#also you can't deal with the issue unless you face it for what it is

[keen-li]

What you need | 04

Synopsis: everybody needs, but how do you define need? Do you even know what you need.

Genre: best friends au, angst, fluff, smut, slow burn.

Jungkook x fem reader.

Wc: 3.5k

Warning: not proof read.

Prev | next

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You can be mad at Jungkook for many reasons, but not for when he tells the truth. It’s not that you’re really mad at him; you’re mad at the fact that he was right. The truth is a huge pill to swallow, and you’ve got the smallest throat in the world.

Jungkook calls you stubborn, but you call yourself strong-willed—strong-willed to avoid the truth and advice, especially from Jungkook. He dishes out honesty quite well; every one of your friends does.

Like in any other friendship, your stubbornness tends to cause you and Jungkook to butt heads. But he’s learned to navigate around it, and one way is to let you be. Talking to you while you’re in a mood never gets anywhere. That’s what he did last night, and the guilt ate him raw.

He’ll wait for you to talk to him, and wait he will. But it’s never for long.

“You don’t have the chocolate ones?” Your gaze avoids him as you ask. You've been avoiding eye contact all morning, and it's been difficult considering you've been bumping into him while trying to make breakfast—a breakfast he would have gladly made for you.

Childish is what you assume Jungkook is thinking, but he should be well aware of how childish you are. In addition to being childish, you have an intense fear of confrontation. You’d rather hide than tend to an issue of importance; it’s easier.

Jungkook doesn't see it that way. He prefers to deal with things as they arise, especially when it comes to a dispute between you both. But that’s not to say he’s perfect; he can be a coward too, though he leans toward not letting it show.

Your body is turned away from him but still standing close, wanting to feel his warmth—something to remind you that he doesn’t completely hate you for lashing out. He gets you; he hopes you know it.

Jungkook’s eyes scan his kitchen shelves in search of that chocolate cereal you love. He got it for when you come over. He’s not a huge fan of it; they always stay on the same shelf, the one above where he stands. “They’re here.” He leans over to reach the top shelf where they were in plain sight. Contemplating whether you actually didn’t know or you wanted to fill the awkward air between the two of you, he hands the box to you.

You mumble a little thank you as he hands it to you. His hand lingers on the box a second longer as he considers being the one to start talking. He’s waiting for you, sure, but he’s also aware of how hard it is for you to address even the most minuscule of conflicts.

Your night was cold, like your recent previous nights. Even though Jungkook made sure you had the thickest blanket he owned, it wouldn’t be fair to blame it on the weather because it’s warm outside, even at night. Blaming his air conditioner wouldn’t be fair either; Jungkook gives you all the freedom to turn it up or down.

Maybe it’s the fact that you went to sleep ‘mad’ at Jungkook or yourself. The line is very blurry when it comes to who gets the blame. That’s your thought process.

You know Jungkook, and you’re well aware he won’t talk to you unless you speak to him first. You’re sure he feels bad in some way, and you feel bad for it. He shouldn’t feel bad; he was right. Why the heck are you even blaming him?

So, after a large gulp down the rock, you decide to break the awkward and painful silence. “Are you mad?” It comes out as a whisper, and he barely hears it.

Jungkook is quick to hear the mumbling from you but can't quite comprehend the sound. "Huh?” He turns to you, faced away from him, which adds to his confusion. Are you talking to him or not?

“I’m asking if you’re upset?” You try to make it louder, but it’s just as low as before. Why do you get so timid? You hate confrontation so much.

Jungkook chuckles, and for a moment, you feel like he’s mocking you, but it’s far from his intention. You’re just amusing when you behave like this. “Y/N, I can’t hear you,” he states in a volume you should try to emulate.

“Don’t tell me you can’t look at me.” He turns back to his breakfast, which he abandoned to attend to you. “And when I tell you you’re like a baby, you want to disagree?” He smiles to himself. One thing Jungkook is never going to do is force you to do something.

“I’m not,” you try to argue as you finally turn to him, but he doesn’t do

the same this time, too focused on his food. A smirk lines his lips perfectly, and faint dimples adorn his cheeks. Is he relishing in this?

“Look at how you were cowering away like I was gonna bite you.” He spreads butter on his toast, unlike you, who prefers not to have bread in toast form for breakfast.

The air thins, and you feel more relaxed to just speak. In exchange for anxiety, sadness sets in. You pout.

“Sorry,” you mumble. He’s aware of what you mean, and it’s funny how quickly and shyly you say it.

“Don’t apologize,” he shakes his head at you. Once the silence sinks in again, Jungkook decides to help you. “Tell me. What did you want to say?” His soft voice ushers you on, along with his relaxed body turned toward you.

“I was asking if you’re upset.” You lean against his counter and bite down on your lower lip—an act to hide from Jungkook's gaze?

He furrows his brows in confusion. His breakfast can wait. He walks to you and stops when his feet hit yours. Placing his hands on his hips, he asks, “Upset with who? You?” His body towers over you, and you feel his soft eyes analyze your features.

When you nod, he smiles and moves in to wrap his arms around you. “Awh, bunny,” he coos, taking your face into his palms.

“I’m not mad at you; if anything, I’m more upset with myself.”

“Why would you be mad at yourself? I was wrong.” Your voice is soft and regretful. The last person on this earth you’d want to argue with is Jungkook, and you hate it when you do. “I shouldn’t have been so quick to get mad.”

“Yeah, but I should’ve phrased myself better.” He looks down at you, and when you realize just how close you are, you scoot away a bit. Jungkook catches it and slowly lets you go. Awkwardness sets in, but this time it’s in a different form—a form bearing the image of your ex.

You’re comfortable with Jungkook, and you’ll say that a million times, but something about being so close to him makes you think about being with Yunho. Yunho had always been the person you ran to when you weren’t okay (while you were together), and he’d hold you just like that. His loving eyes looking down at you, his warmth keeping you closer to him on colder or lonely days. But since you broke up, Jungkook has been the one to be there for you like always. Maybe it’s because you can’t get Yunho out of your head; you’ve been missing him of late, and it’s messing with your mind. You haven’t been able to go back to the way you were; that’s probably the reason. You just hope Jungkook can realize that.

You hope you get your act together soon. You'd hate to see Yunho on the face of every man who cares about you, especially on Jungkook's.

“You’re entitled to your feelings; don’t ever apologize for that.” Jungkook, now feeling a shift in warmth, turns to his now cold toast. If he puts it back in the toaster, it’ll go back to being warm, right?

“So, you’re not mad?”

He shakes his head. “But I am mad that you make me buy those for you.” His tone and the air around you shift back to playful, and the smile on his face makes you smile as well.

You giggle. “And you’re cute for it.”

“You’re gonna have to pay me back one day for how much I’ve spent.”

You place your hand on your heart in feigned patriotism to your words. “And I’ll give you back every penny.”

Jungkook laughs, knowing he wouldn’t take them anyway. He enjoys buying them for you.

Life really knows how to bring you back to reality, and it does seem to enjoy seeing you unhappy.

“If you won’t make it, it’s fine,” you speak to Jungkook through your phone. The call has lasted longer than it should because he can’t stop apologizing. “Jungkook, if you can’t make it, it’s fine. It’s not that big of a deal.” Your eyes recognize the words on your paper, but you aren't paying them any mind.

“Are you saying lunch with me is not that big of a deal, Y/L/N?”

Ever since you two started eating lunch together, you’ve never missed a day, but today is different. Jungkook informed you he had some extra work that would overlap with your planned schedule, so you would be having lunch by yourself. And that’s fine.

You don’t mind at all; it’s not like it’s on purpose. Of course,

you do enjoy eating lunch with him, and you are sad about not having him around for the lunch you might not eat. But it’s life, and sooner or later, you two will be consumed with responsibilities that you won’t be able to hang out at all. You don’t like the thought of it, but you have to acknowledge the possibility.

You had a taste of it when you were in a relationship with Yunho. You and Jungkook didn’t hang out as much, and your teasing was reduced to respect your relationship. It’s only a matter of time before Jungkook gets a girlfriend, and you have to spend less time together. A girlfriend to share things with—or you will get a boyfriend, or at least a fling.

It may seem like you’re bad friends, but it’s not that way. Even if either of you were in a relationship, you’d still hang out and call each other; that wouldn’t change. It’s not like you’re only friends when you’re both single. But it’s obvious that when one is in a relationship, their time will be cut down compared to when they were single. And that’s okay; it’s not something you fret over, like you and Jungkook will stop being friends. Never.

Jungkook definitely understood and respected your relationship when you were with Yunho, and you still found time to hang out. Besides, all this applies to Willoe and Jimin as well. Even though it seems like you’re paired off, you’re all still friends in the same way.

You do tend to wonder what it’ll be like when Jungkook gets a girlfriend, though. Over your years of friendship, he has had some flings and situationships, but he’s never had a relationship that involved him being emotionally attached. He’s not a player in any sort of way; he wouldn’t toy with a girl’s heart. He just never made an emotional commitment to them, which he made known to them. He always made it clear that he wasn’t into relationships. Maybe he’s non-committal? He’s never really taken the time to sit down and think about it. But he’s well aware that, for some reason, he’s not looking for a relationship, and lately, even sexual relationships haven’t been on his mind.

You chuckle. “You know that’s not what I mean.”

Playing with the pen in your hand, you contemplate even going for lunch. You do have work too, though it’s something that can wait. Plus, you don’t feel hungry anyway. This was one of the reasons you liked going for lunch with Jungkook. Apart from getting to hang out with him, it kept you eating. If Jungkook is there, you are forced to eat and not get distracted. Because eating alone will lead you to have unwarranted thoughts about Yunho, and you’d end up losing your appetite. You won’t deny how your lunches are the only time you eat a proper meal. At home, when you’re alone, all you eat is snacks.

“I know,” you aren’t able to see it, but on the other side, an angry and short Isabel signals for Jungkook to get off the phone. He furrows his brows at her. “Anyway, I’ll call you later. Sorry for not being able to make it.”

There he goes again. You smile. In the background, you can hear a female voice call his name in a warning tone, and by his rushed words, you can tell he’s on borrowed time. He would’ve ended this call long ago, but he enjoys dragging them out.

“Cut the call, Jungkook.” You want him to as well, and he can’t help but pout at how everyone wants him to end his call.

“I will. Don’t forget to eat your lunch.”

“I will.”

You won’t.

Soon the line beeps, and you’re left with his contact to look at and the candid picture of him you took. You doubt he's aware of its existence. If he saw it, he'd make you delete it and put a 'better one.' But it's cute, and you like it.

The smile you have on your face is wiped off when you’re met with Hoseok’s looming figure. Now, when you look at it, why is his figure more noticeable now?

“Not going for lunch?” he asks in a tone you can’t decipher the intention behind.

You start to arrange the papers on your desk for no reason and in no particular order. “No.”

“Why?” he shoots back immediately.

You sigh as you look at him. You did want to hurl back a snarky comment, but you’re running low on energy. “Not hungry.”

“Shame.” He says, and you prepare yourself for what he wants to say. “The boss wanted to have lunch with you, but since you’re not hungry, I’ll tell—”

“When did I say I wasn’t hungry?” He’s about

to argue, and you see it on his face, but you step in before he can say anything.

“He wants to have lunch with me for real?” You stand and eye him skeptically.

Hoseok nods, not much enthusiasm behind it.

You stare at him with an I-hope-you-aren’t-lying look.

Hoseok loves to mess with you, but the good thing about him is that he knows when not to.

“Go see for yourself.”

Your stomach fills with butterflies of nervousness as you walk, your previous worries forgotten. You turn to give Hoseok a last look, and he shrugs.

It would be a big deal for you if your boss wanted to have lunch with you. This means a lot.

Who are you kidding? You’re starving.

“Again?” you groan.

Jungkook pulls at his lip before he speaks. “I know.” He sighs. “There’s a lot of work here for some reason.” He explains.

It’s been several days, and the weekend approaches, yet you two still haven’t been able to have lunch together. It’s life; you accept that, but it’s still such a bummer. Plus, you’ve been meaning to talk to Jungkook about something—maybe tell him why you and Yunho actually broke up.

You’ve been reflecting on it, and maybe after you talk to him about it, you’ll stop thinking about Yunho.

“It's alright,” you say with a sad pout. Jungkook can feel it through the phone, and it breaks his heart. “Wanted to talk to you,” you say, and Jungkook shifts his feet that were stationary on the cement floors of the workshop.

The air shifts, and concern grows at your tone. “About?” he waits for your answer, which he already knows.

“Yunho.” It’s through a heavy heart and a sour throat that you’re even able to say his name. “But since you’re busy, it’s fine; we can talk when you’re free.”

“Yeah, sure.” He is worried, but there’s nothing much he can do in this moment, and he knows it’s not something that can be talked about on the phone, especially when you’re both at work. So, he makes an internal promise to make time for you.

“Talk to you later,” you say, your voice far from okay.

“I haven’t seen her in a week and some days,” Jungkook informs, his mind still in thought. “Plus, I don’t think it’s the best time to tell her; it seems like she’s still hung up on him.”

Of course, you are; it’s only been what? A month?

“Yeah, Willoe was talking to her yesterday, and I think I heard her crying.” He follows up, explaining that he hasn’t had the time to call you yet.

Jungkook’s heart physically drops, and his friend can clearly see that.

“Must not be easy keeping that secret from her.” Jungkook leans back into his couch, clearly disturbed.

It’s definitely hard keeping anything from you, but this, especially, has taken a toll on him. A whole month? He never thought he’d keep something from you for this long. Does he even want to tell you? Keeping it is killing him, but the thought of you knowing and seeing what it might do to you kills him even more. To make it worse, it’s been more evident lately that you’ve been thinking about the bastard. He can tell when you do.

You space out and just forget everything around you. And that sad look on your face isn’t missed by him. He wants to do everything in his power to make you feel better, but there’s only so much he can do. Plus, Isabel has him doing extra hours at work, which has just made your time spent together less. He can only imagine how alone you’ve felt.

He knows you’ve got Willoe and Jimin, but for some reason, you’ve all been busy. Jimin is trying to get down on a project he’s on, Willoe is out on a work trip, and he himself is working overtime. He knows you’ve been busy too, especially with trying to get your promotion. You’re only able to call each other on the phone. And sometimes those calls aren’t guaranteed because when he’s heading home from work, you’re asleep.

Or ignoring him. He chuckles; he knows you’d never seriously ignore him.

“It pisses me off every time I think about it, man.” Jungkook positions the camera so Jimin can see him. “Did I tell you I fucking punched him?” Jungkook smiles at the memory.

Jimin raises his brows in shock. “Seriously?” Jimin laughs at the thought. “You should’ve told me so that I could get my fair share too.”

Jungkook laughs. He takes a drink of his beer.

And with that, he’s reminded of the weighty task ahead—telling you about taking a swing at your ex-boyfriend. If he had to break the news to someone else that their boyfriend was cheating, it would be straightforward. But with you, it feels like a heavy stone lodged in his chest. The thought of seeing the pain in your eyes causes him physical anguish. Over the years, you’ve become someone incredibly special to him, and the idea of you suffering cuts deeper than he ever expected. He’s never cared for anyone the way he cares for you.

“You’re gonna tell her, though?” Jungkook scoffs, trying to mask his uncertainty as he sees his blond friend raise an eyebrow at him.

“I will,” he replies, but the conviction in his voice falters. Jimin can see right through him, and that gnawing doubt eats away at Jungkook. He knows he has your best interests at heart, but the last thing he wants to do is hurt you further. The thought of you finding out about Yunho’s betrayal sends a chill down his spine.

Jimin shakes his head, concern etched across his face. “I feel so bad for her,” he says, knowing he’d never voice that sentiment to you directly, aware of how much you despise pity. “She said she’s taking a break from dating, so I hope that helps her.”

Jungkook hums in agreement, but the relief is fleeting. “Don’t tell Willoe, though,” he says, his voice dropping as if speaking the name might summon trouble.

“Really?” Jimin’s tone rises, incredulous.

Jungkook shoots him a warning glare, and Jimin rolls his eyes in response. “Fine, I won’t tell her.”

“Don’t. If she knows, then Y/N will automatically find out,” Jungkook insists, the urgency in his voice palpable.

Jimin nods, understanding the gravity of the situation. “Gotta go now,” he says, glancing at his watch. Jungkook’s attention drifts to his phone, where a message from work blinks at him.

“Hey, they need me at work,” he mutters, the words feeling heavy on his tongue.

“Alright, it was nice talking to you,” Jimin replies, but Jungkook can hear the underlying concern.

Jungkook pauses, feeling the sincerity of the moment weigh down on him. “So sincere, gross,” he retorts, trying to lighten the mood, but it falls flat.

“Just say it back,” Jimin presses, his tone teasing but his eyes serious.

“Fine. It was nice chilling with you too, Jimin.” He cringes at the words, the smug smile on Jimin’s face only amplifying his discomfort.

“Love you,” Jimin says, half-joking, but the sentiment hangs in the air like an unspoken truth.

“Don’t push it,” Jungkook replies, though the words feel hollow. Jimin laughs, but Jungkook knows he would never say it back. “But if I were Y/N, you would’ve said it back,” Jimin teases, and Jungkook’s heart sinks further.

“Yeah, but you’re not.”

As he leans back into his couch, a storm of thoughts churns in his mind. He contemplates the idea of telling you, but the fear grips him. You’ve gone a month without knowing the truth—what could a little more time do? He wrestles with the notion that he should wait until you’re more healed, but each passing moment feels like a betrayal in itself. The longer he holds back, the more he feels he’s complicit in Yunho’s deceit.

What if you never truly heal? What if you deserve to know the truth now? The internal conflict rages within him. He knows he has to make a decision soon, but right now, he can’t shake the feeling that revealing the truth would only add to your pain.

The clock ticks in the background, and Jungkook knows he can’t ignore this forever. The question lingers: when is the right time to shatter your world and reveal the truth?

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a/n: writing this chapter has been a rollercoaster for me, from the lack of motivation and inspiration to the elephant in the room which is the fact that this was supposed to be 20k words long. sigh. from 20k to 3k

I had so much written and in a way I loved but I don't know what happened and the file got lost. and because of that I lost a lot of motivation and just wanted to be over with the chapter.

sorry for the shitty chapter, the following will be better. please don't let this chapter or the previous be your impression of this series. it's gonna get better. love y'all and thanks for the support and patience. (if you were even waiting lol)

Tagged: @jksusawife@mother2monsters@gimeow

[cephalonsuda]

americans call covid an american endemic disease instead of a pandemic disease in 2024 challenge (impossible)

[mochinomnoms]

Please share the lewd interspecies romance.

Okay so mostly I have thoughts over the Octavinelle trio, especially the twins 🫣 but i wrote a lil something for most of them! also this was not meant to be so long idk what happened

[tags] - nsfw, AFAB-implied reader, but written gender-neutral, mentions of ruts/heats, breeding, etc

nsfw under read-more, minors DNI!

If you really compare humans to the nonhuman population of Twisted Wonderland, there's are some small physiological differences between species. Fae, surprisingly, don't differ from humans all too much. Land dwellers in general don't have anything too significant, though all of nonhuman species retain aspects of their animal counterparts.

Most of Savanaclaw goes through some sort of rut/heat during various times in the year, primarily early spring and summer. There's no logical reason for them to retain that aspect of their mating cycle anymore, not for a sentient species that have skills of logic and reasoning. Unfortunately, they didn't get to choose how their evolution worked, and so they have to deal with it in anyway they can.

They get a lot more irritable, they have throbbing headaches, their abdomen hurts, and the scent of their mate is a lot more enticing than normal. Jack probably has it the worst of them, as a wolf beastmen. Not only does he have to deal with a fever-inducing rut that will put him out of commission for a week, afterwards he has to deal with the a/b/o jokes from his classmates too, oh the horror. It is really a horror though when he's able to bend you over his bed, bite marks aligned your neck and back as his dick pounds into you till his knot swells and locks you in for at least an hour. Jack's incredibly embarrassed afterwards, though he manages to be incredibly sweet even after rearranging your guts. Wolf beastmen are one of the most affectionate partners to have with a reputation providing some of the best aftercare for their species. It's most likely to make up for their week-long copulation, stretching and tiring out their sweet little mates. Ooooh, but they'll so very sweet: cleaning up the sticky mess of fluids between your legs with their tongue, careful to not overstimulate you (unless you ask), tending to the mating mark they placed on the back of your neck with soft kisses and licks, and making sure to prop your lower half up to that your chances of taking their seed increases.

Lacking the annual rut/heat that other variants of beastmen have, lion and hyena beastmen are more similar is this regard, as they don't have the same issue of long copulations as wolf beastmen. Neither will initiate sex, rather they'll rely on their mates to do so. Ruggie, in particular, is rather reluctant initiating sex, as male hyenas are typically more submissive, so if you're shy you'll have to get over it. But once you do, Ruggie is ever so happy to service you if you're happy to give him praise. Run your hands through his hair and ears as he eats you out, he'll let out the cutest whimpers and groans as you do. Just, expect to be jellyboned by the time he's done with you, as a hyena he needs to make sure his mate won't snip back at him and you can't exactly do that if your fucked out. While he may not have the same stamina as Jack for week-long fuck session, he has a particularly short refractory period and can have several short sessions in a single night.

Leona also won't typically initiate sex on his own, it happens very sporadically, and he his the image of the lazy lion. While he never wants to do anything particularly extraneous, who is he to deny you needs? You'll have to do some preparing though, as while the barbs on his dick aren't as bad as they are in his animal variant, they will hurt if you're not wet and pliable enough. Be sure to sit on his face, don't worry you won't suffocate him and it's better you cum a few times first before taking him. Unless you want it to hurt? Once you've cum enough times, you can ride him to your heart's content. He only asks that you don't mention how he rubs his head into the crook of your neck, marking you so that if everyone couldn't tell by the sounds coming from his room, they'd know you're his from his scent. Lions are quite protective with their territory and pride after all.

Merfolk have the most extreme physiological differences between them and...any land dweller really. It comes with the territory of being suited for a completely different environment. They also behave a lot more similarly to their animal counterparts, which can be both delicious and exhausting for their humans.

Moray eels don't have a set time of the year they mate, but rather the water must be warm and plenty of food must be ready to provide to their mate. When the spring time weather above the sea starts transitioning from crisp to blazing, don't be too surprised when the twins start handfeeding you meals and snacks throughout the week, they want to make sure you're happy and full for them, getting you in the mood with a sweet, dizzying underwater dance to initiate until they get the okay from you. What's that 'okay' though? You know that yawning I mentioned before? You'll get your answer from them now, as they take your open mouth yawn as an invitation rather than a sign of tiredness. Floyd, in particular, is ready to drag you into the deep part of the pool before remembering that you need to breathe somehow. Not a problem. He'll keep your pretty head above water. You'll still have trouble breathing as his long tapered tongue worms his way in your mouth. No matter, you'll be gasping for breath as he bullies this cock into your hole, large enough that you can physically feel the bump on your stomach. Morays are awfully fond of wrapping themselves around their mates, seeing as Floyd will do his best to tangle his tail around your body and squeezing you as you squeeze down his dick. He loves the physical contact between you two, and is amused how your nails try to dig into his shoulders seeing as the mucus on his skin makes it near impossible to have a steady grasp. You're completely dependent on Floyd as you drool and cry out for relief from the overstimulation, which is oh so ever exciting.

Jade is equally as cruel when it comes to mating. Unlike the others, merfolk tend to mate with the intention to, well, mate. He prefers you to be soft and pliant for him, as well as wholly depending as you two fuck. So, he'll happily brew you a water-breathing potion so he can actually drag you into the deep, where he found a secluded, warm grotto that will allow him to keep you to himself for hours, but close enough to the surface that he can continuously grab you food to eat between sessions. Not that those sessions will be short either. Like his brother, Jade is content to wrap himself around your body as he cooed honeyed words into your ears about how you'll make a wet, warm, soft hole for breeding. It's not like he'll have to do much either, his dick is prehensile and he can wrap himself around you, swiping kisses and nuzzling into the crook of your very sensitive neck while his thick cock continuously pounds into you with a bruising pace. He's so mean!! He likes seeing you cry from overstimulation too, and Jade will continuously scoot down to clean you up with his tongue, only to claim that too much of his seed was gone and he needed to fill you up again for another few hours. He's truly quite incorrigible, especially when he bites into your neck and shoulders to make his claim on you. Don't worry, most morays' bites aren't venomous, and even if they are, you have him to care for you. You're going to be depending on him in the water anyway, so there's no need to worry about it too much.

Something that neither probably won't mention, probably because they won't realize it's something you should know, is that they can change their sex under the right conditions. If you're ever so inclined in the future to test the waters out, the twins might be so generous to let you eat them out instead.

Of the trio, Azul's the only one with an established mating season, two actually: one in the late spring and the other in the early fall. Respectively, one during finals and the other during orientation. He's already so incredibly stressed, and he has the need to breed too? Downright atrocious. It's wonderful that you're so kind that he can take refuge in you and use you like a new octopot, so tell him how pretty he is and how much you love him and only him, so that you have the privilege fucking his merform. The moment you're entering the water, he'll unconsciously display mating signals by flashing soft lilacs and blues, a beautiful display of his need for you. He's rather large, even bigger than the twins, in his merform, so you'll need preparation as well; have no fear, his tentacles are wrapping and kneading the squishiest parts of you. I mentioned before that he can taste the salt on your skin and pulse through your wrist via his suckers. He can taste the slick from your walls, too, without even having to use his mouth as the suckers massage you from the inside. If you'd like, he technically could give you a full flavor profile afterward, though he'll probably be a bit mortified to do so. The biggest difference is his dick, or lack thereof. Instead of a dick, Azul has a hectocotylus, which is a modified, slightly shorter arm of his with a thicker spade-shaped tip that he can practically rearrange your guts with, with little effort on his part really. Most octo-mer variants will keep their mate at a distance, eons of instinct hard to forget. Azul's variant, though, will keep you close, almost dancing with you in a sweet, sensual twirl as he places sweet kissing and bites on your neck, arms, and chest. Octopi are, in fact, venomous, however, so you will be feeling a bit of a lustful high, paralyzed, and a bit helpless to the whims of a needy octopus. He's quite good at aftercare though, making sure you get an antidote and handfeeding you calorie-rich snacks to energize you back up (again, he's aware that you won't eat him, but instinct dictates that he keeps you full with both food and cum to make you a happy mate).

*collapses into heap on floor* thoughts....full.....ahahaha breeding kink go burrrrr. i was not meant to write this much and then it escaped me. also i hate tagging

[creatingblackcharacters]

"Calling Out Racists? Help!"

(shout out to the situation sender who's chosen to remain anonymous!)

NOTE: People of color, if you feel that your efforts would be in vain or cause more pain than it's worth, I fully respect not doing it. I've been there, and tbh I usually don't. But white netizens, I expect boots on the ground. Racism festers when no one does anything about it.

So, it's finally happened! You've come face to face with antiblackness in your fandom space. You never thought it could be this bad! Naturally YOU don't condone this behavior, so you take steps to remove yourself from this person.

However! Your friends and other fans are still happily sharing from someone that you KNOW is capable of this. Would they still be comfortable knowing they're yapping amongst racists? And then you wonder- should I tell everyone about them? I mean, surely everyone should know?

Thus we've come to the decision:

The Callout

In my honest opinion, callouts are morally neutral. When used to reveal consistent harmful beliefs, intentions, and behaviors to other people, usually of marginalized identities, I think they're critical. Our safety and humanity matters far more than someone's internet fame. If I can't stop someone from being a racist, I at least don't want their vitriol on my dash, and I ALSO don't want people thinking I agree! Racism shouldn't be tolerated at all, but unfortunately, many an antiblack racist has a popular following and will not be removed. Anything less overt than a slur like the example above is more often than not, not a dealbreaker for many.

On the other hand, when it is maliciously weaponized to drag someone down on nothing but hearsay and rumor, it can be devastating. It has often been used as retaliation against those very same marginalized peoples to shut down discussions of racism and other forms of bigotry. In my opinion, you should not do these sorts of things when you don't have any solid proof or an actual education on what you're talking about. Period.

I say that all to say, be intentional. Use your discernment and some critical thinking.

How Ice Deals With It

Let's say you see something that concerns you. First, you need to pay attention to if other Black fans have noted this person's behavior. Has it been previously noticed, have they seen dogwhistles you've completely missed? Keep in mind as well, antiblackness does not have to come from a white person. Don't let "I'm brown" fool you.

If you're confident: confront the person on the particular issue you've noticed.

‼️‼️‼️ For the maintenance of your mental health, you CANNOT go into this expecting to change someone's mind and behavior. If you do, 9/10 you will face demoralization. You cannot walk into these thinking they care. Most people don't, and will deny the harm of their behavior. It sucks, but it's the truth. Change your perspective. The only goal you need to have is pointing out the harm done, so that this person loses the excuse to be racist out of "ignorance". Once you've spoken up, ball's now in their court.

Confrontation doesn't have to be negative! It can be as simple as "hey, what you said was not okay, here's why, and I hope that you can learn from this to do better for yourself and for your fans." Simple, to the point.

‼️Keep in mind, from Fans of Color: the private confrontation is a sign that we're trying to give you a chance to do right. Everyone's not going to receive that grace, nor do I expect every fan of color to offer it. It might just be up with you and your racism that day. 🤷🏾‍♀️ I would take the chance if offered.‼️

We're going to go two routes here.

1) It works

If it works, then what should come next is 1) a full acknowledgment of the violence and harm, 2) visible steps to ameliorate that harm, and 3) an apology to those harmed.

It doesn't have to be a complex apology (unless the situation itself was that large). But it has to be genuine and the change needs to be seen.

Very often you'll see apologies for antiblackness... To white fans. You cannot apologize for your actions to people who were not harmed by them, because they are not the ones with the right to accept the apology!!!! It's not a real apology. They've just covered for being exposed, is all. Be willing to hold each other accountable!

2) It doesn't work

This might still happen after the "it works", btw! Some people genuinely just want the appearance of progressiveness.

Here's where it gets gritty and you'll experience the most discomfort, I'm just being honest:

They might fucking suck!

They might suck, they might make it a point to share with their followers that you suck, and those same followers might also suck! You know how they sound? Like those people who fought for rapist Brock Turner because "he had a good future and this shouldn't ruin it". Yeah.

Recognize that this backlash you may experience from strangers is not coming just from their need to be entertained, but from a realization that if their fave is antiblack and they agree, then THEY are being antiblack too.

That acute pain you're feeling from this effort- you're now feeling a part of the chronic pain that is being a Black fan! And if you're white, you just temporarily sacrificed your whiteness to defend what was right, and now you are seeing a piece what that whiteness shields you from. Idk how else to put it.

Now what?

Well first, this shouldn't make you go "oh well there's no point in fighting racism bc they're so mean." Why do you want to identify with the people who just acted like that lmao. Antiracism is hard, but the right thing isn't always easy. Stand up and dust yourself off, soldier.

Take the steps to protect yourself. That might be a break from socials to decompress. Block people as necessary, use the tag blocker thing.

Recognize that you are not in the wrong for wanting this harm to be accounted for. If this person didn't want to be seen as a willful racist, they should have chosen to do better. They didn't want to, they chose to triple down on their racism, which they are now aware of doing! They just don't care. And that's not within your control. They wanna be a racist, let them be treated like one!

"Curate your space" as they say, and recognize that antiblackness is going to have you potentially removing folks you thought were cool left and right. You might see some people close to you show their true colors. It's time to make some tough personal decisions. I can't walk you through that. But I don't want to be around people who treat antiblackness with apathy, because birds of a feather... 👀

I obviously didn't cover every single scenario here. And this is only *my* way of dealing with these things (if I do at all, anymore). Some folks may go about it differently. But yeah, in summary, go in to point the racism out, and don't let the response determine your self value. 👍🏾

[mumms-the-word]

Gale's Netherese Orb

The Condition and Symptoms

You asked for it! You're getting it! Yet another deep dive, this time about Gale's orb functioning as a chronic impairment/disability and the ways that a cure is dangled in front of him and even withheld from him.

Disclaimer: a lot of this has already been discussed by lore-wizards like galedekarios or mezzziah and some information is going to come from actual-lea's wild playthrough of the Gale Origin where they didn't give him any magic items just to see what would happen (which I recreated quickly in my own game to gather screenshots and gifs of my own). I'm not going to tag any of them because I don't want to bother them, but if you want even more lore, you can and should check them out!

We're going to look at Gale's orb "condition" in three phases: the effects of the orb on Gale's body itself, the ways that he has to treat it, and the potential cure for the orb. Because my deep dives always get a little out of hand, I’m splitting this into 3 posts. So you can take and leave whatever you like, but I'll link the masterlist to all 3 parts here once I have them posted!

But without further ado, let's deep dive!

I've said before that Baldur's Gate 3 is ultimately a game about cure—finding a cure for ceremorphosis, specifically. Every companion is facing a (potentially lethal) forced transformation into a squid creature in seven days or less unless they find a cure. At least, that's what they think before they realize that their tadpoles are special. On top of that, several characters, including Gale, especially Gale, are also dealing with additional chronic conditions that they wish to cure.

Let's set aside the search for the tadpole cure for a minute and focus on Gale—his character arc, his goals, even the text for his questline. The moment that Gale steps out of his pod on the nautiloid, he has a twofold goal: find a way to cure or treat the hungering orb in his chest and find a way to cure or stop ceremorphosis, in part because turning into a mind flayer may destabilize the orb, thus making the orb the bigger or more significant problem for Gale personally.

In other words, on two fronts, Gale's entire plot is concerned about curing a chronic, potentially lethal condition (or two), but the orb is the bigger issue between the two. Turning into a mind flayer is one thing, turning into a cataclysmic explosion that could "level a city the size of Waterdeep" is another.

The Wizard of Waterdeep Objectives - Escape the nautiloid I was an archmage - powerful, proud, full of potential - until my failed attempt to impress my lover, the goddess Mystra, left me with a volatile 'orb' of Netherese-corrupted Weave in my chest. Keeping it stable is difficult at the best of times...and these are far from the best of times. I've been abducted by mind flayers, infected with one of their tadpoles. So far the orb appears unaffected, but I can't count on that for long. I need to get back to Faerûnian soil before it begins to hunger.

Despite being infected by illithid tadpoles, Gale's larger concern is that staying in the hells will make feeding the orb difficult. When he gets off the nautiloid, he's worried that turning into a mind flayer will completely destabilize the orb. It's his primary concern and will continue to be so throughout the game.

Narrator: Despite your recent fall from the nautiloid, you are miraculously unharmed. Apart from the volatile orb of Netherese magic buried within your chest, of course. It stirs softly. Soon it will hunger, and when that time comes it must be fed. Starve it, and you risk triggering a cataclysmic explosion of raw, unfettered Weave. Such an explosion will be unavoidable, if the tadpole in your skull triggers ceremorphosis. An outcome definitely best avoided.

So, yeah, the squid thing is a problem, but Gale is definitely more concerned about exploding. But exploding and "hungering" aren’t the only things the orb does to his body.

I’m going to break down the actual condition into three smaller segments: the words Gale uses to talk about his condition, the physical effects that Gale describes happening to him, and the mechanical gameplay effects. I’ll talk more about the actual “hunger” of the orb in part 2 when I talk about its treatment, in part because the hunger and the treatment are both magical effects and are intrinsically linked. But for now, let's start with a look at how Gale talks about the orb.

Call it a Condition

To start off, Gale describes having the orb in his chest along the same lines that people might discuss chronic impairments or chronic illness. It's not a minor "issue" or a "problem" that is disconnected from Gale's body and physical/mental health; instead, he calls it a "condition," a "malady," and even a "chronic impairment." He couches the condition in terms that evoke illness and unwellness.

Gale: You see, I have this...condition. Very different from the parasites we share, but just as deadly. Player: What kind of condition? Gale: The specifics are rather personal, but suffice it to say that it is a malady I have learned to live with - though not without some effort. Player: (Durge) You also feel disgust by how life, miserable as it is, insists of persisting in this most wretched world? / (Tav) Is it contagious? Gale: No, no - nothing like that. Though if I fail to treat it then the consequences would not be contained to me alone. Player: Can it be cured? Gale: No, it cannot be cured. And I assure you I've left no page unturned in reaching that conclusion. I can keep this condition under control, as indeed I've done for a significant amount of time, but that was under different circumstances altogether. Home, in Waterdeep. What it comes down to is this: every so often I need to get my hands on a powerful magical item and absorb the Weave inside.

Player (Ranger): I think I might have a dock leaf in my bag, or some medicinal berries... Gale: Thank you for the offer, but the treatment for my condition is very specific.

Gale: The reality of the matter is that a lone wizard with a chronic impairment such as my own is not in the most ideal of situations with regards to self-defence.

In Gale's first conversation with the player about the orb, which is where all of the above comes from, he uses language related to illness and chronic pain/impairment to discuss the orb. It's a "condition," it is a "malady" that requires "treatment," it is a "chronic impairment," and so on.

Generally, at first, he speaks lightly about it and even continues to joke about his condition ("my tower in Waterdeep has never been so free of clutter" and so on), but the reality is he's underplaying the actual physical toll it takes on his body. When you ask him what happens if he doesn't consume any artifacts, he'll briefly describe some symptoms to you that aren't obvious to the player character. Which brings us to...

The Physical Symptoms

This is how he describes the initial physical symptoms of the orb's hunger:

Gale: I'll spare you the finer details, but it begins with a simple biological deterioration. Muscle spasms, disorientation, a slight ringing in the ears. And if left for too long...catastrophe.

In other places, we see the orb's hunger/pain also affecting his ability to think clearly, suggesting he's experiencing a kind of brain fog or concentration issue, plus general discomfort, and a feeling like something is gnawing at his insides, as seen in various lines below.

Gale: You'll have to speak slowly. I'm finding it quite difficult to concentrate with my condition gnawing at my insides like a teething displacer kitten. Gale: Somehow the second artefact hasn't had the effect of the first. It's somewhat relieved the discomfort, but I fear my hunger hasn't quite... Ahh...* Gale: But... this doesn't feel quite right... It never feels right, but it relieves. This doesn't relieve... Ahh...* *devnote: Near the end of the line he's in discomfort, in pain

This is all from the second artifact conversation, when you give him the second item to try and feed the orb's hunger (the last line is a lower approval/you've-been-begrudging-about-items kind of line, so he's still being closed off with you). When you hear these lines in the game, he's obviously speaking with discomfort and with difficulty, as if trying to string words together despite the pain. His little comments as you travel with him/as him while he is dealing with arcane hunger also reference weakness, pain, and concentration issues.

- I'm feeling rather unsteady... - Deep breaths, Gale. Hold it together. - I'd be rather enjoying this journey, were I not wracked with pain. - One step in front of the other, Gale. - Ugh, I feel rotten. devnote: Slightly pained/struggling with a constant ache (the orb is negatively affecting him, causing him pain. Prompt is to remind the player that Gale is unwell.) [mumm's note: there are other lines as well, beyond these, and Gale will say them at random, so there's no progression into better or worse. This is just a sample of the lines.]

Given everything so far, I suspect the pain he feels is a combination of heart/chest pain, like one might feel during an anxiety attack, a POTS flare-up, or even a heart attack, while the gnawing sensation could be like hunger cramps (or any other internal cramping, though I think for Gale it feels higher up in his body than in his stomach, given the orb's location).

I highly suspect the orb is feeding off of not only his magic, but his body as well. We know it feeds off his magic specifically (more on this in the other two parts, especially because this detail doesn't come to light until Gale meets with Mystra). But given the pains and the way he frames his condition as a state of deterioration, it's likely that it's also feeding off energy stores and other biological/physical elements of his body, not unlike how extreme hunger can cause your body to essentially eat itself—your fat stores first, but eventually even your muscle tissues and other vital tissues.

(I've seen someone suggest this is why Gale has "dehydration state" chiseled abs like movie stars have because the orb is literally eating away at his fat/energy stores and so on. It's a compelling theory!)

The orb also weakens him, likely causes massive fatigue, and even seems to be draining his "spirit" or his mental capabilities. We see this in descriptions of Arcane Hunger (which are below). It's a wonder this man can put one foot in front of the other if the pain is particularly bad.

In addition to all the other physical symptoms, the orb itself has physically scarred his body with the marking on his chest, which is also bruising pretty significantly (though this "bruising" could just as likely be dark-colored magic just beneath his skin, your headcanon/mileage may vary).

Photo credits: @elspethdekarios, though I cropped them down for this deep dive

If you click on the images and zoom in, you can see how the markings have a bit of depth and texture to them, as opposed to the flat lines of a tattoo. The lines are carved into his skin. Certain lighting will also make the mark look darker or lighter, and make the bruising at the center faint or noticeably dark. There are some theories that the bruising gets worse as the game goes on, but I think it's just a lightning issue (though it would be interesting if the bruising gets darker with each new level of arcane hunger, or something to that effect).

Lastly, and I'll discuss this more in part 2, even when the orb does not actively pain Gale, it "stirs." Other references from the narrator reveal that the orb "shudders" or "prickles" within him. Gale can feel the movement of the orb inside his body, possibly like a weird fluttering or vibration in his chest. It's likely why, even when he isn't actively hungering, he'll put his hand over his chest and adjust his shoulders, as if reacting to a strange and slightly uncomfortable sensation within his chest.

Anyway, long story short, the physical symptoms of dealing with the hungering orb are:

Biological deterioration (like hunger, the body consuming itself, muscles weakening, etc)

Muscle spasms

Disorientation

Ringing in the ears

Difficulty concentrating/brain fog/mental fatigue

Cramping and/or chest pain

General discomfort and pain

Physical fatigue/feelings of weakness

Scarring and bruising from the orb itself

A sensation of the orb "stirring" even when not painful

And this man will joke about it.

Honestly, his ability to joke and discuss his condition with humor is a sign to me that he really is experiencing and thinking of the orb the same way people with chronic conditions think about their pain or illnesses. At the start of the game, Gale's condition is incurable—Gale says as much himself that it "cannot be cured." It can only be managed, treating the symptoms and diminishing the pain, rather than completely eradicating the impairment. Gale likely has a new scale for pain, the same way people with chronic pain do. A "bad day" for him would likely end most healthy, normative people in a clinic hoping for some prescription pain medication, whereas he will just grit his teeth and keep going. In short, saying that the orb is a "chronic impairment" is a bit of an understatement, and I don't think people realize just how much Gale is/acts like a person dealing with real-world chronic pain or chronic illnesses.

Gale is used to this pain, though he certainly isn't enjoying it. Have you ever persuaded him to wait before giving him a magic item? If your persuasion is high enough (and he likes you), he'll give a cheery "of course!" even though treating the pain is obviously the preferable path here. When he reminds you of his need for an item, as with the "teething displacer kitten" line or the "My condition likes being ignored as much as I do," he still conveys these lines with a mix of urgency and dark humor. He's dealt with this condition for a year or more. You might be testing his tolerance by withholding items, but he's not going to let on just how badly he's actually feeling.

This is the man who will uncomfortably laugh and say "Gods, this is bloody uncomfortable," while the orb in his chest is running a high-grade POTS flare-up and consuming his innards. That's what we call an understatement, Gale. He could complain a lot more, and far more loudly, but he's actually keeping it quite restrained, as people with chronic pain often tend to do.

So anyway, if you ever hear anyone complaining that Gale complains about his magic orb condition too much, ask them how much they'd like walking around with heart-attack symptoms for a few hours at a time. But let's move on!

The Gameplay Effects

Now that we know what the orb does to Gale narratively, what does his condition do to him mechanically in the game? Because, unlike with Karlach's unstable engine or Shadowheart's incurable wound (other examples of chronic pain/disability in the game), the game adds actual debuffs to Gale's character that can affect gameplay and battles. Therefore, leaving Gale disabled with pain also, in effect, disables the player's ability to play the game (or at least hampers it).

In the game, there are three stages of Arcane Hunger. Most people generally don't go beyond the first stage, because why would you let Gale walk around with a debuff of any kind if you have a locket of dancing lights you'll never use? But if you continue to ignore him (or, if you're playing as Gale, and willfully choose not to consume any items) then the Arcane Hunger will progress to Greater and Severe Arcane Hunger, bringing even more serious debuffs to his character.

Arcane Hunger - Condition Gale's spirit is being drained. He has disadvantage on Constitution Saving Throws. Greater Arcane Hunger - Condition The Netherese Orb in Gale's body is weakening him. He has Disadvantage on Attack Rolls and all Saving Throws. Severe Arcane Hunger - Condition The Netherese Orb in Gale's body is severely weakening him. He has Disadvantage on Attack Rolls and all Saving Throws. His movement speed is halved.

Casual reminder that Constitution Saving Throws generally affect concentration, which is needed to maintain spells that last for more than one turn. This goes back to Gale's concentration/mental fatigue when he's initially hungering. When the hunger progresses, however, Gale is physically weakened and the game makes it so that he's more likely to fail savings throws or attacks.

Trying to normally play as Gale with these debuffs is basically an exercise in resigning yourself to missing attacks frequently and failing literally every saving throw (this includes disadvantage on saving throws in dialogues as well). He's still playable, since Magic Missile never misses and you can work with spells that deal damage even when an enemy passes their saving throw, but he becomes even more of a glass cannon than ever. If he's not at the back of a fight, he goes down pretty quick.

Once you hit Severe Arcane Hunger (which I hit after only 6.5 hours of rushed gameplay, though you could probably hit it sooner if you were zooming through a bit faster than me) you're also forced to walk everywhere. Gale's movement speed is halved. The distance he can move in a single turn is drastically shorter than usual, and his speed is no faster than a casual walk. Anyone who has tried to move while encumbered knows this same walking speed debuff.

So the game literally takes Gale's chronic impairment and makes it disabling to both him AND you controlling him. No one really wants to play the entirety of BG3 at a walking pace, after all, so it forces you to make a decision—will you finally treat Gale's condition, or will you grit your teeth and bare it, like Gale does with his pain (though it's nowhere near close to the same levels of discomfort).

Typically a companion Gale will just leave if you refuse to give him any items and he progresses to the stage where he's at Severe Arcane Hunger. But if you play as Origin Gale, you can keep playing with Severe Arcane Hunger until, well, his condition literally paralyzes him and then he withers away, apparently dying of necrotic damage from the orb (I’m assuming here, because the log doesn’t specify what damage causes Gale to wither away, and he exudes a necrotic damage aura once he’s dead, which happens whenever he dies anyway).

Gale withered away. Gale lost Condition: Gale is Paralysed. Gale received Condition: Gale is Paralysed. [mumm's note: obviously this is listed in reverse order, because Gale becomes paralyzed and then withers away]

It appears that if left untreated, Gale’s biological deterioration reaches a point that it literally shuts his body down completely, and then he just...dies. I imagine that physically the orb has eaten away at so many of his vital tissues, including his internal organs, that everything just sort of ceases to function. He's corrupted from the inside out, and nothing but death and a quick resurrection can reverse those effects.

It's worth noting that if you choose to do this experiment with Origin Gale and don't feed him a single magic item, then Elminster won't be waiting for you to arrive in the Mountain Pass or just outside the Shadow Cursed Lands if you travel through the Underdark. Since Gale hasn't been managing his symptoms, he hasn't realized that the various items he's consuming aren't having any effect. Therefore, he isn't actively looking for a new solution to treat the symptoms. Since he isn't looking, I guess Elminster never thought to make himself available with the new solution?

Honestly, why Elminster doesn't show up is kind of a mystery. Gameplay-wise, I assume it's that Gale's quest didn't progress enough to trigger the game flag that would spawn Elminster. But lore-wise or narratively, it doesn't make sense. Mystra sends Elminster with both a command and a temporary "cure," so is she just waiting until Gale realizes his symptoms can no longer be managed? No idea. Maybe I'll explore it more in Part 3.

Anyway the point is that when an untreated Gale reaches Moonrise without talking to Elminster, the game (and his condition) shuts him down. When you revive him at camp, Elminster conveniently appears to give him Mystra's command to sacrifice himself at the Heart of the Absolute and stabilizes the orb at last.

But there's a catch.

Elminster Aumar: A shame that we did not cross paths sooner. The orb's thirst for magic is now quenched, yet it already inflicted some damage while you tried to forge ahead. The ill effects may linger, I'm afraid. Not enough to hamper your mission, I hope.

I believe this can also happen with a companion Gale, but I'm not sure about the specific parameters of triggering this. Regardless, as actual-lea has observed in their No Gale Dinner experiment, if Gale has regular Arcane Hunger then Elminster stabilizes the orb and all is well, but if he has Greater or Severe Arcane Hunger, then the damage the orb does to his body becomes irreversible. After Elminster stabilizes the orb, in this scenario, Gale is left with a permanent "Arcane Hunger" debuff, the same as the above, where he suffers disadvantage on constitution saving throws. This time, you can't consume items to make it go away, and nothing will cure the debuff. Gale just permanently has it for the rest of the game.

(It's worth noting that you can also kill Elminster while he's talking with Gale, thus preventing him from stabilizing the orb with his magic and from telling Gale he needs to sacrifice himself. This sort of breaks the narrative for Gale and results in some wonky dialogue chains that do and don't flag correctly, but the interesting outcome is that it means you can continue playing the game with Severe Arcane Hunger, which is now also a permanent debuff. You can consume magical items before the Elminster visit, but never after. Even if you kill him, you lose the ability to consume items, which means it is officially impossible to manage Gale's symptoms. You just have to deal with the halved walking speed and disadvantage on everything. And you can complete the game that way, if you have the patience! But it would be a very long game. I would know. I've done it and I was rushing like a maniac lol)

Anyway this is getting super long, so I'll end with a few wrap-up thoughts.

Final Thoughts

Having played as Gale with Severe Arcane Hunger for several hours in the game, I think Gale honestly downplays just how bad the pain and debilitating effects of his condition really are. As I was going through the evidence, I kept thinking about how there are so many different elements of pain, discomfort, fatigue, and general unpleasantness that are all part of Gale's everyday life. Even when the orb is stabilized or not actively hurting him, he likely still feels it moving in his chest and I imagine there are chronic effects that stabilizing the orb couldn't exactly cure, like lingering fatigue (and we wonder why Gale complains about his knees and wanting to take a rest and so forth).

Ookay the knees thing might be unrelated to the orb but I digress

Dealing with that much pain and internal corruption is a state of living that most people wouldn't want to stay in, and Gale is no exception here. He wants to stop the pain in his chest, just as much as he wants his former abilities and magical prowess to return. These things are connected, which I'll talk about in part 2. But without hope of a cure, Gale is forced to deal with his condition as a process of managing symptoms, creating a treatment plan that involves him consuming magic from magical items just to get a bit of relief.

But that, my friends, is where we'll pick up with Part 2 - The Hunger and the Treatment.

[sadlittleratboy]

People always seem to think Tomura is shy and like...I just can't see it. He has this unwavering confidence in himself, paired with just generally not giving a fuck what people think.

I mean, he's not smooth or cool by any stretch of the imagination, but he also wouldn't try to be. He's a weird NEET that doesn't like people much. You knew you were signing up for. Tomura would probably have to be pretty comfortable with you to develop feelings anyway, which means you two are way past probably everyone saw it coming before he worked out what it really was.

Also, you definitely don't get special treatment over the league. You're just as important, of course, and likely a member of the league yourself, but he cares about his people. He probably takes care of you the same way he does them, just buying you random things and lurking around you like a cat. In that same way, he trusts in your skills, and isn't any more protective of you than he is the rest of the league, unless you genuinely need it. He's strong enough to protect you, so it's not a big deal to him.

Tomura doesn't flirt, but if you're the shy type you probably will wish he did, because instead he just looks at you and says whatever he's thinking. "You're kind of needy, not that I mind." "You make such a cute face when you want attention." "I know full well you know the controls, but if you need an excuse to sit in my lap then I'll teach you again." He will tease you whether you're a boy, girl, or other. It doesn't matter if he's the top or the bottom in your relationship, or if you're bigger than him (which let's be real, he's a 5'9" twink weighing in at 130 pounds, so it's likely that you'll be bigger in some way). He's just like this. Honestly he's not teasing you on purpose, this is just how he shows affection. These moments are unprovoked, and impossible to see coming.

He doesn't really talk much, but he will listen to you go on for hours about whatever you want, joining in only if he has something to say. He likes sharing space with you. Quality time and casual touch is important, so it may come off that he's possessive, but it's actually the opposite. He's not the jealous type, because he trusts you. He's also not really likely to notice any flirting (towards either of you) unless you tell him, and even then you would have to ask him to deal with it (or the person would have to be clearly bothering you) for him to do anything. God help you if you're the jealous type.

You can't really embarrass him either. If you try to tease him by asking why he's done something romantic (romantic for HIM, anyway), he'll simply say it's because he wanted to, or he'll straight up say it's because he likes you. "I did it because we're together. Isn't that obvious?" That doesn't mean you can't make him blush or fluster him, though. Tomura isn't used to affection, much less anything unconditional. Compliments, sweet words, and physical affection that you initiate are bound to get to him, but the most effective is just simply taking care of him. If you make sure he eats or take care of his injuries he kind of forgets how to do anything other than nod. He's flustered and overwhelmed with affection, and the best part is that he's AWFUL at taking care of himself, so you can do this as much as you want honestly.

Generally Tomura would be a good partner. He notices things about people and remembers them. He takes care of the people around him and considers their dreams and wishes. He's not a normal boyfriend by any means. Dates are rarely an outside thing, because even with hiding his appearance he just doesn't like being around people, but you still spend a lot of time together. He's not good at communicating the way other people do, but he does communicate. Sometimes he's genuinely lost as to how to help, especially if you're upset about something, but he WILL try.

Also arguments wouldn't be that difficult to solve, because he will straight up state his issue, and if it gets too heated he'll just walk off and come back when things have calmed down. He doesn't work up easily (we can see this with how patient he is with league members, so a pre-league Tomura might be a little worse in this area), and would rather just talk and find a solution. We don't see him yell often, so I think he probably doesn't like to, but also won't let you yell at him either.

Basically you're dating a loser gamer with zero shame and so much love for you, and that loser also just so happens to be Shigaraki Tomura, one of the largest villains in Japan.

[minus-plus-zer0]

Getting a Dog With Bakugou Headcanons

You're probably dating or married when you pop this question.

And you better believe Bakugou won't even broach the subject unless you ask it first.

"Can we get a doggy? Pretty please?"

You're giving him your classic puppy-dog eyes that he's seen from you a million times before.

And if you get a dog, he knows he'll have to deal with twice the amount of begging.

He wants to say yes to you, but no to the dog. That doesn't make sense at all, but he just really hates saying no to you.

He is just not too fond of dogs, cats, humans, living creatures, inanimate objects, etc. He's a hard sell on everything in life.

He's not 100% against the idea but he'll hear you out because he'd hate to disappoint you. Honestly, he'd rather be shot than see you upset.

However, you also care way too much about Bakugou, the love of your life, so you take the time to convince him rather than inundate him with pleading that will inevitably wear his defenses down. You want him to be happy too!

You point out all the helpful things dogs can do, all the tricks they can learn, the jobs they can get, and the competitions they can win.

Bakugou really likes that last one! You know the boy like the back of your hand.

You point out some of the stronger and sturdier dogs because you know that's more up his alley, but your heart is calling you to the smaller, sweeter, and funnier dogs instead.

Bakugou says the latter types of dogs remind him of you, and you hope that this is a compliment!

(It is)

You go to the shelter to rescue a little fella. It's hard to say if you'll find a dog that simultaneously is in desperate need of a good home while also is capable of doing all the tricks Bakugou wants to teach it. A lot of dogs here have their own issues to go through before even thinking of doing something like competitions, so you text your friends in the Bakusquad to encourage them to adopt the ones you don't pick.

Somehow, you find the right dog for you both.

It's a corgi!

You had a lot of dogs you wanted, but it was really hard to pick. You suggested a Pomeranian because it reminded you of Bakugou, but he shot the idea down solely due to your reasoning. Now that you think about it, maybe it was better that you didn't get a Pomeranian. After all, with Bakugou in your life, having another Pomeranian would just be redundant.

Bakugou doesn't like that line of thinking either.

So your corgi will suffice for now. You're not sure what jobs he can get, but he is definitely good for competitions. You've seen some intense corgi racing on the track before. And although corgis are inherently goofy creatures, Bakugou could at least appreciate how helpful they were. He still had a problem with the little guy's overly judgmental face though.

"What are you staring at?!"

"Aw, don't worry honey! Maybe he just thinks you look cool?"

Once you brought the dog home, the little guy was excited to explore the place. You made sure to get some good step cushions so he could hop onto the couch without hurting his legs or back. You gave him all the food and love he could ever ask for, and you even researched online how to prep your own homemade meals and treats for the guy.

Needless to say, Bakugou was jealous.

"You've replaced me for him!" he says.

He's not wrong. He's currently looking at you in bed cuddling your corgi, who happens to be taking up his spot.

"That's just how life goes sometimes, Katsuki." You shrug in defeat.

Bakugou growls at the dog, who growls back.

The dog is super biased. The dog loves you way more than Bakugou, like by a mile.

You can't have them growling at each other all the time so you hold regular bonding sessions for the three of you to get along.

So now when you make something special for the dog, you end up making a nice baked good for Bakugou too!

But then Bakugou feels guilty seeing you cook so much, so he ends up making something for you as well, and that's how you end up cooking dinner like 3 hours earlier than usual.

When you cuddle with your dog, you're also cuddling with Bakugou who's got his arms wrapped around you while you three watch TV or something.

Bakugou really likes it when the dog growls at the TV. It's like the dog hates whatever is currently being shown.

"Yeah yeah, don't worry you damn dog. I hate this shit too."

While you're away, Bakugou teaches the dog tricks like "Attack!" and "Explode!". The dog is learning much more than it ever wanted... but at least they are becoming quite talented!

If your friends ever get their own dog, Bakugou will have to challenge their dog to a Pokemon battle at some point.

But the best times are when the three of you go on walks through hiking trails. It's something you all can enjoy.

When you finally find a beautiful, scenic view above the entire city, your corgi curls up around your legs and Bakugou kisses you on the forehead. He lingers for a moment to watch your reaction to the view of the city he's given you, and you tell each other for the millionth time you love one another.

"Thank you so, so much for showing me this place, Katsuki!" You squeeze him tight. He squeezes you back, not letting go.

Now he's really glad he didn't say no to you. Maybe one day you'll get another dog...

Then Bakugou will get triple the puppy-dog eyes!

[moodymisty]

Hi is it fine if I can request hcs for the primarchs reaction to their wife/beloved praising another primarch particularly Vulkan because she admires some qualities about him

Author's note: Sure fam, enjoy!

Warnings: GN!Reader for everyone, Unhealthy levels of jealousy lol

Vulkan doesn't mind at all if you compliment one of his brothers. He has a healthy degree of trust in you, and he knows that a compliment is just a compliment. If you praise someone like Konrad he might try and help you understand that he isn't someone you should praise, but he doesn't blow up over it.

Guilliman doesn't mind, unless it Sanguinius or Horus. A part of him feels like compared to them he doesn't really measure up, and he so might get a little aloof if you really go off on praising them. If you so much as mention their looks, you might not see him for a bit.

Corvus gets less so jealous and more so aloof. He sees in the other primarchs traits he himself lacks, and if you point them out, sometimes he feels like it's just pointing out his own flaws. He can see why you're complimenting Vulkan though, so he can't get too upset about it.

Konrad gets unfathomably jealous, unless it's Sanguinus or Fulgrim. He knows they're far better than he could ever dream to be, and that of course you'd love them. Anyone else he will want to punch wants at the mere thought of you thinking about them, but those two he's fine with.

Ferrus could not give a shit less. You're his beloved, anything you say is just a baseline human kindness. Besides, no matter how much you say you've made it more than clear he's your primarch, jealously doesn't strike him often.

Perturabo gets unfathomably jealous. His selfworth issues are massively pushed onto you and if you compliment any of his brothers, he goes red in the face. Why do you see that as worth complimenting? Why are you saying that to DORN and not him!

Dorn couldn't give a shit less. He's not Perturabo, he's got shit to do and doesn't have time for all this jealous nonsens- hey, why are you looking at him so softly?

Alpharius/Omegon don't mind. If anything, they almost seem to like you compliment their brothers, they find it weirdly amusing. And also you'll more than likely hear it come up when they bring you back to the Hydra and prove they are more than worthy of your compliments as well.

Magnus doesn't really mind too much unless it's something that he feels competes with him. If you compliment Vulkan on his altruism, he doesn't mind. if you were to compliment Lorgar on his psykers and their abilities, then he gets a bit jealous.

Lorgar hides it, but he's the worst one at it out of the bunch. He'll tell you oh yes, he agrees that Vulkan is so kind to his people, through gritted teeth with neck tight enough to make his veins pop.

Mortarion takes any compliment you give another primarch very personally. Just don't do it, unless you want to deal with an angry, sulking, pouting primarch for the next few days.

Jaghatai is relatively well adjusted, so if you make compliments to another primarch he doesn't care. He likes Vulkan, the man shares a lot of ideals he does, so if anything he is somewhat glad you see the same positives in him.

Lion does not like it, at all. You are his, why are you going around trying to seduce his brothers? (no he does not get that compliments do not always equal seduction).

Angron doesn't give a shit. Compliment them, he doesn't care, whats it matter to him? Though you might be best off if you said something nice to Angron himself after, he would enjoy the feeling even if just internally.

Fulgrim doesn't mind, at least somewhat. Compliments about how Vulkan is a kind man don't bother him, but if you get into the realm of compliments about how he is so kind to you, how you're surprised he hasn't found a beloved because he's quite handsome, then Fulgrim gets jealous.

Sanguinius doesn't mind externally. He's an amazing pretender. Inside, he's super jealous. Sanguinius has a deeply hidden possessive streak and it comes out whenever your eyes leave him for more than a bit, including when you're just saying how well Dorn did building the palace, or how kind Vulkan is. He's kind, it's nothing special...

Horus is like Sanguinius where he doesn't mind externally, and is very good at hiding it. He'll laugh with you and perhaps even agree. 'Yes my love, I don't think many others could have a heart as big as his,' He'll say, while inside he is vehemently, horribly jealous, like a rage boiling up in him.

Russ doesn't really care what you say, it's more what you do. If you just tell Vulkan he's a nice guy, Russ couldn't give a shit less. If you smile at him, (that's the smile you give him, stop that!), shake his hand or touch him in some way (now you're going to smell like him, disgusting) then Russ is going to be upset.

[saltpepperbeard]

so, hastiness of the sex and the literal and figurative distance that follows aside, something was really bugging me about the morning after. i couldn’t put my finger on it for a while, but now that i’ve sat with things, i think it’s finally clicked in my head:

stede’s reactions to ed’s sweetness. or lack thereof, really.

because goodness, they just slept together. they just bared body and soul to each other. they just survived a dangerous situation and made it to see the sun rise once again. they’ve been through so much, and faced so much adversity.

and despite all they’ve been through, ed is kind. ed is thoughtful, and soft, and sweet. he brings stede breakfast in bed. he tries to make it as pretty as he can. and then weaves beautiful gratitude and admiration in the form of his goldfish tale.

something that should make anyone sigh with fondness, really. something that make eyes flutter with hearts to match.

…and yet.

and yet stede reacts almost…casually to it all. not glittery how he was at the end of episode 5, for example—so warm and so bright and so very clearly in love. it all felt a bit more…stunted? reserved? unnecessarily curt?

and upon sitting with it as i said, i have two lines of thought, two theories.

one, it’s a sort of look into the heightening poison in his system, the good ol’ villain that is toxic masculinity. he feels the need to perform around ed, to be a man worthy of his love. he feels the need to be more than just “adequate,” more than just an “amateur.” and so he feels the need to be more masculine as a result. he’s not quite at his peak of course, not quite in the absolute thick of it—he still has moments closer to himself throughout the day. but the more poisonous seeds have been planted.

and what does that sort of masculinity often lead to? reserved emotions. stunted reactions. you’re not allowed to show vulnerability, or softness, or anything of the sort; you’re expected to be just a wall of strength and flat composure.

which, also, would align with the show: ed actively tries to combat that mentality in the morning. he straight up tells stede that the man who saved him was a fantastic, orange, sparkly mermaid. not some swashbuckling hero. not some colder, mysterious, more reserved man. but a beautiful, soft, dazzling goldfish.

and stede sort of just shrugs it off—turns it into a “well i hope we’ll both get through the violence” as opposed to realizing that ed is complimenting his true character.

but that brings me to my second theory: maybe stede reacts the way he does simply because…he’s never been loved like that before. he doesn’t know what to do with it. he’s never been brought breakfast in bed before, and now there ed goes doing so for him.

he seems to be fine when he's the one in the driver's seat. like, he's very romantic when he's dealing out the romance. but the second it's turned back on him, he can't seem to conceptualize it, even when it's coming from a man he knows he's in love with. like, ed complimenting his shirt led to a more incredulous reaction. ed saying that stede wears fine things well also led to a more incredulous reaction. and like...

"then you shaved your beard off...for me?"

he just can't grasp it. he can't grasp something so new and foreign to him quite yet. and it's of course also wrapped up in a lot of self-worth issues, because how can anyone love him when he really doesn't love himself (which i think is also the same for ed. help them. HELP THEM)

you just...can't catch a fish unless the fish wants to be caught.

[victorie552]

Ok, so Noldolantë, "The Fall of the Noldor" is a lament composed by Maglor about what happened before, during and after First Kinslaying at Alqualondë. It's such a good song that it's played regularly in Aman and Valar listen to it often (I swear, I swear it was in the Silmarillion I just can't find it now).

It's also a more or less common fanon that Maglor continues writing Noldolante through the whole First Age. Makes sense - it's about fall of the Noldor, and Noldor did a lot of falling back then.

Headcannon time: So my first thought was that Noldolante must a long, long, long epic of a song. So it probably has many parts, right? Iliad has 24 books/parts, somehow I think Noldolante would be at least just as long, and there are longer epics. And again, just like Iliad, unless you're a scholar, in the daily life you don't really listen to/read the whole thing, just reread and repeat the most dramatic fragments. What I'm trying to impress upon you all is that the story would have different segments, or chapters, if you will.

And if Maglor continues to write the story during the FA, there would absolutely be a moment in the lament where the OG Noldolante becomes Noldolante 2, and even Noldolante 3. There may be the same musical motif or something, I decided that Maglor IS that good of a bard to keep it all consistent enough so you know it's all the same story, but the style changes a lot - it's been 400 years in the making, let The Music Elf have fun!

So, Point 1: Many, Many Parts, basically Maglor's FA WIP

My second thought was that, while Feanor invented his alphabet, elves learned their history mostly through oral tradition aka songs and spoken stories. Noldolante is definitely a historical record, where a historical event was archived for future generations.

(It was a also a way to deal with grief, guilt and blame Maglor and all Noldor have faced regarding First Kinslaying - free therapy! But that's not what this post is about)

Archived.

My 2.5 thought was that Noldolante isn't just recallings of how pretty and horrified the beach looked during the murdering or how mad and sorrowful the sea was at everyone during the voyage or even how awesome and charismatic Feanor looked during his speeches that every single Noldo was ready to fight Morgoth barehanded in his name - no, this is a record of who killed who, who got killed by whom, and how.

Noldor and Teleri knew each other (were friends, even!) before the First Kinslaying, so I'm confident that after a lot of interviews, detective work, and cross-referencing, Maglor could and would create a very good... name list. Practically every Noldo and Teler present during First Kinslaying would get a stanza in a song, more if he killed someone, most if he killed many people. Killers and killed would show up twice, first in a fragment listing the killers and their victims, then in a part listing the victims and their murderers. Basically it's the same thing twice, but from different POVs. With when, where and how included.

(It was seen to be in bad taste to compare kills during Maglor's Regency, when most of his interview-part work happened. People did it anyway. There were a Saddest Kill, Funniest Kill, and Weirdest Kill discusions. There was a Tier List. These were weird times to be a Feanorian Noldo.)

(It WAS in Bad Taste, but at least people talked about it. I cannot stress enough how much free therapy this lament provided)

(Little did they know, when Teleri started getting reembodied in Aman, they had very similar discussions, but more in a "I can't believe he killed me like THAT" way. Long, long, long after the First Age. Noldolante is a gift that keeps giving)

So, Maglor had all the historical grith and no common shame to create a "We Killed All These People And We Feel Bad About It" banger of a song, and every Noldo had a very personal reason to at least remember the fragments they are in. It's a hit on a scale never seen before.

(I'm not sure how to tackle the issue of Nolofinweans and Arafinweans learning about Noldolante after crossing the Ice. But there were discussions. There was anger, there was "????", there was controversy. Basically, the song got bigger and bigger rep no matter what your opinion on it was. By the time of Mereth Aderthad it was an important cultural and political piece and at least Fingon's forces were included in the main song. It had parodies.)

Point 2: Archive Function/Kill count storage. Cultural phenomen, every Noldo included

This is where my personal nonsense begins: Main Noldolante was done, there was nothing more to say about First Kinslaying, all killings and deaths were well documented.

But the Siege started. And the Noldor kept dying.

It was less dramatic than it sounded - between the big battles the siege was maintained, but orc raids also happened and sometimes one to few Noldor died in skirmishes. The legal procedure was to document the death of a fellow elf and send a word to king Fingolfin. The cultural procedure, technically started by Feranorians but adapted by many more, was to send the name, common characteristics and cause of death to Maglor's Gap. After few months, King Fingolfin would send reinforcements, short condolences and financial compensation if they had family. After few months, family of an elf would also receive a personal lament for them and a place for them in a Noldolante.

Yes, every lament Maglor created in that time was technically part of the Noldolante. Noldolante 1.5, if you will. Laments make in that time were very customized, and simpler than Noldolante Main, but were still considered a part of the same song. Of course, nobody was expected to know and remember laments for every single Noldo, younger Noldor born in Beleriand could even only know fragments about their family members. Only Maglor would ever know Noldolante in full, but it was understood that everyone had their place in The Song.

The results of Great Battles were harder to document, but Maglor did that. Of course, Dagor Bragollach was hard on him personally, but he worked his way through.

(High King Fingon forbade creating laments for his father. There were no songs for Fingolfin. Apart from in Noldolante, of course. Of course. Maglor did not share the lament with anyone, but he sat long hours and many nights with a blank paper before him, looking at the candle flame and thinking of the past and the future. The song unsung, but there)

Nirnaeth was... Maglor was never more hated and more approached at the same time than then. Still, Noldolante grew and grew, as if people knew the end was near.

It was Second Kinslaying that destroyed the myth of Maglor's song. Feanorians didn't know the Sindar they killed, but surely, they couldn't just left their names unmentioned like they did with orcs? So, Noldor talked, but the battle happened in caves - it wasn't uncommon to find dead bodies in empty rooms, with no witnesses to what happened. Surviving Sindar didn't want to share any names, even when Maglor strong-armed some into talking with him, and good for them. Maglor made a big lament anyway. Maglor, wild, with no shame and dead brothers, with legacy crumbling around him. Noldolante, with holes.

After Third Kinslaying, Noldor didn't want to talk. Lament for Sirion didn't have any names. Clearly, songs weren't a way to go anymore, it was always about live witnesses. And so Maglor raised the twins.

Lament for Maedhros was sung repeatedly. There was no one to hear it.

Point 3: Only Maglor knows Noldolante in full. But that doesn't matter, because everyone knows the important part: the Noldolante is finished. The Star of Hope rises in the West and the story goes on. The Fall has ended.

[moonsaver]

Hi! It’s @pix3lplays! (On anon because I have another account and I can’t switch which account I’m asking from haha)

I wanted to say thanks for being so nice when I responded to your comment on one of my posts~I really appreciated what you said hehe, definitely made me feel bit more confident and inspired me to keep writing :)

So I thought I’d throw an ask out since requests are open~

If you’re not interested no problem but I’ve thought about it a little and I thought maybe you’d have some thoughts.

Yandere!Sunday when his darling somehow gets seriously hurt, how do you think he’d feel, what would he do?

Personally I think he’s a complete control freak already when it comes to reader, so it just gets WORSE…ANYWAYS I wanna hear YOUR thoughts if you’re interested in the prompt hehe~ also if you’ve already talked about this oops I must’ve missed it, sorry in advance-

But yeah thanks so much, it was really cool to talk to you, take care of yourself, please!!

Hello Pixel! Thank you for sending in this ask, you're very sweet haha <3 i like your writing and im glad i helped you become more confident in it. Also,same issue here, i cant send asks from this account specifically, so i use anon or just use my personal blog to send asks.

Anyways, onto the request,

Ooh, my Yan!Sunday brain is ticking.. he really is an absolute control freak, and is a bit of a mess when he sees you seriously injured. A miscalculation, ignorance, negligence, or perhaps just.. an oversight from his part? Whatever the reason is, he's in high-drive now, and absolutely stressed about it. He only has a worried and distant look on his face, and at this stage he's prone to easily snapping at anyone, but his mind would be on a completely different level of stress. How dare they? How dare anyone lay a filthy inch of a finger on you? To stain you with their sins, and to breach your skin in such a grotesque manner.. he's absolutely enraged.

He insists on tending to you himself personally, unless it's so serious paramedics have to be involved. Stays by your side until he cant, sitting on the egde of the bed, body turned halfway to face you, fingers ghosting the edge of your face with tenderness.

However, this tenderness is only limited to your recovery period.

After you wake up or recover a bit, practically any freedom you would have had is gone. Completely.

Scolds you, borderline yells at you, holds you still with a deathly tight grip on your arms, forcing you to look into his eyes. This happened because you left. This happened because you were out of his watch. This all happened because of your freedom. Don't you dare even bother mentioning going out anywhere. You will be surveillanced almost all the time. He spends a suffocating amount of time next to you, harshly spitting back whenever you try to protest or reason with him. His words aren't gentle at all, and you're getting on his nerves. Perhaps he should just look over you himself, force you into a borderline coma in the dream fluid, and deal swiftly with the perpetrators.

Robin catches wind of this at some point.. she tells you that he's just worried, and there's a lot of people that don't quite hold The Family in high regards. Just.. its okay. Let him do this.

Let him pick out your clothes, brush your hair, check your healing wounds, gently ebb the water over them as you bathe, and kiss the skin of your shoulder when both of you stay silent after another argument.

If you still continue arguing.. he doesn't have a choice. He slumps a bit, a hand coming up to massage his temple as he sighs, and tells you in a softer voice that he's terrified. The worst thing that could happen did happen. He almost lost you. Can't you just go with it and let him be assured? You're dragging it out much more than it needs to be. He's spent many sleepless nights, ideas of dreamscapes turning into nightmares as the image of your hurt face flashes in his mind. Just cooperate, for Aeons' sake.

And no one speaks after that. He emotionally blackmails and manipulates you as a sort of final resort. Surely, you'd understand. It's not like it's far from the truth anyway. He is scared. But more than that, he's enraged this happened in the first place.

Adding on more to it,

Once things calm down.. in a twisted sort of way, he realizes just how perfectly he can get you under his complete control from these events. He may even not so subtly orchestrate similar events to scare you, to keep you in check, forcing you to rely on him completely, as he swoops in at the right time, acting as some kind of a "savior". Its a sick mindset, and he's not ashamed of it. Oh dear, you were just so pleasantly compliant after that event. And it just solidifies his statement that you shouldn't be going outside anymore, or be constantly accompanied by the Bloodhound Family guards, after only a few incidents of various threat levels.

In the end, it's a cycle that repeats up until you finally give in and let him take any and all freedom you have. He sets down your hairbrush with a gentle 'clack', kisses the crown of your head, and tells you it's alright. He will take such good care of you. Just listen to him. Listen to his every word. He has your best intentions in mind. Don't think about anything, anyone. You're a smart girl, surely you understand?

[krispycreamcake]

hihi could u do sakamaki with like a former (or current!) idol s/o? also i LOVED your x reader fic i think ive read it like 3 times 😭😭

From author: OH MY GOD THANK YOUUUUU I APPRECIATE THIS SM

Sakamaki brothers with an ex idol s/o

Shu Sakamaki

🎻- I don't imagine he's the type to keep up to date with pop culture or any celebrities nowadays. He'll know some mainstream artists simply for the fact that he literally can't avoid hearing about them

🎻- Unless your music is suuuper popular, he has no idea who you were

🎻- Now depending on why you stopped being an idol, this could be a good thing since he wouldn't recognize you and have assumptions about you

🎻- Now on the off chance that he DOES know who you are, he'll either tease/make fun of your style of music or compliment you

🎻- I beg, do not take his mean girl bs to heart, this man listens to classical music, he of all people shouldn't be judging anyone's music. Ever

🎻- He'll definitely ask you to sing for him just so he could hear your vocal range (perhaps for other reasons than just curiosity)

🎻- Now when he does inevitably realize you were an ex idol, his immediate question is why'd you stop even though he won't voice it

🎻- He'll be glad that you told him as it relieves him of the hassle of getting in your personal business

🎻- As your boyfriend, his top priority is keeping you alive and safe, and trust that he knows how creepy fans can be. Which is why when you're out in public, he makes sure to always know where you are 24/7, keep your face covered with either a scarf or a hat or even his chest

Reiji Sakamaki

☕️- I'm sorry to all you Reiji fans out there, but his top concern is the fact that you both are involved romantically

☕️- Now I'm not saying he doesn't want to be in a relationship and all that, but similar to Shu he knows how obsessive fans can get and is slightly worried that because of that, you'll eventually find out who or what he truly is

☕️- And the only reason I say this, is because of the influence his father has due to how well known he is throughout Japan, and if anyone were to connect the dots and realize that Reiji was his son, with sufficient research, certain things mightn't add up (well that's his biggest fear at least)

☕️- If anything, he's proud that you were able to make something of yourself with your musical talent unlike a certain someone

☕️- The obvious question is why you stopped being an idol, and not like his brother, he'd outright ask you what happened

☕️- He'd do his own research on you and wouldn't even realize that he's spent about an hour and a half looking at fan pages of you and your official website

☕️- When he does realize however, he'd get slightly embarrassed by the fact that he was infatuated by a screen version of you when he has the real you at his fingertips

☕️- If you didn't tell him you used to be an idol and he had to find out on his own, he'll think you're hiding other important parts of your life from him and he'd have a bit of an issue trusting you

Ayato Sakamaki

🏀- Yours truly is dating and idol?? Of course he's bragging to his brothers any chance he gets

🏀- Jokes about how you meeting him was destiny since he wouldn't like his s/o being fawned over by the entirety of Japan

🏀- Asks you about your experiences as an idol, like if you ever had any creepy fan interactions, your type of fan base, how dealing with your managers used to be

🏀- Just know that both Ayato and Reiji are on their s/o's wiki page late up at night (day?)

🏀- Is honestly in love with your stage costumes and absolutely adores your choreography (I have a small hc that ayato can breakdance so he has an appreciation for modern dance styles)

🏀- Gets extremely jealous and annoyed that you used to be shipped with any other pop idols

🏀- Remember that wiki page thing I mentioned earlier? Yeah he'll see the recommended search being "Are your name and random idol dating?" And literally never recover

🏀- "Who do those bastards think you belong to? Ore-sama's your one true match so those other fuckers can piss the hell off!"

🏀- Badly imitates your performances as a means to make fun of you but you always end up laughing with him by the end of it and even joins him

Laito Sakamaki

🃏- He probably knew you were an idol before you did honestly

🃏- Okok jokes aside, he knows who you are and if you think you can lie to him about it, he WILL find a way to contradict you in your own lie

🃏- Honestly, he sometimes even listens to your music

🃏- Laito pegs me as the type of guy to let all your fans know who you belong to

🃏- BEFORE YOU BLOW MY HOUSE UP, yes, I am aware that that's more Ayato's schtick

🃏- But hear me out, if you were Laito and you were dating a super hot, super talented ex idol, would you not leave hickeys in places all their fans could see?

🃏- Think of all the drama you could cause, hearing all their futile guesses on which famous idols could have done it

🃏- He would have a fielddddd day with you, listening to all the gossip about the kind of person you are when he knows none of it is true

🃏- Like all others, he's painfully aware of how weird and obsessive fans can get, so he takes time out of his day to scour the sketchiest of accounts making sure none of your private info is leaked

🃏- He follows you around like a lost puppy just to make sure you aren't idolnapped

🃏- Genuinely sings your songs really well and has at home duets with you

Kanato Sakamaki

🧸- I don't think he keeps up with pop culture THAT much, but he knows general artists

🧸- When he finds out who you are (if you decide not to tell him) he would be pissed ngl

🧸- It's not like he's just a random stranger that you just met, you're supposed to love him and trust him with any and everything

🧸- He'll probably ask you to do some dark twisted thing to prove yourself to him

🧸- He's so in love with your style, like he WISHES you were still an idol so he could sew your outfits

🧸- Actually scratch that, he still makes them for you when you need to do a random ad that a company paid you to do

🧸- He treats you as his own personal mannequin

🧸- From hair, to clothes, to makeup, to nails, he'll do it all

🧸- He asks you to sing with him and it's become his favourite activity

🧸- Sitting on the balcony edge at night with no one to disturb the both of you as his hand cradles yours, your both voices singing in absolute harmony, he physically cannot get enough

🧸- "Mother would make me sing until my vocal chords bled, I doubt you had to do anything as extreme, right doll? Besides, I'm the only one who should be causing you pain."

Subaru Sakamaki

🥀- I know he doesn't look like it, but he's very up to date with pop culture

🥀- He could spot you instantly in a crowded room

🥀- Yes, he's one of your biggest fans ever

🥀- He literally knows the lyrics to most of your songs and would sing them at karaoke

🥀- If you don't mention that you're an ex idol, he'd be glad since that gives him less of an opportunity to embarrass himself

🥀- Stays up thinking about how he's literally dating his idol

🥀- This however makes him wayyyy more of a tsundere than he already is

🥀- He'll act like he knows absolutely nothing about you but somehow knows your favourite colour, animal, food and whether you prefer coffee or tea

🥀- Yeah he will pretend he's never heard of you before but you'll soon catch on when you hear him humming one of your songs when he doesn't think anyone's around

🥀- The only person that can confirm your suspicions are Shu since it wouldn't be the first time this has happened

🥀- Once everything was out in the open, he'd slowly become just a tiny bit more confident in himself and ask the age old question "Why did you quit?"

🥀- Gets jealous with how many of your fans are freaks that make thirst edits of you

🥀- Please reassure him that he's enough for you

🥀- When you're dating a literal pile of talent, you begin to second guess yourself

[johntayjinf]

i caved in and bought renoise

also sorry tumblr i constantly delete this because i have way too many mixing hiccups to fix... was being too hasty haha

for a tracker with daw features like track mixers, vst support, automation, filters etc., it's pretty impressive what you can do with it. finally i get to do hq music without having to wrap my head around more conventional daws; i like the inconvenience of modern tracker interfaces myself, actually.

the first time i had to arrange for something hq like this, the biggest obstacle and wake-up call i had to face was the fact that uh, my mixing skills weren't up to snuff. fixing it was a nightmare. biggest thing i didn't know at the time of arranging was that sidechaining the bass was really important, otherwise the bass drum (kick) wouldn't be heard and be overpowered by the bass. this was pointed out to me by a server member of ours, lolwe. they've been mixing for about 7-8 years and counting so they understand it pretty well... and actually the final mix was made just this morning to actually fix the entire mix lol.

other more minor mixing issues were ironed out with eq-ing, which i have a bit of experience of, though it was pointed out by dinebon_, yet another (new!) server member, who was primarily a bassist. they also pointed out some unwanted dissonance i had put in for the arrangement.

i understand that mixing is pretty much subjective and everyone does it differently, but it should be worth pointing out that there are some rookie mistakes that someone like me _can_ make. i may be a good arranger but this mix wouldn't have sounded better if it weren't for people giving me advice and pointers on how to fix things. i definitely think that getting input from a variety of artists who have different strengths helps to put a mix together and give listeners a more comfortable listening experience, so from now on, i'll be at the very least, sidechaining my basslines with the kick for better mixing. sorry if this doesn't sound great for everyone lol

the vst i used on the other hand, has _a lot_ of technical problems.

i think we all here love the sound canvas series of midi synthesizers, but i unfortunately do not have the money to buy the physical hardware (yet), so i stuck to the roland cloud sc vst. god, it is a terrible technical mess...

obviously the sc is sampled beautifully, and is iconic in the video game music world, but how the hell do you mess up a vst _this_ badly? it has _inverted stereo_, which is, a fad from waaaaaay back when. i'm happy i got to simply fix this through audacity but good grief, man. i had to export each instrument one by one just so i could identify which instruments were cancelling themselves out on mono and which ones weren't. genuinely horrifying stuff. there are also the in-built low-end and high-end boosters, but what about the mids? i'm going to assume that it's just a feature of the time but god i honestly wish they added middle frequency knobs. not that i can't fix that with eq post-production, but i'd rather not do that (especially for the main melody) unless if the problem really is a big deal. again, i love the sound canvas, but i wish that the vst were better; the technical problems i had to work with ended up souring the experience. i wish people could actually fix it some day and turn it into something greater. i'll likely use the vst again but i also want to mix in other instrument and sample libraries as well!

in the meantime, this arrange gave me a crave for kirby again. i love kdl3 sm, it is my favorite game of the gb - snes era of games. idk how but jun ishikawa writes these intoxicating songs for kirby and i am just left to rot listening to them. they are waaaayy too good.

[miraculouslbcnreactions]

¿You know what i've seen?

I think that hawkmoth could have worked out better as a villain if he was part of a rogues gallery instead of the sole villain in the show.

¿Opinion?

In order to explain my feelings on this, I think we have to discuss why you use rogues' galleries. There are three main reasons and I'm not sure that any of them apply to Miraculous.

Reason One: Diversity

Probably the biggest reason why rouges' galleries see a lot of use in superhero shows is because they allow for different types of fights and plots. Since we've been using Kim Possible a lot on here and it has a rouges gallery, let's quickly use that as an example.

Kim Possible has a lot of villains, but the three ones that show up the most are probably Duff Killigan, Monkey Fist, and Dr. Draken so we'll use them as our examples. Dr. Draken is a scientist who is there for plots that require evil science. Monkey Fist is an evil martial arts expert who is there when the plot requires magic and martial arts. Duff Killigan is a mad Scottish Golfer who acts as something of a man for hire, doing a lot of kidnapping and theft on behalf of whoever is willing to pay him.

Those are three unique roles and skill sets. It makes sense why Kim Possible would want all three of these villains and why the writers would bring in other villains when there's a plot that doesn't fit one of these three because they certainly don't work for every plot you can think of.

Miraculous doesn't have a power/skill gap issue. The butterfly is so ridiculously overpowered that you can use it for basically any plot that you can think of. It's a rogues' gallery generator! Need a new villain? Here you go. That makes it hard to imagine what the other villains in the rouge's gallery would look like. There's just not space for them to uniquely fill unless you nerf the butterfly.

Reason Two: Recharge Time

The second reason why you might want a rouges' gallery is to allow the various villains time to plot. This is mostly a thing when you have complex villains. For example, if Lila was allowed to be an actual master manipulator, then she'd need multiple episodes to set up her various plots. While she's doing that in the background, Ladybug and Chat Noir would need other threats to face down.

Gabriel isn't a complex villain who plots. He's incredibly opportunistic and his powers let him create a new threat with barely any thought, making this yet another reason why I don't see a rouges' gallery working. There's just no good reason why Gabriel would take a day off. He's set up as the kind of person who would make akumas on a regular basis. If anything, it would be kind of weird for him to sit back and risk letting someone else get the miraculous. That kind of behavior doesn't fit him.

Reason Three: World Building

The final reason why you might want a rouges' gallery is to establish why the heroes are needed and to let them occasionally fully win. This is probably the only one that Miraculous would clearly benefit from. Our heroes go five seasons without ever doing anything proactive because they can't because that would end the show since there's only one villain. This makes the heroes look inefficient if you think about it for more than five seconds. It would be nice to have some smaller villains around that they could defeat in order to establish that they are good at their job.

That's not the only way this one works. It also serves to explain why the heroes need to stick around. If new threats are always popping up, then defeating the current big bad doesn't feel like the end of the story. It just feels like the end of a chapter. You expect there to be more big bads because the world is full of threats and so of course a new one will come along.

That's something that Teen Titans does really well. Every season has a unique big bad, but there are also a lot of other, smaller villains around for the Titans to deal with in one-off episodes. It makes them feel like a strong team who is truly needed by their city. It also makes the big bads feel like more of a threat because the Titans are clearly good at their job. If they're struggling, then things are serious.

With Miraculous, we get none of that. The show is a compelling case for the destruction of the miraculous because, as far as the show is concerned, the butterfly is the source of all the world's problems. No butterfly, no magic threats. At least, no magical threats in Paris. New York seems to have their hands full!

Final Thoughts

I do think the show would benefit from a rouges' gallery. Unfortunately, the issues we discussed in the first two reasons make it really hard to fit the needed rouges' gallery into the show. The best you could do is maybe have threats in other parts of the world that the heroes occasionally go help with or have an intro season or episode without the butterfly and end that with the butterfly becoming active now that Gabriel has located the ladybug and the black cat. You can't have a serious threat in Paris while Gabriel is active because Gabriel would always show up to participate in the fight in order to try to get the miraculous and, at that point, why bother designing other villains when akumas fit the exact same role? The only benefit it would give is making the miraculous feel like a value-added thing for the world and the show does not care about that type of quality world building.

You might be able to do something with Lila where she's threatening the heroes on the civilian side or with Tomoe where she's doing something evil with tech that the heroes sneak in to stop, but that's not really a true rogues' gallery. Those aren't threats that only Ladybug and Chat Noir can stop and that's the type of threat you want for a rogues' gallery.

[lukola92]

So personally, I think that there was issues between Nicola and Luke after the London premiere. I see that because she left the after party before he even got there. Then She went silent on social media. And before people comment, I know she was filming, but she was filming big mood and Bridgerton was still active on social media. We also during those early summer months she would post but she would not post her face and definitely not as much as we are used to. Personally, I think was deliberate. Clearly they somehow have made up. Or they've at least talked Because she's posting him again. And I also think she will slow down with how much she posting cuz things are slipping she showing her hand to much. And now we're getting all these songs. I also do not think that it's for Eamon or Jake. Those songs are definitely Luke coded. I think that they still have a lot to work through. But he needs to fully get out of this situation that he's in. Also, I've seen on TikTok people are mad because he's not posting a lot what do you guys expect him to do? He post you to say it's not enough. He doesn't post you say is not enough. No matter what move he makes right now people say crap to him. a lot of men I know are not big on social media. They might have one the post once in a while. They might call some videos. But they're not spending hours online looking for things the way women do. They could also be one of the reasons he didn't see this girl deviousness. I'm hoping he's seeing it now. They've all been so quiet because they're dealing with it BTS. Because since Italy, we haven't seen no pictures and we've seen pictures all summer long. Then that whole group is moving weird. Then all being quiet and S rearranging her post with her and her boyfriend being the main photos. Like I said I have a gut intinct that somethings happening. One last thing, we have all known that she leaks things to fan pages I'm 95% sure she does that. we also know that things were leaked to DM so it's not far off that things would be leaked to fan pages. so right now unless you see actual proof, don't believe anything anybody is saying. Because if he is trying to get away from her I have a really hard time believing she's going to take that lying down. She's going to try to create problems for him. And it's just so funny that we're starting to see all of these pages say that they're traveled alone (when fan pages have called that out) or talk of them getting married. It's wild rumors let's not fall into her traps. She gotten good with getting under the fandom skin.

I think that, after London N and L were ready to try to stay together, unfortunately third parties have ruined everything and L had to accept to be seen for a while with A, to protect N and not make her appear as the one who had made the "gf" betray, for sure N will have been sick but also L and we saw it clearly from his face, both have been sick these two months, but once L returned from Italy, he realized that he can't go on like this, for me he will have immediately gone to talk to nic (probably the day of the toast story) and N from that day on, has returned to being more social, returning to give us clues clearly referring to L, in italy, L will have been angry because private things came out and because they probably posted stories with the location and he didn't want it .. I think he got angry with everyone .. if you noticed the like that N gave today to chappel roan you will understand that she is tired of both her and L no longer having any privacy .. A is desperate and continues to do strange things but she hasn't understood that she is about to disappear because she is nobody, she will have to learn from her mistakes sooner or later, right? N is the only one we have to trust, I've always said that!

[badbatch-badfics]

Tech x Male Mandalorian Reader; Kar'taylir Darasuum Gar

Characters: Mainly Tech, little snippets of the rest of the Batch.

Relationship: All platonic buddies, except for Tech near the end.

POV: 2nd (you/yours)

Pronouns: He/him

Species: Unmentioned, but you have a normal "human" head (so no horns, lukku, etc.)

Content: Angst to fluff, get really hurt (literally) and then comfort. You're an idiot who can't confess unless their life depends on it.

Warnings: Description of injury and cleaning wounds(ish). Some throwing up blood ig. Cringe lol

Notes: Fem aligned and/or women can interact, but please be respectful. This is a MLM x reader fic. Don't be weird. Thanks. "Kar'taylir darasuum gar" means "love you" in Mando'a- I couldn't find the equivalent for "I." Also- I’m in the progress of making a version for each Batch member 👍

Word count: 5,364

You sat in the co-pilot’s chair, arms crossed and leaning back.  Tech sat in the pilot’s chair, tinkering with some self-made miniature droid.  Everyone else was asleep, Echo in his hammock, Hunter, Wrecker, and Crosshair each in their respective bunks.  The ship was decently quiet, except for Wrecker’s occasional snoring, which, honest to Kad Ha'rangir, sounded like a Venator class star-destroyer powering up.  Contrasting the man’s tremendous snores, the hyper-drive produced a nice and constant low hum, with beeps sounding out every once in a while.  Tech’s screws and wrenches would clang out, and the sound of sparks would startle you into a more awake state each time it occurred.

Although there was no way he could know, seeing as your helmet was facing directly out the view-port, you were staring from the corner of your eyes.  Hard.  The way he effortlessly moved his fingers across the droid, connecting and severing wires from point A to point B, or how the golden sparks would illuminate his face and reflect off his goggles, casting a beautiful glow that you simply couldn’t get enough of.  Truthfully, you couldn’t have been more grateful for your helmet and culture, knowing full well he would have caught on to your… tendencies, and quick, if you didn’t wear it- bearing all your embarrassing expressions out to the world.

You knew it was bad to be feeling like this.  They were in the middle of war, which was no time for romantic relationships.  And, truthfully, you didn’t even know if Tech, or anyone else, liked you.  For all you knew, they simply had high tolerance for annoyingly secretive men they were assigned to work with.  You had always avoided questions about the culture you grew up with, obviously always avoided taking off your helmet, and hardly took off any of your armor- even when it came time to sleep.  Which must have been unsettling for them, or anyone, really, you were sure.  Someone who was highly skilled in fighting, but never took anything off, always electing to remain in the armor that was most certainly not a comfort to sleep in.  And, clearly, the fact that, out of nowhere, the Republic had hired and assigned you to them.  They had every reason not to trust you- or to, at the least, not like you.

And you had no clue what to do to lessen that mistrust.  Telling them about your culture was out of the question- you couldn’t deal with the…issues revolving when, if at all, anyone would be close enough to take off your helmet.  they might think they were close enough, but you didn’t.  Or, even worse, you might think you were close enough, but they didn’t.  And, Kriff, if they caught on to you hypothetically taking off your helmet more around Tech than the others, they would easily piece together your feelings.

But, hey, maybe you were wrong.  Maybe they found you at least somewhat amusing, somewhat useful, somewhat not a nuisance.  And maybe, just maybe, Tech would even feel the same way.  Doubtful, but since when was love logical?  A beep came through, pulling you out of the deep pits of overthinking and alerting Tech.  He lifted up his head, temporarily setting down the project.  Tracing his fingers over the wheel and control-panel.  “We have almost arrived.  Would you go and wake up everyone?”

You stood up, stretching your arms as far as they could go, audibly groaning.  “Sure thing, boss.”  You first walked to Echo, shaking him gently.  He was an easy sleeper, after everything.  Hunter could sleep well once he was in it, but otherwise, his enhanced senses made it difficult.  Crosshair was easy enough, not incredibly difficult, but you wouldn’t wake him up by simply walking around either.  Wrecker, on the other hand, slept like a rock.  You found out within the first week of your stay that his brothers would simply punch Wrecker in the shoulder, hard, to wake him up.  Hunter had explicitly granted you permission to do the same.

That being said, you wound up your arm before slugging Wrecker square in the shoulder, earning a startled grunt from him.  Once he registered what was happening, he lopsidedly smiled and mumbled a good morning of sorts.  After the four men were awake, you headed back to the cockpit, electing a chair further in the back so they could all sit closer- a common practice.  Hunter gave the mission debrief- same old, same old.  Just beat up a bunch of droids, and nothing special about this mission.  Echo and Hunter had a smaller, but more advanced battalion of droids to defeat within the building, so they needed to go radio-silent.  Crosshair and Wrecker would take a larger battalion, as would you and Tech.  After everyone was 100% certain in their role, everyone split up.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Kriff, this was not going well.  Blaster fire everywhere, explosions left and right, and the only Batch member you could see was Tech, double-blasting his way through any droid he saw.  You used a batch of whistling birds, each miniature missile hitting its mark.  Not that the few dozen marks did much damage against the entire droid battalion circling you two.  You reached for the pouch on your hip, which carried the multitude of bombs and droid poppers necessary for war.  Much to your dismay, there was only one bomb left.  And for better or worse, it was a giant bomb.  It would be incredibly difficult to evade- for both you and the droids.  It was designed with the intent of being far above the enemy- not 10 feet away from them.  But this was your only chance- if you could pair the main explosion and send out half a dozen droid poppers while the rest of them were distracted- it would be a victory.  And perhaps if you could run fast enough, dive, and get as many droids behind you to take the majority of the impact- perhaps you’d make it out relatively unscathed.

And, not that in a million light years would you ever admit it, the most important part- Tech would be safe if you pulled off this stunt.  You’d be able to get rid of at least one third of the droids with the large bomb alone, and sending out droid poppers in every direction during that opening would eliminate, at minimum, three quarters of the remaining droids.  All in all, Tech would have only a handful of clankers left, he would be safe, and the mission objective would be claimed as a victory.  Might as well.

“Run south!” you shouted over the blaster fire, instructing Tech.  For a split second he thought to question you, but decided against it.  He knows what he’s doing, and there’s no time to object, he concluded.  Tech sent a nod your way before running, still blasting his way through what was close.  As soon as he was out of range, you pulled the bomb from the waist pouch.  Maker, did you hope this will work.  You stared at the bomb, hoping you would be shown mercy, as if the bomb was a sentient being capable of choosing who to blast and who to not.  With a remorseful sigh, already having spent too long wondering and not doing, you reared your arm back and threw the ball as far as physically capable.

As soon as the sphere of mass destruction left your hand, you bolted- sending out droid poppers in different directions every few seconds, hoping to any god or higher being that they would take the majority of the impact, and not you.

Unfortunately, any and all higher beings seemed to be tastefully against you today.  You felt the heat and force before you heard it.  A stinging sensation sprung throughout your entire body, sending you crashing forward, groaning.  Apparently, you were not far away enough, and there were not enough droids to take the majority of the impact.  Kriff.  There was an excruciating ringing in your ears, or head-?  You weren’t sure, but it was loud and annoying as hell.  The last droid popper rolled from your palm, effectively killing off the half-dozen clankers headed over.

Although it was primarily obscured by the horrendous ringing in your ears, you could pick up faint sounds of blaster fire and metallic bodies hitting the ground.  You shakily got on your hands and knees, one arm clenched tightly over the stomach region, and lifted your head, groaning.  Although it was incredibly difficult to make out in this delirious state, you saw Tech running towards you.  He’s safe, was all you could think.  The mission was a success and he was safe, what else could someone ask for?  With that, there was no longer any reason to stay awake.

You promptly collapsed onto the cold ground, rolling over, hand still clutched.  You were coughing up blood, which just fell back down to your helmet and mouth, casing your cheeks and lips.  “Y/N!” Tech yelled, attempting to keep you awake and responsive- not his most successful attempts. You felt him lift your body upwards, examining the damage.  A shattered off droid piece had pierced through your abdomen, front to back.  Blood coated your armor, turning it from (color) to a dark ugly mess of browns and reds.  His eyes trailed over you, ever worried.  He and his brothers had never faced such an extreme injury, except for Wrecker’s large scar on his head.

“I need to take off your helmet.  I can hear you coughing up blood,” Tech informed.  You attempted to push him off, delirious of the extremity of the situation.  You were not ready to cross that bridge yet.  Tech felt bad, he did.  Even though he couldn’t possibly understand why a culture would not allow someone to simply remove a helmet, he would respect it, and he would respect you.  But in a situation like this, it truly didn’t matter.  If your helmet didn’t come off, you'd drown in your own blood before dying of the shrapnel was even a possibility.

“That was not a request, it was me informing you of what I’m going to do.”  You wanted to give him a smart-ass response, truly, but you couldn’t speak coherently, let alone think of one.  Accepting defeat in this minor battle, your head lolled back into his palm, coughing once again.  He placed his hand under your chin, just on the edge of the helmet, and carefully lifted.  The helmet hissed as he pulled it off, and your eyes squinted harshly at the bright light, now surrounding you from all sides, not just the visor.  This was not how you wanted him to see your face.

Tech grimaced.  Clear from the blood and sweat caking your mouth and cheeks, you had already coughed up a large amount of blood, and he highly doubted it’d be stopping anytime soon.  “Okay…I’m going to move you to that rock over there- you need to be more vertical than horizontal if I am to treat your injuries.”  A mumble was the only response he got.  Tech put his hand on your back, roping underneath your arm.  Using his other arm to support your lower back, he lifted, and despite all his effort in being gentle, it didn’t do much.  Even though the rock in question was only, at most, twenty feet away, it seemed like an impossible task.

With each step, despite Tech supporting the majority of your weight, it felt like another piece of droid shrapnel shooting though you.  Everything became more fuzzy by the second, dizziness overcoming you.  “We are almost there,” he said, observant of your worsening state.  After what felt like an eternity, you had arrived at the large rock.  He turned you around and gently placed you on the rock, blood coating his armor.

Reaching to his waist pockets, Tech pulled out a pair of tweezers, a large roll of bandages, and bacta-spray.  “I will cut space around your chest plate and clothing.  Do not move.”  You groaned, looking up at the sun.  Perhaps you shouldn’t have done the “throw a bomb and hope you outrun it to save someone else’s skin” plan.  Now you’d need a new chest plate and under-armor clothing.  Fantastic.  Tech pulled out a new set of tools, all to cut the chest plate.  Luckily, the hole was jagged and cracked, so finding a good place to further the diameter would not be incredibly difficult.

Tech carefully pulled out bits of the chest plate, making the hole larger by the second.  Unfortunately, him cutting that close, despite his best efforts, still applied far more pressure than you would like on your wound.  It was not a pleasant experience, to say the least.

“I am finished cutting around the front of your chest plate,” he said, breaking the tense silence.

“Okay…” you breathed out, voice shaky and dry.  He looked at you with pity before quickly tearing through the cloth, all too close to the droid bit.  He noticed your extreme uncomfort, face scrunched up, trying not to cry.  He felt pity towards you, but there was no time for any of that.  If he wasn’t quick and adequate, you could very well die.  Tech’s point was emphasized by another fit of blood coming up, some blood dripping on his armor as your head came forward.

He grimaced, using his thumb in a feeble attempt to wipe off the new blood.  “Can you lean forward while I cut open your back?” he asked, unsure whether or not it would be required to fully turn you around.  “Mhm…I think I can manage,” you mumbled, barely above a whisper and hardly intelligible.  You rocked forward, arms outstretched to hold up your weight.  Tech carefully moved behind you before repeating the process.

Eventually, Tech deemed the cloth and armor to be far away enough from the droid.  He would pull out the droid, then fully take off your armor and clothing, apply bacta-spray, and wrap you up.  Once you were on the ship, he could dig out any excess sharpanel.  Then everything would be fine.  He concluded that the best way to get it out was to not let you know.  He deduced that you were, more than likely, not thinking rationally- and even if you were injured, you were still heavily trained, and he didn’t want to risk you trying to push him off if there was a warning for what was to come.  To be fair, doing it suddenly would surprise you, which wouldn’t be much better, but your reaction time was certainly delayed, so it was still the best option.

“Lean back.”  You obliged, hitting the back of the rock and letting your head fall backwards.  While you were still looking upwards, he gripped the droid piece with both hands.  Pulling hard was most certainly not the best option, but he had already spent too much time clearing the space, and there was no equipment for performing the removal in a safe manner.  You would have to deal with it.

Tech pulled on the droid, and he pulled hard.  Your eyes went wide, and you lurched forward, hands grasping at the wound.  Short, ragged breaths filled the sound of the field, paired with the metallic clattering of the droid being tossed aside.  Tech cupped your face in his hands, looking into your eyes.  If you weren’t in so much agony, you would’ve been a flustered, blubbering mess.  “Hold still and do exactly as I tell you.  I need to dig out the smaller shrapnel, but the bleeding must stop soon.  There can be no distractions.”

At this point, you could hardly respond, choking on any words you attempted to form.  Now that the droid was removed, Tech could slip your chest plate off.  “Put your arms up and do not take them down until both your chest plate and clothing have been removed.”  Vision blurry and shaky, you lifted your arms despite them feeling like a hundred pounds each.  Quickly, Tech pulled up on your chest plate, immediately discarding it among the other debris in the field.  Following immediately after, he lifted up your shirt, slightly more conscious of the injury since the cloth was brushing directly against it.

As soon as he finished discarding your shirt, your hands fell limp once again, and you collapsed onto the rock.  Tech quickly doused the affected area with bacta-spray, not particularly caring if it got it more space than needed.  He needed to be quick, and there would be more time later to fix everything.  He positioned himself behind you, legs wrapped around to give you support as he cleaned the back, making sure to wipe off any large chunks of dirt or pieces of rock.  After your back and front were successfully doused in bacta, he re-positioned himself and you.

He moved about two feet away from the rock, legs straddling your waist.  He had turned you around, eyes meeting each other once more.  Your arms were gripping his shoulders, shaking with every breath.  Tech carefully reached around and grabbed the bandages, unfurling them.  He started at your waistline, moving upwards with each layer of binding.  He would carefully glance over your shoulder and angle himself to see your back to ensure it was all going smoothly- or, at least, as smooth as something like this could go.  The bandages had finally reached above your wound, before reaching over your shoulder for extra support and coming back down for a double layer.  Despite the wrappings having been on for less than ten minutes, the blood was already tainting the once white fabric.

“I am finished,” Tech spoke, finishing off the last layer and grabbing your waist to pull you closer.  He carefully grabbed his comm to relay his position and the situation to the rest of the Batch.  He knew it would have been useless to comm beforehand, as Hunter and Echo were radio-silent while Wrecker and Crosshair were dealing with a smaller squadron of droids.  But now that you were safe- or as safe as possible considering everything- and the rest of the Batch had their objectives completed, he could call them.

“Hunter, I need a pickup at the valley in between the two ridges where the droid squadron was.  Immediately- (Y/N) has been injured.  I have applied bacta and bandages, but it is not adequate.  We must get to proper medical care as quickly as possible.”

“Got it, Tech.  We’re on our way, just hang on,” Hunter replied, voice glitchy and faded out through the comm.  Tech pulled you closer, your head resting on his shoulder.  He placed his hands on your infraspinatus, rubbing small circles in them repeatedly.  The telltale humming of the Marauder approached, blocking out the sun and casting a shadow over the field.  The ship turned to its side before touching down about ten feet away, ramp opening.  Wrecker ran out, panic clearly written on his face.  He slowed down as he approached you, face falling more by the second.

“Wrecker, be careful around his abdomen, that is where the implication occurred.  Do not run or jostle (Y/N) too much, he can not sustain any more injuries than what he already has.”  Wrecker nodded in understanding before gently picking you up, hands under your thighs.  He placed your head in the crook of his neck, out of respect for you never taking off the helmet and hiding your face.  Your arms were draped over his back, bouncing with each step he took, despite the effort to be more gentle.

With a tired groan, you lifted your head up, eyes peering over Wreckers shoulder to be met with Tech’s.  He had stood up and taken off his helmet, the light gray armor tainted and stained with your blood.  You felt the incline of the ramp as Wrecker entered the Marauder, and the sounds of scattered feet and clattering could be heard.  Shortly after Wrecker had entered the ship, Tech followed suit, your helmet and chest plate in hand.  “Tech, what’s the deal with (Y/N)?  What do we need to do?”

“(Y/N) threw a bomb which effectively killed off the majority of the droid army, but was hit with debris in his escape.  He was regurgitating blood and had a large piece of a droid lodged in his abdomen.  I…have cleaned the wound, albeit quickly and not as efficiently as I would have hoped.  Clearly, I have bandaged him and removed the primary source of implication, but did not have time to adequately search through for smaller pieces of shrapnel.  We should not remove his bandages until we are on Kamino.  Someone should be watching him for the duration of the trip until we arrive, and we should attempt to minimize his sleeping until he has proper medical care.”

As Tech explained the situation, Wrecker re-positioned you into a more “bridal style” carrying, before gently setting you down on his bed and slipping his arms out from underneath you, all while avoiding your face.  Your head was propped up on Lula, and Wrecker draped a blanket over your body, the edge draping off the bunk.  He stood still for a second, glancing around nervously.  Tech came up behind him, placing a hand on Wrecker’s shoulder.  “Go in the cock-pit and help with the course.  I will stay here to ensure everything is alright.  There is no need to worry.  If I do require aid, I will request it.”  Wrecker glanced past his shoulder at his brother, sending a short smile of thanks before hurrying off to the cock-pit.  Tech carefully sat down on the edge of Wrecker’s bed, just beside your feet.  The bed made a small creaking noise and dipped ever so slightly.  Tech sighed, back slouching.  He glanced once more at your form, eyebrows furrowed.  You two would be having quite the serious conversation later.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Hunter walked up to the bunk, staring before finally saying something.  “Tech- we’re coming into Kamino.  Take the wheel and comm in (Y/N)’s situation.  I’ll get him prepped and Wrecker will carry him till the medical team shows up.”  Tech nodded in agreement and stood up, walking to the cock-pit.  Hunter glanced down at you, avoiding your face.  He had a few of his spare bandannas in hand, ready to wrap up the majority of your face out of respect.  It wouldn’t be perfect by any means, but any face covering would be better than nothing for you, he reasoned.  Trying his best not to look, Hunter lifted up your head and placed four bandannas on it- two on your forehead, and just one each for your nose bridge and chin.  As soon as your face was covered, he re-angled himself to tie the knot behind your head.

After your face was covered as well as anyone would do while still minimizing the risk of further complications, he carefully pulled the blanket away and lifted you up, cautious of the injury.  He stayed with you until Wrecker and Tech came, the ship having landed.  “There should be medical personnel on their way.  I requested that a droid be the one to attend to (Y/N)’s injuries, but whether or not they listened is… uncertain,” Tech said, glancing over at you, worry evident by the slight crease in his eyes and furrow of his eyebrows.  Hunter was slightly surprised at his brother’s concern for your culture.  There was no reason to explicitly request for a droid, but he did so nonetheless.  Usually, Tech would not have cared for such things- so long as the objective was completed and no-one was severely harmed, what did it matter if some cultural lines were crossed?

Hunter’s thoughts were interrupted by Wrecker picking you up bridal style once again, head draped back and arms dangling.  His loud stomps echoed through the metal corridor, and it was all Tech could focus on.  Which had never happened before- just focusing on one thing and one thing alone.  But here he was, watching Wrecker exit the Marauder, you in hand- unclear if you would survive, and the only thing he was aware of was the echoing of Wrecker’s footsteps, you disappearing along with them.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

Tech waited anxiously outside the med-bay door, leg bouncing up and down.  The halls were quiet and deserted, only a lone wandering Kaminaon or clone every dozen or so minutes.  Tech didn’t know if he preferred the silence or the possibility of crowded and loud halls, people shoving past each other non-stop.  He was fairly sure they were both equally terrible options.  Hunter had stayed with him a while, but he needed to get back to the rest of the squad- Tech didn’t blame him.  He held your helmet in his hands, looking over every detail- every mark, burn, dent, scratch, paint chip, design and patterns and colors- everything.  Although, logically, he knew it was very likely that either you or one of his brothers, or himself, would die in this line of work, knowing about it didn’t quite reach the same levels as nearly experiencing it.

The doors slid open, AZ emerging.  Tech immediately sat straight up, more alert than ever.  Before he could even begin asking questions, AZ began speaking.  “(Y/N) (L/N) will fully recover within about 8 rotations.  He is no longer bleeding and all sharnale has been removed and the wound has been treated.  He is to remain on bed-rest until I give the say so.”  Tech didn’t even bother to respond, all he could do was practically jump into the room and land beside your bed.  You looked up at him, trying your best to smile- he was not amused.  In fact, Tech was at a loss for words.  Tech was never at a loss for words.

Actually, scratch all of that.  Tech had an abundance of words for you.  That much was obvious by the way his face went from “soft and glad you were okay” to his signature “are you kriffing kidding me?” look with an extra splash of anger.  Your smile immediately fell.

“What were you thinking- I mean, you decided to throw a bomb which you had no chance of outrunning and for what?  That was the most illogical and poorly thought out plan I have ever seen, and I have seen some very stupid things.”  It was clear he had more to say, but he figured he’d save it for another time.  Tech glared at you for a second longer before pulling up a chair beside the bed.

He let out a long sigh, pinching the bridge of his nose.  “You…are intelligent enough to have realized the risks.  Just explain why you took such… idiotic ones.”

Silence.  “I…I figured that if… you could get out of range, that would be enough.  I would throw the bomb and get far away enough to survive, taking out any more droids in the escape.  Then, you’d be… fine.  I mean, the odds weren’t exactly in our favor, Tech- we were losing that battle- hard.  We’d probably both be dead if I hadn’t done what I did.”  Tech glanced down, thinking over your words.  As much as he hated to admit it- you were right.  There may have been another way he would’ve come up with to save your hides, but at the moment- your actions did save them.

“I… am sorry I saw your face.  Although I do not understand why a culture would prohibit someone from showing their face- I respect you, and so I do apologize.  If it is any consolation, I requested droids only for the medical staff, and Hunter had wrapped up your face as much as he could.  Nobody really saw your face- just small fragments of it- except for me, obviously.”

You were silent, bandaged and calloused hands wringing around each other.  “It’s… it’s alright.  In my Clan, you are allowed to take off your helmet with… certain people.  Those you consider… close.  You can take off the helmet around those types of people.”  You glanced up, eyes just barely meeting.  He gulped nervously.  No-one outside of his brothers had ever considered him close- and if his hypothesis was right- this type of “close” you were describing was most certainly new- not the type of bond one shares with his brothers.

“Are you… implying that you have a romantic interest in me, (Y/N)?” Tech asked cautiously, as though each word represented him taking another step closer to the edge of a thousand-foot drop.

“Is that alright?” you asked tentatively, turning to properly face him, eyebrows slightly furrowed.

“Well… it is not standard military protocol to… intermingle.”  Your gaze fell downwards, grimacing.  So much for a confession.

Then he continued.  “But we have never been ones to follow protocol.”  Your mouth went slightly agape, and you looked back up at him.  Your eyes met each other, and he smiled.  He didn’t smile often.  Tech reached out hesitantly and grabbed your hand, rubbing circles in it.  You placed your free hand on his, like a weird romantic sandwich, and let your head fall back, closing your eyes in satisfaction.

“Y’know- if I knew all it would take to confess and know you reciprocated was to have a near-death experience, I would've done it way before.”

Tech jumped back slightly- “‘All it would take?’” he asked, mocking you.  His eyes were wide in disbelief at your disregard for such an event.  His face was absolutely golden, and you started laughing- evidently, far too much since within a few seconds you were clutching your side in pain.  Tech now wore a mixture of his “I told you so” and “that was not amusing” faces, judging you heavily.

"Regardless, AZ informed me that you would need an 8-day bed rest.  And as you do not contain your own proper sleeping area, you may share with me.  This way I can closely monitor you at the same time.  It will be greatly beneficial.”

You cocked your eyebrow, looking directly at him.  “If you wanted to cuddle, you could’ve just said so.”

“If you are to keep up this behavior in my sleeping quarters, I will not hesitate to kick you out- both figuratively and literally.  Perhaps I’ll just make your “visiting time” as terrible as possible.  I am not above such actions.”  You scoffed at him, rolling your eyes in a playful manner.

“Here- I made certain that I had kept your helmet.  The chest plate was practically unsalvageable, but it is currently on the Marauder.  Although you are… comfortable without it around me, it seems, I assumed you would want it for the walk back.  Am I correct?”

“You're always correct, and you know that.  Thank you, Tech.”  You carefully slid the detailed helmet on your head, somewhat sad.  Although it was clear that you would need to wear it in the halls and in front of his brothers, you still felt sad you two couldn’t enjoy more time, faces and secrets and emotions and everything exposed for the better.  You let the brief moment of sadness wash over- it was better to be grateful.  I mean, Tech reciprocated!  You couldn’t have asked for anything better.

“Let me assist you in getting up- you are most certainly not fit to walk by yourself,” he said.  You obliged, his arms coming up underneath your armpits and hauling you off the bed.  You quickly found your grounding, and swung an arm around Tech’s shoulders.  You two trudged down the long and barren halls of Kamino until reaching your designated barracks, pausing slightly at the door.

You don’t think you’ve ever felt such joy.  You looked at Tech, dark visor meeting his yellow-orange tinted goggles.  “Kar'taylir darasuum gar.”  Tech knew what it meant.  He didn’t need his fancy language visor to tell him what you said.  You loved him and he loved you.  And that’s all that really mattered.  He smiled at you once more before the door opened, Wrecker immediately shouting in joy that you were safe and sound.  Everything would be alright from here on out, war be damned.