#also yes you're coming you don't have a choice

[leandra-kinard]

I'm in no way invalidating this post, as I assume it's US-centric. But it's a stark reminder how vastly different the work cultures are there and in Germany where I live and work.

Yes, you don't have to tell your boss everything, and in some instances it's a good idea to say less, but if you have any kind of long-term illness or condition, it actually is a good idea to talk about it with your boss (and HR + the work's council, if you have one). Good employers in Germany will then do their best to accommodate for your needs so they can keep you and make things work out for you. They tend to have a more long-term mindset where they want to help the employee get better or find better ways to be a happy (and yes, with that productive) employee.

That's not always the case either; especially internationally operating corporations here are a bit more cut-throat, so it's a good thing to know the company's mindset well, but it's a tendency.

Also, there are actual laws that prohibit them from firing you for something like that. There are limits, for example if you're actually sick (off work) for too long repeatedly with no prospect of improvement that can be a just cause for termination, but the employer has the duty of proof in that instance. If they cannot prove that your absences are too detrimental to the company's well-being for them to tolerate it, you can sue for reinstatement or damages.

At my current company, I've been immensely lucky, because even for German standards the mentality there is extraordinarily understanding and supportive. When I told my boss that I was burned out and had to take a week or two off (on fully paid sick leave, mind you), he said "Two weeks might not be enough. Take as long as you need." So I took four.

I was in the process of switching departments, so I had a conversation with my next boss too and asked if I could work from home completely for a while. He seemed very understanding, and I then told him the whole story - because he also needed to have some kind of prospect and know how long it was gonna take etc - so I said I was in the process of being diagnosed for ADHD and that I just couldn't manage also having to go into the office.

Now that I have the diagnosis and will soon hopefully get my meds, there's that prospect, and we said for now, I was gonna come in one day a week (usually 2 is mandatory) for a while until I feel ready to be there two days again.

That was only possible because I explained what was going on with me; the transparency also gave the employer a positive outlook and a feeling of trust, and when your company's mentality is built on those kinds of values, it makes for a million times more pleasant AND productive working environment. I mean, just by how this all was handled I do feel very loyal to my company now. (I'd be stupid to leave, frankly, lol).

And from many other cases I know how they reacted too. A colleague had to stay at home because she had pregnancy complications - no problem. Another one sometimes has to leave early or work from home because she has frequent and heavy migraines. Sometimes people have to do the same because of something to do with their kids. Everyone is usually fully transparent about it and it really helps create an atmosphere of openness and trust.

TL;DR: Err on the side of caution, yes. But do inform yourself of your legal rights in your country, and the mechanisms in such situations. Suss out the company's approaches to various issues and know their policies. Sometimes, when the outside conditions are in your favor, being transparent about your situation can be the better choice.

Hey here is your friendly reminder to not tell your nice boss stuff.

I’m at the executive management level for my very small company and I have 4 people who report directly to me. I am a nice boss. I’m friendly with my employees, I treat them like professional adults, I actively try to create a positive work environment, and I mentor them and make sure they’re advancing in their careers. I do my best to shield them from the rest of management doing stupid shit. My employees like working for me.

The other day one of my employees came to ask if she could change her hours on Mondays. I said yes immediately because it’s helpful for me to know when she’s here and when she’s not, but as long as she gets her work done I don’t care when and where she does it. She then proceeded to tell me that it was so she could attend therapy and like … I will never use this information but … as a general rule don’t fucking do that.

Do not tell your employer shit about your mental or physical health except for the bare minimum needed to request a reasonable accommodation. Even your nice boss can fire you, even your nice boss can unfairly change your working conditions, and even your nice boss at some point is probably going to face pressure from their superiors.

I’m not saying don’t trust your boss with anything ever. I’m just saying that anytime you are in the workplace you need to keep your private information private. You can still have a good relationship with your boss. Your workplace can still be pleasant. But if it ever feels like disclosing private information is required in order to have a good relationship with your boss, please see that as a red flag.

[guppybibi]

Tattoo artist!Johnny who had already met you a year ago when you made an impulsive decision of getting a tattoo with your current boyfriend's name.

This was nothing new for Johnny having seen this numerous times before, in both men and women, and he knows they'll come crawling back to get them covered up after a nasty breakup. It's been a running game in the shop, all of the workers betting their money on how long it'll take before the customer comes back to cover up the tattoo.

Nothing new, right? Then why was Johnny so surprised when he saw you walk into the shop, the door chimes ringing when you swing the door open to reveal you. Eyes still red and puffy while you sniffled, not doing a very good job on hiding the fact you had been crying. His coworkers shot him a knowing look, recalling the bet from last year.

"Pretty thing, ain't she?" One of Johnny's coworkers commented, looking at the back of your figure as you stepped out of the shop with a huge grin on your face. Probably excited to show the tattoo of your boyfriend's name to him.

"Yeah, too bad she's taken. Lucky man better be treatin' her right." Johnny remarks, noticing the look he was given. "Not for long, I bet. I'm giving them a year max." Johnny blinks once, then again. "Fine, I'm giving them five years." Of course, his coworker was pretty shocked from that. Out of all the people they've bet on, this was probably the longest bet Johnny had ever put.

"Seriously? Don't ya think that's too long?" His coworker asks skeptically, raising a brow at Johnny. "Aye, the gal is lovely. If her boyfriend drops her then that's like committing a war crime." Well, his coworker couldn't really disagree with him on that.

Johnny shoots his coworker a glare that simply said he had more important matters to attend to. Luckily, Johnny was a charmer so cooing a birdie like you into comfort shouldn't be that hard, right?

I mean, it's a break up, not exactly the end of the world here. Plus, you're a gorgeous gal, plenty of fish out there you could probably catch in less than an hour.

"Morning, lass! Welcome back, I see that you've got a little problem, huh?" He points out, seeing you nod subtly. "Alright, I'm assuming it's a cover up for the tattoo you got done a year ago?"

He clearly wasn't surprised when you nodded, having seen this too many times before. He wrote down some stuff, not caring about the paperwork much..before leading you further into the parlor.

The two of you discussed how you wanted the previous tattoo to get covered up, Johnny nudging in to suggest some stylistic choices a few times, which you gladly didn't mind.

Then began the process once you agreed with the design choice, you wanted to get this over with. To remove a past mistake from your life.

Johnny cleansed your skin, disinfecting it with a cold gel. He could see you squirming and struggling not to make a sound. He also does notice another tattoo covered up above your previous tattoo, curiosity swirling around in his mind now.

He tried hushing it, it wasn't any of his business. He's here to do his job, nothing else.

He was quiet for most of the process, aside from some rather awkward small talk about the weather and a few details of what happened between you and your boyfriend. Not that it helped, it really just made Johnny even more curious.

And finally, after who knows how long, the tattoo was covered up now! You seemed to have gotten rid of the nerves from earlier, looking a lot more calmer now.

"Alright, lass. I'm sure y'know how the caring process goes so I'll leave it up to ye." He said, cleaning up all his materials in a snap. He gives in to his curiosity, finding the courage in him to ask you about the other covered up tattoo.

"Uh..before you go lass, mind if I ask ye somethin'? It's about the other tattoo you got 'ere.." You immediately knew which one he was referring to, face reddening in embarrassment as you recalled the immature decision..

"Aah..sure, go ahead." You replied awkwardly, a sheepish smile gracing your face. "Thanks, lass. Mind if ye tell me what was written on there? I- I just noticed that the way it was covered up. The artist did a great job, I'm jealous."

Yeah okay he was just making excuses to get things flowing..never mind that.

"Oo..oh! I don't mind at all, don't worry. That's all in the past..can't really reverse it, you know? It was my ex-boyfriend's name." You answer, shrugging it off. Seems like you were the type of gal to move on from a relationship quick.

"I see, glad you were willing to share that. I wonder if I know who he is." He chuckles, evidently not expecting you to actually tell him who it was. Sure, Johnny was the type to encourage people to loosen up and get comfortable. But..maybe not to this extent.

"His name was Simon, Simon Riley—" And practically everything you said after that was unheard of.

Looks like Johnny needs to pay Simon a visit at the pub tonight.

[furiousgoldfish]

How free are you? A Poll

Instructions: If the answer to the question is 'yes', give yourself 1 point. If the answer is 'no', take 1 point away. If the answer is 'maybe', or 'I don't know', or 'unsure', don't add any points.

Can you wear whatever you want, without having to explain yourself or worry about getting berated for it?

Can you choose what to do with your own time, without having anyone criticize or guilt you for it?

Can you choose what you eat every day, or at least reject the food you don't want to eat?

Do you have access to food that is nourishing, healthy and unlikely to cause any health issues in the long term?

Can you choose freely who you spend your time with, without reprecussions?

Can you choose what you do for a job? Can you change it without severe consequences for your financial stability?

Are you allowed to go wherever you please, if your finances allow for it?

Do you have a community of people you're connected to, who have the same or similar beliefs and circumstances as you do?

Do you have a network (or a family) of people who you consider to be 'your people', who accept you and care about you?

Will you be okay and taken care of in case of illness, injury, incident or a disaster?

Can you choose your own religion, or reject a religion, without severe social consequences?

Do you have knowledge of your basic human rights, and are you informed on what to do if some of these rights get violated?

Can you go about life without ever worrying about physical violence occuring from a person you know and are around?

Can you go about life without worrying about physical violence coming from a stranger?

Can you walk the planet without being self-conscious of your body and how you're perceived, and being objectified or devalued because of it?

Do you feel safe and comfortable in most of the places you exist in?

Can you get by without taking special measures, such as hiding, lying, escaping, locking yourself in, avoiding certain places and activities, avoiding certain people, changing your name, in order to be safe in the world?

Do you have safe access to communication with people you want to communicate with?

Can you access the money you need without having to ask or explain why you need it?

Do you feel safe that your basic physical needs, such as food, clothing, sanitary items, tools, shelter and utilities are and will stay accessible to you?

Do you have secure access to healthcare, without having to severely worry about the financial aspect of it, or about someone barring you from access?

Do you have reliable information about your own health, and about how the activities you do might affect it, both for better and for worse?

Are you allowed to change your mind about how you feel about the issues in the world, your own circumstances, people around you, your faith and your politics, without being outcasted from your group of peers?

Can you go trough life without worrying about a hate crime being committed against you, both by people you know and strangers?

Is your health and physical state of body stable enough to work a full time job?

Can you secure enough money to live comfortably, without your physical or psychological health suffering and deteriorating for it?

Can you comfortably communicate your needs, feelings, problems, struggles and affection to others, when you want to?

Can you speak your mind most of the time, without worrying about reprecussions?

Can you be open about your interests, hobbies, beliefs, sexuality, identity, politics and relationships with most of the people around you?

Can you comfortably speak about the circumstances and facts of your life, without being corrected or denied to name some of them?

Can you recognize when a choice has been taken away from you, and things have been decided for you? If yes, can you also walk away from this, and refuse to take on the consequences?

Can you comfortably place blame on the people who have caused you distress and pain in your life, without any pushback or criticism for doing so?

Do you have support, knowledge and resources you need in order to deal with grief and tragedy?

Can you feel comfortable and at ease around all people you are around with?

Can you freely confront a person in your life who has attempted to cause injustice to you, even if that person is in position of authority to you? Do you feel safe and able to do so?

Can you freely choose your sexual partner(s), or refuse any you don't want without having to worry about their feelings, assault, your financial situation or your safety?

Can you choose freely to undo any consequences sex had on your body, if you don't want it to be happening to you?  (abortion rights, skip if it doesn't apply to you)

Can you break up your relationships, parental bonds and marriages to other people without having to worry about survial, physical safety or keeping a roof over your head?

Do you have information and resources to immediately recognize red flags of being lured into a scam, exploitative work, grooming, abuse, sexual abuse, cults, human trafficking, or similar situations?

Can you live without being severely affected by human made-disasters, such as wars, chemical damage to the environment, mass destruction and shootings?

Ideally, in a functional society, a human being should have all of these freedoms. I understand for most, if not all of us, to have every single of these points is impossible. If you are in the negative points, your situation is dire and freedom has been stripped from you to the inhumane level. For reference, the score I got for this was 9! 39 or 40 would be the ideal, which I don't believe anyone will get.

If your answer is 'no', for questions about having access to information, having knowledge and resources, this isn't your fault. You are not solely responsible for figuring out every single aspect of it yourself, this should have been covered in your education and upbringing. Also, if you're underage, questions like being able to work a job, securing money and choosing sexual partners do not apply to you, you should instead be protected from having to worry about any of that until you reach the adulthood or age of consent. If you are having to worry about any of that, the answer is automatically no. If you have no worries about that, you can give yourself a point for each of these.

Disclaimer: This poll was made by one person, using personal ideas about freedom in this world, I am sure I forgot to include many things, please do add in the comments other perils to freedom that are not mentioned here. It is not a definitive statement on human freedom, only a reference point and a source of information.

[mellxncollie]

hiiii alex and now i have no choice but to drop all the process info and the outtakes :)

overall impression: very lovely and moody and spooky!! i kinda expected more blood-reds from devlin house but i should've known better, you wouldn't go for something that cliché. as always the shots you chose are SO good, love the combo of very dramatic shots with way more subtle ones!

aaaaa okay okay yes definitely not a lot of 'expected' shots in this one. couple reasons for this:

episode 3 is not one that i can watch very much, there's too many triggers in there for me. it's only very recently that i'm now able to rewatch it in its entirety, and i still have a hard time screencapping for it. so... not too many gifs from inside the devlin house

not a lot of shots in these episode work well for these palette sets. unlike all the other episodes, this one does not have many establishing shots or wide shots, which are the ones i like to use for these gifs. of the few establishing shots that are used, many are relatively static, so they don't look great as gifs. plus a lot of the devlin house shots have flashing lights and/or are very short. this made it really difficult to just find scenes that would work

so, this is a little less of a cohesive set than the other two, and i think the rest of the episodes will have more cohesive palette sets than this one as well. i love how this episode is shot, cheryl dunye's avoidance of 'filler' shots really reminds me of her film the watermelon woman, and while that movie does have more wide shots and more cohesive colors, the focus in on the characters as opposed to the backgrounds is what makes this episode feel so much like her work. it really drives home this episode as a standout in terms of writing, visuals, and direction.

it just also... breaks out of a form that i rely on to make these gifs work. so: less cohesive colors. i'm glad that this didn't exactly come across, and that we still have a kind of moody vibe :)

gif 1: cindy my beloved!! oh my god i need to see edwin laughing like that. i need CHARLES to see edwin laughing like that! and niko is so precious, i love her and her green coat. speaking of! love the way she moves past the colour blocks and almost adds contrast to them until she reaches the green and basically blends in?? SUCH a cool effect. and i love the colours themselves, the green + goldish vibe is everything. the green in the shot is so dramatic that it's like a fun little puzzle to find the rest of the colours! and then you realise, oh wait, that's the majority of the picture. ceiling, chairs, cabinet, niko and cindy's hair. and cindy being represented by the colour palette, drawing her undeniably into the picture because she can actually be seen by everyone around her, the opposite of ghostly, is SO cool. and then the contrast of the bright (blueish?) white?? the way it contrasts so much with niko's coat that at first i couldn't see where you got it from, only when niko moves back it blends perfectly into the window in the background?? olly you are a GENIUS

honestly i didn't really realize how this looks with niko's movement adjusting how the green and the blue all suddenly mix in with the rest of the gif!! but you're right, it's very cool!

this gif was a bit of a challenge, and with all those browns i initially thought it might be on the chopping block. but then i came around to liking it enough to make it the first gif in the set.

here's a before/after of the colors i put on it, and you can see that the blue is basically not even in the original shot, and it was only after i adjusted the blue channel to decrease that yellow tint that the blue really showed up.

gif 2: JENNY JENNY JENNY! this is a wild one because it's such a mundane part of the scene and yet i can't stop looking at the dramatic colouring. SHE!!! also the colours you chose feel very similar to the jenny gif from ep1, which, to be clear, i mean SO positively. i love that it ties them together! also something something jenny in her black clothes being surrounded by so much colour as symbolism to what crystal and niko bring to her life. brb crying

out of all the gifs in this set, this is definitely one of my favorites. mostly just cause the shot is really cool, nothing to do with the colors or anything. but speaking of the colors!! yes they're a lot like the ep 1 gif, and it's so fascinating to me how they pack so many hues into jenny's shop via the lighting.

gif 3: HI SPOOKY SHOT OF ALL TIME 😍😍😍 one of those dramatic ones i NEVER want to look away from. loveeeeeee the red-orange reflections on them, the purple of crystal's coat, the blue of edwin's shirt. also getting into the symbolism again but the way most of the colours are drawn from crystal and the background (even the blue is present in her grey shirt/jacket/whatever that is) and it makes the boys feel even more ghostly. ESPECIALLY CHARLES?? WHO ONLY RECEIVES RED BACKLIGHTING?? AND SPENDS THE EP GRAPPLING WITH HIS OWN HELPLESSNESS?? THE ONLY ONE UNTOUCHED BY BLUE (AKA SYMBOLIC OF HEAVEN)?? I'M MAKING MYSELF SICK WITH THIS OH GOD

yipeee!! one of my favorite shots of this episode, but one of my least favorite shots in the whole series to gif (that i've been making gifs of more and more to force myself to figure out how to do it best) and honestly because of that, i wasn't sure if this would make the final cut either.

here's two recent(ish) uses of this scene in various gifsets, both of which i don't really like how the final gif turned out.

this is because the original shot is....

so aggressively blue/green on their faces and that it is very difficult to make this look good.

i wanted the final gif for this set to be a bit more orange and a bit less red, but i'm glad i kept the more red toned backlight, since that allowed gif 8 to feel different enough. and i'm actually pretty okay with how this one turned out, espeically because you get the purple and the blues in their costumes.

also, just for fun, here's what this gif would look like if i did some normal brightening and coloring, but didn't do anything to fix their skintones 🫠

and yeah. god. thinking about charles 'untouched by blue.' fuck.

gif 4: SUCH a lovely little shot! the blues from edwin's outfit, the greenish-gray i'm guessing from the stripes (very nice and subtle, love the choice to emphasise them!), the white from his shirt. and then BAM, gold for the bracelet of homosexuality. but even then it's a very subtle colour choice for it, i can see some of the background is the same colour, even the darker parts of edwin's shirt cuffs. it's like you, via the palette, are helping him hide the bracelet and. i'm just in love

one of my favorite gifs in this set! it is really fun, and you got all the color sources right! i did want to include another color from the bracelet, but most of the colors i was sampling just didn't look too good with the blues, so i used the white from his shirt and i think that really worked.

gif 5: monty!! the return of niko's green coat!! love the cool (ha!) colours, mixed in with the warmer browns. the blue is so subtle in monty's plaid shirt (and the port townsend sign if i'm not mistaken?) the brown/burgundy in monty's scarf and shirt and the trees in the background really draws it all together! plus the green in both niko's coat and the trees' leaves! also interesting to see here the colours you didn't choose for the palette, like the white of niko's hair and monty's books. not to get too deep into it but it feels like a sign that it's not niko monty's trying to connect to, even though edwin isn't even in the frame! and the darker brown feels sort of similar to edwin's coat but that might just be grasping at straws lmao

the blue is from monty's shirt, yeah! this one was hard to pick colors for, and you totally got it with all the colors i'm leaving out. also because of the 540px x 500px frame size, we're also leaving out edwin from this shot. so maybe there's something there too about leaving out colors. (and now that i'm looking at it again, i do think that off-white would have been a great way to tie this palette together)

gif 6: OH DEVLIN HOUSE WE'RE REALLY IN IT NOW. obsessed with the way you subverted expectations with the devlin house being so blue and monotone, vs how we tend to read it as this dramatic high-stakes situation with so much blood spilled. again with the symbolism but it feels like it speaks so much more to the nature of the thirty-year (!!!) loop and how to the victims of it it's not dramatic but just the same cycle they can't get out of. over and over and over. and crystal and charles' expressions in this one OUGH. crystal trying immediately to find a way to help, to free these women, and charles is seeing his worst nightmare and trying desperately to suppress it. again, charles' helplessness represented by none of his colours making it onto the palette, even though his shirt is still pretty red. his hero colour is represented only as its worst in this house

i wanted at least one mostly monotone gif in this set, and the devlin house is predominantly teal and yellow, so it's such a strong contender for a monotone shot. problem with the yellows is that they're hard to make look good if there's a person in frame, so blues it was! i had a lot of blue shots to choose from, because every time the loop resets the power cuts and they're plunged into darkness. and i think there's something really symbolic there for charles (oh and now i'm thinking about the way that he drops into the water in the next episode when the night nurse forces the flashback)

and yeah, the first two colors are sampled from crystal's clothes, and the final three are from the wall. and now that i think of it, none of these palettes use colors sampled from charles/his clothes, despite this being really his episode. makes me think about what you said for the tube gif in the ep 1 set, how not sampling from them makes them more of a ghost in their own gif. anywayyyysssssssss

gif 7: can i just say. obsessed with the parallels of the last two gifs, showing the pre- and post-devlin house feelings? at first i thought this one was from the end of ep3, after gif 8, but just from seeing charles and crystal's interaction it's obviously not OUGH. love the wide shot of them (and the cinematography lessons!! the focus falloff at the top. i am Looking), the greens of the trees and the brown of the leaves and the purple of crystal's coat (ooh and the sign!). some of the purple even seems to come across in charles' jacket! and the blue of the statue also being in edwin and charles' socks and crystal's shirt. it ties them all together in a way that contrasts so much with the effect devlin house has in breaking them apart. forever emotional about ittttt

so this one is actually post-devlin house. it's right as charles says he's fine and right before niko shows up. it's the last gif in this set chronologically, but i don't really go by chonological order in these sets, since i want the first and last gifs to be strong, and i don't want any two palettes side-by-side to feel too similar.

i am now thinking about how charles and crystal's interaction in here realllllyyyyy doesn't feel like post-devlin house.

anyway. colors. yeah. that purple being the same in crystal's coat and the sign was such a blessing. and every time i throw a surprise blue in to these palettes i think of you. it definitely is the bit that pulls this palette together.

(yes i was also thinking about the focus falloff here, it is soooo wildly intense in this shot)

gif 8: AND FINAL SHOT. devlin house is over (or is it??) the colours nearly blending in with the background and then contrasted against charles' coat. i'd say SYMBOLISM but i'm sure you're sick of hearing it by now lmaooo. the bright lights in the background are SO striking. and the green??? the way it reflects so dramatically against the orange specifically on edwin's face??? i know that's not death's light shining on them but it sure is interesting how often edwin is the one bathed in that colour of light.......... also this might be a reach but the way crystal's jacket/hoodie/whatever seems to be a similar shade of green-grey, tying her and edwin together as having found common ground in the devlin house, vs charles again being the least represented by the colour palette -- devlin house might be over but he still feels helpless. i'm sure nothing bad will come of that!

the first 10ish frames of this gif are some of my favorites in this entire episode. i just love how this shot looks, and if it was a bit longer, i wouldn't have even had them running into frame. but that little bit of the trio that we do get is so interesting to get to hear you talk about. because i was not paying attention to how they blend in (or don't) to the palette.

--

so. what about the outtakes? first we have this one:

really like this shot. couldn't figure out the palette. i wanted some of that green from the interior wall of the attic space, but it doesn't sample as very green (yay for color theory!) and the few pixels that do sample as green do not look very good next to the rest of the colors.

here's the other outtake gif:

now that i'm looking back at the whole set, i think this one would have been a really good addition to make the whole set feel more cohesive, but i'm not sure which gif i would have cut instead to keep it at 8, so that's probably why i cut it in the first place. this one is kind of fun since the green is not from niko at all, but from the grass below. i initially made this gif with a monochrome palette, but right before i exported it, i noticed just how much green is in there, and decided to use some of it. glad i did, and i am really happy with this gif.

i'd say i can never be normal about this but you already know that. love this, love you, thank you forever for blessing us with your gorgeous gifs!!!

i'm so glad that you can't be normal about these because i also can't be normal about making gifs and i love that i get the opportunity to do this kind of breakdown for them. thank you thank you thank you alex. you're wonderful!!

Dead Boy Detectives (2024) 1.03 — The Case of the Devlin House (insp)

[alipeeps]

Episode 26

"We've caught the demon". Pretty fucking sure you haven't cos uhhh... she literally rocked up with an umbrella for Li Lun at the end of the last episode...

Mmm and if that *isn't* Ao Yin... is it another of Wen Zongyu's demon hybrids, that's been given the shapeshifting power?

(Ooooh and if that's the case, was that even Ao Yin that they went chasing after - that Chongwu camp pointed out? Or was it just their pet shapeshifter pretending to be her? And pointing her out was designed to make the gang chase off after her. Just another part of their plan to make sure Zhuo Yichen/Demon Hunting Bureau got villified/distrusted by the populace.

Called it.

Is she sitting up waiting for Zhuo Yichen to come home?

Oh give him a hug ffs, you both need it...

Meanwhile Zhao Yuanzhou is roaming the halls like a restless, lonely ghost...

Ugh the soft almost smile as he looks as Zhao Yuanzhou...

He wasn't prepared for that. And he also didn't want that - for Zhuo Yichen to have to have the experiences that would make him understand what it has been like for Zhao Yuanzhou.

Oh dang..

My fucking heart...

When the drama straight up goes "Found family? Hell yes. Explicitly yes. Yes."

But he still wants to die of course...

"Wo men yi qi"

Scuse me, officer? I need to report a crime? Yes, this show is trying to murder me.

Oh dang, Zhao Yuanzhou is now putting his coat round every member of his polycule, one by one...

Zhao Yuanzhou you are such a git. I love you.

Yeah he did... but you cut him off.

Shitttt this is too fucking tender. This is killing me.

OMG the camera acting as her POV and her glance drifting down to his neck...

I am dead. This is my ghost typing this.

Oooh I was literally just thinking last night.. they've fixed the baize token, surely they should make it a priority to restore the wilderness?

OMG it that Bai Jiu mama coming back to life?!!!

Holy shit after all the angst and pain of the previous episode, this one is like a fucking warm bath of emotion.

(Which almost certainly means the show is going to rip my heart out again VERY soon, right? Like they're doing this just to make it all the more painful when they reach into my chest and crush my very soul...)

Oh what the fuck?!!

Don't you fucking hurt my boy Ying Lei!! Don't you DARE!!

I thought you said it wasn't easy to break a mountain god's barrier, Ying Lei?!

Oooh was that Xiao Jiu's powder that slows down/weakens demons?

So he's bought the gang some extra time by slowing Li Lun down...

Well that certainly doesn't bode well...

Ooooh so if you had one wish Yichen, what would it be? Turn yourself human again... or save Zhao Yuanzhou....

Well shit.

(However, if there is no need to pursue them into the Bingyi Clan's forbidden area, then why the fuck did you rock up to pursue them in the first place, Li Lun?)

That sounds like a REALLY FUCKING BAD IDEA, Zhuo Yichen!!

You tell him, Wen Xiao! It's found FAMILY, Zhuo Yichen, not found I'mma-nobly-do-this-shit-all-on-my-own!

Well said Sijing.

Oh fuuuuuck. Zhao Yuanzhou. You're fucking killing me here!

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhh

Oh god, and the way Wen Xiao immediately looks at Zhao Yuanzhuo with hope... like please, please say yes Zhao Yuanzhou, please say you'll live...

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKKKK

He's spent so long seeking death... and he's willing to give that up.... because Zhuo Yuanzhou asked him to.

(Oh god, he's definitely going to die at the end, isn't he? It's going to destroy me)

Ha! Wen Xiao pulling rank on Zhuo Yichen! AND on Zhao Yuanzhou!

FUCK. FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK.

Oh fuck, is it Ying Long?!!

Oh fuck, one of them has to stay there?

Oh dang, it's asking him to sacrifice one of the team...

This is Zhuo Yichen you're dealing with here. If the choice is sacrifice one of his team or die himself (due to not fixing the Cloud Light Sword), then he'll choose to die himself. Every time.

Uhoh, it's trying to freeze all of you!

Ohhh the way he just so calmly and casually wraps his hand around Zhao Yuanzhou's hand to forestall his one word spell.

What do you think he's gonna do? He's gonna choose to sacrifice himself.

What the FUCK? He has pre-written goodbye letters to Wen Xiao?!!

This episode is destroying me. They are just constantly fucking verbalising their care and feelings for one another and... how... how am I supposed to just sit here and survive that?

Yesssss Zhao Yuanzhou....

But what's the point if they both die? Or is he trying to take Zhuo Yichen's place?

The fuuuuuuck what a visual!!

And after all that... they still don't even have the way to mend the sword? And who's gonna mend it anyway?!

Holy SHIT this episode was incredible and I am emotionally exhausted.

[bloodiebunniemassacre]

26.If you could live anywhere with anyone you want, where would it be and who would you bring?

<3<3

I would find a bigger house for my family in a place that they liked and move there with them(and try to bring my friends along too)!!

[vexingvorta]

Im not a fan of every argument made here on either side, so first I'll get a few things out of the way;

1, that abuse victims often go on to be abusers themselves if they don't put in the work necessary to heal from their own abuse, that's what people are talking about when they refer to the CYCLE of abuse. To deny that is... Also uncomfortable. Being a victim of abuse does not make you exempt from abusing other people. 2, I wish we'd stop equating toxic with abusive because there is a difference. 3, i don't think autistic coding is really a fair defense of said toxic traits I'm gonna be real. There's nothing wrong with headcanons and projection but just to focus on what actually happened in the series without using headcanon to excuse harmful behavior. I don't know what traits are being referred to as "autistic coded" here so honestly I'm not gonna touch that with a ten foot pole and just focus on what we see;

Its hard for people to accept, but abuse does not happen on accident. Abuse is an intentional choice one makes. And over all, no, Ford isn't abusive. He, throughout the series and due to a combination of his self-centeredness and being a victim of abuse (hell, his self-centeredness was weaponized against him as part of the abuse) was absolutely toxic for most of the time we've seen him.

The argument that he abused Fiddleford is so stupid I'm not even going to acknowledge it. The thing with Stan is, he frankly wasn't around him enough to actually abuse him. A one time event is not abuse. A single fight is not abuse. Abuse is long and drawn out and, as I said earlier, intentional. And, like what was already pointed out, Ford was in a bad state. He'd reached the point of Bill going fully mask off, so to speak, and the abuse now being at it's worst. He was fully isolated and sleep deprived and it made him crazy. Yes, his unwillingness to destroy the journals was deeply selfish and another mark of how self-centered he is. It's the definition of irrational. But, once again, he wasn't in a spot where he could think rationally. (Granted, even if he was, I still don't think he would've been willing to destroy the journals because his self importance and self centeredness is one of his biggest flaws and an important part of his character)

The closest Ford ever comes to being abusive is, yes, with dipper. He starts telling him a lot of the same things we know Bill told him at the start of their partnership; you're special, we need each other, these other people are only holding you back. Nobody understands you like I do. When Dipper expresses concern for Mabel, Ford is immediately dismissive. He looks at Dipper and all he sees is himself, and all he sees in Mabel is Stan. He is the one who pushed that dichotomy, because he really couldn't think outside of himself.

His greatest flaw is that he's self centered and self obsessed. But the thing is, is that he learns his lesson. It takes literal apocalypse to get there, but he does learn and he does reflect and he does apologize and try to do better. He course corrects. Gravity falls, ultimately, is about family bonds and breaking the cycle of abuse. Ford almost continued that cycle with Dipper, but he stopped before any permanent damage could be done, both to their relationship, and to Dipper and Mabels. He fixed his relationship with Stan.

He did in fact have abusive tendencies and toxic traits but ultimately he put in the work to fix them and be better. Ford is a well written and well balanced character. He displays how someone even with good intentions can unintentionally fall back into cruel and toxic habits, and can start repeating the abuse they were put through. He also shows that you can come back from that. That starting down that path doesn't mean you have to stay there. That it's possible to heal and get better.

None of what I'm saying is an indictment of Ford's character. The opposite: he is complex and well written and imperfect, and I love him and his character arc. He could've been so easily made into an irredeemable villain, a no good bastard who's just horrible and abusive. He had all those pieces laid out. But the choice and skill to actually have him go through the motions of falling into abusive tendencies and then getting better is amazing on Alex Hirsch's part, and a testament to his ability to write deep and complex characters.

(also this is just kind of my own aside but the use of "autistic-coded" as like an excuse for how a character acts is really annoying to me for a number of reasons? For one, just off the bat, it's an attempt to make your headcanon sound more canon than it is, but by nature of being a headcanon, it's not really a fair or valid argument here. Second, there are ways to make a legitimate argument and analysis of a characters actions in canon and debate criticisms of their actions without saying "they're autism coded so actually you must hate autistic people", like it's okay, you're allowed to make a legitimate argument. Also, "character did shitty thing because they're autistic" isn't the win you think it is, because let's be real, you're either implying that they have no autonomy over their actions because of their autism, or that you think autism makes people shitty or toxic, neither of which is the win you think it is. Ironically lack of media literacy applies in both cases here, just for different reasons. Okay side rant over, just wanted to throw that out there because holy hell it's something that is used so much in fandom and it gets grating after a while.)

The tldr here is that Ford isn't an abuser. He was abused, he had toxic and abusive traits, but he put in the work to heal and better himself. He's by no means perfect and that's okay, he's a good character, and he's actually trying to be better.

Today in "I hate autistic-coded abuse victims", this shitty take.

Ford did not abuse Stan. He did not abuse Fiddleford. He did not try to drive a wedge in Dipper and Mabel's relationship (he was doing what he thought was best for Dipper and thought Mabel would be fine).

Just admit you hate autistic people and have no compassion for abuse victims. And admit you have no media literacy.

Also, calling a canonical abuse victim an abuser is...uncomfortable, to say the least. Especially with how you're just making him out to be abusive for...not handling personal interactions perfectly. You're demonizing autistic traits. And you need to research how abuse can effect people.

(Also, I know Ford's not perfect. But you don't seem to know that he's flawed but ultimately a good person. You just want a "perfect victim" when it comes to abuse victims, and it's obvious)

[necrotic-nephilim]

there is not enough femslash in batcest circles. the girls deserve to be just as weird about each other as the boys are. if BruDick gets to be weird father/son/brothers/lovers/friends/rivals/soulmates then it is only fair that Babs/Cass get to be mother/daughter/sisters/lovers too. Something about that deep intrinsic but undefinable love that is born out of trauma, especially if you consider Cass not knowing what healthy love looks like in the first place. i think it's fun and deserves just as much fandom content.

besides that, you can get even more niche with rarepairs like Helena/Steph. Huntress/Spoiler: Blunt Trauma is already a fantastic comic and even though it's their only real canon interaction it has so much potential. very comparable to TimJay in how Helena tries to get Steph to understand her morals and the corruption you could play with it.

batman: huntress/spoiler: blunt trauma (1998)

that comic also highlights on how both Steph and Helena are outcasts of the Batfamily and don't have the approval of Bruce to be doing what they do in "his city". I think there's so much Potential in Helena taking Steph under her wing because Bruce won't let her in and it becomes a weird codependent toxic sapphic mess. I think the protectiveness Helena feels over Steph from the get-go is so clear and the way she wants to look out for Steph, wants to make sure Steph understands the real world? I love them. Helena should be allowed to steal Steph, actually. I think it'd be fun.

there are a lot of other possibilities too like Babs/Steph or even getting weird with Helena Bertinelli/Helena Wayne and the existential question of "is it selfcest or not." But these two specifically live in my head rent-free, especially Helena/Steph and one day I'll convince everyone else to ship it too.

[i-appear-misssing]

I just had the horrible thought that I need to fall in love because having devastating crushes on beautiful, competent, authoritative women that I desperately want to please is exhausting and I need it to stop

[carewyncromwell]

“Will we ever find our Neverland? Will we ever be at peace again?”

~“Neverland” by Crywolf

x~x~x~x

previous part here! // full tag here! // original concept suggested by @ag907​

x~x~x~x

Carewyn bolted off of the stool she’d been sitting on with such force she knocked it over. Her eyes flooded with tears that blinded her, and yet this time, these tears gleamed like a beautiful rainbow, because there was no sorrow within. Only joy.

“JACOB -- JACOB!”

She ran to him. Her joy was so strong that she actually ended up coming right up off the ground, flying up to him so as to better reach him. Jack pulled out of Blaise and the other pirate’s hold, his hands likewise clutching at the air, until they reached each other. Carewyn threw her arms around her brother’s neck -- Jack clung to her even as his legs gave way and he collapsed onto his knees. He didn’t even care that his hat had fallen off. Instead he cradled the back of Carewyn’s head in his hand and held her tight.

“Wyn -- my Wyn -- ”

“Jacob, you’re here! You’re here, Jacob!”

“Yes!” choked Jack. “Yes, Wyn...I’m here -- you’re -- you’re here...you’re...you’re so big, Wyn! How long has it been...my little Wyn...my little sister...”

Jack’s hand in her hair was trembling.

“...Carewyn...” he whispered.

He cried even harder as he started to laugh.

“Your name is Carewyn,” he said weakly. “Not Wyn, not Winnie, it’s Carewyn.”

Carewyn beamed through her tears. “Yes, Jacob...”

“Mum called you Winnie,” Jack mumbled, almost awed by the recollection. “And I’m...I’m Jacob. I’m not Jack, I’m Jacob...”

“Yes, Jacob!” Carewyn assented fervently.

Jack -- no, Jacob -- was sobbing openly now. He kissed the top of Carewyn’s head, pulling away just enough to look over her face through his teary eyes.

“Oh, Wyn, look at you,” he breathed. “You’re so grown up! Oh, Wyn -- can you ever forgive me? I almost forgot you, Wyn -- forgot Mum...Wyn, I’m so sorry...”

“Me too, Jacob,” Carewyn mumbled as Jacob brought her right up beside his chest again, bringing his hand through her hair. “Me too -- ”

She squeezed him tighter still as he rocked her back and forth like a child. Her eyes were flowing with tears, but she’d never smiled bigger in her life. She even kept floating up off the ground in her brother’s arms.

“It’s just like Mum said,” she said through her tears. “Neverland is where dreams come true -- I dreamed and I dreamed, and...you’re here, Jacob, you’re really here!”

Jacob and Carewyn sat on the floor together, unable to let go of each other or stop crying in pure joy. For that moment, they didn’t see or think of anything else around them -- not until a low, dark Bass voice cut in.

“Indeed he is...as are you.”

Jacob and Carewyn both looked up. Hook stood over them, adjusting his hook offhandedly as he smiled coldly down at them.

“It is truly nice to have Winnie back where she belongs,” he murmured, his eyes boring into Jacob, “isn’t it, Jack?”

Jacob stared at Hook. In the span of the next ten seconds, his face had lost all of its color, his eyes once again brightening with an awareness he’d been lacking. Unlike when he remembered Carewyn’s full name or his mother, however, this revelation was a horror he could barely put into words.

“No -- no, no -- ”

He whirled on Carewyn. “Wyn -- Wyn, you’re supposed to be with Amari -- !”

Carewyn blinked, baffled. “Jacob?”

“You’re supposed to be with him -- he was supposed to keep you safe!” Jacob said, his voice torn by anger, anxiety and absolute terror. “You shouldn’t be here -- you have to get out of here now -- !”

Charles shot a pointed look at Blaise. In an instant, Blaise had swept forward and roughly grabbed Jacob around the waist, hoisting him up off the ground and away from Carewyn.

“No!” cried Carewyn. “No, don’t take him! Jacob! JACOB!”

The little girl desperately tried to hang onto her brother’s hands. It proved difficult, though, when Hook seized the back of her nightgown with his hook and seized her around the waist too with his other hand -- it made it impossible for her to fly and get free, no matter how much she kicked and squirmed -- and Jacob was torn out of her reach.

Jacob writhed in Blaise’s grip, even as the First Mate yanked him toward the open cabin door.

“Run, Wyn!” he bellowed. “Run back to Amari, Wyn! Forget about me! Forget me and run! Fly away -- !”

It was only seemingly with the burst of adrenaline that came with anger that Blaise managed to accrue enough strength to wrestle Jacob out the door and slam it shut behind him.

“You must forgive your brother,” Hook said in a cool voice that bordered on disdain. “I thought he’d be more appreciative that I reunited you with him, after so long...”

Carewyn’s eyes were overflowing with tears as she looked up at Hook.

“Let him go! Please, bring him back!”

“Now, Winnie,” Hook said, and he seemed oddly pleased to see Carewyn so upset, “of course I will. I would be happy to reunite you, once Jack’s discipline has expired.”

“Discipline?” repeated Carewyn. The word gave her serious misgivings.

“Naturally,” said Hook. “He was the one who tried to keep you from me. Are you not curious about how your brother knew you’d been with Orion Amari, without me telling him so? Why he never once sought you out, if he knew you were in Neverland?”

Carewyn stared up at the pirate captain. His blue eyes -- identical to hers -- gleamed with something darker even as his smile spread.

“Where shall I begin this tale...?” Hook murmured absently, as he crossed the room to look out the window. “Ah yes -- perhaps when your thoughtless brother left my ship and went off to the mainland by himself one day and didn’t return until after nightfall. I was very displeased, when I found him missing -- even more so when he lied that he had gone exploring and gotten lost. Had to break his leg, to ensure he wouldn’t try to go running off again...”

Carewyn felt like her heart had been squeezed.

“You monster -- how could you -- ?!”

“It was a bit cumbersome, when trying to deal with the centaur brat at Marooner’s Rock,” Hook cut her off cleanly, disregarding her righteous fury altogether. “Fortunately Orion Amari still played into my hand, and my hook, trying to save his two new Lost Kids. But in the cave, I heard you sing that melody which of course is mine and mine alone, and my suspicions were aroused. I had thought at first that the last child of the three my crew saw on the clouds was simply one more wee pup of this ginger-haired family that Amari had stumbled upon in the Other World -- but if, in fact, she knew my song, there was only one possible reason why. And sure enough, some interesting rumors started fluttering about the island -- of the Lost Kids’ new mother, with the eyes of a pirate.”

Carewyn felt Hook’s eyes on her through the glass of the cabin window.

“I knew you were one of mine,” said Hook, “but I was not completely certain that you were the Winnie I sought, or some other new pirate entirely. All my suspicions as to your identity were confirmed, however, when my helmsman Ashe brought you to me.”

His eyes flitted over to the brown-eyed teenager still standing by the door -- he’d had his eyes locked on the closed cabin door, but he looked up, startled, when he was addressed. Carewyn turned to look at the Pirate Without Pirate Eyes -- his face was almost as pale as Jacob’s had been, but his jaw was clenched: almost as if looking Carewyn in the face and seeing her tear-stained cheeks was difficult for him.

“He said he’d taken you for your eyes and for your resemblance to Jack’s accounts of you,” Hook said, his eyes boring into Ashe’s reflection in his cabin window. “And yes, for certain, those are fair reasons. But my helmsman was unaware of just how much I knew.”

Ashe tore his eyes away from Carewyn’s at last, unable to keep looking into those eyes so like Jacob’s. His brown eyes were rippling with turbulent emotion before he shut them tight.

“By the time Ashe brought you to me, I was already more than aware that Jack had stolen away to see Orion Amari that night and cajoled him into stealing you away. Who else would have the ability to bring you here, to this paradise of youth? Who else has a home I know not the location of? Why else would Amari have kept his Lost Kids’ new ‘mother’ so hidden? Why else would Jack’s moods be so turbulent -- longing to see you, and yet also being determined to keep you away from me?”

Hook turned away from the window at last to face Carewyn, his hand adjusting his hook.

“In surrendering you -- the precious treasure I sought for so long -- to my mortal enemy,” he said very softly, “in allowing my mortal enemy to deceive and manipulate you for his own ends -- to keep you from your only remaining family...Jack has been disloyal to his captain and orders. That is why he is now being punished.”

Carewyn’s blue eyes flashed with righteous anger. “Don’t talk about my brother like that! Or Orion! He’s a good person, and you’re -- you’re just a cruel, wicked old man!”

SHUCK.

Hook brought his hook down hard into the wood of the wall right beside Carewyn’s head. She flinched, immediately going silent, but her eyes bore into his with loathing.

“‘A good person,’” recurred Hook. His eyes were so empty and emotionless, they were akin to some ice-cold doll. “I suppose that’s why he takes children away from their families? Lures them away like some Pied Piper, promising them bon-bons and fanciful dreams? Have you never wondered why all of his ‘Children’ have no mother? Why they needed you to fill that role for them?”

Carewyn’s face lost some of its color.

“Not all of them lost their mothers the way you did, Winnie, my dear,” said Hook very quietly. “They lost them through the more wicked efforts of Neverland -- that wicked forgetfulness that Orion Amari has so willingly embraced.”

The memory of Orion’s words in Pixie Hollow returned to Carewyn’s mind.

“We all forget, Carewyn.”

“That’s part of what Neverland is. It wants you to forget your pain – leave behind your greatest sorrows, from that Other World. It wants you to be happy, and at peace…be young and free, forever.”

“...Forget him, and be happy.”

“He wants them to forget -- wants you to forget. He wants you to forget you ever had a family -- a home, a life before Neverland. All he wants you to know is that you’re one of his. For if you remember anything else...well, then you wouldn’t be his anymore. With your memories gone, you would have nowhere else to stay but with him.”

Carewyn felt her eyes welling up with tears and she clenched her jaw, trying to look brave.

“You’re a liar,” she choked.

Despite her words, she was full of a dread and foreboding she could hardly describe. Hook seemed to know it too, and he cleanly yanked his hook from the wall.

“If you want your proof, just look at the two boys that came with you, Winnie,” he said lightly. “Charlie and Bill, I believe you called them? Brothers, you said they were -- born of the same mother, back in the world you were from. Do you think their mother was where they learned that shepherd rhyme, the one Bill taught you? Did you know their mother, little Winnie? How much of her do you remember now? Do you even know if she’s dead or alive? How much of their family do you think Charlie and Bill even remember?”

“Stop it!”

Clearly all of this had struck a nerve. Carewyn wrapped her arms tightly around herself and withdrew, trying desperately to keep herself from completely breaking down. 

Hook, however, merely used her shrinking posture to lord over her like a quiet, dark shadow. It made Carewyn feel tiny -- smaller than she ever had before -- shrinking in the face of such oppressive, silent darkness.

“They...wouldn’t forget,” Carewyn whispered. “They love their mother. They wouldn’t forget her...”

They couldn’t forget their mother...Carewyn’s heart felt like it was being ripped in half, just imagining it. She loved her own mother so much -- to make her dearest friends forget their family --

“Not out of their own will, perhaps,” said Hook softly. “But they weren’t given much of a choice, were they? Orion Amari simply...took them. Took them away from that world where they remember who they were, with no intention of sending them back...”

“Orion did not just ‘take them!’” Carewyn said fiercely.

“No,” Hook said pitilessly. “No, I suppose he only really wanted you. That was what he and Jack had arranged, wasn’t it? Amari was supposed to bring you to Neverland -- keep you away from me. Your two friends...were just a lovely little perk.”

Cold flooded Carewyn’s entire body like an ocean wave.

Was...was that true? That Orion had only brought Bill and Charlie along because of her? It was likely that they wouldn’t have let her go alone, if Orion had invited just her. But Orion had said he’d bring them back home --

Wait. No, he hadn’t. Bill had left his parents a note, to tell them where they’d gone...then Charlie had said they could be back home in time for supper. And Orion...Orion had just shrugged. He’d never said he’d take them home...

“…Forever is an awfully long time,” Carewyn’s own words came back to her, followed by Orion’s response --

“And yet it can feel like nothing at all.”

He knew. He’d known they’d lose track of time, hadn’t he? Even though Bill and Charlie had only intended to stay overnight and be back the next morning...even though it was clear that they’d been gone far longer than just one day...Orion hadn’t said anything.

“You belong here, Carewyn. With us. The Lost Kids.”

Orion had never intended to bring Carewyn home. And because Bill and Charlie had come with Carewyn...he never intended to bring them home either.

Now many people, children or otherwise, would’ve been overwhelmed with anger, resentment, maybe even hatred toward Orion in this moment. Ashe had certainly expected such a reaction. Instead, however, Carewyn only seemed to shrink further -- losing the last spark of resistance she’d had as her blue eyes flooded with fresh tears.

“...It’s my fault...” 

The words fell from her lips without her even realizing it. They made Ashe straighten up sharply, startled. Hook, however, only seemed to gain a darker tone to his eyes.

“It is,” he said as softly as a demon might whisper in someone’s ear. 

He bent down to get down on Carewyn’s level, but it only served to make him look more like a predator, as that malevolent look darkened further in his forget-me-not eyes.

“Orion Amari only wanted you,” he whispered. “Your brother only told him to find you. If it weren’t for you, Bill and Charlie would still be safe at home, with their mother. They wouldn’t be Lost -- doomed to forget everything and everyone they ever loved...motherless and lonely, running from the likes of me. They’d be living their lives safe at home with their family. If that family even still exists.”

Overcome with emotion, Carewyn covered her face in both hands. She tried incredibly hard not to break down into sobs, but tears leaked out of her eyes despite herself as she crumpled in on herself, her shoulders quaking. His eyes still dark with that cold, snake-like blackness, Hook very slowly brought his arms around the small girl and actually embraced her.

“There, there, Winnie,” he murmured. “I know it hurts. Betrayal always hurts...”

His silver hook ended up right beside her neck as he brought his china-white hand through her ginger hair.

“But you see now why I cannot allow you to return to the likes of Orion Amari. He only ever played with your emotions from the start -- took advantage of your kind heart, to get what he wanted...”

Ashe couldn’t help but keep a very close eye on the hook resting against the crying child’s helpless neck.

“You are one of mine, Winnie,” Hook said with a serpent’s attempt at kindness. “My blood and my flesh. It’s only natural that I would do all matter of things, to ensure you remain safely here, with me. If Amari or his Lost Kids ever took you from me again...I would have all the motive in the world to hurt them, if only to protect you from them...”

Carewyn looked up, horror in her teary eyes.

“No!” she said. “No, I won’t let you -- !”

“It’s all up to you, Winnie,” said Hook. “I will not forget your existence here. And I will not rest until you are mine. I will do anything I have to in order to make sure you and Jack remain here, on my ship...”

His blue eyes sparkled with more of that dark, satisfied glint. 

“...Ah yes...and that’s the other rub, isn’t it? Now that you know Jack is here with me...could you live with yourself if you did leave? Could you forget that your brother is here with me -- alive and alone, on my ship -- sailing under my flag and following my orders? Could you bear it if your precious Amari hurt your brother while fighting my crew -- maimed him, as he did me?”

Carewyn flinched as the pirate captain tapped his cold hook against her neck. 

Ashe’s lips knit together as his black eyes narrowed. He’d known Hook was a wicked man -- he was a pirate, so that was par the course. And Ashe knew that Jack would ultimately be happier in his sister’s company than being separated from her forever...it was the reason he’d even revealed Carewyn’s existence in the first place. He’d wanted Jack to be reunited with his sister. Then he would have everything he wanted and needed in Neverland, and...he would stay. He’d forget the Other World and his life there and happily stay...

But even so...Captain Hook truly was a heartless bastard.

Carewyn was shaking visibly now -- not just from her sobs, but through legitimate fear. As she shook, though, she went deathly quiet -- and eventually, all of the shaking seemed to have blasted some fresh adrenaline through her.

“I -- I’ll stay,” she burst out. “But -- but you have to do something for me, first!”

Hook cocked his eyebrows.

“You said your word is your bond,” Carewyn said with as much courage as she could muster. “Well, so is mine. ...I’ll give you what you want...but you have to give me what I want, first.”

Hook looked almost intrigued. “And what is that, little Winnie?”

“You have to let me go back to Orion,” Carewyn said very firmly. “You have to not follow me, or have me followed, on my way back to his hideout. Give me one night to send Bill and Charlie home. Then I’ll come back here to stay. ...I give you my word.”

Ashe’s brows furrowed. It was astounding enough that Jack’s sister was brave enough to try to make a deal with Captain Hook himself -- but she made no deal to advance herself: only to protect her friends and return them to their family. Even Orion Amari...even with how much she had to have resented him for how he’d tricked her and her friends...even he had somehow earned her protection, in this moment.

Ashe didn’t think he’d ever encountered anyone quite so selfless in all his life. Certainly not aboard the Jolly Roger. And clearly, neither had Hook -- and that was why he slowly rose to his feet in something like triumph, his eyes narrowing and his lips spread into a cold smile as he extended his only hand to her.

"...Very well. I will allow you to return to Orion Amari, one last time. You may tell your friends the truth of his deception -- perhaps even challenge him of the validity of it, if you so wish. And then, by nightfall, you will return, and never leave again.”

“You promise you won’t follow me?” Carewyn challenged him.

“I do.”

“And you won’t have me followed either?”

“I will make no attempt to seek out Amari’s hideout through your return.”

Carewyn’s shoulders relaxed ever-so-slightly, even as her jaw clenched slightly and she gave her best attempt at a stoic nod. Her face was as white as a sheet as she took his hand and shook it to seal the deal.

"We have an accord,” said Hook.

Gently releasing her hand, the pirate captain headed back to the table where Blaise’s tea service was still set up.

“When you return, Winnie, I should like very much if you sang for me again,” he said without looking at her. “Perhaps for your brother and the rest of the crew, as well. All of us do so enjoy singing, to pass the time.”

Carewyn couldn’t look at him either -- her eyes instead flitted to the far corner.

“...Yes, sir.”

Her eyes landed on Ashe. He too was looking at her out the side of his eye, looking more uncomfortable than ever.

“Good,” said Hook. “Your brother has baldly refused to sing for me once, since he arrived, even when all of us crew members have chosen to sing together. It has greatly displeased me...”

He picked up the empty blue cup in the set, cradling it lightly.

“I’m sure you think I’m very cruel, Winnie,” he said airily. “But truly, once you return home to stay, I think you will see I can be kind. Especially when someone has given me proper motivation to do so.”

Hook glanced over his shoulder at Carewyn, still cradling that blue-patterned cup. The bottom of it was a faded gray -- stains likely left by that “black licorice” drink he’d poured into it so many times before.

“You see this tea set?” he indicated the one he was holding, as well as the red, yellow, and green-patterned ones. “I forget where I first purchased it -- but an image I do retain is of four children, each one holding one of these four cups...”

Something misty trailed over his eyes.

“...My children, I think...” he murmured.

That mistiness passed quickly.

“...The child that held this one was very quiet -- soft as a springtime breeze and frail. Her eyes were like mine, her face heart-shaped, and her hair, long and blond. And she was gentle -- intelligent and patient, calm and serene...”

Carewyn could see a restrained, but loving smile on the inside of her eyelids -- her mother’s smile. The shift in her expression made Hook tilt his head a bit, examining it.

“She’s familiar to you, isn’t she?” he asked. “That child that was mine?”

Carewyn nodded without looking up. Hook’s forget-me-not eyes narrowed that bit more.

“You are Lane’s,” he murmured. Had he lost sight of that fact temporarily, in all this? “She was mine...and so too are you.”

His pale, doll-like face was very unreadable as he gently slid the tea cup into Carewyn’s hands, making the little girl look up in surprise.

“I realize my kind of brew isn’t to your taste,” said Hook with a very small smile, “but I hope you will keep this -- as a memento of your mother, who I likewise wish was with us.”

Carewyn looked from Hook to down at the teacup and back. Her squirming stomach that made her distrust and dislike the man who had broken Jacob’s leg and was threatening the safety of everyone else on the island was painfully at odds with her heart, aching with longing and grief for her mother.

“...Thank you,” Carewyn said at last, very reluctantly.

Pleased by her lack of resistance, Hook shot a cool look at Ashe.

“Take her ashore, helmsman, and then return promptly. Winnie knows the way back to us, after she’s dealt with her affairs.”

Ashe’s eyes narrowed a bit. “...Yes, sir.”

He averted his eyes when Carewyn looked at him, instead heading over to the door and holding it open for her.

“After you,” he said brusquely.

Glancing at the pirate out the side of her eye, Carewyn swallowed, before -- securing the blue teacup safely beside her heart in both hands -- she forced herself to plow out of the door, right out onto the deck. 

The other pirates with eyes like hers -- Pearl, Claire, and Blaise -- all quickly looked up at her at the helm. They watched her follow Ashe across the deck and then onto the gangplank toward shore -- Blaise even went to go confront Charles, when he likewise came out onto the helm -- but both Carewyn and Ashe stubbornly kept their eyes averted, trying to pretend they weren’t there. Carewyn desperately looked around for some sign of Jacob, but he wasn’t anywhere to be found.

“He’s down in the brig,” Ashe reminded her under his breath. “He’ll likely remain there until you return.”

Carewyn looked up at Ashe, startled. The Pirate Without Pirate Eyes had very stiff shoulders and his voice was oddly hard, but his face betrayed some shame despite his best efforts. 

Carewyn considered him carefully. 

“...You’re not part of our family, are you?” she asked after a moment.

Ashe scoffed. “Of course not -- I don’t look a thing like you.”

Carewyn frowned deeply, clearly confused. Ashe stole a look over his shoulder at her and then scoffed again.

“Hn -- if you’re thinking Hook coerced me to join, then you’re wrong,” he said dryly. “I wasn’t forced to become a pirate -- I chose to. I had nothing to live for and even less to die for, so I came here. I joined Hook’s crew of my own free will -- and I stay for the same reason.”

Carewyn’s blue eyes grew a little smaller.

“Yeah, yeah, judge me all you like,” Ashe said coolly, “your brother’s more than rambled on about how much of a saint you are and how sweet and brave and kind you are and all that. But I like being a pirate. I like not having to answer to anyone -- to not having to impress anyone, or look out for anyone except myself. Your brother does too, whenever he forgets to feel sorry for himself. He’s been able to be happy here -- at least until he remembers how much he misses you...”

Despite the bluntness and defensiveness of Ashe’s posture, something a little more pained and almost jealous rippled over his features saying this.

“He’s miserable...thinking of being apart from you,” he said more lowly. “Whatever stupid thought he had in giving you over to Amari -- whatever idiotic idea made him hurt himself and you, by keeping the truth from you and staying away from you...he can’t let go of his past and be happy, so long as he’s separated from you.”

He stole another look over his shoulder at her. Upon finding that she was looking right at him, though, he quickly looked away again in a vain attempt to obscure his emotions again.

“You’ll both be much better off together here than apart,” Ashe said brusquely. “Sure, maybe Hook’s a villain, and yeah, maybe you’ll have to toughen up and accept that life’s not fair and Neverland isn’t all sunshine and rainbows...but well, you’ll survive it. Your brother has. I have. And even if things aren’t perfect...well, we’re both Lost too, even if we’re not kids anymore. ...We’ve just been Lost together.”

Carewyn didn’t answer. Ashe wanted to look over his shoulder at her, but he could feel her eyes on his back and so stubbornly kept his focus ahead as they reached the section of the woods where he’d first found Carewyn, not far from Pixie Hollow.

“Here you are, then,” Ashe said dismissively. “Hook will expect you tomorrow, before nightfall.”

Carewyn bowed her head solemnly. “Yes.”

There was an uncomfortable silence. Avoiding her eye, Ashe stuffed his hand in his pocket and turned on his heel to leave.

“Well...see you around.”

Ashe was startled by Carewyn taking his hand. When he looked at her, he found a very pale, but oddly brave look on her face.

“Thank you,” she said, her voice coming out rather strained.

Ashe blinked. He then almost immediately tried to brush it off. 

“For what, walking you to shore? I was just following orders...”

But Carewyn shook her head. “No. I mean for...well, what you said earlier. I don’t agree with you, at all,” she added, meaning to clarify. “I don’t want to be a pirate...and I don’t think Jacob does either, not really. Especially not under someone like Hook.”

Her blue eyes softened.

“...But you said...you were Lost too. And that...well, when Jacob was here, in Neverland...you two were Lost together. And even if I know Jacob didn’t tell me the truth because he wanted to protect me...I think you only told Hook because you were trying to be a good friend...not because you wanted Jacob hurt or locked up.”

Ashe was horrified by this idea. “Well, obviously! I mean, sure, I knew Hook would be mad, and yes, he has taken his anger out on Jack before, but -- well, you were going to be part of his crew, which he wanted, so I thought...”

He brushed off the end of the sentence, not seeing the need to go on about whatever fake outcome he’d conjured up in his own head. Carewyn didn’t seem to mind, though.

“It’s okay. I’m not mad at you -- and I’m sure Jacob isn’t either, even if he might act mad at first. I just...well, like I said...thank you. For being there for Jacob. I’m really glad he had you, the way I had Bill and Charlie.”

Ashe stared at Carewyn for a moment, perfectly bewildered. He felt his face flushing and, very quickly, he looked away, trying and failing to hide his embarrassment.

“Well...uh...I...”

His sharp-lidded brown eyes betrayed something a bit more fragile as he glanced at her. She offered him a weak, but still rather brave smile, and gave his hand a squeeze as she released it. She then turned on her heel toward the woods, taking a deep breath before slowly starting to walk away.

“Are you going to be okay from here?” Ashe asked, before he could stop himself.

Carewyn turned back around to look at him, startled. Ashe wanted to hit himself -- where had that come from? Had Jack astral-projected himself out of the brig and momentarily possessed him or something?

Carewyn, however, gave him a kind smile and nodded.

“...Mm-hmm. I know the way back, from here.”

Ashe knew she wasn’t just thinking of her way back to the Lost Kids’ hideout either, from the way her eyes dimmed, glancing past him toward the horizon. Even despite the darkening of her expression, though, she kept that slightly strained smile on as she turned and disappeared into the trees. Her hands were clasped over her heart, holding the blue-patterned teacup that her mother had used so long ago.

Despite her hesitation at accepting Hook’s “gift,” she cradled it in her hands with the utmost care.

Oh, Mum, she thought, as all of the hard-fought courage she’d been desperately clinging to slowly fell from her face. You warned me about how dangerous Captain Hook was...and you were right, Mum, you were right. But...

The thought of Bill and Charlie made Carewyn’s heart hurt.

I can’t let him hurt them, Mum -- and I can’t let them forget their mother like I almost forgot you and Jacob, Mum...

If she did, she knew she’d never be able to forgive herself...

x~x~x~x

Carewyn arrived back at Hangman’s Tree very, very late that night. Only Orion saw her come in, from his spot sitting up in the “cubby” spot inside one of the tree’s branches.

Despite seeing her, though, he did not move or make any attempt to make his presence known. Instead he watched her put down some pretty-looking blue and white Lost Thing beside her little cot, before tucking herself in, curling up in a ball, and going right to sleep.

Orion silently watched Carewyn sleep from afar off and on for a while. At one point, he even floated down toward ground level so as to get a better look at her, as if making sure she wasn’t injured. Her hair was neat and there were no scrapes or blood, but her face...there was disquiet, in how she slept. And her lips...

Orion’s black eyes narrowed ever-so-slightly.

The warm, kind, well-loved-teddy-bear wrinkles at the corners of Carewyn’s lips -- so evocative of resilience to Orion, when he’d first seen her -- were a shade darker now. 

Was her sorrow about forgetting her brother to blame for that? Was...what he’d said about Neverland, about how both he and it wanted her to forget...to blame for it? Was he...?

This thought was so unpleasant that Orion immediately pushed it away, wanting to scare it away like some meddlesome bird trying to steal his lunch.

He hadn’t wanted to hurt her -- that was part of why he wanted her to come to Neverland in the first place. The Other World was full of pain, and Carewyn had clearly known a lot of it, despite still being a child. But here, pain was easily forgotten. Grief and suffering and loneliness...they were all easily forgotten here. He didn’t need to apologize for making her cry. She’d forget she was sad in the first place, by the next morning -- Neverland was good at making people forget pain and sorrow. And if any bit of her sadness remained, he could make it up to her. He could take her somewhere else fun, or bring her a nice gift, or fly with her that bit higher into the sky. Then they could be just as they were...happy and free, like they were with the fairies...

Orion merely brought a hand up and gently patted the top of her ginger head -- just as his Shadow had, when he’d first come to collect it at the Weasley family home. Then, without saying a word, he withdrew to his own cot and likewise went to sleep.

Even if those darker lines remained...she could at least forget what had darkened them in the first place. Then she’d stay, and be free. Then she’d smile again.

[powdermelonkeg]

Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety

If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you

If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

People are allowed to be wrong about you

If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect

Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it

The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something

You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it

Most things are better after you sleep on them

Most things are better after you have a meal

Most things are better after you shower

Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"

If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction

If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction

"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier

If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two

You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction

When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery

People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves

If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it

If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable

If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it

If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it

Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step

Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary

If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike

Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP

No one cares what you look like

If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"

People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company

You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you

If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly

You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will

Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable

Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it

Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier

And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

[musical-chick-13]

I really don't want to make this a political blog, but there is. A big difference between "Neither of the major parties are on board with my values"/"I have criticisms of everyone in the political sphere"/"the political system is inherently flawed, I wish we had better candidates to pick from" (or even, "Wow, there is so much on both sides that really sucks! No one here is a particularly great person!")<-all of which are fair and things I actually do agree with, and "Both sides are, in every single way, on every single issue, literally completely the exact same."

[suiana]

yandere! malewife who is indecisive and can't decide on whether he wants to love or hate (also love, just with insults added instead) you today.

imagine ur cute lil guy that you love going "you're such a horrible spouse i hate you, go die" out of nowhere then you bring up the divorce card and he goes all ballistic

"ugh i hate this. this is the third sandwich I've made for you today and-"

"let's get a divorce."

"if you divorce me i will fuck up your life so bad, manipulate you into thinking that I was the only good thing you had that you have no choice but to get back with me."

like this guy is actually insane. he will not leave you alone and he will actually commit all the atrocities he threatens to do.

"wow this guy looks hot af"

"who? this random on the internet? you like them?"

"yeah this guy is kinda cute ngl"

"why are you looking at him? i will steal his skin and wear it if you keep complimenting him. you only need me. actually, do you want me to look like him? huh? should i start working out? buy a whole new wardrobe? just say yes and I'll do it all for you."

you actually don't know why you married him if he was going to threaten you for every little thing you did. you can't even talk to someone else without him getting all mad and upset. maybe it's cause you secretly like the way he's obsessed over you.

or maybe he's just cute. you'll never know.

what you do know is that you like providing him with what he needs and being the person he relies on. well, tbh, you're pretty sure he's like some secret underground black market trader or something because he gets money from nowhere. money you didn't give him. but you trust what he says. if he says he didn't do it, he probably didn't, right?

"hey honey how come you have 300k more in your bank account? i haven't sent you your monthly allowance."

"i actually harvest people's organs and sell them in the black market."

"...really?"

"no haha just kidding! i just saved up physical cash that you gave me and forgot to put it in until today❤️"

"oh ok"

yeah, you love your malewife 😁👍

[insertdisc5]

📚 A List Of Useful Websites When Making An RPG 📚

My timeloop RPG In Stars and Time is done! Which means I can clear all my ISAT gamedev related bookmarks. But I figured I would show them here, in case they can be useful to someone. These range from "useful to write a story/characters/world" to "these are SUPER rpgmaker focused and will help with the terrible math that comes with making a game".

This is what I used to make my RPG game, but it could be useful for writers, game devs of all genres, DMs, artists, what have you. YIPPEE

Writing (Names)

Behind The Name - Why don't you have this bookmarked already. Search for names and their meanings from all over the world!

Medieval Names Archive - Medieval names. Useful. For ME

City and Town Name Generator - Create "fake" names for cities, generated from datasets from any country you desire! I used those for the couple city names in ISAT. I say "fake" in quotes because some of them do end up being actual city names, especially for french generated ones. Don't forget to double check you're not 1. just taking a real city name or 2. using a word that's like, Very Bad, especially if you don't know the country you're taking inspiration from! Don't want to end up with Poopaville, USA

Writing (Words)

Onym - A website full of websites that are full of words. And by that I mean dictionaries, thesauruses, translators, glossaries, ways to mix up words, and way more. HIGHLY recommend checking this website out!!!

Moby Thesaurus - My thesaurus of choice!

Rhyme Zone - Find words that rhyme with others. Perfect for poets, lyricists, punmasters.

In Different Languages - Search for a word, have it translated in MANY different languages in one page.

ASSETS

In general, I will say: just look up what you want on itch.io. There are SO MANY assets for you to buy on itch.io. You want a font? You want a background? You want a sound effect? You want a plugin? A pixel base? An attack animation? A cool UI?!?!?! JUST GO ON ITCH.IO!!!!!!

Visual Assets (General)

Creative Market - Shop for all kinds of assets, from fonts to mockups to templates to brushes to WHATEVER YOU WANT

Velvetyne - Cool and weird fonts

Chevy Ray's Pixel Fonts - They're good fonts.

Contrast Checker - Stop making your text white when your background is lime green no one can read that shit babe!!!!!!

Visual Assets (Game Focused)

Interface In Game - Screenshots of UI (User Interfaces) from SO MANY GAMES. Shows you everything and you can just look at what every single menu in a game looks like. You can also sort them by game genre! GREAT reference!

Game UI Database - Same as above!

Sound Assets

Zapsplat, Freesound - There are many sound effect websites out there but those are the ones I saved. Royalty free!

Shapeforms - Paid packs for music and sounds and stuff.

Other

CloudConvert - Convert files into other files. MAKE THAT .AVI A .MOV

EZGifs - Make those gifs bigger. Smaller. Optimize them. Take a video and make it a gif. The Sky Is The Limit

Marketing

Press Kitty - Did not end up needing this- this will help with creating a press kit! Useful for ANY indie dev. Yes, even if you're making a tiny game, you should have a press kit. You never know!!!

presskit() - Same as above, but a different one.

Itch.io Page Image Guide and Templates - Make your project pages on itch.io look nice.

MOOMANiBE's IGF post - If you're making indie games, you might wanna try and submit your game to the Independent Game Festival at some point. Here are some tips on how, and why you should.

Game Design (General)

An insightful thread where game developers discuss hidden mechanics designed to make games feel more interesting - Title says it all. Check those comments too.

Game Design (RPGs)

Yanfly "Let's Make a Game" Comics - INCREDIBLY useful tips on how to make RPGs, going from dungeons to towns to enemy stats!!!!

Attack Patterns - A nice post on enemy attack patterns, and what attacks you should give your enemies to make them challenging (but not TOO challenging!) A very good starting point.

How To Balance An RPG - Twitter thread on how to balance player stats VS enemy stats.

Nobody Cares About It But It’s The Only Thing That Matters: Pacing And Level Design In JRPGs - a Good Post.

Game Design (Visual Novels)

Feniks Renpy Tutorials - They're good tutorials.

I played over 100 visual novels in one month and here’s my advice to devs. - General VN advice. Also highly recommend this whole blog for help on marketing your games.

I hope that was useful! If it was. Maybe. You'd like to buy me a coffee. Or maybe you could check out my comics and games. Or just my new critically acclaimed game In Stars and Time. If you want. Ok bye

[tashid4]

Fwb with Katsuki

You were standing in front of the mirror. Final mascara touch-ups, shiny lip gloss. Still only wearing your underwear, undecided about your outfit choice, you suddenly heard a knock on the door. You assumed it was your bestfriend coming to pick you up, you opened the door of your room. But turns out it wasn't her. Katsuki was standing in front of you. Not even bothered by the fact you were half naked in front of him.

Thing is - it definitely wasn't the first time he saw you like this. Definitely not. You and him have been seeing each other in secret for a while now. He would text you when he needed to release some stress. And he would always answer your calls, in the middle of the night when you needed him...

You brought him inside and made him sit on the bed so you could finish getting ready. "What are you doing here?" you asked while applying your favorite lipstick. Dark red. Cherry blood. "I was leaving and I thought I could see my favorite girl before". His comment made you slightly chuckle. Of course he was here for a reason. You had no problem with that. It was a deal. Only sex, no complicated feelings.

Having sex with Katsuki was profitable for you. He was attentive, understanding, open-minded and so fucking sexy. Sex with him was a treat, a blessing.

You put down your lipstick and start walking toward him. Exaggerating every move, swinging your hips and staring at him with big doe eyes. "You also going to the party?" "Yes, Kiri asked me" While you talked you found a place on his lap and slowly started to kiss his neck. Leaving a trail of cherry red kisses on his neck and collar. "You planning on founding a girl uh? Taking her back to your room?" "Yeah probably" You liked that he was honest with you, never hiding anything from you. You knew every one of each others dirty secret. You weren't dating so there was nothing wrong with him sleeping with other girls right ? So why were you feeling this pinch in your stomach ...?

He grabbed the back of your neck and pulled you in for a kiss. Definitely not a soft one. It was rough and passionate like it always was. It was messy and rushed. The expensive Cologne he wore, that you loved so much, filled your lungs and you couldn't resist him anymore. Pushing him on the bed, towering him you start to straddle his lap. "You're gonna find a nice girl uh ? Gonna kiss her on the same bed you fuck me every night ?" "Hmph fuck yes" He stares intensely at your swollen lips, the feeling of your ass rubbing on him driving him insane. He can't help but look at you with admiring eyes. "But I'll always be your favorite right baby? ""Yes my favorite girl"

You knew this was wrong. You knew friends with benefits don't act like this. But you were so obsessed with this man. You were ready to take everything he was giving you. Even if, for the moment, it was just sex.

Hiii it's been so long since i posted smth oopsie but ig we can say im back now. Hope you enjoyed this short fic ^^

[mccromy]

Thinking of Luo Bingge trying to seduce a nice Shizun for himself and failing miserably.

LBG, used to women throwing themselves at his feet just by being in their proximity, utterly confused as SY won't also fall to his knees and beg to be ravished. He doesn't even have a LBH of his own, LBG checked!!!

SY thinks he's handsome and charming and sooo cool, but also LBG will surely kill him if he steps out of line :) no thanks :). And as he finds himself being subjected to over the top courtship attempts, he thinks LBG must want something from him. info? Treasures? No need for this charade, Junshang, you just need to ask!

One time, they get sex pollened and LBG is like "finally! Now he'll beg me to help him with my magical Heavenly demon cum" and SY will just stab himself until the pain and adrenaline overwhelm the horniness and he bleeds out the poison because 1) he's straight! And more importantly "I would never put Luo Binghe in a situation in which he doesn't have the choice to say no!"

LBG is stumped, heals him quickly with his magical Heavenly demon blood, and remains in a state of shock for a week. Also, for some reason he can't stand the sight of Qin Wanyue anymore.

When he does finally pull that bad bitch, he doesn't get rid of his harem (love alone can't heal this man. He also craves the attention as he craves air) and SY understands it. He had his moment, now is time to vanish into the harem and stay the fuck away from Harem politics.

LBG goes to check his new husband, it's been a week since they had some time together, longer since their wedding night, and the sense of accomplishment remains. (Take that Inferior Luo Binghe! Superior Luo Binghe had bitches AND a nice Shizun!) And tries to seduce him into bed, but SY being SY needs to do a little song and dance before getting plowed and LBG has no clue what's going on.

Why won't he say yes immediately?? What do you mean with "aiyah... I'm a bit occupied"??? You're?? My husband??? Open your legs??? Oh! You need to be seduced more?? Alright, I'll do it.

And he tries to tempt him like he does all his wives, bedroom eyes and a deep voice and soft touches and. It. Won't. Fucking. work.

SY doesn't want coaxing! He doesn't know what he actually wants but for some reason this is not doing anything for him (he wants tears and pouts, something that LBG is too prideful to even think about trying).

After a few more attempts Shen Yuan feels his pussy dry out of frustration and goes:

"You know what, Binghe? Just go ask another wife, I'm not in the mood now." And LBG is like,

"Ah my dear husband is jealous, no need, you, exclusively, may have this lord for the night."

And SY is like, offended, because he is actually a bit jealous but how does LBG dare say that out loud?? How insensitive!! Spare this old man some face!! To be a man jealous of those flowers perfuming your garden is so humiliating!! And SY, petty bitch that he is, raises an eyebrow and says, "Perhaps my lord should visit lady (name of wife #78) she has been more neglected than this husband, so she needs our Lord more than I."

LBG gets forceful in his frustration because he wants DICK and HOLE, not HOLE and HOLE! and SY palm strikes him and sends LBG flying. LBG shakes off the dust and stomps fuming towards wife #78's room. Then, unsatisfied, goes to visit five more wives until the sun rises.

After that SY gets snappish and cold and poor LBG is SO triggered.

SY: *glares at him over his fan*

LBG: this reminds me of something that I do NOT want to think about. No, sir. Don't like how it feels.

What did he do?? Why do even the nice Shizuns reject him?? Is there actually something wrong with him??? No. No, it can be.

He'll show his husband! He's rejecting him, hm? LBG will reject him back!! He'll ignore him!!! See how he likes it! Hmph!! He'll come crawling back.

He doesn't. Shen Yuan takes this as a sign Luo Bingge can't be satisfied by a man and, hurt and angry, just lets him.

And Shen Yuan becomes quite the unfavored "wife" and thus a victim of Harem plotting, and he asks to be sent to another residence, much to Luo Bingge's ire. His request gets denied, and SY, feeling like an unwanted pet whose owner refuses to give away out of a sense of ownership, turns even colder towards Luo Bingge.

LBG is a fucking mess. He tries to make SY jealous, let's himself get caught balls deep in the wife of the week by SY. Flaunts his favoritism for others and makes SY watch. But SY doesn't show any reaction to any of it. And when he does, it's just disappointment.

But he's not disappointed that he isn't the one sitting on LBG's lap (something clear in some other wives faces, who stare at the chosen wife resentfully) he's disappointed in Luo Bingge.

And Luo Bingge can tell the difference.

(Sometimes, Shen Yuan thinks, what's cool in fiction is just... Sad and hurtful in real life.)

Luo Bingge does a 180 and now tries to seduce him by courting him like he did before getting married. But Shen Yuan, unlike the other wives, doesn't just forget and forgive the shit Luo Binghe pulled before. He's not snappish, but quiet, still disappointed, sad. He seems to have fallen out of love. And no matter what Luo Bingge does he can't make him fall in love again.

He's tried everything, no matter what he does he just can't close the breach between them.

Luo Bingge just can't win with this man.

And Shen Yuan has not fallen out of love, he's just realized how petty and sad his husband is. And he doesn't know how to reach him, how to help him. LBG thinks they're playing cat and mouse and doesn't realize he actually hurt SY. And when he finally apologizes, SY remarks that he's apologizing that SY was so hurt over LBG's treatment, and not for giving him said treatment. LBG can't understand the difference.

And SY knows him, knows him better than LBG will ever know. And he says he forgives him, but LBG can't tell if he means it or not.

SY does mean it. Because he understands why LBG did what he did, and although it was not right, LBG didn't know any better now, did he? SY won't take this peace of mind away from him just because LBG didn't meet his expectations.

He's not angry, he just feels pity.

Things become amicable once again, but LBG can tell things have not been swept under the rug. Yet SY is just as sweet as he used to be, but there's something different.

SY's touch is no longer reverent nor feverish, but careful. As if LBG is fragile, and LBG both hates and is addicted to it.

LBG can't read him, can't understand him. So he assumes that SY is planning to betray him and is feeling guilty. Ah, his husband allied himself with someone else while LBG and him were at odds? Perhaps? And now he regrets it? No matter, it has happened before with (name of wives #23, #190 and #304) he can take whatever comes.

Nothing happens.

It's driving LBG crazy.

So he tries to force SY to confess, he engineers a kidnapping or something to force him to sell LBG away to his enemies. To spill a secret, anything! In the end things get out of hand and whoever LBG hired turns against him.

SY realizes what's happening mid kidnap and groans. WHY. WHY DEAR HUSBAND? THIS IS SO TRITE?? He told him he wasn't mad!! Is he really trying to gotcha! Him?? Unbelievable.

Many things happen after that.

SY is forced to drink poison that makes his spiritual energy lethal to demons. And LBG'S human cultivation is sealed, so only his demon side is active. The thing is, the poison can eventually kill whoever drinks it if they don't pass it away, even if they're human, the corrosion turns on them. LBG tries to take the tainted spiritual energy for himself. But SY absorbs it, willing it to kill him quicker, not taking any chances. And calls LBG silly and rash, and LBG realizes SY knows they're in this situation because of him. And bursts out crying.

SY kisses him, tells him he forgives him, and he better believe him this time, huh?

SY dies.

LBG tries to revive him in the holy mausoleum but every time the soul enters SY's body the poison kills him again. The poison kills LBG'S blood mites, too. It has fused with Shen Yuan's cells, a product of him absorbing it, and now his body is unable to live longer than what it takes for Shen Yuan to take a first and last breath.

LBG traps SY's soul inside a locket and carries him everywhere. Touches it constantly to make sure it was there. The gesture both familiar and confusing until he remembers he once had a mother who'd gifted him a pendant that he lost many, many decades ago.

How could he have forgotten it?

After years of desperation, he reads about the sun-moon dew mushroom. And when he goes searching for it, he realizes the realm merger killed off all the sun-moon dew mushroom seeds.

He crumbles.

And only then he finally understands his husband and why their marriage never worked.

Because LBG didn't actually love SY. He was possessive of him, yes, attracted to him. But he did not love him, he just used him to prove that other Luo Binghe he could have it all, an empire, an harem, and a Shen Qingqiu. (Shen Yuan, his name was Shen Yuan. He hated it when Luo Binghe called him Shizun, why did he keep insisting?)

Luo Bingge never loved Shen Yuan.

But Shen Yuan did love him.

He saw him for the beast he was and took him into his arms. Luo Bingge never had to prove himself to Shen Yuan, and no matter how he tried to hide the most shameful parts of him, Shen Yuan could see them clear as day, and loved him all the same.

He held Luo Bingge's flaws like something fragile, he protected them.

He didn't hold them over his head, like Luo Bingge would've done.

He didn't love him in spite of them, like his wives did.

Shen Yuan looked at the cruelest man in the world and, even after being subjected to Luo Bingge's cruelty, kept him close to his heart so the world didn't have the opportunity to make him crueler.

And Luo Bingge killed him.

And in that moment, when he finally was able to under his husband, Luo Bingge falls in love with Shen Yuan.

He came back to his palace and locked himself in his late husband's rooms, became mournful, lost interest in sex and food and bloodshed. Held that precious locket in his hands and wept.

Until one day, he began hearing Shen Yuan's voice. Faintly, as if far away. And then just as clear as if his husband whispered in his ear.

The locket had become cursed by harbouring a human soul for so long. But Shen Yuan never asked anything impossible of him, never tried to hurt him as any other cursed artifact would do.

He'd ask him to sleep, to please eat. To cook, doesn't he love to cook? Why don't you try again? He'd say, "Ah, Binghe, look up! That's a Silver Blood Hummingbird ! Oh, I thought they were extinct, isn't it beautiful?"

And Luo Bingge with only a voice for company, the love of a man he could not touch, would finally find the peace that eluded him his entire life. He'd understand that other inferior Luo Binghe, and he'd abandon his palace, leave his empire in disarray no matter how much Shen Yuan nagged at him to "take responsibility!"

He'd search for creatures and plants that went extinct after he so thoughtlessly united the realms. He'd find some, hidden away in small pockets of space, untouched by his sword. Some still thriving in hidden realms. And he'd hear as his husband excitedly tells him all there's to know about them. He'd cook and set an extra plate, let Shen Yuan guide him until he finally learned to play the guqin, an opportunity he was robbed of many years ago.

And one day, hidden from the world and greedy hands, he'd find a grove filled with thriving sun-moon dew mushrooms.