#also who fucking reported me because this fic has been up for MONTHS and I never got word so there's no way it's just ao3 doing it randomly

[lesbianwyllravengard]

Hi so ao3 decided to suspend my account until march 3rd because I added the tag "this is an ada wong loving zone. ada haters die" to one of my fics, which they have also hidden, and I'm incredibly fucking frustrated for obvious reasons but yeah uh if you can't see my fic Another Time it's because ao3 fucking took it down without warning me or letting me remove the tag. So there's that.

[irndad]

don't date coworkers- s.r.

a/n: i literally wrote this very fast and also i hope you like it pls go easy on me!!! reader has a policy they don't date coworkers. spencer is so angsty abt that !! also sorry for dropping a new fic at 2am LOL wc: 1.7k

She’s really, really good at talking to people. 

It’s one of the many traits Spencer adores about her. She moves through crowds with ease, and she can charm her way into any piece of information from whatever city cop they need a favor from. She integrated into the team faster than anyone could’ve expected. This is a strength not all profilers have- they know what it takes to know what makes someone appealing, but rare is the ability to be as charismatic and charming as she is. 

She’s good at talking to him.

She’s worked at the BAU for about a year now. 13 months, 7 days and 8 hours since she walked through the doors of the bullpen for the first time, beaming at him for the very first time. Give or take. 

Spencer wouldn’t be surprised if everyone knew that he was in love with her. He’s halfway certain she does, and is being too polite to mention it. Normally, Spencer is incredibly regimented about boundaries. While the BAU is his family, and there’s no real way to deny that, he knows that he’s less than ideal to go out with. He’s stocky and he never cuts his hair (even though she swears it’s cute longer) and he’s an awkward guy- gangly and tall and just ill-fitting to be part of the scenery of her life. 

It’s a Friday, and a rainy one at that. It’s one of the blessed ones where they don’t really have a case, just paperwork to catch up on, reports and her desk faces a window. 

Normally, when Spencer gets his work done (a good four hours before everyone else on a paperwork-only day), he’d head out. Catch up on whatever Russian novel he’s been chipping away at- but she’s here, and he’s made her favorite tea. 

“I thought you could use a treat,” he says, walking over to her desk. She looks up at him, brushing overgrown bangs, “It’s not really a great one, but I’ll get you some scones on the way to mine, yeah?”

She looks up at him, dropping her pen and focusing entire energy on him. He feels a bit overwhelmed, like an ant under a magnifying glass. 

“Did you know that I adore you, Spence?” 

He is very much not aware. No amount of her saying it will ever make him know. She takes a long sip from the mug. He knows how much honey she likes in it. He studies how she looks, eyes closed serenely, completely invested in what he’s given her. 

“You’ll be taking her home, pretty boy?” Morgan snickers, in a not altogether unkind manner. 

“Fuck off,” she says kindly, not taking her eyes off of Spencer as she rebuffed Morgan’s teasing. 

“Easy, easy,” Morgan laughs, “I’ll leave your boyfriend alone.”

If she has anything to say to that, it doesn’t come out then. 

He’s still bright red, though. Morgan is amused, and Spencer knows that she really, truly adores Morgan. Spencer loves him too, but it would be nice if he laid off the jokes. 

She doesn’t date coworkers. 

He knows this because of the first time they’d met, when he’d been walking in carrying a croissant for Garcia and a coffee for JJ, and saw what can only be described as a truly ridiculously beautiful woman in the bullpen. 

She’d been leaned back, smiling openly as Morgan tossed some random pick-up line towards her. He remembers it now like he can still hear it, her lilting lovely voice carrying just the right amount of warmth to make this not sting, or at least sting as little as possible. 

“I’m sorry, Derek,” she had said, “I make it a point not to date coworkers.” 

Which of course is fine. She can date whoever she wants, and it’s a good policy to have personally. And Spencer’s never really be the kind of guy who excelled at getting dates. He knew from the first minute that he saw her that even if she didn’t think that way… well, it wouldn’t be him, who she picked. 

Now, they are very close. So close that she drives him home from work every Friday. Which usually includes staying at his shitty apartment and watching VHS tapes of documentaries and Doctor Who. 

He wants to kiss her every Friday. All, the time, really. It’s kind of plaguing him. Clearly, she likes hanging out with him. Something about him is appealing. It’s foolish to assume that it’s more than friends, especially for someone like him to be with someone like her. 

She doesn’t date coworkers. 

“I made sure the film tonight has subtitles!”

“Are you saying film because this film is foreign, Spence?”

“I promise it’s worth it!” He says excitedly, “And they’re really done well. You won’t have to have me whisper the translations to you in real time!”

“I didn’t mind that,” She laughs then, a real laugh, “but I’m glad we’re getting to hang out tonight.”

It’s funny- they’ve done this so, so many times, but he never stops being thrilled. 

___________________________________

Sometimes, when the summer air is forgiving enough, they walk home from the office. She takes the train in, and they walk back to his place. Tonight is one of these nights, and god- she looks lovely. She’s tied her blazer around her waist, and the sunset hits her face in that gorgeous baroque painting kind of way. 

“You’re very pretty,” he hears himself say before he can stop it. He’s endlessly pleased when she preens at the praise. 

“You’re not so bad yourself, Doctor,” she says, shoving her hands into her pockets, a nervous gesture. He wants to hold those hand, intertwine her lovely delicate fingers with his bony wispy fingers. 

“You’re being nice to me,” he says, looking down at his shoes. They’re stupid. He should wear loafers, or some other shoe that doesn’t make him like half-child half-geek. 

“I’m being accurate, actually,” she says she bumps his shoulder. 

She’d be a wonderful girlfriend. He lives in the world this can happen quite often, in his fantasy. She laughs at his jokes and tells him he’s kind, and good, and she means it. He’s lucky to have this much of her- more than anyone else on the team! Spencer knows he’s her favorite. The way she’s looking at him now, how she give-up her Fridays to spend with him, on his ratty couch, how she always listens. Whenever they're both on the jet and he falls asleep, he always wakes up with a blanket on him. She's so good at loving people.

Being her favorite on the team does not mean he’s in the running to be a boyfriend. But he’d fucking want to be. He’d be a good boyfriend. Spencer, he’s gone so far for her. He fantasizes about getting her flowers that have symbolic meaning.

“Are you okay, boy-genius?”

“I’m better than okay. Do you want popcorn?”

She wants popcorn. He sets the movie up, and she gets comfortable on his couch, curling up with his purple felt blanket, and his mind betrays him with unhelpful images of what it might look like if she was his, if this is what he came home to. 

Don't picture welcome home kisses, or movie nights or being wanted. Don't.

It’s very, very hard to focus on the movie.  

She’s touchy, with him. He’s not sure if it’s because she could never see him as her boyfriend, but he’s grateful as she leans her head on his. She smells like peonies. When the credits roll, they stay like that for minute- her head on his shoulder and one of her legs thrown over his. 

He wonders, not for the first time, if she feels the same way about him. If things were just..different, then they’d be kissing under the haze of his TV right now, if he’d know what that chapstick she carries with her every day tastes like. 

“Do you ever wonder what it’d be like if we met under different circumstances?” he says, once time passes and he speaks instead of thinking.

“Hmm?” She hummed, relaxed eyes flitting their gaze over to him.

“Like, at a bar or something.”

“But you hate bars.”

“That’s why I said or something!”

Her lip juts out adorably, “But then I wouldn’t get to see you in your element.”

“Yeah,” he sighs, resting his neck on the top of the cushion. The AC is a little too much in the room. He wonders if she’s cold. “But who knows. Maybe we’d date, or something.”

It’s the dumbest thing he’s ever fucking said. Both because it was a dumb way to say it, but because it was an advance. He feels white hot shame lick at his spine when he looks at her, and hears her laugh. 

“I don’t think so, Spence.” 

“No,” shitshitshit, “I didn’t mean-“

“I mean, if you don’t want to date me now, I don’t think meeting at like, Whole Foods would’ve been the difference maker.”

It’s then he hears it- the piece he couldn’t place in her voice, when she gets like this. It’s being resigned. 

“What are you talking about?”

“C’mon, Spence,” she says, another bitter chuckle coming through, “You know how I feel. I haven’t exactly beens subtle.”

“But you don’t date coworkers. You have a rule.”

She looks at him with no recognition of what he’s saying. 

“No, because you told Morgan that, it’s the first thing I ever heard you say.”

“Yeah, but-“

“And yes, okay, you’ve been my favorite person almost as long as I’ve known you and yes, I would fucking love for you to be my girlfriend, but that was your rule!”

“You want me to be your girlfriend?”

“Obviously!”

He doesn’t get the chance to say anything else before, well- before she’s kissing him. More aggressive than that, really. Crawled onto his lap, arms around his neck, and where she leads Spencer is all too happy to follow. His body is not great at moving on instinct, but his whole nervous system feels alive- the weight of her in his lap, the feel of her waist under his fingers, the way he’s allowed this. It feels like such a pleasure, hedonistic in a way he’s never, ever been allowed to experience.

“You had a rule,” he says dumbly when she pulls away. His lips are wet. He’d like to go back to kissing, thank you very much. 

“You’re the exception, to every rule, Spencer.”

When he kisses her again (which he’s allowed to do now, holy fuck) Spencer decides he’s going to spend the rest of all time earning that status. 

[auspicioustidings]

https://www.tumblr.com/auspicioustidings/734619885087375360/i-cannot-write-for-shit-right-now-so-any-little

Hmmmm I’m seeing so many x single mom readers and not sure if this is something you’re even interested in BUT

Simon meeting his pretty new neighbor while she’s moving I and realizes she is either a.) heavily pregnant or b.) has a very young baby so Simon goes “hmmmm mine now :)” and helps her out a little? (Alternatively, if you don’t wanna do Simon for this, then maybe Price?)

(Also if you haven’t read @peachesofteal’s Light On fic, Simon x single mom reader, I implore if you to do so!!! It’s so good)

Peaches Light On fics, and I am being so deadass serious, give me such a flood of serotonin any time I see a new one. Everyone get your butt over there because they are the standard for single mother content as far as I am concerned!

That being said, I've put a bit of a twist on this so it's not really what you requested at all, sorry :') I could not do a similar idea to Peaches because there is nothing I can do to improve perfection!

Tactical Action

Words: 1.1k

CWs: mentions of death

“It's not a shame Price, it's fucking ridiculous.”

Simon Riley was furious looking at the paperwork. It wasn't often that TF141 kept tabs on a promising rookie so when they did he expected nothing but excellence. What he did not expect was a large ‘Early Service Leaver’ stamp over an otherwise exemplary record.

“Their brother died in that warship collision, can't blame them for wanting out.”

“My brother was murdered, I kept fucking going.”

He had met you once when Johnny had dragged him. His Sergeant was both excited and annoyed that someone had gotten the new record for the 3rd selection phase. It made sense to get some feel for you then, if you were as good at escape, evasion and tactical questioning as the test scores suggested then the 141 needed to have you on their radar because the PMCs certainly would. 

You were a determined thing, shoulders back and addressing them with just the right amount of respect. Not arrogant, but not a pushover. Soap had been talking about how much he wanted to get his hands on you the whole drive back to base because he was a horny idiot and you were a challenge he found intriguing. Simon had just rolled his eyes and added your record to the small pile in Price's office. 

He knew a little of your background. Both parents gone, one sibling in the navy. Well one sibling now KIA. He could have understood taking leave, but to quit entirely? It made him angry, he thought it was a waste of potential. Price could see how it affected him and he sighed. 

“Go talk to them then. But do not get yourself reported for harassment and intimidation Simon, if they don't want back in then we make our peace with that.”

That was all the permission he needed. He probably should have taken Soap really, someone who could be comforting and coax you back. But fuck it, you were supposed to be good under pressure so he was going to give you some hard damn advice on not bloody giving up.

–

Exhausted didn't even begin to describe how you felt. This was the hardest thing you had ever done, but you were not going to just give up. You couldn't, not with this tiny thing relying on you. 

She had never even got to meet her parents. Your brother died just before the due date in that accident and then his girlfriend had died from complications in childbirth. You had promised her you would look after their baby if anything happened, made an oath that you'd not let her parents anywhere near such an innocent little thing. 

So you were on your own with nothing but grief and exhaustion and an ever dwindling death in service payment. They would pay part of your brother's pension out each month at least for the baby, but you were terrified that it wouldn't be enough to give her a life she deserved. She certainly deserved her parents and not her fathers ill equipped sibling, but you could only do your best even with the knowledge it would never be enough. 

You flinched when there was a hard knock at the door of your flat, freezing but taking a breath when the baby remained sleeping in your arms. You needed to move at one point you knew, a flat in a bit of a rough area was fine for a soldier (ex-soldier you reminded yourself) but not so much for a baby. 

The security you had upgraded as best you could at the moment and you checked the door camera to see Lieutenant Riley. Ghost. You had met him briefly once, but what was a legend like him doing here? Shit. You knew you looked a wreck but it wasn't like you could ignore him so you opened the door, bouncing baby girl gently to keep her sleeping. 

Simon's planned tirade died the moment he saw the situation. You had a baby. Oh that changed his tirade significantly. Your marital status had listed single, so he could only assume you had gotten yourself knocked up by some casual hookup. That was unacceptable in a soldier, so bloody stupid. 

“Shit” you cursed when she woke up, heading back inside and giving him a nod of invite.

You bounced her and tried to coo at her to go back to sleep. To please God go back to sleep. You never knew what she wanted, it felt like whatever you did was always wrong. And of course then she started wailing and the Lieutenant was in your flat closing the door behind him witnessing your absolute failure to take care of a baby. 

“Oh for Christ sake, give her here.”

Simon took the baby and hoisted the little thing up onto his shoulder, rubbing hard at her back. 

“When was the last time you fed her?”

“I- well, just before you got here. 10 minutes ago maybe? Just got her to sleep.”

“Did you burp her?”

“Oh. I…” you replied, straining yourself in an attempt not to cry. “No. I forgot.”

While his eyes were sharp on you his hands and voice were gentle and soothing for the baby. He was good at this. Did he have kids? Fuck was everyone just innately good at caring for babies but you? 

“Didn't stop to think if you could take care of her before having her?” 

“She's not mine. Well I suppose she is. I'm her only living relative, or only decent one at least. I, um… that warship accident from a few months back. My brother died during it and her mum passed during the birth. I'm her legal guardian now. I'm what she has sir, it was the best tactical action given the circumstance” you said, straightening up despite your exhaustion and prolonged terror at being responsible for such an innocent little thing. 

Simon cocked his head to the side as the baby on his shoulder burped and gurgled, now trying to get back to sleep. You were still a soldier he saw then, you were fighting back your emotions to give him a report on the situation. He reevaluated after the sitrep and took a moment to find the best course of action.

“Marry me then.”

“Sir?”

“We can get it done tomorrow. Might take a bit of time to get a decent house but we'll stay in my flat until then, better area. Still going to be out on assignment a lot but any death benefit would go to you and the widows pension would set you up for life. I'm what you have rookie, it's the best tactical action.”

“Yes sir.”

[fawnprincessblog]

Hi everyone, guess who's back.

After 2 months of absence i've decided to bring myself back on here and explain some things that have happened.

💗

After publishing a post a while back regarding incest, i had recieved a lot of hate since then. When i posted it I had no idea how much hate I was bound to receive from all of you once you guys saw it, and honestly i didn't think it would get that much attention. After realising it was clearly causing so much hate I posted an apology, which all you also thought was total shit, so I deleted that too.

And right after, I was bombarded with an ungodly amount of death threats through my inbox, people asking me to kill myself and end it. It was a whole lot, and I really didn't think that one measly post would set you guys off so fast. And honestly I was surprised to see how much there was. My inbox was full of them, and I couldn't handle it all.

Soon enough as expected one person had gone anonymous, sending inbox messages to my followers to report the 'heinous crime' I've committed by posting one silly thing, which by the way, put out a lot of false information. The person was over exaggerating, putting shitty words in my mouth. And I'm here now to talk about all the accusations the person has made. To the people who recieved the inbox message, here's your real explanation from the blogger who made the damn posts.

1. I 'nonchalantly' wrote twincest about Tom and Bill.

First of all, I have never in my life intended to ship the damn twins. If you have checked tumblr well enough, you should be aware there's tons of threesome sex fics about Tom and Bill, where they both fucked the reader at once. And if you fucking bothered to read my fic properly and not jump to conclusions to try so damn hard and cancel me, you'd know damn well Tom and Bill never even touched eachother in the fic that I wrote. They didn't have sex with eachother, they didn't DIRTY TALK eachother, and they did NOT do anything that would have come across as incest.

They both simply fucked the reader and talked to the reader, having nothing to do with each other in the fic. Get your damn facts right b4 you try to sound like a fucking smartass.

2. I want to be 'chained up and used.'

Kinks and fantasies everyone, c'mon. People have FUCKING KINKS. And mind you, this is tumblr. If you srsly see shit like this and start acting out because it makes you sad then clearly it's not for you so like just scroll? You have a damn finger, don't you? Unless, y'know, you cut the damn thing off.

Anyway, I think it's pathetic you're acting all petty over it cause you wanna cancel someone so bad and be the fucking hero of the day. Nobody cares, cunt.

3. I wanted to 'abuse' Bill.

To clarify this one, I do agree that the term 'abuse' was too strong. I don't intend to fucking abuse the poor guy, I just had no idea how to fucking word my sentence and how I was trying to get the damn message out. I've already edited my post on this one. So, chill out.

4. I'm 'anti-lgbt'?

This shitty one has been going around a LOT ever since I posted something regarding how annoying Bill was in the Kaulitz & Kaulitz series, where he talked alot about his sexuality.

First of all I'm not fucking homophobic. To let you guys know I am a Catholic Christian, (ik, not a very holy one) and supporting the lgbt community is definitely not on the list. And even if so, I do not disrespect anyone who's part of it. We aren't told to treat you guys any less. And for me, although I never encouraged the idea, I don't look lower on the person. Even I myself catch myself in a 'lesbian-feeling' situation sometimes.

And if you've seen the comments on the post I made about that Bill thing, all the comments agree with my anyway. We all collectively agree he went a little overboard but so what? I'm just saying. Suck on that, stupid hoe!

5. I support pedophilia.

Babe, check the post again and see how many people were totally okay with the damn post in the first place. I have never agreed ever that pedophilia was okay, and there's tons of older Tom fics with this age gap. Please, istg, do your research before crying over spilled milk to save yourself the embarrassment.

And, to let y'know, who ever sent these inbox messages, one of the friends that you sent these to—I think her name was 'pain of l0ve' or smtg—was totally one of the biggest supporters on that post asking for a full blown fic of older tom and the 17 year old girl. She uses to be my follower too. Dw, I have a screenshot before she blocked me and tried to act all shocked and surprised that I post those malicious things you said! ^^

mm...that really pissed me off ngl 🤷��♀️

Anyway, that concludes it. Hope this answers your questions about all this misinformation that this person has spread in attempt to cancel me.

I also just want to put it out there that I'm really sorry for posting something like that, and now looking at it I do agree that it was weird. I apologise for anyone who got uncomfortable. All the death threats I've received weren't necessary though. I don't ever think it's right to go that far on anyone. Please be mindful sometimes. Other than that, I'm really sorry.

And I also wanna thank @itsangelll for being there for me when I couldn't answer all the haters myself. Girl you really helped me out, standing up for me and explaining the situation. Ilysm always 💗💗

But for the cunt that sent out all the inbox messages, I hope you had fun doing so anyways :3 I really do appreciate all the stalking and effort you put in just for me so you could cancel me and be heard! 🥺 Seriously the hero of the day! You really read through all my stuff so you could dig out the littlest things! Talk about dedication!! Quite obsessed I must say.

Kisses, love ya! 💋💋💗

[thedrarrylibrarian]

hi!! I first off wanted to say THANK YOUU!! I came across your page abt two months ago when I needed new fics and I use your recs so often!! I was wondering, what are a few of your all-time favorite fics, if you had to choose? (:

Oh my goodness! I'm so glad to hear that you've been enjoying my blog! I can't believe I've been running this blog for 3 years today!

What a fun ask (I've been sitting on this so I could use it for today!) I really struggled to pick fics - or more accurately, not to pick ALL the fics! I picked fics that are my go to rereads - whether it's because they make me laugh or because they pull at my heartstrings, or because they're so hot, these are some of my personal favorites.

Cupboard Love by @shealwaysreads (4,184 words, rated G)

Cupboard Love: the psychoanalytic theory of an infant’s primary drive being food which, when satisfied, leads naturally to a secondary drive for attachment.

Harry’s life, and love, in food.

Still Warm, Still Warm by @tsauergrass (4,899 words, rated G)

Harry is up to something. Why else would he keep giving Draco presents?

Five Little Things by @bixgirl1 (6,197 words, rated T)

Harry was supposed to be good at this.

Headway by orphan_account (7,482 words, rated M)

“It’s called courting,” Draco spat suddenly, livid and red in the face. “I wouldn’t expect you to understand a single thing about it, actually Potter, since it’s formal, and there are rules, and neither of those are concepts you’d know anything about even if they took on human form and kicked you right in the fucking dick.”

The Exhale by spqr (7,506 words, rated T)

Hermione makes a soft, concerned sound. "Harry, look at this." She shows him an article with a photo, but the photo's not moving; it must be a Muggle newspaper. "NASA have just landed a rover on Mars. It's called Curiosity, and look, this is so--I don't know if it's sweet or sad, but--it's all alone out there, and they programmed it to sing itself Happy Birthday."

Nothing is wrong, but Harry starts crying.

Silverpoint by @tackytigerfic (8,836 words, rated E)

It seems fairly simple to you, but you know that you don't really understand love - how could you, after all? You've never known how to talk about it, but you've never had to before. Everyone you ended up loving has always understood. You've been able to show them, by fighting for them, dying for them.

That seems a bit much- after all, Malfoy just wants tea in bed and his cock in your mouth (not usually at the same time).

It's ok to love him, you reason with yourself - he doesn't have to know. No one ever has to know.

Quick as a Flash of Lightning, Unhurried as Eternity by @onbeinganangel and @babooshkart (10,000 words, rated E)

Can you fall in love with someone by simply watching them fiercely love another version of yourself?

The Way These Days Seem to Go (And Go) by @firethesound (15,230 words, rated T)

Stress baking isn’t a hobby Harry ever thought he’d pick up, but he’s surprised to find how much it helps him to get through those long months post-war. It keeps his hands busy, it keeps his mind occupied, and when Draco Malfoy steadily pushes his way back into Harry's life, it helps with that too.

Let him lead me to the banquet by @harryromper (16,066 words, rated T)

The worst part is Harry’s got no idea why Malfoy keeps sending him invites. He’s never replied to a single one. And if the whole dinner is as exclusive and sought-after as the Prophet keeps breathlessly reporting, then presumably the only reason Malfoy wants him there is in his capacity as the Chosen One. So, really, he can fuck right off. Harry doesn’t care about Draco Malfoy’s redemption tour. And he’s certainly not going to help him with it.

Draco Malfoy Absolutely Does Not Need to Be Loved by Harry Bloody Potter by @nv-md (18,153 words, rated E)

It’s not easy to be bonded to your childhood rival, turned fuckbuddy, who you also have extremely uncomfortable but repressed feelings for—just ask Draco Malfoy.

When You Kiss Me (What A Lovely Way to Burn) by @femmequixotic (22,167 words, rated E)

A drag fairytale of New York in which Draco wears red lipstick and Potter can’t get enough.

In the dark, the light by phrynne (32,203 words, rated E)

‘Potter… It’s Malfoy. Do you still want this?’ It started like that. Malfoy’s breath on his ear, his voice low, hot against his skin. Harry shivered, though he could feel the heat from Malfoy’s body just behind him, too close, but not touching him. Even if he could. For the rest of the night, he could do whatever the hell he wanted with Harry.

Clouds That Veil the Midnight Moon by @drarrytrash (36,733 words, rated E)

According to Harry’s personal narrative regarding the incident, he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy for purely self-destructive reasons, or out of convenience, or by some unlucky accident. Looking at him, sprawled in the moonlight, Harry is devastated to recall that he’d hooked up with Draco Malfoy because he’s hot.

Draco is a secret werewolf and Harry is doing his best and they've got criminals to catch, darn it.

Boiling Point by @goldentruth813 (42,882 words, rated M)

After an Auror raid gone wrong, Draco ends up trapped in a dodgy safehouse with nothing but Harry Potter’s dubious company and a dwindling supply of food. With only each other and the walls surrounding them, they're forced to confront their past and their feelings which have long been threatening to boil over.

The Liars Department by @dorthyanndrarry (103,395 words, rated T)

This is a story about Harry meeting up with Draco Malfoy four years after the war. And a story about Harry, well, not hating his job per say, but it's not like he has much to compare it to and it seemed fine. His whole life seemed fine. Then Malfoy came along with and his flashy suits and fast car making everything seem dull in comparison, and Harry... Harry couldn't just leave well enough alone.

Grounds for Divorce by @tepre (122,217 words, rated E)

Malfoy finds a coin. Harry finds a letter.

A story about histories, a story about families. A story about a lemon tree somewhere in Upper Egypt.

What We Pretend We Can't See by @gyzym (131,086 words, rated M)

Seven years out from the war, Harry learns the hard truth of old history: it’s never quite as far behind you as you thought.

❤️ As always, if you find a fic you enjoy, please remember to leave the author a kudos or a comment! ❤️

Love forever,

The Drarry Librarian

[sunflowervoltwentyeight]

Happy 28th! Here is my January 2024 fic rec, organized by word count, from longest to shortest. You can view my other fic recs here. Enjoy!

It's Fine To Fake It 'Til You Make It ('Til It's True) by sunflouwerhabit / @sunflouwerhabit (150k)

Harry Styles @HarryStyles_KE hi again! so, i wanted to apologize one more time for the whole “helogogjs good gksdjid” thing, and also say that i didn’t just accidentally open your DM’s when i wasn’t paying attention earlier. i sort of had a question about a tweet you posted yesterday? like. the whole “rent a boyfriend” thing? is that something you were serious about? and if so, how does one come to hire you to be their boyfriend? i’m, um, asking for a friend

*****

Harry dreads an impending visit to his hometown, where he’ll be forced to reunite with a newly engaged ex-boyfriend, a childhood best friend turned near stranger, and a family who never understood just how desperately he needed to leave.

In the midst of it all, a ludicrous Twitter proposition brings him to Louis.

(Almost) Exes-to-Lovers (Series) by nonsensedarling / @absoloutenonsense (93k)

Been Waitin' (After Weekend After Weekend After) (3k) Louis and Harry meet at a laundromat. Part 1 of (Almost) Exes-to-Lovers When the Trouble Comes (89k) The Queens Trafficking case is the biggest one of Louis’ FBI career so far; eleven reported missing girls all disappeared under a similar set of circumstances. Louis has done everything he can to try and solve this case over the last nine months… while also absolutely ruining his marriage. Harry has been co-host of Banter at Breakfast for five years, and finally has the opportunity to create his own radio show with the network. Unfortunately, it comes at a time where Harry’s thoughts are consumed with his impending divorce from his (caring, loving, infuriatingly thoughtful) husband of eight years. Harry and Louis have both been willing to lose themselves in their work… but are they willing to lose each other? * Or a story of (almost) exes-to-lovers. Part 2 of (Almost) Exes-to-Lovers

And Down the Long and Silent Street by whimsicule (86k)

The year is 1881 and if you’re alone in this world you might as well be dead, because starving dogs have no mercy.

Or: Wherein Louis and Harry are on the opposite ends of the social ladder, but their paths still cross on the filthy streets Louis calls his home. The odds are staked against them from the beginning, and even more when Louis' past finally catches up with him.

Baby Steal My Heart Away by Snowy38 (61k)

Louis headed into the hall, seeing the Moses basket right away.

"Wah-wah-wahhh!"

Was that...

Fuck.

It was. It was a baby! A loudly crying, clearly unhappy-actually properly distressed baby. It was already red in the face and--

Why was there a baby?

He looked up and around, palm flattening to his forehead to push his scruffy hair away from his clammy skin, checking he wasn't being punked.

Light Me Up, Put Me on Top by CuckooTrooke / @larrydoinglaundry (24k)

Harry takes Louis back to Northern Europe to experience his first Nordic Christmas in their beloved cabin, surrounded by nothing but peace and snow. So much snow.

Short "spin-off" to 'Love is a word, you gave it a name' universe. Takes place after the second part of the main story, but before the final epilogue.

Part 3 of love is a word, you gave it a name

No One Like You by myownspark (19k)

Dear Niall,

I was glad to have the chance to talk with you again at the AHA conference. Your idea that the Musee D’Orsay Tomlinson painting is in fact not a self-portrait is an intriguing one, and I may have discovered something that will have a bearing on that theory.

Some background: as you may remember, I’ve been researching for a book I’m writing about Harry Styles. I’ve been in communication with Styles’ last living descendant, who is in possession of a trunk that her family believed to have belonged to Styles himself. It held some personal items she presumes to be his, including two unmounted paintings and a small collection of letters.

Upon spending the last few days in Provins studying these items, I believe there to be a connection between Tomlinson and Styles, and I would very much like your opinion.

Are you up for a trip to France?

Sincerely, Liam Payne

Where Liam and Niall are art historians discovering the truth about two nineteenth century painters on opposite sides of an artistic divide.

[deadgirlwalking91]

new update - 'thank you for the venom', chapter 6: 'this isn’t what i wanted but i can’t keep my filthy fucking mouth shut'

Chapter One

Chapter Two

Chapter Three

Chapter Four

Chapter Five

Chapter 6 Summary

Lute bites off more than she can chew; Adam remembers he's not just Lute's punching bag... he's her boss.

Author's note:

Thanks to everybody who has read/engaged so far! I hope you like this one - it was great fun to write. Feel free to comment and inbox away, doesn't have to be about this fic. Happy to chat anything and everything guitarspear!

Cheers to @branded-rose for beta-ing once again; there's a snippit in here that I didn't send you, by the way. You'll know it when you see it ;)

***

Adam and Lute’s Office, Exorcist Training Centre, Heaven

It had been a month since the Great Bathroom Incident, and the Exorcists were beginning to feel the effects of burnout.

Layla collapsed from exhaustion during a gruelling combat tournament that Lute had sprung on the girls one training session. It turned out she had been hitting the gym twice daily to ensure her physical fitness could keep up with the increasingly difficult drills that Lute had been implementing.

Adam also knew for a fact that the gym wasn’t the only thingLayla had been hitting lately, but he was trying this new tactic with women where he didn’t kiss and tell.

Layla was one of many Exorcists who were suffering the effects of extreme fatigue due to their intense training regime. Over the course of a fortnight, there was at least two new injuries or incidents daily that arose, which meant one thing: More. Fucking. Paperwork.

As if he didn’t have enough shit on his plate already, he now had to spend more time in the office with the she-devil herself, who was still a raging bitch to him on the daily.

She was even worse than usual – not that Adam thought it was possible - now that their increased workload meant they had to stay back late each night to ensure the incident reports were completed in a timely manner. If there was one thing Sera got her panties in a twist about, it was overdue incident reports. Which, unfortunately for Adam, meant that Lute was also on the warpath about them.

The moment he stepped into their office on Monday morning, he knew he was in for it.

“Think you could fucking manage to be on time for once?” Lute snapped, eyes not leaving the paperwork she was frantically filling out.

“Think you could manage not to be a raging cunt for once?” Adam retorted, slamming a take-away cup down on her desk. Not that she fucking deserved it. He hoped the coffee was so hot that it would burn her mouth.

Without acknowledging the insult, Lute grabbed the cup and started drinking desperately from it, disgust clearly written all over her face as she chugged the beverage.

“Don’t get me that milky shit again,” she snarled, tossing the cup into the bin. “In fact, stop buying me coffee every morning, would you?”

“You seemed to enjoy it enough,” Adam retorted. “A ‘thank-you’ would be nice though, you rude bitch.”

“Oh, fuck off.” Lute looked up at him for the first time that morning, despite insulting him at least twice since his arrival. Adam couldn’t hold back his wince – she looked awful. Dark bags lined the underneath of her eyes, which were red rimmed with exhaustion, her hair looked like a brush hadn’t been taken to it in weeks and even from where he stood, he could see how physically tense she was.

“You look like hell.”

For once, Lute resisted the urge to retort back, though her eyes narrowed into slits as she glared at him.

“I’m serious. You look like you need a good dicking.” Adam dropped into his seat and started sorting through his own pile of paperwork. “Not that I’m offering. My cock would probably shrivel up and fall off once I stick it in because –”

“Will you shut the fuck up?!” Lute shouted, standing and gripping the edge of her desk so tightly Adam could see the whites of her already pale knuckles. She looked positively rattled, and he wasn’t sure if it was a trick of the light, but her eyes seemed to be glistening. “C-c…” She took a shuddering breath to steady herself and looked around the room, avoiding eye contact, running her hand through her cropped hair. “Can you just…go?”

Adam studied her, frowning. In all the years they’d worked together, he’d never seen Lute lose her cool like this. Sure, she was in a perpetual foul mood, and often directed said foul moods at him, so he was used to her sharp tongue and venomous insults.

But…emotional Lute?

He didn’t know how to deal with an emotional Lute. He didn’t deal well with normal women who were emotional. He’d hate to think of how he’d handle his unhinged second-in-command who hated his guts on any regular day.

And yet… there was a nagging voice, somewhere deep in the back of his brain, that was urging him to cut her some slack. Give her a break.

Adam couldn’t quite place his finger on what caused him to listen to that voice, and there was every chance he’d live to regret it, but instead of kicking Lute while she was down – tempting as it was, given she’d been such a bitch lately - he decided to do the opposite.

He was going to grant her a reprieve.

“I’m not going anywhere,” he said simply, staring at her. “You on the other hand, are dismissed for the day, Lieutenant.”

Lute’s head whipped towards Adam, her mouth agape.

“What?” she hissed.

“You heard me. Go home.”

“I’m not going home!” she shrieked. The glisten Adam thought he caught in her eyes earlier were now full-blown tears, threatening to spill down her cheeks. “Who’s going to do all the paperwork? Who will take training today?”

“Nice to know you hold so much faith in me.” Adam said dryly. “You’re a fucking mess, Lute. I need you to get your shit together. I can’t have you taking it out on the rest of the girls, not when they’re already dropping like flies every day.”

Lute gaped at him wordlessly.

“Close your mouth. You’re going to pack your stuff and go home. Now. If I catch you putting a single piece of paper in your bag so you can continue working from home, I’m adding another day to your dismissal.”

“What will Sera say?” she whispered, fear evident in her voice.

“Don’t worry about Sare-bear, she probably won’t notice. If she does, I’ll say you’re unwell. Women’s problems, or some shit.”

Lute let out a shaky laugh. “Great. Just what I wanted her to know.”

“One more thing,” Adam added, leaning back in his chair. “We’re having dinner tonight. You and me.” He pointed back and forth between the two of them. “After you’ve taken the day to wash the sand out of your vagina, and you’re a nicer person because of it, we’re going to go out to dinner and talk through some shit. Finish our conversation from where we left off a month ago.”

“I –” Lute started, but Adam held his hand up for her to stop.

“Shut up. It’s not negotiable, Lute. I’ll meet you at seven. For once, wear something that isn’t workout gear or your uniform. Got it?”

For what seemed like minutes, but really would have only been the matter of seconds, Lute stared at Adam, frowning like she wanted to argue but something was holding her back.

“Fine,” she answered. “See you then.”

Lute’s Apartment, Apartment Block, Exorcist Training Centre, Heaven

Lute sat on the edge of her bed, wrapped in a towel, staring into her wardrobe.

She had no fucking idea what to wear.

This wasn’t a predicament she usually found herself in; the beauty of being as unsociable as she was meant that she didn’t need an array of outfits stashed in her closet for impromptu events such as dinners with her boss.

In fact, her wardrobe mostly consisted of workout gear, her exorcist uniform and a few other select items of clothing. All of it was black. None of it was fancy. Or particularly feminine.

Sighing, she tousled her damp hair. This was stupid. Going to dinner with Adam was stupid. Adam was stupid. She could be using this time to catch up on the paperwork she missed out on doing while she’d been stood down for the day.

Lute would never admit it to Adam, but she had managed to relax for most of the day. And by relax, she completed a two-hour home workout, scrubbed her apartment from top to bottom, rearranged her pantry and finished all her laundry. This was all after she spent a good hour sulking about being sent home and wishing nothing less than a slow and painful death on her boss. Her version of sulking happened to consist of throwing things around her apartment until they broke.

She reached for her phone and tapped out a quick text message, hating herself for initiating conversation with Adam outside of work hours, but what other choice did she have?

Lute: Where are we going?

She tossed her phone aside and flopped backwards onto the bed. Knowing her luck, she’d make somewhat of an effort with her appearance, and he’d take her to a damn fast-food restaurant. Or she’d dress casually, and he’d humiliate her by taking her to a fancy restaurant, which she wouldn’t put past him.

It wasn’t the instantaneous reply that took her by surprise, but more the response itself.

Adam: Do you like BBQ?

Unsure how to answer, her fingers hovered over the screen of her phone before she replied.

Lute: Don’t know. Never had it.

Adam: Didn’t think so.

Lute hissed at her phone and threw it across her bed. Fuck it, she wasn’t going. It’d be a waste of time anyway – no doubt they’d start arguing and she’d probably get so irritated that she’d throw her drink on him and storm out of the restaurant.

Only for the next morning to come and it’d all repeat again. The childish jibes, the insults, the threats of murder…

Her phone buzzed again, unexpectedly interrupting her thoughts. Probably Vaggie asking where she was today. She reached across her bed and tapped the screen.

Adam: It’s not fancy. Hellfire Bar & Grill. See you at 7.

Well. That at least gave her something to work with. Sighing, she got up and started sifting through the clothing in her wardrobe for what seemed like the four hundredth time, wishing she was doing anything but going out for dinner with Adam that night.

Hellfire Bar & Grill, Heaven

For once, Adam had arrived somewhere earlier than Lute. She wasn’t surprised; considering he was highly food motivated she was willing to bet that had something to do with it.

What she was surprised at, however, was the fact that he was dressed entirely in casual clothing. She’d only ever seen him in three outfits before, and they were all different variations of the same robe. It was jarring, seeing him dressed in civilian clothing but still donning his usual helmet and mask.

“Hey,” he greeted her, looking up from his phone as he saw her approach.

“Hi.”

“Have you calmed the fuck down?”

Lute narrowed her eyes. “If you’ve asked me to come here so you can insult me, I’m turning around and going back home.”

“I would have thought,” he sighed, pocketing his phone and opening the door to the restaurant. “That some time off would have put you in a better mood.”

Ignoring him, Lute entered the restaurant and waited while he requested a table. Luckily for them - or unluckily, Lute thought – it wasn’t very busy, so they were seated swiftly.

“What can I get you two lovebirds to drink?” Their waitress chirped, beaming at them both.

“He’s not my fuckin-”

“We’re not dating, babe.” Adam grinned up at the waitress, who at his words, seemed to suddenly be very taken by him. “You and me, though? That could work. Two glasses of your best red wine, thanks.”

Lute shot him a disgusted look, wrinkling her nose at his blatant flirting. Sleazebag.

The waitress was clearly infatuated with Adam, because she giggled incessantly as she flounced away with their drink order.

“How do you know what I drink?” Lute demanded.

“The night I came to your apartment –”

“Broke into my apartment.” Lute corrected him, folding her arms.

Adam waved a hand carelessly in the air. “Yeah, yeah, whatever. You had an open bottle of red wine on the bench, so I figured you drank it.”

“The things you learn when you break and enter.”

Before he could retort, the waitress returned with their drinks. She also held a piece of paper which she slipped not-so discreetly across the table to Adam. Winking at her, he pocketed the paper and Lute had to force herself to look away, lest she start gagging as the woman practically melted on the spot in excitement.

What all those women saw in him, she’d never fucking know.

“So,” Adam cleared his throat, shifting in his seat as the waitress practically skipped away. “Did you, uh, relax today?”

“I did.”

Silence. Lute, not really wanting to divulge any further information to Adam, fiddled with the sleeve of her jacket, staring around the restaurant. To their right was a couple who showed all the signs of being on their first date. Hands entwined atop the table, the angels were staring into each other’s eyes, not talking. Just… staring. With stupid smiles on their faces.

Lute rolled her eyes and shifted her focus to the table on their left, the couple occupying that space arguing in hushed voices, though one of the two women looked like they were dangerously close to tears.

Wonderful.

She lifted her wine glass to her lips and sipped, trying to fill the silence with something.

‘What did you do?” Adam pressed, drumming his fingers on the table.

“I worked out. I cleaned. I did laundry.”

“Didn’t I tell you to relax?”

“I don’t really do relaxing.” Another sip of wine. The way this meeting was going, she’d polish off the entire bottle before she got the chance to even eat.

“You were relaxing the night I came around to talk.”

Lute stiffened at the mention of that night. She set her glass down on the table, frowning as she ran her thumb and index finger up and down the stem. She was unsure how to answer – it would be easiest to tell Adam where to go, but the reality was that she was tired, and wasn’t sure how much longer she could keep up the back and forth between them.

“I haven’t done it since.”

“Because of me?”

Lute felt her stomach knot, her hands growing warm and clammy. She removed them from her glass and wiped them down on her jeans. The last thing she wanted to do was get into a back-and-forth about that incident. Again.

“Why are we here?” Lute asked, her eyes snapping up and glaring at Adam. “What’s even the point of meeting here tonight? For you to -”

“Hey! Are you guys ready to order?” Another overly chirpy waitress was back, her smile almost blinding Lute. Her teeth were so white, it was alarming.

Lute stared at her menu, not registering anything that was on it.

“Usual for me, thanks babe,” Adam said, handing his menu back to the waitress. They both looked expectantly at Lute. Shit. She scanned the menu again, but nothing jumped out at her as particularly enticing. Truthfully, she didn’t particularly care for food – to her, it was just fuel to keep herself going.

“Uh, I’ll just have what he’s having. Thanks.”

Adam stared at her incredulously as the waitress took her menu and sauntered off, her small wings flapping happily.

“I’m not sure that was the best choice,” he said, eyeing her wearily. “I ordered –”

“I didn’t know what to pick, okay? I don’t really eat this stuff.”

“What do you eat, then?”

“What is this, twenty-fucking-questions?” Lute snapped. “I don’t have the time, or the patience to play bullshit games with you. What do you want?”

They both glared at each other from across the table, Lute’s golden eyes boring into the screen of Adam’s mask. For what felt like minutes, neither of them spoke.

The loved-up couple next to them were now tangled together atop a single dining chair, making out sloppily, the noisy smack of their lips filling the awkward silence. Lute’s eye twitched in annoyance, and she had to turn her head so she couldn’t see their tongues being shoved down each other’s throats.

“Shit, that’s annoying,” Adam scowled, taking a sip of his wine.

“If they keep going, they’re going to end up fucking on the table in front of us. Gross.” Lute muttered, also drinking. Their eyes met again, though this time there was the slightest hint of a smirk behind Adam’s mask.

He sighed and looked away, frowning.

“Lute. I’m going to level with you,” he said, leaning his forearms onto the table. “We need to make this work. The stakes for Extermination Day are fucking high this year.”

“What do you mean?”

 “Sera – ” Adam cut himself off, frowning. Lute studied him with mild curiosity as he paused, collecting his thoughts, his hand rubbing his chin. “Sera… she’s put a lot of faith in your proposal. And I won’t bullshit you – I thought it was a load of crap when I first read it. Too much math involved. If I can’t do the sum using my fingers, it’s too fucking hard.”

“Good thing calculators have been invented.”

“Wouldn’t know, I’ve never used one. Smartass. Anyway, after you left today, I took the time to read it again. I’ll admit, there’s…potential for it to work. But speaking from experience babe, a few adjustments need to be made.” Adam reached for his glass and swirled his wine, taking a sip once he was satisfied the burgundy liquid had been aerated enough. “Wanna hear them?”

Lute crossed her arms. “What are you getting out of this? I’ve worked with you for many years. I know you don’t offer anything up unless you’re getting something out of it.”

“You’re right. I don’t.”

“Spit it out, then.”

“Fine. Stop being such a fucking bitch all the time.”

“Excuse me?” Lute spat, her eyes automatically wandering to the steak knife set in front of her.

“You heard me, Lute. Statistically, you might be my top girl, but you rank dead last on my list when it comes to personality. Maybe if you loosened up and had a little fun –”

“Dinner’s here!” Two very large, very meaty plates were set down on the table in front of each of them. Lute wrinkled her nose, immediately regretting her decision to blindly order her dinner.

She should have known Adam would have ordered ribs, considering he waxed lyrical about them on an almost-daily basis. There had to be at least two dozen on each plate, all covered in a sticky glaze. Just lookingat the plate was giving her the sweats. She glanced over at Adam, who was watching her reaction intently.

“You know,” he began uncertainly, eyeing the sheer volume of food between the two of them. “You don’t have to eat that. You can always order someth-”

“I’ll eat them.”

“Sure? There’s a lo-”

“I’ll be fine. I bet,” Lute added, folding her arms across her chest, an unknown bravado washing over her, “I can keep up for you, rib-for-rib.”

Adam choked on the sip of wine he’d been taking.

“You’re not fucking serious!” he spluttered, wiping his screen with the back of his hand.

“Did I stutter?” She picked up one of the ribs, instantly regretting her declaration that she’d eat what looked to be her entire bodyweight in meat. Why couldn’t she have picked a normal meal, like a steak? Steak would have been safe. Steak would have been easy. Steak wouldn’t have ignited her competitive streak and didn’t come with potential digestion issues.

But no. She just had to open her mouth. And if there was one thing that Lute did not do, it was back out of a challenge. Especially one that she initiated.

“Ready?”

“Lute, this isn’t a good idea, I mean it, the ribs are –”

Staring Adam down, she held the ends of the rib in each hand and tore a chunk off meat off with her teeth. She grimaced – the glaze was sickly sweet, and they were…

“– spicy.” Adam said, wincing.

She maintained eye contact as she chewed, hating herself for not thinking before speaking. The meat burned her throat as she swallowed, the spice hitting her nose and tears prickling at her eyes.

Lute closed her eyes and bit into the rib again, stripping the meat from the bone completely.

“You,” Adam started, picking up a rib of his own and shaking his head, “are the craziest bitch I’ve ever met, you know that, right?”

Lute wiped her mouth with the back of her hand and tossed the bone onto the spare plate on the table. “Try and keep up, Sir.” She reached for another piece of meat and noticed Adam staring at her, an unusual expression depicted on his mask. “What?”

“You called me ‘Sir’.”

“And?”

He shrugged. “It wasn’t sarcastic.”

Lute grabbed her napkin, wiping her nose which has started to run. “Must have slipped out. I can assure you it won’t happen again.” 

She watched with vague interest as Adam started eating. It wasn’t the first time she’d seen him consume food – in fact, he regularly ate at his desk in their shared office. It was the first time though, that she focused on the food disappearing into the void of his mask.

Because it did exactly that. It just… disappeared. Almost like there was nothing underneath.

Maybe…maybe that was actually his face, and she’d been wrong about it being a mask all along.

“How does that thing work, anyway?” She managed to swallow rib number three considerably easier than the first two.

“Holy magic, babe.”

“Care to elaborate?” Four down, twenty to go. Her stomach churned at the thought.

“Who’s playing twenty questions now?” he snapped suddenly, glaring at her. “Drop it.”

“So you’re allowed to interrogate me, but I can’t ask you anything?” Another rib done. She was getting hotter, and Lute could feel the sweats starting to kick in. Wiping her glaze-covered hands on her napkin, she shrugged out of her jacket and hung it on the back of her chair. The cool air was welcomed on her skin, and she silently thanked herself for choosing a top with thin straps.

“I didn’t say you couldn’t ask me anything. For example, if you were to ask me if I’m surprised that you own feminine clothing,” Adam waved a hand at her, “I’d say yes.”

Lute scowled. “I’m feminine.” She ripped the meat off rib number six with her front teeth, holding the bone expertly now with one hand. Wiping her mouth with her hand again, she reached for her wine and sipped steadily, using the liquid to help wash the food down.

“You’re the least feminine Exorcist in the fucking army.”

“That’s because I’m the only one you haven’t slept with.”

“Not true. I haven’t slept with the ones that are into chicks.” Adam counted the rib bones on his plate. “I’m at nine, by the way, what about you?”

“How are you at nine? I started before you, and I’m only on seven. And that’s just great. Wonderful. I’m the only straight one you haven’t touched. That makes me feel amazing.” Lute gnawed at her rib, her face flushing in embarrassment.

It wasn’t like she considered herself attractive or anything like that. Truthfully, she’d never thought about it because her appearance had never been of high importance to her. Sure, she liked her hair cropped a certain way, and she’d very rarely wear a small amount of makeup on special occasions, but that was the extent of it.

Moodily, she threw the bone down, not caring where it landed, and reached for another piece of meat.

“Shit – I, uh, didn’t realise you were into dick.” Adam at least had the gall to look somewhat embarrassed. “I just assumed you and Vaggie –”

“You assumed Vaggie and I what?” she growled.

“I’m not judging, babe!” Adam held his glaze-covered hands up in defence. “Love is love, right? And, between you and me, there’s nothing hotter than watching a woman eat pu -”

Lute chucked her eighth bone at him in disgust, cutting him off and hitting him square in the chest. The couple to their left, who had been arguing all night, stopped their bickering and glared at her.

“The fuck are you looking at?” Lute snarled at them, fingers wrapping around the steak knife that still lay atop the table. “You bitches have been going back and forth all night, but me throwing food somehow offends you?” She pointed the blade of the knife at them. “Turn around and shut the fuck up before I –”

The women stood hastily from their table and scurried towards the exit, one of them tossing Lute a scared look over her shoulder. She sighed, satisfied, and grabbed another rib, hand still on the knife’s handle.

“You,” Adam began wearily, shaking his head, “are a fucking nutcase. You know that, right?”

Lute shrugged and kept eating. “I don’t suffer fools.”

“I can see that.”

“Which is why you irritate me so much.”

“I’m no fool,” Adam declared, counting his rib bones out with his finger, starting over once as he accidentally confused himself. “I’m more than halfway done, by the way.”

“Me too. And yes, you are a fool.”

Adam crossed his arms and sat back in his chair. “Before our dinner came, I was trying to explain how, if we tweak your proposal slightly, you’ll have more success with your training plan.”

Exhaling, Lute closed her eyes. She was starting to feel nauseous and if she kept going, she was going to be sick. Maybe she was the fool. “I’m pretty sure you were in the middle of calling me an uptight bitch with a shitty personality, actually.”

He clicked his fingers. “That’s it! Thanks for reminding me.”

Lute opened her eyes and narrowed them at him.

“What? You’ve just jogged my memory. Anyway, you’ve been riding the girls too hard,” he stopped to snigger at his choice of words, and Lute rolled her eyes at his immaturity as she grabbed more ribs. “You need to give them some time off.”

“They already get weekends and evenings off, what more do they need?”

 “A night out on the town.”

“You’re telling me,” Lute said, pointing her bone at him accusingly, “that the reason you dragged me out to this stupid restaurant is so that you can propose some kind of night of fucked-up debauchery with your harem of women? And I’m meant to be okay with that?”

“Settle down, Dangertits. As hot as a harem would be, I’m thinking more a night at a bar with a few drinks. Let the girls have a good time.”

“And by a ‘good time’ you mean get them drunk enough so they’ll sleep with you?” Lute snorted, starting on a fresh rib. She noted that there were only a few remaining on her plate. She couldn’t wait to get home and take her pants off, because she felt like she was going to burst from the sheet volume of food she had consumed that night. She was so uncomfortable.

“Hey,” Adam said, sounding slightly wounded. “I’ll have you know I don’t fuck drunk chicks. I might be an animal, but I’m not a predator.”

“Congratulations, you have one redeeming personality trait.”

“That’s rich, coming from you.”

“Oh that’s right, I forgot. I’m the unfuckable, unfeminine, uptight bitch, right?” Lute gulped down the rest of her wine before reaching for her second-last rib.

Adam cocked his head. “I never said you were unfuckable. I said I’d slept with all the Exorcists that I thought were straight. Which, up until about half an hour ago, I was not aware included you.”

Desperately wanting to end this conversation – and the night, Lute held up her final large, juicy rib. “Last one.”

She was sweating, bloated and her throat felt like it had been ripped apart and set on fire, but she’d done it. She’d kept up. Rib-for-rib, like she’d challenged.

Adam raised his eyebrows and downed the rest of his wine. “Fuck me dead, Lute. I thought you’d struggle to get through six with the way you started out.”

Lute shrugged. “Yeah well, I proved you wrong, didn’t I?”

“Yeah, and you also managed to scare the fuck out of the couple next to us. I’ve seen you slaughter thousands of sinners over the years, but honestly, I think it’s your tongue that’s the most terrifying thing about you.”

Lute smirked. “I guess it is.”

And with that, she took the rib whole in her mouth, closing her eyes as she sucked the meat clean off the bone. Once she’d finished, she opened her eyes and set it down on her plate atop the others. Adam was eyeing her with a pained expression.

“I don’t know if I should be turned on or disgusted by that,” he muttered, avoiding eye contact. “But I was definitely wrong about thinking you weren’t into dick after watching you deep throat that massive piece of meat.”

Lute rolled her eyes. “It’s always one step forward and two steps back with you, isn’t it, Sir?”

“You know it, Dangertits. So what do you say? Can the girls have a night of fun?” He extended his hand over the table.

Lute considered it for a moment before reaching forward and shaking it. His handshake was incredibly firm, and she was surprised to discover that the span of her entire hand was almost the same size as the width of his palm. She couldn’t believe she hadn’t noticed how massive his hands were before now.

“Fine. One night out, and then back to regular training.” She quickly let go and exhaled, wishing the remainder of the meeting would come to an end soon so she could go home and unbutton her pants.

After all, how bad could one night at a bar be?

***

Next time: We find out that a night at a bar can be very, very bad. ...or good.

[quindread]

Constanstine starts acting sober on important missions/meetings for the JLD; he has a sanity-potion dealer

Zatanna reports this odd behavior to Batman, they interrogate him when his veins are swamped with alcohol.

C: … I-I know what yer doin’ [hiccups]

Z: We care for your well-being. You have bouts of sobriety that you seem to have control over.

B: Are you on something new?

C: M’yeah… is called a pwoz—piss—poise! Poise potion, yeah das it!

B: And who makes this “Poise” potion?

C: My dealah, my busniz. G’way! [stumbles out the door]

Z: … That went as well as expected.

Sober Constantine is actually more reasonable. Batman catches him after a meeting.

B: [observes his brushed hair and very high-quality, new trench coat] You’re sober… Congratulations?

C: Uhuh. Did you need something? I have some business elsewhere.

B: With your dealer?

C: [affronted] Wha—Who in their right bloody mind would dare call Celest that?

B: You did.

C: ….

B: Who’s Celest?

C: Oh, fuck me!

Constantine gives him an address - it’s in Milan, Lombardy (Region of Italy). He specifically instructs him to come as a civ along with Red Hood and Robin with the threat that he will erase their memories if they so much as go into detective mode.

Bruce Wayne and his two wayward children enters the teahouse and is led by the hostess to a private room. They are served with tea and light snacks that they know even Alfred would more than approve of.

A door opens - they didn’t even know it was one with the way the molding blends into each other seamlessly. And out came one of the most enchanting woman Bruce has ever seen. He’s seen his fair share of attractive females but he has never been star-struck like he should be - as if he were back to his pre-pubescent days.

M: Constantine said you’d be here.

B: [realizes that this person was Constantine’s dealer and was 100% magic] You’re his dealer?

*Jason and Damian who saw the look on their dad’s face snicker at his opening line*

M: [raises and elegant eyebrow at Bruce] And you must be his work associates?

J: Something like that, lady. I’m Jason, kid’s Damian, and the one who can’t stop staring at you is our Dad, Bruce.

*Bruce grumbles and Marinette smirks*

M: I’m Marinette. It’s a pleasure to meet you.

D: [gestures at Bruce] Pleasure is all his, Marinette.

B: [red at the ears] Their Grandfather thought them better, I swear.

M: Mhmm. I guess he didn’t teach them how to not die then?

The guys: ….

Jason gets a more potent version of the potion Constantine consumes - it’s a prescription that he has to come for every month. Damian gets a charm; ear cuffs because he does whatever her wants, a spontaneous orbital piercing is nothing. And Bruce gets Mari’s number.

(Tim also gets forwarded in his fave fashion label’s waitlist from the near thousands to the fourteenth - his first consultation coincides with Jason’s next appointment.)

AN: Some posts/fics call Mari Celestial Guardian. Idk where and when that happened - I have abandoned canon a long time ago. These are all pulled from my days in the maribat blackhole (still kinda stuck there). I basically pulled this out of my archives so they at least get the chance to see the daylight.

Addressing Brucinette: I have a whole re-written MLB plot in my archives where everything is more brutal and the miraculous aren’t actual pieces of accessories. Like there’s an initiation to the order and stuff like that. I normally don’t enjoy aging up characters in crossovers but Brucinette just works. I have a secretary AU somewhere (it’s tragic and I’m considering scrapping it if I find it). And I also have deep-rooted issues that wants me to write Good!Dad Bruce who has Mari breathing down his neck when he so much as raises his voice at his children (Muminette/Mominette is another breed scary). And those tropes where Mari sees right through Brucie? Has a second sense for the when the batkids are in/causes trouble? Love those. I WILL FIGHT FOR THIS SHIP. (Jk people are free to dislike this. I get it.)

[roseshower]

Who Would've Thought A Crack Pairing

—would have me in a chokehold like this??? Seriously, in what world (this one) would I have ever come across a Damian Wayne x Marinette Dupain-Cheng fanfic and loved it to the point where I'M writing about them??? Dear God.

Alright so. Hey. Shameless call out for a ficlet I'm writing about (okay so I KNOW I haven't been updating my other ones...). Wait before I continue—look. My favorite of all the Batfam is Damian Wayne. He's like. My kid. My child. Sure he stabs the shit out of his family at first but he ain't do nothing wrong bruh he's just misunderstood fr. And then there's Marinette. My favorite character from back when I was in middle school. I thought it would be silly to look up some MLB x Batman Fics and. Jesus Christ. I found MANY. (Not enough.) And then I saw "Damian Wayne/Marinette Dupain-Cheng | Ladybug" and I thought??? No fucking way??? IS THIS REAL

I read the fic. Which fic? I won't gatekeep. "No, Mr. Wayne, You Can't Adopt Me!" by ggomoz (ggomo_springtime) on Ao3 is a FUCKING BANGER I read it for shits and giggles because I was like "hah???? NO WAY" and my god. My GODDDD it was AMAZING. I know I sound like I'm glazing rn but my god y'all have to read it if you guys like Damian x Marinette shit. And also Marinette having great interactions with the BatFam. Primarily Bruce Wayne, as you can see by the title.

But yeah. Holyyyy hell. That was one of the fics that inspired mine. The other was "the reports associated with my existence have been significantly misconstrued" by davidstennant on Ao3 and ANOTHER was "for us to collide" by LadyLiterature on Ao3.

ANYWAY. Enough rambling. The whole reason for this post was to present to you the fic I've been working on...

Help! My Boss Is In Love With Me!

Synopsis:

Rumors say that the youngest son of Bruce Wayne is in love with his assistant. Marinette immediately debunks these rumors—her grouchy boss has no love in his body for anyone, let alone for her. So then, if it's just a rumor, why does she keep catching him staring at her like she's just hung the moon?

Or, Damian Wayne accidentally acquires feelings for his lovely assistant Marinette, much to his frustrations and everyone else's delight.

Now... I know what you're thinking... "Ana what the fuck is this" and to tell you the truth I DONT KNOW??? DAMIAN X MARINETTE IS BEATING THE SHIT OUT OF ME

but yeah if you guys want a lil taste for what you may be reading, I'll throw a crumb rn

Internally, he wilts at the sight of her perfection.

The feelings have grown more over the years he's had the luck of having her working for him, and they came to a head months ago in the middle of a cumbersome night of dealings he wonders how his father dealt with all on his own.

And it's because he saw her run into the damn glass door of his office.

[sleptwithinthesun]

a personal (and very extremely late) fill for the🤞and 🥰 prompts on the spring prompts list, written for t/im d/rake from d/c c/omics. yes, i'm aware it's summer. however, i started this fic over two years ago and it needs to be done.

2K words, next part of the t/imber college au. hope you like it!!

"Look at me for a second?" Bernard asks, tapping the eraser end of his pencil against his notebook a couple of times, just to ensure that he has Tim's attention. It lands just to the right of his half-finished sketch of his roommate, who's typing a lab report up on his laptop on the other side of the library table. 

Tim complies, glancing up and making brief eye contact to show Bernard the slowly-emerging freckles scattered over his cheeks and the ever-present, bruise-like bags under his eyes. They've been getting worse lately, probably due to the arrival of the spring season and its various allergens, even though Tim started taking Benadryl towards the beginning of March. They're now a week into April, with allergy season in full swing.

Bernard's gaze sweeps over Tim's face, and then he squints down at his drawing. After a moment of deliberation, he goes back over Tim's lash line and carefully shades a touch lower and darker than he was previously. "Thanks." 

"No problem," Tim replies, coughing quietly into a fist a second later. It sounds chesty, same as it has been for the past few weeks, and Tim just keeps going, like someone's scratching at his lungs. Which, to be fair, is probably how he feels about the whole thing. He's been getting worse at night recently, waking both himself and Bernard up at early hours in the morning with coughing fits. 

There's not much either of them can do about it, though, and Bernard's not been sleeping well, anyway. Not to any fault of Tim; he's just been… wondering. About some things. Regarding Tim, sure, but not because of him. Nevertheless, he's been staying up with him until his roommate manages to fall back asleep congested snores emanating from his side of the dorm. 

Not for the first time since they'd arrived at the library, Tim suddenly drops his chin towards his chest, eyes pinching shut tightly before his shoulders give a minuscule jerk forwards. He barely manages a shallow inhale before the motion repeats twice more, and then blinks a few times, sniffling quietly into his sweatshirt sleeve. Also not for the first time, Bernard murmurs, "Bless you."

"Ugh, sorry, I don't think I'm dohh—" He cuts himself off with another silent double, and then a third pair for good measure. "Oh, fuck me," Tim mutters, a bit breathless. 

"Christ, bless you times... how many even was that, seven total? They're so quiet; it's hard to tell." Tim nods to confirm the number, his eyes bleary from sneezing as he rubs a knuckle against the side of his nose to quell the remaining itch instead of responding verbally. "Bless you times seven. Why do you sneeze like that, anyway?" 

Tim blinks at him, clearly confused. "Like what?"

"Like… you're completely stifling to the point where they're silent." Bernard fumbles to explain, trying to find the right words without sounding insane. "I don't know anyone who can do that without using their hands or something. It's kind of... uh, impressive, to be honest, but can I ask, why do you sneeze that way? Is there a reason, or is it just...?"

"I don't know," Tim says, then shrugs. "I never really thought about it. It's polite, I guess, to make them quieter. Doesn't bother anyone else."

And Bernard-of-several-months-ago would have simply been content to have even gotten an answer out of Tim in the first place, would have accepted his word without a second thought. But Bernard-of-now can see the little flicker in Tim's eye, the one that means he's lying to him, which makes no sense, because what does Tim have to lie about?

It's a sneeze. There's no backstory to it, as far as Bernard is aware of. It's simple, it's thoughtless, it's inherent. Sure, he knows that people can hold back their sneezes if needed, but at it's base, it's a reaction, and one that's hard to control. The level to which Tim can manipulate his own, though, speaks to something far more complicated than Bernard can even begin to form connotations to.

For now, he has to let it go. Everything about Tim is a mystery, and the code to deciphering him is written between the lines of Dick's offering of his and Jason's phone numbers. So, unless Bernard texts one of them to ask why Tim sneezes weirdly, which is quite possibly the most bizarre question he could even raise, he's on his own.

Don't let it be said that Bernard Dowd doesn't love a challenge.

-

Over the remainder of the week, Bernard keeps an eye on Tim as if he's a sentry assigned to stand guard over him. He does feel weird about it—almost stalkerish, which, honestly and a bit embarrassingly, isn't exactly new to him—but it's not like Bernard's trying to learn anything he didn't already know about Tim's personal life. He lives in the same room as Tim, for crying out loud. Objectively, he's not doing anything wrong. At least, that's how Bernard justifies it to himself.

He's aware that he's being all Bernard about it, looking too deeply into it when, in reality, it's probably nothing more than Tim preferring not to draw attention to himself. At the same time, Bernard can't help but feel as if there's something more to it. After all, Tim decided to hide the fact that he was missing a whole-ass organ for a semester; he truly wouldn't put it past Tim to somehow have a buried trauma about sneezing. It would only make sense for him.

To be perfectly honest, though, Tim is boring.

Bernard didn't notice it in their fall semester, when Tim was being avoidant for the most part and didn't trust Bernard enough to reveal anything about his personal life. Apparently, he wasn't missing out. Tim studies more than anything, and even when he's not studying, he's doing homework or reading or something equally uninteresting. It makes his observation of his roommate very dry.

Until the moment where he invites Tim to sit outside.

They're moving through the quad together, Tim having just attended his linguistics class and heading into a free period while Bernard's done with classes for the day. The April weather is gorgeous, with a nice breeze cutting through the heat of the day. It's so nice, in fact, that Bernard asks—

"Want to stay outside for a bit?"

Tim's steps pause for a moment, hesitating. "Why?"

Bernard can barely stop himself from staring in shock at him. Sure, he grew up in the city, but he spent every moment that he could in the park. "it's... nice?" he ventures. "Plus, you could use more sun."

"First, rude. Second, if you insist." Tim sighs, glancing around for a place to sit. "As long as we're not directly in the sunlight."

Bernard rolls his eyes. "Sure, whatever. Vampire."

Tim scoffs at him, following Bernard as they move to take a seat in the shade underneath a tree. He only seems vaguely annoyed, meaning that he does actually care, at least a little bit. They're not at the point yet where Tim's comfortable being jokingly annoyed or mad with Bernard, since Bernard did it to Tim once and ended up sending Tim into a spiral for the next day over whether he was actually upset.

So. His annoyance here is at least vaguely interesting.

"hn'x! ngt! hnk'tt!"

"Bless you," Bernard murmurs. Tim shakes his head and immediately goes to sneeze again, sitting up with his head tipped back slightly, eyes half-shut, mouth partly open as his breath hitches quietly.

"hh...hi'h? hHhh—" He's trying to hold it back and is failing miserably. "—hk't! hxxt! hn'gt! h'hHn'gt-sh!"

"Bless you."

"Why'd you want to be out here?" Tim asks, voice nasal. His head immediately bobs down toward his chest again, nose pressed into the crook between his thumb and pointer finger to at least give himself a semblance of modesty. This set is even more numerous than the first, each sneeze coming in rapid succession.

Bernard sits up straighter in alarm. "Uh... exactly how allergic are you to pollen?"

Tim's response is another rapid set of sneezes.

"You need to get better at putting your foot down," exclaims Bernard, grabbing Tim by his free wrist and hauling him upward as Tim sneezes again and again, each perfectly stifled and barely making any sound. The only reason, Bernard reflects, that he can hear them is because Tim's sneezing too much to fully have control.

"You're—gxt'sh!—telling me," Tim gasps out. Mockingly, he attempts to add, "You could use more su'h'nxt! hxt'ch!"

"Okay, Sneezy, let's get back to the very climate-controlled indoors," says Bernard, hastily dragging him toward the building.

-

Tim's lying down on his bed when Bernard walks into their dorm, three days after the incident, absently staring up at the ceiling. There's nothing taped up there—Bernard checked.

"You okay?"

"Fine," replies Tim. "Just... thinking."

Bernard sets his backpack down next to his bed, placing the binder in his hands down on top of his comforter to ensure he doesn't forget about the homework in it. "Anything in particular?"

Tim shrugs, which is his way of saying Yes, but I don't want to talk about it. Bernard had given up on trying to interpret all of Tim's nonverbal signals on his own and reached out to Dick the day after Tim's allergy attack; Dick had informed him that reading Tim was like learning a new language. He wasn't very communicative at best, even with members of his own family, and it took Dick years to figure everything out. Jason is still struggling, apparently, which Dick attributes to Jason being in college while Tim was adjusting to living with the Waynes. He's gradually been passing tips onto Bernard, trying to make his living experience a tad easier.

Uncertainly, he walks over to Tim's side of the room, stopping just short of sitting on the bed with his roommate. Looming over him feels like an equally terrible option, and Bernard just stands there for an awkward moment.

"This is a little creepy."

"You're one to talk," Bernard says before having the chance to properly filter himself. He's trying to get Tim to open up, here.

Tim huffs out a laugh, then sniffles quietly. "Just sit down."

Bernard does. Neither of them say anything for a long minute, with the silence frequently broken by Tim's soft sniffles as he continues fighting off the pollen in the air.

"You know you can sneeze, right?" he blurts out. Tim doesn't blink. "Like, around me. I don't mind, I promise."

When Tim doesn't respond, Bernard keeps rambling. "It's just that, every single time I've seen you sneeze you're stifling. No matter what. Even if you're alone in the room, you don't make any noise, and, like, it's worrying me. It's not, um, normal. Not that you're not normal, obviously, but—"

"Bernard."

"Yeah?"

"Shut up."

Bernard rolls his head to look at Tim. His roommate is still looking at the ceiling instead of at him, but he's talking.

"I was..." He pauses, starts over. "My parents very much believed in the adage of children being seen and not heard. To them, my silence wasn't an expectation, it was a strict necessity for me."

"Tim..."

"For whatever reason, they included normal bodily functions in that." Tim scoffs, but it's devoid of any feeling, as if he's making the noise only because he's expected to show disapproval toward his parents. "Coughing, sneezing, anything like that was taboo. So, I learned to keep quiet."

"You know that's not okay, right?"

"I've heard that nearly a thousand times from Dick and Jason." Now, he turns to face Bernard. "I'm aware."

Bernard sighs. "Do you believe it?"

A moment of silence. Three different emotions pass over Tim's face, too quickly for Bernard to parse through them all, but something sad is certainly there. "I'm working on that," he says eventually.

"That's good," replies Bernard, and they fall back into silence before Tim sneezes adorably, much like a baby kitten.

"hk'sh'iew!"

"Oh my God."

"Shut up!"

[a-traveling-void-human]

Prompt I stole from Reddit and implied tons of BKDK to!!

[Part two: Mentors!]

This trope is very universal, and what I meant is that this prompt came from alot of people so uh- yeh. Still if you feel I stole your brain juice, give me a call! (Ngl this idea is kinda mostly my own thoughts but I digress)

One of my favorites Izuku-centric ideas that came out of Reddit are always those that explore the "smart mastermind" potential that Deku has, but the thing is. I always crave BKDK in it somehow, EVEN IF IT'S JUST IMPLIED!! I am obsessed I know, but hey! What chu can do with that lmao? So, What if Kacchan is ALSO involved in the chaos?

Nezu! 🐁🤍

Ah yes! Mentor (Parental) Nezu is another favorite trope of mine to read! I'm not sure why I liked it so much since Nezu as a character is not really a fleshed out character in MHA as far as I know and mostly he's seen as the villain in some fics which.. is sad really. BUT the fics that's I've read so far under the tag of Mentor Nezu is ALWAYS fun to read!

Example:

Zutopia

Substitute (Series)

We be Gremlin

And probably more because I have a memory of a gold fish

Usually fics that has Mentor Nezu are fics with td/dk and Shinsou or the three of them. Which, is not what I wanted.. and the ones with Kacchan only have him there? Like, sure. Most of these fics are Deku centric but I'm kind of interested at the idea of Kacchan is also present and being Mentored.. So I'm making an idea of my own! Maybe I'll write it down- or someone can pick it up.. who knows!

Plot for "The world is our Playground"

Katsuki. The one with the strong quirk, the one with a brash personality. The Golden goose of Aldera. That kid. Yeah, Katsuki doesn't like that fucking title.

Sure, all that is true but it doesn't mean he wants to be remembered, but only with that? Sure, being remembered with a powerful quirk means he will eventually be the number one once he's a hero.. right?

One day though during his middle school years, something interesting happened. While he was walking home with the extras, he saw something alarming in a guy. Everyone seemed to find the person normal but his hunches have always never been wrong and Katsuki is so tempted to just blast the guy up off his face. Obviously he can't. 

So, he did the next best thing. Memorise the person's appearance and send the information to a trusted source. 

Something that others seemed to overlook when it comes to Katsuki is that, he might be brash and full of himself, he is also very dang observant. He won't remember your name, but that doesn't mean he forgets your face.

Then there's a matter of sending this information to. Katsuki knows that the police force will just ignore this information.. and honestly, Fair enough. Even with Katsuki's pride, he knew that people call his people analysis skill just a mere "hunch". Then again, if he could be a hero like this, then why the fuck not start now? He thought of it on his way back home, (ignoring the extras,) then typing a report for the specific facial features, reason why the report exists and sending it straight to UA. After He's done, he continues with his routine and fucking ignoring whatever he had done earlier.

The next morning, he woke up and did his usual Saturday routine. Nothing new, nothing interesting, until he fucking saw the news. The guy. That's the fucking guy Katsuki saw just yesterday being charge for sexual assults of many woman down street. Apparently, the bitch had a quirk where he could change his face in a time frame of 24 hours and Katsuki just so happened to report the bitch ass right on the 1 hour mark. The guy got arrested 5 hours later.

Holy shit this is a fucking victory. Sure, he didn’t physically catch the bastard but he did inform whoever was in charge at that time. Katsuki felt the high of achieving something good and now he REALLY wanted to do it again. So it becomes somewhat of a routine that has been happening for months. Katsuki loves it. He might not get the fame but, he could probably put this in his resume. Katsuki was about to start his usual walk around the city, (that he calls an unofficial hero patrol), when suddenly his phone buzzed. Didn't he put it in silence?

Whatever, he'll just answer and continue his usual routine. 

that's where I will left off the plot for now.. To be honest this fic Idea has been rotting in my brain that it started to smell.. stinky. A friend of mind told me that there's an actual Manga of MS! Kats and Izuku working with each other which I will read if I ever decide to actually write this story.

And She also mentioned that I need to explain more of Katsuki's thought process when he does his "Hunch" moments. Which OH BOY I'm so up to research. I love humans expressions- and I really want to learn how to portray it both of my art and writing.

Key points of the plot.

Note: These plot points doesn't make sense and these points mostly focuses on HOW they become chaotic scary gremlins together.

Nezu taking Izuku as his personal student at the age of 9 (Fucking bizarre I know.

Katsuki starting his new routine of observing people in the city.

Nezu taking Katsuki after a month of Kat's hunch routine bullshit

Nezu telling Katsuki he knew he was the one who sent the anonymous report, that instead of doing things on his own, he could take him in officially as another of his personal students. Katsuki of course accepts.

Then Nezu started his first task for him titled, “Redemption.” This confuse Kats-

Then oh.. his other student is.. Deku.

Task Redemption is Katsuki's trial of being Nezu's student. Izuku deems this task unnecessary but Nezu won't take bullies into his school, but he also doesn't want a waste potential in a student. Nezu deemed that Katsuki can still learn so he also tasked Izuku with the task of his own. Task of Confidence. (This fic is a crack yes but I like to think that even if Katsuki did stupid shit, he was still a kid. So he deserves punishment but not his future being taken away from him.)

Task of Redemption: Observe your behaviour and realise your mistakes. (Basically he needs to back track his behavior and slowly realize his terrible behavior.. on his own. Nezu could have just thrown this boy to therapy but my Rat has his reasons)

Task of Confidence: Mimics someone's confidence to make it your own. (This task is so easy for Izuku... "Kacchan Sugoi!" and All that. But I think what Nezu meant by Mimicking, is to PUT those learning into his own personality.)

The two tasks are long period tasks that will act like a long time project. It will end once Nezu deems it so. He will also give the two cases to solve or work to learn and other things.

The tasks will take at least a year in a half to finish. After a long one sided screaming match, to actual brawl between the boys, the two started to finally talking and eventually being actual friends again. (This development kind of shocks Aldara and kind of tries to separate the boys because of it, which made Nezu plans to destroy the school.) By this time Izuku and Katsuki are best friends again, with rivalry the size of Mount Fuji, (Nezu encourages the rivalry and even hands them a point system).

Izuku still gets OFA in this AU, but with Nezu also being a part of the mentoring and Katsuki knowing from the start. (All Might does not know that though.)

Then Nezu gave them another Task. This time, it's a collaboration.

Theatrics of trust and lies

Izuku and Katsuki have to act like how they used to. No one can know their true relationship in the hopes of actually giving false assumptions of their true nature and learning to trust others while in the act. (Like how the fuck do you fool someone while LEARNING how to trust someone? Like, what chu mean by that Nezu??)

Basically Izuku and Katsuki have to fool everyone in the school while learning who they could trust for the future. This fucking task does not make sense and when Katsuki ask just that, Nezu just smiles and laughs and said. “The teachers of UA have been informed that I already picked two students as my personal students and I challenge them that if they could find them, they'll get a raise!”

“So in short, you want us to fuck with everyone's day?”

“Exactly!”

“That sounds delightful sir!”

“Hell fuckin yeah!”

Yeah, Nezu, Izu and Kats are chaotic in this story. You can tell that this is an ABSOLUTE CRACK STORY and honestly I'm tempted to name this fic the "Who can make Aizawa have a seizure the fastest this week?".

Nezu thoughts of the boys and plot kinda

Obviously Nezu sees them as his wonderful personal students. He mostly was fond of, Only, Izuku at first. I mean come on, the boy is smart, kind and has a heart of a hero.. but his self-image needs to be changed. Then there's Katsuki who he didn't even want to bring to UA after knowing what he did to Izuku. (Btw this is pre-slash and both boys are still in the start of middle school so Katsuki hasn't said the infamous line. He probably won't say it in this AU.) Yet Izuku still sees something in him and honestly? He trusted Izuku's judgment and decided to let Izuku message him to come and meet the principal himself in person. Of course he also grew fond of Katsuki and honestly he's now glad that the two are both his students before he have to watch him be an actual students in his school but not directly teaching them.

He also kept the fact that he have personal students a secret. Mostly wanting to get the HPSC out of his hair.. like how is he going to explain that the "Infamous wonder duo" are literal children he teaches? He's sure that they'll take his kids away and no thank you for that!

Nezu loves teaching the boys! He really do! So what if his teaching methods are "immoral?" Making sure society are in the hands of the capable future is what Nezu wants in the end! (Ah yes, nothing beats the "How to rule the country" talk during Tea.)

Little facts for Izuku in the main timeline

Still stutters but not as much.

He yaaaps more that he now knows at least 2 people will listen.

Secretly also loves the drama, but listens more when it comes to telling the story. Kacchan can explain it better anyway! Though he also will throw gasoline to an already burning fire.

"Kacchan Sugoi" is still apart of his vocabulary

Both Katsuki and Him are a menace in school. When they get along again, they'll always team up and will obliterate every other team left and right. The worst part is that no one can complain or separate them.

Is somewhat fit before OFA. Him and Katsuki has been training together

A wolf in sheep clothing (Nezu corrupt him) Still a hero of course.. but he will not be as merciful, when he reveals every dirt and skeletons you have hidden.

Great at acting. Sometime too great.

Focuses on Hacking and Learning information through datas.

Befriend Hatsume Mei along the way.

What's make Izuku and Katsuki different in terms of observing others is that, Izuku's specializes in Quirk observations which makes him also great at reading people but not as good as Katsuki.

Little facts for Katsuki in the main timeline:

Caring in his own way

Don't let his attitude fool you, he fucking loves drama. Nezu and him have tea over talking shit about other people. (Izuku is never in this line of topic)

A listener most of the time but also a yapper when it comes to certain topics.

Told himself that, "No Katsuki. You are not as insane like the Rat and Nerd! You're there because you NEED to make sure they both don't fucking die or worst, rule society without me." While in reality he is also chaotic.

Still admires All Might, but wants to fucking kick him in the NUTS.

Great at acting. Of course, Nezu teaches them both.

Still have temper issues but Nezu encourage his temper to be used into something good so they're working on how.

Still felt guilty about what he'd done to Deku.

His personality has mellowed down somewhat but still is as rude as ever.. just not around Deku and Nezu.

Between Izuku and Katsuki, Katsuki looks and had a different aura when silent. Like, he's usually loud... so when he's silent?

Focuses on Learning information through observation or word of mouth. People watching basically. Of course he can hack and decode shit like Izuku so sometimes the two switch positions when it comes to gathering information

That's the story plot so far. I apologize if this doesn't came out good but I really do like the idea of it! But between college and my brain being an asshole, I can't keep this idea in any longer. For now, I'm going to name this AU, the Chaos Duo.

I'll edit any mistakes if I see one.. for now I want to nap.

[kehkr]

i keep coming up with ideas for new fics but i really just need to update the fics i already have......

SO ANYWAY the fic idea is that kai is now an adult and ceo of hiwatari enterprises but he STILL doesn't give a shit. he goes through secretaries like they're fast food because he has unreasonable standards yet he skips meetings and important reports because idk- he's too busy jumping off the side of mountains for fun??? enterting back alley beyblade tournaments???? even tyson has moved on to taking over mr d's job but kai, nooooooo, he just rocks up to the tournament in a terrible disguise and expects tyson to not realise its him.

"kai you're too old for this!"

"fuck you!!!!!!"

anyway!

kai is a meance and his secretary, isobel, has to essentially plan his whole life, do his job for him and make sure he doesn't get into too much trouble whilst also trying to impress upon him the importance of acting like a normal responsible human being. it just so happens that isobel is just as insane as he is.

WELL I GUESS IM JUST GONNA WRITE SOME OF IT HERE? SOMEONE RESTRAIN ME

Isobel grinned, feeling an overwhelming sense of satisfaction as she opened up the calendar that she shared with her boss. Who cared what Voltaire wanted, he had stepped down from the company three years ago, this was really none of his business. After all, her job- in her opinion- was to make sure her that boss was happy, not Voltaire. He better appreciate this, thought Isobel as she typed in the schedule that she had come up with for the next week and pressed the update button. She reclined in her office chair, glad for at least a few moments of rest. Unfortunately, it did not last long. Within minutes her phone was ringing. The name on the screen flashing up, Kai Hiwatari. A feeling of dread spread through her chest. Maybe she had been wrong. "Hello?" she answered. "Why have you added a helicopter ride to my schedule next Friday?" he demanded coldly. Isobel tried her very best to be patient, taking a deep breath in before responding. "If you look at the next thing scheduled-" "Yeah, skydiving? Into…" he trailed off. "The arena…" he sounded confused. "You've scheduled me for the beyblade match?" "Of course, the only way I could fit it in was if you get the helicopter from the landing pad, the roads are so busy that time of day," she said curtly. There was a long pause. "But why did you schedule it in the first place?" "Did you not want me to? I'm very sorry Mr Hiwatari, if you'd rather I cancel the beyblade match-" "No!" he snapped, although Isobel was sure she heard an amused huff of air zoom down the phone. She smiled. "If you would also take note of the practice session the day before- we don't want you falling to your death. That would be a lot of paperwork for the firm and I don't think your Grandfather would be too pleased." "Yeah…" "Undoubtedly you will defeat your opponent in a timely manner," she continued smartly, "which will allow you time to get in the car that I have scheduled at 19:00 to take you to dinner with your fiancée, followed by an evening of drinks at the rooftop whiskey bar with your colleagues." "I- right. What's the little glasses emoji you've put at the end of the battle for?" "Mr Saien will check your beyblade over after the battle. I've also scheduled myself to meet him on Monday to give your beyblade a check-up before the match." "You contacted Kenny?" "I did." There was silence on the line which Isobel assumed could only mean that Kai Hiwatari could not find one thing to complain about. "Right. Well, uh. Good. I would have preferred not to have to go to the dinner and drinks-" "I believe it is essential to appease those who do not approve of your beyblading pursuits." "Eh- right." Her boss let out a long sigh. "Mm. Yeah. Good job Olgivy," and the phone went dead. Isobel span wildly in her chair. Kai Hiwatari had said she had done a good job! He had never said that to her, ever, in her whole entire month of working for him! Maybe she would be good at this after all!

(can't help but feel that this would suit a KaiXHil fic too lol)

[haechanhues]

KPOP FIC RECS

So I recently (like a couple of months ago) read Bowie’s Books by John O’Connell which is a series of essays exploring David Bowie’s list of 100 Books that transformed his life and I thought it was a way to make my own. These are all fics (in some way or another) that have been memorable in many different ways and I hope to share them with you all.

This is also a full on sap train so I thought you should be ready. I’m also weirdly nervous since this feels kind of vulnerable and makes me shy. but haiii

PART ONE | PART TWO | PART THREE | PART FOUR | PART FIVE

1. @hyuckiebabie - Bad Intentions | NCT (discontinued) 

Of course, I have to start with this. I have to. I’ve also just learnt that author-nim has since left tumblr. But the writing was beautiful and the connection that Haechan and the MC had with each other was absolutely alluring. God I felt things I have never felt before. This was quite awhile ago and I’m kind of sad I can’t reread it to boost my memory a bit more but I was super excited for every update. But aww I wish you could all read it even though it was discontinued, it still remains very memorable for me. 

2.  @beom1e​ - Love Is Not Easy | TXT (completed)

The fic that made me obsess over TXT fics for a very large portion of the year. I read it again and it’s so chaotic and erratic in the best way. I love these boys with all my heart and it was so fun to be able to read it and connect to it. There were different endings that were all really fun. The very first time I was a very big Yeonjun supporter but nowadays I feel a more Beomgyu lean. Hmm, I don’t know. So many options. Can’t forget about Soobin either. The best kind of crossroad ever. 

3. @dovechim - That’s Okay That’s Love | BTS (ongoing)

No because I’m frustrated my original comments about this didn’t save. I remember reading this and it was the first time I had read something involving mental health so blatantly and it just felt oddly satisfying. What I liked the most about this fic however was the way that every character was interwoven within the story without the sole purpose of their existence to be a ‘friend’ to the main character and give advice and put some sense into them nor to invoke drama. I liked that they each have their own story and plot and it’s so majestically done that I always have to applaud this story for it.

4. @jayflrt - The A List | ENHYPEN (one-shot) 

Ahhh yes, I finally get to talk about this. This was one of the first ENHYPEN fics I read and it definitely helped me stan them to the level I did. I love the ....friendship between the MC and Jay. I love the taste of the whole fic in general - the rich people shit and the drama and the need to just not be made into a total loser by an anonymous source. I’m not even being dramatic but this fic has a taste and it’s absolutely fucking wonderful I’m salivating. 

5. @fantasybangtan​ - Queen Cobra | BTS (ongoing) 

One of my utmost favourite writers on Tumblr and in general. I love this story with all my heart and it made me a total * girl. This fic always manages to have a hook on me in more ways than one and I was so excited to see that a chapter has been updated since I last read it. I hope to god you never stop writing. Ever. Such a talented person and a very special one at that. I sound a bit like teachers comments in student reports and I’m sorry. But I hope you feel how sincere I am in my recommendations to read this fic. You have to. Absolute art. 

6.  @caramellohigh - Not Such A Good Boy | THE BOYZ (ongoing) 

This is my favourite depiction of Juyeon, like ever. I remember seeing three times before I actually read it. First it popped up in my dash just randomly, then it was recommended (not specifically to me) but I had been wanting to read a few fics. I thank whatever higher power exists for this fic. I can’t explain myself but like it’s so good. I love the whole golden sweet nice sunshine boy being this person who isn’t actually all that sunny and saintly trope. I don’t know the proper name for it but I loved this. I can’t wait for more chapters such an exciting fic, I couldn’t put this fic down for the life of me. I had a lot to do today but I didn’t do it because I was reading this hahaha best decision ever. 

7. @theluckyyyoneee​ - Antipode | EXO (completed) 

OH MY GOD I JUST SAW THERE’S AN UPDATED CHAPTER, I’M GOING TO READ IT NOW. Okay okay I’m going back to writing normally so I don’t look like an idiot, but I love this fic with all my heart. So so warm. I love that Chanyeol is just a literal puppy throughout the fic. God I hope to see this couple again. In any way. I’ll take it. I remember I first read this when Chanyeol went to the military and reading the final chapter when he’s back literally feels like all is right with the world. I adore this couple. And with the risk of sounding cheesy as hell, this story smells of pine and appears like Christmas lights in the night and I think that’s the cutest fucking thing. 

8. @jungblue - Future Hearts | BTS (ongoing) 

I’ll be honest, before I came to Tumblr I always ignored recommendations for fan fics - simply because I had different tastes to the person giving the recs (they were a bit too much for me) and I just liked that fan fics were just my terrain to freely explore the fics available without in some form being attached to someone else (i was going through some shit obviously). Then this fic showed up and I took a chance on it. Best thing I’ve ever done for myself. I fell in love with writing all over again. I thought of colours differently. Everything. was just so different. I was super invested in the story. I would say it became so definitive of the person I was at eighteen, when life started changing. So thank you author-nim. From your forever fan <3 I hope all is well with you, you deserve the whole world y’know. 

9. @sankyeom - Break Your Rules | THE BOYZ (completed)  

Okay okay so, I love Sunwoo with my whole heart and one of my favourite tropes is brother’s best friend (disclaimer : it reflects to my life in no shape, way or form but we love a good ol’ forbidden love without the death involved) I first read this on my other account and it’s always one I seek out if I want a little thrill and a happy ending. Also the side characters are so fucking funny, I loved reading them. This fic is the treat your aunty tells you she shouldn’t be giving you but does anyway and you love her with your whole heart. So wonderful. Absolutely wonderful. 

10. @chittapornswife​ - DYNL Club | NCT (ongoing) 

A fic I’m forever fond of, I think. I always used to read this whenever I would go to class and it would keep me from having panic attacks. It would always leave me feeling fluffy and energised enough to get through an hour (or longer) class (and it wasn’t like the class was terrible, it just made me anxious.) I always link this fic to good things, or at least like it’s a bridge from being less than okay to recovery which is kind of ironic considering the content. It also has Haechan in it, which I’m thankful for. This story helped build my love for him in a way, I think. I’m truly grateful. 

11. @desayunho​ - Time Of Love | ATEEZ (completed) 

Oh my god it was a struggle deciding what fic to use but I decided on this one. It’s so beautiful. Oh my god I loved it. I read ‘Lovefool’ before this one and just knew that I had to hop on this train too. Lovefool blew me away and I knew it would happen with this one too. Absolutely after my own heart. I’m not one for poly fics (not against them either, I just don’t normally read them) but AHHH I’m screaming. The dynamic. The everything. This fic is everything. Thank you and good night. I love San and Wooyoung and ATEEZ AND author-nim, a special place in my heart is reserved for you and your artistry. 

12. @ballelino - Wedding Season | STRAY KIDS (completed) 

With the risk of sounding absolutely delusional, this fic helped me well and truly realise that I am never ever going to move on from Lee Minho. Like ever. The fic left me feeling very vulnerable but well protected? I don’t know how to form words but...  Everything was just perfect. Truly a foundation. It’s a fic I want to read for the first time again for the feelings I felt and the sensations I was going through. Truly a magical ride. I’m not even being sappy - this is me being totally brutally honest. I loved it for lack of better words. You know that question that goes ‘If the words ‘I love you’ didn’t exist what would you use?’...This fic. That’s it. My new love language. 

13. @thepixelelf - Hood | THE BOYZ (completed) 

This was well and truly a rollercoaster.. god I could remember it. I was on the edge of my seat every update. I loved the whole friendship and the back and forth. Ever since that first chapter it has been a favourite of mine and has remained one of my favourites since then. Also it was literally a year spent together with a fic and I don’t know why but this makes me feel more attached and feel more love for this fic even more. It’s beautiful and it’s literally like cuddling a teddy bear. I don’t know how else to describe it. If I could hug any fic it would be this one. Cause it deserves everyone’s high praises and I want someone to experience reading this fic to experience it and just tell me what they thought and we can go nuts over it. 

14. @seokjinsdisciple - Who’s Your Daddy | ATEEZ (ongoing) 

What a rollercoaster of events. These ATEEZ fics (not even just this one) has a special place in my heart but I’m here to talk about this one in particular. It’s so incredibly cute and angsty at the same time. Anything you ask for in a fic, you get it practically. It’s everything. It gives me everything. It gives me life. Seventeen chapters in and I've already tried finding a wizard to turn me into a puddle on the floor because I can’t cope. It’s absolutely brilliant. Ahhhh- also one of the authors to open the new door for me in terms of social media aus. I never thought I’d be into them but I really am and a large part is due to author-nim so thank you for this medium of storytelling and doing such a good job every single time. No misses. 

15. @aspenwritesstuff - Prove Me Wrong | STRAY KIDS (ongoing) 

HOW COULD I NOT INCLUDE THIS. I can’t even remember how I came to read it but I remember reading it and being so hooked the very first chapter. I am also extremely affectionate of you, Aspen. This story and everything about it. I love it. It’s cute and fucking interesting and I’m just so hooked and excited I cannot wait to see how the rest of the story pans out. Like truly amazing. I’m going nuts over just thinking about it. Absolutely wonderful and just truly cute. I don’t know what else to say but it’s so cute. So fucking cute. Ahhhh. Just screaming and yelling and hollering at this point. LIKE YEAH THIS IS ME. THIS IS HOW EXCITED I CAN BE. Can’t wait, Aspen, honestly (take ur time tho <3) 

16. @gyukult​ - We Don’t Usually Hold Hands | SEVENTEEN (one-shot) 

So usually whenever I read Mingyu books I’m used to player Mingyu or sugar daddy esque-Mingyu who’s very cool. I’m not hating it. I still most likely would read it. But I never knew how much I needed a fic where I could actually see Mingyu in it and I think it’s perfect. I fell in love with this fic at first read and I think it’s actually changed the trajectory of my life forever. I’m not even being remotely funny. It really has. I don’t know - I loved the humour, I love just how casual the romance was. Like it felt so natural and just so Mingyu I don’t know what else to say without rambling. I feel like this fic is especially for those who don’t necessarily believe in romantic love, for those who do and in love with the idea of love and just everyone in between. So everyone basically. It’s a necessity. 

17. @kyufiber​ - How To Be A Heartbreaker | THE BOYZ (completed) 

God, I love this fic so much I don’t know what else to tell you. This is an Eric fic but it felt like more than just that. I’m a Sunwoo girl, have been from the very first video I saw of these guys but everyone just-. Let me tell you how PERFECT this fic is. It went exactly the way I wanted it but every update was a blessing and a gift. Like...is this music? No but I’m honestly always starstruck by this fic. I have no way of formulating proper sentences, it’s amazing. It’s so good. It’s so good. It’s honestly- GOD, especially if you’re an Eric person. This is for you. For all of you actually - read it! I’m begging with my whole chest, my whole soul, everything about me that is me - read it. 

18. @starrgaziinggg​ - Friends With Benefits | STRAY KIDS (ongoing) 

I can’t remember exactly remember the 6 W’s of how, where, when I found this fic. But all I remember is that it was a god send during my Minho phase (that is still in fact going, don’t get me wrong). Every new update is so fucking fun for me and definitely has me all up in there. I love this version of Minho. It’s one of my favourites. Absolutely. This fic has been a newfound love of mine and I’ve enjoyed falling in love with it every single chapter and I know that won’t ever change. I’m a bit speechless I don’t know what to say, currently I’m looking at it and I’m so excited to talk about it but all I am right now is a blubbering mess that can’t string two words together to make a single sentence. But I really appreciate this fic and I can’t wait for more updates! <3 

19. @wooyunhwa​ - Kingdom Of Welcome Addiction | ATEEZ (ongoing) 

Although it’s been a couple of years since the last update, I am still going to praise and praise this fic as if it’s my sole purpose in life. I love the way the characters are and how there’s a whole world away from everyone else - as if its just the three of them in this demon vs angel love affair. Don’t even get me started on the writing - it’s so beautiful, detailed and I love how humour is incorporated into it. Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. It surprised me so much in such little but significant ways that I think sets apart this fic from others like it. Truly. 

20. @yeow6n - boyfriend!haechan tiktok series | NCT (ongoing) 

Ahhh my current go-to Haechan fic writer. God, I’m in love. Have you ever felt a connection with someone you haven’t talked to or anything but because you share that one thing you’re in it for life? This is it my friends. This. Every fic I’ve read is a love of mine and I’m so excited to write about it. They’re usually short and sharp but incredibly sweet and it just- it makes loving Donghyuck easier. Honestly author-nim came in at the right time and totally swept me off my feet. In love with it. In love with him. Stan author-nim for good Haechan content. Honestly I feel like calling you bestie which is one hundred percent out of character for me so I won’t - but I just want to let you know that the temptation was there and it was a strong one! 

[wttcsms]

okay, so just yapping and sharing lots of notes & minor spoilers & extreme details of what i have planned/going on for balancing act (which WILL see an update this month, trust 🤞🏻)

please please please, if u read this, lmk your thoughts & if ur picking up what i'm putting down or else i have to revise my outline LOL

what's fun about balancing act is that we get to see my take on gojo's character; i've received comments and asks saying how they like how i've written not just gojo, but all the in-verse characters we have & i'm excited to expand more on gojo's friendships with everyone around him bc as a fanfic writer, it's a fun challenge to see how in character we can get these people when they're thrown into a wildly different universe.

so, talking abt "my take" on gojo's character: he's a goofy guy. he's cocky; he's a flirt. he knows he's Got It All, and he definitely drives a fancy sports car w a custom license plate that reads SIXEYES (bc this is a finance bro au, everyone claims he must have six eyes w the way he never seems to watch the markets but knows exactly when and what to go all in with). BUT !!! i love balancing act bc gojo is not reduced to "cocky womanizer and then u 2 fuck despite claiming to not like him" we get to see gojo's character shine through in his actions, not only in how he treats reader but also in how he interacts with all the characters. he's silly, he plays pranks, he sometimes (almost always) is annoying, but the things he does for them is always stemming from genuine kindness 🥹 like, i have this thought (my finance girlies will understand what i mean/it'll be explained in the fic) that yuuji is interning at the firm for a summer but he's from a non-target school & doesn't come from the same circles as most of the people in finance; knowing that yuuji feels a bit alienated from his peers, gojo goes out of his way to make dorky company merch and requires that all interns wear it & OF COURSE, it's one of those vests with the firm's name monogrammed on it & it's so pretentious but it's a finance bro right of passage and he did this so yuuji would have that status symbol but he also didn't want to single him out. things like that 🥹 he's thoughtful and we need to talk abt it more and we will explore this more within the fic!!!!

and balancing act is so special to me because it's all about loving someone so much that the mundanity of life suddenly seems exciting; suddenly, the boring, not so glamorous parts of life are an opportunity to showcase how much you love someone. MINOR SPOILER, but a scene that's so sweet and exemplifies this is the fact that you live in a luxury apartment building. authorizing/registering a specific vehicle to your apartment's parking services is a pain in the ass, and it's even more annoying to take off a car from the car registry list. that's why any past boyfriends, u rarely let them into ur apartment (bc it's ur safe space, where u can just be urself entirely) and the ones who do make it to ur apartment always use guest parking, which has a time limit. we, in typical romcom fashion, get the adorable "you're sick and he takes care of you" trope!!! so you have a bad flu and gojo drives you to ur apartment and takes care of you, but he's not registered as an authorized vehicle so he has to go to guest parking. well, he spends days with you while u recover, and he sees all the parking fines on his windshield. it's $100 per every hour he goes over the time limit. it's been days. your doorman is a sweet man who is always looking out for u and never likes any of the boys u take home, and he beefs with gojo (for comedic purposes, i promise. it's a fun dynamic) and gojo knows it's the doorman who reported him to parking services. gojo ofc is returning to the apartment building, holding the stack of tickets in one hand (using the same hand to wave cheekily at the doorman), and goes back in ur apartment to show u all the tickets.

he doesn't hold it against u though. what he says is, "your doorman hates my guts." all pouty and whiny. you tell him that the doorman hates the guts of all the boys u bring back & that he shouldn't feel too special, and that this is his way of saying gojo's overstaying his welcome, which u find hilarious. and gojo is like "well, he's saying you're only worth $100 an hour." blah blah blah, BUT !! circling back to the mundanity of life and how it serves as an opportunity to show our love for someone:

you go through the trouble of registering gojo's vehicle under ur apartment. even though u keep saying gojo is annoying and a pain in the ass and that this fascination he has with u will eventually fade, even though u claim there's a time limit to his affections and you KNOW how much of a hassle it is to unregister his vehicle if things do go south for y'all... you still go through the trouble of registering his vehicle, a sign that you like him. a sign that you're hoping things will be permanent.

and that's basically a major point of the fic!!! that our actions, our silly, simple, boring actions, can all have special meanings 🥹 if you look for it, you'll see that love really is anywhere

[dreamerdoesthewritething]

[Part 9 incoming. I really should name this thing, other than always referring to it as the AFAB Bestie x Leon fic series. I just don't know what to name it lmao. Also the whole Friends With Benefits suggestion came outta nowhere. This thing has a life of its own, I swear! Contains spoilers for RE4R]

[Post with links to previous parts]

Leon treated you to dinner that night. Nothing fancy, but not simple fast food, either. A little dine-in experience, which was a nice change of pace from what the two of you usually had when you were together. Him paying was also different. The waitress did try to give him free dessert once she realized you weren't his girlfriend, but Leon immediately passed it over to you, much to her chagrin. She tried to slip him her number on a napkin, too, only to stare in shock as he tore it up in front of her and tossed it in the trash. He didn't even apologize. In fact, he reported her to her supervisor for making him uncomfortable. You almost felt bad for the poor waitress as Leon took you away from the restaurant at the same moment her boss started chewing her out. Almost.

Don't disrespect his friend by ignoring her or you'll find out his civility only goes so far.

It's a nice night out. Leon suggests going for that "goddamn walk" you mentioned earlier while finally opening up to him. You're grateful the streetlights aren't bright enough to give away how red you become from being reminded of that. There's a park of decent size not too far from the diner and your home, with a large pond that has a nice stone bridge that crosses over it. You've been to it many times in your life. Tonight feels different, though. There's something about it ...You just can't put your finger on it.

You walk by Leon's side, hands in the pockets of your jacket. Leon mirrors you. You notice he's not wearing his favorite jacket, the one your parents sent him for a birthday gift a couple of months ago. The brown sheepskin bomber, ridiculously expensive but well worth the cost in everyone's opinion, was missing. Leon had been wearing it every chance he had since receiving it. Why not now?

Noticing your quizzical gaze, Leon let out an awkward chuckle. "Your parents are gonna kill me."

"Why?"

"Because I lost an eighteen hundred dollar jacket in Spain," he replies.

"Wha--How do you lose a jacket in Spain?"

"Get knocked the fuck out and someone steals it while you're unconscious," he says, and it's so casual you almost dismiss it.

"Leon...I think the jacket is the least important part of what you just said. What the hell happened to you in--? Oh, right. You probably can't tell me. Classified, need to know, etcetera."

"Technically yes," he admits. "But I'll tell you, anyway, if you really want to know."

"I don't want you to get into any trouble because of me."

"I get into trouble all the time, whether I want to or not. If Uncle Sam says to jump, I'm not even supposed to ask how high. I just do what the man says." The bitterness is so strong, you can almost taste it. He takes a deep breath. "So, do you want to know about Spain?"

You hesitate for a moment before saying, "If you're willing to share, I'm happy to listen."

So it begins. He tells you all about the mission, starting with what it was in the first place. President Graham's daughter, Ashley, was kidnapped from her college campus. A cult was responsible. They received intel from an unknown source that she was taken to a rural area in Spain. He was sent there, along with two cops from the area. He and Ingrid Hunnigan, the woman assigned to help provide him with information and to send out a chopper once Ashley was found, were forced to use stupid code names. "Condor One." "Baby Eagle." "Roost." As if those weren't obvious to whom they were referring.

The officers fell victim to the villagers, who had been infected with a parasite. A Plaga. Las Plagas. Los Illuminados, the cult responsible for Ashley's abduction, was to blame. They forced everyone they came in contact with to carry Las Plagas, injecting them with an egg that would hatch and proceed to steal control of the body from the host. If you were lucky, anyway. Some people they simply killed, like the cops who brought him to the village.

Las Plagas work as a hive mind, taking orders from one dominant Plaga who controlled the cult's leader, a man named Saddler. He wanted to infect Ashley to help spread the reach of Las Plagas throughout the world, or some shit like that. He also had Leon injected with a Plaga egg, intending to unite him with the so-called holy body.

Leon tries to explain what Las Plagas look like and how they affect you. Sounds like an alien invasion, or a scene from Alien. It's eerie how much of it sounds like it came straight out of the nightmares you had while Leon was living through it. The black veins. The blood red eyes. The parasites. The fleshy tentacled monstrous abominations. There's no way you should know what these things look like, yet you can recall them so clearly, like you saw them with your own eyes.

While fighting to stay himself and to save Ashley, he encountered some familiar faces he wishes he never saw again. Ada, who apparently survived Raccoon City and was in the area for the same reason she was in RC. Major Jack Krauser, his hardass mentor when he was first forced to become a special agent, who became disillusioned by the American government after the fallout of a different mission two years ago and decided to join Los Illuminados because of it. While Ada did provide some assistance when Leon needed it and it suited her, he wasn't happy to see her, especially since she lived and had a Plaga sample with her when she made her escape, just like she did with the G-Virus years ago. As for Krauser... He couldn't be saved. Not from Los Illuminados, not from Las Plagas, and certainly not from himself. Leon had no choice but to kill him.

Leon takes a moment to collect himself after revealing this, putting his arms on the stone railing on the bridge as he looks down into the pond water below. You stand by his side, copying his actions except you keep your eyes on him.

Like with Raccoon City, there were people he met and lost in the same day. Those two officers, killed by the villagers, of course. Then there was Luis Sera, or Luis Serra-Navarro. Luis. A researcher who once worked for Umbrella and then for Los Illuminados. He had a change of heart, decided to help Ashley and Leon since he already successfully removed his own Plaga, and went to great risk to do so. He did have an arrangement of some kind with Ada regarding that Plaga that Leon mentioned earlier, but...He was a good man who made some really shitty choices in his life. He died because he was helping Leon rescue Ashley. Krauser stabbed him in the back and then tried to kill Leon. One of Luis's final actions saved Leon from dying right along with him.

"Remind me to find a copy of Don Quixote," Leon says with a halfhearted smile. "Luis loved that book. Kept making references to it throughout our short time together. I know of it, but I've never read it. I should."

There was also Mike, the helicopter pilot who came to give Leon backup on the island where Ashley was taken. This was after dealing with the village and then the castle. Leon walks you through the journey somewhat quickly, dropping names of people he had to fight if he knows them and the places they were. Bitores Mendez, village. Ramon Salazar, castle. Osmund Saddler, island. When Leon was on the island in pursuit of Ashley, Mike showed up with the helicopter Hunnigan sent to support him. Mike helped even the odds against the well-armed Plagas-infected forces there, but was ultimately killed when some insectoid B.O.W.s attacked the chopper, causing him to lose control. All Leon knew about Mike was his name...and that he knew a good bar they could go to for drinks had he survived.

Ashley survived, though. Thanks to Luis and his laboratory on the island, she lived and she was cured of the Plaga. She in turn helped cure Leon of his when he passed out from the exhaustion of fighting for hours and hours on end with little time for resting. It's no wonder he's as battered and bruised as he is. It's a miracle he's not worse off, to be honest, or even dead.

You rest your hand on top of one of his, rubbing the back of it with your thumb. His other hand moves on top of it as he holds it in earnest, giving it a tight squeeze.

"Did you...have any thoughts of...doing something drastic while you were infected?" you ask with much hesitance.

He reads between the lines. "No, no. By the time I found out I was infected, I already had Ashley. She was my number one priority. I never really considered...Maybe, in the back of my mind, but if I did that, then I would've had to--Ashley..."

"What...was it like? I mean...if you don't mind me asking."

"Awful. Just...fucking awful. I wasn't in control of myself. It was painful to resist. Saddler's goddamn voice was in my head...I thought my head was going to fucking explode and a goddamn monster was going to take its place. Thought my body was going to...Ugh, I don't want to think about it anymore. I'm sorry."

"No, no, it's fine, I understand."

"It's over...for now. I'm not sure what Ada wanted that Plaga amber for...I can't believe I let her play me again. She makes me feel so--"

"You're not stupid, Leon. You want to see the best in people. You always have. She just took advantage of that. She didn't get as far as she has without the skills to back it up. Is Ada even her--?"

"No, it's not her real name. And even if it was, there's too many Ada Wongs out there to narrow down which one is her." Catching the look you're giving him out of the corner of his eye, he explains, "I've looked into it on my own time. You're still the only person I've ever told about Ada...Though in her line of work with B.O.W.s and bio-terrorism in general, her existence is probably not as secret as it once was."

"I'm sorry she's hurt you...again."

"Don't be. As much as I hate to admit it, without her being there, I'm not sure Ashley and I would've survived. So...She was helpful. Not sure if that balances the scales, exactly, but..."

"Well, I'm glad you made it. I just wish you wouldn't have to do this."

"Yeah. Me, too."

A long pause. Then, you say, "Let's go to Barnes & Noble tomorrow. It should have at least one copy of Don Quixote. The question is, you want the translated version, or are you good enough with Spanish to read it in its original language?"

He chuckled. "Sweetheart, I only know enough to get by. There's no way in hell I'd be able to read an entire book, even if I wanted to."

"Sounds like quitter talk, but fine. We'll do the English version and forget there's anything that could've possibly been lost in translation."

He raised an eyebrow, though in the dark of night you can't really see it. You just kind of know he's doing it. "We? What do you mean, 'we?'"

"I could read it with you. I've never read it before, either."

"Oh, you don't have to--"

"I want to, though. It's something we can do together, in your friend's honor."

He smiles. "I'd like that."

It's late. You should be heading back to your home, and Leon realizes this, too. He offers you his arm. With a small smile, you take it, resting your head against his bicep. Wow, even in its relaxed state, it's big. If there's one good thing that came out of Leon's enslavement, it's how it really whipped him into shape. You kind of miss when he was softer and a bit squishy, though.

There's a pleasant silence on the walk back. Leon feels a little lighter now that he's had a chance to talk about his experience against Los Illuminados. Even if it doesn't undo the damage, it at least reminds him that he doesn't have to be alone in this. You're here. You'll always be here.

And you're not going to be judgy like that professional people keep trying to push him to see. Fuck therapy. It hasn't helped him in the past and it won't help him now. Hell, they'd probably tell him the monsters he's fought and almost died to aren't real, that they're all in his head. Hallucinations. Yeah, no. He's had hallucinations. He knows the difference. He knows he does have issues, but some doctor who spends all day on a couch listening to people talk about their problems isn't going to solve them, especially when the existence of B.O.W.s isn't common knowledge.

"Hey, Leon."

"Yeah?"

"I was thinking back to that conversation we didn't have while making the guest bed. Did you...really imply you wanted us to be friends who, uh...?"

You trail off, too embarrassed to finish the question. He feels your face get hotter through the fabric of his jacket sleeve. You're not alone in that, however. He's just as flustered, if not more so.

"I, uh, might have, yeah. If that makes you uncomfortable--"

"It doesn't. It just...caught me off guard. It's not every day my best friend suggests we fuck, you know?" Nervous laughter escapes you as you resist the urge to pull away from him. "Especially since I admitted just before that that I...feel like your security blanket. If I was anyone else, I'd...assume you're finding another way to use me."

"Oh no, I didn't mean it like that at all. I'm sorry."

"It's fine, it's fine!" You're so quick to reassure him that he almost doesn't believe you. "I'm the one that made the joke about doing you in the first place, so I really don't have a problem with it. Really! The only reason I'm bringing it up is...I want to know if you meant it, or if it really was just us messing around."

Well now, how's Leon supposed to respond to that?

He remembers drunkenly confessing to loving you years ago, on the first anniversary of the end of Raccoon City. He even kissed you. You acted like it never happened. You probably didn't even believe him, given his mental state at the time. He chose not to bring it up again at the time because he realized his new life wouldn't allow a relationship to take up any space in it. It was too dangerous, too time-consuming, too demanding, and so much more.

But now, after everything that's happened and with the passing of time, he can't help wondering if he should try again.

"Actually, sweetheart, I...I did mean it."

"Wow," is your simple reply, quickly followed by, "I can't believe the Leon S. Kennedy thinks I'm fuckable. Holy shit..."

"It's not just that, babe. I love yo--"

"We'll have to take it slow," you say, oblivious to cutting Leon off. "I'm still a virgin, so I'll probably be really, really disappointing. You'll have to show me the ropes."

"The ropes? Isn't it early to be--?"

"Not actual ropes, silly! That kinky shit is way outta my comfort zone right now. Geez, I haven't even been touched by anyone and you think I wanna be tied up for my first time? Please."

You laugh, and the way your entire face lights up has Leon in awe as he looks down at you still clinging to his arm.

"At least you took me to dinner first," you add. "Such a gentleman."

"Whoa, hang on. I never said we'd--You're getting ahead of us here." That isn't to say you're implied enthusiasm isn't appreciated. It's kind of a turn-on, if anything. The heat is pooling in an area other than his face. Leon needs to try to focus on something else or--

"I know, I know. I'm not about to hop into bed with you without protection, which neither of us has at the house. And also...Well..." You hide your face in his arm, away from his gaze. You're unable to take it while thinking about this conversation. "I'm not ready for it. Not...Not yet. Which is dumb because I'm twenty-seven and practically everyone my age has fucked at least once, but--"

"There's nothing dumb about it, and there's nothing wrong with you."

"Isn't there, though? There's teenagers with more experience than me. I'm a grown woman. Shouldn't I have...?" You shake your head. "I guess that would've meant I let someone into my life, huh? Trusted someone to love and respect me? And I'd have to be attracted to someone other than yo--I mean, be attracted to someone." You sigh. "It's no wonder the only kiss I've had was when we were both drunk. I don't put myself out there enough."

"Nothing wrong with that." Leon maneuvers the arm you're holding so it's now around your shoulders, pulling you closer to him as he gives you a tight squeeze. "You're overthinking this, sweetheart. We're not going to jump right in and I'm not expecting anything from you. It doesn't even have to happen if you don't want it. The last thing I would ever want to do is push you into something you're not ready for. You set the pace. I'll follow your lead."

"I thought following a lady's lead wasn't your style."

You both laugh at that. Dorks. It's something stupid he's said before, something he often liked to believe he did. But for you, he'll make you an exception. You're always the exception. His exception.

He leans down to leave a kiss on the top of your head. You shrink into him, unable to do much else other than giggle in response. What's going on today? You have no clue what's gotten into Leon that he's coming onto you and giving you a kiss. At the very least, you know it's not alcohol. He hasn't had even a drop. His breath doesn't reek of it, either. So what was the deal?

Eh, you're not going to complain. You find yourself enjoying his doting too much to try to put a stop to it. Not to mention the possibility of something you imagined happening since high school might actually come true after all this time. Leon really knows how to make a lady feel special.

But you're just best friends.

You're not dating. You're not a couple. You're not together.

Just best friends...

...now with potential benefits.

[jenn0wow]

Dorian x Inquisitor Trevelyan Fan Fic excerpt

Chapter 5: Dorian Hates Ferelden Chapter

Josef is an ex-assassin with a secret past who begrudgingly accepts his fate as Herald after the Conclave explodes. Having a personal grudge against Templars, Josef chooses to align himself with the mages. Once Dorian Pavus joins the inquisition, Josef finds the man frustrating but a talented mage with an affinity for death. Josef develops feelings he knows he shouldn’t be having while he attempted to save the world. Dorian also starts having these same complicated feelings.

In Dorian Hates Ferelden chapter, Dorian has been with the team (Josef, Bull, and Varrick) for several weeks now. His relationship with Josef is strained because Dorian likes to talk and Josef really doesn’t.

This is one chapter in a 100 pg fanfic I started back 2015 😀👍 Although at least 50 pages of it was written this past month lol. If you notice any more that is inaccurate pls don’t tell me or I’ll cry

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Another day, another “adventure.” Dorian enjoyed being a part of Josef’s most trusted team, but he was quickly becoming homesick—something he didn’t think he was capable of being. It’s not that he really missed home, it’s that he hated Fereldan. Most of it was covered in trees, mountains, rocks, mud. And now he had the misfortune of being acquainted with it all up close and personal with these little trips across the country land to save a farmer from demon wolves or some other back country nonsense.

Haven was lackluster too, no indoor water unless you counted the dingy bath hall. It was also cold. Damp. Inside and outside. Even when it was warm, he felt harassed by a wetness in the air. It made it difficult to ever keep his hair in place. If he said that out loud he was sure someone like Iron Bull would shame him for his vanity. Perhaps keeping himself preened and well kept made him feel more normal and not on a death journey against powerful demons and the occasional darkspawn.

Dorian couldn’t keep his head on straight with where they traveled. Trees all looked the same to him. All forests were just the same forest to him. This trek was no different, just point to where he should use his magic and onto the next moist, disgusting parcel of land.

“Reports say there’s a rift near some ruins past the river. I figure if it takes longer than expected, we can stop by a nearby town for supplies and make contact with some of our scouts and make camp.” Josef said, when they left the original encampment they started from.

Dorian didn’t mind the camping thing at the beginning as it felt novel and exciting. He also didn’t want to complain too early on since he knew he should be grateful for being a part of all of this, but now he couldn’t bear laying on another cot or worse the ground. He keeps waking up to bugs crawling on him, and when the missions take too long, he wouldn’t have the opportunity to shower for days. A quick rinse in a river is good for some of these men, but for Dorian, he likes to actually use soap with his water. Maybe a nice clean towel. Like a civilized person.

Dorian watched Josef as he studied the surroundings. Josef didn’t even like his job and yet he took it very seriously—barely a whine or complaint out of him unless it’s the wee hours of the morning and he’s acting funny about being the herald. It seemed so easy for him to just do it. Not that he has much of a choice. His glowing hand has him chained to this journey. Dorian didn’t have any true responsibility to be a part of this, but he’d seen too much to back out now.

Dorian had become so lost in thought and walked right in a cluster of gnats. They buzzed in his ear, went up his nose. Absolutely revolting. “This is my last fucking straw.” Dorian swatted at them and started rubbing his face on all the bug gunk.

Josef looked back. “Is everything okay?” He said, raising an inquisitive eyebrow that felt a bit demeaning if Dorian was going to be honest. “It’s only half a mile until we get to town. Can you handle that?”

Dorian scrunched his nose as he heard a snicker from the Qunari. Dorian shot him a look and then painted a smile on his face for Josef. “Everything’s super dandy.” He replied, only with a little sarcasm. He then muttered, “Like you could call anything we’re going to civilization. It’s just three log cabins and a horse farm.”

Josef stopped in his tracks. “Is this too much for you? I can leave you back at Haven…unless it’s too primitive for you.” Josef seared a glare into Dorian that the mage couldn’t figure if it scared him or turned him on more.

Dorian nervously chuckled. “And waste all my good looks and talents by sitting around and doing nothing? No thank you. I’d rather suffer here than there. Much better view here.” He said with a cheeky smile, “I'm just not very accustomed to Fereldan life and roughing it, I suppose.”

“Okay, princess,” Iron Bull chortled.

“Sparkle’s pretty valid for being uncomfortable. This kind of lifestyle isn’t for everyone.” Varrick commented. “It was a rude awakening for myself as well. But, I enjoyed my own freedom too much to complain.”

“Well, I’m not NOT going to get used to it. I’m here to stay.” Dorian tried to posture himself a bit, trying not to feel too pathetic. “I actually used to do a lot of traveling around places like these before joining the inquisition…although I made sure to charm myself a roof over my head and a warm meal most nights…Anyways son't worry about me.”

“Well, if you’re going to be here…at least stop complaining about it.” Josef’s words were cutting.

Dorian bowed. “As you wish.”

The herald sped up his walk to keep a healthy distance between him and the team. He needed to refocus.

“Actually, why did you even join us?” Varrick asked. “Not to be disrespectful, but aren’t you a little..ya know…”

“—Prissy, stuck up, spoiled.” Iron Bull interjected.

Dorian shot him yet another look and his hand went up in flames.

“I was going to say something like sophisticated or civilized. Adventuring and camping and all this doesn’t really seem like your style. Or at least from what I gathered.” Varrick shrugged. “Just curious as to why you accepted the offer. You’re still useful at Haven.”

Dorian let his flame simmer and sighed. “I don’t know. Perhaps it’s my ego wanting me to be on the front lines and a star player in all this mess, but there’s something also that tells me I should follow that man,” his gaze was tight on Josef, “even if it meant walking through demon infested pits. He saved my life, you know.”

“Okay, you’re not that special. He has sort of saved all our lives, but I get it. Josef may not want this job, but he certainly has owned it. No matter his past, you just want to follow and see what he’ll do next.” Dorian nodded in agreement with Varrick’s statement.

“And the glowy thing on his hand is so fucking cool.” Iron Bull interjected again. “Seeing him close rifts was the only reason I needed to follow him. Plus he’s good in a fight. I wouldn’t follow someone who couldn’t hold their own like that.”

Dorian watched Josef again, who clenched his sharp jaw as he concentrated on his walk. He could tell Josef didn’t see himself as the others do, as Dorian did. He was just a man, but he was becoming more than that without Josef even realizing. It must be a lot to carry.

Josef tried to drown out the rest of the party’s conversation. He didn’t care for the flattery. It wasn’t something he wanted to cling to. They were paper thin to him. However, he knew that he could not avoid the charming praises forever as his responsibility grew with the position he was forced into. He was trying to be on his best behavior. Trying to do what felt right. It’s what he’s been trying to do his whole life, but to what success…that wasn’t for him to decide. All he knew was he didn’t want to be the face of a movement, a crusade…

He swallowed those feelings down and tried to focus. Trees. Flowers. Grass. Birds. Mud.

“Maker—UGH!”

Josef looks over his shoulder to see a frustrated Dorian fallen butt first into the mud. Dorian groaned in annoyance as he slowly picked himself up. Varrick and Bull were of course uncontrollably laughing. Dorian then looked up from his now soiled pants and saw Josef looking down at him.

“I’m not complaining. I…quite like the mud….” He said, wincing a bit.

Josef scoffed and kept walking. He wasn’t going to make a fuss about it. That would just further bruise the mage’s ego.

It reminded him of when he first left home. It was a harsh transition and it was only until he was taken in by the assassin’s guild that he was able to get comfortable with being uncomfortable. They trained him hard. It was necessary and in these times he’s glad he had it.

He heard the sounds of people, civilians luckily. Not that he wasn’t prepared to take out any rogue venatori assassins or robbers, but he wasn’t focused enough for it to be a swift fight. None of them were focused enough.

As they got into town, it was exactly how Dorian described it bar a few extra log cabins. They walked through town in search of their supplies. One of the farmers allowed Dorian to use his water pump to clean off his pants.

“Great, first muddy pants and now I’ll have soaked ones that uncomfortably clinging to my body.” Dorian tried not to pout. “Everyone here is lucky I have the perfect ass or else this would be way more depressing.”

They collected their supplies and as the four men left, a smell caught their noses as they passed the local tavern.

“Mm, smells like a hot meal.” Varrick said.

“Dang, that smells good.” Bull said, “Made me remember I was hungry.”

“Aren’t you always hungry, you big cow?” Dorian spatted at him in jest. “But, I agree it does smell quite delicious.”

Josef pressed his lips together and thought for a moment. It wouldn’t hurt to get a heartier meal. Jerky, fish, and bread at camp could be a bit monotonous. For some, it wasn’t very fulfilling and for others it must not be up to their palette standards. As an assassin, he couldn’t afford to lose his cover while traveling so making any appearance in such public spaces was dangerous. As herald, it didn’t really matter as much. Actually, according to Josephine, it helped with his public image. Which was a thing he had now apparently.

Josef looked over at the lively tavern and then back at his crew. “Let’s stop to eat.” He said.

“Uh, really?” Varrick looked at Josef. “Actually, I’m not questioning and I’m gonna let this happen. Thanks, Herald!”

A big grin spread on Iron Bull’s face. “Let's clear this place out!”

The two excitedly walked to the tavern. Josef sauntered behind, with Dorian mimicking his step.

“So why are you suddenly so nice?” Dorian asked, “Not saying you’re never not nice, but from past behavior, you haven’t spontaneously decided on a leisure activity.”

“Do you have a problem with it?” Josef raised an eyebrow.

“Quite the opposite. While I’m not a superfan of Fereldan cuisine, I like it much more than the scraps we scrounge up at camp.” Dorian said, “I’m only asking because I want to better understand you. Like what goes on inside your beautiful brain and what not.”

Josef opened his mouth, words caught. “I’m…really not that complicated.” Josef quickened his stride and walked inside the tavern. He’d like to think he was keeping a simple kind of composure and impenetrable cover--but everyday it's more difficult with the responsibilities he now holds. The people of the inquisition were much more eager to question him than his old guild mates. Josef could have said he escaped the circus after selling his soul to a demon nug and they wouldn’t have questioned it. In the inquisition though, he could breathe wrong and they have at least five questions about it and sent four spies to find out more. Or they’d just sic Dorian on him and have him go insane.

Dorian huffed and smirked. “I beg to differ.”

The four men sat at a table with four large bowls of stew in front of them. Bull also ordered a handle of ale, which turned to him ordering everyone a cup as he felt it was a moment of celebration.

“And what are we celebrating?” Varrick asked.

“Dinner!” Bull let out a large billowing laughter.

It was in these moments that Josef felt a bit lucky. Anything could have happened after the chantry incident, and somehow he was lucky enough to be experiencing this--with…what he’d like to consider friends. It’s what made the title and responsibilities and world ending more manageable.

He took a sip of the ale. Much stronger than it thought it would be. He winced and coughed as it went down.

“Can’t handle liquor, Stitches?” Varrick teased.

“I haven’t drank liquor in many years.” Josef confessed. “I wasn’t allowed to in the guild.”

“That’s awful,” Bull said, “The Ben-Hassrath could be like that as well, but I do what I want now. Pleasure doesn't have to be a distraction if it’s also the goal…” he sipped on his ale. “Wait, you were allowed to have sex? You could have sex, right?” He had a worried look on his face that Josef knew was genuine worry.

Josef laughed and hid his face in his mug, letting his walls fall for a moment to try to match their energy. “Yes, we were allowed to have sex.” He sipped on his ale, a bit nervously. “Well, with most of those men, it’s not like you could stop them anyways.”

Dorian laughed. “Were you one of those men?” Dorian cocked an eyebrow. “If I may ask…”

Josef felt his face become warm either from the alcohol or the question. “Ah…” he nervously chuckled. “When I was younger…I suppose…”

He then felt himself get cold, a pulling feeling in his chest. Was that what Ervin was becoming to him? A sexual exploit of his youth? Is that what he felt comfortable telling everyone? What he felt comfortable telling himself?

Dorian watched as the herald’s face dimmed. Maybe he shouldn’t have asked the question. Usually he reveled in making others uncomfortable, but usually he instilled embarrassment in people, not a deep sadness.

Josef’s chest tightened, and he didn’t know what to do with the feeling. He took a big swig of the ale, and got up from his seat. “Excuse me,” he made his way to the door.

“Ah, there I go making things worse.” Dorian huffed as he watched him leave. “Why is it always me making him all weird and emotional?”

“Because you’re weird and emotional. It’s contagious, Pavus,” Bull laughed, “except it’s only catching to mushy humans. We feel none of that.” He clinked cups with Varrick.

Dorian crossed his arms and leaned in his seat.

“And you’re always poking and prodding around so obviously,” Varrick noted. “Maybe, and it’s just a suggestion, stop doing that.”

“I’m just curious.” Dorian said, “And don’t you want to know more about him?”

“Of course,” Varrick said.

“No,” Bull said.

“I know a lot about these hero types, and Josef is the stoic, sullen type. Poking around and being too obvious about it will usually get you on their bad side. I’m not trying to get on Josef’s bad side. And usually the stories unravel by themselves. You just gotta be patient.” Varrick shrugged and picked up his spoon to eat more of his stew.

Dorian clicked his tongue and crossed his arms in a huffy manner. There was a moment of silence at the table as Dorian pondered and the two slurped down their soups.

“I should go apologize,” Dorian said, getting up from his seat.

“Maker’s breathe…,” Varrick muttered.

Dorian opened the door to see Josef leaning against the tavern’s exterior, brooding. His arms were crossed tight around his chest, and his gaze was far off. The way the sky was colored shined nicely on his skin, which was just an observable fact that Dorian felt the need to make note of in his brain. Josef was handsome, check.

“It was not my intention to upset you with my question.” Dorian said, “I was relying too much on the ale to make you more….open.”

“You’re fine. I’m just…thinking…” Josef looked up towards the mountains.

“Don’t make me curious,” Dorian said, standing next to him. He leaned on his shoulder for a second then slid two steps away after he was reminded himself to give him space. “Don’t worry, I won’t ask what you’re thinking about even though I’m itching to know.”

There was a small silence.

“And why do you care?”

Josef turned his gaze towards him. Dorian felt a weird sense of fear as if he was digging himself into a hole perhaps. Josef looked at him like he was under a microscope, like he was studying things about Dorian that Dorian didn’t know about. It was terrifying in an exhilarating way, or at least that’s what Dorian was telling himself. A gaze like that made him ask himself why did he care so much?

“Because I like knowing who's leading me to possible death and definite danger. And as I said before, I’m always itching with curiosity,” Dorian quickly formulated.

“You can afford to be open about you and your emotions. I cannot. I cannot allow myself such vulnerability and I never have.” Josef looked away from him, and Dorian felt a weight lift off of him with the herald’s gaze elsewhere. “I can’t help but be envious.”

Dorian could see the flush of alcohol on his cheeks. Perhaps the liquor did loosen him just a smidge.

“You’re not the only person who has had to hide parts of themselves. Perhaps my openness now is because I’m appreciating the freedom you and this opportunity has given me.” Dorian responded.

“I don’t think I granted you that. You would have found it on your own.” Josef breathed out. He then looked at the sunsetting, the golden hue of the sun reflected off his dark eyes. “I’m afraid though it’s been too easy since you joined.”

Dorian felt a bit flustered by those words. At first not knowing what Josef meant until he did.

“You think there’s danger brewing in the distance.” Dorian asked, “isn’t it always?”

“When things get too easy, it never lasts too long.” Josef’s jaw seemed to harden. “I’m not superstitious, I’m just observing. And something bad is going to happen. Any day now.”

There was a cold chill with his words. Both refreshing and bone chilling.

“Well, let’s at least enjoy the peace while it’s here.” The mage tried to lighten the conversation.

Josef cracked a small smile. “That’s the thing. It feels as if we’ve enjoyed it much longer than we should have.”