#also yeah I've seen that trope a couple of times and it's. weird

[arctrooper69]

Hello! I love your stories. Could I request a Drabble about Wrecker being a body guard for a Princess trope? She likes him but he doesn’t think she does. And if it fits “Can you lock the door please?” From your prompt list. Thanks!

Hello friend! I'm so so so sorry that it's taken so long for me to get this out to you! I've been sitting on this for probably about a year now. So sorry! Also... it turned into a full-blown 12 page fic instead of a drabble. Hope you enjoy!!!! 😂❤️🫂

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The Princess and the Wrecking Ball

Wrecker x Princess!Reader

Warnings: Loss due to wartime, small mention of blood. Mostly just some cute hurt/comfort 🥰

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"Really Hunter?" complained Wrecker, "A princess?"

Hunter frowned and nodded. "Yes. Just for a few days." He looked around at the others for confirmation and they simply nodded.

"Why do you seem to be the only one that has a problem with this?" Hunter gestured to his brother with thinly veiled frustration. He'd never seen Wrecker this adverse to a mission before. Even when it required rappelling from treacherous heights.

"Because last time he met a princess he fell head over heels for her and she hated his guts." Crosshair spoke evenly as he sat on his bunk, cleaning his rifle.

Hunter frowned, looking back at Wrecker. "Is that what this is about?"

Wrecker looked down, shrugging nervously. He rubbed the back of his head. "I just don't like Princesses, okay? They think they're all that and then they look at you with those pretty eyes and you think you've got a chance, and you think they really like you and then they realize that you're a clone and call you a stupid, ugly mistake."

The group was silent.

Hunter cleared his throat, "Well, you don't have to get along with her. We're just supposed to transport her safely back to her uncle on Coruscant."

Wrecker crossed his arms, frowning, "Why do we gotta do it?"

"She's in danger, Wrecker." Echo explained, "and it's a favor for Senator Amidala."

"Why can't she do it?"

"She's a senator. She can't exactly sneak into Separatist territory."

"Besides," Hunter added, "The princess' uncle has offered us a lot of money to get her safely to him."

Crosshair looked up. "You mean, we're actually getting paid this time?"

"But - " protested Wrecker.

Hunter looked at him sharply. "We're going to get that princess and you're going to treat it just like another mission. That's an order. Got it?"

Wrecker groaned, "Yeah Sarge, I got it."

"Good. I don't want to hear another word about it from you."

"Do I at least get to blow something up?"

"We'll see."

Wrecker grumbled under his breath. Hunter narrowed his eyes at him but didn't say anything else.

"Well..." Tech spoke up, "Now that that's settled, I'm making a list of everything we need to requisition."

Tech held the datapad out to Echo. He looked over the list.

"I can't think of anything else."

"What about the princess?" Wrecker asked suddenly.

Crosshair sighed, "Here we go again..."

"Hey! I'm just tryin' to be helpful!"

Hunter closed his eyes, "What about her, Wrecker."

"Well uh.... Won't she need things too?"

Tech looked up, "I have included rations for an extra passenger on the way back. That will not be an issue."

Wrecker shifted awkwardly. "Yeah but... What about... women things?"

Crosshair choked on his caf.

Tech blinked, “What women things?”

Wrecker shrugged, “I saw some ad on Coruscant for it once. I don’t remember what it’s called. Think it happens like on a full moon or something, every couple rotations?"

Tech lowered the datapad in his hand to stare at his brother. “She is a woman, Wrecker... not a werewolf."

Hunter closed his eyes again and sighed, rubbing at his temples. Some days he wondered how exactly it was that they'd made it as commandos this long.

"I'm gonna go ahead and veto that one. I think it would be a little weird for a group of elite soldiers to have uh... women things.... on the ship."

Wrecker grumbled, "I was just trying to be helpful."

Crosshair nudged his shin with the butt of his rifle. "Lighten up, Wreck. We are literally getting paid to play taxi for a pretty princess. We could do this in our sleep." He chuckled, "Actually I'm pretty sure I have done something like this in my sleep."

Tech rolled his eyes. "Don't be an ass, Crosshair."

"At least I can get a woman's attention if I wanted to," he goaded.

Tech scoffed, "For your information, I have had several females ask for my com frequency."

"That's enough!" Hunter placed his hand firmly on the table. "Seriously guys? You're acting like a bunch of shiny regs. This is a mission. We're going to act like professionals."

"Have we ever really been professional?" quipped Tech.

Hunter sighed, "Let me rephrase that. We're going to do this just like we've done any other extraction. We get in, grab the target, get out. Got it?"

A chorus of "yes, sir"s announced the end of the discussion.

---

The smooth finish of the once beautiful wood floor felt cold on your cheek as you hid beneath the bed.

"Run! Run and don't look back!" Your mother's terrified voice echoed in your ears, and then the click of the lock as she pushed you into the back hall. Then the shrill scream she'd let out as the droids dragged her away. You'd only run when you heard the blaster fire.

One shot. Thud.

Your father and brother crying out in anguish.

Two shots. Thud. Thud.

Silence. Then voices - modulated and mechanical. Cold and calculating.

"Find the girl."

"Roger Roger."

You felt the dust creep up around your fingers, digging under your nails as you felt along the floor. It floated into your nose and down your throat, tickling and irritating. You suppressed a heavy sneeze that popped your ears, making you aware of every tiny noise. The metallic, icy fear that gripped your chest twisted every noise into something mechanical and violent.

It has to be here somewhere.

There.

Your fingers found purchase on a small, metal surface. The biometric lock whirred to life as you pressed your fingers to the surface.

A hatch hissed open revealing a small room in the wall beside the bed. You crawled out from under the bed, dusting off your pants. It felt naked, being out in the open like this. Dangerous. Vulnerable.

Deftly, you climbed into the hidden room and the hatch hissed closed behind you, locking you in. A dim light illuminated a small room. An emergency com device sat on a stool in the corner and a blaster hung on the wall. A ladder along the back wall led upwards. You had been here enough times with your father that you knew it led to the rooftop. But this time, it wasn't a drill and this time, you were alone.

You dialed the frequency.

A trooper sporting a red and white helmet appeared on the screen. Though you couldn't see his face, he seemed bored.

"This is a secure channel. You shouldn't have this number."

"I..." your voice left your lungs as barely a whisper.

"What's that?" He sounded annoyed now. A knot formed in the back of your throat.

"Speak clearly, please."

"I need to speak to my uncle." The words came out forced and choked.

"Look ma'am, this is a secure channel for GAR personnel only."

Someone said something in the background and the trooper turned, "...nothing, Sir. Just some civvie with the wrong number." He paused, listening to whoever was in the room with him. "...yeah she's trying to call her uncle or something. I'll handle it."

The screen shifted and suddenly instead of the trooper your uncle's face appeared.

"I... I need help." It took everything you had left in you not to burst into tears as you told him what happened. How the droid army came. How your father refused them. How they killed his family first and then him. How you ran and hid.

"Okay," Came his soft reply. "Okay. Keep the door locked and stay where you are. I'll send someone to come for you."

----

The message had come in only a matter of hours and now you waited, lying flat on the roof, for the ship to come carry you away.

Smoke rose in columns. You could smell the fires and tried not to think about the screaming. The people - your people - were dying and there you were, hiding away. Waiting for a rescue that the common citizen would have no hope of. Their choice was to surrender or die. They would die here.

Suddenly shouts rang out just below. "Hey! You! Stop!" The cold, whiny voice of a foot soldier. There was a scrambling of hurried footsteps as whoever they were chasing ran and tripped. You peered over the edge of the building.

"Hey! Where'd you go?" The battledroid sounded confused. Whoever it was chasing hid well.

You watched the figure slowly crawl, inching his way along the entrance to a garbage chute. There were only two ways for him to crawl. A dead end or the garbage chute. The droid seemed to suddenly notice this as well.

"Ha. Ha. You have nowhere to hide now."

He looked young - only a child. Maybe 12 or 13. He looked terrified.

Gritting your teeth, you made a decision you hoped you wouldn't regret.

"Hey!" You shouted. Both the boy and the droid looked up. "You leave him alone!"

"Look, it's the princess!"

"Wait, she's not supposed to be here!"

Kriff. There are more of them.

"I'll take care of her."

Both turned their blasters towards you. The boy was gone but now you'd given up your position.

Kriff. Now I'm dead.

You squeezed your eyes shut, ready for the inevitable blast that would carry you back into the arms of your family.

---

The blast came louder than you'd expected - more painful too. Your head throbbed fiercely and ears rang loud enough to muffle the sounds of yelling and blaster fire. The ragged edges of the wall lay rough and cold as your fingers found purchase on its stones, gripping tightly to shakily pull yourself to your feet. Something wet and warm trickled down your forehead, stinging your eye. You hissed as your fingers found the small cut above your eyebrow, fingers coming away red and slick.

Someone was shouting.

"Princess! Princess!"

This can't be happening. This can't be real.

"Princess!"

That voice again, loud and deep - shredding through the thudding of your pulse and the ringing shock in your head.

A pair of strong arms wrapped themselves around you, yanking you from the ground where you stood.

Panic sprang from every pore in your body as you struggled against that impossible grip.

"Hey! Calm down! You're safe! I got ya!"

He was running. The world seemed to flow by as if you were watching it through someone else's eyes.

Smoke drifted through the sky. Fires burned hot and buildings lay broken and crumbled. The only thing that felt real were the strong arms of the man carrying you from the carnage. Away from everything you'd ever known.

---

Your eyes never left the burning horizon of your home until the vast blur of hyperspace wrenched it away. It was only then you found yourself taking a breath, gasping as if you'd forgotten how to breathe.

"Are you okay?" A figure knelt beside you, slowly drawing your gaze to him. Long, dark hair hung over a dirty red bandana. "My name's Hunter. That's Crosshair, Tech, and Echo." He pointed out each of his brothers, "and that's Wrecker. He's the one who brought you back here."

You looked up at him. The large man looked as if he wanted to say something but stopped.

Hunter got up to join his brothers, leaving you to sit alone on the bunk.

You winced, bringing a hand up to your forehead as the cut stung with the stale air of the ship. Wrecker's look of feigned indifference suddenly morphed to one of concern as he peered through the short passageway of the ship.

"Hey she's bleeding!"

Wrecker immediately grabbed the medscanner, turning towards you - then paused.

He glanced away, the urgent need to make sure you were okay, suddenly transformed into an anxious uncertainty. He rubbed the back of his head in a nervous gesture.

"Here you do it!" he grunted before violently shoving the device at Tech who fumbled it a nanosecond before deftly catching it with sturdy fingers.

Tech frowned, "You are perfectly capable of taking the scan yourself." He sighed as Wrecker averted his eyes. "...but I will take over from here if that is what you want."

"Thanks Tech... I - I just don't wanna make 'er uncomfortable, ya know... in case she's scared of me on account of how I'm... Ehh, you know..."

Tech raised an eyebrow. "I do not think that is a problem, but I'm sure she would appreciate your consideration."

---

Wrecker sat glumly on the floor, leaning against Gonky, watching as Tech headed back up to the cockpit. His eyes slowly lingered back to you as you sat on the edge of the bunk.

"See, she's staring!" whispered Wrecker, leaning over to Crosshair, "I don't think she likes me."

Crosshair shook his head. "She's just in shock. Her family was practically killed in front of her. She's scared."

You could hear them whisper, glancing over at the way you sat stiffly on the bunk he'd sat you on.

Wrecker, he said his name was. An apt name for his profession. Yet, contrary to the tales that Tech had regaled to you, Wrecker seemed to simmer to a calm around you - like any sudden movement might scare you away. The concern was nice, but unnecessary.

He'd seemed so passionate when he'd jumped to save you from that blast.

"Hold on!" he'd boomed. "I've got you!" And you believed him.

Wrecker - the calm within the storm, until he became the storm itself. That was a nice thought.

Lifting your feet onto the bunk, you curled into the thin mattress. You wouldn't sleep. You couldn't. If you closed your eyes, those sounds would haunt you again.

"Run!"

Screaming.

"No!"

Blaster fire.

Thud.

Thud.

Thud.

No sleep would come tonight if you could help it - but the heavy fluttering of your exhausted eyelids soon proved to be more than you could fight.

---

"She woke up screaming."

The words, supposed to be a whisper, echoed dimly from the cockpit into the bunk where you lay - not quite asleep, but not awake either.

"We all heard it, Wreck." Came the somber reply from their leader.

"Yeah." A moment of silence. "Think one of us should talk to her?"

"Maybe."

"Tech, you do it! You're good at knowing stuff."

"I am unsure if I would be a suitable candidate for a conversation on such a delicate matter. I can offer solutions to improve her sleep but I do not think that is the issue here. Perhaps Echo should be the one to talk to her?"

"I don't know..."

Another moment of uneasy silence.

"Aw, come on guys" Wrecker's loud voice complained.

"Shhhhhh!" Chorused his brothers.

"Oh. Sorry!" His whisper wasn't much quieter.

"Wrecker's right," Hunter spoke. "Someone should talk to her."

"Wrecker, you should do it." Offered Echo.

"Me!? Why? I'm no good at stuff like that!"

"Hmm.... Echo may be right. She does seem to have an emotional connection to you, Wrecker. More so than to us."

"Wha.... whaddya mean?"

"He means she likes you, Wrecker." His brother smacked him on the shoulder.

"Hey! She does not!"

Crosshair smirked, "Oh she definitely does."

Wrecker fervently shook his head, "Does not!"

"Does to! In fact, I heard her last night in the fresher." Crosshair's grin widened, "She was all 'oh Wrecker, ohhh'" he mimicked the sound of your voice in jest.

Wrecker froze. "She did not! Yer just making that up!" He glanced at Hunter. If anyone had heard anything it would've been him. Hunter glared at Crosshair, who sighed and rolled his eyes.

"Okay, fine. I made that up. But..." he poked his brother in the gut with a boney finger. "I still think she likes you."

Wrecker frowned, rubbing a hand on the back of his bald head. He still looked unsure.

"Just get in there!" Crosshair kicked the back of his knee, causing him to stumble forward a few feet towards your bunk.

---

Wrecker sat awkwardly for a moment. He licked his lips. You blinked up at him, sleep still clouding your eyes in a confused daze.

He took a breath. He could do this.

It took you a few moments to fully wake, and another few to realize that Wrecker was sitting on his bunk, staring at you. A rush of heat stirred butterflies through your stomach - a feeling that had become all too familiar since being aboard this ship.

Wrecker looked nervous.

You blinked at him, tilting your head. He was still staring. "Uhh... Can I help you with something, Wrecker?"

"You dream bad." He blurted out.

Huh? A look of confusion crossed your face as a look of horror overtook his own.

"No! I mean.... I mean..." He shouted.

You jumped, startled.

He cleared his throat, looking mortified. "I mean... Ya... You..." he stuttered miserably. "Ya had a bad dream and I was just wonderin' if you were okay." He looked down, "That's all." He gulped. Great, he blew it. "I'll uh... I'll leave ya alone now."

He turned towards the cockpit, face red with embarrassment.

"Wait..." Your voice called out from behind him. "Wrecker wait...."

He paused.

"I... I think it was really sweet of you to come see if I was okay."

He heard you shift on the bunk, sitting up to swing your legs over the side.

"I... I'm sorry if I woke you up."

You sounded sad and Wrecker felt his heart crack. He turned back around, sitting down on his bunk again, facing you.

"Nah, I was already up." He chuckled, that explosive grin reappeared across his face. "Besides, it's pretty impossible to wake me up. Just ask Tech. One time him 'n Crosshair made a bet to see what they could do to make me wake up."

You giggled, the icy fear that gripped your chest began to warm. "What ended up waking you up?" You asked, genuinely curious. "Who won the bet?"

Wrecker grinned. "Crosshair did. He put a tooka treat in my ear and left the ship open. It was when we landed on Lotho Minor. There's lots of tookas around there."

You giggled, imagining a sleeping Wrecker surrounded by an army of tiny mewing tookas.

He was silent again and you felt those angry claw sneak their way around you again, freezing through your veins. Wrecker must have noticed, his smile faded.

"Didja wanna talk about it? Or..." he trailed off.

You shivered and leaned into him. Without thinking, he put his arm around you, pulling you closer - keeping you warm.

"I... It's just a lot to process." You said softly. "I just keep remembering. I keep hearing them die."

Wrecker didn't say anything. He took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. You shouldn't have to see somethin' like that. Yer a princess. Yer supposed to go ta parties and drink those fancy juice things and eat those tiny sandwiches."

You sighed, "It's not all just parties and fancy stuff all the time, you know."

Wrecker sat up, looking at you. "It's not!?"

"No," you chuckled. "Sometimes it's sitting in on a really boring meeting. Sometimes it's learning how to fire a blaster in case you have to defend yourself."

"Whoa..."

You smiled sadly, "Lots of people don't like me when they hear I'm a princess. I think they think, that I think I'm better than them or something."

"That's a lot of thinkin'" Wrecker replied, not meeting your eyes. You chuckled.

It was silent again.

Wrecker cleared his throat, “I uhh… I think I know what you mean.”

You looked at him quizzically.

“A lotta people - “ Wrecker started, then paused. “Well, most people actually. They think I’m stupid just because I’m big and kinda slow with words and stuff.”

You frowned. “But aren’t you the demolition expert? You blow stuff up, right?”

Wrecker grinned at that, momentarily forgetting the awkward seriousness of the conversation before. “You bet I do!”

His smile was contagious and you found it inflicting its endearing passion across your own face. “Well then you can’t be dumb, silly!” you teased. “Don’t you have to be super smart to learn to build and disable all those explosives?”

Wrecker paused, “I dunno…”

You cut him off. “And not to mention the chemistry and physics and numbers it takes to do what you do so well!”

Wrecker shifted brushing his hand against your leg. You froze, suddenly realizing exactly how close you were to him - how his arm draped warmly around your back. The unexpected contact seemed to leave you breathless.

What was this?

Your skin seemed to burn where he'd touched you. You looked up at him.

This mountain of a man had saved you without even ever having met you before. He'd charged right into blaster fire, scooping you up as though you weighed nothing and he did it all with a smile on his face. You let out a shaky breath, shivering as he shifted and brushed against you once more.

Immediately, Wrecker jumped to his feet, realizing his mistake.

"I... I'm so sorry! I didn't mean to scare ya or... or touch ya... I..." He stuttered, "I... I'm such a..."

You looked up at him wide-eyed. "Wait! Wrecker stop!"

He paused, looking down miserably.

Now it was your turn to blush, "I... I didn't mind it." You said quietly, looking down at your feet.

He still looked unsure.

"I like being around you, Wrecker. You make me feel safe."

He looked down to where you patted the spot on the bunk beside you.

"You sure?" He asked tentatively.

You nodded, "I'm sure."

"You wanna know something funny?" He asked, voice uncharacteristically quiet as he sat again.

"What?" You smiled, leaning towards him.

"I thought you weren't going to like me... Just like you thought we weren't gonna like you."

"Of course I like you, Wrecker! And I'm really glad you were the one to find me."

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[thalfbloodloser]

You bring insanity to a boringly sane fandom. I would like to hear your latest thought on ivorycest... Whatever nugget you may be nursing. If that is alright

✦ aw, thank you! you're so sweet 🐌🧡 it's very much alright - no one in here ever sends me fun stuff anymore. your ask was a breath of fresh air, anon! truth be told, i haven't been thinking about ivorycest all that much, but get ready for a HUGE text-block jumpscare because you just gave me the perfect excuse to write about them ➜

✦ sometimes it pains me to see so many folks avoiding ivorycest like the plague, because, like ranfren itself, it's so unapologetically insane that you can't really hate it. even if you try. if you have a dash of sense of humor, you'll see it's hilariously canon compliant!

i've seen lots of people argue that "anything romantic/sexual between randal and luther would be inherently out of character", which i'll admit is a reasonable concern, but it's just not true. the issue is characterization: people keep projecting human-based tropes and behavior on cryptids, and that's where the knee-jerk "eugh" reaction comes from. because yeah, randal and luther aren't going to declare their Forbidden Love for each other and then passionately kiss under the moonlit sky, nor are they going to feel guilty about their attraction and part ways with a tearful "we can't! this is wrong!". it would be completely unnatural behavior for them. all that? made for humans. and pretty basic humans, at that. for ivorycest to work, both in and out of canon, you gotta fully embrace the weirdness, see beyond humanity and forget all old expectations you might've gotten from any other couple of siblings!

from my point of view, it doesn't even feel like it fits with the rest of the "-cest"s. and not because of the possibility that randal and luther aren't even biologically related (i seriously doubt they're even from the same species) - we all know that adoptive siblings aren't any less siblings just because they don't share DNA. plus, pseudo-incest is still a thing - but because they're so, so far from human nature and from other brother/brother ships that it's almost laughable, and sometimes genuinely puzzling, to apply ANY human labels to them at all. for example, would you call luther a cannibal because he eats people? no. because it'd be like calling a human cannibal for eating cows, and that makes no sense. words mean things.

to us, at least.

coincidentally, that's half of my point.

the ivorys adress each other as "brother", sure, but you cannot look me in the eyes and tell me that they fully understand what that means or that they care about it enough to follow the moral/ethical guidelines attached to such terms. you simply cannot. most times it feels less like they see each other as family and more like they're just...roleplaying.

but if you decide to call someone "daddy", just when does that make them your father?

randal, who could (but perhaps shouldn't) be considered the most resourceful of the two, uses "brother" as both title and honorific - like one uses "sir" or "ma'am" - but doesn't seem to be overtly attached to the familial aspect of it. again, he's not a human, and, as far as we know, our siblinghood doesn't come naturally to him - much like pain, guilt, conscience and a whole load of bodily functions that he also seems to lack. luther, on the other same hand, understands the caretaking implications of being the "older brother", but that's pretty much where his brotherly-ness begins and ends. if anything, he's incorrectly using the sibling label while playing parent; just without any trauma and/or responsibility attached to it. there's also the fact that he's the most powerful entity in the household and randal - no matter how many pianos he "possesses" or how many times he shoves himself in the space between the wall and the fridge - cannot possibly overpower him, also adds to this parent/kid dynamic; hence granting luther the (almost-meaningless) title of "master" and the authority over their dysfunctional home. that still doesn't mean randal perceives him as anything but a housemate, or playdate, for he doesn't really seem to keep up the role of mischievous little brother unless he's bored (often, not always).

so they use the word, but it lacks permanent meaning. in that sense, classic incest tropes - no matter if brocon or dadson flavored - don't really work. there's power imbalance, sure, but the familial bonds needed to reinforce that imbalance simply do not exist. randal is babied because he likes to be. he likes being taken care of and likes having rules to break. it's a character he plays. luther "takes care" of him because he himself likes doing it. he likes being a parent and likes having a reason to lecture & discipline. it's a character he plays. they don't actually need this dynamic to thrive, and it wasn't imposed on them by parents/caretakers or any set of misfortunes that we know of. they just deliberately chose to partake on it.

consequently, i don't think they feel what humans perceive as familial love (healthy or unhealthy) for each other. they're simply two powerful entities - whom we can assume have been at least friends for a long time - playing make-believe. creatures who have little to no regard for humanity as a species, and are only interested in their own antics. of course they do eventually commend certain humans for their achievements, and seem to find all sorts of comfort in our art/creations/traditions, but outside of that? they see humans as fragile beings as intelectually insignificant to them as most animals are to us. randal forcibly keeps one as a pet. not far from "master" luther, who keeps two.

again, the ivorys are clearly intelligent, specially regarding their own survival. they're not behind being purposefully dense when it comes to anything human that is even slightly inconvenient to them (huh? eating the delivery man's arm when we order pizza is bad? haha, i would never have guessed!). they have the means and understanding necessary to behave (and perhaps look) 100% human, they just...choose not to. they can bend reality itself to their whims, turn themselves and others into inconceivable creatures, all while feigning absolute normalcy at the chaotic world around them (werewoofs, carpet cats with human faces, alive walls and furniture...), and you think they'd draw the line at willingly distorting something as frivolous as family hierarchy?

tch. please.

with that said, by the rules of their own game, if they were to partake in any...non-platonic activities, it would only be considered incestuous because they decided it would be - by creating the dynamic and environment in the first place. and they would simply not fucking care if it is upsetting, distasteful or imoral by human standards. and that's the ship's whole flavor - that's why i love it so much! precisely because there's no such thing as the "oh, no! i accidentally fell in love with my sibling! woe is me!" (which i also love) with the ivorys. there's also not a "normal" way to ship them, even if you're adamant about them not being related or not seeing each other as family, because they're two fucking weirdos.

their whole relationship is so tastefully bonkers that i genuinely wouldn't be fazed if they spawned another creature to be their "littlest" sibling. honestly, who could stop them? and who's to say that, in their cryptic way, they're not a married couple? or buddies into weird roleplay? ultimately, it is undeniable that they - in at least one sense of the word - love each other enough to enable each other; and to indulge on each other's silly/straight-up-criminal fantasies.

to me, there's no (human) romance, nor seduction, involved. randal knows he'll get nothing by jumping on his brother's lap and performing the most disgustingly horny hentai rip-off scenario ever. much like he'll get nothing in exchange for sweet words, flowers and chocolate. it's part of the game. he knows he'll receive only a "<3" (♥︎) - which him and luther seem to be able to pronounce out loud - or a hummed, blank-faced lecture about needing either a nap or to drink more water. if luther is having a bad day, he might even receive some sort of punishment. and those are the reactions randal wants, the normalcy (if you can call it that) he counts on. if he wanted a different response, something genuinely human, he'd have forcibly gauged it off sebastian, nyon or even nyen. likewise, luther knows better than to come too close or to grab randal by the waist, lest he get bitten or not-so-playfully snipped with scissors.

but there's intimacy. so much intimacy. on waking up to the other's figure looming over them, on physically crawling under each other's skin, on wrapping hands and claws around each other's organs and muscles and bones, on faux eyes staring into faux eyes, on a eerie smile pressed against unmoving lips, on the suspension of disbelief, on the lingering smell of copper, on the flashing lights and sappy endearments and and-

and, i suppose, on the sex too. i don't think i can picture them having human sex - really, who am i to guess what these creatures are packing in their pants? for all we know, they might as well be ken-doll smooth down there - but if they were to ever consummate their relationship sexually, i feel like it would probably be as uncomfortable, off-putting, disturbing and offensive to the eyes as everything else they do. genuinely revolting from any possible point of view - unless you're a true monsterfucker. a ritual so gross that, for us, it resembles nothing but a cacophony of unthinkable horrors molding together wetly, but that, to them, feels nothing but heavenly from beginning to end. as close to divinity as such wretched demons/creatures are ever going to get.

anyways. enough, my apologies-

the conclusion is that...me shipping these two isn't even about wishing they'd get together, because, in their fucked up way, they already are. it isn't about spiting other fans either. it's about having fun coming up with increasingly nonsensical scenarios hoping to come close to their freak ✦

[charmwasjess]

So, let's say George Lucas was more self aware producing/directing the prequels and hired you to reign him in/keep him on track. How would the prequels be different?

What a fucking FUN question. :D I've been chewing over this in my inbox for a couple days.

Honestly you couldn't pay me enough to write for Star Wars, and that's not just because I'd be fired on my second day for making it so gay. I think there absolutely are problems in the prequels, but I also think no matter what films they made, it was going to be a difficult tango of trying to keep an existing fanbase happy while attracting new ones, doing the old story homage but also not just retreading stale territory, and the fact that an entire generation came up with headcanons for what the Clone Wars or young Obi-Wan or Vader was like in that era, and no matter what you do, someone was going to be disappointed.

I also have a ton of sympathy for Star Wars writers in general - I see stories like Mike Chen who wrote the Brotherhood novel having to get the book together in three months over 11 drafts or the Rebels writers working unpaid nights and weekends to try to land the story they loved decently because they weren't given enough time or money. I don't know what it's like to write or create content for Lucasfilm, but I can't help but think of Warren Fu, who created the iconic General Grievous design for Lucas, later drawing himself as Sifo-Dyas being drained of blood to create Grievous. The metaphor he chose there is, um, interesting, to say the least, and I wonder how it reflects on his time at Lucasfilm. I see these anecdotes all the time of writers and creators working incredibly hard for little money or recognition and then their passion project gets changed or sidelined by the powers that be within the franchise.

ANYWAY THAT SAID HERE'S HOW I'D FIX THE PREQUELS- I think it's really a matter of redrafting what's there because so much of it is really good and has great potential. I just rewatched the Phantom Menace, so that's on my mind. Yeah, I remember being little enough that Jar Jar Binks was funny to me - I love Ahmed Best - but having just rewatched it, Jar Jar gets a ton of screentime and that could be better balanced. AND oofa-doofa, the racist accents/stereotypes. Cut cut cut. Rework.

Otherwise, I think there's a tendency - and some of it was the popular movie tropes at the time the films were going out - to rely on Idiot Plot. OOPS, Anakin didn't mean to go to the big space battle!!! He just won the day on accident!! To a lesser degree, many other characters make it through the movie by just sort of guessing and lucking their way into it as a narrative choice. Just going by the fact that the films need to be about the good guys losing because it's a prequel for a saga with no Jedi, I'd like a little bit more agency for them. More moments of saying "yes, I want to do this" and less "wow, what the hell is going on?!"

The other big change I'd make is give Obi-Wan a much larger role in the Phantom Menace, and Padme a bigger part in both AotC and especially RotS. (Actually, she really kicks ass in TPM. That moment where she shoots through the window and the duel of the fates music swells? Ascension guns!! I'm getting goosebumps just thinking about it.) I think Anakin is the most sympathetic when he's seen through the eyes of characters who love him and vouch for him. And Obi-Wan is honestly barely in TPM - it's all Qui-Gon, who I love, but I could see the film being really successful through him as our perspective/focus character instead. The way that Luke Skywalker takes us with him on this adventure and shows us the story. Obi-Wan could do that very effectively. And as much as the prequels are about Anakin's fall, they're also ultimately a story of Obi-Wan's survival.

And I'd cut Count Dooku, for no reason other than I don't like how weird I got about that guy.

[beanghostprincess]

No offense to anyone but genuinly the Babby Shuggy moments not only made me ship it but also make me not understand people who feel like their dynamic in canon isn’t „all that interesting“ after they split. „They haven’t seen each other in years. They are different people now. They aren’t thinking and regretting their splitting 24/7!“ okay, but also like…. You don’t want them to have more screentime after the flashback that can just really flesh out how they changed? You don’t think Buggy fucking up upwards coupled with Shanks actual epicness while still being the type of guy to be chill with Buggy and congratulate him for fucking up upwards would be fun? You don’t even want them to have that cool anime shonen type thing where they work together for a while and get into a fight and get a full page panel of them ready to kick ass while standing back to back? (The „What? You’re fighting too?“ scene from Kingdom Hearts may be overused but it comes to my mind immediatly because sometimes things are overused for a REASON and it fits them in a weird way) Like…. Okay. Your loss. But even beyond shipping I am still a bit flabbergasted at some people being like „Yeah but there’s nothing THERE.“ like, COME ON THERE COULD BE SO MUCH.

Okay, anon, sometimes you need to understand that people have no taste and sometimes we are more intelligent than others and we have to carry the burden of liking and understanding an amazing ship that a lot of people find boring in canon because they don't know how to read the characters. (I'm half joking here, by the way)

Like!!! I started shipping them from the first second they mentioned they were together when they were young. The first flashback of them has the biggest most beautiful "young, teenage best friends to lovers angsty with a lot of pining and not actually unrequited love" I've ever seen. And not only that, even their fucking past is a slow burn. They make you wait to know about the resentment and what happened between them (I've only watched that flashback in wano, if more things are shown in the arc or the manga I don't know about them so don't spoil me in the comments pleaseplease) and it's so so so beautiful. Like- They make me want to lay on the floor all day and cry WHAT'S NOT INTERESTING ABOUT THEIR DYNAMIC????

You know what happens, anon? A lot of people don't like the childhood best friends to lovers trope because they find it boring (for some reason I still don't understand because it's literally my favorite trope) and so they decide to focus on the rivalry and angst that comes later but, y'know, that's when the fanon thing comes up and they focus more on that than on their actual canon past where they're best friends.

And tbh the fact that they reduce their characters only to their relationship instead of to their actual personalities and goals is a shame because Buggy and Shanks have to be two of the most charismatic and interesting anime characters I've ever seen. They're fun and extremely cool to watch even when they aren't thinking about each other 24/7. People, please stop only thinking about ships for a moment?? And if you do, please at least think about how cool it's going to be once they get together again after so much time being apart.

This reminds me a lot of Soukoku and Satosugu ngl. The whole BFFs until there was this big betrayal thing and also the fact that people only like them because of their relationship and are always mad their characters aren't only about the ship.

Honestly, I'm so excited to see more of them and every time they talk/show up on screen I immediately start sobbing. How could people not find them interesting in canon? Buggy is literally one of the best characters wdym?? Also he'd be extremely angry at people reducing him to his relationship with Shanks, dude already is tired of that man let him rest!! Imagine people always talking about you to talk about the ex you still love like damn please he's an awesome character too. And Shanks, too, but like the dude is a simp and he would love this whole thing so-

[padfootastic]

hi! i've no idea how i came to your page but i realised i'd read two of your one-shots in ao3 before and had adored them (you'll probably get comments from me in future, btw) and i just wanted to say thank you for your writing and thank you for your prongsfoot<3

i've been very critical of this sort of new, cool and aloof and martyred version of remus lupin for quite a while now (honestly, where did all those traits come from?!) and gosh, you're so eloquent when talking about him!!!

i was wondering what your thoughts were on regulus black? because i think he's getting the same sort of royalty treatment as remus does by making him sort of-- er, perfect? i mean. i've seen so much recently of him basically saving the world single-handedly and i-- ugh. and james is always just there, like a useless idiot? it makes me irrationally angry, and this is coming from someone who enjoys jegulus quite a bit. my problem is that i don't know if this rejection i feel against those two comes from a place of genuine dislike of them or from a place of wishing sirius and james were not done so dirty.

anyway, again, thank you for your writing. it's truly beautiful. hope you have a great day!

omg hello 🥺 i’ve periodically opened tumblr, giggling like a loon, and logging off multiple times just to see this ask,,,,thank u sm , ur way too kind <3 and ur comment on ao3!!! i was just,,,,yeah,,,no words. thank u.

ooooooh i remember being asked something similar a while ago and i took the safe route and basically went ‘remus lupin-ification of regulus’ iirc. that still stands. but but. i’ve also got another answer here! all hail tumblr’s search system today!

i still basically stand by all of it, but adding onto the jegulus + sirius bits of it:

annoys tf outta me when regulus is turned into a victim and like sirius damned him to hell when he left . i have thoughts about the way both of them were treated (which,,,another time,,,this post is already getting too long lol) but i imagine the day sirius left to be a Good One for reg bc he thinks he’ll have his parents undivided attention now. i also think regulus is severely defanged in a lot of characterisations, as if he wasn’t a baby DE, as if he wasn’t a slytherin from the house of black, as if he wasn’t walmart sirius black. like man i’m almost offended on his behalf. i’m sure his shaking his lil fist up at us from wherever he is.

with jegulus…okay, i’ve only read a couple oneshots but that doesn’t mean i haven’t tried. i genuinely went thru so many fics trying to get something, anything to stick and i think the problem is me. fully. completely. without doubt. i just can’t deal with a situation where j&s aren’t each others no.1, or at the very least, equivalent to that. that’s where my issues w wolfstar started, same w this. jegulus also has the added horror of ‘james and reg sneaking behind sirius’ back’ which is just,,,,gosh,,,,i have So Many Thoughts ab that. all personal opinions, but still. they’re strong. it fucks me up just thinking about it. i also think the ship tries wayyyy too hard to fit the ‘best friend’s brother’ trope and ends up sacrificing characterisation for it. which,,,again,,,that’s fine but it’s all the ‘oh this is how it was!’ that gets to me. and then james :/// he gives off such weird energy lol. jegulus gives me drarry vibes, and james is treated almost exactly as harry is in a lot of those. reg also gets the saviour treatment, like draco, and both of their fuckery is toned down until they’re almost normal, like they never did any reprehensible shit. j&r, and d&h are placed on the same moral equivalence and it’s just a bit. hmm. okay. (my issue with this is how it leaks into the writing and suddenly i’m made to sympathise with draco bc harry slashed him w sectumsempra, but we conveniently forget he was gonna use an unforgivable, ykno?) so overall it just feels…pushing reg up and pulling james down to get them on equal footing. very similar to wolfstar lbr.

anyway. that’s a ramble and a half lmao.

also!! ‘a place of genuine dislike of them or from a place of wishing sirius and james were not done so dirty’ in my mind, both of these occupy a similar plane of existence. so very valid. for me, personally, hating remrem started as the latter and i eventually realised it’s also the former lol i was just mad a how sirius is bastardised to justify his ~deification and it eventually moved on to ‘wow i just. do not like him’. damn.

[amysgiantbees]

Love in the Air

Spoilers

Just thoughts as I go I'll add to and edit this later...

I got into this show because I was wondering who the people the camera lingered on to long were in Wedding Plan (LOVE Wedding Plan). So since I saw Wedding Plan first every time I look at Rian's hair internally I'm like "just you wait it gets better I promise".

It would annoy me that Rain does the annoying so demure, so inexperienced shyness silence all the time if he didn't consistently not have two brain cells to rub together. So the silence as he tries to put any thoughts together really checks out.

God I relate to a man procrastinating and fucking up uni. I need more failures as my protagonists like this. Love him. Very relatable.

It bothers me more than I'd like that Saifah is meant to be the younger twin to Payu. He looks older and his is actor is two years older. If he was clean shaven I think it would work more. But every time they mention he's meant to be younger I just cannot by that.

I saw a review calling this a a modern queer bodice ripper and yeah 100%. I also am enjoying it a lot more now that I've heard that. Everything feels like it fits into place. Like you know how you do that fear factor/sensory thing where you touch something or eat something blindfolded. It could be totally fine and good and still a bit scary or weird if you don't know what it is. I just feel like I like shows a whole lot better personally when I don't go in blind. And yet the ADHD so often calls for me to do 0 research into what I watch XD

Episode 8 now and damn Prapai you had to open your mouth. You were so hot and beautiful before, probably helped by you not being the most arrogant man in the room (racetrack). But here you are. A nepo baby making your secretary cancel important meetings so you can bother people and change outfits. SIR get your shit together.

Nevermind I love him. Also love his secretary.

God Prapai's outfits are just INCREDIBLE! Like, not enough that he's wearing good, beautiful, colourful suits, but he has interesting ties and gorgeous pins. The stylist went off with Prapai.

I usually love how important family is in Thai media I've seen but I actually need Prapai and his brother to be less close. Or his brother to be SIGNIFICANTLY less open about how horny he is.

Sky you are now ADHD to me because I too need to keep notes on people I like too. Also I know your sleep sucks because of trauma but bad/irregular sleep is also a sign of ADHD. Plus risk taking behavior in HS.

Rain is ADHD too TBH. Inattentiveness, risk taking behavior, getting distracted, not thinking things through, time blindness and procrastination - his assignments. Also they both seem to study a lot better with other people.

Watching the special and love their friend full on villain laughing at the opportunity to bully them. Just love the bullying and banter in this. Sky getting Rain on his hands and knees is *iconic*.

I think the couples are very close to being something I wouldn't like because of the dub-con, alpha male/protector, gender role wife-husband shorter/fem man is automatically submissive stuff. Which is not only regressive but tired and cringe. However, it subverts this or is self aware enough to not be annoying. I mean you'd hope to have properly distinct couples but so much stuff I've read doesn't even do this. Sky loves to bully and tease Prapai. Like how Prapai's aggressive initial flirting was meant to be playful. I think so is Sky's jealousy and verbal combativeness. Which makes Prapai's stalking and Sky's excessive jealousy less uncomfortable or annoying and more fun because it's like they're both in on the joke. Similarly, Rain's dumb jealousy and misunderstandings could be lazy writing to make the plot happen. But Rain seems genuinely barely annoyed and Payu is so morosexual that again, it at the very least feels adjacent to lamp shading these tropes. Like they're in on the joke.

LOVE the special. Especially the table scene but could they not of had Sky playing a game on his phone. I would be much more into the scene if I wasn't low-key laughing at the completely black screen. Even if it immediately said game-over while he was pretending to play it. Also, considering how much egregiously blatant product placement I've had to watch since getting into Thai media you'd think they could find some game company that would jump at the chance to be there even in this small capacity.

So love them overall. Very cute!

[claire-starsword]

Authentic Story of the Shining Force - Saint Fencer Max - Chapter 1

First, a small preamble on what's this. This manga adaptation was published monthly by Shogakukan from March to August 1992. In other words, it started at the same time as the game was released. According to the artist, they began discussing the work in January 1992, and he got to play a in-development version of the game then, which gives us some interesting insight into things that might have changed before the game's launch, especially when it comes to Max and Cain's backstory. Really, if you like Cain you should read this, I'm doing this for you.

Scans of this complete book (only published in 1994) can be found on the Internet Archive. I did not find scans of the magazine issues it originally ran in. The artist is Toshihiro Ono, of the infamous Electric Tale of Pikachu. Thankfully it isn't as weird about women as that one, but that's a low bar. You will see a couple of boob jokes, alas.

I currently do not have the energy to typeset and clean up 130+ pages, so i'll be nevermind! i'm incapable of half-assing things lmao, will be cleaning and typesetting everything to the best of my ability (i've never translated a manga before. be nice to me).

Now, let's enjoy the story together.

Translation notes:

Even the title already requires some explanation. The way is it written in this book at least (シャイニングフォース正伝聖剣士MAX) doesn't make it clear which part is title or subtitle, so I've seen other places translate it as "Shining Force - Authentic Biography of Saint Fencer Max". I feel my version is more accurate though. As for the "Saint Fencer" part, this english reading is given by the book itself, while writing it as 聖剣士, which I feel would be more accurately translated as "holy swordsman", especially when 剣士 is already the swordsman class in english. This is likely a case of non-english speaking artist picking out a random reading from the dictionary just for style points, just like Max's name also get rendered in latin letters just because. So yeah I considered changing it, but you know? This manga is already so goddamn weird. Why not make that obvious from the title itself.

Cat panel!

Did you know that there are unused cat sprites in the final game, which show up multiple times in early builds of Guardiana? This is a deep cut reference! Or not, maybe the artist just wanted a cat independently, who cares I need everyone to know about the cat, we were robbed.

"Well, Claire, is Lowe being a small child some sort of scrapped content too?" Ahahahaha. NO. Lowe's design and role were announced way back in October, in the earliest coverage of the game. I have no clue why the artist decided to do this. I assumed for months that this was fanmade because of this. The same goes for Lou, I have no reason to believe a love interest was ever in the cards for Max in the game. The writer probably just wanted to fall into some common fantasy tropes of "man who fights to protect family".

Speaking of, Lowe usually refers to Lou as just sister (nee-chan) and brother (nii-chan). This doesn't sound natural in english so I usually ignore it and use the character's names, however, there's little else establishing that he and Lou are siblings in this chapter and I wanted to get that across already. It will also be important to establish that Max is a big brother figure to him, but there'll be time for that in next chapters.

Max's "alright!/yes!" is meant to be kind of a catchphrase. According to the artist, it was inspired by a magical girl anime called "Yousoko Youko". I don't know about it to comment, though.

Runefaust's name being rendered as two words is also something that shows up in some earlier coverage of the game as well. It will already go away by the next chapter, but I wanted to point it out.

[elisedonut]

(Hiii, Sirius/Remus/Percy anon back again ^-^ )

I like the smut element in this fic (because it's helpful to their relationship and it's fun to write) but I'm a little worried because the first scene is a bit dubcon, they both don't wanna be there, it's Percy first relationship, Sirius feels like shit, it's a weird situation yk? So I'm worried I'm not going to get the emotions right and it'll come off as Sirius being all r@pe-y

You should definitely write that! (there is serial shortage of both omega Percy fics and Percy centric smut fics lol)

I'm glad the hate was just silly then :)

Another snippet!

"Sirius's mouth is hot on his, lips soft and tasting like the lemon slices he puts in his tea. He crowds him backwards, hands fumbling for purchase, half slipping under Percy's waistband. His back hits the counter, hands clutching the marble and Sirius's knee moves between his legs and he gasps, leaning into the friction, legs spreading. Eager, unfolding under him, a part of himself reveling in the tension breaking, the anticipation of what follows. And then as quickly as that pressure is applied, he's gone, stumbling back, the flowers they picked earlier fluttering to the floor. 'Fuck.' Sirius mutters, dragging a hard through his hair. 'What am I doing?' 'Sirius, wait!' Percy calls but he's is gone, disappeared to get drunk again. What kind of a omega are you? He scolds himself. Not even your own husband can stick around you."

Wbwb!

Ah yeah that's valid tbh its a fine line when it comes to dub-con. but I'm also biased because I love dub-con especially in Omegaverse type situations. For me part of the appeal is the whole control issue.

which is sad because more and more I'm seeing omegaverse fics where the characters have far too much control of themselves for my taste personally. like i keep seeing fics where its just like "Oh you don't want this I know you don't want this" And the Alpha being able to handle staying in the room while the Omega is in heat with only a clenching hand and some sweating and I'm always so disappointed.

Like no dude Heat now, regret and hate yourself for it later

or you know hold your breath and run away that's always fun too

Like if someone IRL says they can't control themself they are lying but part of the appeal for me with Omegaverse is that I think that shouldn't be a lie for them. I think they should have to fight tooth and nail to not follow their instincts and while obviously that wont be as strong in a non rut/heat scenario I personally do think it should still be there just like lighter.

Like I've seen a few times where writers make the control issue more of a non issue on the whole but then have it being really difficult to avoid with the main couples by adding like the more compatible people are for each other the better they smell and the harder it is to resist them and i find that very fun tbh

Anyway i went on a tangent because I just like to talk and I have tons of thoughts about Omegaverse but point is Omegaverse is inherently a dub-con type trope so I wouldn't worry about it too much!!

And perhaps!! I do think we are very lacking in Omega!Percy fics and i do have a lot of concepts for him in my head though not all are actually smut so maybe one day!

As for the snippet!

That's really good! very fun!! but poor Percy

This is going to be so messy that's so fun

Everybody's having problems and all their problems are making it worse for everyone else and i love that so much

[pendulum-sonata]

It never ceases to amaze me how uninspired some people are with their opinions on the enemies to lovers (and viceversa) dynamic - which half of the time people didn't even ask them lol - and how invariably shows that they think nothing is possible about this beyond some sort shallow and lite version of it, that's not even actually enemies to lovers, or they just think it's nothing but a trashy or crack trope that romanticizes toxic or abusive relationships. And even if some portrayals are like that, that's not the problem and those are more valid than the shallow ones tbh.

This isn't even me trying to talk about antis, this is about people who are generally nice and civil about almost any sort of shipping, but when you mention this particular trope, they just can't seem to visualize anything than the above mentioned examples, and don't understand why anyone could ever like the more "extreme" examples.

And this is just my opinion, of course, but I feel like at least part of the problem comes that they conceptualize the idea of characters being enemies, as nothing but wanting to kill or otherwise hurt each other for no other reason than personal grudges, misunderstanding or just plain toxicity, and don't see the full-blown version, they miss on the whole scenario beyond that dynamic, because in fact, a huge part of the tension comes precisely because the personal desires of the characters, which end going against their goals, their duty, or a promise they can't abandon, and really if there isn't at least a level of opposing goals or ideologies, then I don't count it as enemies to lovers, period.

On the other group that thinks this is all about indulging in toxicity and unhealthy relationships, something that even if it was all there was to enemies to lovers, it still wouldn't be a problem, because yeah, the yearning turned into obsession, the curiosity turned into attraction, the hatred that easily slips into passion, but it's only one of the stages of it, usually the early ones, then it evolves into a relationship that's more stable and reciprocal, but the conflict remains, AND this is where my first point becomes important, because the relationship evolves, but the board in which the story develops, the conflict that makes this, an enemies to lovers scenario is still there, they can't be together, because of that. And when a well-developed enemies to lovers story does this well and reaches this point, the so-called "toxicity" that some people love to denounce, takes in a new form, which form you ask? Well, that's the fun part, there are many possibilities on how this ends up resolved, and I have some examples that I'll summarize here, that, by the way, are ALL original media, I clarify this because I rather not spoil anyone from anything they may be working their way through, and because, there are also people who believe this plot-line only works in fanworks:

"Why can't you abandon them and stay with me?" "Are you willing to abandon the promise to your people for me?" Said by the main couple, on opposing sides of an upcoming war, after laying the cards on their situation, not hatred but also no concession, neither can give up on their respective sides.

"I do not wish to survive when my home is collapsed." Said by one character after the other tries to save only them from a disaster they're helping to bring, also, no hatred or even animosity, just a constant tip-toeing game of 'I know you know what I know' until the unavoidable happens.

"Didn't you say before today that you trusted me? That you liked me?" "Because I'm naive, I like you, but now I've seen through you, and even if I still like you I don't believe you anymore, and thus, I'll slowly, little by little, not like you anymore..." exchange after an important reveal from the love interest's real goals, this one is interesting because the former wants to hate the other, but they can't, not yet, and the other is still in a weird denial of having their cake and eating it too.

"I don't care if you did or not, I just care that you enjoyed it." "And why shouldn't I delight to see you squirm? You tricked me, played me for a fool," Exchange while dancing and humiliating the other but also in the middle of having to figure out how not to get one of them killed.

"You're the one I love, but how do you feel?" "We're married of cou-" "I'm not talking about marital duty, but I understand, love doesn't come easy, I'll wait" Very sweet exchange right? Except that the loved one thinks to themselves, that this is the only thing they can't grant and one day they'll be able to tell the truth, but for now they have to lie, why? Because they'll have to kill the other one day.

[marlowe1-blog]

Book Review: The Dragon Hoard by Tanith Lee

Tanith Lee does whimsy and I'm very confused

Tanith Lee is one of those writers that fantasy writers love and emulate. Her prose is impeccable. Her take on older stories is always adding new perspectives. Her characters are often fascinating in their evil. Alongside classics like Birthgrave, the Flat Earth series and Paradys there are dozens of bizarre and creepy books that bring fantasy to a new level.

In her career she's had a few outliers. The Gods are Thirsty is a historical fiction about the French Revolution and how things can go very badly very fast. Silver Metal Lover is one of those science fiction books that brings the Turing Test into love and while it's pretty obvious that the robot is only telling her what she wants to hear, how much do we distinguish between true love and love that goes on in our heads (yeah, I have issues)

This is the first time (and probably the last time) that I've read a whimsical book by Tanith Lee. I know that she's written books for children and YA readers that tone down a great deal of sex and violence and nihilism, but this is the first time I've read a book where the main purpose was to amuse the reader.

Stephen King wasn't kidding when he talked about how the first published book is the one that is the least like the author (actually that was an insight by Jack Finney in regards to Invasion of the Body Snatchers but he agreed with it) but I've never seen a first book that was quite as much of a weird outlier than this one. Tanith Lee is not the writer you go to for whimsical children's books.

Then again, there are some very Tanith Lee touches. The plot moves in unexpected ways. There are certain bits that fit together like puzzle pieces. Her characters are exaggerated, especially the ridiculous evil witch Maligna who has bats in her hair. She's also very cheerful about playing around with tropes. The aforementioned Dragon's Hoard is taken without a problem because honestly the dragon doesn't care. One character is cursed to want to give everything away. There are a couple nasty wolves that are often used for comic effect. The curse that turns the Prince into a raven is mostly used for comedy.

There are also points where characters get names like Goodness and Fearless and oddly enough they actually live up to those names.

The main feeling I get from this book is a wonder at what Tanith Lee's career could have been. I don't want Tanith Lee to be any different. I only wish that she had lived on after 2015 and was still writing, but strange to think of an alternate world where Tanith Lee had a Terry Pratchett like career.

[bookwormcosplays]

Never watched Marvel anything. I don't like superhero movies or action movies. This will not be all positive. If you can't handle jokes or critiques of your favorite thing, this is not the place to be. I am pirating all of this because I do not support Disney. I am now starting my marvel journey, let's go.

Iron Man: Why is this actually good? Am I actually enjoying myself? But also an employer x employee relationship is very weird. Don't ship it. Surprised this was an orgin story. It was cool.

Hulk: A little too heavy on the "she loves a monster" trope, but it was alright. I wouldn't write home about it.

Iron Man 2: "oh remember that one black guy in the last movie" "yeah what about it" "he's not here so let's replace him with another black guy and maybe no one will notice." Why is Elon Musk here? Better than the first. Better villain(s), more cohesive, and things felt more intentional. Bonus less corny relationship scenes... Got to the end nevermind. Same corniness.

Thor: I hate all the tilts. I actually... Didn't enjoy this one. Thor might be interesting interacting with the other members. But NOW I can finally get all the Loki jokes. The end credit was interesting though. What does it mean??? (Don't tell me.)

Break time... Am I watching superhero movies or am I watching The Notebook? I don't want to see these love stories, bro. There's not a necessity to have a 'he gets the girl" moment to make an enjoyable hero movie. It's genuinely irritating me, but I will continue until The Avengers. I'm just saying if this is all it is, I'm not continuing this marvel thing.

Captain America: "Go get him. I can swim." Let's go. Representation of kids that aren't helpless. There's no way Steve didn't look at Fury and didn't think in his head "how is this black person allowed to speak to me like this?" And then say a little racist slur. Enjoyed this more than Thor and Hulk. However, I feel like I've seen stories and watched movies like this before. The only difference is the superhero aspect. I don't know what exactly, but something different could've pushed the story further to make it more interesting. Same critique of another unnecessary love story in my superhero film. From what I've seen, I can understand why people ship Bucky and Steve. I'm not really feeling the ship. Maybe that will change. So far none of the heroes have been catching my eye. I haven't got that moment of 'that's my new favorite character.'

The Avengers: This is what I've been waiting for! I have a couple of marvel movies that I've been trying to get to and this is one of four. Literally the shield agents are put there to die, not the main protagonists of course, but all those agents immediately get killed by the antagonists. They changed hulk too? Honestly, don't mind it. Loki is the definition of daddy issues. I can see why so many tumblr people relate to him. Not the "kneel." Loki is a sub who wants to dom, but he can't. Possible power bottom? Seeing all these movies in this order, despite how much I HATED the love stories in between, it really set up this movie nicely. I understand everyone's individual battles and personalities that I wouldn't have if I just started with this. Mister Fury is really irritating me at this moment of time. I know they're supposed to be the superheroes, but I would not feel safe in any city they're in. They're out here destroying major cities. I wish Hulk's thing made more sense. Now he can suddenly control Hulk to attack specific people/things when a couple of hours ago he was fighting the whole team? They should've addressed that. THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT. THIS IS WHAT I WANTED FROM THIS SERIES OF MOVIES. I guess I will be continuing marvel movies.

[dream-critical]

what do you think about George, Foolish and Karl? don't hold back. Speaking of Bitzel, who do you think are some CC's that dislike dream?

Alrighty so fair warning I never really watched foolish and George so if you have things to add or would like to say something about them feel free to send an ask! Also this got pretty long so putting it under a readmore

Anyway I'm gonna be honest here. Never have been fond of George. He's boring and average and painfully white. And like, that's not a bad thing in general bc. Like yeah being Average is fine like that's normal.

But the way stans act like he's sooooooo hot and sooooo funny etc is weird bc he just. Isn't? Maybe it's bc I'm a lesbian but I just don't get the hype at all. I do suspect it's bc he tries to be as neutral as possible on everything and not share his real thoughts on stuff afaik so they see him as an easy target to project all their thoughts and emotions on to. And the way some people will make him look extra feminine or sooooo petite and girly bc they ship dnf and play into weird and fetishistic tropes is just gross. I've already talked about my opinion on rpf here before but like in general I feel like he's too absent to really stan while also being wildly mistreated by the people who claim they love him. He literally just looks like every other random British person ever.

He also just. Never seems truly happy streaming. I only watched a couple of streams of his before I left the fandom but like. Idk he seems like he's over it and always has been.

Karl is. Idk. I have complicated thoughts on him? Like on one hand I feel like he's leaning into the softboy aesthetic too hard, almost as if he's just trying to appease people. on the other hand like. If he truly wants to express himself that way he has every right to do so and he should do whatever he want.

I do feel like he gets unnecessary hate from Mr beast fans especially since Mr beast just. sucks. But also he has been called out for a couple of things like misusing and just overusing AAVE, I'm pretty sure he made a Hitler joke once. Also the banter guests, the charity stream with I think autism speaks? If I remember correctly. The ice Poseidon stuff etc.

It's all just ????? Like it feels like he's trying to seem harmless and soft to just. Get away with shit? he has talked about anxiety a couple of times though. But also like you are an adult bro take responsibility.

Foolish is. Eh. I legit didn't watch his content bc while he obviously is a talented builder I didn't really think he was funny or interesting. idk if he still associates with the others but if he does thats questionable.

When it comes to Bitzel saying other CCs also dislike dream. I'd say it's probably mainly the smaller CCs around him. I've looked into it more and maybe quackity as well? Bc apparently he hasn't interacted with the Dt in a while in like. A sincere and genuine way.

I do wish they would speak out but hm idk. We'll have to see.

However. I do feel like talking and speculating about this gets a tiny bit parasocial. Like it's interesting ngl. But I don't think like. Trying to figure it out and reading into every single interaction deeply will help anyone and I have seen some people do that shit.

We can't really know, they won't tell us and they are probably all very wary of speaking up bc dream stans are very aggressive and obsessive lmao

[kichimiangra]

What is the relationship between Aki, Yumi and Kei?

They never call her by any title like aunt or Ms., so they seem to have an informal acquaintance.

Is she just an older friend who invents stuff or an agent of theirs? All three have green eyes, so that might be a clue that they're related somehow.

Was she the woman who took them in after their parents got arrested for the Toddlers in Tiaras brawl?

Maybe they're emancipated and she's their minder or roommate?

As far as I can find all sources (Wikis, tv tropes, etc.) say that Aki is their Aunt, though I don't remember if that's ever stated in the game itself. I think that the character section of the instruction manual is where that info comes from but I can't confirm that, as my copy of AE3 didn't come with a manual, so I've never personally read it. The old wiki page once upon a time said that Aki was Natalie's Aunt as well but that has since been removed, I think it was just a mix up between her and the twins though.

Mind you although it's usually safe to fall into the default definition until other info states otherwise, and "Aunt" could be anything really. I've got aunts that were just family friends of my parents with no relationship to me by blood or marriage, aunts who were women who dated an uncle but never left the status of 'Aunt' even after they broke up, and in japan itself it's not uncommon to just call an older woman who isn't old enough to be a granny and 'Aunty', and if Tomoki's age is similar to Aki's she'd be closer to 30 than 20.

Though not going to lie the mere idea that she's like, their casual godmother while their parents are doing one of their multiple stints in jail for recreating that episode of southpark where Stan's dad is getting into fights at his baseball games is just narratively hilarious of a thought! Like, Jimmy: "Hey guys this is a weird question but... do you have parents? You live with Aki and I never questioned it because.... I mean my family isn't exactly 'average' and all so I didn't find it odd until just now? But I don't think I've ever seen your parents and I've known you guys since I was 9 or something? I've known you longer than I've known Pipotchi and I'm only just now realizing I've never seen your parents???" Kei: "Oh, they're in jail! :) "

Jimmy: "They're in-- what?"

Yumi: " Again."

Jimmy: "They're in... BUT WHY?!"

Yumi: "Fighting at our shows and physical altercations with people who leave bad reviews of our shows." Pipotchi having a lightbulb moment: "OH HEY I THINK I SAW THEM AT YOUR NEW YEARS SHOW!!! Weren't they the couple that started beating that guy from that magazine with an uncooked lobster?" Kei: "YEAH! THAT'S THEM!"

Jimmy: "OH MY GOD THAT POOR LOBSTER!!!???" Kei: "Aren't they supposed to be getting out soon?" Yumi: "Yeah, later in the month... but you have that photo-shoot for the autumn line a little after that so I wouldn't hold your breath for a lot of time to hang out with them." Kei: "Ahhh yeah."

I never thought of them as changing their hair beyond having natural "anime hair" like Jake, BUT if they did dye their hair the cirrent colors, and we have no parents to visually check with, the only relative known being Aki, we could assume that they are also redheads, making every member of team Protag aside from Jake a natural redhead :>

[levitatingbiscuits]

I found your take in the height difference discourse interesting, mainly because I agree, but also because the exact opposite is also true (at least in my experience).

I get the ick a lot of the time Cody is portrayed as the short one in the relationship, mostly due to the connotations that come with being the short one as people have detailed many times before. It’s the exact same problem with Obi Wan being the short one, as in that they’re woobified or even viewed as the submissive one in the relationship or even as the ‘woman’ (and I can’t even begin to get into how many layers of fucked up that is) but what also happens with Cody is it feels a lot more exploitative and sinister than it does with Obi Wan. The difference in their ranks is an interesting thing to explore when it comes to them, but the problem comes when younger or less experienced writers end up portraying them with a power imbalance.

Would canon Obi Wan ever take advantage of anyone, especially in that way? Of course not. But that doesn’t stop some writers. It just feels a lot grosser when Cody is the one being babied, at least to me. Especially since a lot of these people go out of their way to make Obi Wan bigger and more powerful than Cody.

To be clear: you are absolutely right, but I just wanted to throw my two cents in. I think any portrayal of a ship has the capacity to be problematic, we just need to be careful we don’t resort to relying on stereotypes or overused tropes that come with shipping dynamics. Cody or Obi Wan being noticeably taller isn’t inherently bad, but the internal biases of the writer are what could potentially make them that way. All rational people know height has absolutely nothing to do with any of this, and it’s strange that we’re gotten to the point where this inevitably ends up being a problem in every single fandom.

Yeah, I can see how that would be a problem. I've never encountered a fan work where Cody is a smol uwu bean, but that could get pretty weird for different reasons. Codywan is a ship I enjoy for the devotion and fluffiness and old married couple/coworkers vibes, so I tend to avoid fic that specifically revolves around the power imbalance or the age difference, which is likely why I've never encountered this.

I have encountered clone fics where the chronological ages and "sheltered" upbringing (for lack of a better adjective) is leaned into HARD, which can give me the ick if they're portrayed as sexy or appealing rather than tragic or an obstacle to romance. Maybe the ultra smol Cody trend is an extension of that?

And yeah, not all exaggerated size differences are problematic. Some of the clones have canonically turned out extremely large due to cloning mishaps, like Wrecker. Often it's just because the writer or artist thinks it's cute. I've read some very interesting fics that lean into the sci-fi body horror aspect of cloning and even how being genetically engineered to be extremely large can be an obstacle to the clones being seen as anything other than weapons. Sometimes fics can discuss epigenetic factors to explain height alterations, which is very plausible because Jango didn't always get adequate nutrition and rest growing up and the clones were all standardized and specifically made to be at his physical peak.

But the fact that these trends keep happening in this fandom makes them worth examining and dissecting. For example, I remember a lot of stormpilot discourse about why Finn was so often depicted as significantly larger and more muscular than uwu smol Poe, when that's not what John Boyega and Oscar Isaac look like. I've even read some Han/Lando fics that did the same thing to Lando, even though you could just write Skyrissian or Solorgana or Lando/Leia or Skysolo if you want a big size difference in your ship. Considering the star wars fandom's history of racism, I think that it's worth examining why it's so often characters of color that this happens to.

[anti-dazai-blog]

Howdy! I've got a couple anon asks on my blog telling me to report and/or block you so I decided to finally check you out!

I'm absolutely in love with Dazai (I also really like the actual author's works! I hope I can save up some money to bulk buy his books sometime in the near future :)) and I was really curious when I saw your username.

I personally don't really identify, I guess?, with your way of thinking?? Does this make sense to you???? But I feel some sort of kinship because I HATE Chuuya in a way that I feel is similar to how you "hate" Dazai. I don't act hate him, that's very strong and also these guys are fictional (despite the namesakes and abilities that are modeled after real authors, many of whom I greatly enjoy!) and from what I've seen you're not spreading any negativity???

I also hate Dazai x Chuuya (I can't even remember the ship name lol) mostly because of Chuu-Chuu and because although I've enjoyed their dynamic/trope in other ships, this one just infuriates me and disagrees with my general vibe-ology I suppose lol, so all this to say, I see no reason to block or report you. I'm sorry you have to deal with so many people that lack basic reading comprehension and critical thinking.

I wrote all this on anon because I want to avoid having too much drama on my blogs, but I hope this doesn't cause a shitstorm for you, particularly because of the shipping part... I really love bsd but god sometimes the fanbase makes it hard to enjoy, as I'm very fandom-oriented. If you'd ever reply to an ask off-anon privately I'd love to send you some salutations by name :)

I hope you're well! And sorry for this admittedly strange ask.. I have been getting asks like I mentioned about you for quite some time now XD I'm glad to find that this blog is actually chill and fun instead of whatever the hell people who don't read think it is.

Stay safe!

Oh wow that’s a lot

I really wanna put all of this behind me, but the asks you got were from an well-known account that’s run by an obsessive Dazai fan who has been harassing countless bsd accounts for months now. If you scroll through my blog you should find stuff from her. (I don’t wanna get into detail here, but please dm me because there’s some stuff I wanna ask about this privately)

—yeah, I get it entirely— everything you said about Chuuya (although I do like him, I just don’t understand why he’s as popular as he is), and about the ship of Dazai x Chuuya (which I too don’t ship, although I enjoy their dynamic/banter occasionally). I’m not very active in any internet fandom, and bsd is the biggest fandom I’ve ever “participated” in, so I assumed it was just one of the many fandom things I don’t fully get. So it’s nice to see I’m not the only one who’s lost on why the fandom is the way it is.

This may be a weird thing to ask, but if possible (and if it fits with your blog aesthetic), could you maybe post something telling people to ignore the account sending asks saying to report me? If she sent that stuff to one account, I guarantee she sent it to 50 others. Again, I know that that’s a pretty big thing to ask from someone, especially since you don’t know me. So no pressure, I just don’t want my account taken down or something.

Anyway. Thanks for bringing this to my attention. I really really appreciate it.

[random-gay-writer]

The Flash Thoughts #1

I started watching The Flash and don't want to keep bothering my girlfriend with my commentary so I'm putting it here since no one will care anyway lol

I have seen clips and compilations before I decided to actually watch it so I know some stuff that happens.

A compendium of what I've already sent them, I will clarify nothing:

I don't want to watch The Flash TV show, but for the second time I keep getting clips on youtube for it and... I might watch The Flash TV show

The main thing I know is I fucking love Killer Frost lol

I started watching The Flash

It's fun so far I do know a lot of what happens in the future, so it's fun seeing the beginning lol I do wish Flash was funnier though, but I knew going in that he was more stoic

Yeah, and I get that but like... maybe choose a different hero if that's the hero type you want??? lol, Barry definitely has a reason to be a little emo boy, I'm not denying it, just kind of wish we had some more of the funniness

I do like the casual homosexuality in the show

Yeah, the captain says his boyfriend wants him to eat healthy so he could only eat burgers at the office And then Hartley, episode 111, he lost his family money because he came out to them It's just so casual and I love it. Like having queer couples front and center is nice, but having just gay people living around them without a big to-do is amazing

They are really loosey goosey with who knows about Barry's identity

Honestly, good on Eddie for pointing out something that feels off and making a boundary

Oh come on! The captain just got engaged, he can't die!

Barry and Iris finally kissed, honestly thought she was going to get with The Flash first and find out, but then he accidentally reversed time and now they never got together and I'm guessing he forgot that part

It's pretty good, I just personally am annoyed by the "changing an entire day for the worse with time travel" trope that happens sometimes

At this point, half of Central City is going to know about Barry's identity

The timeline is weird. Reverse Flash says he is born 136 years from now, when Barry is around 25, and says that they are rivals How old does Barry live to be? How old can he be? I fear I will get no answers

I look forward to it because this is confusing

I'm not surprised, shows that have nine seasons usually do lol

Barry should not save his mother. I know it sucks, but this is not smart, man. But I know his mom comes back somehow and I think she's called Speed Force

Ronnie is so sweet, but I know he doesn't last, so I'm trying not to get attached

There was a tiny flash of Killer Frost in the last episode of season 1! I love foreshadowing like that

Damn, girl lost her man twice Poor Caitlin

I also like that Cisco has something too, I didn't know that from the things I watched before, but I like that he can see into alternate realities or something

I don't blame Henry, I would also not like to stay in a city that convicted me of murder and thought I was guilty for fifteen years

"I thought you hated him." "Not as much as I hate you."

Patty's cute, but like... we know he ends up with Iris lol It's cute seeing him with other people, but we know the end game

They got pretty experimental with the shots in season 2, good for them

Also, I'm guessing metas can only be detected after they've been activated because Earth 2 Wells used his meta detection app to show Barry and Cisco were metas but it said nothing about Caitlin Unless there's some kind experiment gone wrong later on that makes it happen, but I hope not because it'd be cooler, plus we saw already that meta abilities can lay dormant until they're activated

It just alerted the wearer to meta humans It buzzed and went red around Barry and Cisco but was blue and still with Caitlin

It's not a man, it's HawkGirl! Cisco is so dumb

I do feel really bad for Grodd, he's just a lil' guy trying to live in a world not made for him

Things really change so fast lol, in season 1, Felicity goes from being single, to being with Ray, and now in season 2, she's with Oliver I know time is different on Arrow versus Flash, but still

And I just got confirmation that Kat McNamara is in a couple episodes of The Flash! I love her and knew she was in Arrow but I just thought to wonder if she made an appearance in The Flash

I did not know John Barrowman was in Arrow

I like Patty but it's not a good look to break into a building and then shoot someone with really no probable cause

There is, one thing I do hate is when there's a crossover and one episode is on each show and the "last time" doesn't give you the recap of the other show I just had to Google what happens with a plot line since I'm not going to Arrow just to watch one episode

I just love Snart, he's so complex!

The Flash secret identity is literally the worst kept secret in Central City

Like, I get Wally's mad, but he just sounds soooo whiny, like your mother hid you from your father and you're... mad at him for... not being psychic? You're an adult (maybe), grow up dude

Probably unpopular opinion, but I don't give a fuck about Reverse Flash anymore, I don't need Eobard here. Like I'm sure it'll tie into the timeline and stuff but just, we already have fucking Zoom to contend with, why is this banana motherfucker back? Get a life, homie