#also yeah I named my cat after that Becky

[dnp2010]

January!

Mine and Phil’s birthday month! 🩵

Feat. Becky the Cat.

against her will

[rosetheex-editor]

[Video transcript begin.]

[The transcript begins from a bedroom floor, someone can be heard hammering nails into something. Before propping the phone up to show a metal torso, with one arm. And a lady sitting on the floor. The woman doesn't speak but a voice is heard in the background.]

?: Rose? How long have you been up?

[Voice identified: Henry.]

[The other person responds with something out of frame, causing Henry to gasp.]

H: ROSE YOU HAVEN'T SLEPT? YOU SHOULD HAVE ISN'T PR COMING OVER TODAY?

[A sharp knock can be heard, along with giggling.]

[The other person speaks pointing at the metal torso. Her voice sounding like it was put through a cheese grater.]

R: h- hide buddy…

H: Yep.

[Rose grabs the phone and slowly gets up, grabbing two crutches before moving to the door.]

R: o- ow… my throat…

[Rose opens the door slowly.]

[Behind the door stands a group of women. All smiling. Ness is there with the leader, who happens to also be the tallest.]

?: OMG! Hey girl!

[Voice identified: Ophelia.]

R: tall…

?: Yeah… she's very tall and a lesbian… Brain why?

[Voice identified: Ness.]

R: n- nobody in… pr is straight.

O: Damn straight! I mean. Um. Damn gay!

[Ophelia giggles, the volume of her voice increasing. Seemingly by accident.]

O: So! May I come in?

?: Before you do, can I just say, Rose. Your voice sounds like shit.

[Voice identified: Eden.]

O: Eden! Be nice!

R: hi… evely-

[Rose cuts herself off, Ness looking worried by the second.]

R: eden.

Ed: Yeah. Thanks for getting it right this time.

[Eden clacks her teeth together, showing off the fangs that had sunk into Rose’s arm just over a month ago.]

R: t- that reminds me…

[Rose lifts her arm into frame, slowly removing the bandages and showing the scar to the PR members and Ness.]

R: s- still alive bitch

?: Woah! Eden, you can just. Give scars like that now? Awesome!

[Voice registered, awaiting name…]

Ed: Oh, shut up, Becky!

[Name registered: Becky.]

Be: Fine! We’ll be talking about this later though. That’s cool as fuck!

R: not so… c- cool when you’re in a hospital bed… f- for almost a month.

Ed: I’d do it again in a heartbeat, dicknips.

R: a- and i'd be happy to bash… y- your fuckin head in bitchlips.

O: Okay, I totally love mixing swears together as much as the next gal, but we have a few things to work out, don’t we?

R: eden… isn't coming in.

Ne: Rose just.

R: Eden. i- isn't. coming. i- in.

Ed: I didn’t want to, anyway. Lived here for weeks, I’ve seen enough.

[Before anyone can delay her entry any longer, Ophelia steps in, grabbing Ness and Becky, pulling them in after her. Her grip on Ness’ arm is tighter than her grip on Becky’s hand.]

Ne: OW! Ophelia my arm-

O: So! Where’s Adam? I’ve been so curious about him since I heard about the little guy!

R: d- don't know. nice dress tho-

[Rose is cut off by Henry screaming and a cat meowing.]

H: MY TOE!!!!

R: i- ignore him. nice dress ophelia.

O: Aw! Thank you! I actually… Oh, where is my bag! Adelia? Where’s my suitcase?

[A distant voice is heard, presumably Adelia.]

Ad: Right here girl! Sorry, I had some trouble with it.

[A suitcase is rolled into the apartment. Ophelia grabs it and opens it up. Revealing a ton of shopping bags.]

O: I felt bad about taking Ness out of the country without permission. So I got you some things to make up for it!

[Ophelia beams at Rose. Almost eerily. But the rest of her face and tone is friendly.]

R: n- none of this is gonna… spy on me right?

O: Of course not!

R: a- and speaking of ness… i… s- see y'all gave her… a b- bit of a makeover?

O: Yep! She bought that on her own, though. Amazing what a Showfall company card can buy you!

[Rose turns to only face Ness, She has on a long purple dress with red roses, a red bow is placed on her short green hair. as well a fancy necklace is placed around her neck.]

R: y- you good ness?

Ne: Oh yeah! They took care of me, don't worry! Right Ophelia?

O: For sure! Yeah! Ness was a great addition to girls night.

R: d- don't hurt her and… m- maybe if you want she can tag-

[Rose is cut off by another scream, causing her to scream in return.]

R: GIVE ME A MINUTE!

[Rose coughs.]

R: keep her safe… she c- can tag along again i guess… just don't hurt her.

O: Of course, Rose. Why would we ever hurt her?

H: ROSE IT’S ON MY FOOT!

R: give me a minute!

Ne: Wait what's on henry's-

[Rose sets her phone on a counter in a way everyone is visible, before running off.]

Ne: -foot.

O: She’s nice!

[Ophelia elbows Ness, a smug grin on her face.]

Ne: Ow! what was that for!

[Ness laughs, clearly joking.]

O: You’ve gotta shoot your shot, girl!

Ne: WHA- I- UM-

[Ness' face turns a bright red, she hides it in her arms.]

Ne: I… was already gonna do that actually.

O: Well hurry it up, buttercup! You’re going to lose her to some other girl if you don’t act fast!

Ne: I WAS GONNA DO IT TONIGHT-

[Ness cuts herself off before falling to the ground, As soon as that happens A brick comes flying through the window being caught by Ophelia. Attached is a piece of paper.]

[Ophelia stares at it, before showing it to Ness.]

O: Look. Seems like your secret admirer wants to give you a gift.

Ne: 'You won't get the chance, you'll lose your head'? What the fuck?

O: Oh well. Doesn’t matter.

[Ophelia grabs the note and shoves it into her mouth. Swallowing it.]

Ne: God… I really hope y'all find this person… But um yeah… I was gonna give Rose a literal Rose tonight and do this whole thing…

O: Awww! That's so adorbs! Let’s get this wrapped up so you can go do that, eh?

[Rose can be heard sighing.]

R: s- sorry… a project of mine… f- fell on henry's foot.

Ne: IS HE OK???

R: y- yeah… laying with luna right now.

Be: Hate to interrupt. But… Adam? Can we see him?

[A man sneaks far behind the women, fire extinguisher in hand.]

Be: And Leon, you can put the fire extinguisher down.

?: How the fuck?

[Voice identified: Leon.]

Be: Hey! These enhancements aren’t just for show!

[She motions to her mechanical antennae.]

R: ugh… I'll get him. he's not moving though.

O: Wonderful, bring him here.

[Rose slowly walks out of frame, returning after almost a minute with Adam.]

R: h- here… j- just don't hurt him.

[Before Ophelia can take the arm, a robotic voice rings out through the apartment.]

?: CALIBRATION COMPLETE.

[Voice identified: Adam.]

O: Oh?

R: ADAM?

A: VIRUS WIPED. POWERING ON.

[The arm whirs into motion. Moving each individual part one at a time. Before turning to face Ophelia.]

R: ADAM OH MY GOD YOUR BAC-

[Rose's voice stops as she enters a coughing fit, coughing blood visible on her bottom lip.]

A: You.

O: Hm?

[Adam lunges at Ophelia, wrapping himself around her neck. She yelps in surprise.]

R: a- adam no! stop!

[Ness tries to remove Adam only to fail.]

R: ADAM GET OFF!

[Rose coughs some more.]

Ne: ADAM ROSE IS HURT! GET SOME WATER!

[Ophelia laughs, seemingly unaffected by Adam’s attack. Until he curls the tips of his fingers inwards, and she stops laughing. Instead grabbing for the base of the prosthetic.]

R: DON'T HURT HI-

[Rose coughs even more.]

Ne: Adam now!

[Ophelia yanks the arm off of her neck, red now dripping from a few spots down onto her dress, she pouts a little, and holds Adam away from her.]

R: d- DON'T YOU DAR-

[Rose makes a noise that barely sounds human, Ness turns pale and starts screaming at the people in the room.]

Ne: I'LL GET THE FIRST AID KIT ONE OF Y'ALL JUST GET HER SOME WATER!

[Ness runs out of the room.]

O: Now, what was that for?

A: You know. Bitch.

R: a- adam… what are you talking about…

A: PR. Virus.

[Ophelia rolls her eyes. And stares at Adam, smiling slightly.]

O: You’re upset about that? Jeez, dude! Way to hold a fuckin’ grudge!

R: adam. bat.

[Rose slowly stands up, using her hand to wipe the blood from her mouth.]

O: Don’t.

R: w- what's stopping me?

A: Me. Sit. I need to. Converse.

R: f- fine…

A: Thank you.

O: I feel a little goofy holding you up like this. Can I put you down or are you going to attack me again?

A: Please place me down.

O: Alright.

[The arm is set down, Ophelia tilts xer head at him.]

A: Why.

O: Why what?

A: Why put the virus. In there.

O: Buddy, I don’t know the reasoning, I’m not the one who did it.

A: Caused me to hurt. People. Immensely. Why would you do that.

O: I’m trying to think like Cass, here. A distraction? But from what? Hm. Yeah, I have no clue.

R: j- just a guess… m- maybe from… eden

O: Maybe. But you don’t have to say her name with such disgust, Rose. That’s mean. She was just doing her job, you know.

R: i… t- trusted her… t- thought of her like m- maybe a sibling… a- and she put me in the… h- hospital for almost a month.

O: That’s on you for doing that, girl. There were tons of people warning you. I remember seeing all of that and sweating bullets, but you just wouldn’t believe them.

R: i… i g- guess i've always… d- done that…

O: Mhm. You need to trust people way less. I learned that the hard way 75 years ago. Anyway. Adam. I have no idea what to tell you, dude.

A: Liar.

O: Hm.

[She leans in, and whispers something that the phone can’t pick up. Her volume lowering to a near silence. Despite being metal, Adam seems to tense up.]

A: I hope you explode.

O: Alright, man. Uh, so… can I get some water? Please? If you wouldn’t mind.

[A friendly smile can be seen plastered on her face, she looks directly at Rose. For just a second too long. And then looks back at her suitcase.]

O: Oh! Right! Gifts! Hold on, I’ll get them out!

[Rose continues coughing, out of frame enough where it isn't visible what's happening. She speaks, her voice now even more messed up.]

R: f- fine. g- get a glass… g- get the tupperware of food… too.

O: Alright!

[Ophelia bends down to rummage through the suitcase with one arm, and the other extends over to the cupboard, which is fairly far away, and out of frame. The tap can be heard turning on. A few moments later, it turns off, and her arm retracts with a glass of water in hand.]

Be: I keep forgetting you can do that. Scares the shit out of me every time.

O: Ha! Yeah, sorry, Becks! Now, where did I put that…

[Ophelia pulls out a few bags. And hands them to Rose, not getting up.]

O: Open it! I made sure to get you something you’d like.

R: g- give me a second…

[Rose seemingly points at something out of frame.]

O: Do you need help cleaning that up? I’m an expert, you know. I’d be happy to clear all of that up for you.

R: w- we have a mop… w- where? uhhhhhh s- shit where did dad… put the mop…

[Ophelia looks at Rose for a few seconds, her expression softening for a small moment, before snapping right back into place. xe gets up and starts looking for the mop.]

R: d- don't worry about it… j- just… i- I'll open the bags…

[Rose opens the bags one by one, pulling out multiple shirts and jackets. Each one looking as if they were taken from the 80s and 90s, many of them having pastel colors. Rose sets them back in the bag before slowly standing up.]

R: t- thanks… i guess…

O: Do you like them? I really hope you do, I’d feel terrible if they weren’t to your liking.

R: i… like them…

[Rose coughs again, this time the blood falling from her mouth is visible. As Ness walks back into frame.]

Ne: Hey adam. Uh Ophelia I got the first aid kit.

O: Thanks!

[Zey extend their arm to Ness, grabbing the first aid kit, and retracting it back. Beginning to bandage her neck.]

O: Today’s visit has been wonderful, thank you for having me over!

Ne: Um… Did anyone get Rose water? Like I asked?

O: I took care of it, don’t worry.

[Rose drops to the floor again, the coughing continuing.]

R: s- son of a BITCH!

Be: Ooooh. That doesn't look good. Does she have tuberculosis? We have a bit of experience with that. Remember when Cass had it? That wasn’t fun.

Ne: No um… I actually don't know…

R: n- none of your business… j- just know s- showfall t- tried and f- failed… t- to get me back…

O: Hm. Ness, keep an eye on her, not like you haven’t been, but… yeah.

Ne: I mean… It probably doesn't help that she screamed bloody murder for god knows how long… When Edgar… Y'know and um…

O: We should get going, but before we do, I have another thing for you guys!

[Xe takes another bag out, and places it on the counter, closing her suitcase. Before rummaging around and grabbing a tupperware container. She takes a step towards the door.]

Ne: What's that?

O: We forgot you didn’t have your ears pierced… so we got these. They’re real diamonds, by the way. So don’t lose them!

Ne: Huh?

Be: Ophelia, you can tell them upfront!

O: But that’s no fun!

Be: Ugh. We got you diamond earrings, but we forgot you don’t have your ears pierced. So we had to get you the necklace.

Ne: Oh um…

[Rose can be heard seemingly talking to herself.]

R: m- mai… y- you really couldn't wire anything right… i said that outloud…

O: That’s a little deeper than I want to go today! There’s a few more pieces of jewelry in there, too. Just as a fun treat. Some of that stuff is from my own jewelry box!

Ne: Oh um… Thanks!

O: Only the best for our very own honorary PR member! Now, we should really get going, have fun, you two!

[With that, the PR members finally leave the apartment, their giggling can be heard retreating down the hall, along with a few giddy shrieks. Possibly from gossip. They finally fade. Leon stands up straight, having been crouched in the corner for the whole visit.]

Le: ‘Honorary PR member’? Ness. You have some explaining to do.

Ne: I know I know! Right now can one of y'all get Rose her medicine while I find the mop?

Le: Alright. [Aside.] Coast is clear! Y’all can come out now!

[Leon goes to rummage through some cabinets while Liam and Katherine emerge from a room.]

R: h- hi… m- mom… l- liam…

?: Hey, I heard the commotion from in there, are you okay?

[Voice identified: Katherine.]

[Liam waves, but says nothing.]

R: B- besides the blood… and whatever e- else… y- yeah… j- just wish that wasn't one of the side effects from… y'know the night that task m- manager tried to get me back…

K: I know, you’re going to be fine, though. You’re going to have some medicine, and maybe a bit of rest. Alright?

R: a- alright… i w- was… working on buddy all n- night so…

Ne: [Distant.] Who the fuck is "Buddy"?

R: r- robot me and henry a- are… w- working on for sparrow…

[Katherine walks over and picks up Adam.]

K: You’ve caused a lot of panic in this apartment, you know.

A: Do not. Focus on me. Other issues. All software and hardware is in perfect condition.

Le: Found it!

[Leon walks back into frame and hands something to Rose.]

R: t- thanks…

[Rose takes something out of the bottle, presumably medicine.]

R: s- soda?

Le: Won’t the carbonation hurt your throat?

R: d- damnit… kool-aid?

Le: Yeah, of course. I can do that.

[Leon walks back out of frame. Just as Liam walks over with a piece of paper.]

R: 'I’m g- glad the blond one wasn’t here. b- but I don’t like that any of them were in here in the first place… t- they killed my dad. I d- don’t like them'… i k- know liam… i k- know…

Ne: [Distant.] Sorry about all of that by the way…

[Without saying anything, Liam hugs Rose. Then retreats back into his room.]

R: i… feel so b- bad for l- liam… g- god…

Le: Yeah. He’s just a kid. He hasn’t even graduated… high school– FUCK WAIT. HE HASN’T BEEN GOING TO SCHOOL.

R: o- oh… fuck…

Le: LIAM. PLEASE TELL ME YOU WERE HOMESCHOOLED OR SOMETHING. PLEASE TELL ME WE HAVEN’T MADE YOU MISS MONTHS OF SCHOOL.

[Liam’s hand pokes out of the room in a thumbs down.]

Le: FUCK! SHIT! WE NEED TO–

K: Leon, calm. It’ll be fine.

R: i n- never got… t- to graduate… a- and i turned out f- fine.

[Liam pokes his head out, a neutral expression on his face. He goes back in and then returns with another note. A linear equation written out on it. He hands it to Rose.]

R: s- seven times five… equals fifteen… um… um…

Le: Rose.

R: Um… x equals… um…

[Liam grabs the paper, and writes something down on it. Showing it to Rose.]

R: I WOULD’VE GOTTEN IT!

[Rose coughs again.]

R: ow.

[Liam shakes his head, then walks over to Leon, the two of them having a conversation via Liam’s paper. It fades into the background.]

[Ness runs in with the mop and a bucket.]

Ne: Katherine I'm really sorry about PR coming in I swear on m-

[Ness cuts herself off.]

Ne: On Mari's mother. I didn’t mean for any of that!

K: It’s fine. We’re just mad that you let them take you to the fucking Bahamas without even CHECKING IN FIRST.

Ne: In my defense. Alcohol blood loss and 5 hours of sleep do NOT mix well.

K: The hell even happened on that trip?

Ne: Apparently I sang 'Copacabana' on top of a table… Uh I don't remember much else.

K: I’m going to guess we’ll get a detailed description from one of them on that blog.

Ne: Yeah probably… Um…

[Ness shows Katherine her hand, missing ring finger and all.]

Ne: That happened.

[Katherine shrieks, grabbing Ness’ arm and inspecting it.]

K: What the fuck did they do? Was this during the trip? Is it infected?

Ne: Me and Eden got in a fight in the park. I'll explain if you ask. No. And also no.

Le: Oh yeah! There was a transcript!

[Katherine turns to where Leon’s voice was heard from, a look of disbelief on her face.]

K: This is why you shouldn’t confiscate my phone, LEON. I would’ve liked to know about that!

Le: Sorry!

Ne: I did more damage to her than she did to me… Stabbed her with a spear and almost broke her nose.

K: Your finger is missing! We– hold on, what's in that bag on the counter? Have you opened it yet?

Ne: No? But Ophelia said it was filled with jewelry.

K: I… we should open it, I think.

[She grabs the bag and opens it after walking back over to Ness. She yelps, and nearly drops the whole thing. Shoving the bag into Ness’ hands.]

Ne: What?

[Ness looks in the bag and slowly turns her head.]

Ne: Oh… There’s my finger…

Le: Guess it’s not missing, then! Sorry.

K: Of course they’d do that.

[A loud metal crash coming from one of the rooms, followed by a cat meowing.]

H: [Distant.] Buddy fell again!

Ne: WE'RE BUSY!

K: HENRY GET YOUR ASS OUT HERE. NESS IS MISSING A FINGER.

H: BUDDY FELL ON MY FOOT I CAN'T WALK!

K: IT CAN’T BE THAT FUCKING HEAVY, CAN IT?

R: t- torso is like… a foot tall i think? and made of three inch thick metal… s- so yes it can.

K: Henry, you’re weak as fuck. You can walk. Don’t make me drag you out here.

[Henry walks into frame with a limp, His hair is messed up and his eyes are red.]

H: What?

K: Ness is missing a fucking finger!

H: Oh god damnit… Ness what school jock did you piss off this time?

Ne: I DIDN'T PISS OFF A JOCK THIS TIME! EDEN BIT IT OFF! Damn you get into one-

[Henry cuts Ness off with a cough.]

H: You went to the school nurse almost every day FOR A WHOLE SCHOOL YEAR! fighting the school football team. It was more than one.

Le: I had a friend like that back in the 80s!

K: Who?

Le: … Do I really need to say.

R: d- dad?

Le: Yeah, it was always something with that guy. One time he broke a water fountain after tripping into it. They gave him ice and he was back in class within 30 minutes.

Ne: Sounds like edgar. Anyway this is nothing! One time one of the members of the school football team hit me so hard into a locker, Like three of my ribs cracked!

K: Ness you’re missing a finger.

Ne: I still have nine more!

K: God, you guys are impossible! Since you won’t take your injury seriously, let’s change the damn topic before I bite one of them off. What day did you say those tickets were for?

Ne: The 28th? O H S H I T-

R: i- I'll get changed… e- end the transcript. wait… that's not the command…

Le: Wh– did you have one going on PURPOSE?

R: n- nope. i just know it's recording… b- because when the fuck is it not?

A: On. it.

[Adam skitters up to the phone.]

A: Goodbye chat.

[Transcript end.]

[enderpearlgirl1005]

My True Love Street

Chapter 1 Moving in

On a bright sunny day a beautiful group of girls were moving into a new house. The house had two floors, and a basement so it was nice for them as there were about five of them in total. Four of the girls were outside the house observing it, they admired how big and lovely their new home was.

"Wow, this place is awesome, what do you all think?" One of the girls named Skyler asked curiously.

"Well yes, I agree fully. After all, A helped us out with finding it, oh and it has a tennis ball course. So I'm sure you'll love it Sky." Another girl named Cleo explained.

"Well I love it! I can't wait to see the inside! I'm gonna paint my room pink and decorate it with puppies, cats, oh and little pandas! Ohh! I'm so excited to be living with my besties!" Another girl named Bella exclaimed with sparkles coming off her eyes.

"Hehe, what do any of us expect out of you Bella, just don't spread that to my room, after all in college you did do that." Another girl named Becky stated while crossing her arms.

"Aww, I said I was ssorrry! How long you gonna stay mad at be Becky?" Bella asked in a cutesy sad voice.

"I'm not mad at you, I'm just giving you a hard time." Becky explained reassuringly, while also putting her hand on Bella's shoulder.

Bella smiled and made a cute little kitten face after hearing Becky's words. The girls then heard a loud thump, alongside a groan of surprise and pain. As soon as the noise hit their ears they all ran up to the moving truck where the noise had come from. When they got there they saw their friend sitting on the floor while rubbing her head and groaning a little, now from frustration.

"Wow, hey Allie, you good?" Skyler asked, surprised to see her friend like that.

"Ugh! Yeah, I'm fine. One of Cleo's big books just fell on my head while I was getting my laptop out." Allie explained.

"Aww, did you get a boo boo? Do you need Bella to kiss it all better?" Bella asked in a cutesy tone.

"No, the pain's gone, I'm good now." Allie explained as she got up.

"Well it's good to hear you're alright, and Cleo, I feel like you should stop putting all your most heavy and big books on the top of our stuff." Becky explained while looking at Cleo.

"But I did, I think one of the movers had put it there." Cleo explained.

"Well that doesn't matter, I'm fine and my laptop is alright too. I wouldn't be able to stream or make gaming videos without it." Allie explained.

"Yeah, and without your streams and videos, we wouldn't be able to afford this place." Skyler explained.

"Yeah, well I'll still be working at the flower shop. After all, it's good to have a job in case something happens and I won't be able to stream or post videos for a while." Allie explained.

"Well, let's start getting our stuff out and decide on our rooms. That way we can relax later and maybe watch a movie with Pizza for dinner." Becky offered.

"I can go with that, I love pizza. It is a nice break from my protein and energy foods." Skyler stated while she checked her nails.

"Yes and I'll be able to find a good room where I can store all my books." Cleo said.

"Well what are we waiting for?! I wanna paint my room pink and put all sorts of cute animals in it!" Bella exclaimed excitedly and ran into the new house at supersonic speed.

The other girls all began unloading their things and looking through the different rooms for where they could unload their own items.

"Hey Allie! Come up here I found the perfect room for you!" Allie heard Becky call out to her.

"Coming Becky, give me a sec!" Allie called back to her friend.

She then placed a box she had in her arms and went up to where she heard Becky's voice calling out to her. She walked up the mahogany wood stairs up to the second floor. The second floor had a closet and about five other empty rooms.

"Wow, there's a closet up here, that'll be useful to keep cleaning supplies." Allie commented when she saw the closet.

"Hey, Allie, in here!" Becky called out.

Allie looked and saw Becky coming out of one of the rooms, it was at the end of the hallway, with a wall to the left side and another room on the right. Allie had internally hoped that Becky would take one of those other two rooms, or Cleo, or Skyler. As much as she loved Bella, she didn't want her to be next to her room, as she has a bad habit of barging into the room next to hers. This caused her some inconveniences as back when they were dorm rooms in college as she always barged in when she was streaming.

Allie walked into the room and saw that it was a very big room, big enough to fit all her recording and streaming things along with her other items. "Wow, this is so big! I can fit all my things and streaming stuff in here!" Allie exclaimed happily with a bright sparkle in her eye.

"Yeah, that's why I believed it's perfect for you, oh and don't worry, I made sure Bella's room won't be next to yours." Becky explained.

"Wait really?" Allie asked while looking at Becky.

"Yup, we know she has that bad habit, so she'll be next to Cleo. I already asked her and she said that she won't mind, after all, she only reads in her room." Becky explained.

"That's true, she really wants to get into the big research company on plants, space, fungus, and other wacky things." Allie said.

"She sure does, well anyway, you can start bringing your stuff up here and I'll show the other girls where their rooms will be." Becky explained before walking out of the room.

Allie looked around the room, she couldn't believe that Becky had found such a great room for her. It had so much more space then the room in her college dorm, this will make streaming much easier and better for her. After a moment of admiring the room, Allie left the room to start collecting her things, she planned to first set up her bed then her streaming stuff.

Several hours had passed, and now the sun had well set to the other side of the earth, bringing day there. Now the sky was painted with a deep dark black and blue with tiny glimmers of stars. Allie stood outside on the patio admiring the night sky, as she always did after a long day of hard work.

"Hey, Allie, you want to have some Pizza?" Allie heard Cleo ask. She turned around and saw that Cleo had a phone, pen and notebook in her hand.

"Oh sure, I'd like a pepperoni pizza with a stuffed crust... that also has pepperoni in it." Allie explained.

"Sure, thankfully I know just the place that sells that. Alright so you want that, Me and Bella want a vegetarian pizza, Skyler wants hawaiian, and Becky wants spicy meat and hot sauce." Cleo explained as she went down the list.

"I don't understand how Skyler can eat Hawaiian pizza, it's pretty gross, I had it before and didn't like it." Allie stated.

"Eh, you know her, she's a little strange when it comes to food. Anyway, I'll go order our food and let you know once it's here. I know you can focus on your streams without the energy right?" Cleo asked.

"Yup, no food before streams, I'll pass out half way into it." Allie explained.

"Alright then, just prepare yourself and I'll inform you when it's here." Cleo said before leaving the patio and heading down stairs.

Allie smiled at this and decided to get her stream ready so she wouldn't have to do it after eating. So she left the patio and went into her room to get all her things set up. She went into her room and admired her hard work. She put her streaming things across from the door. While the other half had her sitting on the same wall as her streaming items. Across her bed was a TV where she had connected her cable to platforms that mostly had anime on them.

"Ah what a great place, I can't wait to start living with my friends here! Oh and I hope to even find a cute guy here!" Allie exclaimed excitedly.

She then got to work setting up her stream, she turned her computer on, got the games she was gonna play that night up. Finally she got the most important part ready, she got her online persona ready. It was a character she made herself that had fair skin, half red and half purple hair, a red dress with a heart opening at the top of her chest. The outline of the dress was purple, along with the outline of the heart. The character's eyes were both red and purple and they looked like an anime girl.

Allie was very proud of herself as she loved how her online persona looked and how much attention it attracted. Once she was done with setting everything up, she heard Skyler calling out to her.

"Hey Allie! Pizza's here!" Skyler called out from down stairs.

"Coming! I just got done here and thankfully I hadn't accidentally gone live yet!" Allie called back.

She then left her room and went downstairs to have her food and chat with her friends before going live to stream. Once she was down there she saw that all of the boxes that held items for the living, kitchen, and other rooms that weren't the bed rooms.

"Hey girls, how has the unpacking been?" Allie asked.

"So far I only got my room done. I got all my weights, jump ropes, and other workout tools in my room along with my bed of course." Skyler explained.

"I was able to get out all my animal plushies, anime figurines, and my shipping art!" Bella exclaimed in a bubbly happy voice.

"Well all my books are in my room so I'm set for a while till we get everything else unloaded from the box's and into the house." Cleo explained.

"Hehe, well my room is set with my desk and computer, along with my gothic items, all I need is just to put up my kind of wallpaper in the room." Becky stated as she wasn't satisfied by the plain white wall paper that Allie remembered seeing in all the upstairs bedrooms.

"Well let's keep up the hard work when we don't have work." Allie stated.

The other girls all nodded in agreement and they all sat in the living room, as the couch and a table was already set up. The five girls all ate their food while talking about random things along with their personal lives.

Skyler was focused on her sports career as she was an athlete, while she wasn't pro yet she was working hard to go pro. She wasn't interested in dating anyone so she did not have a romantic partner nor did she want one, all she wanted was just close friends. Bella had met someone who was a regular customer at the bakery she worked at. The two fell in love and started dating after hanging out for several months. Becky had dated a guy she met through an emo goth party she went to last year. The two hit it off and after months of being friends they started dating. Cleo meanwhile had met her partner after she started tutoring her, Cleo and the girl got close and they started dating.

Allie meanwhile, unfortunately was still single, as she hadn't had much luck in finding someone. Unlike Skyler, Allie did want to have a romantic partner but hadn't had much luck in finding one. She did go to some matchmaking parties, but most of the people she met weren't interested in a long term relationship and just wanted a quick fling so she did not go out with them. Allie was disappointed by this as she wanted to find someone, so she hoped that she'll find someone in this town.

After sometime Allie was full and decided to start her live stream. "Hey girls, I'm gonna start my live stream now. I'll see you all later." Allie explained.

"Alright! Oh and if you get hungry I'll bring you some cream filled butt puffs! It's a new dessert being sold at the bakery I work at!" Bella exclaimed excitedly.

"Thanks, but don't just burst into my room, I don't want to be disturbed when I'm streaming." Allie explained.

Everyone nodded and Allie made her way back to her room and began her routine, which she enjoyed and made her the money she had to help buy this house. She also internally prayed that she'd also find someone here, who she'd fall in love with and date. That way she'd have the kind of relationship her friends had with their romantic partners.

[thecountoflondonfansite]

Henry gave an annoyed glare at his counterpart's remarks. "You do know that not everything in my life is pathetic and dull Hyde." The being known as Hyde gave a hum and somewhat of a soft smile. "Tis true. Our wee pup Amber is the only bright and exciting part of your life. Though give her time and under my influence, she would be a true force of nature for these gullible buffoons." Hyde spoke in a proud tone. This time Henry did give his counterpart an angry glare. "You will not be corrupting Amber with your terrible influence Hyde!" Henry nearly shouted. Hyde only responded with a wide, cat like grin at Henry, further irritating the teacher. "We'll see doctor...we'll see." "Hey dad we're back!" Becky called out to her father as she entered her home. "Hey kiddo. I'll be out in just a minute." A scratchy voice called from the kitchen. Becky gave a quick okay in response before heading to the living room. Her pet monkey Bob grabbed the remote and plopped down on the couch. He turned to television on and changed the channels until he got to the celebrity network. Meanwhile, Becky had grabbed a Princess Triana book and began to read it while she waited for her dad. Soon Dr. Two Brains exited the kitchen though he was still wearing an apron over his regular clothes. "So how was school today?" Two Brains asked his daughter. "It was good dad. We have a new teacher today that replaced Miss Davis since she had to leave for a family emergency. We mainly did introductions today to get to know each other." Becky explained. Two Brains' eyes widened in surprise. "You got a new teacher?" He asked in confusion. Becky nodded. "Yeah I just met him today. Didn't the school send out any emails about it?" Two Brains let out a tired sigh. "It kind of slipped my mind today Becky. I had a lot to do yesterday." Two Brains responded. Becky gave her dad a sympathetic smile. She knew her dad was a bit scatterbrained even before the accident. The cheese obsession and focus on raising her hadn't helped him that much. Usually her, Bob, the henchmen, her aunt and uncle, and a few other people had to help keep her dad on track with stuff. "Its alright dad." Becky replied. Two Brains gave his daughter a small, grateful smile before moving on from his slip up. "So your knew teacher, who are they and what are they like?" The mad scientist asked. "Oh. His name is Dr. Henry Jekyll. He said he moved here from London with his daughter who is five years old. He is actually a really nice and patient teacher. He also knows a lot of words and I didn't even have to define anything for him. But get this, the most shocking thing was that Tobey was on his best behavior today. Dr. Jekyll looked calm and attentive when Tobey was bragging about himself. What surprised a lot of us was when Dr. Jekyll told him his turn was over, Tobey didn't even throw a tantrum or anything. He peacefully sat down." Becky exclaimed. Dr. Two Brains almost had a slack jawed expression from what Becky told him. "Wow Tobey behaved for someone that wasn't his mother! That guy sounds like a really good teacher." The mad scientist exclaimed in an astonished tone. Becky nodded in agreement. Two Brains wandered if there was anything in his emails about a parent-teacher conference with Becky's new teacher. He wanted to meet the guy that got "The Boy Genius" to behave. In another part of town, Dr. Henry Jekyll soon arrived at an apartment complex. He headed towards the elevator which took him to the second floor after he pressed a button. Henry headed to a particular door marked 'Room 205' and used his keys to open the door. Inside a little girl with orange brown hair and ruby eyes was drawing on a table with a young woman that had curly black hair, dark skin, and green eyes. Henry gave a soft smile at the scene before he announced his presence. "Hello I'm back." The two girls turned their heads. "Daddy!" The young child called out. She dropped her crayons and raced towards her father. @unhingedexperimenter

(You can tag me on my tgs side blog. I also apologize but I know a few Scottish words. So to anyone reading this I apologize for the inaccuracy.) Becky Boxleitner noticed a change in the atmosphere as she and her pet monkey Bob walked into the sixth grade classroom. All of the students were excitedly chatting with one another. Becky and Bob exchanged confused looks at the scene. 'What is going on?' They both thought. Becky walked to where her friends Violet Heaslip, Rose Franklin, and Todd Scoops Ming were sitting, also joining in the excited yet low volume chattering. "Hey guys what's going on?" Becky asked her friends. They each turned their heads to greet their friend. "Hey Becky guess what, we're getting a new teacher for our class!" Scoops exclaimed. Becky looked surprised at the announcement. Bob also mimicked her facial expression. "Wait really? What happened to Miss Davis?" Becky asked, wondering what happened to their old teacher. It was just a week only into the new school year so a sudden teacher exchange was a complete shock to Becky especially since there were no announcements about it beforehand. "Miss Davis had to move back home because of a family emergency." Rose Franklin answered. "The principal had to scramble to find a new teacher to fill in for our class. It was all last minute stuff." Becky nodded in understanding of her friends' answers. It was a nice perk to be friends who were upcoming reporters. Soon the final bell rang which indicated for every student to take their seats. Becky took her place beside her best friend Violet and Bob plopped down next to her. Soon a man who looked to be in his mid 30s walked in and towards the desk. He had curly brown air, an arched nose, and reddish brown eyes. He wore a tan button-down shirt with a red vest as well as brown slacks and dark suede shoes. The man gave a pleasant and warm smile to all the students there. "Hello my name is Dr. Henry Jekyll and I will be your teacher for the school year." Becky and the other kids ears perked up as they took note of the man's accent. Even Tobey became slightly interested in his new teacher. None of them were sure where their new teacher was from. Dr. Jekyll gave a light chuckle as if he could sense their growing curiosity about him. He lightly clapped his hands together to gain their undivided attention and focus. "Well since this is my first time teaching here, why don't we all play a little game so we can all get better acquainted with each other. Here's what to do. One at a time, say your name and share a wee bit about yourself. Likes, family, interests and all that. I'll go first to show ya what ah mean. Again. My name is Dr. Henry Jekyll. I was born in Glasgow but ah moved to London where I attended university. I have a five year old wee lassie or daughter named Amber. I enjoy chemistry and reading on occasions. Now who would like to go next?" @unhingedexperimenter

Of course Tobey had taken the opportunity to place attention on himself and to have a reason to boast about himself. “My name is Tobey McCallister the third and I will be the most intelligent student you'll meet here.” The others had rolled their eyes, used to this kind of behavior from their peers. Becky seemed to be the most annoyed by it. Having been forced to put up with his destructive tantrums in the past. Henry smiled just as warmly as before. Unbothered by the obnoxious behavior that the boy had been displaying. Tobey had been going on about himself for a good few minutes before the teacher finally spoke up. “Ahem, yes. Thank you for that Mr. McCallister. Would anyone else like to tell me a bit about themselves as well?” No one could tell that behind the facade, Dr. Henry Jekyll was becoming more irritated by the moment. Not by the child but by the pest that refused to leave him be. Scoffing within his head at what they just heard. He didn't share the disembodied voice's opinion but wanted to give the other children a chance to introduce themselves as well. To the others' shock, Tobey seemed to have taken this well. Quickly going back to his desk with no issues. Becky was relieved at that. Soon the other children had started to introduce themselves to their new teacher with little to no issues. He seemed genuinely nice enough to her. This new teacher didn't seem like most of the adults within this city. Some she had to define words repeatedly for. Dr. Jekyll knew what he was teaching and knew his vocabulary. It was Violet who had brought Becky out from her own thoughts, calling her name. Waving a hand in front of her face. “Becky?” The girl smiled in an embarrassed manner. “Huh? Yes?” Violet smiled, patient with her best friend. “Why don't you introduce yourself now? Nearly everybody else already did.” She had given a surprised expression. Becky hadn't realized that she was so lost within her thoughts until then. She stood up and began speaking. “My name is Becky Boxleitner and I also like libraries,reading and Pretty Princess.” The presence that was grating at the teacher's nerves had deemed this too dull to enjoy. Leaving Dr. Jekyll be to his teaching. Well, getting to know his students. He was happy to see that they were engaged in these activities that were meant to break the ice. Though one student in particular had caught his attention the most. Becky. While she did seem rather bright, there was something strange about her behavior at times. Pausing whatever she was doing at the time to listen in on something. Thinking it went unnoticed. Even once looking alarmed and she made an excuse to go to the bathroom. He had allowed it. Feeling that it would've been better to have let her. It seemed…oddly familiar. As if he had seen that behavior somewhere before but couldn't figure out exactly where from. When the school day was finally over, Becky had gone to go home like the others. Dr. Jekyll had of course stayed behind to set more things up within his new classroom. Making a plan on exactly what he'll actually start teaching the next day. Though, the grating voice had returned to be a thorn in his side. “Come on. Leave this boring stuff alone. Leave it until tomorrow. I've been pent up for far too long. Let's have some fun.” This had earned an eye roll and a loud huff from the teacher. “No, I've got to get this done now. You will have enough time tonight. Just be patient until then.” A shadowy figure formed in front of Dr. Jekyll. A frown on its face. “But this is so extremely dull. I want to stretch my legs. I want to make myself known already.” Dr. Jekyll glared. “And that is precisely why I'm so hesitant to let you out so soon. At least let us get acclimated to our surroundings first.” The figure let out an annoyed groan. “You know you want this as much as I do. Otherwise you'd never have any actual fun in the sad and pathetic life you call yours.”

@thecountoflondonfansite

[wormstacheangel]

Day 6 of @spnprideweek aro!dean/demi!cas my beloved <3

Dean tries to explain to Cas that he doesn’t want to lose him again, this is after Cas comes back as a human, and Cas is his person that he knows he wants to spend his life with but asks Cas to not expect so much from him.

“Dean, if I could just be beside you I’ll be happy.”

“For now. But now that you’re human maybe you’ll want more human things.”

“Like sex?”

“No. No. You can have sex if you--what the fuck am I saying.”

“It’s okay, Dean. Sex isn’t a big deal for me.”

“No, I meant like normal…couple stuff. I just don’t think those things are for me. They didn’t work out before but I’ll try. For you. I want to be with you but-”

“You don’t love me.”

“Not…in the way you want.”

“But you want to be with me.”

“More than anybody.”

“Then, I can live with that.”

“Cas-”

“Dean, I love you. I would love to spend my human life by your side. However, you want me.”

“If you’re sure. I can’t lose you again, Cas.”

“You won’t.”

“Are we gonna kiss now?”

“If you want.”

“Do you want?”

“Yes. I think so.”

“Cool.”

Nothing really changes between them. They are still as close as they usually have been. Sometimes you hear both of them asking for permission to kiss or lean into each other for touch. Cas learns he enjoys sex but he never initiates it cause he doesn’t always feel the need to have it.

They sleep in different beds in the bunker--and when they finally move out they get a place with three rooms so they can have their own space but also Jack gets a room--but sometimes when they want to sleep in, one of them always goes to the other’s room so they can sleep in the same bed. They don’t always cuddle but they enjoy sharing the space.

People know they are together, it’s kinda obvious, but when people ask if they are together, Dean answers with a simple “Yeah.” while Cas answers, “Oh, yes, I belong to Dean. How much for those strawberries?”

Their communication skills have to grow and get better while in a relationship because they talk about what the other is comfortable with. Day to day is a little different. Sometimes Cas doesn’t want to be touched as much and sometimes Dean needs a little space. They don’t have to reassure each other anymore.

Dean has been at Sam and Eileen’s apartment all day, just lazing around, when Sam finally asked.

“Hey. You and Cas fighting?”

“No. Why?”

“Cause you’ve been with me all day.”

“So?”

“I just thought he kicked you out or something.”

“Neh I just needed space today. Cas is out with Jack to pick up Claire and Kaia for some museum thing.”

“Oh. So you two still cool?”

“Yup. Still gonna go home and have him fuck me.”

“Dean!”

“What? I thought that would reassure you! Geez! You wanna know about my life or not?”

“Not your sex life!”

“Noted.”

Dean loves spending time with Cas and having him close but he likes space. He likes spending days with his other friends and family members. He likes having individual time with others and Cas understands and picks up hobbies or takes that time to spend time with his growing group of kids.

When Dean gets home, Cas quickly walks towards him with an excited grin. “I bought you a magnet and this cool rock from the museum.”

“Thanks, dude. What did you name the rock?”

“Rockxanne.”

“Nice.” High five.

"Are you comfortable sharing your bed today? I don't want to have sex but I would like to be held, if you're okay with it."

"Sure. Your room or mine?"

Tag List, my beloved <3

@tearsofgrace @nguyenxtrang @smiledean @chocolatecakecas

@blue-eyed-cutiepatootie @shelikestv @spicyspiesss @icefire149

@archervale @starlightcastiel @sierraxnevada @lexies-obsessions-and-memes @castiel-is-a-cat @slipper007

@belacoded @takemetotheworld @imlivingliferightnow

@celestialcastiel @manifestingdestiel @sinnabonka

@confusedisaster @wikiangela @carryonwaywardsquirrel

@my-people-skillls-are-rusty @thefaeriemagic3 @wigglebox

@im-sam-fucking-winchester @becky-srs @thefantasyfiend

@deanwinchesterstentaclefetish @achillestiel @sarahblakenatural

@likepurplemuses @marichankitty @castielkrushnic

@bestiegirlboss @martymar1963 @destielfactory

@mjthehumandisaster @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover

@destielskygalaxypalace @trasherasswood @s-r-clowns

@eshaninjer @readeroftheimmortalbooks

[asleepinawell]

Book Recs

I was gonna do one of these at the end of the year, but I’ve somehow managed to read 26 books this year already (12 novellas, 14 novels), almost all featuring queer authors and/or characters so this is already a long list.

Note: There’s a few on here I was kind of meh about, but in most of those cases it was a ‘book might be good but it’s not for me so i’ll mention it to put it on people’s radar anyway’ type of thing. Insert the usual necessary tumblr disclaimer about all of this being only my opinion and your opinions are valid too etc etc.

In order of when I read them:

Princess Floralinda and the Forty-Flight Tower by Tamsyn Muir - Fantasy novella from the author of gideon the ninth that’s a twist on the classic princess trapped in a tower waiting for a prince story. Quite fun. (novella)

The Monster of Elendhaven by Jennifer Giesbrecht - Dark fantasy about revenge and magic. m/m couple but like I said it’s pretty dark and twisted all around so definitely not a happy queer romantic story. My opinion was interesting premise that could have been executed better and probably should have been a full novel to embellish on the world building potential. (novella)

A Memory Called Empire & A Desolation Called Peace - Arkady Martine - Probably tied with murderbot as the best things I read this year. Scifi, f/f couple, wonderfully done exploration of what it means to fall in love with a culture that is destroying your own. More of the many queer anti-imperialist books that have come out recently and certainly some of the best. The second one is a direct continuation of the first. (2 novels)

The Tyrant Baru Cormorant - Seth Dickinson - This is the third in the Baru Cormorant series (The Masquerade) and was my favorite so far. The second and third book were originally one book that got split I believe and the second book didn’t stand alone as well (though was still great), but the third book really made up for that. Dark fantasy world starring a queer woc whose country and culture is destroyed by the imperial forces of that world colonizing and assimilating them. She vows revenge and decides to work her way up within her enemy’s ranks to enact it from within and bring an empire to ruins. Really really fascinating study of so many different aspects of our own world and the systems which enable and allow bigotry and how bigoted and violent narratives are used to control minorities. This is definitely a darker series and I was particularly impressed with some of the commentary on the racism prevalent in non-intersectional feminism as depicted through a fantasy world. Can’t wait for the last one to come out! (3 novels, 1 forthcoming)

The Murderbot Diaries - Martha Wells - There’s six of them--5 novella and a novel--and the first is All Systems Red. Told from the point of view of a self-aware droid/android that is rented out by a corporation to provide protection in a dystopian capitalist hellhole future that isn’t that unlike our current capitalist dystopia but is in space. Muderbot hacked the chip that controlled it and instead of going rogue just wants to be left alone to watch its favorite tv shows. Murderbot is painfully relatable and the books are both funny and poignant. Highly recommended. (5 novellas and a novel).

Winter’s Orbit - Everina Maxwell - This was a m/m romance novel with a scifi backdrop of royal intrigue. Generally I’m more into scifi with a queer relationship in the background than vice versa, so it wasn’t my favorite, BUT I think it was still well written and someone looking for more of the romance angle would enjoy it. Has all your favorite romance tropes in it, especially the yearning. (novel)

The Divine Cities - Robert Jackson Bennett - Three book series. I’m very conflicted about this one. Set in a fantasy world where an enslaved nation overthrew the country enslaving them and now rules over them. It’s a story of what happens after the triumphant victory and within that it’s also a murder mystery tied into the dying magic of the conquered nation. It also has a six foot something naked oily viking man fist fight a cthulhu in a frozen river. The second book was by far my favorite, mostly due to the main character being brilliant. My conflict comes from the fact I don’t feel like the story treated its women and queer characters well. Like it had really great characters but it didn’t do great by them overall. That and the third book didn’t live up to the first two. But still definitely worth a read, can’t stress enough how cool some of the world building was. (3 novels)

Into the Drowning Deep - Mira Grant - This might be the only one on here I disliked. It’s got a doomed boat voyage and creepy underwater terror and monsters and a super diverse cast of characters, but I just didn’t enjoy the writing style. While having a diverse cast is great, there were a lot of moments where it felt like characters were pausing to explain things about themselves that felt like a tumblr post rather than a normal conversation you might have while actively being hunted by monsters. I also bounced off all the characters. But a lot of people seem to have liked it so if you’re into horror and want a book with a f/f main couple then maybe you’ll enjoy it. (novel)

Dead Djinn Universe - P. Djèlí Clark - Around the early 1900′s, a man in Egypt discovers a way to access another world and bring Djinn and mysterious clockwork beings called Angels through. As a result, Egypt tells the British to get fucked and Cairo becomes one of the most powerful cities in the world. So Egypt, magic, djinn, a steampunk-ish vibe, oh and the main character is a butch queer woman who enjoys wearing dapper suits and looking fabulous while she investigates supernatural events. Her girlfriend is also mysterious and badass. And she has a cat. There’s three novella (one of which technically might be considered a short story) and then the first novel. You should absolutely read the novellas first (A Dead Djinn in Cairo, The Angel of Khan el-Khalili, The Haunting of Tram Car 015). Super fun and imaginative series. (3 novellas and a novel, more forthcoming)

River of Teeth & Taste of Marrow - Sarah Gailey - From the book description

“In the early 20th Century, the United States government concocted a plan to import hippopotamuses into the marshlands of Louisiana to be bred and slaughtered as an alternative meat source. This is true. Other true things about hippos: they are savage, they are fast, and their jaws can snap a man in two. This was a terrible plan.”

Queer hippo riders!!!! Very much a western but with hippos. Main couple included a non-binary character. Loved the first one. The second one I was more meh about due to one of the characters I was supposed to like having obnoxious man pain that a woman had to take the brunt of the whole time. Also there were less hippos. But queer hippo riders! Definitely read the first one, and they’re both novellas so no reason not to read the second as well. (2 novellas)

A Psalm for the Wild-Built - Becky Chambers - I may be the only person who hasn’t read the long way to a small angry planet at this point, but I did grab her new novella and I loved it. It made me want to go sit out in the woods and feel peaceful. The world it’s set in feels like a peaceful post-apocalypse...or diverted apocalypse maybe. Humans built robots and robots gained sentience, but instead of rebelling they just up and left and went into the wilderness with a promise that the humans wouldn’t follow them.The remaining human society reshaped itself into something new and peaceful. It’s the story of a monk who leaves their habitual monking duties to go be a tea monk and then later wanders into the wilderness and becomes the first human in ages to meet a robot. Very sad there’s no fan art yet. (novella, more forthcoming)

The March North - Graydon Saunders - This was such a weird book that I’m not sure how to explain it. The prose style is hard to get used to and I suspect a lot of people will bounce off it in the first chapter. There’s no third person pronouns used at all and important events get mentioned once in passing and if you blink you’ll miss them. Set on a world where magic is extremely common to the point that rivers sometimes run with blood or fire and the local weeds are something out of a horror movie and most of the world is run by powerful sorcerer dictators, one country banded together (with the help of a few powerful sorcerers who were tired of all the bullshit) to form a free country where powerful sorcerers wouldn’t rule and the small magics of every day folks could be combined to work together. The story revolves around a Captain of the military force on the border who one day has three very powerful sorcerers sent to them by the main government with the hint that just maybe there’s about to be a big invasion (there is) with the implication of take these guys and go deal with this. The world building is extremely complex and very cool...when you can actually understand what the fuck is going on. There is also a murder sheep named Eustace who breathes fire and eats just about everything and is a Very Good Boy and belongs to the most terrifying sorcerer in the world who appears as a little old grandma with knitting. It had one of the most epic badass and wonderfully grotesque battles I’ve ever read. But yeah, it is not what I would call easy reading. Opinions may vary wildly. I did also read the second one (A Succession of Bad Days) in the series which was easier to follow and had a lot more details about the world, but overall I was more meh about it despite some cool aspects. The chapters and chapters of the extreme details of building a house that made up half the novel just weren’t my thing. (novels).

The Space Between Worlds - Micaiah Johnson - In this world parallels universes exist and we’ve discovered how to travel between them, but the catch is you can only go to worlds where the ‘you’ there is already dead. This turns into an uncomfortable look at who would be the people most likely to have died on many worlds and how things like class and race would fit into that and what we would actually use this ability for (if you guessed stealing resources and the stock market you’d be correct). The main character is a queer woc who travels between worlds with the assistance of her handler (another queer woc) who she has the hots for. She accidentally stumbles on a whole lot of mess and conspiracy and gets swept up in that. Really enjoyed it. (novel)

Witchmark - C.L. Polk - Fantasy world reminiscent of Victorian England (I think?) where a young man with magical gifts runs away from his powerful family to avoid being exploited by them. He joins the army and fights in a war and comes home to try and live a quiet life as a doctor, but a murder pulls him into a larger mystery that upturns his life. Also he’s extremely gay and there’s a prevalent m/m romance. This one was a fun-but-not-mind-blowing one for me. (novel, 2 more in the series I haven’t read)

The Priory of the Orange Tree - Samantha Shannon - This was one of those that everyone loved but I couldn’t get into for some reason. I tried twice and only got about halfway through the second time. It’s got dragons and queer ladies and fantasy world and all the things I like, but I wasn’t that invested in the main story (which included the f/f couple) and was more interested in the smaller story about a woman trying to become a dragon rider. There are few things that beat out a lady and her dragon friend story for me and that was the storyline that felt neglected and took a different turn right when we got to the part I’d been waiting for. But, I know a lot of people whose reading opinions I respect who loved it, and if you like epic fantasy with dragons and queens and treachery and pirates and queer characters then I’d say you should definitely give it a try. (novel)

Bonus: I didn’t read these series this year, but if you haven’t read them yet, you should.

Imperial Radch (Ancillary Justice) - Ann Leckie - Spaceship AI stuck in a human body out for revenge for their former captain, but that summary does not come close to doing it justice. Another one examining imperialism and also gender and race.(3 novels)

Kushiel's Legacy Series - Jacqueline Carey - This is two series, six books total, and starts with Kushiel's Dart. Alternate universe Renaissance-y Europe in a fantastical world where sex isn't shameful and sex workers are respected and prized. Lots of political intrigue and mystery. A lot of BDSM and kinky stuff too (the main character is a sexual masochist, oh and also bi!). I first read this series when I was fifteen or sixteen and it definitely made a big impression on me. Same author also wrote the Santa Olivia series which I’d also recommend. (6 novels)

The Locked Tomb (Gideon the Ninth) - Tamsyn Muir - I mean, if you follow me, you know. If you don’t follow me you still probably know. I’d have felt remiss to have left them off though. Lesbian Necormancers in Space. Memes! Skeletons! Biceps! Go read them. (2 novels, 2 forthcoming, 1 short story)

Books On My To Read List:

Fireheart Tiger - Aliette de Bodard

The Order of the Pure Moon Reflected in Water - Zen Cho

Black Sun - Rebecca Roanhorse

This Is How You Lose the TIme War - Amal El-Mohtar and Max Gladstone

Ninefox Gambit - Yoon Ha Lee

Also, if anyone has any recs for scifi/fantasy books starring queer men (not necessarily having to do with a queer relationship) and written by queer men I’d love them. There’s a lot written by women, and some of them are great, but I’d love to read a story about queer men from their own perspective.

[kaypeace21]

Stranger things is about mental health & trauma- deal with it!

I’ve seen a lot of people claim anyone who mentioned this topic immediately be gaslit and told they’re “just crazy” and “rudely projecting their own issues on to the characters.’ Like- no you don’t have to believe my  Will DID/Lonnie theory ( I could be wrong). But to claim one of the show’s central themes isn’t about mental health/trauma (screams either complete lack of lit comprehension or denial cause you have your own negative biases towards such people). So let’s just go into what’s literal text-not subtext/symbolism. Just the super blatant stuff.  RIGHT IN THE SHOW!

S1

-We have El when she first appears on screen  asked by Benny if her parents starved and hurt her and if that’s why she ran away. Benny then calls CPS to say El “may have been ab*sed or something.” After this Lucas says there is “seriously something wrong with her-wrong in the head. She’s probably from the NUT-HOUSE in curly county.penthurst” We also see El  cannonically has PTSD-all of s1 she’ll see something benign (a cat, a coke commercial, a closet) and is triggered to see a traumatic flashback. That’s literally ptsd.  There’s also hints throughout the seasons she’s developmentally behind in both language, telling time etc (neglect like El’s irl can cause an intellectual disability-analysis on El/that subject here).The real pethurst in pensylvannia (not the one in stranger things/ Curly county)  closed in 1986-  it was a facility for people and mostly  kids with intellectual disabilities (it wasn’t technically a psych facility like the one in st)-but it was infamous for it’s abuse of these intellectually disabled patients kept there. We also have Brenner be a ab*sive psychiatrist.

- Hopper after suffering from the loss of his daughter. Is popping pills like candy, drinking and smoking constantly. He later says he used to hallucinate and forgot what was real -seeing and hearing sarah and says if he didn’t confront the pain he’d “fall down a black hole he couldn’t get out of.” NO... subtext here about what the void represents nope.

- Both mothers (Terry & Joyce) are dismissed as being mentally ill and simply grieving the loss of their kids . But both end up being right about the supernatural.

- “Terry pretends Jane is real. i mean it’s all make believe. you know the doctors all say it’s a coping mechanism.”

- While with Joyce the whole town pre s1 already questioned her mental health. Jonathan says “She used to have anxiety problems (pre s1).” And Jonathan, Hopper, and Lonnie all assume she’s hallucinating: talking to Will via lights, seeing a man without a face, saying Will’s body is fake -due to grief. Plus Lonnie mentions the fact Joyce’s aunt Darlene also used to hallucinate as a possible reason  (terry’s aunt also had mental health issues mentioned in s2 by Becky). Lonnie even says everything Joyce is seeing  is “all in her head.”  Hopper and Jon both say she needs to sleep and accept reality and Lonnie says she needs to see a “shrink”.  Hopper “i’m not saying that you’re crazy”. Joyce : “no, you are.” Joyce also says to Lonnie “Stop looking at me like that... like everyone else like i’m out of my damn mind.” Hopper also says about Joyce she’s “on the edge”. Callahan says in response , “she’s been on the edge for a while now” (referring to her mental health- even before Will’s dissappearance)”. While Lonnie says Jonathan is “feeding into her hallucinations ... you’re going to push her right over the edge.” In s2 Hopper says “ I think everyone is on edge- you, me, Will most of all. (when talking about Will’s ptsd/trauma)” 

- in s1 They claim Will just “fell” over the edge of the quarry’s cliff. Later the only other queer coded character (Mike) jumps off the quarry cliff (where Will’s body was found) cause the homophobic troy forced him too jump. Troy even says earlier dead-Will is “flying with all the other fairies all happy and gay” (to Mike). And Troy says to Hopper El made Mike “fly” after jumping off the cliff. Friendship saved him from jumping off the edge metaphorically ( and he’ll prob eventually be happy and gay too).

s2/3

-Will is seeing a therapist . And we are told he has ptsd and will experience the anniversary effect, personality changes,nightmares, having episodes, etc. And things “will get worse before they get better”.  Mike also asks if what Will is seeing is “real or like the doctors say all in your head?” And Will continues to see hallucinations of the mf/upsidedown that only he can see initially.

-Hopper also agrees with owens mentioning how he knew guys with ptsd . joyce : “it’s not like he’s describing a nightmare. He talks about them like they’re real.” Hopper: “Yeah, because they’re not nightmares they’re flashbacks.I think he’s right about trauma.I think everyone is on edge (bringing that s1 ref back), Me you, Will, most of all.Nothing’s gonna go back to the way that it was. But it’ll get better.In time.”

-Nancy suffers from survivor’s guilt and drunkingly says she killed Barb. Jonathan says like Nancy he has “a weight that you that carry all the time . i feel it too.” (cough depression). He also says he tries to be there for Will but says about Will “he’s not the same. maybe things can’t go back to the way they were. (mirroring Hopper’s words earlier that season)”

-Jonathan said in s1 Joyce had “anxiety issues” than Nancy says in s3 “you really are your mother’s son... you worry too much.” Then we see him look worried after the comment.

- in s2, Axel & a scientist both call El and Will “schizos” because of their powers. In s3 mrs driscoll isn’t believed about the supernatural cause she’s schizophrenic-but like Joyce/Terry was right.

- Kali saves a woman named Dottie (a british slang term for crazy)  from a mental hospital and then compares herself and El to dottie. saying her non-powered gang is “Like us ...outsiders... society discarded them.”  In graphitti we even see the title “obedlam” a british poem about discarding the mentally ill and leaving them homeless.  El before this sees a mentally ill man screaming “we’re all dead!” Kali’s friend says to El, after this encounter they were “dead all of us” until kali “saved them here” (points to head) “and here” (points to heart). Pointing to the theme of love and friendship helping those with such issues. Similar to the cliff analogy.

-The cycle of ab*se. Max in s2 says she’s afraid of becoming like Billy (her ab*ser). We see Billy mimic his ab*ser neil and inflict pain on max. In s3 we see the roots of his behavior are linked to mimicking Neil- Neil in a flashback says  about baseball “what are you scared?”  “ did i raise a p*ssy for a son”. So young Billy later in a fight says to a boy “ what are you scared to fight me? fight me p*ssy. (as he beats the boy)” Deflecting his anger of his father on to someone else. In s3, We see as a kid he used to say to Neil “don’t hurt her” (his mom)-specifically after  Neil backhand slaps her -but we later see possessed Billy backhand slap Max (just like neil).  The resentment to his mother leaving - festered into how he views women and max negatively . And his attraction to mrs wheeler prob is linked to him subconsciously missing his mother. Max in s2 even says  he can’t take it out on her mother so he does so to her instead (we even have Billy hallucinate hurting mrs wheeler).We see in s2 the cycle of abuse is there- Billy mimics Neil, and then Max mimics Billy. Billy harrasses Max and yells “SAY IT!” (mimicking Neil).  Max like Billy later  yells “SAY IT” and uses a bat /violence to stand up for herself against Billy- which earlier she said she was trying to combat … explaining she can be angry like Billy sometimes but she never wants to be like him (her nickname symbolizing this: aka ‘mad max’).  Billy’s last dying words were an apology to Max- for becoming her neil. And we hopefully will see Max break this cycle.

- Will says his now memories (that he describes like dreams) are “growing “, “spreading “,and “killing”. While Kali says they need to face their father and (as Brenner) says El has to confront her “wound” or else it’ll “grow”, “spread” and “eventually it’ll kill her.” Kali says she used to be like El . She used to bottle her pain away and it “spread.” But she then says  “I confronted my pain and I finally began to heal (from those wounds).” We also see with jonathan and nancy when describing “shared trauma” zoom in onto the scars on their hands. The wound heeled into a scar so to speak.

S2 & 3 ENDINGS

both have Hopper do a speech that delves into dealing with trauma/depression but still finding good along the way.

-s2 Hopper outside the snowball: “how are you holding up? Yeah, that feeling never goes away. It is true what they say, you know. Everyday it does get easier.”

-s3 Hopper monolouge : “ Feelings jesus. For so long, i’d forgotten what those even were. I’ve been stuck in one place,in a cave you might say , a deep dark cave (cough s2 supernatural cave). For the first time in a long time, i started to feel things again. I started to feel happy. Life... yeah sometimes it’s painful .sometimes it’s sad, and sometimes it’s suprising... happy.. And when life hurts you, because it will .remember the hurt . The hurt is good. It means you’re out of that cave.”

BUT YES- St has nothing to do with mental health/trauma, we’re just “crazy” and “projecting”. It’s not like some of ya’ll  act pompous when you just have a bias and get pissy at the idea of relating to characters you “other” as “crazy” or “damaged” irl or anything (so attack people for pointing it out). Or (benefit of the doubt) you are just like.... oblivious... or just a kid who doesn’t know better XD

[uswntfics]

CATastrophe (Becky Sauerbrunn x Reader)

A/N: Hey y’all, hope you enjoyed this one I randomly wrote it a while ago. As always requests are always welcome.

Y/N shoved her hands into her pockets as she slowly walked along the sidewalk, enjoying the cool air and looking at all of the Christmas lights happily lit up on so many of the houses as she passed. It was still surreal to her that she finally got to take her dream road trip around the U.S.

She had a break from her job as an athletic trainer for Stanford University's women's soccer team before preseason started after also helping out a few WPSL teams over the summer as well. However it was still weird for her to be alone for the Holidays. Ever since she had come out things hadn’t been the same with her family.

She sighed and continued up the path toward the hiking trails. It was beautiful here in Denver but she couldn’t help but wish for something more. She was about to turn around and head back to her car when she heard a sound coming from the brush on her left.

“Hello?” she called, unsure, but she made sure to be ready to run if she needed to. She then heard a pitiful sound from a scared or injured animal.

She knew she probably wasn’t being the smartest but she stepped toward the brush slowly, hoping not to alarm the animal.

“I’m not going to hurt you.” she said in a soothing voice, parting the brush to see a dirty and travel worn cat looking up at her with scared eyes, “Aww hi little one, are you lost?” She cooed, slowly putting out her hand for the cat to sniff her hand.

The little cat must have decided she was okay because it wove closer and brushed it’s head against her leg making Y/N chuckle and scratch it's small head. Beneath the dirt and small scratches it looks like the cat was tabby with some white. Y/N took off her hoodie and wrapped the small cat in it, the cat just meowing and snuggling into the sweater.

Y/N smiled and saw that the cat was wearing a collar with a tag. However the tag was pretty cached with dry mud, so it was impossible to read at this point. "Well let's clean you up at the hotel and call your family. I'm sure they miss you." The cat purred as Y/N scratched under its chin.

Luckily it didn't take too long to make it to the car. Y/N rifled through the trunk of her car, doing a mental victory dance when she saw an old box for her boots which should be the perfect size.

She set the cat that was still all wrapped up in her hoodie, into the box. the cat merely meowed, but it seemed to sense it was safe because it curled up in the box and shut its eyes. Y/N couldn’t help but smile as she carefully shut the door to the backseat and crawled into the driver’s seat and started the car.

The 15 minute drive back to the hotel was uneventful. Y/N checked and made sure the cat was still asleep. When she saw that it was, she carefully lifted it up and found a duffle bag in her trunk, carefully setting the box with the sleeping cat in it, not zipping the top, just setting an extra jacket over part of the opening so that nobody could tell she was smuggling in a cat.

Y/N breathed a sigh of relief when nobody stopped her once she got into her room and shut the door. She carefully set the bag down and started to run the bath so that the water would warm up. she got a few towels ready and then went and grabbed the now half awake cat.

‘Meow!” The cat scolded her as she picked her up and walked toward the sound of the water. “I know little one, I know. But we have to get you and your tag all cleaned up so we can find your family. “ Y/N said softly she laughed as she swore the cat rolled it’s eyes at her.

Y/N grabbed one of the flimsy plastic cups that had been left in the room and set the cat down in the back of the tub. She filled up the cup and gently held the cat in place as she poured the warm water over the cat. “REEEEOOOOWW!” The cat screeched, slightly panicked. “Oh I know honey, I know but we need to get you nice and clean." The cat, who Y/N figured out is a girl calmed down as Y/N soothingly rubbed shampoo into her fur and then rinsed her off, making sure to pay special attention to her collar and tag.

“Missy huh, that name fits you baby girl.” Y/N said as she gently wrapped Missy in a towel and gently dried her off. Once Missy was dry enough Y/N set her so that Missy’s head was laying against her leg as she grabbed her phone and typed in the number from Missy’s collar. She hit the call button and hoped for the best, absentmindedly stroking Missy’s fur.

Kelley O’Hara sighed as she watched her roommate Becky Sauerbrunn stare into space again. Becky hadn’t been the same since her cat Missy had accidentally got out of their apartment in Salt Lake City a week before they had to leave for USWNT Camp. It would be 2 weeks ago today and they haven’t heard or seen anything.

Kelley felt terrible. She had been the one to hold the door for a second to grab the water bottle that she had dropped in the doorway as Becky waited for her in the car to leave for training. Missy was too quick for her to catch..

Their whole Royals team had helped them search for the week, as well as Ashlyn, Ali, and Alex since they had the week off before the camp but they weren’t able to find her. Becky had been even more quiet than normal and it made the whole team feel terrible. Kelley was about to try to make a joke to try to cheer Becky up again when there was a knocking at the door. Kelley sighed when Becky didn’t even look up toward the door.

Kelley opened the door and smiled sadly at her teammates. “Team bonding tonight. What would you like to do Broon?” Alex asked.

Becky just shrugged and sighed, “I’m sorry I’m bringing everyone down but Missy is my baby, and now I don’t know..” Becky sighed at the thought.

“Hey, first of all don’t apologize, we all understand, and second of all I have faith Missy is okay. We’ll help you find her,” Christen said, squeezing Becky’s arm. They decided to play a trivia game since that’s one of Becky’s favorites. Sonnet was floundering for her team of herself, Lindsey, Mal and Sam when She was saved by the bell, or the ring of Becky’s phone.

Ali grabbed it off the nightstand to hand to Becky. “It’s an unknown number.” Becky frowned but answered the phone.

“Hello?” Becky said.

“Hey, this is going to sound really weird but are you Missy’s owner? I found a cat with tabby markings and a white belly and this was the number I found on her tag.”

Becky froze. “What really?! Yes this is her! Where did you find her?!” Becky asked,a huge grin forming on her face. It shouldn’t be too far, one of her teammates could maybe pick her up after training.

“I actually found her on a trail in Denver. She’s all clean and ready to come home!”

“What all the way in Denver?!” Becky was shocked, she could barely wake the girl from a nap and she had somehow ended up hundreds of miles away?!

"Yeah, I'm guessing she had a long journey.." Y/N observed as she scratched Missy's head.

"Yeah we live in Salt Lake City. But I'm in Carson right now and I don't know if I have anyone who could get her soon…” Becky worried.

“well I’m on a road trip right now anyway, I can drive her down if that’s okay.” Becky was shocked. Thanksgiving was in a few days and a complete stranger was offering to drive her cat over 16 hours??

"Are you sure? I don't want to put you out at all." Becky said.

"Of course, it's not a problem at all. We'll leave tomorrow. Is it okay if I text you updates?"

"Of course, and I can't thank you enough! I'll text you the hotel address too! Thank you so much.." Becky trailed off.

"Y/N." Y/N finished

"Well Y/N I'm Becky and I can't thank you enough."

Y/N smiled as she could tell how much this Becky cared about Missy.

"No problem I'll see you soon Becky." Y/N said and hung up. She got a text shortly after from this Becky. After getting ready for bed Y/N chuckled as Missy curled up on her chest. Y/N decided to snap a picture so Becky could see Missy was safe and sweet as ever.

"What was that Broon did someone finally find her?!” Kelley squealed

Becky chuckled and nodded excitedly “Yes! You’ll never believe where she was found!”

“Where Becks?” Christen asked.

“Denver! I mean she is literally the laziest cat ever but she travels hundreds of miles?!””

The team cracked up “Wait if she’s in Denver how are you getting her back?” Tobin asked.

“The girl who found her, Y/N offered to drive her down here to return her.” Becky grinned, she couldn’t be more grateful.

“Damn Broon, you haven’t even met the girl and she’s already willing to drive 16hrs for you! I say go for it!” Pinoe yells, causing Kelley, Sonnett and the youngins to laugh and Christen to smack the back of Pinoe’s head as Becky blushes.

Before Becker could say anything her phone dinged with a text. Becky opened the text and nearly swooned. There was simply a picture of Missy perfectly safe snuggled up and asleep on Y’N’s chest.

Becky was so happy to finally see Missy but She couldn’t take her eyes off the most gorgeous woman she has ever seen.

Her dark hair framed her face perfectly, her hazel eyes so amazingly intriguing to Becky.

She was snapped out of it when Ashlyn let out a whistle “Damn Broon she’s hot and seems to love animals as much as you do! I second Pinoe’s idea!” Ashlyn called as Ali smacked her arm and Becky realized that the team had crowded around her phone to look when she had been staring at the picture.

“Okay leave her alone.” Alyssa spoke up, glaring at the team, causing most of them to scatter.

“Thanks.” Becky said quietly to her best friend on the team, trying to will away her blush.

“They’re not wrong though you know, she should get here right around Thanksgiving Day. Why don’t you invite her to the team Thanksgiving party/dinner. If anything you’ll get another good friend.” Alyssa said calmly, just wanting her friend to be happy.

Becky shrugged as she considered her friend’s advice, it couldn’t hurt anything.

Before she could change her mind she texted the new contact in her phone, inviting Y/N to the team’s dinner.

Y/N texted her acceptance after Becky assured her that she wouldn’t be a bother.

Becky smiled at the message, she wouldn’t admit it to anyone except for maybe Alyssa, Christen and Ali but she was excited to meet the gorgeous woman who had saved Missy. Who knows maybe this whole CATastrophe could end well after all.

[zombiegurlmode]

Sad that Camren Shippers are to blame. But alas, scape goats are necessary for someone to thrive

I’m not done ranting apparently. Clearly, after all of my satirical nature has come to pass, truth of the matter is, for someone who spoke so openly and highly of valuing love and honesty and all that jazz. Your words cut deeper than any knife could. And for someone who openly “claims” of being a part of the LGBT+ community, (whereas the numbers are thriving so much that more letters are added and we’re almost about to fill in the entire alphabet) we have yet to receive such a backlash coming from “supposedly” one of us. Imagine the horror right? True, perhaps your words may have been misconstrued by the public at large or twisted in some form to suit everyone’s selfish needs. I mean after all, isn’t that what camren shippers are called for - delusional AF and toxic as hell. Well, we don’t deny it and couldn’t deny the fact that yes, there are plenty of us who are quite enthusiastic to a fault. Honestly, tell me in what space or bygone era have toxic people never appeared in. Truth of the matter is, it’s how you deal with things and toxicity that affect each and everyone of us. Happiness is only a matter of possessing the right attitude. And no one, not any one, can take that away from you. Not even hardships.

There are several things I would like to personally address though. Camren shippers most likely than not have in some way or the other connected with you. We all something that we could relate to, From your internalized phobia, or from you getting to finally openly admit your own sexuality and fully embracing it wonderfully, or some other things that the others felt truly connected or as you love to so put it “resonate” with you. So don’t blame your fans if they are passionate in expressing themselves because all humans have escapism in them. And to some, perhaps, this is the only means they have some semblance of control to freely express themselves openly. No one is undermining your hardship when you were outed, or that fact that you were bullied for it, or pressured to act in a certain acceptable way so you may be deemed as socially normal “acceptable” human being, whereas all you truly deserve was love and compassion. But I would like to remind you of one very fine detail. When you were outed, camren shippers were there to support you. Because they (wasn’t here yet when it happened so I can’t include myself) understood well above and beyond that what you encountered was so horrendous. You were cheated and robbed of that one pleasure and right given to every LGBT+ member to pride on - the true nature of coming out. See the thing is, the homophobes corrupted the words coming out so much that even as LGBT+ members sometimes forget the true existence of it. it’s not about public declaration or waving the flag, or marching in rainbows, or stamping a giant sign across your forehead declaring that you’re a proud, frolicking, fun-loving, women-loving lesbian (or in any way the others identify themselves as). No! Coming out and its true nature is simply coming to terms with yourself on your own pace and leisure. So truly I am sorry that you have been cheated out of this privilege. But it wouldn’t be fair for you to lump it together with your emotions and throw it at your brethren (if you even consider us as such). Perhaps, that is not your intention. Just to be clear, I am not invaliding how you’ve felt or how you’re feeling now. No one has the power to do that to someone else - I’m referring to telling others how to feel. Yet the message we perceived is quite clear. That we, as a collective known as Camren Shippers, who “supposedly” belong to the LGBT+ community (ok, maybe not all of us. that’s too presumptive on my part) and pride on understanding your own volitions caused this very volitions to surface or in your words “manifest” in you. We are the hindrances that robbed you of your chance to have a decent flirtation towards the same sex. Ironically speaking, Camren Shippers were the ones also on the forefront of defending your honor when some boy belonging to a particular boy band along with his bandmates ridiculed and degraded your feminine existence simply because they thought they were joking around. I mean aren’t jokes like that - it’s all fun and games until someone gets hurt. Jokes most often than not are made at the expense of others. Doesn’t make it any less right, but then again who are we to blame them for something they thought of as a joke. Let’s all face it people, we are all guilty of this act. And yet, the CS never did falter. Carrying their banners of delusions and brandishing their armors of grandeurs, all in the name sake of defending someone who is belittled for the sake of “fun and games”. Even after deliberately attacking the CS for their enthusiasm and calling it invasive, they were still there for you especially so when they saw how pressure started affecting you. They were always so attuned to you that they were the first to notice signs that you may possibly be queer or you may possibly be undergoing some form of inner conflict. They all wish you good health and as you put it in words “send their love to you” so you may never feel alone enduring all this pain. And now imagine the heartache that every shipper might or might not be going through right now. Because apparently, that same support that they have been sending you is perceived as pain and suffering from your end. How would you feel if the very thought that the love and adoration you have causes someone pain and insecurity? So far, all that you have discussed is the negativity that surrounds an apparent DEAD SHIP. Negativity? Sounds familiar right? You preach on it on numerous occasion. You even wrote a song 50FT. Maybe you should be the one to listen on your own attunement. You brought so much negativity on the topic whereas it was meant to be about your coming out. Again, sorry that you’re coming out seemed more like a burden than liberation for you. And again, I apologize that we are the reason behind it.

Just to clarify. We never undermined your suffering. We know all too well the pain that one undergoes in this journey called self discovery of one’s true sexuality. To be honest, those of us who fear coming out or being outed because of rejection, bullying, disowning, we are the lucky ones. There are some of us who undergo far more threats by simply accepting who they truly are. They fear for the safety of their family, they fear for their own safety, they fear the valid threats of rape and degradation and being treated as if you are worse than animals. There are those individuals where the very soil that they stood upon view homosexuality as ILLEGAL and violation of such law would yield severe punishments. So tell them, tell them that they don’t know the risks, the pains, the sufferings, the deteriorations of ones’ sanities, tell them that they don’t understand it because all they ever care about is Camren. Tell them that they’re only glimmer of hope on priding on someone that may have found what they yearn for is invalid. Tell them that living vicariously on your life brings so much distraught on your otherwise calm existence. Tell them that and they have been the first ones to apologize that you felt that way. Because I’ve read their posts and I’ve felt their pains. And we are sorry to cause you so much pain.

I will remind you. No one forced you to audition for xfactor in the pursuance of your dream. You even have the support of your family for your journey. And we are all grateful that you did. Otherwise, we may not even have bothered you so much. Otherwise, we may not even know that you existed. So let me remind you that the industry you belong to - spotlight is king. So don’t go complaining if your put under the it - that’s the point of the industry my dear, the limelight. I’m a purchaser, I can’t complain if my daily tasks comprise of purchasing goods. Otherwise, I have no business being a purchaser. I’m clearly in the wrong field if I felt that way. So it wouldn’t be fair to tell your fans (if you even consider us as such) to blame us for putting you under the spotlight. May I make a suggestion? Try holding a concert without the lights on next time. You do have sensitive eyes because of the lack of melanin in your eyes. We get that.

Also, you know Becky G never did mention about camren. You brought it up on your own. Just like you’ve given us “it’s camren yo!”. You did say and i quote (uh oh i’m sure going to butcher this. I failed in quoting people all the time) “i don’t really talk about it” and then preceded to have entire litany about camren and whatnot. Ok, I get it, it was part of your coming out process. Cool. Then you’ve touched upon how reading fanfics have ruined you. And made you feel like a predator. Firstly, camren fanfics are intended for shippers only. Like all mediums, they have their own specific intended audieces. For you to wander into uncharted terrains, you must have understood the risks it entails. I don’t know which ones you’ve read, but most fics from decent authors have disclaimer on them. Did you even bother reading the disclaimer? On the onset of something that made you feel awkward or uncomfortable or disturbing, you should’ve stopped on your own and never be bothered with it again. That’s the usual thing to do. If any human find something or someone repulsive, they would ceased to seek it. But it bothered you so much and made you feel like a predator then you’ve read the entirety of it (maybe i’m exaggerating, ok a good chuck of it, sounds better?) Well someone did tell me it could have been born out of curiosity. Yeah curiosity did kill the cat, you know? Unless of course you’re a masochist, then now I finally understand and I have nothing more to add.

So for my parting words, I would again extend my deepest, sincerest apology I could muster in my current sane state for being the cause and hindrance for your inner peace and wellbeing. I am not mocking you. This is just the nature I write. Troublesome, I know. But I’m being honest. If my being a fan of you, and shipping you in our own little niche, caused you so much pain and suffering then I respect your wishes. It would be foolish of me to continue pouring my support to you when all along I’m actually doing the opposite and harming you in the process. I mean what decent human being would like to inflict pain unto others. So in honor of my last words relating to your brand Lauren Jauregui or the very dead ship that apparently troubled you so much, I bid you the very best. May you flourish on your career and find inner peace and true happiness forever and always. I would not like to be a fan of any brand that I’m the apparent cause whether directly or indirectly impedes in attaining their endeavors. All the best in your album release and who knows maybe I’ll stumble upon your music again someday. 

[rhosyn-du]

Never make a mess when a total catastrophe will do - Chapter Eight

Pairings: Jimon, past Clace, background Clizzy, a bunch of other minor background pairings Rating: Explicit Art: @cor321​ Beta: @all-thestories-aretrue​ Tags:  Alternate Universe - College/University, fake dating, oh my god they were roommates, friends with benefits, idiots to lovers, pining, miscommunication, holidays, drinking games, mistletoe, symbolically significant Oreos, domestic fluff, brief mention of past character death, Jace’s self-worth issues deserve their own tag Summary: What do you do when you find out your sister is not only dating your ex and love-of-your-high-school-life but is also bringing her home for Christmas? Bring your annoying, hot, annoyingly-hot roommate as your fake boyfriend to show them you're totally fine with it, obviously! There's no possible way this could backfire. Link: AO3 , Tumblr Master Post

Chapter Eight

“If you’re taking me to a strip club, I’m walking out and crashing Magnus’s bachelor party.”

“Dude, have a little faith.” Jace grabbed Alec’s elbow and helped him out of the car.

“And stop scrunching your nose to try to see through the blindfold,” Izzy said from Alec’s other side. “We can see you doing it. Besides, do you really think there aren’t going to be strippers at Magnus’s party? Have you met Catarina and Ragnor?”

“Yes, and I trust their taste in strippers more than I trust yours.”

“I think I’m supposed to be insulted,” Izzy said, opening a door so Jace could usher Alec through, “but honestly, I kind of just want to ask Cat if she knows any good strip clubs I can take Clary to for our next date night.”

Alec made a pained sound. “Can I request a moratorium on anything that involves strippers and any of my siblings?”

“You can request it,” Jace said, “but it doesn’t mean we’ll listen. Mind the gap; you’re about to step into an elevator.”

“Isn’t my bachelor party supposed to be about things I like?”

Izzy pushed the button for their floor. “No, it’s supposed to be about doing things with your friends and siblings before you get married and forget all about us.”

“Iz, I meet you for drinks literally every week. I’m not going to stop just because Magnus and I are married instead of engaged.” A slow smile spread across Alec’s face. “I’m marrying Magnus tomorrow.”

“Yeah, you are.” Jace patted Alec’s shoulder as the elevator doors slid open. “Almost there, buddy.”

They led Alec out of the elevator and down the hall.

“Okay stop,” Izzy said when they reached their destination. “You can take the blindfold off now.”

Alec made a show of keeping his eyes squeezed shut as he pulled off the blindfold, opening one eye slowly as though bracing for something horrible. Jace saw the moment Alec recognized where he was, his shoulders relaxing all at once.

Alec glanced between his siblings, unimpressed. “This is the door to our loft. I live here.”

“I told you I was going to plan you the perfect bachelor party,” Jace said. “Did you really want to spend your last night as a single man somewhere else?”

“Your party awaits, big brother,” Izzy said, swinging the door open.

“Alexander!” Magnus met them at the door, smiling broadly. “I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to show up.”

“We had to drive around enough that he wouldn’t know where we were going,” Jace explained. “You know what his crazy sense of direction is like.”

Alec gave his fiancé a questioning look. “What happened to separate bachelor parties being an important part of the tradition?”

“Ragnor and Catarina reminded me that some traditions really aren’t that important,” Magnus said airily. “Especially when breaking them would make you happy.”

“He means he sulked and whined about having to spend all night away from you until we suggested a joint party,” Catarina said, handing Alec a martini and Izzy something dark and fruity with far too many cherries. “And then he pretended like it was all our idea.”

“It was pitiful, really,” Ragnor added. “At one point, he actually languished on my couch to moan about it like some discount gothic heroine.”

“And on that note,” Magnus said, taking Alec’s arm, “my fiancé and I will be going to join our friends who don’t intend to spend all evening mocking me.”

“That’s really sweet, you know,” Alec said as he let Magnus lead him away.

“Well,” Ragnor said, “it’s my duty as Magnus’s co-best-man to make sure he is sufficiently mocked this evening, so I suppose I must follow.” He looked at Jace and Izzy. “I believe Clary and Simon are in the kitchen putting the finishing touches on the cupcakes.”

Jace threw Izzy a questioning look. “Cupcakes?”

Izzy shook her head. “Must have been something Ragnor and Catarina planned. Let’s go see.”

The cupcakes, it turned out, were dick-shaped. And because it was Clary decorating them, they were very accurately dick-shaped.

“Oh yeah,” Izzy laughed, “this was definitely Cat’s doing.”

“Cat was in charge of baking, I’m in charge of decorating,” Clary confirmed, eyeing the cupcake she was working on critically. “Devil’s food cake with a chocolate-and-whiskey ganache filling and a variety of different icings. We’re calling them cock-cakes. Simon, pass me the lemon buttercream?”

“You got it, boss,” Simon said, grabbing one of the many pastry bags lined out on the counter and handing it to Clary before stepping over to Jace and greeting him with a warm smile that made Jace’s insides melt. “Hi.”

“Hi, yourself.” Jace couldn’t help his answering smile, couldn’t help drawing Simon into a soft kiss that felt easier than it probably should. “If I knew you were going to be creating culinary dick art without me, I would have made Iz drive Alec around on her own.”

“I’m mostly just assisting.” Simon leaned into him, stealing another quick kiss. “Clary’s the real artistic genius behind this masterpiece.”

“It’s true, my girlfriend is a genius,” Izzy agreed happily, walking over to wrap her arms around Clary’s waist from behind.

“Right now, this artistic genius is being distracted from finishing her cupcakes by too many people in the kitchen. You two,” she gestured at Simon and Jace, “take that finished tray out to the table.”

“Wait, how come we have to be the ones to leave?” Simon wondered. “Izzy’s being way more distracting than we are.”

“Because she’s cuter than you are,” Clary said without looking up from her cupcakes. “Go.”

Jace looked at Simon. “The lady has spoken, I guess. Come on, let’s go watch Alec pretend he doesn’t think these cupcakes are hilarious.”

~~~

Jace couldn’t remember the last time he’d been this happy. He wasn’t sure he ever had been this happy. The joint bachelor party had been a rousing success—cock-cakes, a stripper who was definitely not better than he would have hired, and all—and Jace was so glad he and Izzy had been able to help do this for Alec. And it had been amazing to see Alec so joyful and so obviously in love, to see Izzy and Clary and how happy they made each other. To feel the possibility of a love like that for himself every time Simon took his hand, to see it every time Simon smiled at him, to hear it every time Simon said his name.

It was enough to make him want to be a little reckless. Maybe even reckless enough to tell Simon that he was more to Jace than a fake-boyfriend-with-benefits, that Jace wanted them to be more. It was hardly a new thought, but Jace thought that maybe he was finally ready to say the words out loud.

“Hey, there’s something I want to talk to you about,” Simon said, as if reading his thoughts. “When we get back to the hotel,” he added, throwing a pointed glance at their Uber driver.

Jace smiled at him. “Sure. I actually wanted to talk to you, too.”

“Cool.” Simon sounded nervous. Jace could relate. Now that this was actually happening, he felt like he had an entire kaleidoscope of butterflies in his chest.

Jace’s butterflies hadn’t calmed down any by the time they made it back to their room, and he could practically feel the nervous energy radiating off Simon as he kicked his shoes off and started pulling out his clothes for morning.

“So,” Jace said, leaning against the wall with an affected casualness, “what did you want to talk about?”

Simon squared his shoulders, turned to face him. “I can’t do this anymore.”

Jace’s whole world rocked sideways. “What?”

This was not how this conversation was supposed to go.

“This whole fake dating thing. It was a mistake. I probably shouldn’t even have suggested it in the first place, but I thought—” He shook his head. “It doesn’t matter. I was wrong, and I can’t keep pretending with you, so.” He took a deep breath, obviously steeling himself. “So, this is has to be it. After the wedding tomorrow, no more pretending.”

“Oh.” It was all Jace could find it in himself to say. He reached for the bravado he would normally wrap around himself in a situation like this, but it had deserted him entirely. “I can’t keep pretending with you.” It had all been pretend for Simon. And Jace didn’t even have any right to be hurt by it, because it was what he’d agreed to.

“It’s just,” Simon continued, “seeing Alec and Magnus so happy tonight, and seeing the way Clary and Izzy are together, and even the dumb text Becky sent me earlier about how excited she is to see Maia tomorrow, it all made me realize just how much I want that. I want it with someone I love who loves me back, and you—”

“And I’m not a relationship kind of guy,” Jace finished for him. He didn’t actually need to hear all the reasons that would never be him. He was aware of his own failings.

“Right.” Simon’s voice was barely above a whisper, all his nervous energy having drained away.

“I get it.” Jace forced a smile. Maybe he couldn’t be someone Simon wanted to really be with, but he could at least pretend he wasn’t devastated by that fact. “You deserve that kind of happiness, maybe more than anyone I know. I hope—” He drew in a sharp breath. He would not let his voice tremble. “I hope you find someone who can give it to you.”

He turned away, unable to maintain the facade any longer. “I’m going to hit the shower before bed.” He wasn’t proud of having to hide the bathroom with his feelings, but he couldn’t stay here with Simon, not now.

Jace spent a long time under the shower’s spray. Until he was sure Simon must have fallen asleep. Until he was sure all his tears had washed away.

~~~

Best man duties were almost enough to distract Jace from his own problems for most of the next morning, and he threw himself into making sure everyone in the wedding party was where they were supposed to be when they were supposed to be, keeping Max away from anything flammable, and keeping Maryse and Robert away from each other. In the thankfully rare moments of downtime, he forced himself to put on a lighthearted demeanor. He wasn’t going to let anything get in the way of Alec having a perfect wedding, especially not his own stupid feelings.

He should have known that Alec would see right through him.

“You okay?”

Jace glanced up from the mirror he was using to fix his bowtie. Everything was set, everyone was in their proper places, and Jace had nothing left to do but keep Alec company and wait for the ceremony to start.

“I’m fine. I’m not the one getting married in,” Jace checked his watch, “twenty-three minutes.”

“Don’t deflect. You’re doing that thing you do with your eyebrows when something’s really bothering you, and I’m not doing anything for the next twenty-three minutes if you want to talk about it.”

“What I want,” Jace told him, “is for you to stop worrying about other people and get your ass married.”

“Fair enough,” Alec agreed. “But I’m here when you do want to talk about it. I know I’ve been completely wrapped up in wedding stuff for a while, but you’re still my brother and my best friend, and I don’t want you to think you’re any less important to me now than you always have been.”

Jace walked over and put a hand on Alec’s shoulder. “The only complaint I have about you being wrapped up in wedding stuff is how sappy it’s apparently made you.”

Alec chuckled. “Oh god, that was really sappy, wasn’t it? Shit.” He wiped at his eyes. “I think I might actually cry out there. You’re not allowed to make fun of me if I do.”

“Buddy,” Jace said gravely, “as your brother and best man, it is my solemn duty to make fun of you for it for the rest of our lives. But I’ll wait until you’re back from your honeymoon.”

Alec didn’t cry during the ceremony. Jace noticed a few moments when he had distinctly watery eyes, though, and filed those away for future teasing. Then Alec and Magnus were kissing and the ceremony was over and Jace had absolutely nothing left to distract him from his thoughts.

Especially when the subject of those thoughts was waiting for him in the reception hall, looking as hot as Jace had ever seen him in a perfectly tailored black suit. Jace had managed to avoid looking for Simon during the wedding, and seeing him now hit like a punch to the gut. His emotions were still too raw to deal with what had happened the night before, and there was only one way he was going to make it through this. Luckily, it was the thing he was supposed to be doing. Namely, pretending his ass off.

So he greeted Simon with a warm smile and a kiss to the cheek before settling into his seat. They were at a table with the rest of the wedding party, along with Clary, and it was all so familiar that Jace had no trouble falling back into his role, teasing the hell out of Alec and congratulating the happy couple. Simon made it easy, not acting any different than he had before their conversation, never hesitating to offer small touches and gestures of physical affection, even moving his chair closer so they could lean into each other once they were done eating. It would have made Jace a little sick if he let himself think about it, which he pointedly did not.

Jace let himself get lost in it. It was stupid, and probably a little selfish, but if this was the last time he would ever get to be with Simon like this, he was going to enjoy it.

“Dance with me.” He didn’t mean to say it, but apparently he’d had enough champagne that he wasn’t quite thinking before speaking anymore. He knew as soon as he said it that he’d overstepped. After all, look what had happened the last time they’d danced together.

“Oh.” Simon looked genuinely shocked by the suggestion. “I, uh...”

“I mean,” Jace backpedaled, “if you want to.”

“I believe I might fancy a dance, myself,” Ragnor said. He extended his hand to Madzie, the flower girl and Catarina’s daughter. “Might I have this dance, young lady?”

“Can we do the twirls?” Madzie asked, jumping up from her chair and spinning around to demonstrate.

“Obviously,” Ragnor told her seriously. “After all, what’s the point of dancing without twirls?”

Madzie didn’t bother to give a verbal answer, just grabbed Ragnor’s hand and skipped off toward the dance floor.

“With any luck, that will help her work off some of the sugar buzz from all that cake.” Catarina gave Magnus a long look. “I can’t believe you gave her a second slice.”

“My dearest Catarina, it’s my wedding day, and I will spoil my goddaughter if I want to.”

Catarina scoffed. “You say that like you don’t spoil her every day.”

“It’s true,” Alec agreed. “We might need to give her a third slice if we want to spoil her extra today.” He managed to keep a straight face right up until Cat’s napkin hit him in the face.

“I think I might need to dance off my own sugar buzz,” Izzy announced, grabbing Clary’s hand. “Come on, hot stuff. Let’s go shake our booties.”

Clary laughed. “I can’t exactly say no when you’re offering to shake your booty for me.”

“You know what?” Simon said suddenly. The look he gave Jace was challenging. “I do want to dance.”

It was Jace’s turn to be shocked, but he recovered quickly. “Okay.” He met Simon’s challenge with a smirk. “Let’s dance.”

Jace’s bravado was shaken slightly when the music transitioned to a slow love song right as they made it to the dance floor. But Simon didn’t hesitate, stepping onto the dance floor and drawing him close.

For several seconds, neither of them spoke, rocking gently to the music. They danced close enough that Jace could hear Simon’s breaths, feel them against his cheek. It was too much and not enough all at once, and Jace had to say something or he was going to go crazy.

“Thanks, by the way. For, you know, all of this. I don’t think I ever said that.”

“There’s nothing to thank me for.” Simon’s voice was low and intimate. “This was as much for me as it was for you.”

Jace wanted to say that it couldn’t possibly be, that if any of this meant half what it did to him for Simon, then he wouldn’t be able to give it up so easily. But that would have been deeply unfair, no matter how true, so instead he just said, “Well, thank you, anyway.”

Simon pulled back just enough to look him in the eye, and Jace didn’t understand why he looked so sad. “Thank you.”

And then they were kissing, slow and gentle, and Jace didn’t even remember moving, but he must have or how else could they have gotten here? All the longing and heartbreak he’d been pushing down all day rose up, threatening to break him open and spill out all over the dance floor. The only things holding him together were Simon’s arms around him, Simon’s body pressed against his as they swayed to near-forgotten music, Simon’s mouth on his.

When the song ended and Simon pulled away from him, Jace stumbled and had to force himself upright.

“Come back to the hotel with me,” he said urgently. He couldn’t just let Simon go, he realized, not without at least trying. They could go back to their room, and they could talk, and Jace would somehow find the words to convince Simon to stay. “Please.”

Simon closed his eyes and visibly steeled himself. When he opened them again, Jace knew he’d lost before he even had the chance to put up a fight.

“I already made plans to hang out with Becky and Maia tonight. You know, sibling and sibling’s-maybe-girlfriend bonding. Maia’s going to give me a ride back to Boston in the morning.” He took Jace’s hand and lifted it to his mouth to place a gentle kiss on his knuckles, then pressed something small and metal into his palm before letting go.

Jace couldn’t do anything but watch him walk away, the weight of his father’s ring heavier than it had any right to be in his hand.

~~~

The apartment was quiet when Jace got home, and he was both relieved that he wouldn’t have to face Simon yet and disappointed because, as much as he hated that he would have to box his feelings away, he missed Simon, even though it had only been two days since they’d last seen each other.

He found the note pinned to the refrigerator, held in place by the Spider-Man magnet that he’d gotten Simon as a “congrats on surviving a horrible lab partner and not failing chemistry” gift last year.

Staying at Bat’s for a while. -S

That was all. Nothing about why Simon had left or when he was coming back. If he was coming back. Jace’s fingers almost itched with the need to text Simon to find out exactly what the hell was going on, but the fact that Simon had left a note instead of texting suggested he didn’t mean for this to be a discussion.

Not that Jace actually needed a discussion. Simon had made it very clear that things were over between the two of them, that he didn’t feel the same way about Jace that Jace did about him, and instead of accepting it and moving on like a good friend would have, he’d kissed Simon at the wedding. He’d been on the verge of begging Simon to give him a chance. Of course Simon didn’t want to see him right now. He wouldn’t want to see him, either.

For half a second, Jace considered taking Alec up on his offer to call if he needed to talk, but Alec was on his honeymoon, and Jace might on occasion be a self-centered asshole, but he didn’t want to be that much of a self-centered asshole. Instead, he grabbed his half-empty package of Double Stuf Oreos and took them to the couch, where he turned on Return of the Jedi and bundled himself up in the fleece blanket Simon always used when his feet got too cold in winter.

When the movie was over and the Oreos were long gone, he dragged the blanket into Simon’s room and curled up on his bed, on top of the covers. Sleeping on top of Simon’s bed wasn’t as pathetic as sleeping in Simon’s bed, he reasoned. Especially if no one was there to see it. And if the fleece blanket kept any tears from getting on Simon’s comforter, then he wasn’t really crying.

[do-you-have-a-flag]

Destiel shippers come get ya’ll juice!

SO @deadwright​ and I were inspired by Some Tumblr Posts and the twitter Roadhouse  Wedding stuff and keep writing headcanons about Thee Destiel 2021 Married Ever After S16 SPN Romantic Event Of The Season, so here’s that. 

Arranged in order of marital chronology and cutting out us keysmashing too much:

oh man imagine all the burgers they get catered for the reception dean got it done himself he would’ve been so particular about the catering bridezilla cas would probably be THEE bitchiest bridezilla

it's also definitely that trope where all the other hunters ect KNOW that that many of them and the wedding party are essentially a target for trouble so everyone spends the 24 hours leading up to the vows taking out every beastie who shows up on a revenge kick out of sight because they'll be damned if they let ANYTHING stop this wedding and Dean and cas are both having their marital jitters oh god im not good enough what if something goes wrong about mundane things while monsters are getting their ass kicked outside AWWWWWWWW for sure for sure, they’re hunter royalty this wedding is a big deal like half the attendees are nursing injuries but grinning widely

they don't do the can't see eachother before the wedding thing because you KNOW dean would be fixing cas' tie last minute

dean wears a blue pocket square to match cas' tie cas wears a FLANNEL SQUARE

I’m obsessed w the idea of cas giving dean a little bit of his grace in a small bottle on a chain for him to wear or like a wing feather or some part of him god the grace in a bottle breaks me every time in fic dean probably builds cas something but every time i try to think of something specific i choke up

i was thinking like what if trading grace is as close to a romantic gesture as angels have and he's like..... technically i left some grace behind in your mark when i dragged you from the pit and dean is like ARE YOU SAYING WE'VE BEEN MARRIED THIS WHOLE TIME? 

they are so sweet i’m on the verge of tears the ability to do anything by halves in their relationship was burnt out by like the second return from the dead moment they are too insane to be anything less than All In And Then Some

at one point someone was like hey cas do you want to run your vows by someone as practice? and he started reading what he'd prepared and it devolved into Biblically Grand Statements Of The Power Of Love And The Redemption Of - ect ect ect and it's because unlike the confession scene he's had TOO much preparation and overshot into uncanny angelic vibes he makes some edits because he know the expressions he gets when he reads it aren't what he intended

dean writes page after page after page of unused drafts, none of them are particularly floral

he does the cliche of ripping up his vows and improvising at the altar, something he gets mercilessly teased for because he swore he wouldn't but it classifies as a chick flick moment

THAT’S SO PEAK HIM OH MY GOD and you knoooooow you just KNOW it’s beautiful and emotional and everyone is crying

god the NOVELTY of dean being emotionally honest in front of people......im gonna faint YEA yeah... ONE TIME ONLY DEAL he thinks loudly at Sam's smug expression

anyway, at the wedding dean is the one who spends the whole ceremony with like crying cat meme eyes after the confession scene i’m pretty sure the minute the vows start cas is in the same boat USELESS HUSBANDS dean gets passed a handkerchief for his tears and immediately goes to use it on cas' face and they both laugh sob love the idea that everyone individually thought they were too tough to cry but they all broke at various stages yeah sam definitely starts to choke up just standing up there with his brother sam chokes up before the ceremony even started, like probably when he was pinning on dean’s corsage

anyway, Jack dancing with his two dads at the reception CAS’ BEST MAN / FLOWER BOY FLOWER MAN let him heelie down the aisle with the flowers LITTLE MAN GO NYOOM who makes him a little flower crown he wears with a proud lil smile? claire ofc, with those hair braiding skills? she makes it BEAUTIFUL flower crown: on nails: painted dads: MARRIED!!!!

when they say i do and kiss and everyone is cheering you can't convince me that someone doesn't let off what is either a gun or a dubiously legal firework in celebration jack pops a few lightbulbs in his uncontrollable joy

Dean and Cas can't let go of each other, it's at LEAST one point of physical contact for the rest of the reception PERIODT

CAN YOU IMAGINE THEM DANCING TO AIR SUPPLY

they definitely didn't do the wedding gifts thing but a few mysteriously show up anyway; discuss waffle iron from sam bc he remembers the becky incident meanwhile claire gets them flavoured lube because she’s an insane little mean girl she gets them a sampler package with like novelty flavours, gotta spring extra for a wedding PIE FLAVOURED LUBE

it’s gonna be the party of the century omfg you KNOW it! that dancefloor going OFF the BAR is FLOWING

dean gets dragged up onto the bar to make a speech and there's a moment at the end where he drags cas up there too and they're being playfully yelled at not to scuff it and there's hooting and catcalls as dean and cas kiss and dean gestures rudely before almost falling backwards off the bar before cas grabs him and climbing down is less romantic or dignified but he couldn't care if he wanted to

meanwhile sam and claire are outside defacing the impala with silly string and lewd graffiti and tin cans tied to the bumper for the going-away oh it is one hundo percent a just married atrocity there's enough condoms hidden in the car that they're still finding them months later

anyway wanna hear my disgustingly soppy honeymoon roadtrip concept? YOU KNOW I DO OKAY SO

you know at some point dean must have said some sad thing like for the longest time he never thought he'd live long enough to get married and the only circumstances he could imagine was hooking up drunkenly with a stranger at some vegas wedding scenario like that's the best he would ever get and he thinks it's mostly forgotten but then during their cross country honeymoon roadtrip castiel does in fact navigate them to las vegas and quietly mutters that the legal veracity of the little chapel on the city limits is dubious at best and they're already married so it couldn't do any harm and they get officiated by an elvis impersonator and a woman wearing more sequins than fabric throws cheap confetti over them

and after that they stop into every venue they can find that would be friendly to them to pretend they're eloping and at one point dean even pulls out the fbi id badges and the officiant is under the impression he's facilitating some sort of covert workplace romance 

one place is a kitchy little house that's clearly just the couple who run it opening their strange home to anyone who needs it and have been since the 70s and Castiel thinks for a moment when they're asked to pin something to the collection of stuff on the walls and ceiling before pulling the receipt for the pie they'd shared earlier in a dinner out and scrawling his and dean's name on it to be added to the clutter 

and at one point they stand ankle deep in a pond while some old hippie lady wraps their clasped hands together with soft fabric and chants something that dean knows isn't real magic but hey he's not going to tell her that and after the ceremony they sit on the grass and feed each other sweet bread to complete the binding or whatever and it's nice but it doesn't compare to the ranch where they both tossed their cowboy hats in the air and were given a horse to ride to their camp site

i thought about riverboat gambling for point one seconds and now i know in my bones that one of their many weddings was on a riverboat, they made the captain officiate after cornering him on deck in like five minutes, the crew sent them complimentary champagne and they threw fries at the birds following the boat while sharing it straight out of the bottle

if destiel can go canon multiple times they can get married multiple times CHANGE MY MIND THEY GET MARRIED SO MUCH the MOST married i just want them to get gay cowboy married

eventually i want them to end up at the beach bc dean has canonically never been to the coast their road trip is to get to the other coast

they send just married postcards back to sam from every stop sam stops feeling hurt he was left out of their vegas elopement wedding by the third wedding postcard he recieves sam saves them ofc bc GOD can you imagine them looking at the postcards on their 30th anniversary or s/t 🥺 showing their grandkids and recounting the story of each wedding there's a seashell taped to the last one

cas gets a terrible sunglasses tan and dean gets burnt on the tips of his ears and there's sand on sand on sand in all their clothes and at one point dean is blinking away salt water and cas is gripping his arm and saying something about the coral by them in the water and dean thinks that he likes floating beside cas a lot better than flying

dean has cas pick ice cream for them from a truck and hustles at carnival games enough to win them both big novelty foam hats and they both go back to their room and pass out immediately post shower sprawled across the bed and still smelling like sunscreen and salt water

dean tucks a little cocktail umbrella behind cas’ ear

cas spends most of the next day in dean's zepplin shirt and a pair of shorts they only picked up once they got there because neither of them thought to bring beach clothes, they sit on the balcony and dean sips his beer and idly plays with the ring on cas' finger and they play a game of what fictional monsters could they beat in a fight

cas’ true form is the size of the chrysler building he can fight king kong easy that's what he says and dean's like okay but what about mothra and castiel is like how would YOU defeat mothra and dean just goes "bugspray." GDJSGSHSGSHDSJ DEAN WOULD

in honour of misha putting his whole pussy into the role, cas wears a dress in at least one of their weddings

it's at one of those theme parks that's just historical re-enactments and people get their vows renewed there and there's costumes for the photobooth and the staff are like how long have you been married? castiel says two weeks, three days, eighteen hours, and twenty five minutes................ approximately.  and the photo is cas in a classical wedding gown and dean is wearing the veil with his old timey suit and there's a moose head on the wall behind them wearing the top hat he was given and they send that print with an arrow pointing at the moose with sam written next to it

i keep thinking bitch!!!! you KNOW WHAT!! you KNOW that dean is the type a guy who's heart races every time he feels his wedding ring/is always fiddling with it in the weeks after the wedding, like an anchor to remind him they really got married this is real he would NEED that physical reminder that he can have good things

he’s never ever going to take it off, the tan line will be permanent

how funny it would be if dean gets injured on a hunt and the monster guy is about to kill him and then the lights blow out and the monsters are like what was that and dean is just like "[spits blood] that's my husband." and nek minnit cas has just ripped through them thanks to teleporting in angel style and is just like Cas: [heals dean] "you're late for movie night" Dean: "Well if you'd gotten here earlier i would have been on time." Cas: >:| [kisses him]

cas is like i didn’t burn the popcorn this time you BETTER be alive to see it

[dothwrites]

i love your writing! i would love to see you write a Dean/Cas "getting together" fic with maybe... #15 *Don’t tempt me* :D :D

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google doth, always taking prompts!

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It’s been four days since the moving van appeared on the street like a mirage, and Dean has yet to see the poor sap who bought 401 Kripke Drive. 

The house is a damn eyesore and it’s been that way for years. Dean’s complained about it to the homeowner’s association, along with several others, but he never got any answer other than a vague The owner appreciates your concern and something will be done about the property soon. Meanwhile, the shutters were rotting and the grass in front of the property was tall enough to play a game of Jumangi in. Dean’s seen a few intrepid raccoons slithering around the property and he’d be willing to bet that there are snakes in that tall grass. Snakes. He shudders as he finishes the touches on his own (pristine) lawn. 

Not that he’s become a Stepford Smiler whose only concern is his lawn, but...Look, it’s good to have a nice lawn. It gives the right impression, plus it boosts property values. And what’s the point in having a house if you’re not getting equity out of it? 

Which is why Dean is so excited that finally someone’s bought the dilapidated two story at the end of the street. Finally, he can stop wincing whenever he invites Sam and Jess over. He waits, in eager anticipation, to catch sight of the person who Dean’s come to think of as his personal savior. Failing that, he waits to see the taming of the lawn or the painting and re-siding of the house or...anything. 

He waits. And he waits. 

After a week with no progress, he’s tired of waiting. He quickly whips up a non-offensive lemon cake (no pie; pie is for people who mow their lawns and don’t ruin his property values) and treks down the street to greet the new neighbor. 

“What do you have there?” his neighbor, Jody shouts. She’s being a good neighbor and planting her yearly marigolds in her front (landscaped) lawn. “You going to see the new guy?”

“Yeah. Why, have you seen him?” This is good. Up until just a few minutes ago, Dean didn’t know that it was even a guy who had moved in. 

Jody smiles. Everything about her screams I know something you don’t know. What’s worse is, from experience, Dean knows that she’s not going to share. “Sure have,” is all that she says. She smiles a Cheshire cat grin at him. 

“Yeah, thanks for nothing,” Dean mutters as he heads over to 401. 

The walk towards the front door is a perilous prospect. The sidewalk is pitted with holes and loose gravel decorates the surface. Grass and weeds tenaciously rip at the concrete, making the surface uneven. Dean has to watch his step in order to avoid tripping, which is probably a gift in the long run. It keeps him from noticing how the rotted shutters dangle from the windows, held on by a single, dedicated screw, or how the ugly grey paint is peeling away from the house, like it can’t bear to be there a second longer. The front steps creak alarmingly under his weight and Dean quickly makes his way up them and across the front porch. He tries to keep light on his feet, not wanting to crash through. 

No doorbell. There’s just an ominous, lion’s head door knocker. Dean takes it in hand and lets it fall several times. The sound echoes. 

After a few minutes, Dean’s ready to give up. It’s possible that the mysterious neighbor isn’t here. There’s no car in the driveway. Maybe he came all this way for nothing. 

The door (wood chipped in several places, paint coming off of it in long, jagged stripes) creaks open. 

Wow, that’s some pretty strong hash, is Dean’s first thought followed by Oh shit, because those are some seriously blue eyes looking back at him. 

Then Dean gets a look at the whole package and Oh shit starts to war with Of fucking course. Blue Eyes’ owner is just as unkempt as his house, in a loose linen shirt that hangs off of his frame just enough to tease at the existence of rock hard muscles without ever revealing any. His pants look similarly like they’re a size too big, clinging to his hips by nothing more than sheer willpower. Dark hair hangs loose over the man’s forehead and the whites surrounding those arresting blues have a fine spiderweb of red running through them. Dark stubble scruffs up a jawline that, given the right circumstances, looks sharp enough to cut glass. Everything about the man is rumpled, like he went one too many times through the wash and no one bothered to hang him up to dry afterward before shoving him in a forgotten drawer. 

“Can I help you?” The voice that rasps from the body takes Dean aback--It’s deep, hoarse, like he...Well, maybe like he smokes a fuckton of weed every day. 

“Dean. Hi. I’m Dean. I’m your neighbor. I live down the lane at 416? I wanted to welcome you to the neighborhood.” The cake is cumbersome in Dean’s arms. Having seen the derelict who bought this house, he’s not sure whether he wants to take himself and his cake screaming back to his house or to drop to his knees right here on the man’s front porch. Welcome to the neighborhood indeed. 

The man blinks, like he’s taking the time to parse every word for hidden meaning. It could just be that’s stoned out of his mind, but Dean doesn’t think so. Behind the haze of the weed, there’s a sharpness in his eyes that Dean doesn’t often see. The man taps his chin, his eyes flicking up and down Dean’s body. Dean doesn’t think that he’s imagining it when they linger on his lips. “I see. Hello Dean.” 

Something warm and pleased curls in Dean’s belly at hearing his name spoken by that voice. He does his best to push it aside, concentrating on the reason why he came. (Weeds, jungle lawn, peeling paint, wonder how he tastes, wonder how he sounds) “Yeah, anyway, friendly advice? I just wanted to let you know that our Homeowner’s Association are a bunch of hardasses (lies), and they’re going to get on you for the way that your lawn looks (more lies). If you want, I could pop over one Saturday morning and help you take care of it (where the hell is this generosity coming from?).” 

The man looks at his lawn and then back at Dean. A vague sort of smile creeps across his face. If Dean didn’t know any better, he’d think that he was being laughed at. “Well, I thank you for the offer, but I have no interest in mowing my lawn. Uninhibited growth encourages local bee populations, as do many of what you would call weeds. So thanks, but no thanks.” 

The rejection is delivered so pleasantly that it takes Dean a while to realize that he’s been shot down. When he finally makes that connection, he sputters. “You can’t...” He points one finger at Blue Eyes (asshole didn’t even tell him his name, and now Dean is forced to use one of his best physical attributes to describe him?) and spits, “You need to mow your damn lawn!” 

On that rejoinder, he stalks down the stairs, jumping when one creaks underneath his weight. Asshole (Dean refuses to think of him with any sort of admiration) calls after him, “Don’t I get my cake?” 

Dean whirls around, narrowly avoiding falling flat on his ass. “Cake is for people who aren’t dicks!” he shouts, before he stalks towards home, through grass so thick that it clings to his ankles. 

---

The lawn at 401 Kripke Drive remains uncut. The house remains unpainted. The shutters continue on their slow journey towards the earth. Asshole (Castiel, Dean discovers, through the truly formidable stalking talents of one Becky Rosen) continues to allow his property to languish in a state of neglect, as he...Dean’s not sure what he does exactly. Keeps to himself and doesn’t spend a second thinking about the rest of these poor bastards who have to live with the sight of his ungodly property. 

When the grass becomes a height that Dean would estimate as ‘mid-calf’, he acts. 

Saturday morning, he putters down the street with his mower and pretends like he doesn’t see several curtains flicking back to watch him. Let them stare. Cowards. He, Dean Winchester, is personally going to save the property values and curb appeal of Kripke Drive. 

His mower isn’t quiet, nor does Dean make any attempt to lessen his noise, so it’s really remarkable that it takes Cas a good forty-five minutes to stumble out of his house. By that point, Dean’s already finished up with the front and side yards and is happily working his way through the back yard. 

“What...What the hell?” 

Dean glances over to see the source of the complaints. When he does, his step stutters and falters. It’s almost enough to knock him off of his stride, which is impressive, seeing that he was fairly single-minded in his mission. 

Castiel is clad in nothing more than boxers and a threadbare robe, which flutters open whenever he moves, revealing miles of tanned skin. His hair sticks up at odd angles and his stubble could best be described as aggressive. His eyes look clear, but they also look angry. 

Swallowing hard, Dean settles for giving Castiel a cheeky wave, as he turns around to make another pass of his lawn. 

This does not have the desired effect (Castiel thanks Dean for performing a necessary function of homeownership and goes inside to make a heaping breakfast, which they will consume together while discussing their plans for wedded bliss). Instead Castiel marches across the lawn in his bare feet and stands in front of Dean. Dean, not so focused on yard work that he can’t appreciate when he’s about to take off a man’s toe, releases the kill switch on the mower. 

Castiel takes the opportunity to advance on Dean (it is not hot the way that he does that, or the way that he pushes himself up on the balls of his feet to erase the scant inch or so difference in their height, not hot at all). His finger pokes into Dean’s chest. This close, Dean can smell him. He still smells like weed, but instead of being eye-wateringly overpowering, it’s just a comfortable, earthy scent, mixed with something sweeter and brighter--his shampoo maybe? 

“I said, what the hell are you doing?” 

Dean looks at the lawn and then back at Castiel. He makes a valiant effort not to look at Castiel’s chest, specifically where the robe has opened to reveal the edges of one, dusky nipple. He fails, but he thinks that he should be commended for making the effort to begin with. 

“I’m doing you a favor,” Dean says, wincing when Castiel digs his finger into his chest further. He was right--there are a lot of muscles in that frame. 

Castiel goes still with rage. “A favor?” he finally asks, voice soft and dangerous. “I specifically said that I wasn’t interested in having my lawn mowed. The bee populations--”

“Oh what the hell Cas,” Dean says, rolling his eyes. “Look, if you care that much, we can go to Home Depot later this afternoon and pick out some bee friendly flowers. Hell, I’ll even help you plant them.” 

Castiel doesn’t say anything to this, though his eyebrow does quirk up in what appears to be interest. Dean takes this as his opportunity. “If you want, I can even help you build a place where you could keep a hive. If you want.” (He’s never built an apiary in his goddamn life, but surely there are videos on youtube that tell you how to do that?) 

“You mowed my lawn,” Castiel says, but he doesn’t sound angry about it. More...considering? He tilts his head to the side. “Were you planning on painting the house as well?” 

“Don’t tempt me,” Dean answers. The shudder that shakes through his body is only halfway exaggerated. “It’s a whole fucking disaster Cas.” 

Castiel hums. This time, when his eyes land on Dean’s lips, he lets them linger. 

Dean doesn’t do anything to stop him. 

(After Dean finishes mowing the lawn, Castiel greets him with a mug of coffee. He’s still dressed in his robe. Dean brings the coffee mug inside. It takes him a while to find his way out of the house. They don’t make it to Home Depot that day, but they do manage to make it to a dinner the next morning for breakfast. Dean does eventually help Castiel plant his flowers, though zoning regulations prohibit apiaries.

Painting the house takes a little longer because Castiel persists in looking so damn good in a pair of jeans that Dean gets distracted. A lot. After blood, sweat, and other bodily fluids are shed, the house gets painted, but by then, it’s time to fix the front steps. After that, the whole damn porch needs to be replaced. Dean keeps on finding chores to do around the house, so many in fact, that he eventually just moves in.

Was this your plan all along? he asks, lying on the floor with Cas as he stares up at the (newly finished) ceiling. 

Cas lets a plume of smoke escape from his nose and smiles. Yes, it was always my plan to seduce you with unsolicited yard work. I always knew that a madman would come mow my lawn and I just wanted it to be you.  

Don’t fucking tempt me, Dean says, and then there’s not a lot of talking for quite some time.)

[the--blackdahlia]

So Long Old Buddy

Title: So Long Old Buddy

Summary:  Hawkeye gets a package from Boston.

Warnings: It’s kinda a tearjerker guys

AN:  In the MASH Matters podcast, a writer for the show talks about how he trolled the writers for Trapper John MD by saying he was going to write an episode of Hawkeye going to pieces learnings of the death of his old friend Trapper. Well, here you go!

“Nothing like a quiet day to enjoy the three m’s,” Hawkeye said as he lounged on his cot. BJ looked over from his own, raising an eyebrow.

“Okay, and what exactly are the three m’s?”

“Martinis, mellow atmosphere and...more martinis.”

“All the things in life you need.” BJ laughed.

“Right!” Hawkeye laughed. BJ shook his head as Radar came in, mail bag over his shoulder. “Well, if it isn’t Mr. Radar. Come to partake in our mellow atmosphere?”

“I don’t think he can do the two m’s.” BJ commented.

“What?” Radar asked, confused. “Is it because I’m short?”

“Nothing, nothing,” Hawkeye laughed. “Got anything good for us?”

“Letters for Captain Hunnicutt,” Radar handed him his letters, which he quickly drove into. “A letter from your dad Hawkeye, and a package from Boston.”

“Boston?” Hawkeye asked. “I think I once knew a girl from Boston.”

“Was she related to the man from Nantucket?” BJ asked without looking up from his letter.

“Oh god I hope so,” Hawkeye smirked.

“What?” Radar asked.

“I’ll explain when you’re older.” Hawkeye laughed, to which Radar glared and marched out. Hawkeye laid the letter from his dad to the side and looked at the brown wrapped package. It was addressed to him. He wasn’t sure who it could be from, until he saw the return address in the corner.

The McIntyre’s.

“Ah ha!” Hawkeye laughed. “Oh, that old son of a bitch!”

“What? Who?” BJ asked.

“Trapper! This package is from him!” HAwkeye said excitedly. “God, what could it be? Knowing him, he probably stuffed it full of paper and put a chocolate bar in it or something.” BJ just laughed as Hawkeye tore into the box.

There was brown paper in it, and on top of it was a letter in an envelope. Hawkeye took the envelope and opened it.

Captain Pierce,

You probably don’t really know me outside of stories that John has told you. And who knows what kind of things he said then. My name is Louise McIntyre, and I’m John’s wife. I wasn’t sure how to best tell you this, so I just thought I’d write you a letter, because I’m not sure if I could find it in myself to utter the words.

John was in Chicago for a job interview. A very nice position at a hospital in the heart of the city. Becky, Kathy, and our son JT were there with him. He had gone to the hospital while myself and the kids went to have a day in the city. John never came back. He was hit by an impaired driver when he went to go at a stop light. The driver hit his side of the car, trapping him inside. John only survived about twelve hours afterwards. I’m sorry I have to tell you. I really wish I didn’t have to. I sent you a few things of John’s that I thought you would want. I don’t expect a letter back.

All the best,

Louise McIntyre

Hawkeye let the letter slip from his hands as he stared forward. BJ noticed a change in the tent and looked up from his own letter, a frown on his face when he saw Hawkeye’s face.

“Hawk?” He asked. “You okay?”

“T-Trapper…”

“What?”

“Trapper’s dead.” Hawkeye finally said it. He didn’t think he’d be able to, but he did. “Oh god.”

“Oh man.” BJ moved to sit by him. “What happened?”

“Car accident in Chicago.” Hawkeye whispered. “He got hit.” BJ nodded and moved the box so he could properly sit on Hawkeye’s cot.

“That big of a box for a death letter?” BJ asked. Hawkeye snapped out of his daze and took the box, pulling back the brown paper to look inside. There wasn’t much in there. Trapper’s pair of glasses with the fake nose were in there, which made Hawkeye laugh.

“I got us each a pair of these from a little booth in Seoul,” Hawkeye smiled fondly, even though BJ could see the tears in his eyes. “These came in handy during many pranks.” Hawkeye paused for a moment. “He wore these for a whole day when Tommy Gillis died on my table.”

“Who’s Tommy Gillis?”

“My childhood best friend.” Hawkeye closed his eyes for a second before setting the glasses back in the box and pulling out the next item. A single dog tag. “John F. X. McIntrye.” BJ watched as Hawkeye ran his thumb over the cool metal before laying it back in the box. Just a few things remained, most of them pictures. They were things that Trapper took back with him to remember Hawkeye by. Pictures of the two of them smiling, laughing, annoying Frank, and other things. BJ watched as Hawkeye started to laugh and told him stories behind the pictures. The way he told everything made BJ feel like he had been there, like he knew Trapper as well.

Finally, as Hawkeye was about to put the pictures back in the box, he saw an envelope. He was addressed to him, with Trapper’s name and return address on it, with no stamp. Pulling it out, he opened it, almost dreading what it said.

Hey Hawkeye,

I bet you’re still wondering why I didn’t leave a letter behind or anything. I tried, but I just couldn’t. I didn’t want it to feel like I was saying goodbye, because when you get home, I’m coming to Crabapple Cove and dragging you to a football game. I know how much you like those. But there will be beer, and hey, you could bring some of that good stuff back in the thermos I left behind.

I’ve been sitting here in this office for a little bit, not sure what to write. Louise and I had a little boy nine months after I got back home. He’s named after his old man, so I guess he’s going to be the best looking kid in his school. Also, the girls say hi. They saw a picture of us that I have sitting in my office. I think Becky has a crush on you. Her cheeks get all pink and she runs off. They’re growing up so fast. I can’t wait for you to meet them.

I hope you don’t mind, but I went over to Crabapple Cove and met your dad. We had lunch, and he seemed to enjoy the stories I told him. Don’t worry, I kept the really scandalous ones away from him. Don’t want him thinking I’m a bad influence or something. He’s really a cool cat, but you knew that already, because he is your dad after all. He said he’s proud of you, he misses you, and his lobster bisque just doesn’t taste the same without you.

Anyway, I need to be going. We’re going to pick up a new car here soon. Louise wanted a Ford, I wanted a Chevy, so we compromised and got a Ford. Anyway, I’ll be seeing you when you get back to the world. Don’t be surprised if I kiss you in the airport.

So long old buddy,

Trapper

And that’s when it hit. The tears were heavy down Hawkeye’s face. Fat tears full of pain. He was supposed to be safe over there. There wasn’t a war going on three miles from where he slept. He was supposed to watch his kids grow up. He was supposed to lose those curls due to old age.

He was supposed to take Hawkeye to a football game to drink beer and pretend they had met someplace, anyplace else.

But instead, all Hawkeye could do was cry.

****

A week later, Radar had music playing over the PA as Hawkeye sat in his chair, reading a book. It was a beautiful day outside, and some of the guys were playing a game. BJ opened the door to the Swamp.

“Come on Hawk. I need some more muscle on my team.”

“I thought you had Margaret.” Hawkeye mumbled, not looking up.

“Yeah, well she got mad at me and defected to Igor’s side. Come on.” BJ sighed. “I’ll do your laundry next week if we win.”

“Now you’re talking.” Hawkeye shut his book and got up as Vera Lynn’s “We’ll Meet Again” played over the PA. With his lucky Hawaiian shirt on, Hawkeye grabbed his favorite hat from his cot, smiling for a moment at the framed picture of him and Trapper, before he followed BJ out.

[yusuke-of-valla]

like rats fleeing a sinking ship, pt. 3

intermission i

A/N: “intermission,” basically just means I couldn’t get a Whumptober prompt in there.

TW: mentions of being shot

<-Previous Next->

AO3

After a bit of arguing, Akira gives his bag to Haru with Morgana inside it, and takes Akechi with him to Crossroads. If given the choice, Akira would have preferred leaving Akechi at Takemi’s apartment to rest, but over the last three days since the notice for the Phantom Thieves’ arrest went out, Akechi has proven that he will refuse to sit still even if it’s for his own health, so he’s coming with Akira.

Akira lets Akechi get a seat on the train and stands up, watching the people on the train mutter amongst themselves. The news bulletin is giving updates about the “dangerous thieves at large.”

“...my aunt had a change of heart before she collapsed...”

“I heard they’ve given mental shutdowns to children too...”

“...put her name on the PhanSite. I hope Shido catches those thieves before something happens to her. She may be a bitch but I don’t want her to die.”

“So quick to turn on their supposed heroes,” Akechi mutters.

Akira hums.

Crossroads is empty when they arrive, save for Ohya and Lala, as usual.

When the door opens, Ohya perks up, her eyes going from Akira, then quickly settling on Akechi. “What’s he doing here?”

“He’s on our side,” Akira says. “Shido doesn’t like him either.”

“Sweet. The enemy of my enemy and all that.”

“I suppose you boys aren’t here for a social visit?” Lala asks, pouring them each a glass of water.

“I’d really like this to be, but we can’t.”

Ohya sits up. “Right. It’s not great.”

“Sources don’t have a lot of info?”

“It’s not that. The ones I can get in touch with are happy to talk about how their search for the Phantom Thieves won’t rest until they’re dealt with and explaining some of their procedures like setting up checkpoints in and out of the city. They’re also teaming up with some tech company to monitor phones and texts.”

“Lovely,” Akechi says, “things we could’ve already deduced. Do you have anything that isn’t coming from propagandists?”

“You can tell a lot from what people don’t say as much as what they do. They’re talking a big game, but only have Sakura-san’s arrest to back it up so it’s safe to say they haven’t gotten anyone else. They’re focused on the major areas, the subway, Central Street. Stuff like that. And they’re being flooded with tips, so even though people are happy to turn you in, they also don’t have time to go over everything.”

“So the mob’s working against them,” Akira says.

“Right,” Ohya winks. Then she gives Akechi a pointed look. “And I still have some inside info. Like apparently Shido’s been fighting with this one government agency for awhile now, blocking funding and access for them. They’re called the “Shadow Ops,” and Shido is putting a lot of effort into getting them out of the way.”

“And how is that helpful to us now?" Goro asks.

“Enemy of my enemy,” Akira suggests.

“Well if we can figure out how to get in touch with them that’ll be fine, but it’s still more trouble than it’s worth.”

“What is your problem?" Akira snaps.

“My problem is we’re wasting time! You’re supposed to be the leader yet you can’t conceive of the bigger picture.”

“Akechi you’ve been shot.”

“Stop pretending you’re holding back for my sake,” Akechi says, rolling his eyes. “We could go into the Metaverse right now and get this healed. You just can’t do anything without your ragtag bunch of misfits around to sing your praises.”

“Then why don’t you go.” Akira asks. “Why haven’t you left? Is it because after we played you like a damn fiddle and you were betrayed by your boss you realized you might not be as strong or as clever as you thought?”

Akechi crosses his arms and glares at Akira. “Fine. You’ve got me. I don’t think I can take Shido on my own. I could use your help. Yours. But the others are superfluous, we don’t need them.”

“The others have saved my life on more than one occasion, and they’ve saved yours before too. One week, and we go in and fight like hell, but since you need me and you kinda owe me for that little ‘attempted murder incident’, we’re doing it on my terms when we’ve found as many members of my team as we can.”

“Does the thought cross your mind that gathering them all in one place might just be putting them in more danger?”

“I have to know they’re safe.”

They stare daggers at each other.

Akechi gives in first, getting up with a huff. “If you have any useful information, Ohya-san then please let me know. Until then I’ll be waiting outside.” He strides out the door, and lets it slam shut behind him.

“I’m sorry about that,” Akira says to Ohya and Lala, who he’s just realized heard that entire conversation.

“No problem. You okay, kid?”

“I’m fine. Any other news?”

“Not really. I can tell you that the police have the big public areas covered, but I doubt you’ll be going to any concerts any time soon.”

“Nah. But seriously thank you, this’ll help us plan our movements.”

“Stop by tomorrow, I’ll see if I have anything new for you.”

“Actually, do you mind if one of my friends does it? She’s closer at the moment.”

“Sure, just tell me what to look for.”

Akira gives Haru’s description, thanks Lala again, then heads out.

“Are we done?” Akechi asks.

“One more stop in Shinjuku.” Akira leads Akechi a few blocks down to Chihaya’s booth.

“Akira! It’s good to see you!” Chihaya says.

“Hey Chihaya. We’re here for a reading.”

“Do you know everyone in this city?” Akechi mutters.

Chihaya lays out the cards in front of them. “Do you need a specific reading?”

“Can you give me a reading that’ll tell me where my friends are?”

“I’ll do my best!” Chihaya says. She flips the cards over one by one, and there’s a familiar sensation like something snapping. Even Akechi seems caught off guard by it. Chihaya looks at the spread and frowns. “Hesitation will be your undoing, but don’t be reckless. And I’m not sure about the nine of swords, something to do with Gemini?”

Out of the corner of his eye, Akira sees the way Akechi’s eyes widen at that, then he quickly cools his expression again.

“That’s all I can see,” Chihaya says.

“Thank you.” Akira says, getting up.

Akechi walks back towards the train station quickly, and Akira trails behind. He pauses at the sight of a familiar blue prison door.

“Hey inmate!” Caroline says. “You wanna go in?”

Akira considers it, but shakes his head. He doesn’t want to see Igor right now. “Hey, Caroline, how much do you know about stuff that’s going on. You obviously know more than I do.”

“Well duh! How’re we supposed to help with your rehabilitation if we’re as clueless as you?”

“Then do you know where my friends are?”

Caroline’s grin fades. “W-we couldn’t tell you that even if we did know!”

“Alright, thanks.”

“What are you waiting for?” Akechi calls.

Akira waves at Caroline, and runs to catch up with Akechi.

~_~_~_~

After parting ways with Akira and Akechi, Haru at least takes a little joy in the familiar weight of Morgana in her bag. When they arrive in Aoyama-Itchome, Haru hangs back in an alleyway as Morgana pops his head out of the bag.

“Alright, wait until there aren’t as many students leaving, then slip around the back way there.” Morgana says, helping Haru slip in the same way Akira had been getting up to the roof to meet her while he’s presumed dead.

Her first stop is her vegetable garden. Despite everything, her babies have been growing pretty well.

“It’s too bad we can’t bring the whole thing,” she says picking the tomatoes and pulling up the carrots.

“We can see about starting a garden at Takemi’s,” Morgana offers. “There’s one windowsill that gets a lot of really nice sunlight, even in the winter. I like to take naps there, but I’m willing to give it up for your vegetables.”

“Aw, thank you Mona-chan,” Haru gives him a pat on the head before bagging up the rest of her vegetables. “You’re up next.”

Haru slips out the back and heads back to the alley, watching the school until Morgana comes out, Kawakami trailing behind him.

“Hey, slow down kitty, I’,- Okumura?” Kawakami stares at Haru taking in her new hair and clothes. “So that is Kurusu’s cat?”

Haru smiles and picks Morgana up, helping him back into the bag. “Yeah, he’s a very smart little guy.”

“So does that mean Kurusu’s alright, at least?”

“Yes. But we still need to find the others.”

“Any way I can help?”

“Do you have Shiho Suzui’s address?”

Kawakami’s eyebrows furrow in confusion, then she seems to understand. “Oh yes, I suppose that makes sense. I should be able to get it. Hold on.”

Kawakami walks back into the school, and ten minutes later comes out with a sheet of paper. One has an address on it, the other has a phone number.

“Here you go. And if you need anything, give that number a call and ask for Becky. I’ll know it’s you and be right over.”

“I can’t ask you to get more involved in this,” Haru says.

Kawakami laughs. “I’m already neck deep in the Phantom Thieves business. You’ve helped me and so many others, and more importantly, you’re my students. It’s my job to make sure you’re all safe.”

Haru holds the sheet of paper to her chest. “Thank you. Your support means more than you know.”

“Let me know if you need anything.”

Haru grabs a tourist map from the train station and follows the address Kawakami gave them. The Suzui residence is a nice small house near one of the smaller parks.

“Ready to go Haru?”

“Yep.”

Haru knocks on the door, and a middle aged man opens it. “Hello, who are you?”

“I’m here to return your cat!” Haru says, holding Morgana up to the man’s face.

“We don’t ha-” Morgana leaps out of Haru’s arms and runs into the house.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” Haru says.

The man curses. “Stay here,” he says, running after Morgana.

There are more voices, and then…

“Morgana?”

“Lady Ann! So you are here!”

“Ann!” Haru calls, running in the direction of the voices. She finds an open door leading downstairs, and the man from earlier is there, along with Ann, Morgana, and a girl who must be Suzui, who immediately steps in front of Ann protectively.

“Who are you,” Suzui demands.

“Shiho! It’s fine, this is Haru,” Ann says, “she’s part of the team.”

“Haru Okumura?” the man— Suzui’s father, probably— asks.

“Yes, we’re so sorry for the disturbance,” Haru says.

Mr. Suzui waves her off, and then pinches the bridge of his nose. “It’s fine, I guess. Would you like some tea Okumura-san? You and Ann probably have a lot to catch up on.”

“That’d be great, thanks!” Ann says. Haru nods as well, and Mr. Suzui heads back upstairs. Once he’s gone, Shiho shuts the door and Ann gives Haru a hug. “Good to see you! I thought you booked it for the countryside!”

“A little misdirection on my part. It’s a bit of a story.”

“We have so much to tell you!” Morgana says.

“I’m sure.” Ann says, picking him up.

“So, I’m guessing this is the famous Morgana?” Suzui asks.

Morgana perks up. “Oh? You told her about me?”

“How could I not,” Ann laughs, “I mean you’re kinda important to the whole story.”

“I’m important!”

“Wow, you can really understand him?” Suzui asks, stepping closer.

Haru nods. “Yes. How much has Ann told you?”

“Everything, pretty much,” Ann says. She and Suzui share a look, before Suzui pulls up some bean bag chairs.

“C’mon, sit. I’m sure things must have been crazy for you guys.”

“That’s a bit of an understatement,” Haru laughs. “But do you want to tell your story first?”

Ann nods.

[missbecky]

Ugh, that pink moon, amirite?

Jokes, the moon was beautiful! But the name of the game last night was healing, and ooh wee, did I find the mother load of unresolved trauma. So settle in, this is revelations of childhood trauma. (Serious CW and TW please don’t continue if child abuse or animal abuse triggers you just know that’s the point of this and It sucks)

Because I was focusing on healing last night and the cards were basically like, “your avoiding something.” And I’m like, “oh, of course, the sperm donor that bailed as soon as I was pregnant. Of course, that’s it.”

Nope.

*CW child abuse *

So I’ve already gotten it in my head that I’m healing tonight, tonight is about healing. Side note, I’m trying to pavlov myself to remember my dreams better. So I turn on my pavlov music, and then ask aloud to no one in particular, but it would turn out I was speaking directly to my subconscious. Anyway, I ask, “Can I see what I’m avoiding?” That question went directly to whatever recesses of my mind that are in charge of dreaming.

I don’t remember most of it already. It was like about trans folks, needing to find tea, but the main part was these portals that my dog and my daughter kept going through and I had to go and get them. It was a frustrating endeavor. So that’s when I realize, it wasn’t the baby daddy healing I’m avoiding, it was the OG toxic man in my life, my dad. And kind of my mom too. Basically my whole childhood I never healed from. So none of my relationships were ever going to work out this entire time.

Last cw/tw!! If you can’t read about abuse, please don’t continue!!

But Becky, that legit makes no sense. Yes, I know, I’m getting there. So we have this dog, she’s actually a really good dog, but I cannot get close to this dog. For so many reasons, the one I tell everyone is because our house is too small and we straight up can’t afford a dog (which is the truth, but not the whole truth). There’s also the fact that I can’t get close to any pet because of what my dad did to animals when I was a kid. We never had a pet too long, my dad always got rid of them. For example there was a stray cat that lived around our house. It was basically a pet, and I held it too hard or something and it clawed me, and it’s one of those memories that I don’t know if I actually remember it, or I’ve just been told the story so many times, idk. My dad’s reaction was to kill it. Which I didn’t know, one of my neighbors told me they saw it dead in the street and they were pretty sure it got hit by a car. It was my mom who told me the truth. I wish she had just let me believe it was run over.

But that’s only the tip of the iceberg of my unresolved beef. My dad was highly abusive. Now, in all fairness, I couldn’t tell you just how abusive because I blocked out 95% of my childhood. Nearly everything prior to the age 12. But my dad used to beat me and my brother who is a year younger than me. Mainly my brother though. But I still had to witness it. And no one, not even my mom, helped us. That’s not true, my grandma was the only one who ever stood up to my dad. And then he beat us with a belt right in front of her just to spite her. She never tried again for fear of what he would do, I’m sure.

So my memory issues have long bothered me, since I realized it was a thing. I didn’t realize I was missing memories until I was in my 20s when my cousin told me a story about me that i didn’t even have the foggiest recollection of, it just wasn’t there. Then I began hearing more and more of these stories when I realized I repressed most of my childhood. This has ALWAYS bothered me. I assumed the worst for the cause of my repression.

But tonight, after realizing my dad was my unresolved trauma (the cards weren’t lying when they said I needed to heal something I was avoiding. I straight up don’t even allow myself to think about it), then I began imagining little me having to be witness my brother getting beat. I don’t remember much, mind you, but I know it happened, and I honestly cannot imagine a kid having to go through that. My poor brother got the worst of it, and he’s cursed with crystal clear memory. I don’t know what’s worse, no memory of a childhood, or vivid memories including all the abuse. That’s when I realized it was the abuse that I blocked out because no one ever helped me process it. No one ever taught me how to manage or cope with the trauma. I can only assume my mom never tried as I repressed the memories instead of trying to cope. And I’m realizing, I have a lot to heal from my mom too. And at least I can heal from my dad with him all the way in Ohio, my mom is just down the hall and we’re already having issues. This certainly isn’t going to help anything.

So yeah, the moral of the story is that I woke up bawling today. Awesome.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 30/01/2021 (Wellerman, Fredo, Sabrina Carpenter, Billie Eilish & ROSALÍA)

I’ve never been more thankful for a song being this big – “drivers license” by Olivia Rodrigo spends a third week at #1, blocking “WITHOUT YOU” by The Kid LAROI at #2. Thank God. Anyway, we’ve got 10 new arrivals so let’s cut the chit-chat and start REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

Of course, after this brief rundown we always do. Thankfully, the site actually updated last week, so I can go through this as routinely as possible. For drop-outs, it’s a lot of recent new arrivals falling out either off the debut or a few weeks after – most of them being pretty crap – but we do have some notable drop-outs, like “Forever Young” by Becky Hill, “Plugged In Freestyle” by A92 and Fumez the Engineer, “pov” by Ariana Grande, “Love is a Compass” by Griff, “Tick Tock” by Clean Bandit and Mabel featuring 24kGoldn, “Lasting Lover” by Sigala and James Arthur, and finally, “Perfect” by Ed Sheeran. Now to move onto the chart proper, we do have some movement to discuss. Firstly, we have some fallers, those being “Dynamite” by BTS at #32, “positions” by Ariana Grande at #39, “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring Don Toliver and NAV at #41, “All I Want” by Olivia Rodrigo at #43 off of the return, “SO DONE” by The Kid LAROI at #46, “Best Friend” by Saweetie featuring Doja Cat at #47, “Midnight Sky” by Miley Cyrus at #48, “What You Know Bout Love” by the late Pop Smoke at #51, “Wellerman” by the Longest Johns practically being replaced at #52 (We’ll discuss this more later), “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio at #53, “Notorious” by Bugzy Malone and Chip at #55, “Looking for Me” by Paul Woodford, Diplo and Kareen Lomax at #60, “Bad Boy” by the late Juice WRLD and Young Thug unfortunately purging to #62, “WAP” by Cardi B featuring Megan Thee Stallion at #67, “Pinging (6 Figures)” by Central Cee crashing off of the debut to #72 and “Diamonds” by Sam Smith at #74, joining our two returning entries – which are just older songs getting another brief pick-up at the bottom of the charts. Those are “Baby Shark” by Pinkfong and “Shallow” by Lady Gaga and Bradley Cooper at #75 and #73 respectively, by the way. Oh, and we also have “Martin & Gina” by Polo G at #65, but I honestly can’t see that song going anywhere – and I really like it. This doesn’t mean that we don’t have any gains, however, as finally, we can see some rising hits trying to fill in the cracks, like both of Rudimental’s debuts from last week: “Be the One” with MORGAN, TIKE and Digga D is up to #58, whilst the incredibly worse single “Regardless” with RAYE is cracking into the top 40 at #40. Sigh, well, we do have some more promising gains, like... “Heat Waves” by Glass Animals at #38? “Friday” by Riton, Nightcrawlers and Musafa & Hypeman at #37 off of the debut? Okay, 2021 might end up being pretty rough, huh? Thankfully, we have a plentiful amount of new arrivals to waive any of my fears, so let’s just start with those.

NEW ARRIVALS

#70 – “Overpriced” – M Huncho

Produced by Quincy Tellem

Oh, come on! Okay, so this is M Huncho, UK trao’s answer to the late MF DOOM, except without any of the lyrical complexity, storytelling abilities, genuine wit, charming sampling and production techniques, brilliant discography... he’s pretty much just a guy whose main gimmick is the mask, and it’s on this single cover too, seemingly in a museum. This song in particular is just one of these melodic trap cuts with wavy acoustic guitars blended with synths beyond recognition, topped off with odd bass mastering and a checked-out performance from M Huncho, who spends way too much time on his verses going “doo-doo-doo-doo-doo”, before the beat switches for a verse that fades out after like 20 seconds. What’s the point of any of this, honestly? It’s not awful – the bass does kind of knock – but I really don’t understand why this is here, or why M Huncho is a big name. It’s not even as good as AJ Tracey’s trap bangers and it’s not even as funny as D-Block Europe, which I’m surprised by, considering that he had his own stupid hit with “Pee Pee” around this time last year, and that song was actually good. Also, M Huncho, what do you think your fans get from you dissing them? If you’re going to brag about your “house by the lake” and then rap about how some unnamed individual “still lives at their mum’s in a council estate”, consider that a lot of your audience will still live with their parents in council housing or be surrounded by people who do. Someone who really came from poverty should know that this is classist and disrespectful to your own demographic. Yeah, this is worthless. Why’s this guy still charting? At least Young Adz knows how to write a hook.

#65 – “New Love” – Silk City and Ellie Goulding

Produced by Silk City and Picard Brothers

Okay, so we do have some energy on the chart – or at least half of the credited acts have. Silk City is a duo of producers, those being Diplo, a true weirdo in mainstream EDM who’s honestly kind of fascinating and oftentimes a fluke genius (especially in its work in Major Lazer and Jack U with Skrillex), and Mark Ronson, one of the greatest producers of the 21st century so far, probably most known for “Uptown Funk!”. These guys did have a hit together with Dua Lipa in 2018 in the form of “Electricity”, but it’s been a while and I’m interested to see how they work with the complete non-presence that is Ellie Goulding. It’s with some level of disappointment that I say that she’s not a non-presence here, as this is otherwise a pretty neat house tune with some excellent 90s keys and a deep-house groove I think is pretty fun. The strings in the pre-chorus are great and build-up to a fantastic chorus... or at least the instrumental is fantastic, because Goulding is a waste here, mixed way too high and honestly just faltering her vocals here. She sounds awkward through multi-tracking and even worse without it, as she clearly goes for a rough swagger that cannot work with her light, almost fairy-like voice she’s relied on much of her career. The intricacies of this production are really admirable, but Goulding was clearly an afterthought. With a real diva on vocals, or honestly just a sample of a soul or diva house track, this could be excellent. As it is, I’m bored. Next.

#63 – “Typhoons” – Royal Blood

Produced by Royal Blood

Oh, okay. Well, this is a pleasant surprise. Royal Blood are an English garage rock duo that rock pretty hard, and don’t go for anything else beyond that, which to me is a breath of fresh air, and, yeah, this is good. Is it as good as their debut? Of course not, their biggest hit “Figure it Out” is still incredible, and this one goes for a more synthesized 70s feel, even accentuated by disco keys in the pre-chorus. The riffs are still here though, as that main guitar line is pretty awesome. I see this as a mix of garage rock revival bands from the 2000s like the White Stripes, as well as some stoner-adjacent bands like Queens of the Stone Age, with a more classic hard-rock groove and Mike Kerr’s signature yelp, and it works for what it is, so I’m excited for that upcoming single. Nothing’s particularly impressive here, but I’ll definitely go for this over the rest of what we have charting, so I’m not complaining. This is good, you should check these guys out, even if they tend to be a bit derivative. That tense bridge with the looming background vocals and intensifying riff is genuinely epic, by the way, even if there isn’t much more of a pay-off behind just... the chorus again, which ends up rendering as flat as a result. Regardless, it’s a good break from the norm – which for a chart week like this, I’m especially glad is here.

#61 – “Your Love (9PM)” – ATB, Topic and A75

Produced by ATB, Topic and Rudi Dittmann

German DJ ATB was showing his girlfriend his new recording studio when he got carried away with a single guitar sound and made a song out of it, “9PM (Till I Come)”, named after the time the track was finished. Later on, he took the track and added some whispered vocals from Spanish model Yolanda Riviera. This happened in 1999, by the way, when this song was released to great success in Europe, leading to a hilariously dated album cover but still a UK #1. The song is honestly kind of bad, relying on a pretty typical house groove, ugly MIDI guitars and that seductive vocal loop. Regardless, since 90s nostalgia has come way too fast, Topic has remixed the track with A75, a collaboration we’ve seen before on “Breaking Me” from last year, which sucked. To be fair, the original song is pretty empty, so I’m interested to hear A75 add some vocals... and he just sounds pained over a deep-house rip of the original. The ugly MIDI melody stays, just now it’s drowned out and even more synthesized – this is the guitar sound you liked so much? I hope she left you. Let’s move on.

#59 – “My Head & My Heart” – Ava Max

Produced by Jonas Blue, Earwulf and Cirkut

Speaking of being bored, here’s pop singer Ava Max, with a new lead single from the deluxe edition of her debut studio album, Heaven & Hell. This one’s produced by Jonas Blue, which, alongside a redundant “Jonas Blue remix”, is probably why it’s charting. What’s sad is it’s not really very good, as the vocals are over-processed over fake hand-claps and clipping mixes that make those plastic synths sound even worse. Admittedly, I like the rubbery future bass-esque bass line here, but that’s really as far as my appreciation for this goes, as the writing is non-existent, and Ava Max is barely here. It’s honestly really similar to “New Love”, except this one’s not even as interesting as that track, going for an exhaustingly tired house-pop style that while she is a natural fit for, it does make the 2000s synth-pop she started with sound inspired in comparison. Oh, and the “Jonas Blue remix” is practically a glorified bass-boost that makes this sound even uglier, so, yeah, skip this.

#42 – “Apricots” – Bicep

Produced by Bicep

Bicep is a Northern Irish electronic duo from Belfast, and this is an instrumental from their most recent album, Isles, which clearly must have stood out enough for it to debut at #42. I can understand why too, as that sample from Hugh Tracey’s African music recordings, particularly the vocal sample used, is really infectious and interesting. I don’t think everything surrounding it is enough to really make it less annoying, as it running through nearly the entirety of a four-minute track makes this sample lose its lustre too quickly. It runs its course far before the song has the chance to build up into a house track, with that sample crushing everything that isn’t the percussion in the mix anyway. The keys are really cool, and I can’t fault the strings and ambiance that keeps the song building up for as long as it does. It also takes a sample from a Bulgarian folk choir, which they paralleled to the Celtic folk they grew up hearing, and honestly, this is just a cool blending of global music rather than an actually good song, ending with me respecting this more than actually enjoying it. The synths by the end sound fantastic as does the Bulgarian chanting, but it doesn’t really have a great climax or drop to make the build-up worth it, defaulting to a generic house groove by the end that fades out before it can have any real impact. So, yeah, this isn’t bad, but feels like a waste of some really great ideas. I guess I can say that “Northern Irish remix of an English ethnomusicologist’s recordings of African music that also samples a Bulgarian folk tune” isn’t quite as much of a developed idea as “Kazakh remix of an American rapper of Guyanese descent’s trap song in a Brazilian house style released on a Russian record label”.

#35 – “Lo Vas A Olvidar” – Billie Eilish and ROSALÍA

Produced by FINNEAS

It’s not often that songs in non-English languages chart in the UK. Whilst in the US, Latin music is such a force that it’ll launch hits for many Spanish-speaking artists, this isn’t the case in decidedly smaller Britain, where a still multicultural society tends to produce art that is always in English. To be fair, we don’t have a place like Puerto Rico, and the few songs I’ve talked about this year that have been in a different language... well, basically the one song I can remember off the top of my head, was in a Nigerian Creole language. So, why’s a Spanish song by Spanish artist ROSALÍA charting so high? Well, it’s also a Billie Eilish song, and it’s also from the HBO teen drama Euphoria. Yeah, a teen drama makes a lot of sense for Eilish to soundtrack. This has been teased since 2019, and is actually ROSALÍA’s first song to chart here in the UK, so is it any good? Well, yeah, actually, it is. Both Eilish and ROSALÍA have excellent whispery tones that complement FINNEAS’ muted, ambient production perfectly, and their harmonisation sounds great, with both singing in Spanish here for the most part. That chorus is pretty janky, though, and I don’t really see the point in the Auto-Tuned interludes, even if they both sound great playing off of each other with a lot of tuning in the outro. This is pretty minimal and dare I say awkward, kind of eerie, so I don’t see it sticking around, but as a longing break-up track, they both sell it well. Next.

#28 – “Skin” – Sabrina Carpenter

Produced by Ryan McMahon

Joshua Bassett’s response flopped immensely, meaning that now it’s Sabrina Carpenter’s time to shine, because if it’s anything she gets out of this Disney love triangle, it’s a hit song, and people clearly want to hear more from the women than they do from Josh. Telling. Now I’m not one to follow Disney teen drama because this is all a marketing gimmick. I mean, the songs dropped every Friday so anyone who can’t see through this is either blind or... a child, and considering the audience, that second one is more likely, which is fine. Popular music is, ultimately, in the hands of teenagers and record executives, and all of these break-up response diss track... things, tend to feed into both hands, whilst also giving these talented young actors a bigger break. This is Carpenter’s first charting hit in the UK, after all. The song is decidedly worse than “drivers license” though, and by a lot, as the mixing here isn’t even competent, as Carpenter’s voice clips through these ugly pianos, worsened by how her voice does not sound great here at all, as she struggles through that terrible chorus. She may say that this isn’t a response to Rodrigo, but given the lyrics and how quickly this rushed release was put out, are we really supposed to believe that? The percussion here is gross as well, drowned in bad reverb that makes this just sound grey and dull. The strings building up to a climax are barely there, and when they are, they sound like they’re elevating a really garbage performance from Carpenter, who can barely keep up. This is supposed to be a ballad yet it sounds so stiff and controlled, meaning that Carpenter trying to let loose on the vocals makes this awkward and painful. I’m sorry, but this is really bad, and I hope it doesn’t stick around. Thankfully, I don’t see that happening.

#20 – “Back to Basics” – Fredo

Produced by Dave

Lil Chocolate Frog’s got a new record out this week that I’ve yet to hear, and this is the lead single, produced by his long-time friend and collaborator, Dave – who’s awesome. I’ve typically been less kind to his mate Fredo but honestly, his ever so slightly off-kilter style has grown on me too, and this song is a pretty good introduction to that. It’s one verse over rattling trap hi-hats and a really eerie vocal sample, and Fredo flows casually and smoothly over the beat, in his typical careless, just barely there style, which works well over a pretty subtle beat like this. Fredo’s lyrics are pretty interesting here too, as amidst flexing and gun-play, he has some pretty funny lines, although far from Dave’s wordplay, rather relying on fun one-liners where he says he’s “kind of Christian”, doing revision on drug trafficking, will run for mayor, and because of how much of the gang violence is sadly amongst ethnic minorities, he himself is racially profiling his “opps”. One line near the end of the track actually made me laugh, when he says he counts up twenties while eating porridge. It’s not funny on paper, sure, but the delivery is gold. He shows more character here than he has since “Funky Friday”, also with Dave, so I’m pretty excited to hear this record, which Dave actually executively produced. It’s also got the late Pop Smoke on a track with Young Adz, so at least I’ll let out more of those laughs. This lead single is pretty good though, and I can see it going top 10 next week with the album boost.

#3 – “Wellerman – Sea Shanty” (220 KID x Billen Ted Remix) – Nathan Evans

Produced by Saltwaves, Billen Ted and 220 KID

Last week, the sea shanty “Wellerman” charted as a cover by the Longest Johns. It’s a fine acapella cover, and this version, by Nathan Evans, was originally similarly acapella, except for the tap of a table as percussion to keep time. This version got even more viral on British TikTok, and if I recall correctly, he quit his job to be signed by Polydor, which is pretty scummy on Polydor’s part. I mean, you know this guy won’t have any more hits. Regardless, this version debuted at #3 thanks to a remix by DJs 220 KID and Billen Ted, three English producers. According to their Spotify duo, Billen Ted used to be a death metal band of all things but then transitioned into writing for dance-pop tunes, and have worked with 220 KID, even if this is technically only their second single. This remix is actually pretty cool to be honest, as it takes the original track and adds some needed energy, mostly through this generic 90s house beat and some admittedly really nice pianos. It’s nothing special, and I would usually criticise something this generic, but the song’s not even two minutes and it’s a pretty inoffensive remix that genuinely adds to the original song through that brilliant flip of the original hook melody in the drop, so I can’t complain. This won’t last, but I’m not mad that it’s here.

Conclusion

I’m actually somewhat pleased with this chart week, which I wasn’t expecting initially, as you can probably tell from my above cynicism. Regardless, we’ve got some variety here (though I don’t see much of it sticking) and I’ll give Best of the Week to Royal Blood for “Typhoons”, with a tied Honourable Mention for “Back to Basics” by Fredo, and, God damn it, “Wellerman” by Nathan Evans and remixed by 220 KID and Billen Ted. Shut up, it’s fun! Worst of the Week will probably go to Sabrina Carpenter’s “Skin”, with a Dishonourable Mention for the complete lack of effort that is M Huncho’s “Overpriced”, just being mildly offensive if anything. Here’s our top 10:

For next week, I mean, a girl can hope for some Weezer, but it’s more likely that we’ll be met with a Fredo album bomb and some scattered efforts from that middling Lil Durk deluxe edition. For now though, you can follow me @cactusinthebank for more ramblings and thanks for reading. I’ll see you next week.