#also. when you factor in which of these days had bad weather it kinda makes you wonder whether ol drac was planning at all

[vickyvicarious]

As I was talking about the Demeter today, I decided to make a graph for anyone else who has been having trouble visualizing just how bad these attacks are.

Not only is the time between attacks getting shorter each time, but the number of crew available to actually sail the ship is getting drastically smaller.

There's also a second graph under the cut with spoilers for the entire journey, if anyone's interested:

(The ship doesn't wash ashore for several more days, so I just set the captain's death the day after his last entry. It's definitely possible he stayed alive a day or two more, though, and just stayed lashed to the wheel and didn't write anything else.)

[unreasonablebehaviour]

Pls take this random assortment of dsmp “hcs” (which is actually just me rambling out my ass but we love to see it//)

—————

- Sam just like gets really fuccn energetic in a thunderstorm... like just hyperactive but also like v strong..... also immune to electrocution :)

- He’s also like all creepers are, shit terrified of cats which is v funny considering he’s sorta friends with ant

- Even funnier if u want to take the ‘canon’ fact of ant being a whole ass 20 feet tall

- Speaking of ant and this absolutely isn’t a hc but I just find it very funny that people draw humanoid versions of all of the non human characters EXCEPT for ant who I have only ever seen drawn as a cat ghgh

- Bads skin colour is deadass vantablack like if he holds his hand in front of his face it just seemingly vanishes and you can’t pick out where his hand ends and face begins

- I want him to look terrifying.... like absolutely massive a complete unit of a man, sharp ass teeth, sharp spikes and horns, sharp claws, white glowing eyes........... but he’s just like “owo” at all times ghgh

- Skeppy has chronic pain from the diamonds growing inside his body and out of his skin... sometimes he ramps up how cheerful he is to try and hide how much pain he’s in that day

- Ranboo’s body is longer on his enderman side and so he physically can’t stand up straight unless his shorter leg is on a slope

- He’s half silverfish... mainly cause I think that’s funny like hehe both those and endermen are linked to the end/stronghold and can break blocks

- This does also mean he joins bad and skeppy in the ‘help I am v spiky’ club tho

- Also also like absolutely none of his clothes fit cause his limbs are so disproportionately long so rip his ankles in the tundra I guess

- Shortza supremacy

- Sapnap... blaze boy..... I want him to steam when he angy...... v warm to the touch and all of the dteam lay on top of him when it’s cold lmao

- George is like some weird ass mushroom man.... like he looks completely human for the most part but he’s not he just never tells anyone cause he has the mentality of ‘well no one ever asked?’ Or ‘it didn’t seem important’

- When he’s in danger the surrounding plants try to help him (like lmao there’s a war goin on? Nah just take a nap and miss out so you won’t get hurt :) )

- Imagine how much funnier the lmanberg saga would be if schlatt just looked like his profile icon rather than his mc skin.... just cute tiny sheep man in a sweater... I think it’d be like that one gif of the teddy bear slamming its head onto the table to acquire angy eyebrows

- Dreams has symmetrical white patches down the front of skin... kinda like vitiligo but not? Like deadass pure white

- I also kinda just imagine him having creepy solid black eyes ghgh (haha it’s cause he’s possessed)

- He’s immortal and kinda just snapped tbh like half the reason his actions are so manipulative, selfish and drastic are both because he’s so desperate to have control over things in his life and because low-key he kinda hopes that people will find a way to kill him off or get rid of the thing possessing him (I just want a happy ending :( make him not evil pls my poor heart can’t take a non happy for everyone ending//)

- Puffy is fluffy :) I will not elaborate further

- Revived people have creepy blacked out maybe kinda glowing eyes.... paler skin.... scars and phantom pains from their injuries....

- Phil just deadass found Wilbur hiding inside a fridge and took him home with him... wil just assumed the fridge was his mom and Phil found it too funny to correct him

- Tubbo is a moobloom hybrid and all the bees love him ok 💛

- I think it would be funny if dream just deadass can’t see shit through his mask rap considering all the feats he has done

- Phil is v old and ‘wise’ but is also fairly detached from reality as a result cause he can’t really remember what earlier parts of his life were like to understand how other people act

- I also think it’d be hilarious if he ironically had like 0 life skills... cooking? He’s shit at it. Sleep schedule? Never heard of it. Taxes? Isn’t that a state?

- The floors in the tundra trios homes are constantly being ruined by techno having hooves and Phil and maybe ranboo having claws... like u no how u can like dent and scrape a wooden floor with heels? Kinda like that

- Speaking of those three I also think it’d be very funny if they all collectively became useless or started fighting in the presence of a gold block cause like 👀 ‘oo gold/hehe shiny/hold block’ mentality

- Quackity can shapeshift.... but he’s like a ditto and always has the :] face.... mmm also maybe keeps any scars he has

- His ability to control this decreases the more he dies

- So like u could he talking to him and just suddenly he looks like someone else or like a weird mishmash of people and just hasn’t noticed lmao totally not freaky at all

- Literally non of the tundra trio are equipped for the weather like u have someone from the hot af nether, bird man who’d realistically be prone to hypothermia and someone who’s allergic to water like lmao why do yall live here what is wrong with you

- I want niki to just be very exasperated by this fact

- I want her to bake goods for her friends... tailored to their tastes.... cheer up food :)

- Also i forget when she changed her skin but I think it’d be very funny if she dyed her hair pink as an intimidation factor to tommy cause she knows he dislikes techno

- Puffy ily but I do not trust you with Tommy after the disaster that was bbh and skeppys relationship counselling

- The concept of the totems being foolish’s children is very funny to me like just the implication that he just leaves his kids in random chests for people to steal and that when they witness someone die they just explode with revive energy or something like w h a t

- Ghostbur either isn’t actually Wilbur and is just some entity pretending to be him hence the ‘poor memory’ OR him and limbo Wilbur are two halves of one entity

- I just find it v sus that he’s the only ghost that’s ever shown up... and regularly at that

- mmm tubbo hard of hearing.... relies on reading lips the best he can when to help clarify what people are saying but he can hear people well enough if they raise their voice quite loud

- cursed hc but what if ash and Zachary were somehow michael decendants and they like porkums cause he’s either originally a family friend or he just reminds them of stuff

- Ok half of these aren’t even hcs anymore and is just me rambling but who let Karl be in charge of the time travel he has such strong himbo energy

- That being said villain Karl when 👀//

- Why is tubbo like one of the smartest most accomplished people on the sever... he’s like 17..... like my man has been president, developed a new form of fast travel, has a family, developed a nuclear weapons program by himself, launched a man into space, developed a whole town and more .... like who let him have this much power he can barely read//

- I think it’d be funny if techno was just really bad at strategy games..... like ok technically he’s not bad at them but like he just spends 4 days analysing every last minute detail every round to optimise his chances of winning//

- I feel like people don’t give Jack enough credit for the fact he cheated death using nothing but spite

[the-lincyclopedia]

* adapted from @librajiminn on twitter

A fun game to celebrate 2020 ending! The rules are simple: recommend your favorite OMGCP fics so everyone can enjoy them, while trying to fill in enough slots to get a bingo!

This is going to get long, so I’ll put it under a cut. Also, I’m too orderly to try to shoehorn my favorite fics into these particular prompts, so I’m just going to go right to left, top to bottom, taking the prompts literally, until it’s bedtime. 

1. first fic you bookmarked: “Here Comes the Sun” by @doggernaut, 19k, G, no warnings, Zimbits

For the past month, the man with the baby and the sad blue eyes has been stopping in for a cup of coffee an hour before closing. He always sits in an overstuffed chair in the corner and drinks his coffee while his baby sleeps next to him in the stroller. Sometimes he pulls a book out from the diaper bag he carries with him; other times he just stares straight ahead as if in a daze. He never asks for a refill, always respectfully gathers his things and leaves ten minutes before the shop officially closes. Eric desperately wants to ask him what his story is. 

My notes: I read Check Please over the course of two days in June of 2019. On the second day, right after catching up, I looked at @peppermintfeminist‘s AO3 bookmarks and found a fic by @doggernaut. Then I read just about everything @doggernaut had ever posted. It was glorious. This fic in particular is so cute. 

2. most recent fic you bookmarked: “Flight Check” by @edgarallanrose, 15k, E, no warnings (though there is a creepy/handsy guy at a club to watch out for), primarily Zimbits with most of the other popular pairings in the background

Flight attendant Eric “Bitty” Bittle has been working his way up at Samwell Airlines for the past four years, and his new promotion has provided him the opportunity to work with a brand-new crew. Unfortunately for Bitty, that crew includes an incredibly handsome but equally grumpy pilot, Captain Jack Zimmermann, who seems to want nothing to do with Bitty. Even worse, Jack refuses to eat any of Bitty's baked goods. Will Bitty be able to win the captain over? Or is there another reason Jack has been avoiding Bitty?

My notes: There are a lot of great things about this fic--Jack’s character arc, Lardo’s dialogue, that scene in Seattle--but the reason I bookmarked it is the scene where Bitty’s basically slut-shaming himself and Jack gently but firmly tells Bitty not to do that and that it was the creep’s fault. 

3. a fic that made you cry actual tears: “a little bit more” by @ivecarvedawoodenheart, 14k, T, no warnings, Holsom

“I just wanted,” he says, “a perfect day. With you. Because it’s our last day together and our last day being here as undergrads and we’re kissing the ice tonight, and the weather’s supposed to be beautiful, and you’re moving tomorrow and Holtzy I just — I don’t want to be missing you already.” Holster wipes his eyes before he even realizes he’s crying. Behind him, Ransom sighs. “One more day where everything’s the same,” he says, feeling around blindly for Rans’ fingers. He feels Rans nod as he laces their fingers together. “Yeah. Yeah, Rans. I’d like that a lot.” __________________________

Holsom after graduation and throughout the subsequent six months after Holster signs to an expansion team in Oregon, and realizes his feelings for Ransom too late. Holster's POV :) kinda angsty, but there's a happy ending :)

Inspired by shitty-check-please-aus: "Holster moves to Oregon while Ransom stays on the east coast. The time difference makes it difficult to talk and one day they wake up and realize they aren’t best bros anymore."

My notes: I almost never cry at fics. I searched “tears” in my fandom email account and only a handful of my fic comments came up, but Syd is a literal master of Holsom angst, always. 

4. longest fic you’ve read: “Like Real People Do” by @xiaq, 153k, M, No Warnings, Kent Parson x OC

Parson gestures with his spoon toward Hawke. “So am I allowed to ask about the service dog or is that not PC?”

“My medical history is more of a 3rd date conversation," Eli says.

“Oh? Why’s that?”

“Because. No one sticks around afterward and I like to live in glorious denial for a short period beforehand.”

It comes out more self-deprecating than he intended.

Parson looks…thoughtful. “Well, does this count as one or two?

“Pardon?”

“This. Ice cream. I mean, technically it’s a second location, but still the same night. So is this one date or two?”

“One,” Eli says firmly. “If it’s happening within the same three-hour period.”

“You’re the expert,” Parson says, which, he’s really, really, not, but ok.

“So still two dates to go then?” Parson continues.

“I—what?”

“We’ve got a roadie coming up but then we’re home for almost two weeks. When does your semester start?”

“You want to do this again?” Eli asks.

Parson stops idly twirling his spoon.

“You don’t?”

He does, Eli realizes. He really does. Because apparently he actually likes Kent fucking Parson.

My notes: Okay, this fic has my whole entire heart. I’ve read it multiple times in its entirety, and it’s almost twice as long as the full-length novel I’m querying. Eli is one of my favorite OCs I’ve ever seen in a fic (probably tied with Damian Navarro and Ari Paxton, both brainchildren of @fozmeadows). Anyway, this is probably going to be the next thing @themeaningoflifeischeese and I read out loud to each other. 

5. a fic you almost didn’t read: “when all else fails (i’ll still be right here)” by @whoacanada, 6k, T, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings (and I don’t remember if I think there’s stuff to warn for, sorry), Zimbits

The National Hockey League is resurrecting the Quebec City Nordiques, and the expansion draft hits the Falconers much harder than expected.

My notes: Given that this was for @omgcpheartbreakfest, I was worried this would be all angst--all hurt and no comfort. Which made me sad, because I love @whoacanada‘s writing but I wasn’t up for reading unresolved angst. But @doggernaut reblogged the fic, so I asked if the ending was sad, and it’s NOT! There is quite a bit of angst but the ending isn’t sad. 

6. a fic that convinced you on a ship you didn’t ship before: “it drops with the gravity of rain” by @geniusorinsanity, 16k, T, Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings (attempted sexual assault by an OC), Nurseydex

It happens like this:

“I don’t--this is a bad idea,” Dex says, his lips still tingling, his hands shaking on Nursey’s hips where he’s shoved him away. “This is a really bad idea, Nurse. I can’t--We can’t do this.”

And there’s hurt in Nursey’s eyes and his bottom lip is swollen from Dex’s teeth, but he says, “Okay.” And then, “It’s chill, Dex. Just friends, then.”

It happens like this:

“Actually,” Nursey says, talking more to his granola than to them, “I kind of have a date.”

It happens like this:

When Nursey calls, Dex almost doesn’t pick up the phone.

My notes: So I was really confused and a little disturbed when I first found out people shipped Nursey and Dex. Like, Dex just wasn’t someone I trusted. But then I was moving out of the house I’d been living in, and I needed stuff to listen to as I packed and cleaned, and @khashanakalashtar‘s podfics came in clutch. I gave this one a try even though I didn’t like Dex, and @geniusorinsanity blew. My. Mind.

7. a fic from an unusual POV: “Excuse Me While I Kiss This Guy” by @porcupine-girl, 8k, G, no warnings, Zimbits

Jesse Snowden knows all the best restaurants and gourmet food shops in Providence, so when Jack Zimmermann starts bringing in incredible baked goods, he's eager to find out where the new bakery is. When he meets the man behind the pies, he decides that there's no way Jack could really appreciate this guy's talent the way he does, even if they are friends. He starts hiring Jack's chef on the side, in the hopes that maybe once Bitty's done with college he'll come work for Jesse.

Good thing there is absolutely no way whatsoever that Jesse could possibly be misinterpreting this situation.

My notes: Oh my gosh this is so funny. The secondhand embarrassment factor is huge, but like, the hilarity. 

8. a comfort fic: “Don’t Need to Compromise” by @khashanakalashtar, 11k, E, no warnings, PB&J

“Hey,” said Kent, unknowingly setting off a chain of events that would change his entire life, “you said that like you know from experience. Have you done this before?”

Jack and Bitty have not done polyamory before, but they do know Ransom and Holster’s polycule, which contains March.

And March?

March is trans.

My notes: I’m in love with @khashanakalashtar‘s entire Directionverse series (and honestly a lot of their other writing), but “Don’t Need to Compromise,” which is the second fic in the series, just makes my heart swell especially much. The gender feels are so good, and all the characters are so good to each other, and when I listen to this on walks I have to actively try not to arm-flap. 

9. a fic you wish could be a movie: “Ice Crew Please!” by @petals42, 61k, T, no warnings, Zimbits

Jack Zimmermann was drafted first by the Providence Falconers when he was eighteen years old. He is good at hockey. Very good. His team won the Cup his second year and now, in his third year, they are looking good. Jack should be on top of the world. And some days, he manages to convince himself he is.

He’s not, of course.

Enter the Ice Crew.

AKA: The Ice Crew AU

My notes: This fic has its tender moments, but what I love most about it is the sheer goofiness. Ransom and Holster and Shitty are HILARIOUS in this one. I’d love to see their shenanigans in movie form. 

10. a WIP you read as it was updated: “Something Borrowed” by @fozmeadows, 48k, M, no warnings, Kent x OC

All things considered, Ari did his best to prepare himself for the advent of Kent Parson, Potentially Difficult Housemate and New Star Liney. The problem was that his best was an idiot.

My notes: So technically I didn’t start reading this until the first 19 chapters were posted. But there was still plenty of anticipation for the final few chapters. And like, @fozmeadows (as mentioned above) makes EXCELLENT OCs. And I love how their fics consistently convey that having bad things happen to you does not mark the end of your story. 

Okay, it’s bedtime, so have 10 excellent fics. I got bingo twice, because I went straight across on the top two rows.

[sims2squared]

OMG! I'm so sorry! Fortunately, you have a guardening angel. I didn't know that migraine can be that bad. What's the cause of it? Do you even know? Just curious. Please answer only when you're comfortable with sharing. Take care!

Oh yea, migraines can totally be that bad! And the brain certainly makes things interesting when it's hurting sometimes, I'll tell ya. I've been struggling with migraines for... 20-ish years, and despite a whole bunch of medications I pretty much have one constantly. I use an app called Migraine Buddy to track them (as best I can). Currently I have an average pain of 5.8 out of 10, and in the past month I have had only 3 days where the pain was low enough that I didn't log anything (below a 4). There's also a thing called a Migraine Impact Disability Assessment Score, and mine is currently 36 which falls into the Grade IV Severe Disability category. I expect what happened to me the other day was what is called a Hemiplegic Migraine. Of course, I haven't had a chance to talk to my Neurologist yet about what happened and need him to confirm.... but I used to work in Healthcare (been off work 2 years because of the migraine) as non-medical staff, and my mom is a retired nurse... so I have an okay idea of how to sort through medical information. But as of right now, my official diagnosis is just "migraine". I don't think it's fully known what causes migraines. I get mine with weather changes, and also just for funsies. I have had several good knocks to the noggin over the years, so that might be a factor as well. I do have a couple good things going for me though.... I'm Canadian, so no medical bills. I have a new family doctor, new neurologist, and new physiotherapist; all of which are young guys who are keen on staying up to date. And I had good disability insurance through my work, so I've been able to stay home with almost full pay for the last 2 years (fingers crossed my January review goes in my favour). Unfortunately, the dark side of it all is that I basically have 1 IRL friend left (that I'm never up to seeing anyway), and the majority of my family seems to be tired of it all. Migraines can come with fun things like irritability and confusion, which can cause you to lash out, so I can kinda see why my circumstances wear on them. All in all, it's a one minute at a time thing for me.... and I'll be okay.

[uncertaininnit]

who wants to read an essay about my relationship with simping/an appreciation(/simping lol) post about Will+Eret and also seperately tommyinnit that was written at 4:22 am and then added to the queue because i love the queue system also fun fact i pronounced the word ‘queue’ as ‘cc-week’ for like an entire year and idk why anyways

lets just jump into it

lol

so. if somebody was to ask me who my favorite mcyt is, i would think about it for a moment and eventually answer with either Wilbur or Eret. and i think that is purely out of simping instinct or whatever the fuck. 

to start, Wilbur; the prettiest man, period. i do not take constructive criticism. he is literally gorgeous and i get so mad at him for putting himself down all the time because he doesnt deserve the shit, especially not from himself. he is 24 years old and has the lowest self-esteem out of anybody i can think of. i want to yell in his face all the time. i want to tell him simps are the same species as him, and they have REASONS to simp. if you keep seeing appreciation posts about yourself (which im sure he does) that means people APPRECIATE YOU and WANT YOU to feel APPRECIATED. 

anyway, back to simping. let’s start from the top. his goddamn hair. it is, it is, and i just took a deep breath, so pretty. maybe it isnt the hair itself, probably, but the way it is done. wavy dark brown hair all floofy in the front. and he is constantly messing with it, which is THE cutest thing. when he is excited, he moves a lot, and his hair moves with him and gets messed up and ahhhcvkvyr moving on.

his face? lets start with his eyes. they are so pretty. i think my opinion on eyes is probably weird, and allow me to explain why. i never ever notice somebodies eye color when talking to them. i just dont even look. so when i am actively paying attention to somebody’s eyes, they are that much more important to me. but idk, i kinda feel like his eyes are one of the biggest factors of his face? like, he looks really pretty whether he is smiling or not, because his face doesn’t ride on his smile.

sidetrack paragraph about george: i think george is that way. he is adorable, but he is only really adorable when he is smiling. if i look up ‘georgenotfound cute’ it will be entirely him smiling, and never any other facial expression because he genuinely looks like the fucking weirdest thing sometimes when making a serious face. back to will.

i dont pay attention to noses because who even cares dude but i’m sure his nose does a good job of supporting his looks as well so good job nose

his SMILE. he doesn’t need to smile, but dude, when he does, it’s like i always used to say (and still would say) in regards to eijiro kirishima. it’s like... sunbeams, like rays of light are in his mouth and escaping when he smiles.i wonder how he keeps a star in there. because his smile literally lights up my heart. and when he tilts his head(basically all the time luckily)? so goddamn pretty. pretty man. pretty. 

that brings us to his neck, which is- no, kidding, but i do want to talk about his vocal chords! firstly his speaking voice, which i guess as an american it hits different for me because of the accent. but- i dont think i can put it into words. but the way he puts thoughts into words-(lol) idk, his voice is just really sweet. and his SINGING VOICE, here we go.

so he sings, duh. and i- holy fuck. he just sounds good, you know? he is a good singer. i want to put my emotions simply this time. he sings well, and he sounds good. a pretty voice for a pretty man. i cant even try to elaborate.

basically the only other thing of my concern is his fucking yellow sweater? or jumper or whatever the fuck? and his beanie? on his body? damn. i am genuinely attached to that sweater. it just looks good, ok? it does. 

oh yeah, and he’s hella fucking tall. 6′5? are you kidding? you couldn’t have at least been short so we could make fun of you?

oh yeah and his laugh-

it is now 4:53 am and a bitch is tired but i have an entire fucking train of thoughts and they must be somewhere before they slip away

the next part- Eret. i adore Eret. so incredibly much. and let me start this by saying i’m going to consistantly call him a he, because he doesn’t care and so that makes it easier for me. ok? ok.

he is the opposite of Wilbur in this one regard, confidence. and self-esteem. eret loves himself. that attitude spreads. look, not only is he like the #1 bicon in the world as far as i’m concerned, but he also actively fucks gender roles any day. strawberry dress pog? strawberry dress pog.

but seriously, he rocked the strawberry dress. and the suit, though i missed that stream. he rocks his crown, his sunglasses, just anything he puts on. and don’t get me started on the BOOTS

(im started on the boots) so firstly the heel boots, the first ones he got. when i first saw clips, my only thought was something like ‘woah.’ or maybe ‘damn.’ at that point i didn’t know much about him, just that he looked STELLAR in those boots (and the betrayal and shit yknow) and the PLATFORMS DUDE

the platforms are the same but moar tall, which is incredible. oh and now back to strawberry dress- have you seen him twirl? the twirl? hello? have you seen it? you must. 

also i havent even talked about HIM yet. hove you seen that picture of him with a bird on his shoulder? he is facing the bird, i think looking at it, with a wide smile across his face. and it is so pretty. he has the prettiest smile. 

also today i was looking for flour at the store place and a clip of him was playing in my mind- he was doing like an announcer voice, like in every superhero movie trailer- and he was just coming up with something to say, and what he ened up saying was ‘in a world... where.... cookies.... are made of pringles’ and OMFG its making me laugh even now. like of absolutely anything, that was the example he made. just thinking about it is making me smile. 

speaking of, have you heard his voice? his normal voice is really really deep anyways, but he has crazy range- he can effortlessly(i originally wrote effortly and when i noticed i laughed because i am so fucking tired bfv9wuocl) go from like an elmo impression (and a good one) to a just REALLY low voice, lower than his normal low voice. 

AND HIS SINGING VOICE! he doesn’t like actually make music like wilbur but on that one stream where he did kareoke (how the fuck is it spelled) with fundy and his voice is SO LIKE its deep and its just pretty and i never want to hear normal sweater weather ever again, just him singing it.

i think this is where i’m done with eret- it is 5:18 now, and a BITCH IS TIRED but i need to finish this while i’m still feeling this wayy or i’ll never finish it, i know this from experience.

and now it’s tommy time

the og reason i decided to make this an actual post . but i had to explain the simping thing before i got into my thoughts about tommy. 

but let me start this with just saying yes, i love him. he is a big man and i want him to be happy. which is the topic for today’s discussion, AHEM. 

so tommyinnit, right? he is 16, which is why i do NOT simp.i dont care that im also a minor, i wouldn’t do anything to make him feel uncomfortable, ever. in any world. never. because look- i dont know how to put it, but tommy is SIXTEEN. still young and impressionable and all that junk. and he is a fairly fucking famous twitch streamer. he does that almost daily.

what i’m saying is i dont want him to get hurt. him, and tubbo too. they are a part of the world, part of the public, all the time. don’t you think that is stressful? do you guys remember his haircut stream? on the day of his haircut? and chat was making fun of him for it, and wilbur was making fun of him for it. that is how i express affection, with my real friends as well. playful bullying. but at some point while Will was teasing him, he says something along the lines of ‘yeah, the big man hasn’t been having too great a day’ or something like that, and dude, my heart dropped.

a. he had mentioned earlier that he didn’t want to stream the day of his haircut because hair is always weird that first day, but since he hadn’t streamed in a good bit he felt obliged to. i dont really.. idk, i dont really like that. i dont want him to have to put himself in uncomfortable situations because he feels like he needs to for us. i don’t think that is healthy.

and b. chat and wilbur were bullying him. good-naturedly, but still, when he mentioned he had been having a bad day, the chat turned around and instantly started yelling shit like ‘AHHHH SORRY BIG MAN YOUR HAIR IS FINE’ and when Wilbur kept teasing him (you fucking beautiful bully man fuck off) yelling stuff like ‘WILBUR QUIT WE ARE H U R T I N G HIM’ and ‘WILL STFU HES HAVING A BAD DAY’ so im glad we all want him to feel ok

but still, it cannot be healthy. when i first got into MCYT, i though tommy was fucking loud and annoying. and he is! he is. but that is a big part of why i like him so much. and everyone jokes about him being a child, because he is, but i choose to not say stuff like that in chat just because i want him to be happy. those jokes are fun, but i want him to be happy. and he is happier when not being called a child.

im not attacking you, do whatever the fuck you want. i dont know why i feel the need to protect him or whatever, if he read this he would probably think i was hella creepy. i just- listen, i just want him to be happy. i just want him to smile and laugh. i sound SO GODDAMN CREEPY but- as ive said- i just want him to be happy. 

is this literally just what having a comfort streamer is? am i not crazy? does everyone experience this? and can we talk about tommy’s playlist it’s literally so sweet and bubbly compared to his personality and i love that. and the song he always plays at the start of stream and always like buzzes along to? that moment in time is my very favorite.

it is 5:44-

[keanureevesisbae]

Caught in a Blizzard - Part 1

Summary: Luna is going to perform at the Graham Norton show, but little did she know that Chris Evans is going to be a guest as well.

Pairing: Chris Evans x Luna Hwang (Asian OFC)

Warnings: Mentions about sex and some alcohol

Wordcount: 4.5k

A/N: if you want to be on the taglist, just let me know! Also, I love to read your guys’ thoughts and feedback xx

Masterlist // Introduction // Part 2

Tonight I’m the musical guest on the Graham Norton show and I was too lazy to check who were going to be the other guests. I mean, I was severely jet lagged and a bit hungover, because they were serving some real good wine on the airplane and I might have finished an entire bottle and then some more sips from another bottle.

Normally my new agent Gia would be with me when I go to these types of things, to make sure everything is handled correctly and I’m up to date to the most important things, but since she has come down with a flu, just like her two youngest kids, she obviously stayed in New York. She told me I would be doing fine, however I wished that she was with me now, because she  could’ve told me that finishing that entire bottle of wine myself wasn’t exactly a good idea (I have no self control, that’s obvious) and mentally prepare me for the other guests.

Now I have exactly five minutes to prepare myself, because I have wasted at least thirty with hyperventilating.

Because of the tough weather, Viola Davis couldn’t be here unfortunately, which is a shame, because she herself is a whole new level of awesome. But on the couch sits the queen herself Reese Witherspoon and THE handsome ass Chris Evans is there as well!

I mean, I obviously have an unhealthy crush on him, because who wouldn’t? He is handsome, he is funny and he is exactly the type of man that I’d like to drag in my bed for some mature activities. Seeing him sitting right there, makes my heart do all sorts of different things. And I realize that when I’m going to join them, I have to sit next to him. I have to sit next to the man who thought that wearing grey plaid pants and a fitted sweater would be appropriate.

Normally I would’ve known who the guests are on the shows that I perform at when I was still with my group Brave Elegance, because we had agents and a few members that actually listened to them when stuff like this was being told. I relied on them mostly, because I was making sure I could perfect my performance, by practicing the dance moves and hum out my rap. Now I’m all by myself and the first time Gia is supposed to be with me, she is sick.

And now I have to eat up the consequences of my own stupid choices.

I wish there was a guide available, that could help me out with one of the biggest problems I have ever encountered in my life: how to NOT embarrass yourself in front of the Chris Evans?

‘So, I have a question,’ Graham Norton starts. ‘Our musical guest Luna is backstage and—’ The audience erupts into a loud applause and whistles. ‘Goodness me, I wasn’t even finished yet!’

The crowd starts to laugh and from the looks of it, Reese Witherspoon and Chris Evans are amused. I take another sip of my water, because my throat feels painfully dry.

‘What I was going to ask is if you two had heard from her,’ Graham continues.

‘I do, actually,’ Reese says. ‘My daughter was a huge fan of hers back when she was in Brave Elegance. I went to three concerts of them actually.’

‘Oh, so you know quite a bit about her?’ Graham asks.

Reese nods. ‘Yes, I do. Back when she was in the band, my daughter was such a big fan of hers. Even had posters of her in her room. I do know that she is really killing the game with her solo projects.’

‘She totally is,’ Chris Evans says. ‘I downloaded her album the second it came out. I loved it.’

I think I forget how to breath. He downloaded my album? Holy crap, this isn’t helping with my nerves.

‘Really?’ Graham asks. ‘I never thought you were the type of guy that would listen to her songs, if I’m being honest.’

‘Well, my niece was a Fairy once, so I knew about the existence of them and heard some songs. But I only started to get really invested in their music during their Golden Globe performance, little did I know that that was going to be one of their last performances. A shame really, I was ready to become a Fairy.’

The Chris Evans Captain America Chris Evans was ready to become part of the fanbase? Oh shit, is this how it feels to have an out of body experience? How am I supposed to act normal after this?’

‘Really?’ Graham asks with a smile. ‘Well lucky you then that she is going to perform here.’

A woman ushers me with her and I follow her through the tiny halls. It’s nearly time for me to get on stage, but how am I going to deal with this? The sound is pretty loud, so I continue to hear what is being said.

‘She has something,’ Reese continues. ‘Like she forces you to watch her. My daughter once showed me a compilation of her on the X-Factor and I was genuinely impressed. She was only seventeen and knew exactly how to pull the audience in. Amazing.’

‘Please, everybody, please give it up for the one and only Luna!’

The audience start to clap and whistle, causing me to smile. I always love it when I hear the whistles and the screams of fans. Graham holds out his hand and I kindly take it, but all of the sudden I feel a little self-conscious about my tight red dress and my over knee boots, but I can’t change now. I must hold my breath the entire time I’m sitting my ass on that couch.

I shake hands with Reese Witherspoon, who compliments me on my outfit and tells me I’m so pretty. Why is this woman such a nice lady?

I quickly wipe my palm when I have to shake Chris Evans’ hand. When I’m with my producers or even back when I was still with the girls from Brave Elegance, I’d tell them how Chris Evans literally bite me wherever he wants, choke me during sex and that every hole I have is right there for him to use.

Now I’m standing in front of him and those things have turned into nothing but idle talk.

I somehow manage to extend my hand without shaking like an idiot an he holds mine in his large one. Oh my, those fingers… Imagine them insi— No, Luna, don’t even go there. You are in public!

‘It’s so nice to meet you, Luna,’ he says with a charming smile and me knees nearly give out. His eyes are glued on me and oh my, he is even more handsome from up close.

‘Yeah, it’s nice to meet you too.’ Okay, good, I managed to say seven words to him, in an acceptable order. Progress!

I sit on the left end of the couch, next to Chris Evans and I sure hope the microphone doesn’t pick up on my heartbeat, since I can feel it beating with a force that it actually hurts me.

‘Luna, I’m so happy that you’re here,’ Graham says.

‘Thank you for having me.’

‘Are you excited?’

I nod. ‘This is my first solo interview on television, so I’m a bit nervous, but other than that, I’m very excited. I just hope that I won’t say anything stupid.’

‘You probably won’t,’ Graham says and I don’t feel necessarily assured. ‘I have to say, Luna, you are such an interesting woman.’

‘Is that good or bad?’ I ask.

‘Well, I mean,’ he says, looking at his cards. ‘At the young age of seventeen, you participate in the X-Factor, didn’t win, but did gain four friends. Is it hard to now do your own stuff?’

I think well about this question. Our disbandment was quite messy, though the public doesn’t know about that. The reason we split up was because of the amounts of jealousy between the members and… Me actually. I miss my members every single day and I wish that they were here with me. But I have to realize, that the disbandment was all my fault and if I was just a team player back then, I would still have them around me.

‘It’s hard to be by myself, sometimes. I mean, I have dancers with me, but… It’s different. It can’t be compared to being with four amazingly talented girls with the same dream. So yeah, it’s hard, because I have to figure out how I’m going to do it alone. We were together for six years non stop, so it’s kinda weird.’

‘Your disbandment came as a huge surprise. Did you guys knew that you were going to disband soon?’

‘Well, 2018 was really a rollercoaster of a years and the after shocks of that, went with us to 2019. We were all kind of struggling with our psychical and mental health. I won’t really go into details for the rest of the girls, but I was hospitalized for two months, because I totally overworked myself. Being in a group is hard work and our record label was really putting a lot of pressure on us and after six years, it can be hard to keep up. So, our last two performances… We didn’t really say that it were the last, but deep down we all pretty much knew, you know?’

‘Right… You are the only one that is continuing in the music industry. How come?’

‘Well,’ I say, ‘it’s the only thing I’m good at and I love to do it. I love interacting with fans, being on stage. My new record label is really laid back and they continue to say that we are going at my pace, that my health is the most important and I shouldn’t overwork myself ever, so that really is comforting and I know it’s for the best.’

Graham nods and asks: ‘Did you know that Chris Evans was ready to become a Fairy?’

I shake my head. ‘No, I didn’t.’

‘Tell us, Chris, what was your favorite song and maybe Luna can sing a bit for you.’

I’m going to fucking vomit. Is this truly happening? I bet Gia is watching this right now (or tomorrow, since she is still sick) and she is going to laugh her ass off, just like all the producers and God who knows. I just know.

I carefully look to the side and see Chris Evans smirking. Seeing it in gifs is such an experience, but seeing it in real life… Goodness me.

‘I truly loved ‘You Know, He Did It Too’, especially because it showed how society is really fucked up. It takes two people, but of course only the woman in this story gets the blame, which is not fair.’

‘I’m not going to sing that,’ I say to Graham. ‘Or rap my part.’

‘Why not?’

‘Because…’ I can’t even think of a very good reason to not do it.

‘Come on,’ he coaxes me. ‘When can you say that you rapped in front of Chris Evans? Captain America!’

I sigh, knowing I can’t get out of this.

Remember Bieber, had that fever?

You tiny man, you fucked it up

You should come clean

No need to fake

Your fiancé leave you no matter what

So be a man, suck it up

Take the blame, she ain’t alone.

You little fucker, just spit it out

We do this over and over

Till we fucked up your entire career

‘Damn!’ Graham exclaims. ‘We all watched the news obviously and knew what happened, but you really didn’t hold back with the rap.’

‘Well, funny story,’ I say, ‘originally we wanted the song to be a diss track to society, for only blaming the girl. But then he released a statement, saying that he had nothing to do with it, that she was seducing him and basically that it wasn’t his fault. So that’s when I got mad and changed the entire rap.’

‘Dragging him,’ Chris Evans adds.

I chuckle, feeling all too happy that I can agree with Chris Evans on this. ‘Yeah, dragging him.’

‘I love this,’ Graham says. ‘So, you were just out of high school when you auditioned for X-Factor.’

‘Right,’ I say.

‘You wrote all your raps by yourself. Did you write songs back then?’

I nod. ‘They weren’t any good. I started with really bad poetry and that turned into cringy songs, that were trying to be deep, but it high school cringe. Thanks to the mentors on the X-Factor I was taught about flow and beat and all that good stuff. So I’m really grateful for that.’

Reese says: ‘What always surprised me, was how the raps you wrote matched the songs you girls were performing. But you did that all by yourself, with some help of the mentors?’

I nod. ‘You know, our time being on the X-Factor was hard, but it was so worth it. I feel like my song writing skills have improved over time and I do hope that the album showed my best writing skills and rap skills and sing and dance.’

‘You sure did,’ Graham says. ‘Can you tell us a little about who one of your songs is inspired on?’

I shake my head. ‘My songs aren’t necessarily inspired by anyone or any event really.’ Then I realize that I’m lying. ‘Wait, that is not true. One of my songs was sort of inspired on someone.’

‘I want the details,’ Graham says without skipping a beat, ‘and I want them now. Spill.’

‘Well, Ditch The Boys, Use Your Toys is inspired on someone I had sex with, back in the X-Factor days. We were already going to the next round as Brave Elegance. I had heard some rumors that he was pretty great in bed, causing me to think that if I ever had sex with him, it was going to be mind-blowing, so I had pretty high expectations.’

Graham nods, making it obvious he is really interested in hearing the rest of the story. I look at Reese and Chris, who have amused smiles on their faces.

‘I think we were two minutes into the foreplay, when he… You know… Can I say this on television?’

The host shrugs. ‘I have no idea and I honestly don’t care. I want to know how this story ends, though I might have an idea.’

I chuckle. ‘Well, he penetrates me and I’m like, oh, okay, he really wants to have sex with me. Obviously I was a bit flattered, but I think it took less than thirty seconds before he came  already and made really loud and weird noises. And I was confused, because for starters, he came real quick, but I also didn’t understand why so many girls were raving about him. Then, this guy looks me right in the eye and has the audacity to ask me if I enjoyed it as much as he did.’ My eyes widen, while I hold out my hands, as the audience starts to laugh.

‘I really want to know what you said to that,’ Chris Evans says, who seems to enjoy my story a lot.

‘So I stared at him,’ I continue my story. ‘And I said: “Well, if we were trying to be in the Guinness book of World Records for fastest male ejaculation during sexual intercourse, sure, but I wasn’t aware that we were going for a world record”.’

Graham starts to laugh, Reese places her hands on her face to hide her visible gasp and Chris Evans places his hand on his chest while he laughs, a trait that I love with all my heart.

‘But on top of that,’ I go on, ‘he got mad and said that I was an ungrateful bitch for not being happy we had sex.’

Reese scoffs. ‘What an idiot.’

‘So anyways, it was during our X-Factor days, so I got dressed and told him I was going back to my dorm and masturbate, because I obviously couldn’t count on him for some pleasure. Fast forward to two weeks later. We’re waiting for our dance training and the teacher wasn’t there yet and this time around there weren’t camera’s to film anything. So me and some other girls were chatting about orgasms and stuff like that, as one does. Since this said guy was like a few feet away from us and had been telling the other competitors that I was a slut and ungrateful and all, I decided to take my change. I say in a pretty loud voice: “Well, if you want orgasms, you have to skip on sex with… Let’s call him Peter,’—his name was Cole Springs, but I’m not totally heartless and he is doing pretty okay in the country music industry now, so I don’t want to ruin his reputation entirely—‘you have to skip on sex with Peter, because he’ll nut inside of you within thirty seconds. You better ditch that boy and use your toy, because no orgasms for you when having sex with him. So that song was heavily based on someone.’

‘I’m so glad I asked that question,’ Graham says in a giddy voice, causing the rest of the audience and Chris Evans and Reese Witherspoon to laugh as well. ‘I admire you, Luna,’ he adds. ‘You really have the guts to sing about these topics.’

Chris Evans nods. ‘I totally agree.’

‘What is in stores for Luna?’ Graham asks. ‘What can we expect?’

I lean back in the couch. What can they expect? I never thought that far ahead. I was just thinking about promotions for this album. ‘Hopefully a world tour one day,’ I say. ‘I am still working on expanding my back up crew, but I want everyone to feel represented, you know? So, that’s totally what I’m working on and for the rest… I think just more music, more controversies, because it turns out that’s what I do best.’

‘I’m here for it,’ Graham says. ‘Is it hard to sing about certain topics like sex, masturbation and female empowerment?’

I shrug. ‘I feel like someone should do it,’ I admit. ‘I know that people—especially men—have certain opinions about it, but you know… I feel that there is someone out there, that listens songs and feels a bit empowered and that’s all I care about.’

Chris nods. ‘I admire you,’ he says, causing the audience to aww. ‘I bet it can be hard sometimes.’

Are we having a moment right now? I’m lost in his eyes for a few seconds. ‘Sometimes, yeah.’

Graham interrupts this whatever it was by asking if I’m ready to perform.

‘Oh, yeah, totally am.’

‘Please give it up for Luna, who is going to sing a mashup of Inside and Silky Ribbon!’

✘ ✘ ✘

‘You have one new message,’ the robotic voice of the woman says when I want to check my voicemail on my phone. I’m at a pretty chill bar, with a nice bartender who gave me two drinks on the house already, since he liked my album and my appearance on the Graham Norton show.

‘Luna, what the actual fuck?’ Look at that. Cole Springs decided to call me. ‘Do you honestly need to tell that fucking story on television? I already got five texts from people who either ask me if this is about me or simply know it’s about me.’

I click the voicemail away mid sentence, since I really can’t use this right now. I already feel tired and like shit, no need for Cole Springs to make things even worse. ‘Could I have one more please?’ I ask with a pout, as I push my empty glass to the bartender.

‘Sure thing,’ he says. ‘Who was that on your voicemail?’

‘Cole Springs.’

‘The boyband member gone country boy?’

I nod. ‘He wasn’t all too happy I exposed him like that.’

‘That was the Peter in the story?’ The bartender’s laugh fills up the entire bar. ‘This is amazing. He looks like the type of guy that would nut in two seconds.’

I can’t help but laugh, as I feel the vodka already making me feel a bit lightheaded. That feeling however doesn’t stop me from drinking up some more. I stare outside and see that it’s snowing pretty heavily. I’m still wearing the outfit I wore to Graham Norton, but with the thickest coat worn over it. I know that I have to get back to my hotel, but for now I’ll just stall that moment and enjoy it here.

‘How long are you going to stay in London?’ the bartender asks.

‘Dunno, man. Think I’m heading home somewhere tomorrow or the day after that. I honestly don’t know. Normally Gia, my manager would be with me, but she’s sick now.’

The door opens and some guys are yelling something, but I’m too tired to look up. I place my head on my arms, hoping that I can gain some energy to go and hail a cab.

‘Hi there, can I have…’

I look up and see that Chris Evans is standing right next to me, ordering a drink. He looks really handsome, but that is pretty easy, since he is really handsome. Everything he does is simply breathtaking. I bet he has sex every weekend with someone else. I mean, I bet there is a line waiting to have sex with Captain America and I’m somewhere in that line too. ‘Hi,’ I say and he looks up, a smile appearing on his beautiful face when he recognizes me.

‘Hi, Luna, how are you?’

‘Tired and a bit annoyed though.’

‘Oh no.’ He sits on the stool next to me and his knee bumps against mine. ‘Tell me all about it.’

I start to rant about Cole Springs, exposing to Chris as well who the story was about and during that rant, I go on about my past, about the foster care system and how that is bothering me. I rub my face, not caring that my make-up is all smudged over and the alcohol that I just drank is really kicking in now.

‘I think I just have a kink for controversy, you know,’ I say, staring at me empty glass. ‘I love being in the spotlights for everything that is not exactly how it’s supposed to go. When I got arrested at that protest, boy, I liked the attention that got.’

Chris smiles. ‘Well, I hardly think what you do is that controversial. I think you are just a bit ahead of your time.’

‘That is so deep,’ I admit, absolutely in awe by him. ‘Wow, not only are you handsome, but you are pretty much an intellectual as well. You should consider writing. Bet it would be a bestseller.’

‘I think,’ Chris laughs, pulling the drink from my hands, ‘you’ve had enough to drink.’

‘No,’ I whine, but Chris gets out of his chair. ‘I’m boring you, aren’t I?’

‘Not at all, but I think you need to get back to your hotel,’ Chris says. ‘Hearing from your stories, you have to catch a flight tomorrow and I bet you don’t want to be completely hungover then.’

‘I was already hungover this morning,’ I say, sliding off the barstool. Chris holds up my coat and helps me to put it on. ‘I could use a cigarette, you know.’

‘I bet you do.’

I wrap my arm around his broad shoulders and with my other hand, I hold his face. I place my thumb on one cheek and the rest of my fingers on his other cheek. ‘You have such a beautiful face, that you could just lick and not regret it,’ I admit. ‘Has anyone told you that?’

He starts to chuckle. ‘Not with those exact words.’

‘Well,’ I continue, ‘have you ever read fan fiction about yourself?’ I don’t give him time to answer that question, as we walk out of the bar into the cold, Chris’ arm wrapped tightly around my waist. ‘I have,’ I say, ‘especially the real dirty ones. According to those stories, you know exactly how to please a woman. I bet you are really good in bed, a whole lot better than sweet Cole Springs. I bet you can last for hours.’

‘I sure hope so,’ he laughs.

‘Tell me, do you have sex with a new woman every other week? Because I was wondering that and personally, I’m gravitating towards yes, because honestly I think you are a walking sex machine.’

Chris holds out his hand to hail a cab and says: ‘No, I don’t actually. I barely have sex nowadays.’

‘Shut up!’ I yell. ‘No, no, no, that can’t be true.’ I wiggle myself out of his embrace and crouch down on the sidewalk. My fingers touch the snow, a cold sensation that makes me shiver. ‘What happened to the world that you, Chris Captain America Evans, barely has sex nowadays. If you don’t have sex, what is the rest of the world doing? Oh my, you poor thing.’

‘It’s really not that big of a deal, Luna,’ Chris laughs. He holds out his hands and says: ‘Come on, we need to get into the cab.’

‘You hailed a cab?’ I take ahold of his warm hands and jump up. ‘That is so cool. You are so talented.’

He helps me into the cab and I want to pull him on my lap, so he can sit comfortably there, but weirdly enough, he insists on walking around the cab and sitting next to me. ‘So, can you tell me where your hotel is?’

‘I don’t remember,’ I admit. ‘I barely remember anything that happened today. I was pretty hungover when I arrived here.’ I let myself fall to the side, placing my head on his legs. ‘Mister Evans, have you been working out?’ I squeeze his tight muscles in his thighs, admiring what’s in between my fingers. ‘Damn, I bet chicks love to ride your thighs.’

He burst out in laughter. ‘How much did you have to drink?’ he asks.

‘Just a few shots,’ I admit. ‘But I don’t really handle alcohol that great, to be honest. I’m wasted like that.’ I attempt to snap my fingers, but I fail miserably. My hands look for his and when I finally have one in my hand, I admire his beautifully shaped fingers. ‘You have lovely hands. You have spanked a girl’s ass with these? Or anyone’s ass for that matter’

He starts to laugh. ‘You are unbelievable,’ he says.

‘I’ve never been spanked,’ I confess. ‘I’d love that though. You know, I sing about sex a lot, but to be honest, I haven’t had proper sex in like a year. I mean, my toys do miracles, just like my hands and all. But I just want to have hot and heavy sex.’ I look up and hold out my hand, to touch his beautiful face. His beard pricks against my skin, but I’m not complaining at all.

In the background I hear Chris say something to me, but I close my eyes and fall asleep.

Taglist: @diegos-butt​

[roc-thoughtblog]

Sense and Sensibility Readthrough Part 9

Chapter 12, Pages 49-54

Previously, Sir Middleton has started the Party Timez and Marianne is flirting it up with mysterious Mr. Charming. Meanwhile, Elinor has a sweet moment with Colonel Brandon where he alludes to a past love-related something, because they are both two lonely people watching a party.

I enjoyed this chapter, because Margaret finally opened her mouth and only gold came out. :D You little scamp, you have vindicated my small obsession with seeing you relevant in any form!

Readthrough below.

Chapter 12

AS ELINOR and Marianne were were walking together the next morning the latter communicated a piece of news to her sister which in spite of all that she knew before of Marianne's imprudence and want of thought, surprised her

Oh? OH? Marianne going to have many thoughts, head full of prudence?

by its extravagant testimony to both.

NOPE! Also, Austenism on first sentence of chapter, nice opening. I most creatively coined that for personal use and now I finally get to use it! Setup into unceremonious, and yet very extra, subversion that turns potential positives upside down. Anyway, Willoughby has given Marianne a horse, which she has accepted with zero thought into the Dashwoods' ability to keep it.

Elinor, has, of course, thought of all the things the family is lacking with regards to horse-keeping, including most prominently, a complete lack of a stable in which to house it. Was boutta ask, good Elinor answered my enquiry most quickly.

I have a friend who is a self-professed horse-girl, and many mutual friends who attest to not desiring to ride with her on account of it being quite dangerous. This isn't directly related to anything, Marianne just invited Elinor to ride her horse and I was suddenly struck by a memory of warring opinions on the risks of horseriding. Horse-girl's testimony to its relative safety was not aided by her own anecdote of having fallen off a horse onto her back once, and not being able to feel her neck for a while, or something similar to that effect (don't worry, she is fine). I imagine Elinor would be horrified.

Marianne brushes off all of Elinor's concerns in... most short-sighted fashion. No Marianne, do not keep a horse in any old shed. This reminds me of when my aunt kept her kittens in the bathroom. Bad. Awful. Don't consider keeping animals if you can't be bothered to house them properly. :(

Of course, Marianne draws the line when Elinor claims she doesn't know Willoughby well enough to receive a horse from the man;

"You are mistaken, Elinor," said she warmly, "in supposing I know very little of Willoughby. I have not known him long indeed, but I am much better acquainted with him, than I am with any other creature in the world, except yourself and mamma. [...] I should hold myself guilty of greater impropriety in accepting a horse from my brother, than from Willoughby. Of John I know very little, though we have lived together for years; but of Willoughby my judgement has long been formed."

Marianne has a great talent for speaking warmly. :'D

Ouch girl you have been hit hard. The infatuation, it speaks through you with a megaphone.

It's really fascinating how big an effect love and infatuation seems to have on apparent closeness. Like at some point it really does cross over the line to being genuinely close, but I feel like I observe a lot of the time, before that point, that people tend to... trick themselves into thinking they are close? Infatuation has a remarkable ability to warp the sense of emotional proximity between people, maybe even just through the firing of emotions on all cylinders.

One memorable conversation I will always return to was when a friend of mine referred to their boyfriend of a few months as their "best friend" in the most casual, natural way. A few months didn't seem like a long enough time, and when I asked them, they did suddenly realise they weren't quite there yet... I find it very interesting how love can so easily dominate social lives.

Anyway, Marianne has jumped to Big Conclusion about how well she knows Willoughby. It's a good thing he's probably a nice guy really, but this is also likely one of the ways predatory relationships can take root so uh, look after your friends I guess. Sometimes when this kinda emotion takes hold they need a second opinion to keep them grounded.

Elinor thought it wisest to touch that point no more. She knew her sister's temper. Opposition on so tender a subject would only attach her the more to her own opinion.

Yeah, Elinor has the right idea. Backfire effect is real, and it's not something you want to mess with when you really need to convince somebody of something. You definitely need to go around with a different approach... which Elinor does, nice! By appealing to Marianne's concern of potentially greatly burdening her mother, who would of course consent enthusiastically to a horse, but also be the most inconvenienced by its maintenance.

Marianne relents most sadly. :(

She tells Willoughby next she sees him that she can't take the horse, because of reasons. Willoughby is disappointed, but tells her that the horse is still hers, once the time arrives that she can keep- he named the horse Queen Mab? Horses. Always with funky names. Is that a historical figure? FAIRY FROM ROMEO AND JULIET! Please Mr. Willoughby! You are every bit the drama queen as Marianne. You are not so star crossed!

O-oh. Elinor overhears everything, and also realises now that they are in fact a couple? By the way Willoughby pronounces Marianne's first name, and the fact that he uses it at all. Oh, that she is now absolutely certain of it, and in no way surprised. Yeah that makes sense.

GASP! MARGARET SPEAKS!

Alright this whole sequence is gold, I dunno how to relate it here but it's a quick and fun read. Reading being generally fun, but quick doesn't usually come naturally to me. Also means I don't take notes.

Margaret thinks the two lovebirds will be married soon and Elinor is hilariously shutting her down for crying wolf about pictures that turned out to be of great-uncles. But this time Margaret has witnessed Willoughby beg for, and acquire, a lock of Marianne's hair, for romantically sentimental reasons I personally do not understand but have witnessed enough to accept without question. Because, y'know, children don't count as witnesses to secret emotional dalliances you don't the adults to see. And the account is specific and detailed enough that it doesn't seem like something a kid would just make up.

And then we go on a hilarious tangent about how Margaret accidentally spilled all the beans on Elinor's love life to Mrs. Jennings for not knowing any better how to respond to questions. :'D The poor girl asks Elinor for permission to say, so now Mrs. Jennings knows somebody exists. And then Marianne drags herself into it to defend Elinor's feelings, but Margaret innocently reminds her that all the speculation was her’s to begin with.

"Margaret," said Marianne with great warmth,

GREAT WARMTH! This is greatest warmth of Marianne yet, I have never seen her so upset, I'm rolling. Poor Margaret is a little out of her depth with all the adults bugging her for gossip, and the more the sisters try to contain her the more slips out. You can't expect so much from a kid. :'D

Thankfully Lady Middleton saves all the Dashwood sisters by abruptly and deliberately changing the topic to the weather, followed by sensitive Colonel Brandon. Nice save, guys! Willoughby, good man, invites Marianne to start playing piano too. Elinor is saved, but still thoroughly shook haha. Poor girl is not of a heart that can deal with this assault.

Chapter concludes with a quick two paragraphs which I guess will set up the next chapter; they organise a party to go party at an estate belonging to Colonel Brandon's brother-in-law, because, Sir Middleton has partied in that place all too much and yet never enough. Party. Sir Middleton: Party man, does whatever a party can. What exactly do landed lords actually do again?

All this arranged with open carriages and sailing, and I assume cold provisions to imply a picnic; "rather a bold undertaking, considering the time of year, and that it had rained every day for the last fortnight -" HA. Well, despite his extensive partying experience, we are given to understand that Sir M. is still a slow learner. Oh well.

... I just realised I found Margaret to be so entertaining I didn't realise the story had like... used her as a connecting factor to completely transition the theme, setting and topic of the chapter halfway through. I feel like this is important to note, as for the most part chapters in this story seem to stick to exploring one specific topic or person. This particular chapter was somewhat all-over-the-place topic-wise (Marillouby confirmed, Elinor's beau’s existence revealed) and the only unifying factor was Margaret shenanigans, which I love, but she isn't relevant to the central plot in the same way the two other pieces are. On top of that, the chapter ends on an otherwise random note that they're going to another party at a place related to Brandon; this isn't something that necessarily needed to cap off this chapter as far as I can tell.

I guess what I'm wondering is, this slightly frankenstinian chapter; is it the result of combining two smaller segments too short to be chapters in their own right, or is it more like... a deliberately transitional chapter? That the chapter lacks a unifyingly plot relevant topic to explore, because it's only concern is for setting up pieces for coming chapters at the new estate party? I guess I'll find out soon.

[editorialsonlife]

New Year musings

We’re finally home and back on our own couch and in our own bed and my god is it ever good. We spent Christmas with my fam and New years with Dave’s and got home sunday evening. Glad we had yesterday off as we got so much shit done honestly, it was ridiculous but the garden is all sorted and looks amazing so yay for that. Now to just maintain it! 

I also realised that one of the reasons visiting Dave’s fam is so fucking miserable is because neither of us sleep well while we’re there. The bed is so freaking uncomfortable and because of the cat we have to sleep with the bedroom door shut (do not want any half dead things being dragged in in the middle of the night no one needs  a repeat of that thank you) and then the room gets stiflingly hot and all told just very little quality sleep happens. which, combined with the alcohol and general stress of being there is an incredibly bad combination. I am going to start saving to buy us a new mattress, or a decent topper or something because its just hopeless. 

Anyway, it was a nice break regardless and I’m glad I still have the rest of this week off work which is nice. and the weather is actually cooperating which is even nicer! 

January basically started for us yesterday since it was the first day home that we could organise our own food, and the sugar/dairy/vanilla coke detox is hitting hard man. Two headachey days so far but hopefully it won’t last much longer. 

I’ve been in such a weird place with goals and resolutions and plans for this year to the point where I literally have a mental block about anything in 2021 apart from wedding 2.0 which is in April. I don’t know what the rest of the year is gunna be and it’s so weird. I don’t really have any big goals or trips to plan and none of the usual markers to divide up the year. God knows I’m normally a planner but apparently 2020 removed the need for it but anyway. 

I think the only real intention I have right now is to start approaching my physical health the same way I’ve been managing my mental health for the last year. Focussed on looking after myself the best way I can, in a way that is like, the tiniest baby steps on a regular basis, being as kind to myself as humanly possible, and doing my best to look after future Catherine as much as I can. So that’s kind of the plan for now. Gunna keep up the yoga once my studio reopens (not til 18 Feb, cry!!!), Shelley and I are gunna start swimming once a week on Tuesdays since pilates didn’t work out for us, gunna aim to get three walks a week in and then just see what else sounds appealing when the time comes to mix it up a wee bit I think. I might finally be over the whole ‘This is the decision I made and now i must stick with it forever even though it makes me miserable and I hate it’ mindset I’ve had previously which is a lovely change. 

Dave and I had a life discussion session while we were driving (literally don’t know what our lives will turn into without summer roadtrips for all the serious discussions, hilarious) and I think we’re going to start trying for kids at the end of the year. Which I haven’t said out loud or told anyone about since we discussed it and it was fine at the time and now I’m sitting here like uuuuuugggggh not good not good not good but anyway. It’ll be fine. Kinda drives home the need for good physical health and to start saving a bit more. I bought a lot of houseplants this christmas so I need to go on a plant shopping ban. oopsies. oh well. 

We’re also going to talk to an architect or someone about house renovations and get some costings for all of that to hopefully turn this into a 4 bedroom home I think. Gunna try and stage it a wee bit and see if we can work it out so we can still live in it while it’s being done so we don’t have to move out but we shall see. also need to confirm that the bank will lend us money to do it. I can’t see why they wouldn’t, given how much equity we have and that our mortgage is less than $250k but we’ll see where it ends up. again, need to factor all of that in if we’re going to start trying for kids or not. I dunno. 

I’m also going to set up monthly dinner dates with m girls and then also the cousins as well I think so that some of the annoying catch ups are just automated and I don’t feel bad about leaving them so long all the time coz it’s a bit of a fail. Might set those up after this. We shall see. 

Anyway, the gist of it is, take the approach I’ve given to my mental health over the last wee while and spread the joy everywhere else. Add in the good shit, and hope it all falls into place in the most beautiful way possible. 

[sayingthesamethings]

Magic Shop (Part 3)

Pairing: Poly!BTS x Witch!Fem!Reader

Summary: Underneath the concrete and pavement, between the towering buildings, Seoul is thrumming with magic. Too much magic. It’s become a hot spot for magical beings seeking to feed off of such intense energy. BTS is unaware of such dangers until they come across a witch trying to manage the mischief of other magical creatures while creating her own trouble.

Warnings: Language

Author’s Note: I’m so sorry that it took this long for part three! It’s much shorter than I would’ve liked for it to be, but I really struggled with this transition for some reason. Thank you for being so patient, and please enjoy this part!

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6 | Part 7

(Name) pinched the bridge of her nose and watched as the boys tried, multiple times, to open the door. Growing tired of their futile attempts, she sat on her cushioned stool to continue with making her concoction.

“I’m going to save you all some time and let you know that it won’t open,” she announced as she absentmindedly twirled her finger in the air to command the grinding stick to continue mixing the contents of the medicine bowl.

“(Name),” Namjoon warned. (Name) pursed her lips and continued to searched through her sealed vials full of different colored liquids. “(Name),” Namjoon called shortly.

Relenting, (Name) threw her hands up. “What?” she cried. Namjoon raised a brow before motioning to the door wordlessly. “I panicked, okay?”

“You panicked and locked us in the room with you,” Yoongi summarized.

(Name) shrugged. “And also created a temporary pocket dimension, but yeah. That sounds about right.” The members of BTS began to panic.

“Are you magic?” Hoseok asked in fear. (Name) ran a hand through her hair and roughly sighed.

“No, I’m not magic. I use magic. You would call me a witch,” she corrected.

Quietly, Jungkook commented, “But magic’s not real.”

A hot anger welled up in (Name)’s chest. The hackles on Jaewon’s back raised as he bared his small fangs. There was a sudden drop in temperature that the group of men couldn’t ignore. A few of the members were quick to catch on and roughly nudged the maknae from several different directions.

“Well, Jungkook. I can assure you that magic is very much real.” (Name) fell silent as she took a moment to recollect herself and take a few deep breaths.

Taehyung leaned over to whisper in their youngest boyfriend’s ear, “How else is she moving the stick, Kookie?” Jungkook shuffled awkwardly and looked to the ground.

“You can even ask Namjoon. He would know,” (Name) passively commented. The six men turned to their leader, who held his hands up in defense.

“How was I supposed to know?” (Name) rolled her eyes.

“How else would you be able to slip right by a crowd of fans without anyone stopping you?” she retorted as she grabbed the correct vial containing a silver liquid.

Jin slapped Namjoon’s arm and nagged, “I knew you were up to no good!” Jimin’s eyes darted between the eldest and the witch calmly mixing.

“Uh, Jin-hyung. I really don’t think that’s the problem right now,” Jimin said as he shuffled closer to Jin and Namjoon.

(Name) raised a brow. “What would be the problem then?” The room fell into a tense silence as she finished making her drink and poured the bowl into her mug. There was steam rising from the cup despite the fact that (Name) had not touched a heat source the whole time she was making her drink.

“Well, you kinda locked us in a room,” Hoseok offered hesitantly, still a bit on edge from being pulled into the room and the door slamming shut by an invisible force.

(Name) bashfully took a sip from her mug and replied, “Sorry. I didn’t want you guys running out yelling about how I’m a witch. That would be bad for our shop.” She pet Jaewon, still on edge, and sighed. “You have to at least let me explain.”

Jimin looked at (Name) through his bangs and quietly asked, “You won’t hurt us?” She nodded.

“I told Namjoon earlier. I can’t hurt you as long as he wears that ring,” she answered. With a shrug, she included, “Not that I hurt civilians in the first place.”

“Wait, you didn’t say that,” Namjoon interrupted. (Name) tilted her head to the side and hummed in contemplation.

She said, “Huh. Maybe I didn’t.” She shrugged halfheartedly and brought her mug to her lips. “Yeah, that ring you’re wearing is enchanted with a binding spell.” Not entirely caring about their reactions, she took a long sip.

Namjoon jumped and checked his hand. He didn’t remember slipping the ring back onto his finger.

Jin echoed, “A binding spell?” The female took a moment to swallow before answering.

“There are multiple variations of a binding spell,” she assured, as if that was supposed to make sense to the group of idols.

When (Name) showed no signs of explained further, Jin spoke up. “And that means?” (Name) set her mug down and allowed Jaewon to hop off her shoulders to curl up on the counter.

“The spell on Namjoon’s ring is a two-way spell,” (Name) began with small hand motions. “A binding spell that works two ways is primarily focused on the flow of magic from one individual to another.”

“So why is it called a binding spell?” Taehyung inquired.

(Name) responded, “Well, the original spell’s intent was close to slavery, but that's the one-way version of the spell. Scholars have only just recently drafted the two-way version in hopes to replace the misuse and abuse of the original spell. Nowadays, the original is only used for detaining.”

“That still doesn’t explain why it’s called that,” Taehyung huffed.

“Eh, there’s an argument that the spell hasn’t changed enough to call it original and warrant a new name,” (Name) answered.

Namjoon frowned. “What does all of this have to do with the day we met?”

“Because I gave you my ring, I was able to project my magic and create a basic illusion spell on you.” (Name) patiently waited for the information to soak in for the men by flipping through her spell book. “Jaewon, can you rewrite the page on tupple plants? I need to change the description.” She swirled the contents of her mug and commented, “Thank you, by the way, for letting me test the spell and ring on you. It’s hard to get someone to try stuff out for me.”

“You were testing a spell on him?” Yoongi scoffed in disbelief.

(Name) stared at the rapper in thought before saying, “Oh. Sorry. For you know, not asking.” Yoongi made a sour face.

“Do you ever ask someone before fucking with their lives?”

“Yoongi,” Jin warned.

Jungkook argued quietly, “Suga-hyung has a point, hyung.”

“That doesn’t mean he needs to swear!” Yoongi rolled his eyes at the eldest.

He said, “Who knows what she’s been doing the whole time Joon’s been wearing that damn ring?”

(Name) frowned, a little more that offended. “Namjoon, are you upset?” The others stopped arguing and looked to their leader, who was staring back at the witch with his lips pressed into a firm line and his brows deeply furrowed.

Was he upset?

Namjoon had to ask himself the question mentally. Trying to sort his emotions out, he identified his immense fear of the unknown factor surrounding (Name). She was a walking enigma. Even so, there was an undeniable interest for something he couldn’t quite place. Curiosity, even. Towards magic, perhaps?

But no, not anger. He couldn’t find any trace within himself.

As if she could sense this, (Name) grinned. She set her mug down and crossed her legs.

“I didn’t think how I got him out of the situation mattered,” she excused with a shrug. Jin sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. “He agreed to the terms I set, and I worked my magic,” she stated with a pause after. Her lips twitched upwards. “Literally.”

Jin said, “While I appreciate getting Joon out of trouble, there is a problem with using magic on him.” (Name) rolled her eyes with a huff.

“Okay, so I see that there’s a ‘problem,’” she generalized while eyeing the on edge, younger men. “Well, this is awkward.” She pulled a clean medicine bowl in front of her and began tossing brightly colored leaves and odd shaped fruits in.

Taehyung looked between Yoongi and (Name) before hesitantly speaking. “So what happens now?” The witch hummed in contemplation without taking her eyes off of the bowl in front of her.

“Oh, that’s easy.” Placing everything down gently, (Name) stood up from her stool and brushed off her clothes as if she had been sitting there long enough for dust to collect. She cleared her throat unnecessarily and called, “Jaewon. A little help, please.”

The ferret opened a single eye to glower up at his owner. (Name) returned the narrow look to which the ferret huffed at and reluctantly rose from his resting position. Jaewon effortlessly leaped the distance from the counter top to (Name)’s shoulder, now appearing alert.

The leather bound book rose from the counter. (Name) levitated it in front of her, and began chanting.

To time alone are memories lost, Forget me not and pay the cost

The air began to physically shift and chill. As if the weather outside had suddenly changed, the sunlight streaming through the stained glass of the windows began to dim at an alarming rate. The wind originating from apparently nothing picked up to the point where the members of BTS had to shield themselves.

Forsake my being and all that it is, For I am a moment you shall not miss

At the center of the vortex, (Name) levitated a few inches from the ground. The gems of her necklaces and rings glowed eerily. A wave of dizziness enveloped the idols, and they were beginning to feel the room sway.

Their visions swam and became murky. Despite the wind kicking up around them, (Name)’s voice rang as clear as day. 

Time shall flow just as it has, And in time this too shall pass

“...oys? Boys!” their manager, Sejin, yelled. They jumped and glanced around wildly. The filming crew were close to packing up, and almost all of the makeup and design team had left.

“Oh,” Namjoon mumbled and rubbed at his eyes. “Manager-hyung, what’s wrong?”

The older male huffed and crossed his arms. “Were any of you paying attention to what I was saying?” Namjoon’s jaw dropped, and he looked to his boyfriends for assistance, but they were just as confused as he was. “I’ll take that as a no. We’re all done here. Take your drinks with you to the van,” he instructed as he adjusted the coat hanging over his arm.

The male idols had to shake off and blink away the dream like trance they found themselves in.

“We’ll be right there, hyung,” Jin, being one of the first to recover, said with a small smile. Sejin hummed with a nod before motioning for them to follow. The idols reluctantly did as they were told and scurried towards the entrance.

Namjoon stopped before the door and motioned for the others to stop as well. He turned towards the counter and bowed, to which the rest of the group followed.

“Thank you for your time,” he announced, and the others echoed.

(Name) smiled from where she was leaning on the counter and offered a flirty wave.

“We hope to see you again!” she cheered. The bell above the door chimed one last time before the shop’s lively atmosphere abruptly died. (Name)’s gaze never left the door, and a slow, methodical hum buzzed through the air.

Jaewon slowly crept out from his hiding place underneath the counter and curled up across (Name)’s shoulders. The ferret looked at the witch quizzically.

“I’m gonna miss them,” (Name) sighed wistfully. Jaewon narrowed his gaze. Catching her familiar’s lack of amusement, (Name) wholeheartedly laughed, even going as far as throwing her head back. “So what if I’ll see them soon?” she retorted before bringing her mug to her lips. Before drinking the rest of her concoction, she grinned wickedly.

“I can’t wait to play again.”

[ohblackdiamond]

careening (bruce/paul, pg-13)

"There’s no—casting couch for a bunch of has-beens. No magic bullet. You can push and promote however you wanna, but if they don’t play it, it doesn’t fucking matter.” Struggling with Gene's indifference towards the band, Paul takes Bruce out to dinner after a recording session.

Notes: For @lillianastras who I believe requested Bruce/Paul a long, long time ago. My only wish is that it was cuter.

“careening”

by Ruriruri

we measure our gains out in luck and coincidence lanterns to turn back the night and put our defeats down to chance or experience and try once again for the light –al stewart, “a man for all seasons”

“What do you mean, you’re not coming?”

Bruce looked at Eric, who shook his head dully, but didn’t say a word. As soon as Paul’s back was turned, he ran his finger in front of his neck. Bruce nodded.

“We can’t just cancel for today. We paid for the studio space already. We—I don’t fucking care, Gene. I don’t. No. You’re not—you’re not listening to me.” An exhale. Paul had the phone cord wrapped around his fist, was pacing back and forth. “The hell does that matter? You still think you’re gonna be some big star?”

Bruce had thought things were improving between them. That long break after the last tour should’ve done them some good. He’d mentioned it to Eric a few months back, after a shoot. Eric, weirdly cynical, had just shrugged.

“Gene wants to get a finger in a bunch of pies at once.” He’d looked off somewhere, past Bruce and past the room itself, not really wistful, and not really condemning, and took a swig of water. “Paul doesn’t like taking chances. Which is kinda funny, I mean, music’s such a… such a big risk in the first place. But I guess it’s the only chance he ever took.”

“What about you?” Bruce had asked, and Eric had laughed, a little.

“Well, my chance didn’t get me there half as fast, but maybe I’m better off for it.” He’d paused, pulling something out of his hair. A rhinestone that must’ve fallen off his outfit during the photoshoot earlier. He squinted at it, then he flicked it to the floor. “I don’t want anything bigger than I have. The fame bit, the glamor bit… it’s crap, Bruce, you know it, I know it—but they—they don’t know it. And they’re not gonna ever figure it out.”

It was a hell of a thing to say while drinking a bottle of Evian. It was also a hell of thing to tell a guy who’d known both of them, in the periphery, before KISS was even a band. But Bruce knew Eric was sincere. He couldn’t help himself. That it-factor, star power, whatever, that could spin pretense into reality for two hours at a time—it wasn’t in Eric any more than it was in Bruce. And that was fine, that was fine, except that it meant they never had any leverage. It forced them both into hours spent sitting through Paul and Gene’s arguments, paid to spectate, paid to shut up and do their jobs. Like right now. Paul was in particularly bitter form this afternoon, Queens accent getting stronger with every sentence. Bruce could picture Gene on the other line, unemotional at first, all-business, gradually devolving into defensive protests as Paul kept on.

“Oh, don’t start. Don’t start. I don’t wanna hear it. Personal? No, it’s not personal, it’s just my fucking livelihood and our fucking band—why the hell would I be upset? Yeah. Yeah, why the hell not. You didn’t even write the shit you mailed in—” and Paul cut himself off. Bruce could feel his gaze on him. It made him stop—despite Eric shaking his head earlier, he’d been trying to leave the room.

Something in Paul’s gaze seemed like it faltered. Maybe some residual piece of shame. He took the phone from his ear, cupping the receiver in his palm.

“I’m almost done, Bruce. Don’t leave yet.” And then, quieter still, without raising the receiver to listen in again, he hung up. Not with the slam Bruce had heard at least five times just during their time in this studio. Just set it down almost timidly, as if it were a piece of crystal instead of plastic. As if he were giving up. It was another few tense seconds before he spoke again. “Three-fourths of the band, that’s seventy-five percent. That’s still a passing grade, right?”

Eric nodded. Bruce repeated the gesture, added a quick “yeah” that didn’t seem to bolster Paul any. Paul still managed a faint twitch of a smile.

“C’mon.”

--

It wasn’t much of a recording session. Paul messed around on the guitar a bit, going back and forth on some lyrics. Eric was too enthusiastic on the drum fills, trying to make up for the tension in the studio, still heavy as L.A. smog in the air. It seemed like it just pissed off Paul further, but for once, he kept all snippy comments to himself.

Bruce just played when he was told, the chords as easy and rote as folding clothes. He knew Paul was looking for that sound—that one melody to bring it all back. That confidence behind a sure-fire hit. Bruce didn’t know what that feeling was like, but it must have been something else, or Paul wouldn’t still be chasing it ten years later. Gold record sales and MTV video rotations didn’t matter like Billboard bullets. Proof of success wasn’t in the tape deck—just in sold-out stadiums and constant radio play.

And Bruce couldn’t kid himself, really. There was no way this album would even get a top-40 single, no matter the press or the songs or the guitar work. No amount of effort could court a burnt-out audience. The old KISS Army had long since devolved into a bunch of twenty-somethings more interested in the stock market than heavy metal. Gene understood that. Paul didn’t.

Paul cut the session about half an hour short. Eric ducked out quickly, just a fluffy mess of curls rushing out the door, and after awhile, Bruce found himself nearly alone in the studio, with just Paul standing there, watching him pack up his guitar. Bruce raised his head, expecting a goodbye and getting a question, sudden and a little edgy, instead.

“How long’ve you been in KISS now?”

He didn’t have to think about it.

“Three years.”

“Three years? Three years and I haven’t ever taken you out to dinner. Jesus. Well. We’ll fix that.” Paul got up, putting his own guitar, one of them, back in its case. “I haven’t had a bite all day. What do you like, Bruce?”

“I’m not picky.”

“Then I’ll be picky. There’s a sushi place a couple miles from here. I’ll drive us over.”

And that was it. Ten minutes later, he was in the passenger’s seat of Paul’s car. Paul fidgeted, stuck in a CD (“the damn things skip as bad as a record, I should’ve got the tape player”). For all his interview claims of not listening to other bands, Bruce knew better. He had Slippery When Wet in there, was tapping his fingers against the wheel to the beat. Always on the lookout for a hook to riff off of, or a turn of phrase to peel away. Something dirty and distinctive. Emulating the other bands wasn’t getting them any airplay, but God, were they all trying.

“They say Mick Jagger’s putting out another solo album this year.”

“Yeah?”

“Yeah.” Paul nodded, turning up the volume. He was always doing that. When Bruce had first joined KISS, Gene had pulled him to the side one day, told him, quietly, that Paul needed to stand or sit beside him during interviews and T.V. appearances. Bruce had thought that was the oddest bit of micromanaging he’d ever heard of, telling him where to stand, or where not to stand. It had taken him awhile—probably half that tour—to really figure out why. Paul’s hearing wasn’t great, and it made his nerves worse. Particularly when there was more than one interviewer, more than one voice he had to focus on. He depended on Gene’s oddly gentle conspiracy, Gene’s automatic willingness to stand next to him and repeat any question for him, to even get out there, as if Bruce or Eric couldn’t have done the same.

“If it does well enough, he might cut out.” Paul said it almost like a dare. Still on about Jagger. Bruce raised his head.

“Of the Stones? I don’t think he would.”

“No, out of the Commodores. Of course the Stones.”

Bruce flinched slightly. He felt Paul’s glance on him, brief and almost softer, heard him clear his throat.

“Sorry. You don’t think he’d leave? Why not?”

“Because he can’t. There’s the money, but… he couldn’t cut out of being one of the Stones, not even if he wanted to.”

“You’re real naïve, Bruce. It’s cute.” Paul skipped the next song on the CD, then, once he’d surveyed the deck, he pushed another button. The CD swapped out with a humming sound, and after a second, Bob Seger came rasping through the speakers. Paul went silent then, except for that slight rap of his fingers against the steering wheel.

Bruce didn’t push for more conversation. Something mild about the weather, maybe, but that was about it. Paul was an oddly adept driver; Bruce had known that beforehand, but being in the car with him cemented it. He threaded through the traffic as adroitly as the cabbie he hadn’t been in fifteen years. Pulled in to the restaurant, a restaurant that didn’t look as luxurious as Bruce had expected.

He knew, three years in, that the flush of fame was more than half a put-on, that pretense was the name of the game, but he was still surprised. Paul and Gene kept a tight fist on KISS’ image, made sure the Playboy playmates and the rented mansions were all the public got a glimpse at. Even tried to keep him and Eric from really seeing what was behind the scenes. The money situation, the tour situation, like the two of them couldn’t count the empty seats from their vantage points onstage. But the put-ons had continued anyway. When they’d had sit-down dinners as a band, depending on the area, Paul and Gene would do their best to go somewhere classy, somewhere the right people would be. Not someplace like this.

He was surprised when Paul stepped out ahead of him and opened the restaurant door for him. Less surprised at the flash of recognition from the hostess, and the hasty way she led them both to a table.

“You come here often, Paul?”

“I’m just a good tipper.”

They sat down. The waitress awkwardly tried to pull back their chairs for them. Bruce cocked his head at that, but let her. She passed out the menus, rattling off the evening’s specials as if she wasn’t used to giving them, taking furtive glances at Bruce that Paul didn’t seem to notice, handing back the menu after barely looking at it.

“I’ll have a Long Island iced tea,” he said, “and he’ll take—Bruce, what do you want?”

“Coke is fine.”

“Are you sure?” Paul paused. “I probably won’t have half of it, if you’re worried about my driving—"

“I’m sure.”

“All right. … Go ahead and start me off on the spicy yellowtail roll, I think.” Paul said it so conversationally that Bruce thought he was still talking to him and not the waitress, at first. It didn’t help that he wasn’t quite looking her in the face, just turned vaguely in her direction. Antsy. The busboy darted over, passed out their glasses of water and a small saucer of lemon slices—Paul must’ve come down here more than once or twice.

It felt odd. The whole thing felt a little off-kilter, as if the tenseness from the studio had lingered like a shot of novocaine in his system. As if there was something—something everyone else was expecting. Bruce gave the waitress a second to scribble the order down before adding his.

“I’ll have a California roll.”

“Damn, you’re really breaking the bank here,” Paul said dryly.

“Nah, just kosher.” It was the first joke he’d even tried to go for since getting in the car, but Paul seemed to appreciate it. Enough to smile.

“I won’t tell. In fact, I might have one myself.” Paul took one of the lemon slices, squeezing it into his glass of water before dropping it in, shoving it down to the bottom with his straw. “Can’t get any farther from yeshiva than Hollywood, can you?”

“There’s always San Francisco.”

“You’re pretty funny when you try, Bruce.” Paul sipped at his water. “Did you go?”

“Go where?”

“To yeshiva.”

Bruce peeled the paper off his straw, shaking his head.

“Nah. Bob did. I wasn’t that interested.”

“Me, either. Hell, I didn’t even have my bar mitzvah. How’s Bob doing these days?”

Bob wasn’t a topic Bruce expected Paul to broach on his own. He blinked, then nodded, answering after a swallow of water.

“He’s good. Still touring with Meat Loaf.”

“Good.” Paul toyed with his straw. “If… if he gets a break, tell me. I’d like to catch up.”

Bob probably didn’t want to catch up. With him, the resentment simmered deep under the surface, probing its way up at regular intervals that only Bruce ever had to deal with. Fifteen years of it. Awhile back, Bruce had gone on a tour of Mount Kilauea, over in Hawaii. The guides had let them walk nearer to the lava flows than Bruce ever thought they would, and one guy almost lost his shoe from taking a second to step on the stuff. That was how Bob was. Volatility that seemed harmless right up until it set you on fire.

“Well, he’s on that world tour now, he’s pretty busy.”

“Yeah.” The corner of Paul’s mouth quirked up faintly as the waitress returned with their drinks. He was looking at her now—he kept looking at her past when she left their table—a wry expression on his face that Bruce couldn’t quite figure out. It wasn’t interest. She wasn’t Paul’s type; not blonde and not beautiful. Just a regular girl with an irregular patron. “I know.”

“I think he’s got a month off in July,” Bruce finally offered.

“Cool. Let me know?”

“Sure.”

Not a whole lot they could talk about that Bruce could see. Bob hadn’t ghosted a track for KISS in five years or so, and with Bruce around, he wouldn’t need to. Maybe Paul was just feeling sentimental, wanting to visit somebody that had been his friend. He didn’t exactly have a surplus of those.

Bruce sipped at his Coke, but Paul was already downing his drink like it was water after a marathon. Strange to watch. Bruce had never seen Paul take more than a single glass of wine at a party. New Year’s saw him more sober than most nursing home residents. Another absence out of Gene shouldn’t have been enough to change that.

“You probably think I’m a prick,” Paul said out of nowhere, waving his hand before Bruce could respond. “It’s fine, everybody does.”

“I don’t.”

“Jesus, Bruce, we’re having dinner, not discussing your contract. You can say I’m a prick if you want to. It won’t hurt my feelings.”

“I think you’re under a lot of pressure right now.”

“Is that what Eric told you to say?”

“No, I’m just—things seem like they’re getting to you.”

“Then it’s that obvious.” Paul laughed. “It’s so obvious you’re calling me out on it.”

“Paul, I’m not calling you out—”

“You are. That’s fine.” The Long Island iced tea was already halfway gone. Bruce hadn’t had more than three swallows of his soda. Paul shifted. “Hell, it’s kind of refreshing. I didn’t think you had it in you.”

“I’m not trying to—” Bruce started, but Paul continued before he could even finish the thought.

“I like it, all right, Bruce? Nobody but Gene’ll even try to tell me off anymore. And he doesn’t care enough to bother.” Paul only paused to take a long gulp of his drink. “Tell me what I should do. Tell me how to calm down.”

Bruce hesitated. His palm felt like wood against the side of his glass of Coke. He’d seen this before out of Paul. Not particularly often, and almost never toward him. That weird, calculated lashing out. It made him feel like a frog in the hands of a biology major. The amount of evisceration didn’t matter; he’d be dead no matter what.

“I don’t know. Look, man, your business is your business.”

Surprisingly, Paul went silent at that. His brow was furrowed, but he didn’t look angry or put-out. He didn’t look much of anything. The waitress came by with their sushi rolls, but Bruce only took the chopsticks in his hand and broke them apart, waiting for Paul to answer, or change the subject, watching him drain the last of his drink and order another without much of a pause.

“My business is your business, there’s the problem. Yours and Eric’s and Gene’s and—and Peter’s, isn’t that a laugh? His share of KISS hasn’t expired yet. God. I’ve been paying his rent for seven fucking years. Serve him right if the new album didn’t sell one copy.”

That was news to Bruce. He tried not to react visibly.

“You don’t mean that.”

“You sure I don’t? A quarter of zero’s still zero.”

“You want the album to do well. So do I. So does everybody involved.”

“It’s not gonna do well. Y’know what me and Gene did? We fucked ourselves over. We threw out everybody that we thought was trying to—to steer the ship out from under us. We stacked the deck so full of yes-men that we couldn’t see past our own asses.” Paul exhaled. “You… you’re never gonna tell me my lyrics are shit. You’re never gonna tell me I’m making a goddamn fool of myself out there onstage. I wish you would. I wish for one minute somebody would tell me exactly—”

“Do you really want someone to hurt you that bad?” Bruce said it softly. His throat felt like wet cardboard. Paul’s gaze—vaguely on his face, nowhere near his eyes, ever— dropped straight down to his drink, his fingers twitching before grasping his empty glass again, as if to steady himself.

“I’d beg them for it. If it’d get KISS back on top again, I-I’d let anyone do whatever they wanted.” Paul finally seemed to notice his plate of sushi. He picked one of the rolls up, slipping it into his mouth. He didn’t speak again until he’d finished swallowing. “Course, that’s not how the music industry works. There’s no—casting couch for a bunch of has-beens. No magic bullet. You can push and promote however you wanna, but if they don’t play it, it doesn’t fucking matter.”

Bruce didn’t know how to answer that. The silence spread like the cigarette smoke from a few tables over. He took in the scent, thinking of barrooms and ballrooms, thinking of KKB’s sad little shows when he was a teenager. The way the three of him would go out there for a handful of people, certain it’d work out, because it was working out for his older brother’s buddies. Because they were on tour, only Bruce didn’t know back then that tour was full of pubic lice and moldy boots, only Bruce didn’t know back then that tour nearly ended only a couple months in. He’d only scratched the surface. He hadn’t understood.

Paul’s second drink was set on the table, the drained glass disappearing like a magician’s feeblest trick. The waitress shot both of them a questioning look, one Paul ignored, taking his first swallow. Three shots worth of alcohol in a single glass of that shit. Three shots on an almost empty stomach. Bruce didn’t want to look at Paul right now. Instead, he looked over at the girl, wanting, strangely, to speak to her, to ask her what her expression was for, what she knew that he didn’t. It seemed—it seemed, strangely, like he ought to know, like everyone else knew—but she was back to the other patrons once she’d refilled Bruce’s glass.

“It isn’t even just about being on top anymore. It isn’t about the—the ego trip the way it used to be. I don’t give a damn these days if anybody recognizes me on the street or not.”

Bruce doubted that. He doubted that intensely. He’d seen Paul peering out the tour bus windows after they were in the hotel parking lots too many times. He knew he was always hoping for the old throng of autograph seekers and groupies. Gene, too. Even Eric, in scattered, abashed moments, would talk about the Australian and European tours back in ’80, the utter insanity of it (“so many girls I could’ve made it with, but I didn’t know any better—I thought they couldn’t want me, man, they had to be wanting somebody else”). Paul could still pick any girl he wanted out of the crowd, have a roadie bring her backstage. He still did it most nights. But the adulation had disappeared before Bruce ever arrived at the scene.

“If I could get a hit… if KISS could fill a couple stadiums, just a couple… then it’d be all right. I’d feel okay. God, who knows, maybe Gene would even show up to record again, you think?”

“He’ll be back anyway, Paul.”

“He won’t. He thinks we’re finished.” He was working on that second glass, almost as enthusiastically as the first. “Ace was mailing in his guitar parts just before he quit. But at least they were his. Gene’s throwing me songs he bought off the nearest wannabe writer on the street. And I sucked it up like an idiot at first because I thought he was gonna come back anytime, say he was sorry, get back to how it was. Instead he lets me handle everything, album after album. He gets credit for the successes like he even showed up. And he blows off the failures ’cause he’s got plenty of other bands he’s managing. Never mind his own.” An exhale. “He doesn’t give a damn anymore.”

“I think he does.”

Paul’s expression changed at that. The cynical cast to his features, the tight way he was holding his jaw, all that shifted, flickered, and for a bare, odd second Bruce could almost see the twenty-year-old Bob had brought over to their parents’ apartment and introduced as Gene’s friend. Then Paul shook his head and the moment disappeared.

“You don’t need to prop me up like that. It’s okay. I can’t give him what he wants, I need to cut my losses and quit trying.”

“Paul, listen, you’re not looking at this right. Gene’s not—”

“You don’t know how Gene is. I could be as understanding as Mother Theresa and he’d still be blowing me off.” Paul paused, drink midway to his lips. “I’m sorry. Am I ever gonna let you talk, Bruce? I can’t afford two therapy bills.”

Bruce shrugged.

“I don’t mind.”

“You’ve got a lot to say and I don’t ever let you say it. Not on MTV or the interviews… God, I act like we don’t all sleep in the same crappy hotels.”

“I don’t really like interviews, it’s fine.”

“Bruce, I’m trying to apologize.”

Bruce’s free hand went to the back of his neck, rubbing awkwardly, before resting back on the table.

“I know what you hired me to do. I’m not expecting anything else.”

“Maybe you deserve it.” Paul’s hand was on the table, fingers curled inches from Bruce’s own. “I like writing songs with you. I never… I didn’t write any with Ace, and Vinnie, well…” He shrugged. “It feels good. It feels real good.”

“I like it, too. It’s fun.”

“It makes me think it’s ’76. Like I’ll turn around and find Bob Ezrin snorting a mountain of coke in the office. And—and Ace and Peter, too, looking like they used to. I can fucking see Ace’s card deck. And Gene’d be right there, leaning up against the music stand—I can fool myself pretty good, when I want.”

“Look,” Bruce said, rubbing his chopsticks together with his finger and thumb, the sound soft, dry, “look, I honestly think things might be turning around.”

“They won’t turn eleven years around. I can’t fool myself that much.” Paul’s expression darkened back up, and he reached for his drink again. More than half of it was gone now. The side of his boot brushed against Bruce’s ankle for a brief moment before pulling back. “My accountant told me to stop sending my parents so much money. Like I was a kid spending all his allowance. I’ve cut so many expenses I’m down to a fucking one-bedroom apartment.”

Bruce’s gaze dropped to the untouched California roll on his plate, and the chopsticks in his hand. Paul laughed again.

“Go for it. It’s fine.”

“I wasn’t really that hungry.”

“Your check’s gonna clear with or without the sushi. Trust me.”

“Paul—”

“In fact…” Paul trailed, pulling his own plate forward, “that’s not how you eat sushi, anyway. When we went to Japan in ’77… we went out to this real authentic restaurant, supposedly. The sushi chef came out there and our guide, she’d translate everything he said… he said you don’t eat it with chopsticks, you eat it with your hands. ’Cause it was fast food, before Americans turned it into something it wasn’t.” Paul paused, picking up the second roll on his plate. “This used to be their version of a fucking hamburger, can you believe that?”

“That’s interesting,” Bruce said, and he meant it, but Paul’s expression got a little deflated.

“It’s not interesting, it’s awful. Like the hula girls in Hawaii. Every-everything turned into a commodity. You gonna eat that roll, Bruce?”

“Yeah, I’ll—”

“One bite.” Paul popped his own into his mouth to demonstrate. A few seconds of chewing, a swallow, and then he continued. “Course, you didn’t get the real stuff, so maybe it doesn’t matter, but…” He waved the waitress back over, absently. “Get him a rainbow roll, would you? Thanks.”

“Paul, c’mon—”

“If you don’t eat it, I will.” Paul said. His eyes looked a little sharper now, a little more intent. Bruce set down his chopsticks, picked up one of the small California rolls on his plate. The rice was sticky and cold against his fingers. He stuck it in his mouth, not bothering with the smear of soy sauce on the dish. The taste of surimi and cream cheese burst onto his tongue, neither excellent nor terrible, just there, competently mediocre. He reached for the next one, almost mechanically, but Paul’s hand was there already, closing over the roll before he could.

“Not real crab, I know,” he said, quietly, “but maybe it’ll taste better this way.” And then Paul had the roll in his palm, extended towards his face like an offering.

“Paul—”

“Go on, Bruce.”

Bruce reached for the roll. He meant to pick it up out of Paul’s hand, but something stopped him. Not Paul, not exactly. Paul didn’t curl up his hand or push it out further or say another word. Maybe it was pity, that bastard child of all emotions, that made Bruce just tip the sushi a little closer with his fingers as he ate it from Paul’s palm. One bite. His tongue didn’t get anywhere near Paul’s skin. But Paul seemed to relax at that. He was starting to smile again, mouth wavering like wind-tossed stalks of wheat in a field. The pads of his fingers brushed up against Bruce’s almost delicately, before he withdrew his hand.

“How was it?”

“Good. It was good.”

“Good.” Paul took another piece of his own sushi, dipping it lightly into the soy sauce. “Want to try some of mine?”

“I—no, that’s fine.”

“You don’t have to worry. Nobody here is gonna bother us.” Paul started in again, conversationally. “Are you shy, Bruce?”

“No. I’ll just finish what I’ve got.” Two pieces left. The waitress hadn’t returned with the rainbow roll yet. Bruce hesitated; for an insane moment he felt like he should add a thank you, but he cut himself off with another swallow of sushi. Across from him, Paul just shrugged and popped his own piece in his mouth, following it up by downing a little more of his drink.

“You are shy. That’s all right. I am, too.”

“Paul—”

“It’s cool.” Paul reached his hand across the table, resting it on top of Bruce’s, running his fingers up and down his wrist. His face was faintly flushed. “I mean, to be honest, it sucks, being shy in a rock band, but—it’s cool, I get it, if you’d rather in private—”

Bruce drew his hand back belatedly. Slowly, not wanting to startle Paul, whose expression barely faltered at all.

“I don’t think so.”

“Bruce—”

“You’ve had too much to make an offer like that.”

“I’d make it sober,” Paul said. Deprived of Bruce’s hand, he shifted forward. A second and Bruce felt the side of Paul’s boot against his ankle again. “You’re a good guy, I always liked you.”

“Paul, no.”

“I did. I always did. You…you’re reliable, you listen, you’re easy on the eyes—Bruce, it’s not—if you’re worried about your job, don’t be, this doesn’t need to—be anything, it’s just—”

“No.”

“Bruce, please.”

“No.” The wet cardboard feeling in his throat was back again. He could feel Paul’s eyes on him, not sharp anymore but suddenly desperate instead, his mouth tight as a steel trap. He should’ve stopped him. Shouldn’t have let him keep on and on. He’d never have gotten to this point then. He’d never peel back this much of himself, like the soft insides of a crab, weak and exposed. Bruce never should have let him do it.

He shifted his foot and stood up.

“Give me your keys. I’ll take you to the hotel.”

“I’m not—”

The waitress arrived with that second plate of sushi. This time she wasn’t looking at them at all. Something caught deep in Bruce’s throat then, something dark that he didn’t want to place or name for sure.

“Bruce, please.” Now Paul was standing, leaning one hand heavily against the table. A step, hand sliding to the edge of the table, and he was in front of Bruce, his other hand clamping around his shirt. Bruce could smell the cologne in his hair, the alcohol on his breath. “It—if you’d just stay with me—"

“Paul, let me have your keys.”

Paul pulled them out. Fumbled with his wallet. Bruce shook his head, taking the keys but nothing else, putting a couple bills from his pocket on the table before Paul could try to argue. He felt Paul press in against him, push his mouth sloppily against his neck, but that was all. No other come-ons or protests. Nothing. He shifted easily after, let Bruce walk him to the car, to the hotel, to his room, even. Bruce didn’t give the keys back until after that hotel door was unlocked and Paul was inside. He was tempted to hold onto them, even then—but Paul’s expression was faltering so badly that he didn’t want to strip any last piece of pride from him. He’d had sense enough to let Bruce drive. Surely he’d have sense enough to stay in his room.

Paul’s fingers closed around the keys for only a few seconds. Bruce watched as he dropped them on the dresser and stumbled to the bed, peeling off his boots, head bent and turned away from him.

“Go on. Would you go on, Bruce? I got it from here.”

Bruce hesitated at the door.

“Go on.”

Every reassurance he could make sounded hollow even in his brain. Even the ones from that afternoon. He couldn’t ease a burden he didn’t have the means to lift.

He turned the knob and left without a word.

--

He didn’t see Paul again until their next recording session. He’d left an apology on Bruce’s hotel answering machine, and a written one under his door, his cursive cramped and uneven, but he didn’t say a word. Bruce didn’t expect him to.

Gene was there at the studio, surprisingly, indifferent, with a copy of Variety open on his lap and a Pepsi in hand instead of his bass most of the session. Paul looked more sunken in than ever, vying for his attention, fooling around and playing riffs nearly twenty years old (“that’s how it goes, Gene, right, do you remember—‘My Uncle is a Raft,’ that’s the first song you ever—“) instead of laying down tracks.

It’s crap, Bruce. They don’t know it. They’re never gonna figure it out. That was what Eric had said, and maybe it was true, but maybe it wasn’t. And maybe he could do something, now that he’d seen past the last desperate bits of glamor Paul had left to offer.

Paul left before he did. Bruce watched him crank his car from where he stood outside the recording studio, the taillights glinting to life, and then the faint sound of the radio before he sped away. Mick Jagger blaring out “Just Another Night.”

Eric ducked out soon after, his ’79 Porsche like an artifact backing out of the parking lot. Gene’s chauffeur was already waiting, engine idling. Gene had the magazine under his arm. Bruce reached over on impulse, briefly grasping his forearm.

“Hey, Gene.”

“Bruce?” Gene looked up at him. “You need anything?”

“Could you do something for me?”

“You need a lift? You don’t have to ask—”

“I don’t need a lift.” His taxi had pulled up. He could picture the meter running, numbers spinning up like years, the inverse of the Billboard charts. “It’s not really for me, anyway. It’s for Paul.”

“What about him?”

“Be kinder to him. That’s all.”

Bruce expected Gene to protest. Give out the old lines he trotted out every interview, we’re like brothers and it’s like a marriage, tired and overplayed even five years ago. Instead, Gene hesitated.

“Bruce, you don’t understand.”

“No, but I’ve got a good idea.” The cab driver was looking at him, staring impatiently. Just a five-mile ride back to the hotel, a five-mile ride that’d take forty-five minutes, easy, this time of day. “You keep on hurting somebody and they’re never going to forget it. Whether this album’s a hit or not. Whether KISS ends up back in stadiums or back in ballrooms. That’s it. That’s all, Gene.”

He didn’t wait on an answer, just walked over to the cab. Gene clapped his shoulder on the way, and for a second, Bruce almost thought he’d say something, or follow him to the cab, something. But he just saw the brief shift of Gene’s expression the second before he shut the passenger door, the faint tightening of Gene’s mouth as he walked past the cab and to his own car, dropping the magazine to the pavement as he stepped inside. Bruce watched the car’s back wheels run it over, and then the cab’s, the pages fluttering on the pavement, nothing but vapid gloss against concrete.

[orlissa]

The more I think about it, the more possible it seems that I might have had coronavirus without realizing it

Okay, I’ll try to make it as coherent as I can, but it’s kinda a mess because there’s a lot of hindsight involved.

To start with, based on what I’ve read, your own immune system is a huge factor in how you severe your infection will be, so like kids might waltz through it basically symptom-free. Now, I have a robust health. I had my tonsils out when I was three, and since then I don’t think I’ve had anything more serious than a cold or food poisoning. I had chicken pox when I was eight, but even that was like slight fever on day one, a couple of spots and full-on health and energy for a week. And on the top of it, I usually just walk off my colds. I don’t even remember the last time I went to see a doctor (I’m a student of the “one week with (expensive) meds, seven days with home remedies” school). Last spring I had to cancel two of my classes due to a more severe cold, and one of my friends, whom I’ve known for years, noted that she couldn’t even remember ever having seen me sick. So yeah, that’s for background.

Now I’ll try to put together a timeline:

25 Feb, Tuesday - I went for a run. I know the date for sure, because that was my first run of the year and I tracked it. The weather was still kinda chilly, but I felt completely okay after it (no burning lungs or anything). However, it was a good event to blame my eventual symptoms on.

27 Feb, Thursday - I had a stuffy nose during the night. I go to sleep late, and I remember that the whole thing started around midnight and that it was mighty annoying. One side of my nose got totally congested, and no blowing would dislodge it.

28-29 Feb, Friday-Saturday - I stayed in Budapest for that weekend because my roommate organized a DC costume party for Saturday (which ended up being a disaster, sadly, with barely anybody coming). I remember feeling a little under the weather on Friday; I might have run a small fever, but I don’t have a thermometer and it wasn’t that bad to begin with. I also woke with a sore troath on both days, but it mostly went away in a couple of hours. By Saturday night I felt totally well enough to go to the aforementioned party.

2 March, Monday - Here’s where it gets a littly tricky. My country didn’t have a registered coronavirus case until... the sevent or eighth of March, I’m not sure, the first couple being Iranian students studying in Hungarian universities. However, one of the first Hungarian patients was registered on the 12th. BUT her son said on a vlog that his mom had a fever as early as 2 March, but no-one was willing to do a test (the assumption is that the government really wanted the first case to be a foreigner to have a cause to further their anti-immigration propaganda). So, at this point, as far as I knew there was no coronavirus in the country, but in hindsight we knew there was. I taught a class on Monday, and even remember joking with my students that “it’s not corona, just a common cold.”

In the following days, as mentioned above, we had our first cases of coronavirus. As for me, by the second I was mostly okay. I don’t remember coughing at all, maybe once or twice. Some sneezes. And blowing my nose. Blowing my nose all the time. Okay, it’s disgusting, but damn, I’ve never had this much snot in my entire life. Honestly. It took about a week to clear up, but I didn’t really keep track of it, because, well, it was just a common cold I got because I went jogging when I shouldn’t have. But in hindsight, it might have been coronavirus (however, no-one I had contact with has had any symptoms, as far as I know)

[eldritchsurveys]

455.

Do you love anyone who's name starts with A? >> No.

When is the last time someone of the opposite sex gave you a hug? >> ---

Who is the last person that made you smile? >> I don’t remember. I just woke up like 2 hours ago, I haven’t even seen anyone.

Do you lose interest in someone easily? >> Yeah.

Who was the last person you flirted with? >> ---

Are you dating the last person you kissed? >> I don’t “date”.

Has anyone ever asked you if you were bi polar? >> No, but I was misdiagnosed as such as a teenager.

When is the last time you cried? >> A couple of nights ago, because the neighbours woke me up at 3am with whatever the fuck they were doing outside and I was so tired and frustrated.

How many people have you given your heart to? >> LOL

Who is the last person that disappointed you? >> Meh.

What's one thing in your life that you wish you could change? >> ---

Do you fall in love easily? >> No.

Do you still talk to the person you fell the hardest for? >> ---

Have you ever liked someone you didn't expect to? >> No.

Are you afraid others will judge you from reading some of your answers? >> No. If I was afraid of that, I would post privately. Tumblr does have that option.

Are you trying to avoid liking/loving somebody at the moment? >> No. I don’t even understand that.

Is there someone that you miss right now? >> No.

Have you ever given your ALL to someone who walked away? >> No.

Do you and your last ex hate each other? >> I don’t hate him.

Has a friendship ended recently that you wish had not? >> No.

Do you think that people are trustworthy? >> I think some are and some aren’t. I also think some are in some areas but are not in other areas. Regardless, I prefer to play my cards close to my chest no matter what.

How many best friends have you had through out you life? >> ---

Who's the last person that slept over your house? >> ---

Have you ever regretted kissing someone? >> Yeah.

Do you think you have made a difference in anyone's life? >> I assume so, because that’s kind of just how shit works.

Has anyone ever made a difference in yours? >> Yeah.

Is someone on your mind right now? >> No.

Are you too forgiving? >> No.

Do you want someone you can't have? >> No.

Is your last ex still someone you care about? >> No.

How do you feel about your life right now? >> It’s pretty all right. I have no major complaints.

Has someone put their arm around you in the past five days? >> Inworld, yeah.

What'​​​s one thing ​you do when you're mad? >> Something completely unrelated to why I’m mad, so I can get over it.

Do you tend to fall for players? >> No.

Do you know anyone who has been arrested? >> Yeah.

Did the last person you kiss have tattoos? >> Yeah.

Are you currently sad about anything? >> No.

Do you pray to God often? >> I don’t pray to God.

How would you feel if your last ex fell in love with someone else? >> I wouldn’t feel anything. I probably wouldn’t even know about it.

Who was the last person who left your life and hurt you? >> Meh.

Do you know anyone who died of breast cancer? >> No.

How long does it take you to get over someone? >> It depends on what kind of connection I had with them. But even then, not terribly long. Not anymore.

Are your parents strict? >> ---

What are you afraid of? >> Meh.

Do people often disappoint you? >> No. Expectations would be required for that to happen.

Did you wake up in a good mood this morning? >> I woke up in a kinda bleh mood because of this damn weather, but it wasn’t a terrible mood or anything.

Are you a good liar? >> I could be.

Do you have any mental disorders? >> I don’t know.

Which one of your friends is the funniest? >> ---

Would you ever forgive your boyfriend/girlfriend for cheating on you? >> It’s not possible to cheat on me.

Are you depressed right now? >> No.

What's the worst thing about your personality? >> I don’t know. I don’t think of my personality like that.

Is there at least one ex boyfriend/girlfriend you can trust? >> No.

Are you picky about who you date? >> I don’t date.

Did you like anyone last summer? >> ---

Have you ever liked someone that all your friends hated? >> No.

Is there anyone that your texting right now? >> No.

Who was the last person that made you upset/angry? >> I don’t remember.

Do you honestly like the person you are? >> Sure.

Have you done many bad things in life? >> Eh, not too many.

Have you ever been arrested? >> No.

Who's your best friend right now? >> ---

Have your parents ever said they were disappointed in you? >> Probably.

Is there a key to your heart? >> No.

Has anyone ever stabbed you in the back? >> No.

Have you ever been called a slut? >> Maybe.

What's the most important thing in a relationship? >> I don’t know. Trust, I guess, of some sort.

Would you date someone 8 years older than you? >> ---

Have you ever broken someone's heart? >> Probably.

Have you ever kissed someone that was the same sex as you? >> Yeah.

What's worrying you right now? >> Nothing.

Do you believe in God? >> I don’t believe or disbelieve. That particular god is just irrelevant to my life.

Does it bother you if someone doesn't like you? >> No.

Would you ever take someone back after they've cheated? >> ---

Do you miss any of your old friends? >> Sometimes, but not in a way that makes me want them back in my life.

Have you ever been used before? >> Probably.

Where is the person you gave your heart to for the first time? >> ---

Do you believe that there's good in everybody? >> I don’t really think of people that way, as “good” or “bad” or whatever.

Are you the same person as you were at the beginning of the year? >> No.

Is there someone you will never forget? >> Maybe, but forgetfulness is not something that I can really control (especially if degenerative diseases get involved) so I wouldn’t know.

Has anyone ever written a song for you? >> No.

Does it annoy you when people play dumb? >> I don’t really experience that often.

If you married the last person you texted, what would your last name be? >> I am marrying the last person I texted, and my name is going to remain the same.

Are you confused about anything? >> I mean, sure. But not at this exact moment.

Do you think anyone has feelings for you? >> Sure.

Are you a jealous person? >> No.

Do you think you could you handle being in the military? >> No. I don’t even listen to my own orders half the time.

Would you ever quit a bad habit for someone? >> Not for them, for myself. But I might use them as a motivating factor.

When was the last time you gave your number to someone? >> ---

Have you thought about an ex today? >> Yeah, because surveys ask about that sort of thing a lot for some ass reason.

Who was the last person to compliment you? >> I don’t remember.

Are you a social butterfly or a loner? >> More on the loner side of the spectrum than the social butterfly side.

Has anyone said they love you in the last week? >> Yeah.

Do you ever think about stuff and start crying? >> Not usually, unless I’m already in a shit mood.

Are you keeping a big secret right now? >> No.

Have you ever walked on the beach at night? >> I’ve been to Coney Island and Brighton Beach at night.

Have you noticed that it's mostly girls who post bulletin surveys? >> Yeah, so?

When was the last time you felt alone? >> I don’t know. I mean, I often feel like that but it’s a low-grade kind of feeling, like the sound of distant traffic.

Do you want to be famous someday? >> No.

Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? >> Sure, just not necessarily from me.

Are you good at hiding your feelings? >> I think I am.

Are there currently any stressful situations in your life? >> No.

Who is the last person that said you were sexy? >> I don’t know.

Did you kiss anyone tonight? >> Tonight hasn’t happened yet.

Who was the last person you cried in front of? >> Can Calah.

At what age would you most like to get married? >> ---

How often do you type ''<3'? >> Rarely.

What if your ex found out you fell in love with another person? >> Dude.

When was the last time your mom yelled at you? >> ---

Do you trust all your friends? >> ---

Do you believe your latest ex thinks about you? >> I mean, he takes surveys and surveys keep asking about exes, so....... lmao

Would you fall apart if that last person you kissed walked out of your life >> I would really, really, really hate to lose Can Calah. But if I did lose him, I’m pretty sure it’s because of something neither of us could control, not him “walking out of my life”.

Do you laugh a lot? >> I don’t know. What’s a lot?

Anyone say they want to be with you forever? >> Sure. That’s just a thing people say for ~teh roamance~, innit?

Could you ever be friends again with someone that broke your heart? >> ---

Do you want your ex to be happy, even if it means not being with you? >> I mean, sure. I don’t wish unhappiness on him or anything.

Is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind? >> No.

Do you know anyone who would just drop everything to come see you? >> No.

When's the last time you were surprised? >> I went to grab the doorknob to my bedroom last night and there was a pair of socks on it. Sparrow had bought them at Meijer for me.

If an ex said they hated you, what would you say? >> Nothing? Like, why are they telling me, lmao, I don’t care.

When was the last time you were drunk? >> I don’t remember.

Ever taken a picture kissing someone? >> Probably.

Are you giving up on anyone/ anything? >> No.

Is there anyone you wouldn't mind punching at the moment? >> Not unless it was for fun.

Could you ever be friends with the person who hurt you most in life? >> Why would I want to be friends with anyone who hurt me that much? I could instead be friends with people who don’t.

Do you have someone of the opposite sex you can tell everything to? >> ---

What's something new you recently learned about yourself? >> I don’t remember.

Do your feelings get hurt easily? >> Nope.

If you see a girl with big boobs, do you automatically think shes a slut? >> What the fuck.

Why did you last cry? >> I could have sworn I talked about that on this survey already.

Would you want to know the date of your death? >> No.

Have you ever suspected anyone of cheating on you? >> No.

Would you prefer a baby girl or boy? >> ---

Are you feeling guilty about anything right now? >> No.

Are you anyone's first love? >> IDFK.

Would you care if your best friend cheated on their boyfriend/girlfriend? >> ---

Whats the last thing you lied about? >> I don’t know.

How old were you when you had your first relationship? >> Meh.

What was on your mind mostly today? >> Nothing specific.

Are you in love with anyone at the moment? >> No.

Have you ever been heartbroken? >> Yeah.

Who is the last person you texted? >> Sparrow.

Who do you trust with your life? >> Can Calah.

Are you very family oriented? >> No.

Are you afraid of falling in love? >> No.

Isn't it annoying when an ex doesn't leave you alone? >> That doesn’t happen to me, but I’d definitely find that annoying if it did.

Who's the last person you told I love you to? >> IDK.

Do you believe that it's best to have a friendship first and then love? >> ---

Have you ever sent a text to the wrong person? >> Nope.

Are you happy with your life right now? >> Sure.

[surveys-at-your-service]

Survey #211

"i was told when i get older all my fears would shrink, but now i'm insecure and i care what people think."

What is your favorite time of day? Morning. What is your third favorite color? Ummm maybe peach. Do you care what others think of you? In most contexts, very much so. How would you dress, if you were the opposite sex? Same style I do now, really. Though not tank tops and dance pants; I'm sure I'd mostly wear loose band or graphic tees and sweatpants. Can you remember your first phone? If so, what kind was it? I think I might? I believe it was a blue one where the keyboard slides out from the bottom. Small and square-ish. What do you do to maintain your eyebrows? Nothing. What was the naughtiest thing you did when you were a child? I bit my sister's back so hard that I made her bleed, lmao. Sorry Ash. What, in your opinion, is the most thirst-quenching drink? COLD WATER. Who is your favorite character from Alice in Wonderland? Cheshire cat. Name the closest body of water to where you live: Atlantic Ocean. What do you like to put on toast? Light layer of butter and then cinnamon and sugar. The true cinnamon toast. Do you like art? Of course. How about theater? I don't have too much of an opinion... other than it has potential to be incredibly cheesy. Have you ever made breakfast for someone? Yes. Do you talk to your crush? If you have one. She's way more than that, and we talk every day. If yes, what do you usually talk about? Loads of stuff. What was the last thing you bought? With my own money, I don't have a clue. Have you ever been considered popular? No. Your signature perfume? I don't have one. Favorite undersea creature? Sea turtles, seahorses, jellyfish... Describe your room with just 5 words. Small, crowded, zoo, artsy, and... idk. Favorite type of chocolate? Milk. What types of things would you plant in a garden? If I actually wanted one, lots of flowers. Maybe tomatoes because fresh tomatoes + bacon and mayonnaise sandwiches are fucking incredible. Favorite attraction at a carnival? Ferris wheel. What toys did you play with as a child? Plastic animals, Pokemon figures, and stuffed animals were common. Oh yeah, I loved Lincoln Logs too. What types of music do you listen to? Various kinds of metal and rock as well as indie. What, without fail, makes you cry? Mufasa dying lmao. What makes a movie really enjoyable for you? A cool plot. Usually fantasy elements. Favorite way to decorate a cake? *shrugs* What gift(s) did you get for your birthday last year? I don't remember. What do you daydream about the most? My future. Name a game you are really good at. Shadow of the Colossus probably, but considering how infrequently I play games now, I'm sure I'm nowhere near as good as I used to be. Whenever I get a PS4 and the remake tho, I'm getting that goddamn white Agro. I never did the timed challenges before, but I think I could do it. What kinds of snacks do you munch on? I don't really have snacks anymore; I try to keep them out of the house so I'm not tempted. If anything though, it'll probably be some kind of chip. What emotionally exhausts you? Socializing. What accessories would come with a doll version of you? A laptop, iPod, and medication lmao. Favorite thing to do when it’s night time? Sleep? I've sure grown into a fun person. How do you like to bathe/shower? With hot-ish water. The most childish part of your personality? I absolutely hate chores. Favorite type of fantasy creature? Dragons. Do your arms move when you walk? I... actually don't know and can't even visualize how I walk right now. Favorite photo search engine? Google. Are there such things as stupid questions? Depends on your age and some other factors, I guess. Do you celebrate April Fools Day? No. I hate it, honestly. Do you doggie paddle or actually swim in a pool? Both. How do you cure boredom? I'd love to fucking know. I'm always bored. Ankle socks or knee-highs? Ankle socks. Do you know how military time works? Yes, but I can't comprehend the time immediately if it's passed 12. What’s your daily routine? Wake up, check the time, use the bathroom, have breakfast, feed my cat, sit on the laptop doing nothing, maybe or maybe not have a nap at some point, shower if I need to whatever time I feel like, also brush my teeth at some random point during the day (unless I have to go somewhere; then I'll do it before I leave), eat dinner, feed the other pets, and go to bed. Did you get in trouble for cussing on accident when you were a kid? I literally yelled "HOLY SHIT, I THINK I SEE A SHARK!" when we were all in the car driving over a bridge and I swear I saw a fin in the water, lmao. Mom was. Not happy. Ever made a snow angel? Yes. Are you short or tall for your age? I'm average. At what age did you learn the Pledge of Allegiance? Idk, early elementary school. What’s the longest you’ve gone without food? When my appetite was like non-existent and I lost a shitload of weight, I think I almost went a full 24 hours. What do you think about most? What's stressing me out. Are you honestly a good person? I don't think I'm a bad one. Where would you like to be buried? I'd rather be cremated. Do you use Bing or Google? Google. Last song you listened to? "Damage" by Fit For Rivals. Last movie you watched ALL the way through? The Shining. Howwww had I not seen it sooner. Last thing you wrote down? The time I was meeting with my job coach on the calendar. What was the last movie you saw in theaters? Detective Pikachu. What is ONE thing your fridge or pantry ALWAYS needs? My day will feel so off if I don't have one Mtn. Dew Voltage. Do you believe more in luck or hard work? That's a good question. Sometimes you can work your ass off and yet reap inadequate - or any - rewards, while some people pick up a lottery ticket once in their life and are suddenly a millionaire. Life's not fair, kids. But I like to think hard work usually prevails. Do you have any metal on or in your body right now? Piercings. What is your favorite thing to eat with dip? Plain chips with sour cream dip... yum. Do you consider yourself a heartbreaker? Nope. Who was the last person to tag a picture of you? Who even knows. I don't get tagged in pictures because I'm never with people to take and tag me in any lmao. Have you ever liked someone much older than you? No. Is there someone you always, secretly hope will talk to you? It's not a secret that I want to talk to Jason ONE last time to apologize on MY end. What was your first favorite band? Backstreet Boys. Are you friends with any bands? A local band, yeah; their guitarist is an old friend. Do you stay up ridiculously late for no reason? Very very rarely now. What’s your life motto? Idk, I've never really thought about it. Last year for school, we had an assignment where we had to choose a popular song to write a story based on. What song would you’ve picked? A popular song? Oh boy, idk. I don't really know what's popular that I like... Well, guess I'll think of old songs I know were. Um... Oh well I love writing sad shit, so maybe "Runaway Love" by Ludacris ft. Mary J. Blige. I already had an RP plot that was kinda inspired by it lmao. Do you like 3OH!3? If I said I wouldn't belt "'CUZ I'M A VEGETARIAN AND I AIN'T FUCKIN' SCARED'A HIM" at a club at 2 in the morning I'd be lying. Did the vacuum scare you as a child? No. Do you have a long driveway? No. Anyone’s grave you visit, regularly? No. Who was your first kiss? First person who kissed me was Juan, first mutual kiss (which I consider my "real" first) was with Jason. What was it like? Were you disappointed? Juan's kiss I didn't want, and it made me confused at the time. I had no clue how I felt about him back then. With Jason, it was incredibly sweet. I was lucky to get like a fairy tale one and not a horribly awkward memory lmao. Do you have an older brother? If so, what’s he like? Yeah. He's super super intelligent and a deep thinker. Very mature and has a great sense of humor. Are you confident? hunty- Have you ever begged someone to stay with you? Yes. Who do you want around you when you’re afraid? More than anyone, Mom. Had separation anxiety as a kid, obviously grew out of it, but if I'm seriously scared, I want my mom's presence. Like if I'm sick (I'm petrified of vomiting alskdfjaowie) or we're having risky weather, stuff like that, I want her with me. Have you ever mistaken something’s shadow for something else? Probably at some point. Indie, rock, electronic, techno, dubstep, or ‘crunk’? The hell is "crunk" music. Rock. Do you know how to read a map? I have no clue 'cuz I've never actually used a real one. Have a friend that looks JUST like a celeb? Not off the top of my head. Are you good at basketball? I used to be, but I haven't played in forever. It was probably my favorite sport that I ever played. Or softball. Are you friends with anyone missing one of their five senses? Not that I know of. How many times have you moved in your lifetime? Three. Are you good at Pac-Man? I was never exceptional. I haven't played it in yeeeaaars. Have you ever been called 'jail bate’? No. Have you ever been seriously addicted to anything? Technology oops like I barely know how to function without it, sadly. Ever lied to get out of going somewhere with someone? Yes. Where did you meet your current or last significant other? YouTube. Do you like to eat pasta? Yes. Do you enjoy wine? Most bitter shit in the world. Noooooooot a fan. How long have you been driving? I've had my permit since senior year of high school (I think senior???), but I still don't have my license. What’s your lawyer’s name? N/A What’s the last thing you watched on Netflix? Good question. Do you play any video games? The only one I play regularly is World of Warcraft; it's the only "ongoing" game I play. Why were you last in the hospital? My sister got into a wreck. Would you ever get a face tattoo? Possibly something small and subtle, but I doubt it. Have you ever gambled? No. What has been your most epic cooking failure? I split a hot dog entirely in half in the microwave because I thought it'd take much longer to warm up than it actually did. Do you read other people’s survey answers on here? Sometimes. Do you agree with the saying ‘distance makes the heart grow fonder?’ With my experience with Sara, yes. Do you know any transgender people? I knew someone who like... swapped back and forth five thousand times. Then one of my friends had a transgender "phase," if it's appropriate to call it that. Have you ever had a parrot sit on your shoulder? Don't think so. In the morning, do you eat breakfast first or brush your teeth first? Eat. Why would you eat RIGHT AFTER brushing your teeth. What sort of window coverings do you have in your living room? Blinds. Has anyone in your life ever treated you abusively? No. How long has it been since your last breakup? A year and a half. What’s the name of the amusement park closest to your house? Uhhh I think Busch Gardens in Virginia? Do you like The Rolling Stones? Yeah. What was the last single item you spent over $100 on? A plane ticket. Can you read tarot cards? No. What is the last non-fiction book that you read? I have zero clue. Do you prefer lemons or limes? Lemons. Do you prefer peppermint or spearmint? I don't think I even taste the difference. Have you ever written a special note in a book? Yeah, I did in a book Jason lent me. Turns out it's a bad idea to write in pen a lil love letter on the back of the front cover to a book that was also for collection purposes lmao, but he wasn't mad. Would you rather have a house exterior made from wood, brick, or stucco? I like wood aesthetically, but I think eliminating wood housing would be a good idea, so brick. Brick also makes me feel safer. What is your favorite candy bar? Those big rectangle Reese's ones with individual blocks. I fucking love them. Have you ever thrown up in public? I know at least one occasion in I believe kindergarten where I did on the classroom floor, oof. Pepsi or Sprite? I hate Pepsi and I'm not a Sprite fan either, but if I had to, I'd drink the latter. How many video games do you own? We have an old CD case just about full of them. Have you ever stripped? No. Even if you are not Christian or never celebrated Christmas, do you think you will raise your (possible future) children to believe in Santa Clause? Why or why not? I don't want kids, but if I did, I probably would. It's just a magical, fun thing as a kid. Who has the most interesting phone cover you know or what was the most interesting one you have come across (in store or online)? Sara has a really cute chameleon one. Would you rather play a game such as World of Warcraft, League of Legends, or an app/Facebook game (Candy Crush, Bejeweled)? Y'all know. What’s the most amount of messages you either woke up to on a social media site or your phone? Idk, not a lot. When you have nightmares, do they normally have the same theme (ex. always being killed) or do they just relate to something going on in your life at the moment/random? They're very commonly either with me dying or about to be raped. Some surveys ask if you ever stepped in dog poop. However, have you ever stepped in animal pee? Yup. When’s the last time you or someone else has overstayed their visit? Whenever Girt last came over forever ago. He always does lmao. Have you ever consumed a full bottle of liquid medicine in one shot? Is there ANY medication you can actually do that with and not die???? Have you ever had a hamster? Yes. If you had a choice, would you rather eat chicken or beef? Chicken. What was your favorite birthday cake like? I don't remember any specifically. Would you prefer bacon or sausage? Tough call, but probably bacon. How many books have you read in the past YEAR? Zero. Do you type with all of your fingers, like you are taught in school? Yes. Have you ever put gum on the bottom of your desk/chair? No, grosses me the hell out. At what age were you the most physically attractive? The least? During high school; 2016. If you intend to get married, what are you looking forward to/dreading about wedding planning? I think planning the vows will be fun (I don't want references to God, fuck saying my dad has to "give me away," etc.) as well as the theme, and then I don't think I'm dreading anything about planning. Who are you most nervous about introducing potential significant others to? Mom. What is the craziest thing you have done to lose weight? I haven't done anything "crazy." Which parent do you most resemble? Idk. What is the best job you’ve ever had? Never had one I liked. How do you feel about monogamy as a whole? It's definitely what I find to be the better option. You're minimizing the risk of spreading STDs, and plus I personally see love as a one-on-one thing, not open to multiple. What is the most exciting thing about your life right now? LOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL What was the most important non-academic thing you learned in high school? Probably some life lessons from my favorite teacher. Have you ever lived alone? Do you prefer living by yourself or with someone else? No. I never want to live alone. Do you and your friends ever talk about your sex lives? I don't have a friend to discuss that with, but I also don't have a sex life. Has anyone ever criticized your appearance? What did they say and how did you take it? Yeah. It was typically about my piercings or how I dressed (particularly ripped skinny jeans), and neither of those ever got to me. I love my piercings and style. How common is it for you to get jealous in romantic or platonic relationships? It's rare. When someone asks you about your number of sexual partners, do you include oral sex partners? I probably would if there was anyone who fit that criteria but I wasn't "fully" sexual with. It's still sexual. Have you ever had a job that deeply affected your personal life? How so and do you still work there? No. What is the most serious injury you’ve ever sustained? When I passed out onto my chin and ended up with a really deep cut, broke multiple teeth, and got a concussion. What were the best and worst interviews you’ve ever had? What made them so good/bad? None stand out for either end of the spectrum. List three people you’ve had crushes on. Just to make it interesting, I'll name people I had crushes on but never dated. Sebastian, Kyle, and Mini. How old were you when you were first head over heels in love? 16. Has loving someone ever made you miserable? Boy, have you heard about my Historical Breakup? How bad are your worst cramps on a scale of 1-10? They used to be easy 10s, but now that BC helps me, I'd say the worst are like... rarely 7-8s. Have you ever thrown up from cramps? No. What is the most physically painful thing you’ve ever experienced? I 110% should've been under anesthesia when I got an infected cyst drained. I wanted to fucking die to get it over with. Do you have an embarrassing period story? If so, what is it? No. Did your school allow you to have pain medicine on you? I think so? I do know you couldn't share it, though. Do you ever comfort eat? I get the urge to when I'm depressed, but I stopped doing it. If applicable, what form of birth control do you use? Pills and not being with a man. What is your sexual orientation? Bisexual. Have you ever questioned your sexuality? Yes. What gender do you identify as? Female. What gender were you born as? Female. Have you ever gotten high off a prescription medication? No. Can you still wear clothes from the children’s section? Pf, hell no. Are you lonely? Very. Do you have allergies? Yes. How old were you when your parents talked to you about puberty? However old I was in 5th grade when we had family life class. Do you take vitamins? Only one I'm prescribed for for vitamin D. Do you like fantasy better than reality? Yep. Have you ever contemplated suicide? Yeah. Have you ever self-harmed? Yes. How many people have you known who were suicidal? Multiple, sadly. What’s your favorite pain reliever? Advil. Who has the cutest baby/babies you know? My acquaintance has an absolutely beautiful daughter. What’s the most expensive thing your car needed to get done? N/A If you had a thousand dollars to spend on a pricey brand you like but can’t really afford (until now of course), which ONE brand would you chose? I have no clue. I don't really know pricey brands that don't have the ugliest shit. How many pairs of flip flops do you own? One. Do you still talk to any of your old teachers? One, yes. She's a family friend now. What color was the dress you wore to your senior prom? Black. Ever go to another school’s prom? No. Ever take Melatonin supplements to help you go to sleep? When I used to have AWFUL insomnia, it was the only way I could sleep. Do you like burning candles or incense? Incense especially. Ever throw a pair of your shoes in the washing machine? How did they come out? Not that I remember. Do you ever venture into the woods? What do you normally do in there? No. Do you like to wear shorts or capris in the summer? No. I hate my legs, nor do I regularly shave. Does your phone have a keyboard, touch screen, or neither? Touch screen. How did you dress your freshman year of high school? Emo. Were you obsessed with the Spice Girls back in the day? Obsessed, no, but I liked them. Have you ever had an encounter with the paranormal? Yes. Would you do your own surgery so keep yourself alive? (ex. stitches) I mean yeah, if I had no choice. Would you rather read poetry or write poetry? Write. Have you ever had any really infected injuries? An ear piercing got an infection once. Is there any band out there that you like every song by them? No. Would you ever work for Google? I mean, I don't see why not? Do people that are ungrateful for everything bother you? Immensely. Are you popular on any websites? No, not really. If you ruled the world, what is the first law that you would make? Probablyyyy the banning of at least single-use plastics, but hopefully plastics as a whole if doable. When was the last time you played jump rope? Not since being a kid, probably. Do you hate it when people look over your shoulder? I can't do ANYTHING if someone is. Do you know anyone who has had a heart attack under 30 years of age? No. If you were starving would you eat food out of a garbage can? If I found something that didn't look dangerous, yeah, in order to survive. When is the last time you had your vision checked? Like two months ago. When is the last time you had your hearing checked? Some time last year when I had that whole ordeal with my ears. Do you know your blood type? It's A-. Do you donate blood/platelets/plasma/etc.? No, I don't drink enough water. Ever been in the emergency room? Way more times than I like. Have you ever been robbed? No, thankfully. Ever kiss someone on the first date? No. Do you own any Burt’s Bees products? No. Dr. Pepper or Root Beer? Dr. Pepper. What’s your favorite picture of your mom? Dad? I have one of Mom I took for a photography course of her laughing, and I fucking love it. She rarely laughs. Dad, I'm not sure. Are you subscribed to anything (Magazines, monthly boxes, streaming sites, etc.)? No. Favorite flavor of cream cheese? ... It has flavors? Do you have any board games? If so, where do you keep them? Yeah; they're at the top of a cabinet in the living room. Is there an ice cream flavor you don’t like? Of ones I've tried (I'm not very adventurous with food), I loathe strawberry. What’s the raunchiest thing you’ve ever stumbled upon? I don't know, don't wanna know. I steer clear of that side of the Internet. Hm, it was probably something on dA that had a mature content filter that I looked at anyway because it had an intriguing name. That site can have some wild-ass shit. How rude is it to snap your fingers at a waiter or waitress? Have you done it before? That is incredibly rude. They're not dogs. I've never done that. Best way for someone to bond with you? Let's talk about deep shit and philosophy. Discuss interesting, unorthodox topics. Show me you have an open mind. What is the first meme you remember seeing? BOY, I don't know. Maybe Overly-Attached Girlfriend? Suitcase, duffel bag, or backpack? Duffel bag. Sci-fi, fantasy, or superheroes? Fantasy. Favorite font? Out of the default options, Garamond. Favorite fairy tale? Fucking FIGHT ME if you say Shrek isn't one. Forget the memes and such, I genuinely love the movies. Favorite tradition? By this point in my life, we don't really follow any traditions... but I do know as a kid I would NEVER let Mom forget we had to make "reindeer food." When a Christmas light show was still here, we would also go there and grab hot chocolate and chocolate-covered peanuts. I miss that. Talent you’re proud of having? I think I'm an above-average writer. Favorite website from your childhood? Webkinz. :') Any good luck charms? Nope. Least favorite flavor of food or drink? Cranberry. Least favorite pattern? Uhhh... I'm not big on animal print. Favorite potato food? Fries my man. Do you call them fireflies or lightning bugs? Fireflies. Lamps, overhead lights, fairy lights, or sunlight? FAIRY LIGHTS. How many phone numbers do you have memorized? Two lmao. Favorite historical era? The Renaissance. What are some must-have Google Chrome extensions? If you don’t use Chrome, how about on other internet browsers? AdBlock. What piece of stand up comedy (10 minutes or less) has successfully made you cry with laughter? Oh boy, a lot. I love stand-up. What little “Easter Eggs” on websites do you love? If you don’t have one on a website, how about in a game, TV show, or movie? Boy, got plenty in games. The secret Silent Hill 4 replica room in Silent Hill: Downpour I especially love; I had no idea it was in the game 'til I played it and found it myself. Then the butterfly barrel in the PS4 remake of Shadow of the Colossus in reference to The Last Guardian is awesome. World of Warcraft's Robin Williams genie tribute is lovely as well. Besides pornography, what is a website you frequent and don’t want anyone to know? Nothing. What GIF reduces you to hysterical laughter every time? Don't know about every time. What things that are legal do you think shouldn’t be? Smoking, but I understand why we can't do that now. What is the closest you have ever been to a major historical event? Idk. What is a skill someone can learn in 6 months that will impress employers on a resume? Microsoft Office programs. What are some meals that are simple to make, but easy to impress people with? Idk. I know nothing of cooking. What bizarre celebrity encounters have you had? None. What is your favorite picture on the whole internet? Oh don't make me go through my Pinterest of Mark pictures. What is a “dirty little (or big) secret” about an industry that you have worked in, that people outside the industry really should know? N/A What is the most outlandish (hilarious, surprising) thing you have ever seen go down in public? OKAY SO one day otw home from my psychiatrist appointment, there was a man dressed in horrid drag walking on the side of the highway in the middle of winter. It was. An experience. If you met someone who has never heard music before (born deaf or what have you), what music would you introduce to them first? Gentle, soothing instrumental things. Like let's listen to the soft SotC pieces, please. What’s a little-known site you think everyone should know about? I don't really know of any. What is a MUST SEE movie that is highly overlooked and is on Netflix? If you don’t have a Netflix, just say in general. Johnny Got His Gun. What quote gives you chills every time you hear or read it? From Amnesia: A Machine For Pigs: "I have stood knee-deep in mud and bone and filled my lungs with mustard gas. I have seen two brothers fall. I have lain with holy wars and copulated with the autumnal fallout. I have dug trenches for the refugees; I have murdered dissidents where the ground never thaws and starved the masses into faith. A child's shadow burnt into the brickwork. A house of skulls in the jungle. The innocent, the innocent, Mandus, trod and bled and gassed and starved and beaten and murdered and enslaved. This is your coming century! They will eat them, Mandus, they will make pigs of you all and they will bury their snouts into your ribs and they will eat your hearts!" Not even mildly exaggerating, I get coooovered in goosebumps every time I come to that point in the game. I just read it twice lmao. When was the last time you bitched someone out? A while back I lost it on Mom about Dad and his wife. Have you ever given a lap dance? No. Are you afraid of plane rides? No, not really. Do you like unique or common names? Unique. Have you ever made a turkey dinner all by yourself? As if. Do you prefer running or yoga? Yoga. What continent would you most like to visit? Africa. Who do you wish you were dating? I'm happy with who I'm dating. What did you always want to do as a kid but were never allowed to do? Hm. I'm sure there's something... What is your favorite ice cream topping? Hot fudge. Is your Bible falling apart? I don't have one. Would you rather have a tail, fin, or wings? Wings. If you live in an apartment, is your landlord mean? N/A What products do you sell, if applicable? None. Is abuse in your past? No. Is there trauma in your past? Yes. Do you know anyone who’s been raped? I don't believe so, thankfully. Of the many different American accents, which one is your favorite? New Yorker. What was the last thing you watched on Youtube? Watched and not just listened to, it was an 8-BitRyan gaming vid. Do you know anyone who had a kid before they were financially stable? Probably half the people I know or more. But I think that goes for everyone. What’s your phone’s wallpaper picture? Darkiplier rip. Have you read any of Shakespeare’s works other than Romeo and Juliet? Yeah - Beowulf and Macbeth. Maybe Hamlet? Is there anything hanging from the doorknob in your room? My purse. Why did you move to where you’re living now? We got evicted and had to find something cheaper. What’s your opinion on wearing pajamas in public? Do you yourself do that? I sincerely don't care, especially if there is damage on the person's state. Like if you're suicidally depressed or very sick in another way and have to go out, don't be a fucking ass and force them to do something that can legitimately be hard for people just to appease the standards society set. A basic rule to me is never make assumptions or ask why they're in their pj's. I do it a lot, depending on where I'm going. Like you have clothes on at least, why the hell does it matter. What’s something you’re really bad at compared to others? Math. Knowing the names of cars. Giving directions and knowing where I even am in comparison to everything else. Do you know anyone who treats retail/restaurant employees poorly? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA BOY DO I but she's been removed from my life. When was the last time someone betrayed your trust? What happened? Idk. But I can say with near certainty aforementioned friend posted our entire last convo on Facebook as she'd done previously, so there's that. Do you usually fill up at the same gas station? Mom usually does. What are some odd habits you have relating to food/eating? I hate eating biscuits in front of new people because I dissect mine to parts, lol. Like I open it and eat what's in it individually, the bread being the last. Do you like Oregon Trail? I love that shit. As an adult, do you want to live in an apartment or a house? A house. Do you like the stem or leafy part of the broccoli? Stem. Do you believe in the “innocent until proven guilty” idea? Depends. Not always. Do bats frighten you? No, I love bats!!! What’s a song that reminds you of your special someone? THERE'S SO MANY!!!! Does Paris appeal to you? Yeah. Are you a KPOP fan? No. Do you believe in the phrase “if it’s meant to be, it’ll be”? Nope, bullshit. First time you kissed the last person you kissed? June 2018. Do you have to really know someone to kiss them? Absolutely. I have to actually be romantically interested in you. Well, to kiss you on the lips. Kissing family on the cheek and such is different. Were you anyone’s first kiss? No. Will you keep your last name when you get married? No, please take that shit away. Where was the last place you held hands at? I'm not sure. If you could live in any home on television what would it be? BITCH take me to the Addams' Family home. Do you think morals are universal or relative to the beliefs, traditions, or practices of individuals or groups? Mostly universal. Like just to give an example, some Christian religions forbid eating shellfish, so while avoiding shellfish is moral to you, is it really immoral to eat it? Is torture ever a good option? If no, why not? If yes, when? No. It's just... so inhuman. Regardless of what one has done, never lose your grip on being one. Be a moral human being. Don't succumb to that evil. What do you think is one one of the most undervalued professions right now? Teaching. Have you ever seen anyone have a heart attack? No, thank Christ. Have you personalized your answering machine/voicemail? No. What’s your favorite horror movie? I really love both The Blair Witch Project films, The Shining definitely joined the top tier when I watched it recently, and The Crazies is great, too. Would you say you have a high sex drive or not so much? I'd say it's normal. What was the worst thing a friend has either done or said to you? Oh boy, who knows. One of the billion things Colleen said and did. Something you feared as a kid but don’t fear anymore? Taking the last answer because it's like the #1 thing: death. It's inevitable, and immortality seems horrible. I just hope I go with the least pain possible. What is your opinion on girls who become obsessed with their boyfriends? lmaooooo been there sweetie, don't do it. Are you biracial? No. What’s the most unique pet you’ve owned? My champagne ball python. Do you have a fence? On either side and at the back of the house. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust? Just my psychiatrist. I feel bad for not including Dad, but nightmares fucked me up hard. Does your family use coasters? Is anyone in your family excessively tidy? No. Do you still have your tonsils? Yep. Do you think making out is slutty? ... No...? Well, at least if you're in a relationship and love the person. Just casually doing it, quite honestly yes, I think it's slutty.

[junioradventure]

A Month Into Teaching English in Korea: an Update

So, it’s roughly been a month since I’ve been teaching at my hagwon. I can’t believe that a month passed already! I wanted to post an update about how things have been. I’ve had my fair share of struggles, so stay tuned hahaha.

First of all, the curriculum we have to teach is really not that hard to adjust to. Since our school provides us with the materials, prep time is not too bad. It’s mostly printing out the students’ weekly homework reports (depends on the class), worksheets, and downloading audio files. Each class, I have to cover a unit in the textbook. It’s quite straightforward.

The problem mostly lies in the fact that a great deal of the material can be so bland... Which contributes to a lot of the lack of interest during class LOL. And it doesn’t help that the classes are only 40-50 minutes along, so there isn’t really a lot of time to fit in additional material that I might be able to do to boost interest in class. It’s a difficult situation, but it’s mostly something that I have to just accept, unless I have the time to try and fit in my own ideas for class.

Which leads me to some other issues I found during my first month of teaching. Although I really do like teaching some classes in particular, there are others that are more difficult because there are either a. sleepy students (some kids have fallen asleep in class, and they said it’s because they’re really tired) b. really quiet students, or c. really loud, disruptive, and wild students. Mind you, this is my first time teaching an actual class, so even though these kinds of students are pretty typical in any given classroom, it’s shocking when you actually experience having to teach them LOL. 

For the sleepy students, I really feel for them, they come here after their actual school, and then sometimes have to leave really late (9-10pm for middle schoolers!) and then they have to go home to do homework due the next day. I know the education system in Korea is no joke. It just feels really discouraging when there are those few that doze off in class. I know not to take it personally, but I still kind of do since I have to wake them up and encourage them to push through the material LOL. Thankfully, I only experienced this with two students. One of them stopped dozing off in class but has now turned into a really loud, disruptive, and wild student... The other is just constantly sleepy, but he’s really smart and can do the work in class easily. He just nods off quickly. I’m thinking of ways to make the class more active, but there’s only so much we can do since we have to get through the book material. Thankfully, this problem isn’t too huge.

As for the quieter students. I have this one class in particular where I ask questions and I am met with awkward silence *cues Stray Kids’ ‘Awkward Silence’* and they don’t really participate much. 

Me trying to be enthusiastic in class but the kids hit me with the ol’ silent treatment... *awkward smiles*

The first time I experienced this, I was so drained after. This really begs the question, which is worse, a class full of rowdy, crazy students, or a class where getting them to participate is like pulling teeth? Truth be told though, I don’t know much about this class, so maybe I should think more about what I can do. I’m sure they’re mostly, if not all introverts too, so that’s also a factor to keep in mind. It’s not a bad thing, just a different perspective!

And the crazy, loud ones... sigh. Although they do put a smile on my face, sometimes it’s just too much and it’s really mentally exhausting dealing with them. It doesn’t help that the kids don’t really see the foreign teacher as having a lot of authority in class, and that discipline is also not really a thing for us to carry out. I’ve found going to the Korean teachers for the appropriate advice and measures helps a lot. They got my back, which is such a relief. I’ve learned to be a bit firmer now since I started off really compassionate about their behavior, and I felt “too nice” too, until my coworker told me for certain wild ones, being firm and strict is necessary. Sound advice, and will continue to do so, but I’m still gonna be sweet when I can LOL.

However, I do like getting to know my students better, and sharing jokes and fun conversations in class! For example, a few students like Pokemon so I drew some on the white board for fun, and they were so hyped lol. One of them brought their switch to class to show me their Let’s go Pikachu team and I was like “OMG DON’T BRING IT TO SCHOOL THAT’S DANGEROUS, SOMEONE MIGHT TAKE IT” Lol. Oh wait, Koreans don’t steal. Never mind. HAHA. Also, some of my students are realizing that I like kpop too. One of them was really shook because I knew BTS’ “You Never Walk Alone” album title when they made a pun about it in class LOL. She was like, “Are you an ARMY?” with a shocked face HAHA. I’ll be able to chat with them about it as we progress through the semester, so that’s a fun way to bond with them~

How my students look and act some classes.

But overall, my job is not super stressful or horrible. I do have my share of stressors, but it’s still a job nonetheless! I am still getting into the routine of each teaching day, printing worksheets, posting homework, writing detention lists, submitting my daily reports, and extra assignments that come up. I had a hard time yesterday because I totally forgot about extra essays I had to give in class. It didn’t help that I was feeling under the weather and pretty bad about it, but that was a blow to me and I felt so overwhelmed. It’s taught me another lesson in stress management. I’m still not the best at letting things go and pass so that I can stop stressing about it, but I was thankful for my coworkers telling me that it will be okay, and I can just adjust the schedule next week to get the essays done in class! I know it will be fine, everything works out eventually!

Furthermore, especially for the real young ones, I don’t feel like just a teacher. I feel like a babysitter caretaker. I teach one class of first and second graders, and a lot of them just started attending this semester. They can get rambunctious, but they’re literal kids so it’s understandable! It does tire me out sometimes though, when I have to constantly tell them to finish their book work. I’m learning that I have to be there emotionally for them as well, when no one else can. 

Yesterday, one particular student who is easily the rowdiest kid in my class was feeling down. They started off class per usual, going up to me, hanging on me, and treating my tummy like their own personal pillow. He literally calls me his cushion... I think it’s kinda adorable in a way, and he is LOL. Anyway, not even halfway through class, he stopped doing his work and put his head down. The other kids were hooting and getting all bouncy because of it, and at first I didn’t think too much of it. One kid said he was faking. I continued class, but as time went by, he didn’t bounce back like how he usually does. I went up to him and asked him, in a calm and kind voice, “What’s wrong?” in English. He refused to look at me. 

Oh yeah, so my school has an “Only English” policy for foreign teacher classes. Which, in theory, makes a lot of sense. A ton of kids, ESPECIALLY these youngins, keep trying to make me speak Korean, or “find out” if I can, which I have to play coy about. But in situations like this, where emotional support is also something a teacher could provide, and asking him, “Why?” and, “What?” in English wasn’t helping, I asked him in Korean, “What happened?” He eventually murmured, “Something sad happened to me.” I asked him if we wanted to talk about it, but he said no. I also asked him if any of his classmates made him sad, or if I upset him (since I did tell him sternly to behave prior), but he said no again. Thankfully, it was already the end of class, and I told him to cheer up and enjoy the weekend. He nodded cutely, and seemed visibly better, and dare I say appreciative that I checked up personally on him.

It broke my heart to see him so gloomy about something I didn’t know about, but I genuinely hope the weekend gives him a lot of rest and fun with his family. Knowing him, he will bounce back and be as playful and rowdy as usual again. But it taught me another lesson.

Anyways, that’s all I can think of at the moment. This post got really long too, LOL. I’ll write down things whenever something else important happens in class! I know I’ll continue to learn from these experiences!

[princess-of-the-corner]

Okay, so this Au that I’m tentatively calling ‘Miraculous Trio’ was suggested by an ask. But here’s the basic concept.

All the Miraculous have the ability to purify the Akumas, so Fu doesn’t send out the Ladybug and Black Cat. Instead, he picks Alya, Nino, and Chloé to be the Fox, Turtle and Bee. Shenanigans ensue to the point where Marinette and Adrien are the stable background romance we get from Canon!DJWifi

I’m just gonna run through episodes and discuss what will be different. Some things will be repeats because a lot of my ‘Chloé is being better’ stories have similar plot threads.

Season 1

Origins Part 1:

Alya and Chloé are both 110% on board with being Superheroes.

Nino is a bit more hesitant, but does decide to do something since he can.

The three run into each other and pick names.

Chloé is already sort of doing the ‘redemption arc’ thing with this, by using Queen Bee as a fresh start to be nicer without backlash.

So while she’s still snarky, she pushes down her ruder comments and is more actively helpful.

They all save the day, but somehow all three of them forget to catch the Butterfly

Origins Part 2:

All three are pretty bummed out about their previous failure, but think ‘hey, even if I quit, the other two will still go out, right?’.

When Stoneheart attacks again, all three decide ‘no, I might not have gotten it right the first time, but I can do something so I will!’, and find hiding places to transform.

All three get that signature ‘Hawkmoth can suck a dick’ speech, vowing to protect the city.

The whole event inspires Marinette to stand up to Chloé in class, which makes Adrien go ‘Heart eyes motherfucker!. (Chloé’s grumpy about it, but will help him. Like all my AUs).

The Umbrella Scene™ happens the same, so Mari also has a crush on Adrien now.

Alya starts up a blog for the Heroes, both as a way to boost her career by pulling some Peter Parker shit, but also to gather information. I’m calling it ‘Miracublog’

She drags Nino into it, as he has a talent for video editing. This partnership starts a low-key romance.

I always have Chloé head the merch department. It’s fun.

Stormy Weather:

When Alya and Marinette take Manon to the park to see Adrien’s phototshoot, Mari and Adrien get stuck with Manon in the ice carousel while Alya’s like ‘I’ll go get help!’.

While the Trio fight Stormy Weather, Mari and Adrien have some bonding time. Adrien absolutely flirts with her, and Mari is a disaster, but she learns to chill(HA) around him much earlier.

The Bubbler

I was debating on if this would be different, as ‘The Heroes being Akumatized is Bad™’, since all three members are able to purify Akumas, it’s not as big of a problem.

Rena and Queen Bee are a little worried that Carapace doesn’t show up for the fight, but he makes up a lie of ‘oh I was on the other side of town and couldn’t get away in time’.

The Pharaoh

The book isn’t a factor.

All three end up at the museum, because there’s hints to other Miraculous there, not just the Ladybug.

Chloé dragged Adrien with her and he ends up as sacrifice instead. He still livestreams the thing because Alya and Nino had given him and Mari a connection to livestream directly to the Miracublog(a precaution to keep an eye on those two if they end up in trouble)

Lady Wifi

I honestly have no idea how this would go. Like I know I said any of the Trio could be Akumatized because it’s not as big a deal in this one but…

Since Alya is a Hero, she has a much healthier respect for Secret Identities, and wouldn’t be digging into it.

I’m just going to say that this one didn’t happen. Maybe something else could Akumatize her, but idk.

Timebreaker

Mostly the same in setup, but the fight goes differently:

Chloé is the one who does the self-sacrifce thing (because even though she’s still not the best person, she is much better of a person as a Hero, and has learned to consider Rena and Carapace her friends, and would die for them)

Rena and Carapace get sent back with Timebreaker.

Once they fix everything and Queen Bee is back, they both actually hug her and she’s kinda confused.

Rena and Carapcae give her the ‘don’t you ever fucking do that again!’ speech

QB kinda accidently confesses that she sees herself as a bit expendable. They don’t really /need/ her to defeat the villain of the day, and tbh they’re better people that she is in general

While they admit they don’t know anything about her Civilian life, they know Queen Bee. And Queen Bee is Exceptional and Irreplaceable.

She kinda cries a little but pretends she isn’t until she gets home.

Mr. Pigeon

Hey! No one’s allergic to feathers here!

Much like my other ‘Chloé is being nicer’ fics, she doesn’t outright try to steal Mari’s hat design.

Everything else is pretty the same.

Evillustrator

Chloé does kinda think about the stuff Marinette says about Sabrina, but it get’s pushed away for now because Akuma

Evillustrator still tries to get Mari on a date with him, and she uses that connection to the Miracublog to show the team where he is/what he’s doing.

The Trio all kina give him a ‘Bitch she ain’t into you!’ speech.

Evillustrator tries to go after Chloé again, and gets frustrated when she isn’t in her room

He asks the Team where they hid her, and Queen Bee’s just like ‘Bitch it’s not like she can’t just go shopping or down to the restaurant! Why does she have to be alone in her room right now? Fuck you!’

Nath thinks all the Heroes are cool, but doesn’t develop a crush.

Adrien, on the other hand, is a little jealous.

Rogercop

This happens because Trixx is like ‘I think I will cause problems on purpose! >:3c’

He steals Chloé’s bracelet and everything after happens.

When Queen Bee sees Rena have the bracelet later during the fight, she demands to know where she got it and learns about Trixx being a prankster.

Post-fight, she sets the record straight about the bracelet, telling Roger ‘it was stolen, and you would’ve found that out if you’d actually done your fucking job!’.

Copycat

Well, there is no ‘Chat’ to copy, so this would be different…

How about when Alya is helping Mari with the phone thing, she doesn’t skip out, thinking it’d be fine if Rena doesn’t make it to the statue unveiling.

Théo gets upset about that, and is a copy-fox? Kinda Volpina-ish.

Dark Cupid

These three are trying to get Mari and Adrien together, meanwhile Alya and Nino are trying to figure out their own love life because they’re trapped in their own version of the Lovesquare.

Chloé still rejects Kim. And while she isn’t as harsh, he’s still upset and Akumatized.

Queen Bee does get hit by Dark Cupid’s arrows, but her feelings toward everyone are so all over the place that it doesn’t entirely effect her. She’s extra rude to her teammates, but she’s able to pull together and still fight despite that.

Horrificator:

Like most AU versions of this I wrote, Chloé is more on board with the Adrienette ship, and this Akuma isn’t entirely her fault.

Darkblade

Without the responsibility of being a Hero, Marinette has no issue trying to be Class President!

Chloé is too busy with being a Hero to bother with any sort of blackmailing.

The Mime

Mari still accidentally erases a video Alya showed her, and she runs through the fight trying to track down the Heroes to remake the interview.

Alya is so touched that Mari would do that for her, and tries not to hug her on-site.

Kung Food

Pretty the same for my ‘Chloé is being nicer AUs’. Accidental sabotage instead of being a dick.

Gamer

Pretty the same, though Adrien invites Marinette to compete instead of her just jumping in. They get their cute not-a-date at her place.

No clue where the Heroes would get a giant robot though.

Animan

The Zoo Trip is plan ‘let’s set up Adrienette’. Though Adrien and Marinette think it’s a plan for them to set Alya and Nino up together.

Rena tosses Adrien and Marinette in the cage. One of them makes a joke about ‘oh, are all our dates going to be like this?’ and they kinda realize that yeah, they’ve kinda had a couple ‘dates’ that were ‘we are being attacked’, and end up talking and realizing the mutual pining and end up together.

Rena is also off her game during the fight since they are fighting her dad, though she can’t tell the others that.

Anti-Bug

The Vanisher part is mostly the same, though the fight was over something different as Chloé probably doesn’t dress up as herself for cosplay.

During the Vanisher fight, Chloé can’t get away to Transform, but she still tries to help.

However, due to Rena and Carapace’s knowledge of Chloé as a person, they’re very upset and hostile toward her.

Eventually Chloé snaps at them, because they trust Queen Bee, but not Chloé. And while she gets it, it hurts. Because she’s the same goddamn person.

And okay yeah we’re using this as the Reveal Episode again.

This would probably be the Queen Wasp episode, as we’ve already had a copycat Fox. Hawkmoth doesn’t catch on to the identity thing though.

After she’s de-Akumatized, everyone ends up having their reveal because Rena and Carapace try to explain why they didn’t trust ‘Chloé’. And like, she gets it. Because she knows how bad she was.

The three agree to still be a team, to trust her more, and to work together to help Chloé be better.

Also now that the Alya/Nino lovesquare is fixed, they start dating. Mostly as civilians though it does come through as Heroes.

Puppeteer

Pretty much the same, though either the Lady Wifi doll doesn’t exist, or it’s replaced with something else.

Reflekta

Again, like most ‘Chloé is being nicer’ fics, she’s less of a jerk here.

Well, she gets snarky about Reflekta’s design. But you know.

Guitar Villain

Pretty much the same(especially Mari being Jagged’s niece now!)

Only thing I’d add is Chloé and Fang interactions because fuck you I like the idea of her adoring this puppy-like crocodile.

Pixelator

Mostly the same.

It does give Alya a bit of perspective on her journalism career though. Sure, she’s not paparazzi or a tabloid reporter, but still.

Princess Fragrance

Goddamn it Rose this was not a good episode for you SPRAYING STRONG PERFUME IN A SMALL CLASSROOM IS A HEALTH HAZZARD AND ESPECIALLY A FIRE HAZZARD IN THE SCIENCE ROOM

Sorry had to say that.

I think for this it would be Wayzz getting sick. Though whether he’s sick or just faking because he misses Master Fu is up in the air, as he suddenly gets better when the Akuma shows up!

Wayzz doesn’t get yeeted like Tikki did in Canon though.

Simon Says

Adrien and Marinette are adorable, and Adrien doesn’t have to do the ‘uh.. I gotta take a shower!’ thing.

Instead, Nino is the one who’s like ‘Hey man, can I borrow your shower for a bit?’. Adrien is confused but doesn’t know if that’s weird or not.

Rena and Carapace quickly get frustrated trying to talk to Gabriel, but Queen Bee knows how to handle him and get him to stop being a fuck(Years of practice).

Volpina

So I know I kinda wrote this before but…. Tbh I’m retconning it a little bit.

Lila shows up and does the whole ‘I’m totally Bffs with the Hero Squad!’ thing.

Said Hero Squad immediately clocks her as a liar and ignores her.

Adrien still finds the book in his father’s safe and brings it specifically to show them

Much like how I always have Chloé figuring out Adrien is Chat Noir, Adrien has figured out Chloé is Queen Bee. Due to her sudden closeness to Alya and Nino, he figured them out too.

He slipped up while talking to Mari once and oops now she knows too!

So yeah he figures ‘show them the book’.

Lila still tries to get all cozy with Adrien, but everyone goes ‘he has a gf so get your hands off!’.

Mari is suspicious of Lila anyway, but no one brushes her off as ‘jealous’.

The Trio ask to borrow the book from Adrien, and he agrees as he also agrees to meet Lila in the park later.  

Originally I wrote Lila trying to do the ‘I’m totally Rena Rouge’ thing, but tbh she’d probably make up a Hero instead since we already had a copycat Fox.

Not sure which one she’d pick, but whatever. She still bought jewelry to try to trick Adrien.

You know what? I want Carapace to be the one to lose his cool here. Because Nino doesn’t get as much attention.

He wanted to keep an eye on what Lila was doing, and maybe take a chance to pull her aside and say ‘hey, maybe don’t try to paint a target on your face by telling anyone who will listen that you know the Heroes??’.

But when he hears everything she says to Adrien, he just snaps and calls her tf out.

Lila gets Akumatized into whatever Hero she made up while Carapace informs Rena and QB about what just happened.

They all fight Lilakuma, and this time she actually does kidnap Adrien to the top of the Eiffel tower.

Once she’s defeated, no one really apologizes. Carapace felt a little guilty for yelling at her like he did, but Rena and QB agree that it was necessary.

They all go visit the Guardian together.

Christmas Special

Adrien still sneaks out, though not with Magic.

No Heroes show up to kick Santa’s ass, so he’s Akumatized differently.

The big party still happens though.

Season 2

The Collector

Carapace might be having too much fun hitting Gabriel.

Chloé’s the one who takes the fall for having the book, because she’s the one who would most likely get forgiveness instead of annoyance. (You can pry Uncle Gabriel out of my cold dead hands!)

Despair Bear

Like most ‘Chloé is being nicer anyway’ fics, the actual attempt goes better, but trying to encourage her though the threat of humiliation is not helping.

Prime Queen

The three have different reactions to the interviews

Carapace is the most awkward, but keeps his cool.

Rena tries to interview Nadja back by asking what it’s like being a reporter.

Queen Bee is used to interviews and playing the crowd.

Things go downhill when Nadja tries to get the romance angle. Everyone’s noticed the Rena/Carapace thing, but she goes further by attempting to spin it as a ‘love triangle’ by throwing QB in there somehow.

They shut that down and end up shutting down the interview altogether. Alya has a mini-crisis and is all ‘if I ever get like that when interviewing someone, please smack some sense into me!

Befana

Pretty much the same

Riposte

Mostly the same, though Kagami doesn’t end up with a crush on Adrien as he’s already taken.

Or I could toss in the Adrien/Marinette/Luka/Kagami polyship idk.

As there’s no jealousy or misunderstandings, Marinette and Kagami get along real early!

Robustus

Mostly the same tbh.

Gigantitian

Since the Adrienette ship is already sailing, there isn’t a plan here.

Maybe they’re planning a big date and the girl squad is there to help?

Dark Owl

Pretty much the same.

Glaciator

Well, all the couples and romance drama is sorted out. Except for whatever’s up with Chloé.

Perhaps she gets skeptical about the ‘Soulmate Ice Cream’ thing, especially with her vague flavor combo and it turns into a thing.

Sapotis

So… I think this is when we can toss in Snake!Marinette! After all, this was the episode where they first started bringing in new teammates!

Alya knows that fighting her little sisters will make her off her game, and there are so many copies and that whole ‘unbridled chaos of small children’, that the group decides that having Second Chance would be good, and they decide to give it to Marinette.

Chloé agrees, but argues for Adrien to be a teammate too.

Mari is hella nervous, but tbh once she has her mind set on something she can run circles around them. And with the power of Second Chance letting her know exactly how things go down? She’s unstoppable!

The Trio is in awe.

Also fuck you let her keep her Miraculous.

Gorizilla

We can take out the plot point of Gabriel suspecting that Adrien is a Hero, because he’s very obviously not in this AU. Carapace is the only male Hero, and even with the Magic Bullshit that lets a tiny mask hid their identities, it’s obvious he looks nothing like Adrien.

That said, everything else is mostly the same.

Captain Hardrock

No Lukanette unless I’m going for that polyship

Everything else is pretty much the same.

Zombizou

Again with the ‘Chloé is nicer so this is different’ plots.

Syren

No issues over not knowing the Guardian, since the Trio all know him. Maybe this is when Mari gets to meet him?

Frightengale

Not entirely sure how to work with this one because none of the usual plotlines would make problems in this.

Chloé’s nicer, Adrien doesn’t have a secret identity, even if Mari auditioned for a role she wouldn’t be put as her own Hero Persona, etc.

Troublemaker

Pretty much the same, though instead of just the ‘embarrassing wall of Adrien’ thing, it’s a wall of pictures from Marinette’s dates with Adrien. Still pretty embarrassing, but more cure and less stalker.

Anansi

Debated about this being a ‘new teammate!’ episode since it was originally, but… eh.

They’re enough to take her down.

Sandboy

Pretty similar, though adjusted for everyone’s personal nightmares.

Reverser

Again, similar, but also can I just say once more: What the FUCK Nathaniel???

Frozer

Instead of the romance shenanigans, this is a group hangout to try and get Kagami more friends. So, like, most everyone is there.

Style Queen

Everyone meets Chloé’s mom and wants to commit a murder.

Seriously they’re all like ‘no wonder you’re the way you are but also fuck her!’.

Adrien still gets glittered, though it’s less of a problem.

The Heroes take Style Queen down fairly well.

Queen Wasp

Audrey is still the worst.

When Chloé starts to hit her breakdown and almost reveals her identity, both Adrien and Marinette tackle her and stop her, dragging her off under disguise of ‘yeah no I think we’re going over here!’

Chloé finds out that they both know, and while she’s annoyed that they figured her out, she is kinda grateful they kept her from fucking up.

They all have a talk and help Chloé begin to see how horrible her mom is and that she doesn’t need her approval.

No akumatization actually happens

Malediktator

So like my other fics that focus on this, Chloé’s dad is still attempting to fix this whole mess and he gets Akumatized.

This is when we bring in Dragon!Adrien because letting the boy go lightning is the best way to deal with this.

He also keeps his Miraculous because fuck you.

Catalyst

Pretty similar, though Lila doesn’t have her Volpina powers. Or maybe she does? Hawkmoth could totally make her an Illusionist this time even if he didn’t the first time.

Either way, a fake event of the Heroes being defeated that causes despair and all that. Everyone shows up to fight.

Some of the despair is negated by the Team linking into the Miracublog to assure people that it was fake and just the work of an Akuma

Mayura

No one gets taken down in the fight. Rena and Carapace have the battle couple dynamic down, so they wouldn’t get taken out by the other being hit. Hawkmoth doesn’t know Chloé’s identity, and Mari and Adrien are too sunshine-y to be Akumatized over this fight.

The rest of the battle is pretty much the same though.

Season 3:

 Backwarder

Like other rewrites of this episode, there isn’t any romance drama to cause the letter mixup, so the actual Akumatization happens differently.

Everything else is probably the same.

Weredad

God I don’t even know. ‘Chat Noir’ isn’t a thing, we don’t have identity drama. Maybe it’s a thing of Mari’s parents find her interacting with Dragon!Adrien and get a little protective because ‘back off she has a bf!’

I’m not sure.

Chameleon

The five all know Lila is a trick ass bitch.

some gave her the benefit of the doubt on her other lies, as she couldn’t possibly be lying about everything

But Alya and Nino are looking into things themselves and listening when Mari says things like “Jagged Stone has a crocodile, not a kitten’

Without Alya’s support, Lila’s sway over the class isn’t as strong, but the girl is good at manipulating the crowd.

She frames Mari’s issues as jealousy, of course. ‘Apologizing’ for what happened before because she ‘totally didn’t know Adrien was dating someone!’, and this is just Mari being a jerk over that.

She also frames Alya’s thing as jealousy over the Miracublog. Because ‘You might be the best news source, but you’re not the Hero’s BFFs like I am!’.

They do get to counter with what Lila did in the Volpina episode, lying about being a Hero to impress Adrien.

It’s kinda brushed off as ‘yeah that’s shitty but she’s sorry and it’s not like that means she’s lying about everything!’

Lila thinks she can win over Adrien and Alya, and they’re the most ‘useful’ to her. So she focuses on trying to ruin both Marinette and Nino, with an extra focus on breaking up Adrienette and DJWifi. She also thinks ruining Chloé will be easy due to her reputation.

She doesn’t do the one-on-one confrontation though, so no one really knows how much of a threat she is. The crew decides to just deal with her as time goes on.

Animaestro

I know I save the copyright violations plot for Lady Luck but I can’t resist! So yeah the movie team didn’t get the Heroes’ permission to make a movie and Chloé is giving the legal smackdown.

While Adrien was a voice in the movie, he didn’t play one of the Trio as he couldn’t really do any of them properly

He does end up voicing himself in a way though. Because the Movie Crew had to make up OCs to be the ‘Civilian Rena, Carapace, and QB’. Adrien voiced ‘Civilian QB’s brother’ who happened to be dating ‘civilian Rena’s best friend’, both of which were hinted at becoming the Dragon and Snake in the sequel that will never happen.

The Team is a little concerned with how close to home those OCs are.

Marinette and Kagami are friends so no sabotage!

Speaking of, Mari was invited as Adrien’s date instead of her helping her parents. Though she does still help a little.

Bakerix

Mostly the same.

Silencer

Mostly the same except for the lack of Lukanette.

Oblivio

I already said that the team can get Akumatized, so this Akuma still happens.

Also we’re all in agreement that ‘Super Penguino’ is an innuendo, right?

Chloé is real glad that Mari and Adrien were given their Miraculous permanently because she really does not want to be doing this on her own.

There’s still cute Adreinette memory loss moments.

Stormy Weather 2

Like other ‘Chloé is nicer’ fics, she didn’t cause this. It’s the same otherwise.

Reflektdoll

As Adrienette has already sailed, that’s not a factor. It’s all Juleka’s anxiety.

I want the Kwamiswap to still happen though, but let’s make it a full shuffle? Bee!Alya, Dragon!Chloé, Snake!Adrien(though something cooler than Aspik), Turtle!Marinette and Fox!Nino.

Oni-Chan

This is where they start to realize that Lila is a threat. Because the things of Adrien trying to be nice and her trying to lie her way into his room happen.

Nathalie isn’t fooled, as she and Gabriel are like ‘no bitch you kidnaped him and dangled him from the Eiffel tower. Sure you were Akumatized but we know you were in control for that because we would’ve stopped you if we could’ve.’

Lila still does the kiss selfie thing and that pisses Adrien off for so many reasons.

Kagami isn’t jealous, it’s a ‘you’re making my friend uncomfortable and also he has a gf you absolute thot!’.

The Team all sees Lila’s dangerous side as she messes with the fight.

Side note: While Carapace was the one to call her out originally, she hates all the Heroes equally because Rena and QB supported him and called her out again.

Miraculer

Since no one know Chloé’s identity, this would probably get entirely rewritten.

Not sure how it’ll go but probably Lila being a fuck

Puppeteer 2

The statue prank is less cringe but other than that it’s mostly the same.

Desperada

Since they already have the Snake on the Team, either this is where they get a different Hero, or they just skip it altogether.

If they did choose someone here, it wouldn’t be Luka as the main three don’t know him well enough.

Startrain

Pretty much the same, though Alya and Nino know to take Chloé seriously when she tells them there’s a Butterfly on board.

Also Alya doesn’t stand for Lila trying to interrupt the Adrienette nap.

Kwamibuster

Mostly the same. Though all five sneak out and get backup Miraculous to fight.

No identity shenanigans though.

Feast

Alya doesn’t post the video, and instead shows it to Master Fu herself.

Everything else goes pretty similar.

Ikari Gozen

Marinette and Kagami friendship!

They don’t think to give Kagami a Miraculous, and just help her out and then take down Ikari Gozen

Timetagger

Mostly the same, tbh.

Party Crasher

Mostly the same, though when Mari finds out what the boys are doing she texts the girls and they all yell at them.

They would’ve found out anyway when Alya and Mari showed up to the fight.

Gamer 2.0

Mostly the same.

Chat Blanc

Well you can’t have ‘Chat Blanc’ without ‘Chat Noir’ so scratch that.

Mari and Adrien have already been together for a while and Gabriel is not being a fuck by trying to break them up because tbh you can pry the ‘Hello, future daughter-in-law’ thing from my cold, dead hands.

Also if you want me to believe in Hawkmoth Akumatizing Adrien, you either need to show a lot more sanity slippage over time, or you need to have both Gabriel and Adrien be in a situation where they’re furious about something but can’t deal with it through normal means, so the Akuma is a way to try and help.

Idk what to do here

Felix

As much as I want to replace Canon!Felix with PV/Fanon!Felix, let’s keep Canon for now.

The setup is the same. Felix visits and decides to cause problems on purpose.

However, when he pretends to be Adrien, there’s two reasons why the main crew don’t believe it

First, is that they know Adrien really well, and he wouldn’t do that. Mari especially knows Adrien well and is pinpointing all the minor differences in how Felix acts.

The second, is that Felix isn’t wearing a fake Miraculous. He noticed Adrien’s new necklace, but as he didn’t have time to buy a fake he went without and figured it wasn’t that important.

But Mari, Nino, Alya and Chloé know that Adrien would never take it off because it’s a Miraculous.

So they manage to convince the friends that it must be a fake or something. But the trio ends up Akumatized anyway because ‘how dare someone try to trick us into hating Adrien!!’

Ladybug

Lila is still a fuck

She goes for ruining Mari, Nino and Chloé socially instead of getting any of them expelled(She’d do that after their reputation tanks). And she’s been working on this for a while.

She’d been subtle, making up things about them being jerks to her in private, and playing the victim whenever they call her out on her shit.

The class is hesitant to believe Mari and Nino could be that mean, but, well, Lila surely can’t be lying, right? And they have been hanging out with Chloé…

Of course they mostly believe Chloé would be mean, despite her recent strides in not being a dick.

Lila’s even been telling Alya and Adrien this stuff, pretending to be asking them to reign in their respective partner. Alya and Adrien don’t fall for it though, but don’t quite call her out on it.

Today was supposed to be a finishing blow, trying to convince the class that Marinette and Nino had been cheating on their respective partner with each other.

Alya and Adrien fight back because they know Lila’s a fuck

They ask Lila for specific dates, and Mari and Nino actually have an alibi for any time she says.

Either Mari was with Adrien, or Nino was with Alya, or there was a double date, or at least one of them was seen elsewhere.

They slam her with the whole thing and turn it around on her because bruh what the fuck

The classmates are on the fence. Because yeah, it doesn’t sound in-character for Marinette and Nino. But at the same time, would Lila really make up a lie about seeing them together?

It doesn’t ruin them completely, but it does damage their rep a little.

Hawkmoth tries to do the Scarlet Moth thing, but tbh between the fact that Mari is targeted(because he has an attachment to her in this AU) and Nathalie getting sick half-way through, he stops.

Not sure exactly what Mayura would make for a Sentimonster. There’s three main Heroes to choose from, plus the bonus Snake!Mari and Dragon!Adrien, so there isn’t one option to make a Sentimonster out of.

Either way it doesn’t work because of my favorite trope: “He calls me Riza when we’re alone!”.

Loveater/Miracle Queen

As Chloé’s identity isn’t a thing, this will have to be hella rewritten and tbh it’s 1:30 am so fuck it I don’t have the energy.

[joyofcrime-elinorhigh]

2016 Year in REVIEW Part 2:

  Hello there, everybody! My name is JoyofCrimeArt and this is part two of my two part "2016 Year in REVIEW. If you haven't seen part one yet I recommend that you do so before reading this part. So here's the link 2016 Year in REVIEW: Part 1 and let's just jump right back into it.

   So last we left off Nickelodeon created a new show that is both critically loved and is doing strong in the ratings. Things are looking good for them, there back in peoples good graces, so what does Nickelodeon do next? Admit that everything they've done for the last decade in a half has sucked and goes full 90's kid on us of course! Screw everything we've made since "Rocket Power" THE 90'S WHERE ALL THAT, SON! NICKELODEON WAS A MISTAKE!  Yes, right as summer was starting to roll around Nickelodeon decided to go back to the days when people liked them with a plethora of reboots and revivals. Cause why move forward, when you can move backwards, am I right? All jokes aside, the idea of reboots and revivals, as I've stated before, are not bad. But only if it's with a property that has potential with a continuation. or if the series can be done differently, with a unique spin to it. It's just that Nickelodeon announced so many so fast, that it feels like an act of desperation. Cartoon Network announced a lot of reboots too, but 1.) They didn't announce as many and 2.) They had shows on there network that had critical success while Nickelodeon has not. So it feels like there just trying to get that old success back. But whatever, it might feel a bit desperate but that doesn't mean the reboots and revivals will be bad. So let's go through all the stuff Nickelodeon has announced and see how it looks.  First Nickelodeon rebranded the "The 90's are all That." into "The Splat" which is a much catchier name, though not much other than that seemed to change. At first there were showing a lot of shows that weren't on "The 90's are all That." but now it just seems like it's the same stuff "The 90's are all That." use to show. Though now the block is much longer, so there's that. Not anything that really interest me, but I'm sure it interest some other people.  A "Legend of the Hidden Temple" movie was announced. I watched it, and I didn't really like it very much, though my older brother who did grow up with Legend of the Hidden Temple seemed to like it. I've never seen the original game show except for once or twice, so maybe it wasn't "for me." but a revival should be made for anybody to enjoy, not just old fans. The whole movie was pretty much just "Hey look, a purple parrot! Look, the steps of knowledge. Remember the steps of knowledge. I 'member." In terms of story and acting it was about on par with your average Nickelodeon original movie.  A two part "Hey Arnold! Jungle Movie." was announced, and while I've never seen Hey Arnold! I'm glad that they get to conclude the series, especially since the only reason it wasn't made was because of some weird legal reasons. Also a "Rocko's Modern Life" tv movie was announced and I'm just like, why? Is there more potential with this idea? Like I'm not saying the show is bad or anything, and I'm not saying that the tv movie will be bad. I'm just what can you really do with a modern day "Rocko's Modern Life?" I mean they could make fun of some modern things I guess, but I don't know. It just seems like there are better choices for shows to make specials out of.  What I am interested in is a "Ren and Stimpy" theatrical short, set to play before the third Spongebob Squarepants movie. I'm shocked they got John K. back after what happened between him and Nickelodeon. I think John K's style would work better in a short, so he'd have more time and budget to make it the way he wants to, and wouldn't have to worry about deadlines.  So yeah, it's kind a mixed bad with these revivals. Some of them sound cool. It just feels weird to me that Nickelodeon is just starting to be good again, but then they go through this midlife crisis and act like everything they did after 1999 was crap. Nickelodeon has made good shows after the nineties ended, and are even making some good shows now, so I don't see why they need to do this. I do wonder how successful these revivals will be though, as the "Hidden Temple" movie only did "okay" ratings wise. (Though they did post it on iTunes first, so maybe that was a factor.)  Anyway, speaking of reboots that people were actually excited about animation fans where greeted to a reboot that they were actually pumped for with Netlix's "Votron: Legendary Defender"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NXW1waqRCb0

This show is a bit hard for me to talk about. I can definitely say that I recommended it, but I'm not one hundred percent sure I can say I loved it. What do I mean by that? Well I can say that the show has a lot of amazing elements.One, it's an action show through and through, which is kinda rare these days. It has a really great voice cast, featuring Jeremy Shada (Finn from Adventure Time) Kimberly Brooks (Jasper from Steven Universe) Josh Keaton (Spider-Man from Spectacular Spider-Man and Hal Jordan from Green Lantern TAS) Along with several other talented actors. The animation was also really good! It was a bit choppy at parts but for the most part it looked really good. The show was created by two people who worked on "Legend of Korra" and it shows in the art style and even the storytelling. (Cause let's all be real here, Hunk is pretty much just Bolin in space.) The story was told pretty well and overall it's a great show but...for some reason I could never really get that into it. And I don't know why! I mean sure I have some problems with the show. The villains where kinda bland, (except for Cree Summer's character, oh by the way she's in this.) A lot of the action was kinda repetitive, and there's a subplot with Pidge that, while interesting, didn't really serve much purpose. Also I wish we could of seen more locations other than just the castle and a couple other planets (but season two seems to promise that if the finale was any indication.) But still these are mostly nitpicks. So why don't I love this show like I thought I was going to?  I don't really have a answer for that. It's weird, cause I should love this show! But it never really connected much with me, and I don't know why. Maybe it was the generic villains making the threat not seem that dire, or maybe it was the somewhat repetitive nature of the show. I don't know, and it makes this show hard to talk about. Maybe It had something to do with the way I watched it, as I watched all eleven episodes over the course of three months. Maybe that's part of it, but I feel that if I enjoyed it more In would of wanted to watch the series much faster. Like how I binged Bojack Horseman over a couple of days. The Nostalgia Critic has a video about movies that are so good it's bad, [link] and that might be a bit of what's happening here, maybe? I don't know. I am going to check out season two. And I do suggest you watch it, as everyone else I hear talk about the show seems to love it, and it's probably just some problem that I have with it, that most likely won't effect what you guys. Check it out if it seems interesting to ya.  Anyway as May began to come to a close online production company Rooster Teeth produced the web show that we didn't ask for, but turns out we secretly needed, with RWBY CHIBI!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tu6D5jR1rSQ

 I'm going to just quickly talk about this because I do want to do a full review of both RWBY and RWBY Chibi at some point, so let's breeze through this. RWBY Chibi is a comedic spin-off of the RWBY webseries. It focuses on the more comedic aspects of the RWBY characters when there not off fighting monsters and bad guys. If this description sounds familiar to you it's because IT'S TEEN TITANS GO BUT GOOD!  The show is adorable, and really really charming. The show isn't perfect though. I first six or so episodes start off pretty meh, with some very repetitive jokes (specifically about Blake.) but as the season goes on they start adding more and more characters into the show, and they show begins to improve a lot. The more characters they add the more opportunity for jokes they create. And once they start adding the Chibi-fied versions on the villains, the show becomes God-tier. The animation on the show is also kinda bad. The models themselves look great but whenever a character isn't talking or doing something they just stand perfectly still, not blinking or moving any part of themselves for twenty to thirty seconds at a time. But this also improves a bit as the series goes on, and it's not like the main series where the animation is the big draw. Also sometimes the jokes can go on a bit long.  This series is great if your a RWBY fan, but sadly I do say that you do kinda have to be a RWBY fan because the series does spoil some stuff. Episode six and eight are really the only ones that spoils anything huge, but a lot of the jokes are in jokes and is better to see if you've the original show. You'll still get em without seeing the original, but there better if you've had. So go watch RWBY and RWBY Chibi damn it! They even had an entire episode that was just adapting RWBY fan comics! This show is so cool!  So after that amazingness happened more amazingness, Steven Universe came back with a Summer of Steven bringing us everything we wanted out of Steven Universe. More backstory on Gem Civilization! More Pearl being gay! More new Fusions! More Pearl being gay! More episodes focusing on the humans that everyone hated because it didn't give more backstory on the gems even though the episodes were still really fun and people should really just chill! More Lapis being salty as fu*k! And more Pearl being gay! We even got an new half hour episode where we meet an old Crystal Gem name Bismuth. An episode that got so divisive when debates broke out weather or not murdering all the homeworld gem is okay. And a smaller discussion on weather or not Avatar TLA finale was good or not. Okay, not really the last thing, but still. It got to the point when fans started attacking Lauren Zuke on twitter, even though SHE HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH THE EPISODE! But that's what they get for trying to gemsplain towards Bismuth about morality. (For the record gemsplaing is like Mansplaing but with Gems.) Dumb jokes that'll make people hate me aside, it was the Summer of Steven was a blast, and a highlight for the whole year in the animation world.  But Roster Teeth animation wasn't done with just RWBY Chibi, as they made another new web series with there adult animated series, Camp Camp.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hv5JfMDLgCU

 Like Powerpuff Girls, this is a show I've already talked about before, PLUG! Camp Camp REVIEW: So I'll try to be brief. Camp Camp is a great web seires that manages to do a great job mimicking the art style of a PBS show, which hilariously contrasts the raunchy adult humor that the series offers. It does adult humor really well, and never fells like it's being raunchy just for the sake of being raunchy. As I said in my original review the show feels one half Total Drama Island and one half South Park, and the combination works. The show has a stellar voice cast that includes Yuri Lowenthal, Travis Willingham, and even Dante Basco in one episode. It's really a rather impressive production for a web series, and the shows only main flaw stems from a rather unlikable lead character, which does hinder the show quite a bit. Still though, it was a fun show all things considered and the speech in the final episode was a fantastic moment for the series that gave a powerful lesson about nihilism vs idealism. I don't want to give to much away but it's interesting to compare it to a lot of the adults shows out there like "Rick and Morty" and "Bojack Horseman" as it offers a bit of a different perspective on the issue. (Not that the way Rick and Morty and Bojack talk about these themes are bad per say, it's just neat to see a slightly different perspective.) Camp Camp is a show I highly recommend.  So Sanjay and Craig also ended this year. I never really watched the show, wasn't really my thing. Not much to say about it other than, it was event that happened this year.  Meanwhile back on Netflix Bojack Horseman aired it's third seasons. (WARNING! SPOILERS FOR BOJACK! SKIP THIS PART IF YOU WANT TO REMAIN UNSPOILED!) So this season follows Bojack trying to get the fame and aspiration he always dreamed of by being seen as a serious actor. He gets a girlfriend who helps him, they end up breaking up by the end of the season. The season starts with Bojack holding on to the development that he had from the previous season, but after realizing that the thing he though he wanted wasn't what he really wanted he ends up relapsing and goes on a binger, possibly scars his ex-crushes daughter, and ends with him learning that he has to be a better person, and is inspired by a runner.  Oh wait, that was the season two plot description. Here's the season three plot description. So this season follows Bojack trying to get the fame and aspiration he always dreamed of by being seen as a serious actor. He gets a girlfriend who helps him, they end up breaking up by the end of the season. The season starts with Bojack holding on to the development that he had from the previous season, but after realizing that the thing he though he wanted wasn't what he really wanted he ends up relapsing and goes on a binger, possibly scars his ex-crushes daughter, and ends with him learning that he has to be a better person, and is inspired by a runner. Again. (Oh my God! This is a joke! Please don't kill me internet! I still like the show!) SPOILERS ARE NOW OVER!  Then, as yearly tradition, Cartoon Network played a new mini-series. Though I don't think people were as excited for this one as they were for some previous ones...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1EMC9jnFAG4

(Love this show or hate it, you got to admit that the this theme song is pretty great! When was the last time we even had a minute long theme song?)  So Teen Titans Go! had a miniseries this year with a five part "Island Adventure." Though like "Long Live the Royal" it's not really a continuous story and more just a couple of episodes with a vague through line. The premise of the mini-series isn't a bad one. I like the "trapped on an island one." plot and there's lots of different stories you can tell with that plot, so Teen Titans Go! decided to simply do the plot five times, with each episode parodying a different island themed story. It was cool seeing a change of location for the Titans, as most episodes don't really have them leaving the Titan's Tower, so that was nice. But sadly the good idea was ruined by the fact that it's still Teen Titans Go! and it still had the Teen Titan Go! style of humor which, in my humble opinion, isn't really that good. It's definitely not the worse thing Teen Titan's Go! has done, but if you don't like TTG I don't think this miniseries will really sway you. Overall it was pretty meh. Though if you like TTG than you'll probably enjoy it fine.  Also, (spoilers, I guess?) the twist turns out that the whole time...It was really a hater bashing episode the whole time. Ha ha, what a twist- (Next thing please.)  Harvey Beaks was announced to end. I never really watched Harvey Beaks, though the couple of episodes I have seen kinda make me wish I did because the show seemed like it was pretty good. Nothing amazing, but the show looked good. So I'm kinda sad to see it go, because a lot of adult fans seemed to like it. It would of been a good show to pair with The Loud House I think, but sadly the numbers just didn't lead that way.  Also in BIG animation news for Cartoon Network it was announced that Adventure Time and Regular Show would be ending. Adventure Time still has two seasons to air before it ends and Regular Show is going to be ending in January. It's kinda a bittersweet feeling seeing these shows go. It's not really surprising to see these shows go, considering how Cartoon Network barely reruns them, but still. Adventure Time has been a bit rocky lately though I do think it still has some great episodes. Though these great episodes are becoming rarer as time goes on, so I guess it is good, from an artistic standpoint to see it go. As for Regular Show I think the show was pretty solid throughout. The newest season's been a bit of a dip (I'll get to that in a minute.) so I think, from an artistic standpoint, It's the perfect time to stop. That way the show will be looked back on fondly in the future.  And speaking of Regular Show the show went into SPPPAAAACCCCCEEEEE this year. Now for a little while my family was a cord cutting family, we have satellite now, but the last time I saw Regular Show before we cut the cord we where in an arc about Rigby going back to high school, and when we get satellite again there suddenly in space, and I'm just like "Yup! Okay, this is happening now!"  While I do admire them changing up the formula by sending them to space, I honestly don't love the change. Something that I really liked about Regular Show was the contrast. The episodes would start mundane but end up being fantastical. But now that there in space all the time it gets rid of the contrast cause it's weirdness on top of weirdness. But maybe it could work in a Steven Universe kinda way, where it's like an awesome space opera or something. Well it doesn't work that way either, because they still treat outer space like it's mundane, but it's not, it's space! They try to do both, and I get why they tried that, but It doesn't really work. Also they've been to space before! And where is party horse, everyone's least favorite character? He's in space, why isn't he here?  That being said, the show isn't awful or anything. There still are some good episodes, like "Terror Tales of the Park VI," "No Train No Gain," and especially "Christmas in Space." So let's hope Regular Show can go out with a bang. A BIG BANG! GET IT CAUSE SPACE! HAHA! (Kill me now!)  Anyway, at least Cartoon Network has made some shows to fill in those time slots because CN's made not one, but two cartoons this year. Powerpuff Girls 2016 and our next entry, Mighty Magiswords.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=B0pArLEicSM

 Mighty Magiswords was based on a series on online digital shorts on the Cartoon Network app. I haven't seen these shorts, and thus will only be talking about the eleven minute series here. The show...honestly I'm not crazy about. It's not awful on anything, but I think it's just a personal preference. The main problem I have with the show is the pacing! Every character talks so frickin' fast, and the show throws so many jokes at you in such rapid succession that there's no time to process it. Also beyond that the show just doesn't seem that interesting. I don't know, I just feel like everything this show is doing was done better in like "Dave the Barbarian." (I think. Was Dave the Barbarian good? I liked it when I was, like, seven or eight. But I was also pretty dumb when I was seven or eight, and I've never really gone back to it.)  I mean the shows not awful or anything. I like the voice acting on the main two characters. Also Egoraptors in the show, and it's cool to see a guy like him make the jump from internet to television as an actual recurring character. That's pretty neat. But overall I wasn't really able to get that into this show. It just seemed very...average, y'know? But maybe if they slow the pace down a bit it could improve. I don't know, we'll have to wait and see.  Also Archer was announced to end after season ten, due to the creators choice. Wha-What the heck is going on! Why is 2016 the year that all celebrities and cartoons die?! Well, at least this means the show will actually have a conclusion, so that's nice.  Meanwhile, Disney XD aired there new show, "Milo's Murphy's Law" or as I call it "Phineas and Ferb: Weird Al Addition!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARTRJQfV90k

 This show is pretty good, all things considered. It's basically what would happen if someone with Candace Flynn's luck and gave them Phineas Flynn's personality. The show is fairly entertaining and features Weird Al Yankovic in his first staring role in a cartoon, though the voice is a little jarring what with it being a 57 year old man voicing a thirteen year old. Did you know Weird Al was 57? Did he like, find the fountain of youth or something?  the show's main problem though is the fact that the humor is very reminiscent of Phineas and Ferb, so it kinda has trouble getting it's own kinda feel. If you liked the early seasons of Phineas and Ferb you'll like this show, and if you don't like early Phineas and Ferb than you won't. Also Milo, like Phineas, is a very static character who pretty much only has "happy." as his only emotion. But the show is still funny, having the same quick wit that Phineas and Ferb had, while also not be quite as formulaic. Note I said quite, as the show is still pretty formulaic, but not as much as Phineas and Ferb.  In other news there was a controversy going on where C.H Greenblatt called out Nickelodeon for how they treated there show, and was forced to issue a retraction against his own wished. I get why some people are so upset, but are people really surprised? Like C.H Greenblatt publicly insulted his bosses. What did he, or anyone else, think was going to happen. I'm sure if someone at Cartoon Network or Disney tried to call out the networks they would be told to make a retraction too. That's kinda what happens when your a notable figure and you publicly denounce your boss. And people are saying that this is proof that Nickelodeon is a terrible company to work at, to which I say "Um, yeah. Duh." The Loud House is the first Nickelodeon original series to be treated decently on the network in years, of course it's an awful place to work. The creator's behind "Legend of Korra" never made a formal address calling out Nickelodeon, but we don't need them to do that to know that they most likely weren't to thrilled with what the channel did to there show. I just don't get what the big deal is. I thought we all already knew this.  And in other news Young Justice was announced to get a third season and...wait, third season? Ha ha! Very funny guys and...wait, it's real? This is for real,this isn't a joke? OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD! THIS CALLS FOR A DANK LOUD HOUSE MEME!

(A Greg Weisman show got a third season and the very next day Donald Trump was announced our President. Ladies and Gentlemen Hell has officially frozen over!)  I'm excited. Very excited. We don't know where the show will air, but the most likely theory is Netflix. I am very happy about this.  So over Thanksgiving weekend Cartoon Network had a had a three day long Teen Titans Go! marathon. Seemed innocent enough, but then people started screaming how this was the DEATH OF CARTOON NETWORK! Apparently this marathon was proof that Cartoon Network only cares about Teen Titans Go! and the network is only going to continue to over saturate itself! People where furious about this marathon, and I really don't get it at all. I mean, I don't like Teen Titans Go!, but it's just a marathon for Thanksgiving. That's not really that strange. Remember when Cartoon Network use to marathon The Iron Giant twenty four hours on Thanksgiving? It's the same principle. Yes, Iron Giant is a lot better than Teen Titans Go! but it's not the end of the world. And while everybody was complaining about this marathon Disney XD did the exact same thing with Gravity Falls. They had another three day marathon in which they showed the series four times! Or FXX which did ANOTHER "Every Simpsons Ever" marathon for thirteen frickin days! How come those channels aren't being called out for over saturation? The only difference I see is that one is a show people online like, while the other is a show that people online hate. It was just a Thanksgiving marathon, not the end of the whole frickin world. If you don't like Cartoon Network's over saturation with Teen Titans Go! complain about the five hours of it that they show on days that aren't special occasions.  In other news Disney XD bought the rights to the entire Pokemon anime library, and is expected to start showing it sometime next year. It's really weird for me, cause growing up Cartoon Network always had Pokemon. I know Kids WB premiered it, but Cartoon Network always had the rerun rights. It'll be weird seeing it on Disney XD, though this is probably for the best honestly. Cartoon Network did not treat Pokemon right the last few years. It aired early on Saturday mornings and still got really high ratings, sometimes beating Uncle Grandpa and Powerpuff Girls 2016. Imagine how much better it would of done if it was advertised and given a good time slot. But Cartoon Network never did this. I think Disney XD will realize the potential Pokemon has, given there treatment of Yo-Kai Watch. I can see them giving it a good time slot, and rerunning it, and it doing good there. Also between Yo-Kai, Pokemon, and the upcoming Beyblade show that they acquired Disney XD's really getting quite a collection of Saturday Morning Anime. All they need to do is get Yu-Gi-Oh rights from Nickelodeon and they'll be set!  Then Cartoon Network unveiled there newest superhero cartoon, Justice League Action! Finally a DC show that isn't Teen Titans Go! and-Awwww Crap!

  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L6anrDYEacg

(Well on the plus side, at least they advertised it.)  I was hyped for this show before it came out. Now I want to preface part by saying I've only seen the first four episodes of this show. That's what happens when you review a show that premiered in December. But judging it by what I've seen, I really like this show. It's a fun superhero comedy action show featuring a ton of characters both iconic and obscure. The episodes may be eleven minutes long, but this is an action show, but a lighthearted one. Think Batman Brave and the Bold meets the Justice League show form the early 2000's. The action is good, even though there are parts where you can tell they most likely had a smaller budget than say Young Justice. My only problems with the show is the pacing, (which isn't as bad as I thought it would be but still seems a bit rushed) and there are several plot holes just in the one hour special alone. But other than that the show is pretty solid. It's great to see an action superhero show on Cartoon Network again. So....how long you think It'll be before it get's replaced with Teen Titans Go! reruns?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xTkFgj4dA1w

 Now when I first planned this review out, I was intending to end with Justice League Action but then, literally just a few days ago, I decided to check out one more show for this review. That show would be the Netflix original series Trollhunters created by Guillermo del Toro.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=J2oNgZlbSKI  I want to preface this review by saying that as of the time of me writing this, I have only seen four episode of this show. So everything I say here should be taken with a grain of salt. If I wasn't on a deadline I wouldn't even be talking about this show yet, but since I am on a deadline let's talk about it. The show has a lot of good elements to it. It has great animation for a tv budget. (Well, not a tv budget, but still.) This show also has a great voice cast including the late Anton Yelchin, Kelsey Grammer, Ron Perlman, and Tom "I make all the fan girls wet" Hiddleston. The show has a nice sense of adventure and there is also a lot of creativity with the world building. Also Jim, our main protagonist, is a very likeable character. There's only one big problem, and this may go away as the show goes on, but the show uses a lot of cliches. It's another "kid is the chosen one, and he has to balance his secret life with high school, and he starts letting people down because of this. He has a fat comic relief best friend and all he want's to do is impress the pretty girl AND THE PROMS TOMORROW!" But again, they don't do these cliche's badly per say, they just don't add that much new to them. So far. Again, I've only seen four episodes so far, so please be spoiler free in the comments. I've heard good things about this show, so I'm assuming this improves as the series goes on. Or maybe it doesn't. I don't know. Check it out if your at all interested and find out for yourself.  So that was 2016 year on animation reviewed. It was quite a year! There was some bad, I'd maybe say even more bad than the average year, but there was a lot of good too. It was a wild ride and I'm looking forward to what 2017 brings to the table. So to cap this year off, allow me to present the top 9 best shows of 2016 (out of the ones I reviewed here!) We're just going to breeze through em, and keep in mind this list is a little bias, as shows from the earlier part of the year have a higher chance of winning me over than shows at the end of the year, due to me having seen more episodes of them. Ready? Here we go! 9. Mighty Magiswords 8. Powerpuff Girls 2016 7. Voltron: Legendary Defenders 6. Troll Hunters 5. The Loud House 4. Milo Murphy's Law 3. Justice Leauge Action 2. Camp Camp 1. RWBY Chibi   Though this is all subject to change. Also keep in mind that I'm not very good at ranking things. A lot of these things could be swapped around, as my opinion on things as specific as placement change very often, sometimes even day to day. So take this list with a grain of salt. Also keep in mid I haven't seen every show made in 2016, and missed out on a bunch of them. Like all of these ones!  (Bordertown, Brad Neely's Harg Nallin' Sclopio Peepio (Da hecks with that title?), Camp WWE, Dream Corp LLC. (Not fully animated but still), Elena of Avalor, Future Worm, Get Blake!, Home: Adventures with Tip & Oh, Kong: King of the Apes, Kuu Kuu Harajuku (Saw half an episode once, though I was on drugs), Legend of Chamberlain Heights, Lego Star Wars: The Freemaker Adventures, My Knight and Me, Pacific Heat, Peanuts, Right Now Kapow, Son of Zorn (Also not fully animated, but still)  But hopefully I got most of the big ones. So that's my review. If I had to grade this year for animation, I'd give B-. Good, but could improve. I hope this list was able to act as a brief distraction from all of the tragedy that happened this year. I know these reviews don't do much but if these reviews are able to bring somebody a brief moment of joy, and make someone forget about there problems for a little bit and just make them laugh or see things from a different point of view, than it's all worth it. At least that's my point of view. What did you think of 2016 as a whole for animation? Leave your thoughts in the comments down bellow. I'd love to start a discussion, even if you disagree with some of the stuff I said. I think it's important to start conversations like this, otherwise you end up in an echo chamber. If you have thoughts on any of these shows or events tell me what you think. Please fav, follow and comment if you liked the review, (Cause if you can't tell I put a lot of work into it, so I'd be very appreciative!) And have a great year! (I do not own any of the images or videos in this review all credit goes to there original owners.) All credit for the "Lisa Ships Meme Blank" goes to https://www.deviantart.com/mixelfangirl100 It was a lot of fun to fill out, so here's the link to the original Lisa Ships Meme Blank