#also won’t be surprised if this has been done before
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matchatarot · 3 days ago
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Aren’t we all yearning for the ones that truly understand us, bunny? Here is some insight about your spiritual family. To pick a pile don’t overthink it and choose the one that draws you in the most while thinking about the reading intent’s. Only take what resonates! Love, Matcha ♡
☆ masterlist
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Pile 1 ₊˚.༄
Your soul tribe is abondant and free spirited. They are content and proud of where they are in life. They have already done most of their shadow work and experienced spiritual awakenings or ego deaths. I see that at some point in your path you’ll be experiencing fame and competition, you’ll be meeting most of your soul tribe when you’re in that position of power. They’ll come to you to offer you stability while you’re elevating to new heights. They’ll appear in a moment of your life when you’re feeling a bit negative and low… When you’ll meet them, you’ll feel like you’re finally finding the part of yourself you were searching for. Your soul tribe is spiritually in-tuned and extremely good communicators. They are guided by their passions. Hanging out with them will energize you instead of leaving you tired. They’ll bring even more prestige to your name then there was before you met them. Meeting them will give an energetic boost to your mood, career and overall wellbeing. Your soul tribe has good intuition and patterns recognition skills. They’ll be able to protect you by identifying negative intentions. Your soulmates will encourage you to be the center of the attention and to not be shy to take the crown. You’ll meet your future spouse thanks to this group because they’re part of this soul tribe. This soul tribe is already active in dreams, you’re meeting in the 4d while patiently waiting for the perfect moment to meet in the 3d. You guys will love celebrating each other, always meeting up for birthdays, holidays or even moon cycles! You’ll have your little habits and rituals that’ll feel so sacred to you all. Also, some of you have pets and you’ll love spending time with each other companions, taking care of the animals while your soulmate travels and things like that.
Honestly, I was so surprised and excited pulling these cards because it was such a good spread that it encouraged me to start taking pictures of the cards for you to see! Like 3 major arcana’s and the ten of pentacles? Unbelievable! This is so beautiful.
gives you hell by the all-american rejects, 222, 24, 8, 4 yellow jasper, selenite
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Pile 2 ⊹˚˖ ☆
Your soul tribe has strong fire sign energy. They are smart and assertive. They are stable and respected because of all the wisdom they possess. They think thoroughly before taking action, your soul tribe is following a very commendable code of value while making their decisions. Focusing on love, peace and respect. They’re grounded and abondant, a lot of them could be rich but their wealth is self-made. Even though they’re able to stand still, when they take action they’re fast, dynamic and efficient. This quality is one you’ll particularly admire from your soul tribe. They’re so creative and full of ideas, their mind is always racing! You might have adhd and your soulmates might too. Your intuition is already guiding you towards them and when you’ll meet them you won’t be shy to embrace the relationship and they’ll mirror this energy. You’ll feel a sense of comfort, like they’ve always been a part of you. Being part of this group will give you clarity about your life purpose and you’ll know for sure they’re part of yours. They’ll also change some of your beliefs that created blocages on your path, making you feel extremely powerful. They won’t let you get walked over by anybody, even if they’re considered to be in a position of power. Being connected to your soul tribe will be so healing to your inner child and you’ll feel more confident than ever. When you’re with them you’ll feel like you’re bigger and stronger than any negative thing that could happen to you. They’ll also protect you from dangerous situations and people. Being with them will accentuate your psychic gifts and your aura is gonna be so strong that people vibing at a low vibration won’t be able to interact with you or enter your life. They’re either coming very soon in your life or when you meet them you’ll become close knitted quickly. They might appear around eclipse season. There’s a possibility that you’ve already met them when you were kids, in the 3d or in the dream realm. Also, if you’ve been dreaming about your kids playing with your friend’s kids, this is something that’ll happen by being reunited with your tribe. With this soul tribe, you’ll feel like you don’t need anybody that’s not part of it and they’ll be taking part in almost 100% of your social life.
528hz, rose quartz, clear quartz, amethyst, pyrite, 40, 444, 6, 0
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Pile 3 ‧₊˚ ♡
You’ve been trying to manifest this tribe for so long. Since you were a child, you felt their call. You might be losing hope, wondering if you need to embody an other personality in order to make friends. You might have social anxiety or just be introverted and making connections could be hard for you. Your soul tribe will come in once you are confident and comfortable with yourself, ready to make new friends. Your spirit guides are guiding you toward your soulmates and your soulmate’s guides are guiding them towards you. Once you master the art of gratitude and see yourself as the source, the universe itself, when you finally see yourself as the creator of your reality, your soul tribe will come in. They’ll come in with so many other blessings you’ve been manifesting! When you meet them you’ll be overflowing with gratitude. They are so compassionate and loving towards you. They want to make sure that you know they’re reliable and that they’ll always be there for you. You guys are good at understanding what are each other’s needs, you are connected telepathically. They understand your shadows, they’ve also been through difficult things in the past and you guys will be proud to have made all that work and to finally be able to be together. You’ll notice that your soulmates are powerful manifesters. With them you can create your desired reality. Your soul tribe is versatile, depending on the vibes they can be super chill and peaceful or super passionate and driven. They are good at keeping themselves accountable and they’ll show you how to take the lead in a group. There’s not one main leader of this tribe, but most of the time there’s one person calling the shots, in the sense that each of you will take the leadership position depending on the circumstances. You soul tribe will love to try each others hobbies, you’ll all introduce one another to your favorite media, food, places etc. Don’t doubt that you’ll meet them, as this is fated and predetermined. You guys deserve each other and have soul contracts stipulating that you must meet each other in this lifetime, you just had to go through some past life karma before but you are protected by the divine and this blessing is coming. Don’t become discouraged! Never forget that you’re the one that has the reigns of your life! If you feel like a friend since childhood that always had good intentions towards you is part of your soul tribe, take this has a confirmation that they are.
green onyx, carnelian, green quartz, 4444, 7
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decks used for this reading: ors et ombres by Stéphanie Lafranque, mystical wisdom by Gaye Guthrie, oracle of heaven and hell by Travis McHenry, ethereal visions by Matt Hughes
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cy-cyborg · 3 days ago
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Please remember I am trans/nonbinary, my pronouns are xe/they.
I am starting to get genuinely annoyed with people’s shocked or doubtful reactions to hearing I want to have kids in the near-ish future. And I don’t mean strangers. Strangers say weird things to me all the time lol. I mean my family, my doctors, people who have known me for decades.
My mum in particular has made several comments now ranging from just genuine shock at the mention my partner and I are planning for kids during a conversation about plans for the future (I’ve literally talked about wanting kids to her since I was a kid) to outright saying during a casual conversation that “they (referring to doctors) probably wouldn’t let me carry to term”. Over Christmas my partner also told mum that we had some news we wanted to share in person, and her first reaction was “Cy’s not pregnant are they?” My partner said no and she responded with “oh thank god!”
My sister and dad have also made similar comments. Dad has brought up valid concerns (mainly about some genetic stuff that caused complications for my mum) sprinkled with the same ableism my mum always goes to. My sister I’m willing to give a bit more leniency, since she’s the only family member I talk about my transition with and she admitted recently she thought i was already medically transitioning and she thought that made you infertile so she just assumed kids were off the table. Neither of those things are true but her doubts at least aren’t tied to my disability, just bad info.
But it’s the doctors (and other healthcare professionals) that are the most frustrating. It’s not one or two. It’s nearly every doctor. Every nurse. Every medical technician. If the subject comes up, they all have something to say about it.
I don’t want to go into pregnancy blind, I know I would be at higher risk than the average pregnant person and I want to know what those risks are before I agree to them. I want to know what recourses are available. I want to know how me being in a wheelchair will change the process of things like giving birth. I want make sure the local hospital is equip to deal with that and I won’t be having to educate people while I’m in labour or if I’m better off going somewhere else.
But every doctor I’ve tried to discuss the subject with has shut the topic down and hand waved it with “we’ll cross that bridge if we get to it”. Like it’s something I’d obviously want to avoid that I probably don’t need to worry about. Even trying to get my contraceptive replaced, get a fertility test done or even getting a damn pap smear has been a nightmare. why am I fighting to get a Pap smear??? I’m nearly 30 and still haven’t been able to get one because several doctors seem to be under the impression I’m not sexually active, even when I bring my partner into the appointment. If they say it out loud (half the time they dance around the subject) and I correct them, they are genuinely shocked, then tell me we’ll worry about that later. Nurses and other healthcare providers are no better. There’s been several occasions where I haven’t been asked the mandatory “could I be pregnant” question when going for X-rays or CT scans (and I know they were supposed to ask because if I ask to see the paperwork, it’s always there and they’ve just checked “no” without asking), or if I am asked at intake, they say something to the effect of “I know the answer is probably no, but is there any chance you could be pregnant?”
Though I take back what I said earlier, there’s one comment from strangers on this front that pisses me off, and it’s “be thankful you don’t have to deal with being pestered about having kids”.
No, I won’t be thankful when my reproductive health is ignored, my family are telling me constantly they think I shouldn’t have kids or expressing surprise that I’m even “allowed to” and I can’t even get any answers about what it would look like if I DO get pregnant. My heart goes out to the people who are harassed and pressured into having kids, and to the people whose health is ignored for the sake of them being able to have a baby. Both my mother and sister have dealt with that, my mum almost died because they didn’t want to do anything that would prevent her from having more kids she didn’t want after my younger sister was born. But BOTH things are terrible and shouldn’t be happening!
Im not unreasonable, if someone brought up a decent, genuine concern to me that wasn’t just “can someone in a wheelchair even look after a kid” or “I didn’t think someone like you even has sex” I would reconsider. If it was found I would be likely to experience serious complications for myself or the baby, I would reconsider. If I found out I wasn’t going to have the needed supports to raise a kid, I would reconsider. But everyone assumes that’s what I want. If I were infertile, or any of these things were true, I’d reconsider, but I’d be upset about it! I’ve always wanted to be a parent and if that was something that wasn’t actually possible, I would be sad about it.
But my family members talk to me about it in the same way they did when I was 10 and didn’t know where babies came from, doctors are shocked at the idea I’m even sexually active let alone thinking about children. I’m genuinely worried the people in my life other than my partner would treat any fertility issues like a good thing, or be shocked that I’d be upset if kids weren’t actually on the table anymore.
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greyshuhh · 7 months ago
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something something cosmic horror
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gyudons · 1 year ago
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despicable
updates as of 22 oct
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Travis Dermott knew that he would draw attention with his actions in the Coyotes’ home opener against the Anaheim Ducks at Mullett Arena on Saturday. The Arizona defenseman just hoped that the spotlight might shine on the issue that he was addressing, not on him.
“You don’t really want to go against rules that are put in place by your employer, but there’s some people who took some positive things from it,” Dermott said. “That’s kind of what I’m looking to impact.
“You want to have everyone feel included and that’s something that I have felt passionate about for a long time in my career. It’s not like I just just jumped on this train. It’s something that I’ve felt has been lacking in the hockey community for a while. I feel like we need supporters of a movement like this; to have everyone feel included and really to beat home the idea that hockey is for everyone.”
“I won’t lie,” said Dermott, who is playing on a one-year, two-way contract. “From the outside, it’s easy to see that I’m putting my career on the line for something. I definitely went through some emotional ups and downs that night, not regretting anything by any means, but I’d love to have maybe done a couple of steps a little different by making sure that everyone was aware of what was going on before I did it.
“I don’t want to put my teammates or my coaches or my GMs or the equipment managers in any kind of bad light when it’s their job to kind of look out for something like this happening. It was definitely something that I did just by myself and was prepared to kind of deal with whatever repercussions the league decides to push towards that. I’m not going to back off and say that this battle is won, but we’re going to find better ways to do it.”
As Dermott noted, LGBTQ+ inclusion is an issue that he has supported for a long time. Without getting into specifics, Dermott said the issue is personal for him because it impacts people close to him.
“I’d be lying if I said I haven’t shed tears about this on multiple occasions,” he said. “So yeah, it’s something I’m definitely very passionate about.
“I’ve met a lot of people that from the outside, it looks like they have everything going right in their life and they have a smile on their face every time they talk to you. But sometimes when we get closer to people and get comfortable enough for them to open up to you, you can see that there’s some pretty dark stuff happening to some good people. It doesn’t take too many times encountering something like that for it to really change someone.
“I’ve been blessed to have some of those opportunities put in front of me to really change my view of what being a good person means; what being a good father and a good example and role model means going forward. You really see how people are hurting and it’s because of a system that maybe no one’s intentionally trying to be malicious about, but until you’ve really had that first-person experience seeing people hurting from it right in front of you, it’s tough to kind of take steps.”
It would be a surprise if the league handed down any sort of punishment. The optics alone would add to the public relations damage that the original ban created. Even so, Dermott reiterated his desire to bring the entire franchise into the fold before he takes similar actions in the future, but he also made it clear that he will not be silenced on the topic.
“It’s not like I’m shutting up and going away,” he said. “I know more questions are going to be coming. We’re just going to be as prepared as we can be to just spread love. That’s the thing. It’s gay pride that we’re talking about, but it could be men’s health. It could be any war. It’s just wanting world peace. Everyone’s got to love each other a little bit more.
“Like my parents said growing up, ‘How awesome would it be to be the guy that people look up to?’ That’s what really hit home when I was a kid, especially from my mom. You want to grow up and be that guy. You want to be the guy that’s having the impact on kids like NHL players had on you. If they had been racist or bigoted, that’s going to have an effect on you.
“With how many eyes are on us, especially with the young kids coming up in the new generation, you want to put as much positive love into their brain as you can. You want them to see that it’s not just being taught or coming from maybe their parents at home. They need to see it in the public eye for it to really make an effect.”
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clockwayswrites · 5 months ago
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Bitty birb in the nest is worth...? Part 19
Masterpost This is going to have many typos and spelling issues, but it currently feels like I've got an ice pick in my temple and my skin hurts so there's no rereading happening atm. Sorry!
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Danny looked up as Tim Drake-Wayne strode into the lab and closed the door quietly behind himself.
“Tim?”
“Mm-hum?” Tim hummed as he sat down his thermos before he shed his messenger bag, coat, and school jacket onto an open part of desk.
Danny watched on with bemusement. The kid looked half asleep. “Not that it isn’t great to see you again, but what are you doing here, honey?”
“Bruce is on a call running Luthor in circles and then has to talk to legal about some stuff because Luthor is always an ass. We’re supposed to go run an errand and then to dinner together, so I’m stuck here until he’s ready to leave for the day.”
“I’m sorry,” Danny said honestly.
“It’s okay, at least Bruce won’t forget, not like—” Tim shut his mouth with a snap, seemingly suddenly thinking about what he was saying.
“It’s okay, I get it,” Danny said, because he did. “You need somewhere to hide out then?”
“Yeah, it’s… calm here.”
“Okay. Sit wherever you want that’s clear. If you need to move something, let me know first, okay?”
“Thanks,” Tim said, shoulders finally losing some of their tension.
“Of course, whenever you need.”
Not wanting to push Tim in any way, Danny kept a subtle eye on the boy as Tim absently wandered around Danny’s office. To Tim’s credit, he did try to touch anything or move things around, even as he obviously grew increasingly tired.
It would be a lot, Danny supposed, to be a teen ager trying to live up to the legacy of two important families in the area, learn the business, go to school, and (hopefully) also spend time with friends. Danny knew how hard it had been only having Phantom as an obligation.
While, sure, Danny wished Tim had made chosen a less neck cramping spot, he was happy to see Tim finally settle down and seemingly fall asleep… under one of Danny’s work benches. Danny couldn’t fuss too much, he’d done that plenty in grad school himself. Once Tim seemed properly asleep, Danny got up to fetch his cardigan from the hook by the door and took it to drape over the sleeping kid. Tim let a little huffed breath of air before he snuggled further into the cardigan and settled back into sleep.
It made Danny’s heart melt in a way that he didn’t want to think too hard about.
It really was no surprise when about forty-five minutes later one Bruce Wayne poked his head into Danny’s office. The door was hardly open when Danny had his finger up and over his mouth in the universal sign of ‘shush’.
Bruce titled his head curiously. Danny gave a little nod of his head towards the workbench that Tim was sleeping under. Silently, Bruce moved to the work bench and crouched down next to it. There was a soft, amused sound before Bruce reached out to brush his hand over Tim’s forehead, as if habitually checking for a fever.
When Bruce returned to where Danny was working, he asked softly, “How long has he been asleep?”
“A little over a half hour. It took him about ten minutes to settle in,” Danny answered, voice equally quiet.
“Then do you mind if I let him keep resting for another fifteen minutes or so? He’s likely to wake up on his own then.”
Danny shook his head. “Nope, let the kid rest. He seems like he needs it.”
Bruce glanced at Tim, his expression that soft sort of worried only parents seemed to get. “He does. He works too hard at… everything. He’s always trying to prove himself even when he doesn’t need to anymore.”
Danny made a little questioning noise as he got back to fiddling with the annoyingly tiny screws.
“His parents were… demanding. They had very exacting ideas of what proper high society behavior was,” Bruce explained. “I’m sadly not the best suited at dismantling those ideas either.”
“Ah… well, what do you do that encourages him to be a kid?” Danny asked.
“He skateboards, actually. And he enjoys photography, but even that became a goal what with art competitions at school.”
“Maybe take him and Damian on a mini art vacation? Somewhere pretty. Somewhere where it’s not about judges,” Danny suggested. He finally got the last screw seated so he glanced up at Bruce’s thoughtful face.
“That’s a good idea,” Bruce said. “I’ll start looking at what might work. Thank you.”
“Sure, ideas are kinda what I do,” Danny said and motioned to the office around him with the screwdriver.
Bruce’s answering chuckle was low and warm. “I suppose it is. I hope you’re also not overworking yourself.”
“I’m doing much better,” Danny assured Bruce. “I just needed some rest.”
“Which my children made sure you got. I’m still sorry that they kept you so long on Friday.”
It was Danny’s turn to laugh. “Honestly, I don’t think you really have much control over what they do.”
“No, I really don’t,” Bruce admitted. “But I wouldn’t have them any other way.”
“That’s good; they’re a pretty amazing family,” Danny said with a soft smile. “And if I don’t get to be sorry about falling asleep, you don’t get to be sorry about making me rest.”
“You drive a hard bargain, but deal.”
“I am a master business man,” Danny teased and ducked his head to hide his smile.
“I’ll have to watch for corporate take overs. Keep an eye on the stocks and papers.”
“Maybe. Oh, speaking of… Well, not speaking of but sort of related? You know, I was joking about us making the papers.”
Bruce hummed curiously so Danny set aside his tools to pull up the story that several coworkers had sent him on his table. He spun it to face Bruce. The picture of them in the box was big on the screen. They were pressed almost chest to chest with Bruce’s arms around Danny. It certainly looked incriminating.
“Well shit,” Bruce said with a sigh. He picked up the tablet to scan through the article. There wasn’t anything in it, of course, just wild speculation. “I hope you haven’t been harassed about this by anyone.”
“I don’t think anyone knows who I am to harass me,” Danny said honestly. “Some coworkers have sent me it, but apparently it’s just my luck to have both randomly run into a Wayne and be invited to an event and have one of my ‘spells’ when I’m around them.”
Bruce looked at him with one well manicured brow raised. “You have interesting luck.”
“Yep. It’s been quite a life so far. I was pretty much born into interesting luck and life has really lived up to that luck and died by it,” Danny said with a little chuckle as he took his tablet back.
“I feel concerned by that last part.”
Danny hummed in question, distracted by pulling his notes back up.
“The having died by the luck part.”
“Oh.” Danny smiled, but he knew that expression was less than a happy one. “I think I mentioned that there was an accident when I was a kid?”
Bruce nodded and lean his elbows on the work bench and crosses his arms. “You did. One that is apparently still affecting your pulse to this day.”
“Yes, well,” Danny glanced away from Bruce. Why was it still so hard to talk about. “When I was fourteen, I was electrocuted at at an… industrial level of voltage. Unsurprisingly it killed me. And hey, obviously I came back! But that sort of thing sticks around.”
“I’m sorry.”
Danny looked back at Bruce, honestly startled. In all this time, Danny wasn’t sure if he’d ever heard a ‘I’m sorry’ about his accident, not without strings attached. His lips quirked into a smile again. This one felt more pleasant. “Thanks. Trust me though, I’m grateful that life has, had been calmer.”
Whatever Bruce was going to say to that was cut off by a loud yawn, the sound of someone shifting around, and then the unmistakable bang of a limb against the metal legs of one of the workbenches.
Quiet cussing followed a moment later.
“You okay there, Tim?” Danny asked.
“Fine,” Tim hissed back.
“I’m sure I have an instant icepack in my office. We can grab one before we leave,” Bruce said.
“B?” Tim asked, voice noticeably brighter. A moment later he appeared out from under the desk.
“Hi, sweetheart, sorry that I had to take that call,” Bruce said as he stepped over to Tim. He reached out to brush the teen’s hair a little straighter.
“It’s fine, it’s Lex, I get it.”
“I know you get it, but that doesn’t mean it has to be fine.”
Tim just shrugged. The action made him notice the the cardigan draped over his shoulders. A little blush rose on his cheeks as he took it off and handed it back to Danny. “Sorry.”
“Nothing to be sorry for Tim, you weren’t any problem,” Danny assured him. “You’re welcome in my office whenever.”
“You’re going to regret that,” Tim said.
Danny just shrugged with a smile.
“Come on, chum, let’s go find that icepack. We’ll still get to your store before it closes,” Bruce said and started to guide Tim out by the shoulder.
Bruce glanced behind him and Danny gave a little wave to the retreating Waynes.
His luck indeed.
-
“What happened in Danny’s office that’s bothering you?” Tim asked. He had the icepack pressed against his elbow and was sitting almost sideways so that he could take in all of Bruce’s expression.
Bruce was doing that thing where he was feeling big, complicated emotions and wishing he wasn’t. Tim could read it in the way that Bruce’s shoulders were set, that little bit of tightening under his eyes, and the way he was very purposefully not frowning.
“B,” Tim pressed.
Bruce sighed, the sound all of his air. “I think we should leave Danny alone, both as Waynes and as Bats.”
Tim jolted and scrambled to sit up further. “Wait, what? Bruce, what happened?”
“Nothing bad,” Bruce assured Tim. “Nothing bad happened. Vicky got a picture of Danny and I at the ballet. We spoke some about it and Danny talked about how he had interesting luck. He said he was grateful that life has been calmer; he had to change that to had.”
“…oh.”
“It’s just that—”
“No, you’re right. I’ll try to talk to the others about it because you know they won’t listen to you about it.”
“I’m sorry, Tim.”
“It’s fine, I get it.”
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lauraneedstochill · 7 months ago
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if I see one more post about Aegon “bullying Aemond his entire life”, I will go fucking ballistic, I swear to g—
scratch that, I will actually go ballistic right now. this is the “Aegon doesn’t deserve such a shitty treatment” club and I’m the self-proclaimed CEO. we are about to do some analyzing and reading so BUCKLE UP.
gonna make one thing clear first — Aemond was bullied when he was a child. no one denies that, no excuses can be made for that. I’d only like to note that there wasn’t only one bully. here’s a quick reminder:
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now that we successfully counted to three, let’s look over Aegon’s other horrible crimes relationship with Aemond throughout the years.
📍 the night Aemond lost his eye (S1EP7), Rhaenyra suggests he should be “sharply questioned” (she means tortured) so they can learn who told him that her sons were bastards. Viserys, in his perpetual denial, angrily asks Aemond “who spoke these lies” to which he replies that it was Aegon. it is clear that Aemond does that to deflect suspicion from their mother but his words come as a surprise to Aegon.
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he’s in a tough spot — Viserys demands the answers “as their king”, not their father (to signify his authority and pressure them into telling the truth). and Alicent screamed in Aegon’s face and slapped him just a minute ago, so he may be less eager to defend her. he can easily lie and say that he overheard some maids gossiping or that he can’t remember where the rumor came from. instead, it takes Aegon about 5 seconds to back Aemond up.
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📍 we didn’t get many scenes with young Aegon and Aemond in general, but here’s a short bit people keep overlooking: when Harwin and Criston start fighting, Aemond and Aegon instantly gravitate toward each other. and moreover, Aegon puts a hand over Aemond’s back (which to me is either a protective or a comforting gesture). what a horrible brother, truly.
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📍 next we see them all grown up before dinner in S1EP8. I think it’s safe to assume that if Aegon has been bullying Aemond all these years, Aemond wouldn’t want to spend a second in his company. he’s seated between Helaena and Otto, both of whom are dear to him, so Aemond can stay at the table and chat with them. and YET, not only does Aemond voluntarily talks to Aegon, but their conversation seems friendly (you can barely hear it in the show so here’s the enhanced audio). Aemond makes a joke about Aegon’s drinking habits — Aegon quips back — and then, what a shocker! Aemond starts venting his frustrations to Aegon (“Even when the noose is so tight, they expect us to break bread”). nothing would’ve stopped him from venting to Otto but Aemond stays with Aegon. he wouldn’t have done that if there hadn’t been some level of trust between them. he wouldn’t have done that if he hated Aegon’s guts.
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📍 at dinner, when Aegon pisses Jace off and the brunet springs to his feet, Aemond stands up too, which forces Jace to act as if nothing happened and come up with a toast. Aegon watches him with a shit-eating grin on his face. it’s the face that screams “I know you won’t dare to act up in front of my brother and my brother has my back”.
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when Aemond makes a toast and calls Rhaenyra’s sons “strong”, Aegon raises a cup to that. he can sit this one out — Aemond has his personal vendetta against the boys, and it would be safer for Aegon not to meddle. but what does he do instead? when Luke gets up from the table (clearly intending to go to Aemond), Aegon instantly stands up, comes up to Luke and not just stops him but slams his face into the table right in front of Rhaenyra without thinking twice. and it doesn’t look like Aegon is just messing with him — no, it looks like he wanted to do that for a while. like Aegon finally got his chance to stand up for his brother too. AND he also stops Baela from joining the fight.
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📍 S1EP9 is when we get a glimpse of Aemond’s ambitions: he deems himself better than Aegon, he thinks he deserves to be king. but once he finds Aegon and they get into a fight, it turns out that Aegon knows that Aemond is a better choice. he doesn’t want to fight him, he begs Aemond to let him go. and Aemond can do that — Criston has his back to them, so Aemond could’ve pretended that Aegon managed to break free. and even once they caught Aegon, I have no doubt that Aemond could’ve helped him escape. but it seems that, despite his displeasure, Aemond values his family the most. he can’t betray his mother’s trust, and he knows Aegon is the first in line to the throne. Aemond envies him, yes, he may even hate him because of that. but he values his family the most.
📍 as @florisbaratheons noted, during the coronation scene, when Aegon glances at his family, Aemond looks right at him and gives that tiny nod that says “I may hate this and think I am better for the job as king. But I’ve got your back.” I like that Aemond is the one who keeps eye contact in that scene. He could’ve turned away to signal his dissatisfaction with the situation, there wouldn’t have been any consequences for that. But he didn’t.
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📍 what I find interesting about S1EP10 is the beginning of Aemond’s dialogue with Luke. that’s the boy Aemond wished to get back at for years and yet, he starts by saying “Did you think that you could just fly about the realm trying to steal my brother’s throne at no cost?”. Aemond could’ve skipped that part — imagine him saying smth along the lines of “Wait, Lord Strong! Don’t you think you and I have other matters to discuss?” (to which Luke answers that he doesn’t want to fight and the conversation goes on). instead, Aemond makes a point to remind Luke: my brother is the king, and I came here on his behalf. you can argue that Aemond doesn’t do it for Aegon specifically but for his family in general. but Aegon is a part of the family, and S1 Aemond has his priorities straight.
📍 as much as I hate comparing the show and the book (these are two different things and should be viewed as such), I’d like to remind you that Aegon was the only one who stood by Aemond’s side after Luke’s death. I wonder why we didn’t get that scene… I guess it’s because it would be kinda hard to call Aegon “the main bully” after he literally throws Aemond a feast. but we do get to see Aegon supporting his brother: in S2EP1 he welcomes Aemond at the small council meeting despite his mother’s protests (“Aemond is my closest blood and my best sword”). and he trusts Aemond wholeheartedly, that much is obvious.
📍 let’s get to the most controversial part — the brothel scene in S2EP3: some people believe Aegon is being a bully at that moment. those people seem to forget one little detail:
it’s been only a few days after the death of Aegon’s son whose murder was a direct result of Aemond’s ruthless actions. does Aemond ever address it? does he express his condolences? does he mayhaps help to catch the killers, being the skilled fighter that he is? the answer is NO.
I do think Aegon’s joke was cruel (I wrote a whole post about it) but that’s all it ever was — a JOKE. the humiliation comes not from the things he says but from the fact that Aemond is found in a vulnerable position and surrounded by a group of strangers while his brother laughs at him. TGC explained it best:
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I also love @notbloodraven’s take on that scene:
Aegon lashing out so cruelly at Aemond seems to be an effort in making Aemond feel as badly as he does and blaming him for Jaehaerys without actually saying the words.
would this be the right way to act? no. but there’s no right way to grieve and to cope with the loss — and HIS SON WAS BEHEADED so maybe take 1% of the sympathy you show your favorite character(s) and cut Aegon some slack.
+ other things worth talking about:
📍 @bietrofastimoff23 analyzed S2EP3 beautifully and I can’t help but mention the scene that happens before Aegon goes to the brothel. it’s the moment when Larys suggests that Alicent and Aemond are plotting against Aegon. he isn’t surprised by the idea that his mother can do that — but the second his brother is mentioned, Aegon’s face falls and he shakes his head no. because there is no way Aemond would ever do that to him. and instead of asking for any proof, he asks Larys “who spreads these lies?” and then commands him to “tend to them.” Aegon can ask him to spy on Aemond, to find any dirt on him, find any weaknesses he can use — he does not.
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📍 it turns out to be true — Aemond was plotting behind his brother’s back. which is treason btw (I don’t think Criston intended to keep things from Aegon — he probably believed that Aemond would let Aegon in on their plan). and Aegon does have the power to remind Aemond of his place — he can throw him off the council with a snap of his fingers, he can take offense at Aemond’s attempt to publicly humiliate him (their conversation in High Valyrian — Ewan himself calls it a “public execution”). but that’s not what happens: as TGC phrased it, Aemond’s betrayal “breaks a bit of Aegon’s heart off”. an actual bully would’ve immediately pushed back, but Aegon silently sits down and doesn’t argue, he’s so defeated he can’t utter a word. he has the means to be a bully but he doesn’t contemplate it for a second.
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📍 I don’t want to talk about S2EP6 because it makes me sick but I will reiterate one thing: never ONCE Aegon made fun of Aemond’s disability or tried to cause him any physical harm. just want to point that out.
there is no moral to this story, I guess. if you managed to read till the very end, thank you. if you still hate Aegon, that’s your opinion and you are allowed to have one — but please, for the love of god, just stop making shit up. no, Aemond was NOT bullied as an adult, absolutely nothing suggests that he was. Aegon was naive to blindly trust him and it backfired on him, that’s the actual story. and if you are so eager to hold Aegon accountable for his mistakes, maybe it’s time for Aemond to take responsibility for his actions too.
+ some of my favorite critical posts about Aegon and Aemond: x, x, x, x, x, x, x, x.
P.S. I will not argue with anyone so please don’t waste your time — I consider all my arguments solid and that’s enough for me. if you are thinking of sending me anon hate, pls go take a walk instead, it will do you more good. 🌿
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s0urw00lf · 6 months ago
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Love is in the air
Pairing: Dean Winchester x reader
Summary: you unknowingly give Dean another reason to fall deeper in love with you
Warning: complete and utter fluff and sam is a girls girl.
A/N: idk if anyone has done something like this, but I really loved it and I think it’s my favorite fic I’ve written yet. Also this isn’t proofread so if you see any mistakes please let me know. I wrote this at 5 am so I probably won’t notice any mistakes. Anywho hope you enjoy!!!
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Today’s hunt had been a bust after you and Dean were tasked by Sam to be the cliche “couple in love” so that the envious love witch would target you instead of some other innocent couple.
So now you and Dean were in the impala driving back to the motel that happened to be about a fourty five minute drive away from the restaurant she was targeting.
The night was silent aside from the quiet music Dean had playing in the background and the light tapping of his thumbs against the steering wheel. Dean looked incredibly good in his suit and tie, a look you wish he’d worn more often.
To Dean you looked better than any angel that could grace his presence, when you exited the bathroom with your off the shoulder black form fitting dress and high heels that made your legs look like heaven, his knees almost buckled and they would’ve hadn’t it been for Sam who was there to catch him before he could.
“Hey dean?” You asked softly, drawing his attention from the empty road to you, replying with a ‘hmm’. His green eyes were extra bright in the darkness and made you want to melt in your seat.
“Can I roll down the window?” You asked, it was an odd request on your part, because you usually don’t like the pressure the harsh wind puts on your head. Dean eyebrows rose in surprise before answering “f’course sweetheart, sure it’s not gonna make your head hurt?” he asked sincerely
You shook your head “no it won’t be for long I just… want to try something” you said, pausing in thought you hoped that the feeling would push away the sadness you felt. He nodded glancing back at the road, “okay then go for it” he said with a smile.
You clicked the button to roll down the window and felt immediately relaxed. You put your arm out of the window, closing your eyes and let the wind blow on your face and whistle past your ears.
Dean watched with love in his eyes at how relaxed you looked, he could tell that the your failure to obtain the witches attention had bothered you but decided against saying anything, but as soon as the wind hit your face its like all that sadness slipped away with the wind.
You sat like that for a minute or so before deciding that was enough, you opened your eyes looking for the button again before an idea struck you. You paused in thought ‘would that be too cliche’ you asked yourself, but ultimately you told yourself ‘who cares, do it’ so you did.
You surprised Dean when you stuck your torso out of the window, he immediately grabbed on to your thigh in case you accidentally slipped. You raised your arms as the wind that was way stronger whipped past you, the air was sticky which you’d guessed was from the rain that had fell a few hours prior but you could care less.
For the first time in a life time you felt completely and utterly free, from the worries of the things that lurk in the dark, from death, and disappointment. But the feel of dean hand on your thigh mixed with the wind whipping past you and through your hair made you want to cry of happiness.
Dean watched you from inside of the car, how beautiful you looked, in that moment he was convinced you were sent right from heaven into his arms just so he could live this moment. He saw all of your worries slip away as a carefree smile graces your face. The light from the streetlight lit you up like a pop star on stage and he was your audience.
You caught him even more by surprise when you let out a loud and cheery “woooo” and it seemed like time had slowed. If both of his hands weren’t occupied he would’ve taken a picture, but he couldn’t and he would have to rely on his memory to recall this moment for the rest of his life. He wasn’t even sure how he hadn’t crashed the car.
Your heart thumped loudly at the adrenaline that rushed through your veins and that’s when you decided to get back in the car. You seated yourself back on the seat and rolled up the window before letting out the most cheerful laugh Dean had ever heard from you and just the sound itself had his heart souring. “Holy. I see why they do that in movies” you said, looking at him with the most genuine smile he’d ever seen.
Dean couldn’t help the smile that took over his features at the happiness gleaming from your face. You were glowing and it was the most precious moment of his life. “You are gorgeous sweetheart” he said, he couldn’t help that it slipped past his lips, but the look on your face showed it didn’t have much of an effect on you. You rolled your eyes, still smiling “whatever, eyes on the road Winchester, I don’t want to be roadkill because you’re too distracted” you joked. Dean huffed out a laugh in response.
For the rest of the ride the two of you basked in the happiness that replaced the previous gloom. And when you arrived at the motel, Dean was the first one out the car, rushing to your side to open the door for you. “Such a gentleman, if I’d known you’d be this sweet I would’ve let you take me on a date sooner” you joked, but Dean didn’t take it as one. “Then let me” he said genuinely.
Your smile faltered, ‘is he messing with me?’ You thought “what” you said, it was the only thing you could get out. “Let me take you on a date. A real date not one where we have to look over our shoulders the whole time. Let me take out on a date to drink champagne and eat all those fancy meals that don’t even fill you up” Dean said almost sounding as if he was begging.
Dean grabbed your hands “y/n if you let me I will go the whole nine yards. Flowers, a gift, rent a fancy car and order valet whatever you-“ you cut dean off with a kiss to which he immediately returned. The kiss was soft and sweet, you could feel his eyelashes slightly brush against your cheek, and the way he relaxed into the kiss made you swoon.
His hands dropped yours and he placed his on your hips and you bought yours around his neck pulling him deeper into it. You only pulled away because your lungs had began to burn from the lack of oxygen. Deans eyes remained closed for a little longer, reveling in the feel of your lips against his and your body pressing against him. “Woman you drive me insane” he muttered before opening his eyes.
He was graced with the sight of you smiling up at him with your arms still around his neck. “You can take me on a date Winchester, but it doesn’t have to be anything fancy. We could go to a diner in baby and I’d be just as happy” you said softly, your nose brushing his.
It wasn’t often Dean was rendered speechless, but in that moment he was sure you were made for him and only him. “O-okay” he stuttered. You giggled in amusement “have I rendered you speechless?” You teased, and deans cheeks reddened. “Maybe this will knock some words back into your head” you said before pressing your lips against his for the second time, only this time you didn’t give him enough time to recuperate.
“Hey I wasn’t done” he pouted, and you laughed loudly. Pulling away from him you closed the door to baby and began to drag him back to your shared motel room with Sam who you were sure was watching you wondering why it was taking so long for you to enter the room.
“C’mon Winchester we can talk out the details later” you said grabbing his hand and pulling him towards the stairs that led to your room.
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Added bonus:
Sam had seen the blush on deans cheeks and he pure happiness in the both of your eyes. Dean quickly excused himself to the bathroom and Sam looked at you with raised brows. He’d helped you pick out that dress, telling you “Dean won’t be able to keep his eyes off of you”. You gave him the biggest smile trying to contain your excitement “it worked” you whisper yelled. A huge smile broke out on Sam’s face “I told you it would” he said.
He had been the biggest supporter of you and his brother’s possible relationship. “He asked me out Sammy” you whispered so Dean wouldn’t hear. You threw yourself on the bed like a teenager from one of those romance sitcoms you claimed to not like, but before Sam could ask for more details the bathroom door opened revealing a slightly less blushy Dean.
He eyes you two skeptically “what are you two whispering about” he asked. “Just figuring out how we’ll get the witch now” you quickly lied. If Dean suspected you were lying he didn’t show, because he immediately turned his back to you and Sam trying to get his tie off. You sent Sam a quick and subtle wink that meant ‘I’ll tell you later’ and he nodded trying to hide his smile
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vroomvro0mferrari · 3 months ago
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CL16 | She’s Busy
Summary: You and Charles have been friends for ages, but recently his protectiveness has reached new heights, ruining your every chance at love. It's high time you put an end to it, and you know just how.
Based on this request!
Charles x fem!Reader, friends to lovers
WC: 4.2K
Warnings: Maybe some cursing? Also, Charles shows some red flags…
Masterlist
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“I can’t tonight, Cha,” Y/N told him, a small frown on her face – she knew it’d disappoint him.
“Why not? Do you have plans already?”
“No,” she lied. “I’m just really tired and I think it’s better if I stay in tonight.”
“You can stay in at my place, you’re already here. I can ditch Kika and Pierre, I can cook—”
“Charles,” Y/N protested.
“Okay, I won’t cook, we can order something and watch a movie. It’ll be so much more fun than staying in alone.” 
“I just need some alone time, okay? I’ve had a really busy week, and I just want to nap on my couch and eat ice cream. And I don’t want you to miss out on your dinner with Pierre and Kika. We can have dinner next week?” She offered as a last attempt to convince him, an awkward smile on her face.
Charles sighed. “Fine, but you’re not getting out of it!”
She nodded, slightly amused at his pouty face, before planting a quick kiss on his cheek and heading out the door. 
Y/N had known Charles for ages. They met when they were younger, still in school, and had stuck together through thick and thin. She’d been there for Charles when Jules died, when his father passed, and when he finally realised his lifelong dream of driving for Ferrari, and Charles had done the same for her. No matter how busy his life got, he was always there when Y/N needed him.
So was Pierre. Y/N had met him through Charles, as the two boys were inseparable from a young age, and she was immediately absorbed into their friendship. Pierre was incredibly accepting of her, and she quickly grew to love him just as much as Charles, even though he had moved away when they were older. It made it more difficult to maintain the friendship, especially since she didn’t see Pierre every other weekend like Charles did, but they managed.
In some situations it was good that Pierre lived in a different country; it made it more difficult for him to tell Y/N’s secrets to Charles. Now, she didn’t keep many secrets – actually, until a few months back she didn’t keep any secrets from Charles, but the change in the situation called for it.
Charles and Pierre had always been protective over Y/N, trying to keep her out of danger in any way they could. It was sweet, really, and their intentions had always been good. Besides, sometimes it was helpful; their meddling had saved her from dating a guy who was only with her for a chance at fame and to meet two Formula 1 drivers, and another boy who showed some very red flags she was blissfully oblivious to. But over the past months, Charles, who had always been worse than Pierre in this matter, started going overboard, especially when Y/N had a date.
It started off innocent enough; Charles would ask her to share her location whenever she went out with a guy, a sweet sentiment, really. After a text asking for help and, consequently, an interference from Charles, he seemed to decide it’d be better if he stuck close. And soon, Charles was always present at her dates. In the beginning, he would just hang around the location and watch the interactions from a distance. Then, watching turned into introducing himself because he “wanted to make sure if the guy’s any good”, which turned into full-on conversations and joining her dates. Frankly, it was ridiculous. He’d just grab a chair from a nearby table and join the conversation, ‘subtly’ mentioning how he’d been friends with Y/N for years, and how he’d always be her number one – “right?” 
To no one’s surprise, there wouldn’t be a second date, the poor guy would be scared shitless as Charles talked about the power he wielded in Monaco and online, not to mention, all the contacts he had. Somehow, he always knew someone from the company her dates’ worked at. More often than not, their boss, and he didn’t hesitate to mention it.
Y/N had tried to stop him, she truly had. Whenever he’d interrupted another one of her dates, and Charles would drive her home because there was no need to take a taxi when he was already there, as Charles put it, she’d ask him why he’d intimidated another one of her dates. He’d just tell her that they weren’t good enough for her, and at the glare she’d send him, he’d apologise. Y/N would know she should have pushed further than that, because the situation kept recurring, but the sad look on his face when she’d tell him off, and the puppy eyes he’d give her when he parked outside her apartment building would make her reconsider. Charles was her best friend after all, and she didn’t want to hurt him. The situation was predictable and repetitive, and she kept letting herself get fooled.
At the lack of effect her talks had, she was determined to try a different approach. That’s when Y/N decided not to tell Charles about her dates any longer. What he didn’t know wouldn’t harm him, and she could go on dates without interruptions. That didn’t mean Pierre didn’t know about them, though. With the physical distance between them and Pierre, he could keep a secret and she needed someone to talk to about her dates. And Charles’ idea of sending her location was something she wanted to keep going, just in case.
That was the plan for tonight, too. She was going on a date, and with Charles unaware and hopefully distracted by his dinner with the visiting Pierre and Kika, she’d hopefully have a normal, relaxed first date without any unusual situations. The plan had worked well enough last time, but then again, Pierre wasn’t anywhere near Charles then and God knows he couldn’t keep his mouth shut if his life depended on it.
Y/N drove home quickly from Charles’ place, hopping in the shower before she got ready for her date. She’d met the man at her regular cafe while she was grabbing her morning drink, it was a real meet cute: she’d bumped into him and spilt her tea over his white shirt. He was kind about the mishap, cute, and, most importantly, willing to take her out. 
Y/N looked at her reflection in the mirror as she put on her necklace, making sure that everything was in place before she grabbed her phone. She texted Pierre her live location and asked him one last time what restaurant he was at, just to check that she was going someplace else.
The boys were already at dinner with Kika when she sent her message. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he quickly took it out to read her message. He smiled at the text. As opposed to what Charles had just told him, that Y/N wasn’t feeling well and needed a night alone, she apparently needed to make sure her date was someplace else than where they were. It was a smart move, and he knew that she’d managed before, but to lie so blatantly to Charles, especially when Pierre had to spend the rest of the night maintaining that lie, was bold. Pierre subtly showed the message to Kika, who stifled a laugh.
You didn’t tell Charles you’re on a date? He typed back before placing his phone on the table.
Y/N’s reply was blunt: Cha doesn’t need to know.
The buzz of his phone caught Pierre’s attention, and Charles’ as well. The phone screen lit up, displaying the new message. A frown formed on Charles’ face as he read it, quickly snatching the phone from the table to make sure he read it correctly.
“What don’t I need to know?” He said, keeping the phone out of Pierre’s reach while he scrambled to get it back. What weren’t his friends telling him?
Pierre’s nerves shot up at the question and he looked at Kika for help. She jumped in without hesitation, always willing to help out her friend. “Well, Charles, she didn’t want you to know, we didn’t want you to know, that Y/N’s at home right now, working on—”
The phone pinged again, and Charles’ eyes shot from Kika’s face to phone in a split second, flitting over the new message.
You know how he gets about my dates…
Charles’ jaw tightened. “She’s on a date?” He asked lowly, “Why can’t I know she’s on a date?”
Pierre cleared his throat nervously. “Well, you do have a history of… scaring off her dates,” Pierre trails off, nervously glancing at Kika for help.
Kika nodded in agreement. She completely supported Y/N in this decision. If it’d been her, she would’ve given Charles a good telling-off months ago, but Y/N was too sweet for that. It was good that he knew the truth now; maybe he’d realise a change was needed.
“Do you know where she is? What restaurant? Or are they somewhere else?”
“Charles—”
“I know you know. Tell me.”
Pierre sighed. “Let’s just finish dinner first, and then we’ll go together, okay? Just to check the guy out from a distance,” he emphasised, hoping that was clear enough. Pierre knew Y/N wouldn’t like it, but it’d be better if he stayed with Charles. He could prevent him from doing something stupid.
Charles grumbled in agreement, quickly finishing his meal, and immediately refusing dessert when the waiter asked, before slamming some cash on the table and leaving the restaurant.
– – – – –
The two boys trailed outside the restaurant, peering inside through the window while Kika sat in the car – she refused to engage in such childish behaviours. Charles had spotted Y/N in no time. The perfectly fitted dress she was wearing, with the matching jewellery Charles had bought her a few months ago, and her hair up into a pretty updo would catch anybody’s eye. She was giggling at something the guy had said, reaching for his hand that lay still on the table until she touched it. Charles clenched his jaw so hard he feared he’d break a tooth. What was that man thinking – touching his best friend like that? Making her laugh? 
Charles scoffed before standing upright and marching right into the restaurant. He walked straight past the hostess' stand and past her table before he backed up.
“What—Y/N? What are you doing here?” He spluttered, feigning surprise at her presence. She looked up from her menu at the familiar voice, her jaw slack in surprise. How had he found out? Why hadn’t Pierre stopped him? 
He walked closer to the table. “How are you? Thought you were staying in tonight?”
“Charles,” Y/N greeted with fake enthusiasm. “I wasn’t expecting to see you here.”
“Ah yes, we changed restaurants. Who is this?” He nodded to the man across from her.
“Oh, this is Tom. Tom, this is Charles. He’s a good friend of mine,” Y/N said reluctantly.
“You could say best friend. We’ve known each other for all our lives, I can’t remember a time when Y/N wasn’t there,” Charles said as he shook Tom’s hand, forcing a fake laugh out before he grabbed a chair from an empty table and sat down.
“So, how did you guys meet? I’ve never heard of you before, Tim,” Charles continued, grabbing a piece of bread from the basket on the table.
The man across from him eyed Y/N carefully. She was smiling forcefully, scratching her head as she sighed, but made no effort to get rid of Charles, so Tom smiled awkwardly at the new presence. “We met at a cafe. Also, it’s Tom.”
Charles chewed on his bread as he nodded excessively. “Hm, a cafe? Do you prefer coffee or tea?” He said before flagging a waiter down and asking for a drink.
“Charles—” Y/N tried to interrupt him, to tell him to leave, to not frighten her date, to not make himself so comfortable while he was so rudely imposing on her date. How had he even found out in the first place? 
“You know, coffee’s really not good for your health. Caffeine and such – can be addicting, give you headaches if you suddenly stop drinking it… Do you get headaches, Tim?”
“Uh—” Tom mumbled nervously while Y/N hid her face in her hands.
Charles opened his mouth to continue when Pierre slapped his hands on Charles’ shoulders. “We should go, Charles,” he told him, pushing him forward off the chair.
“I’m sure we can stay for a bit longer, right Y/N? Get to know your boyfriend for a bit?” Charles said genuinely hoping Y/N would want him to stay. Instead, she shook her head.
“Let’s go, Charles,” Pierre said forcefully, pushing his friend out of the restaurant. Charles could just barely hear the faint sounds of Y/N apologising to her date as Pierre walked him out. The apologetic tone in her voice as she told him how incredibly sorry she was her friends had interrupted – that they weren’t usually like that, that they’re just protective – almost made him feel bad, except she shouldn’t be dating random guys.
He knew it bothered her, the way he always interrupted her dates, but he just couldn’t seem to let it go. She’s his best friend, he just wanted her to be safe, to make sure the guys were good enough. And frankly, Y/N had never picked out a good guy; Charles could treat her better than every single one of them. If she’d paid attention, she’d know that too. She’d have noticed that he’d buy anything she wanted for her: clothes, jewellery (although it wasn’t intended to be worn on dates with strangers), food and drinks. He’d spend all his money on her if she’d allow it, but she didn’t. The fact that she liked him because of him and not his money, only made him want to do it more. But even besides materialistic things, he always made time for her, no matter how busy he was. He would cook for her every night if it weren’t a risk to their health, and organise movie nights, or other activities. Regardless, she never seemed to notice his attraction to her.
“What happened to watching from a distance, huh mate?” Pierre teased before getting in the car and driving the man home.
– – – – –
To say Y/N was upset would be an understatement. The incident at the date frustrated her immensely. She had told Charles, many times, that he shouldn’t interrupt her dates, yet for some reason he kept doing it – apparently, she had been too subtle. Tom was a good guy too; he was kind and respectful and seemed caring enough, and, now, because Charles had interrupted their date, he had refused a second date. He had scared off yet another one of her prospective boyfriends. The situation needed to come to an end, and apparently, not telling Charles about her dates and correcting him wasn’t good enough.
It was a few (dateless) weeks later when she had finally thought of a plan to put an end to Charles’ antics. She was staying over at her cousin’s for a few days after some heavy rainfall and water damage in her own apartment – the perfect opportunity. It had taken barely any convincing to get him to participate; as soon as she told him about the recurring issue he agreed she needed to take action.
Y/N knew Charles and Pierre were hanging out together; she’d seen the paparazzi pictures on social media, and knew that if she’d send Pierre something about being at someone else’s place, Charles would find out about it soon enough. After all, that was what happened last time as well, even though it took some time to get Pierre to admit it was his fault Charles found out about her date. So, in agreement with her cousin, she took a picture.
They were sitting on the couch, watching TV, when she posed against him, her head lying on her cousin’s chest as she smiled for the photo. His chin was just barely visible in the picture, as was his arm lying along her shoulders. Without a second thought, she sent it to Pierre, hoping her idea would work out exactly as she’d planned.
She saw Charles' status switch to online just a few seconds later. Y/N held her breath as she watched the small dots bounce at the bottom of her phone screen. Charles was typing, then stopping, then typing again, like he couldn’t decide how to start. It almost made her laugh – he was so wound up, like he thought she’d actually gone home with a stranger tonight. All she had to do now, was wait.
Finally, his message came through. Where are you?
She bit her lip to stifle her giggle. She waited a few minutes, just to let him sit in his worry, before sending back a message. She’s busy.
Charles scoffed at the text, showing it to Pierre. “What’s this? She’s busy?” He mumbled angrily while Pierre chuckled silently. Whereas Charles was too wrapped up in his worry and frustration to recognise the prank, Pierre knew immediately what was happening.
He responded. Who are you? Where’s Y/N?
He chewed on his lip as he anxiously awaited her answer. It took way too long before the message was read, and even longer before the typing bubble appeared.
Doesn’t matter. She’s busy.
Charles scoffed again. Who was this infuriating man and what was he thinking, just answering Y/N’s phone like that?
Busy with who?
She’s in good hands. Don’t worry, man.
Y/N giggled at her message while Charles gnawed at his lip. This was not good. Y/N was at some stranger’s house, nobody knew where, and the guy was in charge of her phone. This was bad, real bad. He needed to find her, to make sure she was safe.
Give her back her phone. I need to talk to her.
She’s busy.
Charles groaned in annoyance before calling her. The phone rang a few times but no one picked up.
Where’s she? I’m coming over.
Y/N giggled at her phone when she saw the text. This was too funny, and a face-to-face confrontation would make it even better. She sent him her cousin’s address, curious to see if he’d actually come over.
Not five minutes passed before a loud, rapid knock sounded at the door. Y/N’s cousin shook his head in disbelief. “You weren’t kidding. This guy is intense,” he said before opening the door.
Charles towered over the shorter man in the door opening. “Where’s Y/N?” He asked, his voice dark and aggressive as he pushed his way past him. His eyes flicked around the room until they landed on her, sprawled out on the couch, snuggled up under a blanket and watching TV, seemingly completely unbothered.
“Hey, Cha. What are you doing here?” She asked, trying to keep up the innocent act.
“What are you doing, Y/N? Why are you at some random guy’s house? You know that’s not safe!”
She rolled her eyes and sighed loudly.
“Don’t roll your eyes at me! This could’ve gone incredibly wrong, that guy could’ve murdered you and no one would have known where you were!”
God, he was so infuriating. Always bothering her on her dates, and now he’s yelling at her over a prank while she’s in her cousin’s house, it’s ridiculous, frankly.
“Don’t shout at me, Charles! Are you crazy?” She huffed. “You’re coming over here in a frenzy for nothing. It’s just a prank, I wanted to see how far you’d go. This is my cousin.” She pointed to the boy still standing by the door opening, who was very amused at the situation. 
Charles froze, the tension in his jaw loosening as confusion replaced his anger. His gaze darted between Y/N and her cousin, piecing together what she’d just said. “Your cousin?” he repeated, as though the words didn’t compute.
“Yes, Charles. My cousin. You know, family? Not some random murderer or creepy guy. You’ve met him before actually, at my birthday last year!” Y/N replied, her tone sharp as she threw off the blanket and stood up.
Charles’s face turned a deep shade of red, and he avoided her gaze, scratching the back of his neck awkwardly. “Well, how was I supposed to know? The photo—you didn’t say anything—”
“Exactly! That was the point!” Y/N interrupted, throwing her hands in the air. “Charles, do you even hear yourself? Do you realise how insane this is? I can’t even go on a normal date without you barging in and acting like you’re my overprotective father!”
He flinched at her words but didn’t respond immediately. Her cousin took this as his cue to leave.
“Y/N, I was just looking out for you,” Charles finally mumbled, his voice quieter now. “You don’t understand—these guys you meet—”
“No, Charles, you don’t understand!” She shot back, cutting him off again. “I don’t need you to protect me like this. I’m not a child, and you’re not my bodyguard. You’ve been ruining my dates for months, and I’ve had enough.”
Charles’s fists clenched at his sides as he struggled to find the words. “I’m just trying to look after you! You deserve better than these guys, Y/N!”
“Why do you even care so much?” She demanded, her voice rising. “What’s it to you if I date someone? Why do you act like you’ve got some kind of say in my love life?”
Charles’s lips parted as if to respond, but nothing came out. His mind raced, but the words he needed wouldn’t form. How could he explain it? How could he tell her the truth – that he cared because he couldn’t bear the thought of her being with someone else? That he’d been selfish, sabotaging her dates because the idea of her falling for someone else drove him mad? 
“Well?” Y/N pressed, stepping closer.
“I—I just…” He looked at her, the frustration and vulnerability clear in his eyes. “Because I’m in love with you, okay?”
Y/N blinked in silence, her anger evaporating as shock took its place. “What?” She whispered.
Charles sighed, running a hand through his hair. “I’m in love with you,” he repeated, softer this time. “I’ve been in love with you for years, Y/N. And seeing you with other guys—it’s torture. I know I’ve gone too far, but I just… I didn’t know how to tell you.”
Y/N stared at him, her heart pounding in her chest. Of all the things she’d expected, this wasn’t one of them. Her breath caught as she processed his words. All the pieces suddenly clicked into place; the protectiveness, the jealousy, the way he always went out of his way to make her happy. It had been in front of her the whole time, and she hadn’t seen it. “Charles, I—”
“I’m sorry,” he cut her off, his voice full of regret. “I know I’ve been an idiot, and if you don’t feel the same, I’ll back off. I just… I’m sorry.”
“Charles,” she said softly, stepping closer to him. He looked up, searching her eyes for any indication of what she would say, of how she felt. “I wish you’d just told me sooner. Maybe then we could’ve avoided all this.”
His brows furrowed.
She smiled at his confused expression. “I mean, I like you too, I love you too. I just didn’t know if you felt the same.”
His breath hitched, and for a moment, he just stared at her, as if he couldn’t believe what he was hearing. “You… you have?”
“Yes, you idiot,” she said, laughing softly. “Why do you think I’ve put up with all your nonsense?
Charles let out a breathless laugh, his shoulders sagging in relief. “I can’t believe it,” he murmured, shaking his head before running a hand over his face in frustration. “I’ve spent all this time… and I could’ve just…” he mumbled as he stared at her, trailing off in thought. kissed her, I could’ve just kissed her, he finished in his mind.
“I could’ve just…” he mumbled again, staring intently as he moved to hold her face, pulling it just a little closer. He looked into her eyes, gauging her reaction as his lips neared hers, as he could feel her short breaths on his face. She didn’t protest, didn’t show any intent to move, if anything, she came closer, brushing her lips softly against Charles’ while her eyelids fluttered closed. 
Charles couldn’t hold back any longer, pressing his lips to hers softly, hesitantly until he felt her hands slip up his chest. He could feel her fingertips pressing into his muscle as she pulled him closer, the hairs on the back of his neck standing up as her fingers faintly passed the skin until they reached his hair.
It felt surreal, this was what he’d been wanting for months. He was absorbed in the moment, not noticing anything but the feeling of her, the scent of her, and the joy she gave him. In that moment it all centred around her – he realised his whole world revolved around her.
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covenofagatha · 1 month ago
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Practice makes perfect
Agatha makes you build up your stamina until she actually lets you fuck her
Word count: 4.3k
Warnings: g!p reader, virgin!reader, sex, age gap, fleshlight, degradation, humiliation kink, Agatha is MEAN and reader very much gets off on it, premature ejaculation, masturbation, reader is a walking HR violation, cumming in pants
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When Agatha Harkness finds out you’re a virgin, she actually laughs. 
You’re a junior in college interning at your dad’s multi-billion dollar company over the summer, a nepo-baby at its finest, and so what if you have the hots for the general counsel? So what if you get hard every single time she even looks in your direction? 
You try to flirt with her, you’re as bold as you can be without her going straight to HR, and yet she barely even gives you the time of day. Deep down, you can tell she likes you though. She humors you and doesn’t tell you to shut up whenever you start to talk, so that must mean something. The two of you have formed quite the relationship since the summer started, with you saying the filthiest things to her and her brushing them off as if they were casual anecdotes. 
“I’d make you feel so good, Agatha,” you tell her one day. “I’ll fill you up so nicely.”
It might be pushing the limits — it’s your third pathetic attempt this day at getting her to reciprocate, but she’s used to it by now; it hardly even fazes her. Everyone in the office knows that their boss’s daughter has a cock, and they also know that their boss’s daughter has a filthy mouth, always saying something vulgar and sarcastic. No one takes anything that comes from your lips as serious. You’ve been called a spoiled, entitled, rich bitch, told that you’re heartless for not giving a damn about anything, expelled from three high schools for the explicit jokes that you make.
But your “jokes” to Agatha are the only thing you’re serious about. 
She scoffs and rolls her eyes; at twenty-five years your senior, she has had plenty of experience with girls that promise her the world and barely deliver on any said promises made. “I’m not some quick college lay that lets you rub my upper thigh and pretends that you’ve found my clit, you know.” 
It’s your turn to scowl. “Who do you think I am?” you ask and she fixes you with a pointed glare from behind her desk. “I know where the clit is.” 
“How many women have you actually satisfied?” she asks and your cheeks heat up. You figured it would come up eventually, but now you don’t actually want to answer. You duck your head and Agatha makes a noise, not exactly surprised, but almost disappointed. “You think I’m going to let a virgin fuck me? You probably wouldn’t even last two seconds inside me.”
“Hey, I’d last longer than that,” you snap, your head shooting back up to look at her incredulously. You can feel a slight stirring in your lower stomach at the thought of blowing your load the instant she gets inside you and how she would most definitely mock you for it. 
Agatha raises an eyebrow and chuckles cruelly. “Honey, please. Go back to your desk and get your work done. I’m definitely not having sex with someone who can’t finish reading over a simple contract.” 
“Ha ha,” you deadpan, and she makes a face at you before you get up out of the chair in front of her desk you were lounging in. “Might have to go to the bathroom real quick and jerk one off though.” 
She crinkles her nose and waves her hand at you dismissively and you think that you’ve just blown all your chances with her. She’s definitely not going to want to fuck you now. There is some speculation floating around about your lack of experience and that’s why you overcompensate with the explicit things you say — libel you tell them, but deep down it’s accurate — and if Agatha, who has certainly had her fair share of partners, knows it’s real, then she for sure won’t waste her time with you. 
So you go back to your desk and begrudgingly get all your work done, emailing Agatha your thoughts about the contracts when you’re all done. She sends back a Very good job, y/n and you hate to admit that it gets you hard. You’d like nothing more than to go fuck yourself in the restroom but you stay at your cubicle until Agatha walks by so you can see her before she leaves for the day. 
“I’ll see you tomorrow?” you call after her as she breezes by your desk without saying a word. It’s the last day of the third fiscal quarter today, and as a reward, tomorrow your dad is bringing his executive staff to your beach house in The Hamptons for a week. Because you’re part of the family, you get to attend, but none of the other interns do. 
It’s been this way since you were little, but only recently did you start to notice how attractive Agatha was. The way she takes absolutely no shit from anyone, even from your dad. The way she coolly holds her ground in the face of IRS audits, FBI raids, and anything else that got thrown at her. The way she raises an eyebrow at you when you say something stupid and it makes your cock hard in seconds. Everything about her drives you fucking wild. 
Agatha lifts a hand up in response, not even bothering to look over her shoulder at you, and your pants tighten almost uncomfortably. 
The second you get back to your apartment, you undo your belt and unzip your pants, reaching inside to take out your hard and leaking cock. Your hips thrust forward at the warmth from your hand and you gasp, the pleasure already dizzying. You think about Agatha on her knees in front of you, looking up at you through her glasses, telling you that you’re just a pathetic slut who will never be able to make her feel good. 
It takes three strokes of your hand before you grunt and your cock pumps out three long spurts of cum all over the kitchen counter. You grab a paper towel, dampen it, and then wipe up your mess before going to take a shower. 
You might have a serious problem. 
And it’s only going to get worse this week. An entire seven days where you’re going to be around her. There isn’t a doubt in your mind that you’re going to be hard for most of it. Is there a record for the most times a person has cum in a day? Because you think you might break it. 
That night, you have a dream about Agatha, as many of your dreams are. She’s sitting in a chair right by the bed, legs outstretched and open and her feet are resting on the duvet. You’re laying stomach-down, cock hard between your body and the covers, mouth watering. Agatha is completely naked, her cunt glistening, and the dream is so realistic that you can smell her. She laughs when you groan pitifully. 
Then she buries two fingers inside her and your hips lurch against the bed, gasping at the stimulation on your cock. 
“Look at you, humping the bed like a bitch in heat,” she snarls and your rhythm stutters. You garble out something incoherently and she laughs before rubbing her clit with her other hand. “Can’t even fuck me right, so I have to do it myself.” 
You moan loudly, grinding against the bed furiously, and she picks up her thrusts to match your face. “I can, please, I want to,” you beg before she cums all over her fingers. She pulls them out of her and then slides them into your mouth and you cum all over the bed and your stomach. 
When you jerk awake right after that, the first thing you notice is how sticky you are. You must have cum in your underwear from just your dream and it’s just further evidence of how completely fucked you are for the next week. 
There will certainly be no swimming for you because you don’t need the entire executive board and your father knowing that you’re getting hard for the forty-six year old general counsel. 
But fuck, Agatha in a swim suit — 
You cut yourself off from the thought because you don’t have enough time to get worked up again. 
Good thing too, because by the time you do get yourself all cleaned up from your little nighttime accident, you have to leave to get to the helicopters. 
There’s no sign of Agatha yet so you make awkward small talk with Rio Vidal, the head of Human Resources, because you have nothing better to do. She’s new and attractive, but no one gets your cock stirring like Agatha. You wonder if it’s the fact that she’s older and it taps into your mommy issues, or the fact that she can cut you down with a simple sentence and you’ve found that you have a huge thing for degradation, or the fact that she’s never going to let you touch her no matter how hard you beg. 
She drives you crazy and you fucking need her. 
Finally, Agatha pulls up in a company car and gets out, wearing a gray pantsuit, and you already feel your face heating up. She gets into one of the two helicopters without even looking at you and you make a beeline for it before your dad stops you and pulls you into the other one. You can’t exactly tell him that you want to be next to his general counsel, so you grumble to yourself before agreeing. 
It takes only about forty-five minutes to get to the house and the next hour is full of unpacking and the wait staff running around, trying to get everyone everything they need. 
Lunch is served and everyone gathers in the dining room except for Agatha, so you excuse yourself and try to go find her. 
You’re just “happening” to be walking by her room when she opens the door to step out, almost bumping into you. 
“Your quick solo session take a bit too long?” you ask crassly, delighting in the way her eyes roll exasperatedly. “Next time, give me a call and I’ll get you there quickly.”
She starts walking to the dining room, leaving you behind so you have to speed to catch up. “If I ever want someone to cum after three pumps inside me and leave me even more unsatisfied than I was before, I’ll make sure to let you know.”
“Hey, I’d lay you badly, but I’d lay you gladly,” you say as seductively as possible and she snorts. “Come on, you gotta admit you’ve at least thought about it.” 
Agatha spares you a glance. “When I’m trying not to cum. It’s a real turn-off for me personally.”
You also love how she gives as good as she gets. “Please?” you ask, whine, beg. “I’ll be so good for you — I’ll make you feel so good.”
She sniffs and rakes her eyes over your body, pausing at the outline of your cock through your pants. Before you even realize what’s happening, she’s pushed you against the wall and her hand cups your cock and you gasp while bucking into her touch. 
“Really?” Agatha chuckles. You make a muffled sound and try to grind up and she rubs her palm against you, making you throb. “You think you could make me feel good with your cock that’s already about to cum for me?” 
“Yes,” you choke out and she squeezes harder. You’re panting open-mouthed now, trying so hard to hold back from your release. 
She is completely unaffected as she leans in to whisper, “You’re so fucking pathetic,” into your ear and you whimper, your stomach twists, and your cock pulses before pumping loads of cum into your pants. You chant swears under your breath while you cling to her arms for dear life and she watches amusedly as a stain spreads on your pants. 
You’ve never been more of a mess in your life and she just smirks smugly before giving your cock a patronizing pat. 
“I’ll tell your dad you’ll be a little late to lunch.” And then she walks away, leaving you completely agape against the wall, cock still twitching in your pants. 
It’s hard to make eye contact with her the rest of the day without heat flushing through your cheeks and the memory of what she did to you making your cock stir. 
The second you can escape after dinner, you do. You fully intend on spending the rest of the night fucking yourself silly and trying to rid your brain of Agatha.
But around ten, there’s a knock on your door and you swing it open to find Agatha standing there in silk, navy pajamas and black glasses. Your jaw drops open and she brushes right past you to walk into your room and tosses something on the bed. 
A fleshlight. 
“What—” you start to say, but you can’t even finish your question because all the blood in your brain has rushed down to your cock in record time. 
Agatha turns to face you, hands on her hips, lips pursed. “Show me that you can last five minutes with it—” nods at the toy, “—and we’ll see about me letting your cock anywhere close to me.” 
Your breaths come out staggered and you stumble over to the bed, head spinning. There’s no way this is actually happening. You shove down your sweatpants and boxers and your cock bobs up, rigid and hard and leaking copious amounts of precum. 
“God, already?” she snorts and your cock twitches. “You’re so fucking desperate, aren’t you?” 
A muffled whimper escapes your lips and you give yourself a quick stroke. “Fuck.” You reach for the fleshlight, heat completely overwhelming your body, but she stops you first. 
“Spit on yourself,” she orders and you watch her with wide and pleading eyes as a strand of saliva drops from your mouth onto your cock. You feel like you’re in a trance as you spread it out along your length, the wetness of your spit and precum coating your cock and making it glisten in no time. “Fucking pathetic.” 
Her jeers only make you harder and this time, she doesn’t object when you grab the toy. You think you can hear her sharply inhale when you drag your cock against the fake pussy lips and you already know there’s no fucking way you’re going to last one minute, let alone five. 
“Wanna fuck you like this,” you babble before pushing your tip in and instantly freezing at the silicone ridges squeezing around you. You sigh heavily before your breathing quickens and you’re practically panting by the time you get your entire cock inside the fleshlight. 
Agatha’s face is unreadable. “I’m impressed you made it in,” she says, coldly and completely dry, and it makes you thrust into it. It feels so good, even though it’s just a cold, plastic toy and you can only imagine how the real thing would feel. “Well, get on with it. Chop chop, honey. I haven’t got all night to watch your sorry attempt at proving you can fuck me.” 
You grunt and start moving your cock in and out of the toy, whines falling out of you, and you have to squeeze your eyes shut to focus on not cumming too soon. You want to last — you need to last for her, because she might actually let you touch her if you. 
“Ah ah,” she tuts and your cock throbs. “Open your eyes.” 
You obey, and the moment you see her, see the slight redness of her cheeks, you know you fucked up. 
With a loud grunt, you cum in the toy, filling it with so much of your seed that it spills out of the fake cunt and drips onto the floor as you continue snapping your hips up. 
Agatha laughs and walks straight to the door. “Not even thirty seconds. Maybe next time.” 
You are absolutely fucked. 
The next night, you’re almost to two minutes while desperately trying to think of anything else other than Agatha standing right there. She’s watching intently, like she’s studying your technique and critiquing it in her head, and you’re doing really well — you think you might actually have a chance to get to five. The secret is thinking about all the boring contracts you had to read this summer to keep your mind off the overwhelming pleasure you’re getting from the toy.
But then Agatha steps closer to you, runs a finger over your lips and down to cup your breast, and says, “God, you really are just a baby, aren’t you?” so sickly sweet. 
It makes you curse before filling the toy up again, your body completely betraying you. 
“That wasn’t fucking fair,” you try to argue. 
She sticks out her bottom lip in an exaggerated pout. “Oh, honey,” she coos and it’s so fucking condescending. Your cock twitches inside the toy. “It’s not my fault you’re so pathetic you can’t control yourself.”
“Yes, it is,” you whine and she rolls her eyes. 
“We’ll try again tomorrow. Maybe you should cum before I get here so you might have a chance at lasting for five minutes,” she taunts and you’re too embarrassed to tell her that you already got off before she came tonight. Clearly it did not work. 
You figure that maybe you just need to cum more throughout the day to build up some stamina. You fuck yourself with the fleshlight in the morning after you wake up with morning wood because surprise, surprise: you had another dream about Agatha. When she takes a sip of her orange juice at breakfast, eyes flicking up to meet yours as she sucks on the straw, you have to excuse yourself to go to the bathroom and it only takes you about six strokes before you’re cumming all over your hand. It’s a long day of lounging around the pool and hushed conversations, and the moment Agatha steps out onto the desk in a sensible one-piece, you have to wrap a towel around your waist so no one sees your erection through your swim trunks to run back to your room, hastily saying that you forgot sunscreen. You cum into the fleshlight in about three minutes. 
And about thirty minutes before she shows up to your room at 10 pm on the dot, you have another quick session with your hand. 
You are absolutely determined tonight. 
When she strolls in through the door, the air is different. She’s carrying a glass of Scotch and you snatch it as she walks past you, downing the rest in one sip. 
“Are you even old enough to drink?” she asks, eyebrow raised and giving you a once over. 
You laugh sarcastically before setting the cup down on the nightstand and tearing your shirt off over your head, not missing the way her gaze flicks down to your nipples. Usually, you just take your boxers off, but tonight, you want her to see all of you. 
“A little arrogant, hm?” 
Nodding your head, you spit onto your cock and stroke it to full hardness. This is also the first time you haven’t had a raging erection the second she arrived. Before she can say anything, you’ve grabbed the fleshlight and started thrusting your cock into it. It feels good, but you’ve become so desensitized to it, just from today, that you’re feeling more confident than ever. 
Agatha realizes this, sees it on your face. “Wow, look at my slut,” she croones. “She finally learned how to fuck herself. Doesn’t mean you can fuck someone else though. I bet the moment you get inside me, you’ll cum because you’re too fucking pathetic to actually make me feel good.” 
The degradation goes straight to your cock and you grunt, pausing for a second before resuming. The smirk on her face is as frustrating as it is hot and only makes it harder to think clearly. 
“You’re just a worthless little whore, aren’t you?” she snarls and your breaths become shallow and your thrusts become more like quick ruts into the toy. 
“Yes, fuck,” you moan quietly, tightly, and god she’s not playing fair at all. The toy is squeezing you so hard and it’s becoming tougher to keep fucking it, but the prize of getting to be inside Agatha is so close if you can just hang on. 
She scoffs sharply but you can see the heat on her face. Fuck. She likes this. “How are you not absolutely humiliated by yourself and how desperate you are?” she says, getting meaner, and precum is leaking out of the toy each time you drive your cock back into the toy. If you weren’t actively using all of your effort to keep from cumming, you think you would’ve filled up the fleshlight at least three times by now. Agatha is trying so hard to break you, but you refuse. 
The most excruciating five minutes of your life finally end, and you are so fucking triumphant. “We had a deal,” you remind her hoarsely. 
“Stop acting like lasting five minutes is an accomplishment,” she scorns and you have to pull the toy off your aching erection or you actually might cum. Your cock bobs up and down, trails of precum dripping onto the floor and down your length. You’ve made such a mess. “Get on the bed,” she orders, and your heart stops. 
You lay on the duvet, resting your back against the pillows, and watch with bated breath as Agatha slowly unbuttons her pajama shirt. You whine when you can see her tits, round and perky, and you need to get her rosy nipples in your mouth immediately. She takes off her shorts and you can’t help but hump the air, your cock engorged and neglected. 
“Please,” you sob. “It hurts so fucking bad.”
She mockingly coos and then climbs onto the bed with her underwear still on, straddles your hips, and she slowly grinds against your cock. A loud, high-pitched keen tears itself out of your mouth and you buck up into her, but she tsks and hovers above you. “Patience, pet,” she says and there are literal tears in your eyes from how hard you are. 
Agatha reaches down and pulls her panties to the side and rubs her clit for a moment. 
“Can I—”
“—touch me? No. There’s no way you’d make it inside me then,” she sneers and you hate to admit that she’s right. 
“I’m sorry,” you mumble, your cock jumping when she slides two fingers in herself. Your head is spinning, completely drunk with need for her. 
She takes pity on you and grabs your cock, angling it at her entrance. “It’s okay, honey. You’re just a little baby. My little, pathetic, desperate baby.” 
And then she slides down on your cock in one slick motion and your hands scramble to dig into the bedsheets and a loud, strangled moan comes out of your mouth, and you cum instantly, the feeling of her warm, wet walls around you too much to bear. 
To her credit, she doesn’t laugh as you rut into her frantically. She just waits for you to finally calm down before squeezing her cunt around you. It makes you gasp. “I knew you couldn’t last,” she says, slowly starting to bounce up and down your cock. 
“Too sensitive,” you whine and she clucks her tongue. 
“Well, you promised that you were going to fuck me, didn’t you?” 
Your cock has softened inside her, your cum starting to leak out of her pussy, and she collects it with her fingers and starts to rub her clit. Her walls spasm around you and you twitch. You nod your head and bite your lip — she is everything you’ve ever wanted. 
It takes a few minutes of Agatha clenching around you to bring you back to full hardness, a speedy recovery even by your standards, and she starts to ride you for real. 
“Good thing you’re the poster child for instant gratification,” she grunts, lifting herself up and then back down. There’s such a mess between the two of you that there’s squelching sounds each time she moves on you. You’re practically frozen beneath her and all you can do is watch as she fucks herself on you. “Just need to make you cum before actually being able to use you. I’ll train you so well, make you nothing into more than a cock for me to fuck.” 
You finally regain the ability to think and start desperately thrusting up into her, needing more than anything to make her moan, to make her cum. She’s riding you faster and harder and her chest is becoming flushed and you think she might actually be getting somewhere. 
But she squeezes around you again and fucking groans and you never stood a chance. “Fuck, fuck, fuck — Agatha, I’m gonna — fuck!” you cry and erupt inside her again, painting her walls white once again. You’re not even sure if you made it five minutes inside her. 
Agatha slows down on top of you and you wince at the overstimulation of her still wrapped around you. 
“Did you?” It’s a stupid question, one you already know the answer to, but you’re hoping that maybe you got it wrong. 
Her laugh tells you that you did not and she slides off you, your cock flopping against your stomach in a sticky puddle, and she grabs the edge of the blanket on your bed to wipe the globs of cum oozing out of her. Fuck. You’ll never be able to use that blanket without getting hard again and you know that you’ll be fucking the fabric every single day for the rest of your life. 
She flops down next to you and you wonder if it would be foolish to ask her to stay. “It’s not that easy to make me cum, pet. But don’t worry. I’ll get you there.”
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eddiemunsonswhxre · 9 months ago
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whatcha thinkin about? / jj maybank
rated: m (18+, minors DNI)
masterlist
wc: 6.4k
cw: best friends to more, use of marijuana, explicit language, pet/nicknames, oral (f receiving), piv (protected), squirting, kinda some overstimulation, kinda fluffy too
after not being able to get relief in months, jj accidentally discovers this and has no problem helping you out.
-
you were so horny. you were laying on your bed with your best friend after sharing a blunt and staring up at the glow in the dark stars on your ceiling while music blasted through your speaker. and you were so, so horny. 
how’d you get to this point? well, you hadn’t done anything sexual, not even with just yourself in months as your younger sister had to move in with you while her room was being redone. she moved out today, so after two and a half torturous months you were free to have friends hang out and do anything you pleased in your own room. when you told this to your friends, jj was the first one to offer to come over. you agreed instantly, he thought it was just because he was bringing a blunt for you to share and your favorite chips, but you really just liked being around jj. 
jj was… almost perfect with you. his humor matched yours, dipping into the darker and dirtier side of things. he was extremely gentle with you, always taking extra care to make sure you were safe getting on and off the boat or making sure you always had water or a blanket or a snack whenever you needed. this was something he didn’t do for kiara or sarah but they didn’t take offense, they knew why. jj was also so easy to talk to. despite coming off as more immature and aloof, he was a great listener and good at comforting you and giving you advice. you gave him the same respect, but what you didn’t know was that you were the only one he would talk to about his feelings like that. 
you liked jj, obviously. you found him to be extremely attractive and have more than once tried to hide your turned on state from him over a simple action. but you’ve never been this horny in front of him before. “whatcha thinkin about, mama?” he asks lowly, his words barely registering over adele’s belts. he moves onto his side, hand coming to rest on your stomach. he feels your stomach spasm underneath his palm but chalks it up to scaring you. 
your eyes widen slightly and then you’re turning your head to avoid eye contact. “nothing,” you hummed.
“oh, don’t give me that shit, what’s going on up there?” he chides, moving his hand up to ruffle your hair before returning it to your stomach. 
you narrow your eyes and reach to move your hair from your eyes. “seriously, jj, i’m not thinking about anything,” you groan. you want him to just drop it but of course he won’t.
he tsks and you wait for him to say something. instead, he begins tickling your sides. you yelp in surprise before you start giggling. you try pushing him away which only makes him move his torso above yours, hovering over and tickling your sides. your eyes are closed as you start laughing really hard and jj allows his eyes to wander. he hopes to mentally commit the image of your tits bouncing in your small tank top to memory. 
you try and grab ahold of your strength enough to push him back and lose his balance. you feel the weed kick in and try to turn yourself over to get off the bed completely. jj doesn’t waste a second, grabbing your waist and forcefully flipping you on your back and crawls further on top of you. one of his knees falls between yours and you feel your breath shake through the laugh you couldn’t hold back. “jj,” you gasp through giggles. 
“tell me,” he jokingly yells, moving to tickle your hips. you rock side to side while pulling your knees up trying to escape his touch, huge smile on your lips. your movement causes your skirt to ride up and jj knows if he looks for one more second he’ll be able to see your underwear. he looks away, partially regretting it, and pushes himself up farther. he pushes your knees back down as he moves, your knee grazing his inner thigh and causing him to bite his lip. he begins tickling towards your armpits, and you begin screaming with laughter. you felt yourself getting wetter every second. you couldn’t stop laughing, but internally your body was screaming with red lights flashing around you. the idea of him being so close to your core had you clenching around nothing, pushing some of your arousal into the fabric of your thin underwear. 
you try squeezing your legs together but jj’s knee keeps them open just enough for you to not get any friction. tears begin filling your eyes from laughter as the wet patch on your underwear spreads. “what’s so important and secretive huh? so big of a secret you can’t tell your daddy jj?” he asks, using one of the cringey nicknames the two of you often threw around jokingly. but in this state, it just sent a wave to your core and a small gasp of a moan made it through your laughter. jj didn’t even notice your noises until he went to readjust himself over you and his knee presses against your soaked underwear. he froze in his place, feeling the warmth and wet of you against him, wet enough that he could feel both of your lips crushed against him.  
you’re able to come down from your laughing as jj moves back, scratching the back of his head. “sorry about that, y/n,” he trails. you are absolutely mortified. the tears in your eyes turn to ones of pure embarrassment. you sit up pulling your knees to your chest, cringing as the sound of your pussy squeezing together fills the silence. jj gulps, using every ounce of control in his body to keep his dick soft. 
“oh my god,” you mumble, embarrassed as you lay your head on your knees. 
jj feels bad, he didn’t mean to make you embarrassed or uncomfortable. “it’s okay, y/n, i’m not like grossed out or weirded out or anything. i think everyone knows that that sort of thing just kind of… happens… even for no reason,” he tries reassuring, moving towards you slowly. 
you shake your head trying to gather your thoughts. “i just- god i should’ve asked you to leave when it started i didn’t want this to be awkward.” you rant, raising your head slightly but refusing to meet his eyes. jj’s face changes as a lightbulb goes off in his head. 
“ah, so you’ve been worked up for a while… is that what you were thinking about all that time?” he asks, a bit of slyness falling into his tone. you chuckle at him, glad that he could always change the mood of a conversation. 
you wipe at your eyes before speaking, “yes, well, kind of, it just hit me that my room is just my room again.”
jj looks at you with slight shock. “please don’t tell me you’ve gone these entire like three fucking months without masturbating or something,” he says in a tone that sort of sounds like worry. 
you feel your cheeks heat up, but know it’s probably not noticeable with how red you were from laughing and crying. “there hasn’t been opportunities,” you say with a shrug. 
“fuck, y/n, i… i can’t believe that, i absolutely couldn't do that. i jerk off everyday- sorry- my point is it’s a part of our routines and not having that can be bad. shit, you should’ve asked to use my room,” he jokes at the end. 
“to what? masturbate in your bed? no,” you laughed, relaxing more. 
jj raised his brows and lowered himself to sitting on your bed again. “i would’ve done it all up for you, washed sheets, a speaker, water, whatever else,” he continues. 
your heart tightens in your chest, pussy mimicking your action. “so kind of you,” you mutter, rolling your eyes. 
“i’m deadass, y/n. it’s a tragedy you’ve had to hold out this long,” he says, watching with a smirk as you shudder slightly. 
“can we not talk about me using your bed to get off?” you ask.
jj shrugs, moving closer. “i don’t know, can we talk about how wet you are?” he didn’t know if this remained in the gray area. he wanted to push a little and see if he could get you, but also wanted to stay where he could still manage to laugh it off as a joke. 
your breath caught in your throat as your eyes met his. “jj…” you trail as some kind of warning. 
“be so honest with me, did you only realize you could now masturbate freely in your room again or were you thinking about someone? maybe daddy jj helping you out?” his voice becomes huskier but he forces the teasing look to remain on his face. 
you can’t stop the strangled noise that leaves the back of your throat, visions of his slim fingers sliding in and out of you with ease. “maybe,” you whisper, testing the waters jj had dragged you both into. 
jj didn’t expect that answer, therefore in one moment he lost his ability to laugh this off if things went wrong and you backed out. “why don’t you come closer, mama? don’t want to have this conversation too loudly over the music right?” he raises his brows, gesturing to your speaker that was supposed to hide your conversations with jj from prying sisters and parents. “yeah, why don’t you just sit right on my lap here,” he says, reaching for your hips as you push yourself to move closer to him. 
“y-your lap?” you stutter, his grip on your hips sending a throbbing heat to your pussy. 
he nods, guiding you into his lap. your legs rest on either side of his, using your thighs to keep your core from his dick. “you trust me?” he whispers, looking at you with sincere eyes. he’d decided to just go for it. you nod apprehensively and he leans down, placing the softest slow kisses across your neck. a small sigh of content passes through you as a hand subconsciously finds purchase in his hair. “tell me exactly what you were imagining, what did you have me do to you?” jj mumbles against your skin. 
you stay silent, partially in shock as his words absorb. you’re brought to reality when he pinches some skin on top of your hip. “oh-” you mutter, brain scrambling. were you really going to tell him this? “hands,” you spit out without thinking, “you could do things with your hands they’re… really nice to look at,” you try explaining. 
jj chuckles into your neck causing you to wince in embarrassment. so smooth y/n… “nice to look at it? hm, i can only imagine all the things you wish they could do to you,” he says, his hot breath covering your collar bone as he still focuses on your neck. he’s getting lost in the moment, so lost that he can’t consider how bad the outcome of this could be. instead of a soft kiss, he licks along your collarbone slowly. you shudder under his touch, pressing your chest towards him slightly. jj takes this as a confirmation and attaches his lips to your skin, sucking harshly while his grip on your waist tightens. 
you’re unable to stop the breathy moan that leaves your lips and your grip in his hair tightens. “jj…” you whine quietly when he nips at your skin.
he grunts, running his hands up your sides. “fuck, y/n… you don’t know how long i’ve waited to hear you moaning for me,” he admits. he has definitely gone past the gray area. he had sped away from it and there was no going back now as his cock grew hard underneath you. he pulls his face from your neck, yanking you harshly down so you’re fully sitting on his lap. you let out another small moan as you feel how hard his dick is beneath you and are unable to stop an experimental roll of your hips. jj closes his eyes at the pleasure, momentarily wondering how the fuck he ended up here. “are we doing this?” he asks quietly, opening his eyes to meet your glossy ones. 
you bite your lip in slight apprehension. “i want to…” you say, trailing off and moving your eyes from his.
jj looks down for a second. “but…?” he asks, knowing you had more to say. if you didn’t to for some reason he’d accept that, but how was he supposed to see you again and not think of this?
“but i’m scared it could ruin our friendship, like make it… awkward,” you say, your hands falling from his head and shoulder to crack your knuckles, a nervous tick jj picked up on years ago.
jj’s hands move back to just above your hips, pushing away his thoughts regarding your soaked pussy being pressed against his cock only separated by your underwear and his swim trunks. “what would make it awkward?” he asks softly, not trying to sound sarcastic but thoughtful. 
a huff leaves your lips, your pussy pulsing against him still undeniably aroused. “we think about it and regret it later, or it turns into a regular thing and just… i am not built for friends with benefits, jj,” you say, looking at him with worry in your eyes. jj knew why you said that, since knowing him, he’d had three different friends with benefits situations. jj maybank didn’t date and you knew that. only, if it was you, jj would. and he figured it might be time to tell you. 
“who said we had to be friends with benefits? we could be… something else,” he suggests, struggling to put it into words. 
you roll your eyes. “jj what does that even mean?” you groan. 
his eyes flick between yours, trying to gauge your feelings. “you know, people who do those types of things but aren’t just friends…” he stammers. 
“are you trying to say like… be together?” you ask, extremely unsure of yourself.
“yes, y/n, i want to date you,” he pushes out, embarrassment heating his cheeks. you were shocked at his confession, but felt nothing but excitement flood your body. you don’t waste another second, reaching to grab the sides of his face and you’re quickly crashing your lips to his. jj’s eyes flutter shut as his grip tightens and he passionately kisses you back. you moan into his mouth, your hips moving without your consent. his hands travel to your ass, using his grip to harshly push you towards him. you take the hint and continue grinding against him as the kiss turns sloppy. you’re barely able to catch your breath as jj won’t let you pull away that you’re both panting against the other. another wave of arousal floods your panties and jj swears he can feel it. this is what causes you to pull away from his lips. your foreheads rest against each other and your eyes hold each others gaze. “so,” jj starts, “are we doing this?”
you pull back from him and reach towards your phone on the bed. he watches you carefully, watching as you pull up spotify. you change your playlist, not necessarily wanting your first time with jj to be to set fire to the rain. jj smirks as a chase atlantic song plays from your speaker and you turn it up, hopefully loud enough to drown out any noises either of you would make. “you have a playlist for this?” he asks teasingly. 
“shut up,” you groan, tossing your phone on your bedside table. jj chuckles and pulls your face back to kiss him. 
his teeth latch on your lower lip, tugging it just enough to get a moan out of you. “i can’t wait to make it through every song on this,” he teases before reattaching your lips. 
you pull on the hair at the nape of his neck causing him to let a small noise out of his throat. “mm, don’t think it’ll be easy,” you say, unable to stay off of his addictive lips long enough to finish your thought. “this playlist, is hours long,” you sigh into his mouth, feeling the head of his cock nudge your clit as you grind against him. 
“you say that like it’s supposed to discourage me,” he says, pulling back and using his grip on your ass to hold you close to him. you squeal as you grip on to him to avoid falling as he moves himself to his knees. he leans down, carefully lowering you onto the bed on your back. “is your door locked?” he asks as he pulls back. you shake your head no and he gets up to do it. 
“if my doors locked-” you start, pushing yourself onto your arms. 
jj turns the lock. “then no one can walk in, you can make an excuse if they even notice,” he says, walking back over to you. “now, why don’t you just let me prove what my hands can actually do are better than your fantasies,” he teases, climbing back on your bed and between your legs. 
“o-okay,” you say, head going dizzy with arousal. jj shuffles towards you on his knees, grabbing just below yours and tugging you harshly towards him. you yelp in surprise but he’s already throwing your thighs over his to rest on the outside of his hips. he lifts your skirt, laying it on your stomach and you shudder as the exposure to the air makes you shiver under your wet panties. 
jj is uncharacteristically quiet as his eyes are trained on your pussy, his hands rubbing your upper thighs sensually. you squirm under his touch, whining in desperation. “so impatient, mama,” he teases. he moves closer, his finger trailing along the outer seam of your underwear. you whine again, needing any kind of friction immediately. “mm, i guess you’ve been waiting long enough today, huh?” he says, more to himself. you nod and he’s bringing his thumb to rub light little circles around your clit. you relax into his touch, lifting your hips slightly to meet his hand. jj is nothing short of mesmerized. you were so wet he could feel your arousal beneath your panties, some of it soaking through the fabric and onto his thumb. 
your thighs involuntarily clench at the small movements jj’s making around your swollen clit and it causes him to laugh. “jj, please,” you whimper. 
“i’m never going to get tired of that,” he says, pulling his thumb up and sticking it into his mouth. your jaw drops open at his action, watching his eyes close as he sucks any remnants of your arousal off his thumb. he pulls his thumb from his mouth with a pop and looks directly at you with a smirk. “or of that,” he says, moving himself back. “slight change of plans,” he says, resting his hands on your upper thighs. 
you furrow your brows at him. “what do you mean?” you ask lightly, pussy throbbing at this point. 
jj chuckles, hooking his fingers into the waistband of your underwear and moving them back and forth. “you’ve gotta let me eat this pussy, baby,” he says, watching your face closely. 
“holy shit,” you whisper, hands coming up to cover your face. you couldn’t believe this was happening. 
“yes or no, baby, it’s 100% up to you,” he mumbles, softer this time to reassure you you don’t need to do anything if you don’t want to. 
you shake your head moving your hands. “god, jj, please,” you whine and jj can see the way your pussy clenches around nothing. 
he smirks once more. “thank god,” he grumbles, pulling your underwear swiftly down, moving your legs up so he can pull them completely off and throw them somewhere on your floor. “take your top off, wanna have those pretty tits on display for me, okay?”
it takes less than two seconds for you to obey, sitting up slightly to pull off your shirt, quickly followed by your bra. you go to reach for your skirt but jj swats your hand away. “the skirt stays,” he mutters, pushing you down and his eyes scan your entire body. he glides his hands over your tits, giving them a small squeeze before continuing down. when he finds his eyes falling on your bare pussy for the first time he feels his cock jump under his shorts. 
you watch him closely as he maneuvers himself to align his face with your pussy. you gulp in anticipation as he uses his thumbs to pull your lips apart, a hungry look on his face as he sees how your arousal literally glistens in the setting sunlight coming in through your window. he looks up to you, holding eye contact and lowering himself down with his tongue stuck out of his mouth. his tongue lays flat against your core as he drags himself up to lick a fat stripe up your pussy. your eyes close involuntarily and your head falls back onto your pillows. his tongue drags across your clit, causing you to clamp your thighs around his head. “jay,” you gasp out a moan, rather loudly. 
“hey, you gotta keep it down. we don’t want someone trying to interrupt us, do we, mama?” he says in a stern almost warning tone that you hadn’t heard him use before. it had you clenching your thighs once again. you nod in agreement and look at him expectantly. jj can’t make you wait any longer, and honestly he can’t either. 
jj’s tongue flattens against you once again, licking a faster stripe from your entrance to your clit. you bite on your lip as he repeats this action over and over again. the heat of his mouth makes you shudder. once jj feels you relax from this movement, he knows it’s time to switch it up. he adjusts himself, using his tongue to now quickly flick your clit. you have to cover your mouth to be safe as the knot in your core begins to tighten deliciously. jj can feel you clenching around nothing and decides to fix that for you. he moves his arm under him so he can slip a finger into you. you didn’t anticipate it, a shocked moan leaving your lips. his middle finger moves slowly in and out of you in contrast to the speed of his tongue. your moans become closer together and jj knows he’s taking you in the right direction. he removes his middle finger, momentarily pulling away from you completely to hook your legs over his shoulders, your heels resting on the middle of his back. the slight change in angle heightens the pleasure you feel as jj reattaches his lips to your clit. except this time he’s sucking on it and quickly enters two fingers into you. 
your hands fly to his hair, chest heaving at how good he was making you feel. jj looks up, watching your breasts move with each heave of your chest as they’re squeezed together between your arms. the view was nothing short of ethereal and jj wished he could have a picture. he’d talk to you about that later… “jj, please, don’t stop,” you whine, pushing him further into your pussy. he begins switching between flicking and suckling on your clit and his fingers switch instead to curling inside you. “shit,” you moan, trying your hardest to keep it lower than the music which proves to be hard as the song switches from one to another. the sound of jj’s tongue against you mixed with the sound of his fingers fucking into you are sinful and it just adds to your building orgasm. 
jj swears he could cum in his pants if he let himself relax, but he didn’t want everything to be over so soon. although another song had started, successfully drowning out the majority of your sounds, he could both hear and feel as more arousal began leaking out of you. “jj, i-i, something’s- oh fuck, somethings not right,” you try to say through your moans. you’d made yourself cum with your vibrator many times, and a few times a guy had managed to push you over the edge, but it never felt like this. jj though, couldn’t hear you. he was too caught up in making you cum and the sounds your pussy was making for him. “j- wait i- oh my god,” you say, your voice reaching a squeak at the end. jj looks up at you this time, not slowing his assault on your clit. your head falls back and the knot is the tightest it’s ever been, it’s almost painful. “i’m going to… ah shit- gonna cum,” you barely get out. jj speeds up his movements despite you not thinking it was possible. 
your thighs lock around jj’s head, shaking as a way too loud moan of his name leaves your lips and your vision goes white. jj’s movements falter as he feels the vice grip on his fingers and them almost being pushed out of your pussy by a huge abundance of arousal. he thinks (or maybe doesn’t) quickly and moves his mouth lower, switching his fingers and mouth. he rubs quickly across your clit with his mouth hanging open near your entrance, tongue out ready to catch the harsh stream of squirt leaving your pussy. it’s so intense hitting the back of his throat that it causes him to choke a little. your orgasm begins to subside and he’s able to stop his fingers, instead moving to caress every part of you coated with your release with his tongue. he doesn’t stop until you're lightly pushing his head away. 
he pushes himself up, looking down at the massive mess you had made before moving up and leaning over you. he brushes your hair out of your face, analyzing your widened eyes that seemed focused on nothing as you tried to catch your breath. you blink a few times, finally meeting his eyes. “you never told me you were a squirter,” he jokes with you, stroking your cheek to help ground you. 
“i-i, i didn’t… i’ve never.. oh my god,” you say, pushing up a little to look down, wincing as you move your legs and feel how soaked your bedspread is. 
jj moves with you, your admission feeding his ego. “so… you’ve never squirted before? you’re saying i’m the only one who’s made you squirt, ever?” he teases, using his hand to guide your chin to look at him. 
you nod slowly, feeling embarrassed. “i- i’m sorry,” you say, not sure how you should be feeling.
jj looks at you shocked. “sorry?! uh uh, mama, don’t you dare be sorry. that was hot as fuck,” he says, stroking your jaw comfortingly. you continue to look away, replaying what had just happened in your mind. jj notices and leans down, putting his lips next to your ear. “let’s see if we can make you squirt around my cock,” he whispers, dropping his hand between your thighs to rub your sensitive clit. 
“jj…” you gasp at the sensation, still sensitive from the intense from the orgasm you just had.
his teasing personality definitely carries into his intimate moments you realize. “awe, don’t tell me you’re gonna quit after just one orgasm,” he says, smiling at you before connecting his lips to yours. you whimper into his mouth, holding his neck and pulling him closer to you as his fingers rub slow circles over your clit.
your hands start to travel slowly down his chest until you reach the hem of his shirt. “off,” you mumble into his lips. jj smiles into the kiss, using his hand not on your clit to guide your hands under his shirt. you let your hands roam his chest before using your nails to lightly scratch downwards, eventually following his v line. once you hit the band of his shorts, he’s pulling away from you to pull his shirt over his head, tossing it behind him similar to how he’d thrown your panties earlier. you start to lean towards him, wanting to mark up his neck like he had.
however, jj stops your movements. “y/n, if i don’t fuck you right now, i’m gonna bust from just your touch and i really need to fuck this pussy,” he says, looking at you both serious and joking. you nod, returning to your previous position as he stands up and reaches for his backpack. he digs around in it for a second and you rub your legs together in anticipation. you’d dreamed about this for so long. and finally, on a random day, you finally get it. part of you wishes you would’ve done this sooner. yes it was unintentional, but maybe you could’ve brought up your feelings for him over the past so many months and this would’ve come so much faster. but, it was happening now and that’s what really mattered. 
he pulls a condom from his bag and wastes no time getting rid of his swim trunks. your eyes fall to his dick, seeing that it was slick with precum. he quickly opens the condom and slides it on while your mouth waters at the slight. you wanted to taste him, wanted to feel the weight of him on your tongue. “don’t look at me like that… fuck. next time i want you sucking me dry, got it?” he whines before giving you an accusatory look as if he wasn’t the one who decided he just had to fuck you right now. 
you just nod and watch as he puts his knee on the bed. “can i take my skirt off?” you ask, wanting to have a better view and it was soaked beneath you. 
jj hesitates, he really wanted to fuck you in a skirt, but there’d be more opportunities. “if you’re more comfortable,” he says, nodding towards you. you quickly discard it and look at jj for further instruction. a pang of possession hits him hard in the chest when he sees the way you’re staring at him. “flip over,” he grumbles. you blink in shock but push yourself up onto your hands and knees. jj forcefully pulls your hips towards him causing your back to arch. he gently pushes on the back of your head until you follow his lead and he pushes your face into the pillow. “need you to moan into your pillow mama, probably gonna get quite loud,” he grunts as you move to having your arms crossed above you and your face on your cheek. 
“cocky much?” you question with a smirk. it falls off your face when jj lads a hard smack on your pussy and you move away from him. 
jj moves into the position he wants and grabs your hips. he guides his dick to slide between your folds, barely thrusting forward enough to graze your clit. “ready?” he asks, rutting against you. 
you purse your lips before nodding, a small, “yes,” leaving your lips. jj immediately reaching for his dick and guiding it to your entrance. you clench in anticipation, jj smiling at the sight before slowly pushing just the tip into you. “fuck,” you whine into the pillow. he takes this as a good sign, slowly sinking further and further into you. you’re so wet, it’s barely a struggle to slide deep inside you. 
“i love your pussy, holy shit,” jj groans as he bottoms out. you were so warm around him and the way you hugged his cock felt like you were two pieces of the same puzzle. not only did you taste good, you felt fucking amazing. jj’s mind wanders for a moment, thinking of all the different ways he can destroy your sweet cunt. but he’s brought back to reality the way you clench around him. he pulls his hips back as you squeeze him, the sensation on his tip making him concentrate on not finishing at that second. he pulls about halfway out before thrusting back into you. his thrusts aren’t very fast, working on the fact that he had to make you cum again. you moaned into your pillow as the head of his dick hit a spot that no one had hit before. you didn’t normally fuck in this position, having only really done it once before, so feeling this new sensation had stars swimming in your vision. 
jj used his hands to guide your hips back on to him. he was able to go so deep his balls rested against your lips getting them coated in your arousal and it was driving him crazy. the wet sounds could already be heard pretty clearly between the two of you, the music doing its job at covering it up for anyone outside the room. it made you both hornier, and you were already feeling an orgasm begin to build. “faster,” you turned your head out of the pillow to moan quietly. 
“faster? already, baby?” he asks with a smirk. he knew he could make you dumb on his cock. “you just really want me to cum fast don’t you?” he teases. you whimper in response and that’s all it takes for him to mostly pull his dick out of you just to slam back in. you let out a scream of pleasure into your pillow and jj can’t help but feel proud in that moment. he realizes you’re going to cum a lot faster than he thought and sets an unrelenting pace. the noise it makes is loud. the wet skin on both you colliding created a loud smacking noise and was accompanied by your bed frame rocking into your wall and the little noises jj was letting out. “need you to squirt all over me, cmon,” he grunts as he hammers into you. neither of you notice the speaker go quiet as it switches songs, the beginning of the next one having a quieter intro than previous. 
jj leans over you, using a hand near your side to hold him up as his other reaches around to find your clit. “oh fuck,” you moan in the most pornographic tone that has ever left you. jj feels a spurt of cum leak from his slit at that and groans, speeding up his fingers on your clit. the way you clench so tightly around him and moan every time he thrusts into you tells him you’re close. maybe you just needed a few words of encouragement. 
“cmon now, y/n, need you to squirt all over this dick so i know you’re all mine. hmm, yeah,” he starts, practically growling in your ear. “need to feel you cum while i’m deep inside your pretty little pussy. fuck, i fit so well. s’like you were made for me, this fucking cunt was made to get fucked by me. need you to come for me, right now, oh god,” jj grunts, struggling to keep up his pace and avoid cumming before you. 
your moans turn into chants of his name as he feels the first drops of you escape down his cock. he anticipates you to scream, but as the wave hits you, your mouth drops open drooling against the pillow and your eyes roll back into your head. you’re spraying jj from the hips down basically with your warm squirt and through your silent spasming you don’t even feel him finish. jj slows down his thrusts, small streams of squirt still making it past as you continue spasming beneath him. he’s trying so hard to not fall on top of you and also catch his breath. he finally pulls out, a small gush falling out of you as your hips barely stayed up and you gasped for air. he pulls the condom off, throwing it into the trash and tries his best in his wobbly state to lower your hips onto the bed and straighten out your legs. jj shakily lays down next to you, looking into your widened eyes. “oh my shit,” you mumble, still out of breath. 
jj smiles, resting a hand on your back. “there’s many more where that came from,” he winks at you. you want to make a smart ass remark but you’re still coming back to reality. jj’s hand rubs soothingly up and down your back as he notices you were struggling with coming down from your orgasm. “you’re okay, pretty girl. you did so good for me,” he coos soothingly. his words help ground you and once you have the ability to you reach out for him. 
his hand grabs your forearm, pulling the upper half of your body towards him. you were both slick with sweat and your cum, but you didn’t care just yet. jj pulls you against his chest, yours pressing to his, and uses a hand to comb through your hair while both of your shaking legs intertwine. “thank you,” you mutter when you finally feel stable again. 
jj snorts, “for what?” he thought you were about to say some stupid shit about fucking you too good or something. 
you look up to him, “never been held after,” quietly leaves your lips. jj feels a small stab at his heart seeing how sad your eyes looked. he just brushes your hair back while he avoids the more insensitive questions, wanting to know how someone could not need to just lay with who they just fucked for a minute. 
he doesn’t want to dim the moment, so he takes a different direction. “well, you know how it is with me, probably a little too touchy to begin with. remember all those times i ‘accidently’ touched your ass helping you off the boat? yeah, they weren’t accidents,” he admits with a smile on his face. 
“i knew it,” you mumbled and cuddled further into his chest. both of you take a few minutes to just appreciate where you are with each other and bask in it. until the stickiness becomes too uncomfortable.
jj pushed himself and you up, wincing at the sensation of your sticky skin separating. “let’s get cleaned up, yeah?” he asks you. you nod, both of you shakily standing from the bed to head to your en suite bathroom. you grab your phone, turning your speaker down significantly causing jj to chuckle. he grabs his phone as well, looking at the top notification. 
john b
hey man, guess you forgot we were all meeting up at y/n’s to go out at 8:30 to the beach. we decided to just go, meet up with us if you want. 
a tip? close y/n’s window before fucking her next time, especially when trying too hard to hide it with the music. 
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stevieschrodinger · 9 months ago
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Part one
Steve’s alone with fish guy, and it’s the perfect time to make his second attempt. For the first time Steve figures the guy must finally be relaxing, if only a tiny bit. The frozen peas were a massive hit, and maybe that’s helping. Being hungry like that must be really shitty, especially if it’s for a long time, like Steve suspects from the look of fish guy.
Maybe fish guy is starting to realize that this isn’t the labs under Starcourt any more. That Steve and his friends aren’t here to hurt fish guy.
Steve flicks another pea off into the water as he drinks his coffee; fish guy retrieves it in a flash, his eel like black tail easy to spot in the water, quickly coming back for more.
The kids keep calling him a merman - but he doesn't look like any cartoon or kids picture Steve's ever seen. His tail is too flat, for one, definitely more like an eel, plus there's no fins that Steve can see.
Steve offers him a handful of peas, carefully cupping them until fish guy has his hands cupped underneath, ready for them to be tipped in. They don’t touch, and Steve vaguely wonders if the guy will feel cold from the water. The skin of his fingers isn’t pruned like a regular persons would be, which makes sense since he’s a fish guy. Maybe he’ll feel clammy, or rubbery. Or scaly. Steve van very vaguely remember petting a stingray in a low tank at the aquarium once, surrounded by other kids. Might have been a field trip or something, but he can remember how surprised he was by the feeling of the mottled brown skin. Super rough, like sandpaper. Fish guy doesn’t look like he’ll feel like that either, though.
Fish guy eats his handful of peas and then looks back to Steve expectantly; or at least, that’s what he’d call it on a human person. It must be the same sort of thing though, right? The top half, at least, is built the same, right?
Steve’s down to his last handful of frozen peas; he’s already called Robin, she’s going to pick up a bunch of groceries of the green variety on her way over after her shift later. Also a few other bits, like carrots and bell peppers, to see if fish guy will try them.
Steve holds up a single pea between his thumb and pointer finger. Fish guy’s eyes track it from where he floats, a foot away from the ledge. Steve taps his chest, “Steve,” and then he points to fish guy.
Like last night, he comes a little closer, lifting out of the waster a little and then, cautiously points at Steve, he makes a noise that...kind of...sounds like ‘Steve’. His voice is raspy, and the word is kind of mangled, more of a sad ‘Steee,’ but near enough. It looks like he’s really trying, brow furrowed with concentration.
It’s not what Steve wanted, but Steve gives him the pea.
It’s overcast today, same as yesterday, and the day before. Blowy and cold. Steve doesn’t want to stay out here much longer, so he dumps the remaining peas into the water and then gets up and heads inside to wait for Robin.
Steve’s nearly at the door when he hears a splash and then a mournful, “Steeeeeeeeee.” and immediately regrets all of his life choices.
He sighs, and goes back to the pool, “yeah?”
Fish guy tilts his head, frowning, and then lifts his had out of the water, pointer finger and thumb a smidge apart...just like he’s holding an imaginary pea.
Well. Communication is definitely something they will be able to work on then. But Steve flaps the bag, showing the picture of the peas on the front, and the face that it’s very clearly empty, “all gone. Finished,” Steve makes a cutting motion in the air with the side of his hand, to indicate they’re done.
“Inied,” the fish guy manages cautiously.
“Yeah, finished.”
The fish guy watches him for a second, and then dips back down under the water, off too huddle in the bottom corner of the pool.
Steve wonders vaguely if he’s still hungry, but hopefully it won’t be that much longer before Robin gets here.
“I don’t think I’ve ever met someone who really, genuinely likes celery.”
“Me neither, it’s like peppery water.”
“With hair in.”
Fish guy though, very clearly, likes the celery. He didn’t quibble over the cucumber either, that disappeared very quickly. He was cautious about the carrots, but with a little encouragement, and a lot of sniffing, he ate the bottom half of one, not seeming to like it so much at the thicker end.
Steve hands him an entire bell pepper, watches as fish guy takes a bite. He seems to like it, but then pulls a face, scraping desperately at the seeds on his tongue and spitting the whole mess out into the water. Steve can’t help laughing. Fish guy looks affronted. The look of genuine distaste and irritation on his face is very human and also hilariously funny.
“Oh Steve, I think you offended him,” Steve wipes the tears away to see that Robin is right, and fish guy has gone to huddle in the far corner of the pool, only his eyes peeking out. That’s got to suck, having no where to go. No where to hide; no privacy at all.
“This has got to suck for him; he’s stuck in an empty box,” Steve tries to imagine living his entire existence in a completely empty room; he can’t, not really.
“Well what can we even do with him? He seems to be freshwater, so the oceans are out. Even if we let him go in a lake, we don’t know what he understands about people, if he got caught…” she trails off. Steve doesn’t need any help imagining what could happen.
“I don’t know but...we need a plan...and he needs something to do.”
“What like, enrichment for his enclosure?”
It’s the first sunny day for a while. Steve had been getting resentful about it but a bit of warm sunshine is starting to make up for it already.
Steve looks uncertainly down at the bucket of dollar store toys he’s paid for. Doesn’t matter that the kids picked them all out, apparently Steve is still the money in this operation.
Plus gas; they had to travel further since the mall is now a fenced off ruin.
All the kids are on their knees at one end of the pool; all of them holding something. There’s a slinky (he can play with it along the edge), a Rubik’s cube (water proof, and we might be able to figure out if he can see color), a bucket, a plastic dog bowl (it’ll float, you can fill it with peas), a rubber duck, and a ball.
Fish guy, on the other hand, had retreated to the furthest corner he could, curled up into a ball, and stayed there.
Steve’s starting to suspect that the noise of the kids constant chatter and bickering is actually a bit too much for fish guy to handle, from the way he either hides or watches them wearily from the other end of the pool. If they move, he moves.
“Maybe if we spread out, then one of use will be close enough because he won’t have anywhere to go-”
“Absolutely not,” Steve tells Dustin, “that’s cruel, if he’s hiding it’s for a reason. Just let the stuff be and he will deal with it when he’s ready.”
He gets a little bit of whining from them, mostly Will and Dustin, if he’s honest, all the other kids seem to be really understanding.
The ball and the bucket they let go to float around in the water, and the kids soon loose interest and head off to cause trouble elsewhere.
Steve desperately wants to dip his feet in the pool, same as he would on any other day, but since there’s someone living in it, it feels kind of rude. Like he’d be knowingly walking mud into someone's house, or something.
Steve kneels at the same end of the pool the kids were at, he doesn’t want to startle fish guy by appearing right above him. If he comes to Steve or not should be his choice, but Steve has two bunches of celery and a dog food bowl filled to the brim with frozen peas, so he thinks his chances are pretty good right now.
He’s right, fish guy does come over, but his whole face is scrunched up and he misses the celery on the first try; it takes Steve an embarrassingly long amount of time to figure it out, even with the guy eating with his eyes pretty much closed.
It’s the first fully sunny day they’ve had, and the guy had been in a shitty artificially lit lab, and before that, presumably the Upside Down for his whole life.
It’s fucking bright out here.
And even as he takes his sunglasses off, Steve has no idea how to communicate this with fish guy.
Steve has the bowl of peas for leverage, but still. He shows them to fish guy, who, squinting, does come closer. And then Steve hands over the glasses. Fish guy, face all scrunched up, tilts his head, looking at them.
Steve takes them back, put them on, takes the off, and offers them again. Ever so carefully and slowly, fish guy takes the glasses. Steve knows fish guy is at least kind of smart; he’s confident he will figure this out. He’s proved correct pretty fast when fish guy holds them up so he can blink up through the lenses.
And then he...very carefully, almost comically carefully, slides them on.
He grins up at Steve, and Steve floats the dog bowl in the water, giving it a nudge.
Fish guy looks delighted.
Part Three
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ivy-elle · 2 months ago
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“This is not gonna happen”
Or: How He Defends/ Protect You
Feat. Albedo, Scaramouche
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Albedo
The sunset is already about to start while you hurry through the streets of Mondstadt, trying to avoid any of the Knights of Favonius in case you get talked off by them.
You’re supposed to meet up with Albedo in front of the city to watch the sunset at the cliff – or rather, Albedo wanted to paint and had invited you to keep him company. Only, your work has held you up longer than expected and now you fear Albedo has either gone without you or, poor guy has been waiting all alone by the bridge.
“By Barbatos! Are you completely-“ You come to a shrieking halt at the same moment a middle-aged man stumbles a few steps backwards, clutching his chest in shock.
Swallowing back a curse you hastily squat down to reach for the firewood he dropped in his distress. “I’m so sorry, Simon. Are you alright?”
“Am I-?”
When you glance back up, you’re surprised by how red his face has turned. Perhaps ‘alright’ wouldn’t be a suited term indeed.
“Say, are you out of your mind! How dare you startle me that immensely?”
Slowly, you rise back up, the woods now secure in your arms.
“Have you got not manner – You should be ashamed of yourself!”
While Simon keeps insulting you, you are admittedly a bit taken aback by his sudden outburst. Of course, it’s not nice to be startled out of now where but – no need to act so harsh, right?
But when he keeps raising his voice and is now basically screaming straight into your face, you get back on track and steady yourself, because how dare he just treat you like that?
“Sir, there is no need to shout” you interfere his triage of rage, feeling your own anger rising, “I can hear you quite well. Besides, no huge enough damage has been done to justify losing one’s civil tongue.”
Simon's eyes flash in fury at your words. “Civil tongue? Have you lost the last of your senses? You should be begging for forgiveness for me not to report the incident to the Knights of Favonius.”
Before your frustration gets the chance to slip through your lips in a way less than civilised response, you feel the gentle touch hand on your shoulder.
“Excuse me. Is something the matter here?”
It’s only when you turn and see Albedo at your side, do you also notice some bystanders who have stopped at the commotion and are now exchanging curious glances.
Great. This is gonna be the talk of town tomorrow.
But despite the situation, Albedo’s presence has its usual calm effect upon you, and you feel your anger settle. A bit at least.
Even Simon seems to paddle back and settle down in his current outburst.
Albedo’s eyes find yours, searching for answers he probably already concluded himself. “Are you alright?”
You nod slowly. “I’m alright.”
His eyes sweep over you once more, before he turns to Simon. “Sir, has there any harm come to you or any of your goods?”
Simon huffs, crossing his arms defiantly. “As far as I can tell, the woods are fine.” Only then does he seem to realise you’re still holding said woods in your arms and his eyes dart to you, narrowing. 
As if sensing another upcoming dispute, Albedo subtly steps in front of you, before declaring in his own appeasing and soft-spoken manner, “While I understand your discomposure, Sir,” he states and you notice his voice also contains a certain firmness, “it is not right to treat your opponent with such approach. It will fuel only more ire, and the outcome won’t serve any of the parties.”
You keep your eyes on Simon, watching the different emotions swirl through his face. Anger, frustration, confusion, and then something akin to disappointment. He nods slowly, but also a bit taken aback by Albedo’s calm demeanour, not knowing where to disseminate his emotions now.
Simons huffs again, almost unsure how to react, so he grabs the wood out of your arms, while deliberately avoiding looking at you and grumbles. “Alright, well, uh, I might’ve just lost my nerves there.”
 “I apologise for startling you," you respond to which he nods once, still avoiding your gaze. His eyes dart to Albedo before clutching his wood and stomping off.
Albedo, who notices the bystanders starting to whisper to each other, gently takes your wrist and guides you past the gates, to the outskirts of town.
The sun is already setting as you stroll quietly along the bridge. You feel his hand on the small of your back, gently leading you forwards.
After a while Albedo breaks the silence. “I apologize if I overstepped by interfering in the dispute. But I did not appreciate the way Simon talked to you, let alone reacted to the incident.”
“I think you handled it fairly eloquent.” A smile tugs at the corner of your lips as you glance at him from the side. “The People of Mondstadt are all prone to temper their anger at your demeanour. You’re quite liked among them.”
Albedo gives a soft, amused huff, meeting your eyes. “My dear, I believe you are merely biased in that matter.”
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Scaramouche
“With all due respect, Ma’am, but I’ve already been assigned a different role for this mission.”
Your superior Nomura regards you with a sharp look – not even your averted eyes could alleviate the goosebumps crawling down your skin.
“We’ve established this change of plan to be the best strategy, Agent. Are you refusing your duty?”
“No, Ma’am.” You cross your arms formally behind your back, trying to keep your frustration at bay. It’s not unusual for you to be subjected to whatever hell she offers, but normally she at least knows to inform you in an appropriate timing about something as important as that.
“However, I would require time to assess the new circumstances and gather the needed information.”
Nomura tightens her lips as if she’s annoyed by your presence alone. “That won’t be necessary. We do not have the time, and I believe your skills to be sufficient to assess the situation when it arises. Do we understand each other?”
“Yes, Ma’am.” Again, you keep your voice neutral and expression unbothered while you watch her return to the rest of the divisions, which are waiting by the river.
Archons, why couldn’t Nomura inform you earlier? But alas. At least she has trust in your skills.
You huff quietly to yourself as you head to your new division, however Scaramouche’s sudden presence next to you holds you back. How can this man be so fast all the time?
“And where do you think you’re going?”
Even though Scaramouche outranks your Superior – and following that logic you as well – by a long shot, you feel your posture loosen up almost immediately. A familiar calm settling down your bones.
“I am off to act as a scout at the front. To make certain, the area is clear.”
Scaramouche’s eyebrow arch at that “You’re tasked with reconnaissance?”
“Not quite,” you explain, trying to overplay your irritation, but failing miserably. “I’m to remain there until the rest of the division arrives.”
Almost instantly his expression hardens, knowing the dangers and risks of that position. “Who distributed these roles? And more importantly - why have I not been informed?”
You cross your arms in front of you, suddenly feeling like you have to defend yourself in some sort. “It was a last-minute change. I was also informed just now.”
“Are they truly that incapable of decent strategizing? How utterly predictable.”
He lets out a slow, disdainful sigh before he flicks his gaze over to you. “And just so you get this straight, you will certainly not go.”
“What?”
“Are you deaf?” He scoffs and adjusts his collar, feigning nonchalance. “I will not risk my agent for some stupid reconnaissance task. You will remain at my side at the front, as it was originally planned and where your skills are suited best.”
The tone of his voice makes clear there’s no room for discussion left and yet you take a deliberate step closer to him.
“Scara,” you say, wanting to make sure no misconception remains, “this mission needs scouts to clear the area. I can manage that by myself if needed.”
“We’ll manage without scouts.” Scaramouche lets his gaze linger a moment too long, then his eyes narrow. “Or are you questioning my leadership?”
You huff. “This is ridiculous. My role isn’t that important to risk an entire mission for.”
The hardness in his eyes melts away and then he turns to the side, as if suddenly bored of the conversation.
“It is to me.”
Scaramouche keeps his gaze focused on the forest. His voice devoid of any emotion, merely an irritated frown has settled between his browns. “And now shut it, we’re heading off. I’ll handle your superior.”
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bloomzone · 3 months ago
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ALRIGHT, let’s keep it REAL for a second. You know the drill—you're on your phone, thinking, "I'll just scroll for a minute," but then one TikTok turns into 20, and before you know it, you’ve wasted an hour or two, and your to-do list is still staring at you, untouched. We’ve all been there. You didn’t even mean to procrastinate, but somehow, scrolling has become your default LIKE UR LIFE DEPENDS ON IT. Now you’re sitting there, realizing you’ve literally accomplished nothing, and you’re feeling the pressure creeping up. The guilt sets in, and suddenly the task seems way bigger than it actually is. It’s like time got stolen from you, but the problem is, you let it happen. And that’s okay—we’ve all been there, but let’s talk about how we can stop this cycle and get back on track.So how do we actually break this HABIT and get YOUR SHIT TOGETHER ? First, time-blocking is a solid strategy. HEAR ME OUT Don’t think you need to study for hours straight. Start small—set a timer for 20-30 minutes where you focus only on your homework, then take a 5-10 minute break. You’ll be surprised how much you can get done in those short bursts, and the breaks will keep you from feeling burned out. NEEEXT get your phone out of your face SERIOUSLY, put THAT SHIT it in another room or at least out of reach while you’re working the temptation to check social media is too strong, and if you don’t see it, you won’t even remember it’s there. Also, let’s be honest, a lot of us scroll because we’re avoiding something. So, try this: break your tasks into super small chunks. Instead of saying “I need to finish this whole chapter,” say “I’ll do the first page, then the next,” and slowly build from there. Turn off notifications, too. If you know a text or Instagram notification is going to pull you away from your work, MUTE THAT SHIT ! Your friends and memes can wait. And finally, remember YOUR FUCKING DREAMS UR GOAAALS LIKE GUUURL U WANT TO BE A RICH WORK FOR IIIIT ..When you're tempted to procrastinate, think about why you're putting in the work. Whether it’s to feel less stressed or to actually enjoy your weekends because you’ve gotten stuff done, reminding yourself of your end goal helps you push through the urge to scroll. So yeah, it’s not about being perfect—just about taking small steps every day. You don’t need to be working 24/7, but get focused when you need to, and trust me, you’ll see the difference !
© bᥣoom >⁠.⁠<
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creative-crybaby · 6 months ago
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Trifle
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PAIRING: Gojo Satoru x fem!reader
GENRE: crack? crack. | smut (18+)
Minors DNI
TAGS + WARNINGS: fingering, oral (m receiving), praise kink, dacryphilia (?), cum eating, squirting
Let me know if I missed anything.
WORD COUNT: 1.7k
SUMMARY: Two things can be true at the same time. Does Gojo make you want to hit him upside the head with a frying pan, should his Infinity allow it? Yes. Does he also know how to make your ovaries explode with his fingers alone? Also yes.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: Heeeeyyyy~ yes it's been several months without a fic and this comes out under 2k words buuuuuutttt~ u get bitchass!Gojo (we love him)
© creative-crybaby, do not repost or modify
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You’re going to kill him. 
He’s a walking, talking headache. Questioning your teaching methods for your students, eating your sweets even though you’ve labelled them (it’s right there!), swooping into your missions like he’s saving the day. Those are just a few of the many examples, but he does it all on purpose, you’re sure of it. 
So to be sitting between his long legs with his slender fingers knuckle-deep into your sopping cunt feels like a blow to your integrity and pride. 
Especially since he knows exactly what he’s doing.
“So,” Gojo drawls, pausing his ministrations between your trembling thighs, “how many orgasms was that?”
Your face is boiling. From rage or embarrassment, you can’t decide. “Fuck you.”
The sorcerer hums at your crude remark before slipping his digits out of your pussy, holding his hand a foot away from your face to catch your essence blanketing his skin. 
“Patience, patience.” His easy-going tone makes you want to jab your elbow into his stomach. “Jeez, someone’s eager. You finally warming up to me, Princess?”
And that damn nickname. Either Gojo genuinely doesn’t know how much you hate it, or he’s just trying to push your buttons some more. With the clueless grins he’d offer as he’d call you that, you’d assume the former. But with his explanation for calling you that being that you always stick your nose up at him, you don’t think he deserves any benefit of the doubt. 
You hate that nickname, yet you find yourself clenching around nothing just from hearing those familiar syllables. 
His first question came out like he was asking for the time, yet with the number of times he’s made you see galaxies, you ought to be grateful that his tone holds no cockiness. No, actually, you might prefer that instead—how dare he handle this victory with grace and nonchalance?
“This doesn’t even make us friends,” you manage to stammer through gritted teeth. Your glare remains on his hand, still drenched before you, though your frustration lies more down south than anywhere else. 
You can hear the taunting frown in the sorcerer’s voice. “Guess you won’t care for this anymore, then.”
His arm, responsible for putting you in your puddle-like state, slowly retracts, and you can feel the sorcerer take his time raising from his seated position. 
Now he’s finally giving you the space you always wanted from him, yet you surprise yourself by grabbing him by the wrist. You let go as soon as you recognize your action, but the deed has already been done. 
An overly enthusiastic gasp. “You do like me!”
“Oh, my God—If I say yes, will you just finish the job already?” you groan. 
Gojo plops back to his seating position behind you, nestling his chin onto your shoulder as he teases his hand to return between your thighs. His warm breath fans your cheek while his lips graze your earlobe. Miniscule actions that have your body heating up. Intentional on his part, most likely, though you refuse to give him any more ammo against you. 
A heavy sigh. The feigned disappointment in his tone has your brows furrowing so intensely that you worry you might pop a vein. 
“No gratitude for the hand that feeds you, huh?” The special-grade sorcerer nuzzles into your neck, his woe-is-me attitude soon replaced with a blinding grin and boyish giggle. “Oh, but you know I can’t be mad at you for long!”
Long and slender fingers bury themselves in your weeping cunt before you process his mood swings. A trembling moan slips from your mouth as his skilled ministrations resume, your sweet spot welcoming the familiar touch. His speed and rhythm return as if he never paused, further turning your brain to mush as your thighs tremble. Gojo chuckles childishly once more, the charming melody syncing with the embarrassingly loud squelching of your soaking pussy. 
Multiple orgasms later, and you ask for more. The heat from the situation must be melting your sense of reason because you can’t tell if you’re greedy or just plain stupid. 
“You crying?” Gojo’s voice carries its usual teasing lilt, the one he has specifically for you. You don’t even realize how the fresh tears glaze your vision—as if he didn’t already have enough fuel for the fire.
But you bite your tongue. You bite your tongue because there’s no convincing anyone that he’s crazy and seeing things and the last thing you need is for him to stall some more when you’re already sososo close to the edge.
A slight change in angle. It does the trick, his fingers still bullying that one spot while his palm brushes against your throbbing clit with just as much vigour. Your body tenses, a choked sob escaping your glossy lips as your orgasm hits you like a tsunami. Warm liquid follows soon after, the blue-eyed sorcerer’s movements refusing to halt and making lewd splashing sounds in the process. 
Even once everything simmers down, the impact decides to remain a bit longer. With a heaving chest and stuttering hips, the room stops spinning, slowly but surely.
A low whistle. “If you had to pee, you could have just said so.”
“Why are you like this?”
Gojo hums before slipping his fingers out of your pussy, earning him a slightly pained whimper from you. He stands back up as you wipe away the evidence of your crying, peering up at him when his shadow blankets you. His towering frame never fails to catch you off-guard, but what currently has your attention is the Special Grade sorcerer sucking his digits clean of your juices, a satisfied mewl coming straight from his throat.
“Welp,” he stretches his arms above his head, “we still have a bit of time left before we have that meeting with good ol’ Principal Yaga, so,” the sound of a zipper reaches your ears, and it's only a few seconds later that he pulls out his cock—long, stiff and painfully ready, “why not return the favour?” 
You’re too fucked out to argue against him. That’s the reasoning you’d think of using should he confront you about your willingness to comply. You can’t help it if you’re losing the staring contest against his cock, saliva pooling on your tongue as he taps his vermillion tip against your cheek.
Your lips part as your eyes flutter closed, unable to bear to look at the Special Grade sorcerer as you take him down your throat, inch by inch. The gagging sound that erupts from your throat halfway through makes your brows furrow, and you can only hope the man above you doesn’t comment. With clenched fists sitting on your lap, you further shield your sight with screwed-shut lids as you push yourself to take more, using your tongue for good measure.
A shuddered sigh leaves Gojo’s soft lips when you tease one of his veins. “That’s a good fuckin’ girl.”
You moan in response, feeling bold enough to create a steady pace to bob your head. Whatever you couldn’t reach, your hand took care of, a part of your brain urging you to squeeze him just a bit harder. His responses only grow louder, his groaning and panting setting your face on fire.
“You’re so good at this,” he rasps, his large hand finding the top of your head. Despite his gentle touch, you furrow your brows at the contact. “Too good…” You don’t expect him to slip himself out of your mouth, holding his base away from your mouth and making you finally look up at him. Gojo tilts his head to the side. “You’ve done this before?”
You'd have thought he was teasing if it weren’t for the pout on his lips. You look at him for a moment with an incredulous expression.
“What are you talking about?” You swat his hand out of your hair. “You seriously think being with anyone outside our line of work would be easy?” The male sorcerer’s gaze carries hope at your words, a noticeable shine in those cerulean blues that make your heart stutter. Unsure of what to do next, you continue the lost momentum by pumping his pulsing cock in your hand. “I’m stuck with you, Gojo.”
You figure his shuddered gasp is from your returning touch, especially with the combination of pinched brows, quivering lips and heavy blush on his cheeks and ears. But his large hand on top of yours–the one doing all the work–tells another story.
“You really do like me, Princess!” The sorcerer exclaims, his voice wavering halfway. 
At this point, you don’t care to dissect whether or not he’s pushing your buttons. Even at a time like this….
“I meant I’m settling for you,” you grumble, ignoring how his hand practically devours yours. You manage to retract your hold from his. “Don’t make me bite you.”
Gojo giggles at your threat, his bottom lip slipping between his teeth when you plop his dick back in your mouth. “Don’t threaten me with a good time.”
Without warning, you graze his shaft with your teeth the more you take him in your mouth. Not enough to hurt, but enough to send a message, if your irritated expression wasn’t already doing the job. 
Although, you suppose it is your fault for not taking him seriously either. Your actions earn you a whimper from the Special Grade sorcerer. Not a second later, he has his head thrown back as he pours his load down your throat. Your eyes widen at the overpowering taste, doing what you can to swallow every drop without choking. Even through his orgasm, you find yourself thinking about how he ought to cut down on the sweets. 
You’re quick to pull back for air once Gojo comes down from his high, sputtering in your hand as he sighs happily. 
“Told ya,” he muses, tucking himself back in. You wipe your mouth, glaring at him from your spot on the floor. 
“Whatever,” you grunt, putting your clothes back on before attempting to stand. If he notices your legs still wobbling, he thankfully doesn’t comment. “Let’s just hurry and get to that meeting before Yaga gets mad.”
Gojo hums with a tilt of his head as he watches you dusting off your pants.
“Oh, yeah!” He drops his fist into his palm. You throw a wary look his way when he grins. “We’ve been late this whole time, actually.”
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steveseddie · 5 months ago
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boy wonder
steddie | rating: t | wc: 999 | cw: none | tags: pre-relationship, steve and eddie recovering at the hospital together, eddie just had surgery, he’s a little high, fluff
for @steddie-spooktober day fourteen, prompt “bats”
read on ao3
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“Do you think I’ll turn into Batman?”
Steve looks up from the magazine he’s been skimming through to find Eddie peering at him from his hospital bed. 
The sight of him covered in bandages and hooked to IVs and monitors still sends a shiver down Steve’s spine. But as the days go by and Eddie keeps getting better— looking better, less and less like he’s on the brink of death— it gets easier for Steve to handle it.
He’s surprised that Eddie woke up so soon after his surgery. The doctor said it’d be a while before the drugs wore off so Steve prepared himself to sit here for hours waiting for Eddie to wake up, just like he did after his first and then his second surgery. 
But it’s been less than two hours since they rolled him back into his room and Eddie is already up, eyes half-lidded and words slightly slurred and nonsensical, but awake and alert— and waiting for Steve to reply.
“Um, come again?”
“Do you think I’ll turn into Batman?” Eddie repeats, head lolling to the side to blink at Steve. “You know, ’cause I got bit by bats.”
Normally, Steve wouldn’t argue about superheroes with a nerd like Eddie, but he’s read a few Batman comics in his life and even he knows that’s not right. 
“I’m pretty sure Batman didn’t get bit by bats, Eddie,” he says with an amused chuckle. 
“No, but Spiderman got bit by a spider,” Eddie says, wagging his finger— the one with the pulse oximeter— at Steve like what he’s saying makes perfect sense. 
To him— pumped full of some pretty hardcore drugs— it probably does.  
“Okay,” Steve says, deciding to humor him. He shifts on the chair, leaning forward so that his back isn’t pressed against anything. They cleaned his wounds and changed his bandages before he came to Eddie’s room and by now the numbing cream has started to wear off and it stings. “Well, I also got bit by bats. Does that mean I’ll become Batman too?”
Eddie’s eyebrows knit together in a cute little frown. “There can only be one Batman.”
“And why does it have to be you?”
Eddie thinks it over for a second before propping himself up in his elbows, eyes wide. “I dress in black! And I have bat tattoos!” 
“Well, I have rich parents,” Steve counters with. It’s the one thing he knows he shares with the character. 
“Well, my parents are dead!” Eddie says. It’s probably the drugs’ fault that he sounds so enthusiastic about it. “I win!”
“Fine,” Steve says, rolling his eyes half-heartedly, “I guess you can be Batman.”
Eddie grins, satisfied, flopping back against the bed, his hair fanning out against the pillow. “You can be Robin,” he tells Steve, giving him a lopsided smile. 
“Sure, Eds.”
Eddie perks up and props himself on his elbows again. “Hey, we should dress up as them for Halloween!”
Steve can’t help but make a face. “No way, man.”
“Oh, right,” Eddie says, his smile falling, “we won’t be friends anymore by then.”
Wait— what?
“What are you talking about?” Steve asks, frowning. That makes even less sense than his drug-induced Batman musings. 
“Well, you only hang out with me ’cause we’re both stuck in this hospital,” Eddie says matter-of-factly, “but once we’re out of here, you’ll have no reason to put up with me.”
Steve starts shaking his head even before he’s done talking. He knows Eddie is only saying this out loud because of the drugs but it’s something he must’ve thought about it before. It makes Steve sad to think he’s been feeling this way for the last couple of weeks and Steve didn’t know. 
“Eddie, I don’t ‘put up with you’, okay? We’re friends, I like your company. You’re like, cool and really funny,” Steve says as earnestly as he can. “And we saved the world together! That means you’re stuck with me, man.”
Eddie’s eyes grow wider as Steve talks. He blinks slowly at him as he processes the words before his lips stretch into a big grin. 
“Does that mean we can dress up together?”
Steve’s lips scrunch to the side. “Yeah, no, I’m not wearing a nerdy costume, especially one where I have to wear tights,” he says in a bitchy tone. 
“But you’d look so good in them,” Eddie insists and then leers at Steve, licking his lips before he adds in a low voice— “big boy.”
Steve’s eyes go wide, and just like the first time Eddie called him that, he blushes and forgets how to speak from how flustered he feels.
He’s lucky he’s not the one hooked to a heart monitor right now or the damn thing would’ve started beeping like crazy in time with his stuttering heartbeat. 
He’s saved from having to say anything in response to that by a doctor coming into the room at that moment to check on Eddie, distracting him and breaking the weird tension. It’s a good thing she doesn’t pay any attention to Steve or she might ask why his face is bright red. 
“Hey, Doc,” Eddie says as she checks his vitals. The doctor hums in acknowledgment. “I’m Batman.” 
“Sure you are, Mr. Munson,” she says in a bored tone but Eddie doesn’t seem to care that she acts so dismissively. 
His head lolls to the side and he gives Steve a dimpled grin. “And that’s my Boy Wonder,” he says, eyes warm and molten as they stare at him.
Steve doesn’t know why that makes his heart skip a beat or why it makes his lungs feel like they can’t draw any air in.
Or why he wants Eddie to look at him like that again so desperately that he’s genuinely considering wearing those tights on Halloween after all.
Maybe he should ask the doctor for a check-up after she’s done with Eddie, just to be safe. He thinks he might be coming down with something.
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minkieater · 5 months ago
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carousel – choi san ☄. *. ⋆
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p. choi san x fem!reader g. non idol au, college boy!san w. smut minors dni PLS, alcohol consumption, smut is kinda kinky, toxic relationship, uhh san rocks you suck an. hello please don't be mad at me this had to happen for the lore, i also had to name you, apologies, if you share a name with shawty then congrats! if you've read luck you'll see some familiar stuff here, feel free to let me know anything you pick up on heheheh but seriously pls don't be mad at me wc. 10.7k
♫ – tear you apart, she wants revenge “it's only just a crush, it'll go away, it's just like all the others it'll go away or maybe this is danger and he just don't know”
cycle (sī-kel) noun a course or series of events or operations that recur regularly and usually lead back to the starting point
choi san regularly bounced between two moods. 
the first being a state of contentment, the second being complete and utter destruction. when he was content, the two of you were usually on good terms, and he felt good enough that he could keep his life on track. he could get his work done, he could go to classes, he could socialize with his peers with a smile on his face. 
when that peace was disturbed, more often than not by you, he was an absolute train wreck. all he could think about was you you you and when the two of you would fix things, if the two of you were really done this time, if he could reconcile the situation. sitting in class, remembering choreography at practice, being behind the bar at work… he couldn’t do a damn thing right. it wouldn’t be surprising if he forgot his own name when you were on bad terms. 
san has never been a fighter. when arguments arise he’s usually never the one that starts them, he’s the one begging to end them, opting for a peaceful compromise instead. despite the way he looks, san is a softie, something that took you by surprise and kept you by his side for almost a year.
you know him. you know his favorite color, his favorite show, his favorite album, his parents’ names, where he grew up, why he’s in school, who’s putting him through school, his biggest fear, his dream in life. you see how he looks at you, how he drops everything for you in a second, how he talks about you when you aren’t around to defend yourself. you know him better than you know yourself sometimes — you’ve been two peas in a pod since the beginning of your sophomore year, but yet the same question remains. one he’s asked you hundreds of times, one you could never find an answer to without breaking his heart. 
so instead you pick fights, argue to your heart’s content, damn near terrorize him on the regular just for the same fact to be true: choi san also knows everything about you. 
he knows exactly why you aren’t together, why you beat around the bush every time he asks you that same question, the sole reason why you freak the fuck out every time he asks you to give him just a little bit more. choi san knows very well that his love is unrequited, and he understands even the things you won’t tell him. he knows who you really love, he knows you’ve loved him since the summer before your freshman year, when you met at that concert. he notices when your eyes are the brightest, who you’re looking at when he wished you were looking at him, when you laugh the loudest. he notices everything.
if he’s anything, it’s observant. he’s been hanging out with you and your friends since way before he was your little secret, he’s been on your friends’ rooftop for parties more times than he can count. the first time the two of you slept together he couldn’t believe it was actually happening, the second you looked at him with lowered eyes and glossy lips he thought his eyes had been deceiving him for months prior. you looked at him like he was your last meal, your prey that you caught with your bare hands, you needed to have him or you’d die of starvation. he let you take the reins, took it all in with open arms, he wasn’t going to question a thing. for how long you had been obsessed with chan, he’d been obsessed with you. 
you’d met early in your freshman year, when chan had first gotten his apartment shared with three others, when they first started throwing their legendary parties that had been the talk of campus for ages to follow. san had gotten the invite through wooyoung, his best friend, whose close friend has dated chan’s roommate since freshman year. the moment he first saw you was nothing short of a movie scene, you were on the dance floor, definitely one too many drinks deep. you were dancing with felix, holding his hand, twirling your hair as he spun you in a circle. your smile, your eyes that were shut so delicately, your body that moved with such a fluidity, you were the embodiment of freedom. you looked like you couldn’t care less about anything, like the moon went down and the sun came up just so you could breathe another day. the world revolved around you. it was like everything he had ever done in his life leading up to this moment, each decision he made was to get him on this rooftop at this moment in the middle of soho. 
san had a few drinks himself and found himself on the dance floor right beside you. minho was with him, a close friend from his dance class, and then felix beside you. he couldn’t help but steal you for himself. he brought out the dancer inside of him but still followed your lead, spun you himself just as felix had, let your backside dance across his front one too many times for comfort. you picked up on how he was holding back, letting himself match you instead of taking the lead, and you couldn’t ignore how it sparked your interest. anyone besides felix that wasn’t in your group of close friends would be mindlessly grinding against you with an eyebrow raised and a smirk, but not him. 
for a moment you let yourself think the bar is deep in hell, then you introduced yourself (more like screamed your name at him) over the pounding music that could be heard two blocks down. the first thing you noticed were his broad shoulders before you took in the rest of his clearly strong build. complex, fox-like eyes that held too much power in them and a sweet smile that contrasted his hard demeanor, it all vexed you, but intrigued you so much more. 
out of everything, his hands give you the most whiplash. where they were long and limber they felt soft and warm, even the calluses on his palms somehow felt softer than every man you’ve ever come in contact with. compared to his chest which felt hard and strong, the contradicting features forced your mind straight in the gutter. there’s no doubt he’s beautiful, anyone could see that from first glance, but in that deep, hypnotizing voice he has, you could hear what kept itself hidden. it was a facade, that build and sexy voice, you could tell just from a few words that he’s not what he appears to be. 
at first glance you’d assume he was just like any typical guy, buff and egotistical and harsh. but looking for a moment in those eyes, listening to that soft voice, you could hear what he wasn’t saying, like his thoughts were being displayed for you on a silver platter. they enticed you to dig deeper, peel him open layer by layer, find out what no one else knows. beyond warm hands and a sturdy build, there was a softness to him that wasn’t inside of any other man on that rooftop. except one other. 
by the end of the night, minho had led san to the notorious smoking corner, where he’d come to learn the same people tend to gather and hangout towards the end of the night. thankfully, one of those people was you, and the rest of your little group of friends that he’d later come more than acquainted with. none of you really smoke, which was the weird part, the smokers would come and go around your seating area, but it was still named the smoking corner despite it. 
“you said your name was san, right?” you asked, an inviting smile on your face as he sat down right next to you on one of the cushioned chairs. it happened to be the only one open and had him thanking a god he didn’t believe in for the small favor. 
he nodded quickly, tight lipped smile on his face, dimples on display. even with the liquor he was nervous, he wasn’t one to spark up conversation, especially at a party like this. “you’re a dancer?”
“how’d you know?” your smile somehow got bigger, eyes widening with surprise, “i’ve danced my whole life.”
he shrugs, “one dancer to another.”
“you go to NYU?” you asked, turning your body to face him in your own chair.
“dance program, i’m in the same hip hop class as minho,” he pointed to minho who was standing somewhere to the side of the two of you. 
“ah,” you nod with a smile, “that makes sense, i’m in the theater program, i originally wanted to be in the dance program, though.”
“hey guys,” the two of you looked up at the same time, another pair of broad shoulders, massive biceps, and a beautiful smile staring straight at you. you could feel your heart rate pick up, your breath get caught in your throat, a heat cascading over you like the rooftop had suddenly raised fifteen degrees. 
san could feel his smile leave his face as he watched the scene unfold in front of him. the way your eyes lit up, the pink that raised to your cheeks, how you slightly stumbled over your words when you first spoke to him, he tried not to let his expression drop to a scowl. he knows you like him, maybe even love him, he couldn’t decide from the short interaction between the three of you. not that he wanted to know, anyways. 
san decided then and there that chan was his enemy, a one sided war he was willing to put up the good fight for. from a quick dance and a conversation, he had decided you were worth the fight, you were worth the long game, you were worth whatever it took to get you. he thinks it shouldn’t be too hard to win you over, with some effort and consistency, he should be the one you look at the way he desperately wants you to in no time. he knew he was good looking, he sees how women fawn over him left and right at parties, only sometimes letting them get any further then silly attempts to take him home. that ping of jealousy only jumpstarts his motivation, begs him to tap into whatever is making these women throw themselves at him.  
five parties and three months later, you made him feel like he was in the lead. small conversations here and there, longer dances that with each party turned more and more scandalous, once or twice you clearly felt him behind you on the dance floor and you didn’t pull away, you kept going until you made it so evident he couldn’t hide it in his jeans. moments of hands brushing and stolen glances across the smoking corner, he waited long enough, but he’d wait however long it took for you.
the night when you gave him that look that he knew meant you were taking him home, he couldn’t contain his excitement, he couldn’t hide anything from you already. you could see it all over his face, he could tell from the smirk you wore on your own lips and the cocky laugh you let out. you were playing with fire, and his specialty was water.
you knew he wanted you from the first time you met. whether he knew it about himself or not, despite his easygoing words and soft hands, you knew there was a side to him you desperately needed to unveil, you needed to experience, you needed to know like the back of your hand. it felt like tainting his innocence the more you got to know him, his personality reflected the opposite of what he portrayed on the outside. from that hard, chiseled look he has to the soft, tender persona, you wanted to tear him apart. you wanted to know what made him tick, what pissed him off, what got under his skin, how he acted when it did. 
you had him exactly where you wanted him, and he was letting it happen, fully aware of the attraction that was finally being returned. you looked at him differently that night, and unbeknownst to him, it was deliberate.
chan was out of sight, off with some dark haired girl he met hours prior. you watched the scene unfold in front of you, from when they exchanged names and phone numbers down to the moment when chan took her hand and led her inside his apartment. you watched them over heads through the dance floor, keeping your vision focused on the two of them like some fucked up form of tunnel vision. like what they say about trainwrecks, you should look away, but for some reason you can’t. your skin was burning, you were beyond angry, feeling an emotion that laid somewhere outside of what you’d ever experienced toward him. betrayal? abandonment? treachery?
none of your feelings were valid, chan had no idea how you felt, you never told him. he was more than allowed to take whatever dark haired bitch he wanted into his own damn apartment that seungmin’s dad pays for, that’s more than permissible. you have an apartment too, one that you and your roommate pay for yourselves, one that you could also take someone back to. your life didn’t revolve around him, his actions would not determine how your night would go, despite the feelings you have for him.
that’s when choi san caught your eye, across the crowd with his gorgeous face and incredible body. you felt the light bulb flash above your head, you knew exactly what would take the edge off, what would mend the heart chan had just broken in two. 
“you know, we always hangout here, but we never see each other outside of these parties,” you flipped your hair over your shoulder, looking up at him through your eyelashes. 
“never thought you wanted to,” he shrugs, lowered eyes watching your every move like he was waiting for the switch to flip.
“and why wouldn’t i want to? have you looked in a mirror recently?” it felt lame when it left your mouth, he didn’t seem to agree as a faint blush crept onto his cheeks. he turned away from you, a low chuckle leaving his lips.
“every morning at the gym, gotta make sure my form is right,” his shy smile turned into a faint smirk, and your own grows, hints of mischief creeping at the corners. you knew exactly what he was doing, mentioning the gym. like a moth to a flame, your eyes glazed over his biceps, which he flexed the moment your eyes left his. 
“every morning? very disciplined, aren’t you?” you ask, smile turning lopsided and nothing short of flirty. 
“very,” he nodded his head, “you should come with me sometime, get you some discipline, too.”
“and what about me makes you think i’m not disciplined?” your eyebrows furrow, tilting your head.
with that question his smile grows, dimples showing themselves once more. “brats always need discipline, and that’s exactly what you are. a little tease.”
your smile displays all of your teeth, exactly the answer you were hoping for. the side you knew he had in him, that version of him not many get to see, excitement flooded through you like a tidal wave. you were on a power trip, your plan worked with ease, you wanted to pat yourself on the back. 
“do something about it,” you sipped your drink through your tiny straw, staring at him through your lashes once again. 
within thirty minutes you were back at your place in manhattan, your roommate still at the party, you didn’t even let her know you left. in that one conversation you’d forgotten all about chan, the girl with the dark hair, and why you were in this situation in the first place. all you could think about was san, with his dark chocolate eyes and honeyed skin and arms strong enough to flip you around. you were overflowing with adrenaline, excitement, and greed. you wanted all of him, needed all of him, a need that has been lying dormant for months. you’d been curious about him, wanted to know what he kept hidden inside, too focused on chan to dig deeper into him.
san couldn’t fucking believe it. couldn’t believe he was in your bed, your walls that were covered in posters of rock bands and singers from the 80s, some faces he’s seen before and plenty of others he hasn’t. records cover one wall, soundtracks from different musicals, little trinkets filling every inch of open space on your bookshelves. your room was so undeniably you, from the smell to the color scheme, he took every inch of it and burned it to memory. he tried not to stare too much in his learning, telling himself to focus on you instead, he’d he back, this isn’t a one time thing. he couldn’t be more right. 
the moment his lips touched yours he couldn’t believe he’d gone so long without tasting you. a kiss so sweet, so rushed, so hungry, he’d never felt anything like it. he knew you'd wreck him, become too important to him, become a valued person in his life, for a moment he thought maybe he should stop – this was all too good to be true. 
when you whimpered in his mouth after a light grind to his crotch, he took all of his thoughts back. there was no stopping this, no hands could pry him off of you, he needed to see every bit of you. he needed to kiss every inch of your skin, inhale the scent of your sweat, he yearned to worship you. he wanted all of you, he needed to rein himself in, not get too excited so he could last. 
you fought for dominance on his lap, tongues in a rushed wrestle, strong thighs wrapped around his hips. as those soft hands of his squeezed the fat of your ass, you let out a yelp, grinding yourself into him. you wanted to hear any kind of noise, any harsh breath he might release. you wanted control, he didn’t want to give it up, at least not without a fight.
he scooped your waist with one arm, flipping you over, pressing you flat against the mattress. you mustered out a hushed fuck as the realization finally hit you: his biceps aren’t just for aesthetics, the sheer strength of one is enough to throw you around, and it’s strength he will use to his advantage. 
“as much as i want to be thrown around,” you broke the kiss for a moment, “save it for the next time.”
you wrapped your legs around his waist and lunged yourself forward with your hands, hips on top of his once more, your bodies sitting upright. as much as you wanted to revel in the gain of dominance, you knew he just willingly allowed you to do that, he could’ve stopped you with ease if he wanted to.
“see what i mean? brat,” he broke the kiss again with a huff, a smirk painting his own lips for a moment before returning them to yours. 
your right hand moved up to grip his throat, pushing him an inch away from you. on his lap you were taller, staring down at him, he looked up at you with a spark in his eyes you haven't seen yet. his eyebrows furrowed, not in confusion or hurt, but want. need. he liked this, he wanted this, and you couldn’t help the wicked smile that touched every feature on your face. 
“watch your mouth,” you tilted your chin up, looking down at him at a harsher angle, the act itself a display of dominance. in combination with the harsh tone to your words, he nearly quivered in your grasp. a strangled groan left his lips as your grip tightened for a moment, blocking his airway, before releasing him completely. you reached for the hem of his shirt, ripping it over his head with ease. 
“look at you, so fucking sexy,” you said as the cotton hit the floor, examining his exposed upper half in awe. chiseled abs, even sitting down, and a chest you’re sure could knock you out if it came in contact with your head. he was beautiful, perfect even, not an inch of him unsculpted. 
his breath turned heavy under your stare, eyes lowering into a different version of himself, a submission of sorts. he had no fight left in them, he gave up control, let you take it, and you were going to run with it. 
you brought your lips to his jaw, kissing down his neck, hands running over every inch of bare skin. he tugged at your top at the same time, tugging it over your head, unclasping your bra with just one hand. 
“done that before?” you asked with raised eyebrows and a playful smile, and he chuckled. 
“once or twice,” his reply was mindless as you fumbled with his belt buckle beneath you, slipping it out of the loops, throwing it to the floor. 
“hungry?” you asked and his eyes quickly met yours, confusion crossing them before realization set in. you didn’t wait for an answer as you pushed him back on the bed with your index finger to his chest, not having to muster up any force at all. 
you quickly sat up and slipped off your jeans and underwear, leaving yourself bare in front of him. he leaned up on his elbows for just a moment before you crawled back on top of him, further up his body until you sat right over his face. 
“no touching unless i tell you to,” your voice was stern, he nodded in understanding and you took that as the green light to plant yourself on his awaiting face. 
you moaned the moment his tongue came in contact with your soaked center, lapping up everything you had to offer. you stilled for a moment, letting him work himself on you, his tongue gliding through your wetness. 
“fuck, sannie, so fucking good,” you moaned out, a hand reaching down to tug at his styled black hair. he groaned in response, hands lifting off of the bed, but they didn’t touch you, didn’t even come close. 
you started riding his face and he stuck his tongue out in response to your movements, letting you have your way with him, grinding back and forth to use him for your own release. if you weren’t gone in your own pleasure you would’ve smiled at the eagerness, the willingness to please you. 
“fingers, please baby,” you gasped out, babbling your words, “need you to make me cum. you wanna make me cum, don’t you? all over your face?” 
his right hand came between your legs to slip two fingers inside of you, mouth moving up to your clit, wrapping his lips around the bundle of nerves. he curved his fingers toward himself immediately, hitting that one spot inside of you that made you see stars, you started babbling and whining praise like you’d been doing this together for years. 
“so fucking good sannie, fuck,” you cried out, grinding yourself against him, the knot in your stomach tightening with every harsh suck to your clit. he brought his other hand up to smack your ass and you moaned out, the dam bursting, your release coating his fingers, past his knuckles. you rode out your high, his fingers and mouth working in tandem to get you through it before overstimulation set in. 
“mm, taste so fucking good baby, could eat you all night,” he announced the second you lifted yourself off of him, his voice octaves lower than earlier. you watched as he licked his lips so erotically, the action making you want to sit yourself back on his face and ride him until he couldn’t breathe. 
you sat next to him on the bed after climbing off of him instead, your orgasm took the need for control right out of you, you had your fill. you wanted to be taken care of, filled up, you didn’t want to think about anything other than your own pleasure. always observant san picked up in your change of energy, letting his own switch to another before continuing. 
“need to be inside you,” he said as he sat up, taking his jeans and boxers off in one go, “you have a condom?” 
you shimmied yourself down the bed, head hitting the pillow before you shook it, “‘m on the pill.” 
“dirty girl, where did that energy from earlier go? hm?” that dangerous smirk returned to his face, his dominance returning in just one sentence, “did i eat it all out of you? wanna be a good girl for me now?” 
he leaned himself over you, strong arms beside your head caging you in. you lifted your knees up to your elbows, spreading yourself for him.
“shut up,” you mumbled, feeling the tinge of embarrassment, “fuck me already.” 
“that wasn’t very polite, thought you were ready to behave,” he shook his head, “only girls with manners get fucked. should i put my pants back on, go back home?” 
“no! no, don’t go,” your arms came up to grab onto his, your eyes widening, “i’m sorry, i’ll be good. please, san, i need you.” 
a wicked smile crossed his face before he leaned down to plant a kiss on your own, “good, i hoped so. breathe for me, okay?”
you glanced down between your legs, realizing you hadn’t even seen him. you nearly gasped at the size of him, eyes widening, his length was perfect but the girth of him was more than intimidating. he spit into his hand, stroking himself, lubing himself up to slide into you easier. you nearly drooled at the sight, mouth agape, pussy clenching around nothing.
the whole act felt so sinful, so carnal, you so easily opened up to him with a side of yourself you don’t show until you’re fully comfortable. you blame your adrenaline, your hormones, how horny you were when you arrived, ignoring the real fact of how comfortable he made you feel to show so much of yourself to him. 
as he lined himself up you couldn’t ignore how it all felt right, you’ve had undeniable attraction to him for months now, but this… this was something entirely different. this was a beginning, the prologue chapter of a novel, the first episode to seasons spent with him. when he pushed himself into you and you had to physically remind yourself to breathe, you had to acknowledge that he fit so perfectly with you, his body felt like it was meant to be above yours. these weren’t feelings of a quick fuck, feelings from a one night stand, this was raw, intimate, unique. special. 
“so fucking big,” you huffed out, voice strained, eyes squeezed shut, fingers clawing at his biceps. 
“breathe, baby, you got it,” he praised you, encouraged you, and it did what it needed to. you breathed in and out, let him sheathe himself inside of you. as he bottomed out he groaned, a beautiful noise, one that could lure you to sleep if you heard it enough. he stayed there for a moment, letting you get used to the stretch, letting you relax around him. 
“so fuckin’ tight, baby, breathe,” he instructed, leaning down on his elbows to kiss you, distract you, take your mind off of the stretch. you tried your best to relax your muscles, unclench yourself from around him. 
“there you go,” his praises were a sweet song, easing you out of discomfort, “tell me when i can move.” 
you waited a few moments, returning your lips to his before grinding yourself against him. you felt your slick coating him, helping you glide up and down, and he let you for a moment — just a moment before he knew for sure you were comfortable. 
he pulled all the way out before bottoming out once more, and you yelped into his mouth, breaking the kiss to let your head lean back into the pillow.
“there it is, there we fucking go,” he mumbled as he started on a rhythm, “good fucking girl.” 
a string of moans left your lips, your hands still clawing at his biceps, body reacting to him without your brain allowing it. “so fucking good sannie.”
“thought you were so fucking badass earlier, huh? ordering me around like i’m your bitch?” that smirk returned to his lips again and all you could do was moan, staring at him through half lidded eyes, “look at you now, baby. all lifeless and limp, all for this dick?” 
“yes, san, all for you. just for you,” you mumble, words jumbling together, not knowing if your words even sounded clear. 
“yeah, baby, just as i thought, all for me,” he pistols himself into you, grabbing your hips, making you meet his thrusts. you were losing your strength, letting him have his way with you, just an incoherent mess beneath him. 
he reaches forward and grabs your jaw, “don’t go anywhere, eyes on me.”
you look up to him, eyes wide, that fuzzy space you were slipping into locked away for now, “you can go there eventually, not yet, not this time.” 
your eyes started to roll back as he shifted his hips upward, the mushroom tip of him rolling against that one spot so deliciously. with how quickly that knot formed once more in your stomach, you were surprised that drool wasn’t slipping down your chin. 
“right there, please don’t stop, gonna make me cum,” you can’t even hear yourself, so drunk on his dick, his assertiveness, you loved it. you’d never had your energy matched like this, never had a fuck like this, never had someone know you so quickly and easily. 
“hold it,” he ordered, and your eyes nearly bulged out of your head. how could he expect you to hold it, when he was hitting that spot too perfectly, doing everything in his power to get you there?
“i swear, do not fucking cum,” he smacked your hip and tears formed in your eyes trying to hold it, fighting every nerve in your body to not release around him. 
“i can’t! i can’t,” you babble, tears falling down your cheeks, and he released a long fuck, his voice dropping even lower. 
“cum for me, want you to cum around me, please,” his orders turned to begs quickly after he saw your tears. he leaned forward to wipe them off your face, bringing his fingers up to his lips. the string snapped and you gushed around him, legs shaking, a loud cry leaving your lips, probably heard in queens from the sheer volume of it. 
“where do you want me?” he quickly asked, his own words sounding shaky, slurring together. 
“inside, inside,” you begged, reaching up to cup his cheeks. he leaned down to kiss you as he released himself inside you, filling you up, thrusts slowing as he worked himself through it. 
he stayed there for a moment, forehead pressed against yours, heavy breaths being poured into each other’s mouths. he sighed as his forearms began to shake, finally pulling out of you, laying next to you.
“you okay?” he turned his head at the same time as you turned yours, eyes sharing too much of something yet saying nothing of it.
“‘m great, you?” you cracked a smile, the both of you still somewhere that wasn’t here, slowly coming back from two completely different headspaces. he nodded, returning the smile, and the two of you laid there for what felt like ages. 
sleeping with san was something outside of anything you’ve ever done. you’d slept with plenty of people, had plenty of experiences, explored what you liked and didn’t through many trials and errors. to have such an incredible first experience with someone, to have it flow so easily, to match each other so perfectly… it was almost unbelievable, it set unrealistic expectations for anyone you’d ever sleep with again. 
you needed him that night, needed that experience, needed whatever was going to distract you from whatever the hell chan was doing – and it worked. you needed that distraction for months to follow as chan continued to see the dark haired girl, who’s name you came to find out was eden, always hanging around on the rooftop, following him wherever he went. like a roach, never wanted, yet never went away. 
months you spent cooped up in your room, anger flowing through your blood as you watched his instagram stories, cute pictures of her posted every day. posed pictures together in times square, clubs on the weekends, clips of them getting drinks together on a random weekday afternoon. you couldn’t help but pick everything apart – what they were doing was touristy, corny, nothing you would do with him, nothing you would enjoy. you knew chan didn’t enjoy any of that, either. 
every time you pictured dates with him or fantasized about any time spent with him alone was always private, intimate, enriching – you’d be painting together, drinking wine in your living room as you played your favorite board game, watching a tv show from start to finish together. you were in the same major, maybe even studying together, bouncing ideas off of one another for assignments or projects, but nothing so flashy. chan hates time square, hates drinking in the middle of the day, and especially hates clubs unless there was a special occasion. you knew all of these things, you knew him, you felt the same way as him. yet he was still doing all of those things with her, playing in her garden, wasting his time when he should be focused on school, his career, his future, you.
in those months there was only one thing that could make you forget about chan, forget about eden, forget about the situation altogether. during class you were frustrated, in auditions, rehearsals, you couldn’t even study without the tv on and music playing simultaneously. if you had a singular moment of silence your brain took you back to him, took you back to what you could’ve had, what you never tried for in the first place. it was debilitating not being able to get anything done, being so one track minded, the only thing that could make you focus was san. you’d text him daily, always asking him to come over, always ending the night between his thighs. 
he always came, he always said yes, he never once said no to you. he didn’t ask any questions, didn’t make you explain your frustrations, only listened when you did speak about trivial things like school or rehearsal. you didn’t want his opinion, didn’t want his advice, only his company and the pleasure he never had any difficulty in giving you. it was perfect for those months, in your own world, the sanctuary you created in your bedroom with choi san. 
the moment when your relationship changed, you didn’t notice. there was no light bulb, no moment where you consciously started looking at him differently, yet it changed without your knowing or consent. you didn’t acknowledge it when you did notice, you didn’t want to, your heart was saved for another. yet you still talked about everything together, did all of those little things you dreamed of doing with chan. your fears, your dreams, your childhood, your favorite things, you began to know him so intimately without being aware of it. you watched grey’s anatomy with him, you played video games, you drew funky little doodles of each other on your notebooks. 
you started to crave him when he wasn’t around, and not just because he was your distraction, but a friend. he was good for you, he encouraged you to be consistent with school, you practiced lines with him, sang duets from different musicals with him. your relationship was raw, it was truth, it was naked, it was everything you wished for, it was everything you needed at that time. 
san fell for you. he fell so fucking hard, so headfirst, it was a bottomless pit with no end in sight and he couldn’t stop himself from digging further. everything he saw in you that first night was still there, only amplified into something he couldn’t hide anymore. he was at your beck and call, anything you needed, any time of day. he knew why you were so attached to him, he figured it out the second he went to the rooftop with wooyoung again, high off of his night spent with you, ready to see you again. when you were nowhere to be seen and he caught chan with his arm around the girl from his contemporary class, he put the pieces together quick. he knew you must be heartbroken, knew you needed support, a friend who knew nothing about the situation. it quickly made him realize his place in your relationship. 
he fought through the horrific realization with optimism, the returning thought that with time you’d see, you’d realize he was better for you than chan could ever be. as he spent more time with you and got to know you better, it only made his feelings deepen. your laugh, your thoughts, your competitive side, the way you’re so quick to fight back and assert your dominance, but give it up even faster… it was like an addiction, it wasn’t good for him, he knew it wasn’t, he knew it when his grades first started to slip. when he wasn’t on point at practice, too sleep deprived to remember choreography. minho read it all over him, knew something was wrong, knew san had gotten into something he shouldn’t have. 
“what’s up with you, man? this isn’t like you,” it was a rough practice that day. san was sat on the floor with his knees hugged tight to his chest, rubbing his eyes to force the exhaustion out of them. 
“just an off day,” is all san mumbled before he stood up slowly, grabbing his bag to sling over his shoulder.
“off day? you’ve been fucking up for the past week, san, you’re center,” minho put his hand on san’s shoulder, stopping him before he walked away, “they’re gonna put someone else there if you don’t get your shit together.”
“i get it, minho,” san turned his back, and minho’s grip only got tighter.
“what the hell is going on?” he asked, turning san to face him, “you can talk to me, we’re friends, you know.”
san’s hand returned to his face, trying to rub off his discomfort, this feeling that he should keep everything to himself, “it’s a lot.”
“is it a girl?” minho was quick with the question, eyes lowered, seeming to read san before he could get any words out. he started to walk, keeping his hand on san’s shoulder, encouraging him to walk alongside him. 
san answered with a coy nod, the answer seeming too taboo to say out loud. minho was a direct link to chan, he should be happy to talk about the fact that you were sleeping together. what he couldn’t shake off was the fear that you’d be angry at him for telling anyone. 
“did you get her pregnant or something?” humor was laced in minho’s tone, trying to ease up the straightforwardness of the question, but he was genuinely worried by how san had been acting.
san gasped, “preg- no! god, no,” he shook his head, “i hope not.”
minho laughed, “that doesn’t sound convincing. if she’s not pregnant then there’s no reason to be so torn up, why are you?”
they walked out of the building into the wet humidity of the city air, “like i said, it’s a lot. it’s my fault, though.”
“quit beating around the bush and tell me,” minho stood still, staring at san expectantly, “you can trust me.”
“if i’m going to tell you, i need a beer.”
an hour later they were seated at prince, not a popular dive bar in the city, but popular amongst your group of friends and whoever they introduced to it. san nursed his beer, barely getting two sips in before he was spilling everything about the last six months to one of his best friends. 
“i can’t wrap my head around why you keep fucking her if she loves another guy,” minho shrugs, “especially chan, at that. she’s been close with him since he moved to the city.”
“it’s not about fucking her,” san sighed, “i’m in too deep, i think i love her. even if i didn’t, and it was just about sex, it’s too good to stop.”
minho’s jaw physically drops, mouth hanging agape for a moment before he snaps it shut, straightening his left hand to start counting on his fingers, “so you love her, she doesn't know you love her, she loves someone else who’s in a relationship, and you spend every free moment with her. and you have so much sex you don’t sleep.”
san’s lips pull into a tight line, giving minho one long nod in response.
“there’s no way she doesn’t love you back if you’ve spent that much time together in six months, i can’t believe you kept all of this shit hidden for so long. you need to talk shit out, man.”
it was music to his ears, san’s entire body filled with a joy he’d never felt before when no way she doesn’t love you back left minho’s lips. he felt like he was putting a puzzle together in his brain, that actually made perfect sense, how could you not return anything he felt for you? you also experienced all your time together, got just as close to him as he did you. 
he barely gave minho another half hour before he was barreling out of prince and on his way to your apartment. 
“hey baby, how was practi-”
“i need to ask you a question.”
your head whipped to your front door, never hearing san sound so desperate outside of the bedroom. his eyes were blown, his eyebrows raised, fully out of breath from running up the flights of steps to your apartment. your blood ran cold, you knew this question was coming eventually, you were savoring every moment he didn't ask it. you stood slowly, facing him from the couch, eyes expectant.
“i’ll give you an answer,” you replied casually, keeping your voice steady. 
“do you want to be with me?” his words felt empty, as if he wasn’t sure if he wanted to say them, yet he still sounded like he’d been dying to ask the question for months. he didn’t blink, kept his shoulders back, dance bag dangling from his fingertips.
“san,” you said calmly, taking a step towards him. 
“i don’t want to freak you out, please don’t freak out, it’s just been six months and i really enjoy you and your company and i love being around you, i love spending nights with you, the sex is incredible, everything just seems right,” a smile graces his lips with a pause. when you stared back at him in disbelief he panicked, his heart in his throat, “i’m sorry if i freaked you out, this is too much, isn’t it?” 
you took a breath, closing your eyes for a moment. the day you’d been dreading had come – the end of a perfect half year. 
“i can’t be in a relationship right now,” you blurt the first thing that came to mind, and his face dropped immediately. “i enjoy you, i love our time spent together, i love that you’re around all the time, you’ve been a huge help to me these past six months. i couldn’t of done it without you.”
you’ve been told these words before, you’ve been in his position before, you’re spouting the same venom that’s been thrown at you. you felt  as if you were shoved in a corner, not fully believing your own words, but you needed an excuse more than you wanted to say the truth. 
a sad smile crosses his face, “i get it.”
“i don’t want to stop whatever this is,” you walk closer to him, grabbing his hand, “and it could grow into something really great. i’m just not in a position to open my heart to anyone right now.” 
“i know, baby. the last six months have been rough on you,” his heart melted, even if he knew the reason why, he also knew that it really did hurt you. you needed time to heal, time to focus on yourself, time to get back into the dating scene. he’d be there, first in line when you were ready. 
“i knew you’d understand, thank you,” you stood on your toes, attaching your lips to his. ten minutes later you were on your knees, right back to normal like that conversation didn’t even happen. 
in just two weeks you’d started going out more regularly again, meeting your friends at prince, going to chan’s rooftop whenever felix told you to come. your friends that noticed, despite you keeping your appearances up, asked where you’d been, why you’re back, and you gave them the sophomore year bullshit of classes were hard and summer is here again! at your age, parties were a dime a dozen, you had plenty of excuses to be out of the house and away from your issues, stopping reality from hitting you that you were playing with fire once again.
you did have feelings for san, even if it was your own fucked up version. there was no way you couldn’t with how much time you spent together, how much you know about him, how much you care for him. but the other problem that you will never forget is still there, staring at you from across his own rooftop. 
you care for san, but the love you feel for bang christopher chan is so much fucking more.
“hey! i feel like i haven’t seen you in ages!” his smile is huge as he crosses the crowd, clinking his drink with your own. you blushed, that was basically him saying i missed you. 
“same here, how’s everything been? happy classes are over?” you asked, gripping your drink a little tighter. 
“incredibly happy classes are over, even happier this terrible fucking year is over,” he chuckled, “me and eden broke up, i don’t know if you heard. she cheated on me with some columbia architect, whatever.”
broke up? he’s… single again?
your jaw dropped, and you fought to keep the excitement to a minimum, “no, i didn’t know, i’m so sorry, channie. fuck her and that architect!”
he laughed again, a belly laugh that made you want to jump his bones, “what about you, though? seeing anyone?”
his question took you by surprise, “i- uh, no, i’m not,” your giggle was nervous, wanting to change the subject immediately. san crossed your mind, a thought you quickly shut down.
“you’re never seeing anyone, dude, we have to set you up with somebody, can’t go through your whole college experience without a shitty boyfriend or two,” it was a joke, a bad one, but it still made heat rise to your whole upper half. why was he asking? he’s never asked about your love life before. 
“i’m good off a shitty boyfriend, i’d rather be alone if that’s the case,” you shake your head, then sip through your tiny straw. 
“suit yourself,” he palmed your shoulder with a hand that completely enveloped it, and you felt the skin underneath burn. 
you felt eyes boring into your head from behind you, and you quickly turned, scanning the area. you saw your roommate and her boyfriend in the smoking corner, minho and han, then san, who was leaning against the concrete of the wall separating the rooftop from the drop to the ground below. like a hawk, he watched you through lowered eyes, taking in every move. you quickly turned back around, expecting chan to still be there, but he was gone, probably off being a good host to his party. you wiped the chill off of you, finishing off your drink, dismissing the guilty feeling creeping up your spine because chan is single again. determination washes over you, this time you’d be hell bent upon telling him how you feel, finally getting your chance to be with him. it was your turn this time. 
san was beyond frustrated. watching you talk to chan after all of these months, even from afar, picking up your body language, he was sick to his stomach. the way you shifted from foot to foot, unconsciously leaned into his touch, flipped your hair behind your back to show off your décolletage, san could pick up on exactly what you were thinking and he hated it. 
san wasn’t in the lead, he was forever the number two, your favorite best kept hidden secret. he was sick of it, sick of being with you behind closed doors, sick of dropping everything for you, sick of being under your spell. he knew his place, knew it enough to where he didn’t even approach you on the rooftop. he knew there would be a call, a text, a fucking messenger pigeon that would get him in your bed tonight, he was sure of it. when chan went back inside the apartment for the night and didn’t have a soul beside him, he knew exactly how the outcome of the night would go, and he was excited for it. 
as san slammed your apartment door shut behind him, you jumped nearly a foot in the air, turning to furrow your eyebrows. the two of you ended up leaving together, an outcome that wasn’t on his list of possibilities – no messenger pigeon needed. he was surprised, he didn’t think you’d even want to be seen getting in the same car as him. 
“what was that for?” the slam startled you, it was unlike him, he was delicate with everything he did.
“i’m sick of this, ri,” he shook his head, standing by the entrance to your kitchen, not following you into the living room. your stomach dropped, you should’ve seen this coming.
“what do you mean?” you opted for obliviousness after a pause, unsure of how to go about this conversation again after your last one was just two weeks ago. 
“i’m sick of being your secret, whatever the hell i am to you,” he ran a hand through his hair, “actually, that’s a good question. what am i to you, riley?”
you gulped, your eyes widening, coming to yet another moment of silence. you didn’t know how to answer, didn’t know how to tell him what you didn’t know yourself. 
“you don’t know? or you know and can’t say it?” he understands your silence, using his hands as he speaks, “tell me the truth.”
“i don’t know, san, a friend?” your voice is unsure, small. you wanted to shrink yourself, wanted to be anywhere but here, having this conversation. this is the first time you’ve seen this side of him, you and san had never argued before, the last time you had this talk it didn’t have any anger or frustration. 
“a friend? i’m a friend?” he laughs, a sarcastic chuckle that you’ve never heard leave his lips. you must’ve gotten away with it two weeks ago, this was really the end, there was only one way this talk could go. “a friend that knows every inch of you, a friend that’s spent more time here the past six months than the apartment they still pay rent at? that’s a fucking joke, riley.”
tears gathered in your eyes, ones that you weren’t exactly sure why they were there, you felt caught. bombarded with a choice you didn’t want to make. he was finally understanding your web of lies, finally over it, over you. you weren’t ready to let him go, you wanted to continue to live in your bubble with him, you wanted him to stay. you didn’t let them fall.
“what do you want me to say?” you don’t have a rebuttal, you don’t have any sly words that could change the topic, even momentarily change what he’s feeling. you chose anger, deflection.
“i want more, ri. i want you, i’ve wanted you since i met you. there’s no way you don’t know that,” he sighs, turning around, running that same hand through his hair. 
“and i can’t give you more, san, so what do you want me to do? force myself into something i’m not ready for? i’ve told you my piece,” you walk towards him, standing just a few steps from him.
“no, riley, i don’t want you to force yourself into being with me, that’s ridiculous. when we’re in public you barely look at me, let alone speak to me. what are you so afraid of? why can’t anyone know about… this?” he turned around, his own eyes glossy, looking down at you through damp eyelashes. your blood ran cold, colder than it had been from the moment he slammed the door, that familiar guilty feeling sitting in the pit of your stomach. 
“why do you need people to know? why do you need our relationship to be publicized? is being with me, here like this, not enough for you?” the laugh you let out was dry, calculated, “if it’s not enough then maybe we shouldn’t see each other anymore.” 
a small gasp left his lips, barely audible it could’ve been just an intake of air, his visage twisted the moment you spoke those words. with his lips and eyebrows turned downward, that slight anger, frustration, morphed into a sadness you never wanted to see again. 
“that’s not what i want,” his voice is smaller than you’ve ever heard it, a shy mumble, his gaze pointed downward at his fingers which played with his rings. “i don’t want to fight with you.” 
“i know, baby,” you stepped forward, placing a hand on his soft, reddened cheek, “i don’t want to fight with you, either. want you to be happy.” 
“i’m happy with you,” his voice cracked, a raw tone, as he glanced back up at you. his eyes red, glossed over, full of emotion, it broke your heart. you could never truly make him happy, you knew that, but you could momentarily.
“then let me take care of you,” and that you did, like you always did, the same way you did two weeks ago. you rode him to oblivion, until he forgot why he was upset in the first place, the same thing he did for you six months ago. 
a week later, you’d fought again. plenty of times.
almost every day for the whole week you started an argument over something so fucking stupid and you couldn’t stop. everything he did pissed you off, every time he tried to fix it, it pissed you off even more. you were overflowing with so many different emotions you couldn’t breathe, you needed space, you needed him, you needed chan. you were too overstimulated to think clearly, if you were ever thinking clearly to begin with.
the guilt from not returning his feelings, but not being at ease when he isn’t sleeping in your bed.. it didn’t make any sense. you felt insane, suffocated in the overwhelming feelings you couldn’t bring yourself to return. you liked san, you liked everything about him, but the fervent feelings he had towards you mirrored what you felt for chan. 
there was now nothing left unsaid. there was no unspoken deal between you anymore, no weapon left to use to let yourself get off without consequence. you were uncomfortable, uncomfortable with his feelings, uncomfortable with your own, you felt shoved in a corner you couldn’t walk away from. 
the only things that stayed consistent in that week were chan’s rooftop, chan’s living room, and his incessant need to talk to you every damn time you were there.  
san felt like he was losing his goddamn mind. 
he wished he could go back in time and take back everything he said, his confession, his feelings, he had ruined everything. you would go from not answering him to getting pissed off that he answered your text with ok instead of okay… it seemed like he couldn’t do anything right, in a constant state of fear that today would be the day you break it off with him for real. 
his day to day life was only getting worse. he was making cocktails wrong at work, not replacing ice, handing the wrong beer to patrons at the bar. he got replaced again in his spot for his dance class, reprimanded by his teacher, minho gave him not one but two additional talks about getting his shit together. 
he hadn’t seen you since the night you argued two weeks ago, he hasn’t even been going out for just a glimpse of you, he’s been playing catch up for what felt like weeks. to make matters worse, he was pent up, he’d been so used to a consistent sex life, he needed release. he needed a night to let go of you, all of the whiplash he’d endured for weeks now, he needed a night to just be himself. to forget.
he called wooyoung, his best friend who was always out in the city, always had plans. thankfully he was going to a club that night to celebrate your roommate’s recent internship acceptance. wooyoung assured him that you wouldn’t be there, it would only be a couple of your roommates' close friends. he didn’t ask why you wouldn’t be there, he tried to convince himself he didn’t care, he needed to start forgetting now.
he hopped out of bed and got ready fast, the clock already past eight, and headed over to meet the group before going to the club. they were all familiar faces from the rooftop, despite him only knowing wooyoung super intimately. all of the nights he spent at your apartment your roommate was usually at her boyfriend’s, and if she wasn’t, her and her boyfriend were cooped up in her bedroom.
but here he was, in a club he’s never heard of in the middle of manhattan celebrating her.
“have a drink, sannie, do something,” wooyoung slung his arm around san’s shoulder, bent behind the booth he was sitting at, “don’t just sit there and mope.”
san nodded, not having much to say if it didn’t have to do with you. he sipped his beer mindlessly, listening to everyone talking around him, their conversation had to be more entertaining then the jail he created for himself in his own mind. 
“...i’ve been trying to get them together for years! i’m so happy it’s finally happening!” your roommate says loud, drunkenly, talking to yunho’s girlfriend. 
“years?” yunho’s girlfriend asked, brushing her hair behind her ear, “why the hell did it take so long?”
“when they met they were all just good friends, then i was introduced and started dating jeongin pretty much immediately, i’m the one who noticed how she felt about him. she wouldn’t admit it for ages, until i finally got it out of her, and pretty much immediately after that chan started dating eden, you remember her, right?” san’s ears perked up at that, his stomach dropping immediately. he put the pieces together quicker than ki could run her mouth. the drinks from the pregame clearly made her filter pretty much nonexistent, this is a conversation he wasn’t supposed to be listening to, something he wasn’t supposed to hear. she didn’t notice the extra ear, but her boyfriend did.
“ki,” jeongin interrupted, eyes glancing back and forth between san and his girlfriend, talking over yunho’s girlfriend.
ki ignored him, too deep in her own conversation, “yes! like two weeks ago or something it finally clicked, they’ve been seeing each other since.” 
“who?” san interrupted, panic in his voice. 
he knew who, from the bottom of his heart. a little over two weeks ago was when san started the fight between the two of you, ever since then you’d been off. he hasn’t seen you. he knows damn well who.
ki’s eyes were wide, her jaw agape, and jeongin’s hand went to his forehead. 
“san, i-”
“who are you talking about, ki?” san sat a little straighter, his chin jutting out, “who’s been seeing chan for the past two weeks?”
“i think you already know who, san, i didn’t realize you didn’t know?” ki’s eyebrows furrowed in confusion, her hand holding her drink a little bit tighter. yunho’s girlfriend looked between san and ki, also confused, too nervous to ask any questions. the tension was thick in the air, too heavy for a night of celebration. san could feel the control he had over himself lessening by the second. 
san laughs, a dark chuckle, and something inside of him shifts. he’s done, he’s so fucking done. he feels stupid, it’s always been chan from the start, it’s always going to be chan. he tried telling himself months ago that you would see he was better for you than chan ever could be, but he was clearly so fucking wrong. chan would always be your endgame, it would never be him, no matter what he did for you. no matter how much he tried for you. no matter how much he begged for you.
everything he’s been feeling for the past two weeks, the confusing feelings, the constant begging just to see you, the amount of apologies he’d given to someone who didn’t fucking deserve them. how many times had you texted him when you were next to chan? how many times had you ignored him because you were next to chan?
san doesn’t get angry, san isn’t a fighter. san’s always been a peacekeeper, a problem solver, water to put out the fire. 
he is so fucking over it.
he thought about his grades, how long it’d taken him to bring them back up. his rehearsals, his performances, the center positions that had been taken away from him. how many bottles of beer he’d thrown away at work from constant fuck ups. how many times he’s gotten grilled from more people than he can count on his hands. 
he ignored ki, instead he looked into the crowd, suddenly remembering exactly where he was. he reached forward and grabbed one of the bottles yunho bought and took a long swig from it. he looked out in the crowd again and spotted a pretty little blonde thing almost immediately, and took a moment to reflect.
he remembered his life before you, before chan, before that fucking rooftop. how women fawned over him, flocked to him, how obsessed they were. how he didn’t have to try for anything or anyone. he passed the bottle to wooyoung behind him who was so taken aback he hadn’t said a word. 
“san, we can leave, we can go, it’s okay,” wooyoung said, bent over once more, taking the bottle from san’s hand, “we don’t have to stay here, let’s go.”
“if you’re not going to drink that then give it back,” his reply is so curt it sliced through the air like the knife ki just put through his chest, “we are not leaving.”
wooyoung took a swig of the bottle, a proud smirk growing on his face, “finally, man. let’s be done with it already.”
2:27 am ri: u up? ri: i miss you
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