#also when penelope says don't tell me you're not the same person

[starrae-skies]

guess which dumbass is listening to wyfilwma and both crying while laying in a puddle of my tears and also gnawing at the bars of my enclosure

it's me. I'm the dumbass. I fucking love this song

[northboreas]

I cannot understate how clever and beautiful Penelope's response to wyfilwma is. In the original myth, Penelope literally isn't sure if the man before her is truly her husband, so she asks him to move a bed that is impossible to move. A fact about their relationship that only he could know. When he gets absolutely flabbergasted over this request, it's proof that it IS him.

In Epic there is only one change. Instead of Penelope being unsure, Odysseus is unsure of himself and feels like he would be unrecognizable to his wife. He keeps telling her over and over again, I am not the man you knew, and it's almost as though he's trying to convince himself, too. Like since he crossed every line he's killed all the gentleness in him, and he has to force himself to accept it. Penelope knows better, Penelope knows him. Instead of using their wedding bed as a way to prove it to herself, she proves it to him instead.

"See that wedding bed? Could you carry it over?

Lift it high on your shoulders and take it far away from here"

Shes talking about their bed but she is also talking about their love, their history, everything that makes up their marriage. Its like shes asking him, if you truly are someone else- here's everything that we used to be, everything that we built together, throw it out. You're not the same, right? Then surely you can detach yourself from it all.

But he cant. he cant he cant he cant and she knows that. The shock and the outrage and the pain of being asked to do such a thing hits him with a full force and he talks of how he made the bed, what its meant to them, why he couldnt possibly move it away.

"Do you realize what you have asked me?

The only way to move it is to cut it from its roots"

To cut it from the roots would be to sever their love entirely, it cant exist without what came before and what came before was the two of them. He fears thats what she wants, a completely uproot of their life together. But the fact that he fears it, truly deeply cares like a sentimental bastard, the fact that he could never not be the man who loves her is what she's been trying to show him all along.

"Only my husband knew that

So I guess that makes him you"

like my GOD. THIS LINE. He cannot be anything but her love because he is the only man who knows what they are to each other. She says it and that is final. Moving it is impossible because seperating the man he used to be from the man he is is impossible too. They are one in the same.

"I will fall in love with you over and over again

I don't care how, where, or when

No matter how long it's been, you're mine

Don't tell me you're not the same person

You're always my husband and I've been waiting, waiting"

She is not loving him by ignoring the trail of bodies in his wake and her love does not change the carnage-- in fact she is the reason for it, she knows this and she doesnt care. This is her husband now and always. And as long as bloodied hands will still hold her weaving ones he is the same exact man she's been waiting for.

It is such a beautiful message to leave your audience with. It is so perfect for Penelope as a character and the emotional weight this song has elevated my understanding of the odyssey and their relationship. Twenty years is so long, everything has changed, we have done unforgivable things to get home to each other-- because our home is each other. You are sharp and cruel and I am cunning and so so angry and we are both so tired but guess fucking what, I love you. No matter how long its been, youre mine.

[reidmoony-toast]

could you maybe do like a one shot of Spencer x Supermodel!fem reader? Like she does runways for super popular brands like Versace and Victoria’s Secret?

Radiant. ౨ৎ

Spencer reid x fem supermodel!reader

content: established relationship, no use of y/n, spencer being down bad tbh, fluff

cw: Victoria's Secret show, so underwear yk (but no sexualising or anything)

wc: 2.3k

an: This is so exciting, hi first anon req!! I love you so much! Anyways this idea is amazing and I hope this is what you envisioned <3 This isn't my best work, but I tried 😭 Also I based the outfit off Karolina Kurkova's in a 2003 show, but its set in early season 7 soo forget that!

· · ──────────── ·𖥸· ──────────── · ·

“Is that her?” Penelope whispers for the hundredth time.

“No.” He huffs, tired of answering the same question for the past ten minutes.

“Patience, babygirl.” Derek chuckles from Spencer's other side. “He'll tell us when she's here. Maybe not with his words, but definitely with his eyes.” Derek flutters his lashes in Spencer's direction, clearly making fun of him.

“Both of you leave me alone, please?” He pleads, sick of their antics. They haven't stopped talking, and it's putting him on edge. He wants to appreciate today. Appreciate you. 

You had been desperately hoping to get this job with Victoria's Secret for months, and you were ecstatic when news of your hire reached you through your manager. You'd been raving excitedly about it ever since, and had begged him to finally come to a show.

He obliged, of course. Partly, because he can't say no to you, and mostly because he has been eager to see you in your element ever since you two had started dating.

Now, he is buzzing in anticipation, which is definitely not helped by Morgan and Garcia's constant remarks.

It wouldn't have been his personal preference to invite them, but you'd insisted, saying it was about time you met Spencer's friends, anyways. 

The show continues, scantily clad girls strutting down the catwalk, angel wings attached to their backs and sequins blinding, but still, you were nowhere to be seen. Spencer fidgets, waiting with baited breath. 

A figure emerges from the side of the stage, turning to strut down the walkway. He freezes, shooting up in his chair from where he was previously slumped. It was you. Undeniably. He could pick you in a sea of people from a mile off, if it came to it. 

His breath hitches. He takes you in. 

There you stand, in all of your glory. He can't quite believe what he’s seeing. Sure, you're self-assured in your everyday life, but this is on a whole new level.

You radiate confidence, striding down the catwalk like you own it. Spencer is utterly captivated by this different side of you that he has never seen in person before.

Sure, he's seen endless pictures—and even some videos—of your modelling, as well as the shows that take place in the comfort of your home; when you put on outfits and strut down the long hallway of your apartment, to loud enthusiasm from Spencer.

These particular one-on-one shows usually end in you dressing in progressively more atrocious outfits, until you’re both prone from uncontrollable laughter.

But this. This was real. It all hits him then—that you are a supermodel, that you do this for a living. That this is your life. 

His chest swells with immense pride at all you have accomplished. You've worked so hard, built your career from the ground up, and it has paid off. Your dreams have finally come true, and now, you're modelling in a Victoria's Secret show, which he is told (by you, of course) is world-renowned. 

“That's her.” Derek concludes smugly, no uncertainty in his tone. Spencer shushes him loudly, eyes fixed solely on you.

You don't falter for a single step as you glide down the stage. You're clad in a sparkly silver bra that glints off the bright lights, sequined mesh sitting below the bra's edge. 

A small pair of matching silver underwear sit below your hips, a glittering garter to match. And, of course, the wings. They protrude from your back, spanning above your head, magnificent and ethereal. Spencer thinks you ought to have a halo to match. 

The feathered angel wings trail down your back, sweeping across the floor behind you as you make your way to the end of the catwalk. 

Garcia and Morgan are saying something across him—most likely about you—but he pays them no mind, not caring for anything else but you, in front of him.

As you near the end of the perilously long stage, Spencer's smile only grows, until he is beaming uncontrollably when you slow to strike your pose. 

Spencer and his company have VIP tickets, courtesy of you, so he has an unobstructed view of you, directly in front of where he is sitting. 

Your hands rest on your hips as you lock eyes with the sea of cameras frantically snapping pictures. 

You look fierce, fiery, and Spencer somehow grins harder. 

As your eyes scan the room, they easily lock on Spencer's, not even ten feet away. His eyes are wide, smile larger than life. 

His lips move, mouthing words to you that you instantly understand, and you light up, a warm glow from within. 

‘I love you’

The luminous smile remains, even when you remember your surroundings. You pose again, grinning all the while and the crowd claps while shutters click incessantly. You pivot, sashaying off, but not before looking back over your shoulder to blow a cheeky kiss in Spencer's direction, winking.

It might just be Spencer's perception, but you seem to shimmer with incandescent light, like your very soul was set aflame with a soft fire. You are radiantly gorgeous—utterly perfect in the eyes of Spencer Reid.

The wink you sent over your shoulder makes him duck his head, face and ears bright red. He is the luckiest man in the world. To have you, all to himself. 

He is still grinning, even as you disappear around the corner. Maybe he is biassed (most certainly), but you were by far the most captivating model up there. Your every move seemed effortless—practised and perfected. 

You drew the attention of everyone, and you kept it. It felt as if the whole room had held its breath as you passed, too busy watching to remember how to breathe. 

Maybe that was just his singular experience. He wouldn't know, and he doesn't particularly care. 

As the show wraps up, Garcia and Morgan are raving—about you. 

“Spencer, I can't believe she is your girlfriend! She is absolutely stunning!” Penny gushes.

The first statement hurts him a little, like everyone thinks he can't possibly be dating a pretty model—but it's definitely true. The second statement, however, is the truest thing he's ever heard in his 29 years of life. 

Spencer chooses not to respond to Penelope, instead heading for the exit. They follow, and Morgan claps him on the back. “You're one lucky man, pretty boy.” He whistles suggestively, and Spencer brushes off his hand, mumbling something under his breath as he is suddenly interested in the craftsmanship of the venue floor. 

He found this hard. Blending his work and home life, introducing you to his family. It's not that he's worried they won't like you—that’s impossible, when it comes to you—it's more that he has trouble combining the two sides of his life in his head, given the fact that he is almost two different people in each. 

He doesn't bring his work home, and he doesn't bring his home to work—mostly. He does, sometimes (too often), ramble on about you and how downright amazing you are. He's only human, after all. 

Mostly, he's scared that it will be a mistake, that the two sides will end up being better off separate, that mixing the two now will have irreparable consequences. 

But, you wanted to, so he’s taking the plunge. For you. Always for you. 

~☆~

Spencer feels like he shouldn't be here. They're in the very depths of the building; models, designers and beauticians alike flit past them, paying them no mind as they go about their business.

He glances over his shoulder at the ajar door that leads to the dressing rooms every couple of seconds, in case you come through and save him from this place—which is the polar opposite to everything that makes him comfortable.

He's here for you, though, and he would endure this for you. Only for you. 

Morgan and Penelope stand a few feet away, at ease and chatting like this is the most normal situation in the world, like they've been backstage at thousands of Victoria's Secret shows.

Just as he's about to go into a nervous breakdown, he sees a flash of movement appear from behind the door. 

“Spence!” A shriek sounds as he turns to see you, bounding towards him. You throw your arms around his neck, nuzzling his cheek.

His hands come up to steady you, curling under the hem of your sweater. He feels instantly less overwhelmed, breathing you in like you're the oxygen he needs to live—like he can’t breathe properly when you’re not near.

You're draped in an oversized knit and comfortable track pants that engulf your frame. The irony wasn't lost on him—you were wearing nothing but showy undergarments not even half an hour ago. 

He loves that about you. That you aren't entirely defined by your job, that you have a part of your life and sense of self cordoned off; a part that isn't affected by the insane world of modelling. He loves that you can be yourself in so many different ways, that you have all these different facets. Just like a diamond, whose sides are all different, but every single one shines just as brightly all the same.

It inspires him to do the same for himself, to have a true self outside of his chaotic job that takes over most of his life. You’ve helped him see that life can be varied, diverse; that there are so many different things—other than one's job—that can make you feel fulfilled. Content. Happy. 

He's happy; truely and vibrantly happy with you. And that is the way he wishes it to stay. 

He chuckles amusedly at your strong display of affection. “Hello to you too, lovely.” 

You pull back to grin at him, albeit a little sheepishly. “Sorry. I'm just so happy you're actually here.” 

His gaze softens impossibly more. “It was long overdue.” He cups your cheeks and leans down to press a lingering kiss to the top of your head. “You were phenomenal.” 

You beam, and draw him closer.

The clearing of a throat brings you out of your reverie, out of the world where there is only the two of you. 

You pull away, detaching yourself from Spencer, eyes flashing with delight. “Hi!” You wave at a shocked-yet-amused Derek Morgan, and an exuberant Penelope Garcia. 

Derek raises his eyebrow at Spencer, probably surprised by how little he cared about your public display of affection. He usually doesn’t even let Garcia hug him unless it’s important. But, like with everything else, you’re different—special. He simply shrugs back. 

“You must be the friends Spence has told me so much about.” She reaches out a hand to shake Morgan's hand. “Derek, right?” 

Derek smirks, “In the flesh.” He grasps your hand, grip firm. “The show was amazing, by the way.” 

“Thank you!” You chirp, brightening further, and Morgan huffs out a laugh.

You pull away, turning to the eclectic women next to him. “And you, must be the famous Penelope.” 

You reach out your hand once more, but Garcia has other ideas. She dives in for a hug, bypassing the formalities immediately.

She pulls away abruptly as you squeak in surprise. “Oh- sorry! I'm sorry.” She blurts out. “I'm just so happy to meet you, finally! Reid has told us so much about you, I just couldn't wait any longer!” She grins broadly. “And you're even prettier than he described, which I don't understand how that's humanly possible, because boy genius over there won't stop talking about how gorgeous you-”

“Woah there, baby girl, slow your roll.” Derek interrupts, patting Garcia gently on the shoulder. You stifle a laugh, glancing at Spencer. He ducks his head, avoiding your eye and shuffling from one foot to another as his face turns pink.

“Sorry!” Penelope flushes scarlet red. “Uhm… what I meant was ‘nice to meet you’.” She cringes at her outburst. 

“No need to say sorry. It's an absolute pleasure to meet the both of you, Spence speaks so highly of you two.” You beam, and Garcia deflates in relief. Spencer’s arm snakes around your waist and under the hem of your sweater once again, smoothing patterns on your bare skin. You lean into his side, a contented sigh escaping your lips. 

“You know, when boy genius here told me he was dating a supermodel, I didn't believe him.” He raises eyebrows, smirking. “But, here you are.” 

“In the flesh.” You flash him a grin, parroting back his own words. He lets out a chuckle. 

“Why is it so unbelievable?” Spencer complains incredulously.

They all laugh at his words, and he hangs his head, sighing dejectedly. You pat him on the chest in consolation.

All of Spencer’s fears are quickly doused as a lively conversation starts up between you and his friends. He doesn’t know why he worried, like if they met everyone would self-combust. No, this was going fine. More than fine, even. 

His breathing slows, sure and steady, and he just watches. Watches you speak animatedly, with a delighted glint in your eye, clearly enjoying Penelope and Derek’s presence. And his friends, his family, seemed to be enjoying her just as much, which he obviously isn’t surprised about, but still fills him with relief. It was okay. It was all going to be perfectly okay.

“How does some dinner sound?” You ask the group, just as Spencer tunes back in.

Penelope claps her hands together, “Yes! I have the perfect place.” 

“Sounds good to me.” Derek replies. “If lover boy is coming, of course. I can't wait to tell lover girl, here, all the embarrassing stories at his expense.” 

Spencer groans, but follows Garcia as she heads towards the door. You just laugh. 

Spencer pinches your side from where you're still tucked under his arm and you yelp. This time, he's the one letting out a quiet chuckle, and you roll your eyes. 

“Come on genius, lead the way.” You look up expectedly from under his arm.

“Anything for you.” He simply replies, wrapping himself around you tighter, before guiding the both of you towards the door.

· · ──────────── ·𖥸· ──────────── · ·

Thank you for reading, feedback is appriciated x

Tags: @reidology13 @reidmania <3 - Comment to be added!

Masterlist ౨ৎ

[gublerryswift]

Am I allowed to cry? pt. 1 | Spencer Reid x Reader

In which you're in love with Spence, but never told him.

angst! (but don't worry, part two will be fluff)

warnings: Some light swearing and that's it i think (??)

content: Mutual pining (although spencer's side isn't really shown in this part)

a/n: I've been writing this one for 2 weeks and even deleted it once, but finally got to it and finished this!! Hope you guys like it <3

You had joined the BAU only 2 years after Spencer, and you two quickly became friends and only grew closer with time. Now, 5 years after meeting, you two we’re best friends, joined at the hip. Spencer was the greatest friend you could have, understanding and loving. Maybe that’s why your stupid brain decided to complicate things, at some point you started to see Spencer in a different light. 

One day, when you were having the worst cramps ever during a case, Spencer went out of the precinct the team was at, when he came back he had bought you chocolates and heating pads to help with the pain. You felt like you could cry, and after he gave you one of his beautiful smiles, you realized. 

Oh fuck… I'm in love with Spencer Reid.

That day, you also swore you would never tell him, there’s no way he felt the same, and you would not ruin the perfect friendship you both had. 

What you seemed to forget about was that, at some point, Spencer was going to get a date, a girlfriend or whatever, and you didn’t even stop to think how you would feel when that day arrived. 

Well... You don’t need to imagine it anymore, because it finally happened. The day before, Spencer had told you how he finally gathered the courage to ask a girl that he’d been on a few dates to be his girlfriend. Your heart sank when he delivered the news to you, though you did your best to seem enthusiastic for him. 

“Really, spence, that’s great. I'm super happy for you!” You told him, before quickly excusing yourself to the bathroom. 

You felt so dumb, you knew Spencer was not in love with you, you thought you had accepted that, so why the fuck are you feeling like the floor has been taken off your feet every time you think about him loving someone that isn’t you? God, you might be going crazy.  

You knew you wouldn't be able to keep your "omg I'm so happy for you!" facade for long. Your genius solution was to avoid him, only for some time, while you dealt with your feelings. 

You decided to talk with the only person that knew about your feelings besides you, Penelope.

You open the door to her office, “Pen, help me. I’m so stupid, my brain is broken or something” 

Penelope turns around on her chair, pulling another one for you to sit 

“Oh no honey, whatever it is you're not stupid, now, what’s happening?” 

“Spence has a date… God, I’m 27 years old, why the fuck do I care about this”  

“Ohh you’re in love, baby. Of course, you’re going to feel bad, that’s normal. Trust me, I’ve been there.” 

“Maybe… It doesn't matter anyway. I'm going to avoid him for this week, process all this shit and then everything will be back to normal” You force a smile, that was meant to pass a positivity you didn't even really feel, but it just made Penelope feel bad for you. 

“Maybe don’t do that. You know Spencer is going to notice, it’s best if you talk to him.” She says, repeating an advice she has lost count how many times she’s given you. Penelope has always been sure Spencer was into you, and always encouraged you to confess. Needless to say, you never heard her advice. 

“No, I can't. I would ruin our friendship, he would hate me. And, it would be so unfair of me, I mean… I only confess now that he has a chance with someone?” You take a deep breath, and get up from the chair  “Thanks for the chat pen, love you” You say, placing a kiss on her cheek and leaving her office. 

You really did appreciate her advice, but there’s no way you would confess to Spencer, not only would it seem petty, but you were deadly afraid to ruin your friendship… not that avoiding him was doing any good, but fuck that you’re not in the mood to be rational right now. 

You head to your desk, avoiding eye contact with Spencer and just focusing on your work when Hotch calls the team. You guys have a new case. 

“Great”  You mumble under your breath, even if being in the office would be hard to avoid Reid, having to be out on a case with him will make it impossible. That doesn't mean you're not going to try. "Im an adult and a professional, this shit should not get in the way of my work." You think to yourself as if it's a mantra to keep you focused. 

You enter the room, taking a seat between Emily and Rossi, as Hotch and Penelope brief the team you can see in your peripheral vision how Spencer's gaze shift to you, making avoiding it somehow more difficult. You're used to giving him small smiles, being beside him and always being in contact with each other somehow, he even would be fine with letting you hug him beside his germophobia, so you're sure he already noticed how distant you were being. 

"Alright, wheels up in 30, We'll get more details on the jet" 

— 

On the jet, hotch distributes the tasks, as always, he paired you up with Reid to do the geoprofiling. 

After a couple of hours, you and the team arrive at the precinct. As the rest of the team goes out to the field, you and Reid stay back doing the reading, and geoprofiling. You only speak to him when it's something regarding the case. Luckily, after a day, you guys finally makes the arrest, and soon you are back on the jet.

As soon as you arrive back to the BAU office, you just pass by Garcia's office to give her a quick goodbye and head to the elevator, ready to go home, and finally process your feelings - or better yet, force yourself to get over Spencer.

If this was under normal circumstances, you and Reid would be standing together in front of the elevator discussing which food you two would order as you watched some weird indie movie. The memory of those times brings a sharp pain to your chest, how could you be so naive? Yes, you told yourself he was not interested, but deep down between all those moments you two shared you hoped one day he would see you as something more than just a friend. 

"Hey, is everything alright? You seemed off today" Lost in your thoughts, you didn't notice when Spencer stood beside you, his voice pulling you off your thoughts. 

"I'm great spence, just have a headache"

"Are you sure? You know, lying to a profiler has a very small percentage of working" 

"I'm sure, don't worry… So, is it today?" You ask, as you two step in the elevator and press the button to the garage level

"Yeah, I'm really nervous." 

"That's normal, but it'll be fine, don't worry" The elevator gets to the floor your car is at, you hold the door open and turn to him "hey, be yourself ok? She'll be lucky to have you." You say, before shooting him a small smile and getting out the elevator. 

As you walk towards your car, a few tears start streaming down your face, you've known you love him for a long time, and you now realize that you might never know what could have been between you two. Maybe Garcia was right, but now it's too late to say anything. 

[random-blurbs]

I Can’t Fall In Love

Summary : Screwed over time and time again you swore your heart away from the idea of love. Not realizing how truly weak it is for the genius right in front of you.

"Pen I can't do this anymore! I'm done..." Practically wailing it out you gripped the fluffy little figurine begging for some type of release. "I love you my love but please spare my friend that poor torture." Snatching it from your hands you let you a torturous sigh. Done with simply everything.

"This isn't fair I did so much for him." Penelope motioned to her computer which you waved off. Knowing she's always willing to hack his stuff and leave petty messages behind. You're trying to be above that. Trying really hard at that.

"What did he do this time. I swear all the men you date always are so shady." Taking a deep breath in you know what Pen might do if she finds out. But to be fair she'll always find out some way or another. "He cheated on me...with his sister who I at least thought was his sister. But y'know wasn't." The yell that Penelope let out was loud as she shared your anger now. "He did what!" Nodding painfully as you recount finding them in your house, in the room you pay for, and in the bed, you paid for. It hurts. A lot. "Are you ok though my sweets? I know you're probably angry, but you don't even seem to acknowledge the fact that you can be sad." Was it the profiler in her that her team without realizing instilled into her. Or were you that obvious. It can be both. "I don't know Pen... it's just - I'm tired of being sad men after men." The ache in your heart is there, but that's a can of worms you don't want to open at your workplace. "But I'm going to make this promise to myself to not even dare to ever fall in love!" You said confidently as Penelope couldn't believe a single word you said. She loves you and you know that. But she can also see the avoidant nature you tend to have. Reminding her of a special little someone.

"What if I set you up with someone I know! He's a total catch in the terms of nerdy but still a catch!" Shaking your head you made a loud incorrect buzzer noise. "Nope! Not falling in love! Thank you though for looking out for me. Maybe we can talk about it -" Interrupting your sentence you both heard someone knocking on the door and a head of brown curls peeked his head in. "Um Garcia? Hotch is looking for you." He acknowledged your presence with an awkward smile as he looked at Penelope expectantly. "This is the person I was telling you about. This is our resident boy genius, Spencer Reid! He loves to read books, and I know you do to - you used to play chess in elementary he still plays! And he has an IQ of -!" Putting your hand up to stop Penelope from embarrassing the two of you guys. You waved at Spencer with an awkward smile of your own. Is it obvious Penelope was setting you guys up. Hopefully not.

Considering he's fucking cute. "Y/N. I'm Penelope's friend down at the reception desk." Totally needed to add that part so he can totally not see me there and say hi himself.

"Ah. I'm also Penelope's friend obviously we work in the same team I mean I feel like that's kind of obvious I'm sorry you probably know that. She probably told you if anything not that the-."

"Ok! Um someone is totally not rambling, let's catch up next time ok! You have to tell me what that pathetic little -" Rambling about what she might do to your ex you just let out a short chuckle at her words. Meeting his eyes you gave him a small smile back. "Ok bye you guys! It was nice meeting you Reid." Waving bye at him, he had barely put up his hand when you already walked out.

You can accept a man is cute. He's definitely not your type but he totally can be...

Shaking your head you rushed to your desk hoping your coworker isn't too mad that you left him for a while. Pushing all thoughts of the awkward smiling guy in a locked box.

-

It was weird it's been 3 months since meeting the resident genius of the FBI. And you can't look at him in his stupid eyes. His stupid cute face. When you do run into him it’s very stiff conversation and you hate how it makes your day. And vice versa. You give him energy he thought he couldn’t get. Showing your painfully slow progress sometimes you’re greeted with a cup of coffee. A order he learned through trial and error. But when he saw the smile that was etched into your face as you got your favorite order. He will grow those coffee beans by his own hand if it means seeing you continuously smile like that. He didn’t expect anything in return and you smile every time you think about it. For once nobody expected anything from you.

But when you come you’re reminded of those memories. Memories you wish to burn.

So you've been stuck. To the point where Penelope is checking in on you every day. Encouraging you to go out. Is it worth it?

Staring at the popcorn ceiling it felt weird being all dressed up but feeling nothing. No happiness, no sadness, no more anger. You're just tired. The excessive of beeping on your phone never stops. Maybe that's why your phone is practically dead all the time. Opening it it's the same messages you always see.

Please I'm so sorry I didn't mean it It was one time Just answer your fucking phone y/n stop being stupid just answer your fuc-

Shaking your head you got up to get into your uber that finally arrived. Tired. Blocking this random number again, he never stops. And you don't think he ever will. You haven't told Penelope the excessive messages you know she'll probably cross lines that you really don't want her to do. Trying to gather what social battery you have left to meet her friends. Or well her team.

Entering the surprisingly loud bar, you checked your phone trying to follow her directions. "Y/N!" A muffled voice from afar and you see the excitable blonde. "Come here!" You take in the group beside her. 2 older men who seem to be talking to each other not favoring the club setting that this bar took up. 2 other girls were next to her which you only remember the name of Emily. Not knowing which one is which. And finally, the man you've been avoiding. He's talking to another man who seems to be teasing him. But his brown eyes were meeting yours. Nervous flickering as he listened to his friend but looking at you. And only you. "Hey Pen!" Giving her a hug she does the introductions. It's hard to listen.

Just following Pen's footsteps you listen in to the story they exchange and generally talking about their life. Derek had left to go dance with Penelope, JJ and Emily had also gone to dance with one another. Who you learned was Rossi ended up leaving a little earlier. Seems like Hotch did the same considering you haven't seen him in a while. It's easy to do the math. Taking a sneaky peek next to you, there he was. His leg was bouncing nervously fueling your nerves just the same. The shots at your table are going to waste as you finally grabbed another one. "Y-You might want to slow down." His nervous voice made you pause. Looking over at him confused he cleared his throat. "You already took 3 shots within the hour and a half of being here. Not that I'm telling you what to do exactly. But it's just women tend to get drunk faster and obviously I would have to take into account your height and weight - I-I just want you to be careful." He finished with a stiff nod. Was it three shots already? You feel your phone buzzing into your pocket tiring you again, can't even enjoy a cute guy telling you to be careful. Tilting your head back you finished the shot.

"I'm sorry I'll cut myself off now." Not wanting him to think you're a drunk you took a sip out of your water right after. "It's not that it's just I want you to be careful, that's all." Nodding you guys fell into an awkward silence if you can even call it silence. It's a crime that this bar is basically a club now. "Have you played chess?" Surprising he's still talking to you, kind of scared that he finds you bad company. You nod your head, "Yeah back in elementary in some stupid little team." You chuckled a little at the memory remembering playing against your classmates but totally cheating so we both can get the vouchers. "Not anymore though?" Confirming his question with just a nod it seemed like he was stuck in his thoughts. "Do you play in like tournaments and stuff?" He immediately shook his head. "I only play for fun it's better that way."

"Would you show me how to play again if I ask?" You can see you caught him off guard with the question. Liquid courage as you want to call it. "Not a date obviously but to get to know each other better." He deflated at that. But you weren't able to see that as the phone distracted you when you pulled it out. Maybe it's better this way, he shouldn't test his luck. Maybe just being around you is enough. Considering he noticed the numerous of times you would go the opposite direction if you saw him. Maybe this is enough?

He didn't mean to peek it seems like your limbs didn't want to work with you that well anymore. Letting him take an accidental peek at your phone. Seeing the mass text messages sent to you reading what he can. He was the worst person to see it considering he read it all in practically seconds. But he knows now he doesn't want you to be surrounded with that. He knows you should have more. "We can set up whatever time that's works best for you."

-

Shit shit shit shit shit! Can you really call it a date? I mean you have to at this point. Here you are clothes sprawled all over your room as you tried so many different things. Some were too date-like, some too casual like. Going to watch a Greek play that Reid promised to translate it has to be a date?

Hearing a knock at your door it was pathetic really how you sprinted to it. Opening the door with a grin it quickly diminished seeing who was there. "Why are you so dressed up?" Not wanting to answer him you immediately tried to shut the door before he shoved his foot at the doorstep. Making his way in your eyes carefully watched him. Scared of anything setting him. "Mark what are you doing here?" "I keep on texting you and you refuse to answer." Scoffing you shake your head staring at him with disgust. "I can't believe you. Just get the fuck out. I've already been dealing with your messages for 6 months now! I've shown you kindness by not reporting you!" It was easy to see that he practically ignored your words as you fiddled with the doorknob begging him to leave. Spencer was going to be here at any point. And that weird feeling of embarrassment or even shame was filling you. Ashamed that you still don't have your life together considering your ex is practically being a stalker and you still haven't reported him.

"Y/N I miss you. Please just one more shot swear you won't regret it! C'mon will you really find someone like me?" In awe at his ego, you let out a laugh of disbelief. How the hell did you end up with someone like him. Glad you got out of the shitshow of a relationship you were in.

"Are you fucking laughing at me?" His booming voice is something you don't miss. And it always terrified you. "Obviously because genuinely who the fuck do you think you are."

"You stupid bitch I sw-" Taking huge strides to you, the fear made you want to run. But he was immediately at your side as you tried stumbling away. Feeling his hand wrap around your arm as you winced feeling him tighten it.

"Y/N?" A softer voice was heard just right outside the door. It was still open and you immediately knew it was Spencer. Your savior. Glancing up at your ex you see the anger swirling in his eyes, giving you a accusatory glare.

"Who the fuck are you?" Within a moment Spencer rushed into the apartment almost hitting you and your ex in the process. He was surprised to hear a male voice come from your apartment especially one sounding so hostile. The position you guys were in was everything but normal. You didn't even realize but Spencer can see it. The tears in your eye were welling up and the desperation laced with it, Spencer just can't unsee. "You need to get out." With a firm voice Spencer stayed unmoving as he stared at your ex. Who seemed to be beyond pissed. "Excuse me?" With a swift motion Spencer took out his FBI badge showing it to your ex. "I don't want to repeat myself. I can have you arrested just as quickly so do yourself a favor and leave. " He never really likes using his badge in scenarios out of field. But he knows your ex wouldn't listen otherwise.

Dropping your hand aggressively, Spencer was quickly at your side cradling your arm. The exact opposite of what your ex had done. Giving you one last look he slammed the door shut echoing throughout the apartment.

"Are you ok?" He didn't waste a second as he took extra care of your arm trying to see the extent of it. And it's that damn question, looking down as you tried hiding behind your hair. A very weak attempt. The tear fell unapologetically. All those feelings came out as you ripped your arm away from Spencer. Letting yourself cry into your hands. He didn't know what to do. He was scared that he was going to say the wrong thing. He knows of your situation but he didn't know the extent of it. And he wishes he can take it all away for you. "Do you want a hug?" With tears still streaming down your face, you glanced up at him in confusion. "Reid, you don't even like handshakes... not that I care but I feel like a hug is very out of left field." Agreeing with you immediately he tried not pushing the boundary. "Yeah, obviously germs can be shared especially since you're crying. But you're sad and I want to make you feel better. Even if it means a hug." Tears continue to fall at his sweet words knowing that this is probably something he psyched himself into doing. "If you want, I'll only hug you for a minute?" He motioned you to get closer and it was the most awkward hug you've ever had. But it was the only hug that has made you feel seen, comforted. It's not his favorite thing in his world, but as he caressed your hair letting you cry into his vest that took him too much time to pick out worried, he won't impress you. He didn't mind that the tears were being etched into it as you found comfort in his arms. Thats all he wanted. To be your rock. He might not know everything about you but he's willing to wait around to find out. You make it worth it. Your eyes, your smile, your sarcasm, everything. The fact that you were willing to watch a play you would have no idea what is being said, but willing to indulge into his wants. Thats enough for him.

As the minute went by it became clear that you took more comfort in his arms than he suspected. And he didn't mind as he heard your cries start to quiet down and just the small jumps of your shoulder signifying your calming down. "I'm sorry Spencer... I know you were really excited for the play. But I don't think we can go out anymore...obviously." Pointing at yourself and your wrecked appearance. "It doesn't matter."

"You say they come only every 5 years to perform just go and enjoy it."

"I'm ok we can catch it in the next 5 years we have all the time in the world." He said happily as he looked around your apartment. Entranced by the decorations as everything screamed you. "Is there a movie you want to watch? I can go get us some snacks or maybe order some takeout. You shouldn't waste your outfit." He didn't notice but you were trying your hardest not to cry at his kindness. You can't love him you just can't. You already seen all the men in the world. All they do is hurt you. And your fear of Spencer being one of them is killing you. You can't love him.

"Do you want fast-food or sushi?" It won't hurt to at least have a friend. - "Spence stop!" Giggling you were at the other end of the couch trying not to get caught in his arms. He had his arms out at the other side going left or right trying to catch you. "Say you're sorry then!" Uncontrollably laughing you shake your head between breaths.

"I can't! I won't mean it." Shrieking as he went over the couch to grab you, you run into your kitchen trying to expand the distance between the two of you. It was futile.

Yelling with laughs in between he wrapped his arms around you before swinging you around. "Spence! Please! I'm sorry don't drop me!" You know if he somehow did let you slip, he would immediately use his body as a cushion to soften the blow. That was the kind of man he was. Softly letting you down your laughs mixed with one anothers in a melody only you two can understand and enjoy.

You both were falling for each other. Hard.

It’s the type of feeling where you guys tittered the edge of something more. But you always pulled yourself back. It was the only way where you can breathe in peace. Knowing Spencer won’t have that edge over you, you won’t be vulnerable to him. “Are you going to cook for us again?”

“Obviously - do you not like my cooking or something?” Before he can respond your phone started to buzz. Excessively. “Can you get that for me? It might be Pen telling me about how Kevin is annoying her.” Getting started on dinner you settled with a pasta dish not exactly being a chef.

It was silent for too long as you looked up from the pot of water as his eyebrows were furrowed. Almost as if he was angry. “Spence you good?”

“It’s Mark. I’m going to let Hotch know he broke his restraining order he might have someone that can actually make sure he gets punished.” Mood somewhat dampening you thanked him quietly as you continued dinner. “Don’t overthink it please, You don’t need to worry.” You feel him behind you making you turn around to face him. He brought his hands up caressing your cheek with a content smile. “I swear to you I will make him stop. No matter what I do.”

I like you.

So much.

Those thoughts swirl his head as he stared at your face as your eyes were closed happily.

He wants to give you everything and more. The thought of letting you is too much for him.

-

“And they were roommates…” Penelope said ominously as you pushed her playfully. She giggled as she poked at your sides excitedly. She looked around the room with a bright smile on her face as she took everything in. “I love how you decorated the place obviously this was all you?” Nodding you’re happy that you got creative freedom in decorating - it feels more like home. Home 2.0.

“I brought you guys snacks.” Turning around you see Spencer with a big grin and an equally big bag of treats. “Spencer Reid I swear you are the love of my life.” Grabbing the hefty bag you passed over her snacks. Not realizing the look that Penelope threw at Spencer. Him quickly shushing her as you passed Spencer his snacks. “I need to go already my sweets. Date night I need to be ready!” Saying our byes you pulled Spencer over to the couch getting comfortable.

“You like it?” Motioning to the walls/the general room. “Of course I do. You just have the special touch like this one artist..” He proceeded to compare you to some artist you’ve never heard of but you just loved to hear him talk. “Do you want to lay down?”

It’s routine, asking is just a curtesy. Your head hit his lap comfortably as he positioned the pillows how you liked it.

“Are we going to continue that conversation we were having before she came?” You said looking at him from his lap. He loves how you look from there. Just happy, innocent. He hates to know that your ex took that from you for so long.

Getting more comfortable he cleared his throat knowing he can’t forget the conversation you were just having. “I would never hurt you Y/N.” Already living with each other for a year you guys are finally having that talk. Caressing your cheek like how he always will he admired the face he will be waking up next to. “I know simply saying it won’t take away your fears, but I want to show you. And I will. Because I adore you Y/N. You help me look forward to tomorrow. You give me a drive for us to finish our cases faster so I can get home, to you. And only you.” Smiling softly at him you played with his fingers. Dancing with one another’s hands you admired him. You never thought you could like someone so much. It drives you insane that he’s doing this to you. But you can’t help but be glad that it’s him and no one else.

“Do you swear Spence?”

“Swear on everything.” Kissing your hand softly he helped you sit up as you leaned. He helped you more times you can count. He waited. And waited. Without expecting anything.

You didn’t want to fall in love. Who would? But as you stare at the love-sick fool in front of you. With the dorkiest smile adorning his lips you can’t help but lean in letting your lips press against his. An act of love finalizing what you guys are. Lovers. And you wouldn’t want anything more.

[hetalianskywalker]

Waiting

Pairing: Gil-galad x fem elf reader

Summary: I listened to “Would You Fall in Love with Me Again” from Epic the musical and went I need Gil-galad to say Penelope’s lines in Valinor.

Authors Note: I would be willing to write a version based on the whole song, but I couldn’t think of an equivalent for the marriage bed question that Gil-galad could ask the reader. So if anyone wants more, feel free to help me brainstorm. This is also my first time writing for this fandom even though I love Lotr and RoP so sorry if it’s rough.

Warnings: fluff. Spoilers for the end of his story line from The Silmarillion and other middle earth works, but based off his characterization in RoP. Referenced passed death. Kissing. Very self indulgent.

Music:

Word Count: 861

“Only my wife knew that.” Gil-galad uses that soft relaxed smile he saved for only those closest to him. His palm rests gently on the side of your face; his thumb brushing along your cheekbone. You relish in the sensation of the warmth of his hand mixed with the chill of his many rings on your skin; something you hadn’t even realized you missed. “So I guess that makes her you.”

Suddenly you're not in Valinor anymore, standing in the gardens of the Noldor palace in Tirion; you’re back in Lindon long ago. When the cities were bustling with elves and peace felt like it would last forever. Before Sauron had returned and it all went to hell. When it became so much harder to wash away your husband’s worry for just a moment. Before Gil-galad, High King of the Noldor and your husband, died.

The you of the early second age sneaks out into the surrounding forest at night for a moment of peace and quiet with your husband. You playfully half drag him along by the hand beneath the starlit sky and tree branches; his shoulders shake with silent laughter as he indulges you. You both know Elrond will say something along with giving one of his half teasing judgmental expressions in the morning, but you both decide to cross that bridge when you get there.

You feel like a completely different person now. There is hatred and pride intertwined in your feelings about that. But right now you feel so much lighter than you have at any point in the over three thousand years of being apart from Gil-galad. Maybe, you are still that lovestruck elven queen somehow.

He’s really here; I’m really here. Those thoughts and realizations continue to spiral through your mind and soul. You can hear your heartbeat in your ears as you watch his glossy eyes hold you in the moonlight.

“I will fall in love with you over and over again. I don't care how, where, or when. No matter how long it's been, you're mine.” The whisper slices into your very being: warm, desperate, and full of the same longing you had felt for him across the sea. He had stared east just as much as you had stared west. Waiting.

His forehead leans against yours as his hands move to your shoulders; he gives a soft squeeze, reassuring himself you are really there. Gil-galad takes a shaky breath and you notice yours is the same. His eyes close and you can’t help but smile as tears trickle down your face. You know that expression all too well: that look of concentration when he was praying he’s going to say the right words. You had so deeply missed seeing these little things.

“Don't tell me you're not the same person.” Your husband begs in the smallest voice you have ever heard him use. Your hands move to cup his face, unsure of how to give him comfort after so long apart, but needing to try. He leans into your touch as he opens his eyes again; a couple tears escape.

“You're always my wife and I've been waiting…” His voice is stronger now, summoning the High King you had followed into battle on more than one occasion and would do so still, but you are thankful to never have to again.

Gil-galad lets that word hang in the air between you for a long time. It carries so much weight and far too much sorrow. He swallows and you smile fondly up at him. He basks in the joy of you not pushing him to be faster in conversation; you always cared enough to wait for his genuine thoughts, not just what the king’s word was to mitigate the next disaster.

“Waiting…” He tries again, scarcely believing said wait is finally over. You are finally here with him.

“Ereinion.” The encouragement makes him grin as you wipe away a few more of his tears. The love you expressed in the singular use of one of his birth names makes him smile and his heart feels full, complete.

“For you.” You both linger in that moment, wanting it to end and never end at the same time. Your eyes flicker to his mouth and back to his eyes. You begin to slowly pull him toward you, but his mouth surges for yours before either of you can really process it. It’s warm, messy, and real. When you finally pull apart, his arms have wrapped tightly around you and your hands cling to his robes.

The wait is over. Finally.

“How long has it been?” His voice brings your thoughts back in order. You give a soft chuckle as you both pant, knowing you both know the answer already.

“Three thousand. One hundred. And forty one years.” The sorrow lingers in every word even as you hold on to one another for dear life. You had been on one of the last ships to leave for the undying lands, but there isn’t time to regret that now. What’s done is done and you are together now.

“I love you.” Your two voices say as one.

[katharine1994-blog1]

Aaron Hotchner xBAUreader!

I Will Find You Part3

CW; adult themes, violence and sexual references and sexual violence

Its a late night in February, the sun sets early as you all set to greet the cold air to head home, the team had found out through Morgan and Penelope that it was actually your birthday today, Hotch had insisted on all of us going for dinner to celebrate, not wanting a big fuss you had protested, saying everyone must be tired after the case and it could be done another time, but they all pushed telling you how much they wanted to go, Emily took your arm linked with hers out the front door, marching you round the block until you realise your heading to your favourite Asian restaurant not far from the office, you hadn't realised anyone knew how much you loved this place, did someone pay that much attention to you? you think maybe Morgan had guessed seeing empty takeaway containers at your place when he's came over, when you arrive through the doors Hotch is at the front desk and enquired about a booking he had made, Hotch booked this place?

"when did this get planned? I know the waiting list is quite long for tables here?" you whisper to Emily

"Weeks ago Hotch sorted everything, didn't he ask where you would like to go?"

"no he didn't" you grim to yourself, so clearly he did notice things about you. Of course he knew when your birthday was, he does have your file, this place is so close maybe it was just out of coincidence, you chastise yourself for thinking he did it for any other reason

"I love this place, always wanted to try inside rather than always getting take out, but booking is a nightmare" you say smiling to Emily as you're all lead to your large round table as you arrive, Hotch pulls out a chair and tilts his head for you to take the seat, you do and swing round to thank him, as you begin taking off your coat you feel his hands slowly take it away and carefully hang it on the back of your chair before removing his own jacket

"I remember you saying the exact same thing a while back so I figured no better time then your birthday" he says with a smug grin taking the seat next to you

"Really? you remembered that? thank you" you look at him bashfully tucking a stray hair behind your ear, you stare for far too long at his kind face before clearing you throat and turning away

Hotch didn't always smile, never at work anyways, not like this, but when he did you felt as if the room was warmer and you were the centre of his attention, outside of work he was a calmer person, more at ease, you always felt he was warmest with you, but it was likely just because he's protective of you being the youngest of the team. Morgan took the seat on the other side after winning a fight with Emily who rolled her eyes and giggled as she sat next to him, lightly punching his arm, he made a dramatic fall against you and you laugh with them, everyone else settles into there seats with Rossi to Hotch's left signalling for a waitress

"I don't know about you guys but I need a drink and I think this birthday girl needs a cocktail" Rossi says shooting you a wink

"oh yes please, a Cosmo for me, in fact make it two" Penelope craned over to the waitress and immediately going back into her deep conversation with Reid

"ah I will join you with that, make that two more will you" Emily said a full smile across her face

"a scotch for me please, just one is fine" Hotch chuckled, turning to you "what would you like Y/N?" he reached his arm around the back of your chair and gazed at you sombrely, you felt your face redden as you smile coyly towards him, catching Morgan in the corner of your eye look at you knowingly, he knew about your stupid crush but had also said how he felt like Hotch might feel the same, you shook your head giggling

"I will have two of your Sake Mojitos please" you say confidently gesturing towards the drinks menu, your answer gains a cheer from your team with a few claps of excitement and teasing, everyone's drinks arrive as you are all deciding what to get for dinner, mouths practically watering with hunger

"before we get started" Hotch begins pulling a gift bag from under the table "happy birthday Y/N, this is from all of us, we are so happy you're apart of our team, lets raise a glass"

You blush and hold your hands to your face smiling so flustered by all the attention from everyone, you feel so overwhelmed as you watch them all wish you a happy birthday and drink to you, you pick up your glass and thank them, you turn to Hotch who hands you the gift bag

"you might want to save it till you're home, there's a few bits in here" you nod and store it next to you on the floor, your grin is beginning to hurt your face and you mouth to him "thank you so much", this is really the best birthday you've had in a while.

After the meal you all sit round the table with your empty desert plates laughing and chatting lowly, you cant remember the last time you felt so comfortable with a group of people, you smile towards them all looking at them one by one, listening to Reid going off on a factual tangent, JJ shoving him and rolling her eyes playfully as Morgan throws small pieces of ripped up napkin at him, Penelope grabbing them and hurling them back at him, Emily asking him why he knows this useless piece of information, as Rossi laughs and claps his hands, you turn and see Hotch has a smirk on his face, his cheeks lightly red from the warm room and scotch he's had, you've lost count of the cocktails you've drank as you rest your head on your hand as you lean against the table, you head feeling light and fuzzy, you still feel Hotch's arm rested on the back of your chair and you lean back fanning yourself with a napkin as you come over all warm blowing out making a your lips trill, you feel his fingers caress your shoulder playing with your hair, you stomach does flips and you try to seem unbothered by this contact but you feel heat pool in your stomach as you cross your legs, he leans closer to you slightly not being too loud

"are you feeling ok, you look a little flustered?"

at the question you turn your head to see his face, he's quite close to you, you can feel his warm breath on your neck, his eyes are almost sparkling, his soft expression is always hard to get used to out of the office, it almost takes your breath away feeling lost in his hazel eyes, you suddenly remember he asked you a question and clear your throat trying to focus, wow maybe you've had too much to drink

"yeah I'm good, I'm having the best night" you sigh and whisper "should probably head home though, otherwise my park run is going to be rough in the morning, I cant keep up with this bunch"

"you plan on making it out of bed tomorrow? you're braver than me" he chuckles as you feel him look you up subtly "how's about I take you home? believe me when I say these guys are just getting started" he arches a brow towards the others

"gosh really? yes that sounds like a good idea" you both laugh together and begin untucking your chairs

"ok guys birthday girl is wanting to make tracks, I will take her home, make sure gets there in one piece"

there's a chorus of boos and pleads to get you to stay, Morgan takes your hand and plants a kiss on your knuckles

"get home safely sweetness, I hope you've had the best night" his words are slow and almost sultry, he's so handsome and so knows it, you take his hand to your lips and plant a kiss on his knuckles, you both laugh

"good night handsome, and good night everyone thank you so much for this, its honestly been the best night I've had in a while" you smile to your friends as you rise, Hotch has beaten you and is already holding your coat out ready to put on, you chuckle softy and roll your eyes to the others, he leans down for your gift bag and begins ushering you towards the door, he then stops and puts his hand into his jacket pocket taking a black card out his wallet, and popping it on the table

"meals on me guys, Dave can I trust you to bring it back to me on Monday with the bill?" he raises his brow at the team almost like he knows what they are like once they get going

"of course, now get that young lady home, another round everyone, its on Hotch?!" Rossi smirks and waves you both off.

Your apartment block isn't far from the restaurant, you even often walked to the office rather than drive and Hotch only lives 10 blocks away, him taking you home wasn't unheard of, so it didn't shock you he was willing to leave with you, besides Morgan was having a great time you didn't want to force him to leave early as he had already offered to take you home when you were ready. The cold air hit your flushed cheeks and you took in a breath as you fastened your jacket, its a frosty night, you could see a few stars in the sky, or were they satellites? you stood for a moment looking up at the sky smiling, Hotch moved in front of you and mimicked your gaze upwards, he then looked down to your face, his eyes resting onto your lips, you caught his eyes in your own and you could've sworn he was- no he wouldn't want to kiss you, he hovers for a moment and you really wonder, will he? but instead he steps back and offers you his arm to link, you take it happily, your feet not 100% straight and you did not want to face plant to ground, not tonight

"come on star gazer, lets get you home, don't want to miss that run do we?"

you begin walking huddling into his arm to keep warm, you don't know whether its the drinks or the cold making you feel bold but you huddle even tighter to him, wrapping both arms around his resting your head on his strong arm, your a bit smaller so you head doesn't even reach the top of his shoulder, you make a deep sigh and he looks down to you, trying to read what little he can see of your face

"you doing okay down there?" he says smirking and taking your hands in his other hand while gripping your gift bag gently between his fingers as you wrap tighter around him

"hmm, yeah I- I've had the best time, the best night" you smile wistfully to yourself "tonight's been - so great, I honestly can't remember the last time I've been out with people like that, i don't think I ever have"

you moved to DC for your job with the BAU but even at home your old colleagues often didn't ask to go for drinks after work, you didn't like admitting it but you were a bit of a loner, it took time before you ever really let people in and by that point they would lose interest, you've had a few boyfriends since school but it never felt right, before they ever got too close you pushed them back, it felt safer after a while, those who did get close would either hurt you or get hurt so why risk change right? that's what you told yourself, until this team, until the BAU taught you that actually its good to have friends, until he showed you, you were worth getting to know. Hotch had always pushed you to give more of yourself away, even when at first you pushed right back, but he noticed something in you even you didn't see, even he didn't at first know what knowing you might mean.

"Well you better get used to it, the team loves you and we can't imagine you not being here" Hotch says gently, you wonder did he mean the team or just himself?

you stop suddenly wanting to say something feeling brave maybe even reckless, but as soon as he looks at you its as if all words have lost meaning, you cant figure out how to piece a sentence together, damn cocktails! he waits for you to speak keeping a tight hold of your hands still clinging to his arm, like he knows you're panicking and just need a second to gather your thoughts, he does know you well

"I wanted to thank you, you've always supported me and helped me, since I arrived, I- I felt as if I was a fish out of water here, being apart of the BAU was my dream and you helped me realise I do deserve to be here, you make me feel seen, the team is amazing and I love working with them, so thank you, for giving me that chance, Aaron, for seeing me"

you blurt out, not stopping for breath you begin panting slightly tears prick the corner of your eyes as the panic rises again in your chest and you feel even warmer than when you were in the restaurant, you should've just kept quiet, what is he going think of you, was saying his first name too much? He stands looking at you for a moment, his expression is so hard to read, like he's building up courage to speak himself.

"Y/N, I hope you realise, you belong in this team and you- you are very special to me, I cant imagine my life now without you in it" now its Hotch's turn to look flustered, you both look at each other, your breaths in sink when he steps closer to you, you cant help but close your eyes, he bends down to your ear, his words tickle at your ear

"its freezing I think we should finish this upstairs, if you want me to stay?" he whispers in your ear, your faces are so close your cheeks touch and he lingers there for a moment taking in a deep breath, you feel his cheek rise into a smile before pulling away from you to look into your eyes, you realise you've not took a breath since he spoke and you let you breath out slowly while looking through your lashes to him, you realise you're actually just outside your building and you grin to him "night cap?"

"I thought you'd never ask"

you both make your way to your apartment building heading for the 12th floor, you step into the elevator with your fingers tangled into Hotch's hand as he holds on to you tightly pulling you close, you're both alone in the box as it begins to move up, you watch the numbers 2,3,4,5,6, tapping your foot impatiently, Hotch chuckles and pulls you closer to him wrapping his arm around your waist, your gift bag bouncing off your hip, he pulls his other hand up to your face and brushes your hair behind your ear, you fall into his touch, he cups your chin in his palm and leans his forehead to yours as your noses touch you bring your hand to his hanging on to his wrist, you smell the whiskey on his breath and the sweet ice-cream from his desert, your desperate for his lips to be on yours but before you inch closer the door ping's open onto your floor, you both giggle and step out and head to your apartment door.

You riffle through your pocket for your keys and fumble with all the key rings trying to find your front door key, his begins boxing you in as you feel his tall frame right behind you resting his arm on the door frame, you hear him place the bag on the floor as he begins gently running his hand through your hair, you sigh and let out a small moan you hope he doesn't catch, you feel a deep rumble from his chest as he steps even closer to you, his hard body pushing against yours as his hand travels down your back and around your waist to the soft of your stomach pulling you even closer against him

"that's very distracting you know" you say confidently, still intently searching for your keys, you need to get him in there now!

suddenly your being spun around as he pushes you against the door, taking his arm from the frame and resting in behind your head so you don't bang your head, he slides his knee between your legs still holding onto your waist, you gasp

"what about this?" he says breathlessly as his lips collide with yours, this kiss is hungry, it takes you a moment to take in what's happening, as you drop your keys to the floor you bring your hands to his face and through his hair pushing back hard into the kiss, your mouth opening allowing both your tongues to explore. his free hand runs around your back and untucks your shirt, feeling is strong callused hand on your bare skin drives you crazy with heat pooling between your legs as another moan escapes your mouth wrapping your arms tighter around his neck, you feel his knee pushing higher as you feel him lifting you off your feet and pressing your whole body into his, at that moment you hear a noise, a click from down the corridor, as you turn to look you swear you see a small red light, he pulls away from you panting seeing your distracted face he places you back down and removes his knee still holding you tightly

"are you alright?" he asks with a concerned frown

"I thought I just saw... never mind, lets get inside, I don't want to disturb my neighbours" you whisper to him

He smirks and nods leaning down and picking up the bag and your keys, and handing them to you

"my apologies, I just couldn't wait anymore" he says licking his lips and readjusting his jacket, you blink in disbelief, is this the same Hotch?

You finally open your door, throwing your keys into a bowl on a small table by the door, switching on the lights and removing your coat, Hotch steps in closing the door behind him, surveying the area, its a small apartment with a living area and adjoining kitchen, down the hall is your room, the guest room and main bathroom, your kitchen is a box with a breakfast bar, he places your gift bag on the bar, your living room is well furnished with artwork, fun and playful ornaments on the walls and shelves with bold colours on the woodwork, with 2 large bookshelves filled with books all well organised, framing the TV, he takes his jacket off and heads over to the books, neatly folding his jacket in his arms

"this is a lovely place, and I have to say exactly what I expected"

"oh really, you been profiling what my home would look like?" you smirk walking over taking his jacket and hanging it up with your own, you head over the the breakfast bar which has a drinks trolley in front, you grab too glasses and a bottle of brandy, and begin kicking off your small cat heels and lounge of the couch, placing everything on the coffee table, you watch him study your books smiling, he looks so at home here.

"you're a reader, even at work, and even though your clothes are sometimes a muted colour I've often thought you're a lot bolder behind closed doors, less profiling more trying to figure you out"

"am I that hard to read?"

"yes and I think its how you like to be"

for a moment your feel almost bare, like he knows things about you most don't or don't care to, you push the uncomfortable feeling down, you want him to know you.

he turns seeing you seated and joins you, you face each other with his arm up resting on the back of the couch, he gently starts playing with your hair again looking into your eyes softly, he leans closer and kisses you again, this time its gentle, soft and slow, you bring your hand to his chest and rest your hand there pulling yourself closer to him, his other hand gently strokes down your arm before resting on your leg you've brought up onto the couch, he pulls away with a wistful sigh smiling

"this wasn't what I was expecting to happen, not tonight anyways, I had hoped... that what I felt, you felt too" he confessed rubbing his hair

"I didn't even think your liked me, not in this way anyways"

"really? I thought I was being obvious, I suppose I am very much out of practice, I do like you, very much, and I would-"

but suddenly you feel like something catches his eye, he shifts away from you, his brow begins to furrow, he starts turning away and clears his throat

"you've dreamt of the BAU, and working in this team, its what you've always wanted" he says very matter-a-fact

taken aback you sit straight with a puzzled look "yes"

"if you also want this" he says gesturing to you both "you have to realise you would be over looked for other promotions, opportunities within the FBI" he turns back to you "basically being with me, will effect your career, I know how driven you are, is this what you want? am I what you want?" his stern face has became unreadable, what's happened, what did he see? you look around you not seeing anything obvious, sitting up straighter

"where is this coming from, a second ago I thought... yes I want you"

"are you sure, there's no one else? you can tell me, you're young and beautiful, part of me didn't want to believe you had feelings for me, I am way older, I have Jack-"

"I love Jack you know that, please stop this, I do, I do really like you and I want to try this, if you do, do you?" you wait for him to answer, still confused as to where this self doubt seems to of come from

"who is sending you roses?" he says suddenly looking at the ground avoiding your eyes

stunned you slowly turn seeing the last roses sent in your living room bin, petals scattering the floor, you had forgotten to take them out with the last trash run, you clear your throat and try to calm yourself

"they are nothing, please forget about them, can we just-"

"you've been getting them for months, he - he must like you a lot, and I don't want to stand in the way of someone whose better suited to you than me" he begins to rise from the couch making his way to the door

you stand with him in shock still, how is this happening, how is this guy ruining everything right now, fuck, you need to think!

"please Aaron believe me, its no one, there is no one"

Just tell him!! you think, how to say, these flowers, letters he doesn't know about, you've been getting from a total stranger, you've never met, Morgan's been taking you home trying to figure out who it is and has no new ideas! he'll probably think you're crazy, or in love with yourself, come on just say something, he will understand right?

"is it Morgan? I know you two have gotten pretty close and I-"

"Derek? no, no its not him we are just friends, no wait please let me explain, there is someone but-"

"that's all I needed to know, I am sorry for pushing myself on you tonight, we've been drinking, this was- this cannot happen again, we need to- I can't ruin your career Y/N, over something you aren't sure of" he begins putting his jacket back on, his face beat red looking at the ground still

"Aaron please just let me explain this isn't-"

"this was a mistake!" he blurts out, looking at you finally, and you see it, in his eyes, the resolve, the embarrassment, his words cut you deep in your chest, you press your lips together, he needs to know you understand and you will be professional about this, you take a deep breath and bring you eyes back to his after a moment passes, show nothing, you cannot let him see

"you're right, please don't be sorry, you're right, we've been drinking, its late and- lets pretend this didn't happen" the words feel cold and final from your lips, but he needs this, he didn't want you, not really, everything in you body screams for you to grab him and hold him, but you can't, you cannot be that girl

"you should go"

you gesture to the door and take a step away from him, your legs feeling like led, his eyes are filled with pain but you know he agrees.

he turns to leave opening the door, without looking he steps out, slightly turning his head back to you still refusing to look you in the eye

"I hope he makes you happy, you deserve to be happy" his voice catches and he walks out slowly closing the door with a click.

you stand for a moment, wondering what the hell just happened, what kind of fever dream or nightmare did you just have play out on your birthday, you turn and look at the roses still in your bin wilting, was that really what set him off? you know he hadn't been too happy with the roses appearing at the office, was he jealous? or was he just looking for an excuse, he wanted you sure, but did he want more? maybe? maybe not? you slowly make your way to your bed room and curl up under the covers, not even changing out of your shirt and black trousers, you need sleep, you'll wake up and this will all be over, fuck doing that run in the morning.

Your head thrums as you lay on the ground, you see stars, you feel your legs being pulled dragging you along the ground, the gravel catching your skin, you try to move but nothing happens, then you're being lifted, you land on something hard and metal with a thud, your hear another thud like car doors slamming, you try to open your eyes, wincing with the pain another thud and an engine being turned on? you see red in your right eye, is that blood? you see small tv screens, CCTV? you feel the ground beneath you moving, is the ground moving? no its a van, you begin to hear voices, Hotch's voice in your ear

"R/N I will find you, please don't give up! sweetheart do you hear me?"

you begin to realise what's happened, he's got you, you go to look at the driver, your breathing becomes rapid, tears stream down your face, you try to concentrate on where you are, you need to help them know where he's taking you, your pushed close to the back of the drivers seat, when a gloved hand reaches down to you and pulls at your shirt, he taking your comms, your phone is pulled using the wires as he rips it from you, you cant move you feel yourself whimpering but you cant cry out, he lifts it to his ear, he's wearing a black hoodie you cant see his face

"I wouldn't count on it" you hear him say, as you watch him toss your comms and phone out the window

your heart drops in your chest, you begin panicking you breath coming out faster, when the gloved hand appears again holding a white piece of cloth, he places it over your mouth and nose, you smell ether as everything goes blank again, before you fall unconscious you think you should've ran after Hotch that night.

part 4 to follow

[evieismol]

Big Bend - Chapter Eight

Word count: 938

Cw: cursing

Previous

Easton's pov

“Hey! So, I hear we’re finally on the same planet again!” Larissa said, her familiar face appearing on my phone screen. It had been years since I’d seen the human I’d initially met when she and her friends had become stranded on Aphirial in person, but we’d kept in touch with regular video calls and text messages. 

 I laughed. “We are!”

“How are you liking Earth? And how is it being the one that’s the wrong size this time?” She asked, giving me a wry smile at the last part. 

“Well, the days are definitely a lot shorter here,” I said. “I feel like as soon as I fall asleep it’s time to get up. I guess it was the opposite for you guys - waiting for me to wake up or get back from work or whatever must have felt like it was taking forever.”

“Yeah, it was weird. At least we got to sleep in pretty much always, though, so we might have won on that front.” 

“I wish that was the case for me,” I murmured, then shook my head, forcing myself to brighten my tone. “It’s been good overall though! The people here are really nice too.” 

“That’s good! Made new friends to replace us yet?” Larissa joked. 

“As if,” I said. “Speaking of which, is Kyle around?” 

Larissa shook her head. “He got called into work today. I know, lame.”

Larissa and Kyle had become roommates when they’d returned to Earth, settling in the coastal city of Los Angeles. The third human who’d been stranded, Ruby, had also kept closely in touch with them, though her job as a travelling nurse meant that catch ups were more frequently than not over facetime. Much like ours - I hadn’t seen any of the three humans in person since they’d left Aphiria. 

“Damn. Well, tell him I said hi!” I said. 

“I will! So, what’re your coworkers like?”

 “They really are all nice. My supervisor, John, is very, like, upbeat. I swear he must live off of coffee or something. I’m pretty sure one of them is kind of terrified of me. Or dislikes me. Or maybe both, I’m not really sure, but I’ve been trying to be like, extra friendly? I mean, not that I blame him, given the whole giant thing.

Uh, I’m not the only non human working here though. One of my other coworkers - Angie, she’s cool - convinced her best friend Penelope to come work out here, and she’s a vampire.”

“A vampire, that’s neat,” Larissa said. “I haven’t actually met very many.”

“She seems pretty chill. She’s like, very extroverted. Oh, and her roommate Zoey seems cool too.” I wasn’t totally sure why I felt like I needed to sound casual mentioning Zoey, or why I was hit with the immediate urge to talk more about Zoey. Regardless, I found myself recounting Zoey and I’s first meeting, rambling about how she’d seemed remarkably unconcerned to run into a giant in the middle of the night. Surprised, but not actually scared, even once I’d let slip that I was from Aphiria.

That then turned into rambling about how cool her outfits also were - a colorful mix of crochet, tie dye, and chunky jewelry when she wasn’t at work. And then that turned into mentioning how radiant her smile was, and it was at about that time that I noticed the knowing look on Larissa's face. I faltered. 

“Uh, yeah. So she's nice. Like everyone else. They're all nice.” 

“Sounds like you might think she's a little bit nicer than everyone else?” Larissa asked teasingly. 

“I don’t know what you mean.” I was not good at playing dumb. 

“Sure,” Larissa said, drawing the word out. “I can't wait to tell Kyle and Ruby that you have a crush.” She said the last part of her sentence in a sing-songy tone. 

“I do not! Can't I just appreciate someone's fashion sense?” 

“And ‘radiant smile’?”

I felt like face palming. 

Why did I say that? 

“Objectively speaking.” I tried again. “She just has a nice smile.” 

“Uh huh. I think I got like, a sentence about everyone else there and an entire monologue about her, so you're not fooling anyone.” 

“I don't have-I'm not interested-I don't like her like that. Besides, she's-she's a human.” I stammered. 

“What, us humans aren't good enough for you?” 

"No! No, I didn't mean it like that, I fully think humans are equal to aphirials-of course-that just came out wrong." If I'd felt flustered before, it was now a thousand times worse. 

"Hm, I dunno, you said that awfully fast," Larissa teased. 

"I just meant like - I don't have a crush on her-" I ignored the look Larissa gave me and continued, "but even if I did, there'd be like...a kind of concerning power imbalance? If I did like a human, which I don't, I wouldn't want them to feel pressured into anything or something because I'm, well," I gestured at myself.

"Half the humans I meet - actually, probably more like 70% of the humans I meet, are at least a little scared of me already. And what if I told a human that I theoretically had a crush on that I felt that way and then they didn't feel the same way but felt like they couldn't say that and-and there's just a lot of potential problems there," I ended lamely. 

Larissa and I were both silent for a moment. 

"...You've put a lot of thought into the subject for someone who doesn't have a crush on a human," Larissa said finally. 

I sighed. 

Fuck.

[astridthevalkyrie]

Tbh my slight with Eloise is mostly that yeah not wanting to get married is understandable and I can see how it’s incredibly boring and isolating being the only one in the ton that feels that way so openly. But I just think that Eloise is privileged because she doesn’t have to get married, but the others livelihood solely depend on getting married. I’m definitely not debating I’m just curious because where I see Eloise hate, it’s mainly pointing out how she makes quips about others who don’t have the ability to voice their distaste for marriage. And also the fact that she wasn’t a great friend in the first place to Penelope, as she could never listen to her for more than 2 seconds. Which is why she never noticed pen was LW in the first place. I hope this doesn’t come off as picking a fight or anything like that haha I just really like these discussions and I’m curious to see your view on that.

hey! this isn't coming off picking a fight at all, thank you for the thoughts!

long analysis about bridgerton and specifically eloise below, please note i have rewatched it recently but i haven't watched it an insane amount of times or anything so if i say something that's not true, kindly let me know.

so i agree with you for the most part. eloise is privileged. she's richer than most and she can afford to become a spinster while everyone else can't. i would like to point out that it's not like she'll live easily and comfortably if she does that. as kate tells her, she won't have a good time. she's going to be outcast. she's going to be looked down on. she's going to risk shaming her younger sisters. she will not be homeless, but she will not be loved. eloise says in season 2 that reading LW is a reminder of how trapped she is, which means she doesn't actually see becoming a spinster a viable option. as far as she's concerned, she's going to get married whether she likes it or not.

in season 1, most of her slights are with daphne, who's in the same family as her, and yes, while being the eldest daughter does come with a hefty burden, daphne is not more or less privileged financially. she wants love and marriage, she's not getting married to survive. both their viewpoints are understandable, i think. eloise finds daphne's pursuits fruitless and daphne is frustrated with eloise for not seeing things from her point of view. the problem i have with that, though, is:

who ever sees things from eloise's point of view? why is she expected to work to understand her older sister when daphne can't do the same for her? daphne has understanding from her mother and every other woman who's out in society. eloise has penelope and that's it. her family snarks at her whenever she voices her opinions. her mother actively tries to change her. eloise thanks daphne for being perfect, eloise concedes in their argument and asks her to name her song, and eloise sits with her on the couch so that daphne doesn't have to sit with berbrooke (or at least tries to before violet makes her go). the only other person besides penelope who's there for eloise is maybe benedict, and he often only talks to her when he's going through something already. when all of society disagrees with you and says you should just shut up and conform, you're not exactly going to be eager to be empathetic and listen.

now, aside from her family and penelope, eloise barely interacts with other people, especially the other debutantes. so while she rants about her viewpoints, she's normally not doing it to working class women or women who will end up on the streets if they don't marry. and when she does rant, yes, there's sometimes rude statements about how other women only care about marriage or feminine things which can come off as patronizing (and she definitely has a superiority complex no doubt), but for the most part, eloise talks about how the system is unfair. she's not wholly disparaging women for wanting to marry to survive, she's disparaging society for having a system that requires them to do so. eloise is also the only character so far who's shown to actively try and learn more about the working class. of course she's not an intersectional feminist yet, she's barely had the resources to become a basic feminist. but she was willing to learn. she wanted to speak to theo more, to read more radical books.

and honestly, for eloise (with my own bias because i know what it feels like to feel like your accomplishments amount to nothing because marriage is somehow more important), i don't think it's just boring or isolating. it genuinely seems to make her panic. it seems like it makes her ill, the thought of conforming. her bit when she tells violet that she's not rebelling for attention, and that she knows she's a disappointment....that poor girl. and like i said, i've had that anxiety. i've had that terrifying moment where i'm like. holy shit. what if i wake up and i've lived half my life and i'm not me because all i am is someone else's. jesus christ that fear can do things to you.

which is what makes her transformation this season so depressing. she's given in. she's playing the part because she's tired of fighting. even though the thought of being submissive and docile and silent and married is still obviously paralyzing for her. and so far i actually don't think it's poor writing, or out of character, but i do think that they might just be toning her down now so that it doesn't seem too ooc when she settles with phillip or someone else. that, i think, will be character assasination. unless she ends up with theo (or penelope or cressida or marina 🙏🏽), her love match with some type of feminist tamer character will be really heartbreaking to watch and i sincerely hope they don't go down that route.

anyway, she's also apparently the only character who's not allowed to have problems because of her privilege. anthony in the beginning of season 2 pissed me off so much. even simon in the first season at times. oh these women can't string together a thought! oh they're so desperate! oh their mamas are so stupid and annoying for *checks notes* wanting them to marry well and live happily! it's so heartless. it's so cruel. mister capital r rake does not care for any of his annoying sister's feminist ramblings, but he himself would like an educated, motherly, soft, clever, beautiful woman. kate absolutely clocked him when she asked how he was sure such a perfect woman would want him. but the fandom doesn't completely pile on anthony for his stupid ass takes. if they get on him for anything, it's for how he handles the sharma sisters (which is completely valid, just not the only dumb shit he's done). but he's sad about his dad dying so it's okay! benedict wants to paint sooooooo bad 🥺 and colin........must discover himself for the third time in a row. these men treat their own problems so seriously and the fandom doesn't give them half the shit for it that eloise gets for talking about a very real problem that terrifies her and affects her life deeply.

i've watched s3 only once, so i don't remember every interaction she has with cressida. but as far as i do remember, she tries to help cressida with debling. she tells her that she can stay away if that's what her father wants. i also don't think she knows that cressida's facing financial abuse, because even cressida doesn't know that until her mom tells her. eloise should probably have a hint that cressida isn't in the mood for making jokes, yeah. she should work on that. i can forgive her because frankly i'm seeing that she's barely interacted with other debutantes before this and is socially awkward. not everyone can forgive her for that, that's cool. i just think fandoms (especially tiktok fandoms, ugh) have this way of seeing a female character, and especially a female character that comes off as feminist or annoying, and will absolutely refuse to understand her at all. think any female character tiktok hates. ginny from ginny and georgia. mary from young sheldon. hell, even marina. these characters are flawed. eloise is flawed. but while other characters can be understood or even excused, being an annoying woman is the absolute worst thing to be. a crime. you deserve no kind of deeper understanding at all.

now, onto her friendship with pen.

i've felt like penelope in so many of my friendships. actually, i don't think i can think of any friendship i've had where i didn't feel like i was playing supporting role to the main character. so i'll absolutely agree, eloise could stand to be a better friend to penelope. she talks over her and ignores her sometimes, she doesn't seem to truly know penelope at all, and she tends to talk about herself far more than she asks about pen.

but i truly, truly don't think any of it is malicious. eloise wants to find LW originally because she wants to get justice for the featheringtons. she embraces pen immediately when she comes crying even though they were in a fight. she compliments pen on being such a good friend twice in season 2. also in season 2, eloise loudly tells cressida she would rather die than join her instead of pen. eloise is not some popular girl who uses pen to make herself look better. eloise thinks the world of her.

and eloise! is! keeping! her! secret! i feel like not enough people are understanding how absolutely insane that is. she's so ridiculously mature about it. she doesn't tell anyone. she endures the fallout of the (false) things penelope wrote about her. penelope writes and attacks el's brother and yet she doesn't say anything. she doesn't even go to her and tell pen to stop writing about her family! she feels bad that she accidentally let slip what colin and pen were doing. she apologizes for it. she feels upset that pen had to write about herself which is far more understanding than most would show in that situation (awww, you "had" to write about yourself in the gossip sheet where you regularly insult other people, woe is you). she stops cressida from bullying pen.

whereas in the very very first episode, lady whistledown's first article talks about how she doesn't like that the bridgertons are named alphabetically. does she help daphne by publishing the stuff about berbrooke? sure, after violet spreads the gossip, but more importantly, after she calls daphne ineligible for marriage which made berbooke her only viable option in the first place before simon stepped in. what has daphne done to her? nothing at all. also, this isn't just printing out gossip that everyone else is saying anyway (which still wouldn't be okay btw). this was penelope making a statement that was LW's personal opinion, which already carried a lot of weight. this was penelope nearly sabotaging daphne's chances of marriage.

and all of this isn't meant to be anti penelope. i understand her and why she does what she does (i do, however, think marina and eloise both clocked her, she is immature and she does write as LW because she's too nervous to be herself and is jilted by society). my overall point is that while eloise thinks the world of penelope, penelope harbors a bitterness towards el and her family. it's not an unnatural bitterness, mind you! you have a friend who goes on and on and doesn't ask you about you and her family is oh so perfect while your family is the laughing stock of the ton and her mother is so loving and your mother is anything but. anyone would be bitter. i think pen loves eloise too. she changes what she writes in LW to please her. she clearly cares that eloise approves of what she writes. she misses her and feels guilty about their fight. but pen isn't honest with eloise. pen isn't trying to discreetly reveal she's LW, or that she has a crush on colin. the only person to know before s3 is marina. eloise isn't a bad friend for not picking up on things that penelope is actively hiding. penelope also lets herself fall into the role of sidekick, she doesn't try to insert herself more into the conversation.

i might be forgetting a scene, but i think pen talks the most during the episode where they run off and lay in the field of flowers together (closet's invisible btw) and eloise listens to her and then says "you don't have to pretend anymore, you like this, pen" with the softest most adoring smile on her face while pen giggles. i promise i'm not trying to write peneloise fanfiction that's just how the scene goes. when penelope truly wants to talk, el does listen.

but that's where i'd give eloise the least grace, because i truly do think she could stand to listen more and listen better and ask about pen from time to time instead of just jumping in to what she wants to talk about. she shouldn't be surprised when pen wants to get married because pen said she did in s1 (my only in canon explanation of that could be that eloise simply thought she was speaking in anger and wasn't serious). i also don't know for sure, but i heard in the books they agreed to be spinsters together. that's not in the show, so it's not canon, but eloise certainly seems to think her and pen are on the same page.

i think there will be a mutual apology. i think that's fine. they both have stuff to apologize for and i won't get into penelope's character right now. if they continue to keep her quiet and docile and she ends up settling for a man who teaches her yadda yadda you can have feminism and love, i'm gonna sink into my chair. eloise bridgerton you deserve better 2k24.

[dootznbootz]

There's something really fascinating about how Athena treats Diomedes so differently from how treats Penelope and Odysseus (even Telemachus but that's a lil different too)

Athena has basically known Diomedes since he was born (some even say that she had a say in naming him) because of Tydeus. I don't think it's far-fetched to say that in a way, she possibly "molded" him. And Diomedes is kind of known for being the "perfect warrior king". He's respectful of the gods and most of his comrades, an incredibly skilled soldier, and has already achieved so many things despite being one of the youngest kings in the war.

I sadly think that's why Athena treats him so differently than Odysseus, Penelope, and Telemachus.

She cares for him, but it's still "distant" in a way. Or almost in an "I molded you. You will react the way I would want you to therefore I will not be surprised."

When it seems like she's known her other favored mortals for less long, she didn't get to "mold" them. They surprise and bring something "new" for her. She sees her little tricksters' scheme and plot and watches with intrigue but watching the perfect warrior is a "Yes, perfect form. That's what I'd do."

I mean even how her favored mortals pray to her tells you a lot about the relationships they have.

For example, in the Iliad, Odysseus doesn't need to really give as much reverence to her to "earn her favor" during book 10's Night Raid.

Odysseus rejoiced, and prayed to Pallas Athene: ‘Hear me, daughter of aegis-bearing Zeus, you who are with me in all my adventures, protecting me wherever I go. Show me your love, Athene, now, more than ever, and grant we return to the ships having won renown, with some brave act that will grieve the Trojans greatly.’ And Diomedes of the loud war-cry followed him in prayer: ‘Hear me also, Atrytone, daughter of Zeus. Be with me as you were with my father Tydeus in Thebes, when he went there as ambassador for the bronze-greaved Achaeans, camped there by the Asopus. A friendly offer was what he made them, but on his way back he was forced to take deadly reprisal for their ambush, and you fair goddess, readily stood by him. Stand by me now, and watch over me, and in return I will offer a broad-browed yearling heifer, unused to the yoke. I will tip her horns with gold and sacrifice her to you.’

(Book 10, A.S. Kline)

Diomedes brings up his dad and offers a young heifer (granted that could just be how Diomedes is with every immortal) while Odysseus doesn't and is basically like "Yo, help me out like you always do!". Odysseus is much more casual and personal with Athena. And with Penelope, Athena takes the form of one of her sisters to comfort her!

While Athena also most likely has known Telemachus since he was a baby, she's still closer to him than Diomedes.

Imagine that. You're basically molded by a goddess since birth, listen to her and other immortals dutifully, basically become her perfect warrior, and yet you can't seem to reach that familiarity with her. The same warmth she has for her other favored mortals.

[deustux]

After listening to the ithaca saga Imagining a varigo au of penelope and odyessus to the song "would you fall in love with me again" makes me kick my feet. Odypen varigo au has me screaming. My two favourite ships of "smart ass x smart ass". RAAAAH I LOVE THEM SO MUCH :((

Edit: I'd also like to add that I love to see Varian as Penelope and Hugo as Odyessus. Especially with Penelope tricking ody and referming that she loves him "only my husband knew that, guess that makes him you" Especially with the "I will fall in love with you over and over again I don't care how, where or when, you're mine. Don't tell me your not the same person you always my husband"

Is 100% something varian would say. He would have built such a bond with Hugo knowing how far he'd go for him and he'd give the same back to him. Varian would make an amazing Penelope who's stoic when he needs to be whilst still being cunning and mischievous.

Hugo would make an amazing Odyessus as he would be so loyal to varian. Hugo is also a very cunning person who uses his wits to win. Hugo has been a theif for so long he'd easily play into giving and telling people what they want to hear just like ody did with circe. Hugo would also be amazing as he'd definitely have an ego due to how confident he would be with his skills of manipulation and getting his way. He'd definitely fuck himself over with his overconfident ego and Hugo would Panic when his manipulation and cunning nature doesn't work as he's relied on that for most of his life being a theif.

Odyessus and Penelope just work so God damn well as varigo and I would adore an au of them.

[dr-spencer-reids-queen]

Exit Wounds: Final Part

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female!Reader

Word Count: ~1.8k

Summary: You're taken to Alaska where someone is killing people who are trying to leave the small town of Franklin. Penelope gets caught in the crossfire but comes out stronger.

Warnings: canon violence, canon language, canon talk of death, methods of kill

Season Five Masterlist

Author’s Note: I do not own anything from Criminal Minds. All credit goes to their respective owners. If there are any warnings that exceed the normal death/kills from the show, I will list them.

x

Just like you predicted, there was another murder the next morning. This time, Joshua's mother was found dead at her house. Joshua has been in custody this whole time so he doesn't know he's also lost his mom. It's going to break his heart once he knows. You know he's a good kid. You look at Carol's body which has her intestines splayed out everywhere around her. This was angry. The same yellow energy surrounds her, further solidifying your theory that your unsub is a minor. You touch her forehead with a gloved hand and see the unsub gutting her maliciously.

"The neighbors saw the door open and called it in," Sheriff Rhodes sighs.

"He went from ambushing people in public to home invasion. That's a pretty big change in MO."

"This one is personal and angry. Look, her intestines are splayed out everywhere. The blood on her face is smeared, not splattered. He played with the body. He mutilated her."

"If this guy is killing people leaving town, why didn't he attack Kat Allen?" the sheriff asks.

"Because we had her in protective custody. He couldn't get to her, so he moved on to another target," Hotch says.

You look behind you and up at him with worried eyes.

"Believe me now? Joshua couldn't have done this. Our unsub is a minor."

"Fine. We'll do it your way," he nods.

"Carol was scheduled to be at the tavern tonight. How did the unsub know she was here?"

"He was stalking her. He chose Carol for a different reason. Why? What's changed?"

You, Rossi, and Spencer go back to the station where Joshua is. He stands up from inside the holding cell and Deputy Flack lets him out.

"Did you guys finally realize I'm innocent?"

"Joshua, please have a seat," she says.

"More questions?" He does as he's told. "Are you serious? I'm telling you, I didn't do this."

"We know that, son."

He finally recognizes the shift in energy.

"What's going on?"

"Josh, the killer struck again last night," Deputy Flack says, trying to keep her tears in.

"Oh, God. Who did he get?" He looks around and notices you're only talking to him. "Why are you guys only telling me this? Where's my mom?" None of you say a word and he connects the dots on his own. "No. No. No. No, no, no, no. No, no, no, that's impossible. She was just here. I--I just talked to her!"

"I'm sorry Joshua, she's gone."

"No, you're lying to me," he cries.

"I wish we were."

"I need to see her."

"Not right now. You don't want to think of her that way. Joshua, we know you need time to mourn, but the fact of the matter is, the man who did this is still out there, and we think that you can help us find him."

"You had me locked up while she was--I could have helped her!"

"If you had gone to her, there's a good chance you'd both be dead. Now, we need your help."

"Why me?" he sniffles.

"The murders began when you returned to town. Up until now, he's only targeted people who were trying to leave but for some reason, with your mother, it was personal. The pressure's on. The FBI is here. In that situation, a serial killer who wants to finish what he started, goes after the true target of his cause."

"Personal?"

"Can you think of anyone who had a grudge against her? Anyone at all?" He shakes his head. "How about anyone with a grudge against you?"

"No, no. Everybody loved her," he cries.

"The man that we're looking for has severe abandonment issues. Can you think of a time when you or your mother left somebody, maybe like a bad breakup or a fight that ended a friendship?" Recognition comes across his face. He knows who it is. He tries to pass it off by coughing and covering his face but you see it. The shift in his energy also tells you. "Did your mother ever take anyone in at the inn who had family problems, maybe someone who had been kicked out or lost someone unexpectedly?"

Joshua shakes his head and crosses his arms.

"No. No, there was nothing like that. Listen, can I go see my mom now?"

"Josh. You need to let these people help you," the deputy says.

"No, I need--I need to see my mom."

"We'll have someone take you," Rossi says."

"It's okay. I know the way."

Josh immediately leaves the station.

"He knows who did this," you say. "Not only was there a shift in his energy but his body language as well. He's lying to us. He knows who the unsub is."

You, Rossi, and Spencer head back to the tavern where the rest of the team is at.

"I got one of my deputies tailing Joshua. If he does something stupid, we're gonna know," the sheriff says.

"There's got to be a connection we're missing. Garcia, anything?"

"Their lives have been torn apart, figuratively and literally, and I can't find anything."

"Try again."

"I'm hacking into his college database as we speak. Maybe there's something about his life in Seattle I may have missed."

"So, why Carol? Why the mutilation? Why the overkill?" Hotch asks.

"Mutilation? You said you found the remains of mutilated animals in the woods from a rabid bear?"

"That's right," Deputy Flack answers Rossi.

"Did you take pictures of them?"

"Of course. We documented everything for identification."

"We'll need to see those pictures right away."

With the way the other victims were mutilated, it's determined that an animal didn't do it. A human did. An animal wouldn't have left so much meat behind. It's Homicidal Triad 101. The unsub lacks sophistication and immaturity in his kills because he is immature himself. He started with animals because that's what he was taught to do. Once he got bored of animals, he moved on to more challenging prey--humans. Everyone comes to the conclusion that the unsub is indeed a minor--a teenage boy.

The unsub isn't a former student but a current one. Hotch brought this back to the teacher they talked to earlier to see if someone stood out from the rest. The only teenagers she has in class are both females and you know a girl didn't do this. Penelope dug deeper into Josh's life and in his college application, he talked about how being an older brother impacted his life. He doesn't have any siblings yet he talked about how hard it was to leave him behind when he moved to Anchorage.

With this information, Hotch asked the teacher if there was a student that Joshua had taken under his wing before he moved away, someone who she might have suspected was being abused.

There was. Owen Porter. He's not a student anymore because he's homeschooled. He and Joshua were attached at the hip when they were younger. The Sheriff had been called out to Owen's house multiple times for domestic disturbances. Owen and his mom were always covering for his dad.

"Talk about abandonment issues. Owen was left victim to the abusive hand of his father," you sigh. "Joshua's return probably derailed Owen's mental stability."

"Add to that the accidental shooting of Jon. He snapped. He got off on that first killing. He had to do it again, so he targeted people trying to leave town. In his mind, when people leave, he gets hurt. He resented Carol for taking Joshua away so he killed her to make sure he never left again."

"Where would he go now?" Rossi asks.

"We're surrounded by waterways and mountains. He could be anywhere."

Spencer and Hotch leave town to go to Owen's house. Of course, he's not there. The officer who was tailing Joshua called back to let you know he lost Joshua. Josh knows Owen. He knows he killed those people and his mom. He's going to hunt him, and you don't think he'll be alone. You and the team head out into the woods in search of someone. You're not a hunter. Joshua is. He knows how to hunt Owen better than you can hunt Josh. You're not even in the woods for two minutes before you hear a shot ring out.

"Did they just shoot him?"

"They wouldn't be shooting if they weren't close," Deputy Flack says.

"Let's go."

Derek's satellite phone rings and he answers Hotch's call.

"Hold on, guys," Derek says to you. "Yeah, Hotch, what's up? ... Okay, I got it." He hangs up. "There's a new plan. He's heading for the harbor." 

You immediately go over there with your gun out to see Joshua's hunting party in a standoff with Owen who is already in a small boat and Hotch's half of the team. Owen has a gun at Hotch's team. Hotch's team has a gun on him. Joshua's team has a gun on Owen.

"Owen put the gun down. Who do you want to take your chances with, us or them?" Owen looks behind him to see Joshua's team ."Drop the weapons and back away!"

"Can't do that agents. The boy is coming with us," Keith says.

"It's not happening!"

"Back down, Keith. We're in control now," the sheriff says.

"What are you gonna do, Steve? He's sixteen. Send him back to Juvey so he's out in two years? He killed Brenda!"

"He killed my mom!"

"He needs help and he will be held accountable for his crimes."

"Accountable? Five people are dead! Why'd you do it, Owen? Why did you kill her?" Joshua says emotionally.

"You left me behind!"

"You killed my mom!!"

"She sent you away! You left and you didn't come back. Eight years and I never heard from you again."

"Please, just let us take him in," Spencer says.

"Sorry. I can't. I know what you're saying is right but I can't do it. You're outnumbered and outgunned. Who do you think has the higher ground here?"

You run down the pier and aim your gun at Joshua's back.

"I'm pretty sure we do."

Josh's team turns and sees your half of the team standing there. They're outnumbered. Everyone on Josh's team drops their guns knowing it's the safest thing to do but Joshua doesn't.

"What are you doing? We can still take him!" Josh yells.

"It's over, Josh."

"He killed my mom!"

"I know, and I'm sorry," Keith sighs and steps back with his hands up.

Josh raises his gun to shoot Owen but you're quicker than he is. You shoot Josh's arm before he can get a shot out and he falls into Keith's arm with shock written over his face.

"You shot him?"

"He'll live," you shrug.

Owen is arrested and taken away. He will pay for his crimes but he needs to get help, first. Help that he won't find in this small town. You're glad to be back in the jet and away from small towns. You lived next to one and you didn't like one bit. They are such a tight-knit community that they have their own laws there, it seems. You're glad to be going home now.

"Y/N." Hotch walks over to you while you're making a cup of coffee in the small kitchen. "I want to make something clear. You're never rooming with Spencer again."

"What?" you gasp.

"I don't want to hear it."

He walks away as if he didn't just say that. You close your gaping mouth and blush. Eh, it was worth it.

"Nothing is so strong as gentleness, and nothing is so gentle as real strength." - Ralph W. Sockman

x

Follow my library blog @aqueenslibrary​​​​​​ where I reblog all my stories, so you can put notifications on there without the extra stuff :)

[devastatinglygreen]

I really like hearing your opinion on the things the fandom is hung up on and I haven't seen you say anything yet so I wanted to know what you thought of Colin's entrapment comment?

ohhhh interesting (and thank you tho i am sure you will regret it). i am here to provide 24/7 personalized hot takes so don't worry i will bother everyone with my opinion.

why do i, personally, think he said it? aside from being hurt? i sort of have a very nebulous idea of it that i noticed on a rewatch (yes i will rewatch this season consistently, it's now my among my favorite comfort tv shows along with 2005's p&p (which is a movie i know), that one season of friends, that flea market show i hate (don't ask), and the entirety of bob's burgers) but colin has no idea penelope loves him until episode 6 so it's connected to that.

i am very sorry you were brave enough to ask me a question and now have to read all the nonsense below. god speed.

like, he's flying blind and after the carriage (insert pitbull music...and fingers here) he's pretty insecure that's he's moving a lot faster than she is. it's unsettling to be head over ass in love and feel like you're not worthy of it and then not even be sure where the other person is. that penelope doesn't reciprocate when he first says it to her is noticeable but he moves on so quickly you can sort of assume he doesn't want to give her a chance to, like he's scared of the answer if he asks.

colin waxes poetic about love, about penelope, etc all through eps 5 and 6. he's consumed by it and to be fair, they were on different wavelengths in part 1. she was trying to let him go and move past him and he was stumbling and staring and wanting to die with wanting her while she was like, "hey this guy you hate for no reason likes me, isn't that cool?" and it's pretty fresh for him so i would think something like that lingers.

when she tells him she loves him in ep 6, he's happy. and relieved. i also think he's been expecting bad news (which, you know. it, uh, will be later) so it's a relief to hear that they're on the same page but, and this stuck out to me the first time i heard it, she says she loved him while pretending to be his friend. she corrects herself because of course she was actually his friend but she loved him underneath of it all as well but penelope isn't always the best with words when on the spot and it takes her a moment to calm down and gather her thoughts. the relief (and guilt of him not knowing/reciprocating) is very obvious in the moment and i think he was thrilled to hear that she loved him back.

which leads us to the LW fight. which makes him question if he ever knew her at all. he does, of course he does, but she's been this secret second person who has written about him, his family, her best friend, and her own family for years. penelope's intentions are never malicious when it comes to protecting the people she loves but the execution can leave a fair bit to be desired. she doesn't lie but she isn't always kind, either.

so you have this man beyond in love with a woman he doesn't think he can trust who just admitted she'd loved him for years. it's easy to live in that hurt and anger and assume the worst of someone when they've just betrayed your trust so deeply. it would probably be easy to feel manipulated. i don't think him questioning her motives is beyond the realm of possibility but i do think penelope is better than me because if i get accused of something i didn't do i would act up something fierce (see this is why my husband had to marry me, he had to keep me from terrorizing the rest of the population with my dramatics. a hero of our times, really).

anyways, what i mean is, i think it's easy to ignore the lead up to that betrayal as an audience since we know penelope's anguish and hurt over what she's done but colin has no idea and it's very fresh for him so it's easy to lash out and think everything had a motive. penelope as LW is very calculating and pointed. i think it's smart of her, actually, to continually tell him she loves him and not constantly poke at the argument. she's not giving him anything else to hold up and use against her after the fact. she's very frank and open even when they have their argument in the street.

this idea he has of LW is this hurtful, manipulative person playing with people's lives. like, LW would entrap him but penelope wouldn't so it's easy to hate one and love the other and i think his inability to bring them together as one person could play into that dynamic of feeling insecure of what her intentions were. you can sort of see each time he breaks because he knows penelope loves him but he steps back each time he's reminded of LW and how it comes between them.

something i also think plays out in his inability to communicate effectively and how deeply his self-loathing goes into his jealousy of her success and how he's incapable of being intimate with penelope until he's in a better headspace. he loves penelope. he wants to marry her and be with her and live a life with her but there's a 3rd person in his marriage in his mind and what does one do with all of that when you're so firmly penelope-sexual you're staring at the walls in a brothel when you're still single? idk man.

just remember if you're sorry for having read this, i am sorrier for having written it. except for the penelope-sexual part. that's still funny to me.

[princess-aziza]

Penelope and Calypso are so similar but also polar opposites of each other

-waiting for years for someone to love them/loved one to come back

-Calypso tbh isn't all that cunning. Like it's blatantly obvious she is trying to guilt Ody into staying (even if she's also being honest about her feelings at the same time)

-Penelope: ABSOLUTE genius. The marriage bed, the challenge, weaving and unweaving the shroud. Love her ❤️

-Calypso has all the power on the island but no power elsewhere. Meanwhile Penelope has power over Odysseus and essentially the whole damn epic plot line while simultaneously having almost no power in her own house (she can't kick the suitors out, but does what she can to keep herself and Telemachus safe)

-Calypso confessed her feelings in a very similar way but more with words not as much range of emotion if that makes sense? "I'm angry and tired and restless and sad"

-Penelope, after the bed moment, just BREAKS. you can HEAR the pent up anger and fear from the last 20 years and then the utter relief that Odysseus is home but also she's so mad at him for thinking she wouldn't want him anymore

-They both call Odysseus theirs but Calypso doesn't fight to hold onto him (possibly bc she knows what it feels like to be trapped in a place you don't want to be)

Penelope...if the animatics don't have her digging her nails into Ody's shirt and pulling him close when she says "I don't care how long it's been you're MINE" I will cry. This girl has FOUGHT for Odysseus just like he's fought for her

-and then of course there's the obvious Odysseus only loosely tries to comfort Calypso when she comes looking for him on the island and then immediately turns to leave without looking back

While with Penelope she's full breakdown and he goes to comfort her HE GOES TO HER and they're together and happy in the end

Sorry this post got away from me

Basically I just pictured Penelope spinning like Calypso in the Not Sorry For Loving You scene while she sings "dont tell me youre not the same person and ive been waiiiiiting" in WYFILWMA and I couldn't get the comparison out of my head

[allthecastlesonclouds]

i am thinking about your dance au. it has lived in my brain rent free always. love it. so good.

i am also always thinking about them. i'm so glad you're also enjoying them and i'm taking this as a prompt to make more of it (i want to so bad)

if the teacher has to leave the classroom, they'll most often put kristen or adaine in charge. with adaine everything goes fine. with kristen it's chaos incarnate that somehow (*riz) turns into them being productive by the time the teacher comes back

the kristen-and-fig combo has gotten at least 4 teachers fired.

they're not always trying to, but they pretty often are

fig specifically gets A Lot of spotlights in dances because she can be very Loud and Personable, but she has also had these spotlights taken away many times (she simply begins improving shit)

she got a solo this year because aguefort was a little bitch, knew gorgug wanted a solo, and so offered it to his best friend instead of him

ayda did not know this was her father's reasoning.

she just thought if was because fig's a good dancer (she is)

fabian and fig are The Flexible Ones™ and aren't. vocal about it, but they certainly aren't subtle, either. teachers have had to tell them to not make their splits too good.

riz is also pretty flexible, but his stature makes it less obvious. when your friends are all at least 2 feet taller than you your grande battement doesn't look as good.

fabian drags fig in early one day and asks her to do some improv with him bc he wants to try out for a swing dancing tournament, they have the time of their life.

gorgug and ayda often practice two different dances in the same room at the same time.

adaine and riz are the best technically, but they do struggle a lot with the acting part of it. walking into a class you'd expect the most awkward to be gorgug, but they were both trained on ballet-smile-fixed-on-your-face-at-all-times and so any acting at all is. extra practice for them

speaking of gorgug he's so quietly good. he can act and he knows the steps and he has good balance and good flexibility so. he's just good. but he's not loud about it, and the teachers don't often point it out

he writes the steps down before practicing throughout the week

riz makes tutorial videos for kristen (or for anyone if they miss a class) to help her learn and remember the steps. he says he likes doing it. nobody's 100% sure on that's true. (including him)

aelwyn and baron dance at the same studio (across town)

penelope originally danced at both and then she had a little scandal where she was blackmailing a teacher and she couldn't dance at either bc her father couldn't pay aguefort to cover it up

aelwyn starts working at aguefort's but refuses to teach anyone besides the ages 9-13 because "they're little shits and i need someone to tell me just what they're thinking, adaine."

zayn is inexplicably sometimes where ayda is. they're never in the same place at once but zayn just. appears. when ayda needs/wants to go do something and rawlins for some reason isn't there.

garthy runs an swing dancing studio that is also a pole dancing studio! bob does swing dancing trixie does pole dancing

[bellascarousel]

you know why i do this???? of caming here and ask you to not be suchna a fatphobic, just becuase it is painful to see woman ( even plus sice woman, as you said you are) mocking on a woman who is a plus size too, yeah this is a fictional character who not even exist but what you did to her trandsfer to real life, as you mock and treat her bad wishing her t end alone or not accept in the bridgerton family is what you will do to other fat woman . And not suggest me therapy or that i have problems, simone is a freaking bad person and you all support that!!!!

All right. You know what? I'm going to answer all of your stupid, bullying, harassment disguised as "asks". Some of this may get redundant, because YOU are redundant. Constantly saying the same thing over and over and over and over. You're fucking exhausting, honestly.

This is gonna be long, since I'm answering like half a dozen asks all at once. So, rant is below the cut.

I do not know how many times I can tell you that I'm not fucking fatphobic, and my problem with Penelope Featherington has nothing to do with her weight. But, apparently we're going to try to answer THAT question tonight, too. Yeah. I don't like her character. Because of her fucking ACTIONS. But, I know that you will give me more opportunities to talk about this, so whatever. Moving on.

what it is disgusting is you liking and supporting simone ashley that much when it is clear she is evil. While trashing plus sizes. Also it ks sad and disgustin how you probably laugh and ock with your friends in privat about polin sex scenes, what... you laugh at nic`s belly?? ohh yes fucking disuting simone is skinny bitch with flat stomach, not any fat there SHIT!!! life is so much more easy for her because of it and you all still support her .

What is so "evil" about Simone? The fact that she's skinny? I'm sure Nicola would just LOVE to see how her so-called "fans" (we will definitely get to why you aren't actually a fan of hers, later) trash-talk one of her friends. I have never "trashed" Nicola. I may talk trash about PENELOPE - the FICTIONAL CHARACTER - because of her actions and the way she was written. But, I have no fucking problem with NICOLA as a person. And certainly not with her looks. She's fucking gorgeous. I will admit to preferring the Kathony sex scenes to any of the ones in seasons 1 or 3, or in QC. But, that's because they're less graphic. I'd dislike them just as much if they were as "in your face" as the others. As for Simone having it easier than Nicola because of her size... honey, I can guarantee that a LOT more doors were closed to Simone for the color of her skin than were closed to Nicola for her weight.

and you know what?? eah, i search for your shit becuase what you wished for pen is what you did to poor fat irls who happened to jump into you in life

Can you please try to comprehend that not liking a fictional character for her ACTIONS in no way correlates to how I treat people in real life? Though, TBF, if somebody were to "jump into me" in real life, I probably would have fucking problems with them, too. Since, uh, pretty sure that phrase means giving people shit and fucking bullying them. So, yeah. I'd have a fucking problem with somebody "jumping into me" no matter WHAT they look like.

I don't consider show edwina or Mary not loving kate. Why you keep putting them as the evil ones even in the show when they are not???

Because actions speak louder than words. And one conversation each, at the end of the season, doesn't make up for them ignoring her, and everything else. But, since I could write a fucking ESSAY on why I don't like show Mary, or show Edwina - especially in comparison to their book counterparts - I'm just going to leave it at that. They may have loved her because she was family (though, let's not forget Edwina disowning her), but they didn't love her as a person. They didn't even KNOW her as a person, and neither of them cared to even try until she almost died. Had Kate not had that accident, Edwina probably would have gone to her grave hating her for the crime of daring to have feelings of her own - that she didn't even act on.

Anthonh never was colinas father. Don't say BS , he was welcome st colin's bachelor party!! But he didn't care enough to go. When his brither was steuggling he only attempt to be smug and arrogant about his marriage instead of helping him!! I think that will be okey with you since you are a fatphobe and you only like toxic man

Umm... not only have I never said that Anthony was Colin's father, I've never heard anybody ELSE say that, either. And I've also never seen anybody say that Anthony wasn't invited to Colin's bachelor party. So... maybe stop getting mad at shit you make up in your own head? I don't know what the in-universe reason for Anthony not being there was. My personal guess is that either Kate was experiencing morning sickness and Anthony was taking care of her, or an emergency came up with the estate. Though, the real reason is that the production chose to film that scene during a time that Jonny wasn't available. There's a cynical part of me that wonders if they did it on purpose to create this fucking fandom drama. But, maybe that's just the fact that it's getting close to my bedtime talking.

And, okay. Yeah. Anthony is an idiot. A clown. He was still riding the high of somehow actually getting this woman to marry him after doing everything wrong. But, on that note. What advice was he going to give? "You saw what I did, last season? Don't do that." The simple truth is that Anthony had no advice to give, because he has no bloody clue how he ended up married to Kate. Would you actually WANT that idiot giving your fave relationship advice? Sounds like a good way to break Polin up, actually.

In lets run aways together the problem is not bagwell, is that you made edwina so badN that is not show edwina. And you made kate a bitch!! Trily she needed to humilate edwina and mary that much??? Threatening them to not have money !!!?? What a bitch!! It could have be funny if it os not sad how you like that your faves are bad people. You made kabtjiby so shit people and they ar eyour faves!! For kanthony fajs it is okey to cheat on your own sister and it is okey to threatenee them to be por and edwina need to end poor while kate got all.

Oh, here we go. First of all, so glad to see that you are now on-board with Bagwell. I'm guessing that's since she didn't end up with the prince in the show, either? But, I portrayed Edwina exactly the way I saw her. And... honestly, she turned out a lot nicer than I was expecting her to. I did NOT expect that convo with the queen where she realized and admitted her own faults.

But, where did Kate humiliate Edwina and Mary? I just read over the parts of LRAT where she talked to them and see nothing that could be considered humiliating. And where the fuck did I have them threaten them to be poor? Anthony provided them with an allowance - on top of providing a home for them. And then Anthony gave Edwina a dowry. At no time were either of them threatened to not have money. They had an allowance, they were GIVEN a home, Edwina had a dowry. The ONLY conditions on ANY of that was that for Edwina to get her dowry, she had to start treating Kate like an actual sister again, and she had to marry somebody who would actually make her HAPPY. Oh, the horror!

But! You know who WAS going to be poor if her family had their way? KATE. Mary and Edwina were both perfectly fine with the idea of Kate going back to India and becoming a servant when it was EDWINA that was going to be a rich viscountess. What Kate and Anthony gave Mary and Edwina was a fuck of a lot more than Mary and Edwina would have given Kate.

why you like kanthony and why you hate polin??? wy you love kate and hate Pen???

Oh... this one is actually kind of fun! Kathony are... two little puzzle pieces that just fit together. They were made for each other. And not just in the sense that it's a romance novel, so of course they were written for each other. They just give the feeling of having been made for each other in-universe, too. They bring out the best in each other, and make each other better. I wrote a whole fucking essay about them embodying Edmund's line about how you can't give somebody your best until you've let them see your worst. I'm sure you've read it, since you stalk my blog like it's your job. And I relate to them. I relate to Kate feeling like she doesn't belong. I relate to Anthony feeling like nothing he does is ever right. I relate to feeling like not only does love need to be earned, but that you're failing to do so. I also love how they could be themselves with each other in a way they couldn't with anybody else. Like, Daphne mentioned before Anthony's first wedding how he never smiles or laughs anymore. But, he smiles and laughs with Kate. They healed each other.

I didn't finish Polin's book because it bored me. I loved Colin in every book but his own. In his book, I wanted to stab him. And the book was just boring in general. The best parts in it were Hyacinth and Felicity. I just never really got that "meant to be together" vibe from them that I got from Kathony. And they just... didn't really have any stakes. I think I like when my romance characters are damaged in some way. And Polin just really weren't. Which might be a big part of why their book bored me.

Comparing Kate to Pen... Kate made mistakes. Of course she did. But, she owned up to them. And most of them were made out of love. She loved Edwina and wanted her to have everything her heart desired. Even at the expense of Kate's own heart. Pen... most of her mistakes were out of jealousy and spite. And she never really atones for any of it.

You'll notice that I didn't mention appearance at all. Now, I challenge you to do the same. Tell me why you like Pen and not Kate, and Polin and not Kathony. But! You aren't allowed to mention Nicola's weight. I want to know what you like about Penelope as a CHARACTER.

you cynical bitch. Ypu post about fatness when you dislike Pen because you canpt stand a fat woman being love. If this wasn`t true you would have love her not matter what

OMFG! So-called Penelope stans actually respect Nicola's wishes and go a whole day without mentioning her weight, or calling her fat challenge! Nicola has asked, repeatedly, for people to not talk about her weight. But, that is all you people EVER talk about. You have absolutely zero respect for her as a person, and only pretend to give a shit about her because of her weight. If you were really a fan of hers, you would show some fucking respect and do as she has REPEATEDLY asked, and STOP CALLING HER FAT EVERY FUCKING DAY. I find it fascinating that you keep calling Kathony fans fatphobic, and yet, you literally see NOTHING about Nicola or Penelope except her weight. Honey, you're the one being fatphobic. Because you are the one reducing her to nothing but a number on a scale.

So, sorry. But, no. It doesn't work that way. Her weight doesn't give her a free pass. Penelope as a character is frankly a jealous bitch. And I am not required to love her despite that just because she also happens to be bigger. The two things are not at all related. I would hate Penelope's character even if she was as skinny as Kate.

So there! Most of your asks have now been answered. Now, leave me the fuck alone! Why don't you find some people who like the same things you do and talk about things you actually LIKE?! That sounds like a lot more fun than bullying and harassing people for the crime of not liking the same fictional character you do. Get a fucking life!