#altered middle pic btw

[jaes1lvr]

⎯⎯ ୨ she said dont get too attached but she attached to me ୧ ⎯⎯

[aangelkeii]

❝𝐉𝐈𝐍 𝐁𝐔𝐁𝐀𝐈𝐆𝐀𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐀❞ | Pose - Yo Gotti, Megan Thee Stallion & Lil Uzi ❦ ❀

Kinktober Day 6: Phone Sex (k.tober 2024)

A/N: sorry 4 the late upload, fell into a coma last night before i queued it properly. my not-guilty pleasure is jin, i love him so much, doin tricks on the d as we speak. enjoy!

`✦ˑ ִֶ 𓂃⊹

wc: 2.2k (not as long, soz) | warnings: fem!reader, phone sex duh, uhm sex toys yk like a vibe (asked a gf for a name a bit ago, wonder if she remembers. that was for this btw!), fluffy, you both are freaks mb, uhh jin's jorkin it outside privately, he also is vocal. yipee! spinner mention cuz i do love him

‘when will you be home?’

You knew how long this mission was going to be, but you still asked him every single day if plans had changed and if he would be home soon. Jin’s missions usually take a couple of days tops, and he’ll visit the second he’s free, but things have been different because of all the changes going on. Missions are longer, harder, and require more focus than before. You’re not used to being away from him for so long. It’s starting to really affect you.

You miss that handsome face. You miss his weird antics. You miss his fat cock.

Woah! Where did that come from? That was tooooootally out of the blue.

No, it wasn’t. You have never been so horny in your life. God, it’s like you’re a teenage boy or something, mouth watering over the slightest hint of shoulder. It’s been two weeks and you’re ready to find him yourself just to climb him like a damn tree. Just the thought of him is enough to make your thighs clench and pull out your mystery mouseketool and get to work. It’s honestly insane how much this man floods your thoughts on a daily basis. 

You know he’s busy with whatever, you know that he can’t possibly reply to every single one of your messages, but you need him to reply faster and maybe even send you a cheeky photo or two to fuel your fantasies. Hell, you’ll even send a photo just so he can send one in return. 

You’re a genius. Do you really want to distract him, though? What if he’s in the middle of beating up a hero or something and he pauses to take out his phone? He’s the kind of guy to halt the fight just to send a dick pic.

 I mean, he’d die happy knowing you’re getting your rocks off to it. 

Fuck it!

You aren’t wearing any pants right now, lying in bed wearing just your underwear and a ratty t-shirt that you stole from him forever ago. No bra, one leg stretched out and one bent at the knee, spread eagle. You don’t even have to pose all sexy for him, so you raise your phone above your head and turn the camera towards you, angling it down so your whole body is in frame. No need for retakes, you look fine as fuck, so you send the photo with a following text. 

‘miss you’

The phone fell from your hand and onto the bed, and you chose to stare at the ceiling until he got back to you. After 5 minutes, you grew impatient, and picked up your phone to see that he left you on read. Huh?

Not for long, baby! Jin’s contact immediately flashes across your screen and you answer, putting it on speaker ready to lay into him.

“Are you insane?!” His voice sounds hushed and antsy. You’ve been with him long enough to know that he isn’t actually mad at you, and that the photo worked. “I almost showed everyone that photo. They looked at me like I had three heads!”

“Technically, you do. Yourself, your alter, and the one in your pants.”

He stutters and audibly gulps, bringing his phone closer to his ear, cupping the bottom to whisper. “Are you actually horny right now?”

You hum into the mic and slink your hands down your stomach, fingertips teasing the edge of your underwear. “My sexy boyfriend seems to have left me all alone, and Alfred isn’t satisfying me anymore.”

“You kept that name for your vibrator? That’s so fucking hot,” his hand goes to the zipper of his jeans, pulling it down and tugging at the button. He got you the vibrator for your birthday and chose the name for it, not caring about the fact that he named it after a dude. “What’re you thinking about? What’s got you so needy?”

Your hand pushes underneath your waistband, middle finger collecting the wetness and circling your clit with two fingers. Just listening to his voice could push you over the edge. Your legs fall open just a bit more. “Thinkin’ about you, obviously. Wish you were here to fuck me senseless.”

Jin groans through the phone, and it’s apparent that he’s pumping his hand up and down his cock from your words. “Fuck, tell me about it. I wish you could suffocate me between your legs right now, I’d die a happy man.”

You let out an airy chuckle and bite down on your bottom lip, an attempt to keep yourself quiet enough to hear him over the phone. “What else would you do to me?”

“I’d tear that stupid shirt off of you so I could see your tits,” his response is almost immediate. He’s already so worked up from the photo that you sent him and now he’s this close to spilling all over his hand.  “I think I’m gonna lose my mind, babe.”

His hand keeps up with its fast pace around his cock, the wet slapping audible through the phone speaker. Jin is known for getting ahead of himself with many, many things, his pleasure being one of them. He likes to make sure that you’re feeling just as good as he is, but when all rational thought had disappeared as fast as his blood rushed down to his dick, it was incredibly hard for him to ignore the dull ringing in the back of his head, the steady creep of warmth blooding down his neck and chest.

“Stop.”

Jin freezes, palm enclosed around his tip, panting and whimpering. His groans echoed throughout your room and warned you that he was gonna come if he didn’t slow it down. You’re the one who started this, you’re going to be the one to end it.

“Fuck, fuck, m’sorry,” he gasped at his phone, hands trembling with the denial of his orgasm. His head meets the brick wall behind him, and it’s become increasingly obvious that he’s panting like a dumb dog in some dingy alleyway. No one could hear or see him, but the exit door to his right could open at any second.

Does he give a fuck? No! 

There’s shuffling on the other line until his photo pops up, pleading for you to answer the video call. “Need to see ya, sweetness. Please?”

You answer the call, met with the pink cheeks of your boyfriend’s face on the other line. His grey-blue eyes are blown wide as he looks at you through the screen, your face just as pink but less visible with your bedroom lighting. 

“There she is,” timbre voice cocky when he finally gets a good look at you. You look so beautiful laid out on the bed, shirt bunched up beneath your chest, hand still between your legs. Your fingers continue their torturous circling around your clit, only slowing down to answer the video call. “My sexy girl. Y’look so fucked out already, and we’ve barely started!”

The sudden switch from pleading to teasing is amusing, making a small laugh fall from your lips. Head all woozy from his compliments. “Makin’ y’self feel good?”

You nod, looking down at your hand between your legs, hidden under the fabric of your underwear. Your legs part further, allowing your fingers to move down a bit more, parting through the slick accumulated there from just his voice alone. He watches your eyes shift from him downwards, his hand around his tip loosely pulling down, just ghosting over the length of him until he reaches the base. His fingers tighten there around the loose skin, slightly tugging upwards by an inch.

“Tell me what you’re thinkin’ about, pretty girl,” Jin moves his phone further from his face, letting you catch a glimpse of his chest, a white tee hung loosely around him that moves with the pull of his arm. 

“Thinking ‘bout you here with me,” your middle finger pushes upwards, breaking past the first bit of muscle to your hole, drawing out again to lube up a little more. “Wondering how you’d help me out. I’d help you out, too.”

His hand moves up his girth, swiping beneath the head with a throaty groan. “I was imagining you earlier. Thought about making you pancakes or waffles for breakfast, takin’ you out for dinner or something, having you for dessert after.”

Your laugh is like angels singing. Jin’s a weirdo, getting off on the domesticity of your lives, but the thought of him spending his life with you warms your heart throughout your body. With you, life was easier, he didn’t feel like his head was about to explode, and the nagging voice in the back of his head was quiet for once. He had no fears with you. He had nothing to be scared of.

“You sap,” the lovesick look on your face makes him smile. “You wouldn’t have me for breakfast instead?”

“You’re scary in the mornings.”

You laugh a bit louder, warmth blossoming through your veins, the sound making Jin’s cock twitch in his hand and he remembers why exactly he’s in this situation.

“Besides, we can do more at night than in the mornings. I wanna take my time with you, baby, make you feel good. Just wish I was there to promise that,” your eyes lock with his, and he’s looking at you with pure infatuation and love. 

You finally look around him, noticing the tufts of blonde hair sticking out from the side of his head. You hadn’t even noticed that he previously had his mask on, only tugging it off his head enough to see you clearly. The small stitches on his forehead peek out from underneath. The dark brick wall behind him frames his face and shoulders perfectly.

“Like a pinky promise?” Your ring finger joined your middle inside of you, curling upwards to prod that spongy spot. Your breath hitches, “you’re cute.” 

“I know you are but what am I?” Smearing his precum over his length, his tugs grow faster and rougher, eyes darting down and back up to the screen. “Gettin’ yourself off, baby?”

The huff you give him is the only answer he needs, giving you an airy chuckle in return. “I’m gettin’ close, sweetness. Wanna come with you.”

“Yeah?” He nods. 

“Use Alfred,” the name of your vibrator distracts you from your goal for a second, pulling your fingers out to carelessly grab for it, but the sound of his moan through the phone when the faint buzzing sounds through the phone kickstarts your mind once again. 

You press the soft silicone to your clit, thighs closing around it tightly from the powerful vibrations. The wave of pleasure over your body is strong, making your head all fuzzy again, the pressure increasing when you press against the right spot to make your toes curl and your back arch from the bed. You sputter out a warning, a jumbled ‘coming!’ falling from your lips that sends him over the edge with you. Your bodies shatter in pleasure, your thighs shaking around your hand that doesn’t let up the vibrator, just like he would do. 

His legs threaten to give out under him, the last swipe to his slit has cum spurting out and onto the concrete, dribbling down his hand and staining the band of his boxers. His rough voice moans, echoing through the alley like an orchestra, your pitchy breaths adding to the acoustics. He wills himself to keep his eyes open, watching your face contort, eyes closed tightly and brows shot upwards. After the last wave turns into a bit much, your hand drops your phone and clicks off the vibrator, body lying limp on the bed.

The aftershocks pulse through your legs, sore from tensing up, but so relieved to finally have some release. You ask him how he’s feeling, earning you a shuddering breath as his hand slows to a stop, head hung forward and eyes shut to prolong his pleasure. His mouth opens, “you look so fucking sexy when you co-”.

His phone just about falls from his hand, startled by the sudden banging of the exit door. Spinner’s voice calls out to him, telling him to ‘stop thinking with his dick and pack up.’ The heteroclite man is heard stomping away, followed by incoherent yells, and Jin looks slowly back at the phone camera to your blushing face. Your laugh rings out through the speaker and his chest warms, a dumb smile on his face as he tucks himself back into his boxers and jeans. He looks around for something to wipe his hand off on, finding tattered blankets on top of some boxes. He figures no one wants them anymore, right?

Whatever. He’ll shower before they leave.

“‘M sorry, baby, I gotta cut this short,” he zips up his jeans, situating himself in his pants. “We got a lead on something, gonna check it out. I’ll keep you updated, yeah?”

“Stay safe, baby,” he blows you a kiss through the screen, nodding his head with a ‘will do’. “Tell the others that I say hi. And don’t do anything stupid!”

He laughs, pulling open the door to the inside. “That’s all we do, baby! Where’s the fun if it’s not stupid?”

He presses his lips to the camera with a dramatic mwah! and tugs his mask back down over his face, waving his fingers at you before you hang up with a kiss yourself.

© aangelkeii - do not repost, translate, plagarize, or claim any of my works as your own.

taglist: @ggriwm @ppsucker3000 @cstandsforchaos @jakeyjakies @cphlo @dumbwaystolive

[hasarjunadoneanythingwrong]

can we get some pics from the douman one pretty please

I’ve always thought the cover art for this unironically rules. It was so cool and worked so well to draw him like the alter ego class card I’d 100% just buy it for the cover

I think most of us have seen the middle pic of him putting the string in his mouth before but I’m not sure everyone knows that it actually seems to be part of a triad of each ascension chewing on ascension mats

I’m going to include TWO of the collab art pieces bc I don’t think anyone else has shown them and they’re. Incredible. I’ll put their twitter handle under but if anyone has a direct link to the art lmk and I’ll link it

This is by cotecote_sun on twitter and when I saw it I had to step away for a second. Good lord.

This is by zi38 on twitter and was an absolute pain to photograph w an iPod camera but trust me when I say it’s so good, it just….it’s incredible idk what else to say I’m a sucker for well executed pieces with a minimal color palate and strong imagery

I bought this off toranora, btw, if you live overseas like me you can purchase artbooks via anime otaku carrying site (aocs) and said site will walk you through it, it’s pretty simple

[rainyday-system]

! Intro !

(technically just info abt us)

Who will be running this account?

Oxi (Host)

Foxy (Co-host)

Kaiza (Gatekeeper)

Zilliah (Trauma holder)

Cinnamonroll (fictive + impulse holder)

Oliver (Protector)

Jameison (Caregiver)

Cotton (Middle + anger holder)

What is this blog about or for?

As it says we are a blog for building an altar or helping one for! We support endos, willos, etc! Including proships, rcta, and other controversial stuff! Anyone can interact we don't mind! (Btw we just found out we are a mixed system origin so no hate!!)

How do we send in an ask?

Here is a template or what you should include when sending in an ask! (And if there is a problem with anything just send me a message or comment on this post!) We will rename alters or find names that fit them better, we can find pronouns, faceclaims, aesthetics, etc! Anything we don't mind!

(template below)

Current name : ---

Current pronouns : ---

Vibe/aesthetic: ---

Personality : ---

What do they look like in headspace :

Extra stuff : --- (not necessary)

OR!

You can send in a pic for us to base everything off of / send in a ask with there aesthetic!

[roads-to-madness]

concert ramblings under the cut!

The first band, Pistols At Dawn, were freakin awesome! Very fun to watch! Unfortunately we were a little late for their set and had to find our seats, but we got to hear a good two and a half songs. I'm absolutely obsessed with this one:

Mammoth WVH left a very positive impression too! And let me tell you, I learned a very valuable lesson in checking out the supporting acts before the show

(anyway hi Frank it was nice to see you again 👋 last time was probably in 2016 or so with SMKC 😂)

NOW ALTER BRIDGE AAAAAAAAAAA

I just about lost my mind when I saw Myles. It'd been way too long since the last time. I stood up since our section was pretty empty and there was no one behind me to block. The people next to me did not stand up 😂 whatever I was there for a good time

First few songs in the set:

Silver Tongue

Addicted to Pain

Ghost of Days Gone By

Holiday

Broken Wings

NOW GET THIS Broken Wings is one of my absolute favorite songs of theirs. In the middle of it, the lady next to me offered tickets she had to CLOSER SEATS. And when I say closer I mean WOW. The difference was insane. I always say I have the best luck when it comes to concerts and this really proves it. Either that or I was just really annoying them who knows lol

the view in our original seats:

the view in our new seats:

(look y'all I found a blurry Flip 😂) sorry about the blur on all the pics btw, my phone is actually trash with a battery!

the next song was Burn It Down (with Mark's lovely vocals taking lead!! 🥰 He's amazing)

They ended the first part of the set with Cry of Achilles!! Always great!

Then Myles did one acoustic song on his own: Watch Over You, dedicated to someone in the audience wearing an NSYNC shirt. Y'know to make sure they were ok in that crowd lmao. Very brave choice of clothing

Mark joined to play an acoustic version of In Loving Memory. These two dudes actually made me cry

thanks guys 😤

They transitioned the band back in with Blackbird. Genius. Didn't think they could recover from making me cry that fast but they did. Amazing!

the rest of the set:

Come to Life (so much fun! aaaaa fave!!)

Pawns & Kings

Stay (more of Mark's amazing vocals!!)

hold your hands up high and throw 'em in the air / show 'em that you care too much to feel this way again

Isolation

Metalingus

Flip and Brian were introduced during Metalingus! I yelled for them so much my throat hurts!

Encore: Rise Today

Even with the awesome seats I wasn't close enough to catch anything flying into the audience but it's always entertaining to watch! I'm worried Flip is gonna hurt someone with a drumstick eventually 😂

Myles threw one of the setlists out as a paper airplane 🥰 adorableee

It was seriously one of the best nights I've had in a long time. It's up there with my favorite concert I've ever attended (Mike Campbell and the Dirty Knobs). Maybe we'll call it a tie now..?

Anyway AB, when can we do this again??

[justjessame]

Put Me In Coach 9

Mom powered through with the graduation dinner decisions, tossing out questions that I was terrified to even contemplate the meaning behind.

“Mr. Negan? Is he planning on wearing a suit to dinner?” I rolled my eyes so hard at the repeated use of ‘Mr. Negan’ that I may have gone temporarily blind. “Mara! Please answer me.” Shit.

“Negan, Mom, that’s his name. Negan. Like Cher. Or God.” I nearly fell over trying to stop myself from laughing. She was glaring at me. Fuck. “I’m not sure what he’s planning on wearing, honestly.” If I had my way, we’d skip dinner and get to naked fun times at his place, but no, we’d be forced to sit through multiple fucking courses with our parents and suck it up. Instead of sucking him- Shit. “Do you want me to check?” It was midday, he was in class, and I was being lazy waiting for shit to finish up. We had two more days until kickoff. Or whatever sports term worked for finally being open and out with our relationship.

“Please.” She sounded as done with me as I felt about her right now. “Let me know, and if he could tell you the color and pattern.” I nearly broke a rib holding back the hilarity of asking Negan what color and pattern he’d chosen to wear for dinner. Jesus.

“Sure, Mom.” I rushed back up the stairs to my bedroom. Oh the text shit I was going to get for this.

Boop.

I waited, knowing that he was a bad Coach who kept his cell in his pocket ‘just in case’. Usually those ‘just in case’ situations came out with him asking for strength to get through the day. And ‘strength’ was code for pics of me. Usually clothed. Usually.

Boop right back at you, sweetheart.

Is it normal to HEAR the voice of the person texting, because I swear to God I could hear his. I smiled like a goofy teenager and typed Mom’s most important inquiry.

Mom is losing her shit. Are you, Mr. Negan, planning on wearing a suit to dinner? BTW BONUS points if it’s your birthday suit. I am SO down with you naked like a buffet for me.

I laid back on my pillows, letting my mind wander to naked Negan. I was just about to go to my very happy place when my phone dinged.

JESUS, Princess, could you NOT while I’m in the middle of fucking softball.

Oops. I waited, knowing he’d get himself under control eventually. It took a few beats more than the first answer. I was trying to hold back giggles at the image of him dropping the phone in the field.

I just had a rush of horror at Eric FINALLY seeing my damn birthday suit, fuck. Yes, I’m wearing a suit. Don’t I have to at THE CLUB.

Eric seeing Negan naked did it. My laughter hit hard and long. Shit. Oh my fucking God. I was brushing away tears so I could ask the follow up.

Eric wishes for that daily, my darling. Mom also wanted to know if you have a color scheme picked out.

I waited, deciding to fuck with Eric while I let Negan decide if he was one of the Queer Eyes or the Straight Guy in his fashion sense.

Tried to get Coach to go Full Monty for graduation dinner. No go. He’s afraid you’d smack me away from my present. Bitch, you ruin everything.

I was considering my own outfit choices for under that cap and gown ensemble that we were doomed to wear when the first response came in.

RUIN? Look here, you thirsty whore, you’re only scared that I’d take that cock in hand and he’d never give you another glance. Although, it begs the question. Do you have nudie pics of Coach? Share, bitch, you owe me.

I didn’t have a chance to answer because Negan popped up with his own answer.

My carpet matches the drapes, sweetheart, you know that.

For fuck’s sake, these two were going to kill me with laughter. Sighing, I sent Negan’s text first. After all, seeing him naked was a joy that I wanted to be given without the inability to sit down.

Suit colors, babe. Mom probably wants to match the fucking centerpiece to your tie. Love you, and I wasn’t kidding about naked buffet you. I get a present, right?

Then because Eric was being so agreeable, I flicked through the multitude of photos I had of Negan, because if I shared, then he had to, too. I found one that was just of his very happy trail, on his very lickable stomach and pressed forward on it to Eric. Suck on that, bitch.

Seconds, literally mere seconds and again my phone was dinging like a mad cow on crack.

Jesus, Mary, Joseph and all the fucking saints. You get to fucking touch THAT? You are a horrible, no good, fucking--

I was grinning at the knowledge that I tortured Eric for daring to ask for more knowledge of just how fucking lucky I was to have Negan’s naked body to play with on the regular. Opening up Coach’s message, I smiled.

Pretty damn sure it’s blue. And the tie? Some kind of fucking striped pattern? I don’t fucking know. Tell her I look like a pit boss in Atlantic City when I wear it. Should fucking help, right? As for that naked buffet, only if I get a matching one from you, princess.

Damn it. I was nearly panting by the end. Would we ever get over the rush of sex together? Would it stop being like it was now, breathtaking and mind altering? Because I fucking hoped not. Mary texted while I was standing in front of my closet trying to decide what I hated least.

Torturing your friends is NOT an ok past time. BTW Dear Fucking GOD.

I snorted and rolled my eyes. Of course he shared. I would expect nothing less. They were my circle. What one got, the other got. Which made me groan. FUCK. I forgot to go shopping for presents for the two of them, and add one into the mix for Steven. Shit.

I’m heading out to shop. I’ll have my cell on me, but wanted to tell you, unless you want me to swing by school and remind you of all the ways I love you.

I was down the stairs, yelling to let Mom know I was heading out when his reply hit.

I’m ALWAYS up for a visit from you, Princess. School’s almost out though, how about I join you at the mall?

I snorted. Negan at the mall. Then reconsidered. We were going public. That was the plan all along after we’d gotten back together, once his divorce was finalized. Why not?

Sure. Text me when you get there and I’ll tell you where I’m at.

I went to the first clothing store I came to that didn’t sell my mother’s favorite designers, and went through racks to look for an outfit for graduation. Nothing in my closet worked, and I really wanted to wear something nice for our first really official thing. As a couple. If Negan could wear a suit, then I wanted to look good for him too.

I found it in the second store. Like my Spring Formal dress, it looked more like lingerie, but unlike that dress, this one would scandalize the country club, my mother, and possibly force Negan to cut dinner short. Matching shoes, with the memory of how much he liked the ones I’d worn that night, were simple. Three straps and heels that weren’t going to kill me, but would possibly give Negan all the right ideas. I swiped my card and heard the ding of my phone at the same time.

Where can I find you, princess?

I smiled, taking the well wrapped dress and shoes stowed in a lovely shopping bag from the cashier and typed in my response as I walked. I picked the food court, not too far from where I’d found the dress and more likely near where he had parked.

I see you.

I looked up and there he was. In jeans and a t-shirt looking like he’d taken the time to shower after class. I licked my lips, because of all the edibles in the food court, I knew hands down which one I’d choose.

“Hey you,” he pulled me into his arms and I grinned. “You smell so fucking good, sweetheart.” His nose was buried in my hair and I snuggled into his chest.

“This is new.” I smiled up at him as he pulled away to take my hand, linking our fingers. “Two days too long of a wait, Coach?”

“An hour at this point is too fucking long, Amara.” He was walking in the direction opposite where I’d come from. “Shit,” he stopped looking down at me. “Where are we going?”

I laughed, he was so intent on being with me that he wasn’t even paying attention to why we were here. “I need to pick up some presents for Mary, Eric, and I guess, Steven.” His fingers linked with mine felt so natural that I didn’t pay attention to whether anyone was watching. Who cared?

“What do you have in mind?” He was smiling and I knew that he was just as happy to have time out in public as I was.

 We had fun shopping. Actual fun. It was mind blowing that we’d never really taken a chance to do it before, since we meshed so well with it. I had a feeling that he had MORE fun picking out Eric’s tiara than me. Finding bigger and gaudier ones by the moment.

“My mom is going to go apocalyptic if he puts that on during dinner.” I nodded. Yep, that was the one. It was regal, of that there could be no doubt. “I love you, do I say that often enough?” He pulled me into his arms while I was paying, wrapping himself around me from behind and propping his head on top of mine.

“I could stand to hear it more often.” He moved his head to kiss the side of my neck as the salesman smiled at us. “I love you, too, Amara.” He breathed a wonderfully wicked and hot idea into my ear and I felt my eyes flutter shut as the credit card machine rang out the finalization of my sale.

He took the bag and pulled me from the store. We walked with purpose, retracing our steps to the food court and through the mall’s main entrance. His car was on an outer boundary, and if I was in a teasing mood I’d have compared his parking spot to a serial killer’s lookout. My mind wasn’t on teasing. Not at the moment.

He had the doors opened, my bags in the front seat and me in the back before either of us could even say another word. And then his mouth was on mine and I was yanking his t-shirt off and my panties were gone. Dear fucking god, I thought as I flicked open his jeans and his mouth met my neck. “I swear to fucking Christ,” he was muttering and then he was inside of me and we stopped using words altogether.

It was fast and furious. Need and want and teeth and nails. His windows were so fogged up that no one could have seen inside even if we weren’t parked in the most hidden spot that the mall had to offer. I swore, as we were pressed together panting afterwards, that there was no way that it would ever stop being like this. Shouldn’t we have passed the honeymoon phase by now?

Negan’s face was pressed into the crook of my shoulder and my face was pressed against his bare chest. “I fucking love you, Amara.” I felt his lips kissing my skin, tasting the salt of the sweat we’d worked up. “Every fucking inch of you. Every single moment we have together. Fucking worth anything I have to give.

I kissed his chest with a smile on my lips. “You’re a marvel.” His chuckle vibrated against my lips as I kissed my way up to his neck. “You are a goddamn marvel, Negan, and I adore you from top to bottom.” He was still laughing. “OK, not your feet, and maybe not your butthole.” I shrugged, nipping at his jaw. “If you’re into the butt stuff, Eric’s at expert level there.”

“I think I’m OK with my ass not getting that kind of ‘love’.” He was smiling as our lips met and I swore his grin only grew.

[gilgaemsh-a]

IM FINALLY ABLE TO MAKE MY BNHA OCS AHHHH!!!!! part one at least lmao i’m gunna make a part 2 reallllllllly soon

the style of this picrew is similar to bnha style so it’s better for me to think up my ocs (at least the girls) this way!! (i’m very picky orz)

also i’m always up for rping if anyone is interested!!!!! dm me dude!!!!!!!!!!!!

also also! quirks aren’t like final versions?? im still tryna figure out how to make quirks more... quirk-like lol.

intros under the cut!!

@bnhappreciation​ @bnha-oc-collection​

ankou fuwara (#1 & #2)

the ever blooming hero: chloris

ankou is my most loved oc and the by far the hardest to make for some reason. her and her quirk went through so many changes its insane but i finally settled on something perfect.

she’s currently an active hero having just graduated from u.a. she’s extremely popular and currently number 12 on the hero billboard (shes 19 btw)

ankou quirk is overgrowth aka chlorokinesis - the manipulation of plant life and pheromone generation. (she can do a lot with her quirk so shes my second most op character)

her range is pretty much the same as pixie bob’s earth flow.

ankou was actually a child star, a very popular actress/model. she quit when she graduated to focus on her hero career which is one of the reasons why she’s so popular.

when ankou was in school to was the top u.a. student along with two others (they’re boys so i wasnt able to make them but one day i will)

ankou quirk is actually a combo of her parents her mother has minimal manipulation over plants and her father could manipulate his pheromones

ankou is the older sister type. she’s super kind and caring and protective of people close to her.

she unofficially adopts izuku when she meets him

she also (surprisingly) has a good relationship with bakugou. she treats him like a younger brother and teases him a lot.

ankou is also the type to be really scary when angry

ankou had a really hard time making friends growing up because she couldn’t control her pheromones properly

alot of the times her classmates or even random people would fall in love with her just by her scent or other times end up being despised by it

both of ankou’s parents actually come from hero families. they grew up together since their families knew each other & they were both the youngest. neither of them wanted to be heroes.

ankou’s mother (ririka) is a pharmacist for one of the top hospitals in japan while her father (aizen) is an a-list actor.

side note! ankou’s father aizen took ririka’s last name.

i hardcore ship ankou and tomura. it literally started by me just thinking “oh hey lmao ankou has a life quirk and tomura has a death quirk! wait-”

so now their my otp.

oh btw the first pic is how ankou looks currently, the other is her older.

kurena kan (#3)

the healing heroine: nightingale

my child. my baby. she’s never done a single thing wrong in her entire life.

kurena is a mixed baby, half japanese & half american

she grew up with her father sekijiro kan in japan, her mother, charity brown is currently deceased.

her quirk is miracle blood - the ability to heal others and herself using her own blood. she can manipulate her blood as well. kurena has high regenerative properties as well! as long as her blood is flowing she can heal herself extremely fast.

as you know vlad king (her father) is able to manipulate blood but kurena’s mother was able to heal people with her quirk (empathic healing) which resulted in kurena’s quirk.

kurena is currently a first year at u.a. in izuku’s class.

she’s the tomboy type, tends to get into a lot of fights though she’s actually really mellow and cool.

she’s also the type that if she were to dress as a boy, she’d make a really hot one. (though as a girl she’s super hot too)

she’s recovery girl’s apprentice and helps out alot in the infirmary of the school

deku spends a lot less time there since kurena can heal him lol

i ship kurena with todoroki and bakugou. my beloved ot3

all three of them are p competitive with each other (don’t worry it’s all healthy competition)

kurena’s mother came to japan to further to abilities and apprentice under recovery girl which is how her and sekijiro met

she died helping recovery girl heal all might as a backlash of her quirk

kurena’s mother is full blown italian! and partially named kurena because it sounds like carina which means beloved

in japanese kurena the kanji for her name is crimson

oh!! aizawa is kurena’s godfather on her mother’s side! the two are very close

charity and aizawa were best friends before she died

miwa midoriya* (#4)

all in one heroine: alter ego

oof my most op oc you can fight me im not changing her.

miwa is actually the daughter of two high profile villains

she’s actually an “experiment”, the two villains had been working on a way to merge their quirks in the perfect way to make a strong villain - miwa was their current project until she escaped them

miwa doesn’t know how many others came before her or what happened to them when she asked she was told her ‘siblings’ were disposed of.

miwa’s quirk is gunna be the hardest to explain lol the short version is: miwa’s body can mimic and control different elements.

like... full on mimics elements. yknow like and elemental spirit? how it’s just a being made of fire or water or air etc etc? that’s miwa.

i’m actually on the fence about making the elements miwa shifts into to be alters (like she suffers from dissociative personality disorder.) so basically every time she shifts into a different element that element has its own personality? tho maybe it doesn’t even need to be DID it could just be the way her quirk works? SOMEONE GIVE ME INPUT PLS

her mother is a shapeshifter while her father could control elements

miwa was rescued by izuku’s father and then later adopted by him when it was quickly realized she didn’t want anyone else

she grew up with izuku and bakugou. her a bakugou are actually quite close since she’s the first person to beat him in stuff. he likes how strong she is.

miwa is also a pacifist! she had no interest in being a hero (it sounded like more trouble then it was worth) but when bakugou and izuku applied for u.a. she didn’t want to be left alone so she applied.

miwa is a soft bean. she hates violence but is willing to ATTACK when her loved ones are in danger

she’s also in the constant fear that her parents are watching her every move. she feels as if her parents gave her up to easy or staged the hero rescue for a reason. she’s constantly paranoid lol

miwa is classified as “looks like a cinnamon roll; can kill you”

nagi the tempest (#5)

real name: aoka arashi

currently my only villain but don’t worry i plan on making more!

nagi is the only daughter of as prostigious hero family.

the arashi family was known for its variety of powerful weather related quirks and continued to plan marriages based on quirks

the arashi family was also very abusive in its training and pushed nagi through limits she still has nightmares about; the training was due to how volatile nagi’s quirk is. which she was often blamed for

one day nagi snapped and destroyed the arashi family home along with everyone inside she was on the run for awhile before dabi found her

at that point i guess he was already apart of the league of villains? i’m not sure when dabi joined tho so this is just me guessing

nagi’s quirk is storm - nagi is able to create storms and manipulate them! it’s an extremely violate quirk that almost got her killed when she first manifested it. it’s the reason her training was so grueling. nagi needs moisture in order for her quirk to work

and while thunderstorms are something she can make she can’t actually control the lightning; not because it’s not apart of her quirk but because lighting is tricky to control in itself

she wields a katana that acts as a conduit for the lightning

when nagi does try to control the lightning more often than not it backlashes onto herself creating wounds/scars on her body in the shape of lightning bolts

dabi thinks they’re really pretty

nagi is the silent type. she very rarely talks and no one in the league of villains has ever heard the sound of her voice

dabi brags about being the only person nagi talks too

the name nagi was given to her by dabi it means the calm before the storm

though dabi gave her the nickname he often calls her aoka when they’re alone

despite her blonde hair and blue eyes nagi is 100% japanese!

her and dabi are hardly ever seen apart and if you haven’t guessed it i ship them lol

hinata enma (#6)

the beguiling heroine: enchanter

my trans baby girl!!!!!!!!

a 5th generation geisha currently a maiko of course

her quirk is heartbreaker - a succubus quirk! besides her supernatural beauty and over all supernatural condition (strength, speed all that good stuff) hinata’s real quirk is her voice; her voice has the power to control others and even alter reality.

you know allison hargreeves from the umbrella academy? that’s hinata

i’m still not sure how i want hinata to be able to trigger that power like how allison as to say “i heard a rumor” to use her power?? idk what i want hina to say

a hinoenma is a japanese yokai extremely similar to succubi which is where i got hina’s name

as i mentioned, hina is a geisha! not a prostitue

growing up hina was taught art, dancing and singing she excels at all three uwu

hina’s mother, yuuhi, is close friends with masaru bakugou. masaru usually goes to her for help with traditional japanese fashion

because of this bakugou and hina grew up together

the two are best friends even though they go to separate schools katsuki is the only one hina doesn’t use her power on

katsuki is also the one to encourage hina to become a hero though the two don’t go to u.a together instead hina attends shiketsu high

the two of them video call each other daily

hina is very mischievous!! she likes playing harmless pranks and teasing others

when she was in elementary and middle school she was often picked on for her quirk being a ‘villain’ quirk

she’s never used her quirk in malicious ways

the most malicious way she’d use is to help play a prank

she trains with bakugou when she can

[kcowgill]

9/01/2019 3.11 miles/5.01 kilometers I did it! (Part Two) YTD: 565.94 miles

This was a VERY DIFFICULT 3ish mile run. My legs were SO angry at me for yesterday. But I did it! Had to alter my course because there’s a GIANT polish food fest smack in the middle (ok, at the beginning) of my usual neighborhood 5k route. Looks like I was able to adjust pretty well. I thought I could re-route down Avondale (instead of Lipps) but that was blocked off too, so I ran straight to Milwaukee, down to Lawrence, did a tiny turnaround on Lawrence and was back on my way.

The festival (Taste of Polonia) takes up well more than the entire bottom quarter of this pic.

BTW we’ll be going there to stuff the kids with pierogies later.

[rickwardsinnerhands]

so I added darts to take in my pants and I pretty quickly ran into a problem! the pockets were all baggy! but I remembwr the darts of my professionally tailored pants being in the pockets like I did, so now I had to come up with a solution. my solution was to just cut the extra fabric from the middle of rhe pocket, sew it back together and cover the damage with a cute fabric I picked up yonks ago from Michael's

anyway probably wasn't the 'correct' solution but the pants came out cute af. did a little embroidery as well. ya'll check out my lil bee ❤️ I'm so proud of him

and here's my cute lil butt in my jeans, I think the altering turned out well!

btw if the picture quality is different it's because I used an older phone to get the pic of my booty, the newer one was too heavy to get a butt pic!

[carrotzcake]

for the second time since working at chipotle this woman i know came in. she is someone i went to high school with. she used to be extremely heavy and an addict (she talks about this openly). she is now sober (from "all mood altering substances"), had weightloss surgery and is obsessed with going to the gym. she's a wannabe influencer who openly posts about all this on her instagram, counts macros, posts a million gym pics, discusses her weight/body/all kinds of disordered shit, in my opinion. i am of the belief that she previously had an eating disorder that has morphed into different symptoms but i am not qualified to diagnose her. i am glad she's proud of who she is now, i cannot imagine how difficult it must have been like to be the size she was in middle school/high school (or in general). and i am sad that she cannot see how she's perpetuating unhealthy ideas around food and weight.

anyway she posted a review of her chipotle meal tonight (btw didn't acknowledge me at allll) & i lowkey wanted to mess w/ her meal so it would impact her precious macro counts (i didn't do that because i'm not an asshole; but generally those nutrition calculators are based on portion sizes we don't necessarily follow)

[drabbles-and-shit]

The Mailman is Really Attractive and Dean is Smitten

When Dean first saw the new mailman that Saturday afternoon, his body had such an immediate and visceral reaction, he had to excuse himself to his bedroom for a little quality time with his right hand.

Seriously, it was insane; nothing like that had ever happened to Dean. He only figured out that he was attracted to both guys and guys about a year ago, but he’d never even had that sort of response to a girl. And what’s worse? It was one of the best experiences he’s ever had jacking off.

Like, no shit, that mailman was the hottest human Dean ever laid eyes on, and he wasn’t even Dean’s type! Dean had always gone for the petite guys, because you know, he was a dom. Well, with guys he was. He had actually started experimenting letting girls top him, and much to his own embarrassment, he actually really liked it. There was something about someone else being in control that was hot as fuck. But, just girls. He wanted nothing in his asshole, ever, thank you very much. But anyway, even though he only ever had pursued twink-types, the mailman was buff as fuck. He had looked like he was about Dean’s height, and the summer heat-induced sweat made for a uniform that clung to his body just so Dean could see rippling muscle underneath. And the shorts, no matter how silly looking for being as short as they were, let Dean see the legs of either a runner who swims in his spare time or just the legs of an actual Adonis. And his forearms! God, so strong and tanned and--Dean noticed he was developing another situation down south and forced himself to concentrate on gross things like old people making out or his brother Sam’s face. Good, good; the situation went back down.

~***~

An uneventful week later, and Dean was back looking out his front window, shamelessly watching and waiting for the new mailman. He had no idea if he was actually going to come around again; hell, he might have just been filling in that one day for the old guy that Dean normally saw bringing the mail.

But Dean’s curiosity was rewarded, because after about ten minutes of casual spying, he noticed the mailman walking up the sidewalk with his messenger bag over one shoulder, radiating sexual appeal. God, he was just as hot as last week.

Oh my god, wait, he walked by the mailbox and towards the door. He was coming to the door. He probably had a package or something. But not the porno kind. Shit, what if he saw Dean last week? Dean jumped behind his couch as fast as humanly possible and tried to not breathe, because nobody was home. No one. Was. Home.

The doorbell rang, and Dean sucked his breath in and froze. Shit, the TV was on. He had completely forgotten it, and now the sexy mailman was going to know he was hiding like a kid afraid of Jehovah’s Witnesses, and he was going to judge him ughhhh. Suffice to say, Dean was fucking embarrassed.

He waited a solid five minutes before sneaking back to the window and checking the mailman was gone before opening his front door and grabbing the package off the step. His embarrassment was forgotten quickly, because it was his Star Trek phaser from ThinkGeek! Charlie was going to be sooooo jealous, and he couldn’t fucking wait to gloat. He snapped a picture of it and shot it off to her.

Dean: Looks like I win the gayness contest, because I can set phasers to STUN #2fab4u

Charlie: Oh my god, it came!!

Charlie: You had better bring that to work Monday so I can play with it

Dean: Only if you promise to not break it

Charlie: Btw did you see the hottie today??

Dean: Duh where did you think the package came from?

Charlie: DID YOU TALK TO HIM?!?!

Dean: You kidding? No way, Jose

Charlie: Ugh you’re no fun

Charlie: Wait. I have an idea! You should write him a letter and put it in your mailbox so he can read it when he brings your mail!!

Dean: Do you even know me? Charmando, I wouldn’t do something like that if my life depended on it

Charlie: You’re such a scaredy cat, Winchester

Dean: And proud

~***~

Drunk Dean sometimes did things that Sober Dean had to pay for, especially when his best friend/arch nemesis Charlie was involved. They always went for drinks together after work on Fridays, and somehow Dean always ended up being the only one of the two of them that did stupid, drunk person stuff. He was beginning to suspect that maybe she didn’t actually even drink, just pretended to so that she could talk his more malleable alter ego into doing what she wanted him to. Like, just a random example, writing a note to the sexy mailman.

He was going to kill her. Saturday morning met him with a skull splitting headache, and more importantly, oodles of regret. Because yes, he could vaguely remember sitting down with a pen and a piece of paper last night and writing… something. God, he couldn’t remember what the hell he had written. Maybe he had enough time to run out to the mailbox and take it out before it was too late!

Dean pulled on his sweatpants and charged out into the painfully bright midday sun. Despite his body’s many protests, he made it to the mailbox in record time, but it was for nothing, because when he opened it up, the note was gone and had been replaced by what looked like a bill and some coupons for pizza. He couldn’t really be sure, because his eyes felt like he was stabbing them full of needles. He defeatedly walked back into his house and pulled out his phone.

Dean: Dude. What happened last night. Tell me or I’m going to send your girlfriend your prom photos

He waited for a response while chewed discontentedly on a piece of cold bacon from the fridge and sipping a glass of water. He didn’t have to wait for long though, and he soon heard the telltale R2-D2 beep that was Charlie’s text alert noise.

Charlie: You were so plastered, my man. It was wild.

Charlie: I take it you only just woke up and didn’t have time to get the letter out of the box?

Dean: Shit, so that really happened? Dear god, tell me I didn’t write anything too embarrassing?

Charlie: You politely told him you wanted to suck his dick

Dean: I’ve got the picture ready to send!

Charlie: Ugh, fine. No, all you said was that you thought he looked nice and were wondering what happened to the old guy who used to bring your mail. Tbh it was pretty cute. I love drunk you

Dean sighed in relief. It was still as embarrassing as balls, but maybe the guy will think Dean has a kid or something and they wrote it. He can only hope at this point.

~***~

When Dean got home from work Monday evening and opened up the mailbox, his hopes that the mailman would just ignore the letter were proven useless.

Sitting there in the box, on top of a classic car magazine he subscribed to, was a small blue envelope with no stamp and just his first name in rather lovely script in the middle. He ripped it open before he even got inside, because holy fuck, there’s no one who would drive by his house just to put a letter in my mail other than Mr. Sexypants. It read:

Dear Dean,

I’m guessing by your handwriting and subject matter that you’re either a child or a drunk man. If it’s the former, please tell your parents that I am not a pedophile. Please. If you’re an adult and just have terrible handwriting, I’m sorry for touching on a sore subject.

Anyway, Cain, your previous mail carrier, was only working your route temporarily. He actually is one of the higher-ups for the USPS and was delivering mail as a sort of extended vacation from management. Odd, I know.

I appreciate that you think I look nice, and if you’re the adult male who lives at this address, I think you do too. If you’re a child, I’m sure you look nice, but in a non-pedophilic way.

Yours,

Castiel

Oh my god, Dean was in love. Haha, just kidding. He’s not in love; what are you talking about? Totally not in love. Nope, not at all. He lunged inside, pulled off his jacket and tie, and began furiously debating whether or not to tell Charlie about this. On the one hand, she’s his only real friend besides his younger brother, who is constantly busy with lawyer-things. But on the other hand, she would totally gloat about this for the rest of her life. But fuck it, he needs to talk to someone about this, because he never has romance in his life!

Dean: Omg you’ll never believe what happened\\

Charlie: Ooh! What??!

Dean: Mr. Double Stuffed Hotness is named Castiel, and I might want to marry him

Charlie: HE WROTE BACK?!?! It’s fate, my young grasshopper

Dean: I’m gonna send you a pic of the letter he wrote back so you can help me figure out what to write back

\

Charlie: You had better let me be your best man!! AND let me officiate!!! I’m already planning my speech

Dean: Don’t get ahead of yourself… but I’m actually kind of psyched rn

And so the planning began. Eventually, they decided on a note that read the following:

Dear Castiel,

As you deduced, I was drunk. Don’t worry, I’ll tell my parents you aren’t a pedophile anyway, just in case. Of course, they’re both in their 60s and will probably also assume I’m drunk, but better safe than sorry.

Thank you for saying I look nice, though I can’t imagine when you’ve seen me. I’m normally at work when you bring the mail (around 1:30pm, right?), so have you seen me on a Saturday? Okay, you don’t need to answer, just in case you’re actually a stalker or something. It’s never good to confront the bad guy in horror movies, and I’ve learned my lesson.

Hey, is your name really Castiel, or is that a pseudonym? I googled it, and it’s the name of the Angel of Thursday? What’s so special about Thursdays?

Live long and prosper,

Dean

~***~

Dear Dean,

I’m very glad I won’t be going to jail for calling a child attractive. You can probably hear my sigh of relief from there.

I can neither confirm nor deny when/where I have seen you. Also, are you calling me the antagonist of a horror film? If so, please enlighten me on which one, because I’m rather a fan of being scared shitless, and I’m sure seeing myself as the murderer will make an horror viewing experience even more terrifying.

And yes, my name is really Castiel. Let’s just say my parents were hippies. Many people call me Cas, though, and my siblings call me Cassie. I don’t like my siblings very much.

What about you? Why are you named Dean? Did your parents hope you would create a list of exceptional people? Or perhaps they wanted you to grown up to resemble Dean Martin?

I’m sorry, I don’t know where all that rude sass came from; it’s been a long day.

Khaaaaaaaaaaaaaaan,

Cas

~***~

Mr. Spock,

I had a girlfriend named Cassie once! Sort that information away for a future test, I suppose. How many siblings do you have? I one brother, and he can be such a bitch sometimes, so I definitely get where you’re coming from.

As it happens, I’m named after my grandmother, Deanna. And I swear to god, if you make fun of me for that, I will, um, do something… I don’t know exactly what yet, but I’ll figure it out, and it’ll be awful, I promise!

So, is it really that hard being a mailman? (You said it had been a rough day.) I’m a mechanic, by the way. If you ever need to know anything about cars, just hit me up, and I’ll be happy to help. For a price… Ha, just kidding. Maybe…

Dammit Cas, I’m a mechanic, not a doctor!

Dean

~***~

Bones,

I find it slightly perturbing that my nickname is also the name of your ex. But I always ace tests, so I guess I’m glad to know it anyway.

I have 5 siblings. I know. Hippies don’t believe in birth control, I guess. But yes, family of 8, from Michael the oldest, down to Sam the youngest. Since I’m on the subject, I suppose I might as well list off all my siblings. There’s Mike, Gabe, Luce, me, Anna, and Sam, ranging in ages from 37 to 21. Oh, I’m the ripe old age of 29, by the way. Not that that matters. Jesus, this entire letter is me talking about my family, sorry.

And no, it’s not hard being a mailman, but it is hard having to take your beloved cat to the veterinarian because they’re refusing to eat, not having bowel movements, and rolling around on the floor, meowing in pain. The poor guy had a blockage and almost died. It was a tough day.

I might just take you up on your offer to help explain things about cars, because I am completely clueless about them. I drive an old clunker that eats gas money like nobody’s business, and I really need to get a new car as soon as possible.

Have you been at the Romulan ale again??

Cas

~***~

Castiel,

I know I signed my last note with a Bones reference, but make no mistake, I am 100% Kirk, and I would appreciate it if you referred to me as such. Thank you for not forcing me to pursue legal action.

Dude, my younger brother is named Sam! Well, technically he’s named Samuel, after our grandfather, but still. Weird. And I’m 32, so that’s cool I guess.

I’m sorry to hear about your cat; that sounds pretty awful. I’ve never really had pets, and I’m actually allergic to cats, but I remember when Sammy’s dog was hit by a car and how distraught he was. I’m guessing your cat is all right now, though? If so, I’m glad. If not, sorry for rubbing salt in the wound.

Dude, do not drive that car. Like, stop it now. Please, for the sake of car lovers everywhere. Take it down to Singer’s Auto Salvage Yard; Bobby is a friend of mine, and if you tell him I sent you, he’ll give you a good price for it, and then you can use that money to buy something that’s not a piece of shit.

*funny Star Trek reference here*

Captain James Tiberius Kirk

~***~

Jim,

Can you sense me rolling my eyes? Because there’s some serious ocular oscillation going on right now in reference to your threats.

And I shortened my Sam’s name, too. His full name is Samandriel. Hippies, am I right?

Yes, my cat is fine, thank Talos. He is my best friend, and I don’t think I would be able to function properly if something happened to him. He’s a black shorthair named Toothless, by the way. Yes, I’m a basic bitch. Bite me.

I’ll try and take your advice about the car. I think my car is actually the automobile form of Sauron’s ring of power, because every time I’ve tried to get rid of it, it talks me into keeping it. I know in my heart that it needs to be torn apart for scraps, that it is taking advantage of me and should be destroyed before it does something terrible, but it’s mine. My own. My...precious…

Oh, my biggest problem is that if I sell her, I don’t know anything about buying cars, so I’m afraid someone will take advantage of my naivete and sell me an equally shitty car for a ridiculous price. Any suggestions?

*I can do this too*

Spock Spock Spock-ity Spock

~***~

Spockity,

God, I wish my parents had been hippies. Instead they were hippos. Yep, I was adopted by a pair of hippopotami at the age of four. Don’t believe me? Ask the Topeka Zoo, and they’ll corroborate my story. (Please don’t actually do that; they might remember me from when I was a teenager and broke in there to try and pet the giraffes.)

And I will never judge anyone for loving How To Train Your Dragon, because that movie was legendary. Toothless is the cutest dragon probably ever, and Hiccup is such a dreamboat.

Um, we definitely need to get rid of that car. Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks! I’m trying to help you. And speaking of helping you, if you find a car and want to know just how swindled you’re going to be, just send me the information, and I can let you know if you should buy it or not!

So… what kind of music do you like? I’m a big classic rock fan, and if you aren’t I will become determined to change that about you.

Can we up switch references? Maybe Princess Bride or something?

Princess Buttercup

~***~

Buttercup,

I find your story inconceivable. But did you truly grow up in Kansas? Personally, I grew up in the wilds of Washington; Seattle, actually.

And good; I would be very upset with you if you didn’t love Toothless and Hiccup, though I must say Hiccup is not exactly my type. I like my men a little older than he (recall that I’m not a pedophile), and I think any man I may date should definitely be my size or larger, or else I might kill them accidentally in bed. Huh, I guess we haven’t really talked about sexuality ever, so sorry if that made you uncomfortable.

I would greatly appreciate it if you would actually send me your phone number or email or something, so I could send you the information on a car I’m seriously considering buying. If you’d rather not hand out such personal information, I completely understand though.

I confess I haven’t listened to much classic rock. I mostly listen to classical music, though I’ve been delving into the genre of lofi hiphop, and I actually really enjoy it.

As you wish,

Vizzini

~***~

Vizzini,

You keep using that word; I do not think it means what you think it means…

Yes, I grew up in Kansas, a little town called Lawrence to be precise. And the bit about breaking into the zoo was real too, so please don’t report me.

And honestly, I’m kind of in a weird experimental stage with my sexuality right now. I know, that’s supposed to happen during college, but maybe I’m just not a normal guy, all right? Anyway, I think I’ve officially decided I’m bisexual, but who knows? Romance is tiring, but sex is fun, and I don’t really mind who the hole belongs to. Jesus, that sounded awful and disgusting; sorry. I’m not even really like that any more. I haven’t had a hookup for like three months, which has got to be some kind of record. Sorry, this I should stop writing while I have the chance.

Totally send me the deets about the car, man. My number is 1-866-907-3235

Dude, I’m going to indoctrinate you. You fucking need to listen to classic rock; it’s the stuff of gods. Maybe I’ll make you a mixtape or something so you can listen to all the best songs. Weird question: do you have a tape player? I’m kind of old fashioned, so yeah, I’m going to make you a cassette tape with my favorite Zepp tracks on it.

Mahwage, dah bwessed awangment,

The Dread Pirate Roberts

~***~

For some reason, it was taking Cas a long time to get back to Dean. They had kind of worked out an unspoken schedule by this point; one of them put a letter in the box Monday, the other responded by Wednesday, and then the first sent back a response the Friday of the same week. Basically three letter a week for the past month or so. No, that’s not weird or creepy for two adult men to do at all.

Dean had dropped off that last letter on a Monday, but no reply came on Wednesday. He tried to not let it bother him, thinking Cas was probably busy or something. But then there wasn’t a reply Thursday or Friday either, and he started to get a little miffed. The least Cas could have done was to text him now that he had his number, but noooo. Unfortunately, Dean had to be out of town that Saturday, so no confrontation could happen over the 1:30 mail delivery.

The next Saturday rolled around with no word from Cas again, and Dean was starting to get legitimately worried. He would have understood if the guy took some time off maybe for being sick or something, but two weeks? Nobody takes two weeks off, especially without telling their… friend? Suddenly, Dean’s ridiculous number of insecurities started blaring at him. What if he and Cas weren’t friends? What if he didn’t actually mean anything to Cas at all? He probably was just another drain on Cas’ time, and Cas had finally decided he’d had enough and didn’t want to talk to Dean anymore. Hell, he might have requested a different route because Dean was harassing him. Shit, of course all this was too good to be true. Dean never made friends; Charlie was the only acception to that painful trend, and he had no idea why she still hung out with him.

Dean knew those thoughts too well; he knew his own self-loathing always came around and wouldn’t leave until he started thinking about other things. So, he thought about Cas. It was almost 1:30, two weeks since he’d heard from him last, and he decided to camp out at the mailbox and wait for whoever came. He had to know if Cas was all right, at least. The guy was his friend, even if maybe Cas didn’t see him as one.

He didn’t have long to wait before seeing his old mailman (Cain, was it?) peddling a sleek bicycle down the sidewalk with a messenger bag slung over his shoulder.

“Um, hey, sorry to bother you. Cain, is it?” Dean fidgeted, feeling awkward as fuck.

“Yes, that’s me. Can I help you with something?” Huh, okay, Cain seemed like a pretty chill guy. Maybe Dean could actually avoid a panic attack from doing something this wild.

“Uh, yeah. Do you know Castiel? He brought mail on this route for a while? I just haven’t seen him in a while, and I was worried that something happened.” Dean was talking too fast, but he couldn’t help it, okay?

“I know Castiel, and I know he took off a few weeks. Don’t know why though; maybe a vacation or something. I wouldn’t worry about it though, if I were you.”

Oh Dean was gonna worry about it, no doubt about that. Because wow, he was glad Cas was all right and not dead somewhere, but Jesus, what kind of douchebag friend goes on an extended vacation without so much as a goodbye?? So yeah, Dean was going to worry about what he did wrong and why he never could keep friends, and why he was such a fucked up excuse for a human being. Awesome.

~***~

Dean was depressed. Charlie tried cheering him up but to no avail. He was just depressed. He actually took the day off on Monday, because he was such a fucking sissy who couldn’t deal with anything. God, no wonder Cas didn’t care about him. No one should care about him; he was so pathetic.

The doorbell rang. Dean lifted his head from the pillow it had been buried in for the entire first half of the day and decided he probably ought to answer the door, seeing as there was a 98% chance it was Charlie with pie and beer and a chick flick to make him feel better. God, she was too good for him; he didn’t deserve such a good friend.

He pulled the door open and was greeted by the invisible man; wait no, there was a package and a pile of mail on the front step. He sighed and picked it all up, then promptly dropped it all on the floor, shut the door, and collapsed on the couch. He didn’t feel like looking at the mail. He didn’t feel like doing anything except for sleeping. Ugh.

But maybe that package would cheer him up. He rolled his eyes at the tiny optimistic voice in his head and then rolled right off the couch and crawled to the pile of mail. He grabbed package without so much as glancing over the letters, probably all bills, and violently tore it open. Ooh, it was those custom leather-bound journals he ordered off Etsy. One was embroidered with his Hogwarts House logo (Hufflepuff and proud!) and the other matched it but had Charlie’s House (Ravenclaw, more like Raven...dumb! Good one). One of the few things he was ashamed of about being a sissy was doing things like buying matching things for himself and his best friend, or having sleepovers with his best friend, or planning his future wedding with his best friend. ANYway.

Okay, cool, the opening the package plan had worked! Dean was feeling better already. But then he saw it. Underneath the topmost bill was a little blue envelope. Dean’s hand had never moved so fast (yes, never).

Sure enough, it was from Cas. But unlike all the other letters Dean had gotten from him, this one was stamped and had both mailing and return addresses on it. Without stopping to think about what the fuck that could possibly mean, Dean ripped open the letter and read:

Dear Dean,

I am so sorry I haven’t written you in so long. To put it succinctly, my father had a heart attack, and I had to go to to Washington to be with him. The past two weeks have been about family and rekindling our relationships with each other. My father passed away two nights ago, and the funeral was yesterday. I know we never really talk about serious things, but I hope you won’t mind if I tell you this.

Honestly, as heartbroken as I am to see my father pass, I’m grateful that it has brought my family back together. All of us were there with him at the end, all of us were gathered around his bedside as he breathed his last. And he went peacefully, so I’m also grateful for that. I’ll be staying up here for another few days before flying back, and then I’ll be back to work as normal. I put my address that I’m staying at while I’m in Seattle as the return address, but I’ll add my home address too at the bottom of the page; it only feels fair that since I know where you live, you should know where I do too.

Again, I’m sorry if I made you worry at all. I know you might not see me the same way, but you’ve actually become one of my closest friends over the past month. What that says about my personal life? That I’m very awkward and antisocial, that’s what it says.

I hope to talk to you soon,

Castiel

Thank the fucking lord. Dean let go of a breath he hadn’t realized he’d been holding and grabbed his phone.

Dean: Cas is okay!! His dad died but he’ll be back soon

Charlie: Wait, his dad died, but he’ll be back soon? Who is he, god? I mean, Jesus. Whatever, I’m not required to make good religious jokes

Dean: Haha, very funny

Charlie: But yay!! I’m so glad for you!! Maybe now you’ll stop sulking like a little lost puppy

Dean: I make no promises

~***~

As promised, Cas was back by the end of the week, and Dean couldn’t stop grinning when he looked out his window Saturday to see Cas walking up to his mailbox.

He pulled the door open and ran out, unprecedented behavior from the man afraid to make eye contact with girl scouts selling cookies outside the front of the grocery store.

“Cas! It’s good to see you, man!” He went in for a hug, but then it got a little too real, so it ended up being one of those awkward side-hugs that no one really likes but everyone has to deal with.

Cas smiled back widely, and Dean got a little lost in his eyes. Wow, he’d never actually seen Cas up close, and now that he did, he could tell that Cas was actually the most attractive man alive. His ocean blue eyes drew Dean in, and he found himself completely phasing out to the point that Cas had to repeat a question three times before he could respond.

“Sorry, um, what was that?” Was the response. Classic.

“I asked if you were all right; you look a little phased.” No shit, Sherlock.

“Uh yeah, I’m fine. Just a little tired.”

“I was a little worried I’d scared you off with my last letter, seeing as how you didn’t write back.” Shit, Dean had forgotten to.

“Fuck, I totally forgot that I had your address. I guess I’m not used to actually properly sending letters, not just putting them in the mailbox.” They shared a quiet laugh before Dean went on, somberly. “I’m really sorry about your dad. My mom passed a few years back, and I know how painful it is.”

Cas smiles sadly. “Yeah, it was rough, but like I said in the letter, it really brought my family together, and I’m sure dad would have been happy to see the impact he had on us.” He paused, and Dean could there was something more rolling around in his mind, so he decided to stay silent and let Cas finish his thought. “It’s funny, he was such an absent father when we were growing up. I know he was different when he and my mom were first married; I think he was a carpenter or something, and he was always at home with Mike and Luce when they were little. But then his business took off, and by the time I was in diapers, he was hardly ever around. Business trips, late nights working, early morning meetings, it never ended. It kind of tore our family apart, bit by bit. First, Gabe ran away when he was 16. He didn’t get in touch with any of us for almost a whole year. Later, he told me he just couldn’t stand to see all the arguing and pain in our family. Then it was Luce, angrily storming off to college and refusing to answer our calls or emails. He loved all of us, his siblings so much, and I think watching dad’s absence affect us younger kids really took a toll on him.”

Suddenly, Cas’ eyes flashed up, and his cheeks grew pink. “Oh my god, I’m so sorry, I’ve just been standing here, telling you my life’s story. And fuck, I’m on the clock; I really need to run.”

Before Cas could move, Dean grabbed his wrist. “Wait, can you give me your phone number? I put mine in my last letter to you, but I’m guessing you didn’t get that.”

They exchanged numbers as quickly as possible, and Cas ran off towards the next house on his route. Dean grinned as he watched his run away and immediately send him a trial-run text.

Dean: If you gave me a fake number, I’m going to go to your house and shave your cat

Off in the distance (only about 200 feet, to be perfectly honest), Cas stopped and looked down at his phone, and Dean could not hold back a huge laugh.

Castiel: Toothless would kill your sorry ass

~***~

Regina George,

Oh my god, you’re so fetch.

Sorry Cas, I don’t know why, but I really felt like I had to change our theme to Mean Girls. Sue me. (Also, you better have fucking watched Mean Girls, or there will be hell to pay.)

So, my friend Charlie talked me into this, but I guess I kind of agreed with her that I ought to do it. And you can totally say no thanks, not interested, and it’ll be completely fine! But, I was wondering if maybe you’d be interesting in going on a date with me sometime…?

Wow, I am a child. Well, a teenage girl, to be precise. Oh shit, and you keep telling me you’re not a pedophile, so you’re definitely not going to want to go out with me now that you know my true identity. Well this is a fine mess I’ve gotten myself into.

Have you sold that car yet? You should really get on that.

Yours forever,

Amy Poehler

~***~

Mother,

Of course I’ve seen Mean Girls, I’m not that out of the proverbial loop.

And would you please thank your friend Charlie for me? I’ll admit, I’ve wanted to go on a date with you for a quite a while now, but ye ole’ social ineptitude wouldn’t let me ask. Maybe text me when you get this, and we can work out a time/place? Saturday nights are usually best for me, considering I’m always off Sundays.

Please Dean, if you’re a teenage girl, then I am too, and then it’s not pedophilia.

And no, I haven’t sold it yet, because I haven’t decided on a new one to buy yet, because in case you hadn’t noticed, my life has been a little hectic lately. I’ll try and text you the details on the car I’m looking at soon, though.

Fours yorever,

Reginers

~***~

Saturday night is there before Dean can get his shit together. He had frantically texted Charlie minutes after making the date with Cas asking her what he should wear and how he should act and whether he should just run away and never come back. You know, normal stuff.

In the end, he and Cas had decided on meeting an a small burger place near Cas’ place, so Dean knew he shouldn’t wear something too fancy. But he didn’t want to wear just his every minute of every day bluejeans, t-shirt, and flannel combo. So, with some sagely advice from Charlie, he’s decided on his most flattering pair of grey jeans and a button down maroon shirt, freshly ironed. Honestly, not half bad, even by his self-degrading standards. He toyed with the idea of a grey tie with the top two buttons of his collar undone, and decided it was too snazzy for him to refuse.

A 15-minute drive later, he was walking into the restaurant and looking around for Cas. And boy, did he find him. Cas was wearing a tight pair of black jeans, an Egyptian blue button down, and a black waistcoat, and holy fuck, Dean was having another southward situation just at the sight. He repeated the words ‘puss, flesh, old-people skin,’ in his head for half a minute until everything was hunky dory again, then made his way to the bar where Cas was standing.

“You look great, Cas.” Dean grinned when he saw Cas blatantly checking his ass. The good old grey jeans never fail.

“As do you, Dean,” Cas responded, his pupils mildly larger than probably normal.

They made their way over to a small corner booth and waived down a waitress. Adorably enough, they both ordered the same bacon cheeseburger, and in the time it took for their food to arrive, they discussed possible future heart health and how they were both going to die eventually, so it might as well be from eating delicious food.

“Dude, if bacon’s what gets me, I win,” Dean remarked right before taking a huge bite into his burger.

Cas harrumphed in agreement, then moaned around the first bite of his own burger.

Uh oh. Turned out, visual Cas is nothing compared to audible Cas in terms of making Dean’s nether regions all kinds of interested. To put it simply, Dean was sitting at a booth, on a first date, a burger in his mouth, almost completely hard. Awesome.

“Dean, are you okay?” Shit, Cas apparently noticed the panicked look on Dean’s face, and Dean’s face burned red.

“Um, yeah, I’m fine. I, um, just kinda have a little… situation. Downstairs. God this is so embarrassing; I’m soooooo, so sorry. Please don’t hate me.”

Cas was quiet for a second, then burst out with infectious laughter, and Dean couldn’t help but join in. “Oh my god, that’s hilarious. Was it become of the groan I just made or…?”

Dean ran a hand through his hair before responding, “Um, yeah. Fuck. Look, I haven’t gotten

laid in close to three months, so cut me a little slack. And honestly, I’m really sorry. I wanted this

to be a really special first date, but I feel like I kind of ruined it.” Like Dean ruined everything.

“Oh, no no no! Really, I understand much better than you’d think,” Cas assuaged his fear and sorrow with a comforting pat on the back on the hand. “It’s honestly fine. Now, do you need to go to take a trip to the bathroom, or are you all right now?”

Dean informed Cas that apparently humiliation was not one of his kinks, and the situation had resolved itself, and they were able to go on with their dinner like it had never happened.

But you know, it did happen, and Dean hadn’t had sex in months, and Cas was the hottest date Dean had ever had. SO yeah. Things happen.

~***~

After an amazing evening of burgers, pie, beer, and literal hours of conversation, they decided it was definitely time for them to part ways. Cas had walked to the restaurant, so Dean offered to drop him off on his way home, and Cas gratefully accepted.

The car ride was normal, if slightly tense. They were both slightly buzzed and totally attracted to each other, after all. But it was chill.

Dean pulled up to Cas’ home, a cozy-looking apartment complex, and parked his car in one of the visitor spots. They both climbed out and walked together up to Cas’ door.

“So, I had an awesome time tonight,” Dean half-mumbled, really trying his best to appear like he wasn’t desperate to go out with Cas again as soon as possible. “You think you might want to do this again sometime? I mean, really, I totally get it if like I’m not your type or you’re just not into me or you think I’m too--”

Cas slammed their faces (particularly their lips) together, effectively cutting off Dean’s self-abusive train of thought and filling his mind with only the pure bliss of Cas’ warm mouth on his, their tongues fighting for dominance. Cas’ mouth tasted amazing, like apple pie and happiness. Dean hungrily chased the flavour, and he couldn’t get enough. They broke for air for just a minute before Cas wheeled Dean around and up against his apartment door, weaving one hand into his hair and grabbing Dean’s own hand with the other, pinning it up against the door above his head.

Dean had never felt less in control, and it was amazing. He could feel the strength in Cas’ body shoved up against his own. He felt vulnerable, but for once in his life, he was okay with that vulnerability.

Cas moved his mouth down from Dean’s mouth to his neck, peppering the skin with hot, wet kisses. He settled on one spot, the meaty place between Dean’s neck and right shoulder and assaulted it with licks, kisses, nibbles, and sucks. He was driving Dean crazy, and Dean honestly couldn’t stop himself from moaning out, “Uhhhh, Cas…”

Maybe it was something about how he broke the silence, but Cas suddenly stilled and looked up at Dean, alarm filling his eyes. “Oh my god, Dean, I’m sorry. I’ve never done this before; I don’t know what came over me.” He stepped back from Dean and rubbed his hands over his face.

“What? Why’d you stop?” Dean replied, feeling suddenly abandoned.

Cas locked eyes with Dean and said very seriously, “I have no idea what I’m doing, Dean. I’ve never had sex; hell, I’ve never been in a relationship that lasted longer than a week. And you’re this amazing, attractive man who has had so much sex and knows all about it, and I’m just going to embarrass myself and it’ll be terrible and--”

This time, Dean satisfies the cliche, cutting off Cas’ river of doubts with a kiss into which he poured all the words he wanted to say but didn’t know how: that Cas made him feel safe and comfortable and like he could be himself and still feel appreciated and cared for and special and important.

Cas seemed to get the message, and he quickly took control once again, holding Dean tight in his arms and kissing him with more passion than is in an entire episode of Casa Erotica.

Dean had been hard for a while now, and as Cas clung to him, he could feel that Cas was in about the same spot as he was. But shit, if Cas was a virgin, that would put a lot of weight on Dean’s shoulders, right? He wanted to make it perfect for Cas, because that’s what Cas deserved.

But apparently, Cas had a completely different idea. He pulled away from Dean, and with his pupils completely blown wide and dark, moved his mouth to Dean’s ear and whispered, “I’m going to make you feel so good.”

Huh, well, Dean realized at that moment he was completely, 100%, no doubt about it, a bottom. And apparently, Cas’ self-confidence boosted itself threefold when he was horny, so yeah. That was pretty sweet.

Cas fumbled with his apartment keys and opened the front door before pushing Dean inside and slamming the door behind them. He kiss-walked (that thing where people are joined at the mouth but still manage to move around, that’s honestly kind of impressive if you think about it) Dean to what Dean assumed could only be his bedroom and shoved him onto the bed before climbing on top of waist and resuming kissing him like a man dying of dehydration and Dean’s mouth was a fucking water fountain.

Without breaking their lip lock, Cas scrambled to get Dean’s tie off, and Dean did his best to help with the clothing removal process, but his efforts were mostly futile.

Finally, after a  pathetically long and unromantic struggle, they were both naked, and Dean was basically drooling at the sight of Cas’ dick. Like, holy hell, it’s not like Dean himself was small, but Jesus, he was embarrassed of his own length in the presence of Cas’ massiveness.

Cas grinned with a hungry look in his eye as he took Dean in, and Dean felt suddenly self conscious as Cas scanned him so carefully.

Cas noticed the change in Dean’s demeanor and guessed the source quickly. “Dean, you are so beautiful,” his husky voice reassured before leaning in and capturing Dean’s lips once again, this time with a contrastingly gentle and loving kiss, and for once in his life, Dean let himself actually believe that about himself.

The kiss soon got more heated, and Cas’ hands began exploring Dean’s body, starting in his hair, traveling down his chest, over his hips, and down his thighs. Dean moaned and realized that, much to his embarrassment, he was actually close.

Fortunately, Cas seemed to sense he should advance things, and he trailed his hands back up to Dean’s throbbing cock. Dean let out a punched groan at the first touch to his hot member, squeezed his eyes shut tight, and clenched his fists behind Cas’ back. “So good, Cas…”

Cas’ hand left his cock for a minute, and Dean heard the telltale sounds of someone spitting before the hand returned, slick and tight. Just a couple tugs and Dean was coming with a shout. “Oh, Cas, oh fuck, Cas!”

He had never come so quickly in his entire life, but Dean couldn’t even find it in himself to be ashamed, especially as he heard Cas grunting as he followed directly behind him.

“Cas, that was…”

A sudden worried look fell over Cas’ face. “Was it bad? I’m sorry, I know we both came really fast.”

Dean laughed and tried his best kiss the pouting look off of Cas. “No, it was amazing, Cas. Jesus, that was the most vanilla shit I’ve ever done, but it was perfect.” Dean sighed and steeled himself before continuing. “And actually, I think the reason it was perfect was because, well, it was with you, Cas.”

~***~

“Honeybee, I’m home!” Dean stripped off his big winter coat and hung it on the hook by the front door.

“I’m in the kitchen, Dean!” Dean stalked through the house and up behind his husband, snaking his arms around the other man’s broad chest and leaning over his shoulder to give him a peck on the cheek.

“How was work today?” Dean asked, glancing around the kitchen and noticing with a grin what looked suspiciously like the mess left after someone has baked an apple pie.

“Work was lovely, thank you. Of course, that was mostly because of the letter I got from my favorite stop on my favorite route.” Cas grinned and spun around to give Dean a proper kiss.

“I’m your favorite?!” Dean grinned and pulled back before Cas could kiss him

Cas rolled his eyes, “No, I’m talking about our neighbor, Mrs. Tran.”

“I love you too, babe.” Dean finally let himself be pulled into his husband’s eager arms and smiled into the kiss. Fate was kind of awesome.  

[wallpapernifty]

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Posted: Apr 28, 2020 / 07:36 AM EDT / Updated: Apr 28, 2020 / 07:36 AM EDT

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from Wallpaper Nifty https://www.flowernifty.com/ten-white-flower-with-yellow-middle-that-had-gone-way-too-far-white-flower-with-yellow-middle/

[zeebartels]

First & most importantly –

All my love and thanks to my family, who know how much/little to check in on me and not ask too many/too few questions – DeeDee, Tins, Curtis, Manon, Chants, Casey

Zain – for being my hospital Saviour and just my favourite Pakistani ever! Chad – for trying your best to lie to the parents when KB ask the 2 questions you weren’t allowed to answer truthfully – that is what cousins are for. KB – you are my heroin and without knowing it guided me through this – WWKBD!

Elisha + Nico – for being the best big Sister + Brother a girl could need. There are no words to express how much I love you and appreciate you. Sis! looks like I will live to meet yuh man and you are the best secret keeper.

And, The NHS for existing [you can take all the National Insurance you want from me], King’s College Hospital & my multi-disciplinary team of docs for being absolute stars and sorting me out real quick.

So… it’s been a fucking mad end of this year.

I hate this time of year, it’s never felt happy or joyous and honestly I just see the loneliness in the world in this ‘festive’ season, and now compounded by the loss of my father on Boxing Day 2013 – this time of year I’m always thinking – where is the highest mountain or deepest hidey hole I can find until this is all over. But I think this year has taken the cake!

So I had this cough since end of July, no biggie – it’s a cough.

In October, I was inexplicably breathless speed walking to the boarding gate in Amsterdam with Court.

November 19th, I had the craziest fever – trying to sleep, laying naked in my living room with my windows and sliding doors open in the middle of winter and I still felt I was in Trinidad in midday hot sun.

Chaddy boy came over the next day and seeing I couldn’t say one word without having to catch my breath – emergency doctor’s appointment became mandatory. Now I am the worst patien if I can walk and not screaming in pain – I good, dancer habits die hard. So you know shit was real at this point.

Doc Wedgwood tells me to go directly to A&E 1st thing in the morning, She means – DO NOT pass go, DO NOT collect £200 [which would have been damn handy seeing I just quit my 2nd job for the year on Halloween – that’s another story though].

Of course, I was like “listen, give me some drugs so I stop this violent coughing business and could breathe cause I have a job interview tomorrow that not only do I really want to go to but shit! I need to be able to pay rent in 2018 and there is nothing that will make me move from the best flat in the world.”

We had a bit of a back and forth and this woman was not playing but no chest infection is going to affect my plan. Cue – an interview reschedule and I head to King’s College Hospital bright and early the next morning.

Give some blood and x-ray my chest. Then @ 8:50am the lovely good looking Isiah made everything a little more concerning. He asked me to stick around and started asking me a bunch of questions and after trying to be slick, I got him to eventually admit to me that, “My Chest X-ray is concerning, and I need to go to my GP 1st thing tomorrow to discuss the results”

Fuck me! So not a straightforward​ chest x-ray, not a simple case of a really bad chest infection. But you know I’m on a mission, cause I can’t tell my mother I quit another job this year without having sorted another, so I have interviews to get my ass too​.

Fast Forward to that afternoon, and my Doc Wedgwood left 2 voicemails and emailed me about my early morning results appointment – slight panic set in, so I called in the reinforcements for this appointment – enter Nicholai from Stage Right.

So much changed in a couple sentences that Wednesday morning.

“Your chest x-ray isn’t good. We have to do more tests to fully diagnose, but it’s 1 of 3 things –

Lung cancer [WTF?!?!], Lymphoma [this woman crazy!?!?] or Sarcoidosis [I know she crazy cause only people on House or Greys’ Anatomy have that, and those are TV shows].

Your heart rate is 160 – it’s working too hard and your lymph nodes are inflamed around 400%”

If Nico didn’t say respond – I woulda tell you – that was the most vivid dream I ever had. My Big Brother [as he introduced himself to Doc Wedgwood] asked the sensible questions. I said – how the hell do I tell my mother & sister?!!?

The Bartels Soldier surfaced [I am the child of KB – the Original Gangster] and I needed to make a plan. I started my “I’m dying” folder in my Notes.

What needs doing…

What are the next steps to diagnosis?

Who needs to or should know?

Do I change my pension beneficiaries from my Godchildren​ to my mother and sister [the original plan of them being gone by the time I die may not be the same]?

If it’s a cancer – do I do the fucked up chemo thing or just make sure I enjoy the rest of my time?

Sweet! I lost 10lbs in 2 weeks and I didn’t even make an effort – this could definitely be a good thing!!

Who needs access to my business if shit goes downhill from here.

Answers…

Kings’ College Chest Clinic will call me with my next appointments and instructions

Nico [he was there], Elisha [she’s my person], Chaddy [he knows something is up]. KB + the rest will know when I know what is what

Diagnosis 1st then change beneficiaries if need be

Stage 1 – we will try ah ting & KB will have to come and mind her chile in London. Late Stage 2 and beyond – I’mma just ride this out and see what happens

I have 50lbs I need to lose and hate exercising so this is a real good thing & I’m going to ride this train as much as I can [so far -20lbs + counting in the last month]

Elisha – all of it. Nico – my hospital details.

  So here is what followed:

My symptoms got worse –

I can’t walk 1 flight of stairs without being winded, I have to plan all my journeys around tube stations that have escalators and leave enough time to catch my breath before I have to speak to someone. And keep those to a bare minimum

Talking too much is difficult – not a problem for me, I’m not the biggest fan of people

Eating is tiring and takes my breath away – so most things become blended, good thing I had a bunch of already made frozen soup

I have violent coughing episodes that make anyone in my vicinity think I’m dying from the plague – They just gonna have to deal with that

My ribs are sore from all the coughing, so inhaling is painful

No matter how much water I drink (we are talking 3-4 litres a day) I still wake up at least 4 times every night coughing because my throat is so dry

I started sleeping on top of towels so my bed doesn’t get soaked from my night sweats

I decided on a hospital uniform – my fav GAP grey sweatpants & large quilted super cosy GAP jumper & NikexLiberty Air Max 90’s

Another 3 blood tests – 1 of which I had to tell a very fass phlebotomist about herself and that I do not need a husband nor define myself by the presence of a man & I still don’t know my blood type

A CT Scan – Yes you really do feel like you’ve pee’d yourself in your swimsuit and that cosy warmth stays with you for a couple seconds

A result appointments that only said more tests to come – Doc Turner didn’t seem too​ impressed to hear about my “I’m Dying” folder and whatever other snarky comments I  made

A bronchoscopy – My body was not happy about the invasion and started bucking like I was possessed and thus a punctured lung (more Grey’s Anatomy​y drama), I woke up, or more specifically, regained memory whilst in mid sentence to the nurse.

A week later – I found a bunch of druggie selfies and pics of bloody liquids [I assume came from me], and videos of my canula removal – no memory performing these actions and I doubt the nurse used my phone.

A PET Scan – preceded by a semi breakdown in the waiting room, it kicked off because they go my appointment times wrong, I was real tired and it was my 2nd day of fasting for a procedure. So a very unhappy Zara came to visit shouting for my doctor and threatening to start breaking things led to a coughing episode and was completed by my pee-ing myself while I’m trying to cuss them about their time fuck up. Eventually – they made me radioactive and I went home to my bed.

Ended that day with my cancelling an interview, receiving confirmation of 2 different job offers coming to my inbox within the next couple day and a late evening voicemail from Doc Turner “It’s good news – all things considered. I’ll see you on Monday and we’ll discuss treatment and long-term”

Well thank fuck for that! At least I don’t have to inject my self with poison. I can deal with that – and I can tell KB.

Monday 18th December – Final results appointment + diagnosis =

CONGRATULATIONS!! You’re a winner!!!

You only have a rare autoimmune disease that we don’t know much about but we can give you mood altering weight gaining steroids for symptoms but not much else. We don’t know what causes it, your symptoms can disappear as quickly as they appeared and never reappear, or you could get lung damage. You’ll have to come to the hospital once a month for a full workup.

BTW – how are your eyes feeling? Tired? Warm? Cause this could affect your eyes and your brain too.

Sarcoidosis is now your long time companion.

Gee! Thanks Doc Turner – you’re my hero.

Everything was made right literally in one afternoon, an afternoon where I felt so shitty, couldn’t catch my breath, breathing was painful and my constant coughing made me want to die.

I get to call my mother and tell her – it kinda went like this

[Me -ZB] Hey KB, so I have something to tell you. I quit my job on Halloween… [KB] Oh Shit man Zara! That was 2 months ago [ZB] yeah but I just had 2 offer conversations with 2 companies & I’ll decide on one of them later today, so the job situ is in hand. [KB] mmm hmmm [ZB] Annnnddd, I was being tested for Lung Cancer, Lymphoma & Sarcoidosis, but I only have Sarcoidosis. The best of the 3. [KB] What you saying? [ZB] {Long version as above} [KB] OK, well good thing you there and not here. You are my special child. First it’s your special mouth disease [that is another story – missing some jaw bone]

Ma asked some really good questions and we lime for a lil while on the Skype.

Hardest part done – So now, we sort shit out.

The job is decided on, I’m now the Head of People for a Games Company.

New Meds –

Getting my steroids via inhaler – straight to the lungs, minimise the side effects of steroids in the blood. I know the steroids would have given me a real reason to be fat but the mood swing business, I wasn’t really in the mood for nah!

More Codeine = more constipation – so increase on the prunes and keep on with the greens.

True Story – I’ve been on some form of codeine for the last month – A couple weeks ago, I’m sitting on my toilet for 20 minutes, my legs are numb and I’m crying with frustration cause really I’m a 36 yr old constipated woman, and all I want is for this shit to no longer be a turtle and become a drowned log. I have a coughing episode and all that shit comes barrelling out! The biggest most literal F-ough (fart+cough) that ever existed!! 

So now it’s the road to getting right, I have to be a bridesmaid in Court’s wedding and I’ve got 3 months to be able to breathe while I walk down her aisle.

I’m thrilled that I don’t have to tell my mother + sister that I have cancer at the same time of year we found out and lost my father to cancer.

I get to be on a special list for people with Special Diseases. I call it “exotic”.

I’ll lose the next 30lbs probably without much annoying exercise simply because I have to cut out all inflammatory foods and my body seems to be on that trajectory, once the vaporise steroids don’t get in the way.

And I get to learn more about this odd disease and I won’t be receiving a ridiculous hospital bill.

Everyone is now caught up and I wish you all a brilliant year and all the good things.

2018 is setting up to be a smash hit! I’m pretty excited.

Walk good

xoxo.​

I am a patient on House + Greys’ Anatomy First & most importantly - All my love and thanks to my family, who know how much/little to check in on me and not ask too many/too few questions - DeeDee, Tins, Curtis, Manon, Chants, Casey…

[workreveal-blog]

Apple launches new MacBook Pro!

New Post has been published on https://workreveal.biz/apple-launches-new-macbook-pro/

Apple launches new MacBook Pro!

MacBook Pro

The new Apple MacBook Seasoned is available in flavours, 13in and 15in, and the headline new characteristic is the Contact Bar, a touch touchy show along the pinnacle of the PC, where the private keys were. Also brought is a hint Identification sensor. It’ll retail for $1799/£1749 and $2399/£2349 up.

macbook

A type of new MacBook Pro enters at the lowest of the variety, no longer providing the Touch Bar, however, replicating the terrible bodily format of the top-end laptops. It starts of evolved at $1499/£1449.

Television

The Apple Television, iPad and iPhone get the Tv app in the US. A clearinghouse for all of your different Television apps, it lets you pick the show to watch from one central region and jump instantly into the precise app. Unless the right app is Netflix, which won’t assist Tv. No worldwide launch become announced.

Uk pricing: £1449, for the 13in without Contact Bar, £1749 for the 13in, and £2349 for the 15in respectively. Essentially, immediately conversion from dollars, minus £50.

This isn’t Apple inflating its worldwide charges, both: an instant conversion from dollars to kilos, plus 20% VAT, results in tonnes the same costs.

For reference, previous expenses have been £999 for the bottom 13in – a growth of £450 – and £1599 for the bottom 15in – an increase of £750.

That’ll be the Brexit effect, then.

And that’s it: Eighty minutes later, we’ve got three new laptops and one new app.

No new computers these days, nor updates to any of the other laptops.

Now we’re getting, basically, a eulogy for the MacBook Air, as Phil Schiller introduces one final device: a thirteen” MacBook Pro without the Contact Bar. Schiller walks thru all the ways the 13” MacBook Seasoned is better than the 13” MacBook Air. It’s thinner, smaller, and weighs the same.

Extra numbers! For the 15in device, the processor is an Intel Middle i7, quad-Center with 2133MHz reminiscence. Portraits card is a Radeon Pro chip, with as much as 4GB VRAM, up to 2.3x faster than earlier than. The drive is a “superfast SSD”, up to a few.1GB/s, as much as 2TB, as much as 50% quicker.

It’s 130% faster for 3-D Snapshots, 60% faster for gaming.

The 13in is pretty loads slower: an Intel Iris chip for Pictures, Core i5/i7 for the processor. It’s still faster than the vintage one even though.

All four ports are Thunderbolt three, a new well known which makes use of the USB-C port shape. That means you may charge with any of the four ports, plug a show into any of them, and so on. Of path, it Additionally way you will want many adapters: not much plugs directly into USB-C ports proper now.

Schiller shows off how all the one’s ports can be used to run two 4K shows, with two external RAID tough drives. Ideal for severe professional customers.

Federighi moves on to customisation. Through default, it looks like customising toolbars on Finder or favourite Mac apps, dragging and losing buttons.

And Touch I’d offer fast user switching! This is surely first-rate: any other user can switch to their very own account just By using scanning their fingerprint.

Then Federighi ruins it with a shaggy dog story about “properly fingerwork” from Schiller, which, ew.

As anticipated, the Contact Id sensor permits you to unlock the MacBook. That’s exceptional.

(Additionally, now not cited but seen: these laptops do have headphone jacks. No braveness from Apple there, but appropriate information when you have stressed headphones).

In most standard Mac apps, it seems like the Touch Bar will provide a hard replicate of the buttons alongside the toolbar, plus some first interactions: Mail, for example, has a smart button letting you bypass the message on to the proper mailbox Via default.

The Touch Bar also can be used as an emoji picker, which is almost surely a motive to buy this laptop over any others even though that changed into all it can do.

In Safari

the Contact Bar can provide previews of already-open tabs, and give you quick get entry to in your favourites. Federighi opens up Etsy and buys a $one hundred thirty-five copper pyramid for aligning his chakras the usage of Apple Pay. Relatable content material. A deeper dive on theTouch Bar (that’s its name, btw. “Contact Bar”): it’s a retina display, with multi-Touch input.

By way of default, it indicates the same versions of the buttons on the pinnacle of the laptops already, like quantity, playback and window management. But it can Additionally take application-unique interfaces: Schiller shows off Safari (favourites, access to the URL bar), Images (editing tools) and Pages (autocomplete).

And after touch Bar is Touch Identification, integrated with the hardware energy button

That sensor lets you do Apple Pay with the MacBook Seasoned, among other things.

Schiller arms over to Craig Federighi for the demo.

Open up the laptop, and see what’s interior:

A new pressure Contact trackpad, that’s twice as huge. Just like the MacBook’s trackpad, it uses haptic feedback to fraudulent clicks. A new keyboard, once more Just like the MacBook’s, the use of butterfly keys to drop peak.

And The new Touch bar …

As expected, the MacBook Pro has a thin Contact-strip walking throughout the pinnacle, and an all-aluminium frame.

It is available in 13in and 15in, in two colourings – grey and darkish grey – and is “the thinnest and lightest MacBook Pro ever”.

The 13in version is 14.9mm, 17% smaller than earlier than (it used to be 18mm), and is 3lb, down from around 3.5lb.

The 15in version is 15.5mm, down from 18mm, and weighs 4lb, once more down from around 4.5lb.

“The Mac is so especially important to us,” says Prepare dinner. “This week happens to be a massive week from the records of the Mac, and the history of Apple.” Why? It’s the 25th anniversary of Apple’s first computer, the Powerbook. Apple is expected to launch the subsequent technology of Mac computer systems at a press event on 27 October. The organisation sent out the invitations, with the words “Hiya again” underneath a colourful Apple logo, on Wednesday night.

The event is expected to feature the release of the newest versions of Apple’s MacBook Professionals, the enterprise’s top tier of PC systems.

apple

The new computers are expected to have some of the primary changes to the pre-current models. A few of the rumoured alterations are a hint-touchy OLED strip turning the feature keys along the pinnacle of the keyboard; a touchID sensor for reading fingerprints; a thinner frame; and the abandonment of USB-A, the traditional port for the connection preferred, in favour of the slimmer, reversible USB-C.

There’s Additionally the opportunity that the 11-inch MacBook Air, the employer’s cheapest laptop, may be dropped from the line-up, with Apple imparting the More expensive 12-inch MacBook – confusingly, primarily the equal length as the Air – for those who need a lightweight PC for travelling.

The MacBook Seasoned line hasn’t been up to date seeing that May additionally 2015, while it acquired a minor suite of upgrades which include a speed bump, higher battery life, and a “force Touch” trackpad. Apple had been to a great part unable to provide bigger modifications to the road attributable to delays in the most current generation of processors from chip organisation Intel, codenamed Broadwell.

Broadwell processors began to hit the market in mid–2015, but, leaving much thinking why it took Apple see you later to offer an improve. In comparison to the opposition, the current technology of MacBook Professionals is underpowered.

Even Extra ignored is the business enterprise’s top-tier computing device hardware, the Mac Seasoned. The computer received a complete redesign in December 2013 but has had genuinely no updates given that then. Except the company has managed to preserve ability adjustments underneath wraps, that state of affairs is possible to continue: no updates to the Mac Seasoned are expected.

Apple has also released a brand new smaller MacBook with a bigger 12in retina screen that’s merely 13.1mm thick.

The new 12in MacBook is thinner and lighter than the previous 11in MacBook Air, however, has a brand new vast and retina-satisfactory screen, marking the first change to the PC line-up on account that 2010.

Cook stated: “Each yr for the closing decade, the Mac has outgrown the enterprise. And if you examine notebooks the numbers are even greater telling. However the definition of portability has modified in the closing several years, and so we challenged ourselves to reinvent the laptop.”

Phil Schiller, vice-president of worldwide advertising, introduced that the tool was “the most severe and efficient pocket book we have ever created”. The machine weighs simply 2lbs, and is 24% thinner than the old MacBook Air, at thirteen.1mm – despite the fact that the business enterprise is retaining the “Air” moniker for the older, large model, which profits a faster processor along with the MacBook Seasoned.

The new machines will also be the first Apple laptops to apply The brand new reversible USB type-C ports, which are tonnes slimmer than the standard USB ports, But the cable can be plugged in either manner up.

new macbook

The single port can aid USB, but additionally VGA, HDMI, DisplayPort and electricity. Apple has also changed its “MagSafe” magnetic charging port and eliminated the Thunderbolt port, leaving the tool with only a single port, used for each load and enter/output. Alternatively, the enterprise envisages owners use c084d04ddacadd4b971ae3d98fecfb2a and Bluetooth to get records inside and outside.

The brand new pics retina show uses much less strength on the same brightness than previous presentations, in line with Schiller. But despite the screen, the computer is the primary from Apple to feature no fan for active cooling. Instead, the use of a motherboard sixty-seven% smaller than the previous model’s to each shop area and reduce warmth.

Apple design leader Jony Ive stated the agency took “a severe method to miniaturisation. A fundamental aim changed into the need to take away events, fanatics and any transferring components, allowing it to operate in complete silence.”

The gap stored with the aid of the motherboard is used for batteries, primary to the devices quoted battery lifestyles of “all day”; figures of 9 hours for wireless web surfing and 10 hours of film playback have been additionally given.

Like iPhones and iPads, the device comes in 3 colorations: silver, gold and “area grey”. The tech specs begin at a 1.1ghz processor, 8GB of RAM and 256GB of storage. It will deliver on 10 April, with expenses starting at $1,299 and rising to $1,599 for a quicker processor and more garage.