways we serve God have to change. Money, time, energy, broken relationships, aging, illness, disability—our lives are impermanent and fragile, and we cannot depend on any of it. Once we think we've figured it out, the tables turn. The minute I think I get it, that I am living out what I believe, something always happens. The things you mentioned have been ways you've given the world such beautiful gifts, and sooner than most, you are losing some of them. In my care for my neighbor and my grandparents, I see how frustrating and embarrassing it is to need help with things that used to be easy. How limiting it is to have to find a different, more achievable hobby. But such is the way of a moving, mortal life.

I'm so glad you know that God's love is present and something to lean on. The ways you honored God with your action were manifestations of that love—but the story cannot stop there. God willing, most of us will live long enough to be disabled. If action were the only to honor God, we would be instructed to denounce those without it. We may as well die young. And of course there are Christians (and many others) who have treated disabled people like this. But Jesus directly answered a question put to him (for a change) to tell us that no one sinned for a man to be born blind—there is no straying or lack of serving God or punishment in disability, whether in our ancestors or us. Rather, the works of God are displayed in him. (Yes, there's a whole lot more to the chapter, but I'm only going to make this point instead of a hundred.)

You say you could be "a much better Christian"—it is true that the good Christian you imagine, the one you used to be, the one you would be if only things were different, is not someone you can be right now. If I had more money, I would give more to others. If I had less fatigue, I could be more politically active like I used to be. Maybe I could have been a musician, without my chronic pain. If my grandfather had not developed Alzheimers, he could have preached a decade longer. There are so many ways we could be the good Christians we imagine in our head—but they aren't real. We live in this world, not one with no limitations. We would all be much better people if we never got a headache or never had to worry about paying rent or never experienced trauma. Some things we can change, by putting in the work in our personal lives or in our community to bring about more justice and health—but our world is not something to be fixed. It is somewhere to live, trusting that God has a future for us, one where "mourning and crying and pain will be no more, for the first things have passed away."

So, we cannot be the Christians we imagine in our heads, if only the world had not happened to us. The question then is, what Christians will we be? In our small lives, with our limitations, when things are taken from us, when our cups are empty. It's easy to be generous when we have too much, but Jesus said blessed are the poor. It's easy to protect others when we are strong and in control, but Jesus said blessed are the meek. It's easy to ignore suffering when we are not affected, but Jesus said blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness. What kind of Christians will we be, with what we are given? Meek ones, hungry ones, poor ones. God's grace can only pour into empty cups. God's power is made perfect in weakness.

I just read the first chapter of God Hunger (by John Kirvan), which was on Longing through the words of C.S. Lewis. Lewis says that "This hunger is better than any other fullness; this poverty better than all other wealth." It is better to long for God than to be satisfied with the world. Which does not make it hurt less, only makes it holy. And If this is not enough for you right now, know that you do not have to walk the road alone. 

Moses could not speak as he was called to, so Aaron spoke for him. We can't do everything, nor can we do it alone. And what you still have, no matter if it is small, is what you were given to give back to the world. If it is rest today, so be it. Asking for me to throw my words at this may have been all you had that day. And our small connection, your willingness to ask for help, my thoughts (if there's even a shred of usefulness in them), glorify God.

For everything there is a season. In my church, our prayers ask that those who need help may have "understanding helpers and the willingness to accept help." This always strikes me. God is glorified when we help, but also when we accept help. Without the beloved, there is no love. I desperately hope you have understanding helpers, with time and energy for you. But you are also part of those good works—accepting care with grace.

Paul tells us that just as the body has many parts and yet is one body, so it is with Christ. That we were all baptized into the same body. "If the ear should say, 'Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,; that would not make it any less a part of the body. If the whole body were an eye, where would be the sense of hearing? If the whole body were an ear, where would be the sense of smell?" We need each other. Sometimes our lot in life is to care for others, and sometimes to be cared for—but really, they are one and the same, part of the same body of Christ. 

Love is not equal, it is not fair. Christianity makes no room for equitable exchange or reciprocity or bargaining. What we cannot give to the world, God asks us to receive anyway. When we give things up for Lent, I like to think we are coming closer to the state of having nothing but God. You have no choice, which is full of pain. But the final truth still stands: when we have nothing but God, we have everything.

You're in my prayers. May the Lord make his face to shine upon you as you are, in the new ways you will find to exist, in the knowledge that disabled people throughout history have found strength in the love of God, that the better Christians we become exist in our own lives—we don't believe in alternate universes. There is this, now, and there is the world to come. Advent brings us hope for both these things. Be an open cup, for the world and for God. It will not be filled with the past, but the future.

<3 Johanna

[keyotos]

disgusting

summary ⎯ after a long day, all you want to do is relax with your boyfriend.

tags ⎯ gn!reader. tooth-rotting fluff. ONE minor innuendo. basically alhaitham is in love.

tana's words ⎯ hi guys sorry for the mini hiatus but i'm bored and i am going to write this very quick and very simple drabble just bc

"why do they always have to run?" you complain as you settle onto the couch that alhaitham was quietly reading on. "i mean, it's never gonna do anything. like, we are the matra. we can catch up to you at any second, but noooo, running will most definitely allow you to evade us," sarcasm dripped from your voice.

alhaitham puts down his book and turns his attention towards you. earlier that night, when you arrived home, you barely even greeted him. now, alhaitham is not one to get clingy due to the fact that you didn't greet him with as much affection as usual, but he was missing you quite a bit (not that he'd ever let you know that), so he was concerned.

the affection you had given him prior tonight was a chaste kiss on the lips. it wasn't much, but it still meant a lot to him, whether he showed it or not. tonight, you pressed a chaste kiss to his cheek. ridiculous, alhaitham is well aware, but it still raised some concern within him. your actions meant you probably had a stressful day, which made alhaitham want to know more.

when did he start finding himself enthralled with your very essence? there was no switch to define when his feels for you developed to more than just friends. only a heavy beating in his heart when he was around you. only a feeling of airiness in his chest when he spoke to you.

"what happened today?" alhaitham asked calmly, being the complete opposite to your frazzled antics while describing your hectic day. to help you relax, he began to rub his hands up and down your thigh. you melted into his touch instantly, letting out a deep breath.

"oh you know. the usual research fraud. wasn't even that bad actually. he was probably going to get like, what, two months of suspension and eight months of community service? better fate than most. but instead of surrendering, he chose to run all the way from sumeru city to gandharva ville!" you ranted, throwing your hands in the air to indicate your frustrations. "and he even tried to hide. from the matra. from me! like, you're cornered like a deer here, might as well surrender and make it easier for everyone else."

you rubbed the thigh that didn't occupy alhaitham's hand, "also, i'm sore as hell. all that running from sumeru city to gandharva ville and then all the way back has me spent. i feel like i'm not gonna be able to walk for days."

alhaitham lightly scoffed in response. you were tough, one of the matra's best at that. alhaitham could also think of instances where you couldn't walk, yet pulled through for the next day (ignoring his advice to stay home). however, he wasn't going to comment about that at the moment.

his gaze never left you the entire time. alhaitham was so incredibly focused on your face, studying you and focusing on you like a researcher would, hoping to never let something as brilliant as you go. his eyes traced the movement of your mouth every time you groaned; the way you squeezed your eyes shut when you raved about another frustration; the way your hands moved sporadically through the air.

again, when did go from simply observing you to essentially admiring your every move? and why is it so easy to do so?

"hey," you dragged out the word and poked his cheek. "were you even listening to me? or were you just gawking at me?"

alhaitham is snapped out of his daze, refocusing back on your words. well, he was always focused on your words. just not at this moment. "of course i was listening," alhaitham rolls his eyes teasingly, "if he ran all the way to gandharva ville, maybe he had more to hide. why else would he go through all the trouble? or maybe your face scared him so much he felt he had to run far, far away."

you rolled your eyes, "very funny, acting grand sage. are you trying to get involved in matra business now?"

"quite the contrary," alhaitham countered, "just wanted to get involved in my partner's life. is that a crime?"

"yes," you replied instantaneously. "you'll be arrested now. hope you know that you're getting the life sentence," you grinned, grabbing his wrists and placing them by your hips. you were caged underneath him, smiling wide as ever.

alhaitham finds it hard to not smile back at your antics. most of the time, he tried to keep a stoic composure to keep people away and hide his intentions. but with you, he finds that it all melts away, leaving it only you and him and nothing but bliss.

you were the first to break the silence, "so... were you actually listening to me or were you just making inferences based on what i was saying earlier?" your voice was nothing above a whisper, letting it be known that it was only you and him in the house.

"'course i was listening to you," his voice matched your soft tone, words filled with sincerity and admiration, "how could i not with a voice as sweet as yours?"

and that's when you lose it. you lose it for two reasons: alhaitham was teasing you and you knew that during your entire rant you sounded anything but sweet. malice and exasperation flowed through you as you spoke about today's events. alhaitham was simply pulling your leg, the bastard.

but, that did prove that he was listening. only he would be able to distinct the way your words moved through the air, tainting it with annoyance and irritation. only he would know.

you shoved alhaitham off of you, sending him back to the other side of the couch. "you're disgusting!" you giggled and shoved his shoulder, "i've had enough of you. i'm going to bed," you grabbed a pillow from the couch and shoved your face in it, hoping that alhaitham wouldn't be able to see your blush.

but of course, alhaitham sees through you yet again. "okay. i'll see you soon," he picked up his book and continued to read, knowing that you'd be next to him in a matter of seconds. if you weren't in the matra, you would have had a fulfilling career as a researcher with your curiosity.

"what are you reading?" you rest your head on his shoulder, peering at the pages. you let the pillow that you were holding go, now discarded to the side as you moved towards your boyfriend.

alhaitham closed the book to show you the title, which you read out loud, "remarkably bright creatures. taking a break from nonfiction?" you turned your head to look at him. that feeling alhaitham had in the beginning of your relationship came back, his heart thumping wildly in his chest. no matter how many years you two have been together, alhaitham thinks that he will never be able to shake off the feeling of being in love with you.

"needed to replenish my pallet," he shrugged simply. his vagueness made you even more curiouser, alhaitham's goal in the first place. you could chalk this up to him trying to engage your interests again, but really, alhaitham just wanted your affection. as stupid as it sounds, alhaitham is a man who (at the end of the day) just wants his partner's touch.

you let out a hum and move closer towards him. you had your knees raised up to your chest, reading the words alongside him. your arms were touching, your head almost leaned onto his shoulder.

once you found yourself fascinated enough with the novel, alhaitham took this as his chance to get you closer. he grabbed your waist and pulled you into him, now so close that he could feel the air exhale from your nose. you, too distracted from the words in front of you, didn't seem to pay any mind.

"'as a general rule, i like holes,'" alhaitham began to read from the book, causing you to subvert your gaze towards his face, "'a hole at the top of my tank gives me freedom. but i do not like the hole in her heart. she only has one, not three, like me. tova’s heart. i will do everything i can to help her fill it.'”

"you know," your fingers dance along the bicep that you've curled under, "this octopus reminds me of a certain someone. impassive on the outside, yet he cares about others on the inside."

"comparing me to a sea animal now? i'm surprised you've hit a new low," alhaitham teases you. he accepts your compliment by kissing you on your jaw.

"shut up!" you swat at the same bicep you were just relaxed under, "if i was really comparing you to a sea creature, you'd be a sea lion. cute on the outside, but horrible on the inside," you exaggerated.

alhaitham smirks, "you think i'm cute?"

you immediately notice where you've went wrong. you can't hide your flustered expression from alhaitham this time. you wouldn't be surprised if the bastard planned this. "i also said you were horrible."

"but you also said i was cute," he retorted as if he was boasting.

"emphasis on was. maybe not anymore," you couldn't help but smile at your response.

alhaitham pressed a kiss to your temple, "really? not at all?" he raised an eyebrow as he looked down into your eyes. they say eyes are the window to the soul, and alhaitham is one to think that it is true. he didn't really believe it before he met you, but now, everytime alhaitham looks at you it's as if he can understand everything you're trying to say based on one gaze.

alhaitham was already leaning forward when you decided to kiss him, like he knew that it was coming. cocky, you wanted to think. but you know that's not the truth.

alhaitham knows you so well that it's disgustingly endearing.

hi guys!! sorry i've been away for so long. my writer's block has been so bad and it also doesn't help that i've began my six-week volunteer program as well as other work. i'll try to regulate updates to be asap, but i still dk bc of my crazy schedule. hopefully i'll be able to update more often, but until then!

[mins-fins]

★̲ YOU HAVE ONE NEW VOICEMAIL FROM . . . 나재민 !

SEPTEMBER 9, 00:22 AM

HI BABY!! okay um before you purge me and murder my entire family i'm sorry for not calling you yesterday.. it was after the first show and i was exhausted but anyway, how was the concert? did you enjoy it? do you think i did well? do you—[a small shout is heard from behind him] I AM NOT "WHIPPED" SHUT UP! ignore chenle he doesn't know what he's talking about, is it bad that i love my dear partner so much? he's just sad and lonely—AM NOT!— ARE TOO! STOP YELLING AT ME!! you're gonna come tomorrow right? if work doesn't keep you in that is, god i hate your job, and i miss you, i miss you so bad, it's going to be hard to do this when international tour dates start, all we have connecting us is some stupid phone..[another shout is heard from behind him] OKAY FINE! it's too late, we have to wake up early tomorrow, alright bye i love you! sleep well!

NOVEMBER 23, 22:45 PM

haechan totally tried to trip me on stage today, that little shit..anyway, hi baby!! sorry for the like— two calls every week but it's been so hard to find alone time for myself these days, i really like japan though, we should come here sometime for a trip! just me and you, maybe on one of my breaks, if i can even get one. i miss you, having jeno as company is beginning to get boring, i mean, i love jeno obviously but i see him every single day!! i'm literally about to go insane without you here, i'm about to pay for your flight here and make up some excuse to your manager about a family issue or something.. will they even believe that? i don't care, it's been a while since we went anywhere together, just the two of us, also, did i tell you your mom called me? apparently she really liked our performance, she called me to tell me about it!! anyway um, i have no time left, hope you have a good night, i love you!!

NOVEMBER 26, 02:09 AM

jeno snores way too loudly, so no sleep for me, and he also complains so much about everything so now i have to whisper for this, but anyway, i know you're probably asleep as well so it doesn't matter if i send this cause you'll see it in the morning but i don't care! whoops, right, whispering. i can't believe that you can't come to the shows, it's all sooooo boring without you. i always search for you in the audience but then i don't see you and i get upset, you being in the crowd would make everything much better, hopefully you can at find time to get here before the final japanese show this year.. is this corny? i don't think so, i just— i miss you, i say that all the time but i do, a lot. um yeah that's all, i should probably sleep now, i love you!

DECEMBER 2, 21:37 PM

I KNEW YOU HAD SOME STUPID PLAN! i can't believe i didn't even notice you sneaking up on me that was….. i can't start, i'll go on and on forever. how did you even get backstage? did you talk to mark or something? i don't know i guess i'm just— i'm just very surprised, you didn't even tell me anything! i'm not going to lie.. it was such a smart plan, i'm glad you were able to make it, seeing you again was so nice i almost cried having to let go of you, and yeah i tried to contain myself in front of the members but i couldn't, they had to get it though! because when you're partner is right there you can't just stand there and be normal, i did mean to trap you in that hug! god being able to wrap my arms around you again was so nice, you give such good hugs you know? i know you won't be here for long but let's make the most of our time together okay? i'm happy you're here, alright i have to go now, good night, i love you.

DECEMBER 10, 09:30 AM

hi hi!! happy to say that i will be back soon! don't be surprised if i just randomly show up in your house one day, world famous idol na jaemin in your kitchen, making himself some coffee, you might have a heart attack, i hope i don't scare you again, not like that one time after hot sauce promotions ended.. your face was hilarious, i'm sorry for that one baby, i was really just trying to surprise you.. anyway, tour picks back up in february, so we have time to be idiots and go on stupid dates, get chased down by the staff.. okay maybe not that, the last time they almost caught us was funny though. alright um— just wanted to tell you i'll be back soon! i'll make sure to pass by a convenience store and get you ice cream, and yes i'll remember to get cookie dough this time, still not sure what you have against strawberry..alright that's it! i'll see you soon, i love you!!

[creative-kny-fics]

can you make Lee Muichiro and ler inosuke? Thank you bro there no Fics of them

The “We Are Not Girls” duo

JJSHSKSHJSHDKSJS STOOOOOOP

Ler: Inosuke Hashibira

Lee: Muichiro Tokito

'Why do you look like a woman...?'

'Why are you screaming like one?', ugh, bad start.

Well my dear readers, here we are again with the adventures of little fog, a.k.a Muichiro, let's see what is planned for today...

'Tokito-San, I am so happy that you have started to improve with your memory problems and now you act like a child according to your age'

'Thank you very much Shinobu-San, but I notice you are worried, why?'

'Well, I understand that you're a pillar and you have responsibilities and so on, but I'm worried that you don't have friends or talk to kids your age. Living with other people is not bad, try to have friends. Maybe Tanjiro's friends are a good choice, they're kind of funny and you'll never get bored with them around!'

Well, with the beginning we already know who was the first one he decided to go with, and if not, it was with Zenitsu.

Although he didn't really want to talk to him, he wanted to talk to Nezuko since she was more his age and he had already talked to her a little after she recovered, plus she was Tanjiro's sister and Muichiro adored Tanjiro.

'This thing about making friends is difficult, why isn't everyone like Tanjiro? I think Shinobu-San was wrong, I don't find their adventures funny. First of all, how does Tanjiro put up with them? That blonde boy acts like a baby and is very loud, poor ears...', oh well, there are still more options little fog! Keep trying!

He was finally able to talk to Nezuko, although she only referred to Muichiro as "Inosuke", he didn't care, he believed it was because that was the name Nezuko heard the most.

'Nezuko, do you have friends?'

'In-Inosuke! Zeni-Zenitsu! Gi-Girls! Kot-Kotes-Kotetsu! Senju-Senjuro! Ka-Kanao! Ai-Aoi! Muic-Muichiro! Ge-Genya!' 'Woah, you really have talent when it comes to making friends... How do you do it? The people I know look at me with a bad face...', maybe it's the other way around, Mui...

Well, he remembered Senjuro, but he couldn't say that he was his friend or anything similar because they only spent time together and he couldn't consider it your friend, or is he?

And with Nezuko, well, he didn't know, he wasn't able to define who was his friend and who was just his "playmate." 'NATZEKO! LET'S FIGHT!'

'Inosuke!' 'Oh, so you're Inosuke? Wow, Tanjiro really has loud and weird friends...'

Another bad start, although it seemed that Inosuke would connect better with Muichiro than he thought, or maybe not.

We all have a different way of making friends and Inosuke's was to challenge people to fight to prove their strength and so on, so...

'HOW DID YOU BEAT ME?!' 'You let your guard down too many times, it wasn't difficult to find your moment of weakness. Do me a favor and train more because then you won't go far', oh man, here we go again...

Although here is a small detail, a detail that she wears a kimono, a bow on her head and recently conquered the sun, besides that is a demon, or a human, or whatever you like to believe.

Nezuko approached to scold Muichiro, but she didn't do it with words, she put her hands on his ribs and gave a light squeeze. Before that, Muichiro stuck his arms to her ribs and pushed the little girl away from him.

'What did you do?! I want to do it too!' 'Come closer and you will see that I turn you into pork slices...'

'Mui-Muichi-Muichiro!'

Muichiro sighed, put away his katana and walked away, this was definitely not his thing, maybe his only friends could only be people older than him or maybe he just couldn't or wasn't meant to have real friends.

How deep he must have been in his thoughts that he didn't notice when Inosuke ran up to do a pig attack and knocked him down while laughing and telling him to admit defeat.

'Mwahahahaha! Surrender before the great god of the mountain! You have no chance to escape!'

'Actually I have it. I'm not even going to bother with you, because I think you have a nut on the brain. I don't think it's a good idea for you... Eeeeh!', again he forgot that little detail...

Nezuko had stood next to him and started using her finger while saying "tsun-tsun" and poking his cheeks, that reminds you to someone?

Inosuke did the same but on his sides, although Muichiro did not allow him to do it, he got angry and did it harder and it hurt. 'Hey hey! That hurts you stupid boar!'

'WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?!' 'Stupid wild boar'

I WON'T EVEN SAY IT, anyway, Inosuke crooked his fingers and applied what Tanjiro had taught him, he didn't use as much force this time and not only used one finger, but several to start raising and lowering them like spiders from his hips to his armpits, but he stayed there because, out of defense, Muichiro stuck his arms to his ribs and hugged himself, trapping Inosuke's fingers.

'HEY! 'LET GO OF MY FINGERS!!', Muichiro denied while smiling, he couldn't resist it any longer, but if he raised his arms, would it be worse or not?

Inosuke frowned and dug harder than before, laughing when Muichiro arched his back and started laughing in earnest.

Worst? Nezuko was laughing with him and kept repeating "cute!", making Muichiro cover his blushing face as he rolled over. 'Stohohohop!! I'm too fluhuhusterehehed for thihihis!!'

'Mwahahaha! I have beaten you! Admit it! The great king of the mountain has once again won!'

'Yohohou ha-havehehehen't won! I-it wahahahas just luhuhuhuck!'

Inosuke gasped, how dare he?! But how could I make him admit defeat?!

Well, his only option was to continue until he admitted it, he couldn't think of any other way.

'Come on! Accept defeat! Isn't that a lot for you?!' 'It fehehehels gohohohod! I-It dohohehesn't bother me thahahahat ahahahaha muhuhuhuch!'

'Damn! That doesn't make sense! I guess I'll let you this time... But next time I'll ask Kentaro for help to make you beg for mercy before my greatness!', and he finally stopped.

Muichiro wasn't really upset and sat down when Inosuke got off of him and sat on the side crossing his arms.

It seemed like Shinobu was right about something, you never got bored with them.