#also yes this is my sales pitch

[lorepossum]

Hiromasa, literally one minute after meeting an innocent, pretty Ordainian who’s literally just there to try and sell mead:

[impulsivelycontentious]

Uh babe? Being an ass about people's spelling illustrates more how out of touch YOU are than how out of touch THEY are. There are many reasons spelling doesn't always work out or people have wrong ideas about words - of which not reading compex text is not one of them.

Also you should absolutely read spinning silver. It's good shit. 🤷‍♀️

I dunnow maybe read for fun more often than for clout. Reading at all is good. Difficulty with analysing isn't because of the subject matter - we see EXACTLY the same issue with media literacy in film. People have been mad at how progressive star trek is compared to the good old days since what, the second series?

It's a cultural issue and making people read classics isn't going to solve it. Ironically, the best way to better analyze media is to have honest discussions about it.

And part of that is not being condescending and driving people away from reading because what they enjoy doesn't meet your standards of dep enough. You're SUPPOSED to offer things with similar themes or characters - you know, like librarians generally can, and help expand people's horizons via love of the work.

Not whatever this was.

No babe it’s so cool and hot that you always insist that fantasy books written to meet a 4th graders’ comprehension skills have more complex themes and a greater sense of praxis than anything written for adults

[willyoubemycherryy]

“Who’s your new friend?” (Salesman x reader)

Summary: Your dad’s dark stranger is the one for you. Too bad about his cruel streak….

Contains: sit down chicas this is a LONG one, plot but gratuitous p+rn, dads!friend au, rough sex, edging, pussy spanking, he’s mean :( , choking, drugging, everything IS consensual bc I’m tired of everyone writing him as a domestic terrorlzing rapist, he’s still psychotic and unhinged tho, just not psychosexual because psychotic traits don’t always translate to sexual violence, your dad is sweet but trusting and naive, squirting, pussyspanking unprotected sex (don’t be a dummy, wrap your gummy) begging, degradation, praise, cursing, reader is a bit of a bitch, light dom/sub dynamics, his cock is stuuuupid fat bc I said so and have eyeballs, ur 22 in this period and he’ll spit in your mouth in the next installment of this series :)

A/N: Yeah, he got me y’all😔 Gong Yoo sexy, fine, tall, handsome ass got me😞I’ve been tripping out for 17 days straight over this man sooo…

┆ ° ♡ • ➵ _ _

_ ➵ ✩ ◛ ° . +

You knew your dad often had strange friends but this one takes the cake.

Raising a skeptical eyebrow at the tall man your father was currently introducing you to. Standing over 6 feet in a pitch black suit he was extremely easy on the eyes with full lips, perfectly styled hair, relaxed posture and not a wrinkle in sight paired with the darkest almond eyes you’d ever seen. You rove your eyes over him once more before looking back up to find him staring back at you…

Yes, he was perfectly lovely but was it too soon to assume something about him was..off?

You feel your face warm at how strong his gaze is but you stare back defiantly, mentally cursing your too trusting dad.

“…and since we chat almost everyday during our commute to work- would you guess that we’re both in sales and marketing?- I thought it’d be great to invite him over and talk more in a more comfortable setting!” Your dad says excitedly, smiling as he tells you all about his new friend. The man smiles alongside him, cheeks faintly dimpling and despite your distrust, you can’t take your eyes off of him as you feel your heart beat harder in its cage.

“I was going to call to tell you I was bringing company but you know I forget to use that thing.” ‘That thing’ being a modern phone to a man who was awful with tech. You scoff but nod to let him know you don’t mind (completely) and because you already know how your father is and he continues,

“Oh right! Speaking of forgetting, I don’t remember if I ever mentioned my daughter even though I know I probably did-“, you listen to your dad introduce you and the man smiles even wider as he steps forward, offering his hand to yours in a shake.

“How pleasant to meet you.” Holy shit. His voice is a lot deeper than you expected and you absentmindedly place your hand into his waiting one. The way it completely encases your hand due to its sheer size makes your heart stop before it melts down to a warm pool in your lower stomach, settling in your core like hot tea as you breathe out a shaky exhale. His hand is also rougher than you thought it’d be for a simple businessman as it squeezes yours and a quick flash image of that same hand around your throat has you snatching your hand back as you shoot him a tight smile.

“Right. Back at ya. Um, how old are you again?”

“Ah. Isn’t that improper to ask new people?”

“I’m just curious to how you maintain a career as developed as my dads because you seem so young.”

Oh. You’re quick witted; that makes things a potential hassle for him.

“Well, I’m much older than you. I’m certainly older than your father.”

“Ha! Are you also the Emperor of China-”, You’re cut off as your dad says your name in the way he does when you’re being rude but you ignore it, glaring at the man.

“Be polite! He’s older so you should speak respectfully”, you barely hide the roll of your eyes but your fathers new friend catches it and you swear you hear a huff of amusement from him, the low sound makes you shiver as you turn on your heel to go back upstairs, your dads scolding calling after you.

“Aish! Spoiled! Brat! You were so much cuter when you were younger!”

“Whatever!”

“Bellybutton lint!”

“Old man!”

“Oh yeah?! You won’t be 22 forever!”

The only response he gets back is the sound of your bedroom door slamming while you’re all too aware of the eyes on your back when you’d left. Your dad sighs as he runs a hand down his face. The salesman simply stands quietly, grinning as always as he observes your little spat. Something about it caught his attention though.

“She’s young.” And your father agrees, insisting that’s part of the reason for your behavior, you apparently were “much nicer” and he nods in understanding.

“College age is tricky. I met her mom around her age and things are so much more different than they were back in our day so I try not to be too hard on her but sometimes she’s so-!” He tilts his head as he waits for your dad to find the word.

“Difficult!”

Ah. How cute. A little attitude problem.

That honestly doesn’t surprise him because most pretty little things almost always had one- you were no exception. Though, you yourself were a pleasant surprise. He’d maintained a friendly relationship with your father on a mere whim, finding him to be…nice unlike most he considered nuisances, so when the man invited him over one day he accepted and as he trailed through the door behind him, taking in the warm tones of your house when he spotted you. Standing near the island by the kitchen in shorts so tiny the wide waistband made them look like a mini skirt, the words ‘PINK’ on the back and a snug white tee shirt, the blue of your bra peeking through, you walk towards them smelling of fabric softener and cold vanilla. Your hair was down as you stared at him like you were both scared and wanting with big eyes full of suspicion. The gloss of your lips shining back at him as your lips curl during your inspection of him, lightly arched brow raising as you gave him a thorough once over, eyes flicking back up to his when you were done. You were absolutely delicious to look at. Short, smart mouthed, pretty and prissy.

He didn’t mind the rude way you spoke to him- no- because your eyes tell. You were weary but interested; cynical in all the ways your father wasn’t but that was perfectly fine.

His smile slowly shifted into a smirk as he followed your father to the living room, humming whenever he would speak, but his thoughts were preoccupied.

Thinking of smooth legs on a cute face he’d love to see wet with tears as he spanked your smart ass raw.

•

•

•

When you went upstairs the first thing you did was grab your headphones and tune out.

What the fuck was your dad thinking??

You huff as you flop on your bed, scrolling through your favorite apps while you tried to slow your thoughts.

Everything is fine.

Your dad always has the most unconventional friends and acquaintances so this was probably just that and you were freaking out more than usual because he was unfathomably attractive. That’s it. You just needed to get a grip. But fuck would you love to ride him through the weekend if only he didn’t have such a concerning aura…and wasn’t pals with your dad of-course.

About 2 hours later when you go downstairs to get food and bring it back to your room-answering curtly when your dad asks if you want to join him and the hot stare of the suited man you’re trying to pretend isn’t there.

“Hard no. Do I look like a nurse? You two senior citizens can play amongst yourselves.”

You sigh when you get back up to your room, FaceTiming your friends as you eat, talking about whatever and whoever before you remember you need to organize some of your class notes and say goodbye before you hang up.

It takes less time than you thought it would so when you’re done, you go about your night routine. Teeth, skincare, oversized cotton shirt, lights off as you put on a movie you’ve seen a million times. It’s harder for you to fall asleep when you can still hear his deep voice through the walls talking and laughing with your dad, shaking your core as you toss and turn- physically fighting the feeling- until you fall asleep.

X

Another few hours later, you wake with a start. Something’s not right.

You can still hear the tv downstairs but no voices. The hairs on the back of your neck stand and as you turn your head towards your door- pulling the covers off your legs, the sight of a tall dark figure rips a blood curdling scream from your throat. In that same second the figure steps closer, the light from your tv illuminates him and your heart races as you stare back wide eyed at your dads suited stranger friend. You’re still gasping and reeling as he sits down on your soft bedding, watching with rapt eyes at you trying to calm down from the near heart-attack he almost gave you.

“W-what..what the fuck?!” He smiles as you get up to yell in his face, gesturing wildly.

“Why the hell are you in my-“, you cut yourself off as another realization dawns on you completely and he can’t help the compulsion he feels towards you.

“How long have you been in my room- wait where’s my dad?!” If you knew who he was and what he did for a living, you’d be much more agreeable…or maybe not and that’s what fascinated him about you. You were so unusual. Wanting to steer clear of him instead of on, even though he’d piqued your curiosity, you didn’t blindly follow like every other nuisance did; instead he was the inconvenience and the way you let him know via sharp words and distrusting looks was something he hadn’t gotten in a while. The way you brushed him and your hard working dad off with no more than a pretty glare while probably never having actually worked for anything in your life made him itch to correct you. Make you say sorry- break you back into the sweet girl he knew you could be.

“I swear to god- WHERE IS MY DAD-!“, before you can raise your voice anymore, turning to go find him yourself, he’s pulling you back by your wrist, covering your mouth with his other hand as he hooks his chin over your shoulder cooing at you to calm down - listen to him a bit.

“Shh. Your father is alright, had too much to drink so he’s passed out downstairs but safe nonetheless.” You feel your body relax against your will at his words but you still bite his palm for scaring the hell out of you. The pain that blooms up his wrist from his hand makes him hiss against your ear and you wish it didn’t sound so good before it trails off into a light chuckle.

“I’m going to move my hand. You won’t scream. Understand?” You roll your eyes but nod anyway and a few seconds later his hand is lowered but he keeps you sitting up against him.

“Look- if you’re some kind of extortionist or blackmailer, my dad only works for clean honest compan-“,

“I’m none of those things.” Huh. You’re even more confused but the silence that follows he doesn’t break instead he waits for you, enjoying your discomfort as you shift against him.

“Then what the fuck do you want? Nothing better to do in your ancient age on a Tuesday night besides creep around?” Your mouth would be the death of you and this might very well be the moment as you mouth off to a complete stranger who could be (and actually is) very dangerous but bravado was all you had. You’d seen and heard more than enough to know that an older man in a suit visiting a young girl he didn’t know in the dead of night never ended well.

“I want to chat for a bit.” You tilt your head a bit in confusion but he takes your silence as the go ahead, making your heart pound when he shuffles even closer causing you to feel his firm pecs through his expensive smelling dress shirt; the heady combination makes your pulse race as you fight yourself on whatever it is exactly that you’re feeling but shouldn’t be.

“When your father mentioned you, you sounded like such a nice girl…”, the low way he speaks resembles a purr, words vibrating his chest, thick arms holding you tight to him as his warm breaths coast across your chest and neck.

“Imagine my surprise when I meet you and you’re nothing more than an ungrateful little princess with a pretty face but very nasty attitude.” You feel your face warm in shame at the blatant way he calls you out, immediately defensive as you shoot back,

“What’s it’s to you? If you want to see some obedient thing then get a boarder collie-!” Enough of that. His hand claps down over your throat, squeezing not enough to hurt but enough to make you shut up as your heart rate spikes, nerves going haywire at the sudden cut of oxygen. You get dizzy quick. Blood rushing through your ears like a current of cotton, hand flying up on instinct to pull at his muscled forearm but it doesn’t budge and you whine- biting your lip as your heart beats liquid fire through your body. You were so fucked up, clamping your thighs shut as if that will stop you from getting wet but it’s hard to pay attention to that with a tight hand around your neck and mean lips against your ear.

“Didn’t your father tell you to respect your elders?” He tuts out and you nod desperately, willing to swallow your snideness if it meant getting air. He loosens his grip enough for you and you gasp so hard you nearly choke, the sound turning him on more than it should; he grabs your chin so you face him with teary eyes and he nearly groans at how weak you look. The sedatives he slipped in your dad’s drink would last for a while so for now it was just you and him.

“Answer me.”

“You first-“, you’re quick to shut your mouth as a smirk grows on his face. A fast learner.

“Smart. But”, he pauses to put you on edge before continuing, “because I quite enjoy your father and his company, I don’t like the thought of him being troubled by anything.” His words are sweet but they also fill you with dread because you know how much you intentionally butt heads with your father. Mouthing off at him just to amuse yourself sometimes. You never meant to stress him but messing with him a little was how you showed your affection.

“That includes you as well.” He rasps against your neck, nipping the sensitive skin there with more teeth than tongue and you choke on a moan, breathing hard.

“Okay. Got it. I need to be nicer-”,

“No, you need a firm hand.” Oh fuck. You bite your lip at that, watching through bleary eyes as he rubs his other hand down your chest, brushing your hard nipples through your shirt as he feels up your soft curves. The hand around your throat tightens when he feels you might move but when you don’t he doesn’t loosen it- instead he rewards you with wet, scalding kisses behind that spot under your ear, suckling down until he reaches your collarbones. Your eyes water from all the sensations as you try to rationalize what’s going on before you lose yourself to how good you feel.

The hand caressing over your body doesn’t stop, threatening to burn you alive with the heat it ignites in you. To make matters worse, you can’t even breathe deeply enough to calm down with the hold he has on your neck and you’re reminded of how pathetically wet you are whenever you move your legs as you’re completely naked underneath your shirt. So much is happening but it’s not enough. Fleetingly scarce touches is all you’re being given but you need more. You shouldn’t want this, want him- or anything having to do with him- but you do and that thought scares you more than any potential repercussions.

He watches you with an unreadable expression as you shift constantly, sliding a hand under your shirt to cup your tits, flicking and twisting the stiff nubs cruelly between his fingers. Laving his tongue over each bruise he’s left on your neck before choking you harder, making the veins on the back of his hand show and your mouth drops open, hoarse broken moans falling as your hips twitch upwards. This was how he liked you. Melting into him so obediently…

“You’re going to be a good girl now?” He asks like it’s a question but the even in hazy state you’re falling into, you know it’s an order. He loosens his grip again so you can answer, voice hoarse,

“..y-yeah.” The softened tone you use when you respond makes him hard beyond belief and he bites your shoulder with a satisfied groan and you swear your cunt has a pulse. The familiar burning ache is so blinding that you listen immediately when he tells you-

“Open your legs.”

He almost didn’t hear your sharp intake of breath. He barely noticed the way your hips snapped up to hump his hand… he was preoccupied with just how wet you were. Your arousal coats his fingers as he slides them between your sopping lips making you keen through shuddering breaths as you try to control yourself. A few hard circles to your clit shatters that control as you cry out, needy sobs falling from your gloss smeared lips while you beg prettily for him.

“Please! I-! I’ll-anything! Just-!” His hand collar tightens again as he slides two fingers knuckle deep in your spasming hole, immediately curling them towards him, grinding them against that spongy bundle of nerves inside you and the fire that’s been steadily burning inside you almost makes you black out from how quick it threatens to consume you. You’ve never felt more out of your mind, your cunt so soaking wet it’s audible. White-searing pleasure shoots electricity through every nerve and you’re screaming. Between the fuzz in your head from oxygen loss or the brutal way he’s fucking you with his fingers- the one thing you do know is that if you cum now, you’ll faint.

“Waittt- mm-! S-stopp!!” It’s the struggle of a lifetime to get the words out but you do and when you do, surprisingly- he listens. Taking his fingers out as the strings of your slick drip from them and you cry at the loss, the ache still there but you could at least breathe. You feel a nip at your ear and you only then notice the way you’ve rested your weight completely against him.

“Hmm? What’s wrong?” His voice is thick with arousal from how wonderfully you responded to him. So wet he could taste it in the air as you trembled and cried against him. The water in your eyes spilling down over as they rolled back into your skull. Your face was the perfect erotic expression of tormented bliss as he made you earn air and fight off an orgasm so strong it would’ve put you in a vegetative state.

The sound of your weak sniffles make his cock ache as he lays back on your bed, maneuvering your hips over his as he opens his pants, taking his length out he moans at the pressure relief. Swiping his fat head through your messy folds but not inside.

“Well? I need you to answer me. Or do I need to get it out of you myself?” You shake your head, lifting your arms when he moves your shirt up off you and now you’re completely naked while he’s still clothed. As much as his stare intimidated you, his attentions felt even better, moaning at the dirty kisses his cock gave your hole.

“Was gonna cum…but you didn’t say I could yet”, you reach up to use his arm as leverage while you wiggle your hips and your submission drives him mad with how much he wants to ruin you.

“Aw. That’s cute…but if you came before I let you, what then? Are you smart enough to tell me?” He asks sweetly but the condescending undertone makes you feel dumb as heat blooms in your chest and you will away the fuzz that’s making it hard to think so you can give him a proper answer. One that would please him. The fact that you even wanted to please him was something you’d have to get back to.

“I’d be in trouble?” You say it like a question and less of an answer and he finds your uncertainty so cute as he laughs indulgently at you.

“Close. It’s because you’re my good girl. And my girl only does as she’s told, yeah?” The same trickling tingle at the base of your skull is back again as you mindlessly repeat after him.

“Yeah.” He hums, lining himself up with your drooling pussy, sliding in with one thrust. Gritting his teeth with a heavy groan while you choke on a sob.

“Fuckin’ tight-!” Deep grunting in your ear overwhelming you in the best way and you lose it from how full you are. You could’ve guessed by his height and frame that he’d be packing but it felt fatter than you would have ever been able to accurately guess, pressing effortlessly against every spot that made you see stars.

You were everlastingly grateful your dad was knocked out because the sounds coming from you and your room were beyond incriminating. Even though he wasn’t moving, every-time you did, you could feel the deliciously heavy pressure against your slick walls. Shivers wracking up your body as wheezing fucked out moans left your mouth and you grind down in messy circles until the hand on your throat stops you.

“Look at you. Desperate n’ wet begging to cum. You’d do anything I tell you, huh? Just like a dog.”

A disgustingly pathetic warble is his reply but he wants more from you, choking you hard as he pinches your sensitive nipples.

“Uhhn! Yes!” The sheer desperation in your shaky voice gives him a sick head-rush.

“Open your legs for me.”

You obey before he even finishes his sentence. Thighs falling apart, cooled air over your center makes you moan wetly as you wait patiently. So patiently that the first heavy slap against your pussy winds you by the time the pain registers. As soon as the sting settles, warmth pools in its place, sensitivity heightened as you wail. The stricken sound makes his cock throb inside you.

“Wha-!”, another slap cracks down on your swollen lips, hitting your clit spot on and again and you try in vain to wriggle away.

“You still need to prove to me that you’re sorry for your behavior earlier.” He says, voice casual but no less mocking and you cry. Tears running down your cheeks as your body struggles to adjust and obey. Before you can shout out however many strings of apologies it’ll take for him to let you cum, he strikes your center again, hissing in pleasure at your screams. He feels it. That somehow you’re even wetter, dripping down his balls and smearing your slick all over the front of his slacks. He has half a mind to make you clean it up when he’s done with with you as he spanks your cunt again, biting your ear hard until it reddens.

“If you cum before I tell you, I promise I’ll make this the longest night of your life”, he groans darkly in your ear. You’re blessed that you can still hear him through the bass of your heart’s beat and the loud, wet connect every time his hand comes down. You were so close. The sharp sting and the pained pleasure of swelling warmth his heavy hand left behind was too much and your poor clit couldn’t take much more. Gasping through your tears, you scramble to find the right words.

“‘Lease- please! Ah-m’sorry!” Your raspy voice breaks halfway through when lifts you only to slam you back down on his fat length, flicking your sensitive nub when he meanly asks you,

“Sorry, I didn’t quite catch that. Try again, little girl.” You night just be in for a long night after all.

You could barely breathe from how hard he was choking you, swollen pussy enflamed from countless spanks, and your center was stuffed to the brim as he was so big that he didn’t even have to try to hit your spots. You scratch and wrestle with his hand until he loosens it, gasping and whining, you pray you don’t come from the instant relief it gives you. The rush settling over you like a fuzzy blanket. He shifts below you and you hurry to get the words out before he makes you come without his say-so.

“I’m- I’m sorry! So sorry! Please Sir, can I-!”

Sir. You called him sir.

It’s less of you apologizing but more of you submitting to him, acknowledging him by title that he held superiority over you that pleases him enough to let you cum. Cutting off your sweet begging with more mean, heavy slaps to your wet pussy, basking in your delighted wails as he fucks up into you.

His hand tightens around your throat and this time, you welcome the suffocating pleasure. Scratchy cries escape when they can but you’re so far on the road to ecstasy that you don’t even care how you look or sound, chest heaving as your eyes water. Your cunt feels like it’s on fire but you beg him in every way you can to keep going even though you can’t take it and he does, groaning against your ear as he rubs messily at your throbbing clit.

“So good, baby- you can cum. Make your little mess before I make you beg some more-”, he does not have to tell you twice as everything you’ve been holding, releases and you do make a mess.

Mouth dropped open as you sob and for the next couple minutes hot unending pleasure is all you know as the stinging slaps get faster, ending with harsh circles on your bud after each one and your hole gets even tighter before you go limp- liquid jetting out of you. He fucks you through it with a tight grip on your windpipe, using you like a snug fleshlight until he’s coming harder than he has in a while at the state he’s put you in. He waits until he catches his breath to slide out of you- who’s deadweight as he lifts you off him.

Rolling off the bed, the silence makes him look over at you only to see that you’re out cold. His eyebrows raise as he huffs out an amused laugh, fixing his pants before brushing his hand over your pretty face. He might have overdone it he thinks as he sees your face return to it’s normal, less flushed hue. Leaning down, on impulse he presses a kiss to your cheek, his gentlest touch of the night before getting up and covering your worn naked body with one of the many blankets on your bed.

“You’re a treat in more ways than you know.”

As he stands, before he opens your door to leave, he pulls a card out of his pocket and leaves it on your nightstand then heads back downstairs to get his shoes and jacket. Turning off the tv where your dad sleeps easily and quietly slipping out the door, smiling the entire way. Now he has even more fun.

You.

•

•

•

When you wake up the next morning, you turn with a pleasant ache and stinging between your legs as you stretch, sighing with a blissful smile until you remember why you ache and who caused it.

Pushing yourself up, you stop when you see a card on your stand, rolling to the edge of your bed, you swipe it off and raise it to your face. It’s a picture of lollipop, a simple circle on a stick but the words below it make your chest warm and you don’t even bother pretending to yourself that you aren’t interested in seeing him again.

“Next time I’ll make you even sweeter.”

In part 2…

[kaidatheghostdragon]

Found this while going through my fanfic files, and i absolutely had to share.

Danny: i want in

Red robin: …what?

Danny: your bat family. I want in.

Red robin, blinking in surprise: i dont know what you think you know about my associates, but we're not-

Danny: dont be obtuse. I know youre the smart one. And i also know that your all one big relatively happy family. I want in.

Red robin: …why?

Danny: because you guys are the first people ive found that are wealthy, intelligent and powerful enough to take on my fruitloop godfather and win AND are decent enough human beings that i can be assured that when all is said and done, my well-being will remain a top priority.

Orphan, appearing out of nowhere: new brother!

Danny: *stares in shock*

Danny: *sudden uncanny grin* well that's one convinced. How do i win over the rest?

Orphan: no need. New brother!

Red robin: *pointed glance of betrayal* fine. Who is your godfather?

Danny: vlad masters. He's a fruitloop.

Red robin: for real? B's been investigating him for years! Tell me everything! *genuinely excited for a new lead*

Danny: well, he's tried to murder my dad and marry my mom, gained his wealth illegally, committed voting fraud to become the mayor of my hometown, has a secret underground lab where he does unethical experiments, and he's abducted me more than a dozen times even before my parents disowned me to make me his evil apprentice or whatever. Now that im homeless, he's literally out to get me. Oh! And he's cloned me too! She's cool though, we're buddies now.

Batman, who just arrived but heard everything over comms: hn. (Translation: who are you?)

Danny: my name is Danny. No last name anymore, but im hoping itll soon be Wayne! *winking suggestively*

Batman: hn? (how much do you know?)

Danny: enough to know that youre a much better alternative to vlad.

Batman: …hn (i dont know anything about you. What if youre a spy for vlad?)

Danny, giving his salesman pitch: i was a teen vigilante in amity park before i had to run away from home for my own safety. Vlad is one of my rogues. I know how to fight and defend myself, how to minimize collateral damage in a fight, and ive gotten really good and escaping kidnapping attempts. Ive also managed to reform and/or make allies out of approximately half of my rogues and can talk down about 30% of all rogue confrontations before they turn into a messy fight. The other things i can bring to the table are: one, i can teach all of you guys proper liminality self care; two, i can probably minimize and possibly cure red hood's anger issues; three, i can get along with stabby robin because i consider fighting a friendly social interaction - he can even stab me and i wont be injured by it; four, i can be your go-to guy for supernatural cases so you no longer have to deal with that sad trenchcoat man; five-

Red robin: *blurting* youre hired.

Batman: hn (i am deeply concerned)

Danny: if youre concerned now, wait until i tell you about the anti ecto control act

Nightwing, who showed up in the middle of the sales pitch: ive never seen anyone crack B's grunt language so quickly

Danny: grunt language? He's just using ghost speak - which will be covered by the liminality self care lessons

Robin, who arrived with batman: what is a liminal?

Danny: all of you, of course! Otherwise you wouldnt need to learn about it, obviously

Robin: and why would we trust you?

Danny: did i mention i have a pet ghost dog?

Robin: …you drive a hard bargain

Danny, fist pumping: yes! That's three!

Nightwing: four, you got me when you could understand B's grunting

Red Hood, arrived with nightwing: five, assuming you arent lying about the pit rage

Danny, hand to his chest: i would never!

Orphan: honesty. Earnest. New brother.

Oracle, over comms: six. The anti ecto acts are legit and im terrified for his safety, assuming he's phantom, who is the vigilante of amity park

Spoiler, arrived with orphan: seven, as long as youre down for a few pranks

Batman: hn (ive been outvoted)

Batman: hnn (i dont wanna hear any jokes about adoption habits when you all forced my hand)

Batman: hn (that said)

Batman: welcome to the family

Duke, the next day: man, i miss out on everything exciting.

Duke, blinded by danny: and who the fuck told bruce he could adopt the fucking sun?!

[13thdoodle]

[ EctoberHaunt 2024 Banner ]

Hi hiii~ I get to draw the banner again for @ectoberhaunt this year~ It was a lot of fun :DD

I wasn't sure how to incorporate the gold and silver at first but I think it turn out pretty good

Also thank you to Enn for helping me with the flats I would've pewished ksjadnaksj Sketches and some ramblings under cut

Here's the initial sketch for the banner. I tried my best to keep it close to the sketch or at least have the same energy (hopefully qwq)

As you can see, I drew Sam and Tucker riding a scooter bike originally. But the banner, I try to get as close to canon design as possible. I could not for the live of me remember what episode has the scooter bike. And.. turns out I might've just misremembered the scooter as a motor bike? so I just draw the scooter lol

(This is from the Killer Garage Sale episode btw. I couldn't find the scooter's pict on the wiki so I gotta screenshot it from the episode)

Also speaking of couldn't find reference pictures in the fandom wiki,

I couldn't find pictures of the college trio full body screenshots there. Only the Vlad leaning into the portal while Maddie and Jack looked away. Very useful references, yes.

I used to think that Jack was the worst one here about lab safety (considering he was the main reason the portal exploded on Vlad's face), but Maddie is no better after watching the episode again. Girlie wear big round earrings and leg warmers in the lab. Pretty sure that's... not very safety. Vlad is not better since he does lean very close into the radiation portal so... lol

Anyway, I tried to incorporate their dynamics in the banner. Jack the very excited one and leading the ghost hunt, Maddie following along with more ghost gears, and Vlad... well, I was thinking Vlad could be the 'rational' of the trio and like brings stuffs the other two wouldn't have thought to bring out of excitement (i.e. flashlights in case they need to go through pitch black tunnel so they don't fall off etc etc)

But... you know, that's giving Vlad too many points than he deserves lol. So, I draw Vlad still bringing the bag of extra stuffs, but it's not fully closed so some stuffs fell off on their trails. They all should share braincells and Vlad does not get a turn lol

Also changed Maddie's clothes and give her the teal suit to match Jack and also looks better when she's running

There's not much I can say about the main trio process? I mostly just want Sam to be the one driving the scooter while Tucker handles the navigations or sth. They get to ride scooters to catch up with Danny~

Danny and Tucker's colors a bit ashy bc I color picked them from low res screenshots askjdnaksj I fixed em on the final tho so yea

O yeah, I don't know if it's visible on the final art, but I initially try to give the kids warm shadings and cold lighting (Silver), and the college trio cold shadows and warm lighting (Gold) to fit the themes.

Also the light source.. sorta? The adults has the light source from behind them bc they are in past/past the age in the drawings? And the kids has their light source from in front of them, going into the future and the many things ahead of them kajsdnaksd

[gay-dorito-dust]

Hello ! Just so Agatha all along and I have a request if it's ok 😊

How Agatha will convince witch!reader who has a crush on her to join her in the witch road 👉👈

Gn reader if possible

Thank you ! 😁

Agatha would probably be aware of your feelings in all honesty, and she couldn’t blame you! She’s amazing!

However she’s probably use this infatuation with her to her advantage when her and ‘teen’ come over to your home, following the trail of magic that drew them there. It was noticeable, stronger the other witches she’s recruited but still there was room for growth and new powers.

‘What tricks are we going to have to use to recruit this witch/wiccan?’ Teen asked Agatha as they stood on your doorstep.

‘No tricks, this one’s got a little thing for me, it’s adorable but it means that most of the work in convincing them has been cut out for us.’ Agatha replied as she went to knock on the door, only for it to open on its own to reveal you on the other side.

‘How did?’ Teen questioned.

‘I could sense you the moment you drove into the driveway, your magic is far more potent than others.’ You answered as you stepped to one side with a welcoming smile. ‘Want to step inside and continue this conversation because I don’t think the neighbours will want to hear about the sales pitch you’re bound to give me into joining your cult.’ You add.

‘It’s not a cult it’s a coven.’ Teen interrupts but you weren’t listening when Agatha moved past you, making sure to brush her hand against the back of yours as she does, and immediately you felt your resolve to stand your ground crumble like a deck of cards. It must’ve been obvious as teen only looked at you knowingly as he past into your house and once they were both inside, you shut the door harder then you should’ve but at this point you wanted this to be over with.

‘Go on then, convince me to join you on your journey to the witches’ road.’ You crossed your arms over your chest.

‘I’m assuming you’re more than aware of the fact that if you were to make it to the end of the road, any wish your heart desires can be granted.’ Agatha started.

‘I do know this factoid, yes.’ You said and Agatha crept closer to you until you were a hair’s width away from one another as she now spoke lowly. ‘Then I’m also lead to assume that you know that extends to crushes, infatuations, all that important stuff also.’

‘Yes but I’d much rather the feeling to be mutual without the usage of magic, as ironic as that sounds.’ You replied as you stared deeply into her beautiful eyes.

‘And it can be,’ Agatha whispered as she grasped your hands with her own, intertwining your fingers, ‘I really need you by my side y/n as my moral support, my confidant and my strength during the most difficult situations that we’ll face.’ Agatha could see that you were buying her sales pitch into getting you on the witches road, but knew she couldn’t stop there and decided to make this visit short and sweet she adds.

‘I wouldn’t want anyone else to join me on the witches’ road other then you my dear, you have the potential to be the most powerful witch/wiccan in our coven. All those other witches can barely hold a candle to your fire. I need you.’ She finishes and teen had to give it to Agatha, she was certainly an actress when she needed to be as he watched you both as though he was watching his favourite drama.

You were at war with yourself. You swore that you wouldn’t resort to magic for even the most simplest things, never less the witches’s road, you knew the stories of how dangerous it was but your infatuation with Agatha tended to lead you into doing something stupid; even agreeing to going on the Witches’ road with nothing but the hope that Agatha might actually see you for once.

However before you could reason with yourself, your mouth moved faster then your brain could intervene with logic and common sense. ‘Fine, I’ll join.’

‘Yes!’ Agatha and teen cried as Agatha brought you into her arms, holding you tight so that you didn’t see the smirk across her face, that wasn’t so hard if anything it was barely even took her five minutes to get you to say yes; she didn’t understand why she didn’t come to you first just to get it over and done with, every other witch before you was a tougher nut to crack then the last. You were merely the reward for a hard days work.

‘You won’t regret this darling, that I promise you along with power, love and so much more.’ Agatha tells you as she rubs your back.

You poor, idiotic fool, let’s pray you do survive the road and not die with a broken heart when you realise the truth…

[jesncin]

seeing a lot of "if you want non Bats or Supes characters to get more comics you have to actually buy the comics to support niche characters" especially in response to supporting Absolute Martian Manhunter (who the team admits has historically been a tough sell).

While I get it, it's also just so overly simplistic to blame consumers to have to work against a broken capitalistic system. It doesn't take into account that publishers don't invest in marketing, that pre-order sales are everything (which relies on readers knowing these titles exist months in advance, pre-ordering it ideally at a local comic book store, if there even is a comic book store nearby, if the title isn't axed due to poor sales, etc) and that sometimes you just don't want to monetarily support a run anymore even if it has your beloved niche character attached to it.

maybe it's because I'm fresh off of Dead In America but I think it's unreasonable to keep insisting fans need to throw money at runs that weren't good or worse yet had horribly offensive depictions of marginalized characters just "to get more Constantine comics!". I get giving writers/artists chances to improve especially how even with all its faults, Hellblazer 2019 was extremely promising so "hopefully the depiction of sign language improves in the next run" is a reasonable thing to believe, but we got to see what a continuation of the run is like. It was a racist + ableist mess that had a Black character constantly brutalized and then had his disability "cured". There's only so much grace readers (especially marginalized readers) can give to a run like that.

So yes, support the comics and characters you want to see with your money. But also, maybe I don't want to use my money to send DC Comics the message "I like that John Jones is white this time" just to see more Martian Manhunter comics. Maybe I subjectively don't like the sound of the pitch, and would rather spend my money on Absolute Wonder Woman.

[sixosix]

hiii i fear tumblr may have ate my ask so i'll say it again just in case--if not im so sorry please ignore this i don't mean to rush you or anything :')

wanderer, candy(does that count?), fluff!! :D

(oh oh also can i be 🪐anon/saturn anon? if not thats fine! i just thought i'd ask since i think i've been sending asks consistently enough to identify myself ^^)

notes wc 800; HII your ask wasnt eaten, i was just taking a long time writing the requests LMFAO. of course u can be saturn anon!!! welcome welcome to the blog (this ask was sent a month ago and i am very much late. idek if anon is still active here…) tbh i wrote this and just went with the flow HAHA

5K EVENT SPECIAL | EVENT MASTERLIST

You unceremoniously dump the pile of imported goods on the table, causing quite a scene in the silence of the House of Daena. They scattered about, and some even clattered onto the floor. You grinned proudly at your friends’ dumbfounded stares.

Tighnari was the first to speak. “I’m assuming you had fun on your vacation in Inazuma?”

“Do you even have money left?” Alhaitham asked, quite incredulously. The most emotion you’ve seen from this month.

It took you a moment to respond, and you felt momentarily distracted by the strange sensation of being watched. “Well, no,” you said eventually. “But I bought all this for you guys! Be more grateful, will you?”

Kaveh clapped his hands. “This is incredible! I haven’t gotten the chance to try any of these local delicacies from Inazuma!”

You nodded approvingly. See? Was that so hard? “Yes, I know. Aren’t I such a good friend? You’re welcome, all of you.”

Belatedly, they mutter their thanks.

You went on a tangent, reciting the food sales pitch you memorized from the sellers, feeling remarkably intelligent. They didn’t have to know that, half the time, you were the personification of a lost tourist/foreigner/idiot in Inazuma and just decided to play it safe and keep most of the souvenirs as food.

They segregated their wanted share and thanked you again. They left you some of the candy, which you had no qualms about eating for yourself. As you all fell into the lull of a conversation, the feeling worsened, and you’ve had enough.

You turned to your friends. “He’s been staring at me for about 30 minutes now…”

They each cast their discreet glances.

“Are you scared?” Kaveh asked worriedly.

“Look at that look in his eye!” you said. “I’ve seen that same look in Rishboland Tigers!”

“He’s not going to eat you,” Tighnari sighed. Well, he wouldn’t know that. Only Alhaitham has met Hat Guy, and he seemed to be amused instead.

“Violence is not permitted in the Akademiya grounds,” Cyno said seriously.

“Maybe it’s not you he’s looking at…?” Tighnari tried.

“Cyno, switch with me,” you ordered.

Wordlessly, he obeyed. The group watched in disbelief as Hat Guy’s gaze simply moved to where you sat next. He wasn’t even trying to hide it.

“Maybe he’s interested because it’s a candy imported from Inazuma,” Cyno supplied thoughtfully.

“That’s a good point. I’m surprised you didn’t make a p—”

“Don’t you mean—” Cyno held up the box that displayed the Inazuman Electro symbol on the front, “shocked?”

You hung your head. You spoke too soon. “OK.”

Tighnari watched your face for a long moment, but it didn’t feel as charged as the guy sitting a few tables away. “You don’t seem to hate the attention,” he concluded at the sight your giddy smile.

“No, I really don’t,” you admitted sheepishly. “He’s smart, and he’s handsome. Of course I’m interested. I just wish he would be a bit more normal about his flirting—if he’s even flirting. Should I give him some?”

You didn’t wait for an answer as your chair scraped backward and you faced Hat Guy directly.

“Make sure it’s just the candy you’re giving!” Kaveh called out.

“I see that Sparks are flying,” Cyno said.

Walking over while you held his gaze was excessively awkward, but it was worthwhile seeing Hat Guy’s little smirk grow like he was pleased you were taking his challenge. It was a bit of a problem, however, that he was undeniably attractive. If he was cute from afar, he was drop-dead gorgeous up close.

“Y/N,” you said, in place of a greeting.

“They call me Hat Guy,” he mused. “Those from Inazuma?”

“Yes.” Suddenly embarrassed that the bullshit you were spewing was picked up on by the guy who everyone was pretty sure was born in Inazuma. “Did you hear me?”

Hat Guy shrugged, plucking one candy from the pile on your hands. “You did pretty well. But I only have one criticism, and I can tell you bought most of them from the same place.”

Ah, you did do that. He tore off the plastic and popped it into his mouth, expression turning sour. “The best ones come from the locals. You should’ve asked the kids,” he advised.

Mouth dry, you said, “Yeah, I should’ve.”

Everyone told you that the mysterious new student—Hat Guy, you now learned—was prickly and slips off when someone approaches him. His birthday was apparently a very thrilling event—in the case that everyone had to hunt him down to give him his cake.

“Want a tip?” he asked, head tilted and looking entirely pretty. His tongue rolled around as he ate his—your candy.

“You seem to know best.”

“Take me with you next time.”

[reallyhatethiswebsite]

cat and mouse with Raphael and Tav for cutie anon (this got way too long im sorry)

Read on AO3

-

Making wagers with a devil were never a good idea, but Tav’s sense of self-preservation had dissolved long before a cosmic tadpole was put in her head. Besides, she had it on good authority (her own) that this particular devil (usually kind of sort of maybe) played fair, and since she was already warming his bed and wetting his cock whenever he wanted, she felt she had little to lose. Still, she’d waited until he was in a good enough mood before she proposed her idea, just in case.

“Let me see if I understand this correctly,” said Raphael, one fine eyebrow raised, “you want to…play. Yes?”

“Yes,” said Tav, trying not to squirm at the flat, juvenile way he phrased it. He sat squinting behind his desk in his study as she made her sales pitch, as if to say: make me understand why you’re wasting my time. “A cat-and-mouse kind of game, since you’re so fond of that metaphor. I’ll hide somewhere in the house, and you have to find me within a certain amount of time or you lose.”

“And why,” he drawled, though Tav knew him well enough to see he was considering it, had already mentally abandoned whatever he’d been doing, “would I agree to this?”

“Let’s make it a wager. If I win, I get to keep those gauntlets of hill giant strength.”

“Ah, the ones you’ve already put your pilfering hands on several times…” Tav blinked innocently. Raphael tsked. “What do I get when I win?”

She shrugged, ignoring his ‘when’ not ‘if’. “That’s up to you. What do you want?”

The devil smiled at her then, a slow, smouldering thing that lit simmering flames in her belly. Excitement raced through her blood. Therein lay the secret, the thing she truly desired from this game: to be hunted by Raphael, the cambion, the devil she’d chosen as her lover. On some level Tav was certain he knew, and she was also certain it appealed to him just as much. “Hmm…I think I’ll decide my prize when the time comes,” he said, eyes half-lidded. He rose to his full height. Tav experienced a sharp thrill. “Alright, little mouse. You have yourself a wager. Shall we begin?”

“Rules first. I get a five minute head start. If you don’t find me in, let’s say, twenty minutes, I win. And you can’t cheat, either. No using your debtors or tracking and location spells or anything like that. Fair and square.”

“I don’t need to cheat to catch you,” Raphael purred, amused. “I’ll play by your rules, as long as you keep playing by mine and stay out of the places little mice aren’t meant to be. Can you do that?”

“Of course I can.”

“Good girl. Well, then…” He slunk around his desk, gently dragging one claw along its wooden surface, staring at her the entire time. He leaned against it, crossed his arms. Tilted his head. His tail swayed, hypnotic. He was ready to play. Tav’s heart began to thunder. “Time’s ticking, pet. Better start running.”

He didn’t have to tell her twice. Tav spun on her heel and took off. A nervous, girlish giggle escaped her. She considered if, perhaps, she’d bitten off more than she could chew, but in for a penny in for a pound. She didn’t have a particular hiding spot in mind, aware of her lover’s penchant for reading her mind (no matter how many times she told him not to) and how that technically wasn’t a violation of their rules. Instead she’d be his antithesis right now: chaos.

Her shoes were too loud and slowed her down so she ditched them, the marble warm beneath her bare soles. She thought of him waiting in that study, a panther coiled and eager to prowl; a silhouette in the dark, clever eyes glowing as he counted down the seconds. Her stomach tightened. Anticipation set her teeth on edge. She knew the House of Hope well, but couldn’t match the knowledge of the man who’d designed it. The likelihood of her winning was low, but she’d overcome such dire odds before – and in truth, she didn’t really want to win.

Tav hadn’t been counting, was unsure how long she had left before he began the hunt, but she got as far from Raphael’s study as she could manage, finding a nook behind one of his huge, garish statues to tuck herself into. She knew better than to hunker down. She wouldn’t be staying in one spot. She crouched, sat on her haunches, and waited.

And waited.

And waited.

At first, the wait was fun. She was a little breathless, giddy, tense. Every small sound startled her. She expected it to be him, yet he never appeared. She didn’t even hear the distant jingle of his stupid boots, a sign she should move. As time dragged on, Tav’s calves aching, she began to wonder: had she beaten him? Surely not. Maybe he’d juked her, pretended to indulge in her silly game and then left her to squat in a corner like an idiot. That sounded like something he’d do. She frowned, chewing the inside of her cheek, considering her options. She couldn’t tell if twenty minutes had passed.

A cold shiver went up her spine. The tiny hairs on her arms and the back of her neck rose. Tav stiffened, suddenly aware she wasn’t alone. Slowly she turned her head to peer over her shoulder and there he was, perched like a gargoyle in the space behind her, so close she’d touch him if she leaned back just a few inches. His manic grin was all teeth. All fangs. Black and yellow eyes glittered with satisfaction. How long had he been there?

“Meow.”

“Shit!” Tav shrieked. She tumbled onto her ass in shock. The devil cackled, rich and mean. Tav didn’t think; forced herself up on her feet and fled.

“That’s it, little mouse,” Raphael crowed, “run run run, as fast as you can…”

He’d found a way to trigger her fight or flight instinct. Of course he had. Tav’s blood roared in her ears, her heart smashing against her ribs. The devil was in hot pursuit now, his stride quick and powerful, footsteps thumping on the stone.

“Your fear smells delicious, my pet,” he called out. “I can’t wait to taste it.”

Doors closed on their own in front of her, corridors sealed off with magic barriers. The devil was herding her, Tav realised, back to his study where all this began. Where there was nowhere else to run. She came to an abrupt stop, heaving for air. She turned, arousal, exhilaration and dread warring in her mind. Her cunt was wet, nipples hard, knees shaking. This was exactly what she wanted. Her devil loomed in the doorway, savouring his prey. His feast. That hypnotic waving of his tail returned. It meant something in devil body language, Tav knew, but her thoughts were too scattered to recall.

“I guess you win, huh,” she managed. Swallowed a lump in her throat. Raphael didn’t answer immediately; she couldn’t break his intense gaze, couldn’t escape, couldn’t completely place the way he was looking at her. Tav watched him scent the air, realised he was scenting her, the smell of her sex, her excitement. He released a rumble of approval, his cock already hard and tenting his trousers.

“Yes,” he finally said, his voice deep and thick. “And what a delightful little prize I’ve won indeed…”

He approached her with the finesse of a stalking predator, burning with sexual intent.

“Down comes the claw, right?” Tav breathed. The devil smirked. With that claw he effortlessly opened her blouse, a single swipe scattering buttons all over the ground. She gasped. Raphael leered at her breasts, her flush chubby nipples, before he pushed her blouse over her shoulder so he could lick the sweat from her pulse point. Without ceremony he yanked her trousers and her smalls down to her ankles, growling when he felt her slickness and heat on his fingers. Tav sighed when he touched her pussy, but it didn’t last. She was his prize and he would do as he wanted with her.

Raphael splayed her out on his desk, spreading her thighs apart to fit his bulk between them, forcing her to free her feet from her trousers – naked from the waist down while he remained fully dressed. He kissed her deeply, hard, forked tongue licking behind her teeth. One of his hands entwined with hers, their fingers linked, his other unbuckled his belt enough to free his erection. He didn't tease, just guided his cock – nudged her sloppy clit with his leaking glans – and pushed into her. They groaned in unison when he bottomed out. She felt so full. He stayed still for a moment, savouring the hot grip of her cunt. His tail kept swinging to and fro. Tav wrapped her legs around his waist, crossed her ankles at the small of his back. The new angle slid him in deeper, the fat head of his cock nudging the entrance of her cervix.

“So wet,” the devil crooned, “so warm, so tight…”

Then he began to move. Lazy, languid thrusts, if they could be called such when all he did was flex his hips to drag his fat cock in and out the way he liked. Every slick sound of his dick working inside her harmonised with her soft gasps and his rhythmic grunts. He pinned her free hand to the desk, linked those fingers too. Pressed himself flat against her, kissing and biting her damp mouth as they fucked, slow and indulgent. There was something so intimate about it. They'd never had sex this way before. He engulfed her completely. Tav wished they were naked so their skins could touch, the closest they could truly be; the closest she would ever allow him to her soul. Fleshy ridges and soft barbs on his dick snagged and rubbed in every right place. Her nerves were ablaze. He was barely doing anything – this was obviously for his pleasure, not hers – and yet she mewled and gasped into his mouth like a wanton whore each time he re-sheathed himself. She’d already been so wired from their game, and now… She couldn't catch her breath. A first in their relationship, Tav climaxed before Raphael did. Not with a bang, but a scorching whisper; humid and electric, pulsing through her veins, settling in her guts. Her moan was broken, quiet. Her devil swallowed it all.

“Yes,” he hissed, greedy, delighted, “give it to me…”

Her cunt squeezed and contracted, milking his cock for something he was almost ready to offer. Tav trembled, grasping his hands so tightly it would be bone-crushing for a normal man. Raphael seemed to relish it instead, snarling softly, kissing her again and again, sticky lingering brushes of their mouths. He sucked on her tongue, bit it, and she whimpered.

“Such a good girl. Such a sweet little mouse. So pliant. Ripe for the taking. For me to take.” The more he babbled, the closer to orgasm he was. The roll of his hips sped up, hard enough to bounce her breasts if the broad expanse of his chest had given them space. He chased his end almost mindlessly. “You played well, my treasure, but, ah, I always win…mmmm…”

The devil pressed his forehead to hers when he came. Tav got lost in the inky abyss of his eyes, framed by his spreading wings. He stared into her soul, his expression twisted in possessive lust, as he pumped her womb full with spurts of hot cum. You are mine, he declared with every movement, every single thing he did. You are mine. He was beautiful and terrible. She was his. He didn’t pull out, choosing to keep them sealed together, cock-in-cunt, as he softened. He rested in her arms, nuzzled her neck – mindful of his horns. His panting eventually melted into strange raspy purrs, and as she freed their hands to stroke his hair, Tav realized with gentle dawning horror that she loved him.

[magicrainbowkitties]

Hyperfixations are insane bro.

Anyways here's my "MK1 Roster By How Good Of A Hugger They Are" tier list

Not Pictured:

Shang Tsung: A

Reiko: B

Explanations under the cut if you want them.

S tier:

Smoke/Tomas: Great arm strength, super sweet and cute in his intro dialogues, definitely goes for head pats. Also big ups for the smokey smell.

Scorpion/Kuai Liang: Arm strength, sensitive and protective in his dialogues, and very warmb. Perfection.

Johnny Cage: You cannot tell me this version of the guy is not absolutely INSANE at hugs. Arms, emotional sensitivity, words of affirmation if you need them, and LOVES giving them. CageCon attendees attest he hugs like a giant teddy bear.

Sindel: She doesn't give them often, but when she does it's the absolute Best. Mom hugs are best hugs, you can fight me on that. But her big up is the prehensile hair. Mom hug + more hug from hair? FUCK YES.

Reptile/Syzoth: I mean this for both reptilian and human form btw. Because in one case, gigantic croco-man being extra careful to not to nick you on claws and scales, and on the other, nuzzles and contact. BOTH have the ups of strength, dad hugs (his son may be dead but I will attest that no matter the status of the child, the ability to give dad hugs remains with the father in question) are also best hugs, and a tail. Also being cold-blooded he'll probably try to seek warmth from the person he's hugging. So more physical contact. Which is Amazing.

A Tier:

Raiden: Very sweet and kind, just BARELY didn't make S tier. Only because the lightning probably means he's got static everywhere and even if his amulet is turned off, he's still gonna accidentally shock you. Which for some people is negligible, but this is my list. Still great at hugs, but with a fatal flaw.

Liu Kang: Also a very near-miss for S tier. He's got a lot of the same ups as Kuai Liang, except he's a good deal less sensitive than the latter dialogue wise, and he strikes me as the kinda guy who feels a little awkward hugging people. Not bad in the slightest, but he prefers other methods of affection.

Kenshi: He's not a very physically affectionate person, before or after blindness, and probably has a few issues recognizing when it's necessary. However, when he does give hugs, (more likely that he's the one being given the hug), he's very sweet about it. Probably goes on for a while longer than originally intended, very good for touch starvation. Just don't expect it very often.

Kung Lao: Would be an S if he TOOK OFF THE FUCKING HAT. Look man, I'm tryna get physical affection, and you're real nice and sweet when you wanna be, but I am NOT tryna get decapitated by that fuckin table saw super-glued to your head! Good arms, tho.

Shao: Yeah this one surprised me too. But, big guy, leans down, and DEFINITELY a fan of head pats. But he's a near miss for B because of the fact that 1, definitely not a hugger, and 2, he's an asshole. He probably gives side hugs if absolutely necessary. Definitely hugged Reiko when he was a kid, tho.

Shang Tsung: OK HEAR ME OUT. Absolute BOTTOM of A tier, but DAMMIT that fucker is a convincing guy. He's spent years and years hawking fake cures and things, you think he doesn't know how to use physical means to make his sales pitch more convincing? He's actually very, very good at hugs and making people feel better about themselves, and that's part of what makes him so damn dangerous.

B Tier:

Kitana: People are gonna hate me for not putting her higher, huh? Well I speak naught but the truth. Bc my girl is NOT a hugger for anybody except her family. Just not really her thing. She prefers a handshake and good conversation from her friends and allies. She gives decent hugs when called for, and is a good person to hug in crisis, but she'd rather be there either in a group hug or on the side talking someone through it while one of the S or As handle the Actual Hugging Part.

Tanya: Same kinda deal as Kitana, but mostly for maintaining professionalism as an Umgadi. She's very sweet and understanding, but prefers to pat shoulders and give affection through presence unless you're very, VERY close to her (cough Mileena)

Ermac: Total wild card. Countless souls within the body mean countless possibilities for hug affinity or quality. So direct middle of B tier, just to be safe. Based on story mode, however, Jerrod is a solid S.

Ashrah: Again, not much of a hugger, but gives decent ones when necessary. Isn't used to physical affection in the slightest, but overtime may graduate to an A as she comes to understand touch as something that doesn't have to hurt.

Takeda: I... Really don't have an explanation for this one. I just. Very mid vibes.

Reiko: Affection is for weak losers, man up and get over it, why don't you? What do you mean touch doesn't have to be hostile, that's crazy talk, leave him alone. Nevermind the fact that he will probably break down sobbing if he gets a real hug he can't push away, and will probably come just this side of crushing the hugger's ribs in return, what? Didn't happen, if you speak of this, you lose your jaw. Why are you bringing the General into this?

C Tier:

Rain: Not a hugger, not good at it, doesn't want to be. Also VERY sweaty. Or maybe that's just his water magic. Either way not good. The only thing keeping him out of D tier is he's got a decent amount of strength to it.

Havik: Will absolutely detach his entire torso in the middle of a hug so the other person freaks the fuck out. He thinks this is funny. It's not.

Peacemaker: Cop mentality and insensitive. The ONLY reason he's not in D is because I am told John Cena is amazing at hugs, so he has some trickle-down skill from there.

Mileena: Was a solid A before getting Tarkat. Very sweet and physically affectionate, and one of the things she mourns the most from before the infection. She especially wishes she could hug Tanya and Kitana more often, but they're also the last people in the world she wants to get sick.

D Tier:

Sub-Zero/Bi-Han: Ew cold hands. Also believes that physical affection is a weakness and refuses to do it. How in the hell is he related to Kuai Liang???

Li Mei: Is a fucking cop. As a rule, cops are bad at hugs.

Quan Chi: Why would you ever want a hug from this fucker? Unless you're Shang Tsung. And even then it's probably not great just because he doesn't get the point.

Baraka: NOPE. Even if you don't care about Tarkat, he does, and will refuse hugs of any kind ever. Even if it wasn't contagious, he's very spiky and awkward with it. Ask Syzoth.

Omni-Man: Just as likely to crush your ribcage as to awkwardly pat the back, more either way depending. Best avoid this fashy fuck all together.

Geras: He is very sweet and a good emotional rock. But a hugger he is not. He refuses hugs with a similar fervency to Baraka, but without the urgency ofc. He hates hugs, and asks that you please respect his boundaries. Also he'd get sand all over your clothes.

Homelander: Do I even need to explain.

[laur-rants]

HI GUYS I'M RUNNING A PRINT SALE!!

I'm very excited about it because it will be my very first print sale ever. But a little bit of background before I go into that because I feel like it's warranted here on Tumblr. So over on bluesky, I did a December challenge where every day in December, I drew a designated prehistoric animal, most of which were dinosaurs, but not all of them. It was the first challenge of it's kind I've ever done, and I was incredibly proud of myself for finishing it along with all of the work and the holidays too. For once, I finished a 31-day art challenge. And then I didn't post it here on Tumblr. OOPS. Don't worry, I plan on bringing them all over here in March (the next month of 31 days), but if you'd like to see them all early, they are on my website in my print section. And all of them are currently available for purchase, with the lovely sale pitch of: Free Shipping on orders over $50. And yes, that works for ALL of my prints, the dinosaur ones are just featured at the moment. I'm really excited to see how it goes!

Unfortunately, I can only fulfill in the US, mostly because the prices of shipping overseas are ridiculous, but also because EU currently set new laws on small businesses and products coming into the country. So until that is sorted, only the US shipping for now. I hope you can understand.

And yeah, that's about it. Print Sale on my website! I still get a ton of support from my followers here and just from this site in general so it felt remiss to not advertise this sale here too. The prints are not super expensive (if anything the shipping might be more so the savings are good) and are of incredible quality, I check each one before they are sent out and you get a nice little personal drawing from yours truly :) Thank you in advance and I'll talk to you all soon <3

[prince-liest]

In the future, once the hotel gets big and garners more interest, I could imagine the Vees making "knock-off" redemption hotels. "Trust us! With your salvation." Cue increasing distrust in the concept

Oh my god, I love this. I actually, genuinely hope that this happens in canon in later seasons because it just seems to be so incredibly in-line with the Vees' MO to literally capitalize on the newest trend to sell people their own salvation. Also super thematic with Vox's possible original/old backstory of having been a televangelist!

I actually think that the problem this would most likely initially cause is less people distrusting the concept, and more the Vees being able to sell it better and thus stealing business from the hotel even though who knows if they have any idea how to actually redeem people. The process apparently involves death, after all. Maybe they're just knocking people off permanently! It's not like there's any way to tell - fuck, maybe they make up a "contact" up in heaven and mock up fake "post-redemption" video proof showing that their concept works as part of the sales pitch.

The thing about the Vees is that even though we know they're deeply untrustworthy, the show for the most part seems to show us that they're extremely successful in their business and in getting people to buy what they're selling. People are absolutely clamoring to get one of VoxTek's new spy drones in Vox's intro, for example. I genuinely think it seems like an extremely on-point plot point to have the Vees end up in direct competition for selling redemption, especially when they have many more resources in the form of manpower and advertising to make their own operation look glamorous and appealing compared to the Hazbin Hotel (possibly even post-renovation).

And only after they become massively successful and earn a ridiculous amount of money off of the concept would the whole thing collapse. Charlie wouldn't have real incentive to stop them at first, would she? She tends to give people the benefit of the doubt. If they're genuinely redeeming people, well - it would make her a bad person to get in the way of that, no matter how much Alastor seethes about Vox stepping in on his turf, or how vaguely uncomfortable Angel Dust is with the concept. But once the whole secret gets blown wide open and Charlie & Co save the day... if it comes out that VoxTek has been murdering people rather than saving them... even though Charlie is the one who put a stop to it all...

Then, yes. If people can't trust VoxTek ("Trust us!") with their redemption, then why in the world would they trust Charlie's slapdash operation?

[kiefbowl]

i made a string of really dumb financial decisions and now im in debt that might take me years to pay off, do you have any words of wisdom for me queen. like that feels bad. how do i even save up. imagine flushing a pile of money down the toilet thats what this debt it

I know how that feels, believe me. A lot of people do. I'm feeling the pain of my 9 month school loans, and credit cards I had already paid off back "on" again (one in particular is pretty high...whooooops).

Don't lose your cool, I have a couple of flexible suggestions that you take, use, and modify to your specifics:

Tithe yourself - if your job does direct deposit (which most do!), you can direct deposit your money into multiple accounts. Get it set up so your paycheck goes 90% into your checking account, 10% into your savings account so that you're not even thinking about it. You might feel the squeeze for a little bit but you'll acclimate to that "missing" 10% sooner than you think.

Ask for a raise - if you're working, ask for a raise. If you're new, or maybe not that "great", or they're penny-pinchers, or you're just nervous to ask, don't even worry about it. Ask for 3% - this is low, and most jobs will give it to you just for the convenience of getting you to stop bothering them about it (if they can't afford 3%, run run run). For context, if you make $10 an hour, a 3% raise only gives you $12.00 more each week. It's really not much, but not nothing! If you're NOT worried about asking a raise, go all in! Ask for 10%, maybe even 15%. Flex some negotiation skills. Maybe you'll walkaway with 7%, but every penny counts.

Get yourself on auto payments [at the smallest amounts you can] - if you've got credit cards, log in right now and get yourself on auto payments for the smallest amount. If you've got student loans, do the same thing. If you've got utility bills, get them on auto pay. These things take 3 minutes to set up, and there are phone numbers to call if you can't figure it out. These companies WANT you to do this, they will help you get it done.

Work off the smallest amount you owe first [aggressively] - Let's say you have a $60 parking ticket, a credit card you owe $400 on, and three student loans that are currently at $6,000 & $7,000 & $10,000. Forget the student loans right now, you've got them on autopay for the smallest amount you can get away with. First, pay off that $60 parking ticket with your next pay check before it becomes a $200 ticket and a court appearance. Now you can focus on the paying off the $400 aggressively. Your minimum payments will still go off, but every time you get a paycheck, long on and pay an additional amount to the credit card (something you can manage and will also feel good to your brain - $50 feels good when you're thinking of your debit in hundreds for example). Once you've got that paid off, now you can aggressively pay off your $6,000. Don't worry about the other two. Just focus on the smallest amount you owe. Each paycheck, payoff a chunk of your smallest debt. It'll get exciting after awhile, like yes I get paid I can make that credit card even smaller. Gamify it, whatever.

Stop worrying about how long it will all take - Only worry about the smallest amount of debt you owe and how (reasonably) fast you can get that paid off. That $400 credit card, if you can spare $100 each pay check - that's only 4 paychecks. That's not too long, right? That's the way to think of time and debt: how much can you spare each paycheck to pay off your lowest debt.

Ask for help - do not punish yourself by lying to your parents and friends. Tell your friends you can't do fancy dinners because you are paying off debt and can't afford it. Real friends will bring over a pizza to hang with you. Your parents might be willing to send you a check without you asking for it. Don't feel guilty about monetary gifts, just take it. Go to a bank and talk about their consolidation options. Bring a third party so you aren't dazzled by sales pitches. Consolidation loans aren't objectively good or bad, they can be a life saver if they have the right terms that work for you. Don't think it's over your head! Ask as many questions until you understand all your options.

Buy smart, stop suffering - this really should be like 4 different bullet points, but I'm going to be as concise as possible: you'll never get out of debt if you spend your money without purpose, and you'll never get out under the yoke of anxiety that you fucked up if you just squirrel your money away in fear. A lot of people will give you advice that you need to put yourself on a tight, punishing budget. Maybe, but I think those are doomed to fail for most people. And now you feel twice as bad. Don't do that to yourself. Learning the value of $10 is important. So it learning the value of $100, or $1,000. And the best way to learn is to practice buying and using your money - there's a cheap $1,000 and an expensive $10, and you have to learn how much value you are getting out of these amounts for these purchases. If you punish yourself all week, and then allow yourself a "little treat" on Sunday - that doesn't feel worthwhile to me. Those little treats will grow every day. Soon you're stopping at Starbucks every day for "just $10" and your Sunday treat has become a weekly blow out brunch with friends and then week to week you're scrounging to eat Top Ramen and lamenting your dreams are dying. Instead, save money by spending money on things worthwhile that make you budget for them. Go sign up for those yoga classes you want, go sign up for those guitar lessons you want, go sign up for those art lessons you want, whatever it is. Whatever brings value to your life. Your $70 a week yoga membership can now be valued against your $70 week at Starbucks, and as your pockets pinch one hopes you'll choose the yoga over the Starbucks because one hopes that the yoga is serving you better. Or maybe yoga is ass and you want to spend it on Starbucks, at least now you know. Though I recommend your local coffee shop, as Starbucks is a union busting piece of shit corporation :)

[peoplecallmelucifer]

"Is the human dancing?"

"Doesn't look like a dance to me. Maybe a ritual?"

"Why don't we just ask"

"And potentially disturbe a ritual? You know wjat happened to Zaati when he decided to not be culturally sensitive"

"Yeah yeah, he got a spear thrown an inch of his face by a very angry Attra matriarch..... and now they are married."

" I'm just saying Dessa, If you wanna talk to him, stay close to cover"

Vakk was an asahole, But Dessa knew he had a point. So she aproached the sparing mat slowly while watching thw human performe his routine.

"Uum, excuse me" They said

" Huh?" The human said with a slightly startled reaction" OH! m i hogging the mat? Sorry. I'll be done in a minute or 2 if that's ok"

"No, that's allright. I just wanted to ask you as to what this ritual is" now relaxed Dessa said.

"Ritu- OH! yes this does look pretty ritualistic I guess. Mind I finish though?

" Oh no, not at all!"

The human just smiled and nodded, proceeding with his ritual. While Dessa kept watching.

And shortly after the human knelt slowly, put his forehead to the mat, slowly rose while obviously avoiding touching the amt with his hands, took a step backwards and boues the final time.

"Wooh!" He said, jumping in place. Conpletely shattering the calm demeenor he exuded not 10 second ago.

"Now, Propper introductions! I'm Teddy, I'm a translator and linguist with UN diplomatic core" the human said stretching his arm. A gesture of good will found in many species

"Dessa, amature xenoculturologist and medical officer on board this station" Dessa replied

"That explains your interest in my, ritul" Teddy added with a smile

"Well, yes. I find different beliefs and rituals other species performe intriguing. If you would be willing to explain I'd be greatfull." Dessa said trxing to be as cordial as her curiosity would allowe

"Please, talk more casually. I hear enough diplomatic talk a work as it is. And I'd be glad to explain." Teddy said

" What you saw was called Nage-no-kata it's a stric performance form made of 15 techniques of Judo. And Judo is a martial art I train"

Dessa looked confused " Military skill? Is my translator malfunctioning?"

"Yeah the translation pack still isn't up to speed with coloquialism and cultural elements. That's another reasons I preffere casual conversations lets me know what I'll need to work on in the future"

"Ok so. What would the proper translation be?"

"Well.." Teddy paused "either fighting sport or self defence skill"

"... so the translator wasn't wrong..."

"Technically not"

"And you humans .... made military grade combat into a sport" Dessa stated withoit a hint of wmotion

"Well no, the sport was develloped before" Teddy retorted

"Well... I don't know if that makes me feel more or less uneasy"

"Look it sounds bad if you phrase it like that but Judo has among the lowest rate of serious injury qmong human sports and among the highest percentage of highly educated people in its ranks"

"That ... sounds like a salesman pitch"

"Did it help calm you down though?"

"I ... guess? I stil don't understand why a linguist would need combat training"

"I actually started practicing as a teenager so I wasn't even a linguist-"

" you teach combat to kids?! And I tought Attra were militaristic" Dessa interrupted

"What I was gon a say is that Judo is ot just fighting it's a philosophy." Teddy retorted, seemingly finding this ordeal amusing

"Another sales pitch?" Dessa asked.

"Yup."

" I stand guard .... that's a coloquialism for I'm listening for my people"

"Noted" Teddy said before co ti uing his explenation

"As I said. JUDO is a philosophy. It's based of using the oponenta strenght against him. If pushed, you pull back, if pulled, you push. But it's also built upon respect. Towards the referees, towards your coach, towards your oponemt and even the mat you stand on during the match"

"That woukd be all thw bowing". Dessa persumed

"Correct!" Teddy said happily " you see, I used to be a troublemaket as a kid and gor cought shoplifting. The judge saw I was just a lost kid so he offered me a deal. I can get a record which would make getting a job much harder, or I can join his friends program that aimed to reform troublemakers" Teddy said with a melancolic look

"Ok so ... you were a criminal?" Desaa asked

"Basically, yeah"

"And what stopped you continuing doing crime is ...combat training"

"I guess."

"Oh we are talking about this more later over drinks!" Dessa said grinning from ear to ear

"Ok, but you're buying" Teddy added

[daydreaming-in-hyrule]

𝗧𝗛𝗘 𝗘𝗦𝗖𝗢𝗥𝗧 𝗢𝗙 𝗟𝗔𝗗𝗬 𝗟𝗜𝗚𝗛𝗧𝗡𝗜𝗡𝗚 (prologue)

synopsis: tales of old will always regale the listener with praises and recognition of the feats of esteemed gerudo champion urbosa. but time wears thin on the stories of pivotal companions, and most of them will ultimately leave out one vai, arguably just as important — a warrior, an advisor, a personal guard. most of all… a friend, and yet so much more; the chief’s light in the approaching darkness.

pairing: urbosa x f!gerudo!reader [reader is her personal guard & advisor]

word count: 544

warnings: use of Y/N, urbosa’s mother’s name is azrah, and reader’s mom’s name is isir. also a little bit of my idea of how urbosa’s lightning abilities were first discovered :)

a/n: not yet onto the main storyline! originally I was gonna just dive right in and start with the cutscene of her entrance in age of calamity, but I thought it’d fit together better if there’s a prologue and a little bit of introduction first. and I adore the idea of urbosa’s hair just sticking up all the time as a child bc she hasn’t learnt to fully control her lightning, I think it’d be so cute 💕

anyways, enjoy! <3

After a whole week of steadily rising temperatures that made even the desert-adapted citizens of Gerudo Town suffer, the scorching sun seemed to have taken mercy on the town. Children played in the streets, and vendors’ loud sales pitches rang through the air.

The Gerudo chieftain stood underneath the minimal shade of a palm tree, her personal guard standing to attention beside her. Their eyes followed the movements of two children, playing together with loud giggles and shouts that could probably be heard even from across town.

“They grow up so fast, don’t they? It feels like only yesterday when they drew their first breaths.” The chief’s tone carried a hint of nostalgia, as if memories from her own childhood were stealing their way into her thoughts.

“It truly does, my lady.”

“I am sure it’ll be no time at all till they’re grown… and then my daughter will take the throne.” The chief paused, shifting her gaze to her daughter’s playmate. “And what of your little one, Isir? You plan on beginning her training when she is of age, and inducting her into the guard?”

“Yes, Lady Azrah. I come from a long line of chiefly guards; it is only natural that I give her the training she needs to prepare her, should she be chosen as the next chief’s personal escort.”

A flash of yellow light caught Azrah’s eye and she looked at the children in surprise. “Isir… did you see that light? What was—”

The guard turned to the girls and alarm flared in her eyes. “Hey! Y/N! Put that down!”

Isir rushed forward to gently pull the small dagger out of her daughter’s hands, the blade glinting in the sunlight as she took it away from the children. Her child pouted, and Azrah’s daughter gave a little whine of protest.

“But Isir! We were playing Guards and Thieves!”

“Urbosa, you can do that without the knife,” Azrah crouched to place her hand on the little vai’s shoulder, unable to stop a smile from forming as she brushed a lock of unruly red hair from her daughter’s forehead. “Now, run along. I’m sure Hefza will give you a voltfruit — but only if you ask nicely.”

Urbosa’s eyes lit up again and she grinned, grabbing Y/N’s hand and turning to rush off into the streets to find the vendor. Azrah watched the children run off, a small frown creasing the space between her eyebrows. She could’ve sworn that she saw… something crackling, wreathing around Urbosa’s fingers. Something that charged the air around the girl and put a metallic taste in Azrah’s mouth. Perhaps there was a reason Urbosa’s hair refused to lay flat for more than five minutes at a time.

The Sage’s gift… could it be? But that would mean—

“My chief, with all due respect, I think those two will drive poor Hefza up the wall. As it is, she’s one of the few vendors who humour them in their little games.”

Azrah laughed at Isir’s wry words, turning to her guard. “We’ll pull them out if — no, when — she tires of being the Thief in their game. Until then… let them play, Isir. Let them be children. These carefree times will desert them sooner than you think.”

divider credits: @/saradika-graphics

[stizzysupremacy]

okay. Okay so. This is ridiculous but. The idea won’t get out of my brain ever since I started rewatching an old sitcom:

Izzy Hands as The Nanny

no no hear me out.

Izzy works in his bf Ed’s tailor shop (vs a bridal shop cuz even in an au I can’t stretch to see Izzy doing anything bridal for a living) until Ed wants to give Jack Rackham Izzy’s job and oh also he wants to start dating Jack too. So Izzy is out of a job and a relationship that’s been in the pre-engagement state for years. Izzy gets a part time job selling fine chef’s knives door-to-door (instead of makeup. Because it’s a good excuse to slip Steak Knife into the story and also because my bestie used to sell knives and I love him)

Izzy happens to show up at the Bonnet mansion household around the time they were expecting their newest nanny to come for an interview. Izzy thinks he is being invited in to give his sales pitch. In classic sitcom misunderstanding it takes a while for Stede to realize that Short Dark and Handsome here is not actually a manny with a resting rage face.

But by then Izzy has had a chance to interact with Stede’s kids and his household staff. Stede has fondness for anyone who is kind to his kids and has a secret awe for anyone who seems to get along with less awkwardness than he himself does. Izzy just talks to the kids like they are adults because he doesn’t know how else to deal with tiny people except to treat them like big people. Alma appreciates it.

The rest of the household (Buttons as the butler? Lucius as a PA? Roach as chef, Jim as driver, etc you get the idea) are surprisingly on board with hiring the guy who came to the door with a briefcase full of knives to provide daily childcare. He’s got no experience or qualifications but Izzy clearly does not take shit from anyone and won’t get scared off in under two months like the last nanny.

and look, the pay is really good. Even if Mr Bonnet is supremely annoying, he pays well and the kids seem fine, old enough to entertain themselves most of the time and not be very interested in interacting with some greying old man. He can get them to school and home from school, and deal with the occasional snotty cold or scraped knee for such a huge salary, with room and board on top! plus staying in the rich part of town cuts down on the chances of running into Ed and/or Jack.

So Izzy moves into the mansion and chases the Bonnet children around for a living. (Izzy quickly learns that the kids are still young enough to love playing pirates, something Stede started with them but has been too busy to do. Izzy, wearing an eye patch and brandishing a plastic sword, taunts Stede into joining their play by challenging him to duel (yes Stede smacks his ass with his sword))

obvious stede would never get full custody lol so there’s plenty of time when the kids are with their mother and Stede’s only company in the big empty house is Izzy Hands 😮😀