#also. why am i the only person who likes sean. why everybody hates my guy so much

[iangallagherisadeadman]

[thetrashsean]

“Why wasn’t Life is Strange 2 as popular as the first game?”

A lot of people like myself have wondered what exactly made Life is Strange 2 go so relatively unnoticed compared its predecessor, Life is Strange 1. And when you think about it, you may come up with the few obvious generic answers, such as the lack of Max and Chloe and just the original cast in general. However, I think there was a lot more at play here that prevented Life is Strange 2 from reaching the amount of success/popularity the first game had. So I want to take the time and break down what exactly happened to Life is Strange 2 and the things that hurt the game’s ability to really connect with the audience of LiS1.

Disclaimer: We do NOT know how well Life is Strange 2 was for Dontnod and if it was a success or not. No sales numbers have been given out to the public so there’s no way of knowing for sure how well the game did. What we do know is that LiS2 did not receive the same amount of attention/popularity as the first game. That can’t be denied, it simply didn’t. However, based on the fact that Dontnod have recently announced they are working on six new games at the moment and are now expanding their studio, even if LiS2 was a “flop” it doesn’t seem to have had much of an effect on them (most likely due to the success of Vampyr). Dontnod is going to be fine either way. Another thing I want to mention is that this is not a anti-LiS2 post and that I am a fan of the game. I’d consider myself a pretty big fan actually. I have my problems with the game of course and don’t agree with a lot of the writing decisions but I enjoyed the game very much overall. But for the sake of this post I will try to be as unbiased as possible, giving out only what I’ve observed when it comes to reactions from the fandom on different websites and forums. So with that all being said, let’s dive in to this.

Here I will be listing the many different reasons as to why Life is Strange 2 failed to reach the same amount of popularity as LiS1 or even BtS managed to achieve. This list isn’t in any particular order but some reasons are bigger/more important than others.

For some background, there was a lot of hype going into Life is Strange 2. The teaser trailer for it with the cop car trended at #2 on YouTube, a huge feat for the series. It generated immense amount of views and comments in a short period in time, completely surpassing Before the Storm’s announcement trailer in just a few weeks. So what exactly happened to all that hype? Where did everybody go? Well, let’s break everything down.

1. The lack of Max and Chloe: Yes I said that this list wouldn’t be in any particular order in terms of importance but I think it’s obvious this one is one of, if not the biggest reason as to why LiS2 failed to match LiS1’s popularity. When the protagonists Sean and Daniel were first revealed, the reception was pretty divisive. Specifically, a very vocal part of the community were baffled and disappointed at the lack of Max and Chloe present within the trailer and subsequently the game itself. This instantly turned off a lot of people from the game, as they couldn’t connect with the new characters or simply didn’t want to. At that point in the franchise Max and Chloe as well as the original cast from the first game had been the face of the series for almost three years. It’s understandable why it was hard for people to just…move on. To this day people are still asking for Max and Chloe to return. The Life is Strange subreddit is still dominated with Max and Chloe fanart. Whenever the social media accounts for Life is Strange post anything Max and Chloe related it gets way more attention compared to a post about Sean and Daniel. Whenever a post online goes viral about Life is Strange you can bet it’s most likely about Max and Chloe. Hell the only reason why episode 5 of Life is Strange 2 trended on Tumblr was because of the fucking picture of Max and Chloe. On the releas day of episode 5 of LiS2 the top post on the subreddit was the Max and Chloe picture. It was almost as if that one photo of them completely overshadowed the entire episode. Point is, Life is Strange 2 lost a lot of momentum the moment it was revealed Max and Chloe would not be present. Case closed, let’s move on.

2. The release schedule: Words cannot describe how frustrating the release schedule was for LiS2 when it came to it’s episodes. For those reading this who didn’t follow LiS2 until the game was finished, each episode took around 3-4 months to be released. This was because Dontnod bit off a bit more than they could chew with the road trip story in having to create new locations and character models from scratch. The reason why this wasn’t a problem for LiS1 was because Max was for the most part always in the same locations around the same characters (I’m pretty sure you roam around Chloe’s house like 4 times throughout the season), which made development a lot easier since the devs could just reuse a lot of the assets. Unfortunately, this wasn’t possible for LiS2 due to the nature of it’s story. The wait times between each episode made a lot of people leave the fandom due to loosing interest or simply forgetting about the game altogether. This also impacted youtubers/streamers as many of them either stopped coming back to play the new episodes or they’d not be as connected as they were in the previous episode due to the amount of time that had passed. One of the reasons why LiS1 gained so much popularity was because of youtubers/streamers and how they would bring in their audience and would pretty much make them fans of the series. With quite a handful of youtubers/streamers quitting LiS2, the game was not able to draw in as much of an audience as previous games did. This is how detreminetal the release schedule was for LiS2.

3. The marketing (or lack thereof): Square Enix really fucked up on this aspect. Due to the ridiculous wait times you would think Square Enix would try and advertise the game heavily when a new episode was about to be released, right? Well they didn’t. Not at all actually. Throughout the games release schedule from September 2018 up to December 2019, I had not seen a single ad for the game. Nothing on YouTube, nothing on reddit or any other websites, it was like Square Enix had completely forgotten about the game’s existence. Now don’t get me wrong, SE did do a few things with LiS2 like starting up the community series on their YouTube channel and also the dev updates that came after episode 1 (that stopped after episode 2 for some reason) but these went relatively unnoticed to people outside of the fandom and did pretty much nothing. I believe SE was trying to wait until the game was fully complete with all of it’s episodes released before actually marketing the game (and they DID start advertising the game after episode 5 came out) but that’s just WAAAY too long to go without any type of advertisement. I understand marketing teams have budgets and what not, but you’re telling me there was no way for SE to market each episode in anyway as they were about to be released? Seems a bit ridiculous, don’t you think?

4. The road trip story: I completely understand why Dontnod wanted to branch out and do something different with the story of Life is Strange 2 and I respect them for stepping out of their comfort zones. However, it can’t be denied that the road trip story where characters are cycled in and out as Sean and Daniel make their way to Mexico was a very…questionable decision. Seeing as how LiS1 was loved for it’s world filled with a reoccurring cast of characters that developed as the story went on, it’s really easy to understand why LiS2 was so off-putting for a lot of fans. It was off-putting for me, even. It just…wasn’t fun having to leave these truly interesting characters behind because the plot demanded it. This left a lot of characters feeling underdeveloped to many people and by the time you meet new characters you already know they’re most likely gonna be gone soon anyways, so it made it even harder to connect with them. Couple this with the fact that LiS2 lacked any type of mystery unlike LiS1, speculation and discussion fizzled out a few weeks after each episode was released. LiS1 kept people speculating and wondering about what would happen next, while LiS2 left a lot of people struggling to care.

5. Politics: Yeeeeaaaaah I think I had to put this somewhere on the list. While many of the people who tease and mock how LiS2 handled its political topics were most likely not fans of the series anyway (the type of people who called LiS1 “Life is Tumblr” and hate Chloe), I do think it’s important to realize that some people just don’t want politics in their games, period. I’ve seen people online come out and say that while they agreed with what the writers were saying when it came to the political topics, it overall still came off very forced and one-sided to them, lacking any type of nuance or subtlety. I could write an entire essay discussing if the politics in LiS2 were handled well and whatnot but this is not that post so I’ll just leave it at that.

6: Lack of a prominent female cast/wlw: This is a bit more tricky to talk about (for the record the person writing this is a black gay guy) but I will try and write about this the best way I can. For many women, specifically queer women, Life is Strange was a series they could expect representation from. Max, Chloe, Rachel, and Steph are all popular characters amongst the fandom and even other wlw ships such as Marshfield, Chasefield, Chaseprice, etc are popular. So when LiS2 was revealed to be about two (hispanic) males, the queer women within the community were understandably upset. It felt like DN were simply throwing away the community that for the most part made up the entire fandom. At the time I simply found the situation ridiculous and overblown as many people were dismissing Sean and Daniel as “generic straight males” (even though it turned out Sean was bisexual in the end) before really getting to know them. However, looking back I totally get why people were upset. A lot of the fanart/fanfiction that was made for the LiS series was mostly created by queer women, so when the franchise pretty much stopped giving them representation, they left in search of other media (like She-Ra, which honestly has better wlw rep anyway). LiS2 is also mostly male dominated in terms of its cast, and features no queer women as well, which is really disappointing in my opinion.

7. Price: This one is pretty simple. When Life is Strange 2 was first released the full season costed $40. This was a pretty big jump in comparison to LiS1’s $20 price tag (original price was $25 however) and BtS’s $16. Obviously people would be more skeptical about buying a sequel that is pretty much double the price of its predecessor and has completely new characters. With the pretty mixed reception from gaming communities I wouldn’t be surprised if a lot of people saw the price and decided to either watch a playthrough or simply not check out the game at all. With the first episode now free the base price has been lowered to around $30-32 I believe so yeah.

8. Daniel Diaz: Some people just don’t like kids, and I wouldn’t be surprised if people grew easily frustrated with Daniel early on and once he got more irrational and bratty as the story progressed they just stopped playing altogether. Even if you do like kids, or at least don’t mind them like myself, Daniel can still be quite a pain.

9. Not having control of the powers: This one is honestly really disappointing and I know it was to a lot of other people as well. In LiS1 Max had the ability to rewind time and do certain scenarios and conversations over and that basically acted as the more interesting gameplay segments. In LiS2 Sean doesn’t have the power, his brother Daniel does. This leads to the gameplay feeling much more boring and mundane. There are also no interesting puzzles this time around, most likely because Dontnod didn’t know how to implement them without the rewind power so they just…didn’t even attempt to add any. The power itself, telekinesis, is also much less interesting compared to rewinding time, according to a lot of people.

SO YEAH that’s basically it for me. I know this probably came off a bit rambly/incoherent but I tried my best to be as clear as I possibly could. I don’t doubt there are other reasons at play as to why LiS2 failed to meet LiS1’s success (such as liscensed music not being quite as good as LiS1) but I think I hit the main points I believe were key reasons. And the thing is, there isn’t just one main reason why LiS2 didn’t do as well as LiS1. It’s overall very unfortunate so many things went wrong with it that ended up making people lose interest in it. I think the lack of Max and Chloe hurt the game the most right off the bat, but the other reasons just led it to do even worse. Oh well.

I hope any of the people who read this enjoyed it (it was a BITCH to write). I’ve been wanting to get my thoughts down about this for SO long but just never had the motivation/time but I finally did it!

Again, thanks for reading! If you have any disagreements or just thoughts in general don’t be afraid to reply or dm me about it and I’ll be sure to reply! Now back to reblogging Marco posts….

[goldandbluesmiles]

Protective

Summary: Bruce is protective Alpha, especially when it comes to his children.

Notes: Some discriminatory language.

Ao3

XXX

The gala was in full swing when Jason spotted the baby bat. He nudged Tim who was beside him, shoving a pastry in his mouth.

"Hey, Timmy," he said to the younger boy, "What do you think's happenin' over there?"

Tim followed his gaze, took in Damian's rigid posture, the cruel smirks on the two boys that looked his age, and the weirdly smug glee on a boy who looked about ten.

"Doesn't look too good," said Tim

"Nope," said Jason, "Should we...?"

"Any other time, I would have just let him deal with it but this is the Martha Wayne Foundation Gala,"

It was the one gala that they attended no matter what. All anger, fights and problems were put aside to come to help support their dad on his mother's birthday. There was also an unofficial rule among the bat kids that no one would cause any havoc during the gala and they would intervene if they saw something brewing.

And by the scowl on Damian's face, something was definitely brewing. The young Omega looked seconds away from punching someone.

"Yeah, let's go," said Jason

Both Alphas weaved their way through the crowd toward their younger brother. As they got closer, Jason started to hear what the other boys were saying and it made his blood boil in anger.

"Go back...'" "Your kind-" "Tainted,"

Jason was ready to march over and teach the little brats a lesson when he noticed another body moving toward the youngest Wayne.

Apparently Bruce Wayne had noticed his youngest son's plight because of course, he had. And it was good because this place did not need Jason to go around shaking little kids, no matter how much they deserved it. Bruce would handle this much better.

"Well, hello there young gentlemen," he said in a pleasant tone, the cold fury in his eyes only visible to people that really knew him.

From across the room, Jason saw Dick start to make his way to them. Cass and Steph had also detangled themselves from the dance floor. Duke was already standing at his left. Everyone else ignored their little gathering. If there was one thing the Waynes were good at, it was blending.

"Hello Mr. Wayne," said one of the older boys, looking just a little scared. Good.

"And your names," asked Bruce.

"I'm William," said the older redhead and then pointed to the younger boy, "This is my brother, Harris,"

"William and Harris," said Bruce, "The Livingston boys,"

"Yes, sir,"

"And you, son?" said Bruce, making Damian tense. He relaxed once Bruce moved his hand to his shoulder.

"Jared Lucky, Mr. Wayne,"

"Alright, Jared," said Bruce, tone still biting, "I'm guessing all your parents are here tonight?"

The boys nodded.

"Okay, here's what we're going to do," said Bruce, "Jared and Harris are going to stand right here. William, you are going to go get both your parents and bring them here,"

The little brat nodded and quickly took off.

"Father?" murmured Damian, looking up at him with a questioning look. Jason took a quick look at his siblings and saw that all of them, except Dick, looking varying degrees of confused. Even Cass.

Taking in their reactions, Jason realized that none of them had ever seen Bruce in his protective Alpha mode before. Sure they had all seen Batman but not Bruce.

Jason had been the target of many cruel taunts once when he had joined Gotham's 'high' society. And he knew from stories that while Dick had charmed everybody with his personality and smile, that had still been whispers of gypsy and uncivilized. Bruce had shut all of them down with a vicious look and cruel smile. The rest of them had probably never needed it. Tim was a born elite. No one would ever say anything about Cass. Stephanie held her head high and dared anyone to come close enough to speak. Duke was relatively new.

None of them had seen Papa Bruce protecting his pups, which meant that they were in a for a treat tonight.

Damian was still waiting for an answer when two couple showed up with a flustered looking William. The red-headed woman instantly took her boys in her arms, glaring at Bruce. The Luckys just looked really confused.

"Bruce," said Mr. Lucky, "What is going on here? Did the boys get into a scuffle or something?"

"Or something," said Bruce, "Boys, why don't you repeat for your parents what you were saying to Damian here,"

"But-"

"Repeat it," this time the words came out sharper, making a few heads turn their way. Jason sent them a few glares, making them turn right back around.

"Boys," said Mrs. Lucky, "Explain yourselves,"

William and Jared quietly repeated the things that had been said, making Jason tremble with anger. Around him, the rest of his family was in similar states.

Worst of all was Damian, head bowed with shame as if he was the one who had done something wrong.

God, these boys were lucky Jason had a little more control now. Otherwise, they would be getting good talking to at the least.

"God, Bruce," said Mr. Lucky, "I am so sorry. We will definitely be talking to Jared once we get home,"

"This is our fault," said Mrs. Lucky, "He said he wanted to experience boarding at Gotham Academy and we figured it wouldn't be a problem. I have to admit, since then we haven't really monitored the content he takes in,"

"Which will be fixed," said Mr. Lucky, "You have my word, Bruce,"

"I would hope so, Sean," said Bruce

That started a whole other round of apologies and promises. Jason looked at them carefully, looking for any indication that these people were insincere or were talking out of their ass to keep Bruce happy. He found nothing. Thye seemed to mean it.

The Livingstons were another story though. The guy was impassive, wearing his businessman's face while his wife was openly glaring at them.

Once the Luckys finally stopped, Bruce turned toward the other couple.

"And what about Mr. and Mrs. Livingston," said Bruce, "Anything to say about your boys' behaviour?"

The guys cleared his throat but the lady beat him to it.

"I don't see the problem with my boys expressing themselves," she said, tone haughty

God, what a bitch.

"Excuse me," said Bruce, "Expressing themselves? There is expressing yourself and then there is discriminatory language, not to mention verbal assault,"

"Now. Now, Bruce," said the man, "Don't you think you're overreacting a bit?"

The complete and utter fury on Bruce's face was a thing to behold. The Lucky family took a step back and the two brothers looked ready to piss themselves. Even Mr. Lviningston looked like he was regretting his decision to be here.

The only one still glaring was Mrs. Livingston or as Jason would call her from now, She-devil.

"Overreacting? Overreacting?" hissed Bruce, "Your sons used derogatory language to talk to mine and you think I'm overreacting,"

"Some terms fit," said the She-devil, "Especially for a...brood like yours,"

Bruce tightened his hold on Damian's shoulder and took a step forward, "Listen here, Susan,"

"Sasha," she muttered

"Susan, Sasha, fucking Sally," said Bruce, "I don't care! The only reason, the only reason I am not making a goddamn sacrificial spectacle of you in front of this whole room is that it has become obvious to me that these boys have some very poor role models, and given their age, should be given a chance to rectify their mistakes and humiliating them in front of a room full of people will not do that,"

"Because let's be honest here, with today's school curriculum and resources available it is obvious where these boys learned language like this. I would hate to think what you would say to my son -to my children- given the opportunity to be honest without consequences,"

Both boys were now looking at their parents with confused eyes.

"Now, do me a favour and leave this place,"

Sasha went to say something else but Harris tugged at her dress, "Mom let's go,"

"Don't talk out of line, Harris,"

The boy flinched. Beside him, Jason felt Tim tense. He as starting to hate this woman more by the second.

"We will take our leave," said Mr. Livingston

"Please do," said Bruce, tone rivalling the Arctic winds, "And consider yourselves disinvited from any event that has even a small part of the Waynes in it,"

That was basically 99.9% of Gotham City.

The family four left, quickly being swallowed up by the crowd.

"Well, no more sleepovers at their house," muttered Sean, and then turned toward Bruce, "You know some of us to send our boys to the dormitories despite living in the city. William and Jared roomed together and when Jared started having sleepovers with them, Carrie and I were happy. He gets lonely at home, you know. Obviously we didn't realize the differences in values, we'll definitely make sure to talk to Jared,"

"We're so sorry, Damian," said Carrie, lowering herself a little so she could look him in the eye, "You didn't deserve that,"

Damian nodded.

"I'm also going to look into the Livingstons a little more closely," said Sean, "There was something not right about the way Sasha spoke to her youngest,"

"Hmm," said Bruce, "I think we've all had enough excitement for the night,"

The Luckys obviously saw the dismissal and left without saying much more.

As soon as they were gone, Bruce led them to the back balcony, rarely used by anyone and completely deserted. Once they were there, he picked up Damian and held him close, gently cooing at him and scenting him.

It was proof of how emotionally taxing the whole thing had been that Damina didn't even fight it a little, just melted into his father's arms.

"Listen to me, Damian," said Bruce, gently stroking his hair, "Nobody gets to talk to you like that, nobody,"

Damian nodded against Bruce's shoulder.

"Nobody gets to talk to anyone of you like that," said Bruce, looking at each one of them in the eye. They all nodded too.

"Now I have to stay here for the speeches but you are all welcome to go back in," said Bruce, "Damian, do you want to go with Dick?"

"Yes, Father," mumbled Damian

Dick gently took their brother and held him close, similar to how Bruce had been holding him.

"Let's go, guys," said Dick

"I should be inside in an hour," said Bruce

They all nodded at him and quickly made their way to the exit. Jason thanked whatever deity was out there, that the Gala was always held in the manor. They all gathered just outside the door and for a second just looked at each other.

Stephanie was the first to crack, a few chuckles escaping her. Cass smiled next and Tim let out a giggle. Them suddenly they were all laughing, except for Damian who had a sleepy smile on his face.

"Holy shit," said Stephanie, "Holy shit. Forget Batman. Bruce Wayne is fucking terrifying,"

"Did you see the guy's face?" said Duke

"Susan can go die though," said Stephanie

"Sasha," said Tim, copying her haughty tone

"Susan, Sasha, fucking Sally," said Jason and they burst into laughter again.

"God, I've never seen him like that," said Tim as they started to make their way into the family room.

"He used to do it a lot when we were kids," said Dick, gesturing to Jason, "And it surprised people a lot more then. He's changed his public act a lot over the years but back then- imagine twenty-two years old Brucie Wayne, playboy extraordinaire instantly switching to Bruce Wayne, Protective Alpha dad. It was amazing to watch,"

"Yeah," said Jason, getting a little lost in his memories, "I remember this one time he told someone and, I quote, "this boy has more class in his pinky finger than you have in your whole body, Jennifer,"

"Jennifer?" asked Tim

"Her actual name was Jenna,"

Duke snorted, "Of course it was,"

"Guys shhh," said Dick out of nowhere

"What," whispered Stephanie

"I think he's asleep,"

Jason looked at Damian a little closely and sure enough, the little boy was curled up in Dick's lap, fast asleep.

"Aww," said Cass, "Poor little brother,"

"Yeah," said Steph, "All jokes aside, he really doesn't deserve that shit,"

"Good thing we got Bruce, right?" said Duke, looking at them

"Right," Jason found himself saying. His siblings gave him weird looks but he just smiled. Just because Red Hood and Batman didn't agree on some things didn't mean Jason had forgotten what it had felt like to have Bruce's protection, to be held close like he was something precious.

It was really something.

Slowly they all started to make their way out of the room and upstairs to change. Jason went with Dick to help put Damian to bed without waking him up. Once they were done, Dick gave him a quick pat on the back and headed toward his room. Jason went to the room he stayed in when he was at the manor and changed quickly. Instead of going to bed, he headed down to the kitchen and waited. Half an hour later, Bruce walked in, already having changed into sweats and a t-shirt.

"Oh, hey Jason," said Bruce, "What are you still doing up?"

Jason started to think of a lie but then decided against it.

"Waiting for you,"

Bruce smiled, "Come on,"

Together they took out some leftover cake from the fridge and headed toward the sitting room. Bruce took a seat at the love seat and Jason joined him.

"Any particular reason you were waiting for me?"

"Feeling nostalgic, I guess," said Jason, "We used to sit here whenever we came back from a shitty gala or event,"

"I remember. You would wait for me in the kitchen and then we would get whatever we could find from the fridge and eat in here,"

"Yeah," said Jason, "It always felt great, you know. Having you in my corner. I'm glad that other kids get it too now,"

"Jason," said Bruce, putting his plate down, "You still have it. I know we're not the most conventional pack but I am this pack's Alpha and you are a part of it. As such you will always have me in your corner. Even if you don't like thinking of me as your father, I am you Alpha,"

Jason opened his mouth to say something but nothing came out. Instead, he just lowered his gaze, a sudden pressure building behind his eyes.

Jesus, he would never get over how small Bruce could make him feel.

"Oh, Jaybird," murmured Bruce, taking away his plate and pulling him into his arms, "My little pup,"

"Not a pup," he sniffed, tucking his face close to Bruce's neck and breathing in his scent of burnt cinnamon mixed with sage.

"Still my pup," said Bruce, "And I'm sorry,"

"For what?"

"Forever letting you think you didn't have me in the same capacity as you used to. I should have made it clear as soon as we agreed to clear the air. You always had me, Jaylad,"

Jason smiled and curled closer, "Love you, Dad,"

He felt Bruce's smile at his temple.

"I love you too, Jay,"

[fasa-umich]

Bea Fandiño, FASA 2020-21 Co-President

One Last Time

We’re gonna teach them how to say goodbye...

3/19/2021

Wowee, what a whirlwind of a year. These past twelve months have been filled with so much to be proud of—I even started a list of “Proud Mom Moments” last May so I could document all the small triumphs worth recognizing. It’s as if I’ve been planning out this testimonial since my election into the Co-Presidency, so I only laugh as I try to put all these thoughts to paper the day after my testimonial was supposed to be done (sorry ading Janielle—Filipino time, am I right?).

“Pick up a pen, start writing.”

I want to start off by saying that this year was not easy. It wasn’t for anyone. Our board came into our tenure hitting the ground running, full of visions and concrete plans for FASA, only to have them thwarted time and time again by circumstances out of our control. Let it be known that if this was a normal year, our board would have absolutely crushed it. x1000.

But it wasn’t a normal year. And you know what? We still crushed it. We changed the game. And while it can be so easy to focus on what could have been, doing so would distract us from celebrating everything that was.

This was the mentality Izzy and I pushed at the onset of the summer. Yes, FASA has traditions. There are certain aspects of our programs that everybody loves and expects to see each semester. But FASA is also dynamic. Every year, boardies are challenged with finding the balance of upholding tradition while trying new things and pushing the boundaries. And with the nature of this year, there was no better time to challenge ourselves to do the latter. Because we wanted to do more than just “survive”—we were ready to reach new heights.

Pinay Power looking fire as hell

So what exactly was FASA this year? If I had to choose one word, it’s resilient. Bouncing back after each hurdle, our boardies refused to give up on this org; as did our members, who stayed with us through it all. PCN can’t happen in person? Cool, let’s turn it into a frickin’ MOVIE. Can’t have big group gatherings? Okay, let’s leverage our FAM’s to build stronger small-group bonds. Can’t travel to external orgs? No big deal, let’s organize virtual discussions with our Michigan Philippine Student Associations and our fellow Latinx friends on campus. Even in the face of adversity, FASA resiliently remained rooted in culture, tied together in family, and strengthened by our dedication to the community.

Pop quiz: What are the three ~pillars~ of FASA?

None of this could have been accomplished without the perseverance of our board. Without Janielle’s commitment to high quality. Sean’s willingness to ask important questions. Josh’s contagious, positive energy. Kris’s flexibility and open mindedness. Christine’s constant, uplifting support. Lauren’s willingness to step up for anyone and everyone. Angelina’s dedication to collaboration. Jason’s careful consideration for vision and purpose. Jolene’s innovative ideas. Estelle’s passion for navigating cultural discussion. Kate’s constant communication and initiative. Sam’s critical eye when we’re overthinking things. Kaitlyn’s honesty with what she believes is best. Izzy’s never-ending drive to make sure each person feels heard and supported. To my boardie family, you are an absolute inspiration. Your work ethic is unmatched, your care invaluable, and your determination a force to be reckoned with. It has been a true honor to work with you, to learn from you, and to be your friend.

“And I know we weren’t perfect, but I’ve never felt this way for no one.”

When people ask me what my favorite aspect of the Co-Presidency is, I actually find a strong parallel with my past experience as Performance Chair. In performance, you get to see people grow throughout the year, building up unique confidence and boldness through cultural expression. As Co-President, I had the honor of seeing that growth extended as I watched those same individuals rise as leaders and come to own their position in FASA. Through the trials and successes, to be granted a front-row seat in that journey is a privilege, and I thank each of my boardies for letting Izzy and me join along for the ride. We definitely took a more hands-on approach this year (hopefully you didn’t get too sick of us, lol), and with that, an even deeper understanding of the efforts and motivations of the people who make it all happen. And being challenged to make the tough calls, actively listen to what people have to say, take action to move forward, and use my voice to stand up for what I believe in, I learned just as much from my boardies as they (hopefully) did from me. Even as Co-President, there is always more FASA and Filipino culture to explore, as well as more to learn from those around you.

“I wanna talk about what I have learned, the hard-won wisdom I have earned.” -Boomers

On that note, FASA would not be standing so tall—well, as tall as a Filipino can be—today if it weren’t for our general members. To my first years: Your energy is what kept FASA fueled this entire year. To my sophomores: Thank you for sticking with us, engaging with our programs, and keeping FASA a part of your life. To my alpha dings juniors: Literally, I can’t imagine life without you. To my grad student population of ~2 (and growing!!): You are history in the making! Keep the momentum going! And to my seniors: I’ll save the sappy goodbyes for when you leave my life forever in a month (mom and dad, I already know I’m gonna cry and you’d best believe I’m bringing you down with me). But in all seriousness, your constant support over the years has shaped FASA into the community we know and love.

Like I said before, FASA is dynamic. It’s ever-changing. But even if the FASA 10 years from now is different from the FASA we know today, the impact we have made on each other’s personal and cultural journeys remains true. That’s the beauty of this family—stripping away the official title and positions, at the end of the day, we’re all just defining our own Filipino American experience together. And though FASA will continue to change, that personal impact is something that will stand the test of time.

“No matter where life takes us, nothing can break us apart...I just wanna be with you.”

Okay yeah yeah, I know I’m a sap, just let me be Feelings Chair for once. Before I wrap things up, there are a few people I want to acknowledge:

Mai-Ly and Elisa: X FAM BEST FAM!! Seriously, you should be incredibly proud of yourselves as FAM Heads. X FAM broke records this year, and I could not be more happy with the top-tier music videos, hella extra [exclusive] merch (other fams be jealous), COASTERS (lol), and overall stronger fam. Thank you for putting up with my sometimes overly Type A agendas and being so flexible amidst the craziness.

Kris and Josh: Long! Live! FASA! Performance! You guys were faced with a lot of difficulties this year. But in the end, you kept performance not only alive, but also fun and something members looked forward to, whether virtually or in-person. I am so incredibly proud of you and honored to have been your dancer :).

Izzy: The Isa to my Bella, the Pierogies to my Beaf. Thank you for being the absolute best co I could possibly ask for and the most amazing friend in the world. You challenged me to keep the big picture in mind and were integral in helping all of us (especially me) balance hard work and fun. As someone easily caught up in the grind and instinctively expecting others to be the same, you kept me in check and indirectly reminded me to take a breather and make sure board was enjoying what they were doing. I will forever have a love-hate relationship with our three- to six-hour calls, and you will always have a spot in my GCal for a Thursday night meeting-turned-dinner-turned-therapy session. It baffles me to think that we weren’t that close before 12 months ago. Thank you for being not only my inspiration as a leader but also my constant as a friend.

Team Isabella 4 Life

So where do we go from here? Admittedly, we couldn’t do everything we wanted to do this year. Izzy and I had a vision for FASA, and it can get discouraging when you’re not able to see your vision through. But at the end of the day, we had to accept that we might not be able to reach the end-goal. If the best we could do right now was focus on the present, make the most for our current membership, and set FASA up for future success, then we were gonna give that our all. And if the INCREDIBLE drive and work ethic of our Interns is an indicator of anything, I have full confidence in the passion, leadership, and people that will continue to join our organization and further its growth. FASA is in good hands—I can’t wait to see where it goes next.

“Your position is so unique.” “So I’ll use it to move them along.”

Looking back on why I ran for board in the first place my freshman year, I remember wanting so desperately to be able to give back to an organization that had given me so much. Thank you, FASA, for giving me the opportunity to do just that. Whether as a general member or Performance Chair or Co-President, I hope I’ve been able to create that safe space that makes FASA feel like home. I said it last year, but I will say it again—FASA, thank you for trusting me. It’s been an honor growing with you.

Mahal na mahal kita,

Bea Fandiño, FASA Co-President

[youngboy-oldmind]

DISCOGRAPHY REVIEW: 1) THE INCREDIBLE TRUE STORY ft. My Girlfriend

“Tell me what I wouldn't wanna give for a life like this, arm and a leg quite like this/ Fuck around wanna fight like this, take a hike like this/ I might just, might just, I don't know/ Reinvention, that's my intention/ Want so much more than this third-dimension/ That's not to mention my true ascension is a bigger picture/ No metaphor, I’m being real with ya”

Overall Thoughts

After the success and impressive display Under Pressure, Logic follows up with his sophomore album The Incredible True Story: A perfect embodiment of Logic as a person, rapper, and artist. Here, he is at his most creative, telling an entire story through the lens of a futuristic fictional sci-fi story. Filled with narratives, skits that give insight to the crew’s personalities, and an overall message that resonates even after the album concludes, The Incredible True Story is the perfect reflection of Logic as an artist.

If someone asked me to introduce them to Logic, I’d start with this album. If you start with a deeper, more experimental album like Everybody or a project not quite as unique like Under Pressure, they may be left unsatisfied or unimpressed. But it’s near impossible to dislike his most rounded and well-constructed project.

I’ve said this with every project of his, but the production was excellent. The techy, spacey instrumentals perfectly parallel the theme and tone of the project. The vocal inflections on “Fade Away”, “Young Jesus”, “Run It” and the choir in the first half of “City of Stars” were all brilliantly executed. Also, Logic allowed collaborations on some tracks and they were some of the highlights on the album: Big Lenbo on “Young Jesus”, Lucy Rose on “Innermission”, and Jesse Boykins III on “Paradise”. Overall, the construction of each song on this album was near perfect. It can’t be overstated.

Logic branched out stylistically on this project. On Under Pressure, each song had a relatively similar tone, which made that project very consistent yet unspectacular. The fixed tone was good for the purpose of that project but restricted him from reaching a high peak. Here, his delivery, instrumentals, and lyrical style varied and was less consistent, allowing him to reach highs like “Fade Away” and “City of Stars” while also allowing him to reach lows like “I Am The Greatest”. Despite that flaw, the unique style of the album improves its overall ranking and separates him from the issue of his last project; the issue of being indistinct and being a carbon copy of his influences. 

That’s one of the biggest strengths of this album. While I can think of other artists that could do Under Pressure or No Pressure, I don’t think anyone can do The Incredible True Story. Logic has a niche combination of lyrical talent, production skills, and geekiness that shines profusely. 

The main theme of this project is doing what you love and finding life. This theme paired the fictional nature of the album’s structure loosens the restraint on Logic. Before, he was limited by discussing his experiences and thoughts in an autobiographical way, whereas now he’s allowed to discuss things from an outside perspective and speak more prophetically.

Album Breakdown

Side Note: I will be adding comments and thoughts from my girlfriend who also loves this album. Her comments will be bolded.

1. Contact

This was extremely creative. I was instantly drawn into the music. Sounded like a soundtrack I'd hear in a movie. And the introductory conversation between the two men established a very interesting and compelling start to the album and makes it feel like I'm getting ready to start a story book. Solid start, can't wait to see what happens.

2. Fade Away

Off the rip, this track had me excited. As I mentioned earlier, the composition and instrumental is excellent. He also comes through with an intense flex of delivery and rhyming and syllable scheme construction. This is the first song I’ve ever heard from Logic and it still gets my hype every time I hear it.

The flow in this song just hit me like a truck. The lyrics were pretty good and not necessarily a brag, but more of a showcase of pride. The music was also very catchy and had my bobbing my head before he started rapping. But the flow! Absolutely loved it. Def a hype song for me.

3. Upgrade

This track transitions well from the previous song discussing kai upgrading his system. Logic discusses “upgrading” from his old life and mindset. The space background with a simple drum pattern is satisfying.

Loved how the intro music played off of the space theme established by the intro. The music was already banging, and the countdown had me anticipating what's to come. Liked how the lyrics also incorporated space elements. Somewhat simple song with somewhat basic lyrics, but overall still quite enjoyable.

4. White People (Scene)

This was super fun to listen to and I was laughing when the black guy made fun of the white-man-horror-movie stereotype. I was almost wishing for them to investigate. I am really liking this album so far. Who knew Logic was such a innovative storyteller.

5. Like Woah

Although this song doesn’t say much content wise, the vocals were pretty slick and the instrumental was constructed well. Verses were average and I found the chorus a little iffy. But overall, it’s one of the more mid tracks.

The others definitely fit the theme of the space, but this song felt more of a Top 100 hits song. The flow was not as stellar as the songs so far, definitely no Fade Away, but still steady and impressive nonetheless. Nerdy comment, but the music reminded me of something I'd hear in a video game with the female singing--maybe Zelda or Fire Emblem.

6. Young Jesus

Although this song isn’t in my top 3, it’s still one of my favorite on the album. The boom bap 90s throwback mixes well with the modern, techy sound of the album. Logic and Big Lenbo both flow perfectly; this some of the best chemistry Logic has had with another rapper, the only other contender being Big Sean. Instrumentally this song stands out the most because its composition derives so much from the rest of the track list.

This throwback to the 90s flow with a slight modern twist was fresh as hell and a very fun listen. I actually very much enjoyed Logic's flow in this song. "See I'm a self diagnosed hypochrondria/ Either at the crib, or on the tour bus, is where you'll find me at" was a fun, funky flow that had me smiling as I listened to it. Would have definitely enjoyed if he did this flow and slight drawl in words a bit more. Big Lenbo was perfect for this song. His voice has that 90s feel and his lyrics fit the bragging feel seen in old hip hop songs.

7. Innermission

Another top track on this project, “Innermission” features Logic discussing his life’s purpose and “inner mission”. Lucy Rose on the chorus is beautiful. The mellow beat allows Logic to truly dive into his thoughts without being overwhelmed by the instrumental. And I loved the skit at the end.

Not gonna lie, the music initially reminds me of elevator music, but the lyrics hit hard. Hearing his story of his home life and his friend in prison was...heartfelt? It made me introspective of my role in my friend's lives and my own background. This song has a nostalgia to it as Logic retrospects his life before reaching fame, yet an almost hopeful undertone as he contemplates why he wanted this lifestyle and how he managed to actually accomplish it. And, of course, ending the song with a child continuing the space them fully establishes the air of wistfulness as I hear the kid's innocent tone reminiscing about his home. Genius move.

8. I Am The Greatest

There are few songs that make me rush to the skip button. “I Am The Greatest” is one of them. I hate this song. The different voice clips have no rhythm or syncopation, seemingly haphazardly tossed together. The beat is underwhelming and the yelling is obnoxious. And logics lyrics and delivery are really bad. I strongly believe this should’ve been cut or put on a project like Bobby Tarantino.

9. The Cube (Scene)

As someone who can rap and solve a Rubiks cube, I found this very funny. But also ironic, since I pulled exactly 0 girls from solving it. But, Logic is a nerd and this skit fits his personality well.

So this didn't make much sense until I looked up "logic the cube" and saw some videos of him solving a Rubik’s cube. Cute that he inserted a past time into this.

10. Lord Willin’

Logic has a very distinct flow throughout this album. It's very similar in each song with similar rhythm--I find myself bobbing my head at the same speed as his other songs. Not a bad thing, but just an interesting note. I actually quite like it, though. It makes the songs in this album more harmonious and makes it feel like one long story, rather than several songs thrown together onto one album. The lyrics themselves were actually quite inspirational. I felt a sense of pride in myself swell as I listened to him overcoming and living a full life and encouraging me to do the same. 

11. City of Stars

Arguably one of the best on the album, “City of Stars” features Logic discusses his negative/toxic relationship with the hip hop industry. The spacey beat and echoey chorus vocals area AWESOME. The echo on the snare paints a visual of singing in a wide open space. Logic’s singing is above average, his use of auto-tune isn’t bad either. The beat switch to an intense boom bap and going in sent shivers down my spine. Although this has been done before, its definitely an excellently put together concept.

Also, only hip hop fans will notice but Logic incorporates patterns and lyrics from other songs: Drake’s “Forever”, Kanye West’s “Last Call” & “Two Words” of The College Dropout, and Talib Kewli’s “Get By”. Logic isn’t one to shy away from nodding to his influences, but here it feels like paying homage instead of stealing. Top 3 track.

12. Stainless

This song is 100% dope. From the vocals on the chorus, complex background in the instrumental, Logic’s intense flow and delivery, along with the content. Another top 3 on the album.

Bruuuh, this song slapped from the moment it started. The music had a flow different from the other songs, and his energy from the first few lyrics was solid as hell. I was hype and smiling not even 20 seconds in. This is a riding-with-the-windows-down-with-the-volume-blarring-on-the-highway-as-you-flaunt-your-youth-and-just-jam-hard kind of song. I would have def played this before a basketball game to get myself hype.

13. Babel (Scene)

“Babel” was the best skit by far. I think this plays well into the theme of the album: The concept of doing what you love and finding life. This skit mentions how “paradise” may not be something you find, but something you make and maintain. And on the flip side, you can also turn paradise into “purgatory”. So this journey is about creating the best and making your own incredible life instead of trying to find it. It also transitions well into the next song both musically and thematically.

14. Paradise

This was an interesting song. When he described Paradise initially, he spoke of it as a land of racial equality. I had not expected race to play a major role in this story, but it makes sense, given his background, why he would consider this Paradise. As a fellow biracial person born without a silver spoon, I can relate to his struggle. So hearing him describe this planet called Paradise, I can see why it earned that name. But the beat change. I find it interesting that he switched the message behind his lyrics up. It changed to perseverance and strength to overcome haters and obstacles and doubt. It gives me this feeling of self-worth as I push through the negativity to achieve Paradise. Interesting that he decided to include this message after describing what Paradise looks like. Did he do this to highlight the struggle it would take to get there? The challenge? Saying how "Of those around me that down and pray on my demise/But it only makes it that much better when I rise" definitely encapsulates his ability to attain Paradise. I'm not sure, maybe he did so as proof that he finally reached the top.

15. Never Been

Years ago, I used to be a hater of Logic. I used to despise when people complimented or praised him. So this song about remaining positive and persevering while blocking out negative hits even harder. He battles with fears of being inadequate while projecting a message of not letting those fears control your life and potential success. Amazing message. Musically, the track is very solid. The sped up, high pitched vocals on the chorus and outro remind me of Kanye’s style, and the simple beat isn’t distracting emphasizes the introspective nature of the song.

"Talk all you want about me homie, I'mma let it live/Hater this, hater that, say I sound repetitive/ Hatin' in your blood, you was born to be negative" now THAT is how you diss someone. If someone said this to me, I'd just walk away because what do you say to that? I appreciate that he is able to both dis and praise in a song, yet not come off as cocky and arrogant and braggy. Listening to him, it truly sounds like he worked his ass off to achieve his fame, so hearing him brush off haters and telling me I can do it too actually makes me feel like he's right. This songs has an introspective vibe as he recounts his insecurities of failing, yet how he can't afford to "let the devil in."

16. Run It

“Run It” is another very good track on the album. The flow and beat were dope and simple yet effective and pleasing. I think this song’s placement was strange. After hard hitters like “Stainless”, “Paradise”, and “Never Been”, “Run it” feels underwhelming by comparison. I could see this after between “Like Woah” and the White People Skit. But this late into the album, this song’s tone sit right. Ultimately a great song though.

17. Lucidity

“Lucidity” gives good insight on the theme of the album. Thomas describes taking for granted people on Earth having dreams and wants instead of living to find paradise. I like the concept of one’s life and story being defined by pursuing what you want. Mostly a set up for the final song, it’s still a solid scene.

18. The Incredible True Story

This track can be defined by one word: epic. From the first half with Logic’s vocals and singing, encapsulating the whole question in this album “Who Am I?”. The instrumentation is beautiful. Then the second half with the crew landing on Paradise is so powerful and well constructed. As a listener, I feel like I’m there with the crew. You can feel everyone’s fear, nervousness, excitement, anticipation, and hope.

What. An. Ending. I had no idea how Logic was going to end this and he did not disappoint. His lyrics in the beginning. The sub-sequential inspirational message of following your desires. The 2 men as they get ready to land on Paradise. All of that was flawless. My favorite part was the music change as the female finished her countdown of the landing and it changed to this soft, exploring sound full of hope. Hearing the 2 men talk in wonder as the sounds of nature slowly encompassed the music before hearing the woman say "Life" literally made me so fucking emotional, I'm tearing up thinking about it.

Final Thoughts

The Incredible True Story is the embodiment of Logic as an artist. It is strengthened by being unsafe. Under Pressure felt like bowling with the rails up. You’re definitely gonna score, and you may hit a strike on your own, but it’s just not as good as bowling without safety rails. And yes, you may hit gutters (”I Am The Greatest”), but putting everything on the table and living/creating unrestrictedly allows you to reach highs in life/art you wouldn’t otherwise reach. And I think by allowing himself to create riskily and unhindered, he fulfilled his own theme.

As an avid bibliophile, I will tell you that most sequels are shit. But damn, this album was fucking amazing. I have been sleeping on Logic. Honestly, 12/10 ending. Logic wanted to leave a statement that he could still be one of the best even after his debut album and, trust me, he proved it. This ending alone proved that he knows how to do this shit. I feel like I just finished reading a great book. Who knew rap could be like this?

Top 3 Tracks:

1) City of Stars                      1) Stainless

2) Paradise                            2) Paradise

3) Innermission                      3) Incredible True Story

Overall Grade: A+

Album Link:

https://open.spotify.com/album/5dOpbgAmJeyoakKQ0QLWkR?si=bAQ0FEA4RMupkUEspycH1Q

[johannesviii]

Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2006

17 to 18 years old. First to second university year, studying History. Another slightly chaotic year, to be honest.

It’s yet another great year for hits, even if 2005 and 2007 are both even better.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

At this point it was beginning to be clear that my mother wanted me out of the appartment as quickly as possible so staying at home was becoming more and more unpleasant. I basically spent most of my day outside or at the library when I wasn’t in class, then ate dinner and slept at home. I had a few friends at university but was very unpopular (by the start of the second year, my nickname was “the hobo”, mostly because I was always wearing the same old black coat and bad jeans, but also because I liked to fish for coins under vending machines cause I had next to no money). I also had a brief but extremely bad relationship that year, which ended with me punching the dude back after he punched me between two classes near the end of the year.

While making these lists I found a tape labelled “spring 2006″ and nothing else. I think it’s one of the last tapes I ever made.

After listening to it, it contained:

Mr Brightside (The Killers) (who’s surprised?)

Crazy, by Seal, but sung by a woman. No idea who that is. (Edit: Alanis Morissette! thank you purplecyborgnewt)

Alice & June (Indochine)

You And Me (Lifehouse)

A couple of seconds of Precious, Depeche Mode

Oui (Zazie)

Precious (Depeche Mode) again. A radio host states it’s the n°15 favorite song on Europe 2 that week, whichever week that was.

City of Blinding Lights (U2)

Nolwenn Ohwo (Nolwenn Leroy)

Fragment of Song to Say Goodbye (Placebo), then the entire song.

The ending of Talk (Coldplay), followed by another fragment of Talk

Juste Après (Fredericks, Goldman & Jones)

Talk (Coldplay), this time in its entirety (I can still smell the frustration more than 13 years away)

Broken (Seether)

Enjoy the Silence 2004 (Depeche Mode)

Fragment of Missing (Evanescence), followed by nearly the entire song

Jeune et Con (Saez)

A bit of a radio show I found funny

An obscure remix of Sans Contrefaçon (Mylène Farmer).

So yeah, I stopped making tapes around that time. I also only bought two cd singles that year.

Just like the previous year, some of my favorite albums from that year have exactly zero singles elligible for this list. They are Alice & June by Indochine, and Meds by Placebo. The worst part? One of the best songs on Indochine’s album is a goddamn duet with Brian Molko from Placebo. It’s called Pink Water and it’s great. Please listen to it if you don’t know it yet. What can I say, I’m a weak and simple person, I hear a duet between two singers I adore, and I die instantly.

Anyway. Meds is kind of underrated as far as Placebo’s discography goes and I’m especially fond of Infrared, which was one of the songs of the year for me. Indochine’s Alice & June, meanwhile, is a concept double album about two girls making a suicide pact. It’s a bit of a mess and it’s not as tight as Paradize was but it’s still really, really good for the most part. The first eponymous single should have been elligible. But it isn’t. I’m sad.

On to the honorable mentions!

So Sick (Ne-Yo) - Usually this kind of music just sounds bland to me, but that one was really pleasant.

Miracle (Cascada) - Not as good as Everytime we touch. Still a lot of fun.

Smack That (Akon) - This shouldn’t be this catchy.

Pump It (Black Eyed Peas) - Same here.

Living On Video (Pakito) - I only just now realised this was a cover. What the hell.

SOS (Rihanna) - Not her best song. Still good.

L’Amour N’est Rien (Mylène Farmer) - Really funny lyrics, meh song.

World Hold On (Bob Sinclar) - Stay tuned for more.

Hips Don’t Lie (Shakira) - Song of the summer, whether you liked it or not. Fortunately, I liked it a lot.

Chasing Cars (Snow Patrol) - Very pleasant.

SexyBack (Justin Timberlake) - That beat is just incredible.

Call Me When You’re Sober (Evanescence) - I remember Rock Mag finishing their KarmaCode (Lacuna Coil) review with “We hope Evanescence’s next album will be fantastic, because this is their most serious rival yet.” And nope, Evanescence’s album wasn’t nearly as good as KarmaCode. But this song still made the year-end list, while nothing from Lacuna Coil ever crossed over. Our Truth SHOULD have been a huge hit. It had a ton of crossover appeal. One of the biggest musical tragedies of the year right there. Oh well, the Evanescence single is still good though.

Say It Right (Nelly Furtado & Timbaland) - The last cut from the list, and when you’ll see what replaced it, you are going to hate me.

And now, the top ten.

10 - Everytime We Touch (Cascada)

US: #31 / FR: #5

This kicked Nelly Furtado off the list.

I am not sorry, just so you know.

9 - Ridin’ (Chamillionaire)

US: #8 / FR: Not on the list

This is a song about respecting the law and driving at a reasonable speed and cops being mad because they can’t do anything against you. He’s a gangster, just... not doing anything illegal at the moment. I absolutely adore that concept. This is the best.

8 - Crazy (Gnarls Barkley)

US: #7 / FR: #29

I’ve never met someone who disliked this song, and for that reason I have nothing to say about it. It’s just one of these tunes, like Hey Ya, which are too perfect to argue or say anything constructive about them.

7 - Temperature (Sean Paul)

US: #2 / FR: #48

Half of this top ten 10 is made of absolute bangers with untouchable beats and you know what, I really miss that time, mostly because the current charts are morose and depressed (for good reasons, but still). This is no Get Busy, but come on, who can say we need less Sean Paul in our lives? Not me that’s for sure.

By the way, one of the very first videos I saw on (the very new at the time) youtube was a misheard lyrics version of this song. I think you all know which one it is, the original has been deleted but it was reuploaded several times since then.

6 - Rock This Party (Bob Sinclar & Cutee B)

US: Not on the list / FR: #19

You really can’t go wrong with this “Everybody dance now” sample, and this is one seriously kickass song, and yet another banger on a list already full of them. Also, this was possibly the best music video of the entire year, featuring three kids trying to imitate music videos from just about every popular genre. Check it out if you’ve never seen it, it will make your day.

5 - Marly-Gomont (Kamini)

US: Not on the list / FR: #1

Possibly the most unexpected hit song of the decade in my country. Basically, this guy made a rap song about the tiny rural village he was living in, and a funny music video shot on a 100€ budget to show to his friends and family. And it was well written. And it was hilarious, while still being insightful. And it became a viral sensation. And it charted! And suddenly it became the biggest hit of the year.

If you’ve never heard it, here it is. There was no translation available for it on lyricstranslate, so I made an account just to translate it myself. You’re welcome. Please give it a try. It’s great. It was a hit for a good reason, and I promise you the music video is funny even if you don’t speak the language.

4 - Slipping Away/Crier la Vie (Mylène Farmer & Moby)

US: Not on the list / FR: #15

So, uh, earlier in this post I said “What can I say, I’m a weak and simple person, I hear a duet between two singers I adore, and I die instantly.”

This is a duet between Mylène Farmer and Moby, based on a song from Hotel, which, if you recall, I listened to on a loop the previous year.

My poor heart didn’t need this. What did I do to deserve this. What a blessing.

3 - Over My Head (Cablecar) (The Fray)

US: #13 / FR: Not on the list

This was my #1 at some point. Then I realised the version I kept listening to was a punk rock version by A Day To Remember from Punk Goes Pop, and that I had nearly forgotten what the original sounded like. So I listened to it, and it’s still very, very nice, but it’s not quite the same.

I still bought the album, though.

2 - Nolwenn Ohwo (Nolwenn Leroy)

US: Not on the list / FR: #43

I had completely (and I do mean completely) forgotten about this song until I started to check the French year-end top 100 to make this list. Erased from my mind entirely by some sort of MiB neuralyser. And I was like “hang on, wasn’t this a good song? This rings a bell. I used to love it, didn’t I?” (and sure enough, it’s on that 2006 tape I found). So I wrote it down for the honorable mentions, just in case.

Before making the definitive list, I put the song on, and I felt like the critic in Ratatouille having a flashback.

Holy. Shit.

I remembered ALL the lyrics. While listening to it, in under three minutes I successively put it in the 6th spot, then the 4th, and when it ended, it was #2 on the list. I downloaded it and put it back on my mp3 player and on my playlists. I’ve listened to it about 30 times in the past week. It’s so great. How did I ever forget this song existed. I feel so alive.

I never cared about this singer, but this is written by Laurent Voulzy, who’s music I actually love, and he’s firing on all cylinders here. Just listen to it. Please.

It could have easily topped the list if it wasn’t for the most useful and helpful song in the entire year.

1 - Pas le Temps (Faf Larage)

US: Not on the list / FR: #2

I never watched a single episode of Prison Break. This was the French version of the opening song. I don’t even know what happens in the series. I don’t really care.

I. Adore. This song. It’s yet another #1 that helped me a lot.

The beat is untouchable and this rap is actual poetry. Not even remotely kidding. Here’s a part of one of the verses.

Aussi loin que la lumière semble s'éteindre (As far as the light seems to flicker) Seule une étincelle au fond de moi peut l'atteindre (Only the spark hidden inside of me can reach it) (...) Les dés sont jetés, rien n'est joué (the dice is tossed, the game is set) Même le sort retient son souffle piégé dans ce sablier (even fate holds its breath, trapped in this hourglass) J'ai décidé de ne pas être prisonnier (I decided I wouldn’t be a prisoner) J'n'ai que ma vie à offrir si jamais j'échouais (I only have my life to offer if I ever fail) Pas le choix faut y'aller (No choice, let’s go)

The line “pas le choix, faut y aller” (no choice, let’s go) keeps being repeated in the entire song and it’s so, SO motivational. As I said before, 2006 was not as bad as 2003 but it was still a difficult year - at the end of it, I was an adult with no money, very little hope for the future, no diploma yet apart from the highschool one, still trying to NOT become a ball of anger because of a couple of assholes in class, all of this with dysphoria and a mother who wanted to kick me out as soon as possible. And I wanted to win, and punch the world, and say here I come, I’m alive, I survived, better watch out.

Si je dois exceller, tout donner, prendre c'que j'peux (If I need to be the best, give everything, take whatever I can) Si le monde m'appartient restez pas au milieu (If the world is mine, don’t stay in my way) Et si le sort est contre moi c'est tant pis (And if fate is against me, too bad) On fait des plans pour s'en sortir, écoute (We’re making plans to survive, listen) Pas le choix faut y'aller (No choice, let’s go)

This song defined the entire year for me. This was my fight song. Everytime I wanted to give up, it was there to give me a very simple reminder.

No choice. Let’s go.

Next up: here it is, at last, the absolute best hit song of the decade

[nei-noora]

Thoughts on Gilmore Girls

So I've recently watched all of Gilmore Girls. It was one of those shows that I used to watch on TV after school while doing my homework, so depending on the time I came home and the workload... Well I couldn't watch it everyday so it was one of those shows I had seen some episodes of but not all of them.

And lately I've been in that mood... That mood that makes me want to entirely watch shows I used to catch on TV after school but never fully saw from start to finish. So a few weeks ago I started my Gilmore girls adventure and... Oh boy was it good.

A really good thing about the show is that even though a lot of things happened that I do not like/approve of, I still love it so much. The characters are so loveable, you just love the show for them, stars hollow and.. Well you know what I mean. It's kinda weird because there were still a lot of things I disliked but it's kind of what makes the show great? Or not really, BUT what is great is, it shows that a show doesn't have to be absolutely perfect to be an absolute fave.

First, saying that, it makes me think of a simple thing : I miss the old shows, the ones with long openings with songs you would know by heart after a few episodes and all the main actors appearing during the opening too. Aw this doesn't exist anymore and even though we skip through them, we like them and from time to time we just watch them to sing and enjoy the song because with a simple melody all of the memories of the show resurface. Current shows can't relate. And I just like all the cute tiny "flaws" from old shows too. Like if you re-watch the first few episodes, Luke's diner is different, it's not located in the same place (I even think in the first episode Luke's diner appears twice and both time it shows it in a different location!), stars hollow is different, the gazebo is not at the center of the park, Kirk doesn't even exist and Sean Gunn is just a foreign dude for everybody in stars hollow and appears as different guys a few times before actually becoming Kirk that everybody knows since... Forever! I just love how before the shows were still evolving for a few episodes before becoming what they would be for the rest of the show. Now EVERYTHING must be perfect from the first episode. Idk I guess I find old shows endearing.

Anyway, so maybe I should kinda start with my actual thoughts?

1- I hated that they made Rory cheat on Dean and just stay with him when she very obviously liked Jess. I feel like a lot of people hate Dean but I feel like honestly most of his reactions were always justified? I am not saying that it's okay to react the way he did several times. In a perfect world this shouldn't be done but people aren't perfect and his reactions were natural and justified. People hate him for being mad when Rory didn't say "I love you" back, like he expected her to say it back because that's what one "should do" (in his mind, according to people hating on Dean) when they are being confessed to. I think he wasn't mad AT her. You have to think like a 16yo boy. For the first time ever (probably) you tell a girl you love her and she just freezes. If his reaction is over the top it's just because he feels so ashamed. He feels like he has bared his soul, and she didn't say a word so as a defense mechanism he gets angry, not really at her but it just covers the fact that he's ashamed. I feel like if she would have said something instead of freezing (even something like "oh wow that's unexpected, wow, I don't know what to say, sorry, what did I do to deserve a boyfriend like you" or like just something to diffuse the blank and the awkwardness) he wouldn't have reacted that way. An older, wiser guy/Dean wouldn't have acted that way but a 16yo one, baring his soul for the first time.... the alarm bells must have been ringing in his mind. Same for his reactions at the dance or when he talks to Jess after he sees him and Rory kiss. For the former, he's been suspicious for a while, hurting because he can feel his gf growing apart even though she says she loves him, and when he catches her and Jess exchanging looks, obviously he would be mad. He must be feeling like he's being toyed with for way too long. And for the latter, he's mad, and for the first time ever he lets himself have that cocky attitude he's seen Jess act with for quite some time. And he knows that even though he's still new to the town, he has the town's support because he has done a great job fitting in (hence saying "this is my town". People give him a hard time for that but it's definitely his town in the sense that even though Jess' family has been here forever, Jess is new in town and arrived later. so Dean came first, he's more of "the town" on that aspect AND everybody likes him when Jess... Well... You know. So Dean definitely "owns" the town). So even though Rory is currently blinded by her love for Jess, Dean knows that he has the upper hand in everything, and Rory might end up changing her mind after a flirt with that bad boy that blinded her for a while (that's Dean's thinking, not my opinion). Anyway all that to say, I read a lot of things about how Dean is the worst, and even though he is for sure not perfect, I don't understand all the hate. (but dude after what rory has done to you you should have known better than cheating on your wife). I was personally more mad at Rory for cheating on him and staying with him all this time when she only had Jess in mind. I for sure was mad at her for the way she acted but I don't see people hating on her for that. Not that I'm looking for people hating but like I haven't really seen people talking about her flaws but always the guys'. But anyway when she cheats she's 16/17, and even though she has that perfect boyfriend I can understand that when a bad boy that oh-so-surprisingly is also a big bookworm appears she can be swooning for a while). It's not the only time I disliked Roy's attitude/decision but to be honest I was so sad after finishing the show, I didn't want to leave those characters and start something else and forget about them so.... I restarted watching it and I'm currently at that stage so that's why it's my first exemple and that's why I feel so strongly about it right now.

2- I literally HATE how they changed Dean's character. At first he was this really knowledgeable guy, who had a pretty good knowledge in books and movies, and rory would make him read new stuffs, they would debate on it, Lorelai and Rory would show him movies he wouldn't know etc, but they had a real connection and real exchanges and debates. And I feel that to make Jess be THAT guy she can have stimulating conversations and debates with, they decided to make Dean kind of.... Dumber??? Like at one point Jess asks Rory what her and Dean talk about, and she's like really vague... I don't understand we've seen them exchanging books and stuff so much in the first season, why do they act like he's interested in nothing later? Just to make Jess more relevant and a good match for Rory? He literally brings nothing new to the table (except for that bad boy attitude) compared to season 1 Dean. But of course I guess when Jess was written Dean was too perfect so suddenly in season 2 he doesn't read, doesn't know anything about movies or music? I honestly feel like it's so shitty what they've done to this character. They should have thought about it beforehand instead of writing a perfect guy. Season 1 Dean was a bookworm, had knowledge in movies, but also liked sports, he had interest in mechanics, I swear they made a really good guy with various interests (not talking about the personality here) and didn't choose a stereotype-y kind of guy but then he ended up being too good so to be overshadowed by Jess they had to make him kinda dumber with 0 similar interests with Rory. That sucks. Am I the only one that noticed it? They could have at least kept that when Jess arrived and made Rory say that they talk about books and stuff. Jess being a bigger bookworm that actually always has a book on him just like Rory would still have had the same effect.

I'm staying on the Dean topic because as I write I remember other stuffs I've read on Dean. People hate him for that episode where they basically interpret what he says as "I want a woman that stays at home and cooks for me, nothing else". There's a difference between saying "I like the idea of having my girlfriend/wife cooking for me" and saying "women should not work but rather stay home and make her life's goal to make ME happy". Like, obvisouly if you told me that I could have my boyfriend cook me dinner I would also say "yes I want, I'd love that". It doesn't mean that I consider that his goal in life should be to make me food, it just means that yes the idea of having my boyfriend cook dinner when I come home is enjoyable. That's all it means. Kinda linked to all that is people saying that he dislikes/is threatened by Rory's ambition. He's said so many times that she is smart, she is Harvard material, that he's proud etc, how can the fact that he's asking her what they'll do when she's in Harvard is a proof that he is threatened. He's actually being really smart and realistic. That's a real question that should be asked and that they should think of. And when he's unhappy that she spends the summer studying rather than spending time with him, it's normal for him to be sad not to be able to spend time with his girlfriend when he was obviously thinking "yay holidays I'll be able to spend time with my girlfriend" and is just sad not to be able to see her more often even though they're supposed to be on holidays. He's not saying she sucks and she should drop out, he's just disappointed not to be able to enjoy the holidays how he thought he would. I don't know I think a lot of things that people hate Dean for are pretty justified ones and people just make them what they're not just because #TeamJess so they have to make Dean look bad. Idk honestly I understand a lot of these things and I think I would have acted in a similar way so maybe I'm a bad person too, hate on me people.

BTW this also makes me think of Logan's "ultimatum" that people seem to hate him for. To me it wasn't an ultimatum and his proposal and the reasons behind are completely logical??? They've been in a long distance relationship for a while, I understand the fact that he doesn't want to do that again and how it would be going backwards when he's head over heels for her and he very obviously wants to spend eternity by her side. Obviously doing it when he knows he has to move to the west coast which, by saying yes would force Rory to move too, is not perfect but anyway she always wanted to be on the move so being in LA or NYC or Stars Hollow wouldnt have changed much things for her since she would be spending her time on the road for her job. Obviously her family is essential so LA is not the best choice but if, again, they would have made Rory say "wait, let's talk about it" I'm sure they would have find a solution to work things out rather than making her say no on the spot and making it look like an ultimatum.

Until now I've voiced my opinions on Rory and Dean (and a bit of Logan), I guess these are my only thoughts concerning individual characters so what I want to say before moving on to other subjects is that those flaws that you can find in characters, even making Rory cheat on Dean, I actually like it. I like that they made those choices and all the characters, even the main ones, are flawed. Because nobody's perfect so it makes them so.... Normal? Relatable. Obviously I hate the fact that Rory cheats on her boyfriend but having a main character doing something bad, being flawed, is such a strength for a show. It shows exactly that nobody's perfect, we all make mistakes, and it's alright because that's what life's about. It doesn't prevent the characters to grow and become amazing characters later on (talking about growth and becoming amazing, kudos to Jess).

3- I really regret ONE thing. The fact that they didn't use all the seasons to show Emily and Lorelai work through their problems. There's been literally no improvement in their relationship from start to finish. Actually if you consider "a year in the Life", their relationship seems to be even worse than before (but I don't really wanna talk about a year in the life because I honestly thought all the episodes were pretty depressing, and if you think 10 years are supposed to have passed.... Why are almost all the characters still stuck in the same place/situation, Rory not having a successful career (this I can understand even though it's sad, but we see a full year with no improvement?) and still having no stability in her relationships, cheating on a poor guy no one thinks or cares about and doing with Logan and Odette was she has done before with Dean... I swear why have they made these decisions). What I regret is that Emily has kind of been all along a "comic relief", not in the sense that Emily is funny but because of her mother daughter relationship with Lorelai was always the perfect occasion to have Lorelai spit a lot of funny and witty lines. And I LOVE Lorelai and her wit. But I just wish the writers would have used all these years to show improvement. Obviously there's improvement in the sense that before season 1 Lorelai went only a few days a year to her parents' place. But still, from the first to the last episode, there's been no change. Lorelai being like "ugh kill me my mother is here" and Emily being still so cold. Meeting at least once a week for 7 years should have had more of an impact on their relationship. And even though we've seen snippets of emotional scenes where you can see how hurt Emily is or this kind of stuff, there's been no real improvement (and even though the revival shows an actual will to work on their relationship, they seem to be in a worst place than ever so..... Yeah.).

4- finally I want to talk about something that really, REALLY irritated me. The fact that they would spend episodes talking about something and then we would see nothing of..... The thing, and would directly have a scene at the end of after.... The thing. I have no example right now but I noticed it happened several times. They would hype me about something I would end up seeing nothing of and I hated it. I understand that the important point is the relationship between Lorelai and Rory (so the important thing would be their conversation after the thing and what they say about it) but still when you spend episodes talking about something, please show me a little bit of it at least ;-; so what I mean is... I was irritated with the writing sometimes haha but I swear it happened several times and it was so frustrating. Overall I have often disliked they choices when it came to the writing, the decisions they made for the characters, I would definitely not be happy about what would happen..... Actually when you think about it, pretty much all my points are complaints about the writing of the characters (or like consistent writing) or their choices haha But that's what makes it crazy how they are so many things I dislike or disagree with, but i still love the show very very much. So yeah it definitely means that finding flaws or just things you disagree with doesn't make a show bad. It just means that people don't think the same way and don't expect the same things but it doesn't prevent them from enjoying and loving the show anyway

Anyway this is way too long, I have to stop babbling, it's 4am, I've been writing for what feels like 2 hours and I'm pretty sure I've even forgotten things I wanted to say. If you've read all that........ Why.... How..... Thanks? If you did drop a star emoji!

[bobbystompy]

My Top 120 Songs Of 2017

Previously: 2016, 2015, 2014, 2013, 2012, 2011

The one saving grace is we do have 12 fewer than last year.

As always, criteria and info:

This is a list of what I personally like, not ones I’m saying are the “best” from the year; more subjective than objective

No artist is featured more than once

If it comes down to choosing between two songs for an artist, I try to give more weight to a single or featured track; not the ultimate factor, but it typically makes sharing the music easier

Speaking of… each song on the list is linked in the title if you wanna check any or every out for yourself

Oh, also, off the suggestion of Mike Gilkes -- and a few others -- I made this whole thing into a Spotify playlist, which you can peep here (includes 114 of the 120):

Let’s go?

120) Big Sean & Metro Boomin f/ 21 Savage - “Pull Up N Wreck”

Some mediocre, listenable rap made by dudes who know a bit better (well, at least 2/3rds of them).

119) Maroon 5 f/ Future - “Cold”

This song makes me feel mostly nothing... but the first minute of the video does have some solid Adam Levine alone-in-the-car acting.

/oh my god it has 119 million views

This was a lot easier to enjoy when I assumed it went unnoticed. Bonus points for the Wu-Tang shirt at the end.

118) Bleachers - “Hate That You Know Me”

Closed out 2017 undecided as ever on one Jack Antonoff. Should we hate him for dating Lena Dunham? Somehow respect him more? Give him mega credit for his big time pop songwriting collabs? Or is that a ding? Is he a nerd or the coolest guy in the cocktail bar? I do not know the answers to any of these questions, and this song is merely OK.

UPDATE: THEY GAWN

117) B.o.B f/ T.I. & Ty Dolla $ign - “4 Lit”

Real bad song with a mindless/terrible/misogynistic chorus. Yet... something about professional musicians sitting in a room and coming up with “4 Lit” as some sort of escalated to catchphrase to “lit” is just hilarious.

116) Prophets of Rage - “Unfuck The World”

Sure, this hits a lot of the same beats as Rage Against The Machine’s “Sleep Now In The Fire” from 18 years ago, but in these increasingly polarized, political times, I welcome their voice.

115) Kacy Hill - “Like A Woman”

This song is so chill and ethereal that it seems almost unfeasible for my punk/hip-hop/XX chromosome havin’ ass to completely sync with its wave.

114) The Decemberists - “Ben Franklin’s Song”

What happens when pop indie teams up with the lyrical stylings of Lin-Manuel Miranda? Well, this. I’m not sure if The Decemberists drop f-bombs in any of their other songs, but it pleases me to think it only happened here.

113) Offset & Metro Boomin - “Ric Flair Drip”

Mostly here for the beat.

112) Hurray For The Riff Raff - “Hungry Ghost”

A cool song that’s hard to put into a box. Indie? Pop? Rock? Forget labels, just enjoy.

(Minus a few points for the low hanging “girl/world” rhyme)

111) Wavves - “Dreams Of Grandeur”

I was pretty let down by the new Wavves LP, but this song sounds enough like the old stuff to be a net positive (despite being, like, 70 seconds too long)

110) Culture Abuse - “So Busted”

Culture Abuse got on my radar with last year’s all-timer, “Dream On”. It was an unrelenting, robotic pulverization. “So Busted” is more of a drug comedown; a ballad, even. While “Dream On” wanted to seek you out and kill you like a terminator; “So Busted” just wants a cuddle.

109) Trey Songz - “#1Fan”

This song is so dumb and funny and pseudo competent. Really not sure how the R&B guys get away with this shit.

108) The Killers - “The Man”

Is this in a movie? It should be in a movie. It’s kind of, like, a better version of what Arcade Fire has been trying to be.

107) New Lenox - “Protest Sweater”

A good song for the ending 2017 -- or any year, really -- and its run time (1:30) would make Joyce Manor proud.

106) Logic - “Everybody”

This is really good, but it reminds me so much of Kendrick that it becomes distracting.

105) Gorillaz f/ DRAM - “Andromeda”

Didn’t spend enough time listening to the new Gorillaz record, but I actually put the blame on them: it was long, man. So while I woulda loved to pick one of the songs with a cool cameo (hi, Vince Staples!), this is the one I actually had around the most. It’s all we’ve come to expect from this cartoon band -- kinda British, kinda futuristic, very undisturbed. Also, if it gets you back to the album before me, I heard that Damon Albarn told all collaborating artists to record their parts like the world was ending tomorrow.

104) Dropkick Murphys - “Blood”

If you know me at all, you know I historically have not been a fan of this band. But for whatever reason, this one connected -- bagpipes and all.

103) Captain, We’re Sinking - “Books”

CWS was never, ever going to top the falling-apart-desperation of 2013′s “The Future Is Cancelled”, but this song comes pleasantly close.

102) IRONTOM - “Be Bold Like Elijah”

My buddy Crooks rec’d this band, and the guitars give me Queens Of The Stone Age vibes in the best possible way. A bio on lastFM compared them to Arctic Monkeys, and you know what? I agree with that, too.

101) Jidenna - “A Bull’s Tale”

This song feels primed to explode and makes you wanna rip the shirt off your chest; only we don’t know if the bomb’s gonna blow in the middle or at the end.

100) Jeff Tweedy - “I Am Trying To Break Your Heart”

Yeah yeah, the original version of this dropped in 2002, and yes, it’s just a cover by the dude who originally sang it. I... do not care. It made me appreciate the confessional regret all over again.

99) Talib Kweli f/ Yummy Bingham & Jay Electronica - “All Of Us”

It was all bad just a week ago

Kweli and Jay Elect are a collab made in conscious rap heaven, so this song was more than a pleasant surprise.

98) Rise Against - “House On Fire”

This song could have been on “Revolutions Per Minute”. Or maybe I’m just saying that because of the hand grenade lyric in the chorus.

97) HAIM - “Want You Back”

Can’t imagine there being a lamer song on this list. HAIM and Bleachers should get in a wuss rock beef that ends with pistols.

96) The Bigger Empty - “By Its Own (So What)”

My producer plays bass in this band. This song is super solid, and, maybe most importantly in these completely divisive times, unoffensive and approachable. Kinda Hush Sound-y.

95) Little Big Town - “Lost In California” (note: link is to live version)

From the bros and broettes who brought us “Day Drinking” comes this much more subdued track. If you squint, it doesn’t really even seem like country. Granted, if they sang “Alabama” instead of “California”, you could probably call that claim out immediately.

94) Lana Del Rey - “Heroin”

Another beautiful/dreamy song from an artist who’s near-perfected that niche.

93) Wavves & Culture Abuse - “Up And Down”

Wavves and Culture Abuse have already made appearances on this list, and we haven’t even cracked the Top 80. Fortunately, their collaboration scored a little higher than their individual outputs. Shout out to their uplifting outro “I’ll just get high and I’ll die alone”.

92) The Chainsmokers & Coldplay - “Something Just Like This”

This song played at my gym all the time, and I was positive it was Coldplay. Then someone told me it was The Chainsmokers. Then I looked it up on YouTube, and it says “The Chainsmokers & Coldplay”... so what’s the deal, assholes?

91) Lil Peep f/ Lil Tracy - “Awful Things”

I hadn’t heard of Lil Peep when I found out of his passing in 2017. After looking up some pictures, I was nearly 100% positive his music was not for me. This was incorrect. I haven’t really listened to songs that sound like his; it’s kind of like rap that treads this line of being bad while also kinda sounding like alternative rock; destructive love song that doesn’t flinch.

90) AFI - “Dark Snow”

Nothing new, but Davey Havok can still sing circles around almost anybody.

89) Dashboard Confessional - “Love Yourself” (link is to live, partial version)

Well, Dashboard covered Biebs, and we all lived to tell the tale.

88) Garrett Dale - “2016 Was...”

This song would be a blast as a singalong in a late night hotel room. There’s something calming about celebrating -- or at least acknowledging -- everything sucking.

87) Katy Perry f/ Skip Marley - “Chained To The Rhythm”

Got more than a few issues with this song, but it’s catchy, so they’re mostly forgiven. Even though it’s Katy Perry, I was pretty surprised to see it racked up 444 million views.

And seriously who the hell is Skip Marley?!

86) The Ramblin’ Boys Of Pleasure - “Glug, Glug, Glug”

Now is probably a good time to plug the lead track from my band’s b-sides record that came out this year (ten years in the making, baby!). Mandatory listening if you’ve ever bonged brandy, partied in Champaign, or counted down in a country voice.

85) Charly Bliss - “Glitter”

It’s been nearly a year, but it’s still somewhat difficult to calibrate this singer’s voice. Is it a little too saccharine, too childlike, or just perfect? You be the judge.

84) Emperor X - “Wasted On The Senate Floor”

This singer is real god damn frenetic.

83) Father John Misty - “Total Entertainment Forever”

/obligatory “yes, this is the one with the Taylor Swift lyric” reference

FJM has such a pro’s pro voice and makes super sound music... but it’s also kinda hard to have an overall opinion. The more 50-50 I get, the more I think it’s not all that great. The video is a microcosm. Like... why is Macaulay Culkin paying Cobain? Is this a commentary on capitalism? Oooh, nah nah nahs are nice! As divided as I still am, I’m pretty positive this song is good-if-not-great.

82) St. Vincent - “New York”

This song is further proof that soft, radio friendly music can still benefit from a well placed “motherfucker”.

81) Andrew McMahon In The Wilderness - “Dead Man’s Dollar”

As long as Andrew McMahon’s project is called “Andrew McMahon In the Wilderness”, I will make fun of him like clockwork.

This song is nice. I sometimes sing “I want Thon Maker” when he says “I want to make a” in the chorus.

80) Kele Okereke - “Streets Been Talkin’”

Kele’s most impressive feat was sneaking “bae” right into the chorus without me noticing until literally right now.

79) Rick Ross - “Summer Seventeen” 

How the hell did this dumbass song get so high up on the list? I have no explanation. Classic Roazy though -- aim high, fake it till you make it. When I started my new job in August, IT reset my password to “summer2017″, and I had this song’s hook in my head nearly every time I typed it in. All told, a pretty hilarious way to start a work day.

78) Michelle Branch - “Best You Ever”

This song sounds so dark and sultry, but I’m not totally sure why. Branch rules.

77) Calvin Harris f/ Pharrell Williams, Katy Perry & Big Sean - “Feels”

The best way to ruin this song for anyone is to point out how much the hook sounds like Katy Perry singing “Don’t be afraid to catch fish”.

76) Morrissey - “Spent The Day In Bed”

This is a very low maintenance lyric video. So you can either make fun of that or the “I spent the day in bed / I’m not the type, but I love my bed” line.

75) Red City Radio - “If You Want Blood (Be My Guest)”

The “We don’t need a god damn thing from you” chorus is a little punk cliche to win me over, but the Oklahoma City reference (”where our dreams come true and die��) is the line I’ve been waiting for since I found out RCR was from there.

74) Sam Coffey & The Iron Lungs - “Talk 2 Her”

The closest we’ll get to a new Clash song in 2017.

73) Bad Cop/Bad Cop - “Womanarchist”

Factoring in the 2017′s themes (#MeToo, Harvey dead, etc.), this has to be the song title of the year. I smiled ear-to-ear watching this music video.

72) The Movielife - “Mercy Is Asleep At The Wheel”

Hey, The Movielife reunited!

71) The Rocket Summer - “Gone Too Long”

Unlike that lazy ass Morrissey, The Rocket Summer gave us a lyric video that basically passes as a legit music video.

70) Miguel f/ Travis Scott - “Sky Walker”

Me, every time I listen to this song:

“Ooh, beat is pretty solid.”

“Ah yeah, the hook’s good. I thought I really liked this song though...”

/falsetto part

“AW YEAH.”

69) Queens Of The Stone Age - “The Way You Used To Do”

Had never known about the Josh Homme/Elvis comparisons, but after hearing this, I totally get it now. Also: god damn it, man.

68) Macklemore f/ Skylar Grey - “Glorious”

What can we do to make Skylar Grey more famous? She Ginger Rogers’d for Em on “SNL” -- seriously, she played piano and sung Dido, Beyoncé, and Rihanna hooks (that’s a solid ass trinity!) -- has unarguably awesome songs, and never takes anything off the table. I honestly don’t care if she has another hit... let’s just, like, all Venmo her five bucks or something.

One of my fav music videos on the list so far. Be as skeptical of Macklemore as you want, but when his grandma offers him a drink (haha) then says she wants to “do it all” with their day together, it warms the hearts.

67) Direct Hit! - “Blood On Your Tongue”

Direct Hit! continues to be the best modern version of Green Day, The Ramones*, and themselves.

(* - without being Ramones-core)

66) Boyd & The Stahfools - “Party Penguin”

I’ve been in the game for a long while, but, for the first time in my career, I finally was part of a music video. If you told me it was a 2Pac parody that advertised craft beer, I’d, well, I’d believe you. We got Dave Hernandez on the hook, Mike Healy as Dr. Dre, and yours truly as Makaveli.

And all jokes aside, “On vacation like Bev D’Angelo” is one of my favorite penned lines.

65) Rancid - “Telegraph Avenue”

I like when Tim sings about grabbing his left-handed guitar.

64) Big Sean f/ Jeremih - “Light”

Sean Don made a forgettable 2017 album with many throwaway tracks -- but “Light” ain’t one of ‘em. I liked this song even before the touching video cemented its power.

63) blink 182 - “Parking Lot”

This is that weird mix of what makes all new blink really good and really eh at the same time -- Skiba involved (for better or worse), inspired Mark (for better or worse), and Travis’ overplaying (for better or worse). It’s for sure easier if you just turn your brain off and go with it.

Why does he reference Chicago in the verse then California in the pre-chorus?

I SAID “OFF”.

62) New Found Glory - “Your Jokes Aren’t Funny”

This song doesn’t break a ton of new ground, but it’s got this circular, easy chorus that keeps me coming back.

61) Teenage Bottlerocket - “Goin’ Back To Wyo”

Similar to Red City Radio writing about OKC, I can’t get enough of TB writing about their home. Did I blast this song while driving across the entire state alone this summer? Do you know me an ounce?

60) Frank Turner - “The Sand In The Gears”

A little dissatisfied with the current administration? Frank may be from across the pond, but he’s with you on this one, man. One of my favorite parts of this song is when he breaks the rhyme scheme just to angrily say “I thought that we were winning the war against the homophobes and the racists”.

59) Billy Bragg - “Not Everything That Counts Can Be Counted”

Billy Bragg is here for all of us, with perspective, wisdom, and insightful guidance in tow.

58) Dave Hause - “The Flinch”

Send this one to an old flame if you’re hoping, you know, to maybe rekindle.

57) Selena Gomez f/ Gucci Mane - “Fetish”

That’s right -- “Bad Liar” got beat out by this significantly less popular single featuring one of my least favorite rappers.

/looks up play totals

”Fetish”... 130 million

“Bad Liar”... 214 million

Comparably popular, I say! For me, this one is all about the chorus -- and that beat’ll get you swayin’.

56) Jay Electronica - “Letter To Falon”

‘Cause who gon’ save them babies? / And finally put a definite to all those maybes

Death, taxes, maybe death again, and Jay Electronica never releasing a full length album. Our man has been on Roc Nation for nearly ten years. I hate him so much. /anxiously awaits his next move

Jay Electricity in his zone on this one; so comfortable, in full operation within the confines.

55) Laura Jane Grace - “Adore”

I don’t know who Amy Shark is, but LJG covered her song and punted my heart into Lake Michigan.

54) Russian Girlfriends - “Antidote”

Upbeat, direct song that starts kinda Metric-y with the riff but then gets more pop punk as it progresses.

53) Brian Fallon - “If Your Prayers Don’t Get To Heaven”

My fiancee laughed when I looked up how to play this song on the guitar and the guy who tabbed it out wrote “Typical Brian Fallon open chords” in the intro.

52) Cloud Nothings - “Enter Entirely”

If “Womanarchist” is the ‘best’ song title of the year, “Enter Entirely” is certainly the coolest. And please don’t let the very boring music video fool you -- this song gets after it, man. If you are a fan of rock music, it would blow me away if you found this song remotely objectionable.

(After seeing CN open for Japandroids on back-to-back nights this November, it feels criminal to have such a slow song represent the band, as their drummer is the Russell Westbrook of the indie scene. That dude does not tire and comes off as more machine than man.)

51) Conor Oberst - “Napalm”

Oberst released a 10-song album in 2016 that was super brooding and piano-y... then he released another album in 2017 (17 songs) that had every track from his previous record and seven new ones. Kind of a weird move, no? This is one of those seven; suffice to say it’s a little more upbeat.

50) Sorority Noise - “No Halo”

You could tell me this song came out in 2002, 2007, or both -- but not 2017. How is this not a time capsuled rival of Taking Back Sunday or My Chemical Romance? I don’t know, but if you like a lot of death, this one’s for you.

49) N.E.R.D f/ Rihanna - “Lemon”

Let’s lighten the mood back up with some RiRi rap. My buddy Crooks’ take: “That's how every 2017 hip-hop beat should sound.”

48) Kesha - “Praying”

It’s damn near impossible to talk about this song without talking about The Note. It occurs at 4:21, and it will make you a little faint.

Kesha dusts herself off and gets beyond empowered in this one. This song could legitimately soundtrack the entire #MeToo movement. When the drums kick in halfway through, you’ll be ready to fight back too.

When I’m finished, they won’t even know your name

47) The Smith Street Band - “Laughing (Or Pretending To Laugh)”

This soft, hopeful love song is almost *too* respectful when it comes to interactions with the opposite sex. I’m not sure there’s a more endearing 2017 lyric than “And I don't wanna marry you just yet / But at least let me get you a cider / And I don’t even think I’d have to pay for it / Hopefully there’s a couple left on the rider”.

46) Run The Jewels - “Legend Has It”

Whenever I think of this song, I will always have that image of El-P holding up that gun to the bunny’s head. This song is braggadocious, each line one-upping the previous in perpetuity. Man, they probably rule live.

45) Vic Mensa - “Say I Didn’t”

Vic Mensa's Roc Nation debut (CAN YOU HEAR ME AT ALL, JAY ELECTRONICA?!?!?!?!?!?) was real strong, and this one gives you a good taste of what he’s about. He’s intense but controlled and even gets a little soulful. And depending what sphere you come from, you’ll either be extremely more or extremely less interested after he drops a Weezer reference. If that gives you trepidation, maybe the Nate Dogg namedrop will reel you back in?

44) Kendrick Lamar - “HUMBLE.”

I like Kendrick Lamar and will always recognize his talent, platform, and body of work (there’s a real case to be made that his “Control” verse killed hip-hop, and it’s just been an animated zombie ever since). Having said that...

He doesn’t always make it easy. The all caps song titles, the weird high pitched flow, the massive reliance of “bitch” in his choruses... yet, he’s the same dude who begs for stretch marked butts and body positivity. I don’t know, man. By the time he hits the “I make a play fucking up your whole life” line, I’m nearly all the way back in.

Last complaint: that organ-y keyboard thing could be so much louder. The beat almost feels diet because of that decision.

43) PKEW PKEW PKEW - “Cold Dead Hands”

This song is about how you can’t freeze this band to death, because they’ll party their way out of the situation.

42) Weezer - “Any Friend Of Diane’s”

This song puts me in a trance; they sing the same chorus lyric a million times, and I still almost want more.

41) Taylor Swift - “I Did Something Bad”

If this song isn’t a hit in 2018, then I do not know anything. For as uneven and questionable as her new singles were, this song has none of that. By the time she’s rolling on the tremendously magnetic “over and over and over again” part, you’ll feel like it’s 2009.

Maybe the old Taylor is still alive after all.

40) Best Ex - “Someday”

What’s that, you want your pop with a lot less baggage? This song is currently at 1,042 views, which is further proof of no justice in this world. I remember grocery shopping with this in the headphones, and you woulda thought it was the happiest moment of my life by the expression on my smiling, dumb face.

39) White Reaper - “Judy French”

“There are no good new rock bands wahhhhh”

Nah -- you just suck at finding music when it’s never been easier in human history, I guess?

38) Anti-Flag - “The Criminals”

This band has always lived in this dramatic life-and-death world, and it’s been going on for so long, that it’s like their vision of what they were always rebelling against was willed into existence.

37) French Montana f/ The Weeknd & Max B - “A Lie”

My dislike of French Montana is so high that I sometimes think about having to answer for saying something heinous about him. Kinda like when Kevin Garnett was accused of calling Charlie Villanueva (who has alopecia) a “cancer patient.”

KG’s all-time response:

“I am aware there was a major miscommunication regarding something I said on the court last night. My comment to Charlie Villanueva was in fact ‘You are cancerous to your team and our league,’" Garnett said in a statement to the media on Wednesday.

Hahahaha.

French, you are a cancer to hip-hop and our league. His verse even references stupid Karl Malone, because why wouldn’t it? The good news is we have The Weeknd on the hook *and* in the first verse, so you can basically just pretend it’s his solo song with a few regrettable cameos.

36) The Penske File - “Oh Brother”

The Penske File make it look effortless sometimes. After hearing this song and doing a Malört shot with their singer, I have higher hopes than ever for their 2018 full length.

35) The Front Bottoms - “Don’t Fill Up On Chips”

TFB’s new album didn’t give me everything I wanted in terms of uptempo bangers, but the lyrics, sentiment, and craftsmanship are all still very much present.

34) Vince Staples - “Big Fish”

The Juicy J chorus might not win a Pulitzer (”I was up late night ballin’ / Countin’ up hundreds by the thousand”), but Vince is rapping invincible, and by the time the lyrics call back his monster single (“Norf Norf”), you won’t be questioning anything anymore.

33) Julien Baker - “Shadowboxing” (link is to live version)

I know that you don't understand 'Cause you don't believe what you don't see When you watch me throwing punches at the devil It just looks like I'm fighting with me

I swear, Julien Baker might be one of the only people on this planet with the power to shut us all up and listen.

32) Paramore - “Fake Happy”

Paramore is a band that does dumb shit all the time. Infighting, legal drama, horrible makeover after horrible makeover. Seriously, this is real:

But through it all, there’s that unbreakable Hayley voice, and it’s like everything is gonna be OK again. I mean, no, it’s not -- but let’s still enjoy these fleeting moments, full blown pop transition or not.

31) Nothington - “Cobblestones”

This song briefly sounds like Lucero before turning into no nonsense despair punk.

30) Lorde - “Perfect Places”

Such a phenomenal album closer; great to have her back in the pop music fold. Car, headphones, party, whatever -- this song goes all around you.

29) Remember Sports - “I Liked You Best”

If Kesha’s high note in “Praying” was pop music’s peak vocal moment in 2017, I’d like to nominate the “You made this me-heh-heh-heh-heh-heh-hess” (2:37) part as punk’s.

28) Phoenix - “J-Boy”

This band makes such gorgeous music.

27) Drake - “Free Smoke” (no link)

Drake’s full album output, in minutes, for the last four years:

2013: 59 minutes 2014: N/A 2015: 108 minutes 2016: 81 minutes

And this doesn’t include stray singles, diss tracks, or cameos (2014 had “0 To 100″, for example). What I’m saying is, despite high quality material, Aubrey has saturated us with music for nearly half a decade. So even though I dig him lots, it was like “Really?!” when I heard he was releasing 2017′s “More Life” and “WHAT” when I found out it was another 81 minutes (the same length as 2016′s “Views”). Though the record is stylistically very different -- I keep hearing people use the word “grime”, though I have no idea what it means -- it’s still got bars. My favorite stray lines (they add up):

- “More life, more everything” - “I dunk text J-Lo / Old number, so it bounce back” - “Hilton rooms, gotta double up / Writin’ our name on a double cup” - “I fall asleep in sororities / I had some different priorities” - “Women I like was ignorin’ me / Now they like ‘Aren’t you adorable?’ / I know the question rhetorical” - “I make too much these days to ever say ‘Poor me’” - “I wanna move to Dubai / So I don’t never have to kick it with none of you guys”

But, it wouldn’t be Drake without making fun of him some. The song beings with, well, him sampling himself at an award show. The sample: 

And more chune for your headtop So watch how you speak on my name, you know?

Which begs the question: did he do the weird Jamaican accent knowing he was gonna sample it? It treads this weird genius/calculated doofus line. All I know is it makes me laugh.

26) Tigers Jaw - “Favorite” 

This song could make me pensive and unhappy on the sunniest of days.

25) Tee Grizzley - “First Day Out”

Like many, I first heard of Tee Grizzley from a LeBron James Instagram workout video. It was an easy sell: Detroit, ferocious beat, and the dude goes *hard*. I got a little too excited and emailed my hip-hop friends: “What the fuck is this? This is GOOD.”

This was before I realized he kinda sounds the same in every song. It’s no matter -- we’ll always have “First Day Out”, a brief time in June 2017 where I thought Tee Grizzley could be the next to run the game.

I can’t even be in public with my hoodie on

24) The War On Drugs - “Strangest Thing”

It’s very difficult to write about The War On Drugs without mentioning how transcendent it is to listen to them in the car. Everyone is right about that, but, for me, I also have to mention how much this dude sounds like Dylan. People say Springsteen, but I hear so much Bob. You don’t necessarily have to get “past” it, but you do kinda have to get used to it. Once you do, the lead guitar will carry you into the clouds. This music will make you contemplate and reflect.

23) Foxing - “Night Channels”

Let’s keep the mood contemplative; you almost feel sleepless if not completely locked in to this one.

UPDATE: This dropped in 2015, /sigh

22) Craig Finn - “God In Chicago”

This is more of a movie than a song -- and the visuals agree. Focus in on the lyrics, take in the story, and then do it again soon because you’ll catch new wrinkles each time. One of the year’s best videos, for sure. Punk News phrases it well: “Here he’s made a solo album of losers who have no idea they’ve already lost.”

21) DJ Khaled f/ Justin Bieber, Quavo, Chance The Rapper, Lil Wayne - “I’m The One”

No one wanted you to know he had sex in 2017 more than DJ Khaled. He made his infant son Asahd the “Executive Producer” for this video. Why? Because he’s an idiot. Khaled’s still existing fame continues to confound. He’s more faux-platitudes than man at his point. So why do the best artists in the world collaborate with someone so seemingly unintelligent? I don’t know, but this song bangs and was probably my Song of the Summer. We got JB on the hook, a dumb-but-amusing Quavo*, Wayne trying to gain footing, and Chance running across the finish line backward with Best Verse title belt. But Khaled won’t let you forget about him, blaring DJ tag and all. This song suffers for that, and it’s all his fault. 

(* - his ad lib of just repeating everything becomes charming once you start to get Stockholm Syndrome with the song)

20) Ed Sheeran - “The Shape Of You”

What a 2017 for the man behind the year’s best (super successful) pop song.  At the turn of the calendar, I barely knew who he was, but before we all knew it, there was a legitimate public outcry because he was on “Game of Thrones” for, like, two minutes. What a time. Oh, also, the “Come on, be my baby...” bridge gave me some “Real World: New Orleans” acid flashbacks.

Great meme, take us out.

19) Minus The Bear - “Last Kiss”

If the shattered neon heart didn’t give it away, this is a “the relationship is definitively over” breakup song. Seeing them play it at Riot Fest made me miss my late friend Luke; I wish he could have heard this.

18) Hot Water Music - “Never Going Back”

I’ve always maintained Chuck Ragan plays guitar and sings songs like a running back. Well, this song carpe diem’s me enough to play actual running back*.

(* - jk, would never do this unless it was against very small children)

17) Lucky Boys Confusion - “Good Luck”

My hometown heroes released their comeback album in 2017, and I’m not sure any track sums up the effort better. By the time Adam sings “Burned out, they call us / Screw ‘em, we got endless memories / Punk rock and the polish / I hope it gave you something to believe”, there are no dry eyes left.

(And yes, this could totally be an AM Taxi song, but with Ryan Fergus’ killer-fills-only drumming, I’m glad it wasn’t.)

16) Hodera - “Baltimore”

This song would likely have a Top 5 objective approval rating of any on the list.

...“The Wire” forever.

15) Iron Chic - “A Headache With Pictures”

It ain’t heavy, it ain’t heaven

If Hot Water Music is carpe diem, what is Iron Chic -- seize the life?! My favorite description of the band came from Sam Sutherland, who tweeted: “Whose day has already been derailed by the unavoidably weighty introspection of listening to the new Iron Chic record.”

They are a certified run-through-brick-walls outfit. One of my final 2017 memories of this song was subtweeting “Now I know” the night I got engaged and having my buddy Ricky think she might’ve declined the proposal. May have to include a ring emoji next time.

14) The Flatliners - “Indoors”

Had to listen to this, like, five or six times before its brilliant greatness overtook me like falling into a river. The chorus is so, so heartfelt.

Don’t sleep on the video, either (especially the end).

13) Sylvan Esso - “Die Young”

Though I have tickets to see them for the first time in 2018, I am not mega-versed in the catalogue of Sylvan Esso. But this feels like their best song. Imagine if Romeo and Juliet turned out OK.

12) Oso Oso - “Shoes (The Sneaker Song)”

Jade from Oso Oso would likely want all of the above stylized in lowercase -- but this ain’t Jade’s list. This was my favorite new band of 2017, and I do believe they made the year’s best album. It’s early-2000s emo at times, pop punk at others, and all ear candy.

11) Sincere Engineer - “Corn Dog Sonnet No. 7″

Staying in the new artist lane, I proudly introduce Sincere Engineer. This band sounds like if Modern Baseball had a little sister. By the time singer Deanna Belos sings “I’m still learning how to be”, you want to pat her on the back and give her all your best advice.

Fantastic music video -- and she confirmed to me this past weekend that it’s real mustard, not puffy paint (“I have a towel that is all yellow from cleaning it up”).

10) new.wav - “Girls”

Alright, so stick with me on this: new.wav is the band, covering The 1975′s song “Girls” in the style of “Enema of the State”-era blink-182. Confused? Yeah, I was too, but check it out. Maybe more impressive than the arrangements/performance is how they were able to match blink’s production style -- no easy task.

9) Jay-Z - “Family Feud” (starts around 5:30; partial version)

Shawn Corey Carter wants to get right with everyone -- America, his peers, and, of course, within his own home. And though I may never understand the “New n****s is the reason I stopped drinkin’ Dos Equis” lyric, I’m on board with about all else. Similar to the Oso Oso record, “4:44″ is such an album that it feels unfair to single out a song to represent all of its parts. Stripped from the LP, the song does not hit as hard, but in the groove of the record, it’s the apex. And despite Hov seemingly desiring peace, the song does have more than a few call outs:

- “My stash can’t fit into Steve Harvey’s suit” - “And old n****s, y’all stop actin’ brand new / Like 2Pac ain’t have a nose ring too” - “Al Sharpton in the mirror takin’ selfies / How is him or Pill Cosby s’posed to help me?”

In the latter stages of his career, it’s hard to call everything Jay does ‘necessary’, but “4:44″ definitely checked that box.

8) Rozwell Kid - “Wendy’s Trash Can”

Vacillated all year between this one and “Michael Keaton” and literally flipped a penny my cousin Maggie loaned me to decide. “Wendy’s Trash Can” was heads.

7) The Weeknd - “Reminder”

This one got backdoored in as a latter single from The Weeknd’s 2016 album. One of my favorite parts about Abel is how little he has had to change to succeed. Sure, it’s silky smooth, but he hasn’t sacrificed the drugs, darkness, or ego that should offend (but doesn’t because it he pulls it off so well). After bragging early in the song about he won a kids award for singing about cocaine, he calls out peers for biting his sound, blings out his entire crew, and, well:

When I travel 'round the globe, make a couple mil' a show And I come back to my city, I fuck every girl I know

/clutches pearls

6) The Bombpops - “Be Sweet”

The guitar riff in this song is why I fell in love with punk music. Also, super cool story behind the lyrics:

“'Be Sweet' is an homage to our dear friend, the late Brandon Carlisle of the band Teenage Bottlerocket," vocalist Jen Razavi told AP. "Back in 2010, we were partying in a hotel room with Brandon and Ray Carlisle. There was a guitar in the room and Brandon was showing us an idea he had for a song. He had written it for his wife, but he told us we should play it and change the lyrics to 'getting rad with my boyfriend.' He wrote down all the lyrics on four sheets of hotel notepad paper. Since then, the melody and the chord progression were forgotten, but I still had the lyrics. So we wrote our own version of the song in the studio and used every single lyric that Brandon had written down.

Did I mention the video has an “In Bloom” feel? Stop reading, go listen.

5) Action Bronson - “Let Me Breathe”

Action Bronson ain’t givin’ nothin’ up. This is my pick for rap song of the year. It’s got TV brags (”I got two shows, I’m about to pitch another”), a tight chorus (”Let me breathe for a minute / White Range Rover blowin’ trees all in it”), and whimsy shit too (“Honey bouncin’ up and down, she nearly broke my dick”). Ghostface’s disciple is having more fun than just about anyone.

4) Japandroids - “North East South West”

Only a Canadian band could get me to care this much about my own country. The Vancouver duo penned an Americana ode to the road -- but there’s a twist... they talk about their cities too. For every New Orleans, there’s a Toronto. For every California, a Vancouver.

Maybe they’ll be the ones to end all the border wars.

3) Alex Lahey - “Every Day’s The Weekend”

This is the only submission on the list I’d feel comfortable calling a perfect song. Relatable themes, a chorus that’ll tangle you up, f-bombs in all the right places, and every part maximized. She has this way of weaving between cool confidence and youthful insecurity, all in the matter of one verse.

2) Carly Rae Jepsen - “Cut To The Feeling”

When it comes to “Call Me Maybe” and its legacy, I do not fuck around. This song gets really, really, really close. Just watch this dude.

Queen Carly blessed us with another one. The chorus soars, arms go up, and clouds are your closest companions.

1) The Menzingers - “After The Party”

It's the little things my mind commits / To etch behind my eyelids

When this song dropped, my buddy Dave Rokos called it his favorite Menzos song ever. That felt like high praise, but man, he might be dead on. “After The Party” rips me in half with its lyrics of palpable desperation:

Like a kaleidoscope in vibrant hues I navigate around your tattoos Said you got that one on a whim when you were breaking up with him And that Matryoshka Russian doll That lines your shelf from big to small What a way to start anew To shed your skin and find the old you 

If Carly’s chorus flies, this one holds us down like gravity. You feel everything, you feel nothing, you feel full yet voided, but after all of this -- the life, the party, the friends, the bars, the experiences, the nights, the lights, the fights, the city you live in -- it’s still her and you. Or him and you. Or whatever it is you come home to at the end, when it’s finally quiet.

[abloodycrow]

Kiss Me By The Campfire

After a challenging game of Truth or Dare, Sean reflects on the way he feels towards Ben and how it could affect his relationship with Skye.

“Camping 101,” Noah mumbled as the group all dived into the boys’ tent, “check the weather forecast.”

“Alright,” Sean held out his hand to Noah defensively, “just because it’s raining, doesn’t mean we can’t still have fun.”

”With all seven of us in a six man tent,” Danielle hissed as she crossed her arms, “there’s not really much space to move, especially with all your stupid stuff in here!”

“Well if you want to go over to your tent, be my guest,” Sean politely spoke to Danielle, offering her a smug grin, “we’ll all stay here and have fun.”

Danielle didn’t respond, she just looked to Kaylee who eventually shrugged back to her.

“Let’s play a good old party game then,” Josh clapped his hands together, “how about Truth or Dare?”

“Yes!” Ben eagerly opted for the game, “but staying inside the tent, because I don’t want people running outside and coming back in here - we’re all already wet enough.”

“Kaylee doesn’t like Truth or Dare,” Noah pulled a face, he then offered a smile over to Kaylee.

She simply waved a hand and gave a smile, “all of you are my best friends so… I suppose I’m comfortable with it. As long as it doesn’t get too outrageous.”

”Alright then,” Noah raised his eyebrows eagerly, “who wants to be the first victim?”

”You,” most of the group responded to Noah, he seemed insulted for a second and then sighed.

“Okay, okay.”

”Truth or Dare?” Kaylee called out to Noah.

Noah took a moment to think, tapping his chin in a comical fashion, “truth.”

Before anyone else could call out a question, Danielle spoke up, “are you still pining over Kaylee?”

”Straight in there,” Ben whispered to Sean who tried to hide a laugh.

“I wouldn’t call it pining,” Noah answered swiftly, he looked at Kaylee who was giving him a sweet smile, “but yes.”

“Ben,” Sean turned to his best friend and grinned, “your go, truth or dare?”

”Dare,” Ben raised his eyebrows in a challenging fashion.

Noah gasped, “kiss the prettiest boy here, you’ve got three options, choose wisely!”

Sean pulled a face up at Noah, “he’s my best friend, and he knows if he doesn’t choose me,” Sean turned to face Ben, “he’ll be training by himself.”

“I’d like to remind you that I’m here,” Josh called out from the other side of Skye, “so you’ve got some pretty solid competition.”

Ben looked up at Noah, and then to Josh, and then Sean, “hard choice,” he joked.

“I will end our friendship,” Sean whispered, he began to grin, “remember who your best friend is, who you’ve known for so long and- Actually, come on, we all know my eyes are the prettiest.”

Ben shrugged, “he’s got a point.”

”Just kiss one of them already,” Skye laughed, “we’re playing a game remember.”

“Alright,” Ben waved a hand in front of Sean’s face, “close your eyes so it doesn’t have to be weird,” he let out a small laugh, Sean raised his eyebrows to Noah and then closed his eyes as asked. It was only a second or two before he felt a pair of lips against his own, he knew they weren’t Skye’s. A comfort to the small doubt in his mind was the hand that cupped his jaw - it was definitely Ben’s hand.

He was enjoying the moment, nobody else was aware that Sean was attracted to boys, and nobody would ever know about his crush on his best friend. Feeling Ben’s lips on his in that moment seemed to complete his dreams, the kiss was deeper than most kisses people would share during truth or dare - but Ben and Sean were best friends, they were allowed to be this comfortable around each other.

When Ben pulled away, Sean put all his effort into not chasing after his best friend’s lips. He opened his eyes and looked around the tent, everybody was watching with wide eyes - surprised the boys saw the dare through.

“I’ve never known straight boys to kiss each other like that,” Josh whispered to Kaylee who let out a snort of laughter.

“Alright, Ben passed that round with ease apparently,” Noah raised his eyebrows to Ben. The boy looked over to Noah and shook his head, Noah only laughed in response.

“Looks like it’s your go now,” Ben turned to Sean, “truth or dare?” Sean looked at the floor as he thought, he nodded, “I’ll go with dare.”

”Kiss the prettiest boy,” Noah called out again.

”So original,” Skye tutted, letting out a giggle, “do you really want them to kiss you or something Noah?”

”I did always count myself as the prettiest,” Noah nodded.

Sean quickly leaned into Ben and returned the kiss he had been given by for, since he had control of this one, he felt awkward putting too much into it so left it close to a peck. He pulled back and smiled at Ben, “well, at least we’re both loyal.”

“And yet you still kissed Skye when she was my girlfriend.”

The group in the tent all reacted to Ben’s comment, even Skye made a low ‘oooh’ sound as she tried not to laugh. Danielle seemed the one who was less pleased by the comment. Sean hit Ben’s shoulder and laughed, “I did kind of deserve that.”

“Alright Skye,” Josh nudged his best friend, “your go! Truth or dare?”

”If I choose dare, are you guys going to make me kiss the prettiest boy in the tent?”

“No,” Noah crossed his arms and offered a smile, “promise.”

”Alright, dare.”

Noah then quickly shouted his dare, “kiss the prettiest boy that isn’t Sean!”

Danielle let out a groan and rolled her eyes, “we all know who it’s gonna be.” Skye seemed to ignore Danielle’s comment and crawled over Sean to place a kiss on Ben’s lips, Sean watched the pair - not out of any jealousy at all, but he watched them thinking that these two people meant so much to him, and he wanted them both.

Sean was pulled out of his thoughts when Skye was suddenly tugged back by Josh who screamed ‘TRAITOR’, it was so shrill that Sean and Ben both covered their ears whilst Noah, Kaylee, and even Danielle broke out into laughter.

“If I were to kiss the prettiest boy, I’d kiss Noah, just so he felt loved,” Josh spoke up, he winked to Noah who made sure to wink back.

“I’d kiss you too, Josh.”

”This is all taking a totally different turn,” Danielle pulled a face, “I really didn’t expect any of this to happen,” she turned to Josh, “your turn now Josh, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Are you bored of this game?” Danielle asked, clearly bored herself.

“Nope!”

“Kaylee,” Noah pointed to the girl, “Truth, or dare?”

“Dare.”

”Kiss th-”

”No!” Danielle snapped to Noah, she turned to Kaylee and smiled, “I dare you to improvise a song on the spot for at least thirty seconds.”

“Alright,” Kaylee nodded, “challenge accepted.”

”Sitting in a tent with my six best friends,

I don’t want this good time to… Ends?

All of us watching Ben and Sean lip lock,

Who’d have thought it’d be them making this tent rock?

I think I’m losing my touch,

I’ve never struggled so much,

Putting words into a rhyme,

Danielle please tell me that’s the time!”

The group burst into cheer and laughter, Kaylee held both of her arms in the air triumphantly.

“New single, I think,” Noah struggled to speak through his laughter, Kaylee glanced over to the two boys who were laughing but also quite embarrassed by her third line. Skye was leaning up against Josh whilst they were both practically screeching with laughter.

“That is the best thing of the night, by far,” Josh spoke through his laughter, he smiled to Kaylee, “you are my favourite person.”

”Thank you,” Kaylee winked to Josh.

“Alright, Danielle,” Ben pointed across to her once he stopped laughing, “truth, or dare?”

“Truth,” Danielle responded.

“Do you actually hate any of us in here?” Ben asked, suddenly altering the mood of the night.

Danielle looked into his eyes and pulled a face before sighing, “no, okay? I don’t hate any of you, I actually… Kind of like you guys, even Skye.”

”Wait, why even me?” Skye asked curiously, Sean cleared his throat next to her and she looked up at him, she then turned back to Danielle, “oh because of the whole… I’m sorry about that, do you want him back?”

”Skye!” Sean’s voice went high-pitched, he began to laugh again.

“No thanks,” Danielle shook her head, “there’s better things out there for me.” Sean looked over to Danielle, “why does everyone want to insult me today?”

”Get over it,” Noah tutted to Sean, “you’ve already kissed Ben twice because you two are the prettiest boys.”

“Fair enough.”

“Noah, back to you,” Ben looked to the boy again, “truth or dare?”

”Dare.”

”Kiss the prettiest girl,” Skye snorted as she gave the dare, Noah looked to Kaylee who seemed slightly scared knowing he’d kiss her - but purely because she may not have been ready. She then gave him a smile and a nod and he crawled across the tent and gave her a quick kiss on the lips.

Ben chose truth this time around, Danielle asked him if he was still upset about Skye choosing Sean, Sean had watched Ben the entire time, giving him a nod to let him know it was fine to be honest.

“I am a little bit, but I’m also very happy for my best friend, and for Skye,” he flashed them both a smile, “continue being cute and happy.”

Sean slowly smiled in response, he then looked around when it was his turn, “uh, truth.”

”Other than the two you’ve already dated, slash, are dating, would you date anybody in this tent?”

”Yes,” Sean answered simply, forcing himself not to look towards Ben.

“Oh, Kaylee’s in there,” Noah raised his eyebrows to her.

“There’s three more of us,” Ben looked up at Noah, “you do realise that.”

”Oh,” Noah looked to Sean, “yeah but, I thought Sean was st-”

”Skye,” Sean shouted over Noah’s comment, he looked to his girlfriend and put on a smile, “truth or dare?”

”I didn’t know you liked boys,” Skye didn’t answer the question and looked into Sean’s eyes.

“Sean,” Ben’s voice made Sean turn to him, “I am so sorry, I completely-”

”It’s alright,” Sean gave him a small smile, “we’re all friends anyway, save your questions for my next truth, huh?” He laughed and then looked to Skye again, “truth or dare?”

”Truth.”

”Does Sean liking boys change your idea of him?” Ben leaned forward to look across Sean to Skye.

“Of course it doesn’t,” she threw her arm around him and pressed her forehead against his temple, “why would it?”

Ben gave Sean a ‘I told you so’ look, and then sat back in his place.

“Josh,” Noah pointed to him, “truth or dare?”

”I’ll stick with truth.”

“Would you date anyone in this tent?” Kaylee asked him quickly, “options open, if these three,” she pointed to the other three boys, “were all interested in boys and single, would you date one of them?”

”Yes,” Josh answered with a smile, “you boys can fight over me later.”

“Kaylee, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

“Was Noah your first kiss?” Skye asked curiously. Kaylee gave a quick nod, she continued to smile and then turned to Danielle.

“Dare,” Danielle answered without even being asked the question.

“I dare you to sit on Sean’s lap for one round,” Josh laughed, he clapped his hands together.

“Okay,” Sean mumbled as he watched Danielle shift from her spot, she groaned as she sat down in his lap, “hello there,” he taunted to his ex-girlfriend.

“Aw,” Skye laughed, “throwback.”

Sean kept a hold of Skye’s hand whilst Danielle sat on his lap, he turned his head to look at his current girlfriend, “let’s all be clear that this means nothing,” Danielle shifted on Sean’s lap and he let out an awkward laugh, “alright, don’t get too comfy.”

Noah chose dare again, and this time he was dared to wear Danielle’s coat - of course Danielle was less than pleased with the idea but begrudgingly took off her coat whilst still on Sean’s lap. Sean managed to get a face full of fake fur as she did so. She threw the coat over to Noah and crossed her arms in protest.

“It’s freezing!”

“Aw, there, there,” Sean tutted, he wrapped his arms around her, “Seany Boy will keep you warm.”

”Get off of me!” Danielle snapped.

“You’re the one on me.”

”Shut up.”

Ben passed his own jacket to Danielle, “stop whining and wear this, and don’t think anything of it.”

“You look gorgeous, Noah,” Skye commented to her friend as he posed with Danielle’s coat.

Noah let out a loud laugh and turned to Ben, “alright, Benny Boy, you next. Truth, or dare?”

”Truth.”

“Since you outed Sean,” Josh leaned forward, “are you, Ben Evans, 100% into girls?”

Ben’s mouth opened slightly and he seemed to be stuck, after a moment his open mouth transformed into a smile, “actually,” he looked to Sean and gave a ‘sorry’ face, “I’m not. I haven’t even told Sean this so, this can be payback for me outing you I guess. I actually think of myself as Pansexual.”

“I’m so upset you never told me,” Sean pouted, “but I still love you, and I’m proud of you.”

“What does pansexual mean?” Danielle asked innocently, she was clearly curious.

“It means he’s not limited with his partners, gender doesn’t mean a thing to Ben,” Josh explained quickly, “you can be anyone, and if you’re worthy of his love, then he might chase after you.”

“Thanks Josh,” Ben laughed, he turned to Sean, his eyes bright and his smile widening, “your turn, truth or dare?”

“Truth.”

”When did you realise you weren’t straight?” Skye asked, linking her arm around Sean’s and leaning up against him.

Sean let out an awkward laugh, he looked around - taking a moment to glance at Ben. He wasn’t going to tell them it was when he was training with Ben in the forest. He had known there was something different, especially around Ben. And he had felt butterflies in his stomach when he was around the boy, but one training day in particular, Ben had slipped on his bike and fallen into a puddle of mud. Sean had helped him up and Ben then took his shirt off to say he was surely going to be bruised by the fall. He had pressed his hands on multiple areas, just to check that nothing was broken. Sean had been slightly mesmerised by his best friend in that moment. It was that moment in particular that he realised he wasn’t exclusively into girls.

“I realised I was bisexual,” he began slowly, “probably about a year ago. Ben is the only person who knew before tonight, and honestly, I’ve only kept it a secret because I know there’s bad stigma around bisexuals, saying that we’re cheaters an-”

”You did kiss Skye when you were with me,” Danielle glanced back over her shoulder.

Sean pressed his lips together, he let out a sigh, “yes I did that. But people say bisexuals are promiscuous and some people say we don’t exist - that’s what terrifies me about people knowing.”

“Well we all love you,” Kaylee responded after a moment of silence, “all of us.”

The game went on from there, slowly becoming boring for everyone. It was already dark and luckily, the rain had stopped. When it got to midnight, Josh had already fallen asleep at one side of the tent, and so the girls decided that they’d leave to go to their tent - so everybody could get a good night’s sleep.

Sean had set up a camping bed with a soft mattress - Noah had made a comment along the lines of ‘trust you to live in luxury in the woods’. Sean only raised his eyebrows as he tugged the duvet over him. It was far more comfortable than a sleeping bag on the floor would be.

“You can fit two people on that,” Noah scoffed, “you didn’t think you’d be sharing with Skye, did you?”

”No,” Sean shot him a glare, “it just happened to be what my dad made me bring.”

Ben laid out his sleeping bag and he laughed about Sean and Noah’s conversation, “Sean has a king-sized bed at home, do you expect him to ever sleep in a single bed?”

“I’ve slept in yours before,” Sean turned to Ben quickly.

“Yeah, we both could have fit in it, but someone decided that they’d take up the entire thing.”

Sean let out a hum of laughter as he turned back to Noah, “I’m a tall person, I like to stretch out.”

“He hit me in the face,” Ben informed Noah quickly, “and then basically pushed me onto the floor.”

”In my dream, you were a lion,” Sean retorted to Ben, “I’m not gonna let a lion sleep next to me!”

”So you’d push it? If the lion wants to sleep, let the lion sleep, don’t provoke it you moron.”

“You have just lost all best friend privileges,” Sean pointed at Sean and stared him in the eyes.

“How about you both shut up and we go to sleep,” Noah called out, “before you wake up Josh.”

They followed Noah’s advice and each got comfortable in their own sleeping place - Sean in his camping bed and Ben on the floor in his sleeping bag.

* * * * *

Ben sat up when he felt something tickling his foot, it didn’t take him too long to realise something was crawling across his foot. There was another similar sensation on his thigh which was exposed since he was only sleeping in his boxers. The same tickle was present on his hand, he lifted his hand out of the sleeping back and saw a spider running across the back of his hand. Without a second of hesitation, knowing the other tickles were also spiders, he slipped out of the sleeping bag, picked it up and ran out of the tent - having quickly pulled the zips up and just wanting to get rid of the spiders. He ran outside as far from the tent as he could in ten seconds and threw the sleeping bag onto the ground. He shook his arms and legs to make sure the spiders had gone.

Ben had a ridiculous fear of spiders, it was the one reason he didn’t like cleaning in the lodge because he’d fear finding a spider underneath the beds. He paused for a moment, only then realising that it was in fact pouring with rain again. His hair was already flat against his forehead, and his boxers were practically already soaked through. He was surprised that he hadn’t already noticed it, especially with how sharp the cold rain felt on his skin. He made his way back to the tent, knowing he’d have to zip it up again soon so that the rain didn’t flood the tent. He was glad to get back inside, at least it felt slightly warmer inside. He zipped up the entrance and wrapped his arms around himself. He had began shivering, perhaps running outside to get rid of the spiders wasn’t the best idea.

“What are you doing?” the tired Scottish accent caught Ben’s attention.

“I-I-” Ben began stuttering due to his shivering, “I- Uh, th-there w-were spid-spiders. Sp-spiders in m-my sleep-p-ping bag.”

”And so you went outside, in the rain?”

“I-I-I d-didn’t know it w-was r-raining unt-t-til-”

Sean pulled back the duvet and patted the bed, “get over here, I’m not letting you stay like that.”

”Th-th-thank you,” Ben rushed forward to the warmth of Sean’s bed, as soon as he was on the mattress Sean threw the duvet over Ben. Ben curled up under the warm duvet, he still continued to shiver. Sean looked at his best friend, worrying for him. He quickly leaned off of the side of his bed and searched through his bag, he pulled out the hoodie he had been wearing earlier in the day and passed it to Ben.

“Take this,” he spoke quietly but loud enough so Ben would hear him over the rain, he flashed Ben a smiled as the boy quickly pulled on the hoodie and zipped it up, “you are soaking wet.”

”I’m aware of that.”

”You’re gonna catch a cold.”

“Shut up,” Ben let out a struggled of laughter.

“Here,” Sean moved closer to Ben and pulled him towards him, he kept his arms around the boy and closed his eyes. They had previously had moments like this, comforting each other. Ben would often comfort Sean if he was upset about his dad, and Sean had done the same when Ben and Ana had broken up. There was a slight difference with it now, neither of them exclusively liked girls and that shouldn’t have changed anything - but for Sean he felt closer to Ben after the latter had opened up about his sexuality. It just increased the possibilities for Sean.

“Sean?”

”Mm?”

”It’s me isn’t it?” Ben spoke so he could be heard above the rain, now not stuttering out his words.

“What’s you?”

”The person you’d date.”

Sean pulled back and looked at Ben with wide eyes, “I…”

”You hesitated, it’s me.”

“Ben.”

“Go on,” Ben was grinning at him, “admit it.”

”Ben…”

”You are pretty close to me right now.”

”Because I’m keeping you warm.”

Ben’s hand suddenly moved to find Sean’s, “so you don’t like me like that?”

Sean looked into Ben’s eyes, he hadn’t seen that exact look from Ben before, it seemed as though he was worried - but he was trying to hide it. Sean let a smile play on his face, “why? Do you like me?”

Ben laughed softly, and then pressed his lips together, “honestly?”

“Honestly,” Sean whispered.

“I do, did you think I’d kiss you like I did if I didn’t?”

”That’s a good point,” Sean nodded, he licked his lips and looked into Ben’s eyes again, “I kind of want to do it again,” he then leaned towards Ben and did as he wanted, placing a kiss on Ben’s lips. It was just as it had been earlier when Ben had been dared to kiss Sean, but this time it felt far more real. Sean had wanted this for so long, and even though kissing Ben felt so right, the thought of Skye made Sean pull away, “of course, I did it again.”

”Hm?”

”Kissed someone else whilst I’m in a relationship.”

”Oh yeah,” Ben let out a laugh, “you’re a mess, you know that?”

”Are you trying to ruin my relationship with Skye so you can have her?”

”No! No,” he shook his head quickly, “I just… I do really like you.”

”I like you too,” Sean replied, “but I like Skye as well. So what do I do?”

”I don’t know, follow your heart?”

”My heart wants both of you, but I can’t do that! I can’t have both of you!”

“Yes you can.”

Sean and Ben both stared at each other in shock, neither of them had spoke those last three words,  they quickly sat up in the bed and looked across to Noah who was lying down holding his phone above him, the light from the screen illuminating his face. He wasn’t looking over at them, instead he was staring at his phone.

“H-how long have you been awake?” Sean asked cautiously, terrified.

“Long enough to know Ben had spiders in his sleeping bag,” Noah then finally sat up and looked at the pair, “and you can be with both of them-”

”I’m not going to cheat on Skye!”

“You don’t have to,” Noah pulled a face, “it’s called polyamory, more than two people being in a relationship, it makes sense for you lot. You two like each other, you both like Skye, and Skye likes both of you. Sort it out.”

Sean looked to Ben, “he’s got a point… Maybe we could…”

”We could ask Skye,” Ben nodded, “I mean… I think it could definitely work.”

“Great!” Noah cheered, “now can you two go to sleep? Because hearing you two talking is keeping me awake and honestly - I want to sleep.”

“Okay,” Sean flashed Noah a smile even though he probably wouldn’t see it in the dark, “goodnight Noah.”

”Night.”

* * * * *

Skye and Kaylee had both been awake for almost an hour when they decided to wake up the boys, it wasn’t raining like it had been throughout the night but the floor was still damp. They ran across to the tent and quietly entered it. Unfortunately, they couldn’t surprise all the boys as Josh and Noah were already awake. Skye looked to where Noah’s focus had been, Sean and Ben were cuddled together on Sean’s bed.

”Aw,” Skye instantly began to smile over her boyfriend and his best friend, “what happened to Ben’s sleeping bag?”

“Spiders,” Noah shrugged, “he ran outside when it was pouring it down with rain because there were spiders in his sleeping bag. Sean made sure to keep him warm.”

“So thoughtful,” Kaylee laughed.

“Skye,” Noah waved for Skye to come closer to him, “can I ask you a hypothetical question that I’m just really curious about?”

“Of course.”

Noah looked to the two boys on the bed and then to Skye again, “if you could be in a polyamorous relationship with those two, would you?”

”Polyamorous, so we’d all be together?”

”Yeah.”

Skye looked to the pair and began to smile, “I mean they are both really cute, I’d be the luckiest girl in the world - wouldn’t I?”

”So that’s a yes?”

”Yeah, why?”

”I was just thinking about it,” Noah bluffed and then passed Skye to speak to Kaylee and Josh about something completely unrelated.

Skye walked over to the bed and crouched down next to it, she gently began to play with Sean’s hair and leaned in close, “wakey, wakey,” she sang into his ear.

Sean did open his eyes as Skye would hope, but he then seemed to panic slightly and sat up immediately - making Ben jump awake, “Skye!” Sean shouted in shock, “what are you doing in here?”

”Waking you up.”

“Well, yeah…”

”Are you alright?”

”Fine,” Sean smiled to her, “I’m good.”

“Alright,” Skye let out an unsure laugh as she pulled a face at her boyfriend, “well Kayls and I are going to attempt to make a nice hot breakfast for us all.”

”How?” Ben cocked his head to the side.

“Camping stove,” Kaylee raised her eyebrows with a smile, “hopefully the smell of bacon will get you all up and out of the tents!”

The girls began laughing and left the tent quickly, Sean looked to Noah who was giving him a ‘tell her and ask her’ look. Josh watched the pair exchange eye contact for a moment and then jumped forward.

“What’s going on here?”

”Nothing,” Sean responded quickly, possibly too quickly. It was definitely too quick of a response for Josh as he began to analyse the scene, he raised his eyebrows slowly.

“Did you cheat on Skye with Ben?” He whispered harshly and approached the bed, “because if that’s the ca-”

”Josh,” Noah called the boy, “it’s actually kind of a good thing,” he waved for Josh to come closer and then explained the situation in a whisper, “Ben, Skye, and Sean all like each other. Sean’s going to ask Skye if she’d like to be in a polyamorous relationship with them.”

”Oh,” Josh looked back at the pair who were still sat in the bed together, “I suppose… I suppose Skye would like that. She likes you both, and you both really like her - if you both promise to take care of her.”

”We promise,” Ben answered, a smile slowly forming on his face.

”Great,” Noah crossed his arms, “now I’m going to go outside and get ready for breakfast.”

Sean and Ben agreed, they both began to get ready for the day, Ben passed the hoodie he had worn back to Sean and offered him a smile as thank you. They both changed into their clothes quickly, sometimes sharing glances as they did so - Ben could see that Sean was clearly nervous about asking Skye, and who wouldn’t be.

”I’ll let you and Skye go alone,” Ben suggested, “Kaylee’s got her guitar with her… How about if I kind of… Hide in the trees and listen-”

“Not creepy at all.”

“Yeah, okay. But I wait, if she says yes I run back to camp, inform Kaylee and then start to serenade Skye, you can join in of course.”

“Aren’t you just the cutest?”

”Well thanks,” Ben winked, the pair began to laugh.

“Alright, she says yes, you run back and get ready to sing. She says no, you run back and pretend nothing happened.”

“Good plan!”

The pair finally emerged from the tent, and they joined their friends on the logs that were circled around the camping stove. Danielle was already up which was surprising - she looked as though she had literally woken up at home and then been driven to the site.

Sean sat next to Skye and Ben decided to sit on the log opposite, just to avoid any awkward happenings. Kaylee was currently battling with the camping stove, and Noah was at her side in an attempt to help.

“So you gave up on breakfast, mm?”

Skye nodded, “I don’t know how to work a camping stove.”

”Thought not,” Sean laughed, he pressed a kiss on Skye’s forehead and then pulled back to look into her eyes, “hey, uh… Can I talk to you about something?”

”Yeah sure,” Skye smiled quickly.

Sean stood up and held his hand out to Skye, the girl curiously took the hand and followed Sean as he led her away from the logs. Ben watched the couple leave and then stood up himself.

”I’m going to go to the toilet,” he excused yourself.

“There aren’t any toilets in the wood,” Josh tested the boy quickly, surely Josh knew where Ben was actually going.

”Then I’m going to go pee in the woods,”

“Gross,” Danielle pulled a face, Ben laughed it off as he walked away, making it seem as though he was going in a different direction to the couple - but it wasn’t too long until he saw them both not too far in the distance. Sean was holding both of Skye’s hands and clearly trying to get his words out. Ben leaned up against a tree and watched patiently.

Skye waited for Sean to get his words out but he struggled, “Sean? What are you trying to say?”

”Alright- uh…” Sean looked around, he caught a glimpse of Ben leaning up against the tree and quickly looked to Skye again, he quickly took a breath, “alright, you remember during truth or dare, you asked me… When I realised I like boys?”

”Yeah,” Skye’s smile seemed quite curious.

“Okay, well… It was when… I was out training with Ben one day,” Sean knew that Ben would be able to hear him from the short distance, but he didn’t mind, the time had come to be honest, “and I knew there was something different about the way I felt for him. Anyway, during this one training session, he slipped off of his bike - straight into a puddle of mud,” he began to laugh, “it was one of the most hilarious things I had seen. Then, he was checking for injuries, he took his shirt off and suddenly the different feelings I was having towards Ben all kind of… Bloomed into one big happy feeling and I realised… I was attracted to him, I had a crush on him.”

“That’s what you took me away from the campsite for?”

“There’s a bit more,” Sean held eye contact with Skye, “I… Last night… After Truth or Dare, Ben had a whole dilemma of having spiders in his sleeping bag and so he ran outside, only in his boxers bare in mind, whilst it was pouring with rain. So, to prevent him from getting hypothermia, I let him share my bed with me… And we spoke a lot and… And…”

“And?”

”And we both like each other, and I kissed him, now I know what your thinking Skye - I do! But I didn’t mean to do it to hurt you at all, but… I was… Inspired.”

”Inspired?”

”Yeah, turns out Noah heard the entire thing since Ben leaving the tent, and he helped us out with our… Dilemma.”

”You kissed Ben,” Skye spoke in a somewhat hurt confused tone.

“Only very briefly.”

“Sean! You kissing me is what led to the whole triangle trouble in the first place,” Skye looked at him with disbelief, “and I chose you and then you-”

”I want to be with both of you, and Ben wants to be with both of us, and you… You like both of us, surely you want to be with both of us.”

”I do but…” Skye paused, thinking back to her brief conversation with Noah, “so that’s why Noah was asking me that earlier.”

”Asking you what?”

”If I’d be willing to date both you and Ben.”

Sean nodded slowly, a smile playing on his face, “and… What did you say to him?”

Skye smiled back to Sean and then turned around, she looked directly to Ben as if knowing he was there the entire time, “how long have you been there? Because I know Sean kept looking over to you.”

”Long enough,” Ben answered, he approached the pair, “wh-what did you say? To Noah?”

“I said that I’d be the luckiest girl to have both of you.”

Ben and Sean began grinning to each other, “that’s a yes?” Sean looked to Skye, the terrified expression he had before now being one of utter joy.

“Yes!”

“In which case,” Ben clapped his hands together, “I’ll see you two in a minute!” He winked to Skye and then quickly ran off.

Skye laughed as she watched him leave, “where’s he going?”

”Back to camp,” Sean smiled, “and we should take a nice stroll back, maybe we can talk about our adorable new boyfriend.”

Skye let out a giggle and leaned up against Sean, “I think this is going to be great.”

Ben was back at camp soon enough with a bright smile on his face, Danielle was the first to comment.

“I’ve never seen someone so happy to have peed in the woods.”

Noah looked up at Ben, knowing what must have happened, “so?”

”It’s a yes,” Ben laughed slightly, overcome with joy at the response they had received, “uh, Kaylee! Do you think you’d be up for a good morning sing song? When Sean and Skye get back?”

“Did he propose to her or something?” Danielle asked.

“No,” Ben shook his head, “you’ll find out when they get back.”

Josh pressed his lips together and tried to stop a big smile from showing on his face, “I’m so happy.”

Kaylee had gone to her tent and retrieved her guitar, pulling the strap over her shoulder and smiling to Ben, “I’m guessing you’ve got a song in mind?”

“What I’ve Been Wishin’ For,” he nodded.

“Nice.”

“Camping tradition,” Noah sang playfully.

Kaylee played around with the chords, reminding herself of what Oz had played on their previous camping trip. She sang the words quietly as though it were a rehearsal.

Noah had his arm around Ben, “so, I’m guessing you three are going to be sickeningly cute together, huh?”

“I hope so,” Ben laughed again, “I really actually want to be cute with them, make people smile at how cute we are together.”

”You’re getting sappy, and I hate it,” Noah grumbled, “oh,” he noticed the pair in question walking towards the camp, “here we go!”

Ben turned to Kaylee and gave her a nod, and she began to play the song, and Ben began to sing.

”The sky is full of possibilities

I know the stars above are listening, yeah, yeah

Just gotta look inside my heart I know

And not be scared to chase a little hope”

Skye’s excitement had shown when they reached the camp again, she smiled excitedly as she watched Ben sing, and then Sean quickly joined in - both of them remembering the song from the previous camping trip.

“Don’t want to live my life by playing safe

I’d rather risk it all and have some faith, yeah, yeah”

Ben and Sean then sang together, both of them smiling at Skye as they did so.

“Sometimes you think you’ve got it all to lose

But trust yourself and watch it all come true”

Just as they had done before, the whole group burst out into the chorus of the song, including Josh who had heard Skye singing the song around The Lodge before.

“I’ll close my eyes and give into gravity

And on this night yeah

The universe can hear me

I’ve got to take my chances

Forget the consequences

And keep hoping, thinking, dreaming

What I’ve been wishing for

 All I wanted

I’ll make it happen

With the night sky watching

I can just imagine

Forget the consequences

And keep hoping, thinking, dreaming”

Skye looked to Sean and Ben, holding each other their hands as she sang the next line alone.

“What I’ve been wishing for”

The song came to a stop there and Skye let out a squeal of excitement as she rushed in to hug Sean and Ben at the same time.

“I’ve got you both,” she smiled excitedly, “why didn’t we think of this to start off with? Things would have been so much easier.”

”They’ll be easier now,” Ben replied, he pressed a kiss on Skye’s forehead and then leaned up against Sean, “we’ll be the most powerful relationship at the Lodge,” he laughed.

”I’m confused,” Danielle spoke up, they looked around to see she had her hand in the air, “what’s going on here?”

”What was Shye has now evolved into…” Josh paused to think of something to call the trio, he didn’t come up with anything before Sean spoke up.

“Skye, Ben and I have decided to start a polyamorous relationship, we’re all dating.”

“Finally!” Kaylee shouted, “I’ve been saying that should happen since the triangle started, haven’t I, Noah?”

“Yep,” Noah nodded, “so when I heard Ben and Sean having a very touching conversation last night,” he paused to begin mimicking the boys, “oh Ben, you’re so cold, come close and cuddle me,” the group laughed when Noah’s Scottish accent was spot on for Sean, he then mimicked Ben’s voice, “oh Sean, you’re so warm, do you think I would have kissed you like I did earlier if I didn’t like you, oh,” he made awful kissing noises. Everybody continued to laugh at the boy mimicking Sean and Ben, “I told them that they should get into a poly relationship with Skye - and now here they are.”

”Thanks cupid,” Skye called across to Noah as she stood in the middle of her two boyfriends, “you have officially made me the happiest girl in the world.”

“You’re welcome.”

Sean, Skye, and Ben then moved to sit down on one of the logs together, Sean sat in the middle and kept his arms around both Skye and Ben.

“I never thought something like that would happen,” Danielle stared at the new relationship curiously, they were surprised when a smile show on her face, “but congratulations, I’m happy for you lot.”

“Thanks,” Skye spoke as she laughed, “I really thought Sean was going to break up with me when he asked to talk.”

“I’d never want to do that,” Sean whispered.

“Well,” Josh clapped his hands together, “we know what the mic drop moment of the next ‘Live At The Lodge’ will be!”

“I’m glad you’ve got new content because of us,” Ben commented, he looked at Josh and then turned to look into Sean’s eyes, “you know, you have really beautiful eyes.”

The rest of the group suddenly reacted with joking cries of ‘that’s disgusting’ and ‘get a room’, Noah threw a slice of bread at Ben and began laughing when it hit him directly in the face. Perfect aim.

“Throw bread at my boyfriend again,” Sean pointed to Noah, “I dare you.”

Noah looked Sean directly in the eyes and slowly reached down to the bag of bread that was by his feet, Sean gave him a ‘don’t do it’ look. Noah continued to do so, but this time aiming at Skye.

“Or my girlfriend!” Sean shouted.

Before they knew it, many pieces of food were being thrown between the group, even Danielle joined in eventually. In that moment they were all screaming and laughing, they were running around the area.

It was the perfect way to begin their day, and an even better way to end their camping trip.

They all had each other, and that was all that mattered.

[language576-blog]

Toward Changing the Language of Creative Writing Classrooms

New Post has been published on https://languageguideto.com/trending/toward-changing-the-language-of-creative-writing-classrooms/

Toward Changing the Language of Creative Writing Classrooms

I open the creative writing courses I teach with this vow: “I’ve seen far too many workshops become an indoctrination into an instructor’s taste—a semester-long exhortation to love what the instructor loves and to hate what he does too—and I am going to do my best to avoid that.” The statement is meant to protect students from the shame I felt when, in the first semester of an MFA program in fiction, I listened as the director mocked a writer whose books my parents, sister, and I all loved.

I absorbed the verdict as truth even though the disdain felt like snobbery: I would never tell someone they were wrong to love what they loved. It wasn’t that I wanted to please my professor—I’d already voiced my dissatisfactions with his course. What I wanted was to master the social mores of a culture that, in some unconscious and unexamined sense, I’d entered the MFA program to join: the culture of the tastemaking class.

It wasn’t despite but because of the shame I experienced that the first creative writing courses I taught reproduced the canon of that program almost exactly. I wanted to shield my students from the embarrassing ignorance I’d discovered in myself; I thought they should know what “good taste” entailed. A pedagogy course had introduced me to the problem of education as acculturation—a means of assimilating students into the dominant culture of a powerful class—but I discussed acculturation only with students in my composition courses, not in my creative writing workshops. I wasn’t yet paying attention to the connection between the problematic constructs of “bad grammar” and “bad taste.” I was still a student of “good taste” myself.

We should grab readers by the collar and never let go, I learned. Write stories so transporting our prose becomes invisible. Use as few words as possible to move the story forward as fast as we can. Never be sentimental, and avoid “purple prose.” Great emotion manifests only indirectly, we were told. When a frustrated classmate in my MFA program declared himself a maximalist, I chose to pity him. Poor guy: everybody knew restraint was superior, but he’d missed the boat.

Conventions of artistic apprenticeship demand that students be schooled to recognize, imitate, and aspire toward inherited ideals of greatness. So maybe it’s not so shocking that a writer might publish two acclaimed books before looking down at her own work and realizing that all along, she’d been pandering to old white men. This is what Claire Vaye Watkins unpacks in “On Pandering”: the troubling discovery that her “hard, unflinching, unsentimental prose,” and the details she wrote—like a “nubile young girl left for dead in the desert”—reflected her teachers’ ideals, not her own. As Tajja Isen describes in “Tiny White People Took Over My Brain,” such men had become the “imagined judge and jury”—if not also Watkins’s actual judge and jury, writing her first glowing reviews. This is one way conventional workshops ensure structures of power are reproduced.

Even praise, like any other drug, will eventually poison art. Like criticism, it makes us forget what art is for.

As a student in 2008, I participated in the workshop of a story about a Black man’s murder by white plainclothes police. The writer was the only Black person in what poets Juliana Spahr and Stephanie Young have called the creative writing industry’s “mainly white room.” Per convention, he was silent as we debated whether the story was “too familiar” or “unbelievable,” the obviousness of the racism it portrayed resulting in a kind of cliché. When we were finished, the writer blurted, “But it actually happened!” He’d been rewriting the 2006 murder of Sean Bell.

It’s difficult to capture in fiction the impact of a real event. But when I remember that workshop, I can’t help but feel that I joined in an effort, by a group of white readers, to muffle and ignore a story of anti-Black violence. Back then, I still believed race-blindness might be a virtue, and what my criticism boiled down to was this: The racism in that story was too overt. I didn’t want to believe it—that’s what “unbelievable” meant.

Aesthetic values don’t only include “hard” syntax and imagery of “nubile girls,” but also the varied shapes of narratives that readers welcome and pursue—from the fairy tale’s arc toward happy ending, to stories like my classmate’s that progress toward an uncomfortable truth. The one story that never gets called “too familiar” may be that of white upper-class domestic ennui. And if academia’s entrenchment of certain literary-aesthetic values needs further proof, consider the case of students like a quiet junior I met while teaching at the University of Iowa. He had come to Iowa especially to study writing, but had yet to meet a professor who seemed to respect the science fiction and fantasy he loved. He’d been silent in writing courses, he confessed, ever since a first-year instructor had told him she was tired of hearing his voice. University workshops, especially prestigious ones, are notoriously unkind to writers of so-called genre, like him—but you have to be on the inside, or close to it, to know this before entering the system yourself.

A few years after completing my MFA in fiction, I enrolled in an MFA program in nonfiction. There I learned new codes for “good” work. Previously I’d internalized the ideal of a reading experience so effortless you forgot you were reading, but in the nonfiction MFA I met readers for whom the effort of an effortful read was a pleasure in itself. In the fiction MFA, Do Not Bore Me had been law, but my new professors praised meandering prose. Before, my professors talked book deals in terms of advances; now, my program director exhorted us never to sacrifice a book’s integrity by selling it for more than $10K. These differences were a product of genre, yes, but they were also the result of different communities and their values. In the fiction MFA, we read through a consumer’s lens and aspired toward commercial success. In the nonfiction MFA, earning money from writing, or aiming to please an impatient readership, was viewed with ambivalence.

I am convinced that we can teach creative writing without the language of failure or success, criticism or praise.

A friend introduced me to during a conversation about how difficult it was not to internalize the aesthetic values of instructors with the power to grant degrees, fellowships, recommendations, and blurbs. Lerman, a dancer, offers a value-neutral approach to “getting useful feedback on anything you make, from dance to dessert.” The method, she says, “enables a group of people to uncover their various aesthetic and performance values,” making them “aware of the numerous ways people see art, and the array of value systems underlying their differing visions.”

Lerman’s four-step, capital-P “Process” begins with what she calls “statements of meaning.” These are responses to the question “What was stimulating, surprising, evocative, memorable, touching, meaningful for you” about the work? This is followed by questions from the artist to responders; neutral questions from responders to artist (not “Why’s the cake so dry?” but “What kind of texture were you going for?”); and opinions the artists may choose to hear or not. (“I have an opinion about the texture. Do you want to hear it?”)

I wanted to follow Lerman’s example of making individual students’ values more transparent. But I knew that many undergraduates are determined to experience the creative writing workshop they’ve imagined: a silent writer taking in the readers’ chorus. I also wanted a paradigm that would apply equally to discussions of published and in-progress work. The solution I came up with is an adaptation of a stubbornly entrenched model, not an overhaul. It’s a strategy for addressing craft, giving feedback, and conducting workshops, when I’m not sure that addressing craft and conducting workshops should be all, or even most, of what a writing course does. I call the practice “value-transparent,” since neutrality is a problematic goal, and because I hope the exercise might help students recognize and trust their own values.

I’m not convinced that my way of teaching is ideal. But I am convinced that we can teach creative writing without the language of failure or success, criticism or praise, and that doing so will help us avoid reproducing systemic oppressions, damaging students psychologically, and stunting creative work.

The experiment begins with two questions: What happens if we take value language out of the classroom, avoiding words like good, working, strengths, better, improve? Can we abolish our faith in writing that is “good” or “bad”? The result, I hope, is that our conversations about craft can be reinvented and reinvigorated as conversations that remind us what art is for.

*

“Write the story (or essay, or poem) you want to read in the world.” My courses begin with this invitation for students to create their own goals: for the student who loves being entertained to figure out how to entertain; for the student who loves difficult prose to examine how such work engages him. As they share examples of writing they love, students begin to articulate their aesthetic values, which they’ll return to in discussions of published and in-progress texts, and later use as touchstones when they revise their work.

Our workshops begin as our conversations about published work do, with Lerman’s statements of meaning. “Meaning,” in this case, doesn’t refer to interpretation: The approach treats interpretation as part, but not all, of the experience a piece of writing exerts. Students are pleased to learn that the work they’ve produced resonates in some way, and reorienting the conversation around meaning, rather than praise or criticism, also reorients students around socially motivated reasons to write and share work—to create an experience for someone else.

Conversations conducted in the language of positives and negatives make the writer’s feelings the conversational subtext; the writer becomes the conversation’s implicit subject. Worse, such conversations habituate students to writing for extrinsic rather than intrinsic reward: for pats on the back. And copious pedagogical research demonstrates that a focus on extrinsic reward reduces risk-taking and hamstrings the quality of creative work. “When people do things in order to earn rewards, they become less creative; and when they do things that they think will be evaluated in some way, they become less creative; and when they do things to please someone else, they become less creative,” write two scholars about this widely observed effect.

This is why workshops oriented around praise and criticism don’t only attract narcissists—a word I use in the sense of one who is unsure of his own worth, and so seeks external esteem—but also create narcissists. They unsettle a writer’s inherent sense of worth, and divert attention away from intrinsic reasons for making art. Even praise, like any other drug, will eventually poison art. Like criticism, it makes us forget what art is for.

When I remember that workshop, I can’t help but feel that I joined in an effort, by a group of white readers, to muffle and ignore a story of anti-Black violence.

Our conversations about craft might remind us what art is for by shifting away from what “works” toward what actually happens when we read. Does your heart race? Do you cry? Think? Forget that you’re reading? Pick up the dictionary to look up a word? More important: Which elements of the text, and of the world the text inhabits, determine your response? When a student is asked to move away from value-laden language in conversations about creative work, she is being asked to resist a set of nebulous, arbitrary, class- and culturally-coded aesthetic values, to study the reading process, and to define her values for herself.

“Should we have no standards?” is one response I’ve heard when I explain that I never say, “Great job,” never put checkmarks in the margins of student work. “No,” I reply, “we should not.” As teachers, we might have standards for how students approach their work, for how they read, observe the reading process, define their aesthetic values, and revise in pursuit of those goals—and we might use these standards to evaluate student performance, when we must. But “standards” inevitably narrow the scope of what writers envision as consequential elements of their work.

“But I want to know if people liked what I wrote,” students might plead. I’ll ask what they mean by “like.” “If they wanted to keep reading,” one says. “If they feel moved,” says another. These are qualities we can discuss without risking that the writer’s objectives are obscured. “You don’t believe that Faulkner is good and Danielle Steele bad?” is another question I’ve heard. I point out that different people—or the same person, on different days—might choose to read one author instead of the next. Their bodies of literature fulfill different needs.

After statements of meaning, students and I spend most of our time pointing to details of a text—authorial choices, conscious or not—and examining their effects. This differs from convention only in that avoiding the language of explicit value pushes us to examine the reading experience with a mindful attention that results in the discovery of our own values. It’s not easy to avoid saying, “This is great” or “This works.” We slip up all the time. The learning happens when students are asked, and I ask myself, “What do you mean?”

*

Teaching this way has helped me identify my own (ever-shifting) aesthetic values. But the more interesting discovery has been how obviously tied these are to my political and social values. When I long to convince students to “unpack” or “complicate” the tidy happy endings of their personal narratives, for instance, it’s because I want them to reject dominant cultural narratives that obscure what I see as important truths. But to what degree should I not only teach in a way that reflects my values—as this approach reflects a desire to foster inclusivity, mutual trust, and students’ self-worth—but in a way that encourages students to adopt my values? The solution I’ve found is not to hide these values, but to frame them as such—personally and politically informed—and to be clear that I won’t be using my position as instructor to privilege my views, that students will have the space to identify, explain, and find authority in their own values.

That a class might arrive at a shared value system isn’t surprising: Aesthetics—like grammar, fashion, and politics—serve as markers of belonging.

Even in a course where aesthetic values are relentlessly questioned, I’ve observed that a collective value system nevertheless tends to emerge. In one class, students spoke of their “engagement” with each other’s texts in laudatory tones; to keep the conversation in line with my goals, I needed to ask what “engaging” meant, and how a text worked toward that end. Was “engagement” always desirable? Did “engagement” ever happen at the expense of something else? Maybe “engagement” meant distraction, escapism, a turn away from the contemplative and toward commercialism’s empty thrill, we thought—but then again, maybe “engagement” could also refer to the surprises of poetry and the challenges of conceptually thorny prose.

That a class might arrive at a shared value system isn’t surprising: Aesthetics—like grammar, fashion, and politics—serve as markers of belonging. And the values we identify as our own aren’t fixed. I doubt I’d love the author my professor once derided if I read his books today, and that’s not only because my aesthetics have changed, but also because I have changed, and my ethics have changed—partly as a result of the conversations I joined when I started my MFAs. To be clear, this doesn’t mean that author’s work doesn’t hold value; its value to certain readers, including readers I love, is plain. Instead, this is evidence of how unfixed our aesthetic values are, dependent far more on a reader and her context than on the text itself.

Which brings me back to the question of what art is for. I won’t attempt a universalizing response. But I suspect that there is an ethical dimension, conscious or not, to most artists’ work. If you ask a beginning writer why they write, there’s a good chance they’ll respond along these lines: to voice what is unheard, to comfort or move a stranger, as a form of protest, a crying-out against or in accord. Even art created solely in pursuit of pleasure arises from the imperative that pleasure, too, deserves space—like outrage or grief, pleasure is something artists can make.

The conventional workshop tends to distract students from these motives, graduating writers who wonder whether publishing a book will change their lives, instead of whether publishing a book might change the lives of others; writers who wonder whether their work is any good, instead of whether it does any good. I’ve heard debut writers say that they can’t wait for the first year of a book’s life to be over, that the barrage of award cycles and best-of lists, the sense of constant assessment, feels torturous. They struggle to follow the advice of writer and Iowa Writers’ Workshop director Lan Samantha Chang, whose plea that writers protect their “inner lives” rather than fall prey to the career-driven concerns so “toxic to creativity” is difficult to follow not least because the institutional structures that ostensibly support emerging writers do so little to protect their inner lives.

Maybe, though, writing programs and workshops could train writers to focus their energy somewhere other than assessment, prizes, and reviews. Maybe, in refusing to take aesthetic values for granted, in uncovering and starting conversations about the ethics these aesthetics manifest, creative writing classrooms could become spaces for considering the role of writers and the work they create as actors in a public space, agents of the sort of social change that begins when a reader is changed.

The final question my students and I address in our conversations is “How else could this be?” This is an invitation to imagine a variety of paths toward the next version of the work, and the experiences these alternatives might produce. The question has its origins in the traditional workshop, but I encourage students to imagine alternatives outside of what conventions of “improvement” would suggest. Our job as reading writers is to remember that the story can always be told differently. I spell it out on the blackboard: our job is to practice imagining change.

A version of this essay originally appeared in the fall 2018 edition of Poets & Writers.

Source

Toward Changing the Language of Creative Writing Classrooms

[junker-town]

Phil Kessel trade rumors seem baseless, which makes them pointless for now

Beliefs are opinions until they have sources.

This is how it starts.

Without Phil Kessel, the Penguins probably don’t win back-to-back Stanley Cups. Less than two months after that incredible feat, Pittsburgh columnists are floating the idea of a Kessel trade.

Dear, dear readers: don’t fall for this.

The most recent, and most egregious, was this column from Ron Cook of the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette titled “Don't be surprised if the Penguins trade Phil Kessel.” A fascinating premise, no? Cook used Penguins assistant coach Rick Tocchet’s departure for Arizona as a springboard for a “this is the end for Kessel” theory.

The problem? None of it was sourced, and therefore much of it is reckless. With all due respect to Cook and the Post-Gazette, this deserves the Fire Joe Morgan treatment.

Shall we? We’ll start a few paragraphs into it.

I believe Phil Kessel will be traded. It might not happen this week or this month or even this offseason. But I believe it will happen sooner rather than later.

I know “fake news” is all the rage right now, but I think most people would agree that “sources” is more trustworthy than “I believe” when it comes to reporting.

It was clear in June, by the end of the Penguins’ second consecutive Stanley Cup run, that the organization wasn’t thrilled with Kessel.

Oh, wow. That would certainly be something! What makes that clear?

He scored 23 goals in 82 games during the regular season, not nearly enough for a player with his marvelous shooting skills. He had a huge goal — one of the most significant of the postseason — to beat Ottawa, 1-0, in Game 2 of the Eastern Conference final but scored just two more goals in the final 11 playoff games. Even though he had 23 points in the 25 postseason games, it was hard to find anyone in organization to say he was playing well.

Cook has no quotes from “anyone in the organization” to back that up. Even an anonymous quote from a front office source saying “I don’t think he was playing well” would’ve sufficed.

I wrote this in a column on the internet, so I am to be believed. Share this with many people. Spread my narrative.

We have yet to find anything here that is not solely Cook’s opinion.

My belief is Evgeni Malkin wasn’t thrilled to play on the same line with Kessel. And Sidney Crosby? Sullivan acknowledged Crosby and Kessel have no chemistry together. None.

There’s that “belief” again. It irks me when columnists write about how a player feels about a teammate without direct quotes or evidence. Are we supposed to believe that Cook FaceTimes Malkin after games?

And if so, why are these not available for public consumption? They would be great!

As for that last point, here’s some actual quotes from Sullivan after Crosby and Kessel started clicking in February 2016. From Cook’s own paper, no less!

“It was more, I think, my gut feeling that maybe this might work,” coach Mike Sullivan said Friday after practice at Consol Energy Center. “Sometimes, when players don’t play together for a while and you put them together there’s a spark. Our hope was that that would occur.

“Phil, obviously, is a goal-scorer. He can really shoot the puck. I think regardless who Sid plays with, he is a guy who is going to make everybody around him better. That’s the nature of his game. So, we felt that the time was probably right, given the fact that we struggled to generate goal-scoring a few games in a row. Maybe if we tweaked it a little bit, we might get a spark?”

Maybe that magic dissipated this season. I’ll grant you that. But Cook saying Sullivan believes the two have no chemistry (NONE!!!!) is intellectually dishonest.

It’s no secret that Kessel often drives Sullivan crazy.

If it’s no secret, where’s the public evidence to back that up? When you’re covering a player or coach, you can’t just toss out what they think of one another into the public sphere without proof. If you’re going to abandon good journalistic faith to serve a narrative, though, at least try to hide it by saying “I’ve heard” or “those close to the team say.”

I’m just trying to help you, Ron.

I’m guessing he has produced the same reaction all the way up the company ladder, from Jim Rutherford to Mario Lemieux.

YOU’RE GUESSING? THEN DON’T PUT IT IN YOUR COLUMN, RON.

It’s no secret that Kessel hates puppies. In fact, I’m guessing Kessel hates all kinds of babies. Human babies. Kittens. Bear cubs. Tadpoles. I wrote this in a column on the internet, so I am to be believed. Share this with many people. Spread my narrative. Vindicate my opinions and sense of self-importance in this market.

Cook goes on to talk about how Rick Tocchet was quite close to Kessel, and how important he was to Kessel’s success in Pittsburgh. And here, he does use quotes. Convenient how he uses actual reporting when it serves his narrative.

And, to be fair, there’s a decent argument in here. If Kessel struggles, it’ll be worth asking him if he misses Tocchet. Then we can hear his answer and let that speak for itself.

Instead, we’re going to judge this whole situation months ahead of actually having results to judge. Cook ends Sullivan’s quote with a note about Kessel and Tocchet as proof he’s onto something here.

“In particular, he has a real good relationship with Phil. They spend a lot of time together.”

Tocchet didn’t just help keep Kessel’s head in the game. He served as a buffer between Kessel and Sullivan.

Don’t underestimate the importance of that role.

I won’t, and neither should fans. But let’s not overestimate it, either. Not without some concrete evidence that Tocchet was the only thing keeping Sullivan and Kessel from butting heads. I see none of that here.

The last part of Cook’s column is actually important. Kessel might be moved because of his contract. That’s a legitimate reason to think about this scenario. It has facts behind it. He makes $6.8 million a season. Malkin and Crosby already take up a ton of cap space, and soon the Penguins will need to sign Matt Murray. GM Jim Rutherford has never been one to hold onto players when he can move them to improve the present and future (see: the James Neal trade).

It is more than likely Kessel doesn’t live out his contract in Pittsburgh (it ends in 2021-22, after all). The only concrete reason to think that, though, is financial roster practicality. Not the personal relationships between Kessel and his team.

That’s nothing but speculation resting on the flimsiest of bases.

Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images

Good luck to the Penguins trying to move him.

Good luck to the team continuing to have to deal with him without Tocchet.

I think they’ll be fine on both counts, Ron.

Columnists are different than beat reporters. Beat reporters usually stick to the facts they’ve corroborated with sources. Columnists offer opinions. Sometimes the two professions cross paths, but not often.

I don’t know Cook personally. I’ve never heard of him before now. He might be a nice man who just wrote a bad column. But he writes for the Pittsburgh Post-Gazette, a reputable newspaper that also employs the likes of Sean Gentille and other reporters who do good work with sources and fact-based analysis. Stuff like this does those people a disservice.

It is, unfortunately, all-too common in the sports world. A quick Google search for “Phil Kessel Toronto media” will show how this exact scenario played out before he was run out of the Leafs’ organization. Or just look at the numerous articles that assassinated Tyler Seguin’s character before the Bruins traded him to Dallas.

The personality sniping as P.K. Subban’s run in Montreal came to an end were arguably worse. “Reports” said Max Pacioretty was basically conspiring against him and a radio host in Montreal cited locker room conversations that were relayed to him as proof Subban was a bad teammate. Just floated out there.

In each of those three examples, you’d find pockets of fandom that stood behind the team’s decision to move on. Many of them fall back on these “reports” about personality, teammate infighting or general drama.

Columnists, beat writers, radio hosts — their voices are wielded as truth by much of their audiences, regardless of the actual reporting behind their words. It takes one column like this from Cook to plant the seed of negative public opinion against Kessel. Whether he intends that or not (and I don’t think he does) is beside the point.

So I (hopelessly) wish these people would wield their words more carefully. Or at least frame their opinions as such instead of shrouding them in phrases like “believe” or “guessing” that kinda-sorta imply you might know something your readers don’t. And if you do, then say so.

Have a little respect for the people you cover and the audience who places their trust in you.