#also you KNOW adam would bail them out i believe this to be true

[cobaltfluff]

happy pride month to them!!

[thetravelingmaster]

Anonymity - Shield or Weapon?

The most common thing among us in this community is Anonymity. We all use it to some degree when indulging our Kinks. Our first and foremost reason to do it is, of course, to keep us safe as we explore this strange and for some, embarrassing kinky world of non conventional arousal. The internet is a heaven for everyone to learn and explore ANYTHING their hearts may find desirable.

Are identities aren't needed to indulge and discover new things about ourselves. You can call yourself Jack, Jill, Fran or Hornybabyslut. It doesn't matter. It helps create a sense of security that enables you to dive into what ever kink you feel you can't indulge in your every day life.

And even if you can indulge IRL and are fully accepted as the kinkster that you are, Anonymity affords you a a free shield for you to protect your wonderful life from the dark and ill intentioned predators constantly surfing the World Wide Web for prey.

Anonymity isn't bad at all. It's recommended.

Exploring and enjoying our different kinks can lead you to wonderful and emotional places. Places you may not go if you couldn't be someone else.

Anonymity is a perfect and accepted shield we all carry.

But it doesn't mean you can't be yourself. It doesn't mean you can't be honest and true with yourself and the people you engage with.

You can call yourself Gina64 and be a full on kinky bimbo slut that talks and acts so dumb and dirty that the people you engage with online think you are nothing more. If that is your way to explore and escape, there is nothing wrong with that. You can become anyone you wish once you fire up your phone or your computer.

That is the beauty of this wonderful and dark internet.

When all is said and done, Gina64 is just a persona you try on. She may or may not have the same beliefs as you promote in your every day life. That's perfectly fine.

Anonymity offers that possibility. That safety...

However...

Anonymity can also be a weapon.

That same safety can protect the bad people that are looking to take advantage of others.

Just like a sword, it can be used to defend and protect as well as divide and conquer. It all depends on who wields it and what they choose to do with the sword in their hands.

My point is very simple: Anonymity doesn't half to mean that you can be 100% yourself.

For the purpose of this post, I'm going to exclude the people that come here to become someone else. It can be a very therapeutic and I definitely not saying that being a completely different person online is wrong in anyway.

Well not in itself...

And that's what I mean. You can play at being fun and fluffy or dark and brooding, what ever fills your cup of tea. As long as you are being honest with yourself about why you are doing it.

The problem I have tonight as I write these lines is when the kink in question involves hypnosis. Not fun roleplaying, but REAL hypnosis and subsequent play.

You have to be very honest and open to engage in that sort of kink and Anonymity can offer you that safe space to indulge from.

BUT ANONYMITY DOESN'T MEAN YOU ARE BEING DISHONEST.

Being dishonest has nothing to do with anonymity and here is an example of what I mean. Say Our Gina64 is into hypnosis. Say she searches out potential erotic hypnotists online to explore and indulge that itch. She can call herself Gina64 and be a dude. It doesn't really matter as long as you are being honest and about the level of things you wish to reveal to the hypnotist.

If you are being honest with yourself and the person you are engaging with, no harm no foul.

But say that Gina64 doesn't want to reveal that he is in fact a guy. It could be fine if the hypnotist doesn't care. But what if the reason you are engaging in hypnosis is to experience erotic hypnosis? And that Gina64 leads the hypnotist on being saying again and again that they are a girl. For all of us, erotic hypnosis in our Kink community is arousing and erotic for both parties. So a hypnotist that decides to engage and offer erotic hypnosis to Gina64 while under the impression that he is a she when in fact they are a HE...

Well... That can create confusing and even dangerous things down the road. If the connection develops and more and more the hypnotist is made to believe in this falsehood, then it creates an invisible rift between them. A very dishonest rift...

A rift that can actually hurt... Especially if the hypnosis kink also includes flavours of Domination and submission. We all know and understand that D/s play can stir up incredibly powerful emotions. As the lies pile on to covert up more lies, the cycle becomes deeper and darker with every dishonest reply.

Until Gina64 finds himself in a position where the lies have boxed him in and he has to bail out instead of admitting to everything he led the hypnotist to believe and experience.

And I'm not even going to talk about people who create elaborate and complex fake personas to actively catfish people...

I'm not saying that all people who indulge in hypnokink and D/s play should always reveal everything about themselves, far from it.

What I'm saying is that you just have to be HONEST as to what type of person you are and what you want to experience. Our community can be very open minded. It's the very nature of our kink.

And anonymity provides the perfect way to be 100% true to yourself without fear or worries.

To properly demonstrate how one can be completely anonymous and still be incredibly honest, I'm going to talk about friend @qu1etsleep.

Theo is an incredible human being and hypnotist that is, like me, adamant about keeping his online life separate from his offline life. He doesn't shy away from telling anyone who contacts him that Theo isn't his real name and that there is no respectful way in hell that you'll ever get a glimpse or a clue as to who he really is.

His Anonymity is a shield meant to keep the lines clear between his hobby and his life. We all do that in some form or another.

I might not know Theo's true name and identity, but I do know that if I were to ever sit in a cafe somewhere and end up chatting with the man behind the blog, then those 2 persons would be identical.

I'd have the same exact conversations and learn about all the exact same opinions Theo and the man in front of me share.

Because even though his name has changed, he will still be the same person. he just changed out his name tag. Nothing else changed.

Theo is authentic with himself and with everyone that takes the time to talk with him. His Anonymity doesn't affect or change that at all. It just offers him the same safety we all crave.

This authenticity is what makes him, in my humble opinion, a terrific and accomplished 'amateur' hypnotist. Make no mistake, he is no rookie and he WILL drop you if the rapport is there. Authentic and Anonymous...

That is what this community needs above all else.

Some of you MIGHT just understand why I'm ranting about all this tonight, and you would be right. I've felt the sting of this double edged sword and it took others to help me see just how far down the fake rabbit hole I had been led into.

But now I'm out, dusting off the creepiness of the experience and moving on.

So by all means, soak yourselves in Anonymity until people in our kink community aren't even sure who you are...

But BE HONEST. And if you do, I think you'll find even more incredible people and exquisite experiences to be had. You'd be surprised how much someone can accept and understand.

As a point of fact, if the person you are trying to let into your mind isn't opened minded enough to accept your own authenticity, then perhaps you should seriously rethink the fact that you are giving them the keys to your mental palace.

There is no gain from being dishonest and stringing people along.

Unless that is the pleasure you are seeking here... If that is the case, then maybe you should start understanding that you are no better than a full blown predator.

And that is something our community needs the least of all.

We are all searching and indulging ourselves in our forbidden and delicious kinks, there is nothing wrong with that.

Enjoy your safe and secure anonymity, but do it responsibly and above all, do it while being honest with yourself and others.

[imjustwritingg]

no doubt in my mind

Happy Valentine’s Day babes! Here’s a fun and sorta fluffy one shot with our favorite couple to celebrate the day. Based loosely on the song “Make You Feel My Love��� by Adele. Enjoy and let me know what you think! 

Also here: AO3 and FanFic.Net

It’s been a month of them and their new thing, and as much as things had changed between Hailey and Jay, things had also remained just the same. Their dynamic in the field hadn’t faltered once since the first night they’d gotten together. If anything, their partnership had only grown stronger. The lingering looks, the way they could communicate with one silent glance, a simple placement of a hand on a shoulder to let the other know they were there.

They were sure no one had noticed a change in their relationship. So sure up until the point the door to their Sergeant’s office opens suddenly one afternoon and he stands in the doorway with a vacant, unreadable look on his face.  

“Upton, Halstead. My office for a sec.”

The pair share a quick glance before they stand from their desks and follow after their boss into his office. He nods at the door and Jay closes it behind them. Hank sits back down behind his desk while the partners stand on the other side of him, both of their arms crossed in front of them and waiting. They watch as Hank reaches into his desk, pulls out some paper, and then leans forward and hands them to Hailey and Jay. They glance down at the sheets as soon as they have them in their hands. It’s hard to miss the words printed in bold at the top of each sheet.

Chicago Police Department: Workplace Relationship Disclosure & Declaration

Hailey and Jay lock eyes again, both inhaling a deep breath, and then Jay looks back at the man behind his desk.

“Sarge, we - “

Hank holds up a hand and Jay goes silent. He’s been in this position before, he and Hailey both have, and he’s not so sure of how this will play out given the unreadable look on their boss’ face. To say it makes him nervous would be the biggest possible understatement.

“I’m only gonna say this once,” Hank starts, looking between the couple in front of him who nod once at their boss and wait for him to continue.

“You both might just be two of the best detectives I’ve ever worked with, the leading officers on our team aside from me. The job comes first and you don’t jeopardize this unit. Do you understand?”

Jay and Hailey share another look, but nod their heads regardless. Neither quite exactly sure as to what is happening or how it could be this easy.

“That’s it?” Hailey finds herself asking the older man a second later.

Voight sighs then, looking between the two again. There’s a fleeting smile that appears at the corners of the man’s face. He looks almost nostalgic for a moment before he speaks again.

“After everything this team has been through over the last few years, after everything we’ve lost,” Hank sighs again as he looks between the two.

“Look, anything outside of Intelligence and the job, relationships or whatever you guys do on your own time. I gotta tell ya, I just don’t care anymore. Fill these out. Give ‘em to Platt for the Ivory Tower. That’s it,” he tells them.

Hailey and Jay glance at each other again, both of them breathing a silent sigh of relief. This certainly was not what they’d expected happening when this conversation started. They turn and head for the door, but just as Jay is about to pull it open he turns back around to face his boss. He just can’t help himself.

“How’d you know?”

“I’ve got eyes Jay,” is all their Sergeant says.

Jay nods once, glances at Hailey, who just offers a small smile, but doesn’t say anything, and then he looks back at Voight.

“Thank you,” Jay tells him and Hailey nods her head, a silent thanks of her own.

It’s not lost on either of the three of them the weight those two simple words carry.

Thank you for not splitting us up. Thank you for not kicking one of us or both of us out. Thank you for understanding.

Hank leans back in his chair, a smirk on his face now, as he looks at his two detectives.

“Believe me, it’s not lost on me the number of partnerships that have crossed lines in this unit. I shoulda been a matchmaker instead of a cop. And send the other two lovebirds in on your way out, will ya?”

“Copy you,” Hailey tells him, and then her and Jay turn head for the door. Jay shakes his head in near disbelief at the outcome of the conversation as they re-enter the bullpen.

“Voight wants to see you two,” Jay calls out, nodding in Adam and Kim’s direction as he stands in the aisle next to his and Hailey’s desks.

The other couple shares a similar look of concern, but head for Voight’s office, closing the door behind them. The disturbance makes Kevin stand from his desk and walk up to Jay, noticing the sheet of paper in his hand.

“What’s that about bro? Y’all good?” He asks. He glances down at the paper in Jay’s hand and catches the words “workplace relationship” before Jay puts it away inside his desk.

Jay nods quickly. “Yeah, all good.”

The officer glances between Jay and Hailey, noticing the same sheet of paper on the blonde detective’s desk before she drops it in her drawer and closes it. He looks back at Jay.

“You and Upton? Like, you and Upton?” Kevin asks, his eyes widening.

Jay looks over at Hailey, notices her flushed cheeks and her bottom lip pulled between her teeth. The two lock eyes and the look doesn’t go unnoticed by Kevin, who shakes his head in disbelief, not thinking his suspicions of the pair over the last few weeks were in fact true.

“Well, alright then,” is all Kevin says. He picks up his coffee mug from his desk and makes his way to the break room, leaving the partners to themselves.

“That was not as bad as I thought it would be. Definitely expected worse,” Jay says a moment later as he sits on the edge of Hailey’s desk.

“Yeah,” she says as she exhaled a long breath. She’s still a bit caught off guard and the words of their Sergeant are playing on a loop in her head.

“Molly’s tonight?” Jay asks her a moment later, noticing her deep in thought.

Hailey’s being just a little too quiet for his liking, considering the confrontation they’ve just experienced, and that nervousness from Voight’s office is beginning to creep up on him again. He can’t help wondering if she’s starting to second guess this new thing between them. That maybe she’s having regrets and it scares him. He can’t lose another partner. He can’t lose her. Not now.

Hailey turns her head to look up at him, grateful for the distraction and momentary cease of Kevin’s gaze and the eyes of Voight, but soon scrunches her face in realization.

“You know what today is right? That place is gonna be a mad house tonight,” she tells him.

He does in fact know what today is; it’s Valentine’s Day, their first together, and potentially their last given the look on her face and the uneasy feeling he has rising in his chest.

Jay just shrugs, trying to play it off, with a smirk peeking out over his face. “It could be fun and the others are going.”

“Never would have pegged you for the type to wanna celebrate Valentine’s Day,” she tells him.

“Well, if it makes any difference, they’re doing half price pints and they even got a food truck catering from Offset BBQ tonight.”

“What about Offset BBQ?” Kevin asks as he walks out of the break room with a fresh mug of coffee.

“Food truck at Molly’s,” Jay says before standing from Hailey’s desk to sit back down at his own.

“Ah yes, and half price drinks. You can’t pass up half price drinks at Molly’s. Can’t pass up the opportunity to see Herrmann go off the rails over it either,” Kevin tells them as he returns to his desk.

Hailey smiles at Kevin, knowing he’s right, and feeling relieved over the fact that the man doesn’t look at her differently or ask any questions about her and Jay.

She turns around in her chair to look back at her partner. “Fine, but if it gets too crowded I’m bailing.”

Jay just smiles at her and nods his head, and they go back to their jobs and the seemingly never-ending piles of paperwork they have to do. He can’t seem to shake the uneasy feeling still bubbling inside of him at the way the woman across from him remains quiet and doesn’t look up at him again for the remainder of the afternoon.

By the time their shift is over and the last of the paperwork has been done for the day, Jay and Hailey are the last ones in the bullpen. The others had left a short while earlier, even Voight had already called it a night.

“You ready, Hails?” Jay calls out to her as she returns to the bullpen from the locker room.

“Yeah, just had to grab my bag,” she tells him, a duffel slung over her shoulder.

The pair shut down their computers and put on their coats, and then head down the stairs. They don’t say a word to each other as they make their way out to the parking lot to his truck. It’s just as quiet on the short drive over to Molly’s and by the time he finds a parking spot down the street from the bar, he can’t take the silence anymore.

“We gonna talk about it?” He asks her as soon as the truck is in park. He unbuckles his seatbelt and turns his head to look at the blonde, but she just quirks an eyebrow up at him.

“The conversation with Voight,” he answers her unspoken question.

“Do we need to?” She asks a moment later.

That’s not exactly the response he was expecting and it surely doesn’t help calm the nerves he’s been feeling all day.

“I just wanna make sure we’re on the same page. We’ve been doing our thing the last month or so and it’s been really great. At least I think it’s been really great, but we haven’t talked about what exactly that thing is either.”

“So you wanna put a label on it?” She asks, trying to hold back a smirk and failing to do so.

“I just don’t wanna assume anything,” Jay tells her, a shy smile appearing on his face.

“What exactly are you assuming?” She presses.

Jay can tell she’s pushing him by the look in her eyes and he’s nervous again. He knows there hasn’t been anyone else for her since that night in the bar when he first kissed her. There hasn’t been anyone else for him either. The fact that they’ve spent every night together at either of their apartments since that first night solidifies that for him. He’s also sure that what they have, this new thing between them, isn’t just some fling between co-workers out of convenience or opportunity. There’s no doubt in his mind about that.

Jay wants to believe it’s the real deal between them, that Hailey is it for him, despite her quiet behavior and the nerves he’s been feeling all day. He takes a deep breath and then he takes the plunge to hopefully solidify what they’ve been doing and make it official.

“You being my girlfriend,” Jay tells her. His eyes are on hers and his heart is pounding so loud in his chest that he’s sure she can hear it.

“Jay,” Hailey says, her voice soft and quiet and he suddenly feels like he can’t breathe. Maybe he had been wrong.

“I already filled out that form,” she tells him a second later.

“What?”

“When you and Kev took those boxes of CI files back down to the file room,” she explains as a smirk forms on Jay’s face.

“And what exactly did you write on the form?” He asks her.

“That you’re my boyfriend,” she says with a shrug as if her answer should be obvious.

Jay raises his eyebrows at her response and she gives him a playful roll of her eyes. She unbuckles her seatbelt and leans just slightly over the console between them. She grabs his arm to pull him towards her and they meet in the middle.

“I know I’ve been acting weird since we talked to Voight, but not for the reasons you think. I like you Jay, I really like being with you, and I’m pretty sure you feel the same way, and it seems pretty clear to me what we’re doing, so yeah. I declared you as my boyfriend on that form. Is that okay with you?”

Jay grins at her just before he closes the remaining space between them and captures her lips with his own. He brings his hand up to hold the side of her face, his thumb brushing over her cheek for a moment before he slides his hand to the back of her neck. He quickly deepens the kiss, earning a moan from his partner, and then feels her hands on the front of his jacket. She pulls him as close to her as she can considering the middle console that is wedged between them now.

“I’m gonna take that as a yes,” Hailey whispers against his lips a second later.

“You can take that as a hell yes,” he tells her before kissing her again.

When they separate again, they’re grinning, both of their dimples out on display.

“Gotta say, I was a little nervous there for a second,” he admits then.

She reaches a hand up to the back of his neck, the tips of her fingers brushing through his hair, as she looks him in the eyes.

“I’m sorry about that. It wasn’t because of you or because I was rethinking us. After we talked to Voight, all I could really think about was a conversation I had with Platt actually,” she tells him a small smile.

His eyebrows raise at that. “What conversation with Platt?”

He feels her fingers slip away from the back of his head and she leans back just slightly before taking a deep breath.

“It was a while ago, back when Adam and I were doing whatever we were doing. Platt said that if he was the one that we’d have to make it work. And that if we wanted to be together, one of us would have to leave Intelligence,” she tells him. He nods slowly at her in understanding and then she continues.

“And after what Voight said, I guess I just got lost in my own thoughts and feelings. I know I wouldn’t have given up Intelligence or the job for Adam, but for you? It wouldn’t have been a very hard decision for me and I was ready to make it today in Voight’s office. And I guess it kinda just scared the crap out of me.”

He’s smiling at her now. A wide grin taking over his face as he looks at her with so much admiration and happiness and love. She had chosen him over the FBI. She would have chosen him over her career today. She’s chosen his side countless times before.

“I love you,” he whispers to her then.

He says it so easily, like it’s not the first time he’s uttering those special words to her, and the look she wears on her face after he says them makes him smile like an idiot. He doesn’t care that they’ve only been together a month. He doesn’t care that to others he may be rushing things. He knows it’s been much longer than four weeks that he’s been feeling this way, and not just for himself, but for her too.

He leans towards her again, hanging back just enough to still look her in the eyes, and he brings a hand back up to the side of her face. She’s got tears in her eyes, but they’re shining bright blue, and she smiles back at him just the same.

“I love you too,” she whispers back before closing the space between them again and kissing him hard on the mouth.

When they separate moments later with shallow breaths, they’re still grinning at one another and his hand is still holding her head just centimeters away from his.

“Really wish we didn’t have to leave this truck right now,” he tells her remembering where they are. His voice is so deep and gruff that it sends a heatwave through her almost instantly. She nods in silent agreement before giving him another quick kiss, and then leans back into her seat.

“Let’s go. The sooner we get in there, the sooner we can leave,” she says with a wink and he just smirks at her.

They exit the truck and make their way up the sidewalk side by side and shoulders brushing. When they reach the door to the bar, Jay holds the door open for her, placing his hand on her lower back over her coat and guiding her inside.  

When they enter the bar, they’re not all that surprised to see a slight crowd inside just as expected. The twinkling string lights shine bright from the ceiling, and familiar faces from the district and firehouse scatter the bar and tables.

Jay uses his height to his advantage given the crowd and quickly spots the rest of their team at the back of the place. He drops his hand from Hailey’s back and reaches for her hand hanging at her side. He gives her fingers a quick squeeze to get her attention, letting go of them when she looks up at him. He nods off in the direction of their friends and Hailey follows him to the back wall.

“Tell me one of those is for me,” Hailey says in greeting when her and Jay arrive at the table.

They’re met with hello’s and smiles from Kim, Adam, and then Kevin, who grins back at the blonde. He nods down to two pint glasses full of beer and foaming at the top.

“Of course, help yourselves,” Kevin tells the pair.

Hailey and Jay each take a glass, and then take a seat next to one another on the remaining stools at the table. The group begins making small talk and when Adam starts in about the case they just wrapped, Kevin raises a hand to stop him mid-sentence.

“Hold up, the only shoptalk I wanna hear about is those lovely little forms y’all got from Voight today,” Kevin says as he brings his glass to his lips.

Hailey and Kim both shake their heads, amused smiles on their faces, while Jay nearly chokes on his beer as he’s mid-sip and Adam throws his head back and groans.

“Man, come on,” Adam says.

“You two? I get. Lot of history there,” Kevin starts pointing between Kim and Adam.

And then he turns and looks between Hailey and Jay. “But you two. Y’all have been in sneaky stealth mode and I don’t like it. I thought we were all friends here. I mean, I had suspicions, but how long has this been going on for exactly? Inquiring minds need to know.”

Jay just shakes his head, an amused smile on his face, and Hailey laughs.

“You really wanna know about our love life?” Jay asks before he takes another sip from his glass.

Hailey’s eyes dart to Jay at the mention of the word, thinking back to their exchange from minutes before outside. She moves her free hand from her lap to his knee, not caring about PDA – it’s not as if anyone can see the gesture anyway. Jay glances over at her at the contact and she just smiles at him before turning her attention back to the group.

“Ya know, Kev has a good point. I’d like to know that as well. I mean, Kim and I assumed, but we didn’t know for sure until today,” Adam chimes in while Kim just nods in agreement with a smirk on her face.

“The three of you are relentless,” Jay says before glancing at his partner.

“Yeah, there’s nothing really to tell,” Hailey says with another casual shrug hoping they’d back off, but knowing they won’t.

“No, no, no. There’s definitely something to tell. Come on, it’s us,” Adam pushes with a boyish grin.

“Exactly,” Jay teases, pointing in the officer’s direction.

“At least tell us who made the first move because my money is totally on Hails,” Kim says.

“Well, you’d be right about that,” Hailey tells her with a grin.

“Yes! Ladies for the win!” Kim yells out and the two share a high five across the table.

Adam shakes his head in mock disappointment and Kevin runs his hand over his face before looking back at Jay.

“Bro, you didn’t make the first move? What’s the matter with you?”

“Well, she’s my partner for one,” Jay says as if it’s obvious. All he gets in return are eye rolls and a shake of heads from all of them except Hailey, who just smiles at him and squeezes his knee under the table.

“Semantics,” Adam chimes with a wave of his hand.

“Ok, so I was a chicken. Happy now?” Jay says as he takes another drink from his glass.

“In his defense, he did kiss me first. I just had to give him a little push in the right direction,” Hailey tells them, bumping her shoulder against his and smiling coyly at the memory of that night in the bar.

“Alright, so hold up. I gotta ask, am I the only one here that hasn’t slept with their partner? Is that like some Intelligence initiation thing? Because if it is, I’m pretty sure I missed that in the employee handbook,” Kevin says glancing between the two couples who break out laughing.

Jay shakes his head, a grin still on his face. “Shut up, Kev.”

“I’m just saying. I’m the only one here not getting any. And it’s Valentine’s Day. That’s just a damn shame,” Kevin says as he surveys the bar. “Ya know what, y’all enjoy the rest of your evenings. I’m gonna go and find me a lady friend of my own.”

Kevin shoots them all a wink and a bright smile, and they say a quick goodbye before he stands up and heads off into the crowd.

“I’m assuming you guys got the same speech we did from Voight then,” Adam says a moment later looking over at Hailey and Jay. The pair glance at one another briefly before nodding.

“Man, the way things have changed. Voight’s getting soft on us,” Adam tells them, bringing his drink to his lips.

Jay shakes his head, his hand moving over top Hailey’s under the table and giving her fingers a squeeze. “Not sure if that’s it exactly. I think the unit, us, is all he has left. We’ve lost a lot over the years. I think he just doesn’t want us to lose anything else.”

Adam nods and Kim smiles back at him, and he feels Hailey’s fingers tighten against his.

“I’ll drink to that,” Adam says then, raising his glass. The other three nod and raise their own drinks. They clink their glasses together and then drink, and dive in about hockey and work and swap stories about their friends – their family that are no longer with them.

After another round, Kim and Adam make their way to the bar and get distracted with talking to some of the firefighters from 51. The crowd has only grown larger and the volume of chatter around them makes Hailey turn and lean into Jay so she’s leaning over his shoulder.

“Wanna get out of here?” She asks against his ear.

He gives her a nod and the pair stand from the table. They weave their way through the crowd and say a quick goodbye to their friends, and then head for the door.

As soon as they’re outside, Hailey leans into Jay as they head for the truck. He wraps an arm around her shoulders, holding her against him as her arm snakes around his waist.

“Ya know what I just realized?” He asks her as they walk down the sidewalk.

“Who knows,” she teases. He slides his hand down her arm just enough to poke his fingers into her side, tickling her ribs, and she squirms against him.

“What did you realize?” She asks him, giving his side a squeeze.

“We’re one of those cheesy cliché couples that say I love you and make things official on Valentine’s Day,” he tells her, a smirk spreading over his face as he looks down at her. Her eyes go wide and then she laughs, knowing he’s right.

“At least neither of us will ever forget our anniversary now,” Hailey tells him a moment later with a smirk of her own as they reach the truck.

Jay smiles at her again, taking a step towards her and pressing her against the passenger side door. His hands find her waist and his lips are on hers a second later and she’s kissing him back instantly.

It still feels like a dream to her that she can be like this with him. Kissing him, touching him, loving him. Like it’s not still some new thing for them despite the familiarity and the fact that they’ve been doing their thing for a month already. Kissing her partner, her boyfriend, has become one of her favorite things.

Sure, they’ve slept together. And while those times spent in bed with one another have been nothing short of amazing, it’s these moments where he’s pressed against her with his hands holding onto her, and his lips moving over hers that she’s come to enjoy the most. Because it’s all she’s wanted since falling for her best friend. It’s these little moments that she’s wanted and thought about and it’s what causes her to smile against his lips as he kisses her once more before pulling away to look her in the eyes.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” Jay whispers to her.

Hailey nods, leaning back into him, and smirks up at him. “Might just be my new favorite holiday.”

And then she kisses him again just because she can.

[helbertinelli]

As someone who likes a lot of the newer Star Wars content that’s been put out in the past decade, I’m wondering why a lot of people are constantly claiming that “Disney” Anakin and Padme are OOC.

I get it, Anidala is my comfort ship too and I only ever want the best for them, but the circumstances of their marriage were super unhealthy for both of them and it seems pretty obvious that it would manifest in other ways instead of just at the end of ROTS. They’re both incredibly strong willed people who believe they know what’s right, and they never really got to be together or effectively communicate with each other, and that’s super tragic.

Anakin and Padme are flawed characters, that’s something that people stress a lot, I’m just wondering why when any creator other than George tries to explore those flaws through their relationship, they’re seen as portraying them OOC. Obviously George has a lot of insight into their characters, relationship, and flaws and has revealed a lot about them through interviews, extras, etc., but I don’t think he was necessarily as good at showing it through the films (Padme especially gets a lot of her important scenes/plotlines cut and her characterization kind of suffers from that).

Idk, it might just be that I have a different perspective (I got into the fandom at around 2013 when a lot of new content was coming out) but I don’t struggle with reconciling a lot of the newer works as expanded characterizations, I don’t think that they necessarily contradict what’s present in the films most of the time.

Ultimately, it probably just comes down to how you interpret Star Wars as George Lucas’ creation, the man was very adamant that it was *his* story before he sold it, but I think multiple authorial viewpoints can exist in this massive franchise.

(Obviously people can have their own interpretations and there is no definitive “right” way to look at things, just wondering what the thought process is here)

Thanks for your ask. I’m going to break it down into the points you’ve sent just so I can keep my answer organized and not all over the place. 1. As someone who likes a lot of the newer Star Wars content that’s been put out in the past decade, I’m wondering why a lot of people are constantly claiming that “Disney” Anakin and Padme are OOC.

Because they made Anakin think that Padme would cheat on him and then they made Padme afraid of Anakin and made her tell him they need a break. And because they retconned their story in order to stuff in Clovis in Padme’s story. And it doesn’t fit in the timeline of events that have already been established for Padme and it doesn’t fit with her character at all. In AOTC, in the novel, it says specifically that Padme never made time for herself and she only cared about being a Senator. They mention it in the movie too, but in the book, they go more in depth. There’s no way she made time to have a relationship with Clovis.

Again, for Padme, they (TCW) also make her more focused on her job and they treat Anakin like he’s just some side character in her life. This is completely out of character for Padme. We saw in AOTC that Padme developed from this person who only put her job first, to a person who finally allowed herself to have feelings for someone else and who would put that person before anything else.

If this was not true, then Padme would not have ignored Mace Windu’s request to stay on Tatooine until the Jedi go and rescue Obi-Wan, she would not have married Anakin at the end of AOTC, she would not have gotten pregnant with him, she would not have lived with him on Coruscant, she would not have made plans (and been happy about those plans) to leave her job and move to Naboo and raise their child(ren) there, she would not have went after Anakin after he turned to the dark side and asked him to go away with her.

TCW ignored that Padme got significant development in AOTC and that because of that development her character from TPM and the beginning of AOTC was now changed. They ignored that and decided to portray Padme as we see her at the beginning of AOTC. Spending time with Anakin is a chore, it doesn’t matter what Anakin says even if his concerns are right, only the Republic and her job matter.

There are moments in TCW where their relationship is good, but there are really bad and out of character moments that overshadow the good stuff.

2. I get it, Anidala is my comfort ship too and I only ever want the best for them, but the circumstances of their marriage were super unhealthy for both of them and it seems pretty obvious that it would manifest in other ways instead of just at the end of ROTS. They’re both incredibly strong willed people who believe they know what’s right, and they never really got to be together or effectively communicate with each other, and that’s super tragic.

I don’t think their marriage or the circumstances of their marriage were unhealthy. Their relationship is one of the best ones in Star Wars since it’s very mutual and it’s based on respect and understanding. Padme and Anakin know each other very well and they understand the other like no one else. They’re also nothing but respectful and loving of one another. I don’t see how that is unhealthy.

Them having to hide their marriage and not being able to spend time with one another too because of the war does have an effect on Anakin and Padme, but not on their relationship. Neither of them would think that it would be better not to have a relationship than to have a secret one. I know that Padme said this in AOTC, but she changes her mind about that fairly quick. Again, going to the AOTC book, we actually see Padme doubting her words in that very scene and she’s thinking they’d end up be destroyed worse by not allowing themselves to be together.

3. Anakin and Padme are flawed characters, that’s something that people stress a lot, I’m just wondering why when any creator other than George tries to explore those flaws through their relationship, they’re seen as portraying them OOC. Obviously George has a lot of insight into their characters, relationship, and flaws and has revealed a lot about them through interviews, extras, etc., but I don’t think he was necessarily as good at showing it through the films (Padme especially gets a lot of her important scenes/plotlines cut and her characterization kind of suffers from that). 

George Lucas did not have a lot of time to show Anakin and Padme’s relationship in the movies. And yes, Padme did get a lot of her scenes cut out. I don’t think her characterization suffered from it, because we, as the audience, could still understand what Padme stood for and what was important for her. Sure more detail would have been nice, but I don’t think that her characterization was lacking in any way. Like in AOTC it would have been nice to see more scenes of her that showed her being in love with Anakin, but there were still other scenes left in the movie that showed this very well.

I don’t think that only George Lucas is able to explore the flaws in their relationship and their characters. I think I’ve seen some fragments from some SW books on here that have Anidala scenes and Anakin and Padme do have some conflict, but they resolve it. Like there was one where Padme had to go on a mission that Anakin didn’t approve with and they basically talked it out and reached kind of a compromise I think. And there was another book where Anakin and Padme wanted to make out and have sex, but Bail and Obi-Wan were close by and despite how much they both wanted each other and how much it hurt them not to be together, they agreed it was better this way.

The problem is when people create conflict in their relationship that would not make sense in the first place, and then try to say that because of that conflict they just created, Anakin and Padme’s relationship is bad. Like as I discussed above with TCW and making Anakin think that his wife would cheat on him. That would never happen. I think it was in the ROTS book where Palpatine is trying to convince Anakin that Padme is having an affair with Obi-Wan and Anakin is like “Nope, I know Padme.“

It makes no sense to change Anakin’s character to now believe that his wife is cheating just to create drama in their relationship. The TCW writers tried to push a weird love triangle on a happily married couple and then they tried to make Anakin seem like the bad guy for not liking Clovis forcing himself on Padme and for trying to get her killed before that. They created a conflict that would never happen in their relationship normally and then they were like “Oh look Anidala is toxic!“

4. Idk, it might just be that I have a different perspective (I got into the fandom at around 2013 when a lot of new content was coming out) but I don’t struggle with reconciling a lot of the newer works as expanded characterizations, I don’t think that they necessarily contradict what’s present in the films most of the time.

Ultimately, it probably just comes down to how you interpret Star Wars as George Lucas’ creation, the man was very adamant that it was *his* story before he sold it, but I think multiple authorial viewpoints can exist in this massive franchise.

(Obviously people can have their own interpretations and there is no definitive “right” way to look at things, just wondering what the thought process is here)

I can’t speak for your perspective, but it’s fairly easy to see that TCW is not really expanded characterization in the case of Padme and Anidala, specifically, but it actually contradicts things that were already established in canon. In order to achieve TCW!Padme they had to go back on Padme’s characterization in AOTC and completely ignore her character from ROTS. I know TCW takes place between AOTC and ROTS, but in the timeline, Padme would already have been married to Anakin for some time, so a lot of her characterization from ROTS would have to be incorporated in TCW!Padme. But they didn’t. TCW!Padme is basically TPM + beginning of AOTC Padme but done badly. TCW!Anidala is very contradictory with Anidala in the movies. Not only do Anakin and Padme mistrust one another and doubt each other, but the timeline has been modified to squeeze in Clovis.

We see a bit of conflict in the movies, when Padme tells Anakin that maybe the Republic is wrong and yes, it never goes anywhere, but at least it is realistic conflict. It’s not “Hey here’s my secret boyfriend that I never told you about even though we are married and I’m gonna spend time with him even though he got me poisoned one time and then my handmaiden got killed by his stupid plot and I almost endangered the Republic by helping him out and if you don’t like that he’s forcing himself onto me, then I guess our marriage is broken and we can’t be together for a while.“ That is completely against their relationship based on both of them being loving and honest and respectful to each other.

The movies made it clear that despite everything that was going on in both of their lives, Anakin and Padme found comfort in one another. They were open and honest and loving to each other (up until the point of Anakin turning to the dark side). TCW ignored all of that and pushed their own interpretation onto Anidala. Anidala was meant to be a fairytale romance that was basically the two of them against all odds and they brought the best in each other. Their characters were extremely connected that it was weird to have Padme without Anakin or Anakin without Padme. They were both extremely committed to each other, they were both ride or die for one another. And we saw it in the movies very well. Anakin destroys everything to be with Padme and Padme is willing to leave everything behind to be with him despite all the horrible things he has done. She dies still believing there’s good in him. And then TCW comes in and tries to make Anidala in some cheap TV sitcom romance where all they do is bicker and get jealous and Padme acts like it’s such a chore being Anakin’s wife. They westernize their relationship in the worst kind of way.

There’s no way to not find it contradictory that Padme in the movies who, dies from a broken heart and her last words are that there’s still good in Anakin, despite everything he did to the galaxy and to her personally, would be the same as TCW!Padme, who gets angry and scared of her husband beating up the guy who tried to sexually assualt her and then tells her husband that their marriage isn’t a marriage and that they need to take a break. It makes no sense at all.

I’m all for conflict between Padme and Anakin, but it needs to be realistic conflict. It can’t be what TCW tried to push on them or the silly theories of Padme hating Anakin for turning to the darkside (when she tried to get him to run away with her and even before in AOTC she consoled him after attacking the Tusken) or her trying to kill him at any point (when she dies believing there’s still good in him). That’s like saying that Luke would try to kill his nephew and then run away and hide on a remote planet, abandoning his family. It contradicts what has already been established about him.

Also, when you write something like TCW where you’re basically adding stuff to the middle of something, you’re basically required to know the source material of what came before and what came after the thing you are writing and you need to make your story fit and respect what came before and what came after. Otherwise, you just end up writing TCW!Padme and TCW!Anidala where it contradicts already established canon. If I never watched SW and I would just now start watching it for the first time and I’d watch: TPM, AOTC, TCW, ROTS, SWR, RO, ANH, ESB, and ROTJ, it would make no sense to me how Padme who told Anakin that their marriage isn’t a marriage, would distrust Obi-Wan when he told her of the attack and it would make no sense that she would go to talk to Anakin when TCW showed us how easy it is for her to just dump him.

This goes for TCW and for fan theories where Padme hates Anakin or she tries to kill him, I can’t reconcile those with the actual canon because then that character isn’t Padme anymore, and the ship isn’t Anidala anymore. It goes against the core of the ship, of what makes Anidala Anidala. They’re together because they’re so in love with each other and both of them will die being in love with each other. If you have them break up or end up hating each other, then you’re no longer writing about Anidala, that’s a different pairing entirely. With AUs and headcanons and fics and even other canon material, you have to be careful how you alter something so that the essence of a character or a pairing does not get lost. If it does, then you end up writing about different characters and different relationships. I’ll again use Luke as an example. Luke was willing to die for his family, to get his father, whom he didn’t even know beforehand, back, he even left his training because his family needed him. If you write Luke as being the person who wanted to kill a member of his family at the first sign of darkness, who then abandoned his family, and ignored all calls for him to come back, then you just lost the essence of Luke who was all about unconditional love and family, and you now have a different character altogether.

[betwixtofficial]

UNDERWING CHALLENGE DAY 3

Day 1 [X]

Day 2 [X]

Who is your main cast? Describe as many of your OCs as you can cram into one post.

Character Introduction-  this is by no means the entirety of our cast, not even close.

Leith and I each developed our own characters over many many years and I'm going to do my best to bring Leith’s characters to life as accurately as possible and I promise to love (torture) them like they're my own.

Andi’s characters-

Xavier Alexander Maxwell-   When it comes down to it, this is Xave's story. A small pale faerie-human halfling, with a painfully tragic beginning, looking for love and family in all the wrong places. Xavier has neon, glitter, and more sexual energy coursing through his veins than he knows what to do with. A faerie half he doesn’t always have control over, and between the Fae, the Zaccardas, and his own personal demons- all fighting for a chance to control him, it’s going to be a  long dark journey.    It’s not ONLY pain and dark. It's just MOSTLY pain and dark. ...you know, aside from all the glitter and neon.

Alexander- I wasn't planning on adding Alex to this, I am not sure how I didn't realize he was one of the main characters till now, but he shows up as often or even more often than any of the other characters besides Xave. Alex is Xavier's fae half. They are the very first human/faerie hybrid and though they aren't completely separate, there are some strong distinctions, and they communicate with each other, so they are separate enough for Alex to have his own blurb.

But really it's very difficult to tell where one of them begins and the other ends. They are the same being, They are both magic and mundane, they are both human and fae. Xave tends to lean more human, Alex tends to lean more faerie, they are both real. They do have somewhat distinct personalities, ... Xave is 2010 Bill Kaulitz (especially the blushy giggly interviews) and Alex is Adam Lambert in For Your Entertainment. In either case there is a lot of mascara involved. It's complicated.

Rivet Dragonrail-  A grown up lost girl with dark olive skin and brown eyes,  she has always tried to put her clouded origins behind her, but they never seem to stay put.  With freakish abilities she’d rather not have, a pervasive drinking problem she scoffs at, and an unfortunate talent for violence in the service of those for whom she is unwillingly compelled to play the role of savior,  it seems like she’s always walking a path hellbent on destruction.  She feels the sins she has committed are ceaselessly breathing down her neck, requiring atonement she does not know how to provide.  She would like nothing more than to stand in the eye of the raging storm of the lives lived and lost around her, screaming at the sheer horror of it all, giving a big middle finger to both heaven and hell alike.   But what good, really, would that do?  So she plods on-  her best friends are the knife on her hip,  the beer in her fridge, the damn raven-shifter who has adopted her out of morbid curiosity, the damn chicken she’s adopted out of sheer respect for his will to live....  and Jaq,  her ride or die that she can’t figure out her feelings for,  but it doesn’t fucking matter because that just ain’t happening. Jaq is as gay as it gets.

Ember Skye Arceneaux- He’s too good to be true.  No, really.   His smile is like sunshine poured into your soul.  Golden surfer boy good looks with sunkissed golden surfer hair tucked behind his ears, but his golden tan isn’t from the beach or the salon, it’s just his skin. Kind-hearted and generous.  Plays guitar and sings like an angel with a perfect soulful raspy voice...   And he loves Jaq absolutely and unconditionally, whether Jaq deserves it or not... and he’s Canadian.  His only flaw seems to be that he’s maybe a little too laid back?

Luca Zaccarda-  Since childhood his exceptionally ambitious mother has pushed him to leadership. She grafted her way on to the powerful Zaccarda family tree by marrying a younger son with no ambition past his next perfectly kneaded loaf of ciabatta, and then did everything in her power to see her eldest child reach the heights of power for which she believed he was destined. There’s only one problem- Luca doesn’t share her cut-throat nature. Ambition, power, and the trappings of wealth have never been the driving factors in his life and he’s set his mind to changing the status quo, mama and her scheming be damned.  Oh, he’s just as capable a leader as she believes him to be.  He’s no plump baker happily whistling away his hours in the kitchen like his father.. and he’s planning on taking down his own corrupt family,  one... by one... by one.    ...also... Mafia Werewolves anybody!?!

Teodoro Zaccarda- oh Teo, Teo, Teo.  The black sheep.  The playboy prince.  Constantly in the tabloids,  constantly in trouble,  needing bailed out of this situation or that.  Coming home drunk, or high, or naked.  The family embarrassment.  He just wishes his family wouldn’t expect so much from him.   Like,  the bare minimum.  That’s all they expect Teo.  The bare minimum.

There are about 50 other Zaccardas. I have a family tree of them. Some are more important than others, but the two listed here show up far more often than any of the others.

Leith’s characters-

Wynter Primose Dean - The physical embodiment of anxiety, standing at 6ft 9, built like a brick house, with a heart of gold and a difficult stutter. He fell in love with the right person at the wrong time, felt heartache like he had never before and after an extremely traumatic breakup he discovered his true nature, under a full moon, alone and afraid in the middle of nowhere - a werewolf. With a love for nature and all things wild, he spends a lot of his time isolated out at his cabin, crafting beautiful wooden furniture and spending more time with trees than with the people he calls family.

Jaq Knox - Dealing with childhood trauma and serious mental illness that messes up his perceptions of reality, he rarely trusts people. For the few he has let in it’s a constant battle with communication and understanding, for both parties involved. He struggles to understand the absolutes of right and wrong; he does have a moral code but often, especially in the past, he’s just been a thoughtless asshole as it was easier that way, easier to keep people at a distance. Throughout his struggles with his mind, encounters with the law and various substances, he’s been pushing  boundaries in the art world and is slowly learning how to be a better person, realizing that people actually do care about him and that maybe having a found-family isn’t so bad after all.

Eden Knox - He seems perfect, standing at 6ft tall with soft, pale blonde hair and clear skin, dressing in white and pastel colors, carrying an expensive purse and smelling like a walking Bath and Bodyworks. But as with everyone he has his demons, his just happens to have a name - Jonah. He was swept off his feet at the tender age of nineteen and carried off into a life that was a very far cry from his upbringing in a group foster home. But his perfect life with his handsome husband is nothing like what it appears from the outside, and life gets very dark before it begins to get light again.

Aspen Merrill - The younger of the Merrill brothers, he started a family at a young age with a woman he didn’t truly love - after a very amicable divorce they now co-parent their two children. He was lost for a very long time, wandering between jobs he didn’t really enjoy, women he didn’t really love, friends he didn’t really like, until he met Luca and he found his calling. He is Alfred to Luca’s Batman, from straightening ties before important meetings to organizing decoy cars to get Luca out of dangerous situations, he is extremely calm and collected and a haven of stability.

Jonah Merrill - The king of his own castle, the only person that matters in his world is himself, oh and sometimes his husband, when its convenient to him of course. Never one to shy away from threats or violence to achieve a goal, he’s not only unstoppable in his personal life but in business, using his many connections to overpower and intimidate anyone who gets in his way. Once he discovers magic and the power it can bear he’s even more unstoppable than before, and uses his husbands complete loyalty for his own very dark plans.

The cast is a pride rainbow flag. We’re all queer here. Well, except for Aspen, he might be one of the only completely cishet character in sight.

[starlightsearches]

The Runaway — Chapter 1

It was supposed to be like any other bounty. Just another job. But when Din Djarin meets a runaway trying to escape a tragic past and a bleak   future, everything changes.

Masterlist

Din Djarin x f!reader (no y/n)

Series Warnings: Language, canon-typical violence, mentions of abuse.

AN: In honor of the season 2 trailer dropping today, here’s the first chapter of my new fic! Please be mindful of the warnings—this story is going to deal with some pretty heavy themes in terms of abuse and revenge. Also, the reader is described as having a scar near their collar bone, but that’s the only physical description I’ll be giving! Thanks for reading!

Din can't stop to catch his breath, not when he's finally got you in his sights again, but gods, it feels like his lungs are on fire. He had been skeptical when he first saw the puck—how had someone like you been able to evade the Guild for this long?—but now he thinks he’s finally starting to get it. He was wrong to underestimate you.

You weave through the stacks of discarded junk, turning corners, leaping over obstacles, always just out of reach, and Din's hand itches for his blaster. He wouldn't kill you, obviously, but right now he's willing to consider anything that might stop this chase. It's only Greef's voice, echoing in his head on repeat that stops him. Unharmed. Not a scratch. He had been warned that the bounty would be heavily reduced if you came back with even a minor injury. But maybe the threat of it would slow you down.

Din removes his blaster from the holster, gripping it hard in a leather-clad hand just as you turn another corner, venturing deeper into the junkyard maze. He catches the flash of your eyes just before you disappear again, and he knows that you've seen the weapon. It was only for a moment that your eyes meet his through the mask, but a moment is all it takes for him to see it. You're terrified. Terrified of him.

"I won't hurt you," he calls out, before he remembers himself, remembers that's not a promise that he can afford to make, "just stop running." Din follows you around the corner before sliding to a halt; he had thought you were following a path you knew well, but you must have taken the wrong turn because you've found a dead end. You're backed against a wall of ship parts and refuse, breathing hard, looking feral—a caged animal. Din keeps his blaster lowered, but he's cautious in his approach. He's seen that look before. It's a look that gets rookie bounty hunters killed on the first job. They're fooled into thinking that it's the size of their target that makes them a threat, but they're wrong. It's always in the eyes.

He can finally get a good look at you, now that you're trapped with nowhere to go. He hardly recognizes you from the holo on your puck—if you hadn't tried to slip from the cantina the second you caught sight of him, he could have missed you completely. It's not just age either, although the holo is clearly a few years old. That girl, with her harmless features and demure smile, wouldn't have lasted a week in this city. You, on the other hand, you look like you could run the place.

"Don't fight and I won't shoot," he inches closer, waiting to see if you'll make your move, but you balance on the knife-edge of action and surrender. "I can bring you in warm," he continues out of habit, in the same calm, commanding tone, hoping to tip the scales in favor of the latter, "or cold."

The moments pass in silence, just the sound of your breathing and the quiet scuttle of whatever creatures lurked in a dump like this. Your eyes grow wide as you contemplate your options, the emotions so clear on your face it’s almost like Din can hear your thoughts—you still want to run. Then something inside of you breaks; your resolve crumbles. "Please," you beg him, your bottom lip quivering as you drop your head in submission. The fight leaves you immediately, and its absence shrinks you, makes you fold in on yourself, looking small—defenseless. Din is struck with the uncomfortable reminder that you're not a typical bounty. You're not a bail jumper. You're not some criminal. You're just a runaway.

He holsters the blaster before he approaches and cuffs you as gently as he can, ignoring the way you tremble, the shuddering tearless sobs that break through your parted lips. It's part of the job. He can handle it.

"Please," you beg once more. He’s caught up in your eyes like a magnet, eyes so full of pain and a fear so potent that he almost considers letting you go. Almost. He banishes the idea with a deep breath and a short tug on the binders, pulling you along behind him for the trek back to the Crest. The word stays with him, though, playing through his mind in time with every step: please, please, please. It isn't until much later that he realizes exactly what you were asking for.

You don't speak once you arrive back at the ship. There's no more begging, no crying, no chatter. You've retreated deep inside yourself and all that's left is a stony exterior. Normally, he'd be grateful for the quiet. He should be grateful for the quiet. So why he feel the need to keep checking on you over his shoulder?

Din leads you to your seat in the cockpit and you take it, your empty eyes trained on the viewport as he prepares for take-off. He catches himself staring, once, twice, three times before he manages to snap out of it. You're fine. He doesn't need to worry. And he doesn't want you to catch him looking. Not that it would matter if he stared at you outright; you won't even look at him.

"I'll be taking you to Nevarro. Your father will meet us there." His words catch your attention, and now you return his gaze with force.

"Did you meet with my father-" something changes when you speak—suddenly you’re staring at him with a look that could start fires, "-when you accepted this job?" The uncomfortable feeling deep in the pit of Din's stomach only grows, a sickening shiver that worms its way under his beskar and spreads over his skin like a poison.

"No." Din distracts himself, taking his seat and checking his controls, "I was hired through the Bounty Hunter's Guild." He had hoped to escape the pressure of your eyes, but he can’t hide from the heat of it, heat like the forge in the armory. It’s permeated the air of the cockpit, heavy and inescapable.

You only hum in response, a sound that generates thousands of questions for Din that he's not sure how to ask, but you take his silence as an opportunity to ask more questions of your own. "Did they tell you why I ran away? Or why my father was so adamant that I came back in one piece?"

Din manages to shake his head in response, and seeing it, you relax the smallest amount. You speak with a voice that stays calm and clear, "My father didn't want anyone else to kill me because he wants to do it himself."

Din's blood is ice in his veins. There’s a gasp, or maybe a cry that wants to force its way out of his throat, but what comes out instead is only a question, "How do you know that?" The Razor Crest is ready for take off, but Din hesitates with his hand over the lift-off control. Seconds pass by, stretching out into an eternity as he contemplates what you just said. He wants to do it himself. It’s not possible. It couldn’t be true. Slowly, Din drops his hand, turning in his seat to face you.

You try to hide it—the relief that you feel, knowing that he'll listen, that he might believe you—but you haven’t masked it entirely, and, unfortunately for Din, the sincerity of your demeanor only chips away at more of his doubt. You shift forward in your seat, the move made a little more difficult by the bindings, but you manage. "I know because he told me so." Your voice is laden with power, your words spoken so vehemently that they carry their own weight. You want him to believe you so badly, but a part of Din, the part that craves distance—the part that needs these credits—wishes he could believe that you were lying.

He watches as your cuffed hands crawl up your torso, towards the neckline of your tunic, inching it down to expose more of your skin. A jagged scar grows from the hem of your collar, stark against the skin around it. "He gave me this-" you say, gesturing to the mark with a jut of your chin, "-the last time I saw him. Told me that when he found me he was going to finish the job. He's a cruel man. He won't be quick about it. He'll want to see me suffer."

Your eyes remain fathomless as you look back at Din, so matter-of-fact about this threat on your life, but Din can't pull his own eyes away from the scar. His voice is barely above a whisper, but it’s still loud enough that a tremble can be heard through the vocoder when he asks, "why are you telling me this?"

"Because I think you can help me." There's a slight release when he hears those words—just the barest ease of the pressure on his chest. There's a solution to this problem, a way he can be absolved of any guilt for what's happened to you, the part he unwittingly played. He'd miss out on his payday, but at least he wouldn't wake up every night in a cold sweat. At least he wouldn't be haunted by the sight of that scar. By your fire-starting gaze.

"I'll take you somewhere—wherever you want to go." Din turns back to the control panel, bringing the ship up, running through a mental list of planets where he could leave you, somewhere you could be safe. He's pulled from his focus with a slight tug, your hand on his shoulder, the touch heavy, and intense, like he can feel every one of your fingers digging into his skin through the pauldron.

"It won't work. He'll keep sending people after me. People like you. I'm tired of running." The pressure is back on Din’s chest, with a crushing, bruising force. It's not that you're hopeless. That might, somehow, make this more bearable. No, you're not hopeless. All your hope is in him.

"Then what do you want me to do?" Din already knows. He already knows, but he hopes he doesn't. He hopes you'll ask something else from him. Anything else.

"Isn't it obvious?" you ask, reading him without seeing the droplets of sweat at his temples, the way he tugs his lip between his teeth, "I want you to—how did you put it?—'bring me in cold.'"

[intoanothermind]

Beauty Queen - Chapter 3

B E A U T Y  Q U E E N

Synopsis: You are the Ice Princess of Narnia during the Long Winter. Your sister Jadis, the White Witch, hates that you’re always helping Narnians escape prision. She decides to hunt you down and you have to run away from the palace. What happens when you find the four humans lost in Narnia?

- Edmund Pevensie x reader

Masterlist

<Chapter 2 | Chapter 4>

( Just to remind you that the dialogues were translated from Brazilian verson, so you might find them a bit different. Gif from Google.)

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C H A P T E R  T H R E E

The four Pevensie looked at each other, confused and suspicious. What could have made that noise? The noise repeated, but this time it was followed by a muffled voice calling for help. Unknown to all but Edmund. Feeling his heart almost leaping out of his body, Edmund ran to the door, which was secured by a chair. He removed the chair and opened the door, finding the handle on the other side completely frozen. He barely looked up and a girl threw herself into his arms, sobbing.

“Y/N, are you okay?!” he asked, concerned, and hugged her against his chest, protectively.

“No.” she answered before sobbing again and Edmund feel tightness in his heart to see the red blue eyes. She parted slightly from him, and looked at the chair that held the door. She laughed bitterly, before murmuring.  “I can’t believe that a chair won against the ice...”

“Edmund, who is she?” asked Susan.

“A friend. Y/N.” he answered quickly, embarrassed.

“What happened here?” asked Lucy to Y/N without realizing his brother’s embarrassment.

Y/N said nothing, but pointed to something behind her. Nailed to a wall by a rustic arrow was an old, worn parchment. The yellow papyrus looked torn on the sides. Peter tore off the parchment and started or read aloud to everyone.

“The Faun Tumnus is accused of high treason against His Imperial Majesty Jadis, Queen of Narnia, for harbouring enemies and fraternizing with humans. Signed: Maugrim, Commander of the Secret Police. Long live the Queen!” Peter finished reading, looking scared to everyone there, who reflected the same expression .

Lucia starts to sniff.

Susan took the papyrus, giving a quick check.

“Enough.” Susan said. “Now we really have to go.”

“But what about Mr. Tumnus?” asked Lucy.

“If he was arrested just for being with a human I don’t think we have much to do.

“You don't understand it, do you?” said Lucy, sadly. “I was the human. She must have found out that he helped me.”

“We better call the police.” said Peter.

“They are the police!” said Susan.

“I need to fix this...” whispered Y/N, but the others could still hear it.

The four turned to her, and Susan grimaced. She didn't know why, but she hadn't had a particularly good impression of that girl.

“Now, what does that have to do with it?” She asked rudely, but Y/N was so tormented by something that she didn’t even notice what the eldest had said, nor the disapproving look that Edmund gave her sister.

“Y/N. Y/N!” Edmund called the girl’s attention twice, but she only focused on it when she him shaking her gently by the shoulders. “What happened?”

“Tumnus! He was giving me shelter for a few weeks... And then... They came here and took him. I tried to stop it, but Tumnus locked me in that room before they saw my presence. Because they couldn't see me and Tumnus said that I would be important.”

“Who are you?” asked Peter curiously. “What does this story have to do with it?”

Y/N, for a second, thought about telling them. But she couldn't. Not yet, not when Edmund was there. What would his reaction be when he learned that she was the sister of the one who brought all the chaos? Or, possibly in his mind, did he offer him a throne? No! She couldn't have any chance to lose! She’s been, all these years, all these decades, bailing the Narnians out of the prison with a few simple tricks. Who knows, maybe she could help with something big? After all, now she was also wanted!

“That doesn’t matter now, we don’t have too much time before they come back to search” she the said hurriedly, but was interrupted by something that came from outside.

A bird. Calling their attention too humanly for the Sons of Adam and the Daughters of Eve.

“Did that bird do "pst" to us?” asked Susan, taken aback.

Y/N smiled, knowing she was a reliable Narnian and went outside, even though Edmund tried to hold her wrist to stop her. The Pevensies looked at each other, afraid, before following the girl. Y/N looked around for someone, and then behind a rock, came out just who she imagined.

“It... It's a beaver!” Lucy to be amazed.

The beaver approached them, sniffing, and Peter took a step forward. He crouched down and held out his hand, making a strange noise with his tongue.

“Come here! Clan, clan, clan...” He moved closer, extending his hand at the height of the beaver's snout.

“I won't smell it, if that's what you want.” said the beaver, causing all eyes widen.

Except for Y/N, who smiled and crouched in front of the beaver. “Hello, Mr. Beaver!”

“Princess Y/N, it’s been so long!” exclaimed the beaver.

Princess?, asked Edmund, a bit frightened with with the situation. Who, after all, was that mysterious girl?

Y/N smiled more widely at the beaver's greeting. She knew virtually all Narnians who were still fighting for Aslan's cause against the Witch and had always been friendly with them. They might no consider Jadis the Queen of Narnia, but they had great respect for Y/N and has regarded her as the true monarch, fairer and more honor level than the older witch.

“Yes, I had to stop a little with the help while I was with Tumnus, so they couldn’t track me.” she said, and the others were even more confused and curious.

“I understand.” The beaver asserted, and passed the gaze on the humans, still distant, afraid. “Lucy Pevensie?”

“Yes” she replied, approaching the beaver. He handed her a white handkerchief and deposited it in her hand. “It's the tissue I gave to Mr. Tu...”

“Tumnus.” completed the beaver. “He gave it to me before they took him.”

“Is he okay?” asked Lucy.

The beaver looked around and whispered.

“Follow me.” He turned and left, imagining that they would follow him.

Y/N immediately followed, but turned when she realized the others hesitation.

“What are you going to do?” Susan asked, holding Peter’ arm.

“He said he knew the faun.” Peter defended himself.

“He's a beaver.” said Susan, as if it was the most obvious thing. “It shouldn’t say anything at all!”

“It’s also true that there shouldn’t be any humans here, yet here you are.” sair Y/N, getting angry with Susan behaviour.

Edmund looked questioningly at Y/N, suspicious whether or not they should trust the beaver.

“Hey, relax! He's a friend!”

“Is everything okay?” asked the beaver, appearing again over a boulder.

“Yes.” Peter replied, turning to him. “We're only talking.”

“It is better to talk in a safe place.” whispered the animal disappearing again behind the stones.

“The trees hear.” Lucy said, looking around.

“And believe me, it will not be good for them to hear us here.” Y/N completed, walking back behind the beaver, but this time, with the four of them on her heels 

[chaseagainstonision]

A personal call out post

Let me preface this with having y'all not send her hate. I just wanted to bring awareness to this on Twitter as well as here becuaes I'm agitated and fed of with people who are constantly toxic to those around them and having stans/simps who back them up at every turn and enable them.

---------------------

I wanted to talk about @babblingartblog @naughtybabs and the drama I have surrounding her. I want to cover some of this: https://drive.google.com/drive/u/1/folders/17c7F4GZXCVtqVqKPXNc4lWHS0T9pHZz2 and touch on some of the bigger things in each folder since I didn't quite do that last time since I was pissed.

Note that these folders will constantly be updating. I still have some caps that I have not tossed in these folder as I have not edited out usernames for privacy reasons. I have a folder on my desktop that is also uncensored for my own reference.

Starting off with Art and Caps (https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1J_dwVDk396Cx-gZROZqK1dCB2ih5LJ6E?usp=sharing), this should be pretty straight forward. Some videos I have here are of her blatently tracing or stealing images from Google or elsewhere. I have tried to find sources for as many of these as I could. No true artist worth their salt would actually trace for a piece, especially not for commissions. Some of the other images are just some critiquing and stuff. The critiques are just personal gripes about her art that I feel could be improved upon.

For Facebook (https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/11-374WefqZaE4YWVC3HNpsyWLrnkF6Or?usp=sharing), a few things stand out more than others. The first thing is something that happened at a larp she attended. She claims that she didn't do this, but multiple other people attest otherwise. It's an incident where she tried to break up a married couple and call the man's wife a bitch and what have you. She's also expressed some rather NSFW kinks/fetishes in these larp spaces that have made others uncomfortable. She had even gotten temporarily kicked from one larp group due to these actions. Another thing that stands out more than others is her promise to change and then falling right back into old habits. There are several of these posts and I think also a few tweets, but I'll touch of tweets further down. Anyway, there are countless times that people have told her that she needs help and needs to be a better person and she basically just shrugs it off and keeps up with her toxicity.

The final thing that I'd like to touch on in this section that's a red flag is how she treated her former place of residence. Without going into too much detail as I don't want to involve her former roomies in this more than I have to. She's claimed numerous times that her former residence was abusive when it wasn't anywhere near what she's said. She was the one creating a toxic environment and people were getting tired of her shit. Between her quitting jobs with no good reason, to not paying rent and spending what should have been rent money on larps and fast food and other such luxuries and accusing a former roomie of something heinous, she brought down the mental health of everyone in that house.

There are various other things that you can look through that I haven't even touched upon that set off more red flags. There were also some DMs that I had omitted that I won't release but can summarize if need be later. Also, I realize that some of these caps are ant sized, so if you need me to transcribe them, feel free to ask.

For Tumblr and Misc (https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/152bkOkTiH4ZfWk3t9g3JhHMwSz2J-YjT?usp=sharing), there's not much there. Just some asks about the larp things I mentioned in the Facebook section, her GoFundMe, which I'll also touch upon in the Twitter section, and some caps from Youtube about her tracing.

For Twitter (https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1pGqz6qTFuvKZDYPuxQTk6CLxGgJokYa8?usp=sharing), there are a ton of caps. There are only a few things that stuck out to my with these caps, too. Outside of the Hazbin Hotel drama, that is, since there are quite a bit of caps there.

The first is the most recent and the thing that kicked me sharing all of this originally. It relates to a Slenderman series creator names Adam Rosner who was outed as a piece of shit who did some unsavory things with a few people underage, as well as some other horrible, heinous shit. She claimed to be friends with him and that she "still can't believe that [she] ignored [her] gut" about how much of a creep he actually was. I called her out the two times that she spoke out about this because I knew, from personal experience and from also knowing Adam and interacting with him at a limited capacity (I just thought he was kind of a snob originally and was fame hungry), that she had been lying and had only really been an acquaintance, much like myself, and also had limited interactions with him.

Touching on the GoFundMe that I mentioned earlier, though, and she admitted that she, herself, donated her $1400 stimulus check from 2020 to inflate the amount she received from her GFM. The GFM was taken poorly from some former friends as she owns them money and she, instead of trying to pay some of that back, dumped her money in the GFM to inflate it.

She's also brought up a few times where she would like friends who wouldn't crucify her and that calling her out on her bad behavior and holding her to a standard means that you're stalking her or being mean or something. This piggy backs off of the point from the FB section about her saying she'll get better then doesn't.

For Videos and Caps (https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/1vukA5KmVvbF56pC91GGD4s-FCZaXwW6W?usp=sharing), there are uhh... some questionable things in here.

The first is stuff that I had transcribed since it's in parts. This, against, cycles back to her attempts at fundraising for herself. She had gotten angry about various BLM protesters had gotten money for bail and lawyers and what not and that no one was, essentially, donating to her cause donating to small creators isn't "trendy" or "popular" or some such nonsense. Then, tried to back peddle by saying that capitalism sucks and how she shouldn't had used her GFM to compare to BLM but that the poor, LGBT+, black, etc aren't accessories or something but really still giving a nonapology.

Which brings be to a related but not really point about the stutter that she had. She's done this weirdly forced stutter in a few videos and I asked around if it was a thing that she had done before and it wasn't and is, indeed, a forced reaction to garner sympathy.

Swinging back around the the fundraisers she posted on FB and the bit about her roomies, there was a video that she had made accusing one former roomie of some nasty things, as well, when it never happened. The actual story, without getting into too much detail, was that she had pined after this roomie for a bit and was enamored with him but he had (and still has) a girlfriend.

As for the other videos, there's just a lot of depressed posting and what not. Like, a lot of depressed posting.

Some general statements: Normally I wouldn't dump on some of these things if it were anyone else, but knowing her personally and talking to some former friends and what have you and knowing how she is after all of this observation, there have been a lot of red flags that popped up. Like, I'm not here to victim blame or laugh at someone over mental illness or any of that shit. But I also know that she siphons personality traits and whatnot from the people around her.

[slapshot-to-the-heart]

Flatbush & Atlantic: part vi

Part vi is here! As always, I love hearing any kind of feedback, so reblogs and inboxes are so welcome!

part i part ii part iii part iv part v

part vi

January 30 

Cass was distracted as she walked into the arena, distracted as she found Mat’s family, and distracted as she sat down. Fiona’s words were weighing on her, and she didn’t know what to do about them. It didn’t help that she hadn’t seen Mat since that morning, he had press and practice and some fan stuff with the league. It was maybe ten minutes before puck drop, and Cass didn’t know where her head was at. She was picking at a loose thread on the hem of her jersey when she felt a hand on her shoulder. Looking up, she was surprised to see that it was his mom. 

“Are you okay, love? You look distracted.” She asked, concern clear on her face. 

“Yeah?” Cass responded, almost like a question. 

Nadia gave her the “mom” look, the kind that pierces through your soul and knows all of your secrets. “I know you don’t know me all that well and I won’t make you talk about it if you don’t want to, but I can tell something’s on your mind, Cassidy. And I have a feeling it has to do with my son.”

Cass let out a defeated sigh. “Yeah. It’s just...everything’s piling on top of each other, and it’s hard to sort out what’s important and what’s just...static, if that makes sense.”

She nodded wisely. “What kind of things?”

“Outside opinions on us, on Mat and I’s relationship. People thinking that they have a right to make a judgement one way or another. People thinking that I don’t belong here, or with him, because of who I am, and how I look, and what I do.” Cass paused from her monologuing for a moment. “And it’s not always done out of spite. I’ve got a friend at school who just texted me basically asking if I’m sure that my priorities are in the right place. And I know she means well, she’s a wonderful person, but it’s just…” She trailed off.

“Tiring,” Nadia supplied. Cass nodded. “Well,” she began, “Obviously I’m not an expert. I’ve never been in a relationship with a professional athlete, and I’m not you. But I know what pressure feels like, and I know Mat.” Cass gave a watery chuckle. “And I know that my son is head over heels for you. He thinks the world of you, he really does.”

“But, all due respect, it’s not like I’m his first girlfriend or anything.”

“True,” she started carefully, “but I’ve also never seen him like this. I won’t insult your intelligence and say that there haven’t been other girls, because there have, but he’s never been this wholeheartedly invested in someone before. Did you know that you’re the first one he’s introduced us to since he moved to New York?”

Cass shook her head. “No, I didn’t. He never told me.”

“And why would he? Mat’s a good man and he’s got a good heart, but sometimes he can be remarkably dense. Doesn’t always notice what’s right in front of him.”

“Believe me, I’ve noticed that much,” Cass said, laughing. 

Her thumb ran across Cass’s shoulder. “I guess this all just goes to say that you’ve got to talk to him. He cares about you, a lot. He’ll listen. And if he doesn’t, you send him to me, okay?”

Cass smiled. “I will.” The players had just come out, and the anthems were about to start. Cass rose from her seat, hand over her heart and Mat on her mind. 

The score at the ten-minute mark was 3-3, and Cass had to constantly stop herself from chewing her nails down to nubs. The 3-on-3  format made it easier to keep track of the puck, but there was so much open space on the ice it was sometimes impossible to tell where the players were trying to go in the first place. There were three minutes left, and Mat had just nabbed a pass from Konecny. Skating down the ice, he caught a breakaway. Faked to his left, skated to the right, and poked it right past Vasilevsky in the far corner. Half of the arena exploded, half sunk to their seats and groaned. Cass cheered loudly, cupping her hands around her mouth and hugging the rest of the family. He skated over to the side, hi-fiving the guys on the bench before taking his seat for the next shift. 

Metro division ended up winning 8-6, and Cass shot off a quick congratulations text to Mat, knowing that he probably wouldn’t be able to read it until after the final. She half-payed attention to the Western conference semifinal, only enough to know that the Pacific division won. She couldn’t even say by how much. 

The final was close, much closer than the first game had seemed, with no more than a single goal separating the two teams at any time. Late in the game, it looked like the Metro team would be able to run away with it, but Tkachuk sniped from the blue line, pulling Pacific ahead and giving them the win. She followed his family down to the hall where everyone was waiting, internally cringing at the thought of how Mat might be taking the loss. He had gotten better, a lot better, after they had made it clear that communication was a priority and something that needed to be worked on in their relationship, but he wasn’t perfect, and neither was she. 

So needless to say, she was more than a little surprised when he came out of the locker room with a smile on his face, embracing his family and giving her a kiss on the head. The group walked outside as they said their goodbyes — Mat’s family had an early flight back, Miami to Vancouver wasn’t exactly an in-demand route — and Mat’s sister hugged Cass, turning to her brother after and sternly telling him “don’t screw this up. She’s way too good for you.” 

It was pretty late, and a beautiful night, and most of the fans had left, so Cass and Mat walked hand-in-hand back to the hotel. “What’s on your mind, pretty girl?” Mat murmured. So I guess we’re going to have this conversation now, Cass thought, on the sidewalk in an Islanders jersey in the middle of Sunset, Florida. 

“You really can read me like a book, can’t you?” Cass asked softly.

Mat shrugged. “That, and the fact that you keep glancing between me and the street. Might have been a little bit of a giveaway.” 

“The interview from the other day’s been on my mind. I know it seems kind of stupid and childish, but it’s getting to me. What he said about me not being a ‘typical’ hockey girlfriend.”

“He doesn’t know what he’s talking about,” Mat said dismissively. 

“I know that, you know that, but it’s the perception, Mat. Either that I don’t support you or your career because I have my own things to deal with sometimes, or that I don’t occupy the ‘place’ I should by pursuing education and a career. By pursuing a male-dominated career, especially. I’m worried I don’t…” She took a breath. “I’m worried I don’t live up to the expectations everyone’s setting for me.” Cass was annoyed, not at Mat or at the interviewer, even, but at the situation. At the thought that she had to continually prove to people that she was enough and she had earned her place. 

“Fuck expectations,” Mat said abruptly. “I want you. All of you.” He stopped for a moment. “I’m so, so proud of you. I know I’ve said it already, and I hope you don’t get tired of hearing it, because it’s true. You have this incredible future ahead of you, and you’ve worked so hard to get to where you are. Everyone sees it. You’re going to do such good work, whether it’s bailing dumbass hockey players out or defending immigrant kids. You’re made for this.” Cass had gone into law school thinking she wanted to go into immigration law, motivated in no small part by the fact that Alejandra, her best friend down in Texas, was a DACA recipient. She had legal status for the time being, but it broke her heart to think that she could be forced out of the only country she had ever known. And when Cass was pissed off about something, she wasn’t the type to keep her mouth shut. 

“People will want to write you off,” he continued, “because maybe they’ve never seen anyone do what you do, but that just makes it all the more incredible and impressive that you are able to do it. To have it all.”

Cass let out a humorless laugh. “Have it all, sure.”

“What else happened?” Mat asked, getting the sense that there was still something she was holding back. And he was right. 

“Fiona sent this text checking up on me,” Cass said, not quite sure where to start. 

Mat’s eyebrows furrowed. “But isn’t that good? That she wanted to catch up?”

“I mean, it would be,” Cass sighed, “but she was saying without saying it that she’s not sure my priorities are in the right place since I’ve started seeing you. Almost like you’re...I don’t know. Distracting me from school or something.”

“But—” She cut him off.

“Don’t be mad at her. She means well, I know she does,” Cass replied sharply. Even frustrated, she was still protective of her friends. “And she’s right in the fact that I’ve had more things taking up my time now, and maybe I’m not spending quite as much time at school or the library or wherever as I used to. But that’s fine. Right? Because I’ve been working hard, and I’m still getting good grades but this is making me worried that everything I’m working so hard for isn’t going to pan out—”

“Are you happier?” Mat asked abruptly. 

Cass turned to him, confused. “What do you mean?”

“Are you happier now than you were before we met?” She could see his Adam’s apple bobbing. He was nervous. Mat had taken a gamble asking her the question, and he wasn’t sure of the answer. 

“I am,” she said softly. 

Mat squeezed her hand. “Then what else really matters?”

They arrived back at the hotel some twenty minutes later, dropping their bags on the floor and grabbing a change of clothes. There was a party at a bar downtown, and everyone was invited. By everyone, that meant all the players and whoever they decided to bring along. “I don’t actually know who booked the place,” Mat said, pulling one leg through a pair of black jeans. “Segs, maybe?” Out of anyone she had met that weekend, Tyler Seguin renting out a bar would surprise her the least. It was kind of sweet, she thought, zipping up her ankle boots, that the teams could check each other on the ice and then go celebrate together after. Being in the hockey world was really just like having a weird, dysfunctional family. 

“You ready to go?” Cass asked, grabbing a jacket. 

“After you,” Mat said, opening the door. They met a handful of others in the lobby, and the group grabbed a pair of Ubers over to the venue. It was packed by the time they got there, most of the players hanging out in the roped-off section  towards the back. Mat helped her up, grabbing them a pair of what she’s pretty sure were whiskey sours, and introducing her to everyone they ran into. She couldn’t keep track of all the names, there was Nathan MacKinnon and Seth Jones and the Tkachuk brothers and a half dozen other players she didn’t recognize. “Please, for the love of God, shave the mustache,” she said to Auston, sipping her drink and staring at him judgily. “It’s not a good look.” He waved her off good-naturedly, and she smacked his shoulder as she walked back to Mat, wrapping her free arm around his front and kissing his shoulder. 

“Let’s dance, chou,” Cass said, shucking off her jacket and leaving it on a spare chair. Mat smiled, taking her hand and guiding her out to the dance floor, where a mix of hockey and decidedly-not-hockey couples were gathered under the bright lights. Ah, sweat, the great equalizer. 

“Do you think any of these Florida men are, you know, Florida Men?” Mat asked over the noise. Cass threw her head back laughing, remembering their first real conversation. 

“Absolutely. We’re going to get pulled into their gator cult.”

It was Mat’s turn to laugh. “I’ll protect you.”

“I’m swooning,” Cass replied. “You’re my knight in shining armor, Mathew.” 

Cass sat down her second drink of the night onto a nearby table, draping her arms around his neck. His hands snaked around her to the back of her waist, pulling her up against him, pulling her closer. She couldn’t even say what song was playing, some dance remix of a top-40 hit that the DJ in the corner was more than likely butchering, but she didn’t care. All she could think about was Mat’s hands on her and how he made her feel. For once in her life, Cass felt like she didn’t have any pressing responsibilities. For one night, she didn’t have the weight of the world on her shoulders. She was 24, and she was going to party like she was 24. 

Cass leaned up to Mat, kissing him, whimpering when his tongue slipped between her lips. In a normal context, Cass never would have done something like that in public, and maybe it was the alcohol talking, but she finally couldn’t care less what people thought of them. “I don’t think the girls behind us know I speak Spanish,” she murmured, his face still so close she could feel him breathing, “because they’re all talking about how hot you are.” Mat laughed, letting his hands down a little more than was respectable. “Soy mexicana, hablo español,” she said over her shoulder, raising one eyebrow as the girls blushed and hurried off. “Now where were we?”

They kissed for what felt like hours, until her lips were starting to get puffy and she needed to come up for air. “I’m going to get another drink. You want anything?” 

“Gimlet?” Mat asked hopefully, giving Cass a peck on the cheek as she made her way to the bar. Waiting among the throngs of people vying for the bartender’s attention, she threw her hair up in a high pony. It may have been January, but it was still Miami and they were still in a club — it was hot as hell. Five minutes later, she had finally shoved her way to the front, ordering Mat’s gimlet and a mojito for herself. Cass scrolled through her Instagram feed as she waited, sensing someone who she assumed was Mat off to her right side. 

“Hey,” she said, looking up, expecting to see her boyfriend. It wasn’t her boyfriend. The men was a little taller than Mat, blond instead of brunet, and any other time, she probably would have been all over him. She wished she hadn’t started a conversation.

“Hey,” he said, resting an elbow on the bar. “What’s your name?” 

“Cassidy,” she said, flashing him a tight smile. He didn’t deserve the nickname. 

He nodded. “Cool, cool. That’s a beautiful name. I’m Justin. Can I buy you a drink?” He was clearly a few in himself, not enough to be drunk but more than enough to engage in a spectacularly poor decision-making process.

“I’ve already ordered one, thanks.” Cass was trying to negotiate, walking the fine line between politeness and interest, hating that she had to talk to someone she didn’t want to just in the interest of safety.

 “You from the area?”

She had to stop herself from rolling her eyes, willing the bartender to come back with the drinks. “No, not really. Just visiting. Leaving tomorrow,” she said, hoping that that would be enough of a hint to get him off of her back. As it turned out, that would be simply too big of an ask. 

“Then I guess we’ve got to make the most of tonight, huh?” Gross, she thought. She wasn’t leading him on, wasn’t doing anything more than making polite conversation so he wouldn’t get even more pissed at her, so what gave him the right?

“Listen, Justin,” she said, finally turning and facing him. “That’s not my style. And I have a boyfriend.”

He cracked a smile, clearly not buying it. As subtly as she could, she tried to find Mat, but she couldn’t. Maybe he had gone to the bathroom? And she didn’t want to leave without having gotten their drinks, cocktails didn’t come cheap and she didn’t want to throw her money away. “It’s okay, babe, you don’t have to play that game with me. He’s not here.” 

“I’m not interested.”

“Hey, come on,” Justin said, inching closer and growing more aggressive by the second. “I was just trying to be nice. Don’t have to be such a bitch about it.” She took a deep breath, about to flag down the bouncer and tell her that this guy just wasn’t taking no for an answer, but she didn’t have to. 

“What’s going on here?” That voice, she recognized. That voice was Mat. Cass let out a sign of relief, gladly moving to the side and letting Mat step in between them. 

“This the boyfriend?” Justin asked with disdain. 

Mat arched an eyebrow. “Yeah, I’m ‘the boyfriend,’ but it shouldn’t matter. She’s not interested, and you’re having trouble respecting that.”

Justin huffed. “Fine, She wouldn’t have been worth it anyway.” Cass had to grab Mat’s wrist to stop him from going after the guy. 

“God, I wanted to punch that guy,” Mat said, running a hand through his hair and visually inspecting her. “You okay? Did he do anything?”

She shook her head. “No, thank God. A little shook up, but nothing serious. He just didn’t know how to take no for an answer.”

He kissed the top of her head, grabbing the drinks from the bartender, who had just slid them over. “You good to stay?” He wouldn’t have blamed her if she wanted to leave.

Cass shook her head. “No, I’m good. Liquor me up.”

“As you wish,” Mat said, handing her the glass. 

The two made their way back to the cordoned-off section, where Cass downed the entirety of her mojito in under 10 minutes. She wasn’t in a sipping mood. Then someone from the Pacific Division — maybe they were on the Sharks? — bought the whole room a round, then she finished half of Mat’s Whiteclaw. Then somehow, she was goaded into body shots. 

“You cool with this?” Mat asked as she scrambled up onto the table. Cass nodded quickly, trying to control her giggles. 

“Yeah, yeah. I’m good,” Cass said, scrunching the bottom of her shirt up, trying not to think about what her mom would think if she saw her right now. 

Someone had obviously made a run to one of the bars, returning with a bowl of limes and a saltshaker. She tried not to think of how good it felt when his tongue ran over her stomach, licking up the salt, tried to distract herself when his head was ducked just above where her shirt barely covered her bra, throwing back the tequila, and definitely didn’t want to think about his lips just barely touching hers to grab the lime wedge. He threw away the wedge and bro-hugged a few of his onlooking friends, collapsing over Cass in laughter and kisses while he helped her off of the table. 

A little under an hour and a few more drinks later, most of the group had finally decided to call it quits. To put it technically, everyone was shitfaced. A few people luckily still had the wherewithal to call Ubers, and they split up with Instagram handles written in eyeliner on hands to cars grouped by hotel. It was her, Mat, Seguin, and someone’s little sister packed into a white Honda Civic, Mat lazily kissing Cass’s neck, shoulder, anywhere he could reach. They tipped the driver  — very well — before stumbling into the elevators, saying goodbye to Tyler, who was the floor below them. She barely managed to wipe off her makeup and brush her teeth before falling into bed with Mat, who immediately draped his arm over her waist and pulled her into his chest. Even drunk, she wasn’t complaining. 

---

Jan. 31 (sun)

 Cass groaned, her head pounding as she looked she rolled over in bed to grab her phone, looking at the time. 9:22. Great, their flight was at noon, so there wasn’t any time for self-pity before they needed to leave. Mat was up too, rubbing his eyes with a grump look on his face. He leaned over, giving her a kiss good morning. “How are you feeling, babe?” He asked. Mat’s head wasn’t hurting too bad  — he knew he could hold his liquor just fine  — but he had never seen Cass drink as much as she had last night. 

“Ugh,” Cass moaned, pressing the heels of her hands to her temples. “It was so much fun, but I’m never doing that again. I don’t think I’ve been this hungover since the SAE color party junior year.”

“Oh yeah,” Mat mused, “I forgot you were a sorority girl,” he said in sing-song. 

Cass huffed. “I was president, thank you very much.”

“Does my sorority girl need an Advil?” Mat asked. 

“Your sorority girl will punch you if you keep saying that, but yes. Advil would be much appreciated.”

Mat padded away, returning from the bathroom a moment later with the bottle in his hand. He shook two out, grabbing her water bottle from the nightstand and unscrewing the cap. “Here you are.”

“Thank you,” Cass said, flashing him a small, begrudged, but genuine smile. “You’re really too good to me, Mat.”

He kissed her shoulder, pulling a t-shirt over his head. “You deserve it.”

---

Feb 13 (sat)

 Cass’s hair was thrown up in a messy bun as she padded through the aisle of the grocery store. Shopping duties rotated every week, and it was her turn for errands. She handed her card over to the cashier, pulling out her bag-of-bags and beginning to separate. Fridge. Fridge. Pantry. Freezer. Pantry. Errands had always been somewhat of a soothing activity for her; Cass liked just being able to listen to her music and drive around and go into stores for a reason, not just to kill time. As much as she loved spending time with Mat and her roommates and her friends at law school, the constant human interaction could get draining sometimes, and the precious few free hours were alone time she craved. Loading all the bags into her trunk, she set off for the CVS. The bathroom was running out of soap, she needed a box of tampons, and she had gotten a call that the refill on her birth control was ready. 

It was also the day before Valentine’s, which hadn’t always been the best time of year for Cass. It seemed like most of her Valentine’s Days had been filled with sitting alone in her room or binge-watching Bachelor reruns with friends. Or, in the case of her junior year of college, it was crying in her bedroom at the sorority house over the fact that Alex, her boyfriend of a year, had broken up with her two days prior because a relationship was just “too much work.” And Cass was all in favor of self-reflection, but that didn’t mean the rejection stung any less. They had been together for almost a year, and even though she had had other boyfriends before, he was the first one she loved, the first one she really saw a future with. So, needless to say, her track record wasn’t the best. Which she told Mat, that she didn’t want anything elaborate or extravagant, especially since he was leaving for a roadie the day after and would have to get up early. 

But they say love makes people do crazy things. And Mat didn’t want her memories of a day that, commercialized as it was, was supposed to be about celebrating love and commitment and admiration for your partner. And anyone who knew Mathew Barzal knew that he was stubborn as hell with a heart of gold. But if Cass didn’t want anything big, he wasn’t going to do anything big; as much as he would have been absolutely willing to rent out the entire damn Empire State Building just to shout from the rooftops that he was absolutely, unequivocally in love with Cassidy María Cabrera Shaw, but her comfort came before anything. He’d bend over backwards to make her know how much he cared. But this was also Mat Barzal, and Mat Barzal never did anything halfway. 

So it really wasn’t a surprise at all when, just as Cass pulled into her parking spot and killed the gas on her car that her phone lit up with a text from Mat. Picking you up at 5:30 tomorrow. Dress like you’re going to a diner. 

[searchingwardrobes]

Priceless: 9/9

Here it is, finally, the long-promised happy ending! This chapter varies the most from the movie because I felt that it left a lot of questions unanswered. Mainly, how Joel Smallbone's character managed to avoid going to jail. I've also worked some canon CS into this chapter, which required changing things up.

Is Regina's legal strategy for Killian realistic? Well, I'll confess, I'm not a lawyer, but I figured if John Grisham can write a bestselling book that became a hit movie in which a main pleads not guilty to murdering his daughter's rapists in cold blood, in broad daylight, in a crowded courthouse, then I can damn well write this fic the way I want to.

Thanks once again to my beta @xhookswenchx​ for looking this over!

Summary: Summary: Desperate men often find themselves in places they never thought they would go, but for Killian Jones it would finally force him to be the hero his daughter always thought he could be. The job was simple: drive the truck, don’t open the back, don’t ask questions. But Killian Jones has never followed instructions very well …

An AU of the movie Priceless starring Joel Smallbone of For King and Country.

Rating: M for themes

Trigger warnings: This story is about human trafficking so there are discussions of rape and non-con, some of it involving minors. None of it is portrayed as positive nor is it graphically described. If you have any specific questions or concerns before reading, feel free to message me.

***But this chapter we finally leave all of that behind for the happy ending - whoop, whoop!***

Words: A little over 4k in this chapter

Also on Ao3 and a part of my series Captain Swan is My Favorite Rom-Com: 2nd Edition. This chapter ends that series! There’s also a First Edition.

Tagging: @snowbellewells​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​ @kmomof4​ @thislassishooked​ @welllpthisishappening​ @bethacaciakay​ @teamhook​ @let-it-raines​ @wellhellotragic​ @winterbaby89​ @kday426​ @ekr032-blog-blog​ @shady-swan-jones​ @sherlockianwhovian​ @shireness-says​ @spartanguard​ @superchocovian​ @scientificapricot​ @stahlop​ @delirious-latenight-laughs​ @resident-of-storybrooke​ @vvbooklady1256​ @tiganasummertree​ @nikkiemms​ @jennjenn615​ @profdanglaisstuff​ @shipsxahoy​ @cat-sophia​ @artistic-writer​ @thejacketandthehook​ @hollyethecurious​ @ultraluckycatnd​ @branlovestowrite​ @dassala​ @allofdafandoms-blog​ @snidgetsafan​ @pocket-anon​ @optomisticgirl​ @flslp87​ @onceuponaprincessworld​ @courtorderedcake​ @distant-rose​ @lfh1226-linda​

Three Months Later . . .

My hands were sweating, and I wanted to rub them on my dress pants, but Regina was adamant that I wasn’t to show any signs of nerves today. Yesterday when Emma took the stand, I had been unable to keep the emotions at bay, especially when the DA cross examined her like she was a criminal and not a victim. Yet my bloody brilliant lass hadn’t let him rattle her for a second.

I knew what a gamble this all was - pleading “not guilty.” Yet Regina thought it was my best shot at avoiding prison, and even one day back in that place was the last thing I wanted. I couldn’t be away from Alice again, and the sentence for pulling out a firearm in public was three months to a year plus a thousand dollar fine. Yet with my record, a judge could have levied an even harsher sentence if I pled guilty.

The DA was giving his closing arguments - a passionate speech about the dangers of vigilante justice and of the innocent lives that could have been lost. It sounded pretty convincing, even to me, and I worried that the jury was swallowing every bit of it. I glanced back at Liam, and he gave me the smallest of nods and smiled. Regina nudged me with her knee. Don’t look at your family and friends had been her other order, one I continuously had a difficult time obeying. Liam’s arm was still in a sling from the gunshot wound in his shoulder, and I knew he was sometimes still in pain. Yet here he was, supporting me. Elsa sat next to him, squeezing his hand comfortingly. They had both also taken the stand yesterday.

Once the DA took his seat, Regina Mills stood regally and smoothed her sensible business skirt. I had learned over the last few months that though she was no-nonsense and a bit snarky at times, she had a passion for justice and truth. The girls were in the US legally now because of her, with Anna enrolled in the local high school.

“Ladies and gentleman of the jury,” Regina began, giving them a confident smile, “I ask you to contemplate something for a moment. Why is my client on trial? First of all, he didn’t even fire his gun. That violence occurred because of the criminals he was trying to thwart. So again I ask, why is he on trial? For ensuring that Robert Gold, the head of a massive human trafficking ring, is in jail? For helping the Nevada Bureau of Investigation bring down that ring? For saving the lives of three innocent women, one of them a minor? If that’s why he’s on trial, then I’m confused. Aren’t you? Didn’t he do all he could to do the right thing, even at risk to himself? Is this behavior our society should punish?”

Regina paced for a few moments, probably to give the jury time to mull over her questions. Then she drew closer to the jury box.

“The DA says my client is a vigilante. He says my client should have gone to the police, but my client DID go to the police! It ended up that the police were involved in the trafficking ring. What was my client supposed to do? He could have walked away. He could have forgotten all about these innocent victims. But he didn’t. Instead he did the same thing that many of our forefathers did during a different era of slavery. Just like those who worked the Underground Railroad, he broke the law. He broke the law to free slaves. He knew the risk he was taking, but he took it willingly to help the oppressed. Will you join him? Will you do your part to end slavery today? Will you stand up against even our own justice system that so often looks the other way? Stand up with my client. Find him not guilty. For he isn’t a criminal - he’s a hero. Thank you.”

Regina barely glanced my way as she sat, cool and composed. It was quite the speech, though I wasn’t sure I was as noble as she had led the jury to believe.

The jury filed out of the room to deliberate, and the rest of the courtroom was given a recess by the judge. David and Mary Margaret paid my bail when I was arrested, so I didn’t have to go back into custody. Instead, I embraced Emma and squeezed her hand as she smiled tremulously up at me. Liam came over and clapped me on the shoulder. Even Tiana had come all the way from New Orleans to support me. Mary Margaret was babysitting Alice, however. We didn’t want to expose her to the details of the trial.

“I don’t know why the jury even has to discuss anything,” Emma told me as she took both of my hands gently in hers.

“It was an amazing closing argument, Regina,” my brother said, squeezing my shoulder and beaming at Regina.

“Well, let’s not celebrate yet,” she cautioned, “you never know how a jury will go.”

“I thought you said this was my best chance!” I exclaimed.

Regina waved her hand dismissively in the air. “Oh, it is, but we discussed the risks, remember.”

“Way to build my confidence,” I grumbled.

“Hey, none of that,” Tiana admonished, placing a hand on my forearm, “everything Regina said is true. You deserve thanks, not punishment. Alice is so proud of you, and so am I.”

I swallowed a sudden lump in my throat at her words. Tiana didn’t give forgiveness and second chances easily, and I was humbled to have received both from her in the past few months.

Emma still hadn’t released my hands. If anything, she was clasping them harder. I suddenly realized she was trembling.

“Emma?” I asked gently, tipping her chin up. I was alarmed to see that she was crying.

“If they send you to jail for this -”

“Hey, hey,” I soothed, bringing her closer and wrapping my arms around her, “it’s going to be alright. I’m a survivor, love.”

She turned her face into my chest, and I felt her tears wet the fabric of my shirt. I wished I could promise her that they wouldn’t find me guilty, but how could I? I pulled out a gun that I didn’t even have a permit for in a public park. A man died because of me. I may not have pulled the trigger that sent the bullet through Neal Cassidy’s heart, but that didn’t mean I didn’t have a hand in his death.

Although I’d be lying if I said his death was heavy on my conscience. It wasn’t. I couldn’t muster a modicum of remorse for him. Emma was safe and alive, so was Elsa. We had gotten Anna out of there before her innocence was shattered forever. I would do it all again if I had to, even if I went to jail for the next three years. It would shatter my heart to be away from Alice, but at least I could look her in the eye without shame.

Much too soon, the jury filed back in, and the judge called for everyone to take their seats. I wanted to ask Regina if a short deliberation was good or bad, but my nerves were too on edge. I clasped my hands in my lap and stared at them, unable to gather enough courage to look at the jury.

“Has the jury reached a verdict?”

“We have your honor.”

I held my breath.

“We the jury find the defendant . . . not guilty.”

Behind me, my friends and family cheered. I felt Liam’s good arm come roughly around my shoulders, and he shook me in an exuberant hug. Overcome, I lifted both my trembling hands to my face and couldn’t stop the tears of relief.

It was over. Finally.

On shaking legs, I rose and turned to those who had supported me so well throughout this entire nightmare. Emma let out a cry and flung herself into my arms, peppering my face with chaste kisses. I cupped the back of her head, threading my fingers through the strands of her ponytail. I was pulled from her arms, however, by first David, then Tiana, then Elsa. Even Regina embraced me. But my mind was never far from Emma and the future we could now have together.

***********************************************

I knocked on the door frame of Emma’s room at the Nolan’s, but she didn’t even turn to look my way. I hadn’t pursued anything more than friendship with her for the past three months. For one, I wanted her to heal from her trauma, and for another, I knew my future was uncertain. Even now, I didn’t want to rush her, but I also couldn’t hold back my feelings any longer. My love for her had only grown as she had supported me through the trial.

“Come in,” she said softly, her gaze focused on her hands clasped in her lap.

“What do you think?” I asked as I gently eased down on the bed next to her. She turned her face further away from me.

“I think it’s great.”

“Great? The Nolan’s are perfect for this kind of work, and so is this land.”

“It’s been nice of them to put us all up here.” She finally shifted towards me, yet her head was still down. “I think it’s time for me to move on, though.”

I frowned. “Move on? But didn’t you hear them? Didn’t you look at the plans? They plan on building two dormitories on the old grazing land,” I took Emma’s hand gently in mine and added softly, “and several family homes.”

“I know,” she told me, finally lifting her gaze to mine. Tears were welling up in her eyes, but I couldn’t figure out why.

“One of them will be Elsa and Liam’s, you know.”

Emma finally smiled. “Yes, I know. She loves him so much.”

“And he loves her,” I infused emotion into my voice and stroked Emma’s knuckles with my thumb, hoping she would catch my meaning.

She lowered her eyes again and stared at the motion of my thumb. “And Anna will be living here with the Nolans until she graduates at least.”

“Aye, as she should. The Nolans have been named her legal guardians, and it won’t surprise me if they adopt her.”

Only half of Emma’s lips turned up in a smile. “I’m so happy.”

“You don’t sound happy.” I lifted her chin so she would look at me again. Tears were rolling down her cheeks. “My love,” I whispered, brushing at her tears with the pad of my thumb, “what’s wrong?”

“I’m happy for my sisters. Ever since this whole thing started, that’s been my only goal. Get them out, help them start over.” She took in a shaky breath, then let it out slowly, as if gathering her strength. “But it was never for me - starting over. It was too late for me; I’ve always known that. I don’t want their pity, or yours, so I think . . . I think it’s best that I move on. Find my own place.”

Her words were like a punch to the gut. I thought we had grown closer as the weeks had gone by; I thought she shared my feelings. Had I read her completely wrong?

“Emma, none of us pity you. Your sister’s love you. I love you.”

She rose from the bed and stepped away from me, hugging her middle. “I know you all do, and I appreciate all you’ve done -”

I cut her off, “I don’t think you understand me.” I rose and went to her, gently turning her to face me. “I love you Emma, with all my being - body and soul. My heart belongs to you Emma, and I want nothing more than to always, always be by your side.”

Her eyes widened, and she choked on a sob. I cupped her face in my hands and pressed my forehead to hers.

“You deserve so much more, Killian. You deserve a happy ending with Alice.”

“No, love, don’t you understand? It’s you, always you. There’s no happy ending without you as a part of our lives.”

I tried to pull her closer, wrap my arms around her, but she backed out of my embrace. “Killian,” she choked out, pressing her fist to her mouth, “I’m . . . I’m pregnant.”

Sobs overtook her body then, and she pressed her hands to her face. I deflated then, understanding flooding through me. I pulled her tenderly to me, letting her tears wet the front of my shirt as I stroked her hair.

“Regina thought it best I do a paternity test, just to be safe. It’s crazy, but . . . rapists can ask for custody rights.”

My jaw tightened so hard, I felt a headache radiate up to my temple. “Over my dead body,” I vowed.

“Don’t make threats like that, Killian Jones, they aren’t funny anymore.” She chuckled wryly, but I heard a hint of sincerity in her voice.

She stayed there in my arms, accepting my comfort, and I brushed my lips against her temple. She sighed in contentment and snuggled closer.

“It’s Neal’s,” she finally whispered.

Relief rushed through me. I had wondered where Regina would have found DNA samples. She must have suspected - hoped even - that Neal Cassidy was the father. There was no one to threaten Emma and the child, thank God. Emma let out a long, shuddering breath, then gently pushed me away from her. Unable to speak, she backed towards the door behind her, shaking her head. It suddenly dawned on me that this was about more than her pregnancy or even Neal.

“I understand. I can’t expect your love after what I did.”

At first, her brows knit together in confusion. Then she laughed sardonically. “We both think we’re not good enough. But Killian, you can’t possibly want this - want me.”

“There’s nothing in this world I want more than you! But if it weren’t for me, you wouldn’t be in this situation at all. You wouldn’t be in therapy for ptsd, you wouldn’t be carrying that bastard’s child. How can you ever want me, Emma?”

Her eyes widened at my words, her lips parted in wonder. The heaviness that had darkened her face for so many weeks, suddenly cleared. A single tear rolled down her face, but it was different than her previous ones. She crossed the gap between us and took my face gently in her hands. I closed my eyes in shame.

“Look at me,” she ordered in a soft voice, and I reluctantly opened my eyes. Her thumbs caressed my cheeks, and for the first time that day, she smiled. “Let’s say you didn’t take the job to drive that truck. We still would have been in it. You were meant to drive it, Killian.”

Now it was my turn to gaze at her in wonder. I let her words wash over me, the truth of them seeping into my soul. Emma rose onto her tiptoes and pressed a gentle kiss to my lips. She pulled back, her smile brighter as she traced my jaw.

“Killian Jones, you’re so -”

“Handsome?” I interrupted her with a teasing smirk. “Especially when I’m angry?”

She swatted my chest gently and rolled her eyes. “How long are you gonna tease me about that?”

I pulled her close and wrapped her up in my arms. “If I have my way, for the rest of our lives.”

I bent my head, pressing my lips to hers for the first time. My heart nearly burst when she responded with urgency, parting her lips and dragging her fingers through my hair. I felt her tongue swipe against mine, and the taste of her nearly did me in. As much as I wanted to carry her to the bed and make love to her, I broke the kiss, wanting to cherish every step she allowed me to take in our relationship. I would let her take the lead. I rested my forehead against hers, our breaths mingling.

“I love you too, Killian.”

I thumbed her chin. “You are absolutely priceless, Emma.”

Three years later . . .

I saw the girl standing on the sidewalk, clad in a skin tight, animal print skirt. I motioned for Will to pull over, and I rolled my window down. She came closer, leaning against the open window to give me an ample view of her cleavage.

“Looking for some fun?” she asked me.

“I sure am,” I replied. I handed her a slip of paper. “Meet me here? Room 112?”

“I will for two hundred bucks, handsome,” she replied with an arch of her dark brows as she took the paper.

“Sounds good to me.”

She backed away from the cab, tucking the slip of paper into the dip of her low cut top and winked at me. I motioned for Will to drive on.

Fifteen minutes later, I was waiting in a dingy motel room when there was a knock at the door. The exotic brunette was on the other side, and I motioned her in. She retrieved a condom from her tiny purse, then tossed it on the room’s nightstand.

“Okay, what are you into?”

I gestured to the bed. “I’d like to just talk, if that’s okay?”

She rolled her eyes. “So you’re one of those. Whatever, it’s your money.” She sat on the edge of the bed and leaned back seductively, crossing one long leg over the other.

I stepped to the door and opened it. I leaned out and called for Emma. When I ushered her into the hotel room, the girl’s eyes widened. She sat up abruptly and for the first time looked nervous.

“What the hell is this? If you want a threesome, you gotta pay extra!”

Emma shook her head as she sat down slowly on the opposite bed. I stayed near the door, which I left cracked open so the girl wouldn’t feel trapped.

“We don’t want anything like that,” Emma explained gently. “I only want to talk to you.”

The girl’s nerves only seemed to grow as her gaze bounced from Emma to me and back again. “Oh my God, are you two cops?”

“No,” we both assured her softly.

“Religious nuts?”

We both laughed and shook our heads.

“What’s your name?” Emma asked her.

The girl shifted nervously. “Jade.”

Emma shook her head gently. “What’s your real name?”

The girl bit her lower lip, but I noticed it tremble slightly nonetheless. “Jasmine.”

“They called me Swan, but my name is Emma.”

I watched Jasmine’s expression change as realization dawned. “No one’s making me do this,” she told Emma firmly.

“That doesn’t mean you chose it, though,” Emma said softly. “I mean, when you were a little girl, was this your dream?”

Jasmine’s head dropped and she clasped her hands together. “This world is no place for dreams.”

“There is hope, Jasmine, I promise,” Emma said. “Could I tell you a story?”

It was silent in the room for a long, pregnant moment. Finally, Jasmine raised her head to look Emma in the eye and then slowly nodded.

“I came to the US illegally. I trusted these men who said they would help me, but they lied. My sister’s and I were in the back of this truck. It was dark, and we were hungry and dirty . . . “ Emma turned to me and held out her hand. I took it and sank onto the hotel bed next to her. “Then the light flooded in . . . “

************************************************************

I was awakened by Emma’s cold feet sliding between my calves. My eyes fluttered open to find her nuzzled against me, her hair tickling my nose. I wrapped my arms more tightly around her and sighed in contentment. It had been another long Saturday night, but a satisfying one. Jasmine had come home with us, and Mary Margaret had wasted no time getting her settled in the women’s dormitory. Tiana had been alerted, and she would make sure Jasmine met with her for counseling over the next few days. Elsa and Liam had been less successful, unable to get two teenage girls off the streets. They were too afraid of what their pimps might do to them if they left. The work was never easy, and we had to focus on the positive or the enormity of it would become overwhelming.

One of the positives was here in my arms. I would never stop feeling awe over the gift of her love. My hand drifted down to rest upon the swell of her stomach. Emma hummed in contentment against my collarbone and pressed herself closer to me. My body responded to her as it always did, and I lowered my lips to her jaw. She gasped and tilted her head back to give my better access. Her fingers began to scratch at the nape of my neck.

“I’ve got morning breath,” she giggled breathlessly.

“Then I’ll kiss you in other places,” I teased.

She gave out a little mewling sound that made my body thrum even more. Her morning sickness had passed, and in her second trimester she had become a quivering mess of desire. She’d been the same with Henry.

Before our morning activities could go any farther, however, two small bodies hurled themselves onto the bed. Ten year old Alice, all gangly arms and legs, sent Emma and I sprawling apart as she wedged herself between us. Three year old Henry crawled over his mother, dragging his favorite stuffed bear behind him. Emma laughed and rolled over, cuddling Henry close.

“You two still don’t understand how late we have to work sometimes,” I grumbled.

Next to me, Emma only laughed more brightly as she tickled Henry’s tummy. The boy wriggled away, crawling over his big sister who complained loudly as she swatted at him, then straddled me and started bouncing as if I were a horse.

“But we’re supposed to go riding today, Papa,” Alice reminded me, “you promised.”

“She’s got you there,” Emma put in.

“Horsey, horsey, horsey!” Henry cheered, bouncing even more enthusiastically. “Horsey, Papa!”

“I didn’t mean in the morning,” I moaned.

“It isn’t morning,” Alice countered, “I just made me and Henry peanut butter sandwiches for lunch. It’s after noon already.”

Emma slid up against the headboard and opened her arms for Alice. The girl grinned and cuddled up next to her mother, a sight that would never fail to warm my heart. Emma ran her fingers through Alice’s hair while our daughter rested her hand against the swell of her mother’s stomach. Suddenly, Alice gasped.

“She kicked me!”

“She did!” Emma exulted, resting her hand next to Alice’s. “She must want to say hello to her big sister.”

Alice grinned and leaned over Emma’s stomach. “Hello, Hope, I can’t wait to meet you. We’ll have so much fun playing together.”

Emma’s eyes glistened with unshed tears as she caught my gaze, but I knew they were happy ones. The same joy she felt was flooding my own heart. Our family came about in a crazy way, but we were more than blessed with what we’d built together.

***********************************************************

Emma and I walked slowly across the grass, hand in hand. Ahead of us, Alice and Henry raced to the corral. They scrambled up the fence to lean forward and feed the horses carrots they had brought. Their Uncle Liam and Aunt Elsa were on the other side to greet them, their two year old cousin Ian astride a dappled pony. The curly headed boy had a tiny helmet strapped to his head, making an absolutely adorable picture.

Next to me, Emma sighed in contentment as she wrapped her arms around my waist. I lowered my head to brush a kiss to her golden hair. The picture in front of us: our family, the horses, the mountains in the distance, and the bright spring sunshine filled my chest with unexplainable joy. I looked down into Emma’s face; her emerald eyes sparkling in the early afternoon light.

“I love you more than I could ever say,” she told me.

I turned her towards me and cupped her face in my hands. “Emma, you are more precious to me than all the treasure in this world. I have my happy ending now because of you.”

She shook her head gently. “That isn’t what this is.”

My brow furrowed. “It’s not?”

“It’s a happy beginning.”

I lowered my face to kiss her deeply, knowing down to my very soul the truth of her words.

[bisexualfelicity]

Criminal - Olicity Clue Challenge

My entry for Olicity Clue @olicitytropes, prompts at the end of the fic! 

Fic not betaed, so please excuse any mistake!

Oliver has been in police stations many times during his lifetime. He has been arrested and, more recently, stood on the other side of the law, side by side with the police to take down criminals. But never has he been so confused.

When he received a call from a detective, he thought it was something Arrow related. It was not. 

So, instead of going to the bunker and suiting up, he finds himself running to the precinct in his work clothes, unable to believe his ears. Felicity is already there when he arrives, talking to Quentin. 

“Where is he?” He says in place of greeting. 

“We have him in interrogation room B,” Lance answers, and holds his hand up to stop Oliver from interrupting him before he can continue. “Don’t worry, the boy is fine. You’re lucky I was here when they brought him in, we are leaving him with just a verbal warning. I don’t imagine your son being seen doing community service would do well for your rating,” Lance laughs but Oliver fails to find humor in the situation. “You both can see him and I’ll get the release papers.”

Oliver doesn’t grunt. But he definitely wants to. 

“Are we believing this?” Felicity asks as soon as Quentin leaves, “There’s no way William’s done any of that. If he said Mia broke out of daycare and committed a crime, I’d say sure, that sounds like something that could happen. But William? Our William? Nope. There’s got to be an explanation.”

She’s not wrong. Well, maybe about the Mia bit, his three years-old might be a little chaotic, but she’s far from committing crimes. But he would also say the same about his teenager son. Before he can think harder about it, he goes to room B, and finds his son there with his hands in his face and looking more nervous than Oliver has seen in years. 

William is a responsible child. He’s nothing like Oliver was in his age, his grades are great, he’s focusing in applying to college, likes playing video games more than parties and he spends more time with his little sister than with people his own age. He’s a teacher’s pet, for god’s sake. He’s the opposite of a troubled teen. 

But they say the tree doesn’t fall far from the tree and Oliver is about to discover what was it like for his parent’s to pick him up from jail all those times in his youth. 

“Will, honey, what’s going on?” Felicity is already by his side, hugging him, “Did someone force you to do that? Are they bullying you again? Because you could have told us. We will kick their ass, minors or not,” she starts rambling, but William answer is to just get red and Oliver knows without question that no one forced William to do anything.

“Felicity,” he says, touching her shoulders and telling her in silent to let him handle this. “They said you were caught breaking into the Summit Institute and hacked into their files?”

“Yes, but…”

“That’s not even where you go to school!” Felicity interjects. 

“So you admit that, instead of going to a friend’s place to study after classes like you told us you’d do, you went to Summit Institute, got in there without any authorisation, went into the principal’s office, hacked your way into his computer and changed private files?” Oliver asks, pausing, still trying to believe his words. He doesn’t need William to say anything though, his answer is all over his face.

“You’re not allowed to judge me! You guys do crimes all the time!” William yells, his face red, with anger or shame, Oliver doesn’t know. 

“We… don’t do that anymore. You know vigilante work has been legalized,” Oliver argues, even though he knows it’s not all true, “And don’t turn it around to us. Yes, we have broke the law many times, but it was always to help people. We were trying to stop criminals. Were you trying to stop a crime?”

“Maybe!” William says and Oliver only continues to stare at him. If he’s considering a life of crime, he should really learn how to lie better. “Okay, no. I wasn’t stopping any crime. But I was trying to help someone.”

His face goes a whole new fade of red and the situation starts to take shape for Oliver. He looks to his wife, who has seated next to their son and now has a soft look on her face.

“Do you want to tell us what happened?” Felicity asks.

“No, I don’t,” he sighs but Felicity pokes him on the side and he finally smiles, “It was dumb, I’m sorry. I’m not going to do it again, ok?”

“Tell us what happened, Will,” Oliver says again and hopes his use of the nickname shows that he’s not angry at his son. 

“It’s… I met this boy Adam at the college tour last month. And we’ve been talking, you know? And I mentioned I’m good with computers and he got a really bad grade in English and he just wanted that changed. It was no big deal. The school system is not remote, so I needed to be on site to do anything and I told him that, and he said he could get me in and I could change it for him… Because with his grades he would never be accepted in a good college, and if I changed, maybe we could even go to the same college,” William explains everything so fast that, if Oliver wasn’t paying attention closely, he’d lose parts of the story.

Oliver can’t do anything but sigh at the story. It sounds to him like this Adam is just using William, but he doesn’t want to crush his son’s heart. 

“And where is Adam now?”

“I don’t know, he was supposed to guard the door for me, but when he saw a security guard coming, he ran away and I didn’t see him after. The cop confiscated my phone so I couldn’t text him either.”

So this Adam bailed on him. Oliver finds himself anger at this unknown teenager and needs to focus on his son again. Adam doesn’t matter. 

“What were you even thinking when you accepted doing that, Will?”

“I was just doing him a favor, dad. It wasn’t anything terrible! You’ve done a lot of worse when you were young.”

“Your father is not an example to be followed,” Felicity says, “I mean, in his youth. You should follow who he is now. He’s great now. But he used to suck. You don’t want to be like that.”

“You used to hack all the time too!” William answers, getting angry at the judgement, “You’ve told me about it. You were a hacktivist!”

“Yes… But I didn’t get caught, did I?” Felicity says with a smile and Oliver has to roll his eyes, even when his wife just laugh at him, knowing it’s not the point. “Even if the security guard hadn’t seen you there, which, by the way, happened because you didn’t disable any camera, you also left a lot of evidence behind in the computer, making it so easy for them to see what you had altered. Come on, Will. If you don’t know how to clean all evidence, you’re not ready for hacking.”

“No,” Oliver interjects, pointing as his wife, “You’re never ready for hacking.”

“Not while you’re a minor,” Felicity completes.

“Never,” Oliver says but sees in his wife’s face that she’s not agreeing. 

He supposes he has no right to judge any of them.

“You don’t need to hack for someone to be your friend. They should like you without any favor.”

“I know that, I’m not dumb. I was just… trying to impress him, I guess. You fell in love with Felicity like that, I’ve heard the story.”

“It’s… not that simple,” Oliver says but his certainty is starting to falter. 

“Yes, it was a lot more nuanced. A lot more saving the world and flirting through tasks than just committing crimes together.” 

William doesn’t seem so convinced but neither of them say anything else. They’ll have this talk again later. Now, they have to get Mia in daycare and get home. He leaves William and Felicity talking, pretending that he doesn’t hear Felicity scold their son on his hacking abilities and goes find Lance.

“The papers” Quentin tell him as he leaves the room, “Was giving you time to talk to him. Gotta say, Oliver, going back to life has been worth just to see your face seeing your son in jail. That’s payback for all you’ve done when you were young.”

“Yeah, guess I deserve that,” he tells Lance, too stressed to appreciate the irony.

“Boy, you deserved much worse than William. He’s a good boy, you know that. I was hearing your conversation from the double mirror, he’s just trying to recreate what you and Felicity have.” 

“He’s doing that all in the wrong way.”

“Well, you’ll just have to watch him do his mistakes. That’s being a parent. Breathe in, because I’m sure little Mia is going to teach you these lessons even more than William here.”

Finally, Oliver laughs at that and goes back to find Felicity and William out of the room. His son is going to be okay. Even though he hates the idea of seeing William in a police station, evidences against him, knows too well how shameful those experiences were for him, he has to remember that William is not him. 

William is not doing that for lack of attention, because he doesn’t care about others or whatever reasons Oliver told himself he committed stupid crimes. He’s doing it for love. 

Good motive, still a crime. 

But he remembers all the hacking Felicity did for him, and can’t stop himself from smiling. It might not have been that simple, but he’s also not that far off. 

That said, he’s still getting grounded.

prompts: evidence, police station, Quentin Lance

[karihighman]

Chicago PD recap

Here are my thoughts on the Chicago PD midseason finale “Absolution” :

Upstead

Chicago PD surprisingly kicked off their episode with some subtle Upstead flirting. Hailey has followed Jay to see where he had been sneaking off to (turns out it was to help out Marcus West’s family).

She warned him about his mission, but he reassured her that he’d be okay. Yeah, if only he knew what was to come.

Because not soon after, Jay had to bail on a crime scene to go see Angela (Marcus’ wife) again. Hailey, being the nice partner that she is, covered for him, so he could leave. When Voight asked her what was up, she told him Halstead was simply working some things out.

Later in the day when Jay doesn’t show up for court, Platt comes up to the district to ask where he is. Voight immediately checks with Hailey first, as being the one Jay is closest to, she may know his whereabouts. She had no idea where he was, as she had just gotten done leaving not one or two, but three voicemails on his phone.

I personally enjoyed her line of at two “I’m annoyed”; but 3 “I’m worried.” She’s such a work wife I love that for her.

But anyhow. So they find Halstead’s car, and after Upton tells Rojas to check it (because obviously she knows Jay’s truck hehehe), they find he went under without telling anyone. They go inside the house to find lots of blood, but no Jay. And no Angela. Yikesarama, as Jesse Lee Soffer would say...

Well, Hailey knows she needs to come clean, so she tells Voight about who Angela really is. Armed with this new info, they go to work to track down people involved with Angel, & that are connected to the drug dealer who was tortured in their earlier call (the one Jay left from in a hurry).

They start putting pieces together, which unsurprisingly lead to Darius Walker. Voight makes a deal and Darius agrees to infiltrate Kevin with Pedro, the guy they know helped run the drugs. Pedro lets Kevin (undercover name, Keyshawn) talk to Jay (known as “Jimmy” to Angela) so we know he’s okay for now.

All the while, wherever the heck Jay and Angela are, he’s trying to keep her spirits up. Things get pretty painful fast though, not only physically (Angela’s stabbed in the abdomen; Jay is bleeding profusely from his head & his face has been beaten), but emotionally too in terms of conversation.

Jay finally came clean and told Angela how he really met Marcus. In prison. Because he’s the cop who arrested him. Cue the dramatic music...

An important scene

Despite this slightly good prospect, the team still has to do the exchange of Angela and Jimmy (Jay) for the drugs. Kevin meets with Pedro, who — big shock (note the sarcasm please) — doesn’t have Angela or Jay to trade off.

A shootout ensues, which led Voight to taking down one guy with a shot to the leg (which I always find entertaining when he shoots someone up. He just never ever hesitates. He gives zero fucks).

Hailey Upton tackles him down, demanding to know where her partner is. “You better hope to God he’s alright,” she scowls at the suspect. Yeah, remind me never to mess with Hailey Ann Upton. She is a freaking badass. Love it!

They play another move in their little chess game by bringing Pedro’s son in. But a significant scene happens right before then that really solidified what Rick Eid said about Hailey’s feelings surrounding Jay’s kidnapping.

Hailey is seen on the phone, wondering where the heck the boy is. You can hear her voice breaking on the end of the call with the lockup people; and you can feel her desperation when she chucks her coffee mug in the sink in frustration.

Adam heats the commotion and comes to lend a shoulder — cough cough, how it should have been in 602, but I digress - and reminds Hailey that they are gonna find Jay.

“Gotta do something,” she says sadly. You see her wipe some tears away and run a hand over her eyes, signaling just how much this is weighing on her.

When the boy shows up; they use him as leverage against the dad and they get what they need. An address. Jay, they’re coming for ya buddy!

The shocking end

What truly made Chicago PD stand out amongst the rest of the finales was their twist ending.

Jay had managed to wrangle himself free of his piped restraints & gave Angela a weapon to protect herself while he took down the offender upstairs.

Remember when Jay confessed his real identity? Fans waited on pins & needles, but thankfully Angela did not sell him out. But hold on, we’re not done yet.

Outside, Intwlligence is trying to find a way inside the stash house. The only one who can get in? A teeny tiny Tracy Spiridakos (no seriously, she squeezed through a hole in the window like, yay big...dang). So up goes Hailey — alone, mind you. She’s offline, she’s gone dark. I’m over here worried something’s gonna happen to her. (But it doesn’t).

The good news? SHE FINDS JAY! Hailey runs to her partner, her voice pleading with him to be okay as she asks. Her eyes don’t really wanna know the answer though as she looks him over. Jay looks at her, and you see a literal sigh of relief on his face that she’s here. Because she means safety. She means he’s getting out of there alive.

“Hey.”

“Hey, are you okay?”

He nods, but remembers Angela. He tells her to stay here (such a good work husband he is!), but that he has to go get Angela from downstairs. Hailey remains upstairs while the camera follows Jay down.

What ensues is something I didn’t see coming. Like seriously not in a million years.

Angela, armed with a gun somehow now, shoots Jay. It’s unclear if it’s in the shoulder or more on his chest, but either way, he goes down for the count.

And that — yes THAT — is how the episode ends. A “to be continued” flashes across a black screen & I am a bucket of emotions. Don’t even get me started on that promo.

And that concludes my semi professional recap of Chicago PD. Now allow me to express my fangirl emotions below:

OH MY FUCKING GOD I CANT BELIEVE ANGELA SHOT JAY AND THAT HE WAS RIPPED AWAY FROM HAILEY YET AGAIN AND SHE DOESNT EVEN KNOW HES BEEN SHOT YET MY UPSTEAD HEART CANT TAKE THIS!!!!

Seriously though, can someone give Jesse Lee Soffer an Emmy? Also nominate Tracy Spiridakos for one too please. Thank you. They deserve it.

I just — Hailey’s look she gave Jay before he left. It was the purest most genuine form of love there is. Like it’s not really so much about what kind of love it is; but more so that it happened at all. In all my years of watching this show, I can’t remember a time when Erin gave him that kind of look. Sure, she was relieved when he was alive in 301; but this, this was different.

Hailey was pouring all her emotions into that look. Just like she always has with Jay. And he was doing the same with her. Because that’s what works between them. And this episode showed everyone (like legit, everyone in Intelligence) how much Hailey cares for Jay. Not just in a partner way. But a “I’m gonna do whatever it takes to get him back because I need him in my life as more than that” way. Because it’s true. She needs him. She loves him. And he needs and loves her too. So that’s why Jay has to be okay — because he needs to get back to Hailey so all can be right in the world again. That’s all I can say.

[psychic-master-will-archive]

Writober, Day 1: Fears

It took Will a good minute to collect himself, and it took even longer to look up into his bathroom mirror. A part of him wondered why he even bothered; simply staring at himself wasn’t going to give him the confidence he needed, nor would it lead to him suddenly loving himself after years of self hatred. Yet another part, the part that brought him here, said otherwise. This part told him that, if he wanted to get to a better place, then he needed to start small and start somewhere. This was his starting point.

The white cloth obscuring his eyes stared back to him out of the mirror. Behind them as a sight he had always avoided looking at, for whenever he did, horrible memories would resurface. Even when he would shower or bathe, he always avoided the mirror until he could put the mask back on. The mask was a safety net; a barrier to keep the bad out while giving him the means to go out in public without anxiety and panic taking over. The mask was the result of years of crafting a persona, one that led to him forgetting who he was, and forgetting a time where he never wore it. The mask was the most crucial aspect of his wardrobe, and while the style of it changed through the years to match his various outfits, the purpose had been the same. 

It was also this mask that, while providing him with safety and comfort, also stood in his way. The barrier it provided helped him to shut out people for years, even his own family. In fact, up until this point, there had only been one to see him without it, and that was enough to leave him shaken. In recent days, and years, he had started to shed his mask multiple times, but each time filled him with a dread he couldn’t shake. He believed the responses he would get would mimic those he had gotten in the past; each one laced with a hatred and anger over something he never asked for, nor had any control over. He expected people to lash out when they saw him as he truly was without the mask, which was why he was adamant about wearing it. Yet, the responses he ended up getting were the exact opposite.

As he continued to stare at himself in the mirror, the positive reactions to his eyes came to the forefront of his mind. The first was Karen, who had told him time and time again that there was nothing wrong, and that he was being silly for wearing the thing in the first place. Her opinion had softened over the years, once she had learned the true depth of his insecurities and self hatred, but the initial point remained: There’s nothing wrong with them.

Then there was Lance who, since the first time he caught Will without his mask, was taken by his eyes. He would tell Will that they were beautiful, and will could tell that Lance was drawn to them. He mentioned something about their hue was captivating, though Will himself could never see it.

Following Lance came Grimsely who, also by accident (and on Will’s part), caught a good long look at his eyes. He said much the same as Lance, though with more of an emphasis on how gorgeous they were and how he shouldn’t hide such a thing from the world. He then went further to say that he was cute, something that Will struggled to accept. To Will, his eyes were a reminder of something ugly and far more sinister; they were as far from gorgeous as you could get, and they certainly didn’t make him cute. 

But was that even true? Were Karen, Lance, and Grimsley right? Was there something about them that Will couldn’t see? Was he wrong? 

There was only one way to find out.

Taking a deep breath, Will reached up and removed the first barrier, one of many that would come crumbling down, though he didn’t know it yet. Placing it on the counter of the bathroom sink, Will looked back up at his reflection and was, like the others, immediately drawn to his eyes. While most would think that they would be lilac in hue, they were actually a deep violet colour. Not as dark as his hair, but dark enough to truly stand out. He had never paid much attention to the colour before, though the longer he stood and stared at them, the more he began to see why others were drawn to them.

However, he noticed that one eye was duller than the other, and looked fairly cloudy. This was the result of trauma inflicted upon it due to his childhood, and it was because of that incident that he started donning a mask in the first place.

‘You just don’t learn, do you, freak?’

‘He probably thinks his brother is going to come to his rescue and bail him out. Shame that even he abandoned him.’

‘You knew better than to go where you didn’t belong, and now we gotta teach you a lesson.’

‘Your kind isn’t welcome here.’

‘Don’t worry; we’ll put you in your place.’

‘No one can help you, because no one likes you. You can understand that much, right?’

‘He’s only going to use his powers to scare and harm us! We gotta stop him here and now!’ 

The last comment was followed by pain as he felt many stones being hurled at him. One of the last caused a pain far worse than the ones before it, and with it came a sharp, high pitched cry laced with pain as the warm sensation of blood traveled down his face. One of the stones had embedded themselves into his eye, and when the boys saw the damage, they turned and fled, leaving Will alone to suffer in the now abandoned alleyway. It wouldn’t be until his mother found him and rushed him to the hospital that he learned his damage in that eye was permanent, and it wasn’t until later still that the cloudy hue to it made itself known, along with partial blindness.

Despite the memories flooding his mind, Will kept his eyes open and his gaze forward. If he shut his eyes now and looked away, he would be giving those boys the same power over him as they have had all these years. If he looked away now and retreated behind his mask, then this whole exercise was pointless. If he wanted to move forward and saw what others did, then he had to face it rather than hide.

As the minutes passed, so did the memories, and once the last one faded Will became aware of his hands grasping the edge of the counter tightly. He was also aware that he was trembling, and that his face was pale. Yet, his gaze remained focused on his eyes which remained the same despite reliving the memories that brought him to this point.

When he realized that nothing changed, he felt a small sense of relief. His eyes, despite what happened, were just as much a part of him as his powers, and he couldn’t change them. Sure he could get some sort of cosmetic surgery, but that wouldn’t change what happened in the past. His eyes were still a part of him, and like his powers he needed to learn to accept them, too. 

It would be a while before he could bring himself to see them as the others did, and while he had no plans to remove his mask when out in public (it was as much a part of his aesthetic as his persona), perhaps he could let it down a bit while alone, and with his coworkers at the league. After all, Karen and Lance had already seen it, and they were not repulsed. Surely Koga and Bruno would be much the same? Not to mention that he already used his powers freely around the league, despite still struggling to see them as a good thing. The more he used his powers, the more comfortable he became with them, so surely that same truth could be applied to his eyes, as well? He didn’t need to see them as beautiful to accept them, and if it took him a while to get to that point, then so be it. It was a process that couldn’t be rushed, and he had no intentions of doing so.

As he gave one last look at himself in the mirror, he was aware of the memories in the back of his mind. He was also aware that it would take time before they no longer haunted him, though he could take comfort in the fact that he faced them without having a complete breakdown this time, and that, perhaps, there would come a day where he could put it behind him. For now, though, he had to focus on one task at a time; he had to focus on growing comfortable with his eyes. If he could do it with his powers, then he could do so with his eyes, too.

With that thought in mind, Will took the mask off the counter and left the bathroom. He placed it on his bedside table, taking one last look at it before heading towards the door. While he could feel the beginnings of his anxiety stir within him, a part of him tried to focus on the positive: Their shocked reactions to his actual face would be priceless.

((Note: Will has many fears, and while there are far worse fears, all of them stem from the same place: His childhood. I decided to go this route because I want to develop his character , and this is the first step in this process.

For the fear mentioned in this entry, it would be the fear of facing his past. I hinted towards a few other things that’ll be explored at a later date, such as who Will was before the mask, and the many barriers he put in place that keep him separated from others. I also took inspiration from my Snapshot Memories fanfic, as well.))

[artloveharmony]

Vanityfest – DAY 3: SERENDIPITY or DESIGNED

From the start of Vanity’s story I have wondered how much of it was planned in advance. I know soap opera stories are plotted well head of the actual writing. It’s like a jigsaw puzzle, fusing plots and character/relationship development (if you’re lucky) into short term and long term story arcs. Therefore, fundamentally, trapping Charity and Vanessa in that cellar was thought through and outlined. But was it strictly for the purpose of expanding Vanessa’s sexuality, or did they know this would be the first step in their long term plans for Charity as well?

Although I find the idea of serendipity intriguing, my stronger instincts tell me that everything happens for a reason – whether it is of Universal/Godly design, or of our own making – intentional or unintentional. In this case, there are just too many connecting dots within Charity and Vanessa’s story for me to believe that it was entirely random and simple “luck” and happenstance. While I’m sure not all the pieces were known from the beginning, there was enough to go on which allowed them to quickly take advantage of the good fortune that did manifest as the story progressed.

I invite you to follow me as I lay out my theory that Vanity was carefully designed by the writers, piece by piece, over an extended period of time, for a very important purpose: the revitalization and renewal of a long-standing, beloved character.

Firstly, according to producers, it was decided back in 2014 that they would explore Charity’s past in greater detail than they had previously, but circumstances (Emma’s maternity leave) put that story on hold. However, before she left, they introduced DI Mark Bails as someone she knew from her childhood (such as it was). At the time, Charity shared with Debbie that he had groomed her and abused her as a teenager, though she didn’t go into much detail. To accommodate Emma’s leave, they sent Charity to prison, after she did several legitimately criminal acts (however justified).

Upon her return in 2016 the groundwork continued to be laid, the key element being that she bought half of the Woolpack and became co-landlord and barmaid. This put Charity at the center of village life, interacting with villagers on a regular basis, including characters she hadn’t previously engaged with much before. She had always been a gobby person, but now she was able to use her snarky wit to its greatest affect.

And yet, as an ambitious business woman, being a barmaid was not enough to keep her attention. Her family was also faced with pending tragedy as her granddaughter Sarah had become ill. To help her, Charity concocted some outrageous schemes, her prime métier. One of which was to execute a jewel theft with the help of ex-con Frank. This led to a twisted plot of revenge, providing the most significant connection between Charity and local vet Vanessa, Frank’s daughter.

Even though Charity and Vanessa had little to no contact with one another, from the time Vanessa arrived in town to Charity’s scheme with Frank, they were living in the same village and new all the same people. Each of them had their respective reputations, for better or worse, and they each were well aware of the other. No doubt, had they wanted to, the writers could have found another way to bring Charity and Vanessa together, but having Charity as barmaid, and Vanessa steaming about her interference with her dad’s relationship, the stage could not have been set up better to create the most seemingly random encounter – which I conclude was not so random.

Vanessa had been having her own developing journey, including falling in love with her best friend Rhona, and later an 18 year old young man, Kiran. She had a one-night-stand with her other best friend Moira’s son, Adam, which lead to a “who’s-the-daddy” scenario when Vanessa become pregnant. Ultimately Kiran was proven to be the father, but he felt unable to be a proper dad, so he left town.

It was a rocky start for single mum Vanessa. Her son Johnny was born prematurely and was in hospital for weeks, creating a disconnect between her and her child. In time they found their connection and Vanessa became a devoted mum. Then in 2017 Vanessa helped her bff Rhona get justice, when she fought back and got her rapist husband Pierce sent to prison. Connecting all these experiences together, combined with Vanessa’s temperament and loyal/caring/healing nature, it almost seems inevitable that she would be the one chosen for the fateful task ahead.

In order for Charity to open up and reveal her traumatic past, and then to actually deal with it in any healthy way (if indeed they intended her to find some healing), she needed someone she trusted enough to confide in. Even before the confession, Charity herself needed to be in a place where she would be willing to open up about her experiences.

The Charity who returned from prison was the most wounded Charity to date. Her ordeals with Jai and Declan, and her time in prison, created the most armored and defensive Charity we’d ever seen. Even before she was convicted, her dealings with Bails during the Home Farm fire investigation was that of a woman completely shut off from her emotions. When she tried telling Debbie about her experience with Bails we saw a glimpse of the pain he’d caused her, but the minute Debbie shut her down, not wanting to hear her mum’s story, Charity closed the box again.

Jump ahead to her scheming ways with Megan and Frank and we saw a woman lost. She had no direction, no focus, emotionally shut down. She was grasping at whatever and whoever she could, creating chaos at every turn, biting back at everyone, friend and foe. Bringing Mark Bails into play with THAT Charity would not have generated a healthy story in any way shape or form. Charity was completely alone, not trusting or relying on even her family. A different Charity had to develop if she was going to face up to her past and find a way forward: the story goal the writers had decided to tackle.

Thus, the decision was made: bring someone into Charity’s story that would bring trust and hope into her life; establishing a foundation upon which they could begin their true exploration of her character. Vanessa became that person. How they came to this conclusion we may never know, but as I pointed out above, she was a perfect candidate. The best part being, it would come out of nowhere. It would be a completely new, fresh relationship, which was absolutely essential for this story to work.

TO BE CONTINUED…

Please note that I know absolutely nothing about how the writers made decisions, when, and for what reasons. I don’t know them or have ever talked to them. Although that is certainly something I would kill to do.  

Everything I’m offering here is my own speculation based on what I’ve seen on the screen and bits of gleaned from interviews. It is very possible I am completely wrong about everything. I have a tendency to over analyze, so simply take this as my crazy musings. Nothing more.

[theonceoverthinker]

OUAT Rewatch: 1X01 - Pilot

Who says you can’t go home?

The “Pilot” of Once Upon a Time is almost divine in how adored it is. I write this intro just as I prepare to press play on it, and I feel an undeniable tension in my heart. Is there anything that can be said about this episode that hasn’t been said a hundred times before? Am I able to say hello again so soon after saying goodbye?

Only one way to find out. *Presses play*

This gets a little long, so I’m going to be a good Tumblarian and stick my thoughts below the cut! Hope you give them a read!

-Press Release There’s no actual press release for the “Pilot,” but let’s be real, we know the deal. Emma Swan, a bail bondsperson has one hell of a 28th birthday when the son she gave up for adoption 10 years ago - Henry Mills - comes to her doorstep. A trip back to Henry’s hometown introduces Emma to an assortment of townspeople and an even more uncanny story of heroes and fairy tales. Meanwhile, in the past, we see Snow White and Prince Charming cope and fight for their love and family as the Evil Queen threatens them with a curse most vile.

-General Thoughts For a series that needs to weave a central theme around at least two separate plots, simplicity can be one’s best friend, and the “Pilot” is the epitome of that. The plots in and of themselves are simple - a war against a tyrant with a major threat in the flashback and a woman who has never had a family now dealing with one being thrown her way. However, it feels so much bigger, and that’s because hanging around our mains are characters and settings that you just know are going to grow in addition to our mains and transform these simple realms into something greater, something epic. Surrounding Snow and Charming during their discussion in the war room are a set of dwarfs, a fairy, and a cricket, and those same characters show up in our world and at the very least, Archie and Graham hold a promise of a larger role if for no other reason than their professions. We are being promised a more epic story without ever taking away time from the main story, and that’s simply incredible. I feel like there’s so much to gush about when it comes to performances, and because I don’t want this to be super long, I’m just going to highlight some of my favorite moments from each actor and actress in a single sentence. Jennifer as Emma walking towards Ryan like she was the God damned Terminator made me laugh hard and it characterized her as someone cool and confident, allowing for later scenes to paint more of her nuances by showing her vulnerabilities and desires for people in her life. Lana as Regina has a commanding presence during the wedding scene and shows off just what kind of threat she will be to all of those in her way going forward. Ginny as Snow giving up her baby and eternally coining the line “her best chance” is heartbreaking in such a profound way and allows the tragedy of their 28-year separation to subtly play out here and more overtly carry weight throughout the rest of the series. Jared as Henry’s pleas to Emma to listen to him convey a sense of innocence and vulnerability that can bring one back to the most frustrating moments of their childhood. Josh as Charming’s determination as he rides upon his steed in those opening moments allow the audience to feel every bit of intensity and immediately give his relationship with Snow - however obvious the turnout will be - some stakes. Finally, last but certainly not least, Bobby’s chilling performance as Rumple in the jail cell - from the movements of his long fingernails toe the sickly sweet way some of his lines come across - make him suo mysterious and scary as well as give Granny’s lines about him owning the town added weight. Finally, on a funnier note, I’m not gonna lie, but I always wanted an episode that would canonize the “prettier than I” line. Come on - throw Leopold in there, we get a bit more nuance into their relationship as well as see the effects on Regina of Leopold’s neglect for her needs over Snow’s and make a Regina/Snow present plot and there could’ve been something cool!

-Insights Here’s something I noticed during the wedding scene - The necklace Regina wears is the same one that Samedi brought to her in 7x12’s flashback. See “Flip My Ship” for my feelings on that, but I will point out that this gives us new insight as to when Facilier and Regina first met, although as she’s seen wearing it as the curse hits, it’s safe to say that at least one, if not both, of them could be replacements. Another thing I noticed shortly after that I just found funny was how during Regina’s speech to the Charmings, a lot of the guests weren’t cowering as much as gently averting their gazes. While watching the war scene, I couldn’t help but contrast it to the one in the finale. Snow lacks all manner of optimism in the one in the premiere, but by the finale, she’s the epitome of optimism! The wolf always seemed really weird to me, and now that I’ve seen its full schtick throughout the seasons, I gotta say, I’m not impressed. At first, it seems like the wolf was supposed to be a protector of Storybrooke, acting as an agent against Regina. But we’ve only seen it a handful of times and it’s acted like more of a MacGuffin than anything. And MacGuffins are fine, but this one was clearly supposed to mean something and it never really did, not even really in relation to what one would think would be its focal character (Graham).

-Arcs It’s hard to do a segment for arcs when a series has just begun because, well - every arc, in essence is beginning! And honestly, they’re all good, so I’m just going to write out the arcs that have been introduced here. Emma journey of belief Snow finding Charming The power struggle against Regina

-Favorite Dynamic Emma and Regina. I wanted to point this out somewhere, but the framing of their dynamic works so well. Parents who adopt children are more parents to a child than the parents who gave them up for adoption (Unless of course the birth parents died). This is something that we (should) fundamentally understand, especially in a case like this. Regina’s lines about changing diapers, enduring tantrums, and the like are true, and we - as well as Emma - sympathize and agree with that. Her position as mayor as well as the mother of a runaway boy also asks us to question our own feelings towards Regina throughout the episode. The animosity also doesn’t happen from the moment Regina and Emma meet. However, the conflict between them is not so simple. Due to both Regina’s harsh attitude and her actions in the Enchanted Forest, there’s an unease as we watch her, and while Emma’s situation in this matter is far from ideal on any level, we trust her and believe in the bond between her and Henry because while there is harshness there, there’s also an understanding. It’s such a nuanced conflict and knowing now where it has ended - in such a state where both mothers can co-parent Henry and enjoy each other’s company - allows for me to enjoy experiencing it again and appreciate the intricate steps taken making their relationship what it was.

-Writers As you all know, this was Adam and Eddy’s first episode, and it’s pretty freakin’ good! Unfortunately, until I’ve examine more of their episodes, I don’t have a lot to say here. The one thing I do want to point out is that - just like Regina in today’s episode - they are really good at making a strong entrance!

-Culture What made the “Pilot” of Once Upon a Time so popular? I didn’t watch this episode during its initial airing, but what I do know about the time it was released was that a lot of the dramas that were released tended to be gritty. There were exceptions like ABC’s Desperate Housewives, but it was a turn for the edgy in media. And then a show like OUaT came out, one that not only promised hope, but actually allowed for a payoff in the first episode, no matter how small it was in terms of plot. The score especially sells it. While there’s a tone of sadness to it, it’s overarching theme is hope, and that come off so clearly as it plays when the time on the clock changes.

-Rating How can I give it anything other than a Golden Apple? For those that didn’t read my intro, that’s essentially 10/10 with an * for it being truly something else. This episode is marvelous from top to bottom and its barely existent weaknesses are naught but nitpicks. Not only that, I feel like it left me with so much. I just wrote two and a half pages about this episode and I still feel like I’ve done a disservice to it. I didn’t talk about how just relatable and charming and magical everyone is. I touched upon performances, but there’s still so much to be said about everyone. How is it that Robert Carlyle wasn’t even on screen for five minutes and still left one of the biggest impacts of anyone, even some of those more featured than he was? I still have loads to say about Henry and Emma’s dynamic (I was tempted to cheat and put them up there too). I could talk into eternity about the parallels and the setups and the goofy moments in the background. I could speak to how even in episode 1, Storybrooke becomes more not of a place, but a character. I want to read all kinds of things into the line “There’s not a lot of things I’m great at in life.” This episode is so great that it makes me feel guilty for not glorifying it enough, and that’s what makes it worthy of a Golden Apple.

-Flip My Ship Shadow Queen - HE HAD HER PILOT NECKLACE!!!! OMG! MY SHADOW QUEEN SHIPPER HEART IS JUMPING FOR JOY! Snowing - Snowing’s connection throughout this episode was just awe inspiring. You feel the connection between them in every word they spoke and every exchange of expressions they held. It’s demonstrated the most clearly when Snow asks Charming to go and see Rumple. Just the way that she says “him,” and with a look, you just see how he gets it. At the same time, they’re not without conflict and distinctions between the two of them. They have disagreements and act on their own, but are still unmistakably meant for each other. There are many relationships on the show that attempt realism, and even Snowing itself in Storybrooke will encounter that, but moments like these paint Snowing as fantastical and paint a picture of romance here that becomes iconic. Swan Queen - I love me some FoeTP’s and their’s was one hell of a start! The ambiguity of Regina’s intentions and motives as well as sprinkles of selfishness and coldness with and on Emma’s part make their chemistry truly delightful! I reflected on what I liked about them above in my “Dynamics” section, but everything there works fully down here too.

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And that about covers my thoughts on the premiere! I promise you that future posts won’t be nearly as long (Fingers crossed. This took quite a few hours to put together). Hope you liked them and thanks once more to the fine folks at @watchingfairytales for putting this rewatch together! Season Tally (10/220) Writer Tally for Season 1: A&E (10/70)

[themarionetteanovel]

Chapter Sixty-Two - Claire Dodges Some Questions

Adam straddled the nearest stool, braced his arms on the table, and stared at her slack-jawed. He didn’t seem to believe her. “How do you know she’s dead? How long have you known for?”

Claire drew in her breath. Admit she’d found Sophie’s body, or just her wallet and phone? If she admitted to finding the body, Adam might insist on her showing him the site. That was the last thing she felt like doing in her current state. Time to confess everything she’d withheld from him the entire summer. Let the chips fall where they may. He might not be too angry. And if he was, so be it. “You know what happened to Dave, my previous boyfriend, right?”

His eyes went wide. After a delay, he nodded. “He was found dead just outside of town. I heard he’d been drunk or something. I’m sorry if that wasn’t the case, but …”

“It was.” She’d stopped being in denial about that months ago. “He’d also been having an affair with Sophie. It went on for several months all while he was living with me.”

“I see.” His voice turned chilly, as if he’d just turned the thermostat to its lowest point.

“His friend let them use his place and …” She didn’t want to mention Kevin unless she had to; Adam seemed riled up enough already. “Jordan moved but left this bag behind. Yesterday the new resident tracked me down and gave it to me, figuring I’d know where he went.”

“And did you?”

She shook her head. “Anyway, inside the bag were some of Sophie’s things. Including her wallet and her phone. Two things she’d have with her if she’d run off.”

“True, though that doesn’t necessarily mean anything. She may have wanted to fake her death. Or she’d left those things with him for safekeeping and then he bailed on her.”

She couldn’t bring herself to look at Adam. Instead she stared at her hands folded on her lap and flexed her fingers. She tried to shake the image of that desiccated corpse from her mind. It had barely looked human. Maybe it wasn’t Sophie, but some other girl with long blonde hair. Maybe Sophie had faked her death and Dave had tried covering up for her. For all she knew, they’d planned to run away together with Sophie leading the way and then …

“What else, Claire?”

“Hm?” She felt like a dog that had just soiled the carpet as she returned his gaze. His greyish eyes bored into her, as if able to see every deceit, every lie.

“Don’t lie to me. You’re not even close to telling me the whole story here.” Within the blink of an eye he was standing immediately in front of her, his eyes ablaze and his breath hot on her face. “She was my cousin, Goddammit! I grew up with her! I need you tell me everything.”

She was not going to let him intimidate her. He was lying too. She’d faced a dead body earlier, she could do this. She wasn’t sure of the exact moment when he’d switched from loving boyfriend to accuser, but it was over between them. She had nothing to lose anymore. “I never knew until I went through her phone that you and this supposed cousin were an item.”

Good, that threw him off guard. He reeled back a step and returned to his stool. He let out an angry sigh and drummed on the table with his fingers. “Ancient history.”

Sophie was two years older than herself, she recalled. “It can’t have been that ancient.”

“Oh, you have no clue. Kevin, on the other hand. Now that was a man who would not give up even when she was pledging her love to your fiancé and sleeping with him every chance she got.” He just had to rub it in, didn’t he. “Kevin killed her. And then he came up with a scheme where he’d get you to implicate Dave, since he died only a few weeks later.” He gazed off at some point beyond her and blew out a sigh. “I have to admit. That’s pretty brilliant of him.”