#also yes i actually named him Bubby because he is bubby

[bubupharma]

"How are you liking Natlan so far?"

[lawsvalentine]

Calling Them Funny/Embarrassing Pet Names • OP Men HC •

Characters: Monster Trio, Law, Ace,

CW: Fluff, Humor

Cee’s Note: I missed doing these silly hcs 🤭 hope y’all enjoy

Luffy

Pet name you call him: Shorty/shawty

He is your short king 😌

Even if he is taller than you, he is still your short king 😌😌

At first Luffy would get all pouty, because he thought you were making fun of his height

“M’not short Y/N, watch this!” *does that one move where he inflates himself like a big balloon*

“Nope, you still my shorty” 🤭

After a while the nickname kinda stuck, and now he finds it amusing.

He starts calling you mami/mamas as a nickname

“Shawtyyyy!”, you yell, jumping on his back, arms around his neck, legs wrapped around his waist for support.

“Hey, mami hehehe” he snickers, giving you his famous grin, as he holds your legs, spinning around causing you to squeal.

Zoro

Pet name you call him: stink/stink stink

This one is pretty self explanatory sgdjjd

Jk…not really

You started giving him this pet name whenever you were in the mood to bother his ass lol

“Whatcha doin, stink”

“Can’t you see I’m train-WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?”

He gets so mad SHDJJD

You had to explain to him you weren’t actually calling him stinky that it was just a joke

“I still think you’re making fun of me”, he turns his face away from you, frowning.

“You know I love you stink stink” 😙

“Would you STOP!”

Never gets used to the pet name and gets mad every time you do it

Zoro is pretty basic when it comes to pet names so he will usually call you babe or baby

Sanji

Pet name you call him: babygirl

Look at him 🥺

He is SO baby girl

You call him this whenever you just want to shower him with affection

“Babygirllll” you cooed, as you peppered his cheek with kisses.

“But I’m a boy, my love” Sanji’s cheeks were flushed red at the amount of affection you were giving him.

“I knowww…but baby girl fits you more” you wrap your arms around his chest, giving him a tight hug.

Sanji absolutely cannot handle the amount of affection. Mans is on cloud nine

Sanji is also the KING of pet names

My love, princess, darling, angel, gorgeous- the list goes on

Law

Pet Names you call him: pookie/pooks

You’re so unserious for giving him this pet name sgdhdj

You definitely do this when you’re feeling a bit bratty when he’s being stern with you

“ Y/N-ya, I have work to do right now. You have to leave”

“But pookieeeeee” *pouts*

“……”

Literally looks at you like 🤨

Gets so embarrassed when you say it in front of the crew

“Hey pooks” you wink at him.

Bepo and some other crewmates start snickering behind Law, he lowers his hat trying to hide his pink cheeks

He was debating whether to shambles you or himself from that room sgdhjd

You both came to an agreement: he will let you call him it ONLY IN PRIVATE

He lowkey likes being called a pet name even if he tries to put up a front

He will call you babe or baby but if he’s feeling a bit frisky he’ll call you kitty

Ace

Pet name you call him: bubby/bubba

You didn’t know whether to call him “baby” or “hubby” so your brain just mashed them together and created bubby

Somehow that perfectly fit him

“Did you just say bubby?”

“Yes ” 😁

“Wha-“

“LISTEN! YOU’RE BUBBY NOW, DEAL WITH IT!” 😤

He actually deals with it lol

Lowkey thinks you’re a genius for creating it sgdhdj

He’s such a dork lol

This man gets puddy in your hands whenever you call him that

Ace has a praise kink (its canon bc i said so 🤭) so this just feeds into it

Loves to give you pet names like baby/babe or cutie/beautiful

[chroniclesofajewishteen]

About Me:

Hi! You can call me Batsheva (not my real name it's actually my cat's name lol). You can already tell from my username that I'm Jewish and a teen. I am a minor, so don't be creepy. I am Ashkenazi (Ukrainian), on both sides and I am also Irish, Italian, and Cypriot. My pronouns are They/He, I am Genderfluid, and a grayromantic/sexual lesbian. I was born "female" but sorta reject that whole concept so idk. I'm also American. My other account (one much more wholesome but also very much less Jewish) is @jewishbiancadiangelo. My blog where I tell you to finish your babka is @i-am-literally-ur-bubbie.

I support the rights of all groups, and I support abortion rights.

Jewish people are not white, and it is an ethnicity.

Trump wants to eliminate my rights, please vote against him.

FAQ:

Are you a Zionist? Yes, it means thinking that Israel should exist. I hate bibi, want peace with Palestinians, and want to bring them home now. If you think Zionism is hating Palestinians, you are thinking of Khanisim. You sound like you're saying all feminists are TERFs.

You're Jewish right? Are you rich/controlling the world/killing gentiles? No! That's antisemitic. I am completely fine with non-Jews (both my grandfathers are goyim), I am not very rich (my parents are doctors but they spent too much money on medical school and a mortgage so we don't have that much), and while I would love to control the world that isn't happening right now.

Wow! You're Jewish, exist as an AFAB queer person, you must be dealing with sexism and queerphobia in the Jewish community! Nope, I'm completely fine. My family is feminist and queer-friendly, thank you very much. While I am sure that sexism and queerphobia exist in some groups, they do not exist in mine.

Don't you know that Semitic means being native to the levant? Why are you using that word if it includes other groups? Because it's not my fault the word has been historically used to describe hatred against Jews. I use it because most people know what I mean when I use it.

Here is my other post about me:

This is my post about whiteness:

Reminder: The JVP is not Jewish!

Oh btw I'm also autistic but I don't normally post about that so I didn't include it before.

[garciaasfluffypen]

bright beginnings pt 8.

pairing: single dad!joseph quinn x fem!reader  wc: 1.4k  warnings: i don’t think there’s any!! let me know if i missed them tho. ALSO this part is still in joe’s pov

part seven • part nine

“so hold on.”

“holding.” joe took a sip of his tea.

“so in the last few months you’ve gained control of a daycare, started divorcing the witch and realized that you’re in love with your employee.”

joe practically choked on his tea. “i’m not- i’m not in love with her.”

“mmhmm…” grace chuckled. “sure joe.”

“don’t look at me like that!” joe playfully hit her on the arm while the kids weren’t looking. “i’ll admit, y/n is beautiful-“

“thats a really pretty name.”

“yes, but-”

“-you literally own the daycare, joe, i don’t think it's gonna matter in the long run.” grace took a sip from her cup. “and you haven’t had a chance to date since julia took over your life so this is basically a fresh start for you.”

joe sighed, rubbing his face with his hands. “you do have a very valid point. but-”

“nope. don’t wanna hear it. you’re gonna flirt and your gonna feel good doing it.”

“what if she doesn’t like me back?”

“from what i heard from wes, she’s got her eye on you. joe she invited you out for drinks on girls night. girls don’t do that unless they’re whipped.”

“th-there’s no way she’s whipped for me.”

grace looked at joe over her mug. “joseph. wesley told me everything about girls night. and from context clues, i can tell she’s into you.” a beat. “don’t huff at me! you know i’m right and you’re only thinking this way because julia is a-”

“choose your next words very carefully vandien, there are children around.”

“you know what i want to say and that i will say it as soon as the kids go to bed.”

joe sighed, “do you think she likes me?”

“i don’t even know her but i know she likes you back. wes told me she spent like almost forty minutes talking to you two at the bar the other night, yeah? to be honest joe, most girls don’t do that kinda shiii…uff. that kinda stuff. we tend to stick to our groups and don’t go out of the way for men. you guys kinda suck, no offense.”

“none taken.” joe shrugged. “i just… i dunno, it feels weird i guess? to think anyone would actually like me.”

“well why don’t you take it slow? just try and… dip your toe in the water?” grace raised her eyebrows. “and besides, you don’t have to do anything until you’re ready. don’t force something that could potentially backfire if julia finds out.”

joe was quiet for a moment. “do you think she would use it against me?”

“honestly?” grace was quiet for a moment. “she wants to turn your life upside down. now i’m only hearing all of this second hand since i work with her sister at lamda, but from what i heard she really wants the kids.”

“the kids she subjects to sitting in the same room for hours on end with no enrichment and barely takes care of? the ones who get learning from their father and not their mother?”

grace nodded. “i don’t know what she has against you but…”

“i can’t believe her.” joe set his mug down on the side table. “i actually can’t-”

“daddy?” riley padded over to joe, climbing up into his lap. “daddy sad?”

joe’s heart melted. “a bit sad, yes bubby. your mummy isn’t being very nice to daddy.”

“mummy being mad?”

“you could say that, yes. mummy is trying to get daddy to do things he normally wouldn’t do. so mummy is being a bit mean.”

“dat’s not nice, mummy no be mean.” riley pouted. “mummy need be nice. like you daddy. you nice.” joe rubbed up and down her back. “daddy?”

“yes my princess?”

“thomas and me stay tonight?”

“yes, you get to stay with daddy for seven extra days! maybe longer if mummy decides to be nice.”

“wot about y/n? do we getted to play with her?”

grace had to force herself not to burst out laughing as she covered her mouth with her hands, watching joe’s expression turn from mortified to amused. it did make him chuckle a bit seeing how much they loved y/n, but it honestly could be because they didn’t have a solid female presence in their home lives. julia was not meant to be a mother, but for some reason she forced the idea of being parents on him pretty early into their marriage. it could have been because her own parents were determined to pass on the bloodline, and they fully thought that joe was going to make it big. from what grace had heard, originally he was interested in her sister, lucia, but that fell through pretty quickly when her mother basically shoved him into a relationship with julia.

julia, from the small amount of time that grace had spent in the same room as her, was a major bitch. you couldn’t do anything right for that girl, and it showed. julia refused to talk to grace, even though she and joe were pretty close since she was jealous of their friendship. at least, thats what wesley had told her. if there was anything she wanted in life, it was for julia to take a goddamn hike. she never liked julia, if she were being completely honest. it was definitely so ething that made her feel so bad, especially for joe, but she knew things were goung to be turning around now that the bitch was going down.

shs bad helped joe find some of the best lawyer he could afford, and he was able to help work out the custody plan. it was a shitty one, but it was so worth it. the kids would get roughly two weeks at each parent’s house, and spend more time at joe’s when julia decided iut of the bkue she was going to travel. grace and lucia had their suspicions that julia had a boy on the side, but nothing had been confirmed yet. it could potentially explain why she was traveling so much, but nobody would know for sure until it became facebook official. grace hadn’t blocked her simply for that reason- she needed to know exactly when julia would potentially post this guy she potentially had been seeing so they could take it straight to the lawyer and make the claim that she was prioritizing herself over the kids. lucia already sent over tons of photos of the kids sitting alone in a room with a handful of toys and a tv blasting that horrid steve and maggie show that julia insisted they watch. their case was getting better and better by the second, but she wasn’t sure how much longer it would last.

“is gracie stay too?” riley perked up. “gracie bedtime story?”

“i can totally stay for bedtime tonight. we can do all the silly voices!” grace leaned over to tickle riley’s tummy. “for now though, let’s decide what movie to torture daddy with during dinner time.”

“grace… no screens during dinner.” joe gave grace a pointed look.

“but joe, auntie grace is here. they totally deserve screen time during dinner. when was the last time they got to watch a movie during dinner?”

“the answer is no. they do that too much at julia’s and i want them to actually foxus on their food and not the movie.”

“how about a movie after dinner?” grace smiled sheepishly at joe. “then we can open the guiness you’ve been hiding in the back of your pantry.”

“you’re cheeky.”

“that i am, but you love me.”

“yes, i do.” joe lovingly rolled his eyes as he stood up to go make dinner. “but i also hate you. and you owe me big time.”

“i’ll be your babysitter when you finally get the guts to ask y/n on a date!”

joe definitely did not subtly flip her off as he walked to the kitchen.

[merklins]

Fine. The Furry Roster, part 1 of however many parts it takes: All the Gordons are cephalopods. Reasoning: Freeman's deep sea thing + Swap's tentacles + Doc is strange and bizarre + Freeman compares Loverboy to a cuttlefish in Act 1 + Literal Actual Octopus "Gordon". Freeman/Storyteller: Architeuthis/Giant Squid Swap/Overlord: Vampire Squid (they're really weird AND the vampire thing) Doc/Hypnos: Firefly Squid (those fuckers GLOW) Player/Power Trip: Blue-Ringed Octopus (chill but also dangerous) Gordon B/Leading Light: Cuttlefish Seven/Last Resort Gordon: Giant Pacific Octopus Worldstop crew: Malcom Challender: Unicorn (something something his ability to manipulate Source seemed magical to the AI? Really it's just because our Malcom fictive has a ponysona but no actual fursona) Darnold: Pitbull (seen as aggressive but tend to be sweethearts; very loyal) Benrey/"Forzen": Blue dragon sea slug / garden snail (Benrey is a slug, but his Forzen disguise is quite literally him retreating into his shell) Y2KVR crew: Benrey (also Loveletters Benrey): Heterometris spinifer/Giant blue scorpion (for obvious reasons + they're blue) Spork (also Valentine): African Gray Parrot (They're smart as FUCK) Coomer/Lovetap: Mantis shrimp Bubby/Dr. Feelgood: Fire salamander Forzen/DJ Heartbeat: Mongolian death worm (this is not a real animal, however, they are supposedly attracted by rhythmic thumping similar to a heavy bass beat) Darnold/Smooth Operator: Cinnabar chanterelle (yes, the mushroom. Consider the emails to be similar to the mycelial network. I know this is getting weird. It will get weirder.) Tommy/I Don't Remember His Lovecore Name: Common crow The Restrictor: Raven (Half-Life G-Man is associated with ravens sometimes)

More will come soon.

"blackmailbutler asked:

Furry Roster Part 2 Of Something:

Admins: Admin C: Tri-color Monitor Lizard G-Man: Komodo Dragon Da Boss: Blue Poison Dart Frog Admin F: Blue jay (Like a blue jay, most of his aggression is a bluff; he's loud and abrasive, but doesn't actually want to fight) Admin P: Praying Mantis (green and can sort of punch things) Admin Darnold (he is mentioned one time in Act 1): Clownfish (orange + Darnold is mentioned to have been taking care of Joshua, which made us think of Finding Nemo because of the whole parental figure thing? Mostly going on vibes because we know nothing of him.)

Mad Science Team: Sleepless: Canada Goose (Acts like an asshole most of the time + Canada + probably loud as fuck) Harold: Protogen (it's MY furry AU and *I* get to choose the species. AND Protogens are COOL) Electrobubby: Electric eel (duh) Politerey: Duck (mostly because we are a Benrey and Forzen siblings truther) Project Coolatta: Lace Monitor Lizard The Old Man: Lace Monitor Lizard (they're monitors to call back to a certain other father-son duo, but unlike GVRV and C, they're the same species to represent them NOT being estranged)

Merch Team/The Last Resort: The Party Pontiff: Mantis shrimp Wheels: Okay so you know how people make anthro planes? That but a Greyhound bus. Yes he still drives an actual bus. I told you last ask that it'd get weirder! Tommy Bahama: Marine iguana (He does the beach tour IIRC. Plus I wanted him to be a lizard like some of the other Tommies.) Dr. Perky: Golden orbweaver (laser grid = spiderwebs, plus golden/orange color scheme) The Bellhop: Tropical leatherleaf slug (Vibes only. Plus he can retract one of his eyestalks to fit the one-eyed thing.)

???: Barney Calhoun: Harbor Seal Alyx Vance: Leopard/Deer (based on our pre-existing furry!Alyx. Eli is a deer, and she wears a little headband with some of his shed antlers on it.) Capital M: Changeling (think MLP. What do you mean that's just the ponysona that I got assigned by the system. I don't know what you're talking about.)"

----

me time answer time (:

OH MY YOU ACTUALLY DID IT. YOU ACTUALLY HAD THEM ALL. AND!! THEY'RE ALL SO AWESOME TOO?? I don't know much about the lizard selections for the Coolattas BUT!! Absolutely AGREED on the Gordons being cephalopods that is SO SO COOL. The bright colored rings of the blue ringed octopus on Player and Power Trip? OHHH THAT'S EPIC.Love the sea slug snail thing you have going for worldstop benrey. YES!! Attention for the worldstop benrey!! Love that guy. cherish that guy. AND Y2KVR FORZEN AS THE WOOORM. THAT! IS! SUCH A COOL WAY OF TYING IN MUSIC TO CREATURES. AND!! Same goes for Y2KVR Darnold! Because OH! MY! GOD! MUSHROOM MYCELIAL NETWORK FOR THE EMAILS YES YES YES THAT!! IS AWESOME. love mushrooms (: kicking my legs and giggling DUDE!! You have so much good stuff here HOW AM I TO SAY STUFF AT IT ALL? Literally ALLLL of these are SUCH! GOOD! CHOICES! I could be here forever. Mad Science Harold as a Protogen, YIPPEE! Forzen and Benrey connections? ALWAYS welcome! WHEELS. AS A BUS FURRY. /VPOS. Dr Perky as an orb weaver I LOVE ORBWEAVERS YES YES YES I SEE THE VISION AND IT IS WONDERFUL. And you certainly covered your bases huh? THE MCDONALDS WORKERS FROM HLVRV. AS FURRYS. IN! MY! INBOX!! /pos

and of course. ponysona ponys mlp hlvrv on the merklins tumblr ONCE AGAIN!! A lovely selection by the way changelings are so epic and cool always <3

THANK YOU FOR SHARING. THE. THIS!! SO EPIC AND COOL LOVE YOUR IDEAS THIS IS WONDERFUL AND TREASURED! This list spinning forever in the thoughts now (:

[cathalbravecog]

What do you think of Robert

Now if we ignore the previous ask and the fact it summoned him to appear in my dream this night,

He occupies pretty much the same place in my brain as Thomas because DUO DO NOT SEPARATE even if my brain only properly blorbos Thomas in that way Robert is a Different Feat I Suppose

He's a genuinely really intriguing character, we know so much about him and yet so little and I did speak about this on my Thomas post... We're given many tidbits on his life and his past primarily from Thomas himself, but we never know what he's actively doing in his life since he's always busy and off screen and I mean we do only see him in-game once and the rest are comic or ARG Thingamajigs appearances

And I've said how much I relate to Thomas personality wise, but like... Experience wise I actually strangely relate to Robert at least a little bit. I don't have the best relationship with (at least one) of my parents either, and I have a sibling who's kinda set up expectations for me that I'll never be able to meet - basically making me feel like the family failure even though I'm not treated that way (Except for the entire world being against me I guess I'm not going into all that)

And anytime those parts of his story are mentioned my heart drops a little not only because it's just... Ah man I kinda relate but also WHAT DID THEY SAY AND DO TO THIS GUY. Though I mean knowing what we know it's clear to make the a conclusion here since we know that they intended for Thomas to be the next head of THEIR company, but that's not for him and Robert was sort of left under the bus and wanted to leave all that and his parents behind and started COGS with his brother instead. (Like, more so neglect and ignorance than outright treating Robert worse, I suppose...? Buut-) This guy changed his whole fucking last name to not associate with his family though, so I feel like it goes way deeper than them just ignoring him and setting up only his brother for success instead and man my curious little brain aches to know BUT ALSO I DON'T NEED TO I would Explode I Think because Thomas/Robert lore as a whole just makes me fucking explode

Like, he's a bit tragic, but not too tragic. It's not like bait to make you feel bad for him, it's just about realistic and makes you able to form your own opinion on him... Considering his personality and how he acts and the things he does (I mean his company invaded the Toons and I don't think his idea of "We'll stay in our lane and they'll stay in theirs" is the same as the Toon's.) But it's like... Something that could happen and makes a pretty cruel villain character more understandable and like-able and gives him depth but I mean everyone be doing that nowadays with their villains. Soemtimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, the world needs more undoubtedly evil and cruel villains (most recent excellent example is Jack Horner in Puss in Boots and the Last Wish)... But that doesn't always work and there's diversity in villains

And y'know what? I like the fact him and other Cogs are this way. Does not excuse the things he did, yeah, but being able to have villains like this you can enjoy is great... Anyways, ramble about villain characters and him as basically the main antagonist and villain of TTCC over - (Tbh I wouldn't even call him a typical villain anyway, but he is still an antagonist)

I like how you can tell there's more to him than just an anger issue filled, overly confident asshole (though he is still that very much so, undeniably!)... He still can care for people, and he is a very caring father to Bobby. And what's a trope I like? Villain/Antag dad who's very nice to their kids? Glances over at Cathal and Allan? Yes I am aware I have problems

And the dialogue where he watered Bubby for Thomas I. I can't stop thinking about it. Maybe mostly on the Thomas side, honestly. But aurgh. This guy is being such an asshole in there and yet he still does something for his brother, even if annoyed. Like... Despite everything these two have each others backs. Even Thomas deeply cares about Robert, still, with how concerned he is about Crystalline and him noticing how she is manipulating and using Robert. ROBERT PLEASE JUST DIVORCE FOR GOOD. WHAT IS SHE EVEN SAYING OR DOING TO HIM I HAVE TO KNOW. THIS "LARGE AND IN CHARGE" AS HE LIKES TO SAY GUY. BIG BAD BOSS. TYPE OF GUY YOU DON'T MESS WITH AND ... This is happening in the background? How even is he behind the scenes, really? Same with Thomas too like WHAT DO YOU GUYS DO OUTSIDE OF WORK I MUST KNOW. does robert even like put up any acts ever or does the position he has allow him be himself more?? or feel finally respected?? is that the case? i mean clearly he does want some kinda power as well but like... sir you highkey made a company to spite your parents and separate from them and show who's better

anyways AURGHH This April Toons was just AURGHH yes THANK YOU!! THOMAS KNITTING CLUB!! MORE INTERACTIONS BETWEEN CHARACTERS! BUT ALSO IM CLAWING AND BITING! WHO IS CRYSTALLINE AND WHAT IS SHE DOING !! I HOPE SHE AT LEAST TREATS BOBBY NICELY WADDAE HELL !EXPLODES ! lets agree that

like PLEASE. CLASHCREW I NEED to know more about these two. im gonna explode.we are already given so much shit about them like arg apparances comic appearances some mentions from other characters and like with thomas like tons and tons of dialogue and being stuck with him in a room for like 20 minutes and him telling you ALL of this BUT. I NEED MORE THIS ISNT ENOUGH. CLAWS THE WALL CLAWS THE WALL IM SO NORMAL IM SO NORMAL IM SO

LIKE I!! cant even sound smart about this anymore these beasts just scratch my brain . okay . i enjoyesth them . anormal mamount

[cartoonsaint]

800 words, contains swearing and mention of benrey's canonical foot fetish, based off of this post (which happens to be deep in my queue rn). this will hopefully become something longer but we'll see!

Sunkist reaches the emergency meeting button before Benrey's kill cooldown is up. Under the sound of the blaring alarm he hears Gordon in the other room shout, "God, DAMMIT," but by the time everyone's audio kicks in he's composed himself well enough to sound almost convincing when he says, "What, what? Who called the meeting, it's barely been a minute, what happened?"

Benrey exhales through his nose, lips pursed. Not bad, but it's not gonna be enough.

"Grrrawf," Sunkist says, sniffing wetly at her mic for a solid five seconds, and reverse-sneezes twice.

fuuuck, Benrey thinks, watching her cast her vote and Tommy immediately follow. Feetman's screwed. Time to jump ship.

"W-wait, what?" Gordon says, voice way too high to be believable. "What'd she say, I, can someone translate—"

"i saw him too," Benrey says. "in electrical. feetman vented— me n' sunkist saw."

Gordon makes a strangled noise, and the sound of a socked foot kicking the wall between them echoes through reality and Benrey's headphones. He bites his lip to keep his growing smirk from somehow becoming audible.

"Really, Benrey? Did you really?" Oh, man, he's pissed. "Are you— are you sure that's what you saw? Benrey? Because I, I wasn't anywhere near there, so—"

"yyyup," Benrey says, casting his vote. "had to bodyguard sunkist all the way to the button, you were, uhhh—" He considers his words as Gordon laughs in disbelief. "chasin' us with a biiig knife."

"No, no, that— there could be an impostor!! And, also, what you said doesn't even make fucking sense, Benrey, because the game doesn't even—"

"There's two impostors, dumbass, that's how the game works," Bubby says. "I'm voting for you just for that."

"NO, I meant— the fucking, the Shapeshifter, they could have—"

"Well if the... person... they saw, wasn't… you, Mr. Freeman," Tommy's dad interrupts, "then where. Were. You?"

"I— I dunno, some hallway," Gordon says. "You guys are all jumping down my throat, how am I supposed to remember when I can't even catch my breath—"

"Iiii dunno," Darnold hums. "I was on cameras the whole time and I haven't seen you in any of 'em. Also, have we noticed that Forzen's dead?"

Benrey grins, imagining that twerp whining uselessly into his mic as a ghost. Benrey'd merc'd him in the cockpit. He hopes seeing Benrey pass as a crewmate now is eating him up.

"I'm the Scientist, it happened almost immediately," Bubby offers.

"Hmm!" Coomer says. "Gordon, didn't you go off with young Forcebeam early this round?"

"No! I— I mean, yes, but I didn't even—" He'd helped Benrey' corner him. Benrey'd smacked a kiss to his mic as Gordon vented away afterwards; he'd never loved the man more.

Oh well. Priorities change; shouldn't have gotten caught so early. Benrey picks at the scratched edge of his game cartridge as votes are cast and Gordon fumbles.

"It— guys, how do we even know they were telling the truth in the first place?? Both of them could be in on it, together, partners! There's two impostors, right? I bet it was Benrey who got Forzen, we all saw him go that same direction, right, and he and Sunkist could be—"

"Mr. Freeman!" Tommy sounds scandalized, hurt. Benrey bites his lip and pinches his nose shut so he doesn't laugh and spoil the whole thing. "Are you suggesting Sunkist would lie? :("

"I— Tommy, she was literally impostor the LAST ROUND. She killed you. She's been lying this whole game—"

Sunkist chuffs into her mic; the G-Man hums. "I'm afraid I… agree, Mr. Freeman." A checkmark appears next to his name as Gordon groans.

"Nooo, no, I— listen, okay, I, I didn't want to say earlier, but I'm actually the Engineer—"

"Nope!" Coomer casts his vote.

"FUCK," Gordon says, kicking at the wall between them again. Benrey hopes he's not hurting his toes too bad, though he supposes if he is then maybe Benrey'll have to help tend to them later… Maybe if he's good Gordon'll even let him try out the new nail polish he got. It's gonna really pop against Gordon's skin tone. "Did you all already vote for me? God, dammit, you guys, it— I DIDN'T EVEN KILL FORZEN, IT WAS BENREY."

"dude," Benrey says as Gordon casts the last vote, revealing: six beans for Gordon, one orange bean for Benrey, and a lime one for Bubby.

"Oh, Harold, how could you?"

"You claimed to be the Scientist, dearest, when I know well you're really the Professor—"

"BENREY'S THE OTHER IMPOSTOR," Gordon shouts. "WE WERE WORKING TOGETHER, VOTE THAT FUCKER OUT IMMEDIATELY, HE—"

His mic cuts off as his little orange bean falls off-screen. "FUCKER," Gordon hollers in the other room, followed by the crunch of delicate equipment. Red text pops up on Benrey's screen: Gor2inspanish has left the game.

[melonsharks]

you said you would be okay with showing us the thought process behind your homestuck au designs is it ok to still ask about that /gen

oh my god YES i love infodumping OK i made quick like notes over the designs but ill write them down too in case they’re hard to read. This is gonna be a lil long so, it’ll be under this read more.

OK fire things first, Gordon and Benrey were the easiest, so. When I start the trollization (lol) process for certain characters, the first step is always a symbol. (If its a fantroll the first step is theme, but characters Im turning into trolls already have their own things going on, so its all about finding a good symbol.)

For Gordon, it was insanely straightforward use of the lambda symbol, I integrated it in a few parts of the outfit, it was easy. Not a lot to say there.

For BENREY, I only used the INSIDE of the BM logo because I thought it looked like a helmet and I thought it fit them more personally that way. Using the whole BM logo would have just made it. Black Mesa. Not Benrey. SO! Little helmet looking thing. I thought it fit!

NOW TOMMIE was so fun. I decided to use the alchemical symbol for Pyrite, or Fools Gold. This fit for many reasons.

The name Fool’s Gold was interesting cuz Tommy is considered something like that i guESS by the people around him, and he is associated with yellow (so like gold + i made him a goldblood SO.)

BUT pyrite was used in the 16th and 17th centuries to ignite the sparks needed to use guns! People thought it was gold, because it looks remarkably like it, so. To me that is like. An underestimated metal that actually packs a punch. Just like Tommy :)

The fact that it was used for guns also helps, since Tommy is the best with guns in the team! It all worked out.

Dr. Coomer was also fun. He has my favorite design, I think. He was the hardest to pin down, but it all worked out when I found the alchemical symbol for Hour (as in time.)

Its a cute symbol and my first thought was that Dr. Coomer would,,,love it JDBDMFH but my second thought was the fact that Gordon relied (maybe incorrectly) on Dr. Coomer to tell the team how many hours they had left to reach the lambda lab! Dr. Coomer’s classpect was one of the first chosen so this actually also just happened to work out with that… Its pretty straightforward too.

I included the symbol in the little heart shapes of his horns (i love them so much), his belt, and a little bit of his coat with the rounder collar! The symbol also kinda looking the way I draw his hair is just a fun plus. So much fun to design. I really think it suits him!

And then there’s Bubbie, who is probably second most straightforward next to Gordon. The alchemical symbol chosen for Bubby was the one for Hot Fire. Gestures vaguely. Yeah, that’s Bubbie.

Its all sharp triangles, so of course I included the symbol in their horns, but also in their vest. Its ALL triangles. subtle enough to just be a sweater though HDNDHD but. The symbol is there. It was perfect fit.

So there is everyone. When I finish designing G-man, Forzen, and Darnold Ill write down notes for them too in case anyone is interested in those. For now this is all I have. Thanks so much for asking!! I love rambling about this junk. I put a lot of thought into everything I do SO JDKDJDM anyways yeah thanks!

[apricotzel]

“IT’S NOT A ROPE!” Gordon yells at the familiar cry of ‘Help me, Gordon!’ Dr. Coomer lets out.

The entire Science Team makes quick work of the…whatever it was on the ceiling. Barnacle. Sure. They’re called that now.

Coomer drops to the floor, peering upwards at the barnacles in front of them.

“Look, Gordon!” Coomer explains cheerily, walking towards them, “Ropes! We can-“

“Stop!” Gordon shouts, grabbing the older man’s arm and pulling him back. “Stop it!”

“What’s the matter, Mr. Freeman?” Tommy questions, yellow eyes wide and head tilted.

Gordon makes a strangled noise, almost feeling his sanity thin like a frayed piece of yarn about to snap.

“Let’s take a rest,” They say instead, dropping to their knees.

“Right here?” Coomer asks.

“Yes,” Gordon replies shortly.

“But we just got moving you lazy slouch,” Bubby complains, “At least-“

“I DON’T CARE!” Gordon yells, then immediately lowers his voice, “I don’t care.”

Bubby pauses, and Gordon half expects to be set on fire. But instead the scientist just grumbles something and stalks to the side of the hallway, sliding down on the wall. Tommy and Coomer hesitantly follow Bubby’s lead, until it’s Gordon on one side of the hallway and all the rest sitting on the other.

Well, almost all the rest.

Benrey stands there right next to Gordon, staring down at them.

“You good? Little baby man? Gordon Madman a little stressed out?” Benrey teases.

Gordon, almost on instinct, tunes it out. Their hands are shaking- their whole body is trembling like a leaf- and his breath is short. He can’t deal with getting into an argument with Benrey right now.

Benrey is saying some more stuff, but it all fuzzes in Gordon’s head like static as he rests there on his knees, staring blankly into nothing.

They wonder, briefly, if this will be the end. If he dies in Black Mesa, like he is so sure he will, he’ll be forgotten. Just like all the other people down here.

Right when they begin to wonder what the point in even trying was, they become aware that Benrey’s crouching in front of them, one hand placed to steady itself and the other waving as if trying to get Gordon’s attention.

“-don. Gordon. Gordon,” Benrey is repeating in a monotone voice, gray eyes burning into Gordon’s brown ones.

“What?” Gordon hisses, irritation filing in, replacing his existential dread.

“Are you good, bro?” Benrey repeats. This time the question seems less mocking and more…genuine, if Gordon could believe that Benrey could actually care about someone else. “You’re no fun if you just stare off into space. Like someone hit pause on you. You lagging?”

Gordon shakes his head, “No, I’m not lagging, Benrey. I’m traumatized. And fucking tired.”

Their voice breaks on the last word and they brace for Benrey to mock them. Instead he smacks his lips awkwardly, eyes flitting around like he was looking for a hint.

In one swift motion, before Gordon could even begin to react, Benrey slips from its crouch to mimicking Gordon’s position and reaches forward, cupping Gordon’s face with one hand.

Gordon tenses at first, ready to pull back. He reaches his arm up to yank Benrey away before he’s hit with a sudden realization.

Benrey’s warm.

Somewhere along the lines Gordon had just assumed that Benrey’s skin would be freezing. Chalk it up to being immortal or something. Having Benrey’s skin touch his in a way that allowed him to actually feel the heat from the guard…

Benrey’s eyes widen in surprise as Gordon grabs his arm to press him closer, leaning into the touch.

Gordon’s eyes slide close and for a blissful moment the entirety of Black Mesa just fades away. It’s just Benrey’s warmth and him.

That moment is broken by Benrey’s own monotone voice.

“Wanna kiss?”

——-

“IT’S NOT A ROPE!”

Benrey feels a small twinge of amusement hearing the physician scream. It doesn’t move an inch as Gordon and company rain hell onto the Barnacle until Coomer is released from it, dropping to the floor with surprising agility.

Like clockwork, Coomer immediately begins walking to more of the dangerous things, reciting off his tip about ropes.

Gordon cuts him off this time, screeching at him to stop as he physically drags the scientist away.

Benrey raises one eyebrow subtly, this being the first time Gordon physically stopped Coomer from doing something.

“What’s the matter, Mr. Freeman?” Tommy asks, head tilting.

Gordon makes a noise like this is physically causing him pain and Benrey fixes him with a stare, wondering when a good time for him to jump in and tease his friend would be.

He watches with a bit of surprise as Gordon suddenly drops to their knees. “Let’s take a rest,” They decree.

“Right here?” Dr. Coomer asks, fixing Gordon with a concerned stare that Gordon misses. Oblivious as always.

“Yes.”

Gordon’s reply is clipped and curt, and Benrey is wondering if their somehow infinite patience was coming to an end.

“But we just got moving you lazy slouch, at least-“ Bubby starts, insulting as always.

Gordon suddenly explodes- and it’s not an unfamiliar sight- it’s just for once not directed at Benrey.

“I DON’T CARE!” They scream, and then for emphasis repeat, “I don’t care.”

Benrey presses its lips together in worry, meeting Bubby’s gaze. It gives a gentle shake of its head. No. Don’t do anything. That would totally ruin the prank later.

Bubby huffs and grumbles instead, Benrey staring him down until the clone slides down the wall. The rest of the team follows, until it’s just Benrey and Gordon.

Benrey fixes his friend with a stare, as it casually leans against the wall.

“You good?” Benrey starts. “Little baby man? Gordon Madman a little stressed out?”

Gordon, for once, ignores him entirely.

Benrey blinks, because that’s not right. Their friendship was built on going back and forth- why wasn’t Gordon firing back?

“Whuh? You too scared to even talk to me? Lame. Lame-o physician man. Couldn’t last a day in a COD lobby. Probably got freaked out playing Skyrim. You can’t…you can’t even hear me right now?” Benrey’s monotone voice dips into something more concern-like, noticing how Gordon was being completely unresponsive.

Throwing a glance at the rest of the Science Team, who seemed to be caught up in a discussion, Benrey pours more focus into Gordon. His friend was shaking head to toe, eyes completely blank as he stared at the wall.

“Gordon?” Benrey prompted. It didn’t know what to do in this situation, and decided the best thing would be to break the silent staring contest they were having with the wall.

“Gordon,” Benrey says again as he leans down in front of his friend. Calling someone’s name gets their attention, right? He waves his hand in front of Gordon’s face, trying to snap them out of their stupor.

“Gordon. Gordon. Gordon. Gordon,” Benrey repeats until Gordon’s eyes finally focus on him.

“What?” They ask in irritation.

Oh, good. They’re getting back to playing around. But just in case…

“Are you good, bro?” Benrey stresses again, searching Gordon’s eyes despite hating the direct eye contact. Benrey never understood the phrase that the eyes were the windows to the soul. All windows just lead to more testing rooms.

“You’re no fun if you just stare off into space. Like someone hit pause on you. You lagging?” Benrey clarifies, still trying to scan Gordon.

Gordon shakes his head, “No, I’m not lagging, Benrey. I’m traumatized. And fucking tired.”

Their voice cracks and something in Benrey’s chest tugs at how utterly…defeated they sound. Something sad but also angry, wanting to grow big and promise Gordon that it was okay, Benrey can just get them all out of here.

But it can’t do that, so instead it looks around for help. What was something it could do to comfort? What was comforting?

Benrey remembers seeing people grab other people’s faces when they were upset. Is that good? Would that be a nice friend thing to do?

Gordon seems too upset to bare, so its the thing Benrey goes with, pressing his face gently against his face.

Gordon tenses, and Benrey feels like it fucked up. When they reach up to yank Benrey’s arm away Benrey feels like it really fucked up.

Then Gordon’s eyes close as he brings Benreys hand closer to his face, leaning into the touch.

Benrey’s throat suddenly feels tight with the need to sing Sweet Voice, and he swallows hard. An unfamiliar feeling, not unlike the one before, stirs and Benrey can’t place it. A protective feeling, a warm feeling, a- a very much not-a-friend feeling.

Benrey’s mouth has always moved faster than his brain, and before he can even think about his mouth opens, wanting to sing and profess this newfound thing he discovered.

“Wanna kiss?”

[spiltscribbles]

Im so excited!!!! Here’s a little “It’s always been you. You and only you.” sprinkled in with Green-Eyed Epiphany

~Notes: OMFG bubby!!!! You are so beyond adorable! Thank you So SO much for the sweetness!! I really hope you like this XS and fingers crossed  this fits the promptXS <3 <3 <3

.-

Prompt Smash Game  |  Send Me A Prompt💜   |  A Reblog Is Like A Huge, Warm Hug!!!

.-

~R: my mom’s working the night shift at the clinic👀👀

~S: Kinky😏

~S: I can be there in 15

~R: make it 20 and get Chinese x

~S: sometimes I think ur j using me for the food

~R: and bring henny😈

.-

It’s seventeen minutes since Remus sent the last text when the front door of his modest ranch house begins to thump with a familiar wrapping that’s three quick knocks followed by two slower ones, and he has to wrestle down the eager grin from his face when he swings it open to find one of his closest friends standing at the threshold in that customary  weathered, leather jacket that he found two summers ago when Remus had taken him thrifting for the first time, and an impish sort of smirk that definitely would look ridiculous on anyone else, but only makes Sirius all the more maddeningly attractive. 

“What took so long?” Remus asks mildly, pulling him indoors by the sleeve and gesturing for him to set the goods on the kitchen counter once they cross the small foyer.

“You wound me, Lupin.” Sirius retorts, quick-silver eyes flashing before he pins him against the island and puts his hands on either side of his waistline with more gentleness than Remus would’ve expected before they began this whole sorted affair— Okay, maybe that’s the wrong word for it?

It’s not an affair, or tryst, or carrying on or whatever the fuck else Lily says when she’s teetering on the wrong edge of tipsy and thinks it’s her right to call Remus out on his bullshit— on his stupid, beyond obvious crush he’s been fostering for one of his closest friends since junior high.

It’s none of those things— It’s not nearly as dramatic.

It’s just— Just that yes, Remus has been harboring a tiny infatuation  for Sirius ever since that first day of the seventh grade  when he had moved to this tiny, coastal town after his parents divorce. But how could he have not? Sirius is hilarious, and a genius, and so gorgeous that sometimes it feels like his insides are twisting up whenever he glances over at him. And on that first day, he had just caught Remus’s eyes from across the library shelves before classes begun, and smiled in that uniquely electric way of his, and asked if Remus could put slime in a very specific locker, (Snape’s), for a very specific reason, (Because he kept following Lily around like a creep), on account to no one suspecting the new kid. And yeah— Remus was lost on him an embarrassing amount from then on. 

Sure, it can be regarded as kinda pathetic on Remus’s end— kindling this nest of emotions so close to the chest— but also it’s not as if he’s been lovestruck by his crush, like it’s some sort of waterlogged scarf he’s got dragging him down. His attraction towards Sirius is like a soft melody that’s swelling in the backdrop of all their interactions, nothing overwhelming— not a flood plane, not yet at least. It’s warm, and it’s familiar, and it’s persistent like a flutter of a humming bird’s wings.  And Remus doesn’t mind pining over someone as fantastical as Sirius Fucking Black.

Graciously, in some strike of incredible luck, Sirius never caught on to Remus’s silly feelings, not until that night when they were watching an old movie in Remus’s basement while James and Lily were celebrating an entire year together— save for all their sudden stops and just as speedy starts— and Peter was visiting his grandmother in Tampa Bay. It was the first time they had been alone together since Remus broke up with Caradoc for the final time, and Sirius just looked so fucking good in that casual, white v-neck and his skinny jeans that make him look like some echo of James Dean on his best day. And Remus isn’t sure who exactly moved forwards first, or how the fuck Meg Ryan wandering the Seattle streets was some sort of aphrodisiac, or why Sirius— who could have any guy he would ever want— was actually humoring him, but one second they’re lying down on the sofa— Remus caged between Sirius’s expanse and the cushions behind them— and the next he’s tasting PBR on Sirius’s lips, and has got a fist full of his dark hair, and is thrilling at the feeling of Sirius’s thigh between his legs. And yeah— it just happened like those sort of things are want to do, and by the end of it they were sticky and breathless and diffident in ways they never been around one another, in ways Remus reckons Sirius has never been around anyone.

But the next weekend, when Sirius’s latest sorta— but not really— boyfriend had canceled on their dinner plans, Sirius wandered over to Remus’s bedroom window and it was another tumbling of frenzied hands and loosen buckles and thrusting hips. And then it just became an easy release— a sort of poetry, an understanding in all but name.

And that’s fine. They don’t have to talk about it. Remus knows that Sirius isn’t the type to settle down with a partner, to go bowling for a date, or texting countless messages that amount to nothing at all at the end of the conversation, or putting up with another dude’s parents taking photos of them before leaving to prom or homecoming or whatever the fuck else. And Remus is sorta sick of the idea of love, of trying so hard only to end up heartbroken and eating a gallon of Chubby Bunny in his favorite sweats and cursing John Hughes for pretending Hollywood romances can happen to ordinary high schoolers. 

So yeah— This thing they’ve fallen into with each other is good. They’re friends— best friends— and they have fun and they’re apparently really fucking good in bed together, and Sirius never looks at Remus with pity when he spots him gazing at his profile absentmindedly, and he doesn’t mind when Remus traces invisible designs against his skin when they’re soaking in the after glow, and he never treats him  any different. Sirius still slings his arm around Remus’s shoulders when they walk down the halls, and he still buys him his favorite chocolates when he feels poorly, and he still faces Dorcas's disapproving wrath when he drags Remus out of the library to have a little mischief— whether it’s smoking a blunt in the abandoned skatepark in town or playing some stupid prank on those assholes in their year. 

For all intent and purposes, they still behave the same they’ve always acted around one another, but just with the miraculous addition of mind-blowing and dulcetly ductile sex.

This is good, this is fun, this is completely untethered from the bull shit of romance.

And if Remus mouths against the juncture of Sirius’s neck a little too intensely— trying to pry off the memory of the hickey Sirius had been sporting after spending the weekend with Gideon Prewett— Well no one has to be any the wiser, and by the sound of Sirius’s hitched breaths, he seems not to mind even slightly.

“Except my apology?” Remus asks, more coy than he ordinarily acts as he drops his arms around Sirius’s neck, and leans on the balls of his feet to whisper against his temple.

“Oh, you’re such a bastard,” Sirius retorts, labored as all get out, kneading his fingers into Remus’s ass that’s only covered by the thin layer of his plaid pajama bottoms. “You are going to have to do a lot more for me to forgive the lip.”

Remus laughs in a stammering sort of way as Sirius tugs him along, walking backwards to his room that he’s become incredibly intimate with since the first time they did this three months ago. 

“Sirius, the spring rolls— they’re gross if we have to heat them up again.”

“I’ll postmate us knew ones,” Sirius insists, covering Remus’s mouth with his own with fervor. “C’mon babe, do not tease me like this.”

Sirius must’ve caught his mistake, because he suddenly goes as red as Remus feels— The pet name was to close for comfort considering their strictly friends with benefits nature, but Remus is already half hard, and he really does not want to end this, so with a sly wink, he returns to nipping at Sirius’s jawline, rutting against him in a very unambiguous way. “Fine, if you really don’t think you’ll need the nourishment for your stamina?”

The words have their intended effect, and Sirius makes a small growl deep in his throat before practically tearing off Remus’s shirt, and dipping beneath the waistline of his pants, scooping him up and racing to the bed.

And they get lost in one another beneath the pale glow of Remus’s lamplight and the moon spilling through the window, relearning each others every patch of skin for minutes on end that wax and wane like the delta of ocean waves, unspooling into something tangible and tantalizing with every kiss punctuated with teeth that Sirius trails across Remus’s collarbone, and the way Remus palms greedy hands up and down Sirius’s back until he gets the hint and undresses.

“Well come on, you’re not an invalid, Lupin.” Sirius jeers and Remus chuckles as he follows suit until they’re both finally, blessedly nude. And with an easy assurance of them having done this more than a dozen times now, Remus crawls into his lap and kisses him straight on the mouth, preening how Sirius moans against him— canting up wantonly and grabbing at his hips with a sort of intensity that will probably leave bruises in the shape of the pads of his fingers, and Remus absolutely adores the idea of that, feels something hot and needy and desperate unfurl in his gut as he presses their mouths more forcefully together, going buzzed when he gets to relish in the sensation of their tongues running against one another, and the taste of the ridges on the roof of Sirius’s mouth, and the slide of the soft skin of his inner cheek— gasping when Sirius pulls away abruptly, panting an almost reverent, “Mother of God, Remus,” and tackles him flat on his back before they commence, with the addition of both their hard,  leaking cocks thrusting against one another and Sirius’s hand in Remus’s hair pulling that bit more forcefully while his other one roams the dips and planes of his side— skirting against the divots of his stomach muscle before he wraps it around the pair of them and begins to pull in earnest, to the rhythm that Remus swears was strung from the heavens above.

“Oh— Oh, yeah— Sirius,” Remus breathes out in a haggard sort of way, words that he refuses to ever call a mewl even if they’re stretched out and crackle with emotion.

“Yes—, just say that again,” Sirius practically demands, his mouth completely covering his ear in a wet, hot heat— his teeth scraping against the soft shell. “Remus, baby, just say my name, tell me you want it.”

And God, Remus is feeling so heady— like he’s floating and he couldn’t possibly come back down— that he probably would’ve listened to anything Sirius asked of him, especially if he does that thing again, when he squeezes the slick length of them with a tad more force than they usually play at. “Sirius, Sirius. Sirius, please, I’m close,” Remus shrills in an unsteady staccato— his normally smooth tenner going pitchy and pleading, and he can feel his toes curling, can feel the eminent release coming— What he does not expect is to feel something poking at his entrance, didn’t expect to be struck dumb by the sensation of the tip of Sirius’s large, dry finger poking right there, right against the fluttering hole, while he’s still pumping them in tandem, and the second it hooks inside Remus goes a startling sort of static , sees blasts of white blotching his vision and his head thrown back and his dick spirting out heavily against Sirius’s deliciously defined torso.

And he’s just breathing heavily now, during the come down, can barely make out anything  through the heavy weight around him, the one  cushioning his head— but he does graciously feel Sirius’s cock fucking into his own hand against Remus’s thigh and then idly the feeling of his come splattering him, but then after that he can just barely hear the distant padding of feed against floorboards, followed by a wet washcloth being dabbed against his skin. So when he finally forces himself to focus, he sees Sirius cleaning himself off, wrapping it into the pair of joggers Remus was wearing earlier and tosses it to the corner of the room. 

“Rude,” he scolds with no heat, shuffling closer to him when Sirius lies down besides him once more and circles an arm around his torso.

“THat’s what you get when you’re acting like a lazy fuck,” Sirius counters, smug as all get out while he threads a hand in Remus’s hair.

“Hmm, didn’t see that in the papers recently. Is it a new law?”

“Yeah, actually just past on the senate floor.”

“Interesting… Well considering that only one of us has a senator for a father, I really have to ask to see the power-point you shared with him to get this bill through the stalemate,” Remus’s head bounces against Sirius’s chest from the force of his laughter at the barb.

“Oh, stuff it, Lupin.”

Hiding his smile into Sirius’s skin, Remus does as told, and they both just lie there, as if everything’s gone suspended just for the pair of them, just so Remus can count out the beats of Sirius’s heart pulsing against his sternum, and can feel the way their legs tie into one another, and can feel Sirius mouthing against his temple, blowing his curls with every exhale. 

And Remus thinks that he’d do anything to remember this exact moment for every single day from here on out.

But then the quiet is abruptly and permanently punctured by the sound of his phone chirping, and he has to breathe in deeply before separating from the warmth of Sirius, and fishes down for the device that’s still crammed into the side of his bed from where he had hidden it after that initial text.

“Is Dearborn still on your ass to try again?” Sirius asks, a bit stilted.

Remus wonders if he’s just imagining the tension twisted in the question, but reasons that Sirius’s never been Caradoc’s biggest fan, so he just shrugs it off— really doesn’t want to get into some stupid argument about his asshole of an ex when he’s still feeling so content. “Nah, ’s James. Still trying to force me to go to the homecoming dance with you guys.”

“Oh,” Sirius retorts, lips pinched while watching Remus redress. “You should go, Marls is pregaming and you know she always gets the good shit.”

Remus shakes his head while puttering over to find a new pair of sweats and a sweater. “Nah, just not feeling it this year— Erm, you’re taking Gid I assume.” He’s not sure why he asks it, supposes he’s always a glutton for some pain and shitty feelings to inspire his playlists habit, but also maybe it’s him trying to sober himself. Trying to remember that despite this— despite everything they just did and  how easy it’s always been for them to fall into step with one another— Remus isn’t good enough to be seen with Sirius in the light of day. He’s probably not handsome enough or cool enough or something else that makes Sirius absolutely revolted from the thought. Probably that he’s beyond bookish, and looks painfully virginal and isn’t nearly as sly or snarky as his other conquests.

Truly, Remus should just be thankful that Sirius wants this at all, he shouldn’t be so crazed over the why nots of the situation— it’ll only kill him trying to be something he never could actually affect with any credence.

Schooling his features to something passably indifferent, Remus pivots to face him again, is startled when he finds Sirius still naked and staring at him with a burning sort of intensity in his storm cloud eyes. 

“He hasn’t said anything, but I guess he’s assuming as much,” he finally says, running a hand through his overgrown fringe, that familiar twitch of the corner of his mouth grabbing Remus’s attention. The one that tells him Sirius is actually irritated about something he’s not letting himself say out loud. 

“Erm, good? Gid’s a decent guy.” Remus mutters, head ducked once it gets to a point that he can’t stand Sirius looking at him like that— Not after how blissed out and ferocious he had been groping every inch of Remus only moments ago. “You guys are nice together.”

And it’s like the breath before the worst of storms when his words collapse between them, making the pregnant silence go suddenly suffocating.

“Right,” Sirius intones once Remus levels their gazes, hurriedly standing and collecting his own clothes, fracturing the moment completely. “Right. Whatever, yeah. I’ll go to the fucking dance with fucking Gideon Prewett. That’s good.”

“Sir—“

“No, it’s fine. You can just stay home, and mourn over that douchebag Dearborn some more, even though you ending it with that dick was the best decision you could’ve made, Remus, and I’m not even saying it just because I’m petty. He is a prick, and you need to finally get a clue how much better you deserve, damn it!”

Remus’s head feels like it’s swimming. Why is Sirius so angry all of a sudden? Does he not like Gideon? Why can’t he just cut it off like so many times before? And why the hell is he petty over Caradoc? The entire situation feels like someone’s just handed him a wedge of Swiss cheese and told him to knit it back together. 

“What is up your ass?” He decides is an appropriate enough question for his floundering, and shutters back only slightly at how fuming Sirius looks when he rounds on him— clothes disheveled and fearsome glower heavy on his face. 

“Whatever Remus, if you can’t see that Dearborn is bad news—“

“I’m not pining for Dearborn,” Remus interjects, really doesn’t feel like listening to one of Sirius’s ridiculous diatribes about him, not now. Not when he’s still so bewildered by everything else. “Why would you think that?”

The fire in Sirius’s eyes vanishes as quickly as someone blowing on a candle, and it’s his turn to gawk, gaping at Remus, shoulders dragged down and eyes wide. “Wait— You’re not?”

“No…. I haven’t even thought about him for weeks.”

“Oh.” Sirius looks contemplative for a moment, before the righteous anger that only he could ever wear with such conviction, melts over him once more. “All right, then what the fuck is this?”

Remus stiffens, feels his veins lace with ice, an his breath catch somewhere in his throat, really does not think he’s ready for this conversation. “This?” 

“Yes, Remus, this!” Sirius demands, sounding harsh in comparison to the barely croak Remus had spoken with. “Listen I don’t care if you want me to wait some more, if you need to lick your wounds or whatever. But why are you like pushing me on other people? Why do you want me not to be around? why do you  want me to go out with other dudes?”

Remus lies back on the chest of drawers now, feels beyond dazed. “What the hell are you talking about, Sirius?”

Sirius clenches his teeth right then, the hinge of his jaw going taught 

before he skulks closer, not letting Remus drop his gaze. “Is it me? Is it that you just can’t see me that way? Are you just stringing me along or something? Because I really didn’t think that was your style, but if it’s that, then Remus—“

“Stringing you along?” Remus asks in a voice barely above a whisper, just needs to feel his lips forming the absolutely risible words, even if it makes it so something dark passes across Sirius’s beauteous features.

“Remus, I swear to God! Stop repeating everything I’m fucking saying!”

“Then start making  some damn sense!” Remus snaps, suddenly heated as he straightens and pins him with a proper scowl. “What in holy hell are you going on about?”

“God! Do I have to spell it out!” Sirius barks, cutting the final step dividing them and grabbing for Remus’s shoulders with a tight squeeze. “I know you just wanted to fuck around with someone after Dearborn showed his extreme dickitude, and listen, I was so fucking ecstatic that you wanted me for it. But I can’t do this in-between shit anymore! I’m sorry, but I can’t! And I get if this is annoying, but I’ve been crazy for you for so long. And I just can’t keep myself at an arms length anymore, not now that we’ve really had each other, not after you let me actually touch and taste and fuck you and— Damn it, this isn’t coming out the way I wanted, all right! Damn it, maybe Evans was right and I should’ve made queue cards like some dumb ass— But then James pointed out how unromantic that was, and Marlene said—“

Gently, Remus puts his shaking fingers against Sirius’s lips, effectively killing off anything else he’s about to say. And slowly, everything is beginning to slot into place, and he’s so spiteful over how they’ve been such idiots this entire time— swears to put salt into Lily’s coffee next time he sees her. 

“I didn’t know you actually were into me Sirius.”

Stunned, Sirius’s dark brows hike up to his hairline. “How the hell didn’t you know?” He demands against Remus’s fingers, thunderous and insulted looking.

“Because you never fucking said as much!” Remus defends himself, feels a mangled sort of laughter squirming out. “God, we’re idiots.”

“We’re?” Sirius asks, hesitant and red faced before Remus moves his hand to peck softly against his mouth. 

“I’ve been half in love with you for years you absolute ass-wipe, it’s always been you! You and always you.” Remus tells him breathily, still fighting down the last remnants of his actual, god forsaken giggle— like he’s thirteen again and getting buzzed off his mom’s peach wine coolers. “I only never said anything because I never thought I’d have a chance with someone like you— Someone so— so— Someone so amazing.”

The smile Sirius favors him with right then is something absolutely incandescent, and his eyes shimmer with a very distinct sort of joy that Remus wonders if anyone besides him has ever witnessed. “Then you’re definitely the biggest idiot between us, Lupin.” Sirius declares, knocking their foreheads together, and lacing his hand into Remus’s own before squeezing meaningfully.

“Fuck off,” Remus snorts, presses forwards for another languorous kiss, not feeling in danger of being swallowed whole any more— finally letting himself drown and knowing that Sirius will be there to pull him back up no matter what. 

“Oh, I could get used to this,” Sirius smirks, snakes his arms around Remus’s waste that bit tighter.

“Hmm, there is the problem that I usually don’t put out until at least the third or fourth date,” Remus says mildly.

“Pff, ‘s fine, Lupin,” Sirius insists, grinning beatifically. “I like you being a hussy for me!— Oof, careful with the merchandize, you were speaking some real exaltations about that part of my anatomy not too long ago.”

Moving his knee from the point at hand, Remus sticks out his tongue at him. “See if you ever get any ever again, Sirius Black.”

When Sirius laughs, it sounds like the strike of lightening against unmarked land, and the honey cloaked side of a knife’s edge, and like everything splendid Remus has ever known. And he thinks that yes, he could get used to this right back.

.-

[genesisrose74]

Christmas With the Karasuno Boys (HC’s)!!

Part 2: Kageyama, Hinata, Tsukishima, Yamaguchi, Kinoshita, & Narita

Part 1 (Daichi, Suga, Asahi, Nishinoya, Tanaka, & Ennoshita) here!

A/n: Tumblr said my word count was too much so I’m splitting this bad boi up into two parts :p Enjoy!!

*****

Kageyama

This boy has a secret soft side for Christmas istg

He HATES showing it to other people on his team and shit

But holy bejeezus he is mesmerized by the holiday in every way possible

Lights, sweets, snow, just like,,, the general magic of December is the most awe-inspiring thing to him

Since he is still a sporty and pretty active mofo, you decided to fuel that on your holiday-themed date as Kags had noted that he’d never gone sledding before

Your jaw was on the FLOOR when he first told you because he would 10000% enjoy the hell out of it

And so you dragged him out to this popular sledding hill that you frequented as a child and taught him what to do

Not gonna lie, he was kind of nervous

“Well you’re experienced at it. I don’t wanna mess up”

🥺🥺🥺 bubby

“You won’t, Tobio! I can already tell you’re gonna be a sledding pro”

Feels a little better after that, but he asks you to help him out for his first run down the hill

He sits behind you with his arms secured snugly around your waist and his head nestled on top of your shoulder

Which would probably seem really funny to passerby because this boy is tol and intimidating in most other situations

As soon as the sled started down, Kags tightened his grip and made this cute little yelp of surprise

But you were laughing insanely hard at the combination of going really fast downhill whilst also having your boyfriend cling to you for dear life

And then when the sled stopped safely at the bottom he started to chuckle

FULL ON, GENUINE SOUND OF ENJOYMENT

That shit is rare

Y’all stayed at that hill for half the day because it was so fun

You got him a new, very high quality athletic roller for Christmas because his old one was just not cutting it anymore

And you also gave him this really cute bracelet with a volleyball, his jersey number, and a little strawberry milk set of charms attached to it

It matched this really pretty and subtle chain he’d bought for your birthday

His blueberry eyes got all wide with affection dfjdskfjsdk—

Got super blushy and couldn’t get a handle on his speech for a fat minute

He thinks you’re the coolest person ever no I do not take criticism

Geez you’re both adorable together, ideal “stoic boy becomes warmer during the holidays around his love” movie plot and I love it

Hinata

He is all in on Christmas. Not a chance this boy doesn’t get excited as hell

Will openly go into holiday mode as soon as November is over

Was secretly already listening to his Christmas playlist before then

He is one of the sweetest gift givers, that is FACTUAL

If you want something really badly, he will take notice and get it as your present immediately

He’ll also gift you an extra thing that’s handmade 🥺

Like some pastries that his mom helped him make, or a specially made basket of soaps with your favorite scents in it

It’s absolutely adorable and you cherish those ones especially

Is happy if you simply get him something; mans doesn’t care what it is

New practice volleyball? A brand new sweatshirt? Elated either way

You had seen an advertisement for a friendly match between Japan and Poland’s men’s volleyball teams, so you waited online on the ticket sales website until the minute it opened

Spoiler alert: you got some banger seats 😌✨

Shoyo may or may not have tackled you when he read the ticket details, letting out his excited giggle (you know the one)

“I can’t believe you got these, angel! You’re coming with me, right? You’ve gotta! Thank you, thank you, thank you!”

Gives you sweet little kisses between each individual ‘thank you’

“Of course I’ll go with you, Sho! I’m really glad you like it!”

He will give you the brightest smile of all time — that shit makes Christmas lights pale in comparison

“Have I told you how much I love you?”

RIGHT BACK AT YOU BBY

Hold his hands to warm up together when temperatures drop pls :)))

It’s become a weekly December tradition to watch a Christmas movie with Natsu at the Hinata household

She’ll sit in your lap while the three of you are cuddled under a blanket together, and Shoyo will lace his fingers with yours all discreetly

In conclusion, I am a sucker for holiday Hinata 🥺🥺🥺

Tsukishima

His room is decorated to the very minimum simply because his mom and brother had insisted on him being festive

You know those holiday instrumentals that are really calming and jazzy and stuff? Yeah, that’s the only Christmas music he will tolerate in his house

While he’s still got his usual icy demeanor, this blond bitch does get slightly less snippy with the Karasuno boys

Is always on the nose with getting you the exact thing you wanted for a present

Like,,, TO THE SMALLEST DETAIL

You don’t even have to bring that shit up beforehand, he just KNOWS

“Tsukki, how did you—?”

“It’s pretty obvious, with the way that one ad kept showing up on your phone.”

b r u h

How does he pay such good attention without even letting on??

As for his own present, you’ll usually get him two: one gag gift and one more serious gift

His dino plush collection size is partly due to the former’s contributions this time of year

Yes the dinos have names

You exchanged gifts on Christmas Eve with all the team (you made him go) and he saved your more serious one for last

It was a scarf that you’d gotten custom made, which had a Spotify code knitted into the fabric

Scanning the code opened the app to a playlist you’d created especially for him

He got pretty quiet when figuring it out and scrolling through the playlist

Would let out a certified Tsukki Nose Exhale™ when he came across certain songs

The more subdued reaction was expected because it’s Tsukishima

His little chuckles and warmer eyes were enough of a giveaway to tell you he very much enjoyed your gift

But on the walk home, he took the scarf and wrapped it around you both, and then brought his arm around your waist

“Thank you.”

You deadass almost combusted because it was so unexpected??

“You’re welcome. Merry Christmas, Kei”

Way to respond calm and collected 😌👍

But on the inside your body was in freak out mode

He wears the scarf all the time jdfsklfjdsk

Yamaguchi

Take the most tooth rotting fluff you could imagine

And then double that and put a fucking cherry on top

That’s the equivalent of what Christmas is like with Yama Yama

Y’all are like kids in a candy store — literally

For your Christmas dates it’s all about sweets and shared giggles, so frequent trips to the candy and baking isles of the grocery store is a must

Making gingerbread houses, peppermint tasting (mostly trying those different and wild ass candy cane flavors), you name it and it’s there

Stomach aches? I don’t know her

Yeah you do but they go away with enough butterfly kisses 🥰

Tadashi is exceptionally good at decorating gingerbread houses for whatever reason

He put a poll on his instagram between yours and his final products and he won by a landslide

It’s not like yours was necessarily bad, more like he’s just an icing master

You also might have eaten too many gumdrops which left your rooftop lacking in ✨spice✨

But it’s okay because Tadashi donated some of his leftovers to you

He’s such a sweetheart uwu

Please for the love of everything get him something heartfelt as his present

You know those long distance bracelets for couples?

Basically if your s/o taps the icon on the bracelet it’ll send a little vibration to the other person’s as a notice that you’re thinking about them

This boy seeks constant reassurance, and you love to give him his deserved love and validation, so it was the perfect present

It takes a second for him to figure out what it is, but after reading the directions and testing it out, the most adorable smile erupted on his face

And then since you already had yours on, he tapped the little icon again with a giggle

“Hey there”

It becomes common habit to tap it at least once every couple hours

GOD HE IS SO CUTE

He is just so soft this time of year, give him all the love and he will return it tenfold ☺️

Kinoshita

This boy is absolutely an awkward cutie and an avid romantic

Give him the cliches and he will eat em up, no doubt

It naturally gets more apparent around the holidays

He’ll take you on pretty winter walks, give you lots of little gifts (while blushing a hell of a lot), and is just a professional at stumbling upon some mistletoe

Wow wonder how it got there, Hisashi

He’s quite a bit more confident when simply alone with you than in a crowded space

And that definitely shows when he takes you out on a secluded sleigh ride around town

Yeah you heard me

A fuckin’ sleigh ride

Horses and blankets and everything

Don’t even ask how he managed to pull it off, because he loves watching the cogs turn in your head and simply will not give you a straight answer

Of course there’s the nice driver guy who’s there, but in the back alone Kinoshita’s confidence goes 📈📈

Lots of flirting, tons of skimmed touches and shared giggles throughout the ride

I legitimately simp really hard for him

Anyways it was a gorgeous ride through town and super fun

On Christmas Eve you both exchange gifts together and tbh whatever you got him will leave him happy and flustered regardless

But when he opens the wrapping paper to find an entire set of vintage VHS tapes, he’s stunned

He owns a VHS (actually canon!) and honestly loves it to death, and the fact that you’d get him tapes of pretty high quality for his collection meant a lot

Gosh he’s so underrated but a definite sweetheart, give him all the holiday love

Narita

Another underrated bby 🥺

He’s so chill and is pretty open to anything during the holidays, so long as he gets to spend ample time with you, his friends, and his family

Definitely more of an indoor person despite being accepting of most situations

Hence why you thought a cute little indoor winter picnic would be right up his alley

Which it absolutely was 😌✨ nice work

You’d made plans while in secret communications with his family members about the whole thing

He’d been pretty stressed lately with trying to handle his schoolwork, while also helping out others with theirs

Despite being a wonderful tutor, it was clearly becoming a bit overwhelming as he tried to grapple with so much at once

So when he came home one day to find a pristine house with you settled on a blanket in his living room, he was quite surprised

There’s a cheese plate, soda cans in a cute ice box, sandwiches, snacks, a presparked fireplace — you and his family went all out

Really adorable I cannot lie

“I thought you said you were going gift shopping today?”

“I might have maybe lied :P”

So he gives the sweetest little smile and sits across from you

Y’all stay there and talk for hours

After finally getting through everything previously laid out on the blanket spread, you slid him a little rectangular box that he looked at curiously

“Already? I haven’t wrapped yours yet!”

“Mine can wait a bit! Just open yours”

And so he does, and you watch with a face-splitting grin as he looks down in awe

You got tickets to see his favorite rock band in concert while they were on tour

He sprung onto you and pulled you into the tightest hug ever

“Holy shit you’re the best I love you so much how do you get even more loveable every day—!?!l”

It’s a jumble of words but you’re able to put it together and it makes you giggle

He deadass sprints upstairs to go get your gift and make sure that you feel as equally appreciated as he does

In simple words: wholesome holiday sweetness 🥰

[juminsqrincess]

RFA + saeran’s petnames headcannons

GENDER NEUTRAL 

something small to start the blog off hehe~ here are the RFA’s and saeran’s (minus v because i literally haven’t played his route or looked at him HJGHGJ sorry-) favourite pet names to call you: (minor spoilers for saeran)

yoosung:

not gonna lie, poor baby yoosung is probably the one *being* called the pet names most of the time; but after a while he does start to get more comfortable and less anxious and flusterable (is that word? LMAO) when giving affection to the MC. he starts off very slowly, calling you the pet names when you’re both sleepy, or when you’re focused on a game with him, so you don’t notice it too much (though his face still reddens in anticipation to your reaction) and then pet names become a more natural thing for him, and just start slipping out- especially if you give him a positive reaction because he just wants to see you happy! 

pet names include: - honey (delivered with a cheesy grin, he thinks he’s all smooth and classy) - bubby (literally just baby but with extra yoosung sweetness added - it started out as something he used in his sleepy voice and then you picked up a liking to it- it still kind of embarrasses him)  - birdie (likes the concept of you being all small and fluffy- *is small and fluffy*- yoosung’s version of the classic pet name ‘dove’) - snuggles (definitely WAS NOT the name of his old teddy bear that he MAYBE still keeps as a SECRET to cuddle when he misses you-) - his little pogchamp

zen:

pet name GOD - shamelessly started using pet names as SOON as you two hit it off, this man is a pet name machine he has TRICKS UP HIS SLEEVE. bro. he uses as many pet names as he can to figure out your weak spots and then TAKES ADVANTAGE OF THIS KNOWLEDGE. it boosts his ego to see you flustered because of him of course - though he wants you to feel special too! he has a few favourites listed here with special meaning~

pet name include: - babe/jagi/jagiya (duh bro?? its like canon or sum) - beautiful/handsome/gorgeous - whatever suits you most~ (NEED I SAY MORE? SOMEONE AS BEAUTIFUL AS HIM WILL ONLY BE WITH SOMEONE EQUALLY AS GOOD-LOOKING?? he also give constant compliments be warned) - cutie (wholesome zen moment) - good-lookin’ (said as he casually pulls you in by the waist to kiss your forehead, wow zen you’re so smoo0th) -  sexy (IT’S THE BEAST BRO)

jaehee:

unfortunately none of us have really seen jaehee’s more lovey-dovey side in the game - she probably prefers calling you by your name the most, and she speaks it almost like it’s a praise, but the odd time she calls you pet names just as a way to appreciate you, or to remind you that she cherishes you. does it very casually and naturally, she’s quite a steady-paced girl so she needn’t force pet names to come, they just do whenever the moment calls for it really.

pet names incluude: - love  - darling (you are dear to herr!! she’s so busy all the time - moments with you are cherished and precious - you’re like a pocket of hope and sunshine in such a grey world full of deadlines and schedules... someone she can truly relax with!) - beloved - dear(est) - sweetheart (BCS. YOU. ARE. SO SWEET! you’re always looking out for her and being so patient with her as she works - you have a heart of gold, and she admires how kind you are to the RFA members - she’s truly lucky to have won a place in your heart <3)

jumin:

this man. this man is so nonchalantly smooth. he doesn’t even know it - or maybe he does - you can’t tell because he’ll just slip in a pet name mid-convo and make you mELT. when he gets soft... pet names are maybe one of his favourite things to tell you, because he gets to show you his more vulnerable and affectionate sides. he uses pet names as a way to spoil you - and spoil you he does because HIS VOICE *IS HEAVEN*, and the light kisses and touches he places on you as he speaks to you so fondly are a BIIG BONUSS. it takes him a while to start using more ‘personalized’ pet names - he sticks to the generic ones at first, they’re classy and simple - but after a while he conjures up newer ones out of his sheer emotion for you - only to be used in private though.

pet names include:  - the usual at first, dear, beloved, honey, love - AND THEN BOOM: precious (you are the most precious thing in his life HANDS DOWN. gets so sentimental when he uses it aswell - will whisper it to you before bed or when he’s trying to comfort you - nothing in this world compares to how much you mean to him) - kitten (yeah you thought i would stop myself - no.) - mr/mrs/mx* han (after you get married he does this a lot in public - maybe to show off a little bit and see everyone’s surprised faces as he follows it with ‘dear’ or something - he isn’t big into PDA but he has his smug sneaky ways of letting you know that he is thankful to have you) - HIS prince/princess/your majesty/highness: (DUUUDE... he wants the BEST for you - you’ve finally shown him what the wonderful feelings of love do! you hold that power over him at least! ...will kiss your hand when he uses this)

saeyoung:

saeyoung has... stranger more unique ways to show you affection, and the pet names he uses do not escape his whacky tendencies - uses pet names as a way to put a smile on your face and to make you laugh, to see that cute bright smile on your face! of course though, saeyoung has a (small) share of pet names that are more sensical and have some sort of more obvious meaning behind them. he starts off using dumb pet names, then as he gets emotionally attached stops, then he accepts he loves you and starts using really cheesey pet names, theenn he regains some of his happiness with you and becomes more jokey again (WHEW!). 

pet names include: (besides the normal boooring ones /j) - his star (you guided him to his happiness... you shone for him brightly when he had no shine himself - you cheered him up with your beauty and warmth - and you guys did kick ass stuff in his good end like it was a MOVIE or something – also spaaace??) - weird food names - starts off as honey and sweetie pie - gets weird fast... will call you his chip and his nurse pepper ( doctor is reserved for the drink - otherwise it gets confusing) - LOWKEY MAKES FUN OF YOU... if you’re short he’ll call you shortie - if you’re tall he calls you tallie (haha funny.) if you’re blonde he calls you blondie, and if you have freckles or dimples OR GLASSES - consider it your new name. also starts calling you after the things you wear - if you wear chains, he calls you chains, if you wear dramatic makeup, he starts calling you a diva - will call you noob i’m sorry - sweet cheeks (SEVEN WHICH CHEEKS-) - boople snoot (yes.) - his galaxy (the seven alternative to my world)

saeran:

okay so - it’s assumed that saeran is actually a DID system but i’m writing for good end saeran because um - lets be honest the alters were not the most healthy and probably wouldn’t have been doing any pet name calling (ray being too insecure, black suit saeran and unknown... being black suit saeran and unknown? it would have been sarcastic and mean)

after all of the hardships you guys had gone through... saeran was TERRIFIED that you would leave because why on earth would you want to stick by with him i mean?? all he had known his whole life is literally mistreatment he thought you were too good to be true. but you stuck by and you gave him what he had needed for so long - you always made him feel safe and he finally belonged somewhere, felt like the world wasn’t ALWAYS out for him, he could breathe easier now. very reluctant at first - messing up with you especially gave him paralyzing fear. but then you showed him such loyalty, he looked at you and saw that yes you made mistakes, that you were human, and you reminded him that it was okay to be human too. so slowly he trusted that you would accept him being affectionate back - he wanted to appreciate you like you appreciated him - despite all of the flaws he saw in himself constantly. (WHOO I LOVE SAERAN SO MUCH OMG CAN YOU TELL??)

pet names include: - angel (do i need to explain this?? you’ve saved his life - his future, everything. he sees you with a halo around your head constantly, even at your darkest moments, because he’s been there before too!) - flower (at first glance may seem like a cute thing because ray liked gardening - which sure part of it is that - but moreover he talks about your beauty when he uses this pet name, about how happy you make him, he sees you as someone delicate and gentle yet at the same time someone bold and bright - someone that the world NEEDS) - sunshine (you brighten his day, his month, his year, his life - aaand well a garden does need sunshine doesn’t it? you keep him going when he feels like giving up) - love and dear (too classic not to be included with a man that wore fancy suits JHGH)  - sweetheart/sweetie/honey (along with his big sweet tooth - he thinks you’re the sweetest person he’s ever met) - sugarplum (pls let me have this)

*mx is like m(r)s and mr but for non-binary folks :)

[bytheangell]

Take Me With You

(For my @shadowhunterbingo square: Traveling | Jimon, Rated Teen, referenced alcohol but no archive warnings/other warnings) (Read on AO3) “I don’t need a bodyguard,” Simon insists. “It was one stupid letter.”

“The letter wasn’t stupid,” Jace says, already regretting his appointment to this job. “It was a death threat, by someone who’s sent multiple things to your unlisted apartment.”

“Well, no one knows where I live on the road, which is where I’ll be for the next three months,” Simon points out.

“Oh, yes, the total inability to track you from a list of cities you’re going to and the dates and times you’ll be there. You’re right, no one will ever find you that way,” Jace says, his tone dripping with sarcasm and more than a little condescending. Simon isn’t a no-name, but he isn’t famous-famous either, and Jace hoped that’d make him a little less awful to put up with than Jace’s usual high-profile assignments. So far it’s the opposite - Simon isn’t taking this seriously at all, which is somehow more frustrating than too much importance being put on minor perceived threats.

Simon sighs. “Fine.” It certainly doesn’t sound like he’s fine with it, but Jace isn’t here to argue. He’s here to do a job.

“Great,” Jace says. “You won’t even know I’m here.”

---

That ends up being a complete lie. Of course, when Jace first imagined blending into the background of Simon’s tour life he hadn’t taken into consideration the fact that Simon drove his own van, which would just be the two of them for extended periods of time.

Jace can tell that he’s putting a damper in the way Simon normally functions during his tours, mostly because he’s quiet while they drive. Then he’ll say something, start to ramble, catch himself rambling, and fall abruptly silent again in a repeating pattern.

“Sorry if I’m cramping your style,” Jace says after one of these repetitions, speaking loud enough to be heard over the music playing in the background.

“You’re not,” Simon insists.

Jace is dubious. “What would you be doing if you were alone?” Jace asks.

Simon doesn’t even hesitate before answering, “Scream-singing at the top of my lungs with the windows down. It’s like, my tried-and-true road trip routine.”

“...so do it. Don’t let me stop you,” Jace says.

“My manager hates it because he’s convinced one of these days I’ll end up losing my voice before a show. It’s probably for the best I’m not,” Simon says before falling silent again.

Jace doesn’t push it, nor does he comment when Simon starts to sing to a song that comes on about half an hour later, his voice growing louder and louder until all the windows are down and he’s shouting lyrics into the cool night air.

Jace has to fight the urge to join him. Normally he doesn’t have an issue staying focused on a job but Simon has this disarming way of making Jace want to relax around him. Somehow what he thought would be his easiest job to date continues to throw surprising complications his way.

Still, he keeps his mouth shut and enjoys Simon’s singing as they continue driving into the night.

---

Watching Simon with his fans is nerve-wracking. There’s no telling who might be a threat, not when everyone seems so down-to-earth, much like Simon himself. There aren’t any obviously obsessive fangirls and normal tells like knowing too many personal details is just the norm, with multiple people casually asking Simon about how his Bubbie Helen is doing or about the cat he left at home with Clary during his tour, or the most recent book he’s been reading and chatting about online. It’s difficult to pick out a potential stalker when everyone knows what Jace would typically consider more personal details than usual about Simon.

Jace watches these pre- and post-show encounters with a feeling more like he’s observing conversations between old friends rather than a musician and his fans, signatures and photo ops aside. Simon knows some of them by name, remembers birthdays mentioned over social media or live chats, and even recalls previous conversations. It’s impressive.

Dressed in plain clothes so he blends in with the crowd, Jace grows increasingly impressed with Simon the more time he spends with him. Plenty of people claim to be humble, but few often are in practice. Not Simon. Simon is everything he told Jace when they first met. He’s the same way with his fans that he is in private with Jace, which is the same way he is with his family and friends - Simon’s just, well, Simon, honestly and earnestly and unapologetically.

It’s refreshing. It’s also just another thing for Jace to push to the back of his mind, because he doesn’t need to like the guy - he just needs to protect him. Simon looks up from the table he’s signing CDs at and shoots Jace a beaming smile, and Jace has to actively force himself not to smile back and simply nod his head in acknowledgment instead.

“It’s an assignment, Herondale. Get your shit together,” Jace mutters to himself from the corner of the room. It’s a reminder he repeats more often over the upcoming weeks than he’s comfortable admitting.

---

“Please,” Jace begs after the first two weeks of shows. “I will pay for a better hotel. Let me pay for a better hotel.”

Simon is shaking his head in response before Jace finishes the request.

“Why?!” Jace glances critically around the room. “Do you want to get murdered in a shady motel? Just because I can keep you alive doesn’t mean we have to actively test it every night when we could have a door that doesn’t look like my 11-year-old brother could kick it in.”

“You have a brother?” Simon asks, ignoring everything else Jace said as he tosses his duffel bag (because Simon doesn’t even have a proper suitcase) onto a bed Jace feels the instinctive need to run a blacklight over.

Jace hesitates to answer because this is a job and he isn’t meant to share personal information about himself with his assignment. It’s strange because normally the people he’s tasked to protect are such self-absorbed assholes they barely spare Jace a second glance, let alone casual conversation.

He’s aware that the pause he takes after what should be a simple question is way too long when Simon frowns, brows pinching together.

“Two brothers, actually. One older, one younger, and a sister,” Jace finally decides to share. It’s all he intends on saying, not wanting to be rude and not answer at all, but when Simon brings up his own sister and keeps talking, keeps asking curious, harmless questions, Jace finds himself answering without thinking.

Simon is easy to talk to - maybe a little too easy to talk to, because the next thing they know it’s 1am and they need to be up and back on the road at 6.

“Get some sleep, Lewis,” Jace says finally, taking a few extra minutes to secure the door before doing one last perimeter sweep. When he gets back he pretends he doesn’t notice Simon, still awake, hastily close his eyes and pretend to sleep the second Jace gets back in the room.

---

After the third week, Jace insists that staying at nicer hotels is a matter of security and finally convinces Simon to pull into the parking lot of a proper hotel. One with room service instead of vending machines, plus a gym and a pool. Jace tells himself it’s a matter of security as well, and not a reaction to Simon complaining about having several nights of terrible sleep and some back and neck pain from the old, cheap mattresses.

Jace certainly doesn’t correct Simon’s assumption that this is covered in the contract when in reality Jace is fronting the extra cost himself. After all, this is as much for his own benefit as it is for Simon’s, right?

That’s what he tells himself as he opens up more around Simon as well, sharing a drink or two when Simon insists (never anything enough to impair his judgment, and only ever when they’re back in a room for the remainder of the night), telling a few more personal stories, and… flirting?

Jace isn’t sure, but occasionally when Simon impulsively runs into an ice cream shop in a new city and gets a cone for each of them, or points out a storefront display with a leather jacket he thinks Jace might like, or leans his shoulder into Jace while laughing at something sarcastic Jace says… yeah, sometimes Jace gets the feeling that Simon might actually like him.

Then Jace just as quickly tells himself that it’s just Simon being nice, because Simon is nice, and because of course Simon’s going to be on good terms with the guy he’s stuck with 24/7 for two months. Jace is working for Simon, and their relationship is strictly professional, however pleasant it may also be.

It’s that hard line Jace knows they won’t cross that allows him to continue to open up more, because Simon’s safe. He’ll never see the guy again when all of this is over.

“You’re a good person, Jace,” Simon says one night after a lengthy conversation.

“...what?” Jace isn’t expecting that.

“You know that, right?” Simon’s tone is just shy of insistent, and certainly not rhetorical.

“Why do you say that?” Jace asks instead of agreeing, because… well, because he doesn’t know that. He tries, but he’s made some shitty decisions in his past, and hurt a lot of people, intentionally or not. And Simon doesn’t even know him, so Jace really doesn’t know where this is coming from.

“Just… the way you talk about yourself sometimes. Like you always have something to prove, or make up for... or like you have to justify everything you say. Sometimes I get the feeling you don’t think very highly of yourself even when you’re acting like God’s gift to mankind,” Simon adds with more accurate insight than Jace is comfortable with.

And now Jace really doesn’t know what to do with that.

“What are you, a philosopher now?” Jace mutters, still avoiding any sort of direct commentary on Simon’s way-too-close-to-home observation. “Go to sleep, Simon. I don’t need you too tired to focus on the road tomorrow.”

Simon looks like he’s going to argue but doesn’t in the end, leaving Jace alone with his thoughts in the newly settling silence of the hotel room.

It feels surprisingly pleasant to hear those affirmations from Simon, and Jace considers for the briefest moment what it’d be like to just be friends with Simon outside of their circumstances, to have these discussions and delve deeper into both of their pasts, humoring more of Simon’s personal questions and--

--and everything he can’t let this turn into over the next few weeks. Fuck.

Maybe there’s some harm in opening up after all.

---

They’re a little over halfway through the three-month tour when Jace realizes that perhaps his harmless crush on Simon is stronger than he realized. Jace watches from his usual spot in the corner as Simon signs CDs and sells band t-shirts and poses for photos, which is what he always does. But with every flirtatious laugh and every arm Simon drapes over someone’s shoulder or wraps around someone’s waist, Jace feels the desire to pull Simon away... and it isn’t because he’s in danger. It’s because Jace is jealous.

Jace grows sullen at the realization, arms crossed in front of him as he forces himself to watch Simon with his fans, because this is his job. The more he watches the more he doesn’t even think Simon realizes he’s doing it. Jace knows what active, intentional flirting looks like, but this is just Simon being his natural charming self, and Jace isn’t sure if that makes the whole thing better or worse.

Because it starts to dawn on him with a bit more meaning now that the way Simon’s been with him is the way Simon is with everyone. Jace just gets to experience it more often than everyone else right now. That doesn’t make their conversations special. It doesn’t make Jace anything special to Simon. And hell, maybe it’s just been a while since Jace spent this much time with someone else, too. Maybe he should work on writing off his own motivations as easily as he’s writing off Simon’s because his feelings are far from professional right now.

When the crowd disperses and Jace goes to help Simon wrap up his gear and load it back into the van (something that’s become routine for them, though not strictly in Jace’s list of expected duties) Jace is quieter than usual.

“Everything alright?” Simon asks, catching the shift in mood.

“Yeah. Fine,” Jace says curtly.

Simon doesn’t look like he believes him but doesn’t press the topic as they toss the last of the equipment into the van and head out.

---

The nicer Simon is toward him, the more closed-off Jace gets. He’s quiet during dinners Simon insists on paying for, stops sharing so much about himself when they do talk, and when Simon gives Jace a guitar pick he fashioned into a necklace for him Jace pockets it with a muttered ‘thanks’ without putting it on. He doesn’t have the heart to totally push Simon away, but he can’t keep growing closer to him knowing it’s all going to end in three weeks.

Jace wears the necklace every day but he keeps it tucked underneath his shirts where Simon can’t see.

Simon eventually stops trying to talk to him entirely, and they spend more and more time in uncomfortable silences. Sometimes Simon insists he needs privacy to work on his music and Jace sits at the end of the hallway of their hotel room listening to the faded sounds of Simon’s strumming.

There are three weeks left in Jace’s assignment when he gets the call that the police managed to track the letters to a girl back in New York: she’s in custody and getting a restraining order put against her, and Jace can come back as soon as he arranges transportation.

Jace hangs up the phone feeling surprisingly upset. This is great news for Simon, and he should be happy for him if nothing else, but that means this is the last night he’ll have to spend with Simon.

The last night he’ll get to spend with Simon.

“Hey Simon, good news. I just got a call from Luke and they tracked down your mystery stalker. You’ll get all the details once you’re back home but they’re already putting the restraining order into place, so you’re good to go.”

“What? That’s amazing!” Simon grins automatically, but it falls back into a frown just as quickly. “Does that mean you…?” his words trail off in question.

“I’ll be able to leave in the morning,” Jace confirms.

“Guess you’ll be happy to get out of here,” Simon says, his smile entirely gone.

“I do miss New York,” Jace carefully avoids the answer he knows Simon’s fishing for. The lie he should give, but can’t bring himself to.

Simon looks Jace up and down, his gaze finally resting on Jace’s face for a long couple of seconds, searching for something there before turning away without another word.

---

Jace knows he shouldn’t go to the show, but he does. He hangs in the back, a real drink in hand now that he’s no longer on duty, and listens to Simon sing the songs Jace knows by heart now. Jace knows from experience standing by the side of the stage that there’s no way Simon can make out any faces where Jace currently sits back by the bar. He plans on leaving before the end, before the lights come on and Simon knows he was there.

He’s a few drinks in when he hears Simon break his usual format.

“How does everyone feel about me trying out a new song I’ve been working on?” Simon asks. The crowd claps and cheers, and Jace shifts in his seat to fully face the stage. “This is a song about feeling a connection with someone, and not knowing when things went wrong, only that they did. And wondering if maybe it was all in your head the whole time...”

Jace feels his throat tighten at those words. He doesn’t have to be a genius to piece together the lyrics Simon starts to sing, fitting them to their lives the past few months, the hope of getting to know someone you’re starting to like, the confusion of being shut out, the uncertainty of wondering if they ever felt the same way you did or if they were just humoring you.

Jace knows Simon well enough to know that this isn’t a coincidence. It can’t be.

Against his better judgment, Jace stays. He stays until the set is over and the lights come on and Simon looks out around the crowd and makes direct eye contact with him.

Because fuck it. He’s leaving in the morning, and if this is all for nothing then he’ll never see Simon again and it won’t matter. But if he’s right…

Jace hangs back, watching Simon smile and laugh and sign CDs and take photos, acutely aware of every time the musician’s eyes wander over to where Jace lingers by the bar. Outside of the fading buzz from the alcohol it almost feels normal: hanging back after the show, watching Simon and waiting for him to make his way over once the crowd disperses. Hell, even the butterflies in Jace’s stomach aren’t new.

“You’re here,” Simon says when he finally makes his way over. “I didn’t think you’d come, since… I mean…”

“I heard your new song,” Jace forces the words out before he can change his mind. “I’d say I liked it, but that seems like the wrong response from the guy who made you think you did something wrong.”

“Not everything is about you,” Simon argues, but the intent falls flat beneath the nervous tremor the words are spoken with.

“No,” Jace agrees easily. “But that song is.”

Simon hesitates, then sighs. “It is.”

“I’m sorry.”

“You don’t have to apologize for not liking me, Jace. You were doing your job, that’s-”

“No. I’m sorry I was going to leave without telling you that I like you. I thought I’d leave and you’d never see me again, that it’d be pointless to get attached. I thought you were just… being nice. Because you’re a good person.” The words spill out of Jace before he can overthink them.

“You like me,” Simon repeats incredulously. “That totally makes sense with, you know, the way you completely stopped talking to me.”

Jace can hear the anger in Simon’s voice and winces slightly. Just because it’s entirely deserved doesn’t make it easier to hear.

“I figured it’d be easier to walk away once this was all over if we weren’t as friendly.” It’s still a shitty thing to have done, and Jace wouldn’t blame Simon for holding it against him. But after hearing that song he couldn’t walk away with Simon thinking it was over anything he did wrong. No matter the cost to Jace’s pride, Simon deserves that much. “And… maybe I was a little afraid that if I got much closer I’d want to cross a line I knew I couldn’t.”

“So you felt it too?” Simon’s words and expression are full of so much hope that Jace almost panics again. What if he isn’t half the person Simon thinks he is after getting to know him in this little bubble of theirs from the past few months? What if he messes this up?

...what if he doesn’t?

“I did,” Jace finally admits. “I still do. And I know I probably ruined any chance I had before, but if I haven’t fucked things up too badly, maybe once you’re back in New York we could meet up for coffee?”

Simon smiles, brighter than the house lights that fill the small venue now.

“Or… or you could stay with me for the last few shows? I wasn’t just being nice for the sake of being nice - I like you, Jace. I changed my hotel routine for you! I wouldn’t do that for just anyone. I don’t know if you have to go back right away for work, or something, but if you don’t I definitely wouldn’t mind the company. Your company.”

Jace considers it for a few long moments, then nods. It’s fitting, he thinks, to drop the formalities and the professional distance in the same setting he started to fall for Simon in. The same setting in which Simon started to fall for him, despite Jace’s best efforts to dissuade him, only this time with no excuses to hold him back. And if Simon’s willing to give him an actual shot after everything, he’d be a fool not to take it.

“Well, I can’t very well leave you to lug all your equipment around by yourself, can I?” Jace says, smiling. “Let me check back in with the office tomorrow morning but I don’t have anything scheduled. It shouldn’t be an issue.”

There’s a pause then, the air between them filled with an almost electric buzz of anticipation. Simon takes the first step closer, bridging the gap between them. There’s no questioning what Simon’s thinking when his eyes dart down to Jace’s lips and back up to meet his gaze again before speaking.

“Can I-”

Before Simon can finish, Jace’s lips are already on his in response. It’s slow and tentative, with each of them feeling the other out, but it’s nice. It’s really nice. When they pull away after a few moments Simon can’t keep the smile off his face. “That was even better than I imagined.”

Jace quirks an eyebrow, smirking fully now. “You imagined us kissing?”

“Shut up and help me load the van.”

The familiar banter and Simon’s easy smile are such an immediate comfort for Jace that he can’t help the light laugh he gives in response. As Simon looks back at Jace it’s with an expression so soft and full of kindness that Jace knows now isn’t the same look he reserves for everyone else.

Jace knows it’s a look reserved only for him this time - and with any luck, for many more times to come.

[batz]

i hc that the only ppl that can use the black mesa sweet voice are benrey and coomer. full hc under th CUTTT

in the past, when benrey was contained and under constant surveillance, black mesa tried to replicate the sweet voice. like, a man made version of it. bc hey why not! lets just do things for Science! find a way to weaponize it and sell it to the government! typical black mesa shenanigans. but after trying to Inject this power into Many 'volunteers', and watching them Combust right after, black mesa ditched the project pretty fast. (the name 'black mesa sweet voice' is STILL patented tho! the name just kinda stuck)

anyway, Years after this (like mid 80s), during one of the experiments black mesa did with benrey (this one being 'shoot pure antimatter at him and see what happens' bc benrey just cant seem to physically DIE, at this point they're just trying to see what kills him), coomer was sort of in the wrong place at the wrong time. yes, he was a quantum physicist, but hes only been working at this sector of black mesa for a few years so he didn't exactly have clearance to be in this area. an extra pair of helping hands were needed for this experiment, and even if coomer didnt have the proper qualifications for these experiments, he was dragged in last minute on a whim.

coomer is tasked with manning the laser and aiming it at benrey, who is just calmly sitting on a chair in the middle of the room. hes not even tied up or anything hes just chillin. coomer already has a weird gut feeling. whether it be the sympathy he has for benrey, or the oddly mischievous glint in this his Eyes. he doesnt exactly feel right partaking in an experiment that is literally just 'lets see if we can kill this person but like Permanently this time', but it is what it is.

besides, it seemed like a simple enough task. but bc black mesa is just,, bad luck all around. it obviously Wasn't.

anyway, shit goes wrong, as things usually do in black mesa. the laser meant to shoot at benrey just fucking Explodes upon activation, sending coomer through the glass and directly into benrey, both of them roughly hitting the wall opposite the laser.

the room is an absolute wreck, debris is EVERYWHERE, things are on fire, its just Rough. not to mention everyone in the room is dead. somehow excluding benrey and coomer, who were (again, somehow) both knocked unconscious.

benrey recovers rather quickly, as he usually does, and calmly follows black mesa security back into containment (not without being a pain in the ass about it. just being. horribly annoying). coomer, however, is rushed off to the medical ward. he miraculously survived, sure, but hes still badly wounded from the explosion. (he actually kinda dies briefly during this, but is brought back soon after)

coomer is. essentially comatose for several weeks. coomers wife and bubby making frequent visits just to see how he's doing (bubby practically hovering around the medical ward 24/7 since he already lives at black mesa).

when coomer wakes up hes just. different. not completely, hes still coomer, but he just seems Off. delayed responses, mobility issues, General Spaciness. hes sleep deprived/lethargic bc hes constantly having nightmares. he has this heightened awareness and its Hell. he had some minor problems with hallucinations beforehand but now those problems are Constant™. but most importantly, his mood also fluctuates a Lot, seemingly going through a fairly deep depression, with sudden bouts of anger n frustration. hes just going thru it rn!!!

it isnt until one day coomers emotions get the best of him and, when bubby is just asking him a simple question, coomer snaps at him. but instead of yelling he just. shoots red sweet voice into bubbys face. bubby immediately backs Away, Shouting In Fear, like What The Fuck Stop With The Voice Balls??? and coomer is Screaming but instead of normal screams its fuckign Sweet Voice and hes having a panic attack and bubby is having a panic attack and the room is full of sweet voice and theyre both a MESS hfskhdk security ends up bursting into the room bc of the screaming and. well. upon seeing the sweet voice coomer is rushed off the to medical ward once again, bubby followong closely behind.

coomer ends up going through INTENSE examination. from dozens of blood tests and physicals and cat scans and all that jazz. the scientists cant figure out much, but what they do end up figuring out is coomers dna??? that shit is WARPED. the explosion did something, colliding with BENREY did Something. intergalactic bullshit is Afoot.

coomr ends up getting better, close to how he was before the whole failed experiment mess, but hes still a bit different. whatever it is he Sees, whatever it is that changed in his brain, is v obviously burdening him. BUT he can use the sweet voice now and its a LOT of fun! very easy to settle friendly debates by shooting sweet voice at their face in retaliation!

black mesa takes a LOT of interest in coomer because of this though. at first he was just another expendable scientist on their payroll but now hes unintentionally become a successful volunteer in their defunct sweet voice experiment from years ago. his dna literslly shifted and hes still alive??? coomer suddenly has offers for further experimentation (for extra pay) but he denies all of them. mostly bc like... cybernetics and cloning seems like a Lot for right now like hes still getting used to the whole sweet voice thing,,, no thanks,,, fhdjdhdj

but yeah no like... its essentially the not a game AU version of coomers self aware ai-ness. instead of him realizing hes in a video game and that fucking him up, he just Knows Shit that humans Dont Know. he's just hyperaware of his place in the universe. hes kinda sharing some braincells with benrey and it fucked him Up. i mean who Wouldn't it fuck up tho fhsjsh

tldr; black mesa runs experiment on benrey, experiment goes wrong, coomer is caught in this intergalactic crossfire, benrey n his molecules end up all fucked up, coomer ends up with sweet voice and the nonvideo game equivalent of self awareness (hes hyperaware of the things around him and can almost see thru benreys eyes if that makes sense lol. coomer got fucked UPPP)

[tigerdrop]

hey i just wanna say the long posts genuinely make my day. also can you talk more about gordon freeman character because the way you write him makes me quake in my gay little boots

i would love to talk about gordon freeman. thank u for the opportunity

the first thing i need to communicate about gordon is that this dude sucks. and i say this in the fondest way possible. he is a bitch from the moment he drops into the world until the moment he goes out. if you dont believe me, give it another watch! gordons mouthy and rude for no real reason, at least so far as “being a regular dude on his way into work” goes, and this dude goes around calling his coworkers names with zero provocation. (of course, we all know that the reason is because its a funny guy improv stream that borrows a bit from freemans mind, but im talkin from a character sense.)

but my argument isnt just that gordon freeman sucks. its that he sucks in a very specific way that i find insanely endearing. i love this dude. i love to hate him. hes awful in a very mundane sense - weve all known a guy like this, at least if youve spent too much time online - and its cathartic to watch him suffer because of it.

gordons a smart guy. as written, hes gotta be - hes a recent MIT grad, on his way to work at a top-secret research facility to do weird shit with crystals and theoretical physics. but the thing about smart guys is that theyre often......selectively intelligent. we can see this in the way that he has a hard time navigating his surroundings, and needs the science crew to guide him through it and keep him alive.

this is one of those things that is a natural consequence of somebody going through the game for the first time, but that i am interpreting as “gordon is kind of stupid sometimes”. its uncharitable but its not like he doesnt deserve it. he likes to boss around the crew as if he knows what hes doing, when he often very much does not, and is fond of demeaning their intelligence. hes real bad about this with tommy in particular, treating him like hes a kid whos playing at being a scientist when tommy is actually a decade older than him. all i am saying is that gordon ought to stay humble. hes awful cocky when he perceives himself as better than others.

which, i think, tracks with how cocky he gets when he gives up on the whole “well-meaning citizen” thing and just unloads bullets into people. he puts up a front of being a Nice Guy, you know, just some dude caught in a bad situation who doesnt like seeing his companions obliterate every NPC they come across, but that doesnt stop him from cackling like a fucking madman and mowing down aliens (and soldiers) every once in awhile. when he stops seeing himself as helpless and starts seeing himself as the one in control, the gloves come off. he gets mean. and i think thats very sexy of him

this, among other things, is why i am insistent that gordon freeman is a control freak. he desperately wants to be in control of the situation at all times, shepherding around the science crew primarily by bitching at them, but its of limited success. its futile. sisyphean. tommy, coomer, bubby, and benrey exist almost to torment him with exactly the thing that would make him suffer the most: a gaggle of people running around causing problems for him, but he cant go anywhere without them b/c hes reliant on them to make it out alive.

its perpetual suffering, and its cathartic to watch. and funny, too. and if youre a little weirdo like me, its very, very enjoyable. how twisted up he gets when nobodys listening to him! how sweaty and frazzled he must look. its cute, and it also makes me want to reach through the screen and shake him and tell him to just be a little nicer. he wants control but he doesnt know how to attain it, he doesnt know how to play nice like a real leader. i think its a neat contrast to gordon freeman as we know him in HL2, where he literally is the leader of the resistance and has to live up to it. this is gordon freeman but if he was moe through helplessness.

“helpless” is, i think, a great way to describe him. a core bit of imagery in half life is this sense of railroadedness and helplessness, with gordon freeman being put into play like a chess piece and having no choice but to move forward. and this iteration of gordon leans into that by being totally dependent on the science crew in order to make progress and Not Die. and hes also subject to the whims of benrey, local eldritch weirdo who has basically made it his life mission to fuck with gordon.

gordons anxieties dont help with that. if he wasnt so fun to stress out and fuck with, the science crew probably wouldnt do it so much! too bad for him that they like fucking with him so much that he was driven into a panic attack (multiple times, even, depending on your interpretation). hes got that real neurotic mindset. always worrying about shit that could go wrong, and attempting to exert control over his surroundings in an effort to control the anxiety.

IMO the real way to nail the Neurotic Gordon Freeman Experience is to combine the ever-present anxiety with his pervasive sense of self-loathing. he openly states that he has no friends and nobody seems to like him, and to that, i really gotta say, i wonder why. he doesnt really seem to factor in that hes kind of a bitch, and has way too high an estimation of his own intelligence relative to everybody elses. its really one of the worst ways to be: aware that people dont like you, but unaware of exactly why. if he was like, 10% nicer, he probably wouldnt have had half as many issues getting through black mesa, but also, its funny to see him squawking his way through the game. so, you know.

its stuff like that that makes me headcanon him as a dude with low self-esteem in general. convinced that hes not likable, not attractive, out of his element......impostor syndrome, except that theres some truth to it. this is a guy who truly does not realize how good he has it: he really is just an average shitty dude, and yet, somehow, benrey took a shine to him. some poor motherfucker out there actually likes him and wants to suck his dick. thats dedication

also, i keep bringing up “repression” when i talk about gordon. and hopefully, what ive been talking about helps explain why. he has a strong desire to be a regular dude, not just murdering his way through black mesa, but if hes pushed hard enough he leans into it. gets bossy. picks up a cigar off a dead soldier and takes a long drag, before smacking forzen around with a pistol and ordering him around. gordon freeman is a regular, kind of anxious guy who likes competitive swimming and streaming on justin.tv and making anime references, and he is also a guy who takes a filthy pleasure in making a trained soldier his bitch. and i didnt make up any of this shit - this is purestrain canon, baby. this is a guy with problems

to me, this screams the kind of guy who represses a lot of shit b/c he doesnt feel like its morally decent. you run into this guy a lot online: the wokeboy, the online leftist, the guy who spends too much time on social media websites. (like reddit. i think he would actively use reddit and he would never get any appreciable amount of karma but he never stops posting. its sisyphean! cathartic.) from the way he talks about “bootboys”, i think it tracks. he knows about imperialism, he knows about feminism, but at the end of the day hes your average american white dude who struggles with internalizing it.

a lot of those dudes struggle with sex and gender issues. (dont we all.) when youre trying to be a Good Person(tm), you spend a lot of time thinking about your own relationship to sex and kink and all that shit. and i maintain that a too-online dude who buries a lot of his control freak tendencies would also try to bury a lot of weird sexual shit in an attempt to seem Normal and Well-Adjusted and not like a little freak. i justify this by the sheer number of times gordon blurts out weird sex shit as a joke. there are only two outcomes to making that many piss jokes: either youre secretly a piss guy, or you lathe-of-heaven yourself into becoming one. i will stand by this

ive talked a lot about why this dude sucks. now, let me talk to you about what makes gordon so much fun to write. first things first: hes funny! a subjective evaluation, yeah, but both in- and out-of-character, hes aiming to be funny. and being the straight man to everybody else plays into that whole “helplessness” thing.

secondly: underneath it all, there is a good dude under there. gordon worries when his companions get hurt, he tries to clean them off and patch them up, and hes got his lil leftist heart in the right place. you could even read a lot of his bossy, bitchy demeanor as him wanting to make sure everyone gets out okay and doesnt hurt themselves. when it comes to animals and anti-imperialist sentiment, gordons a pretty good guy.

hes the kind of guy who would probably see a dog on the street and get excited and play with it, but would get really prickly about the correct way to put dishes in the dishwasher. control freak tendencies.

finally, subjecting such a miserable, tormented guy to even more psychological anguish is really, really fun. you feel a little bad for him, but he kind of deserves it. so many problems he goes through are purely of his own making, and if gordon would just relax and quit trying to hard to maintain control - of himself, of the people around him - and own up to having Problems and Issues, he would be a happier guy. but thats why its fun to bend him until he breaks. being a little control freak myself, putting gordon freeman thru psychosexual torment is cathartic.

when it comes to writing his thought processes, the fact that he is canonically some kind of psychotic (yes, i am boldly claiming this. suck me) and i am also canonically some kind of psychotic makes it easier to write what i think his thought processes are. i just give him my brain issues of “getting lost in thought” and “overthinking fucking everything”. a touch of paranoia helps. even if i dont explicitly label him as schizophrenic please know that i am writing him as a paranoid little nutcase at all times because, uh, you write what you know.

paranoid. anxious. of the mindset that everyones out to get him (which isnt helpful when everyone is out to get him). repressed and deeply Not Normal but trying so very fucking hard to be normal and well-adjusted. a control freak with sadistic tendencies who also really, really likes getting bullied by his best frenemy. a hapless little nerd who sounds really cute when his voice starts to break from nerves. and, most importantly, a dumb jock. do not ever forget this.

thats gordon freeman, babey. hope that helps

[bubbyleh]

Good Things

angst w/ a happy ending cw for unethical science and trigger phrases word count: 8,569 (nice)

Dr. Coomer knows what he’s doing is very illegal and he could get in a lot of trouble. He does not work in Biological Research, and he has no clearance to be here, especially this late. But what else is he going to do, spend the night in his dorm room?

No way. Not since they agreed to go forward with the divorce. It’s stupid and dangerous, but hey, the worst thing he’s going to find is some half-disected cow or something.

And then he finds the tube.

He didn’t realize what it was at first, the back of it was metal and faced the door Coomer came in from. It was just a weird pillar in the middle of the room, he thought, until he found himself in front of it and realized. Suspended in a green liquid, lit by fluorescent lights inside and sleeping, there was a person. He’s wearing a medical gown, and there’s an oxygen mask and other monitoring equipment strapped to him.

“My goodness,” Coomer says without meaning to.

The person in the tube cracks an eye open, clearly having heard him and woken up. He glares at him before moving his hands in a manner that Coomer recognizes as sign language.

Too bad Coomer’s very rusty. Crap, he thinks he still has his old books somewhere. He waves and shrugs with an apologetic smile.

The tube person rolls his eyes, before exaggeratedly pointing at Coomer. Then, by making a hook with his left hand and a fist with his right, he makes the shape of a question mark.

Clearly this man can hear him, so Coomer clears his throat. “Well, I’m Dr. Harold Coomer,” he introduces himself. “I work in Waste Disposal. Who are you, then?”

The question catches the stranger off-guard. He looks around as if confused by who Coomer could be addressing, his dark hair swishing after him. When he turns back, he points to the base of the tube, where Coomer notices for the first time the placard at the bottom.

BU-33Y

“Huh,” Coomer remarks, squinting at the name slightly. “So you’re Bubby, then?”

He facepalms, but the name sticks.

☆*☆

[B is the department. U is the project designation.]

Coomer nods along as Bubby explains his name. He’d been surprised when Coomer returned a week after their first encounter, doubly so when he could actually understand the signs he used. Bubby still seemed apprehensive to speak with Coomer, but he didn’t tell him to leave.

[33 is my number, Y refers to the batch I come from.]

Bubby had told him a lot about himself, or rather, the project he originates from. The Ultimate Lifeform, Black Mesa’s attempt to make a perfect scientist. Incredibly intelligent, superhuman abilities, and government property. Eventually his testing is going to involve him working among other scientists, a prospect Coomer is thrilled by.

“Batch?” Coomer questions. He feels somewhat awkward, sitting in front of the tube. Bubby doesn’t seem to mind, though.

[Same genetic code,] Bubby winces at the thought. [My brothers, I guess. I’m the youngest.]

“Well, where are the other thirty-two, then?” Coomer asks. “And all the other batches?”

Bubby looks past Coomer, deeper into Biological Research. [Gone. Some of them are around, kind of.] For the first time, Coomer notices fear on his companion’s face. [They were out too long. They died, or fell apart.] He kicks, legs swishing through the green tube goo.

“But you’re not going to, right?” Coomer has to know. He’s just met Bubby, so maybe his attachment is a little much, but this person is so smart, so witty, so intelligent! To think he could just… stop being, one day.

[No,] Bubby’s got a confident smirk on his face, but his hands are shaking. [They’re working to fix it. I’m gonna be out of here for good someday.]

☆*☆

Their meetings continue for months. Coomer doesn't bring up his impending divorce with Bubby, mostly because he doesn't want to think about it. It isn’t a crime to want to hold onto the one person who doesn't look at him with pity these days! Besides, Bubby always redirects conversation away from his own feelings, why the hell would he listen to Coomer’s?

Well, part of that assumption is challenged when Coomer finds Bubby in his tube, fidgeting with his fingers with a distant look in his eyes. He doesn’t even notice Coomer at first.

“Good evening, Bubby!” Coomer grins, putting on his best friendly face. Bubby startles, going rigid almost like a goat. “Is something troubling you?”

Bubby shakes his head almost immediately, but seems to pause upon making eye contact with Coomer. He looks away as he signs, [Actually, you might be able to help me with this.]

“Ah, what do you need?” Coomer takes a seat in front of the tube, as he often does when he comes to see Bubby. He waits patiently while Bubby struggles to find his words.

[Do you remember what you told me last week?] Bubby starts, but after Coomer gives him a lost look, he adds, [About being a man.]

Oh, Coomer remembered! He’d been showing off the enhancements he’d received from the Cybernetics department, because while Bubby was familiar with their work, seeing it firsthand was a whole other thing entirely. Bubby was trying to downplay the fact that he was marvelling his Extendo-Arms™ when Coomer mentioned that they had done a few of his transition surgeries as well.

The look of pure confusion on Bubby’s face would be something Coomer always cherished. He gave him a brief explanation on gender identity, sadly not touching on the more intricate details due to time restraints. But Bubby had gotten the gist of it! And now he was asking to know more? It was a scenario Coomer could only dream of.

“Of course I remember!” Coomer exclaims. “Would you like me to elaborate on some of the points I made? I know I had to leave before we could get into my own lived experience, but I hope the general descriptions were adequate!”

[I’ve been thinking about it,] Bubby is obviously uncomfortable. [I’m not a man. Or a woman.]

Well that’s certainly not what Coomer was expecting, but that’s not a bad thing! Finally, a friend who also isn’t cis! He shakes his fists up and down in excitement, before rushing forward to scoop Bubby up in a big hug.

Sadly, there is still a glass wall between them. Coomer slams his face right into it.

Coomer hears Bubby laugh for the first time. Even though it’s muffled by the oxygen mask and tube, not to mention sounding more like a witch’s cackle than something joyful, it’s still the most beautiful thing Coomer has ever heard.

☆*☆

For a few days, Coomer misses his meetings with Bubby. Although they weren't operating on any real schedule before, Coomer had made sure his visits were occurring most nights. But after the divorce was finalized, well… he needed some time by himself.

Bubby’s rapping their knuckles against the glass the second they see Coomer, clearly trying to get his attention. There are less wires connected to them than before, the vast collection reduced to only their oxygen mask.

“Hello Bubby!” Coomer greets apologetically. “I’m sorry for my absence recently, I had a bit of an issue…”

But Bubby clearly isn’t listening. They’re enthusiastic to the point of stimming, excitedly pointing at the large button on the other side of the room.

Coomer walks over to the button and inspects it. It’s been here all this time, yes, but he’s never really thought much about what it does. “You want me to press this?” he clarifies.

Bubby nods, hands flapping so fast there’s no way they could stop to sign. They have that evil look in their eye again, the one that reminds Coomer how vibrant they are and makes his heart skip a beat. He presses the button without hesitation.

Immediately, the liquid in the tube begins to drain, and Coomer worries for a moment that this is going to kill Bubby. But the way they’re lightly kicking against the tube wall, anxious and thrilled beyond measure, tells Coomer that this is exactly what they wanted.

Finally, the tube water is gone, and the glass drops. Bubby takes one step forward, then slips in some of the liquid left at the bottom.

“FUCK!” they yell. It’s the first word Coomer ever hears them say.

“Oh dear, Bubby!” Coomer’s at their side in an instant, helping them sit back up. “Are you alright?”

“I’m fine, I’m fine,” Bubby shoos away Coomer’s helpful hands. Their voice is almost exactly what Coomer expected, pointed and snarky. They shoot a glare at him. “Where the hell have you been? I got the all clear that I’m not going to fall apart yesterday.”

Coomer winces, awkwardly rubbing the back of his neck. Bubby doesn’t even know he was married, let alone in the middle of a bitter divorce up until recently.

“I, um,” he stammers. “I had something happen?”

Bubby rolls their eyes. “No shit.” They take Coomer’s hand. “Can you grab my glasses for me? You’re about to watch me burn shit.”

Coomer tries to ignore the burning feeling in his face and chest when he looks at their hands, instead focusing on the burning feeling that comes from standing way too close to Bubby’s fire.

☆*☆

Things change very quickly after that. Bubby gets their neural implants put in—which they’re rightfully pissy about—but they’re moving forward. After all, limiting the government secrets you can tell is a sign that you’ll soon be around people who don’t know them. Besides, Coomer already knows anything they would have told him without the barrier, so they’ll always have him around!

Just mentioning that halts Bubby’s thrashing against the metal walls and medical equipment. Their hands still, their expression softens, and they tilt their head slightly, as if in wonder of the man in front of them.

Coomer feels seen in a way he never has before.

☆*☆

They wait a few days after Bubby’s “release into the wild” (as Coomer calls it) before visiting with each other again. Give Bubby a few days at work and the plausible deniability that he met Coomer during that time. But now that time is up, and Coomer’s excited to hear how Chemical Engineering has been treating his friend!

His friend. Coomer has long since accepted he has a bit of a crush on Bubby, which is kind of embarrassing to admit as he’s rapidly approaching forty years old. When you constantly catch yourself thinking about running your hand through your friend’s hair, though, or wondering what it would be like to kiss him with all those sharp teeth… it’s obvious at that point.

In stark contrast from before, Bubby visits Coomer’s dorm room. He insists that his own is nowhere near ready to receive guests in, and he’d much rather see what a lived-in space should look like. Coomer doesn’t mention he only got downgraded to this singles’ dorm a month ago.

The second he steps in, while Coomer tries to avoid thinking about how good he looks in actual clothes, Bubby starts complaining.

“What the fuck!? Why do you have a better dorm than me?!” Bubby gestures around him. “You’ve got, like, three different rooms here!”

“I’ve been working for Black Mesa for almost twenty years, Bubby!” Coomer explains. “I have a bit of seniority over you.”

Bubby rolls his eyes. “Big deal, I’ve practically been working here for thirty-eight years! That’s more than you!” He crosses his arms and grumbles about favoritism.

Coomer puts all his energy into ignoring how adorable Bubby looks when he’s grumpy.

☆*☆

“Harold! What do you mean you’re divorced!?”

They’re sitting on the couch in Coomer’s dorm, Bubby clutching one of his throw pillows. It hurt to bring up, but Coomer figures that Bubby would have found out eventually. He really didn’t want them to hear about it from a colleague of theirs that was an acquaintance at best.

“Well, I am!” Coomer attempts to keep a tone of cheerfulness in his voice. “The proceedings started just before I met you, and everything’s been finalized for a few months now.”

Bubby stands, and Coomer’s afraid for a moment that they're about to start lecturing him on trust.

They point a finger at him. “You’re telling me you have an ex we could have been bashing this whole time?!”

☆*☆

Though it takes a while, Bubby finally relents and allows Coomer to come over to their dorm, and while it’s much smaller, he loves it more than his own. It’s cozy! The two of them have to sit on the bed to watch TV, since there isn’t enough room for a couch.

Which is exactly what they’re doing. Coomer has a lot of media he plans on catching Bubby up on, prioritizing his own favorites! But they are currently watching an action movie, which he knows they’ll both enjoy. Acts of heroism and explosions? It’s like the industry was made entirely for the two of them!

They’re sitting very close, Bubby practically leaning against him. Not that Coomer’s complaining, they’re practically a heater. And given how far underground they are, he’s taking any source of warmth he can get. The physical contact is also making him very flustered, and thus, more body heat!

A huge explosion rocks the screen, and Coomer laughs. “See, Bubby! I told you there would be something in here for you!”

“Huh?” Bubby mumbles and sits up. They’re clearly rubbing their eyes.

“Bubby, have you been asleep?” Coomer asks, already knowing the answer.

They blink, the fog clearly leaving their brain. “Oh,” Bubby says, as if realizing that’s what happened. “Yeah, so what? It’s my room.”

“You have company!”

Bubby squints at Coomer, before removing their glasses. “I don’t see any company.”

“Bubby! You can still hear me!”

“The world is just blurry shapes now! For all I know, I’m alone!”

Oh, well if someone’s going to be childish, then Coomer can play their game. Using Bubby’s reduced eyesight to his advantage, Coomer snatches their glasses from their hand. They gasp dramatically.

“Harold! How dare you!” Bubby attempts to swipe their glasses back, but it’s a little hard to do that when their hand-eye coordination is shot. Coomer holds the glasses above their heads, teasingly.

“What’s wrong, professor? Can’t find your glasses?” he grins, waggling the sight aids ever so mockingly.

Coomer was not expecting Bubby to tackle him to the bed. “It’s doctor, shut up!” they growl, reaching for his outstretched hand. “Give them back!”

He does his best to shove Bubby back, but since he’s not putting too much effort in, it’s no use. Finally, Bubby’s hand manages to find purchase on the glasses’ bridge. They yank their glasses back, shouting a triumphant “Aha!” as they do so.

Bubby returns their glasses to their rightful place, smirking with their shark-like teeth showing. “You thought you could-”

Coomer suddenly realizes how close their faces are to each other. And that Bubby’s practically got him pinned against the bed. His hand lingers on their stomach, halted in its effort to push Bubby away.

Bubby seems to as well, as they suddenly stop talking, their cheeks turning a bright red that Coomer’s sure matches his own. After the longest moment of stillness, they abruptly fall back, almost fearful.

“Fuck!” Bubby curls in on themself, gripping their temples with their hands. “That was- it was nothing!”

Coomer sits up, tentatively reaching a hand out. “Bubby…”

They slap his hand away. “Stop it, Harold!” Bubby’s tone is harsh, but Coomer can hear their voice cracking. “Just stop, okay?! It was nothing!” They’re practically about to pull their hair out of their head.

“Bubby!” Coomer grabs onto their wrists, bringing them between the two of them. He looks Bubby in the eye. “Calm down. Breathe with me, alright?”

Clearly biting down whatever they were going to say, Bubby nods as if it’s the only thing they can do. Slowly, Coomer sees the tension fall from their shoulders, their arms going slack. After a few rounds of breathing, Bubby gently draws their hands back, and Coomer lets them.

“Now, what’s the matter with you?” Coomer moves to sit beside Bubby. “And don’t you dare say it’s nothing, again.”

Bubby drops their head onto their knees. “I know you’re in love with me, Coomer. You’re like a puppy, it’s not hard to read you.”

Coomer sighs. This is a rejection, then? As a divorced man, Coomer should be used to this, but… he isn’t. Not from Bubby.

Bubby looks back up at him. “And I know what you want in a relationship, and it’s not me.”

Huh?

“Not you?” The concept is so absurd that Coomer’s sure he must not have heard them correctly.

“Actual person things!” Bubby gestures to the ceiling as they speak. “Like going to the surface, or living together, or going to nice restaurants!” They frown. “I can’t give you that.”

A beat passes while Coomer figures out how to respond to that.

“You know you’re wrong, right?”

Now it’s Bubby’s turn to look confused. “What?”

“While those things are nice, I don’t need any of them in a romantic relationship.” He takes Bubby’s hand. “I just need someone who’s nice to spend time with and is willing to put the effort in.”

Bubby’s face turns bright red again. “Oh,” they say, squeezing Coomer’s hand. “Well, I can do that.”

“Can you?” Coomer’s mostly joking, still riding the high of mutual romantic feelings, but Bubby takes it seriously.

“Of course I can!” They throw their arms around his shoulders, a stupid grin now spread across their face from cheek to cheek. “Just you wait, Harold, I’m going to romance the socks off of you!”

For the second time today, their faces are inches apart.

Bubby doesn’t back away this time. “I can kiss you, right?”

“Oh most definitely,” Coomer responds.

It turns out, kissing Bubby is everything Coomer had hoped it would be and more. Their lips are warm, and the feeling of them smiling into the kiss as they grip the back of his shirt, pulling him closer, is one he’ll never forget.

☆*☆

There are certain things you don’t notice about a person until you spend a night with them. After sharing a bed with Bubby a few times, Coomer comes to several realizations.

The first is that Bubby sleeps like a log. Seriously, Coomer would have expected them to be at least a little bit twitchy. But the second Bubby’s out, they aren’t moving again until the morning.

Which is difficult in combination with the second item: Bubby is a clinger. It’s cute to see someone who’s usually so standoffish be completely affectionate at night, but not so much when Coomer feels pins and needles in his arm and he’s physically incapable of moving it out from between the two of them without waking his partner.

And waking them up is a bad idea because of the third realization, which is that Bubby is not a morning person in the slightest. Coomer already had a sense of this from their first meeting, but Bubby absolutely HATES waking up for the day. They practically need to be lured to the lab with a trail of coffee mugs every morning.

But their annoying sleeping habits aside, Coomer thinks it’s worth it. After all, he gets to hold Bubby for a whole night! Listening to them breathing, running his hand through their hair (they’re starting to go gray), he has never felt more at peace.

☆*☆

Coomer finds Bubby waiting for him outside his dorm room, standing there with his arms crossed and tapping his foot rapidly. His scowl immediately melts into a smile the second he spots him.

“Well, hello there Bubby!” Coomer waves. “What are you doing here so early? I thought our departments let out at the same time.”

“Harold, you will not believe the day I’ve had.” Bubby places a hand on Coomer’s back, serving as both affection and a way to rush him through unlocking the door. “Some idiot almost blew up the entire lab!”

Coomer turns the key and opens the door. “Well that’s not good! What happened?”

Bubby brushes past him, plopping himself on the couch with great flourish. “The man was clearly ignoring proper lab safety! The whole experiment burst into flames while his back was turned!” He seems strangely satisfied as he speaks, a look Coomer would know anywhere. “We got the rest of the day off because of his arrogance.”

Taking a seat next to him, Coomer narrows his eyes at Bubby. “Darling, you didn’t.”

“I didn’t say anything!” Bubby raises his hands in the air, feigning innocence long enough that Coomer almost begins to feel bad. Then he gets that wicked grin on his face again. “I did, though. I spent the afternoon eating chips in my dorm, and it was a million times better than working for this hell facility.”

“Bubby! You were supposed to bring those chips here with you!” Coomer chides him, but in reality, he doesn’t care that much. He’s proud his wonderful partner fucked over the system just a bit.

Bubby stares at him blankly for a moment. “Oh yeah! I forgot about that.” He shrugs. “They were good, though.”

“I’m sure they were,” Coomer sighs, but his obvious smile shows no ill-will behind it.

☆*☆

Over the years, the folks over at Biological Research get a bit more lenient with Bubby. They’re finally able to see some of Black Mesa's surface facilities, which are mostly just a few upper-level labs. The only condition is that Bubby is not allowed to leave the property.

That’s fine for both of them, though. There’s a lot to do on the surface if you’ve never been there before, and they end up sitting in the sunshine together, talking about things they definitely would have talked about below-ground as well. Bubby seems to enjoy the sun on their skin, acting a lot like a lizard basking in a bright light.

“I see you’re having fun,” Coomer chuckles.

Bubby is laying flat on their back, and even though Coomer knows they’ll yell at him for letting them lay down in the dirt, right now he can’t bring himself to stop them.

“It’s so warm out, Harold!” Bubby exclaims, wearing the happiest grin ever. “You know I love the warm!”

When the sky begins to darken and the temperature cools, Bubby sits back up and scooches over to join Coomer against one of the rock outcroppings that litter Black Mesa. They stretch their arm out, subtly wrapping it around Coomer’s shoulders and leaning their head against his.

“You know I love you, Harold,” they whisper. Coomer has never seen them look so peaceful before.

Coomer beams, taking hold of Bubby’s free hand and kissing his partner at the same time. “Of course,” he replies. “And I love you.”

They’re quiet for a few minutes, watching the last of the sun’s rays dip below the horizon. Bubby’s gaze turns to the stars above them. Being out in the middle of nowhere, Black Mesa has very little light pollution. No matter how bright the stars may look, though, Coomer thinks there’s no way they can be brighter than Bubby’s eyes right now.

“They can’t program stuff like this into a person,” Bubby remarks, eyes still glued to the sky. “I’ve known about stars and love my whole life, but…” They falter, their expression becoming grim for the briefest of seconds. Then, they look back at Coomer. “Experiencing it is something different.”

Coomer doesn’t need to respond, not vocally. He pulls Bubby into the biggest bear hug he can muster.

“Ack! Coomer!” Bubby grunts. “Not all of us are ninety-percent metal!”

“Forty-seven point five!” Coomer corrects them, but he releases Bubby with an apologetic head pat. “I’m sorry, though. I just love you too much! I want to hug you all the time!”

Bubby’s face goes red immediately. Even after all these years together, Coomer can still make them blush as though it were their first date all over again.

“Yeah! W-well!” they stammer. “Good! You should want to do that!”

Choking back his laughter, Coomer pulls Bubby in for another, more gentle hug.

☆*☆

They’re curled up on his couch late one night, watching an old movie when Coomer decides to bring up the elephant in the room.

Coomer stops running his hand through Bubby’s hair. “Your hairline is receding. You know that, right?”

Bubby immediately sits up from where he was resting on Coomer’s chest. “Shut the fuck-”

“I was just saying!”

“I do not want to hear it!”

“Bubby, dear, you’re completely gray already. My hairline is also receding!”

“Yeah, well.” Bubby crosses his arms, turning away from Coomer. “You’re a year older than me, so that makes sense.”

Coomer shakes his head. “Well, I suppose there’s only one way to settle this.”

Bubby gasps. “You wouldn’t!” He scrambles to the other side of the couch. “Stay away from me, you bastard!”

“A fight to the death!”

And with that, Coomer lunges.

☆*☆

All good things must come to an end. It’s a concept Coomer is intimately familiar with.

☆*☆

The morning begins in Coomer’s kitchenette, Bubby hunched over the table drinking their coffee out of a mug that says “Total Stud” on it. A gift from three years ago. As they rub the sleep from their eyes, Coomer bounces around preparing breakfast for the both of them.

“You’re heading back down to Biological Research again today, aren’t you?” Coomer asks over his shoulder as he fries a few eggs.

Out of the corner of his eye, Coomer spots Bubby signing, [Yes.] Must be a rough morning, then.

“Medical checkup?” Coomer asks, slipping their eggs onto two plates and serving one to his partner. But Bubby ignores him. They pointedly hold the mug with both hands, taking a long and drawn-out sip.

Coomer bites his cheek as he sits across from Bubby. “You know, they’re dragging me into another meeting down there today.”

[Clone thing?] Bubby absentmindedly picks at their eggs. Scrambled, just how they like them.

“I believe so,” Coomer sighs. “You’re sure it’s different from you?”

Bubby nods. [It’s just you in two bodies. Wasn’t like that for me.]

While it’s a relief that there aren’t going to be any more children brought up in Black Mesa like Bubby was, Coomer’s still not entirely sure he likes the implications of the alternative. A hivemind of himself just wandering around the facility? Is that something he wants?

“But, anyway.” Coomer got sidetracked. “I was thinking we could head down there toge-”

That wakes Bubby up more than coffee ever could. “No!” they shout, rising from their chair in an instant. The second they register their panic, though, it’s gone. “It’s… we shouldn’t go together. I’ll probably leave after we eat.”

Maybe it’s the way they look into his eyes, like a caged animal, but something about what Bubby says next sticks with him for the rest of the day.

“They aren’t good people, Harold.”

☆*☆

Coomer catches sight of Bubby as he’s rushed into one of the offices, through a window into a test chamber. They’re back in a medical gown again (that hurts to see), shoulders slumped as a scientist speaks to them. Their eyes meet for the briefest of seconds, Bubby offering him a small smile, which Coomer returns.

Then the scientist snaps at Bubby, who immediately goes rigid and turns away from Coomer.

☆*☆

“To put it simply, Dr. Coomer, the sequencing of your DNA is ideal for mass-producing clones.”

The man in front of him—Dr. Daniels, as the nameplate on his desk reads—smirks as he speaks, and it isn’t at all close to the endearing ones Bubby has. It’s cold, calculating, and makes Coomer want to squirm. When you’re the head of Biological Research, you get to be intimidating.

In the back of his head, Coomer hears Bubby’s warning. ‘They aren’t good people, Harold.’

“How did you get my DNA in the first place?” Coomer inquires, because he knows for a fact he hasn’t given them any.

Dr. Daniels just laughs at him, more mocking than assuring. “Cybernetics had a few samples on record, in the event of complications during surgery,” he says. “It wasn’t hard to get ahold of them.”

Coomer frowns. Damn, he didn’t think those were still around. ‘They aren’t good people, Harold.’

“You see, I’m worried about the shared consciousness,” Coomer looks for an out. There’s a strange noise in the hallway, but it’s easy enough to ignore. “They’d just be mindless extensions of myself?”

“That’s a simplification, but yes,” Dr. Daniels begins rifling through his desk drawers. “I apologize, I swear I had a paper here that would explain it better.” His brow furrows, but he’s interrupted when

CRASH!!

Another noise from the hallway, this time even louder than before. And people are shouting. It startles the both of them.

Dr. Daniels grumbles, “What the hell is happening out there?”

The office door flies off its hinges in a fiery burst of energy, and a figure steps in. And figure is the right word, because it’s difficult to make out any features beyond pure black and literally engulfed in flame.

Oh fuck.

That’s Bubby, isn’t it?

They look between the two people in the office, finally settling on Dr. Daniels. They point towards him as they speak.

“You.” Their voice is full of malice, more than Coomer’s ever heard from them before. They take a shambling step forward, leaving a trail of fires and scorch marks behind them as they walk. “Get away from him.”

But Dr. Daniels makes no move. “Now, now, Subject 33, there’s no need for this.”

Bubby is careful to avoid Coomer in his approach, made easier by the fact that Coomer has retreated to the side of the office. He can’t really escape without jumping through fire, and, well…

He can’t leave Bubby.

“I’m not going to let you hurt him,” Bubby hisses, climbing onto the desk and raising a hand to strike. “Not like you hurt me.”

Dr. Daniels isn’t afraid. He only shoots a disappointed glance Coomer’s way. “I see.”

He turns his attention back to Bubby. “Thirty-three drop.”

They’re just words, but they have an obvious effect on Bubby. Their flames extinguish immediately, leaving them smoking slightly. Their limbs go slack, and they fall backwards off the desk.

For a moment, Coomer is convinced Daniels killed them.

“What a shame,” Daniels walks around the desk, grabbing onto the back of Bubby’s medical gown. “You were doing such good work in Chemical Engineering. We’ll have to move you, now.”

As Daniels drags Bubby behind him, Coomer meets their eyes again. Despite the limpness in their body, Bubby is wide awake and begging, pleading for help.

But Coomer is frozen still.

Daniels unceremoniously drops Bubby in the hallway, calling out to the survivors of Bubby’s rampage to put them back in the tube for now. He closes the door after that and looks at Coomer.

“Now, as for you…”

‘They aren’t good people, Harold.’

☆*☆

All good things must come to an end.

But, thinking back on it, Bubby wasn’t just a good thing. No, the term “good thing” is not enough to describe the impact they left on Harold Coomer’s life. He knows it isn’t, not with the way he wakes up cold every morning, reaching for a warmth that isn’t there. Coomer finds himself boxing up leftovers more often than not, making enough food for two out of habit. He cries whenever he finds something in his dorm that Bubby left behind, like their mug or a sweater.

All good things must come to an end, but Bubby was more than that. Bubby was always more than people wanted them to be, everyone except Coomer. And when you spend so long living with so much, the absence is terrifyingly empty.

Bubby was an inferno. Bubby was the stars in their eyes. Bubby was passion, and intellect, and bravery, and cowardice, all in one.

Bubby was loved.

☆*☆

It goes like this.

Coomer is transferred to Biological Research, where they can keep an eye on him. He is not given a choice. He will participate in the cloning experiments, and he’ll live with it.

Bubby’s been transferred somewhere else. Their dorm has been moved. Coomer is not to speak with them again, under any circumstance.

Life continues, but it doesn’t move on.

☆*☆

Several times a day, Coomer catches himself thinking about Bubby.

‘What are they doing right now?’

‘Where are they?’

‘I miss them.’

‘Bubby would love this.’

‘Bubby would hate this.’

‘I should tell Bubby about this!’

It always hurts.

☆*☆

Coomer has to figure out grounding methods on his own. Everytime a new clone pops out, a piece of Coomer disappears for good. He loses items more often, because his thoughts strayed to a clone’s at just the wrong second. He still remembers things, but it’s getting harder and harder everyday. Some days his head is cloudy, and he can’t quite figure out what it is he’s supposed to do at work.

If Bubby were here, they would make fun of him. Yeah, they were kind of a jerk, weren’t they? A loving, wonderful jerk. But they wouldn’t have complained, there’s no doubt in Coomer’s mind.

Some days, when he wakes up, Coomer doesn’t remember that Bubby’s not by his side anymore.

☆*☆

Things don’t get better, but over the course of fifteen years, they do get easier.

Coomer starts making friends again, a young man by the name of Gordon Freeman. Coomer can tell he’s stressed out being so young in such a competitive field (especially working in Anomalous Materials, the things he’s heard about that department…), so maybe he takes a bit of a mentorship role to him.

It’s nice. They’ve known each other for a year at this point, and, well, he’s kind of like the son Coomer never had.

Gordon mentions that there’s a big test coming up, apparently his team is pulling other Anomalous Materials teams in just to make sure everything runs smoothly. And though it’s complicated, his job is rather simple. Push a crystal into a laser!

What could go wrong?

☆*☆

Of course Coomer shows up the day of the test to support Gordon! He hasn’t got anything better to do today, so he might as well see what all the fuss is over at Anomalous Materials.

It’s easy enough to bullshit his way past their front desk, having a million clones of yourself running around means there’s a million spots for you to fill should you need to. He briefly greets Gordon in the locker room, wishing him luck as he hurries on his way.

But, finally, he finds his way to the control room. The perfect place to watch from!

There are two scientists inside, both of whom are tall and lanky. One’s pretty young, Coomer thinks he must be around his mid-thirties. And the other-

“I swear to you, Tommy, this man says-”

He stops the second he spots the intruder, face slightly twitching in a way Coomer knows means he's resisting wincing. He’s lost more of his hair since Coomer last saw him, and though it’s been fifteen years, he’s aged pretty well, all things considered.

“Bubby?” The name comes tumbling out of Coomer’s mouth before he can stop himself. There's no way…

That does something to the scientist, dropping his stern expression for something softer. “Harold? Is that really-”

They’re interrupted by a clattering noise in the test chamber, all three of them turning to see Gordon has entered, accompanied by a security guard.

“Fuck,” Bubby swears. “What the hell is he doing?”

The other scientist, Tommy, preoccupies himself with yelling back and forth with the security guard.

“Tommy, do you know this man?” Bubby snaps (Coomer doesn’t remember him being this standoffish), appearing annoyed when he receives no answer.

“You know, he didn’t bring his passport!” Coomer jokes, trying to lighten the mood but…

Bubby is pointedly looking away from him, his attention focused on the computer terminal in front of him. He keeps mumbling about how fucked the technology in this part of the facility is, and honestly, Coomer agrees. Why they’re having Anomalous Materials run such high-risk tests in such a poor state, he has no idea. It’s like they’re asking for something terrible to happen.

And something does.

Things get worse as the test continues. The Anti-Mass Spectrometer begins to smoke, the computers in the control room are clearly on the fritz, and Bubby is still ignoring Coomer. But everything goes wrong after the crystal sample is placed in the laser.

They attempt to shut the Anti-Mass Spectrometer down, but it doesn’t work. Electricity arches throughout the room, striking the walls and loosening panels. All at once, an explosion rocks the test chamber, sending the three scientists ducking to the floor.

While Coomer doesn’t understand whatever the hell just happened, Bubby and Tommy certainly do. The second the test chamber stills, they rush out of the control room, heading two separate directions.

Some little part of Coomer’s heart that remained intact shatters.

☆*☆

Between all the zombies and aliens wandering around and the sheer destruction that’s been wrought on the facility, it’s quite obvious that Black Mesa has become defunct. As their team of five travels through the depths of their workplace, Coomer revels in the fact that he finally has an opportunity to get rid of these clones. With each of their deaths, it’s like a part of himself comes back.

Bubby catches on. Coomer occasionally spots him taking out a clone from the corner of his eyes.

That first night, after they all stop to rest, Coomer is surprised that Bubby chooses to sit next to him. After a full day of nothing from Bubby, Coomer had thought he was losing him all over again.

“This is the end of Black Mesa, isn’t it?” Bubby asks. Despite their proximity, he still won’t face Coomer.

Coomer looks out at the sleeping forms of their companions. Gordon is still stuck in his Hazard Suit, which probably makes sleeping even more uncomfortable. Tommy, meanwhile, has taken off his lab coat and bunched it up into a pillow.

“I believe so, Bubby,” Coomer admits.

Bubby sighs, but it’s not disappointment. It’s relief. Coomer is shocked to feel him take his hand into his own.

“It’s good to see you again, Harold,” he finally confesses. “You won’t believe how much I missed you.”

Coomer chuckles. “I have some idea.” Every nerve in his hand is buzzing, and if he was too old for this when he and Bubby first started dating, then he’s definitely too old now.

“So what are we doing, then?” Bubby’s being vague on purpose.

“Well, we should probably…” Coomer’s thoughts drift back to their final encounter, “talk. About everything. And then, I suppose, if you’ll have me…” He looks to Bubby, hope in his eyes.

Bubby scoffs, trying to keep his voice down. He leans his head against Coomer. “Seriously? You want to pick up where we left off fifteen years later?”

“I don’t see why we couldn’t!” Coomer says. “Who’s around to stop us now?”

Instead of arguing, Bubby lets his head drop down to Coomer’s shoulder. “You have a point,” he whispers after stifling a yawn. “We’ll talk in the morning?”

“We do need our rest,” Coomer concedes, resting his head atop Bubby. “Goodnight, then.”

Bubby falls asleep fast, like he always did. As for Coomer, despite the two of them laying against a concrete wall, it’s the best sleep he’s gotten in years.

☆*☆

While Bubby sticks to Coomer’s side like glue, it’s clear they’re avoiding being alone with him. They’ll slyly take ahold of his hand as the two of them walk side-by-side, but the second the team rounds a corner ahead of them, they’re dragging Coomer forward while shouting “We’re going to be left behind!”

They still haven’t talked about that last day.

But Coomer finds himself unable to complain too much. Having Bubby with him again, smiling and laughing, holding them… it’s everything he ever wanted.

☆*☆

When they finally make it back to the surface, Gordon has a great idea.

“Why don’t we just climb?” He gestures to the rocks in front of them. “Why don’t we just go over the rocks and fucking get out of here? We’re at the surface…”

Bubby tries to deter him, reminding Gordon that they’re in the middle of nowhere, but Coomer gets an idea.

“I could always try to clear the mountaintops with my SuperLegs,” he suggests, and when he doesn’t hear no, he goes for it.

He’s up there for but a few seconds, but what he sees beyond the walls of Black Mesa shakes him to his core.

There’s nothing there.

☆*☆

After the rocket launch, Coomer catches Bubby staring out the window instead of sleeping. Their eyes are trained on the night sky, watching the stars twinkle with a determination Coomer’s never seen before.

“Bubby,” Coomer calls out to them, shocking them from whatever trance they’re in. “You should really sleep.”

To be honest, it’s more for his sake than theirs. He just needs to feel Bubby by his side, tonight more so than any.

“Right,” Bubby moves back to Coomer’s side, nestling their face into his shoulder. “When you- I didn’t realize you were telling the truth, earlier.”

Coomer sighs. “You saw it too?”

They nod, mumbling, “There’s really nothing out there, is there?”

What do you do when facing down the limits of your own reality? What is there to do but seek comfort in that which makes you feel human?

☆*☆

Bubby's been whispering with Benrey. Occasionally the two of them will fall behind or run ahead of the group, mumbling to each other as they glance around nervously. While it is suspicious, Coomer knows Bubby! He hasn't heard anything terrible from him!

But still, he is acting rather strange.

"Bubby, dearest?" Coomer asks. Bubby is apparently back in one of his clingy moods, as he wrapped his arms around Coomer the second everyone decided to take a break and refused to let go.

Something about the word "dearest" irks Bubby. His eye twitches, which is definitely not the effect it had on him fifteen years ago.

"What?" Bubby's obviously fighting against a harsh tone, a contrast to the fact he's currently holding onto Coomer for dear life.

"I wanted to make sure you were doing alright, after yesterday," Coomer continues. "You’ve been on edge today."

Bubby grimaces. "Maybe it's the alien invasion we're fighting off."

"You know that's a flimsy excuse."

"What does it matter?" Bubby huffs. "What does any of this matter?"

In all his years of comforting Bubby, of offering words of encouragement in the face of dire circumstances, Coomer has never fallen short of words like he has now. How can he provide him with answers that he himself is reaching for?

Bubby notices his hesitance and sighs, tired. His eyes are stern and hollow. Without another word he stands, joining the rest of the group and leaving Coomer behind.

☆*☆

Coomer is too trusting. How many times over the years has Bubby called him a fool? Lambasted his desire to look for the good? 'The world isn't as kind as you imagine it, Harold, get your head out of the clouds.'

Bubby and Benrey betray Gordon. Walking towards that dreaded room, Coomer notices that same hollow expression on Bubby's face, his words betraying him.

A second before the lights go out on Gordon, Coomer sees the most twisted grin worm its way onto Bubby's face. A grin he can hear wiped away when Gordon screams in pain, knife tearing through flesh.

The whole time, Coomer is frozen in place. His PowerLegs feel more like stone than advanced cybernetic enhancements. His friend is being hurt, right in front of him! And he can’t…

He can’t..

Do anything.

It's fifteen years ago, all over again.

The second the thought crosses his mind, Coomer makes an excuse to run, hoping at least someone will follow him. He can't let this happen again, he can't be trapped by his own inaction! Gordon might be beyond saving, but they aren't!

Nobody pursues. Coomer finds himself wandering the halls of Black Mesa. Alone.

☆*☆

Stupid.

Useless.

Cowardly.

Selfish.

Spineless.

Coomer realizes it's no wonder he lost Bubby. He didn’t deserve them.

☆*☆

The clones end up being good for something after all.

When you have three hundred subhuman extensions of yourself, it turns out you have what could be described as a one-man army.

☆*☆

Coomer has a plan. Screw everything else, he's fucked up beyond measure in here. He is getting out of this game, one way or another.

He's got all the clones he could find, one surging attack should do the trick. After all, the man is suffering from a recent amputation, he shouldn't be that hard to take down. Well, Coomer didn't anticipate Tommy, but that's not too big of a wrench. He's knocked down, he stands, ready to fight again, but...

But he sees Gordon. So weak, so bloody, so delirious. And yet still walking.

The anger recedes. Coomer stands down, offering peace instead. Despite everything, he can’t bring himself to hate Gordon.

☆*☆

They find Bubby locked up in their tube, and with the way they enter the room, Coomer doesn't even realize they're in there at first.

Coomer is angry, he's furious at Bubby for their betrayal. They sold Gordon, their friend, out to the military! Of all people!

But seeing Bubby back in their tube, pounding on the glass, begging to be let out, for Gordon to understand they were tricked and lied to.

It isn't right.

If Coomer can get a second chance after the stunt he pulled, then Bubby can as well.

☆*☆

They stop for the night in a small room that they climbed into through the roof. As the group talks, Coomer sits next to Bubby, even lays near them when it's time to go to sleep. But he can tell, from the way their eyes keep glancing towards the bloody stump where Gordon's hand used to be, that their mind is elsewhere.

Bubby doesn't reach out for him at night, and after the day they've all had, Coomer isn't sure he should make the first move. Still, even subconsciously, they lay back-to-back as they sleep.

Until Coomer's back suddenly feels cold.

He sits up, noticing Bubby has woken up and is trying to worm their way back onto the roof. Their eyes meet for a moment, both of them silent before Bubby climbs up.

Coomer decides to follow.

The sight Coomer finds is not unfamiliar to him. Bubby sits on the roof, their knees drawn to their chest, gazing up at the starry sky above them. Their eyes are not full of their usual wonder. When Coomer sits down next to them, they finally speak.

"I fucked up," Bubby confesses, eyes still glued to the sky.

Coomer already knew that, but... "Do you want to talk about it?"

"I-" Bubby starts, but they swallow and try again. "When I saw the void, I thought that meant that nothing here mattered." Coomer wraps an arm around Bubby, and they lean into him. "That my whole life, what happened to us, it was all fake and meaningless."

"But we're real," Coomer says, not a lecture, but an affirmation. "We love, we feel pain, we have fun. To an extent, we're alive."

"That we are," Bubby agrees. They pause for a beat, before revealing, "I hated you."

Coomer remains quiet, mostly out of confusion.

Bubby pulls back to face him. "Biological Research knew the whole time that you were seeing me. They thought you were a good influence, so they didn't step in." They grip the sleeve of Coomer's lab coat. "But that day, they mentioned it to me, and I… I just snapped."

Vaguely, Coomer remembers Dr. Daniels saying he had "expended his usefulness" sometime before the cloning began.

"I wanted to protect you, Harold. You were the first good thing in my life, I couldn't let them hurt you," Bubby whimpers. "But when I needed your help, you didn't… you…"

Harold Coomer froze.

Something clicks in the back of his mind. When the soldiers attacked Gordon, Bubby knew that Coomer wouldn't act.

Bubby yanks Coomer back to their chest, holding him as close as possible. "I blamed you, and I hated that I blamed you, and I loved you. Harold, those first years without you were awful."

Coomer can hear Bubby crying, and he knows he's doing the same.

"I'm sorry," Coomer sobs into their shirt, hugging Bubby just as tightly as they hug him. "My darling Bubby, I am so, so sorry."

"Don't say that," Bubby repeats it like a mantra every time Coomer apologizes. "Harold, don't you dare say that."

☆*☆

They make it to the end. They're loomed over by the twisted monstrosity that is Benrey. They destroy their passports, and pour everything they can into knocking this bastard down once and for all.

Bubby erupts in flames, his body once again becoming a vague silhouette. Unlike the last time he saw this sight, Coomer feels no dread. There is no pit in his stomach.

This is elation.

☆*☆

They share their first kiss in years in a Chuck E. Cheese, of all places. After watching the two of them dance around each other for five days, Gordon finally feels comfortable enough to ask them what the hell their relationship status is.

Coomer opens his mouth to answer, but Bubby has a better idea. He tilts Coomer's face towards his own, leans in, and kisses him right on the lips.

It's like nothing has changed in fifteen years. When they kiss, it's like they're young all over again.

☆*☆

They survive after the game. Bubby questions it aloud one day, but Coomer doesn't want to think about it. Whatever has happened that allows their continued existence, it's nothing short of a miracle.

Bubby and Coomer end up crashing in Gordon's house for a few days, considering they don't quite have a place of their own yet. On day three, Gordon's son Joshua calls both of them his grandpas, and Coomer cries for an hour.

They move out eventually, when their government mandated hush money comes in. Not far, but Bubby clearly wants some independence. It's a nice little place, cozy but not too small.

Bubby never starts the conversations about marriage, but they're always an active participant. When Coomer had first brought up the idea, Bubby had to put their magazine down, their eyes blown wide.

"Holy shit!" they exclaim, realization hitting them like a train. "We can do that now!"

After fifteen years of absence, waking up with Bubby by his side, curling their fingers through his hair, is magical. The life they never thought they'd have—a house on the surface, with a family all their own—is reality. Coomer has never been happier.

All good things must come to an end. But Bubby has always been better than good.