#also yes i put the world map in the background what else would you put in the background when ur drawin a militaristic fucker

[decadennce]

I want to crack his skull open with a sledgehammer

[snippychicke]

Legend of the Selkie and the Pirate

Am I a dumbass for starting another story? Yes. Do I care? No.

This will be a bit like Cats & Ships where we switch POV, but also inspired by prompts I found in an old document.

Fandom: One Piece (LA mainly)

Rating: Teen/mature (we have non-graphic nudity stated)

Part one of ?

Pairing: Buggy/Selkie!Reader

Warnings: Violence, hinted attempts at sexual assult by background characters. Followed by... more violence.

The seal I personally imagine is the leopard seal, but I try to be nondescriptive so you can have your own ideas.

Summary: Even in a world of monsters, devil fruits, pirates, and fishmen, selkies were considered a myth. Especially in the East Blue where the waters were too warm for seals to live anyways.

Except that myths were always seeded with truths, and stories always had a habit of coming to life.

Alternate Summary: You thought it would be easy to follow the stars home to the Arctic when you ended up far too south. Unfortunately, you were wrong.

Fortunately, another kind of star kept pulling you in-- the Flashy Fool: Buggy the Clown.

Unfortunately, this also leads you to question where 'home' really is.

(Meanwhile, Buggy is likewise conflicted. He handles it poorly.)

Ao3 | masterpost

Prompt:  Dreams/Nightmares

For Buggy, he swore it was a dream the first time he met you. It was some nameless town whose populace proved less than thrilled by their not so free entertainment. Even though his freaks had put on an extremely flashy show, the townspeople had barely clapped. 

 Watching the waves lap at the rocky beach under the full moon, dreaming of the treasure lost beneath (that he would never be able to reach) was still one of his favorite ways to unwind after a long day. Even if the sea hated him, he was still in love with it.

Yet that night something else broke the waves other than rocks or a boat. 

A seal. 

That instantly caught his attention. He hadn't seen a seal this far in the East Blue, and only had vague recollections of seeing them when serving with Gol D. Rodgers’ crew in the colder waters of the poles. 

Yet before he could ponder that oddity for long, things became weirder as the seal shifted, its skin becoming nothing more than a cloak over a woman's shoulders. 

A very curvy, naked, woman. 

His eyes widened in surprise as she looked up at the stars, a frown on her face and apparently unaware that she had company on the small beach.

Well, he had to fix that, didn't he?

~*~

For you, that night was a living nightmare. 

You gazed up at the stars, comparing them to the map you had (somewhat) memorized of the stars back home. 

You… were lost. You were very lost. 

"Mother Sea," you swore, rubbing your face as you tried to think. If the North Star was there, then you were… to the southwest? Or southeast? 

Well, too south either way. 

(What if that wasn’t even the north star?)

"And what do we have here?"

You froze at the unfamiliar voice, pulling your seal-skin closer as you turned. You had been warned about land-kind (humans and fishmen both) stealing one's furs right off one's back and using it as blackmail for all sorts of things. 

This one was human, you decided, judging by the tall thin form walking out of the shadows. (How did they survive without any meat on their bones to keep them warm?) Though you hadn't seen a human with a bright red nose like that… or strange markings on their face… 

Then again, you hadn't seen many humans this close either. Usually it was as a seal, and they were washed out by the bright light of the sun. 

You bared your teeth at him in a snarl as he walked closer, causing you to inch closer to the sea. "Back, human! Or I'll bite your hand off." 

Oddly, the human smiled, apparently amused by your words. With a flourish, he snapped his wrist and the rest of the hand came flying towards you, making you scramble backwards with a startled yelp. 

"Already off, sweetheart," he laughed as he booped your nose. "So let's try again. Who, and what, are you?"  

You didn't think, not when waves washed over your feet beckoning you home. (To safety, at least. These waters were too warm to be home.) You turned and melded back with your furs, ignoring the sharp yell behind you as you splashed into the waters. 

Prompt: Avarice 

Buggy was a greedy man, he could fully admit to that. Greedy for wealth, fame, power. Just like every other pirate, really. 

"You collect freaks, right?" The man pleaded as Ritchie dropped him at the pirate captain's feet. "I-I have a freak for you!" 

Despite the smile on his face, Buggy felt something twist unpleasantly in his stomach (or maybe something hadn't connected just right?). "You want to trade another's life for your own?"

His freaks weren't slaves. Sure, he was their captain and they obeyed them, but it was voluntary… mostly. Usually. 

They could leave any time was the point. 

And implying anything else already had condemned the man’s life. But then he led him back to the small merchant ship and pulled the so-called fream from the storage space from the hull of the tiny ship.

Chains bound your wrists, your mouth gagged with a strip of fabric. Dressed in nothing but a literal sackcloth. 

But Buggy was enticed by those dark wide eyes. So full of rage. It took a moment, but the clown-pirate recognized you from that moonlit cove just a few nights before. The mottled skin, oddly-sharp teeth. Those squishable curves. 

"--A real life selkie,” the merchant continued. “Her coat’s on another ship, just to make sure she didn't grab it. But--" 

His words were cut off as Buggy grabbed his throat despite the space between them. "I accept,” Buggy grinned as he looked at the merchant. “Her life for yours. Except she gets to keep hers. You don't. Not unless you can swim."

Buggy's hand carried him a few yards over the open ocean before dropping him, causing the pirate crew to laugh as the man struggled in the water. Meanwhile, the clown-pirate looked back at the woman, easily seeing the tell-tale signs of fear despite the attempts to cover it with anger. 

Selkie?  At first he wanted to scoff: those things were a myth. He remembered listening to the other pirates of his youth tell stories of beings that lived in towards the poles and looked like seals, but could shed their skin and become human. 

Which is exactly what he had seen that night. And after all, the Chop-Chop Fruit was supposedly a myth too.

He stepped closer, carefully studying the odd mottling of your skin, your just-a-bit-too-wide eyes, and the sharp teeth trying to gnaw through your binding. 

"If you bite, I get to bite back," he jested with a grin before undoing the gag, wondering if you even remembered him from the beach.

 He half expected you to snap or spit considering the expression on your face, but you did neither as you adjusted to no longer having the cloth in your mouth. "Water?" You asked after a moment, your voice sounding like someone who had screamed themself hoarse. "Please?" 

His grin softened slightly, becoming just slightly less manic. “Well, since you used the magic word.” 

Prompt: Difference 

Not having your furs made you… jumpy. It was like a piece of you was missing, which did not make your odd situation any better. You weren't one that typically socialized with those of the land. So being stuck on a ship with a motley pirate crew was certainly an… experience. 

Not a bad one per say, you actually were enjoying learning so much about their culture as you did small tasks about the ship to help out (your title was apparently chore-girl, or so it seemed). Most of the pirates were friendly enough, either asking questions or just ignoring you. 

A few you had to show that you were not as defenseless as you looked when they cornered you looking for 'special favors,' having heard ridiculous rumors about your kind. 

That, and apparently some human saw a naked person and presumed they were interested in sexual intercourse. 

Cabaji had been kind enough to provide you with more 'appropriate clothes' after that. Leading you away while their Captain reminded the idiots of their manners. (Granted, the fact the hand you had bit off was not going to return was probably punishment enough.)

It was easy to tell their captain, Buggy, was… different. For one, he could detach his body parts and send them flying as if a puppet on a string. (Devil fruit, some old memory in your mind spoke. Forsaken by mother sea and cursed by the Sea Devil himself. But you pushed such childish stories away.) 

But just the way he acted. Talked. It was different and had caught your attention in more ways than one. He may have been as thin as a piece of kelp, but he proved to be far stronger than he appeared. 

(Okay, you would admit it. He was handsome and charming. For a human.) 

You tried to convince yourself that all you cared about was the agreement you had reached after they had rescued you from the merchant ship: "We get your fur back, you do a little diving for us for some sunken treasure. It's a win-win." 

But even if you were able to find you fur like they promised, you were still so very lost. And unlike the others, the crew was welcoming. Buggy was welcoming. 

Not like the men who had caught you unaware while you had been trying to cool down from the hot tropical sun. 

You gazed up at the night sky, trying so hard to find something familiar and failing. You hoped it was just the bright moon and clouds partially obscuring the night. 

"Starting to think you’re a night owl." There was the tap on your shoulder, yet all that met you was a waving gloved hand that booped your nose before pointing to your other side. 

Buggy had his usual grin on his painted face (another human thing you were slowly getting used to) as he raised the arm missing its hand. It was so odd to see it return to its proper place and loom as if it had never left. "I heard Mohji had you bathe and groom Ritchie, so I would figure you'd be exhausted after that disaster."

You shrugged your shoulders. Trying to wash the lion had been fun, considering the cat hated the water. And afterwards, all Ritchie wanted to do was play as you tried to comb out his fur. And yet… "It's… hard to sleep." So many thoughts and worries constantly running through your head. Missing the heavy warmth of your fur. 

Missing being able to just swim to help relax. You knew humans swam, but how was a mystery to you. 

Buggy nodded as if he understood while he leaned against the rail of the ship, looking out over the waters. And you'd be a liar if you didn't take an extra minute to appreciate his form; long legs crossed, that thin lean body stretched out and muscular forearms braced against the wood. 

"I can help tire you out, if you want," he offered as he caught you staring, his grin wide as could be, punctuating his words with a wink.

You had a feeling that it was a joke--as most things were with him-- though you didn't quite get the punchline. You tilted your head curiously, mimicking his pose as you waited for him to elaborate. 

Only his smile faded once he realized his joke didn't land quite right. "Geez, give a man a beautiful gal and she's as innocent as a lamb," he muttered under his breath. 

"It's not my fault your humor is… different," you defended. "I'd like to see how you do if you were around my kind." 

"Can't swim," he grinned yet again, but one of those smiles that didn't feel sincere. It was a kind that reminded you of a threat, though you had never felt anything akin to fear when around him. "Pretty sure I'd end up as fish food." He paused before tilting his head thoughtfully. "Selkie food?" 

You shouldered him playfully before snapping your teeth at him. "Yes. Because our favorite food is pirates. Especially those with big red noses." 

His demeanor changed quickly, which you did not anticipate. His usual smile was gone, replaced by a dark look that seemed unnatural on his face. "I'll give you this time just because you're you, but no nose jokes." He growled threateningly, making you instinctively back up. 

"I-okay?" You offered placatingly. "I'm sorry? I don't understand, but I won't say anything more, promise." The last thing you needed was him upset and throwing you overboard without your fur. 

Nevermind the fact you didn't want to upset him even if you could swim. 

He glanced over you for a moment before his expression switched again, and he was soon ruffling your hair. "Relax doll. It's just a tender subject." 

You nodded silently, slowly relaxing but still on edge as well. You had seen his tempers, and don't particularly want that directed at you. "... for what it's worth, I think it's perfectly fine." You couldn't help but state, looking back at the inky black waters. 

Buggy huffed dryly. "You thought Mohji's little bear ears were real, so forgive me if I don't use you as a reference on what looks 'perfectly fine.'" 

You blushed as you sunk lower against the rail. "How was I supposed to know?" You had been so confused to see him with his hair flattened by the sudden rainstorm a few days prior. Which had been a riot to the rest of the crew, apparently. 

"Damn it,” Buggy swore under his breath. “You're lucky you're just...adorable." There was a hand at your opposite hip that suddenly pulled you into Buggy's side, his arm already waiting to wrap around your waist. "I could just eat you up."

You squealed as he nipped at your ear playfully, continuing the little joke between you. Yes, you threatened to bite him that first meeting, but it… was also a way your kind established and kept bonds between friends. Family.

Mates. 

Not that he would know that. It was just a game to him. And you would happily keep it that way. 

Prompt: Child

Buggy had to admit, despite the fact you were obviously a fully grown woman, there were times it was hard to see you as anything more than a child. 

Especially those wide eyes of yours opened in wonder as you marveled over such simple things like electricity or Cabji's unicycle. Granted, it did wonders for the egos of him and his freaks to have such a beautiful gal clap enthusiastically during training, complete with delighted laughter that needed no prompting. 

Okay, it was very intoxicating the way you watched. Like he was the most amazing thing you had seen. Forget the spotlight, he wanted the light in your eyes to always remain on him. He wanted to hear you laugh. He wanted to see your smile. 

He wanted all of it. 

(God it was so hard not flirting with you. He was a pirate, but he did have his own code of somewhat-honor. And you were thoroughly making him want to rip it to shreds because of the mix signals you sent.) 

And then came the times where it was clear that while you had a child-like wonder, you were far from defenseless. Those teeth weren't just for show as you proved when an idiot tried to cop a feel.

You weren't kidding that night when you threatened to bite his hand off. He wasn't even sure how you managed to bite the man's hand clean off, but you did. By the time he arrived to the startled gathering crowd, blood smeared your face like a mockery of his own makeup and the ex-crewman was wailing as he held a stump of his hand. 

The crewman shortly went overboard while level-headed Cabji found you some less provocative clothing. And he warned the rest of the crew that if anyone tried that again, he'd let you do as you please. 

Even if it was ripping out their throat. 

At the time the thought was a bit of an exaggeration. Especially as weeks past and he got to know you better. Your violent side was forgotten even as you'd smile and playfully nip at him with those sharp teeth. You were you, after all. Innocent as a lamb…

And then they finally hunted down the fisherman who had your fur. 

Even Ritchie shirked back as you took your revenge, and Buggy was both disturbed and uncomfortably aroused. He hadn't realized how sharp your nails were. How quick you were on land. How vicious you were. 

There was no mercy. And by the time you had your dark silvery fur wrapped around your shoulders like a cozy blanket, most of your body was painted red with the blood of your victims. 

"Join my circus," he offered as soon as your eyes landed on him. If only to stop him from begging you for something else as he stepped forward over the tattered remains of those who had wronged you, his arms spread as wide as his grin. "Join my crew." (Be with me forever. Stay by my side. Don’t leave me.) 

And for a moment, he thought you would take his offer, as you turned towards him, hand partially raised to take one of his. He already had planned that as soon as you touched him, he'd pull you into a hug. To hear you squeal with surprise and laughter. He looked forward to feeling those full curves pressed against his body, the soft warmth radiating from you.

His crew would be even flashier with a selkie. Such a beautiful deadly creature. Being. Person. He didn't even care what roll you took on, you would be amazing. You brought a new spark of life to his crew, and he needed it to stay.

But your hand dropped along with your expression as you stepped away from him. That light in your eyes shifted as you looked away, pulling your fur close to your body. "We had a deal. I'll gather treasure from the seafloor for you, but then I-I should go home." 

It was like you had ripped his heart out, and he couldn't will it back into his body. He lowered his arms, though he didn't dare let his smile fall. 

No one could know how disappointed he was. Or the fact you had just completely devastated him. "Right. Back to your little selkie pals, even though I haven't seen a single one of them trying to help you. Not like we have. We take care of our own, we'd take care of you." 

Okay, maybe a little of his anger seeped out, judging how you shied away. "I'm lost,” you tried to defend. “They don't know where I am, or what happened." 

It didn’t settle well with him. Because if you were his, he'd scout the whole four seas for you. Fuck a map, he'd go to the Grand Line blind to look for you. Raid the entire Red Line. 

But you weren't. And you would never be. 

Because his crew weren’t prisoners. “Okay then, doll face. A deal’s a deal, and it’s time to uphold your end.” 

Prompt: Running Away

How could someone look the absolute same, yet act so differently? 

Tension filled the air when you returned to the ship. Even though you had your fur and should feel complete, you felt… wrong as Buggy all but ignored you, snapping at the crew to take the ship to wherever you would finish your end of the deal. 

Was he that mad that you turned down his offer? 

But… you didn't belong here. Not just aboard the ship, surrounded by landkind. But in their whole society. You kept messing up, you were the odd one out. You couldn't contribute any to their circus acts. 

Besides, they had seen you overreact to knowing you had found the  ones who had stolen your fur. Even after washing yourself as good as you could with a cloth and basin full of water, scrubbing until your skin felt raw, you still could smell the coppery tinge of blood. Taste in your mouth. Remember the feeling of pure bloodlust and rage. 

If the crew had tried to interfere, you would have hurt them. 

You didn't know if Buggy could recall a limb that had been torn asunder. 

Buggy avoided you as the ship tore across the open sea. Before, he would find you several times throughout the day, dragging you to show you something. Or venting about something or another. Or just… teasing you in his own Buggy fashion. 

Now it felt like he avoided you. 

The crew as well, who would give you looks but usually just left you alone. 

You… missed it. How it used to be. 

But it was proof you didn't belong. Right? 

Finally, after days of awkward silence, you came upon a piece of ocean marked by rocks and shipwrecks. Masts and dark stone raised above the deep blew, rubble crashing upon both as the waves turned wicked. 

Finally, Buggy appeared, though avoided looking at you directly, and instead stared at the harsh ocean. "Deadman’s Stacks. Pirates have been trying to use it to escape marines for centuries, often with little luck. Only the best can navigate through the rocky outcropping and the wreckage. And rumor has it, it is a treasure trove beneath the waves." 

Cabaji held a bag out to you, "Fill this with whatever you can find, and a deal's a deal." 

You took the large rucksack, studying it and making a mental note of how to carry it when in seal form, before glancing at Buggy.

Who was still not looking at you. He used to always catch your gaze with his, and you loved the spark in his dark blue eyes. They were like the tropic seas you had begun to enjoy. Vibrant, warm, playful with a hint of treachery. 

Yet now they were as hard and cold as the waters of your home. 

You shoved the thoughts and emotions hounding you and quickly stripped the borrowed clothes, feeling the ocean spray briefly as you wrapped your fur around your shoulder. 

And jumped overboard. 

You heard the start of gasps behind you before you broke the surface of the water, the seal skin furs melting into your body as you changed, senses adjusting to being underwater. 

The damage above was nothing compared to below. You couldn't even see the sea floor through the wrecked boats, though the sea life had adjusted and seemed to thrive in the land-kind's ships. 

With the strap of the rucksack bitten between your teeth, you dove and searched. Finding the bits and bobbles that the pirates seemed to love and carefully placing them in the bag. Which was hard to do without hands, but you managed. 

Time was a foreign concept to you below the ocean,but eventually the rucksack was as full as could be without spilling and you returned to the surface. 

To your seal-eyes, everything was overly bright and hazy, but you could make out the large ship at least, swimming toward it. You could hear the crew once they saw you, whooping and hollering in excitement as you drew closer. 

You… never thought how you were going to get up. 

Just as you realized this, hands gripped your sides just behind your flippers and hiked you up into the air. You bit the strap of the bag in both fear and to keep it from falling as you were lifted up to the deck of the ship. 

Into Buggy's arms. You could make out the red of his nose and blue of his hair amongst the bright light, his mouth spread into a grin. 

Yet before you could do anything, he had set you down on the wooden deck and gently pried your rucksack from your mouth. Even with your poor senses, you could see and hear them clamoring over the treasures you had brought up. 

You had done your end of the bargain. Now it was time to leave. Part of your heart wanted to stay, and threw a fit as you forced your body to wiggle towards the edge. 

You heard Buggy call out for you just as you threw yourself overboards, freefalling into the waters below. 

[fadebolt]

Well, here we are, the 1v1 polls. And you know what that means - it's time for another format shift! I'm going to keep things simple, by listing what each of the two options have over the other, and making a conclusion of off that. Since most of the rooms in this round have a bit of an emotional aspect to them (case in point - this very poll), it's gonna be a little difficult to keep a sense of objectivity, but I'll try my best.

So, this one is about the city view room from The Exterior, and the large climbable tree from Outer Expanse. Since the city view came first, let's address it first as well.

I think the main thing that H01 does a lot better than TREETOP is that it's way easier to find, since Five Pebbles always tries to get Slugcats to leave the puppet chamber by going upward, rather than downward, into his superstructure. This means that the room only gets avoided when the player is deliberately refusing to take the path of least resistance, whereas TREETOP specifically demands that you don't take the path of least resistance. (And as such, a lot of players will miss it - I know I sure did. It's a good thing the devs put an unlockable there, cus otherwise, I might not have ever checked on it… just like how I never checked on the Metropolis Echo)

And is there anything else to note?

Well, I would say that it heavily wins in the music department, too - Stargazer is a very hard hitting piece of music that fits this area perfectly, and is the reason why this is such an impactful moment for people's first playthroughs, whereas Reminiscence is just kind of…. fine. (Bet ya didn't even know it plays in TREETOP, did ya? I actually had to look it up on a Reddit post myself xd)

There's also the fact that people got so obsessed over the background visuals of this one room that modders actually decided to make entire regions based off of it. And yes, I did use 'regions' plural, because Metropolis ain't the only fanmade region where you get to go into an Ancient city (though Scorched District is the only other example I know, but I'm sure there's more). I believe H01 is the only room that has managed to accomplish something like this (cus Rubicon and The Rot were seemingly off of subregions, not individual rooms), which is why it's an enormous achievement.

Now that we've noted all this, what is it that TREETOP has to offer? A decent number of things, as you might imagine.

For starters, it actually has some decent gameplay, where you get to do a bit of fun climbing, instead of just having to hold your finger on the right or left arrow key on your keyboard, as you wait for your Slugcat to get from one pipe to the other. The room feels a lot less tedious as a result of this, especially since it takes a lil shorter to get through, as well.

Most Downpour players also know that H01 gets Scavengers in Spearmaster's and Artificer's campaigns, which can be a minor inconvenience at best, and an utterly insufferable obstacle that kills you multiple times at worst. Not to mention, thanks to how the campaigns of those 2 Slugcats work, both of them are pretty much forced to cross the room, so you kind of have no choice, but to deal with this new annoyance (unless you want to use a Passage as SM, or bring a lvl 5 Karma Scavenger corpse into the Underhang gate as Arti...... and then reach the Metropolis gate by going back down, and then climbing up the Wall). It's a neat world building detail, but god, does it suck for gameplay!

To get back on track with TREETOP's positives, it allows you to see something you couldn't see anywhere else, either before or after - which is Five Pebbles' can from afar. The interactive map really doesn't do it justice, but it is extremely well detailed, and extremely well drawn, and honestly, just hats off to whoever made this background because they did an incredible job, that I really cannot do justice for, within this little reblog!

I would give it points for having that beautiful glowing orb thingy, buuuuut this is technically not the only room that uses it. However, I believe that this is by far the biggest one, so there's that.

In conclusion - this is a really difficult choice. I feel like the achievements of H01 outweigh the achievements of TREETOP, but the former also has weakspots that are much more significant and egregious than the weakspots of the latter. I'm still going with H01, partially because I have a bit of a bias, being a pre-Downpour player, but also because of just how much that one room actually did for the game in general. I know that TREETOP is more popular, and believe me, I totally get it (if my long praise speech on it wasn't proof enough), but sometimes, you really can't help but appreciate the impact that something has had.

Pick Your Favorite Rain World Room, Day 283 R5

There is a hidden slugcat in one of the rooms (they can be in any color). If u can see it comment or reblog with where they are and if u are first, u get a cookie!

Credit for game screenshots goes to: Rain World Interactive Map, Rain World Wiki and me

Congratulations for day 282 winners!

[prof-peach]

If you could cross over two of your favorite games, which would you choose? Please explain, why that crossover would be a good match.

Oh you’re going to regret asking this one, I’m bout to GET SERIOUS.

So Pokemon, obvs, I love the whole world it’s built in, but the games imo are REALLY boring, I haven’t enjoyed one a lot since gale of darkness, the main ones just are a little too linear obvious plots, pretty standard setups for story and style. Speaking of style, the games lack personality, the models aren’t animated well, moves have no dynamic energy or visual difference at times, and the turn based battle style just feels kind of, I don’t know, old? Slow? Just doesn’t suit what I enjoy personally, gives me a FInal Fantasy vibe and I just cannot stand the speed at which things happen in those games, plus not into 3rd person ‘let’s build a team of people’ much, but that’s a problem for another time. With this all in mind, the game I wish would happen is like gen20 Pokemon, far future sadly, I doubt I’d see it in my lifetime but god I’d be happy if I did!

Ok so take the newest Zelda graphics, the visual treat that was BOTW, open world, puzzles, not JUST combat, you got side missions, hunt the chickens, find missing pets, parcels, items, whatever. Love it! The horse taming?! Amazing you funky little game. Now take the bad guys and beasts from that. And put Pokemon in instead. Give them the diversity, the life and believable natures that BOTW gave the animals, I followed a frog in BOTW for 15 minutes, and it was a great experience, it felt like it was believable. Above world spawning, ACTUAL difficult gameplay, rare spawn rates, make dragons hard to get again, cmon, it’s too easy now, make it so we need a certain set of Pokemon for certain tasks. Water types big enough to carry you will be able to get you to new areas, rock types that can help you climb mountains faster, or break through blocking boulders. Actual towns with more than 4 houses in them, shops, barns, farms, homes. Like little link with the heat, maybe ice types would struggle in volcano areas, or bug Pokemon not be so comfortable in gale force winds. Give the weather more of an effect on your partners. Mounts, don’t even get me started that Pokemon Let’s go had you able to ride any of the larger species, but swsh did not???? Bitch please, give me my rideable Pokemon. The wild area too was far too closed, limited, online was laggy and a mess, camping is limited, let me do more with my team. Pokemon for me is all about the actual creatures, how they live with humans, and the many wonderful things they’re capable of. Yes of course it’s cool they can fight, but like what else you know?

I’d love a game that lets me buy a plot of land, maybe plant things, custom build things. I’m a sucker for the fallout4 settlement builds when they’re modded to hell and back, they’re fun! It can be a really calm and creative process. If I could do that and skip the main campaign and all the battles for a bit? Amazing, it sound perfect for me. I am that distracted hoe collecting flowers while the kingdom burns in the background. Side quests are everything to me. Let me give homeless people enough money to get them in a home? Let me adopt Pokemon that are stray around the town? Plz oh plz bring me a Pokemon game that allows me to work WITH my team to do more than KO other species. I want to save and buy a plow for my buddy gogoat, and grow amazing foods to sell to get currency to spend in decorations, to spoil my team. Give me actual game consequence, if I ignore that sick and injured Pokemon I find in the wild, later maybe it’s family don’t want to help me out with a different problem, too stricken from grief. I am all about the average bits, the old women who need help, the lost pets board in town, the general day to day stuff. Let me get cosmetic items for the Pokemon I keep, cute outfits, special gemstone items, let me actually live with them, or even feel remotely like they’re realistic.

Ok so in game, if it’s looking like BOTW it’s pretty beautiful but also stylised, I’d have it so you can send out a maximum of 3 Pokemon from your 6, using bumpers and such to throw them out. If you hit the trigger you switch from controlling the human trainer, to the Pokemon you’ve targeted with a standard lock on targeting system. You then can be the leader, but be the Pokemon. You could technically defeat the game without a human if you wanted, which incorporates the mystery dungeon games I think, and caters to that crowd. I’d love to see the use of attacks out of battle, things like using water gun to grow plants, using ember to start a campfire faster and stave off the cold. There’s no consequence to Pokemon anymore, and I think that’s where it’s lost me. I have to admit I miss the days of a poisoned pokemon fainting if you don’t heal them soon enough, I miss gym battles that were actually tough, damn, try picking charmander in red and beating brock without grinding in viridian forest first, it’s not easy. And I loved that. Yes it’s a child’s game, it will never be difficult again, but god it’d be nice to have a bit of a challenge, or maybe a difficulty setting, so some could play it with hostility turned off, great for kids, or you can be n adult like I know so many Pokemon fans are, and play it on expert mode and ACTUALLY have to work hard to beat the game. Alternate skill trees anyone? Train gun a fire type to ACUTALLy combat water moves?? Please! Cmon! It frustrated me that every challenger has pretty much a systematic set of moves to use to win. Grass opponent? Fire attack spam until you win. It’s dull, so at least with very difficult tricks to either find or learn in game would make it more achievable if you can send that fire type in and I don’t know, train them so much the heat evaporates the water mid-battle and you suddenly have a shot at winning. Pokemon has taught me that if you work hard enough you can achieve something, but the games just have such strict ways to win. Feels wrong.

In terms of battling, let us BE the Pokemon, let us learn to dodge, train our speed, train our defence, make a team of truly tough Pokemon instead of just, average? Some species have a cap on their skills, a squirtle has lower stat points than a Charizard, but you can’t ever change that? Let me choose the Pokemon I believe in, and let me work with them until they’re just as good, if not better than the game tanks. This would also make online battles more interesting. Everyone picks the top trio. Fairy, dragon, legendaries. And yknow what? It’s boring. That one IRL fight with the monster Pacharisu that won in the world tournament with follow me and the situs Berry? Unbelievable, I love that little rat so much because of this, so let us all have a chance to build a team that’s strategically viable, strong, and potentially a winner formula, even if they aren’t fully evolved, or the biggest Pokemon in the world. Yeah maybe you have to grind way harder with your unevolved Pokemon, but you get to the end game and win, because you put love and time into species that you enjoy, not just good fighters.

Unfortunately I am beholdent to Todd-idiot-Howard, and I love the Eldrescrolls and fallout games (before they got dumb, not that I don’t play the new ones. 76 I’m looking at you, you big asshole game.) honestly I hate online games, so none of that junk, just a good old fashioned open world sandbox game is plenty. Games for me are an escape from others, not an invitation to socialise. To each their own of course, and I do play online games sometimes, just pretty short lived ones, over watch and rdr2 for example. Would they be sometimes better on private servers? Yes of course, fallout76? Want to play with others? No. I do not. Please leave me alone. And if you buy a private server you’re feeding the monster that is Todd Howard, the man the myth the asshole, then we’ll get more bad games like 76. I just so desperately want the Pokemon company to see what a beautiful potential game they’ve got on their hands, that could be suitable for far greater audiences, but instead they’ve focused on the kids. It’s fine, it’s functional, but it’s lost to the fans from day 1, that are all 20+ years old now and want something meatier to play, something far more broad and inclusive. I also hate that there’s no wheelchair option in any Pokemon game. Like cmon, it’s not hard to include that.

In short, BOTW + Pokemon, with a sprinkle of open world sandbox to it, less fighting, more fun. Or, at least both options. Sure, go fight everything, great, but I want to farm carrots over here with 6sunflora, plz let me have some peace.

Edit: I forgot about harvest moon, chuck some of that in there too.

SECOND EDIT: someone in the comments mentioned to put this in Unova? Plz love yourselves, this game would be ALL MAPS. Stuff one singular location, this is the ideal game, put every map in it, join them, put islands in, make them more explorable, more detailed!

[sunflowerryvol6]

Sweet Summer

No warnings, just pure fluff.

WC: 3.6k

Long time no see! I hope you like this! I'll try and link the songs on this page, but no promises. Leave any suggestions for stories you'd like to see! Also, do comment, and tell me what you like about these two! As always, feedback is always welcome.

Check out my masterlist

You could listen to the songs here. I listened to this while writing this.

'I know how the summer goes' softly played in the background; she was sticky with sweat. She was sprawled on the floor of their bedroom. He sat on the bed above her. She was working on an essay on summer love for her column, the deadline was fast approaching. She looked to her left, and their room overlooked the ocean. The window opened to the bedroom patio, where they would often sit and work during the summer. Today he was oiling her hair while she worked hard on her piece. He'd just wrapped up, so he offered to help ease out some stress. She laid her head on the side on his knee and looked out to the sun shining down on the beach.

Ellie could almost touch the memory of when she first realised she was in love with Harry.

4 years earlier...

They'd been dating for a few weeks now. Harry planned the first date, so she arranged the second one. She'd quickly realised that Harry loved his walks. Working as a software developer left him with little to no time to move around. So he takes any opportunity to exercise or move his body. Ellie was a freelance journalist who's spent the better part of the last two years working from home. The idea of walking around or being on her feet was too taxing because of her chronic pain. But she liked harry, didn't she. So that's what she kept telling herself. When her hips hurt a little too much, or when she pulled her back from walking around too long. It'd all be worth it in the end. It had to be.

On this particular evening, they'd decided to meet up for a gig. Harry had found this artist that was playing in a bar downtown, so they'd meet there. She walked up to him and kissed him on the lips. "Hello to you too" He smiled.

"Hey, I'm sorry, I just missed you." She smiled wide. "I missed you too." He linked their arms and walked into the bar. He asked her to go ahead, and he'd join her with drinks. She walked on and waited for the band to start playing. He found his way back to her soon enough, with their favourite beverages.

Once the gig was over, they walked out of the bar and discussed where they should go to get dinner. "So, there's this brilliant taco place just down the road. We can walk there. What'd you say?" He smiled at her.

"Oh sure, let's." Ellie knew this wasn't the best decision. She'd be in a whole lot of pain by the end of the evening. She had work tomorrow, a deadline she couldn't miss. But It had to be worth it, right?

"What'd do you want to listen to today?" She suggested. She dug into her bag to find the earphone connector and offered it to him. They'd do this a lot, listen to music together, a new genre every date, sometimes their favourite albums. The last time they were listening to Harry's 70's indie playlist. You can tell a lot about a person by the music they heard. This was quite the ice breaker during their first few dates, so they decided to make it a thing. Now they would sometimes pick certain words or phrases and listen to what came up.

"Guilty pleasures?" He asked. "I can tell you, but I'm afraid it won't make for a great romantic walk down a dark road" She smiled. "I can take it." He laughed.

So she did. They blasted an old rock playlist, with mostly Cream. "You really love Cream, huh?" He said after a bit. "More than Neutral Milk Hotel," She told straightfaced. He blinked at her for a sec and burst out laughing. "That was a terrible one. Worse than my puns, God!" He laughed.

"These tacos better be mind fucking blowing, Styles," She says. Her hips were starting to ache a little. "Yes, Ma'am. I wouldn't dare disappoint you." He smiled. Their conversation went on about things here and there. Soon they reached the taco truck, right by the side of the road. The place was packed with people. Patrons had resorted to sitting on the pavement because of the wait.

"Okay, their birria tacos are the best, but we can get something else if you'd like?" Harry asked her. "Oh, that actually sounds absolutely perfect. Do you mind if I go get us a spot while you go get the food?" Ellie asked. "Sure, you do that." He said and leaned to kiss her cheek and made his way to the truck.

Ellie walked towards the pavement and slowly sat down. The moment her bum hit the pavement softly, she knew she was in a world of pain. Only more was waiting for her the longer this night went. She quickly dug into her purse to get out her cigarettes and lit one. It set in some ease, but it wasn't enough. She needed to get home, but what'd she tell Harry? Her experience telling people about her chronic pain has always ended up in them pitying her or not entirely believing her. Now, don't be fooled. She's in pain, but she didn't want no one's pity. She just wanted someone to recognise the pain and help her find a goddamn solution to it. In contemplating her exit strategy, she didn't realise she started tearing up. She quickly stubbed her cigarette and switched on some music to distract her. She waited patiently till Harry arrived with the food.

Harry walked over to Ellie with their food in his hand. Only to find her doubled over with her head on her knees. He rushed to her, placed their food on the pavement, and nudged her shoulder. "Ellie, are you okay?" He asked her gently. Ellie looked up, and she looked like she was in a lot of pain. "Hey! What's wrong? Why are you crying?" He seemed very concerned now. "I'm in a lot of pain right now, and it flares up when I'm on my feet for too long. I'd been out all day before we met, and I wasn't expecting us to walk around so much." She all but cried. "Oh, you poor thing. I'll call a cab right now, and I'll take you home, okay?" Harry said, his hand gently rubbed her arm. She sniffled in response.

The cab arrived soon enough. Harry helped her into the car and got in after her. "Would you like to try and sleep till we get there? I can keep an eye on the map." He offered. "Thank you." She said before leaning her head against the window and closed her eyes.

"Ellie, darling. We're here." His voice broke her out of the soft slumber she'd fallen into. She opened her eyes and looked out, and sure enough, they were outside her apartment building. She got out of the cab and started walking towards her door, expecting him to follow her. Still, she turns around to check, and he's about to call out to her. "Are you not going to come upstairs?" She questioned. "I need to make one more stop. I'll be up in 10." He shrugged. "Okay, don't be too long." She says and continues walking.

Harry takes the cab to the nearest store and buys a pack of Epsom salt. His sister would always soak her feet in Epsom salt and hot water after ballet lessons. So he knew this would bring Ellie some relief.

Whenever they'd had a sleepover, they always end up at Harry's place, so he'd never really been here to her home. Her door was a dark pink, kind of Fuschia. He turned the knob, and it was open, so he walked in. The place was filled with little trinkets and plants and other knick-knacks all over the place. The centre of attention had to be her bright yellow couch. All her furniture was pointed at this showcase filled with other ceramic figurines. It was very colourful. If you look at Ellie, you wouldn't expect her to live here. Her style is muted and minimalistic, apart from her hair. That was always a bright colour. This time it was bright pink, very close to the colour of her door. He wondered if she changed the colour of her door as often as she changed her hair. But otherwise, she wore blacks mainly with an occasional cream and some other muted colours. So why the eccentricity in her décor, he wondered. He didn't ask her, though.

"So I think a hot bath would really help you, I got some Epsom salt, and you know, we could try it?" He asked her hesitantly. "A long bath can help ease your pain," he said. "Yeah, I'd like that," she said. "You wait here; I'll set it up." He ventured into her flat. She took off her jacket, walked into her kitchen and took out a joint. Holding the joint in between her fingers, she looked for the lighter and slowly lit it. Walked back to the couch, took off her pants and sweater she was wearing and laid back on the sofa and took a long drag. She knew now she could relax, and the pain would slowly ease up.

Meanwhile, in her bathroom, Harry was running a bath for her. He sat on the edge of the tub with his hand underwater to check the water temperature. Once it was hot enough, Harry walked back to the living room. He walked in on her, smoking the joint, for the first time that evening, he saw her so relaxed and quiet. He didn't want to disturb her. But she opened her eyes, "Hey you" she smiled. He reached for her. "The bath is ready. Come on," He said. She took his hand and got up. She stood on her tippy toes and kissed him, and he kissed her back, slowly supporting his palm on her lower back. He deepened the kiss, she put her arms around his neck. He smiled into the kiss and pulled away.

"I really like you, you know?" He held her in place with his arm around him and looked at her. His gaze bore into her. "I'm here for you, so you have to tell me how I can help you," He said. That's when Ellie looked away. She started walking towards the bathroom and looked over her shoulder. "Come sit with me?" She asked. "Of course." He said. "Can you bring me the ice pack from the freezer, please?" She called out. He turned around and walked into the kitchen and opened the fridge to get the ice pack. He checked the time on his phone and walked back into her bathroom.

Ellie was already in the bathtub, and there was music playing softly while she smoked. He sat on the toilet and passed her the ice pack. "Here you go," He said. In return, she handed him the joint. He gave her a small smile and took it from her. He took a long drag and leaned back on the seat to stretch his legs a bit. She had these tiny pots of creepers wound up on different pipes all over her bathroom. She held the icepack to her face and felt so much relief.

"Elle, are you feeling any better?" He asked her. She nodded. Did the day go just like you wanted? played softly as she hummed along to it. "I know you want me to tell you what's going on, but I'm afraid you'll think I'm crazy," She said, not looking at him. "Darling, try me. I'm here to listen," He offered. He was still nursing the joint, looking like some kind of greek god. Just casually sitting on her toilet and observing her so carefully, she felt safe. Ellie's pain had calmed down a bit. The hot bath was helping quite a bit.

"Okay, so here goes, I took a fall about three years ago, and it kind of fucked my knee up. So I couldn't exercise much, and I wasn't moving around much. After a few months, I tried to do a simple workout, just to get back into the routine, but I was in an excruciating amount of pain." She looked up at him and saw that he'd moved to sit on the floor closer to her. When she looked up, he reached for her hand with a smile and held it. His rings felt cold on her hands as he slowly pressed the points on her fingers. It felt perfect. So she focused on that and continued. "After that, I went to a doctor to figure why it happened, but they couldn't understand because there weren't markers on the tests they did. Over the years, I went to all kinds of practitioners to help me find a solution to this pain, if not an answer to what it is. But they just kept saying it's in my head and not really give me an answer. I went to a psychiatrist, and they tried medication for depression. It only made me very drowsy and inefficient at work. But other than that, I don't really know what it is. I'm just hurting all the time." She sighed.

"Ellie, that is not okay. You shouldn't be in this amount of pain. I'm so glad you told me about it." He said. Harry reached for a stray strand on her face and pushed it back, and ran his thumb along her cheek. "Over time, I have stopped talking to people about this, 'cause it's not going change anything, and they just end up pitying me. So I did the next best thing, I bought this flat and made my home chronic pain friendly. I work from home, so I don't exert myself and have done that for over 2 years now. It's awfully lonely, though."

"I can't imagine how that must feel. For the record, I don't pity you. I just wish you'd told me before, then I wouldn't make our dates so hard on you. But wait. Did I cause you a lot of pain when we had sex?" He worried his lip and looked at her. "Oh no! You didn't at all. I just didn't want you to think I'm somehow weak and can't take care of myself. Today was a lot, and I'd been out for a couple of meetings for some upcoming projects, and it just all ended up weighing me down." She was tearing up now. "Darling, please don't cry. I don't think you can't take care of yourself. I think it was incredibly responsible of you to tell me when you reached your limit. I'm happy to accommodate whatever you need." He said to her. She could tell he was earnest. "Thank you, Harry. It feels good to be able to tell someone and have them believe me." She said to him.

They had been listening to Sea Change by Beck while they smoked together. He sat on the floor of her bathroom, with his legs stretched out and his hand in the water, holding one of her ankles. Just as a reassurance that he wasn't leaving. They talked mindlessly. He asked her about her ceramic figurines, and she told him that her grandma used to collect them, then her mom, and now she does. She brought them with her when she moved to this city. Her favourite one was the teal coloured soapstone hippo. She used to have heart-shaped soapstone, but she gave it to an ex who threw it away after they broke up. Just like that, he told her about the first time he fell in love. How he likes to keep in touch with his exes because they all ended mutually and were lovely people. She told him about her first break-up. They exchanged sibling horror stories. He told her about his niece Willow, whom he lovingly calls Willy. She hadn't realised until then, as they listened to the saddest break-up albums of all time, that Harry was in it for the long haul. "Think you're ready to move to the bed?" He asked as he rubbed his eyes. She slowly got up, and he stood up to help her out of the bath. Pulled up a towel for her and handed it to her. She walked over to her drawer and pulled out a pair of pyjamas for herself. He undressed into his boxers and placed his clothes on the wing chair next to her windowsill. She got into bed and opened the covers up for him. Her room was decorated the same, but fewer breakable items were in there. She had a few pictures of her family upon her wall, and a dog that he assumed was her childhood pet. He climbed in. "Small spoon?" He asked her; she answered by wrapping his around her and laid her head on his chest. He slowly ran his fingers through her hair, and she sighed in contentment. "You know, when I first realised that they weren't gonna be able to find what's wrong with me, I'd listen to 'If you're feeling sinister a lot. It was kind of a constant at the time." she said.

"When Stuart Murdoch wrote the album, he was diagnosed with chronic fatigue syndrome, so he was on bed rest for a long time. He used to look out of his window and see all these people living their lives, and he'd feel so left out? So he poured all that yearning into it. One of the songs even has an overlay of children playing in the background. That album got me through some dark times." Harry was running a finger along her arm, raising goosebumps on her warm skin. Harry places a kiss on her hair, "You know when, Willow, was a little girl. I'd play this game with her during bedtime. It would really tire her out and change her mind from being upset for having to go to bed. Do you want to try it?" He says. "Sure, why not?" She smiles and places a kiss on his tattooed chest.

"Close your eyes. No peeking, okay?" He looks over to check a pokes a finger in her side to make sure, and she bursts out in giggles. "Okay! I promise." She laughs out. He holds her closer and takes a deep breath, her hair smells of berries and residual smoke, and he decides then that's his favourite smell. "We're on a hill. It's cold out. Both of us huddled under a blanket, looking at the sky. It's just us there, so it's very quiet. You can hear the birds around and the slight wind. When it touches you, you dig yourself closer to me, and I hold you a little tighter, just like I am right now." She listens carefully, picturing precisely what it would look like. She wonders if they have any pets with them, "Can we have a dog?" She asks, "Of course, whatever you'd like, pet." He says. "Okay, so we have a dog, a dalmatian puppy. What do you think her name should be?" She asks him. "You want a girl, huh?" He smirked at her. "Uh yeah, they're best, of course." She said as a matter of factly. "Um, what do you think of birdie?" "I love it." she smiles. "Birdie is running circles around our blanket. She's completely enchanted by butterflies and jumping up and down to get to them. She smells like lavender shampoo and puppy smell. She has a small spot on her nose that's shaped like a heart. That's what made you pick her at the pound. She's wearing a baby pink collar with a gold medallion which has her name engraved on it. She just saw us watching her, so now rushing to cuddle. She comes running to us and lands herself right in between, and we take her inside the blanket and settle in for a good ol' nap." Listening to him describe in such detail a life that he envisions for the two of them makes her feel so full of love.

"I feel so full and happy. A little hazy with that feeling, so much so that I can't remember what I was upset about." She smiles into his chest. "I told you, it'll help. It's tried and tested, ma'am." He says, ruffling her hair a bit. "Thank you so much, Harry. Thank you for staying and taking care of me and making sure I was okay. Thank you for listening to me and not judging me and just being here." She tears up a little.

"Hey, no tears." He says, wiping a stray tear that escaped. "And, you don't have to thank me at all. I just want you to be honest with me, so I can be there for you. You don't need to carry this all on your own. If you allow me, I'd like to ease the burden a little bit." He says as he runs his thumb along her cheek.

Now...

The loud barking from the other room jolts her out of her daydream. She looks up to see the reason behind the sound. Birdie comes running towards their bed with her toy, all prepared to jump up, but Harry stops her. "Birdie, no! Don't jump on Mummy!" "It's okay, Harry." Ellie reaches for Birdie. "You spoil her so much, she'd never going to learn." "Oh come on, sweets, it's our vacation. You have to let her get away with some things."

He sits up, and Birdie immediately places herself on his lap and whines for him to scratch her. He happily obliges. "Now, my darling wife, come here and give me a kiss before I take our baby out for a wee." You smile and lean up for a kiss. He kisses your nose once before getting out of bed and walking over to wear a pair of shorts. He turns around to Ellie, and says "Are you feeling up to a picnic?"

She smiles and hits save on the document she was typing. "Yes, I'll get the snacks ready. Give me five minutes." She places the laptop on the bed and walks over to him. She reaches on her tippy toes and grabs him by the neck, and gives him one big kiss.

[bookwyrminspiration]

hello! just curious, how do you plot out your stories? (for example, what have you done to plan out the wings au? do you have it all in your head? do you plan it out on paper or in a doc specifically for it? do you just go with the flow? sorry if this is a lot of questions lol i'm just trying to convey my point-)

hello, synonym!! lovely to see you again! I'd love to share my process!

as I explain my personal methods (again, personal, just how I do things!), I'll use the wings au as an example because i know you've read it and it'll just be easier over all. but essentially, yes to all of the above, just with different parts of the story!

my progression is: chaotic doc, background (as needed), basic written plot, expansion on the plot, any other details needed, and then just write things! but don't worry, I'll provide more detail, i say as if i'm capable of being concise

(putting below a readmore for simplicity)

chaotic doc: so, the very first thing I do when i have a story is open up a doc, and write down everything i know about it in little bullet points and rambling sentences, just basic information with no organization. the organizing can come later, right now I just want to get as much of what's in my head onto the paper as possible.

I type out the basic premise of the story or the few things I know about how I want it to go, the things I know I want to remember later, things I'd need to think about to set it up, etc. for the wings au, this was details like everyone's wings (things to remember later), how they got those wings and a sentence or two about what the world was like now (things I needed to think about to set it up), a little blurb about where the story would start. this is less writing details about the story, and more noting down the details I want to figure out later in the expansion. i find it works best to type this out because i'm a much faster typer than I am at physical writing, which allows me to follow the flow of my thoughts a lot better and go back and change things.

background: background prepares me for the next step, but the amount of effort I put into this section depends on how complex my story is. it basically means write down (we've moved to pencil and paper now, but this could be digital too if you prefer) anything you need to know in order to set up the rest of your story. what do you need to know in order to tell the story you need to and to get you where you want to be? for the wings au, the background was that the world had been overrun with monsters and everyone was living underground now. the neverseen had been defeated, or so they thought, coming back later. all these things that essentially prepared me to get to the plot. it told me where the story was happening and the emotional/physical environment everything else would happen under. if you have a more worldbuilding heavy world, this step might be a little more complex, or if there's something very specific with the characters you need as context beforehand.

sometimes the readers will be aware of pieces of the background, and it's even necessary for them to know--for example, you all knowing the elven world is in the middle of a monster apocalypse and living underground; if you didn't know, the rest of the story wouldn't make any sense. but there may be things you write down that are just for you to know, personal notes. for example, I have notes written about how the monsters came to be, more specifically, that you all haven't been made aware of and may never be. planning this out is for you, so if there's something you want to remind yourself to keep in mind while writing, this could be a good place. but now that we know the world we're writing in, we can move on

basic plot: for me, I struggle to figure out where to take a story, and if I don't have the basic concept laid out before I start writing, I ended up with really weird stories that completely deviate from what i wanted (I say this from experience). so I break it down into the bare essentials. literally as basic as I can be. there are five crucial parts of a plot: exposition, rising action, climax, falling action, and resolution. just those five. for each of those, i write--writing, because it takes more time (allows me to think) and feels more organized to me, but you can do it differently--just the general idea I have for each section. just as few words as possible. detail comes later. for the wings au I literally wrote "they get wings" for rising action. having read the wings au, you know just how simplified that is.

one things that might help is consider how you would explain this idea to someone in one or two sentences. you just want to make sure you have a beginning, middle, end, and the transition between them. from there you've got the skeleton of your story, and everything else can fit itself into this idea.

expansion: now that you have the skeleton, it's time to fill in some of the more essential anatomy. this is where you add the specifics. for me, i write this physically in bullet points in a journal of some kind. I take the first section, and write down how the story is going to start. where am I going to begin this journey. for the wings au I wrote "beginning: sneaking into breeding facility to destroy monsters. problem: caught/monster breaks loose." if you remember this is essentially the events of the first chapter but in two sentences. I'm giving enough detail that I know what I'm going to write, but not so much it's going to be stifling to follow my exact notes when I actually get to writing. this will be different for different people, so you may want more or less detail than I provided, I'm just giving an example of how I did it.

I continue this for the rest of the plot, but that doesn't mean every single little detail that will ever happen is planned out. I'm not patient enough to be super thorough with every little thing, so I go long enough until I have a solid understanding of what I'm going to start with when I'm writing, or just until I'm bored and can't deal with planning anymore. for me, that meant I was more detailed when planning from the mission in the facility to them getting to the abandoned gnomish village, as those would be some of the first things I would be writing about. after that, I got more vague and just touched on some of the key part of each of those five sections. I take those two/three words and turn them into two/three bullet points. I also didn't want to be too specific with the later details, because I knew i'd be influenced by things as I wrote and would be inspired to fill that out.

any other details: this is kind of any afterthoughts you might have or details you need to keep i mind that aren't necessarily plot. you may have a lot of these, or you may have none. for me, this was where I wrote down what kinds of wings and other animalistic traits each of the characters had (yes, I wrote them down again). it's not strictly plot, but it does affect the rest of the story. this is also where I write anything I forgot to when going through the first time, and then i can draw a little arrow pointing towards where it fits in to the rest of the story or is relevant (which is part of why I like the writing aspect, but this is entirely achievable on a doc). another example from the au is me writing "domestic" to the side and pointing it back to my notes about the gnomish village, because while it wasn't essential to moving the plot forward, i wanted to touch on some aspects of domestic live with the ten of them while they were there.

just write things: now that you have all this planning done (good job, you!) you can get into the writing aspect. you've already decided your beginning and know where you want to go, so this is the part where you just starting putting words on the page. it can be pretty daunting to just look at a blank page, so if you'd like, start a paragraph in. skip the first paragraph and just start in the middle of something else--you can add back what's missing later. I personally note things that I want to come back to inside [brackets like this], and that can be words, sentences, entire paragraphs. i use the square ones specifically because I don't use them in my writing unlike (these parentheses), and then I can search the document for them all at once and see all the places I need to go back.

this is also where the "just in my head" and "make it up as I go" part comes into place. you have a pretty good idea of what you're doing, but you're going to have ideas as you write, so sometimes you just follow the flow of your brain and write things you could've never even planned for. and if you're interacting with others as you're going (like I'm talking about theories with you all while writing future chapters) then you may be inspired by them to add things to the story. originally, I wasn't going to even have any messages from Bronte or Oralie, but now because I saw what some of the people reading it were picking up on, I realized the potential there and added them in on a whim

and sometimes when you get stuck, the best way to get yourself out of that is to just add something random, which can spiral off and affect the rest of the story. I've said it before, but the dragons were not planned. I'd actually seen a piece of writing advice months ago that if you're stuck, change the weather. so I was stuck and made a sudden rainstorm, but then I needed an explanation as to how things got so wet so fast because I'd mentioned clear skies earlier. so in my attempt to explain it, dragons came to exist. writing is a process, so don't limit yourself to everything you've written. you'll be inspired along the way, so try to take it in stride.

one final note: as much as you plan, this is not going to be a definite map for how the story will go. maybe something makes sense as you're planning it out, but when you get to actually writing it makes no sense as all and you need to change things. that's fine! this kind of a plan is just to get you prepared and keep you afloat amongst this ocean of words trapped in your head that you want to transcribe. if something isn't working, change it! in my original written plan for the wings au they weren't going to run away for a few weeks, instead sneaking out for an hour or two at a time over those few weeks because they couldn't stand being underground anymore, until Linh was actually the first one to make contact with a creature and realize it didn't immediately want to kill her. but because she's not the narrator of this story, I couldn't write it the way i wanted, so I gave that to sophie in the tree.

this is just my approach to my more complicated stories! for some of the really quick ones, I just open a doc and start going. this kind of thinking keeps me organized so that I'm doing the idea the most justice. but just because it works for me doesn't mean it'll work for everyone. if it does work for you, great! but if there are parts you need to modify for yourself, you are more than encouraged to do so. personally, if I could only chose one part of this process to rely on, it would be the basic plot. that's the key to everything for me, but for others it might be something different.

I hope this helps with whatever it is you're writing!! I wish you luck and look forward to seeing whatever it is (should you chose to share it, no pressure)!! if you'd like more of my process on how I write it consistently and update on a schedule, I'd be more than happy to talk about that too!

[something-fanfiction-ie]

24 Hours

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Reader

Warnings: You get buried alive and uhm... I think a curse word or two?

A/N: So, before you notice, yes this is largely based on season two episode nine of Bones, Aliens in the Spaceship. Also, yes this is a criminal minds imagine and yes I’ve hopelessly and irrevocably fallen in love with Matthew Gray Gubler. Please like, comment, reblog, and send me asks, I love that shit. Also, if you’ve never seen criminal minds, you should watch it. Even if only for Dr. Spencer Reid aka Matthew Gray Gubler. You’re welcome in advance.

___

“Hey Spenny, I’m going out to get some coffee. Do you want anything?” Your voice echoed around in Spencer’s head, the image of you waving at him from the door as you walked away imprinted into his mind. Would it be the last time he would ever see you?

“(Y/N) (Y/L/N) has been buried alive,” Hotchner stood in the front of the room with Spencer’s phone on speaker. The whole team sat around the table with varying degrees of horror displayed on their faces as the realization dawned on them, “Wire transfer five million dollars to the following Grand Cayman account.” Spencer buried his head in his hands, his fingers tangling into his hair.

Your eyes were on him as you waved over your shoulder, stepping through the door with just a glance and a smile. He kept playing it through his mind in slow motion. Now you were underground, running out of air and running out of time.

“Upon receipt of the wire transfer, I will provide you with Agent (Y/L/N)’s GPS coordinates. You have 24 hours. This will be my last communication.” The BAU jumped into action, people pulling the files from the previous abductions and swapping theories.

“Where in the hell are we going to get five million dollars? The FBI has a strict policy about not paying ransoms.” Morgan slammed a fist on the table, gritting his teeth as his mind raced.

“Her parents.” Spencer looked up, pulling himself out of his head. He needed to be actively helping. They had twenty four hours and sitting at the table with his head in his hands wouldn’t help anything.

Pushing away from the table, the young doctor stood up to look at Agent Hotchner.

“When her parents died they left everything to her. She’s never touched it, said it felt too much like blood money.” Hotchner nodded, looking across the room to Garcia who looked as shell shocked as Spencer felt. Not only had her dear friend been abducted and buried alive, but she had been telling secrets about her parents to Reid and not her?!

“Garcia I need you to find out who she banks with, JJ get them on the phone and see what you can do. If we can pay the ransom we will. If not, we’ll have to figure where she is.” Both women nodded, rushing back to Garcia’s office. The remaining agents started to map the location of every burial site.

“Well, at least we know she’s in Virginia.”

...

When you woke up, rolling into the leather backseat in you car, your brain felt like it was exploding. Your entire body ached, and for a minute, too focused on the pain, you didn’t realize where you were.

It hurt to sit up, to breathe, to look around, and when your brain connected every dot it hurt to think.

“I’ve been buried alive.” You said it aloud, staring at the rocks and dirt that pressed against every window. Thinking felt like walking through sludge, but why?

You’d been working on a case. Four victims in four months, all buried alive, all coming from wealthy backgrounds. Every victim varied in age, race, and sex. It appeared you were number five. There would be a call, maybe two hours after you’d been buried. It would be the only means of communication, there would be a high ransom.

None of this information could help you though. You were underground, what is around you, (Y/N)?

In your glove compartment was a small digital camera, a pen, and some napkins. In your center console was a bottle of water, a small tube of sunscreen, and some loose change. Your phone was on the floor but the battery had been taken out, and sitting in the backseat was a box with a book delicately placed inside.

A first edition copy of Sonnets from the Portuguese, the pages yellowed with age. To just anyone, it was an old book with some poems inside, but you knew that Spencer would understand the moment he opened the box. Elizabeth Barrett Browning had written the series of sonnets to her husband as they were courting. Inside was a poem you had confessed to Spencer was your absolute favorite.

“I’m kind of a cliche hopeless romantic,” you laughed, afraid to look at him for the fear that he would think you were just a silly girl. “But my favorite poem is How Do I Love Thee?”

“By Elizabeth Barrett Browning?” When you looked at him, his expression hadn’t changed from that of a simple curiosity. You relaxed a little, glad to reveal the intimate detail about yourself without backlash.

You had spent such a long time trying to bury the persona of a teenage hopeless romantic underneath the facade that you were only concerned for logic, knowledge, and psychology. You’d never understood why wanting to love and be loved made you any less intelligent.

“I’ve dedicated that poem to the man I hope to marry one day.” A small smile twitched at the edges of his lips as you looked down at your nails, picking at the dirt underneath them. Your face felt like it was on fire. Why had you told him that?

In an uncharacteristic display of affection, Spencer reached across the divide between your desks and put his hand over yours. He squeezed, his expression gentle when you met his gaze.

“He will be a lucky man.”

Tears pricked at the back of your eyes at the thought of Spencer. Would you ever see him again? Would you even be alive in twenty-four hours?

Panic seemed to take control, propelling forward. You screamed, crying hysterically as you pounded against the windows.

“Help me! I’m in here! Please!” You didn’t stop until your hands were bruised, not caring about the amount of oxygen it had taken from your already limited supply. After the panic came a numbness that spread through your body and mind. You weren’t sure how long you stayed staring into your hands, sitting cross-legged in the front seat, but when you finally came back to yourself you knew you had to truly fight.

Gathering everything you’d found in your car, you started to think of what you could do. A camera, a phone, a pen, a napkin, some change, a book, sunscreen, a bottle of water.

Think, (Y/N), think. What is around you?

“Dirt.” Then you gasped, scrambling back to the front of the car. Using the window crank, you let bits of the dirt fall inside before rolling the window back up and grabbing a handful.

Just by looking you could tell there was ash, a couple of sniffs told you there was nitrogen and sulfur. You spit into the dirt. Coal rich soil. But that was all of Virginia, that didn’t tell you anything.

Think, (Y/N), think.

A camera, a phone, a pen, a napkin, some change, a book, sunscreen, a bottle of water. A camera, a phone, a pen, a napkin, some change, a book, sunscreen, a bottle of water.

“That’s it!” Carefully, you shifted the dirt to the top of the center console. Mixing a dab of sunscreen into the dirt, you powered on the camera and grabbed the pen which, conveniently, had a laser on the end.

Just like that you knew where you were. You just had to find a way to tell the others.

...

“We can’t get the money from the bank, she has it completely closed off from anyone touching any of that money. They won’t even tell us how much she has.” JJ ran her fingers through her hair, turned in her chair to face the team that had gathered into Garcia’s office.

“It was a long shot anyways, you typically have to have your name on the bank account to be able to withdraw any money.” Hotchner looks to the rest of the agents clustered next to him, hoping that one of them would have something.

“Did we get anything from the geographic profile?” He made direct eye contact with Reid, watching as he stepped forward and nodded for Garcia to pull up a map. Red lines popped up at each of the four crime scenes, connecting to the location the victim lived. Salem to Lovingston. Stuart to Winchester. Boydton to Marion. Louisa to Yorktown.

“Each of the burial sites is two to four hours away from where the victims lived which would put (Y/N) in this general vicinity.” Using his finger, Reid circles an area on the map around Quantico. No one mentions the shaking of his hand.

“There’s nothing else to narrow down the search.” His voice cracks at the end and no one can meet his eyes. JJ flinches at the sound, tightening her hand around the edge of the desk. It isn’t until Hotch goes to send the team back to work that a chime breaks the silence in the room.

Reid scrambles for his phone, fishing it out of his pocket and flipping it open.

“Who is it from? The Gravedigger? What did he say?” Everyone crowds around him, trying to get a peak at the message.

“It’s from (Y/N).”

6 7 16 M1.4

“What the hell does that mean?” Penelope says.

...

You’re not sure how long its been, but you can feel the oxygen getting low. Your eyes feel heavy, like you’re tired, and if you move just a little too fast the world shifts and sways like you’re on a boat.

After hot wiring the phone to the car, you’d leaned against the horn and typed the shortest message you could as fast as possible. When the phone sparked and died, you weren’t even sure if the messsge had gone through. You could only hope.

For now, you’ve crawled into the back, opening the book to read through it. If you’re going to die, at least you can read your favorite poems one more time. With every sonnet comes a memory of Spencer.

“Actually,” Spencer begins, stepping forward to point out something no one had even thought of, gesturing between pictures and referencing something only he could see in his mind. You’d worked a couple of cases with the team at this point, getting to know each individual who sat at this table with you.

Spencer turned back to the group and there it was, for just a fraction of a second he looked at all the older people at the table like a little boy looking for acceptance and recognition. Looking for approval. Your heart flipped over itself and your crossed your arms, hoping this wasn’t the start of a silly crush.

You flip to the next sonnet, reading it in a whisper as another memory hits you.

“I’m scared, Spencer.” You met his eyes, heart hammering in your chest as JJ strapped a mic to your bra strap. You were going undercover in an attempt to lure out the unsub, and although you knew every single one of your team members would be ready to have your back at a moments notice, you couldn’t shake the fear.

“Why?” It wasn’t harsh the way he said it, looking at you from the desk he was sitting on as JJ stepped away and out of the room to give the two of you some privacy. You started to button up your shirt, trying to breathe away the shaking of your hands.

“I’m afraid something is going to go wrong. That I’ll say or do something that will tip him off and he’ll kill me.” Spencer stepped forward, not touching you but looking into your eyes as you smoothed your hands down your sides.

“I’ll be there before he has the chance. I’ll take that shot. But I don’t believe I’ll have to do that because I know you have the ability to do this without a hitch. You’ve got this.” He raised his eyebrows, waiting for you to be okay. He wouldn’t let them send you in if you didn’t give him the okay. You could see that in the way he positioned himself between you and the door, ready to take the brunt of any frustration in order for you to feel safe.

“Okay. I trust you.”

And you did trust him. That’s why you were saving your last trick, waiting for him to put together the last of the puzzle piece he needed in order to save you. Spencer was going to find you, you had no doubt.

You just weren’t sure if you would survive the trick or not.

...

“Six, seven, sixteen, M, one point four.” Spencer stood staring at the board where they had copied the text, going over every possible meaning he could think of.

A book? No.

A math problem? No.

Coordinates? No.

Theories were being thrown across the room at rapid fire, everyone trying to think of the meaning to the cryptic message. They were all still huddled into Garcia’s office, so the voices echoed and bounced around the room.

“She’s been down there for fourteen hours, we’ve got nothing! She’s already running out of oxygen, I’m honestly starting to doubt it means anything.” Derek passed a hand over his face, patting at his cheeks as his eyes grew heavy.

“No. She’s highly intelligent and extremely resourceful, the message means something but wh-” Reid froze. In his mind he could see the periodic table.

“What is it, Reid?” Gideon looked at him, watching as his brain started to fly.

“Garcia pull up a map of Virginia.” She did as she was told, pulling up the map with one point in Quantico.

“Six on the periodic table is carbon, seven is nitrogen, sulfur is sixteen. She’s telling us the dirt she’s in.” Quick to catch on, Garcia zoomed the map onto coal rich soil in Virginia. It wasn’t enough.

“Coal can’t be distinguished by mineral composition, it’s all the same. However, macerals are unique in that they flouresce at different levels. In this case, 1.4, which is rare. It only occurs when there are high concentrations of inertinite.” The map zoomed, Penelope’s fingers flying across the keys as Spencer spoke.

“Got her.”

...

Settling your napkin letter atop the book, you nestled the lid to the gift box back on top. You tied the bow tight before tucking the whole thing into the waistband of your jeans. There was no guarantee it would make it, there was no guarantee you would make it, but you had waited long enough.

Grabbing both ends of the wires you’d stripped, you climbed into the back, hands shaking at the thought of what you were about to do.

“I’m scared.” You said. You heard Spencer, saw him leaning against a window seal in your mind. He looked at you from behind those glasses that always reminded you of a 60’s NASA engineer. His hair was pushed back, the ends curling around his ears in a way that made you itch to loop them around a finger.

Why?

“What if I never see you again?” Tears you hadn’t even known were in your eyes spilled over onto your cheeks, dripping onto the thighs of your pants. He changed now, taking on various Spencer’s from your past.

Spencer looking up from paperwork to listen to a question, eyebrows raised and eyes wide. His lips parted ever so slightly while a piece of his hair dangled out of place on his forehead.

Spencer leaned against the bar, waving down the bartender mid laugh. His tie is loose and his shirt is untucked, his hair is adorably disheveled and his eyes are crinkled around the edges.

Spencer asleep on the jet home, his cheek cradled in one hand, his elbow propped on the armrest. His long legs are stretched out, his other hand splayed on top of his chest which rose and fell with each breath.

Spencer standing in the elevator, the surprise of someone calling his name turning into a small smile when he recognizes you racing to the doors. He reaches out to press a button before using both hands to grab onto the strap of his bag. He looks down at you as you enter with a look in his eyes you’ve never been able to identify.

And the Spencer you’ve only ever dreamed about.

His eyes fluttering open after a long night spent proving his love, the sun filtering through the window and reflecting on him in such a way that it makes you wish you could paint. The sheets are bunched around his waist, his chest is bare, and his smile is so sleepy that it swells your heart to ten times it’s normal size.

We’ll see each other soon. You’ve got this.

“Okay,” you say it with conviction, forcing your hands to stop shaking, “I trust you.” And then without a moments hesitation, tears still running down your face, you touch the wires together.

The world explodes.

“There!” Spencer races for the place he saw the puff of dirt, nearly tripping over himself as he runs faster than he’s ever run before. Everyone follows, dropping to there knees with Spencer as he starts to push at the stone and sand at his feet.

“Please be here. Please be here.” He keeps saying, his heart climbing into his throat with every passing second he doesn’t find you. That is, until his fingers brush across an arm. He shoves down into the dirt, ignoring every instinct that tells him to stay clean. It’s you, it’s your arm. Then it’s your head, your shoulders and chest, your stomach, your legs, and then it’s you.

He pulls you on top of him, laying in the dirt with you pulled so close that you could meld into one person. You groan into his ear, pushing up just a little to get a better look at the man under you.

“I forgot your coffee.” He laughs, tears spilling onto the sides of his face as he wraps his arms back around you.

...

It’s late by the time you’ve been seen by what feels like every doctor and psychologist in the state. There’s bruises on your wrists and ankles you hadn’t noticed during your time underground and a cut on the back of your head where you’d been hit in order to be knocked unconscious. Not to mention the tiny cuts all over your arms and face from crawling through a shattered windshield and up through rocks and dirt.

You stood in the conference room, arms crossed as you leaned against the table and stared. Staring back at you was your own face, tacked to the evidence board with four other victims.

“I tried going to your apartment, but nobody answered the door.” Spencer is standing in the doorway of the conference room, holding a box in his hands. You look down at it before looking back at him. Try as you might, you can’t tell if he’s opened it or not, either you aren’t a good profiler or you were just really tired.

“You left this at the hospital. I figured it was important if you brought it up with you from the car.” Moving into the room, he holds the box out for you to take from him. The ribbon you tied around it is still tightly knotted, the ends shredded from being dragged above ground. There’s specks of dirt that you reach out to brush to the floor before looking back at Spencer.

“It’s yours.” You reply, scooting back to sit on the table, watching curiously as he looks back down. Pulling the box back to his chest, he slips the ribbon off in one fluid motion. The lid is next and you watch as he reaches in to pull out what you had believed to be your last words.

It isn’t much, and there’s a possibility you don’t feel the same way, but I’ve realized that I’m hopelessly and irrevocably in love with you. I trust you with my life and my heart. I’m only scared now of losing you. -(Y/I)

He doesn’t look up at you and he doesn’t set the napkin aside, only moves his hand so the note is out of his line of sight as he sees the book inside.

“‘I love thee with all the breath, smiles, tears of all my life.’” He says it almost in a whisper before setting the note back in the box, and the box on the table.

“How long have you been waiting to give this to me?” When he looks at you, finally, there is wonder in his eyes, amazement.

“I bought the book last month, but I’ve known how I felt about you for six months.” You pick at the edge of the table, swinging your legs ever so slightly. Spencer moves in front of you, blocking your view of the evidence board.

“I don’t believe in love at first sight. Robert Sternberg developed the theory that love is made of three components; intimacy, passion, and commitment. None of which can be present during a first meeting. But I think I knew that I would love you. I knew from the very first time you walked in those doors and you bumped into me.” He reaches his hand out, only hesitating for just a moment before he takes you cheek in his hand.

“Can I kiss you?” He leaned so close that if he were just a hair closer, you lips would brush together as he spoke. You’ve already closed your eyes, every nerve lit up like the Fourth of July in anticipation.

“Yes.” You barely get it out before his lips collide with yours, you can feel every emotion from the last twenty four hours being poured into this kiss; fear, anxiety, sadness, confusion, anger, relief, love, safety.

You reach out to loop your arms around his neck, the kiss deepening as he grabs your hips to slide you closer. When he finally breaks the kiss, his chest heaving and his cheeks flushed, it takes him a minute to open his eyes.

“Why aren’t you at home?”

“I’m scared.”

“Why?” You loop the hair that curls against his neck around your index finger, licking your lips before responding.

“Because I’m afraid this will all be a dream and I’ll wake up back in that car.” Your breath hitches in your throat, the panic grabbing at your heart and lungs and barely leaving you anytime to process the plethora of things that have happened to you in the last thirty minutes.

“Come sleep at my place, that way you wake up with me by your side.” He steps away from the table, reaching out a hand for you to take. It takes you no time at all to make your decision, grabbing his hand and sliding off the table.

“Okay, I trust you.”

[ijustwant2write]

Different Worlds-Fred Weasley x Muggle! Reader

(GIF credit to @avocadosalad2​)

Masterlist

Prompts List

Requested by anonymous: 'Could you do a Fred Weasley after the war imagine (where he doesn’t die) and he falls in love with a muggle'

Summary: (Y/N) may be a muggle, but she was introduced to the hidden magical world once she realised her best friend was a witch. Years later, after they have both graduated, she finds herself drawn towards the magic, as well as a particular person.

Characters: Fred Weasley x Reader, George Weasley x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Lots and lots of fluff

(A/N: Beatrice is a made up character)

                                        *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

As I stirred the milk into the mug of tea, I continued listening to Beatrice babble on about the rude man on the train, who had insisted that she was sat in his seat, when she had clearly reserved it. I smiled, picking up the mugs and heading back into the living room, handing one to her. She blew on it, testing how hot it was before taking a tiny sip.

“But anyway, enough about twats in London.” Bea waved her hand.“I’ve got some exciting news!”

“Yeah? What is it?” I put down my own mug, ready to squeal and jump about with her.

“You know that shop I had my eye on?”

“The one in um...oh what’s it called? Diagonal street?”

She laughed.“Diagon Alley.”

“Ah, right.”

“Anyway, I went for another viewing the other week, and I got a letter through this morning to say that it is now mine!”

I grabbed her hands, squeezing them.“That’s fantastic! Oh my god, you’ve been wanting your own shop since we were kids!”

“I know! I’ve already had new flooring put down, it’s just been painted too. Now all that’s left is to organise how I want the furniture and to put stock out on display.”

Bea had always loved her fashion when she was younger. She would always complain about how basic her uniform was (even pointing out how boring muggle uniform was as well), and always added different accessories or made her own clothes. This hobby carried on, she became a great seamstress (the magic probably helped), knowing that this was something she wanted to do. Now she was opening a clothes shop that would also sell things like accessories, notebooks, pens etc. 

“I’m so happy for you.” I hugged her.

“You know, I am going to need help moving in...”

“Wait, you want me to come with you?”

Bea nodded.

“Isn’t that illegal?”

“No, don’t be silly! You’re with me, and you’re only visiting. Plus you’ve known about all of this since we were twelve. I haven’t used the Obliviate spell on you, and I’m still not in trouble.”

“Sorry, you haven’t what?”

“Don’t worry about it. So, you want to accompany me to little old Diagon Alley?”

A couple of days later, Beatrice visited me again, leading me out of my little flat and onto the tube. We practically had to go to the other side of London, making me feel bad when she visited me all those times. When we finally got off, and after walking for another ten minutes, we stood in front of an abandoned building stuck between a record and book shop. Glancing at Bea, who was staring at the uninviting building, I wondered what I had got myself into.

“Uh, Bea, we’re not going in there are we?” I asked as she dragged me towards it.

“Just trust me.”

She pushed open the door, which made a worrying creaking noise, and I was scared that if we shut it too hard, the whole place would collapse. However, instead of a dusty room with broken floor boards and bending beams, we seemed to be in a pub. There were a few people already in here, sat at various tables with their drinks. A worker walked past, waving their hand which made some scattered chairs tuck underneath the table. My eyes widened as I watched, realising that I had stepped into a different world. Beatrice laughing at me brought me back into reality as she held onto my hand again. 

“Alright Tom?” She called out to the bartender.

“Ah, here once again Beatrice? Oh, this the muggle you were on about?” he replied as he leaned against the bar.

“Yep, this is she. I’m taking her to the shop, which I now own!”

“Ah, congratulations! Head on back then.”

They said their goodbyes and I was being steered away again, this time outside. There was a wall blocking us, and to anyone else it would be a dead end, but I knew something was about to happen. Bea revealed her wand, tapping it around a part of the wall where bricks were missing. Stepping back, my eyes widened as the bricks started moving, separating to reveal a busy street. 

“Oh, this is just too precious. Wish I had captured the moment.” Bea said.

I must have stuck out like a sore thumb; I couldn’t shut my mouth, checking out everything around me, eyebrows furrowing as my mind tried to comprehend how this was possible. Men and women passed me in long robes, some sporting the stereotypical witches hats. There were broomsticks, animals such as owls and cats, things floating by me. My brain was well and truly frazzled. 

As we came to Bea’s new shop, I was still in awe, my eyes landing on a bright orange shop, with an animatronic of a man who was putting on a top hat. I could see lots of younger children in there. Explosions of light appeared, objects were flying around, I could hear the laughter across the street.   

“Kind of hard to miss right?” Bea giggled as she unlocked the shop. 

“Yeah. Looks amazing in there.”

“That’s Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes. I went to school with the guys who own it. Onto more important matters, after you.”

I walked into the shop, grinning as I looked around. It wasn't huge, but it had a vintage look to it; the floor was a dark wood, and the walls were painted a lighter cream colour to contrast it. Currently it was empty, in one corner were mannequins, display tables and railings to hang the clothes on.

"I've got everything mapped out, I just need to move bits around." Bea said.

"It's going to look great when it's finished. I bet you're so excited to open."

"Are you OK by the way? I just realised how much this must all be."

"I love it here! I'm surrounded by magic, what more could I want?"

We spent the next few hours moving the furniture around, trying out new things to see what worked, where it would be best to display the stock. People passed by the window in large groups, but now there were less, the sun was going down, and shop owners were starting to close up. We followed suit, putting everything back in the corner before leaving the shop.

"Hello neighbour." a man called out across the street.

We turned around, seeing a tall man in a suit outside of the shop I noticed upon arrival.

"Oh, I forgot I would be seeing you every day." Bea groaned, obviously joking.

"You don't have to lie to me, we're one of the reasons you bought the place."

Bea began walking towards him, I followed behind."Fred, this is (Y/N). She's a friend of mine."

"Nice to meet you." he smiled.

"You too." I replied, wishing I didn't sound so quiet.

"Already got your staff sorted then?"

"(Y/N)'s an old friend of mine. I had to show her the shop. And Diagon Alley."

Fred caught on, realising that I wasn't a witch."Oh, right. Welcome to the other side."

"Thanks. It's been amazing so far."

“Well, it couldn’t have been that good, I didn’t see you in our shop today.”

“He’s so humble, isn’t he?” Bea rolled her eyes.“Well, that’s just another reason for her to come tomorrow, isn’t it?”

“I look forward to seeing you then.” Fred casually winked before saying goodbye to us both, realising his name was being called from the shop. 

“OK, what just happened?” I gasped, feeling extremely flushed.

“Those Weasley boys are natural flirts. But that was very interesting.”

“There’s more of them?!”

Bea just shook her head, looping her arms through mine as she lead me away from the shop, telling (not asking) me to return with her again tomorrow. I didn’t hesitate to say yes. 

With Bea unaware, I had immediately gone to choose an outfit for the next day as soon as I made it home. I just wanted to look a little more presentable, it definitely wasn’t because I wanted to present myself well in front of anyone. Once I had decided on a casual outfit, though something that still showed I had put some effort in, I settled down for the night, lying on the sofa with my dinner. Even with the TV on in the background, I couldn’t concentrate on the programme. It felt strange to be back in my world, not surrounded by magic. I was half expecting objects in my flat to start moving by themselves. 

Bea had told me about her being a witch when she received her letter to Hogwarts. I wasn’t supposed to know, especially at a young age, but Beatrice had been so scared to lose our friendship. Her parents were muggles, so where the magic came from was a mystery. I missed her extremely, hating that Hogwarts was a boarding school. But once Bea was old enough to use magic outside of school, she graced me with all the spells she learnt, it was so enchanting to watch. Bea had returned to the muggle world for a few years once she finished her education, but now that her dream of owning a shop was coming true, she wouldn’t be living near me anymore; that’s what was really weighed on my mind.

Bea and I returned to her shop the next morning. I didn’t mention anything of my thoughts from the night before, not wanting to ruin the day. Seeing the other shop owners setting up for the day set a different atmosphere, some who were outside greeted us along the way. Bea got out her keys, but hesitated.

“What’s wrong?” I asked, suddenly worried.

“Nothing. I just think we should pay my fellow businessmen a visit.” she said, a wide smile on her face.

“No, cause you’ll just embarrass me!” I whined.

“No I won’t. Honestly, you need to see their shop, it’s bizarre.”

I knew she had a scheme planned, but part of me wanted to go along with it. As we approached, I glanced at my reflection in the window, tucking away any strands of hair that had fallen out of my up-do. Before we could knock on the door, Fred appeared, swinging it wide open.

“Ah, our most loyal customers are here.” He grinned letting us in.

“Good morning George.” Bea waltzed in.

Oh, this was his twin. 

“Fred has told me all about you, (Y/N), right?” George extended his hand.

I shook it as I nodded.“Yes, Sorry, I forgot you there were two of you for a moment.”

“Double trouble is what they are.” Bea mumbled.

“Welcome to Weasley’s Wizard Wheezes!” he exclaimed, presenting grandly with his arm. 

Cautiously walking around, I ducked out of the way as a Frisbee flew past me, smiling at what looked like mini fireworks before scrunching my nose up at a box labelled ‘Puking Pastels’. I explored everywhere, going upstairs to search further. The amount of jokes and prank items they had seemed endless. Looking over the railing, I saw Bea chatting away to George. It made me wonder where Fred was, but that question was soon answered.

“Do you come here often?” Fred slid up to me, leaning beside me on the railing.

I chuckled.“Funnily enough, this is my first time here. And did you really just use that line on me?”

“Works every time.” he winked, causing me to look away as I blushed. 

“This shop is amazing Fred.” I sighed in content.“Are those really Love Potions down there?”

“Ah, caught your eye?”

“I mean, how could it not? Doesn’t everyone want a love potion to make their lives so much easier?”

“It’s not permanent. Besides, falling in love is the fun part.”

I didn’t question if he had been in love. It was too soon to be asking things such as that. 

Fred continued.“Can’t believe Bea waited so long to bring you here. She talks about you all the time.”

“She does?”

“Yep. I probably know more about you than you think.”

My eyes widened jokingly.“I don’t know if that’s good or not.”

“It’s very good, trust me.”

“I don’t think I would ever want to leave now. Couldn’t stop smiling when I was home.”

Fred opened his mouth to say something else, but was interrupted by Bea calling up to us.“Come on you two, it’s my turn now.”

Not knowing what she meant, we headed downstairs, realising that Bea wanted to show the twins her shop. Making our way across the road, Fred and I walked behind the others as they continued talking, even as Bea unlocked the shop. 

“I mean, you’ve still got quite a bit of work to do Bea.” George joked as they walked around the empty space.

“I know that. But that’s why I have (Y/N) here to help me.” She smiled at me.

“It’s a good space. You got everything planned?” Fred asked.

“Yeah, we moved the furniture around a few times yesterday, so I’ve got options. And of course I had my wonderful assistant to help.”

“She didn’t even buy me a drink after.” I said.

“I can pay you.”

“What? Don’t be silly.”

“No, I’m serious. Because I need to know if I have to put you on the payroll.”

“Bea, what are you saying?”

She grinned but I could see she was nervous.“How would you like to work here with me?”

My mouth dropped wide open, eyes bulging out of my head. I was shocked, speechless even. Out of the corner of my eye I saw George nudge his brother, smirking at him as Fred looked annoyed.

“Oh, this is making me anxious.” Bea whispered, gripping her hands together despite her happy expression.

“You really want me to work here? But where would I live?”

“With me obviously!”

“Is that allowed?”

“Yes, I checked. Oh (Y/N) please, you always say you’re not happy with your job and that you want to live somewhere nicer.”

“I’ve never said that.”

“OK, but I can tell you’re not entirely happy.”

I took a deep breath as I smiled.“Bea, I would love to work here.” She squealed, running towards me and throwing out her arms, embracing me tightly. I squeezed her back, feeling very emotional. Bea wanted me here. She trusted me to live in this world of hers, she wanted to share her dream with me.

“Looks like we’ll be seeing a lot more of each other.” George said as Bea and I ended the hug.

“Looks like.” I wiped my eyes, hoping I didn’t look like a sap for crying.

“Right,” Bea put her hands on her hips,“well, we best get on with the day. Catch you boys later?” 

They nodded, already making their way out. Bea smiled at me one last time, disappearing into the backroom. As I looked around the space, I noticed Fred still by the door, hesitating to walk out.

“You alright there Fred?” I asked, approaching him.

“Yeah...um,” he closed the door, coming inside again,“so,now that you’re living here, once you’re settled that is....do you fancy going out sometime?”

I was taken back, flustered which caused me to stutter.“Uh, y-yeah, I-I would love to!”

He nodded, pleased with the answer.“Good, it’s a date then.”

I awkwardly waved as he left, watching him enter his own shop. He turned around, seeing me still looking, sending yet another wink my way. He already knew how to embarrass me. Feeling my heart flutter, I slowly turned around, only to see Bea standing there.

“Oh, I am so good at playing Cupid.”

[planetarywho]

Day 6 (Share Your Pride)

So, the beauty of Tumblr is that no one I know knows I'm here, so tagging my chosen family is impossible. Still, here goes:

❤ Everyone still thinks you're my much better looking brother when we go out, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Thanks for a decade of snarky comments and talking for so long we forget about the world.

🧡 Being able to call you my best friend is still surreal. We seemed so different; you were confident and unapologetic, and I tried to fade into the background. Thanks for deciding the first time we saw each other you'd befriend me, for dragging me to so many cool places I wasn't brave enough to go alone, for staying by my side all these years. Also, I want my books back.

💛 We are actually related, but even if we weren't you would still be family. I loved you as the little sister I never had from the moment I saw you jumping around and telling a story way too excitedly. Keep showing the world your talent.

💚 Well, after a millennia bringing evil to the world, we still find time to lounge around and be gay stereotypes together. If that isn't family, I don't know what is... You're the best elder being one can ever have ice cream with. And you have the best garden.

💙 Disclaimer Boy! My company for singing in the middle of the street, discussing GM problems, and pretending to study French! You are the best token straight friend I could ever wish for. Thanks for sharing my obsession for Modern Age maps, even if you prefer the boring earth instead of the stars. We gotta finish designing that game someday, it's getting ridiculous.

💜 And how could I forget this stubborn druid? Arguing with you is both frustrating and incredibly fun. Thank you for taking care of me when I'm too stressed out to notice I'm not doing so. You know I'm here, doesn't matter what you need. And yes, even incredibly boring Architecture lectures are included. That's how much I love you.

🤍 We're not really friends anymore. We couldn't be, after what happened. But I still love you, and cherish the memories of our years together. The letters, the messages, the gifts, the pictures: I keep every single memento. I miss who we were, the feeling of knowing someone so well you become a part of each other. I hope you're happy, and well.

🖤 It wasn't life that separated us, but death. Most people didn't realise how close we were, and then looked confused when we started the longest inner jokes. You were pure joy, even in the end. No one else could pull of your terrible cosplays, understood the importance of good speaking habits, or knew how to find rehearsal spots anywhere. Sometimes I forget you're gone, and am about to send you a cool new song, or comment about a book, when reality hits me all over again. I love you, and I miss you more than it's possible to put into words.

[steve0discusses]

S5 Ep 15 Pt 1: The Gang Gets Lost in India

Ah, back to Yugioh classic. Sort of. We’re going into the second filler arc before Bakura, which I have been told is kind of nonsense. And youknow what, from the first scene--this is the first scene by the way--yeah I can see the nonsense.

We got Yami cosplaying as the Chrysler building, we got Yugi saying WTFWTF, we got...this thing?

This thing tells us “Join my game, Yugi!” and then the demon just kinda bounces.

K, bye, I guess.

(read more under the cut)

Waking up from this nightmare, Yugi reveals that he has outgrown his good pajamas. Or maybe he just overused them like I did to my favorite pajamas during quarantine (which, not gonna lie, I hand sewed my favorite pajama pants back together 2 or 3 times like they were the Velveteen Rabbit. Quarantine pajamas and me were like best buds for a year there.)

RIP Yugi’s good pajamas.

It’s fine. I’m fine.

I can get used to Yugi in his normal ass old man pajamas without any cute stars on them. I can accept this. He’s getting older. So much older that for a second I thought he was learning Hebrew, by the looks of his books on his counter. I thought...wow, is Yugi actually attempting to learn a language spoken around the time of ancient Egyptians???

But uh...I went a searching and unfortunately that’s not Hebrew, and if that is a language, I don’t know what it is. Pretty sure it’s just random marks because this show has to be translated in so many languages. Man. For a second there that looked like really sneaky world building, but nah, Yugi is still kind of a dumbass who has yet to attend a solid year of school.

Also, I got to take in this mustard yellow as if I’ve seen it for the first time.

It has strong building blocks energy. It’s...so much yellow and it’s extremely the vibe of that one set of animal crossing decorations that I have because it’s a very common recipe, but, can’t figure out for the life of me how to fit into any room.

What am I supposed to do with these, Nintendo? Other than recreate Yugi’s Muto’s haunted game store/house?

Like I live in the Bay area and we have wild painted houses so you can see them through the fog (back when we...still had fog, RIP California) --but this is a little much. This is such strong Protagonist energy but as a house.

Also, I’ve don’t think I’ve brought this up before, but like...Yugi is loaded, right? Like he’s way too good and humble to ever say he’s loaded, and they sort of make it seem like he’s not (when compared to Seto Kaiba) but damn, this location of his real estate sure is something. That and Grandpa’s tiny shop seems to run on a constant deficit and his family just doesn’t care.

We flash back a bit to Gramps sneaking out, and Yugi is like “oh great, my only Father figure I ever talk about is getting a backpack together and just...leaving without any notice, huh? Without telling me you were going to go? Didn’t think that would maybe be a little off putting?“ and Gramps is like “Yes?”

Like Gramps nearly died going to an amusement park a few episodes back so I can see why Yugi is a little bit concerned.

Down the street at a little town lottery, Joey is getting further into gambling (I don’t know what those little street lotteries are called, it’s in a lot of anime--but kinda looks like mom lotteries for moms.)

I’m not sure why India is on Joey Wheeler’s bucket list, seems a little random, but he went to Pegasus’ country, after all and that’s barely even a country.

Joey going nuts on a lottery machine instead of going to school was pretty peak filler, so I’m not really minding this stuff so far.

And then, just to spook me, check this out:

I can’t believe they even let them back into a classroom. In my nerd school, if you missed one too many days, you were sent to the bad schools to be someone else’s problem. But in Yugi’s case...that either IS his school or...Yugi is failing International School, which is just a thing he’s allowed to do, because, as I said before, this kid has got to be loaded. Even Seto Kaiba was like “I’m not spending money on this school anymore. That outfit is like 50 bucks a jacket.”

Youknow, I have seen all the other characters knock on Tea’s choice of cute ass monsters for the last 5 seasons, and she has never once changed them out. She is holding onto this scary seraphim thing with the many wings like every child with their first Pidgey. She does not care.

Also how is this thing cute?

like the front of this orb has a face with hearts on it but like...it is kind of remarkable what Yugioh decides is cute. Magma golem: not cute. this thing? This thing that looks like it’s a chibi version of the last chapters of the bible and will sound the trumpets of the second coming? So cuuuuute.

Tristan used to be the Janitor/hall monitor/square archetype. Like hell he can walk around with that 00′s R+B soundtrack.

Joey appears in order to get us the hell out of school, and the art team retires this school background for the rest of what I assume is this entire series.

Goodbye school. Maybe you’ll come back with Bakura. Which would be weird, since rumor is that arc takes place in ancient Egypt.

On their walk home, Tea lets out in an inner monologue that no one could hear that after 5 straight seasons of his BS, she’s sick and tired of Pharaoh being the center of attention all the time and she needs a freakin break.

TBH, as she was thinking in her head like “Pharoah is just so freakin much” Yugi switched over to Pharaoh and was like “WHATS UP TEA, THINKING ABOUT ME??” and I thought for a split second maybe he read her mind with his Pharaoh powers.

And like...maybe he did? Seems like a thing he can just do but chooses not to tell anyone about. I mean would you tell anyone? I wouldn’t.

So, unlike Miho in Season Zero, who at least had the decency to try to take her Mother to Australia, Joey Wheeler has wisely decided that the 3 other ticket holders will not be the 3 other members of his immediate family. That would have been the most awkward trip between Serenity, his mother he hasn’t really spoken to in 7 years, and his absent father who was written out of the series for being a raging alcoholic. They would have not even made it to the plane.

Instead he’s gonna take the ghost in Yugi’s head and call that an adult (two tickets in one, really). It’s honestly not that bad of a plan, since his only other father figure, Grandpa, is MIA, and his only other, other father figure, Roland, charges like 300 dollars an hour and wants stock options and health insurance.

And honestly they should have taken Roland because he’s one of their best plane guys.

So they take the smallest little Amelia Earheart plane in the world, going from Japan to (checks map) India...which 2 times the distance this plane can go and it crashes...which is exactly what would happen if you took a teeny tiny plane over the Himalayan mountains without refueling that thing.

We call this a magical incident later in the episode, but this is just basic math.

So, fun fact, (and probably why I discuss planes so often on this blog) two of my Grandfathers were pilots (well, three, since my grandmother remarried another pilot), which sounds like a crazy coincidence until you recall that their generation was in WW2 and we just shoved children in planes for 20 years and called that normal.

Anyway, to save on travel costs, my engineer Grandfather built his own plane out of junkyard parts, which, as you can imagine, is a living nightmare, and it was held together by like duct tape and gasoline (which at one time used to be cheap). Tempted God every day that Howls Moving Castle touched the sky.

And while I only know it from photos since I wasn’t exactly born yet, it looked exactly like this plane. So looking at this, all I can think is...yeah...that’s what you get for flying to India in a tin can car. To this day I cannot trust any plane of this size.

So, they climb out of their wreckage virtually unscathed and into familiar Californian territory.

At least Joey thought about bringing a tent.

It’s interesting how our cast has become so accustomed to this that they’re not even all that shell shocked. It’s just another day in the life.

So next time we shall find out what India has in store for us. Or if we’re even in India...because again...feels a lot like this BG team doesn’t do any research into their landscapes and every place feels a whole lot of the same. But...at least they didn’t put any Arizonan mesas in India.

[samwisethewitch]

What paganism is not

In my last post, I talked about what makes a person or a religion pagan. In this post, I’d like to clear up some common misconceptions about paganism. Some of these may seem like common sense, but I promise all of these are things people have said to my face after finding out that I identify as pagan.

So, for the record, paganism is NOT…

… a Christian heresy. As I mentioned in my last post, the traditions that modern paganism draws inspiration from predate Christianity — some of them by several thousands of years. Paganism is older than Judaism, the oldest Abrahamic religion, and may even predate the concept of monotheism. (Zoroastrianism, the first monotheistic religion, is believed to have originated about 4,000 years ago. Sumer and Egypt, two of the first civilizations, had established “pagan” religions about 6,500 and 5,000 years ago, respectively.)

To be a heretic, a person must 1.) believe in Christian dogma, and 2.) knowingly violate that dogma. Someone who is not Christian, practicing a religion that predates Christianity, cannot be a heretic.

… dark or scary. When some people hear the word “pagan,” their mind immediately goes to dark-robed cultists sacrificing babies in the woods. This idea dates back to the Satanic Panic of the 1980s, when a wave of religious and moral panic swept the United States. Some of the things targeted as threats to Christian values were: Dungeons & Dragons, metal music, and yes, paganism. (Ironically, all things I absolutely love. Take from that what you will.) The misconceptions that began in the 1980s unfortunately still haunt modern pagan communities.

I hope we can all agree that occasionally rocking out and/or playing D&D does not make someone a bad person. Neither does being pagan.

In reality, most pagans are pretty chill people, and most pagan religions have some sort of code of ethics that forbids doing unnecessary harm to others. You’re much more likely to find pagans holding a healing circle in someone’s living room than performing dark rites under a blood moon.

That’s not to say all pagans are perfect, or that bad people can’t be pagan. Every group has a few bad apples, but the actions of these individuals does not reflect the attitudes or practices of the group as a whole.

… all about sex. Another negative stereotype is that pagans are obsessed with sex and/or perform deviant sex acts are part of their religious rituals. This misconception has unfortunately resurfaced in the last few years with the rise of far-right conspiracies like the Q-anon theory. (Which I hope I don’t have to tell you is bullshit.)

While it is true that pagans are much more open about sex than, say, Christians, most pagans see sex as just a normal part of human life. Even the groups of pagans who believe sex is sacred tend to keep it behind closed doors. Some Wiccan covens do include a ritual representation of the sexual union of God and goddess in their rituals, but it’s nothing more explicit than a knife being lowered into a chalice.

Pagans aren’t more or less obsessed with sex than any other group of people, but they are generally more accepting of it. Because sex has no negative moral implications in pagan faiths, practitioners may feel more comfortable or confident in their sex lives than those who believe sex is sinful. In my mind, that’s a good thing.

… a system without ethics. Some people are attracted to paganism because they come from a strict religious background and believe that pagans can do whatever they want without consequences. This misconception can lead to frustration when they learn that pagan faiths, like all religions, have rules.

As previously mentioned, most pagans have a clearly defined moral code. It may be as simple as “harm none” or a complex system of rules and rituals. Either way, the point is that pagans follow rules, even if they may not be exactly the same rules as other religions.

… only for hippies. On the opposite side of the pop culture spectrum from the “scary cultist” stereotype is the stereotype of pagans are tree-hugging hippies. While it is true that pagans tend to care deeply about the environment, to say that all pagans are hippies would be an overstatement. There certainly are pagans who fit this stereotype, but for the most part pagans look just like everyone else. Which is to say, you can’t tell their religion just by looking at them.

… New Age. Paganism and New Age spirituality are two different things that often get confused or conflated in pop culture. The two movements are actually quite different, although some pagans may also be involved in New Age practices.

Paganism is based on pre-Christian religions from Europe and North Africa. New Age spirituality was largely inspired by alternative spiritual movements of the 19th century, such as the New Thought movement, the Theosophical Society, and spiritualism. Core New Age principles include the Law of Attraction, the belief that all humans are spiritual beings, and the idea of universal life energy.

Some of these ideas are also present in some (but not all) pagan religions, but pagans and New Agers tend to take very different approaches to spirituality even when they have similar beliefs. I like to think of it this way: pagans take a “bottom up” approach, while New Agers take a “top down” approach. For pagans, spirituality is built on daily practices, rituals, and connections with the world and the people around us. New Agers have a much more cosmic mindset and tend to view everything through the lens of their soul’s journey. (Hence the popular New Age saying, “You are not a human being having a spiritual experience. You are a spiritual being having a human experience.”)

Neither of these approaches is necessarily better than the other, but they speak to different personalities and different spiritual needs. In practice, they look very different.

If you’re interested in New Age spirituality, a series on paganism may not be of much help to you. Instead, you may want to look into books by authors like Deepak Chopra and Louise Hay.

… a way to rebel against your conservative family. In the 1990s and early 2000s, an author called Silver Ravenwolf made her name by publishing books about neopaganism marketed to teen girls. These books are extremely controversial among pagans, even today. Ravenwolf’s boooks are unfairly harsh (not to mention factually incorrect) in their depiction of Christianity, encourage readers to lie and manipulate people, and contain a lot of revisionist history. They also put paganism and witchcraft on the map as the hot new way to stick it to your parents.

I’m not saying you can’t be pagan if you’re a teenager or if you still live with your parents. (Hell, I was a teenager living at home when I first started reading about paganism.) What I am saying is that you should take an honest look at your motivations in practicing paganism. Are you genuinely attracted to pagan beliefs and values, or are you attracted to the mystery/edginess associated with it? If it’s the latter, there are lots of ways to explore the dark side without appropriating someone else’s religion.

… a trend or a phase. This is a new development that, honestly, I think is 90% Instagram’s fault. Certain influencers just make being pagan look so good. Capitalism has fully latched onto the pagan aesthetic, and you’ll find no shortage of retailers selling expensive knick-knacks for your altar.

For the record, I think experimentation is healthy. After all, the only way to find out if a religion works for you is to try it out for a while. But again, I think this comes down to intention. If you’re genuinely attracted to what pagan religions have to offer, then go for it. But if you’re more interested in posting cool photos of your altar setup, you don’t need to be pagan to do so.

[zalrb]

tv rewatch: gg edition, ep. 10

“Hey, so has Blair mentioned who’s escorting her?” Nate, you cannot be serious.

“Every time I see her, she’s lighter, she’s happier, she’s less ... ... Blair.” Nate, sit down.

“With my dad in rehab, the pressure is off and I can see Blair clearly” but the pressure wasn’t on for your entire relationship, Nate. Shut up.

“Jenny, what are you even doing here?” Serena, that sounds way more hostile than you intended.

“Oh, hello, mother.” LOL Lily. She is SO unsung.

“Isn’t she’s great?” “She’s ... she’s great, she’s something.” LOL READ BODY LANGUAGE, SERENA.

This Chair makeout is one of my favourites just because in the bloopers, they kept going and going until someone was finally like, “You take your own cue!” and Leighton was like OH!

“And the prince, you know, he’s a great dancer and all.” Lmao, Nate, shut up.

Cece’s manipulation is kind of low stakes tbh, like she uses her illness just to get Serena to do cotillion? 

Blair in jeans! 

Blair texting Chuck while with Nate is pretty cute. Ah, I always get in my Chair feels in the first two seasons.

“Allison, I didn’t expect to see you ... here.” LILY’S SHADE.

Dan in his striped shirt.

His hair is steadily becoming less offensive.

LOL Sebastian Stan in this is always funny now.

“Where were you?” “Where wasn’t he? Gossip Girl even had a designated Carter map on Spotted.” Shouldn’t  you know this, Dan, since, you know, you’re gossip girl?

“I also went pheasant hunting with the sheik while I was there.” I thought you disowned your parents and didn’t have their money?

Jenny’s dress is awful.

“Then you are grounded for a week” “WHAT???” Lol OK, Jenny.

I know I keep saying it but kdramas do class divides so much better. Cece’s speech is too pointed.

“I’ll tell you what’s going on, I just became your escort to the ball.” Lmao  I feel like Dan and Lily are the same person.

“I would just like to say how proud I am of Miss Waldorf and her commitment to Mr. Archibald EVEN THOUGH HE RUINED HER 17TH BIRTHDAY...” this is the most teen thing Chuck has ever done.

I LOVE HOW OLD THE PHONES ARE and they were hot shit back then.

Serena does not look incredible, Dan.

“Serena, that’s what I’m trying to tell you, that woman is the most manipulative person I’ve ever met.” Except for me BECAUSE I’M GOSSIP GIRL.

OK but honestly, what Cece is doing is bullying not manipulation, it’s too direct for it to be manipulation. Telling Lily about that she’s sick so Serena can go to cotillion is manipulative, yes, but the rest of it is just straight up intimidation tactics, she’s using her money as a weapon. They could’ve also gone further with the Lily thing by telling Lily that this is what she wants but she doesn’t want Serena to know that she’s sick so Lily puts her foot down about cotillion and says she has to go or else, thereby making Lily the villain while she remains the cool, free-spirited grandmother because when that DOES happen, it’s too late. It should be an ongoing thing.

“She makes your mother look like Gandhi.” “That’s my grandmother you’re talking about.” LMAO LILY GETS NO LOVE.

“Let’s get Carter on the phone.”

This scene could’ve been better. Dan’s delivery of this revelation was pretty bad because his sarcasm took precedence that he didn’t try to speak to Serena delicately and Serena wasn’t asking the right questions. Dan is like “she offered to buy my dad off so I wouldn’t come tonight” and she’s just like “Nope.” Dan could be like, why would I lie? and Serena could talk about how there could be a mistake, she could call out Dan’s tone and then he leaves and when Cece comes instead of her automatically being like, k time for Carter, she could milk the grandmother routine and say how she’d never do such a thing, she doesn’t understand why he’d lie about this etc. Like manipulation takes a lot more subtlety than what’s going on. This is all way too direct.

Lmao Nate is so unbearable this episode.

“Make it stop, you sound like me.” LMAO, BLAIR.

Chuck is more manipulative than Cece.

Cece does look like she’s about to go catatonic after that “beds as many billionaires as she can” line though. Well done.

How did TVD do a better ball scene than GG?

I also prefer The O.C.’s cotillion. Lmao because it actually tried to look like a legit cotillion.

But The Pierces in the background is pretty atmospheric even though it’s also absolutely ridiculous that they’re performing at a debutante ball.

“SHE’S MY GIRLFRIEND.” oh, nate.

“And you said if I did this I could be myself but you don’t really want that do you?” “That’s not entirely true.” I DIED. LILY.

“All you care about when people look at me is what they think of you” but the thing is I need to see this? Like I need to see Lily being directly affected by Serena’s choices, see how society looks at her and their family for this to be more than dialogue.

I totally forgot that Serena had already slept with Carter.

“When I was your age, I would’ve been lucky to find a guy like you. And I kind of did.” That’s his father, Lily.

Also really, what was Rufus like in the past then? Like what kind of rockstar was he?

Oh Chuck, just can’t win.

Serena turning around to see Dan at cotillion is pretty sweet, ngl.

The problem with this cotillion plot line is that it’s too small. Like if this is about legacy and if this is actually about introducing Serena to society then we need to see what cotillion actually means in this world, we need to see how big of a deal it is, one reporter showing up to interview Blair doesn’t mean anything. We need to see Lily’s and Cece’s peers gossip and talk. Also if this is all about how Cece’s values are old-fashioned then either cotillion needs to be the traditional white dress, white gloves ball

or it’s what we see and Cece complains about how modern/contemporary it’s getting.

Chuck is so Chuck. “Hey! Have you seen Blair Waldorf?” reminds me of when I went up to an acquaintance and I didn’t say hi I just asked where my friend was, I was like “Where’s Scott?” and from then on he - the acquaintance - just called me “Where’s Scott?”

Chuck looks genuinely heartbroken at seeing Blair and Nate. *sigh* too bad they get absolutely terrible.

Nate’s grin is so cringe, lol.

Rufly angst! “I never should’ve let you let me go.” DE could never.

APOLOGIZE, YASSSSSSSSSSSSS. SONG IS STILL A BOP DON’T @ ME.

I’m holding on your rope got me ten feet off the grouuuuuuuuuuuuund.

I know this is a Derena moment but what makes it for me is Serena looking at Lily to see if she can go with him and Lily saying yes. It’s a Serena/Lily moment for me.

Oh Blair, Nate doesn’t deserve sex with you.

Chuck, leaving the city, you are so DRAMATIC.

xoxo, zalrb.

[tigerkirby215]

5e Ezreal, the Prodigal Explorer build (League of Legends)

(Artwork by Suke “hugehugesword” Su. Made for Riot Games.)

In my constant and continued effort to deny Ezreal’s existence I finally had to get around to building him. Again it’s not that I don’t like him... I mean I don’t. But I kinda forgot what I was going to build him as. Lol.

Dorans & Dragons also made a build for Ezreal back in like... early 2020. Christ that’s before the world went to shit, ain’t it? Well regardless they also made their build before Tasha’s Cauldron came out and I think I can make a build that is different enough to warrant my build existing alongside theirs.

In short: this is an elaborate excuse for me to make another Artificer build.

GOALS

Gawk at this! - We need many a glowing projectile to spam at foes before blowing them up. Ezreal isn’t the type to just autoattack.

I always know a shortcut - Flash on a 15 second cooldown is nice. We’ll need to be able to blink around constantly throughout the entire fight.

Time to show 'em who's best - Nothing’s more dangerous than a well-placed Trueshot Barrage sniping through the entire enemy team.

RACE

Back to good ol’ Variant Human. As a Variant Human you can increase two of your ability scores by 1: increase your Intelligence and your Charisma, to be the hot smart twink you are. You also learn a Language of your choice along with a Skill of choice. You spent plenty of time studying The Void so Abyssal would make sense as a language, and for your skill Perception would help you spot traps or incoming ganks... as long as you remember to ward.

For your feat we’re going to be grabbing Arcane Shift as fast as possible with Fey Touched so you can start Flashing. (Not like that!) You can increase your Intelligence score by 1 and also learn the Misty Step spell. You can also add a Divination or Enchantment spell to your list and a little Heroism never hurt anyone. You can cast both of these spells once without spending a spell slot, and can then spend spell slots on them after the fact.

ABILITY SCORES

15; INTELLIGENCE - Archeology is a lot of history and facts... If you do it the boring way, that is!

14; DEXTERITY - Repeat it after me: “something something Medium armor.”

13; CHARISMA - You’re a pretty boy twink who got at least two girls on the Rift to fall for you.

12; WISDOM - Traveling through ancient temples and traps takes a degree of common sense. Not necessarily common sense you have, but a bit of boost never hurt.

10; CONSTITUTION - You’re an ADC, which means you’re squishy.

8; STRENGTH - Twink.

Feel free to swap Constitution around with another stat for better health but worse roleplay.

BACKGROUND

“Archaeologist” is just the nice way of saying Tomb Raider, which is the mean way of saying Adventurer! You get proficiency with History and Survival (hey you’ve gotta tough it out in the desert sometimes!) You also get proficiency in a language of your choice (I went for Dwarvish because Dwarves seem to have built most ruins) and proficiency in either Navigator’s Tools or Cartographer’s Tools... “Who needs a map?”

You spent enough time in ruins to pick up some Historical Knowledge on ancient dungeons and temples to know who made them. And if you find anything that belongs in a museum you know how much it’s worth to the museum!

(Artwork by Sangsoo Jeong. Made for Riot Games.)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - ARTIFICER 1

Starting off as Artificer to “borrow” a few inventions. But also because you get training in Arcana to know your magical artifacts, Investigation to find said magical artifacts, and Calligrapher’s Tools to slay Ascended and Darkin alike in one blow. You also get Magical Tinkering to wave that gauntlet of yours around on some Tiny objects, making them glow or play sounds or do all sorts of things that Prestidigitation would probably do better. But at least you can play your own theme music too!

But of course the main appeal of being an Artificer is the Spellcasting. You can learn two cantrips from the Artificer list like Message to coordinate with your support and Guidance to help yourself find treasure! (Or help others I guess.) You can prepare a number of spells equal to your Intelligence modifier plus your Artificer level (rounded down.) Cure Wounds will let you summoner spell Heal yourself or your Support. Faerie Fire will serve as a more basic version of your Essence Flux, making an enemy easier to hit (therefor making them take more damage!) And Feather Fall is always useful in a pinch!

Also yes you don’t have your gauntlet yet so you’re going to have to use a Light Crossbow for now. Feel free to take a combat cantrip if you want but you don’t really need it.

LEVEL 2 - ARTIFICER 2

Second level Artificers can make Infusions, special definitely-not-stolen magical treasures that make them more awesome than everyone else. For a little more AD an Enhanced Weapon is useful to have. You can also put those goggles on your head to use by making Goggles of Night to see with your dumb human eyes. A Mind Sharpener may feel like a cheat, but I’m not going to say no to keeping Concentration in check. And for your final infusion? A Rope of Climbing might be useful? Honestly the more impressive stuff comes after you’ve done a bit more exploring.

You can also prepare another spell like Alarm, just in case someone’s planning to steal your... legitimately earned treasure.

LEVEL 3 - ARTIFICER 3

Third level Artificers get to choose their specialty and Armorers don’t have to wear an entire suit of armor; just a gauntlet! Along with proficiency in Smith’s Tools you can turn any suit of armor you find into Arcane Armor. The armor has a variety of benefits: no Strength requirement, the inability to have your armor removed against your will, the ability to take it off or put it on as an action, and some replacement limbs. But notably it works as an Artificer spell focus!

There’s two different Armor Models and we’ll be going for the Infiltrator variant for a Lightning Launcher. This makes your Gauntlet a weapon that deals a d6 of lightning damage, with a regular range of 90 and a long range of 300 in case you want to go for long ranged snipes. Additionally once per turn you can pop Essence Flux to do an extra d6 of damage on hit! And I didn’t even mention the best part: this works off your Intelligence! So no more need for the crossbow.

You also get your boots for Powered Steps, increasing your movement speed by 5 feet. And thanks to your Dampening Field you can hide in bushes with free Stealth advantage! I’d recommend trying to get a Breastplate because that’s the best armor you can get that doesn’t also impose stealth disadvantage, but even with Half Plate you can still be sneaky! Heck, you can even wear Platemail if you want! "And my boots are not waterproof. Fantastic."

Oh and you get some Armorer Spells! Magic Missile will autoaim for you like your Arcane Shift projectile, and Thunderwave is helpful for some self-peel.

LEVEL 4 - ARTIFICER 4

4th level Artificers get an Ability Score Improvement: seeing as we have uneven Intelligence take the Observant feat for +1 Intelligence and a boost to your passive Perception and Investigation to watch the minimap for people to snipe! Additionally you can spy on the bad guys if you want and read their lips to gain knowledge of all their secret plans!

More Intelligence does also usually mean more spells prepared but I’m going to wait for...

(Artwork by Xu “Crow God” Cheng. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 5 - ARTIFICER 5

5th level Armorers up their Attack Speed with Rising Spell Force, gaining an Extra Attack with the attack action!

You also get Mirror Image and Shatter added to your list of Armorer Spells, and can prepare spells like Rope Trick for a safe place to rest for awhile, and Heat Metal to really lay in that Essence Flux.

LEVEL 6 - ARTIFICER 6

6th level Artificers get more Infusions which is what I was waiting for! A Radiant Weapon is all the fun of an Enhanced Weapon but it also doubles as a flashlight for your dumb human eyes! And Boots of the Winding Path will let you Arcane Shift back to safety in case you accidentally run into danger.

Feel free to swap some of your old infusions around too. A Lantern of Revealing or Cloak of Elvenkind would be helpful... and Gloves of Thievery never hurt anyone.

And finally you can prepare Aid, as your natural awesomeness rubs off on your allies. "Oh, please, don't die. I can't lose a sidekick. Not again."

LEVEL 7 - WIZARD 1

You didn’t think this would just be a pure Artificer build, did you? Even if that would’ve been stronger I’m legally obligated to needlessly stick multiclass levels into all my builds. And Wizard is definitely a good multiclass for more slots to do Spellcasting! You learn 3 cantrips and six leveled spells as a first level Wizard:

CANTRIPS

To help your allies land their shots take Mind Sliver to weaken an enemy’s saving throws.

Prestidigitation will let you do a bunch of simple magic, and if you want you can have your own hero music too!

Finally Friends is good to make friends you don’t mind losing after they tell you where the ancient ruins are.

SPELLS

I basically just took everything with the Ritual tag. Alarm (yes you have it as an Artificer spell but you can swap that out), Comprehend Languages, Detect Magic, Identify, Tenser’s Floating Disk... and sure why not Find Familiar too? Seeing as you can ritual cast at will most of your early level stuff is going to be reserved for Ritual Casting, as you’re probably going to be spending most of your first level slots on Magic Missile and Faerie Fire anyways.

You also get Arcane Recovery, letting you recover spell slots equal to half your Wizard level (rounded up.) So right now you can get a first level spell slot back at the end of a Short Rest! And later on you can get more!

LEVEL 8 - WIZARD 2

Second level Wizards get to choose the school that their parents left them in before disappearing in the jungle, and the School of Evocation has a surprise tool that will help us later. Along with being an Evocation Savant (allowing you to copy Evocation spells into your spell book with half the time and cost) you can Sculpt Spells so that they only hit the bad guys: when you cast an Evocation spell (from any class, not just Wizard!) you can choose a number creatures equal to the spell’s level + 1. The chosen creatures automatically succeed on their saving throws against the spell, and they take no damage if they would normally take half damage on a successful save. This will be really useful when we get our (pseudo-)Global ultimate; wouldn’t want to fry your pals now would you?

We may as well grab some of those Evocation spells, right? Earth Tremor will let you hit an AoE Mystic Shot because Riot decided that Tiamat should have a cleave I guess, and I mean... Shield is never a bad thing to have?

(Artwork made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 9 - ARTIFICER 7

Back to the big brain plays: 7th level Artificers can make the biggest brain plays thanks to Flash of Genius, letting you boost an ally’s skill check or saving throw with your own natural perfection. The boost is equal to your Intelligence modifier and you can use this reaction a number of times equal to double your Intelligence modifier.

LEVEL 10 - ARTIFICER 8

8th level Artificers get another Ability Score Improvement? Well seeing as Intelligence still controls just about everything we do it would do good to increase that by 2! That does mean you can prepare more spells (both as a Wizard and as an Artificer) but I’m going to wait for...

LEVEL 11 - ARTIFICER 9

Every ADC dreams of being six-slotted; now you can be with Armor Modifications! Your Armorer armor counts as 4 separate items for the sake of your Infusions: the chest piece, boots, helmet, and the armor’s special weapon can all be infused. Far more importantly however you can have two extra infusions! Those infusions have to be on your armor, but you can put the Radiant Weapon (weapon) and Goggles of Night (helmet) onto your armor and save your other infusions for your allies! Or for yourself; yourself works too.

And we can’t forget the third level spells! You get Hypnotic Pattern from your Armorer Spells for an AoE stun, but far more importantly you get Lightning Bolt which will serve as Trueshot Barrage! And since you’re an Evocation Wizard you can shoot past your friends without blowing them to bits. "Oh, a plan. Yeah, I totally have one of those."

You can also prepare spells like Haste for more DPS (just don’t get stunned), Blink for some Duskblade invisibility, and replace Alarm with Revifify... Ya know: just in case.

LEVEL 12 - ARTIFICER 10

As an ADC it would be good to get six-slotted, and Magic Item Adept lets you get your 4th Legendary item! That’s because you can now attune to 4 magic items at once! (And can also craft Common and Uncommon magic items more easily.)

Speaking of Infusions, we can make more of them, such as a Cloak of Protection or Winged Boots! These are just generally useful but not really Ezreal specific; they’re mostly for your allies. "The gauntlet's for show... the talent's all me."

You can also prepare another spell like Fly which is just universally useful, and holy shit you get another cantrip. Take Mage Hand and maybe try to be a little more cautious when tomb raiding?

(Artwork by Bo “chenbowow” Chen. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 13 - ARTIFICER 11

Do you want a lot more Mystic Shots? 11th level Artificers can make a Spell Storing Item and put an Artificer spell of first or second level inside. What’s cool about this is that anyone can use it, allowing them to cast the spell as if they were you!

My recommendation? Give them Mirror Image. It’s an amazing buff that doesn’t require Concentration. Even a low DEX Paladin will appreciate the chance to not be hit, and a high DEX ally can really get value out of Mirror Image. Yeah the Barbarian technically can’t cast while raging, but they can use this before going into a Rage to be very hard to hit!

And speaking of spells you can prepare another one, so how about you grab Create Food and Water to keep yourself sated on longer archeological trips. "Why didn't I eat before I got here...? Ezreal, why?!”

LEVEL 14 - ARITIFCER 12

12th level Artificers get another Ability Score Improvement... we got all we need in terms of stats (Intelligence lol) so now it’s time to really make some impressive trick shots: the Sharpshooter feat will let you attack at long range without disadvantage and ignore cover bonuses, but most importantly you can take a -5 to your attack roll for a whopping +10 to damage! Don’t use this on high AC targets obviously but if you think you’ll hit why not go for the one-shot? "No applause, please. ...Okay, maybe just a bit of thunderous acclaim. ...A little?"

LEVEL 15 - WIZARD 3

I do still want more spell slots, as well as more spells known! Truthfully there isn’t too much I want from second level, so take Locate Object to find hidden treasure and Augry (added to the Wizard spell list thanks to Tasha’s!) to know what to expect in the next dungeon... sorta. "No plan survives first contact with me."

LEVEL 16 - WIZARD 4

4th level Wizards get an Ability Score Improvement: we got all the abilities we wanted really, so why not Get Lucky? The Lucky Feat will give you a bit of anime protagonist power to guarantee that you make the perfect daring escape. Feel free to take Warcaster or just increase your Constitution however; by this point Ability Scores don’t matter too much.

You can also learn two more spells like Melf’s Acid Arrow for another Essence Flux-esque DoT ability and See Invisibility, in case you need a Sweeper Lense to deal with any clowns.

LEVEL 17 - WIZARD 5

Ima be honest I kinda just wanted third level for Thunder Step to get an Arcane Shift that does damage. Artificer 18 / Wizard 2 (or even just Artificer 20) would’ve been a fine build for Ezeal too, if you don’t think this one spell is worth a 5 level class dip.

Anyways you also learn another cantrip and I mean... you may as well take Shocking Grasp for some defense up close? You also get one other spell and I’m gonna suggest Galder’s Tower this time which is like Tiny Hut... but awesome. And really small. This is mostly just a way for me to talk about a fun spell and also recommend my homebrew fix for it.

(Artwork by Alvin Lee. Made for Riot Games.)

LEVEL 18 - ARTIFICER 13

You got third level spells as a Wizard, you can now prepare 4th level spells as an Artificer! Fire Shield and Greater Invisibility are both available as Armorer Spells, one of which is far more useful for you than the other one. Bro imagine how crazy Evelynn would be with Evelynn’s passive. But yeah feel free to swap around your prepared spells a bit for more 4th level spells, since you definitely have the slots to do so.

LEVEL 19 - ARTIFICER 14

14th level Artificers are Magic Item Savants who can attune to 5 magic items at once, meaning that along with your boots which are technically magical but whatever you can finally be properly six-slotted! But far more importantly you can attune to any item, regardless of any class or race restrictions tied to the item!  "I can't get hauled into wizard court again. Technically I don't have a permit for the gauntlet."

Speaking of more attunement: more Infusions. An Amulet of Health will let you boost your bad Constitution from a 10 to a 19, giving you a solid 76 health boost near max level! Other than that more movement speed is never a bad thing, and Boots of Speed may give you more value than your other magic boots.

But holy shit forget all that because you finally get your 4th Artificer cantrip! Grab Mending because somehow we don’t have that yet; gotta keep your outfit in check! Oh and you can get around to preparing another 4th level spell! Truth be told though the 4th level spells for Artificer are kinda... bad? But at least Tasha’s gave us Summon Construct which is a surprisingly strong summon!

"Last time I was in Shurima, I decoded some glyphs. Something about a jackal head... End of times... The usual. All I wanted was this ruby scarab. It looks great on my mantle."

LEVEL 20 - ARTIFICER 15

Our final level is the 15th level of Artificer for the Perfected Armor Armorer capstone. When you shoot an enemy you mark them with Essence Flux, giving them disadvantage to hit you. In addition the next attack (including your own I’m pretty sure!) has Advantage against the enemy while they’re marked with  Essence Flux, and if they’re hit they’ll take an extra d6 of Lightning damage!

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Blast 'em, gauntlet! - With your capstone ability you do 4d6 + 10 damage with your Lightning Launcher, and that’s before using Sharpshooter. Even without your capstone 3d6 + 10 is still really good damage output, especially when you can cast spells for big bursts of damage.

See if you can handle this! - Speaking of spells your slots go all the way up to 7th level, and while you’ll mostly just be upcasting a 12d6 Lightning Bolt is nothing to sneeze at! Not to mention other options like a 7d8 Fire damage Heat Metal or +30 HP Aid.

If anyone asks, I didn't see any of these priceless artifacts for sale - It goes without saying that having two more attunement slots than the average character is massive, especially when you can stick infusions onto your armor to maximize the amount of treasures on your person.

CONS

I wasn't strong enough? - Investing fully in INT gives us maxed out combat stats but it leaves a lot of our other abilities lacking. We’re nowhere near Charismatic enough to sell (somewhat) illegitimately gotten gains, and while Infusions can help augment our health (and even our Strength if you grab a Belt of Giant’s Strength) your Wisdom and even your Dexterity are rather mediocre, which is bad for both skill checks and saving throws.

Impossible comebacks are sorta my specialty - Most of your coolest stuff is tied to spell slots and other Long Rest dependent mechanics, and while you have a lot of spell slots (as well as Arcane Recovery to get some of them back) they are still quite limited. You’re perfectly viable as just an auto-attack and Q spammer, but who doesn’t want to shoot lasers and explosions, ya know?

Never met a problem that I couldn't blast away with magic... that I don't even understand - 5 levels in Wizard give us big spell slots but that’s about it, and yeah a 7d6 Lightning Bolt (that won’t hit your allies) is nothing to sneeze at but for the most part you are more of a Martial character. Just saying that level 18 of Artificer would’ve given you Magic Item Master for a whole 6 attunement slots! And level 20 of Artificer would’ve given you Soul of Artifice, essentially operating as a +6 to all saving throws and a 6 time use Guardian Angel.

But if a teamfight breaks out you’re more than a capable ADC. Artificers are the masters of magic items and it doesn’t matter if you make them yourself or “borrow” them from an ancient tomb; you can be the hero mom and dad always wanted you to be! Just concentrate on your farm in the early game and don’t take unnecessary risks. You may be the perfect man of magic but you’re not immortal, despite what the ADCs I’m forced to support always seem to think.

(Artwork by Jennifer Wuesting. Made for Riot Games.)

[lottiejames]

Reunion

After months of internal work (and Viperion's good word), Ladybug has granted Chloe Bourgeois the bee miraculous, much to Viperion's surprise. Sequel to Call on Me

Or read it here: on AO3 (Call on Me)

Chloe stared at the simple box in front of her, seemingly innocent against the expensive fabric of her duvet. She didn’t know which was racing faster: her thoughts or her pulse. She didn’t actually think she’d be here again, no matter what her wildest fantasies contained, no matter how much it was talked about within herself, between her and him, between them, between any combination of the other holders. Yet, Ladybug had come and gone with a promise, and perhaps a warning, that she’d be back. The weight of it all sat heavily on her shoulders. Steeling herself, she reached for the box and opened it.

A golden glow swirled, then suspended in the air, was one of the beings she had hurt the most, “How may I serve you, my queen?”

The tears she hadn’t realized she’d been holding back sprung from her eyes, trailing down her face. Blue eyes followed their paths with concern, “Don’t cry, my queen,”

“Oh, Pollen,” Chloe whined, arms wrapping themselves around her legs, “I'm so sorry for everything I put you through,”

The yellow kwami floated up to her, wiping away a tear, “Oh, Chloe, I’ve been around a long, long time. I’ve seen many things, I’ve done many things. While it doesn’t justify any of it, I understand. I’ve seen the fear, the insecurities overcome my own holders and holders of the other miraculous,”

“It doesn’t make it...I shouldn’t have...I’m so sorry. I know words won’t ever be enough,”

Pollen smiled at Chloe, “Then show me with your actions, with changed behavior,”

“You’ll really give me another chance? Will you really forgive me?”

“I will. Ladybug and I have spoken at length about you, as well as the other kwamis giving me updates from their perspectives. I’ve long since forgiven you, Chloe,”

More tears spilled with a chuckle, “You are truly miraculous, Pollen,”

An overexaggerated sigh escaped the kwami, “Puns? Have you really been hanging around that cat so much in my absence?”

“Oh, Pollen, I don’t even know who that is,” She wiped away her tears, “I still only know the ones from...that day,”

Pollen nodded wisely, “Ah, yes. How are things going with Sass’s holder?”

Chloe’s cheeks suddenly burned as she picked at the loose thread on her duvet cover, “I’m not sure I know what you mean,”

“You’ll tell me, sooner rather than later,” Pollen shrugged, “I thought I overheard Ladybug saying she’d be back to pick you up for patrol?”

Chloe nodded, cheeks still stained, “Yes, she should be back soon,”

“And we are surprising him, yes?” Pollen pretended to be looking at her nonexistent fingernails, much like Chloe used to do around her.

“Yes,”

“Just say the magic words then, my queen,”

Despite the lingering guilt, the bundle of nerves, the schoolgirlish glee, Chloe smiled brightly, “Pollen, buzz on.”

***

“The end of your sector will be just over there,” Carapace pointed into the distance, after consulting the map in his hands.

“Where that wig shop is?” Viperion clarified, eyes squinting trying to see it from their rooftop view.

“Right there, yes. I was trying to have it by the gelato shop you like so much, but Ladybug didn’t like that idea,”

“I let Chat convince me to take one break during some random patrol and now it haunts me all the time,” he waved around dramatically.

“To be fair, it’s probably more him than you. His sector is getting changed too,”

Viperion turned around, “Why all the sector changes? We just changed them a few months ago,”

Carapace shuffled his feet, “Reasons,”

“Reasons?”

“Yep,”

Viperion folded his arms and continued to stare, “Care to elaborate?”

“Nope,” the map of the Parisian streets was quickly put aside.

Before he could question Carapace any further, separate blurs of orange and black flew past them.

“And that is how the fox outsmarts and outruns the cat,” Rena Rouge announced, her face beaming with a triumphant smile.

“Cheater! There was cheating!” Multiple raised eyebrows fixed on Chat Noir’s face, “There’s no way you knew about the alleyway shortcut, unless...Carapace, you dared betray me?”

Carapace looked away from him as Rena Rouge hugged his arm, “It was well worth the betrayal. Sorry, Kitty,”

As Chat Noir continued his theatrics, Viperion heard muffled voices coming from the stairwell door. His furrowed brows were lost on his companions.

A loud groan of aged metal revealed Ladybug, a knowing smile on her face. It was when she stepped aside, that Viperion felt the breath get knocked out of him.

With the setting Parisian sun as her backdrop, blonde hair gently swaying in the warm breeze, stood a figure draped in yellow and black, gold and night.

“Chloe?”

“Tsk, tsk. You know just as well as everyone else, it’s Queen Bee,” her voice tinkled through the air.

The world blurred at the edges, the voices surrounding him were muffled as if underwater. The only sight he could focus on was the renewed Miraculous holder and she stared right back.

She drew closer to him and before his thoughts caught up with his limbs, he was holding her close. He could smell a faint floral scent, reminiscent of her perfume. Her arms wrapped around him, breathing a sigh of relief at the welcoming.

He pulled away after a moment, eyes taking in her features, missing the light freckles hidden underneath her mask. Amusement looked back at him.

“But how?”

Queen Bee shrugged a shoulder, “Something about patience, dependability, redemption. It seems to have helped to have someone on the inside speaking to my many, many virtues,”

Viperion was vaguely aware of a tension on his cheeks, a product of his grin no doubt.

Coughing rather forcefully, Carapace drew their attention, “Now you know the reason for patrol changes,”

“And I expect,” Ladybug’s blue eyes shifted back and forth between the pair, “that there will be no tomfoolery or ridiculous antics,”

“Of course, you don’t have to worry about any of that,” Queen Bee said with conviction, her posture much like that of a soldier receiving orders from a superior.

“I, also, expect that there will be no secret rendezvous for make out sessions or hero date nights,”

Though her mask hid her freckles, it did nothing to conceal the growing blush on her cheeks. Viperion let out a strangled cough as Chat Noir laughed in the background.

“Understood?” Queen Bee and Viperion nodded quickly, avoiding eye contact with each other, “Good. We need to take in these budding romances in stages after all. Well, Viperion knows the drill. You're free to go home once your sector is done, barring anything happening,"

With that said, Ladybug turned towards Chat Noir, spoke a few words, and soon he was chasing after her. As if on cue, Rena Rouge and Carapace nodded to them and ran off into the night together.

Soon, only the noises from the streets below sounded around them.

“I had no-”

“I must say-”

Both of them chuckled, finally looking at each other.

“You first,” Viperion whispered, eyes skipping across her features.

Queen Bee took a breath, “Thank you. I know that I’ve been trying for a while now, but I really don’t think any of this could have happened without you, your input, your kindness,”

He scratched the back of his head, “I only shared the truth when asked. You’ve done a lot of growing, Chlo, even I can see it,”

“Queen Bee,”

Viperion’s face darkened again, “Ah, yes, of course. It’ll take me a minute to get used to that,”

She reached out and touched his arm, looking up at him to make eye contact, “Thank you, really. I don’t know how to repay you,”

“I’m sure one of us will think of something,” he replied, his thoughts jumping to all the various ways that could happen.

Her features shone with a warm radiance as she stepped closer to him. She raised herself onto tip-toe, closing much of the distance between them. Queen Bee, who soon would be known for her impeccable aim, missed her target on her second first-day as a hero. Viperion, as if on auto-pilot, as if one of her facial features were a magnet, followed her. She leaned in, so did he. She leaned right, so did he. A simple kiss on the cheek was met with lips instead.

It was fleeting, a brief second, but blue eyes flew open when she pulled away. They’d never had a seemingly telepathic connection, not like Ladybug and Chat Noir. In that moment, though, their eyes searched one another and with the most discreet of nods, their lips met properly, purposefully. Viperion’s arms wrapped around her waist as Queen Bee pulled him closer to her. It felt warm, it felt dizzying, it tasted surprisingly sweet - her lip gloss, no doubt. And neither of them knew how long it might have lasted, this culmination of months and months of secret glances, lingering touches, but it was cut short, nevertheless.

A catcall and a forced cough broke them apart, the heat of Paris no longer being the only thing that surrounded them.

Ladybug raised an eyebrow at them, her face conveying all the words she wasn’t saying as Chat Noir made all sorts of jokes and puns in the background.

After the duo left, it was a minute or two before either superhero made any sound.

“So,”

“So?”

“Patrol?” Viperion’s voice cracked ever so slightly.

Queen Bee smirked, regaining control much more quickly than he, “Patrol. Come on Rumplesnakeskin, lead the way, it’s the only time you’ll get to,”

He looked at her, “Really? Rumple-SNAKE-skin?” She shrugged, “Anything but Rumple-SNAKE-skin, please,”

The air carried her laughter.

[peeterparkr]

Idk if you write for Harry styles but I know you love him so maybe would you write a fic about a first kiss with him? Like your a friend of his and he kisses you or yes

I’ve never posted anything about Harry but hell have I been writing about him since I was 13

You literally just sent this while I was listening to Golden so.... idk what this is maybe it sucks

here you go!

Pop(corn).

Harry and you had been friends for a while. Friends came as very short observation as to your actual relationship. Everything that involved a relationship Except of course having an actual relationship and everything that made it intimate. Maybe you just had it in your head. But who wouldn’t?

You had a crush on him, and you believed he was very aware of that. He knew the effect he had on people, he just... knew it. He knew he could make you swoon with just a gentle soft smile. And he knew that everything he did was just absolute splendor. He loved to play and toy with your mind and he was very aware of the way he’d take your breath away just by letting out a soft laugh.

Harry knew this. To perfection. He had mapped a way to puzzle with your emotions each and every day. Whenever he brushed his fingers slightly to your arm or the way he stared into your souls with those green stars he had for eyes.

But of course, even if he knew this. He didn’t. Because he thought you only saw him as everyone else did. He was so used to the attention that he really didn’t think of it as much. But you saw so much more in him.

Harry was poetry, a song, a work of art. Someone you could stare at all day, and not be bored at all. He was like that first ray of sunshine that bursts through the window early in the morning, dusting your room with that golden miracle. He didn’t know that you also knew that works of art like him needed a well deserved break.

But he knew he could have them with you. Because sometimes even the sun gets tired from shining. So he could be him when he had to, forget about the burden that being “Harry Styles” meant.

He’d be able to kick his feet up, and throw popcorns at his mouth and laugh with you, without worrying if his laugh was melodic. He could have his crazy hair and he could have a glass of wine without worrying about spilling it.

Maybe that’s why you’d been so keen on hiding your crush on him, maybe that’s why you never mentioned it, and that’s why you pretended that you’d never fall in love with him. Even if you already had.

“Y/N?” He called you, softly. It was one of those days where he was being himself, laying on your couch as you were scrolling on your phone.

So very you, so very him. No need for anything else. But lately you’ve been hinting it more often, maybe your smile would grow bigger or your cheeks would turn red.

“Yeah?” You looked up at him.

“Let’s watch a movie,” he suggested.

You chuckled. “Should we just search romantic comedies on Netflix and see what we find?” You mocked as he let out a laugh.

“Very funny. Sure,” he rolled his eyes as he opened his arms. “I need a cuddle, love.”

“I will just go for some popcorn,” you told him as he watched you leave.

He frowned as he followed you, he ran a hand through your hair as you searched in the cupboard for the popcorn. You smiled slightly at him as you watched him put them into the microwave.

Every time, every damned time you looked at him you knew he had opened a door to your soul, as if he daggered your heart with the green eyes he had. Maybe you’d find a way to earn his love someday.

“So, are you making your own popcorn?” He raised his brows. “Because those are mine.”

You laughed. “What?”

“I put them in, those are mine and I’m not sharing,” he stated.

“What?” You chuckled. “I’m not putting more popcorn, Edward.”

“Your call, I’m not sharing,” he reminded you.

But eventually the popcorn started popping and you headed back down to the couch, place where Harry demanded for cuddling. And this was him, this was him for you, the guy who was refusing to share popcorn but that demanded cuddles because he was too soft for his own convenience. He never stopped being sunshine.

He had kissed your head several times and he would playfully flick your hand off and glare whenever you stole popcorn from the bowl.

“You know I don’t get why the foot goes... pop,” Harry commented as he watched the movie.

“Do tell?” You chuckled.

“When they kiss,” Harry laughed. “I’ve kissed several times in m’life and I’ve never popped... my foot up.”

You grinned. “They haven’t been good kisses then.”

Harry scrunched his nose. “You wouldn’t know that.”

You looked him in the eyes, then down at his lips, knowing damn well you were so close you could even feel his hot breath against yours. “You’re right, I wouldn’t.” Because you knew it, you probably were not worthy of his kiss.

He cleared his throat and smiled. “Still, no one pops their foot when kissing... which reminds me to stop you from eating my popcorn,” he said cockily as he watched you get a handful into your mouth.

“You sure about that?” You smirked.

He playfully pushed your hand away as you tried to rip the bowl off his hands to sneak a mouthful of popcorn. The both of you were laughing, as you tried to fight for the barely remaining popcorn. And you couldn’t help but notice the mingle on your stomach. But maybe it was only your imagination or the fact that he had actually started to tickle you.

“That was my popcorn, love,” he reminded you laughing, as he slowly watched you recover from laughing. But the teasing didn’t stop there and suddenly the movie playing in the background didn’t matter either. You were both on the floor trying to fight back for the bowl of popcorn which was nowhere to be found now, with him pushing your hands back and you trying to push him away. All games and fun, giggles.

And then he smiled, that smile that was so very him. That you were sure it would change the world, as it did. But it felt so intimate and personal. And maybe it was the way he was just appealing to you in that certain moment or maybe it was the way that he was just looking at you and only you. As if it didn’t matter who he was, because you were there. He had that way. To make you think he forgot he was “Harry Styles” and, make you think he was Harry and only Harry.

And on the floor as he pushed your hair back and as you were both covered in popcorn, he looked at you in his very intimate way. And you wanted to stare at him, all day and all night. This way. Very him. Very really him. And on the floor, with popcorn he did what you never thought he would. A kiss. That tasted sweet and tasted salty. A kiss where you could feel the remaining butter of the popcorn but the true nature of his sweet lips. And his lips choreographed with yours, and everything was splendid. Him taking your breath away, mapping your emotions with his, his hand caressing and cupping your cheeks.

He pulled away, “see? A good kiss doesn’t need a pop.” He gave you a smug smirk.

But you found a popcorn and threw it into your mouth. “Yet it did.”

[itsbenedict]

I didn’t post about everything I played this year, so here’s my opinions on the stuff I played that I didn’t make a rec post for:

Raging Loop 

Raging Loop is one of them twisty meta Zero Escape-y branching-path visual novels where an ensemble cast is trapped in a mysterious circumstance where people are dying gruesomely, and you have to find out what’s happening and stop it by looping a bunch. 

I can’t wholeheartedly recommend it, because... it tries to have its cake and eat it too with the supernatural elements. Clearly magic is real and has important impacts on the scenario, but then other parts are trickery you’re supposed to see through, and it’s entirely uninterested in cluing you in to how that trickery was accomplished. Not exactly a fair play mystery, in that regard- you have to kind of just be along for the ride, rather than try to figure it out.

That said, it’s a good ride- pretty strong character writing, and the central conceit of the Werewolf/Mafia-style murder scenario creates really interesting drama. It’s more concerned with making itself feel clever than letting the player feel clever, but it’s still well-paced and gripping and has a pretty decent resolution.

Detective Grimoire

I recommended Tangle Tower, the sequel, pretty strongly- and this one, while obviously a little rougher around the edges with the art and mechanics (the suspicion tracker system is a total dud; I didn’t even realize it existed until I realized I was missing an achievement for using it), it’s still pretty darn good. Really fun character designs and animations, fully-voiced, and a solid whodunit backing it all. Plus- while the two are more or less self-contained, the continuity threads with Tangle Tower raised some really interesting questions.

Contradiction - the all-video murder mystery

This one was pretty fun, largely on the strength of the actors. The main mechanic of interrogating people on evidence and using their own statements against each other was some good stuff, too. Definitely had that Phoenix Wright quality to the deductions, and Jenks is a really fun character. (Had a few points where progression was just linked to standing in a certain previously-abandoned area of the map where a clue was suddenly there for no reason, there- good thing it had a hint system.)

As a mystery, it could use a little work- most of what you end up finding out is sequel bait (for a sequel that never actually came together, unfortunately), and the actual whodunit is just sort of hiding in the cracks of all that. And... cornering the culprit just sort of happens out of nowhere once you’ve got your hands on the right piece of evidence, without much fanfare. You’re following up on leads like usual, you find a little lie in someone’s testimony, and then- oh, shit, they’re just confessing everything! Unlike all the previous times you questioned them and they were super evasive like everyone else! And then the game is over. 

All in all, it’s pretty meaty and entertaining and I’d recommend it, but unfortunately the creators have moved on to other things, so there’s not going to be any follow-up on the stuff it left unresolved.

Ikenfell

Ikenfell is a tightly-designed RPG about kids at a magic school, with Paper Mario-style action command mechanics and a battle system that makes a big deal out of careful positioning and movement, which was really enjoyable. The difficulty’s a little high (I recommend always always always speccing into max damage because killing things before they kill you is worth more than any amount of defense, speed doesn’t work, and healing is cheap), but I found it really satisfying.

There’s... something... off? About... I don’t know how to put it, it’s... doing that “yes, everyone is queer and mentally ill, deal with it” thing, which, sure, okay. But for a lot of them it’s such a background thing, like... half the playable cast is unambiguously nonbinary, but like... I don’t know if it’s trying to make some statement on how there are no rules to being NB and you can 100% perform a particular binary gender presentation but still count, or if they wrote the whole story and then changed the pronouns of some of the characters for Representation Points, or what. Probably the former? I dunno, it just feels weird. Maybe I’m just not woke enough to Get It.

(unrelatedly: why the heck is the official art they use everywhere so... off-model? none of them look like they do in-game- they look like the creator commissioned someone to draw a group shot with one reference image each and didn’t tell them anything about the characters. how much you wanna bet they commissioned a friend and it came out wrong but they were too polite to say “sorry, no, this is wrong, can you do it over?”)

Trails of Cold Steel IV

Hoo boy. It’s... not great, and it’s not great in a pretty predictable way for an even-numbered entry in the Trails series. It happens every time- first there’s a game in a new engine with new characters and a new world to explore, and it’s really nice and does interesting things... and then it ends on a cliffhanger, and then there’s a sequel game in the same engine with the same characters and the same world, reusing as many assets as possible. Also the League Of Generically Evil Anime Supervillains is there causing trouble for reasons they refuse to explain, and the plot is a storm of magicbabble and macguffin-chasing that makes little to no sense. 

Cold Steel IV is that for Cold Steel III, full stop. Welcome back to all the same places you visited last game, except this time there’s some stupid magic apocalypse happening (not that it stops you from taking the time to do random sidequests constantly, of course). The whole “oh, the evil curse mind controls people and that’s why they do stupid bullshit that’s in no one’s interest” plot point is leaned on super hard, and it’s just a big yawn the whole way through.

It’s still really fun, though, because the battle system remains really well-designed. (The same battle system that was just as fun in Cold Steel III, mind you, but it hasn’t gotten old.) And- though they’re struggling to square it with the dumb mind control apocalypse plot, the NPC dialogue continues to make the world feel believable and lived-in. They don’t slack on the parts that make Trails good- it’s just the parts that make Trails bad are making themselves more evident than ever.

did finally get to date Towa though so that’s a win

One Step From Eden

OSFE is... uh. It’s fucking hard is what it is. It’s sort of a deckbuilding roguelike, and there’s this combat that takes place on a grid, and- wait, it’s like Mega Man Battle Network, it’s exactly like Mega Man Battle Network. Man, I forgot about that, but the mechanical influence is extremely obvious. It’s MMBN meets Slay the Spire.

Except it’s super duper hard as hell, because unlike MMBN you can’t pause and swap out chips or anything- everything is just always happening so much, all at once, everywhere, and you have no recourse but to git gud and learn all the enemy patterns and the behavior of your own spells and develop the twitch reflexes necessary to not fucking die from all the shit that’s on the screen always.

(What’s the story? Uhhhh, there was some kind of magic apocalypse, and some anime girls are trying to reach a city for some reason that doesn’t really get explained ever. The game doesn’t really care to build its world at all- it’s all mechanics plus a little token character dialogue that doesn’t say much.)

The point is it’s really frickin’ hard but I am an epic pro gamer and I got ALL THE ACHIEVEMENTS, MOTHERFUCKER. If you’ve played it, I expect you to be really god damn impressed with me, okay???

A Short Hike

This one was really relaxing! It’s a platformer where you explore an Animal Crossing-y island of cartoon animal people, collecting mobility upgrades- but like, mainly it’s about straight chillin’. The flight controls are fun and there’s lots of little secrets to find and it’s just a nice time that doesn’t drag on too long. Not too much to say about this one.

Pokémon Sword

Ehhhhh.

I’m not here for the hot takes about how Dexit is good actually. Development hell happened, they had to make cuts for time, I get it. It’s disappointing and makes the game a little bit worse, but it’s not the end of the world.

Apart from that... perfectly serviceable? The Wild Area could’ve used a little more technical polish (as could most things in the game, really) but was a step in the right direction, giving the player a wider array of early-game team-building options than ever before. No HMs is good. Story and characters were kind of nothing, but that’s par for the course. “At least this time they’re not shoehorning in some kind of stupid evil-team-wants-legendary-pokemon-to-destroy-the-world apocalypse plot”, I thought to myself before they managed to shoehorn one in at the last minute with zero buildup- but, hey, beats wasting half the game on it.

It’s nothing special and it’s missing a lot of polish, but its problems are mainly due to being rushed, and presumably next gen they’ll be able to reuse a lot of the models and animations (maybe even improve the animations so they’re not so boring??? a man can dream) and make something interesting. SwSh seem like they were testing the waters for something else, and not taking too many chances in the meantime. 

(yo why would you sell all these cosmetic items and then turn them all off during gym battles, though) 

Hades

Hades is- oh, who am I kidding? Everyone knows Hades, it’s the game of the year, greatest thing since sliced bread, Supergiant are heroes, yada yada yada. I’ve played almost 300 hours of it and I’ve completed everything except all the Resources Director levels (currently a Sigma Wraith), it’s extremely fun and you don’t need me to tell you that.

Petal Crash

It was that thing the Paranatural creator helped on? It’s, uh. It’s a block-sliding puzzle game thing, sort of in a Puyo Puyo vein. It has fun character designs and some good dialogue, like you’d expect from Zack’s involvement, but it didn’t really leave an impression otherwise (besides how got dang infuriating some of its Turn Trial puzzles can be.) The story is... kinda heartwarming, kinda didactic, kinda childish, not especially deep or interesting. Hard for it to be, when it’s told through little bits of fluffy character dialogue that exist to set up a puzzle battle as quickly as possible. Not super recommended unless you really really like block-sliding puzzles.

Hollow Knight

Man, why’d I sleep on this for so long? It’s a metroidvania platformer with heavy Dark Souls inspiration, in terms of tone and difficulty and death mechanics and environmental storytelling. And it’s... apart from all that, just really good as a game, with tight controls and juicy movement and great animation. Progression is linked as much to mastery as it is to upgrades collected- I found myself in lategame areas facing down things that would’ve killed me ten times over at the start- not because I had the best gear, but because I’d learned the game’s language and understood how to move in ways that wouldn’t get me killed.

(Usually. Sometimes I’d walk into a room and sit on a bench and suddenly there’d be a boss fight and I’d get slaughtered. Ain’t that just the way it goes?)

Anyway, on top of all that it’s just charming as hell, with a really unique and well-realized world full of little bug people. I love how, like, your character is clearly some kind of eldritch abomination, but it’s small and cute and so everyone (besides enemies that attack you on sight because they’re possessed by some kinda evil mold) is like “awww, who’s this little guy? want some help, little guy?”

(except Zote, who is just an ass hole. i love him.)