#also. kind of sad when people have tim go to dick in Blüdhaven instead of the og NYC for his intro. NO he needs to freak out the Titans!!!

[heroesriseandfall]

Blüdhaven becoming Nightwing’s base has kind of overshadowed the fact that Dick’s first several years as Nightwing were in New York City with the New Titans.

In the 80s and early 90s, even Gothamites associated Nightwing with NYC enough to question why the New Yorker hero was in Gotham when he came to save Bruce one night.

Importantly, Dick lived in Manhattan during the entire time Jason was Robin, at least in preboot timeline. Jason associated Dick with NYC.

Enough that when Jason came back and Blüdhaven was blown up and Dick was nowhere to be found (traveling), Jason went looking for Dick in New York, expecting him to be there. And Dick did move to New York again, without even knowing Jason had anticipated that.

Blüdhaven certainly has its own special place for Nightwing, but so does New York. It’s one of the places Nightwing was born.

[batarangsoundsdumb]

hae interrogationes multae respondeant quia demens .

if you read this entire ask post you deserve a gold star and financial recompensation

Um, Obviously because when you’re adopted by a white guy you automatically become white duhhh

this is about this post lmao and yeah youre absolutely right, you have to hand your poc card in when you get adopted by a white guy.

Do you think Cass would listen to Yanni, the YouTube channel epic symphonic rock, or some other stuff? There's some cool mashups but idk if that's up your alley, I kinda feel like I'm pushing it with my weird taste of music by recommending an orchestra cover of metal, but i just love that sort of thing and mashups :P @harvestyourcherries 

i haven’t heard of that? but in my personal (correct) opinion steph listens to classical music, and then both modern and older, and then also stuff like black sabbath, iron maiden, but also hardrock and hardcore. i like the idea of cass just liking the most extreme screaming songs full of noise and then also listen to pachelbel’s 370th sonata yanno? THANK YOU for the rec tho

speaking of ur cass playlist hc...reminds of the time (yesterday) i found 2 playlists randomly on spotify from the same user. one was abt 3 hours of instrumental/classical "dark" & "nostalgic" music. the other almost 11 hours of nothing but hardcore bass/synth/electronic music. just an incredible tightrope act to put on in public. the synth one was also called like "psalms for synth sluts" which is Also incredible

tbh i LOVE synth SO MUCH like for no reason at all but then also cannot handle a poppy electronic beat lmao. but this seems like the kinda thing i’d do but just in one (1) playlist bc i just sort songs by vibe instead of genre? that’s how i end up with britney spears and billy ray cyrus in the same playlist. 

Oh, I want Kate Kane playlist next! It would be amazing if you could do one when you have time and will 🙏

how rude would it be of me to just say no? like sorry kate but idk you and also you seem way too keen on the us military for an institution that homophobically targeted you? (and also commits war crimes) but let’s unpack the fact that the institution that caused the death of your mom and sister and also got you blacklisted for being gay is still one you align with???

'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' 'yes i am' 'no you're not' --- when i tell you i fucking screamed LOL!!!!!!! i can imagine the cameraman not knowing if he should cut to commercial or keep it on these two weirdos fighting on stage (bruce definitely ruffled dick's hair/noogied him right?? 

about this post but yeah lmao. this cameraman just turns to like the audience to get a reaction and it’s just multiple moments of CLEAR shock.

you are the only funny person on this hellsite

how egotistical is it for me to say that i get this ask multiple times a month? bc it literally happens so often it’s hilarious to me.

Wish there was more john/Bruce content 😔😔😔 was so hungry I actually looked at canon media 😔😔😔 (Justice League Dark babeeeyyyyyy)

check out batman: damned for some mediocre content but at least it’s john/bruce (also very interesting story and stuff, just got very >:( over this weird part where harley quinn tried to r*pe bruce or something? it’s not for everyone)

dick grayson but he's nicki minaj

his anaconda don’t want none,,, unless...... 

Dick Grayson was never a cop, he played Marshall on Paw Patrol

you are SO right. also paw patrol is a fucking good show idc. that shit could’ve been the new steven universe on this hellsite.

https://www.instagram.com/p/CS1lI0bLI7-/?utm_medium=copy_link

...

why do people keep reposting my CONTENT. if you are not funny yourself don’t just grab shit off of tumblr and post it on insta,,, get a life. sidenote: should i start an insta and get all these ppl to take my content down that would be funny as hell.

Might I suggest for a Gotham City Meme: something about the true crime fandom thirsting for the rogues gallery

ok can i just say something slightly controversial?? no? i don’t find true crime ppl who are into criminals funny, that shits disturbing irl im not gonna bring that into my very chill universe.

i may have never seen a 'jason cleaning guns in sink' fic but i do know he WOULD

THANK YOU

bestie im sorry to say this to you but while you can, and people do wash their guns in the sink, that is a lot of lead in a very vital part of the kitchen.

people tend to do it in the bathtub.

WHY???? like damn why do you even have guns

i dont think i read many gun sink fics exactly but i have read lots of fics where jason cleanes his guns in the living room. usualy dissembles them and cleans them with a rag i think

lmao fair enough, like i think that’s a large part of what i remember as well.

if you say you've seen/read gun sink fics I believe you. I think those of us who didn't see them are lucky or maybe didn't search for fics by tags or something idk

i mean ive never sought them out but i HAVE seen them,, like definitely i know almost for certain.

saw your tags and I'm interested in Steph/Kara now. They would be the most chaotic couple <3

literally thoooo, i have a wip where they get together in a zombie apocalypse and like UGGGHhhh i am so in love with them.

I am the Breece anon. Thanks for the recommendation; am reading now. I’ve always been a hardcore Superman fan because I love my pure himbo farm boy. My logic is, if one Bruce is a Broose, then multiple Broose are a herd of Breece. And this is a hill upon which I will perish.

fair enough,,,, like moose, meese, goose, geese, bruce, breece. i get your logic and i stand by it as well. (glad you enjoyed the comic recs!!!!)

It's a beautiful day in Gotham, and you are a group of horrible Breece

OH my god dude lmao

there only being 42 fics on ao3 for tim and bernard is honestly so sad i need more

it’s like twice that now!!! we did it lads. (tho very sad that my fic isnt number one but like number 4 :((((  )

i'm too late you already did the poll lol but may i suggest bethy (bernard + timothy)

shit dude that wouldve been so fucking funnyyyyy. think ppl have just stuck to timber tho, tim/bernard kinda died down recently and i think it’s too bad, they’re a great couple and i love them.

Wait, hear me out

Bernothy @redlightofdawn

great recommendation (lmao this ask is from like a month ago) but very sorry to announce that NARDTH is the superior shipname

Wait, we know that bernard likes milfs (Tim's step-mom) but what about dilfs? gilfs?

Wait no, I regret sending that ask

these were two seperate asks and they’re HILARIOUS. in my personal opinion tho,,, milfs, gilfs, dilfs are just about vibes and bernard is just attracted to sexy ppl who may sometimes be milfs, dilfs, or EVEN gilfs.

crime in bludhaven would drop to half if nightwing had a boob window. in this essay i will-

WHERE’S THE ESSAY ANON, WHERE’S THE FUCKING ESSAY

Wait if Barbra and Tim r at opposite ends at all times what happened to Barbra once everyone’s Tim’s ever love before started dying lol

she won a lottery ticket and spent 2 weeks on a resort in the bahamas before returning home and finding out that the joker was arrested for tax evasion and then spent a month staying at her big tiddie goth girlfriend’s house before conner came back to life and she broke her pinkie playing table hockey.

Why is the opposite end thing so funny and compelling to me. Tim comes back from his depression quest for Bruce and Babs is now a literal god

lmao when tim loses his spleen barbara reaches nirvana.

Are you still taking music recs because I have three songs that remind me of Jason that I think you'd like

send to me or lose a toe

🌸 ⭐ put this star into the inbox of your favorite blogs. it’s time to spread positivity! ⭐🌸😋

thanks, i wont tho on account of i wont.

https://vm.tiktok.com/ZMduBy3Sr/

⬆️

This is the whole of Blüdhaven and everyone anywhere.

Nightwings ass alone saves more people in a calendar year and does more for so society than most heroes do their whole career.Also u are one of the funniest tumblr pages out there. The vibes are unmatched and the memes and tags ✨send me✨.Thank u and goodnight @julia-flow 

fanksss also lmao.

That's going to be a little bit difficult to explain, but

There's some music that you listen to and you think, "oh my gosh, I can perfectly imagine Dick Grayson singing this song, with the same voice as the singer because that voice matches with Dick Grayson"?

oh yeah totally lmao. i have a lot of songs that i think are just entirely dick grayson yanno? kind of all of my playlists have that vibe, but i really find bleachers to fit with dick? idk.

"Lois lane/Superman" fics this, "Lois lane/Clark Kent" fics that, (/lh) let's get into the real good stuff. Some people ship Lois, Clark, and Superman as a throuple. Most popular fic tag for sure

yes totally, i think they’d be absolutely killer on ao3 and clark gets so fucking embarassed about it.

I miss your post, hope you’re doing okay!!

haha this was like 2 months ago, but i was doing fine then too! just didn’t have a lot of inspiration in terms of content.

Doot doot!

noot noot

I’m confused. What did DC do now? Like with nightwing? And another sibling? Please spoil everything for me

lmao they gave him a secret sister plotline where they had his dad cheat on his mom with tony zucco’s wife, bc dick’s life wasn’t traumatic enough yet.

sorry but it's so funny that batman is called "the dark knight" when the gotham city baseball team is called the gotham knights. it'd be like if a vigilante was running around new york called like "the scary yankee"

lmaooo no. but like yankee comes from dutch names or something so wouldnt it be HILARIOUS if gotham knights came from like german names and bruce would be running around called the dark KLAUS UND NIEK @graysonnightwing 

(not a batcest shipper) it’s so funny to me that the responses are “i’m a batcest shipper because i can differentiate fiction from reality and and it doesn’t bother me personally, but i understand why you oils think it’s weird” to “i wish all batcest shippers a very fucking die”

yeah lmaoo. i personally basically flipped my entire stance around to ‘i dont care please leave me and everybody else alone’ bc i think there’s really no point in starting a moral dillema over some fucking fandom bullshit. Please just,,, go home,,, log off, find a nice forest to have a little walk in and remember that somewhere in history, somebody probably died in the place you’re standing. and you will also die someday, and somebody will have to look at your internet usage and see you fighting multiple people anonymously while being named ‘nightwingsbuttchin200186′ like... calm down, we’re all gonna die this is not the thing to worry about.

so since like "wards" don't really exist in modern society almost all the batkids are foster kids, right? i used to work in the system and imagine: monthly visits from social workers and guardian ad litems, bruce having to get permission to take the boys anywhere out of state, calling their social worker at like 8 a.m. like "yeah dick broke his arm again... a gymnastics accident this time...." their poor social worker. bruce send her a huge bouquet and box of chocolates every month to stay on her good side

i imagine the social worker just getting into the case like ‘yeah let’s get this kid a good guardian’ and then ending up having to work with 22 y/o bruce wayne and his 50 y/o dad. and so this social worker is like ‘okay we can work with this, this is the best home i can find’ and then like it ends up landing on its feet and then the kid gets adopted and then they get a call a year later like ‘uhm so hi, this kid tried to steal my tyres can i adopt him?’ and like 3 years later. ‘okay so basically, my neighbours’ kid imprinted on me and now they’re dead, can i keep him?’ two years later it’s like ‘okay so this assassin child-’

ever since I saw that one post of yours, the meme that's something like "I know that abba's backup dancer got me" with a picture of discowing, I've been haunted. Every once in a while I'll be minding my own business then the image of abba's backup dancer dick grayson aka nightwing aka discowing will flash in my mind and I'll be frozen in place. Today at work I was in the middle of folding clothes and suddenly once again discowing entered my mind and I suddenly lost the ability to see anything except He. Thank you.

wow. the IMPACT.

Braver than any US marine man props to you🤝

this shit is about the time i wrote an article on batcest, like man,,, the fact that i didn’t get cancelled is MIRACULOUS. also like,,, uh if anybody on here did gossip on me,, send screenshots i’d love to see it.

Hello, just wanted to say your article was great. Thank you for taking the time to provide an unbaised answer. It should provide people with nuances they couldn't possibly conjure on their own.

May I ask where your username originates from?

yes you may (also thanks!!!) i thought it up when i was trying to find an original username bc i didnt want to be called like ‘timdrakes something something’ or ‘jason todd something smoething’ or ‘dick grayson something something’ yanno? so i thought batarangs, they sound so dumb and that’s my username story... now it’s my whole entire brand lmao.

yno that bit in kick ass where red mist asks kick ass if he wants a hit of his blunt, was that the inspo for stoner tim

no? it’s bc i think stoners are hilarious and drugs are great. (dont do drugs tho) 

How would u feel if someone actually wore one of those bruce or ollie pride shirts u edited

fenomenal next question.

Dick as lil huddy and Jason as James gave me radiation poisoning and now I’m screaming crying throwing up so thx for that

(Rico suave as Tim is perfect tho literally no changes needed)

i was so funny for that shit wasn’t i??? lmao i loved those weird ass fancasts

You're doing the Lord's work by providing us with all these Gotham/Metropolis citizens memes, thank you for being so relentlessly funny @nellethiel-aranel

you’re welcome!! i really enjoy making memes, but getting validation for my content and my memes is REALLY nice.

Bruce is such a slut in your memes and honestly i love that for him @rhodey-rhudert-rhodes-main 

he’s that much of a slut irl too dw.

Bruce and Alfred have an emergency pride flag for the batkids. Oliver Queen printed an emergency "I love my gay son" t-shirt and as soon as Roy told him he was dating Jason, Oliver started wearing that shirt everyday and Roy always cringes when he sees it. Oliver also has an emergency "I love my lesbian daughter" shirt just in case for Cissie.

lmao YES i had a post like this bc like all of their kids/family members are so gayy

stop bringing back batfam fancasts it is not real it is not real it is not- 😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀

oh yes it is my darling.

did discowing burn down the notredam because he hates the bees? @allulily

no he did it bc fuck the french.

im gonna beg for 1 thing and 1 thing only. please please please put physical by olivia newton john on dick's playlist

okay then beg. bc i wont. physical reminds me too much of glee and that hurts me mentally.

your playlist is sorely missing some Madonna. Specifically Into the Groove, Like a Prayer, and Vogue

i’m scared of madonna that’s why she’s not on there. she haunts me in my dreams.

suggestion: son of batman by aaron dews for dick’s playlist🤩

sorry, i listened to it and the vibe didn’t agree with me.

Hear me out, metropolis citizens sending rare pair fics of Clark Kent x Superman fics to Lois to edit

yes, absolutely hilarious. even more funny if they send like physical copies, no address attached and lois sends it back marked with red ink, SOMEHOW

Imagine all the smut Clark must of read editing the fics

clark reads smut confirmeeed

NOT LOIS READING SUPERBAT PORN AND EDITING IT A 2AM 

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

hc that alfred is a meta that boosts healing factor of the people around him. if the bats are injured as much as they seem to be they would be doing bat stuff MAYBE half the year. no one including alfred knows about this. whenever the kids move out they inexplicably dont recover from injuries as fast and feel better whenever they visit the manor they just chalk it up to homesickness. bruce just thinks he heals really fast. alfred thinks everyone doesnt take care of themselves properly @finchcollector

that’s actually such a great idea, but i think that alfred would find out and learn how to concentrate it better so he can help more people, bc he’s great and i love him.

One of your dickfast posts reminded me of that tweet that goes: 'so you've had sex how many times? Yeah technically that's not a bromance' lol that's dickwally or dickroy

literally tho. like that’s all of dick’s friendships. once it gets past a certain time dick is like ‘wow i wonder what it would be like to make out with wally, wally come make out with me’ and wally’s like ‘we’ve done this like 40 times, dick, you know what it’s like’ and dick is like ‘sorry are you complaining?’ and they just make out.

superfam and batfam associations??

-batman and superman

-dick/barabara and supergirl?

-conner and tim

-jon and damian

pls enlighten me I am confused

nope,,, uhm batman and superman, but dick and superman as well, and then conner and tim, jon and damian and steph + babs with supergirl

I came across a fic in which Wonder Woman calls Batman "Stella" (like Stellaluna, the children's book) and I can imagine the batkids hop on the trend and maybe copies of the book appear at random places (aka, everywhere Bruce frequents)

sorry can’t reciprocate that was the name of my high school chemistry teacher and it gives me nightmares to think about.

good human what are your pronouns?

wouldn’t you like to know?

I need me some gothamites preferring harley over joker memes

everyone prefers harley over joker youre just very fucked up if you dont

don't understand why people try to add like veteran policy to the batfamily

dick pulling out his veteran batfam member card so he can eat first: step aside, peasants

Do you know the song Simmer by Haley Williams? It (the first verse anyways) reminds me of Jason? It's about rage.

damn yeah i LOVE HAYLEY!!!! youre right thoo

Okay so I like listen to your stoner Tim Drake playlist 24/7 but would he listen to skegss? Also I keep adding songs mentally it’s killing me 😩✋🏼 Anyways,, I literally love and worship your playlist 😃🤞🏼 And uh yeah have a good day ✨

stoner tim drake playlist is lyfeeee. also dont know who skeggs is? i’m stupid? have a good day!!

All the Robins (and Batgirl) decide to trade costumes for one night just to fuck with Batman and all the villains in Gotham. @subspacecadet 

batman knows it’s them youknow but like,,, what does he call them? he’s like ‘red hood?’ and 3 people answer and he’s not about to compromise some identities so he’s just Pissed.

I aspire to treat cops the way my dad treats them. This man is a 45 year old Asian immigrant to the US and the treats them like his pets. He talks about them like unruly children. Sometimes he pays off local cops to shut up and stop acting racist. And usually it works. I don’t know why but I can see Oliver Queen doing this

vibes... and also yes? oliver queen handing a local cop a donut to shut the fuck up lmao. but yanno i commit enough crimes to not really want to ever see a cop ever, so they kinda scare the everloving fuck out of me.

seeing as tim hasn't aged in years, that means he was 17 at peak emo tumblr era. im back on my emo tim bullshit and im not letting it go

emo tim had a wattpad account send tweet

People seem to think that batman is so dark and serious when the rainbow batsuit is right there. He wore it with no shame.

dude the 60s were a DIFFERENT TIME

dick grew up in a circus, jason grew up on the streets, and tim was probably raised by the internet

all of them cuss every other word and you cannot tell me otherwise

bitch i KNOW but dc has to change to an 18+ rating if they want to sell comix with swear words in them so we gotta deal with imagining the swear words in ourselves

thoughts on teen titans and young justice

haven’t seen teen titans on account of havent seen it and young justice was LITERALLY my favourite thing ever, tho i do gotta admit it’s not at all similar to the young justice comics unfortunately. i really wouldve liked to see timmy bart kon cassie and cissie animated on tv!!

ew ew ew how to delete batcest shippers I genuinely digust them

log off tumblr?

Okay as poc who was called racist for calling an Italian pastabrain: in the batfam are Italians bit Damian just yells various insults about the others being Italian. Just him yelling “What are you doing you moronic spaghettihead!” At steph etc

huh? i meant real italians. homeboy is telling steph he hopes she chokes on her fucking garlic.

I think it's dumb as hell to pull the batman is the best fighter in the batfam argument because like it's just irresponsible of Bruce to let his kids fight when they couldn't possibly be on his league or something

fair enough, but also like who cares they could all kill you just sit down and take a beating.

lady shiva, thalia al ghul and Selina Kyle are all milfs @notanothertimburtonenthusiastugh 

unfortunately, i have to admit,,, you’re right

why tf didn't someone give joker a death sentence already? like he's a mass murderer...give him the electric chair treatment wtf

idk i think plenty of people would have tried to murder him already (boring answer is: he is a popular character so they can’t kill him off bc he brings in lots of money)

There’s no such thing as “ copaganda”.

all american media is propaganda. happy to clear this up for you

is it bad that I find lady shiva owa owa

no. find her as owa owa as you want.

aight I'm guessing the order of your favs in batfam:

1. tim

2. Steph

3. dick

4. Duke

5. the rest

you’re wrong but it’s cute that you tried, i generally don’t have favourites, but i have a special place in my heart for steph, tim, dick and cass. bc they were like my introduction to batfam. but damian, jason, duke, bruce, babs and alfred are NOT FORGOTTEN OR UNLOVED

oh my god i was literally just readily willing to believe that italians werent white ty for clarifying it was a joke im so dumb sdkvjskdfs

i mean some italians aren’t white? italian is a nationality as well as an ethnicity, so like ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

since I saw so many people doing headcanons about the nationalities of batboys, I see Dick as an Italian.

dont know if youre serious or not, but sure.

super random but

jason 🤝 damian

old english

lmao fair enough.

tim absolutely has 1 gay uncle and his parents shit talk said uncle all the time so after bruce adopts him he specifically reaches out to this uncle to be like "heyyyy just so you know you majorly influenced my life yes i know i havent seen you since i was 5 and at the family reunion yes i know you dont remember my name idc thank you im gay too" and then they never talk again.

yuppp lmao that’s definitely something that could happen. i can also consider tim having no family members, like none. until he does like a dna test and he realises he has like an aunt living barely 2 miles away from him who’s like some illegitimate child of his grandpa.

I dare you one of them sends clark superman/clark fic and clark corrects the shit out of it and then goes like ps his dick is not that big, just telling as someone who has seen it. internet either explodes or goes who tf did he not fuck at this point.

i think everybody would call clark a buzzkill and try to cancel him over that.

so you're telling me Tim Drake wouldn't buy Starbucks?

no. dunkin donuts all the way

One of my favorite things is imagining people finding out jason came back from the dead and being like "oh no does he have magic powers now?!?!?" and he just pulls out a gun and tries to shoot joker

now he doesn’t even have the gun :) lmao

my favorite batfamily fanfictions are the ones where they use their shitty codenames, unironically, in any context

bruce gets codename ‘ugh’ everytime. he hates it.

crazy that tim being a 17 y/o ceo and a stoner who does brand deals are all actual canon things written in detective comics comics and not made up for shits and giggles by you, tumblr user batarangsoundsdumb @rowdeyclown

SO CRAZY HUH?

batman au where everything is the same but his utility belt is bright pink

absolutely, but i raise you, his boots light up like sketchers when he kicks people.

unbeknownst to the superhero fandom writers in the dcuniverse, clark and BRUCE are one of the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag on ao3. clark writes the best lois x superman angst, full of unhappy endings and scenes that are a so detailed you'd think you were in the middle of a superhero beatdown. bruce made an ao3 account to fuel "the do the butts match" thing, and makes batman/bruce fics from time to time. he wrote a superbat fic as a joke but ended up making it REAL porny. @concrastinator

dude they’re WAY too busy for that. Oliver Queen and Hal Jordan on the other hand are the most prolific fanfic writers in the superhero rpf tag writing what is Mostly porn.

When the dining table topic gets to politics, Steph says "eat the rich" as the solution

bruce just silently takes away her fork and knife while she’s talking.

[camsthisky]

paper crowns of silver and gold

ao3

Here’s my first submission for batfam week 2018! I posted it a little early on ao3 since I won’t have time Sunday, so some of you may have read it already. Thanks for all the support I’ve gotten over the past several weeks, and here’s my gift to all of you for being so amazing! <3

Prompt: Vacation or Separation

There’s a heaviness in Dick’s body when he wakes up that morning.

It starts in his chest, squeezing his heart before it becomes a metal band that squeezes his lungs and constricts his breathing. Then, it spreads from his chest to his stomach, and even at lunch—when he knows he needs energy to get through the next eight hour shift—he can’t manage to stomach more than a single bite of his turkey sandwich.

(Which is a shame, because it’s an Alfred made sandwich he’d brought home after the mandatory Sunday dinner.)

He doesn’t even have the excuse of it being Monday blues or something like that. It’s a Tuesday and he’s actually caught up on most of his work. It’s a miracle, but he really doesn’t have too much to stress over at the moment.

But by the time he leaves the precinct that night, the heaviness has spread throughout his whole body, all the way to his fingers and toes, and Dick’s exhausted with no discernable reason why.

It’s a little maddening.

“Sick?” Bruce echoes, though he sounds a little distracted.

Dick doesn’t pay it much attention, though, because Bruce usually has a thousand and one things running through his head, and there’s probably at least three separate things he has in front of him. And he still decided to answer the phone. It’s the little things that shows Bruce cares, after all.

“Yeah,” Dick says from where he’s curled up on his living room couch. The TV is on and muted, the subtitles giving Dick an idea of what’s going on, if he’d just read them. But he’s too worn out to follow along with the show and talk to Bruce at the same time. “I don’t think I’m going to make it to Gotham tomorrow morning.”

Hell, he’s not even going on patrol. Just getting up to turn off the television sounds like more work than he can handle. No, he’d much rather not move for the next twelve hours if he could help it.

“How bad?”

Which is Bruce speak for, If you bullshit me now and I find out you were poisoned, I’m not going to be happy.

“I’m not bedridden,” Dick tells Bruce with a little smile and a teasing lilt to his voice. “Seriously, it’s probably just a cold.”

“Fever?”

“No.” Dick frowns. “I’m achy? And abnormally tired.”

“You’re not going out tonight.”

Where a year or two ago, Dick might have gotten angry at the accusation, might have bristled at the implication that he can’t take care of himself, might have flipped over the fact that Bruce thought he could boss him around, now Dick just laughs a little and confirms, “I’m not going out tonight.”

There’s an undercurrent of worry to Bruce’s words, after all, and like he’d said before, it’s the little things with Bruce.

A few moments of silence pass by, and Dick—usually so chatty—lets it. Bruce is quiet on a good day, but this feels like something else. Like he’s been called away because something cropped up and Bruce is processing it. Dealing with it.

To confirm his guess, Bruce grunts, “Talk to Tim for a minute.”

(Sometimes it scares Dick how well he knows Bruce. Sometimes.)

“Hi, Dick,” Tim says.

He doesn’t sound too stressed, so Dick doesn’t ask why he’s suddenly been transferred to his little brother. He might never find out, even if he asks, and Dick’s dealt with Bruce far too long to worry about every single thing Bruce doesn’t tell him—he only worries about the important things.

Besides, Dick is always happy to talk to his little brother.

He makes a happy noise. “Timmy! It’s been like seven years since I talked to you!”

“I saw you Sunday night.” Tim sounds like he’s trying not to laugh.

“Yeah, and Sunday was like seven years ago.”

Tim’s probably rolling his eyes by now. “It was literally two days ago.”

Yep, definitely rolling his eyes. He’s such a teenager.

“Too long,” Dick says, and the moment the words are spoken aloud, Dick realizes it’s true.

He digs his way deeper into the blankets and tries to ignore the feeling of his apartment feeling too large and quiet around him. It’s just him and a muted TV, and while it doesn’t feel suffocating or anything like that, especially with Tim’s voice in his ear, it does feel a little empty.

He’s lonely. It’s not an uncommon feeling since his move to Blüdhaven, but he’s usually able to drown out the feeling with patrol or work, and now, curled up on the couch, too exhausted to move, he feels it immensely.

Suddenly, he wants to be back at the manor, listening to his crazy siblings bicker around him. He wants to hear loud bangs and indignant screeches followed by screeches of laughter from the second level. He wants to hear bustling in the kitchen, and the patter of paws and jingle of collars. The sound of classical music from Damian’s room. Rock from Tim’s. Stephanie’s bubbly laugh and Cassandra’s quiet one. Jason’s curses when he thinks Alfred’s not within earshot (but Alfred’s always within earshot).

It’s only been two days, but there’s a big part of him that’s missing. It’s natural, probably, considering the way he trusts each and every person in his big chaotic with his whole being.

But also, he just misses Bruce. He misses Bruce’s grunts, and his laughter that sometimes sounds like a cat got stuck in a blender, and the way Bruce will tuck his cape or blanket or coat around Dick’s shoulders as if he can physically comfort any pain or sadness away. He misses the forehead kisses and the way Bruce used to tuck him into bed and the way he’d just look at Dick and know something was wrong.

He’s not alone by any means, but sometimes living in a different city is almost like he’s living in a whole other world. And he doesn’t visit his old world enough.

On the other hand, he likes living in Blüdhaven. He likes living alone and having the freedom to make his own choices. He likes being Officer Grayson. He likes being Nightwing of Blüdhaven. He likes helping people in this city both during the day and the night. It feels like he’s making an impact here.

To an extent, Blüdhaven is home now. But so is Gotham.

God, he doesn’t have the energy to think about this anymore.

In his ear, Tim’s rambling about something Damian did this morning, and Dick startles when he realizes that he actually hasn’t listened to a single word that Tim’s said. He just majorly zoned out.

“—and he didn’t even say thank you!” Dick should speak. He doesn’t. Just lets Tim keep going and going, and Dick just kind of…listens. It’s not that unnatural. He’s always encouraged his siblings to talk to him, and most of the time, he really does just listen, but he’s probably been just a bit too quiet, because not a minute later, Tim says, “—don’t even know what I’m going to do. Hey, are you still there?”

Dick hums.

Tim goes silent, too, and there’s just this quality to it that has Dick rolling his eyes. “I’m just tired, Timmy.”

“Tired,” Tim repeats, sounding somewhat disbelieving. There’s a pause again, a creak of a chair. And then Tim says, “O-kay. You’re sick?”

Ah. Looking at Bruce, then.

Dick shrugs, even though he knows Tim can’t see him. “Maybe. I probably just picked something up from the precinct. There were a few people out last week. Could have spread.”

“How convinced are you?”

Dick sighs. “I don’t know, Tim. I’m tired.”

“Symptoms?”

“Tim, seriously,” Dick says, frown pulling his lips down. “If it gets worse than I’ll go to a clinic or call someone, but I’m fine.”

“Okay,” Tim says, and Dick can hear the frown on his lips, too. He sounds less enthusiastic about talking to Dick than he had before.

“Tell me about your trip with Kon and Bart,” Dick requests, hoping to change the subject.

Tim immediately charges into a story about his friends, and Dick listens to the best of his ability. At some point, though, Tim’s voice dims to a small buzzing in his ears, and Dick’s eyes droop closed.

He falls asleep on the couch.

At first, he’s not sure what it is that wakes him up. There’s a distant banging that’s grating on his ears, but it’s nothing compared to the pounding in his head and the unnatural warmth sitting just beneath his skin.

The banging stops, and there’s muted yelling that Dick’s brain can’t quite comprehend.

He decides to just go back to sleep.

“Up,” someone’s saying, a lot closer now than the yelling had been before. Close enough to shake his shoulders, and Dick blearily opens his eyes just as hands grip his upper arms and pull. “Come on, Dickiebird. Get up.”

“I’m up,” Dick mumbles as he stumbles to his feet—right into someone’s chest. He stares at the leather jacket for what has to be a good thirty seconds before it finally registers who exactly this leather jacket belongs to. He blinks up at his younger brother, feeling more disoriented than ever. “Jason?”

Jason rolls his eyes and pulls Dick out of the living room and into the bedroom. From there, he helps Dick get under the sheets. Dick goes to grab the comforter, too, but Jason strips it from the bed before he can do much more than lay a finger on it.

“Hey,” Dick whines, feeling a lot more awake now.

“You’ve got a fever.”

“This is my apartment. You can’t boss me around. And I’m older than you.”

Jason snorts. “Never stopped me before.”

Dick doesn’t argue. Instead, he sighs in exasperation and pinches the bridge of his nose as he leans back against the pillows. “Why are you in my apartment?”

Jason opens his mouth to answer when Tim barrels through the bedroom door, face flushed (with exertion?) and runs face first into Jason’s back, sending the both of them flying onto the bed. Dick just laughs.

Tim’s head pops up with a grin as he and Jason untangle themselves. “Dick! You’re not dead!”

Dick blinks. “Was that a big concern?”

“Apparently,” Jason says. “Kid woke me up at ass o’clock in the morning to drive over here and check on you. Never mind that he’s a legal adult with a driver’s license.”

“I needed you for moral support.”

“Since when am I anyone’s first choice for moral support?”

“I didn’t say you were my first choice.”

“Okay,” Dick says, clapping softly so that both of his younger brothers look over at him. “Seriously. Why did you break into my apartment?”

“Screw you, I did not break in—”

Dick stares at Jason, and says in his very best I’m serious and I’m not about to laugh tone, “I refuse to believe that you entered this apartment through anything that could be consider an actual door.”

“He wanted to go through the vents,” Tim supplies.

Dick believes him.

“Fuck both of you,” Jason snarls, but it’s not serious. There’s a whiny undercurrent to it that makes Dick grin. “Why am I even here?”

Dick throws up both of his hands in the air. “That’s what I was asking!” he exclaims—or. He tries. His voice gives out on him halfway through was with a strange crackle, and then Dick’s bending over with the force of a his coughs.

By the time he’s finished, Tim is anxiously hovering, and Jason’s face has gone from indignant to mildly concerned.

He waves them both off and leans back against the pillow. “So,” he says past the tickle in his throat. There’s a raspy quality to his voice now, but it’s not too bad. It might get worse the more time passes, depending on how bad his cold is, but he’d expected this yesterday. “My apartment’s the newest hang out spot for teens these days, is it?”

Jason rolls his eyes. Tim just sighs.

“You fell asleep on me last night,” Tim tells him, plopping down on the bed next of him. “I was worried, so I came to check on you. Figured if you were still feeling crappy we could have a sleepover. Like a vacation until you feel better.”

Dick fails to suppress a smile. “Mhm. And this doesn’t have anything to do with Damian?”

Tim refuses to acknowledge that question with an answer.

Jason, on the other hand, crosses his arms and glares. “Heck no.”

“Jasooooooon,” Dick whines. “I don’t feel good. I want cuddles.”

“You’re a lunatic.”

“So are you.”

Jason has no sympathy for Dick, though. “Cuddle Timmy, then.”

“Oh, I will,” Dick says. “But I want cuddles from you, too.”

“You’re a dork.”

“Doesn’t change the fact that I’m sick and needy and you have to give me a hug.”

“That’s not even remotely a fact,” Jason complains, but he flops down on Dick’s other side anyways.

Dick grins, and amazingly, the apartment doesn’t feel quite so empty anymore.

[whothefuckiscassandracain]

Post Crisis Cassandra Cain - A Summary

Well, folks, this is it – we have gone through all of Cassandra’s Post Crisis material (at least that of certain chronology)! What a ride! Now it is time to take one more look at the tag counter, before we reset everything for the New 52/Rebirth. Without further ado, here’s the final tally (with changes from the previous counter summary in brackets):

Aphasia: 88 (+16)

Living Emoji: 78 (+2)

Little Lady Of War: 53 (+13)

Batdad: 52 (+6)

Batmom: 50 (+6)

Dubious Characterization: 49 (+33)

Fast As Lightning: 45 (+3)

Fiercely Assertive Protector: 26 (+1)

Ghost Of Failures Past: 25 (+9)

Symbolism!: 24 (+6)

Creepy Bat: 24 (+8)

Cass Sass: 23 (+9)

Plight Of Permanent Perfectionism: 14

Better Off Dead: 13

Unusual mannerisms: 9

Made Of Steel: 9

Retchcon: 9 (+9)

Ballet Battler: 2

Spells ‘Team’ With An ‘I’: 2

First of all, as we can see, there were some traits to Cass’ character that can best be labelled as a case of Early Installment Weirdness and disappeared from her characterization after her defeat of Shiva.

Secondly, damn that Retchcon and Dubious Characterization counter! Late Post Crisis was really not kind to Cass, with Beechen in particular running her into the ground at every opportunity. Even just looking at it now hurts.

Thirdly, ignoring all the crappy Retchcons and Dubious Characterization, we now have a very clear picture of who Cass is. Her most defining traits remain:

Her aphasia, which resulted in her being very expressive with her body language and continued being an issue of varying degrees of severity, even after  she learned to understand spoken language. Cass does not give grand speeches and reading is a very taxing process for her, but she did improve over the course of her Post Crisis history.

Her insane combat skills (Little Lady Of War), which, combined with her very assertive style of handling problems, her insane speed, and her very tacit nature, often caused people to be at least intimidated and sometimes even downright terrified of her.

Her tendency to blame herself for past failures, whether they are people she failed to save or mistakes she made while on the job. This is especially relevant since Cass’ loyalty is not towards any one person, but towards what the bat symbol represents.

Her tendency to sass out her opponents (and sometimes allies) with what little words she uses.

Now, as for her relationship with the Batfam, the following can be said in summary:

Bruce was both a mentor and a father figure to her, from the beginning to the end, with varying degrees of heartwarming/jerkish behavior. The latter was usually a result of post Jason’s death causing Bruce to be an emotional brick and put the mission before everything else. For most of the story… Cass did not mind all too much, at least if you can ignore Beechen’s retcons, although she was still happy about her eventual adoption. That said: if you ever want to trigger the Batdad in Bruce, let someone catcall after Cass and he’ll probably break the guy’s jaw.

Barbara was essentially Cass’s mother figure and trying very hard to nurture Cass’ civilian identity, much in contrast to Bruce’s and Cassandra’s approach. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that Cass established a similar, if brief, relationship with Brenda while in Blüdhaven – another redhead with a kind, but firm approach to encouraging Cass to actually live her life for her own sake. It is a crying shame that the Barb and Cass had very few interactions after War Games, but it is hardly surprising, given that DC was in the process of writing almost every single woman/girl in the Batman stories out of these stories. One thing that should be mentioned: barring that single brain fart in Birds of Prey Vol 2, Barbara has always had Cass’ back, even during times when other members of the family did not trust her.

Speaking of which: Dick Grayson. Oh boy. This relationship started relatively neutral, with Dick being very much ok with Cass in their first interaction, despite Cass’ disability and her related quirks. Then it became heartwarming on screen, with Dick quickly coming to Cassandra’s aid and making sure she was okay during the “Soul” drug storyline in Batgirl and being very upset when she let him hit her during the Bruce Wayne: Murderer? storyline, as well as off screen, since he apparently acted out all the parts of Cinderella for her at one point. Then it took a complete nose dive into the opposite direction following Cass’ asinine turn to evil, which led to Dick being openly hostile towards her and not trusting her with… well, pretty much anything. It took Alfred shouting at him to reconcile the two and while their last few interactions were of the reasonably friendly nature again, it was too little too late. What a mess.

As for Tim, he went from not trusting her during their initial interaction to gradually accepting her as a member of the family to being very supportive of her and a very good friend, especially following War Games, when the two of them worked together in Blüdhaven. In contrast to Dick, Tim was much more willing to forgive Cass for her actions during her turn to evil and maintained a good, friendly relationship with her, even after she moved to Hong Kong. He was the one who gave her the Blackbat suit and reminded her that she was family and he was also the one who worked with her the most. Last but not least, he did not put up with Damian’s bullshit about Cass in Gates of Gotham. Good job, Tim! You’ve been a very good brother to Cass.

Speaking of Damian, he had very little interaction with her and went from “she sounds wonderful” before they met to being very abrasive towards her after they met and calling her “spineless, naïve and fragile”. Honestly, it comes across very unconvincingly and much more like Damian’s bruised ego trying to defend himself from someone who does actually live up to her reputation may be legitimately better than him in certain aspects. Either way, there is not much love lost between the two of them.

Next up: Stephanie. During their first meeting, Cass was rather cold towards Stephanie, mostly because of their difference in skill level. Cass’ concern about Stephanie not being strong enough to do the job remained for a long time, but she still grew to like and respect her as a friend and partner eventually, to the point where Stephanie could arguably be called Cass’ best friend. They chatted about boys, they played rooftop tag together, they discussed important changes in their lives, such as Stephanie becoming Robin. During War Games, Cass wanted to go looking for Steph because she was worried about her and only didn’t because Bruce promised he’d do it instead. Steph’s ‘death’ hit Cassandra hard, to the point where she hallucinated Stephanie being the one to greet her and comfort her on the other side of the pearly gates during two (near)death experiences. During Convergence, Stephanie and Cass lived together for a full year, supporting each other both physically and emotionally. Stephanie is, without the doubt, the best friend Cassandra ever had.

Finally, there is Alfred (because DC were cowards and never gave us Cass & Jason). Alfred, as always, was a real treasure. At first, he merely took care of Cass’ own Batcave home and later her apartment near Gotham U as per Bruce’s request. Then he went through the trouble of finding her the perfect apartment/secret cave combination in Blüdhaven. He was shocked to hear of her supposed death and upon her return to the Batfam and her moving into Wayne Manor was quick to point out that Cass felt like she did not belong there and that they should do more to reassure her that this was really her home and her family now, with no strings attached. More than anybody else in the family, Alfred recognized the often self-destructive need Cass felt to redeem herself for past failings and it is only thanks to his intervention that Dick reconciled with Cass. In short, over time, Alfred has come to care deeply about Cass, as he does about all the children that ever fought alongside Bruce/Batman.

Last but not least, a few notable mentions about other relationships Cass had with various people:

Cassandra has a complicated relationship with her father, if you ignore Adam Beechen’s horrible retcons. For eight years, Cain was all she had, and while she recognizes that he is a horrible human being and a lousy father (she beat him into a pulp over this), she also recognizes that he does actually care about her. As a result, Cass is not friendly with him, but she is not cruel towards him either.

Her mother, Lady Shiva, barely had anything to do with her and left her in Cain’s hands an hour after Cass was born. She mainly saw Cass as a tool (someone to finally defeat her in combat and later someone to help Nyssa Raatko lead the League Of Assassins), but showed at least some motherly concern when it was believed that Cassandra had been killed and Shiva helped Tim investigate her murder.

One of the few people she was close to before operating independently as Batgirl was Leslie Thompkins. Cass has insane respect for Leslie, because of her iron pacifist nature and was deeply saddened when Leslie broke ties with her during War Games. We sadly never got to see reunite on page.

Cassandra has had a rocky relationship with Huntress, mostly because Cass is staunchly anti-killing and because Batman took the Batgirl mantle from Huntress and gave it to Cass. Mind you, Barbara never approved of Helena as Batgirl.

She got along very well with Onyx, thanks to Onyx having been with the League Of Assassins before and thus actually being a challenge for Cass, while being a genuinely good person. Sad we didn’t get to see much of these two together.

Azrael (Jean-Paul) had a crush on her, which Cass did not quite reciprocate, but she wasn’t unfriendly to him either.

The first boy she ever kissed was Connor Kent (Superboy), even though she was annoyed with his way-too-carefree nature and his focus on her physical attractiveness. They broke up amicably.

She had three more dates with guys, none of which went anywhere.

And to round off our summary, here are some nice little bits and pieces of Cass

The first words she learned were, in chronological order: (thanks - incomplete), (goodbye - incomplete), stop, no, me, shutup, what, why, stay, instinct

She was 17 years old at the time of her introduction. Her birthday is January 26th.

Her favorite ice cream flavor is chocolate.

Cass is a big and messy eater.

Her home is very untidy and while in the manor she did not customize her room at all (no pictures or other mementos).

She likes horror movies (she really enjoyed Alien).

She is probably the only person in the family who really wants to be the next Batman and actually became Batman in some timelines/alternate universes.

She likes rice krispies, Assam tea, and long showers.

Cass can’t hold her liquor.