#altezi

[deltatxt]

Story Idea: Assassin’s Creed - Sugar Baby AU (EzioAltDes)

I got the idea for a Sugar Baby AU about four days ago, and it has rotted my brain spectacularly since. Below is a quick summary of the AU, but under the cut will be the background information, the main trio's occupation and backstories, and the actual outline.

Since it's about ~5k words total, I'll be more or less dividing them into sections (just like my Ego Sum Qui Sum work) for each chapter/mini-arc of the AU.

Feel free to use this idea and/or outline!

WARNING: This AU includes mentions of child death (Federico & Petruccio) and child abuse (implied with Altaïr, explicitly stated for Desmond). While not graphic, these themes are present. Additionally, IX. The Ultimate Test features Ezio struggling with his mental health. Please skip or click off if any of this makes you uncomfortable.

Summary:

Ezio Auditore is broke, exhausted, and entirely too stubborn for his own good. Between law school, commissions, and barely making ends meet, he doesn’t have time for handouts—especially not from two annoyingly rich bastards who think they can sweep in and take care of him.

Altaïr and Desmond, unfortunately, have other plans.

Ezio resists. He really does. But then it’s their coffee in his hands, their jacket around his shoulders, their apartment he keeps finding himself in. One day, he wakes up and realizes he hasn’t paid for a single meal in weeks. He should be horrified.

Instead, he just feels warm.

Or: Ezio tries to resist being spoiled. He fails spectacularly.

AU INFORMATION

If you end up using this, feel free to change the title, but I've been calling it "Spoiled Sweetly (to my blissful doom)"

Modern AU (No Assassins, Templars, or Isu/First Civ).

Altaïr and Desmond are already in an established relationship by the start of the story.

This story is meant to span from Ezio's sophomore year to the start of his junior year (2nd Year to 3rd Year of University).

For the sake of the AU, Bad Weather (the nightclub Desmond canonically tended to) is a luxury location where the rich and wealthy gather.

I placed a timeskip between parts IX and X!

BACKGROUNDS

Ezio's Background

Law student, 2nd-year/sophomore, barely scraping by.

To make ends meet, he takes on odd jobs and art commissions, inspired by how he painted targets in canon.

The Auditores aren't exactly wealthy, but they get by.

However, when Ezio was young, a violent incident (break-in? mass murder?) took the lives of his father and brothers, leaving his mother in shock.

With no financial stability, debt collectors, loan sharks, and all kinds of opportunists swarmed them.

Maria, who was a housewife, had no means to fight back, and Ezio and Claudia were too young to do anything. They lost everything.

Maria fell ill from grief, and Claudia followed soon after.

Ezio tried his best to take care of them—worked odd jobs, bargained, and more,

But it wasn't enough, and he was all alone.

He was placed in the foster system, bouncing between orphanages and bad homes until around 16.

He fought tooth and nail for an early emancipation, managing to also get lucky enough to get a university scholarship early, even with the sub-par orphanage-provided schooling.

After managing to save up and get his own apartment, he worked odd jobs with terrible pay and dealt with awful commission clients just to afford rent and groceries.

Altaïr's Background

Runs a VIP security service that caters to high-profile clients, former military, and the elite.

People find his personality generally unappealing or difficult to deal with, but he's in high demand because he's just that good at his job.

He was born into what was essentially a cult that worshipped god-like figures (inspired by the Isu/First Civ, though they don't exist here.)

The cult's leader, Rashid, took him under his wing after his father died.

He was raised under strict, militant discipline—trained from childhood to be ruthless, efficient, and detached, resulting in a variety of scars—including one on his lip.

At 13, he met Desmond Miles, a runaway escaping his father, William Miles.

In usual Desmond fashion, he challenged everything Altaïr had been taught, managing to shift his perspective on the world.

Somewhere along the lines, he ended up leaving the cult with Desmond.

Altaïr ended up landing a job as a bouncer at a bar where he gained a reputation for being brutally effective.

His skills eventually caught the attention of legitimate security services, leading to a job offer in private security.

Over time, he saved enough money and built enough connections to start his own security company.

He and Desmond had spent years making allies on the streets who desperately needed jobs, and so those were his first hires.

Desmond's Background

Highly successful bartender serving celebrity clients and high-profile figures with information dealing as a side job.

Extremely charismatic with a wide social network—a keeper of secrets too. People talk when they drink, and Desmond makes sure to note things down for later use.

Born into a private military family with high expectations—his family has a long line of sergeants.

As the only son of William Miles, a high-ranking officer, he was pushed to his limits from a young age.

He was trained relentlessly, sparred constantly, and lived under strict discipline.

At 13, a sparring match with a live blade went wrong, leaving him with a scar on his lips.

Deciding that was the final straw, he ran away, eventually crossing paths with Altaïr.

He landed a job as a waiter at a bar, the same one where Altaïr worked as a bouncer, and quickly worked his way up over the years, eventually becoming a bartender.

He steadily climbed the ranks, moving from small bars to high-end clubs—Altaïr always close behind, of course.

Eventually, get managed to get an exclusive event bartender gig, leading to more elite events and connections with the wealthy and the powerful.

As a bartender, he hears a lot of confessions, knows things he legally shouldn't, so if someone needs information or a connection, Desmond is the go-to guy.

OUTLINE

I. Coffee & Coincidences

Desmond and Altaïr are on a rare, private date at a cafe.

Ezio, meanwhile, was rushing to class, having stayed up to finish an essay that was due the night before.

It’s actually Desmond who bumps into Ezio, though the coffee spills on Altaïr’s coat.

Ezio stares for a moment because that coffee had been a luxury—a little reward for himself after surviving back-to-back lectures and all-nighters to finish a commission.

- He had spent minutes justifying the expense in his head before ordering - He didn’t have a budget for another one. - But that was his problem, not theirs.

Ezio starts apologizing, offering to cover the dry cleaning even if he knows he’ll have to cut on his already meager grocery budget to afford it.

But Desmond is amused at the notion,

- “You gonna foot the bill for that, pretty boy?” - “I spilled it,” Ezio shot back, crossing his arms. “I’ll pay for it.” - “You sure? Because this coat isn’t exactly cheap.” - Ezio scowled, “What, you think I can’t afford it?” - Desmond grinned. “Oh, I know you can’t afford it.” - Ezio's eye twitched. - Altaïr sighed.

Introductions happen (reluctantly on Ezio’s part). Ezio doesn’t recognize them at all, though that’s not a surprise.

Desmond waves the incident off, and when Ezio tries to protest, Altaïr steps in and tells him to let it go,

- Ezio was suspicious. - But he was also late for class. - “Fine,” he muttered, grabbing his bag. “But this isn’t over.” - Desmond chuckled. “Looking forward to it, baby.” 

The pet name doesn’t register as Ezio rushes out.

Desmond is entertained, Altaïr is unimpressed, and Ezio has unknowingly marked himself as their newest obsession.

II. "Accidental" Encounters

Ezio never believed in fate—life had never really given him any reason to,

But when he started running to Altaïr and Desmond again—and again, and again—he should have been suspicious.

Instead, he mostly just felt annoyed,

- “You again?” - Desmond smirked. “You sound happy to see me.” - “Forgive me," Ezio scoffed. "I’ve had a long day.”

He runs into Desmond at a cafe after getting groceries,

- Desmond subtly prods questions at him, though he doesn’t realize. - "You get all your meals from here?"

Then Altaïr is at the library while he’s studying a case for his Criminal Law class.

Then, at a bookstore, while Ezio was struggling to justify buying a secondhand law textbook (that still cost way too much!).

Then at the university gym (Altaïr was apparently an expert at hand-to-hand combat and had an irritating way of critiquing Ezio’s form).

Then at a vendor’s stall (Desmond buys a meal and smugly offers to split, the bastard).

Ezio isn’t stupid. He notices the pattern,

- “Are you two following me?” He finally demanded after yet another ‘coincidental’ meeting at a bus stop - Desmond snorted. “That’s an interesting accusation.” - Altaïr, frustratingly enough, didn’t even blink. “Do you really think we have the time for that?”

Ezio hesitates because it's not like they had a reason to stalk some broke law student. But it's still weird as hell.

Desmond just laughs and says it's fate, Ezio counters by saying he doesn’t believe in it, and Altaïr just cryptically says maybe he should.

If Ezio had been paying attention, he might have noticed the way Desmond leaned in slightly.

Or how Altaïr’s smirk held something more than just amusement.

But he wasn’t…

Oh well.

III. The Soft Sell

It starts small.

Desmond started showing up to the cafe (suspiciously always at the same time Ezio did), getting to the cashier first and conveniently ordering one extra coffee,

- “Don’t be ridiculous,” Ezio scoffed the first time Desmond held it out to him. “I can pay for my own coffee.” - Desmond raised a brow, “Then pay me back later.” - Ezio narrowed his eyes, “I will.” - “Sure, pretty boy,” Desmond drawled, sipping his own drink with far too much amusement. - Ezio grumbled but took the coffee.

Next, it was Altaïr at lunch in the library,

- Ezio just stared at him. “You can’t be serious.” - “You don’t eat enough,” Altaïr said, utterly unconcerned. - Ezio scoffed. “I eat plenty.” Altaïr didn’t even look up from his book. “You eat whatever is cheapest and smallest.” - Ezio bristled. “That’s not—” - Altaïr finally met his gaze, sharp and knowing. - Ezio clenched his jaw. - “This is not charity,” Altaïr said simply, pushing the food closer. “Eat.”

Ezio barely recovers before the next ‘coincidence’ happens.

This time, Ezio’s walking home from university—it was getting late, which was dangerous considering where Ezio lived.

Then a sleek black car pulled up beside him, the window rolling down,

- Desmond, grinning far too smugly, leaned against the steering wheel. “Need a ride?” - Ezio exhaled sharply through his nose. “I am perfectly capable of walking.” - Altaïr flatly scanned the dark, empty streets. “Sure.” - Ezio crossed his arms. “I don’t need saving.” - Desmond smirked. “Who said we were saving you?”

And it keeps on happening, over and over.

The thing is, Altaïr and Desmond never pushed or forced anything. They just… became a constant. A presence that became normal.

Ezio should have resisted harder, really, but every time he moved to argue, they would argue, deflect, or just plain ignore his protests,

- A well-timed reminder that he wasn’t eating enough. - A teasing remark to make it feel less like charity. - A casual offer for something he hadn’t even realized he’d need.

Yeah, Ezio was losing this metaphorical war.

IV. Desmond Plays the Long Game

Ezio had always been stubborn—it was both a blessing and a curse because it kept him going when most would have folded, but also made him terrible at accepting help.

He had a habit of brushing off kindness, of turning down offers even when he clearly needed them.

Desmond found it infuriatingly endearing.

So he did what he did best—he observed, learned, and most importantly, he waited.

He started picking up on the little things,

- The way Ezio tapped his fingers against the table when he was lost in thought - The absent-minded way he ran his hand through his hair and tugged when he was frustrated - The quiet sighs he let out when he was too tired to keep his guard up

Most people wouldn’t notice, but Desmond did, so he started to intervene.

Desmond starts dragging Ezio into late-night walks, started by a casual text at odd hours,

- Desmond: You up? - Ezio: Unfortunately.

They never have a destination in mind, sometimes ending up at a 24-hour cafe, other times, they just walk.

Ezio talks about anything and everything during these, and Desmond, ever dutiful, listens.

He gets attached, naturally, because underneath the exhaustion, beneath the snark and stubborn pride, Ezio was brilliant.

One night, after yet another exhausting day, Desmond invites him over to the one he usually tends to—Bad Weather,

- Desmond: Come by Bad Weather. You need a drink. - Ezio: I can’t afford Bad Weather. - Desmond: I didn’t say you had to. - There was a long pause before Ezio finally caved.

Desmond didn’t think he’d show, but Ezio just rolls his eyes and accepts the drink Desmond poured for him without thinking.

The bar’s full of rich and powerful people, so Ezio feels a little out of place,

- Ezio glanced around the bar, brows furrowing slightly, “I feel like I should be wearing a suit just to be here.” - Desmond chuckled. “Please. Half of the people here inherited their money and have no idea how to spend it. You actually work for a living. That’s worth more than their net worth combined.” - “That’s a dangerous mindset for someone who makes money off of these people.” - “I don’t take their money. They give it to me.”

Then, Desmond prods about law school, causing Ezio to start ranting,

- “So, tell me. How’s law school treating you?” - Ezio groaned, dragging a hand down his face. “Don’t even get me started.”

Desmond slides more drinks to Ezio as he talks. A few drinks in, and he was looser, his usual sharp edges softened.

Desmond keeps him talking about schoolwork, his workload, his art commissions.

He files every little detail away.

Then, casually—too casually, really—he asks,

- “What if you didn’t have to worry about money?"

Ezio laughs, thinking it's a joke,

- “What, are you offering to sponsor my education now?”

Desmond doesn’t correct him.

V. Altaïr Pushes Buttons

Altaïr, unlike Desmond, took the opposite approach.

He engaged Ezio in a battle of wits and endurance, a game neither of them would ever explicitly acknowledge but would play anyway.

And Altaïr, much to Ezio’s frustration, was really, really good at challenging him.

It starts subtly, with a few questions here and there,

- “Explain this case to me,” Altaïr said, arms crossed as he leaned back in his chair. - Ezio, naturally, rose to the occasion. “Which part?” - “All of it.”

Ezio would huff, but his eyes would spark as he picked the case apart piece by piece.

Altaïr would listen and absorb every detail, then poke holes into Ezio’s reasoning, questioning him and countering the logic.

Ezio thinks Altaïr’s just being difficult, but then he’d see the subtly curl of Altaïr’s lips when Ezio found a way to counter his arguments, something almost like approval flickering in his expression.

And Ezio thrived.

It becomes routine, the late-night debates over cases, philosophy, or even finer points of morally gray areas.

They argue for hours until he’s exhausted, slumped over a table but grinning,

- Altaïr, the smug bastard, always looked perfectly composed in contrast.

Somewhere in the mix, Altaïr starts pushing Ezio’s boundaries in other ways, too.

Sometimes, Altaïr would slip a casual Arabic phrase or word, and subconsciously, Ezio starts picking up on their meanings.

Ezio doesn’t realize he’d been absorbing it, just nodding along and responding until one day, when Desmond called him out,

- “Since when did you speak Arabic?” - Ezio blinked. “What?” - Desmond gestured lazily. “You just responded to Altaïr in Arabic. You even said it right.” - Ezio turned to Altaïr, eyes narrowing. “You planned this.” - Altaïr just looked at him, perfectly neutral. “Did I?”

Then there would be the meals, surprisingly enough.

A moment where Ezio forgets to eat—not intentionally, of course, but with everything going on, he just… forgot.

Then, suddenly, Altaïr places a plate of food in front of him,

- “I’m not hungry,” Ezio muttered, glancing back at his notes. - Altaïr didn’t move. Didn’t blink. Just said, calmly, “Eat.” - Ezio scowled. “I said—” - But something in Altaïr’s tone made Ezio hesitate. - Altaïr simply watched him. Unmoving. Unyielding. - Ezio glared for a few more seconds. Then, with a quiet huff, he picked up the fork. - He ate.

VI. The Unravelling

With all that had been going on in the whirlwind of Ezio’s life, it made sense that he didn’t notice at first.

When Desmond paid for dinner, Ezio barely batted an eye now. Didn’t argue, didn’t reach for his wallet, didn’t even register the exchange until he was walking back home.

He brushed it off, told himself that it would just be this once.

But it happened again.

This time it was at the cafe he frequented—Ezio walked into the building where Desmond was already waiting, rubbing his temples after a brutal lecture, and Desmond just… slid a cup to him.

And Ezio automatically took it. Didn’t even realize until half of the cup was empty. Ezio opens his mouth, but Desmond beats him to it,

- “Don’t even start.” -Ezio narrowed his eyes. “I didn’t say anything.” -“You were going to.” - Ezio scoffed. “You don’t know that.” - Desmond raised a brow. - Ezio huffed. He took another sip, muttering under his breath. “Bastardo.” - Desmond just grinned. “Love you too.”

Then there was Altaïr.

Ezio hadn’t commuted anywhere by himself in weeks.

He just started expecting to see the familiar sleek, high-end car idling at the curb at the end of university.

One day, Ezio just reaches for the passenger door handle before even registering what he was doing.

It happens again while Ezio is studying.

Now, he expects Altaïr to have a snack or meal waiting for him every time he stops by the library.

Absentmindedly reaches out to the container before he even sits down because his stomach is growling.

But the breaking point happens on a cold night outside a restaurant.

All three had just finished dinner, Ezio halfway through a debate with Altaïr about some case study, while Desmond stepped away to handle the bill.

A cold wind rushes past, making Ezio shiver, then Altaïr shrugs off his coat—the same expensive one he had spilled coffee on when they met all those months ago—and drapes it over Ezio without a word.

Ezio barely reacted, only pulling the coat around himself tighter as he kept talking.

It wasn’t until they were halfway towards the car that it hit him—the already paid bill, the warm and heavy coat, the car waiting at the curb.

Oh.

- Ezio froze mid-step. - Desmond glanced over his shoulder, “You good?” - Ezio stared at the coat. Then at Desmond. Then at Altaïr. - “…I’m getting spoiled.” - Desmond smirked. “Finally noticed?” - Ezio opened his mouth. Closed it. Looked genuinely horrified. “No. No, no. I— I am not—” - Altaïr raised a brow. “You are.” - “I am not,” Ezio insisted. “This—this is just—you offered—” - Desmond snorted. “Uh-huh.” - Ezio turned to Altaïr, desperate. “Tell him he’s being ridiculous.” - Altaïr’s face was perfectly neutral. “He’s not.” - Ezio looked betrayed. “You—You are both ridiculous.”

Altaïr and Desmond exchange a knowing glance.

And that’s when Ezio realizes that they weren’t going to argue or fight him on this, not because he’s wrong but because—

- They were waiting. - Waiting for the inevitable. - Waiting for him to give in. - Waiting for him to realize there was no way out of this. - Ezio’s heart pounded. - He was losing.

VII. The Breaking Point

Ezio’s day had been shit.

It started with his exam results—he had worked hard, studied until his eyes burned, and poured hours into preparation.

But when the grades were posted, his score wasn’t what he expected.

It wasn’t a failure—not even close. In fact, he had done well,

But it wasn’t enough (not for his standards anyway).

Yet Ezio was still Ezio, so he clenched his jaw and decided not to think about it.

Then came the commission.

He had been counting on it—rent was due soon, and his budget was already spread thin,

But the client backed out with the excuse of finding another artist who could do it for cheaper, despite already agreeing to Ezio’s rate.

He swallowed down the frustration and sent a polite response, even though his hands ached to throw something,

And then, just to really twist the knife, his apartment’s heating broke.

The landlord? Useless. Maintenance? Busy. Earliest it could be repaired? Next week.

- Ezio sat on his bed, wrapped in his thin excuse for a blanket, and pressed the heels of his palms against his eyes. - Just for a second. - Just to breathe.

Then his phone buzzes, and as Ezio is staring blearily at the screen, he realizes it's Desmond,

Desmond: Dinner. No Arguments

Ezio hesitates, because he should say no. He should stay in, tough it out, and deal with it like he always did.

But he was cold, tired, and the thought of being in his freezing apartment all alone made something in his chest curl tight.

So he puts on a sweater and goes.

When he steps inside Bad Weather, it's the warmth that hits him first.

Not just the temperature, but the atmosphere—the low hum of conversation, the scent of food and liquor, the way Desmond looks up from behind the counter and immediately smiles,

- “Hey, gorgeous.” - Ezio scoffed, shaking off the cold. “Don’t start with me.” - Desmond just slid a plate across the counter. “Your usual.” - Ezio paused. Looked at the food. - Hot, fresh, and exactly what he would have ordered.

Ezio should argue. Insist on paying. But he’s too tired, too cold

So he sits and picks up the fork,

- “Altaïr’s here, by the way.” - Ezio barely had time to register that before a heavy warmth settled over his shoulders. - He stiffened and turned his head. - There Altaïr was, draping a thick, expensive-looking blanket around him like it was the most natural thing in the world. - Ezio blinked. “What—” - Altaïr said nothing, instead pressing the edges into place, making sure it was snug around him. - Ezio’s throat felt tight.

He wants to fight it. To push it off—to pretend

But he doesn’t. He just sinks into it, lets it happen.

Lets himself be taken care of.

VIII. Indulgence

Now that Ezio has finally caved, Altaïr and Desmond stop trying to be subtle at all.

Fancy clothes? Bought. Expensive sinners? Scheduled. “Random” gifts? Constant.

Ezio protests, of course, but it’s half-hearted at best now

One night, they catch him in a sweater Altaïr bought him and a watch Desmond picked out.

Another night, Ezio just steals Desmond’s drink and a piece of meat from Altaïr’s plate.

One minute he’s complaining about his old laptop—how the battery barely holds any charge, how the fan sounds like it’s dying, how he lost an entire legal brief because it crashed mid-save

Next thing he knows, he’s being dragged to some high-end electronics store by Altaïr and Desmond,

- “Guys,” Ezio protested, digging his heels in, “I don’t—” - Desmond just slung an arm around his shoulders like he was a particularly stubborn shopping cart. “Come on, baby, just look around.” - Ezio scowled. “I don’t need a new laptop.” - Altaïr, who was already heading to the premium section, didn’t even glance back. “Yes, you do.” - Ezio sputtered. “I already have a laptop!” - “You have a relic,” Desmond corrected. “That thing belongs in a museum.”

Before they can argue further, Altaïr just hands him a brand new laptop—top-of-the-line. Sleek. Expensive. The kind that costs more than three months’ worth of rent,

- “What the fuck.” - “Consider it an early graduation gift,” Altaïr said, tone utterly impassive. - Ezio was a sophomore. - He gripped the edges of the box like he was considering throwing the damn thing. “I hate you both.” - Desmond grinned, “Love you too, baby.” - Ezio groaned, pressing the heels of his palms against his eyes. “You absolute bastards.” - Altaïr just sipped at his coffee.

Following that, they drag him to a designer boutique of all places.

Ezio, of course, takes one look at countless racks of stupidly expensive clothes and tries to turn around and leave immediately.

Desmond catches him by the back of his sweater,

“I am not doing this.” - Desmond just grinned, way too pleased with himself. “Pretty boy, you are doing this.” - “No.” - “Yes.” - “No.” - “Yes.” - Altaïr—who had been watching the exchange with all the patience of a saint—finally stepped in. “Ezio.” - Ezio gritted his teeth. He knew that tone. That specific tone meant ‘stop fighting and accept your fate.’ - Ezio narrowed his eyes. “You planned this.” - Desmond didn’t even have the decency to deny it. “Yeah, kinda.” - Ezio groaned. “I hate you both.”

He ends up with an armful of clothing anyway.

At some point, Desmond shoves a leather jacket into his hands, and it fits. It fits ridiculously well. Too well, even.

Because it made him feel like he belonged here, in a world of luxury and excess, with Desmond and Altaïr.

It made something in his chest twist,

- Desmond stepped closer, adjusting the collar and smoothing out the sleeves. His fingers lingered at Ezio’s wrists, his voice softer. “Just take the damn thing, baby.” - Ezio swallowed. - For once, he doesn’t argue.

IX. The Ultimate Test

Ezio doesn’t mean to push them away. Not really, but the thought, once it appeared, refused to leave his head.

But as he stares at his reflection, wearing new clothes and spotting the new laptop sitting on his bed, some unpleasant thoughts start to make themselves known.

A whisper at first, then a murmur, and now a constant, vicious snarl in his head.

- What the fuck are you doing, leeching off of two guys who are happily in a relationship? Clinging to them like you belong? - The thought was unbearable.

It’s stupid. He knows it’s stupid. But the thought won’t leave him alone.

They had each other before he even came into the picture. They would be fine without him. Have been fine without him.

So what the hell is he doing? Why is he letting them take care of him like some helpless pretty thing?

Ezio is just… there. Their charity case. Their idiot, stray law student that they’ve inexplicably decided to pamper, and for what? What does he bring to the table? What does he give them?

The answer is obvious.

Nothing.

So Ezio stops.

He decides, in the only way he knows how, that he’s going to prove to himself and them that he doesn’t need them. He digs in his heels and stubbornly refuses everything.

For the first three days, it isn't so bad.

Desmond swings by his apartment to pick him up for class. Ezio tells him he’s already on his way (A lie—he takes the subway and hates every second of it).

Altaïr hands him a coffee when they cross paths on the way to one of his odd jobs. Ezio shakes his head, feigning indifference. (The caffeine withdrawal headache kicks in two hours later.)

They try to buy him lunch, and he refuses.

They ask him about dinner, and he makes up some bullshit excuse.

Desmond and Altaïr watch him. They don’t push, but Ezio can feel their gazes, sharp and considering, like they’re waiting every time they just so happen to come across each other.

By the fourth day, Ezio is flagging.

The subway is miserable. The coffee withdrawal is worse. He’s eating the bare minimum—whatever he can scrounge from his apartment or afford on his own.

It’s familiar and lonely and stupid. So stupid.

But the thought of giving in—of crawling back with his tail between his legs—is unbearable.

By day five, he’s pushing through on sheer willpower alone.

He’s exhausted. His body aches. His assignments pile up. He doesn’t sleep because there’s too much to do, and the lack of proper food is starting to get to him.

But he can do this. He doesn’t need their money or their stupid fucking kindness. He doesn’t need—

He doesn’t mean to pull an all-nighter, but the legal brief he’s working on refuses to cooperate, and before he knows it, the sun is rising and he hasn’t slept at all.

He’s sluggish, thoughts slow, and the only thing keeping him upright is sheer force of will.

He goes to class running on fumes, doesn’t hear a single word of the lecture, and stumbles back to his apartment in a haze.

And then, somehow, Desmond is there,

- Ezio blinked, sluggish and barely comprehending as the door swung shut behind him. - Desmond is standing in the kitchen, completely at ease, a bag of takeout on the counter.

The smell of food hits him like a punch to the gut, stomach cramping angrily, all the while Desmond looks at him with knowing eyes,

- “Hey, baby.” Desmond’s voice is too soft. Too knowing. “Rough couple of days?” - Ezio stiffened, his grip on his bag tightening.  - Don’t fold. Don’t fold. - “I’m fine,” he rasped, pushing past him. “Don’t need—” - His stomach growls. Loudly. - Desmond snorts. “Yeah. Sure.”

Ezio’s vision blurs for a split second as he grits his teeth, exhaustion making his body sway, and then Desmond is there, steadying him and guiding him into a chair before he can protest,

- “Sit down,” Desmond murmured, nudging the takeout towards him. “Eat.” - Ezio swallowed. His throat felt tight. His hands clenched uselessly in his lap. - “I hate you,” he croaked out. - Desmond just smiled, brushing his knuckles against Ezio’s cheek. “I know. Eat, baby.” - Ezio picked up his fork with shaking hands and took a bite. - It’s over.

The first swallow nearly undoes him. The second makes his vision blur. The third—

Fuck.

Ezio makes a broken noise before shoving his sleeve against his eyes, before the tears can fully spill over.

But Desmond sees. Of course he does.

And suddenly there are arms wrapping around him, pulling him close, his head tucked against a broad chest, and—

- “Shh, sweetheart,” Desmond murmured, pressing a kiss to his temple. “It’s okay. You’re okay.” - Ezio gripped the front of his hoodie with shaking hands, unable to stop the way his body folds in.  - He doesn’t sob, not quite, but the tears don’t stop, and when a second pair of arms wrap around him from behind, Ezio makes a choked sound - Altaïr’s voice is quiet, firm. “Enough of this, Ezio.” - Ezio swallowed against the lump in his throat. “I just—” - “You are not a burden,” Altaïr cuts him off. “You are not an inconvenience.” - Desmond tightened his hold. “You’re ours.”

It’s not fair how they make it so easy to fall apart.

They hold him, firm and unyielding, as Ezio lets the last few days break him.

When he stops shaking and the tears finally slow, he sags against them, wrung out and exhausted,

- Desmond pressed another kiss to his hair, voice warm with affection. “Better?” - Ezio sniffed, rubbing at his sore eyes. “No.” - Desmond snorted. “Liar.” - Altaïr hummed, a rare note of amusement in his voice. “We’ve let you suffer long enough.” - Ezio scowled weakly. “Didn’t let me do anything.” - Desmond flicked his ear. “Yea, okay, baby.” - Ezio groaned, but it’s softer now, the fight bleeding out of him. Fuck. He hates them. He hates them. - (He doesn’t. He never could.)

He isn’t getting rid of them, no matter how hard he tries,

- “You’re not getting rid of us,” Desmond murmured, his voice dropping into something quiet, something unshakable. “Stop trying.” - Ezio closed his eyes, breath stuttering. - “Okay,” he whispered.

Ezio doesn’t move for a long time.

He eats.

He lets them hold him.

He’s theirs.

X. Sweet Surrender

Ezio should feel victorious.

He thinks he’s entitled to feel some sort of sense of accomplishment. After all, he lasted longer than anyone (not that there are others to compare to).

A year ago, he had snarled at the mere suggestion of letting anyone, least of all two disgustingly rich bastards, take care of him.

Three months ago, he had been dead set on resisting.

Now?

Now Ezio’s sitting in the passenger seat of one of Altaïr’s many cars, wearing a jacket Desmond bought him, with a new phone in his pocket holding a cup of coffee he hadn’t paid for.

Desmond was in the driver’s seat, humming under his breath as he cruised comfortably through town towards their apartment (Because that was a thing now, Ezio having moved in over the summer).

Altaïr was nowhere to be seen, having gone into some high-end restaurant to pick up their food.

Takeout because Ezio had refused to go inside and sit at a table where the cheapest thing on the menu cost more than his entire (old) grocery budget,

- “…I’m getting spoiled,” Ezio muttered. - Desmond snorted. Didn’t even look at him. "You’re just now figuring that out?" - Ezio glared. “I didn’t say it was a good thing.” - "Didn't say you did." Desmond’s lips twitched, his smirk sharp enough to cut. “But you're sitting in Altaïr’s car, drinking my coffee, waiting for our boyfriend to bring you dinner." - Ezio choked. “You two are not my—” - "You’re wearing the jacket I bought you, with the phone Altaïr picked out, and you haven't paid for coffee in weeks." Desmond tossed his phone onto the dashboard, turning to him with an obnoxiously satisfied grin. "Face it, baby. You’re ours." - Ezio scowled. "I hate you." - Desmond reached out, smooth and lazy, like he’d done this a hundred times before, and tugged Ezio in by the collar of his jacket, pressing a kiss to his temple. - "Love you too, baby," he murmured against his skin.

He’s happier. Healthier. More comfortable in his skin than he’s ever been.

Ezio still insists on paying things when he can, still glares when Desmond or Altaïr swipe their cards before he gets the chance.

But nowadays he lets it happen, lets them take care of him.

There’s a moment, one lazy afternoon, where it truly sinks in.

He’s sprawled on the couch, half-asleep, head pillowed on Desmond’s lap while Altaïr sits at the other end, reading.

Desmond’s fingers are in his hair, absently combing through the strands, and Altaïr’s hand rests against his ankle, warm and grounding.

Ezio sighs, sinking further into their touch. He doesn’t fight it. Doesn’t argue.

He doesn’t need to.

Because, for once in his life, he doesn’t have to do it all alone.

Because he is theirs, and they are his, and that is more than enough.

Wow, this was long, haha. I went a little wild in IX. The Ultimate Test... I really like writing and reading angst, okay?

I have a few ideas for a spin-off and possibly a sequel, though nothing as concrete as this outline. Let me know if you'd like to see that too!

[teecupangel]

Hi Teecup, hope everything's going good! Here's yet another Desmond becomes an animal AU, but with a twist! :D

So Desmond gets reborn as a horse. I also imagine it somewhat modern setting, with Ezio being 17 and Altaïr being 16.

Desmond feels the unmistakable sensation at being born and to his suprise he is not a human, but a foal. Born at Auditore Farm. Where Ezio is the new manager after his father retired and Federico was in a bad accident that leaves him unable to ride the horses anymore. And first thing that happens after he takes the position is that the prized mare of Masyaf Ranch breaks into a stallions pen and gets pregnant. After the two ranches struck a deal about the mare that might finally save the struggling Auditore farm from being sold. The mare that was Altaïr Ibn-La'Ahad personal, very dear, horse. So, Ezio is not having a good time and Desmond feels bad and blames himself for it. Because he couldn't even die properly, so why should his re-birth be anything other than a huge fiasco and mistake.

Until Ezio takes a look at the foal the next morning and sees the newborn foal just sitting in the corner, not caring about his mothers attempts to get him stand up. It wasn't the foals fault it was born and their farm had always prided themselves in the care and love their horses recieved. So when the foal refuses to nurse, Ezio takes it upon himself to hand raise it.

When Rashid and Altaïr comes for the mare, Rashid looks in disgust at Desmond, but Altaïr looks.... sad. While everyone moves the mare over to the transport, Ezio goes to feed Desmond and finds Altaïr in the stall. Desmond is playing with Altaïr and the teen is smiling, which Ezio thought him incapable off. When Altaïr realises he's been caught he tries to play it off as curiousity at his prized mares offspring, but Ezio of course doesn't buy it. Especially when the offer to try to bottle feed Desmond is recieved with a very enthuastic nod. Sadly Altaïr has to leave and Ezio is left with having to juggle the responsibility of the stable, of raising Desmond who refuses a foster mother and his duty as the middle brother. Life is stressfull, but Desmond certainly brightens any day.

.

Just a very self indulgent AU with the excuse of having Ezio and Federico in tight jeans and cowboy hats. XD And ofc Desmond causing chaos everywhere he goes, though rarely causing harm. Maybe Leonardo could be a vet that works at both stables for EziLeo or you could even do a rare pair of EziAlt(idk what the ship name is XD) once Altaïr realises that Al Mualim never had the horses in mind, only profit.

Ratonhnhaké:ton can remain largely unchanged if you want him included. Haytham works at Masyaf Ranch and both Auditore and Masyaf border a native american reserve where he met Ziio. Ratonhnhaké:ton prefers to play and eventually help out on Auditore Farm, much to his fathers chagrin. But Haytham does try to be there for him, despite their differences(i've recently gone into a fix it Father-Son fic dive, so i want a Haytham that will at least try for his son).

Full disclmainer: i have only watched/read a few movies and books about ranches and stables, not to mention having no idea how native americans do things, so i apologize if anything is grossly wrong. I don't mean it, i just want a feel good story about a man and his horse overcoming odds and everythin ends well at the end. ^^

Full disclaimer: The only thing I know about ranches and stables are from … well, majority from fanfics where one dude goes to a ranch to work and falls in love with the ranch owner and… the movie Nope and that horse-heavy episode of Leverage. XD

So my immediate idea is that Altaïr ran away from Masyaf Ranch and asks Ezio to employ him for board and food. That’s our setup for AltEzi if you want XD

Or it can turn into Ezio being the older brother and caring parental figure that Altaïr desperately needed.

I don’t know why but I kinda imagine Federico having to use a cane in this one as part of his accident. He still helps out in the ranch but he’s relegated to light work and mostly budgeting and stuff. Altaïr’s employment is a definite godsend.

Federico is also the one who cooks and he cooks a lot when he’s stressed. Even makes his own jam from the garden they have (which Ezio tends to most of the time).

It would be funny if this was set in Desmond’s POV the entire time so the whole EziAlt part is right there but Desmond just assumes they’re becoming such close ‘friends’.

Ratonhnhaké:ton and Haytham works as stable hands and Ratonhnhaké:ton is around Altaïr’s age so they become close.

If you still want this to be EziLeo then the beta couple could be AltCon instead? That’s an even rarer pairing hahahaha

Leonardo is a family friend and the vet to their town (which has a lot of ranches) and he’s close to the family that he sometimes joins meal time whenever he’s there on a job and he has the time. If this was EziLeo, this would be a slowburn friends-to-lovers kind of deal with Federico working overtime to get Ezio to realize that Leonardo has a crush on him. Altaïr gets roped in later on much to his dissatisfaction.

Claudia and Petruccio are both living their own lives with Petruccio away for college. If this was summer time, he comes home to help out and he can be Altaïr’s friend.

Throughout this entire thing, Desmond is just trying to live his horse life while trying to get use to his horse body with his greatest problem being his instincts to move like a human.

He finds love in eating the strawberry field Haytham is in charge of.

His archnemesis is a bird that always tweet so loudly in the morning, waking him up and having the galls to land on his back because it knows Desmond sees him as the bane of his horse existence.

In other words, this is a feel good story about two men finding their own happiness while taking care of the strangest horse… while overcoming odds and everything ends well in the end.

[sulfies]

I wanna eat your art (politely) thank you

Thank you my child, no shipper shall go hungry

[ericd006]

Plushie thoughts

Another request from Bychopy!!!! (On pixiv)

This time it's Altezi and my OC Kayn!!! Thinking about their someone while holding the plushie version of that someone (. ❛ ᴗ ❛.)

(lol Altezi is thinking about Yareth(Bychopy's OC) while Kayn is thinking about Jayzu(My OC) lmao)

______________

Anyways... Full colour pencil! And oh my god... This looked so beautiful. I never ever got this kind of such good colouring before just... Wow... I am proud of myself...

Seriously just look at Altezi!!! The way I colored him is for me, unbelievable!

I never managed to colour such almost accurately I wanted it so good! Like bruh! And add up the fact I'm finally learning colour theory, now that is for me, is amazing...

I'm going to give myself a hug... I'm so happy •ᴗ•

[illtakethatroad]

Declaring Rights

Ezio should have listened to himself when the first warning struck him, his mind telling him not to glance back over towards the man in the corner. Whose amber eyes were half-lidded, cupping his drink in his hands, watching the crowd. As if waiting for someone. Yes, he should have kept his attention on his brother whom was trying to see where he was looking. Lady luck was smiling down on him tonight because his poor sibling had no idea where he was looking - who he was watching - so intently. If he had, well...the younger man wouldn't live it down.

Because he was staring at a man. Who was just lounging there, twisting the glass in his hands every once in a while. Those gorgeous eyes still looking elsewhere and not locking onto his own so he could appreciate and see them fully. The young man tightened his hold on his Miller bottle. Yes, oh yes, how he'd love to peer into those warm depths - press the other man's back against a wall, pin his hands down as he nipped along that expanse of skin exposed when the other turned his head.

It seemed as if his - yes,

his

- golden eyed beauty felt his gaze, the man slowly glancing over to Ezio.

A flash of light from the DJ booth illuminated the man's form. Brown locks a shade lighter than his own, a strong jawline - oh, how he wanted to bite and nibble and nip it - how a scar ran down those lips -

dio

...the man parted them ever so slowly...

He also couldn't help but notice how the man was dressed so casually. A simple black jacket, white shirt and how his denim jeans hugged him just

fucking right

. Not too tight - Ezio wanted to tug them off, just to see if this man was wearing anything underneath - yet not too loose. He felt his hand tighten its hold more, bringing the bottle to his lips to take a swig.

The other had crossed his legs, taking a hand back from the drink as he leaned back.

The second warning was how he shouldn't have offered to buy a drink for the taunting male across the room.

Yet he'd set the beer down, turning to look for a waitress. Soon, he'd called her over - yes, he could appreciate her curves and how her breasts seemed to 'pop' out - he then motioned over to the corner where his beauty was sitting. "Be a doll and get him whatever he desires, bella. Tell him this one's on me."

He'd heard Federico - he momentarily wondered why he was here - ask him what he was doing. Other things amoung this and that but Ezio's gaze had returned to his bottle that he'd been resting on his knee. Once the woman left, he slowly lifted his sights. Just in time to see the waitress speak to the man with yellow spheres, motioning over to him a moment later.

Ezio licked his lips when he caught sight of the man motion down to his drink, parting his lips to respond -

fuck

, he wanted the other man to go down on him, those lips...those c-

A hand seized hold of his shoulder, shaking him.

He turned his attention to Federico, raising a brow as his hand slid up to grip the neck of the bottle.

"What're you

doing

? Offering to buy a drink - and for a

guy

no less." It was whispered and harsh, as if coming to the conclusion that his little brother was drunk.

And how he wished he had been. All the images of what those lips could do to certain parts of his anatomy and he wanted to mark up the other's skin. Bite, suck, hold onto the man hard enough to leave imprints -

"Hmm......" He lolled his head back to its previous position to look back at the man, watching to then see how gold locked onto his own. The younger sibling couldn't stop the carefree smile coming to his lips, revealing his teeth. "Non posso farne a meno. Lo voglio."

Indeed...he wanted to grab a fistful of those chocolate locks, push the man's form into the sheets - the only sounds being moans, groans, grunts and skin hitting skin - and have it get to the point - hard, fast, rough - where his bright eyed beauty would grab the covers, tear and tug at them as his cheeks would flush -

There was a whack against the back of his head, causing him to blink and veer over to his brother with a scowl.

"Vai a farti fottere." was hissed, grabbing onto Ezio's shoulder to shake him a bit. "Don't waste both his and your time just 'eye fucking.'

Go

."

Ezio immediately shook his head, feeling himself blindly set the beer down. "Then who would look out for you, dear brother?" he teased, obviously getting another, 'Vai a farti fottere.'

He turned his gaze back over to the tanned man he'd been watching, blinking and suddenly alarmed to see that the other had slipped past him.

Cazzo...

Well, this was a let down. His shoulders slumped slightly and turned to face the bar, raising his hand to motion the tender over. He rose his head, ordering another drink. A harder one - hopefully as hard as he'd wanted to take the man who had slipped right from under his nose.

...what a letdown.

Ezio blinked when he noticed a small slip of paper handed to him.

He slowly tipped his head back, instantly recognizing the other male standing before him. Whom had a brow raised in an interested manner, the side of his scarred lips tugged back - he wanted to devour this man whole - and lowered his gaze down onto the paper. Ezio looked lost for a moment before his mind caught up with the other silently telling him to take the paper.

And so he did, shifting to slip it into his backpocket, eyes still on the other man's face.

"Altair."

"Scusa...?"

The man before him - Altair - rose his gaze to look at him, the amused expression still there. "My name...is Altair."

With that the exotic male had left, leaving Ezio to stare at him - eyes having eyed that ass then run over the rest of the other's form - before licking his lips once again.

He should have listened to Federico when they left, should have ignored the tug and pull and

lust

, yet he didn't. Couldn't. Wouldn't.

Ezio had picked up his cell phone and dialed the number, nearly letting out a happy groan when it was answered by the man who'd given him the number. Relieved that it indeed did belong to

his

Altair.

Whether the man knew it or not...he was going to be his.

---

Summary: A man in the corner caught his attention, a man with such gorgeous eyes. And whether he knew it or not, Ezio already decided that he was his.

dio: God bella: beautiful (feminine) Non posso farne a meno. Lo voglio.: I can't help it. I want him. Vai a farti fottere.: Go fuck yourself. Cazzo: fuck Scusa: sorry (I use Google Translate for this stuff so...yeah...)

I'm sorry if it sucked or seemed too out there...I was kinda zoning a bit.

[deltatxt]

Story Idea: Assassin’s Creed - Sugar Baby AU (EzioAltDes)

Would anyone be interested in an EzioAltDes, Modern Day, Hurt/Comfort, Sugar Baby Ezio AU?

Starring Broke Law Student Ezio, VIP Security Service Altaïr, and High-end Bartender Desmond!

I started an outline, but I'm not sure if I'll write it as a full fic, so I'll post the outline for you guys to use (it's shaping up to be super long—I even have spin-off ideas already, haha).

[teecupangel]

have you ever thought of writing an Altaïr /Desmond /Ezio ? I would love to read something like this written by you.

Hi nonny,

At the moment, I have no plans to write an Altaïr/Desmond/Ezio. I can't be sure if I can even squeeze in a smutty oneshot next year but I'll let you know if I can? XD

I mean... I guess if I do make a harem ending for Badump Animus Destiny, that could count??? Not that I'm specifically planning on writing a harem ending XD

Uuuhh, here's two ideas that have that pairing though: Immortals AU where Arno gets sexiled a lot thanks to them and Poly ideas (one modern and 1 'canon' timeline) for Altaïr/Desmond/Ezio.

[teecupangel]

From @thedragonqueen1998

Lol, salty Altaïr is fun. XD Would be fun whenever Desmond sees Altaïr he runs up and gives him a hug. Ezio knows that his Charmander loves him, so he isn't worried about it. Likes to tease Altaïr that his Charmander has too much love to not share him with Altaïr and Ratonhnhaké:ton. Could even become AltEzi. XD

Ezio actually believes Desmond is trying to pair the two of them together, acting all sweet and cute whenever they meet Altaïr and giving him hugs, even letting him carry him in his arms the entire time Altaïr and Ezio talk.

Altaïr believes this is a sign that Ezio conned Desmond into picking him and will refuse to even consider the very idea of having unresolved sexual attractions to someone like Ezio Auditore. He’d rather get chased all day by a herd of Tauros thanks.

Clay the Squirtle just thinks this is all amusing.

Ratonhnhaké:ton actually believed that Desmond is like a shared custody type of situation. He’s just glad he’s not in between any of that drama and Layla cannot agree more.

From @zero-saito

Oh that’s so cute!! Kadar is an eevee!! ❤️ lol this means Clay ended up with Altaïr. The sassiest Pokémon in the world, teasing Altaïr. lol would the starters be able to understand each other cause that would be funny too. Taunting each other in battles and sharing stories of what happened on the road. All the tea lol trying to get altair and ezio hooked up 😂

Malik gets to hear all about whatever the hell is going on between Altaïr and Ezio whenever Altaïr calls. His Eevee absolutely tries to take over the camera, going “Eevee❤️ Eeveevee❤️” whenever he sees Altaïr. Kadar absolutely loves Altaïr even though Malik is technically his trainer. He’ll evolve into a Sylveon later.

All Pokemons understand one another and Clay is the first one to realize Desmond is the Charmander who is two-timing Ezio and Altaïr. Yeah, that’s what he calls Desmond to tease him. Desmond even goes and hug Ratonhnhaké:ton every time they meet and Clay’s favorite greeting is a loving ‘sup, you hussy’. Layla is just… chill. She knows who they are but they don’t know who she is and she has no reason to tell them. As far as she’s concerned, she’s not touching whatever drama is going on. She’s living the good life as a the pampered Pokemon of Ratonhnhaké:ton and, really, she got the best deal out of the three of them. XD

From @mysticalbasementwitch

Wait where are Edward and haytham?

Edward is an energetic old man who used to be the Pokemon League Champion. By the laws of anime, he will appear to train the main characters after a bitter defeat. Considering how this seems to be shaping up to be in Altaïr’s POV, this means that Ezio defeats Altaïr at some point I guess, it would be funny if a Charmander defeats a Squirtle. We’ll put it around the time when they’ve evolved into Charmeleon and Wartortle and is a key event that will lead to Clay evolving to a Blastoise. Edward’s main Pokemon partner is a Gyarados named Thatch.

Haytham is the current Pokemon League Champion with a balance team. He’s the goal of most Pokemon trainers (except Altaïr who just wants to fill up his Pokedex). And because we live for the Kenway drama, he is Ratonhnhaké:ton’s father and they have a sorta kinda distant relationship mainly because Haytham only learned about Ratonhnhaké:ton during the tournament XD

Was looking at Pokémon that are red cause of reasons, don’t ask it doesn’t make sense, and then had the thought: Desmond reborn as Charmander. And just imagining him growing up into a Charizard. Like, especially in an au where Desmond comes from a universe without Pokémon into this one, he’s just adjusting to “oh fuck I’m an animal?!” into “oh fuck I can breathe fire?!?!” and juuuuust when he’s getting over the concept and feeling of evolving, he becomes a Charizard and has a moment of “Wait…I have wings…I’M A DRAGON?!?!”

Meanwhile, Ezio/Altaïr/Ratonhnhake:ton (whoever you wanna put him with) just watch on in pure confusion as their partner Pokémon has a breakdown.

Okay, what if it was a First Gen Pokemon AU where Desmond is one of the three starter Pokemons in Monteriggioni, the first ‘town’ in the continent they are in and the headquarters of the Brotherhood.

They’re just called the Brotherhood, not the Assassin Brotherhood, and they’re rivals with the Order.

So three teenagers come to age and gets to pick their starter Pokemon before going on a journey across the continent to battle gym leaders and be legible to join the tournament held annually during the end of the year.

These young teenagers?

In Desmond’s eyes, they look exactly like Altaïr, Ezio and Ratonhnhaké:ton.

Oh.

And apparently he was now a lizard with a flaming tail.

What the fuck.

The last thing he remembers is emptiness that made him sleepy.

When he woke up, he was there, in the middle of a large circular scifi looking table with a blue turtle with a curly tail and some kind of animal with a large closed plant on its back and…

Holy shit.

What the hell is this place?

He could see his reflection from one of the nearby monitors and he was a red lizard with a flaming tail.

He began to flap his tail, accidentally smacking the turtle who let out an indignant “Squirtle!” and smacked him back with his own tail.

Desmond, still not used to his new center of balance, staggered and accidentally slammed against the plant animal on his other side who went “Bulba-saur!” and…

All three stared at the sudden all out brawl happening on the presentation table as Ezio asked, “Uuhhh, Tio…?”

“Such lively Pokemons.” Mario simply laughed it off, “Don’t worry. We’ll heal them once you picked your first Pokemons!”

“Are you telling us to pick now?” Ratonhnhaké:ton asked with a frown.

“Yes. And…” Mario grinned at them, “As your first duty as a Pokemon trainer, you three should stop them from fighting too.”

“You just don’t want to get between that fight yourself.” Altaïr dryly said.

Mario just laughed instead of denying it.

(You decide who gets Desmond. By this point, you guys know me enough to know which one I would pick hahahahaha)

[teecupangel]

I'M WILL GOING BUCK WILD WITH THIS PLOT LMAO

Ah, ah! I was reading stuff on The Old Guard tag and now all I can think of is

Kassandra as Andy cause she is literally older than Jesus fucking Christ

Altaïr & Ezio as Nick & Joe cause WHY NOT

Arno as Booker cause he's a bloody drama queen

F!Eivor as Noriko cause DRAMA

Desmond as Nile cause they're BAMF and all come together on a AltEziDes with Arno suffering on the background and Kass looking like a proud lesbian mama lol

Bayek would be a good Andy too, and Connor and Shay also give me NickJoe vibes lol

Ooohhh, I’m always game to think about immortality-based plotlines XD

Kassandra as Andy would be spot on, especially if F!Eivor is Noriko/Quynh. Although, instead of a Labyrs, her main weapons would be the pointed tip of a spear and a Viking axe. She’d also be more on the calm chill side and happens to like to tease her fellow immortals. (To make it more interesting, maybe F!Eivor and her also met in the Isle of Skye and their relationship blossomed there as well)

Altaïr and Ezio as Nick and Joe would be a pretty fun pairing as well, especially if we keep Altaïr’s whole ‘distant and kinda arrogant’ personality. Ezio would be the one to remind him if he’s being too rude, sometimes with just a touch, because, even if they’ve been immortals for so long, some habits are hard to let go of. Ezio likes to joke that Altaïr is a work in progress which everyone knows is his way of saying Altaïr is trying. Altaïr, on the other hand, may act aloof most of the time but he’s quite protective of Ezio and there is no one in the world he trusts more than Ezio. Their personalities tend to clash at times and everyone knows that they sometimes spend half a century or so apart because of some dumb fight neither of them wanted to acknowledge responsibility with. It’s just become part of their whole deal that everyone just nods along to. Then Desmond comes in.

Arno as Booker would work. Just replace the death of Booker’s sons with Élise’s death (for more pain, maybe imply that Élise may have been or may have not been pregnant during the time of her death).

But you know who else could work as Booker? Haytham Kenway. Instead of being part of Napoleon’s army, keep his whole deal, including his actions to help the British Empire. But this time, he is the one to kill his own son instead. The American Revolution still played as history had recorded it so Haytham has to live his immortal life with the guilt of killing his son for nothing. He’d also be the most aloof of the Immortals and perhaps even be jealous of how ‘easy’ it is for everyone to move on. (Plus points if he treats Desmond the way he treats his son before and he only realizes it when Desmond tells him to stop treating him like an idiot, only digging in the guilt of how his relationship with his son was).

Eivor as Quynh/Noriko also gives us an excuse to… well, torture Eivor. While her imprisonment would be of a similar fate to Quynh/Noriko, we can include her being subjected to a blood eagle in Odin’s name. If you want to hammer in the angst, make Sigurd the one to do it. Of course, if Eivor and Kassandra met on the Isle of Skye, the events of Eivor’s life would have to be shuffled around to make it more coherent. Her imprisonment could be because of Sigurd or because of the Saxons.

And then there was Desmond. One main difference between Desmond and Nile would be their attachment to people. If we keep Desmond’s strained relationship with his parents, he would actually be more open to being immortal. He would hide his desire for a connection with practiced smiles and his chill personality although he wouldn’t fool Kassandra. It would be his desire for a connection but hiding it from everyone that makes it easy for him to fall for both Altaïr and Ezio. Neither of them planned to fall in love with Desmond, maybe they even started out a relationship with him as more of something fun and uncomplicated (like having the immortal version of an ongoing sexual and emotional threesome) which Desmond was cool with (he didn’t expect to fall for them too) while they’re teaching him the ropes and helping him acclimate with his newfound immortality. It would only be later that they would realize that Desmond is like the missing piece in their life.

Other possible ideas:

Ratonhnhaké:ton and Shay giving off Nick and Joe vibes? Color me intrigued. This one also has the additional emotional baggage of Shay being employed by Haytham who Ratonhnhaké:ton killed so, like… they say their relationship is ‘complicated’ and that would be an understatement.

If Arno is Booker, he would have had a relationship with Jacob Frye. Maybe his relationship with Jacob is what helps him move on from the pain of Élise’s death but Jacob isn’t an immortal soooo… (holy wow, Arno has, like, the short end of the stick in this one if he’s an immortal. Haytham doesn’t count, he deserves to feel the guilt)

Bayek would definitely be a good Andy as well. If you go for Bayek instead, Quynh/Noriko would have to be Aya. Although, if you just want Bayek to be included in the plot, he could be Lykon instead? Another possible Lykon is Alexios/Deimos as well and that would definitely be some angst for Kassandra.

Of course, Merrick would be Vidic, hahaha. Maybe Copley could be Layla or even Lucy?

Why are they immortals? Why do we need to explain that? Let’s keep it a mystery but make vague points of how it might be connected with some kind of Isu research to achieve eternal life.

[teecupangel]

Thoughts/plot ideas for a Desmond/Altair/Ezio poly ship?

Well, Desmond’s gonna get a lot of loving that’s for sure but here’s my thoughts/plot ideas for a Desmond/Altaïr/Ezio poly ship.

Let’s start of easy in terms of plot, in a modern AU setting:

Altaïr and Ezio would be rivals (school rivals, CEOs of rival companies) and there’s going to be a lot of UST between the two that everyone within a mile sees.

Their whole setup would be one of them tugs the other pigtail first then the other would tug it even harder until it just ends up an all out hair-pulling fight.

They’re both competitive af and they don’t like to lose.

But it’s all in good fun and they have this begrudging respect for one another that they’ll never admit.

It’s during one of their dick-measuring competition that things get heated and they ended up fucking (who tops? Whoever won the match)

At that point, their relationship would be more like fuck buddies and their foreplay is whatever stupid competition they cant think of.

Enter Desmond Miles.

In this scenario, Desmond’s either the son of a sorta famous asshole that Altaïr and Ezio know/have dealings with or he’s the bartender of their favorite bar. Either way, Desmond is someone that can be described as ‘unattainable’ because he’s a bartender and he knows all the different ways someone could flirt or because his famous father will make Altaïr and Ezio’s life hell.

We’re going sorta 90s romcom cliche and make Desmond a competition for Altaïr and Ezio. If you don’t want them to be assholes, the winner has to get Desmond’s number or one date. If you want them to be assholes, the winner has to fuck Desmond.

In the end, they’re both idiots who fall in love with Desmond anyway. Desmond also falls in love with both of them but he also knows that this is some kind of game to them both so he pretends he doesn’t know anything.

(insert angst-filled chapter here, maybe a 3rd act breakup just to get that out of the way)

In the end, Altaïr and Ezio agrees to share Desmond while they… uuuhh… kinda admit that they also love one another without saying it out right (like less ‘I think I like you too’ and more of ‘I’m okay with sharing Desmond with you but that’s because you’re special to me… maybe… we’ll see’)

Altaïr and Ezio also like to make Desmond their buffer whenever they’re annoyed with each other. Desmond sometimes like it because it means they’re going to pay extra attention to him just to annoy the other, sometimes he hates it because it pretty much boils down to “tell that idiot that I am not-” “Oh my god, he’s right there, just freaking talk to him!”

Ezio is the spontaneous type who enjoys surprising Altaïr and Desmond. He’s also the one whose PDA style has gotten him smacked with ‘sexual harassment’ post its (“They don’t even work here!” “We’re getting second hand sexual harassment!”)

Maria loves Desmond and already told Ezio that she’s going to adopt him if they ever break up. Claudia likes to joke that they’ll disown Ezio if he does break up with Desmond.

Maria jokes she’d marry Altaïr if she ever gets tired with Giovanni and Ezio has no idea why his mother is like this. Altaïr, on the other hand, is a little shit who sends flowers and giftcards regularly once he learned of this just to fuck with Ezio. Desmond knows Altaïr has sent Maria something because he always get something as well and he’s pretty sure Altaïr is trying to make sure he doesn’t feel left out and finds it sweet (although he has no idea where the fuck he’s going to put all these good damn flowers though)

Ezio is the one who makes the big romantic gestures like an all-weekend retreat. Altaïr’s big romantic gesture, on the other hand, can be summarized as ‘dropping everything and doing this dumb thing for the person he loves’ which includes letting Malik deal with a very important meeting so he can run away with Desmond after kidnapping Ezio (In Desmond’s defense, running away is an exaggeration, Altaïr just… bypassed their family estate’s security and got Desmond out without raising any alarm… all because he texted Altaïr and Ezio “I hate this place so much”)

Their relationship is more or less 2 masters and their spoiled pet. Desmond is definitely a sugar baby (who may or may not actually be the heir to old money?)

In a ‘canon’ setting, I guess…

In a situation where Altaïr, Ezio and Desmond are all in the same time period (either Altaïr and Ezio got punted into Desmond’s time period or two of them got punted to the other’s time period), their relationship would depend on their age. For the sake of this idea/headcanons, we’ll say that Ezio and Altaïr are both in their early to mid thirties while Desmond is in his 25ish year-old self.

If they get kicked into Altaïr’s timeline, this would mean that Altaïr would already have Darim and Sef. To not make the situation too complicated, let’s say Altaïr and Maria have a close friends with children kind of relationship.

In this situation, Ezio would be more like a partner to Altaïr in terms of the mentorship of the Brotherhood while Desmond just… chills. Desmond prefers to just play with Darim and Sef (making him Maria’s favorite) but, some times, he would comment or give a suggestion that Altaïr and Ezio wouldn’t think of, surprising and delighting the both of them.

Altaïr and Ezio’s relationship would start out slow, similar to a ‘business partner to romantic partner’ kind of setup while their relationship with Desmond would develop quicker, with the help of Darim and Sef.

They would end up being Darim and Sef’s parents (although they still call Maria mama) and the kids’ favorite will always be Desmond.

If they get kicked in Ezio’s timeline, this would mean they’d be around AC2 timeline and the three of them would form a three man Assassin squad.

In this scenario, Altaïr would be forced to take the mantle of mentor once more and both Ezio and Desmond would support him as he tried to get used to all of these… ‘futuristic’ things.

Altaïr and Ezio would bond over the responsibilities they’ve been saddled with while Altaïr and Desmond would bond over being two fishes that got thrown into a different aquarium.

Desmond’s the one who tries to keep them from overworking themselves (also, his memories on what would happen next would make everything easier for them)

If Altaïr and Ezio gets thrown into Desmond’s timeline, I kinda like the idea that, while their bodies are in their early to mid 30s, they have all their memories up to their death.

In this setup, they’re the reason why Desmond doesn’t die from the Grand Temple and they took down the Abstergo goons sent to the Grand Temple.

They have no information about the world and they don’t know about Desmond’s cell that left earlier. With Desmond unconscious, they’re left with no choice but to leave and camp out somewhere nearby.

Cue in a lot of confused old-timey Assassins and Desmond thinking he’s fucking hallucinating and, after he realizes that yeah they’re real, believes it’s his fault that Altaïr and Ezio are in this time period.

Side note: if you want to add some omegaverse shenanigans, make Desmond suddenly go into a heat after the Temple and he gets bonded to Altaïr and Ezio.

Anyway, in this setup, Altaïr and Ezio would be protective of Desmond because, the way he explained how the Assassins been operating in this time period… well… they’re not happy and that’s saying it mildly.

Altaïr and Ezio would get close because of their fondness for Desmond and they bond over the fact that they’ve already lived out their lives to the best of their abilities.

They think this is a second life given to them and they decide to make the best of it.

Whatever situation they find themselves in, Ezio and Desmond’s relationship will flourish because Ezio feels a connection between them and Desmond knows Ezio so much that he is already love him that falling in love with him would be easy.

Whichever plot you choose, Ezio will definitely do some body worshipping to both Altaïr and Desmond. Desmond because he deserves it and Altaïr because Ezio is a bit of an Altaïr fanboy before Revelations made him jaded.

They’re all over protective of one another and they wouldn’t hesitate to beat someone up if it means protecting the others.

Desmond is the one ones who has an easier time of just going ‘no thoughts, just kill’ while Altaïr and Ezio flipflops between agreeing with him while the other has to be the one to remind them that there are other options they can consider first.

They’re all switches but Desmond is the most bottom of the three of them. He’s also a bit of a pillow princess.

On the other hand, Desmond is the one with the kinkiest ideas and many of them are just said as a joke but Ezio went ‘interesting’. Altaïr keeps a list.

[teecupangel]

Probably a weird idea, but it popped into mind while trying to sleep. A modern Altair/Ezio prompt where Altair is a veterinarian, ezio is a cop, and Desmond is Ezio's canine partner who, after being wounded and treated by Altair, sets out to hook Altair and ezio up because he is tired of Ezio's recent string of bad relationships. Yes, Desmond is sentient, and no, no one else knows about it. Malik and kadar are vet techs at Altair's clinic. And Connor is in there somewhere. A dogwalker, maybe?

I don’t think it’s a weird idea but, then again, I have a very high tolerance to things that many would call weird so (shrug).

Anyway, may I suggest the following:

For drama, Abbas is definitely Altaïr’s ex and their breakup was so bad that Altaïr transferred to a different course altogether, becoming a vet while Abbas is maybe a doctor in internal medicine or maybe a surgeon. They had a cat together called Adha that Altaïr smuggled out when they broke up. She a real prima donna.

Desmond is supposed to be a sniffer dog and he’s really good at it because, surprise, he’s a cheater who uses Eagle Vision instead of actually sniffing stuff.

Desmond becomes Ezio’s partner after an incident with another dog named Cross. He likes this better anyway since Ezio shares all of his food with him which is nice. Also, Ezio takes him to his home where Desmond notices he’s living alone and his only friend outside the precinct is his best friend who is a well-known artist currently touring various museums so their days off the force are couch days with Chinese takeout because there is no way Ezio was ever going to order pizzas.

Desmond also has to watch Ezio have bad breakups like his longtime girlfriend who he broke up with because her father didn’t approve of Ezio, and some woman who turned out to actually be married but Ezio didn’t know that and the woman insisted that she hated her husband which really didn’t help, a guy who was super-super close with his sister who had the hots for Ezio too and… uuuhh… Desmond would like to end it there for the sake of his sanity.

It would be fun if Ratonhnhaké:ton is Ezio’s partner in the force and he’s the one who gives the best belly rubs according to Desmond. He also acts like Ezio’s younger brother and Desmond is also trying to get them to be actual friends too.

Maria is one of Altaïr’s regular who has a Sphynx cat named Robert that likes to bite and scratch Altaïr.

Altaïr’s grandfather, Rashid, doesn’t approve of his job as he wanted him to be a ‘real doctor’. While it’s true that Altaïr had transferred to veterinary medicine because of Abbas, he actually wanted to be a vet ever since he was young. He just never told Rashid because he knew his grandfather wouldn’t approve.

Kadar is absolutely on board with hooking up Altaïr to the hot dog owner. Malik just wants to work in peace.

Desmond is sure Adha the cat isn’t as aware as him but holy shit does she always have to look at everything he does with such a judgmental expression on her furry face???

[illtakethatroad]

PatP by ~pinappleapple

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Hackers

Happy Halloween! this will be the only time I will post my drawings on tumblr. Yes, yes. I know Altair's eye is messed up...

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